Podcast Summary: 10% Happier with Dan Harris

Episode: How To Keep Your Sh*t Together No Matter What | Kamala Masters
Date: September 26, 2025
Host: Dan Harris
Guest: Kamala Masters, with introductory comments by DJ Kashmir

Overview of the Episode

This episode explores the practice of equanimity—how to maintain balance and composure through life’s inevitable ups and downs. Veteran teacher Kamala Masters shares practical wisdom, focusing on how she developed equanimity as a single mother raising three children. Her story demonstrates that meditative practice is possible in the midst of chaos and that anyone, even those with busy home lives, can cultivate a calm and balanced mind. The episode offers actionable advice on bringing meditative awareness to daily routines and care tasks, emphasizing that real practice happens in real life, not just on the cushion.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Defining Equanimity and How to Practice It

• Equanimity vs. Loving-Kindness (Metta)

  • Kamala describes how traditional practice begins with loving-kindness (metta) to warm the heart before moving into equanimity, which centers on wisdom and acceptance.
  • “Equanimity… has these individuals that we go through. Equanimity starts with a neutral person because with that neutral person, we can more easily develop equanimity towards that person.” (Kamala Masters, 08:12)

• Formulating “Wisdom Phrases”

  • Unlike metta phrases, equanimity practices use statements or understandings:
    • “Pleasure and pain, arise and pass away. This is how it is.”
    • “Gain and sorrow, arise and pass away. This is how it is in life.”
    • “Birth and death are part of life.”
  • “They’re very oriented towards understanding that this is the way it is right now. …what brings equanimity is that we’re not reacting to it, that we’re aligning in ever deepening ways to the unfolding of life.” (Kamala Masters, 10:57)

• Traditional and Adapted Equanimity Phrases

  • Traditional phrase:
    “All beings are owners of their karma. Their happiness or unhappiness depends upon their actions and not upon my wishes.”
  • Adapted for parenting or attachment:
    “All beings have their own journey.” (Kamala Masters, 12:58–13:49)

2. Equanimity in Daily Life, Especially in Parenting

• Personal Challenges as Practice Opportunities

  • Kamala openly discusses the difficulties and frustrations of single motherhood:
    • “I have not always been equanimous with my children. …I just have blown my top sometimes.” (Kamala Masters, 14:40)
    • She normalizes imperfection: “We’re just human. That could be an equanimity phrase. Remember that we’re all just human.” (Kamala Masters, 15:01)

• Finding Practice in Ordinary Moments

  • Kamala’s teacher, Munindraji, showed her how to transform daily household chores into mindfulness practice:
    • “Mostly what I do is wash dishes.”
    • Munindraji responded: “Okay, let’s go to the sink.” He taught her to feel the sensation of warm water, to notice and note thoughts (e.g., “worrying, worrying”), and to turn walking back and forth in the house into walking meditation. (Kamala Masters, 18:47–20:28)
    • “So I would just go to the breath. Just be there. When it goes to something else, notice that. …I was so desperate, I would do anything. …It was really helpful to do that—practice at home, everyday practice.” (Kamala Masters, 20:44–21:06)

3. Empowerment Through Mindful Attention

• Responsibility for Our Own Mind

  • “The job is to handle your own mind. …you can’t take responsibility for everything that happens with somebody else, but you can take responsibility for your own mind.” (Dan Harris, 16:22)
  • Kamala adds:
    “Impact we can make with our energy, first of all, needs to be with ourselves—to look [at] what’s going on in our own minds because that’s what really can change.” (Kamala Masters, 16:52–17:33)

• Role Modeling and Presence

  • Referencing her teacher’s advice:
    “When there is a purity of the mind… the mind is very powerful. What it says, what it does can have a great impact around us. Just the transmission of having a person like that in our presence is very powerful.” (Kamala Masters, 17:33)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

On Finding Practice in Daily Life:

• “He stood right beside me as if we were under the Bodhi tree, and he taught me how to wash the dishes.”
  (Kamala Masters, 19:05)

On Parenting and Equanimity:

• “We’re just human. That could be an equanimity phrase. Remember that we’re all just human.”
  (Kamala Masters, 15:01)
• “All beings have their own journey. …I’ll help you as much as I can. And I know that the unfolding of your life is really beyond my control.”
  (Kamala Masters, 13:37)

On Empowerment and Self-Compassion:

• “The job is to handle your own mind.”
  (Dan Harris, 16:22)
• “That’s a massively empowering and, I think, even liberating thing to teach people.”
  (Dan Harris, 16:26)

On Why Daily Practice Matters:

• “Practice at home in my daily life—walking through the hallways, opening doors, washing dishes—helped me, when I went to my first retreat, be able to have continuity in my practice.”
  (Kamala Masters, 18:49)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• The Difference Between Metta and Equanimity Practice: 08:12–11:39
• Equanimity Phrases for Daily Life and Parenting: 12:58–15:01
• Handling Our Own Mind (Empowerment): 16:22–17:33
• Kamala’s Story—Practicing at Home as a Single Parent: 18:47–21:06
• Kamala’s Advice for Busy Listeners: 21:09–21:34

Tone and Takeaway

The conversation is candid, compassionate, and encouraging. Kamala’s gentle, grounded wisdom and personal vulnerability make ancient meditation teachings feel practical and accessible. The key message:
Equanimity isn't about being unaffected by life, but about learning to meet life as it is—with wisdom, humility, and self-care—no matter the circumstances.

Summary Table

| Topic | Speaker | Timestamp | Key Message/Quote | |-------------------------------------|------------------|-------------|--------------------------------------------------------| | Difference: Metta & Equanimity | Kamala | 08:12 | “Equanimity starts with a neutral person...” | | Equanimity Phrases | Kamala | 10:21 | “May you have balance in your life…” | | Ownership/Karma Phrases | Kamala | 12:58 | “All beings are owners of their karma...” | | Parenting & Imperfection | Kamala | 14:40 | “I have not always been equanimous with my children.” | | Humanizing the Practice | Kamala | 15:01 | “Remember that we’re all just human.” | | Responding to Suffering | Dan/Kamala | 15:32–15:48 | “If your mind is balanced, you’re not freaking out…” | | Practice in Chores | Kamala | 18:47–19:58 | “He taught me how to wash the dishes…” | | Responsible for Own Mind | Dan/Kamala | 16:22–17:33 | “The job is to handle your own mind.” | | Practical Advice for Listeners | Dan/Kamala | 21:09–21:34 | “We could just do it walking...while doing chores...” |

For listeners who feel too busy or overwhelmed to practice, Kamala Masters’ story is a North Star: Meditative presence can be woven into the fabric of ordinary life, no matter how messy or demanding.