Podcast Summary: 10% Happier with Dan Harris

Episode: How To Perform Under Pressure—With Both Peace and Confidence | Jim Murphy
Date: October 22, 2025
Host: Dan Harris
Guest: Jim Murphy (performance coach, author of Inner Excellence and The Best Possible Life)

Episode Overview

This episode centers on performing with both peace and confidence under pressure. Dan Harris interviews Jim Murphy, a performance coach whose book Inner Excellence gained newfound fame after NFL star A.J. Brown was spotted reading it on the sidelines, triggering a dramatic turn in Murphy’s personal and professional life. The conversation explores Murphy’s methods for cultivating inner excellence, letting go of attachment to results, reframing self-narratives, and living a purposeful, connected life—drawing on both spiritual and practical traditions.

Key Segments and Discussion Points

Jim Murphy’s Breakout Moment & Spiritual Backdrop

[06:48 – 13:54]

• A.J. Brown Story: Murphy was at a low point—his business had stalled, he had just lost his mother, and he felt financially stretched—when his earlier book, Inner Excellence, went viral after being seen in the hands of A.J. Brown during a high-profile NFL game.
• Murphy reflects on experiencing this turn of fortune as a kind of spiritual test, asking, “Are you in it for the money? Where’s your heart?” (Murphy, [11:27])
• Role of Faith: Murphy is open about his Christianity as driving his perspective on love, purpose, and service, but he stresses that his advice is accessible to people of all faiths (or none). “You do not have to believe in God in order to adopt his brilliant advice.” (Harris, [05:17])
• Inclusivity of Teachings: Murphy’s approach aligns with universal principles found in Buddhism and Hinduism, embracing ancient wisdom about the laws of the universe, regardless of specific belief systems ([15:16]).

Identity, the Death of Ego, and Coaching Journey

[16:58 – 22:29]

• Murphy narrates how is own identity was deeply wrapped up in being a pro baseball player until vision problems ended his career and he felt lost.
  • “Whenever you have a dream, right next to it is the fear of losing it.” (Murphy, [17:09])
  • He defines ego as “a part of your mind that’s always comparing, always threatened, never satisfied.” ([16:58])
• Unexpectedly succeeding as a high school baseball coach led him to pursue coaching at elite levels—until a mismatch with major league team culture led him to walk away, again feeling a crisis of identity.
• A transformative trip coaching the South African Olympic baseball team—experiencing poverty, connection, and purpose—redirected his life’s ambition.
• Retreat into solitude and research in Arizona led to his focus on teaching peace and confidence under pressure, eventually writing Inner Excellence ([22:29]).

The Core Question: Performing Under Pressure

[22:29 – 25:10]

• Murphy’s driving inquiry became, “How can a pro athlete have peace and confidence under massive pressure?” when results and circumstances seem largely out of one’s control.
• The realization: “The path to the most peace and confidence under pressure is the same as the path to living the best possible life for anybody”—a life grounded in wholeheartedness, spirit, and a “heart transformation” from self-centeredness to love and service ([24:18]).

Ego, Non-Attachment, and Purpose

[25:10 – 29:22]

• Murphy illustrates the “non-attachment to results” principle using a lollipop analogy for golf pros: Give up attachment to temporary outcomes for a bigger purpose, a long-term, deeper sense of meaning.
  • Notable quote: “We need to focus on pursuing the life that you want to live, which means becoming the person that you want to become ... having a bigger purpose for your life than just these temporary things.” (Murphy, [26:03])
• This transformation allows people under pressure—athletes, presenters, parents—to “respond rather than react.”

Heart Transformation and Responding vs. Reacting

[27:40 – 29:22]

• Murphy argues the keys to high performance are found in the subconscious, not just the rational mind.
• “When we’re squeezed, when we’re under pressure, what comes out is our heart, our spirit. That’s why we need to train it.” (Murphy, [28:03])
• The aim is to align oneself with the “energy in the universe”—whether viewed as divine or simply natural law.

Service, Connection, and Rewiring Self-Narratives

[29:22 – 38:08]

• Harris and Murphy agree that the best performance and life satisfaction flows from moving beyond self-preoccupation to connection, relationships, and service.
  • “The view is better when you pull your head out of your ass,” Harris jokes ([30:35]).
• The human heart’s deepest need is for love and connection—loneliness and isolation being the greatest punishments.
• Murphy teaches clients to speak about negative patterns or diagnoses (“my anxiety,” “my panic attacks”) in non-possessive, past-tense terms to avoid reinforcing limiting identities.
  • “We want to make sure that we don’t put labels on ourselves that we don’t want to be in the future.” (Murphy, [35:00])
• Harris shares a parallel teaching from meditation: using language like “There is anger,” rather than “I am angry,” makes difficult mind states more workable ([37:06]).

The Power of Language and Belief

[38:08 – 50:42]

• Language shapes unconscious beliefs, which drive behavior and experience.
• Tools like grading oneself daily on intentions/values, and carefully choosing present-tense, empowering self-talk, help rewire limiting patterns.
• Murphy recommends provisional language—staying tentative, using “maybe” or “possibly,” to align with reality and soothe the nervous system.

The Four Daily Goals – Murphy’s Playbook

[66:37 – 70:38]

1. Give the best of what you’ve got each day.
   Understand that “your best” fluctuates. Show up fully with what you have available.
2. Be present.
   Murphy defines this as being “fully engaged heart, mind, and body, unattached to what you’re trying to do. There’s a real sense of freedom and joy.”
3. Be grateful.
   Gratitude is directly linked to inner peace and resilience.
4. Focus on routines and what you can control.
   Limiting one’s concern to controllable factors increases freedom and peace.

• Murphy encourages writing these goals down, reviewing them daily, and assigning oneself 1-5 scores on each at the end of the day ([69:20]).

The “Expect Nothing” Tool & Holding Goals Lightly

[84:46 – 85:28]

• Referencing the code of the samurai: Before a challenge, breathe deeply and say, “I expect ... nothing.”
  • “I have no needs. I can handle anything.” (Murphy, [84:46])
• Holding ambitions (such as having the world’s best podcast) loosely, recognizing that what we fear most or desire most may not truly serve our highest good.

Joy, Sacrificial Love, and Service

[56:06 – 57:04]

• Murphy distinguishes between happiness (temporary, dependent on circumstances) and joy (a deep sense of well-being, “independent of circumstances ... an inner buoyancy ... that comes from love”).
• True joy is rooted in “sacrificial love,” but he emphasizes that this is not “idiot compassion” or people pleasing. Real love has boundaries and puts the group’s well-being first ([57:31]).

Embracing Fear and Growth

[60:08 – 61:59]

• The third of his daily goals—courage—means: Face whatever you feel. Be willing to experience uncomfortable feelings; this is the edge of growth.
  • “If you’re willing to face any feeling, then you got possibilities.” (Murphy, [61:35])
• Exposure therapy and NLP can help rewire unconscious fear responses.

Reshaping Purpose and Motivation

[77:03 – 84:25]

• The ultimate purpose: “Selfless is fearless.”
  • Success and ambition are welcomed, but motivation should be grounded in a desire to serve and connect—not simply personal aggrandizement.
• Reframes selfishness as “wise selfishness” (a Dalai Lama term), acknowledging the necessity of self-care but warning against its dominance.

Notable Quotes

• On the real test of purpose:
  “It was almost like this little test, like, are you in it for the money? Like, where’s your heart, Jim?”
  —Jim Murphy ([11:27])

• On heart transformation:
  “The path to having the most peace and confidence under the most pressure is the same path as living the best possible life for anybody.”
  —Jim Murphy ([24:18])

• On non-attachment:
  “We need to focus on pursuing the life that you want to live, which means becoming the person that you want to become ... having a bigger purpose for your life.”
  —Jim Murphy ([26:03])

• On service and self-preoccupation:
  “The view is better when you pull your head out of your ass.”
  —Dan Harris ([30:35])

• On language and belief:
  “We want to make sure that we don’t put labels on ourselves that we don’t want to be in the future.”
  —Jim Murphy ([35:00])

• On fear and possibility:
  “If you’re willing to face any feeling, then you got possibilities.”
  —Jim Murphy ([61:35])

• On joy vs. happiness:
  “Happiness is a positive, temporary feeling based on what’s happening. Joy is a deep sense of well-being, freedom, and gratitude independent of circumstances ... and that comes from love.”
  —Jim Murphy ([56:06])

• On holding expectations loosely:
  “I expect nothing. I can handle anything.”
  —Jim Murphy ([84:46])

Timestamps of Key Segments

• A.J. Brown story and spiritual inflection: [06:48 – 13:54]
• Transition from athlete to coach and ego death: [16:58 – 22:29]
• Counterintuitive secret to performing under pressure: [22:29 – 25:10]
• The non-attachment principle explained: [25:10 – 29:22]
• Beyond self: service, connection, and love: [29:22 – 38:08]
• On language, beliefs, and rewiring identity: [38:08 – 50:42]
• The four daily goals for inner excellence: [66:37 – 70:38]
• Navigating ambition, service, and expectation: [77:03 – 85:28]
• The expect nothing tool: [84:46 – 85:28]

Practical Takeaways & Tools

• Ask yourself: “How do I want to feel in the life that remains to me?” Begin right now to design for more of those feelings ([55:07]).
• Four Daily Goals:
  1. Give your best (with what you have each day)
  2. Be present
  3. Be grateful
  4. Focus only on your routines and what you can control
     Write down and reflect daily.
• Use empowering language about yourself and your experiences (past-tense for unwanted patterns, “there is” rather than “I am” for emotions).
• Hold ambitions and expectations loosely. Try the “Expect nothing, I can handle anything” breath before challenges.
• Reframe purpose toward service and connection. Let go of “ego” as your driver, use ambition as a tool for growth and outreach.
• Cultivate joy through love and connection—not through temporary external validations.
• Face feelings head-on: Growth lies on the edge of discomfort.

This episode provides a grounded, practical guide for anyone seeking to perform—on the field, in the boardroom, or in daily life—with more peace, confidence, and genuine fulfillment. Jim Murphy’s tools and stories offer a pathway for transforming both your performance and your sense of purpose, whatever your spiritual bearings.