Podcast Summary: "Is It Possible To Improve Your Personality? The Science Says Yes. Here’s How To Do It." with Olga Khazan
Introduction
In this enlightening episode of 10% Happier with Dan Harris, host Dan Harris engages in a thoughtful conversation with Olga Khazan, a staff writer for The Atlantic and author of the book Me, But Better. Released on July 23, 2025, this episode delves into the intriguing question of whether personality can be changed, exploring scientific insights and practical strategies to facilitate personal growth.
Defining Personality
Olga begins by elucidating the concept of personality, describing it as "the thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that come most instinctively or naturally to us" (09:11). She references the Big Five personality traits—Extraversion, Agreeableness, Conscientiousness, Neuroticism, and Openness—and emphasizes that while genetics play a significant role (30-50%), environmental factors and deliberate efforts can influence and shape these traits.
Extraversion: Enhancing Social Connections
The conversation transitions to Extraversion, where Olga shares her personal journey of overcoming introversion to improve her happiness. Initially scoring in the 23rd percentile for Extraversion, she found that excessive alone time was detrimental to her well-being.
Olga outlines her approach to increasing Extraversion:
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Commitment to Activities: She signed up for improv classes and hiking groups, choosing activities she enjoyed to reduce the temptation to back out (17:32).
Olga Khazan: "I picked activities like sailing and hiking because they were pleasurable, making it easier to stay committed."
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Quality Over Quantity: Emphasizing meaningful interactions over superficial ones, Olga advocated for recurring social engagements that foster deeper connections.
Notable Quote:
Olga Khazan: "It's not just the quantity of social interactions, it's the quality of social interactions that truly matters." (32:02)
Agreeableness: Balancing Warmth and Assertiveness
Next, Olga discusses Agreeableness, highlighting the importance of empathy and warmth without becoming a pushover. She emphasizes setting boundaries to maintain genuine relationships.
Key Points:
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Empathy vs. Pushover: True Agreeableness involves being kind and empathetic while also standing up for oneself.
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Setting Boundaries: Olga shares her experience managing friendships by communicating her limits clearly, ensuring relationships remain healthy and respectful.
Notable Quote:
Olga Khazan: "True agreeableness is not being a pushover. It's about setting boundaries in a warm and empathetic way." (37:12)
Conscientiousness: Enhancing Organization and Productivity
Olga explores Conscientiousness, defining it as the ability to stay organized, meet deadlines, and maintain productivity. She offers practical strategies for those looking to boost this trait:
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Episodic Future Thinking: Visualizing specific positive outcomes can motivate individuals to undertake and complete tasks.
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Using Tools: Implementing tools like to-do lists, calendars, and time-blocking to maintain organization.
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Incremental Changes: Small, consistent actions can lead to significant improvements over time.
Notable Quote:
Olga Khazan: "Episodic future thinking is the antidote to procrastination. Visualizing your desired outcome motivates you to take incremental steps." (56:21)
Neuroticism: Reducing Anxiety and Enhancing Emotional Stability
Addressing Neuroticism, Olga acknowledges its profound impact on personal happiness and mental health. She shares her battle with anxiety and depression, detailing how mindfulness and meditation played a crucial role in managing her emotional well-being.
Strategies Discussed:
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Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR): A structured 10-week program that combines meditation and weekly classes to foster emotional stability.
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Coping Mechanisms: Developing mantras and using cognitive reframing to manage negative thoughts and reduce self-blame.
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Practical Tips for Busy Lives: Even short, consistent mindfulness practices (e.g., 5-10 minutes daily) can be effective for those with hectic schedules.
Notable Quote:
Olga Khazan: "The most important reason to change your personality is that it will make you happier. It's something that enhances your life and your relationships." (75:06)
Openness: Fostering Creativity and Embracing New Experiences
Lastly, Olga tackles Openness, describing it as the trait associated with creativity, curiosity, and a willingness to embrace new ideas and experiences. She mentions psychedelics as a scientifically backed method to boost Openness, though she advises caution and professional guidance.
Key Points:
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Balanced Openness: While high levels of Openness can lead to creative insights, excessive levels may verge on psychosis.
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Practical Approaches: Engaging in creative activities, exploring new hobbies, and maintaining a curious mindset can naturally enhance this trait.
Notable Quote:
Olga Khazan: "Openness includes creativity, imagination, and a willingness to embrace new and avant-garde experiences." (70:25)
Practical Advice for Personal Growth
Towards the end of the episode, Olga provides actionable steps for listeners aspiring to improve their personality traits:
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Start Small: Implement manageable changes, such as gratitude journaling or brief meditation sessions.
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Consistency is Key: Regular practice over an extended period yields the best results.
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Personalized Approach: Tailor strategies to fit individual lifestyles and preferences to ensure sustainability.
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Self-Focused Motivation: Emphasize changes that primarily enhance personal happiness and well-being rather than seeking approval from others.
Closing Remarks
Olga Khazan concludes by reaffirming that personality change is achievable and beneficial for personal happiness. She encourages listeners to engage in self-improvement for their own sake, highlighting that a happier individual naturally fosters better relationships and a more fulfilling life.
Notable Quote:
Olga Khazan: "The happier you get, the easier it will be to be around others." (75:33)
Additional Resources
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Books by Olga Khazan:
- Me, But Better
- Weird
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Online Platforms:
- The Atlantic: theatlantic.com
- Olga Khazan’s Newsletter: olgahazan.substack.com
Listeners are also invited to access a customized meditation companion to this episode, available to paid subscribers at danharris.com, which specifically addresses procrastination.
Conclusion
This episode offers a comprehensive exploration of personality development, blending scientific research with personal anecdotes. Olga Khazan’s insights provide valuable guidance for anyone interested in understanding and enhancing their personality traits to achieve greater happiness and fulfillment.