Podcast Summary: "Overwhelmed? Over-Scheduled? Burnt Out? Here's the Antidote."

10% Happier with Dan Harris — Guest: Dr. Diana Hill
Release Date: Nov 10, 2025

Episode Overview

In this episode, Dan Harris hosts clinical psychologist and author Dr. Diana Hill to discuss solutions for overwhelm, burnout, and over-scheduling, drawing from her new book Wise Effort: How to Focus Your Genius Energy on What Matters Most. The conversation centers on the Buddhist concept of wise effort, psychological flexibility, and practical methods to align actions with deeply held values. Dr. Hill applies both modern Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and ancient wisdom to provide accessible tools for listeners struggling to manage their energy and responsibilities.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. What is Wise Effort?

[06:22–08:15]

• Wise effort is about aligning your actions and energy with your core values, leading to regenerative rather than draining experiences.
• It derives from Buddhism’s Eightfold Path and has practical applications in everyday life and psychology.

  "I see wise effort as using your energy in ways that align with your values, that are regenerative, that are using your strengths and that give to others and as well give back to you." — Dr. Diana Hill [07:24]

2. Why Do We Get Overwhelmed?

[08:15–10:39]

• Dan shares real-life examples of dreading tasks and discusses with Diana why people experience burnout and overload.
• The "rocks in a jar" metaphor: Filling your schedule with too many things, often not guided by core values but by external “shoulds.”

3. Privileged Solutions vs. Universal Ones

[10:39–12:45]

• Not everyone has the privilege to remove things from their schedule. Wise effort must also apply to those who can't easily cut back and must deal with non-negotiable demands.
• The challenge: How to bring values and acceptance even to obligations we can’t change.

4. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT): The Foundation

[13:44–16:52]

• ACT’s purpose is not to rid oneself of discomfort but to become more psychologically flexible and act in alignment with one's values.
• Six core processes: Flexible attention, behavior, self, emotions, and motivation.
• Psychological flexibility is relevant across a huge spectrum, from elite athletes to clinical populations.

  “Psychological flexibility may be sort of like the most important skill that you could ever have to adapt to life’s challenges and to open up your life.” — Dr. Hill [16:32]

5. CBT vs. ACT

[16:52–22:59]

• CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) is about reframing or challenging thoughts; ACT is about acceptance and not letting thoughts dictate behavior.
• The technique of "defusion": Noticing thoughts without being ruled by them.

  "With ACT, we get into the practice of something called defusion...noticing that my hands are over my eyes." — Dr. Hill [18:32]

• Dan humorously summarizes:

  "The view is so much better when you pull your head out of your ass." — Dan Harris [22:59]

6. Three Things That Misdirect Our Efforts

[25:28–29:05]

• 1. Being stuck in a story (often inherited beliefs or identity from family/culture).
• 2. Avoidance of discomfort (sometimes causing bigger secondary problems).
• 3. Holding on too tightly (resisting impermanence/change).

  "...Avoiding change, trying to hold on to change, holding on too tight will lead you to engage in very unwise efforts." — Dr. Hill [28:37]

The Editorial Backbone: The Three Tasks to Cultivate Wise Effort

1. Get Curious

[31:45–36:35]

• Curiosity creates openness and interrupts self-judgment, sparking movement out of stuck places.
• Curiosity about personal strengths or "genius energy":
  • Everyone has individual strengths shaped by temperament, interests, emotional intelligence, and abilities.
  • Caution: Our unique strengths can also create problems if misapplied or under-applied.

  “When you get the combination of your genius and your values and you have a little wisdom in there, then all of a sudden the world opens up…” — Dr. Hill [35:04]

2. Open Up

[51:00–57:34]

• Open your mind (question if your stories/assumptions are true).
• Open to feelings (be with discomfort instead of avoiding).
• Open to your wise self (seek internal/external wisdom — from mentors, nature, ancestors, body awareness).
• Open to change — Practice variability and new approaches (“get unstuck button”):

  “…Human behavior is that we have a tendency to do the same thing, just harder, until…we give up. We need variation to evolve.” — Dr. Hill [61:32]

Radical Acceptance

[63:34–68:55]

• Acceptance isn’t resignation but “riding the wave” of difficult emotions/realities to see clearly and act intentionally.
• Acceptance of inner experience is required even if you don’t approve of outer realities (e.g., climate change).
• Grief and action can co-exist.

  “We practice writing it…get on the wave and watch it rise...then we notice it, most of the time comes back down again. That is riding the wave of acceptance.” — Dr. Hill [64:33]

3. Focus Your Energy

[69:10–82:23]

• Direct energy according to what matters most in the present moment.
• Sometimes that means scaling back, other times narrowing in or broadening your view (like adjusting a camera lens).
• Usefulness of energy focus for relationships, body, work, creativity.

Defusing from Depleters

[71:40–77:51]

• Recognize both energizers and depleters (in people, situations, even pets!).
• If you can't avoid a depleting person/situation, examine your own unhelpful stories and choose wise responses.
• Dan gives a candid example of his cat as a “depleter.”
• Re-orient attention, behavior, and priorities to align with values like love and kindness, even amid annoying circumstances.

Body—The "Yes, Yes, Thank You, Thank You" Practice

[78:22–80:43]

• Walking meditation where each step is paired with “Yes,” “Thank you”—a gratitude-centered approach to reconnecting with and appreciating the body.

  “When we think about wise effort in the body, oftentimes we’re relating to our body not from a yes stance or a thank you stance. We’re relating to it from like a control stance or disconnected.” — Dr. Hill [78:44]

• Drawing wisdom from Buddhist practices like the Five Remembrances: Awareness of impermanence as a motivator for wise living.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Dan Harris on burnout reality:

  “I still feel shame about the fact that I still struggle with being overwhelmed, overloaded, over scheduled…” [00:47]

• Diana Hill on the utility of values:

  “…Values is really the cornerstone of act. It’s what sets ACT apart from a lot of therapies in that we spend a lot of time clarifying values. …I see values as verbs and adverbs of how you are showing up in your day.” [44:27]

• On radical acceptance:

  “Can you open to and be with this intense experience that you are having right now without trying to make it go away?” — Dr. Hill [64:06]

• On the energy of love:

  “If you want something that’s energizing, invest in love. That’s better than any workout plan you can find on the planet. Love will energize you instantly." — Dr. Hill [76:12]

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [06:22] – Defining Wise Effort
• [10:39] – Rocks in the Jar metaphor & the privilege of saying ‘no’
• [13:44] – ACT basics explained
• [25:28] – Three misdirectors of effort
• [31:45] – First Task: Get Curious
• [34:07] – Genius Energy defined
• [42:57] – How genius can become a problem
• [44:27] – Role of values; values as verbs
• [51:00] – Second Task: Open Up (mind, feelings, self, change)
• [63:34] – Radical Acceptance
• [69:10] – Third Task: Focusing Your Energy
• [71:40] – Depleters & reframing reactions
• [78:22] – “Yes, yes, thank you, thank you” practice; Five Remembrances

Final Reflections

• Wise effort is not about doing less or achieving more—it is about conscious, values-aligned action regardless of circumstances or privilege.
• Curiosity, openness (including radical acceptance), and focused energy are the three key steps to transform overwhelm and burnout.
• Practices like diffusion from unhelpful thoughts, identifying energy depleters/energizers, gratitude, and wise application of individual strengths can counter stress and foster resilience.

Resources Mentioned

• Wise Effort: How to Focus Your Genius Energy on What Matters Most by Dr. Diana Hill (wiseeffort.com)
• Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)
• Buddhist Eightfold Path (esp. wise effort)
• The Five Remembrances
• Plum Village / Thich Nhat Hanh
• Walking meditation: “Yes, yes, thank you, thank you”

For further learning and guided practice, visit the episode page for a related meditation by Dr. Christiana Wolf.