10% Happier with Dan Harris

Episode: Seth Meyers On: Handling Performance Anxiety, Managing the Inner Critic, Hacks for Better Conversation, and Staying Joyful in Dark Times

Release Date: January 16, 2026
Guest: Seth Meyers
Host: Dan Harris

Episode Overview

This episode features Seth Meyers, host of Late Night with Seth Meyers and former SNL cast member, discussing how he maintains joy and sanity in the rapid-fire news environment of late night television. The conversation dives into performance anxiety, the management of the inner critic, practical hacks for better conversation, and strategies for staying resilient and joyful—even in tumultuous times. The episode blends comedic insights with real-world self-help, providing a humanizing look at Myers’ journey and offering lessons on emotional health, leadership, and parenting.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Demands and Joys of Late Night Comedy

• Drinking from the “Fire Hose” of News:

  • Seth describes the challenge of being immersed in the relentless news cycle, likening hosting late night TV in modern times to “drinking out of the fire hose.”
  • Distinguishes between being plugged in at work and intentionally unplugging at home, focusing on family and non-news digital time.
  • Quote: “Am I part of the fire hose? I am, but I try not to get too caught up with it…when I'm in the office, I'm paying very close attention to what's going on in the world. And then when I'm out of the office, I try to focus on being a part of a operational family.” (05:55)

• Balancing Joy with Seriousness:

  • Seth explains the importance of maintaining a sense of joy and fun on the show, even when tackling difficult or dark news.
  • Comedy is used as “release valve”—providing both laughter and a sense of shared resilience for viewers.
  • Quote: “Maintaining joy is a really important piece of strength to have, because when people take your joy away, that's a good sign that you've lost.” (08:04)

Performance, Anxiety, and the Inner Critic

• Surviving SNL and Dealing with Self-Doubt:

  • Seth recounts his early years at SNL as the most challenging period of his career, where he struggled with feeling “not quite good enough” among standout peers.
  • A memorable anecdote: accidentally punching a hole in his dressing room wall out of frustration, which his producer left unfixed as a reminder to “remember what a baby” he’d been.
  • Quote: “It wasn't that I thought, if only they saw in me what I saw in me. I was like, no, I see the same thing. It's just not quite good enough.” (13:32)

• Managing Meltdowns at Work and Home:

  • Seth credits his longtime producer, Mike Shoemaker, as his “release valve” for work frustrations, emphasizing the importance of not letting one’s mood set a negative organizational tone.
  • Parenting presents an even tougher test for patience and emotional control—his kids “just laugh at him” when he gets upset.
  • Quote: “It's harder to have children than it is to have a talk show as far as, like, temper stuff.” (18:15)

Parenting, Imperfection, and Humor

• Mining Parenting for Comedy and Self-Acceptance:

  • Seth discusses using his parenting mishaps as material while making himself the punchline, to avoid embarrassing his kids.
  • Balancing honesty about his imperfections with consideration for how his children might feel seeing his work later in life.
  • Quote: “It's very important for me to always, more often than not, make myself the punchline of the jokes when I'm talking about being a parent.” (21:54)

• Meditation and Mindfulness:

  • Both host and guest discuss the value and reality of inconsistent meditation. Seth’s perspective: “I've never done it and thought it was not positive. I just have a hard time getting in the scheduled rhythm of doing it.” (22:48)

Anxiety: From Career to Parenting

• Anxiety’s Evolving Role:
  • Seth feels his professional anxiety has diminished significantly, replaced mainly by worry for his children’s future and well-being.
  • Diversifying his career—developing skills in stand-up, writing, and podcasts—has helped manage fears of job loss or change.
  • Quote: “A lot of my anxiety just comes from being a parent, having kids that you put into the world and what the world's gonna be.” (29:43)

Performance Anxiety and the Value of Butterflies

• Stage Fright as a Positive Force:
  • Both host and guest agree some nerves before performing or big interviews are healthy—the nerves signal caring and keep performance sharp.
  • Seth shares details about how he prepares and records stand-up comedy specials, and how sometimes the “tight” (nervous) performances actually capture the best energy.
  • Quote: “Whenever I'm about to, like, go out and do something, and I don't have butterflies, that's where I feel like something's off.” (32:53)

Hacks for Better Conversation & Leadership

• Improvisation Lessons for Interviewing:

  • Seth credits his background in improv comedy for teaching him effective listening and the importance of reacting genuinely, both in performance and interviews.
  • Customizing his approach to different guests—some need more structure, others thrive on spontaneity.
  • Quote: “Being a good interviewer is, over the course of any given interview, turn into the interviewer that guest needs, as opposed to forcing them to be the kind of guests you respond best to.” (37:02)

• Reflective Listening as a Tool:

  • Dan describes “reflective listening” as a technique to manage feedback and criticism—both in interviews and in relationships—which defuses defensiveness and affirms the other party.
  • Quote: “You then learn kind of journalistically to sum up the headlines nonjudgmentally in your own words, but quickly…it calms both of us down.” (41:18)

Organizational Culture & Leadership Style

• Empowerment and Trust:

  • Seth’s managerial approach: trust people to do what they’re good at, don’t micromanage, and minimize unnecessary meetings.
  • Encourages risk-taking among writers (“big swings”) and advises against obsessing over mistakes by avoiding post-show postmortems—reflecting on issues only the next day if they still seem important.
  • Quote: “The most value I can add…is if I'm sitting in front of my computer writing jokes for the show…What I don't want to do is have a meeting about things that I really believe you guys could figure out on your own.” (42:57)

• Support from Key Team Members:

  • Mike Shoemaker (“Seth whisperer”) is praised as a deeply wise, grounding collaborator and a key figure in the show’s healthy workplace culture.
  • Quote: “He's also like a real classic New York character…really isn't impressed by any of us.” (45:45)

Friendship and Loyalty

• Importance of Friendships:
  • Seth speaks warmly of maintaining old and new friendships, crediting this as his “superpower.”
  • Adult friendships—and creative podcasts—are presented as vital for happiness and connection.
  • Quote: “I like who I am through the eyes of my friends…when you're good at being a friend, you end up with really good friends.” (46:28)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the value of collective joy:

  • Dan Harris: “If you take away the joy, you are depleting our resources to engage effectively.” (09:46)

• On feedback and being a leader:

  • Seth Meyers: “Whatever the host thinks they can get away with, everybody else thinks they can get away with.” (17:36)

• On reflective listening in relationships:

  • Dan Harris: “If I give myself the circuit breaker before I go into defensive mode of just summing up what she's said, it calms both of us down.” (41:21)

• On nerves meaning you care:

  • Seth Meyers: “Butterflies, I think…Whenever I'm about to go out and do something and I don’t have butterflies, that’s where I feel like something's off.” (32:53)

• On leadership and trust:

  • Seth Meyers: “I have no visual sense…so I endowed everybody to do your job the best you can do it, and I will not look over your shoulder. And in return, what I would love is less meetings.” (42:57)

Important Timestamps

• 05:19: Seth on facing the constant news stream and keeping perspective
• 08:04: Using joy as resilience in comedy and life
• 13:32: Discussing SNL as intense meritocracy and his self-doubt
• 15:15: Door handle incident and managing frustration
• 18:15: Comparing temperament at work vs. at home (parenting)
• 21:54: Mining parenting mishaps for comedy, mindful of his kids’ future reactions
• 22:48: Meditation practice: irregular but always positive
• 29:43: Parenting as the main source of anxiety
• 32:53: Value of butterflies before performances
• 35:09: Improv as foundation for skilled interviewing/listening
• 42:57: Leadership style—minimal micromanagement, fostering autonomy

Podcast Recommendations by Seth Meyers

• Family Trips with the Meyers Brothers:

  • Hosted by Seth and his brother; shares stories of family and humor.

• The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast:

  • With Andy Samberg, Jorma Taccone, and Akiva Schaffer; focuses on SNL memories and male friendship.

  Quote: “So much is written about how adult male friendships are withering on the vine and I just can't say it stronger. Start a podcast. It will force you to see your friends once a week and you'll be happy you did.” (47:48)

Overall Tone

The episode is open, self-deprecating, and rich in both humor and practical insights. Seth’s characteristic wit and humility make even the most vulnerable moments relatable. The tone remains supportive, nonjudgmental, and decidedly humane—offering listeners a blend of entertainment, real-life advice, and assurance that even the most public successes are accompanied by very human doubts and struggles.

For more: Check out Seth’s stand-up specials (“Lobby Baby,” “Dad Man Walking”), his children’s book (“I’m Not Scared, You’re Scared”), and his two podcasts.