Episode Summary: "Status: What It Is, Why It Matters, and How To Get It Without Driving Yourself Crazy" with Will Storr

In this enlightening episode of "10% Happier with Dan Harris," host Dan Harris engages in a profound conversation with Will Storr, the acclaimed author of six critically praised books. The discussion delves deep into the concepts of status and storytelling, exploring their roles in human behavior, societal structures, and personal well-being. Utilizing insights from Storr's latest works, particularly "A Story Is a Deal" and "The Status Game," the episode offers actionable strategies for harnessing these fundamental human drives without succumbing to their potential pitfalls.

1. The Intrinsic Power of Storytelling

Will Storr begins by asserting that storytelling is hardwired into the human brain. Unlike other animals, humans inherently perceive their lives in narrative form, complete with beginnings, middles, and ends. This storytelling instinct serves as a cultural glue, enabling individuals to connect, collaborate, and align their values toward common goals.

“Our brains are literally, you know, we're storytellers... story's fusing human brains together into one.”
— Will Storr [07:01]

From an evolutionary perspective, storytelling was pivotal in fostering cooperation among early humans, enhancing group survival. By sharing common narratives, societies could unify diverse individuals, streamlining collective efforts toward survival and prosperity.

2. Defining Status: Beyond Celebrity and Wealth

The conversation shifts to status, a ubiquitous yet often misunderstood human drive. Storr clarifies that status isn't merely about fame or wealth but fundamentally about feeling valued and respected within a community. Humans have two primary psychological needs:

• Belongingness: The desire to feel loved and accepted.
• Status: The need to feel that one offers value and is respected by others.

“Status is just this feeling that you are of value to other people, that you're offering value to the human group, to the collective.”
— Will Storr [24:59]

High status correlates with better access to resources, reduced stress, and improved health outcomes, while low status is linked to increased anxiety and susceptibility to health issues.

3. Competing for Status: The Three Games

Storr outlines three primary status competition games:

1. Dominance: An aggressive pursuit of status through power or control. Examples include corporate霸凌 or authoritarian leadership.
2. Virtue: Earning status by adhering to moral or ethical standards. This involves altruism, generosity, and adherence to societal norms.
3. Competence: Gaining status through skill, expertise, or success in specific domains like business, sports, or academia.

“There are three main ways humans essentially compete for status. I mean, there's dominance, virtue, and competence.”
— Will Storr [32:22]

Storr emphasizes the dangers of over-reliance on a single status game, advocating for diversification to maintain psychological well-being and reduce vulnerability to status-related stress.

4. Altruism as a Healthy Source of Status

Altruism emerges as a beneficial and sustainable avenue for status acquisition. Engaging in selfless acts not only enhances one's standing within a community but also fosters personal fulfillment and connection. Storr highlights that altruistic behaviors are inherently rewarding, both socially and psychologically.

“When we do good, generally people respect you more, they offer you status. That's your reward for doing the good thing.”
— Will Storr [40:51]

However, he cautions against pathological altruism, where excessive self-sacrifice leads to neglecting personal needs. Balancing altruistic endeavors with self-care ensures that altruism remains a positive force in one's life.

5. The Role of Mindfulness in Managing Status Drives

Mindfulness is presented as a valuable tool for navigating the complexities of status. Contrary to some beliefs, Storr argues that mindfulness doesn't eliminate the ego but rather enhances awareness of one's status-related impulses. This heightened self-awareness allows individuals to make conscious choices about how they seek and respond to status.

“Understanding what social media is and why it's addictive, that alone can be quite powerful because it makes you see that the likes, they don't really matter.”
— Will Storr [63:49]

Mindfulness aids in detaching from external validations, fostering internal metrics of worth that are less susceptible to societal pressures and fluctuations.

6. Navigating Social Media: A Slot Machine for Status

Social media platforms are dissected as modern arenas for status competition, often designed to be addictive through mechanisms akin to a slot machine. The unpredictable rewards of likes, shares, and comments keep users engaged and continually seeking validation.

“On social media, we're always gambling with our status. It's built into the platforms. Likes, retweets. There are so many ways of measuring status.”
— Will Storr [62:25]

Storr advises awareness and intentionality in using social media, suggesting strategies like reducing one's moral sphere and focusing on personal behavior rather than critiquing others. This approach can mitigate the negative impacts of social media on one's self-esteem and mental health.

7. Balancing Self-Interest and Altruism

The conversation concludes with an exploration of the interplay between self-interest and altruism. Storr posits that many altruistic actions inherently serve personal interests by providing social rewards and internal satisfaction. However, he underscores the importance of balancing these motivations to prevent altruism from becoming a tool for status manipulation.

“The idea that we should feel guilty when we feel good about ourselves and we do something altruistic or selfless I think is wrong.”
— Will Storr [49:13]

By embracing altruism as a means of genuine contribution, individuals can achieve meaning and worth without the detrimental effects of status obsession.

Key Takeaways

• Storytelling is a fundamental human trait that fosters connection and cooperation.
• Status encompasses the desire to feel valued and respected, influencing both psychological and physiological well-being.
• Engaging in multiple status competition games—dominance, virtue, and competence—can lead to a more balanced and fulfilling life.
• Altruism serves as a healthy source of status, promoting social connection and personal satisfaction.
• Mindfulness enhances awareness of status-driven impulses, enabling conscious decision-making regarding status pursuits.
• Social media amplifies status competition, necessitating strategic and mindful usage to preserve mental health.
• Balancing self-interest and altruism is crucial for maintaining personal well-being and meaningful contributions to society.

Notable Quotes

• “Our brains are literally, you know, we're storytellers... story's fusing human brains together into one.”
  — Will Storr [07:01]

• “Status is just this feeling that you are of value to other people, that you're offering value to the human group, to the collective.”
  — Will Storr [24:59]

• “When we do good, generally people respect you more, they offer you status. That's your reward for doing the good thing.”
  — Will Storr [40:51]

• “On social media, we're always gambling with our status. It's built into the platforms. Likes, retweets. There are so many ways of measuring status.”
  — Will Storr [62:25]

Further Resources

• Will Storr’s Website: willstorr.com
• Books by Will Storr:
  • The Heretics – Explores encounters with extremists and the psychology behind belief.
  • Selfie: How We Became So Self-Obsessed and What It's Doing to Us – Investigates the cultural shift towards self-focus.
  • Stumbling on Happiness – Examines the elusive nature of happiness (Note: Verify correct titles as per actual bibliography).
  • The Status Game – Analyzes how status influences human behavior and society.
  • A Story Is a Deal – Focuses on the power of storytelling in personal and professional contexts.

For listeners keen to dive deeper into the intricate dance between status, storytelling, and human psychology, Will Storr's works offer a comprehensive exploration of these enduring themes.