Stop Arguing With Reality | Bonus Meditation with Sebene Selassie

Summary

Podcast Summary: 10% Happier with Dan Harris

Episode Title: Stop Arguing With Reality | Bonus Meditation with Sebennay Selassie

Host: Dan Harris
Guest: Sebennay Selassie, Meditation Teacher and Integral Coach

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Introduction

In this bonus episode of 10% Happier with Dan Harris, Dan welcomes listeners to a special meditation session focused on the concept of hope. Recognizing that hope can often be misunderstood or misapplied, Dan brings in Sebennay Selassie—a seasoned meditation teacher, integral coach, and indigenous-focused therapy practitioner—to guide listeners through a transformative meditation experience.

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Guest Spotlight: Sebennay Selassie

Sebennay Selassie is introduced as a multifaceted practitioner with expertise in meditation, coaching, and therapy for complex trauma. Additionally, she is a New York State licensed hiking guide and runs a subscription service called Ancestors to Elements. Her diverse background equips her with a unique perspective on mindfulness and acceptance, making her an ideal guide for today’s meditation on hope.

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Core Theme: Understanding Hope

Sebennay delves into the intricate nature of hope, challenging the conventional notion that hope involves arguing with reality. She posits that true hope isn't about resisting or wishing things were different but about accepting and trusting life as it unfolds.

Notable Quote:

"We may come to practice seeking positive transformation for ourselves and the world, but first we must learn to allow things just as they are."
— Sebennay Selassie [01:15]

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The Paradox of Meditation

A central paradox Sebennay explores is that while meditation is often pursued as a means to achieve positive change, the foundation for such transformation lies in genuine acceptance. By allowing reality to be as it is, individuals can create the space needed for meaningful growth.

Key Insights:

• Acceptance Over Resistance: Learning not to be in contention with reality allows for a smoother path to personal and collective transformation.
• Trusting Life Moment to Moment: Embracing each moment without judgment fosters a deeper sense of peace and resilience.

Notable Quote:

"Genuine acceptance lays the foundation for transformation."
— Sebennay Selassie [01:25]

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Guided Meditation Session

Sebennay leads listeners through a structured meditation aimed at cultivating trust and acceptance. The session is meticulously designed to help individuals:

1. Settle In: Find a comfortable position, close eyes if desired, and relax the body.
2. Connect to Sensations: Become aware of bodily sensations without attempting to change them.
3. Observe Resistance: Acknowledge any tension, tightness, or critical inner dialogue without pushing it away.
4. Expand Inquiry: Ask oneself, "What's happening in my body right now?" followed by "Can I allow this experience? Can I trust this experience?"
5. Appreciate Life's Complexity: Recognize and appreciate the continual flow of sensations, thoughts, and emotions.

Notable Instruction:

"Just noticing that resistance is an essential step here."
— Sebennay Selassie [02:45]

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Practical Applications

Sebennay emphasizes that trusting reality doesn't equate to passivity. Instead, it empowers individuals to engage with life from a place of acceptance, making conscious choices aligned with their true selves. This approach helps reduce anxiety, increase resilience, and foster healthier relationships.

Notable Quote:

"You can be aware of whatever is happening and learn to trust it all. How amazing is that?"
— Sebennay Selassie [05:50]

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Conclusion

Dan wraps up the meditation session by thanking Sebennay and encouraging listeners to explore more of her work through Ancestors to Elements on Substack. He also highlights additional resources available on the Happier app for those interested in furthering their meditation practice.

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Final Thoughts

This bonus episode serves as a profound reminder that true hope is rooted in acceptance and trust rather than resistance. Through Sebennay's guided meditation, listeners are invited to shift their perspective, embracing life’s realities to pave the way for genuine transformation and happiness.

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Additional Resources:

• Ancestors to Elements: Sebennay Selassie’s subscription service [Link in Show Notes]
• Happier App: Access more meditations [Download Links in Show Notes]

Listen Early and Ad-Free: Join Wondery+ via the Wondery app, Apple Podcasts, or Spotify [Link: https://wondery.com/links/ten-percent-happier-with-dan-harris]

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Survey: Dan invites listeners to share their thoughts by completing a short survey at wondery.com/survey.

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This summary encapsulates the essence of the episode, highlighting the key discussions, insights, and practical guidance offered by Sebennay Selassie. Whether you’re new to meditation or seeking to deepen your practice, this episode provides valuable tools for cultivating a more accepting and hopeful outlook on life.

Transcript

[Dan Harris]

Wondery subscribers can listen to 10% Happier early and ad free right now. Join Wondery plus in the Wondery app or on Apple podcasts. It's the 10% Happier podcast. I'm Dan Harris. Hey everybody. Time for a bonus meditation. Today we're talking about hope, which is a tricky concept and can be, I think, deployed unwisely. But you're in good hands today with our meditation teacher, Dujour Sebaneng Selassie, who says hope is not about arguing with reality, which is the way it's often sold to us. A little bit more about Seb before we get started. She's trained as a meditation teacher, an integral coach, an indigenous focusing oriented therapy for complex trauma practitioner, and she's a New York State licensed hiking guide. I should also say she's got a great subscription service going on Ancestors to Elements. You should check that out. I'll put a link in the show notes. Here we go now with Sebennay Selassie.

[Sebennay Selassie]

Hey there, this is Sebennay. Maybe you've noticed a central paradox of meditation. We may come to practice seeking positive transformation for ourselves and the world, but first we must learn to allow things just as they are. Genuine acceptance lays the foundation for transformation. I like to think of this as learning not to be in contention with reality. Another way to say that is trusting life moment to moment. Let's try it together. Find a way to settle in that's comfortable for you wherever you are. You can close your eyes if you'd like, or keep them open with a relaxed gaze. Allow the body to naturally soften anywhere that feels tight or tense. Trusting life as it is begins by trusting the body and all its sensations. Let's begin by connecting to the sensations of the body. What sensations are you feeling right now? You can even ask yourself, what's happening in my body right now? There's no right answer. Simply notice what's here, making space for whatever is happening. Remember, we are learning to allow each sensation as it is, simply noticing and trusting what is happening. Sometimes what we notice is the very resistance we're hoping to release. There may be tension or tightness in the body you don't like. Or maybe you already hear a critical voice telling you that you can't do this. Just noticing that resistance is an essential step here. So great job. Rather than being in contention with any of this, try letting yourself feel it in your body without pushing it away, allowing everything to be here. You can trust this too. Now let's try expanding the inquiry, asking what's happening in my body right now and adding, can I allow this experience? Can I trust this experience? Go ahead and give it a try on your own. As we finish this meditation, take another opportunity to appreciate how incredible life is. This changing cascade of sensations, thoughts, emotions. You can be aware of whatever is happening and learn to trust it all. How amazing is that? You can open your eyes now and reconnect to your surroundings as we end this meditation. Thanks for practicing trusting life with me. I'm wishing you really well.

[Dan Harris]

Thank you. Sebonnay don't forget to check out her substack Ancestors to Elements. Just search her name on substack and you'll get it. I also put a link in the show notes. Also, you can find more meditations like this one over on the Happier app. Just download the app wherever you get your apps to get started. If you like 10% happier and I hope you do, you can listen early and ad free right now by joining Wondery plus in the Wonder App or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondery.com/survey.