Podcast Summary: 10% Happier with Dan Harris Episode: Why Am I Like This? | Glennon Doyle and Abby Wambach
Release Date: May 9, 2025

In this deeply introspective episode of 10% Happier with Dan Harris, host Dan Harris engages in a candid conversation with bestselling author Glennon Doyle and two-time Olympic gold medalist Abby Wambach, alongside Glennon's sister, Amanda Doyle. Together, they delve into personal struggles, family dynamics, and the journey toward self-awareness that culminated in their collaborative book, "We Can Do Hard Things."

1. Introduction and Background

Dan Harris opens the conversation by highlighting his kinship with self-help authors who openly acknowledge their ongoing personal challenges. He introduces Glennon Doyle and Abby Wambach, emphasizing their individual successes and their collaborative efforts through their podcast and latest book.

Notable Quote:

• Dan Harris [00:36]: "Glennon Doyle and Abby Wambach are each stars in their own right... And together with Glennon's sister Amanda, they host a huge hit podcast called We Can Do Hard Things."

2. Personal Struggles and the Birth of "We Can Do Hard Things"

The trio shares a period of simultaneous personal hardships, including Glennon's struggle with anorexia, Abby's unexpected loss of her brother, and Amanda's breast cancer diagnosis. These collective challenges spurred them to compile wisdom and insights, eventually leading to their book project.

Notable Quotes:

• Glennon Doyle [07:40]: "We started collecting little glimmers of wisdom for each other. And then that sort of turned into this exploration of collecting glimmers of wisdom in all these different categories."
• Amanda Doyle [08:32]: "It's been a hell of a couple years for the three of us collectively... it was the precipice and the beginning of us actually thinking about and creating this book."

3. The Impact of Trauma and Dissociation

Glennon reflects on how intense stress and anxiety can create a sense of dissociation, making it difficult to access inner wisdom during challenging times. The conversation explores how trauma affects cognitive functions and the ability to recall personal insights when most needed.

Notable Quotes:

• Glennon Doyle [09:42]: "When we are going through a hard time... when we need wisdom the most... that's when it's hardest to access."
• Abby Wambach [13:29]: "When you're in a state of stress or anxiety, the amygdala fear center of the brain is firing. And definitionally, when that's firing, the rational part can't."

4. Family Roles and Attachment Theory

The discussion delves into how family dynamics and early life roles shape individual behaviors and responses in adulthood. Glennon shares her experience of being labeled the "sick one" in her family, leading to her sister becoming the family's "hero." This segmentation hindered open communication and healing within the family unit.

Notable Quotes:

• Glennon Doyle [35:40]: "Why am I like this? It is the question that I ask myself the most all day, every day."
• Abby Wambach [55:11]: "People who feel unworthy will often hook up with people who make them feel like they're taking a test all the time, that they're destined to fail."

5. The Possibility of Personal Change

Abby emphasizes the potential for change through self-awareness and understanding one's tendencies. Glennon discusses her efforts to prevent passing on unhealthy behaviors to her children, acknowledging the difficulty of altering deeply ingrained patterns.

Notable Quotes:

• Abby Wambach [44:31]: "Once you know what your tendencies are, they're more tractable."
• Glennon Doyle [41:13]: "I think there's hope. I feel a little bit different than I was at the beginning of recovery."

6. Reflections on "White Lotus"

The guests share their thoughts on the latest season of the television series "White Lotus," drawing parallels between the characters' struggles for authenticity and their own personal journeys toward self-acceptance and presence.

Notable Quotes:

• Glennon Doyle [27:07]: "That's what I want. I want to admit that there's no safety and just... live amongst other people who are also swirling and spinning and living."
• Abby Wambach [29:47]: "Meaning. I don't have to force the meaning. All I have to do is be present at this table."

7. Conclusions and Final Thoughts

Wrapping up, Glennon, Abby, and Amanda reaffirm the importance of continual self-examination and the willingness to confront uncomfortable truths about oneself. They acknowledge that personal growth is an ongoing process, even for those who author self-help books or lead public lives.

Notable Quotes:

• Abby Wambach [56:17]: "Once you know what your tendencies are, they're more tractable."
• Amanda Doyle [44:11]: "In the curiosity of whether or not we can change, that's the first step."

Key Takeaways:

• Collective Struggle and Support: Personal hardships can serve as catalysts for collaborative growth and the creation of meaningful work.
• Trauma’s Cognitive Impact: High stress and anxiety levels can hinder access to inner wisdom, emphasizing the need for supportive relationships.
• Family Dynamics Influence Behavior: Early family roles significantly shape adult behavior patterns and self-perception.
• Potential for Change Exists: Awareness of one's tendencies is the first step toward meaningful personal transformation.
• Authenticity Over Perfection: Embracing imperfection and presence is more fulfilling than maintaining a facade of control and perfection.

This episode offers a profound exploration of personal identity, the influence of upbringing, and the relentless pursuit of self-improvement, providing listeners with relatable insights and encouragement for their own journeys toward resilience and authenticity.