1001 Radio Crime Solvers – Episode Summary

Episode Title

500 Santas from Mexico and Some Enchanted Carhop
Show: Jeff Regan, P.I.
Host: Jon Hagadorn
Date: December 10, 2025

Episode Overview

This holiday-themed episode features two classic detective stories starring Jeff Regan, “the Lion’s Eye”:

1. 500 Santas from Mexico
2. Some Enchanted Carhop

Both mysteries are set in the golden age of radio and brim with hard-boiled banter, Christmas atmospheres, and twisty detective intrigue. In the first, Regan investigates a murder tied to a batch of imported Santa Claus figurines with a deadly secret. In the second, a mystery unfolds around a carhop receiving anonymous gifts, an overprotective guardian, and a web of deception just before Christmas.

Story 1: 500 Santas from Mexico

Main Plot

Regan is hired by seductive taxi dancer Lorna Lee Lovely, who claims she needs to find her missing husband, Judd Brown, to claim insurance money before Christmas. Soon, Regan discovers the case has less to do with true love and more with pearls, murder, and Mexican Santa Claus figurines.

Key Discussion Points & Plot Events

1. The Case Begins – Lorna’s Christmas Request

• Regan is recruited by his boss, The Lion, to help Lorna Lee Lovely at the Rose Ballroom.
• Lorna claims her husband, Judd Brown, is missing and possibly dead. She wants proof for an insurance claim.
• Lion: “An opportunity to help out a poor girl in distress. Jeffrey, get her the insurance money before the holiday.” (02:01)

2. Lorna’s True Colors

• Regan learns that Lorna’s real name is Lorna Brown, and Judd was a part-time Santa at a department store.
• Lorna offers extra money if Regan indeed finds Judd "dead".
  Lorna: “There’s a hundred more in it if you find him. Dead.” (03:53)

3. Meeting Judd Brown – The Truth Unravels

• Regan is tailed by someone and after a confrontation, the pursuer reveals himself as Judd Brown.
• Judd is not Lorna’s husband, barely knows her, and works as a department store Santa to support his studies as a chiropodist.
• Judd claims someone – possibly Lorna and an accomplice (“Felipe”) – is trying to kill him. Judd: “I never saw her till this week... I think they meant to kill me.” (06:47–07:23)

4. A Connection with Mexican Santa Figurines

• At Jensen’s Department Store, Regan learns about small pottery Santa Claus figurines imported from Mexico, one of which was broken. It was given to Judd.
• Lorna and Felipe are searching for this specific broken Santa.
• Store Employee: “The Santa Clauses are imported by the La Paz Importing Company... She said she was a representative.” (12:11)

5. Murder and Motive

• Newspapers report Judd Brown found murdered with the broken Santa nearby. Regan deduces there’s more to the figurine.

6. Smuggling Scheme

• The Lion theorizes smuggling (possibly narcotics); Regan suspects something more valuable. The Lion: "Marijuana, Jeffrey, in the Santa Claus?" (14:52–14:56)
• Regan finds the figurine stuffed with pearls worth $60,000, smuggled from La Paz.

7. Climactic Showdown

• Lorna and her partner try to force Regan to hand over the Santa/pearls. The true killer is revealed as Thorne, the Sunrise Motel owner, not “Felipe” as believed.
• After a struggle, Regan subdues Thorne and turns Lorna and the pearls over to the police.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Regan, on Lorna: “Like my boss, the lion, said it got you into the Christmas spirit early... but what it got Judd Brown into was the morgue.” (00:44)
• Regan’s hard-boiled witticism: “Lorna Lee Lovely was what you wanted to wake up and find under your Christmas tree all right. Only not too close to the branches. It’d be a fire hazard.” (02:19)
• The Lion’s classic fat-wittedness: “Wind tunnel with a cigar in the middle.” (02:34, 24:19)

Important Segment Timestamps

• Meeting Lorna at the Rose Ballroom: (02:37–05:46)
• Judd Brown confrontation in alley: (05:45–07:23)
• Department store Santa origin mystery: (11:37–13:09)
• Discovery of Judd’s murder: (13:18–13:45)
• Santa Claus smuggling theory: (14:44–14:56)
• Final showdown with Lorna and Thorne: (21:32–23:35)
• Case wrap-up with The Lion: (23:35–24:41)

Story 2: Some Enchanted Carhop

Main Plot

Regan is hired by prosperous Ward Hamilton to find out who’s been sending anonymous gifts to Mary Winter, a carhop with a rocky relationship to men. The case winds through eccentric suitors, a fake psychologist, and Hamilton’s own sinister motives.

Key Discussion Points & Plot Events

1. A Christmas Client with an Agenda

• Hamilton says Mary is “strange” and needs help. She’s receiving daily anonymous presents.
• Hamilton’s true concern is financial—he’s tired of paying for a counselor to “fix” Mary’s disinterest in men.
• Hamilton: “The more delay in cure, the more it costs. Frankly, Mr. Regan, I'm tired of the obligation.” (31:23)

2. The Watchers and the Threats

• Mary is skittish and scared; a nervous man (Smith) and a heavyset man with a gun lurk near her apartment.
• Regan: “It looked like it was gonna be a real holiday season. Brotherly love all over the place.” (36:28)

3. The Human Relations Counselor

• Regan visits Mr. Farthing (real name, Howard Farnham), a “human relations” quack involved in extortion schemes.
• Farthing pleads ethics but gives himself away with his shifty behavior.

4. The Gifter Revealed

• Ernest Smith, the trench-coated introvert, is the anonymous benefactor. He likes Mary from afar, having seen her in Farthing’s waiting room.
• Smith: “I’ve never met Mary Winter. Is that abnormal, Mr. Regan? Oh, dear, dear. Perhaps I’m sicker than Mr. Farthing told me.” (42:17)

5. Hamilton’s Game

• Hamilton, far from being protectively paternal, wants to keep Mary isolated and under his control, using Farthing to manipulate her and sideline rivals.
• He turns violent when exposed.

6. Showdown and Christmas Resolution

• Regan exposes Hamilton’s scheme to both Mary and the police, after subduing him during a confrontation.
• Smith and Mary connect in the end—Regan spies them at the drive-in, ordering together.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Regan, about Hamilton: "You convinced the girl she couldn't trust any man in the world. But you should have been the other way around. You're the one she couldn't trust." (49:54–50:11)
• Mary Winter’s dry final line: “She said, with or without onions? Merry Christmas, Lion.” (53:35–53:40)

Important Segment Timestamps

• Lion’s Christmas spirit & client briefing: (26:40–28:38)
• Ward Hamilton's description of Mary & motives: (29:17–31:44)
• Smith revealed as the secret admirer: (40:42–43:01)
• The final confrontation with Hamilton & Farthing: (48:18–51:41)
• Christmas denouement & Lion's carol: (52:21–54:05)

Tone & Style

• Classic hard-boiled: Snappy dialogue, dry sarcasm, and world-weariness abound.
• Humor: Deadpan one-liners and jabs between Regan and the Lion.
• Seasonal setting: Christmas, holiday melancholy, and festive backdrops contrast with the criminal underworld.

Summary Takeaway

This double-feature blends holiday cheer with classic noir. “500 Santas from Mexico” spins a twisty tale of smuggling pearls in Christmas figurines and ruthless pursuit. “Some Enchanted Carhop” uses loners, psychos, and manipulative guardians to comment on loneliness and connection, all wrapped in sardonic festive wrapping. Both demonstrate Jeff Regan’s skill as a detective—quick on the draw, but quicker with wit.

Standout Quotes

• “There were 12 Santa Clauses that had pearls in that ship... worth $60,000 bucks. The broken Santa Clauses had the pearls. They weren’t ever supposed to get into the store. But one got away and Jud Brown got it.” – Lorna Lee Lovely (18:59–19:11)
• “It started when a guy named Ward Hamilton hired the lion and me to find out who was sending packages to a carhop named Mary Winter. I met a little guy with an umbrella and a big guy with a gun and a human relations counselor who called himself Mr. Farthing.” – Jeff Regan (40:06)
• “You like big dill?” – Lorna Lee Lovely (18:29)
• “She said, with or without onions? Merry Christmas, Lion.” – Jeff Regan (53:40)

For Listeners Who Missed It

This episode is a festive plunge into the world of dangerous dames, criminal Santas, and lonely hearts, all resolved (as always) by Jeff Regan’s classic detective grit—with a side of holiday irony.