1001 Radio Crime Solvers — Jeff Regan, Private Investigator:

"Little Man’s Lament" & "Two Little Sisters"

Original Broadcast: December 7, 2025
Host: Jon Hagadorn

Episode Overview

This episode of 1001 Radio Crime Solvers brings listeners two suspenseful, wisecracking adventures of "Jeff Regan, Private Investigator": "Little Man’s Lament" and "Two Little Sisters." In true golden-age radio style, Regan is drawn into two cases filled with eccentric characters, sharp banter, and twisted motives. “Little Man’s Lament” is a Gothic family tale with a dangerous undercurrent, while “Two Little Sisters” delves into carnival intrigue and a murder among performers. Both tales highlight noir’s love of misfits, misdirection, and a detective who can’t resist the scent of trouble.

Story 1: "Little Man’s Lament"

Main Theme

A wealthy, decaying family fears a murderer among their own — but the truth is stranger, and deadlier, than paranoia suggests. Regan is hired to prevent a killing, but soon finds himself sifting through lies, eccentricities, and a dastardly plot.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Margate Family’s Eccentricity and Threats (03:01 - 10:51)

• Regan’s boss, “the Lion,” pushes him to take a case for the odd Margate family.
• Margaret Margate, her nephew (Hillary), and niece (Gwendolyn) all live in the crumbling Margate Mansion. Family ties are more rotten than the garden weeds.
• Mrs. Margate fears for her life, suspecting Hillary is brewing poison for her tea:

  “Yesterday, I noticed the odor of almonds in my tea...Hillary brewed that tea, Mr. Regan. My nephew.” — Mrs. Margate [10:45]

2. Meeting the Suspects (05:58 - 13:21)

• Regan encounters the awkward and fragile Gwendolyn, who worries for her own safety.
• Hillary, found at a shooting gallery, jokes about hiring Regan to stop a murder — namely, his own intended murder of his aunt.

  “I think there’s going to be a murder...Yes, my aunt...Who’s gonna kill her? I am.” — Hillary Margate [12:12]

3. A Trail of Fear and Lies (14:13 - 18:25)

• Regan is tailed and attacked by a mysterious bruiser with squeaky shoes.
• Gwendolyn reveals she fears she is the real target:

  “It's me they’re going to kill. Don’t you see? They’re going to kill me.” — Gwendolyn [17:45]

4. The Case Turns Deadly (18:25 - 23:33)

• The Lion informs Regan that Hillary has been found shot dead.
• Gwendolyn mentions Hillary had been reading a book about plants, now vanished, hinting at a deeper connection to their gardener, George Hendricks.

5. Unmasking the Gardener (24:36 - 25:56)

• Hendricks reveals his real name is Freehold Quincy Margate, another family member with a criminal record.

  “The name, it isn’t Hendricks, it’s Margate. Freehold Quincy Margate.” — George Hendricks [25:30]

• He’s been forced to stay silent due to blackmail.

6. The Fiery Climax and Revelation (28:00 - 29:07)

• Regan interrupts a confrontation as Mrs. Margate and her henchman try to burn evidence in the garden.
• The true family business is uncovered:

  “...where the fire had been was a nice pile of Exhibit A. It looked just like an ordinary plant, but the police call it Marijuana.” — Jeff Regan [28:45]

Notable Moments & Quotes

• Biting Black Humor:

  “You can talk about a thing like that when I’m here to present you with a golden opportunity — a chance to lift one who's in trouble.” — The Lion [04:06]
  “Try Vigoro.” — Regan’s deadpan suggestion for the family’s problems [04:44]

• Cynical Summing Up:

  “She was scheduled to turn up poison, and I was supposed to testify Hillary had done it. Only Hillary caught on too fast and they gave him a bullet for his trouble.” — Jeff Regan [29:07]

Story 2: "Two Little Sisters"

Main Theme

A carnival’s star knife-thrower, Dolly Zamanski, is threatened by a shadowy figure from her past. When a blackmailer is murdered, Regan finds himself in a maze of sibling rivalry, love triangles, and professional jealousy beneath the big top.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Carnival Characters and a New Case (34:54 - 39:01)

• Lion introduces Regan to Everybody’s Happy Pastime Carnival, whose proprietor is troubled.
• Dolly Zamanski — “Queen of the Blades” — is being harassed by the mysterious Rand, dangerously affecting her act.
• The Swami, a drunken fortune teller, hints he knows more than he lets on.

2. The Zamanski Sisters (40:15 - 41:47)

• Regan meets Mary Zamanski, Dolly’s younger, less worldly sister.
• The sisters’ history and Dolly’s romantic entanglements (with wealthy Harold Pine and supposedly with Rand) are teased.

  “They looked alike, but they were about as much alike as a sheepdog and a cobra.” — Jeff Regan [34:54]

3. Murder in the Trailer (42:19 - 44:41)

• Rand is found dead with a knife in his back; Mary confesses but seems confused and frightened.

4. Following the Clues — Photo Evidence and the “Swami” (45:16 - 49:13)

• Regan discovers Dolly was once married to Rand, and possibly still is.
• A crucial Variety clipping from Rand’s suitcase links Dolly and a man named Duncan as once being a knife-throwing act.

5. Revelations and Confrontations (51:02 - 60:32)

• Dolly married Harold Pine, but perhaps never truly divorced Rand, potentially committing bigamy. Her “divorce” timelines don’t add up and threaten scandal.
• Regan discovers the Swami is really Harry Duncan, Dolly's former act partner and jilted lover.
• The killer is revealed:

  “The knife went past, took some air that belonged to me and stuck in the tent pole.” [59:08]
  “So the swami killed Rand. That’s what I figured wrong. If Mary didn’t stick around, it had to be a toss job. Somebody had to toss that knife through the trailer window. Somebody professional.” — Jeff Regan [60:08]

6. Restoring Order and Aftermath (61:11 - 62:33)

• The jilted, drunken Duncan killed Rand to avenge his lost love.
• Dolly’s marriage to Pine is invalid—but Mary and Pine find solace in each other.
• The Lion, ever the dramatic, mourns his lost fees and the “poetic” ending.

Notable Moments & Quotes

• Carnival Sibling Rivalry:

  “Their names were Zamanski — Mary and Dolly Zamanski. They worked for the Everybody’s Happy Pastime Carnival shows... They looked alike, but they were about as much alike as a sheepdog and a cobra.” — Jeff Regan [34:54]

• Twisted Resolution:

  “You let your sister take the fall and kept your trap shut because you were scared of what he knew... Your divorce is no good. When you married Harold Pine, you weren’t divorced from Rand.” — Jeff Regan [59:38–59:55]

• Bleak Banter with the Lion:

  “There's nothing in it for you.” — Regan
  “No, Jeffrey, I suppose not. But I can dream, can’t I?” — The Lion [62:33]

Key Timestamps for Important Segments

| Timestamp | Segment & Key Events | |-----------|---------------------| | 03:01 – 10:51 | Margate family backstory, growing tensions, Regan warned of ‘poison’ | | 11:43 – 13:21 | Hillary’s ominous request for Regan to prevent a murder (confesses intent) | | 17:43 | Gwendolyn reveals her own fears of being killed | | 18:25 – 23:33 | Discovery of Hillary’s murder, the mystery of the missing book | | 25:30 | George Hendricks reveals his true identity as a Margate | | 28:45 | Marijuana operation revealed as motive for murder and mayhem | | 34:54 – 39:01 | New case at the carnival, sisters and Swami introduced | | 42:56 – 44:41 | Rand’s murder, the confession, and police investigation | | 49:10 | Lion fires Regan (temporarily) for sticking to the case out of principle | | 59:08 – 60:32 | Final confrontation, killer unmasked as Harry Duncan (the "Swami") | | 62:17 | Lion’s mock-sentimental reflection on the happy couple’s “millions” |

Overall Tone & Style

The tone is hard-boiled, fast-paced, and laced with dark humor. Regan’s narration keeps the audience one foot ahead of the action, matching classic noir wordplay — sardonic, cynical, but not without compassion for those caught up in the mystery.

Quote examples:

• “You’re fired.” — The Lion, before quickly relenting [50:13]
• “You can have the end of the turkey I've been getting.” — Regan, griping about payment [30:30]

Summary

"Little Man’s Lament" and "Two Little Sisters" are quintessential examples of Golden Age radio’s blend of moody atmosphere, convoluted plotting, and pulpy, comic dialogue. Jeff Regan, Private Investigator tackles two cases suffused with eccentric characters, twisted motives, and deep family or romantic betrayals. In the end, murder conceals criminal enterprises (from poison to marijuana), misguided love leads to disastrous choices, and Regan, ever the lonely-eye, solves the puzzle, even if the only reward is a laundry token.

For newcomers, this double-feature captures the essence of radio noir: snappy dialogue, quirky suspects, and a detective who’s both streetwise and sentimental.