MASQUERADE and RUNAWAY FROM MURDER MR. AND MRS. NORTH

Summary

1001 Radio Crime Solvers: "Masquerade" & "Runaway from Murder"

Podcast: 1001 Radio Crime Solvers
Host: Jon Hagadorn
Date: May 10, 2026
Starring: Mr. and Mrs. North (Richard Denning and Barbara Britton)

---

Episode Overview

This episode features two back-to-back mysteries from the classic radio detective series "Mr. and Mrs. North":

1. Masquerade – An art forgery turns deadly, pulling the Norths into a world of jealousy, deception, and murder among Manhattan’s cultural elite.
2. Runaway from Murder – A romantic cruise becomes a deadly game when an alleged honeymoon covers up secrets and a murderer stalks the decks.

The Norths, with Pam’s sharp curiosity and Jerry’s steady intellect, unravel tangled motives and expose killers—all while trading their trademark witty banter.

---

Segment 1: "Masquerade"

Theme: Art fraud, murder, and obsession with legacy.

1. Setting the Scene — [01:01–02:29]

• Introduction to Pam and Jerry North:
  "They're not cops, not private eyes, and certainly not looking for trouble. But trouble has a way of finding them." – Host Jon Hagadorn (01:01)
• The story opens at midnight on 57th Street in NYC. Margaret confronts her husband Philip Jonas in the Jonas Art Gallery over his lateness and artistic ambitions.

2. The Cocktail Party & the Rosa Painting — [04:02–06:20]

• Thea Dennison, an acclaimed authoress, celebrates her new book with a crowd that includes the Norths and caustic critic Sidney DeWitt.
• Conversation gets heated over Thea’s recent $40,000 acquisition: “Death of a Leader” by Salvatore Rosa.
• DeWitt questions its authenticity:
  “As I recall, the original Rosa painting titled Death of a Leader was destroyed by bombs in World War II.” – Sidney DeWitt (06:06)

3. The Confrontation and a Deadly Night — [07:03–08:21]

• At Thea’s, DeWitt tests the painting and exposes it as a forgery, humiliating Thea.
• Thea calls her dealer, Philip Jonas, to confront him:
  “I want you to come over here immediately. I have a pompous toad of a man named Sidney DeWitt with me who claims that I am a fool and you are a thief.” – Thea Dennison (07:48)
• The Norths leave. Later, DeWitt is found murdered in the elevator.

4. Police Investigation & Denials — [08:54–12:14]

• Lt. Bill Wagon brings in the Norths for questioning. They recount the argument over the painting.
• Thea, now deflective and glib, denies all:
  “The last painting I bought was a pin up on a 1944 calendar. I scribbled a moustache on it and sent it to the USO.” – Thea Dennison (10:23)
• The painting itself is missing from her apartment.

5. The Dealer’s Guilt & Descent — [13:05–21:56]

• Philip Jonas admits the painting is a forgery, agonizing about living a lie.
• He confesses to his wife Margaret that all his gallery’s successes were due to his own forgeries, not real masterpieces.
• In a moment of rage and desperation, Jonas confesses to Margaret:
  “I gave up my identity just to please you. The names belong to others, the techniques belong to others. But the painting is mine. It's my life.” – Philip Jonas (20:40)
• He reveals that he killed DeWitt to protect his secret, and turns murderous toward Margaret.

6. The Climax — [22:16–24:02]

• The Norths, police, and Dr. Berger of the City Museum confront Jonas at the gallery.
• Jonas, cornered, kills Margaret and tries to shoot his way out, but is fatally gunned down by police.
• Lt. Wagon reflects:
  “Well, he's dead...I think this is the way he wanted it.” – Lt. Bill Wagon (24:00)

7. Aftermath & Thea’s Fate — [25:10–25:46]

• Thea, now in jail as a possible accessory, shows remorse—but keeps her wit: “Tell me, Jerry, how’s my book selling?” – Thea Dennison (25:41) “Well, bless my little criminal heart...on your way out, be a doll and tell the jailer to throw away the key. It's good for business.” – Thea Dennison (25:46)

---

Segment 2: "Runaway from Murder"

Theme: Infidelity, betrayal, and a cruise-ship killing.

1. The Setup: Troubled Goodbyes — [28:07–29:59]

• New York lawyer Walt Harmon breaks off an affair with Aline Sheridan, aiming for a judgeship and reconciliation with his wife, Judy.
• Threats and violence ensue; Walt murders Aline in a fit of panic:
  “No one will ever connect me with you. Aline, we've never been seen in public together...Walt, in the name of heaven...” – Walt & Aline (29:19–29:59)

2. A Cruise With Secrets — [30:35–33:07]

• Walt and Judy pose as “honeymooners” on a ship to Trinidad, joined at dinner by the Norths.
• Awkward tension between the Harmons is palpable. Cruise director Mr. Meekin displays signs of paranoia and alienation.

3. Uneasy Romance & Repetition — [33:13–37:08]

• The Norths privately discuss Walt Harmon’s over-eager marital performance.
• Late at night, Judy confronts Walt about “Elaine Sheridan.” Walt feigns ignorance as Judy recounts the mysterious woman’s inquiries at her salon.
  “Who's Elaine Sheridan? ...She's been asking about me at my beauty parlor...” – Judy Harmon (36:45–37:12)

4. Port of Trinidad – A Fatal Excursion — [38:15–41:42]

• On a sightseeing tour, Judy sees a New York paper mentioning Walt for a judgeship, and possibly a report of the Sheridan murder.
• Judy’s sudden headache and desire to return to the ship signals suspicion.
• Walt’s demeanor grows more menacing: “Maybe it'll come to you...Aline Sheridan. Elaine Sheridan.” – Walt Harmon (41:12)

5. Murder Uncovered & Accusations — [43:00–47:08]

• Judy is soon found dead at Pitch Lake. Cruise director Meekin is accused and detained.
• The Norths dig deeper. Meekin pleads innocence and claims it’s Walt who’s guilty. He reveals he was a steward on the Harmons' earlier “honeymoon” cruise:
  “They weren't on their honeymoon, Mr. North...I know, because I was a room steward at the time.” – Mr. Meekin (45:28)
• The bartender corroborates Walt’s drink order history, tying him to a previous trip.

6. Pam’s Parallel Investigation — [47:08–48:01]

• Pam independently calls Lt. Wagon in New York, investigating Walt and Judy’s marriage date, sensing something “off.”
• She is ambushed mid-call and cut off.

7. The Docks: Final Showdown — [48:17–49:49]

• The ship is searched; Pam and Walt are discovered under the dock, where he’s trying to drown her; Jerry rescues Pam, and Walt is apprehended.

8. Resolution & Banter — [50:01–51:05]

• Jerry celebrates Pam’s survival with a touch of humor: “Except for a little cold in the nose. Maybe that'll keep her from sticking it where it doesn't belong.”
• Lt. Wagon quips right back:
  “That's what I like about you, Jerry. You're always the optimist.” (50:17)

---

Notable Quotes

• "You keep telling me I do so well as a dealer. But...all we own, all our successful respectability, comes from my paintings." – Philip Jonas [20:02]
• "My life, Margaret. It's all I've been able to salvage from you. A man will kill to protect his own life." – Philip Jonas [21:04]
• "The sales began to zoom the day you were arrested." – Jerry North to Thea Dennison [25:42]
• "When a man makes such a public display of his affections...he must be trying to hide something." – Pam North [34:09]
• "You missed me. What are you doing ashore, Purser?" – Jerry North (44:12)

---

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Masquerade opening & background: 01:01–03:05
• Cocktail party & art dispute: 04:02–06:20
• Revelation of forgery & murder setup: 07:03–08:21
• Police interrogation & painting missing: 08:54–12:14
• Dealer’s confession and double murder: 13:05–21:56
• Jonas's final standoff: 22:16–24:02
• Aftermath in jail: 25:10–25:46
• Runaway from Murder opening & murder: 28:07–29:59
• Shipboard suspicions: 30:35–34:09
• Showdown in Trinidad: 41:42–49:49
• Comic resolution: 50:01–51:05

---

Overall Tone and Style

Light, sparkling banter overlays deadly intrigue and psychological complexity. The Norths’ marriage is affectionate but sharply witty—Pam’s irrepressible curiosity matched by Jerry’s patience. Motives are explored empathetically, without melodrama; even the killers are presented with tragic depth.

---

For Listeners New and Old

This episode offers a clever blend of art-world intrigue and cruise-ship suspense. Without graphic violence, it nonetheless probes human desperations—validation, recognition, and forgiveness—amid clever dialogue and crackling radio theater atmosphere. The Norths remain as engaging as ever, making crime-solving sound like a grand adventure, even when the cost is heartbreakingly real.

Transcript

[A]

What would you do if your online store converted 36% more shoppers? You could take 36% more vacation.

[B]

Another pina colada? Yes, please.

[A]

Open a new retail location with 36% more square feet.

[B]

Fantastic. Hire 36% more help. You're hired and you're hired.

[A]

Shopify has the world's best converting checkout up to 36% better than other e commerce platforms.

[B]

What you do with those extra sales

[A]

is up to you. Switch to Shopify [e-mail] setup and get a $1 trial.

[B]

Shopify.com setup Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile. I don't know if you knew this, but anyone can get the same Premium Wireless for $15 a month plan that I've been enjoying. It's not just for celebrities. So do like I did and have one of your assistant's assistants switch you to Mint Mobile today. I'm told it's super easy to [e-mail]

[A]

Switch upfront payment of $45 for 3 month plan equivalent to $15 per month Required intro rate first 3 months only, then full price plan options available, taxes and fees extra. See full [e-mail] welcome back everyone to

[B]

1001 Radio Crime Solvers. This is your host and storyteller, John Hagedorn. In tonight's episode, you're going to meet Pam and Jerry North, New York's most charming accidental detectives. They're not cops, not private eyes, and certainly not looking for trouble. But trouble has a way of finding them. With Pam's quick wit and boundless curiosity and Jerry's steady good natured logic, the Norths stumble into mysteries hidden behind cocktail party chatter, apartment house doors and the everyday rhythms of city life. Light hearted, clever and full of sparkling banter, Mr. And Mrs. North brings a fresh twist to radio crime. A married couple who solve murders with humor, heart and just enough danger to keep you leaning in. The first of our two episodes tonight is called Masquerade. Enjoy. Look out, Bill. I'm all right. Get back, you two. Get back. Do you hear me? Get back. Mr. And Mrs. North, starring Richard Denning and Barbara Britton. Listen as Pam and Jerry solve the mystery collector's item. It's almost midnight on New York's 57th Street. The street is dark except for the one light burning in the rear of the Jonas Art Gallery. The street is silent, deserted except for the clicking of a woman's heels. Now we hear her pounding on the door of the Jonas Gallery.

[A]

Philip. Philip, open up. Philip, let me in. Do you hear? Philip, I. Well, nice of you to Bob.

[B]

Come in, dear. Come in. Come in. You wake up the dead.

[A]

I suppose you have no idea what time it is. I suppose you forgot all about phoning me. I suppose you were so busy, the mere idea of phoning your wife.

[B]

Right, Margaret, I did forget.

[A]

Just too much trouble for you. Always too much trouble for you.

[B]

All right, Margaret. All right.

[A]

What were you doing? Painting. Again?

[B]

Yes. You want to see it?

[A]

No. And of course, you can't possibly take two minutes away from painting a picture to phone me and tell me you'll be late.

[B]

Margaret, I get so little time to do any painting.

[A]

Oh, Philip, we've been over this a thousand times. You're an art dealer now, not an artist.

[B]

I could have been an artist for

[A]

the life of me, Philip, I don't know why you insist on trying to paint. You're making a fine living as a dealer.

[B]

All right, Margaret, forget it, please.

[A]

You're doing well. Just look at that Rosa painting.

[B]

What about that rosa painting?

[A]

A $40,000 sale. Who was it that bought it?

[B]

Thea Dennison.

[A]

Oh, of course. The authoress. $40,000. You meet fascinating people. You make good money. What did you difference does it make whether you sell pictures or paint them? Art is art, isn't it?

[B]

Yes, Margaret, art is art. Let's go home.

[A]

Really, darlings, I'm utterly devastated by all this. Utterly devastated. Jerry. Jerry, sweet. What have I done to deserve a party like this?

[B]

Well, when Thea Dennison writes a new book, the publishers like to celebrate, so we're celebrating.

[A]

Nevertheless, I simply can't make myself believe I deserve so much fuss and bother.

[B]

And frankly, Thea, neither can I. Oh, yes.

[A]

Sydney, dear, how are you?

[B]

Fine, thank you, Thea. Good evening, Jerry. I am.

[A]

Hello, Sidney.

[B]

Evening, Sid. Delightful party. Jerry. My compliments.

[A]

And from our town's most caustic critic, that is a compliment.

[B]

Oh, then you read my review of your book.

[A]

Let's not get into a literary discussion.

[B]

Not at all. Let's discuss Thea's book.

[A]

Mr. DeWitt. Mr. Sidney DeWitt. I am fed to the teeth with your snide remarks in prints and in conversation.

[B]

Tell me, Thea, have you bought any new paintings recently?

[A]

Yes. Yes, Jerry, I have. Sidney, in regard to your review of my novel. Do you collect paintings, Thea? Yes, of course I do, Sidney. I'm fascinated by the great masters. What artists do you have, Thea? Well, just last week, I picked up a glorious oil by Salvador Rosa.

[B]

Rosa, huh. Italian, 17th century, gloomy landscape. Well, are you interested in art, too, Sydney? I was. Art Critic of my paper for seven years.

[A]

And I suppose you don't approve of Rosa.

[B]

Oh, on the contrary, love. Rosa's work impresses me greatly. Which one did you buy?

[A]

Something from his early period. It's called Death of a Leader. An absolute stage deal at $40,000.

[B]

$40,000 for death of a Leader?

[A]

The title is intriguing. I'd like to see it. A good idea. Let's go right now.

[B]

Oh, you can't leave now, Thea.

[A]

Don't be absurd, Jerry. As guest of honor, I can do anything. Pam. Jerry, get your coats. Go on. Come on. We'll go to my place, have a drink, look at the paint. Really, Thea, another time would be better. Right now the Denison impulses are at work, dear.

[B]

Thea's right. I think we should go right now.

[A]

I don't recall inviting you, Sidney.

[B]

Your poor taste again, Lyle. But I'll tolerate a visit to your home for a look at a Rosa painting. If it is a Rosa painting.

[A]

What do you mean, if it is a Rosa painting? What do you think? I paid $40,000 for a tattoo?

[B]

Tattoo might have been a better investment. I thought you were a Rosa fan. Sydney. As I recall, the original Rosa painting titled Death of a Leader was destroyed by bombs in World War II.

[A]

You're out of your mind. I wrote the check for it just last week. I'll show you the painting on my wall.

[B]

And if I'm not out of my mind, dear heart, probably out $40,000.

[A]

Well, children, what do you think of it? It's magnificent, Thea.

[B]

The man was a master, all right.

[A]

And you, Sydney? Anything profound to say?

[B]

I agree. The man is a master, all right. And so was Rosa.

[A]

What are you talking about?

[B]

The original Rosa painting was destroyed during the bombing of Italy. Here, look at this.

[A]

What are you doing? Stop scratching that.

[B]

A painting 300 years old. Would flake much more readily under a fingernail. Thea, my love. Not only are you a mediocre writer, but as an art collector, you're a fool. And as a businesswoman, you're a sucker.

[A]

Of all the unctuous, supercilious, vapid and. One moment. Just. Just. Just one moment. Jerry, let's get out of here.

[B]

The party's getting rough.

[A]

We'll see who the fool really is.

[B]

If you're phoning Salvador Rosa, he's been dead for three centuries.

[A]

I'm calling my art dealer, a man I trust, respect and admire. If Philip Jonas tells me that. Hello? Hello, Philip? Philip, this is Thea Dennison. Never mind all that. I know it's late and I'm not sorry. I want you to come over here immediately. Immediately, do you hear? I have a pompous toad of a man named Sydney DeWitt with me who claims that I am a fool and you are a thief.

[B]

Looks like you have an argument on your hands.

[A]

Sydney, I want you over here immediately. Thea, would you excuse us? It's getting awfully late.

[B]

Oh, stay. By all means, stay. Things may get bloody in a little while. Another time we'll call in for the final verdict.

[A]

As you wish. Oh, I'm sorry the evening came to this. You've both been darlings, really. I'll phone you in the morning.

[B]

I'll get it, Pam. Hello? Morning, Jerry. Bill. Wagon. Oh, hi, Bill. How are you? Busy. I hope you and Pam haven't any plans for the day. I'm sending a squad car up for you. Well, that's. That's very nice, Bill, but we don't need a squad car, do we? You were at Thea Denison's last night, weren't you? Yes. With Sydney DeWitt? Well, yes, but. What? Well, DeWitt was found in the elevator of the building early this morning. Dead. Dead? Beaten over the head. Murdered.

[A]

And after she phoned her art dealer, Bill, we decided it was time to go. Sidney stayed and we left.

[B]

Well, now, wait a minute. Wait a minute. From what you two tell me, the main reason for going to Thea Dennison's apartment was some painting or other. That's right. Death of a Leader, it's called by. By somebody or other.

[A]

The Salvatore Rosa. 17th century.

[B]

Funny. I questioned Ms. Denison for an hour. She didn't even mention the painting.

[A]

Didn't mention it? Oh, Bill, she must have.

[B]

Excuse me a minute, Miss Denison.

[A]

This entire thing is becoming a frightful bore. You'd think nobody was ever murdered before.

[B]

Will you come into my office, Ms. Denison, please?

[A]

I prefer to speak out here in front of witnesses.

[B]

You'll have an audience in the office too. After you.

[A]

If my idiotic attorney hadn't indulged so freely at that cocktail party, I'd have some legal protection. But, Jerry. Pam, how are you? Morning, Thea.

[B]

Hi, Thea. Sorry about this. Sit down, Miss Denison, please.

[A]

I imagine this chair is wired. Just throw the switch, Lieutenant.

[B]

I'm ready, Ms. Denison. Pam and Jerry have given me an account of the evening in your apartment up to the time they left. Will you describe the events from that moment?

[A]

Events? There were no events. Sydney stayed on for a few moments only because he had a fresh drink and he's not the type to leave a full glass behind him. He finished his drink and left. I went to sleep.

[B]

Well, Thea, didn't your art dealer come at all?

[A]

What art dealer?

[B]

The way I understand it, Ms. Denison, you and Mr. DeWitt had a difference of opinion over some painting you had bought.

[A]

Painting? Thea, that painting by Salvator Rosa. The one. The last painting I bought was a pin up on a 1944 calendar. I scribbled a moustache on it and sent it to the uso.

[B]

Now, Thea, stop trying to be witty. If it weren't for that picture, Sidney Duet would still be alive.

[A]

More's the pity. Are you trying to incriminate me, Jerry?

[B]

No one is trying to incriminate anyone, Ms. Denison. We'd just like to find out. The course of events, Lieutenant.

[A]

I'd love to be able to claim full credit for Sidney DeWitt's murder. Unfortunately, I slept through it. Thea, what in the world is wrong with you? You invited us there to see that painting. You called your art dealer to prove to Sydney that the painting was worth $40,000. Thea, what's the matter with you?

[B]

All right, Pam, easy.

[A]

But, Jerry, that's why Sidney stayed on to argue with the dealer. Thea insisted.

[B]

Take it easy, Pam.

[A]

Oh, but, Lieutenant, as melodrama, this is turning into a frightful bore. May I go now?

[B]

Sure. Let's all go. I'd like to see that painting.

[A]

Good idea. What painting, Lieutenant?

[B]

The one that is or isn't in your apartment.

[A]

I doubt if any of my paintings are worth battling over. The Grant Wood is good, but that Picasso reproduction. That's where it was. But where the Picasso is now, Pam, darling, you're becoming somewhat disgusting.

[B]

It was there, Bill. Describe that painting for me, will you, Jerry? Sure. It was large, about half again the size of that Picasso. It was called Death of a Leader, painted by Salvatore Rosas, a moody kind of a thing. Showed a riderless horse nuzzling the body of a fallen bandit. Big hulking mountains and storm clouds all around.

[A]

It's so nice to know my friends. Insist upon calling me a liar in front of the police. You're welcome to search the place, Lieutenant.

[B]

Oh, no, no, it's all right. I'm Sorry about this, Ms. Denison.

[A]

But, Bill, we.

[B]

Skip it. You need us anymore, Bill? Oh, no, no, no. Not now. But stay in town, though. I may need another version of your story. Hello?

[A]

This is Thea Denison.

[B]

Oh, Good. Good morning, Ms. Denison.

[A]

What's good about it? I've been Hauled down to police headquarters. I've been hauled home. I've been questioned, badgered and insulted, to say nothing of being swindled out of $40,000. I want to see you, Mr. Joe.

[B]

Ms. Denison, immediately.

[A]

And you'd better have my $40,000 clutched in your hot little hand.

[B]

You. You said nothing to the police about the fenting?

[A]

No. Because I'm more interested in getting my money back than in seeing you rot in jail. But if I don't get it back right away, I'll see to it.

[B]

I'll have to call you back. Ms. Denison? In here, Margaret.

[A]

I came downtown to do some shopping, Philip and I. Della, is something the matter? You look as if.

[B]

I'm all right. Just. Just tired.

[A]

Well, is it any wonder when you stay up all night painting? Philip, when are you going to get over this ridiculous idea?

[B]

Shut up.

[A]

Well, I must say I'm sorry.

[B]

Margaret. Margaret, listen. Something is the matter. The painting, the one I sold to Thea Denison, the one I thought was a Salvatore Rosa.

[A]

Thought was?

[B]

It's turned out to be a forgery, a fake.

[A]

A fake? How do you know?

[B]

Never mind. But you just listen to me, Margaret. Ms. Denison is demanding that I return the money she paid for it.

[A]

Well, I should think she would.

[B]

$40,000.

[A]

Margaret, do we have it?

[B]

Yes, we have that.

[A]

Well, then just give it to her.

[B]

If we give it to her, it's going to mean going on here running the gallery for the rest of my life.

[A]

O. Did you have other plans?

[B]

Yes. Margaret, let's go away.

[A]

Go away?

[B]

Close the gallery, sell it, give it away. Lock the door and leave if we have to.

[A]

But are you out of your mind?

[B]

Margaret, if I'm ever going to really paint, if I'm ever going to do anything of my own, I have to do it now. This is my chance. My last chance. Margaret. Margaret, will you come away with me?

[A]

No. I've never heard anything so preposterous. A man your age.

[B]

Margaret, can't you understand?

[A]

Understand what? That you want to steal $40,000, throw our lives away and rush off somewhere to indulge your stupid, childish obsession to be a painter?

[B]

All right, Margaret. Forget.

[A]

Good afternoon. May I help you?

[B]

Uh, yes. We're looking for Mr. Jonas. Mr. Philip Jonas.

[A]

Oh, I'm terribly sorry. Mr. Jonas has been out of town for a week now. Out of town? But I'm Mrs. Jonas. Is there anything I can do?

[B]

Funny. He should be out of town. One of your customers, Thea Dennison, mentioned that she talked to him last night.

[A]

That's strange. He's been in Boston on business. I'm sure you misunderstood, Ms. Dennison. Is there anything special? We're rather interested in Italian art, 17th century. We understand you have some paintings of that period. No, none that I know of.

[B]

Mind if we look around the gallery?

[A]

Well, we're closing very soon.

[B]

We won't be long.

[A]

Oh, there's nothing over there that you care about. Oh, we're just browsing. These paintings aren't for sale. They. They should have been put away. That's why they're stacked.

[B]

Well, we were just.

[A]

I'm sorry. They're not for sale. If you'll excuse me, I'll take these. Jerry, the canvas on the bottom.

[B]

I saw it, Pam. Mrs. Jonas, that bottom canvas, the unframed one you're holding, that's a Rosa, isn't it?

[A]

I. I wouldn't know. My husband knows it. Sure it is. It's death of a leader. I'd know it anywhere.

[B]

Who bought this one? Mrs. Jonas. Maybe we can outbid him.

[A]

No, no, not this one. It's. It's not for sale. My husband has promised it to the city museum, and you know how museums are. Well, if the museum changes its mind, we'd be interested. Yes. Yes. All right. Thank you. Do come in again. Not so fast, Jerry. Gonna lose me in this museum?

[B]

Dr. Berger's a busy man, darling, and we're late for our appointment.

[A]

The curator of a museum should know the value of infinity. Time shouldn't matter to him. Hey, have a heart.

[B]

Steady, girl. Now, that's his office over there.

[A]

Well, thank goodness for that.

[B]

Come in. Oh, Mr. North. Come in, come in. Oh, thank you, Doctor. Sorry we're late. Had a little taxi trouble. Don't worry about it. When you deal with the immortality as I do, you begin to realize that our moments on earth are mere tits in eternity.

[A]

There, you see? Darling.

[B]

Yes, dear? Doctor, have you met my wife? Shant? Indeed.

[A]

How do you do? Doctor, Jerry has spoken of you very

[B]

often ever since you wrote the preface to that art book we published. Of course, of course. Sit down, please. Now, what can I do for you? Another preface, perhaps? No, not this time. Doctor, we'd like some information. Can you tell us anything about Salvatore Rosa? Rosa. Did he ever do a painting called Death of a Liter? Death of a Liter? Death of a. Too bad. A momentous piece of work. Completely destroyed. Are you sure it was destroyed, Doctor? Afraid so. Members of our own staff here tried to patch the pieces together hopelessly. Why do you ask? What would you say if we told You. That painting is right here in New York at the Jonas Gallery. Here. Death of a leader.

[A]

We saw it, Doctor, just a few hours ago. That's why Jerry called you.

[B]

Well, I. I can't quite believe that. I'm afraid I'd be forced to call the painting. You saw a fake forgery. Would anyone pay $40,000 for a forged painting? It's been done. Art forgeries have fooled experts, Mr. North. Frequently. They fooled the very artists who painted the originals. And lately there's been much of this form of forgery in this part of the world.

[A]

Would you like to see the one at the Jonas Gallery?

[B]

Indeed I would. If what you say is true, it's an absolute counterfeit. Well, then, let's get. Now wait. Maybe we'd better call bell wagon. Would you mind if we brought a police officer with us, Doctor? My dear Mr. North, I heartily recommend it.

[A]

Philip, stop this foolish ranting and raving. You're acting like a child. I told them you were out of town. I lied for you. What more do you want?

[B]

I wanted that painting destroyed. Now they've seen it. Margaret. I didn't want anyone to see it.

[A]

Well, if you didn't run and hide when they came in, you could have taken care of them.

[B]

That's not the point.

[A]

What more do you want of me? They didn't buy the painting. I told them it wasn't for sale. I told them a pack of lies to protect you. And still you act like I've thrown you to the wolves.

[B]

You don't understand. You never understand. You never understand anything about me, do you?

[A]

Philip, you're upsetting yourself.

[B]

Of course I'm upsetting myself. I didn't want anyone to see that painting.

[A]

Please stop shouting. You want to be heard in the showroom? Suppose a customer comes in.

[B]

Wish you try to understand. If you'd only try.

[A]

What are you so worried about? You've taken a forged painting off the market. Why feel guilty about it? It's not your fault. That accounter for painting was.

[B]

Yes, Margaret, it is my fault.

[A]

What? What did you say?

[B]

Where do you think these fakes come from? Who paints these counterfeit masterpieces? Someone must imitate the masters, Margaret.

[A]

Well, yes, I know.

[B]

Someone must do it. Someone capable of immortality must paint his heart out imitating the immortals instead of being one. Pooh. Margaret, who could be doing that? Tell me, Philippa. I am my doing it. Your respectable, successful, art dealing husband.

[A]

You.

[B]

You keep telling me I do so well as a dealer. But tell me, what paintings do I sell? What paintings have made me so successful.

[A]

Philip.

[B]

I can't believe my paintings have done it. Margaret.

[A]

Mine.

[B]

My paintings sold for fabulous prices. Sold under the names of great artists Bearing their names, their techniques. But nevertheless, my paintings. You didn't think I could paint. You did everything possible to keep me from painting. But look, all this, all we own, all our successful respectability comes from my paintings.

[A]

But to deliberately counterfeit them, to force.

[B]

No one has known, Marcus. Been my personal secret, my private joke against you, against the whole art world, against myself.

[A]

But you can't continue doing this. No, of course not. I. I won't permit it. It's illegal. I won't have a husband of mine.

[B]

Listen to me, Margaret. I gave up my identity just to please you. The names belong to others, the techniques belong to others. But the painting is mine. It's my life. Do you understand that?

[A]

Philip, we. We should have a long.

[B]

No, you don't understand that. You never understand.

[A]

I understand one thing, all right. I won't let you go on breaking the life.

[B]

My life, Margaret. It's all I've been able to salvage from you. A man will kill to protect his own life.

[A]

Now, that is the most stupid remark I've ever.

[B]

I mean it. I've done it once, but my life was certain. I'll do it again. Last night I killed a man. A man named Sidney DeWitt. I didn't know him. I'd never seen him before. But I had to kill him because he was going to destroy my life. Just the way you are, Margaret.

[A]

Stay away from me, fellow.

[B]

I'm going to kill you too.

[A]

Oh, come back here. Let me go.

[B]

It's your life of mine, Margaret.

[A]

Stop. Stop. You choking me.

[B]

The way it's been for 20 years. Your life of mine. Now we have to decide, Margaret.

[A]

Once and for all.

[B]

Once and for all. Well, the place seems deserted.

[A]

There must be somebody around. Bill?

[B]

Hello? Anybody here?

[A]

Oh, here's someone so I should keep you waiting.

[B]

Gentlemen. Madam. You're Jonas, aren't you? Oh, yes.

[A]

I thought you were in Boston. Your wife said you were in Boston just a few hours ago.

[B]

Oh. Oh, yes. Well, I just got in rather unexpectedly. Mr. Jonas, this is Dr. Berger of the City Museum. How do you do, sir? And this is Lieutenant Wagon of Homicide. Homicide? What. What's this all about? We're interested in a painting, Mr. Jonas. A painting called Death of a Leader, which you might have sold to a Ms. Thea Denison. I. Ms. Denison is a customer here. But I haven't sold any such painting.

[A]

Evidently not. Your wife Showed it to us when we were here earlier.

[B]

I think you must be mistaken. Now, look, we can't be that mistaken that often. We saw the painting here a few hours ago. We saw it hanging on Thea Dennison's wall last night, and we know. I'm terribly sorry, but that painting has. Would you mind if I looked around, Mr. Jonas? Look around? You mean search the gallery? If you don't mind. Well, I, I, I certainly do mind. You're, You're a police officer. I'm a private citizen. I'm entitled to my rights. After all, Mr. Jonas, I have a search warrant. Now, if you'll let me. Stay out of there. You can't go back there. Let go of me. Jonas. Stop me. Jonas.

[A]

Go back there.

[B]

Jonas. Jerry. Dr. Burger. Hang on to him. Come here, Jonas. All right, now stop. You can't go back here. What the devil are you trying to. Holy Good Lord.

[A]

Oh, Jerry.

[B]

It's. It's my wife. And you killed her. Yes. Yes, I killed her. I took her life because she'd taken mine. What she wouldn't let me paint, neither canvases of my own or the forgeries I resorted to to give her the money and respectability she wanted. She. She took my life as surely as if she'd run a knife through my heart. Now, if I may get something out of the drawer of this. Just a minute, Mr. Jonas. Look out, Bill. He's got a gun. Jonas. Stand back, Lieutenant. And the rest of you, don't you move either, and no one will get hurt. Now, excuse me. Jonas. Jonas, stop. Stop. Look out, Bill. Get back. Get back, all of you. Jonas, put down that gun or I'll. Oh, you're what? Lieutenant, you're not leaving me any choice. Jonas, you'll hit him. Come on. Just be careful. Well, he's dead. Yeah. Crazy fool. The way he was standing right out here in the middle of the gallery. He should have known he didn't have a chance. I think he did. I think this is the way he wanted it. In here. You have 15 minutes. Hello, Sia.

[A]

Oh, you see? Well, my erstwhile publisher and Frau. Pull up a bail bond and sit down.

[B]

I'm sorry about all this, Thea. If there's anything we can do.

[A]

Don't be a fool, Jerry. It's done. They're holding me as an accessory before the fact or after the fact or during the fact or whatever. Why didn't you speak up when you had the chance, Thea? Instead of protecting that. That killer? The one time in my life that I kept quiet when I should have talked. I end up in jail. Tell me, Jerry, how's my book spelling?

[B]

Oh, terrific. The sales began to zoom the day you were arrested.

[A]

Well, bless my little criminal heart. Damn sweet. On your way out, be a doll and tell the jailer to throw away the key. It's good for business.

[B]

This the united states armed forces radio service. With VRBoCare.

[A]

Help is always ready before, during and after your stay.

[B]

We've planned for the plot twists, so support is always available because a great trip starts with peace of mind. Save on family essentials at Safeway and Albertsons. This week at Safeway and Albertsons, fresh cut cantaloupe, watermelon, pineapple or melon medley bowls, 24 ounces are $5 each, and wild caught lobster tails are $4.99 each. Limit eight member price, plus selected sizes and varieties of Doritos, Lays, Cheetos, sun chips and Kettle cook chips are $1.99 each. Limit for member price. Hurry in. These deals won't last. Visit safewayoralbertsons.com for more deals and ways to save. Let me go. Let me go, you poop. Mr. North. Let him go, man. I know where your wife is, Mr. North. Where? What part of the ship? She isn't on the ship. I saw her being dragged under the dock out into the water. Mr. And Mrs. North. Starring Richard Denning and Harbor Britain. Listen as Pam and Jerry solve the mystery. Winter honeymoon. The East 64th street apartment is a perfect example of the decorator's art. Too perfect. And Aline Sheridan, the apartment's occupant, possesses the same degree of physical perfection. Yet an apparent lack of warmth robs her of real beauty. Even now, in anger, there's not one blonde hair out of place.

[A]

Sure you don't want a splash of soda in yours?

[B]

Walt, you know I never use soda.

[A]

That's right. I know all about you, don't I?

[B]

Oh, come off it, Eileen. This isn't the way you're supposed to take it.

[A]

What did you expect?

[B]

Pleasant smile, a goodbye kiss and a few kind words?

[A]

Who's the girl, Walt?

[B]

Elaine, this isn't like you.

[A]

You've never gone to the trouble of finding out what I'm like.

[B]

There's no one, believe me.

[A]

Walt. Who's the girl?

[B]

Well, if you insist on knowing. I'm going back to Judy.

[A]

Why?

[B]

Why? She's my wife, isn't she?

[A]

You must have a much better reason than that. And she'd have to have an awfully good reason for taking you back.

[B]

She'll take me back, all right.

[A]

The infallible Harmon charm. Well, it'll never work with me again. And I've got a pretty good idea that won't work with her.

[B]

You seem to know a great deal about Judy.

[A]

Oh, don't worry. She doesn't know about me. I've been very discreet. Not one of your precious friends dreams that anyone by the name of Aline Sheridan even exists.

[B]

And you can be certain it's going to stay that way.

[A]

Don't shout at me, Walt Harmon. I'm not one of the jailbirds you defend.

[B]

I'm through with the jailbirds, honey, just as surely as I'm through with you. I'm stepping upstairs. No more petty crooks or cheap racketeers. No more ambulance chasing. Next time I break into print, it'll be on the society page. Judge and Mrs. Walter Harmon were weekend guests at the estate of the honorable Maxwell Cushing.

[A]

Uh. Oh, so you finally did manage to scrape an acquaintance with Cushing.

[B]

Some very fancy scraping, Aline. He happens to be the one who was giving me the appointment. But much as the old boy sold on me, he dropped me like a hot potato. If even a hint of scandal came out about me. I know the type.

[A]

It'll be much more than a hint, Walt. I can promise you that. If you think I'm gonna let you walk casually out of here after, you're

[B]

not going to make any trouble for me. Walt.

[A]

Walt, put down that poker.

[B]

I tried to be decent with you, but you didn't want it that way.

[A]

Walt.

[B]

No one will ever connect me with you. Aline, we've never been seen in public together. No one's ever seen me come in here. Both of us have been discreet, haven't we, darling? Walt, in the name of heaven. I have worked too hard for this appointment to have a blackmailing little champ cheat me out of it. Walt. Walt. Happy? Judy?

[A]

I don't know, Walt. You're being more thoughtful and attentive than you've been in years, but. Well, there's something I. I don't know.

[B]

Well, maybe I'm trying to rush things. Four days isn't much of a trial as a jud, but I got a hunch that when we land in Trinidad tomorrow. The romance of the place.

[A]

What are all those people doing at our table?

[B]

Oh, there aren't really too many. Just the Norths, a nice young couple we met the first night out, and Ms. Reimer, who happened to be sitting near me on the deck when I invited them. Well, here they are now. Hi, Judy. Walt. Hi, everybody.

[A]

I'm glad you finally got here, Judy. I've had a terrible time keeping Jerry from opening the champagne without you. Champagne? The captain send it over. He isn't lucky enough to have a honeymoon couple aboard every trip. Oh, well, I'm afraid you're mad.

[B]

I better sit over here, Judy, darling. Might be a little drafty over there.

[A]

Oh, thank you.

[B]

How about that champagne? Well, what's the matter, Judy? You look sort of dazed, huh?

[A]

Don't start picking on it, Jerry. You know what a tropical moon does to a bride.

[B]

Oh, how should I? With us, it was the Hoboken Ferry and it was raining.

[A]

Always quibbling. Oh, quick, everyone, turn around. Pretend you don't notice him, huh? Notice who? That horrible little worm of a cruise director. He's heading this way. Every time he comes near me, I simply shudder. He's positively ghoulish.

[B]

Well, everyone having a good time?

[A]

Just wonderful, Mr. Meekin.

[B]

Oh, everything's fine. Sorry we're crowded here a bit, or we'd ask you to join us. Oh, I wouldn't dream of intruding. I just wanted to let you know there's dancing going on in the main salon.

[A]

Thank you, Mr. Meekin.

[B]

Mrs. Harmon, I was wondering if you'd do me the honor of dancing with me.

[A]

Why, thank you very much, Mr. Meekin, but I'm. I'm terribly tired. I was just about.

[B]

You don't have to make up excuses. If you don't care to dance with me, it's perfectly all right. Good night, everyone. Pardon me a second, will you, folks? Mr. Meekin. Mr. Meekin. Yes, Mr. Meekin. Maybe. Maybe it's none of my business but you sort of jumped to a wrong conclusion just now. Did I? You see, I asked Judy Harmon to dance a second before you came up and she turned me down too. Maybe. Well, maybe we both forgot for a moment that she's on her honeymoon. That wasn't why she refused to dance with me, Mr. North. She doesn't like me. People never like me. They smile and pretend to be friendly sometimes. Oh, but we like you very much. You just imagine that people don't like. It's not imagination. I've heard them talk. They think I'm small and insignificant, that I'm not suited to my job. They whisper about me behind my back. Well, no one better say it to my face. If anyone does, I'll kill them. Oh, mister, me.

[A]

Who's your first patient? Dr. North.

[B]

Pam, I didn't hear you come out. How come you left the party?

[A]

It left Me, Judy decided to go to bed, and Walt wouldn't let her take the long, dangerous trip all the way to their stateroom alone. So the festivities came to an abrupt halt.

[B]

Oh, what a terrible waste of champagne. Well, I guess we might just as well head for our cabin.

[A]

What?

[B]

I was just thinking of the call I got from Bill Wagon just before we left. You know, the poor guy was really jealous of us taking this holiday.

[A]

You never did tell me why he didn't get down to the ship to see us all.

[B]

No, he was on a case. A beautiful blonde, a woman named Helene Sheridan, I think he said, was found beaten to death with a poker.

[A]

I didn't see anything about it in the newspapers.

[B]

Well, her body was found just before we sailed.

[A]

Oh, let's not talk about it, Jerry. Did you notice anything strange about him, Bill?

[B]

No, Megan.

[A]

I was talking about Walt Harmon.

[B]

Harmon? Oh, now, what's strange about him?

[A]

Well, he just doesn't seem to act like a newlywed to me.

[B]

Are you kidding? He's the most attentive bridegroom I've ever seen outside the movies.

[A]

Well, that's just it. When a man makes such a public display of his affections as Walt Harmon does, it's obvious that he must be trying to hide something.

[B]

Oh, it's you, Mrs. Harmon.

[A]

Yes, Mr. Meatland.

[B]

I wondered who could have wandered up here at this hour. Passengers aren't supposed to be up on this deck at all.

[A]

I'm sorry. I'll go below.

[B]

No, no, it's all right. I thought you said you were tired, that you were going to bed. That was hours ago.

[A]

Well, I couldn't sleep after all. I thought maybe if I got a little fresh air, it might help.

[B]

It is nice up here, isn't it? Most passengers don't even know about this little deck. But I climb up here lots of times. It's a good place to come if something's troubling you. Something's troubling you, isn't it?

[A]

No.

[B]

Oh, foolish of me. Wasn't it foolish to think a beautiful woman on her honeymoon would have any troubles? And if she did have that, she'd want to share them with anyone like me.

[A]

Mr. Meekin, why do you insist on.

[B]

It's all right. But be careful up here, Mrs. Harmon. The sea is getting a little choppy and the rail isn't really high enough. Passengers aren't really supposed to be up here at all. Lucky thing they haven't got a crow's nest on this tub, or I never would have found you.

[A]

I'm sorry, Walt, I thought you were asleep.

[B]

I was until an hour ago. I've been searching for you ever since.

[A]

I just wanted to think things out for a little while. Walt, why did you lead all those people into believing we're on our honeymoon?

[B]

Well, I can see now that it was a crazy idea. But when I planned it, I thought maybe if everyone aboard treated you like a bride it might be easier for you to pretend.

[A]

Pretend?

[B]

That it is our first honeymoon. That was my whole idea in insisting we'd rush like crazy to catch this particular ship before she sailed. I figured same boat, same destination, same people. Maybe we could shove the calendar back five years.

[A]

I'm afraid I've forgotten how to play make believe.

[B]

Well, don't make a decision yet, Judy. Maybe I can still make you forget some of the mistakes I've made. I know I've neglected you and my anxiety to build up a good practice.

[A]

It isn't that, Walt.

[B]

Well, at least you know there's never been any other woman.

[A]

Walt, will you answer something truthfully for me?

[B]

Sure, kid.

[A]

Who's Elaine Sheridan?

[B]

What was that name you asked me about?

[A]

Elaine Sheridan.

[B]

I'm sorry, it didn't register. Am I supposed to know who she is?

[A]

She's been asking about me at my beauty parlor and I. I couldn't figure out why.

[B]

Well, maybe she wanted your endorsement on a facial.

[A]

She was a customer there. A new one. And according to my manicure, she wasn't the type to patronize a little neighborhood place.

[B]

So you thought she might have come here to, say, spy on you because she was interested in your handsome husband?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

I'm sorry to disappoint you, kitten, but I've never heard of the lady. But I might look her up when I get back if you decide you aren't picking up my option.

[A]

Well, I don't know. I don't know. I. I guess maybe I do still love you a little or I wouldn't have been jealous. I've been repeating that name a thousand times.

[B]

Maybe you better try it in your bunk instead of cotton sheep time we grab little shut eye. Tomorrow's gonna be a big day.

[A]

Oh, it's nice to be on dry land again, isn't it, Miss Robert? I don't know. I still have my seat.

[B]

Attention, everyone, please. Those wishing to go on the conducted tour of Trinidad, please report promptly to me here at the far end of the dock. We'll depart just as soon as everyone is.

[A]

Aren't we ready to leave yet, Mr. Meekin?

[B]

You don't have to Tell me what to do, Ms. Reimer. I know the duties of a cruise director.

[A]

The Travel Boulder said promptly at 7am But I suppose you won't start until your favorite passenger arrives.

[B]

I haven't any favorite passenger, Ms. Reimer.

[A]

I happen to know differently. Ah, here comes Mrs. Harman now. Are you quite ready, Mrs. Harman? Of course, Ms. Rymer.

[B]

We're set. Anytime, Mr. Meekman. Fine.

[A]

I thought you said you weren't going on the tour, Wall.

[B]

Well, I changed my mind. Judy wants to go, and I certainly don't want to get separated from her all day.

[A]

Are you sure you and Jerry won't come?

[B]

Uh, this is a vacation. Oh, Pam and I might work up enough energy to take in a couple of curio shops, but that's about it. Uh, care to take a New York newspaper along with you, Mrs. Harmon? It's from the day after we sailed. They fly them over.

[A]

Thank you. It might be pleasant at that.

[B]

Oh, we'll get along without the paper, I mean. Might as well enjoy a few days without the stock market reports and the war scams.

[A]

I'd like to look at it, if you don't mind.

[B]

No. Goes for you too, Dick Tracy. Will just have to get along without you until we get home.

[A]

Okay. Ready for our shopping spree, master? I'm sorry you're not coming with us, Pam.

[B]

Say, your expedition gets back at 4, and the ship doesn't sail till 5. Why don't we all get together for a drink? Hey, that's an idea. Suppose we meet at the Flamingo.

[A]

The Flamingo?

[B]

A little calypso joint I heard about. Supposed to be very colorful. Probably anyone in town can tell us how to fight it. Sounds okay to me. Meet you there at 4. Come on. Last fall for the official sightseeing tour of the island, including a visit to Pinch Lake, one of the wonders of the world. Having produced 5 million tons of asphalt during the last half century and having given up many amazing fossils of animals and trapped during past ages in its bubbling depth. Oh, come along, Judy. This should be very interest.

[A]

I'll be perfectly all right, Walt. You, you go back and join the others.

[B]

I wouldn't know where to find them. They're spread out all around the lake.

[A]

Well, I think most of them went up to the other end. I'm sure you can catch up with them.

[B]

Maybe, but we're due to head back toward town in half an hour, so I might as well wait and meet everyone back at the cars. Why can't you wait that long?

[A]

I told you, Walt. I Have a terrible headache. I'll find a jitney up on the road and get back to the ship by myself. I'll be all right alone.

[B]

Your headache came out suddenly, didn't it, Judy?

[A]

Yes. Yes, I guess.

[B]

Just after you borrowed Ms. Reimer's newspaper, wasn't it?

[A]

I suppose so.

[B]

What do you see in the paper, Judy?

[A]

Nothing. Nothing of interest. I have a headache, Walt. Why can't you leave me alone?

[B]

Maybe you saw a little item that concerned me.

[A]

Yes, I. I think there was something about your having been mentioned for a judgeship.

[B]

And then you saw another little item about a girl's death and you started to put two and two together and it gave you a headache.

[A]

I didn't see anything about anybody's death. I don't know what you're talking about.

[B]

Maybe it'll come to you. No one else would ever have connected me with a name. But you would have. You like the name, you said. So you repeated it over and over and over to yourself. Eileen Sheridan. Elaine Sheridan. Elaine Sheridan.

[A]

Lovely, isn't it, Jerry?

[B]

This little street or that scarf in the window?

[A]

Both.

[B]

Come on, let's go on in and buy the darn thing. You've been drooling over it for the last hour.

[A]

No, I won't give in to myself, Jerry.

[B]

Okay, but it's right next door if you change your mind while we're in the Flamingo.

[A]

I never change my mind. Well, hardly ever. Say, Walter was right. It is a colorful looking place, isn't it?

[B]

On the outside. I hope it isn't too doggone colorful inside.

[A]

Oh, it is attractive. And look at that quaint little native behind the bar.

[B]

Welcome to the Flamingo, ma'. Am, Governor. Native, huh? Oh, now, I wasn't exactly born on the island s but I come over more than 25 years ago. Might just as well be a night. You, sir? Well, I'll bet you can mix up a better gin and tonic than any native who ever lived. Oh, that I can, sir. And what'll it be for the lighting? Oh, something sweet. Not too strong. Right. Be back in half a mile, honey.

[A]

The almonds haven't shown up yet. It's after four.

[B]

Oh, here comes Walt now.

[A]

Alone.

[B]

Maybe Judy's next door buying their scar from under your nose. How was the trip, Wal? Oh, fine, fine. Have fun. Oh, wonderful. For once the travel folders didn't exaggerate.

[A]

Where's Judy?

[B]

Oh, she developed a son and a headache. Decided she'd be better off on the ship.

[A]

You let her go back by herself?

[B]

Well, we Were right in the middle of the tour and she insisted. She didn't want to spoil my fun. There were a lot of jitneys around. She said she'd grab one of them. Here you are, folks. Make the world seem brighter.

[A]

He wouldn't have let me go wandering around a strange country by myself.

[B]

Oh, Jake, it easy, Pam.

[A]

I'm going back to the ship and make sure she's all right.

[B]

Well, now, look, if you wait a second, I'll pay for the drinks.

[A]

I'll take care of myself. You boys take your time, but keep an eye on the clock.

[B]

Okay. I. I guess maybe Pam was right. I better head back to the ship as soon as I grab the fast one. Here you are. Stuff. Another gin and tonic for you, Seth? No, thanks. This. Take care of him. Yes, sir. Thank you, sir. Will you run along, Walt? This gives me a chance to run next door and buy something Pam's been eating her heart out for. Oh, thanks for the drink. Oh, I hope Pam doesn't stir up any trouble for you, Walt. Yeah, me too. Hey, watch where you going. Sorry, Mr. North. It's all right, you. You missed me. What are you doing ashore, Percy? I. I got a rather alarming phone call. You haven't seen a large party from the ship? No, I. I just came out of the shop. I haven't seen anyone. They were supposed to be headed this way.

[A]

Here we are. Over here. Pull to the curb, driver.

[B]

Well, I guess we'll get all the gruesome details now. Well, what's happened? Mrs. Harmon was murdered out at Pitch Lake. What?

[A]

We have the murderer, Purser.

[B]

They're all wrong, Purser. I had nothing to do with the murder. I was trying to.

[A]

Well, let someone else decide that. Mr. Meekin, he was caught red handed.

[B]

In the name of heaven. Listen to me. Wait a minute. One at a time. Ms. Reimer seems to be the head of the posse. Why don't you let her lead off, Percy?

[A]

Gladly. It was this way. Mrs. Harmon had a headache and decided to head for the road to find a jitney back to town. She'd hardly gone when Mr. Meekin left the party to follow her. Well, poor Mr. Harmon left in the first car, and then I organized a search party. We were too late to save Mrs. Harmon, but we caught Mr. Mr. North.

[B]

You? Yes. You said you liked like me. Could I talk to you alone for just a minute? Well, why not?

[A]

You be careful, Mr. North. He's a maniac.

[B]

Look, you don't believe I killed her, do you, Mr. North? I don't know. But last night you were sounding off about killing somebody or other. I was just talking. I was upset. I didn't kill her. It was Walt Harmon. Well, you think you'd be able to convince a jury that a groom killed his wife on their honeymoon? They weren't on their honeymoon, Mr. North. What? They were married five years ago. Took the same cruise that time. Walt said he'd never been to Trinidad before. They were here, all right. I know because I was a room steward at the time. I never let on I knew them because I didn't want anyone aboard to find out. I was never a cruise director until this trip. Come on. Where are we going? Just into the Flamingo here. Now. Forget something, Governor? I remembered something. I was in here a little while ago with a Mr. Harmon, right? Was that his name, sir? Well, you must have known him. You brought him a drink without asking what he wanted. Well, that's right, Governor. You come in anytime, and I'll set up a gin and tonic for you, sir. I don't often get to know me customers by nine, but I never forget what they drink, sir. The gentleman who was with you hadn't been in for, oh, four or five years. I'd say only once or twice then. But I knew he was a Scotch of rice man. No soda, thanks. Well, where are you going, Mr. North? After Walt Harmon. He left here only a little while ago, a step or two behind my wife. Hello? Hello? Say, what's going on? Who is this?

[A]

I'm trying to reach Lieutenant Wigand in Homicide.

[B]

This is Wigan. Pam?

[A]

Yes, Bill? I'm in Trinidad.

[B]

Where's Jerry?

[A]

Oh, he's probably back on the ship by this time. I sneaked off so he would know about this call. I'm phoning from a booth on the dock, Bill. But you mustn't tell Jerry I phoned. If I turn out to be all wrong about what I've been thinking.

[B]

Well, whatever it is, you better get it off your mind quick, Bill.

[A]

There's a honeymoon couple aboard. Only she's not aboard, and I don't think they're on their honeymoon.

[B]

Perfectly clear so far.

[A]

Well, I know it sounds crazy. That's why I'm trying to find out about it.

[B]

Go ahead.

[A]

Well, he said they were married last Thursday, but I just got hold of last week's papers, and there's no Harmon listed in any of the marriage notices. Yes, I thought you could check with the Bureau of Vital Statistics and see if a Walt and Judy Harmon were married sometime during the.

[B]

Ma', am. What's happened? Pam, what's wrong? Pam? Pam, can you hear me?

[A]

What's happening?

[B]

Pam? Pam.

[A]

Just how long do you expect to hold up the sailing purser?

[B]

That's not up to me, Miss Rhino. Sign of her purse. I'm sorry, mister. Not. I've had the ship combed from stem to stern, but there's no trace of Harmon or your wife. Have you tried going every place ashore? The police are looking, but. Let me go, you fools.

[A]

I've got to talk to them.

[B]

I saw them, I tell you.

[A]

I saw them.

[B]

Where, sir? Mr. North. Let him go, man. Who did you see? Macon Harmon. Mrs. North. I could see them from the little cabin they put me in. Where are they? What part of the ship? No, I saw them at the porthole that they're under the dock. He was dragging her out into the water.

[A]

Let go of me.

[B]

You'd minded your own business. Clean your head off. Mrs. North, I want to hear you. There they are, Mr. North. He's trying to get away from him. Back here. Har. You. Oh, no, you don't. What did you think you'd accomplish with this murder, Harmon? He may have a little trouble answering if you keep holding his head under water. Mister, I'd like to hold it under permanent. Here, let me handle him. You look after Mrs. North. Pam, darling, are you all right?

[A]

Yes, I. I did.

[B]

It's all right, my darling. It's all right. It's all over. It's all. Oh, you'd better get below and get those wet clothes off, man.

[A]

I'm all right.

[B]

Here, put this on.

[A]

Oh, Jerry, this guy.

[B]

Sorry to interrupt, but the international operator wants you, Mr. North. Oh, it's probably Bill calling back. There's a plug in right over here. Yeah, thanks.

[A]

Tell him I. I.

[B]

Sure, I'll give him the message. Hello, Jerry, in the name of heaven, what happened to Pam? No, she's all right, Del. Except for a little cold in the nose. Maybe that'll keep her from sticking it where it doesn't belong. That's what I like about you, Jerry. You're always the optimist. You always see the bright side. Well, it isn't hard to look at the bright side of this, Bill. You should see Pam's nose. Bright red.

[A]

Sam,

[B]

Pam and Jerry are sure to have more exciting adventures next week. Listen in, won't you? There's always mystery. Well sprinkled with humor on Mr. And Mrs. North. This is the United States Armed Forces Radio Service. And Doug, there's nowhere I wouldn't go to help someone customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual, even if it means sitting front row at a comedy show.

[A]

Hey, everyone, check out this guy and his bird. What is this your first date?

[B]

Oh, no, no. We help people customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual together. We're married. Me to a human, him to a bird. Yeah, the bird looks out of your league. Anyways, get a [e-mail] or with your local agent, Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. Marketing is hard, but I'll tell you a little secret. It doesn't have to be. Let me point something out. You're listening to a podcast right now and it's great. You love the host. You seek it out and download it. You listen to it while driving, working out, cooking, even going to the bathroom. Podcasts are a pretty close companion. And this is a podcast ad. Did I get your attention? You can reach great listeners like yourself with podcast advertising from Libsyn Ads. Choose from hundreds of top podcasts offering host endorsements, or run a pre produced ad like this one across thousands of shows. To reach your target audience in their favorite podcasts with Libsyn Ads, go to Libsyn ads.com that's L, I B S Y N ads.com today.