SWEET LARCENY and CORPSE ON THE TRAIN BARRIE CRAIG, CONFIDENTIAL INVESTIGATOR

Summary

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1001 Radio Crime Solvers

Episode: “Sweet Larceny” and “Corpse on the Town” (Barrie Craig, Confidential Investigator)

Release Date: September 21, 2025
Host: Jon Hagadorn
Stories: “Sweet Larceny” and “Corpse on the Town”

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Episode Overview

This nostalgic double-feature episode of 1001 Radio Crime Solvers transports listeners to the classic world of radio detective fiction with two full-length Barry Craig adventures: “Sweet Larceny” and “Corpse on the Town.” The show delivers a heady mix of international art theft and Broadway intrigue, all wrapped in the wry, hardboiled voice and dry humor of William Gargan as Barry Craig. Vintage radio tropes abound—psychological duels, shadowy dames, convoluted cons, and a steady undercurrent of sardonic charm.

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Story 1: “Sweet Larceny”

(Main story starts at 00:58)

Main Theme

Barry Craig is hired to safeguard a priceless cargo of Egyptian relics, but a tangle of deception, familial secrets, and grand larceny draws him into a web of international intrigue.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

A Mysterious Cablegram & The Barbary Collection

• Craig receives a cable from Oscar Melamed aboard the SS Shalimar, requesting armored truck transport for “priceless Barbary tomb relics.”
• Craig remarks on the international nature of crime:

  “With the great wide world shrinking to the size of a pretzel, crime is global...a priceless cargo of anything generally brings out the worst in people.” (01:48)

Meet Lisa Barnum—And Her Twist on Family Heirlooms

• Lisa Barnum visits Craig, revealing her family's former surname (Barbary) and the disappearance of her uncle, Dexter Barbary, an Egyptologist. She believes he was murdered for his relics.
• Craig’s skepticism about her intentions and identity is ongoing, with sharp banter:

  Lisa: “The tomb relics rightfully belong to me.”
  Craig: “So sue for them.” (09:13)

The First Double-Cross: Kidnapping & Cellar Confrontation

• Craig is assaulted by a goon (“chimpanzee”) and left in a cellar, where Lisa ‘rescues’ him.
• Their chemistry is punctuated by Craig’s dry wit:

  “Lisa, you no doubt are Lisa Bonham.” (06:23)

The Heist: The Barbary Collection Vanishes

• Despite armored cars and elaborate precautions, the collection is stolen in a machine-gun raid ((12:28)).
• Oscar Melamed proves eerily prescient:

  “Let us go [to police HQ] together and await the report of the daring theft.” (11:47)

Layers of Deception

• The real relics are hidden elsewhere; the armored truck was a decoy.
• Craig confronts Melamed about his role and questions of ownership surface—was Dexter Barbary really the legitimate possessor, or just Melamed’s employee?
• A swirl of gunmen, double-crossing henchmen, and Lisa’s own pursuit of the collection ensues.

The Con Unraveled

• Lisa sues Melamed for the relics, and Craig accuses both Lisa and Melamed of being in cahoots to hype up the relics for profit while deceiving potential buyers.
• The heroic legal claim is a ruse to drive up publicity:

  Craig: “The lawsuit against you is just more stage dressing…more bait for suckers.” (23:13)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On international crime:

  “Chase a hood across New Jersey and you’re likely to catch him in Botany Bay or in Algeria or Madagascar.” (01:48)

• Craig on women and trust:

  “Clients worry me. I always imagine they're taking my head size…So the dunce cap will fit nice and snug.” (09:42)

• On the nature of the con:

  “What you’re really selling him is a collection of newspaper headlines. The publicity has him so dazzled he won’t remember to inspect the merchandise.” (22:52)

• Craig’s exit:

  “It’s what I live for. The goodwill and admiration of my clients. After all, man doesn’t work for bread alone.” (24:03)

Key Timestamps

• 01:10 Barry’s opening philosophy on crime
• 02:49 Lisa approaches Craig
• 04:33 Craig gets knocked out, ends up in cellar
• 08:02 Lisa reveals her familial claim
• 10:23 Craig meets Melamed at the docks
• 12:28 Hijacking of the armored truck
• 14:20 Twist: the real relics hidden elsewhere
• 17:40 Goon confrontation at Craig’s office
• 19:28 Lisa begins legal maneuvers
• 22:24 Final confrontation with Melamed

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Story 2: “Corpse on the Town”

(Segment starts at 27:33)

Main Theme

Behind the scenes of Broadway, a dog dentist and theatrical investment spiral into fraud, sudden matrimony, and murder—leading Craig through a maze of showbiz corruption, old money, and gangster vengeance.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Broadway Shakedown

• Luther Bassett, canine dentist, asks Craig to investigate dubious investments in a new musical (“2055”).
• Suspicion: Producer Stanton Bishop has oversold shares—classic Broadway scam.

Confronting the Producer

• Craig finds evidence in Bishop’s ledger; Bishop has collected more investment money than production requires, with a big chunk from socialite Eloise Finchley.
• Bishop’s quick marriage to Eloise looks like a scheme to hide financial chicanery by turning her “investment” into marital property.

Murder Interrupts the Show

• Eloise is found dead in an apparent street mugging—the purse, watch, and wedding ring stolen.
• Detective Scotty and Craig are dubious, suspecting staged crime.

The Secret Life of Eloise

• Investigation reveals Eloise’s real identity is not “Finchley” but Burkey, an ex-model with humble origins.
• Where did her “investment” capital come from?
• Picture album discoveries connect her to gangster Artie Anzac—raising new stakes.

Gangland Ties and Murder Motives

• Anzac admits knowing Eloise and supporting her at times but claims indifference to her marriage.
• Craig theorizes that Eloise was fronting Anzac's “hot” money in the show investment. The double-cross: she claims the cash for herself. Bishop marries her to cover his own tracks.

Climax: Confronting the Killers

• A failed attempt on Craig’s life suggests Anzac’s reach.
• Craig dishes out psychological pressure on Bishop, tricking him into revealing that Anzac is the murderer—killing Eloise for the double-cross and to intimidate Bishop.

Justice Via Street-Smart Psychology

• Craig delivers Bishop to homicide with a signature mix of bravado and quip, leaving the case in the hands of the police.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Broadway fraud:

  “A man has 100% to sell to investors, but he sells 150%. The show opens, flops, loses its nuts. But Stanton Bishop isn’t a bit worried.” (30:31)

• Craig’s banter with showgirls and criminals:

  “Must we really be so dull, Mr. Craig, so prosaic? I'm a bride. I'm in heavenly raptures.” - Eloise (35:47)

• Scotty on Eloise:

  “She was posing as a socialite, and her maiden name, Finchley, was an assumed one.” (39:50)

• Craig diagnoses the scheme:

  “I think Eloise invested it for you … you’d had enough of that [tax evasion]. I also think Eloise double-crossed you. That she invested the money for herself … Bishop used that as leverage to make her marry him.” (45:46)

• Craig’s classic send-off:

  “A Craig promise is always redeemable in cash.” (49:37)

Key Timestamps

• 27:33 Opening of “Corpse on the Town”
• 29:04 Dog dentist Luther Bassett brings Craig into the case
• 31:18 Craig investigates the rehearsal hall
• 34:01 Bishop’s violence and quick marriage to Eloise
• 37:42 Eloise is murdered
• 39:50 The truth about Eloise’s background
• 43:39 Photographs link Eloise to gangster Anzac
• 44:51 Craig’s tense visit to Anzac
• 48:02 Craig turns up the heat on Bishop and draws out the confession
• 49:37 Case conclusion and handoff to Homicide

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Conclusion

This episode delivers a rich, atmospheric journey through two classic radio mysteries, blending international intrigue and showbiz skullduggery. Barry Craig’s sardonic asides, quick wits, and dogged pursuit of truth anchor both stories. The episode is a showcase of golden-era radio detective storytelling—fast-paced, layered with cons and twists, and rife with memorable one-liners and pulpy noir flavor.

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For fans of classic detective radio and strong, witty leads, this double-feature is essential listening.

Transcript

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[Recycling Advocate / Progressive Insurance Advertiser]

From the Cascades to PDX to your kitchen. We recycle like we live here. That's why governments, brands and recycling companies are all joining together to bring change to make recycling better. As in trusting that your recyclables end.

[Lisa Barnum / Lisa Bonham]

Up in the right places to be.

[Recycling Advocate / Progressive Insurance Advertiser]

Made into new things and having brands help fund the cost of recycling. You can find the Latest [e-mail] Oregon. From Mount Hood to the bin under your desk. Together we can do this.

[Narrator / William Gargan as Barry Craig]

William Gargan stars as Barry Craig, Confidential investigator.

[Barry Craig]

Exercise can be beneficial or it can kill you. One guy I know walked himself to death. But still it figured, seeing that the walk he took was the last mile.

[Narrator / William Gargan as Barry Craig]

The National Broadcasting Company presents William Gargan in another transcribed drama of mystery and adventure with America's number one detective, Barry Craig. Confidential investigator.

[Barry Craig]

Barry Craig speaking in these supersonic times, with the great wide world shrinking to the size of a pretzel, crime crime is global. Chase a hood across New Jersey and you're likely to catch him in Botany Bay or in Algeria or Madagascar. In view of all this, the cablegram on my desk one merry morning didn't surprise me a bit. It had been dispatched from mid ocean. The date line read SS Shalimar. The text of it said arriving Friday, 6pm Please see to arrangements for armored truck at pier. For safe transfer of the priceless Barbary tomb relics. You are highly recommended by an official of the Cairo police. Signed Oscar Melamed. Priceless cargo of anything generally brings out the worst in people. And this one was no exception.

[Lisa Barnum / Lisa Bonham]

Hello, Mr. Craig.

[Barry Craig]

And this is?

[Lisa Barnum / Lisa Bonham]

I'm Lisa Barnum. Like to discuss something with you. Something extremely important.

[Barry Craig]

Capital letter B.

[Lisa Barnum / Lisa Bonham]

Capital letter B.

[Barry Craig]

B for the Barbary collection.

[Lisa Barnum / Lisa Bonham]

Why, you're uncanny.

[Barry Craig]

Yeah, I learned the art of divination from one note, Olio Myers.

[Lisa Barnum / Lisa Bonham]

One note, Olio Myers.

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

Yeah.

[Barry Craig]

A trombone player in the T bone Casino Philharmonic.

[Lisa Barnum / Lisa Bonham]

Go ahead, finish your joke Olio always.

[Barry Craig]

Knew on Friday he was going to get canned. Saturday.

[Lisa Barnum / Lisa Bonham]

Can we meet and talk as soon as possible?

[Barry Craig]

Why not?

[Lisa Barnum / Lisa Bonham]

I'll come to your place.

[Barry Craig]

No, I'll come to your place, but I'd much rather. I prefer women in their natural habitat, Dal. It helps cement a truer understanding. Lisa Barnum lived in a building that had a taxidermist in the downstairs store. While I looked for her doorbell in the row of eight bell pushers, a stuffed chimpanzee came out of the taxidermist to stick a gun in my ribs. Looking for somebody? Yes, I am Lisa Barnum. You're calling on her? I confess.

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

Then you're with me from now on.

[Barry Craig]

Your gun says.

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

My gun says.

[Barry Craig]

You see that green and gold job over there?

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

Mm.

[Barry Craig]

Snazzy. We'll take a spin in it, you and me, vertically.

[Lisa Barnum / Lisa Bonham]

Hmm?

[Barry Craig]

Oh, you mean sitting up. You got quite a grasp of the English.

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

No, no.

[Barry Craig]

You won't be sitting up. I won't?

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

You'll be laying down.

[Barry Craig]

Turn to his side a little, huh? This much?

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Barry Craig]

I like hitting them on the side of the ear. Every man to his taste. No yelling now. When you get it, I'll try to be a gentleman about it. We don't want to be scaring people. Came to with my left ear as big as Dumbo the elephant's, I tried stretching my legs to see how the old blood was circulating. And I knocked over what sounded like a garbage can. I reached a hand out in the pitch dark to get the feel of my surroundings. Almost strangled a cat. I tried getting my bearings by scent. My lungs began to choke up from what smelled like a poison gas barrage. I hate saying the obvious, but where am I?

[Lisa Barnum / Lisa Bonham]

In a cellar.

[Barry Craig]

And where are you in this blackout?

[Lisa Barnum / Lisa Bonham]

Over here. Sitting on a box.

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

Why?

[Lisa Barnum / Lisa Bonham]

Why not?

[Barry Craig]

That stumps me. Say, where's that mustard gas blowing from?

[Lisa Barnum / Lisa Bonham]

You really disapprove of my cologne?

[Barry Craig]

When I get it in lethal doses.

[Lisa Barnum / Lisa Bonham]

How do you feel?

[Barry Craig]

Mainly perplexed.

[Lisa Barnum / Lisa Bonham]

Perplexed? The answers are simple, really.

[Barry Craig]

They always are when you know them. So inform me here. You know a better location?

[Lisa Barnum / Lisa Bonham]

Mertz's Drugstore, just down the block. You'll want penicillin ointment on that ear before it infects. Here, I'll help you up.

[Barry Craig]

I've always relied on the kindness of women. Lisa. You no doubt are Lisa Bonham.

[Lisa Barnum / Lisa Bonham]

Yes, I am Lisa Bonham.

[Barry Craig]

In Mertz's, I got one ear swabbed and taped while Lisa bent my other ear.

[Lisa Barnum / Lisa Bonham]

I saw you assaulted on my stoop. I Was upstairs at the front window.

[Barry Craig]

What's your floor?

[Lisa Barnum / Lisa Bonham]

Second. I ran down to the street to see you thrown into that man's automobile.

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

That man being?

[Lisa Barnum / Lisa Bonham]

Why? I don't know. I hailed a taxi cab and followed you.

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

Why?

[Lisa Barnum / Lisa Bonham]

Why? What would you have me do?

[Barry Craig]

Well, yell police good and loud. If you were really alarmed about me, however, go on with it.

[Lisa Barnum / Lisa Bonham]

You were carried into that cellar and abandoned there. When it was safe, I.

[Barry Craig]

You joined me.

[Lisa Barnum / Lisa Bonham]

Yes.

[Barry Craig]

Oh, my heroin.

[Lisa Barnum / Lisa Bonham]

You are an irritating man.

[Barry Craig]

Time out while I check through my pockets.

[Lisa Barnum / Lisa Bonham]

Well, is anything missing?

[Barry Craig]

Something is.

[Lisa Barnum / Lisa Bonham]

Your Wallet?

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

No.

[Barry Craig]

Then a cablegram I got this morning.

[Lisa Barnum / Lisa Bonham]

A cablegram?

[Barry Craig]

Don't play dumb.

[Lisa Barnum / Lisa Bonham]

All right, I won't. A cablegram telling you where and when Oscar Melamed would arrive.

[Barry Craig]

Oscar Melamed and precious cargo.

[Lisa Barnum / Lisa Bonham]

The man who assaulted you was after.

[Barry Craig]

The information, obviously, and he's got it. And what are you after, baby?

[Lisa Barnum / Lisa Bonham]

It's a long story.

[Barry Craig]

Well, try condensing it into a few words.

[Lisa Barnum / Lisa Bonham]

All right. Our family name was Barbary before it was changed to Barnum.

[Barry Craig]

I get the emphasis.

[Lisa Barnum / Lisa Bonham]

My uncle Dexter Barbary was an Egyptologist. He spent his entire mature life in search of tomb relics.

[Barry Craig]

You make him sound dead.

[Lisa Barnum / Lisa Bonham]

He vanished without a trace two years ago.

[Barry Craig]

Well, where was he then?

[Lisa Barnum / Lisa Bonham]

In Alexandria, Egypt. My last contact with him was a letter he sent me. I. I have the letter here if you'd care to read it.

[Barry Craig]

Oh, later. But meanwhile, you briefed me on the contents of it.

[Lisa Barnum / Lisa Bonham]

The letter states that he'd come upon a priceless collection of Byzantine tomb relics. That he was registering them in his name, Barbary, as the Barbary Collection.

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

And.

[Lisa Barnum / Lisa Bonham]

And period.

[Barry Craig]

And of Uncle Dexter.

[Lisa Barnum / Lisa Bonham]

Yes.

[Barry Craig]

And you suspect foul play?

[Lisa Barnum / Lisa Bonham]

I believe he was murdered and that his collection was stolen.

[Barry Craig]

I see. Are you the last known living bobbery?

[Lisa Barnum / Lisa Bonham]

If Uncle Dexter is dead, yes, I am.

[Barry Craig]

Finish what's on your mind.

[Lisa Barnum / Lisa Bonham]

The tomb relics rightfully belong to me.

[Barry Craig]

So sue for them.

[Lisa Barnum / Lisa Bonham]

Sue? Should I really be so proper, Mr. Craig? Only Sue. The man who caused my uncle's murder.

[Barry Craig]

The accused being my current client, Oscar Melamed. Well, now, answer me this. How did you know the Barbary collection was on board the SS Shalimar en route to here?

[Lisa Barnum / Lisa Bonham]

I. I don't care to disclose my sources of information.

[Barry Craig]

Then you can never be my client.

[Lisa Barnum / Lisa Bonham]

Why can't I be secretive?

[Barry Craig]

Clients worry me. I always imagine they're taking my head size.

[Lisa Barnum / Lisa Bonham]

Taking your head size?

[Barry Craig]

So the dunce cap will fit nice and snug. Friday, 6pm Found me on the pier where the SS Chalamard had docked as ordered. And also as ordered, I had an armored truck hired and standing by for the safe and orderly transfer of the Barbary Collection. A guy in a red oriental fez who'd introduced himself as Oscar Melamed, stood with me watching two giant sized crates being loaded on the armored truck.

[Oscar Melamed]

I am grateful for your very conscientious services, Mr. Craig.

[Barry Craig]

Repeat that to yourself when you get my bill. Now, when the collection's all loaded, where does it go?

[Oscar Melamed]

I have given your driver written instructions.

[Barry Craig]

Don't call him my driver. I got the armored car service out of a telephone directory. I make no guarantees.

[Oscar Melamed]

The collection is to be stored in a vault. I have already made the arrangement.

[Barry Craig]

What's it all worth, Melamed? In round figures 2.

[Oscar Melamed]

$300,000.

[Barry Craig]

That explains the buzzards buzzing around.

[Oscar Melamed]

Every thief in the world has plans to seal the Barbary Collection.

[Barry Craig]

Well, we've got at least one native hood around eager to liven up the competition.

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

1.

[Oscar Melamed]

There will be 20, Mr. Craig.

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

You will see.

[Barry Craig]

Well, that jug's loaded and bolted in, Melamed. You want me to ride on the truck?

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

No.

[Barry Craig]

Be a lot smarter if I did.

[Oscar Melamed]

The driver has his instructions. Let him go.

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

We will remain here.

[Barry Craig]

Well, you're sure casual. With 300 GS, Melamud.

[Oscar Melamed]

I do not want you injured, Mr. Craig. That is why you remain here with me.

[Barry Craig]

Just what's that supposed to mean? Ah, that sounds like there's something up your sleeve. Some nice hunk of oriental cunning.

[Oscar Melamed]

Where is your police headquarters, Mr. Craig?

[Barry Craig]

Raymond and 6th. Why?

[Oscar Melamed]

Let us go there together and await the report of the daring theft.

[Barry Craig]

Theft of the Barbary Collection?

[Oscar Melamed]

Yes, the theft of the Barbary Collection.

[Barry Craig]

At police headquarters on Raymond and Sixth, we haunted the Teletype machine. Completing our trio was a sallow cheeked sergeant named Joe Tuesday, who looked as if crime gave him an acid stomach. I've had dizzy characters popping into headquarters before.

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

Hey, lookit.

[Barry Craig]

Lookit what the ticker tape is saying.

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

Huh? Oh. Oh.

[Barry Craig]

Armored truck seized by gang in machine gun raid at corners of Beaver and Howard. Driver and guard kidnapped. Order statewide alert. Well, you're a champ, prognosticator Melamed. With the hijacked armored car problem in the lapse of the Metropolitan Police, Melamed and yours truly went for a spin in my jalopy. The joyride was his idea.

[Oscar Melamed]

Pier 17, Hoboken. You choose the proper approach, Mr. Craig. But first you have an important thing to attend to. Like like the automobile behind us. See in your mirror.

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

Yeah.

[Barry Craig]

We're being trailed, all right. And only our customers. Familiar job? The one behind us. Green and gold convertible.

[Oscar Melamed]

You have seen it before.

[Barry Craig]

I'm getting a nostalgic twinge in my ear. The bum one. Well, shall we tangle with them or lose them?

[Oscar Melamed]

Lose them, of course.

[Barry Craig]

Fasten your safety belt. Before the green and gold job behind us gave up a hopeless chase, they sent out a signal of defeat.

[Oscar Melamed]

They are shooting at us.

[Barry Craig]

We're out of range, Melamet. And get your fingers out of my knee.

[Oscar Melamed]

But I'm nervous.

[Barry Craig]

Who isn't? Now wave a last fun goodbye to the boys. Alone at last on Pier 17, Hoboken. A banana boat was whistling hello to the USA.

[Oscar Melamed]

Ah, the Susie Cube.

[Barry Craig]

Well, why should a banana freighter give you that radiant glow of happy health? Melamint?

[Oscar Melamed]

Can't you guess, Mr. Craig?

[Barry Craig]

Yeah, I care at that. Sitting amidst mountains of bananas aboard the Susie Q is a big piece of ancient Egypt, a Palberry collection, dummy crates aboard the SS Shalimar and the Real McCoy aboard the Susie Q.

[Oscar Melamed]

Unnecessary SAP. Took. I am sorry to have used you.

[Barry Craig]

As a. Decoy is the word. It's okay with me so long as justice triumphs. But is justice triumphing?

[Oscar Melamed]

Melamed, I. I do not understand your question.

[Barry Craig]

I've got a suspicious nature.

[Oscar Melamed]

But you trust your own judgment.

[Barry Craig]

Yeah, I do that. And no offense intended, mind you, but you personally don't come off too good in my judgment.

[Oscar Melamed]

You have doubts about my integrity?

[Barry Craig]

Swine that I am, yes.

[Oscar Melamed]

The ways of the east are perhaps strange.

[Barry Craig]

To the west, $300,000 spells bonanza even in the Hindustani tongue.

[Oscar Melamed]

But I am the owner of the Barbary Collection.

[Barry Craig]

I've heard other points of view on that.

[Oscar Melamed]

Other points of view?

[Barry Craig]

Yeah. A doll named Lisa Barnum. Lisa Barnum Barbary. Niece of Dexter Barbary.

[Oscar Melamed]

Oh, I see. Now I understand the reason for your suspicion.

[Barry Craig]

It's only one of my reasons.

[Oscar Melamed]

Dexter Barbary was a guest in my country. An eccentric expatriate.

[Barry Craig]

What do you mean, eccentric?

[Oscar Melamed]

A better word would be fool. An amateur Egyptologist and an uninformed one. The man was a vagrant, a mere professional beggar.

[Barry Craig]

But he registered the collection as the Barbary Collection. The one now aboard the Susie Culet.

[Oscar Melamed]

A fraudulent registration. Mr. Craig Barbary was in my employ as a gardener and chauffeur. He registered possessions belonging to me, Oscar Melloman. I have affidavits.

[Barry Craig]

That's your story. Where is Barbary now?

[Oscar Melamed]

I can only repeat rumors like his death was reported. He had contracted a disease in the Kilimanjaro Ranges.

[Barry Craig]

Kilimanjaro. What was Barbary doing in Hemingway's private ballpark?

[Oscar Melamed]

Looking for fossil specimens. Now if you will tell me what is your fee?

[Barry Craig]

Pay me off here and now, huh?

[Oscar Melamed]

Yes, Mr. Craig, you have been useful. But now you are useless.

[Barry Craig]

How much? Peel off a Grand sahib in New York coin. I took the grand and copped off. But I didn't go too far from my ex client. I was on his tail, automotively speaking, all the way from the Suzie Q to a warehouse in Newark where the Barbary collection was unloaded and stored. I made careful note of the address in my office. The next morning, business began to boom. The chimpanzee who loved toying with my left ear, he had a gun in each hand. Hey, there's only one of me, buster. I carry two guns to balance the weight.

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

I don't want one shoulder down lower than the other.

[Barry Craig]

Oh, I see.

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

Remind yourself of something, Craig. Meaning where you went with Egypt when you shook my car yesterday.

[Barry Craig]

Oh, Pier 17, Hoboken.

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

And then to where?

[Barry Craig]

I don't know. I got paid off and canned at the pier.

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

Baloney.

[Barry Craig]

Slice it, please. A smart guy like you would know where $300,000 worth of loot is stored?

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

Yeah, would know.

[Barry Craig]

Mind if I pry into your character a little? What befoozles you about me? How a creep straight out of a Manhattan sewer got himself in the middle of a Cairo, Egypt conspiracy.

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

I got a friend on the lamb in Egypt.

[Barry Craig]

Maxim, Odessa.

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

Three time loser. So he can't ever come home. He sent me a letter.

[Barry Craig]

About the collection?

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

Yeah, about it.

[Barry Craig]

And you're freelancing? I got a few pool players in with me. On your way out, surrender your guns to Sergeant Joe Tuesday. Joe Tuesday?

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

Where is he?

[Barry Craig]

In the lobby, running the elevator. On the back stairs and on the roof. You know what an octopus Joe Tuesday is?

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

You got cup staked out, huh?

[Barry Craig]

For your exclusive benefit? Buster, I'm a guy who takes pride in his ears. So I had sticks and stones. I'll blast my way out. You'll make an unbeautable corpse exit smiling, Buster.

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

Imagine me walking into a cop stakeout. Me, Ponjo.

[Barry Craig]

You're beginning to bore me skidoo now. After Ponjo the 10th Avenue Arab came Lisa in top form, throwing curves at me.

[Lisa Barnum / Lisa Bonham]

I thought over what you said and I decided to take your advice.

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

And.

[Lisa Barnum / Lisa Bonham]

I engaged an attorney. The firm of Brendel, Kurdel and Damhauser.

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

You're suing Oscar Melament for the Barbary collection.

[Lisa Barnum / Lisa Bonham]

We've already served papers. A summons and complaint and a restraining order. Melamed is not to take the collection out of the country without consent of the court.

[Barry Craig]

What adjudication are you after?

[Lisa Barnum / Lisa Bonham]

Sale of the collection and the proceeds of it to me.

[Barry Craig]

300 grand, huh? Proximately lots of mink and banana royals. What about the alleged murder of your dear uncle Dexter?

[Lisa Barnum / Lisa Bonham]

There isn't much I can do about a murder done in Egypt or elsewhere.

[Barry Craig]

Yes, there would be the jurisdictional problem. Now you want to inspire trust and confidence in me.

[Lisa Barnum / Lisa Bonham]

Yes, so very much, Barry.

[Barry Craig]

I wondered when you'd begin to coo, Barry at me.

[Lisa Barnum / Lisa Bonham]

You wondered?

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

Yeah.

[Barry Craig]

A doll finds her lie is showing, she brings sex appeal into the breach. It's not as old as sin, baby. It's older.

[Lisa Barnum / Lisa Bonham]

What do I have to do to prove my utter good faith?

[Barry Craig]

Prove you really had an amateur Egyptologist uncle named Dexter Barbary?

[Lisa Barnum / Lisa Bonham]

Prove I? You don't think I. I made him up, didn't you? Why, if this isn't Mr. Craig, do you often have whams on your head?

[Barry Craig]

Only when my feet ache. Lets talk about the morning's news, huh? The Barbary collections on every front page.

[Lisa Barnum / Lisa Bonham]

So it is. So what?

[Barry Craig]

Four million dollar news break. Figuring the space and pictures. And here a feature interview with Oscar Melamin. How his Oriental ingenuity baffled every raffles from Tibet to Hoboken, New Jersey.

[Lisa Barnum / Lisa Bonham]

But it all does qualify as big news. Or does it mean something else to your warped mind?

[Barry Craig]

It does, Dal. But I won't tell you until I tell it to Oscar Melamed first. Now try sitting on my lap. I'll toss you out of the window.

[Lisa Barnum / Lisa Bonham]

Well, you're nothing but a. A stick of wood.

[Barry Craig]

Oh, I'll just bet you tell that to all the boys. Melamet had company when I found him. Company just about to leave. Distinguished, middle aged black homburg. The type American tycoon with nervous money and a collector's itch. I caught their parting words. Then I'll assume it's agreed. Mr. Melamed.

[Oscar Melamed]

We are in complete harmony. Mr. Cartwright, you drive a hard bargain, but I can afford it.

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

Good day.

[Oscar Melamed]

Good day, Mr. Cartwright.

[Barry Craig]

Tell me, which Cartwright is it? The banker or the steel baron?

[Oscar Melamed]

Mr. Cartwright is in oil.

[Barry Craig]

Marinated in your special brand of oil.

[Oscar Melamed]

Why have you come here?

[Barry Craig]

Putting it bluntly, to stymie a bunco game.

[Oscar Melamed]

A bunco game? What absurdity.

[Barry Craig]

The trash you're trying to palm off as Treasure?

[Oscar Melamed]

You call the Barbary Collection trash?

[Barry Craig]

I do. And all the hijinks and publicity around it is only a buildup for susceptible suckers. What you're really selling him is a collection of newspaper headlines. The publicity has him so dazzled he won't remember to inspect the merchandise. Oh, I see you stopped laughing. Okay, if I bore you with the details of your fraud?

[Oscar Melamed]

I'm listening.

[Barry Craig]

Thanks, Lisa. Barnum's in with you. A full partner in the swindle. A phony uncle routine. And now the lawsuit against you is just more stage dressing. Like that armored car and the two fighters. All more bait for suckers.

[Oscar Melamed]

And the gangsters, Are they also full partners with me?

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

No.

[Barry Craig]

No, the mob was on its own. Flies around honey are what they thought was honey. But all grist for your scheme. The shenanigans of the mob got you more juicy headlines help make trash really look like treasure. Now you gonna take a rest gracefully or are you the type who blows his fez?

[Oscar Melamed]

Despite these circumstances, Mr. Craig, I am forced to admire you.

[Barry Craig]

Well, thanks for saying it. It's what I live for. The goodwill and admiration of my clients. After all, man doesn't work for bread alone.

[Narrator / William Gargan as Barry Craig]

You have been listening to William Gargan in another exciting transcribed mystery drama from the adventures of Barry Craig, Confidential Investigator. Tonight's story, Sweet Larceny, was written by John Robert. Next week it's the strange story of Corpse on the Town, about which Barry Craig has this to say. In Corpse on the Town, death rewrites the script of a Broadway show when a bachelor producer becomes a widower in two easy stages, marriage and murder. The National Broadcasting Company has just brought you an NBC Radio Network production with William Gargan starring as Barry Craig, Confidential Investigator. Directed by Andrew C. Love. Our cast included Edith Terry, Luke Rugman, Jan Arvin and Jonathan Holt. Join Groucho Marx for you Bet yout Life. Tonight on the NBC Radio Network.

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[Narrator / William Gargan as Barry Craig]

Map out this week's amazing destinations and travel tips.

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[Narrator / William Gargan as Barry Craig]

That's not the itinerary we're following.

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Well, I'm departing from ATT and embarking on a new journey with T Mobile. They paid off my family's four phones up to $3200 and gave us four new phones on the house.

[Narrator / William Gargan as Barry Craig]

Bon voyage.

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[Narrator / William Gargan as Barry Craig]

William Gargan Stars as Barry Craig, Confidential Investigator.

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

Refer to a guy as the ghost of his former self. Look twice at the get up he's wearing. He might be sporting a bedsheet.

[Narrator / William Gargan as Barry Craig]

The National Broadcasting Company presents William Gargantuan in another transcribed drama of mystery and adventure with America's number one detective, Barry Craig. Confidential Investigator.

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

Barry Craig speaking There's generally a lot more to show business than what people finally get to see from the 480 seats. The backstage behind the scenes shenanigans of what is delicately referred to as the the pre production phases. Brother, can it get wild. Wild and very homicidal. The particular case I have in mind began innocently enough. It commenced up near Yonker in a rubble strewn area that looked like an A bomb testing grounds in the Nevada Flats. The ground floor door I went through read Luther Bassett, Canine Dentistry. Canine Dentistry. Inside there was a guy in a short white medical coat, a pretty patch of hair on his chin in the style of old Vienna. Luther Bassett. I figured him to be right off. I'd never seen a goatee on a Joan. The dog with him was on the operating table, while later in a cubicle off the operating room, Dr. Bassett and I tried to reach an understanding.

[Luther Bassett]

I thank you for coming so promptly, Mr. Craig.

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

Well, you phoned me. You said urgent. You said liberal payment. I liked your language, especially liberal payment. Now squelch my curiosity first. What do you fill a dog's teeth with? A T bone steak.

[Luther Bassett]

The same as with humans. Amalgam gold. The one you watched had lower bridge Work done.

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

Lower bridge work, huh?

[Luther Bassett]

That dog is a Broadway star.

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

Oh, Flunk.

[Luther Bassett]

You must surely know him.

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

Oh, when I go to the dogs, I do it on the east side of town, never on Broadway. Oh. What play?

[Luther Bassett]

The hit comedy.

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

Mr. Gillooly's ghost.

[Luther Bassett]

Fluff plays a big part. Oh, he gets a tremendous salary.

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

High living's ruined his choppers. Huh. So, what's the nature of my employment to be Bassett?

[Luther Bassett]

Something to do with dogs of the human variety.

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

In show business?

[Luther Bassett]

Yes.

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

Oh, you're also in, Chauvelin?

[Luther Bassett]

Only as an investor.

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

Aha. How much and what theatrical?

[Luther Bassett]

I have invested $20,000 in a proposed musical fantasy called 2055.

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

2055?

[Luther Bassett]

The calendar year 100 years from now. It is a fantasy about the end of the world.

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

Amusing thought. Who's producing it?

[Luther Bassett]

Stanton Bishop.

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

And what's your particular anxiety?

[Luther Bassett]

Rumors that I've heard that the show is over financed.

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

Is that bad?

[Luther Bassett]

Well, perhaps I'm not using the right word.

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

Wait. I think I know. A man has 100% to sell to investors, but he sells 150%. The show opens, flops, loses its nuts. But Stanton Bishop isn't a bit worried. He has a load of sucker money salted away.

[Luther Bassett]

If Stanton Bishop is a splinter and not a legitimate producer, I must know. You must, must investigate for me discreetly. Do you want a retainer?

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

Foolish question. Money in front sharpens my talent. I found Stanton Bishop in a rented rehearsal hall on a side street along the main stem. Black homburg, pink cheeks, yellow teeth, suede shoe. When I found him, he was pulling producers rank on a lot of long stand stemmed dolls and dancing types.

[Stanton Bishop]

Girls. Tomorrow I want to see more bounce, more jump. The title of the number is A New World is Born. That means leaps and ecstasy. You've got to prove it to the customer. Dismiss for the day.

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

I listened while he complimented the baritone, Mr. Eduardo Bernard.

[Stanton Bishop]

You sang and all I heard was a television commercial for a mouthwash. Before signing as Elite Baritone, you should first have your adenoid removed. Your first fired from this show.

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

When Bishop finished throwing his weight around, I tried abusing him.

[Stanton Bishop]

By what authority do you inquire into my private business affairs? This badge, Chicken Inspector.

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

If I were a more sensitive man, that could get you a punch on the nose.

[Stanton Bishop]

No, no, I'm. I'm a heart case. You punch me and you're a murderer.

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

The book, please. Book?

[Stanton Bishop]

What book?

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

The one you keep for your own information. The record of investors and money. Who and how much? Now, where do you keep it?

[Stanton Bishop]

Why, in my Safety vault.

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

Not here. In your desk.

[Stanton Bishop]

Here in my desk? Why? To accommodate sneaks like you.

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

That laugh sounded very falsetto to me.

[Stanton Bishop]

You stay out of my desk. It's personal. It's sacred to me.

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

Oh, I'll bet. Oh, would this be it? You give me that ledger. Would you wrestle with me, buster? Okay, if you must be placated. Now, don't oversleep, buster. I get through this book. My hunch is we'll have things to talk over. Bishop had his swindle written down in his personal ledger so plainly it looked like a confession to the DA Bishop came, too, and we talked it over. Your musical is budgeted to cost $300,000. You've accepted investors, cash, totaling over $400,000.

[Stanton Bishop]

Well, money for contingencies, isn't it?

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

Baloney. Who is? A show angel named Eloise Finchley. She's in for a cool $150,000.

[Stanton Bishop]

She can afford it.

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

Oh, I would imagine, Craig. What?

[Stanton Bishop]

Eloise Finchley's investment. It isn't exactly a strange stock deal in the show.

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

Then what is it?

[Stanton Bishop]

More of a personal loan to me.

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

You sure thought that little dodge up fast.

[Stanton Bishop]

That balances my books, doesn't it? Take away Eloise Finchley's money. And the cash I have so far accepted is less. Less, mind you, than my proposed budget.

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

I'll believe the personal loan dodge after I've talked to Eloise Finchley. So what's her phone number?

[Stanton Bishop]

I don't want you telephoning her.

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

Craig. How many times a day must you be rocked to sleep?

[Stanton Bishop]

I'm making a change in that script, if you'll notice, Craig.

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

Uh oh. And where was that gun up till now?

[Stanton Bishop]

Never mind.

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

You look more like a hood now than the show producer. More in your natural element.

[Stanton Bishop]

Don't force me to shoot. Hang up that phone and get out.

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

Bishop's violent urge to get me out of his office at that moment was nothing impulsive, as I soon found out. It was strategy, plain and simple. Nor did he go far. Just a motor ride to the nearest Gretna Green. Gretna Green being shorthand for any place where marriage could be completed as fast as a couple could chirp. I do. I read all about it in the morning papers. The Broadway impresario Stanton Bishop marries socialite Eloise Finchley in surprise elopement. At my first opportunity, I paid my respects to the bride in a fancy bridal suite almost as close to Central park as the statue of Sherman's horse.

[Lisa Barnum / Lisa Bonham]

Champagne, Mr. Craig?

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

Conversation, Mrs. Bishop.

[Lisa Barnum / Lisa Bonham]

Do you disapprove of my marriage.

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

Your mister will never get through the pearly gates.

[Lisa Barnum / Lisa Bonham]

Is there a man without vices? Really, Mr. Craig?

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

How come you eloped with Bishop immediately with my investigation of him?

[Lisa Barnum / Lisa Bonham]

How come? Now, let me see. Yes, he invited me on a motor ride. It was perfect weather. The moon, Mr. Craig. You've never seen such a gorgeous moon.

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

And that was it.

[Lisa Barnum / Lisa Bonham]

Love doesn't stop to reason, Mr. Craig.

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

I've heard Bishop married you as a coverup for his losses. The marriage takes you off his books as an outside investor and puts it in the family. It balances his books.

[Lisa Barnum / Lisa Bonham]

Must we really be so dull, Mr. Craig, so prosaic? I'm a bride. I'm in heavenly raptures.

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

Yeah, you're heading for one big hangover.

[Lisa Barnum / Lisa Bonham]

I adore champagne.

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

I'll leave sounding one last dull and forsake nothing.

[Lisa Barnum / Lisa Bonham]

Must you?

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

The sudden elopement smacks of conspiracy. Conspiracy to frustrate an investigation of Bishop's peculiar theatrical financing. Sweet matrimony was only a device for whitewashing him. How about that?

[Lisa Barnum / Lisa Bonham]

You don't really expect me to testify against my husband, Mr. Craig?

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

Okay. I know when I'm licked.

[Lisa Barnum / Lisa Bonham]

And you forget. $150,000 of the total on Stanton's books was my own money and cop my own money, Mr. Craig.

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

Yeah. And frankly, that angle of it has me befuddled, perplexed, confused and mystified. I reported back to my client, the canine dentist, Luther Basset. Well, who's the dental patient now, Bassett? Another famous dog actor. Oh, yes.

[Luther Bassett]

This is Rinky Tintin.

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

Rinky Tin Tin.

[Luther Bassett]

Reputed to be a grand nephew of Rin Tin Tin.

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

Bow wow. Genuine aristocracy. And what show is Rinky in the World and Egg?

[Luther Bassett]

It's a play about reincarnation.

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

What does Rinky play in it?

[Luther Bassett]

Napoleon the dog is the 20th century reincarnation of Napoleon. Mind you, it is an allegorical play.

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

Yes, I get you. Well, you can leave your 20,000 with Bishop or not. As you please. You mean the operation is legitimate now? It is. I think I scared him into legitimate producing. I mean, if Bishop actually has the show business know how for producing musicals.

[Luther Bassett]

But he was first contemplating a swindle.

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

With every breath in his body.

[Luther Bassett]

Then I will withdraw my investment.

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

Well, you won't get all of it. Not at this date. Bishop has had some pre production costs already, but salvage what you can. Go ahead. Well, my cost to you is 300 bucks. Pay me off, Bassett. End of case only. It won. It was just the beginning. As it turned out, the blissfully newlywed Stanton Bishops were doomed to make more headlines. Gruesome ones. This time I saw it first on a Street newsstand. Mrs. Stanton Bishop. I could only see that much. Hey, give me that paper, boy. The whole headline read, Mrs. Stanton Bishop killed in street mugging. It had sure been a short honeymoon. I let official sources amplify the newspaper details. In this case, a first grade detective in homicide named Scotty.

[Luther Bassett]

What's your interest in the late Mrs. Stanton Bishop, Craig?

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

I mourn her passing. How did she go?

[Luther Bassett]

A street assault.

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

And what was taken?

[Luther Bassett]

So far as we know, her purse, a diamond wrist watch and her wedding ring.

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

According to whom?

[Luther Bassett]

Stanton Bishop. When he identified the body.

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

Mm. What police results?

[Luther Bassett]

So far, none.

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

No clue to the alleged mugger you.

[Luther Bassett]

Hit the word alleged? Why?

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

Because, frankly, I'm skeptical.

[Luther Bassett]

You're a reason?

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

Nothing concrete, so I won't give it yet. What was the cause of death? Strangulation.

[Luther Bassett]

A broken neck. She'd been hit with the side of the palm. A rabbit punch. It's a favorite blow with mugging.

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

Or a killer trying to make it look like a standard mugging. Now, where did it happen?

[Luther Bassett]

54Th and 9th. We found the victim in an area.

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

Way hard to believe. What is a lady of her style being at 54th and 9th to begin with? Eloise Finchley Bishop was Park Avenue. Very perfumed, very upper class.

[Luther Bassett]

Not always.

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

But what would that mean?

[Luther Bassett]

Our check into her pedigree turned up some interesting facts. She was posing as a socialite, and her maiden name, Finchley was an assumed one.

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

Then who was she really?

[Luther Bassett]

Eloise Burkey. Father was a railroad brakeman. Parents now both dead. Eloise herself was a dress model when she worked. Not that there's any law against posing as society folks.

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

No, there isn't. Only one thing really has me confused now. Yeah?

[Luther Bassett]

What's that, Craig?

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

Well, where would a sometimes dress model get $150,000 for a the theatrical investment? I was around the rehearsal hall to give my condolences to Stanton Bishop personally. He looked a little different to me this visit. The pink cheeks were sallow. Deep lines in his face, like he'd had some new worries added.

[Stanton Bishop]

What do you want here, Craig?

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

What was Mrs. Stanton doing on the wrong side of town?

[Stanton Bishop]

How should I know?

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

Or what was stolen from her?

[Stanton Bishop]

I've already told the police.

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

Tell me.

[Stanton Bishop]

Her pocketbook, a diamond wristwatch and her wedding ring. Craig, you're not going to maliciously persecute me?

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

Shouldn't I?

[Stanton Bishop]

I'm in mourning. I experienced a horrible tragedy. I think of how Eloise Died. I have nightmares. I'm in a cold sweat.

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

Sad. What's happened to our 150,000?

[Stanton Bishop]

Craig, please, not at a time like this.

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

Tough to answer, huh?

[Stanton Bishop]

Look, I'm straight, clean as a new baby. Maybe I had ideas once. Wrong ideas, but all right, you cured me.

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

Now let me live. That depends on how your wife really died.

[Stanton Bishop]

She was attacked, she was robbed, her neck was broken by some homicidal maniac.

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

Oh, that's how it was made to appear.

[Stanton Bishop]

Then you are going to persecute me maliciously.

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

At least until you explain to me how an ex dress model was able to invest a fortune in your show. Also, what really was the attraction that got you two married?

[Stanton Bishop]

Heckle me or embarrass me with the police and the public, you'll only make trouble for yourself.

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

Did you murder your wife and followed off as a mugging by a person or persons unknown?

[Stanton Bishop]

No. I tell you no. I tell you no.

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

I did a further check into the background of the corpse with the grudging connivance of first grade Detective Scottish.

[Luther Bassett]

Hey, Craig, I can get reprimanded for this or promoted. Yeah, promoted. For letting you into an apartment. Officially sealed to the public.

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

Now, look, I saw this. I quietly turn the information over to you. I don't take a bow. You get a promotion and a raise.

[Luther Bassett]

Boy, are you good at dangling sucker bait.

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

Well, Eloise Burkey, Alanis Finchley, ex dress model. Where did she ever get $150,000? Well, squat somewhere, Scotty, while I look around. I came up with a ton of stuff hidden away in bureau drawers, driven packages and a steamer trunk. The personal stuff nobody ever throws away. Old letters, diaries, a high school pin. And picture albums, Lots of picture albums. The recent Eloise had collected the history of her life in snapshots.

[Luther Bassett]

Yeah, she's in it from the first baby pose on a bear rug, right to maidenhood.

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

Yeah, Eloise and pigtails in her school graduation dress. How she looked at Sweet 16 on her first date as a slim chick in a one piece bathing suit. How she looked is a dress. Hey, hold it, Craig. Well, what strikes you?

[Luther Bassett]

That page of snapshots. The two shots. Eloise posed with a guy. Six pictures. The same guy.

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

What about it? Well, study the face of the guy.

[Luther Bassett]

You recognize him?

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

Yeah, I've seen him. Why, sure, he's famous.

[Luther Bassett]

Notorious. He's Artie Anzac, big gun.

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

Artie Anzac, Big Gun Houston.

[Luther Bassett]

Oh, he's responsible now. Retired from the rackets. He's had it. Served 20 years in Leavenworth for tax evasion.

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

This page of pictures, Anzac and Eloise, they look like very recent photographs.

[Luther Bassett]

Watch out with Anzac, Craig. He's still king. To a big piece of gangland.

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

I'll be most respectful. I've got a thing about royalty. Anzac lived like royalty should. A heavily wooded estate on the outskirts of the city with a high stone wall around it, like the side of a mountain. I found him practicing golfing putts on a library rug. I talked while Anzac concentrated on his stance. When he'd figured out his answers, he gave them to me.

[Luther Bassett]

Sure, I know Eloise.

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

Sweet kid. Sweet dead kid.

[Luther Bassett]

Yeah. Ain't it a shame?

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

Out walking and that's it. Still, everybody dies. Some just go sooner. What was she to you? Anzacs? A babe. I bought her a coat, I bought her one of them foreign cars, and then I moved on to another babe. Period. Period. I'm not poor. Spread the wealth, I figure. Did it bother you when Eloise married Stanton Bishop? No, not a bit. I'm for marriage. My mother was married. I even sent them a wire of congratulations with a load of flowers that cost me a C note.

[Luther Bassett]

Craig, I already had another babe.

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

Yeah, you said. Now, I'd like to get back to my partner. I'm in a tournament tomorrow, but I'm not through talking. What else is it? Well, I'm at the point now of mentioning $150,000. Not a dough. Eloise invested that much in Bishop's musical production.

[Luther Bassett]

Now, where would a babe get that kind of cabbage?

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

I think from you.

[Luther Bassett]

Hey, I'm not that generous.

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

I think Eloise invested it for you. Idle money, hot money, Undeclared income. She was your front so tax officials wouldn't be the wiser. You'd already served time for tax evasion. You'd had enough of that. Hey, that's quite an idea you got. Oh, I'm loaded with ideas. I also think Eloise double crossed you. That she invested the money for herself and that Bishop knew the source of the money and what Eloise was up to. And that Bishop used that knowledge as a weapon to make Eloise marry him. Why would he do that? Oh, he had to make Eloise marry him. I'd been investigating Bishop. I'd found irregularities. Enough for me to alert the district attorney. Bishop had to find a device for shutting me off. I got practicing to do. Craig. I'm in a tournament tomorrow. I think you murdered Eloise to pay her off for the double cross. And as an object lesson for Bishop. So Bishop will respect your $150,000 piece of his Musical production. I think you're the killer, Anzac. What's this putt, huh? Beautiful, huh? I left Anzac to drive home. Anzacs wanted a state to join the famous state park, popular with campers, hikers and hunters. Signs on roadside trees advertised the two week open hunting season. Deer was the big game. I almost qualified a rifle shot through my side window that almost skinned my scalp. A wild shot, I wondered. Or was it a devoted Anzac subject trying to please the King? It was one of the things in life I'd never know. A chain is no stronger than its weakest link. Stanton Bishop figured to be the weak link, an easy mark for a trick designed to get corroborating evidence against a suspected killer. I found him alone in the rehearsal hall chewing on a dead cigar.

[Stanton Bishop]

Craig, you soured my whole life.

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

Oh, sad. I wonder how nervous you'll be, Bishop. Strapped in the electric chair.

[Stanton Bishop]

Strapped me, Craig?

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

For what? The murder of your wife. I've got evidence against you.

[Stanton Bishop]

Evidence?

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

Those articles supposedly stolen from Eloise. So? So I've got them locked up in my office safe. Where could you get them? Right out of your wife's bureau. It's a trick.

[Stanton Bishop]

You're lying to me. You're trying to trap me in something.

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

But you can't be sure. You ad libbed a story of stolen articles to make the alleged mugging plausible. Why were you so anxious to have it written off as an unsolved mugging? Who are you afraid of? You clam up, you'll only be a fall guy. Bishop. Who's there? Somebody else? Bishop, Come on, it's trembling on your lips.

[Stanton Bishop]

Anzac.

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

Artie.

[Stanton Bishop]

Anzac. He murdered Eloise and I'll tell you why.

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

Oh, don't bother to. I already know why. Now, the guy answering this phone will be Scotty of Homicide. Tell your story to him. From here on, it's his case. Hello, Scotty? This is Barry Craig. Scotty, I've got a guy here who's going to mean your raise and promotion. Yes, sir. A Craig promise is always redeemable in cash.

[Narrator / William Gargan as Barry Craig]

You have been listening to William Gargan in another exciting transcribed mystery drama from the adventures of Barry Craig, confidential investigator. Tonight's story, Corpse on the Town, was written by John Robert. Next week it's the strange story of the Golden Touch, about which Barry Craig.

[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

Has this to say.

[Narrator / William Gargan as Barry Craig]

In the Golden Touch, a doll with amnesia forgets everything but her alibi when her partner, in unholy matrimony takes a second fatal leap out of her arms and into eternity. The National Broadcasting Company has just brought you an NBC Radio Network production with William Gargan starring as Barry Craig. Confidential Investigator Directed by Andrew C. Love. The cast included Harley Bear, Frank Gerstel, Vivi Janis and Joe Forte. This is the NBC Radio Network.

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[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

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[Ponjo / Sidekick / Various supporting characters]

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[Barry Craig]

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