THE FAIRLY BRIGHT CAPER ADVENTURES OF SAM SPADE

Summary

Podcast Summary: "THE FAIRLY BRIGHT CAPER – ADVENTURES OF SAM SPADE"

1001 Radio Crime Solvers

Host: Jon Hagadorn
Episode Date: February 20, 2026
Story Source: The Adventures of Sam Spade – public domain radio play

---

Episode Overview

This episode spotlights an atmospheric and witty Halloween-themed mystery from the golden age of radio, starring legendary private eye Sam Spade. The caper unfolds at a macabre engagement party—adorned with witches, eccentric guests, and elaborate costumes—until murder interrupts the festivities. With classic deadpan humor and a twisting detective plot, Sam Spade navigates family secrets, masquerades, and a particularly clever attempt to cover up a homicide.

---

Key Discussion Points and Plot Breakdown

1. Setting the Scene (03:40)

• The episode opens with Sam Spade bantering over a "witch's brew" recipe—setting a playful, spooky Halloween mood.
• Notable Quote:

  "Well, I guess everyone knows it's Halloween, even if they don't listen to the radio. Shall we?"
  — Sam Spade (04:20)

• Spade arrives at the Fairly Pines estate, greeted by costumed characters and party chaos.

2. The Engagement Party and Characters Introduced (04:27–13:19)

• Characters:
  • Wilma Fairley: The bride-to-be with a history of jilting fiancés
  • Hillary Bright: Eccentric party planner
  • Homer Langdon: The family lawyer
  • Mrs. Fairley: Wilma’s eccentric mother
  • Ophelia: Comic witch character hired for party entertainment
• The party doubles as both an engagement and a Halloween masquerade, with notable guests from gangsters to bubble dancers—many uninvited for added unpredictability.
• Notable Quote:

  "20 uninvited guests—who will come as themselves."
  — Hillary Bright (11:32)

• Sam is hired ostensibly to "pretend to have a good time," but more importantly, to protect against anticipated criminal antics.

3. Chaos and Catastrophe (13:19–15:34)

• As the party progresses, chaotic incidents ensue:
  • A pickpocket robs the police chief
  • The axe murderer chases the witch
  • Gangsters and cowboys brawl
• Amid the madness, Wilma Fairley is found shot dead near the woods after being called away from the party.
• Notable Quote:

  "If this was part of Mr. Bright's Halloween production, I thought he'd overdone it just a little because she was dead."
  — Sam Spade (15:49)

4. Investigation and Red Herrings (18:16–22:59)

• Suspects include family members, party guests, and especially Mrs. Fairley, whose behavior and "rope of tied bedsheets" suggest nocturnal excursions.
• Physical clues include:
  • Bed sheet rope out the window
  • A pistol discovered in the witch's cauldron
• Spade dismisses Mrs. Fairley as too vague to be the killer, noting the murder required calm precision.
• Ballistics and footprints add confusion: the fatal bullet appears to have unusual rifling, and clues point in several directions.
• Notable Quote:

  "Two ridges, two shots into the woods... It was a misshapen hunk of worthless lead. Something embedded in the side of it glittered in the sun like a diamond."
  — Sam Spade (24:12)

5. The Twist: Howdunit and Whodunit Revealed (22:59–26:25)

• Spade determines that the killer fired the fatal shot through a phone book (to decrease velocity and mimic a long-range shot).
• The murder weapon, a .38 pistol, originally belonged to Langdon; the bullets had diamond insets to alter rifling marks, further muddying ballistics.
• Unmasking the Killer:
  • Langdon, the lawyer, engineered the killing to cover up embezzlement that Wilma's marriage would expose.
  • Memorable Moment:

    "A pointed black hat rose up out of the brush... 'Put a spell on him I did, with this here magic wand. Blunt instrument to you, sonny.'"
    — Ophelia (Witch), foiling Langdon’s attack (25:50)

6. Denouement and Motive Explained (27:09–29:14)

• With Mrs. Fairley cleared, Spade explains to his assistant Effie the true motive: Langdon needed to prevent exposure of his theft from the estate, as Wilma's nuptials would trigger legal scrutiny.

• Notable Quotes:

  "Langdon, as trustee of the Fairley estate, had embezzled large sums of money, which he would have to account for under the community property law if she got married..."
  — Sam Spade (28:49)

• The comic witch Ophelia returns for final banter, hinting she’s the “squeak in the door on Inner Sanctum”—a nod to classic radio lore (29:18).

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments (with Timestamps)

• "It's a recipe. One pound of fennel..."
  — Sam Spade, opens with a comic Halloween “witch’s brew” (01:20)
• "If your family hasn't tried it, get Wild Root Cream Oil..."
  — Sponsor, blending 1940s ad charm into the narrative (02:26)
• "It's Halloween. It's a witch's brew. You were only fooling."
  — Ophelia (02:01)
• "Hillary is that any way to speak about a girl's fifth engagement party?"
  — Ophelia to Hillary Bright (09:12)
• "A witch. Mrs. Witch, where are you?"
  — Ophelia, running party errands for the hired witch (08:14)
• "She was sprawled on her face at the foot of a big pine tree at the edge of the clearing."
  — Sam finds Wilma’s body (15:49)
• "All bullets fired from the gun thereafter would have markings different from the one fired on Wilma's body."
  — Sam explains the cleverness of the diamond-inset bullet (27:13)
• "Go home and gargle. Period. End of report."
  — Sam wraps his case, ever the wisecracker (26:57)

---

Important Timestamps

• 03:40 – Sam Spade’s arrival and scene setting
• 04:27 – Introduction of party preparations and characters
• 10:00 – Sam’s assignment explained
• 13:19 – Party chaos escalates
• 15:34 – Murder discovered
• 18:16 – Investigation intensifies; suspects and clues reviewed
• 22:59 – Sam reconstructs the caper’s mechanical details
• 25:50 – Witch thwarts Langdon’s final gambit
• 27:09 – Sam and Effie discuss the resolution and motive
• 29:14 – Episode’s humorous ending, witch’s afterlife

---

Tone and Style

• The story expertly balances hard-boiled detective humor and Halloween hijinks.
• Dialogues are witty, zippy, and packed with tongue-in-cheek puns—typical of vintage radio crime.
• The episode parodies both the haunted-house genre and detective tropes, with double entendres and playful asides throughout.

---

Conclusion

This Sam Spade caper offers a multi-layered whodunit—set in a Halloween masquerade haunted by real murder. Eccentric characters, a convoluted plot with phony clues, and Spade’s sharp narration bring to life this entertaining slice of radio history. Beyond the slapstick and satirical flourishes, the episode delivers a well-crafted mystery solved through inventive logic and classic detective legwork.

Recommended for fans of classic detective fiction, radio drama history, and those who like their mysteries with a side of humor and Halloween spice.

---

Transcript

[Amazon Music Announcer]

Ever notice how ads always pop up at the worst moments when the killer's identity is about to be revealed during that perfect meditation flow? On Amazon Music, we believe in keeping you in the moment. That's why we've got millions of ad free podcast episodes so you can stay completely immersed in every story, every reveal, every breath. Download the Amazon music app and start listening to your favorite podcasts. Ad free included with Prime.

[Sam Spade (Detective)]

Welcome back everyone to 1001 radio crime solvers. This is your host, John Hagedorn. And now, the Adventures of Sam Spade.

[Wild Root Cream Oil Announcer]

Enjoy the Adventures of Sam Spade, detective, brought to you by Wild Root Cream Oil Hair tonic, the non alcoholic hair tonic that contains lanolin. Wild Root Cream oil again and again. The choice of men and women and children too.

[Ophelia (Witch/Halloween Character)]

Sam, say detective agency.

[Sam Spade (Detective)]

Very important. Sweetheart, write this down.

[Ophelia (Witch/Halloween Character)]

Yes, Sam. I have pencil and paper ready.

[Sam Spade (Detective)]

Ingredients?

[Ophelia (Witch/Halloween Character)]

Colon, punctuation or ingredient, Sam?

[Hillary Bright (Party Host)]

Both.

[Ophelia (Witch/Halloween Character)]

What is it, Sam?

[Sam Spade (Detective)]

A recipe. One pound of fennel.

[Ophelia (Witch/Halloween Character)]

Oh, that's liquid measures.

[Sam Spade (Detective)]

You put that in later.

[Ophelia (Witch/Halloween Character)]

Cross out funnel.

[Sam Spade (Detective)]

Not funnel. Fennel. It is not liquid. It grows in fairly pines.

[Ophelia (Witch/Halloween Character)]

It's Fairly what, Sam?

[Sam Spade (Detective)]

One root of St. John's wort.

[Ophelia (Witch/Halloween Character)]

Whose wort?

[Sam Spade (Detective)]

Not wort. Wart.

[Ophelia (Witch/Halloween Character)]

Oh, don't interrupt.

[Sam Spade (Detective)]

Some newt size. A couple pounds ought to be enough. One ounce of bat's wool. One adder fork that is not a utensil. One fillet of fenny snake. Some lizards legs. One hemlock root d in the dark directions in the poisoned entrails throw toad that under cold stone days and Nights has 31. And if anyone drops in for trick or treat, Effie, leave them have it.

[Ophelia (Witch/Halloween Character)]

Oh, Sam, now I get it. Halloween. It's a witch's brew. You were only fooling.

[Sam Spade (Detective)]

That's what you think, sweetheart. Get out your cauldron, your poison pen and your book of malefactions. I'll be right down to dictate my report on the fairly bright caper which or I should have stood in bed and ducked for apples.

[Wild Root Cream Oil Announcer]

Dashiell Hammett, America's leading detective fiction writer and creator of Sam Spade, the Hard Boiled private Eye, and William Spear, radio's outstanding producer director of mystery and crime drama, join their talents to make your hair stand on end with the Adventures of Sam Spade presented by the makers of Wild Root Cream Oil for the hair. Are they saying this about you? There goes somebody who's really well groomed. And that can go for every member of your family if they spruce up each day with Wild Root Cream Oil, America's favorite hair tonic. Wild Root Cream Oil. Grooms hair neatly and naturally relieves dryness, removes loose dandruff. If your family hasn't tried it, get Wild Root Cream Oil in the new 25 cent bottle. You'll see why Wildroot Cream Oil Hair tonic is again and again the choice of men and women and children too. And now, with Howard Duff starring as Spade, Wild Root brings to the air the greatest private detective of them all in the Adventures of Sam Spade.

[Sam Spade (Detective)]

Oh, is that the wind dying? Oh, no. It's only two devils that blow through a murderer's bones to and fro. And the ghosts Moonshine.

[Ophelia (Witch/Halloween Character)]

Take off that ridiculous mask. You look about as much like a

[Sam Spade (Detective)]

demon as a demon. Check. Fly your broom into the adjoining office, sister, and we'll weave a few spells. Date Effie.

[Ophelia (Witch/Halloween Character)]

Yes, Sam?

[Sam Spade (Detective)]

What is this thing on my desk? Looks like a pumpkin.

[Ophelia (Witch/Halloween Character)]

It is a pumpkin. I made it this afternoon. Here, I'll light it.

[Sam Spade (Detective)]

Well, isn't that cute?

[Ophelia (Witch/Halloween Character)]

Isn't that cute?

[Sam Spade (Detective)]

Eyes and nose and mouth. Looks like Lieutenant Dundee of Homicide.

[Ophelia (Witch/Halloween Character)]

Well, thank you, Sam.

[Sam Spade (Detective)]

Thank you. Well, I guess everyone knows it's Halloween, even if they don't listen to the radio. Shall we?

[Ophelia (Witch/Halloween Character)]

We shall.

[Sam Spade (Detective)]

Date all Hallows Eve, 1948. To Hillary Bright, Esquire. Number 13, Black Place City, from Samuel Spade, license number 137596. Subject, the Fairly Bright Caper. It was a fairly bright afternoon for the fog bound Bay area. There was no frost upon the pumpkin. In fact, as yet, no pumpkin. But I did see a black cat and several attractive wolf girls and broomstick skirts during the bus ride down the peninsula to your client's ancestral estate, Fairly Pines. A bat flew out of a hollow tree as I mushed up a road through some pine woods to the house in the gathering dusk. I also observed the toad, a lizard and a hooty owl, which, if memory serves, as staple ingredients for a witch's brood. Then I observed, hobbling out of the forest, an authentic hag. She was wearing a dusty black robe of peaked and her matted gray hair coiled serpent like around her evil countenance. She leaned on a gnarled staff of hemlock, fixed me with her yellow glittering

[Ophelia (Witch/Halloween Character)]

eyes and said, hello, kiddo.

[Sam Spade (Detective)]

Yes'm.

[Ophelia (Witch/Halloween Character)]

Which way's the house?

[Sam Spade (Detective)]

Which house?

[Ophelia (Witch/Halloween Character)]

Fairly. Fangs. Lost my bearings, I did. I was looking for some fennel. I got the bat's wool riding open newt's legs. Couldn't find no adders forks, but reckon this here copperhead will do the trick.

[Sam Spade (Detective)]

What are you gonna do with all that stuff?

[Ophelia (Witch/Halloween Character)]

It's for the brew. I'M the witch I hired for tonight. Name's Gudge. Born Sophia. But of course I don't have no Christian name anymore since it's sold out to old Scratch. Beat me down on my price. He did too. Look at that wart on my nose.

[Sam Spade (Detective)]

What nose? The house is up that way.

[Ophelia (Witch/Halloween Character)]

Mind if I walk along with you, pretty boy?

[Sam Spade (Detective)]

I don't like girls. Not at all, ma'. Am.

[Ophelia (Witch/Halloween Character)]

No need to be afeard. With a strong gp they're obeying me. They'll be lucky if I give them a whiff of brimstone.

[Sam Spade (Detective)]

Not so close, please.

[Ophelia (Witch/Halloween Character)]

But I did promise one manifestation and the scream of a soul in dormant the witching hour. I I settle. Ready or not.

[Wild Root Cream Oil Announcer]

Who is that?

[Sam Spade (Detective)]

What's your hurry, sir? Where do I find Mr. Hillary bright? Oh, you're the detective. Spade, right? Oh, I'm Homer Langdon, attorney for the Fairlie Estate. Come along, I'll take you to him. Sorry for that challenge just now. Been hearing strange noises around the grounds. You notice anything peculiar as you came up the road? Well, there was an old lady. I use the term loosely. Looking for fennel. Yeah, that's the witch. Mr. Bright hired her for the party tonight. Takes her work kind of seriously, doesn't she? Well, you know how it is.

[Wild Root Cream Oil Announcer]

Seasonal work.

[Sam Spade (Detective)]

What does she do between Halloweens? Claim she hibernates. Gotta feel ya, Mrs. Fairlie Spade. She's eccentric. Don't let her know. Check.

[Ophelia (Witch/Halloween Character)]

Oh, here I am. Homer, what was it you wanted? Oh, it's the man from the caterer.

[Wild Root Cream Oil Announcer]

No.

[Sam Spade (Detective)]

Ophelia, this is Mr. Spade, the detective that Mr. Bright employed.

[Ophelia (Witch/Halloween Character)]

Oh, well, about that recipe for the aspic. Cook says she's never heard of putting fennel and lizard's claws in a tomato aspic. And Mr. Bright says hemlock is poison.

[Sam Spade (Detective)]

You've got it mixed up, Ophelia. That's the recipe for the witch's brew.

[Ophelia (Witch/Halloween Character)]

Well, anyway, the grocer says he doesn't stock them, so you'll have to garnish it with parsley.

[Sam Spade (Detective)]

Ophelia, he's not the caterer. He's the detective.

[Ophelia (Witch/Halloween Character)]

Oh, well, keep your eye on those pumpkins. Mice.

[Sam Spade (Detective)]

You know mice.

[Ophelia (Witch/Halloween Character)]

You know, mice. Pumpkins. Where is that witch? I've got to tell her about the Parsley. A witch. Mrs. Witch, where are you?

[Sam Spade (Detective)]

Sad case, but harmless.

[Chief Becker (Police Chief)]

Can we go in?

[Sam Spade (Detective)]

Yeah.

[Hillary Bright (Party Host)]

Now watch his jawbone, Wilma. Oh, you've already broken his neck.

[Ophelia (Witch/Halloween Character)]

Oh, why don't you hire an assistant? I don't like hanging him in the house. Anyway, we. We don't even know who he is.

[Sam Spade (Detective)]

What are they up to now? Halloween comes but once a year. Oh, it's a skeleton. Part of the decoration.

[Wild Root Cream Oil Announcer]

Hurry.

[Chief Becker (Police Chief)]

Oh, yes, Omar.

[Sam Spade (Detective)]

I couldn't find the witch, but here's the detective.

[Ophelia (Witch/Halloween Character)]

Ah, well, you can have the witch. I'll take him.

[Hillary Bright (Party Host)]

Oh, watch what you're doing, Wilma.

[Ophelia (Witch/Halloween Character)]

The ladder.

[Sam Spade (Detective)]

Sorry.

[Hillary Bright (Party Host)]

This just about completes the arrangements.

[Chief Becker (Police Chief)]

Oh, this is Ms. Wilma Fairlay, for

[Hillary Bright (Party Host)]

whom I'm managing this nauseous ball. Sam. Spade.

[Ophelia (Witch/Halloween Character)]

Hillary. Is that any way to speak about a girl's fifth engagement party?

[Hillary Bright (Party Host)]

Forgive me if I'm guilty of understatement. Oh, fix that wire, Wilma. The top of Frankenstein head's caving in. And look at that, the bolster coming out of his neck already. Oh, well, come along, Spade, and I'll tell you how you fit into this mess.

[Ophelia (Witch/Halloween Character)]

See you at the party, Sam.

[Hillary Bright (Party Host)]

In here, Spade. Privacy.

[Sam Spade (Detective)]

I don't think we're quite alone, are we?

[Hillary Bright (Party Host)]

99%. This is fairly fiance number five. Ralph Cram by name. Oh, wake up, Ralph.

[Sam Spade (Detective)]

He started the party a little early

[Hillary Bright (Party Host)]

before lunch, but can you blame him? If I weren't a teetotaler, I'd be out staggering around the woods with that witch.

[Sam Spade (Detective)]

Huh? Now, what exactly is my assignment, Mr. Bright?

[Hillary Bright (Party Host)]

I want you to be present at this miserable party tonight and pretend to have a good time.

[Sam Spade (Detective)]

Why didn't you hire an actor?

[Hillary Bright (Party Host)]

This is a new kind of masquerade ball. Even I have a unique problem here. A Halloween party combined with a party announcing the engagement of a socially prominent young woman. Well, naturally the press will be on hand. They always are at my parties. But I doubt if any of the invited guests will show up. That's where you come in. You're one of the uninvited guests.

[Sam Spade (Detective)]

I don't get it.

[Hillary Bright (Party Host)]

It's very simply this. I have a reputation to maintain. I'm sure you have better things to do than read the society page. I'll explain. I believe some ill informed columnists have referred to me as the male Elsa Maxwell. That's not true. She is the male Hillary Bright. Female, that is.

[Sam Spade (Detective)]

Anyway, you're a professional party giver, is that it?

[Hillary Bright (Party Host)]

Exactly.

[Sam Spade (Detective)]

What's the matter with Wilma? Why won't anybody come to her party?

[Hillary Bright (Party Host)]

Because everyone on the guest list is either a relative or a friend of some poor swain she has jilted on the very steps of the altar.

[Sam Spade (Detective)]

Oh, now I get it. Exactly.

[Hillary Bright (Party Host)]

Now, as to the party masquerade, natch. What else can you have on Halloween?

[Sam Spade (Detective)]

Figures.

[Hillary Bright (Party Host)]

Yes, if anyone came, they'd probably be dressed as witches or pumpkins, which is dull enough in itself. But the fairlies in their immediate circle will undoubtedly trot out their moth eaten Beaux Arts costume. Oh, Langdon is Louis xiv. Wilma and her mother trying to look like Greek goddesses. And some old drapes from a Fanchon and Marco idea.

[Sam Spade (Detective)]

What about the boyfriend here?

[Hillary Bright (Party Host)]

Well, you can see how hideous it's all going to be. And Life magazine has promised to cover it. Well, I simply had to do something.

[Sam Spade (Detective)]

What about the boy?

[Hillary Bright (Party Host)]

I think it's the party idea of the year. 20 uninvited. Guess who will come as themselves.

[Sam Spade (Detective)]

Who's my date? The witch.

[Hillary Bright (Party Host)]

Oh, isn't she priceless? You know, I thought of burning her at the stake as the grand climax of the evening.

[Sam Spade (Detective)]

I've got matches.

[Hillary Bright (Party Host)]

No, I decided against it. It's too messy.

[Sam Spade (Detective)]

Well, it sounds like loads of fun, Mr. Bright, but I'm afraid you called the wrong detective.

[Hillary Bright (Party Host)]

Now, wait a minute. Please hear me out. Now, there's method in my madness. I believe I mentioned 20 uninvited guests

[Sam Spade (Detective)]

who are coming as themselves. Yes, exactly.

[Hillary Bright (Party Host)]

Well, I've gone to a great deal of trouble and expense. Guess getting together a really colorful group, all authentic types. A gangster, a shrimp fisherman, a swami, three bubble dancers, a gypsy, a paroled axe murderer, a sand hog. Oh, that reminds me. I must see whether the blubber arrived for that Eskimo. They're flying down from Nome. Yeah, well, what I'm getting at, Spade, is that with a collection of people like that, well, anything might happen.

[Sam Spade (Detective)]

Yeah, yeah. Well, why didn't you invite the local police force?

[Hillary Bright (Party Host)]

Oh, they're coming in costume, of course.

[Sam Spade (Detective)]

Good, then you won't need me. Besides, I get $800 a day in expenses.

[Hillary Bright (Party Host)]

Mr. Spade, at the last party our local chief of police attended, the guests were held up and robbed of $50,000 worth of jewels, including the chief's gold badge. So you see, we do need you.

[Ophelia (Witch/Halloween Character)]

What the hey, what's that?

[Hillary Bright (Party Host)]

Oh, go back to sleep, Ralph. It's only the guests arriving.

[Sam Spade (Detective)]

I get $1,000 a. You were right. You did need a detective. In fact, you could have used several of us. First, the pickpocket you'd invited lifted the police chief's wallet. The axe murderer chased the witch up a tree. And the gangster and the cowboy tried to shoot it out over one of the bubble dances. After I'd foiled a safecracker in the act of blowing the vault in the library, things quieted down and everybody formed a circle Around a bonfire.

[Hillary Bright (Party Host)]

All right.

[Sam Spade (Detective)]

Quiet, please.

[Ophelia (Witch/Halloween Character)]

Quiet, everyone. Quiet.

[Hillary Bright (Party Host)]

Mrs. Fairlie has a very important announcement to make. Ophelia?

[Ophelia (Witch/Halloween Character)]

She was here just a few moments ago.

[Hillary Bright (Party Host)]

Well, have you seen her around, Langdon?

[Sam Spade (Detective)]

A few minutes ago she said she had a headache and went upstairs to get some aspirin.

[Ophelia (Witch/Halloween Character)]

Sam, I'm worried about Mother. Would you mind going upstairs to see what she's up to?

[Hillary Bright (Party Host)]

She's been behaving so strangely tonight.

[Sam Spade (Detective)]

She's been behaving strangely. Sure, Wilma. I'll be right back. Come along.

[Hillary Bright (Party Host)]

Let's get on with it.

[Ophelia (Witch/Halloween Character)]

A witch agent.

[Hillary Bright (Party Host)]

You stand over here.

[Sam Spade (Detective)]

Here.

[Ophelia (Witch/Halloween Character)]

No, no, no. Bring your broom. That's it.

[Hillary Bright (Party Host)]

And don't look so pleasant. You're supposed to be evil.

[Ophelia (Witch/Halloween Character)]

Beware those not wearing toe vein is subject to wart. There's evil in this place tonight. Blood on the stone. Blood in the gallon.

[Safeway and Albertsons Announcer]

Safeway and Albertsons have made saving easier than ever with great savings on family favorites this week at Safeway and Albertsons. USDA choice beef, boneless, tri tip whole or flankin style. Ribs bone in are 6.99 per pound member price and asparagus are 199 per pound member price plus 16 ounce strawberries. 6 ounce raspberries or blackberries are 197 each limit 3 member price with digital coupon. Hurry in. These deals won't last. Visit safewayoralbertsons.com for more deals and ways to save.

[Sam Spade (Detective)]

I hated to miss the manifestation, and I hope that get back in time for the scream of the soul in two, the witch had promised. Earlier in the evening, I cased the rooms on the second floor. Wilma's fiance, Ralph Cram, was in one of them. Asleep. Ophelia wasn't in any of them. But in one of the bedrooms I found something that puzzled me. A rope made out of bed sheets dangled out of the window. But the window was closed. I walked over and opened it. The witch was still at it. I couldn't see the merry little group around the bonfire, but where the firelight glowed against the tree trunks. At the edge of the woods, I saw a white robed figure crouching in the shadows. Then I heard it.

[Chief Becker (Police Chief)]

Put them all in the house. Don't let any of them get away.

[Ophelia (Witch/Halloween Character)]

Right, chief.

[Sam Spade (Detective)]

All right, folks, you'll have to step in.

[Ophelia (Witch/Halloween Character)]

Come on.

[Sam Spade (Detective)]

This will mislead. She's dead.

[Chief Becker (Police Chief)]

Somebody shot her.

[Sam Spade (Detective)]

She was sprawled on her face at the foot of a big pine tree at the edge of the clearing. A single slug had entered her body just below her left shoulder blade. If this was part of Mr. Bright's Halloween production, I thought he'd overdone it just a little because she was dead. As nearly as I could reconstruct it, Wilma had been standing outside the circle of people grouped around the fire as if somebody in the woods had called to her and she'd left the group to investigate. She'd been facing the fire when she was shot. And what about the two shots that had missed her? If the killer had been aiming at her and missed, he couldn't have avoided hitting somebody else in the crowd. I went back to the house to check the guests. All there unwounded and accounted for, except the witch. According to the local chief of police, who was rapidly turning into a toad, she had flown away in her broom. I checked my nose for warts.

[Wild Root Cream Oil Announcer]

The makers of Wild Root cream oil are presenting the weekly Sunday adventure of Dashiell Hammett's famous private detective, Sam Spade. Now here's important news on good grooming. If you want the well groomed look that helps you get ahead socially and on the job, listen. Recently, thousands of people from coast to coast who bought wild root cream oil for the first time were asked how does wild root cream oil compare with the hair tonic you previously used? The results were amazing. Better than four out of five who replied said they preferred wild root cream oil. Remember, non alcoholic wild root cream oil contains lanolin. It grooms the hair naturally, relieves dryness and removes loose ugly dandruff. So if you want your hair to be more attractive than ever before, get the generous new 25 cent size of wild root cream oil. America's leading hair tonic. On sale at all drug and toilet goods counters. It's also available in larger economy bottles and the handy new tube. Get wild root cream oil again and again. The choice of men and women and children too. And now back to the fairly bright caper. Tonight's adventure with Sam Spade.

[Sam Spade (Detective)]

By dawn the next morning, Aloysius Becker, boy police chief, still hadn't sweated anything out of his 20 odd suspects. But yawned the family lawyer, Langdon, had an old gun permit. No gun. Then he canvassed the for Wilma's 18 jilted suitors. They were all alibi by their wives and children, which knocked that angle out. She carried no insurance. Nobody stood to gain anything financially by her death. And Nobody but you, Mr. Bright, actively disliked her. About then, Chief Becker put Ophelia back on the griddle.

[Chief Becker (Police Chief)]

Now look here, Mrs. Fairley, you still aren't coming clean with us.

[Ophelia (Witch/Halloween Character)]

Clean? Oh, the ashtrays I'll call the maid.

[Chief Becker (Police Chief)]

Come back here.

[Ophelia (Witch/Halloween Character)]

Yes, Chief Becker.

[Chief Becker (Police Chief)]

Now sit down, Mrs. Fairley. Now, let's go over the part of your story where we found the bed sheets hanging out your window.

[Ophelia (Witch/Halloween Character)]

Yes.

[Chief Becker (Police Chief)]

Why did you tie the bed sheets together and hang them out the window?

[Ophelia (Witch/Halloween Character)]

For a rope.

[Chief Becker (Police Chief)]

So you admit that you used that rope to sneak out?

[Ophelia (Witch/Halloween Character)]

I did no such thing. I always go out that way at night.

[Chief Becker (Police Chief)]

And you admit that? Oh, I give up.

[Sam Spade (Detective)]

Mrs. Fair.

[Ophelia (Witch/Halloween Character)]

It's you, Missy. I want to thank you for guarding the pumpkin so well. I didn't see a mouse all evening.

[Sam Spade (Detective)]

Thank you, Mrs. Fairley. I only did what? Oh.

[Ophelia (Witch/Halloween Character)]

Why is Chief Becker so angry?

[Sam Spade (Detective)]

I think what's worrying him, Mrs. Fairley, is why you closed the window behind you when you went out on your rope.

[Ophelia (Witch/Halloween Character)]

So no one would know. Wilma worries about me. You won't tell her?

[Chief Becker (Police Chief)]

Ah, it's as plain as a nose on your face what she's doing. Working up to an insanity plea.

[Sam Spade (Detective)]

Ingenious theory, Chief, but look, can I talk to you a minute outside?

[Chief Becker (Police Chief)]

Yeah, could use a little air. Keep them all here. I'm on a hand.

[Sam Spade (Detective)]

Look, Chief, why don't you lay off that poor old dame? She's too vague. Disorganized. It took a marksman the way the wound was. No point of exit, just puncture the wall of the heart and stop the low velocity impact.

[Chief Becker (Police Chief)]

Sure.

[Hillary Bright (Party Host)]

A what?

[Sam Spade (Detective)]

It had been fired from about the maximum range of a.38 pistol. He'd have to figure on the dropping truck trajectory as the bullet slowed down. It was either a trick shot or one that just connected accidentally.

[Chief Becker (Police Chief)]

By the way, we only have your word for it that you were upstairs in the house when those shots were fired. You carry a.38, don't you, Spade?

[Sam Spade (Detective)]

What kind of gun do you carry, Chief?

[Chief Becker (Police Chief)]

Yes, well, we'd better wait till Ballistic sends back the report on the slug. Gosh, if we could only figure out where she hid the gun.

[Sam Spade (Detective)]

Don't look now, Chief, but that witch is back again.

[Hillary Bright (Party Host)]

What?

[Ophelia (Witch/Halloween Character)]

Pretty boy, where have you been? I've been looking all over for you. Portals.

[Chief Becker (Police Chief)]

You're gonna have a good deal of explaining to do. Lady, why did you fly away like that last night?

[Ophelia (Witch/Halloween Character)]

I had the seat of my cauldron. A good thing I did, too. Look what I found in it. No wonder my manifestation didn't work.

[Sam Spade (Detective)]

Base metal in my brew.38 caliber too. Three bullets fired.

[Chief Becker (Police Chief)]

Gee, that settles it. You're under arrest.

[Sam Spade (Detective)]

Who, me?

[Hillary Bright (Party Host)]

Yes.

[Chief Becker (Police Chief)]

No, her.

[Ophelia (Witch/Halloween Character)]

Oh, no, you don't. I'll put a Spell on you, I will. I'll turn you into a toad.

[Sam Spade (Detective)]

Look, chief, where's that gun permit you took out of Langdon's room?

[Chief Becker (Police Chief)]

Oh, I forgot. Forgot about that. Here, it's in my pocket.

[Sam Spade (Detective)]

Let's see that serial number. Well, they match. It's Langdon's gun.

[Chief Becker (Police Chief)]

Boy, oh, boy.

[Hillary Bright (Party Host)]

Then it's settled.

[Sam Spade (Detective)]

That's what you think. Boy, oh, boy. Don't forget, he's a lawyer. I headed for the woods. I found the spot where I'd seen the figure in white, crouching just before the shots were fired. A little way back in the woods, I found footprints. French heels. Short, mincing stride. Following along behind them was another set. Flat soles. Long, manly stride. The Manish footprints followed the feminine footprints almost to the clearing and then straight. The feminine footprints went on straight to the spot where Wilma had fallen. I knew that no woman had been over this trail since the murder. Except the witch, who probably had cloven hoofs. Her cauldron had vanished, but the fire was still smoldering. I kicked through the ashes. I didn't know what I was looking for, but I found it. I raked it out with a stick and prodded it. The blackened outer layers crumbled away. It had been a raging bonfire. But there are few things harder to burn than a telephone book. The middle pages were yellowed from the heat and seared around the edges, but they were still intact. There was a hole punched in the middle of each page. Feminine footprints. Right up to the X that marked the spot in the phone book through which a bullet had been fired. I had a hunch the ballistics report would prove that Langdon's gun did not fire the fatal bullet. I was right, but for the wrong reason. Yeah, you can't get around it, chief. Ballistics don't lie. You can see here you don't even need a magnifying glass. Take a look there.

[Chief Becker (Police Chief)]

Don't have my glasses.

[Sam Spade (Detective)]

Well, you ought to be able to feel it. Two big ridges on the test slug. The other one's almost smooth. Rust bits wouldn't make a ridge like that, would they? No. We figure they must have used a faulty cutter at the factory when they rifled the barrel.

[Chief Becker (Police Chief)]

Well, that settles it. That and those woman's footprints and that phone book all point to Mrs. Fairley.

[Sam Spade (Detective)]

What's about a phone book? Whoever shot her fired the slug through a phone book to make it look like a long range job. It was a low velocity hit, all right, but it was tearing through that phone book that slowed it down.

[Chief Becker (Police Chief)]

That proves the Killer didn't have to be a marksman. Stood right next to her. What's so funny?

[Sam Spade (Detective)]

This picture in the morning paper.

[Wild Root Cream Oil Announcer]

You and those bubble dancers.

[Chief Becker (Police Chief)]

Let me see that. Why, that's libelous.

[Sam Spade (Detective)]

It's more than that.

[Chief Becker (Police Chief)]

Huh?

[Sam Spade (Detective)]

There in the background. Langdon and Mrs. Fairley.

[Chief Becker (Police Chief)]

What about them?

[Sam Spade (Detective)]

Their shoes. Langdon's dressed as Louis XIV French heels. Mrs. Fairleigh and that Greek goddess.

[Wild Root Cream Oil Announcer]

Get up.

[Sam Spade (Detective)]

Sandals, flat heels.

[Chief Becker (Police Chief)]

It's Langdon's gun. Then it's not Langdon's gun. It's a long range shot. Then it's through a seed catalog, phone book. Now it's a man in woman's shoes. An attorney, at that. Mama Ann, get me some fingerprints, something I can work.

[Sam Spade (Detective)]

I didn't blame the chief. My somersaulting clues were getting me dizzy, too. So far, Langdon, like the good lawyer he was, had kept his mouth shut, which meant nothing one way or the other. That was smart. But he disposed of his gun by throwing it in the witch's cauldron. Which was stupid, A, because it was sure to be found, and B, because there was no reason for hiding it anyway. But too stupid sometimes make a smart. If he wanted it to be found, he must have had a story ready in case he. If I were in that spot, my story would have been that I fired those shots into the woods after the fleeing killer. But I didn't know how I would explain the fact that only three shots were heard, one of which killed Wilma. Then I thought of those two ridges on that test slug. Two ridges, two shots into the woods. This time, I did know what I was looking for. They were buried deep in the soft trunk of a pine tree near the ground. I dropped to my knees and dug. I got the first one out and was looking at it. It was a misshapen hunk of worthless lead. Something embedded in the side of it glittered in the sun like a diamond. In fact, it was a diamond. Then it stopped glittering. Something behind me had come between it and the sun. I flopped on my side and rolled over. I grabbed his legs and tripped him. Then I saw his face. It was Langon. I was halfway to my feet when his foot caught me where it hurt. And my legs. I tried to keep moving and get my gun out at the same time. He was on his feet again before I was, so I fired without aiming from flat on my back. He only scorched his coat, but it stopped him a second. He swung his gun up, and I got ready to jump him. But I didn't have to. A pointed black Hat rose up out of the brush behind him. Something flashed in the sun and he collapsed.

[Ophelia (Witch/Halloween Character)]

What a spell on him I did with this here magic wand. Blunt instrument to you, sonny.

[Sam Spade (Detective)]

Thank you, thank you, thank you, Mrs. Witch.

[Ophelia (Witch/Halloween Character)]

Guard to the handle, son. Which is my profession.

[Chief Becker (Police Chief)]

Well, boy, that was a close call. Put the cuffs on him, Monahan.

[Sam Spade (Detective)]

Hey, what are you doing?

[Chief Becker (Police Chief)]

Oh, no, Monahan, not Spade. Langdon there. Been following him since I found out he was wearing women's shoes. Well, that's settled today, Spade.

[Sam Spade (Detective)]

Yeah, but you'll need this.

[Chief Becker (Police Chief)]

What is it?

[Sam Spade (Detective)]

A jeweled bullet. A slug with a diamond set in it.

[Ophelia (Witch/Halloween Character)]

Come on. Here.

[Sam Spade (Detective)]

It's the master clue of this caper.

[Chief Becker (Police Chief)]

Oh, yeah, the master clue. You better come along too, lady, for questioning. We'll book her for vagrancy if we need it.

[Ophelia (Witch/Halloween Character)]

Oh, no, you don't. I'll turn you into a toad. You don't believe me, do you? Humpy toad? Humpy toad. Warty and green. Feel anything?

[Chief Becker (Police Chief)]

Well, on second thought, I reckon she's harmless. Poor old soul.

[Ophelia (Witch/Halloween Character)]

Soul indeed. Ain't got any. I sold out the old scratch 30 years ago. Come next Halloween. See you then, sonny.

[Sam Spade (Detective)]

Go home and gargle. Period. End of report.

[Ophelia (Witch/Halloween Character)]

But, Sam, what was the significance of the jewel bullet?

[Sam Spade (Detective)]

Oh, well, after he shot Wilma, Langdon fired two shots into the woods. Remember, those two bullets had diamond insets so placed that they would gouge the inside of the gun barrel. All bullets fired from the gun thereafter would have markings different from the one fired on the Wilmer's body.

[Ophelia (Witch/Halloween Character)]

Oh, he was wrong, of course. But it was noble of him to want to cover up for poor Mrs. Fairleigh.

[Sam Spade (Detective)]

What for, Abby?

[Ophelia (Witch/Halloween Character)]

Well, she killed her daughter, of course, because she was just out of patience with her getting engaged and unengaged all the time till they had no friend in the world. That's so that was the motive, wasn't it?

[Sam Spade (Detective)]

That's fairly bright, sweetheart. Except that Mrs. Fairley did not kill her daughter. Langdon did.

[Ophelia (Witch/Halloween Character)]

She mean she was his daughter too, by a previous marriage.

[Sam Spade (Detective)]

Don't take that up, sweetheart, before I turn you into a toad.

[Wild Root Cream Oil Announcer]

And now listen to this, for here's a good tip. Spruce upright. Spruce up now with Wild Root Cream Oil Hair tonic. Wild Root Cream Oil grooms your hair neatly and naturally relieves dryness, removes loose dandruff. Get the 25 cent get acquainted bottle or the large economy size. And ask your barber for a professional application of Wild Root Cream Oil Hair tonic again and again. The choice of men and women and children, too.

[Ophelia (Witch/Halloween Character)]

Well, here it is, Sam. Of course, you know best. But Mrs. Sally was the only one with a motive. And that Mr. Bright was secretly in love with her and. And wanted to marry her himself.

[Sam Spade (Detective)]

So he killed her. That was fairly bright.

[Ophelia (Witch/Halloween Character)]

Or her fiance. What happened to him?

[Sam Spade (Detective)]

He woke up and went home.

[Ophelia (Witch/Halloween Character)]

Oh, well, I guess he didn't have a motive.

[Sam Spade (Detective)]

Pay attention, sweetheart. Langdon, as trustee of the Fairley estate, had embezzled large sums of money, which he would have to account for under the community property law if she got married. He had already broken up many of her romances, but when the old lady went soft in the head, he decided. Decided to end the danger once and for all. He could explain matters any way he wanted to, and there'd be nobody to contradict him. Are you listening up,

[Ophelia (Witch/Halloween Character)]

Sam? What does she do between Halloween, the witch?

[Sam Spade (Detective)]

Oh, she's the squeak in the door on Inner Sanctum.

[Ophelia (Witch/Halloween Character)]

Oh, you made the joke too small. Well, good night, Sam.

[Sam Spade (Detective)]

Good night, Sam. Thanks for joining us here at 1001 radio crime solvers for the Adventures of Sam Spade Private Detective. We bring new episodes every Sunday at noon eastern time and Wednesday at 5pm Eastern Time. Until our next show, everyone stay safe and we'll be back soon.

[Safeway and Albertsons Announcer]

Safeway and Albertsons have made saving easier than ever with great savings on family favorites this week at Safeway and Albertsons. USDA choice beef, boneless, tri tip, whole or flank and style ribs. Bone in our $6.99 per pound member price and asparagus or $1.99 per pound member price plus 16 ounce strawberries. Six ounce raspberries or blackberries are $1.97 each. Limit three member price with digital coupons. Hurry in. These deals won't last. Visit safewayoralbertsons.com for more deals and ways to save.