Detailed Summary of "Bert Choke Slammed Two Dudes" Episode of "2 Bears, 1 Cave"

Podcast Information:

• Title: 2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
• Hosts: Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
• Episode: Bert Choke Slammed Two Dudes | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
• Release Date: April 14, 2025
• Description: Weekly, comedian best friends Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer get together in the bear cave at YMH Studios to do what bears do: make each other laugh.

1. Return to the Cave

After a series of promotional segments for various sponsors, Tom and Bert rejoin the conversation, transitioning back to their typical humorous banter and storytelling.

2. Bert’s Unexpected WWE Experience

Bert narrates his wild and unplanned experience in the WWE ring, detailing his interactions with professional wrestlers and the chaos that ensued.

• Bert Shares His Story:
  • [00:56] Bert Kreischer: "I feel good."
  • [23:48] Bert Kreischer: "I choke slammed him into the water. He goes, do me WWE style. I was like, do me WWE style."

Bert describes how he unintentionally found himself in the middle of a wrestling promo with CM Punk. Lacking training, he improvises, leading to a comedic and memorable choke slam moment.

• Tom Reacts:
  • [26:06] Tom Segura: "Yeah. I wish you would have hit him with your belt and he'd be like..."

This segment highlights Bert's spontaneous nature and the unpredictable humor that defines their dynamic.

3. Plans to Visit a Gay Bar and Embracing Bear Culture

The hosts discuss their upcoming plans to attend a gay bear bar, reflecting on the nuances of gay subcultures and their excitement about the experience.

• Bert’s Enthusiasm:
  • [14:12] Bert Kreischer: "I've got our outfits."
  • [16:43] Bert Kreischer: "I can't have them dressed up like children."

They humorously strategize their outfits and anticipate the interactions they might have, emphasizing their open-mindedness and love for exploring different communities.

• Tom’s Input:
  • [17:58] Tom Segura: "Gay Asian bears. We must allow ourselves to..."

The conversation evolves into a playful exploration of different bear types and personal preferences, showcasing their ability to engage in lighthearted yet meaningful discussions.

4. Discussion on Attractive Accents

Tom and Bert delve into a spirited debate about which accents they find most attractive, ranking their favorites and sharing amusing anecdotes related to each.

• Bert’s Rankings:

  • [56:19] Bert Kreischer: "Number one is British. Number two, French. Number three, Italian."

• Tom’s Agreement:

  • [56:43] Tom Segura: "Five, Spanish."

The segment is filled with humorous commentary on stereotypes and personal tastes, highlighting their camaraderie and ability to find humor in everyday topics.

5. Bert’s Memorable Night with a Geisha in Japan

Bert recounts a vivid and entertaining night spent with a geisha in Kyoto, blending cultural observations with his trademark humor.

• Bert’s Experience:
  • [48:07] Bert Kreischer: "She served me all night. She sat in my room while I slept."
  • [48:18] Tom Segura: "Yeah. He's playing a game."

Bert’s storytelling paints a comedic picture of cultural misunderstandings and unexpected interactions, offering listeners a glimpse into his adventurous spirit.

6. Stand-Up Comedy and Future Touring Plans

The conversation shifts to their stand-up careers, discussing upcoming tours, special performances, and their passion for live comedy.

• Bert’s Excitement:

  • [75:09] Bert Kreischer: "I just started doing stand up again, and it feels fucking great."

• Tom’s Tour Insights:

  • [73:48] Tom Segura: "I start back up August 28th. So I only have one gig in June."

They share insights into their professional lives, reflecting on the challenges and rewards of stand-up comedy while reaffirming their commitment to making audiences laugh.

7. Reflections on Podcasts vs. Stand-Up

Tom and Bert discuss the balance between maintaining their podcasts and focusing on stand-up, touching on industry opinions and personal preferences.

• Bert’s Thoughts:

  • [76:46] Bert Kreischer: "We do have to do it because some guy might see all of them."

• Tom’s Agreement:

  • [77:14] Tom Segura: "I don't disagree with them."

They reflect on feedback from peers about the role of podcasts in a comedian’s career, considering the value of both mediums in connecting with audiences.

8. Promoting Upcoming Stand-Up Specials and Tours

Concluding the episode, Tom and Bert promote their upcoming stand-up specials and tours, encouraging listeners to attend and support their work.

• Bert’s Promotion:

  • [77:43] Bert Kreischer: "Bad thoughts is coming on May 13th."

• Tom’s Tour Dates:

  • [78:07] Tom Segura: "Permission to party. Permission to party. I have September 18th."

They provide listeners with information on where to catch them live, emphasizing their enthusiasm and dedication to their craft.

Notable Quotes:

• Bert on WWE Experience:

  • [26:20] Bert Kreischer: "I choke slammed him into the water."

• Tom on Crowd at MSG:

  • [72:12] Tom Segura: "They were telling you, like, we are responding in a way that's special."

• Bert on Accents:

  • [56:19] Bert Kreischer: "Number one is British. Number two, French. Number three, Italian."

Insights and Conclusions:

Throughout the episode, Tom and Bert exhibit their quintessential comedic chemistry, seamlessly blending personal anecdotes with humorous observations on diverse topics such as WWE experiences, gay bear culture, and the allure of different accents. Bert’s spontaneous foray into professional wrestling offers a standout moment of unexpected hilarity, while their discussions about attending a gay bar reveal their openness and willingness to engage with new communities. The playful debate on attractive accents showcases their ability to find humor in everyday preferences, and Bert’s recounting of his night with a geisha adds a unique and entertaining dimension to the conversation. As they reflect on their stand-up careers and the balance between podcasts and live performances, the duo underscores the importance of passion and dedication in their comedic pursuits. Concluding with promotions for their upcoming specials and tours, Tom and Bert reaffirm their commitment to entertaining and connecting with their audience, embodying the spirited and unfiltered essence of "2 Bears, 1 Cave."

This structured summary captures the essence of the episode, highlighting key discussions, personal stories, and the dynamic interplay between Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer. It provides a comprehensive overview for those who haven't listened, ensuring engagement and clarity.