How A Plane Crash Changed Travis Barker's Life | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

Summary

Podcast Summary: "How A Plane Crash Changed Travis Barker's Life | 2 Bears, 1 Cave"

Episode Title: How A Plane Crash Changed Travis Barker's Life
Podcast: 2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Host/Authors: Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Release Date: February 3, 2025
Duration: Approximately 86 minutes

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Introduction

In this emotionally charged episode of "2 Bears, 1 Cave," hosts Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer delve deep into personal stories of trauma, resilience, and transformation. The episode centers around Bert Kreischer's harrowing experience of surviving a plane crash and how it fundamentally altered his life trajectory. Throughout the conversation, both comedians share insights on overcoming fear, the importance of community, and maintaining mental and physical health.

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1. Bert's Plane Crash and Its Aftermath

Timestamp: [05:03] - [07:06]

Bert Kreischer opens up about the life-altering plane crash he survived. He describes the traumatic event in vivid detail, including the physical injuries he sustained and the immediate mental impact.

Bert Kreischer [05:20]: "I was in a plane crash. I never went to rehab. I was beginning therapy and I was in the mindset that I wanted to get sober, but I was sort of forced to get sober."

Bert recounts how he ended up in the burn center, undergoing over thirty surgeries and nearly losing his foot. The experience forced him to confront his substance abuse issues head-on, leading to his sobriety.

Bert Kreischer [06:01]: "They use the good skin on your body to replace all the burnt skin. It's amazing what they do."

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2. Journey to Sobriety and Fitness

Timestamp: [03:35] - [05:49]

Bert discusses his path to sobriety, emphasizing the role of fitness and running in his recovery. He explains how running became a daily ritual that helped him balance the chaos of his past.

Bert Kreischer [04:33]: "I did it to balance out all the bad stuff. I figured I'd start, like, including some good stuff."

Tom Segura shares his own relationship with running, using it as a means to clear his mind and maintain sobriety.

Tom Segura [04:19]: "I run or work out to get the poison out. If I don't do it, I'm gonna fog all day."

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3. The Importance of Running and Community Events

Timestamp: [08:08] - [16:33]

The conversation shifts to the significance of running events like 5Ks in building community and promoting health. Bert highlights how these events help people discover the joy of running and foster a sense of camaraderie.

Bert Kreischer [09:04]: "I have all these people that aren't normally outside, aren't normally doing any kind of exercise, that are out there just doing it."

Tom adds that running also serves as a motivational tool for his fans, encouraging them to lead healthier lifestyles.

Tom Segura [09:58]: "It's a great way to build community. It's a great way to get your fans involved and get them healthy."

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4. Overcoming the Fear of Flying

Timestamp: [19:44] - [25:59]

Both hosts candidly discuss their fears of flying. Bert shares his traumatic experience from the plane crash, while Tom reveals his childhood fear rooted in witnessing his father's anxiety during flights.

Bert Kreischer [24:26]: "I was white knuckling every flight. Even before my plane crash, I already had a fear of flying."

Tom Segura [22:03]: "I have a real fear of flying. It's been almost 17 years, but takeoff is the worst thing imaginable for me."

They explore coping mechanisms, such as therapy and relying on supportive friends, to manage their anxieties related to air travel.

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5. Navigating Fame and Maintaining Normalcy

Timestamp: [56:03] - [72:12]

Tom and Bert reflect on the challenges of fame and the importance of staying grounded. Bert emphasizes his desire to live a "normal" life despite his public persona, focusing on family and personal well-being.

Bert Kreischer [73:23]: "I just want to be a good example. So I run to balance things out."

Tom echoes similar sentiments, expressing his mixed feelings about fame and its impact on personal life.

Tom Segura [55:36]: "I am pretty normal, but I do like fame, and I think it's gross."

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6. Passion for Cars and Personal Interests

Timestamp: [73:02] - [85:03]

The duo transitions to lighter topics, discussing their shared passion for classic cars. Bert shares anecdotes about his love for vintage Cadillacs and Chevy trucks, while Tom admits he's less knowledgeable but still appreciates the aesthetic.

Bert Kreischer [74:05]: "I have a 63 Impala too. I've had that car for like 20 years."

Tom Segura [75:36]: "I like big trucks, but when I had to buy a new car, I wanted the 76 Cadillac convertible El Dorado."

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7. Therapy and Personal Growth

Timestamp: [35:23] - [38:16]

Bert details his experience with therapy, highlighting how breathwork sessions helped him process trauma and achieve emotional healing. He credits these sessions with significant personal growth and improved mental health.

Bert Kreischer [36:19]: "I did breathwork for an hour and a half and ended up bawling my eyes out. It was a game changer."

Tom shares his own therapeutic journey, emphasizing the importance of confronting deep-seated fears and emotional pain.

Tom Segura [35:30]: "It's my dad. It's my dad."

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8. Upcoming Events and Future Plans

Timestamp: [56:07] - [86:49]

The episode concludes with discussions about upcoming running events and tours. Both hosts express excitement about future 5Ks, charity events, and personal projects aimed at promoting health and community engagement.

Tom Segura [82:24]: "We're doing two bears 5k again in Tampa this year. If you want to come, we'd love to have you."

Bert shares his plans to continue hosting 5Ks to support causes like battling fires in Los Angeles, demonstrating his commitment to using his platform for positive change.

Bert Kreischer [58:43]: "We can raise some good money for it."

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Notable Quotes

• Bert Kreischer [05:03]: "I got sober in a burn center because I was in a plane crash. I never went to rehab. I was sort of forced to get sober."

• Tom Segura [04:19]: "I run or work out to get the poison out. If I don't do it, I'm gonna fog all day."

• Bert Kreischer [36:19]: "Breathwork was a game changer for me."

• Tom Segura [55:36]: "I am pretty normal, but I do like fame, and I think it's gross."

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Conclusion

This episode of "2 Bears, 1 Cave" offers a raw and authentic glimpse into the lives of Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer. Through sharing personal ordeals and triumphs, they inspire listeners to confront their fears, prioritize their health, and seek supportive communities. Bert's story of surviving a plane crash underscores the resilience of the human spirit, while both hosts highlight the transformative power of fitness and therapy in overcoming life's challenges.

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Disclaimer: This summary is based on a provided transcript and aims to encapsulate the key discussions and insights shared during the podcast episode. For the full experience, listening to the original episode is recommended.

Transcript

[Bert Kreischer]

Hello.

[Travis Barker]

I'm bringing my Come Together tour across the pond to the United Kingdom and Ireland in March. March 15th, I'll be in Dublin 16th in Belfast for two shows. The 19th in Manchester, March 20th in London, the 21st, Glasgow, March 22nd in Nottingham, and March 23rd in Cardiff. Tickets and [e-mail] Tour 100%.

[Tom Segura]

What's it called when you get loose skin cut off? Is there a procedure? Look, I don't know what it's called, but Tom's doing that this week, so he can't be here with us. And I have an absolute legend and a fellow runner. That is my favorite part about you, Travis Barker. Dude, I watched your cribs. I watched your reality show. I'm a fan of Big182. Like, I. I'm not into cars, but the kind of cars you're into, I'm into. And I have a fear of flying. Let's fucking go.

[Bert Kreischer]

Let's go, dude.

[Tom Segura]

So real quick, let's talk about running.

[Bert Kreischer]

Okay.

[Tom Segura]

You ran the two bears 5k.

[Bert Kreischer]

I did. I just showed up. Someone had hit me the night before at, like, midnight or one, and they're like, oh, there's a 5K tomorrow. My first 5K I ever ran was your guys's, and I just.

[Tom Segura]

Shut up.

[Bert Kreischer]

I just showed up and I ran. I actually missed the finish line at your guys. 5K.

[Tom Segura]

For real? Yeah. Kept going straight.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah, because I. I, like, saw things online after that, and they said Trav just showed up and ran and just ran right off. It was actually because I. I didn't see the finish line, and I just kept running.

[Tom Segura]

It was the most thing ever. They're like, dude, showed up like, Forrest Gump, ran fast as shit and bounced. And we were like, damn. Tom was like, I got to meet him.

[Bert Kreischer]

It was pretty cool.

[Tom Segura]

I always had an eye out for you, but you were incognito. You were like, hoodie on.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah, I had a hoodie on. I didn't really know. I'm not, like a. Not like a runner that knows what to wear or what I'm supposed to do. I'm just like. I just started running one day. Very Forrest Gump. Like, really? You know? Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Wait, what? Like, I know why I run. I don't know why I run. I just got out of couples therapy, and that was a big mistake. Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

Also, like, your head's all.

[Tom Segura]

Five minutes ago. Yeah, five minutes ago.

[Bert Kreischer]

You seem pretty calm and balanced.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, I have some to work through. Yeah, I have some. Like, legit. Like, one of Those bad ones where you're like, bert, why aren't you talking?

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah, yeah, I feel you.

[Tom Segura]

No, but I. I think I ran because I loved it. And then in therapy, I was like, I think I ran because I was looking for my dad's approval. Like, and so I don't know why I run.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

And I'm running your 5k next week.

[Bert Kreischer]

Oh, amazing. Amazing. That's cool. I did yours. You're doing mine.

[Tom Segura]

I'm so excited. It's in New Orleans February 8th.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yes, February 8th.

[Tom Segura]

It's February 7th.

[Bert Kreischer]

I don't even know.

[Tom Segura]

But what got you, like, you're. You're an interesting dude, because I know you partied. I remember in your reality show, you're just smoking weed, and I was watching you. I have a very lasting memory of you. Your family's in. At the restaurant. I think your in laws were there, and you were in your Escalade, just smoking weed.

[Bert Kreischer]

Hot box in the Cadillac. Yeah. Just trying to get through that. That lunch or that meeting. It was a. It was a wedding meeting, like, about our wedding. And it was just so tedious and repetitive. So I had to get. I had to get high every time I walked into those meetings, you know? But, yeah, no. Years later, when I found out I was having my son, I just literally had this idea, like, I need to be a better human. I need to be stronger.

[Tom Segura]

I need.

[Bert Kreischer]

I need to be faster. I need to be, like, a good example. So I ran to the freeway and back from the house I was living at. It was about four or five miles there and back. And I just started doing that every day because I knew I wanted to be better. And around that same time, I walked into a boxing gym, just started boxing and jumping rope. Like, learned how to jump rope with this boxer named John Brayes, who had a spot in the Valley out here. And I just never have left it. Even when I wasn't sober, when I was doing drugs, I would wake up and run three to five miles a day.

[Tom Segura]

For real?

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah, for real.

[Tom Segura]

So I party every night, usually. And not, no. No drugs, just booze.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

But I run. Mostly. I run or work out to get the poison out. Like, if I. If I don't do it, I'm gonna fog all day, but if I break it where I feel like I'm gonna throw up and I'm, like, sweating, I get. I'm out of it. I'm out of the fog.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

And is that why you did it?

[Bert Kreischer]

I did it to balance out all the bad stuff. I was Doing. I figured I'd start, like, including some good stuff. And then I found knowing I had to run the next day. I couldn't. I couldn't do that much. I needed to, like, not take as many pills, needed to not smoke as much. So just started balancing. And then all of a sudden it teeter, tottered towards. Well, it's a long, long story. Years later, it teeter tottered one way and I never went back.

[Tom Segura]

Wait, when did it teeter, totter? I don't mind hearing this story.

[Bert Kreischer]

I actually just saw it when I was coming to your. Your spot here. We exited, I don't know what exit. What was that? Was it like Van Nuys or something? But I. I passed by the burn center. I was at the Grossman Burn Center. It's not the burn center anymore.

[Tom Segura]

But that's where you were.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah. I have like six months of just memories being there. I had 30 something surgeries. Almost had my foot amputated. So I had, I had all these, these, these memories just driving here really quick. But long story short, I got sober in a burn center because I was in a plane crash. I never went to rehab. Never. I was, I was beginning therapy and I was in the mindset that I wanted to get sober, but I was sort of forced to get sober.

[Tom Segura]

Because they were gonna. They would probably just give you whatever pills you wanted.

[Bert Kreischer]

Well, yeah, I was there and I was. I think I had 30 something surgeries within a five to six month period.

[Tom Segura]

What's a burn surgery?

[Bert Kreischer]

A burn surgery is where, you know, they would take because, like, all the. The back of my leg, 70% of my body was burnt.

[Tom Segura]

Like, show me. Like, not show me, but like, like where, Like I'm looking at your arms and they don't look that bad.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah, you could kind of tell, like. Oh, yeah, I tattooed over everything. My leg, My legs really tell, but my legs all the way up to like the top of my back was all severely burnt. And what they do is they take good skin from the front of your body and from the top of my back, and they use it to add to the skin where you were burnt.

[Tom Segura]

So would they. This is a really stupid question, but were they mindful to just get the whole tattoo and bring it down?

[Bert Kreischer]

No, they can't. No, it's like a cheese grater. They, like, they just cheese grade your skin off and then they place it. It's. I mean, it's amazing what they do. Like, I. The Dr. Grossman is the best at what he does, and so is the, The Augusta Burn Center. I was in. In. In Georgia. But yeah, they basically use the good skin on your body to replace all the burnt skin.

[Tom Segura]

Do you know. Do you know sometimes. Do you know how sometimes, like, you see a video on Instagram and it's someone in a wheelchair and you always go like, man, I can't imagine that being me. Was there a part where when it first started, you're like, wait, this is fucking me. This isn't my story.

[Bert Kreischer]

I mean, for sure, it started off like that started off like that. Like, I can't believe this happened and I'm in a burn center and. But then when. When. When drugs started, like, wearing off, and I started figuring out that I also lost, like, three of my best friends that was. And the. And the two pilots that were in the plane, I was just like, it's not really. It's. It's even darker. It's not about me. It's about every. It's just about everything. Like, I just lost trust in the world. I was like, how did this happen? Yeah, I just. I didn't. I was such. In a bad mental place.

[Tom Segura]

But you seem so good right now.

[Bert Kreischer]

No. Through all that, did a bunch of post traumatic work, fell in love with running and.

[Tom Segura]

Is that why you're putting on these 5Ks? Because jelly and I. Jelly and I were talking about it today, and he was like. He's like, I don't know why Trav's doing this. He's like, I think he just. He's like, I don't know if he realizes he's saving lives. Like your fans. They're fans of yours that go, I might get the chance to meet him. You know what? I'm trained for a 5K. And then they get in shape, maybe they fall in love with it, and then they go out and run your 5K, which. The one you did in LA was everywhere. Everyone talked about that. That was like the hottest 5K. I mean, it's like, I'm into 5Ks. I'm into races. I grew up running. My dad ran marathons, so I grew. Grew up going to them. Okay, what's your favorite? Okay, hold on. What's your favorite race to run?

[Bert Kreischer]

I don't have one.

[Tom Segura]

Like. Like, no. Like, what distance?

[Bert Kreischer]

Oh, I mean, the half marathon's pretty cool.

[Tom Segura]

Half marathon's gangster. It's the best race. It's the cuz. It is an accomplishment. Correct?

[Bert Kreischer]

For sure. Oh, I felt so accomplished after doing it. It was. I think I did your guys 5k and one other 5k and then I did the half marathon.

[Tom Segura]

Really?

[Bert Kreischer]

So, yeah, I think for me, it was after everything I went through, they. They actually told me I wouldn't run. They said, you won't run again. You're, you know, from all the stuff that happened to your. Your foot and your grass, you're not gonna be running again. Might not be playing drums again. So I just started, like, checking off everything they said I couldn't do, like, bamboo. Bam. And that's where I started getting addicted to running. And then through these 5Ks, I meet people that are telling me they've never thought about running or walking a 5K. And I have all these people that aren't normally outside, aren't normally doing any kind of exercise, that are out there just, like, doing it and doing things they didn't think they could are capable of. So that was really cool. And then I just. Like, your guys, 5K. Gosh, who did I run with? That was a beast.

[Tom Segura]

Was it Cam Haynes?

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Do you know, Cam?

[Bert Kreischer]

We've talked before, just, like, on Instagram, and right as I go to the front, they're like, hey, you want to. You want to set off the race? And I'm like, yeah, yeah, for sure. And then he's right there and he's like, hey, what's your mile? And I'm like, I don't know. What's my mile? Like, I don't. Like, I don't really run. Like, yeah, I don't want. I don't even know what he's saying. It's like. It's like another language to me. And then he's like, it was just kind of like. I don't remember what it was, but to me, how I translated it, he was like, try and keep up, you know, that's what my head was like. So I ran my ass off, just basically trying to tell him, you know? Yeah, and. And that's what I've noticed. Every race, there's someone like him that just keeps me going, and I'm competitive with that. I don't even know before the race, it just turns into your person, and you guys motivate each other and you guys push each other, and I love that. Like, I'm a. I'm really into mma. I'm into boxing. I'm into watching people train. I'm into the hard work that goes into something like that. So, yeah, that's what running turned into for me.

[Tom Segura]

You know what I do on a 5k? I find a nice ass and I follow it. There you go, dude. It'll get you through like the when you get to like mile 20, mile 22 on the LA Marathon. Yeah, I'm running down Sepulveda. I don't even like driving down Spoeta. Running down it is a right. There's nothing to look at. Yeah, nothing but a great ass right in front of me and that's that. And it was a grown woman like, like a, like, like an executive type.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yes.

[Tom Segura]

But it's nice jogging pants on like long and it's the 22 miles is like right. That's like that's where the make it or break it. And I'm watching dudes fall off to the side like zombies like sitting on the corner. Their legs are season up. And that woman shit her pants in front of me and it went down and up and I went, I got to go. I got to go. This show was sponsored by DraftKings. This ain't the little itty bitty teeny tiny bowl. It is the Super Bowl 59. Get on on the Actions DraftKings sportsbook, an official sports betting partner of the Super Bowl 59. Scoring touchdowns is key to hoisting the Vince Lombardi Trophy, and you have a shot to score big by betting on them at DraftKings Sportsbook, the number one place to bet on touchdowns. New DraftKings customers can bet $5 to get $200 in bonus bets instantly. The super bowl is such a great game. It is a time when everyone gets together. You get your DraftKings sportsbook app. You download the app right now, you get in with all your friends and you place your bets and you will love the game. I'm telling you, I bet on every super bowl and betting on. Download the DraftKings sportsbook app and use Code Bears. That's Code Bears for new customers. Get $200 in bonus bets instantly. When you bet just five bucks only on DraftKings sportsbook, the crown is yours. Gambling problem. Call 1-800-GAMBLER in New York, call 877-8-HOPENY or text hopeny467-369 In Connecticut, help is available for problem gambling. Call 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org Please play responsibly on behalf of Boot Hill Casino and resort in Kansas. 21 eligibility varies by jurisdiction. Void. In Ontario, bonus bets expire 168 hours after issuance. For additional terms and responsible gaming resources, see DKNG Co Audio.

[Travis Barker]

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[Bert Kreischer]

How many marathons have you done?

[Tom Segura]

1. I'll never do another one.

[Bert Kreischer]

Really?

[Tom Segura]

I'll never do another one. It was I did it. I did it out of a bet with Joe because Joe didn't think I Joe said you can't run a marathon. And I was like, I do it. No training. I was like out in my head. I was like the native Americans walk from Florida, Oklahoma. I think I can.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

The human body is impressive, of course. And so, I mean, I don't think I had the same motivation they did, but. But I, I said, you know, I, I think I can, I can run a marathon, no training. And so I went out and ran the LA marathon with no training. And, and, and it was, it felt good, but it was, I, I, I enjoyed the half marathon the most. Yeah, Half marathon was the same lift, in my opinion, with a better party afterwards.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

5K is like Chinese food. It's.

[Bert Kreischer]

Everyone loves it.

[Tom Segura]

Everyone loves it.

[Bert Kreischer]

I do them, like, the day of my show every. Everywhere we go, you know, because I'm running. Like, I run. I run three miles every day. I try to.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

So especially on tour, I kind of got this thing in my head where I have to do it before the show. So I'm already doing it. Might as well do it with as many people as I can.

[Tom Segura]

So you're putting on 5Ks every time before a show?

[Bert Kreischer]

I did one in LA right before our Sofi Stadium show, and then I did one in New York right before our show there.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

And then, yeah, this one, I happen to be out in New Orleans for a Blink show, so after seeing everything that happened with the fires, I'm like, can't run here to benefit Los Angeles for the fire, so I'm gonna do it out there.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, so this is benefiting your 5K is benefiting the fires out here?

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, hell yeah. Then my whole team is doing it. Fuck, yeah. And we're paying the entry fee? Hell, yeah. I mean, I'm not gonna pay it, but they'll pay. Dude, can I tell you a wild story?

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah, of course.

[Tom Segura]

So who's the band? You may not remember the band that opened for you guys in LA when you guys played, I think Sofi maybe, or the Forum or. Who's the band this.

[Bert Kreischer]

This last time?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, this recently.

[Bert Kreischer]

Pierce the Veil.

[Tom Segura]

Pierce the Veil. Pierce the Veil. So my daughter says to me, and he pierced the Veil tickets. My Daughter's now, she's 18. She was 17 at the time. And he pierced the Veil tickets. And I was like, okay. And so you know how you do. And I'm sure you do. Like, you call your agent, you're like, oh, and can I get Pierce the Veil? I'm not familiar with them. My daughter's obsessed. And she was like. They're like, yeah, we got her. We get great seats for Pierce the Veil. She comes home that night, and I was like, how's Pierce the Veil. She's like, have you heard of a band called Blink 182? I go, yeah. She goes, dad, they're fucking amazing. She goes, we went to see Pierce the Veil. They went on before Blink 182. Blink 182, dad, they're incredible. And I was like, wait, hold on. You went to a Blink 182 concert thinking you were there for Pierce the Veil? I thought that was so fucking funny that my little girl would go come home. Just lit up.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah, I mean, it's probably her age group. Probably is more familiar with Pierce. And then we were just a. A bonus that she didn't know about. Maybe. I don't know that. I'll take it, though. That's good.

[Tom Segura]

It was cool. Yeah. I just realized.

[Bert Kreischer]

I thought you were going to tell me she was covered in sperm confetti and you were going to be like, what happened? Why is that happening? But, yeah, we. I always think about it when I'm at shows. Like I was at Billie Eilish and just confetti drops and we have sperm confetti. So everyone leaves covered in sperm.

[Tom Segura]

So I can't wait to drop that order.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, yeah. It is sperm confetti. That's crazy. So that's. That's cool, though. I would. I was thinking about that for my next tour. I don't know when that'll be, but I was like, what if you did put on a 5k every. Every. Because I run.

[Bert Kreischer]

So cool.

[Tom Segura]

I run. I lift weights every day on tour. I have. I have a. What's your schedule on tour look like?

[Bert Kreischer]

I wake up. I usually walk for an hour, just kind of clear my mind. And then I'll have some kind of caffeine, like Matcha or coffee, and then I'll hit some weights and then run.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

Hit my three. Take a nap once in a while. If I can doze off, it's like five minutes, even if it's on the way to the venue. I might not even be sleeping, but my eyes are closed. I'm listening to something.

[Tom Segura]

When I was. They were talking about your fear of flying. I have a fear of flying. I have a real.

[Bert Kreischer]

Are you always in a bus, too?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, I live in a bus.

[Bert Kreischer]

Oh, so you. I think we. We used to have the same bus driver from time to time.

[Tom Segura]

Ron.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Black dude.

[Bert Kreischer]

The best. He sounds like he's from the bay, right? He sounds like E40. Every time he talks, it's the best because he would always tell me, yeah, I'm driving. Bert I'm driving. Bert.

[Tom Segura]

Ron's like a brother to me. He's like a brother to me. I mean, we're so close. We actually. We have. We. We stopped working together for a while, and he just took me to Vegas, and we had a great dinner, and he was like, man, Bert, we got too close, and I. And I apologize if I ever did stuff wrong. I go, like, what? He goes, like that time I pulled a gun on you. I apologize. He pulled a gun on me one time.

[Bert Kreischer]

Oh, my God.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. Ron and I got. Ron and I are like brothers. I love him to death, man. I love him to death. He is. Oh, man, I. You've got me off track, because I'm thinking of Ron stories. First time, first. The day I fell in love with Ron, some girl snuck on the bus and snuck into my room, and. And I'm pretty public about. I'm open about, like, I'm. I don't cheat on my wife. I mean, I think everyone should be, but, like, I should know that, like, I'm married, and I'm happily married. So my cousin found her, and we pulled the bus over, like, yo, this isn't cool. We got to get you off. We had. Then we had to wait for an Uber to come get her at some bus stop, and so. Bus station or whatever. Bus. You know, gas station. And Ron's just like this. Like, she was hot, too. And Uber picks her up. Uber picks her up. And Ron's sitting in the bus chair, and he turns down. He kind of holds court in that. In that little doorway. And he goes, bert, can I tell you why you're a man of good fortune? I said, why is that? And he goes, because you just said no to that sweet pussy. I said, really? And he goes, yeah, man. Man, this. This job, it fucked up my first marriage. I go, you're just a bus driver, Ron. And he goes, you'd be shocked. What a Will do for Nelly headband. I was like, that's my new best friend. Oh, that's my new best friend.

[Bert Kreischer]

That's so wrong, too.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, I'm a. I'm a bus guy. And I heard that when you were in Europe, you're a boat guy.

[Bert Kreischer]

So for years, it was. I bought a tour bus right after my accident.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

While I was in the burns.

[Tom Segura]

Wait, can we talk about your accident for a second?

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah, if you want to.

[Tom Segura]

Horrific fear of flying. I've had it forever, and I think I'll die probably from my lifestyle on planes before I ever die in a plane crash. What? How Quick. Does it happen?

[Bert Kreischer]

It was quick. Everything was really quick. I was. I was like you. I was white knuckling every fight. Even before my. My plane crash, I already had a fear of flying. Almost to the point where I always think back and I'm like, gosh, did I manifest this? Because I was always. It was just always in the back of my head. I was always afraid of flying. I was always avoiding it. And then, yeah, it happened. It all happened pretty quick.

[Tom Segura]

It happened on takeoff, right?

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Tire blew out and do you get thrown around the plane so it's private? So I'm imagining you're probably not wearing seatbelts.

[Bert Kreischer]

No, I was wearing a seatbelt. Oh, I was wearing a seatbelt. And yeah, I was the only one awake. Like, I just was like. Because I'm. I was the only kind of nervous flyer too. But yeah, I wasn't sober. I had taken a few pills, had a drink, smoked a couple blunts in order to even get on the plane and go home that night. Because I was like, ah, we have a. We have a commercial flight tomorrow. Like, it's just whatever. Everyone wanted to get home. So we booked a private. Yeah. Tires blew on takeoff. Plane went out of control, caught fire, and then hit an embankment. And then everyone was dead on impact besides me and Am. He was the only person I could get to because he was on the side of me. And I went forward to try to get to everyone else and my arms caught fire, my hands caught fire. And then that's when I jumped out of the emergency exit, jumped into the jet that was full of fuel.

[Tom Segura]

Were you able to do the thing that they say?

[Bert Kreischer]

Fuck, yeah. I got out of that plane so quick, like, really? My fighter flight was on. I grabbed DJ Am, woke him up, opened that door. Yeah, well, he. Yeah, I had to shake him. He was the only person I could get to. And then opened that door and then jumped out and.

[Tom Segura]

You jumped in the jet fuel?

[Bert Kreischer]

I unfortunately jumped right into the jet fuel, yeah. And then. Yeah, my whole body caught fire. Ran for some distance alongside a highway and then couldn't figure out how to get my body off fire. And then someone in the car was like, stop, drop and roll. And I could hear it out of every. Out of all the noise and the sirens and everything that was going on. I did that. And then Am patted out like the last bit. It was like my, my socks, because they were like super, you know, soaked in fuel. And then. Yeah. And then a few seconds later, like maybe a minute later, like, the plane like completely like burst into flames and then. Yeah, that was, that was pretty much everything. But it happened so fast. Like taking off is the worst thing for me. I'm back flying now. It's been almost 17 years. I've flown for the last two years, but takeoff is like the worst thing imaginable for me.

[Tom Segura]

You know what, what got, how did you get back into a plane?

[Bert Kreischer]

Well, I spent a lot of time off of it, like you said. Took the bus, would drive from LA to New York to get on a boat from New York to London, which was another 10 days. So I did all this for so long.

[Tom Segura]

You know how sexy I find that, like I, I go that, give me that life. I'll do that. Yeah, I would love that if you, if you told me, you know, you got a show in London. But here's the deal. Take a train to Chicago, you're going to drive to New York and then we're getting you on a bus, a boat across the Atlantic. Yeah, I'd be like, gyo, man. I'm not doing that sober. I'm doing that drunk. This show is sponsored by Via. Let's be real. 2025 has been all about change. Whether it's work, personal stuff, or just the daily grind, it can be hard to keep up. But here's the deal. When things get hectic, we don't have to go through it alone. Embrace the power of nature and elevate your everyday with via. Trusted by over half a million happy customers, VIA is the Swiss army knife of wellness, dedicated to harnessing the natural benefits of hemp to create high quality wellness products. Whether you're looking to improve your sleep, focus recovery and add a little pep to your step, VIA has something for you. So if you're 21 and over, check out our link to Vi's website, link in our description and use code bears for 15% off. And if you're new to Via, you get a free gift of your choice. I'm telling you, these things are awesome. They also have some, some, some non THC products that Leanne uses for sleep. And let me tell you something, she's sleeping amazing. Mostly. Mostly because she's sleeping in a different room. I'm snore pretty bad. If you're 21 and over, check out the link to VIA in our description and use code bears to receive 15% off. And if you're new to Via, get a free gift of your choice. After your purchase are going to say, hey, where did you hear about us? Please support our show and tell them that we sent you enhance your every.

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[Bert Kreischer]

Did five or six transatlantic crossings.

[Tom Segura]

Shut the fuck up.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah. Is it rough in the Queen Mary too? There's times that it's rough, but it's not bad. I mean it beat flying for me for a long time. I would just have to leave two weeks before a tour to get there and then the guys would leave, you know, obviously the day before tour was over. It take me two weeks to get home, you know, so.

[Tom Segura]

God dang.

[Bert Kreischer]

But, but yeah, I mean I, I love, I loved, I love traveling in a bus. And then, then something hit me around the same time I met my wife. I was like, man, fuck anything that has power over me. Like, I was just weeding all that around out of my life. Like I was running towards anything I was afraid of at the time. I was just like, fuck this. That, like I'm not going to be weak. Like nothing's going to have power over me. And flying was the next thing that I was just like, I'm going to do it. And then I had told her, I said, just surprise me when it's going to happen. I'm down to try it. So she didn't tell me. Went to an airport, flew to Mexico.

[Tom Segura]

And it was like private or commercial?

[Bert Kreischer]

Private, but yeah. And which was even kind of that was kind of sketchy.

[Tom Segura]

What size plane?

[Bert Kreischer]

I mean, it's different, too, because it's like, it's my wife's sister's plane, so I know the plane's legit. I know, like, it went through maintenance, so that was.

[Tom Segura]

That one doesn't have a sister. God damn it.

[Bert Kreischer]

Damn it.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

No, but that was pretty. I was pretty comfortable because I knew the situation. I knew who owned the plane. But, yeah, my flight to Mexico was cool. Flight back was cool. And then I just started knocking them off. You know, my third flight that I took, we started losing cabin pressure. It was terrible. And I'm like. And I feel it. I'm like, babe, my ears. It feels like we're landing right now. She's like, you think so? And I'm like, 1000%. Like, your ears aren't plugged. And then I'm looking up, and the. The door to the plane is open. And I see them. They're like. I see them stressing, and I see homie, grab the oxygen. And I'm like, babe, I'm going up to talk to him. Something's up. Go up there. And he's like, you're right. We're losing cabin pressure. We're trying to talk to so and so we're trying to figure it out. If we can't figure it out in the next five minutes, we're going to land. Luckily, like, five, 10 minutes later, they figured it out. Plane was okay, but that was the only close call that I've had since my. My accident, which kind of set me back for a few. A few flights. But, yeah, I figured that there's, like, a million things that could kill me. Right. You know, being in a bus, they say, is way more dangerous for us than being in a plane. I just think they say, yeah. I just feel like it's a little less. Just. It's just not as horrible. Horrific as a plane crash. Yeah, a bus crash.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. On a bus. I just. It. Maybe it rolls and I think I got some chances.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

A lot of pillows in my room. And then. And then. But you have no idea how. I've had some rough flights, and I've flown a lot. I've flown a lot, but I. I've refused. I try desperately not to fly private now because I'm. I just have never enjoyed it. And I'm paying so much money to do something I really, really hate. And I don't get to fly in your sister's. Her sister's good plane.

[Bert Kreischer]

I'll send you her number, maybe?

[Tom Segura]

No, no, I know her dad. Pretty. Or mom. You know what I mean? Yeah, pretty. Well, I know Caitlyn, Right? Is Caitlyn. The sisters?

[Bert Kreischer]

Kate? Yeah, some of the sisters. The one that's got Kendall and Kylie.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. And then. But whose plane is it?

[Bert Kreischer]

Two of the. Two of the girls. Two of the girls have planes.

[Tom Segura]

Jesus Christ.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

What's that? Like, you're like. I mean. I mean. I mean, this. I hope this comes off right. But, like, they're kind of like American royalty.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

That family. And you're like a regular kid who didn't go to college.

[Bert Kreischer]

Just. Just played the. Out of some drums and. Yeah. Played in punk rock bands my whole life.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. And then you just roll into that family, and it's. It's got to be a fucking whirlwind.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah. I mean, I'm not. It's not like I live in the same neighborhood as them or anything, and I like all them. Like, I knew Kim before I knew Court, like, you know, my wife. So I don't know. I'm just unapologetically myself, so I never feel, like, out of place or whatever, you know?

[Tom Segura]

They don't seem like people that would put you out of place.

[Bert Kreischer]

No, they're. They're all. They're all super normal, too. Like, they're not. I don't. I don't know what anybody thinks about him, but maybe it's because I'm so close to everybody.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

That they're just. They're just normal people like us.

[Tom Segura]

It's like. I mean, this for a lack of. My only experience would be, is like, people talk about Rogan. Like. Like he's this huge star. And I just know Joe. Like, I. I have actually a hard time wrapping my head around, like, he might have affected an election.

[Bert Kreischer]

Like, I go, yeah, he's awesome.

[Tom Segura]

Joe is cool. Shit. Your episode you did with him was really cool because you were like. You were talking about. I think you were talking about your vegan.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah, and I didn't know. I didn't know. Joe goes for vegans pretty hard, you know, now that I listen to Joe, like, I listen to other ones, and it'll just be like, oh, yeah, I heard so and so is vegan. Oh, gosh, why doesn't he eat a fucking steak? Whatever. I'm like, damn, Joe didn't go hard on me, and I appreciate it, you know, because, like, I don't know. I didn't know that about him. But a lot of people afterwards were like, damn, you know, you're one of the only people he didn't go at that's vegan. And I don't know why, but, yeah, we had the same Muay Thai coach, Sean, so we had, like, a lot of people in common and, like, some boxing guys.

[Tom Segura]

Did boxing help? Does. Do you have a problem with confrontation? Oh, I do.

[Bert Kreischer]

Really?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, bad. And Joe told me if I got into Jiu Jitsu, it would help with that.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

But I have a hard time with confrontations. I'll just avoid it. I'll avoid it entirely. Like, someone can do something mean to me, and I just. I could just get vengeful, and then I just go. I'll just talk behind their back.

[Bert Kreischer]

No, I don't know. I think it helped. Like, I think MMA and boxing and Jiu Jitsu is. I think it humbles you.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah. All of them humble you. I feel like it kind of controls your anger and your attitude or. Or thinking you're invincible. Like, it was very humbling for me, and I. And I. And I love it, you know?

[Tom Segura]

Wait, how did you get to here? Because, like, I always, like, you are probably one of the most well rounded, grounded dudes I've ever had a conversation with in just 30 minutes and 16 seconds. I'm like, God, man, I want. I want this. Like, what. What pill does he take in the morning to get this? Like, I want to. I don't want to have nothing, to have power over me. I want to be like. I want to be like, it. I'll just do it. Want to. Like that, like. But you weren't always like this, right?

[Bert Kreischer]

Mm. I mean, I. I know. I know the moment where. Where I figured out, like, anything I was afraid of, I was gonna kind of. Or anything that was causing trauma, too. Like, my. My plane accident caused a lot of trauma that I didn't really deal with. And I was in a massage, actually, one time. You like massages? Yeah, it's the best.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

So I was in a massage in this massage therapist. She's like, you're holding on to a lot of shit. And I was just like, you know the stuff you don't want to hear. And I'm like, what? You know? And then she's like, you should try breath work. And I was like, okay. And then my friend Lucas, who wasn't my friend yet, but there was this guy who, like, tattooed head to toe, he would hit me sometimes.

[Tom Segura]

Wait, wait. I think he hit me up.

[Bert Kreischer]

Really?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. He's like, did he do the Paul brothers? Teach him how to breathe? Yeah, he hit me up. He's like, yo, I can help you. I can help you breathe.

[Bert Kreischer]

He's the truth. So, like, he. He always hit me, and I'm like, this guy looks like me. He's going to teach me how to breathe.

[Tom Segura]

Whatever.

[Bert Kreischer]

I don't know. I don't know. You know how that happens sometimes? And I'm like, okay. And then one day, I just hit him back, and I'm like, yeah, let's do it. And even going into it, I had all these restrictions in my head. Like, I'm not going to. I'm not going to fully let go. I'm not going to fully immerse myself into this and, you know, this and that. I think I was kind of a little nervous about it, and then I did it. Ended up doing breathwork for an hour and a half with them. Ended up bawling my eyes out like, I couldn't even control it. You're almost in, like, a. You feel high. You feel like you're on another planet once you get into, like, the rhythm of breath work. And I started dealing with all this trauma, and it was such a game changer for me, and I did it. I actually did it the day before we flew. My wife and I did it together, and it was like, just every time something, like, people that have passed came to me, like, it's. It's been so healing, and I. And I didn't really. I didn't really know anything about it or believe in it, but it was. It was really helpful for me.

[Tom Segura]

This is how broken I am. I heard, what is an hour, 45 minutes of breath work? I go, can we do that in, like, 15?

[Bert Kreischer]

No, I thought the same thing, but, you know, all those things that you, like, think about, and you're like, fuck, I don't want to do that.

[Tom Segura]

Everything.

[Bert Kreischer]

I just have to. I heard her on a podcast the other day. I'm like. She said. She said, you basically got to pretend like, well, I could die tomorrow. So I am gonna do it, and I'm gonna do it, you know, 110%. And everything I'm gonna. I'm gonna kind of think about, because kind of tomorrow's not always there, you know? And I started thinking about that just with whatever. Anything that I had coming up, like, fuck, I don't want to go to rehearsal. Shit, could be your last rehearsal. Go kill it. You know, that. That kind of mindset. So.

[Tom Segura]

Wow, okay. All right.

[Bert Kreischer]

Just get the lazy out of us, you know? Or the. The hard shit. The hard shit's. The good shit.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, I like. I like. I do that with working out. I said to Jelly today on our walk, well, a friend of ours passed away, Kenny Flores. He's on my podcast, the Sweetest Guy in the World.

[Bert Kreischer]

And I went to saw that the other day. Yeah, I'm sorry.

[Tom Segura]

I didn't know how much I meant to him.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

And I met his friends and his family last night, or his friends, mostly. And they were explaining how him doing my podcast. We did. Something's Burning was such a big deal. And then I saw a post today, and I said to Jelly, today, I was like, you know, I'm bummed because I. I really liked hanging out with him, and I was hoping we could party one more time or a couple times, I think. I was like, well, run into him a few more times. We'll party a few more times. I said to Jelly, I was like, I know you don't live forever, but I was like, I thought he'd be here tomorrow. Yeah, I don't like. But that's how life works, is. It's just sometimes you're not there for tomorrow.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah. Yeah. I feel like you have to seize the day and, like, not think of things like, I have to do this more like, I get to do this. You know, it's like a blessing.

[Tom Segura]

I get to do ad reads.

[Bert Kreischer]

You get to do ad reads. You get to do therapy.

[Tom Segura]

Get to do therapy. Fuck off.

[Bert Kreischer]

No, seriously, this.

[Tom Segura]

I walked out of therapy. Real cool. I can't wait to talk to Travis Barker. And my wife's like, I'm so sorry.

[Bert Kreischer]

What. What. What started you being afraid of flying?

[Tom Segura]

When I was one. Okay. Two things happened within the same week, I think. Was it Luke Campanella, the catcher for the Yankees, died in a plane crash? And I walked into my dad's office and I said, what year was Luke Campanella? What year did he die? Roy Campanella. That can't be it. No, it was a different catcher. Maybe it was. I forget. There was a famous person who died in a plane crash. And I went into my dad and I said, wait, what does that mean? And he said, he's dead? And I said, did he have kids? And he goes, yeah. And he said. I said, what's that mean? He goes, he'll never see them again. And I was like, hold on, what's that, like, forever? He was like, yeah. And then we flew to maybe been Roberto Clemente, and that was. I was zero. I was zero. Then I forget my dad told me that story. That's one of the things. And then the first plane flight I took, as they were taking off, I said to my mom, I said, okay, okay, that's high enough right there. And we're taking off. She goes, honey, we're going higher. I go, no, no, no, no, we're good right here. We're off the. We're flying. And they go, we're going real high. And when we went above the clouds, I just started fucking panicking for the whole flight. Here's the problem. I don't mean to take up this. I want to hear you talk, but I'll tell you this because we both have a fear. I was terrified of flying. The last sober flight I took, I was 18 years old, and we were flying to the Virgin Islands, me and my whole family, as a graduation president to me and my mom. Oh, God, this is getting into therapy shit. My dad and my sister were making fun of me because I was scared, and I started crying uncontrollably. It was terror. I was a panic attack, and they were still making fun of me, and it was bad. And then when we landed, my dad goes, that shit was real. And I was like, yeah. And on our flight home, my dad took me to the bar at the hotel we were at, and I was panicking that we had to fly home. My dad goes, buddy, let's get you a couple rum runners. You'll be fine. And he bought me two rum runners, and I drank them. When we got to the airport, I was like, I could use, like, one more and I should be good. He bought me two more. I killed him. I've never flown sober since. I've flown sober since. I've done it a couple times. But that started my problem drinking on planes.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah. Yeah. That started my drug problem flying before my accident, in order for me, number one, just to leave my kids and go on tour for three months in Europe, I'd have to take a handful of pills, smoke a blunt, and have a shot of tequila. What was your favorite pill just to get in? Norco's, oxycontin, Percocet.

[Tom Segura]

I was a Xanax guy.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah, Xanax. Any. Anything, really. Anything that'll numb me. Yeah. And that's what led to my drug problem to begin with, was flying. It's kind of weird. And then at the end, when I don't need to fly anymore, I have no drug problem, you know, I didn't need to really numb myself anymore. So same thing and same kind of similar story. Like, I think I was terrified of flying from the time I was a kid, because my first flight, my mom, though, was the nervous flier who was bawling and was so scared the whole flight. So it taught me I'm seeing her so afraid of this. So I was just terrified of it my whole life. We didn't have any money, so never really had to worry about flying anywhere until I was in a van and we were like, touring.

[Tom Segura]

God dang. It's crazy, the trauma that our parents pass on to us.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

That was what my therapy was about.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah, it was wild. It's so wild.

[Tom Segura]

It's crazy.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

The therapist pinpointed something, like, so quick, and my wife already knew the answer. And she was just sitting there like, just this, like this marmy, like. And I was like, just say it. She's dying to say it. It's my dad. Okay. It's my dad.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Therapy's pretty. Pretty amazing, though.

[Tom Segura]

It really is.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. But you seem pretty fucking all together. You in great shape. Do you go to the doctor a lot?

[Bert Kreischer]

I mean, when. When I need to. I just try to. Like, we're doing the pre nouveau scan coming up here, so that'll be interesting. I'm gonna do that, but interesting.

[Tom Segura]

You know, that would be a. I.

[Bert Kreischer]

Know I'm gonna be scared. Yeah, I'm gonna be.

[Tom Segura]

I'm.

[Bert Kreischer]

There's a part of me that's scary. I keep canceling it, to be honest with you. It was like, I was supposed to do it this morning and I'm like, nah, you know, I gotta do Bert's podcast. I have this vans panel and I'm playing this show tonight. It's not. It's just a weird morning for me, babe. And then the other day, they were like. They were like, we were supposed to do the. The scan and then they.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, they put you in that thing?

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah, I have this filter from when I was in the burn center in Augusta, Georgia. And it's an IVC filter, which is another terrible story that they put in me because when I got. When I got to the hospital, they're like, you have tons of blood clots. We need to put an IBC filter in you. Well, it's an IBC filter that they put in 80 year olds because it has a life expectancy of 20 years. So I had that in me when I was like 30. So I don't know when this IBC filter is gonna break, but they're like, we need the info on that before you can get the pre nuvo scan. And I was like, Babe, I don't have the info. We can't do it, you know, so I've been avoiding it, but I am gonna get to it, like, next week. I kind of just want to know.

[Tom Segura]

If my assistant's listening right now. He's going like, they might be the same person.

[Bert Kreischer]

Really?

[Tom Segura]

I schedule my doctor's appointment, and then I'm like. And for me, it's always like, liver enzymes. Like, I need some time to not drink so I can go in. So I'm healthy.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

And so I'll be like, yeah, you know what? That's a bad weekend for me because I got a couple. Something's burning. You know what? Let's just push it. And at one point, it got so bad that my. My assistant's like, hey, we have to do this. I go. I like. I'm like, I'm not asking, I'm telling. And I was like, we push it by two weeks. That's that. I'm. And I was like, whoa. This is. This is me running away from something I don't want to deal with.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

God.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yep.

[Tom Segura]

All right, let's talk about something fun.

[Bert Kreischer]

Okay.

[Tom Segura]

Cadillacs.

[Bert Kreischer]

Cadillacs. Yeah, Cadillacs. Chevy's anything. Gm. Anything. General Motors, really?

[Tom Segura]

So. So were you always a car guy?

[Bert Kreischer]

I was. Same thing. Like, my dad loved old cars. Like, growing up. We didn't.

[Tom Segura]

Brothers and sisters.

[Bert Kreischer]

I do. I have two older sisters.

[Tom Segura]

Oh. Oh. Do you, like, do. Oh. You make so much sense to me. You got. Yeah. Cuz if you saw. I only work with women. Female energy is my energy. It's like, I. I feel like they're. I'm a little safer with women. I don't know. I have, like. My tour manager is a woman. My manager's a woman. Yeah. And. And. And then I. I think I gotta be honest with you. I think I would so enjoy being married to Kardashian because all that female energy in that house, I'd be like, I'm home. Dress me in black and let's go out.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah, no, my house is pretty much. I mean, we have seven kids together. Half boys, half girls.

[Tom Segura]

Your daughter has the coolest name ever.

[Bert Kreischer]

Which one? Alabama. Thank you. Yeah, she was named after true romance.

[Tom Segura]

I ran into Patricia Arquette the other night.

[Bert Kreischer]

You did?

[Tom Segura]

And I was like, alabama best. The coolest name. My daughter's name is Georgia.

[Bert Kreischer]

Really?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. Alabama's a badass. We couldn't pick Alabama because my wife grew up in Georgia, but that's a badass name. Keep going. I'm sorry.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah. No, my dad had old like an old Cadillac growing up in the, in our backyard. That, that didn't work. But I knew how much it meant to him. So he would always show me like old Chevy trucks that he had when he was younger and go to car shows and stuff as a kid. And so. Yeah, I just, I love old cars.

[Tom Segura]

I'm not so like I. I'm not a car guy. Right. Like, I don't care what car I drive. I mean, I care, but like I never, I couldn't even tell you what the numbers are on the back of my car. Like, I know it's a Mercedes, but I don't know what it is.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Got it through a broker, so that totally makes sense. A track. So just give me that one. Okay. I like it. My wife has, is a car person. She hasn't one and I, I wouldn't tell you, I couldn't tell you what those numbers are. I know I like big trucks, but when I had to buy a new car, I was like, I really want like the 76 Cadillac convertible El Dorado. Like that's the sexy car to me.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

It's long still. It's two door. It's just. But it's comfortable for four people. It's just a badass car. And then I started looking around and then I just got lost in the weeds. I was like, I was like, there's so many.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah, you really gotta like figure out there's so many options. It really is like what's. What cries out to you, you know? Yeah. To me it's like. Yeah. Boring cars are not it for me. Like, you know what I mean? Like, I'm like. Yeah. Like Impalas. I think growing up where I grew up, there was like a lot of lowriders and.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

And hot rods and stuff. So I have a few Impalas. I just picked up 96 impala, which is like the last year they made the big body Impala.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

And it has 454 miles on it. It's beautiful. But it's kind of a car. Unless you really know, people might mistake it for a bucket and just think it's just like, you know.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, is that it?

[Bert Kreischer]

No, that's my 63. I have a 63 Impala too. I've had that car for like 20 years. 63 got a sexy Grand National GNX.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, shut up. Grand National GNX. Pull that up. That's so. Is that like the Monte Carlo almost?

[Bert Kreischer]

It looks like the money car, but it's same thing. It's like Most people would just be like, it's a bucket. Yeah. But it's like, so wait, is this.

[Tom Segura]

The car that they were? I. I deep dove. I follow a lot of black dudes in Atlanta that restore cars, but black dudes tastes in cars are unique. They're very unique. And the Monte Carlo is, like, one of the most coveted cars in that community. And. And Carlos Miller. Shout out to Carlos Miller. He's from 85 South. You familiar? They're. They're comedians, but they have a great podcast called 85 South. You should meet Carlos because he's a big car guy, too.

[Bert Kreischer]

Oh, nice.

[Tom Segura]

But we were talking about it and the Monte, Carlos, or the. Or the GNX's. I think they released so few of them that then they would then put out a newsletter to go. Hey, just so you know, we're doing, like an upgrade, so if you want to bring your car in. It was, like, fascinating. It was almost like. It was almost like, like, like niche culture before the Internet.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Like, I think that's the coolest thing.

[Bert Kreischer]

I mean, I think once. I think the Internet makes those cars cool because people start talking about it. Yo, there was only 500 of these. You know what I mean? McLaren designed the engine. It's just like, it's. There's not a better. There's not a better car, is there?

[Tom Segura]

Do you have a white whale, like a car where you're still looking for it?

[Bert Kreischer]

I mean, the first big body impala is 58, too. So if I had the. The first big body Impala, the 58, and then the last, the 96, that'd be pretty cool. I have a 59 Impala I'm fixing up right now. And then I'm a sucker for Chevy trucks, too. Like K5s.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

I have a couple 72 K5s I just got.

[Tom Segura]

I just got turned on to. And like I said, I'm not a car guy, but I just got turned on to patina trucks.

[Bert Kreischer]

That's beautiful. Patina trucks. Same. Same thing. Guitars like that, too, that are like derelicts that are, like, up in the most beautiful way. That looks worn, you know, it's like a vintage T shirt, you know, but it's a guitar or a car, and you just, like, preserve it like that.

[Tom Segura]

I almost bought a special. I almost bought a shirt off a dude on the street. Yeah, this is the coolest shirt.

[Bert Kreischer]

What was it?

[Tom Segura]

1979. The Whaler in from Boston, Massachusetts. And it was. You could tell I was with my daughter, and you could tell this dude bought that Shirt there, who's an older man.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

And he bought that shirt there, and he'd been wearing it ever since, and it was so perfectly worn in. And I said to my daughter, I go. Going to those stores, the thrift stores, just find dudes like that and go, how much for your shirt?

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah, back. Did you say it?

[Tom Segura]

No, I kind of. I felt weird.

[Bert Kreischer]

I did the same thing. I was in. I think I was in Canada, and every time I go there, there's a vintage shop, but there was like, a younger, like, kid that was working there that was coming to the show tonight, and he was a fan. And I'm like, this kid has the illest Willie Nielsen shirt on. And it's a black, black T shirt, perfectly, like, destroyed. And it's Willie, like, flipping them out. My dad's the biggest Willie Nelson fan. I was raised on Willie Nelson, Johnny Cash, Buck Owens and.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, Buck Owens.

[Bert Kreischer]

Buck Owens. The best.

[Tom Segura]

Do not get my. I'm bringing Dwight Yoakum on stage tomorrow night at the Dead thing.

[Bert Kreischer]

Oh, amazing.

[Tom Segura]

And my. And my wife. That's her one hall pass. And it all starts with Dwight, with. With Buck Owens. She's taken me up to the Crystal Palace a couple times just to sit up there, listen to music and drink.

[Bert Kreischer]

That's amazing.

[Tom Segura]

Keep going. I cut you off. I'm sorry.

[Bert Kreischer]

The story is I. I told the youngster, I know you're coming to the show tonight. I don't really want anything else in the store, but I want this T shirt. And I'll trade you anything. I'll buy whatever. So I. I got it. And it. I. I almost. I almost bit my tongue and I didn't say anything. I'm like, I gotta have that shirt. Like, I. I'll give you whatever you want for it, you know, So I have it and. Yeah, it's pretty cool. Do.

[Tom Segura]

Do you like fame?

[Bert Kreischer]

I don't really think about it much.

[Tom Segura]

You've been famous for, like, you've been famous for my whole adult life.

[Bert Kreischer]

Like, I feel like being able to throw 5Ks and raise money for, like, incarcerated firefighters. Lafad that. The LAFD. I feel like that's cool. That's a cool way to. To use, like, people knowing who I am. But I don't really, like. I don't really think of it other than that, you know, I think any, if anything, because I'm. I am like a. I don't know, I'm like a dad. I hang out with my kids and I go to the studio every day and run and Exercise. Like, I think sometimes me and my wife were just like, we just want to be normal. Like, we pretty much live a pretty normal life, really, you know?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, that's cool.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah. Whereas, like, I don't know. I think if. I don't know, you know how sometimes you're just like, I don't. And I think we move like that, too. We're not. Like, I heard someone tell a story one time, and they're like, Paul McCartney was. Was like telling a story to a certain person. I know. And he was like, you know, you don't need a bunch of security. You don't need a bunch of handlers. Like, if you want to go to the grocery store, start going to the grocery store every day at the same fucking time. And let the people at the grocery store get used to seeing you. Suddenly, you'll do it and no one will bother you. They'll be. It'll be really normal.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, but, you know, his best friend got shot. Who?

[Bert Kreischer]

Paul McCartney's. Yeah, but I mean, just think of that. Think of that idea, though. Think if. Like, if you don't start.

[Tom Segura]

Actually, that's. I. I don't. I love Paul McCartney.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah, me too.

[Tom Segura]

But that's exactly how John London got murdered, was. He took the same path so the guy could find him. Crazy, same time, did the same thing. I mean, like, that's like, crazy advice.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

That's what happens when you're so famous. No one message you.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Everyone's like, that's great advice, Paul.

[Bert Kreischer]

I think it's just about doing. I think it's about doing stuff where people, like, appearing normal, move like you're normal, and people, okay, you different.

[Tom Segura]

Then what if you don't. What if you're not normal? Like, okay, because I. Today I was in the grocery store and I got recognized and I said to my. I was with Stacy, that lady you just met. And she goes, it's because you're just loud. You're just a large person. And I just. I was like. I just was the lady. I bought a bunch of steaks for my sister's birthday. The lady said, can I come to the party? And I went, yeah. And then as she left, I'll see you tonight. I said, you better show up. And then everyone looks at me, and then they go, hey, Bar, what's up? But you are covered in tats. And. And you were covered in tats before. That was like a thing like, you. And. But so, like, when you show up people, you draw the eye automatically, and then they go, oh, I know that guy. That's Travis. That's Travis Parker. Holy. Like, can you. Can you just go to the grocery store?

[Bert Kreischer]

I will. But, like, how you handled it, like, you acted normal, right?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

You were like, oh, yeah, yeah, for sure. You go to the party, whatever. I feel like that's what you do. And then they just like, oh, it's just.

[Tom Segura]

Burt.

[Bert Kreischer]

What up, Bert? You know what I mean? People just start to treat you like you're normal and, like, you want to be treated.

[Tom Segura]

I am pretty normal, but I do like fame, and I think it's gross. Talked about that in therapy.

[Bert Kreischer]

Really?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah. I mean, I think it's cool to, like, be able to have people know who our band is and make songs that people can use to get through whatever they may be going through or something. That. That's cool. But I'm not, like, stoked. Like, I go somewhere and they're like, oh, that's Travis Barker. You know what I mean?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

I don't. I don't know. And if. And if they do say that, I'm like, I'm humbled and I'm like, oh, I'm honored. Whatever that you like. A song I did or a. An album I produced, or, I don't know, ran a 5k with me, whatever, I'm cool. But I'm like, I don't know. It doesn't. That's not. It doesn't really make my dick hard, you know, like, being famous. It's like, whatever.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, we're doing. We're. Do. I gotta. I should say this, by the way, also because Jelly would kill me if I didn't. We're doing two bears 5k again in Tampa this year. Yeah, we're doing it. Me and Tom, and Jelly is a part of it, and it's gonna be fucking huge. And if you want to come, we'd love to have you.

[Bert Kreischer]

I would love to be there.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

I saw you guys announce the other day.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. We're so pumped. We're gonna party on the field at Raymond James stadium after the 5K. And it's kind of. It's. I'm so excited.

[Bert Kreischer]

Your guys set up at. The one I went to was so cool with all the. The wellness stuff and the. I think it had, like, cold plunges.

[Tom Segura]

Cold plunges? Saunas. We had a bunch of workout equipment. We had a rope climb. We had free beer sampling and Porosos. Bunch of hydration stuff. Hydration's my. I take. I get, like, two IVs a week.

[Bert Kreischer]

Really?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. But it's So I can party.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah, I just drink elements. I actually, I. I clot my blood. My blood. My blood's not the best. So I get blood clots really easy.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

So I just have to drink a bunch of elements.

[Tom Segura]

I drink. I'm like crazy about water.

[Bert Kreischer]

Really?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. I drink four liquid deaths right before I go to bed every night.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Just murder.

[Bert Kreischer]

Great. I murder them, dude. At the last. I think it was our last 5k in LA. I ran and then everyone's like, hey, go Gold Punch. And our Cold Plunge, I didn't realize was just this big tub that everyone had been in all day. It was gross. So, like. Yeah. Do you guys do anything like that or is it like.

[Tom Segura]

They. When we went to Cold Plunge, we got done and they're like jelly Tom Bert. We got cold plunges set up for you and we go to walk over. The girl was. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Let me change the water. And I was like, she goes, it's been a minute since I've changed the water. So they redid it.

[Bert Kreischer]

Smart. I had this kid that was like, yeah, you're going to go in trap. And I'm like, all these people are watching. I'm like, yeah, I'm going to get in. Whatever. It was like. It was disgusting though. Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

They got foot.

[Bert Kreischer]

I like the idea of it being there, but yeah, we got to figure that out.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. So what do you. What are you going to have at this one in New Orleans? I'm excited.

[Bert Kreischer]

I don't know. This one's super last minute. I was originally, I was gonna do it in LA just to do a 5k in LA. Then the fires happened and then everyone said, no one's gonna run in this air. Like, the air quality is terrible.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

So I was gonna be in New Orleans for Spotify and I said, let's throw it out there and let's. I feel like everyone knows how terrible everything was that just happened in LA that, that hopefully everyone will go run and like, we can raise some good money for it.

[Tom Segura]

Where's it at? It's at. Hang on, I know where it's at. All Park Auto, Dumb Park, Autumn park at 9am what time are you running? 9am you can run it on AM.

[Bert Kreischer]

I think we're announcing a few bands too. I think End it. End It From Baltimore is going to play like this really great hardcore band.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

What music do you listen to?

[Bert Kreischer]

I listen to everything. I was like, you were.

[Tom Segura]

Because you were. You still are kind of like, I don't. You're the person. You and maybe Tommy Lee, but you a little more so were the first person that introduced me to the fact that drums are in everything.

[Bert Kreischer]

They are.

[Tom Segura]

Like, I didn't know that until I see you on something and, like, I think I saw you with Post Malone doing during the Pandemic. And I would like, you just would. And it was, like, so cool that I was like, you really are into everything.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah. I grew up on. On a rap music like jazz and country for my pops, hardcore and punk rock. Anything that was involved in skateboarding as a kid kind of, like, raised me.

[Tom Segura]

Can I show you something?

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Last night. Look, you guys can edit this out if you want. I don't give a fuck. Last. I got it. Last night, we did Tony Hawk and Jason Ellis's podcast.

[Bert Kreischer]

Oh, cool.

[Tom Segura]

Live. I know both of them very well. And I said to Jason Ellis, I said to Tony one time, I want to learn how to ollie. I never. I'm a big skateboarder, but I never knew it. Learned how to ollie. And once you learn how ollie, you really open the door to a lot of fun in skateboarding. But I just. And I'm too old. So last night they said, you still can't ollie. And they said, I want to see how bad your ollie is. So they brought a board on stage. Okay, so this is last night. Now, mind you, J. Tony Hawk has always told me, I can get you to ollie. And five, if you give me five minutes, I can get you to ollie.

[Bert Kreischer]

Whoa.

[Tom Segura]

Okay, so this is them. That's Ari Shafir bringing out a board. Okay? And the first one you'll see is my weak ass ollie. Okay? So that's me on the board. By the way, I'm pretty drunk. Okay? And then that's my attempt at ollie. Now, Tony Hawk says, okay, let me help you. I'm gonna hold you back, and I want you to try it again, okay? 52. Never ollied in my life. Take a look. Dude, I fucking ollied.

[Bert Kreischer]

And I saw the first one.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. And I knew.

[Bert Kreischer]

Drunk.

[Tom Segura]

And I'm drunk.

[Bert Kreischer]

Wow.

[Tom Segura]

I texted Tony Hawkins.

[Bert Kreischer]

It looks like he pushed you forward, so your board went up. You know.

[Tom Segura]

You know what he did? He said, when you ollie, you're moving backwards because you're scared. An ollie is a forward motion, so I just need you to move forward. So he just moved me forward.

[Bert Kreischer]

Whoa. And that's amazing, dude. That was a good ollie.

[Tom Segura]

Thank you.

[Bert Kreischer]

That's crazy.

[Tom Segura]

I was. I woke up this morning and I texted him. I texted him and Jason. I Said I woke up a different man. I ollie.

[Bert Kreischer]

That was so cool.

[Tom Segura]

It's so cool when you learn how to, like. Do you remember?

[Bert Kreischer]

Honestly, I can't believe that he. Him just, like, posturing your body made you ollie that much better than your first ollie. That was insane.

[Tom Segura]

It's great. It sucks that I can only ollie with Tony Hawk, so. I need him. I need him in order to skate.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah, he just goes by you and just.

[Tom Segura]

I was up all night thinking of ways like an ollie. I go, so if I put my dip rack in my bed and I. And I just. I gotta practice my ollie.

[Bert Kreischer]

That's so good, dude.

[Tom Segura]

It's, like, crazy. Do you remember when you learned how to play drums? When you first started and you're like. With your feet. I think the feet's the hardest thing about the drums, Right?

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah. I mean, I started playing on pots and pans, and then my dad and mom thought they should give me a drum kit. And they were. They were right. My son's the same way. My son Rocky is 15, 14 months old, and he's the same way. He just plays on everything. I also practiced all the time while he would, you know, in his mom's stomach and he just plays guitar now. I'd be like, you know, practicing for something.

[Tom Segura]

That's crazy. Yeah. I couldn't even do that.

[Bert Kreischer]

So even when I do it, to this day, he'll go to sleep. If I just start tapping or I, like, practice on a practice pad, he goes right to sleep.

[Tom Segura]

Really?

[Bert Kreischer]

And he does the same thing with guitar. So it was like that. But then they just fed me. They just kept feeding me stuff like, hey, you want to go try to take a lesson? You want to do this? And, yeah, really? Like, it was like, one of those things that. It was, like, the one thing I was really confident in because I practiced so much. And my dad and my mom had such a strict regimen for me. Like, you have to practice two to three hours. You can't go out, can't go play with your friends. So I would just go in there and play something, you know? But I think. And I loved skateboarding when I was a kid. Luckily, I had good friends around me that were like, you're way better at drumming than skateboarding. Just keep playing drums, you know? And I did. But, yeah, figuring out that thing that you love or that you're passionate about, that doesn't feel like. It doesn't suck. Like, it. It really builds confidence.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. And it doesn't feel like work.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

And what you Said is, like, when you're the confidence, like, when you put your 10, 000 hours into something, and someone's like, hey, do you want to try this? And you're like, I feel confident. I'm ready to try this in front of everyone.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

It's a cool feeling.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah. I think am used to say something. He used to say, like, find something you love and figure out a way to get paid for it. That's like. That's life right there.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. You know, I'm bummed he's not alive.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah, me too. You see his documentary?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

Pretty. Pretty amazing.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

Especially, like, they used him narrating that documentary from the last time he spoke at a meeting. Pretty incredible.

[Tom Segura]

It was pretty incredible. And I tell you what, I just. I, I. You guys were all like, the MTV famous group where it's like, you did your cribs, and you guys all. Didn't he, like, date Nicole Richie or something? And. And, like, so, like, that was like the whole Paris, like. And I always, you know, I always found that. I don't know what's wrong with me, but I always found that very cool. And I know you. You're all my age, but I looked at you guys like, God, that would be cool to be a part of that life and be a part of these scenes. The closest I ever got is I went to Rod Stewart's daughter, had a party.

[Bert Kreischer]

Oh, yeah, Kim.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

And they took away the caviar from me because I was. I didn't know you could. I liked it. And so I was just eating it. And they're like, that's not for you. That's the only party. That's the only close I ever got. But I'm not that kind of person. But I always thought you guys were all so cool. I thought it was cool. Like, I remember seeing you had an Escalade, and I was like, oh, that's badass. I want an Escalade. But I was born. I was like, those are, like, cool dreams. Like, you're at your cribs or. And you show your cars in your house. I was like, oh, that's cool. With that. I'd be badass.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah, that was a weird. That was a cool time. It was also all the money I had to buy that Escalade at the time in whatever house I was living in. I remember my friend came to me one time. He's like, trav, like, you're. You're like, hood rich. Like, you just buy cars. And I'm like, I know, huh? Like, he's like, sell some of them and buy a house. And I finally did, but sell some.

[Tom Segura]

Of them, buy a house.

[Bert Kreischer]

Cuz I'd see like hot boys like Lil Wayne and juvenile. I just see them always buy cars. And I was like, that's what I'm gonna do, you know. I was like, I just want to buy cool old Cadillacs and whatever, you know.

[Tom Segura]

The hot boys were so, so good, dude. I ran into them. I ran into them on Sunset at the hotel right across the street from the store. The. Forget the name. I ran into them in like 2000. In 2000, right at their high. And it's Lil Wayne juvie and BG So hard.

[Bert Kreischer]

And I was so good.

[Tom Segura]

I geeked out. I had a chick with me and I was like, you can beat it. I was like. I was like. I was like, yo, woady, what's up?

[Bert Kreischer]

So good.

[Tom Segura]

God, man. Did you. Who's your favorite celebrity I ever met? I know it's gotta be weird because it's like hard.

[Bert Kreischer]

I don't even know.

[Tom Segura]

Is there someone in music where you met and you kind of geeked out? You're like, oh, shut the up.

[Bert Kreischer]

Prince. Yeah. I love, I love. That's one. That's probably my favorite artist of all time. Love Prince.

[Tom Segura]

God. Prince was.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah. Lemmy from Motorhead too. Had like a really cool, like, just like hang with him before one of his shows and like, Mickey D. As drummer at the time was in King Diamond. I loved both of them. But yeah, I don't know, I think. I think probably Prince and Lemmy were like the big ones.

[Tom Segura]

I think I stopped, like, I. I was pretty geeked out to meet you. I was curious what car you're gonna drive in. Oh, I know.

[Bert Kreischer]

I. I drove. I drove the Escalade V. Have you seen that?

[Tom Segura]

No. Oh, no. Is this the electric one?

[Bert Kreischer]

Nah, nah, it's the V. It's like. It's a hog. It's like. It has like crazy exhaust. It has more horsepower, has like sport features. It's nasty.

[Tom Segura]

Is that the one?

[Bert Kreischer]

Kind of like a ninja. It just looks like a. An Escalade. But this, this is mean. So. Yeah, that's like my, my daily driver. If I'm not driving to old school. I only drive old schools. Pretty much. If I'm going on a date with my wife or bringing one of the kids out somewhere or. Or just to the studio and back when.

[Tom Segura]

If you had one tour, I do this thing. I'm not good at it. What I do is I ask a question Then I answer it.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

So you understand what I'm asking?

[Bert Kreischer]

I do the same thing.

[Tom Segura]

My partner Tom Segura, says it's called making it all about myself. But it seems like I only ask questions so I can answer it. But if you had one tour that you look back and you go, oh, I could do that exact tour for the rest of my life. Like, how many tours have you guys done? Like, probably 20.

[Bert Kreischer]

I've done so many. Yeah. I mean, they're different. Like transplants. Like my other band. Transplants, Distillers and Rancid. That was a really cool tour. Cypress, Blink and no Doubt was a really good tour.

[Tom Segura]

Cypress, Blink and no Doubt.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah, it was a cool tour.

[Tom Segura]

And were you smoking weed?

[Bert Kreischer]

It was like a moment. I was. Yeah, I was definitely smoking weed at that time. Remember our last show? We us in Cypress and like, Gwen, we all smoked and then. I usually don't smoke before shows because I'm out there, like, going buck wild, you know, I need to have a lot of energy. And I remember we did it. It was like the last show. And B. Real came in. He's like, come on, let's just smoke. Last show before. And, like, the show is so fucking long. It feels like it's going in slow motion. And I'm like, oh, my gosh, we're still playing this song. Like, songs felt like 11 minutes. I remember Tom came to me and he goes, I want to go home. And I was like. He hit the energy right there. I was like, oh, I'd do anything to just snap my fingers and be home right now. Or just like, not on stage, you know?

[Tom Segura]

But, yeah, Gwen Stefani is perfect.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah. That was like, the height of no Doubt. And. I don't know. No Doubt was like. I grew up playing at this punk. Punk club called Spanky's Cafe. Whereas, like, punk bands that I was in, she was, like, playing with no Doubt. It was like Battle of the Bands. So it was like. She was. She was Southern California, like, growing up. I watched them, you know, from, like, Scott. Punk scene. She was the illest.

[Tom Segura]

You know, watching her and Bradley Noel.

[Bert Kreischer]

Oh, yeah. Sublime.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. Did you know Bradley?

[Bert Kreischer]

Same thing. I played with him at Copaceta Cafe.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

Where I grew up. Played a show once, and it was really cool. And then we were just talking about the way over here. I saw the first Warp tour. It was like sublime. Orange 9 millimeter, Deftones. No Use for a Name.

[Tom Segura]

Deftones.

[Bert Kreischer]

And that was the first time I had seen Sublime where they actually, like. It was more of a jam session than one before. But Sublime's one of the best. You know, Bradley was so, so talented.

[Tom Segura]

My daughter Ada just texted the other day. She's like, I need Deftone tickets. And I was like, I'll pay for those.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah, I love. I love Chino and Ave and the guys. There's. They're so great. And I love that everyone's figuring it out. Like. Like, you know, people your daughter's age are coming back around and being like, I discovered the Deftones. You know, I put on.

[Tom Segura]

Do you ever put on it? Like, when. When. When you're Alabama and Rocky, Are you 2 young? 2. 2 from your first marriage?

[Bert Kreischer]

Rocky's. From my marriage right now.

[Tom Segura]

Marriage right now. Rocky's. Rocky's 2.

[Bert Kreischer]

Rocky's 14 months.

[Tom Segura]

14 months.

[Bert Kreischer]

Okay.

[Tom Segura]

Okay. I thought you said 14.

[Bert Kreischer]

And I was like, no, Alabama's 19. Landon's 21. Like my son. Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Do you remember? Do you remember? Remember? And maybe they were numb to it because I put in comedy for my kids. And, like, they kind of deconstruct it, not in a fun way. And they're like, I probably put Mitch Hedberg in. And they were like, is he high? And I was like, well, yeah, maybe. Yeah. And they're like, okay, so we're laughing because he's high. And then they go, wait, is he still alive? And I go, no. Like, how did he die? I said, it was a drug overdose. And they're like, so this is kind of sad. And I'm like, never mind Playing. Not listening to comedy with you guys. Yeah, I gotta play prior for you. I guess so. But I played. I put in a banger song for Isla, who's really into, like, punk music. I was like, you ever heard Pennywise? She was like, no. And I put in Bro, him. And it's. It's a. It's a guy centric song.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah, very.

[Tom Segura]

But Dunn. And she was like, oh. And then I hit pause and I explained the song. And then she was like, okay. Started over.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah, that has a lot of meanings.

[Tom Segura]

Has a lot of meaning. I. The fucking look on her face when she came home. She's like, have you ever heard of Blink182? And I was like, oh, baby, fuck it. And I was like, oh. And then I wanted to be like. Because, you know, when we grew up, you were fans of a band and you. All you had to do is with dreams. You'd read the liner notes and be like, oh, what is this guy like? Like, even. Even fucking Jonathan Davis from korn. Even Then there was. The Internet wasn't big. You're like, why does he have HIV on his arm? Yeah. And. But. And then I was like, oh, baby, you can listen to podcasts. These guys have done. They are fucking fascinating.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

And. And she was like, I'm. I'm obsessed with Blink 182.

[Bert Kreischer]

That's so.

[Tom Segura]

It's a cool. It's cool to share that with your kids.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah, for sure.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

It's crazy.

[Tom Segura]

So how do you make tuna fish salad?

[Bert Kreischer]

I make it out of chickpeas.

[Tom Segura]

See? Really?

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Wait, wait, hold on. I was just joking.

[Bert Kreischer]

Chickpea. Chickpea replaces anything tuna based when you're. When you're plant based.

[Tom Segura]

Hold on. Yeah, hold on one second. So tell me. This is. I'm. I was just joking. Yeah. Because I asked Matthew McConaughey how he made his choose. The dumbest question I've ever had and apparently went viral. But wait, how do you make your tuna fish salad?

[Bert Kreischer]

I mean, that's the closest thing to a tuna fish salad for me.

[Tom Segura]

So you take chickpeas and then put mayonnaise in there.

[Bert Kreischer]

Veganaise.

[Tom Segura]

Veganaise, yeah. And then do you put, like, any pickles or anything?

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah, I mean, sometimes toast the. Toast the bread. That's what I was wondering what you're gonna cook for me, too, if I go on the. On the cooking show.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, buddy. Oh, hold on, hold on. So I went vegan. I got. I got. You did. Oh. Oh, God. Let me slow down. So excited. I've never told anyone this story. I'm sure I have. I don't know. I have a story I haven't told. I'm in Miami, Florida. I'm done with it. And we're coming off tour, and I'm like, I'm fucking done. I'm done with me. I'm done with my lifestyle. I can't change everything, but I know I can change one thing, and that's how I eat. I said, I'm going vegan. And everyone's like. And I said, I'm going vegan. And it. It lasted four hours. But I only. Because. Hold on. No, but it wasn't my fault. It wasn't my fault. I didn't know pasta is not vegan. So I have pasta. No sauce, no nothing. Like, just had pasta. Guy next to me is like, well, you got a dietary problem? And I was like, no, I'm vegan. And he goes, I hate to break your heart, but pasta is not vegan. And I was like, okay. So I still counted it Yeah, I was, I was trying. So I came home and I'll tell you that. Here's my. I made a vegan meatloaf and it was bananas. It was so good. And my daughter, I didn't tell my daughters or my wife it was vegan meatloaf. I just made it and they're like, this is good. What is it? And I was like, just keep eating. And then they were like, this is really good. And I was like, it's vegan meatloaf. And they're like, ugh. And I was like, no, you liked it before I told you it was vegan.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah, you just can't tell them.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. And then you can use, you can use. What is the. What is the. I use not yeast. Yeast is so great.

[Bert Kreischer]

That's the way. Instead of, instead of impossible or beyond meat. Like any seitan, like wheat based protein.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

Is good.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

It's not soy. It's. It's the best.

[Tom Segura]

I've been carnivore for almost a year and a half.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

But I would, I would go vegan. I would love to have you on my cooking show and make a vegan meal for you.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah, let's do it.

[Tom Segura]

Who would you want to be your co, your co guest?

[Bert Kreischer]

I get to pick one?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. Oh, anyone you want.

[Bert Kreischer]

Let me think about that.

[Tom Segura]

Bring you bring the sister with the plane.

[Bert Kreischer]

I will, I'll try. I'll try. Maybe she could find me out there.

[Tom Segura]

That's cool. Yeah. I'd love to have you on my cooking show. Yeah. You pick whoever you want. It doesn't have to be a famous person, just someone you like to hang with and vibe with. I'll probably drink, but you're cool with me drinking, right?

[Bert Kreischer]

Of course.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Cool.

[Bert Kreischer]

Of course.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. Awesome.

[Bert Kreischer]

I can be around anything.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. Are you buddy, you sound. I like as a guy who. When do I, when did I. I must have found you in 2000, I'm guessing, right? Is that when I had 1997 maybe.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah. Blink Price started around 1997. I joined around 1999.

[Tom Segura]

1999. I discovered you. I've watched your journey, I've watched your reality show. I've watched you on Cribs. I mean all of it. All of it. I mean all of it. You've been a public figure whether you've wanted to or not. Things have happened to you where you just got thrust into the public and man, you're the coolest dude I've ever met. Like I, I, you know, a couple guys I've Met in life, where I go, I want that. I want a little bit of that, like, McConaughey guy could charm the pants off.

[Bert Kreischer]

Fucking so good.

[Tom Segura]

He's so good.

[Bert Kreischer]

So good.

[Tom Segura]

He's so good. But just looking at your eyes and, like, how you. How you're just so present and grounded and just relaxed, I was like, okay, maybe there's something to be vegan or getting drugs out of my life.

[Bert Kreischer]

I mean, you guys, there's, like. You, like Shane Gillis, like, Joe Rogan. You guys. You guys are also rock stars. Like, I hear all. I hear all about it, you know, I hear, like, Cheeto Vera from the ufc.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

To the fighter. He's like. He tells me he goes to everyone's shows, and he's like, they're rock stars, homie. Straight up, you know? And I hear a running theme through everything you're saying. Like, it's like comedy is the new version of. Of a rock star. Those guys are partying like rock stars. They're just as wild as rock stars, so. And it's exciting. It's exciting.

[Tom Segura]

I'll tell you this. My daughters. My daughters have both seen Shane Gillis live, and they didn't have the same look after seeing Blink 182.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah. Oh, I bet, dude. My first. The first time I watched him, I was like. I just couldn't believe it. I watched his stand up, and it was. It was so good, you know?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

But. And then I just heard, like, so much about him, you know? But it is. It's like, it's. Being a comedian couldn't be cooler than it is right now.

[Tom Segura]

It's pretty cool.

[Bert Kreischer]

It's pretty cool.

[Tom Segura]

It's pretty cool. It's pretty cool. I love it. I love it. And. But, you know, much like you getting into drums, just because that was your thing and you were better at that than skating, it's like, I got into comedy, you know, in, like, 97, 90, probably 99, 98. And I just got into it because I just, like, I was like, I don't. I like it. I don't. I didn't. There was no career in it.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah, you're just funny as.

[Tom Segura]

It's not what it was. It wasn't what it is today isn't what it was then. Yeah, I just dug it. And I thought it was, like, counterculture, and it was like, a way to, like. I like telling stories, and it was a fun way to tell stories. It's cool to watch your kids. Like, watch. My oldest daughter, Georgia, saw Shane for the first Time. And this is got to be like three years ago, four years ago, before he was famous. And he had this great joke now in one of his specials about going to a old plantation, a reenactment plantation, and the black guy coming up. And it's. It's in his bit. I'm not going to do this bit, but it's pretty aggressive and it's pretty hilarious. My daughter Georgia is Alabama's age, and she. She heard it and was like, she's a little woke. And she went, whoa. I said, what? She goes, you're not allowed to say that. I was like, why not? Why not? She goes, you get in trouble. I go, did you think it was funny? She's like, yeah, but I can't laugh at that, can I? And I was like, yeah, so you can laugh at that. And I was like, yeah, baby. That's the whole point of comedy is, like, you got to push the boundaries and you gotta. The things you're not supposed to say are the things to say. And. And that's what's great about Shane. She was like, okay. The next night, her and her friend Daisy are crying, laughing. Next time. Next, you know, all the girls are back at our house, and Shane's beautiful dogs comes out. Fucking 15 girls in our screening room, and they're watching beautiful dogs. Fifteen girls watching beautiful dogs. And they're like, he's the goat. And I was like, I got specials on there, too, girls.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah, no, it is, but like, for, like, youth to be in it. I feel like comedians was, like a. A thing our parents were into. Right. Like, my dad would watch Eddie Murphy or whatever. But, like, it. It's different now. It's. It's. It's different. It appeals to a whole different crowd. And I feel like. Yeah. Like, I've heard, like, Chappelle say it. I've heard, like, all the greats say it. It should. It should be almost like a fantasy world where you say whatever the you want.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

And you express yourself and you talk your. You know what I mean? And no one takes it too serious. Like, just enjoy.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, dude, I was roasting the Bones brigades last night. Like, Steve Cavallero. I was like, God, he looks like one of those cholos that took up painting. And. And. And I'm going like, I hope these work the best of the best. And this is for only, like, me and you will get this. And the bones Brigade. And I was like, you guys were cool, but let's be real. Your early skate videos kind of looked like Al Qaeda Training videos, and they.

[Bert Kreischer]

Were like, search for Animal Channel, all that stuff.

[Tom Segura]

You're doing these moves where you go.

[Bert Kreischer]

Oh, dude, that's so funny.

[Tom Segura]

But, yeah, comedy's fun as. But it's not.

[Bert Kreischer]

But, dude, you should be able to watch it and kind of escape from reality.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

And just, you know, disappear.

[Tom Segura]

That's the best compliment you ever get is. Yo, man, I've been going through some stuff. It's been really rough, and I haven't laughed in a while, but I went to your show, and I totally forgot about my problems, and just. Thanks. And that's, like, the thing. And. And I mean, I would. I. I. That's a gift. But I'm telling you, when I listen to your music, it's beautiful to throw on a Blink 182 song and run like you guys did in your underwear. Like, it's. To run and just like. And. And. And. And get lost and put it on and throw the windows down and put the heat on in your car at night and speed.

[Bert Kreischer]

That's the best.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

By the way, windows down, heater on, or in a convertible. The best, dude. But, yeah, that's. I mean, that's the goal is, like, music's got to be your escape, too. You know, comedy, whatever it is, like, just offer people, like, an escape from reality.

[Tom Segura]

And I'll tell you right now, I think what you're doing with these 5Ks is the coolest damn thing. And I'm not saying that because we were also doing it. I'm saying that because I just think the more people should do these because it's. It's a great way to build community. It's a great way to get your fans involved and get them healthy.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

And that's the most important thing. I mean, as someone who's been through so many health traumas as yourself, like, the idea that you. How beautiful is it that your legs work and you can get yourself out there and you get to have sun hit your face, and it's awesome.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah. And not. You know, like, there's, like, fans of yours that probably have never thought about running, but they're like, oh, Bert's doing this. I'm gonna. I am gonna try it. And then it just. It leads to a. A life of, like, health and wellness. You know what I mean? It's cool. Even if you want to drink and eat whatever the fuck you want, but you go out and you do these 5Ks every once in a while, it's like. It's the balance.

[Tom Segura]

I'm gonna have a Huge flag. February, February. When's February 7th? Next Friday. February next. February. This Friday. This Friday. This comes out Monday. February this, this Friday, February 7th, I will be running on the 9:00 run. On run. Go to runtravisrun.com run travis run.com. i will be running. If you're a fan of mine and you want to run with me, find me. I will be at registration. I will have a huge flag. Like when the Asian people travel in Europe. I'll have a huge flag and you can find me and you can run with me. And we'll go, we'll go to moderate pace. We'll do a 10 minute mile, we'll do a 12 minute mile if everyone wants. And we'll have fun and we'll have a blast because that's what it's all about. And we'll feel healthy. And hopefully this starts a journey for you to get healthier. And if your husband is overweight and you're listening to this right now and you're like, God damn it, I need to get him off the couch. And you're in New Orleans, you meet me, go to runtrivisrun.com and you meet me at 9am that, that on the 7th and I will fucking run with you. And you're not gonna be able to keep up with Travis, but you fly.

[Bert Kreischer]

No, I might, I might choke. Court might run it and I might run at her pace.

[Tom Segura]

Really?

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Never mind. Don't show up. I'm running with next to Travis and his wife. I'm running at her pace. I want to just be on her pace. Jesus Christ. I've never met a Kardashian. I'd be nervous. I would want you to watch me meet your wife because I'll say the inappropriate thing. Like, it's like, I've been such a fan since you were a child. She'd be like, huh? I really like Chloe.

[Bert Kreischer]

No, she's the best.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, your wife is pretty badass. That whole fucking family is awesome. And if you want, you, please come to Tampa May 4th, we're gonna be doing the two bears 5k. Jelly will be there.

[Bert Kreischer]

I'll be there.

[Tom Segura]

And you're playing with Jelly tonight.

[Bert Kreischer]

Playing with Jelly tonight. Came, came about like last minute and I was like, of course, like playing a Bob Seeger song. It's like, it's a burner. Hollywood nights. Yeah, it's yes. Yeah. And Jelly singing it like, oh, it's so good. Yeah, it's gonna be, it's gonna be awesome. Can't wait.

[Tom Segura]

Dang I'm going. I'm going Saturday. He's doing a benefit. Another benefit Saturday.

[Bert Kreischer]

Nice.

[Tom Segura]

I got. I gotta. My sister's birthdays today. I was gonna buy a bunch of tickets, and then my sister's like, what about my birthday? I was like, you want to go see Jelly? She was like, no. I was like, okay, so I'm making her steaks and then dead on Friday, Jelly on Saturday, Chinese New Year's on Sunday, New Orleans on Monday. Your race on Friday there.

[Bert Kreischer]

Cool.

[Tom Segura]

When do you go back after New Orleans? Do you leave that night?

[Bert Kreischer]

I'll leave, like, the next day.

[Tom Segura]

Next day? You're not going to the game?

[Bert Kreischer]

No, no. I'll be like, in and out. You're flying? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm already, like, nervous about it. I'm like, it sucks. Once you get there, too. Then you go like. You're like, how do I get. I have to get home, too.

[Tom Segura]

How about this? I'll give you my number, and then I'll text you when I'm flying.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

And just. You do the same. Because if you're not flying, you're confident.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Like, you can easily know, I'll be on a plane, I'll be okay. And you just be like, hey, man, it's nothing. Four hours. You got this.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

I'll tell you what. I'm going to sleep right now. I'll text you when I wake up, and then I'll be like. Because that's part of the things. Is like, that. Like that buddy thing I did.

[Bert Kreischer]

Totally.

[Tom Segura]

John Mayer one time texted me, and he was like, I know you're afraid of flying. Read this article. And I was like, you really don't know me that well. I don't read. I was like. I was like, is it a podcast?

[Bert Kreischer]

That's so funny, dude.

[Tom Segura]

I love you. Thank you for doing this.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah. Yeah. I love you, too, man. Thank you for having me.

[Tom Segura]

And you are.

[Bert Kreischer]

Appreciate you.

[Tom Segura]

You're the best, man.

[Bert Kreischer]

Thank you, man. You're the best.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, clip that out. Clip that out. That's our promo. One goes top of swap. The other wears a shirt. Tom tells stories and burts the machine.

[Bert Kreischer]

There's not a chance in hell that they'll keep it clean.

[Tom Segura]

Here's what we call two bears. One cave.