Podcast Summary: Introducing Bert to Fancy Chef | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

Podcast Information:

• Title: 2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
• Host/Author: YMH Studios
• Episode: Introducing Bert to Fancy Chef
• Release Date: October 7, 2024

1. New Beginnings in Florida

Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer kick off the episode by sharing their excitement about relocating to Florida, their new home base. The move marks a significant transition for both comedians as they adapt to their fresh environment.

• Tom: "We have moved together to Florida." [00:43]
• Bert: "We're back in Florida and I'm so happy." [00:47]
• Tom: "I feel like you are definitely one [Florida man]." [00:53]

The conversation humorously delves into the stereotypical "Florida man" persona, with Tom expressing his heightened senses for spotting the quirky behaviors associated with it.

• Tom: "I can smell Florida man. You know what I mean? Like, I sense them. My spidey senses go off." [01:00]

2. Alcohol Consumption and Sobriety Debate

A significant portion of the episode revolves around the topic of alcohol consumption, addiction, and the societal perceptions of sobriety. Bert passionately argues against the idea of quitting alcohol entirely, presenting a nuanced perspective on personal responsibility versus substance blame.

• Bert: "If you're thinking about quitting alcohol, don't. Okay. If you're listening to this and you're thinking, today's the day I'm going to quit, I'm done forever. It's fucking my life up. Don't. You're setting yourself up for failure." [01:14]

Tom challenges Bert's viewpoint, questioning the coherence of his stance when life issues seem intertwined with alcohol use.

• Tom: "Did you connect all the things you said though? Because you just said if somebody is like, it's ruining my life." [01:32]
• Bert: "No, it's not. It's not. It's you. It's not the alcohol. It's you." [01:39]

Bert emphasizes personal accountability, suggesting that individuals can regain control over their lives with support, even if they continue drinking.

• Bert: "Look at me. I got my shit pretty together. I'm a fucking mess. Right? But I got a great woman by me. Stop by side. Right. Keeps me in track." [02:00]

3. Financial Anecdotes and Tour Bus Realities

The comedians share amusing and relatable stories about managing finances during tours, highlighting the challenges of budgeting and the realities of spending money on the road.

• Bert: "My dad came out in, like, I think that was 2017. And I was like, oh, these are my tax returns for this year. And he goes, do you realize that you earned more this year than in my entire career combined?" [57:16]

Tom recounts his experiences with overspending during tours and personal trips, illustrating the pitfalls of financial mismanagement.

• Tom: "I tell Christina we're going to Hawaii, and we go to Hawaii. And then during the trip, I'm realizing that, like, lunch at this hotel is, like, 400." [63:02]

4. Insights into the Comedy Industry

Bert and Tom delve into the evolution of the comedy scene, discussing how the internet has transformed platforms for comedians and the motivations behind pursuing a career in comedy.

• Bert: "We chose comedy when it wasn't an occupation." [53:06]
• Tom: "We went into it being like, God, I hope enough the right people see me and I can get maybe some TV deal." [53:38]

They reflect on the authenticity of comedians from their generation, contrasting it with the contemporary landscape where many enter comedy for visibility rather than passion.

• Bert: "I'm not shitting on them. I don't really care. It's like, I just. Have fun with your life, ultimately." [56:29]

5. Experiences at Movie Premieres and Networking Challenges

The duo shares their entertaining yet awkward experiences attending movie premieres, navigating red carpets, and interacting with celebrities. These anecdotes highlight the superficiality and social dynamics prevalent in such high-profile events.

• Bert: "I went to this premiere for this movie, new George Clooney, Brad Pitt movie... and everyone was trying to get close." [40:47]
• Tom: "I sat out and talked to Nick Kroll the whole time. And I was like. I was like. Just talked about stand up." [40:57]

Bert narrates an amusing encounter with Andy Garcia, illustrating the unexpected and often impersonal nature of celebrity interactions.

• Bert: "Andy Garcia walks up and they're like, yo, can we put Andy Garcia in front of you?... He says, how do I know you?" [39:15]

6. Introducing Fancy Chef

The episode culminates with Tom introducing Bert to Fancy Chef, a unique culinary personality known for his unconventional cooking style. Their conversation about Fancy Chef encompasses admiration, skepticism, and anticipation for future collaborations.

• Tom: "I'm so obsessed with Fancy Chef, you know? Have I told you about him?" [46:33]
• Bert: "He posts his cooking stuff, but it's just... something's wrong, you know?" [47:01]

Tom describes Fancy Chef's peculiar approach to cooking, emphasizing his focus on presentation over actual culinary skills.

• Tom: "He'll be like, check out this shit I just made. It's just a store-bought cake with blueberries on it. And he's like, look at this. Beautiful and nice." [47:19]

Bert and Tom humorously discuss their attempts to engage with Fancy Chef, highlighting his high demands and the improbability of their scheduled collaboration.

• Bert: "I'm very excited. Be very disappointed if he doesn't show up." [51:27]
• Tom: "He’s charging 2 to 5 million for those six days of work. That's wild." [51:33]

7. Final Thoughts on Sobriety and Personal Growth

In the concluding segment, Bert and Tom provide their perspectives on sobriety, emphasizing personal growth and authentic relationships over societal pressures to quit drinking.

• Bert: "If you’re trying to get your shit together, stick to who you are. Get your drink under control." [67:25]
• Tom: "We're gonna wrap up on that. But if you're trying to get your shit together, listen to Bert. He has good ideas." [69:46]

They advocate for unconditional support and love regardless of one's state of sobriety, underscoring the importance of genuine connections.

• Bert: "There's one person in this world that will still love you, drunk or sober." [69:52]
• Tom: "That's the way the world should work." [70:15]

Conclusion

The episode "Introducing Bert to Fancy Chef" weaves through personal anecdotes, industry insights, and humorous exchanges, offering listeners an engaging glimpse into the lives of Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer. From relocating to Florida and navigating the complexities of sobriety to sharing unforgettable experiences at movie premieres and introducing the enigmatic Fancy Chef, the duo delivers a rich and entertaining narrative. Their candid discussions, peppered with memorable quotes and relatable stories, make this episode a compelling listen for both long-time fans and newcomers alike.

Notable Quotes:

• Bert [01:14]: "If you're thinking about quitting alcohol, don't. Okay. If you're listening to this and you're thinking, today's the day I'm going to quit, I'm done forever. It's fucking my life up. Don't. You're setting yourself up for failure."

• Tom [01:32]: "Did you connect all the things you said though? Because you just said if somebody is like, it's ruining my life."

• Bert [02:00]: "Look at me. I got my shit pretty together. I'm a fucking mess. Right? But I got a great woman by me. Stop by side. Right. Keeps me in track."

• Bert [07:39]: "I'm taking half shits in the morning. I take like a half a. And then I hold it, and then I take a full after that."

• Tom [57:16]: "My dad came out in, like, I think that was 2017. And I was like, oh, these are my tax returns for this year. And he goes, do you realize that you earned more this year than in my entire career combined?"

• Bert [53:06]: "We chose comedy when it wasn't an occupation."

• Tom [63:02]: "I tell Christina we're going to Hawaii, and we go to Hawaii. And then during the trip, I'm realizing that, like, lunch at this hotel is, like, 400."

• Bert [69:52]: "There's one person in this world that will still love you, drunk or sober."

This comprehensive summary encapsulates the essence of the episode, highlighting the key themes and memorable moments shared by Tom and Bert. Whether discussing personal challenges, industry dynamics, or humorous encounters, the episode offers a multifaceted look into the lives of these two comedians.