Podcast Summary: 2 Bears, 1 Cave – “My Soul Will Always Be Fat”

Hosts: Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Network: YMH Studios
Release Date: December 8, 2025

Episode Overview

In this episode, Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer, best friends and stand-up comedians, reconvene in their signature laid-back style to riff about weight loss journeys, body image, personal insecurities, comparisons in comedy and business, celebrity run-ins, and the year’s highlights. This candid, self-deprecating, and often hilarious conversation focuses on Bert's physical transformation using weight loss drugs, Tom's unwavering love for pastries, and the perennial struggle of finding (and accepting) your personal style—onstage and off.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Bert’s Weight Loss Journey & Manjaro Experience

(00:21 – 06:30)

• Bert opens up about feeling “weak” from being “skinny now,” joking about health kicks before coming clean.
• He reveals he’s not using only holistic means:

  “No, I'm so fucking tired of this health fit movement. I just gave up. I'm on Manjaro.” – Bert (00:54)

• Four weeks on Manjaro, down 25 pounds; he describes the process, including a DEXA scan:

  “There was 90 pounds of fat sitting in my stomach… visceral fat's a killer.” (03:08)

• Bert discusses the mental aspect and social stigma:

  “When people used Ozempic, I was like, why didn’t you just put in the work?... Now I'm the guy.” (03:51)

• Immediate side effects include appetite suppression and nausea:

  “Two days later, I'm in an airport, and everything's disgusting. I can't look at food... I just started violently throwing up.” (04:22)

• Struggle with losing his signature excess:

  “So much of what I think may have been defining, characteristic of me...” (05:24)

2. Identity, Food & The "Fat Soul"

(05:29 – 10:24)

• Bert and Tom commiserate over lifelong attachments to food and indulgence, discussing petrifying changes:

  “I love going, getting three meals at a restaurant… now I just order one meal, like a crazy person.” – Bert (05:32, 05:47)

• Manjaro changes taste and drinking:

  “I can't even have a drink… I just can't.” – Bert (06:11)

• Tom empathizes with his own diet struggles, especially with increased protein intake:

  “I've been farting like crazy… it’s unbelievable… so long, so powerful. I'm so proud of them.” – Tom (06:30, 07:53)

• Bert comments on Manjaro’s effect on bodily functions:

  “Manjaro farts have a sweet cherry tint to them… Manjaro shits are pretty fucking awesome. Like crude oil.” (08:00–08:12)

• On the inescapable "fat soul":

  “I have lost a lot of weight, but I am and will ever, forever will be fat. My soul is fat.” – Tom (10:02)

3. Appearance, Insecurity, & Comparison

(10:24 – 22:42)

• Funny riff about Tom tucking in shirts and the resulting fan reactions.
• Bert shares how seeing Tom’s ventures (pastry shop) and social posts awakened his own insecurities:

  “I started beating myself up. I'm like, I don't do shit. God damn it, man, what if I'm just a comic? What if I don’t really have great ideas outside of it?” – Bert (19:01)

• On the destructive nature of comparison:

  “Comparison is the thief of joy.” – Tom (19:03)

• Tom reframes Bert’s contributions:

  “You're thinking about investment in one way, but it’s broader than that... You own a bunch of real estate, man. That is investing.” (20:35)

• Bert values being “an ideas guy” and wanting to focus on creativity:

  “I don’t really give a fuck about anything but just coming up with good ideas.” (22:10)

4. Comedy Careers & Style (Wardrobe)

(22:42 – 51:41)

• Mutual praise for each other’s stand-up:

  “Your special is going to be so fucking big.” – Bert to Tom (22:42) “You're gassing me up today bro.” – Tom (23:50)

• Bert’s anxiety about fashion and appearing grown-up:

  “Where do adults buy clothes?... I feel like when I put on those clothes, I'm putting on a costume.” (25:18, 46:59) “It feels so weird to be wearing shoes right now... like inside a house.” (25:38)

• Tom’s approach:

  “I think you should be comfortable. You should wear whatever the fuck you want to wear.” (47:03)

  • Describes his own evolution: always liking “nice clothes,” but remembers “embracing being a sloppy comic for a couple years.” (47:24–49:03)
• On comics aging into style:

  “When you get older as a comic, are you supposed to start dressing maybe a little more adult?” – Bert (50:54) “I think it’s a total fucking choice... The reason that Big J... works for him is it's completely authentic.” – Tom (51:07, 51:17)

5. Celebrity Run-ins, The CMAs, and Red Carpet Stories

(28:47 – 37:25)

• Bert narrates being invited to CMAs, getting “unwarranted credit” for breaking country artists on his podcast.
• Classic Leanne moment—moving friends to the front of the red carpet, causing chaos.
• Meeting Steve Martin (“Not great, really.”) vs. positive experience with Billy Bob Thornton.
• Sitting near Lil Wayne & Big X the Plug.

6. Parenting, Kids & Generational Fashion

(43:31 – 46:05)

• Tom shares his 7-year-old’s sudden fascination with suits and hair gel, compared to Bert’s late discovery of mirrors in eighth grade.

  “He goes: I want a fucking suit.” – Tom (44:10) “I didn’t discover mirrors until I was in eighth grade.” – Bert (45:28)

7. Year-in-Review, Two Bears Highlights & The Path Ahead

(56:11 – 66:19)

• Reflect on Two Bears 5K events as “the most positive thing that's ever come from our entertainment careers.”
• Candid acknowledgments that their schedules limit future podcasting together, but they promise continued episodes with guests and occasional live events.
• Exchanges about future projects, stand-up, family holiday plans, upcoming Netflix specials, and changes for 2026:

  “I just want to say to the fans that we are cognizant to make sure this is a priority… We hope you guys just ride with us.” – Bert (65:52)

• Closing mantra:

  “I'm going back to old Burt. Fuck my inner dialogue… Fuck conformity. This is who the fuck I am.” – Bert (66:14–66:24)

Notable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• "No, I'm so fucking tired of this health fit movement. I just gave up. I'm on Manjaro." – Bert (00:54)
• "I have lost a lot of weight, but I am and will ever, forever will be fat. My soul is fat." – Tom (10:02)
• "Comparison is the thief of joy." – Tom (19:03)
• "I feel like when I put on those clothes, I'm putting on a costume. Does that make sense?" – Bert (46:59)
• "I think you should be comfortable. You should wear whatever the fuck you want to wear." – Tom (47:03)
• “I'm going back to old Burt. Fuck my inner dialogue… Fuck conformity. This is who the fuck I am.” – Bert (66:14–66:24)

Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:21 – 06:30: Bert on weight loss, Manjaro, and health.
• 10:02: Tom on having a "fat soul," pastries, and indulgence.
• 19:03: Discussion of insecurity and "comparison is the thief of joy."
• 28:47 – 37:25: Bert’s CMAs stories, Steve Martin, Billy Bob Thornton.
• 43:31 – 46:05: Parenting stories and personal appearance epiphanies.
• 56:11 – End: Reflections on the Two Bears 5K, the year’s highlights, changes to the podcast, and affirmations of authenticity.

Conclusion

This episode is a quintessential, heartfelt “2 Bears” conversation—layered with self-deprecating humor, insightful takes on modern self-improvement pressure, and authentic grappling with identity, both as performers and regular guys. Bert’s weight loss reflects greater questions of self-worth and public scrutiny, while Tom’s “fat soul” confession is emblematic of the show’s embrace of both change and self-acceptance. Through all the riffing, the profound thread is about being true to yourself—onstage, at a restaurant, or in a suit—with plenty of laughs (and a few fart jokes) along the way.