The GREATEST Comedies of All-Time w/ Judd Apatow | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

Summary

Podcast Summary: "The GREATEST Comedies of All-Time w/ Judd Apatow | 2 Bears, 1 Cave"

Release Date: October 21, 2024
Host/Authors: Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Guest: Judd Apatow
Platform: 2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer at YMH Studios

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Introduction to the Episode

In this engaging episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave, comedians Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer are joined by renowned comedian and producer Judd Apatow. The trio delves deep into the world of comedy, exploring its evolution, the challenges of writing, and personal anecdotes from their illustrious careers. True to the show's format, the conversation is rich with humor, insights, and heartfelt moments.

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The Evolution of Comedy Over Time

Judd Apatow opens the discussion by highlighting the complexities of evolving one's comedic voice as life circumstances change. He remarks on how personal experiences, such as having children, influence the themes and content of comedy.

[00:40] Judd Apatow: "I think at this age, your comedy gets really harder because all your jokes become about decay... everything is about injuries."

Tom Segura adds his perspective on the difficulty of maintaining originality in comedy as one's life shifts.

[00:18] Tom Segura: "It sucks... especially when your life changes and you're like, okay, now I gotta write comedy and I'm a new person."

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Personal Anecdotes from Judd Apatow

A standout moment in the episode is when Judd Apatow shares a nostalgic and humorous story about his childhood encounter with Steve Martin. At age 13, amidst a fascination with Martin, Apatow’s attempt to secure an autograph leads to an unexpected exchange.

[10:50] Judd Apatow: "I got a package... he wrote to Judd Apatow. Your friend Steve Martin."

This anecdote not only humanizes Apatow but also underscores the impact that early comedic influences have on one's career trajectory.

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The Role of Collaboration in Comedy

The conversation shifts to the significance of collaboration in creating memorable comedies. Apatow emphasizes the importance of nurturing creative teams and fostering environments where unique comedic voices can flourish.

[32:14] Judd Apatow: "Creating collaborations, like little groups of people. Here's the group for Superbad... what their brilliance is the reason."

Tom Segura echoes this sentiment, acknowledging how collaborations have been pivotal in shaping the careers of many comedians.

[30:23] Tom Segura: "This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Think of a time recently when you didn't feel like you were being your full self..."

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The Current State of Comedy in the Digital Age

Apatow critiques the shift towards high-concept and genre-blended comedies in the modern film industry, advocating for low-concept, character-driven stories that resonate on a personal level.

[09:12] Judd Apatow: "The world really wants comedy... you don't need any genre element. You could just have Seth get someone pregnant."

Segura and Kreischer discuss the inundation of comedic content available online, expressing concerns about the dilution of comedic quality amidst the vast array of digital media.

[50:32] Judd Apatow: "We're in a world where everyone is obsessed with completion rates... there's a sense of patience that people had before."

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Personal Stories and Challenges in the Comedy Industry

The trio delves into personal struggles within the comedy sphere. Tom Segura candidly discusses his battle with academic challenges and mental health, providing a raw insight into the pressures faced by comedians.

[24:08] Judd Apatow: "I went and got a brain scan years ago... that's why everyone is stoned in all the movies."

Apatow shares his traumatic experience of a car accident, intertwining it with his professional journey and the subsequent impact on his work.

[25:36] Judd Apatow: "I was driving home... I got hit from behind. It's a weird story."

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Thoughts on Comedy Styles and Influences

Judd Apatow reflects on his influences, citing iconic figures like John Candy, Celtic Pride, and James Brooks as inspirations that shaped his comedic style. He praises Jonah Hill as the funniest actor he's ever seen, attributing much of Hill's success to the supportive environment created by collaborators like Apatow.

[28:13] Judd Apatow: "Jonah is great and was going to be great no matter what... it was their greatness that is the reason."

Segura and Kreischer discuss the differing comedic styles and how each comedian’s unique approach contributes to the richness of the comedy landscape.

[43:51] Judd Apatow: "Like Seth Rogen At 16, we're going to get into Seth Rogen was crazy, but crazy funny."

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Fitness and Personal Life Discussions

The conversation takes a lighter turn as the hosts and Apatow discuss personal fitness routines and lifestyle choices. Tom Segura shares his disciplined workout regimen, emphasizing the mental health benefits he derives from regular exercise.

[71:52] Tom Segura: "I do a workout in the morning... it lets my brain unclog a little bit."

Apatow humorously recounts his aversion to traditional workouts, preferring alternative methods to maintain his fitness.

[72:39] Judd Apatow: "I just have a panic attack the second I get on the treadmill."

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Upcoming Projects and Shows

Wrapping up the episode, Bert Kreischer and Tom Segura promote their upcoming shows, highlighting charitable efforts such as hurricane relief benefits. Judd Apatow announces his participation in these events, showcasing the collaborative spirit of the comedy community.

[55:37] Judd Apatow: "I'm going to do this, I'm doing it for Florida hurricane."

Tom Segura extends gratitude towards Judd Apatow, underscoring the long-standing friendship and mutual respect between them.

[96:40] Tom Segura: "...for everything you've made, everything you've ever been a part of, everything you've touched has brought me so much joy. And all I can say is just thank you. You're a fucking awesome dude."

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Closing Remarks

The episode concludes with heartfelt thanks and a reaffirmation of the bond between Tom Segura, Bert Kreischer, and Judd Apatow. They emphasize the importance of maintaining genuine connections in the fast-paced world of comedy and entertainment.

[97:32] Tom Segura: "Now it's time, I'm going to wrap this up. Thank you, Judd."

[97:48] Judd Apatow: "You're the man. Thank you."

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Judd Apatow on Comedy's Evolution:

  "[00:40] Judd Apatow: 'I think at this age, your comedy gets really harder because all your jokes become about decay... everything is about injuries.'"

• Tom Segura on Writing Challenges:

  "[00:18] Tom Segura: 'It sucks... especially when your life changes and you're like, okay, now I gotta write comedy and I'm a new person.'"

• Judd Apatow's Steve Martin Story:

  "[10:50] Judd Apatow: 'I got a package... he wrote to Judd Apatow. Your friend Steve Martin.'"

• Apatow on Collaboration:

  "[32:14] Judd Apatow: 'Creating collaborations, like little groups of people. Here's the group for Superbad... what their brilliance is the reason.'"

• Apatow on Modern Comedy:

  "[09:12] Judd Apatow: 'The world really wants comedy... you don't need any genre element. You could just have Seth get someone pregnant.'"

• Tom Segura on Personal Struggles:

  "[24:08] Judd Apatow: 'I went and got a brain scan years ago... that's why everyone is stoned in all the movies.'"

• Apatow on Jonah Hill:

  "[28:13] Judd Apatow: 'Jonah is great and was going to be great no matter what... it was their greatness that is the reason.'"

• Tom Segura on Fitness:

  "[71:52] Tom Segura: 'I do a workout in the morning... it lets my brain unclog a little bit.'"

• Closing Gratitude:

  "[96:40] Tom Segura: '...for everything you've made, everything you've ever been a part of, everything you've touched has brought me so much joy. And all I can say is just thank you. You're a fucking awesome dude.'"

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Conclusion

This episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave offers a profound look into the minds of some of the most influential figures in modern comedy. Through candid conversations and personal stories, Tom Segura, Bert Kreischer, and Judd Apatow provide listeners with invaluable insights into the art and business of making people laugh. Whether you're a comedy enthusiast or someone seeking inspiration from comedy veterans, this episode is a treasure trove of wisdom and wit.

Transcript

[Bert Kreischer]

Tickets are available now for my upcoming November shows. November 27th, I'm in Hollywood, Florida at the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel and Casino. And November 29th, I'm in Tallahassee, Florida at the Donald L. Tucker Civic Center.

[Judd Apatow]

100%.

[Tom Segura]

It sucks. About. Like, writing a new hour is, I'm assuming, totally different than writing a new movie where you just go, like, you get an idea and you go, I'm inspired. Let's fill it out.

[Judd Apatow]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Whereas opposed to, you get a new hour and you're like, especially where I'm at. I'm dying to talk to you about this, but especially when your life changes and you're like, okay, now I gotta write comedy and I'm a new person.

[Judd Apatow]

Yeah. Like, that's, you know, like, who's this? And is this a funnier version? Like, I've been talking a lot about how I think at this age, your comedy, it gets really harder to do because all your jokes become about decay. You know, like, my kids have been out of the house for a little while now, and so all fun stuff is about being young and trying to meet girls or, like, getting married and having babies. And as soon as your kids are, like, fully out of the house, all your jokes become about, like, isn't diverticulitis funny? Like, everything is about injuries.

[Tom Segura]

I got diverticulosis, the first stage of diverticulitis.

[Judd Apatow]

Yeah, I can.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, I had a joke about my colonoscopy.

[Judd Apatow]

Your whole act is just about that. And so. And then you're like, is this just a shitty stage of life that no one wants to hear about? And then should you not talk about, like, you know.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, I did. I did a rant that was. I should do an intro. I got to do an intro because I feel like. I feel like people sleep on how much you gave us.

[Judd Apatow]

Okay, all right. This is going to take some time.

[Tom Segura]

This is. This is.

[Judd Apatow]

What you're about to read is more like a mental breakdown.

[Tom Segura]

It is. Can you name your movies?

[Judd Apatow]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

For real?

[Judd Apatow]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Can you think you can name them all? Yeah, go ahead. No, I'm curious how accurate you'd be.

[Judd Apatow]

Like, from the very beginning.

[Tom Segura]

No, no. Well, I start with, I always feel like cable guy.

[Judd Apatow]

Yeah. But there was one before cable guy.

[Tom Segura]

Heavyweights.

[Judd Apatow]

Heavyweights.

[Tom Segura]

Celtic pride.

[Judd Apatow]

Celtic pride.

[Tom Segura]

40 year old virgin Fun with Dick and Jane.

[Judd Apatow]

That's right.

[Tom Segura]

Knocked Up.

[Judd Apatow]

Mm.

[Tom Segura]

The Hills. What's that one? I never saw that.

[Judd Apatow]

That was just a short film. A friend of mine.

[Tom Segura]

Walk Hard.

[Judd Apatow]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

You don't mess with the Zohan Pineapple Express. Funny people. Hold on. These are just.

[Judd Apatow]

As a writer, there's a producer list. There's a producer list, Associate producer lists.

[Tom Segura]

Pop star. Never Stop Stopping.

[Judd Apatow]

Never stop. Never stopping.

[Tom Segura]

Never stop. Never Stopping. Train wreck. Anchorman. Anchorman 2. Get him to the Greek. I mean, year one. Pineapple Express. Step Brothers. Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Which one? Super bad. Wait, like, do you ever feel like. And I'm just wondering.

[Judd Apatow]

Stopping. Just stopping. And.

[Tom Segura]

No. Do you ever feel like. Like when you see a negative comment online that you want to write back? Hey, man, you meant to say thank you.

[Judd Apatow]

Well, I'm always talking to my kids and friends about. Anybody can find the most vicious thing about them at any time of the day or night. Tom Hanks right now could go online and find the most vicious attacks. I mean, him maybe more than anybody because just chuck him into conspiracy theories and. And things like that. So, you know the discipline it takes not to dip your toe in those waters. Because I love the idea of talking to everybody and mixing it up with everyone. But. But you know what? In the old days, like, I always think that people weren't supposed to like everything because we didn't share everything. So if you like Metallica, you didn't pay attention to country music. But now, because it's all in a big soup, people attack the thing that they normally wouldn't like anyway.

[Tom Segura]

It's funny, I never. I never thought much about fugazi. Yeah, Like, I just. I had never thought much about them. Like, I knew they were banned and I knew that they were popular. Some of my friends. And then last night I got into a fugazi kick and I was like, I was like watching this epic fugazi picture. And all of a sudden I become informed about fugazi and no effects. And then all of a sudden I'm like, wait, maybe I should never have learned about this. But it's interesting because people get involved in stuff, maybe isn't for them.

[Judd Apatow]

Yeah, but why wouldn't you want to get involved in it?

[Tom Segura]

I have a theory that if you are almost like, it should be state mandated that we take an IQ test and then we get a certain amount of information sent to us by the government that is within our IQ range that we shouldn't get stuff that is out of our IQ range. Because then you, all of a sudden, you become this informed person when you really aren't. You're just regurgitating facts at a dinner party that you never learned. You just heard Andrew Huberman say them, and now you're saying, here's the benefits of cold plunging. Yes. Your brown fat is, you know, and you're like, did you learn that or did you read it? Or did you. Are you reciting it? There's a difference between an original thought, I believe, like a truly original thought, and then someone who's reciting an original thought and then discerning the difference is wild to me. And what's crazy also in that same breath, because of those movies you've made, you kind of birthed a bunch of us. Isn't that wild?

[Judd Apatow]

Well, I feel super birthed by the people that I was in love with. I love James Brooks. I love Cameron Crowe and Fast Times at Ridgemont High and Todd Salons and Nicole Holof center and Barry Levinson. And then before our movies did well, you know, Jim Carrey busted through with Ace Ventura and things like that and the Mask. And I think all I thought was, is there a way to combine, like Terms of Endearment and Ace Ventura? Can you do both? Can you be emotional and get to hard comedy and have it not be bullshit and have the switch in tone not be weird? Like, you found a style where it could be really silly, really broad, but when it goes to feelings, it still feels like it's part of the same movie.

[Tom Segura]

That's really fascinating. You've done that very well in that, in that. In movies, in all of your movies. Some of them, Some of them are just fucking. Just like the Doobie Cox is just fucking. I mean, it's just like one of the fucking. There's a. There's a new thing that's. It's now going around about him singing a Bob Dylan song where it's just him and it's so hysterical because I. And I don't think I saw how funny it was at the time. Yeah, but you really did cut that line of like. Like forgetting Sarah Marshall is one of the great. One of the greatest movies. It's one of the greatest movie. I would say that about so many movies you've worked on or been. I mean, 40 year old virgin, Kevin Hart scene when he starts. This is one of my favorite scenes I've ever seen in a movie.

[Judd Apatow]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Was he. How much of that was Kevin Hart? How much of that was you guys?

[Judd Apatow]

An enormous amount of it was Romney Malko and Kevin Hart just going hard. I mean, I had met Kevin when he was like in his early, early twenties and we did a pilot together with Jason Siegel and Amy Poehler and it didn't get picked up, but I just loved Kevin. I'm like, this is gonna be the guy when he was just a kid. And then I couldn't break him because just the projects didn't get picked up. And then he did a bunch of spots on Undeclared and was hilarious. And then we were doing the 40 year old virgin, and he came in to do this scene, and it was supposed to be Rami Malcolm emotionally falling apart. And instead of schmoozing a customer, he starts fighting a customer. And believe me, there's a lot of riffing there. There's a lot of language there that I certainly would not have pitched to the two gentlemen. But we used to always do, like, the extended version of the movie. So we would put out a director's cut. And I didn't realize you weren't supposed to add that much. So when we did the extended cut of the 40 year old virgin, I added 17 minutes. And so that scene. A lot of people know that scene as this long version of the scene because I added, like, another, like, minute and a half.

[Tom Segura]

It's one of my favorite parts of the whole movie. But it's so interesting. You did happen. You did find a. You did find a way to create. I think what they're doing now is more action comedy, whereas you did emotional comedy.

[Judd Apatow]

Yeah, exactly. Now everyone wants things to be like a genre thing, like a superhero movie with comedy. You know, Barbie's a comedy, basically. So I keep telling everyone, you know, the world really wants comedy. All these movies that make a billion dollars, they're basically comedies, but usually with another big genre element where I was always into. You don't need any genre element. You could just have Seth get someone pregnant. Like, the smallest things in life is a whole movie. Just. You know, Jason Siegel wrote Forgetting Sarah Marshall just about. What if you tried to escape your breakup by going on vacation and she was there, and that's just the whole movie. I like low concept, and I think we're in a little bit of a high concept era now.

[Tom Segura]

I think so, because there's so much.

[Judd Apatow]

Shit, there's so many shows, there's so many movies. And so this idea that there can be a subtler concept, I think they think it's harder to bust through the noise that way. I don't necessarily agree with that, but to me, just two people trying to get along is enough.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, it's. I have so much stuff I want to talk to you about because. And I have a list that Tom sent me of what he wanted to talk to. It's all stuff that Tom was supposed to be here, and he got fucking deposed because of this whole Garth Brooks thing.

[Judd Apatow]

Oh, he somehow part of that?

[Tom Segura]

Well, yeah, because he was an early adapter to, like, calling him out. And so now the courts think that.

[Judd Apatow]

They think he knows something.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, he was. Been talking about it for four years. It's like, listen, if you predict 911, even if you have tinfoil on top of your head, when 911 happens, they're going to be like, yo, what did you know?

[Judd Apatow]

If you were listening to that much Chris Gaines, you must know something.

[Tom Segura]

That's the part you don't know is like, Tom was obsessed with Garth Brooks before that this year.

[Judd Apatow]

No, I know.

[Tom Segura]

For the whole fucking.

[Judd Apatow]

And when you do a Chris Gaines thing where the world is like, I don't know if you're joking, it seems like you're serious. It makes you just wonder what's happening in that mind.

[Tom Segura]

All right, where do we start? So I want to get back. I want to start with early. You.

[Judd Apatow]

Okay?

[Tom Segura]

Because I'm. Cause Leanne told me this story last night. You know. You know Leanne's obsessed with you. Like, you know, Leanne's a huge fucking fan. She goes, did you know that he sent a letter to Steve Martin because Steve Martin was a dick? And Steve Martin wrote back. What did Steve Martin wrote back? Wait, what did you write to Steve Martin? Tell me the story.

[Judd Apatow]

I'll tell the story. I always feel bad telling it because it is a perfect story. So I've told it so much, and I always think it must annoy Steve Martin how often I get asked about this story. But it is a weird, perfect story, which is, I was visiting my grandmother when I was, like, 13, and she lived in Beverly Hills. So I went from Long island to Beverly Hills, and I knew where Steve Martin lived. I just knew his address. His house had been in a magazine. So anytime we went anywhere, I said, we have to drive past Steve Martin's house, even if it was out of the way. Just anytime we left the house, let's pass by Steve Martin's house. And I couldn't believe that he was in there, because it was like a cement house. It almost looked like a prison. And there were no windows or anything. And, like, he's in there. Like, the jerk is in that building. And I just loved him so much. And then one day we drive by, and he's out in the front yard. In my head, he has, like, a hose, and maybe he's washing his car or something.

[Tom Segura]

And he's in his. And he's got a dog holding his. Covering his dick and a robe on and a little lamp.

[Judd Apatow]

He's got a paddle. Yeah, the remote. But. So there he is. So I grab a piece of paper and I jump out of the car and I say, can I have your autograph? And quite reasonably, he says, no, I don't sign autographs at my house because then everybody will come by my house. And by the way, he's Beyonce at this point. Oh, yeah, he's Taylor Swift now at that moment. And so he says, sorry, I can't sign autographs at my house. And I said, well, will you sign it in the street? Which is pretty good for 13, right? And he says, I'm so sorry, I can't. And then I started begging like, I'm from New York. I won't tell anyone where you live. Please.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, my God.

[Judd Apatow]

And he goes, really? I'm so sorry. Nice to meet you. I'm so sorry. So I get back in the car and we drive home, and I'm like 13 year old furious about it. And I take out a legal pad and I write, dear Steve Martin, I am your biggest fan, and you wouldn't live in that house if I didn't buy all of your albums and Godzilla, your movies and bought all your books. So if you don't send me an apology, I'm going to send your address to Homes of the Stars and you're going to have tour buses passing by 24 hours a day. And then I put it in his mailbox. No stamp, stalkery.

[Tom Segura]

You just put it in his mailbox?

[Judd Apatow]

Just put it in the mailbox. Placed it in there with the red.

[Tom Segura]

Lipstick on the back.

[Judd Apatow]

Now, if somebody walked up to my house, I just called security people. As an adult, you're like, yeah, the last thing on earth you want is people knocking on your door. Especially when you're at that level. And by the way, no gate now everyone's got a gate.

[Tom Segura]

Do you still know where that house is?

[Judd Apatow]

Yes, it's on Bedford in Beverly Hills. I don't know if it's there. It may have been torn down. Torn down. But yeah, no gate, no security. So I put in his mailbox. I don't think anything of it. And then like, maybe like five months later, like a long time later, I get a package. I open it up. He had a book called Cruel Shoes, which was funny short stories. And in it he wrote to Judd, I'm sorry, I didn't realize I was speaking to the underlined three times. Judd Apatow. Your friend Steve Martin. And that was in 1980, 44 years ago. So what I always explain to people when I tell that story is first of all, I thought I must have made him laugh with the letter.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Judd Apatow]

Because the letter was meant to be funny. And he wouldn't have sent those books if I was just mean because I probably forgot half of what the letter said. I've kind of reduced it to like three jokes. So the idea that I made him laugh enough that he would send me the books to me was like, come into my world. Like, you can touch this world. Because you know when you're a kid, you've never met anybody, you don't think you have access. There's no way in to that place you dream of being in. So I just thought I made Steve Martin laugh and just unconsciously, maybe the dream is possible.

[Tom Segura]

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[Bert Kreischer]

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[Tom Segura]

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[Judd Apatow]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Because it's. It really seems unattainable. Even. I was at a Holiday Inn in Tallahassee on Monroe, and I saw a dude on stage and I was like, how do you become that guy now?

[Judd Apatow]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

I look back and I go, that. That's a. That's a sad recipe. That doesn't work all the time.

[Judd Apatow]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Sometimes it's better not to be that guy.

[Judd Apatow]

Well, it's a, you know, it's a miracle. I think a lot about being young. You know, it's very different now. I mean, you know, pre Internet, pre cell phones, not much comedy out there. When I decided to be a comedian, there were maybe 50 comedy clubs in the whole country, and it felt like there were maybe 200 comedians total. Like, that's not so many. I could. I could become a part of that group. It didn't feel imposing. It also didn't feel like you had a shot at being a big star. It really was just, can I be a comedian? And that was it. There was no dream beyond that. And then when I lived with Adam Sandler after college, now I look back and go, how weird that we thought that we might pull it off, that there's an insanity of youth, of I'm going to go to this improv every night. I'm not accepted at the improv, but the manager, if someone doesn't show up, will let me take their spot, and if there's still people there at the end of the night, he'll put me on at the end. And I did that for years. I just wait there. Never got paid for years before I got accepted because Joe Drew, the manager, liked me enough to let me go on stage. If someone was late and you just had that weird belief like, it's going to happen. I just have to do stuff like this and be committed.

[Tom Segura]

It's funny. What plan do you like more now? It seems like there are so many comedians or back when you were. And I think I would relate myself more to your generation because I didn't know you could make money doing stand up. I knew you could do stand up and I knew you could get famous. I knew those were things like Tim Allen, Roseanne. I didn't know the arithmetic of how that worked, but I did know if you moved to New York. And. And sadly, I was. I was like, you. Where I got. When I got to New York, I saw people doing things like Judah Friedlander got a Snickers commercial where he sat on a Recliner at the 50 yard line.

[Judd Apatow]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

I remember. He's like, I got $125,000 for that. I was like, dude, that's. That's all. That's all the money I want to make. That's. If I make that, I'm upset.

[Judd Apatow]

Yeah, yeah. Sandler had a Visa commercial where he was, like, buying stuff to impress a girl for a date. And I don't. I think he made, like 30 grand, but that was mind boggling. I Remember getting paid 50 bucks at Eastside Comedy Club to host an open mic night. The first time I got paid, and to me, if it ended there, I was good. Like, I just paid 50 bucks for the thing I would do for free for the rest of my life.

[Tom Segura]

I just tried to. I'm going to tell you the craziest thing I. Yesterday, I decided I was going to take $20 million out of life insurance on both my daughters. I was like, $20 million on both of them.

[Judd Apatow]

Who gets the money, though?

[Tom Segura]

Me. If they die, I get the money.

[Judd Apatow]

Why not the other kid?

[Tom Segura]

No, fuck that. The whole point is, if something happens to them, I want the money because I'm never going to work again.

[Judd Apatow]

Oh, I see.

[Tom Segura]

So I was like, yeah, I'm going to kill myself at the bottom of bottle. Yeah, you'll never see me again. Don't ever. No more podcasts, no more anything.

[Judd Apatow]

This is like a Dateline episode waiting to happen.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, well, they said, number one, you just can't take $20 million out of somebody. I'm such a child that I was just like, light it up.

[Judd Apatow]

Have you ever inherited money?

[Tom Segura]

No. And that was my big plan.

[Judd Apatow]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Like, that was. I was like, I was. I was pretty set on being an heir. Like, didn't know where the money was going to come from. I was like, it'll show up somewhere.

[Judd Apatow]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

I was like, that was what I'd be best at. I never thought. I never had a plan on working. I never thought I'd work. I never thought I'd have a passion for working. I never knew how to take notes in class. Like, I never understood how to take a test. I never understood how to study. Like, I'd Go to study with a girl in college, and we'd sit down in the library, and I'd be like, what is she doing? Are you supposed to be reading the book?

[Judd Apatow]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

How does it work?

[Judd Apatow]

I went and got a brain scan years ago, and they scanned my brain. And afterwards, I sit down with a guy and he's like, you ever been in a car accident? And I'm like, yeah. Like, from behind. He's like. I'm like, yeah. He's like, you see that little mark there? That's brain damage. And I'm like, well, what would that do? He's like, well, do you have trouble kind of, like, processing information? And I'm like, yeah. Like, do you have, like, attention stuff? I'm like, yeah. He's like, yeah, it's probably from that. And I realized, like, that's why I'm so dumb. Cause I always joke, like, the reason why everyone is dumb in all my movies, like, no character is. Like, a genius is. I can't even fake what a genius would sound like. Like, I can't even write a doctor. The way a doctor talks, it's always like, ken Jeong and knocked up. Like, I can't even do it.

[Tom Segura]

I just had to hire the actual doctor.

[Judd Apatow]

Exactly. And so there are certain things, like, I can't. Like, you could explain how a camera works, like the F stop and the aperture 100 times to me. It will fall out of my brain, really? Every single time. So that's why everyone is stoned in all the movies. It's like, I. And then I'm like, that's it. 1992. I got hit from behind. It's a weird story. I was stoned and got hit by a drunk driver. I'm driving. We had a party because the Ben Stiller show got picked up, the sketch show. And so we have, like, a little party. I always remember it because it was the night Leno made his first appearance as the host of the Tonight Show.

[Tom Segura]

Wow.

[Judd Apatow]

And I'm driving home, and I never smoked pot or drank, but I did, like, smoked pot. So I'm driving home, and I'm going, like, 27 miles an hour down Santa Monica Boulevard. And as I very carefully drive home in front of the police station on Santa Monica Boulevard, a drunk driver going, like, 60 miles an hour as I slow down for a yellow light just drives straight into me. So now I'm like, you know, I'm on. It's like a gti, a Volkswagen gti. It is completely accordioned. And then the car runs. That hit Me, like, speeds off. Hit and run. Yeah. And so now I go to the side of the street and I'm like, kind of like, oh, Jesus Christ. But I'm also stoned, but also thrown by the accident with a traumatic head injury with it. With the. Yeah. And then these people see me, and they're like, are you okay? Are you okay? And I'm like, yeah, I'm okay. And I don't know if I'm, like, trying to not act high or I am freaked out from the accident. And they look at me like, oh, you. He must be drunk. The truth is, I may not even bend high. Who knows? But then the cops pull up because it happens in front of the police station. And they go, we caught him. We already caught him. Get in the back. So now I gotta get in the back of the cop car, stoned, to find the drunk driver who hit me. And they drive me to this car, and there's these guys with handcuffs on, and they're like, is that the car? And I'm like, yeah, try not to act. Stones.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Judd Apatow]

And smells like it. Yeah. And then I got $5,000 for the car, you know, to the insurance, and my mother stole it from me because she just needed money then. So, like, I'm like, did that check come in? She's like, no, it hasn't come in. Like, two years later, I was like, what happened?

[Tom Segura]

That money?

[Judd Apatow]

Yeah, I needed it. I had some mortgage bills to pay. I'm like, I almost died in that car accident, and now I have brain damage.

[Tom Segura]

Okay, let's. Let's go back to this. Chicken and the Egg. Okay. Is there. I'm gonna. I'm gonna argue that. That Jonah Hill is the funniest actor I've ever seen on camera ever. Okay. I think he is absolutely brilliant. Chicken and the egg. Is there a Jonah Hill without Judd Apatow? Do we get Jonah Hill if we don't get a guy like Judd who allows him to figure out how to be a great fucking actor in all these movies?

[Judd Apatow]

I mean, so it's like, obviously, Jonah is great and was going to be great no matter what, would the right opportunity have lined up from. To show how great he could be? And you never know because, like, just being an actor, do you ever get that audition? And do you nail the audition on the right day to get the part? And there certainly were other people when I met Jonah who were beginning to go, who. Who is this kid? So I certainly don't take any credit for that other than as a young person who felt like I wasn't part of the culture in a lot of ways. A lot of the work I did back then was how come there aren't people like me in movies? Are the lead of movies. Like, I always thought John Candy should be the lead of every movie.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Judd Apatow]

I used to joke I'd prefer the Bourne Identity if it starred George Wendt. That's what I was trying to do.

[Tom Segura]

He was 35. In Cheers, he was 35 years.

[Judd Apatow]

So there was all these people that were brilliantly funny. Seth Rogen At 16, we're going to get into. Seth Rogen was crazy, but crazy funny. But it was a thing that. Would they have done it anyway?

[Tom Segura]

Seth Rogen wouldn't have. And I'll tell you why I have to tell you these. The.

[Judd Apatow]

The.

[Tom Segura]

Your children. And I just. And I put Steve Carell in that group. I put fucking. I put all. I put Paul Rudd in that group. The people that you directed, produced, helped spawn Jason Siegel. All these brilliant, brilliant, brilliant actors have been in other stuff. Like Seth Rogen was in Donnie Darko and was. Did not pop. No one gave him the air to breathe. Like.

[Judd Apatow]

Like.

[Tom Segura]

And that is the. That is the biggest problem with. With. I think with auditioning and acting is you don't get directors and producers who go, let's be yourself. Let's be as wild. And you gave that. And I use Jonah as an example because in that. In that, like, I'll just say super bad as an example. The scene with him and the teacher where it was like him just fucking riffing.

[Judd Apatow]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

That is the Jonah Hill we have today. People saw that, and then we. That allowed him to become who he is today. I believe this is me, Bert Chrysler. Just so as a fan.

[Judd Apatow]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

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[Judd Apatow]

You have one new voicemail. Hi.

[Tom Segura]

So you would be so proud of me. I'm hosting Thanksgiving for my friends, and I was stressed because I really wanted it to feel just like Michigan. But then I found the same stuffing mix that you use on Instacart, and I ordered instant gravy, canned cranberry. What else? Oh, I got everyone a little butter sculpture shaped like a turkey. All right, I should probably get cooking, but I missed you today. Happy Thanksgiving, Mom. Oh, and you should download Instacart. It's way easier than sending dad to the store. Download Instacart and enjoy free delivery on your first three orders. Service fees and terms apply.

[Judd Apatow]

I mean, I think, like, there's always, like, a ton of people involved in that. Greg Mottola directed Superbad, and he had done an amazing movie called the Day Trippers. And we're like, what if we got a great director to direct this movie? Like, not like your classic comedy director. What if we got, like, a real director?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Judd Apatow]

And that raised the game of everybody and the quality of the movie. But I certainly was a champion of a certain type of person and a certain style of behavior. And a lot of it came from. You know, I love diner. Like, to me, like, diner and Fast Times were pretty big templates for a certain kind of comedy style.

[Tom Segura]

Who did you see yourself as in Fast Times at Ridgemont High?

[Judd Apatow]

Like the. The nerd who worked at the movie theater, not the cool guy who sold the tickets, like, the guy with him. That's kind of more what I was relating to.

[Tom Segura]

I saw myself as the guy that worked at the fucking. I saw myself as Judge Judd Reinhold.

[Judd Apatow]

Judge. Yeah. Yeah, maybe. But I think I didn't even think of myself as cool as Judge Reinhold.

[Tom Segura]

I thought he was a dork. He had caught Jerking off because he.

[Judd Apatow]

Had the energy to tell the boss to fuck off and stuff. And I never felt like I had that energy.

[Tom Segura]

I wanted to be. I wanted to be Sean Penn.

[Judd Apatow]

Yes. Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

I always wanted to be Sean Penn.

[Judd Apatow]

I mean, maybe I'm trying to think who I related to. I mean, there are things that I liked that I didn't feel like I was like them. I loved John Cusack, and say Anything was a big movie. I loved welcome to the Dollhouse, you know, which is this great Todd Solans movie about this girl in junior high school gets, like, bullied, and it's just really dark and funny. But so I championed people. And then there was these huge collaborations where Jason Siegel wrote Forgetting Sarah Marshall. And so the thing that I did is, like, I believe in you as a writer, even though you've never written a script. But he was a genius in what he did. And that's the case for everybody. It's more like creating collaborations, like little groups of people. Like, here's the group for Superbad. Seth and Evan had worked on that script since they were, like, 13 years old. So my main thing was like, this is worth us pursuing vigorously over many, many years. This is worth our time to keep improving. And when everyone says no for half a decade, let's continue to fight to see if we could ever get anyone to make it. But it's their greatness that is the reason. Because what I noticed is that in retrospect, a lot of people try to get more credit for these things. And as I get older, I'm like, no, the best part is that we created these teams and pulled this off, these little families.

[Tom Segura]

That was your brilliance, is you seem to have this great coach energy. And I keep getting stuck. Like, as I was working out this morning, I'm with my trainer, and he said, dude, he's the reason my sense of humor is from Judd. And I was like, what? He's like, all of us, like, all those movies we all watched when we were kids, every one of his fucking movies, he defined comedy at that time. And I was like, oh, I forgot. And then I printed your list, and I was like, all of them? Like, it's wild.

[Judd Apatow]

Yeah, it's like a mental break. You know what I mean? Because I think what happened was no one wanted to do our stuff for a long time. So we kept writing as if one day they would. And then when one of them hit, the first one was that I didn't work on it, but Old School was a hit, and Will Ferrell was an Old school. And that opened the floodgates. And that made them want to make Anchorman, which Will wrote with Adam McKay. And Adam directed it and I produced it. And then because that did well, they allowed us to do the 40 year old virgin. And then suddenly all those scripts that we couldn't get anyone to make, like Superbad and Pineapple Express, they said yes to all of them. So now suddenly we're really busy because we had this backlog of rejected movies. And then they said, okay, what if we did all of them? And people were so passionate because each one was the person who wrote its most passion project. Forgetting Sarah Marshall was the obsession of Jason Siegel. Seth and Evan were obsessed with Superbad at Pineapple Express.

[Tom Segura]

Me and.

[Judd Apatow]

Me and Jake were obsessed with Walk Hard. So, yeah, so that's what that run was based on. It was based on having too much rejected stuff. And then suddenly the floodgates opened, like, do you want to try to make all of it?

[Tom Segura]

They're still rejecting my stuff.

[Judd Apatow]

Yeah, me too. I mean, now it's different. It's a different type. There was certainly economics of the industry where everyone was buying DVDs, and everyone was buying the DVDs of these comedies, and so the bar to get them made was much lower.

[Tom Segura]

I'm saying this for the listeners. I think the movie industry is. I find it fascinating, but I think it's also confusing. Like when you say you produced Forgetting Sarah Marshall, what does a producer do to the average person listening? What do they do?

[Judd Apatow]

Well, like, that was something that Jason had this idea for a script, and then Nick Stoller, who directed it, sent to me. If I help him by overseeing the writing, I'd love to direct it. And he had never directed before. So as a producer, you know, I got this, what the script sold. I got Nick approved to be the director.

[Tom Segura]

So you're taking it to the studio.

[Judd Apatow]

Studio.

[Tom Segura]

And you're saying, and you have a connection with the studio. You're saying, do you have a deal at the studio?

[Judd Apatow]

I have a deal at the studio, which is basically just to show them things I believe in.

[Tom Segura]

And so you walk in, you have a connect, like a person you talk to probably on a daily basis or once a week. And you go, this is a script with Jason Siegel. I know you don't know who Jason Siegel is, but he's awesome. He was in Freaks and Geeks. He's awesome.

[Judd Apatow]

Well, they know him from Knocked up at that point.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, he was. Oh, yeah. He had been knocked up, but he.

[Judd Apatow]

Hadn'T been the lead in a movie. And it is one of those situations where, because no one knew Steve Carell, when 40 year old virgin came out, that in that environment, they were like, oh, people will go see movies starring people they don't know or that aren't big stars.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Judd Apatow]

And so because those movies did well and Seth did great with Knocked up, they were like, oh, so this is an interesting formula. You can expose someone to someone new, make a movie at a reasonable budget, and we trust that you guys are doing a decent job. But it's all the script. And so Jason, with Nick's help, came up with an incredible script. If the script didn't blow your mind, they weren't gonna let you make it. Part of it was it was an incredible piece of writing. And also, Jason meant it. Like, everything he was talking about and with heartbreak, he was being very personal. And that's why people love it so much, because they can. They can tell it's not just a fabrication. It's. These are his feelings.

[Tom Segura]

That's the reason I like him is. And, like, I never watched How I met your Mother. Like, I just. Whatever movies he's done, the one with Paul Rudd, I loved it.

[Judd Apatow]

I love you, man.

[Tom Segura]

I love you, man. The reason I like him is he seems overly sensitive. Like, he seems like. He seems. He seems like he probably doesn't go online. He probably doesn't like. And I feel like I heard one time about John Candy that he was. Steve Martin was saying he was a very, very sensitive guy, and he could almost. It was almost a problem how sensitive he was. That is 100% me. And I identify with sensitive people. I can see it in people. And I feel like that's Jason Siegel. I feel like he's like. Like, he's like, I don't know. And I think he's got a big dick. So, like, I can't understand why he's.

[Judd Apatow]

Where does it come from? Where does it come from?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Judd Apatow]

I mean, that should, like, kind of balance it all out. I mean, I used to love writing for Jason. Like, Freaks and Geeks scenes where he was like a nightmare to Linda Cardellini. You know, there's like, the scene where he sings lady to her to tell her how much he loves her. So he sings lady or Lady Elle when he writes a song called Lady Elle about her. Like, kind of the cringiest. I love you so much, but you. And then where the girl clearly doesn't reciprocate, which is how I always felt as a kid. Like, I'm trying to show you how much. And they're just like, oh, God, this is a nightmare that you are telling me how much you like me. And the same. When we did Undeclared, this college show, I remember Undeclared.

[Tom Segura]

Kevin Hart was in that.

[Judd Apatow]

Yeah. And Siegel would be the long distance boyfriend of Carla Gallo. And he would always just be on the phone, are you cheating on me? And he could improvise it all day long like crazy.

[Tom Segura]

Long distance boyfriend is James Franco. Is he as funny in person as he is in movies? Like, is that. Is that a character he's doing, or is he really, like, kind of, like, goofy funny?

[Judd Apatow]

You know, he was always very funny, you know, because we improvised a lot on Freaks and Geeks and then he didn't do comedies for a while. He did a lot of very serious movies.

[Tom Segura]

He's a great. By the way, he could. I think he could have been our next James Dean.

[Judd Apatow]

I was at this film festival and I saw this movie that he directed that was really experimental and hilarious, and we all hadn't worked together in years. And I was like, we're going to do this movie, Pineapple Express. Maybe you should talk to Seth about it. And then they reversed the parts.

[Tom Segura]

I think that's what happened in Neighbors with John Candy and John Belushi. And I always feel like it was a mistake, but it worked in that.

[Judd Apatow]

Yeah. Well, I mean, I always love Neighbors. I know if people remember that movie.

[Tom Segura]

Corey Feldman's in it.

[Judd Apatow]

Really? A young Corey Feldman, by the way.

[Tom Segura]

Don'T ever listen to a word I say. I had a teacher that loved me, loved me. It's coolest guy in the world. He's. He passed away during. When I was in college, but he brought up Sam Cooke. I go, shot woman. And he went, really? I said, I wouldn't listen to me. I don't know. And he.

[Judd Apatow]

That isn't true, by the way.

[Tom Segura]

It is kind of.

[Judd Apatow]

I don't think that's what they think happened.

[Tom Segura]

No, no, that's what happened. That's what they framed him.

[Judd Apatow]

They framed him for that.

[Tom Segura]

They framed him for that.

[Judd Apatow]

Yeah. There's a documentary on Netflix about this.

[Tom Segura]

For real.

[Judd Apatow]

There's like a full documentary about that case because it's a really weird murder.

[Tom Segura]

I know what I'm smoking pot and watching tonight. That is. I was obsessed with Sam Cooke. I was obsessed with Sam Cooke because of Moonlighting.

[Judd Apatow]

The TV show.

[Tom Segura]

The TV show. That character, Bruce Willis character, listened to Sam Cooke and I was like, I want to be cool like him. So I bought Sam Cooke albums. And I put them on. I got tapes, and I would mow the lawn, listen to Sam Cooke going, I will get into Sam Cooke.

[Judd Apatow]

That's how I got obsessed with Al Jarreau.

[Tom Segura]

Are you serious?

[Judd Apatow]

Some go by night, some go by day. Moonlighting, strangers.

[Tom Segura]

Wait, that was the theme? He sang the song.

[Judd Apatow]

That's the theme to Moonlighting. I used to listen to Al Jarreau records as a kid, make out with my girlfriend, listening to Al Jiro records. Then I always felt bad because as a scene and Knocked up, where Seth and Paul are talking, and Paul's talking about bands he likes because he's in the record industry, and they talk about Steely Dan. And I love Steely Dan, but Seth keeps talking about how much he hates Steely Daniel. And Paul's like, no, no, the early stuff. The early stuff. And Seth goes, if. If I ever hear Celia Dan again, I hope someone cuts my head off with an Al Jarreau record.

[Tom Segura]

Fucking obsessed with Steely Dan. I love John Mulaney. Yeah, I love John Mulaney. When I first met him, I was like, oh, I get it. Like, he's smart. He's an SNL guy. He's like, what, Harvard kid or Georgetown kid? Nick Kroll. John Mulaney. He's like, it'll be cool. He didn't drink. I didn't think so. I was like. I was like, never was my speed.

[Judd Apatow]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Like, I was like, I'll probably never get into a conversation with him. And he was friends with Amy, and I was like, but he's funny. You know, I like, like, nice guy. And then I heard him say, yeah, the reason I don't drink is because in college I got really into cocaine and Steely Dan. And I went, I fucking love John Mulaney. I was like, he's the sexiest comic we've got. No one knows the fucking danger inside that, because I've been there. I've obsessed with Steely Dan.

[Judd Apatow]

Yeah. No, I go down. I go down these wormholes where I watch documentaries on YouTube. It'll just be like a 15 minute documentary about the guy who did the solo on peg and just explaining how they recorded the solo. I find that in these times that are so stressful with the world and hurricanes and politics, the only thing that makes me relax is short documentaries about why rock bands broke up. You know, here's why Fleetwood Mac broke up. Here's why foreigners mad at each other. That is my sedative.

[Tom Segura]

I'm fascinated by what your Instagram algorithm looks like. I'M fascinated what everyone's algorithm looks like.

[Judd Apatow]

Like what is offered to me. I'm always hitting that button. Stop recommending. It's more the YouTube algorithm.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, I fucking. I don't. I am very precious with YouTube. YouTube is my go to. Yeah, my YouTube algorithm is history, history, history. Really it is.

[Judd Apatow]

Mine is just interviews with P. Diddy's bodyguards. It's just a lot of Vlad tv.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, you do not listen to watch Vlad tv.

[Judd Apatow]

I'm deep in all of those. Are you serious? Where they talk to, like former bodyguards and, you know, gangsters and Italian gangsters and rappers and.

[Tom Segura]

Are you sure you're into Vlad tv?

[Judd Apatow]

Jaguar writes. You know, I'm going deep down the well of, of, of. I like these long form interviews. You know, what happened to Diddy's party? I'll. I'll do time with that.

[Tom Segura]

So are you, are you like a cinephile?

[Judd Apatow]

I'm not. You know, I didn't get into it like movies, because I love movies. I just wanted to be, you know, Jeff Altman or Seinfeld, you know, when I was a kid. And so I liked movies, but I didn't watch them. Like, I'm going to study the angles of the cinematography. I just liked, you know, Meatballs and Stripes and that was it, you know, the Little Serpico. So it took me years later to try to figure out, like, cinema and the technology of it because I paid no attention whatsoever. I was just a Ghostbusters guy.

[Tom Segura]

Oh. I always say, like a long time ago, I put up a tweet. I was like, what are the five comedies that defined you? And mine were all Bill Murray. Yeah, like, they were all Bill Murray. It was like Stripes, Caddyshack, I mean, John Candy, Bill Murray. Not even John Belushi. And I. And I know I'm a Farley Belushi guy. Like, that's my, my, those are my, like my heroes. Like, man, Bill Murray just got to find my sense of humor. It's so funny. I look at so many of my friends, so many of my friends in comedy that are, that are spawned from your movies. Oh, yeah. Their sensibility is still like, mine will always be Chevy Chase, Bill Murray walking into a bar, you know, with a one liner, a thing, a drink still. You know, I go a little Rodney Danger Field to it. And theirs is still like, they're still quoting Superbad. They're still like, they're still. I don't even think most of them realize it. You know, I think, I think that's something that we Realized because movies were so precious to us.

[Judd Apatow]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Like, they were so big in 1984. The movies in 1984 were the biggest movies I've ever could imagine. I just did it the other day. Did a post of like, the big movies in 1984. I just posted this the other day and. Because the songs in 1984 were epic. 1984, Beverly Hills Cop, Ghostbusters, Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, Gremlins, the Karate Kid, Police Academy, Footloose, Romance in the Stone and then Star Trek, Search for Spock.

[Judd Apatow]

Compare that to this year.

[Tom Segura]

Wow.

[Judd Apatow]

Right?

[Tom Segura]

We pull up. Pull up the biggest grossing movies. It's got to be Marvel, Marvel, Marvel.

[Judd Apatow]

It's. Yeah, it's just. It's just a very different thing. But you don't. You always think like. But like, everybody thinks that, like every. Like, no older person's. Like, in my generation, we had Cary Grant inside Barbara Stanwyck. I heard that was excellent. Inside two, Deadpool and Wolverine. People love Spick Wolf May. Part of the series. Dune Part 2. People love. It's just very different. Right. It's like big Godzilla, yolo. I've never successor Bad Boys Rider. I see. It's a very different tone of the list now. Say the list again. The 84 list.

[Tom Segura]

It's Beverly Hills Cop, Ghostbusters, Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. Gremlins, the Karate Kid, Police Academy, Footloose, Romancing the Stone, Star Trek, the Search for Spock. Romancing the Stone is out of that whole. I mean, these.

[Judd Apatow]

I would say this a big difference. Charm.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Judd Apatow]

I think that those movies kind of. There's a warmth and a charm to them.

[Tom Segura]

Michael Douglas in Romancing this. That's one of my favorite movies in the world. I think more movies should be made like that. And he is just like, charming as fucking.

[Judd Apatow]

Well, there's a lot of chemistry in those movies. And also they're lower intensity. Like, everything has just gotten more intense because we're in a world where everyone is obsessed with completion rates and pulling you through the show on the streamer so you never shut it off. So everything must be intense every second. Either turning you on or scaring you or violence so that you won't shut shit off. You know, things don't calm down.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Judd Apatow]

And that's the whole thing. When you hear about shows like what was the completion rate? I heard a lot of people just watch for 17 minutes, you know. Oh, people just watch the first four, but they didn't get through all eight of that show. And we didn't Used to talk like that before. You know, there was a, you know, a sense of that people had some patience and they would finish it. But you know, I've been thinking a lot about, you know, the need for comedy. You know, in the old days you would wait all week to go see Ghostbusters and you wouldn't see much during the week. Maybe you'd watch MASH or something. But like you were excited to have that entertainment. But now, I mean, if you're like just scrolling through TikTok and YouTube, you've seen a thousand of the best jokes of all time.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Judd Apatow]

Like I could just right now look at cat videos and people falling and pranks and they are great. Not all of them, but enough of them that it might make you go, I don't know if I need to see a movie this weekend.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, we were so deprived of entertainment. My entertainment was riding my bike around our neighborhood.

[Judd Apatow]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Like, that was my, that was like a, like I got nothing to do. I'm gonna get on my bike and just ride around the block.

[Judd Apatow]

Yeah. And then Indiana Jones is coming out on the weekend. So what would that mean to you when you've just been circling the block out of boredom all week and now it's just like the need for that break and how exciting and exciting a movie was.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Judd Apatow]

Was very different. When right now, like at any moment when you're online at Starbucks, you're gonna watch a freeway chase and then you're gonna watch like a 8 year old girl play Led Zeppelin on the drums. And then you're gonna watch a soldier return home to his family that didn't know he was coming home. And it's just like, ah, so much enjoyment. And dopamine.

[Tom Segura]

Like, why are you gonna watch a stunt with Ben Affleck and Matt Damon when you clearly can watch some overweight chick try to do a rope swing and eat.

[Judd Apatow]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

And it's so much funnier.

[Judd Apatow]

Exactly.

[Tom Segura]

And then you just go next. It's crazy. Three of those movies that I mentioned, I did not know a thing about them. As I walked into the movie theater.

[Judd Apatow]

Yeah. Because you would go see everything.

[Tom Segura]

Footloose. I walked in, Eric kn's mom dropped us off in a tan van. They had a tan van. And I remember she dropped us off and she said. And she said, what movie you guys seeing? And Eric said, footloose. And I said, what is it? And he goes, it's about a town of kids who can't dance. And I started laughing hysterically thinking, oh, this is going to be Good. Like, I didn't know. I didn't know nothing about it.

[Judd Apatow]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Karate Kid. I mean, I assumed it was about karate, but I was at tennis camp and these. It was my first day of tennis camp.

[Judd Apatow]

I went to tennis camp.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. Do you still play?

[Judd Apatow]

I do.

[Tom Segura]

Really?

[Judd Apatow]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Like, how? Good casual.

[Judd Apatow]

If I. If I warm back up. But, no, not, like, vicious.

[Tom Segura]

I gotta be. I gotta warm back up, too. Do you play with Steve Carell?

[Judd Apatow]

I haven't played with Steve Carell.

[Tom Segura]

I hear that he has, like, a great tennis game.

[Judd Apatow]

I bet he's been consistent.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Judd Apatow]

He looks like someone who practices.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Judd Apatow]

Right. Like, he's got a weekly game and he's kept it up.

[Tom Segura]

He strikes me as a guy that I'd have breakfast with him and he'd stare out of the side of his eye the entire time and try to figure me out.

[Judd Apatow]

No, he's not. That's. That's not what Steve is like.

[Tom Segura]

There's a lot. A lot of those. A lot of that side of comedy.

[Judd Apatow]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

I always feel like I rub wrong. Like, when I see your shows at Largo, I always go, like, I'd bother so many people in that green room.

[Judd Apatow]

I'd be like, I don't think that's true. There's a funny kind of, like, thought out there that. That is the case, but I don't.

[Tom Segura]

I definitely feel like I'd get talked to by the manager. They'd be like, I understand that you're a thing in other comedy scenes, but here we don't say that word. And I'd be like, oh, my bad.

[Judd Apatow]

But don't you feel like one of the things that's missing in comedy is, like, when I started doing standup, it was like, Kinison and Goldthwaite and Dice was around and, you know, and even, like, crazy people like Lenny Schultz, who used to just, like, throw food in his face. They were like characters.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Judd Apatow]

You know, people were, like, taking crazy chances. They were just, like, more insane people.

[Tom Segura]

There were more insane people.

[Judd Apatow]

They were, like, truly insane people. Like, where you're, like, scary people, where, like, the club, there really was danger.

[Tom Segura]

I think there's so much money in comedy right now that everyone's, like, trying to manipulate things. Yeah, I don't like that. I like. I like. I like the. I like go up there because you're broken. Yeah, I like that. I don't know something about that.

[Judd Apatow]

Like, one of the best sets I ever saw was Paul Rodriguez going up on stage, like, in 1990 and just looking miserable and was frustrated in his career and just complained for 20 minutes. In the most honest terms, it was one of the funniest 20 minutes I've ever seen. It was just like, you know, when you see someone, like one in the morning. Dangerfield used to do that, too. He'd get up on stage at like, one in the morning, wouldn't do the act and just be depressed. And the crowd would be shocked. Cause they'd think he's gonna do Dangerville. And he would just be like, oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, life makes perfect sense. And then you come, and then he looks at the lady in the crowd. He's like, oh, yeah, you'd be different. You'd love me for me. You'd just love me for me. And it was so funny, but so dark, but real and raw. Like, there used to be more of that. I mean, I think before the Internet and social media, people would let themselves kind of do things on stage because they didn't think anyone would talk about it anywhere. And that was different. That you could go into a club, do something really crazy, and there was no part of you that thought anyone would ever mention it to you for the rest of your life.

[Tom Segura]

Two questions. You have a show coming up in Atlanta on November 3rd?

[Judd Apatow]

I have one, yeah. Atlanta on the 3rd. I'm doing some hurricane benefits. I had some shows, so I just made them all hurricane benefits because it's so brutal. So the one in Atlanta, I think it's the Variety.

[Tom Segura]

November 3rd. The Variety Playhouse in Atlanta, Sunday, November 3rd. All proceeds are being donated to American Red Cross for hurricane relief. And then you're all. Are you doing. Or. The Beacon one? Is that a benefit, too?

[Judd Apatow]

That's the benefit for. So the one in Atlanta is for Georgia. The one at the Beacon theater on the 9th is for North Carolina. And then I'm going to be at Largo on October 15th for Florida.

[Tom Segura]

Okay. Nice. I'm doing a benefit November. I was supposed to do one Saturday for Tampa.

[Judd Apatow]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

But it got pushed, so I'm doing mine November 15th in. @ Ruth Eckerd hall in Clearwater. Now it's going to be two hurricanes, but.

[Judd Apatow]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

So it's crazy. It's. Does. I'm gonna ask you a weird question.

[Judd Apatow]

Okay.

[Tom Segura]

And we'll wrap this up. I know you got. You have a busy day.

[Judd Apatow]

I have nothing to do.

[Tom Segura]

Great.

[Judd Apatow]

You never wanted to be wrapped up less.

[Tom Segura]

I saw a interview with Bill Gates last night, and they asked him, should we have billionaires? And he said, absolutely. And Bernie Sanders says, absolutely not. And I wonder to you I don't know how much money you have, but I'm assuming it's a lot, right? You don't have fancy stuff like. That was one of Tom's questions. He was like, he was like, ask him what his favorite Rolex is. I was like, tom, I'm not going to ask him that.

[Judd Apatow]

He's like, I don't, I don't have a, I don't have an interest that costs money other than I might buy tickets to see something. Yeah, but I don't really, I don't like, like I, I bought a Porsche after the nose. At least I leased a Porsche after 4 year old virgin was a hit. And then it, it drove shitty. Unless you were going like 80.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Judd Apatow]

And it scared me. And I put it in the garage. I didn't drive it for two years till the lease was up for real. Because it just scared me. Like I, because I'd really forced me to go very fast. It was just not fun to be like 30 miles an hour, you know, around town. And I don't really drive long distances, so I'm mainly in just like traffic. With a stick.

[Tom Segura]

That was Tom's second question. Does he like driving a stick and a Porsche? Yeah, he was like, he was like, because Tom's obsessed with Porsches.

[Judd Apatow]

I mean, I mean, I understand why people like that stuff. I just, I never had that interest. But the idea that I could go, oh, if the Mets, you know, play the Dodgers, I could buy tickets last minute and get in. That's really the only thing.

[Tom Segura]

Car services, like, do you like Ubers?

[Judd Apatow]

Like, I won't get the cheap Uber. I'll get the nice Uber.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. Do you buy your own clothes?

[Judd Apatow]

Like, do I have people do it, I would imagine?

[Tom Segura]

No. I was assuming your wife.

[Judd Apatow]

No, she doesn't have that much interest. She'll consult. But, you know, I think I've worn the same James Purse shirt for about six years at this point.

[Tom Segura]

He makes great shirts.

[Judd Apatow]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

I mean, by the way, this is James Purse. And by the way, JP is a friend of mine. Yeah, I dm. My wife texts with him.

[Judd Apatow]

I mean, the amount of JP I'm wearing, the fact that I haven't gotten one free shirt out of him my entire life when I literally don't think I wear anything else. So, yeah, I don't like anything. Like, I don't want to know what time it is. I also don't like expensive things, like where you're like, oh, I shouldn't wear this because someone might murder me.

[Tom Segura]

That's a Problem in scary LA right now is that my favorite place to eat? They had a robbery. People were waiting for the car, and the guy pulled the gun. And I was like, what the fuck? I was like, so I gotta take jewelry off before I go to eat dinner now?

[Judd Apatow]

Do you have nice jewelry?

[Tom Segura]

I like. I like. I like watches, but I don't like every watch.

[Judd Apatow]

Does Tom like watches? He does. Is that his thing?

[Tom Segura]

Does the Pope up a dick?

[Judd Apatow]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Tom got me to watch this, and I just like getting into shit. Like, I love getting into shit. Like, I like. I just got into. It's when we talk about music. I just got into F1. I never given a fuck about F1. And then all of a sudden, here's the thing. It's like, if the majority of the world's right about something, you can't also be right by shitting on it.

[Judd Apatow]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

It's got to be good. And so I got into F1. Tom's always been in F1. I was like, well, I'm not going to be in. I don't really care. I don't watch NASCAR. I'm not going to get in F1. They've got that Drive to Survive thing on fucking Netflix. Have you seen it?

[Judd Apatow]

No.

[Tom Segura]

Judd. Judd. Here's what I'd like to say.

[Judd Apatow]

Judd, you're about to change my life.

[Tom Segura]

I'm about to change your life. Check out Drive to Survive. Okay, first of all, it's just like the quarterbacks. It's like the new one with the wide receivers. The track run. It's your. The live golf guys. You're following a group of guys who, by the way, are beyond passionate about anything. I think you will understand passion begets passion. And when you watch these guys talk about driving their life, they're guys that have been dedicated to driving their whole fucking lives. And there's the top of their fucking game. And you get to see a slice of what their real life's like, what the. What the teams are made up of. It is fucking amazing. Jud. Here's what I'll say to you, Judd. I want you to get into Drive. Survive. Just. Just try it out.

[Judd Apatow]

I'm gonna check back in with you and tell you.

[Tom Segura]

Nope. Nope.

[Judd Apatow]

How it works.

[Tom Segura]

And then me and you are going to Vegas.

[Judd Apatow]

So to watch F1.

[Tom Segura]

I will get us. I will buy us tickets. We will go to F1.

[Judd Apatow]

But wait, so you sit in one place and you just see him go by because, you know, I worked in Talladega Nights and we shot, you know, racists and stuff and that. But then I didn't ever really start following it afterwards, really. I'm trying to think, like, what? Like, I've warmed to soccer. Football.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Judd Apatow]

I don't know it well, but I've kind of watched some matches, and I did, like, the tennis. Netflix show.

[Tom Segura]

We've got a hookup at Netflix.

[Judd Apatow]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Why can't we, like, first of all, get. I want to get back in the track. I want to be with, like, I want to see all of it. I want to smell the cars. I want to smell the oil. I want to see people passionate. I want to see people's trailers, because their trailers are fucking sick. Jud we go to F1 in Vegas. When will you Google when F1 in Vegas is?

[Judd Apatow]

How many cars does Tom have? Is he building a Seinfeld Leno type car collection?

[Tom Segura]

When is. What date Is it the one in Vegas? Can you find out? Tom is. I don't. I think he would be mad if I told you what he's doing. Okay, so I'll tell you.

[Judd Apatow]

Okay.

[Tom Segura]

He has. He has dug out a basement for cars. He has the lifts put into his garage where he can put cars up on things.

[Judd Apatow]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

So I think he has nine cars. Yeah, he is. I think he does. And those are just ones he keeps in the garage. He has a couple more over at his office. Him and Rogan are really into cars. It's like, I guess you could shit on people into cars, but I'm into stuff. But it's not. It's not really cars.

[Judd Apatow]

Seinfeld laugh at how few cars he has.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, I'm certain he does. Seinfeld's, like, legit, like, almost autistic about cars. Right.

[Judd Apatow]

And then everyone's house sells one for so much money. Like, he has. He needs room. So he sells.

[Tom Segura]

Are you close to Seinfeld?

[Judd Apatow]

I know him, yes.

[Tom Segura]

I like. Like, do you text him?

[Judd Apatow]

It's. I could. I don't.

[Tom Segura]

You don't?

[Judd Apatow]

But I have. Who.

[Tom Segura]

Do you have the number? I'm trying to see if we get four tickets. I bring Tom, me, you, and then who else?

[Judd Apatow]

Jerry.

[Tom Segura]

We'll get Jerry and we go to The Grand Prix.

[Judd Apatow]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

45 days, 7 hours, 39 minutes until the 21st through 23rd. November. I think we're. I think. Judd, I hate to say this is Halloween.

[Judd Apatow]

I mean, it's a. It's Thanksgiving week.

[Tom Segura]

No, I think me and you are actually shooting that week.

[Judd Apatow]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Are you and Ted can get us tickets to this F1 thing?

[Judd Apatow]

I feel like Ted, Sarandos has access to tickets generally. I feel like when he go places.

[Tom Segura]

I'm going to hit him up.

[Judd Apatow]

You can go.

[Tom Segura]

Leanne is dying to know. I think I've done all Tom's questions. Your favorite Rolex, your favorite cars. Do you. Are you, are you excited for the new line in Gucci?

[Judd Apatow]

Yes.

[Tom Segura]

Okay.

[Judd Apatow]

I mean, do you guys buy that? You guys will go, you'll buy some Gucci.

[Tom Segura]

Tom is a hardcore Gucci fan. Like, that's all he wears is like the most ridiculous clothes.

[Judd Apatow]

I've never been able to have a style, like a fashion style. Like, would I be Euro trash? Would I be kind of country guy? Would I be, you know, modern indie guy?

[Tom Segura]

You're like, I can't deep into your style. You don't even know your style.

[Judd Apatow]

I like. I can't get a style.

[Tom Segura]

You are a Hollywood writer.

[Judd Apatow]

Yeah, but I like that people do like. I like that, you know, Tom's like, I'm gonna fucking be stylish right now. And you know, Jonah is very into like, kind of style and he loves fashion. But like, for me, I think I still feel like such like a 10 year old nerd that the idea of like dressing up feels very embarrassing to me.

[Tom Segura]

Well, it's. You're, in all honesty, you're putting on a costume.

[Judd Apatow]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Like, you're, you're deciding who people will see you as based on your exterior. And you're right. I. My daughters tell me I dress like a 12 year old.

[Judd Apatow]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

They're like, you wear oversized hats, you wear sneakers or flip flops, jeans, and a T shirt.

[Judd Apatow]

But do you have a. Your version of when you're getting dressed up? Nope.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. So you're like, I legit have to have a stylist pick clothes out for me because I cannot. Like, if I have to go to a premiere, I can't. I don't. I don't know what to wear.

[Judd Apatow]

Because even like Sandler, who has like a no style style. It is a style.

[Tom Segura]

It is a style.

[Judd Apatow]

And I don't. It evolved because it was always that, like, Sandler's gonna wear like a winter coat with shorts. And I don't think he thought anything of it. Just kind of comfortable. Never thought of it. And as the years have gone by, like, people have identified his choices to the point where I hear there's like a day at schools every year where everyone dresses like Sandler dresses in life.

[Tom Segura]

He dresses. He dresses like he's blind. The fact that Adam Sandler can wear red sweatpants with just like off the shelf Nikes, like the ridiculous ones that still have the pump in the front with a collared shirt and then a trench coat is like. It's so fucking next level fashionable that it's a flex. Because if anyone else tried to wear that, be like, you can't wear that in here. But then now.

[Judd Apatow]

But is it the question? And I know him really well.

[Tom Segura]

Pull up Adam Sandler.

[Judd Apatow]

Like, is it a flex? If you have put zero thought into it. He has to put a little on some level. Do you think in his mind it looks fantastic or he's just like this feels nice to wear these shorts.

[Tom Segura]

That's it. Red pants, red pants, yellow shirt. That's it. I saw him.

[Judd Apatow]

I have those. That's a guy. That's Adidas. I have those. They're very comfortable.

[Tom Segura]

They're fucking so comfortable.

[Judd Apatow]

Cleaning golf shirts. I bought these golf shirts too. They're like, these golf shirts are made out of some sort of chemical or plastic that you can just sweat in.

[Tom Segura]

And they're comfortable.

[Judd Apatow]

It's a very specific, I think people our age type of golf shirt, which I found myself when I was shooting a movie in North Carolina. It was 100 every day. It was the only thing I wouldn't sweat through was this kind of shirt.

[Tom Segura]

But this is like, I wouldn't wear that on a plane. Like, no offense to him, but like, I would never, I would never think to put that on unless I was doing laundry.

[Judd Apatow]

So he's alpha dogging by wearing that.

[Tom Segura]

It's a fucking. Like anyone else goes to do. What is he doing, Kimmel or Fallon?

[Judd Apatow]

The only reason why I don't think it's a flex, I guess is because like when we were like in our early 20s and lived together, that's how he dressed. But I guess at some point people start really begging you to dress up because you're going to go to like beyond Letterman. That the moment you refuse to put on the suit, is that the flex moment.

[Tom Segura]

That's the flex. That's where we all want to be. You know, I said, when I here's my fashion.

[Judd Apatow]

That's as fashionable as I get.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, you got a Pearl Jam shirt on with Eddie Vedder.

[Judd Apatow]

That's such a kiss ass move. That is so like a pearl tip.

[Tom Segura]

Shirt on with Eddie Vedder.

[Judd Apatow]

It's like, hey, I have this shirt from your concert. I kept it.

[Tom Segura]

But look at Adam Sandler's outfits.

[Judd Apatow]

They are. But that's 1989. Basically. The on the right there, that's the 89 Sandler.

[Tom Segura]

And you can't really, like, slam them for what they like. Like, I remember I was doing a thing. Look. Look at his wife and his daughters are all dressed up, and then he's. He doesn't look bad.

[Judd Apatow]

You know, you have to respect the commitment to casual. Casual and to be happy. You know, when I look at that, I just think it makes him happy to feel that way. And this is who I am. And it's. You know, there's nothing in this business that encourages that in any way.

[Tom Segura]

When I was doing press for the machine, I was like, I don't. To wear a shirt. I don't want to wear a shirt because I couldn't fit in shirts. I was really fat at the time, but I was like. And I just. And like, they weren't. I just felt uncomfortable in a shirt. And I was doing, like. I was doing some show, and the guy was like, just so you know, you can def. You're definitely at a place where you can not wear a shirt.

[Judd Apatow]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Like, you're. When you're known for that. So, like, if you want to wear it opened, no one's going to have a problem with that. And so I started wearing shirts opened, and I was like, wow, I feel good. And then I started realizing my style really is black dude. Like, my style is what year? Probably this year. Like, anything black dudes wear right now, I love, like, a little. Like a little bit of. Little bit of flair. Like, if you go to those. Do, you know, like, the shops that sell black dude clothes where it's like suits and hats and.

[Judd Apatow]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

And then they'll have their shirts where it's like a bedazzled giraffe. That. That's what the clothes.

[Judd Apatow]

That's what you should wear.

[Tom Segura]

That's what I'm most comfortable in.

[Judd Apatow]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Like, I like those clothes.

[Judd Apatow]

Could I pull it off?

[Tom Segura]

No.

[Judd Apatow]

See, I need to find a type of.

[Tom Segura]

No, but your style's. Your style. Your style is Hollywood writer. If you put on a hoodie and some New balance.

[Judd Apatow]

I'm like 1993 Simpsons writer.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, exactly. You're 1993 Simpsons writer.

[Judd Apatow]

It's John Vitti. I'm John Vitti or John Schwartzwelder in human form. But you guys are in shape now. Like, you and Tom. You decided to exercise. You decided to get in shape. And see, I haven't taken the leap that you guys have taken. You guys work out. I hate working out. So it's always a struggle, really. The second I walk in, I'm like, I hate this. I hate all these People. I hate the people that work out. The people who try to train me. I wanna punch them the second they start talking to me. Like, the chatter with the trainer is like, I can't handle, like, the small talk. Or if they count. I hate when they, like, start counting. Five, four, three. I'm like, I can count myself. Cause they're so bored. And all I think is how fucking bored they are at watching me. Oh, like, just a guy watching me, like, do squats. Makes me uncomfortable. Like, everything about it I have so much trouble with. So I. Right before COVID I'm like, I'm going to join the most expensive gym on earth. So I feel guilty if I don't go. And it was like, this place, and they had Cairo and massages, and it was just so expensive. And I go, no matter what, I'm going three days a week. And then I did it for, like, a year. I go, I have to find a way to not hate this. Can I do it so much? And I slowly stopped hating it. And I was, like, almost looking forward to it.

[Tom Segura]

And then Covid hit, and then Covid.

[Judd Apatow]

Hit, and the place went out of business, and I have not been back. Now I only work out if I have a massive injury and need physical therapy.

[Tom Segura]

So, wait, does your wife. I'm assuming your wife works out?

[Judd Apatow]

She does, yes.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. How did you get her? She's beautiful.

[Judd Apatow]

Prayer.

[Tom Segura]

She's beautiful. And, like, you may, like, you guys are like, it's a. It's an interesting couple, but she's like. It's like chicks like that. Like Leanne. Yeah, Chicks like that, where they're. Where the woman is so much prettier.

[Judd Apatow]

Than the man, you know, just better in every way.

[Tom Segura]

What's that?

[Judd Apatow]

Or just better in every way?

[Tom Segura]

Every way. You're like. You're like, oh, they must have. There's something real about them where people.

[Judd Apatow]

Don'T think it makes sense. Like, they. They wonder what's wrong, that it happened.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. Like, it's every chick that dated Pete Davidson. You're like. You're like, oh. Because I know Pete's a sweet guy.

[Judd Apatow]

Yeah. And I go, he's very charming, Pete.

[Tom Segura]

He's cool. And he's also very charming, by the way. Same style as Adam Sandler, but he is stylish.

[Judd Apatow]

Like, Pete is trying to do the stylish. Pete is trying to do the Sandler 2.0 with style. That's how we might. That. That's how we might define it. But do you like working out? I love it, like, so you, you.

[Tom Segura]

You get like endorphins and I get hardcore endorphins after. If I don't work out, I have depression all day.

[Judd Apatow]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

So if I, if I, I have to work out every day, I can take days off. Like if I'm flying, I can take a day off. I try to work. I do a workout in the morning. If.

[Judd Apatow]

How long is it?

[Tom Segura]

An hour every day an hour. I do four, I do. And then sometimes I work out twice a day. Like today I'll work out twice, I'll go back and I'll jog. But I think I'm just conditioned for that. I think I enjoy it and it really, it lets my brain, it kind of unclogs my brain a little bit. But you guys kind of find like.

[Judd Apatow]

Really, I just have a panic attack the second I get on the treadmill. I'm like, fucking 19 more minutes of this shit. Fucking 18 more minutes of this shit.

[Tom Segura]

What do you gotta do is I used to get on the treadmill with a box of wine and watch guys grocery games or dinos drive ins and.

[Judd Apatow]

Dives and drink wine on the treadmill.

[Tom Segura]

Drink wine. I drink a box of wine and walk. And I'd just be like, I'd have fun or I'd. I love the idea. There's, there's this great not. They're a podcast sponsor and I'm not plugging them because they're a sponsor. There's this great thing called Tonal which you put on the wall.

[Judd Apatow]

Oh yeah. I just looked at it the other day.

[Tom Segura]

It's. I got to tell you why it's great is that you're doing it with a person. It is very guided. They don't let you cheat. So like once you do your strength part of it.

[Judd Apatow]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Then everything's set in, dialed in for you and you can take that off. If you stay still, you can take that off. But the other thing that's great about it is you can find like a, like if you're just like, I don't really have the time today, but I got 12 minutes. Yeah, you can find a 12 minute workout in there. You can find a 10 minute workout. Or if you get like ballsy, you're like, I can do a workout. And then later in the night, you know what? I'm going to bang out arms real quick. That'll be fun. I'm going to have a. I know we're going out to dinner. She's getting dry. I'm gonna go bang out arms.

[Judd Apatow]

Tonal really works if I agreed to do toner tonal. Tonal?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Judd Apatow]

If I agree to do tonal and do like a before and after, where before I'm like hairy and fat, and then after I'm like, there's not a hair on my body. I'm like ripped. Like when you see those like 70 year old guys or they're like ripped stomachs.

[Tom Segura]

I follow him on Instagram.

[Judd Apatow]

Do you think they'll send me a free one?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, I promise.

[Judd Apatow]

Right now, by the way, like Oprah. Like Oprah with Weight Watchers. I promise to get ripped.

[Tom Segura]

I'm 100% certain that tonal's listening to this, going, we would love to. And, and by the way, I haven't even. The best one's a spray tan. Just get a spray tan and you'll feel so fucking sexy. Yeah, I get, I get spray tans all the time. I love them. Because you feel so hot. You feel so fucking sexy.

[Judd Apatow]

Well, the thing is, I have to get lasered. Like last summer, I knew I was going to be like, on a beach, a lot of like, God, I'm so hairy and my back is so hairy. I gotta, I gotta fucking laser this shit off. I mean, I've never done it, but like, some hairs are like 11 inches at this point. Like where you pull one and you can't believe how far out it's like, I'm gonna get rid of. I'm gonna just laser it. So the lady's like, okay, well, you gotta get, you gotta shave. You gotta like shave your whole body, like tight shave to do the lasers for real, you know, which, you know, I have to like, get help. And shaving me is like, shaving.

[Tom Segura]

Like, wait, how hairy are you? Pull up. Judd Apatow shirtless.

[Judd Apatow]

Yeah, it's not up there. You know how hairy I am? That like, you ever see like in a sitcom if somebody was hairy on the beach? Like, that's the punchline. In like a sitcom or a movie. I'm always hairier than that guy. Like the hairy guy on the beach. So you won't find it.

[Tom Segura]

You won't find it.

[Judd Apatow]

I will not allow it. Oh, there it is. That's maybe the only time on the top left there where I did a photo shoot during 4 year old virgin where they wanted to shave a V into my chest. And I didn't realize that I was allowed to say no. You know, like, you're young and you're like, okay, I guess. And then I had a V for like two years waiting for it to grow back out.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, because all the other hairs are so much longer than your whole lifetime.

[Judd Apatow]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

You'd have to trim it all down to get it back to that level. So did the laser work?

[Judd Apatow]

What happened? So the first time I was shaved, so I had to have a family member shave me. It was like, you ever see, like, a dirty sheep that has, like, five feet of filthy matted hair? And then they just buzz it off, and then it looks like a tiny cat when they finally get it? That's what happened. And then. So they lasered me. And then I'd have to keep getting shaved. Lasered. They're like, it takes, like, 12 times. After three, like, it's not working at all. And then she's like, well, we could go back to the older laser because we've been using this new kind of laser. She starts doing it. It hurts. Like, it's one flow of the cuckoo's nest. It's, like, for real so much. And I try to let her do it. Try to let her do it. And then I'm like, I can't do it. It just hurts too much. It's like, you're torturing me. And then now I have stripes, like, so that, like, that is the one area that worked is I have, like, a stripe, like a racing stripe, because. And now I won't go back because it hurts too much. Like, now even the rest of it out.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, I would love to get my back, like, laser. Oh, man, I got. I've gotten hairier since I used testosterone.

[Judd Apatow]

Yeah, it's gotten. It's gotten aggressive because I realized that, like, my Instagram ads kept, like, pushing back hair shavers on me just because I talk about it so much.

[Tom Segura]

My Instagram. My Instagram, all it sends me is people celebrating sobriety, really, Because I'm doing sober October. So I talk about being.

[Judd Apatow]

So it is listening.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, it's 100%.

[Judd Apatow]

And do we know this? But, like, it's formally like that. Like, Instagram has admitted. We listen, and if you say something, we know it, and we send an ad. Like, is that, like, a confirmed technology at this point?

[Tom Segura]

100%. There's no way that my algorithm, it never shows sobriety stuff, ever. It's always people partying, people shotgunning beers. And then every October, it is. It is sober. This sober life sober. And suggestions. And I'm always like, what the fuck?

[Judd Apatow]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

And I. And I was sad is I kind of enjoy them because it's nice to see someone get their life in track, but it's, like, also going, like, Yo. Yeah, like, what are you saying to me? Like, I got my shit together.

[Judd Apatow]

Yeah, like, what the fuck?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, like, it's. It's totally listening.

[Judd Apatow]

Yeah. That's so weird, though, isn't it?

[Tom Segura]

I think I would really like to get my back shaved or just lasered. I want my back lasered or waxed. I think I'll get my back lasered. Well, we're about to find out.

[Judd Apatow]

See, have you ever done that full test? I used to try to change it. I used to do a joke where I said about trying to change my Amazon recommendations, because everything on Amazon, you buy one book about how to get your dick hard every day, he's like, how's your dick doing? And so, like, I want to change the algorithm because I fucked up the algorithm. So then I just bought, like, every single Kathy Griffin album just to see if I could switch the algorithm. And then, you know.

[Tom Segura]

But I just saw her in the. In the Menendez brother document.

[Judd Apatow]

Was she in it? Oh, because they used a clip of her talking about it back then from.

[Tom Segura]

Making fun of the Menendez brothers in 19.

[Judd Apatow]

Like, 92.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. And then. And now you realize that the Tiktoks changed the Menendez story because TikTok's very. Trauma positive is the right way to say it. You know, like, they're. And so they're a little more empathetic than maybe the justice system was in the 90s. They're definitely more empathetic than men were in the 90s. So apparently the men on that first trial railroaded these boys. And they're like, no, they're fucking 18. Who molests an 18 year old? Who rapes an 18 year old boy?

[Judd Apatow]

I remember watching it at home, and, you know, I was very young, so maybe I was 20 or 21. But thinking, I don't know how you could act this well and improvise these answers like this. Oh, and I guess now that I'm older, I do realize that that happens. But as a young person watching every minute of it, you know, for weeks, I just thought, who could make up the specificity of this and be so in the moment that if it was not true, it is one of the most incredible acting performances of all time.

[Tom Segura]

Without a doubt. And Lyle Menendez, his testimony is like. And they just came out. Netflix just came out with a documentary about it, which is fucking crazy. And then you see what a fucking unhinged lunatic the prosecutor from the first trial was. Yeah, she literally, at one point in this documentary, it's like these TikTok kids Think they know the justice system. And guess what? Come after me. I got fucking guns in my house. And you're like, okay. You're like, jesus Christ.

[Judd Apatow]

Well, I guess probably now the whole world goes after her.

[Tom Segura]

Has to, right?

[Judd Apatow]

Or at least the people who believe. And I guess that's scary for all those people in all those jobs. Like, it used to be, you know, you would just do your job. And now, like, even normal people have to do. Deal with, like, millions of people who are all worked up.

[Tom Segura]

I mean, look at the. I mean, not to like, casually, but, like, look at the hot to a girl just casually says one thing one night drunk, and then her life changes entirely, and she's got to put up with all the. All the love, right? And all the fun. But then all these haters that are like, like, you're nothing. You're nobody. What?

[Judd Apatow]

You know, where do you stand on the. On that? I love her. I mean, I thought about it when she was on Bill Maher. I was like, what do I make of this? Right? And I thought, okay, so the culture embraces people instantly, right? So things just explode instantly. Like a girl. Like, I tried to, like, even as like, a parent and someone who makes things. And in a weird way, my work competes with a Huck 2 girls. Right? Like, in a weird way.

[Tom Segura]

That is the profound statement.

[Judd Apatow]

Yeah. So part of you can be like an old man. Like, I don't like this news. New things. But then I thought about it. I'm like, well, what is wrong about a joke about sex where, like, a young girl just cracking up who isn't, like, in her head, isn't all conservative and concerned? Like, is that wrong to just be loose and happy and, you know, not weird about your body and what we all do? And then I just was like, gave myself over to it. Like, well, maybe it's. I mean, we'll see what else a person like that can do. Like, do they have anything to say? But is it so terrible that we all decide that something is kind of a riot?

[Tom Segura]

Oh, it's wild. Because I think it's cool. Here's what's crazy. It's like I watch people go on Kill Tony. Kill Tony is by far, easily the biggest, biggest comedy event in comedy for a very long time. It's really blowing kids up. But I look at those kids that have been doing it just once, they did stand up once, and they explode. And people recognize them and they get. They get the hot to a treatment. And I want to say to them, just pull back a little Bit and really develop the craft and give yourself 10 years to fail. The hock to a girl is different. It is someone who never cared about this business. I just like that girl and I identify with her because I was. I do. Because, you know, when I was in college, I got written up in Rolling Stone as the number one party animal and I. My life changed and so I.

[Judd Apatow]

You had more than one funny line, though.

[Tom Segura]

Nope.

[Judd Apatow]

I shit.

[Tom Segura]

I shit on a pizza box to win election. That's. I didn't. I had never done standup. I just. I tried stand up. I tried stand up after the article came out and I liked it and I was like, I moved to New York and I thought it would just happen for me. And it didn't. It didn't. Took me. God fucking took me almost six months.

[Judd Apatow]

Well, it's also, well, it's almost like, what is she willing to put into it to actually have something to offer? Like, you get an opportunity, but like, do you have any vision for yourself?

[Tom Segura]

I think that's the beauty of her is it's like, literally, it's like a Viking funeral. You're just sending her out to sea, going, does it light on fire?

[Judd Apatow]

For me, I like to go deep, you know, like, I mentored understanding and it was always like, how deep can you go? How much can you reveal? You know, so it's more. It's a long form thing. At the same time, like, I can like appreciate a six second thing. Like, I used to do a joke on stage about, you know, to my kids, you know, like fainting goats video is the same as knocked up. And the truth is like, it, it may be better, you know, like, there's an argument that some of it is more innocent and it's better. But like, I've been built like, no, we're trying to like, touch you in your heart and be deep and. But you're. You are in a world where that stuff, like, if you just go, I want to go home and just watch serial killer interrogations for the next eight hours. My kids are like, got into watching interrogations, you know, for a little while, like years ago.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, they're like fascinating daughter Isla is obsessed with that and she wants to get into solving serial. She goes, I think I want to be like, like someone who solves murders. And I was like, maybe just because the podcasts are interesting doesn't mean that life is one you want to live.

[Judd Apatow]

Yeah, it could be hard. I mean, because when I was a kid, if I was interested in something because I was like, A nerdy kid. So I had all the Hollywood magazines and stuff, but, like, when I wanted to know more about Jimi Hendrix dying, I remember just going to the library, getting out the microfiche of, like.

[Tom Segura]

Of, like, his.

[Judd Apatow]

Of his, like, obituary.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Judd Apatow]

And, like, reading his obituary, then hunting down Lenny Bruce's obituary, and then trying to find every article ever in the New York Times about Lenny Bruce. So if when I was, like, 14, YouTube and all this stuff existed, I don't think I would ever left the house. I would have been so fascinated by the information and the entertainment of it.

[Tom Segura]

Yes.

[Judd Apatow]

Because I was trying to create it myself. Like, when I was a kid and I would interview comedians, when I was, like, 16, I went and interviewed Steve Allen and John Candy and Howard Stern. It's like I was hungering for the content that didn't exist.

[Tom Segura]

Do you still have those interviews?

[Judd Apatow]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Are they up?

[Judd Apatow]

No, no. I should put some of them. Some of them up. They're embarrassing because my voice is so high and has such a New York accent.

[Tom Segura]

Really?

[Judd Apatow]

So it's literally like me with Howard Stern going, like, how'd you first get into radio? Like, it's just. It's. I sound like Eric the actor. But, yeah, I should put some of them.

[Tom Segura]

I would love to hear those interviews. I want to talk. I want to. Hang on. Got to talk to you about Garry Shandling.

[Judd Apatow]

Let me tell you one Garry Shandling adjacent story is Gary Shandling was really good friends with Warren Beatty and had been in a bunch of his movies. So I was around him a couple of times. I just remember him saying, it's over. Movies are over. He's like, all this reality stuff, and this is before, like, TikTok. This is just like, reality television, like, the Simple Life, things like that. He's like. It's kind of more interesting, like, looking at real people. He's like, I don't know how you ultimately compete against it. And it blew my mind. Right. And he was fascinated by it. Like, this is really gonna change everything for what we do.

[Tom Segura]

That's wild. Do you ever see the movie. What was American Made? What was it? Type in American Made. Do you ever see that movie American Made? It was a documentary.

[Judd Apatow]

Oh, about the plan?

[Tom Segura]

No, the filmmakers.

[Judd Apatow]

Oh, American Movie.

[Tom Segura]

American Movie.

[Judd Apatow]

Incredible.

[Tom Segura]

And Chris Smith. I remember what. Who did.

[Judd Apatow]

Chris Smith directed it.

[Tom Segura]

This might be one of the most fascinating. I gave Louie Anderson.

[Judd Apatow]

Mark Burchard.

[Tom Segura]

Is that his name? Mark Burchard.

[Judd Apatow]

And what was the other guy's name? His friend on the right. Mike.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. I did I did. I gave two movies to Louie Anderson before he died.

[Judd Apatow]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

This one and made by Jon Favreau's great movie made. It was fucking amazing with Vince Vaughn and Diddy, and I didn't know how to get them back from his estate.

[Judd Apatow]

Mm.

[Tom Segura]

It's like, hey, does he. I know he's dead.

[Judd Apatow]

You can't get things back from an estate.

[Tom Segura]

I was like, I know, but can I just go through and get my movies real quick? But what was. Gary Shandling is one of my favorite in the world. I loved Gary Shandling.

[Judd Apatow]

Did you meet Gary ever?

[Tom Segura]

No. I'm glad I didn't. There's a lot of people I'm glad I didn't meet.

[Judd Apatow]

Well, Gary, like, some people would meet him, he'd be the nicest guy ever, and other times he would just be in a weird mood, and they would feel very, like, iced by him just because he might just be strange and in his head, like, I don't think he meant to ever do that, because then other people, he'd be like this riot to. To hang out with in the moment.

[Tom Segura]

Was he. Because he seemed like the guy that was like, Norm MacDonald, I always felt was always on. Was Gary that way?

[Judd Apatow]

No, not at all.

[Tom Segura]

Really?

[Judd Apatow]

No, not at all. Because he was a real observer of people, and he was fascinated by what your thing was. But when he wanted to be on, when he went into the mode, just so crazy funny. Gary and Saget hanging out, doing filthy jokes back and forth. Like, nothing funnier than that. Like, when Gary was in the mood to do that. But, you know, he was a real artist. So, I mean, a lot of the time when I was around him, he was deadly serious. Like, you know, we're writing the Emmy Awards, and he really wants it to be good. And he's going to grind so hard, really, to get it right. Like, in a way that's like, he's making Oppenheimer.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Judd Apatow]

Like, the level of care that he's putting into it and how much pressure he's putting on himself is just so massive and insane because, like, when he hosted the Emmys, he didn't want to just host the Emmys. He wanted to reinvent the entire show.

[Tom Segura]

Garry Shandling's career was like. I remember watching him as a kid in the 80s on Carson, and then all the way to, like, the Garry Shandling show was.

[Judd Apatow]

Yeah, that changed everything. I mean, Conan. Was it Conan or. It was. You know, some of the Simpsons writers said they saw that show and said, oh, you can do this. Like, I didn't realize how much different television could be than what it is.

[Tom Segura]

That was everyone's pitch was it's like the Garry Shandling show. But it was crazy because things would get hot and you would watch people go, it is like the Garry Shanley. And they are like, well, they already did that. And you are like, yeah, but it still fucking worked really well.

[Judd Apatow]

Yeah. And he would do shows. That was a musical. I remember there was an episode of It's Gary Shandling show where he had to leave town. And so then they still did the show, but they were all replaced by like red buttons and old time comics. And the whole episode was just a different cast with all old time comedians.

[Tom Segura]

I'm bummed that the Friars Club doesn't exist anymore.

[Judd Apatow]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Because that was like the only thing when I first started. It was like, that seemed like the coolest thing in the world. Who would we have, though, if we started restarting the Far Club? I think I'm the old guy now.

[Judd Apatow]

I think also, like, the world was different, that everyone was kind of didn't travel as much. And, you know, they were all willing to ignore their kids, you know, so, like, these guys all hang out in a club and drink and get a shake.

[Tom Segura]

Cardiologist.

[Judd Apatow]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Brooks is still alive.

[Judd Apatow]

Yeah, I'm doing a documentary on him right now.

[Tom Segura]

Really?

[Judd Apatow]

Yeah, he's 98.

[Tom Segura]

He's 98. What do you. What's the documentary?

[Judd Apatow]

It's just like a two part HBO.

[Tom Segura]

Deep dive, taking them out and filling up with his bucket list of things. Skydiving, horseback riding.

[Judd Apatow]

Because I just did like 10 hours at his house with him.

[Tom Segura]

For real.

[Judd Apatow]

And so funny. Just like, so funny. Like, couldn't be sharper. I said, mel, you're always at these memorials, giving speeches about, you know, all your friends who died. You're so good at it. I'm like, do me, I'm dead. What do you. What do you say? And then he went into like a five minute memorial speech of me.

[Tom Segura]

Really?

[Judd Apatow]

He's like, you know, Judd was fine. He was okay. He did what he did. I mean, like, as funny as ever.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Judd Apatow]

You know, when he wants to be.

[Tom Segura]

God, I never fucking realized. I guess I'm the old guy in comedy now. Like, I'm the. I'm the fucking Mel Brooks of our generation.

[Judd Apatow]

There's people older than you.

[Tom Segura]

There has to be. Right?

[Judd Apatow]

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Jeff Ross was.

[Judd Apatow]

You're younger than me.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. But only by like two years.

[Judd Apatow]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

This is comedians more in my life, Judd.

[Judd Apatow]

There's comedians in their 60s out there. And. And 70s. I mean, it's pretty amazing. Like, the people that are still out there. Gilbert's gone.

[Tom Segura]

Wait, who is older than me? As comics, that's still.

[Judd Apatow]

That's still working, still touring. The generation of, like, Seinfeld and New York, they're all. They're all still working. And George Wallace is amazingly funny. And there's, you know, there's a lot of people, like, late 60s, early 70s.

[Tom Segura]

Seinfeld's older than me. What the fuck am I talking.

[Judd Apatow]

Yeah. So you don't. You don't gotta worry about.

[Tom Segura]

That's my. I'm trying to kill my ego.

[Judd Apatow]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Is. I just see myself. That's all I see is me.

[Judd Apatow]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

And. And what are you gonna do about that, Judd? This is the biggest conversation.

[Judd Apatow]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

I don't know if you know this, but when your kids leave, you spend a lot of time with one person.

[Judd Apatow]

Yeah. And she tells you what's wrong with you?

[Tom Segura]

Oh, we sat in bed crisscross applesauce yesterday. And was like, I have. The fact that I have. That I'm. I'm noticing it as good, apparently. But the. But I just. I have plans on becoming more empathetic, more grounded.

[Judd Apatow]

How famous are you out in the world, Judd?

[Tom Segura]

I wish I was. I wish I wasn't the one answering this.

[Judd Apatow]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Because. I don't know.

[Judd Apatow]

But, like, how much are people walking up to you out in the world?

[Tom Segura]

I walked to work today.

[Judd Apatow]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

And three cars honked at me. And everyone I walked past knew who I was. I'm pretty. I. Like, right now, I'm probably. It's interesting. I think I'm. I know I'm more famous than Tom. Like, way more famous than Tom. That's clear because. Because we went to. And it also could have been where we were.

[Judd Apatow]

But Tom has two different looks.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. He has fat Tom.

[Judd Apatow]

If you combined both looks, he's probably more famous.

[Tom Segura]

I think he just looks like me. We. I'm so famous. We were.

[Judd Apatow]

Are you guys meaning to look the same?

[Tom Segura]

I think we were in an elevator one time. And Tom never gets recognized, ever. I mean, when I. Especially when I'm with him. And this dude was like, holy. And goes right up to Tom. He's like, dude, you're my guy. I love you. And Tom's like, thank you. And he's like, the machine. And Tom's like, even now. But it's like, we went to nascar, and I got recognized so much. He goes. He was like, I'm. He's like, this is wild.

[Judd Apatow]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Like, I Do get recognized a lot. But also, I have to be fair, I'm very loud, and my voice is distinct, and I don't. And I like. I am the person in Target that will go. Leanne. Like, I'm a loud person, and I just. I cast a large wake.

[Judd Apatow]

And you want it on some level.

[Tom Segura]

I don't not want it.

[Judd Apatow]

But some people just have a look. Like, I was with Jim Carrey in the mall in New Jersey once during In Living Color, and we were at a bookstore, and, like, someone recognized him, and then someone else recognized him, and then slowly, we felt the entire mall running towards the bookstore.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Judd Apatow]

This is before the thing took off and. Cause he's tall and he's gym. And there were certain people I know. When Jonah got famous with Superbad, he said literally the next day, because he's also. You just notice him. And there's some people I know, like, they never, ever get recognized.

[Tom Segura]

I get recognized. I get recognized every day. And by the way, I can pick. I can almost tell you where I'll get recognized. Like, if I go to a dispensary. Hardcore. If I go to. If I go to any liquor store, like, definitely. Yeah. There's like. Like, I. If I. Anytime I go through security at the airport, I'm almost like. Especially if I weed on me, I'll make eye contact with the dude.

[Judd Apatow]

But you like it. Yeah, I like that there's anything wrong with, like, liking it. I mean, you know, Sandler gets recognized more than anyone I've ever met.

[Tom Segura]

He's.

[Judd Apatow]

Yeah. It's like the president is coming to. And also everyone. And I'm sure it's the same with you. Thinks it's okay to walk up like, he's had him. Yeah. He has no energy of. You're not allowed to say hi. And he's old school. He's like, you know, you pay the bills. You made this happen.

[Tom Segura]

If you see a celebrity, the best thing to do is be like, go, Judd. Fucking love you, dude. That's it. That's it. And that is not one celebrity will dis. Well, not like that. Just the second you go, this is the thing that I know turns Tommy off. I don't want to be that guy.

[Judd Apatow]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

And Tom. I hear him say it. Then don't. Then don't.

[Judd Apatow]

I usually have people who, like, don't think I'm worth stopping for but will say something nice on the. Without stopping, I get a lot of like. Like your shit.

[Tom Segura]

Yep, that's it. And I'm like, that's all you want. That's all you want is just, dude, you're the man. And, Judd, you are the man. Thank you for doing this. I've had you now for fucking so much longer than I know you thought committed to, but you're the fucking man, and I appreciate it. I have to say this, and I have to say this. For everything you've made, everything you've ever been a part of, everything you've touched has brought me so much joy. And all I can say is just thank you. You're a fucking awesome dude.

[Judd Apatow]

Thank you, Barrett. Appreciate it. Happy to be here.

[Tom Segura]

And like I said, Everyone. November 3rd. All proceeds are donated to the American red Cross for hurricane relief at the Variety playhouse in Atlanta on Sunday. Beacon Theater as part of the New York Comedy Festival, Saturday, November 9th. Go check them out. Is it just you? You bring other people?

[Judd Apatow]

Surprise guest Jeff Foxworthy is going to be in Atlanta with me.

[Tom Segura]

No Ricky Velez fucking way.

[Judd Apatow]

And I have some cool guests at the Beacon in New York. And then I'm going to be at Largo next week on the 15th for Florida hurricane.

[Tom Segura]

Nice. Thank you, Judd.

[Judd Apatow]

Thank you.

[Tom Segura]

Bert and Tom. Tom and Burt. One goes topless while the other wears a shirt. Tom tells stories and Berts the machine. There's not a chance in hell that they'll keep it clean. Here's what we call two bears.

[Judd Apatow]

One cave.