Trippin' Balls On A Plane w/ Russell Peters | 2 Bears, 1 Cave - 2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

Summary5 min read

Summary of "Trippin' Balls On A Plane w/ Russell Peters" | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

Release Date: November 4, 2024

In this engaging episode of "2 Bears, 1 Cave," hosted by Tom Segura and produced by YMH Studios, the dynamic duo welcomes special guest Russell Peters to fill in for co-host Bert Kreischer, who is currently undergoing treatment for a nerve issue. The episode delves deep into the world of comedy, touring experiences, cultural encounters, and personal anecdotes, offering listeners a rich tapestry of humor and insight.

1. Guest Introduction and Current Circumstances

The episode opens with Tom Segura announcing his upcoming tour dates across various cities, setting the stage for a conversation marked by camaraderie and laughter. He then introduces Russell Peters as his stand-in co-host, addressing the audience's curiosity about Russell's appearance.

Quote:

[00:52] Russell Peters: "Hey, I'm sure the people watching is going, who or why the fuck him?"

Tom Segura: "No, you're talk. You're beloved, man."

This exchange lightens the mood and establishes Russell's role in the episode.

2. Comedy Careers and Public Perception

Tom and Russell discuss the dichotomy of public perception in the comedy industry, exploring how being beloved can sometimes coexist with a mixed reception from the broader audience.

Quote:

[01:00] Russell Peters: "You are beloved in the... Com by comics."

[01:04] Russell Peters: "No, you don't think real people love you some. I think it's 50, 50. I think it's split pretty decently."

Russell reflects on the notion that achieving a balance between love and hate can be indicative of a comedian's success and relevance in the industry.

3. Connection to Hip Hop Culture and Eminem

The conversation shifts to the influence of hip hop culture, particularly focusing on Eminem. Tom expresses his evolving appreciation for Eminem, highlighting the rapper's impact beyond music.

Quote:

[02:05] Russell Peters: "Do you know the ironic part is I don't really listen to it."

[03:27] Russell Peters: "I think Eminem's dope. I mean, does he... Does he make some flop albums? Sure, but who doesn't?"

Russell praises Eminem's artistry and acknowledges that despite occasional missteps, Eminem remains a formidable force in hip hop, serving as an inspiration for many artists, including himself and Tom.

4. Touring Experiences and Venue Challenges

Tom and Russell share tales from their extensive touring histories, discussing the complexities of booking large venues and the challenges posed by high-profile artists occupying these spaces.

Quote:

[07:37] Tom Segura: "I was like, tell me. And then they told me, and I was like, no, that's not enough."

[08:00] Russell Peters: "I'd lose it to Iron Maiden."

Tom recounts a surreal experience where he had to negotiate venue dates only to be upstaged by legendary bands like Iron Maiden, highlighting the unpredictable nature of the live entertainment industry.

5. Cultural Experiences During Tours

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to the unique cultural encounters Tom and Russell have had while touring globally. They reminisce about meeting iconic figures and navigating diverse cultural landscapes.

Quote:

[05:43] Tom Segura: "I still remember the message. And then you were like, yeah, you should come over. And I just was like, I have to go do this."

[19:22] Russell Peters: "I was pretty sure I bombed any. When there's music, I always feel like this is..."

These anecdotes include humorous and sometimes insightful interactions with celebrities like Big Daddy Kane and Prince Charles, illustrating the blend of humor and awkwardness that often accompanies such meetings.

6. Adaptation to Different Cultures

Russell shares his experiences performing in various countries, emphasizing the importance of understanding and respecting local cultures to connect effectively with international audiences.

Quote:

[28:14] Russell Peters: "I love Lebanon. I love Beirut. It's amazing, really."

[46:14] Russell Peters: "Well, I do like Lebanon too. It's amazing..."

The discussion highlights the challenges of delivering culturally relevant humor and the rewarding moments of bridging cultural gaps through comedy.

7. Personal Lives and Family Dynamics

Tom and Russell dive into their personal lives, discussing their children, family relationships, and the balancing act between professional commitments and family responsibilities.

Quote:

[35:04] Tom Segura: "He goes, I love you too. And he was like, so can I get some more roblox for my robux?"

[34:44] Russell Peters: "My kid's 5, my son, and he's the other. I don't know where he gets his from."

These exchanges offer a heartfelt glimpse into their roles as parents, punctuated by humor that underscores the universal challenges and joys of raising children.

8. Upcoming Projects and Directing Ventures

Tom excitedly discusses his new TV show, "Come Together," which marks his foray into directing. He elaborates on the creative process, the collaborative writer's room, and his aspirations within the realm of storytelling.

Quote:

[61:30] Russell Peters: "You wrote the whole thing?"

[62:25] Russell Peters: "I think you've got a team."

[63:02] Tom Segura: "It's like directing a short film."

Russell provides encouragement, recognizing Tom's commitment to expanding his creative horizons and managing the multifaceted aspects of production.

9. Reflections on the Comedy Industry

The duo reflects on the evolution of the comedy landscape, touching upon the impact of digital platforms like YouTube on their careers and the shifting dynamics of live performances.

Quote:

[39:35] Russell Peters: "And then that YouTube explosion, though, made things really change for you."

[40:15] Russell Peters: "Well, the file sharing is what started it."

Russell recounts how early digital sharing of comedy clips played a pivotal role in his sudden rise in popularity, altering the traditional pathways comedians used to gain recognition.

10. Conclusion and Future Tour Highlights

As the episode wraps up, Tom and Russell discuss their upcoming tours, including Russell's "Relax Tour" and Tom's diverse range of performances from arenas to clubs. They emphasize the importance of versatility in engaging different audience sizes and settings.

Quote:

[67:05] Russell Peters: "It's kind of a mishmash of things."

[67:32] Russell Peters: "Next year is pretty hectic."

The camaraderie between Tom and Russell shines through as they share laughs and mutual respect, hinting at future collaborations and continued success in their comedic endeavors.

Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

[00:52] Russell Peters questions his inclusion, leading to a warm introduction.
[02:05] Discussion about Russell's limited interest in hip hop despite cultural ties.
[05:43] Tom recounts receiving a voicemail from Big Daddy Kane.
[07:37] Tom describes the challenge of venue scheduling when bigger acts come in.
[19:22] Russell shares meeting Prince Charles and the amusing interaction.
[28:14] Russell expresses his love for performing in Lebanon.
[35:04] Humorous interaction about their children and gaming.
[61:30] Tom introduces his directing project while Russell inquires.
[39:35] Reflections on the impact of YouTube on their careers.
[67:05] Discussion about the nature of their upcoming tours.

This episode offers a blend of humor, personal stories, and insightful discussions, making it a must-listen for fans of comedy and those interested in the behind-the-scenes lives of stand-up comedians.

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Transcript945 lines

[00:00]
Tom Segura
This week I will be in San Diego at the Pachanga arena on November 8. And I'll be in Phoenix at the footprint center on November 9th. Next month I'll be in New Orleans, Louisiana at the Lakefront arena on December 7th. And I'll be in Pensacola, Florida at the Pensacola bay Center on December 8th. All the tickets are at tomsagura.com tour 100%. And welcome to another episode of Two Bears, One Cave. Pretty crazy news regarding my co host Burt's nervous system. He has some type of nerve issue neuropathy stuff that they're doing. They're treating him and right now, thankfully sitting in for him today is the great Russell Peters, everybody.
[00:53]
Russell Peters
Hey, I'm sure the people watching is going, who or why the fuck him?
[00:58]
Tom Segura
No, you're talk. You're beloved, man.
[01:00]
Russell Peters
You are beloved in the. Com by comics.
[01:03]
Tom Segura
Yeah, but I mean I think real people.
[01:05]
Russell Peters
No, you don't think real people love you some. I think it's 50, 50. I think it's split pretty decently.
[01:10]
Tom Segura
Really?
[01:10]
Russell Peters
Yeah, it's. It's half hate, half love.
[01:12]
Tom Segura
But doesn't that mean that like you've actually made it?
[01:15]
Russell Peters
I mean, I could be.
[01:16]
Tom Segura
I don't think that people who are like, usually the most beloved comedians are comedians who haven't quite hit yet.
[01:23]
Russell Peters
Right.
[01:23]
Tom Segura
That's who's beloved. Like they're kind of ascending and people are like, we want them to get a shot.
[01:28]
Russell Peters
Right.
[01:28]
Tom Segura
And then when, like once you're like.
[01:30]
Russell Peters
Once you get the shot, then the.
[01:31]
Tom Segura
People go, oh, fuck this guy.
[01:33]
Russell Peters
Yeah. Yeah. So like when people like I used to like Eminem before people knew who he was, you're like, okay, shut, calm down there.
[01:38]
Tom Segura
What is, by the way? You are. I think I've, I've told this before many times publicly that you're one of the people that like, if I had to say like the things that I identify that like, you know, make up what I am, what I like, I would definitely list hip hop music in there. And then I'm like, yeah. And then I met Russell Peters and I was like, oh, I guess maybe I don't like hip hop because I don't know, a fucking one. 100th of your knowledge of hip hop is absolutely astonishing.
[02:05]
Russell Peters
Do you know the ironic part is I don't really listen to it.
[02:08]
Tom Segura
Really?
[02:08]
Russell Peters
Yeah, I generally listening gentlemen, just probably classic rock most of the time.
[02:12]
Tom Segura
Really?
[02:13]
Russell Peters
Yeah. I love hip hop as a culture.
[02:15]
Tom Segura
As a culture.
[02:16]
Russell Peters
As a culture.
[02:16]
Tom Segura
Because it's part of your foundation.
[02:18]
Russell Peters
It made me who I am.
[02:19]
Tom Segura
Yeah.
[02:20]
Russell Peters
Made me dress a certain way, walk a certain way, talk a certain way, Dance.
[02:23]
Tom Segura
I've seen you dance.
[02:24]
Russell Peters
Dance a certain way.
[02:25]
Tom Segura
And I've seen you dj.
[02:26]
Russell Peters
DJ a certain way.
[02:27]
Tom Segura
Do you still get on the.
[02:28]
Russell Peters
Absolutely.
[02:28]
Tom Segura
Do you do.
[02:29]
Russell Peters
I thought you were going to have a set set up here. We're going to get busy.
[02:32]
Tom Segura
No, but I've seen you do it many times.
[02:33]
Russell Peters
Yeah, it's fun.
[02:34]
Tom Segura
Yeah.
[02:35]
Russell Peters
So we'll do a party for you guys one day.
[02:36]
Tom Segura
What is. Because I. I find this fascinating specifically about Eminem. And I'll say this Eminem almost like to the point we were just saying about, you know, being. Having made it right, has people who go, I love this guy. A whole bunch of people that will be like, I hate this guy. Like, hate somebody.
[02:54]
Russell Peters
Yeah.
[02:54]
Tom Segura
You're like, wow. And then every time there's, like, the two things I've heard about the criticism and then in defending it, people will be like, oh, they. They playing Eminem in the hood. Like, they're not, you know, but. But then every time an elite MC is in a radio interview, like Rakim or somebody, they will all be like, eminem is like. He is. Either they're either say. They'll say he's the greatest, or this is one of the greatest of all time. This guy's incredible.
[03:27]
Russell Peters
Yeah. They always say he's in a different. Different lane.
[03:30]
Tom Segura
What's your take saying?
[03:32]
Russell Peters
I would. I think Eminem's dope. I mean, does he. Does he make some flop albums? Sure, but who doesn't?
[03:37]
Tom Segura
Yeah.
[03:38]
Russell Peters
It's not like everybody's banging out, you know, bangers every month.
[03:41]
Tom Segura
No.
[03:41]
Russell Peters
You know, he takes his time. He sits and waits till he gets some ideas and he comes back. He doesn't need to do it.
[03:46]
Tom Segura
That's why he does it just for, like.
[03:47]
Russell Peters
He does it just because he remind you I can still do this.
[03:51]
Tom Segura
Yeah. And I'm super creative. And.
[03:52]
Russell Peters
Yeah. He's a recluse, though. Like, it is not leave his house.
[03:56]
Tom Segura
He's just in Detroit.
[03:57]
Russell Peters
Just somewhere in Michigan.
[03:59]
Tom Segura
Somewhere in Michigan.
[04:00]
Russell Peters
Every time I play, like, Windsor. You played Windsor. I call Royce, and I'm like, royce, once you come to the show, he's like, I'll come once. Call Marshall. He just sends me laughing emojis and I go, what? He goes, marshall ain't coming there.
[04:11]
Tom Segura
Yeah.
[04:11]
Russell Peters
Marshall's not crossing the border just to come see your dumbass staying at his house. Yeah.
[04:16]
Tom Segura
Yeah. Are you a recluse? No. You used to go, you. When I started a tour with you, I should inform People that. You're one of the, the people that I. That showed me how to do this, like, how to be a touring comedian, how to treat people like. You were extremely. Always been extremely generous. You treated everybody with respect. You put on great shows, big shows. And so, like, you're somebody who I was like, oh, this is like, this is how to be like. I, I, I, I. You need examples, you know, like, you have an example, and I would tour with you, go all over the place. I feel like you, you're a bit of an extrovert, though, right? Because you really.
[05:00]
Russell Peters
I know. I like people.
[05:01]
Tom Segura
You like people.
[05:01]
Russell Peters
I like people. But I don't leave my house very often when I'm home just because I'm like, I'm never home. So, you know, when you're home, you're like, well, might as well just stay here. I paid for this.
[05:09]
Tom Segura
Yeah, yeah, that's true. And you have a nice house, so.
[05:13]
Russell Peters
It'S a decent one. I moved back to the Malibu house that you came to.
[05:16]
Tom Segura
Really?
[05:16]
Russell Peters
Yeah. That's where I introduced you to Big Daddy Kane the first time.
[05:19]
Tom Segura
That is where you introduced me, which was one of the more surreal moments I've ever experienced. That was like one of those. Oh, this is what. Like there's these things that was when.
[05:29]
Russell Peters
You were a big headed, hairy Tom, when you had hair and a big head.
[05:31]
Tom Segura
Big head. But there's like these things, like when you hear Hollywood stories. You know what I mean? Like, so and so. And then I got the call and then I showed up, and then they were like, you got the part. It was like my version of that where I. My first special came out. I talk about Big Daddy Kane. Then one day, because I lived in this really weird guest house that I was renting in Redondo, I would always just get voicemails. Like, the phone wouldn't ring. It would just be like, voicemail.
[05:58]
Russell Peters
Yeah.
[05:58]
Tom Segura
And I'm just like. It would be for everybody. Everybody would just go straight to voicemail. And I press play, it just goes, sup, Tom? This is Big Daddy Can. What the fuck? I'm chilling at your boy Russ house. Like, I still remember the message. And then you were like, yeah, you should come over. And I just was like, I have to go do this.
[06:15]
Russell Peters
Yeah, well, you know how it happened. Kane was staying with me and he said, hey, Russ, you know this guy Tom Segura? But the way he said, I was like, oh, shit, what did he do? I go, yeah, of course I know Tommy. He goes, he's a funny dude. I go, okay. Like, he did a joke about me. I liked it, and I said, oh, let's call him.
[06:36]
Tom Segura
That's amazing.
[06:37]
Russell Peters
That's exactly how that happened.
[06:38]
Tom Segura
Yeah. I still stay in touch with him.
[06:40]
Russell Peters
I saw my Sub Cane T shirt.
[06:41]
Tom Segura
Yeah, Sub Cane. Yeah. People yell that to me. He says it gets yelled at him all the time. Yeah, that was fucking. That was such an amazing moment. You took me to London.
[06:53]
Russell Peters
That was fun that you've done the O2 on your own now, right?
[06:56]
Tom Segura
No, I've only done Wembley.
[06:57]
Russell Peters
Oh, only. Oh, yeah, I do. I just did. I think I'm doing Wembley again next year. It was great and was fun. But you do the O2 now just, you know, as a. Yeah, as a revisit. Next year. Going to be your 15th anniversary of doing it.
[07:10]
Tom Segura
The reason we couldn't get O2 on this tour was scheduled because these things, like, people don't realize, especially with the big venues.
[07:18]
Russell Peters
Oh, yeah.
[07:19]
Tom Segura
They're just like, oh, no, it's not available. You just can't have it. You're like, okay, yeah, you can have it in next fall. And you're like, that's not. I'm not going to be there then.
[07:28]
Russell Peters
Yeah. Yeah. They always try to. That's a thing. And also, the bigger the name, the more likely you are to get bumped down.
[07:34]
Tom Segura
Yeah.
[07:34]
Russell Peters
Taylor Swift just bought the arena for a month and a half. Okay, cool.
[07:37]
Tom Segura
I had the. A kind of a surreal thing with that, where I'm have this tour lined up, and then I get a call, and they're like, hey, are you willing to move this. This date at this one arena? And I'm like, why? Iron Maiden wants it? And I'm like, no, I love Iron Maiden. No. But I was like, I'm not just, like, giving it up.
[07:59]
Russell Peters
I'd lose it to Iron Maiden.
[08:01]
Tom Segura
No. They're like, well, you get some kickback, like. And I was like, tell me. And then they told me, and I was like, no, that's not enough.
[08:07]
Russell Peters
Oh, that's not a kickback. That's more of a Here's a dollar, kid. Thanks for holding the door for me.
[08:11]
Tom Segura
Is there a place you hate to tour? I've been, like, very vocal about where do you hate? I got, like, on the news in.
[08:19]
Russell Peters
Erie for talking about Erie, Pennsylvania.
[08:21]
Tom Segura
Yeah. I was like, fuck this.
[08:22]
Russell Peters
I mean, it's Erie, Pennsylvania. What the fuck else do they got going on? You know, who's from Erie, Pennsylvania? I know weird facts, apparently, about Erie. There's a newscaster named Maria Sansone that used to be on Fox 11. And now she's somewhere in Boston. She's from Erie, Pennsylvania, but I knew that because there's a porn star named Rebecca Bardot that's from Erie, Pennsylvania, too.
[08:42]
Tom Segura
Oh, really?
[08:43]
Russell Peters
Yeah.
[08:44]
Tom Segura
Have you met these two women?
[08:45]
Russell Peters
Well, I banged Roberta. What's her name? Rebecca. Year before.
[08:50]
Tom Segura
Really?
[08:50]
Russell Peters
Yeah.
[08:51]
Tom Segura
How was she?
[08:52]
Russell Peters
Crazy.
[08:53]
Tom Segura
Can you look it up?
[08:54]
Russell Peters
She's an older one, so, you know, I will. I don't like young girls.
[08:56]
Tom Segura
Can't see her on our bigger screw. Okay. Oh, nice.
[09:00]
Russell Peters
I like them old like that.
[09:01]
Tom Segura
You like them old?
[09:02]
Russell Peters
Older. Yeah. That's why your mom's on the table for me. I'm holy.
[09:07]
Tom Segura
So crazy.
[09:08]
Russell Peters
I'll show her. One bear.
[09:11]
Tom Segura
Nice. Okay. How'd you meet the. Do you meet her online? How do you meet her?
[09:15]
Russell Peters
No, I don't know how I met her. Probably from Yoshi.
[09:18]
Tom Segura
Oh, my God.
[09:19]
Russell Peters
You know, if you're gonna meet a porn star, it's gonna be from Yoshi.
[09:21]
Tom Segura
He's the perfect conduit.
[09:23]
Russell Peters
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's.
[09:24]
Tom Segura
Has he introduced you to a bunch?
[09:25]
Russell Peters
He's a come to it.
[09:26]
Tom Segura
Yeah, he's a come to it.
[09:29]
Russell Peters
Oh, he's introduced me to a bunch. I remember one night I had. This was like maybe 17 years ago, I had. For some reason, Yoshi had brought Joey Silvera to come see me perform.
[09:42]
Tom Segura
Yeah.
[09:43]
Russell Peters
And Joey and I were buddies already, so that was cool. But then Rocco Siffredi showed up.
[09:48]
Tom Segura
Yes.
[09:48]
Russell Peters
And this other guy, I forgot his name, he used to do these smothering videos for Evil angel where girls would just sit on your face and then until you couldn't breathe. And you'd see the guy from Legs Kicking, like, so she has to get off his face. But anyway, that's nice. Yeah. Family. Family viewing. And so we ended up, me, Rocco Siffredi, Joey Silvera, and this other porn guy at in and Out. And I'm like. I look at him, I go, you know, guys, this is the most ironic thing ever. Three porn stars and me at in and out of all fucking Places.
[10:17]
Tom Segura
I know. It's a perfect California get together. Rocco came to the taping I did with you. He was at that in.
[10:24]
Russell Peters
Oh, in English.
[10:24]
Tom Segura
Showtime. No, no.
[10:26]
Russell Peters
Yeah, that's the one I'm talking about.
[10:27]
Tom Segura
Oh, yeah, that night.
[10:28]
Russell Peters
That night.
[10:29]
Tom Segura
Oh, that night. You.
[10:29]
Russell Peters
It was that night. You were on that.
[10:31]
Tom Segura
Yeah, I was on that. Yeah.
[10:32]
Russell Peters
I forgot to put you on that.
[10:34]
Tom Segura
Yeah, yeah. That was Russell Peters presents or something.
[10:37]
Russell Peters
But was that 20 2007?
[10:41]
Tom Segura
No.
[10:41]
Russell Peters
Eight.
[10:42]
Tom Segura
Nine.
[10:42]
Russell Peters
Nine.
[10:43]
Tom Segura
Early nine. What? Okay. But so wait, is there a place, though? Is there a place where you're like, I. I don't want to go there. Just let them hear it. Let them have it.
[10:53]
Russell Peters
There's nowhere that stands out in my mind, really. Yeah, there's places I. There's nowhere, really, that I haven't. Well, there's been places I've not enjoyed as much as others, but, like, that's. But I don't know. I can't. Like, they're not coming to me now.
[11:09]
Tom Segura
You do. Like, you do incre. You're an incredible mimic. You do so many impressions. Like, you know, you can do accents really well. Is there. I feel like, like, for myself, when you go impression, it's not part of my standup. But I'm just saying in life, right, there's things that come naturally to you. Like, you just go, oh, I could do that one.
[11:28]
Russell Peters
Oh, yeah. I do it right back to people if. Immediately if I hear it.
[11:31]
Tom Segura
Is there one that was tough to crack, but then you got it. Like, you couldn't. You couldn't.
[11:35]
Russell Peters
I never worked on them, really.
[11:37]
Tom Segura
It just.
[11:37]
Russell Peters
It either happens or don't.
[11:38]
Tom Segura
So it's the same kind of thing.
[11:39]
Russell Peters
Yeah, it's kind of like, you know, I'm not gonna. Because if you're working at it, then what do you. What am I doing a character?
[11:44]
Tom Segura
Yeah. Yeah.
[11:45]
Russell Peters
I'm really just like, you know, I talk to you and. You know what? And even if it's just an American accent, but if they have a wimpy voice, a deep voice, whatever. I just. I tend to just repeat exactly what I just heard.
[11:55]
Tom Segura
And for the foreign ones, it's just like that, too.
[11:57]
Russell Peters
Same thing. So you just have a great accent. I just. I just do what I hear.
[12:00]
Tom Segura
Yeah. You know, but you also pick up on the whole thing is you pick up on, like, the social aspects of that culture. Like, you have a. You don't just do a voice.
[12:10]
Russell Peters
Yeah, yeah, I know. You got it. Well, if you're also doing a voice, your body has to change.
[12:13]
Tom Segura
Okay.
[12:13]
Russell Peters
You can't just do an Indian voice, like, and be straight, like, hello, everybody. How's it. But your head at your whole body. Hello, everybody. And then if it doesn't do this, if it doesn't flow, fuck you doing.
[12:21]
Tom Segura
Because this is what they do.
[12:23]
Russell Peters
It's what we do.
[12:23]
Tom Segura
Yeah, yeah.
[12:24]
Russell Peters
That's why you never have to worry about India working on AI robots, because, you know, how hard is to make a robot do this? It needs to be on a gimbal.
[12:32]
Tom Segura
Yeah.
[12:36]
Bert Kreischer
This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp. I want to give a shout out to my wife's therapist because this month is all about gratitude. And along with the person I just shouted out, I won't say her name, my wife's therapist. There's another person we don't get to thank enough ourselves. It's sometimes hard to remind ourselves that we're trying our best to make sense of everything, and in this crazy world, that is not easy. Here's a reminder to send some thanks to the person in your life, including yourself. My wife's been in therapy for 23 years. This woman has been a part of our relationship for 23 years. As an outsider. She is an she is not my sister. She is not my mom. She is not my other sister. She's not someone we work with. We talked about this today. It is so valuable to have someone that's not involved in your life helping you along with your life. 23 years. This woman has been in our family practically for 23 years and we have a really happy life. And I'm not. I am not kidding when I say it is in part to my wife's therapist that we have a really happy life. If you're thinking about starting therapy, please give BetterHelp a try. It's entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible and suited to your schedule. Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and you can switch therapists at any time for no additional charge. Something my wife has not done in 23 years. Let the gratitude flow with Better Help. Visit betterhelp.com bears today to get 10% off your first month. That's Better Help hp.com bears need a break from crowded stores and endless gifts lists? Restore your Zen and embrace the natural power of cannabis this holiday season with Via unlac. The power of nature with Via's organic vegan hemp extracts, perfect for relaxation and rejuvenation. VI is the only lifestyle hemp brand. They use compounds found in hemp along with active plant extracts to create products, each with a specific effect in mind. Whether you want to get better sleep, ease your anxiety, enhance your mood, or just get high, they have something for you. They also have zero THC products. If THC isn't for you, like my wife, you can still take advantage of their CBD line with products designed for sleep, focus and energy that will keep you glowing all year long. Their products range from 0 milligrams to 100 milligrams of THC. So these guys have you covered. Covered whether you're looking for a microdose or to enjoy some potent effects and I will tell you right now, these are awesome. Leanne takes the CBD line for sleep. I enjoy the THC for sleep and I will tell you, I'll just tell you, I'm sleeping like a baby. I got to put socks on my hands so I don't cut my face with my fingernails. This holiday season, gift yourself some peace of mind. If you're 21 and over, check out the link to via in our description and use code bears to receive 15% off after you purchase, they're going to ask where you heard about them. Please support our show and tell them that we sent you this holiday season, enhance your everyday with Vaya.
[15:33]
Tom Segura
Have you thought about a gift for yourself this year? One that has the power to help you grow, learn and become a better version of you. Give yourself the gift of language by by getting Babbel Speak like a whole new you With Babbel, the language learning app that gets you talking with quick 10 minute lessons handcrafted by over 200 language experts, Babbel gets you talking a new language in three weeks. Babbel's tips and tools are inspired by the real life stuff you'll actually need when speaking with a focus on conversation. You'll be ready to talk wherever you go. There are really cool things about Babel that I've really enjoyed. One of them is that they constantly make you spell out things and you might think like how does. Well that that helps your brain actually remember the word. Like I've. I realized that in having to spell some of these words you actually commit it to memory in a way that you wouldn't if you hadn't didn't have to do that. So I'm a big, big fan of it. Here's a special holiday deal for our listeners right now. Get up to 60% off your babel subscription, but only for our listeners@babel.com bears get up to 60% off@babel.com bears spelled b a b e l.com bears rules and restrictions may apply. No, that one. Yeah, the Indian. Obviously the Indian one year.
[17:00]
Russell Peters
Have you done India yet?
[17:01]
Tom Segura
I've never done it.
[17:02]
Russell Peters
You should do it.
[17:03]
Tom Segura
I've done a lot. I've done South Africa.
[17:05]
Russell Peters
Great.
[17:05]
Tom Segura
Done. Yeah, I've done a lot of Western Europe. I've done Hong Kong, Singapore, Tokyo, Maau in Asia. That's like my extent of Asian touring. You've done. You've done the Middle East? I've never done.
[17:19]
Russell Peters
Yeah, the Middle East.
[17:20]
Tom Segura
No, I have. I. Well, I've done Abu Dhabi.
[17:23]
Russell Peters
Hey, you did it last year. Earlier this year.
[17:26]
Tom Segura
This year.
[17:26]
Russell Peters
That's May, right?
[17:27]
Tom Segura
That's the first time. Sorry. That's my first time going there.
[17:29]
Russell Peters
Neti had. I opened up that arena.
[17:31]
Tom Segura
You did.
[17:32]
Russell Peters
I was the first guy in there.
[17:34]
Tom Segura
That must have been.
[17:35]
Russell Peters
It was in 2021. It was during pandemic.
[17:37]
Tom Segura
And I tell you that, like, after. So they gave me the, you know, the pre game speech of like, don't talk about Islam. Don't talk about the royals.
[17:44]
Russell Peters
Yeah.
[17:45]
Tom Segura
And like, don't be gross. And I was like, I can help you with two of those.
[17:49]
Russell Peters
But yeah, right.
[17:50]
Tom Segura
I'm just gonna be gross.
[17:51]
Russell Peters
Yeah.
[17:51]
Tom Segura
And you could tell that, like, it's a release. You could see.
[17:55]
Russell Peters
Oh, yeah.
[17:56]
Tom Segura
The people, like, when I'm saying things like actually cheering, like the guy, they're. They're enjoying it, right. And then afterwards, I'm back in like the dressing room and then somebody comes in and they're like, hey, some of the royals would like to say hello. And I just was like, like, just kind of. Oh, yeah, they do. And they're like, yeah, you want to come down here? Okay. I go out in this room and a lot of times these post show, meet somebody, things are bare. Like, it's empty.
[18:24]
Russell Peters
Yeah.
[18:25]
Tom Segura
But like, I get in front of the, you know, the backdrop thing for the photo, and all of a sudden there's like 40 people in the room. I'm like, what the is going on? And then these three gorgeous girls walk up and I'm like, who's this? They're like, these are the royal daughters. I'm like, oh. And I did this thing where like, normally you're like, hey, like, arms around.
[18:47]
Russell Peters
Your arms in front of you. And I was like, I do that too.
[18:49]
Tom Segura
I was like, hell, hello. And I was like, scared. I was like, I'm sorry about what I did. And they're like, no, we enjoyed it. I was like, okay, I get. Am I in trouble? And they're like, no, everything's fine. We. We loved it. We can't wait to see you again. I was like, okay. And I just wanted it to, like, wrap up. I still felt scared. I was like, there.
[19:04]
Russell Peters
That happened to me at one of my shows in Abu Dhabi years ago. One of the princesses came back to say hi. And she was beautiful.
[19:11]
Tom Segura
Beautiful.
[19:12]
Russell Peters
I was just like, what? And I. I couldn't. I was like. And she had like, all female security team. And they all had automatic weapons underneath their burkas.
[19:22]
Tom Segura
Huh.
[19:23]
Russell Peters
And. But you could see the strap, and you could see the gun sticking out. And I was like, oh, yeah. And they didn't look like. Like. Like girls that are like, oh, my God, how do I fire this? They look like, let's go.
[19:31]
Tom Segura
Yeah. Yeah.
[19:32]
Russell Peters
And. But she was really sweet and very kind. They're very sweet.
[19:35]
Tom Segura
They're very.
[19:36]
Russell Peters
And they make you feel very comfortable.
[19:38]
Tom Segura
Yeah.
[19:38]
Russell Peters
Every royal person I've ever met is all the same. Those know how to make you feel like, oh, oh. They take your defense down because you're like, hey, don't worry about all the formal stuff. Let's just be people right now.
[19:48]
Tom Segura
Yeah. Well, you have the best story ever about King of Jordan.
[19:52]
Russell Peters
Yeah, that was cool. That was a cool story. It's my buddy that's. And then Prince Charles, I met him.
[19:57]
Tom Segura
What was he like? Same thing.
[20:00]
Russell Peters
Yeah. He. I meet him at this function in London, and he's like, where's the Indian detective? And I go, oh. He goes, my Russell Peters. He talks very. Language that. And sounds like my dad almost.
[20:16]
Tom Segura
Your dad have that British.
[20:18]
Russell Peters
British with an Indian twang to it, but not heavy. It was pretty good. Like, you know, But. So we're walking, me and Prince Charles, and I got my hands in front of me.
[20:25]
Tom Segura
Yeah.
[20:26]
Russell Peters
And he's got his bloated hands in front of him. Have you seen his hands?
[20:29]
Tom Segura
Yes.
[20:30]
Russell Peters
They're disgusting in person. It's even worse. They look like blood sausages. They do.
[20:35]
Tom Segura
Is. That's just gout.
[20:36]
Russell Peters
Hey, look at that. Yeah.
[20:37]
Tom Segura
Yeah.
[20:39]
Russell Peters
So. So we're walking, and Camila's walking behind us, and I go, oh, sir, do you want your wife to walk with us? He goes, oh, no. It's like he's a real guy.
[20:51]
Tom Segura
Yeah, he's a real guy. He's like, I've had enough of that.
[20:54]
Russell Peters
There was the nicest way of saying that. Bitch.
[21:00]
Tom Segura
That's fucking amazing. Look at those little sausages.
[21:03]
Russell Peters
Oh, yeah.
[21:04]
Tom Segura
Kind of makes me want a sausage. Nice little breakfast sausage.
[21:07]
Russell Peters
Right? Now imagine if he pricks his finger. He'll flood the place.
[21:10]
Tom Segura
Oh, my God.
[21:11]
Russell Peters
He just deflates.
[21:13]
Tom Segura
What that is. Is that explained? What are. What are they. Is that gout?
[21:19]
Russell Peters
It's like some sort of circulation thing, retaining fluid, right?
[21:26]
Tom Segura
Cause it's.
[21:29]
Russell Peters
Have you done this update, for fuck's sake. I can't find on it anymore.
[21:33]
Tom Segura
No, I like how it keeps saying, do you want to know about his fingers? Yeah.
[21:39]
Russell Peters
It's all click.
[21:40]
Tom Segura
What is it?
[21:41]
Russell Peters
Click with your fat fingers. Let me show you this photo.
[21:45]
Tom Segura
Edema. Okay.
[21:49]
Russell Peters
All right.
[21:49]
Tom Segura
Well, we learned absolutely nothing from this article. Do you want to know? And then it just tells you like all the possible things it could be.
[21:56]
Russell Peters
They're like, so do we.
[21:57]
Tom Segura
Do we know? No, but we got you to click this thing here. Okay. This is you guys.
[22:04]
Russell Peters
Yeah.
[22:07]
Tom Segura
And there's those little digits. Oh, he's holding a drink too.
[22:10]
Russell Peters
He's water, I think.
[22:11]
Tom Segura
Oh, that's lame.
[22:12]
Russell Peters
I mean, I'm saying water, cuz, you know.
[22:14]
Tom Segura
Yeah. You look sharp, buddy.
[22:15]
Russell Peters
I don't want to get killed by the royal family. It's not. Where is this in England?
[22:19]
Tom Segura
But I mean, is this at. At a royal place?
[22:22]
Russell Peters
No, was at a function in. In London. They wanted me to perform some South Asian cabinet thing. I know. And Katy Perry was there. I was there. Prince Charles was there.
[22:34]
Tom Segura
Wow, that's wild.
[22:36]
Russell Peters
And I bombed.
[22:37]
Tom Segura
You did?
[22:37]
Russell Peters
Yeah, I'm pretty sure I bombed any.
[22:39]
Tom Segura
Anytime there's music, I always feel like this is.
[22:41]
Russell Peters
Well, she didn't perform. She was just there. But like, they were just so stuffy in that room.
[22:44]
Tom Segura
Yeah.
[22:46]
Russell Peters
And I said to Prince Charles, hey, man, I'm a big fan of your family. I've got your mom on my money because I was Canadian. Money.
[22:52]
Tom Segura
Yeah.
[22:53]
Russell Peters
Anyway, listen, guys, you wonder why I bombed? Did you hear the fucking jokes? I said.
[22:59]
Tom Segura
Are you going to Middle east anytime soon?
[23:01]
Russell Peters
I think so. Well, if it's still there. Yeah, if it's.
[23:04]
Tom Segura
Well, how are we going to resolve this? You've been there.
[23:06]
Russell Peters
I mean, can you fix it? I think we know who needs to fix. And I'm not going to get into that fucking. Fucking bag of. Bag of monkeys there. Well, who's causing it?
[23:19]
Tom Segura
Okay.
[23:19]
Russell Peters
Depending on what side of the fence you're on, you're going to think somebody started it. I don't know.
[23:25]
Tom Segura
What do I know? I'm just asking the guy questions. I don't know.
[23:28]
Russell Peters
I don't want to go down this road either.
[23:29]
Tom Segura
You know what is okay of those like, of those cultural things?
[23:34]
Russell Peters
Oh, by the way, I shot my last special in Abu Dhabi at the Etihad Arena.
[23:38]
Tom Segura
You did?
[23:38]
Russell Peters
Yeah, last year in November. I don't know where it is, but it's. We've sit in the can somewhere.
[23:43]
Tom Segura
Oh, it's not even.
[23:44]
Russell Peters
It's just not even out. We're just fucking sitting on it.
[23:46]
Tom Segura
Why?
[23:46]
Russell Peters
I don't know. Ask my brother.
[23:49]
Tom Segura
Should we call him?
[23:50]
Russell Peters
You should call him and ask.
[23:51]
Tom Segura
Should we call him right now?
[23:51]
Russell Peters
Call him.
[23:52]
Tom Segura
Really?
[23:53]
Russell Peters
Go for it.
[23:53]
Tom Segura
This will be fun.
[23:54]
Russell Peters
He'll answer your call. He's calling and Be like, where the. Is Russell? He said. He said he was supposed to be here.
[24:00]
Tom Segura
Is it. Is that number the three? One zero one?
[24:03]
Russell Peters
Yeah, yeah. No, no, no, no.
[24:04]
Tom Segura
Not the other one. Okay.
[24:06]
Russell Peters
I don't think that 310 exists.
[24:08]
Tom Segura
Really? 416.
[24:08]
Russell Peters
That's the one keeping it real. FaceTime or should I FaceTime them? No. Whatever you want.
[24:18]
Tom Segura
Hello? Hi, may I speak to Clayton Peters, please?
[24:22]
Russell Peters
Speaking.
[24:23]
Tom Segura
Clayton, this is Tom Segura. I'm sitting with your client, Russell, and.
[24:31]
Russell Peters
You'Re live on the air, toots.
[24:32]
Tom Segura
We're on the air, so just giving you a heads up. Don't say the N word. I just wanted to ask you, where is Russell's special? Why haven't I. Why haven't we seen it? Why is it not streaming on platforms all over the world? He said he shot it at the Etihad arena in Abu Dhabi.
[24:54]
Russell Peters
He did. We did. And we ran into all kinds of complications on it. Our financial partners defaulted and left us holding the bag. And then that left string of other problems and terms of chain of title.
[25:09]
Tom Segura
Et cetera, et cetera.
[25:10]
Russell Peters
We finally put it up for distribution. It's with agent right now and waiting to hear back.
[25:15]
Tom Segura
If we don't get any traction on it. Watch for it coming soon on.
[25:19]
Russell Peters
On YouTube and. Or pay per view and.
[25:21]
Tom Segura
Or both. Okay.
[25:23]
Russell Peters
But it's been a shit show, I'll tell you that. We've had a lot of trouble.
[25:26]
Tom Segura
Well, he made me call you.
[25:28]
Russell Peters
He made him call you.
[25:29]
Tom Segura
He made me call you to get that answer.
[25:30]
Russell Peters
I told him to ask you where I was to make you believe I wasn't here yet.
[25:34]
Tom Segura
Yeah, he's here. He was on time and everything.
[25:37]
Russell Peters
I know. I got a text. I was shocked. Amazing. I was shot. You know, it's funny. We pull in at 11:15 and I go, I'm dead ass on time.
[25:45]
Tom Segura
Dead ass on time, dude. Yeah. All right, well, there'll be some more follow up questions with other business inquiries later. Okay?
[25:52]
Russell Peters
All right, man.
[25:53]
Tom Segura
Okay. Take care, guys. Thank you, Clayton. He gave a very. Like, very.
[26:00]
Russell Peters
Yeah, my brother gets very businessy.
[26:01]
Tom Segura
You know how he's very business. He's.
[26:03]
Russell Peters
We're the complete opposites of each other.
[26:05]
Tom Segura
Yeah, it's a good. It's a good pay. Caring.
[26:06]
Russell Peters
You need that. You don't want two people. You don't. Me and another me. Yeah, we're not getting anything done, but.
[26:11]
Tom Segura
Nothing to get done. Yeah.
[26:12]
Russell Peters
We're barely getting through this podcast with me being me. Now I know why Bert's here. So he could laugh anytime to fill time.
[26:20]
Tom Segura
He mean to talk. All he does is talk.
[26:23]
Russell Peters
Where. What happened to him? He's sick, I guess.
[26:25]
Tom Segura
Yeah, but he's in the hospital. He's okay. He's not. He's not an icu. He's just getting, like, general care.
[26:30]
Russell Peters
Okay. His liver's up on him.
[26:36]
Tom Segura
Yeah, he's had. He's had, like, a lot. He had a kidney transplant and.
[26:39]
Russell Peters
Really?
[26:40]
Tom Segura
Yeah, he had a kidney transplant, and he had, like. I guess they drain livers sometimes.
[26:45]
Russell Peters
I don't know. There's a way of cleaning them somehow.
[26:47]
Tom Segura
Yeah, they did something. Something like that to him. And then I know he had his spine. Spinal fluid was drained.
[26:53]
Russell Peters
My back's been up.
[26:55]
Tom Segura
Maybe you should hit him up. He's had a lot of operations.
[26:57]
Russell Peters
I had to cancel work a couple of weeks ago.
[26:58]
Tom Segura
For real? Yeah.
[26:59]
Russell Peters
I canceled the whole weekend because I couldn't walk. I was walking with a cane.
[27:02]
Tom Segura
No.
[27:03]
Russell Peters
Yeah.
[27:03]
Tom Segura
And how did it get resolved?
[27:04]
Russell Peters
Just. I rested it. My lower back was from sitting on planes. Those seats are uncomfortable as hell.
[27:11]
Tom Segura
You got to get a bed on a plane.
[27:12]
Russell Peters
Yeah. And every time I get out of bed, I'd have to grab the cane. I'd look at it, say, sup, Kane? And then I'd go to the bathroom. I call it a callback, guys.
[27:21]
Tom Segura
It is a callback. Wait, I want to ask you because I. I'm genuinely interested in this, because you've done all this world. You've done. You're like, the global comedian. Is there, like. Like, when I did Europe and I did. Oh, my God. Where. Where do they speak Flemish?
[27:36]
Russell Peters
Oh, Belgium.
[27:37]
Tom Segura
So I was in the. In the Flemish side. That crowd, when I. They were like. I would finish a bit, and then at the end of the bit, they would go, yeah. And then I would start the new bit, and then you hear, like, very little chuckles. And then you get to the end of it, and I get applause. I was like, huh? Like, is there.
[27:59]
Russell Peters
I never did the Flemish side.
[28:00]
Tom Segura
I don't think you did the French side.
[28:02]
Russell Peters
Yeah, I did whatever side. Understood English.
[28:04]
Tom Segura
Did you ever. Have you encountered cultures that have, like, you know, left an impression on whether, like, they're really, like, big laughers or whether really.
[28:14]
Russell Peters
I love Lebanon. I love Beirut. It's amazing, really. But the shows were always like, it's. It's all Lebanese. There's no. There's nobody else there.
[28:23]
Tom Segura
Yeah.
[28:24]
Russell Peters
So if you're not talking about them, they're like.
[28:29]
Tom Segura
But then as soon as you. You make it.
[28:30]
Russell Peters
Mention them, Bam. I. Even. Even if I did An Indian joke. They wouldn't get it because I'm like, I don't understand. This is a long time ago. But I had a great time there, though.
[28:40]
Tom Segura
Really?
[28:40]
Russell Peters
You've been there, man, Never. It sucks what they're doing to it right now, but. Yeah, but that place is amazing.
[28:45]
Tom Segura
Did not know that.
[28:46]
Russell Peters
So good.
[28:48]
Tom Segura
And Asia. You've done all of Asia.
[28:51]
Russell Peters
All of Asia.
[28:52]
Tom Segura
And when you do in. When you do India, because you're also, you know, one of them. You're one of those guys. Do you make it a. Do you, like, make the show more about them?
[29:04]
Russell Peters
You have so much reference necessarily. No, I mean, I can pick up local references, like, you know, just. But just for, like, the. Just for that moment. Not like, I don't write an entire show for them. No, do that.
[29:16]
Tom Segura
Can you do other, like, in the same way? Like, India is Indian people.
[29:22]
Russell Peters
Yeah, But India is one of those places where they're really smart. Like, India was the one country in the world. And I'm not saying this because I'm Indian, but it was the one country when I Internationally where I go on stage and I could talk at exactly the same pace and say the exact same slang words that we use right now.
[29:36]
Tom Segura
Yeah.
[29:36]
Russell Peters
And they're right on it.
[29:38]
Tom Segura
Really?
[29:38]
Russell Peters
Yeah, they're right on it. They're sharp as. Oh, that's why they're gonna be a superpower in the next three years.
[29:43]
Tom Segura
Yeah, man. We just got to get used to it. It's tough. I know.
[29:46]
Russell Peters
If you're watching, you're like, we already infiltrated Christina's family.
[29:49]
Tom Segura
Yeah, I know. She's. She's a big fan.
[29:54]
Russell Peters
She knows him well.
[29:55]
Tom Segura
She knows him well. Dude, she lived with a guy. Yeah, yeah. He was. Stepdad. Yeah, yeah.
[30:01]
Russell Peters
Byob. Bring your own brown guy. This episode is brought to you by United Airlines. When you want to make the most of your vacation, book with United. They're an airline that cares about your.
[30:14]
Tom Segura
Travels as much as you do.
[30:15]
Russell Peters
United is transforming the flying experience with Bluetooth connectivity, screens, power at every seat, and bigger overhead bins to help fit everyone's bag. And with their app, you can skip the bag check line, get live updates and more. Change the way you fly. Book your next trip today@united.com.
[30:36]
Tom Segura
So you're getting hungry. Really hungry. Head to Jack in a Box and.
[30:41]
Russell Peters
Pick up a smashed Jack. It's a juicy, delicious smashed burger topped.
[30:45]
Bert Kreischer
With cheese, pickles, grilled onions, and boss sauce.
[30:48]
Russell Peters
And it's now available on Sourdough, the Smash Jack.
[30:52]
Tom Segura
Only a Jack in the Box. Order One on the Jack Aptitude Day. How about the fact that, like, in the time that we've known each other.
[31:04]
Russell Peters
And like I've known you since you lived in Florida.
[31:06]
Tom Segura
No, you. I was living in California.
[31:08]
Russell Peters
Oh, you just happen to go back?
[31:10]
Tom Segura
Yeah, I was just take. I was on that really cool system where the improvs were like, yeah, we'll give you a middle week. You got to buy your own airfare, which is $500 and you'll make 700 for the week, but go for it.
[31:20]
Russell Peters
Yeah.
[31:20]
Tom Segura
And so I was like, okay, that's how I, I met you in the Palm Beach. Yeah.
[31:26]
Russell Peters
But I remember how apprehensive you were when I first met you.
[31:29]
Tom Segura
Really?
[31:30]
Russell Peters
Yeah. You were so like. I was like, hey, how you doing? I'm Russell. Hey, I'm Tom. And you were really, like, shy almost.
[31:38]
Tom Segura
Really?
[31:39]
Russell Peters
But then after a show or two and I said, man, you were funny. He was like, oh, thanks. It was like, I think you weren't sure about me and I probably was. You're a little, you were a little hesitant back then.
[31:50]
Tom Segura
I was probably, I was probably.
[31:51]
Russell Peters
You're also young then. How old were you then?
[31:53]
Tom Segura
Oh, yeah.
[31:53]
Russell Peters
How old are you now?
[31:54]
Tom Segura
45.
[31:55]
Russell Peters
Oh, yeah, man. You would have been much younger then.
[31:58]
Tom Segura
Yeah. Yeah. When I met you, that would have been 2007, 6. Yeah, I was like 27, 28, man. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, Probably. So there's like, you're hesitant, you're not confident. You don't know how the week's going to go. You don't know if the heideliter is going to like you.
[32:13]
Russell Peters
Yeah.
[32:13]
Tom Segura
You don't know how the crowds are going to be.
[32:14]
Russell Peters
And you didn't know me. Like, you didn't know me from Adam. Like you were. This fucking guy's in here sold out. It's. I never heard of him. Who is this guy?
[32:21]
Tom Segura
Yeah.
[32:21]
Russell Peters
So I'm sure you were like, the fuck is going on here?
[32:23]
Tom Segura
I kind of. Yeah, that is true. I definitely was because when they told me I got a week, first of all, you're just so happy to get a week period. And then I was like, who am I working with? And they're like, Russell Peters. And I was like, who is that?
[32:33]
Russell Peters
Yeah.
[32:33]
Tom Segura
And then somebody was like, oh, somebody told me one of the comments like, oh, no, he's great. And. And then it was like, all the shows are sold out. And also then when I got with you, you're like, oh, yeah, this is just like a, like a warm up week. I'm just like Running stuff. I was like, huh? I thought all the shows are sold out. And you're like, yeah, this is what I do before I go to, like, my shows. This is just like.
[32:57]
Russell Peters
I think I was just doing. I hadn't started doing arenas yet. I was about to start doing arenas that year, I think.
[33:02]
Tom Segura
Yeah.
[33:02]
Russell Peters
In 2007, I started doing arenas.
[33:05]
Tom Segura
That's pretty crazy.
[33:06]
Russell Peters
It's not pretty wild, right?
[33:08]
Tom Segura
Yeah, that's pretty wild.
[33:09]
Russell Peters
I'm doing Scotiabank arena in. On December 14th in Toronto. Yeah, that's gonna be my ninth time doing it.
[33:15]
Tom Segura
I just did it last weekend.
[33:16]
Russell Peters
Yeah, you killed it.
[33:17]
Tom Segura
First time.
[33:17]
Russell Peters
Who opens for you?
[33:19]
Tom Segura
I mix it up. I, I that. That show. I brought Jordan Jensen and Jeff Tate, but I. Jeff Tate.
[33:26]
Russell Peters
Wait, I haven't seen Jeff Tate in forever.
[33:28]
Tom Segura
Jeff Tate's great. He lives in Portland now. He was al. He was a Cincinnati. He's a Cincinnati native, but he lives in Portland. Jordan lives in New York. They're both hilarious.
[33:37]
Russell Peters
Oh, good.
[33:38]
Tom Segura
And they legit crush that show. That was a really fun audience.
[33:43]
Russell Peters
Yeah, they're good. My city can be really people.
[33:45]
Tom Segura
Yeah.
[33:45]
Russell Peters
Those glasses are really nice. Keep staring at them. What are they?
[33:48]
Tom Segura
I don't know. I can't read. I, I legit. Can't even see. What.
[33:53]
Russell Peters
Just pass me these. Yeah, I'm over here.
[33:57]
Tom Segura
I'm. I don't. Did your vision deteriorate? Mine has.
[34:00]
Russell Peters
Mine's horrible.
[34:01]
Tom Segura
Yeah, I think it's the other side that has the name, though.
[34:04]
Russell Peters
I'm just trying. Yeah, I can't see.
[34:06]
Tom Segura
I can't see that.
[34:07]
Russell Peters
I was playing like, mom's gonna see this thing.
[34:09]
Tom Segura
How sad. What a dad moment that was where I was like, here you go. And we were both like, I don't know.
[34:15]
Russell Peters
I need my glasses to see your glasses.
[34:16]
Tom Segura
See the glasses? Yeah. Super dads.
[34:20]
Russell Peters
Hey, how are your kids now?
[34:22]
Tom Segura
How are they? Yeah, they're maniacs. Yeah, yeah, dude. They're both.
[34:25]
Russell Peters
The older one's probably chill. More chill than the younger one, though, right?
[34:28]
Tom Segura
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[34:30]
Russell Peters
It's like me and my brother. He's the older one.
[34:32]
Tom Segura
Yeah, the older one.
[34:33]
Russell Peters
And they Always more level headed.
[34:35]
Tom Segura
He's more level headed. He, he, he also understands. He just really gets that. Like, here's the exchange on something, you know, and he manipulates.
[34:45]
Russell Peters
Is he 11 now?
[34:46]
Tom Segura
No, he's much younger. He's. He's 8. He'll be 9 in December.
[34:49]
Russell Peters
But like, I met him when he was an infant.
[34:50]
Tom Segura
Yeah, you met him very young. That's right. We were in the.
[34:53]
Russell Peters
Taking the Neighborhood for a walk. You had him on a leash. It was nice.
[34:55]
Tom Segura
It was nice. He got. I come home the other day and he's like, hey. I'm like, oh, this is nice. He's like, big hug. I just wanted to hug dad.
[35:04]
Russell Peters
Yeah.
[35:05]
Tom Segura
He's like, I love you, man. And I go, I love you too. And he was like, so can I get some more roblox for my robux? Yeah, Robux. And I'm like, is that what the hug and kiss was all about? He goes, I give you something, you give me something.
[35:20]
Russell Peters
That's awesome.
[35:21]
Tom Segura
Hey, man.
[35:22]
Russell Peters
My kid's 5, my son, and he's the other. I don't know where he gets his from. The other day goes, hey. He's obsessed with planes. So I picked him up. He's like, hey, daddy, I want to go to Dubai. I go, what? Where'd you get that from? He goes, what do you. How do you even know about Dubai? I want to see the Burj Khalifa. I'm like, what the.
[35:41]
Tom Segura
Really?
[35:42]
Russell Peters
Yeah. And then I drop him off to his mom, and his mom goes to me. You know, he asked me if he. If he wanted to go see the Burj Khalifa. Wait, he said that to me? I got. I'm sure she's coaching him.
[35:50]
Tom Segura
Yeah.
[35:51]
Russell Peters
And tell me when I go on Emirates. First class.
[35:53]
Tom Segura
Yeah, well, they. They hate long flights, right? And so I took Ellis to the oldest, to New Zealand to visit the Minecraft set, because he loves Minecraft.
[36:06]
Russell Peters
Well, how'd you fly?
[36:07]
Tom Segura
We flew on some Emirates. No, no, no. It was from Dallas. So it was like, I don't know, it was a u. S. Carrier and it. It was fine. But it's 18 hour flight.
[36:20]
Russell Peters
Yeah.
[36:21]
Tom Segura
And so then I told them about Etihad and I showed them, like, you know the little, like, apartment thing they give you? And I was like, check this out. And they were like, how come we didn't take that to.
[36:32]
Russell Peters
They got a point.
[36:32]
Tom Segura
I go, well, yeah, but they don't. That doesn't go the route that we did. And they go, if we're doing long flights, I want that fucking, like, apartment. I'm like, yeah, okay, cool. So then they're like, that Ellis has.
[36:45]
Russell Peters
This really deep voice he does.
[36:46]
Tom Segura
He's always like, hey, man. But he. He does. And then the other guy's like, hey, how are he. Like a little cartoon voice? Yeah, he's six. But anyway, then they're like, well, where does that. Where. Where does that plane go? Well, you could take a plane like that to, like, The Middle east or, like, you know, in Asia, you know, Hong Kong, Japan. And so now they're like, cool. That's where we want to go. Like, they do.
[37:06]
Russell Peters
Singapore Airlines.
[37:07]
Tom Segura
Singapore.
[37:08]
Russell Peters
Singapore Airlines. A380, first class suites. It was the best. I listen, I'm. I'm an Emirates guy, but that. That Singapore Airlines 1, kind of, as far as I was concerned, kind of beat Emirates on that.
[37:18]
Tom Segura
It's the. It's the. The best of the best, right?
[37:19]
Russell Peters
It's so good. And if you get, say you and Christina get the. The rooms side by side, the wall comes down and it becomes one big bed. And you got this giant room like about the size of this.
[37:32]
Tom Segura
And then you can just bang in the sky.
[37:33]
Russell Peters
You could bang in the sky if you're still doing that to each other. And look at that. See, that's when they got the double set up there.
[37:40]
Tom Segura
And they're like, I like that. He's like, fully clothed. They're like, this is how we enjoy our flight.
[37:44]
Russell Peters
I don't know why he should have been wearing the pajamas. They give you pajamas on board.
[37:47]
Tom Segura
Pajamas are nice.
[37:48]
Russell Peters
Pajamas are nice.
[37:49]
Tom Segura
It's a real experience.
[37:50]
Russell Peters
Oh, yeah. I take my under. I free ball that whole flight, too.
[37:53]
Tom Segura
Yeah.
[37:53]
Russell Peters
Why? Why? Why let my balls get sweaty in my own underwear?
[37:55]
Tom Segura
No, and just let them out. Yeah, let them out, dude.
[38:00]
Russell Peters
And that chair, you see that recliner chair there? It has a button on it that turns it automatically. But wherever you turn it, and if you turn the TV on, the TV will follow you. It'll turn with you. TV keeps moving with you.
[38:11]
Tom Segura
Unbelievable.
[38:12]
Russell Peters
Yeah, it's pretty wild.
[38:12]
Tom Segura
They really know how to do it.
[38:14]
Russell Peters
Yeah, it's good. And the food's good and the service is good. And the flight attendants all have open toe shoes. Pretty toes.
[38:20]
Tom Segura
Nice.
[38:21]
Russell Peters
So for me, it's masturbation in the air.
[38:24]
Tom Segura
Wow, that's cool.
[38:26]
Russell Peters
I said too much. Guys, it's cool. Hey, I just got a text saying I'm banned from Singapore Airlines, guys.
[38:30]
Tom Segura
It's cool that they thought of that. They're like, you know, it'll get these guys hard. Yeah, I do appreciate that. Like, when we flew Etihad, the flight attendants were all attractive, and I was like, let's bring this back. Like, yeah, you know, it's not. It's not like when you fly Delta here where you're like, look at.
[38:48]
Russell Peters
Oh, no. You end up with Delta Burke Barbara.
[38:52]
Tom Segura
Bringing her problems down the aisle.
[38:55]
Russell Peters
The old flight attendants are funny because you could tell, like, they're like, yeah, seasoned.
[38:59]
Tom Segura
Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
[39:00]
Russell Peters
And they're.
[39:01]
Tom Segura
You want to drink? That's what they do it. You thirsty?
[39:03]
Russell Peters
And they're, they're real casual with everything.
[39:05]
Tom Segura
Yeah, yeah.
[39:06]
Russell Peters
Taking off now.
[39:07]
Tom Segura
Yeah. It's not like that in those international carriers.
[39:10]
Russell Peters
No, no. They're all very professional.
[39:11]
Tom Segura
It's a whole other level. Love it.
[39:14]
Russell Peters
It's good stuff out there.
[39:15]
Tom Segura
It's real good stuff. Yeah. Wait, what was I going to ask you? Oh, this is what I wanted to ask you. So it was a thing when you popped, I was like, you know, how did, how did this happen? And I think you. And the general observation was that your stuff was cut up and put on YouTube.
[39:36]
Russell Peters
And that was after. So what happened first was people. Remember when people would email you a clip?
[39:41]
Tom Segura
Yeah.
[39:42]
Russell Peters
It would just be audio even. They would. It had chopped up. And they would email people like, yo, listen to this. And that's 2004. They were doing that before YouTube started. Wow. And so they'd email you a three minute clip, take you 24 hours to download the thing.
[39:55]
Tom Segura
Sure.
[39:56]
Russell Peters
And then you'd hear it and people like, I want more. And then when YouTube started in June or May of 19, 2005, somebody dumped the whole special on there. So now people had a video to go to the audio and it was all in one place. They didn't have to listen to it in sections.
[40:10]
Tom Segura
And then that YouTube explosion, though, made things really change for you.
[40:16]
Russell Peters
Well, the, the file sharing is what started it. Yeah. Because The February of 2004, I did DePaul University for 700 bucks and only 13 people showed up.
[40:30]
Tom Segura
Nice.
[40:30]
Russell Peters
And I was like, oof. And I felt bad because at that time, like, seven or bucks, that's a lot of money for a show.
[40:35]
Tom Segura
Yeah.
[40:35]
Russell Peters
I mean, sure. And I felt bad. I was like, should I give them their money back? I mean, nobody showed up. And by giving the full show. And I went back to Chicago like November of that same year, and I did like a theater for three nights. And I was like, what the is going on? I still didn't know what was going on.
[40:50]
Tom Segura
You saw.
[40:51]
Russell Peters
I still had no clue what was happening. I was like, people suddenly like me. This is great.
[40:55]
Tom Segura
No, no clue.
[40:56]
Russell Peters
No clue. Completely clueless. I still don't even know how to upload to YouTube. Do you?
[41:00]
Tom Segura
I've done it before, but I haven't done it in years now.
[41:04]
Russell Peters
Yeah, yeah.
[41:04]
Tom Segura
Somebody. Yeah.
[41:05]
Russell Peters
Like your promo shit's real good. I don't. I do my. On my phone just like, hey, that's them. They know how to do that. They know you got a team now. I don't have a team.
[41:13]
Tom Segura
Yeah.
[41:14]
Russell Peters
Joe Rogan's got a SEAL team, and.
[41:16]
Tom Segura
He'S got a SEAL team.
[41:17]
Russell Peters
He's got a SEAL team. You gotta. I know you got a team. I got. You got the A team.
[41:21]
Tom Segura
A team. For sure. These guys are good. But you have. Well, you have your brother.
[41:26]
Russell Peters
Yeah, it's Team Peters.
[41:31]
Tom Segura
He. He knew what was up. He gave a very professional answer.
[41:34]
Russell Peters
He's very, very, very professional.
[41:35]
Tom Segura
Yeah.
[41:36]
Russell Peters
By the way, he. When. When he called me yesterday to tell me that. What I'm doing today.
[41:40]
Tom Segura
Yeah.
[41:40]
Russell Peters
He's like, okay, so you're gonna go do Sagura, and then you're gonna do a bunch of other ones there. And. And remember, the focus of this is to promote the Relax Tour that starts in Canada at the end of the month. Make sure you. I'm like, all right, I'm not a idiot. All right, because. Yeah, I knew you were gonna say that. Okay, so.
[41:59]
Tom Segura
Okay, well, can we pull up the Relax tour?
[42:01]
Russell Peters
Can we pull up the Relax Tour, guys? Did my brother send you any artwork for that?
[42:05]
Tom Segura
Let's see. Russell Peters.
[42:06]
Russell Peters
Yeah, there we go. Right? There we go there.
[42:10]
Tom Segura
Hey, it's not that serious. That makes sense.
[42:14]
Russell Peters
Yeah, right? There you go. There you go. All right, so you guys got that. So here we are, promoting the Relaxer.
[42:23]
Tom Segura
You're.
[42:24]
Russell Peters
What's your name of your new tour?
[42:25]
Tom Segura
Come together. Okay.
[42:27]
Russell Peters
And that one last one was coming all over.
[42:29]
Tom Segura
I'm coming everywhere.
[42:30]
Russell Peters
That's right.
[42:33]
Tom Segura
Oh, you're hitting the road, bro.
[42:34]
Russell Peters
Oh, yeah. These are just like the Get It Ready. The Get It Ready dates. And then there's the big ones there.
[42:39]
Tom Segura
Yeah, I see that. Can I tell you my big. There's Scotia Bank. I see it.
[42:46]
Russell Peters
Didn't you just do Calgary a couple weeks ago?
[42:49]
Tom Segura
I did. I did it for the great.
[42:50]
Russell Peters
Yeah, I did it, too.
[42:52]
Tom Segura
Can I tell you the market that I learned about on the last tour and I just did it again for them that I'm like, man, this is awesome. In Canada, where? Halifax.
[43:03]
Russell Peters
Oh, yeah. You don't know about Halifax?
[43:04]
Tom Segura
I mean, I didn't before I went.
[43:05]
Russell Peters
Like, that's where the Underground railroad ended.
[43:08]
Tom Segura
No.
[43:09]
Russell Peters
Yeah. Harriet Tubman took him all the way to Nova Scotia, to Halifax.
[43:12]
Tom Segura
Really?
[43:13]
Russell Peters
So if you go to a place called North Preston in Nova Scotia. Yeah, it's like the black area.
[43:19]
Tom Segura
Do you know that they're doing a documentary about her called Getting My Steps In?
[43:23]
Russell Peters
No, no, I was going to say. I was going to say. That'd be amazing. And Tyler Perry's directing it. Harriet Tubman by. Played by Tyler Perry. So. Hey, honey, follow me, you know?
[43:43]
Tom Segura
Yeah.
[43:44]
Russell Peters
Hey, baby man, keep running.
[43:47]
Tom Segura
Okay. Wow. Lissa. So. But that place is awesome, dude. First of all, it. It's one of those place a lot of times if you, you know, you're American and you go, hey, I'm going to, like, Calgary or Edmonton. You're like, yeah, it's just another city. Right. Like, you don't go like, oh, this is so different. Like, Toronto is like, we always, you know, it's Canada's New York. It's just this huge metrop. Whatever. But Halifax has. It's this really interesting maritime culture. Like, it just feels.
[44:16]
Russell Peters
It does. But they got a lot of soul out there, too.
[44:19]
Tom Segura
It's very cool.
[44:20]
Russell Peters
And the food's good out there.
[44:21]
Tom Segura
Food's good. People were great.
[44:23]
Russell Peters
Did you buy lobsters at the airport?
[44:24]
Tom Segura
I did not buy lobsters.
[44:25]
Russell Peters
You know, you can buy live lobsters at the airport. At the airport, and they pack and make a shipping ready for you. They carry it on the plane.
[44:32]
Tom Segura
Oh, did you know that I was on news, on radio shows. All these people got mad at me in Quebec. What'd you say in Montreal? That we were. I was. I think I was doing the podcast with Nick Swartzen.
[44:48]
Russell Peters
Yeah.
[44:49]
Tom Segura
And we were talking about, you know, just for laughs, which we'd done many, many times. And it's. And for people who don't know, it's, you know, that. That has been this, like, this benchmark of, like, I'm for real now.
[45:05]
Russell Peters
Yeah.
[45:05]
Tom Segura
It's a validation thing too. Right. So. And just about. We were just talking about the festival and how in. In the conversation about it, the. How funny it was to us that, like, the first time you go, you're met by a guy who's picking you up who's like, you are in the show. And you're like, do you not speak English? And he's like, some, yes. And you're like, but you live here. He's like, all my life. And you're like, how do you not. And then the French Canadians were like, that is so fucking disrespectful.
[45:38]
Russell Peters
How is that disrespectful?
[45:39]
Tom Segura
I have no idea. I was like, great.
[45:41]
Russell Peters
Then we got woke. French people now.
[45:43]
Tom Segura
Oh, dude, they were so mad. They were so mad. They're like, that is so disrespectful. I'm like, dude, it just blows your mind, because what happens is you go there, right? As an American, you go there and you're like, wait, we're in Canada, right? And yes, you know that, like, French is also a national language. But, like, every Canadian you meet goes, like, I can count to 10, you know, like. But when you go to Montreal, you meet people who are so immersed in their own culture that they have, like, broken English. Of course. It stands out to you.
[46:14]
Russell Peters
Oh, yeah. Like, well, now, what's frustrating, when I went last year to Quebec, when I was in Montreal, they used to have. So in Canada, everything has to be in English and French, right? But in Quebec, it used to be French and English underneath.
[46:27]
Tom Segura
Yeah.
[46:28]
Russell Peters
Well, now they've X the English, so everything's in French. And I'm like, I go to a cafe. I go, what is that? What? Because I knew what it said, but I wanted you to know I'm still in Canada. Tell me what the fuck that says. Yeah, it said, pay into chocolate. And then I'm like, what is that? I go, no, what the fuck is that? I'm getting so mad. English. Why is this not in fucking English?
[46:47]
Tom Segura
Now? Tell him he's Canadian. You give him the fucking business.
[46:50]
Russell Peters
Give me the business. Because you guys fucked it up. Because we respectfully put your shit on ours, and then you disrespectfully took our shit off yours. And now I don't know what the fuck I'm looking at.
[46:59]
Tom Segura
I could. Like, to me, I. At the first time, it was beyond my comprehension. I was like, wait a minute. And I would sit with the guy who was very nice, and I'd be like, you've lived here your whole life. And they're like, yeah, oui. Yes. And I'm like, well, why don't you speak better English? They're like, because I live here, and French is how we live. And I'm like, I just can't believe that you're in this country and that you can. The bubble is this suppressing where you could actually just go through your life not really doing this. That to a lot of French Canadian people was beyond like.
[47:37]
Russell Peters
But it's just. That was also your experience.
[47:39]
Tom Segura
It was my experience.
[47:40]
Russell Peters
It's funny how people get mad if you say what you saw.
[47:43]
Tom Segura
I know.
[47:44]
Russell Peters
Like, this is. I'm telling the story from my. From my honest. My honest place, and you're fucking shit. It's fair.
[47:50]
Tom Segura
Look. It's fair to hear my version and go, oh, you're ignorant. I'm like, that's fine.
[47:54]
Russell Peters
Yeah.
[47:54]
Tom Segura
You could be like, yeah, I'm ignorant. I had no idea. I literally had no idea. Now I do. I've gone back many Times as a.
[48:01]
Russell Peters
Canadian, it's frustrating just to watch them like slowly push us out. But we have to slowly put big them up. I'm like, hold on. This is supposed to be a fair exchange here.
[48:08]
Tom Segura
Yeah.
[48:09]
Russell Peters
So we shaking hands and they've come.
[48:11]
Tom Segura
Close a few times. I remember separating.
[48:15]
Russell Peters
Really? Not really close.
[48:16]
Tom Segura
Kind of close. They still want the. That would be such a fucking crazy.
[48:22]
Russell Peters
Thing if they split. I mean, I. You know what? I feel like Texas could do that in the United States if they want.
[48:27]
Tom Segura
Texas probably has come the closest. Yeah.
[48:29]
Russell Peters
Because Texas is the only place. When I come here, it's only place still feels like America really. I mean like no matter where you are in Texas.
[48:36]
Tom Segura
Yeah.
[48:36]
Russell Peters
It's just. It feels like that's how I picture America to be.
[48:39]
Tom Segura
Mm.
[48:39]
Russell Peters
And that picture is dissipating around the country.
[48:42]
Tom Segura
What is LA like now? Because I feel like it changed from when I lived there.
[48:45]
Russell Peters
It's definitely changed since you left. I don't go out much and I don't wear jewelry when I go out.
[48:50]
Tom Segura
That's fucking.
[48:51]
Russell Peters
I don't go to fancy restaurants, you know.
[48:52]
Tom Segura
Really?
[48:53]
Russell Peters
Yeah. They got people watching you in restaurants now. There's a lot of follow home robberies.
[48:57]
Tom Segura
Yeah.
[48:58]
Russell Peters
And if you're going to follow me home, you're going to have a long drive, pal.
[49:01]
Tom Segura
Yeah. Out to Malibu.
[49:02]
Russell Peters
Yeah. Because I. Not only that, I take. I always take different ways. I don't go the same way every time.
[49:06]
Tom Segura
Yeah.
[49:07]
Russell Peters
I. Because that's to my add. I'm just like, no, I want to go this way today. I want to go that way today. I think I want to go around the whole city before I go home, you know?
[49:13]
Tom Segura
Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's still nice out there.
[49:16]
Russell Peters
I bet the weather is. There's been a lot of earthquakes late. Especially in Malibu.
[49:20]
Tom Segura
Yeah.
[49:20]
Russell Peters
When I left. Right. When did I leave? I left yesterday.
[49:23]
Tom Segura
Are you a beach guy, though?
[49:24]
Russell Peters
No, not at all. Not at all. I look at it and that's it. There it is.
[49:26]
Tom Segura
Yeah.
[49:27]
Russell Peters
And the water's cold.
[49:29]
Tom Segura
It is. Do you like cold water?
[49:30]
Russell Peters
No, I like cold water. You do?
[49:32]
Tom Segura
Yeah.
[49:33]
Russell Peters
After the accident. Do you do the cold plunge? Yeah, often.
[49:37]
Tom Segura
I didn't this morning. I did yesterday morning.
[49:39]
Russell Peters
Oh, you have one at home?
[49:40]
Tom Segura
Yeah. You feel it every day or do I feel it?
[49:42]
Russell Peters
Do you fill it?
[49:43]
Tom Segura
It's. It stays filled.
[49:44]
Russell Peters
Oh, it stays filled and stays icy.
[49:46]
Tom Segura
Yeah, it's plugged into the wall so it stays like a refrigerator. Yeah, it stays at 43.
[49:54]
Russell Peters
I've never done it.
[49:56]
Tom Segura
You have to try it.
[49:57]
Russell Peters
Yeah. You do it naked?
[50:01]
Tom Segura
No, because I don't want to see what it does.
[50:04]
Russell Peters
Well, you won't see it after that.
[50:06]
Tom Segura
So small. It's already. It's not a good starting point. Yeah. Yeah.
[50:10]
Russell Peters
Hispanic side. Never came in on that.
[50:12]
Tom Segura
Nope. No, I got my dad's dick.
[50:16]
Russell Peters
You're welcome. Isn't sagura a gift?
[50:19]
Tom Segura
Oh, man. Yeah, No, I do. I do it in, like, shorts. Like underwear or. Yeah, but you do feel amazing. I don't know. I know people get so sick of hearing about it, but, you know, I.
[50:31]
Russell Peters
Will say I want to do it. I think it would help my back.
[50:34]
Tom Segura
It's good for inflammation.
[50:35]
Russell Peters
Yeah.
[50:36]
Tom Segura
Yeah, that's true.
[50:37]
Russell Peters
Well, yeah, but it definitely gets rid of inflammation.
[50:38]
Tom Segura
I mean.
[50:39]
Russell Peters
Yeah, if you're inflamed, you won't be.
[50:41]
Tom Segura
You do ride this high.
[50:42]
Russell Peters
How long do you sit in there?
[50:43]
Tom Segura
Three minutes.
[50:44]
Russell Peters
That's a long time.
[50:45]
Tom Segura
Breathe.
[50:46]
Russell Peters
Yeah, just keep.
[50:47]
Tom Segura
Keep breathing. And don't start at like, 40. Start at, like, 52 or something. It just feels like you got in, like, a lake, you know, and you're like, whoo. But you can get through it. And then if you want, you keep lowering it.
[50:59]
Russell Peters
Okay.
[51:00]
Tom Segura
Yeah. It's fucking rad. I think you like it.
[51:02]
Russell Peters
I won't be doing it, but it's great to hear about it.
[51:04]
Tom Segura
Yeah.
[51:05]
Russell Peters
I do want to try DMT is what I do want to try.
[51:07]
Tom Segura
I got mushrooms in gummy form that are incredible.
[51:12]
Russell Peters
I did mushroom chocolate, mushrooms around Christmas time.
[51:17]
Tom Segura
Yeah.
[51:18]
Russell Peters
And, you know, it's a little bar says take three pieces for microdose.
[51:22]
Tom Segura
Yeah.
[51:22]
Russell Peters
So took the three pieces. That was too much for me.
[51:25]
Tom Segura
Three? Yeah. I always. Whenever somebody tells you the what to take, just go in half at least.
[51:31]
Russell Peters
And I was like, how much can be in there?
[51:32]
Tom Segura
Right?
[51:32]
Russell Peters
It was like a little piece and for a Rocher, and. And I was the only one on it. And we went to a restaurant and there was like 10 people with me, my kids, everything. And. And it kicked in right as we got in the restaurant.
[51:44]
Tom Segura
Yeah.
[51:45]
Russell Peters
So I can hear everybody's conversations around me. And then it was like, I'm like. I started panic. I'm like, what the fuck is going on? Then people like, hey, what's good here? What should they just. Just order your fucking food. Don't talk to me now.
[51:57]
Bert Kreischer
Yeah, nobody talk to me.
[51:58]
Russell Peters
Just order your food. I'll pay for it.
[51:59]
Tom Segura
And everyone's like, what's his?
[52:01]
Russell Peters
Yeah. They thought I was having a meltdown. I was like, just leave me alone. I'm tripping out, dude.
[52:05]
Tom Segura
I had a friend who. He gave me an oxy. And then he's like, here you go. Gave me. He gave me two, actually. And I'm like, okay, I'll take one. Obviously not taking two. I take one and I'm on a plane and I'm like, ah. And I'm just drooling onto myself and I'm. And I get off and I was like, yo, dude, I just took that on a flight. He goes, did you take the whole thing? I go, yeah, it's a pill. He's like, oh, yeah. He's like, yeah, you should have taken that in half. I go, you gave me two. Why would I think to split it in half?
[52:40]
Russell Peters
You think? One is for now, one's for later. Why don't you give me a four day dose?
[52:44]
Tom Segura
He gave me the strongest one they make.
[52:48]
Russell Peters
What are oxy supposed to do, though?
[52:50]
Tom Segura
Yeah, it's supposed to. I mean, it's a pain pill and it's supposed to have that effect. But he also gave me an extremely strong.
[52:55]
Russell Peters
Strong, like the horse pill.
[52:57]
Tom Segura
Yeah. And I'm just drooling on maybe the.
[52:59]
Russell Peters
Chlamydia pill of oxygen. So strong.
[53:02]
Tom Segura
I'm like, you think I was in a plane? Like, how do I crush this thing up? No.
[53:06]
Russell Peters
Can I get a knife? I cut this pill.
[53:08]
Tom Segura
I have to cut this. You have a pill cutter narcotic in half. Do you mind? Yeah. This the heroin in pill form?
[53:15]
Russell Peters
Yeah, I did. I did mushrooms for the first time about two years ago in y'all right there? Yeah. And you want one? No. Good. Thanks. What is that? Are you doing nicotine? Oh, wow.
[53:26]
Tom Segura
Yeah, they're awesome.
[53:27]
Russell Peters
I never done it.
[53:28]
Tom Segura
Just try it.
[53:28]
Russell Peters
I smoke cigars. I'm good with that.
[53:29]
Tom Segura
Oh, yeah, you do. Do your cigars.
[53:30]
Russell Peters
I am a cigar guy. No, I. So I did it with a shaman in Amsterdam two years ago for the first time, and it was cool. I did it laying down with a mask on, like a eye mask. So it was a cool trip because you're just laying there and feels like you're floating everywhere. And you think you're dreaming at first, but then you realize you're tripping. And then once you start realize you're tripping, you start to enjoy it more because, like, okay, yeah, this isn't real.
[53:55]
Tom Segura
This is. That. That mushroom gummy. I told you the first time I took it, I took it during the day before a flight again. And I was like, I was. No, I enjoyed it. And it was like, oh, this is a. It's a nice chill High. The second time I did it, I took it in bed and I had a. I put an eye mask on. And it was such a different experience with colors and movement. Like, it felt like a proper trip as opposed to the other one where I was like, oh, I'm just like.
[54:23]
Russell Peters
Kind of high right now. You're just kind of dopey around the scene. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was. Well, I saw myself dead. I was dead in New York, on my head on the sidewalk, my body on the street, and everybody's around me crying, and I could see myself and I'm floating away from it, and I'm laughing at them. I'm like, I'm not there anymore, guys. What you're wasting your time for. And then the only person I recognized was Crazy Legs from Rocksteady Crew.
[54:48]
Tom Segura
Crazy Legs.
[54:49]
Russell Peters
Crazy Legs was like running to get help. And I go, legs, don't bother. I'm. And I just kept floating. Okay, bye. I just left. I just. I didn't even. I didn't even like, stop to say. I just kept floating away. It's floated right away.
[54:59]
Tom Segura
You have so many hip hop friends.
[55:02]
Russell Peters
I'm an official Rocksteady Crew member. I don't know.
[55:03]
Tom Segura
Are you really?
[55:04]
Russell Peters
I am, yes.
[55:05]
Tom Segura
You like a jacket?
[55:06]
Russell Peters
I do have a sweatshirt that says Rocksteady Crew and brown comic on the back.
[55:10]
Tom Segura
Wow.
[55:11]
Russell Peters
Legs gave me that for. And when he. When he made me a member.
[55:14]
Tom Segura
That's pretty rad, dude.
[55:15]
Russell Peters
Yeah, it's pretty cool.
[55:16]
Tom Segura
And your friends. I'll tell you when I go, oh, I wish I was friend. Your friends with Cedric, right?
[55:21]
Russell Peters
Yeah, I was. He was at my house two nights ago.
[55:24]
Tom Segura
I think he's so funny.
[55:25]
Russell Peters
We get the. You got. Next time you come down, you got to come over, cuz we. We have these random nights where people come over, smoke cigars on the balcony and hang out.
[55:32]
Tom Segura
Just shoot the.
[55:33]
Russell Peters
So it was me, Cedric, David justice, and Bentley Evans the other night. That's, you know, Bentley. He created Martin and Jimmy Fox show.
[55:40]
Tom Segura
Jesus.
[55:40]
Russell Peters
Yeah, so it was just the four of us talking.
[55:43]
Tom Segura
That's great.
[55:44]
Russell Peters
Monday on my birth. Sunday was my birthday. Melly Mel dropped by and hung out till like 4 in the morning.
[55:50]
Tom Segura
It was your birthday?
[55:50]
Russell Peters
Yeah. Yeah.
[55:51]
Tom Segura
Happy birthday, man.
[55:52]
Russell Peters
You know, four years ago, you sent me a pair of shoes from Brunello Cinelli. And this year, not even a text. Wow.
[55:57]
Tom Segura
How old are you?
[55:58]
Russell Peters
54. Wow. I think I text you on your birthday earlier. Sean, I never got. Let me just double check that for you. Let's check the tape. On this one, guys. Seg Ura. Let's see, let's see. Yeah. I text you on April 18th. Happy birthday. Yeah. No reply. Then May 11th, I sent you that photo.
[56:22]
Tom Segura
Wait, what number are you texting, though?
[56:24]
Russell Peters
I'm texting the right one.
[56:25]
Tom Segura
You are?
[56:26]
Russell Peters
Yeah. Because I texted the right one and then I sent you that photo of you, me, Rogan Burr and Ian Edwards, and you said, damn.
[56:33]
Tom Segura
Wait, are you a 323?
[56:35]
Russell Peters
Yeah, yeah.
[56:36]
Tom Segura
And then.
[56:37]
Russell Peters
And then June 8th, I text you and you replied the next day. That was nice of you. And then in on August 14, you asked me what, the best hotel to stay in Toronto. Did you stay at the one I suggested?
[56:49]
Tom Segura
I did.
[56:50]
Russell Peters
It's nice, right?
[56:51]
Tom Segura
Yeah.
[56:51]
Russell Peters
Oh, hey, Tom just sent me a happy birthday. That's so nice of him. You guys see Tom? Cigar Tom. Thanks for the message, but the Cucinellis are much better.
[57:01]
Tom Segura
Fuck. I gotta get that address again.
[57:05]
Russell Peters
I'll send it to you.
[57:06]
Tom Segura
Okay? Yeah, I need the address. So my. Wait. Both of our moms are casino moms.
[57:15]
Russell Peters
Casino moms. Your mom is. I know you talk about her mental state, but your mom's still physically in good shape.
[57:23]
Tom Segura
She. She can get around.
[57:24]
Russell Peters
She can get around.
[57:25]
Tom Segura
Her mental still there. She's still manipulating like I saw the.
[57:28]
Russell Peters
Way I saw you. Like, she's hilarious.
[57:30]
Tom Segura
She's very funny.
[57:31]
Russell Peters
And. And I love your relationship with her.
[57:34]
Tom Segura
She's very funny.
[57:35]
Russell Peters
My mom's still sharp in the head, but my mom. I just found a video of my dad's 70th birthday.
[57:41]
Tom Segura
Yeah. Party.
[57:42]
Russell Peters
And it was 1995. Wow. And I was 25 in the video. And my mom was my age. My mom was 54 in this video.
[57:52]
Tom Segura
Wow.
[57:53]
Russell Peters
And I was like, holy shit, that's. But my mom at 54 looks exactly the same as she does at 83.
[57:59]
Tom Segura
Yeah.
[58:00]
Russell Peters
Like, they just. My mom's packed it in as soon as she had the kids. All right, that's it done. No need to look like anybody anymore.
[58:05]
Tom Segura
Yeah. Yeah. That's what women do.
[58:06]
Russell Peters
But your mom stayed. You know, she got a Hispanic mother. She's gonna. You know, they take a lot of pride in that stuff.
[58:12]
Tom Segura
I don't know. I don't think she puts a lot of effort into it, to be honest.
[58:15]
Russell Peters
She looks good. I sound creepy, but, yeah, she looks good.
[58:18]
Tom Segura
Okay.
[58:19]
Russell Peters
Hey, guys, what's your mom's name? Chatta Teen.
[58:22]
Tom Segura
Chato Charo. Charlo is a nickname for Rosario.
[58:25]
Russell Peters
Her name is Rosario.
[58:26]
Tom Segura
Her birth name is Rosario. Yeah. And everybody whose birth name is Rosario, which, yeah, it's it's. They call it.
[58:33]
Russell Peters
I mean, I can see how she was a catch back in the day though.
[58:35]
Tom Segura
She was beautiful. I. I have nudes. Photos. Nudes of her. Yeah, yeah, that's definitely not her there.
[58:43]
Russell Peters
I have that T shirt.
[58:47]
Tom Segura
I have some good ones. I'll send you some. Some better Charo pics.
[58:51]
Russell Peters
Yeah, please.
[58:52]
Tom Segura
Yeah, some good ones.
[58:53]
Russell Peters
Yeah. How's your feet? Good feet. Not now. I mean they get. As they get older, they get more. I'm getting weird on this thing. Guys.
[58:59]
Tom Segura
It's okay.
[59:01]
Russell Peters
There's people. Can you bring back Bert? That creepy brown guy was terrible.
[59:05]
Tom Segura
Believe me, they're not saying that. What, what's. What ethnicity?
[59:10]
Russell Peters
Is your wife Filipina?
[59:12]
Tom Segura
Nice feet.
[59:13]
Russell Peters
Very nice feet.
[59:14]
Tom Segura
Really?
[59:14]
Russell Peters
Yeah, that's actually why I noticed her.
[59:17]
Tom Segura
You saw her feet first?
[59:18]
Russell Peters
Yeah. Where were you at Nordstrom?
[59:21]
Tom Segura
Was she trying on shoes?
[59:22]
Russell Peters
She was. I was walking by and I was like, damn, look at the girl's feet. And then she caught me looking and I, and I didn't know what to do so I went, I swanked at her and then I walked away. And then, and then her sales guy is my sales guy. He goes, you know that is right. She goes, no. He goes, that's a comedian. Russell Peters. He goes, I don't know. I don't watch comedy. I'm like, what?
[59:43]
Tom Segura
Really?
[59:43]
Russell Peters
And now that I'm married to him, like, ah, yeah, you don't watch comedy. You miserable. Just kidding, babe. Don't, don't get mad, but keep that in.
[59:51]
Tom Segura
Oh, there's Charo.
[59:52]
Russell Peters
Which one? Leaning forward with the blonde or on the ground?
[59:56]
Tom Segura
The one leaning forward.
[59:58]
Russell Peters
Leaning forward. Oh, wow.
[59:58]
Tom Segura
Yeah, that's Charo.
[59:59]
Russell Peters
Trying to see who do you look like her? Are you an only child?
[60:02]
Tom Segura
No, I have two sisters. She's very dark there, by the way.
[60:05]
Russell Peters
Yeah, well, it's the Peru.
[60:06]
Tom Segura
Well, they used to just lay in the sun from like 9am yeah, yeah. Now she has some pre skin cancer. This photo is great because this is.
[60:17]
Russell Peters
Like the 60s, it looks like.
[60:18]
Tom Segura
Yeah, this is definitely back in the day.
[60:20]
Russell Peters
68 or something.
[60:21]
Tom Segura
Her sister Blanca sitting on the ground.
[60:23]
Russell Peters
Yeah, Blanca's pretty good though.
[60:24]
Tom Segura
Blanca's very pretty. And then her best friend who adored my mother who died is. Look how she's admiring my mom.
[60:33]
Russell Peters
Cuz she has a crush on your mom.
[60:34]
Tom Segura
Yeah, that's Chado Fatti. Also Chado.
[60:36]
Russell Peters
Oh wow.
[60:36]
Tom Segura
Yeah.
[60:37]
Russell Peters
Oh, they're all Peruvian women there.
[60:39]
Tom Segura
Yeah, they're all smoking.
[60:40]
Russell Peters
Yeah. Yeah. They like the one that admires your mom. Looks like a white Girl. And then it looks like Karen Carpenter on the ground.
[60:47]
Tom Segura
Huh?
[60:49]
Russell Peters
And the lady smoking, look, she's about to rip one right after.
[60:53]
Tom Segura
I know. She does look like that. Yeah, that's a bunch of Peruvian ladies right there. Yeah, most are dead.
[61:05]
Russell Peters
Yep. That's what happens to them.
[61:07]
Tom Segura
Yeah, they just die.
[61:08]
Russell Peters
It's kind of the end of the run.
[61:08]
Tom Segura
Yeah, it's the end of the run. You just die.
[61:11]
Russell Peters
Speaking of which, how is Christina?
[61:12]
Tom Segura
Oh, yeah, she's alive. She is alive. Where is she? She's home right now. I think she had radiation today. Localized radiation. And then she's like, you know, after.
[61:23]
Russell Peters
Probably get four or five.
[61:24]
Tom Segura
She said it gets tired. Yeah, she gets tired. So she'll rest, take it easy today.
[61:28]
Russell Peters
And what is this TV show you're doing now?
[61:31]
Tom Segura
So I'm in pre production. It's been fucking crazy. As soon as we wrap here, I go over to the production office. We start shooting next Wednesday.
[61:39]
Russell Peters
Yeah, I know. I saw you cancel dates.
[61:40]
Tom Segura
Yeah, it's been. Yeah, because, like, I know. And people were like, why don't you cancel that thing and do the dates? I'm like, it doesn't really work like that. So, yeah, we're shooting in Austin.
[61:51]
Russell Peters
Right.
[61:53]
Tom Segura
We'll shoot for about six weeks. The show is basically. Every episode has three short stories. So kind of like. Remember the old Twilight Zone? Yeah, that type of presentation. But there are short stories that are.
[62:07]
Russell Peters
Dark and so 10 minute stories.
[62:09]
Tom Segura
Three of them kind of like that. Yeah, some of them are varying. It's like one episode, we have a 15 minute story and like a five minutes. Like. So.
[62:17]
Russell Peters
Yeah, there's no. There's no rule to it. Just. This is what we plan on doing.
[62:21]
Tom Segura
Yeah, exactly. So they're all. I mean, everything's obviously written ready to go. We start shooting Wednesday.
[62:26]
Russell Peters
Excited.
[62:26]
Tom Segura
I'm super excited. It's.
[62:28]
Russell Peters
And you wrote the whole thing?
[62:29]
Tom Segura
I wrote it. I wrote with a. I got a writer's room with like great, great writers. So I brought in a bunch of them. And then that room made everything better. And then there's also original ones that came from that room from being in the room together. But it was. Yeah, I get to direct a few of them, which I'm really excited.
[62:46]
Russell Peters
You want to direct.
[62:47]
Tom Segura
Yeah.
[62:47]
Russell Peters
Really want to direct.
[62:48]
Tom Segura
I will. I. The thing is that this is a perfect place to.
[62:53]
Russell Peters
Because it's yours.
[62:54]
Tom Segura
Well, it's also my. And. And the. I'm not. It's not like, hey, I'm directing this movie to start. I'm directing a short story.
[63:00]
Russell Peters
Yeah, it's like.
[63:01]
Tom Segura
It's like directing a short film.
[63:02]
Russell Peters
Yeah, it's open mic.
[63:03]
Tom Segura
Yes. So I get, I get to do like, I don't know. The first one I do is like six or seven pages. The next one is like, I'm doing one like eight page one and the next one's like six page. So it's like a stepping into that. And like. Yeah, if I fucking hate it, I'll know. And it won't be like, oh, because I directed a movie. I directed this thing.
[63:22]
Russell Peters
So there's a lot of work.
[63:23]
Tom Segura
It's work. It is work. I mean, I'm in everything except for like one. So it's a lot of work.
[63:28]
Russell Peters
You're number one on the schedule too. Yeah, you're number one on the schedule. And then you guys are going to direct. You're going to be number one and directing. You're going to be beat.
[63:36]
Tom Segura
Yeah, it's gonna be long, long days.
[63:38]
Russell Peters
But I mean, I'm saying it in a good way, but it's just like people that don't know, like, is exhausting.
[63:44]
Tom Segura
Yeah. It wears you out for sure. But I think I've always loved, you know, features and I love, like, I love this world.
[63:53]
Russell Peters
So for me, you haven't done much acting though, right?
[63:55]
Tom Segura
Not much, no. I've done a few parts and things, small parts over the years, but yeah, I'll be acting a lot in this.
[64:02]
Russell Peters
Yeah.
[64:02]
Tom Segura
Yeah.
[64:03]
Russell Peters
You're gonna like it.
[64:03]
Tom Segura
I think so.
[64:04]
Russell Peters
When it's yours, it's different.
[64:06]
Tom Segura
Big time. Yeah.
[64:07]
Russell Peters
Because you really understand it. You're like, I know exactly what I'm doing.
[64:09]
Tom Segura
Because you've had your shows and I've.
[64:12]
Russell Peters
Done some stuff, nothing crazy.
[64:13]
Tom Segura
Do you like it?
[64:15]
Russell Peters
I. It's okay. I mean, it's a lot of work and the payoff's just not there anymore.
[64:22]
Tom Segura
Yeah.
[64:23]
Russell Peters
And I mean, I look at it as well, I could stand here and work for a month and a half for 14 hours a day, six days a week and. Or I could go do a weekend and make way more money than I did in this month and a half of my entire life being wasted.
[64:37]
Tom Segura
That is crazy. I know. I remember I. Yeah, I've had one time. I was. I was shooting one. A movie. Small part, but they need, you know, they're like, you gotta be here for like three weeks or whatever.
[64:47]
Russell Peters
Yeah.
[64:48]
Tom Segura
And for the three weeks, I was like, man, this is. They really don't pay you shit.
[64:51]
Russell Peters
Yeah.
[64:52]
Tom Segura
And so I just did one show and I was like, oh. I, like, just supplemented my salary by More than double.
[64:59]
Russell Peters
Yeah. It's one of those things where you're like, okay, I'm doing it for the love.
[65:02]
Tom Segura
But you have. That's the thing. You have to love it. So, I mean. Yeah.
[65:05]
Russell Peters
Like, if my friends are doing something they'll. You want to do. Oh, yeah. But if, like, they're like, hey, they want you to audition. I'm like, man, I'm good.
[65:10]
Tom Segura
Yeah.
[65:11]
Russell Peters
Someone so and so wants to know if you want to. Is it an open audition? Are they asking for me? Well, they're open to you. I'm gonna. I'm not doing it.
[65:18]
Tom Segura
Yeah.
[65:19]
Russell Peters
Fucking doing this 35 years now. I don't want to. I'm sick of jumping through hoops.
[65:23]
Tom Segura
Yeah.
[65:24]
Russell Peters
You know, either. You know what I. Do you know who I am. You want me or you don't want me. I don't give a.
[65:28]
Tom Segura
35 years.
[65:29]
Russell Peters
35 years since 89.
[65:31]
Tom Segura
Wow. That is.
[65:33]
Russell Peters
I first did Just for laughs in 96.
[65:37]
Tom Segura
Wow.
[65:38]
Russell Peters
That was a good. That was a good year.
[65:39]
Tom Segura
That was when Just for Laughs would like, still.
[65:41]
Russell Peters
That's when Chicken got a deal that year. Yeah.
[65:44]
Tom Segura
Tell people the chicken story real quick.
[65:48]
Russell Peters
Chicken was. This guy was a comic, called himself Chicken. Did he dress up in a chicken suit? I think.
[65:52]
Tom Segura
I think he had a. Either did that or didn't he have, like a prop chicken with something like that?
[65:57]
Russell Peters
And he got a million dollar deal. It was the last million dollar deal they gave at Just For Laughs. And then he killed himself a few years later. Right.
[66:04]
Tom Segura
Yeah. Good story to end on.
[66:07]
Russell Peters
I mean, you know, did he hang himself? Because that'd be even funnier if he choked his chicken.
[66:15]
Tom Segura
I believe he did. I think he did.
[66:17]
Russell Peters
That'd be amazing.
[66:19]
Tom Segura
Just.
[66:19]
Russell Peters
He's just going for the punchline right to the end, you know? Oh, I love commitment.
[66:23]
Tom Segura
Yes. You have to commit.
[66:25]
Russell Peters
You gotta commit to that one.
[66:26]
Tom Segura
You gotta commit. Pull up the dates again. We're gonna go because we don't want to let Clayton down. Yeah, the.
[66:34]
Russell Peters
I don't want him to think. I don't want him to. I don't want to prove to him that I'm an idiot.
[66:37]
Tom Segura
So stay relaxed. Just relax.
[66:39]
Russell Peters
It's just relax, Relax. It's not that serious.
[66:42]
Tom Segura
Just. Or as the. I feel like there's some places in the mall called Just Relax.
[66:47]
Russell Peters
Yeah, those. Those fake men. They have a really shitty artwork on their board.
[66:52]
Tom Segura
Yeah, just relax. Just relax.
[66:55]
Russell Peters
Like they Google. How do I get a logo?
[66:57]
Tom Segura
Yeah.
[66:57]
Russell Peters
And then, like, here, I generated a logo for you.
[67:01]
Tom Segura
Well, Russell's touring.
[67:02]
Russell Peters
Well, those are they see. It's funny because I'm doing the arenas and the club dates in between the arenas too. It's kind of a. Yeah. A mishmash of things.
[67:09]
Tom Segura
I think that's the best way to actually do stand up.
[67:12]
Russell Peters
I agree. Because if you get stuck in the arena head space.
[67:15]
Tom Segura
Yeah.
[67:16]
Russell Peters
And you go into a club, you. It throws you off.
[67:18]
Tom Segura
It does. You're doing the. Actually the right way to do it, which is you kind of. You hop in and out so you can see Russell all over. This is. Looks like mostly North America, but you'll probably go to other places in the world.
[67:32]
Russell Peters
Next year is pretty hectic.
[67:35]
Tom Segura
Hectic. Once we get into.
[67:36]
Russell Peters
Let's see. Keep going. February, once again into March. February, March. It's gonna be nutty. Oh, they haven't announced it yet. Oh, no, they do. There we go. Good. Okay. Not yet. Okay. After that. Oh, yeah. They haven't put it out there, but.
[67:48]
Tom Segura
All right.
[67:49]
Russell Peters
We go international after the Peacock Theater in February.
[67:53]
Tom Segura
Well, go see.
[67:54]
Russell Peters
It's like Australia, New Zealand, all that stuff.
[67:56]
Tom Segura
Asia, the hot spots, the good spots. Go see Russell Peters on tour. You can get tickets@russellpeters.com. you're one of the best, man. And you're a fucking great guy. Thank you for.
[68:07]
Russell Peters
Thanks, Thomas.
[68:08]
Tom Segura
Thanks for taking me along all those years.
[68:11]
Russell Peters
Come on, kid.
[68:11]
Tom Segura
It was great.
[68:12]
Russell Peters
I knew it when I saw you. I said, this kid's gonna be something if he shaves his head.
[68:16]
Tom Segura
This kid's gotta shave his head. All right, I did. We love you. Thanks, man. High five. See you next week, guys.
[68:24]
Russell Peters
Bert and Tom. Tom and Bert. One goes topless while the other wears a shirt.
[68:29]
Tom Segura
Tomorrow.
[68:30]
Russell Peters
Tell stories and birds the machine. There's not a chance in hell that they'll keep it clean. Here's what we call two bears, one cave.
[68:47]
Tom Segura
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