Podcast Summary: 2819 Church — “I Beg Your Pardon” | Romans 12:14–21 | Lonnell Williams

Date: March 23, 2026
Speaker: Executive Pastor Lonnell Williams
Text: Romans 12:14–21
Podcast: 2819 Church
Theme: Forgiveness, Overcoming Offense, Living Out Grace

Episode Overview

In this powerfully personal and biblically rooted message, Executive Pastor Lonnell Williams explores the complex nature of offense and forgiveness through the lens of Romans 12:14–21. Drawing on historical context, personal family history, and transparent self-reflection, Pastor Williams challenges listeners to release offense, forgive others proactively, and embody Christ’s call to radical love—even when justified hurt lingers.

Key Insights & Discussion Points

1. Universality of Offense and the Call to Grace

• Pastor Williams opens by recognizing a global and unlikely congregation—those free and those physically behind bars, in every corner of the world—and reminds all listeners that “whom the Son sets free is free indeed” (00:50).
• The message’s title, “I Beg Your Pardon,” harks back to manners instilled in his childhood and becomes a motif for how believers should respond when wronged: not with retaliation, but with Christlike forbearance (04:30).
• Quote: “Nothing is more dangerous than offense that has decided and learned how to look justified.” (08:44)

2. The Anatomy and Danger of Offense

Historical Context (09:45)

• Williams provides history on how Emperor Claudius expelled Jewish Christians, resulting in a divided, offended, and displaced community re-integrating into a Roman church that had literally and emotionally reorganized without them.
• Analogy: “What you gave temporary access to started to make permanent changes. And that is what offense does.” (12:05)

Diagnosis of Offense

• Offense isn’t created by an event, but by “the meaning you assign to the moment” (15:50). Hurt becomes offense when it is rehearsed, cherished, and given narrative power.
• Quote: “You didn’t just experience offense, you gave it access. And anything you give access to, eventually will take control.” (13:20)

Filtering Life Through Hurt

• Offense warps perspective—every action, every silence becomes “proof” that affirms our narrative of being wronged. (17:05)
• Hurt, when left untreated, becomes not just a wound, but a cast nobody can see.
• Quote: “You are not responding to truth, you’re reacting to the story that you tell yourself.” (17:44)

3. Biblical Teaching: Responding to Offense

Romans 12:14—Blessing Instead of Cursing (22:55)

• Paul commands us not only to avoid revenge but to actively pray blessing over those who wrong us.
• Quote: “Bless those who persecute you. Bless and do not curse them...he said it twice because once was not enough.” (23:08)
• This is “corrective language”—for after the offense, not before, requiring spirit-empowered intervention.

Romans 12:15—Empathy and Emotional Maturity (29:30)

• Rejoicing with the joyful, weeping with the weeping—even if those people have hurt us—is a true test of spiritual maturity.
• Quote: “Can you genuinely receive good news about them? Can you sit with them in their joy and it not cause resentment?” (32:29)

The Subtlety of Condemnation

• A heart that cannot rejoice with the offender is still under the burden of condemnation, missing the liberating mind of Christ. (33:50)
• Quote: “Your emotions wind up putting a period where God is trying to put a comma.” (25:40)

4. The Psychological Progression: From Wound to Narrative

From Personal Pain to Public Agreement (37:16)

• Hurt, left unchecked, often grows when validated by others. “Validation can feel like healing, but it is just agreement with your version of the pain.” (38:12)
• Hurt calcifies into a community narrative, making release even harder.

The Burden of Haughtiness

• Paul warns against “being wise in your own sight” (43:30)—allowing pain to become your authority, and your sense of hurt to become the final word.

Life with the “Backpack of Offense”

• Williams vividly describes carrying every offense like a backpack—its burden feels normal over time, but others can see its weight. (46:46)
• Quote: “You have built a life around that wound—and Jesus didn’t come just to forgive what happened; He came to heal what stayed.” (48:15)

5. Practical Responses: Premeditated Goodness & Boundaries

Romans 12:17–18—Deciding in Advance (54:33)

• The power of the “pause”—preparing in a season of calm how you will react when offended, instead of letting pain write your policy for you.
• Quote: "If you wait until you feel it, your flesh will answer faster than your faith." (56:02)
• Modern tech makes it easier to shoot off instant reactions; intentional premeditation (“pro-oneo”—pre-deciding your mindset) is vital.

Boundaries & the Limits of Reconciliation

• “If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.” You are responsible for your zone, not theirs (01:01:00).
• Some relationships may not be restored—that’s honest and biblical. You can have peace, even if reconciliation isn’t possible. “Peace that depends on what they do next is not peace, it is a hostage situation.” (01:02:45)
• Quote: “You do not need their apologies to stop being their hostage." (01:04:14)

6. Releasing Vengeance: God’s Role, Not Ours

Romans 12:19–20—Letting Go of the Gavel (01:07:01)

• The instruction to “never avenge yourselves” is rooted in our beloved identity, not our performance.
• True release means we become neither judge nor jury, refusing to dwell and rehearse hurts in our minds (01:09:25).
• Quote: “You have become the judge, the jury, the jailer, and the plaintiff. You cannot hold the gavel and ask God to judge them at the same time.” (01:09:52)
• “Feed your enemy...move your body in the direction your flesh is resisting”—forgiveness is not just spoken, but embodied. (01:15:44)

7. The Example of Christ and Personal Testimony

Rooting Our Response in the Gospel

• Paul’s counsel is a direct echo of Jesus’s words in the Sermon on the Mount—reminding us that every need we have for healing and reconciliation is “in the Book.” (01:19:30)

Williams’s Family Story—the Power of Pardon (01:22:40)

• Williams shares his deeply personal story: writing a pardon letter for his brother serving a life sentence, despite the pain and complexity. “I beg his pardon so that he can be free.”
• Memorable Parallel: “Some of us have been sitting behind a jail cell of offense with the keys in our pocket and refuse to unlock the door.” (01:25:20)
• God, as the supreme example, not only pardons us but invites us to extend the same release—regardless of reciprocation.

8. Final Challenge and Call to Action

• Question for Listeners: “If God can forgive us, why can’t you forgive them? Why can’t you say, ‘I forgive you’? …I will do the work that it takes to heal from this hurt, but I will no longer allow you to hold my life hostage. I will be free." (01:27:30)
• Release the “backpack of offense” and move into true freedom.
• Quote: “Your visceral response—I beg your pardon—that response tells you, and tells me, there’s still work to be done. And today is the beginning of your journey to forgiveness." (01:29:40)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On offense’s subtle power: “Offense is what the pain unaddressed became on the inside of you. And you’ve been protecting it like it still owes you something.” (21:45)
• On boundaries: “You do not need their apologies to stop being their hostage." (01:04:14)
• On Christlike love: “The mind of Christ does not calculate—it inhabits.” (31:45)
• On release: “I beg his pardon so that he can be free. Some of us don’t realize it, but we have been sitting behind a jail cell of offense with the keys in our pocket and refuse to just unlock the door.” (01:25:20)
• On the Gospel: “God hears your tears…because some of us have been in this cage, offense, for too long. You wake up heavy, you go to sleep heavy…God’s like, man, I’m trying to draw you back.” (01:30:10)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:00–04:30 — Welcome, context, title meaning
• 09:45–13:30 — Historical background: Claudius, Roman church split
• 15:50–21:45 — How offense is born and given power
• 22:55–29:30 — Blessing those who hurt you (Romans 12:14)
• 29:30–33:50 — Rejoicing/Weeping with others (Romans 12:15), navigating empathy
• 37:16–41:22 — Community/validation; offense becomes narrative
• 43:30–48:15 — Haughtiness, pride, “backpack of offense”
• 54:33–01:01:00 — Premeditated goodness, pause, writing an emotional policy
• 01:01:00–01:04:14 — Boundaries, responsibility for peace
• 01:07:01–01:15:44 — God’s role as judge, vengeance, behavioral forgiveness
• 01:22:40–01:25:20 — Personal family testimony: parole board, true pardon
• 01:27:30–close — Final challenge: letting go, pursuing true freedom, echoing the Gospel

Conclusion

Lonnell Williams delivers a heartfelt, convicting teaching on overcoming offense—not just as a matter of Christian duty, but as the pathway to true spiritual freedom, modeled by Christ and empowered by the honesty of scripture and community. The call to action is unambiguous: let go of offense, forgive generously, prepare your heart in advance, and live as one truly set free.