by Marilynn Chadwick

"She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come." Proverbs 31:25

One of the things I love most about my husband David is the way he would always encourage our three children to laugh at the very things they were afraid of. He referred to their fears as "fret flies." He used to say that fear and worry attract the devil, just like honey attracts flies. I've never forgotten those words.

I've always been glad David is not a worrier. But that doesn't mean he's unaware of danger. He just doesn't overthink imaginary scenarios. What's more, he doesn't spend needless energy looking back at the "if onlys" or ahead to the "what ifs" of life.

Like any pastor, he's had to deal with all kinds of tragedies and emergencies throughout our years of ministry. But I've seen firsthand how his faith has strengthened him. I've often told him that the greatest gift he has to give others is his faith. And sometimes his laughter! When our daughter was very young, she struggled with various troubling fears. I leaned into David's strengths to help her learn to overcome these early fears by finding ways to laugh.

One evening, our family went to an amusement park. She was especially scared of riding the Ferris wheel. David challenged her to conquer her fear and told her he would ride with her. With Daddy cheering her on, she was overjoyed to finally defeat another "fret fly!"

Every time she would defeat another fear, her courage muscles would grow stronger and stronger. Eventually, she became my child who would fly all over the world by herself and fearlessly tackle all sorts of challenges.

If you are a parent, I would encourage you to be careful about coddling your children's fears. The Bible tells us not to fear over and over again. This is a discipline that must be developed from a young age. Like learning to walk or learning to ride a bike, we all must learn to conquer fear.

David really is right. It is incredibly liberating to laugh in the face of fear. Laughter is a healthy way to lighten up. I wonder if the secret to having such strong faith in the Lord is that we really can laugh at our fears. Like our young daughter battling her fears, we may discover greater joy than we ever thought possible when we conquer our "fret flies!"