by Marilynn Chadwick

"The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down." Proverbs 14:1 NIV

Did you know that women talk more than men? It's a proven fact. The average woman speaks about 20,000 words each day to the average man's 7,000, or nearly three times as many! So if women want to use our words to build our house, we certainly have no shortage of building materials.

As wives, we sometimes forget the weight our words carry. I've discovered that one of the most powerful ways to build up my husband, David, is with my words, both the words I speak to him and the words I speak about him. Careless words can easily tarnish our husband's reputation in the eyes of others.

Proverbs 14:1 reminds us that "the wise woman builds her house," but a foolish one "tears hers down." In the Bible, the term "house" is often synonymous with "family." So when we build up our husbands, we strengthen our family, our "house."

This principle applies to both men and women. The Bible talks about two kinds of words—words of life and words of death. It repeatedly cautions us about the dangers of the tongue and reminds us that our words have great power for good or evil.

We should pause here to consider that God holds us accountable for the words we speak. Think about it. Families and friendships are broken apart by words. Wars are started with words. Our tongue "sets the whole course of one's life on fire and is itself set on fire by hell," according to James 3:6. We are warned that "death and life are in the power of the tongue" (Proverbs 18:21 KJV).

So it naturally follows that our words would be some of our most powerful tools for building up or tearing down our marriages. One of my wise young friends with a very strong marriage sums it up this way: "I try to compliment my husband in front of others when he is present, but also when he is absent. In situations where it is tempting to criticize publicly, I try to say nothing and follow up on the conversation when we are at home in private. Then, I choose my words wisely—and above all, prayerfully.

Think about it. Our words can give life and encouragement. Or they can bring death and discouragement. Which will you choose?

Our Favorite Proverbs: Words of Life, Proverbs 14:1