Podcast
A Thousand Tiny Steps
Hosted by Barb Higgins · EN
This podcast is for people who want to experience personal growth. Finding joy in tragic moments is a difficult task, but by listening to the stories of an ordinary woman who goes through extraordinary experiences, you can learn how to get through anything.
Hear stories from Barb Higgins, the woman who had a baby at 57, lost her daughter to a brain tumor, dealt with addiction, and so much more.
Inside each episode, Barb shares a story from her life and how she got through each tough experience. From lessons learned to how she took her self-care to another level, Barb pulls you into her world of inspiring circumstances and leaves you wondering, how does she do it?
16episodes
Episodes
Newest firstAll episodes
What Does Consent Mean to You?
3d ago00:32:01Tap to summarizeI'm quiet. I freeze. I don't say no. My consent is violated again and again by numerous people in different situations that still follow me today. I did a deep dive on the types of consent, what it actually means, and why the meaning of it gets tricky for people. In this episode, I explore the different types of consent and how those have gone wrong in my life. Key Takeaways: [0:00] Saying the quiet part out loud and sexual assault [4:11] I don't defend myself or set boundaries [5:47] Consent: voluntary, informed, mutual, respect personal boundaries [7:35] Consent can't be given under the influence [9:34] I'm always cleaning up after others [10:40] Expressed consent: an enthusiastic yes [12:07] Implied consent can be dangerous [12:54] Unanimous consent in politics [14:11] My childhood abuse set my foundation for consent [15:37] Consent violations in my friendships [26:31] Molly's death - I didn't listen to my gut, I was just quiet [28:50] What are the rights of marginalized communities? [29:57] How do you give consent? Resources: The Cookie Podcast Episode Connect with Barb: Leave me a message Website Facebook Instagram YouTube The Molly B Foundation
Transcribe →Learning to Break the Silence
1w ago00:31:28Tap to summarizeThe shouting starts, voices overlapping, and I freeze. I stay quiet hoping not to be noticed. Now, I'm having to unlearn that… A thousand tiny steps, right? It's easier to not say anything, to justify the abuse, to defend those that have hurt me, but repeating traumatic situations because it's familiar in my life can't continue forever. This is how I'm taking small steps towards healing. Key Takeaways: [0:00] Giving $13,000 in scholarships [2:25] Cleaning out dance clothes [3:41] People want to be seen and heard [5:33] In conflict, I freeze up and become quiet [7:58] Why do I defend those who have hurt me by hiding? [10:28] Repeating the trauma that happened in my childhood [15:07] Justifying the abuse to make it less painful [16:14] Not standing up for myself when losing my job [17:47] Not speaking up enough in the ER with Molly and taking settlement money [20:01] What trauma bonding actually is and my experience with it [24:06] I'm not perfect, but I've never hurt someone on purpose [26:21] Being told I was complacent in my sexual abuse [29:29] Starting a HYROX training program Resources: Barb Fit Connect with Barb: Leave me a message Website Facebook Instagram YouTube The Molly B Foundation
Transcribe →The Number 13 is Sacred
2w ago00:21:18Tap to summarizeNo description available
Transcribe →Treat Yourself Like your Best Friend
3w ago00:26:39Tap to summarizeI went to Molly's grave, but it's not the same anymore. I know that as time passes, others forget, but I never will. So, as I grapple with that, I reflect on the amazing people I got to see, what I'm planning to do next with the podcast, and just sitting in my grief. Key Takeaways: [0:00] I don't celebrate Mother's Days anymore [2:50] The first Molly WOD not to be during death week [4:54] Visiting Molly's gravestone and seeing Tim and Ricky [7:53] Kenny didn't come visit Molly's grave [9:46] Surround yourself with community in grief [11:42] Keeping connected to the ones who have died [12:54] Your grief does not define you [14:23] Treat yourself like your best friend [16:40] Reflect on how others treat you, reach out, and do not compare yourself [18:25] Count your wins - yes, even the small ones [19:17] Checking in on Gracie and the people who visited Molly's grave [21:11] Finding a sign of Molly in the air [22:44] Season 13 is next and then… who knows? Connect with Barb: Leave me a message Website Facebook Instagram YouTube The Molly B Foundation
Transcribe →Visiting France with Gracie
May 500:40:11Tap to summarizeGrab a baguette or an Oreo Coolatta, and find out what Gracie has been up to for 3 months in France as I recount our family's visit to France to see Gracie. From Gracie making a lot of supportive friends from all over the world to Jack eating all the ice cream he possibly can, and talking about the fact that it's been 10 years since Molly died. Key Takeaways: [0:37] Gracie has lived in France for 3 months [3:05] Public transportation is one of the biggest differences [5:25] Food quality in France is superior to America [7:56] Disneyland Paris is different to Disney World [9:28] Not making a plan, just enjoying Paris at a slow pace [10:38] Notre Dame, the Eiffel Tower, and playing in the park [14:51] Adventure Land, Spider Man, and not having a sense of urgency [18:41] Gracie's friend showed us around Disney [21:00] Jack was very excited to meet Queen Anna [23:25] The Sports Bar is my favorite place to eat [24:58] Gracie's friends, the entertainment industry, and being happy for each other [29:23] Finding a CrossFit gym here has been important for community [31:12] Being 10 years into losing Molly [32:31] Markers of time feel weird [34:11] I've found people who are okay with me talking about my grief [35:44] Shifting to utilizing the loss instead of just missing her all the time [36:25] MollyB camps coming up and try Dunkin for me Connect with Barb: Leave me a message Website Facebook Instagram YouTube The Molly B Foundation
Transcribe →Memories of the Boston Marathon
Apr 2800:23:14Tap to summarizeAs I've come up on the 10th anniversary of Molly's death I look back on how as much as things change, they also stay the same. I was in Europe 10 years ago at this moment and that's where I am now, but this time I'm trying to figure out where do I belong in life and how do I feel like I still have purpose as I age? Key Takeaways: [0:14] My memories of 2016 and going to Europe [2:38] Not going to the Marathon for years - and finally going back now [3:47] Reconnecting with so many lovely people at the Marathon [6:47] The Unicorn Club and commemorating time [8:52] The Marathon has changed and change is hard [14:09] How do I do something and feel like I still matter? [19:10] What unicorns represent Resources: Lady Justice and the Sisterhood of the Crones Connect with Barb: Leave me a message Website Facebook Instagram YouTube The Molly B Foundation
Transcribe →Lady Justice and the Sisterhood of the Crones with author Jennifer Speidel
Apr 2100:50:45Tap to summarizeJennifer Speidel, my long time friend and now author, wrote a book called Lady Justice and the Sisterhood of the Crones. A story of a corrupt world where women are silenced and it's up to Mavon and Buluku to get justice, gain wisdom, and rise to their true power. Key Takeaways: [0:39] Why I decided to write my first book: womanhood and getting older [4:20] I started the book by writing the chapter titles and developing characters [6:05] Crones in the book and what it represents in real life [12:07] The writing and editing process [16:18] Giving the book a genre [20:32] Being a crone is not supposed to be a bad thing [25:07] How I found a publisher and the marketing I have to do [30:11] Book signings coming up [31:31] My next book: The Cursed Life of Goldilocks [34:05] Deciding to do an audiobook version or not [37:11] Reading two excerpts from the book [44:35] Taking inspiration from sexism in real life and putting it on the page Resources: Lady Justice and the Sisterhood of the Crones The Testaments Book The Change Book The Woman of Wild Hill Book When Women were Dragons Book The Goddess Project Connect with Barb: Leave me a message Website Facebook Instagram YouTube The Molly B Foundation
Transcribe →Gracie's in France!
Apr 1400:55:11Tap to summarizeGracie has been living in France and is here to tell us all what it's been like! From navigating bonjour correctly to making friends with people from all over the world, and just being in your 20s navigating new experiences and a whole lotta change. Key Takeaways: [0:44] I've been working for Disney in France for a 2 months and here's what's different [6:22] The pastries are to die for, but the food is bland [12:14] Portion sizes are definitely smaller [14:12] Disney World Orlando vs Disney Land Paris [17:59] The French go on strike a lot [19:52] Work life balance in France is a culture shock [21:11] Experience trying to speak French and people's reactions [27:26] How Disney Land Paris has similar, but also different buildings and attractions [36:43] Change is scary, but I made the leap [43:27] Being in this life stage where I'm figuring out who my people are [46:55] What it's been like making friends and how my housing has been [52:08] I make these little vlogs of what I do in France Connect with Barb: Leave me a message Website Facebook Instagram YouTube The Molly B Foundation
Transcribe →Molly's Been Dead for 10 Years
Apr 700:15:00Tap to summarizeMy mom is moving into what has been my office for years, another Molly birthday went by without her here, I'm exhausted from a lack of support, and I'm trying to find myself through it all. So if you also don't know what you're doing? Hi, I'm Barb! Join the club. Key Takeaways: [0:00] I bought my house 26 years ago [2:17] We're moving my mom into my old office and it's a lotta work [4:20] Molly's been dead for 10 years [5:26] There's a shift in the air [7:45] These past 18 months I've had to put myself aside for others [9:38] What's next for the podcast [11:09] Trying to find clarity in who I am or why I'm here [12:01] Movie recommendations Resources: The Best You Can The Fundamentals of Caring The Madison Connect with Barb: Leave me a message Website Facebook Instagram YouTube The Molly B Foundation
Transcribe →Not Ready to Step Aside
Mar 3100:04:03Tap to summarizeI've been thinking a lot about aging… and purpose… and what it means to still matter. This is where I'm at right now. Connect with me: Newsletter Leave a message Transcript: This is a man with an incredibly high IQ who helped thousands of children in his years as an educator. When I called him up to thank him, he cried, and he said, it's just so nice to feel needed. My good friend David, it's like he's fighting an uphill battle all the time. And, and he remembers that aspect of himself. He is definitely still wanting to contribute to society. He was super helpful with me last week on a school board issue, and so this hurts me, and makes me sad and I'm surrounded by it. I'm now caring for my mother. So I have an older person for whom I have great love, that lives with me. And, and the more I watch her, the more I see where she's, you know, beginning the long walk home, right? Where she's struggling physically, it's a reminder that there's a lot she just can't do by herself. Then I look at Kenny, who's 70, he'll be 71 in September, and all of the myriad health issues he's had, and I worry, am I expecting too much of him? I wake up at night and I'm worried. I have a body that's already showing signs that it isn't what it used to be. I'm 62. I'll be 63 in July. So I'm clearly at a place in life, where I have far less ahead of me than behind me. I just need, support, in my role as an aging human with a little boy and a caretaker to people who are aging much faster than I am. I know on the school board. I'm just another person who doesn't wanna let go of the past. I should move on and let the people 20 years younger than me take over and acknowledgement that I'm not ready to be here. I'm not ready to step aside, nor should I. I have two really good friends from high school. They just don't ever stop remaining connected to their families and my family, we connect, but not at all like these families do. When I wake up in the middle of the night because it's a lot of self-reflection to have I lived a good life? Am I ready to be where I am? You know, if I had not had Jack, what would I be doing? And, I never once didn't think about my age when it came to having Jack, but that was such, that was such a spiritually, emotionally driven time and decision that I know I was supposed to do, that I feel that Jack is my purpose and so he'll help me stay healthy physically and mentally and emotionally and all that - his existence, not him. What am I satisfied with and what do I regret? And of course, someone like me is going to constantly focus on the regret, on the regrets. All the races I lost, all the people I hurt, all the things I failed at, rather than making a list of the things that I accomplished. If I had not had the life I had, would my now time be different? I look at my mother and how, somehow she's living here and like it or not, I'm probably gonna have to rearrange a lot of my house to accommodate her needs sooner than later. She fell yesterday and, you know, banged up her ankle and her skin just cuts open. The skin just gets so thin. I hate when she falls, it scared the crap outta me. The sound of her voice when she was calling for me, she was scared. It reminded me of when we had to walk down Mount Madison in the pitch black when I was seven. She had a tone in her voice that had fear in it. It scared the crap outta me. And I heard it yesterday. Here I am: still wanting to set goals, still wanna go to the CrossFit games. Still want a million people to buy Molly's book. You know, I still want so many things, like I matter, like I'm contributing. I'm not ready to not contribute. I'm at an age where it might be time for me to rethink about what I want. Not give up, not let go, just shift and recreate and see what the world has to offer. I'm pondering my life as somebody old enough to collect social security - on one level, but young enough at heart and body and mind to kick ass in a CrossFit gym on a pretty regular basis. So you know, who am I and why am I here? {OUTRO} I sit out here on my porch a lot and I think about all of this. Usually, it just turns into an episode. But if you wanna sit with me a little longer, I write some extra thoughts down and they end up in my newsletter. Credits: Free music by OlexandrMusic Download Free Music Soundcloud Youtube Official
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