Podcast Summary: Aaron Mahnke's Cabinet of Curiosities

Episode: The Director

Date: August 28, 2025
Host: Aaron Mahnke

Overview

This episode of Cabinet of Curiosities explores two remarkably curious tales: the rise and fall of China's first emperor, Qin Shi Huang, and the bizarre, enduring career of Hollywood’s most prolific but nonexistent director—Alan Smithee. Both stories reveal fascinating truths about legacy, power, and reputation, filtered through Mahnke’s signature blend of intrigue and historical wit.

Segment 1: The First Emperor of China (00:50 – 06:20)

Key Points

• Origins and Ruthlessness

  • Qin Shi Huang (Xi Wandi), China’s first emperor, ascended to the throne of Qin at age 13 in 247 BC.
  • His childhood was marked by familial betrayal—his chief advisor (possibly his father) and mother attempted a coup.
    • “His advisor father killed himself, and his mother was imprisoned. This whole experience obviously traumatized Xi Wandi.” (02:25)
  • He became devoted to legalism—the belief that humans are inherently selfish and must be tightly controlled.

• Unification and Rule

  • Abandoned chivalrous battle customs—fought ruthlessly to conquer all seven kingdoms, uniting China by 221 BC.
  • Instituted efficient, harsh central governance, commissioning massive construction projects—including the Great Wall’s precursor.

• Paranoia and Suppression

  • Grew increasingly paranoid, cracking down on dissent and burning historical texts.
  • Survived several assassination attempts, obsessed over mortality.

• Quest for Immortality and Death

  • Chased immortality with bizarre “medicinal” concoctions (including mercury)—likely hastening his death in 211 BC.
    • “The irony is that in his quest for immortality, he may have cut his life short.” (05:07)
  • After his death, servants concealed it for weeks, hiding his body with baskets of fish to mask the odor.

• Dynastic Aftermath

  • Dynasty collapsed within 15 years, replaced by the more open-minded Han Dynasty.
    • “It’s curious that even though it was the Qin Dynasty that united China, it was the Han Dynasty that actually made its people see themselves as one.” (06:13)

Notable Quotes & Moments

• “When most leaders die, they are treated to a state funeral. But when the first emperor died, his people did something very curious with the body.” (01:23)
• “Why spend his life trusting greedy kings to follow codes of honor when he could just eliminate those kings entirely?” (03:04)
• “It bothered him that there were those in the kingdom who would speak out against his rule...so he instigated a brutal crackdown.” (04:08)

Segment 2: The Tale of Alan Smithee, the Director Who Never Was (07:25 – 12:32)

Key Points

• Birth of a Myth

  • In late 1960s Hollywood—an era glorifying auteur directors—‘Alan Smithee’ entered the scene during the production of Death of a Gunfighter (1969).
  • The original director was fired mid-production, and “Alan Smithee” credited as director after no real filmmaker wanted their name attached.

• A Prolific and Inconsistent Career

  • Smithee “directed” in nearly all genres: westerns, sci-fi, action, drama—even TV animation (Tiny Toons), and TV episodes (MacGyver).
  • Despite the extensive “career,” he never gave interviews, avoided public appearances, and had no discernible style.
    • “While other directors built public personas, Allen stayed firmly behind the camera.” (09:03)

• The Truth Revealed

  • Alan Smithee did not exist—he was a pseudonym created by the Directors Guild of America in 1968.
  • Used whenever real directors disowned films that were mangled beyond recognition.
    • “Alan Smithee was a pseudonym...used whenever a director wanted to disown a film they were making.” (10:07)

• The Notorious Legacy

  • Smithee’s credits became synonymous with projects that had spiraled out of the director’s control.
    • “His IMDb page is a graveyard of Hollywood failures.” (11:22)
  • The 1997 movie Burn Hollywood Burn lampooned Smithee, winning five Razzies, yet the legend persisted.

• Takeaway

  • For someone who never existed, Alan Smithee demonstrates how surviving—not shining—can define a lasting, if infamous, career.
    • “Maybe that’s the real secret to surviving in the film industry.” (12:15)

Notable Quotes & Moments

• ”Before this film, almost no one in Hollywood knew the name Alan Smithee. But now the whole town would be watching his career.” (08:07)
• “The strangest thing about his career wasn’t just the number of duds. It was how wildly inconsistent his movies were.” (10:41)
• “No ego, no drama, no vision, and always available.” (12:27)

Episode Highlights & Memorable Moments

• Unexpected Parallels
  Both tales, while vastly different in scope, underscore how power and reputation can be carefully built—or carelessly disowned—leading to unexpected legacies.
• Signature Mahnke Tone
  With sly, sly humor and a keen eye for historical oddities, Mahnke brings these “curiosities” to vivid life, inviting listeners to find wonder in the overlooked and the strange.

Timestamps for Key Segments

• The First Emperor of China – 00:50 to 06:20
• The Alan Smithee Story – 07:25 to 12:32

Final Thoughts

This episode deftly illuminates how history, legend, and modern myth intertwine: some who leave their mark try desperately to control their reputation, while others (or rather, one fabrication) simply end up attached to works when no one wants the credit. As Mahnke concludes, sometimes “no ego, no drama, no vision, and always available” is the real secret to a lasting legacy—at least in Hollywood’s curious Cabinet.