How my girlfriend left a $150k corporate job to live life on her terms w/ Nathalia Lopez

Summary

Action Academy Podcast
Episode: How My Girlfriend Left a $150k Corporate Job to Live Life on Her Terms w/ Nathalia Lopez
Date: May 20, 2026
Host: Brian Luebben
Guest: Nathalia Lopez

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Episode Overview

This episode dives deep into the journey of Nathalia Lopez, who walked away from a prestigious and high-paying ($150k) corporate job to intentionally create a life on her terms. Host Brian Luebben (her boyfriend) and Nathalia candidly discuss the emotional, practical, financial, and relational parts of her transition from corporate executive to entrepreneur, partner, and soon-to-be mother. Topics include redefining identity, navigating societal expectations, crafting a shared vision, and practical steps to replacing (and surpassing) income through entrepreneurship.
Tone: Vulnerable, raw, motivational, and occasionally humorous.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Emptiness of Traditional Success

[00:13–08:43]

• Nathalia’s corporate background:
  • Grew up in South Texas/Mexico in an entrepreneurial family but pursued her own career in legal/board governance, rising to C-suite influence in a billion-dollar energy company.
• On paper “made it,” but unhappy:
  • “I had this title. I did that right. I made it. I became something. And I still felt so empty.” – Nathalia [00:13]
  • She realized she wanted to be a wife and mother, but also had personal and career ambitions, and felt these identities were in conflict.

Notable Quote:

“The most toxic relationship I ever had was with my work.” – Nathalia [00:23]

• Looking up the ladder:

  • Despite professional achievements, Nathalia didn’t see anyone in top positions whose life she wanted to emulate.
  • “There is nobody in here that I would trade lives with for a day.” – Nathalia [07:36]

• Corporate golden handcuffs:

  • The lure of pensions, benefits, and “security” keeps so many stuck.
  • Her entrepreneurial family reminded her: you’re still an employee, still replaceable.

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2. Why Most People Don’t Leave—And Why Nathalia Did

[08:43–16:31]

• Family influence:

  • Saw entrepreneurial freedom and was encouraged by parents to build her own thing.
  • “At the end of the day, you're an employee, like it's not yours . . . if you want to do this, open your own firm, be your own consultant.”

• Corporate Complacency:

  • “You get suckered into it,” lured by stability, pensions, and titles—even as you lose freedom.

Turning Point:

• Moving from prestige into action—she switched jobs, seeking remote work for more freedom (even with a $50k pay cut), but the new company also reverted to in-person, reigniting her desire to escape.

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3. Building a Delusional, “Delulu” Vision

[13:40–18:33]

• “Delulu” Manifestation:
  • “You have to be so delusional and believe in your delusions in order for it to come true.” – Nathalia [00:32, 15:04]
  • Nathalia’s story: she spoke “delusional” dreams into existence (“What if my husband wants to go to Napa for the weekend?”), which have since come true.
• Courage to leap:
  • “Saying things out loud” and acting despite perceived impracticality led to changed reality.

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4. The Breaking Point & Social Media Fallout

[18:33–24:07]

• Viral video as catalyst:
  • Social posts about leaving work and being a stay-at-home wife/mom, and real estate professional status went viral.
  • Her employer confronted her about the videos, gave her a chance to remove content, but this push actually gave her the perfect out.
• Corporate Double Standard:
  • Most male execs’ wives were stay-at-home, but Nathalia, as a woman, found she was not allowed/deserving to articulate the same desire.

“Every man that I work with here that I respect . . . all their wives are stay at home wives and moms but not—you can’t do that. That’s corporate for you. That’s the reality.” – Nathalia [23:07]

• “Band-aid over a bullet hole”:
  • Swapping one stressful job for another didn’t bring fulfillment.

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5. The Mindset Shift: From Independence to Interdependence

[25:09–34:00]

• Misconception:
  • The idea that leaving corporate is about men controlling women or stripping independence.
  • “The reality is that you have given me me back without me realizing.” – Nathalia [25:43]
  • “It’s not taking your independence away, it’s giving you all the optionality in the world.” – Brian [25:09]
• Crying on the show: An emotional, vulnerable admission from Nathalia about identity and rediscovering herself [26:15].

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6. Permission to Receive & Gender Roles

[28:11–33:51]

• Christina Moffett’s pivotal question:
  • “How do you show yourself you love yourself?”—Nathalia says, “I provide for myself.”
  • Christina’s challenge: “If you providing for yourself is your ultimate self-love, why aren’t you allowing your soulmate to love you that way?”
  • This concept flipped her paradigm and allowed her to accept being cared for and letting go of her “hyper-independence.”

Notable Quote:

“You want to prepare your daughter for the worst so she’s never reliant on a bad man . . . but that advice puts shackles on them for when they meet a good man.” – Brian [31:11]

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7. The Practical Exit: The Numbers Behind Leaving

[33:51–38:58]

• The “Audit” Saturday Night:

  • Brian has Nathalia track her three-month expenses in detail.
  • She’s shocked by her total ($4k/month), feels guilt, but this reality gives Brian the hard numbers needed to reverse-engineer the freedom plan.

• Creating the safety net:

  • They determine exactly how much income the new lifestyle requires, aiming for “bougie on a budget”—not taking things away, but strategizing how to fund them.

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8. The Couples Vision Retreat: Reverse-Engineering Dreams

[39:19–47:51]

• Vivid Vision Retreat Exercise:

  • Both fill out 50-question “vision documents” for life in 3 years: home, travel, finances, communication, arguments, children, etc.
  • Use giant sticky notes—physically mapping categories (health, family, wedding, travel) around their Airbnb.
  • Write the vision first, then attach dollar amounts (e.g., $42k/month mortgage on dream house, specific cars, full wellness staff, etc.).

• Reverse Engineering:

  • Vision → Price tag → Income needed → Business goals.
  • “What a lot of you guys are doing is you’re showing your partner these spreadsheets and financial projections and decimals… You care about the vision, and what that dollar is going to produce for you.” – Brian [50:14]
  • Realization: Their current business needs to 3x in three years—this clarity unites them in purpose.

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9. The Path to Financial Freedom (and the Role of Real Estate Professional Status)

[50:19–54:46]

• Impossible on W2:

  • Realization: “No way on a W2 income to have that dream life. You cannot.” – Nathalia [50:34]
  • “Your working harder is going to get your boss another Ferrari.” – Brian [51:01]

• Owner’s leverage:

  • Entrepreneurship and real estate investment are the path to both financial and lifestyle freedom.

• Tax strategy:

  • Brian explains the “real estate professional” designation and using cost segregation to create massive tax advantages, effectively paying for their ideal life legally.

“By me being a real estate professional and not working, that amount that we're saving a year on taxes is the equivalent of how much we spend... the life pays for itself. It's girl math.” – Nathalia [54:29]

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10. The Power of Aligned Growth: Working as a Team

[54:46–56:29]

• Growing together:
  • If they’d remained on separate tracks (corporate + entrepreneurship), their growth would eventually diverge.
  • “Why am I busting myself making someone else rich when I could be alongside you, making us successful?” – Nathalia

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11. Manifesting & Attracting the Aligned Partner

[56:29–65:06]

• Vision for partnership:

  • Both wrote out, in detail, what they wanted in a soulmate—down to family, values, and background.
  • Fate’s alignment: Both took personal growth “off-seasons” before meeting.
  • “You have to become the kind of person who effortlessly attracts your dream partner.” – Brian [63:28]

• Staying delusional (delulu):

  • “You can have it all. But you need to become it first.” – Nathalia [65:06]

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12. Challenging Misconceptions & Owning the New Identity

[66:16–68:34]

• Not losing independence—discovering self:
  • “You gave me me back. What I considered 'me' was the person checking off career accomplishments. Now, I’m rediscovering myself—my joy, my community, my real identity, and my dreams.” – Nathalia [67:01]

Closing Wisdom:

• “The fastest way to tell who’s going to be rich or not is who you’re married to. They’re either an amplifier or an anchor.” – Brian [66:16]
• “Being with the right man and out of the wrong environment lets you finally calm your nervous system and bloom.” – Nathalia [67:01]

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Most Memorable Quotes

• “You have to be so delusional and believe in your delusions in order for it to come true.” – Nathalia [00:32, 15:04]
• “The most toxic relationship I ever had was with my work.” – Nathalia [00:23]
• “Let’s get everyone rich as fast as possible so that they can understand it's not the answer to happiness.” – Brian [00:19, 06:37]
• “Every man that I work with here that I respect... all their wives are stay-at-home wives and moms. But not—you can’t do that. That's corporate for you. That’s the reality.” – Nathalia [23:07]
• “It’s not taking your independence away, it’s giving you all the optionality in the world.” – Brian [25:09]
• “If you providing for yourself is the ultimate way you love yourself—why aren't you allowing your partner to love you that way?” – (from Christina Moffett) [30:08]
• “You can have it all. But you need to become it first.” – Nathalia [65:06]
• “They're either an amplifier or they're an anchor.” – Brian [66:16]
• “You gave me me back.” – Nathalia [67:01]

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• [00:13] — Emptiness and the corporate success trap
• [03:39] — Balancing familial and personal ambition
• [06:22] — No one to emulate in upper corporate
• [13:40/15:04] — The “delulu” approach and manifestation
• [18:33–24:07] — Leaving corporate: viral video and the double standard
• [25:09] — Redefining gender roles and independence
• [28:11–33:51] — The transformative conversation with Christina Moffett
• [34:00–38:58] — Practical budgeting for lifestyle change
• [39:19–47:51] — Vision retreat: aligning as a couple, reverse engineering
• [50:34] — Why W2 can’t finance the dream life
• [54:29] — Real estate pro status and “girl math”
• [56:29–65:06] — Becoming the partner to attract the partner
• [67:01] — Reclaiming self post-corporate
• [68:34] — Final encouragement, redefining “having it all”

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Final Thoughts

This episode is a roadmap for high performers—especially women—in corporate jobs who feel trapped by golden handcuffs and societal pressure. It shows the raw emotional journey, practical tools, and necessary mindset shifts to transform your career, relationship, and life vision. It demystifies “having it all” and underlines that the process requires courage, honest self-inquiry, extreme clarity, and a commitment to growing both as individuals and together.

Whether you’re single, partnered, or somewhere in between, you’ll find actionable inspiration, validation, and a wealth of lived wisdom here.

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Find Nathalia:

Instagram: @natalialopez

Find Brian:

Instagram: @brianluebben
Action Academy Podcast

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“Replace the job you hate with a life you love.”

Transcript

[A]

We need to cut this part.

[B]

No, this is the good stuff. Welcome to podcasting, baby. I think the most masculine thing a man can do today is get their freaking wife or girlfriend out of corporate America.

[A]

I had this title. I did that right. I made it. I became something. And I still felt so empty.

[B]

Let's get everyone rich as fast as possible so that they can understand it's not the answer to happiness.

[A]

The most toxic relationship I ever had was with my work.

[B]

I have 3x my net worth. We have about doubled our take home income. I've lost 30 pounds of fat.

[A]

You have to be so delusional and believe in your delusions in order for it to come true.

[B]

We have a treat for you guys today. We have quite possibly the most special guest that I've ever interviewed on Action Academy podcast out of over a thousand episodes, and that is my lovely, wonderful girlfriend, Natalia. And I just want to say for people listening and for people watching, I was single for over three years. I went through a long relationship prior to this, had a breakup, and I started questioning, is my person actually out there for me? You know, is it worth the wait? Is it worth doing all the things that we're going to talk about today in the podcast that got me prepped to date you? And the answer is yes. So since knowing Nat here, who we're gonna you guys are gonna get to know, I have 3x my net worth. We have about doubled our take home income. I've lost 30 pounds of fat. I now have six pack abs. And if you guys are watching this video and you can see the fit that I'm wearing, she's also my personal stylist. So what do you call it? The girlfriend touch?

[A]

The. Yeah, it's the girlfriend.

[B]

It's the girlfriend touch. So if you guys are wanting to know how to attract your perfect partner into your life, this is the episode for you. If you want to learn how to work better with your significant other in your business, this episode's for you. If you want to learn just how to communicate in general, this episode is for you. So, Nat, welcome to the Action Academy podcast, baby.

[A]

Hi.

[B]

Hi. So this is your first ever podcast. Tell the people about you. So they've seen you through the videos. You know, a lot of our friends are watching that know you personally already, but you know, share who you are for the audience and then we'll get rocking.

[A]

Awesome. So, hi, my name is Natalia Lopez. I am originally from Matamoros de Malipas, Mexico. Born in Brownsville, Texas. So originally from South Texas as well, and I feel like a lot of the times when I say that people are like, how did you live in both places? Well, I grew up in Matamoros, and I went to schools in Brownsville, Texas. And you know, down there in South Texas, that's pretty common. It's pretty normal to do something like that. So I come from a very entrepreneurial household, amazing parents. I have three other siblings. We're a family of six. And once I graduated from high school, I knew that I wanted to move right, to go somewhere and get out of my hometown. Like, that was immediate. So I went to the University of Texas at San Antonio, and then San Antonio just felt like home. So I started building a career around, like, the legal. Legal field. Legal and board governance. And so, yeah, that's. It's a little bit about where I'm from.

[B]

Yeah. And so from the very beginning, you had this mixture of entrepreneurship, fourth generation family, you know, running family business with your dad, your grandfather, your great grandfather. But you also had this other desire in the back of your mind, which was to be a mom. And so how have you kind of balanced those two conflicting kind of energies as you've gone through your journey here?

[A]

So I think it's very interesting because growing up, right, I am the eldest daughter, so my dad really wanted to instill in me that work ethic, that grind, like, build something for yourself. And so I did that. And so I built this entire career. And that kind of took a hold of my identity. But I had a very honest conversation with myself that it was like, that wasn't fulfilling me. And so on paper, right? And to everyone, it was like, oh, my gosh, you should be so proud of your, you know, your success and your degrees and this or that. But I just didn't feel fulfilled. And I realized one day a friend of mine had asked me, like, would you throw everything away to be a wife and a mom? And immediately I said, yes.

[B]

Why do you think that there's such a big issue with that today? Like, why do you think that when you say, you know, I want to be a wife and a mom, but I also want to be a badass. I also have goals. I also want to have, maintain my individuality. I also want to do stuff like, why. Why do you think women today, like, don't think that you can have it all? Why does it have to be either or?

[A]

Oh, that's. That's a very tough question. I know this is. Everyone has different response for that, so let's start with that. But for me, I think the reason I struggled with that was because it's two versions of me that were like, conflicting each other. Right.

[B]

Like the masculine and feminine.

[A]

A hundred percent. That's the best way to put it. So it was like my masculine, which was very ambitious, driven. I saw success or kind of like accomplishments by how fast I was growing and how much I was producing and like the career that I was kind of establishing for myself and accomplishing those goals, which required 10, 12 hour work days. Right. Running an entire division by myself. Like, I felt that that was optimal and that's how I was kind of defining myself in my role. And I was just driven. Right. So, okay, great. Another board meeting accomplished. Cool. Another committee meeting accomplished. Awesome.

[B]

Can you tell them a little bit more about that too? Because you were directly reporting to the CEO of a, like, multibillion dollar corporation. So tell them a little bit more about that. About, like, your degree of, like, influence here. It's insane.

[A]

Yeah. So I was in legal and board governance for an energy company. And so I was dealing with the C suite, which involves the CEO and our board members. And so the best way to put it is kind of being like the middle person between the two. So I was responsible for all board meetings, all committee meetings. And it was just. It was a lot. And it was. It's the largest municipally owned utility company in the nation. Right. Believe it or not. So it's. Yeah, it's a very, like. It's as corporate as it gets and it's as prestige. Right. As you would think. As it gets. But that's what it was. It's like I had this title. I did that. Right. I made it. I became something. And I still felt so empty and similar to you. Right. And what we've talked about is I was single for over three and a half years.

[B]

Yeah. And same exact time, same frame as me.

[A]

Yeah. That's the crazy part about our story, but it's that it's. I. I did it and I accomplished it and it was everything but I felt so empty and it just wasn't it.

[B]

It's kind of funny where the I always use the advice of, let's get everyone rich as fast as possible so they can understand it's not the answer to happiness.

[A]

Oh, I like that.

[B]

And it's kind of the same thing in corporate, you know, because I had the same thing for people that are tuning in for the first time. I was number eight out of 5,079 sales reps. They were grooming me to be manager, to be vp. And they had me shadow my vp. And that was the first time that I saw his career and saw how his work week went and his work day. And I was like, wow, dude, you have less freedom and you have less of a life than I do. So I know that you have wonderful things to say about, like, the, the guys that you worked with over at the power company prior. But, you know, for somebody listening, like, you worked with the people, like men that were at the ultimate level of success, like the pinnacle of success.

[A]

Men and women.

[B]

Yeah, men and women. Yes. And so when you looked at their lives, what were their lives?

[A]

They were. Let's also think about this, right? They were a lot older, too.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

They have this.

[B]

Their entire careers.

[A]

Entire careers, Right. They're like late 40s, early 50s, late 50s. Right. So they're already there. They already had the kids, they already had the marriages, they already had the divorces. They already had the lack of relationships with their kids. They already had all of that. So for me, another big part of it was I looked around and I saw, like, there is nobody in here that I would trade lives with for a day. There is nobody in here that I really wanted to kind of like, step into or kind of like, oh, I really like your career and what you're doing, and I want to be the next you. It never felt aligned. And have you ever been in a room where, like, people tell you, like, you're like, you're just. You're meant for more, like you're going to be more. That was the common consensus every single time. Whenever I was around my co workers or like, other VPs, right. Or other directors, it's like they knew I was going to be something. They would always tell me that, but I was. I don't know, I felt kind of like, okay, well, I'm growing in this, you know, field in this department, and we'll see what's next. We'll see what's next. Until I'm telling you, I had a really hard conversation with myself that I'm like, that's not what I want.

[B]

Why do you think that people have this thought in this moment that you're talking about? I did, too, where you say, enough is enough. I don't want to go down this path. And then they see the other path to the right, but they don't take it. But you did. Why?

[A]

Well, so there's two parts to that also. We have to. Something to keep in mind, right, is I come from an entrepreneurial household. So growing up, I saw my you know, my dad going off to work and everything. And it's his company, my grandfather did the same thing. And then as you graduate from college and everything, my brothers decided to go back home and work in the family business. And I started seeing like all like the freedoms that they had, right? And all like the luxuries. And I would see how much my dad would work too. And ultimately my mom, like my parents always say this, my dad was like the head of the household. My mom was the neck. Can't move your head without the neck, right? So seeing that and I don't know why, to me part of it was like, well, I want to build my own career and build my own success and no one can tell me that it's oh, because your parents gave you that or you're only successful because yeah,

[B]

no, like that, a whole bag of cheese, the whole bag of Fritos on your shoulder.

[A]

I was like, no, like I'm going to build something for myself. So I had always seen that and been purviewed to that and had witnessed it, but I was like, no. And I was, I wanted to kind of prove something to myself and say, like, no, I'm going to do it this way or I'm going to be more successful or more something. But you fall into the corporate trap and world and the reality is, and this is again conversation I have, my parents are like, at the end of the day, you're an employee, like it's not yours in the day, you're replaceable, company's not yours. And their biggest thing to me was if you want to do this or you want to be eventually like a business consultant or this or that, open your own firm, be your own consultant, like open your own practice, but it's your business. And that is something that my parents kept trying to like push to me and push to me and push to me and I just kept saying no. And so to backtrack a little bit. The reason I started working, so I went off to college, right? But I was, I've been working since I was like 15, 16 years old. And I, I always liked to work, right? I liked earning my money and having my little pocket money and stuff. And so I started working, took it a little bit more seriously and becoming a full time employee in college because I needed health insurance, right? So then you start thinking about, okay, like I, you know, the benefits, right? And that's kind of how corporate keeps you. Then when I started working for this energy company, it's like, oh, now we have a Pension. Oh, okay. Now I'm going to be here and I'm going to work here and I'm going to stay here because I'm going to grow my pension and the benefits. So you get suckered into it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then again, Right. It was funny because I go to my parents and I'm having this conversation and you know, my dad and like his other entrepreneurial friends, when they ask me like, oh, how's it going? You know, where you're at and stuff,

[B]

and I'm like, oh, working 80 hours a week, by the way. Yeah, they're asking that because they were concerned about. They were, they're like, are you. They were saying, mia, are you okay? Sort of. Yes.

[A]

Now that you're saying that, I think you're right. They were asking me like, hey, how's it going? Like, are you okay? Because I'm like, my eyes twitching like, you know, I'll defend, like I'm, I don't know, dehydrated or something, but I never thought about it like that. You're absolutely right. They're checking in on me for. Out of concern. It was one of those things that again started to realize because I was looking at them and I knew how successful they were. And I'm like, they're not relying on a pension, they're not relying on health insurance, they're not relying on any of that stuff. They're making way more like that is the most irrelevant thing to them is their, their plans and their systems and the, the investments that they have made with their companies and their growth. They're like, well, I don't need a pension, I don't rely on that. They don't rely on a 401k. I was like, I want to get there, I want to be that. So then I have that drive. Right. And so that's, by the way, what led me to leave that career and jump into commercial insurance.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So we can get into that.

[B]

Yeah. Well, so I was about to say. So now for people that are listening and watching, so that's your corporate background. And now as we record this today, you are, you're a free bird, you know, like you're spreading your wings to fly. So what are we, like a month out today?

[A]

Almost?

[B]

Yeah, about a month out of corporate America. So we got you out. And so now for people listening, like, now Nat and I are working together as we scale our companies to nine figure valuation. Travel around the world, where, what, 12 days out from traveling, Europe for the summer.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

And you'd always had that dream, too, of traveling Europe.

[A]

So.

[B]

So it's kind of funny how, like, you have these, like, the dream which is, I want to be Dulu and I want to travel, and then you kind of get like, hammered into reality. So, like, tell them about those dreams that you had.

[A]

So. And again to that. It's. You work so hard, and they, you know, you get more money, start making more in your income and this or that. And I started realizing, well, all I'm doing is making more money. So instead of spending, like, two weeks of year, two weeks out of the year, going out to, like, the beach, right? Or some, like, local vacation, now I can afford two weeks a year to go to Japan. I can afford to go to Spain, but It's really just 14 days.

[B]

It's just still two weeks.

[A]

Still two weeks. Yeah, it's still two weeks. So it doesn't matter. All you could do is afford to go to a nicer spot.

[B]

I didn't even think about that.

[A]

So I'm like, what am I doing? And I used to have the most, like, Delulu delusional things that I would say. Even down to me meeting my partner. I would say the most delusional things that I wanted in a man and my friends. And, you know, everyone's like, okay, you know, that kind of. Let's calm down a little bit. Calm down. And I'm like, I don't know. And, you know, I used to say, like, I don't feel like, what if my husband wants me to go to Napa Valley for the weekend? What am I supposed to do, not go? And then we ended up going to Napa Valley without you even knowing that, by the way.

[B]

I didn't know that. Yeah.

[A]

But I would say the most delusional things. And I remember sitting in my office, and one of my coworkers came in, and I just looked at her, and she's like, like, what are you doing? What are you up to? And I'm working. And I'm like, how much longer do I have to do this? And she started laughing. You know, she was older than me, too. And she's like, what are you talking about? I'm like, like, I'm telling you, I would say the most delusional, funny, like, oh, I'm kidding. Not really. Kind of comments that would make everybody laugh. And now I'm living that. Which is the craziest part, which I've had so many co workers from my. From both past previous careers that have come forward to me, like, through Instagram or have Texted me and are like, nat, everything you used to say came true.

[B]

Everything.

[A]

Everything.

[B]

What do you, what do you say? What's the phrase you use? Duluth. Truly.

[A]

It's true, Lulu. I saw it on like a meme or like a real or something and I started applying that to my. And I, I'm the biggest advocate for that now. I'm like, you have to be so delusional and believe in your delusions in order for it to come true.

[B]

I 100% agree. So now we are in. So when you and I started dating, which we'll, we'll talk about how we met and everything in a second for the audience. But when you and I started dating, you had just left that day. So crazy wacky coincidence that you and I meet on the first date. I remember that before we even had, we even met. Yeah, we met. And then immediately after, you're like, yeah, I'm thinking about, I'm gonna quit my job now and go to this new career. Because they promise fully remote.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And so that aligned with your, your dream of traveling around. And so I don't think either one of us want to talk bad about the company. It was still like a fine experience. But you were promised remote work. It became more corporate in person work. Who can relate to that, right? You get sold the dream direction of the company and then it is what it is. And then you go all the way to the end, to your breaking point, and you're finally about to get out of corporate and we start posting videos, talking about this and about what you want, and you're like, well, you know, what if we could travel and I could be a wife and a mom and stay at home and all of this stuff and you have a conversation with some, some folks, that's your job. What was that conversation?

[A]

So to backtrack a little bit about that to your point, on the day that we met, before we had even met, I accepted a new job opportunity doing commercial insurance, right? Because again, I thought, if I'm going to be working 80, 90 hour weeks at a, you know, strict salary, might as well work 80, 90 hour weeks with uncapped commission. That's where my mind, that's where my mind, my brain, my thought process was going. So that's what I did. And to anyone listening, just know that going from a super high stressed corporate career to another version of that, at the end of the day is, is the same thing, is not going to be the answer to your problems. It's not the answer to the lack of fulfillment that you're feeling in your heart, right. It's. It's not the answer.

[B]

It's a band aid over a bullet hole.

[A]

Yeah, it is. And at the end of the day, going back to what I wanted, which is I love traveling. Like, I am the friend in my friend group. Right. Similar to you, that I was everywhere and anywhere, and my family and I travel absolutely everywhere together. So I just always wanted that. And I. The reason I took this opportunity with the commercial insurance place is because they had. Sorry. They had told me it was going to be fully remote. I took a $50,000 pay cut because of that, because I realized that I didn't care about the money. I cared about the freedom. So jumped into that role. And as things started to change, right, they started to become a little bit more corporate and, you know, requiring to be in the office more and this or that and everything. I realized that I tried escaping all of this. This isn't it for me.

[B]

And then also, when you moved in, you were commuting an hour to work an hour back. And I remember this specific moment where you come home from work and I just finished up my day, and I was working from our house, obviously, all day. And then you're. I. I go to the. Take a shower real quick because I just got back from the gym and I come out and you just walked in and you're cooking chicken and you're in tears and you're like, I can't do this anymore. Like, I'm at my breaking point. I had all these dreams, I had all these goals, and then we're already dating, what, like, six, seven months at that point.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And you're like, I just can't do it anymore. So what happened? What happens at the end there at that finish line?

[A]

So what ended up happening was, as you mentioned, right, like, we started doing some, like, videos. Right. Like some car. Yeah. Videos and stuff. And just us facility.

[B]

Like.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Just the video specifically was we were talking about real estate professional status. And we were like, well, you know, if you quit your job, you'll get, you know, three times more money because you're able. We're able to write it off on taxes with you being a real estate professional. And we post that. I'm the one doing all the talking. All you did was, hey, babe, if I. If I didn't work, we'd make more money. Right. That was all you did.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then what do they. What's the conversation they had?

[A]

Well, because you asked me a question. You said, because you want to be A stay at home wife and mom one day, right? And I said, yes, right? You're like, so that means you don't want to work? And I'm like, yes, because when I'm a mom, I want to be fully present. Like, that's, that's me. Especially in those years. Right. In the beginning and. Sorry. In the, in the first forthcoming years of a child's life. And so we do those videos. And then that was during the weekend. Come Monday morning, you know, wake up, I'm getting ready to go into the office and we see how many people resonated with those videos and how interactions. Yeah, how many interactions we were getting with those videos. So you come up to me, you're like, hey, let's, let's do some more. Like, this is really cool. And I say, I can't because I have to go to the office any.

[B]

And I was like, do you? Do you?

[A]

They're like, well, when can you quit your job? And I delusionally, by the way, said, I'll quit this week. Not even thinking about it. Right. I just said it out loud as like, oh, you know, oh, I'll quit this week. Kind of like joking around thing. Little did I know I put that out into the universe. And so come Monday, I go into the office and I just felt it. And the best way for me to describe it is it was the same feeling I felt at my prior job where I came back from a trip with my family. I had a board meeting and I just felt like, this just isn't it anymore. It was that same exact feeling. So I was recognizing the awakening. Yeah, the misalignment is what I like to call it. So that Monday I'm in the office and I thought I felt the misalignment. And I said, this isn't. This isn't it. And so fast forward, my director sends me an email asking if we can talk the following day, scheduled a meeting for the following day. So now it's Tuesday. And you know, he gave me a call and we're talking on the phone and stuff. And again, we didn't part ways in any malicious or bad kind of like way. It was a very clean slate. But ultimately what happened is, you know, he raised to my attention the videos that went viral. They got sent to him. And so he was just having a really honest conversation with me and he's like, hey, because of the way it can be perceived, like the videos went viral, your coworkers, you know, some of them sent them to me and it just kind of makes it sound like you don't really want like a long term future here because you want to be a stay at home wife and mom one day. And he's like, which I fully support. He's like, my wife's a stay at home wife and mom one day. Which was true. Which is really true. And. And I was like, yeah. And I was like, well, if you're asking me if I'm going to do this for the rest of my life, like right now it's a yes. But when I become a wife and a mom, change, I'll reevaluate then, like when that happens. And so he was like, no, of course. And he just asked me to, to talk to you about the videos and maybe about taking them down and like being a little bit careful about what I say online because he knew you had a very strong online presence. And he's like, so just because of the way it could be perceived, which again, I understand my clients could decide to change to another brokerage because so, so I understood where he was coming from. He was doing his job, raising this to me. But that was just like my perfect out. It was my perfect out because it was reality hitting me in the face again, which is, hey, this career that you chose to do is not gonna give you the opportunity to be the full time present wife, mom, entrepreneur's wife that you wanna be at the end of the day. And so again, I was delusional. I said it out loud, jokingly, and then what are the odds that that happened right away?

[B]

Because you hadn't have had. You weren't having these calls pop up on your calendar before we post the video. And for people listening like that was that weekend that we post. It was like a Saturday. And then come Monday, that's the conversation that was had right after we had that conversation.

[A]

Tuesday.

[B]

Yeah, Tuesday. And I think it's so funny, this double standard because every single one of the producers that was there, their wives are all stay at home.

[A]

Yes. And to that point. Right. So when he, when he said that, he's like, my wife's a stay at home wife and mom.

[B]

And I think he handled it well, by the way.

[A]

He did. And so it's just the corporate structure, it was the reality check for me.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That afterwards, when we, when we hung up, I'm sitting there and I'm like, every, every man that I work with here that I respect is my, my counterpart, my colleague. Right. All of their wives are stay at home wives and moms, but not. You make so much money that they can afford it, right?

[B]

Yeah, but you can't do that. That's crazy talk.

[A]

You can't. And that's corporate for you. That's the reality. It's, hey, the women want to play with the men. Like, that's the reality and that's the truth.

[B]

That's the game you're playing.

[A]

That's the game you're playing. Like, no, you can't be a stay at home wife and mom. No, you can't say those things out loud. No, you can't be that. That's the truth. And anyone who's telling you otherwise is lying to you and trying to keep you there. So when you accept that. And again, for the women that are in corporate, are super successful and like have those titles and everything, that's awesome. And if you have the assistance of nannies and daycare and stuff, and you want your kids through that system, that's why I completely like promote, yes, do it. That's your choosing. But for me and for what I want, that wasn't it.

[B]

So percent yeah. So, and guys, you have to remember, and for all the entrepreneurs watching and all the men, I'm obviously Mr. Quit your job. We're aware of this. She's full aware of this. From the day that we met. My Instagram is very public. I'm very googleable. And so it's when as she was going through this, as you were going through this, I had to just kind of like sit to the side and I wanted to make sure that I wasn't pressuring you to make a decision that you didn't want to make because you felt like you had to for the brand, for the vibe, for like, because it's my, it's my lane. I wanted to make sure that you weren't coming into my lane just because you wanted to be in the same car. You know what I mean? And so for me, it was so hard. And I never told you this, but it was so hard every single day. Watching it was heartbreaking because I'm like, that's my baby. Like, that's my girl. Like, I think the most masculine thing a man can do today is get their freaking wife or girlfriend out of corporate America so that you guys can have your full independence. It's not taking your independence away. It's giving you all the optionality in the world.

[A]

Okay, can we talk about that for a minute, please?

[B]

And then we'll talk about, don't worry, guys, we'll talk about how we did this, the conversations we had around it. The. The mental and emotional process of it. It was a lot, but sure.

[A]

So I think the biggest misconception that is currently had around that is a man wants to control you. Take away your career, take away your financial stability. Oh, you don't know enough like you're going to regret this in a few years. We. We already see things so differently. And I'm not trying to convince that person. That person's not gonna try to convince me. That is the most irrelevant thing.

[B]

It's also the men that they're dating.

[A]

Yeah. True. Very facts. The reality is that you have given me me back without me. Really? I'm gonna start crying. We need to cut this part.

[B]

No, this is the good stuff. Welcome to podcasting, baby. I love you. Who's you, baby? You got me tearing up. Well, guys, we made it 25 minutes of the podcast before we started crying.

[A]

Yeah, I think this is, like, the reason why I was like, oh, I don't know if I want to do this or not, because it was going to be, like, full vomit. Is there a way that, like, I can like, not look at you and just.

[B]

Yeah, no, you're fine. So who is you, baby?

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

I'm here with you.

[A]

Oh, okay. This is weird. I don't. You know me.

[B]

I.

[A]

When it comes to emotions, vulnerability, you.

[B]

Which, by the way, she did not cry at all before we dated. Like, you were like, girl boss. And now. Now you're. But let's finish. Finish your original thought. So. So now you feel like you have you back.

[A]

Yes. And I don't think I'm ready to talk.

[B]

It's okay, baby. We can keep going, but it's. I'll. I'll share my perspective from it while you are good. I love you so much. Men watching this. This is why we do it. You, like, your woman is spending her entire life, especially like eldest daughters, they're spending their entire lives trying to keep everyone else together. And you're trying to keep the world together. And you never take time to focus on you. And now you have all the time to focus on you. And so for me, the greatest gift that I could have ever given you is, like, the ability for you to come out. Because, like, in our relationship, my primary thing, we did not think about having tissues. That was our fault. That's our bad. That's our bad 100. But, like, every single day that I wake up, I think, how can I make your life better?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And every single day you wake up, you think, how can you make my life Better, and I think that's what makes everything work. And so the ultimate joy that I have is giving you this, because I can't wait for you to be a wife and a mom and all of this. So do you want to talk about the conversation that you had with Christina that kind of, like, gave you kind of mental permission to accept this?

[A]

Yeah, I think that's a good. Like.

[B]

Yeah. And I want to give a shout out to Christina Moffett. So no, for sure, she is wonderful. Joe and Christina Moffatt are coaches that we're friends with that came out to my birthday, and they've been with me and my businesses for years now. And I coach with Joe. I've coached with Joe before, and Christina, his wife, is such a wonderful soul. And when we were going through it during this, like, really, really heavy friction process of you wanting to leave, but we're not quite there yet. We're having these really tough conversations, which we'll share here in a second. She got on with you, and for the first time in your life, you had a click where you were like, wow.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

What was that click that you had that allowed you to finally give yourself permission to stop being the girl boss into actually step into who you are as a full woman?

[A]

So it was, I think, like, our. Our second call, and she called me out of the. Out of the blue. Right. It wasn't even a.

[B]

Wasn't a planned schedule call, a coaching call.

[A]

Yes. Yeah, it was by Divine. Yeah. So Christina gave me a call just to kind of check up on something that I had previously spoken to her about. And we're just talking back and forth, and she asked me just very blankly, really. She's like, hey, Nat, how do you. How do you show yourself that you love yourself? And I was like, oh, are you kidding? I forget. I love getting dressed up. I love working out. I love doing my hair and makeup. I love shopping. I love this. Like, I love taking care of me, right? And as a truth, that's how I show myself, that I love myself. I love taking care of me, and then I love taking care of my friends and stuff. But, like, me, to me, it's. It's that. And so we dove in a little bit deeper. She's like, well, what does that look like? Right? And so we started just really diving into that, and I came to the response of, like, the ultimate way that I take care of myself is providing for myself. And that comes from, like, just me to me, right? I provide for myself. I make money for myself. I had a House for myself.

[B]

Independence.

[A]

Our independence. But I do that out of safety. Right. Like, but I'm providing for myself. That's how I love myself. And the one thing she said was if you providing for yourself is the ultimate way that you love yourself, well, you now have this, you now have this man. Right. That's like your soulmate, your person that you call like your, your other half. Why aren't you allowing him to love you that way? And I had no response to her. I was like, I was on the phone there just like, like it was the most wow moment. Like, wow. Because I never thought about it like that. But I think it's because we are so cultured and, and taught to believe that, like, no, you should take care of yourself and you should be responsible for yourself. And all this like girl boss, women empowerment, this, that. There's a whole other lane to that, by the way. But like, in this version, I thought I had to provide for myself. And I don't like asking anyone for anything. I, I don't even ask my parents for a dime.

[B]

So you know why I think that is?

[A]

Why?

[B]

Because, like, as a man, like, because we want to have all of these kids together. Right. And it's just like, I just think about the advice that I would give to my daughter and our daughter in the future. And what I think about is you want to prepare your daughter for the worst so that she is good enough to where she's never reliant on a bad man.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

But that advice and that training and that upbringing kind of puts shackles on them for when they meet a good man.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Because the best way to be with a good man is for you to be like, I'm all in.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

I'm going to let you provide. Because it's something I struggle with too, is, is asking for help. Because I want to be the provider. Because I think masculinity at its core is providing. Like, I think that you are a boy. And this is me talking to me too. I think that you are a boy until you have children. I don't. I'm a 31 year old boy right now. Maybe I'm a teenager. Right. I'm pretty mature for my age. I'm like. But it's like when you have children, you're in. People are dependent on you and your family's dependent on you. Then that is where you're a man. That is where you go hunt and you kill, kill the elk. You put it on your back, you bring it home for your wife to cook. And clean it and to provide for your children. And it's just like. I think that's what it is. And so it's funny because, like. But as a father, you want to prepare. You want to make sure that your daughter isn't, like, too soft, because then a bad guy or somebody that can't provide and isn't going to go kill the elk is going to come, and all of a sudden, nobody's killing any elks and nobody's eating.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know what I mean? So it's a piece of advice my aunt gave me one time to help me overcome is I. I have this fear of asking for help. And then she goes, well, if you never ask that, it's very selfish because you're robbing others of the joy of giving, because there's so many people that want to give to you and want to provide for you, and you're robbing them. So that's what you were doing subconsciously. But I was trying and I was trying. I was trying, but, like, you were like, I'm this independent shadow neo, you know, And. And so. But that's what attracted me to you. So I want to. I want to push us forward a little bit to the. To conversation. So we. You leave your job. This was not a decision that we took lightly. This is a decision that we had a lot of conversations about. Decision that we had a lot of planning about. And there was a conversation that we had that resulted in you crying on a Saturday night in our bed with a spreadsheet in front of you. What the hell happened? Walk people through this.

[A]

The theme here is that I'm a big crybaby now.

[B]

So what happened? Tell them.

[A]

Okay, so this was a few months ago again, before I.

[B]

Before you left.

[A]

Yeah, before I quit my job and everything. You. We were actually in the kitchen. This is how it started. We were in the kitchen, and you said, hey, babe, I need you to do me a favor. And I was like, what's up?

[B]

So, Cathy.

[A]

And so, Cathy, right? I was like, what's up? And you're like, I need you to make a spreadsheet over the last, like, 90 days, and I need you to see how much you spend, like, track your expenses. Like, how much do you spend on this, your. Your gym, your car, this, that, whatever. Like, I need you to track your expenses. And I looked at you like, are you. Are you. Are you thinking right now?

[B]

She looked at the dog. Sophie. A man.

[A]

I literally looked over at Sophie, our dog, and I was like, in what world? In what Parallel universe. Did we allow a man, a boy, to come into our lives and audit us? Like, what? I was. So here's the thing. I understand the intent now, but at the time, I was like, excuse me. Like, what?

[B]

Mind you. Mind you, we were living together and dating for eight months at this point.

[A]

No. Yeah. And I'm like, no, like. And not because of, like, I didn't want you to know my expenses, but because I'm like, what's it.

[B]

You didn't want to know your expenses.

[A]

Okay, that's true.

[B]

Yeah. But anyway, and so here's why I asked her that, for people listening. So what I did was I wanted to know how much you cost organically, naturally. Because for. As a man, I think that what I don't want to do is I don't want to say, here's your budget. Here's. Here's. Here's the amount of money. Here's your allowance, babe, go. Go spend this. I don't view. I think that's scarcity. I think that's the wrong way to do it. And so how we wanted to do it was I said, look, I want to know how much you spend and what you spend on that makes you effing happy. I want you to be delirious. And so let's just dulu. So I want to see, like, where you spend money, how. What categories and buckets you spend money in so that we can spend lavishly in the buckets that you love. And I never make sure that you have a limit or a ceiling to that, you know, the rest of them, that we can have a conversation about not spending as much.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And so we did the math, and I come in, and you're in the bed on, crying, looking at a spreadsheet, doing your. And you're like, too much.

[A]

So. So we're calling this the audit, right? The audit is the audit. And so you. It was a Saturday night, right.

[B]

And everybody should do this, by the way.

[A]

Yeah. So you were working on something, and I pulled out my laptop, and I started doing, like, an Excel spreadsheet.

[B]

And hashtag entrepreneurship. Hashtag entrepreneur couple.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Hashtag. No Saturday night.

[A]

Hashtag spreadsheets.

[B]

Hashtag.

[A]

So. Because that's how my brain works in spreadsheets. And I started going through, like, my accounts, right? And kind of, like, seeing, like, how much I spent in January and February and March. And then I went back another three months, and I saw the numbers, and I felt so bad. I felt so guilty, because it was a number that was looking back at me. And I was like, I spend way too much money. Way too much money. Like, I should have been more conservative. I should have been this, I should have been that. Which, by the way, when I told you the number of how much I spend a month, you're like, that's it. But to me, I, to me, I was like, this is. I should have saved so much more. I should have put so much more aside. Maybe I didn't need those extra things from Amazon. Right. Maybe I didn't need to buy the organic grass fed groceries that you all

[B]

want to know how much she spends a month? Four grand. $4,000. $36,000 a year. She was making six figures. She spends 4,000. I saw how much you spend. I looked at that and I was like, got it. Now I know we can get you out tomorrow. And I think that this is an important exercise that every couple should do is men, have your. Have your girl go, or have your guy go and look at their expenses, what they naturally and organically spend, so that you know what your current quality of life is. This is your basement floor. This is your baseline. And I also was able to know, well, what categories do you love spending money on? And you love shopping.

[A]

I do.

[B]

I don't understand why you love shopping so much, but you love shopping. And so I would like to, as a person that wants to make you happy, I would damn well make sure that you got enough money to shop.

[A]

Yeah. You know, bougie on a budget.

[B]

Bougie on a budget. And so that's, that's how we created the budget. And I knew I could put in my spreadsheet, okay, well, how much money do we need to bring in? Does this fit within our arithmetic? It does. And that's where the conversation started. But a lot of people are like, well, I want to get you out, I want you to come stay at home. But they're not taking into account, well, how much does that cost? Yeah, something to think about.

[A]

Truth. Like the facts behind it. Like, what does that cost? Like, if you want to stay at home and you want that life, what does that cost? Without jeopardizing the things that you love? Right. Without having to let those things go.

[B]

Well, also, we're not even taking into account the cost of daycare, by the way. So if you were not working and we had kids, if you were working and we had kids, the cost of daycare, the cost of nannies, the cost of all this stuff where I'm like, dude, for most people, it probably makes way more sense to have Their wives or girlfriends stay at home.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So this is the story of how we got you out. So we had these conversations. We talked about what you were doing. We could talk a little bit later about, like, how we kind of integrated you into the business, conversations that you and I have had about that. But first I want to talk about. We just talked about spending today, and then we went off to Utah to talk about our spending three years from now.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So you and I flew. And this was my first time doing this too, with you. I'm probably the biggest advertiser of the book Vivid Vision by Cameron Herold that exists our vision retreat, because I've done three vivid visions and they've all come true. So for people listening, a vivid vision is where you write down what your dream life looks like in present tense. So it's like, I wake up, I walk out onto my balcony in Mykonos. I can feel the cobblestones warm on my feet. I look out at the Adriatic and I know that I've got no calls on my calendar, no nothing to do on my schedule. I am financially free. I can do what I want, when I want, with who I want. My business makes me money while I traveled around the world. I wrote that in 2022 when I was sitting in my corporate cubicle. Okay. And I pulled it off. Well, I wrote that in 2019, pulled it off in 2022. So the point being is that's a vivid vision. But what I'd never done is a couple's vision together. And so what we did was I booked, uh, and this is advice for anybody if you want to, like, I don't even know how to pre frame this. Like, I think it's the single most important exercise that a couple can do ever, period, full stop, is what we did, which is we step one, booked a beautiful Airbnb. So we got out of our house, we got this Airbnb. It wasn't anything crazy. I think it was 500 bucks a night or something. Over in Promontory in Utah, it was Park City, Salt Lake City. And we were able to like, look out over the mountains. It was absolutely gorgeous. And we rented this four bedroom house by ourselves and I created a 50 question document that was my document. And you had your copy of the document. And so we both had our, our vision document. And what these questions looked like was they were in different categories. They were in categories like health and wellness. Where do we. So, like, what do we want our bodies to look like? You know, do we want personal trainers do we want private chefs? Do we want, like, what does our house look like? Where do we live? What cars do we want to drive? How many kids do we want? What do you want our wedding to look like? What do you want your engagement ring to look like? When we get into an argument, how do we want to talk it out? You know, like all these different crazy things, like everything granular and 50 questions each.

[A]

And I'm going to interrupt you there for a second because I think one of the most important parts about that 50 question questionnaire that we did before we aligned together to go over responses was we even talked about when something is happening. This is how I respond to it. Right. The importance of that and knowing your person. It's like when something goes wrong in the business and I am feel completely defeated. Do you like for me to be there long by your side? Do you want me to give you space? Do you want to talk about it?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Having those conversations on what the way you operate when something happens like that is critical. Same goes for me. Right. It's when, let's say something doesn't go my way. Right. Or we get good news, bad users about something. Do I like space? Do I like to talk about it? What's the. What are the steps to kind of work with each other on how to navigate those conflicts?

[B]

Yeah. And if you guys want the link to this, we'll send it out. Just comment vision in the description comments and we'll send you the copy because we've sent this to, I think 40,000 people at this point on. On Instagram alone. And so me and you both fill these out individually and then we bring them together. We come to this beautiful place and we had a full day, like two days blocked out. It was a weekend. And what we also made sure to do was we got there on Friday and we're like, okay, so for Friday evening, we're gonna get everything prepped for all day. Saturday we're gonna do this, and then Sunday we're gonna celebrate. Yeah, Sunday we're going to play. And then so we went like skeet shooting. Like, we went and had a bunch of fun. It was really fun. On Sunday, so we went out in the mountains. So you get this beautiful place. And that's really important because state matters. You need to be somewhere that's inspiring to you, somewhere that's out of your normal realm. Normal, normal. House, your kids screaming like, you got to be by yourself. And so we did that. And then we put out our documents and then tell them about the Sticky notes and everything that we got.

[A]

So I. When you first told me about this idea, like, let's go book a place and let's do, like, our couple's vision retreat.

[B]

Because you're a whiteboard girl.

[A]

I am a whiteboard girly. I am immediately right. I'm like, oh, my God. I'm going to order these, like, massive sticky notes and markers, Right. So we can write all out. Because I need to see it to think through it. Right. And to this day at our home, do I not bring out the little, like, why erase? Dry erase board? And I'm always, like, writing things on it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And so put these stickers all over the windows because we had, like, Florida ceiling windows, and we did these buckets or columns, right. Of the top categories for us. So it was very interactive, very collaborative. And we did that after we reviewed our responses with each other, we went

[B]

one by one, category by category. So each one of these giants. So these are probably like 2 foot by 4 foot sticky notes that we put all around the house. And so it would be like, health, wellness, finance, wedding, kids, you know, family, emotional connection, travel.

[A]

Yeah, travel was the big one.

[B]

So we had all of this stuff. And so here's the coolest part that happened from all of this, right. Is like, men, you want to know the answer to how do I get my spouse? How do I get my girlfriend on board with what I'm doing? And also, same thing for women that if you have a significant other that doesn't get it. And you're the kind of the visionary, right?

[A]

Spearhead.

[B]

Yeah. So what was so cool about it was we put out what we want our dream life to look like. We went through each one of the categories one by one. And then what we did is we put dollar signs to them. So we started with the vision. Okay, we want this type of house. We want, like, this square footage house in the Westlake Hills in Texas. That house is gonna be $5 million. And then, you know what we did next? We took this rah rah vision and we brought it down to reality.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So you go from directional clarity, which is where are we going? Sequential, and how long? Three years. And the tactical. Okay, well, what's that actually going to be? And how do we get there tactically? And so the mortgage. We went all the way down to a mortgage calculator. If we bought a $5 million house, this house, today, let's go look on the MLS. Let's look on Zillow and see these houses. How much do they cost? We're like, okay, $42,000 a month. Taxes, insurance, PITI. Every single thing. 42,000. And then me and you looked at each other, we said, Holy shit, 42,000. Like, that's more than I spend everything.

[A]

I was like, maybe we need to backtrack a little bit, but here's the number.

[B]

But when we hit that, when you had that thought, maybe we need to backtrack, maybe we need to be, what? Realistic?

[A]

Y.

[B]

What did we do next?

[A]

We. We didn't. We did the complete opposite.

[B]

We reverse engineered the math.

[A]

We reverse engineered the math. But not even just that. The importance of being. You always talk about state. Right. Being in the. In the right state and everything. The importance of being in the state of abundance. And I'm gonna say it's not delusion, but it's, you know, dulu right to me of like dream life. And you really were the person that was like, pushing me towards that. You're like, babe, no, you know, dream life. Three years from now, how much do you spend on your skin, on your nails, on your hair?

[B]

If anything's possible, Anything is not practical if you can do it.

[A]

Yes, exactly. Not being practical, not being, like, safe. This, that. It's a gift of your gym membership, your Pilates, you're. This, that, whatever. What does that look like? You have to be in the state of. Yes, like I. My dream life. I have this Pilates studio and this spin studio and this. And like, I go here and these are my memberships and I. This is my expenses and this, that, whatever. Because when you're in that state, you're getting excited about it. You're like, this is my dream life. Right. So now you're open to accepting that and you're going to figure out how to get there. Which brings us back to how we reversed engineered everything.

[B]

But that's what's so super important, is we created the vision first, then we put the dollar signs to the vision after the vision was created.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

All right. We want this. I want this. This specific. This specific Ferrari model.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know, you want this specific mommobile.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know, and we had all these specific things. I want a personal trainer. We probably. We even had like $50,000 or like $200,000 a year in like personal development and like personal trainers. We wanted a private chef, you know, full time live in nanny to help us with the kids. And also, like, we're going to teach our kids Spanish, all this different stuff. And so when we started doing all the math, then $42,000 for the house, the car payments are like $17,000 a month. And again, like, even with the money that we make today, it's like, I spend maybe $20,000 a month. So the mortgage alone is twice what I spent right now, aggregate. And so this was even big for me. And I've done this for years, right?

[A]

But it felt. When we saw the number at the end of the day, what it. What did you feel?

[B]

Relief. So. Because seriously. And so what happens next, right, is then you have all of the numbers together. And then. So here's what you do as an entrepreneur, as a business owner, it's a little bit more difficult to do this when you're a W2. But maybe doing this as a W2 will show you that you actually can't ever afford your dream life if you're continuing in the career that you're doing. But for me, what I did was. I was like, okay, cool. With everything all totaled together. A million dollars. A million dollars a year. We can have our absolute dream home. We're flying private with our family. We're doing this. We're doing this. We have the cars, we have the nanny.

[A]

We have all this six months out of the year.

[B]

Correct. And then. So what did we do after that? Did we just say, okay, well, now we need to make a million dollars a year? No. I was like, well, we want to live on half of what we make, so that means that we need to take home $2 million a year to spend a million. I was like, but wait, there's more that needs to be after tax. Yep. So now you need to add 32% on to 2 million. And so that was like, okay, well, then we really need to take home about, like, 3.7. Call it 4 million. So we need a net $4 million per year for us to have this dream life. All right? And then so I'm like, okay, well, if we're netting $4 million a year on a 30 profit margin, then we gotta be doing about, you know, 12 to 15 million dollars a year in the business. And so then that became the goal. So all of our dream life wraps up to this goal where we're like, okay, so for us to spend a million dollars a year and save a million dollars a year, here's after, like, post tax with tax added back on and a 30% profit margin, here's what the business needs to be producing. And I showed you that. And you're like, well, where are we at today? I was like, well, right now we're at five. We need to be at 15, you say, okay, so in three years, we have to 3x the business. I said, got it. You're like, I will do anything possible to make that happen. Like, just show me what to do and how to do it, and I will bend the earth to make sure that happens. Because why? Because now you see how it ties to the vision.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And so what a lot of you guys are doing is you're. You're showing your partner these spreadsheets and financial projections and dollars and decimal points. You don't give a. You care about the vision and, like, what that dollar is going to produce for you.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And then the conversation that we had after that was, you want to tell them about the girl Math.

[A]

Yeah. Oh, that's. Yeah.

[B]

So I was like, okay, so you

[A]

said something right now that I hadn't thought about that is now has, like, my. My brain spiraling a little bit. And, like, in the best way, looking at those numbers on a W2 income.

[B]

No way.

[A]

There's no way.

[B]

No way.

[A]

There's no way. So no wonder when I saw that number, I was like, how in the world does. Would anyone be able to afford that? You know, there's no way on a W2 income to have that dream life there. It just.

[B]

You can't.

[A]

You. You cannot.

[B]

Well, there's the story of the Ferrari at this. In the CEO's Ferrari. So have you heard it?

[A]

No.

[B]

So the CEO goes, CEO takes his number one employee, and he says, hey, you've been so loyal. Come have dinner with me and my wife.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And so the employee comes over to have dinner with the CEO and his wife. And he takes. He's like, hey, son, come out to the garage with me. I want to show you something. He shows. Shows a beautiful law Ferrari. And he goes, you see this? He goes, yeah. He goes, well, you know, if you work really hard, in a couple more years, you will buy me two of these things. And so everyone thinks that you're going to be getting the Ferrari. You working harder is going to get your boss another Ferrari.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

Your CEO, another Ferrari, not you. So you have to be an owner.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And because we're owners, that also leads back to whenever you say, oh, hey, you know, I feel a little tight right now. We should cut back. I'm like, actually, no, we should just go make some fucking more money.

[A]

Well, and I'll tell you what, I think that mindset of maybe we're spending too much or things are a little tight, like, we should cut back. I feel like that mindset is tied to W2 still, it's tied to corporate because you're on a fixed. You sure you have your commissions and stuff, but still like if you're on a fixed W2, you're on a fixed W2. So guess what the immediate like thought is if something is too expensive or your expenses are too high, you got to cut back because you have no other option, because you have no other income. And that's your reality.

[B]

Yeah. But then when you own the business, you are thinking of an infinite amount of ways to go make more money. And then so what we talked about was then we're like, okay, well and this is by, by the way, when she's still employed. And I was like, oh yeah, by the way baby, with that million dollars to take home. I was like, so if you just don't work your job and you're a real estate professional, let's talk about that. And so for people listening, real estate professional status is the most widely used tax freaking credit that exists in, in America. And for some reason when we do videos about this, everybody acts like it's some type of scam.

[A]

But can I tell you something? A lot of very successful people that I know and family members, aunts, uncles, everything that have the stay at home wives, guess what? For some reason they all are, they have that real estate professional exemption status or whatever. And I remember thinking like, why do they have that, this or that? And now I know. Because it's a tax thing.

[B]

Yeah. So if you are a real estate professional, you can go buy commercial real estate, do what's called a cost segregation study, which is where they go do a study of all the different depreciating parts of the, of the property. The pavement, the roof, the building, the structure, all this different stuff. And then instead of taking all that depreciation over, I think it's 17 and a half years, you front load that all called accelerated bonus depreciation. And you can wipe that off of your active income if your primary income is real estate related activity. And you put 750 hours clocked logged in a spreadsheet and that auditable. Right. And so you can't do that if you're working. So if you quit your job and that's why so many people's wives are realtors.

[A]

Yeah. You know, so when you taught me about this, by the way, because I had no idea about it, when you introduced me to the concept, I was like, that is so almost like too simple, like too good to be true. And then we started talking about it. And we put numbers to it. So back to our vision thing when we were talking about, like, what does our life cost us? This, that, whatever. And we saw 2 million a year. I saw that number and I was like, wait a minute, hold on. But you're telling me that if I become a real estate professional and we're able to do this. Right? And so we, we kind of backtrack the math. The amount that we would be saving on taxes a year pretty much paid for the life that we wanted.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

And that's where I was like, so the life pays for itself. It's girl math. Like, it's free girl math.

[B]

It's free. Yeah, exactly.

[A]

Like, by me being a real estate professional and not working, that amount that we're saving a year on taxes is the equivalent of how much we spend. Why am I like, tell me what job I could possibly work where I was going to make half a million dollars a year.

[B]

Correct. Huh. And so for people listening, welcome. Meet our new head of real estate acquisition. So now what we're doing is what we're prepping you so that you're learning a lot of the real estate stuff today. And so that in 2027 we can hit the ground running and we can do it the proper way and you could be able to file for claim real estate professional status. So I can go buy a couple million dollars office building, and then we're going to cost, segregate it, we're going to depreciate it, and then we're going to wipe all that off of our active income. And now we own a building that everyone can come in for Action Academy and do events and wipe off like hundreds of thousands of dollars of income.

[A]

Yeah. Fun, very fun stuff.

[B]

It's blessed.

[A]

But again, doing the couples vision retreat, going out, being aligned, that's the best way to get your significant other on board. That's the best way to be aligned on the vision and then working everything else backwards. The whole concept of reverse engineering your goals, by the way, is genius. I, But I had never been aware of that. Right. I had never seen that or thought about that concept. And now that's. I apply that to everything, absolutely everything. So it's, it's something I would say this practice of going out there and doing it is critical for the growth. Because what I was seeing too, by the way, is when I was still working in corporate, it was you were growing and you were going to continue growing, and I was growing too, and we were going to grow kind of like in parallel to each other. But we were going to be. Yeah, for a bit, but we weren't going to be growing together. And then I. Again, another moment that I had to myself. I'm like, why am I busting myself making somebody else rich when I could be alongside you, working together and making us successful, making, like, building our things for our future. And that's. That's the whole point.

[B]

I want to take this idea of vision, right? So you and I did that in December, and now we're already to the point where we're going into the summer, which we're about to travel Europe for weeks, 12 weeks, months.

[A]

Which was my dream, by the way.

[B]

Which was your dream. And we can talk. It was my dream, too. And I crashed and burned in the first attempt. And now it's like three years later. I'm like, oh, my God. Thank you, God. It's finally time. So it's just like. It's. It's amazing. But for the. For the sake of vision, we talked about the vision for the future, but you and I also created visions for who we wanted to attract at a partner, and we got crystal clear on that before we met.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

And so when. We won't go into the full story of how we met, but like the. The condensed version, for the sake of time here. But for the. We can do a whole podcast on that, too. But for the sake of time. I was in the Dolomites while you were in Japan. You are with your family. And guys, it's the same day, by the way, July 15, July 15, 2025, you're in Japan with your family. You go to this temple in Kyoto. You pull out this fortune that says, you know, new careers about to come, new decisions are about to come.

[A]

So I have it memorized because that's how impactful it was to me. So I pulled a fortune. And it said, trouble and disaster in your career are coming to an end. The person you're waiting for will come. Like, new employment and marriage are. Well, keep in mind, I was single, so I didn't care about the relationship, you know, marriage or, well, or whatever. But I was already in the process of interviewing for that second career opportunity. So when I saw that, I was like, wait, this is real. Oh, my gosh. Like, this is a sign, right? So I thought the sign was, yeah, take this new job offer. Like, what's about to happen? And the day I got back, I. We returned from Japan that Monday. I get called for an interview that following Friday, right? To schedule it that Friday on August 8th, that I accepted the new job offer. We met that evening. I met you. If that's not the universe or God, whatever you believe in saying, like, hey, you say you want all these things, right? You say you want to be the stay at home wife, the mom, that this, you want to travel, you want to have all this freedom. Prove it and I'll give you everything you've ever wanted. And the way that I had to prove was to let go of my identity of legal and board governance that I tied myself with pride to. So it was letting go of that instantly I met you that evening and

[B]

back to the date too, of the 15th in the summer, on that same exact day that you were pulling out that fortune. I was in the Dolomites, the Italian Dolomites, at this hotel, writing out the vision for what I wanted my wife to be. And I was just like writing out every characteristics, every quality that I wanted. I even had it to the point where I was like, she's Latin and she came from nothing. But then her family had success, entrepreneurial, household. But she knows what it's like to be humble and to come from nothing. And she's, she's grounded, she's earthly, but she also is ambitious and entrepreneurial because she was raised that way, to that degree. That's why I know I showed you the vision and I even described you all the way, all the way down this page. And so I always got that advice of, hey, if you're single and you're really looking for your partner, like physically write out what all the characteristics, qualities of your dream partner and she'll come or he'll come. And I always pissed me off so bad because I was just like, dude, you guys suck. It's like the same advice of when you know, you know, it comes when you're least expecting it. And I was like my brother in Christ, I am so single. I am 31 years old. If I go to a bar in Austin, Texas, on a Saturday night one more time looking for my wife, I will die. And so God answered me finally. But I had to get. Still get quiet. And we met a month later on August 8th.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And now the rest is history. And now we're going to get married, have a bunch of babies and all this fun stuff. But let's, let's talk about, for the sake of time, we have another about 15 minutes here, 10 minutes here. Let's talk about the Europe trip. So you and I are wanting to go to Europe, and we've got everything planned. We're Going to go spend a week in Paris.

[A]

We're going to my first Euro summer in my fifth. Yeah.

[B]

So I've got warmed. I've got Europe warmed for you.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And so this is so exciting for me because for people that are just now following me for the first time, believe it or not, I had this dream before, and I think it's impactful to tell them because a lot of the times it's like sometimes you have a dream and it. And it. You get to the finish line and it crashes and burns and you're like, well, maybe it was the wrong dream and you give up on it. But then for me, what I did was I had an old relationship. We both left corporate, we went to travel to Europe, Euro summer. But she didn't want to. And I was kind of dragging her along because we didn't share the same vision, the same goals, the same values, anything with what we wanted for our life because we didn't do that exercise. And so I thought, well, I guess I'm never going to find somebody to travel with. And so I had this giant list of places that I hadn't traveled to that was purposely avoiding until I was finally in a relationship with my partner. And so now it took three years, guys. It took three years. And now her and I are finally about to go to Paris. We've got a freaking yacht, we're chartering around the south of France. Then we're going to Italy, we're going to Greece, we're going to Switzerland, we're staying in a castle in Ireland.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So, like, how are you feeling about all of this?

[A]

I've been telling you since two weeks ago. I'm like, let's go.

[B]

Let's just go.

[A]

Just go already. I mean, I'm already, like, mentally checked out. I'm over there already.

[B]

Same.

[A]

I. I'm really excited. And again, because this is something that I wanted for myself even before I had met you. So that's what it is.

[B]

It's like rude of you to have dreams and desires before meeting me, honestly.

[A]

But. Right. Taking those three years to myself and like, especially that, that last year of me being very honest that, hey, this career isn't going to fulfill me. I want to travel, I want to explore, I want to go, I want to see. And I wanted something that was fully remote. Right. So that I could do that. Come full circle. If you would have told Nat May of last year, hey, a year from now, you're going to be getting ready to go to summer for. To summer. You're going to get ready to go to Europe for 12 weeks in the summer with the love of your life, and you guys are going to go bop around everywhere and it's going to be your ultimate dream come true. I would look at you and be like, hey, I got a board meeting I gotta go for. Like, get outta here. I don't have time for this. That's the truth. And now I'm just so excited. I'm so excited. I'm ready. I. You know what else it is too? I deserve it.

[B]

You do.

[A]

That's what it is.

[B]

I deserve it too.

[A]

Yeah, we deserve it.

[B]

We talk about that a lot. Where I'm like, I literally say, like, damn, I'm such a good boyfriend to you.

[A]

Oh, we had this conversation. Yeah.

[B]

You know, and I was like, and you deserve it. And I say that because you're such a good girlfriend to me.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I deserve it. And I think that we both took time to be single, which is probably the best advice as much as it sucks.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But we both didn't just jump around relationship to relationship. We took time to really figure out who we were, what we were. And we also had to become the partner that was capable of attracting the dream partner.

[A]

Right.

[B]

So that's. I think the second step that people don't do is when you write out that dream list of who your dream partner is. Then the second thing that you write out is, well, who the hell do I need to become to attract this person effortlessly.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

And I put all that work in to become that person. So that when we met. And you did too.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Because if you were super bored and legal and board governance, girly, 80 hour a week girl boss, I would have been like, ew, you're hot. I want to make out with you. But. But you don't have. You're at a pto, girl.

[A]

Like, see ya. And. And again, we will do another episode on this too. But it's that, right? It was the full acceptance and being so honest with yourself about what do you want? I it to me, it was done. I got on my knees and I prayed to God and I asked him. I was like, hey, if the path for me to be a wife and a mom isn't for me, please remove it from my heart. Because I can't. Like, it's a lot. And he didn't. And that's. That was the reality. That was the truth. And accepting that. And then, you know, going through the career changes and through that, I meet you and I'm like, whoa, hold on it was. And again, what we can do a whole, like, episode on, like, how things happened for us. Right. Because I think it is a really beautiful story and we should encourage, like, beautiful love that exists. But more than anything, it was the reality check of not just that you deserve it, but it's real. It exists. You're not being delusional. You can have it all, but you need to become it first. That's what it is. That's the truth.

[B]

Yeah. So you need to be the person that deserves it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I think a lot of people are just sitting around kind of on their, on their hands. They're like, well, I want a supermodel that is also super smart. And you're, they're, they're well traveled and they're bilingual and all these different things. And I'm like, brother, have you considered making some money? Have you considered lifting a weight? I'll tell you what, the, the thing that surprised me the most was I spent years and years and years with excuses of, you know, oh, I'll lose weight, I'll get in shape, you know, whenever, blah, blah, blah. But I was single, and I was still being able to be single while I was fat.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I just lost freaking 30 pounds. Been the best shape of my life.

[A]

Good.

[B]

I'm the, hey, so girl, what are you trying to do? Best shape of my life. My friendships are better than they've ever been before. My business is better than it's ever been before. My mental and emotional health is better than it's ever been before. And it's just like, in closing, the fastest way to tell who's going to be rich or not is who you're married to.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And so they're either an amplifier or they're an anchor.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And so they're either an anchor. Driving, dragging you down and telling you to be realistic. Whether you're an amplifier. You're like gasoline to the fire. And when I wrote out my vision, I literally wrote gasoline, the word gasoline. And I was like, I want somebody that's a gas. Gas to my fire. That just like lights me up. That makes me just from a spark to a bonfire. But.

[A]

But one thing that I do want, because I know we only have a few minutes left. One thing I do want to go back to, I'm okay to talk about now because it really upsets me when I see women. And honestly, it's a lot of men be so negative about the whole, oh, you know, he's taking away her independence. And like, he's taking away like who she is and this or that or whatever.

[B]

By you getting out of corporate.

[A]

By me getting out of corporate. Yeah. And me saying like, you gave me me back. I didn't know how I was operating. I was. It was survival. That's what it was. I hadn't had the opportunity to fully be me again. I was like, me. What I considered me was the person that was working 80, 90 hour weeks checking off boxes. Right. Having all these accomplishments that were so career driven that I'm like, that's who Nat is. Right. It's this corporate girl that feels success based off of how much productivity, you know, I can check off or this or whatever. Getting a round of applause for a great meeting. And it just. It's. That wasn't it. And who am I really now? I've been discovering her these last three weeks and it's been amazing, but I would say even more so than that. But you gave me me back. Which who is. It's a girl that loves to dance, by the way. I love my friends and family. You know, community to me is like absolutely everything. I'm happier. I feel. I'm not kind of like operating out of this, like, anxious, like, nervous system thing. That whole like, oh, being with the right man's gonna calm your nervous system. Absolutely. But I'll tell you what, if you're with the right man and he calms your nervous system, but you're in an environment working, you know, nine to five or you're still working your career, that's ultra lights triggering your nervous system, girl. It's not. It's not going to work for you. Like, you're putting your. You're in another toxic relationship. Like, I used to say, the most toxic relationship I ever had was with my work. And so that whole thing about, like, oh, you're taking away my individuality, this, that, whatever. No, you gave me me back.

[B]

I mean, and you have helped me become a version of me that I didn't even know existed. So excited to do many more of these and keep the people updated as we, as we go along our journey.

[A]

And what is next?

[B]

I don't know. A lot. Yeah, we'll see. Family. Well, people can lecture us on kids and marriage and all that stuff. And, yeah, it's a lot of stuff. So if people want to follow along on your journey, they know where to find me. Where do they find you?

[A]

You can find me on your page, through your stuff. But yeah, just on Instagram at Natalia Lopez. And that's it.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. Love you. See it wasn't that bad, wasn't it?

[A]

It's weird.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You get used to it after 2000. After 2000 of them.

[A]

Is that what it is? I'm like, yeah.

[B]

Guys, this has been Brian and that with the Action Academy podcast signing off.