Adam Carolla LIVE in NYC with Kat Timpf, Dr. Drew & Kyle Dunnigan

Summary

Adam Carolla Show: Live in NYC with Kat Timpf, Dr. Drew & Kyle Dunnigan

Date: October 13, 2025
Location: Rodney's Comedy Club, New York City
Guests: Kat Timpf, Dr. Drew, Kyle Dunnigan

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Overview

This special live episode of The Adam Carolla Show, recorded in New York City, is a fast-paced, irreverent blend of standup banter, unsparing takes on urban life and politics, and the show’s trademark blend of riffing, personal anecdotes, and comic impersonations. Adam is joined onstage by comedian Kyle Dunnigan and long-time friend Dr. Drew, with recurring impressions from Kyle (including "Donald Trump" and "Bill Maher"). Kat Timpf joins midway, and the panel ranges from subway rats and urban decay to sandwich theory, tipping culture, political hypocrisy, and the absurdities of modern life.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Welcome & Venue Banter (02:33)

• Adam, Kyle, and Dr. Drew open the show, with Kat Timpf running late from a Gutfeld taping.
• The vibe is loose and interactional, with Adam poking fun at his own inexperience at the venue and joking about Dr. Drew performing standup.

Memorable Exchange:
Adam: “Kyle, you destroy comedy. You’re like a black hole where comedy goes to die...you are a sack of baking soda to my comedy fire.” (03:27)

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2. New York City Observations (06:58)

• Adam talks about his experience on the NYC subway, seeing giant rats, and how New Yorkers tolerate them like Angelenos do with homeless people.
• Observations about miles of subway tile: Adam riffs about the excessive use of tile in the New York City subway, theorizing about a 'big tile' conspiracy from the city’s past.

Quote:
Adam: “It’s miles and miles of tiles, everybody. I should open a tile store...It’s not doing anything, but yet there it is.” (08:26)

• Kyle offers a historical explanation: the tiles stemmed from early 20th-century design for hygiene and resisting grime/graffiti.
• LA infrastructure compared: Adam laments LA’s struggles with graffiti, theft, and the need for “barbed wire around freeway signs” and “cages around catalytic converters.”

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3. LA vs. NY and Urban Decay (17:17)

• The discussion shifts to LA’s rising crime and urban blight, with dark humor about personal responsibility in theft victims:
  Adam: “‘Oh, you didn’t put rebar over your bay window? Oh, wait – you went to sleep? That’s on you, bro.’” (17:18)
• Adam details the absurdity of urban decay—razor wire on infrastructure, caged auto parts, copper theft.

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4. Kat Timpf Joins: Parenting & Health (24:45)

• Kat discusses baby-proofing, calling her son’s playpen a “cage.”
  Kat: “My husband’s like, it’s called a playpen. I’m like, it’s a fucking cage.” (24:57)

• Humorous exchanges on baby-proofing, parental anxiety, and Adam’s laissez-faire parenting (“I put a butter knife in a socket when I was three. Guess who learned not to put butter knives in sockets?”) (25:33)

• Kat openly discusses her cancer recovery, breast reconstruction, and upcoming nipple surgery. The panel riffs on what “the rules” are for showing reconstructed breasts on TV. Kat: “I almost wish I went bigger, because very rarely do you get the opportunity—nobody could say anything.” (26:38)

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5. Stand-up Comedy & Industry Riffs (39:01)

• Bill Maher and “Donald Trump” (Kyle) impressions interwoven, riffing on political scandals, mug shots, the Nobel Peace Prize, and the absurdities of TV news cycles.
• Comedy as therapy and “standup tips” from the legends, with Bill Maher undercutting Adam’s ‘comic greatness’ claims:
  Bill Maher: “First off, it’s not comedy to rant into a microphone for an hour, okay? You have to craft jokes.” (39:48)

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6. Tipping Culture, Service Industry (41:05)

• Adam rails against forced tipping, the awkwardness of digital tip screens, and proposes a “spin the wheel” randomized tip generator (“1 to 15%, and let the gods decide”).
  Adam: “I want one button that is like, this is subpar service, but you don’t want to go full Grinch, no tip. I'll go 1 to 15% and let the gods decide what this gets.” (43:49)
• Panel banters about high-stakes tip roulette, tattoos as social signaling, and OnlyFans naming origins.

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7. Sandwich Theory & Parental Love (50:02)

• Adam introduces his “mom sandwich” litmus test for love/effort: Toasted bread = higher parental affection.
• Panelists recall their worst and best lunchbox sandwiches as a barometer for childhood nurture.

Notable Quotes:

• Adam: “The sandwich is really just effort...it’s time spent on your child and loving, and there’s nothing in it for you.” (51:07)
• Dr. Drew: “Once I found potato chips in my blood [sandwich].”
• Kat: “[My mom] always was yelling at me, I think she enjoyed grounding us for sport.” (52:53)
• Bill Maher: “My mother would cut it diagonally—then flip it and make a butterfly.” (54:06)

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8. Political Cynicism & Urban Leadership (62:00)

• Adam skewers California politics, mocking Mayor Karen Bass’s absence during crises ("She’s trying on ceremonial garb in Uganda") and Newsom’s unwillingness to engage with unscripted, non-friendly interviewers.
• Adam: “All you guys do is speak truth to power, but you’re scared shitless of Joe Rogan. So what is it?” (62:51)
• Katie Porter gets roasted for her behavior and lack of real-world experience.

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9. Gender Cues, Social Signaling (66:03)

• Extended riff on how leg-crossing and nose rings serve as political/cultural identity signals. Adam: “The nose stud is the equivalent signaling to the guy who’s doing the deep leg cross—you're saying to the world: here’s how I vote.” (68:32)

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10. News & Topical Weirdness (71:15)

• The panel reacts in real-time to Andrew’s news segment, with stories ranging from absurd medical claims to digital safety.

Circumcision-Autism Conspiracy

• News story claims a link between circumcision, Tylenol, and autism (71:27).
• Adam shares Howie Mandel’s legendary foreskin-in-backyard anecdote (“the dog dug it up and ate it”), with riffing on whether dogs become gay afterward (73:09).

OnlyFans & College Campus Safety

• Panel riffs on OnlyFans dangers and the etymology of its name, illustrating the generational and technological gap (“Guys who don’t have enough money to buy a prostitute but do have a smartphone.”) (80:59)
• Societal shift: Dr. Drew notes that modern sex work has “gone digital,” requiring no physical contact.

New CA Law: Ad Volume Limits

• Adam lampoons California politicians’ focus on regulating ad volume instead of handling "big" urgent issues.
  Adam: “Let’s really focus...the insignificant that nobody gives a about. That’s what I’m here to solve.” (84:54)

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11. True Crime & Infamous Names (87:30)

• Riff on infamous criminal names—why we advertise full names for criminals versus trying to protect family reputations.
• Sidebar: Polanski extradition, “To Catch a Predator” voice bit.

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12. Final Banter, Gift Presentation, Wrap Up (93:52)

• Show wraps with a surprise gift of custom artwork from Rodney’s, Adam self-deprecating about his kids not caring, and roundtable thanks to his guests.

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

• On Comedy Dynamics:
  Adam to Kyle: “You destroy comedy. You’re like a black hole where comedy goes to die.” (03:27)

• On Subway Tile:
  Adam: “It’s miles and miles of tiles...I should open a tile store. But what I’m saying is I understood they did things differently back then…but didn’t it seem like an inordinate amount of time and labor? Every single one set by hand, grouted and all—unnecessary. It’s ornate, it’s there for decoration. It’s unnecessary.” (08:30)

• On Parenting:
  Kat Timpf: “My husband’s like, it’s called a playpen. I’m like, it’s a fucking cage.” (24:57)

• On CA Crime & “Responsibility”:
  Adam: “‘Oh, you ran into your house to take a shit and left your laptop inside of your locked car? That’s on you.’” (17:18)

• On Tipping Culture:
  Adam: “I want one button that is like, this is subpar service, but you don’t want to go full Grinch, no tip. I'll go 1 to 15% and let the gods decide what this gets.” (43:57)

• On Parental Love (Sandwich Test):
  Adam: “The time spent on your child and loving, and there’s nothing in it for you. Right. Except for a happy child.” (51:07)
  Bill Maher: “My mother would cut it diagonally—then flip it and make a butterfly.” (54:06)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

| Segment | Timestamp | |----------------------------------------|--------------| | Opening jokes & NYC banter | 02:33–06:00 | | Subway rats & tile conspiracy | 06:58–09:52 | | LA vs. NY, crime and infrastructure | 17:17–21:00 | | Kat Timpf on parenting, recovery | 24:45–28:39 | | Breast surgery and TV “rules” | 26:38–29:55 | | Comedy industry/standup dynamics | 39:01–41:05 | | Tipping culture and panel ideas | 41:05–45:45 | | Sandwich theory & parenting reveals | 50:02–56:03 | | Modern sex work/OnlyFans | 80:06–83:51 | | CA law on streaming ad volume | 83:51–86:58 | | News wrap and infamous names | 87:30–92:29 | | Show finale and gift presentation | 93:52–95:43 |

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Takeaways for Unfamiliar Listeners

• This episode is a comedy-driven panel, with repeated, sharp observations about city living, crime, public infrastructure, society’s shifting norms, and political hypocrisy.
• The hosts blend personal anecdotes (embarrassing and otherwise), pop culture bits, and impersonations—especially "Bill Maher," "Donald Trump," plus topical bits about OnlyFans, circumcision, and the absurdities of LA and NY.
• Despite the pointed humor and occasional risqué content, the dialogue is surprisingly personal—especially when touching on topics like cancer recovery and nostalgia for parental care.

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Final Thoughts

Whether you’re a long-time listener or new to The Adam Carolla Show, this live episode is a quintessential sample of Adam’s comedic worldview: skeptical, brash, deeply unfiltered, but ultimately grounded in real life experience. The panel’s chemistry is snappy throughout, making for a fast, funny, and surprisingly insightful listening experience.

Transcript

[Adam Carolla]

Well, live from New York City, Rodney's Comedy Club, right in the city. Cat Timp is going to join me, Dr. Drew and Kyle Dunnigan as well. So we're loaded for bear. Enjoy a live ACS episode. Bet Online. Hey, it's Adam Carolla from the Adam Carolla Show. Football season is in full swing and there's no better place to get in on the action than Bet Online. You're number one source for all things football. Betonline gives you more ways to play with the latest odds, breaking news, live scores, and even in game betting. So you never miss out on a moment from every NFL and college game and matchup. Betonline is your place for all things football. And if you love MLB or UFC or NHL, anything with letters in it or futures, even Betonline keeps you locked into the action all year long. And don't Forget the BETOnline VIP program with exclusive level up bonuses, weekly cash boosts and rewards designed for serious players. Head to BetOnline today. That's BetOnline. The game starts here.

[Bill Maher]

I'm right about a lot of things.

[Adam Carolla]

That people have zero clue that they even know is going on.

[Dr. Drew]

Oh.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, okay.

[Bill Maher]

HBO Max presents a new comedy comedy.

[Announcer]

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[Dr. Drew]

You've been distracted, Ron. I feel like you're hiding something.

[Adam Carolla]

There's so much badness in this world.

[Bill Maher]

From the creators of I Think youk Should Leave. People are Nuts out There starring Tim Robinson.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh my God, you're disgusting. These are my work clothes.

[Announcer]

The HBO original series the Chair Company.

[Bill Maher]

Premieres this Sunday at 10pm on HBO Max.

[Adam Carolla]

This episode of the Adam Crawler show is brought to you by SimpliSafe.

[Announcer]

Live from Rodney's in New York City. This is the Adam Carolla Show. Adam's guest today, Cat Timf, Kyle Dunnigan and Dr. Drew. And now earlier today he sprained his thumb trying to spell Mandami Adam Caroll.

[Adam Carolla]

Hey, thanks you guys. I've never been here before, so thanks for coming out tonight. Kat Timp is making her way from Gutfeld as we speak, so she's going to be here probably about a half hour, but we can slum it with Dr. Drew and Kyle Dunnigan before that. So why don't we just bring out Dr. Drew and Kyle Dunnegan?

[Kyle Dunnigan]

Thunderous like the old days.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, Kyle's here. Thanks for coming out. I'll sit off here and talk to you too. It works better this way.

[Kyle Dunnigan]

Cattle Sit there.

[Adam Carolla]

Dr. Drew's doing a standup set later on tonight for the standup show just.

[Kyle Dunnigan]

In case you're you know how that happens? Adam goes, work up four minutes. I go, adam, you know I'm not funny. You know I'm not a comedian. He goes, yeah, you'll do it. You can do it.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, not only are you not funny, you destroy comedy. Other people sit back idly and watch comedy. You're like a black hole where comedy goes to die. No, no, your comedy in particular. You are a sack of baking soda to my comedy fire.

[Kyle Dunnigan]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

So it's not. It's not that he's neutral on comedy like you guys. You know, you're not going to add anything, but you're not going to subtract anything. He actually takes comedy and hides it somewhere, never to be found again. So now he's gonna take that mentality, he's gonna bring it to the stage, do it myself, and he's gonna do it himself. And I got a lot. And Kyle, I know you're here. You're full time here, New Yorker. Oh, yeah, I'm here all the time. It's great to be here. What a club. You know, Rodney, I gotta tell you, everyone worships you and looks up to you, but the one time I met you, you were kind of a douche to me. I gotta say. Sorry, I didn't know what a talent you were. Good God. Okay, you don't have to take cheap shots. We're doing Loveline, the TV show on mtv. I just went to your dress room to say hi. Yeah, yeah, you remember that? Just barge into a big star's dressing room. Why. Why wouldn't I say hello? No, I was. I knocked politely. You were in your bathrobe? Yeah. Get out doesn't mean come in. Okay. Great guy, Great guy. It was a solid corridor. I couldn't hear. I just assumed. You're inviting me in, Rodney. Now let me tell you something. The people that wear terry cloth bathrobes do it for comfort. And the ones who wear the silk ones do it so you can see their nutsack. That's right.

[Kyle Dunnigan]

Which one is Rodney?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, he's the silk one.

[Kyle Dunnigan]

Okay, got it.

[Adam Carolla]

There's plausible deniability because you just tie it in an X, but everything is silk and slippery. And then when you sit down, the sash comes undone, the thing spills open and your nut sack falls out. It's a power nut sack. Move this silk bathroom. I was taught to live with lead with the nut sack. Well, it worked. So I was in there. We were just kind of having a sack to sack talk. Hey, two guys sack the stack I love it. And I just said, have a good show.

[Kyle Dunnigan]

We met him again on the radio show with his wife. Oh, that's where the flowers came in.

[Adam Carolla]

His wife had a business where she. I don't say grew, but she obtained giant flowers.

[Kyle Dunnigan]

Africanized roses.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

Let's not bring race into this, but they're a regular rose color. But yeah, it was some downstairs, there was no rolls, if you know what I mean. They were giant, you know, hit with gamma radiation flowers is basically what I would. Would assume. But anyway. So, you know. But anyway, Rodney, I know you like the spleef back in the day, which is weird, you know, because you think of him as a highball guy, not a weed guy, but Rodney, like to. Like to toke it out a little bit, take the edge off.

Yeah.

People break into my dressing room. Yeah, I didn't break in. I. Not stressing me out. Okay, so club here. By the way, they're making CO20 in the bathroom. I had a.

[Bill Maher]

All right.

[Adam Carolla]

I did.

I did notice something. I rode the subway today. Whoa. Yeah. Yeah. And as a weird thing, being from la, I did see a giant rat running around.

Yeah.

The terminal there. And I was the only one tracks or just. No, up top. Up top. And I was the only one who was reacting to it. Everyone else was, like, stepping over it or grabbing a bite of pizza off it and then handing it back. Like, everyone was well versed with the rat. It was sort of like, your rats are our homeless. You know, in la, we just step over homeless guys. There's a homeless guy taking a dump. You're like, honey, out of the way. He's taking a dump here. Guys freaked out on fentanyl. We walk right past it, but if we see a rat, it stops us. That's a big one. That's a big deal. So this rat, who had horrible posture, by the way, I want to get him one of those copper fit bras, you know, but he's running around and no one else is reacting but me. So I don't want to seem like a hysteric, but here's the thing. I notice every time I come to New York, and I think I noticed it on the way in, coming through the Lincoln Tunnel. And then I noticed it today in the subway. Tile, Tile everywhere.

[Kyle Dunnigan]

Guess what they call it? Subway.

[Adam Carolla]

Subway tile. And, you know, I've set my fair share of Tile 4 by 4 tile. And if you really. And then I looked it up, it was like 665 miles of track. Wow.

In. In.

In. In New York, which Is miles and miles and miles of tile.

[Kyle Dunnigan]

Yeah.

[Andrew (News Reader)]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

So what I. They tile. Everything's tiled. And so it's like. It's kind of a weird thing. Like, if you had a bathroom and someone said, well, tile the shower enclosure. And your wife went, yeah, okay, but let's just do the whole wall. You go, come on, bitch. That's too much now. That's too much. What, are you trying to kill me? That's too much. They tile. It's miles and miles of tiles, everybody. I should open a tile store. But what I'm saying is I understood they did things differently back then. Yes, but didn't it seem like an inordinate amount of time and labor? Every single one set by hand, grouted and all unnecessary. Totally. It's not like the tile. It's not like you pop a tile off and the ceiling comes down. It's just. It's. It's ornate. It's there for decoration. It's unnecessary. It's not doing anything. But yet there it is. Yeah. And it's tile. They must have had some kind of deal with, like, big tile.

[Kyle Dunnigan]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

I think LaGuardia must have been getting, like, kickbacks from, like, big tile or big porcelain or something like that, because he literally went, we need 200 billion units of this 4x4 tile. That is not accomplishing anything.

[Kyle Dunnigan]

There's got to be a story here. There has to be.

[Adam Carolla]

There's got to be a tile related story. And I'll tell you what, I'm going to blow the lid off this as soon as I show Ask Croc what is going on. And it's all through the tunnels. Like, I get it. It's nice, but la0 tile. We just. Or maybe we have tile. It's just all graffiti on over it. I. I wouldn't know what it was, but there was also. I was on the train for, like, 14 minutes, and I was like, nothing weird has happened yet. Like, this may. This may go against their. You know, I've seen the warriors. I understand. I understand. I've seen warriors and Fort Apache, the Bronx. So I think I got a pretty good handle on what goes on.

[Bill Maher]

I had the guy over here with the boombox. Oh, you had that.

[Adam Carolla]

You took. Took the subway here.

[Bill Maher]

Sides.

[Kyle Dunnigan]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

The whole card wants to hear.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. I had the guy who decided everyone wanted to hear mariachi music, and this guy got on and he had a guitar and he had his wife, and she was playing the tambourine and he was singing, but the train was rocking and he couldn't really get his footing because he's wearing cowboy boots and he's holding a guitar that's bigger than he is because he's like this big and he's bouncing around. He's trying to steady himself against a post, but it's not working. And that's when I came up with this invention. This is called busking, by the way. When you go out, you play, and you get paid. It's called busking the subway busking belt, where you just pop it on, snap it in front of the post, cinch it up, and then you can stand there, steady as she goes, cranking out la cucaracha or Guantanamo, whatever it is.

[Bill Maher]

Not big tam on that, though. Total addressable market.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, you're not going to make a lot of money. You don't think there are a lot of mariachi buskers? Well, that's five more than you sold.

[Bill Maher]

Well, you know, the economy of scale.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

You have to make every one of those by hand.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, who else would put up, like I was going to say, Japan has a, you know, robust subway, but they wouldn't put up with mariachi bands roving through there with it.

[Bill Maher]

Did the tambourine go off the whole time? If it was.

[Adam Carolla]

She had the tambourine. He was playing the guitar, he started singing, and then she joined in and harmonized. And then the door opened and everybody piled off. I'm just saying, I don't know. You know, when you see people out doing what they're doing at a certain point, isn't it less work just to get a job? Like, isn't it just easier? Just go to the Amazon hub, get medical and dental. You know what I mean? Smoke a little reefer in the parking lot during your break. At some point, you can do a slip and fall and Sue Bezos. You know what I mean? Claim your back's up and you can't work, go home, get paid, watch tv. Like, isn't it a better world?

[Bill Maher]

Yeah, that makes. That makes more sense. Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

Did you get to the tile? Tile.

[Kyle Dunnigan]

So this is how Adam's brain works.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Kyle Dunnigan]

If he sees something that catches his attention, it means something. And of course, this means something. So this was part of the hygienic design movement of the early 20th century. Clean, classic, loose sense of order, modernity. It was consciously. And it resisted grime and graffiti.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Kyle Dunnigan]

But then I thought of the time.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Kyle Dunnigan]

And non porous.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. No, nothing. Nothing handles a snot rocket from a hobo. Like porcelain with baked enamel on it. No, it is not rocket. Free since 1921.

[Kyle Dunnigan]

But then I thought of the tiles and the pasading of freeway tunnels.

[Announcer]

Yeah.

[Kyle Dunnigan]

Which always looked like we did something wrong there with those tiles.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, you're right. Everything needs to be hosed down.

[Kyle Dunnigan]

Everything in la. Everything.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Kyle Dunnigan]

You can't get the tiles.

[Adam Carolla]

We're a society that has jumped the shark on porous materials. We can no longer be trusted with porous materials because porous materials, like you. Cement is porous. A concrete is cement with. With aggregate in it. I don't want to bore you, but the point is, is it's porous.

[Kyle Dunnigan]

Why would you bore us with 10 minutes on porous material?

[Adam Carolla]

Portland cement. About that. One part aggregate, one part Portland cement, two scoops of sand and decompose granite will work if you have. No. So I see pieces of gum that have been there in the cement, in this well, by the way, they're now part of the cement. They've become the cement. I'm scared if someone scraped it up, the sidewalk would fall apart. It's literally the fabric of the. Some of that shit's been in there since the Eisenhower administration. It's not going anywhere. But we can't do porous anymore. We have. We have a tunnel in la. Once a week, they paint it and the gang bangers and taggers follow the guys who paint and are like, is that set up yet? And the guy's like, no, the primer's still a little tacky. All right, give it a minute. All right, well, I'll just. I'll just shake my can here and then we're going behind you. I'll tell you the weirdest. I'll tell you the strangest, almost eeriest site in, In Los Angeles. And I, and I took pictures of it, but it. It was sort of unbelievable.

[Kyle Dunnigan]

Oh, what is this gonna be? There's a lot of unbelievable things in our town.

[Adam Carolla]

This is a. This is a weird.

[Kyle Dunnigan]

By the way, I was in la, downtown la, two days ago, Tuesday. Car got broken into your car? Yeah, blew up my passenger window.

[Adam Carolla]

You can't park a car, really.

[Kyle Dunnigan]

Language.

[Bill Maher]

Christian podcast.

[Adam Carolla]

Hold on. But they. Did they leave the stripper in the trunk or they take her too?

[Kyle Dunnigan]

Gone.

[Adam Carolla]

Gone. Tammy's gone. Holy shit.

[Kyle Dunnigan]

Tammy.

[Adam Carolla]

Tammy. Tammy. Sorry. Why did bother buying all that hooker kibble? And she's gone. It has all the nutrients they need, okay? They need more potassium than you and I drew. I'll tell you after the show why prostitutes need so much more potassium and the hooker kibble. I'm not doing a commercial for the hooker Kibble. It's just. It's available. Check my site. Go to Amazon. Click through the site. Okay. Sodium and potassium. No. Okay. Okay. Here's what they steal out of your car.

[Kyle Dunnigan]

Oh, you really want the story?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I do.

[Kyle Dunnigan]

I do.

[Adam Carolla]

They broke the window.

[Bill Maher]

Got your dildo.

[Kyle Dunnigan]

Woman that's worked for us for three decades. Had a stroke.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh.

[Kyle Dunnigan]

So Susan goes, I'll take your purse. Actually, the hospital gave it to her. She put.

[Adam Carolla]

This isn't a funny story at all.

[Bill Maher]

Wow.

[Kyle Dunnigan]

I know. She put the purse in this car that I drove the next day. I didn't know was in there. And. And this lady then told us, subsequent to this purse being stolen out of the car, that she had a lot of cash in it.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, and her ex husband's ashes, but that's all they got. Could be all they got is her beloved husband of 41 years. Ashes and a bunch of cash. All right, so thanks for bringing us down. Yeah. Anyway, back to la.

[Kyle Dunnigan]

It sucks.

[Adam Carolla]

What was it? Well, here's the beauty of la. Anyone you talk to in la, go, there's a purse in the car. That's on you, bro. I do like. I do like crimes on you. Oh, you ran into your house to take a and left your laptop inside of your locked car. That's on you. Okay. It's quite a society. We've crafted it too easy. Yeah. Oh, you didn't put rebar over your bay window. Oh, wait a minute. You went to sleep. That's on you, bro. You should have been up with a shotgun, patrolling in your pajamas in the living room. Oh, you had a family. That's on. That's on. That's on you, bro. That's on you. You got nice stuff. Yeah, that's on you. Oh, you bought a watch. Okay, that's on. I wish you were kidding. You drove a car more than $11,000 it worth. That's on you, bro. It was your fault for eating out. You shouldn't have gone outside. All right, where was I? Oh, okay. I saw something amazing. It was a. Was a weird harbinger, but it was there. There's a freeway off ramp or on ramp or overpass or whatever. And it was like in. In Burbank. Sun Valleys on the way to the Burbank airport. And it was down the 5 Freeway. And I used to pass it every time I went to the Burbank Airport. And the thing that was crazy about it is, is it was covered with graffiti. They got about halfway. They built it sort of halfway. They got up and they started to turn and. You know. Remember in the movie Speed?

[Bill Maher]

Yes. That's what I thought.

[Adam Carolla]

Remember Keanu Reeves?

Yeah.

Jump it. Yeah. And they built it and they. They. It was like 80ft apart, by the way. It was the exact same level, except for somehow the bus got launched in the air. That movie was so fake, bro. Yeah. Anyway, it was like that, but it was tagged, right? And so when you went past it, it looked like an old overpass that they were demoing out because it was so covered with graffiti. But the reality was is every six feet they built that night, they got six feet worth of graffiti on the side of it. So your mind played tricks on you because it just looked like an old tag overpass. But really, literally, the taggers just waited till the guys went home that night, and then it was like a essay or whoever. Jews talk. There's.

[Bill Maher]

That's it.

[Adam Carolla]

There's another 10ft of fresh concrete.

[Bill Maher]

We can deface four more days of Hanukkah. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Hey. I say hey. I say rattle that can of cryon and take that drle for a spin, bro.

[Bill Maher]

Hey, Yam kapura just ended, eh?

[Adam Carolla]

Hey, who's this seat for? Elijah? Hey, leave it for the Prophet. Hey, come on, man. You got to leave that for the Prophet, man.

[Bill Maher]

Come on.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, boy.

All right.

[Bill Maher]

Cancelled.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, we're canceled. But here's the interesting thing I was saying. I don't know about saying this to Drew, and I was complaining about this, but La LA is so bad now that we. We started putting barbed wire around the freeway signs. Barbed wire, Razor wire, Razor wire, concertine wire. I was complaining about that for. For a long time when they started, and then we started. Basically, people who own cars have to weld grates under their cars and take their catalytic converters and put them in a cage underneath your car? Can you imagine the state of things when you're literally welding a cage underneath your car so your catalytic converter cannot be removed? And then they're pulling all the copper out of the street lights on the bridges and all that. So we have this 6th street bridge, and it costs a billion doll dollars, but it's all dark now, and it doesn't work. And they were talking to a city councilman the other week, and he's like, well, we'd like to put the copper wire back in, but we can't because it'll just be stolen immediately.

[Bill Maher]

So that's on the bridge, though. That's on the bridge.

[Adam Carolla]

We're doing what happened now, Hydro. Well, you know those workouts where you finish and you think, did I get any stronger? I don't know. With hydro there's no guessing. Just 20 minutes. By the way, 86% of your muscles get worked easy on the joints, but still gets you sweating. Yeah, I gotta tell you, my back was a little bit sore the other day and I was like, do I want to do the hydro? And it's so low impact and it's so freeing that I did it. I actually felt better after I worked out on hydro. Now they've got the new hydro arc. Most advanced rower they've ever built. It'll make you stronger, smarter and more consistent. It's got hydrometrics. It's first of its kind. Performance tracking measures your power, endurance, precision. Every single time you row, you can literally watch your strength build stroke by stroke. Plus personalized workout recommendations. No more guessing what class to take. And it adapts to you love. These guys use their equipment. I use my hydro every day. It's hydro, right?

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[Dr. Drew]

The ring you will die in seven days.

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[Adam Carolla]

This is my kind of place.

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[Adam Carolla]

Something in the blood.

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[Adam Carolla]

Dude. Oh, Cat. Tim. This here, buddy. Hey, Cat.

[Bill Maher]

Hey, hey, hey.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, I'm leaving.

[Bill Maher]

Leaving, I guess.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, okay. I'm sorry.

[Bill Maher]

You need a microphone.

[Adam Carolla]

I'll get you a microphone.

[Bill Maher]

I'll let you have mine.

[Adam Carolla]

Here, listen, ladies don't need microphones. Okay? We'll say what they're thinking.

[Dr. Drew]

Hey, Drew. Did you miss me?

[Adam Carolla]

I did, yeah. Here you go. Sorry. Sorry, Cat. I was just attacking Los Angeles and then we can get. Yes, I am right to it. So this. This person was saying they can't put the copper wire back into the street lights until we can figure out a way to build a cage around the wiring so they can't pull. So I basically said LA is going to look like a vending machine in prison. You ever see a vending machine? Like a facility and it has that cage around it? All the drugs, all the deodorant all the batteries, all the spray paint, everything is in a cage. We literally have to put a cage around everything. Because our society is deteriorated to such a point, that's all we can think to do.

[Kyle Dunnigan]

City council is going to take it on.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, yeah, they'll take that on. Kat, how are you doing? How is Gutfeld tonight? Great.

[Dr. Drew]

Also today, we just got in the mail the cage for my baby. He's crawling.

[Adam Carolla]

You got a baby cage? Good.

[Dr. Drew]

My. My husband's like. He's like. He's like, it's called a playpen. I'm like, it's a fucking cage.

[Bill Maher]

Cage.

[Adam Carolla]

It's a cage. Yeah. Smart.

[Dr. Drew]

It's a cage.

[Kyle Dunnigan]

Her son is athletic.

[Dr. Drew]

Yes.

[Kyle Dunnigan]

Six months of age.

[Dr. Drew]

Really not get that for me, but yeah, he's moving.

[Adam Carolla]

He's moving. So you got a cage. Yeah, I didn't. I didn't get a cage for my kids. And a Mexican stole one of them and I haven't seen them since. Yeah, so you're smart.

[Dr. Drew]

He just tries to kill himself all day. I mean, who among us.

[Adam Carolla]

Did you baby proof everything? No. Oh, good for you.

[Dr. Drew]

That's what the kids.

[Adam Carolla]

It's such a hassle, all the baby proof stuff. You know, they're putting the caps inside of the. By the way, I put a butter knife in a socket when I was three. Guess who learned not to put butter knives in sockets? It was super valuable for me.

[Kyle Dunnigan]

Do that with a fork.

[Adam Carolla]

It's also how my hair got this way. So Cat did. Did Gutfeld today. I think we'll. I'll see you tomorrow. Drew and I are gonna see.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah, we're all gonna hang out.

[Dr. Drew]

Yeah, it's gonna be great.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, cool.

[Adam Carolla]

I'll go too. Oh, it's just kind of. It's a comedy show. Oh, okay. Yeah.

[Dr. Drew]

I actually don't know who the other guest is. I don't know. No, Tyrus is not here.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. All right. So sorry. Sorry. How's your health? I know you've been through a lot.

[Dr. Drew]

I. I cut my tits off, and now I have no more cancer.

[Adam Carolla]

Thank you.

[Kyle Dunnigan]

Although the funniest thing you said about your tits on the show was right in the aftermath of the whole Sydney Sweeney thing.

[Dr. Drew]

Yeah. That. I almost wish I went bigger because, like, that whole skin. I have the implants, and I have more titty now than I ever did before I got cancer. But, yeah, in the aftermath of that, I'm like, maybe I should have just gone ridiculous because, like, very rarely do you get the opportunity. Nobody could say anything.

[Adam Carolla]

No.

[Bill Maher]

Right.

[Dr. Drew]

I Could have gone ridiculous, and they would have been like, we're so glad you're healthy.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Dr. Drew]

And I don't have nipples yet, but when I do. December 4th. Mark your calendars, everyone.

[Adam Carolla]

December 4th. I saw the date. I saw the date on the GoFundMe. I contributed. I contributed as a nipple man. Yeah. Although I do want some input on the areola size, but we can talk. We'll talk.

[Dr. Drew]

I can also get those as big as I want.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, that's what I want to talk about.

[Kyle Dunnigan]

Adam's a little extreme on that one.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I'm kind of a baloney guy. Not so much pepperoni. Not so much pepperoni. More baloney.

[Dr. Drew]

I should just. I should just bring you to my appointment.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, I'll consult. Yeah. I'll tell you what.

[Dr. Drew]

My nipple consultant, Adam Carolla, does he.

[Adam Carolla]

Do breast reduction as well? Because he can just bring by the before four book, and I'll just kill some time in the lobby. I would love just to walk into the. The ones who do the breast reduction and just go, look, thinking about bringing my old lady out here. But first, I want to see that before. Okay. And can you check this out? What's protocol? Okay, I can take it to the bathroom, right? I don't have to leave it. I want someone to steal it. Do they. Do they tattoo the nipples so they.

[Dr. Drew]

Actually can make a protrusion out of the skin? So they're doing that on December 4th. And then after that, I'm getting the tattoos, so it's gonna. It's gonna look great. And then, like, whenever I show them off, it's like, I'm brave.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're brave. And by the way, it's. It's unclear what. What the rules are about that as far as cable TV or network does.

[Dr. Drew]

They'Re not technically tits. So can I just.

[Adam Carolla]

We had a guy on the man show a million years ago, a guest who was like, a professional gambler, and he lost the bed or somebody said, I'll give you $10,000 to get breast implants.

[Dr. Drew]

I saw this guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

We dated for several months after his appearance. It was that good a job. And so we wanted to show his man tits, you know? And then the network was like, I don't know. I don't think we can. And I was like, it's a dude. You know? So it was. It's not like the founding fathers hammered this one out before they died. They left some things open to interpretation.

[Kyle Dunnigan]

1780S guy.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, there was a lot we Were breaking a lot of ground and bras on that show. And there was a lot of arguments as to what you could show. Here's. Here's my argument. I've seen the biggest Loser. I've seen a 700 pound dude wearing dolphin shorts and man tits just flopping out to here with stretch marks on it. I'm sorry. If that's acceptable during prime time, then your fake tattooed titties are just going to be fine on Gutfeld. Thank you.

[Dr. Drew]

Thank you. I appreciate the support.

[Adam Carolla]

It's weird.

[Kyle Dunnigan]

I feel like you have to consult Cam, though. Yeah, he needs to have a vote on how this is exposed.

[Dr. Drew]

Oh, I've been concerned.

[Adam Carolla]

Cam, your husband?

[Dr. Drew]

My husband.

[Adam Carolla]

That's. That's your greatest gift of all time? He names an auto part and says, I hope you're talking to Cam. Yes. Cam is her husband.

[Dr. Drew]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Dr. Drew]

He's the luckiest man in the world.

[Adam Carolla]

I think you got him for like the next 40 years. Like, who's gonna take that trash out? Yeah, okay. Me with no nipples. I don't think so.

[Dr. Drew]

Yeah, exactly.

[Adam Carolla]

Get moving.

[Dr. Drew]

Exactly.

[Adam Carolla]

I've heard her.

[Kyle Dunnigan]

Like that at the house.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah.

[Kyle Dunnigan]

Can we make dinner? Because the cancer and all.

[Dr. Drew]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I didn't change a diaper for months.

[Adam Carolla]

No.

[Dr. Drew]

Because I was like, cam, I have cancer.

[Kyle Dunnigan]

Yeah, but then you turn into cancer.

[Dr. Drew]

You know, the whole cancer thing. So, like, I don't have cancer anymore. But there's. Arguably, I'm still recently enough out of it that I still can claim the ambiguous cancer thing.

[Adam Carolla]

I'd say cancer. I think it's like being a Marine. They don't go from a Marine. They just. You're always a Marine. You're always cancerous.

[Dr. Drew]

I agree. I'm always cancerous.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. I'm not an oncologist, but that's how I would approach it if I was. You are cancer. Yeah, I agree. I agree. So you're basically just living with an adult white slave at this point.

[Dr. Drew]

What's he going to do, Leave me?

[Adam Carolla]

Well, I would tell him.

[Andrew (News Reader)]

He.

[Adam Carolla]

Listen, here's what I would. No, he can.

[Dr. Drew]

He can't.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Adulterous affair on the side. Yeah, but he can't actually confront you.

[Dr. Drew]

He can't.

[Adam Carolla]

No. But if I was Cam's publicist slash attorney, I would tell him, listen, Cam, you got to lose a nut.

[Dr. Drew]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

I mean, you don't need both nuts. And you could easily lose the nut and get back on equal footing here. Otherwise you're just taking the trouble out.

[Dr. Drew]

Is if he gets. I didn't Think of that. He could get worse cancer himself.

[Adam Carolla]

He could go full Tom Green and get out of the trash detail with you.

[Dr. Drew]

That's pretty much the only way. Otherwise it'd be real difficult.

[Adam Carolla]

The male version of the nudicle, I think we'd call. What I'm saying is, is, you know, reconstructive tattoo, all sorts of stuff. But for a guy, when you lose a nut, they just put a marble in there.

[Kyle Dunnigan]

Things over the years, some were like sort of glass, like a marble somewhere.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Kyle Dunnigan]

Rubbery. They're different things.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, do you remember Larry Flynn?

[Andrew (News Reader)]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

You remember what he had in his nut sack?

[Kyle Dunnigan]

Did he have the pump for his penis?

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. Yeah, he had a penis pump.

[Kyle Dunnigan]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Larry Flynn, God rest his soul. He's up there. He's playing ping pong with Abe Lincoln right now.

[Bill Maher]

Right now you meet Hitler.

[Adam Carolla]

I mean Abe Hitler, one of the craftiest politicians ever to come down the pike. Yeah, he's up there with George Washington and John Denver. Just playing Connect 4 right now. If I know that Larry Flint. But Larry. Larry lost the use of his penis. And so he. He had a pump installed. But I asked him where the pump, you know, how do you. And it was in his nut sack. Was the. Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

Manual or did he just hit a button? I feel like that's an important pump. Maybe a manual.

[Kyle Dunnigan]

They used to be more manual. Now there's kind of a.

[Bill Maher]

Just a switch. Okay, good.

[Adam Carolla]

What do you mean? Just a self.

[Kyle Dunnigan]

Like it's fluid and they push it and the fluid goes.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, but you gotta still gotta pump the fluid somehow.

[Kyle Dunnigan]

I think they've got a.

[Adam Carolla]

No, they don't. I know more in you. They don't.

[Kyle Dunnigan]

I haven't seen one.

[Adam Carolla]

They don't have a little pump in there. It's supposed to run off electricity.

[Bill Maher]

Psi. You want to make sure it's right.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, no, I'll bet it's fluid.

[Kyle Dunnigan]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

But they still gotta have a reservoir. And you got to give it a couple shots.

[Kyle Dunnigan]

Then it definitely. When he had one, it was definitely a pun.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Kyle Dunnigan]

He told us all.

[Adam Carolla]

I hope he's not dyslexic. Imagine grabbing the wrong ball, coming down on it like. Ah.

[Kyle Dunnigan]

They have other ones that pump from the tip too.

[Adam Carolla]

They have tip pumpers? Yeah. Wow. What won't they think of? What is that? Wait. From the head?

[Kyle Dunnigan]

I don't know. I've never. Never really got involved in that world.

[Bill Maher]

Well then be seem to know a lot about it.

[Adam Carolla]

No. Yeah, you seem to be an expert.

[Kyle Dunnigan]

No, no. Expert.

[Bill Maher]

No.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, so anyway. If you lose your erection or your ability to achieve one, there's. There's a hydraulic pump that can be inserted.

[Kyle Dunnigan]

Urologists claim those are some of their happiest patients.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, really?

[Kyle Dunnigan]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I. I agree. I don't know. It's got to be weird, though, because.

[Kyle Dunnigan]

Because you're have a pump in your test.

[Dr. Drew]

Yeah, sure.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, all these guys, I mean, they're very skilled surgeons, obviously, you know, and at some point, that kid was, like, 21, and he was, like, going into med school, and he had a head full of great ideas, and he's like, I'm going to Africa to save kids with hair lips and do reconstructive surgery on people that stepped on landmines. Now he's in Beverly Hills with Larry Flynn. Spread out. He's fixing. Handling his. You know, somebody's dabbing his forehead. That's what I'd do. I'd make sure I had someone dabbing my forehead constantly. I don't know what happened to forehead dabbing. That was a big part of surgery when I was young. Everyone who did surgery had their forehead dab. Now there's almost no forehead dabbing. Come on, Drew.

[Kyle Dunnigan]

Sorry. I'll bring it back.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. What's up? God damn central air.

[Kyle Dunnigan]

Yeah, Yeah, I think so.

[Adam Carolla]

So.

[Bill Maher]

Oh.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, Donald Trump.

[Kyle Dunnigan]

Oh.

[Adam Carolla]

Donald Trump. I heard that. I heard. Yeah, I heard. You going after Letitia James.

[Bill Maher]

What a nasty woman. She's such a nasty woman. That Leticia. That's so terrific. She came after Trump first. I don't know if you know this, but she came after Trump. Yeah, not a good idea.

[Adam Carolla]

Not good.

[Bill Maher]

Don't come after Trump. No, that's so terrific.

[Adam Carolla]

Had to take a mug shot.

[Bill Maher]

And she's a two. You know, she's a two. I'll tell you, the most important thing for a woman is to be a beautiful. Yeah, you're a beautiful woman right here. She's terrific. But that Leticia, she's probably a two.

[Adam Carolla]

I got it. I want to give. I want to. Donald, I want to give the two. Her do. She has an ample bosom. I mean that.

[Bill Maher]

She's got an ample everything. You know, if everything's ample, the bosom doesn't count. Adam, you know this. You know this. It's the tiny ladies with the big tits.

[Adam Carolla]

That's for me. Okay.

[Bill Maher]

Just being honest. Don't act like you don't like it, boys. Suddenly, they pulled back on me on that. They really pulled back.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, well, you may cross the line, Donald.

[Bill Maher]

Be there.

[Adam Carolla]

You know, well, let's move on. To a happier subject. I mean, with this whole Middle Eastern thing coming to a close, I mean, Nobel Peace Prize. Come on, Don. Nobel Peace Prize for you.

I did.

[Bill Maher]

Did that happen? I know.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, yeah, yeah. No, they got.

[Bill Maher]

That happened. She's like, get out more and watch TV more.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. I don't know. I don't know what side of the issue you guys are on, but one side is returning their live hostages and the others returning their dead hostages, which is you're not dealing with a great organization. When they're like, I don't know where all the hostages are. They're kind of spread out, like in the ground. But we'll see if we can find them and return them. Oh, okay. Hamas. Thank you. So he may get the Nobel Peace Prize. And he's. He's pissed because he feels like Obama got it for doing nothing.

[Bill Maher]

Absolutely nothing. What did he do?

[Dr. Drew]

Vibes.

[Bill Maher]

Tell me one thing he did. What do you say? Vibes.

[Dr. Drew]

Yeah. You got it for vibes.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

Good vibes. I doubt that. I doubt that very. You know, you're a nasty woman that's saying that to me. That's a terrible thing to say to Trump. That's a terrible thing.

[Adam Carolla]

Nobel Peace Prize. Now if he does get the Nobel Peace Prize, don't anyone watch Fox that day. Definitely watch msnbc, because that's where the entertainment's gonna come in.

[Dr. Drew]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Was it a war? Was it a skirmish? It felt a lot more like a skirmish than a war to me. Why?

[Dr. Drew]

People of the Middle east might actually be bad.

[Adam Carolla]

We think there should be a three state solution, but he only got to two.

[Dr. Drew]

Think about those people who lost their jobs.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. What about the hostage takers, the hostage keepers, the hostage feeders, the ones that had to hostages it. Yes. All out of work now because of Trump. To Trump, it is evil ways. All right, and what. Okay, we'll keep going. Hey, Bill Maher.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, God, I gotta come. I have.

[Adam Carolla]

Why do I do this show so much? Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

I feel like I do this show every two weeks.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, you're always making fun, but here you are. Criticism, criticizing.

[Bill Maher]

Great to be here.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. I'm so excited to be here with all you people.

[Bill Maher]

I know he's like an Asperger's convention out here.

[Adam Carolla]

So, Bill, I don't know if you heard. You know, I'm a pretty accomplished. Stand up.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, here we go.

[Adam Carolla]

And this is. This is what he does. Well, I do compliments himself for like 10 minutes.

[Bill Maher]

Let me just prepare everybody. He's gonna compliment himself.

[Adam Carolla]

Listen, I say what a Great comic. He is.

[Bill Maher]

When nobody thinks that. Okay, first off, it's not comedy to rant into a microphone for an hour, okay? You have to craft jokes.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay. I'm a celebrated stand up. Celebrated by who? I mean the masses. I mean, I would say, okay. Oh, shut up, you pandering people. They're all pandering to you, okay? I don't have to prove to you about this. I'm just saying later on I'm doing a standup show and. And Dr. Drew's gonna do Stan. Yes, another comedy giant. Dr. Drew. He's, you know. Oh, yeah, he's gonna do four minutes of, I'd say original.

[Dr. Drew]

Longest four minutes of your life, pretty much.

[Bill Maher]

Is this a bringer show?

[Adam Carolla]

No, no. People paid. People paid. You gotta bring five friends to get on stage. Bill, any tips for Dr. Drew? Are you gonna hang out? Yeah, I got one tip.

[Bill Maher]

Don't do it.

[Adam Carolla]

It's gonna be very painful.

[Bill Maher]

Nobody's gonna like you.

[Kyle Dunnigan]

No, that's. I, that's the best that could happen.

[Bill Maher]

Or just rant about how there's no God, okay?

[Adam Carolla]

He doesn't exist. That's one of my best jokes. Can we, you guys tell me. I think I came up with a. With a compromise today that I, I like. Like, I'm a problem solver at heart. And.

And I, I.

This happened today, and I wanted. I want your intake on this. Who are you looking at?

I should say all of you.

All you. Okay. I went down the street to a coffee place this morning, and the guy behind the counter had a, you know, little Soup Nazi to him, you know what I mean? And I ordered a latte and then I said, could you make it with cream? And he just did the cream as if it was a foreign word to a guy who worked at a coffee place, you know? And I said, yeah, could you. Can you do a latte with cream? And he goes, no cream. Milk. And I said, oh, okay, well, maybe I'll just get a regular coffee and I'll put some cream in it. And he goes, what do you want? And I said, well, if you have cream, I'll just put cream in the regular coffee. And he goes, what is it? And I, like, panicked. And I thought, just give me the regular latte the way you like it. Stir it with your dick. You know what I mean? I'm fine. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. And he was like, okay. And I did the thing with the credit card, and he swapped the thing around and it said 20% tip, 25% ed. Started at 20. No, we're out of the teens. Everybody, we have graduated well past the teens. We. We got 20, 25 and 30. Right. And I looked at it, I was like, this guy's a prick, you know? Yeah. But then it said no tip. And I was like. But I was a little hesitant. Like, you know, it was a cultural thing. I don't think I hated his tribe or whatever it was. You know, I, I didn't want to touch the no T tip. So I like panic. I just hit the 20%, which she did not deserve. Would you guys. And I start thinking, what would be satisfactory to me? Because I, you know, 1%, no tip. Feels weird. Would you guys like this? I. I came up with this. What about you didn't get what you wanted? And there would be a spin the wheel tip. It'd be 1 to 15% and you could walk away. You'd be like the guy in the firing squad who got the blank bullet. Like you could. You don't know. You don't know who. You don't know if it's going to be 14 or 15% or 2%. It wasn't me that did the wheel in the sky. Made it 1% or 2%. You know, I mean, I would spin. I'll take it. One button that is like, this is subpar service. But you don't want to go full Grinch. No tip. I will go 1 to 15% and let the gods decide what this gets. And also provide a little entertainment and then also like a little satisfaction. Like if I just hit it and went. And then was 2%. I'd go, yeah. And I'd feel good about myself.

[Kyle Dunnigan]

You would need at least one double zero slot though, right? You'd have to have like a 50 in there so the staff doesn't get pissed at.

[Adam Carolla]

No, no. Because if you, if they did a killer job, you go 30%. We can, can. We can do that.

Okay.

But this is sort of between not wanting to go full no tip. But this isn't 20 territory.

[Bill Maher]

I gotta, I gotta another wheel. This would be a big screen, but another wheel where it's got like all 1% tip and then a thousand dollars. But it's like, it's like a hundred ones.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Bill Maher]

So all day is nervous.

[Adam Carolla]

Right?

[Bill Maher]

One, right. And then, then, you know, someone has.

[Adam Carolla]

To pay the thousand.

Let's go, let's go further. Let's go further. All ones. A thousand dollars makes love to your wife. You know what I mean? And you gotta make that phone call like, honey, oh, are you at work already.

[Bill Maher]

Cafe latte.

[Dr. Drew]

Depending on who your wife is, that could be a win or a loss.

[Adam Carolla]

Take my wife at the coffee shop. Spin this wheel. That was my favorite part about the whole P. Diddy trial, is how he was able to convince his lady friend, like, look, I got. Like, I can't win. Like, in every. With every woman I've ever been with, I can't win the Thai food versus Italian food argument. Forget the. I'm gonna hire my porn buddy called the Crusher to come over from Henderson, and he's gonna pound the daylights out of you while I beat off and watch. I. I don't. He was able to propose that and get a thumbs up, which is, you know, he should sell timeshare or something. I mean, that's a lot. That's a tall order. You know what I mean?

[Dr. Drew]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

He is a very persuasive chap is what I. I would say. And by the way, how do you even broach that? Because you can't do it all at once.

[Dr. Drew]

I think you start with. With, hey, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

All right.

[Dr. Drew]

And then I'm not really sure beyond that.

[Bill Maher]

You say, a friend does it. Like, you think it's weird that my friend.

[Dr. Drew]

Yeah, that's good.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

What do you think about Bob doing that? And then.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bill Maher]

I've never done that. I'm just saying I thought of that right now.

[Adam Carolla]

You know what's good, a good entree, too, is you're not uptight, are you? Because everyone goes, no, right? And then right after. That's good, good, because I got a strap on that I'd like to. You know what I mean? Once you get the not uptight, then. Then we're cool. It's a great thing.

[Bill Maher]

You're not uptight, are you? Is a great thing, right? Anytime you want someone to be not uptight.

[Kyle Dunnigan]

Didn't drugs figure into this somewhere?

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, drugs.

[Kyle Dunnigan]

Oh, yeah, that.

[Adam Carolla]

I guess. I guess there were some drugs. I don't know what happened with the baby oil. He made a run on it. He did with. With baby oil what we all did with toilet paper during COVID We just made a run, you know what I mean? Like, stocked up. We were. He was scared that somebody was gonna take all the baby oil. The thing I liked most about the trial is his mom sat in the front row for the entire thing.

[Bill Maher]

I didn't know that.

[Adam Carolla]

There's no way I could get Chris Corolla to come to my rape trial. I couldn't get that to go to a Little League game. I don't think there's any way I'd get Chris out to the rape trial, do you, Drew? He didn't get him to make you a lunch. Yeah, you're right. You're right.

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[Adam Carolla]

All right, wait. Let's ask.

[Kyle Dunnigan]

Let's do the panel here. Speaking of lunch, let's do your sandwich interview.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, I found a shittier sandwich in your mom made. Really? Yeah. Okay, well, let me lay this on the crowd here, and I'm share a.

Little with the card here.

Left side of the room, you guys paid the same amount as these. Why are they getting all the. Why they getting all the. The love. All right, so here's what I came up with, because there's lots of ways you can kind of measure a mom's love for her son or daughter. Your childhood or was your mom a nurturing. And people tell stories. Oh, they take me to hockey practice. My mom at 5, you know, every morning and all that stuff. But it gets murky, so I just distilled it down to what kind of sandwich she made you, and if she spent a lot of time and a lot of love. Because all it really is, is, yes, it's a sandwich. A sustenance and everything, but it's really just effort if she's. For instance, Drew and I didn't know there was such a thing as toasting bread on a sandwich. Evidently, there's mothers who love their sons to the point where they actually toast the bread.

[Kyle Dunnigan]

I didn't know there was anything except white bread.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. So I didn't. I didn't know. And we. So we started to break it down. And if you talk to some people that go, my mom toasted the bread, and then she made her own Dijon mustard, and it's like. And then, of course, the mother loved the shit out of that person, because it was just commensurate with everything else. And the time spent, because it equals a sandwich is really time spent on your child and loving, and there's nothing in it for you. Right. Except for a happy child. Okay, so 10 is the best. Drew. Now, Drew's mom did a shit sandwich, right? Which was what?

[Kyle Dunnigan]

Baloney? 2. One piece of bologna, two pieces of white bread.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay, so you had sandwich, no ketchup. So I don't want to be a one. I don't want to be a one. Downer. But I'm zero. Sandwich. My mom did zero. There's such a thing. There's lower than sandwich.

[Kyle Dunnigan]

Lower than zero.

[Adam Carolla]

You got me beat.

[Kyle Dunnigan]

You actually put shit in the sandwich.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, well, hold on, hold on. I found out I talked to a guy in Vegas, Izzy, whose mom did white bread, American cheese ungrilled, and grape jelly. So he may have beat you in the sandwich department?

[Kyle Dunnigan]

I think once I found potato chips in my blood.

[Adam Carolla]

That's good.

[Dr. Drew]

Yeah, that's good.

[Kyle Dunnigan]

Okay.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, that's. That's not fault. It's a lot of love. Love that.

[Kyle Dunnigan]

It's a move.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, so you and the sandwich department are not as low as Izzy, who got the grape jelly on his sandwich. Cat, what'd you get?

[Dr. Drew]

I got various sandwiches. Right.

[Kyle Dunnigan]

So I said mom was sick, too, though.

[Dr. Drew]

But my mom also. One thing about all the sandwiches, no matter what one it was, is she always was yelling at me. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

So, I mean, she handed it to.

[Kyle Dunnigan]

You in the morning.

[Dr. Drew]

Yeah, but it's like she. She just would be. I think she enjoyed grounding us for sport. So she would, like, bait me, you know, into, like. She'd, like, be in the annoying. In the morning. So then I would yell, and she'd be like, that's it. You're grounded. You're not going anywhere.

[Adam Carolla]

Really?

[Dr. Drew]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

But what did she do? And so she was sporadic in the sandwich department?

[Dr. Drew]

Yes, sporadic. Sometimes it'd be like, a really nice sandwich, or it be like a BLT that would be toasted mayo, but sometimes it would be like a PB and J on rye.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, okay. Sounds like a drinker.

[Dr. Drew]

No, not even a little bit. Maybe she had, like, one glass of wine a year, and her tolerance was so low when she drank it, it'd be like she took Molly.

[Adam Carolla]

Is it. Was she. Was she, like, manic depressive or something? She wasn't anything.

[Dr. Drew]

She was a social worker.

[Adam Carolla]

Social worker. Well, they always say the contractor's house is the worst one on the block. I had. My. My dad was a therapist. Therapist.

So I got.

I get that.

[Dr. Drew]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

Make me think. Because my mother would cut it diagonally.

[Adam Carolla]

That's a good sign.

Wait, wait.

[Bill Maher]

Then flip it and make a butterfly. Oh, pretty nice. But a lot of times it was. It was like Wonder Bread, Fluffer Nutter, and peanut butter. And that's like a. That's a marshmallow sandwich.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Bill Maher]

Which is very unhealthy. It was good.

[Kyle Dunnigan]

Your mom was a gay man.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. It's a butterfly.

[Bill Maher]

Honey Fluffer Nutter.

[Adam Carolla]

So the diagonal cut is good? Yeah. It shows effort.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

But I'm not sure the butterfly wing works.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, yeah. That's more effort because you have to cut it and you have to flip it.

[Kyle Dunnigan]

That would freak me out.

[Adam Carolla]

The butterfly. Wait, so how do you fold it. How do you. How do you get the butterfly?

[Bill Maher]

You just diagonal, and then you just flip it and it makes a butterfly.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, really? Yeah. I didn't know that my mother would do a caterpillar but never butterfly. Thank you. All right, so. So love. I mean, what were we giving her? Four and a half?

[Bill Maher]

What is that, a five?

[Adam Carolla]

The best is, you know, a ten is toasting bread and cutting.

[Kyle Dunnigan]

Cat sometimes got a ten.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I know, but she sometimes ten or a zero.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah, ballpark it.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, so we have someone here who says he's below a zero.

[Dr. Drew]

Actually, mine was worse because my brother had a peanut allergy, so sometimes it was jelly with soy nut butter. I blocked that one out, and I just remember that's how bad it was.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah, trauma makes us forget.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, what is worse than zero or shit sandwich, sir? My brother's finger. She know what a hamburger was? Was she from someplace in the Caribbean? In the Caribbean. Oh, so should they have, like, jerk chicken over there or something? I feel like we need to export hamburgers maybe to the Middle East. Like, maybe we could. Maybe if they could lighten up on the goat consumption and go a little more double. Double. You know what I mean? Or Tommy's or fat burger. I just say they'd put down the fucking. They put down the guns and pick up a spork, you know what I mean? And we could get to healing. We got to bring in and out to the Middle East. They're set. They need. They need something. Like when the guy's putting on the explosive vest, someone's got to be like, khabib, we're going in and out this weekend. It's like, oh, shit. Okay. All right, I'll take it off. Here you go. Where's my explosive vest hanger? There you go. Hall closet, right next to the fishing vest. There you go. All right, we're going in and out. But next week. Next week, the vest goes back on, and I blow up the pizza place and. Okay, all right, we'll visit that when we get to. Would work. I know you want it. You know the worst? I don't know if you guys had this.

I had this.

I had a wife who would go to in n out, come home with in n out for her and the kids and not the guy who paid for it. Not the guy who pays for. And then.

[Kyle Dunnigan]

Are you seeing the pattern here?

[Adam Carolla]

I would smell the in and out. I would just smell the in while they all just ate. We marry our mother. That's what we do. That's right. That's right. Did she see what movie? The Bruce movie. Let's see. Oh, the Bruce Springsteen movie. Sorry. There is a movie from the 80s.

Called they Call Me Bruce.

Thank you. Yes, I know, but the Bruce movie doesn't come out for three weeks. So you saying did she see it? Yeah, she works at Paramount. She's an editor. She did the sound mixing on it. No, it's not out yet, you bald retard. And there are other movies like that all the time.

[Bill Maher]

Guys, come on. It's a Christian podcast.

[Adam Carolla]

Sorry, sorry.

[Dr. Drew]

Family showed.

[Adam Carolla]

I mean, I was thinking about not eating in an hour.

[Kyle Dunnigan]

That's how I ended up doing four minutes of comedy.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right.

[Kyle Dunnigan]

That kind of talk.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right.

[Dr. Drew]

I can't wait for that.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, I wrote something else down. Oh, okay. Here's what I want to talk about this term. So I was learning that the Palisades fire, which I was greatly impacted by, and Malibu Palisades fire, was started by a 29 year old Uber driver. Who? Florida guy. By the way, if I work for the FBI, and it's like, look, he's fled the state. Where are we going to look? Well, there's a lot of states. A gentleman, let's save some time. Marty, you go to Florida, I'll go to Alaska. Let's. Let's get this guy. Where were we going to fucking Indiana? I don't think so. Anyone who flees, you go to Florida or you go to Alaska. Why are we wasting our time at this Dragnet? He's not anywhere else but Florida and possibly Alaska. That's my move, my move. I ever end up in Alaska, if I ever end up in Alaska. And we're at a trendy Alaskan bar and I walk in with my lady friend, and the bouncer guy's like, sorry, but there's a 20 minute wait. I'd be like, okay, let me just find us a table, my love. And I would just go, let me just want to use the bathroom inside real quick. And I just walk in and I'd pull my wallet out and I'd yell federal Marshall. And I'd watch everyone dive out of the windows. And then I'd say, my lady, this way. Wide open booth. Oh, there's still nachos on it. And a pitcher of beer. Wasn't that awesome? I would sit down and eat for free.

[Kyle Dunnigan]

If you've ever been to Alaska, literally everybody has a story.

[Adam Carolla]

Everybody.

[Kyle Dunnigan]

They could be as second generation, but there's a story.

[Adam Carolla]

So they found the guy in Florida. And it was an Uber driver, and he started the fire with the fire. And by the way, they called him on the news, a fire bug. Firebugs. A little euphemistic. And cute for a guy who killed 12 people and did $200 billion worth of damage and devastated origins. Look at the little firebug. Look at that. He loves sparklers. This one sounds adorable. Yeah, go get your Bic, Tommy. Come on. Show him what you can do with that Bic lining, you little fire bug, you. Get out.

[Dr. Drew]

Come on.

[Adam Carolla]

It's almost bedtime. Now, how about some hot tamales, my little fire bug? I bet you like that, don't you? Yeah, we. I like arsonist better than firebug. Yeah, but. Sounds like a dance from the 20s. Hey, the flappers are doing a firebug.

[Bill Maher]

Come on. See?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Firebug. Same here. Hey, 20s gangster guy. Yeah. Yeah. Let's get some tile.

[Bill Maher]

That's tile.

[Adam Carolla]

This place. Hey, this place needs more tiles.

[Bill Maher]

Cat's like, what's that joke?

[Adam Carolla]

All right, all right. So hold on.

[Bill Maher]

Call back.

[Adam Carolla]

It is good job security. Like, when they start the building, the subway, it's like, my husband got a job as a groutist. For the next 30 years, all he's going to be doing is grouting. Okay, all right.

[Dr. Drew]

I missed it.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, hold on. So they caught the guy, but. And. And I. I'd like to blame the guy because he was an. He was a firebug and everything, but he started the fire on New Year's Day. The fire department rolled on it, allegedly put it out, and then a week later, everything's burned to the ground. So in terms of that guy, there's an element of sort of. Well, if the guys had done their job, then we wouldn't be in this predicament, you know?

[Kyle Dunnigan]

And maybe we could make it go up the food chain and blame the mayor for not giving the. The fire department enough resources so they couldn't have.

[Adam Carolla]

Hold on, Drew. It's not her fault. She's in Uganda, right? That's right. You understand? She's the mayor of Uganda. You understand? She's trying on ceremonial garb and learning the dance that the elders passed down from years before. She's learning to walk with a gourd on her head, okay? So let's not blame her for what's going on in California. California. You understand? Drew, watch your mouth. Gavin Newsom. Good dude. He's gonna run for president, you know, or something.

[Kyle Dunnigan]

You guys want to see Adam mix it up with Newsome? Oh, my God. Fantastic.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. I think Newsom's assistant hit me this weekend and said he was coming on the 12th of never.

[Bill Maher]

No.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, he's not coming back on. Which again, it's like my whole thing is if. Okay, first things first. All you guys do is speak truth to power, but you're scared shitless of Joe Rogan. So what is it? Like, go find the power and go speak some fucking truth to them? Or are you scared because somebody has ideas and your ideas suck? Like, all they do is talk about speaking truth to power, but they won't go anywhere that's not friendly. And by the way, friendly is not the power structure. You got to go find the power and go speak truth to them, but they don't really possess the truth. Katie Porter, she's the next governor. Katie Porter.

[Dr. Drew]

That's my. That's my girl right there.

[Kyle Dunnigan]

You like her?

[Adam Carolla]

I mean, it's the best.

[Dr. Drew]

It's. It's amazing to be like. The fact that she thinks that was an okay way to behave on camera, it's almost inspiring.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. She had somebody ask some follow up questions.

[Dr. Drew]

Yeah, that's it. A follow up question made her turn into that. She's a beast.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, okay, so here's, here's the thing. It shows what the environment is and what they're used to, because the idea that a reporter doing their job and asking a follow up question is so grossly offensive to them and they take like insane umbrage. It's sort of like if a king from, from olden days showed up at a modern airport and like lit a cigar, you know, and then somebody from Southwest would come around and go, hey, you got to put that cigar out. And he'd be like, off with her head. She must be killed. They'd go, put the cigar out. Okay, well, now you're gonna be drawn and quartered. I was, I was nice, I was gonna give you the guillotine, but now you're. Now I'm in a bad mood. Like, that's what they, they thought. It's like, it shows that they've never seen reality before. And yeah, she got, she did an interview and somebody asked her a follow up question. She got, she got angry. But there is another clip where she yelled at her staff, get out of my shot. Right. And that made me, did. I did kind of like her after that because I do like, I like when people are needlessly cruel to underlings, because I do a lot of that. And I just. We did bond. We kind of bonded over that. So we're kind of. Kind of back now.

[Dr. Drew]

I feel like she thinks she's killing it right now, though, because who's gonna tell her she's not?

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, yeah, you're gonna get yelled at.

[Dr. Drew]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Adam Carolla]

Absolutely.

[Dr. Drew]

None of them make enough money to put themselves through that.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, well, you know, it could get worse in California, because I think she's worse than Newsome.

Do you?

[Kyle Dunnigan]

It could be. Or maybe she's what we need. I don't know. It's so fucked up in California. I don't know what we. What we're supposed to do.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, you're right. Yeah, we might need a fat, tyrannical bitch to straighten out. Straighten out California. True's right. That's the worst. That's the worst idea I've ever heard, Drew. That's a horrible, horrible idea.

[Dr. Drew]

Drew becomes your campaign manager.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, so we do have some news. I also have this thought to share with you guys. Oh. Because I gotta talk because right now we have an example of a dude crossing his legs like a dude, and then we have a female crossing her legs like a female. Would you. So, you know, my thing is, is when I see Newsom or Obama or that is Barack or Michelle can't do it because she's got that big hog, you know, But Barack can't because Michelle's got his balls in a mason jar. So he can do it. I can do it, Drew. Well, okay. And then the cross. So you. If you see Barack Obama do a speaking engagement, he has his legs like he's got a. I mean, he has to work with a yoga instructor before he goes on stage and has to have special pants built. Like, Chuck Norris had karate pants in the 70s. He has a special leg crossing pants to give enough freedom and flexibility to get that leg. And then Justin Trudeau, he. He is the king slash queen of the deep Lake cross. Right? So don't tell me it's not a signal. Like, it is. It is the male. Hey, LGBT community, I am down with the cause. Like, I am down. That's how I cross my legs. So I was thinking, and you guys know me, for women, it's the nose stud. It's. It's the hoop that is on the frenulum. Is that a frenulum here, Drew? Yeah. You can use the microphone if you like, Drew. It amplifies your voice. Didn't want to interrupt. Yeah, we're doing. Yeah. Gig. Lada is not going to go so good without the microphone. Wait, wait, is that Stallone or Rodney? Yeah, I don't Do a great Rodney.

[Kyle Dunnigan]

It's.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm losing it over here. No, it goes. It bleeds a little into the Stallone. Wait, what's Stallone sound like? Yeah, yo, I get no respect.

[Bill Maher]

You know what I mean? I tell you.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, you're doing Rodney. My do doctor Goombots.

[Bill Maher]

I tell you.

[Adam Carolla]

Stallone danger. I think that's a thing, Sly.

[Bill Maher]

Danger.

[Adam Carolla]

So you ever hear.

[Andrew (News Reader)]

Sorry.

[Bill Maher]

Do you ever hear Dan sort of does a Rodney that he does. Woke Rodney Dangerfield.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, no.

[Bill Maher]

And it's like, I'll tell you.

[Adam Carolla]

Gets no respect. People of color.

[Bill Maher]

I'll tell you. It's so funny. Anyway, go ahead.

[Adam Carolla]

That's funny, Drew. You should use that when you do your format.

[Kyle Dunnigan]

Don't worry, I'm stealing stuff.

[Adam Carolla]

So the nose piercing on the woman in the front frenulum there is the equivalent signaling to the guy who's doing the deep leg cross. Like you're saying to the world, here's how I vote. Here's the community I'm down with. You know my sensibilities, right? Okay. They're both, I'd say kind of equal. Like they're. They're both as. As accurate.

[Kyle Dunnigan]

Predictive.

[Adam Carolla]

Predictive. That's the word I was looking for. Thank you.

[Kyle Dunnigan]

I'll use that in my comment.

[Adam Carolla]

You'll use the word predictive?

[Kyle Dunnigan]

Yeah, it worked.

[Adam Carolla]

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[Bill Maher]

You will die in seven days, Scream.

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[Adam Carolla]

All right, I think we have some news over here.

[Kyle Dunnigan]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

Andrew's sitting behind the mic in the back of the room, and he's got some news that we can all weigh in on.

[Kyle Dunnigan]

Yep.

[Andrew (News Reader)]

This from the New York Post. Health and Human Services Secretary RFK Jr. Claimed Thursday there may be a link between circumcision and autism.

[Adam Carolla]

I saw this.

[Andrew (News Reader)]

Due to the distribution of Tylenol post procedure.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh. See, first, I love. And I. But I do like. And I. I do like an idea where I go, circumcision. Get the. And then I go, ooh, Tylenol. Okay. You want to know the best circumcision story I've ever heard?

[Bill Maher]

No.

[Adam Carolla]

I'll limit it to 18 minutes. Howie Mandel. You know this one? You do? Howie Mandel had a circumcision at his house. His son, I guess. Unless he's just luring strangers in his living room with a moil. But I bet it was related to him, by the way. Howie Mandel. That guy won't even shake your hand. How's he gonna do with the foreskin? You know what I mean? I don't feel like that'd be good territory for him. But he said that he got his son circumcised at the home, and then, as tradition would have it, they take it to the backyard and they bury it in the backyard. No, the baby. Yeah, no shit. I didn't think I had to make that distinction, Drew. Yes, they take the sun and they put him head down into the earth, and a foreskin tree will spring up.

[Bill Maher]

And.

[Adam Carolla]

That'S why no Jews see their first birthday. No male Jews. So, yeah, the foreskin. So they put the foreskins. They bury it in the backyard. And then Howie said his dog dug it up and ate it.

[Kyle Dunnigan]

Oh, yeah, I heard that story.

[Adam Carolla]

Which obviously makes your dog gay, right? I mean, if it wasn't. It wasn't gay before that. He is now. Right. He's got. You know, they do that. Like the shark, once he tastes his human blood, he's got. Once he tastes human, he's got a hankering. You know what I mean? So, Tylenol. What do you think?

[Kyle Dunnigan]

I think there. I bet you what this is is part of building a case for other things that the people took the Tylenol for that actually may be more implicated for autism.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

You know, Andrew Forgot to mention, if you take the foreskin and you. You put it into a juice, you can actually cure autism that you got from. From taking off the foreskin.

[Adam Carolla]

RFK Jr. Now, you're the kind of guy who would eat roadkill who took, like, a whale's head.

[Bill Maher]

Put a whale's head on my car, and I had to put plastic bags over my children because the whale juice was getting into the car and hitting.

[Adam Carolla]

Him in the face. I think you're euphemistically calling it whale juice. Like, there's a Gatorade flavor. I would call it blood, but. Okay, but now, would you. Would you consider foreskin roadkill?

[Bill Maher]

Well, it depends how the foreskin got there. If it was. If somebody's penis was run over, for example, that would be foreskin.

[Adam Carolla]

So you wouldn't harvest a foreskin, but if you found.

[Bill Maher]

Absolutely. Never let a foreskin go to waste.

[Andrew (News Reader)]

That's what.

[Bill Maher]

I hope we can get that out here today.

[Adam Carolla]

RFK Jr let me paint a scenario. Let me paint a scenario. You. Let's just say you dropped off a dead bear at the woods and put a bicycle by it over Central Park.

[Bill Maher]

Right? Right.

[Adam Carolla]

Put a bear there. And then later on, you went to the beach and you found a dead whale and it cut its head off, and then you put it in the sunroom. So far, very normal stories. Go ahead.

[Dr. Drew]

Right.

[Adam Carolla]

This called a Tuesday. And you put the garbage bags over your kids so you could get home without the whale. Father of the year. Go ahead. And then. And then on the way home, you passed a foreskin in the road.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, Jesus. This is. This is like Sophie's choice here. Hold on a second. Now, if I stop too quickly, the whale juice will go flying over the windshield. But here's what I would do, okay? I would lower my speed of my whale head car and have my 8 year old open the door. And as we go by the foreskin, I would tell my 8 year old who I had a plastic bag over her head to grab the foreskin off the road.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay. All right.

[Bill Maher]

There's no other way.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah. No, it's.

[Bill Maher]

If I had another choice, I would do it.

[Announcer]

No other.

[Adam Carolla]

No, I get it. You're kind of.

[Bill Maher]

You're kind of skin.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. So Tylenol causes this autism In. In your belief, cutting the foreskin. Yeah, the foreskin.

[Bill Maher]

You need the foreskin to not have the autism. That's why if you put it. Blend it into a juice and it really doesn't taste that bad. I've had several foreskin in my Day.

[Adam Carolla]

You have a foreskin smoothie is what you're saying.

[Bill Maher]

Or you can put it in a soup. I don't want to tell you how to get it down, but.

[Adam Carolla]

Right, but the consumption of foreskins prevents autism.

[Bill Maher]

Well, you need it on your body not to have autism.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay.

[Bill Maher]

Once the foreskin comes off.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

Autism goes in. Put the forest in back in your body. It's called science, Adam.

[Adam Carolla]

Understood. But now what about the ladies? Because there's autistic ladies as well. Do we feed them the foreskin?

[Bill Maher]

I wasn't aware that there were ladies with autism, to be honest with you.

[Adam Carolla]

I think I haven't.

[Bill Maher]

I know I'm the head of health, but I haven't studied everything.

[Adam Carolla]

That's true. All right, well, I think ladies.

[Bill Maher]

Let me write this down.

[Adam Carolla]

Women have. Ladies and men with autism. What percentage are we talking about here?

[Kyle Dunnigan]

A little higher in men.

[Adam Carolla]

A little higher.

[Bill Maher]

One in four. Someone says one in. Oh, mostly female.

[Adam Carolla]

What about. What about dyslexia amongst audience members? True. Is that where that's off the charts? We got hit with a certain strain in New York City that affected Rodney's Comedy Club. All right, so it's 25% women. All right, so they got to get some foreskins in their diet too. Right.

[Bill Maher]

We should up that number. It's probably a good idea.

[Adam Carolla]

How? What's it like being married? I know when Cheryl Hines. You know what I mean?

[Bill Maher]

From Overrated.

[Adam Carolla]

Curve, Your enthusiasm. You know, I gotta tell you, I became a fan. You know what? I became a fan of yours because I did your comedy. We did a whole fundraiser for, you know, comedy, you know, autism, laughs or whatever, whatever they do. No, we raised money and I talked to you on the phone and stuff like that. Good, dude. But where I really fell in love with you is when you were on CNN and they were trying to ambush you about saying something about Nazis. And you know, CNN gets the footage and then chops it up, right. And then makes you look like you're saying heil Hitler, you know, at a rally. That's something all good news agencies do. They get the footage and then they chop it up and make it look like something else because they're just hard hitting reporters over there. But you said something that was awesome because the female news anchor was like, this was really offensive. This whole thing comparing to Covid to Nazi Germany. And she goes, and your wife, your wife, Cheryl Hines even. Even said it. Even said it was bad. And then he just goes, she was wrong. And all politicians are so pussy whipped. It Was refreshing to him. Would just call his wife a dumb.

[Bill Maher]

I'll tell you. And a lot of people will probably agree with me. It really fuels the orgasm if you're fighting with your partner.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes, that's it.

[Bill Maher]

Not to be graphic.

[Kyle Dunnigan]

The orgasm for her boyfriend or just.

[Bill Maher]

Again, it's a good fight, Will.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

Really make me rock it off. All right, so this is what else.

[Adam Carolla]

Is in the news. It's a Christian podcast.

[Andrew (News Reader)]

This is from Fox News only. Fans searching on college campuses sparks new safety fears as experts warn of hidden dangers such as stalkers breaking into creators homes and living in attics.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, they're. They're going bad, Ronald. Deep cut 70s movie of the week. I like the euphemistic titles. Only fans. Like, how'd they come up? Like, when they were coming up with the idea, like, how about we call it pathetic Guys should beat off? Okay, okay.

[Bill Maher]

There's no bad ideas.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay, what else? What else? Guys with bad skin and extra cash who like to stroke their meat. Closer.

[Bill Maher]

Closer.

[Adam Carolla]

Schlubs that can't land a.

[Bill Maher]

Okay, we're getting getting colder on that one.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay.

[Bill Maher]

All right.

[Adam Carolla]

Guys who don't have enough money to buy a prostitute, but do have a smartphone. I got you. This was already a little shorter for the. Right, right. Yeah.

[Kyle Dunnigan]

These are only their fans.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, hey, wait. Did you hear what Stu said? Stu? Stu's never had a good idea. I know. I was about to send him out on a Chinese food run. He said it's only their. How about that? I love, love that.

Only fans. No.

[Kyle Dunnigan]

Only their fans.

[Adam Carolla]

Only their fans.

[Kyle Dunnigan]

Only their fans.

[Bill Maher]

What does that mean?

[Kyle Dunnigan]

That's what we're gonna call it. Only their fans.

[Adam Carolla]

Only the fans. No, let's just call it only fans.

[Kyle Dunnigan]

But this.

[Adam Carolla]

What like they did with a movie with Facebook where Justin Timberlake said, get rid of the Facebook.

[Kyle Dunnigan]

Okay.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay. Yeah. All right. Now get the Chinese food.

[Kyle Dunnigan]

Okay, got it.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, I think we got this. Only fans. Yeah. That's a good name. All right, sorry. So I listen, first off, I don't judge any woman who uses her body to make money when the alternative is something that's low paying and involves leaving your apartment. Yeah, because.

[Dr. Drew]

Yeah, well, only is a lot. Like back in the day, people used to have to do boots on the ground sex work.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I know.

[Dr. Drew]

Now you don't even gotta touch a penis.

[Bill Maher]

Penis.

[Adam Carolla]

No, I know.

[Kyle Dunnigan]

And it then was stripping.

[Dr. Drew]

Yeah.

[Kyle Dunnigan]

Now you have to do that even.

[Dr. Drew]

Nope.

[Kyle Dunnigan]

Or if you want to, you can do it.

[Dr. Drew]

You don't have to have a penis.

[Adam Carolla]

Think.

Let's just.

Let's look at this through the lens of a 19 year old Adam Corolla.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, boy.

[Adam Carolla]

No. When I was 19, you would never leave the house. I didn't have. I didn't have any money.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

I couldn't do anything. What would you do?

[Kyle Dunnigan]

You. You'd be in there.

[Adam Carolla]

I walk bad.

[Andrew (News Reader)]

Wrong.

[Adam Carolla]

I walk quiet. Drew, I want to apologize. Usually I apologize in advance for Dr. Drew. I would. I would be walking, looking for jobs on a construction site, and then at some point, for $7 an hour with taxes taken out, I just got a job digging ditches and moving drywall and cleaning up garbage out in the sun in the San Fernando Valley. But if someone said you could just go home and pull your dick out and like, wave it around a camera and air conditioning and make 10 times the money, I would have gone for sure.

[Dr. Drew]

You might have to have gotten more creative than that.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay, let him see a nut. I don't care. I get it. Well, that's why what happens, you could upsell to the nut.

[Bill Maher]

That's the way you do it.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. So, yeah, I mean, but also, when I was 19, if someone would have said, look, all you gotta do is go into Tijuana, put a balloon of heroin up your ass, and come back, we'll give you $3,000, I would have definitely done it. Yeah. All right, sorry. What else, Andrew?

[Andrew (News Reader)]

Thanks to a new California law, you won't have to scramble to turn down the volume when a commercial comes on a streaming platform. New California law limits the volume of ads on streaming platforms. This law comes into effect July 2026.

[Adam Carolla]

I love how I wanted to be. I want to be that city council meeting or the California meeting in Sacramento. And I would be like, all right, people, here's what we got on the docket. We got this homeless situation.

[Dr. Drew]

The whole city burned down.

[Adam Carolla]

The cities burned to the ground. I just got a report on my desk this morning about the bubonic plague. There's a lot of rats infected with the bubonic plague. Also, there a new thing, I think, these street takeover things where these guys steal Dodge Chargers and they do donuts in the intersection and a bunch of teenagers get run over and stuff. And there's the volume that comes on for these commercials when people are looking at their browser. Stu, what do you think we should start with? What do you think? The commercials.

[Kyle Dunnigan]

I. I only heard the.

[Andrew (News Reader)]

The commercial.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, if there's time permitting, we can talk about pulling permits and rebuilding the Palisades, but we have A limited amount of time. Limited amount of time. Homeless, yada, yada, yada. I get it. Olympics coming to town. Great. China's eating our lunch. Fantastic. But let's really focus. Let's dance with who brung us the insignificant that nobody gives a about. Okay? That's what I'm here to solve. Yeah, that's right. It was one time. It was a funny thing.

When I interviewed Gavin Newsom.

It was, it was, it was a, it was a funny thing because I realized politicians are used to saying things that sound important, but they don't make sense. So I go, listen.

At a certain point, I just go.

Look, I want gas prices to come down. I want to fix this homeless prom. I want to, to fix the potholes in the roads. I want you to work big to small, okay? You can get to that shit later on. You know, if you want to trans some illegal prisoners, by all means, but do it later. Wait. Because, you know, it impacts my life, but not as much as potholes and homelessness, you know, So I go, just work on the big stuff and then you can get down to the granular stuff. And he looked at me and he chuckled. He goes, adam, I like to work small to big. And then he like literally thought there's going to be applause break, but I don't know what the fuck he's talking about. This is working small to big, right? And it always reminded me, if you say stuff with enough sort of self assurance and gravitas, people will agree with you. And I was doing a crank anchors call a million years ago. Hold your applause, please. And I was doing a crank anchors call a million years ago, and I was talking to a funeral home and I, I, I was, I was having a, I was having, I was trying to make arrangements for my mom and I just, the woman I was talking to, I was just like, I miss her so much.

And she's like, I know.

And I go, no son should have to bury a mother. And the person went, I know, I know, I know. And I realized it's all in the delivery. That's what Kevin. That's what Gavin Newsom says. He says, that makes no sense. But he does it with such gravitas that everyone goes, oh, he's so right. Yeah. Let's take care of the miniature stuff before we get to the huge stuff that's plaguing us all. All right. You have one more there, Andrew.

Yeah.

[Andrew (News Reader)]

The Palisades fire suspect, 29 year old Jonathan Render neck will be held without font.

[Adam Carolla]

Render neck's tough Jonathan. Yeah. At some point, let's just call you John. You know what I mean? I felt that way when Jeffrey Toobin got caught beating off. I was like, hey, at what point can we call you Jeff? You know, this is not really a Jeffrey.

[Bill Maher]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

Type. You beating off on a zoom call with a bunch of colleagues while day drinking is. That's more of a Jeff move. Jeffrey, that's a lord of the land.

[Dr. Drew]

You know, came on TV after to talk about it and he wore a tie. And I was like, I could never. If, first of all, if I did that, I would be fired. But like, to have the confidence to then go on TV again, be like, yes, I did. I jerked off in the meeting, but this is why I need to be respected again.

[Bill Maher]

Like, I don't get that though. His apology didn't make sense. Like, what was he apologizing that he did didn't know how to turn off a camera. He acted like he didn't say something wrong. Like, yeah. And she was like, what were you thinking? Like, she doesn't masturbate and knows how to work. Camera's good.

[Dr. Drew]

When I was on, when I was on Zoom calls during COVID I'd be like, oh my God, I'm sorry. I look so crazy. Like I don't have any makeup on. Like, oh my God, I'm a mess. Meanwhile, this dude's like, I'm sorry I.

[Adam Carolla]

Forgot to turn off my camera before jerking off in the meeting.

[Bill Maher]

He's like, I'm, I'm sorry. It's like, I don't know what, I'm gonna go to therapy to learn how to work a camera. Right?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

It didn't make sense.

[Adam Carolla]

But this guy's last name is what?

[Dr. Drew]

Tubin?

[Andrew (News Reader)]

Render Necked?

[Bill Maher]

Render Nick Ringer Neck.

[Andrew (News Reader)]

R I N D E R. He.

[Bill Maher]

Should have been a murderer with that.

[Andrew (News Reader)]

K N E C H. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

See, this is trouble for his dad because dad who works at the Jiffy Lube can't go totally different. Render neck. I know you've never heard that name and you're. That's where you're praying to be. Johnson or Brown.

[Bill Maher]

That's the Wisconsin Ringer neck.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah. Not We're a proud non. Fire starting sister.

[Dr. Drew]

Cannot start in only fans now.

[Adam Carolla]

No, no, everyone. It's too specific. You can't get away from that name. I always love it when the guy's a junior because the guy's like sitting around when the kid, you know, the kid's an infant. He's like, we're gonna go with junior. Cause one day when he wins the super bowl and is the MVP of the league, my name's gonna be shouted from the heavens. And then the kid goes up to a bell tower and goes on a shooting spree. And now it's your name that's on there. Fuck that. So dad is not to be able to live this one down. But he's in Florida. Can we not. Do we have to extradite everybody?

You know what I mean?

Like, we go like, we got to get him back to California to put him on.

[Bill Maher]

Really?

[Adam Carolla]

Don't we have enough criminals here? The guy went to Florida. Let's just put him on trial in Dade county. And they can do it, right? Tired of bringing everyone back, you know? By the way, we couldn't get Roman Polanski back. We tried to dangle a 13 year old in front of him. He wouldn't bite. I took a 13 year old to the airport. They're like, come on. He just looked through the glass on the place like, no, no.

[Bill Maher]

It was a decoy. Trying to have some ass.

[Adam Carolla]

Wait, what's Chris Hansen sound like?

[Bill Maher]

He sounds like this Roman Polanski was trying to have sex.

[Adam Carolla]

He has what?

[Bill Maher]

But that was a decoy.

[Adam Carolla]

What was he trying to have?

[Bill Maher]

He was trying to have Sad. There's like 19. There's 19 vowels in it.

[Adam Carolla]

He went to Saks Fifth Avenue. Not a SA. Oh, he was trying to have.

[Bill Maher]

He was trying to have some.

[Adam Carolla]

And he.

[Bill Maher]

His screen name was Boner95.

[Adam Carolla]

That's my favorite part. When he pulls out the docu file of information, like a huge. The guy. The guy always starts off with like, I don't even know who this is. I just come over for some Toll House cookies and sweet tea.

[Bill Maher]

That's not what your chat says. That's not what your chat says. I have your chat right here.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, there's a chat.

[Bill Maher]

It's a very chat log. No pun intended. You say, I want to see your boobs. Lol. They always go lol, too on it.

[Adam Carolla]

She told me she was in her 60s.

[Bill Maher]

That's not what the chat says. She said, I'm only 13. You said, Great. LOL.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, you know what? I'm dyslexics. I thought she said 13.

[Bill Maher]

That's chat says. Your chat says, I'm not dyslexic. LOL.

[Adam Carolla]

It's such a turnoff. I just wanted to push it up front there. Yeah. All right, look, I'm not going to do this anymore.

[Bill Maher]

You're free to go.

[Adam Carolla]

You're free to go. Oh, I can go?

[Bill Maher]

You're free to go.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm free to go.

[Bill Maher]

I mean, there's a giant SWAT team out front, but you're free to go. I'm not holding you here.

[Adam Carolla]

No, but can I. Can I just go ahead and crawl out of a vent pipe? Do I have to go out the front?

[Bill Maher]

You have to go this way. You have to go this way.

[Adam Carolla]

But the Fresno Popo is out there.

[Bill Maher]

All right, this way, please.

[Adam Carolla]

But I'm free to leave?

[Bill Maher]

You're free to go.

[Adam Carolla]

You know, you mind if I take some of these Toll House cookies? Because I don't feel like they're gonna have that.

[Bill Maher]

The only cookie you'll be getting is down at county jail.

[Adam Carolla]

No, no, I'm. I'm saying I don't think they have cookies at county jail.

[Bill Maher]

That's not what you chat says. Your chat says there's a lot of cookies down at County J.

[Adam Carolla]

And scene.

[Bill Maher]

And we're done.

[Adam Carolla]

All right. Kyle Dunegan, everybody.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah, thank you.

[Adam Carolla]

You can check out his YouTube channel. Kyle Dunnigan. Very funny. And then also Cat Timp, everybody. On Gutfeld all the time. And where do we find the real realcattimp.com is where we go for, like, live shows and stuff like that. Dr. Drew, follow the show on Rumble. Hey, Adam.

[Andrew (News Reader)]

Adam, we have a surprise for you, courtesy of Rodney's and Tony Caparelli. They want to gift it to you on stage right now.

[Adam Carolla]

Tony Caparelli? That guy's. Yeah, he's a good dude. Anyone who's named after a deli meat is okay by me. Tony Caparella says the price.

[Andrew (News Reader)]

So this is a Notice the artwork on the wall.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, artwork on the wall. That's beautiful. First off, Jeffrey Toobin's never done a set in his life. Why is there a rendition of it? It's got a little tubing in him. Well, that's wonderful. Wonderful. I'm honored. You know, I'll tell you what. Next time I come to New York, I'm gonna bring my kids in here so I can point at that, and they could not give a shit because that's how those little fucks are.

[Bill Maher]

I did my job, didn't I?

[Adam Carolla]

Well, thank you. That's wonderful. And are we gonna put it up top? Well, no, we're gonna.

[Andrew (News Reader)]

We're taking it back to Glen.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, we're taking it back home?

[Andrew (News Reader)]

Yeah, I'm gonna be carrying that across town tonight.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, okay. Oh, really? Yeah, we'll figure it out. Okay. Oh, thank you. That's wonderful. I. I appreciate it. I thank you very much.

[Kyle Dunnigan]

Thank you very much.

[Adam Carolla]

And I'm a subscriber, too. Thank you so much. And you painted that?

[Bill Maher]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, it's an amazing gift. I'll tell you what, I could. I could never do that. And that's amazing. And you did all these paintings up here.

[Dr. Drew]

Wow.

[Adam Carolla]

A gift. Yeah.

[Andrew (News Reader)]

And you can find him on Instagram at. At Studio Tony Caparelli. That's C, A, P, P, A, R.

[Adam Carolla]

E, L, L, I. Thanks, Tony. And so, until next time, this is Adam Carolla. Say it.

[Bill Maher]

Mahala.

[Adam Carolla]

Thanks, you guys. Thank you.

[Announcer]

You can leave us a voicemail at 888-634-1744 and get tickets to see the Ace man at AdamCorola.com.

[Pluto TV Announcer]

This October, Fear is free on Pluto TV with horror movie collections from paranormal activity, the ring.

[Adam Carolla]

You will die in seven days scream.

[Pluto TV Announcer]

And from dusk till dawn.

[Adam Carolla]

This is my kind of place.

[Pluto TV Announcer]

And don't miss the man made nightmares in Mary Shelley's first Frankenstein. Or the world ending chaos in 28 days later. Something in the blood, all the scares, all for free. Pluto TV stream now pay never. This October, fear is free on Pluto TV with horror movie collections from paranormal activity, the ring, you will die in seven days screaming and from dusk till dawn.

[Adam Carolla]

This is my kind of place.

[Pluto TV Announcer]

And don't miss the man made nightmares in Mary Shelley's Frankenstein or the world ending chaos in 28 days later. Something in the blood, all the scares, all for free. Pluto TV stream now pay never.