Alan Dershowitz on What He Thinks Really Happened to Jeffrey Epstein

Summary

Podcast Summary: Adam Carolla Show Featuring Alan Dershowitz Episode Title: Alan Dershowitz on What He Thinks Really Happened to Jeffrey Epstein
Release Date: August 13, 2025
Host: Adam Carolla
Guest: Alan Dershowitz, esteemed attorney and author

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Introduction

In this compelling episode of The Adam Carolla Show, host Adam Carolla engages in a profound conversation with renowned attorney and author Alan Dershowitz. The discussion centers around the enigmatic case of Jeffrey Epstein, Dershowitz's perspectives on legal and societal issues, and the broader implications for American democracy and civil liberties.

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Key Discussions and Insights

1. Jeffrey Epstein Case and Dershowitz's Involvement

Timestamp: [73:35]

Alan Dershowitz delves into the intricacies of the Jeffrey Epstein case, asserting his innocence and addressing the allegations against him. He states:

"First of all, the reason I spoke out is I have nothing to hide. I've never touched another woman or had even sexual contact with another woman since the day I met Jeffrey Epstein."
— Alan Dershowitz, [73:35]

Dershowitz discusses the fabricated aspects of the Epstein files, highlighting instances where false accusations emerged:

"For example, there's a woman named Sarah Ransom... she admitted she may have misidentified me, confused me with somebody else."
— Dershowitz, [75:37]

He emphasizes the danger of releasing unverified information, which can harm genuine victims and tarnish reputations based on half-truths.

2. Media Censorship and Free Speech

Timestamp: [60:18]

Dershowitz criticizes mainstream media for its treatment of dissenting voices, including himself:

"The New York Times... they refused to review any book I've written since the day I defended Donald Trump."
— Dershowitz, [60:29]

He underscores the importance of alternative platforms like podcasts for disseminating diverse viewpoints:

"The concept of the podcast is so important for democracy. If Thomas Jefferson were alive, he'd be having a podcast."
— Dershowitz, [64:53]

3. Antisemitism in America

Timestamp: [86:43]

A significant portion of the conversation addresses the resurgence of antisemitism:

"Antisemitism is going in the wrong direction... the greatest amount of antisemitism emerged right after October 7th."
— Dershowitz, [85:18]

He attributes this rise to misguided political narratives and stresses the need for active resistance:

"I have a thick skin, so I don't worry about it myself. I won't be. I'm always gonna speak out..."
— Dershowitz, [89:00]

4. Critique of the Democratic Party and Policy Recommendations

Timestamp: [99:50]

Dershowitz offers a scathing critique of the modern Democratic Party, labeling it as increasingly radical and disconnected from mainstream voters:

"They are becoming a radical left, anti-American... It's becoming really a leftist, anarchist party with the squad..."
— Dershowitz, [99:50]

He warns of the potential consequences if the party regains control, advocating for balanced policies that address societal issues without descending into chaos.

5. Defunding the Police and Public Safety

Timestamp: [102:23]

Discussing public safety, Dershowitz vehemently opposes the "defund the police" movement:

"A country without a good police force is not a country. It's anarchy."
— Dershowitz, [103:55]

He argues for maintaining robust law enforcement to preserve societal order and protect vulnerable communities.

6. Keith Ranieri Case and Judicial Integrity

Timestamp: [90:25]

Alan Dershowitz brings attention to the Keith Ranieri case, highlighting potential miscarriages of justice:

"They tampered with evidence to convict someone who the police believe is guilty but may not be."
— Dershowitz, [93:13]

He advocates for transparency and rigorous legal processes to ensure fairness in the judicial system.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• On Media Censorship:
  "The government can't restrict podcasts or any other kind of free speech."
  — Dershowitz, [64:53]

• On Antisemitism:
  "The greatest amount of antisemitism emerged right after October 7th."
  — Dershowitz, [86:43]

• On Defunding the Police:
  "Defund the police is the worst thing that could happen."
  — Dershowitz, [103:55]

• On Judicial System Flaws:
  "Cross examination is the greatest engine of truth."
  — Dershowitz, [96:12]

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Conclusions and Final Thoughts

Alan Dershowitz provides a critical examination of contemporary societal and political issues, emphasizing the necessity of upholding civil liberties, ensuring judicial integrity, and fostering a media landscape that accommodates diverse opinions. The conversation reveals a deep concern for the direction of American democracy and the challenges posed by rising bigotry and political polarization.

Dershowitz's insights advocate for proactive engagement in legal and political arenas to address and rectify systemic injustices, urging listeners to remain vigilant and informed.

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Tags: #AdamCarollaShow #AlanDershowitz #JeffreyEpstein #FreeSpeech #Antisemitism #DefundThePolice #JudicialIntegrity #DemocraticParty #PoliticalPolarization

Transcript

[Adam Carolla]

Well, in this episode, me and Mayhem do the news and we talk to Alan Dershowitz right after this.

[Commercial Voiceover]

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[Jason Mayhem Miller]

From Corolla 1 Studios in Glendale, California, this is the Adam Carolla Show. Adam's guest today, attorney and author Alan Dershowitz. Plus the news with Jason Mayhem Miller. And now he was very excited about Taylor Swift's new album until he realized it wasn't the soundtrack to a Showgirl sequel.

[Adam Carolla]

Adam Carolla. Yeah, get it on, got to get it on. No choice beyond your mandate. You get it on. Now Mayhem's in studio. He's got some news. We'll get to that in a second. I am heading up to the track. I'm going to Laguna Seca, going to do me vintage race and bringing a Datsun 510 BRE race car. It's good thing. That's good. I'll tell you what's good. What's good is having a job or having a hobby where you have stuff you gotta do. Like I'm sitting and I'm sitting here and I'm like, where's my transponder? I need a transponder. Uh oh, gotta check the date on the belts. The date's no good. The belts are expired. Not gonna pass tech. Uh oh, where's my balaclava hood? Where's my hood? Where's my helmet? Like, it's just long ass list of stuff. And it kind of keeps you, it keeps you in line.

[Guest/Caller]

When you say the tech sorry, you're talking about. They're gonna give a full overview of the car before you run it.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, so what you do, Tell me into it?

[Guest/Caller]

I'm a layman, you know, I know.

[Adam Carolla]

A lot of listeners are pros, scrutineering. I love bubble.

[Guest/Caller]

Watson listens, right? I think a lot. Yeah, of course.

[Adam Carolla]

Is it Watson or Wallace? Anyway, it's Wallace, bubba. Yeah, Wallace. Yeah, anyway, different black guy. All right, so let me, let me say this car's got to go there. And then the car has to go through tech inspection.

[Guest/Caller]

Okay?

[Adam Carolla]

And tech inspection, they'll look at the date on your seat belts. And the seat belts, which is a harness, has a date and it just says can't use after. Mine say can't use after 2017.

[Guest/Caller]

Like the cords would be all frayed, is that what you're saying? Or just to safety on top of. The state of California has determined that.

[Adam Carolla]

You cannot run this the run group. I mean the sanctioning body has determined I drive the car, I would be fine in the car. The belts are fine to me. But they say 2017, so they gotta come out. But I got belts from another car and I just unclipped those belts and brought those belts to clip in to this car.

[Guest/Caller]

You say your belts went stale, all.

[Adam Carolla]

Right, yeah, everything's got a date. Fresh buy your hans device, your head and neck restraint system. Things got a date.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

So they're kind of uniform from car to car. You're able to swap with little problem.

[Adam Carolla]

We got a couple of those cars. So what it is is I drove another car last year which got new belts, so I know those belts are good. And I drove a car three weeks ago whose belts are good. So I know those belts. And yes, you clip them into an eye hook underneath the seat. Right, left. And then tie them around the roll bar behind you. And yes, you can universally take a set of these belts out a six way harness and put it made to clip into any car as long as the car's there, set up to receive it, which we are. So that's good. Then they want to know the date on your helmet, date on your fire. They want to inspect all your equipment and then they want to inspect the car. They want to know you got a net in the window and is your fire bottle charged and are you running the right tires. You don't get to just run whatever tires you want.

[Guest/Caller]

Fingernails, your mouthpiece, your cup.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right, that's right. And then do that thing. That's no more rotic thing. Oh yeah.

[Guest/Caller]

How much grease do you have on you?

[Adam Carolla]

That's what they're trying to figure out. So they'll tell you, here's the tires we're running. You run those tires, they'll give you a choice. Here's three.

[Guest/Caller]

All right, so now you got a. I'm a layman. So you're saying different tires, so what? Slicks. I know that's a thing.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Which is three different types of. There's like bias. There are three different. Of the same type, the three different manufacturers. Bias pop, bias ply versus radial. Bias ply is old fashioned. Radial is new fashion, new fangled. And they don't want you on anything newfangled. So you got to run the old style tires. So I want everyone, they're looking for parity. They want everyone on the same tires, or at least the period correct tires. They want everything kind of done the same. People try to cheat, that happens. But they're trying to. They're trying to get some parity going. Then the car gets towed there and it gets unloaded. They'll let you unload it in the infield and then drive the truck and the trailer and go park it on the hill somewhere. Then the car gets pushed through tech and push your equipment through tech with the car. You don't have to have the equipment on or anything. Just put it with the car. And then they give you a sticker and they'll give you a bracelet and they'll put a sticker on your helmet and they'll put a sticker on the car. And that means you can go out there.

[Guest/Caller]

Farm fresh state.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. And then if you're in the car the first time before you go on a track, you gotta hang your arm out the window and let them see your bracelet. Then they'll check the sticker on the helmet, then they'll check the sticker on the car. And then you can go out in the track.

[Guest/Caller]

All right, so we're fully backstaged all the way through and then down to the finish to the start line.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Then you do a race Thursday morning, you do a race Friday afternoon, and you do the actual race Saturday afternoon or morning. So then it's all qualifying. So you train a bit then.

[Guest/Caller]

Oh, the rowing machine, huh? Been training. Because this is going to be. I mean, how many hours is an hour worth turning and twisting or what? We take it all lefts.

[Adam Carolla]

What's going on? It's not that much. It's only like 25 minutes. But that's the race. You'd be in the car for a half hour before that. So you're kind of tucked in and it's all good. It's just a lot of adrenaline for what's up. Camelback on this thing or what?

[Guest/Caller]

I'm trying to imagine myself going through this hard thing with the hot lights and. Oh, man, you know, you fire that thing up. Man, it got into my lizard brain. I got anxious, nervous. All that noise.

[Adam Carolla]

It's loud. Well, they have cool suits. A cool suit is just a vest that you wear underneath your fire suit. And it's got surgical tubing going back and forth all through it like ribs. And it just goes to a cooler that sits next to you. Cause there is no passenger seat. There's just a floor. You just strap it down and then you Fill that thing with ice and water, and then it just pumps cold water through your chest, your heart, and your lungs, which is good, especially if you're older. Dudes, they get a little hot in there. Now, Laguna Seca is not that hot because it's in pebble beach, and it always runs about 65, 70 degrees in there. But if you go to Willow Springs in the high desert in August or something, it's gonna be 120 degrees in the car. So you'd want to get a cool suit. Now, I was presented at Willow Springs in a professional Trans Am race I did several years ago with the cool suit pass of the weekend. That means whoever had the best pass gets the cool suit pass of the weekend, which I received. And then it was promised to me they would ship me a cool suit, but I never got the cool suit. Yeah, you know what?

[Guest/Caller]

I'll go push up on them for you. I mean, look, I've done the work before.

[Adam Carolla]

I've done. I've gotten two. Well, I've gotten three awards. None of them worked out. I got the cool suit pass of the weekend with no cool suit. Never got shipped. These are rich guy proms, because when you're poor, you go there and go, where's my fucking cool suit? But I. Fuck it. I got the Mac Tilton Hard Charger award, which is good for $100 off any tilt in product, which makes clutches and flywheels and other parts. Mac Tilt was a famous builder parts guy from probably the 60s or 70s. There's stickers in my car say tiltin on it. And you could get a tilt and clutch or tilt and fly. That'd be $100 off any Tilton product. I don't know where that gift card is. I lost that.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Not sure that gift card would make.

[Guest/Caller]

Much damage into 100 bucks on a $10,000 piece. All right, appreciate it.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know, Andrew, look up who Mac Tilton is. Probably SoCal. Hot rodder, speed guy. You know, lots of those guys came back from World War II and ended up. They came to SoCal and they made parts.

[Guest/Caller]

Sounds like a rapper that used to be a pimp.

[Adam Carolla]

Mack Tilton. It's a good name. Clutches and flywheels. But, you know, these guys expand then. So I'm 02. I'm 0 for 2 with the cool suit pass. I'm. Oh. For the Mac Tilton $100 off the hard charger award. Hard chargers, like the BMF belt. It's like most improved. It's like. Well, you started Pretty far back. And then you made your way up to the middle. But that's not exactly winning the race. But you pass enough guys.

[Guest/Caller]

I would hope that Tilton would bestow such an honor upon me.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I don't know if Mac's around anymore.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Well, buses are in 2018.

[Guest/Caller]

Hey, I'll go to 2018.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

He's also renowned for competitive rifle ing versus a shooter.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, well, I would say Mac Tilton is probably an engineer, fabricator. Probably knows his way around a lathe.

[Guest/Caller]

Probably thick with clay pigeons.

[Adam Carolla]

If he's making aluminum flywheels, then he knows his way around a lathe. He's a machinist, probably. And if he's a machine guy, he's probably making guns too. But anyway, I don't know. There any surviving Tilton members? I can claim my $100 off my next aluminum flywheel. And then, of course, years and years ago, when I was at Monterey Historic for the Rolex Historics, I did win the coveted Rolex cup, which sounds like a victory.

[Guest/Caller]

I mean, it is, but nice to put on your resume.

[Adam Carolla]

It sounds like a victory. Except for the part where everyone says, you won the Rolex Cup. Yeah. Come with a watch? No. Oh, sorry. And then they walk away, and then I feel bad about winning a Rolex Cup. So over three? I would say over three in the winning department.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

What are you not going to win this weekend?

[Adam Carolla]

I won the Wysock Drop trophy in the Ren Sport. That was good. Okay, that worked. I don't know. I admired.

[Guest/Caller]

Did I give you a Submariner sub?

[Adam Carolla]

No. I didn't even get a sub from Quiznos.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Now the whole time you're sitting in that car waiting for the race to start, how much of your mind is thinking about Rick Caruso's yacht?

[Adam Carolla]

Well, Rick Caruso's yacht. He got a race car on there? No, Rick Caruso's yacht. By the way, you can enjoy the vlog, which is out. Now, listen, first off, I was thinking about how I didn't know the name of the boat. There's a title, there's not a surname, but there's the name of a boat that takes you to a bigger boat, like a ferry. Yeah, but that's not it. That's a boat that takes skip, but there's a tender. I think it's a tender boat. Right. And it was one of those revelations I had because you hang around rich guys. I'm 61 and I've heard the word tender boat 10 minutes ago. It's like when I was 40 and I was yelling, what do you mean, second sheet? Second sheet. Who needs two sheets? What do you do with the top sheet, Idiot? You don't need a top sheet. Like, And I realized, oh, I'm from poor people. Like, I was around rich people last weekend in Reno, and I said, yeah, I think we gotta take a smaller boat to the big. He goes, yeah, I had a tender that was 40ft, but I got rid of it. I got a bigger one.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah, the only tenders you guys had held gravy, and that wasn't even that good.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, our tenders had honey dipping sauce, right? Yeah, I think it's called the tender. Anyway, caruso's boat is 215ft long. So I'm, I'm looking.

[Guest/Caller]

What are you going to do, start fighting the Spanish Armada?

[Adam Carolla]

I, I, I don't know, but I'm, I'm looking forward to hopping on that tender. Hell, yeah. Can you. Did I talk about this? And tell me. You guys just tell me if I'm right or wrong with this, but wrong. I told, I told my son, I said, we're going on Rick Caruso's yacht. By the way, once you get over 200ft, I don't know, you're a vessel or ship. Like, yacht's not good. You know, that's Gilligan's island shit.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

That's like, it ain't no schooner.

[Alan Dershowitz]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

So I, So I said, I said to my son, I said, going on sociati. He goes, yeah, yeah, look that up. Yeah, I'm looking forward to that. He said, yeah, I talked to a couple of people, and I can't remember who he talked to. It was like, I talked to one of mom's friends about it. I said, guess how big Rick Caruso's yacht is. And she said to him, to my son, five stories. And then I said, she gave you the height? And he said, yeah. And they said, someone else told me that mom or mom's friend or somebody else said they guessed height. I said, how big's the yacht? They said, height. I said, sonny, I don't know how this is gonna come across, but that means you're talking to a dumb person. I don't know how else to describe it. You don't need to know anything about yachts. And by the way, that person is globally dumb. It's not that they got a blind spot for sh. General. That's just not a smart. You're not talking to a smart person. I don't know how else to say it.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Not limited to maritime Adventure.

[Adam Carolla]

It's expansive, it's global, it can be applied to almost any subject. You're just not talking to a smart person. If you say, guess how big this yacht is? And they give you the height and not the length, by the way, the height is unknowable. Really, because are we going from the keel? Are we going from the water line? Are we going. They're called decks from the engine room. Yeah, I. And by the way, I'm smart. I don't know. I have no idea how many stories are decked, but you're just talking to a dumb person, that's all. That's all. That's all.

[Guest/Caller]

The Caruso Carnival Cruise line with the 6, 4, 6 floor smokestack.

[Adam Carolla]

So I'm looking forward to that. Be good. Good at the track. If anyone's listening and going to be out there, just come by, say hi, hang out, you know, take a picture. All that good stuff.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

You got that quail thing at Pebble Beach?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I got the quail thing. Dawson, I think you could identify. The Quail is the greatest thing ever. I'm doing it, interviewing Pete Brock, who built the car that I'm taking. Greatest guy in the world, everything's fine. And I'm doing the interview series with him. You know, the stage Now Pete Brock and Adam Carolla interviews him. So they give you passes. The retail on a ticket to the Quail is three grand. A ticket. Yeah, that is three grand. No concert, no. No gift bag, no nothing. It's just three grand. And you get to walk around and you can have oysters, you're going to have Spanish food, you can have Chinese or you can have it all, you know, TED Talk. Have some champagne, have some wine, have some craft beer, maybe. Maybe some cocktails. But it's basically three grand. You walk around a golf course, you look at cars and you drink champagne and the place sells out every single time.

[Guest/Caller]

Sound like a good time?

[Adam Carolla]

And it's just a bunch of rich people walk around and it's the greatest thing ever. But normally the schedule is do the qualifying Friday morning, jump out of the car and hustle over to the Quail. Gotta drive over the. Over the hills and far away. Get to the Quail, try to get there by noon and get all the eating and drinking you can get in for till like 4 o'. Clock.

[Guest/Caller]

There's a country club on other side.

[Adam Carolla]

Country club. It's the best. It's the best. Here's the problem. Not getting into the car that day until 5pm which is fine, but no Boozing at the Quail.

[Guest/Caller]

Yeah.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Oh, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Or you could eat an oyster champagne and just. Just pick a cut off. Just pick a cut off.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Laguna Seca.

[Adam Carolla]

I know, but it doesn't look good walking around with a high ball and then going, I'm there. Getting in the car in about 40 minutes now, bitch, get out of my grill.

[Guest/Caller]

Where's my balaclava?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, so that'll be good. All right. So stuff to get into here. They made a little news over the weekend that they were asking Stephen a. I think he was on Bill Maher show. And Buttigieg. Pete Buttigieg polling at 0% with the black folk. And also you can find the clip of him talking about the overpasses. Andrew, which I just love. Because first off, okay, there's so many things about this that I love. I just want to get into it. Buttigieg is only around because he's gay. That's it. He's nothing. He has no history. He was mayor of Indiana or something. South Bend or something.

[Guest/Caller]

I thought he was an army.

[Adam Carolla]

He was. And then he was mayor of South Bend, Indiana. He's there. Listen, Biden did a whole DEI cabinet. Look at Biden's cabinet. He's got trannies in there. He's got gays, he's got tons of women. He's got blacks, he's got Hispanic. That's all the criteria. He's got a vice president that's. I don't know what. But it's all based on that. And lo and behold, everyone's shitty at their job.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

He put in that guy Bakaria.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, Javier Bacaria. Okay, so this is Buttigieg, who's. He's made transportation secretary now for me, I would like all his time, resources and energy going into fixing a decrepit airline system. Let's just say our air traffic controller computers need updating. They're 50 years old. So as a traveler, that's where I would like his time, money and attention. But he put his focus on this. If an underpass was constructed such that a bus carrying mostly black and Puerto Rican kids to a beach or there.

[Alan Dershowitz]

Would have been in New York was.

[Adam Carolla]

Designed too low for it to pass by. But that obviously reflects racism that went.

[Alan Dershowitz]

Into those design choices.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't think we have anything to lose by confronting that simple reality. And I think we have everything to gain by acknowledging it and then dealing with it, which is why the reconnecting communities. That billion dollars. All right, you just got butt fluked. You got butt fucked by the blacks. Cuz I tweeted out this guy gets 0% with the blacks. I said he spent his whole time focusing on racist overpasses. And this is how you guys pay him back? With fucking zero? I love when the intersectional people turn. He's only there cuz he's gay. Fine. And then the idea is, is, well now what can we do for black people so we can get votes from black people? So we'll just blow a bunch of sunshine up black people's asses. They don't give a fuck about overpasses. They have other concerns. But then they don't vote for you because it turns out blacks are racist and they don't like gay dudes either. All right, here we go.

[Guest/Caller]

Homophobic.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right. Democratic primary voters, 16% would support Buttigieg. That's the highest of any candidate. Pete Buttigieg. I don't believe it. I think that's just a poll number. I can't see that happening. Okay, but wait, 16% black voters. Zero. Zero. You don't usually see zero anywhere. Zero's low. For who?

[Commercial Voiceover]

For Buttigieg?

[Adam Carolla]

Explain that. I mean, why do black voters have this? I mean, he's a nice guy. Yeah, he's under indexing a little bit with black voters. Yeah, a little. What is that all about? He doesn't move us. Yeah, he's gay. He's gay and you guys are homophobic. I respect the man. All right, we just gonna talk. Are you okay? Black guy? What's up? Not the truth. That's not what's up. He doesn't move us. He's gay. You don't like that? Fine, fine. But you don't like it and that's why you're not voting for him. That's it.

[Guest/Caller]

That'd be quite the coalition. Gay white dudes in black America.

[Adam Carolla]

Now if he was gay and black, you'd have a conundrum because you need to vote for the black person cuz you're black. What's he gonna do for us? I just love it. He's only there cuz he's gay. He's gonna suck up to the blacks as much as he can because that's his coalition. But he can't get anywhere because he can't get their vote because they're homophobic. Good. You all deserve everything you get.

[Guest/Caller]

There's a liberal fragmentation, like everybody's their own thing. So nobody can be all together.

[Adam Carolla]

Stop asking what people are going to do for you and your community. Just fucking get to work. All they can do Is lower regulation a little, lower taxes a little. And try to make schools a little better and get the potholes out of the roads and then you can go fucking to work or not, but they're not gonna do shit for you. But it is funny that they're all turning on each other and Stephen A. Won't tell the truth cuz he doesn't wanna throw his tribe under the bus. But it's homophobic. It's what it is. All right, let's be generous and say they're more traditional. The thing here's the weird thing about the Democrats. They don't realize that Hispanics and blacks are like more church going and more traditional. And they're trying to hit them with all the trans shit. First off, they don't like it. They don't like the gay shit, they don't like the trans shit. And they don't give a fuck about the environment. They give a fuck about food cost and rent. Yeah, okay, but, but keep pandering to them.

[Guest/Caller]

The pandering, the wrong direction. They're like pandering underneath them on accident, I understand.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it used to be. Okay, who famously said a car in every garage and a chicken in every pot? Roosevelt, I don't know.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Franklin Roosevelt.

[Adam Carolla]

We can look it up, look it up. But what year was that? The whole point is if someone went, I'll put a car in your garage and I'll put a chicken in your pot. 41 Herbert Hoover.

[Guest/Caller]

There we go.

[Adam Carolla]

What year was that? Must have been 34, mid-30s, early-30s. 28. Okay, all right, so 19, 28, a guy's going, look, give you a car, give you a couple of chickens. Okay, now we're going to give some sort of land acknowledgement for indigenous people. Don't worry, we're going to have a trans representation. I'm not talking about transportation, I'm talking about trannies all over the fucking White House. We'll have a gay pride parade over there. And don't worry, you're going to get a rainbow crosswalk where you live. And then something about polar bear population and people go, where's my fucking chicken and where's my fucking pot? That's what they say.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Ironically, he did this in the 28 election and the stock market crashed in 29, so no chickens.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, by the way, you're not getting any chickens or any pots either, but at least tempt the black community with chicken.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

With chicken and pot.

[Adam Carolla]

They love, they love chicken.

[Guest/Caller]

Yeah, but way before that somebody said all you need to keep the population Chill is bread and circuses.

[Adam Carolla]

Mmm.

[Guest/Caller]

And as long as we got that, as long as there are enough soda to go around, I think everybody's gonna lay back and fight amongst each other about the silliest things.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

How'd that work out, though?

[Adam Carolla]

So I'm. I think it's funny that Pete Buttigieg gets a fucking zero because the people he's sucking up to don't like him.

[Guest/Caller]

That really sucks.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, it doesn't suck because he fucking sucks anyway, so who cares?

[Guest/Caller]

But his whole deal is, hey, that's a racist ass bus and a racist ass overpass. I'm gonna fix it.

[Adam Carolla]

Hey. All right. Jesus Christ.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Funny, though. Remember when the. I believe it was the mayor of Oakland. Maybe not the mayor, but someone went to. During. COVID Went to Tony, Tony, Tony. Yeah, and she was moved.

[Adam Carolla]

She was moved.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

She was moved by Tony, Tony, Tony. But Pete Buttigieg doesn't move you now.

[Guest/Caller]

He can't do the running man. He can't do the cabbage patch. He can't even do, I don't know, the Christmas move.

[Adam Carolla]

She was moved by the rhythm. Yeah. That's London braid. Yeah. I'm telling you, you can tell where everyone is on the intersectional points hierarchy because it's not where they are. It's when they get busted.

[Guest/Caller]

Oh, yeah? What, you mean like a Venn diagram?

[Adam Carolla]

Gavin Newsom, who we all hate is. The problem with Gavin is he's heterosexual, he's white, he's tall, he's good looking, and he's rich.

[Guest/Caller]

Well, I can change that first part.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, just get me in a room. When Gavin Newsom gets busted, he has to apologize because he has no intersectional points to land on. You know what I mean? When a black mayor, female, and, like, especially when. What's her name, from Chicago? Lori Lightfoot. Lori Lightfoot is black, lesbian, and female. So when she gets busted, she just goes, fuck you. I do what I want. You can't come. What are you gonna do, fire me? It's a hate crime to. It's a hate crime to discipline me. So when Gavin Newsom. Let's just look at it this way. It's easy. It's real easy. Gavin Newsom, zero intersectional points. He has no points. He's heterosexual, he's tall, he's white, he's not even fat. He doesn't have no intersectional points. He goes to the French Laundry. He gets busted, he has to have a presser and apologize to everyone. Okay, Lori Lightfoot has got triple points. Lesbian, black, female, maybe even four homely she's got all going on, right? She gets busted for getting her hair done during COVID after shutting down all the hair salons. And she gets in, has a presser, goes fuck off. Because I got intersectional points because I'm a lesbian and I'm black and I'm a woman. So she goes, I like, I'm not doing my own hair. I care about what I look like. Go pound some fucking sand.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

She should only get two of those though, because lesbian implies woman. I know, but I know that's double dipping though. That's double dipping. I'll go out to double dipping victim.

[Adam Carolla]

I'll go to my glove box and check my laminate. Yeah, but I'm pretty sure it's three I got on the other side. It's a tipping thing. And then there's another one that has the golf rules to it. But she gets three intersectional points. You watch when white dudes fuck up, how fast they have to run out and apologize. When black chicks fuck up, they go, fuck you. Like, they're like, hey London breed. You know you should. You want to be at the Toni Toni Tony concert when you told everyone they can't be in crowds anymore. She's a gay man. They don't come to town that often.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Moved by the spirit.

[Adam Carolla]

And when the spirit hits you, man, you got to get them moved. So don't tell me about masks. It's a weird thing. She doesn't even. It's weird because it's not bred in them that they need to apologize. Because anytime you call, you can just call anyone a racist. Anytime anyone asks you a question you don't like. And so you never get that gear. You don't get that muscle. I'm not making this up. Holmes.com. some might say Homes.com is the best home shopping site. And maybe Homes.com's super comprehensive and transparent agent directory. Or maybe it's at Homes.com is the only site that always directly connects you with the listing agent who knows the home the best. Or perhaps it'[e-mail] has the most the most in depth neighborhood content of any home shopping site that's extensively researched to highlight the personality of each neighborhood. Homes.com goes above and beyond to bring home shoppers the in depth info they need to find the right home. And that's you and that's your next home. I love hanging out on this website. Just kicking tired, seeing what's out there. So you're looking for a home or you're just checking comps homes.com, that's homes.com. we've done your homework.

[Commercial Voiceover]

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[Adam Carolla]

Mm. Well, Bill Clinton, who didn't apologize after getting caught. Now there's also. Don't get me wrong, the white man can just lie. Oh, yeah, Clinton just lied. I'm saying you gotta get busted. Like if we had film of you getting sucked off by Monica Lewinsky, then you have to. Then he'd have to apologize. So a white guy, Gavin Newsom, knows there's film of him at the French laundry with 30 of his closest friends. Now, if that didn't exist, then he would lie. That's how it works. Also, there's no more lying anymore because there's this film of everything. True. They're trying. Well, they try. They try.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

You know how many officers were killed on January 6th?

[Adam Carolla]

That's true. There's like 150.

[Guest/Caller]

Six.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, zero. Yeah, six, but zero. Nobody. Yeah, you're right. You're right. They try. They try. All right. The other thing I wanted to get into is, what do you think of this? There's a clip. Andrew has it. Colorado's trying to get the Gay Games. I don't know what the fuck happened at Colorado. Colorado used to be the Denver Broncos and Rocky Mountain and John Denver and Coors beer. Announces one big homo circle.

[Guest/Caller]

Yeah, we got legal. Everybody got blurry.

[Adam Carolla]

You know what I mean? Colorado got up badly. It was like cowboys and mountain men and Broncos and. And now it's just one. One big fucking gay cocktail. But I'll play the. I think we have. I like the commercial. They're trying to get the Gay Games to come to Colorado. I got thoughts about the Gay Games and I don't know. And I'm curious. As a high level sportsman. Mayhem. I'm curious what you think about.

[Guest/Caller]

Well, I'm wondering first of all about the mixed martial arts Jiu Jitsu competition. What the uniform looks like.

[Alan Dershowitz]

Ah.

[Guest/Caller]

Secondly, mixed martial arts. I would like that if in basketball I could just like kiss LeBron James on the mouth and go and win gold, baby.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, let's see. I don't know that I like the commercial. It was a. It was a commercial that they tweeted out about Come to the Gay Games. Not a still picture, but if we have it, we have it. If we don't, how gay you gotta.

[Guest/Caller]

Be to playing this together out west together.

[Alan Dershowitz]

Let's take the Gay Games to new heights. Denver is ready.

[Adam Carolla]

Let's show the world that Colorado is a place where we champion gay governor championship for every athlete. Because we've got diversity. Black guy first game, male on the campus first trans every kind of part. I'm sure it would first everyone feels included out west Leslie band, let's go for the gold out west Be loud and proud out west Love who you want out west Come out as you are People are such a joke. That's why you have a huge homeless problem and people are leaving. But all right. Denver's gay. All right, everyone's gay. Everyone's the first. The first ever. The first trans. First black, black, trans, lesbian, gay. It's all good. Oh, good. But it doesn't make you better at your job, you know. You know who I hope in my race? First black, gay, lesbian, race car drivers ever. That's who I hope inhabits my race. But I've got a bunch of fucking hard charging heterosexual old white dudes who know how to fucking drive. And that's gonna be tough for me. But I wish it was all a bunch of groundbreaking gay and trans. I hope the trans community replaces the Trans Am community and shows up to this race so I can race against the first. Because I'll have a lot more experience than them and I'll be better than them.

[Guest/Caller]

Is the Gay Games athletic competition? Because I just saw a lot of posing.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay, well, let me, let me ask you this. Mayhem, all right? Now I'm in love with this idea.

[Guest/Caller]

But you give me a tough ass gay dude, I'll teach him how to choke somebody flat out.

[Adam Carolla]

Now that's not what I'm talking about, okay? I'm talking about they called auto erotic asphyxiation.

[Guest/Caller]

Yeah, obviously.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, you our warrior with many, many bouts in the ufc, much more experienced than what the Gay Games guys would have traditionally. What's to stop you from saying I'm gay and I'm going to enter the Gay Games and then whooping up on the gay guys. It's legally sanctioned gay bashing at this point. It's you. You wanted a gay bash. You can do it for free. And no court in the land will convict you because we're going to enter you in the Gay Games. Now let me tell you what, Let me tell you my idea, okay? There's nothing on your license that says you're gay. I know I can't tell.

[Guest/Caller]

I know.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know the whole premise. And every one of these people could be just 23 year old single dudes. No way to do this. And how do we know some guys, not some frat boys, not gay at all, who just wants to join and whoop up on the gays. All right, so well, then you have.

[Guest/Caller]

To go home and take it to your daddy. The gay games, trophy games, metal simple.

[Adam Carolla]

Way to do this. You ready? All right, I've said it. But it's been a long time.

[Guest/Caller]

You got to blow somebody on the way to the octagon.

[Adam Carolla]

Not quite. All right, there is a thing called the 24 hours of lemons. Not the 24 hours of Le Mans. 24 hours of lemons. All right, it's a 24 hour car race that teams enter and they take these old jalopies and they fix them up and they enter them. Okay.

[Guest/Caller]

How long they been doing this lemon party?

[Adam Carolla]

At least 20 years, I would say. It's been going on for a long time. Feels like it was like 30 maybe. Sometimes it starts and it's regional and it's around and then it starts expanding. But the 20, you can look it up, Dawson. The 24 hours of lemons.

[Guest/Caller]

Okay, the website's lemonparty.org right?

[Adam Carolla]

Hmm.

[Guest/Caller]

Not none.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, so here's the point. They say, what's to stop somebody from just buying a kick ass brand new Corvette and showing up and whooping ass on these guys? Well, because they go, well, the most you can spend on your car is like $4,000. That's the rule. Okay, but what if I saw a really cool car for $10,000 and I just bought it and I said I paid $4,000? What are they going to do? How are they going to know? How are they going to know? How they going to know? How are they going to know you're gay? Well, I'll tell you what the 24 hours of lemons do. They look around and they find a car that's too nice and too new and too fast and they crush it. And then they look around, they go, anyone else want to get.

[Guest/Caller]

I like their style.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay, so the gay games.

[Guest/Caller]

I can't wait till I get old enough gay games.

[Adam Carolla]

We just line them all up. Yep, we just line them all up. And the dude just walks in from him, pants down. Not yet. Okay. Just walking and looking and walking and looking. At some point he just stops.

[Guest/Caller]

Yep.

[Adam Carolla]

Pulls his hog out and goes. Starts sucking.

[Guest/Caller]

You're not even.

[Adam Carolla]

That would eliminate the straight guy crossover. That's what I'm saying. It's basically the same thing. The 24 hours of lemons.

[Guest/Caller]

And it's a Russian guy, so you could call it Russian roulette.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right. Get a little Russian dressing out there. Does it give a number, Dawson, for the max you can spend for a car on the 24 hours of lemons, which I've been to before.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Class A, $400.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, 400. It's not 4,000.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Class B, $500.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, no.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Those are the winning prizes.

[Adam Carolla]

My bad.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I'm looking still.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay.

[Guest/Caller]

Can we rig up a jalopy? That would just explode everywhere for me, you know what I mean? Safely but still like spectacularly. And I'll go race in The Lemon Party 5000.

[Adam Carolla]

The Lemon. I don't even know if it's 24 hours. But it's a team. And they do their cars up like the dude operate or something. Or it's like, you know, it's kind of like that Red Bull wing stuff. You know, it's kind of like that. But it's gotta have safety stuff in it. Cause they are racing and there's gasoline and cars and stuff like that. And I think the rule is just what you can spend on the car. Because obviously otherwise someone would get a spec Miata and soup it up and just go whoop ass.

[Guest/Caller]

Is that four G's?

[Adam Carolla]

I don't.

[Guest/Caller]

Honda Civic in my future called Tricked Out.

[Adam Carolla]

You can look.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

The vehicle's original manufacturer stated curb weight may not exceed £4,200. That's the only thing I'm finding.

[Guest/Caller]

All right.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

The vehicles must be acquired and prepared for a maximum of $500, excluding safety gear.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, okay. That's awesome. All right. Well, there you go. But some guys going to get a little greedy and put a lot more into it. And that's where Robosaurus comes in. Robosaurus crushes that thing. And then we got Carcasaurus who shows up at the gay games and gets the hog out. And that's how we keep it all above board. All right, we got some news. Take a quick break. Be right back. Oh, no, wait. We're not taking a quick break, sir. We're just rolling right into the news.

[Guest/Caller]

We'll jump right into it. Hey, some tennis stories. I know you love tennis. Emma Radukanu. Once a crying baby removed during an epic 23 minute game.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, crying baby.

[Guest/Caller]

Kick the crying baby out of there. I think we got some.

[Adam Carolla]

I got a clip. Good. I want to see this, because I got thoughts.

[Alan Dershowitz]

It's a child.

[Adam Carolla]

Do you want me to send the child out of the stadium? Yeah. All right. We talked about this yesterday. Stop bringing your fucking babies places. What's the thing with the babies everywhere? I. You don't need to bring them to the NASCAR event. You don't need to bring them to the concert. You don't need to bring them to Wimbledon. You don't need their babies. I don't. First off, what the fuck is in it for you? Like if somebody said, oh, hey, Adam. Yeah. I know you're pretty pumped about the race and the quail and Caruso's yacht and all that good stuff and the Acura party and everything else. I went, yeah. And they went, oh, oh, here. Here's an infant. You got to just kind of pack. His name is Joel. He's got kind of take him with you. I'd be like, well, fuck that. I mean, it's gonna fucking ruin everything. I'm gonna lose him. I gotta set him down. Where's he going at the track? I don't want to fucking. I'm going to have fun. Not tote around a seven month old.

[Guest/Caller]

Yeah.

[Alan Dershowitz]

So.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay, look, babies and dogs, they're just. We shouldn't allow them everywhere. Just get the fuck out of here. And people go, well, I want to go to the tennis tournament, but I had a baby nine months ago. Then you stay fucking home. Stay home. Or you get your mother in law to watch the kid while you go, but you don't bring the fucking kid. So that's number one. Kid shouldn't be there. But then number two.

[Guest/Caller]

All right, so then wait.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, yeah, wait, did they throw the kid out? Man, I throw the fucking kid and the mom out. Okay, but also. Okay, let me ask you this.

[Guest/Caller]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

A month and a half ago, some guy we can find tape was about to serve at like, Wimbledon and somebody popped a champagne card and the guy had to stop. Yeah, okay. Oh, we have that. All right, let me just play this for you. It's a woman. It's going to serve. Thank you.

[Guest/Caller]

Ladies and gentlemen, if you could avoid opening bottles of champagne when the players are about to.

[Adam Carolla]

She had to stop and discuss.

[Guest/Caller]

I love that it's warm.

[Adam Carolla]

It's the most Wimbledon warning you've ever heard. Okay, okay, okay, first off, you're hitting a tennis ball and you're doing a motion that this bitch has done since she was 5, right? How many times? How many serves? Now this bitch is 28. And at Wimbledon, how many serves has she served up 200 billion since age 5. I mean, it's just all muscle memory. It's one motion. Fine. Why do we need church library silence for you to fucking do the fucking thing you've been doing since you were five at camp. Times a billion, Number one. Number two, why do we make as much noise as we want kicking a Super bowl game winning field goal? The fucking guy. I mean, poor Scott norwood. It's got 46 yards, fucking outdoors, cold and swirling wind, the stadium of 100,000 people screaming their fucking heads off. There's some middle linebacker who's jumping up and down, flapping his arms up and down, just trying to get one tenth of one piece of his attention. Then the coach calls the timeout.

[Guest/Caller]

Timeout.

[Adam Carolla]

Freeze him. Freeze the kicker, freeze him. Literally, the ball snaps, he takes two steps for it and the ref jumps in. No, no, no, we're not doing it. Go back, stand there in the cold outdoors for a while in February, and then we'll come back when he's ready. We're going to go to TV commercial. What's harder? Okay, okay, forget it. In the consequence department. In the consequence department. Missing a serve. Missing a serve in the middle of a fucking match in the middle of a game. And you get a second serve, you get a second one. Missing that consequential. I mean, there's a 40% chance you miss your first serve anyway into the net because that's the one where they're trying, right? Okay. Or kicking a fucking field goal that's going to take your team to the Super Bowl. Or win the super bowl with giant.

[Guest/Caller]

Monsters rushing at you all together.

[Adam Carolla]

And you've got the mascot, he's standing underneath the goalpost, jumping up and down, flapping his arms. The guy's honking air horns out in the fucking thing. All right, forget about that. There's one second left on regulation. You got two free throws and you make both. It'll tie it and send it in overtime. Game 7, NBA Finals. The other team, the backboard is clear so you can see. And then everyone is on their fucking feet, jumping up and down, taking signs, yelling, you suck. Making as much noise. They fat that. Why is that all? Oh, that's all? Hey, you know what that is? That's part of the game. You got. Ignore that shit. If you're fucking. Hey, if you're. If you kick field goals, keep your head down. Ignore. Ignore all the shit that's being screamed and all the people jumping up and down. But if you play golf or tennis, oh, it's San Crist. We can't go near you. No, nothing.

[Guest/Caller]

You just move Wimbledon to Philly.

[Adam Carolla]

Hey, bitch, hit the fucking ball. Hit the ball. You don't think you can hit the ball with somebody coughing or baby crying or court going off? And don't worry, you got a second. What have you told professional. What have you told kickers in the NFL? Listen, you missed the first one. That's fine because you got a backup, you can do it again. No do overs. And last I checked, nobody served and hit the net and the game ended. It's in the middle of the fucking game. It's not consequential at all. Why? Why the reference?

[Guest/Caller]

Yeah, you know, I think tradition, because, you know, the Wimbledon fans wouldn't quite be the NFL.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm just saying. Hey, bitch, someone's crying. Now serve the fucking ball. Hey, bitch, somebody popped some champagne. Now serve the fucking ball. Serve the ball, your highness.

[Guest/Caller]

That's what I mean, the fucking ball.

[Alan Dershowitz]

That's what I'm getting at.

[Guest/Caller]

It's a like, very princely game down there, you know, it's like aristocratic. It's like the.

[Adam Carolla]

Where does serving your first serve in the middle of a fucking game, in the middle of a tournament land in importance to a clutch field goal? Like, you miss this, you're out of the playoffs. You're going home like Jesus goddamn Christ. Get over it, bitches.

[Guest/Caller]

Yeah, it's opposite ends of the spectrum.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, all right. Sorry.

[Guest/Caller]

We were just chatting it up about that champagne.

[Adam Carolla]

By the way, the chicks. The chicks who play tennis grunt and make more noise than strongmen competition guys, I swear to God.

[Guest/Caller]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

When they do the fucking keg toss, they got a fucking keg filled with cement that got thrown over an 18 foot bar. That guy makes less noise than a chick returning a tire.

[Guest/Caller]

Quieter in the cage than those girls. I know.

[Adam Carolla]

You know what I'd like to. You know what I would do?

[Guest/Caller]

What?

[Adam Carolla]

You know what I'm going to do? Okay. I'm gonna get an infant. I'm gonna bring it to a tennis tournament and I'm. Put it in my lap. And at some point I'll probably spill my beer on it or something and the infant will start crying.

[Guest/Caller]

Well, I'm gonna pop the champagne and.

[Adam Carolla]

Then say, no, I'm bringing the infant and the infant's gonna cry. And then the bitch on the court's gonna be all high and mighty like, could you please? Whatever. And I'll go, sorry, sorry, sorry.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Excuse you.

[Adam Carolla]

I'll put the infant to bed. I'll put on my make sure. It goes to sleep, and then at some point, 15 minutes later, when she's grunting with every backhand, I'm gonna go, hey, bitch, could you shut up? My infant sleeping and you're fucking grunting wakes up the kid, so shut the fuck up. Because, by the way, nobody makes more noise than them, so shut up. Do we have a policy about noise or not? Anyway, all right, fuck them. It's tennis. Who cares? You should be able. Shooting a crutch, a clutch free throw or kicking a clutch field goal is much more difficult than hitting your first serve and much more pressure and much less forgiving. And they can make as much noise nowadays. Wnba, you're liable to be hit by dildo.

[Guest/Caller]

I should be so lucky.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know. The thing about the dildo throwers. I don't like what our society's devolved to, but I still think it's kind of funny. Exactly. I still think it's funny, but I don't like that that's our society.

[Guest/Caller]

Yeah, me too.

[Adam Carolla]

But it's still funny.

[Guest/Caller]

I mean, speaking of that, you might want to know that LA authorities reveal stiffer penalties for those street meetups. Yeah, they're finally authorities tired of the street meetups. Scuff laws. Thanks, New York Post for the good word. Driving circles around them move to put the brakes on deadly paths are getting.

[Adam Carolla]

Fucking killed doing those things. I don't know.

[Guest/Caller]

It's in my. You know what? It's in my realm of, oh, that's cool and fun on paper, but then everyone gets run over, people start shooting. It's like, you know what I mean? It's funny and awesome, but also all night.

[Adam Carolla]

Listen, cities, you get whatever you deserve. If you want to be lawless, then you get this. Yeah, this is. The street takeover is not about cars. It's not about burnouts, it's not about music. It's not about anything. It's a yardstick to measure lawlessness. So it means your city is lawless. That's what it means when they take over the street. It means you have a society that has crumbled and your city is lawless.

[Guest/Caller]

They're trying to tamp down on it. The previous fine was 1,000 bucks and 90 days in jail. Now it's up to 250 or 200.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. If they force anything, they get busted.

[Guest/Caller]

And for the first, second offense is five.

[Adam Carolla]

Five.

[Guest/Caller]

Oh, I'm sorry, 5,000 for the third offense. So you know what I mean? They're pushing their wallets.

[Adam Carolla]

But here's the. Here's the thing. Everybody. As long as you got a bunch of fucked up families and fucked up kids, you can't keep up with this. Everyone's like, what's going on? Like, you know what's going on in dc? What's with everyone getting shot? What's with all the gangs? What's up? Well, we don't want the military there. We don't want the National Guard. Listen, bitches, you gotta police your kids. You gotta raise your fucking K. There's a bunch of fucking 15 year old kids and no dads and growing up getting brought into gangs. Then you're gonna have this and then you're gonna have the National Guard. Sorry. Or you can raise your kids and all Democrats wanna do is argue over the National Guard. Who's committing the crime? Who's committing the crime? Can we look at. Where are all these people coming from? Yeah, it's a perfect storm. It's people in the streets. There's no barrier. And it's basically guys doing burnouts. It's right in front of the.

[Guest/Caller]

Yeah, right in front of crypto.com arena. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Late at night. Yeah. And just gonna get run over. Okay, people stand. Look, if you. Where are all these people coming from? That's what I'm saying.

[Guest/Caller]

A lot of them are LA natives.

[Adam Carolla]

This is like car, raise your fucking kids is what I'm saying. And we wouldn't have this, and then DC wouldn't have a bunch of year olds that were carjacking people if you raised your fucking kids. You want to talk about that? Cuz I tried. I've done it my whole career. I was like, you guys don't want to get into raising your kids. I mean, when I was on HuffPo 12 years ago, I was like, family and education. What about the school to prison pipe? Family and education. What about family and education? What about the Trail of Tears? Family and education. What about the Japanese internment camp? Family and education. Raise your fucking kids. But is any politician going to talk about that? Are we just going to talk. Are we just going to argue with the byproduct of that, which is the national guard coming into D.C. because you're not raising your kids. And they don't want to get into that because that's racist. So here we are, everyone and all the people who always talk about sitting down having an honest conversation about race. Talk about everything except for that. All right. Mayhem. Yeah, I gotta get that car pressed.

[Guest/Caller]

Get it going, man. I really appreciate you letting me look around that thing. It's a beautiful piece of Art right there.

[Adam Carolla]

I agree.

[Guest/Caller]

Good luck on the race.

[Adam Carolla]

I think it is. All right, let's see. We got Alan Dershowitz and we'll talk to him right after this. O o o'reilly Auto Parts, they're in the business of keeping your car on the road and my case on the track because I've been going to O'Reilly Prepping for a race. O'Reilly Auto Parts offers friendly, helpful service and the parts knowledge you need to maintain and repair your vehicle. I get all my stuff from these guys. I always did. I used to do it because I had to. I couldn't afford a mechanic. Now I do it because it's a hobby. I'm working on my cars. So whether you're a car aficionado or an auto novice, you'll find the employees at O'Reilly Auto Parts are knowledgeable, helpful, and best of all, they are friendly. So let's get started. How about you go by O'Reilly Auto Parts, stop by O'Reilly. They're always there. They're always friendly, they're always helpful. Or you can visit them online@o'reillyauto.com Adam that's o'reillyauto.com Adam hey, this is Adam Carolla from the Adam Carolla Show. Summer is here and Podcast one has a brand new sports podcast. It's the all new Pac Man Jones show called Politely Raw. Now on Podcast one, join former NFL star and Pro bowl cornerback Pac Man Jones as he brings you his unfiltered takes, raw interviews and stories as only he can tell them. If you love sports culture and controversy, you're going to love Politely Raw as nothing is off limits. This makes for an entertaining and compelling listen each and every time. The new Pac Man Jones show Politely Raw episodes drop weekly and are available wherever you find podcasts.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

The good times keep getting gooder because Adam Carolla is coming to your town August 29th in Provo, Utah at Dry Bar, Torrance, California. Sunday, August 31st, two shows at Mom Said Yes. Yes, that's the name of the venue. Mom said yes. And September 6th in Charlotte, North Carolina, two shows at the Comedy Zone. Coming up in September, El Paso, Albuquerque, Flagstaff and more. Get get your tickets for all these incredible [e-mail].

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, Alan Dershowitz, good to speak to you as always. My friend Alan has a book. It's called the Preventive State Challenge of Preventing Serious Harms While Preserving Essential Liberties. It's available right now. Good to speak to you, Alan Dershowitz.

[Alan Dershowitz]

Well, thanks a lot no, it's the right book for this time because it's all about the things that we're trying to prevent, whether it be starvation in Gaza or Iran, getting nuclear weapons or shooting at presidents. It's all in this book. How to balance trying to prevent these horrible things against not confining people too easily or denying people rights. The balance is the important thing. Thanks for having me on about this important issue.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, my pleasure. I live in Los Angeles. The homeless problem gets worse every year, and we have some balance. So we go, these people need to be institutionalized. They have to be gathered up off the streets. They need to be taken somewhere. And then someone says, what about their civil liberties? And then someone goes, well, that's a good point. And then we do nothing. And then 10 years goes by and there's people sleeping everywhere. I went into Sherman Oaks, California, the other day. Sherman Oaks. I used to have a house there. Sherman Oaks is where you went to raise a family. Nice. If you couldn't afford Beverly Hills, Sherman Oaks will do. And I went in there to go to Little Monpah store, just to look like a hardware store. And I went in and the door was locked. And I said, geez, it's noon on a Tuesday. Are they not open today? And a woman came around and unlocked the door, and I said, oh, I didn't know if you were open. She said, well, with the homeless, you know, we have to lock.

[Alan Dershowitz]

No, you're of course right. And just locking the door is a preventive mechanism. You know, interestingly, the origins of my book, the Preventive State are with homelessness. Here's the way it works.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, really?

[Alan Dershowitz]

Started doing my research in the 1960s, I discovered there were more people in mental hospitals locked up than they were in prisons. So we were locking up a million mentally ill people. And I started to write my book about that because many of those people would not have committed crimes or committed suicide. And then along came Ronald Reagan, the governor of California, and he said there were too many people in mental hospitals. So, as is typical with American politics, maybe he overreacted and he freed them all and they went on the street and we didn't strike the appropriate balance. When I started my research, there were too many people in mental hospitals. By the time I finished my research, there are too few people in mental hospitals. The same thing is true with people who try to shoot the President. I mean, my God, to allow those two people the opportunity to take shots at candidate Trump was outrageous. But to lock up everybody who's ever threatened the President, we'd have to build a lot of new prisons or mental hospitals. So how to strike the appropriate balance is the hardest question. And ironically, nobody's asked that question before. We've never had a book or a serious attempt to try to strike the balance between prevention and allowing harms to occur. So this is an effort. It's not the final word. I'm hoping to stimulate other research and books on this, but it's a book that every American should read. By the way, it's not going to be reviewed by the New York Times, even though they reviewed all of my books until the day I defended Donald Trump. The day I defended Donald Trump on the floor of the Senate, they stopped reviewing my books, they stopped quoting me, they canceled me. They put me kind of off the list of people. Even though I had seven New York Times bestsellers, they refused to review any book I've written since the day I defended Donald Trump. That, for them, marked a change in how they will deal with me. Same thing is true with various libraries have banned me since I defended Donald Trump. So I really need to have access to great talk shows like yours, great podcasts like yours, which are, you know, among the best podcasts in the. In the world, in order to speak directly to the reader. If you don't want to be filtered through the New York Times or various libraries, you can get the book directly on Amazon.com that's what's so good about podcasts like yours.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, it took a minute for folks to catch on and catch up. I, believe it or not, spoke at the 92Y some years ago. I'll never be back.

[Alan Dershowitz]

They've banned me completely.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, last book I sold enough to be on the New York Times bestseller list, but never made it on because of their algorithm. And no doc I ever make gets into Sundance. So I understand it firsthand. You can only do that so long before somebody says, well, look, I'm gonna start my own newspaper or start my own station or start my own podcast, and we'll usurp you people that were not helping initially. It's difficult not to get your films into Sundance and not to get your book on the New York Times bestseller list. But they played so fast and loose with their politics and the truth and their discriminatory process that I think they've hurt their brand to a point where. And we've seen it, whether you're a comedian who they're trying to cancel, or whether you're Alan Dershowitz are trying to cancel, or a podcaster, you Know, they just go around them now.

[Alan Dershowitz]

Thank you for that. Look, this is America. And the great thing about America and our First Amendment is the government can't restrict podcasts or any other kind of free speech. They can make it hard, and the mainstream media can make it hard, but in the end, what the people want, they will get either indirectly or directly. And, you know, the concept of the podcast is so important for democracy. If Thomas Jefferson were alive, he'd be having a podcast. I mean, he believed so strongly in the right of the people to get the most diverse information possible. You know, we hear a lot from the left about diversity. It's the last thing they want is diversity. They absolutely want uniformity of opinion out there and not diversity at all.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, they don't like diversity of opinion, which is interesting to me, because they're constantly talking about empowering women and empowering women of color. But if one woman of color pops up and disagrees with them, they get hit harder. Then a white male gets hit because now they're a traitor. So there is no. It's diversity in color, but not in opinion that they have to be lockstep in.

[Alan Dershowitz]

I agree with you. Give you an example of what happened to me yesterday. As you know, people on the left and liberals generally say that people who own bakery shops or have stores shouldn't be able to discriminate based on whether you're black or white or Jewish or gay or anything like that. They're on the side of non discrimination. Yesterday I went to the farmer's market in Massachusetts, Schulmark, where I have a summer home, and I bought my corn. That was fine. And then I went to a little stand that sold pierogi, Polish pierogi. And the guy at the stand said, I'm not selling you. I don't agree with your politics. I don't agree with who you defend. He implied that he also didn't agree that I supported Israel, and so he refused to sell me. And where do you think all the liberals came down? Oh, he has the right not to sell. He has the right anything he wants. You know, it depends whose ox is being gored. Nobody today seems to pass the shoe on the other foot test. You know, if it's good for one, it's good for the other. So I now am without pierogi as a result of the story being public. By the way, about 15 people have offered to make me homemade pierogi. So I'm pierogi party, in which all these people make me pierogi. Will compare it to this guy who wouldn't sell it to me and see which is better. That's the American way. Fight back.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Well, there was the Masterpiece bakery outside of Denver, Colorado, and that poor Christian guy said, I do not want to bake a gay wedding cake because it goes against my faith. And that got holed up to the supreme court in Colorado. And then later on, they wanted him to bake a cake that was a transition cake for a son that was transitioning into a daughter. He refused to do that. That guy's life was destroyed because he told people, I'm sorry, but I cannot serve you. And the left was cheering, cheering his demise.

[Alan Dershowitz]

But there's a big difference. He didn't say just, I won't serve you. He said, I won't use my artistic talents to create a cake with images of gay people. And he's right about that. Just selling a product is very different from creating something artistic that implies support. I have to tell you, selling a pierogi doesn't imply support for anything. It's just the guys in business. Give me six pierogi, I'll give you my $10, and that's the end of it. But no, he wouldn't sell it to me. And apparently a few other people at the same farmer's market have now put me on the band list. So elsewhere. But, you know, that's the cost of being principled.

[Adam Carolla]

Did you ever. And listen, I get it, because I took a stance against Covid almost day one and regulatory and lockdown, and I took a stance against everything in the middle of Hollywood day one. And I get what it's like not to win the popularity contest. You have to be fine with it. By the way, my whole thing is, as long as I'm accurate, then I don't really care what the world thinks.

[Alan Dershowitz]

I completely agree. And fortunately, my family and my real friends are behind me. One of my friends said, oh, just don't make a fuss about it. Just go to the beach. I said, would you have said that to Rosa Parks when she was sitting in the back of the bus? I'm not comparing myself to Rosa Parks, obviously, but, you know, the instinct is always, let it go, let it go. Go to the beach. Just have fun. You can't do that. You have to fight back when they do something that's unprincipled and discriminatory. And, you know, we'll let the courts decide. But I have a thick skin, so I don't worry about it myself.

[Adam Carolla]

Why did you ever envision a world where Alan Dershowitz, Harvard and, you know, toast of the liberal town, would end up having to run serpentine back to the car after being chased out of the pierogistan in Martha's Vineyard or whatever, you know, progressive enclave you're in this time. Did you ever envision that?

[Alan Dershowitz]

No. Well, look, I first came to Martha Savinia to represent Ted Kennedy when he drove off the bridge. Remember that? Chappaquiddick.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, really?

[Alan Dershowitz]

And then I defended Bill Clinton when he was on Martha's Vineyard. And so most of my defendants have been on the liberal left side, but when I defend Donald Trump, people just don't understand. No, I never thought it would ever come to this, but that's what Martha's Vineyard has become. Particularly two towns in Martha's Vineyard, Chilmark and West Tisbury, which are kind of the lefty liberal towns. The library banned me. They won't even carry my books. The library. They won't let me. They used to have me speak every single year. The book fair banned me on Martha's Vineyard. And people are saying to me, why don't you leave Martha's Vineyard and go to a more friendly place? No, I'm not giving up. I'm fighting back. And if it, you know, people say, oh, it's vacation time. I was just buying, you know, corn and produce. I didn't introduce politics. They introduced politics by refusing to serve me. So I'm not gonna sit idly by. I'm gonna fight back.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Alan Dershowitz]

Subject to talk about then, pierogi. So.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, well, let me ask you about Obama. What do you think of the latest predicament he's in? If he is in a predicament and does presidential immunity help? As I was talking to Giuliani earlier in the week, he said something basically, the fact that, well, he was done being president when he made some of the decisions he made involving Steele dossier and Russian disinformation, so on and so forth. What is your take on how this is gonna pan out? An auto pen stuff as well?

[Alan Dershowitz]

Well, let's start with the Obama administration and the Clintons, and these are all friends of mine. You know, I had dinner here on the Vineyard with the Clintons, with Obama, with many of the people who are involved. But there's a problem here, and it has to be explored. Now, Obama's not going to take the Fifth the way some people have, but he will probably invoke presidential immunity, even though he opposed it when it was. Was so broadly given to Donald Trump. So he will take presidential immunity and then the question will be how much of the conduct was presidential and how much of it was outside of his role as president. Nobody's going to prison over this, I don't believe. But I think people will have reputational losses and there'll be a lot of legal fees spent on lawyers to protect people who are getting congressional subpoenas. And that includes people from, you know, the CIA and the FBI and a range of organizations. And ultimately, we'll see the truth come out. Look, Democrats want all the Epstein files to be released. Republicans want all the COVID up files to be released from, you know, the 2016 election. I want everything to be released. I don't believe in secrecy, except for, you know, classified confidential material that is essential for the national security. But otherwise, I just think you need to have complete visibility of all government documents. So I'm in favor of releasing everything, the, the Epstein files, the files involving the Russiagate and everything, and let the public judge.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, there's been allegations against you vis a vis Epstein, and you've always defended yourself quite vigorously, which I appreciate, because I don't, you know, when you get the no comment, it's max to me of a possible guilt. But you've always been upfront about it. I don't know. I really don't know what to think of the whole file or did he kill himself or is Trump's name on there? Is this more of a Clinton thing than a Trump thing? What do you think?

[Alan Dershowitz]

I can tell you a lot about it. First of all, the reason I spoke out is I have nothing to hide. I've never touched another woman or had even sexual contact with another woman since the day I met Jeffrey Epstein. I'm very happily married. I have been for 49 years. And I hope to continue to be married and love my wife forever. So I never had anything to hide. And the woman who accused me dropped all of her claims, all of her lawsuits, and ultimately admitted that she may have misidentified me, confused me with somebody else. So I have been, you know, completely, completely, you know, found innocent of anything. So I have nothing to hide. And therefore I'm willing to talk about. I've seen many of the Epstein files. I know who's in them, and I know there are many false accusations. For example, there's a woman whose name was Sarah Ransom, and she wrote 20 or 30, 40 emails to the New York Post to a reporter named Maureen Callahan and said she had in her possession videotapes of Bill Clinton, Hillary Clinton, Donald Trump, Richard Branson and others. Having sex with children. She said she sent copies of those videotapes to Russia for protection. Then when there was an investigation, it turned out the whole story was made up. Ultimately, she admitted she made up the whole story. So what worries me is that they often just release the accusations. Or for example, there's another woman named Maria Farmer who's been the star of cnn. She's been on cnn, she's been on the New York Times. People believe her and yet everybody knows she lied, made up stories about things she couldn't have seen or heard and is a rampant anti Semite, believes that there was no Holocaust, believes that the Jews killed the Germans. And when she's on cnn, they don't mention any of these things. Or if the files are released, there would just be the accusations by these two liars, perjurists, people who should be in jail, but they don't give the background. So when you get a half truth, sometimes a half truth is worse than a complete lie.

[Adam Carolla]

So what's your head on? I've heard both sides. One side says, what about the files? The other folks say, well, there's a lot of stuff in those files with victims and things of that nature. And we don't want to re victimize the victims. And anything that's pertinent in there you're aware of. And so there's no there there. But what is your take?

[Alan Dershowitz]

And also a lot of these victims are partial victims. They were victims and then they became victimizers. They made false accusations or they themselves served as pimps for young women and brought them to Jeffrey Epstein. So you know, it's a continuum. There are some purely innocent victims and they should be protected. But there are a lot of gray area people there. For example, this woman, Maria Farmer and the other woman, Sarah Ransom, they were in their mid-20s and they were just overt perjurers, criminals. And they don't have to be protected, but the real victims have to be protected. In fact, the fake victims like the two I mentioned hurt the real victims because their lies have been exposed. And so people say, oh my God, if these two lied, maybe others have lied. No, many others have told the truth, but some have lied. So I think everything ought to be released with very, very, very narrow exceptions for underage people who are really, really victims. But there are very few of those, I think.

[Adam Carolla]

So for the uninitiated who are constantly trying to wrap their mind around this, cuz it's a lot of, you know, Trump's on that list and then there's A lot of, you know, Clinton's on that list. Bill Clinton, if you were just to assign a number, like I said Trump, 0 would be the lowest and 10 would be a whole bunch of incriminating stuff on that list. And then I said, Bill Clinton, zero is nothing. Burger. And 10, obviously a bunch of stuff. I say, trump, what number would you assign to that?

[Alan Dershowitz]

Minus 3 in terms of criminality. I mean, he knew Epstein before anybody, anybody had any suspicions that Epstein did anything wrong that I've heard read about in the records on the Clinton thing. I actually have firsthand knowledge this is a name dropping story, but I was having dinner with Bill Clinton and Hillary Clinton while he was President of the United States at the home of Caroline Kennedy, who lives down the block from me. And before I defended Donald Trump, actually used to talk to me in her home. And so we were all there having dinner and the Secret Service comes over to President Clinton and says, phone call. And President walks away for 10 minutes, 15 minutes. We all thought it was about national security. Comes back to the table and says, alan, somebody wants to say hello to you. He hands me the phone. It was Jeffrey Epstein. So I have firsthand knowledge that President Clinton spoke to Jeffrey Epstein for 15 minutes. What did they talk about? I have no idea. What did he talk about with me? He asked me whether I was having a good time in the vineyard. So, you know, there are many people who are on his plane. I was on his plane, of course, I was his lawyer, and he would always send this plane for his lawyers. We had a special table on the plane. We would sit around and plan our legal strategy when we were negotiating the plea with the state attorney and with the U.S. attorney. And so, of course, I was on his plane probably a half a dozen times. So was Bill Clinton. I don't know about Trump, but none of this has anything to do with any, any criminality. And so I think the whole thing is largely a nothing burger. There may be a couple of names that haven't yet been made public and would be made public about people who went to his island when things were going on in the island that were improper. That's a possibility. But I don't think there's anybody famous, anybody who you know about, certainly nobody who's now serving in office or recently served in office who would become incriminated as a result of the release. That's why I'm so surprised they haven't released everything.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, what do you think? How do you think Epstein made all his money?

[Alan Dershowitz]

He was getting, as I understand it. 1% of the investments he made for Leslie Wexner. Leslie Wexner was. Was at the time worth between, I think, six and nine billion dollars. Just through the arithmetic. One percent of that every year, you know, buys you some pretty nice houses on nice islands in the Caribbean. So that's a possibility. I know he got a lot of money from a lot of wealthy people giving them tax advice and other economic advice. You know, I don't know what the advice is. He only gave me advice once, and he advised me to buy a certain mutual fund of stock, and it went to zero. So I have nothing but contempt for his ability. Fortunately, it was a small amount of money.

[Adam Carolla]

Did he. Where do you come down on the suicide versus Somebody took him out in prison.

[Alan Dershowitz]

I don't think we'll ever know for sure, but my inclination is toward suicide with the help of. Of prison guards. He couldn't have committed the suicide without them turning off the video, without them making sure they were away for a coffee at the time it happened. So I don't think it was just a suicide. And already we know that a couple of the people who were there at the time have been fired from their job. So that's my best guess. But it's only a guess. See, I didn't know him at the time. I had ended my contact. This is going to surprise people. But when I helped get the deal for him, where he was sentenced to 18 months in prison and had to register as a sex offender, everybody calls that a sweetheart deal. In retrospect, at the time, Epstein hated it, and he fired me, and he refused to pay my fee. And so my relationship with him essentially terminated when I failed to get him out of prison and failed to get him not to have to register. So I didn't really have much contact with him after that. I did have some phone calls because he would call me about the case, but nothing substantial.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, you know, I marvel at your mental acuity at the ripe old age of 86. I see you on the shows and referencing names and dates, and it's very impressive. And I think there's a certain amount of genetics involved with that, but I also think there's a certain amount of sort of calisthenics involved with it. Two, which is like, well, if you committed to doing 50 pushups every morning for the rest of your life, when would you stop being able to do 50 pushups? And I think there's a mental version of that. You're always riding. You're always on your feet. You're always jumping on a show. You're always engaged, and I'm guessing it's a muscle that you work out a lot. But is there anything I'm missing? Is there a supplement you're taking?

[Alan Dershowitz]

Yeah, I'm always attacked.

[Adam Carolla]

That's true.

[Alan Dershowitz]

When the pierogi guy wouldn't sell me the pierogi, he said to me, you know, nobody on Martha's Vineyard likes you. And of course, it was Martha's Vineyard. So when people gathered around there, I was being discriminated against, not being sold to pierogi. Almost everybody supported him. As I said, if it was a black person or a gay person, everybody would be on the other side. Now, you know, there is a difference between political views and racial and gender and other things. But, you know, you'd think that tolerant people would say to a vendor, come on, just because you don't agree with his politics, sell him the damn pierogi. You know, he's just here to have, you know, to buy from you. He's not here to convert you to his politics. So this, this, this, this, that. But. But I am constantly busy. I'm going to be 87 next month, and I feel a little older than I did. Tell you a funny story about my 75th birthday. So my 75th birthday, I was very popular in the vineyard. I had 125 people coming to my birthday party. One of the people who was invited was my next door neighbor, happened to be the president of the United States at the time, Barack Obama. We were separated only by hedges. And he said, yes, he'd love to come to my 75th birthday. He knew me, of course, as a professor at Harvard. And then I get a call from the White House saying, is it true that you invited Geraldo Rivera among the 125 people? I said, yeah, Geraldo's an old friend of mine. Of course I invited him. He's coming up from New York just for the party. And the White House said, well, the president has told me to tell you that if you disinvite. If you disinvite Geraldo, he'll come to the party, but he won't come to the party if Geraldo is there. So I said, would you tell the president I really appreciate it, but I really don't want him at my party. I want Geraldo at my party. So Geraldo came to my party, and the president of the United States was canceled.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow. Wonder what his Geraldo beef was.

[Alan Dershowitz]

He was the only Geraldo beef was that he was on Fox News.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, that was it.

[Alan Dershowitz]

That was it. He just wouldn't want to have anybody from Fox News. And it was off the record party. I mean, the invitation.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, and also, Geraldo is pretty progressive. He's not Sean Hannity. He may be on Fox, but he's oftentimes at the time or was on Fox sort of arguing progressive positions as a counterpoint to some of the more conservative positions. Tell me what your take is. I'll tell you mine. First on the Obamas, I rooted for the Obamas. I wanted the Obamas. I thought, good, finally, good healing good. I hope he's the best president ever. And as every piece of information that seems to come out about him and, or Michelle, and especially Michelle, I'm like, I don't think they like this country. I don't think she likes this country. I don't think they're good people. They ended up turning into race hustlers. And I thought it's so sad because he could have really used that moment to really heal things and really turn down the heat racially in this country. And instead he turned up the flame on all the races and hurt so many black people when he could have said, you know what, it's a pretty level playing field. I couldn't have been president if it wasn't now. No more excuses. Get to work, raise your kids and join in on the American dream. But he never did that and she never did it. And all they did was stoke the flames of racism and division. And now it's to the point where I do not like them. I think of them as bad people.

[Alan Dershowitz]

I don't like them either. I have to tell you that I like them very much. I had many social endeavors with him. He invited me to the White House over and over again, including to the Medal of Honor for Shimon Perez, a dear friend of mine who was the. The prime minister of Israel. But I don't like them as people. I remember Michelle Robinson when she was a student and she was very radical. Obama was not. I mean, he was known as a kind of middle of the road when he was at Harvard Law School. And I think during the beginning of his first term, he was a little bit more of that. But once he was reelected, you're absolutely right. He became his true self, came out. He's not a nice person. He's not a nice person. He's a smart person. He's very smart, but he's not a nice person.

[Adam Carolla]

And Michelle Obama just seems, yes, like radical to me and doesn't seem to be a fan of this country and seems to find racism around every corner. And I just, I really, I'm always disappointed that the people, whether it's Oprah, LeBron James or Michelle Obama, who have that platform and have the ear of the black community, I feel like there's so much good they could do with it, but they go right into the race hustle.

[Alan Dershowitz]

That's so easy. It's the easy way out. And you're right. I wish we had somebody who could explain that. The trajectory is all in favor of anti racism. We are not a racist country. We are a country that has some racists in it. Obviously, we have anti Semites, we have anti Catholics, we have bigots of every sort. But structurally and institutionally, we're an anti racist country. All the laws are against racism, even the effort to try to give privileges, including to wealthy and established and well educated black people, which has now been held unconstitutional. But nonetheless, the trajectory will always in favor of, of racial equality. But people won't acknowledge that because then it denies them the grievance that they live on. And you know, we live in a nation of Olympic competition grievances. Who's being mistreated more? And I think the American way is to pick yourself up and live the American dream. The American dream is, you know, so many of us have that. My grandparents came over from Poland without a nickel. Their children didn't have very much money. And now one of their grandchildren is a professor at Harvard. I remember having lunch once with Ruth Bader Ginsburg and she said, I want to ask you a riddle. What's the difference between a Jewish woman who worked as a bookkeeper in the garment district of New York and a Supreme Court justice? And the answer was one generation. And I said, let me give you a riddle. What's the difference between a woman who worked in the garment district as a bookkeeper and a Harvard law professor? And she said your mother worked in the garment district. Yeah. Turns out they worked in the same building.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow.

[Alan Dershowitz]

We don't know whether they knew each other, but they worked in the same building, not for the same company. But it was quite a remarkable coincidence. Can we talk a little bit about the Keith Ranieri case? It really bugs me that we have a case out there in which there may very well be a man in jail for the rest of his life based on a frame up and a cover up. So I'm hoping you can get to that for at least.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, yes, I'm not familiar with the case. Open phone. Look, if you're running a business and you Let calls slip through the cracks. You might as well just hand your wallet to the next guy every time you miss a ring. That's cash walking out the door. You need a phone system that actually works as hard as you do that keeps you in the loop day or night. That's why you got to get OpenPhone. OpenPhone is the number one business phone system that streamlines and scales your customers. Let me try that again. OpenPhone is the number one business phone system that streamlines and scales your customer communications. So whether you're a one person operation drowning in calls and text or you're a large team that needs better collaboration tools, OpenPhone is a no brainer. Right, Dawson?

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[Adam Carolla]

But is it Keith Ramire?

[Alan Dershowitz]

Keith Ranieri was the name of the guy and it's a fascinating case. I became involved in it a couple of years ago because it involved a guy who was convicted for having photographs of a 15 year old naked. Pretty serious stuff. And there are now seven FBI, former FBI agents and other experts who are prepared to testify that the photograph was doctored and that the metadata was doctored and that she was actually above the age of consent. But the somebody within the government changed the dates and created the fiction of a 15 year old from the reality of an 18 or 19 year old. And yet the judge refused to even have a hearing on the issue. And so it worries me greatly because, you know, I've defended what, 250 people and here I'm going to give you my big, big secret. Promise you won't tell anybody.

[Adam Carolla]

I promise.

[Alan Dershowitz]

Most of the clients have been guilty. And thank God for that. Would you want to live in a country where most people charged with crime were innocent? That's Russia, that's Iran, that's Cuba, that's, you know, other countries. But the United States, most people who are charged with crime are guilty, but not all of them. That's the key. And there have been frame ups and there have been manipulations of data. And in order to keep the statistics good that most people who are convicted of guilty, we have to make sure that when we have a serious charge like this one, we investigate it, we look into it. And what's happened in this case is they won't look into it. And so we're asking the administration to look into it. We're trying to seek a remedy. Just all we want is an opportunity to present these seven people under oath, subject to cross examination, and then let an objective decider, whether it be a judge or Congress or the president, whether or not the picture is authentic, the data is authentic, or whether or not it's a frame up on a cover up.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, for me, I'm always kind of looking at motivation. And so I get the 51 intelligent experts who said that the Steele dossier or the thing had all Hunter Biden's laptop had all the earmarks of Russian collusion. So they were motivated, they're motivated to have Trump not be the president. So that's motivation. And then there's a kind of another motivation, and that's a Mike Naifung, Duke lacrosse kind of motivation, which is why I'm running for office. And this would look pretty good if I got these guys put in jail. So that's another kind of motivation. What kind of motivation is this? Why does the government want to lie about this or Dr. Evidence?

[Alan Dershowitz]

Well, it's a great, great question. And it's a question about which I've written several books. The government believes this guy is guilty of other things. Having a cult. They believe he's guilty of other things, but they couldn't prove that. They could never get a jury to convict. And so what you often have is the government trying to frame a man they believe is guilty. He may very well be totally innocent. I can tell you this, there would never have been a conviction but for the tampered evidence. So sometimes the motivations are not bad motivations. The law enforcement authorities say this is a bad guy, he should be in jail. We can't get him on the real evidence. Let's manufacture some evidence and put him in jail. That's another possible motivation. I've seen that in several cases. I saw that in the Klaus von Bulow case where they tampered with evidence in order to convict somebody who the family believed was was guilty. And I've seen that in other cases as well. In the O.J. simpson case, we know that there was blood poured on a sock by police officers who honestly and understandably believed that O.J. simpson was guilty and that he'd get off because he had such good lawyers. And so they wanted to enhance the case. So that's a big issue. Planting evidence to convict people who the police believe are guilty but may not be guilty. And so we have to keep the system pure. And what's essential is transparency, so that if there is a serious allegation, it has to be investigated and it has to be subject to cross examination. As one great legal scholar said, cross examination is the greatest engine of truth. You know, it goes back to the Bible in the Book of Daniel, where cross examination resulted in the acquittal of an innocent person and the conviction of a guilty person. Those of us who were brought up with Perry Mason, you know, we reason I became a criminal lawyer was Perry Mason, because I believe not only can I get all the innocent people acquitted, but by doing so, I would get the guilty people convicted. Well, it's not quite the way it works in real life, but criminal lawyers can serve an important purpose in helping keep the system fair.

[Adam Carolla]

So on something like you always hear about Al Capone, they never really got him on the other stuff, but they put him away for tax fraud, which is a distant cousin of this kind of thing. I guess it's not exactly planting evidence, but it's going, we know this guy's up to a bunch of bad stuff, but we could only really get him on this one.

[Alan Dershowitz]

Yeah, but that's what they did to Donald Trump. The Democrats in New York said, we know he's no good, we don't want him to be president, so let's make up a crime. And they made up this crime of when he paid money to somebody to settle a lawsuit. They said he should have listed it as something other than a legal expense. And he ended up being convicted of a non crime by prosecutors who believes that he was getting away with other things that weren't criminal. So, you know, it doesn't only apply to the Al Capones of the world, it can apply politically as well to one's political enemies. And that's why it's so important that both sides pass the shoe on the other foot test. That is what they're doing. Would they accept it if it were directed against them instead of being directed against their enemies?

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, well, that's a tough pill to swallow for many, many people. Just like you're pierogi and everyone's cheering you on. And the Masterpiece Baker out of Denver, Colorado, they're all cheering on the prosecution that's going after him. So that's a difficult group. I think people like you, I think people like myself, conveniently, and they're sort of the Ben Shapiro types of the world, where you can kind of say, listen, I agree with this and I don't agree with that. And I'm not cheering for the players on my own team. But the left is unable to do that. The right, they both cheer for their own team, but the left will bend themselves into pretzels. They go. The next day, they get caught. You said you have Obama saying he shouldn't be able to use presidential immunity 10 minutes before he's gonna use presidential immunity. They do that thing where they go, hey, taking the fifth, you can plead the Fifth, but man means you're guilty of something. Ten minutes later, they all plead the fifth and no one says anything. So it comes back fast to get them now.

[Alan Dershowitz]

Oh, there's no question. And hypocrisy is the name of the game when it comes to both parties. But I think more today among the Democrats than the Republicans. What I worry about so much is what's happening to the Democratic Party. They are becoming radical left, anti American, some anti Semitic, some anti Christian. It's becoming really a leftist, anarchist party with the squad with people like Bernie Sanders, who may be one of the worst senators in American history, Elizabeth Warren, my former colleague, who has never seen anything wrong on the left and anything right on the right. I worry deeply about the Democratic Party and what if they were to regain control of the House and the Senate, what that would do to America. And that's why, although I'm not a Republican, I am a former Democrat, but I would call myself a former Democrat and a current anti Democrat. I don't like the Democratic Party. I can't join the Republican Party because my views on health care, immigration, abortion, a range of other issues are quite different than the Republican Party. But I can't oppose the Democratic Party, and that's what I plan to do in the year or so running up to the midterm elections. I don't want to see the Democrats regain control of the House or the Senate.

[Adam Carolla]

No, they used to be sort of middle of the road and a little bit inert, and now they seem sort of weaponized with bad ideas. And, you know, getting back to your book, you know, the answer to the occasional case of police brutality is not defund the police. And that's another one of those things. A lot of the stuff they have is just an extreme opposite of something that'll be effective. You know, if you have A problem with people shooting drugs at the park. You can't just supply them with clean needles and a place to shoot up. You're gonna get more of them. And defund the police is not gonna fix any of the problems that are caused by the police. And there's versions of fixing and training and repair the middle that you talk about that you can implement. But defund, well, that just means chaos.

[Alan Dershowitz]

You're absolutely right. Look, I make a policy. I never pass a policeman on the street without stopping and thanking him or her for their service. A country without a good police force is not a country. It's anarchy. And we must appreciate our police, we must appreciate our armed forces. We have to make sure that the police, there are individuals in every group, army, police officers, that will go further than they're supposed to and violate the law. And what we need is a process for bringing accountability for that. But defund the police. The people who will be hurt most are the people in the highest crime area and those who are immigrants, people of color, poorer people. And so the last people in the world who should be calling for defunding of police are Democrats who claim to speak for the underprivileged and the poor. Defund the police is the worst thing that could happen. That's why it's so many people now who traditionally vote Democrat are now who voted for Trump because they just didn't like what the Democrats were doing. And it wasn't helping their people. It was maybe helping the Democrats sleep better at night with virtue peddling, but it wasn't specifically. It reminds me of the countries now that want people to support a Palestinian state as a reward to Hamas for having murdered, raped and burned to death all these people. It's virtue signaling. There's nothing positive about recognizing a Palestinian state that doesn't even recognize Israel. Okay, if you say, all right, we'll recognize a Palestinian state if it makes peace with Israel, returns the hostages, okay, I can understand that. But these countries saying we're going to unilaterally, without asking anything of the Palestinians, give them a reward for what hamas did on October 7, it will just provoke much, much more terrorism.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, there just seems to be a sort of inverted logic with everything that's coming out of the far left. Whether it's men can get pregnant or defunding the police or abolish prisons, or let's get a two state solution. We'll get Hamas and Palestine and we'll give them their own. Every idea they have is destructive. It's going to lead to something worse. Whether it's an open border, whatever it is, it's abolish ice, defund the police, two state solution. It's all a shit show, and it's getting dangerous. It used to be that their ideas were sort of, hey, what about gay marriage? In which case I, as a heterosexual, would go, yeah, okay, me too. Fine. Sounds fine to me. And I don't know, do we need the ten commandments in front of the courthouse? I'd go, I don't know, that's fine. But these aren't dangerous ideas. Now they're getting into dangerous ideas.

[Alan Dershowitz]

By the way, I'm in favor of the five commandments in front of courthouses, only the last five. Thou shalt not kill, thou shalt not rob. That's okay. But when you start going, I am the Lord your God, have no other God before me. Do not take the name of. Of the Lord in vain. No, I'm not in favor of that. In courtrooms or courthouses, that's too religious. I think we do need separation of church and state, though. I think it's important that we let everybody exercise their freedom of religion in a way that gives them a sense that they're doing the right thing. And we have to also remember that many religions, as part of the religious obligation, is proselytization. So I've never objected when a Christian comes over to me and says, oh, you know, you should become Christian. You're going to burn in hell if you don't accept Jesus. Hey, you have the right to ask me to do that. I have the right to consider it. And as long as there's no compulsion. But compulsion can come in a lot of different ways. When I had my confrontation over the pierogi, it turns out the guy who wouldn't sell me the pierogi, I didn't know this was. I don't remember the term, but he was gender fluid or non binary perfect binary. So the policeman said, professor Dershowitz, you must address him as they and not he. And so I said, officer, I'm going to decide how to address him. In fact, I'm going to use the word they. But you, the policeman, you have no right to police my language. You have no role to play in what language I use. That's an utterly inappropriate role for a police officer to play. If you have an opinion, take off your uniform, we'll have a drink, and you can tell me as an individual what you think I should do. But when you're wearing a policeman's, officer, don't Tell me what language to use. And it's complicated. I remember I spoke at Yale a few years ago and there was. Do you remember the case of the man who became a woman who had stolen secrets from the United States.

[Adam Carolla]

Military?

[Alan Dershowitz]

Right, yeah, military, yeah, yeah, yeah. And so in the talk I said, he stole the secrets. And I got screams from the audience, he stole the secret, she stole the secret. I said, don't blame a woman for what a man did. When the stolen. It was stolen by a man. He then became a woman. They yelled from the audience, he's always been a woman. He's always been a woman. Look, that's an argument you can have. Have it with your grammar teacher, have it with your ethics teacher, but don't bring the police into this. I don't want to be told by government how I can call somebody or what is the right language to address people. That's gonna be a matter of choice.

[Adam Carolla]

So I guess not a big Zoran Mondami fan, I'm guessing. But can you tell me from someone who's been there and done that, and if you hang around long enough, you'll see the bad idea get recirculated and come out in a slightly different shape for a new generation. Almost like fashion, you know, bell bottom jeans will come out, then they'll go out of vogue and fashion for a number of years and then some point your 14 year old daughter will discover Bell Bottom Jeans in 2015, you know, and you're having to explain to her, that's what mama was wearing when I met her. Right. So these bad ideas, they cycle, they get new names. They used to call, you know, it was ecology, then became global warming and now it's climate change. You know, it's all the same stuff, it just gets re filtered through again. So all of his ideas are gonna be bad and are gonna bring Manhattan or sorry, gonna bring New York back to what we tried to get rid of in the 70s, what we were aware of, but these guys didn't experience it. And for some reason we have to repeat, history has to repeat itself over and over again. And maybe that's just a human experience, theme wars and everything else, but. But are they gonna have to get this guy in bottom out again and then call for something different, like the opposite of what he represents, to then fix it again. And then once it gets fixed, we'll get bored with that after a while and then we'll ruin it again.

[Alan Dershowitz]

Well, it looks that way. I don't live in New York City, I live in Florida. But I have an apartment that I spent some time in New York City. So, you know, I walked the streets. And there's a lot of support for Mondami, including among young Jews, Jewish voters. And, you know, I keep reminding people that when Hitler won in 1932, he didn't win because he was an anti Semite. He won despite that. He won because he had policies that many Germans supported, full employment, et cetera, et cetera, and they ignored his anti Semitism. Poll showed, however, with Mamdani, that a lot of the people who voted for him voted for him because of his views toward Jews and toward Israel. And so there's a lot of that, a lot of hatred that generates these voters in New York to vote for Mamdani. It looks like he's gonna win. The recent polls show that even if all three candidates who are now against him were to get together, Adams, Cuomo, and Sliwa, he would still get more than 50% of the vote, particularly among young people. And as you say, these are just label changes. Fifty years ago, he would have been called a communist for his views or an anarchist for his views. Today he calls himself a Democratic socialist. But I don't see very much Democratic about his socialism. I mean, he does want to, you know, take the means of production away from individuals. He wants to destroy the free market. He wants to make any. A lot of other restrictions on liberty. And I suspect we'll have to go through a cycle. I suspect he will get elected, will ruin New York. A lot of people will move to Florida, as I did, and. And ultimately we'll see a balance struck. And we'll see a phenomenal candidate, for example, like the police commissioner of New York, who has been doing a phenomenal job. Maybe in four years she'll get elected mayor of New York. We don't know. But, you know, politics move in cycles. So does human progress move in cycles. So I suspect we're seeing the beginning of a new cycle which will result in an extreme leftward movement. By the way, I think Mondame's election in New York will cost the Republicans, will cost the Democrats the midterm elections and the general elections. Next time, more the general elections. Because I think people will see the Democrats for what they are today. And that is a hard, hard, hard left party that doesn't reflect mainstream American voters. So what is bad for New York may ultimately be good for the country.

[Adam Carolla]

Jessica Tisch, I think you're speaking of Jesse is phenomenal.

[Alan Dershowitz]

She was a student of mine and a brilliant, brilliant student and she worked her way up. You know, she comes from a very, very wealthy family, but she served as, you know, sanitation commissioner of New York. She was a police officer. I mean, she is. You can have the American dream economically in reverse. Here you have a wealthy woman who would never have to spend a day of her life making a nickel. And so she goes and works in the public interest and becomes sanitation commissioner. She's in charge of picking up garbage in New York. And I have just tremendous respect for Jessica Tish, and I think she'll go on to great. To great things. And she's a centrist, and she is, I hope, the future of the Democratic Party. Not aoc But I have to tell you, if Jessica Tisch ran against AOC today in New York, two attractive, brilliant, I mean, smart women, I don't know who would win. I know who should win, but I don't know who would win.

[Adam Carolla]

Last question for you.

[Alan Dershowitz]

Sure.

[Adam Carolla]

You know, the. The antisemitism in this country in 2025, who could have ever predicted this in all of this? It's so much more. The thing about racial issues, let's just say historically in this country, it's sort of discrimination in general, religion and beyond. It sort of was like infant mortality. Like, you go, one in every five women would die during childbirth. You know, 150 years ago in this country. And even in the 50s, one out of every 150 would die. But the graph only goes one way, which is less mothers dying during childbirth and less infants dying. And that's kind of how racism sort of worked, because people have to go back. They go, you know, 1957, a black man couldn't marry a white woman in Alabama. They have to keep going way back to find stuff. All of a sudden, it's spiking.

[Alan Dershowitz]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Which is interesting.

[Alan Dershowitz]

It's the only bigotry that is moving in the wrong direction. Right attitudes, anti Catholic attitudes, anti black attitudes are all going in the right trajectory, but antisemitism is going in the wrong direction. And there are those who say, look, anti Semitism has been with us for 3,000 years. It only disappeared after the Holocaust for a short period of time because of the guilt of 6 million people being killed. But now it's back. In my book Chutzpah, which I wrote in 1991, we're talking 34 years ago. I predicted this. How did I predict it? I looked at universities. I was then a professor at Harvard. I was traveling all over the world, speaking at universities. I saw the trend in 1991 that professors and students were beginning to engage in that kind of bigotry. I didn't think it would emerge full force as it did. And to me, the best proof of it is that the greatest amount of anti Semitism emerged right after October 7th. Israel hadn't even sent a single soldier into Gaza. They had just lost so many people to rapes and murders and everything. And suddenly 13 groups at Harvard, including Amnesty International, is blaming it all on Israel, blaming it on the Jews. And so, you know, I do think it's a very serious problem for America, and I devote a lot of my time to trying to fight it. But I get a lot of resistance, even on Martha's Vineyard and even from young Jews. They say, don't make a mess. Don't fuss about it. We'll deal with the problem. Be silent. Be quiet. But I won't be. I won't be. I'm always gonna speak out, and it's not gonna make me friends. And thankfully, I have a great family, and I love hanging out on the Vineyard, even if I have to do it with just my family and my family. But I'm never going to be deterred or cowed or threatened by the bigotry and intolerance of Martha's Vineyard to give up my vacation home here.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, I look forward to your cable show, Alan Dershowitz's Pierogi hoedown, where we take some of the greatest pierogi makers throughout the land and put them together, sampled by Alan Dershowitz, to declare a pierogi king in the United States.

[Guest/Caller]

It's gonna be huge, but I won't.

[Alan Dershowitz]

Accept what they say to me at the farmer's market, to quote the show, Seinfeld with the Nazi fender, who says, you know, no. No thing.

[Adam Carolla]

No soup for you.

[Alan Dershowitz]

No soup for you. They say no pierogi for you. I will have my pierogi. Maybe you won't make it, but I will will have my pierogi.

[Adam Carolla]

You'll have to pry it from his cold, dead hands. Good to see you, Alan.

[Alan Dershowitz]

Thanks. What. What a great show you have, and what a pleasure for me to be on it. Thank you.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, anytime, my friend. Sure.

[Alan Dershowitz]

Thank you. Thank you.

[Adam Carolla]

Thrive market. Well, you know, it's more stressful than Traffic on the 405. I'll be on that in a few minutes. What could be realizing you've got zero lunch supplies in the house at 7am you got to get food. That's why I load up during Thrive market's back to school sale. These guys are Great. Thrive's a lifesaver for me and my family. Kids are a little older now. They can make their own sandwiches, but they need the supplies. I don't have the time or frankly, the patience to sift through every label to hit all three grocery stores it takes to make the right sandwich. Thrive lets me shop my diet, my values, even whatever phase my kids are into this week. And God knows it's always something different. Yeah, these guys are great. You get the good stuff. You get the stuff that's healthy. And here's the deal. If your schedule's nuts and you want clean, quality snacks for the kids, this is the move. It's Thrive. Right, Dawson?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Stock up smart this summer with Thrive Market. Go to thrivemarket.comacs to get 30% off your first order plus a free $60 gift just for signing up. That's thrivemarket.comacs thrivemarket.comacs this summer, Pluto TV.

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[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Here's a beat from Beat it out with Jay Moore and Adam Carolla.

[Adam Carolla]

You don't know what we did.

[Alan Dershowitz]

We used to box on the roof of my house.

[Adam Carolla]

And you lost.

[Alan Dershowitz]

You lost by getting knocked out and.

[Adam Carolla]

Knocked off the roof of the house.

[Alan Dershowitz]

But we put our bikes down there to cushion the fall.

[Adam Carolla]

We were idiots.

[Alan Dershowitz]

Public school in New Jersey, you know, I thought I could skateboard to Florida because it was downhill.

[Adam Carolla]

And I kind of still think that, like, if you look at a map, it ain't uphill.

[Alan Dershowitz]

Yeah, we thought you got pregnant by peeing in each other's butts until, like, eighth grade.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Beat it out with Adam Carolla and Jay Moore. Subscribe to the [e-mail] substack let's get back to the Adam Corolla show.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, Jay's a funny dude and he's, you know, he's doing it for the love of the game now because he's set financially, if you guys read those articles. But all right, Mayhem's in here. Not set financially. No, he's here. Give me money for the cash. So my vlog with Rick Caruso, potential mayor of Cal, mayor of Los Angeles, maybe governor now. Yeah, that'll be out and is out, I should say, say on our YouTube Carolla.com you go to AdamCorolla.com or is it just Corolla.com? either way, you'll find YouTube anyway, where all the fire videos are.

[Alan Dershowitz]

So.

[Adam Carolla]

Rick, there's a couple things that were in the video that were kind of interesting, which is it's indicative of how our city works, which is he wants to rebuild the rec center across the street. The Palisades rec center across the street from the village. Palisades Village, which is what he kept intact. Everything around the rec center basically burned, but somehow the gymnasium didn't burn. It's just made like the third little piggy's house. It's all brick and it didn't burn. But they want to demo it and make a real serious gym in there, which is great, raising money and all that kind of stuff. Pet project. But they did rebuild the little playground right next to the rec center, literally 12ft away. And Rick said to me, he goes, I want to show you something that's kind of funny. And he said, they rebuilt the playground, but we got to tear down the playground because we're tearing down the building that's right next door to the thing. So I don't know why you guys spent a million dollars rebuilding this thing. You still got a fence around it. And then we're going to come in and tear this whole place apart. So the million dollars that you just put into rebuilding this thing, it has a fence around it. No one can use it. But we got to come tear that down. But they picked a theme for the playground, and that'll a motif, and that'll be enough. You can hit play. Oh, Adam, come here. Let's just walk around this way just for fun, because I think this is just. This goes to show you how tone deaf. Oh, the. Oh, yeah. Well, can we film that? Of course you can. Oh, okay.

[Guest/Caller]

There you go.

[Adam Carolla]

So they rebuilt this lickety split for the kids, and they put a giant fire truck there. Well, and multiple. And an ambulance. All right, you can pause it for a second. You do not.

[Guest/Caller]

What?

[Adam Carolla]

Wow.

[Guest/Caller]

Like a slap in the face to the community. Hey, here's a fire truck that doesn't pour any water.

[Adam Carolla]

Hey, we've opened a memorial park next to the Oklahoma Federal building. And we have a giant Ryder truck the kids can play in. It's like, what. Here's what I'm gonna say. You can open a park with no emergency vehicles in it at all. You can. You could have frogs, like Mr. Frog and a bakery truck, or you could have a UPS truck. There are a lot of different trucks. You know, you don't need. I grew up. I played in parks all the time. I never encountered a fake fire truck in the park, and I never said, when I was seven, hey, where's my fire truck, bitch? I can't have a good time here. So just the notion that they thought it was a good idea, you know what I mean?

[Guest/Caller]

And then they just put a fence.

[Adam Carolla]

Around the damn thing.

[Guest/Caller]

Kids can't even play in it anyway. And they're gonna bulldoze the whole thing. Who the hell planned this out?

[Adam Carolla]

So they got upset, and a lot of the parents don't like the optics because the kids who play at this park all have houses less than a block away that burn down to the ground. So the fire truck's the last thing they want to see. But I'll play out the video for you.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

It has definitely caused a lot of.

[Adam Carolla]

Consternation in the community. Yeah, I could see that.

[Guest/Caller]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

As your family's been traumatized.

[Adam Carolla]

So I think the city now has.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Realized that, and they're trying to figure.

[Adam Carolla]

Out how to change it out. Yeah, yeah, it's. It is a little. I think they call it tone Death is what. But also the thing I'm always interested in life about is it's not one guy who went rogue and said, I'm going to put a fire truck here. It had to go through a committee. It had to pass through multiple levels. People had to stamp it. Like, I felt that way when UPS came up with the slogan, what can brown do for you? If somebody shows, raised their hand and went, I don't think we should be saying this, but how many people had to sign off before they launched the campaign? A lot of people said, hey, this is a good idea.

[Guest/Caller]

Oh, man.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. In the bit, I told him that. The long version of this, I told them that they took the sand pit was modeled after an empty aqueduct just to really push the fire theme. So then I thought something was interesting, and we walked across the street and we talked to Caruso and we looked at his place. But there was a thing that was eerie. There were a lot of notes in windows that said, close today for fire, whatever. And you realize all those notes are a year, six, seven months old now. And then you also see a lot of weird stuff like Christmas trees and stuff, because people still had their Christmas trees up when the fire hit. Then I was looking at it, and there's a real. There. There's a real estate place in the compound, and I realized no one's been back. So all the houses that are for sale are Houses that were for sale before the fire. Yeah. And they're all in the community, but you gotta back it up and stop it for a second. So I can see the price of this stuff because I can't really make it out. Or maybe you can read it Andrew or Dawson, because I can't really see it.

[Guest/Caller]

Yeah. This is 620 North Marquette. So it's in the market for 3.2 million.

[Adam Carolla]

3.2. What's the size of it?

[Guest/Caller]

It is a 19,000 square foot lot. They don't mention the size of it. So I think this was a lot that they were gonna level the house on.

[Alan Dershowitz]

That.

[Guest/Caller]

They're on the photo. But the house got leveled by the fire.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, oh, oh, oh. That's why I was confused. So it had a house, it's got a big lot, and they're just gonna demo the house. But the house got demoed, so it's basically the lot is 3.2. All right. Weird one to start with, but what's the next. Not the one I would have chose to start with, but what's the next one?

[Guest/Caller]

See back circle?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Guest/Caller]

This is 16 million or 70,000amonth.

[Adam Carolla]

16 million or 70,000aMonth.

[Guest/Caller]

Excuse me. Rounding up 17 million. That's six beds, nine baths, and 9,000 square feet.

[Adam Carolla]

9,000 square foot at 17 million. And so they're getting near 2,000 bucks a square foot. And is that thing. That thing's gone to the ground.

[Guest/Caller]

That's gone. That's right by Temescal Canyon.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, so we're 0 for 2. Because it's weird when you go look at the realtor, the realtor just has the stuff in the window. And then they fled and they never came back, and they never updated anything. Then we found another one that is. How much is that one for?

[Guest/Caller]

25 grand a month.

[Alan Dershowitz]

Yeah.

[Guest/Caller]

This is just a renter. Four beds in an office, four baths, 3,400 square feet.

[Adam Carolla]

Mm.

[Guest/Caller]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. We didn't need the rental on there, but. All right. That's dirt, too. Yeah, yeah. None of it. Nothing that was in the window was apocalypse zone. Yeah, Saved. Was saved.

[Guest/Caller]

There were five houses, technically, in the Palisades. One was in, like, the Palisades adjacent neighborhood that got saved. But everything right near Temescal and Chautauqua is gone.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. So that's it. I have no. I have no idea what the rebuild is. I. I was. I was thinking about how. How much work would you have if you were heavy equipment operator these days? Like, how much could you work? So also, I Know I'm a little broken recordy, but find every shitty kid and start teaching them a trade. Just go grab them and teach them a trade, everybody. I don't get it. Why wouldn't you? Why don't you want these people in society contributing with dignity and pride and having a trade knowing something? It's not beneath them. Work isn't beneath them. I'm so tired of this thing all times. You gotta go to college, son. No, you don't have to go to college. These guys are operating equipment and making high dollar amounts doing all this stuff. And we're gonna need them for a long time, as best I can tell. All right, let's see. Here's an interesting. Here's a conundrum for you ready, Mahan?

[Guest/Caller]

I'm always ready.

[Adam Carolla]

And you got to, Andrew, look for this. But you guys should be able to picture it. I should be able to draw a picture, but the dumpster truck with the rollaway dumpster. And then there's the gravel truck and. All right, so if you drive around, you'll see when they're like sweeping the lane in the freeway. Yeah, they got the caltrans truck. The caltrans truck has this arm. It's pretty wily coyote. It comes down in the back and it's got a big shock absorbent. It's like a wall at a nascar track. You hit it and it gives. So. So if I'm trotting along at 15 miles an hour, my sweeper, caltrans, whatever, and you're texting and going 65, and you hit me from the rear. This is going to absorb all the shock.

[Guest/Caller]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

You seen those out there?

[Guest/Caller]

Yeah, I believe I've seen this.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, It's a weird contraption. It's got to cost a lot of money, but it's a weird thing. But then, have you seen the rollaway dumpster truck?

[Guest/Caller]

Well, you're talking about where you can. They can release it from the back.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Guest/Caller]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

I've seen this machinery, the rollaway dumpster truck.

[Guest/Caller]

Drop it right there on the floor.

[Adam Carolla]

They slide it down. But if you have a picture of it from behind, you will notice that the rollaway dumpster truck has two rails. Yeah, the rails are up, cut up at a 90. So when it tilts down and gets to the ground, it's flush.

[Guest/Caller]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

And they protrude about four feet from the back. And they're about windshield height.

[Guest/Caller]

Oh, yeah. Some final destination right there.

[Adam Carolla]

One for the driver, one for the passenger. And they hang out past the back.

[Guest/Caller]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Of the car. So if you're driving behind that guy and the texting guy who was going to hit the caltrans guy decides to hit you instead of. You're going ahead and you're getting two prongs. Do not show me any pictures of this. In the process of dumping it.

[Guest/Caller]

Never found one of those during one of her episodes.

[Adam Carolla]

There are two steel prongs which would envelop, impale. You would go right through Fort Knox. These two things, they're about 42 inches off the ground. Yeah, well, should be able to find that. But. But why is that allowed is what I'm saying.

[Guest/Caller]

Yeah. Because they have a little red flag hanging out.

[Adam Carolla]

There's no red flag. There's just two.

[Guest/Caller]

I know. Two spikes.

[Adam Carolla]

You gotta find a picture of one.

[Guest/Caller]

Yeah. Nobody would ever think to take a picture of this danger to the community.

[Adam Carolla]

Ah, you wouldn't. But I would. Someone's. Now you gotta get me my phone then. Because I took a picture. I took a picture on the way in. I'm always just curious why we came.

[Guest/Caller]

Fixated on those tines when you. When you.

[Adam Carolla]

There's two things I'm fixated on. I'm fixated on the two pickle fork.

[Guest/Caller]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Again, it's made of squared, thick wall steel.

[Guest/Caller]

Like bar rebar. Yeah, it's like made of. No, no, no, not rebar.

[Adam Carolla]

Squared steel that is about 6 inches tall. And it has to hold the weight of a fully laden dumpster when it pulls it back on to go to.

[Guest/Caller]

So you have no problem going through.

[Adam Carolla]

Your rib cage and it. Yeah. Do not show me pictures of the thing dropping the thing off. Don't show me those pictures.

[Guest/Caller]

Don't show those pictures. We want to see the naked tines, bro.

[Adam Carolla]

You just gotta show me a picture of it up when it's in the process of doing it. That's not the right picture. Now, I have it. I have it. My phone. And I can provide it. But don't. And by the way, the one you showed has a rollaway slot.

[Guest/Caller]

Yeah. Yeah. We're looking for the spikies, bro. The ends are both pointy.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, we'll find it. So those things are made to withstand just about anything. It's ninetied up.

[Guest/Caller]

Yep.

[Adam Carolla]

Or 45 up. And it's about 8 inches deep, and it's about 3 inches wide. And it's passenger, driver, and anyone who got t bone. It's. It's literally the top of a Mini Cooper's hood. Like the bottom of the windshield slicing in a Dyson. Not Sure. Why that's okay. In a rule of law, all we have is laws. All we have safety this and safety that. Those car, those trucks are all over the road. And the other one that's all over the road is the gravel truck that has the triangulated piece of steel that comes out from the back about three feet. That'll just fucking Vlad the Impaler.

[Guest/Caller]

I have, you know, a similar feeling all the time. Like, I don't know if you ever got this, but when I see one of those trucks that you can, you know that a truck used to transport other autos. And that ramp is down.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, yeah.

[Guest/Caller]

And he's doing 45 and I'm doing 70.

[Adam Carolla]

You wanted to go full Dukes.

[Guest/Caller]

A hazard stunt jump, baby.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Guest/Caller]

Getting a five star rating up. I'm going to fly up over that, over the freeway, over the freeway overpass and land, crash down Evel Knievel style right in there and walk out to the thumbs up on the stretcher.

[Adam Carolla]

I have that impulse every time I drive from here up the grapevine. When I go to the racetrack, you're driving through the desert and they always have the overpass in the middle of the desert and you're driving under it. But to the right, it's a big dirt ramp.

[Guest/Caller]

I know that.

[Adam Carolla]

All I want to do is hit it.

[Guest/Caller]

Me too.

[Adam Carolla]

Like I want to get in a Raptor.

[Guest/Caller]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

And just yell, hang on, Starsky. And have whoever's riding shotgun go, what the fuck?

[Guest/Caller]

I will grow my mustache out for that, bro. I'll be hutch if you want me to.

[Adam Carolla]

You be hunch care. Because I just. It's like a perfect ramp.

[Guest/Caller]

I know the exact one you're talking about.

[Adam Carolla]

The other one that I want to hit. I don't know, Dawson. Maybe grab my phone. I think I said there's a Tesla.

[Guest/Caller]

Hill or something like that over here in LA that all the kids go out today to just go and stunt jump that thing.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, oh. Where they borrow the cars and launch themselves.

[Guest/Caller]

Yes. I'm telling Pilgrimage, bro. We might have to do this.

[Adam Carolla]

I'll tell you the other one is that's. That's nipping at my heels. Well, I mean, okay, you've seen the picture of me jumping my BMX bikes. You know I like air, bro.

[Guest/Caller]

I know you like. Yeah, five foot of air. All right.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. So I. And when I was a kid, we had a place called the Drop Off. It was where the LA river went. The street was up higher and you just drop. You just. I was always looking for Ramps, like places to launch myself. All the way up and down pch. Now all the way up and down PCH is. All the houses are gone along the ocean. The only thing that's left is their driveway, which slants up and it just looks like a takeoff ramps, like a mini bike. And then there's nothing but ocean. And I'm like, God damn. Fired up. Elsinore 250 came down the street. Two stroke up on the pipe, turned in real quick, just right into the fucking ocean.

[Guest/Caller]

Just pin the throttle.

[Adam Carolla]

I just sit and stare at it and, like, fantasize. And also I go, listen, if I were 14, I know I'd be on a moped or an XR75 and I'd be launching myself at that. I know, man, I know. Right? Right into the ocean.

[Guest/Caller]

Well, there's still time for you to make terrible decisions. You're friends with mayhem.

[Adam Carolla]

I agree. All right. All right, let's see.

[Guest/Caller]

I took a picture getting them tines in there.

[Adam Carolla]

Huh? I'm looking for a picture of this thing. I took it when I was driving the other day. Cause it was driving me.

[Guest/Caller]

Driving me nuts. You're like, one hand on the wheel, leaned over, taking a photo for the podcast.

[Adam Carolla]

I almost impaled myself taking pictures of things that would impale me.

[Guest/Caller]

Okay.

[Adam Carolla]

All right. This is a good.

[Guest/Caller]

I appreciate your dedication to the craft.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, Here, I'm sending it to you, Andrew. You're gonna see this, I think.

[Guest/Caller]

Yo, man, I'm terrified of those times, actually, now that I think about it.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. For some reason, whenever I send stuff to Andrew, it does a weird. Tell me if you got it or not. I don't know how to work my phone.

[Alan Dershowitz]

Got it.

[Guest/Caller]

Hang tight. Share them with the computer.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, now, does this look familiar to you, Andrew? Yeah. All right.

[Guest/Caller]

No, I've never seen these before.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes, you have. Because you travel and you drive and they're everywhere all the time. But you haven't noticed them, but you've seen them. I always explain to people, you've seen it. They didn't register with you. But first off, you shouldn't. It should be legal to have shit that sticks out further than your bumper that can kill you, right?

[Guest/Caller]

Yeah. Yeah, I thought so. I always think it's funny when they hang that little red flag off something that could violently impale you. No problem, you know, oh, here's the little flag. And it's like twisting in the wind, inches away from you doing 70.

[Adam Carolla]

I get it. If you got a bunch of baseboard from Home Depot. And the last three feet of sticking out the window of the suv, and you flag it. But the thing that would kill the first thing that would enter you would be the flag.

[Guest/Caller]

Exactly right.

[Adam Carolla]

But this shit doesn't even have a reflector. No one got a can of orange spray paint out. It was nothing. It's just dark and rusty and sticks out. Like if you were. If you're competing in BattleBots.

[Guest/Caller]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

You would put this on your box.

[Guest/Caller]

You want that on the front destroyer.

[Adam Carolla]

To destroy the other box. Now, I have no idea why I'm looking on the left lane, and I got the Caltrans truck with the giant crush zone sandbag wall hanging off the back of that thing. And I go, that sounds safe. And then I look over this, I go, well, this sounds like the opposite of safe. But they're both on the same freeway, going down the highways in the byways.

[Guest/Caller]

Throw an Oscar Mayer wienermobile in there just for fun.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, so there's. There it is. And they're perfect height just to go right through your fucking windshield.

[Guest/Caller]

And one would kill you.

[Adam Carolla]

And also, here's all it would take. It would take you paying attention, and some dude behind you in a minivan who was on a lot of prescription meds had a bad day, texting, giving you the rear ending you, and just driving this thing right through your trachea.

[Guest/Caller]

Yeah. No rules scenario, that's for sure.

[Adam Carolla]

Zero rules. And don't get me wrong, I like dumpsters. First dumpster I ever filled. We're up in the hills of Silver Lake, Dr. Fagenbaum's house, and we filled this shit with so much dirt, you weren't supposed to put dirt in it, but we filled it with dirt. And when the truck came to pick it up, back down, was backing down the hill, hooked up the cable, started trying to pull the thing up. The front wheels of the truck went to the air. The truck wheelie, full size mother trucker up there. And I remember, you know, at the time, like, all right. I mean, that's fun to watch when you're not really getting paid. So I'll enjoy this truck. All right, so there's that, and then there's the gravel truck, which has a triangulated pad thing that comes out about three feet. That's the other thing that would kill you. Same height for some reason. We don't have problems.

[Guest/Caller]

They got grandfathered in like that. Yeah, it doesn't matter.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, we have weird stuff that we get really obsessed with, like helmets and kids and stuff like that. Like we get really over the top with safety. And then there's lots, Lots of like, it's safety, safety, safety. And then we also have a bunch of crazy drug addicts with machetes sort of living in the street, you know, and so are we that. What part of safety are we really into? We have a tunnel. There's a clip of something. It's a second street tunnel. We can. We. This city is so fucked up. We can have nothing nice. You know, like, we have a bridge.

[Guest/Caller]

They stole the copper rock.

[Adam Carolla]

The bridge doesn't have lights on it because they stole all the copper. And there's nothing we can do about it. And we're not going to replace the copper. So no light on the bridge. And then we have a tunnel that we just repainted and they painted this tunnel, and the following day it was completely tagged up again because we just can't have any. We can't have anything nice. And not only that, but the guy. They've weaponized the spray cans now where the guy's spraying this thing out of like a pressurized Hudson sprayer and the thing's going 18ft up the wall. First off, I don't know. Should we just start running these guys over? Can we stop calling them graffiti artists? Yeah, let's just.

[Guest/Caller]

There's some art in there. But that's a tag.

[Adam Carolla]

Call them criminals and let's just fucking do something. There's nothing we can can do. We literally. You can see how fresh the paint is. They just painted the tunnel. Here's what I'm saying. Mayhem.

[Guest/Caller]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

I do not know that we'll ever have enough police to prevent guys converging on tunnels and tagging them moments after the paint dries, after we repainted the place, or pulling all the copper wiring out of a bridge, the lighting, or stopping street takeovers. We don't have enough police. And if Trump sends over the National Guard, we will reject the National Guard. Karen is very happy that these guys are leaving now. So we're never gonna have enough law enforcement to prevent this. But you may say, well, what about societies where they don't have this? They have tons and tons of cops. No, they have intact families who raise their kids the right way. And then those kids don't go out and tag everything or do the street takeovers or pull the wire out of.

[Guest/Caller]

It's like the secret to society is having a stable society.

[Adam Carolla]

Why don't we start working on that problem versus more cops or more blame or more rules? Yes. We do not have. We built A brand new bridge cost millions and millions of dollars and there's no lights on it because all the copper wiring got pulled out. Listen, at least people are earning it now. Stealing catalytic converters, pulling out copper wiring.

[Guest/Caller]

Tough work. At the end of the day, at.

[Adam Carolla]

Least get your fucking hands dirty. All right, you can go to AdamKroll.com for all the live shows you like and you can enjoy the fire vlogs. I don't know, binge, watch them. They're all up there. Until next time, I want to thank Alan Dershowitz for his candor and mayhem as well. Until next time, Sam Karla saying mahalo.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Leave us a voicemail at 888-634-1744 and get tickets to see Adam Carolla at Madam Corolla.com.

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[Guest/Caller]

This.

[Commercial Voiceover]

Summer Pluto TV is exploding with thousands of free movies. Summer of cinema is here. Feel the explosive action all all summer long with movies like Gladiator, Mission Impossible, Beverly Hills Cop, Good Burger and Dark of the Moon. Bring the action with you and stream for free from all your favorite devices. Pluto TV Stream now pay never.