Alec Baldwin + Gina and Bryan (Carolla Classics)

Summary

The Adam Carolla Show – Alec Baldwin + Gina and Bryan (Carolla Classics)

Date: March 14, 2026
Guests: Alec Baldwin, Kenan Thompson, Justin Long
Hosts: Adam Carolla, Gina Grad, Bryan ("Bald Bryan") Bishop

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Episode Overview

This Carolla Classics episode is a lively mix of comedy, entertainment industry insight, and social commentary, interspersed with a backdrop of the 2016 election night. The episode features standout backstage interviews with Alec Baldwin, Kenan Thompson, and Justin Long, blended with Adam's unfiltered takes on showbiz, American culture, and the absurdities of daily life. The crew—Adam, Gina, and Bryan—infuse their usual banter as they track election results and riff on everything from SNL to airplane food and systemic racism.

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Key Segments & Highlights

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1. Kenan Thompson: SNL, Comedy Journeys, and Ensemble Chemistry

[03:19–19:20]

Main Points

• Kenan reflects on his 14+ years at SNL, starting as the youngest and now its longest-tenured cast member.
• SNL's challenges and evolution—from breakout stars to true ensemble format.
• Early career: From Atlanta, Nickelodeon, and The Mighty Ducks 2 to adapting for SNL.
• The path to SNL: Repeated rejections ("too young to face"), persistence, and finally breaking in after Tracy Morgan's departure.
• Weekly SNL grind: "It's pretty busy. Six-day prep weeks, show on Saturday—every day is encumbered." [09:47, Kenan]
• Love for "Black Jeopardy" and appreciation of the writing team ("I try to contribute my style. I like to play the maestro..." [10:39, Kenan]).
• On career plans: Wants to stay at SNL but open to sitcoms and producing projects (e.g., Buccaneer Galaxy).
• Discusses the typical SNL cast cycles, the show’s ensemble strength, and how recurring hit characters contrast with team-driven comedy.

Notable Quotes

"I wish I could do SNL forever. I mean, the plan is the typical one: get your own show or movies, but nothing beats a sitcom that works.”
— Kenan Thompson [11:22]

“It was a lot of riding the bench… I got lucky because early on I was willing to do ladies. Star Jones, Whoopi, that put me into the game early."
— Kenan Thompson [04:41]

"It’s a more nutritious meal to see all the food groups represented, rather than, let's just shove the dessert out front..."
— Adam Carolla [15:43]

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2. Justin Long: The Actor’s Grind and Finding Meaning

[19:34–28:11]

Main Points

• Justin talks about his low-key, “unlikely” rise, with family roots in acting.
• Perceptions of acting as journeyman work—less about fame, more about steady employment.
• Breakout moments: "Galaxy Quest," Apple’s “I’m a Mac” ads, and how visibility doesn’t always mean 'real' acting.
• Drawn to theater: appreciation for the process (San Diego “Death Valley of theater”), plays at Williamstown Festival, and why he cherishes stage work as opposed to commercial spots.
• The value of time and choosing projects with intention as he ages.

Notable Quotes

"I guess I'd rather be in San Diego acting than in a Super Bowl commercial. …At this point in my life, time becomes precious."
— Justin Long [25:42]

“Tim Busfield used to say about acting: we’re carnies, you go where the tents are.”
— Justin Long [21:20]

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3. Alec Baldwin: The Drive, Reinvention, and Reputation

[30:24–48:43]

Main Points

• Baldwin's schedule and ‘vaudevillian’ work ethic (“You don’t like blank boxes on the calendar”—Seinfeld on Baldwin [30:58]).
• Priorities have shifted: less money-chasing, more family time, creative balance with home life.
• Transition from "workaholic" days (30 Rock, heavy charity work) to family-focused projects and home-based work (e.g., Match Game, podcasts).
• Navigating Hollywood as a multi-talent; the challenge (and curse) of being good at too many things.
• Aging and self-acceptance: discussing how life, perspective, and purpose transform as one gets older.
• Reputation and controversy (especially slurs and tabloid moments): Baldwin addresses the impact of misreporting, regret, and the digital permanence of mistakes.
• The climate of hypersensitivity (“golden age of racism”), and importance of intent versus perception.
• Politics and legacy: No political ambitions; the central role of family and personal evolution.

Notable Quotes

“For me, everything is about staying home. The movie offers come, but it takes a lot to get me out of bed these days…”
— Alec Baldwin [34:37]

“If I won the lottery tomorrow, I’d never work again. I’d just stay home with my kids.”
— Alec Baldwin [38:45]

“You stick to that one thing... When you want to see Leo in something, you go buy a ticket. For me, I got involved in different causes—writing this book, doing the podcast... That’s what I’m into now: having a family.”
— Alec Baldwin [37:17]

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4. Live Election Night & Real Talk with Gina and Bryan

[49:14–End]

Main Points

• Real-time election updates (2016)—with signature irreverence and skepticism.
• Adam’s perspective: Politicians will not "save you"—you must take responsibility for your own trajectory. (“If your own family won't do anything for you, who will?” [70:59])
• Systemic racism, female empowerment, and minority presidents: nuanced debates about representation, victimhood, and real change.
• Humor-infused takes on dietary taxes, airline food disasters, and government overreach ("their problem is they shoot for the stars and end up shooting themselves in the scrotum"—re: airline cuisine [56:01]).
• The "Bradley effect" and hidden voter sentiment (Trump’s surprise election performance).
• Call-ins cover the effect of tax policy on business, California’s economic exodus, and the hollow rhetoric of “fair share” taxation.

Notable Quotes

“My mindset was: If your own family won’t do anything for you, then who’s going to do something for you? …So I’m just gonna have to go out and make my own thing.”
— Adam Carolla [71:02]

“All the social stuff—that ‘we’re gonna give women a fighting chance’—that’s platitudes. No one will do anything for your group.”
— Adam Carolla [63:20]

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5. Notable Moments & Comic Relief

• Adam’s inability to spell on Match Game, spelling "bananas" via cheerleader chant [74:22].
• Long comedic riffing on why women’s sexuality is a unique career variable compared to men, plus fake eulogies for porn star “Janine”—mixing self-aware sexism with sardonic honesty [131:30+].
• Riffing on airline’s failed “caprese” salad—goat cheese as the ultimate culinary betrayal [58:47].
• Gina’s tales of workplace harassment (“I would call out sick the next day, I was so scared.” [134:22]), and awkward fan encounters.

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Timestamps for Key Segments

| Time | Segment | |-----------|-----------------------------------------------| | 03:19 | Kenan Thompson SNL Interview Begins | | 09:47 | SNL’s Workweek and “Black Jeopardy” | | 11:22 | Kenan’s Career Goals, Producing Projects | | 19:34 | Justin Long Interview (Journeyman Acting) | | 21:20 | “We’re carnies. We go where the tents are.” | | 25:42 | Justin on Mac Commercial vs. Stage | | 30:24 | Alec Baldwin Interview (Work/Life Balance) | | 38:45 | “If I won the lottery, I’d just stay home…” | | 40:15 | Baldwin, Cancel Culture, Old-School Speech | | 49:14 | Gina & Bryan Recap and Election Night Begins | | 63:20 | Adam on Politicians and Group Identity | | 70:59 | Personal Responsibility, Self-Made Paths | | 74:22 | Adam’s Match Game Spelling (“bananas”) | | 116:11 | Discussion: Next Barrier-Busting President | | 131:30 | Woman’s Perspective on Sex and Opportunity | | 134:22 | Gina Grad on Workplace Dynamics |

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Memorable Quotes Recap

• Kenan Thompson: “I wish I could do SNL forever... The plan is to get your own show or movies, but nothing beats a sitcom that works.” [11:22]
• Justin Long: “We're carnies, you go where the tents are.” [21:20]
• Alec Baldwin: “If I won the lottery, I’d just stay home with my kids.” [38:45]
• Adam Carolla: “If your own family won’t do anything for you, who’s going to do something for you?” [71:02]
• Gina Grad: “When I was a temp, I would get asked out to lunch a lot by management... I’d call out sick the next day, I was so scared.” [134:22]

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Tone & Takeaways

Unapologetically candid, sharply funny, and at times reflective, this episode embodies The Adam Carolla Show ethos: blending showbiz war stories with real-life observations and rants. There's a sense of transition—whether it's the SNL cast dynamic, Alec Baldwin’s midlife priorities, or the shifting national mood as election surprises unfold in real time. Through it all, the episode exudes camaraderie, authenticity, and a relentless push for personal agency, capped by the hosts’ signature irreverence.

Transcript

[Adam Carolla]

This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Do you ever find yourself playing the budgeting game? Well, with a Name youe Price tool from Progressive, you can find options that fit your budget and potentially lower your bills. Try [e-mail] Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates Price and coverage match limited by state law not available in all states.

[Brian]

Foreign.

[Adam Carolla]

Classics I'm your host, superfan Giovanni. This is the podcast we play the best moments, highlights and fans select the clips from all 17 years of the Adam Corolla Show. We have a companion podcast titled Corolla Classics available exclusively through Podcast one Plus you can find the ad free archives and if you'd like to find the ad free archives of the Adam Corolla show, the Adam and Dr. Drew show, or get access to the brand new podcast Beat It Out. Make sure to check out Adam Crolla's substack adamcarolla.substack.com and if you'd like to request a clip, please email us classicsdamcarolla.com let's get to the clips. Come up first, we have Adam Corolla show 1945 featuring Alec Baldwin, Kenan Thompson and Justin Long from 2016.

[Brian]

Hey, this is Adam Carolla. I'm in New York City. I'm backstage at Match Game. The backstory is Alec Baldwin asked me to come out here and do a few shows with him. I said I owed a podcast. I was able to grab a couple of celebrities from the Celebrity Match Game and then Alec at the end, some of this will be a little redundant because we kind of piece it together. We're grabbing people at lunch and between shows and so on and so forth. Kenan Thompson's coming up first. Love him on SNL, I will tell you that. My movie, the 24 Hour War doing very nicely on the pre orders. Thank you very much. Chassis C-A-S-Y.com it's coming out November 22, but we really appreciate the pre orders. We got a live show coming up in reno on the 19th. There's live shows, charity events and everything everywhere. Just go to AdamCarolla.com and once again, this is a little bit piecemeal because we had to kind of get it on the fly in between shows backstage here at. I think we're at ABC in New York City. Either way, I ask for your forgiveness because again, we had to cobble this together. But we got some pretty good stuff. And without any further ado, enjoy. Kenan Thompson. From New York City, this is the Adam Carolla show today Adam sits down for a special election day edition with Alec Baldwin, Saturday Night Live's Keenan Thompson and Justin Long. And now a reminder that if he sees you with an I voted sticker on your chest, you'll soon have his foot in your ass. Adam Cola.

[Justin Long]

All right.

[Brian]

Get it on. Got to get it on. A choice but to get on. Mandate. Get on. That's my beginning, Keenan.

[Kenan Thompson]

Get it on.

[Brian]

Thank you.

[Kenan Thompson]

Get it on. Get it on.

[Brian]

Thank you. We are here backstage. We're at the match game, and Kenan Thompson is here. Huge fan of yours.

[Kenan Thompson]

Thank you, man.

[Brian]

Huge fan of yours, Kenan. I didn't know who the guests were going to be, so we're going to have Justin Long. Ana Gasteyer is going to be here. Alec Baldwin's going to come in as well. But when I found out that Kenan was going to be on the show, I just pulled him aside for a moment so I could talk to him because I'm a huge SNL fan. And as I told you, off the microphone, I love to see your progress and I love to see how you began on the show and what you've blossomed into. So tell everyone how long you've been on the show, how many seasons.

[Kenan Thompson]

Well, thank you, Adam, for that delightful intro. This is season 14 for you.

[Brian]

So I think most people would say he's been on six years, right? Yeah.

[Kenan Thompson]

A lot of people say, like, so what is this, like, year number five?

[Adam Carolla]

Number.

[Kenan Thompson]

Like number four. Nice. 14.

[Brian]

Because you were so young when you started and you didn't come from Second City or the Groundlings. You came from Nickelodeon, right?

[Kenan Thompson]

Yeah.

[Brian]

So you sort of had those years where you're on the bench, learning the craft, watching the guys do what they do and the girls do what they do. And now you're just in full swing.

[Kenan Thompson]

Thank you. It was a lot of riding the bench. I mean, I got lucky because, you know, early on I was willing to do a lot of ladies. So that put me into the game early. Like, I did Star Jones when that whole Star Jones things was cracking, and then, you know, squeezed into Whoopi and some other ladies. But it kind of took a gay turn, which made it, you know.

[Brian]

Sure.

[Kenan Thompson]

And then did this. It was called Deep House Dish. I want to say it was a talk show, but it was mostly just people dancing.

[Brian]

Did you. I mean, you've always been around or in front of the camera. Right. So where'd you grow up?

[Kenan Thompson]

I'm from Atlanta.

[Brian]

Speaking of the gays, and who got you in? Do you have showbiz Parents?

[Kenan Thompson]

No, I mean my dad sang at church. I guess that's as show busy as it got for me. But my brother and I both started, you know, auditioning for stuff at a young age. Kind of just thing to do outside of sports, I guess.

[Brian]

Was it always comedy or did you want to act? Drama.

[Kenan Thompson]

I actually grew up doing like very straight theater type stuff and like, you know, it got super dramatic and extra in high school, like we were writing about like teenage AIDS and stuff like that. But I always was like the comic relief of stuff that I was ever in. So I would always tend to focus on the funny.

[Brian]

So when did you come to Hollywood?

[Kenan Thompson]

My first trip was when I did The Mighty Ducks 2 when I was 15, something like that. And then I moved out there after

[Brian]

high school and then that's when all the Nickelodeon stuff started going down.

[Kenan Thompson]

It was happening at the same time. It started like when I was 16 and then it went till I was 22.

[Brian]

So did you ever go to high school? Like normal high school?

[Kenan Thompson]

Yeah, when I was in town, like whenever we had breaks or whatever, I'd go back and then if school was in session, I would go to school, sound like went to prom and all that stuff.

[Brian]

Was it weird? I mean, showing up and everyone kind of knew who you were?

[Kenan Thompson]

No, I mean, I don't know if the shows were as popular yet. You know what I mean? Like when we were doing them, you either like really had to have cable and really be on top of Nickelodeon to know who we even were. And I went to public school so it wasn't like everybody was just knocking my door down like that.

[Brian]

And so how did the SNL come about? Because everyone auditions but you'd been doing comedy on TV for quite some time before that. Did somebody call you?

[Kenan Thompson]

I had been like sending my tape once I left Nickelodeon for a couple years and they kept telling me I was like too young to face. Too young to face or whatever. And then Tracy left and so there was like room for blackness. And I got to audition and straight up audition. I had to do stand up. I'd never done stand up before. So I had to make up like a terrible five minute run of stuff. And yeah, I did it on the stage for the callback which was more comfortable because that was like, you know, camera work. I was used to that. And then one more final like stand up audition in LA and then they picked like four of us.

[Brian]

So who was in your class 15 years ago or who was on the show when you entered 15 seasons ago when I entered.

[Kenan Thompson]

It was Jimmy and Tina and Horatio and Dratch and Amy Poehler and Seth and Fred and Forte.

[Brian]

And what was it like at the beginning? And, you know, we were sort of laughing about people thinking you've been on for six seasons, but you've been on for 15 seasons.

[Kenan Thompson]

It was a.

[Brian]

Was it discouraging at the beginning or were you just watching and taking it in?

[Kenan Thompson]

I mean, I felt like I was always pretty much embraced from the beginning. Cause Maya Rudolph gave me my first even moment on the show. I didn't even know we were supposed to, like, write our own sketches. And lucky enough for me in that first episode was like right after the Emmys and Wanda Sykes and Bill Cosby had like a weird run in. And she was like, I think we should like, recreate this moment or whatever. And I was like, cool, I got a Cosby. Because I've been doing Cosby since I was on Nickelodeon. And I was just like, let's do it. I wasn't scared of that because those were pretty comfortable shoes. And I just waited on the day and it was like a moment during Update. So I was like kind of just watching the show the whole time. Then I had to get in my bald cap and my little tuxedo and then sit there and wait for that moment. And then it happened.

[Brian]

Oh, that's right. Yeah, they had the Wanda Sykes, Bill Cosby thing. Yeah, they had like the audience. And it was just bait at exchange. Maybe it was a precursor.

[Kenan Thompson]

She was like doing her. I think she was hosting, so she was being like, you know, play with

[Alec Baldwin]

everybody in the audience.

[Kenan Thompson]

And he was not giving up the love at all.

[Brian]

No, but again, that was our first sort of glimpse at the dark side of Bill Cosby, perhaps. Yeah. So what is the week like for you on an average SNL week?

[Kenan Thompson]

I mean, it's pretty busy. There's six day shoot weeks. Not shoot weeks, but six days worth of prep, I guess you could say. And then we do the show on Saturday. So I guess five days of prepping the show. But it's tough because we pitch on Monday and, you know, you can start writing if you want, but we write all night Tuesday, basically. And then Wednesday is a table reading. Rehearsal starts Thursday and Friday. So it's like every single day of your week pretty much is encumbered by catering to the house. You know what I'm saying?

[Brian]

I gotta tell you, Black Jeopardy is my favorite.

[Kenan Thompson]

Thank you, man. Shout out to Brian Tucker. Shout out to Michael J. Those are our two writers on that. And they crush it every single time.

[Brian]

Yeah, but it's. I feel like it's mostly you.

[Alec Baldwin]

Thank you.

[Brian]

I mean, this stuff is funny, but

[Kenan Thompson]

I try to contribute your style. I like to play the maestro. It's nice to, like, you know, move the scene along and, like, play the beats out when it's going or whatever. Like, if there's a moment to be taken, it's usually me who gets to find it. So, you know, the host position is a good one.

[Brian]

Do you. So for you, I mean, a lot of people use SNL as a stepping stone, getting into theatrical stuff and all that business. For you, what's the plan? I mean, a lot of people have, you know, done their thing on SNL and have moved on by now. You're just hitting your stride on snl. I don't know why you want to go anywhere, but is there a plan?

[Kenan Thompson]

I mean, I don't want to. I wish I could do it forever. You know what I mean? I mean, the plan is the typical one, to try to get your own show or try to get your own production thing going, whether it's a series of movies with your buddies or if it's just a sitcom, that'd be great. Not to say just a sitcom, that'd be like, awesome. You know what I mean? To get a sitcom that works. So, I mean, I guess the focus is to continue that and then, you know, trying to put like a producer

[Brian]

hat on and start, well, are you doing. Are you writing? Are you writing, you know, full length stuff? Theatrical stuff, comedies or developing stuff?

[Kenan Thompson]

Yeah, we did a pilot with Nickelodeon called Buccaneer Galaxy and hopefully that gets picked up. It should be awesome. If it does. It's like, about pirates in outer space, so.

[Brian]

But if it does get picked up, then do you have to leave snl?

[Kenan Thompson]

No, I'm just a producer on that, so I can do both. I believe.

[Brian]

I think the. I don't know, you know, SNL has sort of its ebbs and its flows and we all know there's two good years and the lean years and the all star casts and the lightning in a bottle sort of Eddie Murphy kind of stuff, and then the slightly more bizarre Cass cast. And they had, you know, Robert Downey Jr. Was in there for a while.

[Kenan Thompson]

Yeah.

[Brian]

And like, weird stuff, but I finally. Right. Yeah. Anthony. Anthony. Michael.

[Kenan Thompson]

Anthony Michael Hall.

[Brian]

Yeah, There it is. There's something.

[Kenan Thompson]

Michael C. Hall is Dexter, right? Yeah.

[Brian]

So.

[Kenan Thompson]

So not Dexter, I feel.

[Brian]

But I don't know what you think and I don't know if you're as much of a historian as I am, but I feel like, oh, Randy Quaid. I feel like there's this really sweet spot you guys are in, which is all about the product. Whereas when you have Eddie Murphy and he's gonna do Gumby, it's just kind of the Eddie Murphy show.

[Kenan Thompson]

Yes.

[Brian]

And everyone else is kind of working around him. Yes. And it's been that way with certain. Certain, you know, John Belushi. It's like he's gonna do.

[Adam Carolla]

This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Do you ever find yourself playing the budgeting game? Well, with a Name youe Price tool from Progressive, you can find options that fit your budget and potentially lower your bills. Try [e-mail], progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. Price and coverage match limited by state law. Not available in all states.

[Brian]

He's gonna do the Sam Right guy. Then he's gonna do this guy, and he's gonna do that guy, and you guys are just kind of window dressing. And I feel like it's. It's. It's hit its stride in the sense that it's a true ensemble for sure now.

[Kenan Thompson]

I mean, last week was a prime example of that. I think, like, everybody had, like, a one or two type of moment. I mean, Beck had a big show, but, you know, Beck, you know, usually has a big show. So it was cool to see how everybody kind of got their thing in, like, even, like, Pete had his, like, you know, recorded thing and he got one in. You know what I mean? It was, like, well received and everything else that went on down. It was very much a team effort, and that's what it's been lately. And, you know, I think that is the ideal situation, like, the day of, like, the breakout star. One person you want to watch, probably. You know, I don't know. I don't know if it ended with Will Ferrell or not, but it seems like people tend to love it when they know everybody in the cast and they can enjoy everybody's different ways of being funny.

[Brian]

It's kind of weird. It's sort of like the audience is like kids who want to eat pie for dinner. And it's like as an audience, you do kind of want that Will Ferrell and doing Harry Carey or something. You want that big breakout. Oh, do the. Do the Czech Brothers or do the. Whatever the bid is. But the reality is, I think it's more nutritious to have, like, some spinach and some. Some chicken. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like ours. Some salmon. Yeah. What I'm saying is I don't want to go racial here. I'll say salmon. Yeah. But what I'm. What I'm saying is stuck with chicken, it's. I didn't say how it was prepared. Right.

[Kenan Thompson]

It could have been like grilled chicken.

[Brian]

Well, it's good. Could have been broasted. The point is, as a sort of comedy connoisseur, I appreciate it's a more nutritious meal to see all the food groups represented, rather than, let's just shove the dessert out front.

[Kenan Thompson]

I mean, you know, it seems like you should.

[Brian]

This is our lunch break, by the way, so you can tell what's going on.

[Kenan Thompson]

It just seems like you want to watch the will. Like, it should be called the Will Ferrell show or it should be called, like, the Jimmy Fallon show or something like that. And, you know, I guess they go into that once they graduate from the school. But I always like it when I can call out, you know, a character that everybody can do. You know, I get excited when, you know, Bobby does, like, Anthony Crispino or something. I'm like, I can't wait. You know what I'm saying? Anything else like that? So I think everybody's got their favorite cast member and stuff like that. But when you watch the show from beginning to end, it's usually really nice when more than one person is scoring.

[Brian]

Well, last question. I'm a huge fan, but I still never know if there's a rerun coming or we got a live one coming now. What's this week?

[Kenan Thompson]

This is. We're live for the next two weeks.

[Brian]

Okay, so who do we have coming up?

[Kenan Thompson]

Dave Friggin Chappelle.

[Brian]

Wow.

[Kenan Thompson]

And Tribe called Quiz Est.

[Brian]

Now that is some fried. I mean, broasted.

[Kenan Thompson]

That is. Whatever it is, it's gonna be chicken in the house.

[Brian]

So when a guy like that comes in and I'm guessing you're a fan.

[Kenan Thompson]

Huge.

[Brian]

Does it freak you out a little bit? Are you trying too hard or you have a bunch of stuff that sort of.

[Kenan Thompson]

I mean, I think, you know, thankfully he's, you know, taking it as serious as anybody else is that here's the news that he's going to do it. You know what I mean? So he's kind of been around for the last couple weeks, which helped to subsidize that because I was super fan freaking out, like, the first couple times he was around, and now I can kind of just treat him like a dude. But, yeah, I was, you know, an epic fan. I still have the DVDs, you know, probably in my backpack right now.

[Brian]

So the guys who are really serious about it and who want to do it right show up not the week of their week if they've never done it, but pop in some weeks ahead and start to kind of figure it out. Yeah. Fertilize the. So till the soil a little bit so that they'll have a good harvest come Saturday night.

[Kenan Thompson]

Well, I mean, comics write, you know what I'm saying? So comics are always thinking about writing and stuff like that. I guess, like actors are used to being written for.

[Brian]

Right? Yeah.

[Kenan Thompson]

He's been trying to figure out like, you know, what exactly is the type of writing that scores well at snl. And that's a great thing to figure out before you're under the gun because everything, it's a six day week, but we kind of lock it in by Wednesday, you know what I mean?

[Brian]

Right.

[Kenan Thompson]

So Tuesday and Monday, it's early in the week, but those are kind of the most important nights, you know what I'm saying? So a lot of people don't get that and he does. So it should be crazy.

[Brian]

We will be watching this Saturday night.

[Kenan Thompson]

Yeah.

[Brian]

Snl. We got two more fresh ones coming before we go into reruns. Kenan Thompson, thank you so much. No, thank you for coming in. I can carve out the rest of

[Kenan Thompson]

the season if you want. Like Thanksgiving, we're off, and then three for December and then Christmas and then we're down for three and then we're back in January.

[Brian]

And when you're out in LA pitching Nickelodeon, come on by the studio.

[Kenan Thompson]

No, I mean I want to see your race cars. Oh, yeah, forget the studio.

[Justin Long]

All right.

[Brian]

Thanks, Kenan.

[Kenan Thompson]

No, thank you.

[Brian]

So we continue on here from backstage at Celebrity Match Game. Baldwin will be third. Justin Long is warming up the crowd for Alec Baldwin.

[Justin Long]

I don't mind.

[Brian]

Justin Long. Good to see you, my friend.

[Justin Long]

Good to see you.

[Brian]

Justin's a sweet guy. He took a break from eating his lunch and he agreed to come on with nothing to plug. So I guess we should just talk a little about.

[Justin Long]

I just like to talk.

[Brian]

Let's just talk about the journey.

[Justin Long]

Justin, he's just lonely, needed a friend and. Yeah. I haven't talked to you in this format in about 10 years.

[Brian]

I know. So it's high time you started off. You grew up, I think you said, out in Connecticut.

[Justin Long]

Yep.

[Brian]

And you're. This is going to come across the wrong way, but you're an unlikely star.

[Justin Long]

Thank you.

[Brian]

No, it's good. That's a compliment. So what got You.

[Justin Long]

I agree. It's unlikely for me, too into the business.

[Brian]

What was the plan?

[Justin Long]

The plan was to maybe. Because my mom was an actress when I was growing up, so the plan was to kind of follow in her footsteps and do what? My idea of acting was what. What my mom and all of her friends and all the actors that I knew in my life did, which was to do, you know, plays and then. And then occasionally make money doing commercials. Doing the occasional commercial. And then once in a like blue moon, if you really struck it, you got like a guest star on NYPD Blue or something. And that was. So that's what I thought of, you know, that was. That was the plan, if there is. If there was one.

[Brian]

Right. So like journeyman, sort of just go out and make a living as an actor. But it in is probably unglamorous a way as you can think of, like, treat it like a job.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Justin Long]

You know, I remember Tim Busfield used to say about this actor Tim Busfield, who used to say about acting, he said, you know, Justin, we're like.

[Brian]

We're carnies.

[Justin Long]

You know, we go where the tents are. And he said, meaning, you just kind of take whatever job you take. You take. If there's a job, you take it. And that was how I was thought of acting.

[Brian]

And so for you, it was.

[Justin Long]

Which explains a lot of these. The movies that I've done.

[Brian]

The Breakdown was the Apple thing, the breakout.

[Justin Long]

I guess there were a couple things that. Yeah, I suppose in a way, in terms of. Yeah, more people kind of recognizing me in a different demographics recognizing me.

[Brian]

But.

[Justin Long]

But I think the first big break was a movie called Galaxy Quest.

[Brian]

Oh, yeah. Galaxy Quest was one of those movies that was not a big breakout hit, but everyone loved it.

[Justin Long]

Yeah.

[Brian]

And then everyone sort of loved it after it came out a little bit. There's certain movies, I don't know, like Spinal Tap or something, like there's some sort of steeping process or something. They don't make a splash. They just kind of come out, but then people disc them. I guess it's word of mouth.

[Justin Long]

Yeah, I. I think it was a lot smarter than people. Than the marketing anyway, gave it credit for. I remember it being marketed as sort of like a goofy Tim Allen comedy, like space comedy.

[Brian]

Right.

[Justin Long]

But it was a little bit smarter than that. So people found it and. And to the point where they were going to do a series they were on. I think Amazon was going to do a series that was all written, the scripts were ready to go, the cast was all set, like A year ago. And it was right before. So obviously. And sadly, Alan Rickman died and kind of that's what kind of put the kibosh on that. But they were all set to do it is.

[Brian]

So for you, you're out here, you're in New York, or you are. Yeah. And you got a play coming up or you're going to San Diego to do a play. I think a lot of people don't realize. I learned this from my friend David Alan Greer, who was always going to San Diego to do a play, which always sounded so random to me. Coming from la. Why are you going to San Diego? I was like, go to San Diego and then you go to Broadway.

[Justin Long]

Yeah.

[Brian]

And I'm like, why San Diego?

[Justin Long]

I guess it's a big. I. I would have asked the same thing. I guess big theater community there.

[Brian]

It just becomes the place that you go. It's like to test out the plays, right? Yeah. Like when you want to test a car, you go to Death Valley.

[Justin Long]

It's the Death Valley of theater.

[Brian]

And when you want to test a play, you go to San Diego.

[Justin Long]

It's got a nice ring to it.

[Brian]

And you test it and I guess you work it out. I don't know. And then you figure out, does it go to Broadway? So for you, is that the plan to go from San Diego to Broadway?

[Justin Long]

I think with this particular play that I think they're talking about that, I think that's. I don't know. I don't know enough about the process, but I think in general, like, with this theater in particular, that's what they try to do with. With the plays, but with any, you know, out of town theater, reputable theater, I think that's always the goal. I do a lot of work up at Williamstown Theatre Festival up in upstate Massachusetts. I just love it up there. And. And that's every, you know, every so often though, a play that had started there will come down to Broadway. So.

[Brian]

Yeah. Is it for you, so now going full circle back to just that sort of yeoman acting? Get up on stage, do your thing. Not necessarily. I mean, the thing that's, I don't know, like a Mac commercial couldn't be any further away from what you're talking about because it's the least acting. Yeah. Possible. With the most exposure.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. That.

[Brian]

Possible.

[Justin Long]

That commercial in particular is the least acting. It is the. Yeah. There's very little heavy lifting involved. I remember the big choice I always had to make was when do I take my hands out of my pockets? Because I'M Italian. I gesticulate a lot. So I, I always was very self conscious about. I guess I can leave them in until now and now I can use them. But. Yeah, so there was very little involved in that. And yet it was a thing that a lot of people saw. And I guess it's a thing that has enabled me to then do these other jobs, you know, not like a theater job.

[Brian]

But for you, does it matter at all whether you're in San Diego acting or on a Super bowl commercial?

[Justin Long]

Yeah, I mean, I guess I'd rather be in San Diego. I'd rather.

[Brian]

A lot of people would rather be on a Super bowl commercial than in San Diego.

[Justin Long]

Yeah, I guess both are nice. Both for different reasons. I don't. But at this point in my life, I think this is going to sound really morbid and not at all entertaining. But I've, you know, the older I get, the more precious time becomes. And so I've been more conscientious about how I spend my time.

[Brian]

Very dark doing. Sorry about this podcast. This used to be the backstage.

[Justin Long]

Yeah, the biggest podcast. I'm also very self conscious of the fact that Alec Baldwin's should. Alec Baldwin should be here. And he's fine. No, well, he's fine. But your listeners aren't necessarily now getting this. How does the Mac I feel about acting in theater? Jesus Christ.

[Brian]

No, I just talked to Baldwin. He's buried in Chinese food in his dressing room.

[Justin Long]

It's very ballsy of you, ballsy of you two to throw out the Daniel Baldwin joke. We just. Adam and I just recorded a match game and you had, you kept going back to the same bit. The woman who was the contestant said made some. Said that her husband was planning their entire wedding and then referenced her husband as being a Cosmo drinker and a sea breeze drinker. And so Adam just picked up that ball.

[Brian]

Yes.

[Justin Long]

And ran with it the whole time,

[Brian]

as you know, with that mirror ball. As far as I could drag it. Yes.

[Justin Long]

She was a bit. She was a beard for this guy.

[Brian]

Yes.

[Justin Long]

Yeah, a lot of, A lot of

[Brian]

gay comeback sort of references to that.

[Justin Long]

When Fire came up, you got excited

[Brian]

and used Fire Island.

[Justin Long]

Of course.

[Brian]

I don't want to give away too much, but.

[Justin Long]

Oh, yeah, no spoiler alerts for the

[Brian]

Matt got me confused by the way he asked the very. One of the questions. And then there's that moment, that horrible sinking feeling when you go, oh, I'm confused. And I'm of average intelligence. So one of the other five people up here with me Must be confused as well. Turns out none of you were confused. It was simply me that was confused.

[Justin Long]

It was pretty straightforward.

[Brian]

But.

[Justin Long]

But that was. It was fun.

[Brian]

But you.

[Justin Long]

You did. You did also drop a Daniel Baldwin.

[Brian]

I dropped a Daniel Baldwin. Baldwin's ass, which I've always.

[Justin Long]

I wonder if he hears when people do that. I wonder if it's which Baldwin they. They reference in a. In a.

[Brian]

Okay, now they're not. One second. Sorry. That's fine. They want me now. You're done, right?

[Justin Long]

I'm done. Yeah.

[Brian]

You get to finish your meal. And they want me to get in the wardrobe and get into the. Into the green room. So we'll take another quick break here. It's not going to be long if you're listening, because we'll whack it together seamlessly. Justin Long has nothing to plug but a website or tweet or no tweet.

[Justin Long]

A tweet that I'm proud of.

[Brian]

Yeah.

[Justin Long]

When is this gonna air? When?

[Brian]

It'll air on Monday, today or Tuesday.

[Justin Long]

Oh, so people can vote.

[Brian]

Yeah, people can vote.

[Justin Long]

Yeah. Excited about that, and I hope people do. And that's what you need, right? Another.

[Brian]

That's what we need. More voting. We need another preachy actor.

[Justin Long]

Here we go. You're welcome, guys.

[Brian]

All right, so that's Justin Long. I'm gonna go get changed. And we'll have Alec Baldwin in next. And now a message from Donald Trump.

[Adam Carolla]

Believe me, you're going to want to spend election night with Corolla Digital. Okay, there's going to be a Facebook live stream of the Adam Carolla show. Okay. I've been on the show. Ratings went through the roof when I was on it. It's true. You can look it up even. And I did it. Even though they had Lion Ted Cruz on the show also, which I didn't like, but I did it anyway. This is gonna be at 6pm Pacific on election night. Okay. Adam's coming directly from LAX, so the time is subject to change. If he had a private jet like me, he could guarantee the time, but he's still doing very well. I like him. So just be mindful that he's coming from LAX. But it's supposed to be 6pm they'll be taking your questions from the comments section. Okay, so get to facebook.com Adam Carolla. And by the way, there's also gonna be a live stream of the Lackey's Water Cooler podcast before at 4:30pm Pacific. Believe me, you're not going to want to miss this.

[Alec Baldwin]

It's unbelievable.

[Adam Carolla]

It's the second biggest thing other than my presidency happening on election night, believe me.

[Brian]

All right. Finally, Alec Baldwin is here again. We're backstage at Match Game, by the way. ABC Match Game, first season available on Hulu, second season coming soon. Movie rules don't apply. Howard Hughes's movie. Well, not his movie, but it's about Howard Hughes. I just saw the commercial.

[Alec Baldwin]

It was his movie last night.

[Brian]

Yeah, he could have produced it. So, Alec, thanks for making time.

[Alec Baldwin]

Thanks for having me. My pleasure.

[Brian]

I have a thousand questions. I see you on the stage, I see you off the stage. Soon as you get off the stage, you're on the phone, you're lining up the next deal.

[Alec Baldwin]

Getting my wife lunch.

[Brian]

You're getting your wife lunch. You're spinning plates, you're changing diapers. Is there a sort of a I gotta make hay while the sun shines approach to life, or is it always been this way, or are you speeding up?

[Alec Baldwin]

Who was it that said to me. They said it was Seinfeld. Seinfeld said. He said, you're like these vaudevillians. He said you don't like to see blank boxes on the calendar. You don't like to be blank on the schedule.

[Brian]

Right? Blank boxes.

[Alec Baldwin]

You want to be booked every day. You want to be.

[Brian]

Yeah, but booked. I. I'm working my ass off now, but I remember when I was sort of, I don't know, 35, I had a sort of slightly more laissez faire approach to this career or this life or this whatever. We taped the Man Show. We'd finish season two, and I'd say, okay, see you in season three. And I'd go home.

[Alec Baldwin]

Well, for my podcast, I just interviewed Michael Stipe from REM Said something similar, which was, you know, everybody in this business, you do it long enough and not so much like, oh, you got it. You know, I got this. And it's going to be your, you know, kind of casual about it. There's just other things that emerge that you like. It's not your primary focus anymore. It's. It's one among many. So for me, as movies that I made, as TV shows that I made weren't as true in terms of expressing my creative impulses. You know, I mean, I would do a movie sometimes or a TV show just to go to work, right? And I found other things to do that I liked as much or more. So I started working with the New York Philharmonic, and I'm the announcer on the radio for the Philharmonic, and that takes up some of my time. That I do these silly little webisodes for TruTV. Right now we're on TRUTV called Love Ride, where I give romantic advice, but is there.

[Brian]

And then my podcast is there. Yeah, the podcast, by the way, here's the thing. Very interesting. I was just listening to him and Mickey Rourke waxed poetic a few weeks ago on a car ride. I was God knows where in Chicago. But again, this feeling of impending doom with a little. Not in a negative way, but a little, hey, you can't do this forever. And then also. And I'm just sort of scatter shotting this one off the top of my head. Unlike the vaudevillian days, everything we do is captured digitally. So you really are leaving something behind when you're on stage and it's lit by candles and you're singing about mammy that doesn't get left behind. Let's hope that doesn't.

[Alec Baldwin]

Bless you is my woman now.

[Brian]

Yeah, what you're doing is digital, captured there forever. Your kids, grandkids. Grandkids can see you.

[Alec Baldwin]

It's indelible. Yeah, but even the Internet. Even the Internet will get filled up one day. Don't you think even the Internet's gonna go, okay? It's like. It's like a lake.

[Brian]

Listen, I almost took a beating from a group of male friends of mine when I announced the other day, I don't think we need any more new porn. And I barely. It was like. It was like a gang initiation. They all just piled on top of me and started beating me with my own shoes, like, jacket. There is enough. Yeah, like a good cot beating with the bars of soap in the pillowcase. But I was like, yes, there is enough. But so for you, what is the sense of urgency or this?

[Alec Baldwin]

What's your fear? What are you fearing for me? Heart attack?

[Brian]

No, no heart attack. No, what. What I'm saying is, is you've picked up more steam, I feel like, in the last five years than, you know, between 35 and 40. You're picking your roles. You thought you had to. You had to craft this kind of career.

[Alec Baldwin]

Well, truthfully, I feel the opposite, actually. And that was when I was divorced, and I had a lot of time on my hands, and I had one child, and I was single, and I was. I mean, I couldn't work enough. I mean, I just wanted to work and work and work. And that's when I picked up the podcast, and I was doing 30 Rock and so forth, and I'm running around doing all kinds of things. And now you Know, cutting ribbons and raising money for charities. A lot of that. Now I do a lot less of that than I used to. And my wife and I have three little kids and everything I do, work wise, and this is a very cliche thing to say is hinged around them. I got offered a great job and they said, come to Pittsburgh for five weeks to do a movie. And it was a group of people I really, really wanted to work with. It would have been good for me to go. I don't go, come do this miniseries with this top shelf writer, producer, director who wants me to come do this thing for three, four months in Vancouver. No. So for me right now, everything is doing Match Game, doing all the things I do. This is about staying home. So at the same time, I want to find something that's more kind of interesting to me. Beyond. I mean, the game show's fun, but I do the podcast. I've got a book coming out in April. I wrote a memoir that's coming out in April. And, you know, finding work that I want to do at my age, I'm going to be 59 in April, and finding work that I want to do is not the same as before because it's not that it takes a lot to get me out of bed. It's just that I. I've done a lot of things and I don't have the same amount of interest I used to do.

[Brian]

You feel like. And it's. It's complimentary, but a little bit loaded, or at least I'll say this.

[Alec Baldwin]

How could it be otherwise?

[Brian]

I feel like you're so good at so many different facets of this business that you really can't just hone in on the playing the action star or the heavy or the whatever. And that in a weird way, your brain is pulling you many different directions at once. Because it is add. You can host a game show, but you can play the heavy in a drama. But you can do the comedy thing. You can do the podcast, you can write the book. Like, oh, you can do stage. Like in. In a weird way. Do you feel that? And, and I'll say it, your genius is sort of makes almost everything except moving. No, but here's what I'm saying. Like, like guys who are really good athletes, they quit what they're doing and start playing a different sport in the middle of it because they're so good, they're such good athletes that they could just steer it whatever direction they want sometimes to their detriment.

[Alec Baldwin]

I think that the, for me, you know, the days when you could have a career, especially when you get older, you know, Hanks and Denzel and Cruz and people who are kind of on top of the heap all the time. That's been the case for decades. So they got that Visa stamped a long time ago, you know, and I think that not many people have careers like that anymore. A lot of them have fallen off that yacht, so to speak. And for me, whatever was the time of my life to make my life only about movie making, you know, that time came and went 20 something years ago. And today, you know, you. You stick to that one thing. When you want to see Leo in a. In. In something, you go to a movie and you buy a ticket, and then you never see him otherwise, right? You see his name in the social papers or in the tabloids or something, and he's dating this underwear model or what have you, but you never see him. You know, maybe he pops up for some climate change thing and that's the way it has to be, you know, and for me, I wasn't willing to do that. I got involved in different causes and different things that interested me. And, you know, but to be honest with you, I know this sounds weird, but writing this book and doing the podcast, I do. If I won the lottery tomorrow, and that's another cliche, I'm sorry, but if I won the lottery tomorrow, I'd never work again. I just stay home with my kids because I just really, that. That's the thing I'm into now is having a family.

[Brian]

So your. Your temperament, like in terms of your emotional place that you're in right now, it feels calm.

[Alec Baldwin]

It's my bacon bread at the Dakota phase. Yeah.

[Brian]

Yeah.

[Alec Baldwin]

I'm writing songs for little Sean Lennon.

[Brian]

Was it. Was it before tumultuous because there was too much testosterone running through you? Was it your headspace? Like, what.

[Alec Baldwin]

I think that when you have some kind of a. When you have some kind of, I think an unpleasant relationship with people like the tabloid press or whatever, it's. It's different from behaving a certain way unprovoked. You know, the. The. In the. This is not an excuse, but it's an explanation. And I think there's a real difference, and that is that people I would kind of mix it up with, they kind of did me. You know what I mean? Right? If a guy shooting me and my wife and my newborn kid, and he's 50ft away with a telephoto, we don't have a couple problem, but it's the guys that got up in my face and tried to hit my wife in the teeth with the lens of the camera. I mean, they really taunted you and they wanted that confrontation. And the mistake was that I gave it to them. And I think that, but that, that,

[Brian]

that's sort of a. You're a product of your environment, your upbringing, where you came from, you know, some of the names you use to refer to people. I'm the same, I come from the same place. We grew up calling our 13 year old buddies fags. We weren't saying it as a slight to the homosexual community. It was simply when we came up, where we came up.

[Alec Baldwin]

But I think what's important is in that particular case, you play a tape and this is a very important delineation for me. You play a tape of that event and you don't see me say that word and you don't hear me say that word that the camera's on my back.

[Brian]

I'm really using myself as an example.

[Alec Baldwin]

No, but I think it's important because I think this is a, this is a problem with the times we live in and that is that the, the tape's on my back and you can hear everything clear as a bell and it drops out when you hear that word that then Harvey Levin and the people from tmz. Super. The word printed over the screen and tell you what I said.

[Brian]

Really.

[Alec Baldwin]

And in my litigation with msnbc, because I sued them and we brought in all these acousticians to kind of say when we say where's the, where's the proof? Do you have some proof that I actually said that word? And the answer was no, they didn't. And, and, and so I, I do. That one upsets me, you know, because I think, no, if you say someone is a, as a blank sucker. You know what I mean? I found out that itself is a homo. Homophobic epithet and you shouldn't use that word. So, yeah, I'm becoming more aware of. Or I became then very quickly I had a crash course in that awareness, thanks to Glad.

[Brian]

No, I, I get it. I've been there too. And I'm just saying.

[Alec Baldwin]

You have?

[Brian]

Well, yeah.

[Alec Baldwin]

Not in public though.

[Brian]

Well, you mean have I ever blown a guy in public? No, no.

[Alec Baldwin]

Have you? With that we know I've seen. I have got the new porn you're talking.

[Brian]

I have gotten into trouble over the years, as you could imagine, speaking into a microphone and speaking my mind for things that weren't, you know, when I was a kid, calling someone a Chinaman was not a Big deal. When I was a kid, in gun smoke or bonanza, they'd call the Hop Sing the Chinaman, you know, and that. That's then. And now. This is now.

[Alec Baldwin]

So you refer to a mess as a Chinese fire drill.

[Brian]

Right, Right.

[Alec Baldwin]

And now. No.

[Brian]

So. But. But beyond the verbiage, I feel like your wife, your kids, your station in life feels just a lot more Serene. Yes. Serene.

[Alec Baldwin]

Yeah. I feel better. Oh, the other thing, though, is that the things you say now, the reason you want to be extra careful is because I think that to some degree, everybody has their thing that they think about. They have an opinion or they have a lexicon in some way that you don't want to externalize. You don't want that out there. Like if people could read your mind, sure, you get hung like everybody else. And so you want to be more careful, not just to cover your ass and not just to. To be kinder and not offend other people. Also, is that it lives forever. It lives forever to this day. There are people online the minute my name comes up, there are right wing political opposites of mine who. All they do is pull out everything like that. What you're talking about, they're like, oh, he's a. I mean, he's a homophobic wife beater.

[Brian]

Right, Right. And it's. It's sad, but it's sort of the times we're living in. And in a weird way, I feel like it's hit its saturation point. So that if somebody calls, I've. I've always said there's never been a better time to be an actual racist. Like, if you're an actual racist, 2016 is your year because we're calling everybody.

[Alec Baldwin]

It's the golden age of racism.

[Brian]

Yeah, everyone's a racist. And you just get lumped in with this celebrity and that guy on part of a trends or whatever it is. You're just part. You're just in. So it's like, I'm a racist. You're a racist. The actual racist. We just.

[Alec Baldwin]

It's like being an expatriate in France

[Brian]

during World War I. Yes. You're reading my mind.

[Alec Baldwin]

Yeah.

[Brian]

So I know you got to get back to doing some hosting over here, so I'll keep it going and wrap it up pretty quick. But first off, I'm flattered that you asked me to come out here.

[Alec Baldwin]

Glad you could make a show.

[Brian]

Number two, we were talking off the air before the show about the sort of transformation and I was explaining to you how. Oh, Blair, sir. Sorry, the. The Producer, the. The creator, Norman Lear. Norman Lear. Norman Lear said to me when I was interviewing him, just like this, that he's a much different guy at 92 than he was at 85. And I thought, first off, I thought, how can that be? You're just old and then older. And then I realized that's sort of ageist to think that way, because I'm a lot different than I was seven years ago. Why shouldn't he be different than he was seven years ago? Even if that's seven years ago is 85. And I. And it seemed to gel that. That thought with you. You're 59, and I'll be 59 in April. You'll be 59. So back when you were 51, are you different?

[Alec Baldwin]

Well, I think that, you know, when I turned 50, and I don't try to explain this, I don't. I mean, it really surprised me, even I was really flipped out. I couldn't believe it. When I turned 30, I thought, wow, that really hit me too. I thought, my youth is over. I'm not really young anymore. When you're 30, you're young, but you feel like you're getting older. When I turned 40, I was elated, I was euphoric. I thought, God, I really beginning to understand who I am and what I'm doing, and maybe I'm getting better at it and I'm learning how to become a better actor or what have you. When I turned 50, I wanted to shoot myself. I was so depressed. I lay in bed for like two days, crying and going, this can't be. I mean, I'm really seeing over the top of the mountain now, and there's more days behind me than there are ahead of me, blah, blah, blah. And. And now I'm just completely juiced again. I'm married. I got three kids. I've got a. I've got four enormous five, including my other. My other daughter, Ireland. I've got five reasons to take better care of myself and to stay alive and to keep working. And I really. The way that I'm different is I'm. I have a family. I have a family, which I had a family. And then that all went away. I grew up in a family. And I realize now how much I missed that. I mean, I love coming home. And even though it's challenging and even though my wife and I, you know, we work hard and at the end of the day, I'm getting stomped to death, you know, by my son. He's just so incredible. But I'm just I put the key in the door and I know there's something I love more than anything on the other side of that door. So I'm happy.

[Brian]

So the question I always have to ask and I've always said with you is politics. It seems like that's something in your future.

[Alec Baldwin]

You know, I don't, I don't think so, because I, when I turned 50, I really, really got into mortality. I stopped and I said to myself, and I was, it surprised me, too. I was like, we're all going to die. We're going to die. And I kept thinking, you know, what happens when you die? And am I going to see my dad again? And all this kind of theological, I guess, stuff. And, and I, and I realized I, I, I don't have a lot of time left. I take that back. I have a lot of time left, but none to waste. And there's certain things that I thought about doing, but they've come off that list and that's one of them. So I, right now I just want to make a living and work hard and take care of my family and

[Brian]

be with my family and last question then, religion, because I never really talked to you about it. I know you're a passionate guy and you're a spiritual guy, but are you religious?

[Alec Baldwin]

I'm Catholic. I'm Catholic. I was raised Catholic. And periodically. Right now I'm probably in a lull again because of my work schedule, but I'm a churchgoer. But I found out from my priest why I go to church. And that is, he said, he said, all of us have little pieces of all of us, all of other faiths in us, you know, Judaism and Muslim and Buddhism and so forth, and Hinduism. He said, sometimes I think I'm a Catholic because they have the nicest places to hang out. They have the nicest real estate. So maybe that's my answer.

[Brian]

Well, a good note to go out on Match Game. Of course we're going to go in and shoot another episode Post Haste. It's available the first season on Hulu and then second season's coming to Movie Rules Don't Apply. That is, That's Warren Beatty's movie. Yeah.

[Alec Baldwin]

He plays Howard Hughes.

[Brian]

Oh, that's right, yeah.

[Alec Baldwin]

And Warren directed.

[Brian]

That is November 23rd. So that's coming up. And then the podcast, of course.

[Alec Baldwin]

Here's the thing at WNYC at their

[Brian]

website with Alec Baldwin, and he always gets the A listers. So until next time, this is Adam Crow for Alec Baldwin saying mahalo.

[Adam Carolla]

That was adam Crolla Show, 1945, recorded behind the scenes of the Match Game while Adam was filming. Coming up next, we have the very next episode, Adam Crolla Show, 1946. Just Adam, Gina and Brian, election night 2016. Check it out.

[Brian]

Good day, Gina grad.

[Gina Grad]

Good day to you. And can I tell you, two really hot chicks came up to me, and Austin said their very Catholic mother turned them onto the show.

[Brian]

Mmm. I've been getting it. Anne Ball. Bryan, I can tell you things are always sort of anecdotal, but they mean everything. If you're doing a morning radio show and somebody says, oh, I pulled up next to a car to signal and they had the window rolled down and I could hear your radio show, you get a couple of those stories. Those are better than all the Arbitron Diaries or the PPMS or whatever. Just a couple of. Either you're on the radar or you're off the radar. And when you talk to people, they're like, oh, I turn. And now he's a. Whatever. Those are the stories. And conversely, when you hear. Hear none of those. Yeah, it's bad.

[Adam Carolla]

I know. I personally started to experience like, or be aware of this podcast success. You probably experienced this back when KROC or Man show or whatever it was back in the day, Loveline, when, like, people would recognize me more often in public. It would happen once every six months back in the radio days. Then this podcast started to get some traction. Was once a month and once every few weeks. And I was like, oh, hey, I listen to the show. Big fan. I watched it at Bay City's Italian deli in Santa Monica. Place is packed. You gotta wait at the actual candidate, order your sandwich. Guy looks at me, pulls out his earbud and goes, I'm listening to you right now.

[Brian]

Yeah, it was awesome. Nice.

[Adam Carolla]

And then he stabbed me.

[Brian]

Bay City, by the way, everyone loves Bay City. It's the best. The best. The best bread is too chewy, and again, it's too chewy. You pull the meat squirts out because you're gnawing. You're pulling at it. When the bread gets a little too chewy, innards will. Will squirt out while you're gnawing.

[Adam Carolla]

This is my ultimate use of. Yeah, but still.

[Brian]

Yeah, but still.

[Adam Carolla]

It's delicious Italian bread.

[Brian]

It is. It is. I just. I need. I need a sub that I can get through.

[Adam Carolla]

If I pull too hard, you're tugging on them.

[Brian]

The meatballs. Don't get me started. We'll get to this election business in

[Adam Carolla]

a Second, we're doing a national election show. We're talking about a local deli.

[Brian]

Well, I'm gonna open it up to American Airlines because I flew home yesterday. So I had this crazy schedule where I was. Well, first off, the only reason we went to Dallas and Austin was so I could do a car race. And then I found out on Thursday night, before it was time to squeeze the trigger on trailer, trailering a car 1400 miles there and back, that it was going to rain Saturday. But then Sunday was thunderstorms and 100% chance of rain. So at the very end, I checked one more time, I think like Thursday night. And I scrubbed the mission like NASA would scrub the mission if the weather wasn't gonna cooperate. I went to the track on Saturday, it was fine. We talked about it on the show in Austin on Saturday night. Gary put up a graphic. 90% chance of rain. My run group went off at 11:30 on Sunday. Mike and I were eating brunch. I walked outside, it was bone dry. I know. I took a picture of the goddamn ground. I took a picture of the ground. That's how mad you were. And a picture of the heavens. And I shook my fist at the heavens. And when I was getting in my plane and we were pushing off 2 o' clock flight, we left about 2:10. I was heading to New York City to do match game. Still bone dry. Now, I'm not saying it didn't rain Sunday at some point. I'm saying you would have raced all the way through Sunday. My race was at 11:30 and on Saturday was at 1:00 clock and they were dry as a bone all the way through. Dawson stayed behind. It came down about a little after two and it was torrential a little after two so I could have easily made it. But anyway.

[Gina Grad]

Well, you knew that was going to happen. You said if I don't bring the car, it'll be great.

[Brian]

I did know that.

[Adam Carolla]

Conversely, is you want to be sweating out the whole time. I mean, I guess the race probably, yes.

[Brian]

But did you want to be? I didn't. No. I didn't want to be sweating out.

[Adam Carolla]

Am I, Am I not?

[Brian]

I'll tell you, when I got up Saturday morning, it was pretty hot outside and pretty dry. It did not Sunday, it did not look like rain was coming. And all through brunch it was hot and dry. Anyway, went off, landed in New York about 8 or 8:30 or whatever it was. Got picked up and was down at the match game with young Alec Baldwin at about 8 o' clock he's funny, he's great hosting the show. Everything is fun. There's nothing better. Well, I'll give you. I'll give you a tale of two cities. You can walk onto a set and it's a lot like walking into a clubhouse when the team is winning versus a team that's in the cellar.

[Adam Carolla]

Chemistry. Feel it.

[Brian]

Baldwin's in a good mood. The producers are in a good mood. They got a bar back there that's flowing. Oh, they always want you to drink in those things. Oh, they want you to get a little naughty.

[Alec Baldwin]

The good news is you're fired.

[Brian]

Everybody's in a good mood. Nobody's feeling that weird tense thing you feel when you're under the gun. And networks have notes and we want to know everything. You know, they do a lot. Just go up there, do your thing. Hey, if screw up, do it again or whatever. Like a lot of that.

[Gina Grad]

No. Hey, thanks for coming.

[Brian]

Yeah, that.

[Adam Carolla]

Don't talk to Alec. Don't look Alec in the eye.

[Brian]

Yes, yes. None of the good Letterman stuff. I just.

[Adam Carolla]

He's on page six.

[Brian]

I just left Bill Simmons's last show on hbo.

[Adam Carolla]

Exactly the same atmosphere.

[Brian]

Any given. Any given. Wednesday was me and Jimmy were the guests on the last show. So I just went from the show that's rolling into season two or whatever it is and flying high to this will be the last show. Two different experiences, different vibe. Different vibe. Still had fun. Jimmy's funny and Bill was great and still good. And there's a sort of. Yeah, you have to have that mentality in show business. You have to sort of, whatever. Moving on. Craig, the guy who's the stage manager is the guy. Stage managed loveliness, first season and man. Lifer and man show. Yeah, it airs. It airs today. I mean, Wednesday. It's his last, last show. It's last Wednesday. So speaking of Italian food, now

[Gina Grad]

you

[Brian]

guys know my theory with the airlines, which is you're not good enough to pull this off. But it's okay because we're 35,000ft above the ground and we're going 600 miles an hour. I don't expect a super high end steakhouse kind of dining experience.

[Adam Carolla]

The margin of error, or as Matt

[Brian]

would call it, window of negligence, it's quite large indeed. Right. But okay, nobody. I'm an atheist.

[Adam Carolla]

Emergency exit of negligence is quite large.

[Brian]

I'm an atheist who's going 600 miles an hour toward my home and I am 40,000ft in the air. I get that. I don't have to have the best of the best. Their problem is they shoot for the stars, and they end up shooting themselves in the scrotum. I had. This is comedy. It follows me. One of my favorite. The simplest of all the salads to me, caprese, the big pieces of tomato with the mozzarella.

[Adam Carolla]

Barely even a sound.

[Gina Grad]

Three ingredients.

[Brian]

Yes, barely sounds. Yeah. Little balsamic vineg vinegar in there. No problemo. Anyway, they said, would you like the caprese or would you like the carpaccio again? Carpaccio. It's a. It's a bridge too far. What I got was thinly cut cooked meat. Like, not. Not carpaccio. Listen, American Airlines, you can't do it. Like, I know you want a menu. It's. It's like. It's like you're running a whorehouse, and you have the menu, and you go, would you like a PI. Swimsuit model or. Si, si, si. Swimsuit model or a Victoria's secret model? But then some are those manly choices. Some fat chick comes waddling out because you're in pahrump and you can only pay her $81 a day. So you don't get to get. But I know, but you want it. You want it to look good on the menu. But then what comes through the beaded curtain is a lot of jowl and ass.

[Gina Grad]

Lot of cooked meat, right?

[Brian]

So American Airlines, you can't pull off the carpaccio, which is. Which is awesome. When you're on the ground and you're at a nice Italian place, you got

[Adam Carolla]

the Pahrump hooker of carpaccio.

[Brian]

I got thinly sliced cooked beef, which was fine, but it's not carpaccio. Not. Not. Was. Not that. With the. Thinly. With the. Oh, especially when they get the. When they get the shaved parmesan on there. All right. Anyway, what the guy dropped off on my plate or on my table when I was flying home last night was the caprese. And there was the big, old. Big old beefsteak tomato, and then the big thing of mozzarella. And I took a bite. I got the proportions just right, but it was a big disc of what?

[Adam Carolla]

Goat cheese.

[Brian]

Goat cheese. Goat cheese. And I was like, take it back. And then he's like, okay. And I was like, you know, there's something called caprese.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, that's insulting.

[Brian]

Yes.

[Gina Grad]

That's not what that is.

[Brian]

This is our caprese. No, just do caprese, would you, please? Please? Who's in charge? I mean, is there somebody. First off, the goat cheese tastes like hell. It's Just in big chunk, thick. You guys, you can defend goat cheese all you want. Meat it out in very small doses with lots of fiber around it and whatever. Fine. But a big chunk of cold goat cheese in between. The tomato is pungent. It's horrible. It's nothing like caprese.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it's just not what it is. No, caprese is defined by mozzarella.

[Brian]

Was rigged. Just please, just do it.

[Gina Grad]

Thank you.

[Brian]

Sorry.

[Gina Grad]

I said the salad was rigged.

[Brian]

It was rigged. That's right, it is.

[Adam Carolla]

Lock them up.

[Brian]

Jesus Christ.

[Gina Grad]

That is sounds disgusting.

[Brian]

Such a sentence. And I said, just throw it away and bring me the carpaccio. And then they brought me the carpaccio. And that was his cook. But it's like, you're not good enough. The carpaccio, you're not good enough to pull off. And I get it. It's too tough. People are going to get a disease. You know what I mean? You can't have a bunch of raw finish, like beef up there. But the caprese, I mean, the mozzarella is almost bulletproof in terms of its longevity. Cut it into a thick slab, leave it out all day. Doesn't matter. Just put in the fridge. It's always there. It's always ready to go.

[Gina Grad]

It's hearty cheese, keeps it shaky.

[Brian]

Yes, yes. Now goat cheese, it's rough, man. What is that?

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know. There's got to be a logical explanation for that stupidity. Like it keeps better or it lasts longer in the fridge or something.

[Gina Grad]

Is goat milk cheaper? Because plane airlines do seem to sub it out.

[Brian]

What they're trying to do is. This is our take. This is our take. This is our take on that. You know, that boring old thing that you love so much in order they

[Adam Carolla]

can't get enough of. You actually ordered it proactively.

[Brian]

Right. And one of the few things that can't really F up on an airplane, Just chunks of tomato and a big old chunk of mozzarella. Well, they did anyway.

[Alec Baldwin]

Sorry.

[Brian]

I'm gonna put myself in a better mood. Blue apron. Less than 10 bucks per meal.

[Gina Grad]

They would never do that.

[Adam Carolla]

They wouldn't do their version.

[Brian]

No seasonal recipes, pre portioned, by the way. Ingredients, you cook in 40 minutes or less. Fresh, high quality ingredients. Artisanal suppliers, family farms, fisheries and ranches. New recipes created each week and none of them get repeated within a year. Although I'd be fine with that this month. Pan seared goat cheese.

[Alec Baldwin]

What?

[Brian]

Pan seared chicken with roasted fall vegetables. And they have delivery options to fit your needs. So no weekly commitment. You just get the deliveries you want. Check out this week's menu. Get three free meals. That's right, three meals. Free and free shipping. Go to blueapron.com, adam. That's blueapron.com get the three free meals. Blue apron, baby. All right, so as it stands now, it is fairly well knotted up in terms of the Electoral College. I think Hillary's a little bit ahead at this point.

[Adam Carolla]

So everything everyone knows now, who's listening, we are just learning in real time, Right?

[Gina Grad]

And I just got a Fox News update saying Clinton takes New York, Trump wins Texas.

[Brian]

So I'm just assuming that Hillary's going to win. I always just sort of have. And then betting markets would agree, says Hillary 97. Trump won 23 at the moment, but

[Gina Grad]

polls are still good.

[Brian]

We'll see what happens with that. You know, for me, it's a bigger picture thing, which is they're not going to do anything for you. Now, here's the thing. If there was somebody in there who just went, I'm just gonna blow up the whole irs. I'm gonna change that whole tax code. We're gonna do it on a postcard. Like they all claim we're gonna do that, and we'll lower corporate taxes and we'll get a bunch of people to come back to the United States and pay their taxes. Or that. I'm all ears. All the social stuff that they're gonna do, like we're gonna give women a fighting chance again, or the stuff, the platitude stuff that I. You. It's hard to even define exactly what it means that no one will do anything for you about whatever group you're in.

[Adam Carolla]

They never made the whole abortion. That's not rolling back. It's just standing a position and getting people. They're on your side or.

[Brian]

But whatever group, whether you're Latino or gay or straight or whatever your group is, do not expect your group. Look, black president eight years. How are the black folks doing? I don't know if they're doing better. I think they're doing worse. They're not doing any different. That's my whole point. Everyone. If we could just get one of me, which is a racist thought, but if we could just get one of me into this office, this position of power, then somehow something would change. It's basically, you look at life as a huge nightclub, and if we could just get a bouncer who I went to high school with, then I could get in. Except for the problem is you never get into the Club you're not in. Just you go. But we look the same. And remember, we were Ms. Hector's class together for homeroom. It's like, no, doesn't work. I don't know why. I don't know why we think it works, and I don't know why they're able to pedal it to the people that thinks it works, but it's not. So you're free to take this year. I would take this year and go. Now, let's just say no politician was doing anything for me. I was just gonna steer my ship, do it myself.

[Adam Carolla]

That'd be nice.

[Brian]

You could do it. I mean, we could do it. I think the people that are listening could do it. Nothing's really gonna affect you as much as we like to talk about it. And I don't know that any either candidate's gonna get anything done.

[Gina Grad]

Well, and this is both sides, right? People are saying, trump looks like me. Hillary has the same parts as I do. It's both sides.

[Brian]

Sure. Yes. No, the Hillary side plays to the I'm going to do something for the single mom. I'm going to do something the Hispanic one. The other side is I'm going to lower taxes and build a wall which plays to things. The guys who want walls and taxes, but still, nobody's going to do anything for you. And I wish we could go ahead and get that message across. And then if and when Hillary's elected, we will look forward to the ratcheting up of the female and the oppression of the female. Whatever. It'll be the same thing with Obama and the black community, just more, we're not out of the woods yet. Just because we have a black president doesn't mean there's not systemic racism. By the way, did we know what systemic racism was before Obama took office?

[Adam Carolla]

It didn't exist.

[Brian]

I mean, not verbally. I mean, I never heard about it.

[Gina Grad]

You'd have to Google it.

[Brian]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

It wasn't a buzz phrase, a catchphrase.

[Brian]

All right, so now we elect through popular vote two terms of our first black president, and now we introduce something called systemic racism at the same time it sat dormant for many years, and then we elected a black president, and now we have systemic racism that we all. That was always there. We just never addressed it.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it became much more of a hot topic.

[Brian]

Right. So there will be that then when Hillary gets in.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah.

[Brian]

I don't know exactly how it'll manifest itself. It'll be about the same as Obama. It'll start off, we're not Done yet. Then it'll ratchet up as she's preparing to leave.

[Gina Grad]

This is sort of an existential question that I just thought of, so it might not.

[Brian]

Sexism.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, goody, that's next. So with whatever person you identify with, who becomes the next leader of the country, can you be the victim and the bully at the same time? I guess so.

[Brian]

What do you mean?

[Gina Grad]

Because, Gary, you might have to help me with this one because you nodded, but say Hillary gets elected and you said women say, well, now all of a sudden we're not getting the fair shake you think we are. But then it's also the bully mentality of a, we're in charge now, so screw you. So was that the same. Is that equivalent to what you think happened with Obama?

[Brian]

I think Obama.

[Gina Grad]

And could happen with Trump easily.

[Brian]

I think Obama. I think Obama sort of realized that he has to walk a pretty fine line between his kind of constituency and what he really knows. He really knows that the answer is families. And there's. Look, there's tons and tons and tons of data that just says when the family breaks apart, everything goes with it. Everything. Education, the schooling.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm not saying not to acknowledge it,

[Brian]

except for he doesn't really.

[Adam Carolla]

It's not politically incorrect for you?

[Brian]

Yeah, it's not that it's not been. You know, people say to me, you know, David Wilde, go, he brought it up, you know, this thing or that thing. Yeah. But he also does a one hour open forum on race and policing and it never comes up. So he's gotta walk this sort of fine line between dancing with who brung him and keeping it real. And there's a party line. I think he's just an incredibly skilled, sort of tactical, manipulative, just sort of. He's a politician. What he is is he's a perfect politician in that he's a politician that doesn't look like a politician, feels like an everyman, doesn't sound like a politician,

[Gina Grad]

charms the pants right off you.

[Brian]

Charms everybody. And doesn't really get that much done. But we're in love with him, so that's his legacy. But I'm saying for those who are in the black community or the any community, minority community or whatever community who thought he was gonna do something for you. Well, go ahead and tell me where you are now versus where you were then and for anyone who's in the LGBT Y BFD community, you tell me

[Gina Grad]

it is a big effing deal how

[Brian]

much further you're along when Hillary takes over and what she's gonna do for you.

[Adam Carolla]

The BFT is Big Female Dong.

[Brian]

That's right.

[Adam Carolla]

That's what it stands for.

[Brian]

Right. Look, the bottom line is, don't ever get into that mode. I mean, I was just, you know, I just did Bill Simmons shows as a Jimmy and Bill and myself. And we're all sitting there, and none of us came out to this town. Jimmy and Bill came out here. Boston, I think Jimmy was in Arizona or Vegas. Nobody came here with headshots, sliding them under doors, waiting at Schwab's to be discovered. None of those wildly both insanely successful guys. And I guess the three of us very successful guys, no one even went on auditions, really. Everybody just went out and created their own network, their own brand, their own platform. There were things to do and meetings to have and all that kind of stuff, but nobody just went, there's my resume. Here's my headshot. It's stapled to the back. Here you go. I'll put it in this. I'll put it in this metal basket here with all the other ones.

[Gina Grad]

Tape it under your serving tray.

[Brian]

Here's my phone number. And it's all who you know. And I hope this casting director does me solid. I knew almost instantaneously, because of my horrible family, that nobody was gonna do anything for me. That my mindset was, if your own family won't do anything for you, then who's going to do something for you?

[Adam Carolla]

Literally, in a sad way, it's a good lesson to learn. Early point.

[Brian]

It is in a depressing way, and it's not totally accurate. Turns out guys like Jimmy were willing to do a lot for me. But in my mind, the other mindset, my mindset, my fragile, scarred little psyche. I'm 22, 23, and I'm going, well, if the two people that hatched me don't care, then how is that casting guy gonna care? Or that anybody gonna care? And I immediately had it in my head that I'm just gonna have to go out and make my own thing. Cause it's never gonna come down to, well, it's a coin toss. And we like him, or we like your look or we like your whatever. You're friends with this guy. He got you into that. Do that same thing with politicians. I know everyone's going nuts. I want to get this person in. I want to get that person in. I'm gonna get this thing passed. I want that thing passed. Don't get caught up in that. You can have your hopes and wishes, but it's the wrong Mode to be in. They're not gonna do anything. They can't do anything.

[Adam Carolla]

Best case scenario, they'll lay out the. You know what I mean? They'll set the table for, like, you to make your own meal. You know what I mean? That's the best case scenario. Best you can hope for. It's like, oh, no, I have this.

[Brian]

Setting the table is really just stopping the ISIS from getting their hands on a Russian suitcase bomb and lighting it off in your neighborhood. Just. That's about as much setting the table as they can do. Simply just kind of getting out of the way and letting you do your thing. Extreme example, yes, exactly the same. But they're not going to set any tables. They're just going to walk away from the table and you can go set it any way you want. I wish there was more. I wish there was more that they would do, but they don't. That being said, when we just drove all the way through Texas, there's a project going everywhere all the time, lots of development. That's a state that's figured something out. I wish California would tear a page out of their playbook. All right, so we will keep people posted. Gary, tell us if anything's going on.

[Adam Carolla]

Nothing crazy just yet. A lot of it's pretty much what they projected.

[Brian]

We're still waiting on stuff from California.

[Adam Carolla]

It looks like marijuana is going to

[Brian]

pass in most of the states that it's up on the ballot for grand. Nothing crazy yet, but we're watching very carefully. All right, so we got that Match Game.

[Gina Grad]

Did you watch it? Its first go around. Because I love that show.

[Brian]

I watch. I did watch it.

[Gina Grad]

When Paul does Snatch Game on Drag Race.

[Justin Long]

Stop it.

[Brian]

I watched pieces of it. Baldwin's great. He's having fun. He's just a force of nature, that guy. They put me in the sort of the lead chair for all the three games or six games that I played. So Baldwin got to come sort of lean over and screw around with me a lot, which was. Which was fun.

[Adam Carolla]

Was it mentally taxing? I mean, like doing that many. You're doing a game show.

[Brian]

3.

[Adam Carolla]

How many episodes?

[Brian]

You gotta understand with me. I don't know how to spell.

[Adam Carolla]

So the answer is yes.

[Brian]

And my penmanship is horrible.

[Justin Long]

That's right.

[Brian]

I spelled bananas. B, A, N, N, A, S A, N, A, Whatever. You know why? Because it was a. Christie Brinkley was there.

[Alec Baldwin]

Yes.

[Brian]

And she said she must have cheered in high school or something because she was like. There was a cheer. Go bananas. B, A, N, A, N, A S. And I literally, I was sitting there trying to spell bananas from the cheer. Like I spell Saturday night. Saturday night from Basin Roller Rollers. Not the deli.

[Alec Baldwin]

Nope.

[Brian]

And I was like going, you know what it is, is you have to lock it in and they're waiting on you. You know, they go, you know, Gertrude, Gertrude, the green grocer said this time no oranges. She's going for blank. And then you're sitting there and they're going. And then you're hearing the other people locking their thing in. And now, now you're back in junior high and you're standing at the chalkboard and your hands spell girls quivering.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Brian]

And I'm like, go bananas. B, A N A N N A N N N banana. B, Go. But I can't even write go in front of bananas.

[Adam Carolla]

Adam, you answered rock in the usa.

[Brian]

That's right. And I got that stupid whole notes song running through my head. Their adult education or whatever the hell it is. M E T H O D O. The method of. Right. And I'm like, Put extra and in there. That was embarrassing. They're little things like you get up in your head, like real quick. Like, slippery, slippery, slippery. Two P's? Yeah, two P's. Two Ps. I think two P's. Pretty sure two P's. Well, wait a minute. I never wrote. I never write slip. I've never really written slippery.

[Gina Grad]

Haven't you seen a Bon Jovi album?

[Brian]

But I was gonna say that I think there's two Ps, but there's a lot of that. No, when you can't spell and you're left handed. So you have to do a thing where I have to hold the thing.

[Adam Carolla]

Like there's a degree of physical difficulty,

[Brian]

like a caveman holding a chisel trying to make a wheel. Like, you can't. You don't. You don't realize that you plant your hand. You sort of do a thing where you do. You plant your hand. So I have to like, do the. Hold the thing up. And Baldwin was making fun of my chicken scratch and everyone was making fun of my spelling and it was so, so sad. I think I wrote hoes like, like, like Snoop Dogg, like in different area codes. Got his hoes. Yeah, but I put an E in there. Yeah, it's not a word. I know. I don't write. I don't. I've never written hoe. I didn't even read ho. I'd hear it in a song like garden Hoe or. No, I was trying to say hoe. But it sounds like I wrote it like garden hoe. But I was trying to think like, you know, my bitches work, right?

[Gina Grad]

We both work in the backyard.

[Brian]

Tell that to one Anagastire, who is making fun of me for my spelling. But anyway, certain point, I asked her how to spell bitch.

[Adam Carolla]

Does she know?

[Brian]

So what happens is, it happened to me a couple games where you get to the end and the person picks you, you know, to play with. And it's always a little flattering, but then there's pressure because they tell, you know, they go, you win that $25,000, what are you gonna. What are you gonna do with it? And I go, I wanna put a pool in my backyard so that my kids and myself and we can all, you know, sit in the backyard for the summer and enjoy ourselves and blah, blah, blah. And you go, God, there's a lot of money to them, and it's a pool or whatever. And all of a sudden you're. And so what happens is they go. They'll do like, you better watch your blank. You know what I mean? And you'll think to yourself, you better watch your mouth. And then you'll, like, look up and all the other people things. It's like. Like, you better watch your step. You better watch your back. And you're like, oh, wait a minute. Which. Oh. And then they start yelling at you like the celebrities, like, don't do yours. We all agreed to this. And now you're in this weird place where it's like, the person's over there and this is the most money they're gonna see in a long time. And you had this instinct, you know, you had an instinct of like, oh, you just wrote it down, but now you got other people around you going, hey, how about that, though, right?

[Adam Carolla]

That's the conventional wisdom.

[Brian]

Yeah, they say that, but. And then when it does work out, you go, see? But it doesn't work out a lot. And you don't go, see. Never trust my gut.

[Adam Carolla]

That's what I get.

[Brian]

So half of Ohio is counted. Trump holds a seven point lead.

[Adam Carolla]

Seven points.

[Brian]

The must win state for Trump. So Gary catches us up. Anyway, it's fun because except for that part where you have that weird brain lock every once in a while. And they're going, we're waiting for Adam to lock in. And you're like, I can't spell, and I've had a brain fart. I want you to write stuff down. Also, it's an interesting thing because you can't think. Like, you. You have to Think like the woman of color who works at the nursing institute that you're playing with. You do like, all right, I won't give away too much. Cause they'll probably get pissed off at me. But it's like Billy Ray Cyrus is getting old now. Instead of an achy breaky heart, he's got an achy breaky. And I'm like, well, hip.

[Adam Carolla]

Sure.

[Brian]

Because it's the H and the thing. Well, that's me. I do this for a living. Makes sense to me. It doesn't make sense necessarily to the nurse lady. She does work in a nursing home sitting over there. You see what I'm saying?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Put yourself in their mindset.

[Brian]

It's interesting because you'll do the most clever answer, sort of for you.

[Gina Grad]

Right.

[Brian]

But she may not have heard of a merkin.

[Adam Carolla]

For example.

[Brian]

For example. Why would she have an AP for an example? No, that was another question.

[Gina Grad]

Anyway, it might have been too hip for the room.

[Brian]

You're right. It's fast, it's fun. Baldwin's having the time of his life.

[Gina Grad]

And when can we look forward to that?

[Brian]

I had a funny thing with Matt Fondelier, who I'm constantly trying to teach how to think. I said, because once you do this stuff, you start knowing this stuff. Window of negligence. I said, matt, you know, earlier in the week I said, I'm doing three shows, which is actually six shows, two per one hour episodes. Yeah. I said, I bet they're going to want me to bring three different changes of shirts because we're sitting down. But the question is, do I need the whole thing or are we going to stand up or does it make it. I just wear the same jeans and T shirts and swap out the top? And he's like, I don't know. And I said, well, don't worry. They're gonna send a thing that says bring shirts. So then they said, some point. They said, bring a change of. And they said, three summer shirts. And then I started talking to Matt, and Matt's like, whoa, we wanna get a plug for chassis and stuff like that. And I said, sweetie. They said, summer shirts. Which means these things ain't airing in January. We don't have a bunch of people wearing, you know, a bunch of Jimmy Buffett shirts in there when it's snowing outside. They'll save them for the. So we tried to kind of figure it out. And we figured out that some are going to air, I think, in maybe February, and some will air in over the summertime. So we'll figure that we'll get that figured out.

[Gina Grad]

Sprinkle them through the year.

[Brian]

We'll sprinkle them through the year. Let's see. There's a question for me about the $2 cigarette tax in California. John from Fresno. John. Yeah. What's going on, man? Just wanted to know about what you thought about that cigarette tax. I have, you know, semi mixed feelings about, you know, these kinds of syntaxes. Is that what they call them?

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, they do.

[Brian]

Because that also means something. Yes, but two words. I feel like, damn, thank God I didn't have to write that down. So bananas, that syntax.

[Gina Grad]

D A, X, E, A.

[Brian]

Here's my thing. Getting people not to do stuff because it's too expensive. They say, like when the price of gas goes up, people take to their bicycles and stuff. It's like, no, they don't. Not here. When I was poor and gas was expensive, I drove just as much as I drive now. I mean, maybe save the trip to the Grand Canyon or something, but I mean, everyone has to go to work. They get in their car, you know, I don't like. And we don't want people to smoke. I get it. But we don't want people to do a lot. I mean, we don't want people to eat junk food, but junk food just keeps getting cheaper and cheaper and cheaper with a 16 ounce soda. I mean, I want us to police ourselves. Like, I don't want my kids to not smoke because they don't have $9. I want them to not smoke because they're not smokers. You know what I mean? And I don't want them, oh, they can't drink or they can't go to Vegas or they can't get a chili dog. Cause I can't afford it. Or I can't afford a 16 ounce soda. Like what? You tell me the. On the online porn subscription or whatever it is that we don't like pricing it out of your bracket. Again with drugs. If you really want it, you go find it.

[Gina Grad]

Well, and that's the thing. You're talking about something that people are addicted to. Do you really think $2 is gonna stand in the way of the thing that they need because they're addicted to it?

[Brian]

They'll do a thing and it makes sense. They go, hey, in places where cigarettes are $11 a pack, there's less smoking than where it's, you know, in one of the Carolinas where it's $4 a pack. And yeah, I get it. You could do that about baked potatoes. You know, you could really say, look, they're 10 bucks over here and they're 3 bucks over there and they eat a little less of them over here and they have a little more of them over there. Like avocados. Yeah, I get it. Like, it makes sense, but it's not really a great policy, which is, we don't like this. We're not gonna make it illegal. We're just gonna make it really expensive and you'll still do it. And then we'll claim that the extra money is going somewhere, but it never really seems to find its way to wherever it is. All the stuff that's like, all the stuff in California where it's like, hey, this is going to the schools. It's going to pay teachers pensions. It's not going to buying materials for the kids. It's going back into the union pot. John. So no. Yes. John. I don't like it. Here's what I would like. I would like them to have just a sort of whatever the fair market was for cigarettes, just like gas, just like booze, just like health food. And then everybody be sort of educated as to what was involved with this. Again, there's nothing arguably you can go to. We talk about all the time. You go to corner a.m. p.m. And get three loaded chili dogs with, you know, jacked up with cheese that's injected into and stuff. For a buck 99, you can get three of them. There's nothing that stops you from doing that. Nothing but quiet dignity and a little sense of your own self preservation. Yeah, well, look, we don't. You want to put a gallon of gas in your very safe Subaru and this guy wants to put a gallon of gas in his Harley Davidson. Well, one's a very dangerous mode of transportation. The other's a very safe mode of transportation. A gallon of gas is the same. We don't charge him an extra 8 bucks a gallon so that he can gas up his Harley. Thank you, John. No, I'm not. I get where everyone's heart is at. I'm not a big fan. And it never really does anything. And smoking is way less popular now than it was in the 50s because we've made it less popular.

[Gina Grad]

There's a warning before a lot of movies that said you're gonna see smoking.

[Adam Carolla]

That's the news.

[Brian]

Yeah, we did with smoking the opposite of what we did with gay marriage. You know, 20 years ago it was like smoking or 30 years ago, 50 years ago smoking. So what? Who cares? Leave him alone. Whatever. We made it really unpopular. You can't go somewhere and Light up a cigarette without somebody giving you a look. So we did that with gay marriage 20 years ago. It's like, what, now? They don't need to get married? And now it's like, oh, of course, yeah, sure, why not? They're Americans, aren't they? So it's a campaign. It's a campaign. But it's not that we charge less for gay marriage licenses or anything. It's just, it's a social campaign, which is if you don't like something or something is bad or something harms children or whatever, don't make people pay. Make them sort of pay the stigma tax, which is, geez, there's nowhere you can smoke anymore or it's frowned upon or you couldn't show up to a PTA meeting and stand outside of the classroom and light up. I couldn't go to my school and light a cigarette even if I stood just out front on the lawn. You'd be considered pariah.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah.

[Brian]

So that's what we've done. So do that. Stop charging for everything and stop taxing. It's always, by the way, it's always insanely convenient when the government does that. Well, you know, hey, you love kids. Yeah, sure.

[Adam Carolla]

Who doesn't?

[Brian]

Yeah, you hate lung cancer.

[Adam Carolla]

Absolutely.

[Brian]

Give us some money. Yeah, sounds fair. It's the taxing things. The whole regulation stuff and the whole taxing stuff bothers me because it stops people from thinking it's just, oh, let the government handle it. Let them tax it, Let them take the money, let them fix the schools. No, schools get fixed by parents that are together and raise their kids and focus on education. And if you want people not to smoke, well, raising a kid, teaching that child. Statistically, I believe I don't have the numbers in front of me. But a child with two parents who don't smoke, raised in a smoke free environment and loved and nurtured, has a much less likelihood of chance of smoking than one that was sort of kicked to the curb and had to fend for themselves at 14.

[Gina Grad]

So how soon before marijuana becomes tobacco in this sense, with the taxing and the overly regulated to the point where it takes all the fun out of it.

[Brian]

It's wherever the money. Wherever the money is. All right, we got another question. But first I'll tell you about TrueCar. Oh, here's a way we can save some money. Pricing info, it's great, but what about the buying experience? How about we get a better buying experience? How about we go to TrueCar, enjoy a faster process, find the car you [e-mail] or you can use the app, find out what everyone paid in your neighborhood, print the guaranteed savings certificate and connect with a local dealer and then just go in, hand them the certificate, hammer it, drive home with your new car, baby. Over 2 million cars have been sold this way. 11,000 TrueCar certified dealers nationwide. TrueCar users save an average of 3279 bucks off MSRP. Buy now and let's get it new or let's get it used one way or the other. TrueCar.com Download the TrueCar app tr.com alright, so with 94% counted, Trump holds a 2.5 lead in the important state of Florida. This is all so says Gary.

[Adam Carolla]

It's a must win.

[Brian]

With 77 counted in Virginia, Trump holds a 2 point lead in Virginia. Clinton wins Connecticut, Trump wins Vinnie Tortorich's home state of Louisiana.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, wow.

[Brian]

Yeah. All right. And we all lose in the Vinnie Tortorich game because Mike brought a whole bunch of pizzas over here today.

[Gina Grad]

By the way, shirtless picture of Mike August on the Internet with a kettlebell.

[Adam Carolla]

I'll be right back.

[Brian]

Did not.

[Gina Grad]

It was next to the request for pizza.

[Brian]

Did not see that.

[Gina Grad]

Looking pretty good, Mike.

[Brian]

He's a sturdy man. Dad's football coach. All right, we'll take one more question here. Jeff. 53, Pennsylvania. Jeff. Hey, Ace, how you doing? Good, man. Hey, first time, long, long time with her. First time caller. Sorry about that. Fox News has got me all wrought up here. Listen, think it's gonna be close. Went to the polls today, very long lines. Pennsylvania is kind of an interesting state cause it's really like two big cities with Alabama in between Philly and Pittsburgh. Yeah, it's interesting. Yeah, it's a toss up. Just kind of, you know, hey, I agree with you politically on everything you say. I think the country just needs to kind of pick itself up by the bootstraps. But one of the things I'm just curious about your views on is you think any of these guys has a better plan for the economy than the other? I mean, let's discuss.

[Adam Carolla]

I take my answer off the air.

[Brian]

I live in California. I just got back from Texas. I dropped Nick off in the hellhole he calls an apartment last night about 12:30. It's like great news. Like Nick picked me up at the airport at 12:30 last night. Bad news is I'm driving him to his house now. See, I don't care how. It's not a matter of douche etude. Nick said, I'll drive you Home to La Canada, and then I'll Uber back to my place in Hollywood. And I was like, I can't have that. Like, that's a waste of cosmic energy to me. I don't care if you got a free Uber ride. It doesn't matter. But unfortunately, it means now I don't get to go straight home. I get to go see what Melrose and Western and look like at 1am Charming. It's a I and I. You. You forget. There's a few things. Few things you forget. I drove over to, you know, I used to shoot down on Hollywood Center Studios down on Highland and Santa Monica or wherever it was. And it's been a while. I haven't. I try not to get over in that neck of the woods that often. I drove over to Bill Simmons's show today, and I drove down Forest Lawn Drive and I saw the boxes, the stacks and stacks of flower boxes that all the illegals are using. And it's a perfect metaphor for our government not working, which is along Force Lawn Drive, there's a mortuary and illegals have decided to set up and sell flowers there because they can go down, get them at the flower mart and then set up a shop, a cardboard shop, and sell them there on your

[Gina Grad]

way to pay your respects.

[Brian]

On your way to pay your respects, you can pay 30% less and get some flowers from the illegal alien that's selling them there. Now, we don't recognize them as a government, so we don't put a trash can there. So the boxes and boxes and boxes of the spent. Now, I'm not saying they're bad people. I bet they would throw away their boxes if we gave them somewhere to throw away their boxes. But they're not gonna tote their spent flower boxes back to the apartment they're living in and sunlit. So all along this beautiful stretch of very expensive real estate with Nana and Papa up in the hills there buried, is littered with cardboard boxes. Just garbage everywhere. Because we don't. We don't really act like. Like we don't acknowledge things and then act upon them. It'd be like going, aids, aids, schmaidz, there's no aids. And then going, well, don't you want to give condoms and clean needles out to junk? No, I told you, Aid, schmaidz. Moving on.

[Gina Grad]

Everything's fine.

[Brian]

Everything's fine. I have seen what a dump, Louisiana has turned into and how bad, how everyone has fled to Texas. Okay, we were talking about that. Yeah, Texas. All you see is projects and building and by the way, you know, we're awesome. We ate at a diner. Mike and I ate at a brunch place. I really kid you not. I mean somebody's gotta get Mike August over here if he's in the next room. He reached out to Jimmy to ask him some brunch places that we could eat at in August. Split at brunch places we could eat at in Austin. In 7 minutes he emailed him back 13 places with 13 links and comments on all of them. That's just who Jimmy is.

[Gina Grad]

Not a state he's from, by the way.

[Brian]

No, he just knows. No, he's brought the show there a couple of times. So I do live in California and I see all what we used to have Toyota, we used to have Nissan, all the big aerospace and all defense stuff, I've seen it all just pack up and leave. So I see a microcosm of when Trump says our corporate taxes are too high. All these companies go offshore. I wanna track them back by lowering the corporate taxes. And I think to myself, well, I don't know anything about really corporate tax law, but I do live in California and I've seen a miniature version of this with everyone going to Texas and I see the places booming over there.

[Adam Carolla]

Not so miniature version.

[Brian]

All the building, just the shovel. You wanna talk about shovel ready jobs, you drive along the freeway, there's a project going all everywhere. The amount of trucks I passed that were just carrying, if you notice in Texas, the way they build, you guys will sort of picture this. When I paint this vivid picture, the way they do their overpasses for their highways and stuff, they don't do the poured in place concrete formed kind of ones. They have these big long concrete pillars that they lay down sort of like matchsticks. They just lay them over the top, they put the verticals and then they lay these big formed pillars. It's probably don't have to deal with earthquakes as much and whatever. I don't know how many flatbed trucks I saw going down the highway with one of these big long 80 footers just hanging off the back of it. Meaning more progress, more construction, more building. Something they're doing, they're doing right. When I go and I go to Canada and I see Sam Jackson in the room next to mine and he's shooting over there and Canada and he's supposed to be shooting in Chicago, but they can't pay the taxes in Chicago. I'm a lay person, but I go Samuel L. Jackson, the most progressive liberal who lives in Beverly Hills who's shooting a movie is supposed to take place in Chicago is with me.

[Adam Carolla]

Not by choice.

[Brian]

Not by choice. It's snowing outside. It's the. What the hell theater we play. Gary, you weren't with us, but it was that the ones in Bum Bum F out there. Oh, come on. Oh, like Oxford's? No. I mean no. Canada. Big deep. Give me one second. Big deep Canada playing like the Burton Cummings Theater over there. But nobody wants to be there. Nobody wants to be there in the winter. And certainly not Samuel L. Jackson, but he's so. Okay, I'm not a tax attorney, but I do see that corporations, people, we see people, we talk to plenty of people. This move to move. No state taxes, you know, Move, move to. Yeah. Winnipeg.

[Alec Baldwin]

Winnipeg.

[Brian]

A guy wants to be in Winnipeg in January? Hell no, no, look, I see it.

[Adam Carolla]

Thanks, Jeff.

[Justin Long]

Yep.

[Brian]

Thank you, Jeff. I'll be the racist here, please. It's anecdotal, but when I hear any politician say I wanna lower the corporate taxes and I wanna incentivize these companies to come back and stay here and get their tax money here instead of offshore. I like the way it sounds. You may tell me it's impossible. You may tell me why it's not gonna work. You may be right. I do like that part. The part where Hillary Clinton says I'm just gonna get these guys to pay their fair share and then we're gonna fix the school system. I don't listen to that because she a. I do pay my fair share and so does everyone else I know who's in a high tax bracket. She's talking about these companies. You're not gonna get them to pay their fair share. You're gonna entice them to pay their fair share. You can't get Apple to pay their fair share. They're not here.

[Gina Grad]

They're not here.

[Brian]

Get them, entice them back and get them to pay their fair share. Fine. This thing of like I'm gonna take everyone who makes more than 250 grand a year, tax the hell out of them and kick the money down to. I don't like any of that. And the reason I don't like this is cuz it doesn't work. It never has. And who's Hillary Clinton? Does she have a rich history of this? I feel like she's making her own money out there. I don't know that she's that interested in that middle class.

[Adam Carolla]

It helps her feel politically.

[Gina Grad]

Of course she doesn't give speeches on a voluntary basis, so I would like,

[Brian]

and look, I really would like. And I don't want it in the form of Trump, I just want it in the form of somebody who can just go, look, here's what works, here's what doesn't work. I don't using loosely my sort of California, Texas thing. And attract people. Let's make the United States, California. Let's just attract people back over this way. Don't ask them to do the right thing. Don't yell at them. They have to pay their fair share. Attract them. We talk about all the time,

[Justin Long]

we

[Brian]

talk about the runaway production. So what's the mayor of Los Angeles say? Well, we're gonna get them back. And the people that do, the Sam Jacksons of the world, they go, I don't want to go to Winnipeg and hang out with Corolla and August and January, I don't wanna go there. I live in Beverly Hills. Wouldn't it be great to sleep in your own bed at night? So runaway production, okay, L.A. gets super greedy. It splits and we get no tax revenues. Then we realize we screwed up. Well, here's the good news. All the people that are running away would like to stay. They'd like to stay and pay you taxes. Problem is, they don't wanna stay and pay 40%, an insane amount. They'll stay and pay 15%, maybe 18. Let's work it out. Because the good news is you want tax money, right?

[Gina Grad]

Right.

[Brian]

You want to sleep in your own bed, right, Sammy?

[Adam Carolla]

Sounds great.

[Brian]

All right. Didn't sound black enough, but what's in your wallet? All right, so let's see if we can hammer this out. That's how I'd like to treat, I guess, the United States versus the rest of the world in terms of the economy.

[Gina Grad]

And by the way, we're not gonna get them to stay by putting condoms on them. Or is that a different proposition?

[Brian]

I think that may be different, Jeff. Oh, yeah, yeah. Still there. Yeah. We good? Yeah. Absolutely. Hey, I really appreciate it. It's going to be close. Thanks for making election night fun. Thank you, buddy. Look forward to this. Sipping the scotch in your honor. Yeah, man. I hope to talk to you guys again. Bob, congratulations on the little girl too.

[Adam Carolla]

Thanks, man. Sit home screaming at my wife right now.

[Brian]

I. Yeah, nothing better than that. Sipping the scotch. Had a crazy day. The bartender was sitting there, boy in the green room, big old bartender, big old bar filled with everything. Asking after each show. Yeah, yeah. Want something? Want something? I've been up since seven. That morning I had a long. But I said, now but when we're done. Oh, we're done. It's on. Because all I got is I'm in the middle of Manhattan, I got an hour and 10 minute town car ride to an airport and then a six hour flight before I get back. So don't worry when we're done.

[Adam Carolla]

Speaking of buying drinks, did you get to enjoy yourself at the after party with the Chive or did you first took off more or less right afterwards?

[Brian]

Yeah, one upstairs.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, that's right. You went upstairs.

[Brian]

I went upstairs and hung out for a little while. Took a lot of pictures, Did a lot of that. Got this one I haven't got in a while. Last one. Last one for you, not for me. Last one. I knew at the. I had a good time at the Chive guys after party. Everyone was cool and everything, but it was like, people were great, but for me it was like, oh, that was just a little bit. I realize it's just. I just want to kick back, watch old Sports center, you know what I mean?

[Adam Carolla]

People were on about Eugenie. People were buying me beers. And it felt weird because there were like female fans of the show. Like, can I buy you a beer?

[Gina Grad]

And I was like, you can't accept that, Brian.

[Adam Carolla]

I did, but I was like, should it be the other way around? Like my whole life been buying beers for girls.

[Gina Grad]

Well, I actually had a totally different night after the after party, which was great and a lot of fun. A bunch of fans took me to this awesome, like, hot dog place called Frank's and I bought everybody a late night dinner. It was super, super fun. Fun.

[Brian]

Oh, really?

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, it was great.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, she expensed it.

[Alec Baldwin]

No, it's good.

[Gina Grad]

It was awesome. I got the dog. They're like gourmet.

[Adam Carolla]

Like, I saw that. Crazy.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, like duck and fig or, you know, pork and, you know, kangaroo and like. Yes, it was, it was a lot of fun.

[Brian]

How they do the wieners. They, they grill them.

[Gina Grad]

I don't.

[Brian]

They, they steam them.

[Gina Grad]

Had a lot of snap to them.

[Brian]

That's what you want.

[Adam Carolla]

Sausage. They probably grilled them, right?

[Brian]

You want the snap?

[Gina Grad]

I'm not sure, but they were delicious.

[Brian]

Casing the snap and then that juice. All right. Speaking of good draft kings this week, world's largest MMA event, Madsen Square Garden. That's one of those things too. It's just what we talked about. New York was like, not for us. We do Hamilton here. We don't have guys fight in a cage. And $200 billion in a few thousand countries and a thousand cities later, they went, I guess we'll take a little of that action. Msg, they did a very New York

[Adam Carolla]

thing where it's like super expensive.

[Brian]

You have to take out a dollar

[Adam Carolla]

insurance policy on every fighter so only

[Brian]

like the really big promotions can afford it. I'm just saying maybe I don't want to politicize my DraftKings here, but this is another example of could you just get out of the way and let Dana White and company handle it? I think they know what they're.

[Gina Grad]

I think they've done this before.

[Brian]

New York. Let Dana White do what he does. Don't worry, he doesn't rip us off or he won't be in business and we'll figure out and then we'll come see it. You just have the venue. Don't over regulate. Biggest gate in the history of the UFC. So DraftKings, you want to get in on some of that MMA action, you do it at DraftKings. It's a destination for fantasy sports. You can win huge cash prizes every time you play. This weekend you can square off against other MMA fans and play for your share of over 300,000 prizes. Just pick six fighters, stay under the salary cap and rack up the points based on how your team performs. There's like a team of fighters anyway. Every significant strike, takedown, submission, knockout brings you closer to a payday. It's DraftKings, Dawson. Hurry to DraftKings.com now to choose your fighters. And you could seriously cash in this Saturday night. Use Code Adam and play for free with your first deposit. That's Code Adam and play for free for your shot at over $300,000. Hidden prizes [e-mail] DraftKings.com eligibility restrictions may apply. See website for details. All right, we're going to take a quick break. We'll be back with updates after this. All right, back with the big election show. So the electoral college 134 to 104 Trump leads. This is as of 7pm That's Pacific time on a Tuesday night. Republicans retain the House. Trump 10 point lead in Ohio, 4 point lead in Florida, 20 point lead in Georgia, 5 point lead in Michigan and Trump a 0.8 lead in New Hampshire. So we'll figure this out. Feels closer than I thought it was going to be. I thought every election or at least, at least in my recollection. Recollection. Good one, Ace. Man, if few days out somebody's four points up, they just sort of win by five. Like it's sort of how it now. I don't know, and I don't know if you guys think this way, but is Trump the wild card? Because he's Trump. There wasn't a.

[Adam Carolla]

So far. Yes, yes.

[Brian]

I'll tell you an example. There was. And I may screw this up, but I think it was like, Tom Bradley or somebody like that. He's an African American. African American. Something from Wisconsin. He's African American. Don't you know? Don't you know?

[Gina Grad]

Oh, yeah, Big fella.

[Brian]

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. We had the falafel there.

[Gina Grad]

Is that how you say it?

[Brian]

Yeah, the falafel.

[Gina Grad]

The falafel.

[Brian]

It's the middle. Middle African people there. They make. Not the black African. Don't you know the. No, we have.

[Gina Grad]

Well, there's another kind.

[Brian]

Well, there's a better kind. They're not. Yeah. You know, they make the falafel.

[Adam Carolla]

We are losing the Minnesota vote.

[Gina Grad]

They're like hush puppies.

[Brian]

They make the falafel. We had the falafel. Yeah, I like that. So I think. I think it was a Bradley, now that we named a terminal after him. He'll be fine. But he ran track for. I think ucla was kind of beloved character out here. And he was a black mare in Los Angeles, I don't know, in the 70s or something, for a few terms. 73 to 93. Oh, pretty good run. Pardon the pun. And I don't know if it was him, but there was a thing where they did a poll and they said, like, is this black candidate gonna win? And of course, all the uptight white people went, yeah, I'm voting for him. Sure. Totally. I'm progressive. Like, I'm not uptight. I'm not racist. I'm not anything else. It's called the Bradley Effect. It's called the Bradley Effect. They also made a hell of a fighting vehicle. So they went like, oh, yeah, no, I'm gonna vote for him. And then they didn't. Because at the cocktail party, everyone wanted to seem progressive, but then when they got alone in the booth, they went, not voting for the black guy.

[Adam Carolla]

I've heard about the Bradley Effect is famous, and it could come into effect with Trump. It seems like it might be, because it's a lot closer than I think a lot of people expected thus far. What I don't understand is what's for whoever that person is who's not telling the truth to the pollster, whether you're for Bradley or against Bradley or for Trump or against Trump or whoever. Why? What's in it for you? What do you care if a pollster.

[Brian]

Well, we're.

[Adam Carolla]

What do you care if a pollster knows who or what you're voting for?

[Brian]

Well, to me, that's strange, but I'm gonna use your argument, which is, what do you care? Like in a world where if you vote for this guy, there's a lot of baggage attached to it, or if you vote for this, there's a lot of you have a progressive whatever attached to it. Who cares?

[Adam Carolla]

No, I understand.

[Brian]

In a who cares? World, you may go, yeah, I'm for gay marriage, but you're not for gay marriage. But it's who cares? And you just wanna seem progressive.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm with you. I understand what you're saying 100% at cocktail parties, when you're with your friends or with family or co workers, whoever. But when you're talking to that anonymous pollster on the phone or wherever.

[Brian]

And I shouldn't have said cocktail parties. I know what you're saying. I know you know, but you're right. You're drilling down on this and it's better. It is clearly a thing. It's a thing. And here's what I think it is. And maybe Gary can tell us about the Bradley effect, but it's only a couple percentage points. It's just out of 100 people, there's four people that would just lie because reflexively, like almost somebody says, you're gonna vote for Trump. No, no, I'm not voting for Trump. I like the brown people. I like everything. Copacetic, women's rights, stuff like that. I'm not for that. You just. And you go, why would you lie to the person you're not telling? It's just a reflex. And it's just a small percentage of people that go, oh, yeah, I'm voting for the black guy, cuz I'm not. There's a thing where, as a human being, whether you're standing in front of your boss or it's an anonymous person on the other end of the phone, you still are likely to tell the version that in your mind makes you come across a little better to that other human being. But again, it only needs to be 5%.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. A couple people out of that hundred

[Brian]

to make a pretty big. Pretty big difference.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay.

[Brian]

All right.

[Adam Carolla]

We solved the Bradley effect. You're welcome, researchers.

[Brian]

Yep, we got the.

[Adam Carolla]

That's actually largely, almost exactly what this says.

[Brian]

Oh, really? Yeah, that for the Bradley.

[Adam Carolla]

You read Wikipedia, where was.

[Brian]

But, but he got. I know. Tom Bradley. So he was mayor for 20 years. So how'd this work.

[Adam Carolla]

So in 82, he tried to run for governor.

[Brian]

Oh, we can't let one of them run. And he ran against Republican candidate. And please, someone who's a little older.

[Adam Carolla]

Correct.

[Brian]

Meian. Thank you. George Dugmajian. And they make the.

[Adam Carolla]

Technically, when you say it ahead of them, you don't. Correcting him.

[Brian]

I knew what I knew he was having trouble with Duke Mache. And they make the falafels, those people. So, yeah, he.

[Adam Carolla]

They.

[Brian]

Basically, the theory that came out of here is that it was a combination

[Adam Carolla]

of white people just lying to pollsters

[Brian]

and changing their votes at the last second. And the final poll that was done was done over the weekend.

[Adam Carolla]

And they think that it was a bad sample size.

[Brian]

So it was a combination of those two effects. But look, we're all humans, and when no one's gonna hold us to it, and they just ask you, hey, here's the popular kids and here's the whatever who you're gonna vote for. You just say it again. A percentage, small percentage, but enough to screw up the polls. All right, if we don't have any calls, maybe we should. They're going up right now.

[Adam Carolla]

Sorry.

[Brian]

We should. Well, throw them up. Or we can start some news if we like as well. I should tell you guys. Reno, I'm told November 19th. Reno Silver Legacy Casino selling briskly, according to Mike August.

[Gina Grad]

We need to take a little side trip to Tahoe.

[Brian]

Gonna get in on that. We can do whatever we want.

[Gina Grad]

We can gamble in Reno.

[Brian]

What are we talking about? Ooh, I'd like some chocolate chip pancakes, but nice, nice, everybody. The live shows are turning quite a bit of fun, and we appreciate all you guys coming out. Adam Stahn, minority president. Let's see. I'll take one more, and then we'll do some news. How about that? All right. David, 37, Florida. David. Yeah. Hey, Ace, man. Yeah, man. I had a question about, you know, if Hillary were to win, she would,

[Kenan Thompson]

you know, be a minority that's becoming a president.

[Brian]

And I was wondering what you thought the next, you know, breakthrough would be from a minority. Would it be. It's a multiple choice. Yeah. Okay.

[Adam Carolla]

Are women a minority?

[Brian]

Not fit.

[Gina Grad]

2951. Ish.

[Brian]

As far as presidents.

[Adam Carolla]

That's true. That is very true.

[Brian]

No, it's minority is anybody's not white and male. That's how it is. It's like calling Hispanics minorities. You know, they're not really minorities anymore.

[Adam Carolla]

Clearly, women are minorities as represented in government at least, you know, federal government.

[Brian]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

So I know what he means. I know what he means.

[Brian]

Mm. Okay. So. So my choices were, you know, a very blatant homosexual man. Mm. A really obese person. I'm talking about, you know, Christie esque. Maybe a little bit heavier.

[Adam Carolla]

Or.

[Brian]

Or Chinese or Indian. Either.

[Kenan Thompson]

Either two Indians.

[Brian]

Native American or. Or, you know, Eastern. Yeah, the other Eastern. Yeah, I know from those.

[Kenan Thompson]

What do you think?

[Brian]

Personally, I would like to get a Jew in there. I just feel like they're smarter than we are.

[Adam Carolla]

It's probably more likely of all those.

[Gina Grad]

And we run everything anyway.

[Brian]

I'm all form. There hasn't been one at least already, I think maybe a Jew. No, no, no, no. I'm gonna say I like the morbidly obese one because that's good SNL stuff. They're gonna have to stay away from the Indian stuff.

[Adam Carolla]

Morbidly obese. The whole country's getting morbidly obese. So that's just gonna be representative of the population.

[Brian]

That was my feelings, like, when it's like they were like, chris Christie too fat to run. It's like, no, in a world where, hey, I wanna vote for that guy who looks like me because he's got his belt pulled up over his nipples and cinched in tight with huge gun hangover, that that's what everyone's turning into.

[Gina Grad]

And isn't that what presidents looked like in the past? Like, Taft, they were all like, those big obese dudes.

[Brian]

I always told. We say that. We say that, but there's more. CrossFit people and people. Yeah, well, there's gonna be everywhere that. Look, there's gonna be. You know, they do that thing where it's like, we have no middle class anymore. It's just the ultra rich, ultra poor. It's gonna be that way with body sizes. Body mass index is gonna be a whole bunch of, like, ultra fitness freaks. And then a whole bunch of just blimps. Just Oompa Loompas.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Brian]

They separate, right? I always told Alec Baldwin that I wanted him to run for president. I wanted him to grow a big beard. I want to put on, like, 40 pounds and have a pocket watch and tell people, like, look down at his pocket watch and go, gentlemen, I grow weary. You know, snap it shut. The thing about a pocket watch is it snaps open and snaps shut. It's like the only watch that it opens. It really. It opens. Like it's launching something. It's like, pop. I need to know what time it is now. Snap. And then you snap it shut. Good day.

[Gina Grad]

It tells you when the conversation's Over.

[Brian]

That's right. Yours watch snap shut. Yeah. It goes off. It opens like a catapult, shuts like a clamshell. And all I want is all presidents to carry pockets, watches, and they'll look down and go, I don't have time for this gentleman.

[Adam Carolla]

And when things are going swimmingly, they

[Brian]

can twirl them right when they're hatching a plan. Yeah. All right, so electoral college right now Fox has it at 150 to 122Trump, and CNN has it at 139 to 104Trump. So we'll see what they now would have to get to 270. Yep.

[Gina Grad]

270. Yeah.

[Brian]

All right, why don't we do a little news and we'll keep you guys posted.

[Gina Grad]

Let's do it.

[Brian]

Give me the news with grad. News with Ginograd. Showbiz Congress tech news, sports news, world news. Give me news with Gina Grad. Weird shit out of Florida sex surveys. Obama need News with Gina. Gina. The news with Gina Grad.

[Gina Grad]

Well, here's something Trump might actually not have to worry about. But in radio interviews Tuesday today, Donald Trump still would not unequivocally commit to accepting the outcome of the election if he wins.

[Brian]

That's the thing.

[Gina Grad]

Trump is, for the past month, railed against what he calls a rigged system, warning over voter fraud and accusing the media of colluding against him. Here's a clip of Trump on 970 WFLA in Tampa Bay on whether or not he'll contest the results. If they're close.

[Brian]

So, no, if I think everything's on the up and up, that's a lot different. And we can only see what happens. I hope it's gonna be very fair. I think we're gonna do very, very well.

[Alec Baldwin]

Yeah.

[Brian]

I don't. It's a stupid strategy. It's like, if you're gonna contest it, do it, but don't say anything about it. There is something I like about him, which is he doesn't know how to be a politician in terms of.

[Adam Carolla]

He doesn't put appealing quality.

[Brian]

Yeah, he doesn't. And that's an interesting thing. I had a. He won in Missouri and Montana, so says Gary. So I had this very interesting conversation with Mike August today, which was. He said, boy, I love that interview you did with Baldwin. And I said, oh, I didn't think it was so. I mean, I didn't think much of it one way or the other. He said, no. I answered all these questions about his career and about where he's going. And this. And he never answers those kinds of questions. And I said, baldwin has a kind of a wiring that I share and that when somebody asks me a question, who's funnier, men or women? I feel compelled to answer them. I feel like I have to give them an answer. They just asked me. I can't go, well, I know a lot of funny gals. I know a lot of funny fellas. That's not what they're asking. They're asking a question. Maybe they're trying to trap me, maybe they're trying to ruin my career, but I still feel compelled to answer. And I think most people that are sort of intellectually honest feel that way as well. And I don't think Baldwin feels that way when he's talking to some reporter from TMZ or something. But if I'm in the dressing room, we're just talking guy to guy. I think he feels sort of compelled to provide an answer about his career, about something he might not want to get into or whatever it is. So politicians learn, day one, don't answer anything. Pivot. Yeah. Or do whatever. And now dow futures down 500 points.

[Adam Carolla]

It's a good sign for Donald Trump.

[Brian]

The peso's down 30%. Is this on Trump's. This is on a tight early success. Correct. On the reaction to a tight election. Mm. Wow.

[Gina Grad]

Dios mio.

[Brian]

Yeah. So sorry. I do like the fact that he just doesn't know how to do anything but answer, but he should just say, well, we'll cross that bridge when we get to it.

[Gina Grad]

Well, you might know this better than I, because I just recently learned this, and I thought it was quite dignified and amazing. Is it true that Nixon basically decided he would not contest against Kennedy because he thought it was a really unpresidential thing to do?

[Brian]

I think there was something, and it's still all we have, but we don't think in these terms. All you have as a human being, and especially back then as a man, was your reputation. You know, your handshake, your word, you know, really, it was your reputation. We don't know it. That's all we have now, too, but we keep trying to pretend like we don't. But if you think about your dealings with whoever you're dealing with, you're really just kind of dealing with their reputation. You're just dealing with who they are, what, you know, what. What interactions on a good way. And then there's the bad version of that. The people, you know, when the phone rings, what's he want? What's she want, you know, what's going on? You really. And I. There was a time when in this country, I mean, that was a pretty big thing. Like, I could remember just every third movie. Like, sir, my word is my bond and my handshake's as good as any contract. Thank you, sir. You know, they'd shake the hand, they'd show the close up of the hand shaking, you know, and I grew up thinking that means a lot. And I would hope that everyone attempts to keep their reputation in good shape, but. And then, you know, I guess Tricky Dick thought that he needed a bond and a reputation. And there's all sorts of things back then. I mean, look, he's old school. Somebody called your wife fat, you'd have to duel, you know. Now it's like, I know she needs to get on some Jenny Tate.

[Gina Grad]

Answer this on Twitter.

[Brian]

Nixon told the reporter at the time,

[Adam Carolla]

our country cannot afford the agony of a constitutional crisis.

[Brian]

And I damn well will not be

[Adam Carolla]

party to creating one just to become president or anything else.

[Gina Grad]

Wow.

[Brian]

Yeah. All bets are off now. But I will tell you this, and I really do, I see it on an almost daily basis in show business because show business is a very. It's easy to go for the quick money. You know, it's easy to go, I want to be a producer on this, or I want to get paid or I want this. I'm going to. You know, there's a version of that in show business which makes it easy and you can do it and you can get away with it. I mean, as I've always said, I had a manager. The manager had me, had Jimmy Kimmel, had Carson Daly, had Tom Green, had a whole roster of guys and has none of them now because he got grabby. On the other hand, my money manager, Tony, he's got Bill Simmons and he's got Carson Daly, he's got Jimmy Kimmel. He's had me for 20 something years. He doesn't get grabby. See what I'm saying? He's building this thing. I was sitting next to Jimmy a long game. You don't realize it, but it's true. I was sitting next to Jimmy on Bill's show and Bill said, geez, you guys have been working together and buddies for what, 20 years? And Jimmy said, 22 to be exact. Right. But no one got grabby early, early on. And believe you me, there are plenty of opportunities when, you know, Jimmy's crank anchors was his idea. But he didn't go, I'm taking 80%. You know, it was my idea why you're getting. We're whacking it up. But then later on when I got on the radio, he got a bunch of money for doing some light lifting. It came but. But if he'd got grabby with crank anchors, then he wouldn't have got the radio money. Right? Trump 149, Clinton 109. According to CNN. Is there. But Gary Clinton just won New Mexico and Trump just won Missouri. New Mexico. Missouri.

[Adam Carolla]

Was New Mexico a toss up or is that blue? New Mexico was blue. Okay.

[Brian]

Is there Utah, Colorado and Nevada are

[Adam Carolla]

the toss ups in the west.

[Brian]

So what do they got? California's done or in or whatever.

[Adam Carolla]

California, Washington, Oregon, Idaho, don't really matter.

[Brian]

What we're still looking at that are big ones are Oklahoma, Florida, Virginia, Pennsylvania,

[Adam Carolla]

Oklahoma still being counted. I mean, sorry. Still not called.

[Brian]

Still not called. The bigger one that's surprising is Florida.

[Adam Carolla]

Florida's got 98.9% of the vote in and they won't call it.

[Gina Grad]

Well, they've had some issues in the past.

[Brian]

I'm sorry, I misspoke. When I said Oklahoma, I meant Ohio. The lettering screwed me up. Sorry. Yeah, it was bugging me too.

[Adam Carolla]

It was bugging Dawson.

[Brian]

Had to correct it. All right, let me tell you guys about, ah, Smart mouth. Nothing ruins an intimate moment as quickly as nasty breath. Smart Mouth. It's the only activated mouthwash clinically proven to instantly eliminate bad breath and prevent bad breath from coming back for 12 full hours. So give a shot before you go to bed and then don't wake up with that morning mouth. And that's how you prevent morning breath. Two separate liquids, you combine them, activates the zinc ions that stop the bacteria from producing the sulfur gas for 12 hours. So next time you're out drinking, smoking, getting high, driving your cabin and getting stoned, use Smart mouth before heading home. And get that mouth good because, you know, meet up with a nice little chickadee at the bar. You want to go back, have a little make out sesh on the roommate's futon. You want to have fresh breath? Visit smartmouth.com or find them online. Walmart, Target, Walgreens, CVS, wherever you shop. Smart mouth. All right, let's do, let's do one more.

[Gina Grad]

All right. Well, adult film actresses Angelina Castro and Maggie Green say that this election sucks and they want to put some fun back in it. They both hate Donald Trump because he doesn't support nasty women. So if Trump loses on election day, Maggie and Angelina are planning to give everybody BJ's to qualify for a. BJ fans must follow both Angelina and Maggie on Twitter and vote against Trump, though they're not sure they this is legal or can be enforced.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't spell Angelina.

[Gina Grad]

Hold on. We have a clip of Maggie Greene giving her final call to action.

[Brian]

Trust me, this is not a lie or an empty promise.

[Adam Carolla]

There's enough of that politics.

[Brian]

Angelina and I will deliver on our promise if Trump stays away from the White House. So remember, a vote against Trump is a vote for nasty women and for BJ's.

[Adam Carolla]

There you go.

[Brian]

Let me say this.

[Adam Carolla]

You seem happy about it.

[Brian]

There's a part of me that does not judge. And I'll tell you why. By the way, here, why don't we. Let's just say the first chick's real name is Jeanine.

[Alec Baldwin]

Okay.

[Brian]

All right. Now, when I point at you, you say, In a ballooning accident. And then I'll do mine. Brian, you ask what you hadn't heard from Janine. What's she up to?

[Adam Carolla]

Hey, Mr. And Mrs. Green. How's it going?

[Brian]

Good.

[Adam Carolla]

Hey, before I even get into it, how's Janine? I haven't heard from so long. What happened to her ballooning issues?

[Brian]

She died. Now I'm gonna point at you. I gotta get excited.

[Adam Carolla]

Hey, what happened to Janine? I hadn't heard from her in so long.

[Brian]

Well, sadly, she died in a tunnel colony. Ballooning accident.

[Adam Carolla]

She was ballooning in a tunnel?

[Brian]

Well, tunnel. Sorry, what'd you say, Shweta?

[Gina Grad]

She had ballooned up to quite a size.

[Brian]

The tunnel couldn't support that.

[Adam Carolla]

That's horrifying.

[Brian]

We're going to have a new daughter soon. Yeah, okay.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay.

[Brian]

One that won't get into porn or

[Gina Grad]

shame us in any way.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, that's an admirable goal. I can't even imagine that's on the table.

[Brian]

Not that Janine was in a porn. Nope.

[Adam Carolla]

No, the blown ballooned up and died in a tunnel.

[Brian]

She died in a balloon. It's a tunnel accident.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah, she was the balloon because she bullet.

[Gina Grad]

Well, I'll tell you, traveling out of a balloon.

[Brian]

She didn't die blowing half of North America.

[Gina Grad]

No, she did not.

[Brian]

Why would. She did not.

[Alec Baldwin]

That would be.

[Gina Grad]

And we'll fight anyone who says so.

[Brian]

Yep.

[Kenan Thompson]

Okay.

[Adam Carolla]

It's an odd that you'd even bring that up. It's almost a non sequitur. Yeah, that she would blow up out of America.

[Gina Grad]

She definitely didn't offer it on Twitter.

[Brian]

That's right. Don't even bother checking.

[Adam Carolla]

I hadn't had the thought until just Now.

[Brian]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

What was her Twitter handle?

[Brian]

Well, it's really nuttier. Yeah, she. We never got it. She's still down there. Me not blowing guys in the tunnel.

[Adam Carolla]

Haven't retrieved her body.

[Brian]

Well, the balloon hit the tunnel with such ferocity.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm confused. She was the balloon or she was in a balloon, or both.

[Gina Grad]

There was some blowing into a balloon.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay.

[Brian]

She will be not. She'll not be forgotten, but she'll never be spoken of again.

[Adam Carolla]

Starting now, right now.

[Brian]

Or maybe like five minutes ago. Okay, we gotta go have another girl.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay, well, I'll talk to you in a couple years.

[Brian]

Don't ask where her sister Sharon is.

[Adam Carolla]

I hadn't thought of it until just now.

[Brian]

Yeah, no, but don't ask. No, no, please don't. Don't go onto Twitter. All right? Just stay off Instagram, enjoy the Trump tax breaks, and let's just get back to our business.

[Adam Carolla]

It did very well last year, so I should enjoy this.

[Brian]

Thank you. Thank you. Yeah. The thing about chicks and I don't know.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, no.

[Brian]

I don't know how. I honestly don't say I would be any different. If I was like, when I was 22, I had nothing. I had no money, I had no anything. I know anything. But if you could told me, like, look, see that fat 51 year old guy, Blow him like, you know, twice a month, you get a BMW 7 series. I can't say that I wouldn't go do it.

[Adam Carolla]

Seems equitable.

[Brian]

I was working on construction sites all day, like I was killing myself. Like, they got this thing in their hip pocket which is their sexuality. It expires, you know, when they're 35 or 40, but when they're 26, they get to use it.

[Gina Grad]

It's a high premium.

[Brian]

If nothing in life works out, you can always break that glass and keep your sexuality, which is there. If you want to go do it, it's there.

[Gina Grad]

Get yourself a brand new popcorn tin.

[Brian]

Yeah, that's. I mean, guys just never, in a weird way, you tell me, Brian, but we're talking about, you know, Hillary's gonna straighten this whole mess out with the 73 cents on the dollar, whatever. But we never spend any of our time factoring that into the equation. Women have to spend X amount of time factoring it into the equation, their sexuality. Or like, why am I being hired? Or what's this guy want from me? Or is he being nice? Or is he offering me a ride? What's his thing? What's my thing? What do I look like? What should I look like, what should I get myself put together before I go in and do this thing, what's the occasion? And blah, blah, blah. For guys like me and Brian and every other guy I've known, it's neither here nor there. It's just get up and go to work. You either get hired or you don't get hired. They don't get hired. Oh, they hired the pretty guy, but they wouldn't hire the unattractive laborer or whatever it is. It was just.

[Adam Carolla]

It works out for me most of the time, but I don't think about it.

[Brian]

But there's zero calories spent ever given to that. It was just get up, go to work, try to get a better. Try to make a buck more an hour than he did last year. Never. What's he really getting? He's being a little too nice.

[Adam Carolla]

What's his motivation here?

[Brian]

Yeah, so there's a certain deficit that I believe that most women, especially attractive women, but all women are gonna be at, which is they have to go through their life and their work Life with about 7/8 on the job and about 18 set aside of this guy's asking me to come over to his house to work on this project. What's going on here? Yeah, we just never, never have to burn that calorie.

[Gina Grad]

When I was a temp, I would get asked out to lunch a lot by management, and I didn't want to work for the company. I was young, I lived in New York, and so I was so scared and I didn't know what to do that I would call out sick the next day because it was wrong.

[Brian]

May peeps.

[Gina Grad]

I didn't know how to handle it. I was nervous.

[Brian]

Well, you had guys offer to buy you jewelry, right?

[Gina Grad]

Yeah. I had two guys ask me to go to Hawaii with them. I've still never been.

[Brian]

Well, that's the thing. See, with us, it's like never said, hey, for a reason, peeps. Baldy, get back to work. Brilliant. Right behind him.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes, sir. Right away, sir.

[Brian]

That's all it is. So it's never you go again. I started off this show by saying you never think about what someone else is going to do for you. Like, well, maybe some guy will come in here and maybe he'll be a successful guy and maybe we'll hook up and next thing you know, I'll be living in a nice house. Like there's never that option. Just like there was never the option of I'm just gonna slide the headshot under the manager's door and then I'll get on saying elsewhere, no timely point is this.

[Adam Carolla]

All the kids on Facebook are, like, nodding, liking.

[Brian]

No, what I'm saying is maybe you should just go through your life like an actor who's never gonna get a job that you don't create and a chick who's too ugly to love.

[Gina Grad]

Amen.

[Brian]

Amen. Let's bring it home.

[Gina Grad]

I'm Gina Grad, and that's the news.

[Brian]

Gina, Gina. That was the news with Gina Grad, Boll and Branch. When I get a great night's sleep, I think you can change your sheets. Check out Boll, B O L L and branch. Pure 100% organic cotton, super soft. Buy direct from them, cut out the wholesaler, baby. Thousands of five star reviews. Three US Presidents slept on bowl and branch sheets. So you know, they're good because they can get whatever they want, man. You can try them out 30 nights. See, they don't do 30 days, 30 nights. If you don't love them, send them back for a refund. Shipping is free, by the way, so you really have nothing to lose. 50 bucks off your first set of [e-mail] it is one of these things that didn't exist. I didn't, you know, I didn't know there was such a thing as an upper sheet. It was like 34.

[Adam Carolla]

He introduced you the idea. You're missing out on 50% of the world.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, man.

[Brian]

Where's my other sheet? What other sheet? You got a sheet. It's under you. What about the other sheet? What other sheet?

[Adam Carolla]

The top sheet.

[Gina Grad]

You sleep on two sheets in case

[Brian]

the bed turns over like you're making grilled cheese in the middle of the night. Danny, two sheets, everybody. 50 bucks off your first set of [e-mail] promo code ACE. But again, take care of yourself. Like this is one of those. Spend a couple bucks and get it dialed in and enjoy. B O L L and Branch.com promo code ACE. Get your 50 bucks off your first set of sheets. Well, it looks like Trump won Ohio. Is that what gary says? Only NBC's calling that, but yeah, only NBC.

[Gina Grad]

That's not nothing.

[Brian]

So we thought, well, we'll just have a whole bunch of answers by now. But I guess we don't. And I guess we can conclude CNN's calling it too. CNN's calling it too. We can conclude that there's a little bit of that Bradley effect going on, or so it seems. Yeah. I mean, considering Ohio, and it's. I mean, it's looking very likely that Florida as well.

[Gina Grad]

So and so many strategists said this will be over by 5:00pm our time.

[Brian]

Yeah. The good news is I guess we never have to listen to any strategists anymore ever again.

[Adam Carolla]

But play this back.

[Brian]

And for yours, the Washington Redskins did win their last home game before whatever. Whatever that one was. That one was. Yeah. So where were we?

[Adam Carolla]

Leader Trump?

[Brian]

Yes, Overlord. Oh, well, I'll tell you, if you want to soften the blow one way or the other, why don't you Pre order the 24 hour war. We've now moved over 2000 of these things and I'm so happy and I'm so proud. Chassis C-A-S-S-Y.com and it is dropping on the 22nd of November. But get it on the 22nd of November by pre ordering and it's just easier for us and it's better for everyone and just enjoy. It's a great piece.

[Gina Grad]

It's like RSVPing so you know who's coming to the party, how many places to set?

[Brian]

No, we're doing it ourselves. After many make up a thousand. And now we realize we have to make up another thousand batches. But it helps. It just helps. And the Cornhole Tournament endless rant that is. Saturday, November 19th King Harbor Brewery, Redondo. 40 bucks per person covers the beer and the tourney. Entry 11 to 5pm Sign up at corolladrinks.com that's corolladrinks.com Trump167 Clinton109 as we wrap. And until next time, Adam Kroll for Gina Grad and Bald Brian saying Mahala aids, aids schmaids.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, that was Adam Kollishow 1946. That does it for today's Coral Classics. Make sure to tune in tomorrow for an all new installment. Until then and get it on.

[Brian]

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[Brian]

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[Kenan Thompson]

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[Brian]

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[Adam Carolla]

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[Brian]

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[Gina Grad]

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[Adam Carolla]

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[Brian]

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