Alec Baldwin + Robert Davi (Carolla Classics)

Summary

Episode Summary: Adam Carolla Show – Alec Baldwin + Robert Davi (Carolla Classics) Release Date: May 18, 2025

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The Adam Carolla Show revisits memorable moments in its "Carolla Classics" segment, featuring engaging conversations with notable guests Alec Baldwin and Robert Davi. This episode delves into a blend of personal anecdotes, industry insights, and humorous banter, offering listeners a comprehensive glimpse into the dynamics of show business and personal life.

1. Family Dynamics and Personal Reflections

Adam Carolla opens the conversation by sharing candid insights about his relationship with his family. He discusses the challenges of connecting with family members who are avid readers, contrasting his own interests in sports, construction, and entertainment.

Adam Carolla [02:17]: "There's always sort of something in between me and them and what I do. There was a disconnect."

2. Critique of Media Outlets

A significant portion of the discussion centers around Adam's critical view of media platforms like TMZ and Telepictures. He expresses frustration over perceived double standards in how the media treats comedians versus more tragic or sensitive topics.

Adam Carolla [09:56]: "Places like TMZ are a bunch of hypocritical ass wipes... They're only in it for the money."

3. Live Guest Appearances

The episode is marked by unexpected live interactions with Seth MacFarlane and Alec Baldwin. These spontaneous moments add a dynamic and unpredictable flair to the show, highlighting Adam's ability to seamlessly integrate high-profile guests into his discussions.

Adam Carolla [10:18]: "This is live, and you're on the podcast. How you doing, buddy?"

4. Discussion on the Caylee Anthony Case

Adam broaches the sensitive topic of the Caylee Anthony case, critiquing the media's handling and public reactions. The conversation underscores his skepticism towards media narratives and the justice process.

Adam Carolla [15:56]: "It's fucking pathetic. And I just wish that someone would hold them to the same fucking standard that they hold comedians to."

Note: The discussion touches on controversial and sensitive subjects. Listener discretion is advised.

5. Interactions with Callers

Throughout the episode, Adam engages with callers facing personal challenges. Notable interactions include:

• Charlotte: A 27-year-old struggling to find employment despite holding a master's degree.

  Adam Carolla [143:04]: "First off, you're a chick, so that's good. Because when a dude moves back with his parents, it is goddamn pathetic."

• Steve: A caller dealing with health issues and recent divorce, seeking advice on moving forward.

  Adam Carolla [151:19]: "All right, now listen. You don't have problems."

These segments showcase Adam's characteristic blend of humor and tough love, providing entertainment while addressing real-life issues.

6. Spotlight on Robert Davi

Robert Davi shares his journey in the entertainment industry, highlighting his passion for music and his tribute to Frank Sinatra. The conversation delves into Robert's efforts to honor the Great American Songbook and his experiences working alongside legends like Sinatra.

Brian Bishop [128:25]: "The album's called Davi Singh Sinatra on the Road to Romance... the Great American Songbook."

7. Promotional Segments and Sponsor Highlights

Interwoven throughout the episode are promotional segments for sponsors such as O'Reilly Auto Parts, Factor Meals, Rakuten, and GoToMeeting. Adam seamlessly integrates these advertisements into the conversation, maintaining the show's flow while highlighting the benefits and special offers available to listeners.

Adam Carolla [17:35]: "The smartest way to save money when you shop because you earn cash back at over 3,500 stores."

8. Humorous Banter and Light-Hearted Moments

The episode is peppered with Adam's signature humor, playful jabs at co-hosts, and amusing stories. From discussions about pet Chihuahuas to humorous takes on everyday situations, these moments add levity and relatability to the show.

Adam Carolla [85:50]: "Pretty much I've been living off my parents for the last two years. Which I hate."

9. News Highlights with Allison Rosen

Allison Rosen delivers brief news segments, covering topics ranging from legal updates on high-profile cases to policy changes affecting the NBA. Her segments provide listeners with timely information, balanced with Adam's humorous interjections.

Allison Rosen [116:03]: "The Supreme Court has agreed to decide the constitutionality of the sweeping health care reform law championed by Barack Obama."

10. Closing Remarks and Future Teasers

As the episode concludes, Adam teases upcoming shows, new app launches, and continued collaborations with guests. He reinforces the show's commitment to delivering uncensored comedy and candid conversations, encouraging listeners to stay tuned for more engaging content.

Adam Carolla [181:46]: "Good guys, good sponsors, good people. We rely on you to use their business."

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This episode of The Adam Carolla Show exemplifies the show's blend of humor, candid discussions, and high-profile guest interactions. Whether delving into personal stories or critiquing media practices, Adam Carolla delivers a compelling and entertaining experience for his global audience.

Transcript

[Adam Carolla]

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[Adam Carolla]

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[Giovanni]

Welcome to Corolla Classics. I'm your host, superfan Giovanni. This is the podcast where we play the best moments highlights on fans selected clips from all 16 years of the Adam Carolla show.

[Adam Carolla]

If you'd like to request a clip.

[Giovanni]

Please email us classicsdamcarolla.com we have a separate podcast feed titled Crolla Classics with ad free archives exclusively available through Podcast One Premium. You can also find ad free archives for the Adam Carolla show, The Adam and Dr. Drew show, as well as.

[Adam Carolla]

Exclusive access to the brand new show.

[Giovanni]

Beat it Out through Adam Corolla's substack adamcorla.substack.com all right, let's get to the clips coming first we have Adam Crolla show 688, Alec Baldwin, Allison Rosen, Brian Bishop relationship calls from 2011. Check it out.

[Adam Carolla]

Good day, bald Brian. I just raped you. You didn't even know it. That's right. Good day, Allison Rosen.

[Allison Rosen]

Hello, Adam.

[Adam Carolla]

Ah, that's right. The one year book anniversary coming out will be tomorrow.

[Allison Rosen]

Wow.

[Adam Carolla]

Let me tell you a little something about my family. One year, not a conversation.

[Allison Rosen]

Still. Still no conversation.

[Adam Carolla]

Not a con. I will, I will tell you the extent of the conversations I've had. And you have to understand my family. I played football, but they don't like football. And then I did construction, but they don't like construction. And then I got into boxing and they don't really like boxing. And then, you know, I did love line, but they don't stay up that late. And then I did the man show and crank anchors but they don't have cable. So there's always sort of something in between me and them and what I do. There was a disconnect. I was never, by the way, for the first 10 years I boxed. I don't Think my dad knew I boxed. I think he really knew what I did or how I did it. And it was always like, what are you doing? He doesn't know. But all they do is read. That's all they do. That's all my dad does, is sit around while I was doing whatever it is I would be doing. Boxing, building cars. Growing up, whatever. Growing up. Whatever it is I would do and I would do. You know, I'd do a Dodger celebrity softball game and hit a home run. No can do. Janeiro fees, Toyota Grand Prix. Nothing. Nothing ever. I wouldn't bring it up, wouldn't have a discussion about it. But during that entire time my dad would be reading. That would be what he would do. He would sit home and he would read. Mom reader, sister reader. Everyone's a reader.

[Allison Rosen]

It's like, what do you have to do to get their attention? Write a book.

[Adam Carolla]

I never thought I'd write a book, but I always figured if I ever did write a book, that would be it. That would be the conversation. That would be the icebreaker around Thanksgiving. And speaking of Thanksgiving, last year at Thanksgiving, they all helped themselves to a free book because somebody stumbled upon a box of them that were at my house in the den because I was signing them or something, and they all got hold of them. And I thought, all right, I'm going to hear something about this in the next 10 to 21 days. Nope. Been a year. Not had a conversation. Had conversations where they've said, like, what are you doing? And I've said, I'm working on the second book. And they said, okay, but not. Not a conversation about the book. Not a one. Not with any of them. My mom left a message on my machine saying that. Saying that it was clever. And it was.

[Allison Rosen]

That's almost a conversation.

[Adam Carolla]

It was almost a conversation. It was part of a conversation. It was an acknowledgement.

[Giovanni]

She may have flushed you with him in conversation.

[Adam Carolla]

She. She has officially kicked the ass of everyone else in the family because she actually said something. I have no idea if anyone's read the book or hasn't read the book, not had a conversation about it.

[Allison Rosen]

That is fucked up.

[Adam Carolla]

It's weird, isn't it?

[Allison Rosen]

I was going to say that I feel like maybe you need to write a book about long walks and smoothies. Yeah, but your mom thought you were clever with what you already wrote about.

[Adam Carolla]

She's also worried there was going to be a lot of shit and minimum amount.

[Allison Rosen]

Do you think when they read it, if they don't know if they read it, they're looking for stuff about themselves.

[Adam Carolla]

I could not tell you. I have no insights. I've had no discussions. If you put a gun under my chin right now and pulled the hammer down and said, did your dad read this book? I'd say flip a coin. And then you can either squeeze the trigger or not. I have no idea. Never come up. There's no indication. There's no reference. There's no any. There's not been anything.

[Allison Rosen]

And he's a therapist, so shouldn't he realize how important it would be to you to hear something?

[Adam Carolla]

It's weird, I must say. It is weird. It is weird. Step family into it. They're normal. Family. Family. No. And like I said, one year. Never come up. It will never come up. So that's. I mean, if it doesn't come in a year, it's kind of like a wedding gift. You don't get that crock pot the first year. It ain't showing up three years into the marriage. Right? So I don't think it's coming up. So I think it's possible that I could write a book, get on the New York Times bestseller list, give it to my family, and never have a discussion about them. And it wasn't some weird thing where I was talking about being molested or anything. It was just a book of jokes, essentially, and some. Some anecdotes and stories.

[Allison Rosen]

A very well written, funny one that everyone would like. Even your family. You'd think.

[Adam Carolla]

I. I don't. I'm not so sure. I'm not. I'm not sure. I don't think they're fans.

[Giovanni]

I like the book, buddy.

[Adam Carolla]

Thank you, buddy.

[Giovanni]

I came across your book today and doing some research for the Film Ball, by the way, we're doing top five documentaries about movies. You know what I mean? Like movies about movies.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, like Hearts of Darkness and stuff like that.

[Giovanni]

Researching Overnight, which is a great movie, you. And I like it. And it said Adam Carolla mentions it in his book as a modern cautionary tale. And he did do that. That was sort of like, hey, kids, watch out.

[Adam Carolla]

It is. I mean, everybody, every cocky kid should see that. Although when you're a cocky kid, I think you're more into that'll never happen to me. Sort of like when you're smoking at 19 and you're seeing, you know, guys getting preachy, you know, with a breather from a hospital bed at age 64, like, you're like, come on, that ain't never gonna be. I'm dying on a motorcycle at 23. Pop.

[Giovanni]

But this is relatable though, because the guy's practically a 19 year old, at least emotionally, the bar back who sold his screenplay for $15 million.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, that's great. Oh, great. Anyway, where was I? Ah, Ace Anywhere contest. This makes me feel good. That's right. Right now, the leader in the clubhouse in the referrals department is B. Tumpak. That's a good name if that is an actual name. And he's given us 102 referrals, by the way. Yes, in just a very short, short period of time. Ace Anywhere. The deal is we got an app coming out, we got the new website coming out and you go to Ace Anywhere and you refer a friend and whoever gets the most. Listen, I don't know anything about computers, but the point is, is you get the most eyeballs on that thing and we will fly you out from wherever you are and we'll put you up and we're having a beer and you're coming on the podcast. We love you that much tomorrow, by the way. Dag. Back on the show by popular demand. Everyone loves that man. All right, now let's see a follow up on something I was yapping about last night, which is Kaylee Anthony, the little two year old girl who died. I said just ironically, as I was taking my kids out, my 5 year old twins out to do a little trick or treating, I was skimming through the tv, saw TMZ and saw somebody dressed as someone who would have been five had she not had the life snuffed out of her at age 2. And also I made a mistake yesterday when I was explaining how just sort of macabre and gruesome and just what horrible taste this was. And again, I'm not easily offended. I'm just saying this. Places like TMZ are a bunch of hypocritical ass wipes who essentially pretend to give a shit about comedians like me and Tracy Morgan and all that stuff. If we make some off colored, off handed racial remark on stage, by the way, doing standup, they pretend to be, oh, you've offended the delicate sensibilities of us and the group. And how Darian Perez Hilton would do the same thing. Like that ass wipe gives a shit about anybody, any other human being, there's no doubt about it, they're only in it for the money. But they have to pretend to be. You know, there's moral outrage if you move, make a group. God forbid you make a joke about a tranny up on stage, It's a big fucking deal. And they have to be outraged about it. They made a joke because it was. Oh, Seth MacFarlane's calling me. Hold on a second. I gotta work this out.

[Giovanni]

Put it on speaker.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know how to do it. Seth, can you hear me? Good. I'm doing my podcast. I want to try to put you on speaker. Can you hear me now? Oh, wait a minute. I got it. There we go. And I got to turn you up. Let's see. All right, I got you. Can you hear me now? How come it doesn't. How come it's not louder? I hit the speaker. That's as loud as it gets. Seth, can you hear me? Oh, there we go. How are you, buddy? I'm good. How are you? Good. I got your text, and then I texted you back, and then we started to do our podcast. And then I thought, well, you know what? If Seth calls me in the middle of the podcast, I'll just weave him seamlessly into the podcast. And here you are.

[Allison Rosen]

You pulled that off.

[Adam Carolla]

This is live, and you're on the podcast. How you doing, buddy? I love it. I love it. I'm good, man. How are you? I'm doing great. I'd love to get caught up with you. I'd love to get your input. I sent Seth my animatic fox. I'm sure he hasn't seen it yet. Have you looked at it, Seth? I did. I finally. Finally got a chance to look at it today after God knows how many days of trying to get to it, and it's looking good, my friend. Oh, good, good. You're going to be at home tonight? Yeah, yeah, I'll be around. Can I call you after the podcast? Absolutely. That would be awesome. And we'd love to have you on the podcast as soon as you have time. Anytime, man. Anytime.

[Caller]

You just blow that whistle, I'm there.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, thanks, brother. I'll call you tonight. All right, cool. Thank you very much. All right. Yeah, it was weird. I got this.

[Allison Rosen]

You really do know him.

[Adam Carolla]

I got this text from him, and I thought, well, I better text him back. And then I realized I did it. And then the show's starting, so that's why I brought my phone in. And then since he called back, what the hell? Put him on. Anyway, where was I? Yeah. So they pretend to care. Meanwhile, they don't give a shit, and they have to act outraged when comedians like me say things about Chaz Bono. Yet when they say things and they do things that are horribly hurtful.

[Allison Rosen]

Not under the guise of comedy.

[Adam Carolla]

No, they're not on stage, they're doing a TV show and they have sponsors and they did something yesterday, ironically when I was getting ready to take my 5 year olds out that was just so appalling to me. And it wasn't appalling like as a Christian or as a father or, you know, people do that thing where, you know, people do that thing all the time. They go, now that you have kids, it's like, I wasn't for snuffing out two year olds before I had kids. I got news for you. And you know, I was lukewarm on it. Now I'm dead set against it. But the point is, is I had a conscience before I had kids. And I understood when people lost their children that it was a very horrible and traumatic thing for their community and for the immediate family and so on and so forth. Wasn't one of these. Well, I don't know what that's like. I don't have a kid. It's like, I don't know why people do it. Yes, it's true when you hear about somebody who has a child who's sick and you have a child your own, yes, it does tend to resonate and hit home just a little bit more. But this is the kind of thing I just would have been disgusted by whether I had kids or not. This is yesterday's. This is Monday's tmz.

[Allison Rosen]

So this is the clip you were talking about?

[Adam Carolla]

This is the clip I was talking about. And I. Well, you can will this. They're in the room and again, they could have edited around this quite easily. They must shoot ultra fat and then edit it down to 22 minutes or 21 minutes because they just shoot fat. They shoot stories. It's all back and forth. I can tell just from what I know the business that they get a bunch of cameras, they shoot it fat, then they go in and they put in a bunch of VO and they do the graphics and they edit the thing. So they could have easily edited out the 8 to 11 seconds they had of this non joke that wasn't really connected to anything. But let's just see what the young lady in the audience or in the peanut gallery was dressed as for a Halloween costume. But don't you think serial killers have things in common in how they're wired?

[Brian Bishop]

There are certain personality traits in serial killers, right?

[Adam Carolla]

And those are inherent. Kim is Kaylee Anthony. Are we overlooking that? Kim is Kaylee. She has a bag over her head. Trash bag. I'm slutty. Kaylee Anthony. Oh my God.

[Brian Bishop]

You can't do that.

[Adam Carolla]

Is it too soon? That's hysterical.

[Allison Rosen]

Oh, it almost seemed like they were acting shocked. But then the clapping and laughter and the music.

[Adam Carolla]

She's slutty. Caylee Anthony.

[Allison Rosen]

Right? You thought it was sexy. Caylee Anthony.

[Adam Carolla]

I think even my fucked up mind couldn't go that far. She's slutty. Of course now she'd be five and a half, so it'd be game on sexually. The idea that she added the slutty to the dead 2 year old with the garbage bag on the head and the duct tape over the mouth. And yet they'll be on at 6 o' clock with all their sponsorship and they can be fucking morally outraged when some other comedian makes a joke up on stage. Must be nice, folks.

[Allison Rosen]

It's just so exploitative.

[Adam Carolla]

It's fucking pathetic. And I just wish that someone would hold them to the same fucking standard that they hold comedians to. Where's the boycotts? Where's the outrage? How come this isn't getting picked up on? How come this doesn't, you know, I make a fucking joke about Asians and it's all over the fucking place and you make a joke about someone who's dead and nothing. Moving on, don't hear anything about it. Why does anyone pick up on this stuff?

[Giovanni]

Plus, wasn't the sexy thing done that sort of a half ripoff of that crank gankers joke where Sarah Silverman was sexy Hitler or wanted to look for a sexy Hitler costume?

[Allison Rosen]

Well, I think that's a pretty. It's a pretty widespread joke. The idea that any costume, you just add sluttier, sexy, she said slutty.

[Adam Carolla]

Which is to the dead girl. Ugh. With the bag over the head.

[Allison Rosen]

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[Adam Carolla]

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[Brian Bishop]

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[Adam Carolla]

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[Allison Rosen]

And I wonder if there was just even one person who thought, I don't know about this. I don't know.

[Giovanni]

You know, 511 said, you can't do that.

[Adam Carolla]

They put a music sting under it and had him like laughing it up.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh yeah. It's been a whole three years again. She would have been old maid in kindergarten by now.

[Giovanni]

So can we hear it again just from the music? Yeah, I did gloss over that.

[Adam Carolla]

Please, go ahead. But don't you think serial killers have things in common in how they're wired?

[Brian Bishop]

There are certain personality traits in serial.

[Adam Carolla]

Killers and those are inherent. Kim is Kaylee Anthony. Are we overlooking that Kim is Kaylee Anthony? No. No, I'm slutty Kaylee Anthony. Oh, my God, you can't do that. Is it too soon? They're putting in sound effects. I mean, really gonna fucking boycott somebody? How about this? And those ass wipes over telepictures. Those fucking pompous douchebags over telepictures. There's such a pile of fucking ass wipes. Oh, God. The worst fucking 40 minutes of my life is sitting at a meeting with those douchebags. And people do that thing where they go, well, why are you calling telepictures douchebags? What if they want to do another project with you? I would never, ever do a project with those fucking douchebags. Oh, my God. One day, one day soon, I will sit down and tell you the truth about a project that we recently were supposed to work on involving Kevin Smith. And when you're done, you'll think that Kevin Smith and telepictures are the biggest douchebags you've ever met in your fucking entire life.

[Allison Rosen]

What if I start by thinking that?

[Adam Carolla]

All right, go ahead and start by thinking that. I mean, everyone already knows. Telepictures are wild douchebags. Like, every time their name comes up, everyone just goes, holy shit, they're fucking horrible. Like, anybody who works in the business are, like, not only horrible. All the people, like, the top three people are just fucking horrific douchebags. But one day, I'll get Greg Fitzsimmons in here, who's had the misfortune of having to work for them, and we'll do a little expose on my experience with telepictures. And you'll have to bring a fucking vomit bucket in here.

[Allison Rosen]

Okay?

[Adam Carolla]

Just colossal, colossal douchebags.

[Allison Rosen]

Brian has vomit sounds.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, I'll tell you what. Why don't I do a quick little read for one of our fine, fine sponsors, and you get the news primed up. Baby Girl 01. Media Center. That's right. And let me say something, kids. This is why we need your help. Because I want to tell TMZ to fuck off, and I don't want to deal with fucking telepictures and they're douchebagger anymore. I just want to do what we do. And we can easily do this. This is our own pirate ship telepictures. Suck my cock. Adam Carolla says suck his dick. You guys are fucking horrible, horrible hacks. And by the way, the fact that everyone who's ever worked with you around you or near you says the exact same thing about you. At a certain point, does the truth start to get through that thin layer of skin or scales that you have running across your back, you fucking hacks? Does anybody at a certain point, Is everyone just wrong? Are you guys great? Everyone fucking hates working with you. Everybody. Anyway, I don't want to work with those douchebags. No, I want to work with you douchebags.

[Allison Rosen]

Thank you. Wait a minute.

[Adam Carolla]

That's why you have to help us. That's why you have to support our sponsors. That's why when I say we're back up with Amazon, it's game on again. Every time you make a purchase through Amazon, if you click through AdamKroll.com, you hit the banner.

[Allison Rosen]

You keep us in the douche.

[Adam Carolla]

Pow. You keep us in swimming and douche. I'm doing back. I'm doing the backstroke and squirting the douche out of my mouth like it's a cartoon, like a little fountain. That's right. That's me knee deep. And Douche. That's right.

[Allison Rosen]

We're doing synchronized swimming in a pool of Douche.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right. Want to support the show? Use the Amazon link on the website. And you check out the new website, which is launching on Friday, the new app, which is coming out on Friday, finally. And you go out and you support the app and you sign up your friends and we all go sick. 01 Media Center. 01 Media Center. Apple Specialist.

[Giovanni]

Guess where I was today.

[Adam Carolla]

Where?

[Giovanni]

01 Media Center.

[Adam Carolla]

What the f. What's going on?

[Giovanni]

They specialize in laptop repair, especially Apple products. And you know the mouse, the mouse that you click on, it's giving me all sorts of problems. It wasn't working for like six months, so I brought it in, fixed it in a matter of days, got my thing back. Better than new.

[Adam Carolla]

Better than new.01 Media Center. Apple Specialist. Founded by post production specialists. So they've been building custom computers for TV and radio and film. We have them here. We use them here, here at the shop. Apple certified technicians available for computer repairs. Brian can tell you, you'll appreciate this, too.

[Giovanni]

The guy was telling me a story when I was there. I was like, oh, how's the thing going? You know, we talk about you guys a lot and refer a lot of people here. He goes, oh, man. I've had a couple fans, like, call me from the show who, like, are actually high up in the entertainment industry. They run departments or divisions or whatever. And he's like, Yeah, I need 40 computers by the end of the week. And that's like a big sale for them. You know what I mean? That's.

[Adam Carolla]

That's the best part. The best part about this whole thing is you guys supporting our sponsors who support us. 310-651-8488. Or you can check them out at 01mediacenter.com. I'm not saying go out and buy a computer if you don't need one. I'm saying if you do need one, let's go with one who supports the show. 01 Media Center. All right. Allison Rosen.

[Allison Rosen]

That's me.

[Adam Carolla]

You got the news?

[Allison Rosen]

Sure do.

[Adam Carolla]

Live from the International News center next to Donnie's minibike, this is the news with Alison Rosen.

[Allison Rosen]

Attorneys representing Casey Anthony invoked her Fifth Amendment right against self incrimination 60 times during a deposition given in a civil suit against her brought by Zenida Gonzalez, the woman Anthony said kidnapped Kaylee Gonzalez claimed she.

[Adam Carolla]

Her attorneys went, we're going Ollie north on him. And she said, who? Oh, the porn star? No, no. You know what? Moving on. Don't say anything. We're moving on.

[Allison Rosen]

Gonzalez claims she never met Anthony or her daughter. Gonzalez's attorneys say Gonzalez was questioned by the police in Kaylee's disappearance.

[Adam Carolla]

Is Gonzalez the one where she's like a woman named Maria Conchita Escuela Gonzalez Romero Tabatino pinata.

[Allison Rosen]

She was Catholic.

[Adam Carolla]

Stole my chimichanga. Stole my kids.

[Allison Rosen]

Yes, it's that one.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Allison Rosen]

Ms. Chimichanga.

[Adam Carolla]

Mm.

[Allison Rosen]

Gonzalez's attorneys say Gonzalez was questioned by the police and Caylee's disappearance was kicked out of her apartment complex, lost her job, and that she and her two daughters received death threats as a result of media attention in the case.

[Adam Carolla]

Can I say something to some of my ethnic sisters, the two and a half that are listening to the show right now? There is a look in life. There's a good look. There's a. And then there's a bad luck. There's not your luck. There's just a good look and a bad look. You know what I mean? There's plenty of beautiful Latin ladies, but.

[Allison Rosen]

Don'T just be yourself.

[Adam Carolla]

No, what I'm saying is there's a version of hot that Latin women do that doesn't work real well.

[Allison Rosen]

Is that it?

[Adam Carolla]

Meanwhile, there's Salma Hayek. You know what I mean? Don't do the thing where you shave your eyebrows and then you draw them in with a Sharpie, and then you take your black hair and you dye it orange, and then you pull it back and then you put on too much kissing potion.

[Allison Rosen]

Do you wear giant earrings with your name in them?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Allison Rosen]

No, she's not wearing those.

[Adam Carolla]

Not hot. There's never been a situation where I've been with a group of dudes where a guy said, how come you didn't hook up with that chick at the kegger? Nah, she didn't have the sharpied on eyebrows, and her hair wasn't a weird color orange, and she wasn't freaking me out with massive size hoop earrings. Never. Never's come up. Never's come up. So listen, Latina chicks, the only folks that are gonna think that look is hot are drunken gangbangers out for a rapin'mee haw.

[Allison Rosen]

Some people think that look is hot. Drunken gang banger out for raping.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm just saying, who are you looking to attract? And you ain't gonna get much.

[Allison Rosen]

Do you think her eyebrows make her look guilty?

[Adam Carolla]

I've said many times?

[Allison Rosen]

Or do I telegraph innocence?

[Adam Carolla]

If I ever shave my eyebrows off and then draw them back with a Sharpie. I want them to draw them back so it looks like I'm listening. That's my whole thing in life.

[Allison Rosen]

I wonder if you could get Botox so it looks like you're listening.

[Adam Carolla]

I think I just did. Yeah.

[Giovanni]

One of our rays slightly higher.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. I'm just saying, as long as you're gonna draw them back. Draw them. Let's get some mileage out of this.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

You know what I mean? Sort of the equivalent of the glasses that have the eyes on it when you want to nap in class. But this would be for the relationship at home, you know what I mean? It works for the kids, the wife, the nanny, it's all good.

[Giovanni]

Can you make these eyebrows say, tell me more?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, Well, I don't know. I don't want to encourage. I want empathy mixed in with I feel your pain. I want. I'm listening.

[Allison Rosen]

Man of few words, but compassion.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm listening. I want to feel your pain. I'm empathetic. Yeah. That's what I'm listening.

[Brian Bishop]

Looking for.

[Adam Carolla]

Sorry.

[Allison Rosen]

Anthony herself said little in the deposition, but acknowledged she was aware she was being sued by Gonzalez. She also said she has not spoken to her brother in the past six months or her parents since October 14, 2008. Her lawyer didn't permit her to answer questions including whether she'd ever met Gonzalez and whether a person named Zenaida was ever Kaylee's nanny. She was also not allowed to answer questions about whether she considered herself a good mother the last day she saw the two year old alive or whether she drowned in the pool, as the defense claimed. So basically, she couldn't answer anything.

[Adam Carolla]

So here's this thing, it's this O.J. thing. Where's the killer then? Like, she's not the killer, Then who is the killer?

[Allison Rosen]

And she's going to need to plead.

[Adam Carolla]

The fifth when the killer never surfaces. At a certain point, don't we realize who the killer is? Like O.J. s killer, you know, or the Nicole Brown killer. You know what I love about dudes? Dudes would still fuck her, no problem. And it doesn't translate. There's no women. You wouldn't be hot for Scott. What's his name, who killed his wife? Remember Scott Peterson, right?

[Allison Rosen]

Bite your tongue. No, he's not my type at all.

[Adam Carolla]

You know what I'm saying?

[Allison Rosen]

I do know what you're saying. Although there is a young Ted Kaczynski photo where I thought he might not have been that bad looking way back when. Before he went unabombered.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Allison Rosen]

You know?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, he's got a little Harrison Ford in him.

[Allison Rosen]

He really did rugged. Asked why he was invoking Anthony's right against self incrimination, Greene, that's her lawyer, said, according to the transcript.

[Adam Carolla]

Ooh, Young Ted Kaczynski.

[Allison Rosen]

Is that him?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Allison Rosen]

See what I'm saying?

[Adam Carolla]

That didn't take long. Yeah. Looking good.

[Giovanni]

Looks like Clintius would have looked, but.

[Allison Rosen]

Now, see, why did he become a crazy guy who wrote a manifesto in a cabin as opposed to a crooner?

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know, but it's one of those. It's one of those things where they used to take those. They used to take those class pictures where they'd go, all right, sit on the stool, face the camera, and look over there. Thank you. Huh? What? Yes. I don't know what's going on. I like it. It's a more flattering shot. The straight ahead shot looks like a mug shot. I mean, we're looking at a mug shot. But, I mean, they used to do those pictures where they didn't do the straight up shot, they did the over to the side shot. It worked well with the men and the women.

[Allison Rosen]

And then they also used to offer something you could order where there would be a bunch of looking to side shots, sort of hovering around, looking at straightforward sort of Sears or JCPenney shot.

[Adam Carolla]

Remember, they had those packages, you could get the desk size and the wallet.

[Allison Rosen]

Size, and then you had to figure, like, how many of my friends are really gonna want. These were fun times.

[Adam Carolla]

Dad's wallet would be bursting with pictures of his kids.

[Giovanni]

You know, who could play him in a movie? A clean cut. Peter Sarsgaard, the actor from Golden State.

[Allison Rosen]

And from that shitty movie Skeleton Key, which really scared me. Anyway.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm sure he gets that in prison all the time. By the way, I'll bet you 40 years ago you look like a young Stephen Sarsgaard.

[Giovanni]

It's Peter Sarsgard. Yes, I do get it all the time.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Sorry.

[Allison Rosen]

Quote, I need not explain our factual basis other than to tell you that it could tend to incriminate and provide a link in the chain of evidence that could be used against Anthony.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Allison Rosen]

Nailed it. Asked by Gonzalez's attorney indication, John Morgan, what pending criminal case that applies to Greene said, we made our objection and that's all I'm going to state.

[Adam Carolla]

Snap.

[Allison Rosen]

Morgan told Green he anticipates a hearing before a judge on a motion to compel Anthony to answer some of these questions. Green said that taking it to a judge is Quote, the best thing to do.

[Adam Carolla]

Mm.

[Allison Rosen]

All right, now, this is a tangent, but how annoying is it when you're asking someone questions and they won't answer at all? Yeah, I mean, that's had to have been a very frustrating deposition.

[Adam Carolla]

Tangent. Well. Well, when you go into court, shouldn't you have to answer the fucking questions? You know what I mean?

[Allison Rosen]

Yes. Or you can plead the Fifth. Although this was just a deposition. They weren't even. It wasn't even an actual trial. Anthony has been ordered to retest.

[Adam Carolla]

This guy looks like a combination of the dad from Juneau who's now doing the Allstate commercial and Ed Harris, because they spilled the same blood in the same mud in the same courthouse.

[Allison Rosen]

And a tiny bit. Ben Bailey.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Wait a minute. Who's Ben Bailey?

[Allison Rosen]

The cash cab guy.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, that guy. Ooh, does have some cash gab in him. No, it's got more than a dusting of cash gab in him. Yeah.

[Allison Rosen]

Dash Anthony has been ordered to repay more than 217,000 to authorities for the cost of investigating Kaylee's disappearance.

[Adam Carolla]

You know, one thing I miss about Kimmel, I miss doing this in the office with him, where he'd go, that looks nothing like the cash cab guy. And I'd go, well, it has to look something like him. Nothing, Nothing, nothing. It's like you're calling me insane. You realize that, right? You can say, I don't think it looks that much like him, but you can't say he looks nothing like him when it kind of looks like him. He told me that once when we were on a cruise, there's a Peaches and Herbs song that came on, and I said, this sounds like peaches and Herb. And he said, it sounds nothing like peach and herb. And it was peaches and herbs. So I don't know how peach and herb could not sound anything, but they successfully in this one song. Successfully sounded nothing like themselves.

[Allison Rosen]

Now, did he get a little talking to about yes and. Or did he get a free pass?

[Adam Carolla]

He was a cash cow. Forget the cash cab.

[Allison Rosen]

Oh, all right. Well, speaking of Jimmy Kimmel.

[Giovanni]

Hold on one second real quick. You know, you're right, Adam, about only being able. You have to answer some questions in court, right?

[Adam Carolla]

We now have them all up.

[Allison Rosen]

You know what I'm noticing, though? We are all geniuses. Because they look like. He looks like all of them.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah. Either, though, JK or JS or BS Simmons or Rawlings. The Juno dad. I say the Juno dad's the leader in the clubhouse right now. Although they have him at different ages. Ed Harris is a little bit. A little bit older. Cash cap guys a little bit younger. I don't know. All right. Anyway. Sorry. Yes, you should have to answer when you're in court. Otherwise, where else are you going to answer?

[Giovanni]

But the Fifth Amendment's an important amendment. How about this? You can only use it like coaches have timeouts in a game or challenge flags.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Giovanni]

You only have so many. Makes it more dramatic.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. You just can't keep passing one after the next.

[Giovanni]

Sorry.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah. Jimmy Kimmel will host the White House. Oh, Jimmy Kimmel.

[Adam Carolla]

Why did I just bring him up?

[Allison Rosen]

Why did you just bring him up?

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Allison Rosen]

Because you knew that I wanted to talk about this story.

[Adam Carolla]

But I didn't know you were gonna bring him up. Right.

[Allison Rosen]

You did not. It's true.

[Adam Carolla]

Were you gonna bring him up next?

[Allison Rosen]

No, I moved him up because you brought him up.

[Adam Carolla]

That's good. That's good pod.

[Allison Rosen]

Thanks.

[Adam Carolla]

You give good pod.

[Giovanni]

Good casting.

[Adam Carolla]

You give good pod. Peaches and herbs. Big hit. You give good pod.

[Allison Rosen]

You give good pod. Is like a new media compliment, but also something that you might say to an animal that has tentacles.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Allison Rosen]

Like an alien.

[Adam Carolla]

See, that was mediocre, Pod. Ironically. Yeah.

[Giovanni]

Back to good potting.

[Adam Carolla]

I know this is. This is exciting. And I've been hanging out and seeing Jimmy a lot with Mike's wedding and bachelor party and whatnot. And I was with Mike lynch today working on some book stuff, and lynch just sort of said it the wrong way. He's like, yeah, Jimmy. You know, like when he hosted the White House Correspondent Dinner. And I was like, he hosted the White House Correspondent? How come I didn't hear about that? Then I started immediately feeling bad because I was around him and I wasn't. I didn't compliment him or say anything. And I realized, no, no, it's coming up good.

[Allison Rosen]

What's wrong with Mike Lynch's sense of time, though?

[Adam Carolla]

He slipped out sideways or something. Yes.

[Allison Rosen]

So he will be hosting the White House Correspondents Association's 98th annual dinner.

[Adam Carolla]

It's a big deal.

[Allison Rosen]

It is next April 28th. He said, I look forward to being a part of the White House Correspondents association dinner. I love dinner. That's his statement. Traditionally a star studded event attended by the president and first lady, other senior government officials and members of the press corps, as well as TV and movie celebrities. The dinner features a barrage of zingers aimed at those who run the country. Proceeds from the dinner go towards scholarships and awards aimed at supporting aspiring journalists and recognizing Excellence in the profession. Reuters journalist Karen Bohan, president of the White House Correspondent association, said Jimmy's humor is sophisticated and edgy while appealing to a wide audience. We are thrilled that Jimmy has accepted our invitation to be the featured comedian at our annual dinner.

[Adam Carolla]

Exciting. Wow.

[Allison Rosen]

What are you gonna wear?

[Adam Carolla]

That is an honor. Jesus Christ. Yeah, we gotta go down there. I'm gonna stuff myself in the Samsonite right now just to play it safe. Speaking of Jimmy, we have a friend named Chris Bianco who's world famous pizza guy and he's nuts and he's into pizza and he's a. You know, Jimmy's a crazy foodie and told us over at Phil Rosenthal's house, and he's crazy with the pizza. And he's making the pizza and talking crust and sauce and he's bringing up Chris, Bianca. It's all this thing, white guy's out of prom conversations. And he's got the, you know, he's got the pizza oven in the house and so on and so forth. That's Chris. Yeah, that's Chris and Mike. August when we're in Arizona, by the way, dates coming up in Phoenix coming up at the orpheum Theater, Saturday, December 17th. Chris, you know, so Phil was telling me Chris has, like, flower lung. And I was like, I know. That's what I wanted to do. And I'm like, what do you mean? It's like. It's like coal miners lung from. Well, I mean, if you think about it, well, anytime you suck up airborne particulates and you ingest, you know, I mean, whether it's, you know, coal or flour, it's still bad for you. Still bad for you. You know, whatever that dust is that you're sucking up, it's in your lungs. And he's been throwing pizza around for so long that he has this and he's like, not allowed in the kitchen and can't be around it. And I don't know, all the ext. And it didn't seem exquisitely serious. And he's a great guy, seems in good health and all that stuff, but it's weird. Ever heard about that? Ever thought about that?

[Allison Rosen]

No. But it makes you wonder about all the other pizza throwers, dough throwers, Pizza makers.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Yeah. And what happened and how it works.

[Allison Rosen]

That's kind of awful. And yet I can't stop almost laughing. I'm awful.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. And the problem is, if you're one of those guys who buys it because you're cleaning up around 9 11, you get the. Oh, man, you do the pizza thing. It starts with a chuckle and then. I'm sorry. I'm sorry to hear about the. Anyway, he's lost. Anyway. He needs a transplant. That's the point. We'll get the word out. But still funny, gotta admit. Yeah.

[Allison Rosen]

Sad.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Mm.

[Allison Rosen]

Will he ever be able to go back to his love?

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know the full story. All I know is Phil was telling this to me about Chris, and as he was telling it, about time he finished it, another guy walked up. Up, brought his name up and said the same thing. So evidently, the word is traveling fast in the foodie circles. I think he's okay. I just don't think he's allowed to go in that environment.

[Allison Rosen]

People who work around powdered sugar must also face similar danger.

[Giovanni]

And chalk all the beignet makers in New Orleans.

[Adam Carolla]

I know, but they're a pretty hearty crew. Nothing can get them down.

[Giovanni]

First Katrina, now this.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah. So we wish him well. Anyway, great news for Jimmy. Exciting.

[Allison Rosen]

Semi tangent. You know the air spray makeup that's supposed to be bad for you because that. For people who go on air and who are on the receiving end, the business end of the air sprayed makeup gun, because you can inhale that and that's not good.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, they put it in an airless sprayer or they put it in a spray gun and they have a little mini compressor and it's like. And they just put it in there like an airbrush. It's airbrushed. I mean, like you'd airbrush the side of a custom van. They just apply the makeup that way. And some makeup artists prefer it, and then others use it when they have to do a mass situation, like where they're doing an award. Yeah, but like, John Goodman comes in there and he really. He's had a breakout. No, where they're. When they're doing an award show and there's a bunch of dancers and a bunch of extras and a bunch of whatever, and you have to get 40 people in and out of that makeup chair. They'll spray it on. But whenever they spray it on, and I've had it a time or two, you're breathing it in.

[Allison Rosen]

I always hold my breath and almost die.

[Adam Carolla]

Me too. And then whether it's that. Again, like I've said, whether it's that or the leaf blower, we've decided that secondhand cigarette smoke is what's gonna kill you. And I've been the one saying anything that goes into the air that you suck into your lungs is bad for you. And I would argue, as I've said, the shit that the leaf blower kicks up has gotta be a lot worse than the guy who's smoking 20ft away from you. It's just a lot more concentrated. It's solid. It actually weighs something. And it's going into your lungs. And what the fuck is the difference between a Marlboro Light at 20ft or just Maybelline makeup that is shoved up your fucking nose? It's either in your lungs or flowers or debris from 9 11. I'll agree there's heavy metals and other things that are toxic and whatever, but either it's trapped in your lungs or it's not. Whether you're making pizza or digging, or digging, you know, firefighters out of rubble or getting makeup applied. Whatever it is, I'll take the fucking secondhand smoke over all the rest of that shit any day of the week. All right?

[Allison Rosen]

Yes.

[Giovanni]

Can I ask you guys a secondhand smoke related question? We recently bought a house and a couple friends came over and, you know, politely, they're smokers, and they went outside and they went out back and smoked. And that was very polite. But they came inside and the whole, you know, the secondhand smoke, especially in my condition, you know, it's sort of especially bothersome. Yeah, the balding hurts. So we want to make our house a secondhand SME. Secondhand smoke free zone. And that's going to become problematic because Christie's mom smokes like every, like hour. You know what I'm saying? Every half an hour. So how do you politely tell, you know, an in law or your own parent or whatever you like, what's the proper protocol here? Like, we're gonna ask that you go outside, like down the block if you want to smoke. Like, is that.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, there's a couple.

[Giovanni]

You haven't brought it up yet.

[Adam Carolla]

There's a couple things, I think if you're gonna throw a party, for instance, people are gonna drink and they're gonna smoke. You can ask them to go outside, you can ask them to shut the door behind them sort of thing. But if you're going to throw a party, it's like saying, I'm throwing a party, but I want you all to bust your own dishes and put everything away. And it's like, there's going to be a mess. And part of that mess is your house going to smell like secondhand smoke for 12 hours after the party. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. So I would say a.

[Giovanni]

What's the thing is, because not just the smoke but them smelling like smoke and then coming to the house.

[Adam Carolla]

Point is this. If you're having a party and that party consists of more than eight people, tough shit, okay, you can't have a party again. It's like having a party and asking people not to drink because I don't drink or something like that. You can't have the party. So I would a, make an exception for the party. But you know, once a year when I have a party, all right, air the place out the next day. Two, I agree with you, which is now that first off, everything used to smell like smoke. Like doctor's office and airplanes and grandparents houses. Like you'd go into people's houses, they smelled like smoke. Buses smell like smoke. All of Vegas, it all smelled like the inside of a casino. Now nothing smells like smoke. So when somebody smokes and then they come back in or something, you go, whoa, what's that? It's so abrupt. It's so apparent now. When it didn't used to be, it was just like, didn't bother you. Yeah, I don't know, it was like having some old grandpa smoke the cigar. Like it didn't seem to bother anybody. Now it bothers the shit out of everyone. I would say party, forget about it. Just go outside and smoke. Family members. Yeah, it's touched. Go. Eh, I would, I mean they're little creative ways. You can, you know, put, put, put a little fan on em, you know, make them a little area that kind of blows it off kind of thing, you know, I mean that's a smoking section. You don't have to make love to your mother in law. You don't have to sleep in the same bed with her.

[Giovanni]

I mean, I wish I knew that.

[Adam Carolla]

Two, no, for the first two years you have to do it. That's what I'm saying. It's tradition.

[Giovanni]

I'm on pace.

[Adam Carolla]

The point is this. I would chalk it up to one of those things where it's like, how often does she stay with you? How often does she come over? It's an annoyance. But I'm sure there are many annoyances that people have. I think you could tell her definitely go outside and you could definitely just shut the door behind her and you could ask her to spin around five times real fast. You know, like, look, if you're gonna smoke, take a walk around the block, old lady. But party, forget about it. But generally I would say, look, what is it, two days out of the year for you or five days out of the year for you? I don't Know how many days I'd try to get over it? I really would. I mean, don't let her in the bedroom.

[Allison Rosen]

Is it a health concern or is it that you don't like the smell?

[Giovanni]

There is genuine health concern, but for me, it's more. The smell is pervasive.

[Adam Carolla]

It's not a health. 80, 20. It's not a health. It's not a health thing.

[Giovanni]

Well, for me it might be.

[Adam Carolla]

No, it's not gonna cost. It's not gonna do anything to your tumor.

[Giovanni]

Not my immune system, though. 80, 20. This is not a huge concern, but.

[Adam Carolla]

It is worth mentioning, I think, psychologically. Yeah. Nobody's got cancer wants to smell smoke. Definitely. With you on that, I don't think it's gonna. It's gonna push it one way or the other. I couldn't even see a tenth of 1% like you smelling. It's gonna do it. But if your blood pressure goes up a little bit, maybe there's something there. I think because your guys rocking a tumor. I'd say you play the tumor card. I'd say you get to play that tumor card.

[Giovanni]

I don't play that often too. It's handicaps. It's parking outside the meters and it's. Yeah, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Let's say this is one. I would say this is one your wife could definitely. Where? She could definitely play that tumor card.

[Giovanni]

Good to know.

[Adam Carolla]

Good. Yeah. All right.

[Giovanni]

Thanks, you guys.

[Adam Carolla]

Glad we could help. But again, if you throw a party, come on, people are gonna be drinking.

[Allison Rosen]

That's some of the news. I'm Alison Rosen. Zipit Kahn.

[Adam Carolla]

That was the news with Allison Rosen. Yeah. Telling you guys excited about the new web launch. The new website coming out on Friday looks spectacular. And until then, you can go to aceanywhere.com for all the latest news and you tell a friend about our app, which is coming out Friday, which is going to be great. Put in your iPhone. And a lot of people are saying, what about Android? Put it in your Android and. Or your iPhone. The person who does the best job of spreading the word is going to win themselves a trip to Los Angeles. They can be on the podcast. They'll have a beer with me, we'll fly out, we'll put you up ace anywhere. And like I said, what's his nose? Already got over. Yeah.

[Allison Rosen]

102.

[Adam Carolla]

Already got 102 folks to come on over and check it out. We can keep track of your ass. That's what I love about the computer. Yes, Paul, Brian pointed out. Yeah.

[Giovanni]

The one beer.

[Adam Carolla]

It's never just a one beer. No, never, never. When I say beer, I'm talking about a six pack. That's right. Easily, easily. Ah, yes. Stamps. Com. Stamps.com. where was I? Better things to do. That's the theme of this one. Who the hell wants to go to the post office? Speaking of smoke, I just remember just being dragged along everywhere.

[Allison Rosen]

Nothing good happens at the post office.

[Adam Carolla]

No. And it's depressing. You look at wanted posters, right? It's weird old tile. Every once in a while you see the P.O. boxes and you go, what goes on here? Who's using these things? How does this work?

[Allison Rosen]

Why are there different sizes of them?

[Adam Carolla]

And who's got the keys to this? And what's up? Don't they have an apartment?

[Allison Rosen]

Do they open diaries as well?

[Adam Carolla]

I don't trust these people. You gotta wait in line. Yeah.

[Allison Rosen]

What if they receive a poster?

[Adam Carolla]

Mm, that's right.

[Giovanni]

The only good thing about the post office was. Oh, what kind of fun stamps do they have?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Giovanni]

The Muppets.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. And now. Love Star Wars. Now with the Internet that blooms off the rose, you can look at a picture of James Dean anywhere. Trystamps.com you can print official US postage using your own computer and printer. What a day. What a time we're living in. No more trips, no more hassle. You can do it with.

[Allison Rosen]

No more putting on pants letters.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right. Do everything from your underpants. And I like to wear mine inside out and backwards just to thumb my nose at the man. Actually, it's not in my nose. Special offer, no risk trial. 100 bonus bucks. That's right, 100 bucks is the bonus offer. And it includes a digital scale so you can weigh out your stuff, you can figure out your postage. And 45 bucks worth of free postage. What a way to get started. And you get an extra 10 bucks worth of postage only if you enter Adam, go to stamps.com, click on the microphone at the top right at the homepage. And you type in my name, Adam. And you go to stamps.com and use the promo code, Adam. What else is there to know? You can do all your stuff if you have a small business, but even if you don't have a small business, even if you're just lazy. Lazy. And like I said, big packages, small packages, letters, whatever. Just do it all from the safety and convenience of your own home. All right, quick break. Back with your relationship calls next. And now, Alcoa presents Definitely Not a Jew on the Adam Corolla show. Dateline. Okala Florida. A 23 year old man was charged with trespassing after being caught defecating on the steps of an elementary school. Definitely not a Jew.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. Do relationship calls, which everyone seems to enjoy. And we'll do a little more news again. Dag coming in back tomorrow. I can't get enough of that dude. He's really. He's like one of those barbecue Pringles. Yes. You can't just pop one of those babies. I gotta tell you, there's a lot of chips out there. You know, they got the sea salt ones and they got the vinegar salt ones and they got the ranch ones and stuff. Still don't think you do better than a barbecue. Yeah, I always like a barbecue chip. And, you know, I like them puff chips, those puff barbecues. See those puff ones now?

[Giovanni]

No, what are puffs ones?

[Adam Carolla]

They're, you know, they're like. They're like potato chips where they're not deep fried, they're puffed or baked Pop chips.

[Allison Rosen]

Oh, pop chips.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, sorry, they're called pop chips. Yeah, they're puffy. Yeah.

[Giovanni]

The barbecue Pringles are amongst chips.

[Adam Carolla]

No, but they're their own food group. Like Twinkie. Yeah, yeah.

[Giovanni]

Those are the pops you're talking about.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Love them pop chips. Easy to go through those bad boys. All righty. So we got your phone calls. Got some more news coming up. I'm gonna be at the anaheim Grove, Thursday, December15. A lot of shows through December. Chicago, Detroit, Philly, Denver, Fresno, Sacramento, Anaheim. As I said, the Grove.

[Allison Rosen]

Chris had his prom there.

[Adam Carolla]

Really?

[Allison Rosen]

And my band played there before it was the Grove.

[Adam Carolla]

Really? Who's Chris?

[Allison Rosen]

Oh, I don't know.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay. Anyway, Phoenix all coming up in December. So you can go to the website and especially the new and improved ones starting Friday and, you know, check out all the dates. We're coming to a town near you. All right. You want to hop on the phones. There's a guy from Auckland, New Zealand. Hey, Tim. Let's see if I can work this out. Timmy. Tim. Hey, good morning. Good morning. What time is it there in New Zealand?

[Caller]

It's actually 5 o' clock tomorrow in the evening.

[Adam Carolla]

I love that. I wonder how my.

[Allison Rosen]

What happens in the future.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I wonder how my day was.

[Caller]

It's been a gorgeous day here.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, man. I'll tell you, like I said, I met one guy from New Zealand. His name was Fraser and he was nuts. And I work construction with him and he did a lot of sailing. Evidently you guys like to sail, right?

[Caller]

Yeah, this is the city of sails here in Auckland.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, is it? City of sails. Hold on, calm down, gws. It's not what you think. It's totally different.

[Allison Rosen]

I'm getting all my nickels together.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

No, no, no, no. Different. So, Tim, now, my buddy Frazier from back in the day when we do earthquake rehab work, he gave me Vegemite. Do you do the Vegemite thing in New Zealand as well?

[Caller]

I tried it once and it is absolutely horrible.

[Adam Carolla]

It's horrid.

[Caller]

And they love it. They love it here.

[Adam Carolla]

It's as if you're fucking with people. It's like you're going, oh, we love it.

[Allison Rosen]

It's fermented smegma.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Like, they go, we love this. Oh, we love it. It's like kids going, oh, you haven't tried this. Oh. And it's just paste with spit in it. It's bitter, it's black, it's weird tasting.

[Allison Rosen]

It tastes like nothing that you should eat.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. I mean, it has. It's like somebody broke open a battery and spread it on a muffin and you're like, fuck this.

[Allison Rosen]

Right?

[Adam Carolla]

But do you guys do it in New Zealand?

[Caller]

They have it regular, they swear, put it on toast with butter and they say it's the best.

[Adam Carolla]

If I went to a diner or a restaurant for breakfast in New Zealand and I said, oh, could I have some vegg Vegemite? Would they produce some for me?

[Caller]

Oh, yeah. They have it out like little packets of jam and butter and stuff. They have it in those little.

[Adam Carolla]

Ketchup packets. I would like to really do called the fucked Up Cultural Food Challenge. Like, this week, it's Vegemite against poi. Next week, tripe is going against tripe because tripe got drunk and forgot who was partnered up. You know what I mean?

[Giovanni]

Haggis gets a first round buy, right?

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah. And then loot Fisk somewhere in there.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah. And just. Oh, and the Jews with all the congealed aspect, the fish that. The jello.

[Allison Rosen]

And there's Marmite too.

[Adam Carolla]

There's Marmite.

[Allison Rosen]

There's Marmite and Vegemite both gross.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, man. You could wash it down with some Clamato. An awesome meal. What is Vegemite? Is it a root? Is it what makes it so bitter?

[Caller]

It's a yeast based. I'd say brewer's yeast is the only thing I've had that's worse.

[Adam Carolla]

Brewer's yeast is horrible.

[Allison Rosen]

What is that? What's the application of that?

[Adam Carolla]

Brewer's yeast is. Brewer's yeast is like back in the day, people put it in, like, health drinks, brewer's yeast was considered healthy. And so you'd put a couple of tablespoons into your health shake and brewer's yeast is one of the only things that I've ever eaten that sort of makes you gag as you're drinking it. Like, if you put it in your shake and you start drinking, you'll go. It makes you gag. It's weird. It's like. What is that, ipecat?

[Allison Rosen]

Yes, it's the syrup of ipecac. Makes you throw up.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Brewer's yeast will fuck your shit up.

[Allison Rosen]

Is it a similar taste to Vegemite?

[Adam Carolla]

Vegemite to me was bitter tasting, whereas brewers yeast had a. Just a. I'm gonna yak all over the shake. Sorry. Anyway, yeah, sorry for that. And again, are you guys really into Vegemite or are you just fucking with Yankees? All right, but. So you're a guy from New Zealand who freely admits that stuff is horrible?

[Caller]

Yeah, yeah. I mean, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay, what's your question? I'm sorry, Tim.

[Caller]

No, it's all good. So I've. I've been divorced now for about five years and I've. I have no problem talking to women. I'm perfectly comfortable with engaging them in conversation. And, you know, I go to bars. I'm relatively, you know, cool. You know, I don't feel like I'm an outcast at all. But I don't know, you know, I've tried dating websites and stuff like that, and I just haven't been able to find, you know, a real girlfriend. So I didn't know. What would you do? You know, in the current climate, if you are struggling to meet someone, you know, you're dumb enough.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't think there's a better time. And by the way, has anyone got any split ends? You guys know split ends are from New Zealand, right? The New Zealand band. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And one of the guys in that band is named Tim. I do believe it's not me.

[Caller]

I don't think I'd have any trouble meeting girls if I was in a band.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I don't think I gotta hear some split ends. I don't think there's a better time to be a single dude. I really don't. First off, your dating age range is basically 18 to 10 years older than you. I mean, you got a fucking wide berth when it comes to dating. You can date 21 year olds, no one's gonna give a shit. And you can date 38 year olds and no one's gonna give a shit. I mean you or 41 year olds and 19 year olds. I mean you.

[Allison Rosen]

She's pussy for the grass.

[Adam Carolla]

It's pussy for the grabbing. It's a pinata filled with pussy and you're holding a mop handle, my friend. I know Brian like the back of my hand. Tim Ferriss, I think those are the split ends. Maybe they went on to do Crowded House. Am I making all this up?

[Allison Rosen]

Tim Ferriss is the guy who came on the podcast.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, Tim Finn. Yeah, the Finn brothers. That's right.

[Alec Baldwin]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. So first off, you got a nice 20 year birth there of literally of folks you can date. Number two, all these websites are out there. Number three, all chicks. And again, here's my take. And Allison, you tell me what you think when you meet chicks that are 20, 21. They don't think they're ever going to get old. They think they're always going to look hot and their tits are always going to be perky and they're never going to have a problem and all guys are going to treat them great and all that kind of shit. And somewhere around 30 they start to get humble. Much easier to date a 30 year old chick than a 20 year old chick because a 20 year old chick is the belle of the ball. Especially if she's hot and she thinks it's a party that'll never end. Women that start getting into their 30s start to see the end a little bit of being the belle of the ball and their attitude changes drastically. I have found through personal experience.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah, well, I don't think it's as much that you're thinking, oh, I have to lower my standards as much as, you know, you just start rethinking what it is you're looking for in someone else and you start looking for things that are genuine.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it's not lowering your standards. It's. I'm not gonna date another dick. He calls me by throwing a few revs in his Kawasaki when he wants me to come outside versus getting off the motorcycle coming up, taking the helmet off and knocking on the door. You're doing a donut on my lawn. That's not your signal for me to come out and get on the back of the bike. Young guys are douchebags. Women go through enough of the rebels. Troublemakers, bad boys. And they get it out of their system. And Tim doesn't sound like a bad boy, which is hard. But now what, what do you do for a living?

[Caller]

I'm actually, I'm a teacher, actually.

[Adam Carolla]

Should. What Age kind of work.

[Caller]

I teach. I teach mathematics. So maybe that puts the nerd back in there.

[Adam Carolla]

And you guys say grade five. You put the grade in front of it.

[Caller]

Now we say year. So like year nine would be like eighth grade in the States.

[Adam Carolla]

Uh huh.

[Allison Rosen]

Do you call it maths?

[Caller]

Yeah, we say maths.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow. And also you're living in a country that's sort of limited in its populace, right?

[Caller]

Yeah. Only 4 million people in the whole country. And you know, it's a big city though there's 1.4 million here in Auckland. So you'd think. I think it's some choice.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. I mean, here's what I would do A. I would use the websites. I would definitely use all that social network stuff if I was single these days, number one. Number two, I'd go old fashioned and use my friends, Number three.

[Brian Bishop]

Hey.

[Adam Carolla]

Hey. Sorry to interrupt. Alec Baldwin on line too. Alec Baldwin on line two. Yes. All right. Right, hold on a second. Eight. Tim, good luck with you. Shit. Baldwin song. Hello?

[Alec Baldwin]

Did you just dump Tim?

[Adam Carolla]

I dumped Tim from Auckland to speak to you. Alec Baldwin.

[Alec Baldwin]

You got a guy calling you from Australia.

[Adam Carolla]

It's five in the afternoon over there. What's he give a.

[Alec Baldwin]

He's got plenty of time to figure it out before he goes to bed.

[Adam Carolla]

Baldwin. You know what was funny?

[Alec Baldwin]

What's going on, buddy?

[Adam Carolla]

How are you? Thanks for talking.

[Alec Baldwin]

I'm doing really well, man. How you doing?

[Adam Carolla]

I want to say a couple things.

[Alec Baldwin]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

One is I was going through just a box of sort of keepsakes this afternoon, this very afternoon. And right at the top of it was a handwritten note that you gave me some years back when you did my late night TV show. And I thought, oh, this is nice. And I thought, no, I kept it because it was Alec Baldwin. And number two, you look like you're in phenomenal shape. Something's going on. You got the aids? You getting in the Pilates? What's going on? Are blue. Both.

[Alec Baldwin]

I'm taking that Pilates you take when you have aids. It's aids, Pilates.

[Adam Carolla]

What are you doing? Because I spoke to you a few years ago when I was doing Dancing with the Stars and you went, man, just, just. I wanted. I just want to dig in for six months. Like just go at it two hours a day, you know, just sweat right through my underpants. But something happened, right? Something's going on. What's happening?

[Alec Baldwin]

I stopped eating sugar.

[Adam Carolla]

Is that what it is?

[Alec Baldwin]

Yeah, I mean, I really really just. I mean I worked out and I just thought to myself, you know, what am I. What do I need to change? I needed to change something and it was diet and I stopped eating sugar. I think I dropped like 30 pounds in like three or four months just.

[Adam Carolla]

By stopping eating sugar.

[Alec Baldwin]

Yeah. No dessert, no cookies, cake, pie, ice cream, mint, scum, candy, nuts. Nothing.

[Allison Rosen]

Not even during that time of the month.

[Alec Baldwin]

Are we good?

[Adam Carolla]

Uh. Oh, I don't know what that is. Hold on, let me try putting it on hold. Let me see if we can work this out.

[Giovanni]

You know what that is?

[Adam Carolla]

What is that? Tim. Oh, oh, hold on. I got rid of Tim. Sorry.

[Alec Baldwin]

Did we dump Tim?

[Adam Carolla]

We dumped him. He's a zero from New Zealand. He can't even get a date. Don't worry about him balding. He's not one of us. But Alec, isn't it?

[Alec Baldwin]

Yeah, I gave up sugar.

[Adam Carolla]

Isn't it difficult? And I was screaming this at the top of my lungs the other day. When you do it, when you do a tv, which I do everything, when you do a TV show, they give you baskets filled with biscuits, filled with cookies filled with goodies. And then every set, if you go on set, and I'm sure it's that way on 30 Rock, which is an amazing show, if you go to hang around the set, they'll be bowls filled with M&Ms. When not. And by the way, if you make it past the craft service table, there'll be a woman walking around pushing quesadillas on you at a certain point and smoothies.

[Alec Baldwin]

And it's like deep fried macaroni and cheese balls, right?

[Adam Carolla]

And the crew's going insane. And meanwhile you're just standing there in a cold sweat wanting to backhand her.

[Alec Baldwin]

Because it's made for the craft service is made for the crew. Because these guys, women, they're on their feet all day for like 13, 14 hours, so they make everything for them. The craft service table we have, we call it Sugar Mountain because it's just tons of, tons of shit. Just cakes and candies and all that.

[Adam Carolla]

Also a great Neil Young song.

[Alec Baldwin]

It's a Neil Young song.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. So the thing is a, you can't get fat in show business or there's trouble. And then the other thing you can't get is you can't become an alcoholic. But the two selections for gifts are either cookies and booze or cookies or booze.

[Alec Baldwin]

Like, I'm a non drinker, I don't drink. And you have people, you can always tell the people that don't know you who they send you. Like, you know, like an 18 year old Macallan scotch, right? And they're sending you not a bottle of booze. They're sending you the finest bottle of booze that's out there. You know, you're right. It's booze. And it's those baskets from like Manhattan Fruitier that are filled with chocolate.

[Adam Carolla]

Take this in the spirit in which it's intended. Alec, lay it on me. You seem like an alcoholic. To be fair to your friends who don't know you that well, you know what I mean? You have all the characteristics of an alcoholic. It's a good thing.

[Alec Baldwin]

That means if a man is just vexed by options. You know what I mean? I seem like an alcoholic.

[Adam Carolla]

Baldwin, by the way, how are you doing, man?

[Alec Baldwin]

Everything's good.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm doing great. And you can Twitter Alec, by the way, at Alec Baldwin if you'd like to give him a Twitter. Yeah, I was watching.

[Alec Baldwin]

I'm gonna do your show pretty soon. I think I'm gonna try to hook up with you and do your other show.

[Adam Carolla]

I hope that's what we're doing right now.

[Alec Baldwin]

But that's what we're doing. Okay, great.

[Adam Carolla]

I love to see in person again.

[Alec Baldwin]

How's the show going? What are you now? What are you. Are you still doing anything like you used to do? People are calling you up.

[Adam Carolla]

Are they asking you for advice?

[Alec Baldwin]

Advice?

[Adam Carolla]

Well, we were talking to the lovelorn a minute ago and then you called in and we had to push them all aside.

[Alec Baldwin]

I'm not lovelorn now. That's actually working quite well.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. What's going on with you in the relationship?

[Alec Baldwin]

I found another victim. You know, what can I say?

[Adam Carolla]

Awesome. I found another victim and she's dating this.

[Alec Baldwin]

Pythons are eating alligators in the Everglades. The pythons have grown so big that they actually are eating the alligators. And that's kind of how I feel. I'm the python that's grown so big. Yeah, I'm just eating the alligators whole.

[Adam Carolla]

Now she gets to date the sober, skinny Alec Baldwin.

[Alec Baldwin]

Yeah, well, I would say skinny. I'd say the Alec Baldwin that's no longer going to win the Victor Buono look alike contest.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, as I said to you last time I spoke to you, I wanted you to put on about £100 and run for president, which is full and full blown beard, pocket watch, Grover Cleveland. Yes.

[Alec Baldwin]

Let's bring him back.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Yelling good day at almost everyone who's.

[Alec Baldwin]

In the room with you there.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, I have bald Brian over here and Allison Rosen. You can say Hi.

[Allison Rosen]

Hello.

[Alec Baldwin]

Hello. The good news is you're fired.

[Adam Carolla]

That is it.

[Alec Baldwin]

Now, what did. What was his name? Tim from Auckland.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Alec Baldwin]

What was this? But let's talk, let's give some love advice together. Can we? May I?

[Adam Carolla]

Yes, you may.

[Alec Baldwin]

Can I give you a fleeting consultation here, a drive by consultation, Please, Alec, what was Tim's problem? Seeking.

[Adam Carolla]

Tim is 30, he's from New Zealand, so I'm assuming he's black.

[Allison Rosen]

He's been divorced for five years.

[Adam Carolla]

Thank you for laughing at that. See, Alec gets me. He teaches math, or maths as he says it. Year five at year five, right. And he is single and he doesn't know how to meet the ladies. And I told him, him, you know, the world is your oyster because you can date from 20 to 40 and you have all this Internet stuff. Can you imagine that? Internet stuff for a young single Alec Baldwin in his 20s.

[Alec Baldwin]

Yeah. I'd never leave the house.

[Adam Carolla]

Unbelievable.

[Alec Baldwin]

I'd have it hot and cold on tap right there online.

[Adam Carolla]

You've been with the same woman for how long now?

[Alec Baldwin]

My girlfriend I've done with for about eight months.

[Adam Carolla]

Eight months. And how's it, how's it going? You feel good?

[Alec Baldwin]

Life is good. I can't complain. Life is very good.

[Adam Carolla]

Ever.

[Alec Baldwin]

Life is great.

[Adam Carolla]

Ever see getting married again?

[Alec Baldwin]

I wouldn't rule it out, you know, I mean, that's. I'm a believer that that's, you know, the natural state of things is to, you know, be monogamous and have a home.

[Adam Carolla]

You know, I get it, she's in.

[Alec Baldwin]

The room and things are still good with you, your home and you're happily married and you're still, still puttering around your house and building things, driving your wife crazy.

[Adam Carolla]

I have twins. They're five years of age.

[Alec Baldwin]

Are they really?

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Alec Baldwin]

Oh my God.

[Adam Carolla]

I know.

[Alec Baldwin]

Are you happy?

[Adam Carolla]

I love those shits to death. I love those little ass wipes to death. I got a boy and a girl. I can't stop loving them. I really.

[Alec Baldwin]

Has it softened you. You sound different.

[Adam Carolla]

Fuck you. Do I send? No. Maybe when I talk about them, I just love the shit out of him. I really, I really do.

[Alec Baldwin]

Has your wife changed?

[Adam Carolla]

She has turned in. It's like she turned into her mother. She turned into a. She turned into a worker. It's like she didn't have that much to do when I was out sort of bringing home the bacon and she was hanging around in a big house. Now she's got things to do and she's doing them like she's answering the bell. So to speak. Rising to the occasion. Yeah. Although she got pissed off a few years ago when I was explaining her that I was bringing home the bacon and she said, I have a job too. I too bring home the bacon. I said, no, you bring home the baco, I bring home the bacon. There's a big difference there. So you are. And what about more kids? I'm assuming you're dating someone who's a little bit younger than you, who says she doesn't want kids now, but eventually that's gonna come up. Alec, right?

[Alec Baldwin]

Yeah, I would love that. That would be great. I have one child, my daughter just turned 16, so. And I mean, I adore my daughter, she's great. But like all 16 year olds, she knows how to say fuck you in every language that there is, you know, at the United Nations. And.

[Adam Carolla]

It'S an issue because I come, I've said this to my wife a bunch of times. I come from a long line of women who hate their dads. They really do. My mom hated her dad, not that she knew him. My sister, not a big fan of my dad and her dad as well. It runs in the family. And I have twins and the boy is just one big ball of lovable goo. And the daughter is tough, tough. She's tough on me. And it's like I'm. I'm wondering, I want to break this streak.

[Alec Baldwin]

Well, I tell people who have kids, I say, from. From you. You think that when they're newborn, when they're, you know, literally newborns, and then they become toddlers and so forth, and they start to talk. I said, you think when they're just this little lump in a bed, there's not much for you to do? I said, that's wrong. I say, from 0 to 10, you have to spend as much time with them as you can and enjoy every moment as you can. Because once they get to middle school, once they're like 10, 11, forget it. By the time they're 12, they're gone, they're gone. In the modern world, they're gone. They have no use for their parents. They just have. You have to really enjoy them as much as you can until they're 10 years old, and after that it's over.

[Adam Carolla]

And what about you and your schedule? And I wouldn't be doing my job as a host if I didn't bring up politics and all that kind of stuff. Stuff. And I remember once we were speaking about 30 Rock, and even though you guys were getting all the Emmys, you seemed a little disappointed in the ratings. And maybe that was just a £30 ago and a little more depressed Alec Baldwin, but I need money now.

[Alec Baldwin]

You know, I got a girlfriend.

[Adam Carolla]

Are you enjoying. You're enjoying the success of 30 Rock now? I'm taking it. Right.

[Alec Baldwin]

Well, I think this year that we're doing is the last year that, you know, that we're signed for. We signed for six years and we're in our sixth year now. And they have talked to us about maybe doing another year, which I did not want to do, but now maybe I will if that'll help us get to a seventh year. Because I think if either she or I or any of the other principal actors left, you know, they might not do the show. So they. Everybody kind of agreed that if it would salvage a seventh season for everyone, maybe we would all do that or do part of one. I really don't know what's going to happen, but. But we're in syndication, so the show was successful on that level. Everybody's happy about that. And, you know, listen, I, you know, you work in this business and you do TV and movies and so forth. It's like I wasn't quite sure that I wanted to do a TV show, and then when I finally did one, it's been one of the best experiences I've ever had. It's been a lot of fun. We've had a lot of fun.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, Tina Fey is a bona fide talent and one of the nicer people I've met in show business. At least when I sat down with her, we have.

[Alec Baldwin]

We. You know, Tina as an actress, it's like the show was a great opportunity for everybody. But I think the thing that's the most interesting to me is what's going to happen to Tina when the show's over. Because I really believe if she could go on to become a writer, director like Nora Ephron or Nancy Myers or people like that, I mean, of a female director who writes, produces and directs her own films, I think that Tina could have an incredible career as a producer and writer and director.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, her biggest problem is going to be what to do next. Like, shall I write another book?

[Alec Baldwin]

Every opportunity. Developing TV shows, writing books. I mean, she has every opportunity at her fingertips. She's going to have the most amazing career. She's. She's the only one that has a future when the show's over. The rest of us are.

[Adam Carolla]

That's clearly what I was getting at, but thank you for making that easier on me. And what about the rumors that you're Looking at possibly running for mayor of.

[Alec Baldwin]

New York, I think that that's, you know, that's not really likely because, I mean, in New York, all the statewide seats are all safe Democratic seats. We have a Democratic governor and two Democratic senators and so forth. And to run for mayor is something that is looming very quickly. Like you'd have to spend about a year and a half of your life raising money and campaigning and the races in November of 2013, and I don't think I have time to do that, quite frankly, so.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, how much money would it take you? I mean, we already know you. Don't you feel like the press would sort of take care of a lot of this stuff? That other lesser known mayoral.

[Alec Baldwin]

I think that New York is very different from other places. You know, in California, you've had a person who was governor who, I mean, virtually had no political credentials whatsoever. I mean, none.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. Talking about council on. Yeah.

[Alec Baldwin]

And he became the governor, not the lieutenant governor, but the governor of the state.

[Adam Carolla]

Sure.

[Alec Baldwin]

And so California is a little bit different that way.

[Adam Carolla]

You know, saying we're stupid, you're two.

[Alec Baldwin]

For two out there.

[Adam Carolla]

You're saying we're stupid.

[Alec Baldwin]

Well, I'll let you say that. But the thing is, is that the.

[Adam Carolla]

It's not that we're stupid, it's just we don't care.

[Alec Baldwin]

Yeah, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

They overlook a lot, but they mistake our apathy for stupidity.

[Alec Baldwin]

You know, kind of a business tycoon or someone who's really done something meaningful to leapfrog into elective office that way. So we'll see.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, and for now then, 30 Rock.

[Alec Baldwin]

I'm gonna do the show this year and maybe do a piece of next year. All of next year. We'll see. And then when that's over, I'll decide, you know, I'll take it. I mean, maybe you and I can bring back Loveline. What the fuck do you need Dr. Drew for? He's got me.

[Adam Carolla]

Do you remember when you called me on my cell phone and repeated back one of the Loveline questions?

[Alec Baldwin]

Of course, of course. And I'll never forget my favorite memory. I mean, I have. I have several. But my favorite memory of you was the guy's actual. The timber of his voice. I mean, the sound of his voice. Because you said to him, how much do you weigh, Larry or whatever his name was? He was like, I'll weigh three, 300 pounds. He had like a really high pitched voice. And you were like, you're a large man. Is that it? You're a large man. And then he Went on to his whole thing about the. He went into your whole thing about the mayonnaise jar and the duct tape and the bagel. My favorite.

[Adam Carolla]

I love that was your favorite of all time. And I'd forgotten that was tied with.

[Alec Baldwin]

When the guy said he was having sex with his sister. And he said, but. And he said, but he felt it was okay because she was only. Only his half sister. And you said, well, it depends on which half is your sister. My other favorite of yours.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. Which half you're. Yeah.

[Alec Baldwin]

Which half her is your sister. Anyway, I'm sending you my best. I'm here in New York and I gotta go. I gotta hit the sack here, but.

[Adam Carolla]

Alec, please.

[Alec Baldwin]

Great talking to you, buddy.

[Adam Carolla]

Always great.

[Alec Baldwin]

Speaking of you, Adam, Carolla.

[Adam Carolla]

Love you.

[Alec Baldwin]

I hope I see you down the road.

[Adam Carolla]

Huge fan. And let's get together soon.

[Alec Baldwin]

You too, buddy.

[Adam Carolla]

Thank you. Thank you. Bye. Bye. The hell was that about?

[Giovanni]

We have guests tonight.

[Allison Rosen]

I know.

[Adam Carolla]

Think. I mean, what if someone said, hey, do you have a guest tonight? And you're like, well, tonight we're like, no guests. And then you go, Seth McFarlane and Alec Baldwin. It's pretty good.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah, it's a pretty good lineup.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. I don't know if it was completely random. We sent out the, you know, we sent out a Twitter from, from your account asking for calls and Alec responded, what's the number? And so we direct messaged him and got him on the horn. God, love that.

[Giovanni]

That's good pod back there.

[Adam Carolla]

That's good pod. We're doing good pod. Good, solid pod. I think we go out on a high note. I really do. We got some more news, but love that ball then, by the way, what a nice guy. I would forget all the answers I gave on Loveline because it was just first off as ball. Bryan will attest, no one would ever go, you gotta write that one down, kid. Dr. True. And 11 years of sitting next to him went, hey, did you just come up with that? Because that was fat. Like there was never. And producer Ann would never go like, hey, man, write that down. It was always just moving on, just moving on. And you don't realize she's only there half the time. That you gauge the wittiness of your response by the people that are in the room. Like if you're sitting at a dinner table and you go, hey, I got a good one. And you tell a joke and nobody laughs, you're not going to tell that joke again. And you're probably not going to.

[Allison Rosen]

That was dinner at your house always yes.

[Adam Carolla]

You're probably not going to. We didn't have dinner. But I understand what you're saying. You're probably not. It's not going to go down in your head as I got to remember this one for the next time, have a dinner party. It will go down in your head as moving on. So since Dr. Drew rarely cracked a smile and our producer never said anything, and Lord knows Anderson never said anything, most the answers that I gave, even if they were, were even the ones that were fast or funny or whatever, I just moved on, and I didn't think about them again. So when Baldwin would call me and tell me about, you know, he's fucking his half sister and which half you fucking kind of thing, I'd go, oh, that's funny.

[Giovanni]

I made the mistake of laughing out loud at your comments too many times in those two years. And Anderson yelled at me, don't laugh at that. Why are you laughing at. That's not funny.

[Adam Carolla]

You want that kid to get a big head.

[Giovanni]

This didn't happen once, by the way. This happened many times.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it was good. It was sort of. Here's what the atmosphere was. If somebody laughed at one of my jokes, I would have immediately asked for a raise. That's basically like, wait, you know that's funny. Give me $8. You laughed. Come on, you know I need a raise. I'm gonna renegotiate this contract.

[Allison Rosen]

I'm charging per chuckle.

[Adam Carolla]

That fat bald guy's answering the phone. I saw him smile twice. I want more money. It's really like somebody said, don't keep it in. You know what? Put a piece of glass in your shoe. If you ever think something's funny with Carl's head, just press down on it. That'll stop it. Geez, why. Why is everyone tearing up, making a weird face like they bit into an onion? Go to my PC. The iPad. Oh, love me the iPad. And by the way, we didn't know Baldwin was gonna call him. We just sent out tweets for calls, and he got hold of it, and kapow. You want to get the hell out of that office of yours. Hard to get out of that office, but you can go to my PC. It has an app for iPad. That's right. Missing link. Now you can use your iPad and do it from anywhere. Airport, Starbucks, what have you. Baldwin's Lower Bunk. That sounds like a good bar, doesn't it?

[Allison Rosen]

It really does.

[Adam Carolla]

Go after the show. Where do you want to meet?

[Allison Rosen]

I don't know what's open.

[Adam Carolla]

Baldwin's Lower Bunk.

[Allison Rosen]

I've heard so much about that place. Let's go there.

[Adam Carolla]

Let's go there for a couple of high balls. Go to my PC for iPad brought to you by Citrix. Can access your entire office computer right from your iPad. Work from any program. I should say work on any program. You can save it, you can edit, send files, wherever, whenever plus sets up in minutes. Try it for free. Go to my PC free. Free. A 45 day free trial. Visit GoToMyPC.com click on the try it free button and use the promo code. Adam. All right, well, that was unexpected and fun. So thank you guys for checking out the new app again. New app, new website coming out on Friday. And until next time is Adam Kroll for bald Brian and Allison Rose and saying mahalo.

[Brian Bishop]

Coffees for closers only.

[Giovanni]

All right, that's Adam Kishow 688. Coming up next, we have Adam Kishow 699. Robert Dahby, Allison Rosen, Brian Bishop, 2011 Adam's favorite.

[Adam Carolla]

Good day ball.

[Allison Rosen]

Brian, I'm gonna spank you on your butt. I'm gonna spank you on your butt. Turn over and take it like a woman.

[Adam Carolla]

Hi to you, Allison too.

[Allison Rosen]

Hello.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, Robert Davi, by the way, actor, you know him very well. But I was at the feast of San Gennaro, little thing we throw every year out here and at the Prima Note and I was pulling up, I did this podcast, I was pulling up late and it's important that Jimmy and I hit the stage about 9:30 to auction off Shaq shoe and heard some Sinatra wafting and it sounded good though, like live band Sinatra. But I was like someone's got a nice recording of Sinatra and parked my car and came through the fence and came around and there was Robert Davi up on stage singing Sinatra sounding just like old blue eyes.

[Giovanni]

You know that I'm the world's second oldest 30 something after Mike lynch and I love old Sinatra. I know all the songs. And Dawson was reading off a list to me like, yep, good song. Yep, good song. So I'm excited to hear hear him because Dahlia's coming in to talk about the album.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, sounded fantastic. And up on stage with the big band. All right, a couple things going on so I'll bring Robert out in a couple of few. I got my cranberry recipe I got to give out. Let's do it every year this time. I don't know why this made me laugh, but somebody tweeted something to me today that I thought was amusing and Then I realized it was a quote. And then I realized it was something I said. And then I realized that's why I thought it was amusing.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

You know, it's sort of like with me, I'm like, that's a good smelling fart. Jeez, who let that go? And then someone goes, you did, boss. And I go, oh, yeah, that's why I did.

[Allison Rosen]

It's interesting. I mean, have you ever thought someone else's fart smells good? Probably not.

[Adam Carolla]

No. Only on the rare occasion when I thought it was mine. You know, the rare simultaneous Kizmidian, you know, dual fart. But somebody just wrote. Somebody just quoted this, which is Shifty is dicey with a plan. And I don't know why I started smiling when I read that. That's a good one. And then I realized. Yeah, then they said I said it. And then I went, oh, that's why I liked it. I tend to like my own shit. What. What it is. But pre 911 heavy, man.

[Allison Rosen]

But it still holds up.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Loveline from March 01. Yeah, but shifty is dicey. But with a plan, right?

[Allison Rosen]

It really is. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

All right. Because Dicey's just drunk and hanging around Shifty. Something's up.

[Allison Rosen]

Where's Sleazy fit into that?

[Adam Carolla]

Sleazy is shifty and wants to fuck you.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Shifty with an action. Yeah. Shifty with a boner. That's sleazy. Sleazy, right? Yeah, Work that out. All right. Also had this thing, and now I always scream. What do I scream? Don't ever get rich. Don't ever own anything. Don't ever have anything. Don't do anything.

[Allison Rosen]

Don't make a penny. I think.

[Adam Carolla]

Stop being such an asshole and start listening to people. Don't ever do a thing. Today I come up with a plan, which is me and assistant Jay are gonna head over to warehouse in Burbank, grab a car, grab some other junk. Junk. And bring it over to this warehouse. The warehouse that's, by the way, in my. Don't ever make a penny. Part of my plea for you people never to make a penny is you get a warehouse, and then you get a guy moves in who sells furniture, and then that guy stops paying rent at a certain point and then never pays rent, and then goes six months without paying rent and essentially owes you a guy owed me $75,000 or something. It's like it's gone. And everyone's. The thing is, when people owe you money and it's rent money, it's always like, yeah, moving on, move on. If somebody steals a briefcase of yours that has $75,000 in it, they owe you $75,000. If somebody chooses not to pay the rent while you're paying the mortgage and it's to the tune of $75,000. Eh, moving on. By the way, in the eyes of not only humanity, the courts, God, everyone, Jehovah, everybody. Moving on.

[Allison Rosen]

So they pay you in briefcases.

[Adam Carolla]

The next guy moves in at the Shay cases. Yeah, they have to give me the combination. The next guy moves in and he does the same thing. He hangs out, except for he puts in an elaborate air conditioning system. And then I get sued by the contractor because he's supposed to pay. And he never shows up and he stiffs me too. So now I finally sell the place. And of course it's filled with other people stuff. That's the other thing too. Everyone else's cars. Everyone else filled all their shit. Oswaldo has a stacked washer and dryer in there that's just sitting there, you know. So I go in there to grab some shit and I'm gonna move it, pull a car out, I'm moving it over here. And we go in there. We get in the front door. The place been vacant for a year. Go around the back, and there's an SUV parked directly in front of the sliding door in the back. Now there's open parking spaces everywhere, but there's a car just completely blocking that just. And parked like cops when. When cops pull in and try to block something sort of diagonally. Not just sliding, it just SUV just. Just parked there. Just run away.

[Giovanni]

When the busting a crack house, they don't want the guy outside to run that. Spilling the streets.

[Adam Carolla]

That's what it is. A big rolling door and just an SUV just parked there. Like it, plenty of space, other spaces to park at, not your warehouse. Just kind of gonna park in front of this guy's rolling door. What it is where House.

[Allison Rosen]

What a weird turnout. Shifty dick.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, turnout was a shifty C. But the point is this quiet in there.

[Giovanni]

Thank you, dicey dick.

[Adam Carolla]

You just go, what the fuck? You know what I mean? Like, oh, I know. The person was playing the odds. Like, okay, I get it. I don't come here every day and try to remove a car. But there's an open space right next to the sliding rolling door, horizontal park. And why the horizontal park right in front of the thing.

[Giovanni]

And you brought it on yourself by having an ounce of success, independence.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes, I must be punished now, but mustn't it be nice. Like, don't you wish you could be the person who goes, I'm driving my SUV through this big park of warehouses. Where shall I park? Perhaps in front of this strange rolling door and back of a warehouse where I know not of, and I'll just go ahead and park it and put it in park, and then I'll leave and I'll never think about it again. Must be nice, right?

[Giovanni]

It must be.

[Adam Carolla]

That was awesome.

[Giovanni]

Is there a point of no return with the penny and the ounce thing? Because I feel like at this point in my life, I've made a penny and I have an ounce of success, but I'm afraid to get any more.

[Allison Rosen]

You know, with inflation, it's 2 pennies and 2 ounces.

[Giovanni]

You know what I'm saying?

[Adam Carolla]

You're good.

[Giovanni]

Okay.

[Adam Carolla]

You're good. Also.

[Giovanni]

Wait a minute.

[Adam Carolla]

Spend the day making my dog who's blind now a weird feely thing took. I know sounds weird. Took a collar, took plastic zip ties that stick out. I have zip ties in multiple colors and multiple lengths. I have, like, three footers that I cut down. So she wears a. She wears a collar. It's sort of elizabethan. And it comes out and coming out from her, these plastic zip tie ends.

[Allison Rosen]

That is smart. It's like giant whiskers.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. And she walks around and they kind of flop. But she was so fucking dejected. Like, I put it on her, and she walked around and they were, like, scraping up, and she just kind of did that on the ground with the like, Is this what it's come to? I'd rather be eaten by hyenas. It was her. That was what was on her face when she did that.

[Allison Rosen]

Ask her if she has a plan.

[Adam Carolla]

Hmm. I should see if she's made a plan. All right. But on a happy front, I was cruising through itunes today and saw that ace on the house squarely in the top hundred on itunes. God love you, by the way. I think people love my buddy Ray Oldhoffer on the show, but what's lots of love? It's me and Ray talking shit about houses. What the hell? So if you want a Saturday show, go to AdamCroll.com or iTunes. Check out ace on the house. All right, we got some news. Robert's in the next room. What else we got? And by the way, it was at number 69. Yeah, it was.

[Giovanni]

Is that sign when a professional comes to look at your house. In this case, a plumber or was doing some work around the house and repeatedly kept saying, this is a Nice house. But, like, had the surprise tone to his voice. It is a nice house.

[Adam Carolla]

I think that's good. I mean, I got the same when I did a movie. I liked it. Really. It's like. It was like my glasses would have cracked if I was wearing them. It wasn't bad. I didn't enjoy it. That's a good thing.

[Allison Rosen]

Sometimes that happens to me when I answer the phone and I'm like, why am I speaking in this really weird high voice?

[Adam Carolla]

I'm also retiring my wallet.

[Giovanni]

That thing's in the prime of his life.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, Get a picture of that. Yeah. Assistant Jay. I had these bad conversations with Jay because I told him five years ago, I need my wallet spray painted red so I won't lose it because it's black and it's going to get lost. And my car seat. Seat at the time was black. The carpet underneath the car seat was black. I'm wearing sweatpants. It's sliding out between the transmission tunnel and the black seat and the black hole and all that kind of. You know, they get a lot. They do a lot with lighting in cars. Like back in the day, there was just the dome light. There was that one light in the middle, and you turn it on, and all it would do is cast a weird shadow on everything but. Or drain your battery from. Forgot to turn it off. And every car had a different way of turning them on. Some you just pushed a whole light. Others there was a switch on it, whatever. Now they have the light that's in the visor for the makeup and the mirror, and they have a kind of a light that's, you know, that's a little bit of a overall lighting and a mood light and this, that, and the other. If I was purchasing a car and the guy said, look, it doesn't perform as well as the BMW. It's 10,000 more than the Mercedes. It doesn't get the same mileage as the Lex Texas. But there's a button on this car on the dash. And when you hit this button, it will light up the underside of your seat like the 4th of July. Like you. You'll be blinded, right? Like, you hit that light and all under your seat just lit up.

[Allison Rosen]

God is farting under you.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes, yes, yes. You'll hear angels sing. And if you ever drop so much as a. Is a chapstick in there, it'll be. It will be. It'll be unbearably apparent where it is immediately. No more that feeling around sliding hand under there, getting the weird greasy thing because of the things you thinking you.

[Allison Rosen]

Found it and pulling out, like a. What is that, a cocktail weenie or something?

[Adam Carolla]

Right, right. Yeah. Like, just under seat lighting. Yeah. So anyway, my wallet, which I told my assistant Jay to paint red, and then he put a yellow racing stripe on it, and it sort of was one of those, like, hey, Jay, did you paint the wallet? Yeah, I did, boss. And I did it one better. I put a yellow racing stripe on it, and I'm like, I just told you to paint it red, right? Yeah, but I put a stripe on it. How long did that take? I just, you know, just masked it off and got some yellow paint and put a yellow stripe on it.

[Allison Rosen]

Freestyled on the book cover.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I know, but why not just leave it red? I just want to put a yellow stripe on it. Don't you like it? People are kind of already making fun of me for the red wallet now with the racing stripes. They're really kind of. Pardon the pun. Kicked into overdrive. And then I have to explain to people I didn't put the yellow racing stripe, but next time I say put a. Just paint it red. Just go ahead and paint it red. But. And anyway, good job. Just do what I tell you to do, and then it'll be so much easier in life. So the red wallet is being retired because it's goddamn falling apart. But I thought we. I don't know. I thought we should do something with it. You know, look, it's not John Lennon's tooth.

[Allison Rosen]

You should get away.

[Adam Carolla]

But I've sat on it for five years. Got to be worth something.

[Allison Rosen]

It probably smells like the right side of your butt.

[Adam Carolla]

Someone should make a tea out of it.

[Allison Rosen]

We should do that on the podcast. And then.

[Adam Carolla]

That's funny.

[Allison Rosen]

The. Nothing. It's very serious. Wow, serious tea.

[Giovanni]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

And I was serious when I said, make a tea out of it.

[Allison Rosen]

I know.

[Adam Carolla]

No, I heard you laugh. I heard the fa.

[Allison Rosen]

I feel like. I don't know what the criteria should be, but people should tweet something and then you should give the wallet away.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Allison Rosen]

You know, after you've rung it dry.

[Adam Carolla]

Like, taught me a lot of luck. I also have to fire Jay or.

[Allison Rosen]

Auction it on ebay.

[Adam Carolla]

I told Jay to clean out my wallet, and he left my cheat sheet with all my addresses and stuff still slipped, slid in there.

[Allison Rosen]

There's one address on there.

[Adam Carolla]

Thank God I found that. I know, but it's laminated. It's an important one.

[Giovanni]

So a drunken Adam Carl. I can give it to a taxi driver.

[Adam Carolla]

Go.

[Giovanni]

Take me here.

[Allison Rosen]

Take me here. I have to do some drunk accounting.

[Adam Carolla]

Told the man to clean out my wallet. He left the most important thing, his own cheat. His own laminated cheat sheet in there. All right. Yeah, I should take this. I should auction it off. And I should give the money to what, cerebral pals? We'll figure it out.

[Giovanni]

Well, you know, they make red wallets. Are you gonna get a red wallet next, or are you gonna get a red one?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I already got one.

[Giovanni]

Oh, you got one. I missed that part, dude, I'm sorry.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, sorry. No, I didn't bring that up. I replaced it with a. With a reddish wallet.

[Allison Rosen]

That's like cheating on someone before you've broken up with your current relationship. I mean, that's like finding the new one before you gotten rid of the old one. How does your wallet feel?

[Adam Carolla]

You mean on the new wallet? Yeah.

[Allison Rosen]

You already have a new wallet. This one's still.

[Adam Carolla]

How's the old one feel? I mean, emotionally, you know, it's putting on a pretty strong, good front. But I'm sure after it has a couple of beers, right?

[Allison Rosen]

It's gonna call you.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. And I'm gonna be like. It's gonna call me and it's gonna be like, hey, man, I miss your left cheek. And I'm like, someone's been. You've been on the saddle soap. Hey, don't worry about it. I ain't holding my saddle soap.

[Giovanni]

What's it to you?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, hey, bartender, give me some saddle soap with a mink oil chaser, and I'll be like, okay, listen, I know that's just a min. Your. You got a hairy ass, girl. All right, all right. Come on, let's not get ugly. You think you forget about me just because some new Johnny come lately with a slick credit card pouch comes to town? You ain't shaking me that fast, bro.

[Allison Rosen]

I know your secrets.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Yeah, we should. We should do something with that. So there you go. Now you get the. You get the news Q up. Yeah, we're talking about. We did this. Yeah, I'll talk to you guys about that later. All right. We did. We did the experiment of putting the number in it and leaving money in it, leaving it around town. That was not with this wallet, but this is my general. You know, we have this sort of people.

[Giovanni]

It's a great show, a lot of fun.

[Adam Carolla]

We have this. Yeah. There's this thing where it's like, people are evil and people aren't evil. They're just devil dumb. Mainly. That's my new thing. But also they're not criminals. So if you lose your cell phone and. Or your wallet and. Or whatever, what are the chances a criminal's gonna find it? Because normal people, if they find a cell phone and. Or a wallet and. Or whatever, and they have the ability to get it to the rightful owner, they'll happily do that. A, it's the right thing to do, and B, as long as you're not a criminal, then you will do it. And again, criminals aren't usually out, you know, just looking around for wallets. They go and take wallets. So, anyway, get ready.

[Giovanni]

Yes, Brian, I had this exact experience and thought of that exact same thing. From 2006 on the radio show. No more than one month ago, Christy left her iPhone on a plane. We'd landed, gone off the plane. We're on a shuttle, getting a rental car. She's like, oh, my phone's gone. I said, she's like. I said, don't worry. We'll find. It'll be easy. She's freaking out. She's like, are you kidding me? It's an iPhone. Someone's gonna steal it. Blah, blah, blah. I'm like, people are all right. Someone's gonna.

[Adam Carolla]

On an airplane.

[Giovanni]

I called it, and it's not Con Air. I called it. That's right.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Giovanni]

Hello. Yeah, I got a bunny called it, and the flight attendant had picked it up. She's like, I'll send it down with the. With the crew.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Giovanni]

Came right down and got it.

[Adam Carolla]

The bottom line is, most people will. We do that thing where you turn on 48 hours and a woman was being raped in an alley and screaming for help and nobody called the cops and all that. We love to do that. We love to beat everyone up. But the reality is whether you're on the side of the road and you're broken down, Most people call 911 and call a tow truck for you if they find a wallet. And they're not going to risk their life or burn a ton of calories, but if they find your phone and they can get it back to you or they find your wallet, they can get it back. Especially since it's not like you went into Pelican Bay and lost your iPhone. You're on a fucking JetBlue flight from Orlando. Everyone else on a flight is just people who are going to see their friends and traveling and sightseeing and they are of means, or they wouldn't have the. They wouldn't be on the flight. Sound like a bunch of criminals are on the flight. Oh, man, I'll tell you what would be criminal, if you guys didn't use stamps. Dot com. That ain't misdemeanor action, that's felony action. Thank you. Thank you. Stamps.com. print official U.S. postage. You know, I do this just to print official US Postage.

[Allison Rosen]

I know. I didn't even think it was possible.

[Adam Carolla]

I got that kind of extra money lying around. I just do it just for kicks. You know what I mean? Yeah, just put a stamp on my dog's ass, turn to sender, save me some money. Yeah, on your own computer, using your own computer, you can do everything the post office does without the hassle, waiting in line, the attitude, the whole nine yards. And you support Uncle Sam in the post office. Just do it from the safety, convenience. And as I always say, smell. Let's face it, that factors in of your own home. I'm not saying your home smells good. I'm saying it smells like you. Yeah, we all know what that thing is. When you come in with the space heater and you get that waft of whoop, boy, somebody's old and been eating a lot of top ramen. Special offer, by the way, they have 100 bonus bucks. Includes a digital scale. 45 bucks. You put the scale and this would have been sorcery a few years ago. You just put your parcel on there and it just says. The scale just says here's how much. Here's how much you have to print out. So you never print out a penny more than you need.

[Giovanni]

Like one of those awesome things they have at the meat counter at the deli.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, Sweet meat. Get an extra 10 bucks of free postage only if you use the ace man's name. So you get a bunch of free postage. You can you get the weight, the scale, the counter of weight, the scale and you can get all online. Go to stamps.com click on the microphone at the top of the homepage. Type in AdamStamps.com use promo AdamStamps.com all right, Allison Rosen, let's hear some news. OK, the news with Allison Rosen. She'll read some news from her iPad. Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad. It's Alice. Love it. And when it's time to wrap it up, she'll sign it off with zip. It's Allison.

[Allison Rosen]

The head of a charity founded by Jerry Sandusky has resigned. Jack Reykovitz, CEO of the Second Mile for 28 years, resigned. Sunday, both Reykjaviks and the board.

[Giovanni]

You want to see if this is all going to play out?

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah, both Reykjavik and the board believe this is in the best interest of the organization. Saying that the safety and well being of the children is central to its mission. The board announced it will conduct an internal investigation and make recommendations regarding the organization's future operations.

[Adam Carolla]

The whole thing is whenever they interview this guy cuz they're hearing some of his interview and it's like yeah, I showered with the boys. And yeah, we would. Yes and dusky. We'd lather each other up a little bit. But there's nothing inappropriate there. I mean, I mean it's like when you're a straight dude, when you're a dude who's into pussy, the notion of 10 year old boy in the shower forget about anything criminal.

[Giovanni]

Intriguing.

[Brian Bishop]

What?

[Adam Carolla]

Forget about. No, no, I'm saying it's a bad thing. Forget about the law. Just forget about anything. I don't care if you're living in fucking ancient Rome.

[Allison Rosen]

Right? On a shits and giggles level, it doesn't sound funny.

[Adam Carolla]

It's all a zombie zero. If you're into pussy, it's just a fucking big fat zero. There's just nothing there. That's it. It's gross, it's weird. It's somewhere between.

[Allison Rosen]

That's your opinion.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I mean there's none of that, you know. Hey, it was just an innocent thing, you know. Remember all that Michael Jackson stuff? Like hey, it was an innocent sleepover and we would cuddle and we'd watch cartoons. It's like first off, if this is true, worse than just having sex with them. That makes you creepier in my mind because the guy who has, who has a hankering for 10 year olds. I understand that there's a certain amount of that what? I don't know. Why? Well, look, look.

[Allison Rosen]

You mean some people are just sort of bent that way.

[Adam Carolla]

There's a certain amount of people on the planet that are going to kill themselves. There's a certain amount of people that are going to have gender reassignment surgery. There's a certain amount of people that are going to to kill their parents. There's a certain amount of people that are going to have a hankering for 10 year old boys.

[Allison Rosen]

Do you see a pie chart reflecting this?

[Adam Carolla]

There's a certain amount of everything. There always was, there always will be.

[Allison Rosen]

Right?

[Adam Carolla]

Now listen, Glad, don't get your thong backs in a bunch. I'm just using this as an example of behavior that society. The gender reassignment behavior that society deems as bizarre are. There's always going to be a certain amount of that. There just is. If it's detrimental to kids. We try to keep in check as a society, but there's just always right.

[Allison Rosen]

Like some people enjoy having sex with pigeons.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right. And there's always been dudes who've had sex with farm animals. And there's always been dudes who've had sex with 10 year olds. That correct. That's always going to exist. I wish it didn't. It's just there. And I don't know what you do about it. You keep it in check, you report it, you do what you can do about it. But the part where you just say, I like to lather up a 10 year old and take an innocent shower and do a little cuddling and drink a little Jesus juice and have a little sleepover party, that is fucking bizarre.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah. And it also makes you wonder what makes that guy decide that that's the right thing to say? Like, do they really think that the right rest of of society that doesn't engage in this is going to be like, oh, that makes sense.

[Adam Carolla]

No, I'll tell you what it is. Your wife smelled shit on your dick and you said, I just titty fucked the chick. Right.

[Allison Rosen]

Had Carl been by?

[Adam Carolla]

No. The point is, is you cornholed a hooker and you're trying to downgrade it to a titty fuck. See, when you're fucked up, when it's bad times, you will downgrade. You'll go from murder one, you'll go from murder one to arson. I mean, there's people in court all day long and all they're trying to do is get from murder one to.

[Allison Rosen]

Manslaughter, but they think a flat out denial is not gonna be believed.

[Adam Carolla]

I think the flat out denial, it's.

[Allison Rosen]

Like, oh, I only had two beers.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, see, the problem is we're at murder one right now and me saying I never met the dude, I never was in his house, I don't know who he is, isn't working because your DNA is all over the place. Yeah, but your story of I showed up, we had a couple of beers, he started arguing with me, he threatened me, so I pushed him and he fell back and hit his head on the fireplace. That might work.

[Allison Rosen]

Well, the.

[Adam Carolla]

No, I'm telling you what happened over the weekend.

[Allison Rosen]

Okay, I believe you.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay, got it.

[Allison Rosen]

Don't believe you. So Sandusky was interviewed by Bob Costas and that will be airing on Rock Center. By the time you hear this podcast, it will have already aired. And those are the quotes that you're talking about. And so here's a few more of them. Sandusky said, I have horsed around with kids.

[Adam Carolla]

I'll tell you, Costas could be part of the solution.

[Allison Rosen]

How so?

[Adam Carolla]

Well, all you'd have to do is get Sandusky a 18 year old Bob Costas and he'd be like, that'll do. You know what I mean?

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Bob Costas is 61. He looks like he's 30.

[Allison Rosen]

What will it take to get Sandusky to settle down?

[Adam Carolla]

I'm just saying him and his illness. Toss him an 18 year old bob Costas. Done and done. I mean, Bob. I don't know how old Bob Costas is. 57, 60. Bob Costas looks like he's 14 now. Sing it. Bob Costas in 1971, at 18 years of age, he had to look like he was four.

[Giovanni]

So, Jerry, who do I want to give your first interview to? Bob Acostas or Aniston Cooper?

[Adam Carolla]

Whoa. Oh, man.

[Giovanni]

Can I do both at the same time?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. And toss him an 18 year old Anderson Cooper.

[Allison Rosen]

When you think about it, the whole cast of 90210 was like 35 and they were playing.

[Adam Carolla]

That's what I'm saying. So now. Yeah, now you're feeling what I'm putting down.

[Allison Rosen]

I'm uncomfortable joking about it. But really, why aren't pedophiles exploring the child actor thing or the older than they are actor thing? People look a lot younger than they are.

[Adam Carolla]

It's a sodomy version of near beer.

[Allison Rosen]

Near rear.

[Adam Carolla]

Near rear. Near rear. Yeah. I'm just saying. I know. How old is Casas? How long is this going to take? Come on, people.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah, I don't have the answer.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm going to guess. I'm going to guess he's like 56, 57.

[Allison Rosen]

I'm going to guess 62. Just because.

[Adam Carolla]

And he looks. He's born in 52.

[Allison Rosen]

He's 59.

[Adam Carolla]

He's 59. Okay. He's 59 years of age. What did Bob Kasas look like at a 18? Like a zygote, probably.

[Allison Rosen]

Probably smooth and hairless, but totally legal. Mm. Legal zygote.

[Adam Carolla]

Know what I'm saying?

[Allison Rosen]

I know what you're saying.

[Adam Carolla]

We're gonna have to have these guys step up and offer themselves.

[Allison Rosen]

Calling all men who look much younger than they are.

[Giovanni]

Take one for the teen.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. Nice. Good stuff.

[Allison Rosen]

All right, so I feel this show has reached a new low. And also, he said, I have horsed around with kids. I have showered after workout, I have hugged them and I have touched their legs without Intent of sexual contact. Well, what.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. And here's the other thing too. Knowing the kind of society we're living in where you can be slapped with a lawsuit over anything if there's just. Hey, nothing in it for me. I just like to shower with occasional 10 year old. Nothing in it for you? Why are you risking that?

[Allison Rosen]

You. Yeah, no, I know. I was an aide at a, like summer school and the kids that I was, was helping with were three years old and so I would have to take them to the bathroom. And I remember it was years ago, but I remember at the time thinking, I don't like, what's the appropriate level of me doing all this, you know? Okay. Also, Sandusky in 87 said, I enjoy being around children. I enjoy their enthusiasm. I just have a good time with them.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Now there's. Now we're looking at a picture of Casas when at age 33, piercing blue eyes. Yeah. So you go ahead and knock 15 years off this man right now and tell me he's not prime meat. She's. I might even swing over there. Well, I'm just saying, do a lot more. I've been with chicks that are a lot uglier than an 18 year old Bob Casas, I can tell you that right now. Handicapped. Handicapped.

[Allison Rosen]

I'm.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm Hand of God.

[Allison Rosen]

I'm losing myself in his.

[Adam Carolla]

God is my wit. Hand of God. Literally, literally uglier than 18 year old hand of God.

[Allison Rosen]

And the judge that sets.

[Adam Carolla]

Literally, literally, literally, literally uglier than an 18 year old Bob ka. Hand of God. Hand of God.

[Allison Rosen]

No argument from me, Brian.

[Adam Carolla]

Hand of God. Hand of God. Literally uglier than 18 year old Bobcat. Hand of God. Hand of God.

[Giovanni]

Beautiful woman.

[Adam Carolla]

Hand of Literal. Literally hand, hand, literally handing God. Literally cupping God's sack. Literally hand at God.

[Allison Rosen]

The judge that set Sandusky's bail volunteered at second mile. So now she's looking kind of dirty too.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Oh, boy.

[Allison Rosen]

There's just no end. It's all bad.

[Adam Carolla]

I know, I know. What's the first. All right. I don't know.

[Allison Rosen]

All right, the first mile. What is the first mile? Yeah, yeah. I don't know.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Allison Rosen]

George Clooney considered suicide after he was injured on the Syriana set.

[Adam Carolla]

Really?

[Allison Rosen]

Well, yeah. According to Clooney, in 2005, while filming Syriana, the movie that earned him his Oscar, 2005, Clooney suffered a spinal injury while performing a stunt that left him in so much pain he considered ending his life. He said, quote, I was at a point Where I thought, I can't exist like this. I can't actually live. I was lying in a hospital bed with an IV in my arm, unable to move, having these headaches where it feels like you're having a stroke. And for a short three week period, I started to think, I may have to do something drastic about this.

[Adam Carolla]

And that's when an angel came down and said, george, there's so many more 23 year old cocktail waitresses to bang the bejesus out of. Please, it's not your time. Think of them. Think of them.

[Allison Rosen]

And then the angel said, P.S. adam Carolla also has an interest in you.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right. Right. Physically. Mm. Yeah. And that's when his cock and balls just started pleading with him, no balls, no, dear God, no. I could be buried inside another fucking hostess. And you're gonna take yourself out. Not on my watch.

[Giovanni]

And again, they were like Oskar Schindler. We could do more.

[Adam Carolla]

We could have more, could have done more. We could have done more. Hacks telling the balls. Don't blame yourself.

[Allison Rosen]

It's good to have ambitious balls, don't you think?

[Adam Carolla]

Handicapped.

[Allison Rosen]

He even began to think, what would be the best way to do it. Quote, you start to think in terms of. You don't want to leave a mess. So go in the garage, go in the car, start the engine. It seems like the nicest way to do it, but I never thought I'd get there. See, I was in a place where I was trying to figure out how to survive. Clooney turned to alcohol to help alleviate the pain and the pain. And since surgery, the alcohol has helped, but he still suffers from occasional headaches.

[Adam Carolla]

Let me say that everybody does the, you know, thought about suicide and. Or was molested at some point. Right. Everybody interviewed, writing a book.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

About suicide is. I do think it's a very human thought.

[Allison Rosen]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

Where you go, what would it be like if I killed myself or wasn't here or something like that? And that's not contemplating suicide.

[Allison Rosen]

Right, Right. I agree.

[Adam Carolla]

That's it running through your brain. Brain. I mean, Clooney I like more than most, but I don't, you know, Was he close to suicide?

[Allison Rosen]

I don't think so.

[Adam Carolla]

I think it's just. I think he's up on morphine, depressed and on his back. Yeah, right. And I banged the cocktail waitress in almost three days.

[Allison Rosen]

Well, what is the normal amount. What do you think is the normal, healthy amount of thinking about suicide?

[Adam Carolla]

Well, you're above that. I mean, if that's what you're asking.

[Allison Rosen]

Oh, no, I'm not asking. I'm asking for a friend.

[Adam Carolla]

Hannah Guy. I think in the depths of depression, everybody depending on how low you go, when a pain gets to be greater than the joys of life, that thought crosses people's minds. I'd say everyone has had the thought, but more in a sort of wonder what it would be like not to be here.

[Allison Rosen]

And also, oh, they'd be so sorry.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. I wonder what they would say about me. Me. And then I wonder what would be beyond this. Like, what would I experience beyond this realm as well? So I think everyone has that fleeting thought, or at least this sort of curiosity thought about it. As far as, like, really making plans. I don't. I think, you know, happily, only a small percentage of people do that.

[Allison Rosen]

The union representing the NBA players formally disbanded Monday and declared it would take its standoff with the league's owners into federal court, a development that pushed the league as close as it has ever been to losing an entire season of play. The players, no longer unionized said they would file an antitrust lawsuit in the next two days and would seek a summary judgment declaring the league's four and a half month lockout to be illegal.

[Adam Carolla]

You know what I'd be cool with? I'd be cool with no regular season. Every team gets their best, best horse player to play a game of horse. And we'll see.

[Allison Rosen]

What does that mean?

[Adam Carolla]

We'll just get. It's like you. You do a shot. There was a famous Michael.

[Giovanni]

It was Bird and John.

[Adam Carolla]

I think Johnson. I mean, Michael. Yeah, I think it was either. Yeah, it was either Matt Johnson, Michael Jordan, Larry Bird. Jordan Bird. Yeah, I thought it was Jordan Bird. Well, you do a thing where you go, like, all right, I'm gonna stand in the corner here. Here. I'm gonna call bank and I'm gonna shoot it. If I make it, then you gotta do the exact same shot, except for at some point, I'll say, no, no, no. Step back, step back. Step back. I wasn't. No, I was standing. Step back. You're two. You're three feet, dude. You're three feet in front of where I was standing. Step back. You're not. No, I was not standing there. My foot was on the line. Step back. So we'll argue about that for a while and then you'll argue that I didn't call back Bank. And then eventually you'll shoot it and it'll rim out and miss. And then you get an H, and I'm not sure how to spell horse. I Can't go any further.

[Allison Rosen]

But the first person who spells horse is dead.

[Adam Carolla]

You're out. Out of the playoffs. So that was that.

[Allison Rosen]

I would watch that word game goes.

[Adam Carolla]

I would televise that game of horse. I would watch it and let the top eight teams or 10 teams or whoever, whatever it ends up being, 12 teams go to the playoffs. No seeds, no anything that'd be interesting. Or let the seeds be the guys who did the best in the horse. Like, you know, you got horse. I didn't even get an H. I'm a top number one seed now.

[Giovanni]

Yeah, because it wouldn't just rely on great athletes. It would like trick shooters. You know, Jason Capono would be the mvp.

[Adam Carolla]

It'd be fun to do. And then the playoffs begin with the teams that won in horse.

[Allison Rosen]

Why don't they do that?

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know. Hand of God.

[Allison Rosen]

I know. Well, I hope they're listening because now the NBA is converted into a trade association. It can negotiate with the league, but within limited parameters. For any new collective bargaining agreement to be approved by the players, they all have to get H's.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it was Burden Jordan, by the way.

[Allison Rosen]

The Supreme Court has agreed to decide the Constitution. Next story. The Supreme Court has agreed to decide the constitutionality of the sweeping health care reform law championed by Barack Obama. Oral arguments are likely to be held in late February or March with a ruling by June assuring the issue will become a hot button political debate in a presidential election. Election year.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, man. Canada, man, they take care of everybody hand too. Yeah, and in Cuba, too, man.

[Allison Rosen]

The High Court agreed.

[Adam Carolla]

Paradise over there, man.

[Allison Rosen]

The High Court agreed to hear two major questions. Whether the law's key provision is unconstitutional, and if so, whether the entire law, with its 450 sections, must be scrapped. I feel like no one knows what all 450 of those sections are. But the basic question is, is it constitutional to require everyone to purchase health insurance?

[Adam Carolla]

Look, here's the thing. You're responsible for your own shit. You're responsible for your own car insurance. You're responsible for feeding yourself. You're responsible for paying your mortgage and. Or whatever rent you're paying on your apartment. And your health is the same way. Now, we should have a provision for the hardship cases, whether the guy's mentally retarded and was left abandoned by his parents or whatever disease is, you know, whatever someone is stricken with. But in general, you're in charge of your own shit. Let's get it together, everybody.

[Giovanni]

You're supposed to buy your own. You're forced to buy your own car insurance and you're forced to pay property or property insurance, but you don't have.

[Allison Rosen]

To have a car.

[Giovanni]

Why should you not be forced to buy health insurance?

[Adam Carolla]

I'm with you. The thing is you don't have to have, I don't know that you need, you need home insurance if you have a mortgage, because you can't get a mortgage without your home insurance. If you just want to buy your house with cash, you probably don't need insurance. If you don't need it, then we have a, you know, we do have a state regulation, at least in California. And I don't know how many states have it that you have to have, you know, comp and collision or some sort of minor version. By the way, nobody does. Nobody ever gets hit by an illegal. The illegal never has insurance. Everyone I know gets an accident, gets t boned by an illegal with no insurance. That seems to be the theme in California here.

[Giovanni]

If you're a citizen, it's awesome, but.

[Adam Carolla]

If you're a citizen, citizen, you're supposed to have it. I would be completely fine with the sort of minimum, whatever, everybody, because otherwise we're paying for your health insurance. But the problem is then you get into this sort of slippery slope where you're forcing everyone to pay for everything. The bottom line is it's up to you and it's up to your family to take care of your own. And on rent, rare cases where people are born with disabilities or they're just situations that happen where they need to be taken care of, then the government needs to take care of those people. I had no insurance and no money and everything my entire life. I was always able to find some help if I needed it. I wasn't 80 years old, but if I fucked myself up, I'd just go down to county, USC and just wait in line for three hours hours and get stitched up or whatever it was. I don't know what the answer is to this. I just know I don't think health care is a right. I really don't. And I don't think top notch health care is a right. I don't think anything is a right. I don't think you have the right to have anything. You either work and earn your shit or you choose not to and you don't and you take your fucking chances. All right?

[Giovanni]

But if you're, if you or anyone, let's say you had been in some sort of catastrophic whatever, you would have had to go to usc, county and the county would have Paid for. The state, the locals paid for it. This. You're a burden on the system that way. And it seems like. I'm surprised to hear you say that. I would think that you'd want to, say, pay in, pay your taxes. And that way if something happens, you're covered. It should be. It should be your responsibility.

[Adam Carolla]

I do agree with you. And. And it's just. There's a lot of people. Then the argument comes with a lot of people don't have enough money to pay for, blah, blah, blah. And then it's up to the employer and blah, blah, blah. But yes, I agree there should be a minimum sort of thing that you pay into if you're employed that provides insurance, where you take care of your own insurance.

[Allison Rosen]

Well, healthcare in this country is just a fucked right now because the prices are all out of the whack and the insurance companies have a stranglehold on everything. And it's like nothing's on a gold standard anymore. Everything is just based on the other agencies and it's fucked.

[Adam Carolla]

Anytime it's all cart before the horse, anytime there's insurance involved. It's ridiculous. I mean, look, if you. It's like auto body shops. You can fix a car for 800 bucks or you can do 8,000 if it's insured. 8,000. Who gives a shit? The auto body shop makes the money. The guy whose car it is doesn't give a fuck. He's not paying. He's just paying his deductible and that's it. So it's always. Whenever there's. Here's the thing. Whenever there's a situation between. Look, whether you want your gallbladder removed or your fender pounded out.

[Giovanni]

I've had both done either way.

[Adam Carolla]

Really? Yeah, Same day. And again, one was longer than the other. Point is this. If there's a third party, Brian and I are talking and we're trying to figure out how much to remove the gallbladder or how much to pound out the fender. But there's a third party over there who's gonna pay for it. We're not even gonna have this conversation, Right? He did not even ask me how much it is to get the gallbladder. Pound it out. They're paying for it or take it out.

[Giovanni]

Pound out the gallbladder.

[Adam Carolla]

It's a defender. That's right.

[Allison Rosen]

It's expense.

[Adam Carolla]

I'll take as much of it as I can and that'll be that. Yeah, and thus you get the fucking set of aluminum crutches that are $2,000. That's what happens. All right.

[Allison Rosen]

Anyway, that's the news. I'm Allison Rosen. Zip it, cunt.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, come on. That was the news with Allison Rosen. Yeah. GoToMeeting. Everybody's gotta get GoToMeeting. Brought to you by Citrix. Host meetings online, right from your computer, while attendees join from any computer or. This is what I like. The iPad. I like that. Not being chained to the desk anymore, man. Working for the man. Punching the clock, man. Now you're on the. You're on your own. Free as a bird. And naked is a jaybird. I don't know why jaybirds are the naked ones. Like, all birds are naked.

[Giovanni]

Yeah, they're all naked. At the end of the day. Yeah, at the end of the day.

[Adam Carolla]

Man of God. Yep. Your iPhone, Android mobile device, anything you like, it can all just use the app, go right to GoToMeeting, and kapow, you're on. You're in. Try GoToMeeting free for 30 days. Go to the App store or the Android market. To download the free app, visit GoToMeeting.com GoToMeeting.com Click on the Try it free button. Use the promo code Adam. Good guys, good sponsors, good people. Michael's a good dude. Start his own business. You know, let me say this. Everybody who advertises on the show started their own business and is now using the business that we started to promote their business. And we rely on you to use their business. It's akuna matata, baby. You know how it works. All right, we will take ourselves a break. We're going to do a little Mr. Bright side. Haven't done that in a while. Let me show you my favorite Robert Davi clip from Showgirls. I'll bring it. I'll do it. I don't want to embarrass the man when he comes in here because it's. It's quite R rated. Oh, he's over there. All right, let's see it. Hey, I know he's watching anyway, but that's my favorite scene. Showgirls, One of my favorite movies.

[Brian Bishop]

Touch and go. They touch, they go. You can touch them. They cannot touch you.

[Allison Rosen]

That's good.

[Brian Bishop]

Now if they come, it's okay. They come. Take it out. Come all over. You call a bouncer. Unless he gives you a big tip. If he gives you a big tip, it's okay. You got that?

[Allison Rosen]

Okay.

[Adam Carolla]

Talking to you.

[Brian Bishop]

Where the fuck were you last night?

[Allison Rosen]

I was having my period, Al. You don't want me to get blood all over the place.

[Adam Carolla]

Do you getting.

[Brian Bishop]

Real tired of your shit, kid. If you want to last longer than a week, give me a blow job. First I get you used to the money, then I make you swallow.

[Adam Carolla]

Esther House, officially the creepiest fucking dude on the planet, right? It's official, right? He should be locked up with Sandowski. Like they should build another second prison for Esther House. That is officially the creepiest scene of all time. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Good. All right, quick break. Robert Davi. Next.

[Brian Bishop]

Those fingers in my hair that sly come hither stare Strips my conscience Spirits.

[Adam Carolla]

Witchcraft, jiz flying everywhere it landed in a stripper's hair. Baby, you need new underwear. Go get some tits. Robert Dahby, everybody. Robert. Showgirls, Goonies. License to Kill. Die. Forgot about Die Hard. Yeah. Yeah. So you can see what I'm talking about, right? When I said I pulled up to the Prima Nota, I heard what I thought was Frank Sinatra coming from the speakers. It was Robert up on stage with a full orchestra. When did this start? Has it always been going on?

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, yeah. I mean, well, I started as a kid. See, I wasn't always. You know. Now it's from Esther House to Cy Coleman and Carolyn Lee. I mean, that's a big leap. But the. No, I mean, my. My first love was singing. And I studied opera in Florence with Tito Gobi, who was one of the great, greatest baritones of all time in the opera. And then Dan Farrow from Juilliard, and Samuel Margulies, who taught Robert Merrill.

[Adam Carolla]

So what was the whole. Where did you grow up? When did you grow up? How did this whole odyssey begin?

[Brian Bishop]

Well, I grew up. I was born in Astoria, Queens. That's also Tony Bennett country.

[Adam Carolla]

Sure.

[Brian Bishop]

New York. And Chris Watkins from there. And then I moved to Long island as a kid. An Italian American family. Italian immigrants from Sicily and Naples. We may be related somewhere down the line on the Citizens.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Brian Bishop]

Carolla was my grandmother's maiden name.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, was.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Now, how did she spell it?

[Brian Bishop]

C, A, R, O, L, L, A.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, that's how we spell it.

[Brian Bishop]

That's that. And they were from Sicily.

[Adam Carolla]

Although my dad's brother Ralph, he had a Ralph and a Mario. Perfect. Perfect for Philadelphia back in the. In the day. Right. Ralph. Ralph spelled his name Carollo with an O at the end. And in typical Jim Carolla fashion or Jocko Carolla fashion, when I said to him, how come your brother spells the name with an O and you spell your name with an A? He said, yeah, I don't know.

[Brian Bishop]

They all did that.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

My mother's Maiden name was on my mother's side was Rulo. And they spelled it Ruli Roulet Rule. I mean, it was all different. Each one. There were eight brothers and they all had a different spelling.

[Adam Carolla]

I know. And you know. Know what? Now we're living in a society where everyone is like, excuse me, it's Andrea. It's not Andrea. And that's a first name. And we're supposed to stop the presses for it now. I mean, back then, you'd screw up people's last names. No one give a shit.

[Brian Bishop]

They didn't give a shit.

[Adam Carolla]

No one cared. It'd be like, shut up, Wap. We don't care what your last name is. So you grow up.

[Brian Bishop]

They said, what town are you from? You'd say Messina. That's your last name. They didn't give a shit about your last name.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. So you grow up and you have an interest in music.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, in an Italian family, you have two figures, Caruso and, well, the Pope and Sinatra.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Brian Bishop]

Not necessarily in that order.

[Adam Carolla]

Right, right.

[Brian Bishop]

You know, so you grew up listening to that. And also the Caruso and the opera and the love of that Bel Canto singing. And that was where my early training was as a young kid. And my first passion was the singing. I subsequently then was good at acting and won awards in that as well and went to Hofstra Honest Drama Scholarship. And then. Then studied with Adler and I wound up doing my first film with Frank Sinatra in 1977. If you open that booklet on the top of the cd, there's a picture.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow, look at you.

[Brian Bishop]

There's a picture of me and.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, since.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, there it is right there.

[Adam Carolla]

Looking like a young bowser from Shanon there.

[Brian Bishop]

I was a young kid. We took that. Jilly Rizzo took that shot.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know who Jilly Rizzo was.

[Brian Bishop]

Was. He was. Was Frank's brother. He never had.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, really?

[Brian Bishop]

He was his best friend for many, many years, Jilly Rizzo. And we were downtown la. We were doing pickup shots. They forgot Sinatra's wardrobe that night. And we were sharing the same trailer. And he said to me, let's go. Well, they don't have the wardrobe. Let's go to the Polo Lounge. And we went there that night, and that was the night that picture was taken. But.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

And you said you went to Hofstra.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, Hofstra University.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow. Same school Wes Welker went to. Did you guys hang at all or. Wayne Crabbet, maybe a little bit older? Wayne Crabette, Yeah. That's what I'M thinking of the other short white guy, the other white meat in the NFL. So Sinatra. Now, I think at the feast of San Gennaro, you were telling the story that I thought people might enjoy about having a cocktail with Sinatra back in the day. So how old were you when you.

[Brian Bishop]

22.

[Adam Carolla]

When you met Sinatra?

[Brian Bishop]

22.

[Adam Carolla]

And he was as big as he. I mean, he was Sinatra. He's always been Sinatra.

[Brian Bishop]

Always in Sinatra, yeah. But greatest entertainment, but 77. He was still. I mean, it wasn't. I mean, if. If. Let's put it this way, if there was Michael Jackson and Sinatra in a room, right, People would go to Sinatra.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. You know, and so what was that like for you at 22?

[Brian Bishop]

It was, you know, you got him, especially Italian American now, right. You have this iconic figure from film and singing.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Brian Bishop]

And the whole history of the, you know, the Rat Pack and the whole.

[Adam Carolla]

Sure.

[Brian Bishop]

So here I am at 22 in a social club in Little Italy at 2 o' clock in the morning, doing this film. And I'm standing to the side, Adam. Now, for those that don't know what a social club in Little Italy is, you can imagine in Little Italy, a social club at two in the morning, the atmosphere of a social club. That's where a lot of interesting characters would hang out.

[Adam Carolla]

We hatched the feast of San Gennaro at a social club in Little Italy. Jimmy and I did 10 years ago, mainly Jimmy. But we're like, we need our own San Geneiro. We need a place for Robert Davi to sing. That's Hand of God. I love it. I said, we need a place for Robert, that he need a guy from Showgirls, needs a microphone and a big band behind him. And thus it was born, because we were sitting around Little Italy in one of those social clubs going, why don't we have one of these where we're from? And anyway, so there's a social club.

[Brian Bishop]

2 o' clock in the morning. I'm off to the side. We were, you know, in between shots, and I'm observing Sinatra. He's at the bar with Marty Gables, who was married to Arlene Francis and Harry Guardino, Marty Balsam and some other very interesting Little Italy characters, as well as Jilly Rizzo was there. And I'm off to the side and I'm looking at the Sonata, and he sees me out of the corner of his eye and he says, robert, have a drink. I says, I don't drink, Mr. Sinatra. He says, you don't drink, you're fired. I says, I'll have what you're having. He says, come to the bar. Gets the bottle of Jack Daniels, pours two fingers of Jack in a bucket glass, fills it with ice cubes, water, and the rest is five rehabs later, I'm still drinking Jack Daniels. Jack and Honey. Jack Honey is a new drink.

[Adam Carolla]

Ooh, Jack and Honey.

[Brian Bishop]

Have you tried that?

[Adam Carolla]

No.

[Brian Bishop]

It's three months old. They should promote it on this show because not many people know about it. Jack Honey.

[Adam Carolla]

Important to get people drunk.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, well, the Jack Honey is a nice.

[Adam Carolla]

What now? What is it?

[Brian Bishop]

It's just Jack Daniels with a little bit of that honey in there. You know, I think that would work. It's so good.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I've seen. I've been seeing commercials for.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, there it is. Look at that.

[Adam Carolla]

Now that seems delightful because I'm watching these.

[Brian Bishop]

You guys are good. You guys are.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, my God.

[Brian Bishop]

You know, your facility is fantastic.

[Adam Carolla]

I have to tell. You like it, huh?

[Brian Bishop]

That's great. I did. Yeah. I just walked in that Ferrari.

[Adam Carolla]

What you. Is that 67?

[Brian Bishop]

67?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

You know what? I'm going to have to ask you. We got to do a little photo shoot or something, because I'm doing the Venetian in February now, for those that may or may not know, 67 was the last year the Rat Pack or Sinatra played at the Sands Hotel, which is where the Venetian is.

[Adam Carolla]

I know. I would love 69, but I said 67 because I know that's it. No, no, it's a 67. It is going. Keep going.

[Brian Bishop]

No, but I'd love us to do a little shot because I'd like to maybe use it.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

In the show, that car. Some. Do you think we could do something?

[Adam Carolla]

Absolutely.

[Brian Bishop]

That's a gorgeous car.

[Adam Carolla]

I got to put the bumpers back on it.

[Brian Bishop]

I had them rechromed and the Datsun. The Datsun, you got there and, you know.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

I didn't know you were such a car aficionado. Oh, you've got about 20 or so.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, Yeah. I got cars. I love me some cars. Why not? You know what I mean? If people die on you, houses catch.

[Allison Rosen]

On fire, dogs go blind.

[Adam Carolla]

Dogs. My dogs going blind, you know, Car never had its fender amputated. My dog had its ear amputated. I had to make a stupid thing for it today. It's going blind.

[Brian Bishop]

How old's your dog?

[Adam Carolla]

That's the thing. Not that old. And it's not like it's been a lot of hard living, you know, drinking, whoring. You know what I mean?

[Allison Rosen]

She's gonna catch up to her.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. All the gambling, all the whoring, all the drink has finally caught up to her now pretty much just napping and eating super expensive dog food. Yeah, that's all right. That's right. You know, I'm gonna play Robert Davi, sing Sinatra for her and put her in a good mood. So now, how do you select your Sinatra songs? And then how does it work? Like, you go, I want to sing some Sinatra songs. Do you talk to the Sinatra state? How does it. How does it work?

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. Well, here's how this whole thing came about. I. I did a film a couple of years ago called the Dukes that I directed that some awards, and I sang one song, and it. A doo wop thing. And that comes got me. And I've always wanted to attack the great American Songbook. That was something to me, that is the Shakespeare of America. It's the golden age of American music. It's what made the world fall in love with our country. And it got us through very difficult times, this great American Songbook. And I wanted to, especially now, the divisiveness in the country and the political upheaval and the economic upheaval. This music crosses all generations. Sure. And it just is filled with optimism and hope. So I did a demo, four songs at Capitol Records. I brought it to the chairman of Disney Music, Bob Cavallo, and I played it for him. He said, you want the truth? I says, yeah. So he called down a guy named Kurt Eddy, who's the head of his marketing team, and he played it for Curt. And after like 25 seconds, Kurt said, let's get involved. And then that imperator. I then went and got Phil Remote Ramon, who produced the album, and Al Schmidt, who mixed it, and Dan Wallen and Nick Tenbrook did all the arranging. Now, Sinatra didn't write any of these songs.

[Adam Carolla]

Did he write any songs?

[Brian Bishop]

Yes, he did. He wrote about four or five songs. He wrote I'm a Fool to want you and then a couple of others.

[Adam Carolla]

Please don't say Abracadabra.

[Brian Bishop]

He did not do Abracadabra.

[Adam Carolla]

Thank you.

[Brian Bishop]

He did not do that.

[Adam Carolla]

So he wasn't. I never really thought about it. He wasn't really much of a prolific songwriter. Oh, no.

[Brian Bishop]

He didn't write them.

[Adam Carolla]

Everyone else's songs.

[Brian Bishop]

No. But there were guys that wrote these songs an inordinate amount of. You'll find Jewish immigrants and the sons and daughters of Jewish immigrants. So I always say, if there were no Jews, we wouldn't have the great American songbook. Because you've got the Cy Coleman's, the Harold Arlens, who was a cantor's son, Yip Harburg. You've got also the Johnny Mercer who was here since the Revolutionary War, and the amalgam of people that wrote the.

[Adam Carolla]

Who were the couple of Jews that were brothers that did all the Disney stuff for all those many years. I just saw an interesting documentary on those guys. They're two brothers.

[Brian Bishop]

Not the Gershwins.

[Adam Carolla]

No, not the Gershwins, but two Jewish dudes. They were brothers. I think they hate each other's guts. But they wrote all those great, you know, when you wish upon a star and all that stuff. They did all that Disney. Oh, the Sherman. Sherman brothers, yeah. They did all that Disney stuff from, you know, way back in the day to even the modern stuff, you know, before they started doing all that sort of stunt casting, like with Elton John and stuff like that.

[Allison Rosen]

Back in the Good lady and the Tramp days.

[Adam Carolla]

Right? Yeah. Then all of a sudden, they got like Phil Collins involved and it all went in the shitter. But they'd have. Those two would just do all the, I don't know, you know, chim chimney. Chim chimney and all that, you know, bed knobs and broomsticks and all that. All that crap. You forget about all the good stuff that came out of Disney. They're weird. Like, they're like. They were a record. They're like. Label. Oh, yeah, the record label.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. That's the Disney music group. That's the head. That's what Kamala's the head of.

[Adam Carolla]

Unbelievable. So you pick out the songs you want to do.

[Brian Bishop]

Right. So the idol, the. The album's called Dobby Singh Sinatra on the Road to Romance. So first, thematically, songs that relate to the road to romance, which is a phrase from Nice and Easy done by the Bergmans and Lou Spence. And that is the beginning of seduction. The elation of falling in love. The falling in love, the depth of love, the falling out of love, the despair of loss of love, and then the. The rebuilding of self. So that was one thematic element of picking the songs. Then it was.

[Allison Rosen]

This has nothing to do with Showgirls then.

[Brian Bishop]

No, no, it had nothing to do. My. This is. It has to do with who I really am. If, If. If I could say anything. The. You know what? I feel like a guy that's been locked. I don't know how to explain. Express this to somebody. But for so many years, I played the band bad guy. You know, I mean, I did the good guy in Profiler. And different things, but. So you're locked in and people don't know who the hell you really are. They think you're that character or this character where. This is who I am.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Brian Bishop]

If I have to say anything, the expression through song is really who I. So I feel like 25 years old and unleashed for the first time in 25 or 26 years that have been in movies.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, I've always said it. We don't have a lot of time, as mentioned members of society, to fully investigate everybody all the time. And we usually err on the side of negative. Like, you know, you see some guy who's rich and you go, I get it. Daddy's money. Moving on. You'll never think super hardworking entrepreneur. You just go. You just. It's so easy just to go. Even when someone adopts three kids, like, yeah, what's in it for them? Believe me, they're hammering those checks they get from the state. You know, I'll just take whatever anyone's doing, just put a negative spin on it, and then I walk away. I never think about it it again. And you realize most people deserve a little more than that. You know, they have talents or like I said, when you find out some celebrity can sing, you're like, sure, he can sing. I'll bet he can say, like, there's always that. It's like when someone starts a band. Well, maybe. Maybe when it comes to, like, rock bands, they're. They're correct. Although, you know, I've not heard Keanu Reeves. I've not heard Dog Star. Not good.

[Giovanni]

Deep.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay. Heavy. Deep cut. All right, so, Robert, we're going to do a little something. This speaking to the happy side of Robert Davi, Mr. Bright side. It's a bit I used to do on the radio where people say, look, I got a problem. And I make them feel better by explaining there's people that have it worse than they do. It's one of those. Well, I'm sure your mom did it to you at the table.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, absolutely.

[Adam Carolla]

Right?

[Brian Bishop]

Absolutely.

[Adam Carolla]

You didn't want to eat your broccoli. She told you about people that were having less fortunate kill your fur. A sprig of broccoli.

[Brian Bishop]

Sprig of broccoli, Right.

[Adam Carolla]

You got something? Oh, we got it. Life got you down? Can't catch a break. Thinking about ending it all. Well, don't let Adam turn your frown upside down. It's time for Mr. Brightside. All right. Talk to the phones. You know what? Don't that song got to go away? Because I like that song. Robert's going to strand on me. Hey, Charlotte.

[Caller]

Hey, Adam.

[Adam Carolla]

What's going on?

[Caller]

Nothing. Absolutely nothing. That's why I called.

[Adam Carolla]

What's the problem, sweetie?

[Caller]

I'm 27 and I've been living with my parents for the last two years. Moved out when I was 18, like normal. Went to college, got a full time job, wanted to make more money, so I quit that job job, went back to school, got my master's degree and I haven't been able to find a job ever since. And so then I had to move back in with my parents.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Caller]

Which I hate. Because, you know, nobody wants to move back in with their parents after you've gotten used to on your own. And so I basically been living off.

[Adam Carolla]

My parents for the last two years. All right, all right. Quiet, big fat person. First off, you're a chick, so that's good. Because when a dude moves back with his parents, it is goddamn pathetic. Pathetic when you're dating. Like if I was dating a 27 year old chick and she told me she lived with her parents, I'd almost think it was quaint. We'd have to screw in the car. But no. So you're not a dude. You don't have a penis. Quiet. You don't have a penis. That's number one. Number two, in a few short years, your parents will be living with you if you can stick it out, you know what I mean? At a certain point, you cross over into your parents living with. With you. At least that's the way society will look at. You'll be an angel. You'll be taking care of your elderly parents. Where'd you get your master's in business Administration. All right.

[Caller]

Mba.

[Adam Carolla]

All right. So it's not like my mom got her master's in Chicano studies and could do nothing.

[Caller]

I thought, you know.

[Adam Carolla]

Your parents, are they decent folks?

[Caller]

Yeah, no, they're awesome. They don't, you know, make me feel bad about living there.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, but have you heard him having. Quiet. Have you heard him having sex yet?

[Caller]

No.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, now listen. You know what? You don't have problems.

[Brian Bishop]

Can I weigh in on that?

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Brian Bishop]

The other thing there, Charlotte, is that I lost my parents at like 21 and 22 years old. And the idea of be able to spend any time with your parents. And I think today with this, the way the world is going, I mean, in Europe, it's quite a common thing with the economy. Oh, people, the kids, even the guys in Italy especially still bring a load.

[Adam Carolla]

Of laundry home every Week and spend with Mom.

[Brian Bishop]

Spend it with mom to get food.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah. That's the way it works. So you get, A, some quality adult time with your parents. B, they're not judging. C, you don't have to hear them have sex. And your chick, you don't get judged like, dudes, dudes moving home. That's tail between the legs action. All right, that's not a real problem. Let's move on. Let's talk to Steven. Steven.

[Caller]

Yes, man.

[Adam Carolla]

What's going on?

[Caller]

Yeah, just.

[Adam Carolla]

Just here.

[Caller]

I pretty much, like, I've been having the problem where people have been leaving the gate, and I have a little Chihuahua.

[Adam Carolla]

Mm.

[Caller]

Yep. He got. He got hit, like, about a week ago.

[Adam Carolla]

You don't have one of those big, husky, morbidly obese Chihuahuas. You have a little one.

[Caller]

Not tiny. They're all. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Caller]

Really annoying, though. But yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

I mean, your dog got hit by a car. Listen, first off, you know, the bad news is your dog got hit by a car. The good news is your dog is a Chihuahua, which is sort of a lateral move from Rodentia. Chihuahuas are some of the worst fucking pets on the planet. If I had it my way, I'd put them all in those cannons that fire T shirts at the Lakers game and just fire them in the side of movie. I cannot stand a Chihuahua. I would like to see Doug Flutie drop kick Chihuahuas all day. When I'm rich, he drop kicks.

[Giovanni]

Last guy to do it.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay, When I'm rich, I'm gonna hire Doug Flutie. I'm gonna get his special needs child, and we're gonna sit down in folding chairs. I'm gonna have an adult beverage, maybe some Jack and Honey. I'll give him just like, you know, yoo Hoo. And I'm gonna get a sack of Chihuahuas, and I'll say, doug, I want you to drink drop kicks for me and your son all day long.

[Brian Bishop]

What is it about the Chihuahua?

[Adam Carolla]

All they do is yap and snarl and smack. And you could fix a Chihuahua's leg with a couple of popsicle sticks and some gaffer's tape. Like, it's not no big operation there.

[Brian Bishop]

Because I used to. Not like my aunt had one, an uncle, and it was the yappiest. And then we finally got one for the kids years ago, and it turned.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

I mean, I turned into a Chihuahua like her.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, man, I like him, too.

[Allison Rosen]

And are you now an Adam Carolla?

[Adam Carolla]

Not like her.

[Brian Bishop]

No, no, no. I misjudged people. I misjudged the Chihuahuas.

[Adam Carolla]

You know what the Doug Flutie thing was set out of? Great love. Flutie fan. Yeah. He was the last.

[Allison Rosen]

The Chihuahuas will never be able to get that kind of air on their own. And that's why you want to give.

[Adam Carolla]

Them a little sights. They'll never know what it's like to sail through the uprights.

[Brian Bishop]

Now. Do you know what I tried to do a couple years ago? I had a.

[Allison Rosen]

That was really cute.

[Brian Bishop]

I had a congressman out of Michigan named Thaddeus Micarta write. I told him, I said, listen, because I was into this. I'm into the animals thing. I help support the Humane Society and stuff and the animal rights.

[Adam Carolla]

I love the animals as well.

[Allison Rosen]

He likes to rescue them.

[Brian Bishop]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

And then kick them through.

[Brian Bishop]

Kick him through a thing and give him the Doug Flutie. But no, with this here, we had, he wrote, called the Happy Act, Helping animal and people partner through the years. And the whole idea of it was that the way you can take deductions for your medical bills, people that have pets, they're like family members.

[Adam Carolla]

Members. Right.

[Brian Bishop]

So why not give a minimum deduction or maximum deduction of $3,500 a year for the feeding and medical care of your pet? So you can deduct that. Not per each pet, but if you have 10. Yeah. So it got attacked. Listen. By both the left and the right. No one liked the bill.

[Adam Carolla]

Why not?

[Brian Bishop]

I have no clue.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, there's weird.

[Brian Bishop]

I did the Washington Post. They did a big article on it, Op ed piece. But everybody was attacking this poor thing. Steve would have been okay now with the animals.

[Adam Carolla]

Hey, Steven. Yeah, yeah. Living in India with a Chihuahua with a broken leg.

[Caller]

Actually, I did the. The whole popsicle thing, but after a few days, took him to the vet. So, you know, the bill's gonna be pretty depressing.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, have you got the. Have you got the. The bill from the vet yet?

[Caller]

No, not yet.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, so you don't know.

[Allison Rosen]

I have an important question. How is it that a Chihuahua can get hit by a car? And it's like leg gets broken, but it doesn't get killed? Like, how small is this car?

[Adam Carolla]

Clown car.

[Brian Bishop]

Okay.

[Adam Carolla]

Is it big wheel, drunken clown, hot dogging, showing off?

[Caller]

I wasn't there. I wasn't there when it got hit.

[Brian Bishop]

It was one of those radio controlled cars.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah, yeah. Barbie car. Barbie dream car.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it was. It was the one from Toy Story. Hey, Stephen, here's the Good news. You're 23. You got your whole life ahead of you, even if you're doing Dog doesn't. All right, buddy. That's right. Be happy. That's right. Laugh it up. That's the most important thing, is laugh. That's what Sinatra. I would say. All right, Someone had hernia surgery. Let's talk to Steve. Steve.

[Steve]

Hey, how you doing?

[Adam Carolla]

Adam? What's going on? Steve, you're 53, so you don't have your whole life ahead of you, but go ahead.

[Steve]

I sure don't. I sure don't. Actually, I met Robert Dahlby once, too.

[Alec Baldwin]

You remember me?

[Adam Carolla]

Well, he was just talking about Steve from Chatsworth.

[Brian Bishop]

Where did we meet Steve?

[Steve]

Yeah, actually, we met when you did in the Mix. I'm friends with a buddy. One of my buddies was in it with you.

[Adam Carolla]

Who?

[Steve]

Bobby Costanzo.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, yeah. I did it. I did it with. With Usher. That was Usher's film. Me and Chaz played the two mob guys in that. In the mix.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay, I remember Steve. Come on, buddy.

[Steve]

Sure. I. I didn't think he would forget.

[Adam Carolla]

No.

[Brian Bishop]

Did you have the hernia? Hern. Her. The hernia. Then when I met you.

[Steve]

No, it was after that. This was. This was really good because the first hernia surgery went bad. So a few months later, I had to get another one, which put me on disability. But here's the deal, okay? So I have hernia surgery. I get out of the hospital, go back to work. I get fired for missing two weeks of work because I was in the hospital. So then 10 days later, see, I get hit with. I called it a kismet of shit because I get surgery, then I get a job, and then on my 50th birthday, I get my divorce paper.

[Adam Carolla]

Mmm. Mm. Hi, Steve. First off, let's use this as an opportunity to own some of this stuff for a second. You had to be a horrible employee, otherwise they wouldn't have been looking for an excuse to shit can your ass. Let me explain.

[Steve]

Well, I think the guy that hired me got fired, so then they just fired everybody that he had hired.

[Adam Carolla]

Right, but if you'd been awesome, they wouldn't have fired you.

[Steve]

I'd only been there for a minute.

[Adam Carolla]

Month. All right. I'm just saying.

[Allison Rosen]

And he missed two weeks of it.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, he's been there for a month, and he's been two weeks with hernia surgery. All right. Either way. And served with the divorce papers.

[Steve]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

All right.

[Brian Bishop]

How long were you married?

[Steve]

18 years.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, but kidding. How bad is divorce these days? You know what I mean?

[Steve]

Oh, the divorce was a relief.

[Adam Carolla]

And it's not like. Like he had any money to Get. Give her.

[Steve]

She took all of it.

[Adam Carolla]

No, I had.

[Steve]

I had money. I wasn't. I wasn't broke or anything else. I had a. I had a Mercedes. My kids had braces.

[Adam Carolla]

Right?

[Steve]

I mean, I wasn't literally a millionaire like you, but I did okay.

[Adam Carolla]

All right. Kid had a retainer. And you had a 190 from 1983. Awesome.

[Steve]

No, CLK320.

[Adam Carolla]

Lookout World.

[Allison Rosen]

And what kind of braces?

[Steve]

The good ones. I don't know, the silver ones.

[Adam Carolla]

All right. Where are you calling? You're in Chatsworth. I used to work out there. Yeah, I used to work off of Owensmouth in Devonshire.

[Steve]

Oh, I'm off of Devonshire, too.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Steve]

And Independence.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm gonna swing by on my way home. Bucks.

[Giovanni]

Aren't you supposed to make it feel better? Oh, sorry, Mr. Brightside.

[Adam Carolla]

No, no. Let me tell you something. First I tear him down, then I build them up again. You know what I mean? This a rehab.

[Giovanni]

Here we go.

[Adam Carolla]

You don't come in and put a coat of paint on bad stucco. You sandbox blast it. First you take it down, then you put a scratch coat and a color coat on. And then you put a nice coat of elastomeric on.

[Allison Rosen]

It's not in the turd polishing business, Brian.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right. That's right. I break that turd down and I rebuild it into Mount Turd Moore. Steve, you'll be fine. You got your intellect, you got your sense of humor. Your old lady, 18 years. That's enough. Tired of having sex with her?

[Steve]

No, trust me. It was worth. She took everything and it. Was it worth?

[Alec Baldwin]

Worth it?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. She did you a favor. And what. What's your business right now?

[Steve]

Looking for work. It was about a year and a half. I couldn't even get out of bed because of the second surgery. It almost killed me.

[Adam Carolla]

I understand, but your business?

[Steve]

No, I'm a sales guy. And I also. I act, but I don't make. I don't make money at it.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. No. Ass. So what, you're what we call a people person, Olive. Exactly right. All right. So you're fine as long as you got that million dollar smile of yours. And now there's no hernia to go wrong. So you're gonna have your next gig. You end up selling used RVs out of Whittier. It's gonna be awesome.

[Steve]

I was thinking about that.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, Steve. You keep on keeping on. Look at you. You're breathing fresh air.

[Steve]

It's good talking to you again. I like our little chat.

[Brian Bishop]

All right, Steve, you could be in.

[Adam Carolla]

Beirut, you could be in Tikrete right now in a spider hole. All right? When I don't have a go to, that's what I go to. Good stuff. Yeah. All right, let's do the last one. Let's see, line one. Who's that? Mick. Mick. Well, first off, your name is Mick, so you're way ahead of the game because that's a cool name. Mick's every guy's buddy and all the chicks want to have sex with Mick.

[Giovanni]

And you're the man, right?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Huh.

[Caller]

It's actually Nick with an N. Oh shit.

[Adam Carolla]

This is the disaster.

[Brian Bishop]

Nick's a good, good name too.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh wow.

[Caller]

I don't know what I do about.

[Adam Carolla]

They wrote Mick up on the board. You're Nick?

[Caller]

Yes, I'm Nick.

[Adam Carolla]

That's different. Well, now I'm rolling my sleeves up. Now I got my work cut out for me. Nobody likes Nick.

[Giovanni]

Thought you're on easy street with Nick.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, this is going to be an easy one. Go ahead.

[Caller]

Well, I got a mechanical engineering degree in last December and I haven't been able to find a job, so I've been working part time at Dick's Sporting Goods folding clothes. But shit really hit the fan this last couple weeks. Starting off with week and a half ago, my dad, who was a partner at his civil engineering firm, got laid off and just kind of shit canned one day.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, how do you get shit canned when you're. Hold on. When you're in a. Part of the. When your partner. Oh man, can you imagine Mick. Mick working at Dick's Sporting. Good. I mean, that sounds so good. Where's Mick? Down at Dick's. Oh man.

[Giovanni]

I'll tell you what though, a Mick never would work at Dick's.

[Adam Carolla]

Nah, it's true, Nick.

[Giovanni]

I'm never going to hand out about it.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, sure. So your dad gets shit canned even though he's made partner over at the firm there, right?

[Caller]

Yeah. Well, the other two partners were the ones that founded the company before he started working there.

[Adam Carolla]

He's a civilian. He's a civil engineer. What kind of engineering do you do?

[Caller]

Mechanical.

[Adam Carolla]

Uh huh. He couldn't get you a gig over there, huh?

[Allison Rosen]

No.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, he got me an internship when I was in college.

[Caller]

Now this is a different industry. It doesn't hold as much weight.

[Adam Carolla]

Right, right. So here you are with your mechanical engineering degree. What would be your dream job?

[Caller]

I don't know, some sort of design engineer. Like some. Right now I'm an entry level position, but hopefully some sort of project supervisor somewhere.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, you're 23 years of age. You live with your dad, right? You can make fun of him.

[Caller]

I lived at home for the last eight months. When I got a part time job, I moved in with my roommate just so I can get out of the house.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, you're out of the house. You can make fun of your dad for not having a job. He ever gives you any shit?

[Caller]

Actually, he works as a delivery driver for dad. Domino's.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow. I mean. Oh, really? The guy made his partners a civil engineer and he's driving around a car with the Domino's thing on top.

[Caller]

Yep.

[Giovanni]

Mixed work ethic.

[Brian Bishop]

You know what?

[Adam Carolla]

Free pizza for you, by the way.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, those guys would take any kind of job. You know, Good tip.

[Adam Carolla]

But that's good pizza for you, Nick. Thin crust, by the way. Always order the thin crust.

[Caller]

I'm a fan of the thin crust.

[Alec Baldwin]

Can't stand it.

[Adam Carolla]

Have dad drop a pie off. You know, I would have my dad drop off a pie every night and just do the thing where he said, ah, it slid open in the back seat and it got all over the place. So I went to get you a new pie and just drop it off at my son's place. Yeah, I got a dad who works at Domino's. Yeah, if mom gets a job at Chuck E. Cheese, you're in, man. Be the greatest one, two combination ever. You're 23 and you have your degree in mechanical engineering. All right? So you don't have a gig, but you're still ahead of the game because at a relatively young age you have an advanced degree and you. Engineering. So you're gonna have to get yourself a job. The economy will straighten out. We'll get a white. I mean, we'll get it. Look at the economy. We'll get the election, and the economy will get back on its feet and pow, you'll get yourself a job and you'll be ordering pizza from Pops.

[Giovanni]

And also looking at changing your name to Mick.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, let's look at Mick. Let's explore Mick. Not a big jump, you know, just a little sharpie action on that North Carolina license of yours. And all of a sudden you're Mick and riding. Hi. All right. I'm playing a gig in North Carolina. I'm in Durham. Well, he doesn't have money. You can't go see me. Not interested in him.

[Giovanni]

It's a lot of pieces.

[Adam Carolla]

All right. I think I patched people up pretty well, didn't I, Robert? Feel good about that.

[Brian Bishop]

I think they've. They're much happier right now, especially the Chihuahua. I think he's doing the.

[Adam Carolla]

I didn't know. Next time, cut me off when I get halfway into the Doug Flutie thing. If you had a chance. Chihuahua. We're going to do a little more news I should tell you about. Discount Tire and America's Tire. By the way, Robert was talking about my cars. Oh, yeah. I'm going racing. I just ordered some slicks from these guys. They will find it for you. If they don't have it, they'll get it. At least they'll get it for me. That's the greatest thing ever. I don't care. I love myself some tires. I get excited. Brian, a test to this. I would come into Loveline. If someone got a new set of tires on their car, I would come in and mention it to them. At night in an unlit parking lot, I would tell you if you got new tires on your car. I stare at people's tires.

[Brian Bishop]

You check those out?

[Adam Carolla]

I check them out. I'm telling you.

[Brian Bishop]

And what's this company called?

[Adam Carolla]

Discount Tire and America's Tire. Same company. First off, all those accidents, all those SUV rollovers, they had tires that weren't properly inflated. You got a family. You got to get some good rubber on the road. It's for you. It's for your kids. You're putting your kids, you put them in the child seat, you get the airbags, get them all strapped in. Meanwhile, you got bad tires or not properly inflated tires. Pow. You're rolling down the side of Pike's Peak. Come on.

[Brian Bishop]

Would you not get your kids good shoes, Dan? Right.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow. Yeah. Would you let them run around in huarachis?

[Brian Bishop]

No.

[Adam Carolla]

No. The dead of winter. Speaking of winter, winter's upon us. You got to get those winter tires. That's right. Not just for snow. No. They grip the road better than the all season tires. And weather conditions. 45 degrees and below. And that's probably where three quarters of the country is right now. Let's play it safe. Drive with confidence all winter long. Get your winter tires today at Discount Tire in America's Tire. Love these dudes. All right, we got a little more news to go. Let's get in. Here's the rest of the news with Allison Rosen.

[Allison Rosen]

Santa Monica Police Department is asking for a ban on food trucks in the late night hours in order to get rid of the loitering, troublemaking drunks who are their customers. The Santa Monica Police Department says they have had to allocate funds and officers to the area of Main street between Ocean Park Boulevard and Marine street on weekend nights in order to deal with the jaywalking, noise ordinance violations and aggravated assault. They say food trucks parked out there around last car create a quote hazard that attracts intoxicated people and gums up the streets, sidewalks and other public spaces.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, how about all your fucking homeless people Santa Monica, by the way, you just have homeless guys just pissing all over the place. No problem with that? No problemo. That's fine. And I know the very dangerous criminal known as the jaywalker that needs to be cracked down upon in Santa Monica, by the way.

[Giovanni]

That was my hangout spot when I was single. That exact area. And getting rid of the food trucks will not change the drunk problem. That place. Place is lousy with drunks.

[Adam Carolla]

Good.

[Brian Bishop]

You think it's the title of the food truck that they don't like Fish lips.

[Adam Carolla]

We're looking at one called Fish Lips. You know, I'll tell you what pisses me off about all these gourmet food trucks. Not all the drunken people hanging out and vomiting everywhere. It's my. This was my. I walked in the snow to go to school every day. This is my story I was going to give to my kids. You know what I mean? Because I work constrained and I was. I always have that story loaded up. Daddy had to eat off a food truck. Oh, awesome. What was the theme? Sushi or saucas? No, you understand. It's a Mexican chick just made us on a shingle. Oh, you ate on a food truck. That's a no, it's a negative exam. Yes, it's that all my cry me a river, you know, And I don't get no, I get. I get nothing from the kids anymore.

[Giovanni]

Now they look for a rice patty.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm such saying. Yeah, you to be eating off a lunch truck used to be meant you had a shitty job, you had a horrible existence. And now it's super cool that at.

[Brian Bishop]

Lunch people are going on dates like that.

[Adam Carolla]

Hey, let's find where the food truck truck date. I know. All right.

[Allison Rosen]

The police say that while it's not the food truck's fault, they do happen to capitalize on the bar patrons. And serving them street food keeps those often intoxic, intoxicated customers lingering in public longer.

[Adam Carolla]

Say it soaks up some of the booze.

[Giovanni]

That's absolutely right.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Or you want them just getting into the car.

[Allison Rosen]

I think they just want them getting away from that part.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, T.S. santa Monica, you like people hanging out.

[Brian Bishop]

I think it's the stores that are there that are probably complaining and that's why the locals.

[Adam Carolla]

But they're closed.

[Giovanni]

It's 2am and by the way, remember the whole food truck thing we did on the radio show? Or was it here? Wherever we did it, it was the whole debate and everything with the. It's really. There's plenty of places on that street, that exact area. Local businesses like little like taco stands and such where drunks linger, standing in line to get their 2am tacos because the bar's closed. They drunk.

[Adam Carolla]

It's just.

[Giovanni]

This is just local businesses trying to get the food trucks out of the way. That's nothing to do with the drunks hanging out.

[Adam Carolla]

And there's nothing better than when you're shit faced and you see that taco truck. Oh, yeah. I mean, that is awesome. Yeah.

[Giovanni]

Or the Kome beef truck.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. All right, T.S. santa Monica, nobody likes you.

[Allison Rosen]

NBC News has hired. Every time you say T.S. i think you're saying P.S. and then I realized, now you're saying T.S.

[Adam Carolla]

Tough shit. You and your stupid rent control and your bums. Your chicken tickets.

[Allison Rosen]

And you're being inconvenient to every other place in Los Angeles.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes, tough.

[Brian Bishop]

You know, I got the worst chicken ticket ever over there in Santa Monica. I was.

[Adam Carolla]

I know.

[Brian Bishop]

Park in my car outside of Starbucks. I was in my car with the car running. The car was running. I was in the car running outside of Starbucks and the meter guy comes along. And all of a sudden I see some. Somebody from in front of me tapping on my window saying, hey, the media guy's writing you a ticket in the car. I was in my car and the re. And I turned around and the guy was writing me, gave me a ticket.

[Allison Rosen]

You couldn't get out of it?

[Brian Bishop]

I couldn't, no. He says, I already started writing. I said, but I'm in the car, it's running. I'm just waiting for my daughter to come out of the Starbucks with a coffee, right. I said, you could have told me, hey, buddy, move right?

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, please. Listen, Santa Monica does the same Santa Monica, Glendale, Burbank. They all just declared war on taxpayers a long time ago. They did some pretty simple math. You have money, illegal. Guys selling flowers, standing around or selling hot dogs from a shopping cart that they ripped off from the Gelsons does not make them any money. That costs them money. You, my friend, have a checking account. So even though we tax the shit out of you, we're still gonna get you a second time for chicken shit tickets. And Santa Monica's the king. The king of that. I don't know. One of these days, there ought to be some sort of cage match to find out who writes more chicken shit tickets. Glendale, Burbank, or Santa Monica?

[Brian Bishop]

Let's occupy the chicken shit ticket place.

[Adam Carolla]

So awesome.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah, I was at one of those pay bureau things, and I heard this guy, this older guy, saying to the woman behind the counter, but, you know, the street sweeper had already been by when I was parked there. I was thinking, out, please. There's like, no, come on.

[Adam Carolla]

I've had that before.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah, but I mean, it's, like, so obvious that there's. If they say you can't park here between this hour and this hour, regardless of the intent, they are going to.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. For street cleaning. Even if there's wet tracks going by. No, I'm gonna start a fight. I'm gonna go down to Glendale, and I'm just gonna hang around at, like, a cop bar, and I'm going to just pretend I'm drunk and start talking really loud. Yeah, man. Just got my second jaywalking ticket over in Santa Monica. And then get the guys fired up. Oh, they think their shit doesn't stink. Oh, yeah. I'm saying nobody writes a jaywalking ticket like Santa Monica. And they're going to be like, hey, man, we invented the jaywalking ticket. I don't know. Tell that to Santa Monica, because they're the new king. Oh, really? They think they can write more chicken tickets in Glendale? We invented chicken shit tickets. I don't know, man. I'm just saying. I got a couple friends got some tickets for not much. Oh, yeah. And then we'd have a nice big battle to see who writes more chicken shit tickets. Santa Monica or Glendale. Have it out. I gotta get Ma. You know, we gotta get on this show. We gotta get Marley Matlin's husband on here. Who's like, the Glen. The chief of police or something. For Glendale. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Tried to confront me on Dancing with the Stars. Fucking nailed his assault.

[Allison Rosen]

You on Dancing with the Stars?

[Adam Carolla]

He did.

[Allison Rosen]

Sorry, Brian.

[Adam Carolla]

Huh?

[Giovanni]

I didn't hear about this either. I don't know about the dance.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, I've said it before, but. Tell the cop mustache. No, I've been calling Burbank. I think it was Burbank. I'd been calling Burbank Rape bank my entire life, because all the chicken shit tickets. And every time someone says, I got a jy, I go, let me guess. And I goes, I know guys have gotten chicken fucking Jaywalking. Tickets on side streets in Burbank. Like, not in major. Not on big streets, on little streets. I didn't even know that was a law that you couldn't do that. But they ride out. So he confronted me at Dancing with the Stars. Like, here I've been talking a lot of smack about Burbank and all the chicken shit tickets we hand out. And I said, you answer me this question. And then we move on. Amount of tickets handed out in the city of Burbank and 11 month jaywalking. Amount of tickets handed out in the state of Louisiana in five years for jaywalking. Now what do you think? And he shut up. Because they know they write more jaywalking tickets in one month than in the fucking state of Louisiana does in five years. And it's so fucking freeing when you go to New York and you're just walking. It's like you're an American again. It's awesome. You get to use your brain and your ears and your eyeballs. Like, hey, there's no cars. I'm gonna cross the street using my own feet, my own fucking brain, and my own instincts. I'm just gonna. I'm just gonna throw caution to the wind and cross the street because there's no cars. Santa Monica obviously don't give a fuck about safety. If they gave a shit about safety, they'd round up the fucking hobos and get them the fuck out of there. They don't care about safety. They want to generate money. I understand you want to generate money. That's your gig. But don't take it from the people that are paying your fucking salaries. Have a fucking policeman's ball. Show some fucking dignity.

[Allison Rosen]

And don't take it from the people who are just trying to do some polite speed walking.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes, thank you. Geez.

[Allison Rosen]

NBC News has hired Chelsea Clinton as a full time correspondent for NBC News. The company said Monday that Clinton, who was also recently named to the board of Barry Diller's iac, will work with Rock center with Brian Williams and NBC Nightly News to highlight stories within the Making a Difference franchise. Franchise, which tends to profile organizations and people doing extraordinary things.

[Adam Carolla]

Like the guy who straightened her hair. That guy's a hero.

[Allison Rosen]

Mr. Brazil or Mr. Japan. It depends. That just looks like a straightening iron. Don't even get me started on straightening.

[Adam Carolla]

Either way, that man is a hero. Cause that old hair was a disaster.

[Allison Rosen]

It was Elaine Boozler hair.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, yeah, it was. Yeah.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah, it was.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Elaine Boozler must have saw her and been like, what? And Then, like, slowly reached up to make sure that hers was still there. Her was still there. Like. Yeah, yeah. Like you do with your wallet when you're in a bad neighborhood, like, where you pat your ass. Like, is that still in there?

[Allison Rosen]

And while we're talking about hair, I recently said something on my blog about curtains. And then someone said, do the curtains match the drapes? And I thought, please. You just said, do the curtains match the curtains?

[Adam Carolla]

Mm. It was stupid. Yeah. Now we gotta find Boozler. Mm. Yeah, we'll find that. Don't worry. This is gonna be satisfying.

[Allison Rosen]

Jennabush hager.com of. Well, duh. George Bush already works as a correspondent for NBC's Today Show. And Meghan McCain.

[Adam Carolla]

Now that's some hair. That's a bush, Jenna Bush. That's a hair. That's nice hair.

[Allison Rosen]

It is good hair. She does. I. I would almost say that she has. Well, no, Barbara has good hair, too. The Bush twins did well in the hair department.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. It's like they stole Chelsea's hair, put it on them. You know what I mean?

[Allison Rosen]

Chelsea's new hair.

[Adam Carolla]

No, I mean, it's like, oh, the chair that.

[Allison Rosen]

The hair that Chelsea should have had.

[Adam Carolla]

It was like a game of musical hair, and they took all of it. There they are.

[Allison Rosen]

That's what it should be. If you're born with lousy hair, you're born to a bad game of musical hair.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. He just didn't get a hair chair. Where were we? Yeah, she took Boozer's hair. Mm. I was explaining my. I'm gonna bring in a picture of my hair when it was straight. My hair was completely straight.

[Allison Rosen]

When did this happen?

[Giovanni]

Me too.

[Allison Rosen]

Really? Wait, you had straight hair as a kid?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Allison Rosen]

What happened when you got pregnant to get curly? Because that will change your hair.

[Adam Carolla]

I had. It was. It was a puberty thing. It was the exact same hair arc that Peter Brady's hair trajectory. Hair trajectory that they took. Where they started off in season one, they had straight hair. And then somewhere around season three, it started getting curly, but they didn't know what to do with it, so they just started, like, just sort of pushing it down.

[Allison Rosen]

Nothing worse than someone who doesn't know what to do with curly hair.

[Adam Carolla]

And then they all had the Jew fro by season five. That's what happened with me. You didn't know it. I mean, Mike lynch find you a picture somewhere in there. I don't know, maybe some Peter Brady.

[Allison Rosen]

Sort of parted down the middle hair, and maybe you were wearing puka shells. And if not, you should have been. I've seen that photo.

[Adam Carolla]

Pookie shells. A little rich for the Corolla blood. They did have the plastic.

[Allison Rosen]

Robert, anything you care to share about your hair?

[Brian Bishop]

Well, it was very curly at times. You saw that one shot? Yeah, I had a curly thing going on for a while, you know, just. Yeah, I remember my first headshot was a really curly hair. It was. It was. And then it straightened out and thinned out.

[Adam Carolla]

People thought I got a perm. That's me. When my hair tried to be matted down, when it started to go curly.

[Brian Bishop]

You look like Bob Costa at 18.

[Adam Carolla]

That's Bob Costa at age 41. Couldn't spell my last name. No, I don't want me.

[Allison Rosen]

Was everyone stoned in 1978? Everyone just looked stoned in the.

[Adam Carolla]

I think I just look stone in my photo. Yeah. See if you can find one of me when I was. When my hair was straight. When I was like five, four years, six years old.

[Brian Bishop]

You went to Walter Reed High School there?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it's the picture that they.

[Brian Bishop]

When did you guys move from Philly? To here?

[Adam Carolla]

When I. When I was little, my dad lived in Philly, and then we went back and forth for a while and eventually just settled here. Probably like age six, something like that. And my dad. Actually, it was kind of funny because my dad lived in such a shitty neighborhood in South Philly, and at some point his grandma. When grandma kicked off Philly, grandma kicked off real estate prices out here. It was the early 80s, and real estate prices out here were going nutty. It's like houses were $110,000, $150,000. Like in the Valley. I remember 100. Remember. It's a sort of a young kid, or at least a younger person thinking, wow, $100,000, man, that was $100,000. So when grandma's place in South Philly, which had been paid for 50 years ago, when grandma from Philly died, I remember thinking to myself, wait a minute, my dad's going to come into some cash here, because this old man's never made a penny. But now he's going to come in, it's going to be like 100 grand. My dad's going to have $100,000. Maybe I'll get a mini bike out of. Of this deal. House sold for like $14,000. And he had to split it with his brother Mario and Ralph. Good times.

[Brian Bishop]

That's what my parents on Long Island. Their house cost them. I think it was 14, 11 or $14,000. And they made a $60 a month payment.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, my God. Could you imagine?

[Brian Bishop]

That was their mortgage and then they paid it off and then died. That was said.

[Adam Carolla]

But. But did you, did you get the money? Did you whack it up?

[Brian Bishop]

No, no, my sisters, we, we, we did have. Yeah, we did, we did whack it up, but at that point, the house was worth more because they died in the late 70s, early 80s.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

So that was.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it went from $14,000 to 89.

[Brian Bishop]

89, yeah, whatever. It was around there.

[Allison Rosen]

Weird to think is that when our. When we tell our kids or grandkids what we used to pay, will they be like, oh, my God, can you believe how little that is? I mean, is.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know that it can keep going. Well, certainly the real estate market around here has proven that it just can't keep going. But on the other hand, you know, I remember when gas got to a buck and people a gallon, and people are like, holy shit, a dollar a gallon. I mean, we're now into. We're now into three digit land. It was always 79 cents or 59 cents, and now it's a buck. And I feel like that one's just going to keep ratcheting up and we.

[Brian Bishop]

Don'T do anything about it. There's the big. What pisses me off is no one, you just pay it $5. All right, we'll pay it. Oh, you know, Europe pays $8. Yeah, sure. All right, yeah, we'll pay $10. Nobody's pissed off about the gas prices.

[Adam Carolla]

Someone's got to go tell Europe, hey, knock it off. Because every time someone goes, hey, five bucks a gallon. So Europe pays eight bucks a gallon. Everyone goes, all right, all right, you got me on that. Everyone just move backs up. The day Europe pays 2 bucks a gallon, we're going to be pissed when we get to five bucks, right?

[Brian Bishop]

Absolutely.

[Adam Carolla]

So we've just got to talk to those people. You know what? Write that down.

[Brian Bishop]

Write that down.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm going to talk to Europe about pay and this whole leader bullshit either. It's confusing the shit out of us. All right, wrap it up, baby.

[Allison Rosen]

That's the news. I'm Alison Rosen. I'm better than that, but zip it. Cunt.

[Adam Carolla]

That was the news with Allison Rosen. Yeah, man, great. 100% cast iron. 100%. 100% made in America. Robert, you'd like this. You like grilling? Oh, I do. Oh, man, steak.

[Brian Bishop]

We love the barbecue.

[Adam Carolla]

Chops and all that. This thing, I'm telling you, it is a chunk of American iron. You put it on your grill. You put the burgers, you put the steaks, put the chops, you put the chicken, you put the fish, you put it on there. It's just a big old heaping hunk of metal and it is so much better than that thin. Oh, those little things that you're using now.

[Brian Bishop]

Everything sticks to and.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes, yes, yes. Brian, please jump in here.

[Giovanni]

I've had some fine, fine flaps.

[Adam Carolla]

I've done some. Do you have a picture of it?

[Brian Bishop]

Do you have the picture?

[Adam Carolla]

We'll get you, we'll get you a shot of that because I love that.

[Brian Bishop]

I love when they do those. When the meat even made in America.

[Adam Carolla]

That's point is it's solid iron and it goes right on top of your grill. And a great gift for pops. 1999 they got a holiday special. And again will it to your kids and they will bequeath it to their great, great grandkids. It will never go after the holocaust, the nuclear holocaust. It's gonna be cockroaches and mangrate. That'll be it. And maybe a Twinkie or two. They got an exclusive bonus deal. Everyone who orders now is gonna get the super cool metal brush with it so you can clean it. And it's gonna have my logo on the handle so they'll know from whence it came, man. Great. Love these guys. Go to AdamCroll.com check these guys out. They were first on board. They just, just, just said, you know what? Hell, we got a couple grand, take it, advertise and boom, sold. What?

[Brian Bishop]

First sponsors. Really?

[Adam Carolla]

First sponsors.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, that's a nice thing.

[Adam Carolla]

Stepped up first guys to take a chance.

[Brian Bishop]

Where are they out of?

[Adam Carolla]

And they're back, man. Grittania, Plentywood, Montana.

[Brian Bishop]

Montana.

[Adam Carolla]

No, I don't know where's mangrade out of. I think they're back east Heaven. They found a, they found like a foundry that was out of work and they put them to work making.

[Brian Bishop]

So it's American made.

[Adam Carolla]

American made, not made in China. Awesome product. And something else that's not made in China. Robert Davi, everybody. The album Davi Singh Sinatra. Where are they?

[Allison Rosen]

Virginia.

[Adam Carolla]

They're Virginia. Perfect. On the road to romance. Out now available on Amazon. And you all know what I say about Amazon. If you're gonna get Davies CD and, and why not click through our website Adamcroll.com help support the show. Because every time you go to Amazon and you click through our site, we get a little beak wetting. And I don't need to tell Italian guys what it's like to wet a.

[Brian Bishop]

Beak, Wet the beak. Go to that. Go to Carolla and go to Amazon at the corolla.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right. Daviesingsinatra.com is where you go. You can Twitter Robert Obertjohn. That's with an H, by the way. David. So until next time, Adam Crow for Bald Brian, Robert Davi and Allison Rosen saying mahalo.

[Allison Rosen]

I'm gonna spank you on your butt. I'm gonna spank you on your butt. Turn over and take it like a woman.

[Giovanni]

All right, that was Adam. Cool show 699 with Robert Dahby. That doesn't Praise Goal Classics. Until next weekend, Mahalo.

[Adam Carolla]

I didn't get it all.