Alex Winter + Brian Regan (Carolla Classics)

Summary

The Adam Carolla Show — Carolla Classics: Alex Winter + Brian Regan

Date: February 21, 2026
Per PodcastOne / Carolla Digital

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Episode Overview

This classic episode of The Adam Carolla Show, hosted by Adam Carolla, revisits two fan-favorite segments featuring Alex Winter (actor, director, and frequent documentarian) and stand-up comic Brian Regan. The episode weaves through Adam's signature freeform comic rants, cultural commentary, in-depth guest discussions, and nostalgia-driven show banter. Key topics include the evolution of technology and society, the psychology of modern convenience, the future of social media and privacy, comedy in a hyper-sensitive era, and the art of stand-up. Memorable moments peppered throughout include meditations on modern laziness, blockchain explanations, Oscar host controversies, healthy eating, and some classic behind-the-scenes showbiz tales.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Modern Convenience Dilemma & Human Nature

[02:04–15:29]

• Adam Carolla reflects on how human wiring for comfort now clashes with ultra-convenience. He traces modern comfort back to primal drives:

  "Our hard wiring is, geez, it’s cold outside. Geez, I’m hungry. All right, we’re getting the boys together, we’re gonna go harpoon a wildebeest or a whale or something." — Adam [08:01]

• Society’s move from struggle to ease: From hunting for food to food delivery apps with minimal friction, Adam warns:

  "...now we are at a very dangerous place where we’re getting our wish pretty fast. And for the first time ever, we have to ignore wishes." — Adam [08:36]

• The danger of unchecked comfort:
  "This is an experiment. It's brand new. And we better all start coaching ourselves up." — Adam [12:58]

• Rise of extremities: Adam envisions society bifurcating: one group growing "slower, fatter, dumber," and another embracing dojos, woodshops, and physical challenges (e.g., Tough Mudders).

  "There’s more dojos. You're gonna find more woodworking, more do it yourself...and then more orange goo and TV screens on the other side." [14:45]

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2. Technology, Blockchain, & Societal Change

Guests: Alex Winter & Jeff Clark | [47:06–62:44]

• Blockchain 101:

  "It’s basically the underlying digital ledger that drives cryptocurrency... the record of every transaction on a digital ledger." — Alex Winter [47:32]

• Hype vs. Reality:

  "...a lot of hype, a lot of BS in this space... It’s very similar to the Internet bubble of the late 90s." — Alex Winter [48:10]

• Impact on Daily Life:
  "It will actually be driving most of the things in your life over the next 20 years, but you don’t really honestly need to know that much about it." — Alex Winter [48:10]

• Societal Disruption:

  "Everything that was analog is either digital now or going digital... and that change is very disruptive." — Jeff Clark [50:22]

• Shortened life expectancy for the first time—cause not disease but societal malaise:
  "...the third year in a row life expectancy has dropped in the United States... It's not cancer, it’s suicides and drug abuse and stuff like that." — Adam [51:02]

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3. Panama Papers & Global Corruption

[56:11–62:44]

• Overview & implications:

  "It’s a systemic network of corruption... It basically creates its own economy. Tax shelters and money laundering on that kind of scale is creating its own economy." — Alex Winter [56:47]

• Who’s involved:

  "It isn’t just the Putins or Assads of the world. It’s people you know who work in banks, lawyers that you know..." — Alex Winter [57:22]

• Hollywood’s duality:
  Adam calls out Hollywood’s progressive rhetoric versus their use of tax shelters:
  "If they're gonna do it, imagine what Putin's gonna do. And everybody in between." — Adam [59:53]
  "What I get is pay 50 percent, no breaks, and get yelled at as rich whitey. Lose-lose." — Adam [61:03]

• The 1% vs. 0.1%:

  "It’s really the 1% of the 1%. You’re dealing with levels of wealth that are almost unimaginable." — Alex Winter [61:42]

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4. Data, Surveillance, and Social Influence

[62:44–79:14]

• Transparency through leaks:

  "...these systems that used to be so well hidden that now can get exposed with the flick of a switch. That’s what happened in this story [Panama Papers]." — Alex Winter [62:44]

• The Illusion of Privacy:

  "We’re already in that Orwellian nightmare... all your information is already on the grid." — Alex Winter [65:00]

• Who are the ‘good guys’ in tech?

  "If you have your own set of moral values... you can start to find your way through this world, I think, fairly easily." — Alex Winter [66:18]

• Concerns about tech companies’ motives:
  Adam’s “Ellen theory”: "Really, do you really like dancing? Or do you really want us to think you like dancing?" [68:50]
  On why tech companies push 'good vibes': "What is it that lurks behind the good vibes?" [68:51]

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5. Social Media, Manipulation, & Election Impact

[71:00–79:14]

• The unseen power of analytics and manipulation:

  "If you have all the analytics from me for the past 10 years... you know exactly what’s going to, like, turn me on or off or vote this way..." — Jeff Clark [73:09]

• Emotional fragility and suggestibility:

  "How sort of pliable and fragile everybody is... I talk to people all the time and [they say]—I openly sob and I’m like, I don’t. I’m on Twitter, I get a few that-a-boys and a few fuck-yous..." — Adam [73:23]

• Generational adaptation:

  "My kids, especially my younger kids, are pretty good at dismantling the nonsense... They don’t even think about it." — Alex Winter [75:10]

• On whether social media is responsible for political chaos:

  "I don’t think there’s any evidence that the Russians literally influenced that election in a way that votes were changed." — Alex Winter [76:48]

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6. Standup Comedy in a Sensitive Era & Virtue Signaling

Guest: Brian Regan | [135:24–159:59 and 165:24–176:43]

• Comedy & Offense:
  Adam and panel discuss the difficulty of being a comedian in an age of social media policing and historical tweet "gotchas" (re: Oscars hosting controversy and the forced apologies trend):
  "We’re living in a time when you can go to your phone and watch as much weird German stump porn as you want... But there's a group that we decide to really clamp down on [comics]." — Adam [166:10]

• Apology Cycle:

  "Don’t apologize. When you don’t apologize, they don’t get satisfaction..." — Adam [172:11]
  "There are times when you say something you do truly regret... but an apology that's forced... they just seem kind of empty." — Brian Regan [174:14]

• Heroism & 'No Fear':
  Adam reflects on the cultural inflation of "hero" and "fearless":
  "All roads lead to narcissism. The ultimate narcissism is fearlessness." — Adam [110:23]

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7. The Nature of Standup & Creative Success

[140:58–159:59]

• Regan’s career arc and sitcom aspirations:
  "I wanted to perform in theaters... I thought you had to get a sitcom to do that. That wasn’t happening...I was able to make the jump without doing the sitcom." — Brian Regan [145:02]

• Comedy comes from many places:
  "Comedy can happen in a variety of different places... try to find something peculiar within the mundane and make it interesting." — Brian Regan [155:03]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On resisting modern convenience:

  "You have to literally sit in your home going, I could call Grubhub and they could drop that whale off pre-cooked at my door... But we must resist." — Adam Carolla [08:51]

• On the evolution from hunting to Doordash:

  "I wish there was a way just to send those guys out... And then we're like, I wish there's a way I didn’t have to strip the blubber off the whale... I wish there was a way that someone else could cook the whale and just bring it to my house." — Adam [08:02]

• On unintended gender consequences:

  "Doing traditionally female things made me feel like I looked weak... As I’ve grown up, I’ve really embraced that stuff, and it does feel empowering." — Gina Grad [26:15]

• On the “man” dilemma in tech:

  "All start off as good vibes and great ideas and change the world. And then you get a whole bunch of shareholders and the next thing you know, you just do all the stuff the guys you complained about... you do a tech version." — Adam [82:00]

• On the Flying Nun pitch:

  "In the world of high-falutin, high-flying sitcoms. The Flying Nun. In terms of concept, that was a weird pitch." — Adam [192:50]

• On apology culture:

  "If you’re Howard Stern or Snoop Dogg with pot – at a certain point, you’d be disappointed if he wasn’t smoking pot. This is my brand." — Adam [172:35]

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Important Timestamps

• Modern convenience/social evolution: 02:04–15:29
• Rise of physical/exploratory activities (jujitsu, woodworking): 14:45
• Alex Winter/Blockchain intro: 47:06
• Panama Papers & global corruption: 56:11
• Impacts of leaks & surveillance society: 62:44
• Manipulation of social media/election influence: 71:00+
• Comedy in the 21st century/culture war: 165:24++
• Brian Regan on the craft of standup & sitcoms: 140:58–159:59
• Oscars hosting and the perils of forced apology: 171:03–176:43

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Engaging/Unique Moments

• Adam’s primal-to-modern-chain food analogy—amusing and philosophically sharp [08:36].
• Alex Winter’s concise definition of blockchain and connection to societal disruption [47:32, 50:22].
• The in-depth, comic riff about the Flying Nun sitcom and aerodynamics [192:44+].
• Brian Regan relating the comic’s agony of not doing "the dog bit"—stand-up comedy nuts and bolts [153:38].
• Adam’s take on "heroism inflation" in modern culture—funny and pointed [110:23].
• Banter about the relics of slow, character-driven sitcoms vs. modern "too fast" sitcom writing [162:09–163:13].

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Conclusion

This Carolla Classics episode is a quintessential blend of Adam’s satirical wisdom, cultural critique, and unscripted insight. It offers a time capsule of societal, technological, and comedic shifts—from the perils of ease and instant gratification to the evolution of “the man” in tech, and the ever-changing boundaries of stand-up comedy. Guests Alex Winter and Brian Regan anchor the episode with their intelligence, humor, and candid reflections on their fields, making for an engaging, revealing, and genuinely funny listen.

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For more information:

• Trust Machine Film (Alex Winter)
• Brian Regan’s shows/specials
• Adam Carolla Show archives

Transcript

[Adam Carolla]

Why have we asked our contractor we found on Angie.com to be our kid's legal guardian? Because he took such good care when redoing our basement that we knew we

[Brian Bishop]

could trust him to care for our kids.

[Adam Carolla]

We only met a month ago. Angie, the one you trust to find the ones you trust. Find pros for all your home [e-mail]

[Alex Winter]

ABC Wednesday in comedian Nate Brigetzi's new game show to win, you don't need

[Adam Carolla]

to know the right answer, just what most Americans think is right.

[Alex Winter]

It's not about being the smartest.

[Adam Carolla]

You just have to be the most average. We asked 100 average Americans, do they keep an empty gas can in their car? No. Have they ever broken a bone? No. I said a lot of no. That's all right. My wife says a lot of no as well. The greatest Average American premieres Wednesday, 9.8Central

[Alex Winter]

on ABC and stream next day on Hulu.

[Brian Regan]

Welcome to Corolla Classics.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm your host, superfan Giovanni.

[Brian Regan]

This is the podcast.

[Adam Carolla]

We play the best moments, highlights and

[Brian Regan]

fan selected clips from all 16 years

[Adam Carolla]

of the Adam Crolla Show.

[Gina Grad]

We have a companion podcast titled Cruel

[Brian Regan]

Classics with the ad free archives exclusively

[Adam Carolla]

available through Podcast one.

[Gina Grad]

Make sure to sign up, check it out, listen to the entire backlog of

[Adam Carolla]

Cruella Classics ad free.

[Brian Regan]

And if you'd like the ad free

[Adam Carolla]

archives of the Adam Crolla show, the Adam and Dr. Drew show or wish

[Brian Regan]

to get access to the new podcast Beat it out, make sure to check

[Adam Carolla]

out Adam Carolla's substack adamcurolla.substack.com and if

[Brian Regan]

you'd like to request a clip, please

[Adam Carolla]

email us classics.com now on to the clips coming up. First we have adam Crolla show 2469 with the great Alex Winter, actor, director,

[Brian Regan]

producer all around super interesting dude.

[Adam Carolla]

Him and Keanu Reeves just recently wrapped

[Brian Regan]

up a run of Waiting for Godot on Broadway.

[Adam Carolla]

By all accounts, it was indeed excellent.

[Brian Regan]

Of course, the Bill and Ted trilogy,

[Adam Carolla]

all three masterpieces and all of his documentary work.

[Brian Regan]

He often comes on to promote his docs. It always makes for an interesting episode.

[Adam Carolla]

Along with guest Jeff Clark, RJ Bill not in this portion, Gina Grad and

[Gina Grad]

Brian Bishop from 2018.

[Adam Carolla]

Good day Gina Grad. Good day to you and Bob. Cool Sonny.

[Brian Bishop]

You got to get Sonny into Bill and Ted.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I've been thinking about Sonny, underrated movie and others. I'll tell you my thoughts about that in a second. First, quicken loans for this half of the show. Rocketmortgage.com ambetonline ag enter podcast 1 Tommy John go to tommyjohn.comm and mvmtmovement.com mwatch I'll tell you about that in a second. Okay? Yeah. Sonny getting them into Bill and Ted. Sunny getting them into looking for Pokemon or playing a video game or doing whatever. Everyone's got to get out of all that and into moving and doing in something. I'm really starting to think about this more and more. And I was thinking about it today. I did my. I did Ace on the house today and I did it with an author named Ace Christiana. He's been in before and he has a book called Handmade and it's a nice book. It's just a book about stuff you can make do on your own. Different people have done different projects, lights and belts and Adirondacks kits and things and all sorts of stuff. And I'm in the middle of working on a house right now and all that sort of goes into that. And I've realized it's so important and all stuff we've discussed before. But here's what I was really drilling down on today with Asa and Stromer and I made myself some actual notes, which is we are in a weird point in our nations, in our world history, which is we did not toy with any of these notions of really self governing. We were governed by the elements. You know, we were governed by hunger and food and danger, seasons and nature. We were governed by nature essentially. Like, it's starting to snow, moving on, moving south. You know what I mean? I'm hungry. Let's go get some spears and hit a buffalo and I'm cold. We'll skin the buffalo and tan the hide. You know, like we weren't governed. I mean you can always say, well, I don't know, the Pilgrims had self determination or something. They got onto the Mayflower and the Pinto and the Santa Maria, the Mangria or whatever it is.

[Gina Grad]

They wanted a strawberry in November. Better.

[Adam Carolla]

Wait. Yeah, but we didn't have everything all the time and then we grew up. As an example I like to use, but I think it's effective. Just excited about the Grinch that Stole Christmas or excited about Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, Frosty Snowman or whatever. But we didn't get to control when we watched it in the height of July. And my kids get to control when they watch it and they get to control lots of things that probably aren't good for them. Many of the things aren't good for them. So this Notion of as human beings. Now, here's the part that I sort of was really thinking about. We have an sort of internal motion machine that says, hmm, I don't want to go chase a wildebeest around with a spear for four days. Like that sounds like a fool's errand, but I'm hungry. What are we going to do? And in the past, the answer is nothing. Go get your spear and your loincloth and go chase a wildebeest around for a while.

[Gina Grad]

Wildebeest, Whole foods right now.

[Adam Carolla]

Somebody then figured out, well, if this is the way humans work, why don't we start a business where we just take our wildebeest and our cows and our pigs and everything else, and we just put them in one place and we'll feed them, we'll slaughter them, we'll

[Brian Bishop]

spear them for you.

[Adam Carolla]

We'll spear them for you. And then you just show up at the butcher counter, no pun intended.

[Gina Grad]

There was a market for that service or product.

[Adam Carolla]

Go to the supermarket and then you buy it, and then you take it home and you cook a nice meal for your family and you go, okay, that sounds like progress to me. So then the person. We spent 80 years, 100 years bringing the food home. And a relatively short period of time between the time you'd go out and shoot some elk or do whatever, skin a buffalo, do whatever, to the time there was a deli counter at a market, I mean, in really relatively short periods of time. Is there even just sort of the food court at the Gelstons? You know, you can get the pre made mashed potatoes and coleslaw and stuff. You know, when I was a kid, they had to, you know, buy yourself a chub pack of beef, 20% fat, or go buy yourself a couple of cutlets or something, go to the deli counter and maybe get a turkey leg or something. But it was not an extensive. Whatever, a buffet. Yeah, whatever.

[Gina Grad]

Healthy meal.

[Adam Carolla]

It's as much as you want. And if you want to go healthy, there's something healthy on there. There's a lot more choices that aren't healthy as we know it. And go help yourself on macaroni and cheese and mashed potatoes and corn and corn and creamed corn and cream this and cream that. Go do it. So now we are wired. Our hard wiring is, geez, it's cold outside. Geez, I'm hungry. All right, we're getting the boys together. We're gonna go harpoon a wildebeest or a whale or something. And then me going, man, that looks like Rough seas out there. But I do have to kind of balance that against me.

[Gina Grad]

I'm awfully hungry.

[Adam Carolla]

Me being hungry. So now I'm gonna go get on that boat with Ahab and we're gonna go after ourselves a while. Fine. Okay. But we're evolved to go, God, I wish there was a way. I wish there was a way just to send those guys out and. And to bring the whale home. And then there was. And then we're like. And I wish there's a way I didn't have to strip the blubber off the whale. That stinks. And they go, oh, there is. And then they go, I wish there was a way that someone could cut me, the whale into steaks and I could cook them myself. And then we went. I wish there's a way that someone else could cook the whale and just bring it to my house.

[Brian Bishop]

I'll show up when it's done.

[Adam Carolla]

So now we're at a very dangerous place where we're getting our wish pretty fast. And for the first time ever, we have to ignore wishes.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah. Push back on our wishes.

[Adam Carolla]

You have to literally sit in your home going, I could call grubhub and they could drop that whale off pre cooked at my door. Well, I'm saying if we're in Japan. But.

[Gina Grad]

But there was a place in the Santa Monica serving whale up to like three years ago.

[Adam Carolla]

Was there?

[Gina Grad]

It got shut down. Is. They're called Harpoon or Typhoon. Typhoon. At Santa Monica airport, they were serving whale under the radar. They wouldn't tell people, but like to Asian businessmen. And they got shut down. This is like four years ago at the airport. At Santa Monica airport. Wow. There's a little restaurant called Typhoon.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow. I'm, you know, I'm always mixed about that because I do feel like we do. Like, if you look at a swordfish swimming, it's pretty damn majestic. But we eat plenty of swordfish. And then you look at a chicken, and a chicken's not all that majestic. So we're kind of. Okay. We have that weird sort of relationship with what is cruel, what is good, what is bad, what is cute is not. What's a pet? Well, pet to you, not a pet in other cultures. You know what I mean? Or I had a pet pig. So I can't have a. We do a lot of it based on children's stories, animation, and pets we had when we were growing up. Yes. So getting back to this theory, Typhoon, we're now having to. We're now all conducting a very unique experiment which is we all want what we want, when we want it. And in the past, that worked its way out. Because if you wanted this thing, you would have to get up, get dressed, and go get some, and you might get killed trying. Now it's. I can stare at my phone as long as I want. And then at some point, when I get tired of watching Internet porn and I get hungry, I can just go ahead and hit this app. And the stuff is kind of insanely cheap in the sense that Panda Express is up the street from my house. Pan Express has orange goo. They just. Basically, it's like the Teen Choice Awards. You know, you just walk in there and Cameron Diaz just pulls a lever, and you just get covered in orange goo with bits of chicken and rice in it. And there's nothing better. There's nothing better than gooey orange chicken and white rice. There's nothing better. And the price is literally 475. And the price is not expensive for guys who are day laborers and make 15 bucks an hour. But for guys like me, it doesn't even count. It's not something, I think in people's travels, you'd go, oh, we wanna eat out, or I wanna do this, or I wanna do that, or I wanna do that. And then you'd stop and go, all right, how much is this? Or how much is that Pan Express? In my income bracket, the price is not even second register. It's not even negligible. It's like. Or maybe it's the definition of that, but it is a zero. I don't have to think about it. It's that little a thought. As a matter of fact, if I could eat a bucket of gooey orange chicken, I would pay him $50 if I could do it. And my body would think I had one of Gina Grad's lovely offerings.

[Gina Grad]

Every minute you spend thinking about whether or not you should buy it is costing you money.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right.

[Brian Bishop]

You can't afford not to.

[Adam Carolla]

So now we're living in a world where for the first time, the kids can take zero money, at least as it pertains to me and my income or the things I think about, things I have to pay for and the nut I have to make and so on. The percentage of that is zero. So they're gonna go over there and they're gonna walk over there, and they're not gonna be attacked by a Kodiak bear, and then they're gonna come home with a couple of buckets of go sticky rice and chicken, and then bring it back to my house and bust it open like a pinata. And my job is to smell it and keep walking into the den eating a handful of dry roasted cashews or raw cashews, unsalted.

[Gina Grad]

And the scent is making a come hither hand.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. All I'm saying is this is an experiment. It's brand new. It's brand new. And we better all start coaching ourselves up. Essentially in the middle of running a pass route where essentially the ball has been snapped. There is no chalk talk, just on the fly. We are actually moving. The ball's been snapped, the game has been started, and we are running down the field and we're in the middle of it. We have to do it on the fly. And it's going to be a very interesting experiment. And as I've hypothesized and I realized and I intentionalized and motion. Theorize and theorize. I was driving down the street, I was looking for some tile. I was driving down the street and I saw in a weird part of town, jujitsu dojo, Jiu jitsu dojo. And then I started thinking to myself, I seeing a lot of jiu Jitsu dojos popping up, like, learn jiu jitsu. You know, picture of the guy in the gi in the front throwing the other guy under the mat is this one in my neighborhood. And then I pass this other one. And as I'm driving along, I just keep noticing more Jiu Jitsu places. And then I realized, oh, yes, remember my proclamation. One segment of society is getting slower, fatter, dumber, more buried into their screens, more buried in orange chicken goo goo. More like literally covered in orange goo and staring at their phone. And the other group, sadly, smaller group, who's gonna pay for all the fucking medical care that this group is gonna, is gonna need one day? This group is spending their day at Nick Offerman's wood shop learning how to do a mortise and tenon joint. And then at night, hanging out at the dojo and rolling around with Joe Rogan. That's gonna be the new world order. There's more dojos. You're gonna find more dojos, more octagons, more woodworking, more do it yourself, more bare knuckle fighting, more tough mudders, more all of more dudes in beards, like in boots, like fighting and stuff and putting wood together. And then more orange goo and TV screens on the other side.

[Gina Grad]

It was on the tip of my tongue. But you've seen Fight Club, right? That was the central thesis of Fight Club was these men Men today grew up, you know, not knowing how to be men. And thus these guys ended up, you know, finding each other to literally just.

[Brian Bishop]

Brawl outlet.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah. In the basement of restaurants or whatever it was.

[Adam Carolla]

Not seeing the whole movie. I always feel bad I'm making a noise, but I'm. I know. I want that list.

[Brian Bishop]

That's shocking.

[Gina Grad]

Sonny's expressed interest too.

[Adam Carolla]

I know it's man boobs. I got a problem with man boobs.

[Brian Bishop]

You mean tits, bitch tits.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

Meatloaf.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. Although, speaking of meatloaf, I had a little shot of ears on the way in. Oh, you did?

[Gina Grad]

Oh, boy.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, well, there's. What? There's. There's two good things about me. A, I'm the boss. B, I don't care about germs. So those are good things. Those are two good things for us too. The bad things. If you're Emmy and you're standing out front eating meatloaf. Because I just walk by and I go, hey, give me that. And he hands me the plate and I grab his fork and I have a few hits of meatloaf and then I hand it back to him and I keep walking.

[Gina Grad]

You're a real tariff man.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Then he does the move that he does when he thinks I don't see, which he takes a fork and does it under his arm. Wipes it in her sleeve just to get my slobber off.

[Brian Bishop]

Prison eating out.

[Adam Carolla]

I know he did it. I know he did that. Underarm wipe. All right, so sorry. I was. I was thinking about that and I was thinking about. Because I saw an ad, I think, for not only a prefab Christmas tree, but pre decorated.

[Brian Bishop]

No, that's not allowed.

[Adam Carolla]

It was pre wrapped with lights and pre everything. And I'm saying, look, everybody, your wiring. Speaking of the Christmas tree, your wiring is what is the easiest path? What is. It's not your fault. It's your great grandfather's wiring was that way too. But that was about hunting whales. This is about Christmas trees. You're pre wired to think, huh? What are we gonna do here? We're gonna hunt a whale. Don't wanna do that. But I do want some whale blubber. All right. What else are we going to do? A Christmas tree? Yeah. What's that entail? Well, you got to go down to the Y or go down to the church and you got to kind of get in line and then the kid's going to strap it on to the top of the trucks there. And then you got to bring it in and you got to undo it. And you got to drag it in and you got to get it mounted up. Then you got to get. And you got to get and you got to do. And you got to do. And you got to do. And you go, that sounds like a calorie burner.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, that sounds like work.

[Adam Carolla]

Why? But wouldn't it be nice if I just came home and the tree was already set up and the lights and everything, and they go, yeah, well, go to Amazon and click over here, and then you can get your thing. That's how we're wired. We must resist. We must resist, push back. Think about our sexual wiring. And

[Brian Bishop]

already there.

[Adam Carolla]

What I'm saying is. Well, you're not wired. Yours takes batteries. But we're hard.

[Brian Regan]

Hardwired.

[Adam Carolla]

Hardwired, bro. Our. Our wiring for a billion years, and we've had to figure it out. Some done a better job than others. But as a society, you can give me all this shit about how we're so horrible and how we're sexist and how we're racist and how. Whatever. But our wiring is to show up at a party with our wife, see a hot chick who's 23 over there and go, fuck. I wanna go fuck her. And go walk over there and start talking to her. That's basically our wiring. And we've had to put it down, had to tamp it down. We've had.

[Gina Grad]

Think about the caveman with dragging the woman back by the ponytail.

[Brian Bishop]

Or as Brian calls it, the good old days.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes, struggles. There are examples of guys that had difficulty tamping down their wiring. But as a society, I think we've done pretty well with our wiring. I used to. One of the things people like to bash me about when I talk about gay and gay bashing, I have said, and thank God Dr. Drew, who's a physician, has backed me up on this. When you see gay erotica as men, as straight men, when you see gay erotica, hardcore gay erotica, you start swinging. You come like a motherfucker. All right, R.J. bell's on the line. Let's talk to him about the pics. No, when you see it. When guys see it, you avert your gaze. Pardon the pun. You literally. If you walked into a room and there was gay erotica, even just two guys kissing or two guys really going at it, you'd walk in, you'd see it, and you'd put your hand up and look the other way. That's how guys are wired. That's how straight guys are wired with gay erotica. Considering that's how we're wired. The instances of physical gay bashing or burning down the gay bathhouse or movie house or bookstore or anything is insanely low, considering that's how we're wired. So we're doing a good job. In the past, the way men were wired is if we looked at that and we were like, my God, I can't stand that, or I don't want to see that, then we'd all get some torches and whatever, and we'd go to the gay bookstore and we'd burn it down. If, in fact, they had one back. That would be our crystal jock, or whatever we're calling it. But the point is. The point is. The point is we're doing a pretty good job in the sexual department of tamping ourselves down. And we've understood it. It's discussed out loud all the time. You know, Dr. Drew's always said, like, hey, fellas, your nature needs to be pushed down. You need to stay with your wife. You're not stray, not do this, not impregnate others. It's not really good for our society. We've realized that when you go off and impregnate others and start more families and have girlfriends on the side, as a society as a whole, our society suffers, I would argue, that much as we've been focusing on this over the last hundred or two hundred years or more, in terms of our tamping down our sort of sexual nature and getting control of ourselves, we're gonna have to do this with all things now, all things that we want to do, because our nature is to say, I don't want to go cook the food, have someone bring it to the house, and it'll eventually evolve into cut it up, put it in my mouth, or put it in your mouth, chew it up and spit it into me like a bird. So let's all be aware of this, and then let's all do something about it. And the do something about it is going out to that garage for a couple hours without your phone and without your stuff and focusing in on this project or that walk or throwing yourself in the swimming pool in the morning when it's freezing, whatever. You do understand, you're gonna have to actively fight against what your nature is. Because your nature is essentially to crawl back into your mom's pussy and take a nap. That's your nature. Your nature is just never get out of bed. I mean, think about our wiring. The alarm rings in the morning and we go. That just means we're saying, I don't wanna leave this Place. Not this, not this. I'm right in mom's womb.

[Brian Bishop]

I think it was Tim Ferriss when he was on the show. He might have been quoting someone, but I never forgot it. He said something to the effect of, if we voluntarily suffer, then the involuntary suffering is much less.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

And I really stuck with me.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, think about how fast the dad to dad dad generation. I was just thinking about this. So for a million years, it was like my dad built. He did thatched roofs and he taught me how to thatch a roof and how to repair this and put stones together and make a wall. And then it gave way to change a tire, change your spark plugs or change your oil or some version of that. Because dad was always messing with the old station wagon, was always breaking down, blah, blah, blah. It's gone. It's gone. In terms of human evolution and how we just passed it on and you know, hey, look, I remember when my dad taught me how to work with bronze. And now you're gonna have to learn how to work with bronze, otherwise you're not gonna get anywhere in this society. It's utterly gone from one. Just in one generation, just boom. In 30 years, it's completely erased. There is no such thing as me and my son and spark plugs and tires and smelting and thatching and it's gone. Sewing, cooking, all the. There's a feminine side of it that's basically gone. There's a masculine side of it that's gone. How are we to deal with this as a society and as human beings? When something is gone that fast, we are wired to have things like slowly go away. Like, you know, a throw the infidel in the well, you know what I mean? Sound like a good idea? But eventually we kind of work our way through it. We work our way through things. It takes a while. I mean, you think, you just take a look. Take a look at the plight of the black man in this country. Like, why shouldn't they work for us for free and we shouldn't own them? I don't see anything wrong.

[Brian Bishop]

It's an outrage.

[Adam Carolla]

Wrong with owning a human being who works for you for free. And of course, if they don't do a good job, you can beat them with a cane.

[Brian Bishop]

That's just good sense.

[Gina Grad]

Sell them for a better slave, right?

[Adam Carolla]

And then at some point, it's like, well, it's been a couple hundred years. Oh, let them roam around. But no rights. I mean, no voting. None of. No, none of this. No, they can't have you Know that

[Brian Bishop]

as a whole person.

[Adam Carolla]

I mean, it took hundreds.

[Gina Grad]

That was the next step. Others to vote, but not a whole vote.

[Adam Carolla]

Hundreds. Hundreds of years. Hundreds of years for this. And women. Women's rights, women voting. I mean, this stuff took a long. There wasn't, hey, my dad this, and now my son that. Boom. It wasn't. Wasn't. It wasn't like the equivalent to this, which was, oh, my dad owned the plantation, and now I'm actually a slave on a black guy's plantation. It didn't happen that fast.

[Gina Grad]

Quite a turn.

[Adam Carolla]

It didn't happen that fast. We're asking. We're changing that fast, and we're basically asking everyone, figure it out. And you take a look at something like the opioid crisis or something. I don't think people are figuring it out. Oh, as fast as we. As fast as we'd like. They're just going, fuck it. Give me a handful of Vicodin.

[Brian Bishop]

It feels good.

[Adam Carolla]

Or better yet, feels like nothing.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Like, I just need. I cannot handle this this fast.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. And can I just say, from a female perspective, and I think I probably

[Adam Carolla]

speak for a lot of people allowed to talk now. Did we take that. When was that vote?

[Brian Bishop]

That was, like, yesterday or two days ago. I didn't grow up cooking or doing anything, you know, traditionally female. Never. I would. When I was on Conway, on Kayla, sex, I would say, oh, God, I burn water. I don't know. And I was proud of that. And I think it's because when I was that age, I think doing traditionally female things made me feel like I looked weak, and it appeared as a weakness. Like, I don't cook. I don't do any of that. I don't know how to, whatever. And as I've grown up, I've really embraced that stuff, and I love it, and it does feel empowering. It doesn't make me feel weak. It makes me feel awesome. But I remember thinking, that looks like a weakness if I know how to cook, or that looks like a weakness if I care, you know, for somebody else in a relationship or whatever. And I'm just past that now. And I. Embracing it has made me a stronger person. So for the ladies, that's my perspective.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. And again, unintended consequences and sort of imposing stuff onto genders and expecting them to, you know, like, I want to cook. You don't have to cook for anybody.

[Brian Bishop]

Right.

[Adam Carolla]

You go, you do your own. It's this thing of, like, you don't have to clean the house or cook or take care of the something, it's like, okay, but it's good and it works and it's fine. And I sort of feel the same way about my role as a guy. It's my job to go out and fix things and make the money and bring it home. And I feel it. I feel that that's my job. And maybe it's a quaint thought or it's an old thought, but I feel that's. I feel like my family benefits. All right, R.J. bell is on the blower. We'll talk to him in a second. First, I'll tell you about Tommy John. Yeah, Tommy John. That's what I want to talk about. Treat yourself and everyone on your list to mind blowing comfort Tommy John. I'm wearing mine right now. I'm doing this power move where I throw myself in the pool with my Tommy John freezing and then I jump out, hang them out, dry them out, and I grab them the next day.

[Gina Grad]

Power move.

[Adam Carolla]

It's a power move. Power move. I bet Trump's doing it right now. Most comfortable underwear on the planet. Keeps men neat and nestled in women. Panty line free and wedgie free as well. No wedgie. Guaranteed Comfortable stay put. Waistbands and luxurious soft fabric designed to move with you. No bunching, no rolling up, no riding up. It is simply the best. They have a limited edition holiday gift and daily deals. There's something for everyone. It's the best. It's Tommy John, right? Dawson, Give the gift of mind blowing comfort this holiday season with limited edition holiday gifts from Tommy John. Save 20% on your first [e-mail] Adam that's tommyjohn.com Adam for 20% off. We're taking submissions for most disgusted to sleep with Adam 2018. So submit those nominees on our Facebook, Instagram or Twitter post as well. Each feelings will be right after this prayer. She could not stop beating the sugar and the grains. Then our friend Betty helped her lose the weight she gained. Now she's cooking healthy meals at night and ever since then her clothes aren't as tight. It's time for eat your feelings, do

[Brian Regan]

some healthy eating

[Adam Carolla]

with Gina's rest of peace. This is why we should have little to no regard for weird fucking Al. Because this is a great song that we all love. And then we go, oh, fucking Dick Banks is a genius, but we're really just loving that song. It's such a fucking great song.

[Gina Grad]

Dick Banks is a genius and we're loving that song.

[Adam Carolla]

He is. But the Weird Al's and the sampling, this is why we should have no regard or appreciation for. Because they're just making a great song.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

All right.

[Brian Bishop]

Today is one of those just good old fashioned. It's even cold in LA comfort foods. I love meatloaf. I never make it because it's not pretty. And if I'm, you know, making it for people, I wanna make something that looks all pretty. But fuck it, who cares? Everybody loves meatloaf.

[Gina Grad]

It goes right down the middle.

[Brian Bishop]

Yes. I found a paleo recipe that omits the breadcrumbs. PaleoGrubs.com was my template, but I changed it up a little bit. And I know you hate when I say this, Adam, but this literally is like the easiest thing I've ever made. I know, but this is literally just. I used turkey. I just used two pounds of ground turkey, one egg, some almond flour, and then I subbed in a little grated parmesan, some minced garlic, and I pre sauteed some pepper and onion, mixed it together, threw it on a meatloaf pan and forgot about it for an hour. And I always was gross.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't get angry.

[Brian Bishop]

No, I had other things to do. I was making a.

[Adam Carolla]

Now I'm even more angry. Other things to do with the Christmas tree. Now hold on. I don't like. So easy. And I don't like threw it in and forgot about it. I don't like that either.

[Brian Bishop]

So I said it and I forget it. So this was easy. I've always been kind of grossed out by a ketchup top on a meatloaf. I don't know why. It just grossed me out. I thought, you know what, who cares? Because that's why I always do something Italian with like a marinara on top. I was like, no, no, let's just make this as traditional as possible. I found a paleo ketchup with half the sugar and just did a thin layer on top just for funsies. And I think it worked out well.

[Adam Carolla]

It's delicious. I'm eating it. I didn't eat all day, so I really look forward to.

[Gina Grad]

This is lovely.

[Adam Carolla]

It's lovely. I will say to add to this, it was kind of weird. I have, you know, non sugared ketchup in my house. Sugar is great for many things, but then there's certain things that are sort of don't require it. Like when we talked about making fresh whipped cream. You don't need to put sugar in it. It's delectable as is. And you put it on top of the pie and that's got plenty of sugar. And you're not doing. You just don't really. It doesn't require it.

[Brian Bishop]

Right.

[Adam Carolla]

And the ketchup that I have by Ernest T. Tubbs or whatever, he's a big black dude, which is kind of funny because I don't picture black dudes in the no ketchup and the no sugar department. They're more in the extra barbecue sauce department with lots of brown sugar and maple and everything. What's this cat's name?

[Gina Grad]

G. Hughes.

[Adam Carolla]

G. Hughes. He's a bald brother and he has the sugar free ketchup. And I have it in my kitchen. And it's great, but there's no reason to go, well, I'm gonna hold my nose and go with the sugar free or do without. It's not like the choice between a Diet Coke and a regular Coke or other things where they go, well, we made cookies, but we substituted.

[Gina Grad]

You can tell.

[Adam Carolla]

You can tell the tomato and the ketchup tomato unnecessary.

[Brian Bishop]

And I don't mean to sound like Vinny, but with a little bit of research I've done and just docs I've watched, and Vinny and the added sugar in ketchup is purely just so it's addictive. There's no other reason to put extra sugar in ketchup. So this, I just put a little on top and just wanted to make something for a cold day. And the recipe and how I kind of modified it is [e-mail] in the Eat your feelings section. And I'm glad you like it.

[Gina Grad]

It's LA cold. It's tickling the 50s.

[Brian Bishop]

It's 58.

[Adam Carolla]

I walked out, took Philly Cheesesteak for a walk last night. It was 43 where I was when I took him out.

[Gina Grad]

I was in your neighborhood. I went to the Scalza Gardens.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah. Yeah, that's the place on Foothill, the dish.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. I don't know what time you walked out of the restaurant, but it gets nippy at night.

[Gina Grad]

Dump Descanso at probably 8, probably close to 8 o'. Clock. So it was cold.

[Adam Carolla]

Descanso Gardens is. I've been to weddings there.

[Gina Grad]

Magnificent. I'd never been.

[Adam Carolla]

I filmed Son of the beach there. They can swap out Descanso Gardens for, like Maui. As long as we don't need to see the ocean. Yeah, they do a lot of, like, filming there. So I live not too far from there. And I was walking out last night, I was looking at an app, my pool app, to see how freezing the water was when I jumped in in the morning and it was 43 outside.

[Gina Grad]

Brisk.

[Adam Carolla]

I'll tell you, it's helped a lot in the massive Phil take a dump department. Moves a lot.

[Gina Grad]

He's getting in and out.

[Adam Carolla]

No. This simple strategy.

[Gina Grad]

Grab it.

[Adam Carolla]

No.

[Gina Grad]

Warms up your hand, mush it on your face.

[Adam Carolla]

I put it in my muff, snuggle

[Gina Grad]

it tight under your cap.

[Adam Carolla]

No. When Phil takes a dump at the neighbor's house or two houses down on the freezing cold nights, I used to just fall behind him and just pick it up. And the dog days of summer, it didn't matter. When I got to it, it was always bad times. Now he takes the dump. Nobody is the wiser. We go out, circle the block a few times, go by Descanso Gardens. By the time I get back, it's icy cold. Keeps it chilled, super easy to pick up, and doesn't smell.

[Gina Grad]

Well done.

[Adam Carolla]

Thank you. All right. Did we bring it home?

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, we're gonna bring it home right now. Thanks. I'm glad you guys like it. And go to AdamKohla.com for the recipe.

[Adam Carolla]

Eat your feelings. Do some healthy eating with Gina's recipes. Hit it out of the park as per usual. Gina gravity.

[Gina Grad]

I got a suggestion for your feelings.

[Brian Bishop]

Yes, please.

[Gina Grad]

Before the end of the year is limited time, obviously, but why don't we get a list of the ones you've made this year and we'll pick our top three because people always like you guys think everything's the like. Well, everything is good for the most part. But we'll pick the top the best ones.

[Brian Bishop]

I love it. Yeah, everyone. Yeah, you guys let me know and then we'll make a little special category.

[Adam Carolla]

This, what we just had was spectacular. And with a dab of the sugar free ketchup on the side for not the dip, but the sideswipe. I like to do a little sideswipe move. Would be through the roof. All right, somebody shot me a tweet. And Alex Winter and Jeff Clark are here, so we'll talk to them in a second. Alex roamed the halls of Jimmy Kimmel Live for many years. I remember back in the day as well. So I'm kind of curious what he was. I know he was directing, but I wasn't sure how many years he had over there. We got a tweet of a woman who has a malamute or husky or one of the dogs that drags lesbians in the snow. And it also has another skill. Exclusively lesbian, but also also sniffs out cancer. Is that true?

[Gina Grad]

Huskies are the best.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Is it a malamute? Is a husky or is the same one?

[Brian Bishop]

Blue eye, one green eye?

[Adam Carolla]

I love it.

[Gina Grad]

They're kind of the same.

[Adam Carolla]

What are they? What's the. What's the tweet? I favorite tweeted it.

[Gina Grad]

Well, somebody just tweeted you. Hey, I can't be the first one to send you this article. And that's a link to the article. It's a Siberian husky named Sierra. And the owner, she was sniffing around the owner's stomach and then made, like, a weird whimpering noise and went away. And she went to check on it, and they said it was an ovarian cyst, but then the dog kept doing it again, and she got a second opinion and found out it was cancer. Anyway, she's dead, so she was able to get it removed. And then years later, she finds the dog doing it again, and then she checks again. Cancer again. This happened three times. The dog was able to.

[Adam Carolla]

Three times.

[Brian Regan]

Fool.

[Gina Grad]

The dog had cancer. So, yeah. So Adam has called this before.

[Adam Carolla]

I said in 1997 on Loveline. Now, it's weird, but we're now going past 20 years that I announced that there shall be venereal sniffing dogs and cancer sniffing dogs.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah. So what Happened was in 97 September, you saw an episode of 20 20. It was titled Bite out of Crime. And a couple days later, you brought it up with Drew. And here's the first clip. And this is you initially bringing it up with Drew.

[Adam Carolla]

You know, I was watching the 2020 news program last weekend, and they're talking about how they train these. These dogs that work at the airport, and they got these dogs that sniff anything. I mean, they sniff out marijuana. They've got one that sniffs heroin. They got one that sniffs for, like, fruit and kielbasa and stuff. They can train one of these schnauzers to sniff anything out. We get them to sniff out venereal disease, you don't even have to take your pants off. Good idea. You go walking in. As a matter of fact, you're gonna need that with the big picture deal and everything. When the chicks come through the door to the palatial Hollywood state estate, you just sniff them right up. The dog puts the nose right into the groin. If the dog really starts spinning out, it's time to leave. That's all. I don't even know who the guests are. One for herpes. Well, just name the dog Crab. Funny way you never heard from them again.

[Gina Grad]

The guests are a band called the Cramps.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, the Cramps. Yeah, I remember the cramps.

[Gina Grad]

And then three days later, she checks

[Adam Carolla]

them out like once a month almost regularly. Yeah, three days later. And again, my idea from last week, of the dogs, the gynecological dogs, those

[Brian Regan]

are for infection though, aren't they?

[Adam Carolla]

Well, it could be for polyps or infection or some forms of cancer that happen down there. Yeast infections, venereal disease. Listen to Drew. Dr. Drew. Okay, all right, all right, all right. No sitardos. Yeah, yeah, sure, sure. We'll handle the medicine over here.

[Gina Grad]

There you go.

[Adam Carolla]

Play it again. Let's hear just how dismissive Dr. Drew is. Over my idea from 22 years ago about dogs sniffing out cancer and pre cancer palps and things like that. Sorry, God. And again, my idea from last week of the dogs, the gynecological dogs, those

[Brian Regan]

are for infection though, aren't they?

[Adam Carolla]

Well, it could be for polyps or infection or some forms of cancer that happen down there. Yeast infections, venereal disease, crabs, they just hop right up there on the table. All right, well, there you go.

[Gina Grad]

Some good improv. Funny man.

[Adam Carolla]

It's always great, too. It's always great when you have literally earth shattering ideas in their mouth. Where was this guy Ram? Where was Drew? When Leonardo da Vinci has a. I have an idea for something called the helicopter. Or why is he wasting his skills now? Shouldn't he be hanging around with Elon Musk? I want to tunnel through the Santa Monica mountain.

[Gina Grad]

We can get you to San Francisco in 45 minutes.

[Adam Carolla]

He's going to revolutionize travel,

[Gina Grad]

improve economy.

[Adam Carolla]

You want to take some calls?

[Gina Grad]

Why are you so dismissive?

[Adam Carolla]

All right, thank you, Drew. By the way, people, people always say to me, oh, remember that super funny one you did on Loveline? That bit you used to do on a super funny bit? And I go, no, I don't remember. They go, oh, it was so funny. We were in our car when my buddies were laughing our ass off. How come you don't remember your super funny bit? The reason I don't remember is because I was in a room alone with the person. Oh, hey, Drew, I got something funny. You know how black folk, they know how to play dominoes? And white folk, we just stack them up, knock them over together and what if. Why don't they teach us how to play dominoes? If we saw black folks just lining up chess pieces and knocking them over, we would help them, wouldn't we? Oh, let's take some calls.

[Gina Grad]

Well, thank God you learned your lesson. And disassociate ourselves with that guy don't work with them at all. Don't work with them anymore, I'd say.

[Adam Carolla]

I wouldn't say he's improved his game, but he's more tired.

[Gina Grad]

He's less bad.

[Adam Carolla]

He has less the energy to just

[Brian Regan]

go,

[Adam Carolla]

okay, so I came up with cancer sniffing dogs 20 something years ago. How old were you, Max Apata? 21 and a half years ago.

[Gina Grad]

97. I was 12.

[Adam Carolla]

12. So when you were 12, I came up with cancer sniffing dogs. Now, here's me point. I don't know that I invented this. I didn't hear it anywhere. I concocted it myself. And I think we're now in a place where we've now assumed that there are cancer sniffing dogs. That's the direction we're going. All right. But Drew, blown away, delighted. How would we color him?

[Brian Bishop]

Dismissive.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, thank you.

[Gina Grad]

Contemptuous.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay. Loveline. Was Drew in the studio going, ball producer Ann on the other side of the glass going, move the calls. Get to the next call. Stop talking so much. And then my program director, Ken Webbly going, would you roll more, Please stop talking. It was tough to carry on in the face of that kind of adversity. And then Dawson. I mean, not Dawson, Anderson. Anderson, who just hated everything that came out of my mouth.

[Gina Grad]

Pre Dawson.

[Adam Carolla]

Brie Dawson. There was Anderson. All right, we will bring in Alex Winter and Jeff Clark, and they got some docs and there's so much to talk about. Bill and Ted doing a reunion that's coming up. Right? We're talking about it, right?

[Brian Bishop]

Were we?

[Adam Carolla]

I think it was. I feel like it was in the news.

[Brian Bishop]

I'm so excited. I picked it out a long time ago, though.

[Gina Grad]

They did like a big photo shoot for it.

[Brian Bishop]

This was at the beginning of the year.

[Adam Carolla]

It was in your news.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, I got it, Dawson. I got it. Thanks.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Brian Regan]

Wait.

[Gina Grad]

All right, Pream.

[Adam Carolla]

Tell us the story again. Max Bana. I just remember seeing the. Come on, Drew.

[Brian Bishop]

I'm not really a news person.

[Adam Carolla]

That is for sure.

[Gina Grad]

It's dumb.

[Adam Carolla]

What if I came up with a dumb idea? What do we do? Hit me with a folding chair. That's what he did. With brilliant ideas. If I came up with a dumb or harebrained idea, would take a mic stand and just go upside my head with it. That was the noise you made when the good ideas came out.

[Gina Grad]

I thought you never present anything dumb.

[Adam Carolla]

Think about all the fives and sixes that didn't quite land. Jesus Christ. Mvmt. That's all right. I believe in myself. That's why I wear my mvmt watch. Founded on the belief that style shouldn't break the bank. They've sold over 1.5 million watches in over 160 countries. I got a kind of cobalt blue one. I don't know why, but the cobalt blue with the natural leather band looks awesome. And if you see me up on stage, you'll see me wearing that watch because I got to keep track of the time and I got to keep track of being stylish. They start at just 95 bucks. Their watches of the same quality are 400 plus bucks at traditional outlets. MVMT did all the hard work this holiday season. You don't have to. They've curated their favorite styles into awesome gift boxes and packages. You get 15% off today with free shipping and free [e-mail] Adam launching new styles all the time. And they have all sorts of stuff now. It's not just watches. You check out their latest MVMT.com Adam and join the movement.

[Gina Grad]

Yes, Brad, as long as we're discussing your brilliant ideas from Loveline's past. I haven't heard this one brought up since I heard it on Loveline. I don't know if I was working there before. Speaking of barbecue, speaking of breeding, cross breeding, your best idea ever, which has not yet come to fruition, you wanted to cross breed a pig and a cow and call it a pow. All ribs.

[Adam Carolla]

Pow. Nothing but ribs.

[Gina Grad]

Pow.

[Adam Carolla]

Pig and a cow. Thank you. All right, we'll bring in Alex and Jeff and we'll do that right after this.

[Alex Winter]

It's time to check Adam's voicemail.

[Adam Carolla]

Ace man bald. When I was 16, I cut a hole into tomato and masturbated with it. Either one of you ever do anything like that when you were young?

[Alex Winter]

You can leave us a message at 888-634-1744.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, but just beefsteak, never Roma tomatoes.

[Gina Grad]

Do you know?

[Brian Bishop]

Well, you need the rare.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

[Gina Grad]

I did Cherry Tomatoes.

[Adam Carolla]

Alex Winter and Jeff Clark, both in studio. Good. Good to see you guys.

[Alex Winter]

Hey there.

[Adam Carolla]

The documentary. Well, there's a couple, but the one we're talking about right now is called Trust Machine, the story of Blockchain. And I was. I have to admit, I have not seen it yet, although I love documentaries and I shall see it and it's good. I'll just talk about it again after I see it and love it. But tell us, describe what blockchain is for those of us who are real bad with computers.

[Alex Winter]

Okay. You go to Google and you type in what is blockchain? And then you spend about 400 years crawling down a rabbit hole and then you come out of it and you go, I still don't know what it is. It's basically the underlying digital ledger that drives cryptocurrency. So it's essentially the record of every transaction on a digital ledger. It's basically a verifiable ledger that's held together by very strong encryption. So it can be used for a lot of different things.

[Brian Regan]

Boring.

[Adam Carolla]

Exactly.

[Brian Bishop]

However, it's actually not. It can be quite miraculous and quite devious.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Alex Winter]

And so the reality of it is it will actually be driving most of the things in your life over the next 20 years, but you don't really honestly need to know that much about it. So there's been a lot of hype, a lot of BS in this space. A lot of people saying everything is a blockchain or could be put on a blockchain, which is nonsense. It's very similar to the Internet bubble of the late 90s.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I do remember we were just talking about the aforementioned Dr. Drew. I guess I don't say just talk about an aforementioned or that part, but he had like DrDrew.com in 1997 and 1999, and he's like, it's worth $50 million. And I kept saying, what is it? And he'd say, what do you mean, what is it? It's DrDrew.com and it's worth 50, $50 million. I'd go, how does that work? It didn't really work. It didn't really exist.

[Alex Winter]

However, today we do have Amazon.com, which is a little company that did pretty well. So the reality of it is there's a lot of wreckage, a lot of stuff goes away, but then you do end up with gigantic change.

[Adam Carolla]

We are chasing this change. I mean, I'll put this out there and you guys tell me. I started the show by just sort of talking about how fast things are moving and how we're, we're not really prepared for it from an evolutionary standpoint. We evolved super quickly in certain departments and barely moved in others. And we're kind of chasing it. And Congress and lawmakers are chasing it as well. They can't got a bunch of 63 year old guys that aren't really politically computer literate, like trying to figure out what do we do? Is it a monopoly, should it be regulated, should there be antitrust? Like what. But what are the predictions? What do you think? And does everything eventually become evil? That has the word big in front of it.

[Alex Winter]

Well, I'll say yes to that. But then I'm going to throw to Jeff who's at futurism and this is their stock in trade. So I'll let him answer that.

[Brian Regan]

Yeah, I mean they say

[Adam Carolla]

the road to hell is paved with good intentions.

[Alex Winter]

Right?

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Brian Regan]

I think with technology it's the same thing.

[Alex Winter]

It's a double edged sword.

[Brian Regan]

And you're right.

[Alex Winter]

We are at this weird point in

[Brian Regan]

humanity where everything is changing.

[Alex Winter]

Everything that was analog is either digital

[Brian Regan]

now or going digital. Whether it's cars becoming autonomous, your old

[Alex Winter]

mail being email, podcasts are no longer,

[Brian Regan]

or radio is no longer, you know, existing. We have podcasts, everything is shifting into that. And that caught that change is very disruptive.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, it's also all we can do is sort of look in the rearview mirror speaking of cars. But you know, they say like, well what about all the autonomous cars and autonomous trucks? And it's going to put truckers out of work and it's going to. But I mean we could always go back and look at a version of guys who make wooden wagon wheels are going to be out of Giggle refrigerators.

[Alex Winter]

Yeah, I mean the Iceman.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, the Iceman. Look, everything's that way. So I think fair minded people can go, well, there's always been this and yet progress has always been created. Jobs and generally been helpful in terms of our lives. But all the information all the time and everyone being buried in a screen for hours and hours and hours a day that has emotional psychological implications that didn't exist. You know, our life expectancy has dropped for the third year in a row in the United States, which is something that never existed. It's kind of a good. Now it's not cancer, it's suicides and drug abuse and stuff like that. But think about that. That all there's been is this crazy upward line of life expectancy because malaria would kill you and tetanus would kill you. Like everything, mosquitoes and everything else in his life, life, life. And for the first time probably in basically humanity without a few hiccups in there, we're actually in this country trending down just a little bit. I think it's three years in a row because we're taking our own lives. Like imagine talking to Jonas Salk about that or Walter Reed or some guy who was trying to cure malaria, cured something. He just went, oh no, we're gonna go down and what a new plague. No, no, we're killing ourselves. Would they have been able to and they'd be like, how? That wouldn't have made sense, but something with the opioids and something with the screens, right? Yeah.

[Alex Winter]

Well, life is moving very quickly. And, you know, the reality of it is, is we don't handle change that well. Change is happening at this accelerated rate. And, you know, human beings have a way of trying to put things into an either or bucket, and technology resists that because there are a lot of great things about technology that are hard for us to wrap our heads around. They're hard for the average person to understand them. The immediate reaction is to dismiss them. You know, I do actually think that in terms of, you know, the screen epidemics. I've got kids, and I'm always wrenching their heads out of various screens. But. But, you know, that is also shock of the new, because this culture is getting tools thrust in front of it that it's never had before, and we're addicted to them. But that usually diminishes as everyone gets used to this stuff and becomes boring. And as you said about blockchain, the things that seem sort of sexy or get amplified just become the fabric of our everyday lives. We don't even think about them

[Adam Carolla]

switching gears kind of quickly. Here you were roaming the halls of Jimmy Kimmel Live for quite some time when I would come in and out of there, and we were a little bit ships in the night, but they always go, alex Winter's over there, and he's directing this and he's directing that. How many years were you with Kimmel?

[Alex Winter]

I was only there a couple of years. I came back. I had a production company in the UK and I came back to the States and shifted all my business over here back in, like, the early 2000s. And so I was shooting stuff for Jimmy while I was shooting commercials. So I was shooting a lot of the fake trailers, a lot of the kind of fake ad stuff in, like, early to mid 2000s. It was super fun.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it was a great environment.

[Alex Winter]

It was a ton of crazy people there. I mean, you were coming in and out. Bobcat was working there. There are all these group in Fleischer. There were all these people kind of floating in and out of the building at that time. So it was a fun place to hang out.

[Adam Carolla]

My favorite memory of weirdos over there is my buddy Ray, worked there for, like 10 minutes. And that guy there was like inspirational story guy. And he's the guy who was in the wheelchair, and he was missing his arms pretty much from mid bicep down or elbow down. But yet he had some kind of fly or bench. You know, he could fly or wrestle. You know, he could wrestle a guy. He was one of those, like, overachiever. And you know the stories where, like, hey, he's playing nose guard for his high school football team, but he's blind. And then the coach goes, I'm telling you, this kid could make it in the NFL. And your job is to go like, okay, yeah, that's sweet. But not to get him a tractor. Right. He isn't actually going to play in the NFL.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, how great.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, somebody said to my buddy Ray, hey, that guy in the wheelchair, he's got no limbs, but he has so much upper body strength that if he tried to touch his two nubs together, no man could stop them from touching. Ray's like, oh, yeah, well, he just met the man. And the next thing you know, Ray's on top of a guy in a wheelchair. They're fighting it out to the death.

[Alex Winter]

And he's got a job.

[Adam Carolla]

He's working there.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

And it's like, it's 15ft from the stage, and this guy just got done going on stage and race on top of him on the wheelchair, fighting.

[Brian Regan]

Very nice.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. So it was a time when they had a lot of fun personalities. It was sort of like the raiders in the 70s. Yeah. Something.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Alex Winter]

Quickly forgotten, but you're glad you were there.

[Adam Carolla]

Something. Something like that. So also, the doc. The Panama Papers. Yeah, that's. I found that to be pretty interesting as well, about all the money that was being laundered or going offshores or whatever. Both.

[Alex Winter]

Yeah,

[Adam Carolla]

this. Well, so my. My thoughts on all this stuff is, of course, this has to happen. Like when I'm talking to Dylan and he's like, like Vladimir Putin is taking his money and he's putting it offshore. I'm like, of course. Yes, of course. He's not fair. Nobody's paying their fair share. And that I yelled at him that I would be surprised if Putin was not engaging this behavior. Exactly what is the broad strokes of that? And tell us some people we might be surprised to find out that were on that list.

[Alex Winter]

Well, I mean, it's really a systemic. It's a systemic network of corruption. That's really the surprise is that you're dealing with trillions and trillions of dollars. Not just the odd person you would expect that's just socking some money away. And when it's happening on that level, it basically creates its own economy. So what you realize is that tax shelters, money laundering on that kind of Scale is creating its own economy. Basically, you create an economy that takes all of the infrastructure away from not just our country or a third world country. So when you're talking about health care, education, roads, clean drinking water, all of those things that we saw, federal deficit, all of those things would be solved if this system was not in place. And the complicity of that system is every, almost every single bank in the world. It isn't just the Putins or the Assads of the world. It's, you know, people that, you know who work in banks, it's lawyers that, you know, that basically create, allowing this network to exist and making money off of everything that flows through that system. So if Putin and other bad people are flowing billions of dollars through that system, these banks are taking a chunk of that, lawyers are taking a chunk of that, and next thing you know, that is your economic system. So that's really the problem. It isn't so much just like, oh, here's an individual here, or here's an individual there. Yeah, it took governments down. Prime Minister of Iceland, Pakistan, Cameron essentially got ousted over it. In the uk you know, there are celebrities in there, most of whom don't know that they're even in there because their business manager's like, I'll save you a few bucks and stick your name into, you know, into an offshore.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, that's what, when I was funny, I was saying to Dylan, he's like, putin's in there and banana dictator number three's in there. And I was like, of course they're in there. That's what they do. I said, give me some names. Who. I'd be surprised if they were in there. And he was like, Emma Watson. And I was like, okay, Bono and Bono, Queen of England. But I'm assuming their people are doing it. Exactly. And it's kind of a. Of course, because if wherever you live in Europe or the United States or whatever, if you are a big earner and you're going to pay 50% or 40 something percent or more than 50% in, and someone goes, hey, I got a way around that. You're going to go, go ahead, don't tell me about it, but go ahead. And that's the nature of, of human beings. And so again, everyone in Los Angeles never, you know, everyone in Hollywood never stops talking about how everyone should pay their fair share. And then they jack up the taxes and then everyone goes to. I mean, I drove Bryan Cranston to the Burbank airport to fly to New Mexico, right? Season one of Breaking Bad. It was like, he doesn't, he lives in Studio City. He didn't want to go, but it's like that's where they're going.

[Alex Winter]

Exactly.

[Adam Carolla]

And that's the nature of the. If you think about it, you take the fairest, kindest, most progressive level headed, everyone pay their fair share group on the planet, which is Hollywood and Brian Cranston, and they go to the airport to go to New Mexico to film a series. So if they're gonna do it, imagine what Putin's gonna do. Right?

[Alex Winter]

And everybody in between.

[Adam Carolla]

And everybody in between. Yeah.

[Alex Winter]

And I think that the thing that people don't get is how it affects the individual. Not just the working classes, but every class. And I think that's the problem is that we've allowed the system to just expand with the kind of mentality of like, well, screw it, bad guys are going to do that. But then what you end up with over time is a massive network that's encompassing tens of trillions of dollars. It's a huge amount of money that's sloshing around the globe that's not making it back into the economy.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, I'll tell you who really suffers. Guys like myself, your garden variety millionaires. Your basic show, humble six pack, but something nice, you know, nice ipa. And then people look at me and they go, you make a bunch of money. So I know you got some sort of fancy accountant and lawyer and they're taking care of whatever. And it's like, no, no, what I get is lose, lose. What I get is pay 50%, no fucking breaks and get yelled at as rich whitey get told to get to the back of the bus. That is correct. Lose, lose. For me. I'll take the slings and arrows, the verbal slings and arrows if I can get the money off. Sure. Or I'll take the praise and pay the fair share right now. I get.

[Alex Winter]

Yeah, you're gonna get. Yeah, none of the above.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, just a rich white guy paying my taxes, trying to get along. Sucker, sucker, chump, chump. Because I think when they, I don't know what the, what the over under is, but you gotta, you gotta, you gotta make some real. Because we, we're weird because we have. Our definition of rich is like, I don't know, our 1%. I think you got to get to like $350,000 or something to get to the 1%. So then we start going, well, the 1% they're not paying, they need to take care. It's like, oh no, almost all of the 1% is paying full freight. It's that one tenth of the 1%. It's really the 1%.

[Alex Winter]

That's exactly the point. It's really the 1% of the 1%. You're dealing with a club that people think, oh, I'm going to get into this club. Like that's sort of the American dream. I'm going to get wealthy enough. You're never going to get into that club. That door is never going to open for you. You're dealing with levels of wealth that are almost unimaginable. That's really the crowd that's behind these systems.

[Adam Carolla]

So what we have to do is either shut down these offshore companies or get me into the 1% of the 1% and keep it going.

[Alex Winter]

Or you could be our mole.

[Adam Carolla]

I'll be the mole. Give me an eye patch and I'll go in. I do a French Canadian accent that's out of this fucking world.

[Alex Winter]

Tie a rope around your waist and we'll throw you onto the other side of the light.

[Gina Grad]

Hermione has left the building.

[Alex Winter]

Exactly.

[Gina Grad]

Part over.

[Adam Carolla]

So is there any who would. So then you have to go, well now, who would shut down something like this? And then you realize, well, all the most powerful people in the world are engaged in this. So who's going to shut this down?

[Alex Winter]

Yeah, but that's the beauty of that. That's again, one of the upsides of technology is we live in an era of whistleblowers and leaker. When your data, when you had these systems that used to be so well hidden that now can get exposed with the flick of a switch. And that's what happened in this story. The Mossack Fonseca leak was the biggest data leak in history and it exposed the entire network around the world in a second. That's a problem for criminals or unethical behavior of this kind. Then you've got law enforcement all over the world, governments all over the world cracking down on this. Last week, 170 police officers raided Deutsche bank in Germany because of the Panama Papers leak. This week the US started to indict and arrest people again over the Panama Papers leak. It took a couple of years for the wheels of justice to grind their way to get this far. But things are happening. Prime Minister of Pakistan's in jail now because of it. Iceland, he's gone. Brazil fell apart. Things are happening.

[Adam Carolla]

Is it sort of tantamount to like in this day and age, really because of technology, celebrities can't really have real meaningful affairs. Sure, we can bang other celebrities, wives

[Alex Winter]

just don't use your iPad. Use your iPad while you're connected to the house Mac account on the network.

[Adam Carolla]

Frank Sinatra back in the day, or Dean Martin. They just walk into a club, pick up a couple floors, take them back to the hotel. Now it'd be all over the Internet. It'd be all. I mean, you just. It'd be impossible for George Clooney to be carrying on. And I mean, in a way where it's like, hey, I'm in town, I'm playing, I'm shooting a movie for a couple of weeks. Hey, how about you, young cocktail waitress? It's undoable now, right? Because of this technology and exposure.

[Alex Winter]

I mean, almost everything's. A lot of those things are undoable. You know, a lot of people talk about the dark sides. We dealt with this on trust Machine. The dark sides of sort of the blockchain. What if you put everybody on a grid? What if you put refugees on a grid? Grid isn't that bad because even though you're helping them, doesn't it ultimately mean it could become an Orwellian nightmare? And what I always tell people is like, we're already in that Orwellian nightmare. That ship sailed a long time ago. We're already in a massive surveillance panopticon. We're in it, like all your information is already on the grid for anyone to get their hands on whenever they want. We already live in a world sort of post privacy.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, I kind of do the same. Like when people talk about, like, I don't want the government knowing, blah, blah, blah. It's like when my twins were born, they were signed a number from the government so that the government could take money from them for the rest of their lives.

[Brian Regan]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

So that's. They've been doing it for a while. I got a number, you got a number, we all got a number.

[Alex Winter]

Exactly.

[Adam Carolla]

And the government knows it, and you gotta pay them. So with that in mind, I'm not interested if they know what I'm looking at on the Internet. And I'm not interested in whether they know I have a gun. I'm not interested in any of that anymore because they already know everything. They do everything.

[Alex Winter]

And so did the hackers in Macedonia living in their mom's basement.

[Brian Bishop]

And that's the blockchain doc, by the way, is mind blowing. And for somebody who knows nothing about it now I can almost talk. Maybe I can get two questions in and maybe answer them. Is really, really amazing. But it makes you wonder, between the Panama Papers and this, you know, who are the good guys and who are the bad guys. When we talk about checks and balances, you know, the government's saying, you know, bitcoin is bullshit. And they were like, well, they have a lot invested in that that they might lose.

[Alex Winter]

Right.

[Brian Bishop]

So it's like who do you believe and who's lying and who's helping and the hacktivists and the activists. It's hard to figure out which road you should go down.

[Alex Winter]

It is, except for follow. I think that if you have your own set of moral values and you stick with those values and you keep an open mind, you can start to find your way through this world, I think fairly easily. It's actually pretty small and even, you know, there are a lot of people in the government now who are coming onto the side of the cryptocurrencies and beginning to, to figure out ways forward within that space, realizing they're not going anywhere. Blockchain, some form of a ledger is not going anywhere. It is going to be fundamental to a lot of what's coming. Regardless of whether it looks like this or not, whether it's DrDrew.com or not.

[Adam Carolla]

It's now down to $48.7 million.

[Alex Winter]

It is confusing, but I think that if you stick to your own values, you find the sides that do make sense. You do.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm going to tease a question for you. You know, I hear, you know, there's a lot of Zuckerberg and guys like that and everything's a lot of good vibes and cool signs and happy workplaces and stuff like that. Well, if you think about what everyone is pushing forward now, you know, whether it's Subaru commercials that are made, the car station wagons made with love, you know, and all the sort of good, the general good vibe, the tip of that spear is like all these tech companies, you know, it's just people bringing their pets in and playing ping pong and the middle of the day and just think about that, think about the Google sign just itself. It looks like a kid's. It'd be on the box of a kid's toy, right? Like there is nothing sharp, angular or like we get it done. Like you know, like Gillette makes razors like boom swords, you know, bow Gillette, you know, we'll cut you. Like there's signs that like, they're like boom. Yeah, you want some? Where'd you let bring it, right? Like when I was a kid it was literally like swords going sing and stuff like that. Now it's like a bunch of pastels and Lowercase things and every, like good vibes. And if you saw, if you saw. If I 20 years ago or 30 years ago and I said, I showed you Google, I just said, showed you this, I go, what is this? You'd go, they make kids toys or they make kids apparel or onesies or what are they making? Cereal? Yeah. Like something goody fruity crayons or something. So that's what they're. They're pushing that out there. Yeah. This is basically my Ellen theory of life. Like really, you really like dancing? Or do you really like. You really want us to think you like dancing? Because I don't think you do a lot of dancing off stage. But that's just me. So you put the whole good vibe thing out there.

[Alex Winter]

Right.

[Adam Carolla]

But why are you pushing the good vibe so hard? What is it that lurks behind the good vibes? And don't other companies just run themselves as companies? Why are all the good vibes getting pushed out? And is there. And maybe there's nothing. But what's going on? What's lurking in the shadows with some of these big tech companies? And what might we look out for first? It's a good segue. Lifelock. You need to protect your identity. They're out there, man. Better Business Bureau warns you to watch out for holiday scammers, bogus emails with links to look alike websites and social media gift exchanges. Plus grandparents scams they're scamming. They target seniors and they pose as family members who need money urgently. Let's not get caught up in this. Let's not. It's the holiday. So you're exposed. So you're out there. So your information's out there. You need protection. That's Life Lock. Good. Good thing they have that identity theft protection. It's the power of Norton Security protects all your devices against cyber threats. If you have a problem, their agents will work to fix it. But I bet they won't and you won't because they are Lifelock. Right, Dawson? Of course, no one can prevent all identity theft or cyber crime or monitor transactions at all businesses. But Lifelock with Norton Security is the

[Alex Winter]

right choice to help look out for threats you might miss on your own.

[Adam Carolla]

Go to lifelock.com or call 1-800-lifelock and use promo code at for an additional 15% off your first year. That's promo code, Adam. For an additional 15% [e-mail] so, Jeff, you were sort of queued up to speak on this.

[Brian Regan]

Yeah.

[Alex Winter]

I mean, that's a great segue for Facebook. There.

[Adam Carolla]

Or Facebook. Yeah.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah.

[Brian Regan]

I mean, I think with a lot

[Alex Winter]

of these Silicon Valley companies, they don't

[Brian Regan]

necessarily think about the ultimate outcome of what they're creating.

[Alex Winter]

And we at Futurism talk a lot

[Brian Regan]

about how do we create a positive future. And I think initially they go into

[Alex Winter]

that thinking, you know, the same thing, but as they get deeper and deeper into it, they don't realize, much like

[Brian Regan]

with Facebook, that you could throw an election or an entire community now is

[Alex Winter]

going to be

[Brian Regan]

thrown out because of

[Alex Winter]

a group that now has gained all

[Brian Regan]

this popularity on Facebook.

[Alex Winter]

You know, I don't think they thought

[Brian Regan]

about the fringes of what could happen. They were just trying to get more

[Alex Winter]

money, more users, more advertisers, grow as

[Brian Regan]

fast as they can. I mean, Mark Zuckerberg said it himself, his theory was move fast and break

[Alex Winter]

stuff, and he didn't care what broke

[Brian Regan]

as long as they were moving fast. And clearly that's has come back to haunt them now. And I think in the coming year, I think we will see an even larger backlash, especially in the UK with Facebook and Cambridge Analytica and all of

[Alex Winter]

these data mining companies that influence us every day, and not just on elections, but the products we buy, what we're thinking, you know, all of that.

[Brian Regan]

It is so heavily influenced and we. We don't even realize it at all.

[Gina Grad]

I don't want to put words in your mouth, Adam, but you were of the opinion at one point that whatever would happen with Facebook, Cambridge Analytica, didn't affect any votes or something to that. Again, I don't want to speak for you, but what was it?

[Adam Carolla]

I was saying there's much talk about Russians hacking the election and hacking into, like, sort of doing pro Trump and pro or negative Trump or pro Hillary or whatever. It was like it was a direct correlation. And it turns out that the lion's share of it was just for general chaos and disorder, that there was a percentage of it that was like, vote for Trump or don't vote for Hillary or vice versa, but.

[Gina Grad]

Or just pushing some other, you know, message.

[Adam Carolla]

The larger one was for just discourse and chaos. Hate each other, like a lot of hate groups, and this group's on the thing. But you tell me, is that what you found or what you understand to be true?

[Brian Regan]

I think that's part of it, but

[Alex Winter]

I think people are underestimating the power of Cambridge and how deep the analytics

[Brian Regan]

actually went, and also how easily influenced we are as humans. You know what I mean?

[Alex Winter]

We all statistically stick to one or two issues, and that's what we vote on, we all have one thing that really gets us.

[Brian Regan]

And if you have all the analytics from me for the past 10 years

[Alex Winter]

of my life, you can very easily look through that and you know exactly

[Brian Regan]

what's going to, like, turn me on or off or vote this way, or do that or not buy that or buy this. That's. That's the power of these algorithms that no one truly understands.

[Adam Carolla]

The scary part, to me, and we're going to have to all change pretty quick, but how sort of pliable and fragile everybody is, like, there's something wrong with me and I don't have like, proper nerve endings or something. But like, I talk to people all the time and like, oh, I'm gonna get off Twitter. I'm like, why? Because I'm bummed out all day. Like, I sob. I sob. I sob openly in front of my children.

[Gina Grad]

I'm like fighting with trolls all day.

[Adam Carolla]

You're 51. What are you doing? I openly sob and I'm like, I don't. I'm on Twitter. I get a few that A boys and a few fuck yous. And I sometimes explain the fuck you and sometimes I say, thanks for the data, boys. And then I shut my phone off, I go to bed like, what? What are you. Oh, it's hell out there. It's hell. I'm like, it is. It doesn't seem like, I don't know, like I don't know that we're going to be able to change the way we communicate. We can change how we receive at least some of it. Now, I get the part where we're being manipulated by the sort of invisible hand, right? And I get that sort of part where if I saw one and a half sushi commercials during the day, I'd be like, what, tonight we do sushi? Well, what do you mean? Because it's. Because it's high time. Only because I run this household, all I have to see is like one and a half. You mentioned. Actually now I'm eating sushi night cuz I said the word sushi three and a half times.

[Brian Bishop]

Highly suggestible.

[Adam Carolla]

But the part where we're gonna all get into fist fights because of Twitter and Facebook and everything else, or the part where you show me pictures of your Hawaiian vacation and I get insanely jealous and now hate you. We're gonna have to do a little better job in our own wiring, right?

[Alex Winter]

I think that's a really big part of it. I think that it was sort of what I was saying before about the shock of the New. I think that we are, you know, we're used to sort of being siloed in little villages, you know, and with all of the political ramifications of what we care about and our friends care about. Now the technology has penetrated all of those villages and kind of flattened everything. And some people can handle that really well. Some people get completely overloaded by that. The emotionality of that information. Not just the information, but the emotionality of it. And I think that there is going to be a reduction in that just by nature. And that as new generations come up and they're more used to sort of processing the information that comes that way, I do believe they'll be less susceptible to being propagandized by that information because they're like, oh, my God, you know, you're in my face with your political views, and I don't know what to do. My kids, especially my younger kids, are pretty good at dismantling the nonsense. And not even. They don't even think about it. Like, I remember back there was a term like multi platform was a term like 10 years ago, this idea that. That, oh, how are kids going to be able to discern between a movie and the screen and the tv? And it's like. And I watch my kids and they don't think that way. They don't think multi platform. They just watch stuff. They don't care whether it's on TV or the movies. They're not thinking the way old people like us think at all. So I think that there's a generation right now that was very susceptible to Russian disinfo campaigns to America. I think. I'm with you. I don't think there's any evidence that the Russians literally influenced that election in a way that votes were changed. I think that I would argue that American disinfo campaigns were at least as effective as Russian, if not more so. And there were many of them, and they'd been going on before there was an Internet. So there's all kinds of crap that's coming at you during an election and now. But we're now dealing with, trying to wrap our heads around, oh, the Russians are coming at us through Facebook. I think the idea of that, that just scares the crap out of a lot of people.

[Adam Carolla]

You answer that question with the skill and precision of a seasoned sushi shot. I will say that as a reference, but it was amazing the way you diced up that tuna.

[Brian Bishop]

That answer was eel roll.

[Adam Carolla]

Good. Yeah, that's right. Dynamite, Jeff. Now I'm definitely having Sushi. Me too. 1000%. So Jeff, where. Oh God, I have so many questions. Apartment is this a true statement? In the past, big industries like automotive, like you take Ford or GM or something like that or whatever, Big, big something in the past. For them to meet their demise, it might take 50 years, it would just take a long, slow, whatever. But they're still so big and they're so mechanical and analog that it's like it couldn't be over in a week or a year, relatively short period of time. I think if you look at the automotive sector you go, well, Ford was 80% of the market. Then they dropped down. But now they're kind of having a renaissance. But there was tough in the 70s or whatever. Or if you're Facebook or Google or whomever, the sort of invisible company is in the sense that you work in the ether, you don't have steel plants and you have vast amounts of real estate in Michigan and stuff like that. Can you go fast? I mean can we go like a celebrity that was, oh, that guy was big and then he punched his girlfriend, he got the DUI and then he made a couple of bad cop buddy movies and he's got like a joke now. Can Facebook just go away in a year? Can we get onto something super cool? Can they get embroiled in some horrible me too thing or something? Can it happen that fast with tech or is this an insane idea? Yes.

[Gina Grad]

Before Facebook, I mean you have Friendster, you had MySpace and then Facebook's the one that figured it out. It was more than just connecting with your friends.

[Brian Regan]

Yeah, I mean I think MySpace is

[Alex Winter]

maybe not a great example in Friendster as well. Facebook is an actual company with many shoot off companies.

[Brian Regan]

MySpace was Tom.

[Adam Carolla]

So they're like too diversified.

[Brian Regan]

It's too diversified. And I think like Alex can even

[Alex Winter]

speak to this because he knows the

[Brian Regan]

guys that came in early on it from his previous films.

[Alex Winter]

But they made it a very legitimate thing with heavy, heavy investment from the

[Brian Regan]

beginning, which is unlike a lot of the other companies.

[Alex Winter]

And I think they've gotten to, they've

[Brian Regan]

hit collateral mass too much.

[Alex Winter]

So Google is in my opinion never

[Brian Regan]

going to go away.

[Alex Winter]

Way like it's gone too much. They, they own us more than we own them at this point. I think Facebook is similar, but I think with the backlash that we've seen lately and how they've handled it and just how everyone feels used by Facebook

[Brian Regan]

I think has cut into some of their business. But I still use Facebook every day.

[Alex Winter]

Futures and publishes on Facebook every day

[Brian Regan]

as does every other Major publisher, because you have to.

[Alex Winter]

You're forced into it. And you need.

[Brian Regan]

In the media landscape today, you need

[Alex Winter]

revenue from every possible source you can find.

[Brian Regan]

And every publisher will tell you that, from CNN down to futurism.

[Adam Carolla]

Do these companies, you know, I've always sort of said when I argue, when sort of talk about the government, the government wants this and they want you to do that. And they want more money or they want more taxes or whatever. I've always want less. Like who's smarter and who's greedier than guys who run huge businesses. Like good luck fooling them into giving you more money. They move and they move to New York and they get New York to give them a whole shitload of breaks and a whole bunch of insurance China or whatever. They're really good at making money and they're really good at getting out of reasons to pay their fair share. Then there's some like, weird kind of nefarious shit with. I guess it was Amazon going to New York. They were like, we also want to be alerted if anyone's looking into our business. And New York was like, all right, we're with you on that. Like, it seemed kind of a weird relationship that the state would go, yeah, if anyone sniffing around, we'll tell you,

[Brian Regan]

Amazon is notorious for testing your product and then stealing it from you and manufacturing it themselves. So of course they want to know if anyone's looking into it.

[Adam Carolla]

So absolutely. The it's. It's so it's so it's look.

[Brian Regan]

That's why they have a 47% mark.

[Adam Carolla]

I always want, on the Internet, I want to write a book or make a documentary called what happens when you become the man. Right, because the man. Because you always become the man.

[Alex Winter]

Exactly.

[Adam Carolla]

You have to come to man.

[Alex Winter]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

All start off as good vibes and great ideas and change the world. And then you get a whole bunch of shareholders and the next thing you know, you just do all the stuff. And all the guys you complained about Carnegie and all the guys that came before you, you just do a tech version. You do the exact same thing they

[Alex Winter]

would have done completely. Yeah. I mean, the tech revolution of the 90s and the 2000s, a perfect example of that. You know, we saw this desire to create a democratized culture for artists and the consumer and all this. And we ended up with just to look at the music industry, a much less equitable industry than the previous one, which was already screwing artists over really badly. And now the new boss is arguably significantly worse than the old boss.

[Brian Bishop]

Getting a percentage Of a penny for each play of a song.

[Alex Winter]

And who's making the money is actually, you know, the people bang in the middle of that exchange. And not anyone. No one's benefiting on either side of that exchange.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, now it's kind of interesting. Whether it's offshore accounts or tech, whatever or Bitcoin or whatever, everything is kind of invisible now, so. And again, you can. I'm a lay person with all this stuff, so I just have thoughts. But, I mean, when somebody said, like, I want to buy this Indian reservation, I want to run a train through it, you know, like, people go. People would see it. Like, they still would do it, but they'd go, we don't want so much of that. We're seeing you dumping your raw sewage into the river because you're making ore over here. Now the fish are floating to the top. Like, I can smell something, sulfur coming from the river. Like people by the river dying, you know, like there's something with the tech world. I feel like everything's just going on, and everyone's going. I don't know. I don't know what they're doing.

[Gina Grad]

Tie it back to the Panama to tie it back to the Panama Papers. Just think about us in our daily lives. How much money, like physical, physical money do we see and handle in our life? Like, between income, direct deposit and money we spend. Rent, mortgage, you know, restaurant bills. Well, how much actual money coming in and out of our lives are we actually handling?

[Brian Regan]

And see?

[Gina Grad]

Very, very, very small.

[Brian Bishop]

Unless it's Jimmy Kimmel's money. None.

[Gina Grad]

Less than, less money.

[Adam Carolla]

That was an insult that my daughter knowingly. I mean, she didn't know that she was insulting me, but she had me. She hammered a gift certificate that Jimmy got her for her birthday or for Christmas for 100 bucks. Although it'd been tapped out.

[Brian Bishop]

She's very good.

[Adam Carolla]

I'd been tapped out. But I paid her 100 cash, right?

[Gina Grad]

Oh, really?

[Adam Carolla]

100 cash for Jimmy Kimmel gift certificate and for Amazon. And it was zero, right? And then.

[Alex Winter]

It's brutal.

[Adam Carolla]

It's brutal. And then when I pulled the cash out to cash it out was a whole bunch of merch money I'd made, like, on the road selling books and T shirts. And I thought, well, that's a good lesson and story to tell. And I said to my daughter, guess where I got all this cash? And she went, jimmy. I said, no.

[Brian Bishop]

Isn't that how people get cash?

[Adam Carolla]

Just they wait around for Jimmy to bring over cash? Right. She just assumes. Anyway, it's sad but she. All right, so it's invisible now. And I've always said when you were trading pelts, you were pretty careful about who you gave those pelts to or how many pelts they took or whatever. Now it's invisible. I've probably been buying the Major League Baseball package for the last nine years and have no idea I'm even doing it. It's just coming out of the account. Know what I mean? And somebody's not telling me. I probably. I probably have nine gym memberships I'm paying for every month that I have no idea. And it doesn't.

[Gina Grad]

I'm part owner of the Dodgers.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, that's awesome. It doesn't sting because I don't see it. I don't feel it. I don't handle it. And. And I know these guys know this, right? I mean, they have to know that our relationship growing up, you know, with lemonade stands and, here's a quarter, son, and keep the change and all that kind of stuff. Now the Jerry's Kids hopper at the 7 11, you put a few pennies in his. Oh, it's almost full of change. That's my mentality. Now. I'm dealing with invisible money. I'm not up to that yet. Maybe the kids will or maybe they won't.

[Alex Winter]

Well, it's one of the reasons that we so desperately need checks and balances. It's one of the things about. About the Panama paper story that was significant was that, you know, you had. It was the largest coordinated act of journalism in history. It was 400 journalists working totally encrypted for a year, great risk to their lives. One of them did get killed on that story. And, you know, exposing that world, that world of ether that you're talking about, whether it's data or actual money, you know, value of whatever kind, it needs to be, it needs to be seen. There needs to be transparency, and that needs to be communicated to the average person. And that's mostly coming from journalists. You know, certain wings of law enforcement are doing that. Certain governments will get involved in doing that. That can swing either way, depending on their motives and whoever's running that particular government at that year. But that's the reason that it's so important that we have, like, thriving news organizations and journalists that were able to actually, you know, get past this horrible era of fake news and actually report what's going on. There's no other way of knowing what's going on.

[Adam Carolla]

Do you assume, like, when they talk about, like, well, ice didn't exist until 18 years ago or 911 or whenever it was. Like these things didn't exist, or the Marines didn't exist, or the Air Force didn't exist before we had the army, CIA or whatever, like these things didn't exist. Do we need some sort of cyber patrol unit?

[Alex Winter]

Isn't that what Giuliani's doing, though?

[Adam Carolla]

Jesus Christ. By the way, we have.

[Alex Winter]

They. They didn't re up it.

[Brian Regan]

They fired them or whatever.

[Alex Winter]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

I feel like we're going to need more cyber cops than real cops. I mean, like, even at the border, because they're going to be flying drones and. And doing, you know, compute. They're going to be robots that shoot pepper spray out of their penis.

[Alex Winter]

I've got that already, actually.

[Adam Carolla]

You got the strap on or.

[Alex Winter]

Like, that's what I got with my Jimmy. Amazon gift certificate.

[Adam Carolla]

You know, it's so funny. I'm such a horrible parent, where they're like, how are you going to punish your daughter? I'm like, oh, there's so much more to punish her for.

[Alex Winter]

Like that.

[Adam Carolla]

That's nothing. That's. Oh, what are you gonna do about Charles Manson stealing the bag of Funyun? That's not even. We'll get to it. We may not get it. We not even get to it. I'm doing such a horrible job of parenting that I'm even counting this. That doesn't fall on the punishment side of the ledger, Bugliosi.

[Gina Grad]

You got a whole list.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. A whole docket. Yes. All right, let me tell you about Castrol Edge. Heat, friction, viscosity breakdown. Rob your engine of maximum performance. Friction results in loss performance of up to 10%. Castrol Edge. Engineered with fluid titanium technology, it physically transforms to become stronger under pressure. Helps fight friction, deliver maximum levels of performance. Three times. Three times, fool. Stronger against viscosity breakdown than leading oils. Castrol Edge, unlock the true performance in your car's engine. Yeah, Gina, forget about the news today. Oh, no.

[Brian Bishop]

We need to talk about what's happening right now.

[Adam Carolla]

These are too interesting. Where shall we be in a few years? I mean, what do you know? I'm sort of. I'm always sort of thinking about this sort of movement where I keep saying, a few years from now, we're gonna have safe spaces and octagons. Like, there is a group that is going, fuck it. I'm zigging if you're gonna zag. If you guys are all gonna be watching you porn nine hours a day, I'm gonna go fight a dude in a dojo and then do a tough Mudder? Well, both.

[Alex Winter]

Can't you do something?

[Adam Carolla]

I can combine my two loves a niche porn called the Dojo Pornoshi. Yeah. And then I'll hang out with Nick Offerman and make a kayak for 40 grand.

[Alex Winter]

Like, why not?

[Adam Carolla]

I feel like there's a group that is going and they're breaking off and going. I'm like, oh, that M. Night Shyamalan movie, the Village. Like there's gonna be villages. Right.

[Brian Bishop]

Colonial.

[Brian Regan]

I think we've got them already. Yeah.

[Alex Winter]

I mean there's a lot.

[Adam Carolla]

Do we?

[Brian Regan]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Gina Grad]

That's a documentary actually.

[Alex Winter]

Yeah. There's a lot of kind of pushback to where things are going that's taking. That are forming all these different kinds of communities all over the world. Some are like hyper techno oriented communities. You have crypto communities, you have people who are anti technology, you have pro government anarchist groups. I mean, I do think that one of the end results of massive change like this that's happening so swiftly and the fear that comes with it, you know, what's going to happen with AI, what's going to happen with robotics? It does, you know, humans always act the same way. They always. They go a little bit potty.

[Gina Grad]

Right.

[Alex Winter]

And so we're going to see more people going a little bit potty. For sure.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. And I. Maybe this always existed and you know, maybe when the automobile was invented there was a whole group that went, fuck it, I'm riding my horse.

[Alex Winter]

You know, and the Luddites.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Alex Winter]

There's always been groups that have. That have rebelled.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Alex Winter]

And in the future we're gonna have analogs and digitals.

[Brian Regan]

I think a lot of what we're like trying to figure out now is what is our real world self, our

[Alex Winter]

physical self, and what is our digital

[Brian Regan]

self and how do those work together?

[Alex Winter]

Are they the same?

[Brian Regan]

Are they different?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

Are we the same as our avatar?

[Brian Regan]

Absolutely.

[Alex Winter]

I mean, think about it.

[Brian Regan]

When you get in those fights online

[Alex Winter]

or something, it affects your real self, even though it's just digital.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Brian Regan]

You know, so it.

[Alex Winter]

Are they the same? Are they not the same? We have to figure that out. We have to be adults about it.

[Brian Regan]

And we're not. We're just fighting against every little bit that we can and something goes crazy

[Alex Winter]

and half of them go that way

[Brian Regan]

and half of them go that way, you know?

[Alex Winter]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

It probably doesn't help that everyone is getting really thin skinned. Because the thing about being thin skinned and announcing you felt threatened or you felt marginalized or you felt attacked or you felt whatever in the past. If you were super thin skinned and you always felt attacked and you just didn't leave the fucking house and you'd be fine. But now we're bringing the criticism to your desk. So you are thin skinned. You no longer need to deal with bullies outside on the schoolyard. You can stay home and be bullied alone.

[Gina Grad]

Alert on your phone.

[Adam Carolla]

The notion that you can just sit in your ergonomically correct chair and be bullied alone.

[Alex Winter]

Yeah, the walls have come down.

[Adam Carolla]

Is scary for the thin skinned out there. And I would.

[Brian Regan]

And for the radicalized people who are easily radicalized. Opposite spectrum.

[Adam Carolla]

Sure. I would argue that everybody is going to have to thicken up their skin and focus on their compass facing true north and not let it be little magnets, little refrigerator magnets, pull it all in different directions all the time so easily that you had a little more purpose, more complexity. Yes.

[Brian Bishop]

But on the. And on the other side, on the other side of that, we absolutely need to be. Have more perspective and be. Have thicker skin. But you think of the people on the other side like we just did that Pete Davidson story where it's like you're at home, you know, eating Cheetos, watching tv. I'm just gonna fire off a quick tweet that this dude should kill himself, you know, so we're getting jaded and brazen on one end and thinner skinned on the other end. So that's not a good combination.

[Adam Carolla]

As we talked about, he gets beat off. Off to banging Ariana Grande. And I sadly last night whacked off to Pete Davidson. Ariana Grande. So that's weird.

[Gina Grad]

I walked off to Pete Davidson whacking us Ariana Grande.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, no. I went, I cut out the middleman.

[Gina Grad]

What time was yours?

[Adam Carolla]

Street lights were definitely on. But my kids were awake, that's for sure. They're clawing at the door. Almost broke my stride.

[Alex Winter]

Can't unsee or unhear that.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it's. It's a, it's a world. And I know everyone just says like, unplug, but man, you got to. Because we are, we are all part of one vast experiment and we're all volunteering for it. Yeah. You know, that's the scary part. In the past, you could sign up for something or not sign up for something, and there was a payday or whatever this is. We've all signed up for it and we don't know we've signed up for it, but we're in.

[Alex Winter]

We're in it. I mean, I think that is really the bottom line is we're in it and there is no way to shut it out. There's no way to get off the grid. There's no way to turn yourself away from kind of the information age and the world that we're heading into. We are all in it, and so we have to adjust to it.

[Adam Carolla]

We are going to essentially have to build the physical or the mental equivalent to a treadmill that we use in our home, which is in the past. We just went out and gathered and hunted and ran and moved and did whatever. And there's no necessity for a physical treadmill or an elliptical or anything. And then at a certain point we realized, oh, we have cars, we have jobs with air conditioning, sedentary life. So look, smart people, we're gonna have this place and you're gonna go here and you run on this treadmill, this sidewalk that goes nowhere, you're gonna go run on it for 40 minutes or we'll buy one, put it at your house. Like the richer people would just buy one and put it at their house and I'll go run on my thing. And I don't think anyone walked up to anyone running on a treadmill and went, what the fuck are you doing? You're not going anywhere. They went, I'm burning calories, I'm not atrop one is ever confused or whatever. There's gonna have to be a sort of psychological, emotional version of that, which is, hey, here's what healthy people do. They unplug their shit, they go outside, they take a hike, they throw the ball to their dog on the beach without their phone with them. Like whatever that emotional treadmill, psychological treadmill is that we don't think we need, we need it. We gotta start getting on it for 25 minutes a day.

[Alex Winter]

Yeah, couldn't agree more. I mean, I think that's something I instill in my kids, but it's really important. And you can develop a sense of what is real and what is BS news. You can develop a sense of when disinfo is coming at you. And sometimes it comes at you from really stupid places. Sometimes it is like run propaganda.

[Adam Carolla]

Sometimes you can just physically not be able to receive info because you're in your freezing cold swimming pool screaming in agony, like I did this morning, for example. Meanwhile, well, my daughter's just sold this same Jimmy Kimmel gift certificate to Amazon for a fourth time to a special needs kid at her school.

[Brian Bishop]

She's gonna run this country.

[Adam Carolla]

She actually put on a surcharge saying, this is actual Jimmy Kimmel gift premium certificate of Authenticity. All right, let me tell you guys. Oh, let's. Do we bring. How do we even bring it home? I will tell people. The documentary Trust Machine, the story of Blockchain. It's directed and written by Alex and Jeff's the producer and it's coming in 2019. Trust Machine Film.com is where we go. TrustMachine Film.com the documentary the Panama Papers that is available now on Google Play epics and in select theaters. So you can find that as well. And what else are we missing? Anything else?

[Alex Winter]

The end of the world. Do we talk about that?

[Adam Carolla]

That's tomorrow. All right, I'll tell you guys to check out Simplisafe for your home security. Simply safe. Two eyes in there. It's exactly what home security should be. Great protection, ridiculously easy to use. No hidden fees or price of contracts. Get [e-mail] Adam live shows coming up. You can go to AdamKroll.com and find out where I'm going to be playing some live shows and check out Chassis, our little company. We make some docs and they're up there. Two S's and a Y we make. And other docs curate other docs that other folks make. So check that out. Say hi to Lynette over there at Corolla Drinks. Doing a great job on Mangria this Friday, December 7th. Saturday, South Bay customs, El Segundo. Lots of music, lots of Mangria. Silent auction, endless rant. It's all gonna be there. Dawson, you're leaning into a mic. Yeah, we. My job for a day.

[Alex Winter]

The bidding is up to seventeen hundred dollars. Somebody is gonna pay for charity to

[Adam Carolla]

do what I do here every day.

[Alex Winter]

That's pretty fun.

[Adam Carolla]

Follow me on Twitter at dosangelas or

[Alex Winter]

Corolla Drinks and you'll get all the information.

[Adam Carolla]

But yeah, Friday night Live, Boxy's playing. I'm playing Roses and cigarettes is playing Sanguine and shiny. And we have Mangria slushies, which are

[Alex Winter]

the greatest thing that ever happened.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. And Mangria slushies lead to Mangria sloppies, which is what happens to people when they drink the Mangria slushies. Also, you can get some cool [e-mail] I'm wearing the hat right now, so until next time, Adam Carolla for Alex Winter. Jeff Crawford Clark, Gina Grad and Ball Bryan saying, mahalo. Crawl back into your mom's pussy and take a nap. All right, this is Adam Crillow Show 2469 with the great Alex Winter. Adam chats about documentaries with Alex and he races cars with Keanu.

[Gina Grad]

Coming up next, we have Adam Carla Show 2473. Brian Regan, R.J. bell.

[Adam Carolla]

Not in this Fortune.

[Brian Regan]

Gina Grad.

[Adam Carolla]

And Brad, Brian Bishop from 2018. Good day, Gina Grad.

[Brian Bishop]

Good day to you.

[Adam Carolla]

Handballed Brian.

[Brian Bishop]

No. Homo. Oh, man.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, yeah, the H word.

[Gina Grad]

Got a lot of words.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, Brian and I have lamented that there should be only one LT who's getting enshrined into Canton, Ohio, and that is Lawrence Taylor. Sorry. And then there's Ladanian Tomlinson.

[Brian Bishop]

Why do I know that name?

[Gina Grad]

He's a great. He's an all time great. But he's not the first lt.

[Adam Carolla]

He's not the first lt. They'll both end up in. Lt's probably in both. LT's.

[Gina Grad]

They're both LT. LT and Fake Bobo. LT are both in. Yes, they're both in hall of Fame.

[Adam Carolla]

That is, he's an all time great.

[Gina Grad]

But let's, you know, let's temper our expectations.

[Adam Carolla]

Nickname's a nickname, and whoever got there first is grandfathered in with the nickname into the hall of Fame now. So the reason we do this is because there's confusion because they both played professional football. They didn't play in the league at the same time, but they didn't miss by too many years. And when people start talking about an LT type move or something like that, we're not totally sure who we're talking about. Thus we have names and titles. That one I've always known is a byproduct of the person's first name being Ladanian. If his first name was Larry, there wouldn't be a problem with it. People who are announcing football games don't want to yell because they think they're going to screw it up. And like they do with these guys from Serbia or something, they just give them nicknames because no one wants to say Vanoslanczyk, you know, like over and over again.

[Gina Grad]

Andre Karolenko is ak.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. Right. You have to do it.

[Gina Grad]

Same with Roethlisberger. Ben drops back, right.

[Adam Carolla]

Big Ben. Big Ben. Big Ben. They say Big Ben because I don't think Roethlisberger. But if there's another Big Ben in the league and there isn't basketball, there's another Big Ben in the league, then you have to pick another moniker. That's how it works. Anyway, we're now that way. With F words.

[Gina Grad]

Yep, indeed. Which F word you talk about.

[Brian Bishop]

There's at least two.

[Adam Carolla]

There you go. And I also realize the old School. My old school brain. I've had an entire lifetime of F word meaning fuck and not fact. So an entire life of fuck. And thus, you can't undo my brain when you go. She said the F word because I've had an entire lifetime of it meaning something else. This is all part. They just fired a teacher like some middle school because somebody had decided to change the pronoun and started dressing like. Wearing dungarees and tuffskins instead of sundresses, poodle skirts. And the teacher said, okay, I'll call them by their new name. And then at some point, the person put some virtual reality goggles on and was, like, walking down the hall in her virtual reality world and was going to hit the wall, and the teacher yelled, stop her.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, that's an offense at this point.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, wrong.

[Gina Grad]

Stupid, stupid question.

[Adam Carolla]

The person had formerly been in this teacher's class for two years as a hero and now needed to be called him. And because the person was gonna walk into the wall, the person yelled, stop her. And now that guy shit can. So I'm saying, how are we gonna undo years, years, eons of this overnight? Hey, everybody. New rule. Pow. Here's my new name. Here's how I shall be addressed. Here's how this. There's a word you can't say. There's a word you can't say. Boom. We're all just going to stop on a dime.

[Gina Grad]

And not adhering to that will be a fireable offense.

[Adam Carolla]

Right?

[Gina Grad]

Football in the fake lt. We still call the Chargers San Diego all the time. We still. But referees. Offensive pass interference, San Diego.

[Adam Carolla]

At least that's an honest mistake. We didn't foist that upon ourselves.

[Brian Bishop]

And even Patton Oswald, who's one of the most progressive liberal guys in pop culture, even has a bit saying. We get it. Sometimes these words change and the meanings change. Give me a fucking second to catch up.

[Adam Carolla]

Right? Watch it, baby.

[Brian Bishop]

Sorry.

[Adam Carolla]

Sorry. All right. I want to thank quicken [e-mail] Adam for this half of the show. Also, BetOnline AG. Yeah, Max Maddick. Give me the names of the players in this story. Sorry, I think I have them. BetOnline Ag. Enter podcast 1. Tommy John. I'm wearing them right now, of course, in Castrol Ed. So now let's come down to this. So Nick Cannon goes out and drums up a bunch of old tweets that Chelsea Handler and Sarah Silverman and Amy Schumer did because they're on the tip of the spear of all the people, all the heroes of our society that are fixing society as they go. And I guess Nick Cannon sort of feeling like Kevin Hart got thrown under the bus, he went out and dug up some stuff that the heroes had said. And then I saw them read off on tmz. But the problem is, is they can't say fuck or fag, so they just say F word. And my old brain just puts fuck in there every time and goes, why can't Sarah Sillman say fuck? And then I have to go back and try to fix it. Well, I'll play it for you some you need. Some fuck won't do, which, which is just confusing. But then some, like the last one, fuck will work in there. But here we'll just play the clip and you tell me me what kind of new world we're living in. Three of them are very horrific. Like, enjoy Skyfall. F word. I'm about to get knee deep in hell at Hunt. Chelsea Handler. This is what a F word bird likes. Like when he flexes. I don't mean this in a hateful way, but the new bachelor rets a F word. That's a lot of F words. Can't undo my F word math. I had to sit there and like, stop it. And I was going over the game film like Vince Lombardi. Like, I had to stop and go, wait a minute, Adam, stop yelling. Fuck. Said the new bachelor's a fuck. Like, no, no, fag.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, we got a seal here

[Adam Carolla]

and a homo here and a blonde guy run into pay dirt. See? Yeah. So we need to do something. And I'll put it out there. We're talking about pillows and pucks for donuts, for the raised and the cake. Something with the F word. We need a designation now. Saying F word is not gonna work. Way too confusing since both of them can't be said now. Yeah, the one part is the F word. Can't. The real F word. Your grandpa's F word. Your G. No G. F word can't be said on tmz. But no comedian's gonna get fired for saying it. That's what they live off of. Not Brian Reagan. He works clean. Cause he's smart. But we still need a designation. Cuz I'm too old and I hear F I've been using. Also when you do radio, the thing that's funny is when you do radio, radio, radio, radio, radio, radio, you get off the air and you're sitting around on Saturday night and you're like, like, oh, let me tell you something. This GDF comes walking In. And she's like a big. He's got a C girlfriend with her. And I'm like, wtf with the. And then the person you're talking to is like, why don't you just say the word? And you're like, oh, I'm used to being on the radio. Yeah. Then I tell them tmi, man. Yeah.

[Gina Grad]

And in all the articles, Adam, when they did it, they would censor it as well. In text, it would be F. And then they put like an asterisk, a dollar sign, and all those little symbols afterwards so it looked like. Like it was fucked there too.

[Adam Carolla]

Let's just work this one out. You guys can tweet me and I'd like to know. I'm all ears. I'm all ears. And I'd like to spell an ear. What's this? E, E, S. I'm all ears. And I'm all ears. And I want your suggestions. And we will figure out a good one.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah. A good shorthand.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. One or the other or both. Just so we know.

[Brian Bishop]

Distinguished.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't want my children to have to go through what I just went through watching TMZ the other night.

[Gina Grad]

How about a jumping off point? We called them the F word. How about we just say the word but leave off the F? This Ucking Ag. You're not saying the word, but you know what we're saying.

[Adam Carolla]

It's a start. It's a good start. I want to know. We'll see what happens. Also, agates. Oh, Brian, that sounds like a birth stone. What's your stone again? Shave my belt buckle. Pure agate.

[Brian Regan]

Yeah.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, I love agate.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. No, I got New Mexico. It's awesome.

[Gina Grad]

Agate everywhere.

[Adam Carolla]

Anyone born between May 21 and June 15, your birthstone is agate.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah. You're all about agates.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay. All right, so we'll work on that gene.

[Gina Grad]

You like that?

[Brian Bishop]

No.

[Adam Carolla]

Do you have my Dr. Drew clip and why Dr. Drew is the worst co host on the. On the planet.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah. So this is an air for a little bit. About a week. But this is you and Drew talking about fearlessness, right? On the Adam and Dr. Drew Show.

[Adam Carolla]

Drew, what I'm saying to you? Yes, what are you saying to me? Yeah, what are you saying? Think about the fearnet. Fearlessness. Being fearless. Think about all the heroes. Fearless. Hero. Make a list of the Oprah la. Guess who is fearless? Jimmy Doolittle. Who fucking did the raid over Tokyo. Yeah. Guess who was also a hero. Jimmy. Oh, sorry. Go ahead. It's like I'm sitting Next to a fucking retarded person trying to do a show. True. Is there no part of that inflection? Told you what was. Go ahead.

[Brian Regan]

Go ahead.

[Adam Carolla]

Jesus Christ.

[Gina Grad]

Over on the Brain.

[Brian Bishop]

No good.

[Adam Carolla]

I was trying to have this explanation, which I realized when I was sitting in the dentist's office. I took a picture of, like, People Weekly and they had like, John Legend's wife, Chrissy Teigen. Chrissy Teigen. And she's like, how to bake scones and live life fearlessly.

[Brian Bishop]

And I thought they often go hand in hand.

[Adam Carolla]

Where does all of. Where did all the fearless and hero and hero and fearless. Like, when did no fear.

[Gina Grad]

No Fear is back.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, right.

[Adam Carolla]

But when did the models of the billionaires who lived in triple gated communities. When did living a fearless life come? When did we know Evel Knievel was fearless? When I was growing up. Not hot moms who were into baking. When did we start using fearless all the time? And hero and fearless. Oprah will call everyone heroes and fearless and all that kind of stuff. And you can look at the magazine cover, Max Apat. I think it's on my phone. I took a picture of it when I was in the dentist's office. But I've said all roads lead to narcissism. The ultimate narcissism is fearlessness. And I don't mean narcissism, but what I'm saying is pat on the back. When you deal with kids, you know, when you talk to my. You know, we talk. Every story is about being a hero. Every story is about, I was on the schoolyard and this guy must have been 3 foot taller than me. And if I backed him into the paint, I turned him, he scowled up, but I went underneath him and I put the ball in the hoop. And then he pushed me and I push him back. Like, you know, it's all about. And when we talk about when we deliver eulogy, it is never like, well, the guy was inside the house and he heard a car backfire, so he got under the sofa and tried to blow himself. And he's still there. That's where we found him. That's. No, it's all about. There's a sort of social version of it. It's like everyone else at the factory said, fine, they take the wage cut. But he said no. He said no. And he marched right up to the boss's office and he said, these are hard working people. I don't care if it cost me my job. These guys gotta get paid. Like, there's that version There's a World War II version where George Bush Sr. That guy had a free ride to Princeton on a baseball scholarship. He signed up for World War II his 18th birthday. Could have gone to Princeton. Was one of the youngest aviators in World War II. Okay, so we love those stories. They're all told at the eulogies. The eulogy is basically your six and a half best stories highlight reel. It's your highlight reel. And if you look at them, male, female, whatever, war veteran, whatever, they're all gonna skew toward her own fearlessness.

[Gina Grad]

Sure, of course.

[Adam Carolla]

Here's Chris Teigen on People magazine.

[Brian Bishop]

It's an exclusive. It says, food, family, and being fearless

[Adam Carolla]

Food.

[Brian Bishop]

It's exclusive.

[Adam Carolla]

I made scones out of bananas that were brown. I'm fearless. So. Okay. Then there's also. I like Giselle battling suicide and body image anxiety or whatever.

[Brian Bishop]

It's like, oh, so the rest of us should just kill ourselves then?

[Adam Carolla]

She made $53 million last year. She's married to Tom Brady. All right, okay. Awesome. She's fearless. When did all this kick in? When did it all kick? Well, we always. All right, so now we have this to reconcile. Everybody wants to be the conquering hero. It is the fantasy of every man. It's the fantasy of every man to be the football hero. They put the word hero behind football. Doesn't say, be the big football hero. And we want to be celebrated, you know, And. And they do it on the sports field, but really we want to be Jimmy Doolittle. I mean, heroic, of course. That guy takes off, he takes his B24 whatever liberator off or whatever, he's got B18. B. Something is a B24. Anyway, Tokyo, Pearl Harbor. Boom, there's Pearl Harbor. Right? Right. We're fucked up. We don't have. Our Navy's been decimated, and we're screwed. So we need to. We need a moral victory, and we don't have any moral victories going on. And so what we decide is we will go get a battleship as close as we can to Japan, and we will take off some Max Pat is going to have to look this up. B24s, I think. And Jimmy Dulo is going to lead the raid. And there ain't enough fuel to get back to the boat. We're just gonna go there and we're gonna bomb Japan in a sort of almost ceremonial way. They're not gonna really do any real damage. That takes tons and tons of tons of TNT and airstrikes and everything. But we're gonna show them symbolic Victory. That we can reach them. They got to us. We're gonna get to them and we'll ditch in the China Sea or something. But none of you guys are coming back now. Now, you might get to China and land and you might be okay, but you're probably gonna run out of gas and have to ditch over the Pacific Ocean. And then you'll just grow up in a bamboo cage. Just spend the rest of your years in a bamboo. You ride the war out. This is the beginning of the war. You'll ride the war out in a fucking bamboo cage with Japanese prison guards torturing you. Okay. Signed up.

[Brian Bishop]

You in?

[Adam Carolla]

Okay. Now, all of us wants to say we raised our hand and did that. None of us want to do it.

[Gina Grad]

Actually do the hand raising or the flying or the ditching.

[Adam Carolla]

So now we're at a crossroads.

[Brian Bishop]

How do we get all the glory with none of Those?

[Adam Carolla]

There were B25 Mitchell medium bombers, all right? I was off by a whole digit. All right, so what do we. How do we reconcile this thing of. I would love to say I participated with Doolittle during his raid. On the other hand, there's no fucking way I'm flying over Tokyo, taking flak, and then ditching in the ocean. Hmm. Let's find out other safer ways to make me a hero. How about we do that?

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, that sounds good.

[Gina Grad]

Poor man's hero.

[Adam Carolla]

I'd like to be. Don't say poor man.

[Gina Grad]

Live man's here.

[Adam Carolla]

I would like to be a hero, but I certainly don't put my fucking neck out on the line. So we will find many, many, many other ways that don't involve me even leaving the house to label me a hero. That's why this shit has spread as fast as it spread. And that's why everyone's online doing the virtue signaling all fucking day long. Because we have an unyielding desire to be heroes and we have an unyielding self preservation. We have, like, we have to reconcile these two crazy things. It's like, I would love to be a hero. I will never fucking jump that motorcycle over 14 school buses. I won't do it.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

So what do we do? I got to figure out the hero mantle part. That's what's going on. That's why we keep hearing it. So when I was explaining to Dr. Drew, Oprah, I said to Dr. Drew, guess who? You know, flying off thing. Guess who?

[Alex Winter]

Oprah.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, let me hear it one more time just so we can laugh at Dr. Drew. By the way, I have talked to Dr. Drew 141,000 times. When you hear my inflection, Please just sit back, let me finish.

[Brian Bishop]

Make your point.

[Adam Carolla]

Just let me make my point. Listen to the inflection. Sorry, Drew, what I'm saying to you? Yes, what are you saying to me? Yeah, what are you saying? Think about the fearlessness, being fearless. Think about all the heroes. Fearless. Hero. Make a list of the Oprah LaPorte. Guess who is fearless. Jimmy Doolittle, who fucking did the raid over Tokyo. Guess who was also a hero. Jimmy. Oh, sorry, go ahead. Sitting next to a fucking retarded person trying to do a show. True. Is there no part of that inflection? Told you what was. Go ahead.

[Brian Regan]

Go ahead.

[Adam Carolla]

Christ. True.

[Gina Grad]

You said it yourself. Like it's in Drew's genes to just always have to help and finish sentences and just always have to.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, how about put something in his genes for being right 10% of the time. Jesus Christ. And the reason he was saying meow is we were laughing that Edward G. Robinson's last film was Soylent Green. Like 70s with Charlton Heston. And the thing is so funny is when we IMDb'd it, I was like, crazy that this guy was from the 30s, going like, listen, boys, here's what we're gonna do. See, I'll tell you what to do there, Sammy. You get in here. Meow. Listen to me. I'm gonna get these coppers. Meow. We're gonna hit him with a Tommy gun. Yeah, I'm gonna show him what I mean. And now he's in these weird 70s sci fi movies.

[Gina Grad]

Utopian future.

[Adam Carolla]

But if you go to the IMDb page, the picture of him is the guy. Well, no, not that. That's his IMD page. If you go to Soylent Green's one, it's a picture of him from the 40s with the Tommy gun and everything else. Sort of bolstering my point of how Crazy. Where these guys start off in the 30s, standing on a building with the time he got, yelling, top of the world, Ma. Top of the world. Come on, coppers. To some weird 70s futuristic piece of crap. All right, let's see.

[Brian Bishop]

Are we surprised they never remade Soylent Grain?

[Gina Grad]

I am a little bit.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. I think the closest we've come. And, Brian, you're the only person who will understand this. Thank you.

[Adam Carolla]

I was telling Dr. Drew and he was like, what are we going to do with all these homeless people? That's where the Soylent Green part.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, no, I wish I didn't know that.

[Brian Bishop]

That's tough.

[Adam Carolla]

All right. R.J. bell is on the line. Soylent Green. IMDb yeah. Yeah. That picture he showed you the first

[Gina Grad]

time is the one we were looking at yesterday.

[Adam Carolla]

The one where he's got the thing. I understand everything, Gary. Show me the IMDb Soylent Green. The funny part is that it's seeing the modern day pictures of everybody and then seeing old timey the cast. Old timey? Old timey Edward G. Robinson with his stupid fedora, wearing his pinstripe suit. All right, and then he died. That was his last movie. All right, I'll put you in a better mood. It's time to check Adam's voicemail. Ace man Clinton from Kansas driving through Missouri and saw a new one on a highway sign. Airbags aren't pillows. Don't drive drowsy. Thanks. Love the show.

[Alex Winter]

You can leave us a message at 888-634-1744.

[Adam Carolla]

I gotta say, I'm always surprised when I say, see people fall asleep, like, just in front of the TV set. Like, I will see Lynette on occasion fall asleep holding the remote in the air. My grandpa up in the air. Like, what's holding your arm up? Is there fish? I'll wipe my hand over it to see if there's no fishing wire on it. Like, what is going. What is this weird tableau?

[Brian Bishop]

That's freaky.

[Adam Carolla]

It's freaky. I'm jealous. I'm jealous of it. It means you can sleep. Guess who gets to sleep on their next long flight, Right?

[Brian Bishop]

Touch of the narcolepsy, right?

[Adam Carolla]

But when I hear about people falling asleep driving a vehicle, I go, wow, are we capable of anything? Are we capable of overriding ourselves with this sort of unyielding desire, like sleep? Sleep is right up there with sex in terms of. It gets down to this sort of reptilian part of your brain, the idea that you can be going down a Highway at 70 miles an hour and go. Just gonna get a couple winks in, like. Just to the end of this. Yes. Song. Just to the end of Roundabout. I'm just gonna. I'm just gonna shut my eyes and then I'll have a good sense if there's trouble coming on. Yeah.

[Gina Grad]

Well, to that. Have you guys ever. I almost fell asleep when I was driving.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, really?

[Gina Grad]

True story. So what happened? And it's. It's not like I'm gonna get a few wings. I was trying desperately stay awake. I was young and stupid and I was in college, and I had. It was the end of the semester, end of the Winter semester or spring semester, whatever it was. And I was driving home the next day and it was late and I was packing up and I'm like, I'm just gonna stay up all night and drive home at 5 in the morning. Foolish mistake. Because somewhere around Bakersfield or Fresno or something, I was like, well, I'm getting sleepy. You know, it's seven in the morning. In the morning.

[Adam Carolla]

You know what they say, Young and dumb and belly full of someone else's cunt.

[Gina Grad]

Right?

[Adam Carolla]

That was Brian, man. You always hear that. But that's true.

[Gina Grad]

So I did a little nod. I. I shook myself away because at that point it's pretty scary. I'm going on the 5 freeway going 70 miles an hour and pulled my crappy pickup truck over into a gas station.

[Brian Bishop]

You got to the pack of.

[Gina Grad]

The pickup truck was packed with my belongings, boxes of stuff. I went home for the summer and slept. Took a nap on top of the boxes so as not to be robbed.

[Alex Winter]

Wow.

[Gina Grad]

Because I was like, I don't want this stuff to be stolen.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, you're mature and you know yourself. Or you were mature. For the person that.

[Gina Grad]

I had a mature moment for a stupid.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. Mature moment. I'm telling you, if you sit down at a table and just talk to five people over lunch and bring up the subject, somebody will tell you either at that table they fell asleep while driving, had a horrible accident, or they will have like a family member that died or is paralyzed because. Or someone else fell asleep and hit them head on or whatever we went

[Brian Bishop]

to high school with died that way.

[Adam Carolla]

It's insanely common for something you think would be physically impossible.

[Brian Bishop]

And it's one of my favorite Simpsons lines of all time. When Homer's trying to stay awake, he it's okay. I'll just roll down the windows, turn

[Gina Grad]

up the heat, and put on the lullaby channel.

[Adam Carolla]

That was the greatest. When he was dreaming about his car and

[Gina Grad]

the mood.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. All right, we're gonna do a little bright sign. Mr. Bright Sign. I'm gonna try to put a happy stuff. Life got you down? Can't catch a break Thinking about ending it all. Well, don't let Adam turn your frown upside down. It's to time for Mr. Brightside. Hey, Tom.

[Gina Grad]

Hey, how you doing, Adam?

[Brian Regan]

Good.

[Adam Carolla]

61, Georgia. Actually, I'm gonna call you Tommy John because you're getting a free box set of Tommy John. Thank you, that's great. I've been wanting to try them out. They're the best. I'm wearing them right now. Go ahead. Good. Well, you know what, Adam? My thing is, is that, like, I'm temporary laid off over Christmas time. So it's kind of. I have to tighten my belt. And it's kind of putting, you know, it's putting a damper on going out socially and having fun with friends and, you know, things like that. So that's. That's my Mr. Bright side. You don't have the money for Christmas. And, you know, this is something like.

[Gina Grad]

It's.

[Adam Carolla]

It's new to me.

[Gina Grad]

My wife and I were kind of.

[Adam Carolla]

We sold a house that we have

[Gina Grad]

in Pennsylvania, and we own a house in Delaware.

[Adam Carolla]

But this year we decided to spend some time with our son and grandson in Georgia. So, you know, the house we have in Delaware is paid off. If this was the situation, that I'd be fine. But here we're renting an apartment, so,

[Gina Grad]

you know, the money's going towards the

[Adam Carolla]

apartment and just that sort of thing. I got it.

[Gina Grad]

Hey, I hear about the reverse seasonal employee. You know what I mean? He's just like, you're working Christmas or something like that.

[Alex Winter]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Let me say this as a guy who. I'll give you the version of the Christmas tree that's prefabbed and comes decorated and how that ruins it for everybody. And now I'll give you the sort of rich guy version of getting the kids everything and having a seat of packages and junk that they don't even get to or open or have. The favorite thing, the best part about life is the simple stuff. It's really. It's when you walk in and your dog comes trotting at you, you know, wagging its tail. It's the sort of moments you have with family and friends. It's. It's the. It's the long walks on the beach. Like, I hate to sound like a greeting card, but I'm telling you, I've been poor and I've been rich. The rich guy. There's a lot of promise around it, but not a lot of satisfaction. So Christmas is really just a kind of distilled version of what your life should be like. Everyone does that thing every year. They go, I wish everyone could say hi to everyone year round and greet people year round and say, merry Christmas or whatever, good day or whatever. You know, there's always this thing that people say, I wish people could act this way in March and in August, but we don't. But. But that's the ideal. The ideal is to sort of have that life, not be showered with gifts, but do those things like making hot cider and putting a little rum in it. Making something like gingerbread cookies. Brian sent a tweet out that Chrissy loves making things of gingerbread. The notion of carving out that time for you and your daughter, your son, or the whatever, the stupid stuff like stringing popcorn and making a whole 10 foot band of it and wrapping it around the tree. Mindless things that take zero money. The essence of Christmas is really no money. It's doing all these activities. I mean, back in the day, it was, go cut down a tree, bring it in, put it here, string some popcorn, make some gingerbread cookies. In a weird way, your poverty has forced you to embrace life on a more visceral level. And as a rich man who's dripping in white privilege, I can't enjoy that. Thank you. And enjoy your Tommy John's as well. We'll send you out a chub pack of that.

[Brian Bishop]

You did it.

[Adam Carolla]

I did it. And I do mean it. You really. There's a part where if you don't, if you're constantly thinking, I want this, but I can't afford this, then you'll constantly be in this purgatory of, if I just had some money, then I would be happy. If you can get to the position where you can drive whatever car you want or live in a big nice house, only then do you really get the perspective of, I'm still. It makes no difference. And the funnest thing in the world is having the Siri behind me and having the dance party, Rock and roll dance party with my son last Sunday night. I'm like, I'm playing you five kick ass Deep Purple songs in a row and just yelling at that. And then at some point, my daughter running in and yelling at Drake, at Siri. And then I'm yelling, no, play Deep Purple. And then Siri's getting confused. And then I'm holding my daughter and she's. She's like laughing and my son's like trying to put a sock in her mouth, and she's being rushed to the emergency room.

[Gina Grad]

And Phil's like, why not me, right? With a sock.

[Adam Carolla]

But those are those. That's the best part of life. The money causes a lot of divorce and arguments and first world botched plastic surgery. Okay, so somebody lost his. Let's see, line three. Line three. Paul 45, miniature Minnesota. Sorry, I'm not sure where you are in Minnesota. Where are you? I'm in Minnesota. Where? Where at? Whereabouts? Little town called Rockville. Mm. Kind of in the middle of the state. All right, we've Spoken before. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I just turned 45. Kind of went out and celebrated my birthday a little bit too much. And when I came to work on Monday, there was alcohol on me, so I got fired. So I went to detox the next day, actually had my boss drive me there, and I signed up for outpatient treatment. Got to the outpatient treatment place. They took one look at me and said, no way you're going back to detox. And now they're sending me to inpatient treatment. Yeah. Hey, Paul, you don't play too close to the vest with the boost. Wait, hold on. Is this Paul with the horrible roommate?

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, I got rid of that guy.

[Adam Carolla]

Most of the guy that had the porn in his garden. Oh, yeah, he had porn in your garden?

[Brian Bishop]

Blew into his garden.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right. Yeah. That guy's actually sitting in my house right now, but I beat him. Stay in the other room because he's kind of noisy. Yeah. Hold on a second. A quick departure from Mr. Brightside. There's nothing sadder than sad old guy roommate stories. Yeah, I don't. It's the saddest thing in the world, the old guy roommate stories. I have a lot of horrible roommate stories from age 19 to age 31, but I have no more, unless you count Lynette. I have no more sad roommate stories after that.

[Brian Bishop]

Well. And I think it is a gender thing, because you think of the Golden Girls and how quaint and lovely and they live together, and it's amazing. But dudes, it's sad.

[Adam Carolla]

I think you're onto something, which is sort of like the diaper, which is. It's good at the beginning, it's necessary at the end, but you don't want it in the middle. You don't want it at 45. The thing where we're both widowers and we're living together. Yeah, that and. Oh, who's dating now? You know, that's kind of cool. In the golden years, it's the in between years. You don't want the roommates. Sorry. Paul. Paul. Actually, he wasn't a roommate. He rented my upstairs apartment. Okay, I know the same thing. Winner. Now, Paul. Yes, sir. You've gotten sober. How long have you been sober? Well, I just got out of detox today.

[Gina Grad]

36 hours, three days.

[Adam Carolla]

Three days. There you go. Wow. Do you think you can make it through to January 1st without drinking? Well, yeah, I'm probably going into the inpatient treatment thing probably the end of this week. Well, let me say this. Another sad part about it is the local one Closed. So the next nearest place is like 150 miles away. Yeah. So Christmas is going to be kind of in treatment by myself. Well, let's working on you. Let's put it this way, Paul. First off, 45 is like the new 22 or something. I mean, 45 is not old anymore by today's societal standards. If in fact you can get sober at age 45 and you can have this turnaround at age 45, you have many good productive sober years ahead of you. And I think this is gonna be a turning point. Christmas and all the other Christmases are just a blur anyway because you're blackout drunk anyway, right, Paul? Like, when's the last time you were sober during the holiday season? It's been 30 years. Correct. Five years ago when I went through treatment, but yeah, last year I slept through most of Christmas. All right, so this year you'll actually be present. You'll have a memory of your world's worst Christmas.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah. 150 miles away.

[Brian Bishop]

Rock bottom is a good place.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. You'll have a memory of you staring at a post or Betty Ford while you're cutting your inner thigh. See, you're gonna laugh. The greatest gift of all, Paul. No. You shall be sober. You shall spend the year sober. And when you call back in one year, you will say, this is the best year. And thank God, I'll never forget the Christmas of 2018. Thank you, Paul. And enjoy some Tommy John. Cause I know when you're detoxing, you could possibly plot yourself and you're gonna want the best down there. And that is Tommy John. All right, let's bring it home.

[Alex Winter]

Feel better.

[Adam Carolla]

Good.

[Alex Winter]

Thank you, Mr. Brightside.

[Adam Carolla]

Stay on the line.

[Gina Grad]

He's already got his New Year's resolution built in.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right. All right, Brian Regan, one of my favorites is out there. We'll bring him in in just one second. First, the aforementioned Tommy John. Treat yourself and everyone on your list to mind blowing comfort. Tommy John. Most comfortable underwear on the planet. It keeps men neat and nestled and women panty lined and wedgie free. No wedgie guarantee. Comfortable stay put waistbands and luxurious soft fabrics designed to move with you. No bunching, no rolling, no riding up. I'm wearing mine right now, I kid you not. It's all I wear. It's all anyone will wear once you try it. So let's try it. They have a limited edition holiday gift boxes and daily deals as well. Something for everyone on your list. Naughty or nice girls and fellas as well. Simply the best. It is Tommy John. Right, Dawson. Give the gift of mind blowing comfort this holiday season with limited edition holiday gifts from Tommy. John, save 20% on your first [e-mail] Adam. That's tommyjohn.com Adam for 20% off. All right, guy. I'm a big fan of Brian Regan. Jeff Cesario always comes in. Was talking about his special he's working on with Regan and we'll bring him in and we'll talk to him right after this.

[Brian Regan]

Well, it was my New Year's resolution to lose £15 this year. I've only got £25 to go. I read recently Kim Jong Un is concerned considering outlawing sarcasm in North Korea. I wonder if he proposed that to his team and one of his generals said, oh, yeah, that'll work. Tennis is weird. If you don't have any points, you

[Adam Carolla]

have to say love.

[Brian Regan]

You don't say it like that with other things like your checking account.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, no, I've got love.

[Brian Regan]

Apparently the Israeli, Israelis and Palestinians are not getting along. I say we send a good dad over there. What in the hell is going on over here? Well, he started it. No, he started it.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't care who started it. Knock it off. Brian Regan on the Adam Crolla Show. Brian Regan in studio. Stand up and Away with Brian Regan streaming on Netflix starting Christmas Eve. And of course, Jeff Cesario is writing and producing, I'm guessing or yes, something on the show.

[Brian Regan]

He is amazing.

[Adam Carolla]

And nunchucks or nunchucks. I don't know how. I'm still not sure. I've always said nunchucks, but nunchucks. Nunchucks and flame flowers. Flowers. Flowers, name of the Netflix special which is out and I watch in its entirety. I think I've seen all your stand up specialists. I'm a big fan.

[Brian Regan]

Thank you. Wow. Thank you.

[Adam Carolla]

Stand up away. Funny too. I've just seen bits and pieces of it. But that's stand up mixed with sketch.

[Brian Regan]

Correct.

[Adam Carolla]

And one of the sketches that I just saw, which is something that's like near and dear to my heart, is when they set you right next to someone at a restaurant. It's weird. It kind of flies in the face of going out to eat because I want to talk to this person and I don't want to sit Indian style in my living room with them. I want to go have someone bring us food. But whatever they say, oh, it's a separate table. Yeah, it's 11 inches away. Brian, if I was talking about you, you think you could hear me right now?

[Gina Grad]

No, we're Separate tables.

[Brian Regan]

That's right.

[Adam Carolla]

That's their philosophy. I'm saying, what if we all stood up and just removed the tables? Then we'd just be standing two feet from each other.

[Brian Regan]

Then we would be mingling, right? Yeah. I used to live in New York City, and I have a certain amount of social anxiety to begin with, and it always blew me away when you would go to dinner with someone and they would seat you like that, and I would actually look and assess the situation and go, I am literally physically closer to a person I know nothing about. Like, they're sitting right next to you. You are closer to them than your date.

[Adam Carolla]

The person across you is three feet

[Brian Regan]

across, and the person next to you

[Adam Carolla]

is far away from you. Right There's. Okay, who's the worst then? Who's the worst? I'm so with you on this. Is it the person that comes in alone and then sits next to you alone so you know that person's hearing every fucking syllable going back and forth? Who's worse? The alone person who just chooses to sit next to you, which is weird. And also, there's an element of, oh, that's Brian. Oh, I saw his. Oh, now I like.

[Brian Regan]

Makes it more awkward.

[Adam Carolla]

I went. Kimmel took me out to lunch. Two years ago for my birthday, we sat at, like, an Italian place, and a guy just sat alone next to us. So, like, other booths were open. And then, of course, at the end, he was like, hey, man, I'm a big fan. It's like, of course he listened to every N bomb Jimmy dropped, one after the other. I lost count.

[Brian Bishop]

I didn't see that coming.

[Brian Regan]

Yeah. Why would he say all those things?

[Adam Carolla]

So every F bomb. Both F bombs and one of the ends and whatever. Or maybe the hardship. So.

[Brian Regan]

And anything you have an opinion on, you know, if you talk about politics, if you talk about anything, you're concerned that somebody next to you is absorbing it. And now in today's world, who knows if they're recording it?

[Adam Carolla]

So what is worse then, the person who sits alone next to you and you think, well, this person's listening to every word I'm saying. Or the couple that sits next to you but refuses to talk to each other? Like, you're just sitting there and you're having these stupid things, like, you're yelling at my wife, we should fire the nanny. Come on, man. That's just bullshit. The kids are too old. And then you look to your side, and there's just two people sitting there.

[Gina Grad]

They're just sitting there, down with their Food?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Like, of course, now there's two people listening to what we're saying. If you guys would get in your own heated. You know. Are you kidding me? You know, Peyton Manning's hell of a lot statistically not Tom Brady, but come on, if that's what you're having, then you're having your own thing. Who's worse, single person or couple that won't talk?

[Brian Regan]

I think a single person would be much more awkward because you know that there's nothing else going on with them. At least the couple. Well, the couple not talking is strange as well. I had a show in Hawaii recently, and I went to this little place for lunch, and there was a couple sitting nearby. Just a couple. And the guy was on his iPad at the.

[Adam Carolla]

At the table. Yeah.

[Brian Regan]

And the woman was like, looking around like, does anybody see what I'm dealing with here? And, like, rolling her eyes. And I'm like, I don't know if this is like their first Hawaiian vacation, but this is also their last Hawaiian vacation, you know, I don't know what the guy was thinking, but.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, I'd like to add one more contender to that list. There's the single person. There's the couple who clearly hates each other. And what about a couple who has zero respect for the fourth wall? We can at least pretend we're ignoring each other. But if someone's like, I'm so sorry, I just. That looks really good.

[Adam Carolla]

What is that?

[Brian Bishop]

Like, no respect for the fourth wall. Let us pretend we're having some pride

[Adam Carolla]

in this and all the shit we talk about. This person. The greatest moment of my restaurant going life was because I was sitting with a couple. Danny Two Sheets was one of them. You guys know the story. I was sitting in a New York restaurant with Danny Two Sheets and his then wife. And I was talking. I was engaged to Lynette. And then we broke up. And then, like, I felt horrible. And then I was like, we should get a condo. She should live in a condo. And then he was yelling, you pay for the condo. And then I was saying, I'll put the down down for the condo and she can make the payments. And he was like, buy her the condo, you cheap fuck. The least you could do. And I kept saying, I want her to treat the condo like she owns it, not as like some consolation gift or some breakup gift or something like that. So I'll put the down down. She'll make the payments, you know, 900 bucks a month or whatever. At the time, she's got a job. It's Fine, let her own it. We went back and forth for about 20 minutes. At some point, a guy from another table just came around and went, let him get out of the fucking condo. Shut up. Just shut up. I can't take it anymore. Like, it starts screaming at Danny, Daniel Kelson to shut up about the fucking condo. And in that particular case, I did like it.

[Gina Grad]

The tiebreaker goes in your favor.

[Adam Carolla]

What do I.

[Brian Regan]

You're probably saying it even louder, you know, to get people to, like, you know, weigh in and condone your opinion.

[Adam Carolla]

I did. There's so Brian Regan, I have you on a list, but tell me if this is fair of comedians who are standup comedians who've made their bones doing standup comedy and not guys that did sitcoms and then went out and did stand up after and then did some standup and then quit standup as fast as they could quit stand up as soon as they got a network gig and blah, blah, blah. But you tell me how many years of standup? Many.

[Brian Regan]

You know, I mean, since I got out of college, I started doing standup. I would have liked along the way, especially years ago, to get one of those sitcom things that were. They were handing out to comedians. I always thought that was like winning the super bowl, you know, I always thought that meant that you. You've done pretty good as a standup, and now we are going to reward you with this. So I. I like the idea of it as like a trophy, but I didn't like it so much in terms of creatively, you know, I just thought it would be a milestone.

[Adam Carolla]

But is the joke. Well, tell me if this rings true. It's true. We all want to go the Michael Richards route, right? Well, which part? Okay, probably pick someone. There's many other sitcom stars I probably could have picked. But what I'm saying is there's a part of me that always thought personally in terms of my own career, if I just picked a sport, if I just went, I'm doing standup, I'm focusing on stand up, and that's all I'm doing. I'm not going to bounce around from doing radio to doing stand up, to doing this, to doing that, that I probably would have had a more lucrative career, like just a better career just focusing on literally just like on one sport, like big picture in terms of your bank account, and I'm not talking about a runaway Seinfeld success terms of a sitcom. But I think your strategy of sort of the long game has worked out much better Big picture than. I don't know, hot sitcom star in the late 80s, early 90s, then flames out or whatever or loses his ability to do standup or desire.

[Brian Regan]

I got fortunate in that, I thought, but years ago, I was fortunate enough to open for Seinfeld after his sitcom had come out. And it was like one of my first times performing in a theater. And they were there to see him, obviously, but I got to do 20 minutes in front of him, and it was like an amazing experience. And that immediately became my goal, is that I wanted to perform in theaters as much as I love comedy clubs. I wanted to. I love that focus. And, you know, the blunders aren't going off the whole nine yards. But I thought you had to get a sitcom to be able to draw like that, right? So I thought, all right, he's got a sitcom. So that's why I wanted to get a sitcom. Not because I cared about a sitcom or the creative aspect of it. I still liked stand up, so I thought you'd need to get a sitcom to be able to perform theaters. Well, that wasn't happening. And I just kept getting lucky enough where more and more people seemed to like what I was doing, and I was able to make. Make the jump to the theaters without doing the sitcom. And so. And so I was like, wow, I didn't need that. I didn't need that piece of the pie. This is already working out. So then when I got that fortunate, then I was like, now if I ever do a show, it'll be what I want it to be. I don't want to do like a conventional type of sitcom.

[Adam Carolla]

The. It's a four. This is four. Half hour. Approximately half hour.

[Brian Regan]

Exactly.

[Adam Carolla]

I love that, that we're living in a time when it's like, I don't know, or 26 minutes or whatever, because it used to be down to the second with the commercials backed out and everything. All right, this half of the show brought to you by Medmen and Blue Apron and Lifelock and stamps dot com. Let me tell you about Medmen. Holidays are here. Let's take care of everyone on the list. Medmen celebrating the first legalization friendly holiday season in approved states with awesome deals. Look for stocking stuffers and look in the stocking stuffer section. Stuff all under 20 bucks. Exclusive bundles from premium brands. Not sure what to buy. Can't go wrong with the Medmen gift card now available in all stores. And you can visit any of their 14 locations in California. And the new Las Vegas store now open on Paradise Road in harmon. Go to medmen.com you can find out the store nearest you and find out out just how good they are and how many deals they got going [e-mail] Right, Dawson. Start a new holiday tradition this year with Medmen. And don't forget to use Code Adam Carolla at checkout to get $10 off your purchase. Be a holiday hero this year with MedMen. Limit one per customer. Terms and conditions apply. Keep out of reach of children for use only by adults 21 years of age and older. Where do you live, Brian?

[Brian Regan]

He's got the best voice ever.

[Adam Carolla]

I know.

[Brian Bishop]

It's all right.

[Brian Regan]

My gosh.

[Adam Carolla]

Strong.

[Brian Bishop]

Strong.

[Adam Carolla]

I picture you. I'm trying to think like Bob Costas lives in St. Louis because it's right in the middle and he can just go anywhere. If you think about Bob Costas life, three hours. It'd be tough living in, you know, Glendora. You'd have to get on planes a lot and go on long flights. He can get anywhere in two and a half hours. But what about you, Brian Reagan? Where are you?

[Brian Regan]

I live across the street from Bob Cost. No, I live in Las Vegas. I've been in Las Vegas the last 15 years.

[Adam Carolla]

Is it good there for. Is it good for taxes? Is it good for.

[Brian Regan]

Well, that's not why I moved there, but they do not have a state income tax, which is a big difference from this particular state right here. And so that's a nice byproduct, but that's not why I moved there.

[Adam Carolla]

Why did you move there?

[Brian Regan]

I was married at the time. My ex is from Las Vegas, and when I did travel, she was get help with her mom and sister with the kids when I was traveling.

[Adam Carolla]

Is there something to like about Vegas that I'm missing out on? Are you, like, up in Henderson somewhere?

[Brian Regan]

No, Henderson is the east side. I'm over on the west side. And, well, there's stuff to do every night if you feel like doing it. And if. Do you golf?

[Adam Carolla]

No.

[Brian Regan]

All right, well, you can golf year round.

[Adam Carolla]

I had a funny conversation. I think sometimes you. You wonder who you're not wonder. But you have to think about halfway into your conversation who you're having the conversation with. I was just hanging out with James Baby Doll Dixon, my agent yesterday. He's an east coast guy, but he's out and we're eating lunch yesterday, and he's telling me all his golf stories. And he's got golf clubs stashed like gangsters would have Goumah stashed in every city. He's got his golf club stashed. You can find him at the airport, you know, and he was explaining about golf and I was listening. And then I always think about Dr. Drew. And Dr. Drew was a doctor. He lives on a golf course, actually, and he should golf, but he doesn't golf because Dr. Drew just goes, who has time to golf? Who has time to golf? Who has this time? Who has this time? Who has this? It's crazy to him that people have that much time. And I was listening to George Bush Sr. Getting eulogized. And he was being eulogized and he was, is it George Washington? Yeah, George Washington, George H.W. too many names. All right. He was being eulogized. And part of the eulogy was he was so efficient and he was always in such a hurry that when he golfed, nobody golfed faster. Like, you had to run alongside him. He'd golf, golf, and he run the whole thing. And you know, he'd do 18 holes in 90 minutes. And that's how efficient he was. And I was like, or he could have not golf, or he could have just gone to work on Wednesday like

[Brian Regan]

we do, instead of, what a great man. He just figured out how to golf every day.

[Adam Carolla]

Right? I like the efficiency during my eulogy. Like Corolla, when he would beat off for the third time before he left for work. Nobody squoves one off faster than the ace man. It's like, or he could have hugged his kids and went to work. He didn't have to golf every day. I was explaining that to James Baby Doll Dixon. And in the middle of it, I could see his face changing and he's like, baby, it's good exercise, you know, I was like, oh, yeah, you, you're. Oh, yeah, sorry. You golf every day?

[Brian Regan]

Well, I wish I had more time to do it, but it is harder and harder to get out and play.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, you have set yourself up a schedule where you can. I mean, theoretically, if you're doing a gig at night. But how many your gigs are in Vegas?

[Brian Regan]

I don't, I don't perform there.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm guessing you tour the country all the time.

[Brian Regan]

I'm just a dad. When I go to Las Vegas.

[Adam Carolla]

Do you do the like rock and roll tour bus? Sort of.

[Brian Regan]

I have a tour bus, which is kind of cool. And I usually do. I do half the weekends of the year, Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday for one nighters. And those are usually close enough where I go from city to city on the bus.

[Adam Carolla]

How many dates a year would you play on an air About a year? Yeah.

[Brian Regan]

About 100.

[Adam Carolla]

About 100. That's an average Brian Reagan year. How much of your material and how conscious are you of it and how much needs to change when you come back into town?

[Brian Regan]

Well, usual rotation in theaters is a year and a half. I don't know how they came up with that. Like, comedy clubs was every six months, but they said for theaters it has to be a year and a half. They said, you don't want somebody looking at an ad in a newspaper. You don't ever want them going, wasn't he just here?

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Brian Regan]

Not this guy again. So it's a year and a half, and usually by a year and a half, I will have turned over, I would hope, two thirds of it.

[Adam Carolla]

Right, right. I'm always. I'm just sort of curious because there's not any rules. And we all know in the music world, you gotta go out there and just play the hits over and over again. The comedy world has hits as well. But we don't want to hear the same act we heard 18 months ago.

[Brian Regan]

Correct.

[Adam Carolla]

So about three quarters of it has been turned over.

[Brian Regan]

I would hope so.

[Adam Carolla]

You would hope so when you come back into that town.

[Brian Regan]

Right. But then sometimes people. I remember doing a show in a comedy club, and early in the week, I had this joke about, why do dogs bark late at night? Wouldn't it be weird if people yelled late at night for no reason?

[Adam Carolla]

So.

[Brian Regan]

And then I. I'd act that out. Well, I did that early in the week, and then at the end of the week, same club, I do a show. I thought I had a good show. I walk off stage, this woman grabs my arm and says, you didn't do the dog. I brought everybody tonight to see the

[Adam Carolla]

dog, and you didn't do it.

[Brian Regan]

And then she just threw my arm away like it was a rag. And I remember just, like, walking away going, damn.

[Adam Carolla]

I just.

[Brian Regan]

I thought I just killed for an hour. And I. And I made somebody angry. Did I made somebody. What's that? I didn't do the dog. I know I should have done the dog. Guess what bit I do every night

[Adam Carolla]

now, the sense of humor thing, there's a lot of theories about, like, sort of where. Where it comes from. I have. I'm starting to just think it's more like a musical ear or any other talent or ability you have, and then you have to flesh it out, but you just sort of have it, this notion of, like, it comes from pain. Most of the world's in pain. Most of the Middle east is in pain. They're not a jovial group over there. So I'm guessing it's sort of just in you. But your background and your sense of humor and your stuff seems sort of relatively normal. I guess I would say, like, you seem the idea like. I think everyone kind of gets all the different kinds of comedians, but Brian's feels like it's born from suburbia. But we figured out a way to be funny. Is there something in your background that we don't know about? Or what did your parents do?

[Brian Bishop]

And please share it for the first time here.

[Alex Winter]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Were you just always funny?

[Brian Regan]

You know that it's a great question and I've always been fascinated with comedy, but I do believe that comedy can happen in a variety of different places. You know, you have your Bill Burrs and your George Carlins and, you know, your edgy side of comedy, which I think is wonderful and beautiful. But I also think you can find comedy in just incredibly mundane subjects. You know, try to find something peculiar within the mundane and, and make it interesting. Like something you go, I never thought of that. But I remember reading a preview for a show of mine and they said, Brian Regan, who does jokes about food, travel and, and sports, is performing at the local comedy club. And I, I just remember thinking, who the hell would be motivated by the subject?

[Adam Carolla]

Right?

[Brian Regan]

You know, like, like nobody's traveled. Yeah, nobody's reading that, going, honey, we gotta check this guy out. He's exploring our favorite subjects for humor.

[Gina Grad]

You love travel.

[Brian Regan]

You love travel.

[Gina Grad]

We just ate.

[Brian Regan]

We just ate. We saw the ball game.

[Adam Carolla]

Remember that time we ate on the plane?

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, double whammy.

[Gina Grad]

On the way to the ball game.

[Brian Regan]

On the way to the ball game. We were traveling and we had food.

[Adam Carolla]

Such a weird thing with comedy. I always feel that way when you're trying to pitch some sort of sitcom or something. And they're like, and they're like, tell us the premise, tell us the premise. And like, think about all in the Family or some of your favorite sitcoms. Like, what is the premise? This guy sits in this chair and makes fun of his son in law and is mean to his wife and he never leaves his living room.

[Gina Grad]

Well, the absolute Seinfeld is the ultimate example. Yeah, how do you pitch Seinfeld a show about nothing?

[Adam Carolla]

I don't even. It's weird that they even want to hear the premise. It's like, who is executing the premise? Not what is the premise. The highfalutin ones where it's like, he joined the wax, but he's really A fella. Now he's got to dress as a woman. He's got to make hijinks in the barracks. Like, those ones never work. As a matter of fact, the ones that have the big premise never work.

[Brian Regan]

Well, that's. What if you had to pitch your song ideas and you had to go to some committee and go, what's the idea of the song? It's about love.

[Adam Carolla]

It's about love.

[Brian Regan]

Oh, oh, okay. Yeah, I think we can do that. I mean, that's what, you know, sitcoms. It's just, you know, like you say, the premise itself is not necessarily what makes it interesting. Barney Miller is one of my favorite sitcoms ever. And it was just held in a jailhouse. Like, they had one set and they had a set of bars in the background. They would bring a prisoner in each week and that would add to the story of that particular week. And it's all about those characters and how they communicate with each other and how they're going to deal with this new person. And it can be very simple. It's all in how well you pull it off.

[Adam Carolla]

You know, it was funny, too, when you think about Barney Miller, that all the characters were really low energy. Like, I think Jack sue or whatever, the Asian guy, like, barely opened his eyes or spoke. There was Wojo Ho Witz, who is the other guy. Like, everyone was, like, totally subdued. They had one set piece. Like, they had one place. They never went upstairs or downstairs or anything. Every guy was, like, super quiet. The lines were super funny, but nobody ever did it with the physical flair any. There wasn't any get her done or. There was no catchphrases or anything.

[Brian Bishop]

That's considered a pacing issue today.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, my God. Find me Jack sue talking to Ava Goda, by the way. Like, the two is low, these guys. One was sucking on an ether rag, the other was popping. The other was throwing Quaaludes into the other guy's mouth like you do with popcorn on a first date when you're falling in love. And they just both sit there just staring at each other. But they were saying funny things. And a great baseline at the beginning.

[Brian Regan]

Look at the Honeymooners. I mean, that practically always took place in that one kitchen. They didn't even hardly ever go into the bedroom.

[Adam Carolla]

I never saw them go anywhere. And by the way, the pow to the moon stuff, that's on the chopping block, right? Oh, it better be. That's me on a no fly zone one of these days. All right, Find me Jack sue on Barney Miller talking to Abe Vagoda, find me a dialogue with those two, and I'll tell you first about Blue Apron. Oh, holidays are fast approaching. Meal prep. Last thing you want on your plate. Cooking delicious, wholesome meals is easy with Blue Apron.

[Alex Winter]

Oh.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh. Olga made salmon last night. Blue Apron. She made the salmon. God, what was that on it? It's the greatest sauce ever.

[Brian Regan]

She.

[Gina Grad]

It's a Bernay sauce.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know. But she never stopped patting herself on the back. But I agreed. She said, this is the best. It was the best. I'm not even a big salmon guy.

[Gina Grad]

Lemon caper sauce.

[Adam Carolla]

Maybe it wasn't a lemon caper, but it was so damn good. Oh, we have this every night. Anyway, it's chef design recipes. Fresh, seasonally inspired ingredients. Meals worth sharing on social media, and you can get them done in as little as 20 minutes. Comes with easy to follow recipes. Every single one of them has been a home run. I had one experience with Blue Apron, one of the hundreds of meals I've eaten where I said to Olga, my nanny, this one, it's a little. Little salty. It's a little off. It's not quite what it was. And she said, I mixed the blue apron with the other thing I had with the other pork sausage. I got the other and I mixed it in to try to make the apron was exactly. Try to make it go further. And I said, I knew it.

[Gina Grad]

You showed her to the back of your hand.

[Adam Carolla]

I knew it. I did. I just showed it to her. That's all you need to do is towers to the moon. I would yell. She'd yell. It's the first time someone from Guatemala would ever go to the moon. I'd say, to the moon. All right. Anyway, check out this week's menu and get the first three meals free at blueapron.com Adam just the best. You'll never go back. Blueapron.com Adam, get the first three meals for free. Can you find Ernie Miller? I'll accept. Wojo Hoitz. Talking to Halloween. Who was that? How. I don't remember your favorite sitcom. Come on.

[Brian Regan]

I don't. I don't.

[Adam Carolla]

How. Who starred in.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, Hal Linden.

[Adam Carolla]

Hal Linden. Sorry.

[Brian Regan]

Oh, Hal Linden.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, that guy from your allegedly favorite sitcom.

[Brian Regan]

I don't. I don't know things. I. I know little bits. I have little flashing bits of things that I think about and know.

[Brian Bishop]

Driver's ed teacher used to say, you know, what you know is a mile wide but an inch deep.

[Adam Carolla]

Do you. You guys all know the theme, though, right?

[Gina Grad]

It's been Played on the show before.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes, Jazzy, good bass line. Drums kick in, but God in it. Back in the day, I never really thought about like, like when you watch a sitcom now, how hard everyone is sort of pedaling that bike. Back then they were just com, they were just slow and slow it, I,

[Brian Regan]

I, I, I shouldn't be throwing modern sitcoms under the bus, but I, they are too fast with the lines. It's not real to me. Like people aren't that witty every single thing they say. It's hard for me to get into a conventional, modern major network sitcom because of that.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, funny line, funny line, funny line,

[Brian Regan]

funny line, funny line. It's like, this isn't real.

[Adam Carolla]

The one guy is a long haul trucker and the other guy works at a sewage waste facility plant. And you're like, why are you these guys lightning fast?

[Brian Regan]

Don't they realize how gifted they are? Why don't they go out to Hollywood and become comedians?

[Adam Carolla]

Never go back to the waste treatment facility ever again. Ernie, you belong on stage with a brick facade behind you.

[Brian Regan]

Everything you say is hysterical.

[Gina Grad]

It's an eight year old killing it.

[Brian Regan]

Yes, yes. When the kids are saying things that no kid would ever say, that's very difficult for me.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, we will find that. We will find. I don't know. What do they have?

[Gina Grad]

We're just screening a clip right now of sue talking to Wojo.

[Adam Carolla]

So you got Jack sue talking to Wojo Hoets, huh?

[Gina Grad]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

What was Jack Sue's name in the character?

[Gina Grad]

Nick Yamana.

[Adam Carolla]

Nick Yamana, yeah. Okay. I think he died insanely early. I mean, not insanely, but he died at a young age, like shortly after Barney Miller.

[Gina Grad]

I think he died in 79, age 61.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, let's hear him. Do you have it?

[Gina Grad]

Yeah. This is Jack sue in Wojo.

[Brian Regan]

It's for you.

[Adam Carolla]

Brian Reagan.

[Brian Regan]

Do you ever feel any longings to

[Adam Carolla]

return to your home? It's back to the ancient cultures and

[Brian Regan]

traditions, back to the shrines and temples of your ancestors. Back to the terrorist hill signs and the cherry trees.

[Adam Carolla]

I was born in Omaha. We got a city in Nebraska sounds just like that. Funny line. Is that Wojo Hoitz? Mojo Hoitz is the other guy.

[Brian Regan]

Wojo was the played the Polish guy.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Come on, you should know this. You're almost 35.

[Gina Grad]

The description says it was Wojo, so.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, really?

[Gina Grad]

I've never seen the show, so the description.

[Adam Carolla]

You insult our guests. All right, find Wojo talking to Jack Sue. All right, we just gotta kind of find one where Jack talks. Yeah, It'll help. All right, let's do a little news, huh? Gina Grant.

[Brian Bishop]

Let's do it.

[Adam Carolla]

Give me the news with Grad.

[Alex Winter]

News with Gina Grad.

[Adam Carolla]

Breaking viral.

[Alex Winter]

All those crazy Trump tweets. Give me news with Gina Grad.

[Adam Carolla]

Trouble in the Middle East, Celebrity drunk meltdown. Seek News with Gina Gina. The News with Gina Grad.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, with Kevin Hart out as the host of the 2019 Oscars, the organization is thinking of going hostless this year. A source tells Variety the comedian's departure last week blindsided the Academy and now their quote, freaking out with no plan B. The show's producers are considering all options. Another insider says the Academy is reportedly, quote, gun shy about going with someone anyone might think is too edgy. The safest bet then would be going with a host. Not a host, but a bunch of hosts. Like something SNL style, buzzy people, quote, unquote weird.

[Adam Carolla]

We're living in a time when you can go, go to your phone and watch as much weird German stump porn as you want.

[Brian Bishop]

Sure can.

[Adam Carolla]

The fastest growing sport is guys in their underpants, putting their shins in other guys orbital sockets where men are becoming women and women are becoming men and the cars are driverless and there's a pot dispensary on every corner. When did we get so puritanical and uptight about comedians all of a sudden? Now. Now, back when Lenny Bruce was doing whatever Lenny Bruce did or Mort Saul was doing what Mort Saul did, we were super uptight on every subject. But then when these guys grabbed the stage and grabbed the mic, they sort of, sort of said what they wanted. They'd get into trouble on occasion. But what I'm saying is we understood when Richard Pryor was Richard Pryor in 1975, that was Richard Pryor. Then the entire world went the other direction but decided to clamp down on the guys telling the jokes. That's insane that we've gone this direction with drugs and with sexuality and with exposing your kids to whatever, whenever, whoever, and all the time. But there's a group that we decide to really clamp down on. Almost feels like overcompensation, like it's fucking Sodom and Gomorrah in every other department. But we're gonna go ballistic on a stand up comedian, right?

[Brian Bishop]

Well, and that's the thing. It's like, can we at least make

[Adam Carolla]

sense or be somewhat consistent?

[Brian Bishop]

Well, and when you talk about Richard Pryor, George Carlin, you would think that they were the people's folk hero. You know, it's like you gotta Protect them and their free speech at all costs.

[Adam Carolla]

Hold on. We gotta. We got a clip of Jack Soon. Ava. Go.

[Brian Bishop]

Breaking.

[Adam Carolla]

So sorry.

[Alex Winter]

This is.

[Adam Carolla]

This is breaking. This is breaking from 1974. Now this from 1974 coming over the wire. Super low energy from a sitcom. 5:15am the city is asleep. The wind has an edge to it. The cold slaps my face. I am tired, but I have a job to do. What do you think? I don't know. Don't sound like one of your regular arrest reports. I'm writing a book. Good morning. Here comes. There's a. I don't think so. What's the matter? I had hot flashes on the subway. Something you eat for breakfast? You don't get hot flashes from prunes. Hey, Harris is writing a book. What kind of book? Fish wants to know what kind of book.

[Brian Regan]

A novel.

[Adam Carolla]

A novel? What kind of novel,

[Alex Winter]

you might ask.

[Adam Carolla]

There's Wojo. Horowitz is coming in the door.

[Brian Regan]

He's coming.

[Adam Carolla]

He's kind of right when Wojo's coming in. You don't understand, man.

[Alex Winter]

The whole secret is oxygen in the blood. Anything that makes your heart beat very

[Adam Carolla]

fast, man, it's got to be good for you. I find. All right. I'm just saying that, hey, handball is as good as your way, but you can't dance with a handball. Now think about the old Chinese guy and the old Jewish guy. Imagine them being cast. They're like, hey. And they'd be like, we went young, we went urban. They gotta be able to dance. Like, imagine just going, we want old guys talking slow.

[Brian Bishop]

No, no, no. It wouldn't happen. And it doesn't happen.

[Brian Regan]

I've been in a couple of pitch meetings where you pitch an idea and you think it's off the beaten path. And they will say. The network people will say, well, we don't have any shows like that on our network. And I thought that was a good thing.

[Brian Bishop]

You're welcome.

[Brian Regan]

Oh, wow. Fantastic. You know, but that's a downer. It's weird because a downer, they want what they already have. Like hybrids of what they already have.

[Adam Carolla]

When agents don't want you, they go, we already have of one of you. Which is sort of the opposite in the Hollywood community. You know, they go, we got a blonde 12 year old girl who's a tomboy, so we don't need your daughter in our agency. But then you get to the network and you pitch them a sitcom and they go, we don't have one of those. We want one that's close to what we have, it's kind of a weird. I think it's just a way to sit at a blackjack table, play not to lose. The odds are against you, and eventually you're just gonna have to cash out. Like that sort of strategy, or there's a sporting football sort of strategy to that too. And all the great sitcoms, knowing that was playing to win. And I don't know if people do that anymore.

[Brian Regan]

Yeah, well, it would be like, you want to go for it on fourth down every now and then. And I think it's the same in the creative world.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, where were we? Oh, hosting the Oscars.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. No host. Like a no host dinner party. I mean, no host possibly, you know,

[Gina Grad]

figured this out and it doesn't get. I rarely give him credit. He deserves Donald Trump. Trump was like, you know, yeah, I said those things. He says an outrageous thing, and people get outraged. Like, yeah, I said it. It's locker room talk. Get over it. And it's like. And then it's like. It's like, well, he's. He's. He's on to the next thing. The problem is like, oh, no, I'm sorry, now what? How quickly can I apologize?

[Adam Carolla]

Well, if the deal is own it. You know, if you think about where a lot of this is coming from. I was talking to Drew about this, and we've talked about before, you think about progressive movement. Well, it has the word progress and movement in it. It does not have a satisfied moving on component to it. It's we will move forward, we will move, and we'll be progressive. So what you were apologizing for five years ago, you're gonna be apologizing for something else now. We don't. We don't have a thing where we check all the boxes and move on to the next crisis. We keep going this direction, and there is no stopping. So the conceit is, I will apologize and then they will stop. The answer is, no, they will not. They will move on to the next thing, and you may be included in that. So with that in mind, do not apologize. When you don't apologize, they don't get satisfaction. When they don't get satisfaction, they move on to the next person who will give them satisfaction by apolog. Apologizing. And yeah, like Brian says, whether it's, you know, you're Howard Stern or you're

[Gina Grad]

Trump's, Charles Barkley's a good example.

[Adam Carolla]

Barkley or I've always said it's like Snoop Dogg with pot. Like, at a certain point, you would be disappointed if he wasn't smoking pot. You know what I mean? He's established. This is what I do.

[Brian Bishop]

I feel so cordial today. I'm so sad I'm missing something.

[Adam Carolla]

This is what I do. This is my brand. And nobody. You know the thing that's funny about Trump, in all the vitriol and all the negative news stories and all the, you know, everyone with their panties in a bunch and on all of that, in two years, no one has ever asked him to apologize. They've been like, he's hit larian. He needs to be removed. He needs to see the fire. No one ever went like, hey, man, you gotta apologize for that statement, he said, because they know he doesn't apologize.

[Gina Grad]

So to Brian's point, terrorists, Trump doesn't apologize, right?

[Brian Regan]

So that happened with Joan Rivers. I think she was doing some jokes about flight attendants, and the flight attendant union or whatever, demanded that she apologize.

[Brian Bishop]

How'd that go over?

[Brian Regan]

And she said, I'm not apologizing. Do what you need. Do what you need to do with that information.

[Adam Carolla]

Not apologizing, right?

[Brian Regan]

And it just kind of went away. You can't get, you know, blood out of a stone.

[Adam Carolla]

But, like, negotiating with terrorists who abduct camera crews. If she had then publicly apologized for that, then the next comedy set she did, there would have been a group of union butchers or bakers or candlestick makers who wanted her, who demanded an apology. She's on apologies, right? It's funny. People demand everything from Trump, but never an apology. It's never an apology. No one's ever asked him to apologize.

[Brian Regan]

And now there are times when you say something that you do truly regret. And I think if it's in your heart and soul, and you go, you know what? I screwed up, and I shouldn't have said that, and I regret it, and I want to apologize. Those kinds of apologies, I think people should do. But an apology that's forced on someone, and, you know, they're just doing it for career reasons. They just seem kind of empty to me.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, it's basically when somebody's saying, look, you gotta apologize, we're gonna lose sponsors, you're gonna lose backing, you're gonna lose money. If somebody said, hey, I need you to apologize, I'm gonna take your car. You just go, okay, sorry. Whatever it was, sorry about that. So what's the difference? Your car's worth $41,000, or you're gonna lose $70,000 worth of backing or whatever it is, just apologize. It's like, literally like saying, apologize or I'll take something valuable of you. Yours could be a durable good, could be something in a checking account, in opportunity. Wherever someone goes, fuck it, I'll apologize, guys. That's why everyone is in such a hurry. And also no crisis manager or publicist says, fuck those guys. Let's get drunk and drop our pants on the. Suck our cock. Everyone's like, just, just, we gotta get out ahead of this. We're gonna get out ahead of the people that are advising are behind. They're essentially getting back to the terrorist thing. Hey, if there's. When we were growing up, if you're in your classroom and you hear gunshots, right, Everyone just get on the ground and just lay under their desk and just wait for. Wait, Wait for help. Wait for help. That was the old advice. New advice is throw your fucking shoe at the guy and charge him. That's right. This is a new, this is a new thing. The old advice, I think with the publicist and all the crisis managing people just get out ahead of it. Just apologize. I've crafted something for you to read. It's very. It'll make sure we're something dark. Don't show a lot of cleavage, especially if you're a dude. Like, here you go. Read this and hope that everyone understands. That was the old way of doing. The new way should just be, fuck you. I don't apologize because I didn't do anything wrong.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Thank you.

[Brian Bishop]

I have a prediction for the upcoming Oscars. I'll say within five years, but I think probably within three years, who the host is gonna be.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, I got a better one.

[Brian Bishop]

Brian, you already know you got a better one.

[Adam Carolla]

I got a better one. Prediction.

[Brian Bishop]

All right, well, let me put this out there and then, and then we'll. We'll make sure that yours is better, which I'm quite sure it is.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, well, I'll just announce it's better.

[Brian Bishop]

Awesome. It'll be an Avatar. It'll be. We'll, we'll be. We'll pat ourselves on the back. How good Hollywood is at coming up with a great hologram.

[Gina Grad]

It'll be that sort of Sonny Carson or Bob Howells.

[Adam Carolla]

No.

[Brian Bishop]

Or no. It'll be a brand new sexy kind of. It'll be a girl, you know, hello, welcome to 2020.

[Adam Carolla]

It'll be like one of those about a hologram. Time magazine, what humans will look like in 50 years. And they have this sort of weird shade of female or something that's like all cultures all mix one, the penis sticking out of A vagina.

[Brian Bishop]

Just like that.

[Adam Carolla]

That'll be it. That'll do it. All right.

[Brian Regan]

That's interesting. And then there's no social media history.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right.

[Brian Regan]

You've created something that has no bad back history.

[Brian Bishop]

Yep. And we'll marvel at how real it looks. And that'll be a distraction when the sextet comes out. Exactly. I think that's coming.

[Adam Carolla]

Sorry, but I think we're just. The future's just gonna be pure buffet style. Like, we're just gonna put a big table up of Oscars. And you guys, those of you who feel like you turned in a pretty good performance this year, honor system. Well, if you thought you were solid in your role, and we have a supporting actor role and a lead, you know what I mean? Like, if you only had a couple of lines, don't go to the lead actor table. Everybody come up and just help yourself to an Oscar. It'll be kind of sponsored by Golden Corral, you know, and you just come up and get your Oscar again on the merit, you know, on the honor system. First off, you had to be in a movie this year. All right, number one, let's be clear. There are some rules.

[Gina Grad]

Sean Young, get off the stage,

[Adam Carolla]

and then everyone will feel good about themselves and we'll go eat.

[Gina Grad]

That'd be great.

[Brian Bishop]

I hope we're good.

[Adam Carolla]

We don't need a host for that. All right, let me tell you about LifeLock. For all your online shopping, here's some basic cyber safety tips for you guys. Make sure your site's URL starts with HTTPs instead of just the HTTP. And make sure it has the little locked padlock icon to the left of that URL. Don't share your Social Security number or birth date with folks. And check those bank statements for transactions you didn't make. And while you're looking for deals online, cyber criminals will be looking for your personal information. They're lazy. They want to steal from you, and they don't want to leave their house, and they don't want to get bit by your dog. And that's why they're going to steal your info online. So Good thing there's LifeLock identity theft protection. They have the power of Norton Security to protect you against threats to your identity and devices. Right, Dawson? Of course, no one can prevent all identity theft or cybercrime or monitor transactions at all businesses. But no matter the season, LifeLock with Norton Security is the right choice to

[Alex Winter]

help look out for threats you might miss on your own.

[Adam Carolla]

Go to lifelock.com or call 1-800-LIFELOCK and use promo code ADAM for an extra 15% off your first year. That's promo code Adam for an extra 15% [e-mail]. all right. What else do we got?

[Brian Bishop]

Well, I got some sad news, some very sad news. Kathie Lee Gifford is leaving the Today show. The longtime TV personality who's co anchored the fourth hour of TODAY show with Hoda Kotb for more than 10 years said Tuesday morning that she'll leave on April 7. Happens to be the show's 11th anniversary. She added that her plans include several film projects. Hoda Kotb will remain on the show with a new co host who has not been named. Here's a clip of Kathie Lee making her tearful and somewhat awkward announcement.

[Adam Carolla]

Let's get Matt Lauer back into the mix. Everybody taking a year off. It's time. What time? Hold on a second. Otis. Great. Hoda's crying. It's the first time anyone's ever cried because Kathy Lee has left. But are they drinking white wine the entire show? I'm not judging.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, they seem busy sometimes.

[Adam Carolla]

And do they start drinking the white wine at 8:30 in the morning or what time does this show come on? What kind of message is it sending to the gals who are unemployable?

[Gina Grad]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

All right. Here we go.

[Brian Bishop]

I have something to share with everybody and it's bittersweet, as these things always are. But I've been here almost 11 years.

[Adam Carolla]

All information is bittersweet.

[Brian Bishop]

One year something happened along the way, fell in love with a beautiful Egyptian goddess. And now when it's our 11th anniversary, I'm going to be leaving the TODAY show for I know it's an exciting time for me and I'm thrilled about all the projects that are coming up. But it's also hard because the reason I stayed longer than a year is because I love everybody here so much. I've been in this business 120 years and never worked with a more beautiful, more beautiful group of people who just give, give, give every day. Four hours of live television every day, five days a week. And we have fun and we laugh and we support one another and we know each other's kids names and we know when somebody's having a colonoscopy.

[Adam Carolla]

We know everything and we love.

[Brian Bishop]

We do life together. We do life together. And nobody more so than my Hoda. It's going to happen the same way

[Adam Carolla]

it did with regard to, you know,

[Brian Bishop]

when I left Regis, it was hard, but I'm closer to him now than we were after 15 years together. You don't share that kind of life together and not be changed forever by it.

[Brian Regan]

So.

[Adam Carolla]

I love you, Hoda mama. You were Hoda woman.

[Brian Bishop]

When I first, first you were just Hoda, remember?

[Gina Grad]

No, I actually don't.

[Brian Bishop]

You were always Koda to Regis. But you know, you're just so special, Hoda. Thank you. Thank you so much.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. You have to be unemployable to watch this. Nobody employable in a hurry can watch this. The show starts at. Wait a minute, 10am on week. What kind of number should we throwing at me?

[Gina Grad]

10am weekday. Sorry, the, the, the first set that I put up there was from a

[Adam Carolla]

different 5:30 in the morning. These guys are hitting it 10:00am on the East Coast.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah. 10:00am weekdays. Yeah, that's, that's all the weekdays in NBC. So that's, that's what it says on the, their Facebook.

[Adam Carolla]

So it's not knowable to know whether they're drinking 7am or 10am I'll look that up now.

[Gina Grad]

I just, I just let you know that's, that's the information they have now.

[Brian Regan]

So the whole Today show is like four or five hours long. They have like a two hour version and then they.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, yeah.

[Brian Regan]

After them there's another thing.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh no, I think they, they cap it off.

[Brian Regan]

I got it.

[Adam Carolla]

You know, like remember when we watch TV and they'd sign off and they just show the Indian head or the eagle pattern. Shouldn't we just have something from 8am to 2pm that either flashes, get to work or fucking clean something? How about that? Do your dishes. Not have a bunch of people sitting around drinking, vacuum drinking white wine. Maybe that's sending a little bit of a dangerous message. What have I just shown? Showed 14 year old kids sitting around smoking pot all day. Would you let your kids at home and watch that?

[Gina Grad]

Probably not.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, so it's a thing that just flashes. It's only from 8am to 2pm which either says get to work or clean something.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. It's a strong message.

[Brian Regan]

Like a crawler underneath. Yeah, they like the crawlers.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Except for with no programming, this is taking up the whole stream. Full screen crawler. Yeah. All right, so filmed in Manhattan. So they start drinking, they go on the air. What time in Manhattan? Thank you. 10am 10am In Manhattan.

[Brian Regan]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, so that's when they start with the white wine. Now is it Welch's, like white grape juice or something?

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. They pull in a Dean Martin?

[Gina Grad]

No. Do they ever drink it Gina, how dare you?

[Brian Bishop]

You think I have time to stay home and watch the fourth hour?

[Gina Grad]

I have to imagine I'm a career woman who watched the.

[Brian Bishop]

I do not.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it's bad if you watch that show. Okay.

[Brian Bishop]

I wouldn't know what else. Well, Charlie Sheen has marked a big milestone in his life. The actor says he's been sober for one year. He posted a photo of his AA chip on Twitter along with the picture he wrote. So this happened yesterday. A fabulous moment in my renewed journey. Hashtag totally focused.

[Gina Grad]

Do act cocktails count.

[Brian Bishop]

Charlie, who's battled drug and alcohol addiction for years, told Dr. Oz in 2016 that after 11 years sober, he fell off the wagon when he was diagnosed. Diagnosed with HIV in 2012. And his behavior raised suspicions before that. Now, you'll remember, after getting in a very public battle with Two and a Half Men creator Chuck Lorre, he even went on tour and did like a live show about it. He did an interview with ABC News that got many people concerned. You'll remember this. This is a quick clip from that.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, my passion, it's all.

[Brian Bishop]

Your passion is coming off as erratic.

[Alex Winter]

Right.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, you borrow my brain for five

[Alex Winter]

seconds and just be like, dude, can't handle it.

[Adam Carolla]

Unplug this bastard. Yeah.

[Alex Winter]

Because it just, it fires in a way that is, I don't know, maybe

[Adam Carolla]

not from this particular terrestrial realm. Yeah, yeah, he's not tiger blood, but I sort of miss the drug addled version of him.

[Gina Grad]

I think time has proven him right.

[Adam Carolla]

Max, Patty wrote a something on the screen that said, had the word H A E on it.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, have.

[Adam Carolla]

Sorry, I didn't know what that was. They have. They dropped drink.

[Gina Grad]

They do. They, they'll. That is actual wine in front of them. But they, they only take a sip or two during the show. It's mostly a prop. They usually do the wine and maybe have a cocktail as well.

[Adam Carolla]

Still a dangerous message to put out to the sedentary.

[Brian Bishop]

It's brunch. It's grapes.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Brian Regan]

Like the, the old news shows with the. The ashtrays and the cigarettes going all

[Brian Bishop]

during the full Cronkite.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

You know, that's how you knew you could trust him.

[Adam Carolla]

This is funny. It's like you watch some of those old Dick Cavett shows and stuff, and the people are smoking, but they don't have time to smoke because they're talking all the time. So now it's lose loose. It's just like they light a cigarette and they're like, oh, funny story, Dick. Let me tell you about that. So my family and I were going cross country, right? So we rent a van, right? Just holding serious. Because if you really think about the act of smoking, it means, yeah, you can't stop. So anyway, I find that when I go to the restaurant with somebody and at some point, 45 minutes into the meal, I look down and mine is full and theirs is gone. And that means I've been talking the entire time. They've been chewing and nodding, and I've just been rambling the entire time. That is sort of the food equivalent that they light those cigarettes and they don't really get. You never see them smoking because they're talking the whole time.

[Brian Bishop]

The only person who ever worked it out, Andrew Dice Clay, incorporated it into the conversation.

[Adam Carolla]

The guy I miss the most we're talking about on stage is a guy who could smoke the cigarette and literally let it dangle. Just have it move with him while

[Brian Regan]

he's talking, while he's still.

[Adam Carolla]

I like that guy. If he was either talking or wrenching, like underneath a car hood, you know, just like, hey, what can I get close to the proximity of this gasoline? Let's see.

[Brian Bishop]

So long.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. How about a road flare? That's fine, but it's not hanging from my mouth. How about. We'll light up a cigarette and I'll work on this car. Yeah, all right. What else we got? Gina Grant.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, ABC News reports that Delta Airlines is further tightening its policy on service animals, or what my mom calls sympathy dogs and emotional support pets, by announcing a ban on puppies and other animals under four months old. So the change, it's going to go into effect next Tuesday.

[Adam Carolla]

Isn't it also a length thing?

[Brian Bishop]

Yes. It also bans support animals on flights longer than eight hours. The airline cites a sharp increase in animal related incidents on flights over the past couple years, including urination, defecation, biting, and all kinds of stuff.

[Adam Carolla]

Who could have ever seen this coming?

[Brian Bishop]

Nobody. Absolutely nobody. Delta previously announced a ban on pit bulls.

[Adam Carolla]

Max a Patty. You gotta find me screaming about this 15 years ago or 12 years ago or whatever. It's like the worst idea fucking ever. Because we used to live in a society that would play by the rules. And you could just put the. Put the plastic pumpkin out front, fill it full of mini Abba Zabba bars and Skittles and whatnot and say please, limit to one candy. Young Halloween goers, we're out of town, so just grab the one. Now we live in a society where the thing gets capsized into the person's pillowcase and then they defecate into the fucking thing. And then later on the next person who comes along and sees that the first kid comes defecated into the plastic Jack o' lantern sues the homeowner. And then the lawyer says just settle on. It's just gonna be so much easier. You don't want all the bad publicity. That's the society we've crafted so we can no longer say, well you can fly with your dog, but only if you really need it. That will not work. That's over because we're destroyed as a society.

[Brian Regan]

Is there a medical who gets to say it's a support animal? Can a person say this is my support animal or do they have to have an official documentation?

[Brian Bishop]

Now several airlines are saying we need triplicate. I mean we can't. You can't just download it online.

[Adam Carolla]

Which nothing you get online from a doctor. Right, right. Like hey, I'd like to smoke pot 24 7. Okay, let me just fill out this quick thing and I'll give you a bushel a week. Your printer.

[Brian Regan]

Next thing you know you're smoking pot.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know how much can get done with a doctor without ever seeing the doctor. Yeah, the doctor is on one of the Cayman Islands or something with some offshore whatever. Like not the same. No. All right, sad. But now we have to make rules because people can't do it. And we will keep making rules and they will keep going because we have to walk this back because all the self absorbed nut jobs are going to town.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, and call me naive, but the one thing I thought that pet owners, the ones that want their pets on the plane as bad as anything, the one thing, thing I thought they would never do is put their animal on an eight hour flight. That just seems completely abusive.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, they're insanely narcissistic and that's the new world order. All right, let me tell you about stamps.comholidays. busiest time of the year, especially at the post office. Save time during this hectic holiday rush. You go with stamps.com youm can buy and print official US postage for any letter, any package with your computer or print printer. Then the mail carrier just picks it on up. Just click print mail and you are done. We use it here, we use it for everything here. And right now we got a special offer. We have a four week trial plus postage and digital scale without long term commitments. So what do you do? You do what we do. Go to stamps.com before you do anything else. You click the microphone, top of the homepage and Type. Type in Adam. We've been using these guys for years. You do everything else online these days. Why not handle all your postage and do it with stamps.com. remember stamps.com. and you enter Adam. All right, Gene, let's do one more.

[Brian Bishop]

Alright. Well, iheart.com reports that two nuns who worked at a Catholic high school in California have been accused of embezzling over a half a million dollars and using that money to travel to Vegas. Vegas to gamble. Sister Mary Margaret Cooper spent 29 years as the principal at St James School while Sister Lana Chang was an eighth grade teacher before becoming the school's vice principal. The nun's illicit activities were discovered during a routine financial audit conducted after they retired.

[Adam Carolla]

Is none one of those gigs where you just go. Like when you hear about someone being a nun, you go, oh, good for you. And then you go, I fucking feel sorry for you. Like at the same. Like in the sign. My simultaneous thought is good for you. I feel sorry for you. I don't feel that way about airplane pilots. I don't feel that way about tax attorneys. Like, it's one of my. Good for you. I feel sorry for you. Like, what happened? How come this didn't work? What's going on?

[Gina Grad]

Very noble. Boy, do I feel bad they're not wearing their habits.

[Brian Regan]

Their nun stuff.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, their nuns.

[Brian Regan]

The nun gear.

[Adam Carolla]

You know, in the world of highfalutin high flying sitcoms. The Flying Nun.

[Brian Regan]

The Flying Nun.

[Adam Carolla]

The Flying Nun. In terms of concept,

[Brian Regan]

that was a

[Adam Carolla]

weird pitch she's on.

[Brian Bishop]

We don't have anything like that on her.

[Adam Carolla]

She's in a convent. She's in a convent like Puerto Rico or something. And here's the pitch. She put too much starch in her habit and it made like a canary. Like that's on the front of a super jet. Like a weird aileron and like weird canards. They call, like, so she put too much. And so when the wind would kick up, she would get airborne.

[Brian Bishop]

That's what made her fly.

[Adam Carolla]

That's what made her fly.

[Gina Grad]

But it's just good signs based on true story.

[Adam Carolla]

The thing that's. But the thing that's crazy about it is like, all right, but how does that help? Like someone's like, oh man, I to want. It's great. We got a nun on the ground, but the nun were 40ft in the air. Then our problems would be solved. Like, I was looking at her knickers right now. We would not have a situation.

[Brian Bishop]

Does she fight crime?

[Adam Carolla]

The best part about the Flying Nun is how she would lift off or there's a couple conceits. You can find it, Max. The best part is a wind would kick up and she'd be like, oh, here we go. Like, she would start going into the air because she had too much starch in her habit and they made these canards. But once she got going, she didn't have to hang on to her habit. And once she got up to like 80 knots and she was just skimming the surf line, she no longer had to hang on to the habit. It made sense. She had to hang on to it on lift. She took off like a harrier and then took off.

[Gina Grad]

It was on so tight it was able to support the weight of a human being.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, here's my whole thing. Go ahead and make a nun who can fly, but let's not get aerodynamics and science behind it. Oh, she put so much so created lift over the top of the wing edge, the trailing edge, which created downforce.

[Alex Winter]

Like.

[Adam Carolla]

No, she's just flying.

[Gina Grad]

Here's something. The power of God.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. A miracle.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, There you go. It's not gonna surprise you. I've never seen a moment of this show me either. The idea that she would go to other places and do none things.

[Brian Bishop]

What does she do? Preach the good.

[Adam Carolla]

You read me? The slugline. I swear to God, she was in like Puerto Rico or on some island. Some problem is. Well, mother superior was always pissed off and she was always in the doghouse because she was young, cool nun. Then there would be some problem at the orphanage or something. And at some point they'd be like, if only we could get this mosquito repellent to the orphanage. But the roads are all washed out. Like an, oh, wind has kicked in. And then there was weird. There's a weird part which. There's a sexual energy weird part. Yes, there was. Carlos was the bachelor. And Carlos was this swinging dude who like bedded all the ladies. And she was like, you got to give us money because we gotta. We got lepers and stuff. And he's like, I'm basically Matt Helm banging chicks on a sectional, you know, and he was this good looking bachelor dude, but they kind of had a little sexual energy, but they wanted money out of him. And he was always using his money, buying booze and plane tickets for his ladies and stuff like that. But he had a heart of gold at the same time. Where did this flying nun, where did this take place? Was it made up like. Peridor Parador?

[Gina Grad]

Chicago native Elsie arrives in San Juan from New York City.

[Adam Carolla]

There you go, all right, so she's in Puerto Rico.

[Brian Regan]

She's in Puerto Rico.

[Adam Carolla]

She's in Puerto Rico. Okay. And she's at a nunnery or convent or something. And she's there to take care of, like, the poor people of Puerto Rico. And then Carlos, the swinging bachelor's hanging around too, because, you know, when you're swinging bachelor, you hang around the nunnery a lot. Like. Right. Go by the convent a lot.

[Gina Grad]

Territory.

[Adam Carolla]

You just gotta get footage of a wind kicking up and her just going up, up into the air. And then later on, she'd just be sailing over the seas.

[Brian Bishop]

Was this before or after Gidget?

[Adam Carolla]

It was after.

[Brian Bishop]

Okay.

[Brian Regan]

Was she Gidget?

[Brian Bishop]

Wasn't she?

[Brian Regan]

Yes, I think she was Gidget as well.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I think she was Gidget. And then she became around forever the flying nun. And then she became Norma Ray.

[Brian Bishop]

Right.

[Adam Carolla]

So she's got a little range.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

In terms of acting jobs.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah. She could be relied upon to solve any problem that came her way by her ability to catch a passing breeze and fly high. Any problem.

[Brian Bishop]

Fantastic five general.

[Gina Grad]

Generally tribute to her weighing under 90 pounds. High winds at the convent, high on the ocean bluffs. And the large, heavily starched cornet that was the headpiece for her habit.

[Brian Regan]

Hey, hey, hey. There's a pothole on the major highway in Puerto Rico. I want to see how her flying ability is going to solve that.

[Adam Carolla]

The orphanage is stricken with malaria. Hold on. Wait for a wind to kick in.

[Brian Bishop]

Get the palm frs going.

[Brian Regan]

Wait till I get 30ft in the air.

[Adam Carolla]

We're going to show her going. You ever going up in the air? It's really an insane pitch.

[Brian Regan]

Yeah, yeah. I. It. I think about somebody did have to sit down and throw that out there and. And somebody greenlighted it.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Let's watch.

[Brian Regan]

Which was actually kind of.

[Adam Carolla]

Hey, you guys. A saintliness is leaving. She'd have to hang on to it at the beginning, but then later on she would just take off.

[Gina Grad]

She was airborne.

[Brian Bishop]

Up, up and away.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay, I got one about a burrowing priest. He's a priest who tunnels like a sandhog.

[Brian Regan]

How are we gonna get under this wall?

[Gina Grad]

Put that last frame up again. You know, the wind was blowing the opposite direction as he was flying.

[Brian Regan]

Look at the wind.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, my God. That's amazing. You know nothing about commercial aviation, my friend. When you land, you always head into the wind. Flaps down. This is why lax, you rarely go over the ocean. It's always coming the other way. It's offshore breeze. Come on, Brian. This is realistic. We make fun here, but we keep it accurate. We keep it fair.

[Brian Bishop]

Yes, you must feel very stupid.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, let's bring it home.

[Brian Bishop]

You got it. I'm Gina Grad, and that's the news.

[Adam Carolla]

Gina. That was the news with the Gina Grad. Ah. Last but not least, Castrol Edge. Heat, friction, viscosity breakdown. Man, they rob your engine of performance up to 10%. Castrol Edge, engineered with fluid titanium technology, physically transforms to get stronger under pressure. Helps fight friction, deliver maximum levels of performance from your engine. Three times. Three times, fool. Stronger against viscosity breakdown than leading oils. Castrol Edge unlocked the true performance in your car's engine today. All right, we got some good sports with me and Sheck coming up. You can check out some cool [e-mail] if you like. We got hats and whatnot. Brian Regan, Stand up and away with the Flying Nut and or Brian Regan streaming on Netflix Christmas Eve. Seinfeld's producing. Cesario's in there as well. Ed Ryder. How. How can you go wrong? And of course, all the Netflix specials. Just the best. And you can watch them with your kids.

[Brian Regan]

Yes, thank you. One other thing. I'm in a show called Louder Milk, which is on DirecTV's Audience Network. It's a dark comedy. The Farrelly brothers are involved. It's about substance abuse. And so I wanted to make sure

[Adam Carolla]

I got in there and get tickets for all his live [e-mail] as well. Until next time, Sam Kroll for RJ Bell. Brian Ringgan, Gina Grandball, Brian, Sarah and Mahala.

[Brian Regan]

I don't know things.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, that was adam K Show 2473 with the great Brian Regan.

[Brian Regan]

That is it for today's episode. Make sure to tune tomorrow for an all new installment.

[Gina Grad]

Until then, holl and get it on.

[Adam Carolla]

Sam.