
#1 ACS #1575 (feat. Alex Winter, Matt Atchity, Gina Grad and Bryan Bishop) (2015) #2 ACS #1584 (feat. Natasha Leggero, Gina Grad and Bryan Bishop) (2015) #3 ACS #2148 (feat. Lisa Lillien, Gina Grad and Bryan Bishop) (2017) Hosted by...
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Adam Carolla
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Gina Grad
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Adam Carolla
Why wait?
Gina Grad
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Natasha Leggero
Welcome to Corolla Classics. I'm your host, superfan Giovanni.
Adam Carolla
This is a podcast where we play the best moments, highlights and fans like a clips from all 15 years of.
Natasha Leggero
The Adam Carolla Show. We have a companion podcast titled Crolla Classics with the ad free archives exclusively.
Adam Carolla
Available through Adam Carolla's substack along with a brand new show, Beat it Out.
Natasha Leggero
Featuring Adam and J. Moore. If you'd like to request a clip.
Adam Carolla
Please email us Classics.
Natasha Leggero
Now onto the clips. Come on Thursday we have Adam Carlo Show 1575 with Alex Winter, Matt Atchity, Gina Grad, Brian Bishop 2015.
Adam Carolla
Good day Gina Grad. Good day to you man in bald.
Gina Grad
Ryan Dem booty shots that Jacob Shaver.
Natasha Leggero
Wanted that hashtag top drop.
Adam Carolla
Matt Atchuty's here. We're going to play the Rotten Tomatoes game. Very excited. I'm excited too. I love that game. Let's see. Bill and Ted. I've never seen it. What? I know, I'm not. You're missing out. I wait.
Gina Grad
The excellent adventure or the bogus journey?
Adam Carolla
No. And the other one I haven't seen is Harold and Kumar.
Natasha Leggero
Both good movies.
Adam Carolla
I know. But now question is, which is better? Because they're both kind of of the same.
Natasha Leggero
Bill and Ted. The better movie.
Gina Grad
Bill and Ted the first Bill and Ted.
Natasha Leggero
Helen Carr. Good. But Bill and Ted better. Yeah.
Adam Carolla
Now new classic. Is it better? Because there's certainly nostalgia. Fucking no it's not. And I don't want to. Nostalgia is sort of insulting. Nostalgia is like you're Beating off to an old girlfriend. This is.
Natasha Leggero
Oh, nostalgia.
Adam Carolla
This has caught you at the right time. Like for a young male, 15 years old, 14, 15, 16, you see a comedy that's right about that time. It can really get into your muscle fiber. And I'm not saying it's a bad thing. I'm just saying if they catch you to write. Whereas if you were 31 and saw it, it may never penetrate. You know what I'm saying? I think that Bill and Ted's holds up really well. The second one does, too. But the first one really is a great movie. And partly because they take what is basically a really ridiculous idea like give a couple of stoners a time machine and go all the way with it. They don't. They don't. Half asset.
Natasha Leggero
That's a smart, dumb movie.
Gina Grad
That's what I was. Completely commit to it. And it makes it like a great comedy adventure.
Adam Carolla
I'm going to watch it expertly plotted, too.
Natasha Leggero
Like you expect me like that have loose ends, just kind of silly. But it's like. No, it all makes sense. It's well written.
Adam Carolla
And it does not just lurching from joke to joke to joke. It's. It's got a tight narrative. I mean, it's a tight little movie and really fun and really funny.
Natasha Leggero
And I think your kids would enjoy it.
Adam Carolla
Good, too.
Brian Bishop
They still kind of stand up today. I mean, they're talking about Abraham.
Adam Carolla
But don't show the kids Harold and Kumar yet.
Natasha Leggero
That's an adult.
Adam Carolla
Well, now we need the Rotten Tomatoes score on both.
Natasha Leggero
I'll bet both are, I would guess, lower than you'd expect because they're both dumb, kind of stoner.
Adam Carolla
Ish.
Natasha Leggero
Teenage movies that were actually way better and smarter than they probably should have been.
Gina Grad
I could be wildly optimistic here, but I'd like to think that Bill and Ted were appreciated when it came out.
Adam Carolla
79 with Bill and Ted and 74 with Excellent. Let's see what. Let's see what? The audience.
Natasha Leggero
These are modern comedy classics.
Adam Carolla
All right. Certainly.
Natasha Leggero
Bill and Ted and George Carlin.
Gina Grad
Come on.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Natasha Leggero
George carlin, Rufus.
Adam Carolla
Yep. 80 on the Harold and Kumar with the audience a little bit higher, but right about there.
Natasha Leggero
Sounds about right.
Adam Carolla
Yep. And Bill and Ted, 75.
Gina Grad
Wow.
Adam Carolla
So it's almost kind of a statistical tie if you take the audience and the thing. All right, so hence a brilliant question posed by moi.
Natasha Leggero
Well done.
Adam Carolla
Thank you. Thank you. Someone must recognize me. And sometimes I'm the only one. All right, so thank you guys in advance for coming out. And we'll see you at Indy and then we'll see you at Caroline's in New York. Doing a show on the Paul Newman doc over there as well on the 28th. Live shows all around New York and London, Vegas and pre orders for Daddy. Stop talking. The book, it's got my kids on the COVID You can get that click through on the Amazon link, if you would. And it's good. As we talked about yesterday, it's for me when people ask about, hey, did you ever think this or did you ever imagine that? No, I never imagined that or thought this. But when you really want to know, like, mind blown. Three books on the New York Times best seller list for me, it's crazy. Doing a reality show busting bad contractors does not surprise me. In the wheelhouse for me. And telling fart jokes on the potocast and things like that. Not that blown away by you are.
Natasha Leggero
Most likely to tell fart jokes on the podcast.
Adam Carolla
That's right. Senior year, the New York Times bestseller list. No.
Natasha Leggero
We're all shocked.
Adam Carolla
That is a nice one. Yeah. And this will be a four.
Natasha Leggero
Pete, did the kids ask for a royalty or an appearance fee for the.
Gina Grad
COVID They get food and lodging for the next few years.
Adam Carolla
They want.
Natasha Leggero
Sonny wants royalties off the drop, so I can imagine.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, no, off the ringtone. Yeah, he wants. What's he got? Just a waste of my time. I was expecting. It's just a waste of my time. Yeah. Claims I owe him for that. No, actually, as I said, or have said many times, it's so much better to be a chick in this business. Or at least be gay. Or at least not be wired like me, which is every day, every time you do a show, every time you do a shoot, every time, you know, book cover show, any. Any. Anything in this business. It's like, well, we gotta do a fitting. And I'm like, 34. 34. No, no, we need a fitting. I just get some jeans. No, no, we need a fitting. Like somebody now. If you're wired like Natalia, this is awesome.
Gina Grad
Princess for a day.
Adam Carolla
You get to go to this place, they have a bunch of stuff laid out. A nice lady and she's putting makeup on and the other one's doing your hair. And it's. Oh, it's cool, it's fun, it's exciting. Son. Miserable, not moving the needle. Just a waste of his time. And he's a real chip off the fucking old block. Because everywhere I'm wearing makeup right now, I have hair shit in right now. And I just got done getting out of the wardrobe changes, back and forth for, you know, reveal day and construction day, and it's all one big fat fucking waste of time for me. Like, I couldn't be more miserable. I can't stand it.
Gina Grad
Does it make it worse that neither on the front or the back of the book. Can anyone see your jeans?
Adam Carolla
There's a lot of. I'm so weird with it that I will. I am wearing the jeans they make me wear when I do the show. I will then wear them tomorrow when I do the show from my house. I'm not going to change at the thing. So show business in general, if you're a chick, wired like most chicks, it's fun. Like you get to pick out dresses and you have fittings and you go shopping. I've done shows where it's like, oh, we have a buyer and we have this chick and we're going to Barney's of New York and we're going to walk up and down the aisle and we're going to pick. And I'm like, oh, fuck, what day can I send my assistant? I don't want to go.
Natasha Leggero
He's about the same size as me.
Brian Bishop
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
So point is this cool if you're a chick or a dude who's into that stuff or just some dudes I know. Misery if you're me or Sonny. You know, Adam, a lot of people have stunt doubles and you need like a wardrobe double. You need a guy that's your size. Yeah, right. Yeah, that guy sounds hot. Yeah, Norm MacDonald.
Natasha Leggero
Norm could do it.
Adam Carolla
That get him out of his apartment.
Gina Grad
By the way, the kids are either really good actors or they look genuinely exasperated on the COVID That.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, thanks. We Photoshop. We're pretty amalgam to several takes. They're both pretty good, actually. Natural performance, I must say. I've had them do again. We've had many a stand up session in the kitchen where they hold the wooden spoon and I feed them material and then they stand in front of mommy, deal with the crowd work. All right, so that is coming out on the 26th. Yeah. Okay, so pre order it and it'll show up. As Brian says, sometimes before the pre.
Natasha Leggero
Order, I had several tweets from people like, dude, got your book today. And it was like Monday, the day before the book came out. So that happens.
Adam Carolla
We'll play the game in one second. Well, throw out the theme just for fun, Matt. Well, I don't want to give anyone a chance to research.
Gina Grad
Everyone turn your phones off.
Natasha Leggero
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
All right, so the theme you Talk.
Natasha Leggero
About me, you son of a bitch. I'm the only computer in front of me.
Adam Carolla
I don't want Brian to have a chance to do research. There will be no research. It will be related to the release of the fourth Mad Max movie. Okay, so first was Mad Max, then we had Road Warrior and then Thunderdome. So for me, the first one, not very good.
Natasha Leggero
No.
Adam Carolla
Even though it seemed really cool. But then I saw it and I was like, this is not good.
Natasha Leggero
Well, stand the test of time.
Adam Carolla
It didn't stand the test of actual day and date when I saw it, I think second one, real good.
Natasha Leggero
Excellent.
Adam Carolla
And then the third one just got fucked out 80s out.
Gina Grad
You didn't like two men enter, one man leave.
Natasha Leggero
I didn't see it.
Adam Carolla
Two men enter, one man leave.
Gina Grad
Tina Turner.
Adam Carolla
Tina Turner. Kind of everything got bad in the later 80s and I think that was music and everything. And that just sort of took it with. But the second one, if you can get behind the super strong homoerotic overtones.
Natasha Leggero
Super strong is putting it lightly.
Adam Carolla
Well, not since Beastmaster has my cock moves so much in the theater. True Beastmaster. I still may be the pantheon of the leather sleestax guys. The guys wearing the knee high leather boots and the banana hammocks just running with the gimp ball in that.
Brian Bishop
The most homoerotic villain of all time.
Adam Carolla
Kodo and photo. Well, Kodo and Podo guy go right up your ass. Kodo and Podo. But that it was his. It was the guys who didn't talk. Kodo and Podo. I mean it's. I imagine, you know, those like ministers and priests who get up on the pulpit and do the fire and brimstone about gay and going to hell and any man who lays down with another man. I think they have dreams at night that loosely resemble running through a castle being chased by guys bound in leather with big cocks. I think that's what they secretly. When they close their eyes or they have more than three beers. That's right. No, I, I think that's what they think. I think that's. I think they protest too much. Kodo and photo. It is, it is their version of hell. But I do think the guys that are really like, make a big deal out of like, you know, the thing about gays, like, who gives a shit? But when you make a huge fucking deal out of it, I think when they close their eyes, that's what they dream about. Well, yes. All those guys that like in, in the legislature, right, that are trying to.
Natasha Leggero
Pass all so you know there's a shit going on.
Adam Carolla
It's like, oh, well, all right.
Natasha Leggero
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
All right.
Gina Grad
I didn't see Beastmaster. Did Kodo and Podo have anything to do with ferrets by chance? Okay. Because I just Googled those words. Okay. Thank you.
Adam Carolla
Mm. And they took a line, and they spray painted. You don't like the first Mad Max movie?
Natasha Leggero
Terrible.
Adam Carolla
Terrible. Sorry, I'm with Brian Scarves.
Natasha Leggero
And you can skip it all together. They wrap up the entirety of the plot in the first film. 45 seconds of the second movie.
Adam Carolla
The first one. Look, I love hot rods. I love the outback. You know, I wanted to like it. I wanted to like it. Yeah. I need a. I need a group shot, Gary. But I really wanted to like it, but I. And I. And I give it credit for a.
Natasha Leggero
Genre, and the independent, it probably costs, what, $500,000? I mean, it was an independent movie, right?
Adam Carolla
And it had a couple scenes, but I find myself sort of just bored.
Natasha Leggero
Yes. Yes.
Adam Carolla
Well, look, when Brian and I agree on a movie. Sorry, Matt. When we agree on a movie. Kodo and podo. All right. Stamps.com. oh, man. All trying to get things done right. Like, Nick over here. Hey, Nick, how we doing? What's going on, man? Tell us your story. Involved in a Mac. Get it on. Yeah. Buy and print official U.S. postage. Right. On your own computer and printer. How? Use stamps.com, right? Yeah. Work for a brand of mixed martial arts and fitness equipment, Meister MMA. We ship like 300, 350 packages a day and use stamps dot com. You can batch them all together, import all the addresses, and just select the weights. Ship those 350 packages and under two hours. Well, whether. I bet you places that ship MMA equipment get robbed less than places that make cupcakes, I would imagine, or like dog groomers.
Natasha Leggero
Dog treats.
Adam Carolla
A couple rough lesbians in there, but I think we can handle them. Yeah.
Natasha Leggero
Worst case scenario will be okay, right?
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Thanks, Nick. I appreciate the testimonial. Stamps.com. so, if you're big business, good. If you're medium business, good. If you're you, good. Either way, let's not get lost in the post office. Sort of sounds like a song. Kodo and Podo. Kodo and Podo. Special offer. Use my name and no risk trial. $110 bonus. Offer includes a digital scale. 55 bucks free post@stamps.com. enter Adam. That's stamps.com. enter Adam. All right, Matt. Should we play the game? Absolutely. Let's. Here's the guy with the fresh and rotten movie game now it's time. I really hope it isn't lame. Please, let's go. I totally can hear this note. I can't foresee anymore. Hey anymore it hurts my balls Hurts my balls at Jeanine he names a flick and the gang makes flicks mad at your dichotomy guy and when he drops by the king has to gas.
Natasha Leggero
To the critic Scorch, faded, rotten or.
Adam Carolla
Fresh actionee Been sitting a while. Maybe it's time to go for a quick walk around the block. Walk, skip, sprint, sachet, whatever gets you up and moving.
Matt Atchity
A little exercise can make a big difference.
Adam Carolla
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Gina Grad
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Adam Carolla
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Gina Grad
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Adam Carolla
All right, so this week we're going to go with movies that are the fourth entry in a particular franchise. Oh. So first up, 1983 film, after a Little Bit of a Break sees Clint Eastwood return to form as Dirty Harry in the movie that gave us the line, go ahead, make my day. The movie is Sudden Impact. Mmm. Mmm. I don't know. Force never do too good, do they? I can't remember if that was just one of those movies where everyone just parodied or actually liked. It's a little different bar set back then. I'm gonna say I haven't seen it. I've probably seen I can't remember. This was the one with Sandra Locke where he's investigating the Murders. And it turns out she's killing the.
Brian Bishop
People that had raped her.
Adam Carolla
And Sandra Locker, as close to clear as a human being can get. Like, you show me a color.
Natasha Leggero
She's translucent.
Adam Carolla
Of Sandra locke at, like, 30, and I'll show you, like, someone who's essentially clear. He married a clear person. He married Saran Wrath. I don't think the critics loved it. I don't think they hate it. I can't remember where Clint Eastwood was back then, but I'm gonna say 57%.
Natasha Leggero
I said 70. Had a wild guess.
Adam Carolla
I said 55, 56. Oh, you're right.
Gina Grad
She is translucent.
Adam Carolla
She is. She is clear.
Natasha Leggero
Hurts a lot.
Adam Carolla
She's a clear person. She's going clear.
Gina Grad
And look. And the scores are basically the same.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. 56, 54. Audience 1 Good line in that movie. Literally that line. That line, yeah. There's the first. I don't know. It's the first one where he's like, did I fire five bullets or six, punk? I can't. There's a part that's semi racist where the black guy goes, I gots to know. I don't know why I had to pluralize got. But he gots to know. Like, it was real. Like one of those.
Natasha Leggero
He got to know.
Adam Carolla
He was coached up to say, I gots to know. And I was like. I always remember being pretty young, going uncomfortable. Could have just said, I gotta know. Let me inquire. All right, so a funny scene, but go ahead. All right, next up, 1985 film directed by the star Sylvester Stallone, sees Rocky take on a Russian boxer. The movie is Rocky 4. God, it was great. Now, this is one of those movies that it was exactly what it said and then. And then some. And I'm gonna be angry that the critics were too low on it because it is a. Basically, it's a store that says ice cream in front of it. And you go in and get ice cream. And the critic can't go in and go, oh, just ice cream. It's as ice cream. That's what this movie said. It delivered what it said on the big sign out in front.
Gina Grad
I have a feeling whatever the score is, the audience score is going to be higher.
Adam Carolla
That much you can probably count on.
Gina Grad
Because the critics aren't going to appreciate Ivan Drago like they should.
Adam Carolla
No, but I think. Don't you guys think there's something to creating that guy? You know, first finding him, like, you gotta go find that guy, you know, and then casting him and sort of creating. I mean, it's a comic book character, but still.
Natasha Leggero
Yeah, it's like Jaws from James Bond.
Adam Carolla
I think part of the problem is that Rocky, at this point, this is when he descends into being a comic book character because the first movie is a robot. The second one is also really good. Those first two Rocky movies are great. And the first one's pretty much perfect. This one extra perfect. I think this is the one where people are remembering like, no, it's a. It's a. It's. It look. He. I've never thought about this, but Rocky and Rambo both went down the same 80s highway, which is the. You know, First Blood was just a good, solid movie. I mean, you know, guys walking through town, shitty sheriff, you know, and all that kind of stuff. Hops on a motorcycle up in the woods, you know, I mean, good, solid, love me some mountain man shit where the guy gets hit with the punji sticks or whatever and it comes swinging down from the tree or whatever.
Natasha Leggero
Good stunts, good cat and mouse thriller type movie.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, it's good, good fun stuff. Good stuff. When the Richard Krennic comes in there and tells me Colonel Trauma needs a lot of body bags and all kinds of. And then it goes into, you know, shaved chest, creatine, oiled up, slow motion, you know, crazy. They both. But they both started off as sort of gritty, normal. Hey, we got something here. And then just spun off into some. And again, blame the 80s. Like, they just. They took everything. They took music, they took architecture, they took art, they took film and they just fucked everything up. It might be cocaine. I know cocaine. I don't know.
Natasha Leggero
It's gotta be it.
Adam Carolla
So. But for those of you who have not seen the first Rambo, you know, First Blood. Go check it out. Go check it out. Well, the other thing is, you watch that first Rambo and he's so thin.
Natasha Leggero
In that it's not what you expect.
Adam Carolla
I mean, he's cut and he's built. But Stallone is so much smaller than we're used to seeing him now. Well, I think in that movie it's like this guy is a drifter Vietnam vet who's just walking America's highways. He's not supposed to look like he just left the gym and the hometown buffet.
Natasha Leggero
He's not.
Adam Carolla
Midseason form point after that, he just went, oh, fuck it. Okay, let's see Rocky 4. I'm going to say that the critics gave it. Brian, this is going to be tough.
Natasha Leggero
And I'm already down 14 points.
Adam Carolla
Critics gave it a 46. 46.
Natasha Leggero
I may be too high again. I said 60.
Gina Grad
I said 63.
Adam Carolla
39.
Gina Grad
God damn it. I really love this movie.
Brian Bishop
This is.
Adam Carolla
38. That doesn't seem fair. 80%, by the way, I have never.
Gina Grad
Had a human being look at me with such disgust as Matt actually just did when I gave my score.
Adam Carolla
Well, I was so hopeful after that first one. It is what it is. It's 80%. Yeah. I'm crowd pleasing, I guess. My question is the Russian crowd chants Rocky. Is there anybody, Anybody who bought a ticket to that, saw it in the theater and walked out, went, wow. Not what I expected.
Natasha Leggero
Apparently, 26 critics felt that way.
Adam Carolla
All right, all right. I think I'm in the lead here. Next up, 1987 comedy epic, Police Academy 4. Oh, citizens on Patrol. That's a cop.
Gina Grad
A true classic.
Adam Carolla
Oh, Citizens On Patrol.
Natasha Leggero
That's the cop program.
Adam Carolla
Oh, I did not know. Tim Kazarinsky, Bobcat Goldthwait.
Gina Grad
Love this movie.
Adam Carolla
Sharon Stone is in this. Oh.
Natasha Leggero
This movie may have been seen multiple times by a young baldy Brian.
Adam Carolla
I am multiple. Going to say 19%.
Natasha Leggero
I said 10, and I'll bet you anything I'm high.
Gina Grad
16.
Adam Carolla
Zero. Oh. Told you.
Gina Grad
Wait, what did you say, Brian?
Natasha Leggero
10.
Adam Carolla
Wow.
Natasha Leggero
It's pretty bad. It's pretty awful.
Gina Grad
That's the first time I've ever been here and seen a zero.
Adam Carolla
Oh, yeah, there's a couple out there.
Natasha Leggero
Is it the one with the young David Spade?
Adam Carolla
I think so. Yes, it is. Yes. I know that because I was looking up the cast list.
Natasha Leggero
Okay.
Gina Grad
Steve Guttenberg was a sexy man.
Adam Carolla
Was.
Natasha Leggero
Was.
Adam Carolla
The critics consensus is utterly, completely, thoroughly and astonishingly unfunny.
Natasha Leggero
Come on.
Adam Carolla
Wow. We get it. All right, well, Brian's. Everyone's back in now.
Gina Grad
Damn it.
Adam Carolla
All right, next up, the last movie in this beloved franchise. Mel Gibson, Danny Glover, Joe Pesci, Chris Rock, Jet li, Lethal Weapon 4. Now, Pesci was in 3 and 4. He was in 2, 3 and 4. Oh, 2, 3 and 4. Okay, I can't even remember this one anymore. He was the accountant for the South Africans in the second movie.
Natasha Leggero
Leo Getz.
Adam Carolla
Leo Getz. Whatever you need, Leo gets. I love the I do. There was an era when we were like, we can't have Nazis. That's bygone. Japanese Nana. We're cool with them. Terrorists not really getting any traction. Not going. We'll go South African. Like evil South. Apartheid. Good enough. Yeah, but no one's going to complain.
Gina Grad
You know, I wasn't really into the Lethal Weapon franchise as a young girl, but people love the first movie, right?
Natasha Leggero
First movie is a great movie.
Adam Carolla
First movie is a great one. Second one is really solid as well.
Natasha Leggero
Sequel not as good.
Adam Carolla
Third one, kind of a mess. Got a lot of laughs with Pesci, I think. In two, right? Or is that three or whatever?
Natasha Leggero
Three and four, right?
Adam Carolla
He was in two, three and four. He's in two, three and four. But he gets most laughs into this one is the one that. It's about human trafficking of Chinese immigrants. And Jet Li is running one of the tongs and.
Brian Bishop
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
All right, 37%.
Natasha Leggero
I said 30.
Gina Grad
29.
Adam Carolla
52.
Natasha Leggero
Oh, I did not see that coming.
Adam Carolla
52%. Very well. Not very. But kinder than we thought. All right, I think Ace man just picked up a couple of points there. Now we head into the championship.
Natasha Leggero
Pretty close.
Adam Carolla
All right, last one. This one sees Bruce Willis rec. Taking over the role. Or not taking over, but returning to the role. Reprising figure. Returning to the role of Bruce.
Natasha Leggero
John McClane.
Adam Carolla
Thank you. Live Free or Die Hard. Oh, is that where they're taking out the grid? Yes.
Natasha Leggero
Timothy Oliphant.
Adam Carolla
Timothy Oliphant. Justin Long, Kevin Smith. This movie was one of those movies that drives me nuts, which is this. I will accept that you can have prolonged shootouts where the cops never show up, or you can do ones where they do show up and you have to outrun them. But you can't have ones where they show up sometimes and then don't show up other times. Like, there was never. There was like, we gotta get to the grid. We gotta get to this. We gotta get to San Onofre to blow this place up or whatever. There was nobody else on the planet in this movie but Justin Long.
Natasha Leggero
And every character is a device of the plot.
Gina Grad
Tell us what year this came out. Like, two years ago.
Adam Carolla
Three years ago? No, 2007.
Gina Grad
Oh, wow.
Adam Carolla
But there was, like. It was not the one where they went to Russia just a couple years ago.
Gina Grad
Thank you. Okay.
Adam Carolla
That one is particularly bad. It was just like Bruce Willis and Long just, like, driving through empty highways going, well, we're gonna solve this problem. And it's like, well, what about the military? What about the government? What about the cops? What about anybody? Also that movie, you know, I say the number one characteristic for any action figure is grip. That movie had some of the grip like movies where, like, being thrown through windshields, going down elevator shafts, and you see him hang on with one hand on the bumper. It's like, nobody.
Natasha Leggero
This is where John McClane went from. What made him great. The average Guy in an impossible situation to superhero. Fucking superhero dodging cars.
Adam Carolla
Nobody realizes that. The best part about this, the character, or any of these characters is vulnerability. Yeah.
Natasha Leggero
Walking across the glass barefoot, right.
Adam Carolla
Going, ah. When he's going down elevator shafts and there's fire shooting up and he's dusting himself off, then you go, oh, now he can't be her superhero. Right? Okay. This thing was. What happened with Justin Long. And why did we think that was a good idea?
Natasha Leggero
Just the idea. Justin Long.
Adam Carolla
Just the idea. I mean, to be that guy, you know?
Natasha Leggero
Just the idea. I was like, I don't know, man. I was not on board.
Adam Carolla
This was Drew Barrymore. I mean, it was like. There was like, a lot. There was like.
Natasha Leggero
It was that. It was the Apple version, Mac versus PC.
Adam Carolla
But there's like 14 months where, like, leading man Justin Long and, like, I sort of looked around and went, no denial, right? But everyone went, yep, yep, he's our guy. And it's like, no side, you know, friend of the friend. Funny guy, quirky guy. Like doing him and Shia LaBeouf. Yeah.
Natasha Leggero
If you want a Bloom syndrome. If you watch, everyone gets their chance.
Adam Carolla
I think it's the breakup. I think it's the Vince Vaughn movie. And underrated. Underrated in my book. Like, good. Vince Vaughn's always funny and Jennifer Aniston's good. He plays the gay guy who works at the. You don't even recognize him, but he plays the gay guy who works at the art gallery.
Natasha Leggero
Her friend or something.
Adam Carolla
He's like receptionist.
Natasha Leggero
Okay.
Adam Carolla
Long hair and kissing potion and stuff. Super funny. Just not leading action, dude.
Natasha Leggero
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
All right. So this thing was a fucking disaster. And I'm gonna say. Because of that, 87. I'm gonna say, wow. 31.
Natasha Leggero
I am going out on a limb and saying that public sentiment was very high for Die Hard because It had been 15 years since the last one or something. So I'm saying 60%. Even though it's a real piece of shit.
Adam Carolla
This could do it. I could be wrong.
Gina Grad
I gotta stick with what I wrote, huh?
Adam Carolla
Yes.
Gina Grad
32.
Adam Carolla
82. I knew it. I knew it. I knew it. Oh, my God. No way. You're out of your mind, Ashley.
Gina Grad
That's rigged. There's no way that's real.
Adam Carolla
Gah.
Natasha Leggero
Should have gone higher.
Adam Carolla
Holy fucking shit. You just picked up 29 points on me and you needed those 29 points.
Natasha Leggero
I did.
Adam Carolla
So I'll tell you, part of what happened with this movie with the critics is that this movie came out about a cup within four weeks of A Transformers movie. And so they looked at this one.
Natasha Leggero
And said they could never live up.
Adam Carolla
No, this one got kind of a pass compared to the Transformers movie.
Natasha Leggero
Yeah. Because critics were like, this is how.
Adam Carolla
To do an action movie compared to a Transformers.
Natasha Leggero
Now, are you on board with this thing? This is not a good movie.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, I don't think this is not good. No, I'm on board with you. I think, for instance, the third Die Hard is kind of shockingly low on the tomatometer. Die Hard with a Vengeance. Right.
Natasha Leggero
With the Journey Island.
Adam Carolla
That was fun. And even the airport was all right.
Gina Grad
I mean, did it get an 82?
Adam Carolla
Well, now we got. No. See, the thing is, the audience has it at 86, which is. Which was your joke. 87 was my joke. That's a funny. All right. Die Hard with a vengeance. 51. See, there's no. That's insane. Right. And then what's the airport?
Natasha Leggero
Die Hard 2. Die Harder.
Adam Carolla
Die Harder. To die two harder, actually, for Brian. Brian, you were off my pace. You were off my pace. 69 for the second one, but. All right, but who. Well, what was the first one? So we can get really angry because the first one's gonna be high in the 90s. In the 90s. I think it's like 98, 97. But this thing is not 92. This one's just 10. 10%. 10% off the first one, Brian. 10%. All right. You are good. 15, 25 points. All right, let's see it. Let's see it. Paul, Brian. 90. Adam, 94. Gina grad. 150. 15. Wow.
Gina Grad
And I wasn't actually that far away, which is. This is a low scoring game. High scoring game.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, it's a high scoring.
Gina Grad
You're so happy with yourself right now, Brian.
Adam Carolla
He had a lot to overcome. I mean, you. You didn't start strong.
Natasha Leggero
No, not at all. Not a good winning score.
Adam Carolla
You had to pick up 25 points in that last night.
Natasha Leggero
Now, because the rationale was correct, was that Die Hard was way. There are four was way overrated. Way, way, way overrated.
Adam Carolla
There's. All right. There's a lot of kids listening, and I want to just tell you what I did wrong there.
Natasha Leggero
So tell them what I did right.
Adam Carolla
You met me. That's what you did. That's the only thing you've done right. Both are correct.
Natasha Leggero
Both are correct.
Adam Carolla
All right, now. And what I did is I was a guy who was way ahead on the points, and this was the last run in the F1 race, and all I need to do is finish sixth or better. But I wanted to go for the win, and I fucking dove inside on that last turn. Now, what I needed to do was follow my own shitty advice, which is just instead of going for the number you think it is, just go 50%. Because you just go in the middle somewhere. And that kind of cock blocks the person. Once you got 20 points of a lead on him, there's not much they can do.
Gina Grad
You don't have to win. You just have to beat Brian, right?
Adam Carolla
So even though in my heart this was a piece of shit, I saw this in the theater and was like, fuck this movie. This sucks. I thought the critics would tear it apart. I thought, I'm going to nail it at 31. But I really should have just went 50 or 55 just to be in the middle somewhere in case the unthinkable should happen, which is Matt's minions would see fit to hoist this movie upon their shoulders and lavish it with praise and scented rose petals. Jesus Christ.
Natasha Leggero
Good game, everyone. Everyone's me.
Adam Carolla
You brought it on fresh. I will say, I know that when you're ahead, Adam, you do that. And so that's why I don't put movies in the 50s in. At the end of the game, if you go back and look, it's all there.
Gina Grad
He's gonna change it now.
Adam Carolla
Now he could change it up. Look, everyone who gave that movie a great score, take a close life is revoked. Long look in the fucking mirror, please.
Gina Grad
Go Die Hard.
Adam Carolla
All right, let's see. What do we got? Burger King. Ah, the croissant witch. Love this, man. They got a deal for you, baby. Two for just four bucks at Burger King. Nothing better, man. Breakfast sandwich. Two flaky, light, buttery croissant sandwiches. They got the sausage, egg and cheese. Or you go with the bacon, egg and cheesy. You know what I say? Surprise me. I'll go for one of each. That's what I do. Bring them into work. Make a friend. How about that? The croissant, which is a breakfast sandwich, two for just four bucks going on right now at Burger King. Only at Burger King. Limited time only. Price participation may vary. So let's get going with the croissant, which over at Burger King. All right. Couple of calls, man. Here. Alex Winters waiting around, so we'll get to him in one second. Let's see, what do we got? Son, got trouble at school. Let's just jump to the top. Hey, Brian. Ace, man. Thank you for taking my call. I need your wisdom and comfort, my friend. 37. I'm here for both. I appreciate it. I need you. I need to know what I can tell my son. He is in third grade. They're in class, the teachers calling out questions. One of his little buddies across the room stands up to try and answer a question, gets it wrong. A little girl in that kid's group stands up, gets it right. My son leans over to his buddy, another kid, and says, hey, man, he just got beat by a girl. They both kind of snicker. That's it. Well, then that kid goes and tells the teacher. No one ever tells the little boy, right? Goes and tells the teacher. My son gets in a crapload of trouble, has to write a huge essay. And I'm thinking, he didn't do anything but talk to his buddy. And as a matter of fact, he specifically said, don't go tell him. It'll make him feel bad. He's in the third grade. That's the biggest insult they can come up with, is he got beat by a girl. Yeah. What I tell the. Well, first off, the fucking. I've said this a million times. It's the snitches that drive me insane. Now in today's PC world. So, Tom, snitches get stitches. I thought you should know, like, the. Under the veil of concern, you know, I just really thought it's important that, you know, Mrs. Carolla, that Adam called you an asshole on it. His radio show, you know, it's like, why do you think it's. You know, everyone does the. I just thought it's important. Important in what way? This event to end. Whatever the event is, it passed, you know? So if somebody says, look, I'm thinking about killing my wife, or I'm thinking about killing my neighbor, I'm thinking, by all means, tell somebody. Intervene. I'm thinking about. But the things, the events that pass, you know, first off, how are you gonna fucking unring that bell? And then, secondly, what are we really talking about? Stop me before I say beat by a girl again. It's so fucking insane. So just to be clear, Brian, your son was the son that said it, right? Yeah, he's the kid who said it. His other buddy said, hey, I'm gonna go tell him. And my son said, no, no, don't do that. You'll make him feel bad.
Natasha Leggero
So the kid said, okay, I won't.
Adam Carolla
So he goes and tells the teacher. And. I mean, he had to write an essay and all. I mean, it was like the equivalent of almost hitting another kid. What did they. What did they want you to write in the essay, it was. This is where it turned weird. It wasn't so much about. I shouldn't say things about other people. It was the sexist attitude, the misogynistic attitude. You're calling from Arkansas, I was going to say.
Natasha Leggero
So this is progressive.
Adam Carolla
It's 1991 there guys way till you get to 2015. It's out of control, man. You'll be dogs on airplanes. Just be prepared. Oh, hey, we still shoot dogs. Other people. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. They're gonna bring Molly back. Look, I don't. Look, it's. It's really. The thing that sucks is I really do think that we're creating this sort of anti little boy climate because little boys just are a certain way. They just are. They just do. And they are. And I probably sort of part and parcel of all the Ritalin and all the medication and all the whatever, because they need to do this. They need to poke. They need to crack wise, they need to poke fun. They need to bust each other's chops. They need to initiate the other little boys into their thing. I'm not talking about teabagging them. But snapping the jockstrap is just what guys do. And imagine now you're taking a whole group of people and telling them every impulse they have and everything they want to do no longer is doable. And it's now bordering on illegal. Of course you gotta be medicated. You're just fucking sitting there staring out the window. You know, Brian, ultimately this kid is gonna be a product of you and not the Arkansas school system. So you'll be fine, and he'll be fine because it's going to be his dad that does all the shaping. You understand? Meaning you. Hey. I told him, I said, dominic, you got to play the game, son. And I said, the game is some things that you think are funny other people get offended by. So just watch who you tell jokes to. Yeah, look, good advice. Look, that's. That's. That's the world we're. The world we're living in. And I would say one of the lessons for Dominic, too is like. Like don't trust the buddy. Oh, yeah. Know that that kid doesn't necessarily have your back.
Natasha Leggero
Lesson learned early.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, absolutely. That kid is just a pure puss.
Natasha Leggero
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
I fucking hate a pussy. I. I swear to God, I hate a pussy. I hate dudes that are.
Natasha Leggero
Yeah, I'm with you. I just hate thin skin is what you're kind of saying, right?
Adam Carolla
No, literally, thin skin. Like if a guy gets A nick or nicked up or falls in a way that doesn't. You can tell he's all right and he's got to make a big fucking deal out of it or that kind of stuff. Or like. I gotta sit down for a minute. I hate pussy. Pussy is the worst ingredient in a guy, for a guy I hate. I hate that characteristic in a guy. Like I hate the guy. I hate guys who can't rally.
Natasha Leggero
Just react appropriately to whatever it is. Whether you're sick a little bit or a lot. React appropriately to whatever. If you've been insulted a little bit or a lot, reaction appropriately.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, but I'm just saying it's like I love the guy who like said he was going to help you move on Saturday. Said he'd be there with his pickup truck at 8am Went and just fucking tied one on the night before and just shows up green the next day, you know, flop sweat going, still drunk. But I'm here, you know what I mean? Like I said, I'd be here. I'm fucking here. I just love. I love that guy and I hate the pussy. Jean. All right, let's see. Alex is out there. One more call.
Gina Grad
Oh, I'd love to hear your thoughts on Eric.
Natasha Leggero
Yeah, I have a similar situation too.
Adam Carolla
That all right. Poor Eric. Yes, thank you for taking my call. 34 Riverside. Yes. Just rebuilt a house in your hell community. Okay, so I have a neighbor, every single day he wakes up around 5 in the morning, has a motorcycle. He used to have a car but he sold it. Now he has a motorcycle. And he'll sit there for about a minute, I guess, warming up the motorcycle. And I think you can lock the RPMs really high because after about a minute he drops them and then he'll take off, right? So it's. It's bad enough that it's already loud. Those rpms when they're high it louder. And I don't even live next to the guy, so I know I'm not the only one. Hold on for a second. I got a fucking scream. We're so insane with any form of pollution. And like again, second hand, third, there's a third hand smoke. They're working on a fourth hand smoke. It'll be coming soon. Come out your eyes or something. I don't know. Smokers, after they die, their bodies decompose. And once you see smoke and all that. Yeah, it's telling someone about smoke, right? No, but smoke out my ears because we're talking about smoke. The movies that they rate on, Rotten Tomatoes. Have now warnings for smoking, period smoking, like, you know, old Western smoke or smoking Bugsy, Bugsy Seagull days? Historical smoke that shows up in the ratings from the npn. Why do we need historical smoking when Churchill smoke? But then my buddy Ray smokes too. Why don't we just have. What? Why does it, what's that? Why does that have a timestamp on it? I don't get it. People smoked during World War II. They smoked during Grenada. What's the difference? I like the idea of historical smoking because that sounds like. Oh man, Churchill had like eight cigars at one time.
Natasha Leggero
Historic smoking.
Adam Carolla
He set a record. It's monumental, man. Huge. So here's the thing. What about noise pollution? What about. I mean, can anybody figure out. I mean, could you even calculate the amount of times you've either been awoken from a nap or asleep in the morning by the garbage truck backing up or the fucking leaf blower because the neighbor had the gardener coming over at 8am on Saturday morning or whatever? I mean, the motorcycle that fired up and went down the alley behind your apartment building. I mean, I've been fucking wildly disturbed.
Gina Grad
Don't forget Spanish karaoke in Hollywood, a.
Adam Carolla
Lot of that in my neighborhood, ranchera music. It's the fucking worst. It is the fucking worst. Anyway, here's the point. How much of that has permeated your life and hurt your quality of life versus secondhand smoke to the point you.
Natasha Leggero
Don'T notice it anymore?
Adam Carolla
I know fucking backup beeps and the fucking chirping and the motorcycles and all this kind of stuff. It's a fucking issue. And I think it's at the point where it kind of like, look, if you are sleeping and your alarm is going to go off in half an hour, but you get the garbage truck with the need and it wakes you up. You're fucking in a shitty mood that day. Like, you just get up, you're pissed off, you look at the clock, you go, fuck, should I go back to bed for 18 minutes? And then you go, fuck it, I get up. And then you get up and you back end your kid and kick your dog. And then you go to work and yell at coworkers. I'm just saying, morning routine, it's an issue. And I wish especially. And I've screamed it about the fucking hey, Gary, I think you gotta find in 50 years Walby chick says, I think I did a list of dudes I could not hang with and this dude is that dude. The dude pulls fucking baffles out of the fucking Harley like, we get it, douchebag. He didn't get laid in high school.
Natasha Leggero
It's not loud enough.
Adam Carolla
Yes, you're gonna. And these guys especially, like, I used to ride a motorcyc cycle and I was very careful. Like, when I started it up and I had a.
Natasha Leggero
More.
Adam Carolla
I had a gig where I had to be at Always Better Closets in Burbank at 7am and my girlfriend lived in like, Beverly Hills adjacent. Like, she lived by the Ivy. And I'd have to get up at like 6:10 and hit the road. And I'd start that thing up and just let it idle. Like, I'd barely throw any revs in it before I got up and out and away from the building and so on and so forth. Fucking assholes that get on it drive me nuts. And by the way, what do you really. What do you. What's so attractive about you? Yeah, you're a fucking loser.
Natasha Leggero
To what end?
Adam Carolla
To what end? Gary? You got it. Only finds it. He'll read it. This was. It's all covered in the book, Eric. It's all covered in the book. It's all in the book.
Gina Grad
Do you know which neighbor it is?
Adam Carolla
Yeah, I do, but I'm so angry.
Gina Grad
Can you file some sort of city complaint with noise noises?
Adam Carolla
You're right.
Gina Grad
It's a weird thing, right?
Adam Carolla
I know he hates the people that call the cops, but I also know he hates those guys with a lot of motorcycles. So I don't know what I would try. I do the first. Here's what I would do. I would. I would put a note on behalf of the neighbors, pin it to his door. On behalf of the neighbors, your motorcycle is very loud. Blah, blah, blah. Can you please figure out a way to do it in such a way where you replace the baffles in them, or start it up in the garage, or donut, rev it until. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. See if there's any change at all. So my thing with everyone is you give them one shot before the fuzz gets involved. You know, neighbors throwing a party. It's super loud. Go over there and tell them, hey, man, man, I got kids. Could you turn it down just a couple clicks? Don't call the cops. Do that when the guy tells you to go fuck yourself. Then you get to go home and call the cops.
Gina Grad
Does he sign the letter or is it anonymous?
Natasha Leggero
He puts a knife through it?
Gina Grad
No, but that's the thing. I mean, there's something standing.
Adam Carolla
I think you can speak for the neighbors. This affects many of us all Right. This should bring you some joy. Eric, go ahead. Sorry. I've got the list here of the guys you won't hang out with, but.
Natasha Leggero
I can't tell which one of these.
Adam Carolla
Specifically applies to the Motorcycle Guy. Mmm, I think I read you the headings. All right, good.
Natasha Leggero
Weird Facial Hair Guy.
Adam Carolla
No, definitely My Wife's Best.
Natasha Leggero
My Wife is My Best Friend Guy.
Adam Carolla
No, I don't own a TV guy. Guy who announces they rescue dogs.
Natasha Leggero
The guy who wants to know where.
Adam Carolla
You got your cold.
Natasha Leggero
I've never drank Guy. Guy who swims before work.
Adam Carolla
Gay guy who acts so gay he's thought of as a chick and thus gets out of all the heavy lifting. I had an assistant that did this. Who's gonna get the kibble from the trunk? Not me.
Natasha Leggero
Not me, girlfriend.
Adam Carolla
Rockabilly Skull Guy. Guy who tells you what caffeine does to him.
Natasha Leggero
Gonna be Rockabilly Skull Guy.
Adam Carolla
No Panties in a Bunch Guy. And Lazy Flip Cap Guy. Oh, it's not under that category. Time to revise that book. Yeah, no, it's in another. It's in another chapter. That's not under the Guys who Bugged Me. Oh, shit. Well, we'll find it. Yes, sir.
Natasha Leggero
I think this book is. I have this book at least on hardcover, and I think it's indexed, so they may be able to look up Motorcycle Guy at the end.
Adam Carolla
All right, well, give it a look. Yes. I mean, that's a dick move, right? Because you know when you get the motorcycle, you know how loud it is. That's part of the appeal. And so when you're out there at 5am I guarantee you this guy is like, I'm fucking waking everybody up.
Gina Grad
Well, and I understand the idea that motorcycles have to be a certain noise, whatever. So you hear them coming because you don't want to hit them.
Adam Carolla
But.
Gina Grad
But these guys take it way beyond what's necessary. Set off car alarms all over the street.
Adam Carolla
And again, I'd see. Some of these guys would come home at 2, 3 in the morning, like from the bar, and just throw a couple revs in before they pulled into the parking structure of their apartment. Fucking hate these guys. All right, real quick, Nigel, last call, 40 Sacramento. What's going on? So I watched Rodehar and the Wings. It was great. Both movies. Yes. Yeah. Thank you. Yeah, it was great. And like, rogue her. Actually, I pre order itunes that I saw on the vhx that has extra. So I actually did ballet same day and watch it twice. Word. Thank you. Where are you? Where you hail from? What part of Missouri? Where? Sacramento.
Gina Grad
Sacramento?
Adam Carolla
Yes. All right. Where do your parents come from? And I always love it when they say Fresno. Where do your parents come from? I'm from Japan. Oh, okay. I'm a Japanese. Oh, man, you must love that Newman, doc. He's driving Nissan's and Dawson's all over the place. It's awesome. Yeah. So I was wondering, you always talking about, you know, how long the movie is. I'm sure you cut Lalo from Lord. Yeah, There's a bunch of stuff missing from both of them. Yes. Yeah. I was wondering, not only did my agent fall asleep at the premiere of Winning the Racing Life of Paul Newman, but he also had the super insulting conversation with him. He saw earlier sort of cut of it once and he said, that's good. It's good. It's a little long, maybe, I don't know, get down to like an hour. And I said hour is not a format, it's a movie. Well, I'm saying it'd be better than an hour.
Gina Grad
I won't miss nap time.
Adam Carolla
I know, but it's a movie, so it's got to be more. An hour's not first off. An hour is not an hour on tv. It's not anything. It's like a no man's life.
Natasha Leggero
So weird in between short.
Adam Carolla
It's not anything. He's like, hey, I'm just saying they can be a little better in an hour. And I'm like, it wasn't the final cut that you guys have seen. To be fair to him, it was a little. A few more things in there. But I kept explaining him it's movie. What Business. How's that saddle coming? Are you show business here? Oh, did you just hang out?
Natasha Leggero
No, you got the wrong one.
Adam Carolla
The wrong one at five. Sorry. Nigel. Wait a minute. Is there another Japanese guy named Nigel? No, I just go with Nigel because no one can pronounce my name right.
Natasha Leggero
What is your look? Now we got to know. What's your actual name?
Adam Carolla
My name is Nawaki.
Gina Grad
Nawaki.
Adam Carolla
Ready? Goes with Nigel. Yeah, that was good.
Gina Grad
Thank you.
Adam Carolla
Nice. You speak Japanese?
Gina Grad
Just a little bit teeny.
Adam Carolla
Really?
Gina Grad
Yeah. Moshimoshi. Nigel, go ahead.
Adam Carolla
What's the story behind that?
Gina Grad
I went to the University of Kansas and majored in theater with a concentration in Japanese math work.
Adam Carolla
Oh, okay. No idea why. All right, I like that. All right, so yeah, if you can release like uncut version or extended version for the fans. Yeah, I'll totally buy it. We will. We'll have the Blu Ray with tons of extra stuff. I have long sit downs with Mario and Dreddy and all sorts of guys like that. We took lots and lots and lots of stuff out to obviously get it down to, you know, 85 minutes. Baby Doll would have liked it. 60.
Natasha Leggero
You should include baby doll's review as part of the bonus features.
Adam Carolla
Just Z's coming up off his head.
Gina Grad
I give this three Z's.
Natasha Leggero
Z plus.
Adam Carolla
I liked it from Z to Z. All right, so yeah, that'll all be in the, in the blue, in the Blu ray department. It'll all, it'll all be there. All right, we're going to bring in Alex Winter in one second. Smart mouth man. Young guy, needs three things. Needs a little food, needs a little money, needs a little sex. And down every once in a while. Smart mouth activated mouthwash. Get rid of that bad breath. I'm telling you. Get the little mints. Put them in the console of the car. Get the little packets. They have a little travel packets you rip open. If you're a smoker, cigarettes, pot, whatever it is. Do the power move where I take a hit off the bottle. Use the sonic toothbrush. Make a little jacuzzi. Smart mouth in my mouth. Let's not get breath blocked there, fellas. Smart mouth man. You can find it in the shiny green box at the CVS Pharmacy or anywhere you shop online. Smartmouth.com Matt the Movie or the movie show, I should say. Rottentomatoes.com is the website. Fun to go there and check all the critic scores and audience scores and all that stuff. Podcast Rotten Tomatoes podcast. New episodes every Monday and Friday on itunes. Rotten Tomatoes. Matt Atchety, thank you so much. Thank you. And Alex Winter in studio. Next. Hey, kitties. You dig hearing the sound of my nasally drone? You dig cars good. I got something called Carcast and you can get it free on itunes or you can listen to it with the free Adam Carolla app, also available on Android and iPhone. Go to acarcast.com for more info. Again, it is me. It's Matt D'Andrea. It is all things cars. It is Carcast. Listen to who Sean and Larry King are interviewing. Martin Short has joined us. How are you? Jacqueline Laurita, one of the original cast members of the Real Housewives of New Jersey, Jon Voigt. Hey, thank you. Damon John. He's become a major television star on Shark Tank. Carl Reiner. I think I'm glad to be here. We'll find out at the end of the evening. Every Thursday, Sean and Larry King interview Hollywood royalty, reality stars and new up and comers Back and forth with Sean and Larry King@podcast1.com. That's podcastone.com.
Brian Bishop
It'S time for Nicaraguan. Name that movie with Adam's buddy Oswaldo. See if you can guess which movie this famous line is from.
Adam Carolla
Lion, tiger and bear. Oh my. If you said the wizard of Oz. Lions and tigers and bears. Oh my, you're correct. Now back to the show. A shot of romantic comedy that he co starred in.
Natasha Leggero
Stole the show. Really?
Adam Carolla
I should get her some sort of award. Alex Winter in studio. The documentary deep web premieres May 31, 8:00 on epics. A lot of good documentaries rolling around these days. So this one's about Silk Road and I didn't know any about this. I got coached up by Gary who knows all about it. So tell us all about it.
Brian Bishop
Well, yeah, the movie is primarily about the Silk Road drug market, which was an online drug market in a hidden area of the Internet called the darknet.
Adam Carolla
And that why is, how does one access the darknet you used?
Brian Bishop
There's different services that will get you in there. There's a service called Tor, an application called Tor, it's got its own browser and it has something called Tor hidden services, which is like you just type in a URL that doesn't have dot com, it's got onion on the end of it. And that takes you into a different section of the Internet that's been built mostly to create privacy and anonymity online.
Adam Carolla
Wow.
Brian Bishop
It's got a lot of functions. It's not there just for selling drugs, but it does work for that too.
Adam Carolla
So who started or do we know? I know Al Gore invented it, but what I'm saying is how does one stay fly under the radar, so to speak? I think there's a whole section of the Internet that most of the populace doesn't know about.
Brian Bishop
Well, the Deep Web refers to basically all the data that's online that isn't indexed by Google or other search engines. And that really just accounts for a bunch of flotsam code. It's sort of often portrayed in the media like this big, nefarious, scary invisible thing. It's really just code. It's like a bunch of junk essentially that doesn't need to be indexed data and administrative code and shit like that.
Natasha Leggero
So if internal servers and networks for.
Brian Bishop
Exactly.
Natasha Leggero
Business, we could have our own.
Brian Bishop
Yeah, it's like bureaucracy. It's like administrative. But then people went into. I mean, the government originally started to create a space within that area that, that they could Use for privacy and anonymity, largely for government agencies to be able to communicate with each other without being seen. Journalists, dissidents, people in totalitarian countries that needed to get information out under the wire. There's a lot of really positive uses for that. But then it's a privacy and anonymity space, so it's used for everything, including contraband.
Adam Carolla
Right. So the story chronicles what it chronicles.
Brian Bishop
Essentially the rise and fall of the Silk Road. And the Silk Road was the biggest thing that had ever hit the darknet and the biggest thing that had ever used Bitcoin, which is a digital currency, a cryptocurrency that can be used anonymously. So what Silk Road did it was sort of like the Reese's peanut butter cups, and they put chocolate and peanut butter together. When they put Tor, which is an anonymized service that gets you into the darknet and Bitcoin together, they had a Shangri La in their hands. They basically, they went through the roof. They had millions and millions of users. They were moving a billion dollars worth of Bitcoin around. They were transacting all kinds of goods and services anonymously with anonymous currency and tax free, correct? Absolutely. And largely it was being used for drugs. And it was created as a political engine. It was created from the beginning by a group of people that were hardcore libertarians. They were anti the drug war. They thought technology could help circumvent the problems of the drug war, get drugs into people's hands with less violence, less crime, better quality drugs. I mean, it'swhether you agree with the Silk Road or not, because it's pretty provocative. It was, again, it's mostly been misrepresented. It was actually created for political means.
Adam Carolla
Well, I mean, obviously it's not inherently bad.
Natasha Leggero
People use it for bad things.
Brian Bishop
Yeah, well, there's that and then there's just. It's a radical thing to do, man. I mean, it's definitely thinking beyond law, for sure. It's just a question of what your motives are.
Adam Carolla
But it's also, I mean, look, better to get your drugs this way than have the head in the duffel bag from the cartel.
Gina Grad
Define bad things. I mean, what's so bad?
Natasha Leggero
Child pornography.
Gina Grad
Right, but I'm talking specifically.
Brian Bishop
There wasn't child pornography on the Silk Road.
Gina Grad
No, it's all drugs, Right?
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Brian Bishop
The Silk Road was actually created with a very heavy ethics involved. Again, whether you agree with heroin or not, there was no child pornography on the Silk Road. There was no money laundering on the Silk Road. They monitored what Sort of transactions were going on to prevent that kind of stuff from happening.
Natasha Leggero
I got to see this documentary.
Adam Carolla
I'm excited, I'm educated. Just Google in child pornography. It'll pop up.
Brian Bishop
Do some research.
Adam Carolla
You were able to find the guy or the guys?
Brian Bishop
Yeah, I was able to get pretty unprecedented access, which I didn't know I was going to get. Going in, I had, you know, having done, I did a movie about Napster before this called Download It. And I know a lot of people in that, in the tech space. I know a lot of hackers, I know a lot of sort of, you know, hacktivist people on the political side of the Internet. But I ended up encountering and finding through encryption and other means, all the sort of chief architects of the Silk Road that I needed to talk to. And then I got exclusive access to the family of the guy that was arrested and charged with running the Silk Road.
Gina Grad
So I had asked him, who's been still pretty anonymous. I mean, it's hard to find information on him.
Brian Bishop
Yeah, Ross Ulbricht has just been convicted. He gets sentenced in about two weeks. And there's more information online about him now that we know. But it's hard to really categorically know exactly who did what when you're dealing with anonymous usernames.
Adam Carolla
So what laws do they have to prosecute guys like this? Because I know, like back in the day they'd use laws from the IRS to try to put mobsters behind bars. But I'm not sure more IRS laws. Like what? Because there's not too much on the books. You know, a lot of books about stealing people's oxen and stuff like that. Not Silk Roads.
Brian Bishop
Yeah, exactly. I mean, you basically head into this terrain where the new laws haven't been written yet. So they're mostly using straight up physical world drug laws, which sometimes don't apply. In this case, it's hard to know, like, is this person if it actually was the person who did run the site? Which it's hard to even know if that's true. Was that person a drug kingpin? I mean, can you equate them directly to a typical cartel kingpin?
Gina Grad
Were they just a kindly E commerce guy?
Brian Bishop
Well. Or are they facilitating something that other people are actually doing the transactions on? So it gets into a lot of law around what are you actually doing? It gets into search and seizure law. How did they find this server in the first place? If it was existing in a hidden corner of the Internet, was that legal? Did they have warrants? I've always It's a sticky wicket.
Adam Carolla
I've always contended that you could be intent to distribute. I've always, you know, they say back in the day, more than an ounce of marijuana. I was always like, if you got a good lawyer, that guy would say, no, no, you need to see him attempt to sell it before you say. Because you can't say that with anything.
Natasha Leggero
You're showing bank records that shows he was profitable. He may have just been.
Adam Carolla
Show me the undercover cop he tried to sell the weed to. Because otherwise I could just be going Costco with my weed.
Gina Grad
Nuclear winter, buy in bulk, you know.
Adam Carolla
Like I don't feel like going to the park every weekend, so I buy in bulk.
Natasha Leggero
I always thought you're a busy stoner.
Adam Carolla
With intent to distribute, but yeah. So what do you think this guy's gonna get? What do you think he should?
Brian Bishop
Well, he was convicted of all seven counts, which was drug kingpin, conspiracy, computer hacking, a lot of stuff. And I was at the trial and it's pretty intense and it's also pretty gray. It's really hard to determine exactly what actually did go on behind this veiled curtain of the Silk Road. On this, on the darknet he's got, he faces between 20 years in life, you're dealing with big drug war maximums. They don't mess around in that terrain. So you're looking at a 30 year old kid who could be spending the rest of his life in jail for this stuff. So we'll see what happens.
Adam Carolla
As far as you go. I just finished a documentary. You just finished a documentary. You know, there's a lot of content out there now and I had no idea how much the business model has changed since I did my last film, the Hammer. It was, you know, eight or nine years ago. I remember my kids were just born, so it was about eight, eight and a half years ago and things. The climate has changed insanely, I think. Seven, by the way. Sorry.
Natasha Leggero
When you were doing it, it was.
Adam Carolla
First year radio show. I remember my kids showing up on set as little muffins. But anyway, how does one make a living doing bios, doing documentaries?
Brian Bishop
I don't know. I'll have to hunt someone down who does that, I can tell you. I mean, I don't. For me, of course, there are many different ways to skin a cat. When you're making a doc. There are people who pick up a camera and they travel around and they document what they want to document until they got a movie there. And I don't know how they eat, but they Manage to find food. And that's a really noble and amazing thing to do. I've got three kids and a whole other career and I don't do that. So what I do is I construct an idea. I pitch that idea to a network. In this case in. And we downloaded. That was VH1. They bought it, they paid me for it, I made it for them. And then we shook hands and walked away. And on this one, that was epics. But for Deep Web, we did a Kickstarter to start us off so that we could build community around the movie, which is very important with Doc. So you actually have a community that's already starting to build Word for you and that's sort of part of your team. We did a Kickstarter. We didn't ask for a ton of money. We funded successfully.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, that's for 75k.
Brian Bishop
Yeah, 75 grand.
Adam Carolla
It was.
Brian Bishop
You know, it's a decent amount of money to ask people to give you and you to deliver on that. But then we cut a trailer together with that, shot some really good interviews. I was able to get exclusive access just with that money. So we were off and running after that.
Adam Carolla
How much? See, I have this theory which is sort of like this. If you're going to do a podcast, don't do a podcast about moccasin manufacturing, because people that make moccasins aren't hooked up to the web and potting. You know what I mean? So it's like if you're doing a podcast, you do a tech show or whatever, and then you get a lot of ears on you. As far as making a documentary, I imagine this is a subject where people who like documentaries are also pretty plugged into this subject, right?
Brian Bishop
Yeah, that's a really good point. And I fell into that sideways because I've always been interested in technology. And so the download, it was originally a narrative that I wrote at Paramount and I fell into turnaround for so long, I turned it into a doc. And the next doc I do is probably not in the tech space, but it's true that if you're telling stories around the tech space and you're approaching that community through the Internet, you are addressing a plugged in audience. And plus, with Deep Web, most of the people I needed to get to from the Silk Road found me via the Kickstarter. So I put an encrypted email up on Kickstarter and I managed to get most of my subjects through the Kickstarter.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, I know. I cracked it pretty quick.
Natasha Leggero
I hacked into it Lest it gets glossed over. I saw it download it is last documentary. It's really good. I like to thank you.
Brian Bishop
I appreciate that.
Natasha Leggero
It's all about the Napster. The rise of, you know, online.
Adam Carolla
I shall be watching.
Natasha Leggero
Very interesting.
Adam Carolla
I look, there's nothing that. You know, the thing about a documentary that's great is when a movie like Die Hard for Fucking sucks.
Natasha Leggero
Good day to die 82%. I feel bad.
Brian Bishop
I haven't even seen it. I heard you guys talking about angry.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. All they did was steal an hour and 47 minutes of your life.
Brian Bishop
Right.
Adam Carolla
When a documentary isn't great, at least you're completely coached up on young accordion players and the pressure that they feel in competition in the Balkans. In the Balkans, in that very competitive world, you feel like you're there in.
Natasha Leggero
The Black Sea, man.
Adam Carolla
I know that you may be bored off of your ass, but you're now at any dinner party you go to, you are the expert at that table.
Brian Bishop
On the you're bored and smarter as opposed to bored and stupider and angry. There's a little bit of a net.
Adam Carolla
Gain and you're usually out an extra $6. Stupider and boreder.
Brian Bishop
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
And yeah. And then Bruce Willis got a little richer.
Brian Bishop
Yeah, a lot richer probably.
Adam Carolla
It's lose, lose, lose. So my thing with the doc is what's the worst that could happen? I could learn something. Sure.
Brian Bishop
Yeah, I agree.
Adam Carolla
And then put that on your poster.
Natasha Leggero
Alex.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Natasha Leggero
You might learn something.
Gina Grad
And speaking of stuff that you created, I just have to tell you, I know it didn't last very long, but the idiot box was something my brother and I were very excited about.
Adam Carolla
Awesome.
Gina Grad
When it first came out. And so you have gone all over the place from sketch to docs.
Brian Bishop
I have, Yeah. I guess. Cuz I'm old, I will. You got to do things when you're old.
Adam Carolla
Well, I want to know. I feel like we're kindred spirits. Legal Zoom, baby. You want to be a famous entrepreneur like me and Alex. An innovator like Alex over there with this Silk Road rose robe. Anyway, you launch your dreams at Legal Zoom baby. Legal Zoom. This month for a limited time, you get a special savings on trademarks and copyrights and provisional patent applications. All the good stuff. You're all at legalzoom. Not a law firm, so you can get advice from a network of independent attorneys in most states. Don't forget, enter Adam in the referral box when you check out. So you let them know you heard it from me. They send a little love our way legalzoom.com it's legal help. And it's here. It's legalzoom.com. all right, so Alex, you know you like acting, you like writing now directing, documentaries, features, what? But is it just sort of everything for you or is there something you want to focus on?
Brian Bishop
No, I mean, I've always really focused on writing and directing. I went to film school. I acted as a kid, and then I came out of film school pretty broke and sort of fell back into acting again. Sideways. And so the movie stuff I did was actually after I thought I wasn't going to act anymore. It was after I'd actually retired from acting. And it was fun. I really enjoyed it. But my intention even back then was to write and direct. And I did the idiot box as you guys were just talking about back then. I was doing a lot of commercials back then, and pretty much as soon as I could earn a living directing, I stopped acting. So I stopped acting intentionally about 20 years ago.
Adam Carolla
You've done a couple, few music videos for some pretty big acts. Is that still a business?
Brian Bishop
Not for me. I stopped doing music videos a long time ago because it stopped being like it got. And I'm sure there's a way to do it now. So it's interesting, especially since YouTube has kind of reinvigorated the medium. But for me, I really loved working with bands. I like doing creative stuff. And as soon as it got super corporate and you basically, you know, you had the publicist telling you how the video should work rather than the band members. Right. I've just bailed out.
Adam Carolla
You want to hang out and do a little news with us?
Brian Bishop
Sure, love to.
Adam Carolla
Let's do it. Gina Grant give you the news with Grad News with Gina Grad show bids.
Brian Bishop
Congress Tech news Forces World news. Give me news with Gina Grad Weird shit out of Florida Sex surveys Obama.
Adam Carolla
Need News with Gina Gina the News with Gina Grad.
Gina Grad
Kim Jong Un is at it again. The New York Post reports that North Korean leader Kim Jong Un had his defense chief executed with an anti aircraft gun.
Natasha Leggero
So wacky.
Gina Grad
Wait, it gets better. For complaining about him, for talking back to him, and for sleeping during a meeting presided over by him.
Adam Carolla
When did. Hey, Gary. Find that part in that book? Maybe it's the second book. We're still looking.
Natasha Leggero
Read all about his books while we're doing the show.
Adam Carolla
I think it's the first book. I feel like Korea, at least North Korea, somehow they're crazy. Publicists, like, entered the room and went, hey, what's going on? Here. And we're like, you know, nothing. Just rounding up folks, putting up gulags. Yeah, how come no one knows about it?
Gina Grad
Exactly.
Adam Carolla
The damn Middle east are getting all the credit for being insane. Now, what's going on here? Come on, everyone. Put up these. Put on these wind up beanies. I'm going to chase you around with a butterfly net. Like, let's pick it up. Let's go. Now what happened to our golf games where everyone got a hole in one for 126 holes? Like, nothing's going on. The Arabs are kicking our asses over there with other crazy behavior. Let's go. And don't get me started on Mexico. Let's pick it up.
Brian Bishop
And then why the manner of death? So that's the thing I can't wrap my head around. Why is it always these ridiculous. Like, the last guy was eaten by a hundred dogs or something?
Adam Carolla
His uncle. Right.
Gina Grad
His uncle was eaten by 120 starving dogs. For. For the.
Brian Bishop
I feel like something's getting lost in translation. Like they're telling them, like, you know, actually, we, you know, we were shot by Lethal and Jackson. The guy reads it wrong. He's got it upside down.
Gina Grad
And speaking of getting it wrong in the translation, his uncle was accused of being a careerist and a trickster. So that should explain it for you.
Brian Bishop
That's a skill on my resume.
Gina Grad
Yeah, on your business card.
Adam Carolla
That's a gay website trickster for just a couple of couple hours. Want to hook up at the airport? I don't know. So get Rodman to fix this. He's got to fix this thing. Yeah, they've gone. I don't know. What year is it? What's happening over there? They're going insane.
Gina Grad
One expert described the development as an attempt to orchestrate a reign of terror that would solidify his leadership as though he was going to be dethroned.
Adam Carolla
Can I ask this? Don't you think now that it takes a village and there's the Internet and everything, and you can get anywhere on an airplane that goes 600 miles an hour? How about national interventions? Like, how about, like. It's like North Korea. Yeah. Hi. United States, Canada. You've met Sweden. Come on. Thanks. And we just want to talk.
Brian Bishop
Duct tape, some rope.
Adam Carolla
There are lots of stories about dogs eating folks and hack. Hack guns. Killing a dude. Obviously you're in some pain. Would you like to talk?
Natasha Leggero
Can't have a letter prepared. They want to read to you.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, hold on. Mexico. No, stay out of liquor. Stay out of liquor cabinet. Just sitting.
Natasha Leggero
You're not helping.
Adam Carolla
You're not helping. You're not helping. Just quiet down. I'm like, I don't know, Germany. I'm not sure where we're eating. Just relax. I'm going to finish this intervention here and then we'll talk about this. But obviously you're acting out. There's some pain going on here. What can we do? What can we do to solve this to ease your pain?
Gina Grad
When you feed your uncle to dogs, it makes us feel hurt.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. And it affects, you know, look, all right, there's borders, there are countries, but you ever see the globe from outer space? Kind of looks like we're all mashed together. And there's some. You know, it's like when the parents are fighting. Just because they close the bedroom door doesn't mean the kids don't hear it seeping through the walls. So what do we got here, Japan? What is it now, 2015? Exactly.
Natasha Leggero
You make the watches.
Adam Carolla
Good. All right, good. Let's see if we can all just kind of stop with the missiles and the dogs, all that kind of stuff.
Brian Bishop
It's kind of hard to believe. It's. I mean, I'd love to know what's actually happening. I mean, it feels just like. Like a bad sketch show. Like, it's like they're just sitting around. Who are we going to pretend is dead this week? How do we want to pretend they died? Like, they write some stuff down. Sticking in a hat.
Adam Carolla
What should we do for outfits? We need crazy haircuts and outfits. Exactly.
Gina Grad
And the propaganda there alone is insane. Like, they have these huge. In Pyongyang, they have these department stores and drug stores. Nothing's for sale, right? Not allowed to buy anything. And when Kim Jong Il died, if you weren't in the street screaming and crying about his death, you were imprisoned.
Adam Carolla
You know, the thing that's always crazy, too, is like, we're sitting. Like our citizens are outraged that they took water from the Owens Valley and they've killed the Delta smelt. Yeah, it's like, right? These guys getting rocket shit blowing up their eyes. Like, we're so out of problems, we're worried about smelt and things. The fish we can't even eat. We're worried about death by tricksterism. Yeah. All right. Wow. They've gone fucking. I mean, the leader in the clubhouse in the crazy department. I feel like seven years ago, if you were like. If you said North Korea, I'd be like, oh, are they the good ones or the bad ones? I don't know. I Never hear anything. I guess it's colder than I thought that's all you'd hear out of me now it's like, holy fuck.
Brian Bishop
I know. Yeah, madhouse.
Gina Grad
Yeah. Well, switching gears a little bit, the new Iggy Azalea and Britney Spears collaboration is out and many are describing it as, quote, the best worst thing you'll see all week. The song is called Pretty Girls and it's a loose takeoff on the 80s movie Earth Girls are Easy. It was also co directed by Iggy Azalea. I thought I'd spare you the song and just show you the interlude in the video where some acting is attempted.
Adam Carolla
Well there. This has to be very ass centric video.
Gina Grad
It's actually more midriff centric.
Adam Carolla
Oh, really?
Gina Grad
Yeah, a lot of crop tops and.
Adam Carolla
Low cheese punches because.
Gina Grad
Because it's supposed to have that 80s vibe. I'll let you judge for yourself on the acting here.
Adam Carolla
Hi, girls. Hey, Bee. Who's the new hottie? Yeah, she looks like totally far off. She is. She's like totally from another planet.
Natasha Leggero
Totally. No way.
Adam Carolla
This phone is totally broken. I can totally fix it for you. Fix it for me? Those are radical alien powers.
Gina Grad
Yeah, let me call your friends.
Adam Carolla
Like totally. Hello, girls. We're like totally, like totally coming over right now. Let's go. Yeah, this is. Alex did not direct this. Does Britney Spears seem like she's singing through a Roomba all the time? Like, does everything have to sound completely tinny and synthetic? Like I thought like you hear like James Taylor sing and you go, wow, wow, wow. It's so like visceral, you know, you can feel it. And then she's the opposite of why you listen to music, isn't it?
Brian Bishop
When did that happen?
Gina Grad
Yeah, one's full and one's hollow.
Adam Carolla
But the part where the reason. I mean, look, you'd like to fuck a live human being versus an inflatable doll with a vibrating pussy. Because 1 feel that way. Yeah, A lot of guys on the silk slip and slide there too judgmental. But I'm saying like one is real. You know when someone says, look, our turkey sandwiches are made of whole breast turkey, not a bunch of synthesized or turkey parts present. And you know, we can all agree that whether it's wood grain turkey or music, like, don't we all want the real version? Yes. Why we want the robot version then of music?
Gina Grad
Well, I think it's like very Orwellian. Like you get it shoved up your ass so much that you're finally like, you know what? This isn't that Bad. This is a pretty good song, right?
Natasha Leggero
I think she's also to blame for American Idol and all of those shows in a way because she's so talent free and yet got so famous. I think a lot of girls and guys probably looked at her and was like, wow, you can sing like that and be super famous. Let me give it a shot.
Gina Grad
Well, and they did a. They actually did a study on her the way she sings, which is called a guttural fry, which is all. So it's not actually singing, but it's what people are listening to now.
Adam Carolla
But how's about the part where you go and see her in Vegas and in the middle of her song she like rolls her ankles because she's wearing stripper wedgies and she doesn't miss a beat as she hits the floor and rise in pain because the mic's not hooked up.
Natasha Leggero
I don't think you're there for the singing. If you're at a Britney Spears concert, you're there for the spectacle, I would assume.
Adam Carolla
Understood. But the reason porn is better than Skinimax is because you get to see a little penetration. Not that all roads lead back to the balls, but what I'm saying is this is. This is Skinimax dry humping. I'm seeing like I'm. They're going through the motion, but nothing's really going on over here. Yeah, if I pay to see Britney Spears. Look, if I pay to see Van Halen, I'd kind of like to see him do the song. Right?
Gina Grad
You don't want the record to skip.
Brian Bishop
Isn't that the 90s? You guys were talking about this before, but isn't that a product of the 90s where suddenly you had artists, Rob.
Gina Grad
And Fab that were.
Brian Bishop
That were moving crazy amounts of units, like making sick amounts of money. That had never happened before in the history of recorded music. I remember like, you know, when Madonna surpassed the Beatles in terms of their. Of her record of sales. And you're thinking, okay, game over, right? So like you said, so anybody's coming up in the air going, okay, well this is not just successful. This is like mega huge. If I follow this line of the way I make my records, it's kind of hard to tell somebody, don't do that. You're only going to sell. Move 40 million units.
Natasha Leggero
Only the blueprint for success.
Adam Carolla
No, you're right. She end up showing embolden a generation of talentless to pick up a microphone and not plug it in.
Brian Bishop
Right, right. Auto Tunes.
Adam Carolla
Jesus.
Brian Bishop
Revolution.
Adam Carolla
Christ. All right. I hate Feeling like old man all the time.
Brian Bishop
Pick up your anti aircraft gun and go to town.
Adam Carolla
Oh, so bad. Boy, my family's lucky we're not in North Korea right now. A lot of them out. They sure are. I'm not gonna say which ones, but you know who you are.
Natasha Leggero
Yeah, you're listening.
Adam Carolla
Sorry, where were we?
Gina Grad
Oh, the city of San Francisco finally did it. After months of debate, they finally passed a law.
Adam Carolla
Oh, hold on. Speaking of San Francisco, are you sitting down? There is a movie.
Natasha Leggero
Let's hear it.
Adam Carolla
San Andreas.
Natasha Leggero
Yes.
Adam Carolla
Coming out. Hold on. Something's never been done before. The Golden Gate Bridge is going to be destroyed in the movie. Wow.
Brian Bishop
And it won't even be cgi, right?
Natasha Leggero
No, it's based on a true story.
Brian Bishop
All right, okay, cool.
Adam Carolla
That movie, that's the next fucking Merchant Ivory film that comes out in the fucking trailer. They're going to show the Golden Gate getting destroyed. Somebody has to raise their hand during the next epic, whatever movie and says page 31, where we take out the Golden. The Golden Gate Bridge has been taken out in every third movie for the last 17 years. Please, we must think of.
Natasha Leggero
Is this the product of the screenwriting or is this the product of a lot of the special effects? CGI places originate in the Bay Area, right?
Gina Grad
Because the same thing with the Statue of Liberty and Capitol.
Brian Bishop
It's got to be. Just pick your landmark.
Adam Carolla
But can we take out fucking Mount Rushmore just once?
Gina Grad
Do you want them to go?
Adam Carolla
No. You know what it is? It's. It's the cycle of. It's the. All right, what happened to souffle humor? Every 70s sitcom, it's like, don't slam the door. Why? Souffle in the oven? That's act one. Guy comes home, throws his brief face down. Souffle. I'm working on this. I thought there was people first off. I thought people actually made souffles at home, which evidently nobody does. And if you want to get one at Morton's, you have to call in a week in advance. But either way, there was souffle humor. And it was all over the place for like a nine year period. And then it does not exist anymore. So what happens is people just go, what are they doing over on that channel? Ah, they did a thing on Father Knows Best or the Brady Bunch or something about souffle humor. That sounds pretty good. Incorporate a little soul in our thing. And somebody said, you know, they took out the Golden Gate Bridge in Godzilla and they're like, yeah, that gross. 281 million domestically. First weekend asshole.
Natasha Leggero
People love seeing shoes do it again.
Adam Carolla
Right? Because the Golden Gate Bridge remained basically unmolested for the first hundred years of filmmaking. And in the last 21 months has been taken out 4,000 times.
Brian Bishop
The white House. How many times every other movie the White House gets obliterated. Maybe it's just wish fulfillment.
Adam Carolla
You know? The happiest person is Angeline. The big riots. She used to have her billboard taken out in every single apocalyptic movie that in the Capitol Records building are like, whoo, yeah, let him fucking take out the Golden Gate.
Gina Grad
She's like the souffle of media.
Adam Carolla
That's right. Her tits are souffle draft kings, baby. That's better in a suit. I don't even know what's in his.
Natasha Leggero
Christy made a souffle on Sunday.
Adam Carolla
Are you watching?
Natasha Leggero
As soon as you said no one.
Adam Carolla
Makes you toss your ass right out of the ground. Right out of the ground.
Natasha Leggero
I waited till you were doing a lot of DraftKings.
Adam Carolla
Baby. Baseball's back. Yes.
Natasha Leggero
And it was delicious.
Adam Carolla
You get me angry. DraftKings.com if done, I'll tell you what it was.
Natasha Leggero
It'll make you really happy.
Adam Carolla
All right. If it had something to do with ham and or cheese, I'm going to get violent. Daily fantasy. No season long commitments. Just instant cash. Instant gratification. And why wait? You don't have to wait for the end of the season to get paid. Just pick two pitchers and eight position players. Pick up your cash. Last year, Peter from Colorado won a million dollars in one day. DraftKings daily, baby. DraftKings. Dawson, hurry to DraftKings.com now and use.
Brian Bishop
Promo code Adam to play for free in today's $10,000 fantasy baseball contest.
Adam Carolla
DraftKings.com official partner of major League Baseball. Enter Adam for free entry now@draftkings.com that's draftkings.com what was in this souffle?
Natasha Leggero
Bad news. It was a brunch. That was a French toast souffle. It was so goddamn good. Oh, so good. I had to be very quiet.
Adam Carolla
Full time job. Your wife works full time.
Natasha Leggero
This is Sunday. This was Sunday. It was Mother's Day.
Brian Bishop
She's cooking on Mother's Day.
Natasha Leggero
She's not a mother.
Brian Bishop
Oh, okay.
Natasha Leggero
For her mother.
Brian Bishop
Oh, I see. Gotcha.
Adam Carolla
All right.
Gina Grad
So they finally passed a law up in San Francisco banning smokeless tobacco on the fields of all sporting events. Now, when visiting baseball teams come to town, they won't be able to dip while playing. The new law will go into effect January 1, 2016. Says that violators will be asked to leave the field.
Adam Carolla
Good, good. And listen, look, here's the dealio for those of you who think I'm a hypocrite, because I don't care if you fucking smoke on the beach. It's high def. It's ruining the game for me. These guys put their dip in and they're all spitters. Now, see, the thing about baseball is it's so slow. Everything's idiosyncratic in baseball because in football, in hockey, in basketball, no one's making.
Natasha Leggero
Hot foots in football.
Adam Carolla
All you can do is react. You don't have time to be superstitious. All you have. Now, if they did a thing where in basketball there was 25 minutes in between free throws, there'd be guys wearing their jerseys inside out and guys rubbing Buddhas and shit and guys stacked up in weird pyramid shapes on the side so he could make it. Baseball, they have so much time on their hands, they all get up in their head and they start doing all their idiosyncratic shit. Yeah, the guys step out of the fucking box, undo the velcro on their. On their gloves and redo it in the exact same position in between pitches, balls or strikes, doesn't matter. Smear shit all over, you know, pine tar all over their fucking emblem. It's the worst sport ever.
Natasha Leggero
Combine that with the fact there are always a number of players in every case who simply will not play. They pitched the day before, so they're just there. Chill out.
Adam Carolla
So they're there. So now it's time to get the chaw on. Now my thing is, like, they're like, well, these guys do this. Well, look, they drink too. I'm sure they drink beer when they get home. Or they smoke pot or cigarettes or they eat pot roast, ribs, lasagna. There's many things that people do during that allotted three hours. You cannot do that. You may fuck your wife when you get home. You don't get to fuck her on the field. You may enjoy something that comes from a crock pot. You don't get to eat out of a bowl. On the field, there's just a bunch of shit. And I think it's pretty good because you get $18 million a year in return for these three hours. We kind of own you now. You can eat before in the locker room and you can chew before and you can eat after and you can chew after, but just during this period, do your job. Kids suck wine out of a boat, a bag or anything.
Brian Bishop
It's gotten worse. I Mean, I. It feels like since I was a kid, it's gotten worse. Like, it seems like there's more totems, more superstitions, more. Doesn't it seem that way?
Adam Carolla
Like. Yeah, no. Dominican Republic. These guys with their Santeria come in here, they're rubbing chicken bones on everything.
Natasha Leggero
It's a long raft ride over here. So you got a full time.
Adam Carolla
You gotta be lucky too. Like, you got a connection up there. But they. Santeria is the problem, number one. Next, Doc. So they have high def and I got like the 70 inch plasma. And these guys are doing. They could do weird spit. It's idiosyncratic spinning. It's not. We've all done the thing where we went, you know, walked out of the car and went like, you know, and hawked one in the shrub or whatever. This ain't that. This is weird. Pitchers putting little bubble things on the end and in high def. It's fucking weird. And some guys are like sprinklers. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Brian Bishop
It's even weird when you're in this in the stands, though. It's because it's like it. It's. You know, baseball is for people who like a slower game. I mean, it just is. And it's like. It's anxiety provoking. You have all these, like, weird OCD people on this.
Adam Carolla
Yes.
Brian Bishop
Like, doing all this weird shit through the whole game.
Adam Carolla
You're harsh. In my mouth. Yeah. And the players union, even though a number of guys have been killed from smokeless tobacco. Players union, no can do, right? No. So our players need to do something that's insanely unhealthy for them during the time they're actually engaged in America's pastime.
Brian Bishop
Mm.
Adam Carolla
What?
Natasha Leggero
Your constituents are dying and getting cancer and you're just.
Adam Carolla
No, not. What are you gonna do? We're putting our foot down. There definitely will be spitting this shit all over the field, which does not. You never see a guy in the NFL, like, running down the field eating fries they're chewing. Or smoking. I used to like it when coaches could smoke, but either way, good. Good for you, San Francisco. Everything else about you is wrong. This part is good. Good. And I'm all for the part where it's legal. Do whatever you want during this period of time where you're paid millions of dollars.
Gina Grad
While you're at work.
Adam Carolla
While you're at work. Like many people. I don't think airline pilots can dip. I don't know. But you're spitting everywhere. You're gross. Just play the game and then dip. Dip in the locker room. Yep. All right, let's see who was what. I keep.
Natasha Leggero
Tony Gwynn.
Adam Carolla
Tony Gwynn, right.
Natasha Leggero
A number of players have probably passed away, but he's most notable.
Adam Carolla
Right. And a lot, like, a ton of these guys dip.
Natasha Leggero
Oh, yeah. They come down with, you know, lip cancer.
Adam Carolla
It's like one third of these guys and what it is. And again, I'm not one of these video games makes you violent kind of thing, but when you playing Pony league and high school ball and you see your hero up there hitting.400 and he's got a big lip full of cha. You go get some. Fucking. Get some red, man. Before we go on the road, 100%.
Natasha Leggero
Of my baseball playing friends in high school dipped at some point just to try it or because they became addicted or because that was the cool thing to do.
Brian Bishop
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
Yep. I remember very well once we were playing a road game at. I was at North Hollywood High, and we're playing, I don't know, El Camino or something, and we're all in the bus, baseball team, and we're getting ready to leave, and we were like, oh, my God, we don't have any dip. We don't have any. Any chaw.
Brian Bishop
In high school.
Adam Carolla
In high school. Yeah. And we couldn't get off the bus. It was kind of thing where, like, the bus was parked there, but the coach was, like, sitting there, and nobody was going on a run in their cleats, like, in their spikes, you know? And Beth Ringwald, Molly Ringwald's sister, like, pulled up, the window was down, like, you know, the windows. Buses slide in weird direction. Anyway, I, like, yelled out the window. She was going to her car or something. I said, like, we're in the parking lot at school. I said, beth, can you go to the liquor store?
Natasha Leggero
Do us a solid.
Adam Carolla
Do us a solid. The handful of people in the stands will not be grossed out enough. Go to the. And go to liquor stores. Like, one. There's always that one by the high school. You know, run over to the liquor store and get us some tobacco. And she's like, all right. And she took off and she came back with a big sack of loose tobacco that you'd roll to make a pipe or something. Yeah, I ate the shit anyway. Yeah, why not? Wanted the leafy red. By the way, if you're gonna dip, get the red, man. Stuff, like the leafy shit.
Natasha Leggero
Listen up, kids.
Gina Grad
All I remember when I tried it one time was my heart started racing and I got really nauseous.
Brian Bishop
That's a Ton of nickname.
Gina Grad
That's all I remember.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, yeah, it's. Yeah. All right, let's. One more.
Gina Grad
All right. Well, the Mayweather Pacquiao fight on May 2 officially destroyed all time boxing records for pay per view buys. According to espn, the initial figures released Tuesday by Showtime and HBO show that more than 4.4 million pay per view telecasts of the fight were purchased in the US generating more than $400 million in revenue. Also, the fight generated over 72 million from the sale of around 16,000 tickets just in the arena alone.
Adam Carolla
If anybody wants to watch a really good fight. Carnello. Anthony. No, that's Anthony Carnello.
Natasha Leggero
He's a hell of a player.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, sure. No, Carnello. I'll think of his last name. Not Carmelo. James Kirkland, I think would be the other guy. Two and a half rounds, fucking slugfest. And much, much better than Alvarez. Carnello. Alvarez. Yeah, yeah, Carnello ALVAREZ. He was 41 and 1 and James Kirkland was like 31 and 1 or something like that. And that, that was the fight. Like, you know when you watch the Pacquiao fight and you went, ah, shit. This fight which happened following Saturday, you went, oh, yeah, that's why I like boxing. Like, just two dudes just squaring up and you know that thing where, you know, you're watching a good fight where midway through the second round, one of the announcers goes, is there any way this is going to the scorecards? And the other two guys just start laughing like, that means that's on. Fucking slugfest. That means it's on. And you always want to hear, is there any way this thing's going to the scorecard? Somewhere around two or three.
Natasha Leggero
Followed by laughter, you.
Adam Carolla
Followed by hysterical laughter. And some knee slapping. Doesn't happen anymore either.
Brian Bishop
And the release of the 120 dogs, right?
Adam Carolla
That's right. All right, let's bring it home.
Gina Grad
I'm Gina Grad, and that's the news.
Adam Carolla
Gina. Gina. That was the news with Gina Grad. Castrol Oil. Love these guys. Great motor oil. Intelligent molecules. Oh, man. 75% of the engine wear occurs during warmup, which can last up to 20 minutes. So the short trips just to the cornerback to get some chalk. Beth Ringwald going to the corner and back to get some dip for the team, man. That's 75% of the wear on her 1981 Corolla, I think took place then. New Castrol GTX Magnetek. It clings to the critical engine parts. So even when the engine's off. It's still there. So during warmup you don't do the damage, man. Last, it leaves the critical engine parts four times smoother. It's good for what ails you, man. If you love your car, you love that's a pretty big investment. Let's take care of it. Available at walmart autozone and quick lube centers. Castrol man, gtx, magnetek. It clings to the parts, man. I don't know why I love oil so much. I love oil. All right, let's see me my doc available on iTunes. Winning the racing life of Paul newman. I think the audience has it at 97. Don't be a 1 upper like I said before. So how bad can it be? Lots of live shows, lots of live dates. Again, Indianapolis. I'll be there with my son will be watching the race and you can come see the doc. All the money's going to charity and it'll be at an IMAX. So go to AdamCrawl.com and find out tickets and all that stuff. Alex Winter deep web premiere May 31. Yep. Circle your calendar. May 31, 8pm on epics and Alex Winter.com is where you go if you want to find out anything about any of the movies, anything coming up, whatsoever the book available. You can pre order that. Stop talking daddy and manhattany rottentomatoes.com so until next time, Adam perl for Manhattany, Alex winter. Tina graduated and bald Ryan saying mahalo. So I watched rose and the winning. It was great. All right.
Natasha Leggero
This is adam Krul show 1575 with.
Adam Carolla
Matt, actually Alex winter, Gina grad and Brian bishop. Up next, we have Adam Kroll show 1584.
Natasha Leggero
We have Natasha leggero, Gina grad and Brian bishop. Also in 2015.
Adam Carolla
Oh, oh. O'Reilly Auto Parts. O'Reilly Auto Parts is in the business of keeping your car on the road. They offer friendly, helpful service and parts and knowledge that you're going to need to maintain and do the repairs yourself. I've always used o'reilly. I've used to hit the one up on foothill when I was in la crescento renting a house, keeping that isuzu trooper on the road. And they got thousands of parts and accessories and stuff either in their store or online. So you have. Well, you don't have to worry if you're in a jam, you can go online and get your stuff. You can go into a store and get your stuff. The team at o'reilly auto parts can test your battery for free in or out of your car, which is nice because sometimes it's tough to get those babies out of the car. You need your windshield wipers replaced, brake light fixed or a quick service? Well, they'll help you find the right part or point you to the nearest local repair shop as well and get help there. Whether you're a car aficionado or an auto novice, you're going to find the employees at O'Reilly Auto Parts are knowledgeable, helpful and best of all, they're friendly. The professional parts people at O'Reilly O'Reilly Auto Parts one stop shop for everything, especially if you're do it yourself or for your car in store online, you can stop by O'Reilly Auto Parts and do it today or Visit us online. O'Reilly auto.com Adam that's O'Reilly auto.com Adam.
Natasha Leggero
We'Ll be back in honor of our first studio show back all together, the old gang.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Jeez. Christ, been gone for so long. Started off by flying a private jet to Indianapolis, which was just goddamn awesome. And courtesy of Indy, courtesy of Norm Pattis from podcast one. He is the rich uncle you never had. True. And a good dude. And put Sonny on the plane and flew out there with Mike August and Chris Maxapata who I'm enjoying this life through his eyes and mouth because the free booze and the never ending cheese.
Natasha Leggero
Platter, he's like Pac Man.
Adam Carolla
It is life is his pellets. Unbelievable. We met here at about 9:30 in the morning. We were going to drive out to the Van Nuys airport. That's where they fly most of private jets out of over here. Of course, I was behind the wheel. The porcelain punisher was in tow because he was going to have to drive the car home after we dropped ourselves off. Tell me if there's any exaggeration to this story. We were traveling along Sherman Way, getting ready to turn left, running a couple moments late. Look, when a guy is going to spend $65,000 on a flight that wasn't, that's both ways. But I don't know. Still could have been 70. Listen, did the math with James Baby Doll Dixon in Manhattan, the man who knows what every plane is per hour. And it's, you know, low end. Eight grand an hour for the kind of plane we're flying in. And we're going one way, four hours. Then he's turned around, coming back. We're moving on to New York. But either way, you don't want to keep that dude waiting for all of you.
Natasha Leggero
About to travel private to Indianapolis, we're sitting.
Adam Carolla
We're sitting at the left turn arrow. And the fucking. What drives me nuts is when the fucking signal cycles where it goes all the way through, turns green and then goes all the way through again and still no okay to turn left.
Natasha Leggero
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
And the car behind us is now pulled in at an angle because we've run out of turn off space. There's about 80ft. You can probably stack up seven or eight cars and then the next one is just going to be hanging out into the left lane of the two lane highway.
Natasha Leggero
All right, guys, who had minute three in the office pool for Adam to get enraged? I think I was at 4 or 5.
Adam Carolla
So once. All right, we didn't go the first time. Once. The thing cycled once, but once it came and went again, I said, fuck this. And I pulled out and I pulled in the left lane and I pulled in front of everyone and I tucked my way in. And then the biggest fucking puss on the planet started honking the horn.
Gina Grad
Sure you weren't playing by the rules?
Adam Carolla
What are we to do when it's never going to turn? And what is more dangerous, me sliding out and sliding in front and just sitting in the intersection waiting to turn left or hanging out, cars piling up behind me and hanging out into the left, into the left light.
Natasha Leggero
Gang bangers licking their chops.
Adam Carolla
What? Little dispute over who honked. Did we ever figure that we think it was number one in line head pussy, number one grand puss spa. The fucking pussy begrade. Right, Chris? Is that the guy was doing the honking? That had to have been the guy. Am I exaggerating when I'm saying that the thing cycled two times? Like on the calendar I was on? We're going to infinity. My grandkids were gonna fucking find me entombed in this car here because I don't know when it was gonna turn. Went the complete cycle. It finished out the first one and then it went the complete cycle.
Natasha Leggero
Based on all available evidence, you'll be there till you died a lot longer.
Adam Carolla
Maxapata. Am I making this up? No. And that was quite a ballsy move. Why? Well, it just looked.
Natasha Leggero
Because you went, okay, you were like.
Adam Carolla
Seven cars, eight cars back, and you.
Natasha Leggero
Drove past all of them and went.
Adam Carolla
In front of them while they were just sitting there. I mean, well, if they. If this ever came up, it looked unconventional, judge ever since.
Natasha Leggero
Like a sidearm picture.
Adam Carolla
If the judge ever fucking said to me, hey man, you realize what you've done here? I'd go, I'd like To talk about. Except for I have a class action lawsuit against this entire fucking city for what you're doing to us. Oh, you're mad at me? I'm fucking rip shit at you. We're sitting here, cars are spilling out into the wrong lane. We're all fucking backed up and jacked up. And it's what, 10am on a. On a Friday? It's not heavy congestion time. Once I slid to the front. What did I do? You went in the middle of the intersection. You waited till it was clear, and you went like it was easy.
Gina Grad
You made a left turn.
Adam Carolla
Could we see straight away? How was visibility that day? It was a clean left. There was nobody coming. I could see 5,000 meters ahead of me. The only thing was that horn was the only thing that startled us. Otherwise it would. It didn't startle me. I'm used to sounding off their little pussy buttons that are attached to their steering wheel.
Natasha Leggero
You Gina, this is pre. Pre trip, right?
Gina Grad
Sure. And did you give him the finger or you just keep moving?
Adam Carolla
I give him the ultimate finger, which is my tail lights as I head off to my destination, while you just sit there in the middle of the street waiting for the man who's clearly fucked up to let you know it's okay to turn when it has been okay to turn for eight minutes now. Fuck that. And why does this never come up? I mean, I may have brought it up once or twice. No, why. Why is the city not into this? I don't.
Natasha Leggero
Stop talking.
Adam Carolla
I don't get it.
Gina Grad
I have a question for Max Apata, but I don't know if he's gonna be honest about it.
Adam Carolla
Hey.
Gina Grad
Honestly?
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Gina Grad
Were you a little bit afraid when he pulled that move?
Adam Carolla
It just felt scared. I was a little uncomfortable, but I could see why, and I was happy it happened. Okay, I want to pitch in because I was also in the back in the car.
Natasha Leggero
I might leave.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. I believe when he made the left turn, we all went woo.
Brian Bishop
Like it was pretty awesome.
Gina Grad
Like Natalia Zipline.
Brian Bishop
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
All right, look, it's up to everyone. Since the city ain't going to do it for you to do it for yourself, just fucking do it. They're not going to help. And. And as best I could tell, we were just going to sit there. I don't know. Maybe things would have changed at some point. But the next car behind us was in the intersection. Or not the intersection was in the lane, the left lane. It's two lanes and then the shoulder. Or not the shoulder, but the turn in to turn left. Yeah, the dedicated lane. They were starting to spill out now. So that, to me, is not a safe place to be. Which is half hanging out into the fast of the two lanes, theoretically. And then there's a move where the person that's heading at you has to either stop and clog up the left lane or do a weird move where they get around you real quick, which means looking and turning at the same time, which could sideswipe somebody dangerous either way. Yes. Okay. What the fuck? And this is in piece of shit Van Nuys, California.
Natasha Leggero
Thanks for using his full name.
Adam Carolla
Yes. Nobody. Nobody's come up with this? No hands being raised. Well, let's try to book whoever's in charge of fucking traffic. They're fucking cowards. Who would never, never come on here. I just don't see how that line gets any shorter. Like it. How could it get shorter?
Natasha Leggero
Or why it's not like 15 cars deep.
Adam Carolla
Well, there was. It was. It was light traffic during the time we were there. And we were number 8 and 10, 11 and 12 were pulling it, but we're queuing up behind us. I don't know when that line ever goes away. Yes. All right. Fuck everyone. And listen, everybody. All this shit feels weird at first. It shouldn't. Just do it. Just do it. Just everybody. I really mean it. Just fucking do it. It's your fucking life. It's your life.
Natasha Leggero
Liberate yourself.
Adam Carolla
Liberate yourself and you get a ticket. You'll win because the thing's not calibrated. It's not done correctly.
Natasha Leggero
Ticket winning, not guaranteed.
Adam Carolla
Well, if I could ever get one.
Natasha Leggero
I'm trying to help you.
Adam Carolla
I'm at the point now where I actually hope I get a ticket so I can go fucking fight this shit and go fucking nuts on these assholes. Mean Gargos. Getting it fucking done together again for the first time.
Natasha Leggero
One injustice after the other.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. All right.
Natasha Leggero
How was the private jet? Want to hear about something nice?
Adam Carolla
Awesome. Awesome.
Gina Grad
Did Sunny appreciate it?
Adam Carolla
You think Sonny had a good time on that jet? We all.
Natasha Leggero
For a lifetime of flying commercial. I finally got to fly private.
Gina Grad
Kick his feet up.
Adam Carolla
Got to. Got to swing the chairs. You know, the chairs pivot around and like swing out. The food was fucking awesome. Max, Pat and I had a couple of single malt scotches on there. It was amazing. I can't even really give it any justice for how amazing it was. It was so cool. But I never want to fly ever again. The best part is you get out of your car, you walk right through A place. And you just walk right onto the.
Gina Grad
Plane, Brady Bunch style.
Adam Carolla
Yes, yes. In a world of insane humiliation at the airport.
Natasha Leggero
It's that. And it's also, I mean, when you're on someone else's jet, that's one thing, but the no time, you know what I mean? It's not. The flight leaves at 350. The flight leaves when you get there. There they'll get ready and they'll put your bags on.
Adam Carolla
You go that and getting off the jet and just walking right into your car. Or in this case, a van where we all just pile into it. Goes right. There's just zero. Who's gonna rent the car? Who's gonna wait by the baggage carousel? You know that mess? Where is the baggage carousel?
Natasha Leggero
The indignity of just the way, which we all do all day, all year, is on the plane waiting to get off. When people to file out, each little. Laying each row, filing out, waiting your bag, squeezing your bag in, checking your bag.
Adam Carolla
Yes, yes, it is fucking awesome. But it is one of these things where it's kind of like. I don't even think they have it anymore. But they. They used to have gas stations that were full service if you wanted to pay full service. I don't see it so much.
Natasha Leggero
The full service.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. And the full service, to me, at least as I recall, was a number that said, leave us the fuck alone. Like, we're gonna. We're gonna scale this so nobody ever.
Natasha Leggero
Asks us beyond the reach.
Gina Grad
Right.
Adam Carolla
We're in a Lucite coffin right now. Speaking through a hole, which gives everyone an accent.
Natasha Leggero
Do you understand in Oregon it's illegal to pump your own gas?
Gina Grad
Same with Jersey.
Adam Carolla
It would be nice if that was. Well, oh, we only pay the highest gas. Gas prices in the United States. There's a picture of us getting on the fucking flight. You can go down corolla.com but that is a real plane. Either way. Yes. The thing about private jets, they price them like they don't want you to use them.
Natasha Leggero
They're very expensive.
Gina Grad
Really weed out the undesirable.
Adam Carolla
It's literally.
Natasha Leggero
Don't make it something. You could pull your money into a.
Adam Carolla
Party, somebody going, yeah, it's about 10 grand an hour. And then they go, but it's 6 grand to get it out of the hangar. And then after that it'll be ten grand an hour. And you'll be thinking, oh, fuck it, let's just go southwest. And the math never works out because you can't go, oh, great, we'll get a plane that holds 35 people. And then we'll each have them chip in 500 bucks. And then I'll be. No, there is no.
Natasha Leggero
That's 25,000. Yeah, right, right.
Adam Carolla
This does not work that way. But there was Sonny. I was. I was. I was living not through Sonny, but through little Maxapata, your other son. So it was awesome. And how fucking good is that kid? Oh, he's easy.
Natasha Leggero
Maxapata.
Adam Carolla
We go straight from there to the hotel and unpack and just get in our wear and head right to the imax, Right? Yeah. He so behaved. He stands next to the stage the entire time. I do my spiel up there for 45 minutes, kind of secretly wanting to get on stage. Then we.
Natasha Leggero
Like a tiny bouncer.
Adam Carolla
Then he goes in and sees the movie he's seen 28 times winning the Racing Life Paul Newman. Then goes back outside the IMAX and stands next to me while I take pictures with every yacht. I mean, fan who came out there to support us. Never fucking says a word other than stands next to me the entire time. And then we make the proclamation. We're not going back to the hotel. We're going to St. Elmo's famous, famous steakhouse in Indy that everyone says, you gotta go there and get the horseradish shrimp cocktail. And he's what, waiting in the cab? Waiting for the cab. Going to the place? Waiting for the table. Max Pratt. We went through a couple bottles of wine at that table, but we were sitting there. Must have been 12:30 at night, right? It was. Yeah, it was late. It was after the movie. It felt really late. Yes, I think. Yeah, I think we got out at, like 1. Yeah, 1:30 or something. Did that little shift complain one time?
Natasha Leggero
Nope. Even out the shrimp cocktail.
Gina Grad
And I'm sorry, is he in a pinstripe seersucker suit? Because that kid has a fashion.
Natasha Leggero
Tiny bouncer.
Adam Carolla
That's the only. That's the only. That's the only suit he has.
Gina Grad
Is he off to the Kentucky Derby after that? Because that is phenomenal.
Adam Carolla
Since I'm done with his bonnet. You know what was funny, too, is we were sitting. When I got home, my wife had been going through all the old videos and putting them together onto the television set and doing this, downloading them onto a hard drive and blah, blah, blah, which is really nice. So we got to sit down and watch old videos.
Natasha Leggero
Is this the TiVo thing you're talking about?
Adam Carolla
This is. This. Yeah, it's the TiVo thing that goes into a thing called a kaleidoscape okay.
Natasha Leggero
You're trying to get the old stuff off of your old TiVo or DVR or whatever it was.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. But you can also load disks and things into it. So it's like one big hard drive that holds everything and it makes it a lot easier. You label it and blah, blah, blah. So we're sitting there and we're pulling up old footage. I mean, old videos. And they're these two sitting in the bathtub together like 10 months old, 11 months old. And Sonny's quietly playing with his little thing. And every time we hand Natalia the little toy, she chucks it at, at Olga. And we're telling her, no, no, here's your toy. Play with the wire. Sonny's playing with the wire. And every time it gets hand or it gets thrown at her certain point I try to give her a kiss, she gives me a headbutt. The whole.
Gina Grad
She's like she's in some sort of internment camp trying to get free.
Adam Carolla
Whatever it is, whatever it is, it starts poking through before they can speak. Like their personalities, us fucking sitting around and having an endless dialogue about inspiring your children and using this, you know, creativity. And they is who they is in terms of their personality. Now, you definitely can fuck them up and you can definitely push them in the right direction. Wrong and right direction. But their sort of core of him being like super laid back and super mellow. And again, his day started at 8:30am at my house and ended in Indianapolis at about 1am back at our hotel. Not a peep the entire time. The following morning, Daddy slept in to wake up. We slept in the same bed to wake up to him playing with his Rubik's Cube. The quietest thing he could think to do. Yeah.
Natasha Leggero
And it was like 1:30 and we.
Adam Carolla
Walked back to the hotel. Like, I forgot how many blocks away it was. But usually everyone's saying, let's take a car. And then someone's like, oh, let's just walk. And it was about a 15, 20.
Natasha Leggero
Minute walk, drunk off scotch.
Gina Grad
And you woke up to him playing with a carbon based toy. Not like an app on a phone.
Adam Carolla
Yes. Yes.
Gina Grad
That's adorable.
Adam Carolla
Was there a peep out of that kid the entire weekend? No.
Natasha Leggero
It was weird.
Adam Carolla
We're going to Indianapolis, you know, we're going to the 500. There's not like, daddy, why? Want to go to the. Huh? I want to get some before we go to the. You know, or I'm thirsty or I'm hungry or where's Mommy? You know, just call Mommy. Get Mommy. You know. No. Here we go. Wow. Yep. Awesome. It's like a little fanny pack just towed him along. All right, so that's.
Gina Grad
How did he get home? How'd that go?
Adam Carolla
Well.
Gina Grad
Or is that a touchy subject?
Natasha Leggero
No, he's still in.
Adam Carolla
It's not. He went home with Nate Adams, who I made the movies with, and then Max Pat as well. A little controversy at the. Probably shouldn't be talking about it, but come on. At the room. Well, no, I'm doing. I'm saying I probably shouldn't be talking about. Because I could get into trouble. But anyway, it was Sunday morning, right? I don't know, Sunday at noon, something like that, right? Oh, no shit. Was it later, you guys? Really? Oh, it was after the Indy on Sunday, like 5:30 or something. You guys were gonna leave for the.
Natasha Leggero
Airport and you got there on Friday.
Adam Carolla
We got there on Friday. And I was kind of coaching him up the whole time. Like, here's your room key. Remember? What room. What room are we in? 2617. All right, so what floor are we on? 26th floor. Here's your room key. You use your room key, you know, just kind of giving them that sort of thing. And Maxapata and Nate were down in the lobby and he was getting ready to leave, like 5:30. And I said, he had a little suitcase with the wheels on it. He was all dressed up. He had his Petey the Panda and Owl Yowl and his two blankies and all this stuff all tucked in.
Natasha Leggero
His service stuffies? His emotional support selfie stuff?
Adam Carolla
Yes. And I said, all right, now, Chris and Nate are waiting for you in the lobby of the hotel. And he said, okay. And I said, all right, give me a kiss. And he said, are you going to walk me down to the lobby? And I said, no, you can just go to the elevator, press lobby and pop out like I taught him to do. And he just dragged his little bag behind him and he went to his thing. And I knew Max Zapata, who told me, we got Sunny. Three minutes later, he sent me a text. Also, we are staying in Indianapolis, which is the safest, cleanest, nicest city in the world. And the hotel is filled with a bunch of just rich white people. That's about it. There to watch the race. But, you know, I know my wife would have been like, you didn't walk him down to the. Here's what I want to say. No, I did not. I felt very safe about it. We'd gone up and down the elevator a million times in the few days we Were there that meeting down at the lobby and back up to the 26th floor. There is something to be gained from a little independence. Yeah. For me.
Natasha Leggero
Plus you had a beer from the night before.
Adam Carolla
Yes.
Natasha Leggero
It wasn't going to drink itself.
Adam Carolla
I needed him to and I wanted him to go, all right, I can handle this one. I got this one. And he walked down and there he was. He was raped violently in the elevator. But other than that.
Natasha Leggero
There he was.
Adam Carolla
Other than that.
Gina Grad
Worse for wear.
Adam Carolla
No. He's super calm. We got him. We asked if his dad was there.
Natasha Leggero
He's like, nope. Got up, grabbed his bag and just started walking to the door with us.
Gina Grad
He probably felt pretty good about that. I know I would have at that age.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Was not panicked at all. All right. So that was a wonderful indie weekend. I should tell you guys that. Yeah, I did go on the Mario and Ready Mobile. I didn't real the two seater. The two seat Indy car.
Natasha Leggero
Awesome.
Adam Carolla
Well, I'll get into more detail. Don't change that.
Natasha Leggero
Dial anyone.
Adam Carolla
Stamps.com. not sure if there is a dial stamps.com. oh, man. How great would it be to never go to the post office again, huh? How great would it be if you had Your own post office 24. 7 Just in your office, in your living room. Stamps.com. buy and print official US Post. We use it here. Any letter, any package. Do it on your computer. Do it on your schedule. Get the exact postage you need. No overpaying. That is the whole thing. I never. I would never. I would have no. This coffee mug. I should probably finish the coffee.
Natasha Leggero
It's full or empty.
Adam Carolla
Either way. I would never say. I would have no idea how much to get this thing sent to you. Indianapolis.
Natasha Leggero
Cover it in stamps and hope for the best.
Adam Carolla
That's all you do. But now they're stamps dot com. They have a special offer. You get the scale so you weigh it exact, right. Postage comes right out of your computer. Go to stamps.com before you do anything else. Click on the microphone, top of the homepage. Type in Adam that stamps dot com. They got a deal. $110 bonus offer, 55 bucks, free postage. Why would you not do this? Stamps dot com. Enter Adam. All right, so all weekend it's the. You're driving. They brought me there to drive with Mario, which means sit in the back while Mario drives and you get a lot of this. Mario's a great driver, but he's. I don't know. How old is Mario? Trey, you know, 73 years old. You know, things can happen and then people are like, oh, no, no, no, it's not, not 165. It's 180. He does 180 and 75 years old. Most people don't want to go 180 with a 75 year old behind the wheel, but I got it. And then everyone starts in with this, you know, Indy, it's not banked. It's not banked. So when you're heading down that straightaway and you start going into that turn one you don't. It's not banked. It'll freak you out.
Natasha Leggero
Banked means tilted.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, it's like Daytona or something. It's kind of flat, so it seems weird. It looks like you're just going into this wall, you know. And I'm like, okay, I'm all right. And then the people are like, how are you as a passenger? Like, we know you like to race and stuff, but how are you as a passenger? And I'm getting to the point where I'm like, I was okay, yeah, more talking, keep going. And then of course there's always that, you know, I got this guy too. Like the one guy goes, yeah, they offered me to do it, but I don't think so. Life's too precious or something. Like one of those things. And I said to him, you know, I haven't done it yet. And he went, oh, no, I didn't know that. I thought you did. And I'm like, no, I haven't.
Natasha Leggero
I thought I was talking to your ghost.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, so it is pretty cool. Except for they put you in the back and you know, for me there's always the. Everything is made. Everything in racing is made for guys that are 5, 9, maybe 5, 7. Anybody over 6 foot is just going to feel. There's a weird feeling. There's claustrophobia. Claustrophobia is not a good feeling. But claustrophobia mixed with speed feels very uncomfortable because it's a. I am in this little thing and if shit happens, I'm long. So your knees are kind of up to your chest. You get in the back, they put the. It's funny. It's not a. They don't. It's. There's not a lot of science to it. I'm very confused about this part of life. About a week before they go, would you like to turn a lady with Mario Andretti in the two seater Honda Indy car? And I say my first kind of impression is it's something. So. No, but all right, we're going anyway. Sounds cool. And Then the next impression is, well, when is it? The day before or after the race? No, you'll be leading the race. You'll be the first out. You're number one. You're ahead of the pace car, like with 300,000 people there. And then you're kind of like, you know, up on the Jumbotron, they'll interview you before you get in the car. And then, and we're bringing out here for this. And you're like, wow, okay. And then you get to the race and they're like, hey, what shoe size are you? Because I've got you. I brought you 11, but I don't know what size you are. And I thought this really could have been handled in an email. I'm glad you're guessing what size protective fireproof shoes. But what if I was a size 13, I'd just be wearing my sneakers. Like why. And then he brought two fire suits. Not Mario, but the other guy. I brought you a large. I heard you were tall. It's like you heard we're exchanging emails.
Natasha Leggero
Yeah. Could have been handled very efficiently and effectively.
Adam Carolla
You can say to Matt Von what's shoe size? And he'd write 11. And you could write what long? Well, he wears a 42 long in a jacket. So you do the math. Or he's 62190. Whatever it is. But no discussion beforehand. Just a lot of guessing. Yeah.
Gina Grad
How do you feel safe when they just got lucky.
Adam Carolla
And then maybe he was trying to.
Natasha Leggero
Push you at ease. Like, eh, it doesn't really matter.
Adam Carolla
I tried a helmet on. It was too sloppy. And then he went and got another helmet. It's like. But it's a weird thing because I have helmets, I have fire suits, I have all the stuff. I have shoes with sizes like this is one email away from removing all the guesswork. And then very precise, as I'm tying up the Simpson protective fireproof little booty they put you in. I notice that it's like, it's that, it's that like nylon, you know, when a shoelace gets all frayed out where it starts. It becomes like one big foreskin over a very small. Or it just starts rolling, rolling past itself.
Natasha Leggero
Let me imagine that the outer part.
Adam Carolla
Starts going past the. And it's, it's sort of I'm tying with the little thin little fibers that are left and stuff. And so it's that part two where you just want to go, somebody should probably switch this out. Swap the laces out every once in a blue moon.
Natasha Leggero
This dollar item, this $50 cent item.
Adam Carolla
Only celebrities that are doing this. This isn't like I understand when you're at the local bowling alley and there's, you know, 1400 shoes and some kids complaining or some drunk guy wants a new shoe, you know, shoelace breaks or whatever, and you're shooting Fabrize in it. This is only celebrities going 180 miles an hour. Who you've invited, who you've invited via an email.
Natasha Leggero
More important people.
Adam Carolla
So it was, it was, you know, there's a little bit of, okay, well, you got lucky on the shoe size because I do wear an 11. Yeah, I figured it was, but I don't know why you figure. Just email it. So you get into the car. First thing you do is you just stand on the. At the brickyard where the stripe of brick goes across the start finish line while the planes are flying over. And you just stand there while every single driver walks past you and is announced and give you a thumbs up.
Gina Grad
Did you know all their names?
Adam Carolla
I knew a lot of them. A lot of them had been on Carcast and been in the Paul Newman documentary. Guys like Graham Rahal and Sebastian Bourdain, guys like that. Also. The reason I'm laughing is because the day before we were behind Sebastian Bourdain, that's the guy's won four championships for Newman Haas Racing. We just went to rent these pedal boats. They had a little lake that goes by the hotel. And we just went want to rent them. And it is an interest. There's two pieces of logic I got while I was on this trip. One is Mike August, when he said.
Natasha Leggero
Well, he said logic.
Adam Carolla
I said, Sebastian Bourdain, his whole family was just in front of us, just out for a sort of leisurely paddle. You just pedal the boat around the thing and, you know, it's fun and it's nice. And Mike August says, as we're all like walking back to the hotel or something, goes, how much is that? Like five bucks an hour? And I said, no, 30 bucks an hour. And he's like, 30 bucks? I said, Mike, $5 an hour for this boat that probably costs two grand that you only stay on for an hour because you can really only pedal around for an hour before you fucking had enough pedaling around. How can you make money for $5 an hour?
Natasha Leggero
And he said, profit margins.
Adam Carolla
He said, well, that's what I'd pay. And I said, yeah, but Mike, they're not interested in what the cheapest man on the planet would pay. They're interested in turning A profit, you understand? Well, that's what I'd pay. He applied the logic to the private jet earlier with say, one, which is.
Gina Grad
What's the number?
Adam Carolla
Oh, he had it. He had basically an $80,000 round trip flight at 10 to 15K, because he would max out. That's where he'd be. Later on when I, I was in New York and I was doing Kill Mead and Friends and I was doing a thing where I go, look, and I can't get this right. They go, you want some coffee? And I go, yeah, give me some coffee. You like a little cream? And I said, just a little milk, but just a splash. Just a little splash of milk. Because I'm constantly having to just send it back because I can see it when they hand it to me that they filled it with milk. I go to his producer, nice lady, I said, just a splash, just a little bit. Just a little splash. All right, Hands it back. I look at it and I go, oh, this is way too much. And she said, well, I drink it with a lot of milk. So I did about half of what I would like. And I was like, that is fantastic logic. That does not apply to anything I like a lot. So I just cut my allotment in half.
Natasha Leggero
You gave about as good a measurement as you can give without giving an actual number. That's a splash of milk.
Gina Grad
In her mind, a splash is a quarter cup.
Adam Carolla
Now we know her logic was ridiculous. She liked a lot.
Natasha Leggero
She goes, I. I like a ton of milk.
Adam Carolla
So for me, that was a splash. Yeah. She said, but I'm not. Please do not factor in your own coffee drinking habits when taking orders. Well, then she, she expanded her opinions and said, well, it's instant, instant Starbucks. Which I didn't know the hand. Yeah, yeah, dump it right? But she said, it's better than the regular. And I said, Starbucks would be out of business if It's. If it's 71% of the regular, that, that, that'll be fine. But I've never. The kind where you dump in the powder and then the hot water, adjust your own measurements.
Natasha Leggero
This is a woman who likes tons and tons and tons of cream.
Adam Carolla
It was nowhere near the regular, but anywho. So Sebastian Bourdain, good guy, and he was just out paddling and peddling about the drivers for doing something that is essentially risking their lives going 230 miles an hour. These are some of the most hang loose, easygoing, friendly guys. Before the race, literally didn't see a guy crack his knuckles, just Chris Am I making this up.
Natasha Leggero
It was like a party.
Adam Carolla
It was a social event.
Natasha Leggero
Right before, in the room, right before.
Adam Carolla
They walk out there, everyone just talking, taking pictures, just seeing how everybody was doing, like it was relaxed. Before they get in the car, they're just. Hey, Mario. Oh, hey, Adam. What's happening? Hey, how's it going? Oh, let's get a selfie here.
Natasha Leggero
These are athletes, everyone.
Adam Carolla
Right.
Gina Grad
So there's no like tension. The palpable rivalries.
Adam Carolla
You can't. Here's the thing. If you have a part of you that is freaked out about going 232 miles an hour for 500 miles, you're not getting in that car. If you're the person that's sort of sweating and rolling his head around and feeling a lot of tension, you ain't in the. You're not in the conversation. You either. The only way, and I've said it a million times, cage fighters, race car drivers, you have to have no pulse because once they put you into that bucket and strapped you down, you would fucking freak out. You literally just freak.
Natasha Leggero
Yeah. Especially the high level, like the Indy 500. Like you're. By the time you get there, they weed it out. All the people who are nerves, pudgel nerves or whatever it is.
Adam Carolla
Yes, yes. You wouldn't do it. I mean, when you get just me climbing into the two seater, they put this horse collar thing that snaps you in. They pull the straps down over. You got the hat and the. I don't know, is it the Bella? Bella Calva. Bella Calva, Bella. Clava. Can't remember what it is. It's a head sock. Put a sock on your head so you won't incinerate your head. Won't catch on fire.
Gina Grad
So they're essentially trying to induce a panic attack.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, no, they are. Once you get into the fire suit and every part of you is covered up and they cinch down the helmet real tight and pull your six way harness around and start pulling it down real tight. And then they clip you into this little area. You're just clipped in in front of 300,000 people and now you're not going anywhere.
Natasha Leggero
There's no. Yeah, plenty of return.
Adam Carolla
He started going around, but he couldn't pick up speed because one of the cars caught on fire. Balaclava, you know, that's what the hood is called those guys wear. He couldn't get into it because they ran the first like two laps under caution or something. And I don't know, we got up to, I don't know, 100 miles an hour. I don't know. Felt like nothing. But. But I had this thing where we kept. I was. Kept waiting to go, like, when are we going to do this? And it just never happened. He just got out of the car, shaking his head. That was it.
Gina Grad
I like that he was picking.
Adam Carolla
He wanted to do it. He just wanted. He wanted to go for it. And he still pretty sweet. Oh, listen, look, if you're on a moped behind Jeffrey Dahmer, John, or today, what if he was still alive?
Natasha Leggero
Okay, okay, okay.
Adam Carolla
And you were just doing a lap in fucking dolphin shorts, it would still be hot. It would still be awesome. Like just. Just going around the circuit. I just had my hand out the entire time doing a huge parade lap. Just everyone cheering, all the campers in the infield. Like everyone. This anticipation and everything just going around behind Mario Andretti, just on two or three. Just parade laps were enough.
Natasha Leggero
I know comedy is about the specifics, but was Jeffrey Dahmer known for his slow gait?
Adam Carolla
I'm trying to think of a despicable guy in a slow mode of transportation. Still fucking do it.
Natasha Leggero
I thought you were following Dahmer, who was marching.
Adam Carolla
No, he's driving, he's riding the moped and you're sitting, bitch.
Natasha Leggero
In that case, it wouldn't be as cool, but still kind of cool.
Adam Carolla
All right, we have. Let's see. So if you guys. If you guys want a little window into my world, then it was off to New York. And then all the morning shows, who.
Natasha Leggero
Went where and on what vehicle, the.
Adam Carolla
Kid, Sonny and Maxapata and Nate Adams all came back Sunday night, flew commercial back. Sonny got dropped off at the house at like 10:00 at night. Mike and I stayed the night and then flew out on Monday to fly to New York to then begin the media tour for Daddy Stop Talking, which started off well, it's kind of funny. We did cbs. Was it CBS this Morning. And walked into the green room and there was a picture that. All the pictures of Obama and Brad Pitt and everything. There's a big picture of me right next to Brad Pitt.
Gina Grad
Wow, that's something.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. And I. You gotta be shitting me.
Natasha Leggero
I appreciate that kind of flattery.
Adam Carolla
And then I realized, wait a minute, I must have fucking complained about this last time I was on the show, because I do they always. All their green rooms are filled at every show. Tonight show, back in the day, Kimmel's show, they're all filled with pictures of guests they'd rather have that day or that night than you sure?
Gina Grad
Actually, did it make you wildly uncomfortable to see Obama, Brad Pitt and you? Because that's a little flashy.
Adam Carolla
I. No, I knew something was afoot. There was treachery afoot. I knew it. I said, no way. My picture was every bit as big as Brad Pitt's and it was sitting right there. You know, actually, Gary, I took a picture on my phone if you want to grab it. I think it might even be in my car. And I said, something's up, but I couldn't figure it out. Like what's. What are they doing? Are they just trying to blow smoke? Trying to make me feel good? Did I bring a hilarious complain about this last time? Yeah, but they do it with Tom Hanks's picture. It was. And it was, I mean, it was like Michelle Obama, Brad Pitt, Tom Hanks, like everybody. And then a big picture of me. And sure enough, they did it as a goof.
Gina Grad
Oh.
Adam Carolla
Because I was complaining about it last time.
Natasha Leggero
Although pretty funny, good for them.
Adam Carolla
Have a sense of humor and God love that Gayle King reads the entire book. Comes in with five loose pieces of notebook paper, that's handwritten notes on both sides of it, turning it over, showing me going, what do you want to talk about? And just read the whole thing on a plane. Loved it. Blah, blah, blah. Could not be more professional or better. At a certain point, end up doing Wednesday night show with Lisa Lampanelli at Deck Carolines. And then my busiest day is going to be Thursday and Thursday is going to be the radio tour in the morning. And then when you're done with the radio tour, it's right off to Fox and friends and O'Reilly or whatever. Whatever it is, just tip. I think O'Reilly was the day before outnumbered and what all the shows, whatever it is. But it's going to start with the radio tour and I thought I'd just play a little clip.
Gina Grad
Oh, please don't be me.
Adam Carolla
Please don't have a sound of. Yeah, Gina was on it.
Gina Grad
That was fun. We got to have a little chit.
Adam Carolla
Chat of me being beleaguered. Now keep in mind, I'm signing books at midnight at Caroline's the night that night.
Natasha Leggero
And then it's radar tour starts promptly.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, it's 7:30, whatever it is, but I don't get back to my room till 12:30. And by the way, I'm running on fumes now because I've been going the whole, the whole time. I'm not going to mention anyone's names. I'm not here to Call out anybody. But here is me. I think about my 9th or 10th radio station. How are you, sir? I'm doing well. How are you doing?
Brian Bishop
I'm doing good. I was perusing the book just what was before.
Adam Carolla
We will sell Daddy, stop talking. And other things your kids want, and you ain't getting it for him because you're a mean dude. But before that, what was President Me. Not the title. What was that book. Yeah, what was. I just. I did not. I wasn't aware of it because your boy Howard Lapidas wouldn't tell me. And I'm sure Gary's having some technical. So first off, let's talk about the other book, as I never heard of it.
Natasha Leggero
And also, it's a pet peeve of mine when people reference people who the audience doesn't know. Like your boy. This person, whoever it is.
Gina Grad
And he's not just referencing him, he's calling him out on not giving him the right information.
Natasha Leggero
Your boy Jimmy Kimmel, who we all know is.
Adam Carolla
No, I agree. This is a manager that I had. Well, it's been over a decade. Oh, yeah.
Natasha Leggero
No, no longer associated with. I should footnote all that.
Adam Carolla
Not at all. But nobody knows who he is.
Natasha Leggero
Yes.
Adam Carolla
Right. But that's. But anyway. And for some reason, some obsession with the book that came before, but not.
Gina Grad
That I think about.
Adam Carolla
Not that I loved it. So this one's going to be good, but I wasn't aware of it.
Natasha Leggero
Okay.
Adam Carolla
All right. Feeling good. Glad I got up for this one. Here we go. I just. I did not. I wasn't aware it because your boy Howard Lapidas wouldn't tell me.
Brian Bishop
And I'm sure I'd love to read it.
Adam Carolla
Well, you can. You can go to Amazon, probably get a used one for buck 89. I like new ones. I like kinda. It was a basic. I go there, and for four bucks you can get it. I wrote this, my fourth book. That was my third book that was just basically, this country and the world. If I was in charge. Well, that's the one I want to read. I want to read that one because I'm a. Pardon me, you may. I will not stop you. Thank you. Or dissuade you from reading that book. Thank you. Because this one I can't read. All right, now, you gotta. You gotta realize now they do these things in six and a half minute increments. You know, where it's like the other guys waiting on the line.
Natasha Leggero
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
And I'm also staring down the barrel of an endless day. And we're Going on lap number four about the book that came out a year and a half ago about how he can consume it or can't consume it.
Gina Grad
It sounds like he's just burning the clock. Like he's just saying weird stuff to throw everybody off until it's over.
Adam Carolla
All right, well, let's see what happens. So you and I have never met, Adam, but I requested you. I got shut out of the original tour. But you know, the fact that you have suffered with my friend Adam. Now the other thing is like that part where you gotta go. I got shut out of the tour. It's like it has nothing to do with me.
Natasha Leggero
I clearly make my own schedule. Yeah. Agenda.
Adam Carolla
Well, also, maybe this is why you're getting shut out of the tour.
Natasha Leggero
Yeah. If you don't have anything nice to say. I mean, there's not much here to. Yeah. Like.
Adam Carolla
All right, here we go. Original tour. But. But you know, the fact that you have suffered with my friend Adam. Adam. With my friend Howard Lapidas. And. And you obviously. Did you know Tripp also? All right, first off, use the whole name. Did you know Trip?
Gina Grad
But he doesn't seem like such an insider if he just. If he does that.
Natasha Leggero
Is this guy show like all inside showbiz stories?
Adam Carolla
Because then morning show.
Natasha Leggero
That's weird.
Adam Carolla
But so far we've covered the book that came before your ex manager and my ex.
Natasha Leggero
Everyone referenced the manager. Just your boy and another guy.
Gina Grad
Nobody's there.
Natasha Leggero
Yeah, first name only.
Adam Carolla
Oh, all right. Well, we'll see if we can figure out.
Natasha Leggero
I want to hear this guy sizzle reel.
Adam Carolla
I will try to clear up Tripp. Trip Reed. Yeah, yeah. Trip Reed was a station manager when I was at kroc. Well, Tripp was completely responsible for me being this lucky to have a 30 year radio career. Completely responsible. And then Howard, of course, was another story. I spent a bunch of years with Howard before you guys met him. And I thought that the Rolling Stones might have written that song under assistant west coast promotion. Man Howard is a special strange cat, but he. He started the man show that you were a star of. Correct? Well, Howard started it. Well, that's what he tells, you know, Howard. Oh, yeah, no, that was. That was me and Jimmy's idea. Well, what? But Howard's name was on it somehow. All right, well, what can I tell you? Go turn it on. I won't let my moderate to severe plaque psoriasis symptoms define me.
Gina Grad
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Adam Carolla
Serious allergic reactions may occur. Trimphia may increase your risk of infections and lower your ability to fight them. Before treating, your doctor should check you for infections and tuberculosis. Tell your doctor if you have an infection or symptoms of infection, including fever, sweats, chills, muscle aches, or cough. Tell your doctor if you had a vaccine or plan to emerge.
Gina Grad
As you learn more about Tremfya, including important safety information@tremfya.com or call 1-877-578-3527. See our ad in Food and Wine magazine. For patients prescribed Tremfya, cost support may be available.
Adam Carolla
Go ahead. Hey, I have a question out of my pocket. Hold on. Let me go look up the man show.
Natasha Leggero
Howard LeBlance must come up on his show all the time because he's talking about, like, the guy that everyone knows.
Adam Carolla
All right, so anyway, I'm getting up early to do a book tour.
Gina Grad
Yeah, I haven't mentioned it yet.
Adam Carolla
Book not called. I once knew Trip Reeb and Howard Lapidas. Right.
Natasha Leggero
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
All right.
Natasha Leggero
Solid subtitle.
Adam Carolla
Anyway, they can. You can hear what their reaction was. I didn't know about this, obviously, until after we hung up. Holy. What was up with that? Holy moly. Can I say three Holy moly. And the name of the book is Daddy, stop talking. It was like, daddy, please say something. Did he hang up on you?
Brian Bishop
No, I hung up on him.
Adam Carolla
He's got to be in a bad mood or something, because I listened to a couple interviews with him this morning. Maybe I'm the worst interviewer. Show prep. Maybe Kimberly and Beck were right. You know, I'm the worst. He strikes me as one of those people who probably is sitting there at a speakerphone doing 15 or 20 or 30 of these in a row. And I think today, I think he's on a tour. And he's probably just one of those people who just thinks Howard Lapidus's name is definitely on that TV show. Oh, it is.
Natasha Leggero
About the reunion of the Man Show.
Adam Carolla
It was a joke, obviously. But Howard Lapidus, his name is in that onion. Sure. I mean, the dude.
Natasha Leggero
We didn't get that interview.
Adam Carolla
And because of Tripp and his connection to Howard, which is a big part of My everything. I figured we'd get a few chuckles, but it seems like this guy didn't want to be. He should have not done it. I wish I knew what station he was on with now, because I'd love to hear if it's the same. Yeah, I want to hear another interview. I think the guy's got a beef on me that I don't know about. Dr. Drew was his partner on War Blind.
Natasha Leggero
You finally got your blood vendetta against him. Later, one of them goes on to say that a year or two ago, you and Lynette took a RV trip with Howard Lapidas and his wife.
Gina Grad
Why is he obsessed?
Adam Carolla
Obsessed?
Natasha Leggero
Is that fun?
Adam Carolla
It was awesome. Ask my doppelganger and we'll get an answer.
Natasha Leggero
Holy moly.
Adam Carolla
Holy moly.
Natasha Leggero
Holy moly.
Gina Grad
Three holy molys, by the way.
Adam Carolla
That goes on for quite a while. Are you. It's a weird life, right?
Gina Grad
Adam, how do you feel? Are you bemused?
Natasha Leggero
Bewildered?
Gina Grad
Are you just confused? Are you pissed?
Adam Carolla
I'm just glad I have a witness. I'm glad I have witnesses, that's all.
Natasha Leggero
Yeah.
Gina Grad
I don't even know what to say. I don't know what just happened.
Adam Carolla
Now, I know you don't want to give away where this is, but can.
Brian Bishop
You give me the range of market size, please?
Adam Carolla
Where are we? Smaller. Okay. I don't know how. Listen, my whole thing is I'm as whatever as anybody wants to be with me. And if we're just going to go down this endless wormhole of Tripp Reeves and Howard Lapiduses, I'm not going to give you many. I'm going to be kind of short in my answer because I don't want to go off on a diatribe. I don't want to. Funny story about Howard Lapidas. I hope you have enough time we can squeeze this in because I'm plugging my book. There are many things in the book that we can mine some comedy out of.
Natasha Leggero
Sure.
Adam Carolla
Well, that's what I've heard.
Gina Grad
He started the interview by saying he doesn't want to talk about the book. Not this book, not the one you're plugging.
Adam Carolla
Right. He wanted to talk about the last one that you didn't see or read. Never heard of. What was that about?
Natasha Leggero
Are you excited for the next book tour? We can talk about. Did I stop talking with him?
Adam Carolla
I'm just saying you have to do eight minutes on what a douche I am after that.
Natasha Leggero
It's material.
Adam Carolla
All right.
Gina Grad
I think he just wanted you to Be more excited that you had a.
Adam Carolla
Mutual acquaintance that nobody's heard of.
Gina Grad
Yes, exactly.
Adam Carolla
Okay.
Natasha Leggero
Howard must come up on that show a lot later.
Adam Carolla
Later in that show, he announces that he wants to call Howard.
Natasha Leggero
Okay, that's what I'm saying. And then.
Adam Carolla
And then two minutes goes by and his producer announces that both numbers he.
Natasha Leggero
Has for him are disconnected.
Adam Carolla
Ah, well, maybe they're not as close as, you know, originally anticipated. All right. Anyway, now I'm in a better mood. Casserole, everybody? No, I'm in my underpants in my hotel room knowing I'm supposed to meet Lee the press guy down in the lobby at 8:45 to start a thing that is going to end up with me back at the hotel at five and then back at Caroline's again that night. And I'm just sitting there talking about Tripp Reeb, thinking, I got to get out of here.
Gina Grad
Well, if it's any consolation whatsoever, people who heard you on the sound 100.3 the sound really enjoyed it.
Adam Carolla
Well, it was good to hear a familiar voice on there. And it's always insane too, when radio guys do. It's a. It's a form of grandiosity, which is. Well, maybe she's got it in for me.
Gina Grad
Right, as in he's on your radar.
Natasha Leggero
Yep.
Adam Carolla
That I would have to include you and. And the entire country of China, because that's another large group of people who. I don't know.
Natasha Leggero
Right.
Adam Carolla
So. No, it's nothing.
Natasha Leggero
It's a long hit list.
Adam Carolla
It's a pretty long hit list. Yeah. No, I don't know who you are. All right. Anyway, that's what I do. That's my life, everybody. All right, let's see. Paying attention in school, filming Road hard. We got Geez. Natasha Leggeros here. Right. Let's go fast here, Glenn.
Natasha Leggero
Four is good.
Adam Carolla
Interesting. And I'll tell you will. Hi, Adam. What's going on?
Natasha Leggero
Oh, nothing much.
Adam Carolla
I loved winning. Especially loved the tribute to Alan Simonson, the driver who died at Le Mans. I thought that was a classy move. Yeah, he dried two years ago, I think. Or three years ago. Yeah, go ahead. Well, this is a little patronizing to take the spirits intended, but you have so many learned guests on your show. And while I know you said you had problems in school, you seem to hold your own quite nicely, I think, in terms of your reference to history and politics, in addition to your higher level vocabulary. Do you think this is candidate to be attributed to your hypervigilance or awareness? Your phone's shitty, so I'm going to put you on hold.
Natasha Leggero
He's nervously dialing.
Adam Carolla
Tomorrow's show will be Brian Grazer, who's done every show on the planet, every movie on the planet, big time movie producer, him and Howard Lapidas. I'm doing a one on one with him. Oh, Shaq's phoning in. I'm gonna bring Sonny in here, I'm gonna do a one on one on him because I just finished his book on the plane. His whole book is about curiosity. And I fucking screamed this at my wife a million times. And anyone who would ever listen when it's always about like, we gotta get them into the right pre K and then they gotta go to the right school and then we have to set them up for college. I gotta be set up for college. They can't go in there. I said, listen, if they're curious by nature, if the person is curious, he or she, our work is done. There's nothing that can keep them from gaining tons of information, being incredibly smart. If they're not curious, we can drop them off in the middle of MIT on the shoulders of a Chinese guy and they won't fucking learn shit. They have to be. And so Grazer's whole thing is about curiosity. Why isn't it talked about? Why isn't it nurtured? Why isn't it developed? Why isn't it a virtue? Curiosity is basically gets you told to put your hand down and shut up and let me finish talking. At the head of the class, as the teacher, we don't look at curiosity as a virtue. You, these guys like Brian Grazer are. Brian Grazer because they're curious. Like they hear a story and they go, I want to know about this Apollo mission. I want to know more about this story. I want to. Everything he does starts off as a question never discussed. And I am a curious person. And when you talk to people and you go, what is this? And how come that? And I go, I don't know, I grew up around a lot of these people. People, you know, it's sort of a, you know, it's, it's, it's a comedy thing where you go like, geez, the hot dogs come in a six pack but the buns come in an eight pack. And they go, you go, what is, why this? And they go, I don't know, just buy the hot dogs and shut up.
Gina Grad
Or more specifically, how should I know that?
Adam Carolla
Yeah, that's my mom, how should I know that? Well then you're done, you're stifled, you're just fucking done. You're a dam that no new knowledge can pass through. And when you're curious, nothing can stop you. So, you know, every time we get into one of those discussions about where's the kid going to college? I'm like, I don't care. He can. He can go to college in front of Google, just have a computer, just be curious, and that's that.
Natasha Leggero
So what do you do if the kid's not blessed with curiosity? Is that something you can engender or foster? I mean, if the kid's not naturally curious, what do you do? I think, because that's not everyone, obviously.
Adam Carolla
Right, right. And I think that becomes a challenge. I think.
Natasha Leggero
Is that where all the college prep and all the blah, blah, blah comes in? All the get them ready for this and get them. Because if they don't have that to fall or to drive them to fall back up, but to drive them need something else.
Adam Carolla
Here's what I think. I do not believe everybody is special. And every. You know, I don't not. I'm not into this bullshit where it's like everyone has a special gift and everyone has to discover their gift. I don't believe that for fucking hot second, most of you assholes aren't special at all. I'm the only special one around here.
Natasha Leggero
Especially ungifted.
Adam Carolla
But everybody has a couple of interests. They just. They just like. Ranging from pro wrestling to aerodynamics, you know what I mean? Like just whatever. It can be the most trivial shit in the world, but they're curious about this or that. They have something toward that. And what I would say is go toward that. Let your curiosity run free about that and then succeed in that realm, whatever that is. Whether you're a foodie or a guy who wants to open a gym, just whatever it is. Everybody has something they're into. Good. That's the curious. Now figure out how to turn that into a living. All right.
Natasha Leggero
What if you're curious about a good way to hold money and not a big. Not a big thick wallet, you know, mission sort of streamlined way to keep your shit.
Adam Carolla
You mean like Z clip?
Natasha Leggero
That's what I'm talking about.
Adam Carolla
Yes, yes, yes, yes. Hold on. Behold.
Natasha Leggero
That's badass. Send a couple over here. That seems pretty sweet.
Adam Carolla
Behold. They're too good for you. Besides, you need money to put in them. Yeah, you're screwed. You just have those cards with the attorneys that have nine eighths on the thing. Accident. Bad mustaches. No, no, this is for high rollers. This is for the players.
Natasha Leggero
That's right.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Yeah. I just traveled, by the way. Traveling with that wallet and sitting on it and getting your back all scoliated and whatnot. C clip holds up to 15 bills and eight cards. No hinges, no magnets, no nothing. And it's made from solid carbon fiber or it comes in stainless steel or carbon steel. Z clip.com is where you go. Use the Code Adam. You get 20% off your entire order. Great Father's Day gift. And that's Z as in zebra, by the way. Clip.com again. You could keep your money just folded up in your pocket, or you could put it in a Ziploc bag or wrap it in foil. You truly could.
Natasha Leggero
I see guys doing the rubber band thing.
Gina Grad
Could use a binder.
Adam Carolla
You could use a rubber band, you could use a binder clip.
Natasha Leggero
We could go all day.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. And you can have a watch that's worth $9 or that you get free at Santa Anita on watch night. But it doesn't really say you've arrived.
Gina Grad
Is Conway coming back?
Adam Carolla
The point is Z clip kind of lets people know. Oh, yeah. And it's kind of nice. I pulled it out, you know, good checking in and out of hotels and all that kind of stuff. Especially if you're in a race stuff like I am. It's carbon fiber anyway. Great, great Father's Day gift. Remember, promo code Adam for 20% off your entire order@Z clip.com, at least go to Z clip.com and check it out. Very cool stuff. All right, Natasha's waiting. I have. I want to announce here. I'll just be faster. The people have been holding online. Hey, Jeff. 31. Yes, sir. Yeah. Any production stories from Road Hard? Nothing except for me throwing away the hazelnut creamer that came in a fucking 55 gallon drum. After the third week of no milk for me and my coffee, I just fucking chucked it. I just fucking walked right to the table and just fucking chucked it in the trash and just went, what the fuck? Are you guys. All right. That was about it. That was my only diva move. There's no, like, was there ever a day where there was a problem on set? I was just curious how you guys, like fixed it. Well, there was the time when the guy, the middle aged guy, was holding the dog and trying to with his left hand make himself a bagel and lox. And then I yelled at him, get away from the goddamn table with your dog. And then somebody turned to me and said, that's the dog for the airplane scene.
Gina Grad
And.
Adam Carolla
And it wasn't I don't know why people are so interested in sharing information so readily that they have fucking no idea about. But for the next 20 minutes, I was freaked out because I just yelled at who I thought was the dog handler. For the next scene that involved the dog across a warehouse, I just yelled, hey, get away from the table with your goddamn dog. Because the guy's holding a fucking Yorkie above a table that is filled with locks and cream cheese and half cut tomatoes above it.
Natasha Leggero
I like to imagine Jeff, as an aspiring filmmaker, asking for your experiences shooting a movie. And your two experiences involve food.
Adam Carolla
Yes, yes. Craft services.
Gina Grad
I personally like the Larry Miller wig conundrum.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, that was good. We shot a scene and then we turned our lemon into lemonade because we just put them in a new wig every scene. And yes, that was a good way of solving a problem with a bad wig. Yes. Again, the marching orders for the wig lady is get me three wigs and give us three choices. She showed up with three of the exact same wigs, and I kept saying to her, I wanted three choices, and she would go, there they are.
Natasha Leggero
She beat you on technicality.
Gina Grad
Or a Helen DeGeneres, David Spade or Luke Wilson.
Adam Carolla
Right. Oh, God damn. Who are those people? Don't you want to yell at a lot of people? What do you do for a living? What is it you do? Because it can't be this.
Natasha Leggero
I feel like you do yell that at a lot of people.
Adam Carolla
Okay, okay. All right. All right. And real quick, Jason. Yo. You have a shitty 70s song stuck in your head. Yeah, well, luckily it's not stuck in my head. But real quick. I just wanted to share the fact that I love this podcast. It is my second favorite podcast in the world. Second only. Barely edged out by The Adam and Dr. Drew show. Oh, look at you.
Gina Grad
Save the compliments.
Adam Carolla
What I do now. What's going on? Thank you. I crave that show every week. I wish it was more than twice a week, but I understand that it can't be. Yeah. And, oh, the farting thing, you guys, you were out and they ran a rerun of a classic love line where you were, like, lighting up gas Right. The other day. That was hilarious.
Natasha Leggero
Greatest.
Adam Carolla
I recommend. It was the greatest show ever. And I recommend anybody who didn't hear that our record isn't regular listener of Dr. Drew and Adam podcast to go back. Yeah. Most people think lighting farts is sort of an urban myth or something. It's very true. Very true. All right, Jason, so what is the song you have stuck in your Head. Yeah, well, fortunately, this was not stuck in my head. But I listen to. I collect records and I listen to a lot of albums. And I got the self titled Fleetwood Mac album. And I was going through. I think that's the one with Rhiannon on it. And I was going through it, and there's a song in there called Sugar Daddy. I think it is Christine McVie song. And she's singing to her lover. Mm, Sounds very lover. I would be so offended by what she's saying. She hit the post super angry. Yeah. Very passive aggressive. Wow. This is definitely one of those album fillers, right?
Natasha Leggero
The shoulder B side.
Adam Carolla
I mean, this is. Look, we got 11 songs. This will be number nine. And no one will ever fucking hear it because he has almost no girth in his penis. Let me explain.
Natasha Leggero
But he's poor, so she needs the guy for the money. Stay away from the loving.
Adam Carolla
Right? But why be Sugar Daddy if you can't fuck whoever you're buying the sports car. Yeah. Wow. I don't know, I just. When I heard it, I thought, okay, she's with a guy. She's like, I, you know, I'm into you, but you're broke. So I'm gonna tease this other guy along to give me money, but he's got to stay away from my coach. Right. I just thought it was funny. Yeah. I don't know. So weird. Struck me chalk everything up to the cocaine in the 70s because the fucking coke made everyone get high and then think whatever they were doing was good. It's basically. You ever have a dream? You ever have a dream where you dream of some? Like, for me, I dream about jokes or scenarios, a movie idea or something. But sometimes I dream of an invention or something. And then I wake up the next morning and I go, oh, it was so good. God damn, what was it? Oh, fucking funny. Oh, that's a funny bit. Oh, that's a funny TV show.
Natasha Leggero
And the more you try and think of it, the more it slips away.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, it's a slipping way. And then at a certain point, you let it go. And then it's like four in the afternoon and it pops in your head and you go, now wasn't that funny? That's what cocaine does for songwriting, I think. They sit up in the middle of the fucking night just licking their fucking lips going, oh, this is awesome.
Natasha Leggero
Another number.
Brian Bishop
This is awesome.
Adam Carolla
Getting a freeze. Oh, this is gonna be awesome. It's gonna be awesome. And then the next day, it fucking sucks. But everyone in the band is high on coke. Too. So they all agree. You go. All right, Natasha Legero is there. I want to give a. We took a week off our Lord of the Junk, the guy who impressed us most from clicking through and buying through our. Oh, we have a. Sorry. Lord, Lord. Lord of the Jungle. What did the person buy? Probably while high. Harry Legend. Which is his actual real name.
Gina Grad
That's fantastic.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Although someone tweeted me they bought something under Harry Seaward.
Natasha Leggero
Well, I should have gotten that. Should have gotten.
Adam Carolla
Please page at the airports or the casinos with the hairy C word. Now that we have a C word. That's awesome. He went after a tool that was near and dear to my own heart. A framing nailer. That's right. Hitachi. Three and a half inch.
Natasha Leggero
By the way, that's the gun that goes his nail all the way across.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, it's the fake part about. Oh, shit, in every movie. At some point, they'll pick it up.
Natasha Leggero
Dark Man. No, they did that in Dark Man. They shot the nails like an actual gun.
Adam Carolla
They'll do it. Lethal Weapons. The lethal weapon. They'll pick up the thing and they'll fire it at the guy. Number one. You can't pick it up and fire at the guy. You have to reach. Grab the front and pull back. Basically, the little. Little aforementioned foreskin.
Gina Grad
Not quite as.
Natasha Leggero
There's a safety army automatic.
Adam Carolla
You have to press it down onto something before you can fire it. Otherwise, the company sued out of existence. And the compressor needs to be running all weekend and all night, too. But either way, you can get the three and a half inch framing nails or the finish or the. Or the eight penny sinkers in there. And one 79 bucks. Such a deal. So this guy who does some framing, does some work. I like a guy like that. Your wife's a lucky woman. All right. He is going to be sent over the swag for being our Lord of the jungle for this week. Natasha Leggiero is out there. Let's see, real quick. Quick, we have some of her standup, right?
Natasha Leggero
She's kind of everywhere. Like, she's on TV shows on the roast. Great on the roasts.
Gina Grad
And great on your favorite hits. Like It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Yeah.
Natasha Leggero
Modern Family.
Adam Carolla
Listen to a little of her standup before we bring her in.
Matt Atchity
So I'm at the dance club and these girls are running around and they're like, let's get.
Adam Carolla
Here.
Matt Atchity
I'm like, mission accomplished. I don't understand what's happening with music. What are these songs? They make no sense.
Adam Carolla
I'm Fred Flint skull, I'm gonna make a bad rock. And then the chorus to that song is this like little 11 year old.
Matt Atchity
Girl, she's like, I'm gonna pin that on your sideburn. Okay.
Adam Carolla
If you think that's where your goes.
Matt Atchity
You'Re too young to be having sex.
Adam Carolla
Natasha will be in here in one second. Also in the audio world, pulled a little clip from Daddy Stop talking. And they're being animated. Who's animating these?
Natasha Leggero
James, right?
Adam Carolla
Oh, James.
Natasha Leggero
A guy named J.R. i met him. He animated a scene from my book and he kept in touch and he's like, want to do scenes for Adam?
Gina Grad
A cool scene.
Adam Carolla
Yes. His website is the JR Experiment dot com. All right, good guy. So we keep pulling these little minute and half clips and he keeps animating around them. So you can see that@adamcroll.com feel like the other morning I just finished off my first cup of coffee. I was sitting on the commode, taking my morning constitution, when Olga did that simultaneously knock and enter move, which I would argue defeats the purpose of the knock. Like, if you can't let me get one syllable into, excuse you before you're standing in my bathroom watching me squatted on my shitter. What good is the knock for? I'm in here. Oh, I shall not open the door. This is simultaneous turning of the knob, pushing with the foot, and knocking. I'm convinced the door was actually swinging open while she was knocking. Could you imagine? She'd be a great hostess. Johnson, party of. I guess they're not here. Let them answer. That's fucking. That is that knock and enter. And he seems, without breaking your stride.
Natasha Leggero
Completely negates the knock.
Gina Grad
Well, it seems like a housekeeping move.
Adam Carolla
It is. And. And later on when you, when confronted in the kitchen, they always deny, they go, oh, no, I knocked very clearly and loudly. And then I waited like a three or five Mississippi, no answer. And then I entered and found you sitting four feet away on the toilet with my pants around my ankles. Was I wearing my Beats by Dre's? Believe you me, I was sitting there and you banged on a wooden slab that was four feet from me. I definitely, if I had your interest, if you'd given me three seconds, I would have sounded off in less than one.
Natasha Leggero
Yep.
Adam Carolla
It's not like I sat there and went, well, that can't be anybody.
Gina Grad
It's just the wind.
Adam Carolla
My pants are around my ankles and I'm sitting. It's the most vulnerable spot you can ever be in. And no, you did not wait. All right. Natasha Leggera's out there. Bring her in.
Brian Bishop
And now Alcoa presents Definitely not a.
Adam Carolla
Jew on the Adam Carolla Show. Dateline, Tuscaloosa, Alabama. A 57 year old man flipped his tractor trailer after he took his hands from the wheel to pull out a loose too.
Brian Bishop
Definitely not a too.
Adam Carolla
Thank you. Take a knee, by the way, this week with Arlie Ermey. So go to amcroll.com archive and get them all. You're going to love this guy. Natasha Leggiero is here. Another period. It's reality show parody and. And you can find it on Comedy Central. 10:30. June 23rd is when it premieres and Natasha's sort of everywhere, all the time.
Matt Atchity
Well, let's just say though, it takes place in 1902. So it's a reality show in 1902. It's like if the Kardashians moved into Downton.
Gina Grad
Fantastic.
Adam Carolla
I love that idea. How'd you come up with that thing?
Matt Atchity
Ricky and I were just brainstorming and I had two ideas and like one was to do a show in 1902 and one was to do a fake reality show and she was. Why don't we combine them? We were drunk.
Adam Carolla
Ricky's half the Garfunkel and Oates duo. So we must have had her in here.
Natasha Leggero
Very funny.
Adam Carolla
Yes.
Matt Atchity
Tall, hot, blonde. Surely you remember that, Adam, you know.
Adam Carolla
I only have eyes. Actually.
Matt Atchity
You like small brunettes, right?
Natasha Leggero
I may not have been here.
Adam Carolla
Actually, I like them all.
Gina Grad
No, no.
Natasha Leggero
But I think Doug Benson had them in as a guest. He guest hosted for.
Matt Atchity
Yes, I'm sure.
Adam Carolla
Because I feel like we've had them in maybe years ago.
Natasha Leggero
Very funny.
Adam Carolla
Here's what I want to say about hot checks. It's the same thing I say about cars. Why limit yourself? You know what I mean? Like people go, I'm into cars. You into cars. I'm into cars. I'm a mopar man. All I like is Chrysler stuff. That's all I'm into. And I'm like, why you could so many. I mean appreciates Ferraris and Lamborghinis and Fords. Why do you got to be a mopar, A Dodge man?
Natasha Leggero
Why should I take all other cars?
Adam Carolla
There's a lot of guys just like, I just like tall blondes. Why there's bosomy Burnett's and those are the worst spinners. And there's.
Matt Atchity
I feel bad for blondes sometimes because the kind of guys who are only attracted to blondes are usually pretty lame.
Adam Carolla
They're called producers. Or actually, wait A minute. David Spade be his name.
Matt Atchity
Wait, can I just say, though, I was listening to you talk about the curiosity thing, and I was always getting into trouble my whole childhood for asking questions. And people would always, like, do impressions of me, like, I have a question and I was always sent out in the hall for it.
Adam Carolla
It's so weird when you are belittled for being curious.
Matt Atchity
That was the first time I ever heard it as, like, something good that you would want your child to have.
Adam Carolla
I'm going to be all up in Grazer's grill.
Matt Atchity
Is his book about kids being curious?
Adam Carolla
No, it's just book is about him being curious and about everything. And it's called why about interviewing people all out of show business. Just Chief Darrell Gates and during the riots and stuff like that, LAPD chief and all that kind of stuff. Yeah. In this case, it was the Asians who were. Oh, no, no, wait, the blacks. Anyway, point is this. He interviews everybody and wants to know how they work because he's curious. You're curious, you're going to be smart. Yes. I don't know why. It's not something that's nurtured or fostered or whatever it is in children.
Matt Atchity
And maybe you can help it along by just someone who's curious, doesn't think they know everything and they're around people. You know what I mean? If you always have absolute answers and you think you know everything, you're not very curious.
Adam Carolla
Right. So what happens to a young Natasha Leggero? She's asking questions and probably people are saying, especially as a cute little girl, quiet.
Matt Atchity
Yes. Also, though, I went to Catholic school and I had many questions.
Gina Grad
I knew it, I knew it. I swear to God. I was gonna say, did you go to Catholic school?
Matt Atchity
Because I was like, that's not Adam, Eve, real. Like, I don't understand. Were they like real people? Go sit out in the hall. Like, you weren't even. That's why I'm even more attracted to Judaism now than I am Catholicism, because at least that is all about debating.
Adam Carolla
Chapter one of his book discusses the Garden of Eden and Adam and Eve and the serpent and curious, wanting the Tree of Knowledge and all this kind of stuff.
Matt Atchity
Asking about the metaphor for it and.
Adam Carolla
The notion that we would stifle this and not nurture it is insane, but it is stifled. It's sit and listen and don't ask questions.
Natasha Leggero
Yeah, I went to Catholic school too, like you guys. And any question like you're questioning the logic of the dogma was immediately, quiet, quiet.
Adam Carolla
I'm Teaching this?
Matt Atchity
Yes. And you just want to understand because you're getting all this information that sounds idiotic.
Natasha Leggero
Well, it's contradictory, a lot of it. It just doesn't make a lot of sense.
Matt Atchity
And you just want to know, like, wait, so those are real people, and.
Natasha Leggero
They'Re not teaching it as a metaphor. They're teaching it as like, oh, this story happened.
Adam Carolla
That's exactly.
Natasha Leggero
No, no, this. They're trying to tell us something about this, right? Like, no, no, this is not.
Matt Atchity
They're not teaching it as metaphor.
Adam Carolla
Then later on, when you had your friends, I mean, before you sort of came into the comedy community, which is. I feel like an interested group, because you have to be interested, otherwise you'll never come up with material. But this. But at first, was it tough? And where did you come from? And who were you around?
Matt Atchity
I just remember in college, people making fun of how much I raised my hand and asked questions, but, I mean, I didn't really care.
Adam Carolla
And it's good that you didn't. But for some people, I think they start feeling ashamed. It's sort of like you raise your hand, you ask a question, and then they stop and they go, here it is. And then eight minutes later, you have another question. But now you don't want to raise your hand because you don't want to be shamed. Is you hope someone else asks a question in between so it's not you on you crime.
Gina Grad
Well, and I think it also goes the other way, which you learned something and you're excited about it, so you want to tell everybody else, because that's what I got. Oh, is Gina going to tell us who the fourth president was again? Because I was excited and I figured other people would be, but they weren't.
Matt Atchity
I used to do this thing that I just remembered recently, but it's. I feel like it really created who I was, where I would hear the teacher say something and I would stand up to answer, but I didn't know what the answer was, and I would just wait for something to come out.
Gina Grad
And I was thinking the Michael Scott approach.
Matt Atchity
That is such a strange impulse to stand up and, like, be ready to talk, but have no idea what's going to come out. It's kind of scary.
Adam Carolla
It is. I mean, I like. It's. It's chutzpah, and I like. I like it, but it's probably going to get you into trouble.
Matt Atchity
Exactly.
Adam Carolla
Thank God the teacher didn't know you were standing. All right, that was a short joke. Listen, you're beautiful, and I love all women, as we figured out. Even, like my blonde lab run. So this is out, by the way, on the 23rd, June 23rd, 10:30, Comedy Central and the website natashalajero.com is where you go for. There's their stand up dates, other projects. I don't know how much touring you're doing right now.
Matt Atchity
I just arrived from Denver this morning.
Adam Carolla
Where'd you play in Denver?
Matt Atchity
The comedy works.
Adam Carolla
Comedy works.
Matt Atchity
Did you play the one in the suburbs?
Adam Carolla
Yes. The one where Mike August stole the toilet paper when they put you up in the condos?
Matt Atchity
Yes.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, that was a huge mistake for them because turns out somebody actually lived in those condos at some point and they purchased something called toilet paper. And Mike took it all in his duffel bag.
Brian Bishop
Paper.
Adam Carolla
He found that there was a closet. Could you imagine that? Can you imagine?
Matt Atchity
And then traveling with the toilet paper.
Adam Carolla
Oh, he was preening when we got to lax and he opened his duffel bag and showed me the bounty of bounty toilet paper that he'd stolen.
Natasha Leggero
Check it out.
Matt Atchity
Meanwhile, the person who owns the condo and books the club will know that he took that, I'm sure, because they.
Gina Grad
Come in, you weren't sharing a condo, Right. They'll assume it was you.
Adam Carolla
No, I know we weren't. He had one room, I had another room. And yes, they have one that's down in the cellar, I think, down in town in Denver. And then there's one that's, like, on the outskirts. It's really big. Nice, nice club.
Matt Atchity
But I just realized, like, I can't be in the suburbs for three days. I start.
Adam Carolla
Are we there for three days?
Matt Atchity
Like, I cannot be in, like, suburbia. I find it. Yeah, wretched.
Adam Carolla
What? Were you there? You were there for what, Thursday through Saturday or Sunday or whatever.
Matt Atchity
Sunday. So I got there Thursday and I got back, you know, two hours.
Adam Carolla
What's the schedule? The lonely life on the road. And I agree, by the way, the adage that the devil makes work for idle hands. There is no better adage than that. Because when you're just fucking sitting alone in a town where you don't know anybody.
Matt Atchity
Strip mall. I could have just. I had no car and I'm just in, like, a strip mall that had, like, a massage place that was booked. And then they told me this was their selling point. Ralphie May's favorite Greek restaurant. Those are the two things the country.
Adam Carolla
Of Greece actually is. Ralphie's favorite Greek restaurant actually goes there to eat the country.
Matt Atchity
So it was. Oh, and then they had a movie theater that Only had like these terrible dramas. Nothing I wanted to see.
Adam Carolla
I know, but you go anyway.
Matt Atchity
I don't. I just laid in bed and like, then I got altitude sick. I was really kind of mad that I was there.
Adam Carolla
You do.
Matt Atchity
The shows were amazing. But next time I'll stay in the city. I can't be in the suburbs.
Adam Carolla
Yes, it's. It's pretty quiet out out there off the beaten path.
Matt Atchity
It's not just quiet. It's like people are sitting outside and like, watching a parking lot. Like they're eating their pizza. Like looking out at a parking lot. Like, I don't understand. It's so desolate. It's like freeway sounds and everyone's like, everything's so new. Like, that's a selling point. Yes, it's.
Adam Carolla
And you're. You're trapped because you don't oftentimes have a mode of transportation and you're not taking a bus or whatever.
Matt Atchity
And then calling a cab just seems like so much work and it just.
Adam Carolla
And it's not your city. It feels weird. Like, it feels like I don't know where we're. What our address is exactly here to call the cab.
Natasha Leggero
Is this a world where Uber doesn't exist?
Adam Carolla
When I was doing it.
Natasha Leggero
That's a good point.
Adam Carolla
But yeah. And you find yourself eating at places that you're totally unfamiliar with the menu or the people or the whatever. And it's a weird, like, lonely place where you can get into like, psychological trouble. Right?
Matt Atchity
Yeah, that's a good way to put it.
Adam Carolla
No, but that's why comedians just become junkies and go off the fucking rails. Yes, onto the rails, actually, but off the rails onto the rails of cocaine.
Gina Grad
So you prefer to sort of be a shut in and be reclusive or.
Matt Atchity
No, I prefer. You don't want to be in a city with a museum of modern art that knows what sparkling water is.
Gina Grad
Sure, but if you're not, you don't want to go exploring the mini mall.
Adam Carolla
No.
Matt Atchity
Who would want to explore a mini mall? There was a Barbizon Mart modeling school and I mean, it was like Barbara.
Adam Carolla
Zon modeling school where you can be a model or just look like one.
Matt Atchity
I mean, it was just things like that. In the strip mall that I was stuck in for three days. I could have been in Wisconsin. Like, it wasn't even. Like, I was in Denver.
Adam Carolla
So it's. It's Thursday night. Give us a schedule.
Matt Atchity
Thursday night I check in, I smell in the condo, like, just like a dank kind of like stink that a cleaning lady can't get out.
Adam Carolla
Mike had rubbed one out three and a half years earlier, and to this day, they still cannot get that out of the curtains.
Natasha Leggero
No amount of toilet paper.
Adam Carolla
We didn't want to use any toilet paper. That was the thing. We're gonna bring it all home. Yeah.
Matt Atchity
Then I call the people and get moved to a room that has a little bit less of a stench, but still not. Like it doesn't have the quality grade cleaning of a hotel. You know, even though it's new and nice. Do my shows. The shows are great.
Adam Carolla
You do one show Thursday night, One show Thursday.
Matt Atchity
Those are always the most fun because it's like the real comedy fans come out, you know, it's not just like plumbers there on a Saturday with free tickets.
Adam Carolla
Right.
Matt Atchity
And then the next day I got out of radio. Now I'm only doing places where they don't make me do.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, because I want to get you up early and have you go, we gotta do some. We got two shows to sell Friday.
Matt Atchity
And Saturday night, you in hair and makeup at 7:00am to go do TV, like local TV. I mean, I was in Portland, which is like such a cool, hip city, and they wanted me to do like the country western stations, like all these radio stations. And it just seems like that is not what's happening anymore. Like, what are you. What are you getting? Like 10 more people? This isn't radio, right? This is like a podcast.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Matt Atchity
People actually listen to this?
Adam Carolla
No, it's. It's one of these.
Natasha Leggero
It's weird, right?
Adam Carolla
It's one of these laments where, you know, I just got off a book tour. It's the same thing. You, you're like, is this thing actually selling one book or am I doing it to satisfy the publisher and for.
Matt Atchity
Them, to your publicist, to make them think they're doing something? And then. Yeah, it's annoying.
Adam Carolla
I just had Spike TV wanting to fly me to New York to do Good day, whatever, and then fly me back that same day when I was. By the way, I'm hearing this while I'm in New York knowing I'm coming back in a couple days. And for me, cosmically, it just seems like a wild waste of fuel and resources just to literally fly 3,000 miles.
Gina Grad
And literally.
Adam Carolla
And the bit. The hit is going to be four and a half minutes. You're going to do like a four and a half minute hit on this morning. Whatever. And then you're going to get back and, you know, it's not going to do anything for the ratings. For your show. But you want to. But Sharon Levy at Spike wants you to go, you know, and you want her to be happy, but there's like, that's what it becomes. What it becomes is you kind of making them happy, not you getting any more eyeballs or doing. And they're buying you a first class ticket there and back. It's probably gonna cost them more than they're gonna make off of the thing. But it's like this thing of like, oh, no, I'm a good soldier.
Matt Atchity
What else is. Yes, and what else is weird, too, is with this radio, they're like, no, you have to be there. It's like, why? It's radio. It's.
Adam Carolla
They don't take photos. And it's like, why not? It's radio.
Matt Atchity
I mean, it doesn't make sense. I know, because they want to see you and meet you and talk to you, but I know I'd be much better on the phone from my bed.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. And they do this thing where they go like, well, you know, Friday, early show, we're fine. We're a little light in the late show, so, you know, and these guys do a lot of business. They'll push you over the top, but you just have to get up at 6:45, put your face on, and then the club owner will come pick you up in a car that was nice 13 years ago.
Gina Grad
Right?
Adam Carolla
It's a. It's a BMW 7 Series. It's worth $2,200 because he circled the globe 13 times.
Matt Atchity
He's a graduation present, Right?
Adam Carolla
Yes. Yeah. Like, they get these really nice cars. Club owners have to drive a Lexus or BMW, but they can't afford a new one. So it's one from 1997.
Gina Grad
And then you and Dr. Drew are straddling a laundry hamper in someone's driveway.
Adam Carolla
That's the colleges. Yeah. Yeah.
Matt Atchity
And so then you have to go around to these radio stations and it's early, making small talk with people, and it's usually like a five or six hour thing.
Adam Carolla
And they'll do a thing too, which always drives me nuts, where they go, I know you hate this. I know you hate this. I know you don't want to be here. And you'll go like, I'm fine, I'm fine. But you're thinking, yeah, I don't.
Natasha Leggero
But you nailed it, actually.
Adam Carolla
Anyway, stop with the weird low self esteem. You don't want to be. I know. You don't even know who I am, dude. You don't even listen. And it's like, no, I don't. Obviously I'm not from the greater Denver area and I don't listen to the show, but can we just at least talk now that we're here instead of how much I don't. About something other than how much I don't want to be here.
Gina Grad
They want you to prove to them that they're wrong, which is way more calorie burning.
Adam Carolla
Never gonna happen.
Matt Atchity
Morning radio, people. That is a. That's a weird.
Gina Grad
Aren't they the worst?
Matt Atchity
I mean, I just feel like it just seems like a crazy thing. Like you get there and they're like 6am Someone was making fajitas. Like they just have their own little world. It's Mexican Fridays. Or you know, like they always. It's. It's like it reminds me of high school kind of.
Adam Carolla
It is not. It is. I've said a million times. It is not the time for comedy. There is no comedy club that opens at noon. It's not the time, much less.
Matt Atchity
I saw Vicki Lawrence once. She was playing at this casino I was at. She was doing noon shows.
Adam Carolla
She was. Wow.
Matt Atchity
Look for her mama's family woman.
Adam Carolla
Or oh really?
Natasha Leggero
That for her may have been late night.
Adam Carolla
Do you guys know she had a top 10 hit?
Natasha Leggero
Oh, dear God, don't make me.
Matt Atchity
Vicki Lawrence.
Adam Carolla
Yes.
Gina Grad
That can't be.
Adam Carolla
She had a top 10, maybe number one hit.
Matt Atchity
What was it?
Adam Carolla
Brian will find the song about?
Matt Atchity
You know, she was discovered cuz she did impressions of Carol Burnett.
Natasha Leggero
Well, that's Vicky Lawrence.
Adam Carolla
Yes.
Matt Atchity
What song?
Adam Carolla
Hold on, mama. Before you play it. Squatty pop. By the way, they haven't. We're talking about travel. They have an inflatable one you can take on the road with you now. Oh, nice. Yes, yes. Nothing says I love you, dad like the gift of complete elimination. I'll be thanking you all year long from the commode, son. I'm on my throne. I'm using my squatty potty. I want you to know it'll never stop giving. Doctor recommended. Engineered to mirror the exact angle our forefathers would have used before the chamber pot was invented. Now available at Bed, Bath and Beyond, Target or SquattyPotty.com and by the way, for a limited time, you can text the word squatty. 511. That's 511 for an exclusive coupon code and save 20% off your entire order. We're going to hear this song in a second. Only one way to save the 20%. You must test squatty to 5 11. 5 11. Save yourself 20% squatty potty baby. All right. Was it a number one hit? Is it top 10?
Natasha Leggero
Someone has to look that up. I have no idea.
Matt Atchity
Is this that song, baby?
Adam Carolla
No.
Matt Atchity
Oh, that's Tracy.
Adam Carolla
That's Tracy. I love that song.
Natasha Leggero
All right, you want to hear it?
Adam Carolla
Yep. On his way home from Candle Top.
Natasha Leggero
Been two weeks gone and he thought.
Brian Bishop
He'D stop at Webs and have him a dream.
Natasha Leggero
You guys, another song.
Gina Grad
There's no way you've heard this.
Adam Carolla
It's gonna come in.
Natasha Leggero
Reba McIntyre is a famous cover.
Adam Carolla
Oh really?
Matt Atchity
This is a cover?
Natasha Leggero
No, this is the original. Back when songs had stories.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. About jumping off bridges and bringing home black dudes. Small time sheriffs that were, you know, on the take.
Natasha Leggero
I got some news. It's gonna hurt.
Matt Atchity
Vaguely familiar, but I don't know what.
Gina Grad
I have no recollection of this, by the way.
Adam Carolla
That's a good thing. But it's coming when the chorus kicks in.
Matt Atchity
Are you sure she wrote this?
Natasha Leggero
I don't know if she wrote it or not.
Matt Atchity
I mean, are you sure that this is a. This is a good song.
Natasha Leggero
This is a good song.
Matt Atchity
I mean, I don't love the arrangement.
Gina Grad
This is Vicki Lord Lawrence, you're saying?
Natasha Leggero
Absolutely.
Matt Atchity
I would go see her if she's saying this.
Gina Grad
I feel like we're being punked right now. Like I feel like it can't be Vicki Lawrence.
Natasha Leggero
I will say the Reba McIntyre version does kind of rock a little more.
Adam Carolla
How could you possibly rock more than. This is a lateral rock move.
Natasha Leggero
At least as much that where she.
Matt Atchity
Was playing was a casino. Foxwoods. Have you ever been there?
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Matt Atchity
Now that is rough. No fresh air for four days because you're in this casino and there's just like a pizza off brand pizza place. Like no, no good.
Adam Carolla
No. You walk in and you get reprimanded for not smoking. Reprimanded? Yes. You walk in the. Hand you a lit cigarette. There you go, sir. Son, that's for you.
Matt Atchity
No, when I was there though, they told me that apparently Mohegan sun, which is close by, someone gave me a ride and they're like, yeah, the cabs at Mohegan sun aren't. Aren't giving people who lose their cars at the gamble table rides home anymore. But we are.
Adam Carolla
That much number one. Wow. Number one was that song.
Matt Atchity
What year? 78.
Adam Carolla
Could have been like 74, 72.
Natasha Leggero
This song has a story and a twist.
Adam Carolla
Oh yeah.
Gina Grad
Should we have been paying attention?
Natasha Leggero
You can.
Matt Atchity
What year though?
Adam Carolla
72.
Matt Atchity
Oh, wow. Oh yeah. It's got that 60s. So she was like, I know, I want to do something.
Adam Carolla
I would hit the charts. Number one in 73.
Natasha Leggero
I guess there was a lot of.
Adam Carolla
Carpenters about sheriffs in little small towns and bringing home the wrong guy. The hurricane and all that.
Natasha Leggero
The hurricane.
Gina Grad
Well, I do love me some Harper Valley pta.
Adam Carolla
There's Harper Valley pta. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right.
Gina Grad
Anyway, enough.
Natasha Leggero
I don't know if it's west.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, all right.
Matt Atchity
Sad that we're not in the 70s.
Adam Carolla
Should we, should we do some news?
Gina Grad
Sure, let's do it.
Adam Carolla
Let's do that. Give me the news with Grad. News with G. Show biz Congress tech news, sports news, world news.
Brian Bishop
Give me news with Gina Grad. Whip out of flow sex surveys.
Adam Carolla
Obama meet News with Gina. Gina the news with Gina Grad. I, by the way, I want to thank all you guys for all the amazing kind words on winning the Racing life of Paul Newman. Just five stars all the way down the line and lots of great tweets and all that. It's available everywhere as we speak. So this is a two year project for me. And speaking of being curious, that's what happens. You get curious about.
Natasha Leggero
Start poking around.
Adam Carolla
Start poking around, you end up with a documentary. So thank you, guys. Anyway, where were we, Jamie?
Gina Grad
Well, speaking of that, actually, remember when Alex Winner came on to talk about the Silk Road saga? Well, Ross Ulbricht, who was the founder of Silk Road, the notorious online marketplace for the sale of heroin, cocaine, lsd, other illegal drugs, was sentenced to life in prison on Friday in the Federal District Court in Manhattan. He's 31 years old. He was facing a minimum of 20 years in prison for one of the counts, but the judge upped the ante to life, saying, quote, what you did in connection with Silk Road was terribly destructive to our social fabric.
Adam Carolla
Well, it's got the word silk right in it.
Matt Atchity
I don't know how exactly.
Gina Grad
Yeah, first off, high tech drug bazaar.
Adam Carolla
He's gonna fucking. Good luck in the joint. Trying to explain to the brothers and the vatos, like, what? All right, you stabbed your. You stabbed your guidance counselor in the neck with a pencil, right? All right. Imagine if that pencil was the Internet. You're so cute. Just rape people.
Natasha Leggero
31 years, he's not going to do well.
Gina Grad
He's hot.
Adam Carolla
He's fucking hot. And look, can we do this with the fucking prisons? Can we just. Obviously the guy's a crazy intellect, right? Can we just take the people who think it'd be a good idea to come up behind elderly People and hit them with a cinder block and grab their wallet or purse and lock them away somewhere and then have the other ones that do this kind of consensual crime stuff, the kind of intellectual whatever, and fucking figure out a better way to punish them other than just to lock them up at our expense.
Natasha Leggero
You can earn your way out of prison if you fix the Medicare system.
Matt Atchity
Ooh, that's a good idea.
Adam Carolla
I mean, whatever it is.
Matt Atchity
Yeah, put those people on problems, like social problems.
Adam Carolla
This guy is obviously an incredible intellect. He's also very easy on the eyes. And he should be running free, fucking our wives and daughters, God willing. God willing, that's what I'm saying.
Natasha Leggero
But why are you running his appeal?
Adam Carolla
But why are we. And you know this guy probably not going to be in with a general pop. And it's going to cost us 65 grand a year to keep him incarcerated for the rest of his fucking 60 years on this planet. Like, let's just come up with something. I don't know, some kind of weird fucking thing.
Gina Grad
Work release.
Adam Carolla
That's literally a tank where they have to go think or something.
Natasha Leggero
Earn your way out.
Adam Carolla
Earn your way out. Yes. Here's the damage you've done to society. Undo it by curing AIDS or fucking genital cancer, whatever it is, and let's get you out of here. But just this idea of taking people. Oh, he ordered two murders.
Gina Grad
Apparently.
Matt Atchity
Yeah, it does look pretty kind of psychic.
Adam Carolla
He ordered them, but they weren't carried out exactly.
Natasha Leggero
He ordered them through what he thought was a hitman that turned out to be an FBI.
Gina Grad
Yeah, it wasn't so much.
Matt Atchity
What do you mean, an order? He ordered.
Natasha Leggero
He paid somebody like a couple hundred thousand dollars so that another dude would get taken out. They staged photos and sent them to.
Adam Carolla
Him and he said, okay, good.
Matt Atchity
And who do you think this dude was? Someone with a competing business.
Natasha Leggero
It was a of the Silk Road.
Adam Carolla
Who was threatening to expose him.
Natasha Leggero
Adam, let me handle this one for you.
Matt Atchity
I kill him, too.
Natasha Leggero
Yeah, but still.
Adam Carolla
Yes.
Natasha Leggero
Yeah, but still.
Adam Carolla
Yes, but still.
Gina Grad
All right, naysayer in there.
Adam Carolla
Well, he ordered a hit on a couple people, all right?
Gina Grad
It didn't happen because it was a federal agent.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, I'm older.
Matt Atchity
Why did you make that mistake?
Adam Carolla
You know, I've seen enough TV shows where every single hitman turns out to be an undercover FBI guy. If I was a hitman, I would just show up in an FBI jacket and go, I'm a dirty FBI guy who takes your money. Because I would not trust any hitmen. Anymore. I've seen enough of these fucking Friday night shows to know they're all under fucking cover.
Matt Atchity
Imagine those calls, like calling a friend to see if you can get a recommendation for like.
Adam Carolla
I mean. Yeah, you know what we do, actually. Every one of these guys wants to meet at a Denny's, but he's wearing a wireless hot tub. Hitman parties. We all sit in a fucking big old hot tub. Yep. Come on down.
Matt Atchity
Idea.
Gina Grad
Water's fine.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, hop on in. Because you can't hear a fucking thing. Other problem is people. Neighboring buildings hear you yelling, I want to kill my wife.
Natasha Leggero
You're on the rooftop yelling over the bubbles.
Adam Carolla
But you can't wear wire in a hot tub. It's like my grandpa used to say.
Matt Atchity
See, now I would think of poisoning someone. That seems like that would just be.
Adam Carolla
Easier than the hitman.
Matt Atchity
Yeah, like don't involve anybody else.
Gina Grad
Then it goes right back to you when they find the fiberglass and the Cream of Wheat, you know?
Adam Carolla
Right.
Gina Grad
They know it's you. Don't do it.
Adam Carolla
And those people always have a fucking Google search of how to poison their husband. Or just sitting on their computer following it.
Natasha Leggero
How to delete Google search history.
Adam Carolla
Use the fucking one at the library, would you, for the love of Christ.
Gina Grad
Well, the John Holmes kid, the one who shot up the movie theater in Colorado. Colorado. They found tons of stuff that he googled about how to do that. So, yeah, take your safe search off. Swiss authorities arrested several top FIFA officials last week in a Zurich hotel. The charges allege that there has been widespread corruption throughout soccer's governing body over the past 20 years, involving bids for World Cups as well as marketing and broadcast deals. Meanwhile, FIFA president Sepp Blatter has been reelected as president after Prince Ali Bin Al Hussein Insane conceded defeat.
Natasha Leggero
This is gonna be a great movie someday.
Gina Grad
Yeah, definitely. Look at that crew.
Adam Carolla
Wow. This is just rock. The super boring world of international soccer that nobody gives a about, of course. Got a whole bunch of old dudes and tons of cash flying around.
Natasha Leggero
What could go wrong?
Matt Atchity
But if soccer is like that, how is every other sport not like that? Corrupt?
Natasha Leggero
And how is this story ten times more exciting than actual soccer match?
Adam Carolla
Soccer's attract all the worst country countries.
Matt Atchity
It's more international than like, there's nobody.
Adam Carolla
From Canada that's into soccer.
Natasha Leggero
Well, Canada has a soccer team.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, no one gives a fuck. That's. That's the point. It takes all the shittiest countries we have and gets them all excited about one shitty sport. No wonder that. Of course there's corruption.
Natasha Leggero
You should promote your London dates.
Adam Carolla
Oh yeah, yeah. Coming out there. Details@amcurl.com Sorry.
Gina Grad
Well, granny panties are back in a big way. According to the New York Times, sales of thongs and other sexy underwear have gone down 7% over the past year. But sales of briefs, boy shorts and high waisted granny panties have shot up 17%. Fashion experts say this rise in comfortable underwear is because women are buying under things for themselves and not to impress men. And women are even showing off their granny panties on Instagram with Belfies or butt selfies.
Matt Atchity
Those are granny panties though. That's just like hot. I think that's kind of hot vintage looking.
Gina Grad
How say you?
Matt Atchity
What do you think of that look?
Adam Carolla
I'm fine with it. Because for a million years, every time the lingerie came up, women would go, I buy it for myself so I can feel sexy. And I'm like, that makes no sense at all to me. And I always knew it was bullshit. So you want to walk around with a fucking shoelace up your ass because it makes you feel sexy, but it's not for your boyfriend or your husband or your sugar daddy or whoever Christine McVeigh was singing about. But finally, yeah, just wear the shit that makes you comfortable. And dudes, all we want to do is get you out of whatever's blocking your vagina. So we don't give a shit what it looks like. You know, we'd like to model it. The fucking floor. That's what we're looking for. We're looking to get you out of that as fast as we can.
Matt Atchity
And then you don't care if it's like a landing strip or, or full bush or ball.
Adam Carolla
No, we have thoughts about that. But the part about the frilly whatever.
Gina Grad
Is the wrapping paper.
Adam Carolla
We'd like to get that out and get into the present.
Gina Grad
But the thing is, not everybody, I would say the majority of people don't look like that in those.
Adam Carolla
We're looking at a very hot, skinny chick.
Matt Atchity
I don't think she looks that hot. She has a butt.
Adam Carolla
She's just skinny.
Gina Grad
Very skinny.
Adam Carolla
Yes.
Gina Grad
So if that's containing a lot more, you're gonna go really with those.
Adam Carolla
Whatever. Samosa comfortable. Hit the floor as fast as possible. Yeah, whatever. I don't have to pull my stiletto out to get off you. That's right. Remember all those weird magazines that used to be like True Detective or whatever? It was always like at 7:11 in the magazine rack and I would have the guy with the stiletto and he'd have the little bra. He'd have it at the bra where the bra came together, and he'd be like, stiletto.
Natasha Leggero
In this case is the knife.
Adam Carolla
That's the knife. Not the heel. Not the heels. Sorry. Not the pump. Sorry. The. The knife.
Gina Grad
Got it.
Adam Carolla
All right, I'll find a picture. Gary, find a picture. What's next?
Gina Grad
Well, an artist named Richard Prince is taking people's Instagram photos without their permission, then blowing them up and putting them on display in an art gallery in New York. Even crazier, he's selling these pictures for up to $100,000. Meanwhile, Prince somehow skirts copyright infringement by replacing the original captions from the pictures with his own comments, which are sometimes just nothing more than a couple emojis.
Natasha Leggero
Brilliant.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Natasha Leggero
This is brilliant.
Gina Grad
It's not. I guess it is. Even though some pictures have been sold for a hefty price tag, many people are not impressed by this exhibit, tweeting that what Prince did isn't art, it's theft.
Matt Atchity
Ah, but he looks so cool.
Gina Grad
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
Front page Detective.
Gina Grad
He looks like if John Malkovich and Michael Keaton had a baby.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Natasha Leggero
And Stacy Keach, he looks kind of pervy.
Matt Atchity
And all these pictures in the background, they're like sexual, sexy girls.
Gina Grad
But wouldn't you be kind of pissed if your picture. Yeah, I'm not stupid enough to do that.
Adam Carolla
Artists and photographers are the biggest pervs in the world because it's never like, well, who'd you choose as a subject? Fat dudes in their underpants? Like, it's always hot chicks doing something. And because you have artistic license, you can bring the chicks over and go, all right, let's get you out of those clothes. There's no other job. You know, dentists can't really. Dentists think that way, but they can't work that way. Like, come on over. Let's get your cleaning going. Let's get you out of that blouse. But artists and photographers, they get to get you out of your clothes immediately. That's how.
Natasha Leggero
That's part of the job.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. They're always fucking weirdos. So it's always.
Gina Grad
And if you can't get them out of their clothes, you go on Instagram and find one where they're already out of their clothes. And then sell the reprint, right.
Natasha Leggero
Everyone posting photos on Instagram and Facebook and everybody, that's not your property anymore, you put it up on Facebook, it's theirs.
Matt Atchity
You really believe that? Is that true?
Natasha Leggero
It's true. That's. That's the law.
Gina Grad
I think the copyright book's property yeah, it's not yours.
Adam Carolla
You put it up on the website.
Matt Atchity
And everyone puts a little copyright doesn't matter that they're.
Natasha Leggero
You've operated it.
Gina Grad
And I think the copyright infringement is an Instagram violation. He's not worried about the individual's picture.
Natasha Leggero
No, not at all.
Gina Grad
Yeah.
Matt Atchity
By the way, I was just in Rome. Selfie sticks are everywhere.
Natasha Leggero
Really?
Matt Atchity
It is like, not just Asian people, it is Italians. Americans. No shame. Selfie sticks at the Vatican. Nine guys trying to sell you selfie sticks. There's not enough people in all of Rome to buy all the selfie sticks that are for sale on every single corner. And everyone's at the Colosseum and at the Vatican. It's insanity.
Adam Carolla
So we're gonna have. I'm trying to figure out, like I figured out that we're gonna have syndromes like that come from these modern day whatevers. One is a syndrome called floating liver, which is you chugging too much bottled water before you go through security at the airport because you paid $5 for the fucking 2 liter thing and you're not meant to chug that much water in 18 seconds. The other is going to be called white lung. It's my kids getting sprayed with sunscreen. My wife, before they go to school is like spraying it all over their face and their head and the back. And I can see a cloud of this weird matter. And they're living and they're sucking it all up. Like they're not holding their nose, they're breathing in sunscreen, weaponized sunscreen. And there's going to be like rotator cuff injuries that are caused by selfie sticks. Like there's going to be selfie shoulder syndrome where it's like you spent better part of your twenties with your arm in the exact wrong position.
Natasha Leggero
Tennis elbow was like the 80s mouth.
Adam Carolla
Because no one ever properly warms up or stretches out before they do a selfie.
Matt Atchity
A selfie shoot.
Adam Carolla
And they do it oftentimes when they're drunk. And so they're exceeding a lot of limitations of their joints.
Natasha Leggero
Gina, this could be your thing. Yeah, this could be your. Your big thing.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Gina Grad
I'm going to be an advocate starting tomorrow. You know, they also make a selfie stick now with a fake hand attached to it, so when you're holding it, it looks like you're holding somebody's hand so you're not totally alone taking pictures.
Matt Atchity
But would you ever use one of those? I wouldn't. People in Rome somehow. No. Shame.
Adam Carolla
Somebody is going to have to attempt to take down an Airplane with a selfie stick so we can get these fucking things off the.
Natasha Leggero
Who's that hero listener gonna be?
Gina Grad
Here's why I would use one, but I haven't sought one out. But here's why I would use it as a, as a, as a wild narcissist. I love taking pictures of myself. Like my hair is looking right or wherever. And if I can't get a good distance that I can eliminate that extra chin. I'd like a little more distance. I'd pay for that.
Adam Carolla
All right. I mean, all right. So you will use. You do.
Gina Grad
I would use. I do not own one. I don't use it.
Matt Atchity
Would you use it in public? Like if you were at the Vatican or at the Coliseum or one of these wonders of the world and you would just sit there with a selfie stick?
Gina Grad
I have a certain modicum of shame, so I probably wouldn't me.
Matt Atchity
Like, I don't understand, but every single person had one. I feel like I was the only person who didn't have a selfie stick.
Natasha Leggero
And what do you do with it.
Matt Atchity
When you're not taking like they're knocking into people? I mean, it's just, it's tourist, tourist season and it's.
Gina Grad
What's it called? The. Exactly. And you can't take them on rides at Disneyland because they're destroying animatronic bears.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, we're also. It's weird because it's the, it's sort of the newest, you know, the smartphone. The newest. I mean, more computing power than the first five Apollo missions in the palm of your hand. But the only thing we can figure out is a three foot stick to attach it to and hold it up in front of us. Yeah.
Matt Atchity
And it still runs out of battery.
Adam Carolla
Which is the oldest fucking shit in the world. Like, it is a weird sort of turn of the century. It's a stick meets something. Yes, it's a stick. All right.
Gina Grad
Well, Fox News Megyn Kelly has landed the first interview with Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar in the wake of their family scandal. This is all according to Yahoo News. Since news broke that their oldest son, Josh Duggar, has admitted to molesting multiple underage girls, including some of of his sisters 12 years ago when he was a teenager. His parents have released only written statements. They've come under fire of how they handled it when his admission way back when. Whether it was reported accurately to the authorities when they finally brought it to light, whether he received the proper punishment and rehabilitation, whether the victims felt protected. The interview will air Wednesday, June 3rd at 9pm ET on the Kelly File.
Adam Carolla
Was I with her over the weekend or over the weekend, week, last week? Is that her on that show? Then I got all my Fox chicks all fucking. Was Megan the one who got pissed off at me? What'd you do?
Natasha Leggero
A couple of those chicks got pissed.
Adam Carolla
Off at you, but let me look into it. I'm not. I can't remember. I was like. They were doing a thing on, like, Hillary Clinton. And I was like, all right, hypothetical. Who's had sex less? Hillary and Bill Clinton or Oprah and Stedman? And they were like, you know what? We're not even going to go there. And I was like, why not? It's a hypothetical. And they're like, no, you know what? No, no. And then a certain point, they're like, carly Fiorini is, you know, hurling stuff at. At Hillary and Hillary's firing back. Very familiar. Oh, that's her. She sing. She was the one who was pissed off when I said that.
Matt Atchity
That is such a great question.
Adam Carolla
And I. That's what I thought. But they wanted no part of it. Then later on, Carly Fiorini was saying, talking about Hillary Clinton, and I said, listen, the only time women should be fighting is in a fountain. They were all looking at me like a piece of news was going to come out of my mouth. I think they got a laugh out of that one, didn't they? Yeah, they did chuckle at a few of them. That was one of their favorites, I think. Who is this fucking idiot and why is he on our show sitting in between us? And I was like, you know what we got to do? They're talking about, like, shutting Guantanamo Bay or something. I was like, we need to take that arrow that faces mechanism Mecca and face it toward Vegas. If anybody is listening who works at Guantanamo Bay, take that stupid arrow that faces toward Mecca and face it toward Vegas. And then sit there eating your pork sandwich and laugh your ass off. And they're like, the fuck is this guy talking about? And they got real sensitive over the.
Natasha Leggero
Pulled pork thing, I think, because pork.
Adam Carolla
And the Muslim faith or something.
Natasha Leggero
Yeah, that was the job. The pulled pork was just a random comment you made.
Adam Carolla
No, no, I was making a joke about Muslim faith. Yeah, I know what I'm doing. Yeah, they got real fucking sensitive about that. They turned the direction of that interview about six different times every time you made it.
Gina Grad
So that's when it went dark. They were confused and then they were pissed.
Adam Carolla
They laughed a lot. They also told me, you know, they also got very. Yeah, Megan, was sitting next to me getting pissed off sometimes. But in general, Fun. Had to have a few interesting, you know, conversations where I was like, I don't know, we're talking about extradition or something. And I was like, we should be able to go get Roman Polanski and bring him back here. Fuck France or whatever. And they're like, they all looked at me and go, we don't want Roman Polanski back in this country. And I said, well, not to let him so we could prosecute him. Not because, oh, my daughter's going to be 11 soon.
Natasha Leggero
Set him adrift in the field.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, she needs to be roofied and penetrated anally. No sweethearts to bring to justice. Not to party with.
Matt Atchity
All right, Anyway, but it is interesting that two shows on TLC have gotten.
Gina Grad
Yeah, here comes Honey Boo Boo and the Duggars.
Matt Atchity
Honey Boo Boo, he was molesting the kid and then this guy is molesting. See, these people shouldn't be on tv. That's the problem. TLC gets the dregs of society or, you know, these dark pockets, terrible life choices.
Adam Carolla
I'll tell you what's a good life choice. DraftKings, baby, baseball's back. Be part of the action@draftkings.com the official Daily Fantasy partner of Major League Baseball. Daily fantasy. No season long commitment, just instant cash, instant gratification. Let's not wait till the end of the season to get paid. You just pick a couple of teams, pick a couple of pitchers. All right, so two pitchers, eight position players, and then you pick up your cash. Last year, Pete. I call him Pete. His name is Peter. Colorado, probably the Denver area, not the outskirts, where it's boring. He won a million dollars in. That's DraftKings. DraftKings. Dawson, hurry to DraftKings.com now and use.
Brian Bishop
Promo code Adam to play for free in today's $10,000 fantasy baseball contest.
Adam Carolla
DraftKings.com official partner of major League Baseball. Enter Adam for free entry now@draftkings.com that's draftkings.com all right, let's do another.
Gina Grad
You got it. Well, if you're still looking for somewhere exotic to go this summer and don't mind a vacation that comes with a heavy dose of socialist propaganda and leader worship, North Korea says it's just the place for you. The tourism push was formally endorsed by Kim Jong Un in March of 2013 and is seen as both a potentially lucrative revenue stream and a means of countering those crazy stereotypes of the country as starving backward and relentlessly bleak.
Adam Carolla
My daughter wants to go there and go ziplining. Oh, yeah.
Natasha Leggero
God willing, she'll achieve that dream.
Adam Carolla
I am over gulag.
Gina Grad
Oh, yeah. I am completely obsessed with all things North Korea. It's just the craziest place I could possibly imagine. I tell people about it, and they think it's like a science fiction movie.
Adam Carolla
Could somebody do me a favor? And I mean this in the spirit in which it's intended. Could somebody go to North Korea, just tap them on the shoulder and explain to them that they're Asian? And could somebody go to Russia and tap them on their shoulder, explain to them they're white?
Natasha Leggero
Right.
Adam Carolla
Knock it off. Yeah, you guys are fucking up the curve. What is up with you fucking guys in line? Can you guys. What. What the Is going on in that piece of shit place? What is like, someone needs to tap on the show and go, you know, you're Asian. Yeah, knock it off.
Gina Grad
Act accordingly.
Adam Carolla
Accordingly.
Natasha Leggero
Promoting tourism.
Gina Grad
Yes. And they said they get about 100,000 tourists a year, but they're mostly from China. And I have friends who taught English in South Korea and then went. And they. You can visit the hospitals, which. All the patients in the hospitals are accessible. Actors. You can visit schools. All actors in Pyongyang, the general stores and, like, the drugstores. None of that's for sale. It's just there for show. Nothing goes in, nothing goes out. It is a crazy place.
Matt Atchity
Actors, North Korean actors, they're pretending like they're teachers.
Gina Grad
They're pretending like they're teachers. They're pretending like they're people in hospital beds. Sick people.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Matt Atchity
I mean, that's enough for me to go fast.
Natasha Leggero
North Korea, a lot show.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, it's. It's in. It's 2015. What with the Internet. What's going on?
Natasha Leggero
Mention that when you tap them on the shoulder.
Gina Grad
I don't think they have Internet, by the way.
Adam Carolla
I'm just saying the rest of the world does. Like, what. What goes on? I just. We're all supposed to be wearing gray Mylar jumpsuits and flying around in hovercrafts. What the fuck is going on in North Korea? How does this. How do they keep the crazy going this long? You know what I mean? Like, sort of like when the Berlin Wall came down, we all kind of just went, all right, well, that'll be about. That'll be the end of that. Yeah. You know, the crazy countries in half and the super oppressive governments and the.
Gina Grad
City was in half.
Adam Carolla
We're good. Like, are we good now? Like, we figured it out. The Communists Not a great plan oppressing everyone. People want freedom. People want a democracy. People want a free market system. We have other examples. America, Canada and places like that.
Matt Atchity
Wasn't the Sony hack very sophisticated?
Adam Carolla
No. I mean, yes and no. I saw a story on it where they said about that the fat guy said about the computer Experts said about 5,000 guys could do that hack that Sony, wasn't that also.
Natasha Leggero
They were supposedly working with someone else. They sort of. Third party, right? Hired, yeah, Hired out, contracted.
Gina Grad
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
But every country that has, you know, 2 billion zombies is going to have three smart guys who can fuck everyone's shit up with nuclear this or shutting down, you know, systems and computers and things like that.
Natasha Leggero
Oh, also, I saw a weird thing. There's American expats who live in North Korea. And they portrayed like wildly exaggerated evil Americans in North Korean movies. Like when they need an evil American, the expats play the evil American some.
Gina Grad
Light treason is what you're saying.
Natasha Leggero
There's some sedition.
Gina Grad
And when you say, when is this gonna end and how do we do this? Well, I think the oppression is gonna continue. When the leader takes his uncle and starves dogs for three days and then throws his naked uncle and his cohorts in and feeds him to. It's not going to get any better anytime soon.
Adam Carolla
No, I know. I was always thinking about the Germans decided to go after the Jews.
Natasha Leggero
That did happen.
Adam Carolla
Gypsies, no problemo. Because they're not going to invent an atomic bomb later on and fuck up your campaign to take over the world. But Jews might come up with something.
Natasha Leggero
Sure.
Adam Carolla
And half the guys that did the atomic bomb, not that we dropped it on Jury, but big part of World War II, half the guys that were there were former guys who fled, came here, and then started working on the technology to beat you in World War II.
Natasha Leggero
Wasn't that Oppenheimer? Or am I totally wrong about that?
Adam Carolla
Yeah, I think. I don't know if he. I'm pretty sure he probably came from over there. Right? So my point is. Or something, whatever it is, whatever your group is, go after the gypsies or the. Or the retarded people. You know what I mean? Don't go after the Jews.
Natasha Leggero
Good strategy.
Adam Carolla
They'll leave and bite you in the ass from some lab 6,000 miles away four years from now. You see what I'm saying?
Natasha Leggero
Good advice.
Gina Grad
Noted.
Adam Carolla
I would have been great at that meeting. You know what? We got to get. We got to go after the retards, all right? And the gypsies, all right?
Natasha Leggero
Sold.
Adam Carolla
And the Jews, not the ones with the history in math and science. We should keep them. Definitely. The ones that are like, you know.
Natasha Leggero
The ones that's not Castle Wideonette, go.
Adam Carolla
Down to the diamond district and go ahead and get them. But the ones that are excelling in math and sciences.
Natasha Leggero
So we're in a lab coat. Stay away.
Adam Carolla
Oh. He was an Oppenheimer. Was American boy. His father immigrated.
Natasha Leggero
I knew it.
Adam Carolla
That's right.
Natasha Leggero
Can we edit that, please? Thank you.
Adam Carolla
Mm. All right, let's bring it home.
Gina Grad
I'm Gina Grad, and that's the news. As a wild narcissist, I love taking pictures of myself.
Adam Carolla
Gina. Gina. That was the news with Gina Grad. LegalZoom, baby. Ah. Would you like to be a famous entrepreneur? I'll tell you how to do it. How do you help? Maybe you just want to be an innovator, Launch your dreams. Do it this month@legalzoom.com for a limited time, you get special savings on trademarks, copyrights, provisional patent applications, all the stuff you need to protect yourself. They can help you get a great start@legalzoom.com not a law firm. So you can get advice from a network of independent attorneys in most states. And don't forget to enter Adam at the referral box at checkout. Let him know you heard it here. I tried to get something patented once, and it was like thousands of dollars and a whole bunch of time, and it never even worked out. I wish LegalZoom was around back then. Legal Zoom. I think it was. Unleashed the sports drink for dogs.
Natasha Leggero
Careful, you say keep that in there.
Adam Carolla
Why shouldn't they have sports drink? They're out there. Four legs. We only have two.
Natasha Leggero
Twice as hard. Think about it.
Adam Carolla
Pulling those sleds with the lesbians. LegalZoom.com Legal Help is here. It's Legal Zoom. Let them know. Adam says. All right, let's see. What do we have? Road hard on iTunes. You want to check that out? Live shows everywhere. Go to amcurl.com and find out whatever you need to know about the movies and the books. Daddy, stop talking. Grab that on Amazon and make my publisher happy. Everyone seems to enjoy it. Natasha Leggiero. Sorry. Natasha Leggiero. Another period. I love this idea. June 23rd at 10:30 on Comedy Central and also the website Natasha Leggero. L E G g e r o.com is where you go and you can find out dates and shows and whatever's coming on. Oh, I was reading here you got a credit in Modern Family.
Matt Atchity
I just did. An episode.
Adam Carolla
Has it aired yet?
Matt Atchity
Yes. Why? You love that show?
Adam Carolla
I do love that show. Is it. So I gotta go back and watch it. I got it. My TV just aired.
Matt Atchity
It aired like a month ago.
Adam Carolla
Which, which one was it?
Matt Atchity
Claire and her husband were on a flight and then they. She got to sit in first class and he said, I don't know, I don't usually watch the show.
Adam Carolla
It's a really funny show. It is.
Matt Atchity
And they were so great. So I was, I was just this drunk sitting next to Claire in first class. And we have like a whole little story.
Adam Carolla
The one where they went to Australia, maybe. All right, either way, we'll. We'll figure it out. So until next time, Sam Corolla for Natasha Legero, Gina Gran Ball. Brian saying mahalo. He's got to stay away from my coach. All right, this is adam Cole show 1584.
Natasha Leggero
It's a great detach with Gerald coming.
Adam Carolla
For our final clip today we have.
Natasha Leggero
Adam Kroll show 21:48 from 2017 featuring Lisa, Lillian, Gina Grad and Brian Bishop. Hope you guys enjoy.
Adam Carolla
Hey, it's Adam Kroll from the Adam Krolla show. Bet online is the world's most trusted betting platform and your number one source for online betting. From the earliest odds to in game live betting, Betonline provides you with all the action and the ability to watch and bet on games as they happen. With the largest selection of odds on everything from football, NBA, college basketball as well. BetOnline has NHL, MMA and championship boxing, all your betting needs in one place. Head to betonline today to get in on the action with America's most trusted site for online wagering. So have some fun. Make these games and these events and these combat sports a little more interesting with bet online. Bet online. The game starts here. Hey, Nick. 36, Pennsylvania. Hi there. How's it going? H man. What's going on, man? I was just thinking the other day, between Reasonable doubt Adam and Dr. Drew show and this show and Gary's vast and possibly criminal search history on his computer, he's got to get on Jeopardy. You know, he's got to be the jack of all trades by now. He can win jeopardy. Young money, cash money.
Gina Grad
I'm sure that's not an answer.
Natasha Leggero
Question.
Adam Carolla
Gary, feel like you're learning a lot in front of Dr. Drew and myself and Gargis and company.
Natasha Leggero
I'm certainly searching for things I would.
Adam Carolla
Never be prone to on my own, that's for sure. It's probably a good way to learn some. Find guys a Little older than you, talk about stuff you never heard of and then go find it.
Natasha Leggero
Our next category, obscure 70s TV shows. Yeah, cleans up Daily double. I wonder about it all.
Adam Carolla
There's gotta be some questions about McGrath the crime dog that no one else would know. Oh, somebody tweeted me that McGruff the crime crime Dog was like indicted and thrown to prison. Yeah, yeah, I saw that. Aside, out of crime. That's the mascot.
Natasha Leggero
Wasn't he animated?
Adam Carolla
Well, yeah, but you have to then have the real life version to show up at the AAA ballpark and hand out flyers for five bucks off a taffy or whatever. They do take a bite out of crime. Yeah, he had to show up. And by the way, he was doing Jimmy Durante. Now that I. Now that I think about it, well, it's the biggest cop out. This is why Hanna Barbera are huge hacks. When they would do Jabberjaw, it wasn't, hello, my name is Jabberjaws. And it's like, oh, you're doing Curly, I see. But you have nine year olds watching who don't know who. Curly is innovative. They would just kind of rip off the act. The person actors from the 30s and 40s and then just use. Have a guy go, can you do Jimmy Durante? Can you do Curly from the three Robinson? And just go do it. And we'll put with our. So you hear what for? No, somebody tweeted me that McGrath who exposing himself. Picture him just holding the pop like he's in Mexico City Olympics and he's doing the black power sign. What? What did he do? So he was in the mascot for like 15 years or something? Something like that, yeah. My favorite headline was Just because they're so.
Natasha Leggero
It's such a dichotomy.
Adam Carolla
McGruff the crime dog jailed for pot and grenade launchers. Now, when you look into the story, it appears he had several hundred to.
Natasha Leggero
A thousand pot plants and a lot of different weapons to protect them, presumably.
Adam Carolla
But yeah, McGruff growing the weed, I respect. If you're smart, he'd keep the cost heat. I would always. If I was growing weed edibles. If I were growing weed and I was MC Gruff, when I tended to the weed, I would put them a gruff outfit on. Not the helmet, I'm not a weirdo. But just put the trench coat.
Natasha Leggero
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
And I would keep with the little paws and stuff sticking through. And I'd keep the. Keep the head next to me and. And if the feds rolled in, I'd pop the Head on real quick. And I go. Everything under control here. McGraw is on it. I'll get these potheads, they cleared out.
Natasha Leggero
Take the rest of the day off.
Adam Carolla
The week. You've earned it. I'll clean up here and I'll lay in wait until the owner comes back. I'll net him and I'll bring him into the precinct myself. Meanwhile, move all the vans and armored vehicles away. You're just gonna scare them off and they'd probably. It would probably work. Yeah. I mean, you'd get that thing on the talkie. McGruff. When McGruff says clear out, you clear out.
Natasha Leggero
Yeah, McGruff's got out of control. Captain. Yes, the dog.
Adam Carolla
Yes, I would go. I would do what James woods did in the specialist.
Natasha Leggero
What did James woods do? Oh, sorry, I don't remember that.
Adam Carolla
Oh, Bry, you review movies for a living. I know, but not how can you. Oh, okay. Popcorn stuff. I'm the man of the people.
Natasha Leggero
I don't really go to the high.
Adam Carolla
School of any credibility.
Natasha Leggero
Refresh my memory.
Adam Carolla
Dare find James. Two seconds. Showing up to the precinct. If this goes.
Natasha Leggero
I'm on Jeopardy, I'm good.
Adam Carolla
I know exactly what I'm looking for. I don't even need you to describe it. All right, I'll. All right. All right. You look that up. I'll tell you guys. All right, let me just hop down the phone here and bring Lisa in a second. All right, hold on. I put somebody on. Hold on a second. All right, Wait, wait. Go ahead and just run James woods and turn it up. This is a tour de forest. This is a man in his bed. He's going into the precinc to talk to the bomb squad guys. Hey, sport, where's the bomb squad? What I would do with the. With the guys that the. The guys. Alcohol and tobacco guys. Firearms, who wanted to bust me. My pot farm. But I. Do it. McGraw. Come on, boys and girls, come on. What are we doing here? Let's look alive, huh? What do you got? We're looking into everyone at the party. Doing a complete background. Somebody blew up the party.
Natasha Leggero
Give me the next one.
Adam Carolla
All right, Sharon Stone. Back when computers made noises, when they did important things.
Natasha Leggero
Hit the enhance button.
Adam Carolla
Yes, Enhance. You know that button. Tell you what, I'll handle the biographies. You go back to tracing C4. Okay, Ace. Telling everybody how to do their job. She says you're on this. Fine, but I don't take orders from any X anything. Right, base. And I gotta tell you something. I mean, I'm Sorry, but I thought your chief said that the fullest cooperation would be forthcoming. And I gotta tell you something, sport. This doesn't feel like full cooperation to me. I mean, look at this shit here. What is this? This is. Shouldn't this be in the lockup? I mean, I don't know. Maybe I'm wrong. You guys are the experts. Maybe you don't need me. I mean, like, what is this? This is plastique.
Gina Grad
This is Semtex. Am I right?
Adam Carolla
Plastique, Plastic explosive. Am I right?
Gina Grad
I don't know.
Adam Carolla
You're the expert.
Gina Grad
I mean, this little bit could blow.
Adam Carolla
Up this whole area. And if this area goes, you know, the whole building could go up. Am I right? Gosh, I don't know. I mean, this is what I do. If I put this in here. Got a ball? What else do we have here? Oh, this is a. A plunger detonator. Am I right? And that's a little mini receiver.
Gina Grad
You know, this looks like American circuitry to me.
Adam Carolla
And I gotta tell you, call me a patriot, but American craftsmanship. All the ingredients making out in the lobby. Here we go.
Brian Bishop
Let's just see.
Adam Carolla
Hold on to your underpants. Perfect fit. Gonna heat up first time every time. Screw it on. And one little twist. And voila. A perfect receiver bomb. Which, of course, is absolutely worthless without a transmitter. That's gonna work. All the equipment going live. He's never been there before, but he knows we're hot. Okay, now the pen goes into the brick of C4. Okay? You cut that secret. Oh, yeah. Huh? Come on. Come on. Okay, you made your point, all right? Have I? Huh? Huh?
Natasha Leggero
Okay, that's enough.
Adam Carolla
Holding in front of him. You think I give a if this whole block goes up? I don't. You mean you've had enough? Isn't that what you're saying? Enough is enough, huh? I can't do it. Well, what the hell are you? You crazy or something? I'm the craziest person you'll ever meet in your life. 6. Blow up the whole building. 4. 3. Please. Now, here's a tip. You take care of the work, you leave the folks at the party to me. Okay? We on the same page here.
Natasha Leggero
So that's your move with McGrath.
Adam Carolla
Ace. Well, the. As McGrath. As McGrath, yeah. When? When the DEA guys showed up, or the ATF guys, or whoever showed up, I would give them that speech and tell them to hit the bricks, but in the McGraw plastic. So, Brian, are you moved?
Natasha Leggero
Very much so. I can see. This is like a prequel to Casino. He sees Sharon Stone and it tracks her down. Is that in Las Vegas?
Gina Grad
Yes.
Adam Carolla
I forgot how great he was in that.
Natasha Leggero
That place hated him.
Adam Carolla
Where are you? Such a latch where are you?
Natasha Leggero
Come back to me.
Adam Carolla
I love that. All right. Real. That's a tour. That's James woods at his best.
Natasha Leggero
All right, that's our final clip of the day.
Adam Carolla
Adam Cole Show.
Natasha Leggero
2148. Until next weekend.
Adam Carolla
Mahalo.
Natasha Leggero
And get it on.
Adam Carolla Show: Alex Winter + Natasha Leggero (Carolla Classics) – Detailed Summary
In the December 15, 2024 episode of "Carolla Classics", hosted by Alex Winter and featuring Natasha Leggero, listeners are taken on a nostalgic journey through memorable moments from over 15 years of "The Adam Carolla Show." This episode delves into discussions on film critiques, parenting challenges, neighborhood issues, and touches upon intriguing documentaries like "Deep Web."
Natasha Leggero kicks off the episode by welcoming listeners to "Corolla Classics," a companion podcast that showcases the best highlights and fan favorites from Adam Carolla's extensive podcast history.
The heart of the episode revolves around the "Rotten Tomatoes game," where guests Alex Winter, Natasha Leggero, Matt Atchity, and Gina Grad compare classic comedies to determine which holds up better over time.
Comparison of "Bill and Ted" vs. "Harold and Kumar":
Adam Carolla expresses his admiration for both films but leans towards the original "Bill and Ted" for its tight narrative and enduring humor:
"Bill and Ted's holds up really well. The second one does, too. But the first one really is a great movie." (02:37)
Natasha Leggero adds that nostalgia enhances the viewing experience for younger audiences:
"Bill and Ted is the better movie. Helen Carr. Good. But Bill and Ted better." (02:43)
Gina Grad highlights the films' commitment to their absurd premises:
"That's what I was. Completely commit to it. And it makes it like a great comedy adventure." (03:44)
Rotten Tomatoes Scores:
The group discusses the differing critic and audience scores, noting that "Bill and Ted" scored 79% and "Harold and Kumar" scored 74% on Rotten Tomatoes. They ponder whether these scores reflect the movies' true quality or the impact of nostalgia.
Transitioning from films, the conversation shifts to parenting, specifically addressing challenges faced by parents with young boys in academic settings.
Brian Bishop shares a listener's dilemma about his son facing disciplinary action for discouraging a peer:
"My son leans over to his buddy and says, hey, man, he just got beat by a girl. They both kind of snicker. That's it." (37:18)
Adam Carolla offers advice, emphasizing the frustration with policies that penalize minor infractions:
"In today's PC world... I just really thought it's important that..." (38:56)
Natasha Leggero and Gina Grad discuss the societal shifts towards over-sensitivity and the impact on boys' natural behaviors.
A significant portion of the podcast addresses the pervasive issue of neighborhood noise pollution and strategies for resolving conflicts with disruptive neighbors.
Adam Carolla shares his personal frustrations with noisy neighbors who disturb the peace with loud motorcycles and gardening equipment:
"How much of that has permeated your life and hurt your quality of life versus secondhand smoke..." (44:47)
Natasha Leggero and Gina Grad contribute by discussing effective communication strategies before escalating to legal actions:
"I would put a note on behalf of the neighbors, pin it to his door..." (48:05)
Brian Bishop underscores the importance of addressing such issues amicably to maintain community harmony.
The podcast briefly touches upon the "Deep Web" documentary, which explores the infamous Silk Road online marketplace.
Brian Bishop explains the technical aspects of the darknet and how Silk Road utilized technologies like Tor and Bitcoin to facilitate anonymous transactions:
"The Deep Web refers to basically all the data that's online that isn't indexed by Google or other search engines." (57:55)
Adam Carolla expresses intrigue about the subject, highlighting the documentary's relevance in understanding modern digital marketplaces:
"It's the biggest thing that had ever hit the darknet and the biggest thing that had ever used Bitcoin." (58:21)
In a lighter segment, the guests critique the ubiquitous presence of selfie sticks, questioning their necessity and impact on social interactions.
Adam Carolla humorously dissects the cultural obsession with self-images:
"But the only thing we can figure out is a three-foot stick to attach it to and hold it up in front of us." (203:08)
Gina Grad and Natasha Leggero chime in with their perspectives, debating the practicality and social implications of such gadgets.
As the podcast nears its end, the hosts promote their upcoming projects, including Adam Carolla's book "Daddy Stop Talking" and other live shows. They also encourage listeners to engage with their content through various platforms.
Adam Carolla on nostalgia and movie reception:
"Nostalgia is sort of insulting." (03:01)
Natasha Leggero on the strength of movie narratives:
"Super strong is putting it lightly." (03:26)
Gina Grad on committing to absurd premises:
"That's what I was. Completely commit to it. And it makes it like a great comedy adventure." (03:44)
Adam Carolla on neighborhood conflicts:
"My thing with everyone is you give them one shot before the fuzz gets involved." (09:24)
Brian Bishop on the ethical foundations of Silk Road:
"Silk Road was actually created with a very heavy ethics involved." (61:07)
This episode of "Carolla Classics" masterfully blends humor with critical discussions on films, parenting, and community living. Through engaging dialogues and insightful perspectives, Adam Carolla and his guests provide listeners with both laughter and thoughtful commentary on everyday challenges and societal trends.
Note: Timestamps are approximate and correspond to the sections discussed.