Andrew Klavan on Just How Woke Hollywood Really Is + Huge “No Kings” Protests Incoming

Summary

Adam Carolla Show — Episode Summary
Andrew Klavan on Just How Woke Hollywood Really Is + Huge “No Kings” Protests Incoming
Original Air Date: October 15, 2025
Host: Adam Carolla
Guest: Andrew Klavan
News: Alicia Krause

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Episode Overview

This episode features a candid and comedic discussion between Adam Carolla and author/political commentator Andrew Klavan. The conversation dives into how Hollywood enforces “woke” orthodoxy, blacklisting conservatives in subtle yet pervasive ways. Adam also shares travel stories and riffs on cultural shifts, while news segments cover recent large-scale protests (like the “No Kings” movement) and oddball activism. The episode maintains Adam’s signature blend of irreverence and sharp pop-culture critique, highlighted by Klavan’s first-hand Hollywood experiences.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Adam’s Recap: Travel, Standup, and Production Anecdotes

(03:00–16:30)

• Adam details his whirlwind trip to New York and Pennsylvania, including stand-up performances and live podcast tapings with Dr. Drew and Kat Timpf.
• He humorously recounts logistical headaches — train snafus, rushing to gigs, and “merch bag drama.”
• This leads to a classic Carolla rant about travel, food, and co-traveler Mike August’s perpetual confusion, especially about pizza orders.

Notable Quote:
"People are always confused around Mike...all because the word 'only' gets added to things. It’s a version of the word 'only.' Nobody needs that. You open the door for confusion." — Adam Carolla (31:24)

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Food, Friendship, and the “Mike August Essence”

(19:16–34:18)

• Adam and co-hosts share stories highlighting Mike August’s well-meaning but scatterbrained nature — specifically in how he relays food orders and facts.
• Example: Adam’s recurring struggle to get a sausage and onion pizza instead of default “three cheese, three pepperoni,” and Mike’s miscommunications creating chaos for support staff.

Memorable Moment:
"'Mike, you said Nick made the lasagna.' He goes, 'I don’t know. All right, but stop it then. Stop it!'” — Adam Carolla, on Mike’s assertion that their friend cooked the lasagna (21:13)

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Observations on Modern Protests: “No Kings” and Naked Activism

(38:01–47:30)

• News segment recaps the Portland “nude die-in” and “No Kings” anti-authoritarian protests.
• Adam marvels at the performative, sometimes aimless nature of modern protests — “I need a little more of a theme if I’m going to push back. A general vagary of ‘No Kings’ is not enough.” (41:00)
• He mocks the self-importance and repetitious language of protest leaders:
  • "I am literally obsessed with self-important people. I realize, I don’t know why, I’m fascinated by really self-important people. Also people that talk and say nothing." (42:10)

Timestamped Highlight:

• [42:00] Clip of “No Kings” protest leader dramatically predicting “the largest peacetime protest in American history,” which Adam calls "obsessed with filler words."

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Political Rhetoric, Fear Culture, and Media Manipulation

(46:36–54:57)

• Adam and Dawson hash out the way contemporary activism uses emotionally-charged language (“authoritarianism is a cancer”) to drive fear.
• Adam contrasts this style with historical struggles, expressing weariness at the hyperbole:
  • "If you survived a camp in Nazi Poland, you should be super insulted they’re calling everyone Hitler today." (46:50)
• Adam relates a personal story about his father succumbing to fear narratives over “kids in cages,” reflecting on how rapidly minds can be manipulated in the current media cycle.

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Trump Border Policy Clip & Commentary

(52:32–54:57)

• Adam plays a clip of Donald Trump describing Venezuela “emptying their prisons” into the U.S. and characterizing Biden as “low IQ.”
• Adam sees this as paradigmatic Trump: “There’s a 40-second soundbite that’ll teach you everything—history teachers, throw away those books.” (56:32)

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Core Interview: Andrew Klavan on “Woke” Hollywood & Censorship

(61:05–80:08)

Klavan’s Hollywood Journey

• Andrew recounts transitioning from novelist to Hollywood screenwriter, describing Hollywood’s “dimmer switch” blacklisting of conservatives:
  • “It’s not like during the McCarthy days...Now, they just won’t buy your scripts, or they drop loaded comments during meetings. My income vanished overnight when I started saying things like, ‘maybe it’s a good thing to invade Iraq.’” (61:31–64:49)

The Groupthink Enforced by Hollywood

• Both men deconstruct how every entertainment figure ends up with identical public stances, especially on issues like COVID:
  • “Covid should’ve been split—half wanting schools open, half not—but magically, they all end up on the same side. Statistically, that’s impossible unless they’re cowards.” — Adam Carolla (71:50)

“Feminization” of Institutions & Entertainment

• Adam and Andrew wade into controversial territory, examining how increased female participation in media and leadership transforms industries and sensibilities:
  • Klavan: “When women take over a field that was previously not...it’s a sign that men have moved on. It doesn’t mean women are not competent; it just means the cutting edge has shifted elsewhere.” (75:34)
  • Adam: “If you blink and suddenly it’s 63% women, the field will change. It will be a different thing.” (78:12)

Hollywood, Safety Videos, and Performative Diversity

• Adam rants about the performative “wokeness” of airline safety videos, methodically (and sarcastically) tallying racial and gender representation in a recent United video to illustrate how “diversity casting” often feels artificial rather than organic.
  • “I get the whole diversity thing, but if it’s all black people, it’s confusing and seems weird when they’re 13% of the population...It becomes distracting.” (90:06)
• Klavan agrees, framing it as “lecturing” by the least qualified group—Hollywood.

Notable Quote:
"It’s not the diversity, it’s the lecturing. It’s offensive to be lectured at by people who make movies." — Andrew Klavan (91:03)

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Other Memorable/Lighthearted Moments

• Recurrent jokes about airline “tampering with, disabling, or destroying” smoke detectors, with Adam demanding: “It’s just tampering. You cannot tamper! If you disable or destroy, you first tampered with it.” (97:01)
• A tangent on how dining out has become “paying by the hour,” leading to a humorous call for executive orders mandating slower restaurant service. (100:12)
• Banter about men vs. women in creativity, with Klavan: “Men are funnier because they have to be—it's how they charm women. Women don’t have to charm men; we’ll follow them anywhere.” (77:12)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• [03:00] Adam’s travel stories and stand-up recaps
• [19:16] The “essence of Mike August” — food and confusion
• [38:01] Launch of news: Portland “nude die-in” and “No Kings” protests
• [42:00] “No Kings” leader’s hyperbolic announcement
• [46:36] Authoritarianism, protest rhetoric, and media fear
• [52:32] Trump on Venezuela, Biden, and “radical left lunatics”
• [61:05] Introduction of Andrew Klavan; Hollywood blacklisting
• [71:50] Groupthink and cowardice in entertainment
• [75:34] “Feminization” of industry, culture shift analysis
• [89:00] Airline safety video diversity riff
• [97:01] “Tampering with, disabling, or destroying” smoke detector routine
• [100:12] Restaurant time as dollar-per-hour experience

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Tone and Takeaways

The episode is fast-paced, irreverent, and filled with Adam’s trademark skepticism of institutional narratives—whether from Hollywood, protest movements, or airline safety videos. Andrew Klavan offers inside perspective on just how monolithic and conformist Hollywood has become, especially regarding politics and identity. Both speakers exhibit a blend of humor, cynicism, and (sometimes purposely) provocative cultural commentary.

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Final Thoughts

Through personal anecdotes, sharp cultural observation, and an unvarnished interview, Adam and Andrew dissect the consequences of ideological uniformity in Hollywood and celebrate the value of dissent—even when it leads to career risk or outsider status. The episode is as much a critique of performative progressivism as it is a paean to independent-mindedness, all delivered with Carolla’s signature “get it on” energy.

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Guest Plugs:
Andrew Klavan’s latest book in the Cameron Winter series is available for pre-order at DailyWire.com/Klavan. His podcast, The Andrew Klavan Show, runs on DailyWire.

Adam’s Plugs:
Upcoming live shows at Flappers (Burbank), The Wilbur (Boston), Electric City (Buffalo).
More info: AdamCarolla.com

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This summary covers all salient discussions, highlights key moments and quotes, and structures the flow for maximum clarity and engagement.

Transcript

[Adam Carolla]

Hey, in this episode, interesting conversation with Andrew Clavin, Alicia Krause going to do the news. I'll get you all caught up, I should say, on all my travels. And we'll do all that right after this. Bet online. Hey, it's Adam Carollo from the Adam Carolla Show. Football season is in full swing and there's no better place to get in on the action than BetOnline, your number one source for all things football. BetOnline Go gives you more ways to play with the latest odds, breaking news, live scores and even in game betting so you never miss out on a moment from every NFL and college game and matchup. BetOnline is your place for all things football. And if you love MLB or UFC or NHL, anything with letters in it, football futures, even Betonline keeps you locked into the action all year long. And don't forget the betonline VIP program with exclusive level up bonuses, weekly cash boosts and rewards designed for serious players. Head to betonline today. That's betonline. The game starts here.

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[Show Announcer / Producer]

From Corolla 1 Studios in Glendale, California, this is the Adam Carolla Show. Adam's guest today, political commentator and author Andrew Clavin. And the news with the Washington Examiner's Alisa Krauss. And now this ain't leisure world.

[Adam Carolla]

Ladies.

[Show Announcer / Producer]

Adam Carolla.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, get it on got to get it on no choice but you mandate you get it on now. Thanks for tuning in. Thanks for telling a friend we'd Love to hear about you. Good to see Alicia Krause.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

Yeah, sorry, I'm shedding my rain layer over here.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I like it.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

You do? So does my husband.

[Adam Carolla]

Good.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

And my kiddies, they think it's fun.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, I hate it when it's hot outside. I just do.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

I love to be warm and tan, you know.

[Adam Carolla]

I guess your relationship with the heat is sort of your relationship with life growing up. And if you had a life where like, oh, my folks had a condo in Palm Springs and we would go out there during summer break and it was awesome, we'd lay out by the pool all day and have margaritas or something. But if you grew up in a sweat box in the San Fernando Valley and your only two activities were Pop Warner football and. Or then later construction. It was all outdoors. It was no air conditioning and it was always brutal.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

You just are like anti the heat.

[Adam Carolla]

When you think of, look, I'm like a Vietnam vet hearing a helicopter. I'm having a reaction. I have a reaction. You may not have that. You may look at the helicopters. That's the one my dad used to get us from Manhattan. We'd take it all the way over to the beach. We didn't have to sit in traffic.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

I love when you think I have this very wealthy job.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm saying if one has that relationship.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

You know why I love the heat here in California is because I grew up in the Bible Belt where we'd have 100 degree days with 100% humidity. So a hundred degree day without the 100% humidity is glorious.

[Adam Carolla]

We don't have. Yes, we don't have it. But I'll tell you the other thing. There's all kinds of remedies now for the heat. Like when I see guys doing work on a road crew or they're outdoors, they do one of those pop up shelters and they're down there working on their stuff. But they're in shade. They're in shade. No one ever thought of that when I did it. Nobody ever thought of shade. They didn't even have gloves or broad brim hats or whatever. You were just jeans, boots, sun and no Vita water, Gatorade. There's nothing.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

It was literally a redneck.

[Adam Carolla]

You got a hose and that's what you got. So that's what I think of the heat. But I just got back, I went to New York.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

That sounded like such a fun trip. So many text messages from people that were excited that you were there.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, did you?

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

And we had a good time, but it was pretty Crazy. We got in Wednesday night kind of late. Had to do a couple of shows at Rodney's on Thursday night in the. In the city. So Dr. Drew did his first stand up set at Rodney's. I said to him, we'll do five minutes. And then he said, like, how about four minutes? Cause really, I mean, people don't think five minutes is long. I said, look, one round with Mike Tyson is three minutes. Yep, go ahead.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

And if the crowd isn't really laughing at your jokes, five minutes can seem like an eternity.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. So he goes, I'll do four. So he gets up there and he does 10 minutes.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

Stop.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Mm. Now he had no idea how long he was up there. You can't expect a rookie to keep track of time or whatever. There was a fucking clock. He could have looked at the clock, but you could never expect Drew to do that.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

Was it a good 10? Like, it was a solid 10. Like, he performed pretty well.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, he was good. He did, you know, he.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

So he didn't like, time himself. I would be so type A. I would be like writing out my jokes, memorizing my jokes, timing myself, practicing in front of a mirror.

[Adam Carolla]

He has done so much public speaking.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

That's true. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

That I don't think it was the public speaking part. So he wasn't gonna. And he didn't care enough, I mean, honestly, to sit there and put the kind of time holding the hairbrush up like a microphone in front of the full length mirror.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

I'd be practicing, like, even the cord throw that some comedians do.

[Adam Carolla]

So you tie the extension cord to the hairbrush so you can go, all right, what else in the news? And then my mom said, where are you from? Where are you from? Dating? Boy, it's tough out there, isn't it? So he did a good 10 minutes. He did a solid yeoman, like, standup.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

And he did stand up at a standup club in between standups. So that was great. Kat Timf came out from Gutfeld. She was very funny. She did a funny set. We went out and then we did a live podcast early show and then a standup show for the late show. Great. Hung out, just so you guys know. Signed the books, did the autographs, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Got back to the room, a hotel room about 12:30, something like that, by the time you get out of there. So it's late night. Had to be at Good Morning Manhattan or New York or whatever it was on the other side of town. Had to be there at 8:30 in the morning.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

Did you walk or did you try to cab it?

[Adam Carolla]

It's always a question. We cabbed it there and then we walked back.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

But then I feel like city walking doesn't feel like real walking.

[Adam Carolla]

No, I agree. Especially Manhattan. I love it. I love it. And it was fall. Had a little fall in the air. But here's what. Here's what Friday was for me. Got up at 7, by the way. Friday's coming off of Thursday and Thursday's two shows Thursday night and then coming.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

Back when you did a show and then a travel day.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

So you're stacking up all the working hours.

[Adam Carolla]

Yep. So Friday, get up, go do Good Morning New York or whatever I did, then get back to the hotel, pack up, take a little nap, get my crap together and go to Gutfeld, which is early taping. Cause it's Friday in Gutfeld. It's an insane thing. It's a 2 o' clock taping at 1:57. Well, first things first. It's a 2 o' Clock taping and they go, we gotta be there by 1:45. Which that doesn't exist in show business. In show business, you gotta get there two hours early.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

Yeah. Especially if you're a chick like me. Like, I get there 90 minutes before so they can make me look pretty.

[Adam Carolla]

They're like 1:45 for a two o' clock show. And every other late night show is segment producer. Tell me a story. Tell me a story. Two weeks before your hit. You know, this is just show up. What's going on? I don't know. Then it's like one. It's like 1:53 and nobody's there. Greg's not there. Cat's not there. Who the hell showed up? Oh, Emily Compagno shows up and I'm like, are we starting at 2? Because it's 6 minutes to 2 and Greg's not here. And then Greg walks in and acts like we're gonna go out and get some frozen yogurt or something. Like, what's going on? All right. Drew, what are you doing? Good to see you, Adam. Hey, man, I got your new number. Okay, cool. And then he starts looking around, and next thing you know, we're just walking out and doing the show. Fun, Good times. Finish that at probably about 3:10. I'm supposed to be the early show at Soul Joel's in Potts. Where is it? Pottstown. Pottstown. Pottstown, Pennsylvania. That's at 6:00'. Clock.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

Oh, my gosh.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, my gosh.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

Did you helicopter?

[Adam Carolla]

We are trapped in the middle of the city, in the middle of Fox. And I come walking off stage, it's about, it's about 3, 10.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

And so Mike goes, if we get in the car, Pottstown is about 45 minutes away from Philly.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

Oh my God.

[Adam Carolla]

If we get in the car, we're not going to make it out. We're just going to sit in traffic.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

Five hours to get there?

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

Like for people that are not in the, like that tri state area, five hours easy.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. So who booked this? Oh, no. I mean, this is, this is how we roll. This is how we roll.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

Fly by the seat of your pants, man.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, the early show was six. Probably should have made it 6:30 or seven, but it was six. And then Gutfeld taped at two and then ended at three. And we have three hours technically. But also there's an opener who can stretch 10 minutes or something.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

The opener can start 10 late and.

[Adam Carolla]

Then the opener can start 10 late.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

And then stretch 10.

[Adam Carolla]

Right, right. So we realized that we cannot take a car out of the city because we're just going to sit in gridlock. But what we can do is take the subway out of the city and we'll get out of the city on the subway, on the train, and then we'll land and we'll get our rental car from where we get out off of the train. And Mike had pre got a rental car that was good and figured out the train station was like quarter, you know, two blocks away. So we'd get out, he'd go get the rental car, come around, pick us up. I'm happy to say that my merch bag, my huge merch bag with the busted handle that you fixed. I fixed that bad boy.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

Look at you.

[Adam Carolla]

I fixed it Wednesday night in the garage before getting picked up Thursday morning to go to New York. That bad boy had 50 pounds of booty books in it and one handle. And that thing's getting dragged all over Tarnation or carnation or Earth. And I don't know where it was, but the point is it held. My handle held. So we're waiting. First things first. So we leave Gutfeld and Dr. Drew has a town car, has an SUV for him from Gutfeld because he did the show and they're gonna take him crosstown to his place. So then Mike says, give us a lift to the train station. Grand Central.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

So then, fine, we sit in traffic, it's just tick, tick, tick, tick, tick. The show starts at 6, tick, tick, tick, get dropped off at Grand Central or Penn or Whatever it is, this.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

Is giving me anxiety.

[Adam Carolla]

We go in there and they're like, yeah, wrong train station. This is not the one you were.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

Supposed to go to. Penn.

[Adam Carolla]

You're supposed to meet another one. And like, where is it? Like seven blocks that way. It's like dragging 50 pounds of books through. Everyone's chugging and sweating. We got all our luggage now too. And get to the train, Take the train out, get dropped off. Me and Andrew are there, we got the luggage. Mike's getting the rental car. He's gonna pick us up right where he left us off. And we're like checking ways and it's like you're gonna arrive at like 6:47 or something like that. Mike picks us up, we jump into his car.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

Was there a carpool lane, like fast pass?

[Adam Carolla]

It was traffic and traffic and more traffic. Plus we didn't know we were going like, turn here, turn that. You know, we're getting closer, getting closer. I'm getting on the phone with Rudy, the opener going, listen, start ten late stretch, wait, see for me, I'll come in, blah, blah, blah. Fine, just literally pull up. I just get out. Just walk out on stage. Then there's a late show, Then we're staying with my buddy Nick, who was an hour and a half out of town. Another part of Pennsylvania. By the time I walked through that guy's door, it was midnight. But it started at like 7:30 in the morning in Manhattan.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

You're like, just give me a drink at my.

[Adam Carolla]

Give me a drink. And I just came in and ate some of his lasagna.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

I did ask you, I said, how was New York? And you said, good. And I was like, did you have any Italian food? Because that's like quintessential New York to me. Gotta get the pizza. Well, the food, Italian food.

[Adam Carolla]

The food thing is a funny one. Andrew was with me.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

You didn't try to bring back a ribeye?

[Adam Carolla]

I did, but that was from Florida. I did bring home a ribeye in Florida.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

Oh, I know.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, yeah, that was brought home.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

But that you go to Smith and Wolinski's and try to fly a T bone back.

[Adam Carolla]

I went to Morton's and I flew a ribeye back. I mean, in my bag. Checked it. Yeah. Haven't checked.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

It's your mo.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it's my mo yeah. Because we went from Manhattan to Pennsylvania to Philly, then flew Philly to Florida and then from Florida back to la. So I did Patrick Bet David's show in Florida, which is Fort Lauderdale, which is its own Story that was interesting. Quite. Operation Scott over there.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

It's huge.

[Adam Carolla]

It's huge.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

He just announced something. He and Tony Robbins are doing something together too.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, I gotta tell you, with a guy like that, you sit next to him and you just, you realize the power of a motor, you know, I don't know. You know, he doesn't possess a particular trait that would just make you rich on. On its own, you know, Like I wouldn't call him, he's a gifted comedian or something like that, or an artist or whatever, but his motor, his drive, his drive and his motor. Everyone hates it. I mean, not him. But what I say to everyone is the problem with the motor is it's like, hey, simple, have a motor. And it's like saying, hey, simple, lose weight, diet and exercise. And you're like, I know. I think it might be an easy.

[Show Announcer / Producer]

Way to do it.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

I think it might be easier to lose weight than it is to change out your motor, though. I mean, that's something that. It has to be like innate upbringing, parenting. Right? I think.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know. I have twins, so I can study motor and rudderless. My daughter has a motor. My son doesn't have that motor. And they're just, they grew up in the same place. The motor's hard. I don't think you really teach the motor. The motor's sort of yappy dogs versus sort of nappy dogs, you know, and everyone knows there's dogs that are just like, yep, yep, yep, yep. They're sort of spinning around all the time. They're always jumping up and down. And then there's like, you know, my dog Phil Black Lab. You know, he could be asleep by the front door and someone could ring the doorbell and he wouldn't look up, he doesn't move. And then whoever would come in would have to step over him. You know, he just sprawled out. That's his metronome, you know, I don't know. I can't say that you could teach motor. I would say that you could probably motivate it, guide it. I had a motor when I was probably. I probably always had a motor. But when I was like 19 and living in the garage, I didn't know where to go. I couldn't direct it anywhere. It was just like a motor with no job and no outlet. And I couldn't find a place or a direction for the motor. So motor minus direction. But guys with motors and women with motors will find a direction to point the motor.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

Most entrepreneurs, right?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

It's like, try and Fail, try and fail. Try and fail. And then try and have a massive success. And then you roll that into a whole bunch of other things, too.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, the back to food. That's great. And, Dawson, you'll appreciate this, but it made me think of Mike. So you always have Mike August stories? Cause I'm traveling with him, you know, and sometimes I try to distill down sort of the essence of Mike. Like, what is really the essence and why there's always so much confusion and everybody doesn't know what's going on. And I just stilled it down. I just stilled it down. I came up, by the way, Michael, just do stuff. Like you said, Italian food. Yeah. My friend Nick Santora said, yeah, come to our house. He told Mike, or whatever, I got lasagna or whatever. And so I. So Mike said. Mike goes to me, yeah, Nick made lasagna. And then I do what I always do. Nick made lasagna.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

Oh, no, it's the word thing again.

[Adam Carolla]

Nick made lasagna.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

I've never talked. Nick's never said anything about. Nick's never. I don't know. He's been in a kitchen. He's a writer. He made lasagna. Lasagna. That's amazing. And I'm picturing all the layers and all the work and Nick, you know, spending all special.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

You must feel after.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Show Announcer / Producer]

And I go, I'm seeing my mom in the kitchen.

[Adam Carolla]

Four hour process. Made lasagna. Made lasagna. And I must have brought up like five times, because the whole day, by the way, in this Friday, I'm talking to you about, there is no lunch and there is no dinner. There's just going right on through. And so I'm like, when I get to Nick's house, man, I'm going to get into that lasagna, man. And then at some point, Nick brings out some fair to Midland, but a little old and a little cold lasagna. And he puts it in front of me and I go, oh, so you made this, Nick? And he goes, no, I didn't make it. Why would I fuck. I'm gonna make the lasagna. I bought it like nine hours ago. I go, well, Mike said you made it. And I'm like, mike, you said three times. He goes, I don't know. All right, but stop it then. Stop it. Just stop saying it.

[Show Announcer / Producer]

No consequences. In my opinion.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. I just kept saying, he made lasagna. He made lasagna.

[Show Announcer / Producer]

Now, I do appreciate that. But on the other hand, if he said something like, Nick had a Kid. You wouldn't say Nick had a kid.

[Adam Carolla]

Is that.

[Show Announcer / Producer]

That's exclusively the pasta based dishes. That argument, I think.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, it goes into pizza food.

[Show Announcer / Producer]

Well, I got it. I got a pizza story. Mike August story for you. I never told you. Oh, when we were at Mom Said yes out in Torrance and you were on stage, the waitress came back and said, can I get you guys anything to eat? And Mike August said full heartedly, yeah, let's have a pizza ready. When Adam gets off the stage, get a pepperoni.

[Adam Carolla]

Right, right. This is. Okay, I'm glad you brought that up. Cause it's an inability.

[Show Announcer / Producer]

It's like he listens to the show every day.

[Adam Carolla]

I swear he's listening right now. No, what I'm saying is it's the time I went, God, I can't remember who's. I'll think of it. Whose podcast I did, but they give you a cocktail.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

Oh, I like that kind of podcast.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. And they. Sage steel. Sage steel. But of course, they don't talk to me. They talk to Mike. You know, what's Adam's drink? And so at some point, I'm just sitting there and here comes scotch and soda, just in a tall glass fill of soda. Scotch, soda water. And I go, oh, okay. Huh? Scotch and soda. Like, how'd you arrive on that?

[Show Announcer / Producer]

Isn't that great?

[Adam Carolla]

And they go, well, that's your man said, that's what he said. That's your drink. I go, who said that? Mike. Mike's traveled the country with me for over a decade and seen me just done scotch on the rocks neat or scotch on the rocks every single time. Never ordered scotch soda. Never even came up. Been backstage with me a million times when like, they'd come by and go, you guys want anything? And I go, just. Just do some rye on the rocks or whatever. And they go, okay.

[Show Announcer / Producer]

In fact, yeah, it's never happened.

[Adam Carolla]

It's never happened. He's never heard it. So he. I don't know why.

[Show Announcer / Producer]

So he orders the pepperoni pizza, and it's just me, him, and the waitress back there. And I don't want to. I don't want to get into it with Mike, but as soon as Mike leaves, I grabbed the weight. I said, come here for a minute. Yeah, get us a sausage and onion. And then what's your favorite pizza here? Get us one of those. And don't tell August what I did. And did you? When you were eating the pizza, you said, this is pretty good pizza. And August, all of a sudden, I saw it in his face. He just realized there's no pepperoni. Where's the pepperoni pizza?

[Adam Carolla]

I think. Okay, this is dovetailing perfectly into my next conversation, which is the essence of Mike. Oh. And you said you figured it out, and thus confusion. Well, I've found the nest. I don't know if that means we've killed the aliens or the cockroaches, but I found the nest. But I've distilled it down to why so much confusion, especially when ordering and food and stuff like that. It's always confusion.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

Dates. Remember that one?

[Adam Carolla]

Yes, yes, I remember the dates. What's the day? What's the day? 17th. What day? 17th. What day, day. Give me the day. Okay, all right, I got it. You can't beat this. And this is how it happens. And by the way, this is where it all goes wrong. This is where it all goes south.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

Okay?

[Adam Carolla]

A sales rep from Podcast one said, I will order some New York authentic style pizza for backstage at Rodney's and Drew and Cat Tamf and the whole gang's gonna be there. And she was just being a sweetheart, and she said, I'll order some pizzas and they'll be backstage in between shows. You guys can have some New York pizza. And then I thought, okay, thank you. And then I started thinking about it, and I realized every single time someone orders pizza, it's three cheese, three pepperoni. Cause everyone is stuck in a nine year old's birthday party. That's a come on. And then the bouncy castle.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

That's literally what I ordered this weekend for my kids.

[Adam Carolla]

That's all they do. That's all they do. And I go, that's true. It is true when you have nine.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

Year olds, but it feels safe too.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. When you have nine year olds, you.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

Got a vegetarian option.

[Adam Carolla]

You got a give me a cheese and give me pepperoni. I don't like pepperoni on pizza very much. It's not horrible, but it's overbearing. It's too salty, and they put too much of it on there. But Dawson knows what I like because he's been around me a little bit. Not nearly as much as Mike with the pizza.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

So Dawson just pays more attention than Mike.

[Show Announcer / Producer]

No, I've heard this for 20 years.

[Adam Carolla]

Right, okay.

[Show Announcer / Producer]

August has heard it for at least 30.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. So now in the adult pizza world, I would say, you know what, get a cheese. But then why don't we get a black olive pizza, a mushroom pizza, a pepperoni pizza, Meat lovers. And we'll do meat lovers. Or the sausage and onion you know, but it doesn't always just have to be pepperoni or nothing. A little more finesse, nuance. Like, I love black olives on a. Or garlic even. Okay, whatever. But it never is. So we're driving to the club, and I say to Mike, I go, that pizza, it's gonna be three pepperonis and three cheese, and I want sausage and onion.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

All right. So I go, mike, send her a text and just say, could you swap out one of the pepperonis for sausage and onion?

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

You're gonna love this stuff.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

It's Adam's favorite.

[Adam Carolla]

It's perfect. So he's texting, he goes, sausage. And then I do my spiel. What's with all the pepperoni? It's always pepperoni. A choice between pepperoni, more pepperoni, and lots of pepperoni. Sausage and onion. Sausage and onion. It's so much better. Or at least it's more interesting. We're all adults, okay?

[Show Announcer / Producer]

I have a huge level of anxiety right now. I'm so afraid of what you're going to say.

[Adam Carolla]

So he goes. So I go, just. I don't know why. No one will ever do it. It's not even a meat thing because you got three pepperonis. Just have a sausage and onion. And by the way, I've done my experiment. Every time I order a sausage onion, it's always devoured. It's not like people go, oh, yuck, and they hold their nose, okay? So I go, just order sausage and onion. And by the way, he's heard me yell about it 7,000 times. So then he's texting her, and he goes, okay, yeah, I got the order in sausage, onion. Anything else? I go, no, just a sausage and onion. Nothing else.

[Show Announcer / Producer]

Oh, boy.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay, now we're getting into trouble. Now we're drifting the spidey. We're drifting into confusion zone. Now we've. Now what we've done.

[Show Announcer / Producer]

This is almost on you.

[Adam Carolla]

Now we've opened the window for confusion is not wide open, but we just cracked it.

[Show Announcer / Producer]

There's a hole in the screen.

[Adam Carolla]

There's a hole in the screen. And we've cracked the slider a little bit. Little bit, Little bit. So I'm kind of looking. I'm sort of curious. I go, no, just sausage. You mean like sausage, onion, and mushroom or something?

[Andrew Klavan]

Or.

[Adam Carolla]

And he goes, just a sausage and onion. I go, yeah, Mike, a sausage and onion pizza. I'm just ordering a sausage and onion pizza like I always order, right? There's nothing else. I go, no, okay.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

Literally nothing in it.

[Adam Carolla]

Got it in So I got. I got. So. So. So then. So now I'm dreaming about this pizza. I haven't eaten all day, and I'm thinking about my sausage and onion. It's gonna be. It's gonna be the red onion, the purple onion, or the yellow onion.

[Andrew Klavan]

I don't know.

[Adam Carolla]

They mix it up. I'm thinking about thinking about that. And she comes in, in between shows. She's got all the pizzas piled up.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

Smell that delicious dough.

[Adam Carolla]

And she says to me, she goes, the sausage and onion. I go, yeah, you got one? Yeah, I did. I hope it's okay. Uh.

[Show Announcer / Producer]

Oh.

[Adam Carolla]

I go, why wouldn't it be okay? Well, there's cheese on it. I go, oh, good. Right? Right. And sauce. And I know maybe you didn't want it that way. I didn't know what to tell the guy, so I just said, do it this way. You could pick off the cheese. I go, why would I. No, I just want a sausage and onion pizza. Oh. Because Mike sent me a text that said sausage and onion only he added the word. For some reason, the sausage and onion was not going to do it. Now he opened the door to confusion because he put the word only when no one. If you just go pepperoni, you wouldn't go only. You would just go pepperoni pizza or mushroom. Whatever you're ordering. You don't need the word only only.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

Because I thought that the only that he was gonna add meant that she only got six sausage and onion pizzas and threw out the cheese in the bread.

[Adam Carolla]

That would have been awesome for me, the whole point is a word was added that blew the door open for confusion Now. And she looked at it, and she probably thought, is he allergic to cheese? Like, is he Just because it says sausage and onion only. So is there. Are we gonna put sauce on it? Are we gonna put cheese? She thought, no cheese.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

She was so stressed about that, she.

[Adam Carolla]

Ended up just saying, just put a sausage and onion pizza. But the point is, only screwed her up badly. And I realized it was when Mike turned to me and went, only. Just. Only. And I was like, sausage and onion, Mike. That's all. And I didn't know enough to stop in the moment and go, do not write the word only on there. Just write, I just. I'm ordering a sausage onion.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

Preview his text messages before he sends them.

[Adam Carolla]

And then I realized when everyone around here gets confused all the time with Mike, it's only because the word only gets added to things. It's a version of the word only. Didn't need to be There, nobody knew what you meant, and you open the door for confusion.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

That's funny.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

I feel. I still feel bad for that poor lady at Podcast one because having been like, the support role for people.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

It's so stressful. Do you want to do your job well and you want to, like, because. Because you're. You're having fun and you love what you do, but it's a lot of work, too. And like you said, you have all these days that you're not eating, and so then as the staffer, you're like, they need to eat. And then if I were to be like, oh, my God, Adam only wants this, and I didn't deliver that for him, and he's gonna go on stage starving after a 12 hour workday. Yeah, like, she was probably spiraling.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, you have to. From her standpoint, you're like, he swapped out a pepperoni for a sausage and onion, which is totally doable and understandable, but he added the word only. And now I have to stop and I have to process this. And now it has to be a coin toss for her. Her was like, why did that guy write only at the end of this? And then am I going to get. The guy bakes it not to put cheese on it. And I think the good news was there was probably a little language barrier and she couldn't even get it. She probably just went, just make the pizza. And I don't think she could really get it across. But yes, the word only. If I saw the word only, I would be very confused.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

I feel like what we've learned is that you're traveling and the stories that come of it could be its own sitcom.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, yeah.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

Like I'm imagining actually her not with a language barrier, but like an old Italian man that's like fourth generation New Yorker being like, what do you mean, no cheese?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

What kind of idiot wants no cheese? Is he from California? Like, you know.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Later on, when we got to Nick Santoris House, we had an epic argument about John Jr. John. John Kennedy being buried at sea versus ashes scattered at sea. Of course, Mike knew he was buried at sea, Dawson. I kept saying, he's not buried at sea. He scattered his ashes. He's, like, buried at sea. Like, just dug in. I'm like, why buried at sea? They got his body out of the ocean, and I put him right back in as fast as they could. I said, mike, you need a decree from the president to be buried at sea or you need to be in the Naval Academy. He goes, buried at Sea. Thank God for phones. Ten minutes later, it's like cremated ash is scattered over Chesapeake Bay. Okay, whatever I said 10 minutes ago, that's. I don't know, by the way, I have no idea how many people are so sure about stuff they know nothing about. But that's, that's the most interesting part of life for me.

[Show Announcer / Producer]

You could do a brand new standup special called Let Me Tell youl About Mike August.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, when we were traveling and arguing in the car with Nick, Nick just went, this is your show. Just in the car arguing over stupid stuff over and over and over again.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

And I think the connection is everybody has a Mike August in their life.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, and listen, Mike's a mule, man. He is a work mule.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

That's why you love him so much.

[Adam Carolla]

He's Powers Ed. Oh, no, I love Mike. Mike's the best guy to travel with. He goes hard. All right. One other thing I wanted to get into, I love, and I never even really thought about it, but I love the phrase as you were.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

Oh, like the military phrase all the time.

[Adam Carolla]

I dislike it because if you break it down, it's kind of interesting. It's like the general walks in, everyone was sitting around playing grab ass. All of a sudden they pop up, and then it' some point he goes, as you were. As you were before I got here. As you were.

[Show Announcer / Producer]

Return to zero.

[Adam Carolla]

I love. I just like it's a good, clean. I, it's going the way the dodo. And even the dodo is going the way the dodo, but as you weres, is, is drifting out of the vernacular. And I, I, I like it.

[Show Announcer / Producer]

I think it's a very selfless way to interact.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. As you're not ask.

[Show Announcer / Producer]

I'm not asking you for anymore.

[Andrew Klavan]

As you were.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right. I like, I like as you were.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

Peace out.

[Adam Carolla]

I love as you were.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

I feel like it's hard, though. How many interactions every day like you probably cause you run a company and you're a boss, but how many, like, how many times every day does the average person get the opportunity to say as you were in an applicable way?

[Adam Carolla]

You could say it possibly to your kids, but not like they would pay attention to you when you walked in in the first place.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

Oh, mine. Do they know they have to pause.

[Adam Carolla]

The TV if they do? Oh, they do.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

So, like, as you were for them would be like, oh, now we get to turn the TV back on.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, well, as long as my kids never stop doing anything just because I came into the room. But if you have kids you've raised, they didn't whoop them enough to stop doing things. Yes. Before then. Good. So you walk into the room, pause and then you tell them whatever you got to tell them. And then it's I got three pepperoni and three cheese for the party this weekend.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

And then my four year old says, I want a sausage and onion.

[Adam Carolla]

What a winner. And then you go as you were. And they unpause the TV.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

There we go.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. Homes.com. some might say homes.com is the best home shopping site. Maybe that homes.com. well, they're super comprehensive and transparent agent directory. That's what a lot of people say. Or Maybe it's that homes.com is the only site that always directly connects you with the listing agent who knows the home the best. Perhaps it's because homes.com has the most in depth neighborhood content of any home shopping site that's extensively researched. To highlight the personality of each neighborhood. Homes.com goes above and beyond to bring home shoppers the in depth info that they need to find the right home right away. I always peruse their site because I'm a fan. Homes.com. that's homes.com. we've done your homework.

[Commercial Voice]

This October, fear is free on Pluto tv with horror movie collections from Paranormal Activity, the Ring.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

You will die in seven days.

[Commercial Voice]

Scream. And from dusk till Dawn.

[Adam Carolla]

This. This is my kind of place.

[Commercial Voice]

And don't miss the man made nightmares in Mary Shelley's Frankenstein. Or the world ending chaos in 28 days later, something in the blood, all the scares, all for free. Pluto TV Stream now pay. Never.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, the other thing I wanted to bring up was this. I saw this Portland nude dying thing.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

Oh, how did you know what stories I had?

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, you got that.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

Well, good.

[Adam Carolla]

You know what? Let's do it then. Let's just do your news. I love this stuff. I'm fascinated watching adults come undone like guys. When I see women in their 70s screaming like coming undone. I'm fascinated by adult.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

Did they do the die in too? I think that was part of this.

[Adam Carolla]

When I was a kid, my dad's or my mom's or my buddy's friends. Mr. Vendig. I didn't even know that guy's first name, much less him getting naked and laying down on the street in Portland. Mr. Vendig. Like he would come home, get out of his jacket and get into his cardigan and sit down. Mr. Rogers light his pipe, take off his loafers. Adults were adults, man. I'm sorry. Go ahead.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

All right. So according to the ap, naked bike riders demonstrated against federal troops in the quintessentially Portland protest.

[Adam Carolla]

Huh.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

Look at this. So the protesters are rallying against the Trump administration in Portland. And they put the city's quirky and irreverent reputation on display Sunday by pedaling through the streets wearing absolutely nothing or close to it in a lot of cases.

[Show Announcer / Producer]

They're not pedaling right now.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

They're not pedaling.

[Adam Carolla]

Pedaling down.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

They were doing a die in.

[Adam Carolla]

They're doing a diet.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

Dear God. I'm seeing things I don't want to see up on the screen right now.

[Show Announcer / Producer]

They were pedaling. It's cool. Pedal your ass out of here.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

Okay. There was a 51 year old. A writer named Janine King called the nude ride a quintessentially Portland way to protest and that it was absolutely necessary. We definitely do not want troops coming into our city.

[Show Announcer / Producer]

That'll do it.

[Adam Carolla]

And who wants to. Who wants to use that highway that has to deal with you ass wipes.

[Show Announcer / Producer]

Literally lots of skid marks.

[Adam Carolla]

Guys have like gravel on their ass. And remind me, there was pretty good Queen album cover with a bunch of naked ladies riding bicycles. Remember that one Dawson bicycle race? I think that's it. Yeah.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

Oh, they call it joyful. They said that to be nude is to be joyful and that joy is a form of protest. Being together with mutual respect and kindness is a form of protest. It's your choice how much or how little you want to wear.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't get. I really don't get the. I keep repeating myself, but I just don't get the protest that does nothing, goes nowhere. I mean, we had.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

That traumatizes the viewer.

[Adam Carolla]

We got the no Kings trailer. I don't know if that's part of your storyline.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

No.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay. I like to hear a fellow named Joe talk about the no Kings thing because I really mean it. I talk to people who went to the Million Woman March here in 2018 or something. Yes. And I said, what are you doing? And they're like, we don't know. And I'm like, well, what are you hoping to accomplish? We're just together. And I'm like, I need a little more of a theme if I'm going to push back. A general vagary of no Kings is not enough. But we'll hear what he has to say. Sorry. Something amazing and unprecedented is going to happen in this country, the United States of America, this upcoming Saturday, October 18th. This upcoming Saturday, October 18th, will be the largest peace time protest in American history. Think about that for a minute. Okay. This upcoming.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

So many filler words.

[Adam Carolla]

I know. Because October 18th, millions and millions and millions and millions and millions and millions of Americans will organically take to the streets in some 4,000. All right, pause for a second. I am so. I am literally obsessed with self important people. I have an obsession. I have an obsession with self important people. I realize, and I don't know why, I'm fascinated by really self important people. Also people that talk and say nothing. I'm very. That's.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

He's wasted so much time to fill 90 seconds of like millions. And the pause. By the way, he totally read a cue card because he forgot peacekeepers or peacemakers on a.

[Andrew Klavan]

Read it.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, so we'll hear him out.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

Does he say millions again?

[Adam Carolla]

I hope so. In some 4,000 neighborhoods, towns and cities around America to just reaffirm that basic American principle that this country was founded upon. No kings. Not here, not in America. What happened to the whole taco thing? These guys get on to stuff and off to stuff off stuff so fast. You know what I mean?

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

The whole taco thing, the diction to make it sound passionate.

[Adam Carolla]

All right. And they want what? Like, what do they want? What's going on? I don't get what.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

They're really organic. If you're spending money to market it.

[Show Announcer / Producer]

And asking people to come in his favor. As retarded as he is, at least he didn't say full period stop or full stop period.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I like when people say full stop. Yeah, Yeah.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

I blame social media for that. I feel like that started in the Twitter era.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, yeah, George Conway has a good one, too. Oh, this is good. This is. What's her name? Susman. Yeah, authoritarianism.

[Andrew Klavan]

It's a cancer.

[Adam Carolla]

The symptoms are here today. Masked agents grabbing people off the streets. The government threatening and prosecuting political opponents. Attacks on free speech, soldiers in our cities. We thought it couldn't happen here. Other places, sure. Italy in the 20s, where fascism was born. Chile, Russia, Venezuela, Hungary. And now the disease is growing, the cancer metastasizing in America. Hold on. Stop there. I love that chicken dumped on her keister, by the way. That was from some bitch fighting.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

That image is so gross.

[Adam Carolla]

Some bitch was like fighting with ice officers like three days ago outside of Portland. They just pushed her away. So I don't know if that's cancer. Authoritarianism. I don't know how Stalin or Mussolini would have treated you in that situation, but we're just taking some dumb chick who was in the way of federal agents and Pushing her out of the way from three days earlier. But anyway, but here's the whole thing. If you got cancer, what do you do with cancer? You cut it out. You have to kill the cancer. You have to radiate the cancer. You kill the cancer.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

Surgically removed chemo.

[Adam Carolla]

So if there's a cancer and that cancer's name is Trump, then it would make sense to try to cut him out.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

Yeah, but. No, no, no. Words aren't violence anymore.

[Adam Carolla]

No, I know.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

Only if it's from the right, not the left, ever.

[Adam Carolla]

So this Astart is doing what we can. Keep playing. Wait, who's this in America? Oh, what's killing Anne Conway? But there's a cure. It requires you. On October 8th, at the nationwide no Kings protests, Americans will stand up peacefully for what makes America America. Scan the QR code to find your local no Kings abandoned. Show them you're not afraid. Do it for the country, for the Constitution, for your family, for yourself. Do it for your freedom while you still can. Before what?

[Safety Video Narrator]

I thought they got a divorce.

[Adam Carolla]

I think they did. Before the jackboot and thug show up at your doorstep and demand your children.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

If I was somebody that marched in the civil rights era, I'd be real pissed off at the comparison between then and now.

[Adam Carolla]

If you were someone who survived a camp in Nazi Poland back then, you should be super insulted that they're calling everyone Hickory.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

Even the internment camps that we had, like, friends of mine whose families were interned here in the United States. Very different time than now, guys.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Sorry, Dawson. You were going to say. Yeah. It's funny, though.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

That made more sense than what he had to say.

[Adam Carolla]

What is. Why am I so amused with it? And then why do I feel zero? I cannot tell you how many times people told me to be scared of something. And I go, yeah, I don't care. And they go, you got to be scared. And I go, I'm not interested in being scared, by the way. I don't think that's a good way to go through life.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

You don't have, like, a fear factor. No pun intended.

[Adam Carolla]

No, no, I don't. I don't. I don't have that gene. I woke up this morning hearing two big sheets of glass in my home getting blown around by the wind and the rain, and.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

Well, at least it was raining. Otherwise, I think that would have, like, infiltrated, like, some PTSD from the fires.

[Adam Carolla]

It was a major issue with two big sheets of glass that were, like, flexing and smacking each other. I thought was gonna break. And it Was kind of crazy, but I was like, I gotta fix it. Cause I'm not leaving because it's leaking and it's gonna shatter. Cause it's flexing. It was two big panes of glass that come together in a 90 and they were seamed with silicone. And the silicone had gone bad. And they're blowing out and now not held together and thus flexing and making all kinds of scary noises. And I was like, this thing's gonna break.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

And by the way, if it does break, it's bigger than a sheet of plywood. And the wind's blowing and water's just gonna blow in. And I. There's no putting plastic up. Like, it's a. It's gonna be a $10,000 move.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

So that scared you or just in, like, in. You're like, oh, no. Must fix. And you're not afraid of fixing it.

[Adam Carolla]

My girlfriend said, what are you doing? Like, I was like, inside on a ladder and these two sheets of glass that were like smacking back and forth and making noises and. Yeah, they could have blown out or it was above, you know, like second story type stuff. You know, there's an element of heritude. You know, it was a little hairy in there, but I figured out I was on a roll, man. Cause I just fixed the handle of the merch bag last time I was there.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

I can fix some handle.

[Adam Carolla]

And I just looked at it and I was like, I know exactly what I need to fix this. At least temporarily, which is clear. 100% silicone in a caulking gun. And that clear packing tape. That stuff that just can do anything. And these two sheets were like, slapping around and bowing. And the wind was gushing and rain was hitting it. It was. And so I just put a long strip of tape down it just to lock it off so it wasn't smack. And went and got the silicone gun, blah, blah, blah. Just shot a bead nine foot long all the way up and down the thing. Put two more pieces of tape over the bead, like to lock it off and dry it. Whatever fixed it. Yeah, it was a little. Was a little element of the. What people could be scared about.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

I think that that's what this, like, no Kings BS is all about. Is it? They think because of the rhetoric from the left, oh, my God, Trump is a horrible fascist dictator. Look at all these things he's done. Look at the free press he shut down. Look at the rights he's taken from women, yada, yada. And so then they think of The. Well, if we don't go out and protest, what will happen next? And I think that people are more afraid of not what they're currently in, but. But the A through Z, like, rabbit trail of what could happen.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know. I mean, like, I do remember being really knocked off balance when I went and talked to my dad when my dad was like, 85 or something. And my dad's not a political guy. He's not a guy that brings up subjects and just kind of lives in his own quiet world, you know? And at some point, he started freaking out about kids in cages. This is like 8 years ago or something. He said, trump, he's putting these kids. He's locking these kids up. Whenever I hear hyperbole, I stop listening. They're tearing them out of their mom's arms and throwing them in cages. My dad started spinning out. I was like, oh, old man, they got you, didn't they? They made you go nuts at the end of your life.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

But that's not fair because I think that sometimes old people are more prone to be afraid of things.

[Adam Carolla]

I get it. He wasn't scared of being thrown in a cage.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

Yeah, no.

[Adam Carolla]

As long as you could bring his flugelhorn with him, he'd be okay. But I just mean, I'm like. I don't know. What I learned is people's minds are pretty corruptible and they can do it at a pretty fast pace. And my dad, who never brought up anything and didn't weigh into these things, got corrupted pretty fast. And I thought that was interesting. There's a great clip I heard of Trump today, which is very. I mean, we just heard. Dawson, you heard quintessential Mike August with sausage and onion, only now throwing us all into a world of confusion. I like when I get quintessential Trump. Like, I love when he said, why do you keep saying the virus came from China? Because it comes from China.

[Show Announcer / Producer]

China.

[Adam Carolla]

I love that. This is very Trump. Like, just listen to how, by the way, and you tell me what he got wrong about this. Go ahead. You talk about the Argentina important in the Latin American. What is your plan for Venezuela? But is the you the terrorism, the narco terrorism in the President Maduro, what is your plan? Plan?

[Donald Trump (clip)]

Well, Venezuela has done a couple of things very badly. Number one, we get drugs and all of that, but we get something in a way worse, because they're a big purveyor of drugs. But we have worse. What they do very well is they send their criminals into the United States and they Send trend that you know very well. You're from Venezuela, I assume. And they send them in by the thousands, literally. And these are the worst of all. And they empty the. Their prisons into the United States. They empty their mental institutions.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, pause it here. Now, here's where it goes into Super Trump. This is just middle of the road, Trump, the trend. This is where we get into Trump. And I always picture Joe Biden sitting at home listening, if that's possible, to any of this, but here we go.

[Donald Trump (clip)]

And because we had a president who's low iq, he didn't realize what was going on. And the people that are high iq, you that surround him, but they happen to be lunatics. Radical left. They're highly intelligent radical left lunatics. Okay? So in a way, that's worse than having a guy like Biden. But they ran the show. You heard about the auto pen.

[Adam Carolla]

The person, he goes on for 10, but he's basically just going, joe Biden's out of his mind, so he's an idiot. But then there are other people that are smart, but they're radicals, they're nuts, and they're wrong. And then they ran the show, and it's like, yeah, that's what happened, everybody. That's what we just experienced for four years. I know you're interested in stopping kings. I'm more fascinated in this and stopping what that was, because that's a wide open border. Also, listen, if somebody said to me, adam, I'm gonna be the king of California, and I was like, okay, what's your platform, King? Well, we're gonna close the border. Oh, okay. Clean up graffiti. All right. Get this homeless problem situated. Yeah.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

Stop the illegal flow of drugs.

[Adam Carolla]

Stop the illegal flow of drugs and pull the plug on the bullet train, which is going nowhere. But I'm gonna clean up San Francisco and la. I'd go, king away, king away. Go knock your fucking kingly crown off. Trying to do all the shit I'm happy you're doing now.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

I love that these are also the same people that love Prince Harry and Meghan Markle and probably want him to be king.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

You know, it's. It's like, wait a second. I thought we were anti that. Like the Royal Family. You're anti kings and fascists, but you support them in Cuba and China, and.

[Adam Carolla]

They'Re a little inconsistent is what is what I would say. I want to hear the last 45 seconds of that one more time when he's just casually talking about not knowing what's going on. I'm just picturing Biden sitting around if he, you know, his ice cream probably fell in his lap.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

Ignoring Kamala's calls. Did you see that story?

[Adam Carolla]

No.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

She said that he hasn't, like, called her back Biden.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, well, Jill hasn't called her back, but yeah, go ahead.

[Donald Trump (clip)]

Trend, you know very well. You're from Venezuela, I assume. And they send them in by the thousands, literally. And these are the worst of all. And they emptied their prisons into the United States states. They empty their mental institutions into the United States. And because we had a president who is low iq, he didn't realize what was going on. And the people that are high IQ that surround him, but they happen to be lunatics. Radical left. They're highly intelligent radical left lunatics. Okay, so in a way, that's worse than having a guy like Biden. But they ran the show.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, that's it. Well, there you go, Urbana. Hey, you want to know what the last four years were? There you go. There's a 40 second sound bite that'll teach you everything. History teachers, throw away those books. There's 40 seconds there of what the last administration was if AI doesn't delete it. And I know you guys are scared about kings, but I would be scared of a wide open border and fentanyl. All right, my dear Alicia Krause, where do people go? The weekly op ed at the Washington Examiner. Andrew Clavin, the wise one. The author, so good, and the commentator. He's going to be up and we'll talk to Andrew Clavin right after this select quote. All right, time for some life talk. Life insurance talk, that is. You probably already have some kind of policy, but do you know how much you're paying or what you're really covered for? Odds are you're paying too much for too little. And here's the scary part. If your policy is only through work and you get laid off, congratulations, you might suddenly have zero coverage. That's a bad surprise to leave behind. Now, buying life insurance, it's kind of like a parachute. If you don't have it when you really need it, there is no second chance. That's why I'm using Select Quote. They make it simple. Select Quote has been doing this for over 40 years. They've helped more than 2 million Americans secure over 700 billion in coverage. It's Selectquote right, Dawson, get the right.

[Show Announcer / Producer]

Life insurance for you for less and save more than [e-mail] Carolla save more than 50% on term life insurance. @SelectQuote.com Carolla today to get started. That's SelectQuote.com Carolla SimpliSafe well, you ever.

[Adam Carolla]

Wonder about your security system? Like, how secure is it really? I just saw a video. An arsonist trying to torch a family's house. Simplisafe. Well, it stops the guy cold right then before the flames start. And that's where Simplisafe comes in. You can hear the monitoring agent on the phone with dispatch. A total pro, not sleeping on the job. Most systems, they wait till something's already busted out or someone's standing inside your entry hall or your house is on fire. Too late by then. And that's why Simplisafe is different. They're AI powered. Cameras catch threats before they cross the line. Real agents confront the intruder, yelling over speakers, sounding sirens, making it clear they're being watched and police are on the way. That's security before the crime, not after. I trust Simplisafe to protect my home, my family, everything that matters. It's Simplisafe, right, Dawson?

[Show Announcer / Producer]

You can get 50% off your new SimpliSafe system with professional monitoring and your first month [e-mail] Adam just head to simplisafe.com Adam to claim your discount and make sure your home is safe this year. Keep your home, your family and your peace of mind protected with simply safe. There's no safe like Simplisafe. Here's a beat from Beat it out with Jay Moore and Adam Carolla. Did I tell you about when my.

[Adam Carolla]

Youngest son asked me if my oldest son was Jewish? Really? He goes, hey, dad, is.

[Show Announcer / Producer]

Is Jackson Jewish?

[Adam Carolla]

I go, what, your brother? Mm. He goes, yeah. I go, how could he be Jewish if you and me aren't Jewish? He goes, I don't know how this stuff works. And he goes in his room and slams the door.

[Show Announcer / Producer]

And I'm standing alone in my kitchen like, Jesus Christ, baby.

[Adam Carolla]

Jackson is Jewish. That was an overreaction. Yeah, they're very theatrical people.

[Show Announcer / Producer]

Beat it out with Adam Carolla and Jay Moore. Subscribe to the [e-mail] substack let's get back to the Adam Carolla show.

[Adam Carolla]

Andrew Clavin, who used to be Jewish, so he knows, is on with us. Author, political commentators, Daily Wire guy got a of bunch book out after that. The Dark. It is available for Pre sale on DailyWire.com KLavin Fifth installment of the acclaimed Cameron Winter series. And the Andrew Clavin show is the name of the podcast. Good to See you again, Andrew.

[Andrew Klavan]

It's good to see you, Adam. It's been a while.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. I love hearing your voice on the Daily Wire and I love it when all you guys get together and do your roundtables on political issues and stuff like that as well. I don't know, maybe people don't know your life, your former life in Hollywood, writing full length features and books and stuff like that, but what was your sort of Hollywood journey?

[Andrew Klavan]

The Hollywood journey was just the kind of outgrowth of the book writing. All I ever wanted to do was write novels and I would write these novels and they did really well. And then somebody called me up and said, well, you should. I'd like to hire you to write a screenplay. And I was like, I don't want to do that. I don't want to be in Hollywood. And she insisted, kind of, she went, she said, is there anything you would write? And I said, yeah, you know, there's this book called Shock to the System by Simon Bretton. So she, she went out and optioned it, so I felt obligated. And they made it with, I mean, it came out of my printer, which at that point was one of those old fashioned spray printers, and they made it into a film with Michael Caine. And after that I just kept working. And finally I went out to California for a while because I figured my books were being made into movies. And I thought, well, this will be interesting. And I have to tell you something. You know, all the, anything they tell you about Hollywood not being a blacklist place and not being cut off to conservatives is crap because they don't have a blacklist during, like, during the McCarthy days where they send around an actual list with your name on it. But people say, oh, you want to pitch an idea? Well, I'm heading over to the Hillary Clinton fundraiser, so why don't you get in my car and we'll do that. Or you walk into a meeting and they say to you, you know, like, whatever, Trump is an idiot. Isn't Trump evil? That'll be the meeting. You know, you'll be trying to sell a script or something. And any idea you have that veers from left wing ideas, they shoot down. So even if you have a woman in your script who's kind of womanly, kind of feminine and sweet. Yeah, that's no good. Why don't we do something really different, like have a woman who can beat guys up and go, like, that's every movie. Yeah, it's really different. We'll, we'll do that. We want Something that's really different, that's exactly the same as everything else. So eventually, you know, you cannot work and be a conservative in Hollywood. And it was kind of strange. I mean, my income disappeared. I mean, my income was high. And it vanished overnight when I started saying things like, well, maybe it's a good thing to, you know, invade Iraq. Maybe that would be a positive, a positive thing. And maybe we shouldn't make movies, you know, showing our soldiers as bad guys while they're being shot at by savages in a foreign land. And that was enough that just my phone stopped ringing. I mean, my phone was ringing pretty constantly. I was selling sometimes one or two scripts a year, which is a really good living. And my phone just stopped ringing. And so it was kind of. It was kind of interesting. Like, I never wanted to be in Hollywood. There are people in Hollywood, as you know, who would sell their grandmothers for a chance to work in the movie business. And so if you're in that situation and you want it desperately and it's all you've ever wanted your whole life, you know, I guess you just do what they tell you to do and that you stay quiet. People like you and me who go off on their own and say, you know what? I can do this without you, are vanishingly rare. And our friends on the right, or whatever you want to call it, the libertarian right, they don't understand what somebody like you has done. They don't understand it like, you know, you look at the late night shows where you used to be. I mean, you used to work with Jimmy Kimmel. Every single guy with a corporate spot has the same political opinion as everybody else. And they give each other rewards for, you know, standing up for free speech by making sure that everybody has, you know, conformed to that opinion. So I found it really kind of, you know, I don't want to say oppressive because you're making a great living, you're in California, the sun is shining and all this stuff. So it's not oppressive, but I just found it like, not doing what I was born to do, which is write books with a vision in them, you know, not. I'm not a particularly political writer, but I don't want to lie. And if you don't want to lie, you can't write leftist books. So, you know, it was a really strange kind of, looking back on, it was kind of a surreal experience, you know.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it happens kind of slowly, so you don't fully feel it because there's not a sort of one day toggle Switch, it's kind of a dimmer switch, you know, and the toggle you notice. Cause you go from the black to the bright, you know, or in this case, from the bright to the black. But what if someone just kept dimming the dimmer switch, you know, 16th of an inch every month, you know what I mean? And eventually you walk into the room and you realize you can't see your hand in front of your face. Like, what happened? What happened? Well, that's how they do it. There's a social side of it where you don't get the invites to the parties and you get sort of pushed out a little socially. And then there's the professional side. And Hollywood doesn't work like trades work. If you're skilled carpenter, plumber, electrician, you just work because they need you and you have a trade. The Hollywood is, you know, it's funny and I don't know, Andrew could look this up. But, you know, people amuse themselves by saying, you know, Indiana Jones was originally supposed to be Tom Selleck, you know, or whatever it is. There's millions of those originally. But he couldn't make it. So they got Harrison Ford, you know, so that's all Hollywood is. You were here, now you're out. Now he's in and he's younger. And that guy feeling, yeah, yeah, you're just in and you're out. And the people that are in Hollywood understand it. And it's not like you're Jon Jones of the ufc. You say whatever the fuck you want, because you can beat anybody and you're gonna make millions and there's gonna be a fight and they're gonna throw money at you. That's if you're Jon Jones of the UFC and if you're a kick ass carpenter, you'll work. You'll work. It doesn't really matter. But actors, writers, all this stuff, directors, it's so interchangeable. Frank Sinatra is supposed to be starring Die Hard. Yeah, there you go. You could swap anybody out with anybody. And then as soon as you fall off the grid, 10 seconds goes by, people can't even remember who you were. Like, you're gone.

[Andrew Klavan]

And it's sinister because like every now and again, a producer would come to town. And what happens when a producer comes to town? New producer, new executive, whatever is, he gets a stack of scripts because everything starts with a script. So he gets a hundred scripts and he reads through the hundred scripts. And every single time the guy would say to me, I called out of that hundred scripts. I called three people. You were one of them. Because all the other scripts stank, and yours was really good. And I would say, great. We'd sit down and have a meeting. And he'd call my agent. I love this guy. This guy. Oh, my God, he's terrific. We're going to work together. And then I'd never hear from him again. And I would say to my agent, who was a conservative, you know, my agent was an actual political conservative who had somehow made it in the business. I would say, look, buddy, I'm being blacklisted. And he would say, no, they don't. All they care about is money. I would say, I don't think so. I don't think that's the way it works. Because as you say, it's like that movie Barton Fink, where he says, I love that Barton Fink feeling. And then he says, hey, I can get that Barton Fink feeling from anybody.

[Adam Carolla]

Right?

[Andrew Klavan]

It's kind of like that. So they love that Andrew Clavin feeling. They get it from anybody.

[Adam Carolla]

The studio wanted O.J. simpson to play the Terminator. So if. If O.J.

[Andrew Klavan]

He was busy.

[Adam Carolla]

If O.J. yeah, if O.J. simpson. But he'll be back. If O.J. simpson and Arnold Schwarzenegger can be interchangeable, than anybody can be interchangeable, because we all land somewhere between O.J. simpson and Arnold Schwarzenegger.

[Andrew Klavan]

Yes, that's exactly it. And, you know, you talk about Sinatra being in Die Hard. He played that character in a film called the Detective, which was written by the same author.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, really?

[Andrew Klavan]

It was really a Die Hard was really a sequel to Frank Sinatra film.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. So now then, what happens in Hollywood is everybody is sort of always running for elections here because it's a popularity contest, and you want to be at the parties and you wanna be on the right side of everything. And so then something like Covid comes down the pike, and everyone lines up and knows exactly what to say about COVID Because the second you start saying the wrong thing about COVID then you get pulled off the list. And since no one needs you on the list, then you're off the list. And by the way, once you get off the list, it's very difficult to get back on to the list if impossible. And that's why they all end up on the same side of every single subject, which is mathematically unthinkable. I mean, you couldn't do it mathematically. I would say to people all the time, if you take something that doesn't have politics woven into it, you take the biggest event every year, the super Bowl. And if you go around to Hollywood and you talk to people about who do you think? What do you think, Philly or you think kc? They will be split right down the middle. There will be no 99 think KC and 1% Philly, and we don't talk to that guy. It's just if it's something, if they're being honest and it's an actual subject that doesn't carry any weight to it at all politically, meaning you're not gonna get into trouble, you'll split it right down the middle with every celebrity. Then Covid comes along, and Covid should have been split, should have been half wanted schools open, half wanted schools shut, half wanted Ivermectin, hydroxychloroquine. The others didn't like. There's plenty of room for disagreement on all the subjects that revolved around Covid. Yet magically, they all ended up with the Kansas City Chiefs. So you think that's a coincidence? Like, that's statistically impossible.

[Andrew Klavan]

It can't happen.

[Adam Carolla]

It can't happen. But it did. But it's because they're cowards and they have to end up with the group, otherwise they'll get thrown out of the group.

[Andrew Klavan]

And there's this kind of attrition because you look back at a show like Law and Order, if you go back and look at the first maybe eight seasons of Law and Order, it's a conservative show in the sense that it supports the DA's fighting these guys. If they have an abortion at the wrong time, they put them in prison. That's murder. Put that guy in prison, had absolutely no political correctness. Slowly, slowly, as writers leave the writers room and new writers come in, the new writers who come in replace the old ones and the guys who had the vision for the show are gone. And your run of the mill, you know, standard issue, left wing guys going in there. Now, if you watch Law and Order every week, it is a lecture on political correctness. I once asked somebody, because these are Dick Wolf shows. Dick Wolf, famously a Republican out there, but at some point, you know, God love him, he becomes a billionaire and he's not paying attention anymore. He's counting his money and he's not paying attention anymore. And there's nobody to say, you know, let's keep the vision of this show in place because they're actually saying the opposite. Let's make this stop before some, you know, it runs away with us.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it's interesting. As the older guard sloughs off, the newer ones come in with Fresh out of college, with lots of ideas and how to express themselves. I'm also drilling down on a kind of feminization of society. And women, I think, in general are less likely to live and let live in the sense that they don't physically kill as many people as we do. That's kind of our jurisdiction. But women, I know when they hate another woman, they want her destroyed. They don't want her to flourish in any way. They hold, like, long running. And a lot of it is not because the person punched them or stole their man, but disrespected them or did something, borrowed a sweater, never returned it or whatever it is. There's lots of petty grievance stuff. And as a male, my take is I don't really care what that guy's politics are because that's not what we're doing here. He's a good dude. He can do the work. Let him do the work. I don't need to know. I guess what I'm saying is, let's just say there was a female and she was a. Let's just hypothetical female who's a casting agent or producer, some position to hire people. And she's vegan and she loves dogs, she rescues dogs. And then you find out that the person who's trying to get the job just got back from Arby's and hates dogs. I would say, I want to see that guy's writer submission. I don't care if there's gravy on it. I want to see the guy's work. I think a lot of women would go, fuck that bitch. I'm not working with someone who. Someone who doesn't like dogs. And someone is not down with the vegan movement. I'm not going to have someone eat Arby's in front of me every day at lunch. I'm not going to. So they would take their feelings and emotions and let them sort of drift into this realm, which then made it possible for them not to hire this person or hang out with this person or what have you. And I think as more and more women got into these positions and ooh. And became mayors and police chiefs and fire captains and stuff like that, more of this started entering the equation. Because I've seen a lot more of this than used to be, and I think it's a feminization.

[Andrew Klavan]

Well, I will go further than that. And this may get you actually canceled on your own show. You may have to cancel yourself after I say this, that when you notice women take over a field that was previously not taken over by women. It is a sign that that field is becoming irrelevant because the men have moved on. So it's not because the women are incompetent or they're not smart or anything like that. It's simply that the men are the guys who go to the next thing. They are the ones who discover video games. They're the ones. When we had this golden age of television around 2000, lasting about 10, 15 years, right? All of a sudden, fantastic shows.

[Adam Carolla]

Why?

[Andrew Klavan]

It was because suddenly there were all these different venues instead of the three networks, and they were desperate for material. So they would go to some guy and say, have you got anything? And the guy would say, well, how about a show in which the mobsters are just these suburban regular people like the Sopranos? They go, fine, we need it. Bring it in here. So finally, so suddenly you had like the Sopranos, you had Breaking Bad. You had all, you know, the shield, you had justified. All of these macho shows came in where guys were guys again, even though they had to be bad guys, because there was no place for good guys in the world that slowly, slowly deteriorated while the men moved on to whatever is coming next, which is probably, you know, was probably streaming and stuff like this. And then you get the women filling those places. And yeah, you know, there's all kinds of reasons why women are more left wing than men are and more strident in their opinions than men are. I mean, certainly when you look at the people who vote Democrat and Republican, it's the mommy party and the daddy party. And I think that that is something that absolutely happened as the movies became irrelevant, as the news media became irrelevant. I mean, you noticed all these female anchor people came in just as people stopped watching TV news. You know, it's not that they caused the death of the thing. It's that that the men move on and leave the space for them and they come in and take over. And so I think that, you know, it's not a. It's not a hit on them, but comedy is a perfect example. I mean, comedy vanished off television. All the shows were absolutely unfunny because women had taken over all of the comedy spots except one, that One and a Half Men, Two and a Half Men, what was it called with. With Charlie Sheen? And that show was hilarious. And nobody could figure out why. I can tell you why. It's because guys are funnier than women. You know, they're funny because they have to be. They. They have to charm women. Women don't have to charm men. We'll follow them anywhere, you know, but men are funnier because they have to be charming. And. And that was why that show was the only funny show on television. And it's just. It's just kind of an amazing phenomenon. And it's definitely gender related. There's just no question about it.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. And, you know, how could it not be? And I don't mean that as a pejorative, but if you just had guys in any field and it was 99% guys, and then at some point you blinked your eyes and it was 63% women, the field would change, and it wouldn't really matter what the subject was. It would be taught or approached from a different perspective. And. Yeah, and that's how it would work. And then you can decide whether that's good or whether it's bad. But what I'm saying is it'll definitely will change.

[Show Announcer / Producer]

Yeah.

[Andrew Klavan]

And I mean, if you listen to a little. You listen to a child and you hear the child say something like, I'm gonna take the skateboard and jump off a mountain and see what that's like. That's the little boy, you know, every single time. And so you do a show about, you know, like the Sopranos or the Wire or something like that. That's really difficult. I was. I was writing stories like that. I wrote a book called True Crime, which Clint Eastwood made into a movie where all of that. That. Those kinds of characters were at the center. Really tough guys who just didn't care what anybody thought of them were constantly getting in trouble with women and all that stuff. And then it kind of moved that when I wrote it, at the time in publishing, you couldn't do it, and people were upset about it in publishing. But then it went into TV for a while, and there was this moment. Somebody wrote a book about it called Troubled Men or Troublesome Men or something. Difficult Men. Difficult Men. That's what it was. It was that golden age of tv. And there's just something really magical and different and creative about guys when they first see something and think, oh, I'm gonna do something no one's ever done before. And it, you know, it just doesn't happen as often with women. It just doesn't. And, you know, I think that that is. It is a weird thing. And now, you know, if I haven't ended your career by now, Adam, I don't know what else I can say.

[Adam Carolla]

I've been saying this for a long time, so I think I'm all right. O'Reilly Auto Parts. Pow. Yeah, you know the jingle. These are the guys that keep your car on the road so you don't end up on the shoulder looking like a dope. Friendly, helpful service people who actually know their stuff, not just the kid who'd rather be staring at his phone. Always use these guys. One to the one in Glendale, one to the other one in La Canada. Just trying to get my car running. Vintage race car. They need work, they need prep. And that's where O'Reilly that's where they come in. Thousands of parts and accessories stocked in store or online so you don't have to panic when the check engine light appears. Need wipers swapped, brake lights out. These pros will help you find what you need. Or they'll hook you up the local shop if you're not a DIY type. So whether you're a gearhead or you don't know a lug nut from a donut, they'll walk you right through it. No attitude, just real help. Stop by O'Reilly Auto Parts today or visit us at O'ReillyAuto.com Adam that's O'ReillyAuto.com.

[Commercial Voice]

Adam this October, Fear is free on Pluto TV with horror movie collections from Paranormal Activity, the Ring, you will die in seven days Scream and from Dusk till Dawn.

[Show Announcer / Producer]

This is my kind of place.

[Commercial Voice]

And don't miss the man made nightmares in Mary Shelley's Frankenstein or the world ending chaos in 28 days later.

[Adam Carolla]

There's something in the blood.

[Commercial Voice]

All the scares all time. The for free Pluto TV stream now pay never.

[Adam Carolla]

It's again, it's also it's not really a judgment per se, although there's an implication of some negativity here. But my ex wife and I were different in terms of what we did, how we raised the kids, what our thoughts were. Her thoughts would be better for certain things and my thoughts would be better for almost everything, but not just few certain things. And that's how it works. And to suggest there is no difference is insane. But that's part of the time we're living in. So we're doing there's no difference between a man and a woman. And so if there's no difference between a man and a woman, well then what's the difference between Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton? You know what I mean? And I think there's a big difference. And it would be run the country would be run in a much different way by her.

[Andrew Klavan]

I used to go on tv, mainstream TV shows and promote my books and I would say, well, they're about men and so help me that every female interviewer would say, well, you don't mean they're about men. I'd say, yeah, no, they're about men being mentioned. No, but you don't mean that. No, I really do.

[Adam Carolla]

I really.

[Andrew Klavan]

That's what they're about. And then, you know, you don't get. You don't get invited back on the show. But. But I think that it's important. Like how. I mean, the books that I'm writing now are really about a guy who is a bad guy, who wants to become a good guy. And what's that like? And the reason I started writing about that is I noticed that every manly man on TV was a mobster or a drug dealer or a bent cop or something like that. And I thought, well, wait a minute. You know, guys are good. There are good guys, too, who are really, really macho. And you call them out when you need somebody, as you say, popped off, or when you need some. Some kind of harsh presence in the world, which, as we have just seen, really has an effect. Like when you watch what just happened in the Middle East. I mean, that's not because we had somebody playing nice. It's because we had somebody say, look, you know, here's a deal. Take this deal or I'm going to unleash this even worse guy. He's going to destroy everything you have. You know, it's like in a world where Donald Trump is the bad cop because Bibi is the good cop, where Donald Trump is the good cop because Bibi Netanyahu is standing in back of him, then you have men running the world, and you get a lot more peace and you get a lot more action going on that way.

[Adam Carolla]

Agreed. It was funny. I don't know why you were talking about making films and how woke and everything they were. We never talk about it, but it is a production and it does have value and it does cost a fair bit. And they're getting pretty intricate. And I was noticing, I just did a lot of flying, and I was sitting there in United, and I was watching the safety film they run in the seat monitor. And I was looking at that. And by the way, the production's getting pretty grand with these things now. They're spending money on these things. But it starts off first with the black pilot, of course, and then he goes into the lesbian co pilot and then into. And I was like, 15 minutes, see a white guy. And if they had a white guy, he was just handing somebody a drink or something and scurrying out again. And I realized the wokest productions in the world are the safety films on airlines at some point. So it's like lights up on the 44 year old black pilot. Right? Which is fine, but I just took 11 flights and I didn't see a black pilot in the last 11 flights. And I'm not saying they don't exist, I'm just saying it's a low. So statistically lowish. But okay, that's what you want to present. Then at some point it's the Asian booking agent or the gay guy serving the drinks. And then at some point they have to have the couple with the young kids sitting in between them because they have to put the mask on first and then put the mask on your young child. The couple of course is mixed. So it's the blond chick and the black guy. You have to have that, but have to have that.

[Andrew Klavan]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

After just a cavalcade of ethnicities and women and mixed couples, I realized this is the most progressive production that you can see. Again, you can watch. They'll do an action movie and the president will be a black woman, but the action star is still Tom Cruise. You know what I mean? Now they're. And he's, you know, his love interest is a white chick. You know, like there's some diversity, but not. This is all the airline safety. Film production is the wokest of all of all the productions I figured out. Oh, we have. Oh wow. We have. It's five minutes. I like to see, I like to see how this works. You'll be hard pressed to just find me one old white guy doing something like flying a plane or something. We'll see if it starts if it's the one I saw the last five flights. Yes.

[Andrew Klavan]

Oh, there it is.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, we'll see if we can see. We can play it for it. It's gotta be lights up on a black pilot. All right, let's see now. This wasn't the one, but. Oh, there he is, there he is. Hi and welcome. I'm black pilot.

[Andrew Klavan]

We appreciate your attention.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm not really a pilot. Well, that's enough. All right, so now we're gonna follow the production.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

FAA regulations require you to follow the instructions of our crew members.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, so now. All right, so sorry. All right, pause. All right, lights up. Black pilot, lady pilot. Now what are the. How many flights would you have to go on before you had the black pilot and the female co pilot or vice versa? Like so already it's airline pilot. Which is. Airline pilot is probably. I'm trying to up there with professional surfer is the widest job in the world. And we already don't have a white dude as a pilot, even though 86% of pilots are white. All right, but anyway, so this is how. This is how we serve. We got a black pilot. We got a chick pilot. Here we go.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

Please review the safety card located at your seat.

[Safety Video Narrator]

It's important to have your seatbelt on at all times.

[Adam Carolla]

Woman of. All right, pause. Now we got woman of color. Who's doing the. Who's the. We're not allowed to say. Stewardess. Flight attendant. All right, I'll keep going to the buckle.

[Safety Video Narrator]

Tighten by pulling the loose end of the strap. Lift the buckle. When the seat belt sign is on, your seatbelt must be fastened low and tight across your lap. In case of unexpected turbulence. Keep your seatbelt fastened.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, pause. There's a white dude, but he's off to the side. He's. He's background. Oh, by the way, they don't like the term extra anymore. Andrew.

[Andrew Klavan]

Oh, no, that's gone.

[Adam Carolla]

No, your background actor or background. I don't. We do stuff like. Yeah, you don't do prostitute. You gotta go sex worker. I go, that's not better. That's not better. Background. They were called extras for 200 years.

[Andrew Klavan]

It increases your dignity. Now you have dignity as a background actor.

[Adam Carolla]

There's a part I gotta bounce off with you which will drive me nuts. All right, we're gonna watch this a little more because then we're gonna get to the smoke detector, and it drives me insane. Insane.

[Safety Video Narrator]

Keep your seatbelt fastened even when the seat belt sign is off.

[Adam Carolla]

In United Polaris business class, if your seat has a shoulder strap. Black guy, black girl. Secure the shoulder strap by placing the metal fitting over the lock and pulling on the strap until it clicks. The shoulder strap must be secure for taxi take off. Now, hold on a second. Am I making this up? I mean, like, when I'm. Here's what I'm saying.

[Andrew Klavan]

It's like this on Netflix, Adam.

[Adam Carolla]

And when I'm putting this together, I would go, listen, I get the whole diversity thing. I get the whole diversity thing, but if it's all black people, it's gonna be confusing and seem weird when they're 13% of the population. By the way, I will bet you blacks are 13% of the population and fly a little bit less than the representation of the population. But anyway. All right, keep going. Lease push down on the metal fitting and lift.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

Please take a moment to look around in order to familiarize yourself with the aircraft. This Boeing Triple seven. Two black people, four on each side of the aircraft. If the doors are opened in an emergency, slide.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, pause here. Has there been one white dude in this entire thing that I've now seen 28 people in? Has there been, like, one white dude going, hey, I know what I'm doing. Listen to me.

[Andrew Klavan]

Not at the center of it. And you know the worst thing about it?

[Adam Carolla]

It's not.

[Andrew Klavan]

It's not the diversity. It's the lecturing. It's people like, you're basically being lectured that you're. You know, you're not good enough to actually accept what you're seeing, and you're complaining about it, so you must be a bigot. But it's not that. It's just like, I don't want to be lectured to, especially from Hollywood. The worst people in the country. I do not want them telling me that every marriage has to be a mixed marriage because, you know, God knows. God knows they're not famous for their marital fidelity. I don't want them telling me what I should be seeing. It's offensive, you know, it's offensive to be lectured at by people who make movies.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, at a certain point, it's distracting.

[Andrew Klavan]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

You see, like, when you see your fifth action movie in a row and they're like, madam President and Eartha Kitt comes around the corner, you're like, of course, of course, of course. All right, keep it going. Keep it going.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

In a water landing slide, rafts detach from the aircraft and are used as life rafts. All eight exits are marked with overhead signs as you locate the two exits nearest your seat. Remember, they may be behind you if.

[Adam Carolla]

You are seated in an exit row. All right. Probably gay.

[Andrew Klavan]

I was gonna say a little bit.

[Adam Carolla]

A little bit, like, yeah, little light in those loafers. But I think in their mind, it's a gay guy, though. They can't go way. You know, they can't have divine up there. But also, if I was from a different civilization or a different time, I'd just go. So I guess airlines are all just. It's all black people and chicks. Is that all this? Like, I would be confused. All right, we got to get this smoke detector. You can keep it rolling. The crew during an evacuation, if you are unable or uncomfortable performing exit row functions and assisting in an emergency, please ask a flight attendant to be moved. If you must evacuate the aircraft, exit path lights on or near the floor will guide you to the exit. Look for a change in color or an exit Sign to indicate that you have reached an exit. For everyone's safety, leave all carry on bags behind. Please refer to the safety card near your seat for the operation of the exit doors on this aircraft.

[Safety Video Narrator]

If necessary, oxygen masks will drop from a compartment in the lavatories.

[Adam Carolla]

The mix couple. All right, we got the black flight attendant talking to the.

[Safety Video Narrator]

Firmly pull the mask to extend the.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay, so you got the black guy or the Hispanic. Let's pause it for a second. Got the black guy, mixed race in the center and strawberry blonde to the right. So I got a mixed couple there. All I'm saying is at a certain point it becomes distracting. Like there has to be one white couple with a white kid on this planet at some point.

[Andrew Klavan]

It's supposed to be distracting, though. You're supposed to know what you're being told.

[Adam Carolla]

Maybe it worked on me because I studied this thing. But then we're going to get to the lab, the laboratory smoke detector and Andrew as a wordsmith. I'm going to need you to weigh in on this one. Go ahead.

[Safety Video Narrator]

And sealing compartments in the lavatories. If a strap appears and you cannot reach the mask, pull down on the strap to access your mask firmly. Pull the mask to extend the plastic tubing and start the flow of oxygen. Place the mask over your nose and mouth. Slip the electric plastic band over your head and tighten the straps. The bag may not inflate while oxygen is flowing. Make sure your mask is secure before helping others.

[Adam Carolla]

I like the wraps it in blue. You will find a life vest equipped with the water activated black in a pouch under post between or next to your seat. When directed, pull the tab to remove the pouch. If present, remove the strap from around the belt. Are they based in Atlanta? Remove and unfold the vest. Slip it over your head. Wrap the belt around. This angers me. Get ready. Hold on. Pull the loose end to tighten. Now inflate your vest just prior to exiting the aircraft by pulling down sharply on the red tag. You can also inflate the vest by blowing into the tube. All right, hold on. This drives me nuts. They go blown to the tube and then they hold the thing up like a dandelion and with their lips three inches away. Go. It's like bitch. That's not how you inflate that vest. That is why you put this on film.

[Andrew Klavan]

You want.

[Adam Carolla]

You want this planes going down to Davy Jones locker. We're all holding this tube three inches from our face going like we're trying to get a bottle to whistle.

[Andrew Klavan]

It's also. Can you tell Me. Now on the test, can you tell me where that inflatable device is?

[Adam Carolla]

I mean, it went by seven different positions. But all I'm saying is, put it in your mouth. It may be homoerotic. Put it in your mouth. That's how you blow it up. You don't hold it three inches from your mouth and blow at it. What other safety film would they tell you the incorrect way to do something?

[Andrew Klavan]

To be fair, it was a white guy who built that little maze with the ball that rolls around.

[Adam Carolla]

That's true.

[Andrew Klavan]

You can't find anybody else to put it together.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, back to the black chick. Dawson, stop. Am I making any of this up? I mean, this is nuts, right? We got one gay guy, one gay white guy so far.

[Show Announcer / Producer]

You would think that the population would mirror this.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. All right, go ahead.

[Safety Video Narrator]

Infant life vests, which will be distributed if necessary.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

Smoking, vaping, using E cigarettes or smokeless tobacco are not allowed on this aircraft. FAA regulations prohibit tampering with, disabling or destroying lavatory.

[Adam Carolla]

Stop it there. Okay, another chick. That's just chicks and blacks. But tampering with, disabling and destroying. I want to have a seizure every time I'm on a flight. It's just tampering. Tampering is enough. It's all covered with tampering. You cannot tamper.

[Andrew Klavan]

You can't.

[Adam Carolla]

If you disable or destroy a smoke detector, you first tampered with it.

[Andrew Klavan]

You have tampered with it. Yes. No question about it.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, every airline does all three.

[Andrew Klavan]

Also, I noticed they delivered this. This girl. She's, like, very pretty, and she's walking along kind of with a little bit of a wiggle there on that machine. I think they're kind of seducing you into not tampering with their stupid smoke machines.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes, you. For you, my love.

[Andrew Klavan]

For you, my darling. Please, please, sweetheart, don't.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. One more time. You guys have all heard this every single flight. Tampering with, disabling or destroying the lavatory, it's just tampering. Or I could say you can't touch it.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

Smoking, vaping, using E cigarettes or smokeless tobacco are not allowed on this aircraft. FAA regulations prohibit tampering with, disabling or destroying lavatory smoke detectors.

[Adam Carolla]

If I ever sit. If I ever sit next to Mike Ox on the flight, whenever this part starts, I punch him in the shoulder three times. Tampering with, disabling or destroying.

[Andrew Klavan]

Don't do any of those things that's.

[Adam Carolla]

Been going on for so long. And every airline says exactly the same Thing when you had me at tampering. But disabling would work as well. Cuz you're really just saying I wanna smoke in the bathroom, but there's a smoke detector so I have to disable it so I can smoke in the bathroom.

[Andrew Klavan]

I do think, you know, at this point, you know, Trump has been signing all these executive orders. It's time that he got to important stuff like this. Like we don't have to listen. How to buckle a seatbelt on a plane. They shouldn't be allowed to keep talking after. After all the federal regulations, they shouldn't be able to sell you a credit card. You're stuck on this little tube hurricane through space. These are executive orders. We need, you know, enough of this ice stuff.

[Adam Carolla]

And I agree, I agree. Boring. Yeah, Border boring. All right, we get it. Yeah. But how about them blowing into the tube to inflate the vest?

[Andrew Klavan]

That should be an exec. It's an EO right there. They must blow directly into the tube.

[Adam Carolla]

I want to see those lips hit that tube.

[Andrew Klavan]

Those sweet lips. That's right. Exactly.

[Adam Carolla]

I want that. And I want tampering with. I will accept one of the three selections. I will not accept all of them. Yeah, I will accept tampering with or disabling or destroying, but not the trifecta. Every single flight. Or maybe I'll trade you. You can take destroying, but I want the lips on that inflatable vest. Right.

[Andrew Klavan]

Right after that. I also want an EO telling people waiters to slow down at restaurants so I'm not shuffled out of there in 45 minutes. If I go to a restaurant, I want to sit there, I do. Close to two hours. These are eos we need. These are the eos we need.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm with you. And you can get rid of this now. Other Andrew producer. Yeah, I agree. I find that I go out to eat, to enjoy myself, not so much for sustenance. You know, I could have a hard boiled egg at home. Right? Yeah. Let's have a drink, let's have a conversation. And they'll come by and they'll go, can I put in that? And I'll just, always go, just give it a. We'll just order an appetizer and some drinks and we'll just sit for a while. I'm with you.

[Andrew Klavan]

And they always say the same thing. They always say no rush. And then they come back five minutes later. Are you ready now?

[Adam Carolla]

Right, right.

[Andrew Klavan]

Five minutes after that. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Andrew Klavan]

Luckily, since I usually go out to eat with my wife, my wife is like the sweetest human being on earth. And she'll say, sweetheart, we're gonna finish our drink, so don't, you know, we don't wanna see you again until. And they're always so charmed. They kind of go away with little hearts in and they just leave us alone. But it's hard work. It's hard work to get two hours out of a restaurant.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah. And that's eos.

[Andrew Klavan]

This is where the executive order should be aimed. No question about it.

[Adam Carolla]

And also, if you sort of look at it like restaurant going out to eat. And it's getting really expensive now, in a way, it's sort of by the hour, you know what I mean? Like, if it's 300 bucks and you're in there for 55 minutes, then you just spent 320 bucks for an hour. You know what I mean? If you can spread it out over two hours, now we're at a buck fifty an hour. So like a reasonable therapist, Andrew Clavin, let me give you a plug. After that, the Dark. You can pre order at the Daily wire right now, dailywire.comklavan and also listen to his podcast Andrew Klavan show as well at the Daily Wire. Andrew, say hi to all the boys over there from me.

[Andrew Klavan]

Hey, I will do it. I will do it. They love you.

[Adam Carolla]

Always great to catch up with you, my friend.

[Andrew Klavan]

Yeah. Good to see you, Adam. It really is.

[Adam Carolla]

Thanks. We'll talk soon. I'm gonna be at Flappers out here in Burbank on October 29th and then in Boston at the Wilbur Theater on November 6th and then Buffalo, New York at Electric City on the 7th of November. You go to AdamCoral.com for all the live shows. And we had a new fire vlog out a couple days back. You can check that out as well. Until next time, Adam Caroll for Alicia Krause and Andrew Clavin saying mahalo.

[Show Announcer / Producer]

Leave us a voicemail at 888-634-1744 and make sure you get tickets. CPA's [e-mail].

[Commercial Voice]

This October, Fear is free on Pluto TV with horror movie collections from Paranormal Activity, the ring.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

You will die in seven days.

[Commercial Voice]

Scream. And from dusk till dawn.

[Adam Carolla]

This is my kind of place.

[Commercial Voice]

And don't miss the man made nightmares in Maryland. Shelley's Frankenstein or the world ending chaos in 28 days later. Something in the blood, all the scares, all for free. Pluto TV stream now pay Never. This October, fear is free on Pluto TV with horror movie collections from Paranormal Activity. The ring.

[Dawson (Adam's co-host or producer)]

You will die in seven days scream.

[Commercial Voice]

And from dusk till dawn.

[Show Announcer / Producer]

This is my kind of place.

[Commercial Voice]

And don't miss the man made nightmares in Mary Shelley's Frankenstein or the world ending chaos in 28 days later.

[Adam Carolla]

Something in the blood.

[Commercial Voice]

All the scares. All for free. Pluto TV stream now pay never.