
Loading summary
A
All right, in this episode, Adam Yen's a very funny stand up comedian and writer is going to join me. He's doing the news as well. And we'll do all that right after this. Thanks for tuning into the Adam Carolla Show. You can watch the full show on YouTube just search Adam Carolla show and hit subscribe so you never miss an episode. You can also get the podcast wherever you like to listen. And for extra content, ad free episodes and more, you can head over to our substack and sign up today. Hey, this is Adam Carolla from the Adam Carolla Show. Prediction markets talk outcomes. BetOnline puts odds behind them. For decades, bettors have trusted BetOnline for accurate lines, deep prop markets, and real money action across every major sport. Get the latest odds, live props in game betting and expert pricing throughout the season and beyond. And when you're ready for a different kind of thrill, BetOnline Casino delivers nonstop action and premium rewards. Don't guess with the crowd. Bet with the book. That's been doing it right for years. Bet online. The game starts here.
B
From Corolla One studios in Glendale, California, this is the Adam Carolla Show. Today we got the news with Adam Yenzer. And now Adam Carolla.
A
Get it on. Adam Jenzer back in studio. Very funny. Stand up comedian. Got a couple dry bar specials, right?
C
Just one.
A
Oh, just one. Well, maybe I watched it twice. Yeah.
C
Thanks.
A
Very funny. Joke. Writer. Used to work, I don't know. Do you own an Emmy for writing for ellen?
C
I have 11 of them.
A
11 Emmys.
C
So whenever we'd win for writing, I'd get one. And then they also just kind of credited everyone as a producer on that show. So whenever the talk show won, we'd get another one. 11 Emmys, but they're Daytime Emmys. It's like our competition was like the ladies of the View.
A
So. Whoa, local Emmy. I think the pecking order. Local Emmy. Daytime Emmy. Emmy. Emmy.
C
Exactly. Yeah.
A
All right.
C
Well, I should see if I can trade in the 11 for one primetime Emmy. If you can kind of upgrade them eventually.
A
You know, I'm trying to, you know, I'm trying to think because there's a, you know, there's a pecking order for everything. Like in the automotive world, winning at Le Mans, a big deal. But then the 24 hours of Daytona is pretty good, but it's not as good as Le Mans. And then there's the 12 hours of Sebring, which is good, but it's not as good. It really is the local Emmy, the Daytime Emmy. And the Emmy. Emmy, which is Lamar. And then the question is. Yeah. How many Daytona wins would be worth a Le Mans win? Exactly. And the sad kind of answer is, no amount of time Xs is worth a Rolex.
C
Yes. Yeah.
A
And no amount of Ford Explorers is worth a Lamborghini. Like, there's a weird thing that never works. You go, well, what if you had a hundred Ford Explorers?
C
Still not good enough.
A
You still want the Lamborghini?
C
Yeah.
A
So anyway, you got the Ford Explorer and God bless you.
C
Exactly. Yep. I'll make do with it.
A
So. Oh, and Ellen has moved back.
C
Oh, yeah. So I said, when she said she was moving there because Trump won, everybody was like, oh, did you hear? She. I go, she'll be back. Like, there's no way she. And I heard. I don't think Rosie o' Donnell moved back, but she like came back to visit for an extended period. Yes, they're gonna come back eventually. I don't think any of them are gonna make it in England forever.
A
Well, you know, as I tell people all the time, my grandfather, who was not my biological grandfather, but his name was Laszlo Gorog, who's Hungary.
C
That's a great name.
A
It's a good name. And Gorog is spelled the same forward and backwards. Got that going for you. So he left Hungary, I would guess in probably like 1940, maybe 1939. So they're rounding up Jews and he was Jewish and he got which way the wind was blowing in Hungary, and his sister ended up getting rounded up, and his nephew and many, many members of his community and family end up getting hauled off to concentration camps by Hitler. But Laszlo had a feeling early, and it wasn't the bullshit virtue signal. Feeling like, I'll go to Ireland and enjoy myself in an Airbnb for six months and then I'll come back, but I'll claim there's a target on my back. Or some, some fear, you know, it's right up there with ICE is kicking indoors, deporting people who look different than them and all that stuff. Half of ICE is Hispanic and the other half are women. So it's sort of weird, this whole clan theme. They keep going. It's like a weird clan fever dream that they have. A bunch of red haired guys are kicking open doors. It's mostly like when you look at like the LAPD or the Chicago PD or the New York PD first off, it's tons of women. ICE is like 40% women now. I don't know that they're 40% of the people on the street, there's lots of other roles to play. But it's 40% women. It's like 45% Hispanic because, by the.
C
Way, oh yeah, there's a lot of Hispanic agents.
A
Top job cops. Aren't the Irish guy walking the beat, oh, Marley's here with his paddy wagon. It's not that. It's a bunch of Hispanic chicks now in la. Is that what. So this whole racist cop theme is kind of fucked for them. But they keep going with the theme, which is fine. But my grandfather Laszlo, he was like, I'm leaving because I think they're gonna start rounding us up and putting us in gas chambers. And he left. And he didn't announce he was gonna leave for four years and never leave. He left and he didn't leave and come back. He certainly didn't leave and come back. He just left because he was scared and so were a lot of people. So that's what actual fear looks like. Bullshit. Virtue signaling fear. This is a different kind of fear because it's not actual fear.
C
He didn't come back four months later and buy a bigger mansion than his last mansion.
A
He got a place from Oprah's place in Mendocino County.
C
I also saw, I think it was the day Ellen was seen back shopping for new mansion or new house. It was the same day that she and others had called for some sort of buying boycott to protest ICE.
A
So it was like $25 million. We're not gonna buy anything but Santa Barbara mansions. You know, the saddest part about LA is when they're like, Kamala Harris spent $8 million for a mansion in Malibu. Like, that's 3,000 square foot.
C
Yeah.
A
And it may be a tear down.
C
Yeah.
A
Like in Malibu. All right, so speaking of that, I had. I've been going to a construction site that is the only construction site that is going on Pacific coast highway in Malibu. There's, there's every, every lot is burnt out just about in front of me. And many, many lots of on the water side and on the hill and stuff. But there's only one that's undergoing construction actively. And so I walk past it when I go on my walks. But I also make a trip over there because I'm endlessly fascinated in over engineering. And you guys have heard it enough so I won't get into all of it. But it is crazy the amount of Congress. I went there on Saturday and they were spraying shotcrete on the retaining wall. That goes against pch. That is basically concrete. That is Forced out of a rig and sprayed, and it essentially sticks. And then they trowel it off. I'll tell you, I like this contractor. So I've had a chance periodically to stop and talk to different people. I was lucky enough to talk to the contractor the other day. I was lucky enough to have the architect come over and interview because I'm doing a lot of guesswork. How big is this house? How much for the foundation, how many yards of concrete and all that. But I've been able to talk to these guys. So I have pretty good retention. I have very good retention. If I'm talking about a subject I know about, and I know about this subject. So if you told me your jeep Cherokee had a 4.4 liter engine that was fuel injected with the single overhead cam, if you ran into me 10 years later and asked me about your jeep engine, I would say, remember all that 4.4 with the overhead cam and whatever? Yeah, I would. But it's only because I speak the language. If I don't speak the language, I don't know what you're talking about. If you're talking about computers and what to do, how to log on to your whatever account, that's my weakness, too. Get onto your itunes account, whatever the password is. I'm completely, completely semi retarded.
C
Yeah.
A
Like, people look at me and they go with a certain amount of disgust. You don't know your itunes password? I don't. I really don't. Okay. So I'm learning as they're downloading this information to me, but couple things, if I can recall. Here's the guy you want as a contractor. These guys dig down about. And I won't use hyperbole. I hate when people go. They go down 100ft or whatever it is. They go down like 12, 14 foot. They put this cage up against these piles, these cement piles. They've sunk into the ground, and then they blow on this gunite and. Or shot creed. It's kind of the same thing. And then he goes. And then the guys come behind them and they trowel it all off so it looks nice. And I said, yeah, but wait a second. Aren't you just gonna backfill all that stuff, like, basically up to the street level? Like, if you look at it again, they trench down and go down with the retaining wall. But then when they're done, they backfill it all with sand, and it goes all the way up basically to the top. So I go, you're never gonna see the nicely troweled wall. And he goes, yeah, I know, we just like to do it that way. And I was like, that's a dude. I fucking like that dude. You are going to trowel it and then bury it and then cover it up because you like to do good work.
C
You want to know that you did it the right way. It's a point of pride.
A
I feel like, yeah, it's a point of pride that cost you some extra hours of extra men and effort and all that. But God damn it, there somebody troweling it behind the guy who was spraying it. And if you play it again, Chuck, you'll see him spraying it on. It just gets sprayed on like cottage cheese coming out of a 4 inch hose. But if you stop it there, the part behind the part where he's spraying it is being nicely finished like it's a basketball court. And then they will then fill the whole thing up to the very top bond beam with sand and you'll never see it again. But he's finishing it off and I like that. I'm fine. You know why? I'll tell you why I like it. People go, why? Why bother? I go, because let me give everyone a tip. Don't have two modes. People have two modes. They're like, here's the way I treat the microwave at home and. And here's the one I treat the one at work. And those are totally different ways. I'll blow up a burrito at work and walk away at home. I'm wiping it down. Okay, now you got two modes, you know what I mean? And it becomes in a weird way, like they go, you know, cheating and kind of getting your story straight, you know what I mean? Like when you lie, when you lie, you have to remember your lies. If you don't lie, you never have to. If you have one mode, trowel it down, bitch. Trowel that bitch. Clean that microwave. If you wouldn't leave the lights on on your apartment when you leave, then don't leave the lights on in your office at work when you leave. Now asking, just have one mode and you'll be good.
C
Now asking for a friend, what if the mode is to leave the microwave dirty at work and at home? Okay, I feel like I'm good with most things. I don't know that I've wiped down the microwave in a while.
A
I respect and have sympathy and empathy and everything that ends with the toward the person that treats their car and the rental car the same way. I don't like when you treat your car very pristinely. And the rental car.
C
I am good with rental cars.
B
Yeah.
A
And I don't. I've seen it a million times where people, like, they're guys who borrow your tools and leave them all over the place. And then they're super organized with their shit. You know what I mean? And I just. It bothers me.
C
And with the rental car especially, like, as a comic, I'm on the road a lot, so I treat those the same way I treat my own car. Cause I don't want to run into any problems myself when I'm out there with it.
A
It's like, yeah, yeah. One time, someone who used to work here got really pissed at me because they were cooking or making something in the back, and they literally unscrewed the top to a salt container and they were using it. And when they're done, they just set it down and left. And I'm like, it's a warehouse. You can't leave that stuff open overnight. And he's like, I forgot to put it. And I said, you forgot or you were done with it?
C
Yeah.
A
And he goes, and it wasn't yours? And he goes, I forgot. I go, would you ever forget at home? If you're at home and you unscrewed the top, the salt, and you use it, and then you just leave it with the cap next to it and you just forgot about it? You just went to bed that night? No fucking way. Now, maybe you don't know yourself, but I know enough to know you have two different modes. You got his stuff mode and my stuff mode. And it bothers. I don't like when people do it with rental cars. I don't like when they do it with kids. I. I don't like when they do it with pets. I don't like what they do with microwaves. And I don't like they do it with gunite being troweled. I just have one mode. And by the way, that's all I need to know about this guy.
C
Yeah.
A
He trowels off his gunite that then gets backfilled and buried. Only maybe futuristic conquistadors would find it exploring for sunken treasure or something. No one looked in a museum.
C
Someday, millions of years from now, they'll dig it up.
A
And I'll tell you the thing about these guys, or guys who do good work. He would have to look at it for two weeks before they backfilled that thing. And he didn't want to see it. He wants to see it finished.
C
Now, to play not devil's advocate, but is there Any financial incentive to this will make the work take longer.
A
This will get us extra time. Theoretically, no, because it's probably big did. It's not a time and materials. You know, there's time and materials where you go, I don't know how long it's going to take me to assemble that Ikea furniture and how long if it's going to take adhesives or whatever, duct tape or something. So I'll charge you time and materials. But a big job like this, probably 2.5 million bucks for the foundation only it's probably bid out, and there's overages and a little move in each way. But they bid this, so they're just kind of doing it as part of the bid. And maybe it was worked into. I mean, maybe it was worked into the bid, but I'm saying they don't have to do it. So the thing that's crazy is I walk around. I now have become that weird neighbor that sitcoms made fun of, historically, where, like, I walk around and stand and watch them, you know, And I'll. I'll talk to the foreman, and I'll go, what's the schedule? He's like, Saturday, we're shooting gunite on the seawall. I'll go, what time? Eight. Between eight and ten, I go, okay, I'll see you.
C
You bring a lawn chair and the binoculars.
A
I take my iPhone and I go and I plant myself and I film it. And it's so sad. It's so sad. I showed up at 9. I want to see some gunite flying or shotgrete. It's the same thing. And all I see is a bunch of accidents sitting around, and I'm like, what's going on? And, like, the truck's not here. And, like, what's going on with the truck? It's coming at 10. I'm like, I thought it was coming at 8. We thought it was coming at 8, too, but it's coming at 10. The cement truck. I go, okay, well, I'll go get some coffee and come back. I literally went and got coffee and came back.
C
Don't let anyone take my spot.
A
Yeah, this is my. This is my cooler. Yeah, those are my Zimas.
C
And when they're doing that shotcrete, how long does that take to. Are they doing that all day or.
A
No, it's about. They were on their second truck. I think it's going to take about four trucks worth, which is about 40 yards cubic yards, which is a lot. Like, I don't think people. I will paint you this picture for the layperson, when people go, oh, how many yards are into that thing? This guy, the architect, sorry, the Foreman told me 3,000 yards, which is insane. Which is insane. Which is nuts. People have no idea. People have no idea what a yard of concrete is. And I looked it up and I've gone through this. If you were to mix up a yard of concrete, it's a cubic yard. If you went to the Home Depot, Home Depot has two size sacks of ready mix concrete. They have a smaller one that's like 60 pounds and then they have a bigger one that's 92 pounds. I believe it's 92. Chuck could check for me. I think it's 60 and 92. I don't know why it's 60 and 92. Maybe it's a metric thing, I don't know. But the big sack is 92 as I recall. And that's the size of like a big pillow. A big pillow. And it weighs 92 pounds.
C
Yeah.
A
If you wanted to mix up one yard of concrete, you would have to buy seven of those.
C
Oh my gosh. Really?
A
Wow, seven. Let's see, are they 80? What standard? Oh, okay. Common bags weigh 40, 50, 60, 80 and 90. So back when I did was like 60 and 90s with the place Kevin. I don't know where I'm getting the two from, but maybe that was back in the day. But either way, you would have to get seven of those bags, seven of the big bags, put them in a wheelbarrow, get the hose out and mix.
C
And that's one yard, one cubic yard. This is 3,000 yards.
A
He said, yes. And those they, they shot in that one day, they shot 40 yards at least. So one seven bags is one yard. They shot 40 and that was just on the back seawall. There's yards and yards and yards and yards to go. So I went and talked to the architect then. People now know me as the crazy man who walks around and stands and watches, you know. And I think the Mexicans look at me like the Chupacabra, the legend.
C
There he is.
A
The legend of the Chupacabra, the least interesting man in the world.
C
They have blurry photos of you that they share with each other. That's right.
A
So I stand there and I watch. And the Mexicans have a great quality, which is they don't really bother you. Like they're the opposite of the Karen, like the middle aged blue eyed chick, you know, Like I literally walk onto the site, walk through the gate, you know, on the other side of the fence and just like stand there and they're never like, hey, my friend, what are you doing? Yeah, they just work. They just work. If that was a group of Minnesotan 40 year old women, it would be like, excuse you, I'm sorry. Pardon me, sorry.
C
They'd be filming you on there.
A
I'm sorry. What is your business here? Are you the homeowner?
C
Do you live here?
A
Yeah, I always love.
C
Are you from this neighborhood?
A
I love when they already have the answer.
C
Yes.
A
Like, like, do you own this? Yes, bitch, I own it. They know you don't own the home, right? Are you. Are you involved with the. Excuse me. What is your business? There's no. There's literally 14 Mexicans all working. And I just come walking up and stand there and by the way, close to the edge where the thing could cave in and I could fall into a trench or nobody says a word. They just all walk past you. They'll never bug you. They'll never bug you. The Karens are the ones that bug you. But the architect came up and started talking to me because he had recognized me, and I started picking his brain. What's going on? Okay, here's the crazy thing. That house, and there's other. I put stuff up. We're doing more vlogs on it and stuff. That house with the five story deep caissons that go into the ground and the millions of feet of rebar and the thousands of yards of concrete. I go, what was here before the fire? He said, it was a house. He remodeled it. Same owners. He remodeled the house. I go, oh, when was the house built? Well, it was originally built probably the late 60s, maybe the early 70s. And then he got hold of it in the, I don't know, 2015 or something, did a big time remodel on it, and then it burned to the ground. I said, we're just standing there in amongst all these seawalls and caissons and bond beams and grade beams and already 2,000 yards of concrete already poured. And I go, what was their original foundation from the 70s? He goes, all wood. I go, no seawall, no pilasters or no caissons? He goes, no, they're just wood. I go, like just the telephone poles that just got driven into the ground. Wooden piles, like an old pier. He goes, yeah, the piles burn down. Basically when the house burns down, they burn down. And at the end there's just nubs hanging out. You know, she's like three or four feet for some reason. Maybe the ocean is up high or something. So there's all these nubs. They're just telephone poles just hanging out. You know, there's like 12 of them. I go, did you have to get them out? Yeah, man. You had to dig around them and pull them out? And he goes, it was a bitch. Like they didn't want to move. And I was like, so this entire thing was just built on wood?
C
That's impressive.
A
Pounded into the ground. Oh, yeah. I go, was it fine? He goes, yeah, it was fine until then. Burned it down. I go, well, what are you doing now? And he's like, well, that's the new code. And I go, but the old code worked fine. Yeah, literally. Now we're going to pour 3,000 yards of concrete, man. It is. It is insane. Oh, oh, oh. O'Reilly Auto Parts. O'Reilly Auto Parts are in the business keeping your car on the road. They offer friendly, helpful service and all the knowledge you need. If I can't figure out something with my car, well, I go over to O'Reilly. That's the first call I make. They have thousands of parts in stock and can test your battery for free. Need wipers, brake light or quick fix? They'll get you the right part. Everyone who works there is knowledgeable and friendly. And I know last time I went there, the guy held the door open for me when I was walking out. It's. They're professional parts people. That's who they are. Over at O'Reilly, it's a one stop shop for DIY auto stuff in store or online. It's O'Reilly. Right? Dawson, stop by O'Reilly Auto Parts today.
B
Or visit us@O'ReillyAuto.com Adam that's O'ReillyAuto.com Adam.
D
We're celebrating Black History Month with our free curated collection of black entertainment.
A
No ifs, ands or buts about it.
D
Catch award winning films like Dreamgirls, Monster's Ball and Selma.
C
We must make a massive demonstration.
D
Iconic hits like School Days and Set it Off. Plus full seasons of shows like Tyler Perry's Sistas and Power. I got you it. Star studded brilliant black entertainment. And it's all free. This is this month and always on Pluto TV stream now pay never.
C
Support is available 247 with VRBoCare. We're here day or night ready whenever you need help because a great trip starts with the right support.
A
All right, so I was watching the Mel, you're a comedian, you'll have thoughts. I was watching the Mel Brooks documentary and I love any doc and a Mel Brooks doc is great. And I've never been able to fully wrap my mind around Mel Brooks in the sense that I love, let's say, Albert Brooks. And I love Defending youg Life. And I love Lost in America. And I think his stuff is funny, but it's profound as well. Like, Defending your Life's an important movie. Like, you should watch it. It makes you kind of think, like, yeah, I think he's right about this. It's a. It's a very interesting approach to the afterlife.
C
Yeah.
A
In lieu of whatever your beliefs are, religion may be. So Mel Brooks has been, like, hit and miss and could be really schmaltzy and stupid.
C
Like.
A
And I'm like. And then. And then. But then, you know, writing scores for musicals that are smart and interesting. And I'm like, which? And then, you know, you go, well, Young Frankenstein, that was a really interesting movie. And you go, well, that's Mel Brooks. And you go, yeah, but that was Gene Wilder's idea. And he probably wrote the smarter stuff in that. But then Mel Brooks directed it, and he produced a lot of stuff, like the Elephant man and interesting stuff, and he does deserve a lot of credit. And then there's Blazing Saddles, but Richard Pryor wrote on that. And then you're kind of like, sometimes you're kind of like, there's a lot of this in this business. Like, a lot of guys who used to, like, let's say back in the day, they'd go, this guy worked on Letterman. This guy worked on the Simpsons. And I'd go, oh, good, let's hire that guy. And then you'd hire me. That guy's not funny.
C
I worked on a project one time with a guy that wrote for the Simpsons and had an Emmy award for it. And then he was. He was not great.
A
Realmy. Nighttime Emmy, fake ones. I tried to trade him.
C
I tried to trade him for it. I couldn't get it.
A
Get your dick sucked at a party. That kind of Emmy. Yeah. Okay, so not your Emmy.
C
No, not my real.
A
No, legit Emmy.
C
I can't even get a hand job for all 11 of mine.
A
Not with the chocolate center, but with the actual.
C
Yeah.
A
Weight and heft.
C
But it was the same thing where he. You know, when he starts writing, it's like it was part of a team. And I'm that way with Mel Brooks movies. There's ones I love. Like, I love Spaceballs. I'm a big fan of Blazing Saddles. But when people make lists where they're, like, the best comedy movies of all time, they'll Put a lot of his on there. I'm not like a devotee of all of his work.
A
Like, well, I'm starting to. Okay, I have a couple thoughts. There are. And also, I return the favor because later on, guys got hired. Cause they wrote for the man show and Crank Yankers. And if I talked to the guy who hired him, I could have tell you, yeah, that guy worked for us, but he wasn't. He didn't get shit on the air and he wasn't funny. Like, I could have stopped. They were like, I work for Crank anchors. I work for the Man Show. And they go, oh, okay. Cause I've had those. This guy worked for the Simpsons. He was the writer of the Simpsons. I go, oh, okay. And then you sit and try to write with him, and you go, oh, he's not funny. And then once you realize every writer's room has, like, 14 people, and three of them do all the jokes, and the other ones are just there fucking taking up space and eating.
C
Well, there's also a thing, I think, and this might be what helped with Mel Brooks when he was working with Richard Pryor or with Gene Wilder, Especially on, like, TV shows. I feel like there is that lightning in a bottle thing where every now and then on like, a certain season of SNL or like, certain periods of Letterman or Conan where there's all these, like, talented people that just happened to come together in that room and they all go on to do greater things. But. And at the Simpsons, there'll be eras when there's a group where all the writers know what they're doing, that they have the right director, they have the right producers, and everybody just kind of meshes. And I think that's when you get really, really great content out of it.
A
Agreed. And there's an element of a. I've always described comedy, and most art is sort of a stew. And there are times when you can take every ingredient you love the most and put it into the stew. And at some point, you take the ladle and take a little sip and you go, it's okay. And then there are times when people are like, this stew's got this and this stew's got that. And you go, I don't really like cumin that much. And they go. And then you taste it and you go, oh, that's good, good. And you can't really explain because of the ingredients, you know, so sometimes you go, we got the writer from the Simpsons. We got the writer from Letterman. We got the man show rider. We got them all. In one room. And it's like, you know what I mean? So there's an element of that when you make a comedy. Like, I couldn't explain to anyone why Napoleon Dynamite was funny. Or half the movies that are funny are funny. They just sort of are, you know, or they're not.
C
Yeah.
A
Like, and sometimes you can watch comedies and just go, everything's here. Will Ferrell's in this. You got a whole bunch of funny people. Judd Apatow wrote it, whatever. And it's. And by the way, this is funny. I'm just not laughing. I'm just not.
C
Or they're saying, like, it should work, but something about it doesn't quite.
A
It's got all the stuff I like in one pot and I'm not really enjoying it that much.
C
The other thing I found also on certain projects, like I worked as a producer's assistant at Conan for many years, and I think what on certain movies and TV shows, it's not just the writers, but what really works is when everyone in the production has some sense of comedy. Like the props guy is good at props, but he gets comedy. And the graphics guy is good at graphics, but he gets comedy. And the bookers book the right people, but they know comedy. And I think when that all comes together in a project, that really helps everything.
A
Yes, agreed. It's good. Back to this thing. It's good when the person who's doing interior design also sort of knows how to build.
C
Yeah, yeah.
A
It just makes them better at their job. And I've felt that way like a lot with people and their expertise having. Knowing comedy. Yeah. Because when you're talking to the props person who doesn't have a sense of humor, you're constantly trying to explain to them what to do and they don't really get it.
C
Yeah.
A
Which I've definitely dealt with. But so I'm like appreciating this Mel Brooks doc and Mel and his illustrious career and all that. But I'm also sort of like, he can get really schmaltzy. And also, you should know Spaceballs. I'm going to make a list of movies where, you know, defending your life is a great movie and Annie hall is a great movie and if you saw it when you were 14, you'd like it. If you saw it when you're 48, you probably appreciate it even more. But it's just good straight on through. And there's many, many other movies that are like that. There are other movies that catch people in a vulnerable age, that 14 year old age 13, where you think it's the funniest thing ever. But then if someone's older than you, like, I dated a younger woman once, and she was explaining to me that Dirty Rotten Scoundrels was the funniest movie ever made. And I was like, it is. Oh, yeah, That's a good one. You know what I mean? I'm like, wait a minute. How old are you? Oh, you were 13? Yeah, I saw it when I was 13.
C
Yeah.
A
I loved it. I go, okay. Have you seen it since? No. I go, if you sat down and watch it now, you'd not. I have to do that a lot with people. Spaceballs is right. One of those things where I was old enough when it came out that I was like, nah.
C
Oh, really? But I have to watch it again. It's been years.
A
It's not. It's not bad. But I think when you're. Okay, Fletch. Spaceballs. And there's probably Goonies. There's probably, like, a handful of movies where if you were 15, you were really into it.
C
But if you're 30, Goonies is a great example. I missed the boat on Goonies when I was younger and people rave about. I went back and watched. I was like, it was all right. It wasn't. It wasn't like three years too old. Didn't have, like.
A
You've aged out of the Goon.
B
Yeah.
C
Yep.
A
So I'll. I'll give Spaceballs a try. But it. Yeah, I think you got. I don't know what the math is for you in Spaceballs.
C
Spaceballs I probably saw.
A
I don't.
C
I don't remember when it came out, but I was born 83, and so I probably saw Spaceballs for the first time when I was. I don't know, like, early teens.
A
Perfect. Yeah, it's perfect years. Yeah, you do it with crushes, you know, that you have with the lady on tv, you know, the most beautiful in the world, the songs, you know, it's all. All that stuff. All right, so I'm watching, and so I watch. He's showing History of the World Part one or whatever. And I literally just go, I'm just gonna watch the first 10 minutes of History of the World Part 1. And I'm gonna go, what's going on with it? Like, is it funny? Like, right out of the gate? So right out of the gate, it does a 2001 dawn of Man send up. But I. I watched it twice. I was like, hold on. Are they masturbating or what's going on? We'll show it. I'll show it to you and you can, you can tell me. Years ago, an apology. Like creature inhabited the earth. They got Orson Welles, by the way, to voice it now.
C
It has been a long time since I've watched this.
A
And Chuck, you can watch. Are these ape like creatures beating off or what exactly are they. They doing? It just shows these ape like creatures from a distance and they start stood stony rap became man. This is the top of the movie. This is the first thing the audiences see. They raise their hands and they. They're like pounding their chest.
C
Yeah, the one in the background there.
A
Is and says, our forefathers. Are they dancing? Are they masturbating?
C
It looks like they're like self flagellating.
A
They're just themselves. They're pounding their groin.
C
Yeah. It looks like they're punching themselves in.
A
The nuts and then they fall over.
C
It does look like they're punching themselves in the nuts.
A
All right, so if I'm in the room.
C
Yeah.
A
I'm like, I don't. Are they master. They're masturbating.
C
You don't know what to make of it.
A
Yeah, Chuck, are they masturbating? Definitely. Okay, so the joke is.
C
Is that how you masturbate? It's a very aggressive.
D
Oh, yeah, they're standing up.
A
You see the guy. Well, let me. Let me explain something. First things first, they'll go, look, if you're just gonna have them stand there whacking off, this is a hard R. You want a hard R, Mal, or you want a PG13? I go, well, what if we soften it a little and just had them using like two hands? Like, this is a definite standards.
C
Yes.
A
We're not going lights up in this movie. You can have a hard R, but you're not gonna. Yeah, so. Okay, but here's what I'm saying. I don't know what the fuck this is. Like, this is lights up. It's not funny. It's kind of. By the way, if they're just masturbating, it's still really not funny. And then they fall over or interesting.
C
Or it's weird that they masturbated so hard that they knocked themselves out and just collapsed at the end of it.
A
Right. So I don't know what this is, is what I'm saying. But sorry, I was telling Joey and maybe he didn't get it. This is the very top. But then there's the whole caveman thing with Sid Caesar that it goes into. So sorry. I wanted it past this. And you can find it, Chuck. But the whole point is, it's like I'm watching these vignettes, like, through the eyes of a guy who writes comedy, and I'm like, this is fucking stupid. Like, this is bad. This is dumb. I don't even know. First off, I'm a little confused. I don't exactly know what that is, but I don't know what the joke is. What is early man beat off? No.
C
Yeah. I don't completely understand. I'm sure people in the comments will be like, oh, no, this is the joke. But I don't completely get what it is.
A
And also, it wasn't executed because you couldn't really do it. Like, the guy couldn't spit in his palm and start really hitting it hard because they'd go, you're just going to get a R17 or something. Like, you're not going to get the rating you want. All right, so then it goes into, like, early man caveman with Sid Caesar as the caveman. And. And they're all just shitty, vaudevillian, schmaltzy, really bad jokes. Like, sophomoric. Who the fuck wrote this kind of stuff? So, sorry, I'll play that. Play a second of that if we have it. Go back a second. So he hits the one caveman in the foot, and he starts screaming. And then so they go, oh, this is a way to sing or make sound. So then he puts a chorus together.
C
Of cave people just by injuring them.
A
By smashing their foot with a giant rock. And then he. From that moment forward, he gets a chorus together. Now you gotta find the movie. Sorry, but. And then the chorus all sings by somebody smashing their foot. And if I'm in the writers room, I'm just going, this is the first vignette. Yeah, that one makes sense.
C
That's more sense to me, though, than the opening. I feel like there's at least a.
A
Full concept of, like, super schmaltzy, slapsticky, vaudevillian shit. It's a shit concept. But. So they figure out if you smash someone in the foot, they'll scream.
C
Yeah.
A
And by screaming, we could make a chorus if we smash them in the foot at the right time. I don't know. I've been in so many rooms where people, like, pitch stuff, and I just went, I don't. Yeah. Really? Don't you think we could do better than that?
C
Yeah. Like I said, this one doesn't bother me as much as the opening, but it is. Like, I was always more of a. Like, I was more of A Monty Python fan than a Mel Brooks fan.
A
Well, the first one is bothersome because it's confusing.
C
Yes. Yeah.
A
And you never want to be, but I'm sorry. We'll play this if you got it. So this is where he mashes him in the foot. Music began long before it was formalized into notes and phrases for mankind. It began with an accident. Gunga heard the sound and liked it. Gunga begged Gawi to repeat the beautiful scream, but Gawi could not. So Gunga thought and thought, and finally he found the answer. Now, somebody wrote this, and it's Mel Brooks, and it doesn't seem like the same guy who did. Now he's got a chorus. Music was born, Hitting him in the nuts with it. Okay. It just keeps going.
C
Now, are there any vignettes in that movie that you are a fan? Because is it just uneven where it's.
A
Like 20 minutes in and it's like. It's. It's all really schmaltzy, bad borscht.
C
It is a very specific style that some people gravitate to. It was never my favorite kids. Yeah.
A
And. Or people have had brain injuries. Like, it's just. It's just shit. It's super shitty comedy. But it's. It's. It's weird because he. He's super creative and. And prolific and done tons of great stuff. And Blazing Saddles is fun. But I. It does make you wonder. It's like, what was he like? Completely left alone. And I feel like that's what you got when he was left alone. But interesting guy. Prolific guy. Went. You know, did musicals later in his career and all that. I was just trying to kind of wrap my head.
C
It.
A
I'm confused when people. And I have this with musicians.
C
Yeah.
A
I'm confused that hall and Oates does Sarah Smile and Man Eater.
C
Yes.
A
Because it's the same two guys. And if I were in that band, I was like, sarah Smile. There you go. Maneater. I'd be like, no, no, that's shit. Why are we doing this 100%? And I have no idea. That comes out of the same people.
C
Yep.
A
Six years later, we're writing Adult Education and it's like, what? No.
C
The band that's always been that way for me is Red Hot Chili Peppers. I think there's. They're very uneven to me. Some of their stuff I think is just amazing, musically wonderful songs. And then they. You listen to other stuff and it's like, how is this the same. How is this the same band?
A
I was just highlighting something that Said rhc.
C
Is that.
A
Wow. Red Hot Chili Peppers.
C
Synchronicity in there.
A
Synchronicity. Love that album. Yeah. We're police guys.
C
Yeah.
A
Okay. Yes. I was sitting, eating sushi in Malibu a week ago, and it was nothing but Red Hot Chili. They played, like, 11 Red Hot Chili. And I'm like, first off, they are the opposite of sushi.
C
Yeah.
A
This is their jerk chicken bag. Yes. They're not fucking sushi. And I happen to hate Red Hot Chili Peppers. Even though I willingly admit they have good songs, I still don't like them.
C
See, I like them, but I willingly admit they have terrible songs.
A
They have a bunch of terrible songs, but there's no less group you'd like to hear than Red Hot Chili Peppers while you're trying to enjoy yourself and relax and eat sushi. But they played, like, 11 Red Hot Chili Pepper songs, and then it was all Red Hot Chili Peppers. And then I was like. I may have said something like, do we have to. Is it all going to be Red Hot Chili Peppers in here? Because I'm fucking annoyed. And the guy went, oh, we'll change it. Whatever. And then it became all Fleetwood Mac songs, which is basically the same band. And me and that. You guys are a good band. And I never want to hear you ever again. I never want to hear another fucking Fleetwood Mac song. I don't know why it had to be the theme to everyone's life. I never signed off on it. I appreciate you. You, the Eagles, the Red Hot Chili Peppers, all fantastic. Now get the fuck out of here. I never want to hear you ever again. And by the way, but here's the good news. I've heard enough of you to live a thousand lifetimes. Yeah. Could we find somebody? Freddie Johnson or Graham Parker, John Hyatt. Go find somebody who doesn't get played, who makes good music, and then just put their music on.
C
Yeah.
A
Can we do that, or do we just have to hear more Fleetwood Mac? I don't go 8ft without hearing Fleetwood Mac. So then we do, like, 11 Red Hot Chili Pepper songs, and then we do 14 Fleetwood Mac songs. And I'm like. I don't know, just put some classical on or smooth jazz or anything. Anything. That's what goes to hear this. Anything other than this. Yeah, but, please, humanity. I don't know when the vote was taken that we had to take our life and go, look, we'll do. One third of your waking life is gonna be in public spaces. Never alone. I would never, ever, ever listen to a Red Hot by the Way I don't have to listen to a Red Hot Chili Pepper. I just order sushi and I'll hear Red Hot Chili Peppers anywhere you go.
C
In la, you don't really have a choice as to whether you want to hear them or not.
A
It's Fleetwood Mac, the Eagles and Red Hot Chili Peppers and somebody. And. And some hall and Oats and somebody said, that's going to be your adult life. Yeah, that's all we got for you. And I'm like, I don't know. How about a little Jethro Tull?
C
Yeah, they're very underplayed, too.
A
What about something that's good? How about something that's good?
C
Yeah.
A
And they're like, no, you have to hear the same shit over and over. Jethro Tull is so much fucking better than those bands. It's insane. And by the way, if you want to rock out, how about some ufo? Do we have to hear the same rock songs over and fucking over again? It's never ending. And I think it means people are stupid. But yes. And we can agree on two things. These are skilled bands with some good songs. Not all. Some who I never want to hear again. And by the way, not all. There's. They have songs that are good and then songs we don't need to hear. I couldn't get that stupid Red Hot Chili Peppers airplane song out of my head the other day, and I just could. I almost rammed a pit. I asked one of the Mexicans if I could dive on a piece of open rebar just to push it through my silence. Just a silence. Anthony Kiedis. Jesus Christ, Enough. All right? Here's another weird one. I keep hearing people giving speeches and using. I'm not going to step foot into that building. I think it was some teacher from Minnesota who was going to have his kids protest against ice or whatever. But I hear lots of people going, I'm not going to step foot. Foot into that building, or I'm not going to step foot into the Arizona or whatever. And I go, I always thought it was set foot. That's how I grew up saying set foot. I'm not going to set foot into that building. But all I hear now is, I'm not going to step foot.
C
Yeah, I think it's set. I always used to hear set foot.
A
I heard set foot, too. And it's been driving me nuts because everyone just says step foot, and I think we're screwing it up. So I literally went and looked it up this morning because I respect my audience and it Set foot.
C
It's weird that it changed it. People just changed it, latched onto it.
A
They just changed it and they fucked it up. And now there's a whole generation that has only heard man eater and step foot, and they got it all wrong. So I realized that everyone that says step foot is, like, under 40 now.
C
Does it bother you every time you hear it? A little bit.
A
Everything bothers me every time I hear it.
C
But the one that's like that for me when I grew up, if you did something, if you made a mistake, you'd say by accident. I hear people say on accident now.
A
Oh, really?
C
And I was like, every time. It just bothers me a little bit every time I hear it.
A
That means you're creating it.
C
No, it's by accident.
A
I don't have a set step thing with by and on accident. It never bothered me. But I've never thought about it. But somehow set foot gets to me, and I hear it every time. And then eventually, after hearing it only as step foot, I started to question myself. I was like, I guess I got it wrong. Why do I think it's set foot when the humanity loves the Red Hot Chili Peppers and they love Fleetwood Mac and they love hauling Oates, and who am I?
C
Well, you know, set foot is right. Cause that's what it used to be.
A
And also right. But it's been 20 years of step foot, and I've gotten other things wrong, so.
C
But you also know, because if it's the women protesting ICE in Minneapolis that are saying it, it's probably wrong. They're probably the ones who got it wrong.
A
The traditional and general preferred idiom is set foot. I'll set foot in this house, blah, blah, blah. Step foot is frequently used in causal speech is considered incorrect. Okay, can we fix this? Let's fix this, people. All right, Adam's got the news.
C
Yep.
A
We'll take a quick break, and we'll come back with that right after this. Bowl and branch. Have you guys noticed that sheets usually don't fail all at once? First, the corners won't stay put. Then the fabric is scratchier, and eventually it's time to upgrade. That's when it's time to make the switch to bowl and branch. They're made of 100% organic cotton, designed to hold their shape and stay breathable every night. They also get softer over time, and it's very noticeable. You can really tell the difference. I really don't even think about my sheets that much. I'll be honest. Until I tried bowl and branch and then I realized what I was missing all these years. It's time to invest in what you're actually making contact with at night, every night. It's bowl and Branch, right Dawson?
B
Sleep Sound with Bowl and Branch. Get 15% off your first order plus free shipping at bolandbranch.com ACS with code ACS that's Boland Branch B O L L a n d branch.com ACS code ACS to unlock 15 off exclusions apply.
A
Rosetta Stone Whether it's comedy or racing, I really love putting in the work and getting better at something. That's why I enjoy Rosetta Stone. I can fit small lessons into the day and see real improvement fast. They have 30 years experience and millions of users. Learn anytime, anywhere. Rosetta Stone fits your lifestyle with flexible on the go learning and you'll sound natural with True Accent, which gives real time feedback on pronunciation. The Lifetime membership gives you all 25 languages forever. Learn one now, pick another next year. No extra cost. It's Rosetta Stone, right Dawson?
B
Don't wait. Unlock your language learning potential now. ACS listeners can grab Rosetta Stone's lifetime membership for 50% off. That's unlimited access to 25 language courses. RosettaStone.com Adam to get started and claim your 50 off today, go to Rosetta Stone.com Adam and start learning today. February 27th and 28th. Adam Corolla's in Dallas, Texas. Two shows Friday, two shows Saturday at Hyenas Comedy Club. Don't miss Adam Corolla in Dallas, Texas at the end of this month. Get your tickets now@adamcarolla.com all right, Adam.
A
Yenzer has the news.
C
Yeah, we got some some infighting among the Democrats over the homelessness in California. Barack Obama. He was on a podcast this week. He took a thinly veiled jab at California Governor Gavin Newsom over the homeless atrocity in Los Angeles. During a conversation with Brian Tyler Cohen, Obama explained we should recognize that the average person doesn't want to have to navigate around a tent city in the middle of downtown. We have his comments here.
E
The same would be true, let's say, here in Los Angeles around the homeless issue. I think morally, ethically speaking, it is an atrocity that in a country this wealthy, we have people just on the streets and we should have a we should insist on policies that recognize their full humanity, people who are houseless and be able to provide them the help and resources that they need. But we should also recognize that the average person doesn't want to have to navigate around a tent city in the middle of downtown. And that we're not going to be able to build a working majority and support for the resources that we need to help folks like that, whether it's drug treatment or temporary housing or what have you, we're not going to be able to generate support for it if we simply say, you know what, it's not their fault. And so they should be able to do whatever they want because that's a losing political strategy.
A
He's a skilled word salad guy.
C
Yeah.
A
So AOC and Kamala Harris are dumb word salad people. Where you see. So it's like there are no actual warlocks. There's clumsy magicians and skilled magicians, but no one's actually magical.
C
Yeah.
A
So the really skilled ones make you think they're warlocks.
C
Yeah.
A
And he's a skilled one. They don't do anything and they don't possess any power, but they're skilled.
C
Yeah.
A
So he's a warlock of word salad. He's a word salad warlock where AOC and Kamala just got one of those home magic kits that they bought the weekend before and are clumsily trying to fumble through.
C
They're like pulling words out of a hat.
A
They're word salad. But it's not working. You know what I mean? But they're both talking about nothing all the time. He's just skillfully talking about nothing. So he's a word salad warlock. And these, they're 12 year olds who got Marshall Brodin's kit from online and is practicing magic at home using rubber bands.
C
Cause you can tell when Kamala and AOC do it. They don't actually understand what they're obfuscating. They're confused from the start. He knows what he's obfuscating about.
A
Right. Except for nothing ever happens and he'll never go to a place who interviews him to go, all right, what's the plan? You keep talking, but I don't know what the plan is.
C
And like in this clip, he dances around what the Democrats and Newsom, especially in California when it comes to homelessness, they're aware that there's this element of it that is drug addicts and mentally ill people and people that are just accepting this sedentary lifestyle.
A
It's all drug addicts, it's all mentally ill people.
C
But then they try to present it as. It's these down on their luck, hard working people that just wound up falling and they try to obfuscate that.
A
They're, what chance are you gonna have of solving a Problem. If you can't identify the problem, it could be a transmission issue. It could be a roofing issue. Yeah, what are the. You know, if you go, I got a roof. I got a leaky roof. Well, those shingles are haunted. We have to come together and we have to agree that no shingle's illegal and that shingles need to be treated with dignity and respect. And I for one, am gonna start a blue ribbon shingle panel where we discuss shingles having a seat at the table. Oh, get up there with the fucking Henry's patch and fix this shit or shut up. Cuz all you guys do is talk. And no patching ever happens. So there's a couple things he calls them unhoused or houseless. Houseless.
C
They keep changing out.
A
I got a good. I got a great idea. Yeah, you got five houses, bitch, give them one. I'll get four people off the street. I'll get four families off the street because these are hardworking folks. But the mill shut down or the plant shut down and now they're out of work and it's a husband and wife with two kids who got pushed down on the street because their landlord raised their rent. Why don't you give them one of your five houses and then you could then the. How now you don't do it because A, you don't give a shit, but B, you don't want junkies destroying your house. But if it's just a person that doesn't have a house and you got a whole bunch of houses, then we could solve this problem lickety split. Everyone who had more than one house could give them a house. Yeah, but not me. I own more than one house. But I don't call them houseless. I call them junkies.
C
Yeah.
A
So I don't need to give them a house. And it'd be the same with reparations. You guys could all give them some of your money.
C
Oh, absolutely.
A
And then we could take care of it. You give them one of your houses and give them some of your money. I don't believe in either one of them, so I'm not doing either one of those things.
C
And going back to the word salad thing, we both laughed at the word houseless. They've changed that term so many times, they do nothing to fix the problem. First it was homeless, Then it was persons experiencing homelessness, then it was unhoused person. And how is houseless different than homeless? You're just switching the words. They're gonna call them outside Americans next or something.
A
Never camping Americans Stray citizens. They've never somehow have some sort of weird problem with labeling. And everybody who comes across the border is a proud, hardworking person who's looking for a better life for them and their family. And it's like, that's some of them. And then there's drug dealers and human smugglers and folks who. Then there's there's terrorists. Like there's a whole bunch of different kinds of people who come across the border. So I don't know why everybody, everyone who lives outside is a, is a junkie who has a mental issue or they have a mental issue and they're junkie. And you have to nobilize this thing. They all do it. I've no, I have no idea. But let me just explain something. If you. When you see somebody. Yeah, that's right. The California school board woman was mad about the term homeless. She does not like that. She likes unhoused. I forgot. Super important, super important distinction. And I gotta play her just cause it's all time. And by the way, in my pantheon of chick think, this is what I'm talking about when I'm talking about chick think.
C
I am personally offended by what was presented.
A
Thank you, chick thinker.
C
On so many different levels.
A
So many, so many. Oh, man.
C
One thing I would like to see updated is the word homeless to unhoused.
A
All right, problem solved. There we go. All right, you can pause it. Okay. 100% chick. Thanks. Yeah. Does nothing. All talk satiates, by the way. When they talk, they satiate and then they do nothing. Okay, let me explain something. When you see somebody and they come pulling up or you're just walking your dog and you see a guy at a stop sign in his car, and the car is filled, the dashboard is filled with newspapers and fast food wrappings and the car looks like it hasn't been washed in six years and the bumper's dragging, you look at it and you go, that guy's fucked up. That guy's a loser. And then someone would go, how do you know? Maybe he lives in a beautiful architectural wonder with, you know, German engineered cabinets and full extension accuride ball bearing drawers. And you go, I'll bet that guy's fucking apartment is a shit show. And there's nobody who thinks that guy's apartment isn't a shit show. We all know that guy's apartmentship. Now how do we know? I don't know where he's employed. I don't know what his sign is. I don't know what his education is. All I do is glance at his car for three Mississippi while he's parked at that stop sign and then drives off and go, that fucking guy's fucked up.
C
You know who he is? Okay.
A
When you go to a town and there's homeless people flopped out everywhere, your town is fucked up.
C
Yeah.
A
You're not running your town right. And you can go, well, we have all these other. We have all these other things for seniors and after school, you can tell me all you want, and we're going to do a whole thing where we're going to get kids meals. I go, your town's a mess. You're not running your town right. And you can say, whatever. We're the first to implement this green new bill or to put a carbon capture. Tell me anything you want. There's people dying and expiring the street. Your town is not run right. Conversely, if I go to a town where there's no homeless, I go, oh, their town is run right. So you can't tell me you're doing a good job in your town and have homeless folks sprawled out everywhere on the street.
C
Yeah. And so that's what Newsom's trying to claim now.
A
I wouldn't step foot in this town.
C
This town is the microwave that you left the burrito explode in.
A
That's how it's right.
C
At his State of the State address at the Capitol last month, Newsom celebrated a statewide drop in homelessness. However, Los Angeles were not here for false hopes.
A
By the way, this is like saying, I dated a girl that had 100 zits on her face at all times, and now she has 81 zits on her face.
C
Took care of it. She's beautiful now.
A
Well, I could see celebrate the drop. 14% drop in zits. Or you could go, your girlfriend has 80 zits on her face.
C
Yep.
A
Okay.
C
And California spent more than $24 billion on homeless programs during Newsom's time. And I think all we've done is changed homeless to unhoused person.
A
It cost 24 billion to get people to say unhoused.
C
Yeah. And then in this Obama interview on this podcast, there was also another interesting moment that went kind of viral. Other than politics, Obama also seemed to say that he believes al aliens are real, but he hasn't seen them. We have this clip here.
A
Are aliens real?
E
They're real, but I haven't seen them. And they're not being kept in.
A
What is it, Area 51.
E
Area 51. There's no underground facility. Unless there's this enormous conspiracy and they hid it from the President of the United States.
A
What was the first question you wanted answered when you became president?
E
Where are the aliens?
A
Where are the aliens?
C
It's funny, you just said the soft on Democrats questions on the podcast. He just said, I think aliens are real. And then the guy doesn't ask even one follow up question.
A
The Deep Leg Cross. I'm going to start, let's see, Jules Dash, that's my nom de plume, because Jules Dash is perfect. Because you don't know if it's a man or a woman. But I'm going to start a podcast called the Deep Leg Cross with Jules Dash. And I'll get all of the hard left. I'll get Hillary Clinton, AOC will come in there. Obama, I'll get Michelle Obama, I'll get Gavin Newsom. Because none of them will ever go on a podcast where the guy asks real questions. But they will go on the Deep Leg Cross with Jules Dash.
C
The softest questions in the podcast.
A
No, I'll ambush him once I get them. Oh, oh.
C
So it's a trick. I like that.
A
It's a trick.
C
I see.
A
I like that it's a trick to get Hillary Clinton and ask her all about Epstein.
C
In the middle of the interview, you uncross your legs and spring it and they're like, wow, what's happening?
A
Yeah, they know.
C
That's when the gig is up, is when your legs come uncrossed.
A
Right. And I sit like Trump. I make the diamond out of my two hands and I put them. I accentuate my nut sack. The power pose. That's right. And I pull out some like Oakley Blade sunglasses and I put them on top of my trucker's hat. I go, okay, Yep. Yeah.
C
What do you make of the aliens? Are you a believer in aliens or do you have any thoughts on him kind of saying they're real, but he hasn't seen them?
A
I'll tell you how I'm wired. I am wired this way. I was driving here today, having people almost cut me off. I'm literally 10 freeway, 405 freeway and 101 freeway, the most traveled freeways in the world with the worst drivers in the world. And people all sort of just cutting in front of people, like avoiding accidents all the time. And I just think, could everyone just use their blinker? Could they just use your blinker? It's so doable. It's on every car. And if they just put it up on the freeway signs and made a campaign out of it, like, use your blinker. Come on, use it or you'll be sighted. Like if you're changing lanes and you're not using your blinker, you're gonna get a ticket. And we do it the same way we do with water conservation. We're in a drought zone. Don't hose your driveway down. Could people use their blinker? And what a utopia. And then we could avoid so many accidents and deaths and injury. But they'll never do it and no one will ever tell them to do it. And it's not part of. It's always slow for the cone zone or click it or ticket, but no one will just put it do it. You know, just use your blinker. Like I would show up to a city council go. Unless you guys can talk about homeless, unhoused housed, unhoused neighbors. How about the blinker? How about the fucking blinker? There's people in action. So we could just do it. We could just put it up on sign and we could do a whole thing going. You are going to get a ticket. If A cop is 100 yards behind you on the 101 and you move lanes and you did not signal, you are getting a ticket and just do it. Do it in fucking Spanish and just do it. And we'll never do it. And I drive listening to Fleetwood Mac and upset that we could do it, but we don't. But when it comes to aliens, I'm powerless. I have no.
C
I was waiting to see how it came back.
A
There's nothing I can do. They're there or they aren't there. They arrive, they don't arrive. I don't involve myself because I have no dominion as long as they use.
C
Their blinker as their land.
A
That's right.
C
That one pisses me off so much too, because I feel like the blinker is the thing. Not using it. You're going out of your way to be lazy when you're not using it. It's such an easy thing to do. And for me it's like muscle memory. It's like I just do it. I don't even think about it.
A
I agree, but people are totally out of it and need to be scared into it. And there's good news. We have this system of freeway signs and you're driving underneath it, but it's just. And you could just say it.
C
It's like other breaking laws.
A
You say lazy, but. And it is. It is lazy, but it's more out of it. Like I think people are sort of half brain dead and don't even really know what they're doing. Anymore. They're just sort of going through life in a sort of semi zombie like state. And I'm just saying they need to be reminded like constantly. Like if you just put that.
C
That's a good idea.
A
One of those freeway signs. Use your blinker. 80% of more people would use their blinker because they just.
C
That, that, that does make sense that they're out of it. Because what I always think about it, like I say is like other traffic violations, like if speeding, I get that there's a motivation to do that. I want to get there faster. Or cutting someone off, it's like, oh, I wanted to get there. It's rude, but. But not using the blinker is just. There's no motivation for it other than you're just spaced out or don't care.
A
It's your microwave. It's not my home microwave. It's the work microwave. Why should I screw the top back on the salt? I don't care. I'm done with it. I mean, I'm changing lanes. What are you. Why do you need to know? By the way. Sorry, go ahead.
C
We got Hillary Clinton in the news. Also, Hillary Clinton says migration went too far and needs to be fixed in a humane way. While in Germany for the Munich security Conference, Hillary Clinton participated in a panel.
A
Immigration, sorry, or migration.
C
I think it's another word game that they play. I think they call it migration more in Europe than we call it immigration here. I think they call it migration, like.
A
Caribou looking for land.
C
Great migration.
A
Well, they call it. Call the guys running them coyotes. So maybe they are caribou or deer.
C
I'm picturing now like a caravan of Mexico, Mexicans, and then there's like flamingos and wildebeest, everything just running all beside them.
A
It's a funny Pixar romp you're talking about.
C
Exactly.
A
The coyotes.
C
During the panel, Clinton appeared to take a stronger approach to her previous stance on border security. She said there is a legitimate reason to have a debate about things like migration. It went too far. It's been disruptive and destabilizing. It needs to be fixed in a humane way with secure borders that don't torture and kill people. I don't know that we're doing that and how we're going to have a strong family structure because it is at the base of civilization.
A
Right? So she's another chick. Think, say whatever. Nothing comes out the other end person. So what these people do, it's kind of interesting. It's kind of interesting because I realize the kind of Builder, construction, part of me, along with the way people used to be if they were worked on farms or did mining or logging or something like that, they do a thing where it's pretty much like when you build, you come into the bathroom and you go, geez, the floor's kind of flexy. And then they go, all right, what's the problem? And you go, well, let me check it out. And then you go, looks like the toilet's been leaking, like slowly, like over years, you know. And then you go, well, what are we gonna do? Well, the wax ring is all decomposed. They used to call them Johnny rings. Don't know why, but anyway, Johnny cat. Huh? Johnny cat is kitty litter. And the wax ring underneath the commode is called a Johnny ring. Does Johnny mean the john?
C
I think it. Yeah, it's probably a reference to the john for the toilet. Yeah, or the bathroom.
A
But the john is also the guy who's out soliciting a prostitute too. So where did that.
C
He's got a different Johnny rig. He has to get that checked at the doctor.
A
So what I'm saying is, I've dealt with this before. You go, the floor's like flexing. And then somebody finds out that the toilet's been seeping, you know, leaking for five years. And then the customer comes in and goes, what's the fix? How much is it going to cost? Is it going to be expensive? Is it going to take a long time? And then what I would say to them is, we're going to have to bust out. We got to move the toilet, we have to bust out all the tile. And then we got to bust out the mortar bed or the cement board it was placed on. And then we're going to have to pull up the subflooring, three quarter ply, one inch ply, osb, whatever. And it's because that's all saturated and fucked up. And then some of your joists may be fucked up from all the years of this seeping on. So we're going to have to either replace some of those joists or like sister onto some of those joists. And then once we get that all taken care of, we're going to have to replace the subflooring, put the hardie back or cement board back on it, and then retile it and grout it and seal it. And they go, I want to fix this problem, but I don't want to do that. And I go, that's it.
C
That's how you fix the problem.
A
That's all we got, you know, they go, well, isn't there? Listen, I agree that people need sturdy bathroom floors and that no toilet should leak and that no Johnny Wax Ring should be compromised, but I don't want to do this. And I'm like, and it's going to cost $12,000. And they go, well, can we Listen, here's what I know. I want this floor fixed. I don't wanna do this. And that's all I know. And it's like, hey, bitch, this is the fix.
C
Yes.
A
You don't want the fix. Yes. You want a secure border that treats people humanely. And every Democrat is like, yeah, the 15 million illegals in here, they should have to be processed legally, but we have to do it in a humane and safe way. All right? My work is done. The same thing done with the subfloor. No, your work is not done. We gotta bust tile out. You're like, I don't want to bust the tile out. That's the only way to fix this problem. We have to go into the neighborhoods, have to go get these. Oh, you're against that? Okay, yeah. What's your plan? What's your plan for fixing this floor in this bathroom that doesn't involve taking all the tile out and demoing it and doing everything? I just said, what is your plan? And the answer, what they would give you is they'd go, I'm not an architect, I'm not an engineer, and I'm not a carpenter. Yeah, but there's gotta be a better way. And my answer is there's no fucking other way. Yeah, that's that. That's that. Well.
C
And the word salad she's playing with here is similar to what Obama's doing with homelessness is that the Democrats, they know they're underwater on these issues. And none of these are like, extreme positions, like ending, you know, solving the homelessness problem, securing the border. They're popular issues. And it seems like they want to pay lip service to, like, oh, no, we want to do something about that. But like, you're saying they don't actually want to take the steps that it takes to fix any of those things.
A
Well, it's funny. It's like, voter ID stuff is the greatest. But listen, I'm going to take it a step further with voter id, people do this thing all the time where they go, you can't get on an airplane and you can't check into your. Whatever. I was talking to somebody yesterday. It's like, they go, I need to find my passport. I go, what do you need your passport? I go, I tried to check into a hotel last week and use my license, but my license was expired. By the way, can we cut those people a little bit of slack? It's a picture of you. It's a picture of you with a date on it. That's a week ago, no longer.
C
You're not this same guy from a month ago?
A
This person?
C
Yeah.
A
You're not this. Eye color, brown. Height, 6 foot, weight 200. This is not you.
C
You were him from December 2022 to December 2025. But now I'm not sure anymore.
A
I work at the fucking Radisson in Irvine. I'm just trying to figure out if you are you.
C
Yeah.
A
And because this thing's three days expired, you are not you. Now, it's a Friday. On Tuesday, this was you.
C
Yeah.
A
Tuesday. I would look at a picture of you. I look at a picture of you and I'd hold it up and I'd go, well, that seems like you, but now it's Friday. Yep. And I would argue it's still me. And by the way, I'm not renting a semi trailer with an 18 wheeler from you. I'm going up in a room in a Radisson. You just need to know it's me. We're not using. I may use it to cut. Cut up a little coke later, but that's not your business. But I'm not using this driver's license. I get it. Maybe if you're renting a car. Yeah, maybe if you're renting a piece of farming equipment or something. I'm just going up to the second floor to take a nap. This is you're trying to figure out. This is me. Whether it's the airport or whether it's the Radisson. Yeah, it's expired, by the way. I could never do any of these jobs because they'd hold the thing up and I'd go, it's expired. And they'd go, yeah. And I'd go, yeah, no big deal. What do I care? I'm gonna get fired. Who's gonna know about this? But it's homes.com. some might say homes.com is the best home shopping site. Maybe homes.com super comprehensive and transparent agent directory. Or Maybe it's that homes.com is the only site that always directly connects you with the listing agent who knows the home the best. Perhaps, just Perhaps, it's because homes.com has the most in depth neighborhood content of any home shopping site that's extensively researched to highlight the personality of of each neighborhood. Homes.com goes above and beyond to bring home shoppers the in depth info they need to find the right home. Homes.com. that's homes.com. we've done your homework.
D
We're celebrating Black History Month with our free curated collection of black entertainment. No ifs, ands or buts about catch award winning films like Dreamgirls, Monster's Ball and Selma.
C
We must make a massive demonstration.
D
Iconic hits like School Days and Set It Off. Plus full seasons of shows like Tyler Perry's Sistas and Power. I got you it star studded brilliant black entertainment. And it's all free. It's getting good this month and always on Pluto tv Stream now pay never.
A
So here's I'm gonna take it a step further. Everyone goes, well you need it. You know, you need to buy cigarettes, you need it to buy this. Buy alcohol, buy. First off, you need it. You need it for everything. All the time. 100%. I can't even tell you the amount of times I show my ID when I travel. Oh yeah, by the way. Over stuff you never even thought of. Oh yeah, like you're going to go do Fox walk into the Fox buildings. Like yeah. Or you're going to go Sirius XM. It's good A. It's 100% ID 100% of the time.
C
And there are no immigrants or black people at these places. Right. Cause they don't have id. They can't get in there.
A
So here I'll take it a step further. If you don't possess an ID in these modern times, you are not participating in our society. You are not paying taxes, you're not creating jobs, you're not paying insurance and medical and dental. You don't have employees, you don't have feed into a 401k. You're not doing anything. If you do not have a license, you are essentially or an id. You're essentially living underground. And thus I don't want you to vote. I don't want you making policy on schools or on taxes or on infrastructure. If you are not participating in any of it in any meaningful way and you pay no taxes, then fuck you. I don't want you to vote. You don't need to vote. We don't need your vote. Your vote is more free shit for you. That's all. All it is because you're not paying into the system. So not only is it a thing where it's like you're not creating anything, you're actually voting for the free stuff. You're like, oh, how's this person with no ID gonna vote on the millionaire tax?
C
Yeah.
A
Oh, fucking pay up.
C
Just. That's the selfish motive.
A
Yes. You're fucking poor. You're not contributing. You're not paying any taxes. I know how you're going to vote on everything. It's going to be more free shit for you. So no. And we do this thing where I go, prisoners aren't allowed to vote. And I go, yeah, because they're not part of our society. They're detrimental to our society. And I don't know what the legal is, but we all basically agree that if you are a purse snatcher and robbing homes and punching grandmas and you're incarcerated, we don't need your vote. And the answer is, why not? They're still American citizens. They're human beings. Why shouldn't they vote? Because they're not helping our society and I don't want their vote. Okay? I'm doing the same thing with people who don't get an id. You're not part of our society. Fuck you. You don't get to vote.
C
Yeah.
A
And by the way, it's not gonna hurt society if you who are selling oranges by the side of a freeway for cash and pocketing all the the money is not voting. Yeah.
C
And they. Well, what always blows my mind is the arguments the Democrats still try to come up with to block voter id. Like their latest one I've heard is where they say. They try to say that women who change their last name once they get married, they're not like, that's never been resolved or that's gonna keep millions of women from voting. They just invent these scenarios.
A
Well, they do a fun. They do a fun math. They go, there is 175 million women in this country and there's 100 million of voting age. And 70% of them have gotten married. So that's 70 million people. Yeah, it's 70 billion or nobody.
C
They like the hyperbole that you don't like. They like to use hyperbole to just make these grand exaggerations.
A
Yeah. And they know it. No, what they did is they worked at Jim Crow 2.0 or Biden. You select to say Jim Eagle. Does anyone ever fucking wince and just go, shut the fuck up. Who wrote that?
C
It's just insane.
A
I needed to be in the room for the Mel Brooks History of the World Part 1 and Jim Eagle, because I would have been whatever writer pitched that. Bad. Now, different next. What's next? What else you got? So they tried to pitch the whole black thing for a long time, which is super insulting to black people, but they rode that for a long time. But then the whole Atlanta thing and the Georgia thing didn't work out after. Oh, they moved the All Star game. Oh, okay, good. How? Oh, yeah, I forgot about that homeless, houseless move. The All Star Game, it fixes every problem, doesn't it? So they did all that. It didn't really work. And then the polling started coming in and it was like, black people are like 71% on this. So they were like, fuck it, let's shift to women. Because what they have to do is they basically are. They're like a four square game. They go, all right, one square we got women on one square we got blacks, and in one square we got the LGBT whatever community. And then one square we have a sort of nebulous immigrant community. Proudly means Mexican, but could mean anyone from anywhere. And we'll just keep bouncing the ball back and forth. And right now we'll claim black with voter id, but that doesn't work. So bounce it over to the woman's corner, and then we'll claim it's against women. And if that doesn't work, we'll bounce it over to the gay corner and we'll say it attacks the gay community. And if that doesn't work, we'll bounce it over to the Mexican corner and we'll say that it attacks immigrants. And then you just rinse and repeat. We'll just keep saying, here's what we're doing for this community, and if he ever runs out of momentum for one group, we'll just shift it to the other group. So they shifted voter ID. It was 15 years of black, and now it's women. Yeah, well, it's women and black, but they basically shifted to black. Yeah, it's basically they toggle in between racism. It's all racism talk. And at some point it becomes oligarchy, bring down the billionaires talk. And then that wears out, Then it shifts back to racism. So you'll hear they'll dry up for a little while.
C
Oh, and they find games to play with that on every issue. Like the Hillary Clinton thing where she's now speaking strong and oh, we need to secure the border. Her previous policy. She used to criticize the Trump administration for saying that their policy separates children from their families. But they do that game there where if you keep the families together and deport them, they say, oh, they're deporting children. If you keep one parent here. Or deport the parent and take the kid with somebody else. Then they say they're separating children. So they just don't want you to solve the problem either way.
A
Yeah. So it seems like the process. Complainers. Basically just complainers. I want to know what the answer is. They don't provide the answer. They complain. The gripe.
C
So there was an ESPN vet covering the olympics. She called J.D. vance a demon who made her feel ill at the hockey match because she simply saw him there.
A
ESPN vet.
C
Yes. Sarah Spain, a veteran reporter for a broadcaster for espn. Her name's Sarah Spain.
A
So she still works for espn.
C
She still works for espn, in a recent Good Game podcast, is now making the rounds on conservative media. She said she sat near vance at a U.S. women's hockey match at the Winter Olympics and got satanic vibes. She recounted his appearance with Secretary of State Marco Rubio as a lowlight of the Milan Cortina Games. When I see J.D. vance's eyeliner face, I literally feel ill, she said. I feel like I just looked at a demon, like the devil, and I don't even believe in that.
A
What I. You know. Anyway. Too many chicks. Yeah. Too many positions with too many microphones. And that's why we have all this nutty feeling.
C
Yeah.
A
All the time. Oh, she's the one. I. Yep. There's also this weird fantasy in it. I think it's female driven in that they have to ascribe stuff to stuff. Like, it's kind of back to the automotive analogy. Like, when somebody cuts somebody off, I like it. But my girlfriend, when somebody cuts me off and people cut me off pretty hard sometimes, but I'm always aware of what's going on when I'm driving. And I never get in accidents because I'm aware of what's going on. And I drive. When I drive race cars, you drive in a pile of cars going at a fast rate where they actually. Like. I've done races like the Long Beach Grand Prix and stuff, where you're going down shoreline and the guy behind you is touching you. He's not three feet away. He's making, like, contact with you. And you're going into the first turn, three wide. Like, there's a guy right to your right, right to your left. And I have a comfort level with being close to people, but I'm also aware of what they're doing. And people will cut me off. And I'll see it. Like, I'll see it. I'll stop and my girlfriend will reach across and honk and go like, fuck that guy, you know? But he doesn't know where he is. He's not doing it to me. He's not conscious of me. He's just driving, looking at his fucking phone. And there's a thing with women where they have to kind of turn everything. It's like my cat thinks it's a person. Look at him. He knows what he's. He knows. He's got a sense of humor too, that cat, too. He knows what he's doing. No, he doesn't. Doesn't. He doesn't. But you create that in him. And there's a version of that with the cat that's good for the cat because he gets people food.
C
Yeah.
A
And then there's the J.D. vance.
C
Yep.
A
He's evil.
C
He's evil.
A
Right, right.
C
Spiritual woo stuff.
A
And it's like, what's. What's Donald Trump about? He likes pain. Yeah. He likes to torture those who don't have enough.
C
Yes.
A
You know, it's like. So you think he's just like the Marquis de Sade? He just enjoys torturing poor. He hates poor people, wants to take it out on him. It's like, okay, he's an evil warlock. Yes, I see. Is everything a Disney movie for you or can you just go, this guy's a family oriented guy who worked hard, who grew up with nothing, and now he has thoughts about helping this nation that are different than your thoughts. Although your thoughts are no thoughts. No one's illegal and there are no borders. And you're with John Lennon. You're imagining a world that doesn't exist. He's actually applying laws, but he's evil and satanic, which is super chick thinky is what I'm saying.
C
It even goes back to the chick. Think of horoscopes and stuff like that. This sort of weird abstract, spiritual woo woo stuff. And she even says, I felt like I was sitting next to Satan or a demon. And I don't even believe in that. It's. They just kind of bring it in and make it up on their own. What their spiritual world is also.
A
It's like, I don't know how the real Satan works. And you're probably religious or more religious than I am. I don't think the real Satan is that interested in lowering taxes and school choice. I feel like he's got some other things up his sleeve. Am I right?
C
Yes.
A
Because if it's just lowering corporate taxes and giving kids vouchers for school choice, then maybe Satan got a couple of points.
C
Well. And I think he's more subtle than, you know, she's saying like, oh, the eyeliner. And they picture Satan as just, you know, he's going to come with a red tail and a pitchfork announcing that he's. He's Satan and he's.
A
That's not how it works.
C
Let's see here the.
A
He comes disguised as a publicist.
C
I don't know if you've been following the Epstein stuff. The Justice Department has sent Congress a list of names who appear in the Jeffrey Epstein files and defends the redactions in a six page letter. The letter, addressed to the leaders of the Senate and House Judiciary Committee, says the names show up in a wide variety of contexts ranging from people who emailed directly with Epstein or Maxwell to those who never interacted with them but were mentioned in documents like media reports.
A
Can we do this with the Epstein file and the trench of 3 million pages released? Let's do this. Let's come up with a list of notable Hollywood types and politicians who aren't on the list. Because it'll be much faster that way. So there's nine people that aren't listed and every single one of them we got Bea Arthur not on the list. And then.
C
Wait, let me check.
A
No, there's no Bea Arthur or Ben Vereen. I'm going alphabetically. Yes. Abe Vagoda is where I'm gonna start.
C
Oh, okay.
A
And I'm gonna list the nine things who aren't on the list and then you can just assume everyone else is on the list.
C
Yes. I feel like when Congress is like asking about like whose name is in this or whose name to redact, they're just sitting in Congress going, raise your hand if you want your name redacted. Cause they're all in with emails. And the thing is, I think some people did obviously do nefarious things with Epstein, but he was just this connected guy where some of these people were on his plane and didn't do anything or some people had an email with him and it's bad that they're covering this all up. But you were mentioning celebrities. These are some of the names that have come up in it. Michael Jackson, Marilyn Monroe who died before Epstein was ever born. Elvis Presley and Janis Joplin are all names that have been like mentioned in the Epstein files.
A
Huh. I, yeah. And again, like being named. And also I've said a million times the allure of private flying private is. So it's the siren song.
C
Yeah.
A
Cause us schleps, our bums are schlepping through the Airport, you know, having to throw our waters away before we go through the thing and take our shoes off. And getting the stink eye from everyone at TSA and putting our bags through some sort of template. Trying to mash your bag. And flying private is like. The best part is no security.
C
Yeah.
A
You pull in to, you know, Millionaire. Good name.
C
Yes.
A
And you just walk in and someone, like, hands you a champagne glass and you just plop down and you're like, where's the plane? Oh, they'll take your bags.
C
There's no tsa. You just like walk right out on the tarmac. Yeah. It's amazing.
A
You literally just walk out and your bags will follow you. And when you're driving there, it's like, when are we leaving? We're leaving when you get here is when we're leaving. It's the non security. It's the not having to the super weird sort of quasi depressing security thing where it's like, I'm leaving Florida last week and it's like, do you guys have, you know. Oh, God. Do you have clear here? No, we know this airport doesn't have clear. Oh, you gotta get into that line, you know, And I'm like, oh, that's a long line. We don't have clear. And it's like, it's that versus just walking on.
C
And with those TSA and the clear, they always invent one more exclusive thing that I don't have. It's like, if I get this, then it's like, oh, but what's that line? Oh, that's the super exclusive of clear world access lines.
A
Your hunting license, sir. Also, it's always a. It's always something different. It's like you're. I'm pulling my ID out. We don't need the id.
C
Okay, well, everyone needs the id Every single time. Yeah, it's.
A
It's literally anything but the same.
C
Yes. Do I need my laptop? No, no, leave your laptop in, but take off your shoes. No, no, leave your shoes on, but take your belt off. No, it all says. It's just whatever you do is wrong.
A
Yes. And listen, they're. There are plenty of these people who. It's sort of. It's strip clubs. If you look at the wa. If you look at the clock on the wall in a strip club, it's like 25 minutes fast because they close at 2. But everyone who works there wants to get the fuck out of there. So they set it forward and they go, last call. And they're like, but if you this before everyone had A phone I would see, and I'd go, is it two already? And they're like, no, it's 1:30. They're moving you out of here.
C
Yeah.
A
And I felt that way at the airport. The bowl, they don't want to deal with the bowl. You get the everything in your backpack. Everything. Glasses, keys, phone, earbuds. And I'm like, it's on the move. Yes.
C
And they're very demanding. They're not like, we know. It's different each time. It's. No, this is how you do it here.
A
Right, right. And I end up. I want the bowl.
C
Yes.
A
I don't get the bowl. And you'll see the balls, like, stacked up in the distance. I go, is there some sort of coyote who could run me a ball over here? And it's like, sir, in the back. Put it all in the back. And then I end up in a panic, taking all the glasses and the sunglasses and the earbuds and the keys. I mash them. I just throw them all in, and then at some point, I get to the other side, and I literally have to take everything out of my backpack. Because then there's that moment. Oh, shit, the earbuds. Where'd I put the.
C
Yes.
A
Are they in. Are they in a different pocket of the back? Too many pack pockets.
C
Did it slide down beneath everything else that's in here?
A
Yes. Yes. They hide that bowl. They steal that bowl.
C
The worst is when you see the. The stack of bowls, and there's like, three left.
A
Right.
C
And you want. And you see the person in front of you take it, and like, no. If it gets down to zero, I'm gonna have to wait until the TSA agent goes and brings the new stack of bowls.
A
The bowl's in the wrong shape. It needs to be oblong. Once I got that iPhone 19, it's not fitting in the bowl. Right. It dominates the bowl. So, yes. Flying private, you just walk right in.
C
Yeah. And you think that's what enticed everyone to associate with Jeffrey Epstein.
A
I am telling you, when somebody has a private plane, you immediately suck up to them. I'm not kidding. Mark Gerrigos, attorney, has a private plane. I love Mark Garrigas. He flies us all the time. It's the best. I've even flown his plane without him. Like, it's that good. And you never, ever offend anyone with a private jet because you are screwing yourself. You do not want to get off that list.
C
Yeah.
A
And thus, everybody flew his private jet because it's so much better.
C
Yeah.
A
Then and then also if you're Bill Clinton, I mean, you get recognized or whatever. And also it's like, well, Bill Clinton can get his own private jet. Yeah. It's 50 grand to get from LA to Chicago on a private jet.
C
Yeah.
A
Like, it is literally 50 grand.
C
Yeah.
A
It ain't. It ain't cheap. It ain't. It ain't cheap. Even when you do like, well, what if we got a jet to go to, you know, Chicago and. And we. But we got 11 people. We could. We could split it up. Everyone's got to pay $5,700. It's like you go, ah, fuck that.
C
Yeah.
A
Right?
C
If we have time for one quick video here. This comes out of Chicago.
A
Chicago. There was a student said Chicago.
C
There was a student in school. He was. There was an anti ICE protest in the school and one student decided to walk around with a sign that said I love ice. And he was then assaulted by an obese student. It's very funny.
A
We support ICE and law enforcement. I support ice. I don't know what's crazy about this.
C
Yeah, I'm going to punch you.
A
You're gonna punch me?
C
Yes.
A
And you're gonna get in trouble for that. Chill out, bro. I stand for my beliefs. I'm gonna peacefully stand here and support my beliefs. I support ICE and law enforcement. That's against school code. No swearing in the school. That's so great.
C
They got the whole cops. Yeah, the police and the crossing guards and law enforcement.
A
Am I allowed to stay here? Fat nerd. Yeah, I'm allowed to have this sign too, like everyone else.
C
Okay.
A
I just stand for my beliefs, you.
C
Know, like, this is okay, but man.
A
I like the little.
C
The little clap punch first. Like he's like a cartoon character.
A
Yes.
C
And that punch was probably the most cardio he's had in a while. Was just throwing that one swing.
A
Yeah. Yeah. He definitely. He carb loaded on pop Tarts. Yeah, he did like a Popeye thing where he punched his other hand first. Yes, Pop. But I do appreciate he went with a gut punch and an uppercut. Like a Buster Douglas type of Razor Ruddock type uppercut. Most guys just go with a straight right. But he did the thing. He slapped his other hand.
C
He announced his punch first, too. That's.
A
He did. Punches are so much less effective when you announce yes. You know what I mean?
C
Give him some time to prepare.
A
They're always best, you know, they're like a. They're like revenge dish served cold. You shouldn't see it coming.
C
Yes.
A
Yeah. You don't want to ride off the griddle punch. You'll be able to protect yourself.
C
And he does have that like little effeminate thing in his voice, like all the. Whenever they tape the people protesting ice that little sort of condescending.
A
I've always known that nerds were much more rageful and women are much more rageful than men. And everyone thinks men are the bad ones or at least the straight men or the sort of guys who played on the football team or enlisted guys. They're not that. It's the nerd guys. Nerds are the angriest and women are the angriest. And they didn't engage in rough and tumble play, so they don't know how to gauge themselves. So they don't really know anything. So they go into altercations with people. The ice guys 200 pounds, the Karen's 140 and she's like, what are you gonna do about it?
C
They don't know the consequences and they.
A
Knock them down because they not practice the consequences. As a guy who was beaten by my friends severely my entire life and my friends were all animals, I know that if you spit in someone's face, what's going to happen? Yeah, there's a repercussion milliseconds later, not this time tomorrow you will get beaten upon right now. And so I would never do that. Or if I did, I would not be surprised when they countered with whatever they do. And that's why there's all these women doing all this. And then they're yelling what's going on? When they're being tackled to the ground or they're just standing in front of a 5,000 pound SUV thinking they could stop it with their feminine powers and.
C
Don'T know about accountability.
A
So nerds and women do not do rough and tumble play. They play video games where they get to be heroes slaying dragons from a beanbag chair. All right. Texas me, February 27th, 28th. Two shows each night at Hyenas out there in Texas. You go to AdamKroll.com Adam Yenzer's Got Dates. Very funny. Stand up comedian. March 4th and 5th, Snappers, Fort Myers, Florida. And you can go check out his YouTube page. YouTube show the canceled news is where you'd find Adam as well. Good job, my friend.
C
Awesome. Thanks for having me.
A
And until next time, Adam Corolla. Adam Jens are saying mahalo.
B
You can leave us a voicemail at 888-634-1744 and get tickets to see the Ace man at AdamCarolla.com.
D
TV we're celebrating Black History Month with our free curated collection of black entertainment. No ifs, ands or buts about catch Award winning films like Dreamgirls, Monster's Ball and Selma.
C
We must make a massive demonstration.
D
Iconic hits like School Days and Set it off plus full seasons of shows like Tyler Perry's Sisters and Power. I got you it star studded brilliant black entertainment and it's all free. It's getting good this month and always on Pluto TV stream now pay never Pluto TV we're celebrating Black History Month with our free curated collection of black entertainment no ifs, ands or buts about catch Award winning films like Dreamgirls, Monster's Ball and Selma.
C
We must make a massive demonstration Iconic.
D
Hits like School Days and Set it off plus full seasons of shows like Tyler Perry's Sisters and Power. I got you it star studded brilliant black entertainment and it's all free. It's getting good this month and always on Pluto TV stream now pay never.
Episode Title: Are Mel Brooks Movies Actually Funny? w/ Adam Yenser + Obama Criticizes LA’s Homeless Crisis
Date: February 16, 2026
Hosts/Guests: Adam Carolla, Adam Yenser
This episode features Adam Carolla and comedian/writer Adam Yenser discussing the comedic legacy of Mel Brooks, the real (and perceived) value of entertainment awards, and a range of cultural and political topics, including Obama’s recent comments on LA homelessness, word-salad politics, voter ID laws, border policy, and social dynamics in public life. The conversation is classic Carolla: unscripted, irreverent, and fast-moving, with Yenser providing sharp, dry humor as co-pilot.
Carolla questions the sincerity of wealthy celebrities claiming to "flee" the US for political reasons—comparing their actions to his grandfather, a Jew who literally escaped Hungary before WWII.
They poke fun at Ellen and others “supposedly” moving due to U.S. politics but returning when convenient, and discuss LA real estate absurdities.
With Yenser’s comedy background, they dissect Mel Brooks’ catalog—contrasting it with other comedy auteurs like Albert Brooks. Carolla feels Mel Brooks’ work is wildly uneven, sometimes classic, sometimes “schmaltzy and stupid.”
They discuss how creative “lightning in a bottle” works in comedy teams, and the myth that staff writers from prestigious shows are always individually brilliant.
Delving into “History of the World, Part I”, Carolla plays clips and deconstructs jokes he finds confusing or unfunny—like the famed opening “caveman” sequences.
They highlight how nostalgia can distort comedy and film appreciation. Movies like Spaceballs or Goonies are often beloved primarily by those who saw them at a formative age.
Yenser leads a news segment, playing Obama’s podcast comments about LA’s homelessness—critiquing both the moral failure and the political impracticality of current attitudes.
Carolla lampoons the endless rebranding of homelessness (homeless -> unhoused -> houseless) as empty gestures.
Carolla doubles down on supporting voter ID laws, mocking shifting Democratic arguments against them.
They examine political “four-square” strategy—demagoguery shifts between different groups as needed (women, Black voters, LGBT, immigrants).
They watch a viral video of a student assaulted for holding a pro-ICE sign during a protest, using it as a launch pad for commentary about anger, consequence, and “rough and tumble” social learning.
| Timestamp | Theme/Segment | |-----------|-----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 02:05 | Awards hierarchy (Emmys, Le Mans/Daytona analogy) | | 03:55 | Virtue signaling vs. real fear; celebrities “leaving” US | | 11:14 | Malibu construction craftsmanship; pride in unseen work | | 27:12 | Mel Brooks: hit-or-miss comic legacy | | 34:32 | Nostalgia’s effect on movie appreciation | | 37:05 | Deconstructing History of the World, Part 1’s “caveman” opening | | 45:17 | Carolla’s rant about overplayed classic rock in public spaces | | 49:38 | Language peeve: 'Set foot' vs. 'step foot' | | 55:20 | Obama on LA’s homelessness crisis | | 56:35 | Carolla: “word salad warlock” commentary | | 61:00 | Discussion of “unhoused”/“houseless” terminology | | 75:22 | Fixing real problems—renovation and reality vs. wishful thinking | | 81:19 | Voter ID laws, why Carolla supports them | | 94:36 | Epstein files—“who’s NOT on the list?” | | 101:10 | Viral video: student protest punch; “nerd rage” vs. real consequence |
The episode is quintessential Adam Carolla: punchy, irreverent, and curmudgeonly, with sharp observations delivered through analogies and humor. Adam Yenser matches Carolla’s tone perfectly, offering dry asides and amplifying the comedic critique, particularly around showbiz pretensions, generational divides, and the language games of modern politics. Both hosts maintain a conversational, skeptical, and unfiltered register throughout.