Au Revoir, Justin Trudeau!

Summary

Adam Carolla Show – Episode: "Au Revoir, Justin Trudeau!"

Release Date: January 7, 2025
Guest: Diane Farr
Host: Adam Carolla
Co-Host: Jason "Mayhem" Miller

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Introduction

In this episode of The Adam Carolla Show, host Adam Carolla is joined by longtime friend Diane Farr and commentator Jason "Mayhem" Miller. The trio delves into a range of topics, with a primary focus on the resignation of Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau. The discussion is marked by Adam's characteristic unfiltered humor and sharp political critiques.

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Justin Trudeau’s Resignation and Political Critique

The episode opens with Adam Carolla expressing vehement dissatisfaction with Justin Trudeau's leadership and announces Trudeau's resignation. Adam's frustration is palpable as he critiques Trudeau's policies and leadership style.

• Adam Carolla (00:41): "Saying a hearty take off, eh, to Justin Trudeau."

• Adam Carolla (01:06): "See you puss. See you puss. [...] Go ruin some other country or some other state."

Adam vehemently opposes Trudeau's policies, particularly targeting Trudeau's handling of LGBTQ+ terminology.

• Adam Carolla (02:28): "The best clip of Justin Trudeau is. I love it when people get fucked up on. When he was trying to give the LGBTQ spirit plus thing and he just fucked it up."

Diane Farr briefly interjects to support the notion that LGBTQ+ inclusivity was a positive move.

• Diane Farr (02:28): "But it's a good plus."

Adam continues his critique, mocking Trudeau's perceived incompetence and policies, emphasizing his belief that Trudeau's approach was ineffective and detrimental.

• Adam Carolla (02:29): "I tried the experiment. It doesn't work. [...] The curl bracelet, he's got the rope bracelet, he's got the yarn Any guy with a string bracelet out. You cannot govern. You're too big a puss."

The conversation highlights Adam's broader dissatisfaction with political leadership, drawing parallels with other political figures like Gavin Newsom and Joe Biden.

• Adam Carolla (46:30): "I don't even think of putting a headshot in an envelope. [...] It ended up working out. But I'm saying I never thought of putting a headshot in an envelope. I was like, no one's gonna do this."

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Societal Issues: Hate Speech and Platitudes

A significant portion of the discussion revolves around societal responses to tragedies and the effectiveness of political rhetoric.

Adam criticizes the superficiality of political responses to tragedies, arguing that platitudes like "end hate" are ineffective and merely satiate the public without enacting real change.

• Adam Carolla (44:49): "They call a timeout on hate."

• Adam Carolla (44:49): "Here's what I'm saying to you. I think it's worse than nothing. I think it satiates. [...]"

Diane Farr echoes the sentiment, emphasizing the need for accountability rather than empty statements.

• Diane Farr (48:22): "Nothing puts the fear of God into ISIS like this bitch does."

Adam further elaborates on the disconnect between political speeches and actual societal actions, highlighting incidents like mass shootings as examples of systemic failures.

• Adam Carolla (44:45): "They say 'It's unacceptable,' [...] And then another school that gets shot up [...] unacceptable."

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Cultural Commentary: Music and Media

The conversation shifts to cultural topics, including music and media representations.

Diana Ross’ "I’m Coming Out" Misinterpretation: Adam discusses a personal anecdote about mishearing the lyrics of Diana Ross' iconic song, leading to a deeper conversation about the song's significance within the LGBTQ+ community.

• Adam Carolla (24:17): "I always thought it was 'I'm coming up.' [...] The lyrics say 'I'm coming out.'"

• Diane Farr (24:41): "It's just disco music was in the clubs where all the gay dudes are at. So of course they're gonna like it."

Bob Dylan Movie and Other Media: Adam and Diane touch upon recent films and their reflections on past media, critiquing the portrayal of historical figures and events.

• Adam Carolla (29:47): "He wrote a lot of meaningful songs. But one that I always hated was 'I Ain't Gonna Work on Maggie's Farm No More.'"

• Diane Farr (33:11): "It's like you're in that state."

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Workplace Misconduct Lawsuit: Skip Bayless Case

A notable segment covers allegations against Skip Bayless, a prominent sports commentator, involving misconduct in the workplace.

• Diane Farr (60:56): "Skip Bayless is accused of offering $1.5 million for sex in a workplace misconduct lawsuit filed by former Fox Sports hair stylist."

Adam mocks the situation humorously, critiquing Bayless' alleged actions and the broader implications for workplace culture.

• Adam Carolla (61:31): "He should be suing her for fucking his hair up."

The discussion explores themes of workplace harassment, coercion, and the legal ramifications of such actions.

• Diane Farr (67:58): "She could have taken the one and a half or I wouldn't get more."

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Mock Segments and Humor

Throughout the episode, Adam and his guests engage in humorous, scripted segments that parody various cultural and social phenomena.

• Birthday Cocktail Party Skit (97:20): A fictional and eclectic list of historical and pop culture figures attend Diane Farr’s birthday, highlighting Adam's comedic take on celebrity culture.

• Beavers Restaurant Parody (88:33): The trio riffs on the concept of a male-centric version of Hooters, humorously imagining "Beavers" as America's favorite new theme restaurant.

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Closing Remarks and Final Thoughts

As the episode winds down, Adam reiterates his critiques of political figures and societal issues, emphasizing the need for real change over superficial statements.

• Adam Carolla (123:51): "We're in the backlash stage."

The show concludes with a humorous exchange about auditions and show business dynamics, maintaining the episode's blend of serious commentary and comedic relief.

• Adam Carolla (132:01): "Do we want this? What are we in the third season?"

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Notable Quotes

• Adam Carolla (01:06): "See you puss. [...] Go ruin some other country or some other state."
• Adam Carolla (44:49): "They call a timeout on hate."
• Diane Farr (67:58): "She could have taken the one and a half or I wouldn't get more."
• Adam Carolla (24:17): "I always thought it was 'I'm coming up.' [...] The lyrics say 'I'm coming out.'"

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Conclusion

This episode of The Adam Carolla Show offers a blend of political critique, societal commentary, and cultural humor. Adam Carolla, along with Diane Farr and Jason "Mayhem" Miller, provide an unfiltered perspective on current events, blending personal anecdotes with broader societal observations. The episode underscores Adam's commitment to addressing contentious topics with his signature blend of humor and candor.

Transcript

[Adam Carolla]

Hey, in this episode, my old friend Diane Farr, actress, director, well, she used to be the co host of Loveline all those years ago and was in my movie as well. She's going to join me. Mayhem's in here. We're going to get into the news and many things on my mind right after this. All right, this show brought to you in part by SimpliSafe. If you have 30 minutes, you never have to worry about break ins ever again. Just go to simplisafe.com Adam get all the sensors you need, all the help you need as well to set it up. Custom system is going to show up post [e-mail] Adam.

[Dawson]

From Corolla One Studios in Glendale, California, this is the Adam Carolla Show. Adam's guest today, actress and author Diane Farr. Plus the news and trending topics with Jason Mayhem Miller. And now saying a hearty take off, eh, to Justin Trudeau, Adam Carolla.

[Adam Carolla]

See you puss. See you puss. And listen, we tried the experiment. It doesn't work. Just pussies. Hit the fucking bricks. Go ruin some other country or some other state. It just your way doesn't work. Your way. I wish your way worked. It doesn't. It's sad. It's sad. That's where it put on your walking socks. He's such a puss hoser. Oh, I love it when he has to get up there. His last thing was lecturing us because we didn't elect a woman. But an incompetent woman. That's the part they don't tell you is we didn't elect an incompetent woman. He weeps for us because we're still so, you know, misogynistic. The best clip of Justin Trudeau is. I love it when people get fucked up on. When he was trying to give the LGBTQ spirit plus thing and he just fucked it up. It's like bitten by your own snake. You know what I mean? Like they, they added so many letters that they can't. And they change every two weeks that he couldn't, he couldn't get them all out in the right order. Remember that, Dawson? It was like two years ago or something.

[Diane Farr]

But it's a good plus.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, listen to me. I was thinking about this from yesterday. We have this clip. It's the greatest. That's so like, I don't remember. I hate. I never saw him. I hated dudes. Also, I saw a picture of Telltale Sign. He's got the rope bracelet, he's got the yarn Any guy with a string bracelet out. You cannot govern. You're too big a puss. My daughter. Yeah, yeah, your daughter made it for you in your desk drawer. You know that super thin drawer at the very top that's only like an inch deep? That's what that's for. Shit your daughter makes you and wants you to put on. I'm keeping it safe in my desk, honey.

[Diane Farr]

I'll be good to go.

[Adam Carolla]

All right. Sorry. We have this, by the way, I love the fact that everyone's wearing a mask. Did anyone ever think about this? During COVID Everyone who wasn't talking was required to wear a mask. But everyone who was talking didn't have to wear a mask.

[Diane Farr]

Hey, I thought we're done with COVID 2025. So we're done. It's behind us. Like the divorce. It's over with.

[Adam Carolla]

People are in the back breathing through their nose, and you're gesticulating and spitting on people with no metals upon your mask. All right, sorry. Let's hear. Make me laugh. I will never apologize. He won't apologize for standing up for an lgdp. Lgt. Lbt. Yeah. Okay, homo, Hit the bricks. Hit the bricks, homo.

[Diane Farr]

You're out.

[Adam Carolla]

Kids rights. All right. He's never. He's never going to apologize for standing up for marginalized. Okay, hero, hit the fucking bricks. You pussy. Take your fucking rope bracelet with you. Your little yarn bracelet. Hit the fucking bricks. Go ruin some other country. I'll never apologize. I'm so fucking tired of everyone and the way they sound. Also. I don't know what any of it means. I'm telling you, the lgbt. Let's hear him apologize. Let's hear him never apologize one more time. He's not gonna apologize. By the way, did anyone ever ask anyone to apologize for defending a marginalized group? I will never apologize for standing up for an LGBT LGBT.

[Diane Farr]

LGBTQ.

[Adam Carolla]

LGBTQ plus.

[Diane Farr]

The resignation with which he says, it is beautiful. LGBTQ. Fine.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I do do the dude version of this. The straight version of this is like Le Mans race categories, where I'm like, is it. Oh, they're racing L and P or GT1 or GT3 or L and P2? There's a million classes at Le Mans.

[Diane Farr]

I know. Zero.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, and we'll get. That's the straight version of this. All right, here's some more health club talk for you, all right? I was swung by the Equinox on the way in. I was telling you that cold tub was like 55 degrees last time because it was like Lukewarm, because everyone had just. There's a long line of people walking out of the sauna and into it. The bodies, the nonstop bodies covered hot bodies covered with sweat. I went today. I was like, God, that fucking cold tub. I hope that thing's in the 40s. I walked in there, it was filled with ice, and it was 36 degrees.

[Diane Farr]

But that's the man test right there.

[Adam Carolla]

I was like, did you hit it? Yeah, I fucking hit it. 36, four minutes, man. I was like, holy shit. I wasn't looking for the 30s. I was looking for the 40s. And by the way, 45 to, like, 48 is enough. I'd never done 30s. They were dumping buckets of ice in there. And just add a little Armo sweat.

[Diane Farr]

And it'll be up to 50.

[Adam Carolla]

I had to. I had to go for it.

[Diane Farr]

Which.

[Adam Carolla]

Which I did. But the other thing in the world of complaints is we got two. We got too many fucking rules. And so, like, I went upstairs to the bar. They got the bulletproof coffee and stuff. They're going to have the bulletproof coffee, whatever. It's just a little area that serves coffee and has. You make smoothies or whatever, right? I go in there, try to get a cup of coffee. I'm like, you guys not open? No, no, we're not open. I'm like, I don't get it. The gym's been open for two weeks. Can't brew up some coffee or what's going on. They're, like, waiting to get our certificate from the health department. I'm like, of course. Of course. Somebody from the fucking city has to issue you something to let you sell something that's liquid to somebody else. And there's always a fucking delay. You want to know why? They don't give a fuck. They don't care if you get your certificate or this shit's open or not open or whatever it is now. If you did open it without the certificate, then they would show up and they would care and they would fuck you up. But that was number one. Number two, I'm sitting in the. I'm sitting in the cold tub, and dudes who work at the club are coming around, like, giving a. Giving a tour or something. And guys looking at me sitting in a tub of ice. You know, he's like, cold enough. I'm like, yeah, cold. Thank God they make you wear trunks because, you know, no gym dick in that situation. No leather face. Turtle heading. So I. Right, so somebody comes out of the sauna and they go, the sauna Isn't really hot. It's not really hot. And everyone is in the sauna. It's like, yeah, it's warm, but it's not. It's not hot. We'd like it hot. And the guy goes, yeah, they put the thermostat sensor directly above the heated rocks. Now the fucking sauna is like a 20 person sauna. It's like 12ft wide and 16ft deep. So you may be sitting 10ft away from the rocks. All the heat goes up and gets captured directly above it by the thermostat. So that's 160 degrees. 12ft away. It's 95 degrees. Because the thing of rocks in the corner is not doing it.

[Diane Farr]

Wrestler trick. Wrestler trick. You take a washcloth, put it in that cold plunge that you were just in, walk back in there and stick it on the thermostat.

[Adam Carolla]

That's a good idea.

[Diane Farr]

Man's up and leans over the hot rocks with the. With the cold. And then boom, it's up again here.

[Adam Carolla]

You're right. Because the seat. I think the ceiling's too hot. I'm trying to think that's okay. That's a good. That's good. Or we do what?

[Diane Farr]

You could splash water on it too. I've seen that technique.

[Adam Carolla]

Really?

[Diane Farr]

Yeah. Where you throw cold water at the thing until it cools up.

[Adam Carolla]

How about we go Saving Private Ryan with the sticky bomb? Sock. I take my sock, I smear Vaseline all over it, I put it in the cold plunge and I throw the sticky bomb on it and it just stick it. Fucking bitch. So the guy's. The guy's out there and he's like. So everyone's like, well, the sun is not really hot. And then the guy's like, yeah, they put the thermostat directly above. I'm like, well, first off, first sauna rodeo. Like, who's designing the fucking sauna? The thermostat should be 12ft from the fucking. Not right above it. That's weird, right? Like, it's directly above the rock. I went and looked up at it. I was like, of course it's going to just heat up and shut up, by the way. Someone had to know this.

[Diane Farr]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

Going on, right?

[Diane Farr]

You put.

[Adam Carolla]

I would argue that the thermostat that senses to shut it off should be somewhere in the midway point of the sauna room. Not directly above the coals where nobody is. All right, number one. So then the guy goes, person in the sauna who wasn't getting the heat, he's like, well, can you turn it up and the guy's like, by law, we can't because it's at max. So the max is 160 or 180 or whatever the fucking max is by law. But it's right above the rocks where nobody presides. I'm sitting 10ft away and it's 95 degrees and not 160. But by law. By law, you get a lukewarm sauna and no fucking coffee upstairs. That's by law. And I just thought, how. How much of this.

[Diane Farr]

Them American Express points ain't paying for shit.

[Adam Carolla]

Do they want the club? The club doesn't want to turn it up. Is that what's going on? Is that what's going on? The club doesn't.

[Diane Farr]

I always hear one thing is liability. Liability.

[Adam Carolla]

Everything is liability.

[Diane Farr]

Yeah, everyone's afraid to get sued because we have a culture of suing everybody.

[Adam Carolla]

It is true. It is true. But why design it? Like, here's what I'm saying. You walk into the sauna, it is not that hot. Can we just fucking turn it up and go home? Or is everyone worried about the nanny state getting into trouble and blah, blah, blah?

[Diane Farr]

Not just the nanny state. It's super easy just to sue someone. Turn around and just file some paperwork, and then bingo, bango, maybe you got $1.5 million.

[Adam Carolla]

I think they watched too many episodes of Charlie's Angels growing up, because every third cop show I watch, like Charlie's Angels and Vegas and all these shows I would watch when I was a kid, like 70 shows, at some point, the angels would go into the sauna or the steam room, and the bad guy, you'd never see his face. You just see him put the chair, like, wedged a chair, and then he'd turn the thermostat up to skull and crossbones. Like, there'd be a setting that would kill a human being, and for some reason, they could turn it that high and they were going to cook Charlie's Angels. There's a lot of sauna steam room threats in the seventies.

[Diane Farr]

Your generation's quicksand. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, quicksand is my generation.

[Diane Farr]

Is yours. Oh, wait. Bled over to mine.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, yeah.

[Diane Farr]

I was determined to avoid quicksand.

[Adam Carolla]

We had cost. There's a good thing and a bad thing that's never happened in California that I've been hearing about my entire life since junior high. There are two things. There are killer bees coming in from Texas.

[Diane Farr]

Africanized.

[Adam Carolla]

Africanized killer bees. Killer bees were gonna come in any day now. And, like, you know, you'd Be walking down the street and you're gonna get destroyed, Eradicated. They never showed up.

[Diane Farr]

They never did.

[Adam Carolla]

They've been talking about killer bees for 44 years. They've never showed up. But the other thing they were talking about since junior high, the bullet train from LA to Vegas. There's going to be a bullet train from LA to Vegas. I remember sitting in Ms. Valdivia's class in, like, the 10th grade and, like, reading an article about a bullet train that's going to Vegas. And I thought. I thought this never happened. That was never gonna happen.

[Diane Farr]

2000S. Because that came up in the 2000.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Diane Farr]

They're gonna build bullet train to Vegas, bro.

[Adam Carolla]

We're talking about the early 80s. They're talking about a bullet train. It's never gonna happen. It's also weird. It's also weird thinking about it. Like, you hear about stuff like the future and train and rail and bullet trains and stuff like that, and it's like, it's never gonna happen in California. They'll never do it. They'll never fucking build anything. It's the weirdest. It's kind of weird. I guess everyone's just made their peace with it, but it's like, we'll never have it. I don't know why. I don't know why. We can't have anything. You know what I mean? It seems weird because the fans, like, California is like, of course we're gonna be the first to have the bull. We got nothing.

[Diane Farr]

And maybe it's the spirit of the state, like the first country bumpkins that came out here, like, struck oil, right? And then they're like, look, let's not change it too much.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, let's drag our feet. I was thinking about people coming out here. I had an ironic thought. I saw somebody tweeted me a clip. I think Joe has. It was talking about U Hauls and U Hauls leaving California. You know, they can listen, everybody. You can talk all you want. Look, Gavin Newsom can make a speech and spin it all he wants, but it's really about U Hauls. What direction are U Hauls going in?

[Diane Farr]

All right, all right.

[Adam Carolla]

So anyway, I'll play this and I'll tell you something funny, but the company has over 23,000 locations, and they say that does help us get a broader sense of migration trends. So take a look. Because in the new report, U Haul found that California once again ranked dead last in the country in its growth rankings. For the fifth straight year, the Golden State saw the largest net loss of one way U Haul customers. All right, so everyone's leaving, and they're leaving for good reason. But then I started thinking about it. How ironic is it? I started thinking about the Donner Party. Me too.

[Diane Farr]

I always think about Donner Party.

[Adam Carolla]

You always think about the Donner Party.

[Diane Farr]

They stopped there and had beef jerky in honor of them.

[Adam Carolla]

Of the Donner?

[Diane Farr]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay. The Donner party were a bunch of people that were in Illinois, basically, who died trying to get to California. And now people are dying trying to get out of California. It's just gotta be a slap in the face for any of the distant relatives of the Donner Party. And also weird explanation, like, why was anyone trying to get into California? Cause it used to be good. That's why. And now all the U Hauls are going the other direction. Yeah. What do you know about the Donners?

[Diane Farr]

I mean, I know they ate each other at some point. That's the big headline, is that they. They collapsed like, wagon wheel fell off. I don't know. I've never seen a movie of it, but I can imagine it's pretty tough to.

[Adam Carolla]

Like they're in the Sierra Nevada, saw.

[Diane Farr]

Somebody up and eat them.

[Adam Carolla]

You know, they started eating. You know, they started with the ass cheek. Huh? No, no, not the part. Not the part. The child. The two people they ate first were their Indian guys.

[Diane Farr]

Ah, son of a bitch.

[Adam Carolla]

Which is sort of like dark meat. Yeah. Like, I could see him kind of going, like, look, I'm not going to eat Brad, but I got to eat. Somebody want to get over, like, we don't know him. And it's not like he's an animal, but he's closer to an animal than Brad is or something. You know what I'm saying? I don't know. They had to make this. They had to make hard decisions is what I'm saying. But they ended up eating a couple of their Indian guides.

[Diane Farr]

Wait, first, Wait, did they kill them and eat them? Or like, were they already dead? Were they dying of.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know.

[Diane Farr]

When you get to it, I think.

[Adam Carolla]

They killed and ate their Indian guide. Or maybe they were just pissed off because the guide walked them into a fucking snowbank and they just sat there for months. Yeah, maybe that was it. Maybe it was retribution. You're right. So I think they killed and ate the Indian guys. And then quite a few of them survived, though. It wasn't. They didn't all go down.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

It was.

[Adam Carolla]

There was like. There was like, I don't know, 81 people and 44 lived or something. Like that was also good ratio, by the way. It was. It was tough sledding all the way around because it was like I was looking to a chart and it was like a month and a half earlier. 21 of the party were killed by Indians. I mean, death was a fairly routine thing back then. I know everyone's worried about getting a certificate so they can give me some coffee or worried the sauna may be too hard, the fucking kids wearing a helmet to walk out to the car. But back then, death was pretty routine.

[Diane Farr]

Yeah, dysentery.

[Adam Carolla]

If you look on the diary, 87 people entered the mountains and 48 survived. Yeah, it was about right. We did a little better. They weren't completely wiped out. Also, like I said, they were killed by Indians. They were leaving Springfield, Illinois, I believe. And there's a couple different trails they could take.

[Diane Farr]

I'm just thinking about that conversation, like, yo, Carolla, are we gonna hack up Squanto or is this going down tonight? I mean, we gotta eat.

[Adam Carolla]

We gotta eat.

[Diane Farr]

Gotta eat.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't want to eat. Brad.

[Diane Farr]

No. Brad is out. All the way out. He tastes.

[Adam Carolla]

But all the livestock's gone and we got nothing.

[Diane Farr]

Nothing.

[Adam Carolla]

But there are two dudes and they let us into the snow drift.

[Diane Farr]

I'm with you.

[Adam Carolla]

Are you with me?

[Diane Farr]

I'm with you.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay, tell me what to do. Yeah. So I just thought it was funny that people died trying to get to.

[Diane Farr]

California and now they're dying to get on their U Haul.

[Adam Carolla]

Dying to get out. All right, I saw. Oh, I made the proclamation on yesterday's show that I needed three days. Three days hauling out. Well, I will add that.

[Diane Farr]

Wait, no Eagles.

[Adam Carolla]

I said yes and no. It was Fleetwood Mac. I said, I need three days without Fleetwood Mac. And then I said, I need three days without the Eagles. I got into my goddamn car, into my car, and I took off last night and I got about three quarters of a mile from here. I was about two and a half minutes. And Take it to the Limit by the Eagles, which is a fucking. Another horrible Eagles song, came on. I'm not listening to the Eagles station or anything. I was. It was on the 70 station. And the Eagles did exist in the 70s, but I did not make it one mile from this place without hearing the fucking Eagles. I immediately called Joe and started screaming. I just held my phone up and turned the speaker up of the car so I would have a timestamp and a witness.

[Diane Farr]

Self made problem. Corolla, the 70s channel. I can't not listen to Kendrick Lamar no matter what he's my Eagles. But I like him.

[Adam Carolla]

You like?

[Diane Farr]

I like him, but he is on every channel, every. Yeah, hip hop. He's like, it's over with is Kendrick Lamar.

[Adam Carolla]

What I don't really get is, I know they're the 70s, but Hocus Pocus by Focus was done in the 70s, too, and we could fucking rock out instead of taking it to the fucking limit for the 15,000th time this week. Like, I don't get the program. Why don't you just play good songs from the 70s?

[Diane Farr]

It's safe and not going to offend anybody.

[Dawson]

They don't hire. Yeah, they don't hire renegades for those music programming positions.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, I was also then listening to the 70 station and got some clarity. If you can find the Diana Ross song I'm Coming Out.

[Diane Farr]

Great jam.

[Adam Carolla]

This song is from 1980.

[Diane Farr]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

That means for 45 years, I thought it was I'm coming up. Because I swear she says up. She doesn't say, ow.

[Diane Farr]

I'm not sure.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm coming up the entire. My entire life.

[Diane Farr]

Oh, that really hit that table.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, let's listen. So I was always like, why is she such an icon to the gay community? She's not gay. She doesn't know anything. And I was always. I was wondering, like, why the gays love Diana Ross so much. It's like, ah, she's a diva. You know, Are they sensitive? Up.

[Dawson]

Sounds like up.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, is it out? Or is it up? Like I. He's up. All right, this. She's coming out. But the chorus is I'm coming up or not. Lyrics say I'm coming out. I mean, the title of the song's I'm Coming Out. You knew that the whole time. Oh, no, no. You don't know why? Because I never read and nothing was ever printed. It was just whatever was on the radio. Yeah, so I couldn't read. I'm sitting in my car in a parking lot waiting for someone to get a pizza. And I'm reading I'm coming out. And I'm like, you mean coming up?

[Diane Farr]

No, no, you're right.

[Adam Carolla]

But listen, say.

[Diane Farr]

Oh, yeah, look, I had that.

[Adam Carolla]

The lyrics say I'm coming out, but the backup singers are saying, I'm coming up.

[Diane Farr]

Safety.

[Adam Carolla]

But I'm sitting there. And I was like, after 45 years of struggling with the. Why is she a gay icon? She doesn't do anything for the gays. She's coming out. Coming out. It's their theme song.

[Diane Farr]

It's just disco music was in the clubs where all the gay dudes are at. So of course they're gonna like it.

[Adam Carolla]

It's coming out. They're coming out of the closet. What? All right, so the song's called I'm Coming out, but the backup singers are saying, I'm coming up, but she's saying, I'm coming out.

[Dawson]

They're not. They're saying. They're all saying, I'm coming out, but I'm with you. I heard my entire life, I'm coming up.

[Diane Farr]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

There's a post on Reddit. Many years ago, I had two co workers at a previous job tried to gaslight me into thinking the song was called I'm Coming up, because I kept singing I'm coming out. They corrected me, and I doubted myself for years. This is me. Mm. The person's in therapy because of this Diana Ross song.

[Diane Farr]

Quote.

[Adam Carolla]

Because of that, I was afraid to ever sing for fun in public for a long time out of fear someone might laugh at me for getting lyrics wrong. I'm glad I didn't work at that place because I think same thing would have happened to me. Oh, no, no. I would have joined the chorus of people that were yelling at the person. Let me hear the chorus one more time. Now, listen, here's how the game is played. You can't say the word out in your head. You have to or up. You have to be neutral because you will hear whatever your mind.

[Diane Farr]

So I should be humming like a monk in my head.

[Adam Carolla]

Like, hum like a monk. All right, all right. Oh, she says out there. Yeah.

[Diane Farr]

That'S all. Oh, maybe.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, they're doing both.

[Diane Farr]

I don't know.

[Adam Carolla]

Are they doing both?

[Diane Farr]

They're gaslighting you.

[Adam Carolla]

But the lyrics never say up.

[Diane Farr]

Never say up, huh? No, never. Joe. Oh, my God. Definitely is saying up. Second time was up.

[Adam Carolla]

I agree. I agree with me.

[Diane Farr]

The blue dress or the gold dress?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, same thing. All right. I don't know. We're in an era, which I'm interested also. I'll circle back to that. But I saw Wicked. I saw the Bob Dylan movie.

[Diane Farr]

Good. I saw Nosferatu.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, how was it?

[Diane Farr]

Oh, my God. Orgasmic. Really? Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

Scary.

[Diane Farr]

Yes. No. Yes, Good. Yes, Scary. A little bit. Little bit good. Sexually freaky.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, really? Yeah.

[Diane Farr]

I mean, I was leather.

[Adam Carolla]

The whole leather. I want to hear about that. Wiccan's fine. Some musicals, whatever. It's like. It's too long. It's stupid, but it's fine. You know, it's good set dressing and stuff.

[Diane Farr]

Good singing.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah. I mean, everyone could sing and Everything's good.

[Diane Farr]

Was it Oompa Loompas in there? I mean, Lollipop Guild, whatever.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know. It was fine. It was, like, sort of fun to watch. It was good. It was longer than it needed to be.

[Diane Farr]

You saw the stage show?

[Adam Carolla]

I think I did. Yeah. I did see the stage show.

[Diane Farr]

Comparable.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't. Yeah, I don't really recall, but it's fine. I like musicals. You don't have to think. You just sit there. The Bob Dylan thing was pretty good, but there weren't any real stakes. You didn't really care what happened. I mean, they built this whole thing about him going electric at the folk pop festival. Which they turned into, like, a life or death kind of thing. Which is like, who cares? But was a big deal, I guess, at the time. But it was fine. You got to see what this country and what New York and what this place looked like in, like, 1962. Like, the way people interacted. Like, first things first. Everyone just smoked. No one gave a shit. People walked around, they smoked. They come to somebody's house, they'd light up a cigarette. Like, everyone just smoked. Everyone hung out. Everything was sort of clean and fairly orderly. Like, there wasn't graffiti and trash. There's, like trash everywhere now, and graffiti everywhere. Like, stuff wasn't broken down and fucked up. This is, like, sort of normal. There's, like a civility and guys kind of dressed a little better and women dressed a little better. And I don't know, was this a sort of simpler times? Better times, I could argue. Until the sort of hellscape that we have now. So it was pretty good. But there is a thing that I was. I don't like Bob Dylan that much. Yeah. I was going to say for the most part. But it has a couple good songs and interesting and everything.

[Diane Farr]

He's like a cultural icon, as I understand.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. I'm just not a huge fan, but gotta give him his due. He wrote a lot of meaningful songs. But one that I always hated was I ain't gonna work on Maggie's Farm no more. But I always used to think, it's Maddie's farm. Oh, it's mad. Oh, shit. Fucking heart attack.

[Diane Farr]

Gaslighting.

[Adam Carolla]

I swear to God, I'm so vulnerable right now, Joe. Trauma response I had. I'm like, oh, my God, no. Now there's nothing worse than fucking lyrics up. I mean, Jimmy fucked up the theme song from Chico and the Man.

[Diane Farr]

Excuse me, why I Kissed this Guy. Well, there's that gay ass, Jimi Hendrix.

[Adam Carolla]

It's Always fun to be there when you find out one of your friends is fucking lyrics up. I stood next to Steve Hughes when he took BTOs taking care of business and turned it into taking care of pistons. That was good. That was a milestone. I remember where I was. Oh, God. Oh, Mark Drotman. I remember where I was when Mark Drotman did the toto song. Those are lies. Love isn't always on time. And I'm like, do it again, Mark. He's like, those are lies. I'm like, no, no, hold the line. Love isn't always on time. He's like, ha ha. Huh? I was like, oh, man, you're 34. Oh. You've been fucking this thing up for a good 20 years now, and you're singing out loud. I don't really remember a lot about the birth of my kids, but I know where I was when Mark Dropman fucked up Toto song. I know where I was when Steve Hughes fucked up the BTO song. And when Jimmy fucked up the theme to Chico and the Man. That was a big day for me too.

[Diane Farr]

Don't even know that one. Sorry, bud.

[Adam Carolla]

Jose Feliciano.

[Diane Farr]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Felice Navidad. Yeah. Can't go wrong with Jose Feliciano. I learned that from the movie Fargo. But it was a very innocent fuck up. But he fucked it up. Chico. Don't worry. The man, he ain't so hard to understand. And then there's a part where he goes, I know things will get better. Oh, yes, they will for Chico. And Jimmy said, gato, things will get better. Which is Spanish cat. So it sort of work with the theme. Yeah, but I remember where I was when he did that. I was like, give me that one again, Jimmy Gato. Things will get by.

[Diane Farr]

That's the correct lyric. What do you mean?

[Adam Carolla]

I know? Oh, I know, I know. Things will get got, though. I mean, look, these are innocent. Innocent, but they're marked in my brain. I know right where I was. We're in the KROC stand up at Kroc, talking by the phone bank. 1994.

[Diane Farr]

It's your personal 9 11.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, let me hear that. Let me hear the. Let me hear the cheek on that. Oh, the bob. Oh, ain't okay, well, listen.

[Diane Farr]

Oh, I like this vibing.

[Adam Carolla]

He Jose Felicianos. He gets down. Yeah. This is at the beginning of the Freddie Prince sitcom Senior. Don't be discouraged. Courage. The man, he ain't so hard to understand. That's a decent theme. Because as good as everyone. And a new day has begun. That's All I had was tv when I was a guy. Stared at a tv. It's all I had. We'll do Speed Racer later. Wait, did you say. I know there.

[Diane Farr]

He sounded like Goto to me.

[Adam Carolla]

Dino. He says, Dino. It's probably.

[Dawson]

And I know.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, let's hear it. Let's hear it. I, I, I. You got to give Jimmy some. Cut him some slack. Because he.

[Dawson]

And I know.

[Adam Carolla]

Is he saying. And yes, very quickly. I really have. One more time. I'm gonna say it in my head. Yeah, okay. See, you gotta cut Jimmy some slack here because that was a little up. And I didn't even have the. And I know. I just had. I know, I know. I swallowed the end. I hate Jose Feliciano.

[Dawson]

You know, I know this song, huh? Oswaldo, tell us about some movies.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, yeah.

[Dawson]

We want to know what movies you have seen.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right. All right. I don't know what's going on. Oh, yeah. I ain't gonna work on Maggie's farm no more. Is Bob Dylan threatening Maggie? Because he sounds like the fucking worst farmhand ever. Yeah, yeah. Could you picture Bob Dylan working on a farm? All he did was chain smoke and criticize people around him. I never seen him lifting bales of hay.

[Diane Farr]

Seemed like a dainty guy.

[Adam Carolla]

You work on a farm, you get up at 5 and you go out and you mend fences and you drive fence posts and you stack up hay. Bob Dylan woke up at noon, fucked random chicks and chain smoked. He'd be the worst farm hand. I feel like I want to hear Maggie's side of this whole story, but she's got to be delighted he's gone.

[Diane Farr]

Yeah. And Timothee Chalamet is, like, much bigger and stronger than Bob Dylan ever was. Yeah, well, he's like, that's the guy.

[Adam Carolla]

They played Bob Dylan's dimensions. I mean, five, eight and a half and 100. Nothing like he'd be the Andy be complaining the whole time.

[Diane Farr]

Folk music. The whole thing about it was to pretend to cosplay like you're an everyman, but play the guitar.

[Adam Carolla]

It's kind of interesting, you know, you're kind of right. It's like the rappers talking about being from the hood, putting a cap in everyone's ass and pimping and have pimping chimp.

[Diane Farr]

He was a drama major. Like, he was like, very.

[Adam Carolla]

You know what I mean?

[Diane Farr]

But he talked thug.

[Adam Carolla]

No, you're right. You're right. And the whole folk scene is about working on the farm and fixing your own pickup truck. And, you know, Traveling the land and stuff. Meanwhile, you're just sitting around banging waitresses at a club and chain smoking and doing. He's 5 7. But forget about Bob Dylan's dimensions. I'm talking about a buck 32, I'm talking about. But just his attitude. Could you imagine Maggie, like, coming in at like, 5? Bob, I need you to head out. The tractors on the fritz again. We need you to fix the tractor. He'd be like, I'm fucking a waitress and smoking. I'll be out about noon. I'm thinking about a song. Bob, we're going to raise the barn. Come on, you're going to miss the barn right here. Like, I don't get up before noon and I smoke and I drink coffee. And then I think about songs. Who could. Like worst, like Randy Bachman from bto. That guy would make a good farmhand. That guy's stout. He's got a beard.

[Diane Farr]

Yeah, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

You know what I mean?

[Diane Farr]

I think takes care of business.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Diane Farr]

ZZ Top could definitely throw some bales of hay around.

[Adam Carolla]

ZZ Top could work on a farm.

[Diane Farr]

Acdc, I figure they could make a lift.

[Adam Carolla]

Not the guy in the school Boys Angus. No, no. You take a look at Bachman. Turner Overdrive. Those guys could work on Maggie's farm.

[Diane Farr]

Where we had on the Eagles.

[Adam Carolla]

Joe Walsh be like. Joe Walsh would set something on fire. Like, he'd fall asleep drunk, knock a lantern over. He'd fall asleep smoking and like, knock it in some lantern oil or something. I don't. I don't think you could have the Eagles working on your farm, but BTO could do it. Trying to.

[Dawson]

Probably the dudes in midnight oil might be able to work on a farm for a while.

[Adam Carolla]

No, no, no, no. Because that guy be fucking preaching the whole. He'd be happy about it. Yeah. He'd be pissed because you had livestock and their cows and he was vegan, you know, and he. He'd be fucking lecturing you the whole time. Like, you'd be like, hey, Midnight oil guy, get the fertilizer out. We got to put the fertilizer. And they'd be like, do you know what that does to the topsoil? Like, it'd be. It'd be nonstop complaining about shit you were doing at that farm with him.

[Dawson]

To the wet sprocket. Could work on an organic farm.

[Diane Farr]

Only Rage against the Machine would turn it into a commune.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah. I'm trying to think. That Midnight oil guy, he's like in Australian Parliament now or something. He got out of it. He got Fully, I think, into the politicking stuff and is like with the bean curd party or something at the Australian Green Bean curd. I don't know. He's in the tofu party of Australia. Where is that weird Hills have Eyes guy? Where is that guy?

[Dawson]

You know, it'd be a shitty.

[Adam Carolla]

Are we talking about Bones Hillman? Bones, the lead singer? The bald guy who's like six, six or something. He'd be good for getting stuff off the hay rafter, you know, because he was rangy.

[Diane Farr]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

I. You know John Popper from Blues Traveler, like, could have. Could work on your farm a little bit. I mean, he's lost a few pounds.

[Dawson]

Josh Todd from Buck Cherry would not make a good farm worker.

[Adam Carolla]

No. No. Yeah. But I still think Bob Dylan is still at the top of the worst farmhand.

[Diane Farr]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Ever.

[Diane Farr]

Undoubtedly.

[Adam Carolla]

Got to talk to Maggie. Peter Garrett, former Minister of the Environment and water of Australia. Six four, Peter Garrett.

[Dawson]

The Marshall Tucker Band would probably make pretty good farmers.

[Diane Farr]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Mm. Yeah. You go into the. You go into the country realm. I think you could get some help on that farm. All right, so Bob Dylan, bad farmhand. A decent movie. Timothee Chalamet was pretty good. I mean, he's kind of a. Bob Dylan's kind of a douche.

[Diane Farr]

The electric guitar was the crescendo of that.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Spoiler album. It was really just like. For me, it was just like, what did this country look like in 1965? Did they raise the silly relations in 65? There's a little.

[Diane Farr]

Little touch of that in the movie. Was there like.

[Adam Carolla]

They didn't. It was more. I don't know, it was just like, here's how people traveled. Here's what they. You know, they didn't have phones. There's like phones everywhere. Like, people just rode motorcycles with no helmets and shit like that. Just everyone smoked everywhere and it was like, nobody. I don't know. It was like a little more, do what you want. It's fine.

[Diane Farr]

Folksy.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I liked it. I mean, I thought it was good. Wicked is fine. All right. Now there's one more thing to complain about, which I don't know what this is. I think it's chick think era that we're living in. But when things happen, tragedies like New Orleans and then the president does it, but everyone does it. They just get behind the microphone and they go, well, this is unacceptable. And I'm like, well, it happened, so fucking accept it. You know what I mean? They go, and there's no room for this in this country, there's no room. It's like, well, make room, douche. Cuz it happens every other weekend now. It's unacceptable, except for it keeps happening, you know what I mean? And I don't know where this talk came from, and I suspect it's part of the problem. Meaning, okay, so everyone says to me, what do you care? When you turn on the NFL game and in the end zone it says end hate or end racism. So what I'm like, well, I think that when you talk about something like why I always hate the platitudes where you go, look, everyone deserves a seat at the table. No child should go to bed hungry. Every child should feel safe in their home. It satiates. Here's a thing for you. You ready? It does nothing. It does nothing. It does nothing. Well, I'll play a commercial about hate. I don't know why every football, every time I try to watch the NFL, I watch the NFL to crack a beer and fucking enjoy myself. Not hear about hate everywhere. But here's, here's one of their commercials they run all the time. They just want us to knock it off, but I don't know what it means. Time out. Time out. Time out. Time out. Time out. Listen up, get tight.

[Diane Farr]

This is the most important timeout I've ever called.

[Adam Carolla]

Things are getting out of control out there and we need to regroup.

[Diane Farr]

Hate, Hate, hate. Hate is winning out there.

[Adam Carolla]

Not on these fields, in our communities, on our streets, in our schools. And we need to stop it.

[Dawson]

So let's take this moment to change the momentum.

[Adam Carolla]

They call a timeout on hate.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Together.

[Adam Carolla]

Together. All right. Tell that to the guy driving the fucking Ford Lightning truck through all the people in New Orleans. Someone should have given that guy a timeout. Or for hate. It just doesn't mean anything. It's nothing. But here's what I'm saying to you. I think it's worse than nothing. I think it satiates. I think the problem, problem with these people, politicians, they give these speeches. We're like, no human's illegal and everyone needs to be treated with dignity. Now I'm going back to my mansion and they leave and they step over a bunch of homeless fucking junkies flopping out on the street. But they said they won't tolerate it and this is unacceptable. So there's another school that gets shot up or another street that gets rammed by Ford Lightning truck, and then you just go, unacceptable. Now I'm going back in the mansion, okay? It satiates. And I said to Joe but think about this as a guy who works out like you do. What if there was a thing where you didn't go to the gym, you didn't exercise, and you got none of the benefits of exercise, but it kind of felt like you did, like. Like some program or something that I could just download where you went. Like, I know I didn't go to the gym and do hack squats and slides all day. I know I didn't do that. I kind of feel like I did. Would that be good for you?

[Diane Farr]

No.

[Adam Carolla]

Or would you just get fatter every fucking month? I mean, would that be good for you if it felt like. Or anything? Sort of felt like. I know I didn't register my car, but it kind of feels like I did. And I know I didn't hug my kids, but. Or tell anyone I love them, but it feels like I did. Kind of feels like. It kind of feels like I sort of did. I know I didn't go to the gym, but it kind of feels like I did. And I know I didn't eat anything that was healthy today, but. But I did talk about it for a while and I did say there was, you know. No, that this was a churro free zone, you know, And I noticed that I did say there's no excuse for eating dessert. I did have some dessert, but I made the proclamation. So it kind of feels like I did all these things, except for I haven't done any of it. Yeah, well, that would then be harmful to the person or the society. I think we got a bunch of fucking people walking around feeling like something is getting. Hey, what do you mean? We're not doing anything about hate. Didn't you see the commercial? Doc Rivers told you to knock it off. So we're good, right? And, oh, as far as racism goes, that's in the end zone too. So that's. Check that box. Right?

[Diane Farr]

Well, what's your suggestion for society? Because it sounds like we gotta do a bunch of hack squats to fix it.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, well, first off, we knock off the. This is not acceptable. Also, like, when the chick who's in charge of the police, whatever, in New Orleans gets out there, who got drummed out of San Francisco, goes, look, we had those barriers, I just didn't know about it. But look, we're not here to assign blame. Yeah, how about we start assigning blame? Bitch.

[Diane Farr]

The Crypt Keeper lady.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. Yeah, we have her. Nothing puts the fear of God into ISIS like this bitch does. I mean, look at her, Bob. She's got granny glasses all Right. And these are all di hires, I guess also I've been screaming for a million years. It can't just be we got to get a chick or black guy in the spot. We have to get like competent, qualified people, otherwise people will die. Which is already happening. Let me ask Anna Kirkpatrick, is she more qualified to be the superintendent of police in a crime ridden city than Bob Dylan is qualified to be a farmhand? Oh, my God. That my man. I got to sleep on that one, Joe. That is going to be tough. All right, let's see what she has to say. Adam, do you acknowledge that you let the victims down by not having an appropriate security plan?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Oh, that's not the.

[Adam Carolla]

Correct.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

That's not correct.

[Adam Carolla]

We would disagree with that. We had. It was a plan that allowed an attacker to drive into a crime.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

And I take exception to that. And I do not agree with that.

[Adam Carolla]

That has to be a failure. We do know that people have lost their lives, but if you're experienced with terrorism, you would not be asking that question. Well, with respect, experience of terrorism, somebody.

[Diane Farr]

Drove somebody, Somebody plowed a bunch of people.

[Adam Carolla]

But she disagrees with that. She doesn't like. No, she didn't let anybody down anyway. Stop hate or something, you know what I mean? All right, we're good. Look. Unacceptable, unacceptable, unacceptable. And we got. Remember the mayor, or is it the governor? Was it mayor of New York? He was like, hey, if one person dies of COVID that's too many. Okay? Now I'm gonna take a bunch of elderly people and put them in the old folks home and lock them in there, and then they'll all die. Okay, but we have you on record as saying one is one too many. Yeah, yeah, one person died. Yeah, I know, but there's 18,000 people dead. Yeah, one. I'm telling you, it's in. This insane talk is fucking us up. We're not getting shit done for a reason. We're satiated. It's. I feel like I've been to the gym. You didn't go to the gym. I don't know about that. I made a commitment to the gym. Yeah, but you didn't go. I sort of feel like maybe I did. Cause I made a commitment to it. So you know what I'm saying?

[Diane Farr]

Is anything ever gonna change, Carolla?

[Adam Carolla]

Yes, it's gonna change. Right now. We're gonna get rid of Justin Trudeau and his fucking cloth bracelet. We'll get rid of Biden and all those fucking idiots, and we'll have adults show up and make rules. And kick some ass and fix shit. That's what we'll do. Just like a football team.

[Diane Farr]

I hope so. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Diane Farr]

Bob Dylan versus the Granny Grim Creeper, Mayor of New Orleans. I mean.

[Adam Carolla]

Mmm. Gato. Things will get better. I'm telling you. That fucking so. I was. So. What? Remind me. The thing that made me angry. I don't know why. I don't know why. Okay. I'm sitting in Malibu eating brunch, right?

[Diane Farr]

As you do.

[Adam Carolla]

Malibu. Eating brunch? Middle of pch. Middle of Malibu. I'm sitting in a place, eating the brunch. The colonies are 100ft behind me. Average home at the colonies, 22 million. Yeah, well, they'll go up to 40 or 50, but you're not getting into the colonies. You're not getting in for under 15 million bucks. That's 100ft behind me. And I'm sitting in this. Sitting in this dine, this restaurant with a bunch of well heeled white people with their fucking dogs sitting around eating mimosas. And I see this big sign on the wall, which is always my favorite. It's a painting. Joe's got it somewhere. But you got to zoom in on it. I always take a picture of it. It always makes me angry because it says, welcome all ages, all colors, all sizes, all cultures, all genders. Well, there's only two of those. All abilities, all religions and all creatures. All people are safe in this place.

[Diane Farr]

So my emotional support, cockroach, can be in there?

[Adam Carolla]

That's right. All right. You're all here and you're all safe. No matter. This is Malibu 2025. People discriminating against the ladies or the heavyset folks or the age, I don't know, all ages. Everything. This, by the way, it's all good. Until the guy's brother from New Orleans gets in the F150 and drives it through the fucking restaurant and kills all you assholes who are sitting under the sign. It's all good for now, but not when the guy comes in and starts shooting everybody. Then it wouldn't work. But obviously it's all virtue signaling. It means nothing. It means nothing. But I say it's worse than meaning nothing. Because they don't need a plan. If people start shooting that place up, they gotta sign. You see what I'm saying? I guess my plan would be to hide behind the sign, but, yeah, everyone's. Well, they should have had this sign up at Bourbon street, right? Could have saved those people.

[Diane Farr]

Brutal.

[Adam Carolla]

It's a bad time. There's way too many of These proclamations. There's way too much of this. We need some accountability and your general platitudes of everything's great bullshit. Get it together.

[Diane Farr]

Did that guy leave a manifesto or was he just toasted drunk and decided to bust out his ISIS flag and run people down? I didn't look all the way into it.

[Adam Carolla]

He was like, weaponized by isis, basically.

[Diane Farr]

And usually it's after you break up with a chick.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. But anyway, white supremacy, that's the biggest problem this country has. All right. Heard it, heard it before. All right, let's take a break. Do the news right after this. Him's hair. There you go, men. When you leave the house, you check your phone, you check your wallet, you check your key. How about your hair? How about your look? If you're experiencing a little hair loss, well, you may not feel as confident as you could. And that's where Hims comes in. Get your confidence back. Hims provides a range of Dr. Trusted loss. Hair loss, I should say treatments. It's a loss. It's emotional loss as well. But it's hair as well that leads to bigger problems. And let's not let that happen. Chewable oral spray serum. It's all there. Do it all from the comfort of your own home. Simple 100% online process. Just answer a few questions and a medical provider will determine if treatment is right for you. If prescribed, treatment is sent direct to your door. No insurance needed. One low price covers everything from treatments to ongoing care. It's HIMSS, right, Dawson.

[Dawson]

Start your free online visit today at hims.com Adam that's H I M S.com Adam for your personalized hair loss treatment options. Hims.com Adam Results vary based on studies of topical and oral minoxidation. Prescription products require an online consultation with a healthcare provider who will determine if a prescription is appropriate. Restrictions apply. See website for full details and important safety information.

[Adam Carolla]

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[Dawson]

It's time to check Adam's voicemail.

[Adam Carolla]

Ace, man. The problem with the world today, Too many dudes sitting down to pee. Get it all.

[Dawson]

You can leave us a message at 888-634-1744.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, there's also something. Speaking of nothing. Kylie, Kelsey, who's got a podcast out. Who's Mark? Brad. What's the. What's the Kelsey brother?

[Diane Farr]

Jason.

[Adam Carolla]

Jason. Jason. Hate that name. Jason's wife has a podcast, and here's the description of it. It's called Not Gonna Lie with Kylie Kelce. Despite her best efforts to remain on the sidelines, being part of football's favorite family means the world has found out about Kylie Kelce. Now armed with the microphone. It's always funny to me when people go, I don't wanna get involved with this, but I'm involved with this. It's like, there's a way to do that. It always cracked me up. Like when speaking of football, Walter Payton had a prized turbo Porsche, maybe 1987. His son put it up for sale, and his son was selling it like, this is my dad's pride and joy, and he wanted me to have it. Now it's for sale. It's like, what? Yeah, yeah. But, you know, you don't have to sell it. I know it's your dad. It's your dad's most prized possession. Yeah. And he gave it to his son. Yeah. Now I'm selling it like, well, but you don't have to sell your dad's most. You don't have to do this. Do you. Do you want me to take that Tony Bennett CD off eBay? Yeah, I'm just saying sell the Porsche. Spare me the speech where it's your dad's pride and joy that you're selling, that he died and left you.

[Diane Farr]

Damn.

[Adam Carolla]

So that you could have it, not sell it. But. So sorry, Kelsey. Sorry. Sorry. She couldn't remain on the sidelines anymore. She had to pick up a microphone. And you can join her because she's ready to open up on her own terms. Join Kylie each week on Not Gonna Lie as she shares her personal story beyond being just a football wife, setting the record straight on gossip and speaking her truths on topics like modern parenting, social media trends, women in sports and more. Plus, each episode features Kylie sitting down for revealing conversations with special guests across the pop culture, across pop culture, sports, entertainment, New episodes every other Thursday. Blah, blah, blah, social media, blah, blah, blah. Anyway, she's going to speak her truth and she's not going to be stifled.

[Diane Farr]

When are you going on?

[Adam Carolla]

This Wednesday. Okay. All right, let's do some news.

[Diane Farr]

All right. Great. Skip Bayless is accused of offering 1.5 million for sex in a workplace misconduct lawsuit filed by former Fox Sports hair stylist.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, you know, it's. Oh, the hairstyle.

[Diane Farr]

She's a pretty lady.

[Adam Carolla]

They're the nuttiest of all.

[Diane Farr]

They are.

[Adam Carolla]

Every of every group. Like, they would be, you know, there's like, breeds. They'd be the Dalmatians of jobs. Dalmatians are crazy dogs. Hairstylists are all crazy.

[Diane Farr]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. You want to know my theory? Why?

[Diane Farr]

What?

[Adam Carolla]

Well, they didn't start off smart.

[Diane Farr]

Mercury poisoning.

[Adam Carolla]

It's a little of that. Okay. They didn't start smart or they wouldn't be. They'd be working for SpaceX. If they started smart, they started middle dumb. Right. Then they spent their whole life spraying Aquanet and With a hairdryer, heating it up, weaponizing it. It's just a cloud of breathing in.

[Diane Farr]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

Those. Those propellants and Aquanet heated up and just. And it ate their brain.

[Diane Farr]

Like Mexican cleaning ladies.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Diane Farr]

Sniff bleach all day.

[Adam Carolla]

They're all nuts.

[Diane Farr]

Yeah. Well, yeah, she claims in the suit that, you know, it started off kind of harmless where you just. Bayless talked.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, she fucked up Bayless hair, too. Yeah. I could see once when he was doing it where they'd spray the dark on the side. He had like a. I remember, like a racing stripe on his side. He should be suing her for fucking his hair up.

[Diane Farr]

Yeah. She claimed that eventually it got up to. He was calling her voluptuous and saying, I will pay you $1.5 million to sleep with me. Which sounds oddly specific. How high are you going, Carolla, on this haircut lady?

[Adam Carolla]

So he didn't offer her money to keep quiet. He offered her money for sex.

[Diane Farr]

Yeah. And apparently, I guess she turned it down and then later filed a lawsuit.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't. I mean, let's try to unpack this.

[Diane Farr]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

If you said, all right, sex is personal, but there is something called prostitution and porn, you know?

[Diane Farr]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

I was thinking, remember that job, fluffer for porn? The fluffer. You sort of think of that as like the lowest on the totem pole.

[Diane Farr]

Important job, though.

[Adam Carolla]

Important, but you're the fluffer. Let me ask you guys a hypothetical. I haven't asked this one in a while. You know, at the Strip club. After, like, five dances, the sort of chick with the fat ass comes out with the Windex and, like, wipes down the pole and the mirror and shit in the back because the chicks had their tits against it, were breathing on it and got paw prints on it. And all this kissing potion on the. Would you rather your daughter work as a stripper or the strip club or basically drive the Zamboni after they fucked up the stage? It's kind of a loser job. It means your daughter's got a fat ass and she's up there just mopping up after this. Wiping the glass down, wiping the pole down.

[Diane Farr]

Maybe she can work her way up to stripper.

[Adam Carolla]

I would make an argument. I could make an argument for I'd rather my daughter be a stripper at that club than be the one who's mopping up after the strippers.

[Diane Farr]

Yeah, the thankless job.

[Adam Carolla]

Thankless. And also means you're not hot enough, you know, you're not going to get tips. Okay. So, you know he's offered her money to have sex.

[Diane Farr]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

She said no.

[Diane Farr]

Yes. And apparently there's a culture of that over there. There's another Charlie Dixon.

[Adam Carolla]

It's 1.5.

[Diane Farr]

Allegedly.

[Adam Carolla]

It's 1.5 for one time.

[Diane Farr]

Yeah. It wasn't clear, but, yeah, I think so.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know. See, for me as a dude, my whole life has just been. People pay me to do shit I don't want to do.

[Diane Farr]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

You know what I mean?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

Like, they go, you want to go to Manson? You want to go to. Let's see, where'd I go? Mansfield, Pennsylvania. It's oil drilling country. There's a college over there. You wanna do a set in the snow? And then I'll go, no. And then they'll go, how about they give you $10,000? And I'll go, when is it? And then my early life was like, hey, here's a shovel. Dig footings in front of Dr. Fagenbaum's house.

[Diane Farr]

Yeah. Speaking of, I'll be in Jacksonville this weekend for a mixed martial arts seminar.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. I'll be in Vegas doing two shows at Kimmel's. Right. But not for free. My whole life has just been, here's a big pile of roofing shit, go put it up on the roof. Here's a bunch of plywood. Go put it up on the roof. And I'd go, well, I don't want to do that. And then they go, well, give me $12 an hour, and I'll go, okay. I would just go do It. That's my entire adult life. That's all I've done. It's just, I get paid to do shit I don't want to do. Now it's better because now I'd much rather be on stage in air conditioning holding a beer than climbing up on the roof doing earthquake rehab. But for me, because I'm a dude and sex doesn't really factor in, I would just look at his 1.5 million bucks to do something I didn't want to do and fucking hammer that check. You know what I mean?

[Diane Farr]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

Although you got to get that money up front.

[Diane Farr]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Because when a dude comes his fucking, all of a sudden, he can't find his checkbook. Right. Like, yeah, one point. Oh, I think I left my checkbook. It's probably out in the glove box. You have a scene from the Blues Brothers. It's out in the glove box. We're just going to go out to the Blues Mobile and write you the Bayless Mobile and go ahead and write you that check out. It's going to go ahead. I use the glove box is sort of a little desk to make it out with. So I gotta go out and then you just hear the thing fire up, peel out. Yes. Also now she's gonna get 4 million or whatever for saying no just by telling a lawyer about it. I know. So it's a win. Win for her. She could have taken the one and a half or I wouldn't get more. I know. God.

[Diane Farr]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Diane Farr]

Little cute Faragi. Now she's rich.

[Adam Carolla]

So he just offered her money for sex. I don't know. And. And then, and then you have to think about, like, does that mean it's a hostile work environment?

[Diane Farr]

Yeah, that's what she's alleging. That's why she's getting the money, is because the whole entire staff, everybody was grabbing her butt and kind of demeaning her. I don't like that, but I get it. Sort of, you know, 1.5 million I don't get.

[Adam Carolla]

I would like it if a co worker offered me some cash to blow me or something. I would like that. Even if I didn't accept, I'd like to know it was out there like a rainy day fund, you know, flattery. Flattery. Also. She could. Because she. I'd say, you know, skip, I'll just put that in my hip pocket and think about it for a minute. And it's like you come home and the transmission blows up in your car or something. And you go, the bill's $11,000 and you just come back, you're like, hey, Skip, remember we were talking about fucking? I think I'm ready to go. You know what I mean? Or just rainy day fun. Okay, so she's pissed.

[Diane Farr]

Yeah, she's pissed.

[Adam Carolla]

She's a hairstylist getting some money.

[Diane Farr]

Yeah. Next up, your favorite, Justin Trudeau says he will resign as Prime Minister of Canada. Yeah, it's coming down.

[Adam Carolla]

My thing with the experiment, whether it's the, you know, the da, we elect the DA and then the DA soft on crime, and then everyone gets pissed off because there's more crime and they're smashing grabs and street takeovers. And then at some point we go, we don't want this anymore. People don't want this. Like what I'm saying about Trudeau, or what I'm saying about Biden, or what I'm saying about Gavin Newsom, forget about politics. It says, let's remove Democrat, Republicans, just remove it all. Whatever this is, people don't really want it. They like the thought of it, but they don't really want what they're selling. What I mean is like, I like the notion of a sanctuary city. Like, I go, oh, that's good. Yeah, they're kind, they're warm hearted, they welcome and they don't judge. You've seen the sign at the omelet place in Malibu. That's who I wanna be. It's like, all right. Then a bunch of homeless migrant guys start showing up and flopping out on your sidewalk. And then we go, I don't want this. I don't want this. Cuz my daughter has to walk to school and she stepped over a guy and he's fucking high on fentanyl and I don't want it. And eventually it gets to some. Or we go, I don't want the police coming in the community. I want community policing. I want the people of the community. And the next thing you know, shit turns into a shit. And then they go, yeah, we want the police back. I'm just saying whatever Trudeau is pitching, which is sort of further left than what Newsom is pitching or what Biden is pitching, we don't want it. The people Canada don't want it. The people of the United States don't want it. We just don't want it cuz it doesn't work. So let's just move on and do some shit that works. But here he goes. Over the holidays, I've also had a chance to reflect and have had long talks with my family about our future throughout the course of My career, any success I have personally achieved has been because of their support and with their encouragement. Hey, you dropped your bracelet, homo. Last night over dinner. Oh, I had to talk. I told my kids, remember? Remember when I told you RFK Jr. Was a hero to me yesterday? When I said. Because when his wife said, what's up with the thing? He's like, yeah, she's wrong. I'm like, because all the pussies have to do this. I talk to my wife. I don't do anything without my wife. You know, Gavin Newsom's wife isn't the first lady. She's the first partner. Yeah, we don't want it. All right, but anyway, yes. You talked to your fucking nine year old. Did you talk to your nine year old about quarantining everyone for two fucking weeks, even if they were vaxxed and had Covid? Did you talk to him about that puss? Or when you fucking shut down the checking accounts of the truckers who were striking, did you talk to your 9 year old about that? Or. Daddy just go do that on his own. All right, here we go. Well, go back 10 seconds. He had to talk to his family. My daughter just got done. Because of their bracelet. Here we go. Sorry. Has been because of their support and with their encouragement. So last night over dinner, I told my kids about the decision that I'm sharing with you today. I intend to resign. All right? As party. First off, just resign, bitch. Don't need the part where you fucking sat down with your kids and your wife and over dinner. Just be a fucking man. Just fucking resign. Nobody wants what you're fucking selling. Resign and get the fuck out. All right, Sorry that I'm sharing with you today. I intend to resign as party leader. As prime minister after the party selects its next leader through a robust, nationwide competitive process.

[Diane Farr]

Robust.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, but what if there's another Covid situation who's gonna lock everyone in their fucking house? Who's gonna strip everyone's civil liberties away if you're gone? Trudeau, get the fuck outta here. Ugh. The fact that we even have to experiment with these assholes is the sad part. All right, good. Trudeau's gone. Here we go. And it's going to go, by the way, it's going that way. Worldwide. It's gonna go that way. In Europe, it's go that way. In Germany, it's going England, it's gonna go that way. It already went that way. In Italy, it's just gonna go that way. Which is. They can't. It's Not a sustainable way of governing.

[Diane Farr]

I don't even understand why he's so unpopular, to be honest.

[Adam Carolla]

He's super left and super woke and that fucks up every city, state, country.

[Diane Farr]

We're at the backlash stage.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. We're in the. We let you drive. You drove off a cliff, and now we're going to do the driving stage.

[Diane Farr]

Yeah, yeah, I hear you.

[Adam Carolla]

Now, I don't know why we need to experiment in the first place, but evidently we have to experiment. We have to try it.

[Diane Farr]

All right, well, here's some more political stuff for you. A good friend of the show, Rob Schneider, pitched LA Times, billionaire owner to fund conservative version of the View. Yeah, that's an interesting thing. Yeah. The SNL alum has been outspoken supporter of Donald Trump and wants a billionaire owner of Los Angeles Time to fund a talk show to rival the View that would appeal to conservatives, according to a report.

[Adam Carolla]

It's kind of interesting. I mean, the View has completely. There's a tweet. I think I liked it. I didn't tell you about it, Joe, but Sunny Hostin, she just went. They just go nuts about. They're now completely batshit crazy.

[Diane Farr]

Who?

[Adam Carolla]

The View. Oh, yeah. They've crossed over into some realm where I think they only exist so that conservative outlets can make fun of them.

[Diane Farr]

Yeah, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't even know what they're talking about anymore.

[Diane Farr]

Engagement baiting.

[Adam Carolla]

She's talking about January 6th, which is I. I love the Jan.6. I love that we're still talking about this shit. I love what they do. They go, they showed up for the insurrection in body armor with zip ties. It's like zip ties. That's how you show up for an insurrection. An arm. Okay. You show up for an armed insurrection with zip ties.

[Diane Farr]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Historically, you gotta show up with weapons.

[Diane Farr]

Yeah. Machine guns.

[Adam Carolla]

No one is armed with zip ties. You're armed with weapons. All right. But anyway, we'll play Sonny. She loves it. I think we need to find moral clarity in this country. And I just remember after January 6th, you had someone like Mitch McConnell placing the blame on January 6th, where it belonged, squarely on Donald Trump, Trump's shoulders. And then you started seeing people backtrack that and not. And losing their moral center. You had Condoleezza Rice, I believe, on this very show, saying, you know, we need to move on from January 6th. I say, no, you don't move on, because January 6th was an atrocity. It was one of the worst moments in American history and nobody died. Well, one person died. When you think about the Worst moments in American history, you know, like World War II. Things that happened, like the Holocaust, chattel slavery. We need to never forget because past becomes. I don't know if the Holocaust is American history, by the way. I think that's more European stuff. But anyway, so she's basically comparing that to the Holocaust, which makes her an idiot and which should piss off Jewish people, even though they won't say anything. But they should definitely be pissed off. Nobody died except for one person died and that person was shot by a Capitol cop. That's all who died. You can say other people committed suicide later on in life, had a heart.

[Diane Farr]

Attack the next day.

[Adam Carolla]

I think that is not somebody who died during. Nobody died and there were no weapons. But other than that, it was a big problem. All right, keep going. Yeah. Fucking nuts. Good for Rob.

[Diane Farr]

Let's lighten it up with a little Hooters story.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm gonna. I'm gonna tell Rob.

[Diane Farr]

Yeah, yeah. Before.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Diane Farr]

What do you think about that?

[Adam Carolla]

Listen, Gutfeld's number one in late night or late night tv. They got. Listen, Gutfeld's got nothing over there. There's. You show. You show up to Gutfeld. I show up a half hour before the show. I'm the first person there. There's nobody there. Then these other guys, Tyrus and these people, they start wandering in like six minutes before the show starts. There's nothing going on. Then they all just go down and sit down and start the show. There's no. You go do a late night show. Late night shows are floors and floors of writers and producers and craft service and backstage. You go in and do the Tonight Show. It took up a whole fucking office building. I mean, the nut. On a show like that, one episode, Gutfeld could do 65 episodes for the price.

[Diane Farr]

Yeah, my buddy Adam does it all the time. He says he just rolls in there, has jokes ready and goes.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah. So that's going to be the way. So, yes, the View, the average. I don't know what the average salary is on the View, but they're paying each one of those chicks probably 5 million bucks. I mean, averaging out to 5 million a year. I mean, you're looking at 25 million bucks of salary, by the way. 25. 5 fucking dodos getting 25 million bucks. Rob Schneider can. He'll get female comedians and offer them 175 grand a year to do this show. And it'll be stripped down, it'll be lean and mean, and then it'll beat the shit out of the View. I I'm gonna pitch Rob something.

[Diane Farr]

All right?

[Adam Carolla]

Rob did a movie called the Hot Chick.

[Diane Farr]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Where he dressed up as a chick for the whole movie. What? If I pitch Rob, is this going to be an all ladies view thing? He's going to be like, yeah, but like. But you want it to be funny, right, Rob? You want to bring some heat, right? Yeah. I will resurrect the Flip Wilson Geraldine character. Flip Wilson had a character named Geraldine. He's like, hey, sucker. Woo. Sassy black woman. Yeah. I will call myself Geraldine. Just no one will know. No one will get their fucking reference. I will go in as Sassy and black. I'll go Tyler Perry on his fucking ass.

[Diane Farr]

If it's cgi, like blackface, Is it blackface still? If it's no, I'm gonna look like a 3D.

[Adam Carolla]

No. I'm going full prosthetics, full fat suit, full. Think Sherri Shepherd, Big Mama 10, 15 years ago. Yeah, sort of Big mama. Madea geral. Find me 10 seconds at Geraldine. Go, you sucker. And I'll just come in there and I'll sit right in the middle and I'll be like fanning myself. I'll be getting hot. I'll be yelling shit out the whole time. You know, I'll make sure and say, ask a question. Oh, here's we got Geraldine. Admiration of everyone. Yes, Tonight, this is your life. Geraldine Jones. Now, that's not a real lady. That's Cliff Wilson. This is too much. Yeah, well, come on. Don't touch me. Don't touch me. Stop. Touch me. Rob, you don't know me that well. You haven't been in my life but two minutes. Honey, I'm Ralph Edwards. I don't care if you Prince Edwards. Just say, geraldine, will you join me on the stage where we have your check? All right, Geraldine, I'll say, will you join me on the stage? Yes, Ralph, I will. All right, Just go right ahead. Don't walk behind me. Ralph, I'm just gonna do all this.

[Diane Farr]

Yeah, yeah, I'll go.

[Adam Carolla]

After you, Ralph. We equal, right? Very unusual. A man following me. Oh, I want to tell you. We. We just want to tell everybody about your life. It's all in here. I tell you everything you've done everything, Everything, everything, everything. Sucker. Ralph, if you tell them everything, tomorrow this place is going to be a bowling alley.

[Diane Farr]

All right, if you knew Geraldine, pitch Rob.

[Adam Carolla]

I'll try get Rob on the phone and I will pitch me as the modern day Geraldine.

[Diane Farr]

Oh, my God.

[Adam Carolla]

To anchor his new all female counterpoint to the view, that would be awesome, right?

[Diane Farr]

Yeah, definitely. We got some great footage out of hell, if I know of a Hooters waitress trying to make out with the cop during a DUI arrest.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, okay.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

We're gonna make out here. Okay, we're gonna.

[Adam Carolla]

No, we are not here. Turn off.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Turn off the lights. We're gonna wake up.

[Adam Carolla]

Wait, wait. Stay right there.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Oh, okay.

[Adam Carolla]

All right.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I gotta pee, bro.

[Adam Carolla]

I know. Okay. Do you want to try this first exercise for me?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I will do anything for you, daddy. God damn.

[Adam Carolla]

All right.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

You in that suit, I'm anything for you.

[Adam Carolla]

Can you put your feet together? I'm put my feet together. And your hands.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Side of your side. Whatever you say, daddy.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay, now, before we. No, I was grabbing my flashlight.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Oh, whatever you want, daddy.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay, before we start.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Before we start. Hey, fair shark, fair shark, do you.

[Adam Carolla]

Are you wearing right now?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Are you wearing contacts right now?

[Adam Carolla]

No, I'm wearing glasses.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

No, I'm wearing. I am wearing contacts.

[Adam Carolla]

She's showing her tits.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I am wearing contacts.

[Adam Carolla]

Sophia, you see this?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I am wearing contacts.

[Adam Carolla]

Can you put your shirt down?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I am wearing contacts. I swear to God, I'm wearing contacts.

[Adam Carolla]

I want you to. I want you to.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Thankfully, I seconds. I am wearing contacts. Sophia, you might have glasses, but I am wearing contacts.

[Adam Carolla]

Hey, Sophia.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I swear to God, I'm wearing contacts.

[Adam Carolla]

Like, two seconds.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Why are you such a nerd, bro? Bro, don't be such a nerd, bro.

[Adam Carolla]

What do you think? What do you think is higher batting average? Would you say, hot chick offering up a blowjob to get out of whatever?

[Diane Farr]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Or dude with two grand cash, hot.

[Diane Farr]

Chick, blowjob all day because you got to get some pencil pushing cop, you know, you offer him two GS and then he like, gets all, like, nervous and like those. What if internal affairs gets after me about this?

[Adam Carolla]

What if this is a blowjob?

[Diane Farr]

Blowjob is like, at that point, you're already in there. I mean, what's really ruining it for all those guys?

[Adam Carolla]

What do you think the number cash wise would have to be to have got even with the blow job?

[Diane Farr]

I'll say 8 to 10,000. Not 1.5 million.

[Adam Carolla]

1.5. Yeah, she's from Florida, God bless her heart. Yeah.

[Diane Farr]

Follow her on Instagram.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, she looks pretty cute.

[Diane Farr]

You know, I feel bad for her, you know, she's like, worst day of her life was on body cam. She just slam hammered trying to get out of a ticket, get out of a dui, but, you know, damn, it's fun fodder.

[Adam Carolla]

For us. I kind of feel sorry for her boyfriend.

[Diane Farr]

Yeah, exactly.

[Adam Carolla]

Because that is not the information you'd want out on your girlfriend that she just basically offered up a blowjob. But also there's a thing, it's called dude maintain where you're drunk and you try to pretend like you're not drunk.

[Diane Farr]

Now she was at that point she was in that very myopic stage where she's just repeating what he said and like doing. Going back to like hot chick mode where, oh, I could get anything if I just act cute. And it didn't work out for her. But wait, with no body cam, how does this story go?

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, I mean, that's the whole thing. No body cam. She could say he grabbed my titty and I don't know.

[Diane Farr]

Yeah, exactly.

[Adam Carolla]

The body cam ends up the body cam stuff that they thought was going to stop police brutality actually ended up stopping more cases of false allegations against cops.

[Diane Farr]

That's true. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. It's kind of interesting, I think, both sides. Yeah, yeah.

[Diane Farr]

It stopped them from being able to just do whatever they want because they, they do and. But it also stopped guys from lying and saying, oh, you. You know.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, work both ways. But they didn't think the unintended consequences is it ended up fucking up more people who made false claims against the cops. But they never thought it was even there in the first place. We had a. We did a man show bit once that I didn't write that was like. I think it was called Beavers instead of Hooters or something. I don't know. I can't remember that bit. But there was a man show bit that was like a send up of hooters.

[Diane Farr]

I remember that. Yeah, yeah. It's striking across.

[Adam Carolla]

Was it called Beavers? I can't even remember if. And Hooters. They're not even a Hooters out here anymore. I don't think so.

[Diane Farr]

I think they all.

[Adam Carolla]

They got like buffalo wild. Winged them up.

[Diane Farr]

Exactly. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

And Tilted Kilt or something.

[Diane Farr]

Tilted Kilt is the comparable version today. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Is that what it is?

[Diane Farr]

Like cute chicks, you know?

[Adam Carolla]

Uh huh. Yeah. Was it called Beavers? We'll see if there's a man show. If there's a man show bit. Like I said, I didn't write it, I didn't act in it. I didn't. It was all one of our writers and then went and shot it and whatever. Maybe I punched up the script a little bit, but I don't. I don't really. I don't really know all Right. You got Diane Farce waiting out there. Or she's gonna come in and she's gonna zoom in.

[Diane Farr]

All right, well, the last.

[Adam Carolla]

She's zooming in, right?

[Diane Farr]

Yeah, she's zooming in.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay, Sorry, go ahead.

[Diane Farr]

Yeah, the last crazy story is a tech entrepreneur.

[Adam Carolla]

Wait, Beavers. Is this called Beavers?

[Diane Farr]

Wait, here it is. Oh, wow.

[Adam Carolla]

You found in the mood for something different.

[Dawson]

Then come into Beavers.

[Adam Carolla]

America's favorite new theme restaurant. Beavers. Good times, great drinks and mouthwatering food. That'll leave you saying, we love beavers.

[Diane Farr]

I want the clam strips, and I.

[Adam Carolla]

Have the big beaver. The big beaver done any way you like it. So how do you like your big beaver? I like my big beaver hot and juicy with lots of cheese.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I like my big beaver pink in.

[Adam Carolla]

The middle.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

All the time. For a nice big picnic, try our box lunches.

[Adam Carolla]

Beavers. There's one opening up near you. I must have done an out mustard. A man show. Outdoors show. We would do the man show of women's. We did the. We did the women's show. I guess we'd do an outdoor show.

[Diane Farr]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

That must have been like, oh, we went fishing with the fridge. Yeah, Yeah.

[Diane Farr]

I remember this episode.

[Adam Carolla]

I was just telling somebody, the fridge. He gave me very sagely advice. I caught a fish when we were fishing with the fridge, and he looked at me and he went, I go, fridge, I caught a fish. And he looked at me and he goes, you done worked your way up to a zero, son. And I always thought about that. Yeah. Felt good getting insulted by the fridge. All I remember is the fridge. Two things. Huge bear, like paws. Bits with not a Super bowl ring, but a big ass ring on it. And every. We're just drinking beer on the boat and you just hand him your beer bottle and he'd just go, plop. Just put. Take his. Take his big bear paw on it, hook it on his ring and just. It was like. You just hand it to him and he's like, pop, pop, pop. Another cold one, Frederick. Pop. And he was gonna put a pig in the ground at home. He was pumped up. Cause he was gonna put a pig in the ground. Oh, yeah. It must have been the outdoor show. All right. Old friend, Diane Farr, who's very interesting, she was. I met her on Loveliness. She was a co host on Loveline a million years ago, and we've always stayed French. She's a great actress. Put her in my movies. My love interest. It was all great. The great Dan Farr is going to join me Right after this man do it's time for your New Year's resolution. How about you take a little time for yourself this year? You take do a little turn for the happy hygiene with Mando 72 hour odor control for the whole body, Pits, package, feet, butt cracks, stomach folds, all the good parts. It'll take care of all of them. Three Formats Invisible Spray Solid Stick I use that the most. I would say Invisible Cream $0.04 Bourbon Leather Mount Fuji ProSport Clover Woods I think Clover woods is my favorite. Clinically proven to control odor better than a shower with soap alone. And like I said, I use this product. I actually joined a gym recently and started taking it with me to the gym. Hit the pits before I leave. But again, you can go all over with Mando. They cover all your parts. Special Offer New customers get five bucks off a starter pack with our exclusive code and link. Use the code adam@mando podcast.com that's M A N D O podcast.com Adam and save five bucks off the starter pack. It's good stuff, right Dawson?

[Dawson]

Mando Starter Pack is perfect for new customers. It comes with a solid stick Deodorant Cream Tube Deodorant two free products of your choice and free shipping. New customers get $5 off a starter pack with our exclusive code that equates to over 40% off your starter pack. Use code adamndopodcast.com M A N D O podcast.com Adam please support our show and tell them we sent you Simplisafe.

[Adam Carolla]

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[Dawson]

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[Adam Carolla]

Homes.com knows that when it comes to home shopping, it's never just about the house or condo. It's about the home. And what makes a home is more than just a house or property. It's the location. It's the neighborhood. If you have kids, it's also schools, nearby, parks, transportation options, all the above. That's why homes.com goes above and beyond to bring home shoppers the in depth information they need to find the right home. And when I say in depth, I'm talking about deep. That's right. Each listing features comprehensive information about the neighborhood, complete with a video guide. They also have details about local schools with test scores, state rankings and student to teacher ratio. They even have an agent directory with the sales history of each agent. So when it comes to finding a home, not just a house, this is everything you need to know all in one place. Homes.com homes.com we've done your homework.

[Dawson]

The Adam Carolla show presents Diane Farr's birthday cocktail party for September 7th. Let's see who's invited. Here's the daughter of Henry VIII and Anne Boleyn, Queen of England and Ireland, Elizabeth I. Let's welcome the first coach of the Cleveland Browns and their namesake, Paul Brown. Here's the guy who directed A Streetcar Named Desire on the Waterfront and East of Eden. Elia Kazan. Half of Hewlett Packard is here. Let's welcome David Packard. Here's the co founder of the LP pga, Louise Suggs. American paranormal investigator Ed Warren is here. From Getty Oil. Let's welcome John Paul Getty junior Gloria Gaynor will survive. Marge Simpson is here. That's Julie Kavner from the Pretenders. Let's welcome Chrissy Hind. Tom Petty's keyboardist is here. His name is Benmont Tench. Here's songwriter Diane Warren, the female vocalist for Afternoon Delight, Margot Chapman from nwa. Let's welcome Eric Wright, AKA Eazy E from Saturday Night Live fame. Leslie Jones is here. Here's actress Shannon Elizabeth Evan. Rachel Wood is here. And that'll be the day. Let's welcome Buddy Holly. Diane Farr is on the Adam Carolla Show.

[Adam Carolla]

Man, that is the longest and most eclectic birthday list I think we've ever done. All I have is Todd Bridges from Facts of Life. Oh no. From Diff'rent Strokes. All I have is Todd Bridges. On my. My birthday, I only have Todd Bridges.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

What month are you?

[Adam Carolla]

May 27th.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

But I'm like a Christmas New Year's baby. So there's far more action happening around Christmas, New Year's.

[Adam Carolla]

I wish it could be explained away, but I think of it, I think it's more of a just sort of metaphor for me. Who do you got? You get the Hewlett Packard guy, and I got Todd Bridges. And you get Chrissy Hines. Chrissy Hines. I love the Pretenders.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

I can't believe you got Chrissy Hine and I didn't.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

And Buddy Holly.

[Adam Carolla]

I love Buddy Holly. Buddy Holly's so good that there's a great band called the Hollies that were named after Buddy Holly.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

That's.

[Adam Carolla]

Not only did we get Buddy Holly, but we got the Hollies, which is a great band. All right.

[Diane Farr]

Anyway.

[Adam Carolla]

Dan Farr, Fire country cbs. It's Bruckheimer's bag. And it's. And I think I was just sent an article about that you wrote to the Hollywood Reporter a couple of weeks ago. I don't even know if the person who sent it to me knew you were coming on, but they knew we're friends. And it was a very interesting article about directing. Because you're now directing, right?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I did. I did one. So now, of course, I think I'm a director because I've done that whole one hour. But for, I don't know, 400 episodes of TV, I've had a front row look at directors for 30 years. And most of them make it harder than it needs to be. And if it's hard on me or you on camera for a minimum of 12 hours. And that's 14 to 16 for the crew.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

So my article was like, this is left over from when we shot with one camera, one camera that had film rolling inside of it. And it was too expensive to print all of it. You'd have to shoot every angle one at a time. And that's been done for 15 years. But we kept the same hours. So when you work on long form television, it's not like we're doing 80 hour weeks for four months or one week on, one week off or two days on two days off, it's nine to 10 months. Just kind of like the death of a relationship. Mental health. I was like, I. I think there's a way to do this in 10 hours.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I agree. The hours are really, really long. And also there's a lot of unnecessary Stuff. I don't know why I've always complained. They always have to go get the insert shot. Like, I'll show you this how they do it. I don't know if they still do it this way. They go show the car pulling up to the driveway and the guy gets out of the car. Then show the close up of the hand turning the key on the front door. Then show the door close. It's like I just put him in the living room. It's his house. How do we know how he got in? Like, you can't just have him pull up and then just cut the living room. We have to get a shot of a guy putting a key and turning it. Yeah, we gotta get the insert. So I'm like, what do you need that for? Just have him be in his house. And I don't know if they still do that. Do they still do that?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

They still do that. Except now most of the time you have two or three. Sometimes we have five cameras on a given day. So on a day where I had to do inserts, like, literally, it's supposed to be a firefighter with oxygen on their back and the tank is supposed to be almost empty. So they wanted an insert of the gauge. So while I was shooting another scene, I took my third camera and I sent it over to the corner with somebody else's gloved hand and shot the insert while I was shooting something valuable, emotional, important. Because I, like you, do not want to stop a whole day to shoot this finite thing that probably won't be included.

[Adam Carolla]

I saw and always made me think of you. I've been seeing this commercial. I think Dennis leary is coming on a show or is on a comedy on fox now. And you work with Dennis for so many years, and I have no understanding of him at all. I feel like I've worked with everyone or sort of know everyone, or certainly in the comedy world, where I go, oh, that guy's a cool guy, or he's a nice guy, or that guy's kind of a douche, or I don't like that guy, or I know that guy and he's awesome. I have no. I know nothing of denis leary. I feel like I've seen him my whole life. I've never been at a club and had him perform in front of me or after me. I've never been at a party and seen him at a cocktail party. I've never done a project where he's been there. I've done everything, and I have no Dennis leary stories. And I can't figure out is he reclusive? What is he, what is Dennis Leary? I'd love to talk to him, but. But I've never seen him anywhere. I don't feel like I see him on the circuit, talk shows and things like that.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

He's an east coast guy, so I think that's the first thing. He's much more New York and Connecticut and I think you're both kind of similar in that you have your own fiefdoms. I don't think he's gone out on the road for years except for his charities. And that's more like comics come Home in Boston where he shows the event and he's bringing all the comics that he works with to him. Sort of like how, how you build sort of an empire. So I don't think he really goes out on the road and then any of the talk shows that I can think of we were filming. Like if he was going to do one of the late night shows, he'd do it on a work date and he'd, he'd have the studio fly him over, but everything else was just on the east coast.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Is he nice? Is he a workaholic? Like what, what's his vibe?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

He's really smart, he's really funny, he's really loyal. He's a great guy. I don't know if he's a workaholic. He's kind of like a hockeyaholic. He plays a lot of hockey. He keeps a great stable of friends and he's super loyal to them. When I was doing the shows with him, he wrote them, they produced them, he starred in them and it was like the birth of fx. By the time we were doing Rescue Me so, you know, there was nobody around. It was just our producers running the whole thing. A lot of leadership. He's a very hands on person. He's. He's definitely running all the things he's doing. I'd love to see what he's like working on. I think the show you're talking about as with Ray Romano and Lisa, I saw the commercial for it. Yeah, I'd love to see what he's like as a guest on somebody's. Because every job I ever did with him, he was running everything and he was running it really well.

[Adam Carolla]

And you're in Vancouver right now shooting what's the schedule and where is. What's the schedule? Like how many weeks, months or whatever. Vancouver's amazing, but. But still not home.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Amazing. It's not home. And when you start it was like A pilot and wow, that's exciting. And then the first order was for 13, and that was six months, which felt like a really big movie. And then the first year we got it back nine. I was like, that's 10 months in Vancouver. I live here. What am I kidding? I visit Southern California. So this year then we had a strike year, which was weird, and we were lucky to get to do 10. And this year we're doing an order for 20. So it's nine months of the year that I'm here. And some of them aren't the great months, some of them are the dark, cold dark. By 4:00 months.

[Adam Carolla]

You pretty much worked your entire adult life in show business. And I, you know, I do think about you from time to time because I think with women and as a comedian, you can just kind of work in perpetuity. It may not be the same work you were doing a decade ago or two decades ago or whenever you were on top or whatever that is, but you just sort of work and then it sort of becomes almost like a job that's not really show business. It's just. Just work. You travel, you work, you do stuff. But for women, especially beautiful women, it's like they age out. Sometimes they stop getting. The phone stops ringing. The business is hard and it's here today and gone tomorrow and all that kind of stuff. And to continuously work is. It's a monumental task. But there's more to it than just sort of being talented and mostly sober. There's gotta be some planning, like, what are you doing that other people aren't doing who sort of burn out, dry up and slough off?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I keep pitching things, like, I keep trying. I've never been an actor that sits at home and waits for the phone to ring because I think I die of starvation. I. I envy those people that also take a lot of play time. And I say I never go surfing on my days off. I'll just write a book or an article or a story or pitch a TV show. But I also was never an ingenue, like the. I didn't work in my 20s. I didn't really start to work till my late 20s, almost 30, when we were doing Loveline, I think I was 28 to 30, and I just always seemed a little bit older, I think. So that has served me well. Like, I was not hanging on to, like, any kind of prom queen, beauty queen, you know, like, aren't I cute in my short dress? That was never my ride, so it's definitely paying off. In my 50s, it feels like, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

You'Re one of the few people whose hair is longer now than it was when you were 28 females.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Oh, my goodness.

[Adam Carolla]

But you were a model for some time, right?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I was. I definitely was, but I. I don't know. I. I grew up in New York. That was probably why I was a model and because I was tall. But it definitely wasn't valued in my family of origin. Like, it definitely was. Like, yeah, you can do this to make a living, but you got to come up with something real to do. So I. I studied theater, and then I just. I got a hustler in me. I think you and I are the same that way. Like, I. My dad is a contractor. It was like, like, constantly. My head's constantly going with what is the next thing. And even dating after divorce has been really funny to see how other adult people live their life, run their business. And so many of the men I've dated have said, you never stop working. And they don't mean that I'm going from job to job. They mean, like, on my day off, I'm like, oh, what if we knock down this wall and build a loft here above the kitchen? My brain is like a wheel.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. No, I agree, because I've always sort of described it this way. I feel you're this way. I feel like I'm a train, and the train is going 100 miles an hour down the tracks, and I have to run out in front and keep throwing track down. Cause the second I stop throwing track down, it just goes right off into the desert, you know? And I'm like, I gotta keep in front of the train and throw the stuff out there. And this business, you know, stuff has, like, lead time of a year or longer or projects. I mean, you talk to people that are talking about projects that are years old now or a book or whatever, film, whatever series. It's like, it's all throwing track at me because the train's coming. But you gotta be nine months in front of the train, not two days in front of the train. And I always just feel. I don't feel insecure, but I just feel like the day I stopped throwing track out, the next day, it's just going off.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

100% agree. I feel like if I sat on my couch and waited for someone to call me and said, do you want to come to work? I'd never work again.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, but that's. I think. I think it serves you. I don't know if it's. I know people don't like saying low self esteem. But I had low or no self esteem. I was like, who's going to call you? Why would anyone put you in a movie? You want to be in a TV series and you better come up with a good idea for a TV series, because no one's going to cast you in a TV series. Why would they do that? Like, that's the way I always felt. I never. I remember very clearly being in La Crescenta, California, nearest to where you live. A little more on the wrong side of the tracks. Renting a house off of Lowell, the exit. Until then, Lowell. A house on Altura, A little ranch house with my roommates, like 30 years ago, a little bit more. And my roommate Ralph was just. I just came into the living room one day and he was just stuffing all his headshots into his resume into manila envelopes. And I'm like, what are you doing with that, Ralph? Going to get an agent. I'm like, how's that work? I put my headshot in and then I give them my envelope. Give him the envelope, and then I get an agent. I was like, who's going to do that? It's like, I don't know. That's how it works. I was like, he's like, you should get a headshot. Put it in the envelope and hand them out. Get an agent. I was like, I don't think anyone's going to do that. I don't think anyone would agree to do that based on my headshot or whatever bullshit was on the back of my headshot. I do English and Western style horseback riding now. I think I'm gonna have to do something. And I just went out and started doing something. And six months later, William Morris came to me and signed me. So it ended up working out. But I'm saying I never thought of putting a headshot in an envelope. I was like, no one's gonna do this.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

You're amazing, though. Even when we were super young, I always admired that you and I would be doing Loveline and you would have something for a movie the day before and I'd have something for a TV show. And you're like, I got to that waiting room, there was like 20 guys. They wanted me to wait 20 minutes, so I just left. And then you, like, get the job. And I'd be like, I'm such a sucker. I sat in that room for an hour and I didn't get the job.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, you talking about auditions?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

Like, I resented, you know, the thing about auditions that I figured out is, I'd go into the waiting room and there'd be nine guys sitting there, right? And I'd go, my audition is at noon. And then the guy go, that's when my one is. And I go, what time was your call time? Noon. And I go, wait a minute. They told all of us to show up at noon? Yep. Shouldn't they have staggered it? Like, nope. Well, I'm like, well, where are they? They go, oh, they're eating lunch. So I said to everyone once. I go, come on, let's leave. Let's all just leave. Let's just leave. We're never gonna get this job. And fuck them. They tell us all show up at noon, and now they're just in there eating lunch while oral's supposed to be sitting out here. I go, let's go, let's do this. And they looked at me. I was doing Loveline and the man show at the time. And I go, I looked at this guy go, get up. Let's go. Let's all leave right now. Let's send a message. And the guy goes, you have two TV shows. Yeah, we have no shows. So you leave. And I go, oh, all right. Yeah, I am. Okay, I'm gonna leave.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Oh, my God. But I learned from you. I used to have a 30 minute rule. After 30 minutes, I would leave. And that was that. I was like, no, I think that's the same thing I'm trying to say with the 12 hour day. Like, just because the unions have agreed that you can, you know, we can call it a regular day's work for 12 hours, that the overtime doesn't start till after that. I was like, I. I don't really think that's healthy anymore. And I don't think it's necessary anymore. So why don't we update that?

[Adam Carolla]

I agree. I mean, it's. It's also. It gets really. I mean, sometimes you're going home and it's eight, nine at night, and you have to be on set at six, like the next morning. And you just keep doing it over and over again. And it really, especially now, what they're finding out about sleep and how important it is and how important it is to cognition and how early Alzheimer's. And I was talking to Dr. Drew, our favorite, and he's like, oh, there's a whole bunch of tests that basically just says sleep deprivation causes Alzheimer's disease. And I'm like, oh, yeah, yeah, you gotta sleep, like all those early mornings. I mean, think about it. When you're sleep deprived, it's as if you have Alzheimer's. Like you can't remember shit. You're looking around like you're in that state. Why is your brain in this state of this disease essentially, which becomes permanent at some point, but the super sleep deprived days, can't remember, where's my keys? I can't think of my daughter's middle name. Like, you know, your brain immediately goes full grandpa. Like it cannot be. There's no, it has to be bad for you because it feels so bad. Every cell in your body is going, no, no, no.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

And then you're like, what drugs can I take to keep working? Can I take this energy drink, which is definitely bad for me. Can I drink my seventh cup of coffee?

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

You're talking about going home at 8, 9 at night and then going to work at 6 in the morning. I thought you were going to say when you're going home at 8, 9 in the morning. Because you started at the beginning of the week. We start at 5 in the morning and if you're on a really hard show, you might be starting at 5 at night by Friday and working till 9 in the morning on Saturday. And then Monday morning you're back at five. And these are my call time hours, which are princess hours compared to what the crew's doing.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it is. People think it's a really sort of soft show, busy, Hollywoody, whatever. And also you and I know like shooting a low budget film is like 19 Days of the craziest, craziest hours ever. But if you're doing a TV show, then it's just sort of that in perpetuity.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Perpetuity.

[Adam Carolla]

I think it's good. They've made a lot of progress and a lot of different realms and this is one they should definitely work on.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

And yeah, when we're doing independent film and we know it's 18 hour days for 19 days straight, it's like a little marathon. You, yeah, you understand the concept, but once you get past this little indie short term thing, I'm like, that's when, that's what kills your marriage. That's what like causes you to have no relationship with your kids. And then you're like, well, do I, do I do my career or do I take care of my kids? I, I didn't take a job out of Los Angeles when I had the three kids. The rule was only a job in cable, only in comedy, only in LA. And I did that for 15 years. And I feel like I almost ruined my career because I waited long to have Them. I was almost 40 when I had them, and I was like, I can't miss it all. I can't. I can't live in a trailer somewhere else while somebody else is raising them. So I. I mean, I'm so thankful that the work came back when they got big enough after the pandemic. They were all teenagers and really angry at mom all the time. And I was like, I can go.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, mom can leave.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

This job came in. And I was like, I'm gonna go to Vancouver. You're on your own. Stay with dad. You can come and visit.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I know. I feel the same way about my kids. I mean, you know, at a certain point it dawns on you, you go like, you want to go out to dinner Friday night? And they go, I kind of made plans with my friends. And you're like, oh, you don't want this either? Oh, okay. You don't want to be around me. I mean, I. God, when I was a kid, I didn't want to spend 10 minutes with my parents. I think it's a little better now.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I don't think it's a little better now. But also, our parents were offering to do shit with us. And compet comparison. I have said to them, do you want to go to Hawaii for a week? And they're like, no, I just want to stay here and play video games. And I'm like, all right, okay. I'm like, down to the point, like, well, what if I don't complain if I know you guys are drinking? What am I perpetrating here?

[Adam Carolla]

I know it's a. It's such, I don't know, time wise. It hasn't been that long, but it's a completely different universe. And I will say that being raised, certainly the way I got raised was probably overdoing it in the Oliver Twist sort of department. But raising my kids in this giant bouncy castle is probably overcompensating in the other department. There's probably somewhere in the middle that's just a happy medium. Like when you date, you're talking about being single and going out on dates and work and the guys sort of accusing you. I don't say accusing, but I just mean having the observation that you work all the time. There is a balance. Because somebody's working all the time is kind of a bummer as a mate, but someone who hates work is. I've been with a few of them. That's no good either.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

No, that's. That's way scarier than the work. All the Time, because you know, the work all the time person is going to have some period off and have some money to do something. I saw on a dating app one time, it was the rudest thing I ever saw. I thought I got the point. The guy was saying, like, he had some really expensive hobbies. I don't remember skiing or scuba diving. Like something you can't do on like a fresh out of college budget. And he said, I'd like to travel. I like to do all these things. If you can't afford your half of them, please swipe left.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

It's like, wow, same thing. But I was like, I kind of get it. Because when you're dating and you're grown up, it feels like, do I have to carry you or are you worried about carrying me? You know, I know most of the time I've dated a whole bunch of men that had stay at home wives or stay at home girlfriends. And I'm always like, that is so anathema to who I am. I'm often like, tell me what happens on the day you and her decide that she's not gonna work anymore? Like, what's that conversation like? Cause when you met her, she was an adult who had to take care of herself. And then at some point in the relationship, you guys decided that one person would work and the other would take care of that person. Nobody ever remembers the conversation. It always just sort of turns into this. So I feel like if that's the kind of lady you like to date, I'm not the lady for you.

[Adam Carolla]

Where do you. I think there's a popular mischaracterization characterization of men, which is they insecure when their woman makes good money. And I'm like, man, I'd like to try that out for a few minutes. God, I would fucking love that. And then I talk to guys and they always go, no, I wish my girlfriend or my wife made a shitload of money. But you're real successful and you work real hard. What is that dynamic when you're with the guy who's not as successful?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I think the biggest thing is, is that, like, we just have to admit that it is a different power exchange. Like the. I've been dating a guy for two years. He's lovely, he's fun, he has his own money, he's a director, he's a cool guy. And the first time I tried to pay for dinner, he literally laughed out loud. He was like, you're gonna pay for that. I was like, of course I'm going to pay for that what am I, your child? You're going to pay for me every time we go out. And he. He was so uncomfortable with it, and he was, like, saying the same thing that you just said. This is great.

[Adam Carolla]

I love this.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

And I was like, just so you know, we. We have equal say in things now. Like, we. We have equal say in the holiday. We have equal say in the. When. We have equal say in the time. And it was not a hard adjustment. It's been harder for me at times. If I've dated a guy who's, you know, a struggling artist and has no money, and I'm like, well, why don't we go on the ski trip? I'm gonna cover all this because I'm going anyway, so please come as my guest. It's never felt great.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. I also think that we always sort of talk about money. Like, it's just money, but it's really sort of a byproduct of work ethic and detail and attention to detail and focus and ability, and it means a whole bunch of different stuff, you know, it's not just cash, you know?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah. And it's currency, right? Like, in the relationship, sometimes it's currency. Like, if your favorite restaurant is $500 a night, you can't ask to go to that restaurant unless you have the money to pay for it. So it definitely changes the dynamic.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. I kind of think I wouldn't want to be with a person that was poor, but not because I didn't have money or they didn't have money, but more like, I come from poor people. They're, like, poor for a reason. You know what I mean? They weren't struggling artists. They were mainly lazy adults who weren't really that motivated. And I would have been turned off not by their bank account, but by their Persona of their personality of being unmotivated, uninteresting person that way, you know? Like, I like the motor, man. Like, I just like it when people. Because the motor also says engagement. Like, they're just into stuff.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yes, I agree. I feel like so much of where I grew up, the culture, the place, people were distracted, like, they. There was a lot of alcoholism in my family. There was a lot of alcoholism, I think, just in the 70s, and there was so much aggression in New York, and I feel like they were just distracted by things like whether that was arguing with people or drinking or. I feel like those things got in the way of it. So today, I don't. I don't hang out with anyone that has, like, a big drinking Problem, that's not my thing. But I always look at people like what are they distracted by? Are they super into politics? Are they super into self healing? Are they obsessed with their house to the point where they don't ever go on vacation? Like, are they the guy that has to wash their car every time it rains? Like whatever, whatever the distraction is, I'm like, that might be a determining factor for me.

[Adam Carolla]

I was thinking about that today as it pertained to religion, like folks that are, yes, super religious. And I thought, I was thinking about the super Islamists who were like, I gotta spread Sharia law. It's like, I don't know, it seems like a full time job, man. Don't you like water skiing or anything? It doesn't even matter what the religion is once it becomes like a job. And then you gotta spread it and you. Especially when you get into. It's not just me being religious. I cannot tolerate anyone around me not being religious and I'm gonna have to do something about it if they're not. And it's like, wow, that feels like a time suck to me. That just feels like that's all you're gonna be doing. And I guess in a weird way that's the point. But I thought, God, I'm way too selfish. There's so many things to do. There's not enough time. There's so many experiences to have and to be deeply religious, especially like I said, to the point where I had to convert everyone around me or kill them or do something with them. I was like, God, that's just, just, that's all you're doing all day, every day, super great.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Anybody that's on an obsessive track of one thing, particularly religiosity like that, that would drive you bananas. You remember my ex husband saying when we were engaged, I said to him once, if you became an alcoholic, I could deal with that. I would know how to deal with that. But if you like became a frontline cheerleader for Jesus, I'm out.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

There are certain things that you could be obsessed with that I could watch, I could watch that show. There are certain things you could be obsessed with that I'm like, I just, there's more exciting things to do.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't even. Everyone in my orbit plays fantasy football.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Oh boy.

[Adam Carolla]

And all they do is send shitty emails back and forth to each other like all night about trade deadline bullshit and about how Kevin and fuck them by trading Kelsey at the last minute or whatever it is. And then they try. Well, they stopped trying but they would try to encourage me to join them and I would go, no, I don't want to do this. It seems like it's all it does is take time and look, hobbies, great, whatever floats your boat. They're all gainfully employed and you know, Kevin Hansch is one of them. You know, we know these guys. I love all these guys, but they spend an inordinate amount of time shooting shitty emails back and forth to each other in the wee hours of the night. And I'm like, I don't know, I just. Or I feel the same about video games. I've never played a video game in my life just cause I don't want to get sucked into it. Like people go, oh, you got to play Commander of War. You'll look up in eight hours will have gone by. It's like I, I, I know that's not, I don't want, I don't want it. It's so good, dude. Like I, okay, I bet it is. But I don't get sucked into that.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

You and me both, same. Only thing I get sucked into like that. But I don't mind it is my house because like you, I could tinker with little things in the house all the time. But you have to leave the house. Like I, I feel like at some point I have to leave the house. And the other thing I really like to do is travel. And you cannot travel all the time. So I kind of feel like I'm handpicking my hobbies that make me stay interested in multiple things.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. Any shows that you're working on or movies or books or.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I am working on Fire country. And there's time for nothing else.

[Adam Carolla]

Nothing else. Do we want this? What are we in the third season?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I'm in the third season and we're here. We're shooting the last, last four, which is like the last two months till the end of February. There's a spin off coming of the show called Sheriff country that's already picked up and the character is my sister, her name Marina Baccaran is playing the part and she's fantastic. And that's gonna shoot in Toronto. It starts in April, so it may be going back and forth a little bit to that. It's like the job that changes your kids lives. Like all the kids can go to the fancy college.

[Adam Carolla]

Do you want this to be one of those NYPD Blue or Blue Bloods or whatever shows with the word blue in it? Or Country? Something like where they just Fire. It just never ends. It's just like, because it's blessing and cursey. It's great. It's gainful employment for the foreseeable future in a market that's not stable, called show business. On the other hand, it does just become your life.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah, it does become your day job. Here's the funny thing. I'm 55 and I think all the time about retirement and I'm never going to stop working. But the thing you're talking about, about laying down the tracks, I do want to stop chasing work work at some point. So then I'm like, I would love to do this job because I. In, in perpetuity, because I have figured out how to make my own little art jobs that are not dependent on money. I'm not dependent on them to be solvent. So all these articles that I've been writing, and I've been doing it for two years, I. I think at the moment I have five of them due. And they're due from like, AARP and the Wall Street Journal and Rolling Stone. There's such different places. And originally when I started, one of the agents were like, this is perfect. You're going to make your own IPs, stop writing books. Just do this. It takes one month as opposed to five years. And now I'm like, no, I don't need to make an ip. I don't need to make a TV show out of it. I just want to use my voice. I've collected a bunch of information or, or dare I say wisdom. I'm like, let me say it, let me say it. Let me see if I can affect change. And I dream about the house on the coast in Italy that I'm gonna go live in.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, from your mouth to God's ears down far, far country. CBS going into the few. Few more episodes left here. CBS, Friday nights, 9pm I hope when you get a break and you're back in town, you and I can meet at some cozy cafe and ride your motorcycle over and.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Did you get a motorcycle?

[Adam Carolla]

No, no, but I would like to ride yours next time I see you. Right.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

You can. It's a Ducati. You have a license, right?

[Adam Carolla]

I had a license to ride a motorcycle when it was my only form of transportation and I was pulled over and didn't have a license to ride a motorcycle, and then the motorcycle got impounded and then I had to HitchHike to the DMV and get a temporary motorcycle license and then ended up getting a motorcycle license. So I did have a motorcycle license. Now I don't know if it expires.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I don't know either.

[Adam Carolla]

What is it? I gotta check my license. It'll say it'll have a number or something on it, right?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I think it's a class. Like, I think you're in one more class of driver, but yeah, we talked about this so long ago. Come on, my friend. I know you have 1000 beautiful cars, but you can work this part out. It's very fun.

[Adam Carolla]

You know what I'll do, I think we should do. When you come back, I bet you Leno would let me borrow one of his motorcycles.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Oh, yes, please. I'll ride you over. I've never ridden anyone on the back. That scares the crap out of me because, you know, as the driver, if the bike's going to go down, you know it on the back doesn't. And I was like, I'm never putting anybody back there. But yes, let's please go to Jay Leno's house and pick you up a bike and go riding.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, we'll go to a shop, but yes. All right. So hit me up when you come back. Dan Far from Vancouver, great seeing you, my dear.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Love to you. Bye, Adam.

[Adam Carolla]

Always, always great to see Dan Farr. All right, me, Vegas, Thursday, doing Stand Up. Then Solana beach on the 19th with doing a couple shows there. Jay Moore is going to be there. Covina Laugh Factory doing. I think that's a live podcast. Somebody can check that one. January 22nd. Sorry. And then January 30th, Boca Raton, and then Naples, January 31st through the something. I think we got to check these, these dates here because. Oh, Naples. Again, I'm sorry. Now I got February 1st. That's right. Anyway, go to mcroll.com for all the live shows. Until next time, it's Adam Crawford, Diane Farr and Mayhem Miller saying mahalo.

[Dawson]

Pick your phone and leave us a voicemail at 888-634-1744 and then get some tickets to see Adam carolla [e-mail].