Ben Hoffman + Wheeler Walker Jr. (Carolla Classics)

Summary

Podcast Summary: Adam Carolla Show - Episode Featuring Ben Hoffman and Wheeler Walker Jr. (Carolla Classics)

Release Date: April 13, 2025
Hosts: Wheeler Walker Jr., Ben Hoffman, Gina Grad, Brian Bishop, Gary, Dawson
Platform: PodcastOne Premium / AdamCarolla.substack.com

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1. Introduction to Corolla Classics

[00:00 - 01:35]
Wheeler Walker Jr. introduces "Corolla Classics," a podcast dedicated to showcasing the best moments from 16 years of the Adam Carolla Show. He explains that the podcast is available through PodcastOne Premium and Adam Carolla's Substack, offering ad-free archives and special content.

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2. Bathroom Etiquette and Urinal Flushing Systems

[03:33 - 18:00]
The hosts engage in a humorous yet incisive discussion about modern bathroom etiquette, specifically the use of automatic urinal flushing systems known as "magic eyes." Gina Grad shares an anecdote about encountering a poorly managed urinal at a Florida convention center, criticizing the lack of manual overrides and the resulting social implications.

Notable Quotes:

• “There's no greater thrill than the one that speaks to you.” — Adam Carolla [00:43]
• “Don't overinflate, but don't undervalue either. Know where you're at.” — Ben Hoffman [41:21]
• “Once I'm done taking a piss, I need this urinal.” — Gina Grad [06:10]

The conversation delves into societal behaviors, highlighting how small acts of courtesy can reflect broader personal attitudes. The hosts debate the effectiveness and reliability of automatic flushing systems, emphasizing the need for manual overrides to preserve basic human courtesy.

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3. Ben Hoffman's Career and Relationship with Adam Carolla

[35:06 - 44:26]
Ben Hoffman discusses his journey in the comedy industry, particularly his roles on "The Ben Show" and "Current TV." He shares insights into his decision to negotiate better compensation, asserting his value alongside Adam Carolla. Hoffman emphasizes the importance of self-worth and knowing one's place in the professional hierarchy.

Notable Quotes:

• “If you don't show up tomorrow, what will happen?” — Ben Hoffman [35:46]
• “It's physically not worth my time.” — Ben Hoffman [35:54]

Hoffman recounts his experience dealing with management and producers, highlighting the necessity of standing firm on compensation and not undervaluing one's contributions. He explains how this approach led to better pay for both himself and Drew Pinsky, reinforcing the theme of self-advocacy.

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4. Drug Cartels, Terrorism, and Border Security

[128:05 - 137:32]
Ben Hoffman and Ryan Reynolds engage in an in-depth discussion about the intricate relationship between drug cartels and terrorist organizations. They explore how these groups collaborate to smuggle drugs and funds, posing significant threats to global security. The conversation underscores the complexity of combating such alliances, advocating for comprehensive strategies that address both supply and demand.

Notable Quotes:

• “These criminal organizations are working very closely with terrorist organizations…” — Ben Hoffman [128:29]
• “Education, treatment, and economic opportunity are going to be able to substantially bring down the amount of demand.” — Ryan Reynolds [130:33]

The hosts highlight the challenges in tracking and dismantling these networks, emphasizing the need for international cooperation and robust border security measures. They discuss the impact of socioeconomic factors on drug demand and the importance of addressing root causes to mitigate the influence of cartels and terrorists.

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5. News Segment Highlights

[55:06 - 95:30]
The episode features a news segment where Gina Grad and Dawson provide updates on various topics:

• Oscar Pistorius Case: New evidence suggests the presence of syringes and conflicting witness statements, further complicating the case ([55:01]).
• Rio de Janeiro Waterways Pollution: Ahead of the Olympic Games, Rio's waterways remain heavily contaminated, posing health risks to athletes and tourists ([172:56]).
• LA Traffic Signal Synchronization: LA has synchronized 4,398 traffic signals to improve travel speeds and reduce pollution, although Gina Grad criticizes the city's handling of other traffic-related issues ([69:10]).

Notable Quotes:

• “We're guinea pigs in this transitional period.” — Gina Grad [08:16]
• “There's no way that's sinking in.” — Adam Carolla [75:09]

The hosts blend humor with critical analysis, offering relatable takes on everyday frustrations while addressing significant societal issues.

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6. Interview with Ryan Reynolds

[110:20 - 167:54]
Ryan Reynolds appears as a guest, discussing his involvement in the movie "The Infiltrator," which is based on Ben Hoffman's life. Reynolds praises Hoffman's contributions and provides insights into the complexities of tackling drug cartels and terrorism through his role.

Notable Quotes:

• “I was embedded in real businesses with the help of some very, very high level informants.” — Ben Hoffman [112:21]
• “We need to focus on education, treatment, and economic opportunity to reduce the demand.” — Ryan Reynolds [130:33]

Reynolds elaborates on the film's narrative, highlighting the challenges faced by undercover agents and the pervasive influence of international crime syndicates. The discussion emphasizes the importance of multifaceted approaches in addressing global security threats.

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7. Comedy Bits and Promotional Segments

[18:00 - 110:20]
Throughout the episode, the hosts intersperse comedic segments with promotional content. They tackle everyday annoyances, such as frustrations with flip-flops and public behavior, using humor to engage listeners while subtly addressing deeper social issues.

Notable Quotes:

• “The ultimate prey's a dangerous game.” — Gina Grad [80:49]
• “I did a book, but Ruin or something just picks a scam or whatever.” — Gina Grad [110:40]

Promotions for sponsors like Castrol, LegalZoom, and TrueCar are seamlessly integrated into the conversation, maintaining a balance between entertainment and advertisement.

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8. Closing Remarks and Future Show Promotions

[167:54 - 198:00]
The episode concludes with announcements about upcoming shows, album releases, and promotional offers. Wheeler Walker Jr. and Ben Hoffman promote their respective projects, encouraging listeners to engage with their content and attend live performances.

Notable Quotes:

• “Stick it to the man, man.” — Brian Bishop [173:07]
• “It's lifetime germaphobia, right?” — Gina Grad [162:04]

The hosts emphasize community engagement and continuous support for their work, fostering a sense of loyalty among their audience.

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Key Takeaways and Insights

• Social Etiquette: Minor acts of courtesy, such as flushing urinals, reflect broader personal and societal values.

• Career Advocacy: Knowing and asserting one’s worth is crucial in the entertainment industry to ensure fair compensation and respect.

• Global Security: The intricate ties between drug cartels and terrorist organizations necessitate comprehensive strategies encompassing both supply and demand factors.

• Environmental Concerns: Addressing pollution and health risks in event-hosting cities is vital for ensuring the safety and well-being of participants and visitors.

• Humor as Commentary: The podcast effectively uses humor to discuss and critique significant societal issues, making complex topics accessible and engaging.

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• “There's no greater thrill than the one that speaks to you.” — Adam Carolla [00:43]

• “Don't overinflate, but don't undervalue either. Know where you're at.” — Ben Hoffman [41:21]

• “Once I'm done taking a piss, I need this urinal.” — Gina Grad [06:10]

• “We have this problem in every economic sector, unfortunately, of our…” — Ben Hoffman [127:15]

• “Syncing all of LA's traffic signals reduces nearly one metric ton of pollution annually and saves you one day of waiting in traffic.” — Adam Carolla [69:10]

• “If you don't show up tomorrow, what will happen?” — Ben Hoffman [35:46]

• “We need to focus on education, treatment, and economic opportunity to reduce the demand.” — Ryan Reynolds [130:33]

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This episode of the Adam Carolla Show masterfully blends humor, insightful discussions, and critical commentary on pressing social issues, all while maintaining an engaging and dynamic atmosphere. Featuring esteemed guests like Ben Hoffman and Ryan Reynolds, the podcast offers listeners a blend of entertainment and thoughtful discourse.

Transcript

[Adam Carolla]

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[Brian Bishop]

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[Gina Grad]

Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile with a message for everyone Paying Big Wireless Way Too much. Please, for the love of everything good in this world, stop with Mint. You can get premium wireless for just $15 a month, of course, if you enjoy overpaying. No Judg, but that's weird. Okay, one judgment anyway. Give it a [e-mail] Switch upfront payment.

[Dawson]

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[Gina Grad]

To $15 per month required Intro rate.

[Dawson]

First three months only, then full price plan options available, taxes and fees extra. See full [e-mail].

[Wheeler Walker Jr.]

Welcome to Corolla Classics. I'm your host, superfan Giovanni. This is the podcast where we play the best moments, highlights and fans select eclipse from all 16 years of the Adam Carolla Show. We have a companion podcast titled Corolla classics available through podcast one premium as well as Adam Corolla substack adamcarolla.substack.com you can obtain ad free archives for the Adam Carolla show, The Adam and Dr. Drew show, as well as the exclusive new podcast Beat it out featuring Adam Carolla and various guest stars. If you'd like to request a clip, please email us [e-mail] I've been getting a lot of requests for old Loveline and the KLSX Adam Carilla show from 2006 to 2009, both of which we can't play in this feed as Adam Crull doesn't have ownership of them. There are select clips that have been played on the podcast that then become transformative works which then make it allowable to replay some of those moments. But not all the fanfare moments have aired on the Adam Crull show and may never. So if you've requested something from a Loveline, the Tom Arnold call with the phone sex operator, the time Adam hung up on Ann Coulter on the morning show. That's stuff that I'll never be able to play unless Adam covered it on the podcast, some of which he has. So if you've requested something, we haven't played it. That's probably why. If you'd like to find more information on the Adam Kirlish show from 2006, 2009, or Old Loveline, check out patreon.com Giovanni that's where I handle all that other stuff. I can't be in this feed. All right, let's get to the clips coming. First, we have adam Kirlish of 1019, Ben Hoffman, Alison Rosen, Brian Bishop. This one's from 2013.

[Gina Grad]

Okay. Allison Rose. Hello, Adam Carolla, and good day. Bald Brian.

[Gary]

Give me a break.

[Gina Grad]

Ben Hoffman, comedian Ben Hoffman in studio. He is the star of the Ben Show. It is on Comedy Central Thursday nights. And I watched it. I watched two of them. Really funny new show. So we'll talk to him and, and we'll bring him in in a couple of few a couple things. Oh, hey, bald Brian. What's up there, bud? Give me a break. A couple things to complain about. We'll do a little early news. We'll bring Ben in. Just a couple. Just a couple. Couple of few, couple hundred.

[Adam Carolla]

He's in a good mood.

[Gina Grad]

Story from a couple of weeks ago. I just, we got to work this out. Here's the deal. First off, you know my whole thing about uniformity, like, uniformity, especially in the bathroom.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Gina Grad]

I forgot to tell you, but it happens a lot. And I don't imagine it happens in the women's room or the ladies room that often, but you sidle up to the urinal and there's just a huge, golden, foamy, frothing bucket of piss sitting at the bottom, meaning the guy did not want to lift his hand and flush it. He took all the B vitamins and asparagus he could ingest that morning and just evacuated himself into this toilet. And first off, when I saw it, it was at a convention center in Florida. It's the middle urinal. It's like it's the crown jewel. And it's the jewel and the crown of the urinal. And it's like it's so yellow that it was golden. Like it was almost orange. And it was like somebody liquefied, like a pylon, like a cone, like a traffic cone. And just put it in there as.

[Adam Carolla]

If it's saying, slow down.

[Gina Grad]

Yes. And see me. See me from outer. There's no roof on this convention center. Could Be seen from outer space. And I just walked in and I thought, why do you, you know, I. What does this say about you? That I must leave this for people to sort of.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, it says you don't drink enough water for one.

[Gina Grad]

Yes, to deal with. To deal with, you know, And I know they don't want to touch the handle. They don't want to touch the handle, but isn't there this thing. I have this thing where there's a lot of people, which is once I am done and it no longer affects me, I'm 100% out, meaning once, no.

[Adam Carolla]

Trace that you ever use the bathroom.

[Gina Grad]

Just what I'm saying. No, not that. What I'm saying is once I am through with this piece of gum, once I am done with this sports page, once I am done with whatever I am done with, then it goes wherever it goes for anyone else to deal with it but me. Because I have no interest in. In it. Once I'm done as I'm pissing, I need this urinal. Now I'm taking a piss. Now I'm done taking a piss. I could lift my hand 11 inches and pull this handle and be a human being, but I'm done. And I'm not gonna burn.

[Adam Carolla]

You're being that you're voicing that guy.

[Gina Grad]

I'm not going to burn one calorie more than I have to for anyone in society. I mean, this includes sort of holding.

[Adam Carolla]

Doors, the falling down syndrome. It's like people who just feel. Who have anger about their life and anger, they feel like they're pushed around. And this is just kind of their passive aggressive way of saying fuck you to the world.

[Gina Grad]

I think it's worse. I think other human beings don't exist. I think it's just all that exists is me and my urethra. Very funny animated show from the 70s. There was a whole song about it, right? And that's it. I'm done. I'm done peeing. And my mind is, well, now that I'm done peeing, I'm hungry, I'm horny, I need to take a nap, I need to shop. You know, I'm moved on to the thing I need to do. I jumped past humanity where I flushed a fucking toilet because that would be the decent thing to do. I've evacuated myself. I came in here to do this. I didn't come in here to flush the toilet. No one says, oh, I'm just gonna walk into the men's room at the convention center in Dade county, just start flushing toilets. No, I'm going in there to take a piss now. I. His royal Highness is done evacuating his royal bladder, and now I will turn his royal ass around and walk out of this fucking royal head. That's how it goes. A lot of guys do this, by the way. I see it all the time.

[Adam Carolla]

Do you ever say anything?

[Gina Grad]

There's nothing to say. Because I was walking.

[Adam Carolla]

I mean, have you've never seen someone. You never caught someone in the act?

[Gina Grad]

No, I've never. I've never caught somebody in the act. Oh, I probably have. Yes, I probably have. And I did these sort of passive aggressive, well, I guess I'll just get that for you kind of thing. Yeah. When they're. When they're walking out. But it now gets tricky because half the urinals are automatic.

[Gary]

Yeah. The eye.

[Gina Grad]

The eye. And this has fucked everything up because we, as I've said before, we are guinea pigs in this transitional period. Like I talk about, it's like CGI. CGI looked like shit 10 years ago.

[Gary]

Our grandkids are gonna look back on the movies we loved and laugh at us.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah. It's gonna look like shit. Right. And so now we've done this horrible thing where either you make all toilets with the magic flushing eye or you make none of them. That way you don't go half and half. Because this guy may have a toilet at work that has the magic eye, and the other convention he was at had it. So he has every excuse to turn around, walk away without raising his hand.

[Gary]

Yeah. What percentage of the eyes work, do you think? Two thirds work like they're supposed to A full flush? Well, because some go like, psst. And there's a little bit of bubbling and nothing.

[Gina Grad]

Listen, the amount of water that the airport has deemed was a fair allotment for you, what would be sufficient for you to wash your hands is way less than 10% of what I need. And I'm not a surgeon. I mean, I get the first. They had the spring operated one where you just. I don't know what it is about the airport, but they don't like. Airports should have a sign that says, not trusting the public with water since 1949. I don't know what happens. Because you go to other places, they seem to have some trust level with you and their customer. You know, when you use it, when you go to a restaurant, they seem to have. There's some level of trust.

[Gary]

There's a tacit agreement going on between you and the urinal.

[Gina Grad]

Right. I frequent. Yeah. There's A tacit agreement with you and the restaurant that you frequent, which is, I enjoy your food. So I'm not gonna take my undershirt off, ball it up, shove it into the drain, and then run both things and run out of here like a lunatic, thus flooding your bathroom. I will use the water that I need to wash my hands. And then when I'm done, I'll go ahead and shut the handles off.

[Adam Carolla]

Thank you for believing me. Applebee's.

[Gina Grad]

Yes, thank you. Thank you for having the faith and believing in me. But at the airport, they started off with the spring loaded.

[Adam Carolla]

You could watch the amount of time you had left.

[Gina Grad]

That's the whack a mole. Except for those things would get old and loose and you'd punch them down. And by the time you were moving your hand from the top and got it underneath it, it was already popped up.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it was like that game slapping game.

[Gina Grad]

Then you had to work this move where you held it down with one hand and tried to use the one hand wash for things. Now they have the magic eye. But the magic eye is a. It's like if you ever see a machine gun burst, like from. From a fighter plane or something, it's like, yeah, it's. It's milliseconds.

[Adam Carolla]

It spits at your hand and you have to catch it.

[Gina Grad]

It's not six seconds, it's a minute. It's a second. Like it's 1.6 seconds. It's not success. It was like you do the thing and it goes, all right, I got. Now I got. Soap my hands. Here we go. Yeah, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

And there's that fear that you're going to anger it and it won't even turn on again. You have to go to a different faucet.

[Gina Grad]

But what if they just gave you five? Like, what if they just gave you a 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and then shut off? What would be the worst. Give me a worst case scenario. Well, the worst case scenario.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, your hands would be clean for one.

[Gina Grad]

Worst case scenario is you reboot. It goes. You use only two of the five seconds and it runs additional three seconds without you.

[Adam Carolla]

And meanwhile, the magic eye toilet flushed four times while I was sitting there.

[Gina Grad]

Right. I'm just saying, what happened? Where's the airport? And the trust level, it's nonexistent of you and the H2O. So, yeah, I would just ask all human beings. When you use the urinal and it has the big chrome six inch handle, old school, plunger hanging, the one armed bandit hanging off the edge. Feel Free to be a human being and pull it after your frothy yellow piss. And let's go ahead and get dividers. Because what happened to me is I walked into the bathroom and as I was walking in, I ran into a fan. Hey, Ace, man. How's it going? Good, man. Big fan, man. Thanks, buddy. Listen to pod. Now I realize we're both taking a piss.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Gina Grad]

And there's no dividers. So the only thing that divides us.

[Gary]

Is a personal conversation.

[Gina Grad]

In that case, the pot of gold that the leprechaun is guarding between us. But we're having this conversation and realize if I was like, big fan, man. Big fan. And I'm like, well, you look down.

[Gary]

You'Re like, yeah, you are.

[Gina Grad]

Sorry to disappoint. Yeah, I thought if I was talking to a guy I was a big fan of, I'd probably take a cock. Look, you're not gonna get these opportunities that often. Yeah. Like how many times do you get to see the junk of a guy you're a big fan of? And this is a fairly new. It's a convention center. I'm sure, like I said, if you go down the street, if you go to the Applebee's, there will be a division. If you go to the airport, there will be a division. If you go to the gas station, there may be a division. Can we just kind of sign off?

[Adam Carolla]

Why isn't there urinals? It's all foreign to me.

[Gina Grad]

Listen, I went. I'm trying to think of where it is. You guys can help me. Jfk, you know, they were like working. Oh, yeah, there you go. Jfk, they were working on like the new United terminal or something or American terminal or something for like 10 years. And then they finally finished it about three, four years ago. And we were doing something. I did something with the radio. I went down there for basically CBS and Les Moonvest and something, something, something, Radio City Music hall, unveiling the new shows, the upfronts. And I went into this bathroom and I remember they finally had finished the new terminal and again it was jfk. But I can't remember if it was United or American or what it was, but it was.

[Adam Carolla]

It wasn't JetBlue, because I know that this is before that.

[Gina Grad]

It was like, whoa, this is really nice, like really nice furniture.

[Gary]

It's a new American terminal.

[Gina Grad]

Probably American. Yeah. And then you went to the bathroom and it was all like nickel plated stuff and sleek and chrome and all this. And walls with Carrara marble going all the way up. It's like, hey guys, first class, nice job. And then I got up to the urinal next to a huge guy and I said. And I realized, oh, everything but a fucking divider between the two urinals. What again? Can we just go? When you build a new bathroom, you must take. It's going to cost you an extra $40. It's a piece of either melamine or cortron. It's what we used to use when we made closets. It's vinyl coated.

[Brian Bishop]

Are you sure that's even English?

[Gina Grad]

3/4 MDF or OSB? Sorry. No, it's MDF, sorry. Medium, medium density fiberboard. And you just put it on the wall with a couple chrome things and a couple screw shields like it ain't no big deal. I could do it, you could do it. It's not a big deal.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it could.

[Gina Grad]

Easily. As I say. And a land of nothing but rules and nothing but codes. And there's a billion codes in that bathroom. Why not just tack on one more?

[Adam Carolla]

Now here's what I feel like I asked this before, but being a big celebrity and all, you don't ever just piss in the toilet. In the stall.

[Gina Grad]

I feel weird. Well, there's two things. First off, I feel like the stall is for shitting for the most part.

[Adam Carolla]

Is that how most guys feel?

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, it's like that Nancy Sinatra song went, this stall was made for shitting. And that's what this ass is gonna do. One of these days this ass is gonna shit all over you.

[Adam Carolla]

Right?

[Gina Grad]

So I feel so it's weird. It's because I'm a celebrity. I feel like, uh, oh, small dick Corolla's gonna turn his ass on humanity by going in there. Meanwhile, there's a guy with explosive diarrhea is just cramping up, but by the sick, right? So that's number one. Number two, a lot of them are handicapped. So you go into the hand. That's bad juju. Going there and peeing on the toilet with the riser on it. The seat with the riser on it. So I will just use the urinal. And then sometimes you go use the urinal and some guy just pulls up next to you. So it was all clear and then you went and did it and then some guy pulled up next to you. But dividers, I think I could win like a congressional seat just basically with. This is my only platform. It's just dividers between urinals. It's mandated. Half of them have it anyway. Why would you build a state of the art Lounge and airport and everything and not do it. Yes.

[Gary]

You know who's scheduled to come in next week? Lieutenant Governor Gavin Newsom. And, you know, we should start making a list.

[Gina Grad]

We should.

[Gary]

Important stuff like urinal dividers, easily done to bring up to him.

[Gina Grad]

Bombas makes the most comfortable socks, underwear, and T shirts. Bombas are so absurdly comfortable, you may throw out all your other clothes. Sorry, do we legally have to say that? No, this is just how I talk. And I really love my Bombas. They do feel that good. And they do good, too. One item purchased equals one item donated. To feel good and do good, go to bombas.com wondry and use code wondry for 20% off your first purchase. That's B O M B-A-Com wondry and use code Wondry at checkout. Yes.

[Gary]

Pass through the state legislature.

[Gina Grad]

Thank you. I shall. Now, in the women's room, I'm guessing, because women are much more. I feel civil than men sometimes. Well, they don't mark things with urine.

[Adam Carolla]

I mean, occasionally you'll walk into a women's restroom and you'll see urine all over the seat, and you'll think, what the fuck? That's usually my reaction.

[Gina Grad]

How did that happen?

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. Were you hovering so much and were you drunk?

[Gina Grad]

Right.

[Adam Carolla]

Because there are women who refuse to even let their flesh touch the seat for like, one week. I tried that, and I thought, this is way too hard.

[Gina Grad]

Right.

[Adam Carolla]

So then I just, you know, fuck it.

[Gina Grad]

So how. How often have you seen, in, let's say, an airport or convention center, a toilet that had urine in it when you entered the stall?

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, I've seen that before, but I always think that it's not flushing. That's my reaction to that. And that is usually what it is because. And you can tell because it's not just frothy urine. It's a lot of other stuff in the toilet.

[Gina Grad]

I've said many times this magic eye has completely eliminated the courtesy fl, which is the greatest gift one citizen can give to the next. You know what I mean? You talk about donors.

[Gary]

You know, I mean, they're good.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, they're not bad. You know that little pink thing on your license, that's fine. But the courtesy flush, right up there with the guys that left it on the line at Normandy and heroes speed meters. These are heroes. Yes. And when you have the eye, you gotta do the weird hand move with the courtesy flash, throw your back out. It doesn't work. There needs to be the manual override of the eye for the courtesy Flush for the courtesy hero.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. I have a question about the urinal magic eye. Do you find that you somehow. Does your dick get soaked accidentally? Because as some. Like when you're sitting on the toilet and it flushes when you didn't want it to, all of a sudden. Butt bath, right?

[Gina Grad]

No, we don't get that. We don't get that as much, but I like butt bath.

[Gary]

It generally goes off when you walk away. If it goes off at all. I'd say a third of the time doesn't go off.

[Adam Carolla]

I mean, I tend to rock back and forth a lot.

[Gina Grad]

Well, but we are. Well, you listen, you gotta get your thinking in. The point is, we are living through this transitional period of magic eyes that aren't that magic and don't work that well. And for all I know are being hacked into and recording are every shit and piss. I'm assuming there's some guy in China right now that just has 2,000 hours of my cock and ass somewhere.

[Gary]

Is it the Adam Carolly collection?

[Gina Grad]

It's going up on the Internet. Yes, absolutely.

[Gary]

While we're on the urinal thing, if you're at an old school urinal, here's a do yourself a favor and I think you can get on board with this. I think some guys avoid doing it because they don't want the germs touching the hands where other guys have touched after their junk. Use your elbow. It's eye level. Just boop. Elbow right there. Clean. You flushed, you're good.

[Gina Grad]

Well, the thing is. Well, there's a couple of moves. First off, they do this thing where they go, well, you know, the handle on the door to the bathroom is filthier than the actual handle on the toilet. And I go, yeah, that's because of all the douchebags, the Jackie Chan or the can who like to walk in, lift their foot up and open the door with their fucking piss foot. So now, again, would you people. Would you people. Would most of you people within the sound of my voice just fucking kill yourself? You understand what you're doing? You're walking around.

[Adam Carolla]

You just asked your listenership to off themselves or someone.

[Gina Grad]

You know, I guess that's not yourself.

[Gary]

But update your subscriptions on it.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. But no, what I'm saying is you're walking around in a pissery dish. You walk around in a place where people just pee on the floor and there's shit all over the floor and there's everything. And then you're taking your foot and you're lifting it up and you're transferring whatever it is to the push blade.

[Adam Carolla]

May as well just piss on the door.

[Gina Grad]

Yes, now. And get a little shit and like have a snot rocket and rub your balls on it. And then me, who's a human being, is going to put my hand on this plate. That wasn't that bad. But you've transferred what was on the floor onto the door, ass wipe. And then there's all the guys that. Oh, boy. These guys. All the guys with the advanced degrees. All the guys. All the. All the. All the guys who have the. All the guys who work for Pfizer and Upjohn and all the guys who work in all the forensic labs who open things with their sleeve and open. I like the guy uses his sleeve. Now you have a shit sweater. You have shit on your sweater.

[Gary]

Mission accomplished.

[Gina Grad]

Mission accomplished. All right. At least I open it with my hand. I can wash my hands. But you're just gonna walk around the rest of the evening with the shit sweater. I mean, using your logic, have you.

[Adam Carolla]

Seen at Ikea they have some special kind of door pull thing. I wish I could remember exactly what it was. All I know is I thought, oh, this is new and different. And then I almost broke my arm trying to use it. Like, you hook. It's like a loop and you hook your arm through it, right? As if you're. No. In their bathroom. As if you're gonna skip down some kind of yellow brick road, linking arms with the door itself. But it ricochets back in. Pull your arm right out.

[Gina Grad]

Listen, we have this weird obsession with germs.

[Adam Carolla]

There it is.

[Gina Grad]

Except for. Oh, it's. It's. It's like a cloth strap. I mean, it's like what you'd hang on to on a subway or something. Like doing that strap thing.

[Adam Carolla]

I know you're supposed to. You don't use your hand. You loop your wrist or your arm through it.

[Gina Grad]

Okay, here's the thing. It's insane to me that we have this obsession with the bathroom and the handles and the doors and such and so forth. And then basically you go to In N Out Burger and some kid just makes you burger and he hands it to you and you just eat it. And the one that drives me insane is, first off, I think, the thing I talked about in my book. But you take the ketchup packet, you happily put it in your mouth.

[Adam Carolla]

I know.

[Gina Grad]

Put it right in your mouth, this ketchup packet. God knows where this thing's been and God knows what kind of truck this thing's Been in. Follow the path of this ketchup packet. It's not kept in a sterilized environment. You put it in your mouth, you rip it open, then you milk the thing onto the box that the burger comes in. Now, the box is not being sterilized either. And then you dip your fries into it. But you got a kid back there, got a bunch of teenagers, and they're cutting up the tomatoes, and they're making the fries, and they're putting the stuff together by hand, and then they wrap it up. It's all by hand. And their hands aren't. They're not wearing gloves or anything. They just hand it to you and you just eat it. And by the way, God knows how much whatever feces got mixed into those grain silos that have all the wheat that they make the bun out of. And God knows how many illegals handled that tomato and that lettuce before it got to your fucking delicate mouth. And the beef, the cows, the slaughterhouse, the whole thing. But then when you go to the bathroom, out comes the sleeve. Now all of a sudden, you're the surgeon general. I just threw up in my mouth. What are we doing here? You're surrounded by. By germs.

[Adam Carolla]

Selective germaphobia, right? Selective hygiene.

[Gina Grad]

We're doing exactly what the terrorists want us to do, which is not making any sense at all. We're not focusing on what makes sense.

[Adam Carolla]

I remember very clearly sitting at a restaurant in college with some friends, all of whom were smoking inside. I probably was, too. And they were talking about how bad saccharine is for you.

[Gary]

And I'm thinking, okay, this, Adam, this is an example of what you say. This is working big to small, or, excuse me, small to big. This is worrying about things that mean nothing, when in fact you're engaging in behavior that's much worse for you.

[Gina Grad]

I am convinced that's how we control our psyches. That's how we are wired to run from animals. We're wired to run from danger. We have so much primitive wiring to us, and we don't know what the fuck to do with it because everything is air conditioned and all the water's clean, there's no dysentery, and people aren't. You know, it used to be if you were born, you had a 1 in 4 chance of surviving or seeing your second birthday. We've eliminated all that, but our minds are still that reptilian kind of brain. You know, we didn't advance our brain like childbirth. Mortality is not an issue, but it's changed a ton in the last 500 years, but our brains haven't changed that much in the last 500 years, so we need something to occupy ourselves with. And I understand that you have to worry about stuff, but worry about shit that makes a difference. Retards.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, here's something that you can file under hokum, perhaps. Although I'm sure a lot of people believe in it. When I took my new puppy to the vet, I was looking at the diplomas and whatnot on the wall, and the guy is certified in animal acupuncture.

[Gary]

I just had a vet recommend that to me last week.

[Adam Carolla]

For what?

[Gary]

For my dog.

[Adam Carolla]

I know, but for, like. For what kind of. For dog stress.

[Gary]

He's a doctor. He's a doctor who throws me back.

[Gina Grad]

Should we reexamine that last exchange? I just had my vet recommend that the other day. For what? For my dog. Yes.

[Gary]

He took one look at me. He's like, you're kind of hunched over there, pal.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah.

[Gary]

I have an idea for you.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah? Your dog acupuncture.

[Gary]

I haven't done it.

[Gina Grad]

No, I was just saying I took.

[Gary]

The dog in because he. Does he hurt his back? He's a dachshund. Long back, and the guy's like. The vet's like, dog acupuncture really works. I'm like, really? They actually do that? He's like, yeah, here's a navel place.

[Gina Grad]

He's got a bend at the paw when he lifts boxes.

[Gary]

He should have used that strap that goes on his forepaws.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah. Does he have a set of carpeted stairs to get up to your bed?

[Gary]

They're arriving tomorrow.

[Gina Grad]

I just ordered them.

[Adam Carolla]

From what, SkyMall magazine.

[Gary]

Did you find them at Sky Mall? We found it in Sky Mall. Cheaper on Amazon. A click through.

[Gina Grad]

Of course. Thank you. You just ordered the stairs.

[Gary]

That's right. Actually, it's a stair. They're stairs that convert into a ramp.

[Adam Carolla]

Because he's been throwing his back out.

[Gary]

Jumping three times. He throws back out? This happens with dogs.

[Adam Carolla]

How do you know when he throws his back out?

[Gary]

Because he's miserable. He has tail between his legs, and he won't, you know, bark or do anything. It's obvious that he's hurt.

[Gina Grad]

Mm. Okay.

[Gary]

He won't eat.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah. I mean, come on.

[Gary]

The guy's hurt, so you get a little.

[Gina Grad]

Okay, so you got the.

[Gary]

You had your dog's ear lopped off.

[Gina Grad]

I didn't. Well, first off, I wanted to do that myself. Listen, listen. I am in a very vulnerable position here because I have a Dog that my wife loves so much that if, you know, when I leave, she'll be like, and you didn't say bye to Molly. And I'll be like, I don't think Molly's gonna be upset or have her feelings hurt. Well, I want you to say bye. You know, you say bye when you leave. You say bye to everyone else. Say bye to Molly. So I have a wife that is so. She's just such a loving person. She loves the bejesus out of the kids, out of me, out of the dog. I mean, you put something in front of her, she will love that thing. And there's nothing not to love about Molly. She's the sweetest dog on the planet. She's one of these dogs. I've never met a dog where when you're sitting at the table and just feeding her scraps off the table, she gingerly takes the food out of your hand. She doesn't grab at it. She doesn't. She's very careful. She does it. She goes very slow. She turns her head, and she makes sure that there's no tooth contact on your hand. Like, she's, like, very concerned about you. She would never leave a urinal filled with her filthy piss for me to discover at a convention center outside of Tampa. That's for goddamn sure. So when that dog then gets, like, ear cancer, what the fuck are we supposed to do? See, it's a volatile combination, which is I have a credit card. I have a wife who loves the bejesus out of Molly.

[Gary]

You have a vet that knows both of those things.

[Gina Grad]

I have a vet that's well aware of both these things. And what are you gonna do about it? Thus, there goes the earth.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Gina Grad]

And it makes for a weird asymmetrical sound when she does the dog. Like, the ear thing. Now she has the one ear flapping around.

[Adam Carolla]

Did it affect her balance?

[Gina Grad]

She's got the one.

[Adam Carolla]

Cause acupuncture is good for that.

[Gina Grad]

She's got the one weird eye.

[Gary]

Balances out.

[Gina Grad]

We're trying to get her off the food. She's diabetic, so she has to get the shot of insulin. And then that makes for all the conversations, like, I'm leaving. You gotta feed Molly. You gotta give her the insulin shot. And then it's like, Molly doesn't want to eat, but I gotta leave. But she doesn't want to eat her food. But she needs to eat her food because I can't give her an insulin shot until she eats her food. And then I just stand. And you'll Eat. No, actually I yell. It's funny. It's funny what you do with dogs because I go, eat your din din. Eat your din din. Eat your din din. Now, I wouldn't say din din to anybody else. I'd just say, eat your dinner. Or I'd say, eat your food. The dog doesn't speak English. But it's funny. It doesn't speak cutesy English or the Queen's English. It just doesn't speak English. But I decided that if I say eat your din din, that'll be more absorbable as a message than eat your food.

[Adam Carolla]

Breaking it down.

[Gina Grad]

It makes zero sense.

[Adam Carolla]

Kibble sized words, right?

[Gina Grad]

Eat your din din. Eat your dinden. And no din din. And then so what happened the other day is she did not eat her din din, but she ate the rest of Natalia's fried egg and the rest of Sonny's cereal milk. And then I gave her the shot anyway because I had to leave. But then I had to do this thing where it's like I had to leave the note saying she didn't eat the din din, but she got the shot because she ate the egg and she ate the milk. And then I got the thing from the wife. She ate Sonny's milk. You know, it's like, what the fuck am I supposed to do? The dog's not eating it.

[Gary]

So me getting a ramp for my dog's recurring back injuries does not seem so bad now.

[Gina Grad]

No.

[Gary]

Here's the three times he's throwing at his back.

[Gina Grad]

Here's the thing about the dog. Ramp to the bed.

[Gary]

No, it's to the couch, not to the bed. The bed is. That makes it his territory. The couch is where he spends most of the day. So there's just maybe a 10% better.

[Gina Grad]

The real dangers, eventually when you start using the stairs to get to the couch, there will be. There will come a day or get off the couch. You start using those stairs to get off the couch, it can convert into a ramp. Yeah, like in case the dog wants to go skateboarding.

[Gary]

It's the stairs that like collapse. You know, the stairs and they collapse into a ramp.

[Adam Carolla]

But why would you sometimes want the ramp?

[Gary]

The ramp's better for their back, supposedly.

[Gina Grad]

I would love to sit down with the company that manufactures and ships very similar to that. I'd like to sit down with the company that makes anything from the Sky Mall.

[Gary]

It's carpeted.

[Gina Grad]

But especially the two companies I like to sit down with. I like to sit down with the company that makes the carpeted steps ramps that Go to the bed or go to the sofa. And I'd like to sit down with the company that makes the giant inflatable chess pieces that you like move around. And finally the company that makes the double decker cat stroller. I like to sit with those companies down, sit down with them. And what I like to do is I pull down a map, a global map, and I pull out a US Map. And I'd go, I want you to put a pin like, let me. Nicaragua. How many units. How many units you guys ship yearly to? Let's say El Salvador, Nicaragua, places like that. Let me see. And just a bunch of. I just say, put a pin in the place where you ship the most carpeted doggy stairs. And I bet you that Central and South America would just be completely. You could run at it with your tongue out and be completely confident. Then probably skip over like Alabama and Mississippi and stuff that you'd get to. And then you'd hit Los Angeles and Manhattan. Manhattan, Beverly Hills, Pacific Palisades. And you just see this non. This cluster ball of pins. I'd like to see that. I'd like to work on that. Let's get them going with that.

[Gary]

Yeah, they should cluster all the ones they sell and just watch New York to swell.

[Gina Grad]

I'm guessing a lot of the Middle Eastern countries.

[Adam Carolla]

Probably not.

[Gina Grad]

Probably not so much. But I'd really like that. Let's make that happen, Matt. Let's make that happen. Porcelain punisher. All right. Is our guest here? Yes, our guest is here. Okay. Put that on my little signboard there. Should we bring Ben in? Remember I said I like to do the news before the show and then not so much. Yeah, we'll do some news. I want to get some news. I want to get some love to one of our fine sponsors. Stamps.com. post Office Fair. I say you want to get to. Well, you got. You got a problem. You got a situation. You want to send things. You want to send parcels, letters. You don't feel like going down the post office. That's. You're a busy guy or gal, but you know what I'm saying? You want to use stamps, dot com, buy and print official US Postage and put on any letter, any package, and you do it right from your computer. So it's pretty diabolical. You just get the scale, digital scale. You plug it in your computer, you weigh your parcel. I love the idea that the exact amount comes out. The exact amount that you need to send this parcel because you have weighed it comes out, and that's all you spend no extra licking, no extra cents on there. None of those safety cents you always send. Eh? Put another couple bucks on there. I don't want it. I don't want it coming back on me. They got a special offer, by the way. Then you just drop it in your mailbox. Or you can even schedule free package pickup on stamps.com. special offer. You get the scale, you get $55 free. Postage only. If you enter Adam, go to stamps.com. now click on the microphone at the top of the homepage. Type in Adam, that is stamps.com. use the code Adam. All right, Allison Rosen, why don't you. Why don't you get that news queued up? We'll do a little bit of that news.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay? Can I. First, there's something that I've been thinking about since our show last night that I wanted to ask you. You were talking about you and Drew, and you were talking about how Drew is a sponge, and he just. Anything anyone has to say, he soaks it up and takes it in versus you. And, like, when you guys started doing Loveline and people brought notes to you guys, the network had notes. He was like, yes, you know, I definitely want to hear anything you have to say. And you were like, that's him. I don't. And here's what I'm wondering.

[Gina Grad]

Those were producers, but, yeah, but I also sized them up as idiots right early.

[Adam Carolla]

But here's my thing, because I am much more like Drew, but I would much more rather be like you, because I feel like it's just a better, more efficient way to be. Does it not bother you? Do you not. Are you not ever vexed with this? Like, I don't want people to think I'm an asshole.

[Gina Grad]

I don't ever want good people to think I'm an asshole. I don't mind assholes thinking I'm an asshole. And as I've said many times, I want assholes to think I'm an asshole so they'll leave me alone. I had a crazy Israeli cunt of a neighbor who, when I got my first house, who I was trying to be neighborly with, and she bugged the shit out of me. And she was nuts, and she was demanding, and her son had a serious narcissistic disorder, which I guess he got from fat, stupid cunt mom, and they were both just a fucking huge pain in the ass. And after a number of years of sort of trying to be neighborly, I sort of, like, would yell at her, hey, fuck off. Get the hell off my property. And I scared her sufficiently. And then I wasn't bothered by her. And then I realized it's good that she's scared of me. It's good that she thinks I'm an asshole. Because there are people that will never stop encroaching once you go, hey, come on in with your horrible ideas and your very unrealistic requests. Come on. And by the way, you know, you can call me day or night, weekends, whatever, whatever it is, right?

[Adam Carolla]

I guess, like, once you get the sense that they're not respecting you or.

[Gina Grad]

They'Re just fucking stupid or nuts or whatever, then at a certain point you just go fuck off and they leave you alone. And then that's a good thing. So life becomes like a party, and there's the one asshole who you really don't want to make small talk with and you really don't feel like talking to. Have that guy think you're an unapproachable asshole. It's good. He'll leave you alone now. He will tell other people you're an asshole.

[Adam Carolla]

And that doesn't bother you?

[Gina Grad]

Look, I read articles on myself that have my name misspelled, have my age wrong, call me. You know, I'm called, you know, xenophobic and homophobic. I'm called everything all the time. And at a certain point, the press.

[Gary]

Materials for the show.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, that's right. It's stapled to the back of my head shot, you know, and that I can ride not only Western, but English style.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, yeah, that comes in handy so.

[Gina Grad]

Often I do an English and cockney accent. So you have to. Here's what you have to have or what you have to be, which is you have to be okay with what you're saying and who you're saying it to. And there are times when I say things and I've hurt people's feelings or angered people that I respect and that I love and I feel badly. And then I want to rectify that and I want to correct that. But if every time some asshole cuts you off and inflicts you the bird, and you go fuck off, and then you realize that person's gonna drive away thinking you're an asshole, if that's gonna bother you, it's gonna be a long, shitty life. So. And it's much better, really, that people respect you more than like, you. I mean, honestly, you shouldn't be a douchebag, and you should be wildly, incredibly fair with people. But ultimately, when you look back on any historical figure, the nice part is a distant second to whatever they got accomplished. I mean, look, whether you're talking about a president or a general or an artist, a painter, musician, you know, it's never like, well, the guy's work was subpar, but he was super sweet. Yeah, we don't know who that guy's name is.

[Adam Carolla]

What a team player.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, right. Nobody knows who that person is.

[Adam Carolla]

Did you ever go through a phase, though, where you did want everyone to like you, or were you just. Was this just, like, not part of your makeup you.

[Gina Grad]

You. You go through? You need to know. Thank you for asking, by the way. The problem that people have is they don't know where they are and when they are. As I've said, Jimmy Kimmel does the White House correspondence, President's press conference. He hosts the Emmys, he gets a star in the Walk of Fame. He knows who he is. Now, you can't go in and tell Jimmy. Whatever. It's not gonna work. He knows who he is. But there was a time when Jimmy was not that Jimmy. It's not that he was a different human being. It's just he was a different station in life. And somebody would come in who was a lot dumber than he was and a lot less funny than he was, and then tell him and a young Adam Carolla what was funny and what to do. And we wouldn't tell him to fuck off because they were higher ranking in our army now. We knew.

[Gary]

I would say a lot less for me.

[Gina Grad]

Thanks, Jack Silver. We knew that we were funnier than these people. But what people don't realize is they, like, jump the gun on their own career. Which is. It's. It's is if a young, you know, Steve Jobs in the seventh grade started telling all his teachers to fuck off. Like, there's no way anyone knows who he is now. He's gonna have to work his way.

[Adam Carolla]

And you have to earn it.

[Gina Grad]

But then you have to know where you are, and you don't want to get past yourself. You don't want to get below yourself. Meaning my early days at kroq, it was just, yes, sir, no, sir. You think that's funny? I won't do it. I will do it. Never again. You're the boss. You're right.

[Gary]

Please tell me tape exists of this.

[Gina Grad]

Wow. Not a ton of that, but no attitude. No attitude. Now, later on, when I'm telling Stone, Stanley, the producers of Loveline, that don't bother me with bad ideas, I don't say, fuck off. You guys are hacks. I just go, I know what I can do. I know you know what I can do. It's not what you know. You see people do this all the time. It's like, I know in my heart I'm the best. I know I'm the best for this job. Fuck what you know, what does the other person think? What does the person with the checkbook thing? They have to know. And at a certain point, like, with Loveline, they want us to come back for season three. I said, you're gonna have to double my pay because I'm not getting paid enough. And Drew was like, oh, shit. No, no, no, no, no. Just go back. And my manager and Drew's manager and was like.

[Adam Carolla]

And I said no for fear that they would, what? Be like, well, fuck you for fear.

[Gina Grad]

That they'd go out and hire somebody else instead of me. Except for I knew that nobody else could do this job but me. And more importantly, I knew they knew, and I knew they knew I was being undercompensated. And I knew they knew they couldn't find anyone else to do this job that would do it as well as I. And so I said, no, no, I'm not. And I said to them, this is not a threat. For the amount of money that you're paying me, it is not worth me coming back to the show. This is not one of those things where I'm threatening you. I'm saying it's physically not worth my time. It's like, if you said, paint my house, I'll give you $50. I would just say no. Wouldn't be because I was angry with you or threatening you. It simply wouldn't be worth my time. And for the amount you're paying and for other projects that I'm doing, this is not worth my time. So this is not a threat. This is the money I need to do this. And then they doubled my pay, and they doubled Drew's fucking pay, too. And that's why I feel like he owes me money, because he was the one who was telling me, no, no, no, no. Like, we'll go back and do it. So you should not tell everyone to fuck off. You should tell some people to fuck off. You need to know where you are in this weird ladder of career versus who you can talk to and how you can talk to them. And you never want to do it prematurely. If there's ever a moment where you think you need to know you're indispensable to whatever this is. And as I say to people all the time, and as I once yelled at my friend Daniel Kellesen, who basically came up with this whole network. When I was pissed off at him at Jimmy Kimmel's because he was the first executive producer over there, I yelled at him, don't come back tomorrow. Don't come in tomorrow. See what happens. See what happens. And ask yourself that question. Everyone who has a job, if you don't come in tomorrow, what will happen? And if the answer is we'll do a show anyway or we'll figure it out, or sometimes the answer is people will be relieved.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Gina Grad]

If they answer that question is we're gonna do a show anyway, the next time you show up, bring some fucking donuts and drop your attitude. You need to know now, I knew, well, if I didn't show up, there was no Loveline and they weren't going to be able to go to the local comedy club and find a guy who could do what I did in real time. They just, I know that guy doesn't exist. And I knew they couldn't do it. So I was confident with that. So the, the thing, and it's a 20 minute answer to a five minute question. Don't overinflate, but don't undervalue either. Know where you're at, but whatever your job is, ask yourself, if you don't show up the next day, what's going to happen? Because that's really the most important question you can ask yourself in any environment. And there's a lot of jobs where you don't show up and we do whatever we do without you, and you string together, a few of those, people start to notice. All right, I'll tell you what. Give us a news story to tease before we take a break.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, we have an Oscar Pistorius update. Some new things have been found at the scene of the crime.

[Gina Grad]

All right, we will do that. We'll bring in Ben Hoffman and we'll get to that right after this.

[Robert Mazur]

Here's what not to watch on TV tonight at 8 on Food Network. Don't watch Sweet Genius chocolate desserts are made from Chicken stock at 8:30 on VH1. Be sure to miss Black Ink Crew. Caesar lands in court as a child. Support drama plays out and Puma sets out to get a new tooth. And a 10 on Cinemax. Definitely don't watch the Chronicles of Riddick. A fugitive eludes bounty hunters and fights intergalactic warriors. Starring Vin Diesel. That's what not to watch on TV tonight. Now back to the Adam Carolla Show.

[Gina Grad]

Couple quick pieces of business before we get into it with Ben Hoffman. The Ben Show. By the way, Comedy Central. Thursday, February 28, 10pm Score big. Our good friends over at Score Big. You like basketball? How about them? Clippers, NBA, NHL, College? You want tickets? You don't want to pay box office price? Scorebig.com Like I said, Clippers, Nets, Georgia Tech, UCLA, whatever you like. Wherever you are, find your team, find your price. Get [e-mail] kids shows, Disney on Ice. These little brats like Disney not enough. Like I had to sit like that would have been a question for me when I was kid. You want to go see Disney? Where? Maybe something Frozen? Perhaps I'll watch. Yes. Disney on Ice. Sesame street live. Scorebig.com yeah, that's right. You enter the code Adam. You check out when you check out and you get 15 bucks off your first [e-mail] always below box office price guaranteed. Scorebig.com and a special show we're doing tomorrow with Dr. Drew and it's going to be a one on one with me and Dr. Drew and Rachel Yucatel and Michael Lohan and Heidi Fleiss and all the folks, all the alumni of his show because Drew is like basically being called a murderer and he's going insane. So we'll do a special show with him and all them tomorrow. Ben Hoffman watched your show and really enjoyed it, by the way.

[Brian Bishop]

Thank you very much. I've been getting a lot of great people like you that I admire.

[Gina Grad]

Well, thanks.

[Brian Bishop]

And I like to hear like you and Jimmy have been awesome, you know, saying great things because all I really care is that other comedians like it. So sure, I've been really happy.

[Gina Grad]

No, it's like you don't care that the fat chick with the bad skin is attracted to you. I mean, it's nice.

[Brian Bishop]

I'll take it.

[Gina Grad]

But you want the prom queen. That's Jimmy.

[Brian Bishop]

I got you. Well, no, well, you, you too. Prom king.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Half the queen.

[Gina Grad]

I think we'd both be queens. Yeah, yeah. The show is really funny. I think the reason Jimmy likes it and I like it kind of reminds us of the man show. Like when you're walking down Melrose and kind of doing your man on the.

[Brian Bishop]

Street, it's only two letters away.

[Gina Grad]

I never thought about that.

[Brian Bishop]

It's pretty close. It's got that irreverence. Yeah, I think there's some definite similar. Obviously I watched that, you know, growing up, so it probably made a of me more than I know.

[Gina Grad]

It's a really funny show and it's sort of The. Let's see what I see. The obituaries. The obituaries. Really funny rapping obituaries. Were those real dead human beings?

[Brian Bishop]

I've been getting that question a lot. And for the record, it's a gangster rapper rapping. The week's obituaries, the yo bituaries, I felt bad at the last second. I pulled them and I made them all fake. I got really worried that because if my grandma died and I saw some rapper on TV rap, and you don't.

[Adam Carolla]

Think that's a fitting tribute, it's really.

[Brian Bishop]

Funny in a way. But my uncle Bobby just died and he's really old. He had Alzheimer's. Like, if someone rapped about him, even if it was funny, I'd probably be pissed. So I. I pussied out at the last second. It didn't.

[Gina Grad]

It doesn't matter. It's still funny as shit.

[Brian Bishop]

Thank you.

[Gina Grad]

And like I said, the show, it premieres on Comedy Central, Thursday, February 28th. I see you got Gibby in the next room over there. Who I saw my partner in crime.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Gina Grad]

Saw on the Burn a few weeks ago. And I've seen. Oh, the Late Late Show. I think it was a Late, late show. Gibby's just one of these guys that every time there's something with comedy, you walk in and he's standing there. He's rarely. He's not contributing, but he's there.

[Brian Bishop]

No, he's contributing.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, okay. Okay.

[Brian Bishop]

But, yeah, he's mainly just standing around.

[Gina Grad]

So he's contributing now. Okay.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, it's. It's a new thing. He's working.

[Gina Grad]

To me, he's like the version of, like, you know, like, almost every workplace you go into, there's like. There's like a first aid kit, like, hanging on the wall and a fire extinguisher, but no. No one's ever using it.

[Adam Carolla]

It's in case of emergency.

[Gina Grad]

It's just there.

[Brian Bishop]

Case of emergency, break for Gibby. Gibby's there, but I met him on sports show where you were technically my boss.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, right.

[Brian Bishop]

So it's nice to meet you.

[Gina Grad]

Right. Norm MacDonald. Sounds hot. Yeah, There he goes. So now, what's your. What's your backstory, Ben? Where. Where do you get all your mirth?

[Brian Bishop]

Well, I'm from Kentucky.

[Gina Grad]

Mm.

[Brian Bishop]

I'm Jew. I'm a Jew from Kentucky. Now you figure out where my comedy comes from. So, yeah, and I moved out here. I was on this network with this guy over here, one of the cameramen.

[Gina Grad]

That's the. Kentucky's the light Bluegrass State.

[Brian Bishop]

The Bluegrass State.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

It's not really.

[Gina Grad]

If you're Jewish, I'd go light.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. I'm colorblind, so I can't really tell the. We worked on Current TV for a while now, Al Jazeera network, and it was fucking hell from the day I got there to the day I left. But I guess I learned.

[Adam Carolla]

What were you doing?

[Gina Grad]

Why was it hellish? Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

And also why was it hellish?

[Brian Bishop]

Because it was mainly my fault because I thought I was better than it. So I spent the whole time just bitching how I was, like, destined for better things.

[Gina Grad]

Mm.

[Brian Bishop]

Just turned out. I mean, I was fucking right. But at the time, yeah, things were looking pretty bleak.

[Gina Grad]

Mm.

[Brian Bishop]

And they would just.

[Gina Grad]

They.

[Brian Bishop]

You know, the thing was, with it, I shouldn't talk too much shit about them. They've been pretty good to me. It was kind of like being paid for film school, looking back on it, because I got to, like, learn how to make tv.

[Gina Grad]

What was some of the shows on Current tv?

[Brian Bishop]

I'm not going to waste your time. I don't even remember the titles of the show.

[Gina Grad]

Were you.

[Adam Carolla]

What were you doing there?

[Brian Bishop]

Basically, the woman who started the Daily show started a show on Current tv, like the young, hip Daily Show. So who are you going to get? Right, right. Me. Hippest, funniest guy around, spent three years on the show and said, like, three funny things. But the cloud of Al Gore was, like, if you said anything controversial or anything, you know, out of the ordinary, the headline the next day was, you know, like, one of the shows, somebody called Sarah Palin a gilf, for example. So in the headline next to Android Report, Al Gore calls Sarah Palin gil.

[Gina Grad]

Right. Because it was on his network.

[Brian Bishop]

It was on his network. So anything you did was attributed to him. So that was kind of the cloud over it. So it was kind of annoying that. It was almost like you didn't want to piss. I'd never. I've still never met Al Gore.

[Gina Grad]

Met him.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. So. But you were just worried about kind of he was gonna take the credit for anything you did. So it kind of hampers comedy a little bit. Plus, they always wanted me to. I'm not a political comedian, and they wanted me to do, like, Daily show type stuff.

[Gina Grad]

What happened when you left Kentucky? Were they like, we lost our Jew?

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Gina Grad]

Well, that's gonna be tough to replace. No one's got to go to Manhattan and get a Jew and get it back here quick because we're short a Jew.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, my. The softball.

[Gary]

That's what we Said when Theresa left.

[Brian Bishop]

The softball team definitely, you know, was.

[Gina Grad]

Hurt for a while, obviously.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, obviously.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

Javi Zion. The Wizards of Oz is their name, right? They don't do so hot in the. In the Catholic League, but, yeah. My parents. I don't. I mean, my mom's from Nashville, so they wanted to live somewhere close by, and they figured it'd be a nice place. They still don't believe me that I got Jew jokes all day because all their friends were fucking Jewish. But I used to go to school and just get Jew jokes all day.

[Gina Grad]

Did you go to college?

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, I went to school. I went to uk.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, okay.

[Brian Bishop]

Same shit.

[Gina Grad]

Airports in Cincinnati. Right? Or am I screwing that up?

[Brian Bishop]

No, the Cincinnati airport's in Kentucky.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, fuck that one up.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, but it's close, but. Yeah, but why is the Cincinnati airport in Kentucky? Doesn't make sense.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, no, no. So anyway, show funny. And how many episodes, you guys?

[Brian Bishop]

Eight episodes starts. This is live, so. Yeah. A week from Thursday.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah. Thursday, February 28th at 10:00pm Funny show. Yes.

[Gary]

I have a question. If you got nothing but Jew jokes in high school, why did you go to University of Kentucky? Do you think all of a sudden you're gonna be around enlightened people?

[Brian Bishop]

I don't. I'm an idiot. I wasn't really thinking. I just hated school so much, and it just seemed like the easiest way because my parents said I had to go to college. It seemed like the easiest way to get out of it. No, I remember I was in a marketing class, like, my first day at University of Kentucky, and they're like. They're teaching about marketing, like, what's the name for someone who likes to, you know, bargain and, you know, try to get the price down? This redneck. Of course. You know where this is going.

[Gina Grad]

Sure. Shoot down.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. It's called a Jew. I'm like, what the fuck is going on? He goes. And the professor goes, you're in college. This is college. This is fucking college. And the professor goes, actually, there's some people who actually find that offensive, actually. And I'm like, yeah.

[Gary]

Oh, you went to progressive college.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, I'm sitting right here. And then I didn't really. I know one of those guys who, like, really needed to get. If they had showbiz in Kentucky, I'd be there right now. I didn't really need to be in LA.

[Gina Grad]

Right.

[Brian Bishop]

All my friends, like, New York, LA. Let's get the fuck out of here, man.

[Gina Grad]

Right. Well, I would argue LA needed you, Ben.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, well, we're about to be proven wrong. Thursday, February 28th at 10:00pm all right.

[Gina Grad]

Should we do a little news? And Ben, you can crack wise and hang out. How about it?

[Robert Mazur]

The News with Allison Rosen.

[Gina Grad]

She'll read some news from her iPad.

[Brian Bishop]

Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad. It's Allison.

[Gina Grad]

Allison. And when it's time to wrap it.

[Gary]

Up, she'll sign it off with Zip it, cunt.

[Gina Grad]

It's Allison. Allison.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay, so a couple updates to the Pistorius case. A neighbor said he heard non stop shouting between 2am and 3am so this would suggest that it wasn't the intruder scenario that he's saying. And then also, police found syringes. And, well, okay, initially they said they found syringes and two boxes of testosterone in his bedroom. But then the prosecution withdrew that, saying it's too early to identify what the substance is. It might be an herbal.

[Gina Grad]

It said Testosto, and then it said something else. The story I heard is it said Testosto, and then it went into a long name, and it wasn't testosterone, but.

[Adam Carolla]

It started as some kind of supplement.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, it was like if you found a stick and it was orange and it said tn and you went tnt, but it said TNP on it, but you'd already kind of done the math and started running. That's what happened. It said testosta, something, something.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm just wondering if that means it has some testosterone.

[Gina Grad]

Makes sense to me. But they withdrew it because it wasn't that. But.

[Adam Carolla]

And now what they're saying is that the South African police have bungled the case in a number of ways.

[Gina Grad]

All right, but here's the thing. I don't get this. See, I'm into the spirit of the law. Like, you know, hey, you guys bungled the whole. The whole O.J. case. See, he went over there with a knife and he cut this chick's head off. And then you went over there and screwed it all up. So thus, we should set him free. It's like, all right, let's just get back to the basics here.

[Brian Bishop]

What did the two have to do with each other? I never understood.

[Gina Grad]

We're trying to figure out whether the guy did it or not, not whether Fong screwed it up. Like he should have put rubbers over his shoes before he walked in. All her blood, that came from the head when OJ Attempted to take it off with a buck knife.

[Adam Carolla]

That's what happened here, though they didn't wear the right protective covering on the shoes. And the gun was in the toilet.

[Gina Grad]

I'm all for that. But I mean, we get caught up in the minutia and it's like there's.

[Adam Carolla]

Still four bullets in a body shot by him.

[Gina Grad]

Right. And so they always do that thing where it's like, well, they mispronounce this and then they mishandled that and then they contaminated this and then they didn't follow protocol on that.

[Adam Carolla]

Hence there's no way we can possibly deduce anything.

[Gina Grad]

Right. But I would still like to distill this back to its basic root elements, which is you got a gun and you shot her multiple times, or you got a knife and you cut these two people's heads off. Basically, that's where I'd like to keep the focus of this case.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

But I don't understand what the testosterone has to do with it.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, well, I think an argument might be that he was in some kind of roid rage, which still isn't.

[Gina Grad]

Roid rage. Still isn't. It's not a proven condition. It really isn't. I mean, nobody. They don't even know if steroids are bad for you. By the way, the name of the thing was up on the screen. What I'm saying is if you're a dude who's 65 years old and you're bench pressing 270 and you're built like a 41 year old, we've not decided. We don't know if that's bad. Like, that may be a good thing. It's certainly obnoxious.

[Brian Bishop]

It's annoying. Yeah.

[Gina Grad]

Fucking dudes are 30 years younger than you are, keeping their shirts on on the beach and you're fucking all our women and everything like that. Like me, but being 70 and having that kind of muscle mass, why is that? Like, they don't even know if steroids are bad for you.

[Gary]

It's like you say with the, with the CGI now. Like we're in that weird in between period where we don't know if steroids are bad for. They're illegal in competition.

[Gina Grad]

Right.

[Gary]

But they may not be, you know, bad for you, for your body.

[Gina Grad]

Well, it's basically, it's like this. Your body starts dying on its 30th birthday. I like to think it's the next day because that's a shitty way to celebrate your 30th birthday. But physically, biologically, your body starts dying about its 30th birthday. Now it doesn't, doesn't peel off that fast, but it starts dying. Look at the NFL. Look at all the guys that are under 30. Look at the guys that are over 30. Look at the guys that Are over 35. And eventually there's two kickers from Albania that are 39 years old. You don't see a bunch of dudes. Even the freaks of nature like Ray Lewis at 37 are too old to play that game. So your body starts dying. You then replace this growth hormone, which your body stops producing. I started making estrogen full time, like, six years ago. I'm lactating now, Ben.

[Brian Bishop]

I've been doing it since I was a baby.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, I'm happy. And that's it. So now we're taking that and we're putting it back in your veins, and everyone's going, oh, no, no, no. This is gonna kill you. No, what's gonna kill you is you die. We started that at age 30. That's how you die. You don't necessarily die by putting this.

[Adam Carolla]

I've seen Cocoon, though. This doesn't end well.

[Brian Bishop]

Like those NFL players, they take testosterone and what, 20% of those people are killers at best?

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, maybe. Maybe 20, 22.

[Brian Bishop]

Exactly. So that doesn't show us anything.

[Gina Grad]

That's right.

[Gary]

It's a higher ratio in the skill positions, but you're right, it's this.

[Gina Grad]

By the way, stuff is called testocomposatum.

[Adam Carolla]

Coenzyme. Permitted herbal medicine. You know what? I don't like how they call testosterone T. Like, if you have low T.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, I don't know.

[Adam Carolla]

Doesn't make it any more fetching, especially.

[Gina Grad]

With the T cell thing. So basically, who cares if the guy was juicing, number one. Number two, agreed. The whole. It's, did you kill your girlfriend or not? And, like, to me, like, you take the whole OJ thing. We have tapes of 911, of her screaming, he's gonna kill me. That's. That's about it.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Gina Grad]

And then once we find the person who was on the tape saying, screaming, he's gonna kill me. Once they. I don't care if we find him dead because of maritime disaster, I'm going after the fucking guy. Who's the he in that equation? As a matter of fact, all you women out there just to fuck with your man ought to just call 911 and scream, he's gonna kill me right now. Just so it's on tape, it's on file.

[Adam Carolla]

Should it all be done on the same day?

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, we should have a national. Call 911 and scream, he's gonna kill me.

[Gary]

Flood the system.

[Gina Grad]

Flood the system day. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Speaking of dead bodies and other things that are disgusting. A corpse was found in a water tank on the roof of a hotel in downtown la. It had been there for two weeks. The way they found it was people at the hotel were complaining about low water pressure. So a maintenance man went up there to see what was going on and found the decomposing body of Elisa Lam, a Canadian who had gone missing. And they don't know yet how she died.

[Gina Grad]

At least she was Asian. What I mean is. No, I'm saying is finding a decomposing body. Oh, that goes 110 pounds and is hairless. You got a fat Armenian dude up there.

[Gary]

Good point.

[Gina Grad]

You got like Ron Jeremy up there. Like, that's bad time.

[Gary]

Eastern bloc, Russian mafia.

[Gina Grad]

Plus there's like, oh, I'm telling you. Like, if you said to me, no.

[Adam Carolla]

It'S a great point.

[Gina Grad]

People are like. People are like. It's a fantastic point. People are like, oh, they were drinking that water. They were showering that water, brushing their teeth with it. Brushing teeth, that water. And then. So if I stayed at that hotel during the time there was a decomposing body up in the water tank, and I. And I went like, well, let me see a picture of it. And he showed an attractive, perky, petite Asian broad, I'd be like, do you.

[Adam Carolla]

Think it might kind of an advertisement for the hotel? Well, that's. Who goes there.

[Gina Grad]

I wouldn't take it that far. I wouldn't take it that far, but I'd go, I was brushing my teeth with her. Okay. But if you showed me Sheikh Khalid or whatever, Mohammed or something, you know, you showed me, like, a hairy, swarthy, Middle Eastern, heavyset dude.

[Gary]

Ksm.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah. Find me ksm. You show me a picture of that dude, and I never stopped vomiting. I never stopped vomiting.

[Brian Bishop]

I wouldn't mind showering with her.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, that's right. You essentially showered with her. You showered with her spirit. Now her spirit is in you.

[Adam Carolla]

Someone who stayed at the hotel said, there's a quote. The water did have a funny taste, but for some reason, I am. I'm thinking, well, now you're saying that because you know.

[Gina Grad]

Right?

[Adam Carolla]

Did it really, though? You stayed at the hotel for eight days.

[Gina Grad]

Now there's Khalid Sheikh Mohammed. Now, what if you found out he was in that tank? You'd never stop yelling, I'm checking out.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, I'm checking out.

[Gina Grad]

Mm.

[Adam Carolla]

See you with him, though. You'd know because hairs would be coming through.

[Gina Grad]

She was Canadian, too.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Gina Grad]

Like, it's a little. They're a little cleaner than we are.

[Gary]

Ooh, good Point, definitely. They have universal healthcare. She was certainly healthy.

[Brian Bishop]

Of the two, I would take the first one by far.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah. All right. Just make sense.

[Adam Carolla]

The shower was awful. When you turned the water on, it was coming black for the first two seconds. Then it went back to normal. That's just a shitty hotel, though.

[Gina Grad]

Welcome to la, everybody.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, I gotta go with Adam. This is just an overall positive story.

[Gina Grad]

I feel horrible for her. I'm just saying I would if I was one of the people stay in the hotel and they said, there's a body decomposing in the water tank. You may have taken a shower. First off, Bullet dodge. Because I rarely shower, I'd be like, you know, you guys all make fun of me for never taking a shower. Now who's laughing? Because you're all covered with decomposed Asian body vindication, number one. Total vindication for me not showering and barely brushing my teeth, number one. Number two, I'd want to see the body. Like I said, if you look like Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, I never stopped throwing up.

[Brian Bishop]

She looks like a nice skater or something.

[Gina Grad]

Here's what I'm saying. You. When you check into a hotel, you hope that there's no decomposing body that is coming through the pipes and into your shower and sink. You hope you do.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, you hope.

[Gina Grad]

But if you have to have a decomposing body, you can't do better than this.

[Brian Bishop]

That's the girl.

[Gina Grad]

That's what I'm saying.

[Adam Carolla]

All right. That girl or golden retriever.

[Gina Grad]

I'd still. I still have her. I'd take her just with fur. I mean, you can keep going.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay. Okay. Alligator.

[Gina Grad]

Stop taking the Asian soap. Well, soap, I probably.

[Brian Bishop]

I knew I'd find.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, well, you jump too far ahead.

[Adam Carolla]

Right? Awesome.

[Gina Grad]

Ooh, ooh.

[Adam Carolla]

Hairless cat.

[Gina Grad]

Well, now, just because of the mass, you know what I mean? Because hairless cat goes about £8. All right, sorry. Anyway, she's gonna be missed. No disrespect. I'm just saying. Look, it may be backhanded, but it's a compliment. That's sort of the ultimate compliment I'm paying her, Ben.

[Gary]

Should have a rapper do her obituary.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, but she's real.

[Gina Grad]

She's real.

[Brian Bishop]

I don't. I don't make fun of. I only make fun of real dead people on podcasts. Yeah.

[Gina Grad]

By the way, if I were. Jesus Christ. First off, that maintenance guy is gonna need a tip. You know what I mean? Yeah. I feel like if the dude at the Starbucks is getting a tip, that guy needs a tip.

[Brian Bishop]

That's a long day.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, it's a long day. That's not what you want to find when you crack the lid on on the hopper on the roof.

[Gary]

Now's the time to approach the boss about a raise, Right?

[Adam Carolla]

This is perhaps a dumb, dumb thing, but I didn't realize that hotels have big water tanks on the roof. Is that how this always works?

[Gina Grad]

I see them in New York all the time and I see them in any movie where there's a meteor that's gonna hit the thing because they gotta go through the thing. You know, they got something to fall over, something to blow apart and all that kind of stuff. But I don't know, they had them in la. I just assumed they use municipal water that's pumped in and I didn't know if they pump it up to the top and then it's a gravity feed or whatever.

[Brian Bishop]

Where else are you going to put the Asian women?

[Gina Grad]

Well, it's a decent point. Yeah, you got to keep them somewhere.

[Adam Carolla]

A question about your not showering. Like if I don't take a shower the next day, I just feel kind of gross.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Even if I'm not right, you don't ever feel a little bit not so fresh?

[Gina Grad]

If I've done something to merit it. But I need to do something that's kind of filthy. Like I need to really be working around metal for a while. Like I need to get my grind on. Can you do the.

[Brian Bishop]

Can you do the gym and no shower and bed?

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, well, see, I don't, I don't sweat like most people sweat. I sweat, but just sort of water. Like I have this weird thing where I will jump my rope. I will sweat through my T shirt. It'll be sopping wet. I'll hang it on the railing of my stairs. The next day I'll pick it up. If you smell it, you can't tell whether it was sweat or sweat upon or not. I'm clean that way. I don't have that. I don't have that thing going on.

[Brian Bishop]

Can you go to bed without a shower after that?

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, I can. I can get totally drenched in sweat, wipe myself off, get dressed, and then go to bed that night and have no problems whatsoever.

[Adam Carolla]

You see, it's more a psychological thing, I think.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, I could never do that.

[Gina Grad]

I rinse myself off like twice a week and that's just rinse. I just rinse. I just go up to the hopper on top of the hotel room and jump into that tank, you know, maybe the guy. You guys can find a picture. But Maybe the animal that dumped this poor Asian woman up there had watched a little too much Petticoat Junction growing up. Now no one has any idea what the fuck I'm talking about, I'll be honest. But when I show you a picture, when Dawson finds me the right picture of Petticoat, I don't know what you're talking about. Then you're all gonna laugh and you're not going to say it, but you're going to think that's why they call him Ace. Keep going.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm ready. LA has become the first major city in the world to synchronize all of its traffic signals. Villagrosa has been trumpeting this.

[Gina Grad]

There's a picture of Petticoat Junction.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, wow.

[Gina Grad]

You gotta pull back a little bit. But they.

[Gary]

That's why they call them Ace.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, you pull back a little. But I love.

[Adam Carolla]

There's a dog in there.

[Gina Grad]

They bathed in the water tank.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

And their Yorkie did too.

[Gina Grad]

There's the water tank from Petticoat Junction. And them and their Yorkie. Hot chicks. That was as much tail as I saw growing up. Was the hot chicks from Petticoat Junction.

[Gary]

Nice 70s tan lines.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah. There they are bathing, skinny dipping in the town water tank.

[Brian Bishop]

And that's the same tank, right?

[Gina Grad]

Same tank, yeah. All right, go ahead, tell me about. Tell me about.

[Adam Carolla]

The completion of this project will increase travel speeds by 16% and reduce travel time by 12%.

[Gina Grad]

Right.

[Adam Carolla]

So the LA mayor's office has tweeted. Here's one. Syncing all of LA's traffic signals reduces nearly one metric ton of pollution annually and saves you one day of waiting in traffic. And also proud to announce today that all 4,398 traffic signals in LA are synced to our automated traffic control system. So what was it before censors?

[Gina Grad]

I don't know. Ben, Is it legal to turn right on a red in Kentucky?

[Brian Bishop]

It is.

[Gina Grad]

It is.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Gina Grad]

And it's that way in many parts of the country.

[Brian Bishop]

It's everywhere, I thought, right? Not New York, I guess.

[Gina Grad]

No, there are many parts of the country where it's not legal to turn right on a red. Here's how fucking stupid this fucking city is. And our fucking mayor is. And he should not be crowing about this victory. It is illegal to turn right on a red in Los Angeles, yet three quarters of the people driving the city have no fucking idea it's legal to turn right on a red. And you honk at them and they still don't move. Once in a while. They Wake up. And they go, oh, okay. And they do it. Other times they don't do it. Other times you're behind a car that's behind them and you honk and the person goes, well, what do you want me to do? The guy's not turning. Honk your fucking horn. So as I've said a million times, it is illegal to turn right on a red. We do not turn right on a red. Oftentimes. Oftentimes some people are aware and do it, but many people do not do it. It could easily be remedied with an awareness campaign that is non existent. Has anyone ever seen a sign, has anyone ever seen a campaign that said turn right on a red? No, it does not exist. The other thing that doesn't exist is the thing that says if you can steer it, clear it like they have in other cities, where if you get in a little fender bender, you can pull over on the side, you don't have to get out. It's not a CSI crime scene. You don't have to exchange all your fluids.

[Brian Bishop]

In Kentucky.

[Gina Grad]

In Kentucky, yeah, You get in a fucking fender bender, you don't get out of your car in the third lane and have a long conversation about the 50 cents worth of damage that was done to your fucking Camry bumper. You pull the fuck off the freeway.

[Brian Bishop]

On fountain today, same thing.

[Gina Grad]

People just getting out of their car.

[Brian Bishop]

The fountain, you know, is basically one lane. It should be a two minute drive. And these people are just out blocking both fucking lanes.

[Gina Grad]

Right, right. The point is, if we gave a shit. And every freeway sign, every electric. I did it today just to drive myself insane. I pulled out of my driveway and I did not fasten my seatbelt in my car. And the chime went off five times. Placard lit on dashboard, loud chime, where's your seatbelt? How come you haven't put your seatbelt on? And then I let it go. I said, you know what? I'm not going to let it go. I'm not going to fasten my seatbelt and see how long it takes before this chime goes off again. And by the way, will it go on in perpetuity? And sure enough, I started counting. One, two, nine seconds later it went off again. I said, how long does this continue? 1 On the 9th second it went off again. It went in perpetuity. So this is built into every automobile. We don't need the click it or ticket campaign that's on every single one of those freeway signs. There's fucking freeway signs. Must cost $2 million a pop, right? If I know anything about this city, it's 2 million bucks a fucking pop. And it's another million bucks a year to have some retard. Keep them updated. All right? There's no.

[Adam Carolla]

That job pays a million a year.

[Gary]

Holy shit.

[Gina Grad]

Well, by the time the dust settles on all pension. Pension and all that stuff, by the time everything. We're all in. It's millions of dollars a year to have a large sign, a state of the art sign that says nothing but click it or ticket, which is completely insane since every vehicle already has that built into it. You cannot sell a vehicle and you have.

[Brian Bishop]

So that's by law.

[Gina Grad]

Of course there's a fucking. Find the fucking thing since 1978 or 74. Like, I mean, it's not only. It's not only been on the books, it's been on the books. If you want to be an automotive manufacturer, you cannot build a car that does not have an alert system for you not having your seatbelt plugged in. And it's been this way for over 30 fucking years. But all we can come up with is click it or ticket. Not it's legal to turn right on a red. Not if you can steer it. Clear it. Nothing that would alleviate traffic whatsoever. So when this fucking hypocrite retard of a mayor of ours wants to sit and crowd and pound his chest about being the first in the nation or whatever, fuck you. Because I've been driving your fucking cluttered, shitty fucking highways for the last 30 years in this city and you've done shit. And by the way, why not? Why not a cam? Why not something other than clicking her ticket? It's nothing. Clicking or ticket is nothing. It's nothing. It's built into every fucking car. I've said it a million times. What if every fucking pair of pants. What if every pair of pants made since 1978 had a buzzer that went off and a light that flashed when the zipper was down? Would we need a zip it or nip it campaign? I'm like, what kind of campaign would we need? We don't need it. It's built in. It's built into every fucking car. So if you are ignoring it, if you've decided to ignore the super loud audible chime that's going on inside your car, why then. All right, I don't care when the first seat belt law came. Not interested in that. And I don't the system. Not when it first appeared. When did it become a federal mandate? What year did every. Because there's laws. There's laws that they pass. It's not like, well, Ford, you do your thing. Chevy, you do your thing. No, you can't build a car without an airbag. You can't build a car without a five mile an hour bumper on it. You cannot build a car without a brake light that's higher than 36 inches off the ground. There's a million and one mandates about building automobiles. And this one goes back to. It's in my book somewhere, but it's like 1978, maybe it's 76. Well over 30 years.

[Brian Bishop]

This law has. Of all the laws, this one affects me, affects other people the least. I mean, I can see why they have a campaign to click in your kid. That makes sense, right? I guess if people are that dumb. But that's the least problem on the road. What do I care if you're not wearing your seatbelt?

[Gina Grad]

Well, first off, you could argue just that's your prerogative. If you've decided that you don't want to wear your seatbelt, then you don't have to wear your seatbelt.

[Brian Bishop]

Yellow to the beat.

[Gina Grad]

But yeah, we live in the United States. I would argue. And other people would say, well, you get into an accident and you're uninsured, and then we have to pay your medical costs. And it's severe because you weren't wearing your seatbelt. I'm fine with people wearing their seatbelt. I'm fine with them not wearing their seatbelt. I'm saying click it or ticket gets nobody to wear their seatbelt. Unless we're all driving around desotos and unaware of the fact that they have seat belts.

[Adam Carolla]

And not only that, you begin to. When you see something, repeatedly, you tune out. So if you're already the kind of person who's tuned out the chime, seeing the same words on a sign that you pass every day, there's no way that's sinking in. At least come up with some other dumb poem.

[Gina Grad]

Since 1975, manufacturers have been required to install 4 to 8 second audible and visual warnings in the car when the seat belt was not fastened. It's inside of the fucking car and it's coming on 40 fucking years. And we're so fucking stupid that this is what we think is a good idea. This is zero effect. Yet move your shit off to the side of the road would have. Would serve a great effect. And turning right on a red would have a great effect too, but we're not interested. This guy's a fucking sociopath. Hypocrite I cannot wait till he's gone. I can't wait till Tony Velar is his real name. I can't wait till he fucking packs it up. And if he runs for governor, we are fucked. We're going to have to move out of here.

[Adam Carolla]

So you don't feel hopeful about the reduction in traffic time.

[Gina Grad]

It's nice, it's going to help. I'm sure it'll be marginalized. I like the notion that after what feels like 136 years in fucking office that this guy's attempting to do something that alleviate traffic. But I have 10 things you could start tomorrow that wouldn't cost a fucking penny, that they won't touch, that they never get near. I'd like to get three cars going on a left. How about the asshole who, when the signal cycles, doesn't pull out into the intersection to the last second. How about we wake that guy up and listen, here's what I'm saying. We have campaigns for everything. Everything is. Wait, wake up, wake up. Hey, no child left behind. Hey, hey, feed your kid. Hey, take care of this. Hey, no senior abuse. Hey, hey, no trafficking. No human trafficking. Hey, everybody, everybody, here's what you. Hey, nutrition. How about all those fucking commercials you see on. Hey, don't feed your kid popcorn balls filled with lard. You got to give them vegetables and fruits and things like that. We do nothing but campaigns of awareness. Why not? Any awareness that involves driving efficiency and moving, it's always slow down 55 saves lives. Click it or tick it and report drunk driving. It has nothing to do with efficiency or moving.

[Gary]

Yes, if it doesn't say those things. I took this picture on my way to work the other day, right? Sign test, giant test for hours.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, well, what about the. What about the millions of people that were killed when they didn't put their seatbelt on because there was no click at or fucking ticket. Yeah, we get it. It's a law. You have to wear your fucking seatbelt.

[Gary]

You know what exacerbates the right turn problem is the signs on the right, on the right side that say no right turn in red and then below in little letters, 8am to 10am Sundays, people. So people can't read it, don't read it. It's too far away or they're distracted.

[Gina Grad]

All they see is the big, the big fucking universal slash through the right turn.

[Gary]

How do you explain to someone that it's. You know what I mean? There's no international check your watch sign from behind.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't Know you should have more options.

[Gina Grad]

Why, why do we have. Why do we have left turn arrows that ever fucking turn red? They should just be fucking green. And then they should go to nothing. So you could turn when it was safe to turn. I mean, we're insane. We do nothing and Villa Tardo does nothing. So fuck him and his stupid syncing up the signals.

[Adam Carolla]

Nestle has recalled a bunch of products, beef products in Europe, because horse DNA was found in the food. And then I being, you know, a Colombo of sorts, I was like, well, wait a minute, maybe it's that the cows ate cow food that had horse in it. But no, some of the supposed beef was like 100% horse meat. Basically, they're serving horse meat.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, really? Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

And calling it beef.

[Gina Grad]

This is one of those things that we all get freaked out about. But again, I can't figure out the. What we're supposed to eat and what we're not supposed to eat.

[Brian Bishop]

Who gives a shit?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, restaurant. If you, I mean, if you want to eat horse, just cross the border and go into Canada because there are restaurants that serve it there.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, we're just like, we're freaked out because we've decided that like, to me, it's weird because you take a look at like a big bluefin or yellowfin tuna, and that's a fairly majestic creature. And then you take a look at or a shark or something like that, or. And then you take a look at a chicken. A chicken's like a cockroach. But then we were talking about before, like, you wouldn't eat pigeon, but you'd eat chicken. And then you go, oh, well, the pigeons are filthy. But then I don't know what the fucking, what kind of environment the chickens are being raised in. And like, you would eat a cow and you wouldn't have eaten a buffalo, but now you'll eat a buffalo.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, people eat baby cow, but you.

[Gina Grad]

Eat baby cow, but you wouldn't eat a moose. But you might if you grew up in Montreal. Like half of it is where you grow up.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Gina Grad]

So who really gives a shit? It's just protein. It's just muscles. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Horse meat doesn't freak me out that much. I wouldn't go out of my way to eat it. But.

[Gina Grad]

Well, if you just pulled in somebody from a different planet and you showed them a Clydesdale and he showed them a cow, and you're going, which ones you like to eat tonight? They probably, most of them would go for the Clydesdale. They'd go, plus it's pulling a Keg of beer.

[Adam Carolla]

It looks more fun.

[Gina Grad]

Ed McMahon's there.

[Brian Bishop]

You ride it and eat it.

[Gina Grad]

You ride it and eat it. Yeah. And you eat it as you go. You know what I mean? No, that's stupid.

[Adam Carolla]

I mean, that would slow your. It would slow your ride down.

[Brian Bishop]

No, but I think you're right, you know, like in my hometown, obviously, you know, horses are gods. That's where people make millions of dollars.

[Gina Grad]

Kentucky.

[Brian Bishop]

So you would, you would think so. People are like, you know, you can't eat this gradient. But I'm with you. I want the cooler.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

I want the better meat.

[Gina Grad]

Right. But the notion that you would never eat a dog, but you would eat a baby cow, you know, it's just. Or a deer. Like, what the fuck's the difference between a deer and a dog? Or rabbit you might eat, like, there's a lot of definitely a rabbit animals on the maybe list. I have, I got a lot. Even a couple of humans. The ultimate prey, by the way. The ultimate prey's a dangerous game.

[Brian Bishop]

Put it this way. We've been eating horses and we're fine.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, that's the other thing too. Like, alright, is everyone cool?

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, cool.

[Gina Grad]

And when you buy that can of beef hash, you know, from fanny camps or something, like, what do you think's in there? I mean, not that there's horse in there, but how great is whatever product look, it's protein. And the good news is, no matter how bad it is, you're gonna shit it out in less than 15 hours. So what are you doing marrying it?

[Adam Carolla]

Have you ever eaten dog food? Because I spend a lot of time now looking at the label on the dog food bag thinking it's bas. Basically just human food.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

I mean, if the label's being believed.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah. So like gelatinous human food.

[Adam Carolla]

And one of these days I'm gonna try it.

[Gina Grad]

I've done the thing where I, you know, fake eat the food to try to kick start my dog. Look at me, look at me. Look, I'm enjoying your food here. You want in? Because this is nummy, nummy, nummy, nummy, nummy. That has to be the most entertaining part of a dog's life. Watching the owner, I'd say somewhere debase themselves. I think picking up the shit would be number one for me. Like, I got a little something for you there.

[Gary]

The dogs talk about it amongst them. I got my dipshit under, eating my food.

[Gina Grad]

Hey, master. That's good. I took a shit. Gonna need you to grab that. Neighbors are watching. So let's Go ahead and carry that back to the house. And then secondly, I want you to do the fake thing where you pretend to eat my food for me and do the nummy, nummy, nummy thing. Yeah, you want to do that? Let's say you want to do the nummy, nummy, nummy thing, but your dog's out of town.

[Gary]

Oh, the wife's calling you. Dog won't eat the food. You're away on business. What the fuck?

[Gina Grad]

Gotomeeting, baby. That's what you use. GoToMeeting. GoToMeeting with HD faces and new technology called nummy, nummy, nummy, brought to you by Citrix. It's a powerfully simple way to meet and collaborate, share documents and spreadsheets, collaborate in HD video, and, you know, host, attend meetings. You use the Mac, use the PC, use the iPhone, use the iPad. IPad, the iPod, your tablet, whatever. You gotomeeting Good, guys, great sponsors, and you can host meetings, and you can do it for free for 30 days. Go to meeting, visit GoToMeeting.com, click on the tried free button, and use the promo code. Adam. All right, let's do. Let's do another story. What do we got here?

[Adam Carolla]

Okay, an airline passenger slapped a toddler who wouldn't stop crying. And what he said is, who's toddler?

[Gina Grad]

Is it theirs or someone else?

[Adam Carolla]

No. Was sitting next to a woman who had a toddler who wouldn't stop crying.

[Brian Bishop]

There's where you get in trouble.

[Adam Carolla]

And he told the mother to shut that N word baby up. But he didn't say it the way I said it.

[Gary]

What'd he say?

[Adam Carolla]

Tyke? No, he said it in a nurturing way. No, no, he said. He said the. He said the whole N word.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, I see what you're saying.

[Adam Carolla]

I was making a joke. It didn't work.

[Brian Bishop]

Can I stick up for this guy first?

[Adam Carolla]

Sure.

[Gina Grad]

Funny, because he looks like Mr. Drummond.

[Adam Carolla]

He looks a lot nicer in that photo than the one on this piece of paper. He looks really drunk here. And he was drunk. And she said that he smelled. He, like, was reeking of alcohol, and he got in her face and he scratched the baby's eye. Like, under the eye was scratched. And she said that the baby used to be outgoing, and now he's very apprehensive.

[Gary]

He's like a Bond villain.

[Gina Grad]

The baby used to be.

[Adam Carolla]

So he's now lost his job.

[Brian Bishop]

The baby.

[Adam Carolla]

Mm. The guy. Joe Ricky Hundley. That's his name. From Idaho.

[Gina Grad]

Three names. Idaho. That makes sense.

[Adam Carolla]

Joe Ricky Hundley. He's no longer an employee of AGC Aerospace and Defense.

[Gina Grad]

Well, a couple things. First off, happiest man on the planet, Alec Baldwin. That's number one. Because there's another guy out there tossing around the racial slurs.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Gina Grad]

And bumped me off the lead page. The New York Post. Number one. Number two, I don't agree with this guy, but I do want him defending our nation. I want him working on our aerospace. I like this guy. I want these guys working on stuff to kill the ruskies.

[Adam Carolla]

Drunk assholes.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, yeah. I don't mind if he's working with kids. I want him out. If he's driving a school bus, no can do. If he's working on Predator drones, this is the kind of guy I need this. Who I'm looking.

[Brian Bishop]

Doesn't that look like too cliche? I mean, that's just like the. The most cliched, like, drunk redneck in a suit and the cutest black baby.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah.

[Robert Mazur]

Yes, hello, my name is Graham.

[Adam Carolla]

And the baby's. The mother is white.

[Gina Grad]

Now, how old is the kid?

[Adam Carolla]

Two.

[Gina Grad]

Two. All right, so guys get drunk and they fucking can't handle their booze, man. Now, did the airplane. Did the airline, like, ban him? The airline's gotta go. You can no longer use our airline or whatever it is. Right. At least they have to sort of posture.

[Brian Bishop]

I heard the first one's a warning.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, really?

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, you can do that once you're.

[Adam Carolla]

Allowed one day slapping. No, I don't know, but I would imagine, yeah, there was a lot of. No one's on his side. Basically. A lot of people on the plane had a reaction. I imagine the airline had a reaction. His place of employment had a reaction.

[Gina Grad]

I'm for every part of this story except for the part where the kid's no longer outgoing. Like you're two. You fucking fall into a well, you spend a week there and the next day you're playing softball. Like, the good news about being two is you shake off weird shit pretty fast. I mean, because you don't know what's going on. I mean, you have a drunken racist smack you, or you're walking through the hall and the big dog comes around the corner and knocks you down. It's just. That's what being two is. Part of being two is not knowing what the fuck is going on.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, well, but don't some.

[Gina Grad]

No.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay.

[Gina Grad]

It's not. It's. You can't say he's no longer outgoing because of this shit happens to you when you're too. All I Mean, you look when you're two, you fucking reach up and grab boiling pots of water and you get. Like I said, you. Soap gets in your eye and you start screaming. But then five minutes later, you're watching Dora the Explorer and laughing your ass off. You're not scarred for life because Drunken, first off, he doesn't. You don't know the racial component of it.

[Brian Bishop]

I was gonna say that too.

[Gina Grad]

You probably don't. And then also this guy, you get whacked. I mean, by the way, there's a lot of two year olds that get whacked by their parents. This is just whacked by someone else than their parent. I was hit by everybody but my parents. As you know, I was hit by other adults.

[Brian Bishop]

Seriously?

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, yeah. Grandpa Al Lewis from the Munsters hit me and a woman named Roberta.

[Gary]

Monsters.

[Gina Grad]

Both of them in a car. Well, yeah, but she's just standing.

[Gary]

Okay.

[Gina Grad]

She doesn't count.

[Gary]

Makes sense.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, makes sense. Yeah. My parents never hit me, but I was hit by other parents.

[Adam Carolla]

But it didn't affect you at all? Did it make you hate them?

[Gina Grad]

It didn't make me think. Whatever. I just thought I had it coming. Like, I don't know, couple hours maybe.

[Brian Bishop]

Is what you're saying.

[Gina Grad]

What I'm saying is this guy's an ass wipe. This guy's probably an alcoholic.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Gina Grad]

And he's a horrible individual. But you don't need to pile onto the kid where the kid used to be outgoing and now he's not anymore. He's two. He doesn't want to.

[Brian Bishop]

I want to see video this. I'd pay $1,000 right now to watch a video.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't really understand. And maybe this is just because I'm a really nice person with ovaries. I don't understand the anger at the child. I can understand being with the parents.

[Gina Grad]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

But to be honest, you ever been.

[Brian Bishop]

Drunk on a plane?

[Gina Grad]

That's where the booze is.

[Adam Carolla]

Not drunk enough, I guess.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, yeah. As long. As long as the parent is doing everything the parent can do, including pulling the parent's shirt up and putting it over the kid's head and stuff like that and snuffing it out with a pillow, I'm fine.

[Adam Carolla]

I saw that message.

[Gina Grad]

If the parent sits there with the earbuds in and pretends nothing's going on, that's when I get pissed.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, but that looks like a guy who's like, he gets up in the morning and like, what's an excuse to slap a black baby and use the n Word.

[Gina Grad]

Now, turbulence here.

[Adam Carolla]

Look at, look at this photo.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah.

[Gary]

Also note to future racist, try and time your racial out.

[Adam Carolla]

There we go.

[Gary]

Your final descent. Because otherwise it's a long.

[Adam Carolla]

How many years in between these two photos? Like 15.

[Brian Bishop]

I say an hour.

[Gina Grad]

People can't see them really, so I don't give a shit. But the point is this also, I hate when these guys do this because we don't live in a racist society. We live in a society that has handfuls or pockets of drunken racist assholes that then fuck it up for the rest of us all the time. You know what I had to do today? I was meeting my buddy and I was meeting him for lunch, and he super prompt guy, and I hate to be the 10 minutes late guy, but I was driving my car from here and the car was on zero. You know, the digital. Here's what you got left. There's a bullshit device in cars now because it's like you're on zero for eight miles. How's that mathematically possible? But I did the thing where if I pulled over for gas and filled up, I was going to be late. But if I chanced it, I might run out of gas. So I pulled over and I did a. Like, Dukes of Hazzard slide over the hood. You know, fill it up, try to get out of there as fast as I possibly could. And the director from Two Guys, a girl in the pizza place, pulled up in the exact same Jag I was driving. And he's like, hey, man. And he's a black guy. And I go, hey, how you doing? And right then, the thing, like, clicks, you know? Now I know my buddy's sitting at the Good Neighbor Cafe waiting for me. And he's like, hey, I did two guys, a girl in the pizza place. And I was like, he's black. I can't go, that's awesome. And jump in my car and drive.

[Adam Carolla]

Away because then you're a racist douchebag.

[Gina Grad]

I gotta go. Like, yeah, sure. He said, you did an episode with us. Remember that? I was like, right. I did the limousine episode. He goes, that's right. And I had to go, is he a big fan?

[Adam Carolla]

Because I'm sure he's gonna love this.

[Gina Grad]

Well, I'm just saying this. I like the guy. I remember the guy. But I also wanted. I had to get the fuck out of there. But because he's a black guy, I had to give him an extra cup. Like, you'll do the handshake or whatever. Like, I did the. I didn't want to Go. Yeah, yeah, whatever. I didn't want to give him the high hat, you know what I mean? Like, you know, hey, yeah, yeah, see ya. So I. I did the. Yeah, man, what are you working on now? And he said, I'm working with Cedric the Entertainer. And I thought, well, you bowl me over with a feather, number one. You knock me down with a feather. But then I had to ask a couple of follow up questions and do the. All right, take care. But normally I would just sprint and jump back to my car. If he was, you know, regular white director. If he's like Truman Capote color. Yeah, it's Leonard R. Garner Jr. And we had to talk. Nice guy. He directed. Wow, that was good. That was fast. He directed for two guys, a girl in the pizza place, right? Yeah.

[Gary]

Plus, because he was black, you couldn't explain. You were late either.

[Gina Grad]

No, yeah, yeah, yeah. That wouldn't work. Like, that would not. You're late. What does that mean?

[Gary]

No, I gotta. I'm 10 minutes late. I gotta. I. I'm literally. The guy's been there for 10 minutes waiting for me.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, no, that. Yeah, you're right. You're right, you're right. That is so racist. That is so racist. Somebody slapped.

[Gary]

Well, good thing we're not live video streaming. Cut that out.

[Gina Grad]

Across the thin black line. But I like where your head's at, kid. Let's get him a raise. Yeah, no, he's nice. I knew him from 15 years ago, but I did not want to blow him off because he was black and I didn't want him to think I was part of the problem. See what I'm saying?

[Adam Carolla]

I pretty much never have time to talk to anyone that I may run into. And people who do, do they just make sure that they're not running late? Cause I'm always cutting it so close that I'm like, God, I hope I don't run into anyone.

[Gina Grad]

That was my thought. And then the brother and the Jag pulled up and. Was that Ryan Reynolds?

[Adam Carolla]

I think it was, yes.

[Gina Grad]

Young Ryan Reynolds, by the way.

[Gary]

Dreamier.

[Gina Grad]

Nicest dude in the world, big Love lion fan, and. Oh, that's why.

[Gary]

Canadian.

[Gina Grad]

That's right. All right, let's bring it home, baby girl.

[Adam Carolla]

That's the news. I'm Alison Rosen. Zip it, Kunst.

[Robert Mazur]

That was the news with Alison Rosenberg.

[Adam Carolla]

Shut that N word, baby up.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, that's Nathan Fillion, too, I would argue. And as I've said to my brother, friends many times are really just dag. Cause he's the only one I associate with but for every horrible drunken racist on an airplane, there are five of us that are trying to overcompensate for him with weird handshakes we're not used to.

[Gary]

Or her.

[Adam Carolla]

Shut that N word baby up.

[Gina Grad]

That's right. And extra talk at the gas pump. All right, LegalZoom, baby. LegalZoom.com It's National Start yout Business month and you want to get started off right. Well, whether you want to start up an LLC, an S Corp, sole proprietorship or nonprofit, LegalZoom is where you go. They take care of you, start to finish. And here's a pretty overwhelming stat. Over 90% of LegalZoom customers recommend their service to family. That is unbelievable. So start your business with legalzoom.com LegalZoom.

[Robert Mazur]

Is not a law firm and provides self help services at your specific direction. Now, every LLC and incorporation package includes easy to use business accounting software. A$269 value free. Be sure to enter Adam in the referral box at checkout. Start your business, protect your family and safeguard your [e-mail] today.

[Gina Grad]

All right, I'm gonna be performing at the Nugget in Reno coming up this Saturday. We're also gonna do a little mangria tasting over there. So show up and let's party. Amalfi this coming Wednesday live show and another little mangria party. And me and Drew in Denver and me and Prager out at the Valley Center Performing Arts CSUN coming up March 16th. So if you want to come see us, come check it out. Ben Hoffman, baby. The Ben show premieres Comedy Central Thursday, February 28, 10pm an excellent, excellent program.

[Brian Bishop]

Thank you.

[Gina Grad]

Enjoy it. And you can Twitter him at the Ben show and also check out the website cc.com ben. So until next time, it's Adam Kroll for Ben Hoffman, Allison Rosen, and Ball Brian. Say it. Mahalo. Uh oh. Small dick Corolla's gonna turn his ass on humanity.

[Wheeler Walker Jr.]

All right, this is Adam Caroll show 1019 with Ben Hoffman. This is his first appearance out of character as himself. Here's Ben returning to the show on Adam Carla Show 1874 featuring Wheeler Walker Jr. Robert Mazur, Gina Grad, and Brian Bishop from 2016. Check it out.

[Gina Grad]

Good day, Gina.

[Dawson]

Graham, good day to you.

[Gina Grad]

And Baldron. Show me your nuts.

[Gary]

You said it, boss.

[Gina Grad]

All right, so lots to discuss today. Yeah, Robert Mazur, interesting guy. Deep cover man, Pablo Escobar. We do a lot of romanticizing on some of these guys because they build some people from soccer fields and stuff, but Pablo did a man. I mean, there's weird. See, for me, there's little glimpses. You throw a little cash, build a couple soccer fields.

[Gary]

Does one really build a soccer field.

[Dawson]

Or does it just appear in a field?

[Gina Grad]

Well, yeah, Yeah. I think you have to remove some shopping carts and some bodies over there.

[Gary]

Just clear a field.

[Gina Grad]

You clear. It's why soccer is the. The biggest sport in the world. Because you can keep an entire village busy with a small ball filled of the catgut liner in it, and they just kick it around. And it works on dirt. It works anywhere. And that's. That's. Yeah. You know, no equipment to bury it in. Yeah. Whereas the crew team requires a little more. Yeah.

[Dawson]

Now, I know you're not a huge reader and it was a lot of subtitles, so I think I know the answer, but did you see Narcos, the series?

[Gina Grad]

No.

[Dawson]

It's gonna kick up against.

[Gina Grad]

I heard it was awesome though. But yeah, Escobar, I mean, you know, so it's me. It's like when I hear that Don King stomped a guy to death. Like, literally stomped a guy to death. Although I guarantee everyone hates Donald Trump way more than they hate.

[Gary]

Sure.

[Gina Grad]

And they would say he's a worse human being and a more angry or whatever, but Don King's done a nice job. But he stomped a guy to death. Pablo took down a commercial flight because he thought a politician who wasn't even in power, but may have been in power at some point was on that flight. And I think he was on that flight. Or maybe the guy never got on the flight, but he sent one of his buddies with a suitcase full of dynamite to just go get on the flight.

[Gary]

Hey, better safe than sorry, boy.

[Gina Grad]

You know, I do get the part where, you know, rivaling gangs and people get shot and things like that, but I'm just gonna take down a commercial flight just on the off chance that this guy may be elected district selectman at some point in the future. Thorough that is attention to detail. I have zero sense of humanity or care nothing about any other individual but myself. I mean, that is one guy you're gonna kill. There's another 113 people on it that have nothing to do and. But many may hail from your village and kids and everything else. And it's like they're going to. On the off chance. And I suppose you could just do the whole Vespa with the machine pistol thing at any given time you wanted with this guy on the way to the airport or after he lands or whatever it is. But now we don't know if the.

[Gary]

Whole plane sends a robust message.

[Gina Grad]

Yes. I can't remember if the guy was on the plane or not. The other part is the guy he sent to go do it was a kind of confidant. Like, you know, he wasn't. The guy sent to do it, was, you know, part henchman. Right.

[Dawson]

Not a grunt.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, it was, like, sort of friendly with the guy. Like, hey, here's what I need you to do.

[Dawson]

Anything for you best friend.

[Gina Grad]

Blow you up, too. All right, so we'll get into that. The politician was not on the plane. He was slated to be, but at the last second, his team, like, flipped a coin and they decided not to put him on. Hey, worst news for families whose kids are smoldering on the ground. Worst news. What could be worse? Listen, the whole reason this is here. Guy never made the flight.

[Gary]

Funny thing.

[Gina Grad]

Like Seth MacFarlane in the first flight out of Logan. All right, so we'll get into all that. Speaking of airplanes, I just got back from the other office. It's always interesting finding out how things work. I got a lot of feedback and people. It's a weird thing. You make a movie, nobody cares, but they put it on an airplane, and then everyone goes, hey, man, I was taking a flight back from Atlanta. And then you get this weird one where it's like, I'm flying out from Egypt, and there it was, you know, on the headrest of the seat in front of me. So the most eyeballs you end up getting is on an airplane, or at least the most feedback. If you make independent, small films, it'll run on something in the middle of the night, whatever. No one. It'll come and go. No one will ever know. But if you get it on an airplane, you get a lot of feedback. But then I had a lot of questions, like, how do you get paid? How's the airline pay? How do they do it? By the way, if you're watching on Facebook, ask us a question. Yes, Gary, is that true? Is that what we want? Yeah. We're gonna take a few questions here a little later in the show, so. Comment on the live stream. Doing a live stream. All right, so who did you ask? How did you approach with that? I went to the other office where we're working on the 24 hour war, finishing the next documentary, and I spoke to Nate Adams over there, who I made the movie with, and he said, well, I just got off the phone with the brokers that sell the movies to the airlines. It's one of these Things where if anything exists, there's some broker, there's somebody does this full time in this weird invisible world where there's a kajillion jobs that we've never heard of. And I said, but now how does it work? Because how do they get paid? And how does the airline make money and blah, blah, blah. Well, the airlines basically show the movies for free now, for the most part, at least that's what. That's my understanding of it. I don't know, maybe they're still charging and coach. That's what I said to Nate, but he said, nah, they're just giving them away now, which is erroneous. That's wrong.

[Gary]

Not the airlines that I've ever.

[Dawson]

I have to pay.

[Gina Grad]

Thanks, Nate. This is why I have difficulty learning things. I have a learning disability. It's because everyone else is a fucking tariff. That's my learning disability. Cuz I just sat across the desk and went, well, if Delta Airlines pays $10,000 for this movie, then how do they recoup their money? They must sell it, you know, $3.99 a pop or $7.99 a pop, they gotta get whole again. And he said, nah, they don't. They don't do that anymore. They just give it away. And I said, but in coach, don't they?

[Gary]

Maybe Delta does, but all the other airlines I've flown, I had to watch.

[Dawson]

Deadpool for eight bucks, which has a lot too.

[Gina Grad]

I flew Delta about 18 months ago in coach and I paid for a movie. Okay, could have changed 14 minutes ago. I sat across the table and had someone explain to me that this is not how it worked. And then I said, well, then what's the business model? And he said, which. Which made. So I got to know what the business model is. Why are airlines who are saving a quarter of a penny on fucking Fiesta mix that tastes like a Keebler Al died and is decomposing in your mouth along with a broken taco shell and the tears of the grieving members of the Escobar flight that hit the ground. That's what that shit tastes like. Why can't get a thing of Doritos instead? They'll tell you it's to save a quarter cent per unit. How are these guys just buying movies and just throwing them around and not getting a return? And Nate said, well, it's part of the. The product, which I get it like, hey, this airline shows first run movies. They do it for free. And okay, they built it in as part of their whatever, like a hotel Gives away mints or something, but turns out he's erroneous. But either way. So after a lot of questioning about that, they're brokers. It works the same. Here's how international works. International sales work this way. You get hold of a broker, and the broker then takes the movie to London, but they take it to Turkey too. And then Turkey may go, I give you 1,500 bucks for the rights to use it. And they'll go, fine, 1500 more than we had before we talked to Turkey. And then they'll go to Germany and they'll go, ooh, they like cars over there. They'll do it for 30 grand. And they just go around. A lot of people go, not interested. A lot of people go, interested. We were able to basically pre sell our next movie due to the overwhelming positive response of the last movie. The airlines keep track of the clicks. Obviously they want to know what movies are performing. And the movie performed very well. And it.

[Gary]

Well, of course it was free. We're charging for it.

[Gina Grad]

All I do is try to solve puzzles, and everyone just comes in and just kicks my sandcastle to the ground.

[Gary]

So it did well.

[Gina Grad]

So it did well. It did off the charts for a documentary. And so the broker is very interested in the next product. And obviously you've set the table then with the airlines because of the last movie, which is the Newman duck. So interested. I've always been curious, like, how that works. And this is how it works. They buy the movie. Obviously they pay a lot more for Star wars than they do for winning the racing life of Paul Newman, but they sell it to them, and then they sell it to all the different airlines. They try to go over to this airline and Delta and American, whatever, and they try to sell it. And it's like this new paradigm of, as I've always said, 1000 hoses just trickling into one trough. You sold X amount of units on itunes, had this amount of Amazon orders. They're all. Nothing to write home about any of them, but they all start to. Yeah, it starts to. Starts to add up. So that's how they do it.

[Gary]

Quite a hustle, you know what I mean? Like the independent movie scene or the documentary scene. Like that. You got a hustle, man. You go to every airline. Granted, the brokers do it, but you got to deal with the brokers do. Then go to every airline, go to every cable outlet or, you know, whatever group is representing, you know, these five, ten channels. It's a hustle.

[Gina Grad]

It is. It's essentially is mazer on the blower. I was going to dial him up right now. I wanted to know if you needed a minute here. Give me a minute. Give me a minute. It's this new thing. It sort of reminds me of back in the day. Everyone just had one job. You worked at the GM plant and you made a decent living and you worked there for 41 years. Or you had the corner office at GM and you were there for 41 years but just had a job. And now everyone has to have 11 jobs. And the little microcosm of that is doing an independent film. It's like you have to have 11. You gotta get the pay per view clicks and the DVDs and airlines and like things you would never even think of.

[Gary]

You can streaming rights, where to download it, rent it, all those things.

[Gina Grad]

Even then when you then film Robert Redford and somebody else wants to make a documentary about Robert Redford or whomever, then they can license that film from you. And it's all. None of it's get rich stuff. It's all just little bits and pieces. And you don't need to be rich for Blinds Galore. Mmm. Summer scorcher sale on now. Up to 50% off of everything. And these guys, man, they touch my life in so many ways. Dialed in just a little bit of sunlight into the bathroom this morning. I then went to the office, dialed in a little light and went into the edit bay. After I was being misinformed by Nate, I went into the edit bay and it was pitch black and cool in there because the editor was working in there. But it just bounces that heat right out of the building. It never gets in. And you just got to think about that greenhouse effect. I mean, think how hot your car is when it's parked and there's no shade. Now imagine putting foil up in all the windows. Well, that's what you get at blind spot. Beat the heat, baby. You gotta ask yourself, how you gonna beat the heat? Blinds galore. Blindsgalore.com. they got a big sale going on. Please enjoy Blinds Galore. They've been a sponsor for a million years. We use all their stuff all the time. Robert is on line too. Robert.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah. Hi.

[Gina Grad]

How are you doing, Mazer? Am I pronouncing it correctly?

[Ryan Reynolds]

You sure are.

[Gina Grad]

Enjoyed the film. I was only able to watch about half of it because they gave me a link and then it crashed this morning. But what a thrill. I mean, having Cranston play you on the big screen.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah, and he was a pleasure to work with. I mean, the Guy. Well, he's been on your show, so I'm sure you know him, but he's so talented much, much beyond just being an actor. He had a massive impact on the screenplay and on the chemistry between the actors and just in every possible aspect of the film. And he was a delight to work with.

[Gina Grad]

He is one of these guys who is like the baddest ass man on the planet and therefore never challenges anyone to a fight, never gets into a scuffle and doesn't have to walk around in a tank top all puffed up because he's such the real deal. He's so insanely talented and so comfortable with that that it enables him to be gracious to everyone all the time.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah, I couldn't agree more. And, you know, I think if I had had the pleasure of meeting him 20 years ago, he'd probably be the same Bryan Cranston.

[Gina Grad]

No, he was Douchey in the 90s. Yeah, I knew him.

[Dawson]

Malcolm.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, major douche. No, he's a great guy and we love him over here and we have a lot of fun with him. The Infiltrator's the. The movie. It's in theaters as we speak and based on your life. So give us a thumbnail sketch of your life and this portion of your life.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Sure. Well, I was an agent for 27 years. And the greatest majority of that time I spent working with other agents who were focused on trying to identify the biggest money launderers in the world and those that were servicing the Colombian cartels. And for the first 14 years or so, I did it the traditional way, you know, search warrants and wiretaps and knocking down doors and that type of thing. But we ultimately came to the conclusion that the best technique to use was going to be the long term undercover technique. So I volunteered to be a long term undercover agent. I went through training for that. I was blessed with leadership that let me spend 18 months putting together, I think, one of the more sophisticated fronts that's been used in long term undercover. I was embedded in real businesses with the help of some very, very high level informants, two of whom were with one of the five Italian American organized crime families. And I was embedded in an investment company, a mortgage brokerage business, an air charter service with a private jet jewelry chain with 30 locations on the east coast, and even a brokerage firm with a seat on the New York Stock Exchange. So I didn't really have to be the best undercover agent in the world. I had great assets that I was able to use to do the infiltration and a great team around me that really helped tremendously in keeping the operation together for as long as it was able to be kept together.

[Gina Grad]

Well, I saw cocaine cowboys a number of times, so I got coached up a little bit on the whole Escobar thing and some of how it worked. And also the woman.

[Gary]

Blanca, right?

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, Griselda or something.

[Dawson]

Griselda, yeah.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah.

[Gary]

She was great. I mean, as a character, you know, the caricature, almost a matriarch.

[Dawson]

Villainous.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah. And I also know some Don Henley songs that basically Glenn Fry, Glenn Frey. He lays it all out. I wouldn't say that we have the same experience, but I'm up there. Yes. He lays it all out about moving it through Miami and LA and the whole thing. I don't even know. He may mention Robert's name in it, but did you know the Black Widow or come across Griselda or whatever her name was?

[Ryan Reynolds]

No, no. My clients were the two principal managers for Pablo Escobar, Geraldo Moncada and Fernando Galeano. And Moncada in Galeano, during the time frame that people were hunting Pablo Escobar, he had the foresight to put other people in charge of the day to day operations. So Moncada had about 60% of his operations. And I had just one cell within Moncada's operation that I dealt with. And that cell had eight cities in the US that generated about $20 million a month in revenue. That doesn't include the Canadian operations, the European operations, and other things they had going on.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

So Moncada really functioned in an important role for Escobar until Escobar realized that he was stealing from him. And then he did. The internal cleansing within the cartel that led to Moncada's death. They and Pablo Escobar had him hung upside down, and they stripped his clothes off and used blowtorches to melt the skin off their bodies.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, I thought you were talking about one of those juice cleanses. I'm from la. I thought it was like cayenne pepper. Yeah, and stream water. But this is different.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Very different.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, but both you'll shed the pounds for sure.

[Dawson]

Release the toxins.

[Gina Grad]

Release the toxins. Jesus. I mean, who is more. I was about to say, is there anyone more brutal than the Colombians in this department?

[Ryan Reynolds]

Well, you know, in recent years, Lozetas in Mexico have certainly at least paralleled and maybe even gone past the torture. All you have to do is look at some of the things that they're responsible for. There was one occasion, a Couple of years ago, outside of a small town in Mexico, San Juan, Mexico, where 49 headless handless and footless bodies, the torsos were thrown out of trucks. And it was basically a billboard for the people in the town to recognize that they were owned 100% by Lozetas. So, I mean, and those were innocent people in many instances, just shopkeepers and people who had nothing to do with Los Vetas or their competition with other cartels. But there have been best reported huge numbers of Mexicans who have been killed since 2006, when the Mexican authorities declared their war on drugs.

[Gina Grad]

Well, what are we going to do? I mean, as far as I can tell, as long as there's this kind of money to be made over this, you know, I mean, especially in its heyday. But even now, you know, cocaine or whatever, the drug we're talking about, not pot per se, but cocaine, takes up the size of a shoebox. And that shoebox is worth $50,000 or $75,000 or $37,000. But as long as we got that and we have super poor people from all these countries, how's it ever gonna work that somebody's not gonna try to get that shoebox into this country and sell it to somebody? Is that ever. I mean, I feel like it's impossible to ever shut off that spigot. So what is plan B, or do you not believe in that, Robert?

[Ryan Reynolds]

Well, worse than that, it's not shoeboxes. It's 40 foot containers of cocaine.

[Gina Grad]

Right? I'm trying to illustrate.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I'm talking about tons.

[Gina Grad]

I'm trying to illustrate this little thing is worth so much to somebody who $50,000 is more money than they'll see in a lifetime. How could we ever prevent this from at least them trying to do it?

[Ryan Reynolds]

Well, these organizations are more than just drug organizations now because they're working with terrorist organizations. They're working with many, many different other types of crime beyond drug trafficking. We're not going to win this thing, and we're not going to accomplish anything. If we are completely focused on the supply side. We obviously have to focus ourselves on the demand side in a very, very aggressive way. And I really think that education, treatment, and economic opportunity in certain segments of the United States is going to be able to substantially bring down the amount of demand that's out there. But you're going to have this type of thing going on, whether you legalize it or you don't legalize it, because the black market is going to evolve. And if you look at Washington and Colorado, where it's now legal of course to sell marijuana. There's only certain number of people who are licensed to be able to do that. And so the cost of high end marijuana is skyrocketed and it's a fantastic opportunity for the cartels to exploit black market and come in and make a very good profit off of selling their goods. So you know, are we going to get world peace or you know, a cure for cancer or are we going to be able to stop this problem? These are all things, things that unfortunately are very, very complicated. But what we're doing right now is not, is not the successful formula.

[Gina Grad]

Right. So you're here to say, as somebody does this for a living and seen so much, it's really way too simple to just go, we just legalize it and the whole problem will go away.

[Ryan Reynolds]

No, that's not going to happen. We have countries, absolute nations, that make decisions on prosecutions based upon whether or not it's economically favorable for our country or some other country. Just look at the Department of Justice's recommendation a couple of years ago for the prosecution of HSBC Hong Kong Shanghai Bank Corporation had 400 branches plus in the United States moved nearly a billion dollars by their own admission in drug proceeds and they got a slap on the wrist. They paid a $1.92 billion fine which when you look at the 2012 profits of that entity, it's about a 10% pre tax. That's 10% of their pre tax profits doing business.

[Gina Grad]

Right.

[Ryan Reynolds]

You know, unless you. There are a lot of things that need to be done and one of them is that the people who are laundering this money and we're talking about $400 billion a year being generated from the sale of illegal drugs around the United or around the world. That's a hell of a lot of money. And when you add that, add to that the money from other criminal activities. The United nations on drugs and crime claims to have measured that a couple of years ago and they say it comes to almost 2 trillion. When you add tax evasion and white collar fraud and illegal arms dealing and pilfering treasuries and dealing with prohibited nations. There's a huge amount of money out there that a certain segment of the international banking and business community market and nobody, nobody is putting those people behind bars. They're basically giving them fines.

[Gina Grad]

Gina has a question for you.

[Ryan Reynolds]

That needs to be done. That's not being done.

[Dawson]

Robert, you're obviously so knowledgeable about all of this. Do you and I know the movie. I'm sure. Addresses so much of this. Do you feel like you're being listened to? Do you feel like what you have to say is being taken seriously and could affect actual change? Or is it frustrating that maybe that's not happening?

[Ryan Reynolds]

Well, it's frustrating, but I'm not going to stop. I'm going to keep trying to help people to understand what really is going on. They better start understanding because in the last four or five years, we have clear, clear proof of Hezbollah, Hamas, al Qaeda, many other terrorist organizations working very, very closely with the Mexican Colombian cartels, the Chinese triads. They're more organized than the United Nations.

[Gina Grad]

So I want to know. So I'm going to put some words in your mouth for a second. You tell me whether you want to spit them out or not. And then I want to get to the terrorist side of this because I'm interested in this. What I hear you saying is as long as there's this much money to be made, whether you're selling it or muling it or you're laundering it, good luck trying to get it shut off because everyone loves money. You're always going to find some bank or some entity that's going to get involved with this and you're always going to find from the lowest guy down on the chain to the richest guy in Geneva. As long as there's a ton of money, someone will be in. But if we can cut the demand for it, that's really our best angle at this thing.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah. At the same time that we need to be disrupting command and control of these organizations because it's just like leaders of countries. If you have stability and leadership, they, except for ours, they can continue to improve in their selection of leadership and their effectiveness. These criminal organizations definitely need to continue to be disrupted in their leadership aspects. So I'm not suggesting that we should ignore the supply side, but what I am saying is we need to massively, especially in this country, recognize the power of being able to reduce the demand and the power of being able to give people options that some of them, I think, at this stage don't really feel they have. And I'm not suggesting that there's. It's just the underprivileged areas of our country that have this problem. We've got this problem in every economic sector, unfortunately, of our.

[Gina Grad]

No, but I get it. I've been preaching family and education for a million years because my kids aren't going to sell drugs because they come from a stable family. Family. And they're not going to need at 13 to go out and get some because they're going to work for Jimmy Kimmel as a page and get paid over at Uncle Jimmy's so they won't have to. But if you're creating a bunch of people where your only real viable alternative for survival is to get out and pedal some crack or do what have you, then there's going to always be a supply chain.

[Ryan Reynolds]

That's absolutely right. And if you take a look at cities like Chicago where we are on our way to having more murders in Chicago this year than in any, you know, recent prior year, you know, the 500 range of murders in one city, mostly drug related type of murders. Something's got to give. We really need to start paying attention to our problems at home.

[Gina Grad]

Now. Listen, I read HuffPo every morning. Those are cops just killing black people. Those are the numbers you're talking about.

[Gary]

Stem that tide.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah. So Robert, what do we do as far as the cartels go and their connection with the terrorists? And then how does that connection work? And you know, I've been hearing for a while now like, hey, we gotta beef up the border because their terrorists are gonna be coming over. And everyone's like, oh please, those are poor migrant folks looking to pick vegetables. But are they coming that direction? How's the relationship working? We've been hearing bits and pieces of it. We just had a Republican National Convention and Democratic National Convention. I don't believe these topics came up.

[Wheeler Walker Jr.]

Really.

[Gina Grad]

It was a lot of, you know, everyone should get free medical care and you know, I'm gonna beef up the border. But there really wasn't anything that addressed this. So first coach us up on what you're talking about. The relationship between the cartels and the terrorists.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Sure. Well, there's a poster child example in a case. The guy's name is Juma J O U M A AYMAN A Y M A N Juma J O U M A A A Lebanese, Colombian. A typical scenario. There are more Lebanese in South America than there are in Lebanon. And these are people from a nation that has for centuries been the most effective businessmen in the world. And they're very, very heavily entrenched in the free trade zones around the world. Life is a bell curve. And there's going to be some of those individuals who are going to get involved in laundering because free trade zones are a playground for people who want to launder dirty money. And unfortunately now, because Hezbollah is so heavily entrenched in Lebanon, Iran, Syria, and because of the economic relationships and ideological relationships between Venezuela and those nations as well as nations in West Africa. It's the springboard from Venezuela for the cartels to then be feeding and working with the terrorist organizations that are located in the Middle east and then profit from the sale of drugs up into the European routes. But they're also involved in the North American routes as well. So the Jumukays. There's another. There's been a subcommittee report that came out a few years ago called A Line in the sand. Congressman McCall from Texas was the chairman of that. That's another thing your listeners can Google and take a look at. It talks about A Line in the sand being our border with Mexico. That is really not a border, it's a frontier, that border. Yes, it does need to be reinforced, there's no doubt about it. But the people at the highest level that are involved in these organizations own global companies, operate with 747 aircraft. Their resources are unimaginable in comparison to the resources that we have to fight them. That's not to say that you know, we should be giving up. There are certain efforts within the U.S. and foreign law enforcement collaborative efforts, especially one that I'm very well aware of by the Special Operations division of the Drug Enforcement Administration. And that Operation SOD it's called, works globally with drug law enforcement, intelligence community, military resources, works against some of the biggest cases that are out there that have been, that have been worked. We need to be focused on those people. We need to be less focused on putting people who are sick in the federal prisons for extended periods of time.

[Gina Grad]

I agree with that. And so back to the border. Do we suspect terrorists are coming across that border?

[Ryan Reynolds]

There's absolutely no doubt when you read A Line in the sand and you'll see specific cases that make mention of human trafficking, arms trafficking, drug trafficking that's going across that border. And some of it, yes, most definitely related to groups that are involved in terrorist activity. That's my biggest concern. My biggest concern is that you know, these 40 foot containers and other types of shipping containers. Yeah, these shipping containers, you know, they have drugs and money in it and maybe weapons in it. But at some stage, because of the ever growing relationship between the terrorist organizations and the cartels, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what they may be using, using these smuggling routes for that would be far more dangerous to us.

[Gina Grad]

Who do you think the drug cartels and, or the terrorists would like to see in the White House? Oh, I don't know.

[Ryan Reynolds]

That's just a wag. That would be a wild Guess on my part. So, you know, as far as people who have a long history of being tough on anti terrorism, you know, you can probably get five people argue in 15 different directions on the candidates that are there. So I really don't know of what we've got available for us to vote on. I couldn't venture a guess.

[Dawson]

Well, they had a pretty good laugh about Fast and Furious, didn't they? And that was under Obama when they sent all those guns into Mexico and we lost them.

[Ryan Reynolds]

That was an atrocious plan to start with. How it is that anybody could think that they were going to be able to follow illegally sold weapons. I've looked very, very closely at that case and I know that the licensed gun dealers who had been approached by law enforcement to make these illegal sales were very vocal about the fact that they were banging on law enforcement's door trying to get them to follow up on some of the sales that were occurring. And there was no technology that was incorporated within this to be able to, for a very likely, in a great likelihood to be able to follow those weapons. If you're going to try to do it with surveillance. You know, we've all tried to follow family and friends from point A to point B in three different cars. And you know, everybody knows that you're trying to follow somebody.

[Gina Grad]

I want to get out and punch my dad every time I say to him, we're going to the diner. And he's like, I don't know where it is. Well, just get in your car and stay behind me. And then I look in my rear view and he's. He's 100 miles behind me.

[Gary]

I'm behind you.

[Gina Grad]

And he misses the signal. And then I have to pull over into the 7 11. And then someone starts honking because I'm blocking the driveway. And I'm like, what part of it drives me nuts? And we all have these problems.

[Gary]

Hey, Robert, these are real problems.

[Gina Grad]

You know what I was thinking? I don't know why I was picturing our choices for president and I was thinking a lot because everyone's kind of like, well, what do we got? Like, who do you want in the White House? White House. Oh boy. What do we got? What's on the table? You know what I'm. When I was a carpenter, pick your poison. When I was a carpenter, I was doing. After the 94 earthquake, all these cinder block, some concrete block walls fell over in the San Fernando Valley. They just, the ground shook and they sort of just tipped over and everyone just replaced them with one by six, six foot dog eared redwood fencing. Because everyone was like, look, man, why are we putting this block back up? Let's just put a.

[Gary]

It's gonna happen again at some point.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, let's put this wood up. It won't fall over. It'll be faster and easier and less expensive and so on and so forth. And everyone got the idea about the same time. And I would show up to the Home Depot some days to literally, I needed a hundred of these things. And I would get to the pile and I could tell had been picked through. All there was is the propellered ones and the warped ones and the water damaged ones and the cracked ones, the ones that had had three dog ears on them and you'd sight down them and they would be bent like that. Peyronie's disease. And you had to make a decision like, I gotta build this fence. This is this. These are my choices. I'm just gonna grab the best one in the pick through shit pile. That's.

[Gary]

Oh, that's what we're dealing with.

[Dawson]

It came back around.

[Gina Grad]

That's right. All right, I'm building. I'm building a wall too.

[Gary]

Sure are.

[Dawson]

Deal him in.

[Gina Grad]

So, Robert, at least I think we agree we should beef up that border, right?

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah. There's no doubt, and I'm not so sure that the terrain there is going to allow a solid wall for the entire period. And there's different technologies that can be used and there's drones that can be used, there's different types of sensing devices that can be used. And what really troubles me the most is the. That not that long back we would have people who were the head of Department of Homeland Security, like Napolitano, who would get up there and talk about how secure the border was when everybody knew all they had to do was talk to the sheriffs that have the counties that are aligning the border. That that was just ridiculous that it wasn't secure. So, yeah, no, we need to secure the border to a greater degree than it's currently there. There's no doubt about that.

[Gina Grad]

The infiltrator's the name of the movie. It's also the name of the book and that's available now on Amazon. And you can bookmark us and click through our site and do that. Robert, if you're ever out in la, come see us, man. It's very fascinating stuff.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I'd be happy to.

[Gina Grad]

Robert Mazer, everybody. Thanks, Robert. I can never. There's certain political items that I get. Like I get. Hey, woman's Right to choose. Hey, you're taking a life. Come on now. Hey, if you kill someone who's four months pregnant, that's double homicide. That's a life. There's a heartbeat. No, no, but you want women to have the right, have an abortion. I get these kinds of yins and yangs, political whatever. I get the guy. I mean, hey, give the junkies free needles so they won't spread hiv. Well, wait a minute. We're not gonna condone that addiction. Yeah. And I am a clean needle guy, but I do get. Okay, we're using taxpayer money to buy syringes for junkies so you can step on one in the park. Like, okay, look, I get it, but the border, I just don't get. I know it's turned into a right wing thing, but it's like, it's our border. It's bordering a narco state and we just want control of it and we want to know who's coming and who's going. I don't even know why. Politicized for me. It's like just where countries support the. Enforce the law, we'll have a border. And then we're not saying nobody gets in and nobody gets out. We're just saying, here's our border. We control it. Like Costco controls the front of their store. You know, it's like, hey, shouldn't people have the right to come into Costco? Yes, they should.

[Gary]

So we're taking a highlighter of the receipts. All the Mexicans trying to get in.

[Gina Grad]

But not Sunday night at 4:00am like, we just want to know who's coming and who's going. And we'd like to control it the same way you control sort of the front door of your house or any business. Or any business or anything. Why is that so political? I don't get that part. We can argue over who's coming and who's going, but the controlling part is the part that's insane to me.

[Gary]

Yeah, that's pretty common sense. Or at least reasonable.

[Gina Grad]

Absolutely. I don't know why. I mean, I know why, but I mean, it's a weird argument to make. Like we don't need to control it or it is controlled. It's like. Well, it's not. Well, I don't even know what the argument is. Let's just get it locked down. I don't know what the modality is. Drones or fences or whatever it is. Extra allocate more manpower and whatever it is, and then we'll get it secured. And then. And we'll Talk about what we're gonna do.

[Dawson]

Do you think if Donald Trump never used the phrase most of them are rapists, most of them are murderers, this wall would actually be easier to have a discussion about? Or is that just a semantics argument? It wouldn't have mattered.

[Gina Grad]

I don't.

[Gary]

I think he hampers his own point, which is really.

[Gina Grad]

But. But it's 2016, and there's nothing there now. So I think history has proven we've had an inability. It's been discussed, you know, for the last 25 years. It's never, never been built. And I don't know, did he. I have to be careful, and I'm not sure now with his rapists and his whatever. Do you say most of them are rapists and most of them are murderers.

[Dawson]

How did that come out?

[Gary]

I don't know the exact quote, but.

[Dawson]

He'S not backed away from, let's say, many of maybe was the quote. But if he didn't. If he didn't make those accusations specifically, if people would have been more open to the idea, or they just gotta shut him out because of things that comes out of his mouth.

[Gina Grad]

I don't. I mean, whoever. Yes, sorry. When Mexico sends its people, they're not sending their best. They're not sending you. They're not sending you. They're sending people that have lots of problems, and they're bringing those problems with us. They're bringing drugs, they're bringing crime, they're bringing rapists, and some, I assume, are good people. All right, so that's not most of them. But he's saying you're getting their outcasts. Well, it's true. We're getting poor people who are coming here to look for work, but we're not getting the most educated. Look, I talked to. I don't know who was from. I think I was actually in error there. That is one of the quotes. But I think the one you guys are looking for is. But you have people coming in, and I'm not just saying Mexicans. I'm talking about people that are from all over that are killers and rapists, and they're coming into this country. Okay.

[Dawson]

It's a combat.

[Gary]

It's more than one incident.

[Gina Grad]

I talked to. I think it was one of our film. Our DP guys. We had a couple guys from. I think it was from Sweden, I think I was talking to one of these guys. I said, how's immigration work over there? And he said, well, we got a deal. You can either have money or you can have a skill set. Or you can have both. But if you're missing the money or you're missing the skill set or you got neither one of those things, we don't let you in because we want people here who can work a lathe or have a suitcase full of money and not going on the dole. And it's like he was like. Like, we're kind of douchey about it, but that's why we're us.

[Gary]

I'm sorry, where is this? I missed what you said.

[Gina Grad]

I think I was talking to one of the guys I was working on the films with over there, but. And I could have picked another.

[Robert Mazur]

I think you're Sweden. I'm trying to remember the guy's name. His wife lives there. Yeah, he had a British accent, but his parents were from Sweden.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, we were traveling. I've met so many people. Whatever. But I was like, I know that sounds like the worst thing you could ever bring up in a cocktail party. But on the other hand, I was like, well. Well, I get it. Like, that's what you're looking for. You're not looking for uneducated, unwashed, and, come on in, Contributors. Yeah, well, they're gonna. Everyone's looking for a job, is gonna contribute. But then the argument is, who else would they be competing with for that job? My thing is, you can approach it a thousand different ways. Whatever Trump says, whatever anyone says, let's just secure this, and then we'll. Well, I think we can all agree that it should be secured, and then we'll move forward with whatever policies. Some go left, some go right, whatever those policies are. But let's at least know what we're. Who's coming and who's going.

[Gary]

Right. As Robert Mazur alluded to, or he said explicitly, when people come across the border to do illegal things and harm, you gotta secure it.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah. We get into this stupid argument where it's like, hey, not everyone's coming here to blow things up. I know that's not. It's not 1%, but it's somebody. I would say if it's one, that's one good argument for knowing who's coming and who's going. That's all. I wonder how much ISIS and Al Qaeda and all those things laugh at us just going like, we're still arguing over this border thing and beating ourselves up every time it comes up. All right, we have the. Let's see, what do we got? We got some Facebook questions. We got Wheeler Walker here. Should we hear a little Wheeler Walker? Little music? Just so you guys are coached up.

[Brian Bishop]

You ain't much to look at and you can lose a few. You got saggy titties but tonight it'll do Cuz I learned a lesson a long time ago. Beggars can't be choosing when the bar starts to close Sit on my face cause I ain't too picky and riding my mouth til your pussy is sticky and I'll pow wow.

[Gina Grad]

Played my wedding. The whole band wasn't there. I could afford that, but yeah. All right, so Wheeler Walker Jr. Is gonna come in here. I think he's playing. Is he playing dozen? All right, Facebook questions. First. This Castrol. Ah, today's smaller engines under so much pressure out there, man. These little high winding little engines, air conditioning running, turbocharger blowing, just wringing those things out. You need Castrol Edge. Such a thin layer film really just, I mean, thinner than a sheet of paper. So all that really is between your bearings and all the moving parts and connecting rods and crank and all that good stuff and disaster, baby, you need Castrol Edge. With liquid titanium technology three times stronger against viscosity breakdown than the leading full synthetic is Castrol Edge, man. Make your next oil change a Castrol Edge oil change. Alright, we got a question. We got a challenge up there.

[Dawson]

We do from Mr. Perleywhite on Twitter. He says, why and how is my car still alive when I didn't do an oil change change in five years? Asking for a friend.

[Gina Grad]

Cars do these things every once in a while where they'll go, you have to. They're sort of like people like Jim Fix guy wrote a book on nutrition and running. Dropped dead at 47 or whoever. There are cars, it's like where you go, hey, you got to change that timing belt at 60,000 miles. And there are cars whose timing belt breaks at 41,000 miles or 52,000 miles. And then there are cars where you go 102,000 miles and you're on the same belt. It's kind of hard to explain. Well, again, there's the guys who wake up, have a shot of vermouth and smoke a Tiparillo through a glazed donut. And he's 97 years young. There's those guys and then there's the guys that are health nuts that have BIC coronary keel over at 50. By and large, the folks that change their oil live a little longer than the ones that, that smoke the Tiparillos through the glazed donuts. But you don't have, you know, again, if you go synthetic, if you go full synthetic, that oil is gonna last for a lot longer than the conventional oil does. And I think it's time to make the Castrol change. But by the way, your car may blow up as I'm speaking, so you're not out of the woods yet. All right, Gina.

[Dawson]

Yeah, well, keep sending us your questions using Castrolchallenge, and we will keep answering them.

[Gina Grad]

All right, so what do we got? Facebook question.

[Robert Mazur]

Yeah, Craig wants to know. He tuned into the Facebook stream a little early and said, adam, can you please tell us about the cabinetry ordeal that you mentioned just before the show started?

[Gina Grad]

Oh, now, was that me yapping and it going into the microphone or something? Yeah. Remember I told you that we were starting the stream a few minutes before the podcast, so anything said in that room could be heard. Wait a second.

[Dawson]

This guy was listening before the show, and he doesn't want to comment on Brian and I singing Peter Cetera.

[Gary]

Yeah, we're going for Gloria Love.

[Gina Grad]

I was. I am building a. I jacked out this whole bad workstation, as I explained yesterday, drawers. And Natalia had her little homework station and stuff. Just bad. Something bad from the 60s wooden doors with the weird sticky things and the hinges that had been painted over. And I was gonna do the full kind of back in the Euro closet days. And funny, I talked to someone the other day. He said, I'm thinking about redoing my closet at my house. And I said, yeah. And he said, you're a carpenter, right? We're watching Sonny play basketball. And I said, yeah. And he said, do you know anything about closets? And I said, I used to work for abc, always better closets. I installed thousands of closets, and I've made custom closets for years, so I know plenty about it.

[Gary]

NFC overboard.

[Gina Grad]

And I've seen overboard feel pretty good. And I said, so what do you want to know? And he said, well, how does it work? And I said, you have a cleat going around. Then you have. It's mostly called shelf and pole. You have the dowel that's going across. That's the pole. The shelf is a piece of pine that sits on top of the cleat. That's how they're traditionally made. You might want to span it, break it up, put something vertical in the middle so you can. This is amazing. I went, you have a lot of long hanging, or do you have short hanging? Like if you have a bunch of Hawaiian shirts and you do two poles. If you have a lot of evening gowns. At a certain point in went yeah, I'm good.

[Gary]

I'll go to a camped out.

[Gina Grad]

Literally tuned out. Just sort of pointed at the kids playing basketball. Let's watch the game. And I'm like, well, you made a big mistake, buddy. You asked a guy who is an endless talker about, first off, I'll go on for three days about shit I don't know about something. I'll talk about politics in the border for two days. I don't know shit about that. Me going to custom closets. Unless you want to finish.

[Gary]

You want to know about tires? I'll tell you about tires.

[Gina Grad]

Literally started getting bored with my closet suggestions and then just tuned out. And then at some point he just threw his cards on the table. He went like, all right, I'll get a guy to do it. Anything not to talk about long hanging, short hanging and sock pull out drawers anymore. So I, I had this wildly, wildly unsatisfying, wildly unsatisfying exchange with Rob. And I've had this a lot. And I don't know if you guys are doing this, but anyway, I've experienced a lot of this, but I try my best because of all the tools and all the screws and all the work related, building related stuff that I've accumulated. I've tried my hardest to organize everything all the time because I literally have 10 of everything. But they get spread out and dumped everywhere.

[Gary]

I'm sure I have a small, small, small fraction of what you have. And it's madden just to try and keep the little bit I have, you know, like, where are those screws that I bought 20 of? You know, where's the last few of those?

[Gina Grad]

And what you, what ends up, you go nuts. That's why I want the zip ties. Where are the zip ties? And you find them in with the wood screws. Like why aren't they with the zip ties?

[Dawson]

They should be with the duct tape and the chloroform, right?

[Gina Grad]

That's right. So I said to Rob, I was at home, I said, look, here's how we're going to do this. You guys are going to buy these sheets. You're going to buy these laminated sheets from the Home Depot. They're going to be 49 inches wide. You're going to set up the table saw for 16 and a quarter. You will do two rips and end up with a third piece that you won't have to cut. That will be 16 and a quarter too, because at 49, deduct the width of the blade, eighth of an inch with a carbide bit times two rips and you'll be left with three perfect pieces that are 16 and a quarter wide. He understood all that. I got him do that. Then I explained to him, in the screw drawer there's screws called confirmat screws. These are screws that I used to use way back in the day when I used to build custom closet. They would build them as boxes. You take this pre treated vinyl, three quarter MDF stuff, particle board. You try to put it together with drywall screws and drywall screws snap, it'll tear it up. But the drywall screws, it's brittle, it's not strong. Drywall screws will snap very, very easily. They're good for holding up drywall. But don't hang like shelves. And don't hang a TV with drywall screws. They're brittle, they'll pop, they'll snap. So confirmat screws, you can go to AdamKorolla.com, it's hot. It's hardware porn. They're a thicker, They're a thicker sort of stouter screw. And of course, Rob has no idea what a confirmat screw is.

[Gary]

How dare he?

[Gina Grad]

Yes, I can. By the way, if you want to take this whole conversation back 20 years when I was buying this thing, the place had confirmat screws, but they didn't sell the conformat bit. That was a special order. And I'm always like, why not have two on hand? They're like, we order those. I'm like, you're selling the screw, the bit's $21. How about anyway, special bit, special confirmat screw. I then told Rob while I talked him over the phone, I said, stand over that drawer that says screws on it. Open it up, you will find a screw. It's called a confirmat screw. You've never heard of it. Here's how you will recognize it. We've never used one before. And all the decks and all the projects and all the drywall and all the building and all the studios and all the remods we've done, we've never used this screw. So that'll be your first clue. You'll see it and go, I've never seen this exotic looking screw. I've never seen this screw. I said, it is stout, it's not thin, It's a thicker screw. It has a Phillips head on it and the end of it is not really coming to a point like an auger, like a wood screw or sheet metal screw. But it's not like a machine Screw that, you would screw a nut onto the end of. It's got a weird sort of blunt end to it that doesn't look like it would go in. And he stood over that drawer, and I talked to him on the phone for 20 minutes, and he said, I think I got them. And then he showed up my house today with these duplex screws. They're like Frankenstein screws where they stop and then the end hangs out a quarter inch. They have a washer that's cast into them, and the other part hangs out like you'd want to snap something onto it, which will not do at all for what I'm explaining. And I said, I know I've got those screws. And he said, I. And then I did what I always do because I don't want to feel insane. I finished a podcast. I ran right over the other place. I opened the drawer, and I pulled out two sizes, small and large, of a compromat screw that was sitting right on top of these drawers. And I just took a picture, and I said to Robin, what? Why? And he just said, sorry, boss, missed it. And I was like, why not just pull out the whole drawer and just bring it? Like, I know it's. The drawer is 2ft wide and 16 inches deep, and these things were sitting on top. And he's like, no, I don't want.

[Gary]

To make Rob's life more difficult, but I don't know what a comfremat screw. I've never heard of one. So a simple Google image search. These are the first results that come up.

[Dawson]

Looks just like that one.

[Gary]

All you have to do is type in confirmat screw, and you're like, oh, let me find this screw.

[Gina Grad]

He did that with the bits, which he did bring, but he did not bring the screws, which were sitting on top of the drawer. And as exactly as I described them.

[Gary]

That'S kind of a failing on.

[Gina Grad]

Thank you. Anyway, the good news is he's at my house assembling this thing, and I'm here with the confirmat screws. And God forbid, when Lynette catches wind of this, she'll go apeshit if she finds out because you have some empathetic.

[Gary]

Bone in your body, she'll come through.

[Gina Grad]

That door like a Herta turtle pissed off. You put those boxes together with drywall screws, coarse thread, bugle head drywall screws, and I'll be, no, no. Oh. And then she'll go, oh, what? What'd you do? The zinc ones? Use your zinc drywall screws. I'll go, no, no, no, we're using Deckers. And then she'll backhand me.

[Gary]

Oh, deckers. How can I see those?

[Gina Grad]

Here you go.

[Gary]

Mrs.

[Gina Grad]

Gross got out of my face. And she'll go, you know, deckers are pretty good for pull out, but not for sheer strength.

[Dawson]

She'll say it real condescending, though.

[Gary]

At least she'll explain herself. I've seen her just with a look.

[Gina Grad]

Then she'll reach into her purse and grab a handful of confirmat screws and just throw them at me and go storming back. And now pick them up.

[Robert Mazur]

I think Craig is satisfied.

[Gina Grad]

You think Craig?

[Dawson]

Yeah.

[Gina Grad]

You think we. I could do another 20 minutes. I know you can. Okay. All right.

[Robert Mazur]

Steve wants to know your thoughts on flip flops.

[Gina Grad]

Well, when I told Rob that I went on for pet screws and he flipped and brought me the Frankenstein ones, that was the biggest flop I've ever. Yeah. By the way, duplex nails, two heads on them.

[Gary]

Okay.

[Gina Grad]

They use it. What do they use duplex nails for? You'll see it when they're forming. Because when they're forming for concrete, that's a form of carpentry. We have to go back and pull all the nails.

[Gary]

Interesting.

[Dawson]

That's a thing.

[Gina Grad]

So you nail it. It has one head and the other head's a quarter inch back and it sucks it in. But then when you got to pop it, you don't have to dig them out. Duplex nails. What? Flip flops? Yeah, I'm wearing them now.

[Robert Mazur]

Everybody in that room is wearing them.

[Gina Grad]

I like flip flops.

[Gary]

It's a 95 degree day here in the valley and it's cool.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah. This is cooler than ever. It's been brutal. Two things I feel like flip flops when I was a kid were called Zori's or Jap flaps. That's right.

[Dawson]

Never heard of either.

[Gina Grad]

And they were worn when you went to the beach and the beach. Only it wasn't really flip flop. Wasn't. Certainly wasn't. I'm getting on an airplane attire now. It just is. I have found on the flip flop, I've had a little damage done to the top of my foot because I find that piece of rubber that goes over the top oftentimes rubs, blistery a little bit. And I. I don't know, I may have that going on now. I have that going on too. Poor Gina's got to reach for my flip flops. But I got a little.

[Gary]

The show has reached a new low.

[Gina Grad]

Couple of marks. I got some marks. Yeah. Well, I'LL get back in this hot confirmat talk in a second. But it screws up. And also, as a guy who prides himself on moving like a ninja, I hate it when the chick is wearing the boots and it's coming up the stairs and it's like ka chunk, ka chunk. Like I used to live in a house that had just an oak staircase coming a mile. Agony bunk, bunk, a bunk. I like to just sort of glide from room to room. The flip flop does make a flappity sound that I can't get out. No matter how I stride, it still smacks back yes.

[Gary]

Do you think the I feel like now I feel like more guys started wearing flip flops around the time that TSA started tightening the screws on shoes off.

[Gina Grad]

It's unintended consequences.

[Gary]

It is easier to get their security.

[Gina Grad]

And the other residual problem here with the flip flop is everyone then kicks them off at the other shop. I didn't say anything, but it bothers me. I have a sofa, the one that those guys didn't put the doilies under when they moved it two weeks ago. It is a kind of velour cloth sofa. And the reason I say that is because, I don't know, I feel like the vinyl or the leather you can hit with a little Windex and kind of wipe it down. But Dye walked in there and there was a chick in there who did this move. Kicks off the flip flops and then takes both bare feet and folds them up and puts them on the cloth sofa. And it's like, I get it, you're comfortable or you want to be comfortable, but you're in an air conditioned building sitting on a velour sofa.

[Dawson]

It's not enough that bad.

[Gina Grad]

It's not like you fell asleep on a cactus. And secondly, those are your bare feet on the cloth sofa that is not yours. That other people eat. The guys actually eat lunch by sitting there and doing it. Why the bare feet on the thing? And I get this is like, hey, I like to sit this way. I enjoy bubble bath. But not here, not now, not in my own tub.

[Gary]

Feet are a lot grosser than people give them credit for.

[Dawson]

For being gross.

[Gina Grad]

And nobody does anything about the chicks and dudes. People tweet me pictures of this on the airplane all the time. They just kick off the flip flop barefoot in it, all the way down. I can't imagine any stretch of carpet worse than the one on an airliner, but there it is. But this is my sofa and I got the chick with the bare feet just Sitting there. And the other part that I enjoy, too, is not. Like, when I come walking in, there's a. There's an adjustment. I just put my bare feet.

[Gary]

Roaches with the lights on.

[Dawson]

And you are.

[Gina Grad]

When you were a kid and you stood on the sofa, your parents would be like, get the. The fuck off of there. Like, I'm gonna Give me that. Oh, we have an extra flip flop. Good. I'm gonna beat your ass with it. Like, if you were barefoot and running around on your furniture, your claw sofa as a kid, it'd be like, get the fuck off there. Your feet are bare. You're walking around on the floor. Now you're in the kitchen. And now you're on here. What are you doing? That's all out the window now. Everyone under 30 goes to people's workplaces, kicks off their shoes, and puts their fucking bare feet on the sofa where people then sit and eat lunch later on.

[Dawson]

Would you have said something if it was a dude?

[Gina Grad]

Oh, I know I would have said something if it was a dude, because at the same place in the powder blue sectional, the guy was. That's. The guy, famously, was standing there as an extra doing some work when we were doing road hard. And he had one foot, one boot planted on the ground and the other boot planted firmly on the arm of the sofa while he stood there and read. Arguably a more uncomfortable position to stand in. But now your boot is on my fucking sofa. Like, I just walked back and went like, hey. And he's like, huh? Get your foot off the sofa. And like, oh. Oh, all right. Okay. I didn't know.

[Gary]

Chill out.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah. It's like, no, no, this isn't some bizarre ritual that involves my religion where, oh, no, I need two sets of dishes, one with the dairy and the other, oh, no, on Friday night, we have to unplug the fucking toaster. You got your fucking boot on my sofa, you dick weed. Take it off. What was a part of some weird Mormon sack that. No, this is you and your fucking waffle stompers on my fucking sofa. Get it on the fucking ground, you piece of shit. Jesus Christ.

[Gary]

So those are your thoughts on flip flops?

[Dawson]

That's how I feel about flip flops.

[Gina Grad]

It's. It's so fucking weird. I don't. I'm like. I'm confused by it. This is not. This guy's like an extra in this movie or whatever. And he's literally wearing boots.

[Robert Mazur]

All right, we got time for one more.

[Gina Grad]

I don't know if I'm emotionally up.

[Robert Mazur]

To Andrew wants to know he's doing some hiring at his business.

[Gina Grad]

And Andrew, should you go across the hall and yell at that chick to get her feet off my sofa?

[Robert Mazur]

He wants to know which former football player position.

[Gina Grad]

Hold on. It's not their fault. It's not this young lady's fault. That's the good news. The bad news is she's been ruined by a society that just does not judge and does not say anything. And nobody yelled at them like they yelled at us. Get your feet off the sofa, especially if it's not yours. So it's not her fault she's been ruined. Yes. Go ahead.

[Robert Mazur]

Wants to know which former football player position he should hire for his business. He doesn't tell us what business it is.

[Gary]

Terry Tate, linebacker.

[Gina Grad]

Loved that. Man, that was the greatest campaign ever.

[Gary]

It really was.

[Gina Grad]

I would say there's an obvious answer.

[Gary]

And not so obvious answer.

[Gina Grad]

Okay, I think you want to. I think I like the kind of quarterbacky kind of thing.

[Gary]

Now, look, it's the obvious answer, but a good answer.

[Gina Grad]

Long snappers, I find, are always cut out of a great cloth. And then they have not. Not just because I'm a long snapper.

[Gary]

Yeah. They don't get nearly enough tail because.

[Gina Grad]

They'Ve not suffered as much head trauma.

[Gary]

Oh, very true.

[Gina Grad]

Oftentimes because you got to deal with the concussive syndrome here that you're going to deal with with a lot of these guys. A long snapper's got all the hard work, all the ethic, a certain amount of, like, hey, I got to master this thing that's pretty difficult that nobody wants to do. And I got to remember the snap count and my, you know, my zones to cover when I come down and all that kind of stuff. And occasionally snap it to the up man for the fake. But. But I'm not. Not literally not punch drunk.

[Gary]

That's true.

[Gina Grad]

So I'm going to bizarre, easy to go quarterback, easy to go, sort of db, you know, free safety or strong safety or something, making the defensive calls or whatever. But you don't want a guy punch drunk.

[Gary]

I got an answer. It's actually similar to yours. I would hire the center, the offensive center, because that guy has to know every play, running and passing. Like their wide receivers or whatever, they kind of take the running plays off. You know, they just block and kind of put up a show. The center has to know every play, running and passing. He also has to call the defense at the upper levels. He'll call the defense of the quarterback as well as make the Actual blocking. All right, so that's my answer.

[Gina Grad]

The center three weeks later when he comes in and shoots up the joint because he's going through post traumatic disorder and it's part of his brain. Is the brain of an 81 year old and he's 41. Then deal with that.

[Gary]

He just said who to hire, not to keep on.

[Dawson]

What position is Brian Cushing on? The Texans?

[Gina Grad]

Yeah.

[Gary]

Linebacker.

[Dawson]

I feel like maybe not so much.

[Gary]

Oh, come on.

[Dawson]

Like, are they all scary? Like, it's linebacker, like the bully position.

[Gina Grad]

You don't want Ray Lewis playing for your. Working for your business. You gotta be tough. All right, Wheeler Walker junior's out there. We're gonna play. He's gonna play. We're gonna do that right after this.

[Brian Bishop]

Drop them out.

[Gina Grad]

Let me see them titties looking real pretty.

[Brian Bishop]

Come on, let me get her at your boots. Drop. Drop them out. Let me see them knockers going.

[Gina Grad]

Take a long look at those big hand pockers. Just squeeze them together while I play with my cocker.

[Brian Bishop]

Come on, beginner at your boo. Make an old man happy.

[Gina Grad]

Wheeler Walker Jr. In studio. The album Redneck, available now on Amazon. You can book Marcus and click on through. Premiered number nine Billboard's top country albums. Wow.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. Nashville was none too happy about that one.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah. I gotta say, because they're pretty traditional folks over there.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, to be honest, I'm not sure what pissed him off more, which was having a dirty, you know, having dirty songs, playing real country music instead of this pop country dog shit that the terrestrial radio plays or that I put it out myself and didn't use their fucking machine. I pissed them off in so many.

[Gina Grad]

I'm gonna say all the above.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. I think that's kind of what it is. And the fact that, you know, I met some of these labels before and they had told me, you know, you gotta take, you know, the last song on my records called which One of you Queer is Gonna Suck My Dick? And they were like, we can't put that song out. I'm like, man, I. No fucking compromises, you know? Yeah, that song. That's a. That's a song that's. It's from the heart, and I want to put it. It put that song out and the.

[Gina Grad]

Loins exactly behind that song.

[Brian Bishop]

You get drunk and happens. But yeah. And they were telling me what. I was like.

[Gina Grad]

It.

[Brian Bishop]

I'll just. So it's kind of like, what. You know, what you're. Do I own the album. I can do what I want. You know, no one can tell Me. What the. What the. To do. So it's been really cool that people are buying it and showing up to the shows and. Hey, dad, how you. My dad's a big fan.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, is he?

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, my dad fucking loves the Hammer.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, well, thank him. Independent movie. I made a few years.

[Brian Bishop]

One of his favorite movies.

[Gina Grad]

Wow.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, well, thank. Thank him.

[Gary]

He saw it for free on Delta.

[Brian Bishop]

No, he was a. I don't want to tell the whole story, but he. He had a heart attack a few years ago and he's fine now, but. First time in his life he'd ever been kind of, you know, not like my dumb ass who sits around watching TV all day. The first time in his life he'd actually been sitting. He was like, forced for bed rest and was watching movies all fucking day for the first time since he was a kid. And it's just shitty movie after shitty movie. He calls me up one day and goes, man, I just saw the first good movies in four fucking days. This guy, Adam Carolla made this movie called the Hammer. It's fucking great.

[Gina Grad]

Wow.

[Brian Bishop]

And that was after seeing 80 movies in a row. So, you know, he still talks about.

[Gina Grad]

It, by the way, coming from a country legend who wrote songs called shut up or I'll punch in the cunt and shut up or I'll shit in your cowboy hat. This is high praise coming from an artist like your dad. I know he's a legend.

[Gary]

It's from a shut up period.

[Gina Grad]

What did he. What did he. What. What does he do? What did he do?

[Brian Bishop]

Well, my dad was. I got busted because my dad is. I always say my. I come from a coal mining family, but my dad's actually like, on the. They found out that he's actually in the accounting part of it. He doesn't go down the thing. Because I always thought it'd be cool because I'm not. Ain't lying that, you know. Know.

[Gina Grad]

No. Gavin Newsom sat right where you were and like, hey, I'm a product of a broken family. Yeah. A super broken, rich, rich dad. Lead. Lead counsel for Getty Oil. Still technically correct, but not the hardscrabble upbringing we're talking about.

[Brian Bishop]

Exactly. In the early years, I was like, you know, I'm a. I'm a coal miner's son. It's like coal miner, you know, incorporated, you know, like the coal mining business. And then finally, just like, he sits in a office, you know. Yeah, I got busted. Whatever. I mean, half the shit I say is made up.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, I gotcha. Is so you're doing it your way, and you own it. You own the music.

[Brian Bishop]

I own the ma. I could call up itunes today and say, take it off. I don't want it on there anymore. You know, like, it's a really cool thing. And you probably. I don't know if you had the same experience when you went from, you know, radio to this, but just like, the freedom of just. Just having, you know, a podcast. Like, a podcast will call me up and, like, we want to use your song, but we don't have money. It's like, if it's a podcast, they're like, I just give it to them, you know?

[Gina Grad]

And also there's a monetary side. Like when California Adventure gives you a call and says, I want. Can't fuck you off my mind. We want to play it. You know?

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, I'll check my part. I'll check my phone.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah. I mean, maybe they're not going to call today or tomorrow, but they'll come.

[Gary]

Calling on tape to go through.

[Gina Grad]

That's right. You get to hammer those checks.

[Brian Bishop]

Totally. And, well, the thing, too, is I've learned, which is if. If you do it the right way, you know, everyone's talking about you. People don't sell records anymore. They don't. You know, and the music industry's dead if you do it the way I did it, which is I just paid for the album with the. I emptied out my bank account and paid this guy, Dave Cobb, who's the best producer in Nashville, did the Stapleton record, among other things.

[Gina Grad]

The new one.

[Brian Bishop]

The new.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

So he's like a. You know, he's the real fucking deal. Good friend. And he, you know, I just gave them all the cash I had. We recorded it, and then when you own it, the money, you know, if you do it smart, which is not something I've been known for in the past, but like, these Spotify checks that artists complain about or the itunes or Amazon, you know, all those sales, like, that's my money, you know, Like, I have a distributor, you know, puts it out. But, like, you get a bigger. I basically. Long story short, I broke even.

[Gina Grad]

I know.

[Gary]

True success story.

[Gina Grad]

Tell your dad I lost money on the Hammer. Okay, so tour dates. Wheelerwalkerjr.com is where you go. He's going to be in Georgia coming up September 16th and 18th as well, playing some shows. 40 Watt Club, Cox Capitol Theater in Macon.

[Brian Bishop]

Whole southeast. Our first tour of the south. Southeast, Oregon.

[Gina Grad]

Do you got a song you want to do for us today?

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, I was thinking I'm kind of in a sentimental mood. How about the ballad called Fuck youk Bitch?

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, please. Sounds good.

[Brian Bishop]

And this is on Facebook live too. You say we're done, you packed up your stuff? It's really over? Said you've had enough? There's one thing I'd like to say for your life. You. You broke my heart? Friends tearing us apart? Fuck your dog, hope he never comes home? Fuck you, bitch hope you wind up alone? Now you're gone I'm by myself jerking off Took pictures on my silly but before I swap? On your face that sky? Fuck you, bitch, you broke my heart? Fuck your friends for tearing us apart? Fucking dogs, hope he never comes home? Fuck you, bitch, hope you wind up alone. Enough time for the last verse.

[Gina Grad]

Sure.

[Brian Bishop]

Word is I am you found someone new? Well, I. I hope he does it for you. But if not and you call me up? Darn please. Fuck you L. You broke my heart? Fuck your friends for tearing us apart? Your dog never comes home. You hope you wind up alone? You hope you wind up playing alone.

[Gina Grad]

Leland Walker Jr. God, I love that redneck shit. Name of the album available as we speak. Stick it to the man, man.

[Brian Bishop]

Thank you for supporting real country music.

[Gina Grad]

I love it. And thank you guys for supporting Lifelock. Ah, common thieves. They steal smartphones. Identity thieves take over mobile accounts, then cash in on your data to buy phones and then they sell them. It's the biggest and fastest growing crime in America. It is identity theft. And that's why you need yourself a little lifelock, man. They're U.S. based. They're not outsourcing their stuff. And, you know, it's 2016. I'm going to finish this show and I'm going to go hit up Matt. I'm going to go buy something online. My information is out there, but I have Lifelock, my kids have Lifelock, and my wife has Lifelock. So we all have it. No one can prevent all identity theft. It's a good. What you want to talk about an ongoing commercial for Lifelock? Just all you have to do is turn on the TV and see what's going on with the DNC and. And the thing and Hillary and all the hacking and the WikiLeaks and Snowden movie coming out. It's like it's all there. What else do you need to know? $9.99 a month. That's it. It's Lifelock, baby.

[Robert Mazur]

Dawson, go to lifelock.com or call 1-800-lifelock and use promo code ADAM. That's ADAM for 10% off your LifeLock Ultimate plus membership call 1-800-LIFELOCK. 1- 800-LIFELOCK.

[Gina Grad]

So, Wheeler, we're gonna do some news and hang out crack wise. And if you want to go on for 15 minutes about your dad, his appreciation for my art, that's fine as well. But you can put your guitar down if you don't, you know, if you feel uncomfortable.

[Brian Bishop]

I don't want to look unprofessional on Facebook Live.

[Gina Grad]

Okay. All right, well, you can keep it on. I'm just saying, if it's in the way, you don't have to hold it. Let's do some news, shall we? Gina Grad.

[Dawson]

Do it.

[Gina Grad]

Give me the news with Grad. News with Gina Grad. Showbiz Congress Tech news, sports news, world news. Give me news with Gina. Graduation, Weird shit out of Florida. Sex surveys. Obama need. News with Gina.

[Robert Mazur]

Gina the news with Gina Grad.

[Dawson]

Well, just days before the start of the Olympic Games, the waterways of Rio de Janeiro are as filthy as ever. Contaminated with raw sewage, teeming with dangerous viruses and bacteria. This is all According to a 16 month long study commissioned by the Associated Press. Not only are there some 1400 athletes at risk of getting violently ill in disciplines such as sailing and open water swimming, but the AP's tests indicate that tourists also face potentially serious health risks on beaches of Ipanema and Copacabana.

[Gina Grad]

Well, one could argue this is the ultimate test of man's strength and endurance. You know what I mean? I mean, this year, a cockroach is going to win, you know, pentathlon. But hey, if you can't make it because you're yakking, because you couldn't, you couldn't cut it. Like your immune system's not good enough to stave off this Zika virus. Well, that's on you, man. I mean, if you're looking for the ultimate test of man's fortitude and strength and everything else, how about not dying?

[Gary]

It's the 11th argument in the decathlon.

[Brian Bishop]

Would you go? Would you go if they offered you to Rio? Yeah.

[Gina Grad]

You mean like just to go?

[Brian Bishop]

Hey, no, for the Olympics, like to cover it or something?

[Gina Grad]

I don't know that complaining is an exhibition sport. I don't know if it's actual sport. But when they do have complaining, I think probably about 2018, I'll definitely get in there.

[Dawson]

And that's just the tip of the iceberg.

[Gina Grad]

I'm not phobic. But on the other hand, I don't need to see exotic locales that bad. And when they do the travel Advisory. And they're like, hey, make sure and bring a styrofoam phone and wallet. Because when you get mugged, not if you get mugged. When you get mugged, you want to hand over your fake wallet and fake phone. That's a. That, to me, is a reason not to head to the airport.

[Dawson]

Absolutely.

[Brian Bishop]

That's my whole thing. It's just like, yeah, there's a 1% chance you're gonna get the Zika virus, but if I stay home, it's zero.

[Dawson]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

So that's. I'll take that.

[Dawson]

Well, and speaking of Zika, they were talking to an expert, and he said, if you want to make a virus go global, all you have to do is basically take it to its country of origin, bring people from all over the world there, let them hang out, get to know each other, hook up, make out, do all this stuff and send them home.

[Gina Grad]

Yes.

[Dawson]

So this is going to get worse. And when you spoke about the styrofoam wallet, speaking of that, Yahoo News, that less than a week before the Olympics are set to start, the Brazil Ministry of Justice terminated its contract with a private firm that was supposed to provide security for the Games.

[Gina Grad]

Well, first off, I just saw a whole expose on this on real sports. Yeah, I'm looking at Brian because he sometimes watches.

[Dawson]

I saw it. It was awesome.

[Gina Grad]

And the Olympic Committee says, well, first off, how could you not be corrupt? This is their international cartel of gangsters. It's just the worst person from every country joins one group, and then they get to decide who gets the bid. And of course, there's fate. I mean, how can it go any other way? You have the richest, most evil people on the planet all deciding who gets the Olympics for this year and who gets them for that year. And of course, there's monies and kickbacks and bribes.

[Gary]

It's comically corrupt.

[Gina Grad]

And then they're having in these countries that are dirt poor and they're spending kajillions of dollars on soccer stadiums that get used twice. And, I mean, how could it go any other way? And the bottom line is we need to have a kind of a thing that NATO should have or that we have enforced in other things, which is, look, here's the over under. If half your country is living in poverty and the other half has the Zika virus and the other half has tuberculosis and the other half is crapping into a river where someone d downstream is washing their underpants, you're off the list. We're not building any multi kajillion dollar Indoor skiing, you know, centers they're certain automatic, disqualified.

[Dawson]

Well, and this isn't just irresponsible. I mean, this is dangerous. Like globally dangerous. I also watched that episode and actually pulled a clip from it for you. Because they feature the IOC and all the corruption and its home is in Europe as well. They feature Rio Sochi, Russia, where the 2014 Winter Games were.

[Gina Grad]

Beijing 2008, by the way, there's nothing better that Sochi is great because there's. Nobody does beleaguered like a Russian woman. Like a middle aged Russian. Nobody does haggard and beleaguered like that. I mean, listen, black women, look, you're the leader in the clubhouse, at the funerals and you know, they shot my baby and all that stuff. But the super downtrodden beleaguered. You guys do a big plate to the upper balcony. I'm having the worst day of my life. The Russians do a quiet. Like they're just broken. Like the big bags under the. Wearing the smarter rag on top. And it's like that was my home. They bulldoze and we eat gravel, turn on spigot and rodents come out and we bathe in rodents. We had neighbors urinate on us so we could get clean. That was my home. They throw rocks at us. Yes.

[Brian Bishop]

And they do the relay race.

[Gina Grad]

Yeltsin Boris ride a horse through my living room with no shirt. And I had sex with underage daughter in front of me in paradise. My husband. Like, they're just. Nobody's despondent. Nobody just beleaguers despondent. Like, oh God.

[Gary]

See, Wheeler can pull off haggard, but he can't pull off, you know, a beleaguered like that.

[Brian Bishop]

When I get. Yeah, when I get. When they piss on me, it's for fun.

[Gary]

That's what I'm saying.

[Dawson]

You paid for it.

[Gina Grad]

You can watch the real sports on Sochi. And it's like, oh my God.

[Dawson]

Oh, it's a mess. So they, they focus on. Yeah, sorry.

[Gina Grad]

If you're looking for it, you search IOC on your HBO Go or whatever. It's not on Sochi. It's on the.

[Dawson]

It's pretty incredible. Human rights violations and war preparation in Sochi. Secret prisons in Beijing. By the way, Beijing is set to host the Winter Games in 2022.

[Gina Grad]

Well, could it go any other way? You have the most evil people on the planet running the organization. They then go to these countries like Russia, that are evil. They then import a bunch of slave whatever labor from beleaguered other countries around them, bring them in, put them up in these camps, you know, I mean. I mean, it's almost too perfect. How can it go any other way than this way?

[Dawson]

The part, the guy I felt the most horrible for was the amputee who was the paralympian. Do you remember? They basically hid away so no one would ask him how he got that way. And when you see the show, you'll find out how he got that way. It was because of the government. So here's a clip from the episode that discusses the IOC's demands.

[Gina Grad]

When Dawson was swimming in Rio two years ago.

[Robert Mazur]

Yeah. When swimming at Copacabana Beach. Nobody told us, don't go in the water.

[Brian Bishop]

I just shook your halo. We touched tips.

[Robert Mazur]

One hand and I just. I just dove into a wave and then went back to my hotel and showered. And just one submerged underwater.

[Gina Grad]

Wait a minute. You just dove in?

[Robert Mazur]

Well, I cried.

[Gina Grad]

How the cigarette stay lit?

[Robert Mazur]

I'm really good.

[Gina Grad]

Good. Okay.

[Robert Mazur]

It's a trick I learned.

[Gina Grad]

So you dove in.

[Robert Mazur]

Dove in. About 10 hours later, I wake up just coming out of both ends. Was violently ill and just destroyed for a very, very long time.

[Gina Grad]

So you got about a day and.

[Robert Mazur]

A half to get it out. And this is the beach. This is not the.

[Gina Grad]

Well, this is the story. This is the second story for every Olympics now, right? How the things coming undone and the stadium's not ready and the torch went out.

[Gary]

It's a story.

[Dawson]

Nobody wants to stay in the athlete village because it's horrible conditions.

[Gina Grad]

Hey, I got a plan. How about we simply just pick? You know, like I tell people live around here. You know, every once in a while, talk to someone, they go, I go, where you live? And they go, I live in Sherman Oaks. I go, good. That's the middle. You can get to Hollywood. You can get to Pasadena. You can get to Santa Monica, you can get to Canoga Park. Like out in the Valley, you're kind of. You're right there. It's not near anything, but you're striking distance, you know? Yeah. You can live with Dr. Drew in Pasadena. That's great. But when you gotta go to Santa Monica, you're. You're screwed. And vice versa. You live in Santa Monica, but good luck getting out there. Whatever. But I said it's the middle. It's your striking distance. Let's just do that with the Olympic. Why do I have to build all the infrastructure and all the soccer stadiums and all the ski stuff and all the. Everything? Why don't we just pick some place. Yeah, like Orange county or something.

[Gary]

Be careful. They're saying L. A. Well, we got the stadiums.

[Gina Grad]

We'll look around the world. Maybe it'll be Hungary, I don't know. And we'll just put this thing in the middle of it and that'll be that. Like everyone could just get on a plane and go there. The idea of building a multi billion dollar soccer stadium in amongst the poverty and then, then having to pay X amount to keep the stadium up while no one uses the stadium.

[Gary]

I've seen the story. It's like a tombstone, you know, Many years later.

[Robert Mazur]

It's just all those stadiums being built and they're very.

[Brian Bishop]

And they'll never be used again.

[Robert Mazur]

They will never be used again. And all of the people. I'm sure this. I gotta watch the real sports. But I'm sure they showed that like 80% of the population lives below the poverty line.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah.

[Dawson]

And the favelas better.

[Gina Grad]

I got a better idea.

[Robert Mazur]

And they're pissed.

[Gina Grad]

If you do build one of these stadiums, they have to be basically the stadium version of a futon. When they're done playing soccer, they gotta fold into like low cost apartments. Yeah. You know what I mean?

[Brian Bishop]

It's actually not bad.

[Gina Grad]

You gotta be able to convert it easily into units for poor people to live.

[Brian Bishop]

Motel 6. Motel 6 Stadium.

[Gary]

That's right.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, that's right.

[Brian Bishop]

It's got like Gillette Stadium and shit, you know, Stadium. Yeah. I'd stay there.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah. You do it a modular way.

[Brian Bishop]

Maybe I'm in the minority, but I don't even care about the. We're talking about all this other. Which I pissed me off. But I don't even care about the Olympics themselves. Like I don't care about the game. Like I don't. What? I like the NFL. I like, like, yeah, like I don't. Like.

[Dawson]

You don't like shot put?

[Gina Grad]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

All that stupid that you watch once every four years, it's like stupid and it's like, oh, you know, you Hear, you know, LeBron's playing tonight. Oh, cool. When do I want. Oh, he tip off at 4am or whatever. Like it doesn't even. It's just fucking. I think that's stupid.

[Gina Grad]

The time zone will be part of my decision making process when it comes to the. Most people can watch it. Although I'm not gonna count China. All right, what's next?

[Dawson]

So here, here's a clip. And Gary, remind me, this is the guy. This is a.

[Gina Grad]

This is a good guy.

[Dawson]

Yeah, he's a spokesperson from Norway who I think was trying to get the bid until he saw the 7,000 page rider that the IOC guys said, well, you have to fulfill this first.

[Gina Grad]

Well, and by the way, Norway, civilized went, hey man, we're not going to hand a bunch of grift over. We're civilized. Whereas Russia was like, hey, man, come on down.

[Dawson]

Yeah. So here's a quick clip of everything the IOC asked for in 2014, as.

[Gina Grad]

Norway was considering bidding to host the next Winter Games, IOC officials showed them lists of specifications and demands. 7,000 pages of them. 24 hour room service, including butler service. We don't have bottles in Norway. Continuous access to sufficient food and drink of high quality snacks and canopies are not good enough. Separate entrances for IOC people at airport. You can read and read. This is my favorite one. All rooms have to hold exactly at 20 degrees Celsius at all times. That's what, 67, 68 Fahrenheit.

[Ryan Reynolds]

That's a good temperature.

[Dawson]

So that's just the tip of the iceberg.

[Gina Grad]

This is where the old saying, you'll be less busy than a Norwegian butler comes from. Finally, the origins.

[Gary]

It always makes sense.

[Gina Grad]

Been throwing that thing around since I was in grade school. No, I know a lot. They've not outlawed butlers, have they? I'm free to move to Norway and hire somebody to take care of me.

[Brian Bishop]

When butlers are outlawed, only outlaws will be butlers. You know.

[Gary]

I smell another hit.

[Brian Bishop]

No, no, it's copyrighted.

[Gary]

Okay.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, oh, Maybe I can pitch AIDS Butler to you.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, we'll talk. What key you thinking?

[Gina Grad]

C minus or sharp?

[Brian Bishop]

C minus.

[Gina Grad]

C plus. I was a D minus guy.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Gina Grad]

You know, in high school, I think I'm kind of D like. I feel like if I said B or B sharp or something, my counselor would kind of come back and say, that's not your kid. Your D C minus. You're joking.

[Brian Bishop]

But I'll write that. It'll take us two minutes. Yeah. AIDS Butler.

[Gina Grad]

AIDS Butler is a TV show that I. It's a story of the. Gary. I'll be fast about it. The viatical settlement or agreement. Super simple idea, which is 15 years ago when everyone was dying of AIDS. AIDS guys. So you're a dude, you're single dude, you're infected with AIDS, and you have a $1 million life insurance policy. And you may have been, you may not have. Well, you don't have kids. You know, if you're a single dude, maybe you don't have a wife, a husband. Maybe your dad disowned you when he found out you're gay. So I was like, fuck him. I'm not leaving my million. What am I gonna do with this $1 million life policy when I don't have kids and my dad can go fuck himself? And the next of kin, well, what you can do is deal with some company, probably out of Florida. We'll give you 600 grand, you give us your million dollar policy and you go, how's that work? You got 600 grand for the next. However long you live, two years, whatever, 18 months, go on a cruise, go spend. Go have fun, do whatever you want. And then when you die, we'll take the million bucks and we'll hammer the checks. And they said, okay. And that's what they did for a while. And then eventually they got the act drugs, and the guys started using the money that they got to go hammer the checks. And what they would do is they'd have elderly couples invest in this. So they'd say to the elderly couple, hey, you want to make some money? Like, you're 83 years old, you got 600 grand, you don't have a lot of time, but would you like it to be a million? Give them the 600 grand, take over the insurance, and then you'll have. That'll be what you retire on. Well, the guy stopped dying. They just kept going. They started taking the medication, they started healing, and they didn't die. And now they. Now that's the twist. There's the rub. So now the elderly couple's like, we just gave you all the money we had to die. And he's like, fuck you, Granddaddy. I'm not dying. And there's nothing you can do about it. I got your money. And now the elderly couple's gonna die before the guy's taking the triple cocktail, because this is now a disease you can live with. So they're going, what happened? Where's our nest egg? And they're going, well, screw you. And that's where the sitcom kicks in.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, that sounds like something like Saturday Night Fever. Or that soundtrack maybe. Could be just as big. You know, the A Butler soundtrack. I write some of those tunes, get some real footage.

[Gina Grad]

Well, what we need is a catchy theme song. Because what happens, that's what I'm here for.

[Brian Bishop]

You heard these songs. That's catching.

[Gina Grad]

Well, what I'm saying is, what happens in the sitcom is the guy with AIDS is going, hey, I spent all the money. I can't give it back. And the old couple's going, hey, I know you got that money hidden somewhere. And the judge is smacking the gavel Go. Listen, you must, for the next five years, move to the retirement villa in Boca Raton and become their butler. That's the only way you can repay this debt.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, that's pretty good.

[Gina Grad]

So the gay guy moves in with the old couple, and now it's. Hijinks ensue. Like when the grandkids come in and they're. They're. They're. They're doing torch songs and stuff. When they come home from the. And every time, by the way, every time the guy leaves to get in the golf cart and go down to the rec center, they're always searching through his room. Like, I know he's got that money somewhere. Somewhere. So, you know.

[Gary]

Hi, Jinxing Sue.

[Gina Grad]

I know I told you to put the guitar down, but maybe you could pick it up and we could beat out a little aids. But.

[Brian Bishop]

But that I could. But I. Well, on the. On this subject, because you're a showbiz dude, and I know it's only take one second, too. Can I pitch you a movie idea? I had a few. Few sentences. Title? Viagroids. Okay.

[Gina Grad]

All right.

[Brian Bishop]

Okay. So what year. What year did Viagra come out? Don't even answer. Okay, so we're getting to the. So the idea is a horror movie. So when. When children who were born as a result of their parents taking Viagra, when they turn 18, they turn into these blue fucking goblin demons.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, this is good.

[Brian Bishop]

This is good, right?

[Gary]

I don't like it. I love it.

[Brian Bishop]

It's an idea. So we don't know yet, right? What's going to happen to these Viagra children when they grow up? It could even be true. I don't fucking know. But here. And here's where the Hollywood park is in. The only people who don't turn into Viagroids are the children whose parents were born out of love and not chemicals.

[Gina Grad]

Wow.

[Brian Bishop]

You like that idea?

[Gina Grad]

I like it.

[Brian Bishop]

I mean, it's people whose parents got natural erections versus the Viagra directions. And it's a bad.

[Gina Grad]

It's got a good. It's a very timely message, number one. Number two, not since Navageddon or Pedophile have I felt so strongly about a project Viagra.

[Brian Bishop]

We'll talk later about that.

[Gina Grad]

All right?

[Gary]

You can get Cialis behind this. It was a competitor Viagra.

[Gina Grad]

Now back to AIDS Butler for just one second.

[Brian Bishop]

You want me to pick up?

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, I do. And then I'm gonna. And if you can rhyme something with confirmat screw, that would be awesome.

[Gary]

Yeah, that's a tall order.

[Gina Grad]

What we need to kind of you think about, like, the Facts of Life theme song, you know, Gilligan's Island. That kind of tells the story, you know what I mean? Like, he's a gay guy. He ain't too shy. He took the money from.

[Gary]

He's a gay guy. He was gonna die. So the old couple.

[Brian Bishop]

Gay guy gonna die. Didn't. You didn't use a rubber. Now he's.

[Gina Grad]

Let's not get mired in how he.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, you know, you gotta tell the backstory.

[Gina Grad]

Literally in this case, you know, probably only have 22, maybe 30 seconds, so. All right, so we don't need to.

[Brian Bishop]

Know the old people actual act when it went in.

[Gina Grad]

Listen, much like the Laverne and Shirley song, when we release it, there'll be a long form and you'll get to hear the whole backstory.

[Brian Bishop]

This is the 32nd, the friends thing where they had the full version.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

So you want the short one now?

[Gina Grad]

Well, this is for the show.

[Brian Bishop]

Okay, Got it. AIDS guy. Hey, what'd you. Scott said he was gonna die then if they became a butler. Now he's.

[Gina Grad]

I met an old.

[Gary]

The old couple bought his life insurance policy.

[Gina Grad]

Met an old couple. Now he's moved in. And here's the reason why. Okay, let's try that.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, AIDS guy. He was gonna die, got an insurance company. Now he's got a butler, and he's. That's why.

[Dawson]

It's just exactly what you said.

[Brian Bishop]

AIDS guys. Butler in his. In his. Jizzing in his eyes.

[Gina Grad]

Again. This is. This is prime time.

[Gary]

We have to go online.

[Dawson]

I work in the senior living center.

[Brian Bishop]

I thought you said showtime. No, we're going network.

[Gina Grad]

Well, we're gonna. We're gonna trot it out, and there's gonna be a lot of suitors. I mean, I imagine hbo.

[Brian Bishop]

So we want syndication.

[Gina Grad]

We're looking for that syndication money.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, it's gonna take me. So these things don't just fly out of me. I gotta figure.

[Gina Grad]

No, I know.

[Brian Bishop]

We gotta. I think we got a strong start.

[Gary]

I agree.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah. No, no, we got the. We have the building blocks.

[Gary]

The bones.

[Gina Grad]

We got the bones or something. Really.

[Brian Bishop]

Something's gonna happen here and.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

Hey, if. While you're at it, can you figure out a rhyme for Viagra? Because that one's been killing me.

[Dawson]

Something about Niagara.

[Gina Grad]

I'll tell you what, I'll. I'll put some time in on that. You work on AIDS butler.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, we do each other. So.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

And split it 50.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah. All right, let's bring it home. Gina, Grad.

[Dawson]

You got it. I'm Gina Grad, and that's the news.

[Gina Grad]

Gina. Gina.

[Robert Mazur]

That was the news with Gina Grad.

[Gina Grad]

Ah, True car, baby. Love me some true Car. You want to buy new, you want to buy used? It's True Car. They have over 500,000 pre owned vehicles. Truecar certified dealers nationwide. Whether you're looking to go new, you're looking to go used, maybe you want to pick up truck. Brian had a pickup truck the whole time I knew him.

[Gary]

Geez, you're right. Three consecutive ones in a row.

[Gina Grad]

Chevy Silverado.

[Gary]

Correct.

[Gina Grad]

You want to get a used one of those Chevy Silverados, you go to TrueCar. You want to get a new one, you go to TrueCar. Save an average of 3279 bucks off of MSRP. Buy new, buy used. TrueCar.com and download the app. It's easy. TrueCar.com or use the app. TrueCar, baby. All right.

[Gary]

I think the most offensive part of the song was calling him AIDS guy.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, that was you. You got started.

[Gina Grad]

I know.

[Gary]

I didn't realize that.

[Brian Bishop]

Listen, man, they got the drugs. He'll be fine. Yeah, he's going into syndication.

[Gina Grad]

Wheeler Walker Jr. Redneck shit. Name of the album available as we speak on Amazon. And the Infiltrator, that's for Robert Mazur. Us live shows everywhere. Go to AdamCoroll.com all around, around the country. Check out the books, the mugs, all the stuff. The cruise coming up, all the good stuff. Just go to AdamCarolla.com and until next time, this is Adam for Robert Wheeler and Gina and bald. Say it. Mahalo.

[Brian Bishop]

Which one of you queer is going to suck my dick?

[Wheeler Walker Jr.]

All right, this adam cooler show. 1874 for Wheeler Walker Jr's first appearance in character. Hope you guys enjoyed until next weekend and get it on.