Biden's Cancer Diagnosis + Comedian / Filmmaker Jay Chandrasekhar

Summary

Episode Summary: "Biden's Cancer Diagnosis + Comedian / Filmmaker Jay Chandrasekhar" | The Adam Carolla Show

Release Date: May 20, 2025

In this engaging episode of The Adam Carolla Show, host Adam Carolla welcomes renowned comedian and filmmaker Jay Chandrasekhar. The conversation spans a variety of topics, including Jay's career in comedy and film, insights into the entertainment industry, a deep dive into President Joe Biden's recent cancer diagnosis, and a critique of media coverage surrounding political figures. Additionally, the episode touches on societal issues related to recidivism and recent scientific breakthroughs.

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1. Welcome and Introduction

Adam Carolla kicks off the episode by introducing Jay Chandrasekhar, highlighting his work in Super Troopers and other notable projects. The introduction sets the stage for a candid and humorous conversation between the two personalities.

Notable Quote:

Adam Carolla [04:01]: "Hey, it's Adam Carolla from the Adam Carolla Show."

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2. Jay Chandrasekhar's Career and Experiences

a. Early Career and Challenges

Jay shares anecdotes from his early days in the entertainment industry, discussing the challenges of being an Indian comedian and filmmaker in Hollywood. He humorously recounts instances where his roles were misrepresented, such as being credited for a minor part in Wreck-It Ralph instead of his more prominent work.

Notable Quote:

Jay Chandrasekhar [06:47]: "You're a donut cop, by the way."

b. Filmmaking Insights

The duo delves into the intricacies of filmmaking, with Jay providing behind-the-scenes stories from various projects. They discuss the logistical hurdles of shooting films, such as unexpected interruptions during filming and the importance of preparation and adaptability on set.

Notable Quote:

Adam Carolla [07:01]: "Am I the maple bar or the donut?"

c. Comedy and Theatrical Films

Jay emphasizes the unique energy of live comedic performances compared to streaming content. They reminisce about classic comedies like Spinal Tap and Super Troopers, advocating for a resurgence of theatrical comedy that fosters communal laughter and real-time audience interaction.

Notable Quote:

Jay Chandrasekhar [54:06]: "There's no thread. I thought this was a comedy show."

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3. President Joe Biden's Cancer Diagnosis and Media Coverage

a. Diagnosis Details

Adam brings up the news of President Joe Biden being diagnosed with an aggressive form of prostate cancer that has metastasized to his bones. He references a conversation with Dr. Drew Pinsky, who confirms the diagnosis and discusses potential side effects from the treatment, such as Parkinsonian symptoms and physical stumbling.

Notable Quote:

Adam Carolla [21:00]: "I was turning beet red. I felt like I was cooking from the inside out."

b. Media Critique

The conversation shifts to analyzing how major media outlets like The New York Times and AP are covering Biden's diagnosis. Adam criticizes the media for what he perceives as a cover-up and questions the credibility of expert opinions, drawing parallels to past instances like the COVID-19 pandemic.

Notable Quote:

Adam Carolla [25:04]: "The New York Times is perfect. Now here's the thing. The New York Times is going to cover for Biden because the New York Times would prefer that Joe Biden be the president."

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4. Societal Issues: Recidivism and Drug Policy

a. Case Study: Eric, NYC's Number One Recidivist

Mayhem Miller introduces the story of Eric, a man with a history of over 134 arrests for shoplifting since 2000. The discussion highlights the cycles of addiction and incarceration, questioning the effectiveness of the current criminal justice system in addressing underlying issues like drug abuse.

Notable Quote:

Mayhem Miller [113:27]: "He just can't stop stealing. Even after a mind-boggling 134 arrests."

b. Policy Recommendations

Adam and Jay debate potential solutions, such as implementing harm reduction strategies similar to those in Portugal, where safe injection sites and accessible treatment have led to a decrease in street crime. They express skepticism about the feasibility of replicating these models in the United States due to cultural and systemic differences.

Notable Quote:

Adam Carolla [114:07]: "We can't have you in our society."

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5. Scientific Breakthrough: Turning Lead into Gold

a. Overview of the Achievement

The episode briefly touches on a scientific breakthrough where researchers at Europe's Large Hadron Collider successfully transformed lead into gold, albeit for only a split second. Jay and Adam discuss the implications and the fleeting nature of this transformation.

Notable Quote:

Mayhem Miller [122:27]: "Scientists at Europe's large hadron collider have successfully transformed lead into gold."

b. Discussion on Necessity and Applicability

Adam expresses a lack of enthusiasm for this advancement, questioning the practical applications of turning lead into gold given gold's limited industrial uses compared to other materials like diamonds.

Notable Quote:

Adam Carolla [122:38]: "Gold is soft and doesn't really have an industrial application."

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6. Community Engagement and Future Projects

a. Vouch Vault Crowdfunding

Jay introduces "Vouch Vault," a crowdfunding app designed to create a recommendation-based platform for movies, shows, and other interests. He explains how it differs from traditional platforms like Rotten Tomatoes by utilizing trusted recommendations from known individuals rather than stranger reviews.

Notable Quote:

Jay Chandrasekhar [85:27]: "It's sort of like an Instagram of recommendations."

b. Upcoming Shows and Performances

Jay discusses his upcoming performances at various comedy clubs, encouraging listeners to attend and support live theatrical comedies. Adam promotes his own live shows, providing dates and locations for fans to purchase tickets.

Notable Quote:

Jay Chandrasekhar [84:25]: "You're working out for a movie that I. That's not announced yet."

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7. Closing Remarks and Final Thoughts

The episode concludes with light-hearted banter, more comedic anecdotes, and a final roundup of the discussed topics. Adam and Jay reinforce the importance of live performances and community in the realm of comedy and entertainment.

Notable Quote:

Adam Carolla [71:01]: "This is a good example of our president."

---

Conclusion

This episode of The Adam Carolla Show offers a blend of insightful discussions, candid interviews, and humor. From delving into Jay Chandrasekhar's extensive career and the challenges within the comedy and film industries to critically analyzing media coverage of political figures and societal issues like recidivism, the conversation is both comprehensive and engaging. The inclusion of a recent scientific achievement adds a unique twist, showcasing the show's versatility in addressing diverse topics.

For listeners seeking a mix of comedy, political commentary, and thoughtful discourse, this episode serves as a compelling entry point into the dynamic world of Adam Carolla and his guest Jay Chandrasekhar.

Transcript

[Adam Carolla]

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[Mayhem Miller]

The private exchange consists of only licensed.

[Adam Carolla]

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[Mayhem Miller]

Visit www.tritondigital.com to learn more on this episode.

[Adam Carolla]

Jay Chandrasekhar comes back. Super Troopers and everything else. Good dude, Funny guy. Mayhem's got the news and we'll do all that right after this.

[Dawson]

Even More Live Shows with Adam Carolla at the end of this month in Bellflower, California. Two shows at the Stand Up Comedy Club on May 24th. Then on May 30th he travels up to Washington for four shows at the Tacoma Comedy Club in Tacoma May 30th and 31st. Then off to Spokane, Washington at the Spokane Comedy Club on June 1st. Tickets for these and [e-mail].

[Adam Carolla]

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[Dawson]

From Corolla One studios in Glendale, California, this is the Adam Carolla show. Adam's guest today writer director Jay Chandrasekar. Plus the news and trending topics with Jay and Mayhem Miller. And now rainy days and Mondays and taxes and red turn arrows and backup beavers and unrised coffee mugs and thick crust pizza always get him down.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Adam Corolla.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, get it on, got to get on. No choice. We got a man. Get it on. Thanks for tuning in. Thanks to Frame. Love that about you. Right, Mayhem?

[Mayhem Miller]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, so lots of stuff to think about, complain about. I'm curious how life works. I don't know how life works at all. Like I was looking over the weekend, there was a Tiffany Haddish event that I was invited to and I went and looked at the roster. Who's going to be there? Jo Koy, Tiffany's going to be there. I want to see who's going to be there. And each person in the roster, when it explains who they are, it might say this person. And then it might say from this short bio. Yeah, it's really not even a short bio. It's just like this thing, like, I don't know, I guess if you wrote Ryan Seacrest, you'd write American Idol or something like that. So you go look through the roster of names, as you know, and I get to my name and it says my name. And then next to it it says Wreck It Ralph. Wreck It Ralph is a movie from 12 years ago where I had a small part as a donut cop. If you went through my IMDb, I don't know how long it would take before you got to Wreck It Ralph.

[Mayhem Miller]

Well, I personally am a fan of.

[Adam Carolla]

You as the donut I like Wreck It Ralph. Wreck It Ralph was a two hour record session that I did 13 years ago that I don't even have a DVD of. Wreck It Ralph. No one's ever even said mentioned a word to me about Wreck It Ralph. My entire life, I've never been stopped in an airport. Hey, you the donut guy. What year was Wreck It Ralph? I mean, sound like 12. Yeah, it had to be over 10 years ago.

[Mayhem Miller]

Why?

[Adam Carolla]

If you're just advertising Adam Carolla and people, ostensibly people look at the list and go, yeah, it's 2012. It's 13 years old. People look at the list because they go, Adam Carolla. And then is he a local realtor? And then they would look and they would go, oh, love. Oh, the man show guy. Like, that's why we. It's a primer. It's like, oh, here's this guy. And then you go, oh, that guy. I don't feel like Wreck It Ralph would help at all if you were in the who's Adam Carolla, but it's also bizarre. I mean, yeah, I've done a lot of TV series and starred in movies and things of that nature to the deep state media.

[Mayhem Miller]

You're a donut cop, by the way.

[Adam Carolla]

We're looking at the picture. I don't even know which donut I am. That's how far off I was guessing.

[Mayhem Miller]

You're the lanky donut. But then I went back and forth. No, you the gruff, short donut. I don't know the round one.

[Adam Carolla]

Am I the maple bar or the donut?

[Mayhem Miller]

I don't know. But you. I don't Lost and cream to me.

[Adam Carolla]

So I don't know gay slang, but I will agree with you on that. So now I don't care. I'm just saying, how do we arrive at things in life?

[Mayhem Miller]

Because somebody who threw the party, you.

[Adam Carolla]

Know, somebody's in charge. Like you say to somebody, look, we're going to have a roster, and you're going to put the person's name and the person's name next to it. Could be contest winner, or could be DJ or could be architect. Like, I. I don't know. But we're going to need just one word next to the person. Radio host or something. Man show. We're going to need something next to the person's name signifier. So that person then sets out on this task. Like, you know, the person's probably 22 and has no idea who most of these people are, but they set upon the task of, all right, who. Who's this guy? How do you get to Wreck It Ralph with me? That's. That's. How do you even get there? That's a weird.

[Mayhem Miller]

That is some Zoomer kid pulled off your IMDb. Oh, the one movie that she knew.

[Adam Carolla]

Is that what it is? That's what happened. That's what happened.

[Dawson]

So, obviously, Loveline, the Man show would probably be the best ways to. But how would you feel? Would it be better or worse if they said Adam Carolla? The Adam Carolla Show?

[Mayhem Miller]

Yeah, that's what I would think.

[Adam Carolla]

I'd be fine.

[Mayhem Miller]

I'd get a lot of traction out there.

[Dawson]

I don't have Any don't know who Adam Carolla is.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Dawson]

You don't know what the Adam Carolla show is?

[Adam Carolla]

I don't have qualms other than you pick something that was 13 years old and I've. And now look, the man shows longer than 13 years, so. Maybe you got a point. But I'm not a part of Wreck It Ralph. I've just played a donut. If you look at the Wreck It Ralph roster, I mean, the over under on my name in terms of cast.

[Mayhem Miller]

I want to hear your lines. Actually, I'm interested now. I didn't even know you're in that movie now. I'm going to check it out.

[Adam Carolla]

My name must be. I don't know, the Mason Dixon Line would be the 10th person mentioned in that movie. The 13th.

[Mayhem Miller]

Yeah. It looks like 40th. I don't know. But down under Al Bundy. Let's see.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't even. We're looking at a list of 35 people who are Wreck It Ralph by.

[Mayhem Miller]

Stephanie Scott, the Muppet Girl.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't even know how we got.

[Mayhem Miller]

To any of this above Horatio Stans. All right.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know. Respectful. Anyway, all I'm saying is I have no idea how life works. And do not expect people to ever do a decent job at anything ever, because there's no such thing.

[Mayhem Miller]

Do his best.

[Adam Carolla]

There's no such thing as just saying to somebody, hey, find these names. Just put the most popular recognizable product next to it. All right? But maybe Wreck It Ralph is more recognizable than many of the other things I've done. Anyway, I want to know. I have a theory, but I want to know. I went to go visit Dawson yesterday and take a look at some construction that was going on on his place. I was 30th on the wreck It Ralph list. Nice.

[Mayhem Miller]

Nice.

[Adam Carolla]

Out of 28 cast members. And I was driving back down Victory where I used. I used to live out North High. And I was just driving back, marveling at how much the neighborhood has changed. And at some point, I passed a strip mall. I stopped at a light, and I was just looking at a strip mall. And there was a store in the strip mall that said Jason's Adult Store. And a couple things. I know your name's Jason, but it's also. I don't. I don't. Jason is not a great name for an adult store, but all right, it's his store. But then I'm like, is his mom proud? Like when she drives by the adult store? I don't know, but I don't feel like it's a made up name. Jason's. It's his adult store. And then it's happened a lot when you drive around and you pass these places and they say like adult superstore and stuff like that. In a day and age of everyone has an iPhone loaded up with 2 million hours of porn. What is going on at the porn store now? I mean, it's not renting a VHS tape. It's not, you know, if you want to buy a strap on, that's an Amazon item. Right? Okay, so, but here's what I'm saying.

[Mayhem Miller]

Look, look, like Jason. Some people like the community.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Let me explain something. Whenever somebody says what's going on? I don't get it. I am telling you that every answer, every question to all of life's riddles will be explained in either gay, black or metric system. Buddy, those will all be explained. So if you go, who's going to these adult stores? Gay will do that. If there's other confusion, like who leases car rims, Black will take care of that. And then the metric system will fix this one too, because you'll go, like, I'm looking at that guy Speedo on the F1. Cars going 320 miles an hour through the streets of Las Vegas. It's like, not 320, he's going 180. That's. You're getting kilometers. You see what I'm saying? There's nothing that gay, black or metric will not solve. Yeah, bud, there won't be the same question that it's gonna solve.

[Mayhem Miller]

Listen, bud, you're absolutely correct about that because I worked at a porno store for about three days.

[Adam Carolla]

Where at?

[Mayhem Miller]

Orange County, California.

[Dawson]

Best three days of your life.

[Mayhem Miller]

Buddy, listen, let me tell you, it was a nightmare, okay? Because I was training for fights, all right? I was a young guy trying to, you know, be sponsored by spankies. They had great merch. A guy with one big arm.

[Adam Carolla]

Uh huh.

[Mayhem Miller]

Yeah. Really great merch. But it was the shift from 12 to 9 in the morning, that was my shift.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh my God.

[Mayhem Miller]

I just had to go see the most maniacs of maniacs returning videotapes that were greasy as all get up. Yeah, yeah. And then stocking them back in, looking at these gaping anuses and like loads on faces. It was horrific. Okay, that was great to look at. But try to go home through traffic and then lay there with gaping in your mind, all right? Next to a girl that's snoring all morning. I quit. I gave up. I gave up. Look, the one thing about it was giant fists, okay? And I said, what kind of woman puts this in herself? And the guy looked at me cold and was like, women don't buy these.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, you're talking about, like, a rubberized.

[Mayhem Miller]

Fist or a traffic.

[Adam Carolla]

How much of that? I was all gay, right?

[Mayhem Miller]

Oh, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, that's it. That'll explain.

[Mayhem Miller]

If the owner asks you to jack off for $500 on video, don't do it. And I was like, all right, I won't.

[Adam Carolla]

Let's see.

[Mayhem Miller]

Sorry, I got a little blue there. Sorry, coach.

[Adam Carolla]

Sorry. Well, speaking of that, I got some more clips from the movie Cruising with Al Pacino.

[Mayhem Miller]

Right into it, then.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, well, it's. It's. It's more Jay Moore. And this time, Jay Moore's talking to his boss.

[Mayhem Miller]

Beat it out is a great show, man. I gotta tell you, dude.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, you can go.

[Mayhem Miller]

You guys really kill it on that show, man.

[Adam Carolla]

You can go over to Substack and check it out. But Jay is funny, and I'm funny with Jay. And that show, Beat it out is if you just want to laugh. I mean, the thing about podcasts is a lot of podcasts are in the comedy department, but they're not really. They're not doing a lot of comedy.

[Mayhem Miller]

You're educating the masses, I think, on this show, bud.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, there's comedy on this show, but there's also serious talk on this show. But beat It Out. It's just. You want to laugh? Go check it out. This is Jay. All right, I'm going to play your commanding officer now.

[Unknown]

All right?

[Adam Carolla]

So how's it going at the gay bar?

[Unknown]

Excuse me. Sorry if my burp smells like buttermilk and Clorox.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, whoa.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

It's going.

[Unknown]

Do you smell pennies? I can't get the smell out of my beard and mustache hair. Yeah, the smell of pennies.

[Adam Carolla]

Remember, you have a girlfriend, a dedicated girlfriend, Karen Allen. Karen Allen.

[Unknown]

Did you know undercover, there's guys out there doing things to each other you wouldn't?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I don't even want to think about it.

[Unknown]

Well, it's all in my report, Jack.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't want to. You know, I just want to bust a serial killer.

[Unknown]

Well, that's the problem. You start frisking them, and they bust.

[Adam Carolla]

They bust a nut.

[Unknown]

Oh, they come all over the place. It looks like ABC foam out of a fucking fire extinguisher.

[Adam Carolla]

Maybe we should just find some homeless homo and just. Just. Just put these charges on them.

[Unknown]

That's small potatoes. There are guys out there. These guys are international drug kingpins and they just happen to like cock.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, so you could. Yeah, you could catch a lot more than a serial killer.

[Unknown]

Oh, I can catch a serial killer. I can t. I can catch a local fairy ferry. I'll put them right on the Long island ferry and I'll catch him on the ferry.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, but you don't understand.

[Unknown]

I gotta stay undercover a lot longer. You cannot pull me off of this case.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay, but what's the thing with the light blue bandana you have hanging?

[Unknown]

Well, light blue bandana I learned from my friend Powers Booth, means if you wear it in your back left pocket, it means you want to suck somebody's cock. If you wear it in your back right pocket, it means your cock sucked. If you wear a yellow bandana in your back left pocket, it means you like to give golden showers. If you wear the yellow bandana in your back right, it means you like to get golden shells. Give you any idea what it's like to be in a blowbang?

[Adam Carolla]

A what? A blow bang daddy Powers Booth. Sounds like a place you'd go to to beat off.

[Mayhem Miller]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

Not right away it wasn't.

[Adam Carolla]

Uh huh.

[Unknown]

It wasn't that place right away. It became a place I went to beat off.

[Adam Carolla]

Anyway, I called you in my office just to talk about overtime. I don't know how we got into this.

[Unknown]

I know I put in for 1100 hours of overtime last week.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

[Unknown]

Well, I need more than that.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, well, you can't. We can't. I'm real close. We can't have a cop getting paid more than the mayor.

[Unknown]

Well, I did all fairness. To quote Babe Ruth. I did a much better job than he did last year. Have you ever had somebody kiss you right on your whale eye?

[Adam Carolla]

Whale eye?

[Mayhem Miller]

Whale.

[Unknown]

That's what they call asshole out there. You cannot pull me off of this case. I'm close.

[Adam Carolla]

I was an instructor at the academy and I've never heard of anything you're talking about.

[Unknown]

There's a whole world out there you don't know about. You don't know nothing cause you never been fucked in your ass.

[Adam Carolla]

This is not official police.

[Unknown]

Have you ever been fish hooked? Have you ever had a Dominican face hat or a three fingered Mexican oil job? Cause I have. You will not pull me off of this case.

[Adam Carolla]

What was the Dominican face hat?

[Unknown]

Yeah, you need a license to do that one. And they only sell them at the seaport.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, we're not gonna do any better than great. All right, now, listen, David's just rolling, but you can go to AdamCarolla substack.com and check it out. Now, listen, here's why I get credit. What Jay Moore did there with Al Pacino from Cruising. That's genius, because he does. He's the star of the show. But it's this guy right here who thought, hmm, Jay's coming in. I love that Al Pacino movie, Cruising. We should tell Jay to do Al Pacino and Cruising. So that's me, the maestro, you understand?

[Mayhem Miller]

Totally. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

I facilitate the comedy. All right, so you can check that out. Also something. So it's a. It's a. It's a small matter, but I think it's an important matter. A coaster. There's all different kinds of coasters. There's like, cork coasters, there's leather coasters, there's ceramic coasters. I'm going to work this out. But a coaster. I want to make it illegal to sell a coaster that is under 4 ounces.

[Mayhem Miller]

All right. You want a regulated coaster.

[Adam Carolla]

I want regulate coaster size, fly around, because you put the frosty mug down on it. Then at some point, you pick up the mug and the coaster sticks to the bottom, but it doesn't stick good enough for you to take a sip and put it back down. It sticks good enough for you to lift it up, turn it at an angle, notice it's on there, and then have it fall and roll across the restaurant or wherever you're at. Coasters. I have these coasters here. They're too light. They get stuck, and then you pick them up and then they fall and they make a scene. I've done myself.

[Mayhem Miller]

I've done it myself.

[Adam Carolla]

That's what I'm saying. Okay, so let's get big coaster on the line. Now you get the ceramic ones, you're fine. Maybe shipping's a little more, but they gotta be at least 4 ounces, otherwise they have to have a little bit of heft in order to stay on the table.

[Mayhem Miller]

You always have these grandiose problems.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, These are first world problems. All right. Then there's this, which now I was told the other day by a doctor to try some niacin.

[Mayhem Miller]

Oh, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

And I had this recollection of, like, what I thought was ODing on niacin, the supplement, when I was in high school.

[Mayhem Miller]

You got a piss test coming up?

[Adam Carolla]

No. Is that what they do?

[Mayhem Miller]

Yeah.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Yeah.

[Mayhem Miller]

You eat a bunch of that, I think. Flush it out. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

So I said no, I'm not going to OD on anymore, but I'll try some niacin. I got 500 milligrams of niacin. The other day I was in here just going about my business on the weekend. I popped one, I started walking around, and about 30 minutes in, I realized I was turning beet red. And it wasn't just my face, it was my hands, my chest, my knees, my whole body turned red.

[Mayhem Miller]

Vasodilator.

[Adam Carolla]

And then I felt like I was cooking from the inside out. And then I thought, am I having a reaction to niacin or does everybody across the board have this reaction to niacin in that I can't take a 500 milligram pill? Like, I would have to say, I could take it, but I'll have to go sit down.

[Mayhem Miller]

I supposed to eat something with it. So the cup.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, is that what it was?

[Mayhem Miller]

I think you're supposed. Yeah, if you eat it just straight up, just absorbs into the bloodstream. There you go. You're blowing up.

[Adam Carolla]

I didn't eat anything, so I need to wash it down with something.

[Mayhem Miller]

Yeah. Oh, because your blood is going to boil. Your blood. Yeah. Comes to the surface, the capillaries all blow up.

[Adam Carolla]

It was crazy, the reaction. So, all right, get that going. Eat something with it, is what you're saying?

[Mayhem Miller]

I think so.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, you're right. Probably eat something with all supplements pretty much. Is that what they say?

[Mayhem Miller]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, Then this. It's funny, I was. So now there's the whole Joe Biden thing. I talked to Dr. Drew prostate this and that. Dr. Drew has some prostate experience. So what Drew said was, okay, there's no way he wasn't diagnosed with this several years ago. Okay. So Drew said between two and five years ago, you would have had to be diagnosed because you're getting physicals and annuals and you're the most diagnosed person on the planet. So he knew he had it. And then I said, well, what is the treatment? Was he undergoing treatment? And he said, yeah, I'm sure he was undergoing treatment. They didn't want to tell you about it, but he was undergoing treatment, which would, you know, if you think about it, calling a cap on the news day at like 4 o' clock saying you can't get to places before 10 in the morning. You know, cutting trips short and stuff like that, not being around for several days, lots of vacation time at the beach and stuff like that. You go, oh, yeah, that sounds like someone is undergoing some treatment. And then I talked to Drew, and he said, well, the treatment has some side effects. And the side effects are sort of the Parkinsonian stuff and the stumbling with the walking.

[Mayhem Miller]

You get worn out.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah. And the way you talk. And early on, what you saw with Biden may have been side effects from the treatment. And it would kind of explain, I guess, some good days and some real bad days. Oh, yeah. You know what I mean? And so Drew said this was definitely diagnosed. They were definitely being treated. And what you're seeing is partially, is a side effect to the treatment. So just so you want to know, just because I asked Dr. Drew about an hour ago on the phone. All right, now, on the Joe Biden thing, something struck me, which is the New York Times and a few others. So they're doing this whole thing where Jake Tapper's doing the. The White House wasn't straight with us. Except for the White House isn't going to be straight with you. Okay, I'll put to you this way, Jake Dapper. You did four years on Russian collusion. The White House never said you got us. They said, you're wrong. So why'd you do four years on Russian collusion without the White House? The White House told you this wasn't happening and didn't exist and was a lie. So are you just going to the White House for information? You didn't do that with Trump. You did four years on Russian collusion and the White House said no. So when the White House says something, you don't take them at their word. That's why you're a reporter. That's what reporters do. The White House says this, and then you go investigate.

[Mayhem Miller]

He seems super decrepit on the way in. You know what I mean? I didn't need Dr. Drew to tell me that.

[Adam Carolla]

I didn't need anybody to tell me that. I got film of it. But there's a cover. There was a cover up. And when they go back and look at the headlines, you can see there's a cover up. These people act like they weren't saying this in print and on film for the last five years, but there's a New York Times one. The New York Times is perfect. Now here's the thing. The New York Times is going to cover for Biden because the New York Times would prefer that Joe Biden be the president. By the way, who did the New York Times endorse as a candidate? I have no idea why. If I ran a newspaper and they said to us, all right, we got a couple months to the election. We Gotta give the candidate we endorse. I'd go, no, no, we're not gonna do that. And they'd go, why not? I'd go, because later on, we're gonna try to write articles and expect people to believe those articles, but it's all in support of the person we endorse. And then people aren't gonna believe us. They're gonna think we're fucking liars.

[Mayhem Miller]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, so why do the endorsement? New York Times endorses this, and the headline reads, memory loss requires careful diagnosis. Scientists say, by the way, didn't we just get fucked by the scientists with COVID Remember, New York Times, with all the scientists talk? A federal investigator said that President Biden had poor memory and diminished faculties. But. And by the way. All right. But such a diagnosis would require close medical assessment. Experts say. All right, you guys just lied about COVID With. The experts say. And the scientists say, number one. Number two, New York Times experts say it would take close medical assessment. When my sister would go visit my dad when my dad was 90, I'd go, hey, Lauren, how'd the visit go? She'd go, he doesn't remember. He doesn't. He's fading his memory shot. He can't remember the grandkids. You know, whatever. I wouldn't go, liar. Why isn't there a scientist? No, no. You sit in a room with somebody for four hours and you ask them a battery of questions and they go, yeah, I don't know, what date did my kid die? Or what date was I inaugurated? Or what date did the Lusitania sink? Or whatever. Yes, we're all experts. You sit in a room in front of anyone, talk to their elderly parents. Yeah, we're experts. We're all fucking experts. New York Times. But you're lying. And that's what you do. But you hide behind the experts and the scientists. Just like you duped us with COVID You did the exact same thing with the expert and the scientists. And we're gonna need to. AP writes verbal gaff or sign of trouble. Well, we don't know, man can't think, can't speak. But we don't know. Could just be a gaffe. Mixing up names like Biden and Trump. That's the good one. Ap, ap, you're just included. We're talking about Biden, we're not talking about Trump. But now you included Trump have this in common. All right, so what? AP's angle is we're gonna somehow fold Trump into this mix with the old man who can't speak. And then the Washington Post writes how your memory really works and how it changes as you age. Yeah, it gets worse as you age. And then sometimes you get dementia and it gets shot completely. Memory lapses happen at every age. Okay, all right, so we're all in great shape here. But recent missteps by Biden and Trump. We're not talking about Trump. We're talking about Biden. Have sparked questions about memory and aging. So it's all a little shell game. Very interesting. Just shave intense. Just shave intense. You know exactly how they work. Anyway, we don't need to listen to what the New York Times has to say about Biden. We never did. They endorsed Biden and now they're running cover for Biden. So just understand where you're getting this information.

[Mayhem Miller]

So what do we do? We just ignore New York Times from now on?

[Adam Carolla]

Okay, let me just say everything, all right? I became an expert on Covid not because I got a degree. I knew every kid in my neighborhood was fine from COVID including my own kids. Once I knew every kid in my neighborhood, my kids and all their friends were fine with COVID then I knew it didn't affect kids. I didn't have to talk to experts. They got it. I knew what it was.

[Mayhem Miller]

It went away or.

[Adam Carolla]

You mean they either got it or they didn't or who cared? They're fine. Yeah. Okay. I don't need to be an expert when I'm watching Joe Biden at the Juneteenth celebration, standing next to dudes with beards and dresses who are all rocking out to Chaka Khan and he's given some sort of Vietnam 500 yard stare onto the horizon. I don't need an expert to tell me what's going on here. Just like you don't need an expert if you. Let's just say your Uber driver shit faced. Do you need an expert to decipher that? What do we need the expert for is what I'm saying? This guy sat down, interviewed Biden for five hours and he got a decrepit old guy. Yeah, he's an expert. Now. You would be an expert, too. Okay, if I sat down and said, I'm gonna talk to Ben Shapiro for an hour, when I was done, I'd go, that guy's fast, and that guy's got a hell of a vocabulary, and he thinks on his feet. And then if I sat down with Mark Garagos, I'd go, that guy's fart. Fart. That guy's fast. He's lucid. Smart, he's fart. He's fast and smart. He's fart. And I'd go, that guy's sharp and I'd like him to represent me in a court of law. And then if I sat down with my dad a year before he died, I'd go, I don't think so. Now am I an expert or do I just sit? Could sit this whole. You're not an expert. This is how they fucking get away with what they get away with. Cuz then they hire their experts. Oh, you're not an expert. You don't know that tobacco's addicting and nicotine's addicting. We have our RJ Reynolds has their own experts. Well, listen to that. Okay, that's what's going on. Fucking idiots. All right, Know what I like, need to understand this. I was watching the NASCAR pit crew competition.

[Mayhem Miller]

Sick.

[Adam Carolla]

The difference between first place, like, the guys first off, they just recruit athletes. They recruit football players out of college now. No more fat good old boys. No, they're getting athletes, which makes sense. And it's also what happens when you just stand back and let nature take its course. You start realizing dudes going over a wall with a jack and handling a 50 pound impact driver, the air hose on it. And you see what an athlete does or working out, playing football and that kind of stuff. You go, oh, yeah, give me one of those guys. So that's where it'll go. They all recruit. Now, the difference between first place and last, 15th place, one second. One second, you're either up on the podium hosting the golden lugnut or you're 15th place, you're dead last. This is one second.

[Mayhem Miller]

Amazing.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. People see, I turn to people like all. But it's that way with music. It's that way with comedy. It's that way with everything. It's like, it's not much. There are plenty of funny dudes. There are plenty of people who play the guitar. There are plenty of people who could play good high school baseball. But they're not getting to the show. It's just that it's milliseconds. Yep.

[Mayhem Miller]

It's small percentages.

[Adam Carolla]

You're right. Very small.

[Mayhem Miller]

Very important in the fights.

[Adam Carolla]

Very small percentages. There's plenty of tough dudes, plenty of good athletes, plenty of pit crews, plenty of everything. It's just little bits.

[Mayhem Miller]

It's an orchestra too. Those guys are all working together. Everybody got to hit their mark.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it's great. I mean, it went from. I mean, F1. They do four tires in like 1.4 seconds or something. Wow. Yeah. They don't do four tires in five seconds. They do four tires in, like, under two. It's all four.

[Mayhem Miller]

That's pretty amazing.

[Adam Carolla]

But you know the thing that's always amazing is circling back to Wreck It Ralph. Can you imagine just under two seconds to do all four tires on your car? And now you're going 200 miles an hour in your car. Wouldn't there be a little thing in the back your head going, I wonder if that lug nut got like, Burt's kind of an idiot. Or I caught him smoking weed the other night, you know, like out by the camper, like.

[Mayhem Miller]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

You know how many times my wheel would fall off in life if I tried this thing? Almost every time. I went on at the funniest thing once. I did a race once, and I was come. I was coming around the corner, I did a couple laps, and then at one point I came around the corner. And right in the middle of the road, right in the middle of the road was a giant tire pressure checker. Like a professional grade race car style. Not the cheap plastic little ones with the dog dick in it, but I'm talking about a big dial and a long hose, like a $50 nice pressure checker. And I came around this corner at Laguna Seca, and I saw it right in the middle of the. Right in the middle of the racetrack. And I thought, what kind of fuck up left a tire pressure checker in the middle of the. And then I started thinking about, now I'm driving in this race, and I'm like, it must have checked the tire and, like left it in the rim or something. And then it took a lap and it shot out and just landed smack dab in the middle. It was probably dangerous the way it landed. And I was like, what kind of fuck up? And then I was like, I did another lap and I saw it kept getting hit and, like, knocked around and crushed and everything. And I was like, well, I remember getting back to the pits and I remember thinking to myself, there's somebody here who's a bigger fuck up than we are, because we do that kind of dumb shit.

[Mayhem Miller]

Well, I thought you're gonna tell me you left it on the roof when you were getting in.

[Adam Carolla]

No, no, I said, somebody's a bigger fuck up than we are because they left their fucking tire checker right in someone's rim or something. And then at some point, my guy Les goes, where is my tire checker? And I go, what? He checked it. He put on the Back of the car where the. Where the wing was. And the thing sloshed around the wing. And then I went around that corner and got a little bit loose on lap number three and the thing flew off. It was always our car. And I remember thinking, we're the only real fuck ups at this whole track. Everyone else knows what they're doing. But then there's us. But that's not mine. Oh, yes, it is.

[Mayhem Miller]

The bad news bears of Laguna seca.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes, it was. All right, we're going to take ourselves a break. Jay Chandrasekar is going to come join us. You know him from everything. I mean, super troopers probably the most, but tons of tons of movies, man. Beer fest, club dread and all that. Super Troopers 2. Lots of stuff to talk to Jay about. We'll do that right after this. Oh, good. Omaha steaks. Love these guys. Father's day is coming around. That's right. Let's do something nice for dad this year. Let's give him some Omaha steaks. When it comes to father's day, some things never change. Dads want steak. A recent survey shows 75% of Americans agree there's no better way to spend father's day than grilling with the family. Yeah, it brings everyone together. It's a nice social experiment. And Omaha steaks are so good. All their stuff is good. From usda certified tender steaks to burgers and more, Omaha steaks delivers the world's best steak experience. Guaranteed to secure your spot as dad's favorite. That's right. Get them the good stuff. And the burgers are great too. I just had those. What can I say? It's great. High quality meat protein. It's the best. It's Omaha steaks. Right, Dawson?

[Dawson]

Don't miss the semiannual sale at omaha Steaks. Visit OmahaSteaks.com for 50% off site wide. And for an extra $30 off, use promo code ADAM at checkout. That's 50% [e-mail] and an extra $30 off with promo code ADAM at CH Caldera Labs.

[Adam Carolla]

Guys, let's be honest. We'd like to look a little bit younger. Maybe feel a little bit more confident when we look in the mirror. That's exactly what caldera lab is here for. Their high performance skin care is designed specifically for men. Simple, effective and backed by science with products like the good. An award winning serum to help protect your skin from environmental stressors and the eye serum to help reduce the appearance of tired, dark circles and puffiness. This stuff works. You really can't go wrong. They have cutting edge formulas. They are plastic neutral. They are certified cruelty free. Am I right, Dawson?

[Dawson]

Whether you're starting fresh or upgrading your routine, Caldera lab makes skincare simple and effective. Don't settle for drugstore junk or steal your partner's products. Elevate your routine with skincare made for. Head to calderalab.com Adam and use code Adam at checkout for 20% off your first order.

[Adam Carolla]

Simply safe. Well, you want to feel safe when you're at home. And that's what it's all about. Traditional security systems only take action after someone has already broken in. That's too late. Simplisafe is setting the new standard in home security. Simplisafe's active guard outdoor protection can help prevent break ins before they happen. That's right before the break in happens. With AI powered cameras backed by live professional monitoring. Well, those agents monitor your property and they will detect any suspicious activity. Monitoring plans start affordably at around a buck a day. So there is no more excuses. These guys are great. We all use them here and they've all been. Well, they've been with us since the beginning. Hell, before Dawson got his house, he had simply safe in his apartment. He took his Simplisafe stuff with him and now it's in his house. Am I right, Dawson?

[Dawson]

You can get 50% off your new Simplisafe system with professional monitoring and your first month [e-mail] Adam just head to simplisafe.com Adam to claim your discount and make sure your home is safe this year. Keep your home, your family and your peace of mind protected with Simplisafe. There's no safe like Simplisafe. It's time for Nicaraguan name that movie with Adam's buddy Oswaldo. See if you can guess which movie this famous line is from.

[Adam Carolla]

Bye bye. How do I find adorning the castle?

[Dawson]

If you said the princess bride.

[Adam Carolla]

Bye bye boys. Have fun storming the castle. You're correct.

[Dawson]

Now back to the show.

[Adam Carolla]

Jay, good to see you as always.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

How are you, pal?

[Adam Carolla]

I was thinking about you today and I thought I always like my little trivia, my bits and pieces. But they made a movie about you starring Anthony Hopkins called the world's fastest Indian.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

They did? Is that the name of it now?

[Adam Carolla]

It's a movie about an Indian motorcycle. But you have great foot speed.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

You know, that's why I come on this show. Because you bring up that incredibly awesome fact about me Gift. Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

Can I say this? And I mean It. In all sincerity, I believe that the reason we respond to certain things the way we respond to in society, like kids are. Young boys are obsessed with foot speed.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

My son, when he was 8 or 9, would be like, this guy in my class, he's the fastest. Like, it's the weirdest thing. Like, later on in life, you start talking about money and homes and things like that or travel or accomplishments, but it's all how fast you are from the time you start school to, like, the. To like the ninth grade, it's all just, who's the fastest. Right.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Speed made me cool. Yeah. And I was coming into it. Like, I mean, when you watch Animal House, the three nerds who are trying to pledge Delta, one of those named Jugdish.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Like, I'm coming into this situation. There's a guy named Jugdish, and I'm going to be Jugdish. Right.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

But I happen to be the fastest dude in the class, in the whole school, in both grade school and high school. And people are like, this guy's cool.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Well. But let's try to distill down now. First off, you're Indian.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

And you grow up in a place. We're about the same age. We had white people have different categories for all the groups. You know what I mean? We know what the Mexicans are. We understand the blacks. You know, we also have folks like Dr. J. That guy's the coolest guy on the planet. Not a real doctor, not even a physician. But why wouldn't you want to be like that guy? You know what I mean? So there's like, dudes, okay. We had Freddie Prinze Jr. And Jose Feliciano. We got some exits. We understand Asians, Indians were just like. We throw our hands up like, we want to make fun, but we don't know where to start. We're not exactly sure what the culture is. No one's tried the food. We had a guy named Ayaz Sheikh, and we just thought it was weird. That's all we had. We didn't have. We couldn't hang anything on. They're not fat. They're not. They're not anything enough. They can't. Don't run Hollywood. You know, like, we don't know what to do with them. But. But. But weird. Except for not with the foot speed. Right?

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you know, I really took that foot speed and turned it into. Into something I think my whole career I took started there and ended up here.

[Adam Carolla]

Did anyone ever put a clock on your 40?

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Yeah. Four, five.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, wow.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

That's the world's fastest Indian.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

It had to be. It has to be, right? I mean, the coach. I was on the football team for a week in high school. And, you know, because I played a lot of like, smear the queer and whatever, all these football games.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

And I was the fastest guy in the neighborhood. So I'm like, I'm going to be the next Walter Payton. There's not an Indian running back in the NFL. I'm going to be the first guy.

[Adam Carolla]

No, they're all cornerbacks.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Yeah. Right.

[Adam Carolla]

So I end up switch them as soon as they make the show.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

I end up being the fastest guy on the football team in high school. And the coach is like, I got a guy. And after a week of like just getting creamed and 2A days, I'm like, I'm not. I'm not tough. I'm out.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

So I joined the golf team.

[Adam Carolla]

But let me circle back to why, you know, like, so you run against another guy. By the way, I'm not fast. I wish I was fast. I did play football. I played a lot of football. Like, I really wanted that foot speed. Like, could have gotten to the next level. I played linebacker and I ran a 4, 9, which is probably more like a 5. And that's just not fast enough. I was quick, super quick and super good. But. But I needed the foot speed. It was never there. Nothing you can do about it. Not going to show up.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Can't teach it.

[Adam Carolla]

Can't teach it. So now we're getting back to this. What is so important about, you know, why. Why is my son coming home and bragging to me about people in his class that are fast, like 9 year olds? And then I realize it's God given. It's touched by God. See, we. We kind of like when you see a woman and the woman's a slender woman with a big rack, you go, oh, man, how often? You don't see that. That often. And then you go, why are we attracted to. Why are we talking about. What are we thinking about? Touched by God.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Touched by God.

[Adam Carolla]

When you see a beautiful woman whose face is just beautiful, angular, symmetrical, just. Where'd you get those huge eyes and the pouty lips and everything? What are we attracted to? We're attracted to touch by God. And for me, when I see a guy with amazing calves, I'm like, God loves you.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

God loves you.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. I mean, he gave you those calves.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

And it changes your life. Like, I was the first guy picked when the two captains Picked. I was the first guy picked.

[Adam Carolla]

And it's also. And it's a world. It's not where there's not other people who can run. You just are a few tens faster.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

You want the fastest guy or you want that second fastest guy?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I think it's the touch by God part because it's like you didn't do anything to earn your speed. And the chick, the slender chick with the big rack didn't do anything either. And Angelina Jolie didn't do anything. Touched. Yeah, touched by touch.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

And it makes you confident. I used to walk around saying, I'm the fastest guy you've ever met, and I could back it up.

[Adam Carolla]

Would you. You'd go do some street racing, right?

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Oh, yeah. I'd run barefoot. I'd run in gym shoes. Didn't matter.

[Adam Carolla]

You just take it outside.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

You weren't gonna beat me.

[Adam Carolla]

Amazing.

[Mayhem Miller]

So this guy's going to the Olympics. I thought he was a comedian.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

I've slowed a little.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, you made the right choice. I just remember that all it takes is something like that to overcome whatever and to be popular and to get along in junior high and high school. I don't know how many Indian kids there were in your junior high and your high school.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Zero in my grade school and zero in my high school.

[Mayhem Miller]

Where was that?

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Chicago suburbs. Believe it or not.

[Mayhem Miller]

Believe it.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

And, and, and the foot thing, minus being the fastest kid in your high school now you just left with Indian guy.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Yeah. Like, you know, when I was young, when we'd play cowboy and, and Indians, I was always the Indian, and I could never make an argument why I should be the cowboy.

[Adam Carolla]

Boy, good argument for you to be a cowboy.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

And, you know, well, what can I say? And, you know, there's this thing that you do when you play this game. You go, this wa, wa, wa, wa. So I was doing that and my grandmother's like, stop it right now. She's like, that's what you do at a funeral when an Indian dies. In India.

[Adam Carolla]

In India.

[Mayhem Miller]

I didn't know that.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

There was a lot of confusion.

[Adam Carolla]

A lot of confusion. But you overcame.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Where was the sense of humor back then? Was it in full flight?

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Yes. You know, like, I think Indians, because the British were there for 250 years. You know, they're very sophisticated from a comedic standpoint. Like, my mom read all these PG Wodehouse books, which are like these British comedy books. And I think that it's just a matter of being nimble with the language. From a long time ago.

[Mayhem Miller]

I think many people think real quick. I mean, in my experience, like, it's a lot of. I mean, it makes sense to me because down there in Southeast Asia, and then everybody's on top of everybody. It's an advanced culture. Everybody got to think fast.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Yeah. It's competitive. It's competitive to make your way in India, that's for sure.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, Indians have all the components of comedy, but then seem to steer it towards something else, not toward comedy.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Right. Because when I was coming up and thought, oh, I'll try to be a comic, when I looked at the movie screens, there were two Indians. Well, there were three. Right. One was Sir Ben Kingsley. Okay, fine. They weren't going to make.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

They weren't gonna make a Gandhi, too, though. Right. I mean, the way that ended.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

And then the other guy was Fisher Stevens, who was a white guy in brownface, and the other guy.

[Mayhem Miller]

Short Circuit two.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Short Circuit two. My dad said. He goes, you have to see Short Circuit two. And I said, why? Because there's an Indian in. I'm like, dad's a white guy in blackface. And he goes, well, it's as close as we'll get.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

And I'm like, you watch me, pal.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

The other guy was Peter Sellers. And he. He was.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

In a great movie called the Party. And he did a great job being an Indian.

[Adam Carolla]

Birthday num num.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Yeah, he was great in it. Right. But so. So I was looking at it going, man, there's. They don't even. If they want an Indian, they don't even. Wouldn't even use me.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

So the only way I'm gonna get in this business is if I write my own script, direct it, and cast myself into the middle of the movie.

[Mayhem Miller]

That's great.

[Adam Carolla]

I was speaking about this the other day to somebody, and I do bring it up all the time. I have the same thing, minus the foot speed in the Indian heritage. But my parents didn't like me. And so I was like, who's ever gonna put you in a movie? Or who's ever gonna let you be in a TV show? Like, I was doing a math. Your own parents, I mean, they're lukewarm. They're not fans. So I was like, well, you're not gonna get a movie, but if you write your own TV series and you write your own movie, then you can star in your own TV series. But you're not gonna pass any process where you, like, audition.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

No way.

[Adam Carolla]

It's not gonna work. So it actually. But I have I've had roommates whose parents love them and they're under the illusion that Hollywood would love them just as much as their mom did. But it turned out they were wrong. You see what I'm saying? So maybe it's an advantage going nobody, you're gonna have to do it for yourself.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

It's like there are great looking people who fit the casting roles, you know, like.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

And those people, sometimes they get cast and they're in things but then they kind of disappear because they don't know how to make it themselves. And then the new good looking person comes in and they get the job.

[Adam Carolla]

It's like being the hot blonde in high school. It's. You can coast for a while.

[Mayhem Miller]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

But eventually that's why I always describe California as that way hot blonde from high school but just turned 50 and phone ain't ringing anymore and she don't have any skills. Like she needed to pick up a skill along the way instead of just dating and having a good, having a good time, you know.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

That's right.

[Adam Carolla]

And so there is a. There is like I was thinking about, you know, you're watching P. Diddy and Cassie and all that kind of stuff and it's like, oh yeah, she's super hot and she got plucked up when she was 19 by P. Diddy and the next thing you know she's getting drugged up at a party and getting whizzed on. You know what I'm saying? But it's cause she's hot.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Like this, this thing that you wish for. Watch out.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Cause it's not, it doesn't always have a great ending.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

That's right.

[Adam Carolla]

It's like some. If she was a five and a half, do not think P. Diddy would be helping her career out. And then she wouldn't be at any freak offs either.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Yeah. None of that would have happened.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Still, you know, you could be good looking and maybe just make better choices.

[Adam Carolla]

It's true. But thank God I'm ugly and slow.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Me too. And fast. That's fine. But yes.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah. So it's not. And also it doesn't. You know, it's like, it's like when they talk about anybody whoever employs a handicap guy, they'll always go, that guy's the hardest work. He shows up there, at least he says, yeah, he's overcompensating for being in a wheelchair. You know, like it takes him 10 minutes to get out of his van. So he shows up a half hour early every day and then 20 minutes early when it comes rolling in. Right. So that guy is compensating. There was a kickboxer named Superfoot.

[Mayhem Miller]

Oh, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Many years ago. You know the guy?

[Mayhem Miller]

Yeah, I know this story.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, he had his foot damaged where they, like, stepped on a landmine in Vietnam or something. So he had to kick with his other leg and over compensated. Like, became a champion with his back.

[Mayhem Miller]

Oh, but this is a rabbit hole going down. Baxter Humby had one arm and did Muay Thai fights with.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, really?

[Mayhem Miller]

Yeah, There's a lot out there. Guys are over overcompensating Bill Superfoot Wallace.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Really?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. So it's like you got dealt this hand and now you're overcompensating for this stuff. And it's why you're out working now, you know, while you're doing vouch Vault, the app, by the way, doing the crowdfunding campaign, which we're gonna talk about. There he is. Superfoot Bill Superfoot Wallace.

[Mayhem Miller]

If we had a poster at my.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Gym, what's the other foot? Is the other foot damaged or is that. That's the damaged foot?

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know if it's his front. His front foot doesn't look to be in great shape, but it could just be the photograph. But his foot was damaged and he somehow overcompensated by. And I don't know what the full story was, and I don't know how much of it is lore, but the point is, is you get dealt a hand, you overcompensate, you go another direction. And when you run into all the super good looking popular people you went to high school with, 25 years later, a lot of the super good looking people aren't up to that much because they didn't have the eye of the tiger. They just sort of were popular.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

They didn't need to. They didn't need to. You know, there wasn't a white guy in brown face playing the part. They should have gotten Fisher Stevens.

[Adam Carolla]

Fisher Stevens is my. Like when I talk to people and I explain that look, you know, when people go, guys, why did a guy cheat? He had a beautiful wife, beautiful children. I go, because that guy's like strange pussy.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

You know, and they go, that guy had it all. Had. His wife's beautiful. Beautiful. I know, but that's what guys do. And then people go, yeah, but women look at it like through their lens. Like, you have a loving woman. She's very attractive. Why are you. I'm going, you don't get it. It has nothing to do with her. That's what guys do. Fisher Stevens was married to Michelle Pfeiffer. Can you believe that? He was married to Michelle Pfeiffer and he cheated. He cheated on Michelle Pfeiffer.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Incredible.

[Adam Carolla]

The Indian guy.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Incredible.

[Adam Carolla]

From Hotwire 3 Short Circuit 3. That guy marries Michelle Viver in her prime. And he's a nice guy. I've interviewed him on the show and stuff. But he felt the need to be with another woman. So the story goes. That guy, that guy, that guy.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Do you know.

[Adam Carolla]

So what I'm saying to women is everybody's capable of it. What I was saying, if he can cheat on her, then anyone can cheat on Bill Clinton can cheat on Hillary if he can cheat on her. So be prepared, ladies.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Do you know what Fisher Stevens, real name, that's a stage name. Fisher Stevens.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, really?

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

His real name is Stephen Fisher.

[Adam Carolla]

I think I heard that.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Can you believe that? He's like, this is gonna do it. This is gonna do it.

[Mayhem Miller]

You know, I kind of did. Maybe it worked for like two summers.

[Adam Carolla]

I was at the Acme Theater with a Doug Jackson who later became Jackson Douglas. Jackson Douglas. Yes, yes. And I'll figure out who he married. It'll take a sec. I had a Doug Jackson who became a Jackson Douglas. So it's half okay. It can happen.

[Mayhem Miller]

Sounds like an elder statesman now.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, he. God, he married. What's her name for marvelous? Ms. Mavel Maisel, the agent from the Family Guy. I'll think of her name, stupid. The agent from the Marvelous mystery.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

I've only saw two of them, but.

[Adam Carolla]

You only saw two of them.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

It's a good show. Good.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah, it's good. When I say her name, you'll know. I'm having a Joe Biden moment. We'll figure it out. There's a cover up who was in marvelous. Ms. Maisel. And then it's what's her name? And she's all over the Family Guy. So then you'll put it up there in a second. Alex Borstein, right? Who I knew from the Acme was a bitch to me back.

[Mayhem Miller]

Oh, that's why you're stuck on this.

[Adam Carolla]

I like Alex Borstein, but she yelled at me in my own kitchen when I was throwing a party.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

For what?

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know. I've had a few run ins with people and I've had to explain to them. I had. I had a bar that somebody yelled at me at and I had a kitchen that she yelled at me at. And at some point I went, it's my kitchen. And My party and you're standing in it, so shut the up. Like, I just told her, shut up. I don't know what she was complaining about. Yeah, something she was, you know, she's a ball buster. But she married Doug Jackson, who became Jackson Douglas. That's all. That's all I'm saying.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

And did Jackson Douglas, who's an actor.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, he did some stuff and does some stuff. Maybe did a little. Maybe a little TV directing like you. How much TV directing are you doing?

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

I've done over 150 episodes of television. I've directed.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Yeah. Then they don't bring you a cake. They don't bring you anything. They just get back out there. Their TV business has slowed dramatically. Like, there's almost so little of these comedies being made now. So I still do a few a year. But what I'm really, what I'm about to do is go make a new. It's not announced yet, but I'm making a new film. And so I'm trying. Actually, this is what happened. I'm trying to get into shape for this new film, which I'll come back and tell you what it is. And so I'm trying to, you know, and I need some. The story is that I accidentally put on my wife's underwear, okay? And so I buy. I buy 10 black, like boxer brief underwear so I can work out, right? And they show up and I put them on and I'm like, my wife, whenever I wear new underwear, she's always like, hey. Like, she acts like it's going to turn into sex, but that's like the most I get out of it. Hey, look at the new underwear.

[Mayhem Miller]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

This time I'm walking around in this underwear. And she goes, why are you wearing my panties? And I'm like, I'm not. What do you. And she goes, yeah, yeah, you are. And I'm like, I'm not, I'm not. They're a little short. And she goes, is there a cotton panel? And I'm like, there is panel. And she goes, is there a hole to take a pin? And I'm like, there isn't, but I thought they were European. They're medium sized. They're my size. They showed up. And she goes, yeah, I ordered the wrong size. And I was going to return it, but now I can't because you're wearing them. And I'm like, now? I'm like, now what do I. So I kept them.

[Adam Carolla]

What are you going to do with them now?

[Mayhem Miller]

They smell like. I match your Nutsack smells like.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Absolutely.

[Adam Carolla]

I like this thing.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Absolutely.

[Adam Carolla]

So now that inspires a movie.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Well, it's another. I'm making it. Well, I'm trying to make a movie and be, you know, I'm trying to bring back the theatrical comedy and I'm just trying to do it by saying it over and over again.

[Adam Carolla]

The theatrical comedy people. Instead of going to see Tom Cruise, we could go see Ghostbusters. Is that what kind of you're saying?

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Yeah, I mean, you know, we should be in theaters, you know, smoking weed and watching great movies. Comedy movies again. And not, you know, I get that there's a place for these streaming straight to video kind of things. I get it. But, you know, there's a theatrical comedy element that's valuable.

[Adam Carolla]

Let's break down the game, film a little bit here. Going and seeing an action movie or an action thriller, it's great in a group. I mean, I think the communal thing is always a good thing, whatever that is, but kind of unnecessary with thrills and action and suspense because you're sort of just watching it on your own. Comedy is communal. Like you go to a comedy club and you go to a comedy club and the place is full and sold out and it's rockin' and there's an energy to everybody laughing. Now, if I said we're gonna go to a comedy club and there was two people in the audience, the energy would be completely and utterly different. And if I said and we're going to a sold out comedy club. But I'd like to take the first 20 minutes and share a very serious poem with you guys to turn into a completely different thing. Now, I would argue that if I was going to read a serious poem for 20 minutes, I don't think I would need the crowd.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

No.

[Adam Carolla]

Or I wouldn't need to be full, but the energy and the rock and roll. So when you watch, like I went and watched a movie I did with Jimmy and a bunch of guys a million years ago called Windy City Heat.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

That's a great film.

[Adam Carolla]

I hadn't seen that movie in years, years and years. And it was like the 20th anniversary of windy City Heat. So they invited Jimmy, got a place in Westwood. He got the Bruin Theater, invited the cast and the friends and the family. I took my kid, who's 18, never seen windy City Heat. I didn't. I'm in it and I was a part of it. But it's not something that I think of when people go, what movies are you done? I never bring it up. It's not my movie. I should. People like it, but I don't think of it that way. But anyway. And I watched that movie with 300 people, and it was raucous and it was fun, and it was, like, communal. That was visceral. And people were just laughing and laughing, and I was like, oh, yeah, this is a much better experience than just watching this at home.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Yeah. And, you know, like, Silicon Valley basically said, hey, we're going to disrupt everything. We're going to disrupt music, we're going to disrupt movies, but they aren't. These situations are not better. Right. The movie situation is not better. Is it more convenient to sit on your couch and watch a movie? Yeah, I get it. You're also looking at your phone. You're also walking in and out of the room.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

There is a. There is value to some of the great things we used to have. And this is not a. You know, it's not like I'm. You know, we're just going to the movies again, like.

[Adam Carolla]

No, I agree. Look, the problem is the pause option.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

You know, when you're sitting at home, you just go, I'll just pause it. And then you go, look, I remember I went to church on Sunday, and it's like, I don't know, hour and 10 minutes, and my phone was just sitting next to me. I shut the phone off. I just shut it off before I came in. And then, like, at some point, I was like, what time is it? Like, how far into this are we? Because I don't really have a gauge, you guys. They were singing, now this guy's talking. I don't know where I'm at. And so I remember thinking, well, I'll just turn my phone on, just see what time it is. And then I went, no, don't do it. Don't touch your phone. Just sit there. And then I went, well, I just turn it on, see what time it is, and I'll just shut it off. And I was like, don't touch the fucking phone. I was like, having this internal monologue. I'm like, oh, I don't know if I'm 40 minutes in or I'm 20 minutes in. Because this is a rhythm that I'm not used to. I'm like, don't touch your phone. That's the beauty of the theater. You can't do it. You're there. You can't pause it. You can't do it. And even though you think it's great, it's not. It's literally, you are Also, there's a delayed gratification that you need that's part of the foreplay. Like when you go, I'm gonna see this movie tonight. And then you go, I gotta buy tickets online. Then we gotta find a place to park near the theater. It's all foreplay. You don't really know it, but it's kind of foreplay. And then you sit down and they run the trailers and stuff or whatever. It's all part of the foreplay.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Yeah. And now they've got cocktails at these places.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Mayhem Miller]

So you're gonna get jacked and wear women's underwear?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Well, I'll tell you, man, I could have, since I couldn't return them, and I'm. I'm not. I wouldn't call myself cheap, but I must be. I'm gonna wear them. I'm gonna wear them out. I'm gonna finish them up, and that's the game.

[Adam Carolla]

I could use an absorbent panel. The cotton.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Cotton panel?

[Adam Carolla]

What's wrong with a panel?

[Mayhem Miller]

Break it out. We'll do a YouTube review.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

It's not bad.

[Adam Carolla]

A cotton panel never hurt anybody. And I don't think it's black, white, male, female.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Right.

[Adam Carolla]

Short or tall. I believe everyone appreciates a collar.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

A hole to pull your dick out is. It is initially an issue. And you're like, I just go over.

[Adam Carolla]

The top, you know? You know what I'd like to do? Oh, I just thought about this. There's kind of code for big dick. No one can say I have a big dick, but there's certain codes that lead people to think different directions. I think I just came up with a good one. So when guys go, oh, listen, once in a while you hear some guy like, I don't know, you're having drinks, you're with male female couples or something. Like dick size comes up and you hear a guy get serious, you know, go. You know, most women don't even like a big dick. All right? Most women say they're chafed and they're uncomfortable. Most women. Okay, okay. Small dick. Okay, Keep on. And by the way, it's not the size of the boat, it's the motion. All right, all right. Microcock. Just keep going. You're telling the story, you know what I'm saying? So you never want to do that because you're just advertising you have a small dick. I think the boxer brief. I think I'm going to start the story. I'm going to do. You know what I'm going to do? I'm gonna do your Story. I'm gonna modify it a little bit and it's gonna turn into a big dick story for me. So I'm gonna go. Yeah, I got the new boxer briefs and I was in a hurry there and I put them on backwards. And then I've gotta take a leak. I'm at work, I'm going for the junk. And I couldn't. Just got no fly. Anyway, I pulled it out the leg. I went with the leg. Cause it's just closer. It's just closer to use the leg. I could have tried to go over the top, but it's so much closer. It's already there. You know what I mean? Then people are like, how big is your cock that's going halfway down your thigh? And I just tell the story and we all have a laugh and everyone walks away going, carl, that's good. Yeah.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

I will tell you this. Like, wearing woman's underwear does make your dick look good. It is what it is. I'm just saying they look pretty good.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Looks pretty good.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. So this is in no way connected to getting people back into the theaters to watch comedy. A thread.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

There's no thread.

[Adam Carolla]

No thread.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

There's no thread. I thought this was a comedy show.

[Adam Carolla]

It is. It is. I just didn't know if this was leading somewhere, but I'm working out for.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

A movie that I. That's not announced yet. So then that's why I was.

[Adam Carolla]

You're working out for a movie.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Okay, I thought that was enough of a thread to get the movies.

[Adam Carolla]

It hasn't been announced yet.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

No.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay. But it will be.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Yeah. And it'll come out in the theaters.

[Adam Carolla]

Good. And it's a comedy.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

That's right.

[Adam Carolla]

And it's not one of yours.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

It's an. Yeah, it's an R rated.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, it is one of yours.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

You better smoke weed and you better get. Have a few drinks and come in and have a good time with a lot of people.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Yeah. What. What was the last. I don't know, was it Borat or something?

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Wasn't that great?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it was great. But what was like the last. Coming out to the theater, communal laugh.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Kind of the hangover was after that.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, yeah, that's true.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

I went to the Jennifer Lawrence movie where you see her naked for a full minute. I saw that in the theater.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, that was good. That was funny.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

But isn't it amazing there are that many of these to bring up?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Bridesmaids 2011.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

That was great. That was incredible.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. I think part of it is people Go, well, I want to see Mission Impossible on the big screen, but I don't need to see Melissa McCarthy on the big screen. I can watch her at home.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

I think they, we think that's the issue. But the other issue is they're not putting them out that way as much. You know, like, Will Ferrell is making movies at Netflix now, and Sandler's making a movie at Netflix now. So those are two guys who used to put out theatrical comedies.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Not doing it anymore. And so that's just pulled the numbers down. You know, Todd Phillips is making the Joker, which is a little more dramatic.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

So that's not, you know, there aren't many of us out there left.

[Adam Carolla]

I think we're due. I think you're on the right track because we're very cyclical. We do things like we wear peg leg jeans and that lasts 10 minutes. At some point, someone invents bell bottoms, and then everyone wears bell bottoms and then everyone makes fun of everyone with bell bottoms. And then they go away for 28 years and then bell bottoms come back and we decide we like.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

That's right. We are cyclical. You're right.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. So we're due. We're due for like a renaissance. Like a theater comedy renaissance. Yes. How many days is an average shoot for one of your films these days?

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

35.

[Adam Carolla]

That's pretty tight.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Yeah, it is. But having done so much television, I now can look at a scene and say, I need 18 seconds of that shot. I need a minute and a half of that. I need eight takes. Just much. It's very mathematical. And I know, I'm an Indian. I know. But it's, it's a very, like, it's a mathematical equation. When I set up how to shoot a scene.

[Mayhem Miller]

You're talking like a long day, huh? 12 hour day.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Well, it's a 12 hour day, but you, you know, with, with making a movie, you basically press go and you've got it like a gun to your head and, and a stopwatch. And you've got to get it done. You've got to get it done.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah, it is. I mean, I've shot a few movies in, I don't know, 18 days, 20 days. It's hard like that.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

It's hard.

[Adam Carolla]

It's hard.

[Mayhem Miller]

What are the pitfalls? I'm sitting here with two great directors, two filmmakers.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, I don't have the budget that Jay has, but I can tell you stuff happens sort of fluidly. Like all of a sudden you're gonna go shoot in a restaurant. The guy just goes, yeah, he's not. He changed his mind. There's no more shooting in his restaurant. Then you're like, I mean, we hired a lunch truck and just said, we'll have the same conversation standing in front of a lunch truck and get a lunch truck to go to a parking lot in Sun Valley. Also, when you don't really have a budget, sometimes people just don't show up. Like, just go, where's the guy who's supposed to be playing this part? He's not here.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Yeah, he had to go to work. He had to go to his other job.

[Adam Carolla]

Like, he didn't come. I mean, we would have that guy Ozzy who did the voiceover at the beginning. He just called his neighbor an apartment building and told him to come out and play.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Hey, you want to be in a movie?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, play. Play this part. Stuff you don't think of. Like, we shot another movie in a deli, and the deli's like, look, we're open until 10 at night or whatever it is, but you can have the place from 10 until we open at 6 in the morning. So we're like, all right. So they light the outside so it looks like daylight. And then you can stock the place with extras and waitresses and whatever. And we got the place at 10 till they opened the next day. We shot all through the night. But what we didn't know is at 10 o' clock there's a nightclub next to it that starts the bumping. Starts bumping at 10. That's when they start. The deli ends in the nightclub next door. So through the wall, just dishearing the.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Reverberation, funny during that.

[Adam Carolla]

Of the base coming through the wall while we're supposed to be at deli at noon and, you know, Chatsworth. So it's like a lot of that. I mean, you must have a thousand.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

We, on our first film, were shooting at my old fraternity house at Colgate. It's called Beta. And we're trying to shoot a scene, and the ice cream man is just driving back and forth in front of the.

[Adam Carolla]

What movie is this?

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Puddle cruiser? And we're like, what the hell's going on? This guy. So we go out and we buy a bunch of ice cream and he leaves. Next day, we're shooting somewhere else. Here's the ice cream man. You know, he makes us buy more ice cream, and he keeps extorting us for ice cream. And eventually we're shooting like it's pouring rain. We're shooting back in this fraternity house and this guy parks right in front in the pouring range, is ringing this bell, and we call the cops on him. He goes, you get the. Yeah, you shoot.

[Adam Carolla]

You shoot on the street, there'll always be some homeless guy just comes and walks and sits down in the middle of your shot, you know? And at some point you're like, okay, what's it gonna take?

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Yeah, the producer's gotta roll the 20s and he goes, okay, go and get out.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, you gotta bribe the guy to get up and sit somewhere else. Yeah, yeah. So there has to be a sort of fluidity to it. You also have to kinda know when you got it. Like, you can't come back, can't circle back. I mean, you can pick up things, but it's hard to.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

You gotta see the movie in your head before. Before you start shooting and then recognize that you got it and then move on. Because the sooner you move on, the more time you'll have for the next thing.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, and TV is even faster, right?

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Yeah, it's even faster. You're doing more page count per day and it's. Yeah, it's fast.

[Adam Carolla]

Is it weird walking onto a show that's been established for a while? I mean, you don't do that with a movie.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

It is. It is. Because it's a crew that, you know, they feel like we're the crew and we know how this show goes.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

You have to walk in there the first day and go, we're putting the camera over here. And often the dp, for no good reason, will be like, I don't think we should be on the other side. I'm like, okay, we're putting it here. Because the first. That door is the entryway. That first line is of the scene is a person walking in that door and speaking. And so that's the way we're gonna go. And you stand there and the guy goes, all right, you're the big dog, right?

[Dawson]

That's.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

You have to big dog somebody. And then they go, okay, now we're gonna just let this guy run the week. And you go, okay, now. And then eventually they're like, yeah, it's going great. And then. And then they see the cut, and it's good, and they like you back.

[Adam Carolla]

But you do.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

You do have to come in there and stand tall.

[Adam Carolla]

My. I have these bizarre flashbacks, like moments. Like, I remember when I was doing. So when we shot the Hammer, home base was here. This studio, this warehouse. People show up here. We edit it, like the next room. But this where he dropped the van off, put the stuff. And we just use this as a home base. And my character was this poor, busted boxing coach carpenter guy who had a crappy apartment in the valley with his girlfriend. And at some point they were like, set dressing my apartment. And we're in the. We're in the kitchen, and the set guy put this like $200 stainless steel trash can, like a super high end kick paddle thing. And the thing would pop up. It's made of brushed titanium or something. It's like, that was my guy's trash can. And I go, where'd this trash can come from? And he goes, it's parts to props, you know, whatever. And I go, my character would have a shitty plastic one with a Ralph's bag in it as a liner, not a $400 trash can. My character couldn't afford a $400 trash can. I go, where'd you get this? And he goes, I shops at the home base. That's where I got it. I go, I ordered a really expensive trash can for my house. Could this be that trash can that also got delivered to the shop? And he goes, nope, this is the trash can for the set dress. And I go, okay, I ordered a high end can for my house. I think this is it. I think you got it. And I think she's like, nope, 100% nope. And I was like, oh, yeah, that's exactly what the fuck happened. But in fact, we had to have this big argument about it, which is nuts. We did a scene where it was like a Tonight show and this guy had the number one show on tv. Then my character's friend had the number one TV late night show. And at some point, they were setting the desk for the late night show, and they just had a random mug, like a paisley colored mug, and like an orange mug, like sitting over there. And I said, this would be the Tonight show if they had mugs. They'd have mugs that would say the Tonight show on them. And he goes, well, then we just rented these. And I go, you rent? Well, first off, why'd you rent a mug? I got a thousand mugs. I got mismatching mugs up my ass.

[Mayhem Miller]

Well, these.

[Adam Carolla]

You said in the script needed mugs. I was like, yeah, it needs mugs. But have you ever seen a late night show where they just had random coffee mugs like they were holding? They had the logo on them? And the guy's like, well, we don't have that. It's gonna take a while now. And I was like, okay, first off, I don't know how much you rent mugs for. But secondly, then no mugs because it'd be stupid. Be distracting to have weird colored, unmatching mugs.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Yeah. It's just not how it's done.

[Adam Carolla]

But also, why am I saying that? And one other joke I had there, I said, the Mexican guy said he's got a. Says in the script, he's holding a giant clear bag filled size. It says, the size of a pillowcase filled with peanuts. And then we get there and we're getting ready to shoot the scene, and the guy's got like a little baggie of peanuts. And I go, I go, what is this? And it's kind of a prop joke where he holds it up at the end. I go, it says, pillowcase size bag. A clear pillowcase size bag of peanuts. A giant bag of peanuts. Just give me a little baggie of peanuts. And he goes, peanuts don't come in a pillowcase. Jesus fucking Christ. Really? This is what we're dealing with. And then you always have someone go, look, let's just shoot the scene. Just use the. Who cares? With the peanut. I go, no, no, no, I need a big bag of peanuts. They go, I didn't even know. Is that funny? What's so funny? Just the scene. Just do the scene. You don't need to go. Go get a clear bag. Go get 20 bags of peanuts, empty them into the clear bag. That's what we're doing. Fucking hurry. Just do it now. Well, it's gonna take a long time and we're losing the line. I go, okay, well, you fuck this.

[Mayhem Miller]

Up, what's your gag writing process?

[Adam Carolla]

That has to happen all the time, right?

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

It does. And that's why we have prop meetings in advance and go, let me see it. Yeah, let me see it.

[Adam Carolla]

Or it's like Spinal Tap with Stonehenge.

[Mayhem Miller]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

You have to have that meeting. Yes. Let me see it.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Let me see it.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it's always funny, too, when they don't get the joke, but also they don't want to do the joke, but they just go, that's not funny. Like, who cares?

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

And you're like, that's not their job. Just give me the damn prop. Give me the goddamn peanut prop.

[Adam Carolla]

Were there any shows you walked on to where the celebs on the show were not open?

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Yeah, when I was, like, I was doing Arrested Development when I was. I think I was 25, and I walked onto the show and Jeffrey Tambor, you know, like, the older. The older actors are always mean. Er, because you're just this TV director, as far as they know.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

And so they're. They put you in your place right away.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

And he did, you know, like it was just little. Little fights about rhythm and how to say it, whatever. And then the next day he learned that I was making movies and he couldn't have been nicer. And the same thing happened with Jane Lynch. And I got into a fight over. She wouldn't put a pause in between these two words. And it was clearly a joke that required a pause in between the two words. And I kept going up. You know, Jane, there could be a pause between these two words that might be. Might unlock the funny. And she goes, oh, yeah, pause, that'd be a good idea. And then she wouldn't do it. And I'd go back and I'm like, you know, you know, if you just threw a tiny paws in here. And she wouldn't. She tweeted seven, eight takes. It was just this matter of wills. She was like, I'm not. And she's, oh, yeah, yeah, I'll do it, I'll do it. I'll do it this time. Finally, she does it. And she goes. And I walk over and she goes, yeah, you're right, you're right. It was funnier with the pause. And then we were buddies.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, really?

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

And then we were buddies. I mean, you know, it's. The older ones test you to start because there are a lot of random hack TV directors who maybe they don't know the script or know the characters or know the emotion or whatever. And maybe they're not good at it. So they deal with a lot of people who are like, I'm not doing that note that you gave me.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, Jane lynch was in my movie, but her people insisted she be uncredited. I'm like, thank you for that.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Thank you.

[Adam Carolla]

Chip of the cap.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

She's super funny. I mean, I worked with her four or five times after that.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, she is fantastic. And also showed up, at least for me. I wrote a whole bunch of really specific lingo dialogue, like construction stuff for her, which most people can't digest. She showed up ready to go.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Oh, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Which is.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

She's a killer. Just don't. Just don't, don't.

[Adam Carolla]

Don't tell her to pause. So sorry. Vouch. Vault. The app. Tell me.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

I started an app because what happened was Rotten Tomatoes gave super troopers a 35% fresh rating. When it came out in the theaters, the audience gave it a 90%.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

But I was like, who are these critics? And when you get a 35% fresh rating. A lot of people look at that number and go, I'll skip it. Right?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

And I know, look, we made like 20 million at the box office when Super Troopers came out. But it could have done better. It's because of that damn rating.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

And so for 20 years, I was fuming, stewing, how do I get revenge? How do I get revenge? And eventually I'm like, I'm gonna make an app that's a recommendation app. So that instead of getting reviews from these strange. The reviewers are strangers. Like, have you ever walked up to a stranger on the street and said, hey, what movie should I see? No, that's what Rotten Tomatoes is. Right?

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

You'd rather follow me and go, oh, I like this Jennifer Lawrence movie. Or I like this movie called Companion. You ever see?

[Mayhem Miller]

Oh, my God, the best movie, right.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Companion.

[Mayhem Miller]

Was the Robot Woman movie that we. Oh, that we all needed.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

That's right.

[Mayhem Miller]

But we all saw the other bootleg one. That one got missed. Kind of like super triple error. Oh, there's some kind of rating system.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Companions, good. Right.

[Adam Carolla]

But you.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

So basically, it's like an Instagram of recommendations. You come onto my platform and I go, okay, I like Companion. I like the TV show Studio. I like this cheeseburger restaurant and Burbank. Whatever it is. It's all the things I like. And if everybody is using it, then I go, adam saw this cool TV show. Okay, I'll watch it and sort of. Of taking the. It's sort of like when you look on Amazon or Yelp, those reviews are from Strangers.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

You know, or fraudsters. Right. So this is meant to be. We follow each other and recommend stuff.

[Adam Carolla]

And I think there's an element, like, once in a while. Let's see, once in a while, somebody will come out, they'll come here and they'll, like, walk out of the studio and they'll look up and they'll see, like, they'll see the John Hyatt poster up hanging on the wall, and they'll go, oh, man, I love John Hyatt. He's great, man. I have all his albums. And then I'll go, oh, you know, Titus Welliver did that. He came in and went, oh, love John Hyatt. I'm like, oh, you know music then? Because no one loves John Hyatt. I love John Hyatt. Titus Welliver loves John Hyatt. But it's a little inside, like, ok, if Titus Welliver said to me, hey, man, I got this other band you should check out. I would tend to listen to him because I'd go, we have the same basic taste in music, you know? And so then we started talking, and I was like, oh, another band no one's ever heard of that I like are the Jayhawks. And you go, I love the Jayhawks. Like, of course you do. No chick I've ever met likes, knows what I'm talking about. But you do, because that's what you like. You know what I mean? And, yes, it would be the same for movies and burgers.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Yes, it is. It is. It is the same. It's like, I like this guy's tastes. And so these other things I'm willing to. Willing to listen to and check out.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. Have you ever? I don't. And so I go, oh, look, I like Defending your Life, the Albert Brooks movie. So I know if you like defending your life, then I know what kind of movies you like, and I kind of get it. But I never. The only time I've gotten really was off was I got dragged to a Fish concert by a guy I really respect and I really like, and he loves Fish. And I just sat there for three hours going, out of the fuck's going on.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Was that the one at the Hollywood Bowl?

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Okay. So someone called me and is like, you got to come to Fish. And I'm like, I'm not coming to Fish. I was a Grateful Dead fan. I went and camped out. I dropped acid. I did all of it. And when Fish came around, I'm like, no, they're just trying to. And they did. They succeeded in getting that culture going. But I'm like, I'm in that camp. I'm not in this, and I'm not gonna go start Fish like you did.

[Adam Carolla]

Right? Yeah. Sorry I got dragged.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

And first off, when you go to the Fish concert, it's three hours of not only having to listen to Fish, but the person next to you saying, last time I saw him, they played the whole Quadropheni album. And I'm like, yeah, well, not this time. Not this time. They did the whole Dark side of the Moon, and Walter Becker came out, and I was like, yeah, okay, that was last time. But now, so far, I got nothing. I got nothing of that. I would love a little Quadrophenia. I would love a little who. But we're not getting any of that. We're just getting this. And this was boring as shit. As long as. Shit. The movie. There was a movie. I bet. All right, Dawson, you're going to have to look this, you're going to have to look up the Gods Must Be Crazy. The last time I got really burned was there was a movie called the Gods Must Be Crazy. And it was a really popular kind of culty, early 80s comedy. And everyone just went, oh, you gotta check it out. Oh, it's so good. But it was weird. It was like, I don't know if they liked it.

[Mayhem Miller]

National Geographic Film. And.

[Adam Carolla]

And I remember after having. After five years of people telling me, I need to see this movie, I finally rented it. I sat home and I was like, this movie's a piece of shit. It's not funny at all. Where did all this come. Where did this come from? And then I realized certain people like to pick things. It's like Lou Reed. Lou Reed sucks. But people like going, oh, Lou Reed, yeah, Lou Reed's awesome. Or Radiohead. You gotta check out Radiohead, you know? And they go, you don't even know what you're talking about because you just scared then I'm gonna think you're a dullard. So you pick cool stuff and you keep saying, I'll bet you the Gods Must Be Crazy is much higher in the critics side than the people side.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

For sure. For sure.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, technically, right, but not in spirit. 85 with the critics, which is way too. It's a slapstick, shitty comedy, low budget, but 84 with the people, which is weird, cuz it sucks.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

I thought it was terrible.

[Adam Carolla]

Good.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

I thought it was terrible.

[Adam Carolla]

I watched that movie wanting to choke the 200 people who, for the last five years told me I had to see that movie.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Because you're sitting in that movie and you're watching these dudes with like, Spears, and you're like, I was lied to.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. And they're like running in fast motion like the Keystone Cops and stuff. And you're like, this is fucking shitty comedy. Why were people telling me that now? Like, I remember when Spinal Tap came out, people go, you gotta watch Spinal Tap. And I was like, I did. And I fucking love Spinal Tap.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

I think that's the greatest movie of all time.

[Adam Carolla]

Do you? I do too.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

I don't think there's a better film than that.

[Adam Carolla]

I sat here in this man cave in the back the other day, and I don't. You know, several weeks ago or something, I was just like working around here on a Saturday and Spinal Tap just came on. It was like on the tv, full with commercials and everything. And I just sat down and I just go, I'm watching this. And I couldn't turn it off. Because every scene was like, oh, intravenous de Milo. Or, you know, like the movie. I don't know why. The review scene.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Or like shark sandwich. Shit sandwich. Like, hearing what the reviewers said about their stuff was just. It was all. Everything was great.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

The Black Album.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, the Black Album was great. All the cameo was great.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

The great scene, the greatest. One of the greatest scenes in that movie is when they run into that in the lobby.

[Adam Carolla]

In the lobby, in the lobby. The best. I was thinking about this the other day where like the groupies are running down the hall and they're like, all right, lads, get ready for it. Here it comes. And all the chicks just run past them and they go right to Johnny whoever and he's like, where are you.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Putting the Enormo Dome? I don't know.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, the great. The late great. God, who was that? Johnny Fever from wkrp. From Cincinnati. That actor did everything.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Nesmith, no less. Nesmit.

[Adam Carolla]

No, not that guy. The guy. He played their manager, right? And the manager from Spinal Tap was doing a thing that we've all seen in Hollywood where first the Spinal Tap guys go to talk to him and he starts pushing them off. Yeah, it's a weird Hollywood thing where like the bouncer guy, like that whatever guy's a 26 year old black guy, he never knows who you are, you know what I mean? And you want to say hi to this guy who you worked with or know or did a movie with that you get the embarrassing shoulder, you know, like, hey, bug, bug. And you're like, no, no. And you can tell that he barely remembers who the other guy are. And he's going. The managers are introducing himself. And then there's a great. That scene ends in this great scene where he goes, yeah, we'd like to hang out, get caught up, but we gotta wait in the lobby for the limo, right? It's such a great line. We like to stand and talk, but we gotta stand four feet over and sit down. We gotta go over there and sit. Yeah. Oh, it's so great. Yeah. It starts off with thinking the groupies are coming after him. And then it goes into the guys, barely. Then it goes to that great story where like. Like when that guy opened for us, we had to apologize for him, you know, which everyone always does. Has some old story about some old comedian where that guy wasn't open for me. He wasn't funny at all. They booed. Now he's doing the Enormo Dome.

[Mayhem Miller]

What are some of your other influences? I mean, that's a great movie. That's a classic.

[Adam Carolla]

Best movie all time.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

I think it's the. I don't think there's ever been a better comedy than that. No way. No way. I mean, you know, I saw Eddie Murphy when I was 15. 15. My dad took me to the Chicago theater. We sat in the back row of the balcony.

[Adam Carolla]

The Indian balcony.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Yes. And I was like, we're talking leather jacket. Yeah. It was delirious.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Might have been 19 or whatever he was.

[Mayhem Miller]

Yeah.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

I remember going, that's a job. My God. You know Richard Pryor Live? The one in Long Beach? Not. Not on the Sunset Strip. Is I the greatest of all time? You know, I mean, I obviously love those movies. Animal House, Blues Brothers. You know, I like that John Landis kind of.

[Adam Carolla]

Blues Brothers is awesome.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Incredible. I rewatched it.

[Adam Carolla]

The music, the whole Ray Charles scene with the keyboards, and it's. It's all incredible.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

I met Landis at the Directors Guild of America dinner, and I went up to him and I'm like, hey, man, I just want to say, you know, you were the. You're the best. And thank you for, you know, we kind of borrowed your third act of Animal House and Super Troopers with this sort of Hell Ride kind of thing. And he goes, thank you for admitting it. No smile. No smile. No. Like, good job. No, hey, I saw it. Just thank you for admitting it. I'm like, you're welcome.

[Adam Carolla]

We got the lobby scene from. And what is that actor's name who played the manager for Johnny? What's his name? You'll know who he is in of this.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Seems like Johnny Fame, right? This, this, this.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Howard Hasman. That's the guy. He recently passed, I think. Here it is, sir. I think the walls to get. Listen, where you playing in, Ted? Are you playing here? We're doing the Normo Dome, whatever it is. It's terrific. Big place. You sold it. We really should run, you know.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

How are you, laddy? Great to see you, Terry. Terrific to see.

[Adam Carolla]

Liam. Liam. Ian. Ian. Listen, we'd love to stand around and chat, but we got to sit down in the lobby and wait for the limo.

[Mayhem Miller]

The straight man, he always.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, that's actor's great, Liam. Yeah. You can tell that he doesn't know.

[Mayhem Miller]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, yeah. We carried him. They had to apologize for him. It's perfect. And none of it is over the top. It starts with the girls, then it goes that he doesn't know. And it goes like, swat his arm down. It's all. There's like five different Things going on.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Billy Crystal has a scene with Dana Carvey where they're mimes.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. In the kitchen.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Billy Crystal's like, mime is money. Mime is money.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. It's all great. Everything's great.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

I. But the songs are great, too.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Yeah, they are. They're incredible. We. They played the Beacon Theater. The Spinal Tap guys came and played. What year had to be 92 or 93. And so Kevin Heffernan, who played Farvan in the movies, he and I were like, we're going. So we dress like basically rock and rollers. We put on multiple pairs of bike shorts and stuff them. We put like tank tops, wigs, women's underwear. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Absorbing.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

And we show up, we're like, it's going to be like Rocky Horror. We're the only two guys dressed like that.

[Adam Carolla]

Really.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

And people are like, what band are you in? We're like.

[Adam Carolla]

I gotta tell you. Blues Traveler played like the Irvine Whatever place three years ago, and John Popper invited me up on stage to do Big Bottoms with him.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Wow.

[Adam Carolla]

Thrill. Thrill of a lifetime covering big bottoms.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Tuck pouch bun cakes. My girl's got em.

[Adam Carolla]

The greatest line of that is. He goes, well, a couple things. He goes, I met her on Monday. Twas my luck. He says, Twas.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Twas my lucky bun day.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

You know, I love her each weekday, each velvety cheek day. You know, that whole thing is great. I don't know why. It's. There's a. There's there's certain little weird lines in those songs that always.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Always make. When he goes, he goes. When he's singing about hell hole. He goes, he goes, hell hole. You know where you stand in a hell hole.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

That's right.

[Adam Carolla]

Folks lend a hand in a. Folks lend a hand in the hellhole. I don't know why. Hell hole.

[Mayhem Miller]

Which makes me laugh.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Oh, got this thing. Yeah. And I rehearsed, man.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

I bet.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

You don't want to get up there.

[Adam Carolla]

And get up there cold and screw up. Big bomb. There may be a tape on someone's computer of that. I'll tell you what, you can look for that, Dawson. We'll take a quick break and we'll do some news right after this. O'Reilly Auto Parts. Yeah. Might change the theme a little. Love those guys. They're in the business of keeping your car on the road. O'Reilly Auto Parts offers friendly, helpful service and the parts knowledge you need to maintain and repair your vehicle. Always use O'Reilly. Always been my neighborhood store that I would go to get all my parts and different pieces for all the cars I've worked on over the years. So whether you're a car aficionado or an auto novice, you'll find the employees at O'Reilly Auto Parts are knowledgeable, helpful, and best of all, they're friendly. Stop by O'Reilly Auto Parts, do it today. Or you can Visit us@o'reillyauto.com Adam that's o'reillyauto.com Adam Home title lock well, if you're a homeowner, you need to listen to this. When's the last time you checked on your home title? That's the legal proof you own your house. If you're like me, the answer is never. The problem is, in today's AI and cyber world, scammers are stealing home titles and your equity is the target. I was displaced from my home during the fires. Still am over here in Southern California. And scammers can take advantage of people in that position to steal their titles. Here's how it works. Criminals forge your signature on one document, use a fake notary stamp, pay a small fee with your county and boom. Your home title has been transferred out of your name. You won't even know it's happened until you get a collection or foreclosure notice. That's why you need to stop whatever you're doing and find out today if you've already been evicted. Am I right, Dawson?

[Dawson]

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[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Stream all the movies and shows you love for free on Pluto tv. Say what now?

[Adam Carolla]

Showtime.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

That means drama is free. With heart wrenching stories from love and basketball power and Greenleaf.

[Adam Carolla]

In this family we live by the.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Spirit and laughter is free. With gut busting comedies like Key and Peele, the neighborhood Everybody hates, Chris and Boomerang. Watch all the hits all for free from all your favorite devices.

[Mayhem Miller]

Oh my God, I love it.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Feel the free Pluto TV stream. Now pay. Never.

[Dawson]

It's time to check Adam's voicemail.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Hey, Adam Carolla. Just a regular blue collar guy here. Just saying thank you for calling out all the crybaby and the nonsense. I literally was losing my mind. And people like you are helping all the regular guys who are quiet just doing their own thing. Appreciate it. See ya.

[Dawson]

You can leave us a message at 888-634-1744.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, we got the vouch vault. You go to vouchvault.com is that. We go to check out the app.

[Mayhem Miller]

In the app store.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

No, well, it's in the app store, but we're. We're doing, like, a crowdfunding thing for the app. We, you know, it's like a second round of financing, so we're trying to raise, like, a million bucks. I. I crowdfunded super troopers, too, years ago. Back then, though, if you donated, you couldn't. You couldn't get a piece of the financial action. That movie made money. And basically we gave them T shirts and whatever.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

This time now they've changed the rule. So if you. If you invest in a. In this whatever, this crowdfunding vouch vault, you can. You can. When we eventually sell it, you get. You'll get. You'll get a profit.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, so you can buy into it?

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Yeah, you can.

[Adam Carolla]

Versus, yeah, get a producer's credit and a T shirt.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

I mean, we're giving away, like, if you. You put certain amount of money, you can have dinner with me, or I chug a beer against me or play golf against me.

[Adam Carolla]

Foot race.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Foot race. Like, there's. There's things you can do, you know, but you know, it's on @vouch vault.com. you just, you know, you can put 100 bucks in. That's.

[Adam Carolla]

It's a great. It's a great idea. Yeah, it really is. All right, I think we found that. Do you find that clip? So.

[Mayhem Miller]

Cameraman with a Christmas recital, you're wearing the nicest shirt you got.

[Dawson]

You know, the only thing you really need to know before doing that song is it's bum cakes, then it's mud flaps.

[Adam Carolla]

Bum cakes and mud flaps. That's right. I start singing, I think.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Wow.

[Mayhem Miller]

Ah, you're having a blast.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Rolling.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, what a dream.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

How did he know you wanted to do that?

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know. He just said, john's a friend, and he. I, I said, oh, if you're out, I'll come out and see you guys and hang out, you know, because he's a great. He's the greatest guy in the world. Just John Popper from Bluestrap. So fun. He's fun. He's got, like, a fun sense of humor and stuff. So Like, I always knew he had a, always had a great sense of humor. And so he said, well, if you're coming out, get there early and then we'll sing Big Bottom. I was like, all right, why not? Why not? All right, what do you got in the news?

[Mayhem Miller]

First up, former president Joe Biden, diagnosed with aggressive form of prostate cancer. The cancer has metastasized to the bone, according to the former president's personal office.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it's weird news. I mean, not weird news, sad news, but also sort of like people are questioning the timing because all this stuff's coming out. And then people are like, is this a distraction or what did you learn about this? I mean, listen, here's the problem in general, kids, are you listening? The problem with lying is that once you've established as a liar, then whenever you say something, people go, I don't know, like it's a personal thing too. Like, I know people, I just know people who don't lie and then I know people who do lie. And so when you're on the people who does lie list, and then they call you and they go, oh man, I can't make it to dinner tonight because I have laryngitis. You go, okay. And then you hang up the phone and then somebody goes, tim has laryngitis. And you go, well, we don't know. We don't know. Cuz he's on the liar, right? He's on the liar list. If you're not, if you never get on the liar list, then whatever you say, he's got prostate cancer, Joe Biden lies and has been lying the entire fucking time. So now everyone's sort of like, well, he's got prostate cancer, I guess, but do we know or does he know or when did he know? He says he just found out, but I probably found because he lied. And this is what you'll do, you'll get on the liars list. Once in a while I get accused of lying and I'm like, I always go like, fuck you. I'm not on, I never did anything to get on your liars list.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

You get accused of lying.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, first off, women think everyone lies. Women are like Middle Eastern people. They just assume everyone's lying. You know what I mean? Like all the time. And that's not part of our culture. We don't haggle. That's not, that's not how we do it. You know what I mean? I think women think people lie more than men think people lie because women.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Are lied to to get in their Pants.

[Adam Carolla]

I think women, women in general, women deal in feelings more than men. And so first off, they're moms. So it starts off with the, you know, you gotta finish your broccolini. Cause there's kids in Africa who would wanted this broccolini, but you. Okay, they start lying early. Start lying with kids, you know, about stuff. And then kids start. They don't brush their teeth, but they wet the toothbrush and put it back. And then the mom feels the toothbrush, but then she smells it. Moms are little Sherlock Holmes running around the house.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Lie detectors.

[Adam Carolla]

They're lie detectors. So they're lie merchants. Like, they deal, they ship and receive lies. That's not part of my world. Like, I'm friends with Dr. Drew. Dr. Drew doesn't lie. I never lie to him. Like, we just have conversations. We don't tell people their haircuts look good when they look like shit. We don't tell them.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Yeah, you just say nothing.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, say nothing. Women tell me how good they look or how they packed on £20, but it looks good on them, but it doesn't look good on them. They're feelings merchants. And when you're feelings merchants, you have to lie.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

That translates into them thinking that men are liars. Is that what you said?

[Adam Carolla]

You said whoever. Okay. Whatever you deal with, you then graft on to humanity.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

You shouldn't lie. That's the bottom line. There's some. A whole lot of lying that went on in the Democratic side. And there's a whole lot of lying on this Republican guy.

[Adam Carolla]

And I'm like, everyone lies.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Everything he says, I'm like, like, might be a lie.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, no. Trump lies, but he lies like Commander McBragg.

[Mayhem Miller]

What?

[Adam Carolla]

Find the opening of Commander McBragg. There was a cartoon from the 60s or 70s called Command Had a good tune. No, the difference between, like, Biden and Trump is Biden. You know, like when someone goes, trump, how's your golf game? He goes, I'm a scratch golfer. People go, yeah, right, right. He's 20 handicap or whatever. Biden is not supposed to be that guy. Biden is supposed to be sort of that guy.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Supposed to be that guy.

[Adam Carolla]

And he turned out to be that guy as well. It's a good theme. Commander McBrag, we'll play you the beginning of it.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Looks like the gods must be crazy.

[Adam Carolla]

He fights monsters galore and then offs for still more for so says the brag of McBride when on the hill the marines plant a flag they may be led by Commander McGragh with a cannon in hand, he can beat any band. Or so says the bride of McGrag is in fencing and fighting and roundtable knighting and slaying of dragons too. He would always make up stories about victory and how great he was.

[Mayhem Miller]

I get it.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

This is a good example of our president. You're right.

[Adam Carolla]

His name is Commander McBragg. But everyone saw him coming. Like they'd go, that's Commander McBragg.

[Mayhem Miller]

Well, Commander McBiden has cancer.

[Adam Carolla]

Now that would be a good name for Trump, Commander McBragg. Although I think I'm only person who get the reference. But yeah, he would start at the beginning. At the beginning of every episode. He'd be like sitting in his office, smoking his pipe, talking to his man servant.

[Mayhem Miller]

I remember.

[Adam Carolla]

And he. He'd go, did I ever tell you the time I saved humanity with one hand tied behind my back? And his little man servant would go, quite. Commander McBride. It was like a. It was just a stupid. He was a braggart.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

What it was.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

I can't believe I missed that one.

[Adam Carolla]

You missed Commander McBride?

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Never saw it.

[Adam Carolla]

I think I would have loved it. I love the theme song.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, Sorry.

[Mayhem Miller]

All right, next up, New York City's number one recidivist. Just can't stop stealing. Even after a mind boggling 134 arrests. Yeah. Guy's name is Eric.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay, here's the whole thing at a certain point. I mean, here's my whole thing. Society at a certain point is just like a society. Like we just don't have enough individual time for everybody all the time. Like once you get arrested more than 50 times, we just gotta put you away and we go, like, no hard feelings. But you understand, there is a society, we're trying to run it. We can't use all our resources on you.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

134. My God.

[Mayhem Miller]

Yeah. Yeah. The story is really wacky. Like this guy has been in and out of jail, prison since 2000. The story that I'm getting is just that he's a crack addict and that his whole deal is doing small shoplifting because there's no real repercussions for it for just small shoplifting. So he goes, gets busted, gets out the next day, gets busted again, gets some crack, gets busted, goes back in, goes back out. And that has been his life since 2001.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Feels like it would be cheaper as a society if we just. Just gave him the crack.

[Mayhem Miller]

That's what I was thinking. I'm like, just give this guy crack. Then he didn't have to steal. It would it would.

[Adam Carolla]

Ultimately, it wouldn't be fun.

[Mayhem Miller]

Yeah, the.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Not a great social program. I agree. I agree.

[Adam Carolla]

I would.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

In this case, he's just.

[Adam Carolla]

I. I would. We need some sort of place. I mean, we talk about it a lot, like Devil's island for Pepe On. Like, this is a place to put people. Like, look, you can go. You can make your own crack or not, but whatever it is, we can't have you in our society.

[Mayhem Miller]

Yeah, you start wrecking. I mean, they have done something like that in Portugal, I believe. They had addicts. You know, they reduced street crime completely because everybody just can get their dope at a hospital, so.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, yeah, but I used to dope. I would do a standup bit on this thing every once in a while, which is an example. I always say, look, other countries, like, I grew up with kind of hippie progressive mom and hippie progressives, they love Europe. And they always do this weird thing, like in Europe, sexualities. Women walk around topless. They never get groped. It's fine. The kids drink wine with dinner when they're seven. You know, it's all. Europe is always some utopia, especially when you lived in United States, sort of ugly American shit. And Europe was always evolved, you know, and they. I mean, there's something to that. You know, they go, people, they have a siesta at noon. They don't work till they die. They take long summers off, and they enjoy the food and outdoors and whatever. And so it was always like in Europe. And so they'd always do this thing where they go, in Europe, in Strudeldorf, they've legalized prostitution, and now drug abuse has gone down. And the women all go to a clinic and get tested and get certified, and then they pay taxes on it. It's like this big win, win, win. Or they hand out clean needles and they have safe zones to shoot in. And I go. And I'm generally like. I used to always be like, yeah, yeah, right, yeah, we could do what they do in Europe. Europe, they don't have animals. We're animals. In the United States, we're animals. There's bees, there's honeybees, and there's Africanized killer bees. We're like killer bees. And so when we go, well, San Francisco's always our little European experiment. Like, okay, they're gonna have judgment free injection zones over there. And you can get clean needles out of a vending machine. And then it's like 10 seconds later, total shit show. It's a total shit show because we're Animals, they're not animals over there. They can work it over there. There needs, even amongst that, there needs to be a certain amount of compliance. You know what? We can't have a pizza delivery robot go down the street without someone picking it up and chucking it in a lake. You know what I mean? Like we can't have nice things because we're animals. We just need zip ties and pepper spray because we're fucking animals. They can't do it. They can do it in Strudeldorf. Like it works over there. I get it. That ain't San Francisco, right?

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Right.

[Adam Carolla]

It always turns into a shit show immediately.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Portland, Oregon became a very dangerous place once they legalized these hard drugs, right?

[Adam Carolla]

What they did. So Portland Oregon is just implemented what they do in Strudeldorf, which my mom always wanted imported here. Like why don't they just do what they do over there in Europe? It works out perfectly. And I'm like, we have Africanized killer bees here. We're fucking animals. We're horrible.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

We are the animals.

[Adam Carolla]

That will work. If you have honeybees, honeybees could do this. We don't have that here. So unfortunately. Because I like that idea too. Except we can't pull it off. It just turns into Portland.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

So what, this guy's just going to keep on stealing? Is that the plan?

[Mayhem Miller]

Yeah. I don't know. He's doing a stint because he did one to three year sentence for attempt of burglary conviction. He's got like major first degree robbery, 10 years in 2001. But as of now he's a free man. So yeah, he can still steal.

[Adam Carolla]

Indians aren't into that much crime, are they?

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

It's not our main business.

[Adam Carolla]

No, I have a little pickpocketing, maybe a little pickpocket.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

You know, I, I, I stole a, I pickpocketed a rubber shark at Disneyland.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh really?

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

When I was three or four or whatever it was.

[Adam Carolla]

With your foot speed, I'd imagine you'd be grabbing a lot of stuff.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

You think? Right. And I went back to the hotel and foolishly started playing with that shark in front of my parents. And my mom's like, did you buy that for him? And of course my dad didn't buy it for me. He would have if he just, if I just asked, he would have bought. And my mom made me go down and give the shark back and I'm weeping and that was enough to turn me from crime.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I have a weird recollection of like stealing a shrunken head or Something at a Disneyland, too. Because that stuff was so tantalizing when you were a kid. Those tchotchkes, the stuffed animals or the shark or the shrunken head.

[Mayhem Miller]

High level.

[Adam Carolla]

And it was also so out of reach for my family financially, which is weird because this is a plastic tchotchke. You know, like, why. Why would you not consider buying this? But it wasn't. But yes, I remember stealing, doing that too. And I did tell my mom once I stole, like, some batteries or something from the save on. And she said the same thing. She goes, you gotta. We're gonna go return those now. And then I bullshitted her. I told her I'd made it up or something. She was too lazy to do it anyway, but that was her. I found $50 on the ground of the Cherry Hill Mall in New Jersey. $50 bill. And my mom said, we're turning into lost and found. And I said, it's a $50 bill. First, it's more money than I've ever seen. And then secondly, who claims a bill, it's not a wallet? She's like, we're turning it in. We turned it in.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

It's the right way to teach a child.

[Adam Carolla]

I agree.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

On reflection, the person you turned it into got $50 richer.

[Adam Carolla]

The woman who lost the dollar bill. Sorry, the $50 bill. Showed up to our house a week later.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

You gotta be kidding me.

[Mayhem Miller]

And gave you 100.

[Adam Carolla]

Heavy set, woman of color said that $50. I'm a cleaning maid. I dropped that bill. I couldn't believe they had it to check it. Went to lost and found, got the $50 bill, came to my house, said, I got a $10 reward for you. Fucking mom made me split it with my sister.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Oh, my God.

[Adam Carolla]

I was like, hey, bitch, give her five bucks out of your wallet. She didn't have money either. But I mean, this is my money. This is my. Found the money.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

This is the hero's reward.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, this is my vig.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

I love that story.

[Adam Carolla]

But I returned a bill, and a woman claimed a bill and came to my house and gave me a reward. That was a different America. That was an America before the bees were Africanized to kill her. Although she may have been a little Africanized, but, yeah, you get what I'm saying.

[Mayhem Miller]

All right, hey. Next up, scientists turn lead into gold for the first time, but only for a split second.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Mayhem Miller]

In a breakthrough to make medieval alchemists envious, scientists at Europe's large haldron collider have successfully transformed lead into gold.

[Adam Carolla]

You know, I don't Know, I guess we use gold for a lot of stuff. The thing that's funny is gold is soft and doesn't really have an industrial application. Whereas diamonds are great. Diamonds are great for cutting stone and stuff like that. Diamonds have tons of application.

[Mayhem Miller]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Gold, they used to fill teeth. Gold conductor. It's a conductor as well in audio. But they don't. I don't feel like we need. We're probably done.

[Mayhem Miller]

Electronic components have some. I think. I think they have some gold in it.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah. I'm just saying we don't. I feel like we can live without gold at this point. But diamonds, tons of industrial stuff.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

I mean, gold is just jewelry. Right. It's like people who wear jewelry, they like gold.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't trust people that like gold.

[Mayhem Miller]

Guys, you're missing the whole story that they turned lead atoms into gold. You guys are just fixated on gold. But the fact that they changed atoms into now for milliseconds, but. And just picograms they've made and they goes right back to gold. But somehow, some way they spin these atoms around and they turn to gold.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm done being impressed with science because it's so far out of my realm at this point.

[Mayhem Miller]

I thought you'd be puzzled.

[Adam Carolla]

After what's going on in outer space and all this stuff. It's so far. I'll tell you something. You ever talk to somebody who has no grasp on what you're saying at all, so they can't really be impressed by it? Like. Like I do a lot of building stuff that's impressive. But you kind of would have to know a little bit about building to be impressed. If you know nothing about building, that's just like talking to a five year old.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Sure.

[Adam Carolla]

And they don't have any.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

I hear you talking about saws and hammers and screws and I'm like, okay, yeah. I heard you talking earlier when I was in the waiting room talking about some kind of jackhammer. And I'm like, okay, yeah, but that's.

[Adam Carolla]

What you have when you talk to people. Like if you talk to a dude who's got a rudimentary understanding of building. Like, I put a bar basically under my swimming pool at my house and put portholes and stuff like that. And I was at a.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

You mean like a alcohol bar?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Fantastic.

[Adam Carolla]

I was at a lunch and I was like, with a couple of ladies in this guy. And the ladies were like, yeah, I don't know. And the guy was like, what? And I was like, yeah, Well, I drill well, how'd you do the portholes? How'd you design into the side of the pool and all this stuff? And I was like, yeah. And he goes, oh, my God. Yeah, I just did my pool. But how'd you do. And all of a sudden, I was like, why are you so interested? I realized he had some understanding of it and thus was impressed versus a native just going like, all right. The rocket goes in the sky and the people go down. Like, I don't even know what to do with it. So a little rudimentary baseline understanding actually makes you appreciate things more.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

I think that, like, you know, I always think, like, what if I were dropped in, like, on an island with a. Like, shipwrecked, Right? You're like, I couldn't invent the cell phone. I wouldn't know how to, like, filter water. Like, this is a moment right now where I could learn a whole bunch of important things in the event that happens, and yet I'm not doing it.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. So a second language. You could learn to play the harp. Like, it's crazy how much shit.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

I don't learn how to build a shelter out of palm leaves. Like, I could learn that today. And then when I get there, I'll be like, I'm the guy, and I'd be the king of the island.

[Adam Carolla]

Unless I was on the island. Then you'd just be making snuff films.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

I guess. I couldn't build a camera. That's right.

[Adam Carolla]

I hope everyone's got a good memory.

[Mayhem Miller]

Look, the researchers, what they did, okay, Instead of smashing the atoms right at each other, they just. They made them just miss each other. And researchers explained that when this happens, powerful electromagnetic fields around the atoms can cause them to change into different elements.

[Adam Carolla]

Again, it's so far beyond my pay grade.

[Mayhem Miller]

Well, what I'm saying is the atoms are going around in a circle opposite ways, and then they graze them right by each other.

[Adam Carolla]

I know.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

And they turn gold.

[Mayhem Miller]

And because. Yeah, because they're going so fast, there's so much momentum, they. That for some reason, yeah, they will change into the neck. Because if you look at the periodic table, lead is, like, right there under gold.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, it is?

[Mayhem Miller]

Yes. So if you change the electrons in the atoms, it will turn to gold, but only for some milliseconds.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

See, when they can, like, use that machine to make my dick bigger, then I'll be listening. Yeah, just a little bit. Just an inch and a half.

[Adam Carolla]

I had a piss the other day. I used the front. I used the leg, because it was just closer I mean, it was halfway down my thigh, but my cock was there already as big as Corolla's dent. I just used a leg. All right, Jay, let's give you a plug vouch. Vault app is where we can go. We're crowdfunding, but you're in on it. You get a taste.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

That's right. Vouchvault.com and you can donate. It's called reserve at this point. You donate 100 bucks or more and you can be part of the company.

[Adam Carolla]

And Super Troopers 3 is. And where's that at?

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

We're discussing. It's in discussion.

[Adam Carolla]

We're not shooting yet.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

No, no, no.

[Adam Carolla]

All right.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

I'm also at the Mic Drop Comedy club in Dallas this weekend.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, you are? You don't stand up there.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, I remember you telling me before about that was in your past, but I didn't know you were.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

No, I've been doing. I tour quite a bit.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, girly.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Quite a bit. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

That's great. And you do straight stand up.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Yeah, they're basically like. I write jokes and insert them into stories. That's basically just stories and stories and stories with jokes built into them. Most of them are true.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. That's great.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm being bellflower doing stand up. That'll be this Saturday. Doing two shows there and then Tacoma and then Spokane. So you can go to AdamCroll.com for all that. Where do we go? Do we go? To find out your schedule? Touring schedule.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

You go to my Instagram and click the link link. It's there.

[Adam Carolla]

Go there.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, so Till next time, AM4J and Mayhem saying Mahala.

[Dawson]

Pick your phone, leave us a voicemail. The number is 888-634-1744. And then get tickets to see Adam Corolla at AdamCoa.com.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Stream all the movies and shows you love for free on Pluto tv. Say what now?

[Adam Carolla]

Showtime.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

That means drama. Free with heart wrenching stories from love and basketball power and green leaf.

[Adam Carolla]

In this family we live by the.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Spirit and laughter is free with gut busting comedies like Key and Peele, the neighborhood Everybody hates Chris and Boomerang. Watch all the hits all for free from all your favorite devices.

[Mayhem Miller]

Oh, my God, I love it.

[Jay Chandrasekhar]

Feel the free Pluto TV stream Now pay never.