Blues Traveler + Penn Jillette (Carolla Classics)

Summary

Adam Carolla Show – Blues Traveler + Penn Jillette (Carolla Classics)

Episode Date: August 22, 2025
Guests: Blues Traveler (John Popper & Chan Kinchla), Penn Jillette, David Wilde

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Overview

This Carolla Classics episode revisits some of the Adam Carolla Show’s most memorable moments featuring guests from Blues Traveler and Penn Jillette. The show, staying true to Adam’s signature style, combines sharp observational humor, pop culture and society critiques, and genuine conversational banter. The episode pivots between Adam’s comedic rants, insights into personal responsibility, commentary on politics and celebrity, and fun musical games and stories with Blues Traveler in-studio.

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Key Discussion Points & Notable Segments

I. Opening Rants & Life Lessons

• Hollywood & Authenticity in TV Hosts
  • Adam and the gang riff on Ty Pennington’s carpentry credentials, paralleling Hollywood’s tendency to favor style over substance when hiring for reality shows.
  • Adam Carolla: “They'd rather have a quote unquote expert than someone who has expertise.” (03:50)
  • Anecdotes on the disconnect between "expert" personas on TV and actual trade skills.
• Responsibility and Kids as Narcissistic “Retarded Goblins”
  • Adam tells a story of losing his keys due to his daughter's actions, using it as a springboard for a reflection on the journey from self-centered childhood to adult responsibility.
  • “Having kids in your house is like unleashing retarded goblins to run around.” – Adam Carolla (07:33)
• Metaphors for Maturity and Society
  • Comparing teaching kids not to lose keys to society’s struggle in cultivating adults who look beyond their own self-interest.
  • Adam and the team touch on how many people never evolve past the “all mine” childhood phase, drawing broader sociological lessons.

II. 60 Minutes Congress Corruption Segment (16:03–35:00)

• Congressional Ethics & Political Slush Funds
  • The show listens and responds to a 60 Minutes investigation examining how U.S. Congress members exploit leadership PACs, nepotism, and legal loopholes for personal gain.
  • “Let’s just admit it. That’s how we’re laid out. That’s our DNA… Everyone’s kind of looking out for themselves.” – Adam Carolla (17:54)
  • Notable cases discussed: John Edwards using campaign funds for a mistress, Maxine Waters, Grace Napolitano’s self-dealing loans, and Ron Paul’s family payroll.
  • Adam and Brian Bishop share outrage at the lack of meaningful repercussions and joke about the “sun baking” Californian politicians’ brains.
• Select Quotes
  • “These leadership PACs have been described by a lot of people as sort of political slush funds.” (News Reporter, 21:51)
  • “She loaned herself $150,000 and over twelve years took in $228,000 in interest. And that’s legal.” – Adam Carolla (28:02)

III. Listener Calls & Comedic Storytelling

• Barbecue Redemption & LA Food Renaissance (34:00–39:00)
  • A caller apologizes for doubting Adam’s favorite BBQ spot, launching a funny digression about LA's evolving BBQ and pizza scenes.
  • Vibrant stories about memorable restaurant experiences, including Adam dining with comedians and “waiting in line with fat dudes.”
• Adam’s “Chip Away” Wisdom (41:30–45:45)
  • Discussion about productivity; Adam advises to “chip away” at big projects, using time stuck in LA traffic or downtime to make progress.
  • “Just chip away. You’ll get the project done before you know it.” – David Wilde (42:43)

IV. Blues Traveler Joins – Music & Absurdist Fun (47:57–63:00)

• Band Banter & Musical Games
  • John Popper and Chan Kinchla from Blues Traveler arrive, riffing about M&Ms as currency (callback to Adam’s metaphor), WWII trivia, and road stories (e.g., driving 158mph through Montana with a trunk full of guns).
  • “M&Ms were invented by the army in World War II so that you could have energy and not get candy all over your trigger finger.” – John Popper (48:34)
  • Adam relates a story about Sonny (his son) crying when meeting John Popper, leading to lighthearted exchanges about intimidating children and showbiz personalities.
• Harmonica Hijinks
  • Popper tries to “improve” various pop songs with harmonica: Duran Duran’s “Union of the Snake,” Rod Stewart’s “Passion,” Rihanna’s “Diamonds,” Alanis Morissette’s “Hand In My Pocket,” and ends with Dylan’s “Maggie’s Farm.”
  • “This is the key of shit.” – Brian Bishop, joking about song keys (52:55)
  • “I don’t have a wide enough face [for that Alanis solo].” – John Popper (58:23)
• Discussion of Song Meanings
  • Adam provides an impromptu explanation of Dylan’s “Maggie’s Farm” as a protest against the oppressive folk scene, sparking more music history jokes.

V. News & Culture Roundtable

• CeeLo Green Court Case & Drug Culture (63:59–72:55)
  • News that CeeLo Green was charged with furnishing ecstasy, not rape, and discussion about real vs. meme news.
  • The gang shares personal stories about being (or thinking they were) drugged in bars, with John Popper hilariously recounting taking mushroom chocolates and being featured vomiting on TMZ after drinking whiskey with a bug in it.
  • “Next time you’re in Florida, look at what you’re drinking!” – John Popper (70:19)
• Tour Bus Stalkers & Celebrity Privacy (78:17–84:39)
  • LA sightseeing tour vans routinely stop at Adam’s home, prompting discussion about the odd realities of fame and the prevalence of celebrity stalkers.
  • “When you say, ‘Hey, look at me, look at me!’ you can’t wonder why people are looking at you. But at your doorstep, you’re not asking anyone to look at you.” – John Popper (83:55)

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Notable Quotes & Timestamps

• On Hollywood’s ‘Experts’
  • “[They] prefer someone who’s an ‘expert’ over actual expertise.” – Adam Carolla (03:50)
• On Congress and Human Nature
  • “Let’s just admit it… That’s the way we’re laid out. That’s our DNA.” – Adam Carolla (17:54)
• On Kids and Responsibility
  • “Having kids is like unleashing retarded goblins to run around your house…” – Adam Carolla (07:33)
• On Leadership PAC Abuse
  • “These leadership PACs have been described by a lot of people as sort of political slush funds.” – 60 Minutes reporter (21:51)
• On Productivity
  • “Just keep chipping away… you’ll finish before you know it.” – Adam Carolla (42:43)
• On Harmonica Outplaying Pop Songs
  • “This is the key of shit.” – Brian Bishop (52:55)
• On Drug Stories
  • “I inhaled quite a bit of that whiskey and drank the bug and just spat it all over the air.” – John Popper (69:06)
• On Celebrity & Privacy
  • “When you say, ‘Look at me!’ you can’t wonder why people are looking at you. But at your doorstep, you’re not asking anyone to look at you.” – John Popper (83:55)

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Notable Moments and Segments

• [16:03–35:00] – In-depth commentary and reaction to 60 Minutes’ exposé on Congressional slush funds, nepotism, and loopholes.
• [47:57–63:00] – Blues Traveler in-studio: Harmonica games, music improv, and road warrior tales.
• [63:59–72:55] – News segment, including the CeeLo Green case, stories about being (or not being) secretly drugged, and Popper’s infamous bug-in-whiskey story.
• [78:17–84:39] – Discussion of LA sightseeing tours, the weird cost of celebrity, stalkers, and public access to private lives.

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Tone & Style

The episode keeps true to Carolla’s style: fast-paced, brash, off-the-cuff, but with moments of sincerity and insight. Comedic exaggeration is blended with real-world commentary, while guests inject their own colorful perspectives, particularly during musical and drug story tangents.

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For New Listeners

This episode is a microcosm of the Adam Carolla Show formula:

• Hot takes on popular culture and politics
• Anecdotal stories that bridge humor and social commentary
• Robust, playful guest banter (here, especially with John Popper and Penn Jillette)
• Recurring gags, running bits, and inside jokes (e.g., “retarded goblins,” barbecue redemption, “key of shit,” tour bus stalkers)

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Summary Table of Main Segments

| Segment | Timestamps | Topics/Content | |-----------------------|---------------|--------------------------------------------------------| | Opening Rant & Kids | 03:50–15:00 | Hollywood TV hosts, childhood narcissism, parenting | | 60 Minutes Congress | 16:03–35:00 | Political slush funds, nepotism, government ethics | | Listener Calls & Food | 34:00–39:00 | BBQ stories, changing LA food scene | | Productivity Tips | 41:30–45:45 | “Chip away,” using downtime efficiently | | Blues Traveler Live | 47:57–63:00 | Songs, harmonica jams, road stories | | News/Celeb Stories | 63:59–72:55 | CeeLo Green, drug stories, privacy & LA tour buses | | Stalker/Fame Talk | 78:17–84:39 | Stalking, fame, privacy, celebrity quirks |

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This episode is quintessential Adam Carolla—irreverent, insightful, musically playful, and always a little bit wild.

Transcript

[Adam Carolla]

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[Penn Jillette]

Welcome to Corolla Classics. I'm your host, superfan Giovanni. This is the podcast we play the best moments, highlights and fans like the clips from all 16 years of the Adam Corolla Show. We have a companion podcast titled Coral Classics available and free through Podcast one Premium. And if you'd like to find ad free archives for the Adam Carolla show, The Adam and Dr. Drew show, as well as exclusive access to the brand new podcast Beat It Out. Check out Adam Carolla's substack adamkarolla.substack.com and if you'd like to request the clip, please email us classicsamcorolo.com now on to the clips coming up first we have Adam Carolla show 1190 featuring Blues Traveler. Not just John Popper. This time he brought along a fellow band member, one Adam's quite familiar with. Blues Traveler would frequent Loveline with a recurring bit where they were playing instruments, pretending Adam and Drew were actually doing it as they were jamming with John Popper. There's actually Jones Band playing instruments. Fans are still fooled to this day. Tell people that.

[Brian Bishop]

No, you can ask Adam.

[Penn Jillette]

They'll tell you it's a bit. Here's a recording of Adam saying it was a bit like, oh, it was so great. Can't believe Adam's so good on guitar. They're joined by Allison Rosen and Brian Bishop. This one's from 2013.

[Brian Bishop]

It's a gem of an episode.

[Penn Jillette]

Hope you guys enjoy.

[Brian Bishop]

Getting on in good times. John Popper, Chan, his guitar player. Chan and I hope I won't screw this up. Kinchla try. You don't want to screw up his name. He's a huge man. He dwarfs John Popper, which is not easy. Both in studio. Going to come in in a couple of few. They're going to be Blues Traveler playing live at the El Rey Theater out here in Los Angeles tonight. You cannot go wrong with Blues Traveler Live. Chan and John played our Children's hospital Charity a few months ago back in Malibu and it just unbelievable. I listened to the CD over and over again. Good to see Allison Rose Hello, Adam, Carolla and bald Bryan. Why all the hating? I mean, what's going on, man?

[David Wilde]

Van Luchin wanted that oldie but goody on Twitter.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, that was. Let's see, that was. What's his name? Why all the hating? I mean, what's going on, man? Ty Pennington.

[Adam Carolla]

Pennington that called in yesterday.

[Brian Bishop]

Why all the hatings? That was Ty Pennington. When I was asked, I think I was asking him what he knew about carbon drain.

[David Wilde]

No, it was actually. It was him on another radio show calling in because they were just talking shit about what either a bad person he was or a fake or whatever. And he just called up and was.

[Brian Bishop]

Like, why all the hatin'?

[David Wilde]

I mean, we used it many, many times after that.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, it drove me nuts because they said to me many years ago when they were gonna do that show, that home makeover show, they said they want you in there and they want you to be the guy to do this show. And I said, good. Cause there's a million home. I mean, here's all you need to know about Hollywood. There's a million home improvement shows. There's one celebrity host slash comedian who actually knows carpentry. That's me. And I'm never approached to do one. Except for tomorrow. All right, I'm going, man. But I mean, it's like literally, in 15 years, 20 years in this business, no one's ever really approached me to do a home improvement show.

[Adam Carolla]

They would rather have a quote unquote expert than someone who has expertise.

[Brian Bishop]

Yes. Or a guy looked good in a choker with a shirt off or whatever it is. So they called me in and said, you're gonna do this show. And I said, oh, that sounds good. Cause I like doing, you know, improv, and I like swinging a hammer. And they said, oh, no, Ty Pennington's gonna be hosting the show. You'll just be one of his worker. I probably heard just. They said, you'll be part of his team or something like that.

[David Wilde]

And I said, right hand man to his right hand man.

[Brian Bishop]

Why don't I want the guy who' the conductor of the band and they want you to play third chair saxophone. And you're much better than that guy, said, no, I'm not going to do that. And then later on, I always knew he didn't know anything about carpentry. And they were like, but they don't know anything about carpentry. So when you don't know anything about carpentry, you don't know who knows anything about carpentry. And he came on the Loveline. I wasn't a dick. I just asked him a couple of questions, and he couldn't answer any of them, which meant he didn't know anything about carpentry.

[Adam Carolla]

What kind of questions?

[Brian Bishop]

They were questions that, trust you me, like, believe you me, we're not extraordinary complicated or anything. Anyone can say, look, I can say, oh, I know cars. I know cars, I know cars. And then you go, oh, yeah, give me the firing order on an E36 BMW. Well, I don't know that. That's obscure. Why all the hate? There's plenty of stuff that you can be an expert at. Anything, and then somebody can go ahead and stump you by just going to the Internet immediately. But then there's basic, straightforward. You know, how many tires, right? No. Yeah. Like going, okay, I'm an expert on NFL trivia. Who holds the. Who holds the record? What receiver has the most receptions? You know, if you don't say, Jerry Rice and I'll even give you two other names or. So you could tell me what you like. But if you don't know and you can't posit an answer, you don't know anything. And this was very basic. What is the layout? Stud layout. 16 on center. How high is the door? 80 inches. 6 foot 8. Residential. Just real basic.

[Adam Carolla]

I mean, even I know this.

[Brian Bishop]

You know it from being around me. Yes. I mean, what's going on, man? Real basic stuff.

[Adam Carolla]

Strike plate, butt, hollow core.

[Brian Bishop]

That's right.

[Adam Carolla]

Is it base shoe or is it quarter inch round?

[David Wilde]

It's all good stuff.

[Brian Bishop]

You can use either. But quarter round is very amateurish in this broadcaster's page.

[David Wilde]

It was a rhetorical question, obviously.

[Brian Bishop]

Obviously. All right, so that's what happened. There. Now, a couple of interesting fun facts involving keys and kids and what we should all strive to be. I woke up this morning with no car keys, no house. I was in the house. Everyone was out of the house, but my car keys were gone. And the reason my car keys were gone is because Molly, my pup, was heading to the vet early this morning.

[Adam Carolla]

And she took them.

[Brian Bishop]

She ate? No, she was going to the vet this morning. My daughter decided she wanted to text mommy and she needed my phone, which was in my car. So I told her, when she smacks, she doesn't come up and try to wake you up with sweet nothing. She smacks you. My daughter's like. She kicks. Like, kick you. Like when a Mexican farmer wants a mule to go back to work. You know, it's that kind of thing. It's Not a light jostling. It's a whack in the back of the analogy. Actually, yes, it's perfect for what she.

[David Wilde]

Wants out of you.

[Brian Bishop]

That's what she wants out of me. So she says, give me your keys, I'm going to the car. Where's your phone? So she goes and gets my phone and she shoots mommy a text. I don't think anything of it. Mommy comes home, drops Molly off at the vet, takes the kids into school. I then get up to go to work this morning and there's no keys anywhere. Car locked. She did lock the car.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm impressed that a 7 year old can shoot someone a text.

[Brian Bishop]

I learned that four months ago. Four months ago. And I will forget it four months from now. I have a little window where I can text, so look out, world. So she's going to shoot mama text. And she does, but I don't know where my keys are. And then I realize it's anywhere because it's her. Having kids in your house is like unleashing retarded goblins to run around your house. And the big problem with the retarded goblin is when you can't find something, you don't know if it's you who put your sunglasses somewhere or the retarded goblin got hold of it and you always blame it on the retarded goblin. So it's this weird little thing where it kind of gets up in your.

[Adam Carolla]

Head, like, right, am I losing my mind?

[Brian Bishop]

And I always put my keys here, but they're not here. But could they be in the pocket of my sweatpants? So I'm looking all over the house. I know she's done something with the keys. I assume it's in her pocket or her backpack or whatever it is. I'm searching all over the place. And then I call my wife and she says, well, her and Sonny, when I came home, were playing down the hall, down, down toward the garage. Did you go look over there? And I said no. I looked in the entry area and I looked all around, looked in her room, I looked in mama's room and everything, but I didn't look down the hall. And I went and looked down the hall and sure enough, they were just sitting on a little bench where she was playing around with Sonny. And it made sense, she came back inside the house, she walked over to her place, she threw the keys down and started playing with her whatever. And that's where they ended up. Then I grabbed my keys now running late, and hustled over here to do a podcast with Dr. Drew and open the refrigerator. There were Dr. Drew's keys sitting in the fridge. As we discussed before, he didn't want to forget his hard boiled eggs and celery that he brought.

[Adam Carolla]

When it was flu vaccines, it made a little more sense.

[Brian Bishop]

Now it's hard. But here's the deal with protein. He doesn't want to forget anything he brings in here and puts in the fridge. And it's very easy to walk out of the studio, turn right, go to your car, especially when you're always running late like Dr. Drew, and take off and forget your hard boiled eggs and celery. Which I told him, Matt, finally, I was in no danger of consuming because it did not have the word sloppy or Joe in it.

[David Wilde]

He'll be safe as kittens here.

[Brian Bishop]

That's right, Max. Pata as well. But that was now. Then I realized, all right, now we have an extreme in keys. And then I thought, you know, we all start off like Natalia. How fast can we get to Dr. Drew? I know a lot of guys that aren't at Dr. Drew yet with keys or anything. I mean, the key's a metaphor for. We all start off as kids being just crazed narcissists that want to throw everything everywhere and never do anything. And then parents, teachers, coaches, folks like that. Occasionally cops sort of beat it out of you. Society is supposed to go, no, that's not okay. Here's what you need to do with studying, homework, going to the dentist. Like all the things that when you're a kid, your parents make you go to the dentist. When you're an adult, you theoretically have to make you go to the dentist. There's no 80 year old mama making sure you go to the dentist. But that's okay. If your parents did a good job with you, you'll take yourself to the dentist.

[Adam Carolla]

I remember when I got my license and I was driving myself to high school thinking, I can't believe this is what I'm doing with my freedom.

[Brian Bishop]

Yes. Driving myself. Yeah, like turning yourself in like a mafia crime boss. Like turning themselves in to the feds. So it's a very interesting thought. Yeah, you should be heading to the reservoir to get high. So there were the keys in the fridge and there was Natalia. And then I thought, all right, now Natalia's seven. She completed most of the steps. She opened the car, she got the thing, she locked the car, shut the car and locked it, came back into the house, keys made their way back in the house. There's that one little last step where she Slaps them back onto the entry.

[Adam Carolla]

Instead of putting them in the refrigerator.

[Brian Bishop]

Right. Like the great Dr. Drew. So I just thought as a society, I think we're not doing as good a job with that as we did in the past. I feel like that was the parents.

[Adam Carolla]

Job with becoming responsible.

[Brian Bishop]

Just that we all start off is horrible. We all start off as basically, here's how we start. I have 10 M&Ms. You have no M&Ms. Would you like to give Susie one M&M? Doesn't seem fair that you have 10. I. These are. I want them all. I'm eating all of them. We all start off with socialism. Hey sonny, where'd you get. I found $40 in your backpack of daddy's money. What were you doing with it? I was keeping it safe for you. We all start off as liar, narcissist, thieves essentially. Right?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[David Wilde]

That's what a kid is.

[Brian Bishop]

That's what a kid is who doesn't give a fuck about any other human being on the planet because their brain.

[Adam Carolla]

Hasn'T developed enough to even have the capacity to understand their effect on someone else.

[Brian Bishop]

I honestly, if you said to my daughter, I'll be fair to her six months ago, would you rather have an American girl doll or 100,000 Africans die? She'd be like, I'll take the doll. Most kids, that's how kids are wired. That's how we all are born.

[David Wilde]

Do I witness them die? We wouldn't get the details. Do I have to have a direct hand to them dying?

[Brian Bishop]

We wouldn't get into the gory details. But either way that's how we're all wired. They just like. If you ask most kids if they wanted a big wheel when they're 5 versus 1000 people they didn't know dying somewhere around the world. And still again, I feel like there are guys walking around that are this way now for sure.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, definitely. Yeah. No, when you were telling the story about the mms, I think a lot of people don't ever get beyond that. They never get beyond, this is mine. Go fuck yourself.

[Brian Bishop]

It's our job to get them past that. Otherwise we don't have a society. The more people go, these are my M&Ms. That's when society just sort of, just sort of starts dying on the vine.

[David Wilde]

Speaking of kids and keys, my parents worked when I was young, middle school and I lived very, very close to where I went to school. So I would come home and I had to let myself in. I didn't have a set of keys because I was A child, you were a latchkey kid. There was a hide a key in the back and there was a specific notch for it and like where the gas meter was or something like that. It's probably still there. So go ahead and get to my parents house. But I would take the key, go around front, let myself in, and I would almost always leave it just on the counter. And my parents are like, you have to put it back. That's an emergency key. That's a hide a key. And they kept at it for. I had severe adhd, but I kept at it for months and eventually I was trained to put it back. You just gotta keep at it with the kids. This is where it goes, goes on the entryway, whatever it goes in the bathroom.

[Brian Bishop]

Then eventually, whatever your allowance is, we're gonna hold back three bucks because you left the key on the counter again. And the kid gets trained and then he starts applying that to all f facets of life. Obviously it's a metaphor. The key in the refrigerator. Drew probably does that times a thousand with a thousand different aspects of his life. And that's what you teach your kids. I was watching, by the way, 60 Minutes. And I'll tell you what, let's get that right, because I have the feeling that everybody, we're pretending like we're not this way, but we are this way. Don't play it yet, Gary. And the people that we ask to not be this way the most are the politicians. And oftentimes they are this way. It's human nature. It's just everyone's kind of looking out for themselves, wanting, giving themselves again. It's based, it's this. Somebody backs into your car in the parking lot, puts a dent in the fender, and you're outraged that they didn't leave a note. Next week you back into somebody. Do you leave the note? Which is it a two way street with all this stuff? That to me is the ultimate maturity. You can't have it. You can't have it both ways. The 60 Minutes. And we'll. Now, here's the thing. We're just grabbing it right off their website. So we'll pot up the sound and pot down the sound. But this was Sunday night. 60 Minutes. It's a very interesting. Something I found interesting. Go ahead and play it, Gary.

[News Reporter]

The government shutdown that finally ended on Wednesday night furloughed 800,000 government workers for the better part of two weeks. But there was one group of federal employees that was able to maintain the lifestyle that many of them have grown accustomed to. Members of Congress, with all the talk about their irreconcilable political differences, we wanted to see if they shared any common ground. And we found some weird. For example, there seems to be a permanent majority in Congress that's completely satisfied with the current state of campaign financing and congressional ethics. And members of both parties have institutionalized ways to skirt the rules. Most Americans believe it's against the law for congressmen and senators to profit personally from their political office. But it's an open secret in Washington that that's not the case. As the saying goes, the real scandal in Washington isn't what's illegal, it's what's legal. Georgia Senator Saxby champions.

[Brian Bishop]

I'll tell him when we'll try to pot it up a couple times. It's basically these guys get their campaign money and go on golf vacations. And while they're on their golf vacation, they have a discussion about their next election and thus it's covered. They have these slush funds and they use the money, and it's the money that was contributed to their campaign and they use it for all sorts of nonsense. You can't buy, you know, titanium swizzle sticks with it, but it'll cover just about any entertainment. And then there's a lot of nepotism as well. You hire family members and my brother.

[David Wilde]

Has a steel working company, he's going to get the contract to make. Blah, blah, blah.

[Brian Bishop]

This is a lot of. I'll hire them as an employee in my campaign.

[David Wilde]

Oh, like working for me.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, and by the way, so you pocket the money, the things that they make illegal, if you do run a company, essentially is not, is perfectly fine for them. And all these so called loopholes are always talking about, you know, it's get rid of these loopholes. There's nothing but loopholes here and cash for them. Which is to say they're human beings. Let's just admit it. That's the way we're, that's the, that's the way we're laid out. That's our DNA. I'm just saying let's, let's stop pretending it's not that way. Like just everyone's going to do the right thing. Left to their own devices, we can't even get the leaders to do the right things. And there's a couple that are just egregious. But the thing is like 15 minutes long. And I'll tell you when you can pot it up. I'll pot it up a little.

[News Reporter]

Let's see where we're at Senators to figure out the distinct advantages of having a leadership pack with no restrictions.

[Brian Bishop]

Since they weren't around when the ban on personal use was put into place, they're covered by the loophole, and they can be used for literally anything.

[News Reporter]

Over time, the leadership PACs that were created as a way for congressional leaders of both parties to raise money and distribute it to their members have evolved into something different. Today, nearly every congressman and senator has a leadership pact, not just the leaders. And they're used to solicit contributions from friends and supporters in order to advance their political agendas, their careers, and, and in many cases, their lifestyle. Like a political slush fund.

[Brian Bishop]

That's exactly what it is. It's a political slush fund. Over time, we've had them, they've been outlawed, they spring back in new guises, and this is the latest guise. You can pot it down for a second, and then guess who gets to vote on whether they should keep these things or not?

[Adam Carolla]

They do.

[Brian Bishop]

They do. Guess how they vote.

[David Wilde]

Must be close.

[Brian Bishop]

Either way. All right, you can pot it up.

[News Reporter]

Again for members of Congress.

[John Chan]

You can use them for babysitting, paying for babysitters. You can use them for paying for car service.

[Brian Bishop]

You can use them for travel.

[John Chan]

Nobody's really checking to see whether this.

[Brian Bishop]

Is personal or legitimate business expense.

[News Reporter]

Back in 2006, North Carolina Senator and presidential candidate John Edwards used his leadership pact to pay his mistress, Brielle Hunter, $114,000 to make a campaign video. Republican Congressman Andrew Crenshaw of Florida spent $32,000 hosting a tour of California, California wineries for a group of contributors from the defense industry, which he has some oversight of.

[John Chan]

You know, look, they're not having leadership.

[Brian Bishop]

Pack meetings, all right, you can pot down again. You should. There's a great Janet Napolitano one, I should say Grace Napolitano coming up, which is awesome. And then later on, when you find out about who spent the most on nepotism, top two. California. California, by the way, is horrible at all this stuff. I don't know why. I just always expect us to be better. I always picture this stuff to be out of Chicago or New Jersey or something like that. Yeah.

[David Wilde]

No, we're equal opportunity flush funders.

[Brian Bishop]

Yes. And I know I pick cities and states.

[Adam Carolla]

Do you think we're stupider? Sometimes I wonder.

[Brian Bishop]

I think the sun does. I think the closer to the sun you get, the more your brain gets baked.

[David Wilde]

I think they raise more money out here, though, which. Which is probably why they are able to spend more on their hiring, their.

[Brian Bishop]

Whoever this is, this is. Well, we'll pot it up.

[News Reporter]

Investigation by the House Ethics Committee for misuse in campus.

[Brian Bishop]

I love this interview.

[News Reporter]

To advance the career of his daughter, he agreed to talk to us outside.

[Brian Bishop]

What about this trip to Scotland? Golfing trip. I, I followed all the rules, met the standards, and there is a matter pending for the House Ethics Committee. Under those rules, my obligation is not to the.

[News Reporter]

We talked to the other committee. They said they have no problem with you talking to us about this.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, as my understanding of the rules are that when there's a pending matter, I'm supposed to keep it confidential and so are they. So I'm going to follow those rules.

[News Reporter]

These leadership packs have been described by a lot of people as sort of political slush funds.

[Brian Bishop]

Agree with that. You know, I think we should take a look at having clear rules, what they can and cannot be spent for. I. Before that. He's for it. They never get around to it.

[David Wilde]

He's for taking a look.

[Brian Bishop]

He wants to take a look.

[Adam Carolla]

See if you have a guilty looking face. Don't give an interview.

[Brian Bishop]

That's right. I love it where he's like, he goes, I'd love to talk about this, but it's a pending matter and I can't. Oh, they said it was fine. Well, I still can't talk. Yeah, but still, once I hear it.

[David Wilde]

From them, then maybe we can talk.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, but this is going to be great with Grace coming up. And also Maxine Waters, who is basically Aunt Esther if anyone wants to know. A crazier Aunt Esther, who I spoke about. I spoke to at Bill Maher Show Politically Incorrect over a decade ago about the morning after pill. And she told me that the science wasn't in on it yet. And I said, oh yes it is. You should be preaching about this. And she was like, we're looking into it. But the science. Politicians are mostly arrogant cuz they think they can just give you one answer and then you'll just sort of move on.

[Adam Carolla]

They just seem to have no compunction about lying forcefully.

[Brian Bishop]

I'm now realizing that there's a lot of adults who lie, but they don't call it lying.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, they call it being political or being careerist.

[Brian Bishop]

I've talked to many people where I go, did you pay that person for this or that? And they go, I'm pretty sure I did. And I go, no, you didn't. And they go, oh, okay. And they start writing a check. And I'm like, if you're pretty sure you did.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, you wouldn't start writing a check.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. You'd go, let me look into my thing. What month was that? Cause I think I did. You wouldn't immediately.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it's like there's a lot of, can I get away with this?

[Brian Bishop]

I talk to a lot of adults where I go, you didn't do this. And they go, yes, I did. And then I go, no, you didn't. And they go, okay, well, let me find my checkbook. And you're like, did they ever believe it in the first place? All right, we'll pot it back up.

[News Reporter]

They tend to be illegal, but really aren't if you know your way through the loopholes. Melanie Sloan is the executive director of Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington, a small group that tracks campaign expenditures. As we said earlier, it's against the law to use campaign funds for personal use. But Sloan says it's perfectly acceptable to use campaign funds to hire your wife, husband, children, grandchildren, and in laws.

[Adam Carolla]

While there are anti nepotism rules that prevent them from hiring their family members on the official staff, they can indeed hire them on the campaign payroll. And do.

[News Reporter]

And they do.

[Adam Carolla]

And they do.

[News Reporter]

Sloan says there are at least 75 members of Congress who have hired members of their family to work on their campaign and paid them with political contributions. Until Republican Congressman Ron Paul of Texas retired last year, he seemed to be the leader with six family members on the campaign payroll. Daughter, daughter's mother in law, three grandchildren, and a grandchild in law, paying them a total of $304,000 over the past two election cycles.

[Brian Bishop]

Down on us.

[News Reporter]

Baby Paul only ranked third in total payouts to family members behind former Republican Congressman Jerry Lewis and Democratic Congresswoman Maxine Waters, both of California. For some congressmen and senators.

[Adam Carolla]

Absolutely. It's a family business. They have members of their family on the campaign payroll, and they also will often have members of their family who are lobbyists and lobby on issues in which the member may even be working.

[David Wilde]

Hold on a second, Adam. You'd be a great, you'd be a great congressman. Never hire a family member. There'd never be any nepotism. Conversely, Kimmel will be the worst congressman.

[Brian Bishop]

My sister wanted to do hair on my sitcom. I wouldn't let her do it.

[News Reporter]

Daughters, a total of $130,000.

[Brian Bishop]

Congressman, I like when they interview people from through bookshelves and stuff.

[News Reporter]

I just wanted to ask you about both your daughters are on the campaign stat. I mean, the figures that we have.

[Brian Bishop]

According to the reports are 75 down. This part is sort of boring.

[Adam Carolla]

It seems like how did they get in this building? Like it feels like it's kind of their sort of ambush.

[Brian Bishop]

I love the look on a rich old white guy's face that has the. My fucking assistant is getting so fucking fired as soon as you leave. Like how did you get the fuck in here? Yeah. Yes. And that's gotta be the worst. Hey, I'm from 60 Minutes. Just want to talk to you about whether you own a transmission shop or you're congressman that is your worst. It's never to pay you a compliment. We talked to an elderly couple in the Winnebago. They are thoroughly satisfied with your workmanship.

[Adam Carolla]

Thank you. 60 Minutes.

[Brian Bishop]

Now coming up is a great one and I don't know why it drove me nuts because it was Napolitano who was sort of playing the race sex card here. But it's the classic sort of stupid or liar not answering the question. You can pot it up again, we'll get to it.

[John Chan]

But Congress has created this domain that.

[Brian Bishop]

Allows them to decide whether something is ethical or whether something is good.

[John Chan]

And it's another example unfortunately where the.

[Brian Bishop]

The rules that apply to the rest of us don't really apply to members of Congress. Looks like a super in January of.

[News Reporter]

Louisiana introduced a bill to try and rectify the situation. It would prohibit members from paying relatives with campaign.

[Brian Bishop]

Somebody's trying to put an end to this.

[Penn Jillette]

That is a loophole, an area of.

[Brian Bishop]

Abuse that we must close.

[News Reporter]

So far Senator Vitter has not found a single co sponsor and no one is the least bit surprised.

[Adam Carolla]

Everyone in Washington knows this goes on. It's well known and open secret. The problem is people in Ohio and New Mexico have no idea what's going on here in Washington.

[News Reporter]

Sloan says another way congressmen can personally benefit from the use of political contributions is by making personal loans to their campaign funds, then charging above market and sometimes exorbitant interest rates. Sloan's organization found at least 15 cases with the worst offender being Democratic Congresswoman Grace Napolitano who charged her campaign 18%. How much money did she loan her campaign?

[Adam Carolla]

She loaned herself $150,000 and over a 12 year period took in $228,000 in interest.

[Brian Bishop]

I think everybody would like that investment. I think so, yeah.

[News Reporter]

And that's legal.

[Adam Carolla]

And that's legal.

[News Reporter]

After weeks of trying to get an interview with Congresswoman Napolitano, we finally cornered her outside a meeting of the Hispanic Caucus. She told us that as a woman and a minority banks wouldn't lend her money. So she had to withdraw $150,000 from an investment account to lend it to her campaign. You loaned money to your campaign and.

[Brian Bishop]

Then charged the campaign 18% interest.

[Penn Jillette]

That's correct.

[Brian Bishop]

To be able to do a lot.

[Penn Jillette]

Of the things that I had to.

[Brian Bishop]

Do were not feasible unless I did what I had to do. And so at that point, that was what was recommended, and that's what I went for.

[News Reporter]

I don't think there's anything wrong with loaning your campaign money, but then collecting 18% interest from your campaign.

[Brian Bishop]

That's what I'm charged. Would you go out and get a.

[John Chan]

Loan and not get charged interest?

[News Reporter]

It's still 18%. $228,000.

[Brian Bishop]

Out of here. You can pot it down. She didn't really profit. I mean, she still lives in the same house. It's 230 grand. First off, when people give that answer, you don't expect. If you borrow money from a bank. Bank lends. Expect them. Yeah, you get 2.5% or 3% or whatever the fuck it is. You don't get 8. No, he hit 18%. That's why we're here. If you gave yourself 5%, maybe even just kept it to 10%, we might not be here. But you gave yourself 18%, sweetie, and you couldn't get a loan because you're a woman and you're a minority.

[Penn Jillette]

But did she.

[David Wilde]

Like, was she a nobody who ran for Congress, or was she already a politician who was running for Congress? Like, I find it hard to believe that no bank would lend a politician.

[Brian Bishop]

First off, her last name's Napolitano. Like, or Napolitano. Her name is Grace Napolitano. I don't know if a bank knows what she is. She is Italian. Is her husband Italian?

[Adam Carolla]

I would have assumed she was Italian, but it seems that she's not.

[Brian Bishop]

She's Latina, but her Napolitano's gotta be Italian, right? Did she marry this guy?

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. Is she related to the other Napolitanos in politics?

[Brian Bishop]

I don't know. What do you think the bank said? Excuse me, sweetie, you can take your Hispanic surname and your fallopian tubing and hit the brick. Because, you know. And by the way, that's how banks work. They find members of Congress or they find representatives, and they discriminate against them because they all know they'll go quietly into the night. Was that what. Here's what I'm saying. We fucking hire these people, work for us. I mean, here's how. First off, that's insanely stupid, what she said.

[Adam Carolla]

It's stupid. It's so Stupid. It's condescending. All this shit reminds me of, you know when the Grinch is caught with the tree and he's like, oh, there was a bulb and it was whatever. It's just like, only a child would believe it.

[Brian Bishop]

But the notion that you're gonna play the sex race card is either stupid or liar. There's no way a bank turned you down with your 20 years experience. I don't know what her Flores is her main name. I guess they spotted that on her application. What is Gary, what is her. How many years experience does she have? And banks are looking to loan money to the Flores of the world who are gainfully employed because it makes them look better when they open up the books at the end of the year.

[David Wilde]

Here's the hole in her story. She loaned her campaign how much money? One hundred and something.

[Brian Bishop]

Thousand dollars bucks. She had.

[David Wilde]

She had the money. She had $150,000 to her name to lend, which means she had a plus column in her bank account. She had 150,000 in the plus column. So she wasn't destitute. She could probably have very easily gotten a loan just with the collateral she had.

[Brian Bishop]

I just like the idea that the liquid collateral, she couldn't get it because she's a minority, by the way. That's her whole stock and trade. She's there. That's a card she plays. That's a card she feeds her constituents. There you go, constituents. You can't get a loan because you're a minority. You can't do anything because you're a minority. You're a female and a minority. Strike two. You'll never get anywhere. They just keep feeding them that poison. It gets them angry and it makes them not want to try. If somebody said to you whatever the setting was, work, school, you'll never get ahead because you're this or that, then you'd go, fuck it, I'm putting my pencil down, I'm going home. Like I'm not going to try. They don't realize how much damage they do. And then they don't realize how fucked up and stupid they are that it's worked into their grain. It's just their answer when somebody comes at them. I'll bet you if a drunk driver turned the corner and the guy was texting and heading at them, they'd scream, I'm a minority. And a woman turn around before they fucking got ran over. Like that is just their knee jerking reaction. You're gonna come to me, you wanna get an answer out of me? Slow down. I'm calling you a racist and a sexist. And then they keep going and then they do this stupid math of what about the 18%? Hey, banks charge interest. Yeah. You're charging three, four, five times as much as they charge. Fucking idiots.

[David Wilde]

She's talking to 60 Minutes, which is a smart show. Like she has to assume she's talking to a very smart person.

[Brian Bishop]

I don't think these people are smart at all. At all. And I think they're fucking liars, alright? Anyway, that's why I'd like to shrink the government a little bit. I want less of the graces of the world. Enter or enter. All right, let's see. We've got questions, you guys. Someone wants to apologize for me. Then there's motivation. There's Lincoln. There's long commute to work. Let's see. Oh, have you guys. You guys. I guess you guys don't. Maybe you don't drive as far and you're running as late as I am, but I do a lot of driving where it's like me and Mike August on a Saturday going to Irvine to sign bottles at the BevMo. We're trying to haul ass. The person in the diamond lane is not keeping up with the rate of traffic. And I'm always like, why are you in this fucking special lane to the left that's supposed to be there to zip past everybody when you're not keep. And you just pass that person and then there's another person in the left lane and they're not. What is that?

[David Wilde]

LA is not a good place for hauling ass.

[Brian Bishop]

No.

[David Wilde]

If you want to get somewhere fast.

[Brian Bishop]

Yes.

[David Wilde]

You're not in the right place.

[Brian Bishop]

All right, I gotta move. Hey, James, how you doing? What's going on, James, 30 from North Hollywood. What's happening? I called Loveline, I don't know, nine years ago or so. Yeah, I remember you, James, 21, from North Hollywood. Yeah, that's it. Jimmy, 21, from North Holland. And I made a couple of disparaging remarks about your favorite restaurant, Dr. Hogley. Wobbly Tyler Texas barbecue. Yeah, yeah. And you went off on, I don't know, a 10, 20 minute rant about how I'm an idiot and I should go back to New York and I don't know any better. Yeah. Yes, it's since become one of my favorite restaurants in Los Angeles, so I felt I owed you a call.

[Penn Jillette]

I've been thinking about it for years.

[Brian Bishop]

It's been haunting me as well. James. Every time the phone rings at home, I say this Is my wife? Don't answer that. Could be James with an apology. Park felt.

[David Wilde]

Well, now you can put this chapter of your life to bed.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, I had a great moment. This place is like old school barbecue in the middle of Van Nuys. Not in the greatest neighborhood ever.

[David Wilde]

Yeah, we should explain to the rest of the country, especially maybe the south and the Midwest, that good barbecue is few and far between out here. Yeah, it's hard to find really good barbecue.

[Brian Bishop]

It's coming up.

[David Wilde]

It is, but it was nine years ago.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, and before this. And what's happened is a lot of people have relocated. A lot of people. It's basically followed the same trajectory that pizza has 20 years ago. No decent pizza in LA. Everyone sort of heard that. Now there's decent pizza and decent barbecue because people went, hey, fuck that, there's a vacuum here, let's fill it. Nice free market stuff one time. And this is just big old, you know, Fred Flintstone style servings and like, you know, waitresses named Flo call you hun and stuff like that. I had a funny moment. There was one time when me and Chris Darga. Chris Darga was a groundling. He's one of the Vikings from the Capital One commercials. He was in my.

[David Wilde]

Did he play in the movie?

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, he was my foreman in the Hammer and he's an old friend of mine and he and I were about the. We were. We started a construction company but neither one of us really wanted to work that much. But we're the only two people in the company, so we used to just go out to these jobs and kind of work a little bit and just sort of talk about when we were going to eat lunch and we were out in Van Nuys doing some job and it was like, you know, you start at 7, 7:30 in the morning and then we're both so burnt out and shitty at that point. We were like. It was like 10:45. And I was like, you ready to do lunch? He's like, yeah, I'm ready to do lunch. And I go, we should do hoggly wogglies because it's up the streets down Sepulveda Boulevard. And he said, yeah, let's do hoggly woggly. And I said, geez, I wonder what time they open. And anyway, I said, I bet they open about 11. If we leave now, we'll probably just be getting there right about opening. It was a great scene, a great tableau. Empty everything. Empty parking lot. One car in the parking lot. We pull up, we walk around the front. It's like 10:57. The door's locked. You know, you're literally waiting for them to turn that cardboard sign around that says, you know, open with the clock, smiling on it or whatever. 11 to whatever, 10 o' clock at night. The only other person is waiting is one lone fat dude. Like, this was some sort of Norman Rockwell joke calendar. Like, super fat guy with his hands held up, looking through the glass, just sitting alone. This is exactly like that thing where you go, I wonder what fat dudes do when I'm not watching. This is exactly what I picture them doing, just sitting in front of I placed with a pig on a neon sign with a spatula, moving and just sitting there alone, waiting, waiting to get into that place that is Dr. Hoggly Woggly Tyler, Texas. Jimmy and I used to always go there for either one of our birthdays. And then I think we used to have it catered. We'd do the man show and all that stuff back then.

[Adam Carolla]

I like that it was a doctor.

[Brian Bishop]

Whenever. Whenever you think that, like, man wasn't supposed to. You know, when you talk to those vegans and they're like, well, you know, we're really not supposed to. You know, you have that feeling of putting your order in with the combo brisket and both ribs, the beef and the short ribs and all that kind of stuff. And you do that. You do that thing where that basket of smoking hot, barbecuey, tangy goodness comes, starts heading toward your table. And the reaction, the physiological reaction that goes on in your mouth and in.

[Adam Carolla]

Your brain, what's happening right now, just hearing about it.

[Brian Bishop]

And as that basket, like, starts coming toward your table, if it ever veers off and then moves, by the way, that's all I would do if I worked at one of those places. I'd take every time someone put in a huge like, oh, give me the hot links, give me the brisket, give me the whole nine yards. I would find whatever fat person was at the emptiest table and I would head toward them and then go like an airplane. Watch the person clutch their heart. Single tear roll down their bed cheek.

[Penn Jillette]

Bugs Bunny.

[David Wilde]

And they have the smoke, the scent, you know, Singer come hither.

[Brian Bishop]

Yes. No, no. Yeah.

[Penn Jillette]

The sirens start floating towards the beach.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. You literally start having a bizarre. The only thing that sort of rivals it is a sort of sexual thing that goes on mainly with teenage boys. But I mean, this sort of feeling of like. So when someone then goes, you know, you're really not supposed to. I go, yeah, fucking tell that to my mouth. And My brain, as it starts to get to mess, and I may have gone too far. All right, quickly, let's see. Adam Motivation. All right, let's see. Let's hop up to line three. Andrew. Hey, Adam. Love the show. 27, Cincinnati. What's going on? I just love the show. Thank you. You talk frequently on your show about your motor and what keeps you driven. I guess. Is that something you feel like you're born with or something that was a result of the environment you grew up in or. Where do you think that comes from? It comes from you. It comes from, first off, internalizing everything. Don't externalize. Just go, it's my fault. It's not going to happen again. Number two. Number three just comes from being sort of an atheist and going, hey, I'm only going around once. I want to do something. The other thing I've realized is I was telling the porcelain punisher, Fondelier and Mike, what's his nose back there? I said, listen, fellas, we're sitting around. We're deep into this Paul Newman documentary now, right? And I'm sitting there and I'm going. I said, let's see. We got Mario Andretti last weekend. We got Leno, we got Patrick Dempsey. We got a lot of other race car drivers sat down with a lot of great luminaries. We were in lime Rock, his hometown, his home track in Connecticut. We sat down with Bob Sharp, his team owner, and we've sat down with Michael Andretti, who drove with him or was one of his drivers when he owned an indie team and all that kind of stuff. And I just realized it feels like a dream, like you don't remember what you did last Friday, so you may as well sit down with Mario Andretti and get an interview. And here's what I mean by that.

[David Wilde]

What does that mean?

[Brian Bishop]

It means I want to do a. What are you talking about? I want to do a documentary on Paul Newman's driving. If somebody said, go ahead and clear out two months and get to work on it, I'd go, I can't. It's too much. It's overwhelming. I don't have that kind of time. I can't clear it out. But if somebody said, look, when you're in New York, when you're done with your Caroline shows and you're done doing Howard Stern on Monday, instead of going right to the airport, schedule a flight for 8 o' clock at night, swing through Connecticut. Yeah, it's out of the way. Yeah. It's a pain in the ass. Yeah. You'll be tired. But you know what? You'll be asleep on that plane before you know it. And then you'll be back in your bed in la, and you won't even really remember doing that. It'll be on film. We'll have it. When you're going to Laguna Seca to do the Rolex historics, go corral Jay Leno and Patrick Dempsey and sit down with them in a room for 20 minutes each and knock this thing out. Just go get these little bits and pieces. Before you know it, you blink your eyes. Three months have gone by and you have all these great interviews and all this stuff assembled. It doesn't even feel like anything. But you'll have a piece of work, you'll have something to do. You know it. For writing the book, I was gonna.

[David Wilde]

Say one of the best pieces of advice I picked up from you was tangential to this, which is just chip away, chip away.

[Brian Bishop]

Just keep chipping away. I told. I just got off the phone.

[David Wilde]

You'll get the project done before you know it if you just keep consistently chipping away.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, I told Mike Lynch, I just got off the phone with him because we're working on the book. And I just said, mike, I told him, chip away.

[David Wilde]

We'll have a book in no time.

[Brian Bishop]

Chip away. Get chipping, motherfucker. No, I said, I'm going in the next upcoming weekends, I'll be doing this contractor show, goddamn Dana Point or someplace like that.

[Adam Carolla]

You asked them to find places close to your house.

[Brian Bishop]

I know I did, and that's why it was my fault, because we're going to Dana Point and maybe they thought I was Richard Nixon or something like that. But anyway, I called Mike immediately and I said, mike, I'm gonna be driving to fucking Dana Point on Saturday and maybe on Sunday, and I'm gonna be driving home from Dana Point and I'm gonna be stuck in traffic. You get on the phone with me while I'm sitting in my hour and a half long commute and we're going to talk through these chapters. Because I'm sitting in my car. I'm not doing anything. I was signing labels on the way to BevMo. I'm not doing last weekend. I'm not doing anything. You don't realize how much of your life you're just sort of captive. You're just on an airplane, you're sitting in a passenger seat while Mike August is weaving in and out of traffic on your way to BevMo. Or you're stuck in traffic going to Dana Point. You're not doing anything work on the book.

[David Wilde]

I was gonna say that's another great piece of advice for anyone doing any project is make use of what would otherwise be downtime.

[Brian Bishop]

I wrote.

[David Wilde]

I finished the outline for the book on a flight to Tennessee. I wrote it in the inside cover of your book as I had it with me. And I wrote the last little bit of my outline, and I wrote a chapter of the book on the way back from our live show with these guys in Las Vegas at CES last year.

[Brian Bishop]

Right.

[Adam Carolla]

I prepared the news on the toilet.

[Brian Bishop]

There you go. The toilet was right in the middle of the living room. She's that committed.

[Penn Jillette]

Hold on.

[David Wilde]

Get that drop.

[Brian Bishop]

Yes, I did the. Like I said we're going to New York. We'll go to Connecticut. We'll go to Lime Rock. We'll go to Bob Sharp's house. We'll go. I'm going to Laguna Seca. I'll bet Leno's gonna be there. I'll bet we'll film my race and we'll get Leno wherever we go. You know, in this case, we knew about it three months in advance. Indycars coming to Fontana. Good. Mario Andretti will be there. Good. Let's talk to Mario when he comes to Fontana.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, I remember hearing someone say, you have no memory for pain. And he was talking specifically about, like, if you try to remember something that hurt really bad physically a long time ago, it's hard to recall that pain. I don't think that that's true exactly, but I think it applies to what you're saying, which is doing these things that at the time feel grueling. Very quickly, you forget that and you're just happy with the result.

[Brian Bishop]

Yes. Think back on whatever you did last Friday and then kick it ahead two Fridays and go, did I lounge around the house, smoke some weed and watch some tv, or did I go out to Fontana and interview Mario Andretti and I don't remember? It doesn't feel any different to me. It's not like I have scars on me from doing going. I was as burnt out and as tired as I could possibly be after our New York run. Doing Stern early Monday morning, getting a rental car, driving to Lime Rock, interviewing all those guys, then going to Bob Sharp's house, then driving to airport. It was a crazy, grueling whatever. I was so sleep deprived, I don't even remember it. It's just some weird thing that happened two months ago. I have no recollection of it. So go through life that way. Stop every once in a while, smell the roses. And hopefully, by the way, if you're doing something you want to do, you don't look at interviewing one of the greatest race car drivers of all time as grueling. All right, where were we? Ah, that's right, Blues Traveler. All right, let's see real quick. And then we'll bring in Chan and John. Kevin? Yes, Adam. I've got a automotive Sophie's Choice for you. I'm starting a business, so I need a little extra cash. I have a 1963 Lincoln Continental and a 2006 Harley Davidson Softail. And I'm trying to figure out which one to part with. Well, I am not a very superstitious person, but I do believe if you're sitting around doing a coin toss about which one to sell, which is essentially the 7,000 pound tank or the thing that will put you in a wheelchair, the death machine. The death machine versus death machine. @ some point when you're laid up in the hospital and your femur sticking out through your forehead, you're gonna go, damn, I wish I kept that Lincoln instead of the Harley. So I'd keep the Lincoln just because we like our listeners and we want to keep you safe.

[David Wilde]

Is Kevin a married man or does he have kids?

[Brian Bishop]

I've been in the same relationship for 12 years. So again, you're married, but no kids.

[David Wilde]

Semi family to think about. Sell the motorcycle.

[Brian Bishop]

Sell the motorcycle. Keep the tank. Gotcha. All right, thanks for the advice, guys. Good times. All right, we will take ourselves a quick break. Blues Traveler in studio next. Yes, we are back. Blues Traveler, by the way, El Rey Theater in Los Angeles tonight, Billy Bob's Tyler Texas Barbecue.

[John Chan]

Oh, stop saying that.

[Brian Bishop]

I know you're killing me.

[John Chan]

And I was just saying before the break, if you have 10 MM's, you're close to getting a quarter of an actual candy bar. And that's how Congress thinks. I will help you get your own bag of M and Ms.

[Brian Bishop]

If you vote for me. But they never come through with those MMs.

[John Chan]

Not yet, but I just need a few more of your M&M's to contribute to my campaign.

[David Wilde]

That's former fat guy logic right there.

[Guest Caller]

My nine year old, I got seven.

[John Chan]

Kids in my family growing up.

[Brian Bishop]

He likes a whole bag of M.

[Guest Caller]

And Ms. And they just give you one or two.

[John Chan]

M and Ms. Were invented by the army in World War II so that you could have energy and not get candy all over your trigger finger.

[Brian Bishop]

Really?

[John Chan]

So if you're in Bastogne and you have 10 M&MS. You better share your M&MS. To keep the guy next to you awake.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[John Chan]

So in those circumstances, you have to.

[Brian Bishop]

Share your M and M. Oh, yeah, I definitely. I'd be balls deep in Bastogne if he would give me some M&M's.

[John Chan]

I have a couple of issues I'd like to. First of all, I saw the video of you driving your car. You're doing like, 90, 120. I did 158 miles an hour in Montana with a trunk full of guns, a full SUV full of luggage, and high on weed.

[Guest Caller]

Yeah, and a secret compartment.

[Brian Bishop]

Now, granted, I remember the secret compartment.

[John Chan]

Granted, there weren't other guys next to me doing the same speed, and I didn't have to turn anywhere. It was a straightaway.

[Brian Bishop]

Right.

[John Chan]

Come on. This is what I told police siren.

[Penn Jillette]

This is what I told Johnny.

[Brian Bishop]

Turn.

[John Chan]

That's America.

[Guest Caller]

Gandalf the Gray to Gandalf the white.

[John Chan]

Gandalf the busted once we hit Spokane, but I was only going to.

[Brian Bishop]

Is that where you got busted? Yeah.

[John Chan]

That was 100. You got to slow down when you hit Spokane.

[Brian Bishop]

That's.

[John Chan]

That's the moral of that story.

[Guest Caller]

The moral is he got all the guns back.

[John Chan]

Oh, and then I heard you. I was listening to your show this morning, or I guess yesterday, and you were talking about how you sent your kids down to Uncle Jimmy's studio where it was dark and haunted. And the first time I met Sonny, he must have been, like, 4 years old. And he takes one look at me and just starts crying. Remember that?

[Brian Bishop]

He knew he could never be that great. He knew he could never master anything.

[John Chan]

Just nice to know that I'm scarier than a dark, haunted studio.

[Brian Bishop]

Probably when Sonny was like three or.

[John Chan]

Two or something like that.

[David Wilde]

It's like when we see a great work of art.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[John Chan]

He's one look at me going.

[Brian Bishop]

I've never seen John happier than we were at Jimmy's house watching football. And the great Rowdy Roddy Piper put.

[John Chan]

Someone in a sleeper hole. That was beautiful.

[Brian Bishop]

And just literally, it's what guys do. They're sitting around watching, drinking beer. Yeah.

[John Chan]

It's the most nurturing you'll see a strong man be is when he's putting someone unconscious.

[Brian Bishop]

There, there.

[Penn Jillette]

You're okay.

[Brian Bishop]

All right. It's weird because he puts him down with the sleeper hold and then very gingerly lays him out on the deck.

[Guest Caller]

That's what we used to do in middle school.

[John Chan]

Yeah, that's what he used to do in middle school.

[Penn Jillette]

You did?

[John Chan]

I used to hide in the woods.

[Brian Bishop]

From people doing that, by the way. Website, bluestraveler.com. they're gonna play a song for us first. We were laughing about how John was using his harp and making these songs that I hate a little bit better with his harp. I have some songs here.

[John Chan]

I got all the keys.

[Brian Bishop]

You have all of them? All right, well, you may want to get that ready. I was thinking of if you could. Do we have Union of the Snake.

[John Chan]

Union of the Snake.

[Brian Bishop]

Duran Duran.

[John Chan]

Ah, there we go.

[Brian Bishop]

Wait, is that the Union? Yeah. It's not quite as good as the Reflex. Especially the extended dance version of the Reflex. Now, what note. What key do you need?

[David Wilde]

John's taking this so seriously.

[Brian Bishop]

I like when he goes.

[Penn Jillette]

All right, enough of Union.

[Brian Bishop]

That sounds good. I hear that in my life. Oh, yeah. You probably never thought you'd hear Rod Stewart's passion.

[John Chan]

Rod Stewart's passion.

[Brian Bishop]

Look, he's at something even the president needs passion. As I've learned from Rod. Such a piece of shit. He was trying to keep up the MTV generation right here. Rod was 51 when he wrote this song. Like, what the fuck is he thinking? Uh.

[John Chan]

Oh, I don't know if I've got this key. I've got to be flat.

[Brian Bishop]

This is the key of shit.

[John Chan]

I need an A. Anybody got an A?

[Brian Bishop]

I may have one in the car, but not here.

[John Chan]

Oh, boy, I'm missing an A. Do I have this key? I'm asking my tech now.

[Brian Bishop]

What if you.

[John Chan]

I'm shy one harp. Oh, wait, I think I can do it this way.

[Brian Bishop]

You won't find any pity out in the city. What about the heat on the street, Rod? I like when he takes a piece of and goes, how can I make it seven minutes? Long streets on the alley. All right, I have a hard one. All right, I got. Now, I decided to take this a little different direction because I thought, first off, there's true colors.

[John Chan]

We going true colors.

[Brian Bishop]

Cyndi Lauper. Well, there's Rihanna. This is Rihanna. Oh, my. By the way, this shit's being pumped into every fucking sports bar in North America. You noticed the chick music. Young, like nine year old chick music's being pumped into every open and sporting event and everything. Yeah, my. My daughter listens, but I found myself literally sitting in sports. I'm sitting in sports bar in Detroit and this was blaring. Yeah, it's airports, it's sports bars. It's everywhere. Rihanna's hot, right?

[David Wilde]

Not the sports bar.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, but here's the whole thing. It's like when these guys it's like when they have these. The Hot Blonde in the Morning Zoo. It's like. It's the radio. I'm in my car. You think I'm fucking a speaker. Like, I don't need you to be hot. I'm in a bar in Detroit.

[Penn Jillette]

Oh, okay.

[Brian Bishop]

This is you going, oh, your waitress is hot. Like, oh, okay, that helps. And them going, your masseuse is hot. Okay, that helps. That's a fantasy.

[John Chan]

You're hoping a hot chick is going to start club dancing right next to you in the stadium.

[Brian Bishop]

It's me and Mike August at 11 in the morning in Detroit, and we're the only two people in the fucking.

[John Chan]

This is the best TGI Fridays ever. I'm going to get naked it and start dancing on the bar.

[Brian Bishop]

Let's see if you can salvage our diamonds in the sky. All right, now I got one. That's a curveball, John.

[John Chan]

A curveball?

[Brian Bishop]

Yes, a curveball.

[John Chan]

Eric, you better bring in that. A harp.

[Penn Jillette]

I don't know.

[David Wilde]

They improved every song so far.

[Brian Bishop]

Rihanna's easy.

[Guest Caller]

Because it's always one.

[John Chan]

So far, all these things are just sort of one chord, Vance.

[Brian Bishop]

All right. That's not the new kids. Be prepared to be angry, okay? This is all right. Atlanta. More. Damn it. Alanis Morissette.

[John Chan]

Hang on. Get my Lannis chops ready.

[Guest Caller]

That's a little too good.

[John Chan]

We're gonna need.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, boy. Got the hand in the pocket. She has a. She has a little harmonica solo about. I think it's about a minute 30 into this.

[John Chan]

I'm not gonna play it like Lannis Marshall.

[Brian Bishop]

Do you get angry when you hear people just beat the shit out of harmonica?

[John Chan]

I can hear her breaking it on the air.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, it's terrible. Oh, now I like it. I am.

[Adam Carolla]

I care about.

[Brian Bishop]

Now, John. When she plays her solo, we have to just let her solo go.

[John Chan]

Here it is.

[Brian Bishop]

It Alanis. Yep.

[John Chan]

Broke a read. Hear that little dissonance?

[Brian Bishop]

At what point in your career do you think you'll be able to pull this off?

[John Chan]

I don't have a wide enough face.

[Brian Bishop]

Okay, so it's down. Maybe never.

[John Chan]

She literally fit the whole.

[Brian Bishop]

You can hear.

[John Chan]

She's spitting the whole harmonica.

[Brian Bishop]

Her face. She does have a big mouth. Yeah, I know. She has a mass. Mass.

[Adam Carolla]

Dave Coulier knows that.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. Oh, damn. You got some in the theater, man. Dave's packing. By the way, you don't have a. We don't have an. A harp, which means we can't do.

[John Chan]

Unless you can do it in a. Unless you got a Capo, do you.

[Brian Bishop]

Want to do the song? We were talking Maggie's farm.

[John Chan]

Oh, Maggie's farm.

[Brian Bishop]

I ain't gonna work on Maggie's farm no more. Up. This is a layup. Yeah. Too easy.

[John Chan]

I'm going to try and play Atlantis against this. Yeah, keep going.

[Brian Bishop]

I ain't gonna work on Maggie's farm no more. I forgot that pen. Not working for Maggie's brother. I hope this song means something. Does it mean something?

[John Chan]

Sounds like it's quit. He's not gonna work on Maggie's farm.

[Guest Caller]

It's the industry.

[Brian Bishop]

You know what I'm saying?

[John Chan]

I thought Maggie had a farm. And he doesn't want to work on it anymore.

[Guest Caller]

I think that's like a symbolism for the industry.

[John Chan]

Oh, I just thought Maggie had a farm. And he's like, he didn't know how to tell her he was going to quit.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. Because then the brother comes in.

[John Chan]

Yeah.

[David Wilde]

Like it's layered with symbolism.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[John Chan]

Maggie's brother. You know, Sluggo is really scary and he didn't know how to quit.

[Brian Bishop]

We are going to do a little news. Chan and John are going to hang out and do some news with us first. Legalzoom, baby. Oh, you got a business you want to start? Yeah, you can do it with LegalZoom. It's just you can legally zoom with LegalZoom.com they come in, they've helped over 1 million businesses get started and they're ready to help you. Ready to launch your dream. You go to legalzoom.com, save hundreds of dollars. Save a bunch of time too. Go to legalzoom.com today and see what's right for you. Dawson. Form an LLC, get a DBA, incorporate or form a non profit. All starting at just $99. Plus save even more when you enter Adam in the referral box at checkout. Help ensure your business and assets are legally [e-mail] LegalZoom can provide self help services at your specific direction or connect you with an attorney, but they are not allowed. All right, should we do a little news, Alison Ross.

[Penn Jillette]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

But first, can I say that now, I did not have a lot of time to just Google search the meaning of Maggie's Farm, but apparently. Okay. This was an update of Dylan's 1961 song Hard Times in the country, which was adapted from the Bentley Brothers Pennies Farm, a 1920s musical complaint about a rural landlord in Maggie's farm. Dylan. Maggie's Farm is Dylan's declaration of independence from the protest folk movement. Punning on McGee's farm. Where he had performed at a civil rights protest in 1963. The song recast the folk music scene as an oppressive overseer.

[Brian Bishop]

I wish he just said that instead of writing that folk music.

[John Chan]

I would have liked to know.

[Penn Jillette]

I like that song.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, I wish he just sort of puts it. That was his way of not having.

[Guest Caller]

To play with Joan Baez anymore.

[John Chan]

Yeah, I know what he means about the folk movement. They do get a little oppressive.

[Adam Carolla]

The first and last stanzas detail how Dylan feels straight jacketed, needing room to express his quote, head full of ideas and to just be, be and to be, quote, just like I am.

[John Chan]

He should have called it folk.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[John Chan]

See, I feel like there'd be a.

[Brian Bishop]

Quietly difficult group to hang with. Those folkies back then. Yeah.

[Guest Caller]

And Joan Baez.

[Brian Bishop]

And Joan Baez. And imagine how judgmental like Peter, Paul, and Mary would be.

[John Chan]

Oh, God, yes.

[Brian Bishop]

They'd just be watching you, and you'd be like, can you hand me a beer?

[Adam Carolla]

You smoke pot?

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[John Chan]

You're smoking that pot for the wrong reason. You have to smoke it in protest of the war.

[Brian Bishop]

Man convicted of child molestation. Maybe, but you can't judge.

[John Chan]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

I mean, later. Yeah, later. Later.

[John Chan]

You actually can judge.

[Brian Bishop]

You can judge that I can't judge.

[Penn Jillette]

That's what I'm thinking.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. It's on the can judge list that.

[John Chan]

It'S been judged, Acceptably judged.

[Brian Bishop]

I did hear that one of them ran in a little trouble. It might be Paul. It might be Peter. I'm not sure.

[John Chan]

I love their candy. I love their candy bars.

[Brian Bishop]

All right. And you're going to keep it all for yourself. Let's do some news, shall we?

[John Chan]

Well, you do have two Mounds and two Almond Jo.

[Adam Carolla]

I prepared the news on the toilet.

[Brian Bishop]

The news with Allison Rosen. She'll read some news from her iPad. Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad. It's Allison. Allison. And when it's time to wrap it up, she'll sign it off with Zip it, cunt. It's Allison. Allison.

[Adam Carolla]

So too bad David Wilde's not here to give us the scoop on CeeLo Green, who's in the news right now. He pleaded not guilty to giving a woman ecstasy at a Los Angeles restaurant during a dinner in 2012. And prosecutors have declined to file a rape count against him because of insufficient evidence.

[Brian Bishop]

Look at it, CeeLo. It's funny thing where it's like, ceelo, we're going to court. You need a very tasteful gi. Not the spangled one you normally wear. Does it look like he's Something sort of respectful.

[John Chan]

Does it look like he's saying the word shit?

[Adam Carolla]

It does.

[Guest Caller]

Shit sounds like he's saying, are you kidding me?

[John Chan]

This shit is wrong.

[Brian Bishop]

First off, so he gave someone ecstasy?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Prosecutors charged him with one felony count of furnishing a controlled substance, and he could face four years in prison if convicted. His bail was set at $30,000.

[John Chan]

Another reason not to share your M&Ms. People.

[Brian Bishop]

Good lesson. Good lesson.

[Guest Caller]

By the way, I think giving and.

[Brian Bishop]

Furnishing are two different words.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, the woman says, I believe that she lost a chunk of time, and then all of a sudden, next thing she knew, she was naked.

[Brian Bishop]

I would explain to her that a, she wouldn't have done anything important during that period of time anyway. It's usually in the wee hours, you know, all you would have done is fucking ordered a pizza, eaten it and forgotten all about it, woke up a little bit fatter. Number two, you're gonna get naked at some point anyway. I've had ecstasy more than once.

[John Chan]

You've been a great rich helper.

[Brian Bishop]

Thank you. I've dabbled. It doesn't make you pass out.

[John Chan]

Now, if you have 10, ecstasy kills, and I don't have any. How many do you share?

[Brian Bishop]

I give one to. You have six brothers?

[Penn Jillette]

No.

[John Chan]

Ask Sila how many you share.

[Penn Jillette]

Zero.

[John Chan]

See, this is why we don't share M&Ms.

[Brian Bishop]

So he gave her or she says.

[Adam Carolla]

That he slipped her ecstasy.

[Brian Bishop]

How did she know what she was slipped?

[John Chan]

He wasn't arrested for slipping. It was furnishing.

[Brian Bishop]

Furnishing. Wasn't this somebody who he'd been with, though? Restaurant? No, no, they'd been together. Like, he flew her out, and they'd been together for a while, like a lot of these.

[Adam Carolla]

His lawyer said any sexual contact between them was consensual.

[Brian Bishop]

So they've been together before that for some period of time or other events or other evenings?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I think.

[Brian Bishop]

It's not like he went to a bar and drugged someone and then brought them back to his hotel room.

[Guest Caller]

CeeLo, he doesn't need to deal.

[Brian Bishop]

He doesn't need.

[John Chan]

Sounds like somebody was like, hey, Ecstasy. And he's like, yeah, you want something?

[Brian Bishop]

What I'm saying is, if somebody slipped you ecstasy, you wouldn't know what they slipped you unless they told you. Oh, well.

[Adam Carolla]

So is the charge that she's bringing against him rape? And ecstasy is part of it, and that's the only thing that'll stick.

[David Wilde]

Well, CeeLo has tiny, tiny hands. So when he handed her the ecstasy, she probably does like a necco.

[Brian Bishop]

Wafer or something. Horse pill, which is sweet.

[John Chan]

Tarts, Something huge.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. Oh, I miss those. Well, either way, I think, yeah, the.

[John Chan]

Ecstasy would probably be counted as like a roof and all in this, you know, like, that would be the attempted drugging of somebody. Yeah, it sounds like she got mad at him for, you know, not.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, I don't. I. I think I heard they had a history. No, no. Ecstasy is two pots of coffee. And why can't I go to sleep and give me a beer for a little while and, you know. Yeah.

[John Chan]

Nobody's trying to have sex with us that way though. Like, we're large men. It doesn't happen.

[Brian Bishop]

Right.

[John Chan]

You know, if you're a little girl and you have some ecstasy, you know, it's like in the old days, if you gave a girl too much alcohol that was attempting to rape her.

[Brian Bishop]

Have you ever heard a dude. I've had this conversation with dudes, you know, you just kind of go along with it. But I had a conversation with a dude who's like, oh, yeah, I've had stuff slipped to me. And then you're like, what happened? We were out drinking and, you know, I got back to my hotel, but I didn't remember anything. And then you're like, I had stuff sleep. Was there a corn cob broken off in your asshole? And they're like, no, no nothing. And I'm like, who's doing this, by the way? Like, just slipping you shit and not trying to fuck you?

[John Chan]

Like, I had that happen to me.

[Brian Bishop]

You have.

[John Chan]

We were at a bar.

[Brian Bishop]

You're a celebrity.

[John Chan]

And we were eating.

[Brian Bishop]

Were you a celebrity?

[John Chan]

Yeah, we were eating mushroom chocolates at the time. Yes, I was. And I was.

[Adam Carolla]

And then you started hallucinating mushroom chocolates.

[John Chan]

And we're all having fun.

[Brian Bishop]

We did.

[John Chan]

And then someone slipped me in mushroom. Last thing I remember, someone going, did someone just put something in your mouth?

[Brian Bishop]

Uh huh.

[John Chan]

Oh, no. But everything turned into the matrix.

[Brian Bishop]

But you were eating mushrooms.

[John Chan]

Well, I was with my band in my bus. Nothing was gonna happen to me.

[Guest Caller]

So strong mushroom chocolates.

[John Chan]

My feet said to me, you've got 10 minutes. And then we're giving up on you and we're lying down wherever we are. So I followed the good Griffin, who was the girl that I was with. But I knew she was a friendly dragon and followed her to the bus. She put me to bed, and then I woke up three hours later, only tripping.

[Brian Bishop]

I saw you on tmz, by the way. Heaving, vomiting. Yes. That was awesome. I'm glad about that.

[John Chan]

That actually upped our ticket sales for a while. That was fun.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, that's good.

[John Chan]

I was drinking a whiskey.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, it was a whiskey. Yeah. Yes.

[John Chan]

Yeah, that was the thing. I corrected them and said, and I'm about to slam it. And we're in Florida, and as I'm drinking it out of the corner, I see a giant bug in there.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, really?

[John Chan]

So I'm slamming it, and then I try to adjust for the bug, but it's already going down. So I inhaled half of the whiskey.

[Brian Bishop]

We also had a new crew guy.

[Guest Caller]

Who didn't know quite the level of whiskey to put in there.

[John Chan]

I inhaled quite a bit of that whiskey and drank the bug and just spat it all over the air.

[Brian Bishop]

What the fuck's going on in Florida? I did a show in Florida where I was standing up on stage holding a microphone and a giant dragonfly or whatever just buzzed by my head.

[John Chan]

It was like a June bug or something.

[Brian Bishop]

I did a crazy, like, ah. You know? But nobody in the theater saw. All they saw was me flailing for no reason in the middle of talking. It got fucking buzzed. It buzzed my tower, man. Florida has all sorts of weird shit, Florida.

[John Chan]

And they're tracking the lights because you're on stage with lights on you. So they come flying all the time. Yep.

[Brian Bishop]

So at first, when you saw the tape, it's like, oh, this guy can't hold his beer. Now it turns out it was whiskey with a bug in it. Yeah. All right, so you're back to hardcore again.

[Guest Caller]

At the end, he says, party foul.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[John Chan]

Which apparently is the same.

[Penn Jillette]

I was like, party foul.

[John Chan]

Like, for the next three days, I was having this lung burn. It was nasty.

[Brian Bishop]

Wow. So you started to drink, chug the whiskey, and just out the point.

[John Chan]

I see these legs. And I was like. Like, I tried to, like, adjust, but keep drinking.

[Brian Bishop]

You did not eat the worm, ladies and gentlemen. This has happened to everyone, really. I ate the bug. Oh, we've all been there.

[John Chan]

Well, really irresponsible for what you drink. I should have, like, seen the bug. Next time you're in Florida, look at what you're drinking.

[Brian Bishop]

Yes.

[John Chan]

That's the moral story.

[Brian Bishop]

Moral of the story.

[Adam Carolla]

I had an experience where I think I was slipped something. But it's like now, after hearing you talk about how people who say they've had those experiences, usually they haven't, then it makes me question it.

[John Chan]

But being a girl, you probably did.

[Adam Carolla]

And I was. I used to play in a band, and we were playing a show, and I did accept a drink from like that someone had put on stage. But I had been drinking that night. I probably had like two. That was my third. And I remember talking to these two guys and then we were trying to leave and my legs just like buckled under me. And I remember people lifting me up with my elbows. And I mean, that had. That had never. And since it has never happened to me where all of a sudden it just like, I can't. It's like I got anesthetized, I was having trouble walking. People had to take care of me and I threw up all over my shoulder and the van.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, yeah, here's the thing, here's the way I feel it. Like if somebody says, oh, yeah, I've had my house broken into. And you go, what did they steal? And they go, oh, they didn't take anything. I always go, well, maybe you didn't get your house broken into. Well, nothing was disturbed, but I think they had the key. And you're like, all right, they didn't steal anything, they didn't break anything.

[John Chan]

But your bedspreads are crunchy.

[Brian Bishop]

But something's going on. It makes me wonder. But here's my first. Here's what I'm saying. I feel like if you drug somebody, you drug them for a reason.

[John Chan]

She's a good reason to drug somebody.

[Adam Carolla]

That's the thing is no one tried to. Well, but my band got me out of there.

[Brian Bishop]

I don't know, people had you back, you're a celebrity. But I'm saying for the dudes, just the dude dude, the 28 year old guy, dude, bro, who says he thinks he was drugged, but then he just walked back to his hotel. Like, why is anyone doing that?

[John Chan]

There's one caveat I could give the person who might roofie somebody isn't the smartest guy and he might be drunk, so you might put it in the wrong drink or the drink gets taken away or gets passed around.

[Brian Bishop]

Every Loveline episode is like, we went out, we did Jaeger bombs, then I did keg stands, then I butt funneled whole bunch of sangria. And I think somebody slipped me a roofie because by the end of the night, the fucking. The club was spinning around and I was having trouble riding my moped back to the villa. And it's like, you drank all day.

[John Chan]

Dude, you roofied yourself.

[Brian Bishop]

And I guess you guys probably know this as well. Sometimes you drink and it's like, yeah. And then sometimes you drink and you get really fucked up. Like, I don't remember.

[John Chan]

I don't remember last songs on some shows Did I do that song right?

[Brian Bishop]

The stories I've heard.

[Guest Caller]

If you're gonna roofie somebody, it's usually GHB or Special K. Yeah, there you go. Not Ecstasy.

[Brian Bishop]

All right, well, close up the story.

[John Chan]

Important note, kids.

[Brian Bishop]

We'll get to the bottom of the seat. You gotta do that.

[John Chan]

I got a really great roofie story that crew guy on one of our records told me a cop friend of his did. He had a shag carpeted Cadillac with the rag top. It was real fancy. It was purple and had had zebra skin. Shag in his car. He was kind of a dick, this guy.

[Brian Bishop]

Jew or Asian?

[John Chan]

Dude, I think he was a real racist Italian, actually.

[Adam Carolla]

That's a different direction than what we're going.

[John Chan]

But yeah, this is in like the 70s or 80s or something. And he sees a bunch of these Puerto Rican guys who had roofied this girl and were spearing out of the place. And he flashes his badge and scares him away. But he says now, in his mind, he's going to now fuck her in his car.

[Brian Bishop]

Sure.

[John Chan]

So he takes her out to his Cadillac.

[Brian Bishop]

Harvey Ketel takes her out to the Cadillac.

[John Chan]

Basically, this is what we're talking about. Bad lieutenant. And he's got her in his car and she vomits and shits all over the shack in his car. And the guy looks at this as a good karma story.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, it was karma.

[Guest Caller]

Teach me not to date rape.

[John Chan]

And I said to the guy, was this you? And he said, no, no, because he's not a cop.

[Brian Bishop]

Right.

[John Chan]

But he knows a cop that tried to do this.

[Brian Bishop]

Karma and carpet at the same time. In the car.

[Guest Caller]

In the car.

[Brian Bishop]

Car mess. You know, Look, I'm not telling guys what to do out there, but there is an element where guys try to have girls drink a couple of cocktails and loosen up the morals just a little bit.

[John Chan]

The girl knows she's drinking a cocktail. You gotta slip anybody.

[Brian Bishop]

There's a. There's. There's a balance to be struck. You don't wanna be holding the hair out of the way while they're heaving into the toilet.

[John Chan]

One is a felony and one is a drink.

[Brian Bishop]

It's a. It's. It's. By the way, technically rape in California if you have sex with someone who's over the legal limit.

[Penn Jillette]

That's a good point.

[Brian Bishop]

Really?

[John Chan]

Yes, Chan.

[Brian Bishop]

Which to me means you can't have sex with someone older than 18. But I may be misinterpreting this law when I hear legal limit.

[Penn Jillette]

If I'm.

[John Chan]

If I'm in a good relationship with A girl.

[Penn Jillette]

I would.

[John Chan]

I really. This is a cool fantasy. I want her to roofie me. Like, I want to know that I'm going to be roofied and pretend she's a stranger. And like. Hi.

[Brian Bishop]

I think you need to be guarded, John. I don't know if roofie's gonna do it.

[John Chan]

Well, you know, I'm open.

[Brian Bishop]

Okay.

[Adam Carolla]

Now, see, if you put that out there, don't you think that. Wouldn't you spend all your time just looking over your shoulder, being like, where's the roofie coming from?

[John Chan]

Well, I do anyway. But the fact is I'm talking. If I'm in a good relationship, like, I want to know.

[Brian Bishop]

You already got June bugged by your guitar tech.

[John Chan]

You know, that's true. I did get June bugged.

[Penn Jillette]

What was in that?

[Brian Bishop]

Whiskey. Yeah. All right, what else?

[John Chan]

My butt did hurt. The next day.

[Adam Carolla]

A Nevada middle school boy used a semiautomatic handgun to wound two students and kill a math teacher before turning the weapon on himself. And this happened 15 minutes before the bell at Sparks Middle School on Monday. His motive for the shooting wasn't known.

[Brian Bishop]

What? How old was he?

[Adam Carolla]

They just said middle school. They haven't released any details about him.

[John Chan]

All handguns are semiautomatic, by the way.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. Because as fast as you can squeeze the trigger is what semi automatic is. Right.

[John Chan]

So even a western revolver, the western one is. That one isn't. That's a repeat double action revolvers or semi automatic.

[Brian Bishop]

John.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. What does it mean? As opposed to having to cock it each time?

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[John Chan]

If you cock it each time, then it's a repeating handgun. And then if it's just as fast as you can pull the trigger, it's semi automatic.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. And full automatics, obviously. Just holding the trigger. Yeah.

[John Chan]

Hold the trigger down, it goes brap. But, yeah, that's still just really sad.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

The teacher was trying to get him to. The teacher who got killed was trying to get him to put the gun down.

[Brian Bishop]

You know, the thing that's crazy about guns is, you know, the LAPD opens up on the Toyota Tacoma and puts 124 rounds in it and doesn't hit one of the women in the car, and then the 12 year old holds the piece up and kills the guy. Yeah. It's so kind of a crapshoot fucking random, if you'll excuse those.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Is it a distance thing?

[Brian Bishop]

I feel like the LAPD has fired hundreds of thousands of bullets. Like, here's my argument. If you accused me and said, look, LAPD is killing people on the street, they go well for the amount of shots that they fired at people at close range versus body count. We're pretty good in that department. Oh, definitely thousands of rounds and only have a couple of corpses.

[John Chan]

If you go to the range with lapd, they would outshoot you every time. They're like in a 90 percentile of shooting, like anyone who's trained with a gun.

[Brian Bishop]

But once they get the street, they seem to miss a lot.

[John Chan]

Well, the fact is, anyone, no matter how trained you are, it's like, oh.

[Brian Bishop]

My God, I'm shooting somebody.

[John Chan]

It's terrifying.

[Adam Carolla]

Isn't that supposed to be trained out of them?

[Brian Bishop]

It can't.

[John Chan]

You can't ultimately train adrenaline out of people. You know, and that's the thing. Like, it's really a crapshoot.

[Brian Bishop]

That's why you got a roof here.

[John Chan]

That's the thing about violence and death, is that you don't know. And so, like, you're glad they're trained because it'll be a lot better. They'll miss a lot less. But still, you know, a kid who's determined to take his own life is going to be calmer. Yeah, that's the sad thing.

[Brian Bishop]

Plus the doctors then always have to do that. If that bullet was one inch to the left, you wouldn't be here, right? Right now.

[John Chan]

I know.

[Brian Bishop]

And then my old thing is, yeah, but if it's four inches to the right, I wouldn't be here either. I'd be home watching tv. So what the fuck?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, you're right in that sweet spot.

[Brian Bishop]

Just got shot in the meaty part of the thigh. How about not getting shot at all? How about that as an option?

[John Chan]

If oxygen hadn't formed in the atmosphere, none of us would be here.

[Brian Bishop]

Wow.

[John Chan]

Missed it by that much.

[Brian Bishop]

That's right. One to grow on. Ah. All right, let's do one more.

[Adam Carolla]

Here's some local news, Adam. I think this will make you feel good. Vendors who are trying to hock sightseeing tours on the sidewalks of Hollywood have now been banned from doing that. They now can only sell tours from a business or kiosk on private property. Instead of approaching tourists along the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

[Brian Bishop]

Where I personally live, these guys have gone nuts lately.

[John Chan]

I've heard about this.

[Guest Caller]

Are you on the map?

[Brian Bishop]

I'm not on the map, but I'm on the stop. Here's basically how I'm wired from a self esteem standpoint. That's why I have. So I brought up the question. I have pulled out of my. Down my driveway and had these guys Stopped and blocking my driveway with the van parked there and the roof taken off with the hacksaw and everyone just taking pictures of me and stuff. And I realize I'm not a big enough celebrity to make a, what you'd call a dedicated trip.

[John Chan]

Of course you are. Come on, listeners. Get out there and visit Adam's house.

[Brian Bishop]

But if you're on the way to Johnny Depp's house or some other bigger.

[Guest Caller]

Celebrity and you have, you'll actually be.

[John Chan]

Working on your house with a hammer.

[Brian Bishop]

No, I. They stop at my house on the way to other sites. In Hollywood, you're what you would call.

[David Wilde]

A target of opportunity.

[Brian Bishop]

Yes, that's right.

[John Chan]

You actually bring them something to drink and say, hi, how's it going?

[Brian Bishop]

Right. If you. There's places you can move where they'll not go to you. The big question is, do you wait, do you wave?

[John Chan]

You would wave and you'd bring them brownies.

[Guest Caller]

Or do you act like you're peeved? And this is.

[John Chan]

And Mangria. You'd bring them Mangria.

[Brian Bishop]

It's a weird thing because you have a large group of a. You have a very self selecting group of morons who are gonna pay $12 to go in a Chevy Econoline van and see where Cowlings once took a piss on his lawn. You know, so you have these people from parts unknown, by the way. They're not from.

[John Chan]

Kids under 6 get car rides.

[Brian Bishop]

They're not from here. And then they take everybody all around the city and they show them where targets of interest may lie. And at some point later on, they're more than free to come back with a fifth of Jack Daniels and a machete if they like.

[John Chan]

Or to say they peed on your doorstep.

[Brian Bishop]

Right. Whatever it is, if you were an.

[Guest Caller]

Asshole when they showed up, if you were nice, just gave him the double.

[Penn Jillette]

The rock and roll.

[Brian Bishop]

It still doesn't stop some crazed born again who doesn't like all the free sex advice I've dispensed over the years. And so also when I'm on the road, it's just the twins and the wife scare the hell out of me. And it's not, by the way. It is one of these things where you would go, well, this would be illegal if it was anybody. But if you're a celebrity, then it's not illegal. Which I don't get. My whole thing with all this shit where I go, hey, you're filming me leaving lax, you're putting it on tmz or you're swinging the van by my house. You're profiting off of me and there's not a fucking thing I can do about it. And people go, well yeah, you know, you're a celebrity, what do you want?

[John Chan]

You gave your life to show business.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, my feelings is fine. I don't want a fucking parking ticket then. I mean, as long as I get. And then it gets back to whoa. You think just cause you're a celebrity you don't have to what, feed a parking meter? You don't have to wait in line at the dmv like you don't have to. So my answer is I will take this. If there's some perk like I get to just waltz through. Like when I'm doing the interview at lax, I don't have to go through security cuz I'm a celebrity. But you get the security and the fucking loser talking out front or you vomiting with the June bug, It's on tmz. I mean, I don't think Brad Pitkin goes through security. Well, you got to stare at baby.

[John Chan]

I actually enjoyed the bug vomiting. It was, it was actually helped. People started showing up on Twitter and started showing up to show well these.

[Brian Bishop]

So these guys are all over the place. And as if there wasn't enough traffic, I had a woman, now they're sightseeing.

[John Chan]

I had a woman sue me because I stole run around from thoughts in her head. And the lawyer actually is like, I know she's crazy, but she's paying me. So here's the thing, right? I love that lawyer by the way.

[Brian Bishop]

And I love the. And I also then just love the, yeah, you got money, just settle up. Just, you know.

[John Chan]

Oh no, we did we.

[Brian Bishop]

She.

[John Chan]

Nothing came of it because she was clearly insane. But that's the person I'm worried about showing up at your door at 4 in the morning. Like Satan told me to come and talk to you. You know, like those people are out there and you don't even have to be famous. You could just be the crazy Eddie.

[Brian Bishop]

Guy on tv, right?

[John Chan]

And they decided that you talk to them and then they're gonna come. If somebody's saying this is where he.

[Penn Jillette]

Lives, that's a little creepy.

[Brian Bishop]

Creepy van load after van load.

[John Chan]

Oh yes. You know, then you got van loads of potential nut jobs and see that, to me it ends at your doorstep.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I remember hearing this figure maybe you heard it too, that 100% of celebrities have stalkers.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh really?

[John Chan]

And many, many people who aren't celebrities have stalkers because it's not about you. I've been stalked. And it's very unflattering to your non.

[Penn Jillette]

Celebrities have stalkers.

[John Chan]

It has nothing to do with you. It's all in their head. I was stalked by someone and then we filed a police report. Cause she said I was like threatening her. And then some guy from the ATF called me after I got arrested, like, can we just see your guns? I was like, well, no, I'm getting on a plane. He's like, well, okay. And you know, we talked to him. She wound up stalking that guy, the ATF guy.

[Brian Bishop]

Really? Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

He stole her from you?

[John Chan]

No, she just wanted someone to give her attention. It has nothing to do with you. It's just creepy people.

[Brian Bishop]

So when the person is stabbing me, I shouldn't be taking it personally?

[Penn Jillette]

No, you should.

[John Chan]

It's time to take it. See, the thing is, when you say, hey, look at me, look at me. You can't wonder why people are looking at you. But at your doorstep, you're not asking anyone to look at you. You're saying, stop looking at me.

[Brian Bishop]

And thus the small arsenal I should keep in my car.

[John Chan]

Well, it doesn't have to be in your car.

[Brian Bishop]

Just handy insight, baby. Oh, yeah.

[Penn Jillette]

Oh, yes.

[Brian Bishop]

Let's talk about your stand up routine. Baby in bed.

[Penn Jillette]

That's the male roofie.

[John Chan]

And the girls will slip ya.

[Brian Bishop]

Good stuff, Ace man. Yes. All right, let's see. Ah, John Chan, El Rey Theater. That is tonight. Los Angeles live shows. Blues Traveler, Billy Bob's in Texas and Do Si do in Woodland. Oh, I'm Texas as well. Coming up November 25th, 27th. You can go to the website. Go to bluestraveler.com if you want to see John Yack on stage.

[Penn Jillette]

Hell yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

Hell yeah.

[John Chan]

Will I or won't I?

[Brian Bishop]

There's no bugs in la.

[John Chan]

Oh yeah. Who knows?

[Brian Bishop]

Ice House tonight with Rich Eisen. So come on out and check that out. And Mangria bevmo all over the GD place. So go out and grab some. Cause it's. That stuff is strong. We got. Oh yeah, can I get Mangria? Yeah, get some Mangria. Yeah. All right. Also we got some new shirts and some new hats and some new swag if you want to go to AdamKroll.com store there. And thank you so much for your support and going through our website. When you go through Amazon and all that good stuff. So until next time, this Adam Crow for John and Chan and Allison and Bald is saying, mahalo. Excuse me, sweetie. You can take your Hispanic surname and your fallopian Tubing and hit the bricks.

[Penn Jillette]

All right, there's Adam Colish Show 1190. Coming up next, we have Adam Colishow 1190. We got Penn Jillette. We got David Wilde, Allison Rose and Brian B. Another gem of an episode. I hope you guys enjoy this one.

[Brian Bishop]

Check it out.

[Adam Carolla]

Get it on Got to get it on no choice but to get it on Mandate get it on. Hello, it's Allison Rosen. I sound different than Adam because I'm not Adam. Adam will be here. He is.

[Guest Caller]

Don't say that about yourself. Don't put yourself down there.

[Adam Carolla]

I was complimenting myself, actually.

[Penn Jillette]

Yeah, I thought it was damning with faint praise. Actually.

[Adam Carolla]

Adam will be here very shortly.

[Brian Bishop]

Maybe. Maybe.

[Adam Carolla]

I mean, who knows? We've been told he will be. You're hearing a lot of voices. You're thinking, who are they? This would be Penn Jillette.

[Penn Jillette]

I'm Penn Jillette.

[Adam Carolla]

David Wilde.

[Penn Jillette]

Hi, Alison.

[Adam Carolla]

And of course, Paul, Brian.

[Brian Bishop]

I love to ingest marijuana laced food.

[David Wilde]

Asked for by several people is a big hit on yesterday's show. Hashtag top drop on Twitter.

[Adam Carolla]

Dawson, have you received these pot brownies that we heard tell of yet?

[Brian Bishop]

I have received them.

[Adam Carolla]

Have you ingested any yet?

[Brian Bishop]

I have, of course.

[Adam Carolla]

How were they?

[Brian Bishop]

We'll wait till the ace man gets here. I'll tell him. There we go. Very, very strong stuff.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm looking for content right now.

[Brian Bishop]

Content was good. Okay, you know, I'll give you some content. I got them in my fridge.

[Adam Carolla]

No, I can't. I feel like I got a contact high just smelling them. For people that don't know, Adam received a big basket of drugs disguised as sugary treats.

[Guest Caller]

And he's late the next show. Coincidence or not, I think.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Brian Bishop]

Any standard sweets you can get at a medicinal marijuana dispensary.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I'm sure your glaucoma is better, right?

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, absolutely. You can see. Great.

[Adam Carolla]

Excellent. And your back pain? Gone. So all sorts. Well, Adam will tell you when he gets here, but a packed show. Music 7 with David Wilde and Ringo Starr will be calling in.

[Guest Caller]

No, he's gonna try. He's gonna try. We'll see. If not, Pete Best could call in. You know, Keith Moon's unlikely at this point.

[Brian Bishop]

Perfect.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. So that explains the question mark on the rundown I'm looking at because it says David Wilde, music segment with Ringo Starr call.

[Guest Caller]

I saw Ringo yesterday and made a pitch because I said Joe Walsh has been on the show. Jeff Lynn, it's time. We gotta step it up. We gotta go full Beatle.

[David Wilde]

Why are you trying so Hard to get rid of those CeeLo Green books.

[Guest Caller]

There's a fire sale right now. It's an ecstasy sale.

[David Wilde]

Oh, my goodness.

[Guest Caller]

No, there's not. I got three boxes contractually, and I'm going to Nashville for three weeks, and my wife said I have to clean my closet.

[David Wilde]

Oh, that's prime. CeeLo. Terrified.

[Penn Jillette]

Did you write the CeeLo book?

[Guest Caller]

I collaborated with Mr. Lowe.

[Penn Jillette]

Oh, so you wrote the Cielo book.

[Guest Caller]

I collaborated closely with Mr. Lowe.

[Penn Jillette]

Sure you did. Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

David Wild. Did you know about the charges when you were doing the book? I actually brought up in the news. We talked about the CeeLo Green story. And I said, I wish David Wilde were here to shed some light on.

[Penn Jillette]

What is the CeeLo Green story? I don't even know.

[Adam Carolla]

David, you tell us.

[Guest Caller]

The story is that there was a woman who accused him of slipping her roofie of some sort.

[Adam Carolla]

That's what I said. And then Adam.

[Guest Caller]

That's ecstasy is what we're hearing now. Is that the same thing? I'm so naive.

[Adam Carolla]

It's not the same thing.

[Penn Jillette]

I believe they're not the same thing.

[Adam Carolla]

But I was under the impression that he was accused of slipping her the drug. And then Adam made me doubt myself.

[Guest Caller]

No. What happened is the court looked into this, and apparently he's innocent. That was not true. That.

[Adam Carolla]

But that was the accusation. Right.

[Penn Jillette]

No such thing as innocent. Not guilty.

[Guest Caller]

Not guilty yet.

[Penn Jillette]

No.

[Guest Caller]

He. Apparently, I think he was with a woman in a bar. And that's the only charge that might be. Is that he furnished her ecstasy.

[Penn Jillette]

That's.

[Guest Caller]

But he's not. He's plaguing.

[Penn Jillette]

Those are very different drugs. Roofies make someone unconscious, and ecstasy makes them huggy. And listen to repetition. Yeah.

[Guest Caller]

And I believe he never slipped me anything.

[Adam Carolla]

She was found naked with a pacifier in her mouth.

[Brian Bishop]

Mouth.

[Penn Jillette]

Is that true?

[Adam Carolla]

No, but that's what you do.

[Penn Jillette]

My favorite tweet.

[Guest Caller]

And I think he's innocent. I think he's innocent. And I know he pled not guilty, but Brad Paisley tweeted me, having heard about this. Tweeted. The interesting thing is David Wilde's co writer has never been accused of giving.

[Penn Jillette]

Any woman any ecstasy. And my wife.

[Guest Caller]

I think my wife retweeted it. That's the painful part.

[David Wilde]

Are you guys subscribers to the theory that. That there is no such thing as bad publicity? Because in this case, actually, that's a.

[Penn Jillette]

Quote from Lee Harvey Oswald.

[Brian Bishop]

Really?

[David Wilde]

Is that true?

[Penn Jillette]

That's the first one who said it, yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

No shit.

[Penn Jillette]

Absolute shit. That's not true. That's. It Would be very funny if it were those.

[Brian Bishop]

Yes.

[Penn Jillette]

And actually Oswald didn't have much time to give any quotes. Yeah, Jack Ruby. Right? End quote.

[Brian Bishop]

Bang.

[David Wilde]

The Bartlett's entries for Lee Harvey.

[Penn Jillette]

We were just. Teller and I were just in Dealey Plaza, you know, and the picture of Ruby shooting Oswald, their height difference, their weight difference, everything is very Penn and Teller. So we went out in front of Dealey Plaza and posed. I got a cowboy hat and posed in the picture of shooting Oswald.

[David Wilde]

Who shot who? Pat Pennertello.

[Penn Jillette]

Well, Bruby is much bigger than Oswald.

[David Wilde]

Okay.

[Penn Jillette]

So the pen shot was always the big guy. I'm Arthur Conan Doyle, Teller's Houdini. I'm Jack Ruby. He's Oswald. And when Teller made the face like the, you know, that great Oswald getting shot face with Penn and Teller, it just didn't have the iconic quality of the Oswald picture. It looked a little more like I was punching him in the nut sack. It didn't really look like I was shooting him, you know, but I think still, I would still wait and hope that if Penn and Teller are actually throwing money away, I would love to see a billboard on the Vegas strip that said Penn and Teller. And then that black and white picture of me in the suit. You know the picture I'm talking about.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, yeah.

[Penn Jillette]

Someone should have popped it up on a screen by now.

[David Wilde]

But speaking of you guys shooting each other, do you guys still do the.

[Penn Jillette]

Yeah, we do the bull catch.

[Brian Bishop]

That's a great.

[David Wilde]

I saw that.

[Penn Jillette]

You know, it is the most dangerous trick in show business. There are. They usually write it like this, which makes me laugh a lot. They usually write that 13 magicians and two carnies have been killed doing it. As though there was a difference in quality of life. That there was something like, you know, this is how many. You know.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. What is the conversion?

[Penn Jillette]

One sixth of a human being is a carny or something. But, yeah, it's the most dangerous trick in.

[Adam Carolla]

And I think, wait, what is this trick? For those who don't know, a trick.

[Penn Jillette]

Called the bullet catch, which is. And there's a lot of accidental funny in this. That's in very bad taste. It is an American trick, the bullet catch, and it was the Harvey Oswald. It was developed by Native American magicians. Now, you didn't even know they were Native American magicians. I didn't, but they used to do it for the settlers, which maybe turned out to be a bad idea. Telling the settlers, hey, shoot us with these guns. It'll be cool. Turned out bad. They also did the you know, the polio blanket and wrap themselves smallpox blanket trick, but the disappearing population trick you get.

[Guest Caller]

Are there American Indian comedy clubs, reservations?

[Penn Jillette]

Although you know a lot of the stuff when you see the Washington Red Redskins and stuff. A lot of Native American comedians have been making comments on how come that's okay and not the other. Why isn't there, you know, the other racial slurs in there? But the bullet catch works like this. You get. And it's. Chung Ling Su died on stage at the London Palladium doing this. Houdini advertised he was going to do it and then was talked out of it as being too dangerous. The trick is essentially you take a bullet, have it signed by an audience member, put it into a gun fired, and it's caught in your teeth or it's caught in your hand. I think Criss angel just did it, catching his hand and did the gag. Like, Penn and Teller do this as a trick, but I'm doing it for real. Okay, Chris, thanks.

[David Wilde]

That made it so much better.

[Penn Jillette]

It's so much better. Yeah, it's so much better. Because when you're a magician, you should do things that aren't tricks. But we do a version of it. And when Chung Ling Su did it, he had this is not the way we do it. We do work, complicated version, but there's glass between us and it fires through. We do it every night at the Rio, and we have done it the most of anyone without dying. Is that some sort of.

[David Wilde]

So far.

[Penn Jillette]

So far, I'm not saying we're not going to. Although I want to say this is an important moral position. I don't believe that you should trade on the fact that stuff is really dangerous. We do a bullet catch that will scare you to death and is absolutely 100% safe. You should not come to the Penn and Teller Theatre expecting to see someone die. If that's the kind of. Of show you want to see, don't see us.

[Adam Carolla]

Isn't it interesting, though, that people do want to? Even though they know they're going to see magic, they. They. It ratchets it up for them if they can believe that what they're seeing is true.

[Penn Jillette]

Not our audience.

[Guest Caller]

Not our audience.

[Adam Carolla]

But there are.

[Penn Jillette]

Yes, there are sophisticated audiences. And Chung Ling Su, this is the part I love. Chung Ling Su had a malfunction in one of the props. So he got a person from the audience up on stage. London Palladium, I think it was London Palladium. Maybe another gig, sold out audience. Right. Saturday night, Chung Ling Su, who was actually From Scotland. He just, you know, it was very trendy to pretend to be Asian at that time. If you were doing magic, this is the early part of the 20th century. Gets a guy up from the audience. Guy from the audience signs the bullet. Guy from the audience loads the bullet into the gun. Guy from the audience fires the bullet into Chung Ling Su's face. Trick doesn't work. Shoots him in the face, kills him on stage. Now what I want to be is the police officer that goes and interviews the guy. Let me get this straight. Came on stage, thousand people, loaded the gun, signed the bullet, shot him in the face, now he's dead. Is that right? Yes. Okay, you can go. If we have any questions for you, we'll give you a call.

[David Wilde]

We know where to find you. It's a small village. We know where to find you.

[Brian Bishop]

Sure.

[Penn Jillette]

Yeah, we'll talk about it a little bit. Yeah, but we do.

[Guest Caller]

The Chung single's real name was Dick Cheney.

[Penn Jillette]

Yeah, exactly.

[Brian Bishop]

I believe.

[Penn Jillette]

Oh, my gosh. It was Bamberger, I think was his name. David Bamberger, but something like that. Yeah. And the other magician. Another magician died when he was doing it a really stupid way and having his wife miss the shot, essentially, and then switching the bullet out. This was a native American magician, and she shot him in the face and killed him, and then on stage, reloaded the gun and blew her own brains out.

[Adam Carolla]

What an amazing show.

[Penn Jillette]

Let me just tell you, if I happen to shoot Teller in the face, I won't be turning it around. But there have been a lot of. And the other one. And this is the one I'm most worried about. A man by the name of Willard, the wizard of the west, who was a 19th century Wild west texture character. Yeah, he would. He would do, you know, snake oil shows, essentially, and he would end his show with a bullet catch. And he was well known for it. And early in the show, someone stood up in the audience and said, hey, catch this. Shot him in the face. So I have been out in public when I've had, let's say, teenagers around 19, could be gang related, but I don't know. Say, hey, Patty, you the guy that catches the bullet? And I spin around and go, trick. It's a trick. It's a trick. It's a goddamn tricked. You want to see how it's done? Terrified. Because as safe as we are on stage, it's really important to tell people it's a trick. So I want to point out again that Criss Angel. Not a trick. He can really do it. But Penn And Teller. Trick, trick, trick.

[David Wilde]

A magician should never give up his secrets. Unless a 19 year old is possibly going to shoot him in the face with his own gun.

[Penn Jillette]

Absolutely. You know, we went in, we did a thing where we obliterated Teller's eyes, you know, and he went in and we had this doctor who was German and she put those kind of Clockwork Orange clamps on tell his eyes and.

[Guest Caller]

Then German doctors like to do that sort of thing.

[Penn Jillette]

And then put my family experience complete anesthetic in. So his eyes were just like rolling over on his head. And then she took injected. We were molding his eyes to do a thing where he gouged his eyes.

[Adam Carolla]

Wait, you mean like he was completely anesthetized?

[Penn Jillette]

No, no, just his eyes. So they're rolling around and then she puts this like putty in over his eyes. He's like this.

[David Wilde]

Jesus.

[Penn Jillette]

And all of a sudden she starts going. So the tricks you do, how are they telling us? What do you want to know? First of all, silent Teller is talking all you want. Also you got shit in his eyes. You're a German doctor. We will not hope. Just so you know, if anybody wants the secrets of the Pennateller show, just mention torture. There's no reason to actually do anything. You don't need to take the wire clippers and cut off a finger. We'll give it up right away. We have no secrets at all. But yes, we do the bullet catch and we, we've been doing it for years and we still close with it because you know when they did a thing on the best magic trick of all time, like over in Britain where they take magic more seriously, that was it.

[David Wilde]

Your act is Approximately how long? 90 minutes.

[Penn Jillette]

Yeah, I play an hour of jazz beforehand, then I do 90 minutes of magic.

[David Wilde]

And you must have more material than you have.

[Penn Jillette]

We have about five hours of active material.

[David Wilde]

So my question is, do you swap them out once in a while? Do you have one you stick with six. Yeah, exactly.

[Penn Jillette]

Six months or we can't really improvise or ad lib. Hey, see I got a gun here. What do you say? Walk over there.

[David Wilde]

You're not a jam band.

[Penn Jillette]

But we do rotate stuff and we also write new stuff. You know, you're supposed to get your act together, go to Vegas, then just do it again and again, play golf all day and die with the act. We don't do that. We write new stuff all the time. We have rehearsals all the time we're putting in. We'll probably be putting in before the end of the Year, another two bits and bits we've been working on for years. And there's no. There's no financial incentive to do that because people come through Vegas, they'll see the same show. No one else changes their show. But we do it because we want to.

[Guest Caller]

And it's the only show in Vegas I've paid for and enjoyed that had anything to do with magic.

[Brian Bishop]

I loved it. It.

[Guest Caller]

Cuz it's so smart and witty and all that. But I have to say, I've never. I've gone to the other big ones and I'm just. Does nothing for me.

[Penn Jillette]

Oh, yeah, Okay.

[Adam Carolla]

I just want to. Sorry, Changing the subject real quickly. I want to make an announcement that will be very meaningful to the listeners of the Adam Carolla show, which is the photos from Portland, which had been lost. People waited. They drove for hours and then they waited in line for hours. And then Adam took photos with I think 500 people or so. And then the memory card was just missing. We assumed Mike August might have eaten it. Anyway, they have been found and pen made it appear. That's right.

[Guest Caller]

Fantastic coincidence.

[Adam Carolla]

The camera card. I'm reading the camera card was found in the town car from that night. So you can see all the photos on the Facebook page. So irate fans and non irate fans. Good news. You can see your likeness on the Facebook page.

[Penn Jillette]

So he takes pictures with his camera at the. At the shindigs, huh?

[Adam Carolla]

No, actually they find local photographers.

[John Chan]

I see one photographer.

[Penn Jillette]

We meet everybody after the show and anybody can take pictures, but they usually have their own camera phone, you know, so we're out there for like ever.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Penn Jillette]

He's probably much more efficient.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, I believe that he did that for. I think I might have seen the back of his head out there too. I believe he did that for a while and then he realized that he could streamline the whole process by finding.

[Penn Jillette]

A local photographer and then putting it on Facebook.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah.

[Penn Jillette]

Although I think people like monkey with their own cameras too. I think will consider that. I'll talk to Adam. The funny thing is, see, I follow everything Adam does. You know, Adam goes on Dance with the Stars. I'm on Dance with the Stars, he goes on Celebrity Apprentice, I go on Celebrity Apprentice, he does a podcast. I do a podcast. He crowdfunds a movie. I'm crowdfunding a movie.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. What now? I keep seeing the hashtag MakePenBad.

[Penn Jillette]

MakePenBad.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, sorry, what's up with that?

[Penn Jillette]

I wrote a movie called Director's Cut which is very, very meta. It's about crowdfunding. And it's about a guy who crowdfunds a movie, steals all the footage from the movie, kidnaps the star of the movie, and then redoes the movie with his own director's commentary over the top. And I want to be a fucking bad guy. I really want to be.

[David Wilde]

Is it a horror film?

[Penn Jillette]

It is a thriller. It's a thriller. You know, Adam Rifkin directed it. Who did? Look and Chill Arama, you know, Adam Rifkin, Detroit Rock City and everything.

[Guest Caller]

And one of the best Kiss movies.

[Penn Jillette]

Yeah, one of the best. One of the best. One of the top five. And so we wanted to do this movie, and it's about crowdfunding. So you know how Blair Witch. A lot of the movie happened on the Internet. You know, you had a really good whole experience, word of mouth. Well, this thing we actually have, the bad guy in the movie is part of crowdfunding the movie. And he will be in the crowdfunding group, which is going very well. Adam has good ideas. It's like whenever there's a Starbucks, Quiznos doesn't do their own market research. They just open a Quiznos close enough to Starbucks. I just under any market research myself. Adam Carolla does something. I come in. Johnny doesn't come lately. I suck on his ass like Centipede and I go right in. So we're crowded. If you want to go fundanything.com same place Adam Carolla was doing it. Fundanything.com penn and it's director's gun, two NS, two ends. And you know, we are doing stupid rewards, you know, if you want. If you're the kind of guy that likes to scam things. We have rewards there that you get two tickets to, Penn and Teller, a suite at the Rio, all sorts of other stuff. The actual value that you get is actually you're not giving anything in the movie. It's actually more.

[Guest Caller]

You're getting more than full value.

[Penn Jillette]

And we had a lot of celebrities have gone on and done videos that showed.

[Brian Bishop]

Yes, I'm looking.

[Adam Carolla]

Jim Norton. Penn is bad. And was that Ron Jeremy?

[Penn Jillette]

That Ron Jeremy did one. We also had Neil Patrick Harris, Joan Rivers. We have coming up. This is a big deal. Glenn beck and Lawrence O' Donnell Jr. Did one together.

[Brian Bishop]

That's wow.

[Penn Jillette]

About how bad Penn is. It hasn't been up yet.

[Adam Carolla]

How did you arrange that?

[Penn Jillette]

Well, they're both buddies of mine. So Glenn Beck says, you know, Penn wants to be a bad guy.

[Brian Bishop]

Why?

[Penn Jillette]

So Lawrence o' Donnell will like him more. And then Lawrence o' Donnell says he wants to be a bad guy. Why? So Glenn Beck will like him more. There's Joan Rivers calling me an asshole. It's amazing. If you call all your celebrity friends and ask them to do a video about how much of an asshole you are, everybody comes through. They're in. They don't let you down. There's Lisa Lampanelli, who's good at calling anyone out.

[Guest Caller]

They've actually all been at the phone waiting for that call.

[Penn Jillette]

Absolutely. They've been begging for it. So the Fund anything dot com thing, I'm right on track with Adam Carolla.

[Brian Bishop]

We're both.

[Penn Jillette]

Oh, there's speaking of Will Admiral on the bridge.

[Guest Caller]

Shouldn't he really wait for the second hour?

[Penn Jillette]

I was just saying, Adam, everything you do, I follow your ass. I followed you on Dance with the Stars. I followed you on Celebrity Apprentice. I followed you on doing a podcast. Now I'm following you on Funday with Lynette. You followed. Did you like that whole experience?

[Brian Bishop]

Yes. I find it high praise because I find you to be one of the most intelligent, intuitive men on the planet. Now I'm just blowing smoke.

[Penn Jillette]

Thank you.

[Brian Bishop]

Through your ass, out your urethra, which is planted in my ass and thus seeping from my eyeballs.

[Penn Jillette]

Now it's a perfect. It's the infinity symbol of ass blowing smoke.

[Brian Bishop]

It's a snail.

[Adam Carolla]

It's like he's hot. Boxing his own hot air.

[Brian Bishop]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

In your ass.

[Brian Bishop]

No. It is funny when somebody says, that guy's a big fan, I go, yeah, that guy's a genius. He's a real sweet guy. Matt Nadol. Good luck. Hung like a pain. Can, like I do find myself complimenting cities and people who compliment me.

[Penn Jillette]

Yeah, but don't you like people more that like you?

[Brian Bishop]

Listen, Jimmy always makes fun of me and says, all you have to do is compliment Adam and you know, he's your best friend. And I'm like, yes.

[Penn Jillette]

Do you have anyone in your life? And I ask a lot of people this question. Do you have anybody in your life that does not absolutely, aggressively does not like you, that you think's a great person, Brian?

[Brian Bishop]

Probably. I think. I don't like you, Brian.

[Penn Jillette]

It's just my wife.

[Brian Bishop]

Somebody who aggressively doesn't like you. Doesn't like me. Oh, yeah.

[Penn Jillette]

You think is a great guy, great person, great bandwoman?

[Brian Bishop]

No, I know. I'd have to find. I'd have to. I'm sure they could tell me, you know, I'm sure, you know, I mean, if I found them and they would tell Me, I'm sure. I'm sure Bono thinks I'm a horrible dude. I have a friend, if he even knows me.

[Penn Jillette]

I have a friend who I was so in awe of, who was saying that they were talking about someone, kind of a mutual friend. Not in a gossipy way, but just kind of talking. And he said, this guy, Joe Blow, he really, really doesn't like me. What a great, smart guy. I just love him. And I just thought that was so hip. And so I've noticed. And there are the one person in my life who is really a great guy and who called me up to bust me on something I'd done. And I realized that everything he said about me that was wrong, that I had done wrong, was 100% correct. And I said to him, I agree with you. I've really treated you badly. You're a wonderful person.

[Adam Carolla]

You didn't even get the tiniest bit defensive.

[Penn Jillette]

You know, I didn't. I mean, I guess I did, but then I broke through it. I think it's a really good exercise, Adam, just as you're. You know, I'm kind of your life coach.

[Brian Bishop]

Yes.

[Penn Jillette]

You always seen me that way. I think what you should do is your life coach. No, no, you are my career coach.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, life coach.

[Penn Jillette]

I'm your life coach. I suggest for you that you find someone who doesn't like you and find all the good stuff about them you can.

[Brian Bishop]

All the good things that I can think of, actually. I had a therapist tell me this.

[Penn Jillette]

Did you really?

[Brian Bishop]

Before. But, you know, take this in the spirit in which it's intended. I don't think Penn Jillette was put on this planet to be liked.

[Penn Jillette]

Okay. Okay.

[Brian Bishop]

You know what I mean?

[David Wilde]

Well, like, what spirit is that intended in?

[Brian Bishop]

Puppies and throw pillows are here to be liked, you know, and Pen is not here to be liked. I don't know. There's many greats from Churchill to Patton that were not here put here to be liked. I don't feel like you were here to be liked.

[Penn Jillette]

Churchill, Patton, Gillette.

[Brian Bishop]

That's your chance. Not in that order. I have Churchill, Gillette. Patton. Sounds like a great shaving device, doesn't it? Oh, man. Nine blades. Yeah. No, you're. I. When I think of you, when I think of Penn Jillette, and I hope.

[Penn Jillette]

It'S late at night, I do, but.

[Brian Bishop]

It'S all into the. Into the wee hours as well. I don't think, man, that's a swell guy. Or I'd really like to, you know, ride a bicycle Built for two. Well, Especially this fat ass. I mean. Yeah. Or, you know, do the straw thing where we share the same malt. I just think that's a guy.

[Penn Jillette]

Or the spaghetti lane the tramp.

[Brian Bishop]

Or the spaghetti landing the tramp. I think that's a guy who works really hard, has a lot of passions, is a really interesting guy, really well rounded guy. A guy who's very curious and very interested in life and who talks and basically will talk better than you can do. You can talk magic better than you and play the stand up bass better than you. But I don't think nice guy. I think interesting guy.

[Penn Jillette]

That was never really.

[Brian Bishop]

Wouldn't you rather be thought of as interesting guy than nice guy?

[Penn Jillette]

Now, you know, I'm really doing this whole being a bad guy for my movie thing, so I've been thinking about this a lot. I've been thinking about being a bad guy.

[Brian Bishop]

I've been. I saw your fund anything thing, and I must say, impressive, the amount of money, I don't know, sneaking up on 800 grand. Now, I know the amount was like 900, $987,000 or something, but I thought that's just Penn Jillette being interesting. Right?

[Adam Carolla]

Was interesting the word that you thought at the time?

[Brian Bishop]

No, I did, I did. I did. I thought. I don't.

[Penn Jillette]

You're really trying to stir up shit, aren't you?

[Brian Bishop]

That's her deal. I said I didn't think douchey or anything. I just said, oh, no, that's smart. Like, that's funny. Like, everyone says a million dollars, but this is very specific. Comedy is specific. And it also makes it seem he.

[Guest Caller]

Gives you change back for your million.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, it's like if a plumber says, I'll replace the main line for eight grand. You go, oh, please. But if he goes 798, 47, then you go, okay, he must know something.

[Penn Jillette]

There's the part. He knows what the part is. He's added on his hourly fees, done.

[Brian Bishop]

The math, taxes and whatever. He's done it.

[Penn Jillette]

When you go to a store, you buy a Big Mac. It doesn't. About three bucks, right? There's an amount. It actually is.

[Brian Bishop]

Right. And the, the price for this one is.

[Adam Carolla]

Is it on there or is my $999,972 right?

[Brian Bishop]

Like, he thought about it.

[Penn Jillette]

I did.

[Brian Bishop]

That's what I like about it.

[Penn Jillette]

And you know, we can do. We can do the movie, as you know very well, we can do the movie a little cheaper. It's just what star we have. You are the star of your Movie, Right?

[Brian Bishop]

Yes.

[Penn Jillette]

I'm the bad guy of my movie.

[Brian Bishop]

Right.

[Penn Jillette]

So we need a female lead is really the hero of the whole movie right here in front of you.

[Brian Bishop]

Did you find, off topic, Penn Jillette, did you find it insanely ironic that at some point when we did Celebrity Apprentice in the first season and somebody was in the van and they said, this is not my forte, and you corrected them and you said, fort, and everyone looked at you. My grandmother used to say, or d', oeuvre. And I'd look at her and she'd go, that's how it's pronounced. And I'd go, right. Except for everyone at the party thinks you're an asshole. Like, you may be technically. Right. You're in an elevator, and everyone thinks you farted. And even though you didn't, it doesn't matter. And he said it, and I remember thinking, is it forte? Forte. Then people talked about it. You explained yourself.

[Penn Jillette]

Forte is for music or forte is the Italian. The American pronunciation of the word for strength is fort. It is not my fort.

[Brian Bishop]

Later on, you ended up switching teams to a team called forte.

[Penn Jillette]

Yeah. Or fort. Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

And that's insane, isn't it?

[Penn Jillette]

The nice thing about it is every single time I said it, I said fort, but no one even noticed. And they edited it out because that's just Penn being a fool.

[Brian Bishop]

And I know this is well traveled, but the whole Steve Jobs thing was one of those things. And if you want to know how much I respect Penn Jillette, it's probably the reason I got kicked off Celebrity Apprentice, because we got briefed like you get briefed. Here's the rules.

[Penn Jillette]

You're misremembering.

[Brian Bishop]

Please tell.

[Penn Jillette]

You got thrown off for one simple reason. They wanted the Andretti name associated with the car. We put you as the head, and at that point, no matter how good your presentation was, you had already been thrown off the show. I did understand that at the time, but I was against you. I thought your presentation was not that good on paper. And then you got up there and you did. And I'm saying this with no exaggeration, you may be the only one in Celebrity Apprentice history that actually did a task that if that task had been done in the real world, the real clients would have really paid you for what you really did. You stood up and talked about a car in a way that looked like you built the fucking thing. And you were funny and you were terrific, and I was against you. And as you recall, I argued with you about every hunk of the way and Then when you finished the presentation, I said, that was perfect. If I was being paid $300,000 to present a car to the world. If they said, we need Penn & Teller, 300 grand in Vegas, do a magic trick and present this car, I would call you up and I would say, Adam, I got 50 grand. That's what I'm getting. I can give you 30 of it. Would you go up and do the. All the talking and we'll do some schmucky trip?

[Brian Bishop]

I agree that it came out fantastically. And then they cut it up and then they're like, well, we like the ladies presentation a little better. That's the frustrating part, because I know they did.

[Penn Jillette]

Just saying, pretending that it was that you did a one person thing because of Steve Jobs and all of that. You did perfectly. What you did wrong was he wanted Andretti because I believe there was some sort of deal made where they said, we'll get you Andretti's name on your car.

[Brian Bishop]

I had a funny moment or interesting moment. I interviewed Michael Andretti and Mario Andretti last weekend, actually last Friday. Just went over to Fontana where they're doing the kart race and IndyCar race, and interviewed both of them. And I hadn't seen Michael since we were debriefed in the cafe. Now what they do is they take you down. I guess like any situation, possibly like a hostage situation, there's a debriefing. They don't just throw you out into the wild, you know, and we. You have to decompress. And we went down and met the producers in the cafe, and he didn't know he was going to get tossed off. I was the one who sort of thought I was going to take a bullet for the team, but they tossed him as well. And he just sat there.

[Penn Jillette]

They tossed him to punish you.

[Brian Bishop]

Right.

[Penn Jillette]

So you wouldn't look like a hero, because you were a hero.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, thank you.

[Penn Jillette]

You were.

[Brian Bishop]

You just said, I was just missing my.

[Penn Jillette]

I'll take the blame.

[Brian Bishop]

I was missing my cable. Well, listen, I felt like, look, if this is Steve Jobs, I'm gonna be Steve Jobs, and if the presentation doesn't go well, I'll be thrown off this thing. But I knew I would kick ass.

[Penn Jillette]

And I'll get cancer.

[Brian Bishop]

And I did kick ass, and then I got kicked off anyway. But I said I'd made and. But if you think about it, and I do, this wasn't. It's an interesting thing, which is if somebody says to you, david Wilde, this is going to be. This dissertation is gonna Be just on the wallflowers and Bob Dylan. And we need somebody in the group to get up there and do a presentation. Now you'd think to yourself, well, I'm gonna crush this thing. This is what I know. Or pen. This is gonna be magic.

[Penn Jillette]

And you're thinking, it is the only time in the history of Celebrity Apprentice where one of the fucking losers on the show knew something about the subject they were gonna handle.

[Brian Bishop]

Right. It's the only time it would have been strategically strong. And I must say, I'm not good enough to think this way. I thought of it later on, but it would be smart for David to say to everybody, if we lose, I leave alone. None of you are coming back to the boardroom. Knowing that he would get some goodwill with the crew from that gesture, also knowing he was gonna clean up on the wallflowers trivia.

[Penn Jillette]

But you're still.

[Brian Bishop]

You know what I'm saying?

[Guest Caller]

Can I do my presentation now?

[Brian Bishop]

Yes.

[Penn Jillette]

You're still making a mistake, Adam.

[Brian Bishop]

Yes.

[Penn Jillette]

You didn't need goodwill. You had goodwill from the team. The only person who argued with you on anything was me, and you won me over. You didn't need goodwill. You didn't need skill. What they promised was Andretti would lead that, you know, and he.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, I spoke to Michael, who still had a thousand yard stare when I saw him in Fontana just six days ago. And he forgot about the one little part. There's two little parts that made that going away brunch very uncomfortable. One is, it was me and Michael, and Michael's a man of few words. And we sat there and eventually, I think I said it in the boardroom, but there were, you know, when they kept going, michael, you're an Andretti. Why don't you talk? Why don't you? And I said, the guy wears a helmet for a living. He's a player. He's not a fantasy football nerd. The guys in the NFL don't know anything about the NFL. It's all the skinny dudes who play fantasy football. Who are the nerds? Those are the guys who do the talking. Those are the guys who keep the stats. These are guys who play the game. He wears the helmet on.

[Penn Jillette]

If you were a smart guy doing that, you would have the guy who's a good talker and a professional comedian who knew cars inside out, be the head of the team, put the presentation together, do most of the talking, and then use Andretti as someone he would interview on stage. That's what you would do if you were the smart guy. Doing that.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, I tried, but they said, we're eating the brunch. And the two producers were like sitting there and it was like a little tension. And he's sitting there kind of deer in the headlights. Like, what happened? I wasn't even in this thing. Like, how'd I get thrown out? And so at a certain point, one of the female producers said, like, well, you know, Michael, I don't think Donald wanted to throw you out. But I mean, just after the presentation, and he, like stopped and he went, was I that bad? And they both just had that look of truth, that momentary truth where they went like, ugh. And then they sort of, you know, it's like, moment. But the thing I reminded him of in his multi million dollar race trailer over the weekend was, you remember the last thing that happened? He said, no. I said, remember? They both handed us cards for therapists and they said, you know, you can do this.

[David Wilde]

Ptsd.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, you literally.

[Penn Jillette]

No, they didn't.

[Brian Bishop]

They literally handed us cards and said, this is the name of a therapist. You know, you can, you know, this is, you know, you get it punched like you're buying sub sandwiches. But it's good for like five outings.

[Guest Caller]

A support group for people who've been thrown off the show.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, like, literally. I don't know if we had to go at the same time.

[Penn Jillette]

When I was thrown out, there was a. They. They didn't know I was going to be thrown off. Donald changed his mind in the room.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, like the producers.

[Penn Jillette]

When I came out, there was no crew for me. There was no crew to watch me walk in the elevator. And so they said to me, you know, we want to have this lunch with you tomorrow and talk. And I said, well, no, you need to talk to me now because I've already made a call to Vegas. I have a show tomorrow night. I have to get back. Because you know, when you've got a 1500 seat theater sitting empty in Las Vegas, there's a certain amount of tick tock involved in getting back. And every night when we go in the boardroom, there were five people in a room in Vegas waiting for me to call, ready to pump up the show for the next night because we could just sell it out if we pumped it up. So I said, no, I've already done this. You know, I'm off on a plane. I can't meet you for brunch. And they said, well, we just want to give you a chance to decompress and talk about this. And I said, well, consider that done.

[Brian Bishop]

Yes.

[Penn Jillette]

You know, but, Michael, I hope you.

[Brian Bishop]

Worked a maniacal laugh into the character in the movie. That's gonna work.

[Penn Jillette]

Yeah, my laugh. You know, when I told Teller I was doing a crowdfunded movie on fund anything and I was gonna play the bad guy, Teller just all you gotta do is laugh. He said, since I've been working with you for 38 years of the first day I met you, when you do that Wicked Witch of the west cackle. He said, the hate that wells up in my heart, he said, every second. You know, we did the Aristocrats, one of the things we had to do was we spent $100,000 with sound people going through digitally and pulling out. That's all there was, all the way. Because I'm holding the camera, you know, and they're doing the jokes for me. So, you know, when you. When you want to get the best out of a comedian, you want to laugh.

[Guest Caller]

That's the exact amount that they took, taking out the cocaine from Neil Young's.

[Penn Jillette]

Nose nose in Last Wall. It's the exact amount all around there. Exactly.

[Guest Caller]

They didn't remove the cocaine from Penn.

[Penn Jillette]

No, there's no cocaine. But yes, that's a very famous story.

[Brian Bishop]

Penn doesn't pen. Doesn't do drugs. Penn doesn't drink. Penn never did drugs. Penn never drank. Yeah.

[Penn Jillette]

Isn't that stupid? And every time I say that, why.

[Brian Bishop]

Be a huge dude and not get shit faced? Every time I feel like it's a waste of your frame.

[Penn Jillette]

It absolutely is. As a matter of fact, one person, people say, you know, why are you bragging about that? And I always say, I'm not bragging, I'm reporting. But Trey Parker has always said to me, always said to me, you'd be so much better if you got high, man. You would be so much better. A lot of other people say to me, you know, oh, that's so good that you do that. You get a lot done. It keeps. Keeps you on the edge. Trey Parker says just the opposite. He said, the worst thing about you is that you don't do drugs. You need to do drugs. I got so lucky, I went to the dentist, okay? And they were doing this heavy duty, like, root canal thing, and the doctor made a mistake. And the doctor said to the nurse how much he had just given me of this Valium or something, whatever it.

[Brian Bishop]

Was, Propofol is what they would give.

[Penn Jillette]

Whatever they were given. He told the nurse how much he had given, and she misunderstood it as, this is how much you should give them. So they doubled the Dose on me, okay? And they got me with the dentist. And I was so fucking high. And I said, I said to my wife, I said, call Trey Parker. And he happened to be in Vegas. So Trey Parker is the only person who's hung out with me high. And I didn't remember anything. I talked to the next day and he said, I was right. You were better. You should be high all the time. We had such fun.

[Brian Bishop]

You would all be better if you use DraftKings. That's right. DraftKings.com, america's favorite one week fantasy football league. And win instant cash every week, every game, no big lawn, out long, drawn out. By the way. I know I was. Stop me if I'm wrong. Penn Jillette in a room with you. Dee Schneider, George Takei and Clay Aiken. Clay Aiken, Clay Aiken. And Donald Trump said, I'm gonna get my buddy Bob Kraft and bring him back here. You guys can all shake his hand. And I was the only human being in the room who knew Robert Kraft, the owner of the Patriots.

[David Wilde]

Good stuff.

[Brian Bishop]

It was. They all had a separate. Oh, no, Paul.

[Penn Jillette]

I can't tell Paul Tuttle. Paul Tuttle didn't know either.

[Brian Bishop]

The point is, there was a reason. There was biker, gay, magic geek. Like there was rocker. There was a reason. There's a specific reason why certain groups.

[Adam Carolla]

A dream team of people who don't know who he is.

[Brian Bishop]

A murderous row of people who don't know anything about sports.

[Penn Jillette]

I have wanted to tell that story and I've never been able to. Why? Can't remember the name.

[Brian Bishop]

Yes.

[Penn Jillette]

Or what he did.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. Well, owns the Patriots is what he does. And wears two tone shirts, cuff and collar.

[Adam Carolla]

So, Adam, I announced this earlier, but I don't know if you know that the photo were found.

[Brian Bishop]

You do know.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay.

[Brian Bishop]

Yes, we can. Just for comic effect, we can show you guys the line. Or maybe they have or haven't already, but this is Mike August. I think you can see this at the Mangria Facebook page. But the comedy is in Portland. Mike held his phone over his head. Now it's the same guy who lost the key card or the picture card or whatever it was, the chip or the memory card. But just so you can see the number of people who I took a photo with. And then all for not essentially the black guy's just a guy hired to come with me to all the events to try to round it out a little bit. Tell him, you know, give me a hug, be real enthusiastic and do that when you come to the front of the line. But he now walked.

[David Wilde]

Start out with a handshake, but work it into the.

[Brian Bishop]

Work it into the bro hug. He now walked out. All of these people are in line to take a picture with me and get a bottle of Mangria. And they all take a picture with me, and then all the pictures are lost. And that was part of the scuttlebutt, because this thing kept going. It was the biggest turnout or second biggest turnout we've had. It was unbelievable. And we told everyone, don't worry, we'll have your pictures and put your cameras away or put your cell phones away. And the guy said he handed it off to Mike. Mike said he never got it, but we found it in the back of the Town Car.

[Adam Carolla]

Did the Town Car company call, do you know?

[Brian Bishop]

I don't know how it was found. The guy who drove the Town Car was very enthusiastic. He probably heard me talking about him.

[David Wilde]

What's done is done. But the fact that it was found in the Town Car clearly means it was in August possession for some period of time.

[Brian Bishop]

Yes. Now, Mike will say. And it's easy to do if you're in the middle, if you're engaged with somebody and somebody goes, hey, here, hold this. Or take this. I imagine I could probably get kilos and kilos of heroin in from Mexico back to la. If you just. I just got talking to Penn Jillette and you handed it to me and went, could you bring this? And I'd just go, yeah, all right. And I just nod, like, so they could have just handed it to him, especially when I could have shoved it in his pocket.

[Adam Carolla]

I would think that people are giving you things all the time through Mike. Like, fans are handing stuff to Mike to give to you. And he might not have put it together what it was that he was rece.

[Brian Bishop]

People hand me stuff, and I start signing it and handing it back to them, and they're like, no, that's my grandfather's prosthetic limb. I wanted you to have it or something. Whatever it is.

[Adam Carolla]

Like this photo of the Facts of Life with me Photoshopped in.

[Brian Bishop]

Right. This fan gave you a gift. You just start. Sometimes it's weird. There's a. You guys know, there's the gray area where someone hands you a baseball cap, and you don't know if you're supposed to put it on or sign it, hand it back.

[Penn Jillette]

There's a very. There's a story, kind of an embarrassing story of Roy. Of Siegfried and Roy by a few embarrassing stories. Yeah. Who met the Pope who met the Pope. And, you know, Siegfried Roy, unlike Penn and Teller, are Catholics, and they met the Pope, and Roy handed the Pope a ring, a very, very nice, expensive ring. And the Pope took it from Roy and said, thank you, thank you. And put it in his little pulp chest.

[Brian Bishop]

Right.

[Penn Jillette]

Pope chest, I guess what you call it. That little place that he put gifts that people gave him.

[Brian Bishop]

Popery.

[Penn Jillette]

And Roy. Roy stood there and went, no, no, bless it and give it back.

[Brian Bishop]

Right.

[Penn Jillette]

And aggressively to the Pope. And it was a. It's a story that Siegfried Roy tell all the time. I mean, it seems like if you. If you gave a good God damn about the Pope, it seems like when he took that ring and put it in the Pope chest, you would just say, well, I lost, that. It was a bad call, but not Roy. Roy came right back and said, bless it, give it back.

[Brian Bishop]

In terms of things you can write off, probably if we did it, I don't think we'd get away with it.

[Guest Caller]

What's the trophy ring that.

[David Wilde]

No, it was. Bob Kraft had a championship ring and give it to Putin and supposedly Putin pocketed it. That's an urban legend. But supposedly it happened.

[Brian Bishop]

Yes.

[Guest Caller]

No, I believe it's true.

[Brian Bishop]

All right.

[Penn Jillette]

I hope the Roy thing isn't an urban legend. Although I heard it from Siegfried, so it seemed. Well, that's still a friend of a friend.

[Brian Bishop]

How are those guys?

[Penn Jillette]

He got his head bit off by a fucking tiger. You tell me, how is he?

[Brian Bishop]

Well, how were they?

[Penn Jillette]

You mean their show?

[Brian Bishop]

Well, first off, I've been to their show.

[Penn Jillette]

I kick. I kick off my book. You know, every day's an atheist holiday. The paperback. I kick off the book with a writing about Siegfried Roy. I did not like their magic. I did not like the music. I did not like the staging. I did not like the costumes. I did not like the choreography. But it was one of my favorite shows I've ever seen because they walked out on stage. You know, Allen Ginsberg said, the poet stands naked on stage. There's that feeling you get when you see whether you're talking about Jonathan Richmond or Liberace. There's that feeling that a person who walks out on stage and is not at all guarded, you know exactly what I'm talking about. But it's just standing there and you get the feeling like, this is the way they looked at 12 years old in front of their mirror going, I'll be doing a show in Vegas. It's something you've never had for a moment, Adam. You're always self aware you're always smart. There's always something you're thinking about when you're performing. But I'm talking about the people that walk on stage.

[Brian Bishop]

Thanks. I think.

[Penn Jillette]

No, no, it is. I'm talking about this drum.

[Brian Bishop]

Wait, I just did the math. You love my jokes. You love my content, you love my tone. You hate my show. Ooh.

[Adam Carolla]

See people you like about him.

[Brian Bishop]

That's right.

[Penn Jillette]

You want to see what I mean? There's a kind of. There's a kind of baby brutal honesty. Brutal honesty of just, you know, I'm here wearing a yak coat, right? And I have a cod piece and my hair is dyed seven different colors, right? And Michael Jackson is playing insipid music and I have a bunch of 40 year old dancers next to me who are pushing a big box out that I bought. And yet I'm completely naked. There's nothing protecting me from you. And that part of it was just so beautiful to me. I just loved it.

[Brian Bishop]

And how were they? I mean, do you ever go to their house and swim with their tigers and stuff?

[Penn Jillette]

You know, this is the thing about Siegfried and Roy. They were so fucking professional. They were a level of professional that I can never, never even touch. I mean, I would go on Stern, you know, and I would trash them. Just trash every single thing about them, you know, I would trash how they look, trash their act, make, you know, probably slightly homophobic references about them fucking tigers. Just anything inappropriate possible. I swear to you, I get back to Vegas next day, two o' clock in the afternoon. Phone rings. Thank you very much for your mentions on the Howard Stern Show. We appreciate so much you talking about us.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, were they?

[Penn Jillette]

Every single time. And you couldn't say anything. You could say, you know, it wasn't Lee Harvey Oswald Kennedy shot by Siegfried Roy. Thank you so much what you said earlier, no such thing as bad press. And we'd show up, man, we would show up at these fucking red carpet, you know, things in Vegas, you know, and Siegfried Roy would show up, makeup and hair done and wearing, you know, dressing gowns and looking like this. And I would show up like this, looking like I was there to fix the toilets. And, you know, there's this sense that I tried to tell myself, you know.

[Brian Bishop]

What my mom would say, by the way, were the toilets broken? And then you'd have to reset the entire fucking conversation. No, the toilets weren't broken. Then she'd go, why'd you say the toilets were broken? I'm saying I was dressed like the guy. Well, where was the Guy, just listen to the fucking story, whore. But that's what it would be like.

[Penn Jillette]

But, you know, there's a sense that I used to have that that was a humble way to do it. If you showed up in just regular clothes, you were humble. And then I realized that it's absolutely the opposite. That is the most pretentious thing you can do. I don't have to do makeup and get dressed up. Just me showing up. I'm such a fucking star. I can be here in a work shirt. So when Roy got his head bit off by the fucking tiger and went to the greatest trauma unit in the world, which is. Las Vegas has the greatest trauma unit. No place else on earth would Roy have lived. Okay? And I rushed over to the hospital, and Siegfried asked me if I would do the media stuff. Because, of course, they were too upset to talk. And they put me on, which is very weird.

[Brian Bishop]

How bad was he initially?

[Penn Jillette]

He got his head bit off by a fucking tiger. How many times have I say that when you're talking about ailments? Okay. Head bit off by a fucking tiger. Way above prostate cancer. Not even in the ballpark.

[Guest Caller]

If Adam's head were bit off by a tiger, would you do the media for him?

[Penn Jillette]

Yeah, I would talk about. I always loved Adam's head bit up a fucking tiger. So what I did, I spent two days at the hospital doing this stuff and hanging out. It was a horrible time. And then I went to Versace, and I bought the most expensive leather pants they had, and I bought a really nice shirt. And the next time I did a red carpet thing, I showed up dressed nice to show respect for Roy. Cause that's what you're supposed to do in show business. We both should be wearing ruffled shirts. We should have a glove on. We should have sequins on our face. We should be doing show business business properly. Not fucking two guys that look like they're there to fix the toilet.

[Brian Bishop]

Does Versace have a lumberjack section? Like, I don't feel like they have your size. They have suede jeans.

[Penn Jillette]

Surprisingly, there are fat guys.

[Brian Bishop]

I don't mean fat. I just mean huge.

[Penn Jillette]

Dude, seven. I'm £300. I'm a bad guy in the movie.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. Oh, that's right. Fund anything. Everybody. Almost. Well, they're knocking on the door. Well, by the time you hear this, they'll be way past 800 grand, heading toward 1 million.

[Guest Caller]

I'm not too late to get in on this, then. If I want to buy in, I'm buying in.

[Penn Jillette]

But you can Be a corpse. You can buy a roll. You can do all. We got some great, great things there. You know, you can. You can get, you know, a suite at the Rio with tickets to our show and be a dead guy and come over my house. You can do all sorts of stuff.

[Brian Bishop]

Penn Sunday school as well. Heard on this network if you like, and itunes as well. Well, I'm still curious about Siegfried and Roy. I want to know first off, how so you believe if this happened in Vancouver, this headbut off the X ray, he'd be dead?

[Penn Jillette]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

In almost any other city in the world.

[Penn Jillette]

And the reasons for this are not that good. But we have. Right in Vegas there on Charleston, we have a trauma unit. And you know, we work for Caesars. We were at the Rio, we work for Caesars. And they gave a huge amount of money to the trauma unit. So they sent Penn and Teller over to donate the money to the. So we brought the money. So I got the full tour of the Vegas trauma unit. And when you're taken into a trauma unit, the guys that are there, these are heroes. I mean, these are the best people on earth. And they tell me.

[Brian Bishop]

So that's a two part.

[Penn Jillette]

They tell you if you can get in the door still breathing, they can keep you alive. Once again, he did not get to there.

[Brian Bishop]

Tupac did not get through. He was not breathing. I have to look at him. I don't know. He got shot so much. I could never figure out which time he recovered from.

[Penn Jillette]

There's one person who, when you go in there, it's a small woman who just jumps on the gurney and cuts all your clothes off. And they can have your full chest opened in 30 seconds from coming through the front door. It's a stop. But then they say to you, because these guys are heroes, but they work with this burn unit and trauma unit all the time. They say, we're gonna take you up to the rooms and as you're walking by, kind of try to look in because you'll see some amazing work that we've done. We've got this person who's burned on 90% of their body. See if you can get a look. If they're awake, you can go. So tell we have to be Penn and Teller, right? Because Penn and Teller do gory stuff. And we're supposed to be fairly tough guys. And the trauma unit guys are talking to us, us because they've seen the effects we do. They're talking to us like we are their peers, which we're not. We're throwing you know, Karo syrup with food coloring in it. We're not actually, there's no real damage. So we're seeing kids walking in and seeing children who are burned all over and going, hi, want to see a magic trick? It's horrible.

[Brian Bishop]

My only thing with burned over 90% of their body is, is 92% of those stories were followed with. And we all have this too. He goes, Man, 32 year old man was burned over 90% of his body. And they go, he was huffing propane gas in a Winnebago. And then there's part of you that goes dumb shit. And then you feel good about yourself for a second again.

[Penn Jillette]

I asked the big honcho there, I asked the big honcho, I said, because you know when you don't drink and you don't do drugs, there's a little bit of, bit of security and smugness that, that huffing propane is not going to happen to you.

[Brian Bishop]

Right?

[Penn Jillette]

So I said to him, and it's leading the witness, the question I'm asking is, I'm trying to find out, you know, what percentage are drug or alcohol related. And he knows that I've been sober my whole life, so he knows what I'm asking for.

[Brian Bishop]

So I go, let's just call that a puss. By the way, being sober, I want you to have an episode where you take, you know, you, you go all Randall Tex Cobb. Like you get a crossbow and you don't know Randall Tex Cobb is all right.

[Adam Carolla]

Randall, who's some magician who had an episode of drunkenness. That's legendary, no?

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, Randall Tex Cobb, you may remember from Raising Arizona.

[David Wilde]

He's a boxer turned actor. He's a very recognizable character.

[Brian Bishop]

He's a guy famously got Howard Cosell out of boxing. Howard Cosell watched Larry Holmes in your backyard of Las Vegas beat Randall Tex Cobb so badly for 15 rounds without them stopping the fight and without Randall going down that he just literally said, I'm not going to commentate on boxing anymore. And I believe that's the story. But Randall Tex Cobb was once arrested for getting up on the roof of his dorm room somewhere at some college in Texas where he played football. Football and shooting flaming arrows from a crossbow. So I'm saying I like he was.

[Guest Caller]

With Ted Nugent at the time.

[Brian Bishop]

I love crazy stories. And then you have to stop drinking.

[Penn Jillette]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

So you just never drank?

[Penn Jillette]

No, no, there's no good.

[Brian Bishop]

But I asked the trauma, I asked.

[Penn Jillette]

The trauma guy, what percentage of people here are alcohol and drug related?

[Brian Bishop]

He said, 100% Ian now conversation meaning you could have been T boned by a drunk driver.

[Penn Jillette]

Absolutely, absolutely. But he said we have not had anyone in this year. Now of course he's exaggerating, of course there's hyperbole. He said if you are not drinking or doing drugs and you're not around anyone who is, you will never see in here.

[Brian Bishop]

That's makes, that makes sense.

[Penn Jillette]

And again, there's a lot of college students getting very drunk and diving into things they don't know how to deep. It is a lot of broken necks.

[Brian Bishop]

And stuff I've heard you want to talk about just like the most bizarre. There should be a show called the Most Bizarre Six and a Half Seconds of youf Life. But it was a bunch of college students partying in like Fort Lauderdale doing a thing where they were up on their balcony of the 32nd floor of their whatever suite and they were all shit faced and they were doing a tobacco spit competition. And of course I'm sure it started with the first guy sort of gingerly leaning over the railing and spitting. And the next guy getting a running start. And 15 minutes in a guy ran a little too hard at the balcony, spat and went over the top of the balcony. And all those other six shit faced guys on the balcony could do for that six and a half seconds was just scream oh my God. As loud as anyone could possibly do it. Could you imagine the sobering effect of seeing like your 19 year old bunny this happened? I remember hearing this. You guys can look for this. I remember hearing this in the news years ago, like 20 years ago. It was like spring break, Daytona Beach, I don't know where multi stories, you know, whatever the lethal amount is.7 and up,6 and up, whatever it is, but way up. I remember hearing it was at least into the teens and the guy just went over the railing in a tobacco spitting competition. You're like, of course, why not? The guy could have been 6, 4, the railing is 36 inches and he's shitface and trying to win this competition. A woman has never died in this endeavor by the way. That much I can prove you. I'll bet there's some bald dude down below who got spat upon who's like that's the most fucked up seagull in the world. Or who said thinking moments later, good.

[David Wilde]

No, he's thinking, no, that's the most fucked up seagull in the world.

[Penn Jillette]

Actually thinking, well, wishing works.

[Brian Bishop]

Yes, yes. I was kind of wishing he'd be paralyzed, not actually killed. But yeah, I remember that story. And it just. What were those guys thinking while he was in the air? You know what I mean? It wasn't even the part where he hit the ground and they all went, oh, shit.

[Penn Jillette]

You have those. I mean, you race cars. So you have moments when you think you're gonna die.

[Brian Bishop]

No.

[Penn Jillette]

Every month, don't you?

[Brian Bishop]

No, I just have.

[Penn Jillette]

You just.

[Brian Bishop]

There's little holy shit moments on occasion, but not. Not I'm gonna die. Just.

[Penn Jillette]

You don't really think this is. This is it.

[Brian Bishop]

No, no, no, no, no Ron Howard movie.

[Penn Jillette]

Don't they try to say that 20% of the people die or something?

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, but they're driving, and they're also.

[Penn Jillette]

That's lie, right? It's not 20%.

[Brian Bishop]

They're driving F1 cars, and they're driving F1 cars back in the day when there's. And you'll probably appreciate this, Penn. I hope you will. There's a time now motorsports, and I don't drive new cars. I drive vintage cars. So there maybe is a little added element of danger. But sports had an element of danger, and that was intentional. Back in the day, race car drivers were daredevils. They were out risking their lives. That was part of the deal and.

[Penn Jillette]

Part of what I don't like about it. But, yes, go.

[Brian Bishop]

That's what made these guys idols, though. The fact that if somebody said, hey, man, you could go out there and really fuck up a cuticle, it's no big deal. But if you're out cheating death, then it's a big deal when you come back. And if you look, I was watching. Somebody sent me just F1 race from the 50s. I think it was like 1955. In 1955, these guys were jumping in these cars with skinny tires and big fuel tanks on each side of them. Just literally a beanbag chair made of fuel that they would sit in. And it didn't have a bladder or foam or anything. If it got pierced or punctured, the gas would fly everywhere. They would catch on fire. They had helmets that just went above their ears and then a little leather that sort of went down below their ears. It was like wearing a spaghetti colander with a little leather and stuff like that. But I'll tell you what, almost none of the cars had a roll bar, a simple piece of metal that went higher than their head. Now, at this point in 1955, we were a decade past the ball turret gunner From World War II in the B17s, flying forged or whatever we were flying that had a ball turret in it, meaning a guy in the belly of an airplane with a Lucite ball that turned 360 degrees and however many degrees up and down with 50 caliber machine guns so he could shoot at German aircraft that went speeding by, he can control the whole thing through the ball. We had technology is what I'm saying. We had jet aircraft, we had the atomic bomb, we had refrigeration, we had things. We built the Golden Gate Bridge. We couldn't figure out the piece of tube that went a little bit higher, just a little bit higher than the dude's head.

[David Wilde]

Sometimes it's the most obvious thing.

[Brian Bishop]

No, the guys who wore. Guys who had the piece of tube were considered pussy. I think that's how it worked. They didn't want to be out there. Just like hockey players didn't want to have the helmets on.

[Penn Jillette]

They were on a tobacco spitting contest.

[Brian Bishop]

That's right.

[David Wilde]

To that point earlier, have you guys ever had the moment. That's a good, interesting question. Have you guys ever had that moment in your life where you witnessed something and right or wrong, you said to yourself, well, that guy's dead. And maybe he wasn't. Or maybe he was. But have you guys ever had that moment?

[Penn Jillette]

Yeah, I had a.

[Adam Carolla]

That's gotta be chilling, watching someone have a heart attack.

[David Wilde]

Isaiah, has that happens to you?

[Adam Carolla]

Yes, but actually he lived.

[David Wilde]

Oh, but you said.

[Penn Jillette]

Do you know cpr?

[Adam Carolla]

I do. Although I didn't use it at the time.

[Penn Jillette]

Why bother?

[Brian Bishop]

Not to be like that much on pen. I want to hear your story of somebody almost buying the farm. By the way, what happened to buying the farm? I don't know.

[David Wilde]

Bought up, I guess.

[Brian Bishop]

I feel like John Cougar fucked that up for everybody. Dollar Shave club, baby. Dollar Shave Club. So many irritating things in the world. The dogs on the plane, the gums on the sidewalk, the red turn arrows. Oh, that's just a Wednesday for me. Why add razors to the mix? Dollar Shave Club. These guys are smart. You can stop milking your blades. You get new ones in the mail once a [e-mail] it comes in the mail. You sign up, you stop thinking about it. Penn's smart. He realizes he needs that brain. It's a supercomputer. Needs as much capacity as possible. Why think about razors again? Dollar Shave Club. And they got the new products. The one Wipe. Charcoal Charlie's. Oh, these? I like butt wipes. Nice. I'm into this now. You know, I thought I was set in my butt ways. Turns out I have much more anal flexibility than originally reported.

[David Wilde]

You can always learn more.

[Guest Caller]

Weirdly, Penn was saying that right before you walked in.

[Brian Bishop]

That's how we work. DollarShaveClub.com Adam DollarShaveClub.com Adam Go to Amcarolla and. And click on the Dollar Shave Club banner. All right, so who did you see that? You were sure bought it.

[Penn Jillette]

When Teller and I first worked together, we were a three person group called the Asparagus Valley Cultural Society. And the third member of the group was a man named Weir Christimer.

[Brian Bishop]

Hold on one second. Find John Morton at Laguna Seca in 2009 or 10. All right. Crash. Sorry.

[Penn Jillette]

And he. He had this nervous head habit, which is important to the story, where he would walk on his toes all the time. Children go through a phase and they're three or four where they often do that.

[Brian Bishop]

I've had friends, kids did that.

[Penn Jillette]

He did that as an adult. He would walk always. Not ballerina, but almost way up there in his toes. It was a nervous habit he would do whenever he was barefoot and often he was in shoes. So he had. He's a skinny guy. He had calves the size of Wile E. Coyote, you know, big calves, which we never thought about. So we're driving because we used to tour all the time, just doing colleges and shit. Four of us, tech guy and the three of us in a van driving. And there was a car pulled over right up the top of a hill. And we were real safety nuts. We all knew cpr. We all would take our first aid classes. And we had highway flares in our van. And we were the first one of the accident. And we pulled up and we started going out and laying out these highway flares way, way down in front of the car to be safe. And all of a sudden this car came going 90 with a truck right behind him, an 18 wheeler right behind him, essentially chasing him. And this person saw the highway flares and aimed at the highway flares. They made no attempt to go around it. They were going right towards it. So we watch from the side as we're. Crystal got hit by a car going 90.

[Brian Bishop]

Wow.

[Penn Jillette]

He got hit dead on by a car going 90. And we watched him go through the air and flip around. And Teller and I watched him die. Really. We said, he's dead. That's it. That's gone. And the car went. And the truck went by and it was this horrific scene. We ran over, we thought would be weird.

[Brian Bishop]

Gillette almost spoke. It was that emotional. He started to say, oh, shit. And then he put his hand over his shoulder.

[Guest Caller]

He said, A moment of silence. Silence.

[Penn Jillette]

We ran over to Weir and he was not only alive, but conscious.

[Brian Bishop]

Wow.

[Penn Jillette]

And he had his shoes off. And his shoes were gone forever.

[Brian Bishop]

Right.

[Penn Jillette]

No idea where they went.

[Brian Bishop]

Right.

[Penn Jillette]

And he was screaming about his legs hurting.

[Brian Bishop]

Sure.

[Penn Jillette]

And we looked at his legs and we thought they would be just, you know, crumbled. They weren't. We got an ambulance. The ambulance came very short. And he got in the ambulance and the. The EMTs were saying, you know, what happened to him? And we said, a car hit him. Come in 90. And they said, no, it didn't. He's conscious, he's alive and there's no broken bones.

[Brian Bishop]

Right.

[Penn Jillette]

And it turned out that he, with these enormous calves and adrenaline on his toes too, jumped over the car.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, really?

[Penn Jillette]

He just jumped. And so he hit the windshield. Windshield, right. That just threw him into the air and he was okay. And it turned out it was a. It was A kid like 17 years old, was on every drug in the world and he was aiming for the flares. And the trucker had been chasing him for a while and had already called the police. And the trucker pulled him off the side of the road and chased him and grabbed him and said, you just killed the guy. And the police went over and said, you just killed the guy. They just assumed. Several people saw this. He was just dead. And we showed up in court, you know, and the kid got off pretty easy. He showed up in court sober and clean and everything else. And I couldn't. I just wanted to say to them, it's only because he walked in his toes that you weren't in jail forever. But it was amazing to see he jumped over a fucking car. I believe he jumped probably four feet.

[Brian Bishop]

Straight up and just clipped and just caught the windshield.

[Penn Jillette]

Yeah, just caught the. He didn't jump over the car. He jumped over the grill or whatever.

[Brian Bishop]

Whatever.

[Penn Jillette]

You probably know the names of cars. Hoods jumped over the hood.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, I call it the bonnet in England. I saw crash you guys. A friend of mine, John Morton, who's kind of a legendary racer and an older gentleman was driving a 5 million dollar scarab car with basically sort of half a little roll bar at the Monterey Historics at Laguna Seca. I can show you that I was there for this race. You can go to amcroll.com and you can check it out if you haven't. Yeah. And it's hard to believe that this guy didn't have his head taken off when you see John's in the blue car that gets clipped there, rolls one and on his head. And this guy's a 70 year old dude and a car ended up upside down with nothing really over his head.

[Penn Jillette]

What'd he do, duck?

[Brian Bishop]

He tucked his. He tucked his head in. It's one of these things. It's kind of interesting. Yeah. Like there's a thing called a Hans device. It's a head and neck restraint system. Goes over the thing and the belts and everything go over the thing. He didn't wear a Hans device because he's old school. But there's a thing where he said if I was wearing a Hans device, I couldn't have gotten. I wouldn't have been able to tuck my head in. He had tucked his head in and the guy was back next year. He was fine. But I mean, see a 70 year old guy with his head hanging out of a car that way go rolling. Yeah, that was a scary moment. We have a phone call, by the way. I think just one. I feel like Penn would be good for this one. Jim48, how you doing, Adam, South Texas, what's going on? Hey. Hey, Penn. I'm a big fan, both of y'. All.

[Penn Jillette]

Thank you.

[Brian Bishop]

Glad to talk to you. Thank you. I actually didn't know Penn was going to be on when I answered the tweet that you sent out asking for callers. But my question is about the existence of God.

[Penn Jillette]

Okay, I can answer that easily. Maybe in one word. I can answer that.

[Brian Bishop]

Smart people, really winsome people. And my question is, what's the difference between us and for example, our dog? Our dog doesn't lay in bed or lay outside and wonder whether he has significance or what's eternity all about or why is he here? Why was he born? But we do. There's something in us that makes us wonder why we're here and if we have eternal significance and if we have a destiny. I think that's called the ego.

[Penn Jillette]

By the way, your argument is the fact, the very fact that we think about God means that there should be some God you're drawing. Is it anthropological? I think it's called anthropopic or teleological.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, something like that. Or it's closely aligned with the argument from desire, where if I'm thirsty, there's a corresponding water for me to drink. You know, if you have physical desire, there's sex. That's satisfactor. But it's like saying to experience eternity. Well, where does that come from? Jackalopes don't actually. And neither do turduckens. They don't exist. But yet we think about them.

[Penn Jillette]

Yeah. The fact that you can think about it doesn't mean it exists. But more important than that, you can have really useful evolutionary things that can have different side effects. So the feeling of wanting eternity, wanting community, wanting to care could actually allow you to have a real evolutionary advantage without being based on trust. In other words, a fantasy itself could be part of keeping people alive and helping them reproduce. It's very easy to imagine many situations where evolution would favor someone who believed in God without there being a God.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, how much different is this? Like, my kid the other night popped a tooth out, and then she started getting bitchy. And then I said, oh, watch it, because the tooth fairy's coming and night, and she's watching, and, you know, you want five bucks, you don't want two bucks, and she sees you being bitchy with Mommy.

[Adam Carolla]

You mean religion being a tool to control people?

[Brian Bishop]

It kind of straightened her out. We came home once, there was a deer standing right in front of our house about a week before Christmas, just staring at the house with the antlers and everything. And we said, oh, that's one of Santa's. That's one of Santa's. The kid's 29, severely retarded, but that's one of Santa's. Santa's reindeers come down to check on you and make sure you're being. And the kids, you can manipulate them. I'll put it to you that way.

[Penn Jillette]

Well, you know, Michael Goudeau, who was on Penn Sunday School with me, has what I think is one of the greatest stories on this. His son Joey is on the spectrum. He's on the autism spectrum and takes things very literally. And although Godot and my wife fight about this all the time, because my wife. Wife will not do Santa Claus or Tooth Fairy or anything with my children, Our children. He does. He's a hardcore atheist, but he does that kind of stuff. He finally, when his son was fairly old, like eight or so, they were talking about the tooth fairy. And Joey's younger sister had floated the theory that the tooth fairy was not a real thing. And the whole family was sitting around, and finally he asked them directly, you know, is there a tooth fairy? And Michael Goudeau said to his son, very honestly, no, no, Joey, there is no tooth fairy. It's mommy and Daddy. We do that. And Joey said, you go to every house of every child who loses a tooth and give them money. So there you go. There's the literal interpretation.

[Brian Bishop]

Ah, legal zoom, baby.

[Guest Caller]

So there is no God, but there is legal zoom.

[Brian Bishop]

There is a legal zoom that we're introduced. I'm saying let's not leave it up to God. Let's get it on paper. Yeah, you want to start a business, baby? That's right. Pray but verify. LegalZoom.com, they've helped over 1 million businesses get started. They can help you. They're ready to go. And if you're going to launch a business, whatever you got to do, they can do it. You hop online, you do it from the privacy of your own home. Legalzoom. Save you time, save you hundreds of dollars. Go to legalzoom.com today. See what they can do for you. Dawson. Form an llc, get a dba, incorporate, or form a non profit, all starting at just $99 plus. Save even more when you enter Adam in the referral box at checkout. Help ensure your business and assets are legally [e-mail] LegalZoom can provide self help services, your specific direction, or connect you with an to attempt attorney. But they are not a law firm. All right, should we do a little news, baby girl? Yeah, let's do that. The news with Allison Rosen. She'll read some news from her iPad. Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad. It's Allison, Allison. And when it's time to wrap it up, she'll sign it off with zip. It's Allison, Allison.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay, so do you remember the cop in November of 2011 that was casually pepper spraying people at the occupy protest? People that were seated, he was pepper spraying them. And then it went viral.

[Brian Bishop]

Were they at UC in LA or San Francisco?

[Adam Carolla]

This is in Vegas.

[Brian Bishop]

He was just doing the walk and spray. Right.

[Adam Carolla]

So it turns out that he will receive more in workers compensation for the depression and anxiety he suffered as a result of the popularity of the video, which went viral. Then the people who were sprayed will receive. He's gonna receive $38,055.79. Again, that's sort of like fund anything. And the plaintiffs will receive 30,000.

[Penn Jillette]

The thing where it's all together, each.

[Adam Carolla]

Individual, 21 of them individually, each person receives 30,000.

[Penn Jillette]

Okay, so we're talking about each individual.

[Brian Bishop]

He gets the most down, who gets more of the paid leave than cops. Especially when it turns out, I mean, half the stuff is a crazy domestic shooting or something. And it's like he's. We put him on leave, like full pay, but he's on. That's, by the way, for anyone who has a job, like a real job. I would.

[Adam Carolla]

How great is that?

[Brian Bishop]

For 99% of the population that has a real job. And I don't think that includes anybody in this room and possibly this building or this block at this hour or so. But for people that have real jobs, I used to have real jobs and my greatest ambition and goal was to fall off a ladder and get six months disability or whatever. I mean these cops, I'm sure they got in it for the right reasons. But bottom line, it's an eight or ten hour day and staying home and watching Wheel of Fortune and getting paid for you're full freight.

[Adam Carolla]

Now do you feel like he's gaming the system at all? Saying that he suffered depression and anxiety as a result of this? And I guess there was a pepper spray cop meme. So all over the Internet there were photos of.

[Penn Jillette]

I don't think you have to. I don't think you have to say that's gaming. I imagine. I mean what he did was egregious. But I imagine after you've done something terrible and everybody's pointing it out, it could make you depressed. Depressed. If you have any sort of decency anywhere in you so you don't have to.

[Adam Carolla]

I guess I don't even imagine that he feels remorse.

[Penn Jillette]

But what he did was wrong. But that doesn't mean that he can't suffer.

[Brian Bishop]

Here's why I would be a horrible police psychologist. I'd be like, you're depressed? Yeah, I mean like really depressed? Uh huh. Like depressed depressed. Yeah. We have a gun, right? Yeah. Where is it?

[David Wilde]

It's my service revolver. It's at home, of course, but you.

[Brian Bishop]

It's around, right? Of course.

[David Wilde]

It's always an arm's reach for emergencies.

[Brian Bishop]

Do you have bullets for it?

[David Wilde]

Why would I not have bullets for my gun?

[Brian Bishop]

Hold on, you said you were depressed. Depressed. Not just kind of depressed, but depressed?

[David Wilde]

Yeah, I'm really depressed. I need some money.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, you have a gun, you know, and I'm just saying.

[David Wilde]

Are you suggesting.

[Brian Bishop]

No, I'm saying if you were depressed, depressed, I think you would have killed yourself. But if you're just kind of. No, that's why I'm seeing you. There's depressed, depressed and then there's. I could use an extra $38,000 and 17 cents depressed. You know what I mean?

[David Wilde]

You know, you've really convinced me.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, I mean, my mom was depressed, depressed and she had a gun. Oh yeah.

[David Wilde]

Would have been helpful for her.

[Brian Bishop]

She told me many times she'd kill herself and then she'd come after me. I said, fine, as long as you keep in that order, sweetie. Yeah. So you do have a gun, right?

[David Wilde]

Hell, yeah, I do.

[Brian Bishop]

And it's where you left it last year.

[David Wilde]

It's in my car.

[Brian Bishop]

I don't call that depressed. Depressed, okay. Kind of the ultimate argument, right?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. I'm not saying that this guy, because he doesn't mean egregious, can't feel anxiety and depression. I'm saying, is it an anxiety and depression that needs to be compensated?

[Penn Jillette]

You're saying that maybe a really good man who had done something really terrible when you came to him and said, we're going to give you money for this, would say, no, no, I don't deserve that. Like the people who. Who live a really tough life, and then when it's time to get a liver transplant, say, you know, I don't really deserve a liver transplant. We do have people.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm just saying he did something super fucked up and now he's making money.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, well, not turning down.

[Penn Jillette]

I can believe you'd be really depressed. You might want to turn down money.

[Brian Bishop]

Here's what's going on, and I've said it a million times. It's just game on. As far as society goes. That's where we're at. The. There's a sort of thing where it's like you're driving, you know, that move, L.A. freeways, everything's packed and crowded and blah, blah, blah. And you're waiting in line and you're merging and it's taking forever and it's nothing but brake lights. But you see that one lane where the people slide over and go, jump up 80 cars and then slide in. You see that one guy do it and you go, what an asshole. But at a certain point, if everyone is just doing it, like, you just see everyone has brought their dog on a plane. Everybody's got a fake handicap placard to park at the front of. Cause, like, it's game on.

[Adam Carolla]

You think you're the idiot if you don't do it.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, you're certainly not getting onto the next freeway. Like, you're getting pushed back. Everyone's making their move, and there is a certain point of saturation where you go, I got slight overlay and get some for myself. And then it creates a. A landslide. Because I think the people who normally wouldn't engage in this behavior are on. And they're now surrounded by people going, oh, no, you should sue. You should definitely sue. No, whatever, Penn. I told everybody. But I'll tell you because I think you'll get a kick out of this. I was saying back in the day. When I was in junior high grade school, I'd stay home all the time, just go, I got the sniffles, I don't want to go in. And I'd just sit there and watch TV and crappy house. House. And every commercial I saw during daytime TV was, do you want to learn to work in a doctor's world? Do you want to learn to drive an 18 wheeler? You want to. Do you want to learn? You want to drive an ambulance? Do you want to learn a skill? Do you want to be a secretary? Do you want to be a stenographer? Now stay home and watch daytime tv. Every commercial has been injured on the job, been exposed to asbestos, been fired, wrongly been discriminated against, meaning don't get off your ass. Ass. We'll get you some money. Every other commercial back in the day would be, I can get you off your ass and in behind the wheel of an 18 wheeler in three weeks. Now don't move, we'll get you money. That's our society.

[Penn Jillette]

There's a book that came out a couple years ago, which I did not read, or an excerpt of it about traffic. Just about traffic. And it turns out, and this is a shocking thing and I don't know all the mathematics on this, so if you bust me, I will lose. Just so you know, if you take marbles and you put them through a funnel, the same pattern of the marble running around the outside and going in and breaking into the lane happens mathematically. There are people that think there is no psychology whatsoever in lane changing. That it's simply built into physics, which I thought was a really nutty idea. So we see, we see, we anthropomorphize the same pattern, but there is the same pattern. Pattern of running around the outside and going in and that actually doing that is required to move many lanes into fewer.

[Adam Carolla]

The marbles have to shame the marble.

[Brian Bishop]

Exactly.

[Guest Caller]

By the same token, when Run DMC years ago, there were these incidents where people were getting stabbed at their shows and they asked me to come on stage. I said, you watch a crowd that gets violent is like an amoeba that if from the stage when you look at it, you see it shift and. And like there's an actual certain movement. So maybe everything is recreating people.

[Penn Jillette]

People who's fighting in what form Altamont is that we're going to now. But Mick Jagger goes, well, Sympathy for the Devil maybe not our best choice when we're paying the Hell's Angels in beer. Maybe we should do Happy something up. Yeah, do Happy, let's do happy. Not even tumble and die.

[Brian Bishop]

Such a crazy piece of footage. That whole scene and then the scene.

[Penn Jillette]

Of Mick Jagger watching, watching the scene.

[Brian Bishop]

It is as quintessential, you know, sort of 60s, late 60s, I don't know, 69, whatever it was.

[Penn Jillette]

It was three weeks after Woodstock. Right.

[Brian Bishop]

It was close to it.

[Penn Jillette]

And Manson is what, two weeks before Woodstock. So that was a nutty emotional time for the United States of America.

[Brian Bishop]

But it was like 60s on top of 60s. It was a Turducken of late 60s. Like the dress, the bikers, the band that got people there. There was like just dudes.

[Adam Carolla]

Who's behind the music? Before they had that.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, just like dudes just dancing around naked. Just everyone just hides a kite. Like just all the mellow out stuff.

[Guest Caller]

I just was interviewed for Tom Hanks's Company is doing a documentary on CNN on the 60s, like a miniseries of. And so they're interviewing a bunch of people and they wanted to talk to me about music of the 60s. And I've always thought, I don't like the 60s. I've always been the 70s. Film music is all of it. But when you actually break down 66 to 69, it's unbelievable what was happening artistically.

[Brian Bishop]

It really is. I agree. But that is just the weirdest. It was such a sort of lawless. I mean, the Stones are really lucky. They got out of there without giving up their lives. I think they just retreated to a helicopter.

[Penn Jillette]

Keith Richards writes about it a lot in the book. Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

Should we do one more story? Allison? Rosa.

[Adam Carolla]

All right. Well, speaking of things that happened a long time ago.

[Penn Jillette]

What a segue.

[Adam Carolla]

Thank you. Thank you. Michael Skakel, who was convicted of the murder of Martha Moxley. You know about this, right? So Michael Skakel, who is. Yes. He's the nephew of Kennedy adjacent, the late Robert F. Kennedy. Right. Went to jail for the 1975 murder of his neighbor Martha Moxley. But it was a case that went cold for a while. He was convicted in 2002. His alibi changed a bit. Bit. And now it turns out that he's going to be retried. A judge ruled that his attorney didn't sufficiently represent him when he was convicted in 2002 of bludgeoning her to death. He did it with a golf club, a six iron. I don't know golf, so I don't know what that is. But apparently the club was found in.

[Guest Caller]

I would use the wood, but it.

[Adam Carolla]

Was the golf club itself. The golf club itself was found in pieces near her Body isn't that. Doesn't that mean there was a. Like, a fuckload of bludgeoning for the club itself to be broken?

[Brian Bishop]

First off, I was laughing hearing about how one of the Kennedys didn't get adequate representation in the courtroom. Like, really, every black guy in America is just laughing his ass off about now. Number one, which guys you couldn't afford yet you had to just go down to the corner, huh? You couldn't find. So that's number one. Number two, maybe it's just me, but, you know, there's that thing where it's like, yes, we fucked earlier that night, and yes, there were some words exchanged, and yes, people did see me strike her, and yes, that is my machete handle. That is next to her body. But no, I was not there when this particular part of the evening went down. To me, it's always like, well, then you're the next best thing. Good enough. Until we find the guy. I will use you like a place.

[Adam Carolla]

It was his brother that was suspected.

[Brian Bishop]

Good enough.

[Adam Carolla]

And I think one of his alibis was changed was that he was in a tree jerking off to her.

[Brian Bishop]

Right, the tree.

[Guest Caller]

We've all used that excuse at one time or another.

[Brian Bishop]

As I said, the world's worst seagull. I've said it once. I'm bringing. Coming full circle here. Same guy, by the way. Same bald guy throwing his hat down, screaming, fucking Kennedy. Beating off in a tree. Not again.

[David Wilde]

Again.

[Brian Bishop]

I know it's cliche.

[David Wilde]

It sounds like something someone would make up on the spot, like a bad. And it's not in a tree.

[Guest Caller]

There must have been a second masturbator.

[Penn Jillette]

I don't know if you make that up. I think that might be true if you're saying it.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, well, there is the. There's the part of crime that I always enjoy that I think people think works, but I don't think it does where they go long. Look, I couldn't have killed that chick. I was too busy robbing that liquor store. Like, there is that part where they go, fuck it. I'm gonna take something that's gonna get me three years, not 30 years or three life. You know, consecutive life sentences or whatever it is. But it's not that big a place. And it's not like there were a whole bunch of other people killed with golf clubs later on that summer, right? Like, when the activity kind of stopped. You know what I mean?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Prosecutors plan to appeal the ruling. I don't know who out there is questioning his guilt. I mean, people near him Are.

[Guest Caller]

But I'm thinking a lot of Jewish lawyers. That would be my guess whose question.

[Brian Bishop]

The notion, too. That's gonna be the.

[Adam Carolla]

Dominic Dunn wrote a fictionalized. I mean, there have been books about it, and it seems like before he was convicted in 2002, people were.

[Penn Jillette]

Yeah, a whole book.

[Adam Carolla]

It was a fictionalized account of it. Yeah, but it was. I wish I had the title in front of me.

[Brian Bishop]

Either way, seems like you're beaten off in a tree and they find your golf club. By the way, who owns golf clubs before their 18th birthday? That's a Kennedy move right there. Right? I mean, it's not gonna be the kind of thing who bothers climbing a.

[Penn Jillette]

Tree to jerk off before their 16th birthday. It's also, you know, you stay on the ground.

[Guest Caller]

It's really the death penalty just for masturbating.

[Brian Bishop]

It's the kind of thing. It's the kind of thing that you would say to somebody. It's a sort of a newer version of take a long walk on a short pier. How'd you climb a tree and jerk off? I'm wasting my time. It's bullshit. All right, bring it home, baby girl.

[Adam Carolla]

That's the news. I'm Allison Rosen. Zip it cons.

[Brian Bishop]

That was the news with Alison Rosen. Ah. All right, I want to tell you people what wild about music. Check out his Twitter. Ildaboutmusic.

[Guest Caller]

Adam, I lost 3000 spam bots last night, so I really could use pen and your help to. I'm gonna go to Nashville for two weeks. I need to get back up.

[Brian Bishop]

And of course, CeeLo's book. I forgot to ask you all about Cee Lo. Everybody's.

[Guest Caller]

We did it without you.

[Brian Bishop]

It was very good. Available. I'll be listening tomorrow then on Amazon. And of course, Penn Jillette. Fun anything. Campaign director's cut. This looks amazing. They're probably going to hit their goal of just under a million bucks. And you want to be part of a winning team, don't you? Lots of great incentives. So go to fundanything.com and they're right on the front page. You will not be able to miss Penn's cabeza. Penn Sunday school podcast. New episodes every Sunday on Corolla Digital website pennandteller.com so until next time, this is Adam Crolla crore, David Wild, Penn Gillette, Allison Rosen Ball. Brian saying mahalo.

[Penn Jillette]

He got his head bit off by a tiger. All right, that was adam Crow show 1193. That does it for today's cool classics. Make sure to tune tomorrow for an all new installment. Until then, mahalo and get it on.

[Brian Bishop]

Get yourself ready for a trip through McDonaldland. There's fish shaped volcanoes. You'll even find a French fry thatch. Now just turn around and see if you won't find a hamburger patch. As you have. Order the McDonaldland meal today and get.

[Penn Jillette]

The Mount McDonaldland shake with your very own character souvenir kit.