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Adam Carolla
Well, in this episode, Erica Rhodes, very funny and beautiful comedian, joins me. Always brings it. Mayhem's got some news, I got some hot takes and we'll do that right after this.
Jason Mayhem Miller
The ace man's keeping busy. Why don't you join us for a live podcast in Irvine at the Irvine Improv on July 10 and then four shows in Covina, California at the Laugh Factory Covina on July 11th and July 12th. Tickets for these and more shows are available at. Adam Carolla.
Adam Carolla
Hey, this is Adam Carolla from the Adam Carolla Show. Betonline continues to be your number one source for all your sports betting action. Baseball's in full swing, football is right around the corner. And Bet Online's got you covered with the latest odds, breaking news and live scores. Betonline and even has live in game betting. While the games are being played real time. From MLB to UFC to tennis to NFL futures, Betonline, that's the place to play. And between games, hit up the Betonline casino. Packed with top Vegas style games, poker and live casino. Betonline has it all. Sign up now and score big with VIP rewards, level up bonuses and weekly cash bonuses. Bet online. The game starts here.
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Adam Carolla
This show is brought to you by SimpliSafe.
Jason Mayhem Miller
From Corolla 1 Studios in Glendale, California. This is the Adam Corolla Show. Adam's guest today, Erica Rhodes. Plus the news and trending topics with Jason Mayhem Miller. And now for the fourth, he took his dog to the beach, cracked a beer and lit off a couple of sparklers. I'm just kidding. You can't do any of that shit in California.
Adam Carolla
Adam carolla, yeah, get it on, got to get it on. No choice but get on the mandate. You get it on. Thanks for tuning in. Thanks for telling a friend. Erica Rhodes in studio. Very funny stand up comedian. She's got dates all over the place. Kansas City coming up. Also Illinois coming up. And what you can do is you can go to ericarodescomedy.com if you want to see the comedy stylings of Erica Rhodes. All right. Yes, I think we are taping this show the day before the 4th of July and I'm telling you that because there's some stuff we gotta get into and there's gonna be a little bit of a timeline. I am gonna go down to Malibu and the comedy is if I stood in the middle of the sand in Malibu alone and lit a cigarette, I would have somebody come up to me and find me or tell me to put it out. And then I would say, behold. And I would wave my arm to the hills and all you'd see was charred remains for as far as the eye could see. And I'd say, what really is the danger factor here? You think there's a fire factor here? Cuz every thing that could possibly burn is already burned. And then they would say, no, it's not the fire, it's the secondhand smoke. Whoa. There are people that are downwind There about 30 yards who may. And I was like, this entire place was one giant fucking inferno ashtray. Do you not think they breathed in enough secondhand ash or toxic this or that? And they would go, you got to put the cigarette out. And I said, I'm not gonna do it. I'm a taxpayer. Then I would be arrested. That's California.
Dawson
Get on the ground. Get on the ground.
Adam Carolla
Get on the ground.
Jason Mayhem Miller
It's gotta be your newest vlog gag. You gotta do this.
Dawson
I'll dress up like a fireman and hit you with the halon.
Adam Carolla
I would stand next to the guy who was arrested for paddle boarding during COVID and I would go, all right, America, you want to know, would you like to know what California is like?
Erica Rhodes
But you can set off fireworks on the beach and you speak Spanish.
Adam Carolla
No, in California.
Erica Rhodes
Well, In California on July 4, people are doing it all over. All over town.
Adam Carolla
No, not legally. So naive. So innocent. So innocent.
Dawson
He is a babe in the woods.
Adam Carolla
You couldn't do it on the beach. You would get in trouble on the beach. If you lived in South Central, you could do it in your backyard.
Erica Rhodes
That's what I was thinking.
Adam Carolla
Or you could do it on a bridge during a street takeover.
Erica Rhodes
Yes.
Adam Carolla
Or you could fire it at ice officials. Yeah, non fourth of July. But if you went to Santa Monica and you just went out onto the beach and you started lighting off bottle rockets or fireworks, you would be a guy in a quad would come up to you with a windbreaker and you'd be fucked up.
Erica Rhodes
Okay, so it's just the beach.
Adam Carolla
It's just the beach. You couldn't do it. The rest is lawless. You can do whatever you want.
Erica Rhodes
Yeah. Downtown people are setting off fireworks downtown during July 4th.
Adam Carolla
Oh, the craziest drive is people should do it. There's actually video of it. But if you drove, I always used to go out to Jimmy's place down at Huntington beach or whatever beach it was down there. And then hang out for 4th of July. And then you drive home at like 10 at night when you go down the 110 at night. Now it's the 110 that's downtown, kind of south, centrally, kind of by the 10. But it's that, that 10 when you go down that 10, it's right on through the hood and the barrio.
Erica Rhodes
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
And there's just fucking fireworks on each side. It's really kind of its own show.
Erica Rhodes
Yes. I've been stuck on the highway many times because of bad traffic on July 4th. And that's where I saw the fireworks. Yeah, that's where you see it on the highway.
Adam Carolla
You do not. You don't see it when you get. You wouldn't see it on the two going into Glendale or something like that. Or you wouldn't see it on the 210. You wouldn't see it going into Pasadena or anything like that. But when you're in the barrio. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I said to somebody, I said somebody, they showed a helicopter view of was a fireworks show. But it's weird because fireworks shows are usually concentrated and this is like a spread out fireworks show, but just never. But it's always the shit neighborhood. So I said, I tweeted that ice should just follow the bottle rocket.
Erica Rhodes
Oh, yeah.
Adam Carolla
Literally it's a signal flare going, deport me. Like you're stuck and you want to go deport. Follow the bottle rockets ice. Because I guarantee wherever they're fired from and wherever they land, those people need to go back.
Dawson
Focus on the high quality ones. Those come direct from Tijuana.
Adam Carolla
Yes. So I tweeted, just follow the bottle rockets and we'll deport those people. Right. And then. And I'm very controversial, but always accurate. And then somebody tweeted like, that's some racist shit. You know, you don't think white people shoot off fireworks? And I go, not here. They don't. They do in Indiana. They do in Kentucky, but they don't. White people do not. Look, law abiders, okay? I'll tell you where white people live here. You know the number one place white people live here?
Erica Rhodes
Pasadena.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. I was thinking, no, no. I think I remember hearing this. Cause it's comical. Remember when the Black Lives matter woman who cares about black people bought her $5 million mansion.
Dawson
How the best one.
Adam Carolla
Topanga. Topanga is the whitest picture place because it's crunchy. So what I mean is, like, there's white neighborhoods, but they're not really white because there's some Persian and there's some Indian. There's some. Some Chinese. There's other money. Yeah, but Topanga is, like, crunchy. It's like white people, you know, there's no Persians that want to live in Topanga. They need. They need lots of room for ornate tile and things like that.
Dawson
We can say crunchy. What do you mean?
Adam Carolla
Hippie, dippy, hippie, dippy hippie. So.
Dawson
Oh, so I can, like, start up.
Adam Carolla
Beverly Hills. Beverly Hills is rich and white. But it. But it's not crunchy. So if you're here, the Sultan of Brunei buys his sister a house. He doesn't buy it in Topanga. Topanga's crunchy. They have the Renaissance Fair in there. Shit. You know what I mean? So it weeds out all the poor people. So that then shrinks the white. You know, now it's down to white, Asian, Persian and whatever. Jew and all that.
Erica Rhodes
And then just one Jew.
Adam Carolla
No, then it weeds the Jew out. Jews aren't crunchy. They want to fucking live up in those hills. So it's. So it's like it's the whitest of the white. Because it actually. It doesn't just discriminate against money. It discriminates against everyone. And then you have to have money. But the one, the chick from the Black Lives Matter, the one, the one that scared, you know, we have to understand what life is like for a black woman in America because she's scared, you know, because there's places she's not wanting and whatnot. She got. Give her kids the talk. She bought a place in Topanga. So she's the only black person in Topanga. Somehow feels safe living amongst all the races.
Erica Rhodes
It didn't burn down in the fires.
Adam Carolla
I kind of hope it did, but I don't know.
Dawson
She's got a secret hunger for outdoorsmen.
Adam Carolla
But here's the thing. The least amount of fireworks is going to be Topanga. You can just do it by shade. I'll show you the shade. We'll go down the shade and the grain, and we'll eventually get to the mugs, start it. Just super honky. That'll be the least. And then we'll get, you know, Santa Monica, Pasadena. Where?
Erica Rhodes
So Beverly Hills. Probably not a lot of fireworks.
Adam Carolla
No. And so the person was like, that's racist. And I'm like, it's not racist. It's what? That's la. There's no, it's Mexicans. Fire this shit up. Probably black, but it's probably, probably predominantly.
Dawson
Statistics are well known. Racist.
Adam Carolla
Right. So yeah. So follow the bottle rockets, ice.
Erica Rhodes
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
And we'll get some buses.
Erica Rhodes
Koreatown had a lot when I lived there.
Adam Carolla
Oh, really?
Erica Rhodes
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
Hmm. Well, you know, probably a few Koreans in this country.
Erica Rhodes
There are a lot of Mexicans in Koreatown.
Jason Mayhem Miller
The Armenians love their fireworks as well. Oh, there's some good shows in North Hollywood.
Erica Rhodes
Yeah. Yeah.
Adam Carolla
Oh, really?
Jason Mayhem Miller
Oh, yeah.
Adam Carolla
Armos all the way around.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Several of my neighbors put on shows every year.
Adam Carolla
But hold on, those aren't Mexicans because Glendale's all armo. And they don't really do it in Glendale.
Jason Mayhem Miller
They do it in North Hollywood. They also put in the columned and pillared porches on thousand square foot houses.
Adam Carolla
And a big statue of a lion.
Jason Mayhem Miller
And a water feature.
Adam Carolla
They're beautiful. Aesthetic culture. Yeah. Who lives there? Yeah. It's like, I didn't think rod iron could look good in white, but okay.
Jason Mayhem Miller
A marble walkway.
Adam Carolla
I love it. Yeah. They love tile. They love tile. They love tile. Yes. They're grout based society. Take some pictures. I know, I know, I know. I've seen it all. I've seen it all. I, the house. I have. I open the closet. There's travertine tile in a closet. It's not even a walk in closet. It's a small hall closet with tile in the closet. I said, oh, armo, armo.
Jason Mayhem Miller
A guy with a corner lot has a polished marble slate walkway from his porch with lions on it.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Jason Mayhem Miller
To the sidewalk surrounded by Deadlon.
Adam Carolla
I, I, this is an interesting, this is fascinating, I'm fascinated by, it's kind of like the brother with the big stud fake diamond earring who's driving a beater Camry from 13 years ago. And you're like, do you think, does anybody, you know what I mean? Like, are we mistaking you for a rich baller because we see your life, you know? What's the earring? What's the earring? What's the earring doing?
Dawson
Actually making it.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, but it always reminded me years ago. Speaking of the Mexicans, I work with Mexicans, man. I, I always work with Mexicans because, because that's construction.
Erica Rhodes
Yeah.
Dawson
Oh, I thought you were in the banda scene.
Adam Carolla
No, but, but they're in the construction. I was in it. And they always had beater ass pickup trucks back when people drove real beater trucks. They don't really drive beaters anymore, but they drove beaters because there was nothing on credit Nothing was new and everything's kind of nice now, but shit was junk and it was expensive and you couldn't buy stuff on credit. We didn't have credit. You know, you'd buy a truck, you'd open the recycler, you'd pay 900 bucks. You get a truck. These guys always had decals of Brahma bulls on the side doors. I don't see all these Mexican trucks, the Brahma bull, and big, big, beautiful color Brahma bull decals on these beater ass gardener trucks and stuff, you know. And so one day I started noticing all these Brahma bulls and I was like, hey, Joseph. Yeah. What is it with the stickers of the cow? What's the Brahma bull stickers on there? It's not a team. It doesn't have a name under it. It's not Arena League team or anything. It's just. It's a majestic Brahma bull sticker. So I go, what is this about, you know, with your culture? Because I see it a lot. Yeah, you're not ranchers. We're just spreading stucco in Canoga Park. With me, what's going on? You don't have acreage. You have a fucking apartment building in Van Nuys with the old lady, 7K. What's with the Brahmapal sticker? And he goes. I swear to God, he goes. He goes, in my country, it means prosperity. And I said, yeah, but it's on a door that's covered in bondo, in primer on a beater fucking truck that's worth $400. It means prosperity. I like. You know what means prosperity in my country? A new fucking truck. A nice truck. A truck that doesn't have a space saver spare as one of tires and a license plate held on by the coat hanger. That's my country. And then I realized, oh, there's cultural differences. He's gonna take a fucking sticker of a fucking cow and put it on the side of his truck. And I realized, I think your priorities are in the wrong place, bro. Yeah. So I fired some fire rockets at him, bottle rockets. And I called Tom Homan. We have tape of it. Do we have footage of the thing? So Brahma bull. Yeah, this is good. It's good. So if you go through la. Yeah. As a matter of fact, this is.
Erica Rhodes
Where you would see them.
Adam Carolla
I'm gonna say. You know what? I'm gonna say this. I'm gonna say this too. You can play it, by the way. It's a fireworks show in the hood, off the Freeway. And you know what?
Dawson
Oh, my God, I love la, dude. I'm sorry.
Adam Carolla
I love this, but can we say this?
Dawson
I want to watch the world burn, I guess. This is great.
Adam Carolla
Can we do this? It's just going down the 10 freeway or the 101 or 110 at night.
Erica Rhodes
And it's just fire stuck so many times on that drive.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, yeah. It's all trafficking.
Erica Rhodes
Yeah. Because it's the worst. If you try to go to the beach. It's the. You just get stuck here.
Jason Mayhem Miller
I'm gonna argue that this year is going to be the best year to watch illegal fireworks because they're canceling schedule. Fireworks.
Adam Carolla
Mike, I'm Dawson. I'm in front of you. I'm in front of you.
Erica Rhodes
I love the sound that I get. I don't know.
Adam Carolla
There's no more. There's no more down at Santa Monica, down Malibu, you know, there's no beach, there's no anything. Everyone's freaked out. Fire, fire, fire. This is where it's going to be. Plus we got ice. Plus we got a lot of rebellious illegals. We got. People are pent up. People got their fireworks out just from firing it at ice, you know, so they got their wicks and their punks and everything. They're ready to go.
Dawson
So you heard him. Drink your riot punch and get out there, kids.
Adam Carolla
What I'm saying is, is instead of heading down to the beach and seeing nothing.
Erica Rhodes
Yeah. Just go.
Adam Carolla
Why don't we pack ourselves a picnic bag and. And sit on the, you know, pull over on the 110 and just sit on the hood of the car. Crack a Zima.
Erica Rhodes
Look, you can see them coming from the houses.
Adam Carolla
This is where we're going. This is where to go. This year I just got a new.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Roof and I'm roof. I'm really.
Adam Carolla
Roof, roof, roof, roof. I don't know. I'm with you.
Jason Mayhem Miller
I want to. I want to get on top of the roof and watch.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Dawson
And bring your fire hose. Like rip.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Even though it was finished two days ago. I can walk on it. It's not going to disturb anything.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Erica Rhodes
I have to leave town. I have to leave town during July 4th because I can't take the sound of it.
Adam Carolla
Really. Wait.
Erica Rhodes
Yeah. I don't like it.
Adam Carolla
Hold on. Shingle flat torch down.
Jason Mayhem Miller
The torch down shingle. Whatever the standard. I don't know. I don't know what it's called.
Adam Carolla
Is it a flat roof or is it pitch?
Jason Mayhem Miller
It's pitched.
Adam Carolla
Oh, then it's not torched now. Okay.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Have to use that torch to seal everything is all I was saying.
Dawson
Don't put a blanket down.
Adam Carolla
Really?
Jason Mayhem Miller
Well, there were. There were there. Actually, maybe that was the part of the flat. There is a flat part.
Adam Carolla
That's where they use the torch. Yeah, There you go. The other part's shingle.
Erica Rhodes
Where are you from? Where are you from that you say roof?
Dawson
Roof.
Jason Mayhem Miller
California.
Erica Rhodes
Oh, really?
Jason Mayhem Miller
Yeah. I also say elephant. Weird.
Erica Rhodes
How do you say elephant?
Adam Carolla
I guess I said it right. All right, anyway, let's not get mired here. Why do you have to leave? You can't take the sound.
Erica Rhodes
Yeah, I don't like when it's just non stop fireworks.
Adam Carolla
You're like a shih tzu.
Erica Rhodes
Yeah, I'm like a shih tzu.
Adam Carolla
Mm. I don't care.
Erica Rhodes
It doesn't bother you? Doesn't sound like explosions?
Adam Carolla
I'm weird. If I hear a backup beeper, it drives me nuts. But I don't mind big concussions.
Erica Rhodes
Oh, okay. Interesting.
Adam Carolla
Well, with the context, it's fourth of July. I mean, it's sort of like thunder and lightning.
Erica Rhodes
I don't mind if it's far away, but if it feels like it's in somebody's backyard. No, that scares me.
Dawson
I moved above Disneyland at some point in my life where I was like, up the hill. And every day the fireworks go out. Every day, my big, tough pit bull would piss his pants. Really crawl under the bed like it was. Yeah, this poor guy.
Adam Carolla
So, all right, now back to fireworks and this thing that I forgot about. So I was inform that the actor Michael Madsen died. What? Yes, I was informed of that on the ride in. And Michael's a really cool dude. I mean, great in the movies for sure, and great in all the Quentin Tarantino movies and beyond. Just a cool, cool cat. Oh, by the way, the BLM chick lives in Topang. It's a $6 million house and it didn't burn down. And Topanga Candidate, she's literally how I wanna. Like, God's honest, your pitch is how dangerous it is to be a black person in the United States with systemic racism and all the other. All that goes along with it. And you move to literally the whitest place in California because you wanna be safe and secure.
Erica Rhodes
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
Can we believe you anymore in your fear of the white man? I just. I'm just putting it out there. All right. Michael Mattson Dawson was what? How old was he when he. When he passed?
Erica Rhodes
Aw, he looks like a nice guy.
Adam Carolla
Oh, yeah. Especially when he cut the guy's ear off 67. 67. And he what? Get some of his biggest movies.
Dawson
Oh, man.
Adam Carolla
Come on. Hateful Eight. Yeah.
Dawson
You know, sure, man. Reservoir Dogs.
Jason Mayhem Miller
He was in the Doors already. The Natural. He played a small part in War Games.
Adam Carolla
Oh, he was in the Natural, huh?
Jason Mayhem Miller
Donnie Brasco, Thelma and Louise.
Erica Rhodes
He wasn't in Pulp Fiction at all.
Adam Carolla
No, no.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Your favorite species.
Adam Carolla
Oh, oh, yeah. Natasha Hemstridge. Yeah.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Die Another day. Scary Movie 4.
Dawson
That was a good one. Actually underrated.
Jason Mayhem Miller
And the Getaway with Alec Baldwin.
Adam Carolla
Oh. Oh.
Jason Mayhem Miller
A movie called Kill Me Again, which I've never seen.
Adam Carolla
Well, we were gonna pull his.
Jason Mayhem Miller
I got his 15 best movies right here, according to some people. Die Another Day, Species.
Adam Carolla
Free Willy.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Free Willy, Mulholland Falls, The Doors.
Adam Carolla
Oh, he's great.
Erica Rhodes
The Doors, Yes.
Jason Mayhem Miller
He played Virgil Earp in Kevin Costner's Wyatt Earp, which is more like watching the History Channel, if you're into It's.
Adam Carolla
It's.
Jason Mayhem Miller
It's equal to Tombstone.
Adam Carolla
The hell's that Costa know about Westerns?
Jason Mayhem Miller
This is a lot longer. The Hateful Eight, Thelma and Louise, Volume Two. And then most famously, of course, Reservoir.
Adam Carolla
Dogs and Donnie Brasco. Right? You say? Yep. Yeah, it's great. And he was a fun guy. So I was driving in here and Andrew told me Michael Manson died. And I was like, oh, man, that guy was a fun guy. Like, it's a fun conversation. He came in here and we had a funny. We had a fun conversation. And you kind of remember. You don't remember people necessarily by all the conversations you had when you talked at 15,000 people, you just go, good guy, bad guy, funny person, unfunny, boring, fucking whatever. Bad thought, good thought. You know, it's really just bad thought, good thought, you know? And then there's people come in where you go, oh, douche. You know, and then other people, you go, oh, fun guy, fun guy. And he came in. So. So I said to Andrew, I go, you know, he was in here several years ago, and he was talking about. He was doing a Nick Nolte impersonation because Nick Nolte was his neighbor in Malibu. And I said, oh. I said, yeah, go find him talking about Nick Nolte and doing a Nick Nolte impersonation because it was really funny. And then I realized that. Or Andrew realized that it was Fourth of July conversation we were having as it pertained to Nick Nolte. And then the conversation I had with Michael Madsen was on the eve of 4th of July or 4th of July weekend was upon us. Oh, geez, and he lived in Malibu, and I was asking him what he was gonna do. Cause they used to put a big barge out there and do the thing. And he told me about Nick Nolte. And that's the coincidence on top of this. So a little homage to the great Michael Matz, I guess. A coup couple minutes long. And it's him telling me, doing Nick Nolte and fireworks.
Sammy the Bull Gravano
I'm good friends with Nick Nolte, and he usually comes by my house with a great big roll of firecrackers. And I used to get stuff from American Soldier magazine or Soldier of Fortune magazine. They used to ups me fireworks. But, you know, now after 9, 11, I can't get them anymore.
Adam Carolla
Hold on. I want to get into this.
Sammy the Bull Gravano
Rockets and all kind of good stuff first, though. You can't do them anymore.
Adam Carolla
Do you and Nick Nolte have some sort of gravelly voice? Jesus Christ, man.
Sammy the Bull Gravano
I brought some firecrackers over here. God damn it. If I'm going to set them off whether you like it or not.
Dawson
God damn it.
Adam Carolla
Hey, you want to eat another cigarette?
Dawson
Give me a Marlboro.
Sammy the Bull Gravano
Yeah, I need another one.
Adam Carolla
I made a. I made a smoothie out of gravel. Stop smoking chewing tobacco and gravel.
Sammy the Bull Gravano
I was actually in Paris one time, and he usually comes around the fourth of July.
Adam Carolla
No.
Sammy the Bull Gravano
And my. Yeah, my wife calls me. She called, goes, michael. She goes, nick is here. And I said, well, honey, you know, I'm not home. I'm in Paris, for Christ's sake. And she goes, I know, but, you know, he just came over like he does. He'll just show up. And so I said, put him on the phone. And he's like, hey, Madsen, where the hell are you? What the are you doing? I heard you're over in Paris. And I was, yeah, I'm in Paris, Nick. He goes, oh, well, you'd mind if I hang around for a while? And I said, well, all right, Nick, if you'd like to. And so my wife gets back on the phone, and she goes, you know, he's sitting outside and he's wearing a dress.
Adam Carolla
Wow.
Sammy the Bull Gravano
And I said, a dress? He goes, oh, no, it's not really a dress. It's like one of those wraparound things. And I said, put him back on the phone. So he's like, yeah. And I go, what the fuck? I said, what are you wearing something strange? He goes, no, no, no. I got these in India, and I'm gonna leave one for you. They're really great. You know, they're very comfortable. And I'll leave a few for you. And I said, okay, Nick, whatever. And my wife, she calls back, like, four hours later, and I says, is Nick still there? And she goes, yes, he's still here.
Adam Carolla
Wow. Yeah. How do you show Nick Nolte the door? That's. That's a problem that most people, you know, aren't blessed with.
Sammy the Bull Gravano
He's a wonderful guy. So a very good friend you're going to be.
Erica Rhodes
Were.
Adam Carolla
Yep. Michael Manson doing his Nick Nolte. Good dude. You could tell he's a fun dude.
Erica Rhodes
Yeah, he had a sexy voice, too.
Dawson
What would you guys call his constant expression? He always has an expression like he's about to ask you a question.
Erica Rhodes
About to.
Dawson
Yeah, he's about to figure something out.
Erica Rhodes
Kind of gets you to lean in.
Adam Carolla
I guess it's what makes you. Makes you an actor.
Erica Rhodes
Yeah, it's like, oh, come here. I've got something to tell you a little bit. Yeah, I got a sexy voice.
Sammy the Bull Gravano
My voice is a little bit gravelly.
Erica Rhodes
But not that bad. But I tell my wife, I think.
Sammy the Bull Gravano
About it all the time.
Adam Carolla
Cocaine Air. All right, picture this. Miami in the 80s, right? And you've got this guy, TJ Dominguez. By day, he's running the world's biggest Lamborghini dealership, but at night, the dude's basically moving mountains of cocaine for Pablo fricking Escobar. I'm talking almost 100 million a month, adjusted for inflation, of course. And his family, totally clueless. He's got planes, boats, mansions all over Miami, and get this, a pet mountain lion named Top Cat. Because why not? Now, for the first time, TJ Is telling his story on a brand new podcast called Cocaine Air. It's Scarface and Narcos. It's like they had a baby. This would be it. Cocaine Air. So check it out. Just search for Cocaine Air wherever you get podcasts. Am I right, Dawson?
Jason Mayhem Miller
T.J. never set out to be a cocaine smuggler. But when his dad suddenly died of cancer, a couple of con artist bankers swooped in and scammed him out of all his money. And those tragic events sent him down a really dark path of revenge and vindication. And even when the feds busted him in 1988 and put him in prison. Prison. He actually bought a helicopter from behind bars, hired a pilot, and hatched the most audacious prison break in the history of prison breaks. Listen to Cocaine Air wherever you get your podcasts.
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Adam Carolla
Well, you know, I'm happy in a sense that these guys, you know, with this new era and podcasting and stuff, you get these long form interviews with these guys that are just digital and captured and just sort of forever. And if anyone wants to kind of know what Nick Nolte was like, you can just listen to me, talk to him for an hour and a half and then you'll. It's left behind, which is, you know, Marcel Marceau and Ingrid Bergman and all the others, actors of the past. They didn't get a podcast. You didn't know who the fuck. You know, you saw them in black and white or whatever, but you didn't really know who they were.
Dawson
I think that's also a problem with celebrity too. Now that we're all overexposed, that there gives a chance for people to hate you.
Adam Carolla
Oh, it's definitely the problem. It's definitely the problem of like Robert De Niro. Yeah, Robert De Niro. We know he's a matic genius and now he's a fucking dumb shit because he goes on the View and starts talking.
Erica Rhodes
That's the one thing Bob Dylan got right, is he just does it. He's still mysterious. Bruce Springsteen still don't know what he's like.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Yes. Smart.
Erica Rhodes
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
All right. What was I going to say? All right, here's what I got next. I know I had a conversation yesterday, and the conversation I realized encapsulates most every conversation when I die, I'll go, if you want to know what life was like for me would be this conversation. And I have this all the time. It's also a thing I have that I'm interested in, in that I have a field of expertise and that's home improvement. And sometimes I'll just walk into a place and I'll walk into a cabinet place and. And the guy will be going like, oh, let me show you my cabinets, you know, and I'll go. And the drawers are they just. Are they butted or they do like a dovetail joint or is it like a rabbit joint? And I'll go, it's dovetail. And I'll go, okay. And the bottom, what do you do? You got to assemble the drawer. The bottom just slides in. Yeah. So it's just got a dado. Yeah. And slide it in the data. Yeah. And then they Go the hinges. Self closing. Euro. Yeah. Accuride full extension slides. Yeah. Are they full overlay doors or are they half overlay doors? And what do you guys do with the face frame? Do you dial those? And then they'll go, nah, we don't do. We just do a butt joint. And at certain point I'll go, do you want to know why I know all this stuff or are we just going to keep talking like some fucking housewife from Encino or something? And at some point I'll tell them I used to build cabinets. And then they'll go, okay, okay. But they, they never, they're not impressed. They don't care. They don't care about it. So I was talking to a, I was talking to a plumber yesterday. Now I'm going to, I'm going to lay this out in layman's terms. And I'm looking at you, uh, oh, but I'm looking at you too. Mayhem. Yeah, Layman's terms.
Dawson
I know words.
Erica Rhodes
We know, we know layman.
Adam Carolla
What layman means now when there's, there's a thing. See, everything in construction is like trying to get easier, more efficient and faster. So now when you used to put plumbing in a house, plumbing started with steel galvanized pipes. Long gray galvanized pipes with fittings 90 degrees caps, tees for threaded. And they had to sit in the driveway and cut the pipe and put it on a threading machine, which was a real fucking bear. And they'd thread them and they'd push them through the wall and they'd screw it all on. And then somebody said, what if we used copper? And instead of having to thread every joint and every turn and all the things, the T's and the turns and that, we'll just take these couplers and we'll put it on there with some solder and we'll put a torch on it. We'll sweat it and we'll seal it. We'll make it with. We'll solder it closed. And somebody went, yeah, it's a lot faster and easier lighter. Now you plumb with copper. And then. So copper was around for a long time. And then somebody went, why do we have to do all the sweating with the torch and the, and the turns and the fittings and everything? Why don't we just take essentially like a thick rubber hose and just pull it through and turn it around and turn up. We could just, we'll call it Pex. It's just flexible. You can go where you want with it and you Know, there's fittings and crimpings and stuff to it, but it's like, it's so much easier just to plumb a house with pex.
Erica Rhodes
Uh huh.
Adam Carolla
Stuff starts with the big iron pipe galvine. All the fittings and threadings goes to the copper with this sweating, which is faster. Now it's real fast. The evolution, right? Cause it's all labor and weight. It's easier. Okay. So I'm like up with a lot of stuff, but I'm not up with everything because I've not been in the business for a little while.
Erica Rhodes
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
And I'm. And I'm talking to the plumber. And the plumber goes, I gotta take gas pipe. I gotta take gas pipe. And I gotta go under the house. I go around and pop up in the thing and I go, okay. I go, is it green pipe? And he goes, no, that's for bearing. Which I knew gas pipe, when it's green, it's for in the ground. But I thought under the house, I don't know. But he goes, now it's for bearing. I go, okay, so just black iron pipe. He goes, no, they have a new thing now where it's flexible. You can do it. It's a gas pipe, but you can flex it and go straight where you want. It's not pvc, but it's gas. It's for gas, but it's flex. And so I go, oh, like pex.
Dawson
There we go.
Adam Carolla
And he goes, goes, it's not PACs. I go, I mean, like you can do. Somebody figured out we don't have to do all the fittings and all this stuff. We can do it. We can do it. Like pax.
Erica Rhodes
Yes.
Adam Carolla
And he goes, it's not pecs. And I go, yeah, okay. Yeah, okay, fine. By the way, I know what PACS is, so I know it's not. Okay, fine.
Dawson
But sometimes you run into somebody as particular as you.
Adam Carolla
I talked to him 10 minutes. I said, like life packs, you could flex. Meaning smart. You can flex it.
Erica Rhodes
Yes.
Adam Carolla
Hang up, phone calls back five minutes later. He goes, look, we gotta run the line to the refrigerator for the water feed the fridge. I go, yeah. He goes, now we could use copper. I go, yeah. Or we could use pex. And then he goes, pax is a flexible classic. I just said pex. I just said, I told you what? Pax was flexible. I go, I know, I just said. I just said like pax. You said no, and now you're telling me.
Erica Rhodes
Okay, yeah.
Adam Carolla
Anyway. And I just, I just realized, oh, that's every conversation I've ever had with everyone. They never know what the I'm talking about. They never listen. No one ever goes, okay, you know what? Pax is fine. They never. It's just always something new and dumb and they don't know what you mean.
Erica Rhodes
Yeah, well, they're probably so on autopilot. They just say the same thing to everyone. So they're used to explaining it in the same exact way to each person.
Dawson
Don't make it make sense.
Adam Carolla
Well, knock it off. Everyone just knock it off. All right. Other things.
Erica Rhodes
That's more I've learned about plumbing than I've ever.
Dawson
Oh, yeah. I'm ready to lay line. Let's do it. I'm ready to run some pipe.
Adam Carolla
Tell Erica you're ready to lay some pipe.
Erica Rhodes
Yeah, next time, is it copper or is it Pex? I need to know this shit.
Adam Carolla
All right, Other than before you plunge.
Erica Rhodes
My toilet, let me know.
Adam Carolla
Plunge my toilet. All right. The other thing I like to sit around and sort of agonize over. Yeah, yeah, agonize is right. I'm sorry, I'm gonna ask Andrea. Did you pull that Newsom clip and. Or the Nithya Raman one? Cuz things fall through the cracks around here sometimes. I was driving, I realized that people sort of, for the most part in this town have difficulty driving. Like, they just don't drive sort of efficiently. Like, I was literally at a red turn arrow. Sorry, the red light the other day, and someone's in the right lane and I was just like. I just like honked, like, turn, turn, you're turning, turn. And they're like, huh, I don't know. And at some point I just laid on the horn and didn't break it. I just laid on it. I was like, would you fucking turn? You can turn. You can turn right. It's legal. You come to a full stop, then you turn right.
Erica Rhodes
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
If there's no cars coming. But also, it doesn't have to be. No cars were ever born. It could just be no cars in the lane that you're turning into. You can feather in, you can zipper in. Just turn, just turn. And no one. I don't. Here's my theory.
Erica Rhodes
They're texting.
Adam Carolla
No, but that's not bad. Yeah, I'm really taking self people in Los. No one is from Los Angeles. No one is from here. They come from places where it isn't legal to turn on a red. So you grow up in some town in Arizona or New York or something where there's no Right on a red. And you spend the first 40 years of your life there. Then you come here. You don't turn right on red unless somebody tells you. But there's no campaign. Yeah, the campaign is click it or ticket or slow for the cone zone. There are no messaging out there. And I'm like, let's move it along. Let's get it going. Use your turn signal and fucking turn honk for right. God, it's so bad. So then I was just sitting there, and I was driving through my left turn red arrow. I drive through right turn red arrows, which there is in my neighborhood now. Left turn, red arrows and. And red lights in general. Now. Now I just. That's my thing. Rules don't apply. And I realize it's fine. You can look around, there's no cars around, then just go, do what you want. And then everyone goes, you're gonna get a ticket. And then I go. I've been driving through red turn left arrows for, I say, 25 years, but I started before 2000.
Erica Rhodes
And you've never been pulled over.
Adam Carolla
No, but I want people to understand something that they will not fully digest. I was talking to a woman today, and she's pulled over on pch. And people are pulled over all over the place on PCH. PCH has a new speed limit. It's 25 miles an hour. Because there's work crews or trucks or business. Fire. Business. And pch, which I have driven on recently, is big. It's open and there's no lights. And you just sort of go. And so you're going along at 40, and it's nothing like you're just driving. It doesn't. You don't feel that. You're not speeding, you're not breaking along. Especially an electric car. Electric car's just zooming along. You look down, you're going 43 miles an hour and you're getting lit up. I see people pulled over all time. It's 25. The speed limit's 25. You're going 42. You're 42. Feels like nothing. Yeah, but it says 25, and they are writing every motherfucker a ticket for going 10 miles an hour faster. Speed limit on PCH?
Dawson
Yeah, they gotta pay for that fire cleanup somehow.
Adam Carolla
Right? So now everybody is getting pulled over on pca. None of them feel like they're doing something that is inherently illegal. Cause it doesn't feel like you're doing something.
Erica Rhodes
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
When you drive through a red, that feels illegal and people won't do it. But you'll never get a ticket because there is no cops waiting at every intersection. Because nobody does it. They're all over PCH because everyone does it. They. Yeah, they go where the fish are. Yeah, 100%. I see people in my neighborhood, you know where you see fucking chicken shit tickets? Nonstop. Nonstop chicken shit four way stop signs. Cops hang out at four way stop signs because they know people roll through them. Because you come up, you see it's four way, no one's around and you go, fuck it. And every motherfucker who worked in this building has gotten a ticket from the four way stop sign. That's 100 yards that way. If they come in to work this way, they've all fucking got the ticket. Because the fucking cops want to get paid.
Dawson
Yeah, that's capitalism.
Adam Carolla
They're not in the fucking business of hanging around in intersections all fucking day and not riding any tickets waiting for Corolla to come by so you can do it.
Dawson
Well, also that's a pretextual stop. So now you have a reason to stop somebody and then they can get, you know, hit the lottery sometimes with guys.
Adam Carolla
No, they find. Well, sometimes, I mean, they found the. They stopped the North Hollywood bank robbers and they just found like police scanners and body armor.
Dawson
Like, wait a minute, what are you guys up to?
Adam Carolla
They gave it all back before the robbery.
Dawson
I know. Yeah. Yeah, you're right.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, we gotta protect the citizen. Yeah. I don't know what's happening on my screen, but I was driving through my red turn arrow this morning and I thought to myself, jesus fucking Christ, could we get this going? Like, like traffic. Could we get it moving a little bit? Like, how about a conversation? What are we doing here? And then I thought to myself, and all the time I've been in la, I've never heard a politician talk about like, Karen bass has given 7,000, she said 7,000 press conferences about ice and fighting against ice and standing up to Trump and resisting and has seat at the table with dignity. I've never heard her say one fucking thing about traffic. And it's weird because you're the mayor of a town with the most traffic and it fucks everyone's shit up. And it's bad environmentally and it uses a lot of fuel that's bad on everything that you like. You don't like the consumption of the fuel and the environment and the time wasted and the urban sprawl and the inefficiency of it. And it affects poor people more than it affects rich people because poor people can't afford A house in Westwood. If they work in Westwood, they have to live in fucking Simi Valley where they can afford a house. And they have to sit on the fucking freeway in traffic for 95 minutes in and two hours on the way home. Yeah, the amount you live in Newhall Saugus, because there's only afford you. There's no houses under $1.5 million anywhere near where you work. That there is 1 for 875 that's in New Hall Saugus. But you have to fucking sit on the freeway for turn. What about it? What about those people? Like, what's the plan? What are we doing here?
Erica Rhodes
Don't they just focus on electric cars though? That's like their whole thing.
Adam Carolla
It is, but more elect, that's just more electric cars than traffic. And I thought to myself, I thought the only. There's like two incidents where a politician has actually heard them do something that was traffic related even. And it's a weird thing just to go like, why isn't there traffic Czar? Why is there some sort of weekly update? Why doesn't the mayor, the last seven mayors we've had, not as one who went, look, traffic sucks. This is insane. Took me an hour to get to the airport the other day. We gotta fix this. We gotta move it along. I gotta campaign. We're gonna turn right. We gotta use your signal. Turn right on red, come to full stop. Go ahead. I'm gonna instruct my officers not to pull people over and take up a lane and have everyone like slow down and try to go around. Like, I'm gonna do a bunch of stuff, but I'm gonna do it never. They run on weird, like good vibes or something that have nothing to do with traffic. But then I thought to myself, wait a minute, there was something traffic related recently. Now there's Nithya Raman, who's a hero out here. She was the one who was blaming Toyota for making catalytic converters too easy to steal. So it was Toyota's fault that people were stealing catalytic converters. That actor guy, real strange logic. The actor guy got shot downtown. I'm sure his mom knows it's Toyota's fault for making it easy to steal. That was her first full tarred moment. I was like, she went to Harvard, by the way. I was like, this is a retarded woman, by the way. She's making policy. But then she went out. But she did do a traffic related one that was just a Toyota related one. But this was traffic. She went out to Hyperion in Boys Town in Silver Lake with a bunch of drag queens to pull down a U turn sign because it was plaguing the gay cruising community who are doing U turns cruising around in front of people's houses.
Dawson
Wait, what street is this?
Erica Rhodes
Yeah, where is that?
Adam Carolla
I'll tell you off the air, man. All right.
Erica Rhodes
It's in West Hollywood somewhere.
Adam Carolla
They pulled it off.
Dawson
No, Silver Lake.
Adam Carolla
Silver Lake.
Erica Rhodes
Oh, really?
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Dawson
Yeah. It's sticky down.
Adam Carolla
It's a big right on the side of District 13. And today we here. Go. So no U turn signs that were.
Dawson
Connected to the no cruising signs that.
Adam Carolla
Were used to discriminate against the LGBT.
Dawson
Community until we removed the last discriminate from Bush blows.
Erica Rhodes
U turn. Very joyful and exciting signs are discriminating.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Yeah.
Dawson
Very strange.
Adam Carolla
Very weird outlook of the 90s. Anti gay politics. It wasn't. Okay, hold on a second.
Erica Rhodes
I don't even understand people who try.
Adam Carolla
To raise their kids. Didn't want to see you homos circling Hyperion over and over and butt fucking people in a shrub at 2 in the morning. So they got the city to put a sign up saying no fucking cruising here. Bandana conquistadores. And it wasn't. But it was, by the way, anti gay discrimination in the 90s. They don't give a fuck. This was Los Angeles. It's just residents didn't want you guys cruising in front of their buildings all fucking night with your Emil Poppers trying to blow a fucking stranger. Like. I know. But it's a big day. It's a big day. And so I have to apologize to Nithya Raman by saying they're not doing enough talking about traffic. She's doing something about it.
Erica Rhodes
She's fighting a good fight in Silver Lake.
Adam Carolla
You can keep playing it, but it's pretty fun.
Erica Rhodes
One U turn at a time.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Which had been removed years ago during the 1990s.
Adam Carolla
It was very much a cruisy area where a lot of the LGBT community had no other option but to meet each other in the streets.
Dawson
Yeah, they didn't have no apps back then.
Erica Rhodes
Griffith Park Boulevard, the city.
Dawson
And had asked them what we could do.
Adam Carolla
No other option. You gotta butt fuck on someone's lawn.
Sammy the Bull Gravano
On.
Adam Carolla
You don't have other eyes. Finally down.
Dawson
It felt awesome.
Jason Mayhem Miller
I like how they were trying to do it with their hands.
Adam Carolla
Nobody has any tools.
Dawson
Is it racist to say that he.
Erica Rhodes
Looks gay in spaces that embrace identity violence?
Adam Carolla
Yeah. They're like, we're trying to. Oh, there she is.
Erica Rhodes
Responsibility. Really? Seriously.
Adam Carolla
Council Member Rahman and I are not only Friends.
Dawson
But we're very values aligned.
Erica Rhodes
And so values align.
Adam Carolla
One side of the street. We're going to do one on the other. And of course, bring the community to celebrate this great day. The community's gonna come together and celebrate. By the way, they're wrestling with the sign. Yeah, yeah. Cause there's a carriage bolt with a lock washer on their sign. It's like, is there one fucking straight guy here with a fucking crescent wrench?
Erica Rhodes
Can anyone get this sign?
Adam Carolla
Yeah, these homos don't have shit. No, Larry, kissing potion is not gonna work. Put the purse away. We need one fucking straight guy with a fucking crescent wrench. And they got a big drag queen with you. She's doing it. That's as much Traff has come out of la.
Erica Rhodes
Wow.
Adam Carolla
And then there's the brilliant. The brilliant Gavin Newsom.
Erica Rhodes
Uh. Oh.
Adam Carolla
Now listen. He gets nicknamed New Scum. But I don't. I don't like it.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Nuisance is better.
Erica Rhodes
He's like old scum Nuisance. Yeah, Nuisance sounds better.
Adam Carolla
I realize people keep tweeting me going, can you believe this guy's word salad? Word salad. And then I realized there used to be a great commercial for the Salad Shooter. Yeah, like, you know when you.
Dawson
I remember that.
Adam Carolla
You know when you're hungry for salad, but you don't have a pistol.
Erica Rhodes
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. No, that's a weird pitch, right?
Dawson
You put a cucumber in a top.
Adam Carolla
It'S like. It's a weird concept, but there's a salad shooter. So I thought his name could be shooter Salad McGavin. As a tip of the cap to the salad. Talk to Salad Shooter. And Corsi, Adam Sandler film. Okay. So I like. It's a little. It's a little verbose. It's a little much. But if we could go. If we could go shooter salad. You know, McGavin, I think that might work.
Dawson
It's gonna catch on.
Adam Carolla
So he's a salad shooter, and he just talks about feelings and vibes and good stuff, too. I wasn't getting at anything. And he was doing a real. I don't know, I liked a tweet from, like, earlier today, but he had a real word salad about jobs and film industry. I think. I think it was. I think I liked it. I don't know, like, you know, a couple hours ago. But it was a real. Like, there's him and Kamala do the word salad thing. And the word salad thing is all part of the new order of not doing anything but just talking about church all the feelings and good feelings and good vibes and lots of buzzwords in there. And people always say to me, why do I protest against it so much? And the reason I protest against it so much is it's in place of doing stuff. It's tons of extra talk because nothing's getting done. The get done people speak fast and they get you done, and they don't do a lot of extra. You know, when you. When you would. When you'd see Kamala talk, you're like, she said a thousand words, but I don't know what she's talking about doing.
Erica Rhodes
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
All right, let's see. Let's see if I have this one. It's pretty.
Erica Rhodes
Does he still do his podcast? Was he doing a podcast for a second?
Adam Carolla
No. I don't know. I don't know. But here he is. Let's see.
Gavin Newsom
Express gratitude for distilling the essence of the Washington.
Erica Rhodes
Why distilling?
Gavin Newsom
We're here and what it is all about. It's about all of you. It's about all of us. It's about, as was stated by the senator, spirit, pride.
Erica Rhodes
Spirit.
Gavin Newsom
Can't legislate spirit and pride.
Adam Carolla
Well, you can. You can force gay pride in front of everybody.
Gavin Newsom
You can create the conditions.
Dawson
Nightmare. Blunt rotation.
Adam Carolla
Spirit. Spirit.
Gavin Newsom
And so this guy's stone, huh? Investment we're making.
Adam Carolla
I don't know what he's.
Gavin Newsom
The conditions.
Adam Carolla
Wait, run it again. Just. I have no idea what he's talking about.
Erica Rhodes
He's just saying words.
Dawson
And by the way, I know, that's interesting.
Erica Rhodes
The spirit of the condition.
Dawson
I liked it.
Erica Rhodes
I'm gonna learn this one sense of self monologue.
Adam Carolla
Can we do this? Karen Bass is nodding her head.
Dawson
That's what I mean.
Erica Rhodes
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
Black people. Can you stop facilitating this? This fucking word salad. Your own do it a lot. White people do it. Stand back there and go, hey, get your. It don't go. Yeah. Yeah. Huh? Yeah. No. No one knows the. You're talking about. Hit him with a folding chair. Hit him with a salad shooter. Yeah.
Jason Mayhem Miller
He's also weirdly talking with halted speech.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. There's something wrong. He's a dumb guy.
Jason Mayhem Miller
He is dumb.
Adam Carolla
Dumb. He's really dumb. Like, it's really. You start to realize, like, Hakeem Jeffries and all these Maisie Hirono and stuff. You're talking about dumb. Really dumb people. There's other people you can disagree with. With, but they're not dumb.
Erica Rhodes
But he's so confident about.
Adam Carolla
I know.
Erica Rhodes
Like, he has an airpod in not saying yeah.
Dawson
And he's rapping to the beat. You know what I mean?
Adam Carolla
All right, well, we'll remain silent. Start from the beginning. Just drink it all in.
Erica Rhodes
Okay?
Gavin Newsom
I want to express gratitude for distilling the essence of the why we're here and what it is all about. It's about all of you. It's about all of us. It's about out. As was stated by the senator, spirit and pride can't legislate spirit and pride. It tends to just take shape. But you can create the conditions to help take that and make it real, make it visible. Spirit and pride. And so that's the investment we're making today to create the conditions where your passion could be met with action. Your creativity, your daring, your innovation can be brought to light. And that's a point of pride for me as a Californian, as someone who grew up mindful that the world we invented. 1871.
Dawson
Mom's spaghetti.
Adam Carolla
I don't know what the fuck he's talking about.
Erica Rhodes
No, he's not saying anything.
Adam Carolla
All right.
Erica Rhodes
It's like a bad high school soccer coach.
Adam Carolla
This should scare people.
Dawson
Yeah, yeah.
Erica Rhodes
Like, come on, guys. We're gonna get to it, and we're.
Adam Carolla
Gonna distill this spirit.
Erica Rhodes
We're gonna use spirit to get, you know, to do what we meant to do with the things that we were given.
Adam Carolla
I don't. I. Why are. Is it because most people are dumb that they don't like. I go, I don't know what the fuck this person's talking about. I want them running my state. And people go, I like him. I don't know what he's saying. He doesn't say anything.
Erica Rhodes
They respond to the confidence and the boo boo boo.
Adam Carolla
Cause they're dumb. Oh, you know what it is? Oh, you know. You know what? You're right.
Erica Rhodes
Yeah. It's inflection.
Adam Carolla
It's like a dog.
Erica Rhodes
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
Like when you could say to a dog. You could say to a dog, I love you so much. You're gonna get a treat. Good treat, good treat. And the dog goes.
Erica Rhodes
You gotta. You're.
Adam Carolla
Or you could go, you're such a little. Aren't you? Look at you, you little smelly. Come on.
Dawson
I'm gonna murder you.
Adam Carolla
I'm gonna murder you, and then I'm gonna eat your flesh. Okay, who wants to go for a murder? Who wants to go for a murder? Who wants to go for a murder? Yeah. Oh, so we're just dumb dogs and we have to go.
Erica Rhodes
And he's just saying. He's saying words that we are Told to say, put this word in and put that word in and then go.
Dawson
Inflection happens all the time on the Internet.
Erica Rhodes
Believe what you're saying. Believe it.
Adam Carolla
All the years ago, I got him in here and I was like, could we talk about traffic? Could somebody talk about traffic? And he just, like. He started laughing the whole time. And I was like explaining to him, no, it's an issue. It's like a big issue. And he's just. He was laughing. He didn't.
Erica Rhodes
Well, traffic's never gonna get votes, right?
Adam Carolla
But he didn't seem to know what I was talking about, which is a weird. I told him I had a very basic thing. I said, look, people get into fender bending, little fender bendles, because they're in traffic, they're bumper to bumper, and their bumpers hit and they get out of the car in the middle of the freeway, they start extending. They think it's a crime zone, they gotta pull over, they gotta get off onto the shoulder. Standing in the middle of the fucking freeway. Now. He goes, huh? And I go, in other cities, they have signs that say, if it steers, it clears. If your car works, pull it over. And he's like, where? You know, people show me. Send me pictures from Wyoming if it fucking. They don't have a traffic problem there. Why don't we have these steers that clear things? And he's like, what are you talking about? Like, he doesn't know.
Erica Rhodes
He's probably never driven himself.
Dawson
I was gonna say he's in the back seat of limousine.
Adam Carolla
Listen, people say that, but I've been driven a million places. You sit in the fucking traffic and you notice what the fuck's going on with this guy? All right, here's a minute. But it's. Great line. It's a great line. All right, la, Horrible problem with traffic. As you know, we could alleviate a lot of it. Oh, well. What? But we're stupid.
Gavin Newsom
What?
Adam Carolla
LA is one of the dumbest cities in America. Well, every other city has a bunch of signs posted along the freeway that basically says, if you can steer it, clear it, meaning if you get in a little fender bender, pull over. Hey, if your car's on fire, fine, go ahead and climb out of it. But if you just traded a little bit of paint and a little bit of the plastic on your Prius's scuff, don't get out and go all CSI on us and block off the number three lane, pull it off to the side of your block in the freeway, pull it off. All the other states do it, L.A. and California, with some of the worst traffic in the world, doesn't have Idaho thought of. Is that right? This can't be the first time you've heard this. Well, not specifically this.
Gavin Newsom
I saw a billboard out on the 405 says, you're not stuck in traffic. And you're thinking, how the hell.
Adam Carolla
What does that mean?
Gavin Newsom
It says, you are traffic, which I kind of like. Which sort of made the point about our own behavior that said, you know, I hate the block in the box stuff, which we don't afford.
Adam Carolla
He doesn't.
Erica Rhodes
You are the traffic, Adam.
Adam Carolla
He know the fuck he's talking about. He doesn't. I didn't. Okay, that's his. Him. That's him. I'm trying to talk to him about traffic, and he's laughing.
Jason Mayhem Miller
This illustrates Larry Charles saying that Newsome is dumb. He's dumb because you presented a solution, and he comes back with floaty, dreamy. You are traffic.
Erica Rhodes
You are the traffic man.
Adam Carolla
No, I know. I always say I hope he doesn't become an oncologist. Like, hey, you don't have cancer. You are camping now. I'm gonna eat. We're done. I look kind of like that.
Erica Rhodes
You are.
Adam Carolla
It's like, yes, fucking sir, douche a lot. What the fuck are you talking about? But the weird thing is, is people don't know how dumb he is, which is weird. He's sociopathically.
Erica Rhodes
He doesn't know how dumb.
Adam Carolla
He doesn't know it. He doesn't know it.
Erica Rhodes
Okay.
Adam Carolla
But yet my mom's last words were, I said, are you gonna vote for Larry Elder? Are you gonna vote for Gavin Newsom? She goes, I don't know who Larry Elder is, but I know who Gavin Newsom is, and I'm voting for him.
Erica Rhodes
That was your mom's last words?
Adam Carolla
Yeah. We got her off the record, though. We got her off the books. I don't know if that was her. No. Probably last words was like, john, get me some water or something is my stepdad's name, but I don't know. It wasn't close to last word. Second to last word.
Erica Rhodes
She's gonna go vote for the guy she knows.
Adam Carolla
Right.
Erica Rhodes
She doesn't know anything about him.
Adam Carolla
Who's a retarded person.
Erica Rhodes
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
All right, let's take ourselves a break. We got some news. We'll do the news right after this. Simply safe. Here's the deal. Most security systems, they wait until after someone breaks in. That's too late. I use Simplisafe because it actually stops crime before it Starts. Imagine that. A little prevention. Mm. You know the adage their active guard outdoor protection has these AI cameras and real people watching your place. If some creep is lurking around, the agents can talk to them, flip on the spotlight, even call the cops, right Then, not after your stuff is gone. No contracts, no hidden fees. None of that nonsense. Over 4 million people trust SimpliSafe. Two I's in there. So it's not just me. Plans start at about a buck a day. That's right, a buck a day and you can try it out. 60 days. Try it. They got a money back guarantee if you don't love it. It is Simplisafe, right, Dawson?
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Erica Rhodes
Sometimes I hook up with people. Like, recently, I met a guy, and I just messed it up early on because I. I was like, I can't tell you like me. Cause you haven't hit on me at all. And he's like, well, I don't want to hit on you too soon, because that might ruin things. I was like, okay, but if you don't hit on me at all, I have no clue, right? So finally he hit on me. And then we were having sex. And in the middle of his sex, he's like, can you tell I like you now? I was like, yeah, actually I can, because we're maintaining eye contact. It's going Pretty well. We both seemed to be enjoying ourselves. And then he came, and I was like, but do you still like me now?
Jason Mayhem Miller
Erica Rhodes is on the Adam Carolla Show.
Adam Carolla
Erica Rhodes has dates. I seen her do stand up more than once. That is at the Comedy Club in Kansas City. That'll be coming up July 26th, 27th, and then July 31st. Comedy Vault.
Erica Rhodes
Thank you. I've had more and more fans from the show come to my shows.
Adam Carolla
I always appreciate the comedians who come in here, and a lot of them do, and they say, oh, people here on the show. And they come in here.
Erica Rhodes
Yeah, they get really excited.
Adam Carolla
Good.
Erica Rhodes
They're big fans of yours.
Adam Carolla
It's a nice little community.
Dawson
Yeah, yeah, same here. They've been throwing stuff at me. Yeah, it's great.
Erica Rhodes
Yeah, they're a lot of couples too, which is kind of fun when it's like, a couple.
Adam Carolla
I gotta tell you, the word of mouth sort of vibe. Like, I'll have a lot of dads come in with their sons, and the son will go, he made me listen. And now I'm, you know, the son or, you know, the wife's usually, you know, he'll. The wives will go, he's really married to you. Cause all he says is, you know what Adam said? You know what Adam said? And I always listen. It's all gravy. It's all stuff I never expected, and it's all good. And I. The best part of this job is the people. For some reason. It's because I was a radio guy. I always listened to the radio, and I listened, like, alone a lot on job sites, and I used the radio for company a lot. I realized a lot. Like, I could remember before I was on Loveline, I was building a boxing gym, Bodies in motion in West LA. And they would close at 10 at night, and they'd open at, like, 6 in the morning. So the guy was like, if you're gonna work on this gym, you gotta work from closing time till open time. So my shift was fixing this place up, hanging heavy bags, speed bag stations, all that. Just doing the work, the maintenance of a gym. I would start at 10 at night, but I bring my radio and I put Loveline on. And then I was just alone in this weird dark gym at night. But I'm listening to Loveline, and it would, like, keep me company. Like, I really. If you told me you gotta work all night, you know, this is before the pods and the things and the players and everything. You just work with no sound or even just music. I Would have been. I would have been like, no, I want company.
Erica Rhodes
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
And I felt that way driving a lot. Being on construction sites, driving a truck, you know, just being on sites where everyone spoke Spanish. I was like the only guy speaking English, you know? And I'm listening to my morning radio, guys and stuff. It was more than a treat. It was kind of a necessity for me. Like, it kept me sane, and I was doing a job I didn't want to do, but I had this looking forward to listening to these voices.
Dawson
Oh, yeah, man.
Adam Carolla
And sort of dreaming, like, what if one day I could do that? You know? And it meant a lot. So, like, when people say to me, you know, you got me through some tough times, or I got a long commute, or you get me through that, or I take my hike every morning and you keep me company. It's the best.
Erica Rhodes
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
So all you do that. God bless. Thank you. Tell me those stories. It's the best part of this job.
Erica Rhodes
Yeah, that's great.
Adam Carolla
And the booger sugar. Keep that booger sugar. Those are the two.
Dawson
I'll keep it rolling.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. So I know we got news. I looked down. I was trying to tell doc. I told Dr. Drew about this commercial. I started noticing. So people were tweeting me that there was this Jaguar commercial. They kept tweeting me that Jaguar sales, the car were down 97%. And I was like, why? Wow. Jaguar has a storied history. They're British. They're Insignia. They're hood ornament. It's a Jaguar. It's called the Leaper. It's like leaping out. And Jag has one. They have a real extensive racing history here. They kind of import their luxury cars, but they have a real sporting history. Lots of Le Mans, lots of winter. I think they've won Le Mans. I don't know. Let's see how many times Jag has won Le Mans. Like, I don't know if they've won and won in their class. Anyway, they race and they're hard. They're badass race cars. But in England, they have a real history. I mean, they're 100-year-old company, and then they came out with this commercial with all these androgynous he. She guys wearing, I don't know what, like, a coat.
Dawson
I remember.
Adam Carolla
I remember, like, they were in a Madonna Vogue video or something. And everyone's like, what the fuck is this? Cause I want to see a car. I want to talk about horsepower and torque, internal combustion and all this shit. I don't want to See he shes walking around.
Erica Rhodes
He shes. They're trying to appeal to more people.
Dawson
Some were.
Adam Carolla
She won Le Mans seven times. They must have won. I'm trying to look back. Must be early Jag, their history. What were their years? 7 Le Mans win for a car company. You know, everyone does the big Ford vs Ferrari and Ford this and Ford that. But they won three times or maybe four times. Ford did four years in a row, and then they got out. But the point is, is Jag has won seven times. That's a big deal. Yeah, now they got the he she strutting around with their dicks taped up between their legs. And so the sales fell through the roof because nobody wants that.
Erica Rhodes
Oh, really?
Adam Carolla
Well, no one is looking to buy a Jag wants to buy by a fag. I mean, let's be honest. Well, I mean, it rhymed, so. Oh, I don't approve.
Erica Rhodes
Your producers are peeking in.
Dawson
I don't approve. No one approves of it Rhyme.
Adam Carolla
It rhymes.
Dawson
Everybody's stressed out.
Erica Rhodes
Yeah. No one's okay with it.
Adam Carolla
All right, now just listen to me.
Erica Rhodes
They go.
Adam Carolla
Jag has won in 51, 53, 55, 56. That's a run. 57. I mean, you won five times between 51 and 57. 88 and 90. Anyway, now they don't got any car sales anymore. But I was trying to explain to Drew that this is a trend that's been happening for a while. And then I was trying to explain to him about VW commercial. German automobile company. Vw. VW came out with a commercial about three or four years ago. A mixed race gay couple adopted a sheet. And Drew was like, what?
Erica Rhodes
Adopted a sheet.
Adam Carolla
And I was like, it is a car commercial for vw. And he's like, huh? I was like, you gotta study the commercials. Nobody studies the commercials. The commercials tell you where we're at as a society.
Erica Rhodes
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
They go, oh, this is where we're at. 30 seconds of this is where we're at. All right, So I don't know. Let's look at the Jag one first. The Jag. So the point is, they don't even show the car. Subaru tells us their cars are made with love and just shows dogs driving their cars. But Jag is like. Like, we're not even gonna show the car.
Erica Rhodes
Oh, wow.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Erica Rhodes
This is for Jack. This is so weird.
Adam Carolla
It looks like drug.
Erica Rhodes
Yeah, this is so weird.
Adam Carolla
People from the future.
Dawson
Look, I know you think I'm weird, but, like, I would love to go.
Erica Rhodes
To this party, but I would Never know this is for a car. Never in a million years.
Adam Carolla
It's a bunch of.
Erica Rhodes
I'd be like, what is this for?
Adam Carolla
It's a bunch of androgynous, he, she, weirdos.
Erica Rhodes
That's for Jaguar.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Dawson
Whoever made that technique beat, that was his friend.
Erica Rhodes
It looks like a car that, like, used to be a car.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, it's not even a car. Well, they don't show a car. They show a rock.
Erica Rhodes
Yeah, the rock was in the shape of a car.
Adam Carolla
It's a bunch of people who, if they got indicted for something, you wouldn't know what prison they would go to. You'd be like, you don't know the man.
Erica Rhodes
Somebody overthought that pitch. They were like, I've got it. We don't even show the car. What?
Adam Carolla
It's not. Okay, so. All right, so then they get punished. Cause nobody likes a commercial. And also, why would you buy a car? These people don't look like.
Erica Rhodes
You cannot even show the car.
Adam Carolla
These people don't look like they drive cars.
Erica Rhodes
Right? Yeah.
Adam Carolla
They look like they're ushered around on refrigerator dollies, like in Silence of the Lambs. All right, so then the VW commercial from, like, three years ago that Drew freaked Drew out. He never saw it. And the Volvo, too.
Erica Rhodes
This is already better.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. All right. It's okay. Hold on.
Dawson
Cute.
Jason Mayhem Miller
All right.
Adam Carolla
It's a. It's a biracial, gay couple. I'm hoping they're gay or they're just adult dudes who live together.
Dawson
Bert Nurney.
Erica Rhodes
They're brothers.
Adam Carolla
Who adopted a sheep. Now, Drew made a good point. There was a dog leash in the house. Drew thought the sheepdog that was herding the sheep was their dog. No, I didn't think it was, but what happened to their dog? They kicked their dog out because they got a sheep.
Erica Rhodes
Sheep? No, they've had the. No, this was like a flash forward where they're. Now, they've had the sheep for a while. So they got it. They got a. Oh, they got. Yeah, they've had it for a while.
Adam Carolla
That's not a rando. Yeah, they've had it for a while. That's a good take. I told Drew that. No, that's not their dog. But what are they. Okay, first.
Dawson
No, no, no. Get it right. They were visiting. They stole that jeep that sheep had stolen.
Adam Carolla
No, they were surprised. The sheep had let themselves into the back of the SUV and closed the.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Hatch, which makes perfect sense.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Dawson
No, they were doing poppers the whole time.
Adam Carolla
They didn't remember.
Dawson
They woke up out of a blackout.
Erica Rhodes
Sheep escaped into their car. They rescued it.
Adam Carolla
They.
Erica Rhodes
And then they got all the stuff they need to own it.
Adam Carolla
What were they doing initially, though? Just pulled off by the side of the road staring at sheep?
Dawson
Yeah, I think so.
Adam Carolla
You know what I mean?
Dawson
There's some nefarious purpose behind this sheep.
Adam Carolla
All right, but they're definitely a gay couple, right?
Dawson
They definitely got Only fans.
Erica Rhodes
They're brothers. I'm sticking to it.
Adam Carolla
All right, so that's. Now they're trying to sell us a German suv. All right, we'll just play the commercial.
Erica Rhodes
Sheep are German. Life gets bigger when you break from the herd.
Adam Carolla
Oh.
Erica Rhodes
It's about going on your own journey, your own path. It's okay if you're gay, too.
Adam Carolla
Could you imagine? I'm just imagining they're sitting in some boardroom in Madison Avenue and they're talking to the VW officials like German guys, you know? And they're like, listen, listen. Yeah, we got your pitch.
Erica Rhodes
Okay, okay, tell us, tell us.
Adam Carolla
We got a biracial gay couple who adopts a sheep.
Dawson
Can one of them be blocked?
Adam Carolla
Yeah. No, biracial.
Erica Rhodes
Oh, yes.
Adam Carolla
Okay, maybe the other one.
Erica Rhodes
Don't you think?
Adam Carolla
But don't you think one of the guys from the ad firm would, like, pull the other guy's side and go just. Excuse me. Excuse me for one second. Bob, can I talk to you in the hall for a second? They're not selling butt bugs. Would you fucking get your fucking pitch together? They're vw. They're German.
Erica Rhodes
Trust me.
Adam Carolla
You think they make strap ons and cock rings? What the fuck are you talking about?
Erica Rhodes
They say it's about spirit and it's about conf. It's about coming together, all right?
Dawson
Breaking from the head.
Adam Carolla
We've cleared a mamas and a papa song, all right? So we're already halfway home. Is it Mama's and Zipap?
Jason Mayhem Miller
If you sell it as the new VW butt plug and say it's German engineer.
Adam Carolla
German engineer. Ooh, wait a minute.
Jason Mayhem Miller
The Germans know some things about that.
Adam Carolla
German Volkswagen was found in 1937 breaking from the hurt by the Nazi party. Can you imagine sitting those people down and go, this is your company now? They'd be like, what the. They'd be like, we definitely lost the war. That much I know. We definitely did not win.
Dawson
That war is not going to be.
Adam Carolla
No. Zafir killed himself in a bunker. We lost. We lost the cultural war. We lost World War II. We lost it all, bitches. Jesus Christ have fallen. All right? So they I think you're right. Once they adopt, they don't really explain why they were surprised that the sheep was in the back of the car. But we suspended their imagination.
Dawson
Little happy accident.
Erica Rhodes
It's like the sheep chose them. They didn't choose the sheep. The sheep chose them to be adopted. And they're like, okay, we'll take you right? And fast forward two weeks. They've got all this stuff.
Adam Carolla
They gave him a bubble bath. They walk him on the beach.
Erica Rhodes
Yeah. Now he's theirs.
Adam Carolla
Now he's theirs.
Erica Rhodes
Yeah.
Jason Mayhem Miller
The title of that commercial is Mary's had a Little Lamb.
Adam Carolla
Really?
Dawson
A couple of Marys, Mary. We get it.
Adam Carolla
Okay, Mary. Homes dot com. You've heard me talk about these guys. Some might say homes.com is the best home shopping site. It may be that homes.com has a super comprehensive and transparent agent directory. Or Maybe it's that homes.com is the only site that always directly connects you with the listing agent who knows your home the best. Or at least the one you're looking at. Perhaps it's because homes.com has the most in depth neighborhood content and the only home shopping site that's extensively researched. To highlight the personality of each neighborhood, homes.com goes above and beyond to bring the home shoppers the in depth info they need to find the right home. Homes.com. we've done your homework. Work.
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Adam Carolla
Pay.
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Adam Carolla
The other one that's funny is I was trying to explain. There's a Volvo commercial where the. Dad, it's all sensitive shit now. They used to talk about horsepower and torque. Yeah, torque was a thing. Horsepower, rust proofing, mileage, sticker price. They'd give you the sticker price, you know. No, this is a guy for a Volvo commercial who's just. He kind of looks like a terrorist. And he just sits in this Volvo parked in front of a lighthouse and he just composes this sappy ass bitch letter to his daughter who's getting married. Oh my God. And he almost cries the whole time.
Erica Rhodes
Oh my God.
Adam Carolla
And it's so fucking weak. So weak.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Sometimes love won't be enough. You'll have to make the decision to continue to.
Adam Carolla
To keep trying.
Jason Mayhem Miller
And that won't always be your first instinct.
Erica Rhodes
Please tell me this ends With a.
Adam Carolla
Sheep just riding a letter to a scar.
Erica Rhodes
You're also a sheep.
Jason Mayhem Miller
I remember you were 10 years old and I was. I drove you to summer camp when.
Adam Carolla
I was dropping you off. You had this smile. This same smile I see today. They all do her face for two minutes.
Jason Mayhem Miller
And I had to pull over picture auditioning for this.
Adam Carolla
Hold on. This guy's such a pussy. You understand? We'll never win another war. You people with all the pussification of all the fucking dudes in this country. Jesus Christ. Let's start lactating. Listen to this. He. He's writing his daughter a letter in a Volvo.
Erica Rhodes
There's a rainbow, too.
Adam Carolla
Volvo. Can we hear something about suspension travel or stopping distance or disc brakes or anything? Or is it just a terrorist sitting in his car talking to his dumbo daughter? Who's getting married, by the way. Married, I'm guessing to a chick or a sheep or something. Can't marry a dude, right? He's explaining that he dropped her off at 10, when she was 10, at summer camp. And then she smiled and he left and he had to pull over because he was crying so hard.
Erica Rhodes
Feels like more like he just killed her.
Adam Carolla
I know.
Erica Rhodes
He's like, I remember the good times.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Dawson
He just buried her.
Adam Carolla
I'm sorry.
Dawson
You're just by the lighthouse. I'll bury you by the lighthouse so I can always see your light.
Adam Carolla
Sorry I had to throw you in the bag. I don't want your mom to find a body.
Erica Rhodes
Where is she? Why isn't she in the car with him?
Adam Carolla
She's good. Getting married, I think. Cause I saw a version of the commercial, but he's writing a letter. Oh, you know what? He's probably writing his speech.
Dawson
Yeah, he is.
Adam Carolla
For the wedding, right? He's gotta give a speech.
Erica Rhodes
He's driving to the wedding now or something.
Adam Carolla
I don't know. I put. Okay, just go back a little. I just like. I like when he. Same smile I see today. I drove for about two minutes and.
Jason Mayhem Miller
I had to pull over. I was crying so much that. That I couldn't see the road.
Adam Carolla
The reason I'm telling you this is.
Jason Mayhem Miller
That there will be moments in your.
Adam Carolla
Life that you will just never be ready for. Oh, that's a wedding bell. Oh, the ring. All right, all right. Pause. Oh, wait a minute.
Erica Rhodes
Wait.
Adam Carolla
He lost his.
Dawson
I get it.
Adam Carolla
Mom's dead.
Erica Rhodes
Mom's dead. I knew someone was dead. I was like, it's too much.
Adam Carolla
The show's wedding ring. She's not in there. There.
Jason Mayhem Miller
This took a turn.
Erica Rhodes
Someone has to be dead now.
Adam Carolla
Don't you mom's mom's in the boat house blowing a sea captain. She'll be out about 20. But I gotta finish this letter.
Dawson
Hark, Triton.
Adam Carolla
You know what's so funny? You know what you have to picture with all these commercials? You have to picture with all these commercials. Well, no. Oh, there's the pitch.
Erica Rhodes
The audition.
Adam Carolla
There's the audition. Keep going back, back.
Erica Rhodes
Before the pitch.
Adam Carolla
Before the audition.
Erica Rhodes
Before the Audi. Before the. After the pitch.
Dawson
Right of room.
Adam Carolla
There's the pitch. Oh God. Hold on. There's the pitch.
Erica Rhodes
The director.
Adam Carolla
Then there's the audition. Yeah, but between that comes what? Casting.
Erica Rhodes
The storybooks. Storyboard.
Adam Carolla
Now you're getting too technical before location. I'm gonna help you guys. The help you guys.
Erica Rhodes
Okay?
Dawson
The fluffer.
Adam Carolla
This guy's an actor. He's not a Volvo driver. He's not a dad. He's an actor. He got the fucking size.
Erica Rhodes
Oh yeah.
Adam Carolla
He had to sit around in his Burbank apartment with his fucking wife because this guy auditioned for commercials. And he also drives for Uber.
Erica Rhodes
Learning the lines.
Adam Carolla
She gets the script and he's like Helen, would you just. Just. And he's sitting on a folding chair and they're in the apartment and he's like that smile. The same at 10. I dropped you off at summer camp and I pulled off the road and I. Shit. Line two cries. Oh, wait, you couldn't see. No, I wept. No, just cried.
Dawson
Yeah, you cried. I couldn't see the road.
Erica Rhodes
You forgot you had to pull over.
Adam Carolla
Okay, okay, let's try it again.
Erica Rhodes
It like you mean it this time. Cuz I'm not really buying it.
Adam Carolla
Hey, is the ramen done or not? Cuz I'm starving in here.
Erica Rhodes
You. You're so close. You're. You're so close and I'm really.
Dawson
I land this.
Erica Rhodes
Run this.
Adam Carolla
Let me just run it. Just let me run it.
Erica Rhodes
Just do three in a row. Okay, you were three in a row.
Adam Carolla
You were. Okay, you were nine.
Erica Rhodes
Yep.
Adam Carolla
And I. Wait a minute. Ten.
Dawson
Ten, actually.
Erica Rhodes
It doesn't matter. Just keep going.
Adam Carolla
Okay, well, a minute ago I said wet and you said cried. You made a big deal over it.
Erica Rhodes
Well, we don't know what they're gonna care about. Okay.
Dawson
Never gonna finish this self tape. Guys, hold on.
Adam Carolla
I don't even know what you're doing in the room. This is me and my wife.
Erica Rhodes
Do it again. Acting coach for you. Cause you're so bad.
Adam Carolla
You got acting coach. Okay, that's right.
Dawson
I'm $65 an hour.
Adam Carolla
I got a fucking Uber pickup in 11 minutes. So get the fucking Ramen acting coach. Here we go. Auditions tomorrow. Volvo. Let me set the table. Okay. I'm a father. Okay. My daughter's getting married. Okay. My wife is deceased. Okay. And I'm.
Erica Rhodes
How does it make you feel, though? Like you need to get to the feeling.
Adam Carolla
That's what I'm doing. I'm composing a speech to make it her wedding. Okay.
Erica Rhodes
Okay.
Adam Carolla
Okay. Are you ready? Okay. Go.
Erica Rhodes
You got this?
Adam Carolla
Okay, just. You were 10. I dropped you off at summer camp. I saw that smile on your face.
Dawson
Work your eyes.
Adam Carolla
The same smile I see today.
Dawson
Thoughtful.
Adam Carolla
I had to pull over after two miles because I couldn't see. Because I was crying.
Erica Rhodes
Oh, man.
Adam Carolla
So much.
Dawson
Let me see it.
Erica Rhodes
Yeah, you had a real pause there.
Adam Carolla
Line.
Erica Rhodes
I was crying so much because.
Adam Carolla
Line.
Erica Rhodes
What was it? I was crying so much, so I had to pull over.
Adam Carolla
I said that I couldn't.
Dawson
Steven's Road.
Adam Carolla
I said that. What's the next line?
Erica Rhodes
There are things in life that you can't predict.
Adam Carolla
Okay, let me just pick.
Erica Rhodes
Your wife dying.
Adam Carolla
Let me pick it up.
Erica Rhodes
Okay.
Adam Carolla
There are things in life that you can't predict.
Dawson
Touch the wedding ring.
Adam Carolla
Well, I don't. Took it off of the wedding ring. Let's hear it again. All right, let's hear this.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Telling you this is that there will.
Adam Carolla
Be moments in your life that you will just never be ready for. Take Matthew to be your lawful wedding husband. Your little girl getting married being one of them.
Erica Rhodes
I do.
Adam Carolla
Drowning your wife in a bay. Another one of the things she didn't prepare for in high school. Oh, my God.
Erica Rhodes
Was that a Bible? Oh, no, that was his notebook.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Erica Rhodes
A place.
Dawson
I gotta tell you, man, I think I want a Volvo.
Adam Carolla
He.
Jason Mayhem Miller
He also. He lives in a lighthouse.
Adam Carolla
So. He totally killed his wife.
Dawson
Yeah.
Erica Rhodes
Yeah, he definitely killed his wife.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Nobody who lives in a lighthouse is not guilty of murder.
Adam Carolla
That's true. Yeah.
Erica Rhodes
I mean, also, the people that had to watch all those audition tapes, that's also pretty cool.
Adam Carolla
I know. They have to sit there. That guy's just sitting on a folding chair. He's got a sheet hanging behind him. He's pretending there's a steering wheel.
Erica Rhodes
Doing all this eye acting, looking down, tortured.
Adam Carolla
All right. So you wouldn't buy the Jag.
Erica Rhodes
No.
Adam Carolla
But the Volvo. At least we got some shots of the interior.
Erica Rhodes
Yeah. You saw the car? I would probably go. I. I would probably go for the sheep. Personally, it was. It was just a little more creative. And it caught my Attention. And I'm like sheep.
Dawson
I don't remember what that car looked like, but this lighthouse car shake a hideout body. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Erica Rhodes
But that vault, I mean, there was some darkness around that one. Totally dark.
Adam Carolla
And the mom's definitely dead. Right. Otherwise she would be going with him.
Erica Rhodes
To the wedding trunk of the car.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Maybe she's in prison.
Adam Carolla
She's in prison.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Maybe she's in prison.
Adam Carolla
Oh, yeah.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Tragic dui. She was coming home from the country club after too many martinis. Three to five groundskeepers.
Erica Rhodes
He's also estranged from his daughter. Like, this is a first time he's actually seen her in, like, 10 years.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, yeah.
Jason Mayhem Miller
He doesn't get to walk her down the aisle.
Adam Carolla
That's it.
Erica Rhodes
No, he's just. He's crashing this. He's crashing this wedding.
Dawson
The mom's death was kind of murky.
Erica Rhodes
You know what I mean?
Dawson
There's a reason she didn't talk to him.
Jason Mayhem Miller
He's got a horrible gambling problem too.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Yeah. I watched the day, and there's certain cultures where molestation isn't really frowned upon or it's looked at differently culturally than we look at it in our Western.
Jason Mayhem Miller
And you can't judge different cultures.
Dawson
Laws of the law Land says it in the Koran.
Adam Carolla
That's right.
Erica Rhodes
Yes.
Adam Carolla
All right. Should we do a little news?
Dawson
Let's do it. Let's do it. On that sour note, Amazon.
Adam Carolla
Hey.
Dawson
We live in the future. Will now employ more robots than humans as 1 million machines toil across facilities.
Adam Carolla
Oh, my God. Yeah.
Dawson
Amazon will soon use more robots in its warehouses than human employees. With more than 1 million machines deployed across the facility. I just said that. Many of the robots cover heavy lifting and warehouse work.
Sammy the Bull Gravano
Work.
Dawson
Picking up items and picking them down from tall shelves, moving goods around.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Dawson
More robots.
Adam Carolla
Well, look, everything is a robot and people don't really think about it. But let me blow your minds.
Dawson
Nice.
Erica Rhodes
All right.
Adam Carolla
In a way, a donk. A monkey is a robot, and a horse is a robot. A camel's a robot.
Erica Rhodes
But they're living, but someone has to feed them.
Adam Carolla
I know, but basically what man has done for a million years is they're like, we got all those logs and we gotta move them.
Erica Rhodes
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
I don't wanna take 10 dudes and try to drag the log, but I'll get one elephant and hook the log up to the elephant and have the elephant drag the log out of there.
Dawson
Outsource.
Erica Rhodes
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
And I don't wanna have 20 dudes walk in a circ with this. With this mill grist. And grist. Well, get some donkeys to go in a circle and do it. And so we kind of went, we'll just use stuff, you know. And then like when you think, you know, when you're in, you go, Malibu, where I go. And they're cleaning up after the fire. They got these long arm excavators. They park them on top of the hill and they go all the way down and they clean all the junk off, all the burnt debris on the side of that hill. You can get 20 people to do it, but they got to go down and drag the shit up. So you got one dude doing it, and he's in a robot. You got one guy's operating a robot that's doing the work of 50 guys.
Erica Rhodes
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
So then we go, what about robots? It's like, well, we got a robot. We got a guy driving an 18 wheeler. It's got 2, 200 tons of shit in the back. And there's just one dude with a GED driving that thing to Kentucky. And it's not us caring. It, it's a robot. And eventually we'll get rid of the one dude. Yeah, that's the way it's gonna work. We already got rid of a thousand people, and then we got rid of 200 donkeys. And now we got one dude. Yeah, and now we're gonna get rid of the one dude. But that's the evolution, right?
Dawson
Terminator Robots don't piss in bottles.
Adam Carolla
Mmm, that's a good point. And UPS drivers do.
Dawson
Yeah, yeah, and Amazon too. They're notorious for it because the trailer try to milk every last drop out of the human workers they can. And so guys have to pee in bottles during their shift.
Adam Carolla
At least.
Dawson
It's a whole cultural revolution.
Erica Rhodes
Ew.
Adam Carolla
I've found so many piss bottles.
Erica Rhodes
Gross.
Adam Carolla
Listen to me, you fucking animals. If you want a piss in a bottle, that's your fucking business, but do not throw it out on the side of my street.
Erica Rhodes
It's disgusting.
Adam Carolla
Ew. It's all over the place.
Erica Rhodes
It's in Malibu.
Adam Carolla
Not as much, but I've seen it a lot. I went from zero piss bottles to a lot of piss bottles. And I was asking, who's filling the piss bottles? And what is this scourge? Where's this come from? And somebody said, it's all the delivery guys.
Erica Rhodes
It's the traffic.
Adam Carolla
It's the traffic. No, look, listen. Listen to me. Yes, an airplane. Airplanes and cruise ships have to collect their septic shit and then they have to deal with it appropriately. They don't just dump it on your roof or into the ocean. I mean, they used to, but I mean, the point is, the point is, is they're responsible for it. UPS, Amazon. If you got 200,000 trucks driving around, you gotta put a little latrine in there and you gotta fucking deal with it. Cause there's no bathrooms to use. Not in la. Nobody's gonna let you. No gas station lets you use no restaurant. You can't use any bathrooms in LA.
Erica Rhodes
Yeah, so.
Adam Carolla
So these guys are out on an 11 hour shift, they're drinking their fucking monster energy drink. Yeah, come on now.
Dawson
Yeah, well, they're trying to get rid of that at this 3 million square foot facility in Shreveport, Louisiana.
Adam Carolla
3 million?
Dawson
Yeah, it's a big.
Adam Carolla
Does anyone know, I mean, if anyone sees a 10,000 square foot warehouse, you go, that's a big warehouse. If you see a 50,000 square foot, you go, Holy shit, 50,000.
Dawson
Yeah, they have 3 million. They have more than six dozen robotic arms to sort and stack millions of items. So it's a really like automated facility for the most part.
Adam Carolla
And can I say this?
Erica Rhodes
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
People are always like, but do you trust a robot? You know, like, do you really want an automated truck? Do you want somebody making decisions or working this or whatever? On the way here, I had a 15 minute discussion with Mike August about interviewing Sammy the Bull Gravano. And I said, he's coming in today. Yeah, he's in. I go, oh, I didn't see him on the sc. Oh yeah, he's in. Sammy the Bull's in. And we had a long talk about what we're going to talk about. And then I came in and I went, Sammy the Bull's coming in. And I went, nah, it's coming in next week. And I thought, oh yeah, that's all I do with Mike is have retarded conversations where he's wrong about shit. And then I realized people go, you really want a robot working on the schedule? It's like, well, I'll tell you what we got now we got fucking people. Yesterday I was like on the phone with my assistant, I was like, show starts at noon today. She said, no, it starts at one. I go, oh, I think I got an email. So it started at, at noon? No, it starts at one. It's on the thing. I put on the email. I go, I swear I just read an email. It said, start at noon. No, it's one o'. Clock. I go, oh yeah, I got the email. It says noon. Now it's at one. I Go. Okay, so the point is, who are we comparing the robots to? Our merry band of fuck ups that just fuck up everything. Like all the time. Like every time. There's the dates on there, July 11th and 12th, Kofi, Laugh Factory, two shows. And then it says Zany's. Yesterday it said two shows at Zany's and Rosemont. No, not two shows. No second show added. That was Mike telling Andrew, but he misunderstood. Mike missed smoke. So what do we compare? I will tell you all the humans and all the fuck ups all day, every day with simple stupid shit all the time. So I'll trust a robot. I trust a robot.
Erica Rhodes
I saw a moment in the street where, where like I was parked and it was a crosswalk and a person was walking and a robot was walking, you know, one of those delivery robots and the person was looking down at their phone and the robot went around the person.
Adam Carolla
That's what I'm saying.
Erica Rhodes
And I was like now, now we're dumber.
Adam Carolla
They're felt dumber. Yeah. I'm just saying we fuck up all the fucking time.
Erica Rhodes
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
I mean every, it happens to me all day, every day where people go, I thought you said no, the wrong date, the wrong time or the wrong what? It's like that's all it is. It's a never ending succession of miscommunications and screw ups in a. Mostly connected to Mike, but I would say in like a 21 hour period we had Sammy the Bull Gravano. We had a different starting time and we had a second show added that was never added in Rosemont in a 14 hour period. Like that's three fuck ups in 14 hours. Like it's all day every day. Yeah, I don't care that much. But don't worry about it. Robots, I guarantee they'll be better than us.
Erica Rhodes
Well, you could also argue that people are getting dumber because of robots.
Adam Carolla
Yes.
Erica Rhodes
You know that people are becoming more like robots because we're relying so much on the phones and the other things.
Adam Carolla
Yes. We've lost our ability to concentrate.
Erica Rhodes
Yeah. So you could argue that too.
Adam Carolla
I'm arguing that.
Erica Rhodes
That's what I was arguing.
Dawson
My phone thinks for me. I do what chatgpt tells me.
Adam Carolla
Listen, I'm not gonna sit here and listen to some sheep stealing bitch fucking attack me in my own studio. You weren't even supposed to be here today, Sammy. Nicole was supposed to be here.
Dawson
Oh, this is not Sammy.
Erica Rhodes
No, talk to ChatGPT.
Dawson
All right, you guys want to keep being pissed off at AI, Here you go. Hurts customers outraged over AI powered scanner that detects small marks and charges hundreds of dollars, including $440 for a 1 inch scuff. Yeah. Her customers are complaining. Yeah. And it's a nightmare because they can check every square inch of the car for any scuff or mark and then charge you a bunch of money for it.
Adam Carolla
I don't understand the rental car business. It just feels like an insane business to be in. Lending people. Fucking people are horrible. And you're giving them the cars.
Erica Rhodes
They're the crankiest people, too, who work at those places. They're never friendly.
Adam Carolla
No. Well, you're doing rental car stuff at an airport. Like, what? Did you ever dream of that as a youth? You know, like, one day I'm gonna work at Hertz. I'm gonna be at Burbank manning the Alamo kiosk. You know what I mean? Like, it's like.
Erica Rhodes
Yeah, that's so depressing.
Adam Carolla
And every part of it is depressing because you could be the person who just. First off, all you do is talk to disappointed people.
Erica Rhodes
Yeah. Is that the car?
Adam Carolla
We had an Escalade reserve. Yeah, but it's a first come, first serve. And all we have is a Daihatsu charade. Well, I have five, six kids. Well, sir, we don't have a firm reservation policy. If we had an Escalade available, we could give you one, but we don't have one. And then there's like some weird conversation. Tim, when's the Escalade coming back? Okay. Okay. Well, if you can wait till Wednesday. We have a Daihatsu charade right now. The person's like, God damn it. You know, like, it's all. And then you're the person who cleans the car out there, or you're the person who stands there, like a drop off, getting shit out of the car. People left, fast food, or like waving people in. And they're always at their worst because they're trying to make their flight. They got their fucking kids and the wives yelling at the husband and stuff. And you just sit there and suck in carbon monoxide and that fucking lifeless zone.
Dawson
So now do you have some sympathy for these people working there?
Erica Rhodes
No. Now we need. We need. Now I see the argument for robots because they should take over jobs like that.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. And they just stand there.
Erica Rhodes
Yeah, here's your car, there's your car.
Adam Carolla
And then there's a guy works the booth.
Dawson
Here's your car, there's your car. Yeah, they let me vacuum.
Adam Carolla
They work the booth where you're checking out, you know, and they always want something you don't have. Have. Like, do you have. Do you have the code? Do you have your Hertz code on you? And you're like, I just. I didn't book the car. My assistant booked. Did they give you the code? I can't let you. And there's people lining up behind you, you know, and they went, here's my driver's like, yeah, we need the exit code or whatever. And then you're like, pull over. Just pull here and I'll get my supervisor. It's all one big shit show. Yeah, there's no good part of that job.
Dawson
Invalid input. Invalid input. You forgot to fill up. That'll be $7,000.
Adam Carolla
The only person that had a great car rental job was oj.
Dawson
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
Oj Sprinting car.
Erica Rhodes
He had a job renting cars.
Adam Carolla
Oh, yeah.
Dawson
Sprinting through the airport, getting hurts.
Adam Carolla
Rent a car, yeah. Oh, you mean.
Erica Rhodes
Oh, I've seen that commercial.
Dawson
The juice is loose.
Erica Rhodes
The commercial where he runs. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I've seen that.
Adam Carolla
Where he runs. Yes.
Erica Rhodes
That's all I remember is running white Bronco. This was his peak of his career. Yeah, this was when he was at the top.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Dawson
I think of the Naked Gun movies.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. And. And they got the old lady going.
Dawson
This does it better than her.
Adam Carolla
Wow, they cleared the song.
Erica Rhodes
That is a good commercial. No, they're all hot.
Adam Carolla
They should be good looking people. Commercials. Now there's this crying terrorist. Gay guys who love sheep.
Erica Rhodes
These were the good old days. You know it.
Adam Carolla
All I did was watch commercials about travel from the hot box shitbox. I grew up in in North Hollywood. And no, nobody traveled in my family. No one had a credit card. No one went anywhere. We just sat there just like poor people. Just hot. Just sit and sweat in this box. But I would see commercials, and the commercials were these commercials for like TWA and all these airline. Continental Airlines. And a lot of them would have the pub upstairs on the 747. And people, they have a serving cart where they're pushing like roast beef through the thing. The stewardesses are hot. And I'm getting like a martini in a brandy snifter. And I'm getting some. I like mine extra rare, you know, like sitting back, slapping the hot stewardess on the ass. High five. With O.J. down at the airport, you know, And I was like, oh, my God, this travel. This travel.
Erica Rhodes
Yes. It looks so fancy now.
Adam Carolla
Fucking mashed in the center seat as Southwest flight. And I got some. He, she, tranny stewardess. Going, sir, we don't serve peanuts anymore. We have, we have pretzel sticks. And I'm like, could I get a Miller? Like sir, we don't serve alcohol. This is short hop. And I'm like, oh, fuck this life. All I did was sit around and go dream of this. One day I shall travel this, this international world of intrigue with all the beautiful people, people and the fine cutlery.
Erica Rhodes
Now it's awful.
Adam Carolla
Now here's your spork in your hummus box.
Erica Rhodes
Yeah, there was, I, I sat with a woman who hadn't traveled in a long time and she seemed shell shocked. She was like, she's like, there used to just be two seats in a row.
Adam Carolla
Morbidly obese black women beating the out of each other in the back of the plane. You know, it's awesome. Better Help. This podcast is sponsored in part by BetterHelp Help. I'm telling you, there's a lot of stress. A lot of people stressed out everywhere at the workplace. I don't know, I don't know what's going on. I used to work on a construction site. I mean it was tough, but we didn't really have stress. Now it's all stress. Workplace stress. Well, it's one of the top causes of declining mental health with 61% of global workers experiencing higher than normal levels of stress. Stress. A holiday is great, but it isn't a good long term solution to stress. Don't forget that therapy can help you navigate whatever challenges the workday or any day might bring you. Always been a big fan of therapy. You know, I mean, heck, I guess it's kind of the business I was in with Dr. Drew all those years. With over 30,000 therapists, BetterHelp is the world's largest online therapy platform. Platform. Having served over 5 million people globally. It's BetterHelp. Am I right, Dawson?
Jason Mayhem Miller
Visit betterhelp.com Corolla today to get 10 off your first month. That's BetterHelp. H E-L-P.com Corolla this summer, Pluto TV.
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Dawson
Well, I'm glad you guys brought up travel up.
Erica Rhodes
It's the worst.
Dawson
The next story is about a man convicted as opposing as a flight attendant to score over 120 free flights.
Adam Carolla
Oh, wow.
Dawson
Tyrone Alexander was convicted of wire fraud and Tyron secure areas of an airport under false pretenses. So this guy, what basically was doing was hacking the system. He posed as a flight attendant. He would get to the back room, use the right code to be able to hop on free flights, and flew 34 times on one airline claiming to be a flight attendant, falsifying employees with seven airlines and submitting 30 different badge numbers, prosecutors said in a press release. Yeah, yeah, he got away with it for a while.
Adam Carolla
Eventually they got suspicious when he wasn't being a douche to everyone on the flight. And they're like, what's up with the.
Erica Rhodes
He was actually serving them.
Adam Carolla
He was actually being polite.
Dawson
Well, there was one story of him out in Burbank. He actually got on a flight and got a first class ticket and bumped Adam Carolla to the back, making him sell his merch.
Adam Carolla
The screen says this is a key plot point to the movie Tommy Boy.
Dawson
Oh, it is. I didn't know that.
Adam Carolla
That's correct. They couldn't get on their flight to Chicago. They couldn't get on their flight to Chicago. So they posed as stewardess.
Dawson
He did an old Tommy Boy.
Adam Carolla
Old Tommy Boy. I forgot that part.
Erica Rhodes
Wasn't there a Leonardo DiCaprio movie where.
Dawson
He Catch Me if youf Can.
Erica Rhodes
Yeah, Catch Me if youf Can.
Dawson
He just pretended to be a captain pilot, right? Yeah. Go everywhere.
Erica Rhodes
Did you guys see the rehearsal with Nathan Fielder?
Adam Carolla
Yeah, yeah. No, no, the rehearsal. Well, he waited for the brilliant show.
Erica Rhodes
Just recently, this year.
Adam Carolla
Well, you say show or movie?
Erica Rhodes
Show.
Adam Carolla
It's a show. Okay. A series.
Erica Rhodes
Yeah, series with Nathan Fielder where he.
Adam Carolla
What's it on Max?
Erica Rhodes
Yeah, hbo.
Dawson
Yeah, he's brilliant. Like, he did a whole.
Erica Rhodes
He's pretty interesting.
Adam Carolla
Nathan Fielder, he had a theory, Nathan.
Erica Rhodes
For you, that a lot of crashes are caused because the co pilot and the pilot don't communicate. And so he went through this whole. But he got obsessed with it. So obsessed that he became a pilot on the show just to prove his point. And it's. I mean, it's pretty crazy.
Dawson
It's masterful.
Erica Rhodes
As you know, it's pretty intense.
Adam Carolla
Well, now, so. So it's a doc. Series, sort of.
Erica Rhodes
It's hard. It's like its own genre.
Dawson
Well, Nathan, for you is his original show. What he does. He does a kind of a bit of trolling where he like puts you in this situation where you have to figure it out. And every one of his bits have this similar through line where he's sort of doing Something. I don't know, not exactly above board, but.
Erica Rhodes
Well, his whole point is that you can rehearse life.
Dawson
Yes.
Erica Rhodes
So he puts people in situations where they can actually rehearse a real life situation. So then he takes it to the extreme where now it's pilots rehearsing. But he puts them through the gamut of different experiments to try to get them to communicate, including having them judge an American Idol type competition so they can get better at communicating with rejection and things like that. But he's trying to pass a bill basically to. To increase communication with pilots and co pilots.
Adam Carolla
Oh, really?
Erica Rhodes
Yeah, it's actually really interesting. I'd recommend it.
Dawson
Yeah, it's good.
Adam Carolla
I gotta see the trailer. Find the trailer.
Erica Rhodes
He becomes a pilot on the show.
Adam Carolla
I know, but he's not allowed to fly. He doesn't. He's not a commercial pilot.
Erica Rhodes
He becomes a commercial pilot so that he can fly all these actors one flight.
Adam Carolla
But not a commercial pilot.
Erica Rhodes
I think he becomes a commercial pilot.
Dawson
Not at all.
Erica Rhodes
He has to be a commercial pilot in order to fly over a certain number of people.
Adam Carolla
Oh, well, that's true.
Erica Rhodes
So I think he actually becomes a commercial pilot and he gets HBO to pay for the whole thing, which is also kind of funny. Yeah, he gets them to pay for his schooling.
Dawson
Way to work the system.
Erica Rhodes
And then he also kind of finds out he's autistic in the process. Aren't we all right. Because he has a lot of trouble learning, but he sticks to it.
Adam Carolla
Well, let's see if there's a trailer. I've never.
Erica Rhodes
I'm surprised you haven't heard of him.
Adam Carolla
Weird. I just watch a lot of studying commercial aviation disasters as a hobby and I started to notice a disturbing pattern in the causes of these crashes. Fifteen years ago you recommended role playing exercises. The FAA said no.
Dawson
For whatever reason, they're just not going there.
Adam Carolla
I do have some experience with creating elaborate robots role playing scenarios, and I do have money to put towards this. Yeah, I think you're onto something there. Let's work together to save some lives. Welcome to our stage.
Sammy the Bull Gravano
Oh, wow.
Adam Carolla
Have you ever acted before? No, I haven't. Would you be willing to dress as a pilot? Why not? It's hard for us to be the people we ideally want to be. And the social pressures are on everyone, including pilots. What do you fly over at JBL? 320? 321.
Dawson
Okay.
Adam Carolla
Old love's cool. If you can put the emotion into it to make. Make you feel, it's gonna change you. The last thing I Would want is anyone to feel unsafe.
Sammy the Bull Gravano
How could that happen?
Adam Carolla
In order to make change, it's gonna take something different. Yeah. It's bizarre.
Erica Rhodes
It's crazy. I mean, it's. That's why I'm like, it's its own genre.
Dawson
Pretty brilliant.
Erica Rhodes
Can't really figure out what it is. But he actually has a mission.
Dawson
It's like a prank show, but the prank is so huge and elaborate that it's not really a prank anymore.
Erica Rhodes
Right. It's actually like he buys into his own mission. Basically.
Adam Carolla
If I got a whole bunch of pilots together and we're gonna do some acting exercise, I would get that Volvo script and I would have sit alone in the cockpit. That's amazing. And I'd say, you're flying to your daughter's wedding.
Erica Rhodes
Yes.
Adam Carolla
And your wife is dead.
Dawson
Look all forlorn.
Adam Carolla
She died in a commercial airline accident.
Erica Rhodes
But you'd have to have them working with the co pilot on the audition. Like what we were doing. Like, get. Okay, now try to get him. Try to get a good performance out of him.
Adam Carolla
That would work.
Erica Rhodes
Yeah. That would be the community.
Adam Carolla
All right. Mayhem. You got one more?
Dawson
Well, I got one more. Yeah. There's a single dose of magic mushrooms. They say it provides five years of depression relief.
Adam Carolla
Really?
Sammy the Bull Gravano
Yeah.
Dawson
The research, a new studies say 67% of depressed patients still in remission long after treatment. But expert urge caution. Excuse me.
Adam Carolla
What's wrong with everyone? I don't get everyone. Everyone's got anxiety. Everyone's telling me.
Dawson
I'm gonna tell you. It's FOMO and weird stuff on the Internet. If you're constantly looking at that, you're your phone. Right. It hacks your dopamine.
Adam Carolla
Everyone's telling me how they feel all the time. And I'm like, why don't you go fucking do something? Stop.
Erica Rhodes
Do men tell you how they feel?
Adam Carolla
There's an alarming number of young men who tell you about their anxieties with everything. And I'm like, you're a dude. You're not supposed to do this. Go fucking do something. Go break a sweat. Go to Home Depot and go buy something and go bring it home and make it or something. Stop fucking sitting around around with thinking about all the shit you can't do or don't do or won't do.
Erica Rhodes
Yeah. It's the not doing. It's not acting on things. I think everyone's living a passive life. Probably because they're all living a life based on social media and things like that.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. I don't know what's going on. You gotta have a project. People don't get that problem.
Erica Rhodes
You need a purpose.
Adam Carolla
You need a purpose. Some kind of purpose. Yeah. And for me, it's helping others. Just kidding. I like building shit.
Erica Rhodes
You like cars?
Adam Carolla
I like cars.
Erica Rhodes
And driving cars and plumbing.
Adam Carolla
Oh, yeah. I like Pax. Yeah, Pax Volvos. No, you gotta have, like, interests.
Erica Rhodes
You need interests.
Adam Carolla
You gotta have. You have interests. And then you have to have a kind of a. I tell people, beginning, a middle and an end and a whatever. You know, the big whatever race is coming up middle of August. It's the historic race in Monterey. And look, I'm trying to get my car there and I want to race the car. It's in the back here. But you got to prep it before it goes there because you can't just take it and race it. You have to do all the flush all the fluids and do all this stuff. There's a bunch of prep and safety stuff. And I'm starting to think about it now, and I'm like, what kind of tires they're going to let us run this year? They're going to tell you what kind of tires the tires are on there are too old, you got to get new tires, blah, blah, blah. And I was just like. Just like thinking about it. And then I was just thinking about being in the car and being out on the track with 45 other cars and stuff. And I was like, I was thinking about the types of cars that are gonna be out there. And it's like, I wonder if I could beat some of those cars in this car or whatever. And I'm already there. I'm like, I need my equipment. I gotta get my stuff. I gotta get my gear.
Dawson
You gotta fantasize about the future or you got nothing about. Well, good things. Yeah. This, you know, study showed that the patients got.
Adam Carolla
Sorry.
Dawson
Experienced symptom relief. Yeah.
Adam Carolla
I'll tell you the problem with. I'll tell you what's going on.
Dawson
Major depressive disorders.
Adam Carolla
Too many people are into, like, other people and stuff. You know what I mean? I'm like, what's going on with P. Diddy? I'm like, I don't know. It doesn't got on.
Erica Rhodes
I said that earlier.
Adam Carolla
I know. I don't fucking have a project. You have a project. You gotta get a project going or you'll go insane. You could be making a documentary. Not on P. Diddy, but hopefully.
Erica Rhodes
Yeah. I'm not that interested in P. Diddy, for the record.
Dawson
Kinda am.
Erica Rhodes
I just thought it was interesting that he got off.
Adam Carolla
That's all I'm saying. Like, we're losing it, and dudes are losing it because dudes need projects more than women. Women historically, could read a romance novel or something and hang around or something. It was fine. They didn't go out of their fucking. Men need to be physically. Men are basically. They're like a Labrador or something. You gotta run those dogs, they gotta come back tired. You gotta take them out. You gotta run them around. They can't just fucking hang out.
Dawson
I fought a few men today before I came in. That's good.
Adam Carolla
You gotta run.
Erica Rhodes
But physicality's always good for depression. For women too.
Adam Carolla
Everyone needs it. We took the men, we brought them all indoors. We had them just fucking watch porn on their tablet. And they're fucking. And they're telling me all about their anxieties. And I'm like, I don't know what your anxieties. I don't know what that is. Just fucking go get busy. And then when I'm telling everyone to go fucking get busy, everyone is telling me, he doesn't have to do that. He doesn't have to go wash his own car. He doesn't have get the guy from TaskRabbit to come over and do that. And I'm like, do it for yourself. Do it for yourself. Do it for yourself.
Erica Rhodes
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
The amount of time people have been like, get them to bring the food. I. I go, no, go get your own food. Go get it. Go get. No, but they'll bring it. Get the TaskRabbit guy to pick up the food on the way to coming over. And it's like, hey, don't do it. I'm telling you. Get a fucking project. You will eat your own brain. Too many guys sitting inside. Too much air conditioning, too much phone. Too many thoughts, too many, too many. It's this narcissistic thing about what people are saying and whatever you need to be. I mean, you just had the great Brad Pitt. He did his F1 movie. The guy's been there, he's done that. And he was, like, sitting in that car. That's an experience I've never had in my life.
Erica Rhodes
What experience?
Adam Carolla
Him in the car. Him in the F.1 car.
Erica Rhodes
Oh. Oh, you mean not the guy in the commercial you're talking about?
Adam Carolla
Yeah, I'm talking about Brad Pitt starring in the Volvo commercial.
Erica Rhodes
Okay.
Adam Carolla
Sorry.
Erica Rhodes
I didn't know it was Brad Pitt for sure.
Adam Carolla
Brad Pitt made an.
Erica Rhodes
Didn't recognize him.
Adam Carolla
Well, he made an F1 movie. I figured it'd been A shown commercials. It's been around a little bit.
Erica Rhodes
Okay, okay.
Adam Carolla
All right.
Erica Rhodes
Well, even Brad Pitt's going on talk shows talking about his feelings now.
Adam Carolla
His feelings is when he was sitting in that F1 car, it was nothing. It's like nothing he's ever experienced. And he wasn't thinking about anything at that moment.
Erica Rhodes
Right.
Adam Carolla
And you need a little bit of that, A little bit of that. I'm not. It's not about me. I'm in this moment and this is what. What's happening.
Erica Rhodes
The argument for mushrooms, though, is that maybe it could take the place of a lot of drugs that prescription drugs. People are. Yeah, people are also over medicated away. They're all numbed out.
Adam Carolla
They don't even know where the fuck they are. Everyone's on. Knock it off with all the fucking medications. Knock it off with all your stomach. And I can't eat this. And here's how this makes everything is like, here's how this makes me feel. Here's how this makes my head feel. And this is how it makes my stomach. Stomach feel. Knock it off. You're all hypochondriacs. Go break a sweat.
Dawson
You ate mushrooms before.
Adam Carolla
I had magic mushrooms back in the day.
Erica Rhodes
That's what it was. What we're talking about.
Adam Carolla
I don't mean like a mushroom omelette, but what I mean is, is I mean, like mushrooms, you know, grew, grown in cow. You know, like a handful of like mushrooms.
Dawson
What do you mean? It's the same thing. I know, but this stuff is something.
Adam Carolla
What is it?
Dawson
Cultured? Homogenized.
Adam Carolla
Homogenized and powdered and whatever. It tastes good.
Erica Rhodes
They put it in little pellets. That's all.
Dawson
Yeah, they're talking about.
Erica Rhodes
They're chocolate.
Dawson
They grow them the same way I've.
Erica Rhodes
Done it with the chocolate. Like the microdosing with the little chocolate.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, I'm saying I had a handful of fucking. You had to shove peanut butter in them so you could. Oh.
Dawson
But they got the technology now he's.
Adam Carolla
Like, back him up.
Erica Rhodes
We had to grab our own mushrooms from the dirt.
Dawson
I ate mine straight out of a cow pie.
Erica Rhodes
Did it come in chocolate?
Adam Carolla
No, I was like, I got it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I mean. Well, all I'm saying is. I know you're talking about magic mushrooms. I'm just saying I physically had a bag of mushrooms. Not chocolate pellets or whatever, but same. You get to the same place and then what?
Dawson
You were happy for years after that. It's seems like.
Erica Rhodes
Did it do anything?
Dawson
Maybe it's time for a revamp.
Erica Rhodes
Did it do anything or. No.
Adam Carolla
One time I was high on mushrooms and you gotta worry about mixing your drugs.
Dawson
Oh, yeah.
Erica Rhodes
Yes.
Dawson
Don't worry. I know.
Adam Carolla
No, no, you're not. No, not you. Not you mixing your drugs. You mixing your drugs with the people you're taking drugs with and you. When. What drugs they're taking.
Dawson
Oh, yeah, that's true too.
Adam Carolla
So I was rolling along with my mushrooms and my buddies feeling pretty good about ourselves, and then my buddy and his girlfriend showed up all coked up.
Erica Rhodes
Oh, no, you can't mix those two.
Adam Carolla
And now I got the coked up crew and the groovy crew. No. And then the coked up crew is like, all coked up and we're all grooving out. And then somebody point.
Erica Rhodes
That's bad.
Adam Carolla
I'm in the bathroom with the coked up girlfriend who needed to talk to me.
Erica Rhodes
Why did you go like this?
Adam Carolla
She needed to talk to me.
Erica Rhodes
It's like boobs.
Dawson
She needed to talk to me.
Adam Carolla
No, I said me.
Erica Rhodes
No, I know. It just looks like she.
Adam Carolla
It's a podcast, so she needed to talk to me.
Erica Rhodes
Yes.
Adam Carolla
About my feelings toward her because she knew I didn't like her because she was taking time away from my friend. And I was like, I don't care. I'm having a good time. And she's like, we gotta talk. And. And she's all high on coke. And then my friend who's all high on coke is banging on the door like, what's going on in there? And she's like, shut up. I'm talking. I'm like, just please chill out. We're good. We're good. We're always good. All's good. You know, I know he's your friend, and I know. I mean, it's alive. And it taken you away.
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Adam Carolla
Because I'm spending time with him and not with. He's like, banging on the door. What's going on? I'm like, bob, just. I'm trying to be high on mushrooms here, people. You're high on coke. Go somewhere else with your coke high. And we're gonna go back to Groovyville.
Erica Rhodes
Yeah, you can't mix those two.
Dawson
That was a good trip overall then.
Erica Rhodes
Yeah, overall sounds like it was tainted.
Adam Carolla
I saw a couple commercials. I saw a Lee Press on nail commercial where they were putting stick on Lee nails on their fingers, you know, And I was looking at it. I was like, in our society, we value a kind of a bloody claw. Look on a woman. It's kind of a weird societal thing. I don't know why. Having long bloody nails. Why is that attractive to the males?
Dawson
God bless America.
Adam Carolla
So what kind of society have we crossed crafted here that this is somehow important or attractive? They're blood red. Like they clawed somebody. Like, why is that attractive? And then the next commercial that came on was a monster truck commercial. He was coming to the coliseum or whatever, and they're showing monster trucks. And they were mashing all the small cars, like running over them. And I was like, we like bloody claws and giant trucks mashing little trucks.
Erica Rhodes
Violence.
Adam Carolla
We like to smash the little stuff. And I was like all high going. We're kind of a fucked up society.
Dawson
I love our society.
Adam Carolla
This is our thing. Oh, we press on that.
Erica Rhodes
Oh, my gosh. Those are so old.
Adam Carolla
They're so old. And I know this commercial, it's a woman. They're getting ready to go out. She breaks a nail and she goes, oh, why tonight? And then the husband comes in and goes, what happened? And she's like, I broke a nail. And then she goes, oh. And then she uses her Lee press on. It wasn't press on. It was her Lee nail. She fixed it.
Erica Rhodes
Oh, my gosh.
Adam Carolla
And then the husband comes back and she shows him and he goes, you grew a new nail. And she goes, almost. And they leave to go have a good time. That is true.
Erica Rhodes
That is so dumb.
Adam Carolla
I know. But I thought that's what marriage was gonna be like. I thought travel was gonna be good and marriage was gonna be good. I didn't know the reality.
Erica Rhodes
Right. You base life too much on commercials.
Adam Carolla
Too much. Too much. 70s TV did in their department. All right, let's bring it home. Mayhem. I've heard enough. All right, great.
Dawson
I'm done talking.
Adam Carolla
All right. I'm going to be in Irvine coming up. That's going to be. Let's see. Is that this Thursday? Yeah. Doing a live podcast. Is that this Thursday? I think it is. With Jay Moore. Yeah. Then Covina touches. That'll be Friday and Saturday, that'll be the 11th and the 12th. And that is two shows. And then Zany's in Illinois, Rosemont 16th doing a live show. There you go. I'm curl.com for all the live shows. And you can go to ericarodescomedy.com for all her live shows as well. Mayhem, what do you got?
Dawson
Got mayhemnow.com. it's crappy website. It looks like it was made on MySpace. Check it out now.
Adam Carolla
So till next time. And Mayhem and Erica Rhodes saying mahalo.
Jason Mayhem Miller
You can leave us a voicemail at 888-634-1744 and get tickets to see Adam Corolla at AdamCorola.com.
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Adam Carolla Show: California Screamin’ with Erica Rhodes + Robots Are Finally Taking Over!
Release Date: July 7, 2025
In this vibrant and engaging episode of The Adam Carolla Show, host Adam Carolla welcomes the talented and humorous comedian Erica Rhodes to discuss a myriad of topics ranging from California's unique cultural nuances to the burgeoning role of robots in today's workforce. The episode seamlessly blends comedic banter with insightful commentary, offering listeners both laughter and thoughtful perspectives.
Fireworks on California Beaches
The episode kicks off with Adam and Erica delving into the chaos of 4th of July celebrations in California, particularly focusing on the rampant use of fireworks in certain neighborhoods. Adam humorously describes a hypothetical scenario where he lights a cigarette on Malibu beach, only to be confronted about secondhand smoke:
"[05:07] Adam Carolla: ...I'm a taxpayer. Then I would be arrested. That's California."
They highlight the disparities in how fireworks are regulated, noting that while beachside displays are frowned upon, illegal fireworks runs rampant in less affluent areas. Erica points out the prevalence of fireworks in downtown areas during the holiday:
"[05:07] Erica Rhodes: Downtown people are setting off fireworks downtown during July 4th."
Cultural and Racial Undertones
The conversation takes a deeper turn as Adam discusses the racial and cultural implications of these fireworks displays, suggesting that areas with higher immigrant populations, particularly from Mexico, see more illegal fireworks use. He controversially remarks:
"[07:20] Adam Carolla: ...that's racist shit. You don't think white people shoot off fireworks? Not here."
This sparks a discussion about neighborhood demographics, the presence of various ethnic groups in affluent areas like Topanga, and their interactions with law enforcement agencies like ICE.
Tribute to a Hollywood Icon
Midway through the episode, Adam shares the news of actor Michael Madsen's passing, reminiscing about their interactions and highlighting Madsen's memorable roles in films such as Reservoir Dogs and The Hateful Eight:
"[20:40] Adam Carolla: ...Michael's a really cool dude. Great in the movies for sure, and great in all the Quentin Tarantino movies and beyond."
Adam recounts a unique encounter where Madsen performed a Nick Nolte impersonation, adding a personal touch to the tribute.
The Endless Traffic Nightmare
A significant portion of the discussion centers around the infamous traffic problems in Los Angeles. Adam vents his frustration over the inefficiency of drivers and the lack of effective solutions from city officials:
"[38:52] Adam Carolla: ...Let's move it along. Let's get it going. Use your turn signal and fucking turn honk for right."
He criticizes the city's infrastructure and the mayor's lack of focus on resolving traffic issues, lamenting the disproportionate impact on lower-income residents who endure lengthy commutes due to unaffordable housing near workplaces.
Policy and Public Perception
The conversation touches on political responses to traffic, notably mocking Mayor Gavin Newsom's inability to address the problem effectively:
"[50:30] Adam Carolla: ...He's talking about feelings and vibes... They never know what he's talking about doing."
Adam expresses skepticism about political figures who prioritize social issues over tangible solutions for traffic congestion.
Amazon’s Automation Surge
Transitioning to technological advancements, Dawson introduces a news segment about Amazon's shift towards using more robots than humans in their warehouses:
"[90:48] Dawson: Amazon will soon use more robots in its warehouses than human employees... with more than 1 million machines deployed across the facility."
Adam humorously critiques the overreliance on automation, drawing parallels between robots and animals used for labor:
"[91:38] Adam Carolla: Everything is a robot... I guarantee they'll be better than us."
Impact on Employment and Efficiency
The hosts discuss the broader implications of automation, including job displacement and increased efficiency. They humorously debate whether robots will outpace human errors:
"[97:44] Adam Carolla: ...you really want an automated truck? ...I trust a robot. I trust a robot."
Erica raises a counterpoint about humans becoming more reliant on technology, potentially diminishing critical skills:
"[98:51] Erica Rhodes: ...people are becoming more like robots because we're relying so much on phones and other things."
Critiquing Contemporary Advertising
Adam and his guests engage in a satirical analysis of modern car commercials, specifically targeting Jaguar, Volkswagen, and Volvo's advertising strategies. They mock the departure from traditional car-focused ads to abstract, emotion-driven narratives:
"[70:52] Adam Carolla: They don't even show the car... They're trying to appeal to more people."
Through humorous reenactments, they highlight the disconnect between the advertised message and the actual product, emphasizing a loss of authenticity in advertising.
Building Connections Through Comedy
Towards the end of the episode, Erica shares personal stories about her experiences dating and performing stand-up comedy, while Adam reflects on his early days listening to radio shows for company during solitary jobs:
"[67:08] Adam Carolla: ...listening to Loveline... kept me sane..."
They underscore the importance of community and personal connections, with Erica appreciating the support from podcast fans attending her live shows.
Adam wraps up the episode by promoting upcoming live shows in Irvine, Covina, and Illinois, encouraging listeners to engage with the community and support the guests featured on the show.
On Fireworks and Secondhand Smoke:
"[05:07] Adam Carolla: ...I'm a taxpayer. Then I would be arrested. That's California."
On Racial Implications:
"[07:20] Adam Carolla: ...that's racist shit. You don't think white people shoot off fireworks? Not here."
Tribute to Michael Madsen:
"[20:40] Adam Carolla: ...Michael's a really cool dude. Great in the movies for sure..."
On Traffic Frustrations:
"[38:52] Adam Carolla: ...Let's move it along. Let's get it going. Use your turn signal and fucking turn honk for right."
On Automation:
"[91:38] Adam Carolla: Everything is a robot... I guarantee they'll be better than us."
Cultural Sensitivities: The episode sheds light on how cultural and racial dynamics influence local practices and interactions with authorities, particularly in diverse urban settings like Los Angeles.
Technological Impact: A critical look at automation reveals both optimism for increased efficiency and concerns over job displacement, reflecting broader societal debates.
Media Critique: Adam and his guests provide a humorous yet poignant critique of modern advertising, highlighting the shift towards emotional storytelling at the expense of product focus.
Community and Connection: Personal anecdotes emphasize the importance of community support and genuine connections in navigating life's challenges.
This episode of The Adam Carolla Show masterfully blends humor with critical commentary, addressing pressing issues such as cultural dynamics, technological advancements, and societal behaviors. Through engaging conversations with Erica Rhodes and insightful interjections from co-hosts, Adam Carolla delivers a multifaceted episode that entertains while provoking thoughtful reflection.