Carolyn Hennesy + Robin Antin (Carolla Classics)

Summary

Adam Carolla Show: Carolyn Hennesy & Robin Antin Episode Summary

Release Date: December 14, 2024

In this episode of "The Adam Carolla Show," Carolyn Hennesy and Robin Antin join host Adam Carolla for a lively discussion filled with insightful debates, personal anecdotes, and thought-provoking topics. The episode delves into the world of documentary filmmaking, animal rights, and touches upon recent events, all delivered with the show's signature humor and candidness.

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Documentary Filmmaking: Balancing Perspectives

Carolyn Hennesy and Brian Bishop engage in a robust debate about the nature of documentaries, using the controversial film Blackfish as a focal point.

• Cardinality of Perspectives: Carolyn advocates for documentaries presenting multiple sides to provide a balanced view. She states, "Documentaries are a whole different animal than a fictionalized film. The problem, and it's not naive at all to think that a documentary is going to show both sides of an issue. That is the very definition of a documentary" (15:11).

• Point of View vs. Neutrality: Brian, on the other hand, argues that documentaries often have an inherent bias, stating, "I think your responsibility as a filmmaker is to tell the best story you can. Now the idea that a documentary should be even-handed and tell both sides is frankly, it's naive” (15:00).

• Impact on Public Perception: The discussion highlights how documentaries like Blackfish influence public opinion and ignites debates on ethical treatment of animals versus pressing human issues. Carolyn counters, "We should focus on human beings, and we'll work our way over to orcas" (06:05), emphasizing the need to prioritize human concerns without dismissing animal welfare.

Animal Rights vs. Human Suffering

The conversation transitions to the broader implications of animal-focused activism versus human-centric challenges.

• Empathy Allocation: Brian reflects on societal empathy distribution, noting, "I have the capacity to be into the whale and the human being, but I'd like it done sort of” (02:29), questioning why certain animal tragedies receive disproportionate emotional responses compared to human crises.

• Environmental Concerns: Carolyn underscores the environmental degradation affecting marine life, asserting, "We've polluted their living spaces. And this is what's gonna be compromised” (23:26), linking environmental neglect directly to the plight of animals like orcas.

Critique of Blackfish and Media Bias

Carolyn provides a nuanced critique of Blackfish, highlighting its biased portrayal and omission of pivotal testimonies.

• Selective Narration: Carolyn points out that the documentary was biased, stating, "The makers of Blackfish wanted to steer it in a particular direction to really decry SeaWorld and decry holding marine mammals in captivity and training them for public benefit and for profit" (07:45).

• Absence of Trainer Perspectives: She laments the absence of interviews with SeaWorld trainers, wondering, "Why wouldn't Dawn's family come on and speak with them?” (07:06), suggesting that a more balanced approach could have provided a fuller picture.

Recent Events: The LAX Shooting

The episode also touches upon the tragic shooting incident at Los Angeles International Airport (LAX), analyzing the broader implications on security measures.

• Incident Overview: Brian describes the event, noting, "The shooter was a 23-year-old by the name of Paul Sancia. He was not a ticketed passenger...” (26:07), highlighting the randomness and premeditated nature of the attack.

• Security Flaws: The hosts critique existing security protocols, debating the feasibility of enhancing safety without causing excessive inconvenience. Brian muses, "We need to assign a guy with an earpiece and a blazer... But how does this happen?” (28:59).

• Systemic Challenges: Carolyn emphasizes systemic issues, stating, "They are not interviewed, and they have a lot of trainers who, for one reason or another, have left SeaWorld.” (08:25), tying it back to discussions on institutional biases and protective measures.

Personal Reflections and Miscellaneous Topics

Throughout the episode, the hosts share personal stories and opinions on various subjects, maintaining an engaging and humorous tone.

• Documentary Creation: Brian discusses his own experiences in documentary making, reflecting on narrative choices and ethical responsibilities. He shares a hypothetical scenario involving Paul Newman’s racing partner, illustrating the complexities in storytelling (09:35).

• Parenting and Mental Health: The conversation briefly veers into the importance of parental involvement and mental health awareness to prevent tragedies, underscoring the societal need for better support systems.

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Notable Quotes

• Carolyn Hennesy: "If we didn't compartmentalize and prioritize where we're going to put all of our energies, we'd simply be absolutely right in the fetal position, just bawling our eyes out.” (06:23)

• Brian Bishop: "We can focus on it and channel into it. And yes, and so there's that part where you think.” (05:38)

• Def Frat Guy: "There's always someone ready to replace you." (02:18)

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Conclusion

This episode of "The Adam Carolla Show" offers a deep dive into the ethics of documentary filmmaking, the balance between animal and human rights, and critiques of media portrayals in shaping public opinion. Amidst these heavy topics, the hosts infuse humor and personal insights, making complex discussions accessible and engaging for listeners. Whether debating the merits of Blackfish or dissecting the aftermath of the LAX shooting, Carolyn Hennesy, Robin Antin, and the team provide a multifaceted perspective on pressing societal issues.

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Timestamp References:

• 02:11 to 02:22 – Discussion on animal astrologers and career stability.
• 05:01 to 06:26 – Balancing empathy between animal and human issues.
• 07:00 to 07:10 – Critique of Blackfish's bias.
• 15:00 to 15:11 – Debate on documentary balance.
• 23:26 to 24:49 – Environmental impact on marine life.
• 26:07 to 28:59 – Analysis of LAX shooting and security measures.
• 09:35 to 09:54 – Brian’s documentary storytelling example.
• 06:23 to 06:27 – Carolyn on emotional compartmentalization.
• 05:38 to 05:49 – Focus and empathy channeling.

Note: Timestamps are approximate and correspond to the transcript segments.

Transcript

[Adam Carolla]

Welcome to Corolla Classics. I'm your host, superfan Giovanni. This is the podcast, we play the best moments, highlights and fans selected clips from all 15 years of the Adam Corolla show. We have a companion podcast titled Crolla Classics for which you can find the archive available ad free through Adam Corolla's substack along with a brand new show, Beat it Out featuring Adam and Jay Moore. If you request a clip Please email us classics.com now onto the clips. Come up first day we have Adam Carlo Show 1199 Part 2. Carolyn Hennessy in studio, Allison Rose and Brian Bishop. Check it out.

[Brian Bishop]

Listen, I just want to say thank you so much. That Mangria is wonderful. Me and my girlfriend just polished off a bottle and it was the first time in our four year relationship that she allowed me to drop a digit on her poop appro button. So thank you very much.

[Allison Rosen]

You can leave us a message at 888-634-1744.

[Brian Bishop]

Thank you. That's what I was thinking about when I decide my signature cocktail, Mangria. Carolyn Hennessy, good to see you.

[Carolyn Hennessy]

Nice to see you, my friend.

[Brian Bishop]

General Hospital is the name of the show 2pm on ABC and also the radio show Animal Magnetism. Let's talk about that. Sunday's 10:00am Channel One on Universal Broadcast Network [e-mail] that's right, that's right.

[Carolyn Hennessy]

We just had a show today.

[Brian Bishop]

What'd you talk about today?

[Carolyn Hennessy]

We had an animal astrologer and we had. Yep, yeah. Not a psychic, not a whisperer, but an animal astrologer who actually was sort of right on the money about a lot of things. And we had a young girl who is in the magnet school for North Hollywood High, but she goes to the, she's a senior, but she goes to the. And learns at the zoo every day.

[Brian Bishop]

I went to North Holly.

[Carolyn Hennessy]

Yeah. Did you go to the zoo program?

[Brian Bishop]

Well, here's what I found out. Well, my school was the zoo program and also I find when animal astrologers are off the money, they're out of the, they're out of a gig pretty fucking quick.

[Carolyn Hennessy]

The thing is, I think she's the only one. She's the only one I've ever heard of.

[Brian Bishop]

They're like place kickers in the NFL. You miss four in a row, you're out of the league, baby.

[Def Frat Guy]

There's always someone ready to replace you.

[Brian Bishop]

There's always some.

[Carolyn Hennessy]

Actually, I don't think so.

[Brian Bishop]

Animal astrologer, that's. This is. My grandpa used to say breathing down your neck. That's right. Nipping at your animal hooves.

[Carolyn Hennessy]

This was a very light show today, but we've got some heavy, heavy hitters on the show. We've got, you know, people from the Georgia Aquarium. We've got people from zoos all over the world.

[Brian Bishop]

I was watching that. Was it blackfish? Yes. Oh, man. Tilikum, I must say that the way I'm wired as I watch those kinds of exposes on what they do to animals, and I have two ways of thinking. One is, in the time that my heart went out for this whale, from the 70s, 1,000 people were ethnically cleansed in Darfur. So I never want to be one of these people that gets more into the whale than I am into the human being. I would like to be into the whale and the human being, but I'd like it done sort of. I would like. I don't want to be one of these people that's just more into miniature horses than I am miniature people. And I feel like we have the capacity to do that and the propensity to do that where people watch that thing about the baby whale, like, oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God. And then you go, a million people killed in Darfur. And you go, ah, right.

[Carolyn Hennessy]

Already people can become very radicalized about animals and what you gotta understand and. And without going into great detail, there is a whole other side to blackfish.

[Brian Bishop]

Ooh, yeah. What's the other side?

[Carolyn Hennessy]

It does not. This film.

[Brian Bishop]

Chilean sea bass.

[Carolyn Hennessy]

Let's hear it.

[Brian Bishop]

It's tilapia Capers. It's tilapia. Well, so I watch it, and there's a part of me that just goes, wow, am I depressed? And then I think to myself, I know this goes on all the time, and historically has gone on all the time where you've killed some beast in order to make money off it or eat it or do what have you with it, you know, I mean, that's all our civilization has been, was get baby rhino away from mama rhino and get the tusk from mama rhino and orphan baby rhino. And it's like it never ends. So there's this part where as a human being, you're going, oh, my God, I can't believe we did this. And then you realize, this has happened 1 billion times in the last thousand years.

[Carolyn Hennessy]

Let's forget most of the world. In much of the world, human life is so negligible. It's not even. It's not. It's worth nothing. So why on earth, you know, should they care about their animals. And that's kind of what my radio show is about.

[Brian Bishop]

I think what we do is we have a certain amount of empathy that's stored up in us that if we really felt what is going on globally with other human beings, we would never stop crying.

[Def Frat Guy]

That's what I wanted to say. I feel like these movies give us a focus point to feel some of that suffering. It's kind of all the same. Like, I remember. Remember Newt, the polar bear?

[Brian Bishop]

Yes.

[Def Frat Guy]

When Newt died, I felt really upset, and the tsunami had just happened, and I was like, how is Newt calling out more emotion in me than the tsunami? It's all the same. It's just. It's something manageable.

[Brian Bishop]

We can focus on it and channel into it. And. Yes, and so there's that part where you think. But this goes with many topics, some political, some not. Where you go, look, what are we really talking about here? Like, let's not all go into the fetal position from an orca. That was around 30 years ago. Like, I feel it. But let's focus on human beings, and we'll work our way over to orcas.

[Carolyn Hennessy]

If we didn't compartmentalize and prioritize where we're going to put all of our energies, we'd simply be absolutely right in the fetal position, just bawling our eyes out or. And, you know, three ways to really look at everything. You can turn your back on it, you can. You can sob into your pillow, or you can get galvanized. It's as simple as that.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Carolyn Hennessy]

You know, and it's just choosing what you're going to get galvanized about.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Carolyn Hennessy]

What you're.

[Brian Bishop]

I prefer being bonderized. It's another waterproofing. But either way, I understand. I like the galvanized golden showerized. I showerized. I bonderized. Sure. So what would you say? Like, what would you. How would you approach the blackfish?

[Carolyn Hennessy]

I happen to know the trainers, the individuals who oversaw the training program. This was on cnn. It was supposed to be a documentary, but it was very extremely biased.

[Brian Bishop]

It was. Yeah.

[Carolyn Hennessy]

Oh, yeah, absolutely.

[Adam Carolla]

I saw it in theaters. It was an actual documentary.

[Brian Bishop]

Right.

[Carolyn Hennessy]

But it was also sponsored, I think, believe it or not, by cnn. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, yeah, yeah. There was cnn.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Def Frat Guy]

Yes. Yeah.

[Carolyn Hennessy]

Which is supposed to be a news organization, which is supposed to have really no bias. What does?

[Brian Bishop]

Well, every. I'm working on a documentary myself on Paul Newman as we speak.

[Carolyn Hennessy]

I know I was sitting in some of your cars out there.

[Brian Bishop]

You realize that when you're doing something unfortunately, you can't just go, how did it go? You have to, pardon the pun, steer it. I'm doing a driving documentary. But you have to kind of steer it one direction or another. And even documentaries, which we look at is just surveillance cameras of life, you go, no, no, no. Those are crafted and those are steered.

[Carolyn Hennessy]

The makers of Blackfish wanted to steer it in a particular direction to really decry SeaWorld and decrypt holding marine mammals in captivity and training them for public benefit and for profit. There is another side to this. They did not. I don't believe that Dawn's family would come on and speak with them because.

[Brian Bishop]

Who's Don?

[Carolyn Hennessy]

The trainer who was killed?

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Carolyn Hennessy]

I don't. They aren't. They are not interviewed, and they have a lot of trainers who, for one reason or another, have left SeaWorld. And so perhaps, you know, there are chips on shoulders and they hold a grudge and so on and so forth.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, I don't, you know, like I said, and maybe it's just a new world we're living in. Maybe it was always this way and we never knew it. Like, maybe it was. I don't know, it feels like it's more. Well, there's CNN over there and there's FOX over there, and there's your. There's supposed to be news organizations, but they're going to give you their stories the way they want you to ingest their stories. And as a kid growing up, there was just TV and news. Like, whatever the news was, was the news. Now I feel like, well, there's this version and then there's that version. And you think, well, this is a news organization. What are they giving you their version for? I do understand in the realm of making documentaries, unfortunately, you're sort of. You're making a movie. I mean, when you're making a documentary, you're making a movie, you want to tell a story. And when you do movies, whether it's a, you know, if you're doing a Western, it can't be like, well, the Dalton boys are coming to town at First Sun. But one of the Dalton boys is a pretty decent guy. Like, he's not a bad. Kurt Dalton.

[Adam Carolla]

Left to his own devices, it's not a bad guy. Kurt's a cool dude.

[Brian Bishop]

He said, all right, dude.

[Adam Carolla]

One on one, you have a couple.

[Brian Bishop]

Of, you know, and if he gets drunk, he's kind of a pain in the ass.

[Carolyn Hennessy]

But don't you think a documentary should. Should, you know, by its very nature, try and be balanced? Try and Present both sides.

[Brian Bishop]

You know, I'll give you. I'll give you an example, and you guys tell me what. What you think, and then we can answer that. So you try to make this documentary. And the impetus of the documentary is, oh, there's some injustice here, and I need to go do it. And the problem is when there's some gray area on your injustice, then it fucks up the story, the arc of your documentary. But I'll give you guys something, and you guys tell me how you would do this. I'm just being honest. I'm putting it on the air. I'm working on this Newman doc. And Paul Newman's driving partner, teammate, and one of his best friends was a guy named Jim Fitzgerald. And Jim Fitzgerald was a couple years older than Newman, and they called him the Gerrital Gang because they're these older guys who both drove for Nissan and they won a lot of races and they were great buddies and everything was great. And Fitzies, they called Fitzgerald, was a Southern old gentleman, and he was the track instructor at Rhode Atlanta, and they were great buddies and everything. And then he died. And he died at St. Petersburg on the track racing with Newman. And Newman was in the lead, and Fitzy was driving another team car, and Fitzie was behind him. And Fitz hit a barrier and he died in the car. And then Newman pulled off because he couldn't continue anymore. He was so emotionally distraught. That's the story. And there's pictures of the car just balled up and destroyed, and he hit the barrier at 150 miles an hour and died instantly, blah, blah, blah. But there's also the story that he may have died having a heart attack while he was driving the car. So instead of basically dying racing the car, he died in the car from a heart attack and then hit the barrier and then was dead when he hit the barrier, or almost. That's why he hit the barrier. So in terms of storytelling, it's better to say because it's this fast, dangerous sport, that his partner and his best friend died on the track with him driving the car versus had a heart attack in the car. Now, it's true that he may have died.

[Def Frat Guy]

You're a Geritol gang, though.

[Brian Bishop]

Yes, it's true. He may have had a heart attack driving the car. He may not have had a heart attack. They think he had a heart attack and then hit the wall. I said from a storytelling standpoint, it's better if he just hit the wall because Newman was in great shape and Newman could just hit the Wall.

[Carolyn Hennessy]

But they don't know for sure.

[Brian Bishop]

They don't.

[Carolyn Hennessy]

Well, then go with the fiction. I mean, then go with the great story. If you don't have the facts, then go. I mean for sure. Then go with your gut.

[Brian Bishop]

My point is it's a documentary that the people that were there and who were in the know think he had a heart attack.

[Carolyn Hennessy]

Can they prove it?

[Def Frat Guy]

But I feel like it's dramatic. I know what you're saying, but it.

[Brian Bishop]

Makes a better story that he just hit the wall and died doing what Newman is doing than had a heart attack in the car. That's my whole point.

[Carolyn Hennessy]

It also makes a better story that he does take that out doing what he loved. I mean, you know, he went to the wall.

[Brian Bishop]

You could have a heart attack with a whore though.

[Carolyn Hennessy]

Sure.

[Brian Bishop]

After my grandfather went. His father before. So my thing is I'm making a documentary right now and I'm trying to figure out how much of the story do you tell? What do you leave out? How much of it do you craft? You don't lie, you don't fabricate things. But how much of it do you omit?

[Def Frat Guy]

If I were a fan of this, which I will be, I would want to know. I think it's interesting that there's some debate about how he actually died. And I feel I would. If you can and you don't think it sacrifices that much of the drama, I would get that in there.

[Brian Bishop]

But if you're trying to ratchet up the danger factor for Paul Newman, and Paul Newman's in fantastic shape for a 60 year old and this guy isn't, then the heart attack, which could happen to my dad while he was on a hammock.

[Adam Carolla]

It's less of a likely takes away.

[Brian Bishop]

From the danger of the endeavor that he's involved with where everyone is saying, don't do it. Don't you know the film producers and the wife saying don't do it. And then you go, oh, the guy died on a track and that's his driving partner. And you go, holy shit. And then you go, oh, he had a heart attack and a lot of six year old.

[Carolyn Hennessy]

But see, I don't think it makes a difference for Paul Newman because Paul Newman had no idea what was going on behind it.

[Brian Bishop]

But the point is, when you're making a documentary, how much of your flavor? You know, there's a lot of room. All you have to do is omit things. You don't have to lie, you don't have to make stuff up, just keep it out, just keep it out of the story.

[Adam Carolla]

I think your responsibility as a filmmaker is to tell the best story you can. Now the idea that a documentary should be even handed and tell both sides is frankly, it's naive. No one makes a documentary saying I'm going to expose the evils and the goods of this corporation. No one makes a documentary to show their point of view or make a movie to show their point of view. Documentaries these days are as dramatic as any, you know, fiction story.

[Carolyn Hennessy]

Documentaries are a whole different animal than a fictionalized film. The problem, and it's not naive at all to think that a documentary is going to show both sides of an issue. That is the very definition of a documentary.

[Adam Carolla]

But here's documentaries that show the other side. But the idea that one documentary.

[Brian Bishop]

But here's the problem then.

[Carolyn Hennessy]

If it's about an incident where a woman was killed by a giant orca, I think both sides need to be shown it was a medium sized orca because what they're trying to do with it is basically decry SeaWorld shut down marine aquaria all over the world and we need aquaria. We need SeaWorld.

[Brian Bishop]

I like, hold on a second, Carolyn. I like this. And can I say this to Cramp on Brian's point?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, go ahead, buddy.

[Brian Bishop]

The problem with documentaries is we sort of approach them a certain way. Like it's like as a viewer. As a viewer.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, you're making a documentary.

[Brian Bishop]

No, what I'm saying, here's what I'm saying. It's sort of like a 911 call when NBC or what have you sort of edited the 911 call that Zimmerman made saying it was a black guy, but it was edited a certain way to make it seem like they edited.

[Def Frat Guy]

Out the cuz 911 asked what his race was and they edited out that question.

[Brian Bishop]

Exactly right. So did he say he's a black guy? Yes. Was it just a 911 call? Yes. Did you edit it a certain way? Yes. And then that changed our point of view on what maybe the truth was.

[Adam Carolla]

That's a news agency though, I think it talked about.

[Brian Bishop]

No, I agree, I agree.

[Carolyn Hennessy]

It doesn't complicate it at all. It makes them, they should follow stricter guidelines that they have set up for themselves.

[Brian Bishop]

This is the world we've created. So the news goes, well, if we have the 911 operator asking what his color is or nationality or ethnicity is, it's all right. But it's much better if he says a black guy. But someone goes, yeah, but we have the Nine, one. Okay, edit that out. And this is going to really ratchet this up to make it a more compelling story. So the news has sort of taken that filmmaking, you know, they've turned into Ron Howard.

[Carolyn Hennessy]

But wait a minute, when you say more compelling story, they edited out the fact that he was asked what the race of his assailant was. So ratcheting it up. For whose benefit? Well, for their benefit, for our benefit. To fan the flames of what, racial tension?

[Brian Bishop]

Well, to make it a story, I mean, to make it more than a local story, to make it a national story.

[Def Frat Guy]

To just hold viewers attention.

[Brian Bishop]

Just to get eyeballs. Yeah, I mean they do it all the time.

[Carolyn Hennessy]

And so by skewing it towards racism.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, sure. Well, I don't agree with it, but that's the business they're in. They're in the business of getting eyes and ears on their program.

[Adam Carolla]

CNN called it Black Fish.

[Brian Bishop]

Okay, that's a good point. Good point.

[Adam Carolla]

And black and white fish fanning the.

[Carolyn Hennessy]

Flames of racism against black whales.

[Brian Bishop]

So the, you know, maybe blackfish is doing that. You know, again, you make a documentary, you have a point of view. You make so called reality shows. They're not reality shows anymore.

[Carolyn Hennessy]

But then someone like me who, I mean, I can come on and say there is another side.

[Brian Bishop]

I want to hear the part where you defend SeaWorld.

[Def Frat Guy]

I like this.

[Carolyn Hennessy]

Well, you know, you talk about animals. The fact that we've been slaughtering animals for centuries. Not necessarily. It's only been, you know, if I could, if I could take four years. Yeah, right. If I could take. If it were 500 years ago and there were still wide open spaces and there were, you know, I mean, things could run free the way they cannot now. And we could change the course of, you know, the evolution of human population. We have been basically decimating, for instance, with aquarium's aquaria. We've been decimating the five mile, the two to five mile strip of ocean that surrounds every bit of land on this planet. And that's where 95% of the marine life live.

[Brian Bishop]

So we've been overfishing, Right, exactly.

[Carolyn Hennessy]

Because I. Well, we have also been dumping our human waste into it containers. You name it, we've been polluting it.

[Brian Bishop]

And so like that movie.

[Carolyn Hennessy]

Exactly.

[Brian Bishop]

Redford hit that container, right?

[Adam Carolla]

That's right. It's like.

[Carolyn Hennessy]

All right, because I asked, I asked Billy Hurley of the Georgia Aquarium, which is the largest aquarium in the world, I said, why do we need to conserve and preserve? Why do we need the Georgia Aquarium? Why do we need anything like that. And he said, you know, there's thousands of miles of ocean. He goes, no, no, no. 95% live where we have polluted. So we need to conserve and preserve these species. And also they all.

[Brian Bishop]

They live within the coastline.

[Carolyn Hennessy]

Exactly, exactly. And they are now becoming the best ambassadors for themselves. Fifty years ago, we didn't care about dolphins being harvested. We just wanted our tuna. We just wanted our tuna. Now, because of dolphin shows and people have gotten up close and personal to these beautiful animals. Now we care about them, and now we want to save them.

[Brian Bishop]

Look, I agree with you in that there's this sense and we have to kind of figure it out. Where you go, like, every creature is God's creature and they're all majestic and they're all just as important as another. And I've said on this show a million times, look, I'd give up one rhino to save 100 rhinos. And then other people would go, but what about the majestic. That one rhino and that rhino's family and that rhino's classmates and things like that, you know? And I go, I don't care. I'd give up the one to save. To save the hundred. And it does suck to hear about Shamu and the fin folded over and all that kind of stuff. And it's depressing as shit. On the other hand, if it raises awareness of the millions of people that come through the park, let's just say they go, okay, that's now majestic creature. And a young Hayden Panettiere comes through there at 8 years old and falls in love with Shamu and says, I will dedicate my life to saving this majestic creature. Well, then maybe it's worth it.

[Carolyn Hennessy]

Listen, you don't know how many little timmies and Julies and Billies and Hayden's are standing there watching these beautiful animals, watching the elephants at the LA Zoo, saying, and you've got the next veterinarian, you've got the next poacher hunter.

[Brian Bishop]

I'm with you. And then people go, yes, but if one elephant.

[Def Frat Guy]

And I'm like, other than a poacher, I don't.

[Brian Bishop]

I don't know.

[Carolyn Hennessy]

We don't have the space. And we've got too many people on the planet.

[Brian Bishop]

Yes, we do.

[Carolyn Hennessy]

To afford 1 versus 100, we can't do it anymore.

[Brian Bishop]

I'm down with you. And our good friend Kevin Nealon agreed about Bonzo the elephant. Oh, Bonzo. Billy.

[Carolyn Hennessy]

Billy the elephant.

[Def Frat Guy]

Bonzo is elephant for Billy.

[Brian Bishop]

I know. I just laugh. All right, look, again, these things, it's really easy to just sit back and go, if one orca whale dies in captivity, that's one too many. And it's right up there to me with sort of the end war bumper stickers, like, all right, but now what are we really going to do about this? And I agree. I don't know. Let's put it. I'll put it to you this way. If There was no SeaWorld and no Shamu and no orcas and no, you know, going up and pulling the. Pulling the fish out of the trainer's mouth or hitting the ball or whatever, maybe I wouldn't know what they were. Like, maybe I'd just go, oh, what the fuck? That thing looks like a shark. Kill it. You know, Like, I don't know how educated I would be on this majestic beast, you know?

[Def Frat Guy]

Right. Because we saw Day of the Dolphin.

[Brian Bishop]

There was a movie called Orca, and there was an orca in that one that didn't turn out to be. Yeah.

[Carolyn Hennessy]

And he was not a pleasant creature.

[Brian Bishop]

No. So, I don't know. And, yeah, maybe. And it's. Again, it's. It's. It's super easy to demonize everybody.

[Carolyn Hennessy]

But if this were 100 years ago, I would agree with you. One orca killed is one too many. And. But it's. What we're dealing with now, unfortunately, is the real world.

[Def Frat Guy]

But now that awareness has been raised, you're saying that without the aquarium or aquaria for them to live in, they. There's not enough ocean for them. I mean, are we. Are we really housing that many in aquariums?

[Carolyn Hennessy]

We're not. No, no, no, no. There are thousands. But I'm saying that we have so polluted much of their roaming space that. And we've got to stop that. We have to try and turn that trend around somehow, someway. And the only way we're going to be able to do that is to understand that we are polluting their living spaces. And this is. This is what's gonna. This is what's gonna be compromised. This beautiful creature.

[Brian Bishop]

I don't like to brag, but I, as a young lad, shit in a decorative popcorn tin. So I was not part of the problem. I was not part of the problem.

[Adam Carolla]

Here's you with a tin in your hand, looking at the ocean.

[Def Frat Guy]

You were leaving the world. That's not a better place than you found.

[Carolyn Hennessy]

That was a Merry Christmas.

[Brian Bishop]

I'm sure that was the theme.

[Carolyn Hennessy]

It was Christmas.

[Brian Bishop]

Christmas popcorn, ironically, that was the theme.

[Adam Carolla]

Is there any other theme for decorative popcorn tins? It's just Christmas.

[Brian Bishop]

I don't know.

[Carolyn Hennessy]

I remember it's a trifold. You know, the caramel, the cheese and the regular.

[Brian Bishop]

That's the only time that the white cheddar really comes into play is when it hits popcorn. Yeah, you don't get it on an omelet where someone gives you the white cheddar, but for some reason, when it hits the popcorn, it all turns white again. Everything's going racial. All right, should we do some news? Allison Rosen.

[Allison Rosen]

Yes, the news with Allison Rosen.

[Brian Bishop]

She'll read some news from her iPad. Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad.

[Sasha Gray]

It's Allison.

[Brian Bishop]

Allison, Allison.

[Carolyn Hennessy]

Oh, you've got your own.

[Brian Bishop]

And when it's time to wrap it up, she'll sign it off with zip. It's Allison.

[Sasha Gray]

Allison.

[Brian Bishop]

Mmm. Insight, baby. I want to give you a month's worth of free erections. How about that? Have a whale of an erection all at once.

[Adam Carolla]

Are they going to space it out?

[Brian Bishop]

I'm thinking about spreading it out over the year, over the month. You know, Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Like some kind of custody thing with your. With your honker enzyme. That's how millions of men are dealing with erectile quality baby support. The strongest, most powerful erections possible. Achieve peak sexual enhancement. That's right. That's what I want. I want to live at the peak. Although not where the snow is that kills it. One capsule a day for strong peak male enhancement. Dawson, babe.

[Allison Rosen]

To score a special free 30 day trial of ensite and receive a free sample of their popular prostate supplement. All you pay is shipping. That's a free 30 day trial of and a sample of their popular prostate supplement.

[Brian Bishop]

Free. Hurry.

[Allison Rosen]

Call 1800-364968-01800-364-9680 or go to smilingbob.com these statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat or cure any disease. Free trial requires fee life enrollment with future auto shipments.

[Brian Bishop]

Wow. Dawson, off the coffee, baby. You're feeling out of control Pretty good. All right, where was I? Allison Rosen.

[Def Frat Guy]

Yes. So we haven't had a chance yet to talk about the shooting at LAX on Friday. They killed one TSA officer and wounded three other people, including two more TSA workers. The shooter was a 23 year old by the name of Paul Sancia. He was not a ticketed passenger. He's an unemployed motorcycle mechanic who grew up in New Jersey. He was shot four times and was under a 24 hour armed guard at the hospital. He's been charged with murder of a federal officer and committing violence at an international airport, he could be qualified, the charges could qualify him for the death penalty. He walked into the airport, pulled out an assault rifle from a duffel bag and fired repeatedly at point blank range at the 39 year old TSA officer who he ended up killing. And he shot him a few times and then left and looked back and noticed that the officer was still alive and then came back to finish him off.

[Brian Bishop]

Wow. But it wasn't this one. He had it in for tsa, but not this one guy.

[Def Frat Guy]

No, this was just a random guy. In fact, afterwards he walked up to people and he said, are you tsa? And they said no. And he kept going. So he had made the conscious decision to try to kill multiple TSA employees. There was a note, a handwritten, handwritten note found in his duffel bag. He said that he wanted to, quote, instill fear in their traitorous minds. And the letter also talked about how easy it is to get a gun into the airport.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, here's the thing. First off, a couple of things people were saying like, oh, he got a gun past security. No, he brought it to security. And then secondly, you know, I don't know where we're going to. We're going to have to put our checkpoints at the end of everyone's driveway at this point. Because yes, you can drive your car to an airport, you can get your bags out of the trunk of your car and you can walk into the airport. We all do it. I mean, it could be loaded with C4, it could be loaded with hunting rifles, or with me, just the gimp balls and the mask, the leather mask, that's what I travel with. And the universal remote, but that's. And the Bugles, that's how I travel. But I don't know at this point where we go, look, look, what are we doing about security? Like, look, when somebody walks onto a campus, when somebody walks into an airport, when somebody walks into a Starbucks, when someone walks into a military base, when someone walks into a McDonald's. Look, there's just not enough checkpoints and security guards. I mean, into a movie theater, I mean, for Christ's sake, you do it. But think about all the places you are every day. Whether it's the movie theater, whether it's the restaurant, whether it's to picking your kids up at school, whether it's going in to get the Jiffy Lube, you're going to get your oil change. Well, somebody walked in with a gun and started shooting everyone at The Jiffy Lube. Why didn't they have adequate security? It's like, there's never going to be adequate security. Everyone is going to have to be assigned a guy with an earpiece and a blazer.

[Def Frat Guy]

Do we get any choice about who we're assigned?

[Carolyn Hennessy]

And a gun?

[Brian Bishop]

Yes. And a gun, like there. No. There's never going to be enough of those guys. I mean, I think you're going to have to pick your targets, where you go, here's populated areas, here's areas of interest, and then have those areas populated by security, probably. Hopefully some undercover variety, packing some heat, roaming around looking for guys with duffel bags and crazy eyes. But how does this happen? For me, it's always the fact that it barely ever happens and that there's one person dead versus happens every other week, and each time there's nine people dead. There's no possible way in our society, with the amount of guns in our society and the amount of assertive emotional illness we have in our society, that you're going to ever prevent it. You can. There are ways to keep the body count down.

[Carolyn Hennessy]

Right.

[Brian Bishop]

But I don't think you're ever going to go, well, how did this happen? And for those that go, how did this happen again? You reverse engineer it. What shall we do? How do we get this guy? How do we.

[Def Frat Guy]

Right, because if the security had been at the door to the entrance of the airport, then he would have done it right outside.

[Carolyn Hennessy]

They would have been shot at the.

[Brian Bishop]

Door and then shot then. Or shot outside of the airport. He killed one guy. He could have killed one cop. He could have killed his apartment manager if his manager intervened. That's a body.

[Def Frat Guy]

His parents were worried about him based on some texts that he had sent in the week before. And so they had called local police in New Jersey who relayed their concerns to LA authorities. And apparently the LAPD had been in contact with the shooter's roommates, who said that he seemed okay. So they were kind of aware of what was going on.

[Brian Bishop]

Wow. You know, my. Somebody sent me a tweet which was me complaining about the tsa. And, you know, I want to address that because, sure, it was you. Could have been me, but you celebrate the mutual. Their union rep was saying, you know how everyone was a great person, this, that, and the other. Nobody wants anyone to get shot. Obviously, what I was saying when I was bitching about the tsa, a multitude of things, but one is, when I travel the country, the TSA in Chicago is a lot more friendly than the tsa. In LA to say, you know, all these people are super family oriented, nice, you know, folks that never want to. Whatever. All I was saying is, how about a thank you? Come again. Enjoy your flight. Whatever it is. That was my main beef with the LA tsa, and I don't think it was this guy's main beef was the attitude, the sort of grunt as they handed you your boarding pass back versus the thank you or whatever. Whatever would be the appropriate. If you had a business. Whatever that business was, whatever the appropriate response would be to handing you back your receipt or your credit card or whatever it is that you provided for them. Either way, the fact that this guy just took one life is pretty miraculous considering all the shooting that was going.

[Def Frat Guy]

On and all the ammunition that he.

[Brian Bishop]

Had with him and all that. Whatever he had with him. And as far as the. Well, what are we going to do about it? The answer is nothing. The answer is self policing. It is parents, like this guy's parents. It's roommates, it's neighbors, it's eyes everywhere. There's just not enough cops, TSA counselors, whatever. There's just not enough. We all need to be the person who lives in this guy's apartment building, who goes, I saw this guy coming home with a rifle, and he seems to be weird. And he's playing. He's playing as Ted Nugent just a little bit too loud in the wee hours of the morning. And then as far as the government goes, we need to have some stuff that says, look, if a guy's. We are very much in this mode, but this is not a new thing. I said, the North Hollywood bank robbers, these guys were pulled over three miles from where we're sitting. And they had police scanners and ski masks and banana clips and fake mustaches and funny nose and glasses, big nose and glasses and body armor and everything in the trunk of their car. And they got like, three months in the joint and they got all their shit back.

[Carolyn Hennessy]

I didn't know that.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. I said, what the fuck kind of policing is this? And everyone said, well, they didn't do anything yet. They didn't do anything yet. And it's like, yeah, this is what policing is supposed to do. If somebody's coming to my house with zip ties and masking tape and an ether rag and you catch them in a bunch of box sets of the man show and you catch them, I want you to get them for kidnapping, not go, oh, well, he was on the way down. Now, of course, if I was dead in the trunk of the Guy's car, you'd have something. But I don't want my corpse to represent having something. I want you to have him driving to my house with the map to my house and the zip ties and the ether wagon and go, this guy was about to kidnap Adam Carolla. Well, we found all this shit and we went, well, what are you going to do? 1600 rounds, AK47s, two rifles, two handguns, over 1200 rounds for nine millimeter. Police scanners, everything. Body armor, everything on the car.

[Def Frat Guy]

I mean, can't that be coincidence?

[Carolyn Hennessy]

What I want to know is I.

[Brian Bishop]

Know a lot of cars come with that and a space saver.

[Carolyn Hennessy]

Police talked to his roommates. Why didn't they talk to him?

[Def Frat Guy]

That's a good question.

[Brian Bishop]

I don't know, but I would like. And we're weird in our society because we're like, well, we can't infringe on these people's rights. It's like, look, if you choose to drive around with smoke bombs, police scanners, body armor rifles and banana clips with 1600 rounds in it, and so on and so forth, that's on you. That is fucking on you.

[Carolyn Hennessy]

I think you send texts to your parents that worry them so that they call the local police, who then call the Los Angeles police. I think your rights, in terms of infringing on your rights, I think you get a talking to.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. These guys, by the way, the North Hollywood bank robbers, 100 days in jail, and they got a lot of their shit back when they got out of jail. Which had to be a weird thing like banana clips, AK47s, police scams.

[Carolyn Hennessy]

If someone wants to do it, they're gonna do it. They're gonna find a way.

[Brian Bishop]

That's where we're at. So what I'm saying is, you know, we always do this things like, what about the authorities? First off, the authorities are fuck ups in general.

[Def Frat Guy]

That was this guy's point.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, I mean, they are fuck ups. The Chandra Levy case, I've said it many times, the fucking woman's body was in the park. They found the dude who jumped on two other women who were jogging with Walkman on dragged them off and raped them and tried to kill them. They had that guy in custody and they had the fucking DA from Washington D.C. or whoever it was going, look, everybody, it's not this guy. It's not the guy who's done this. It's gotta be somebody else. They're fuck ups. They're fuck ups. They're low level. Look, here's our problem. We've seen way too many TV shows where LL Cool J sliding across the fucking hood in slow motion. Mainly these guys are fuck ups. I've seen enough of these shows. On Friday nights, the case goes cold and then somebody calls them. That's how almost all these things are solved. There's plenty of time for backup. And these guys are generally fuck ups. It's up to us.

[Adam Carolla]

You should pitch that show. Plenty of time for backup.

[Brian Bishop]

LL Cool Jack, waiting for it to not make a move, hearing screams coming from the building and fires come up from, from the sky.

[Adam Carolla]

How's that cold case going, huh? The cold case, the one that you've been speaking of cold seven years.

[Brian Bishop]

Can you nucleus coffee?

[Adam Carolla]

That's the end of act one.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. It's up to the roommates, the landlords, the lovers, the boyfriends and the girlfriends, the parents, everybody around to go, hey, what's up? And then we need laws.

[Def Frat Guy]

I'm beginning to wonder though, how clear is it? Because people, if they want to hide something, it's pretty easy for them to hide it. And by that I'm saying if you talk to people who lost someone to suicide and they'll be like, how did I miss the signs? And it's like, because the person didn't want you to see it.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, also you have to do a sort of body count deal, which is this is one body and it's one body too much or too many, but it's one body, you know, and it happened at lax, so it's a big deal. But if it happened at a bar outside of lax, then we wouldn't be talking about it, right?

[Carolyn Hennessy]

Well, I think it's one body only because he didn't hit the right spot with the other three people and he missed with probably, and they took him.

[Brian Bishop]

Out pretty quick, which is good, which oftentimes happens. And here's the bottom line. The bottom line is it's never going to be perfect. And if a crazy person wants to walk to wherever one is viewing Niagara Falls and start opening up unto them, there's going to be bodies and people can go, well, why wasn't there adequate security? There's never going to be, unless you're the president or the first lady. There's just never going to be that kind of security. What we should do is try to learn. Somebody said, well, why not the armed guy at the security where there used to be? And somebody else said, well, we don't want those guys where people can find them. We want them moving around so that if you're a Terrorist. You won't go. That guy's there at that point. That guy's there at that point. Meaning you can hatch a plan. And I thought, okay, that makes sense. And this is what it means. It means evolving and moving forward.

[Carolyn Hennessy]

Find the funds to have both. So you've got the presence that's visible, and then you've got the guys patrolling and you don't know. And you don't know who they are.

[Brian Bishop]

You know what I mean? I'm fine with that. And again, this sort of thing of why, why, why? Come on. Now.

[Carolyn Hennessy]

Then you get into mental illness.

[Brian Bishop]

Never going to answer that. But I would like us. And we're talking about it, you know, just last week, I think I would like us to take a year off AIDS and breast cancer and focus on mental illness. Just do one year. Just one year of that aids. And the AIDS research will go on, and the breast cancer research will go on. We're not going to stop it. It will just be one year of. Instead of the NFL wearing pink, it wears. They all wear Napoleon outfits and are chased by guys.

[Def Frat Guy]

That would be amazing.

[Brian Bishop]

When a guy breaks into the open open field, he's chased with a butterfly net. All right. I like that Pope trying to hold his hat on.

[Def Frat Guy]

I would become such a sports fan.

[Carolyn Hennessy]

One team is in straight jackets, one team is in white coats.

[Brian Bishop]

That's right. That's right. With the butterfly net. And the guy who's breaking away with this Napoleon outfit on is trying to hold his hat on while he's running.

[Carolyn Hennessy]

Those are the referees. Those are the referees.

[Brian Bishop]

The football would be a Jerry's Kids hopper where. With a bunch of change in it that was grabbed from the front of a 7 11. So he's like. It was just trailing change, like running like a mad person.

[Def Frat Guy]

It's like a plastic thing that has the slit cut in the top.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. It'd be that thick.

[Carolyn Hennessy]

Like a little coffee can with two.

[Brian Bishop]

Packs of menthol cigarettes and some Slim Jims. Like, you just grab whatever was sitting at the front of the 7 11, made a dash for the parking lot. That's what it would be.

[Adam Carolla]

You have to wear two different color shoes and. Or socks.

[Brian Bishop]

That's right.

[Adam Carolla]

Mismatched.

[Carolyn Hennessy]

The cheerleaders are just it all in, like nurse Ratchet uniforms.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. Bring bringing awareness to mental illness. All right, let's do one more story.

[Def Frat Guy]

All right. So there has. There's a new record in terms of how fast someone can drive across the country. The new record is 28 hours and 50 minutes.

[Brian Bishop]

I like that. What was the last one?

[Def Frat Guy]

It was 31 hours and four minutes. So it was a three person team drove across the country. The recent record in a 2004 Mercedes Benz CL55AMG.

[Carolyn Hennessy]

Did they go across the larger, the north part of the country?

[Def Frat Guy]

I'm guessing the Cannonball Run route.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, the Cannonball Run is an actual story and a bunch of dudes and this guy had like police jammers and radar detectors and all this stuff.

[Def Frat Guy]

Yeah, he coveted the car with all sorts of stuff that would allow him to keep going. And they averaged about 98 miles an hour.

[Brian Bishop]

Saw some. Listen, everybody get yourself a radar detector. I have one, Gary has one. The whole thing, it's one of these things, it's a weird thing. A radar detector is essentially the price of a speeding ticket. It's one speeding ticket is what a radar detector cost. And over the course of your life and time and what have you and seeing how the speed limit's abnormally low and statistics have shown this and it's just a fucking way to rape people, to rape citizens. And when there's nothing going on between here in Vegas or here in San Francisco and you're driving a newish car, 85 miles an hour feels like nothing. And you can get to your fucking destination so fucking much faster when you're moving at 85 or 90 than you can at 55 or 60. Let's get a radar detector. Just go to AdamCarolla.com click through the Amazon link. I have one, Gary has one. I just travel. I haven't got a speeding ticket since I've got one and I have to go. Like I was going to do a race at Laguna Seca. We left my house at 5am, it's dark outside and we're going up now. There's no traffic between here and basically Pebble beach at 5 in the morning. And we're driving a car that's $100,000 car that's perfectly safe at 95 miles an hour and trying to make time. But there's chicken shit cops all over the fucking place handing out chicken shit tickets. So you get a radar detector and they work pretty fucking well. The first thing they do is they just sort of. It's basically there's two things. One is it lets you know when you're coming up on a speed trap. But there's a deeper psychological component. It's like sitting next to a guy who keeps poking you in the leg with a pen going, hey, look out for the cops. Pay attention, pay attention. Look out for the cops. And it makes little noises and stuff and you just sort of wake up. Because what happens with the cops is you see the earth's curvature in front of you. There's no traffic. You're driving a brand new car. You have your stereo on, the windows are rolled up, the seat heaters on, and before you know it, you're doing 87. It just doesn't feel like 87. You've kind of dozed off a little. You drive at the speed that feels safe to you. And when there's no one in front of you and you're just sort of listening to your Pet Shop Boys, as I'm apt to do, and the thing's just going up, sounds of the orca. And you're just driving along, next thing you know, and then you look in your review and then you see a cop. And then you look down, you go, oh, fuck, 87. And you go, oh my God, now you're getting pulled over. This thing just keeps you awake. It basically just a little red light. You put it on your. Put on your window. Everyone should do it. Look. Thank you. Point is, if they're going to use technology to rape you, you should use technology to avoid the rape. Avoid the rape. Avoid the rape. That's right. Go get one. Just go get one. So this guy had a jammer he radar detector and he was able to make it across the ground. Now here's the thing. He averaged 98 miles an hour and a car's got 17 airbags and it's fine. Does anyone feel like they were jeopardized? Good. The answer is good. And the reason we say good is because we're trying to push back against the Man. And thus, full circle comes the balance. We want the man to protect us at the airport, but we don't want him to give us chicken shit tickets. And whenever they do the thing where they go get Matt the Porcelain Punisher finally are on the blur. Whenever they do that move or they go, well, we just don't have the personnel. Oh, fucking bullshit you don't. Because I've seen those assholes up in the hills at 2 in the morning. Matt the Porcelain Punisher.

[David J]

What up, boss?

[Brian Bishop]

I drove your route yesterday.

[David J]

How'd it go?

[Brian Bishop]

I said to my kids and I said to my wife, we're going to go to where the Porcelain Punisher got his chicken shit ticket. Everybody, it's just underneath the dog park, underneath the Hollywood sign. You go around the dog park by where Madonna used to live. Underneath the Hollywood sign, there's A fucking three way stop sign. It's a T. And you're coming down the top part of the T and you're going to turn left.

[David J]

That's correct.

[Brian Bishop]

And there's just no reason to come to a complete stop. As a matter of fact, coming to a complete stop, all we ever talk about is energy and energy conservation. This scrubs off a ton of energy.

[Carolyn Hennessy]

It wears the brakes.

[Brian Bishop]

It wears the brakes and you have to use more fuel to get back up to speed again. There's no and you're going down a hill. There's no reason to come to a complete stop. There's nobody coming your direction. There's nobody coming the other direction. Yeah.

[David J]

There's not even a way to have cross traffic.

[Brian Bishop]

There's a house there. There's a house at the top of the T. So you're turning left, but you didn't come to a complete stop. You just slowed down a little and turned left. Right.

[David J]

Unfortunately, yes.

[Brian Bishop]

And what happened?

[David J]

There was a douchebag officer on a motorcycle doing the good work, doing the Lord's work up in the Hollywood Hills near a peaceful dog park and wrote me a stop sign.

[Brian Bishop]

Was he chasing a gangbanger and stopped to write you a ticket or was he just parked there?

[David J]

Not only was he just parked there, but as soon as I drove away, I my rear view watched him make a U turn and park in the exact same spot.

[Brian Bishop]

Right. U turn. Which was infinitely more dangerous than whatever it is that you just did. Exactly. Again, all under the guise of safety. And I live up in those same hills. And when I was out of town and somebody hit the side of my house and my wife alone with my twins called 911, they said, we don't have a patrol officer that can get to that area. Well, you can get to that area when you can get paid. You can't get to that area when this one's on you. Meaning coming to my house and figuring out what went on with the guy who was by the way, a drunk driver and ran in the side of my house. You don't really get paid for that one, but you do get paid when you extract money from the porcelain punisher over there, which is, by the way, in terms of the area, much easier to get to where I was versus the depths of where Matt Fondelier was. So this is the duality we have with the cops. We do this thing all the time where it's like these guys are heroes. Yeah, except we all have gotten enough chicken shit tickets to be pissed off at the heroes. So I agree. Let's get these guys down at the airport. And secondly, let's stop using them as a modality to raise funds. Matt the porcelain punisher in the hills of Hollywood got one ticket for not having his wheels turned the right way and parked on the hill. That was 2am on a Saturday. I got one of those morning. Everyone's got one of those. Meaning somewhere at 2am when every other thing that had to do with the city was closed down. You want to go pull a permit in Van Nuys. You can't pull a permit at 2am on a Saturday night. But fucking park your car with the wheels not turned the right direction, Johnny, on the spot. And then you drive through the three way stop sign and basically your insurance is ruined. Yeah, and he's on his way to work to pay taxes. All right, Allison Rosen, by the way, I'll tell you who your new best friend is. It's Allison Rosen. Emily Gordon's on the show. New episodes on Monday and Thursday. And you can go to alisonrosen.com, you can go to itunes, you can go to our app.

[Def Frat Guy]

Don't do that now.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, yeah, that's right. Just go to alisonrosen.com for now. We'll figure it out. Carolyn. General Hospital. We know about that.

[Carolyn Hennessy]

Yep.

[Brian Bishop]

Also the radio show.

[Carolyn Hennessy]

Yep.

[Brian Bishop]

Animal magnetism. Sundays, 10am Channel 1 on the Universal Broadcast Network website. Carolyn hennessey.com Twitter Carolyn Hennessy. Anything we're missing, Carolyn?

[Carolyn Hennessy]

Just a series of my seventh novel just came out in my young adult series in June. And now we're all done with the Pandora series. Go buy it if you have tweens. Mm, yeah, yeah, yeah. How old are your kids?

[Brian Bishop]

Seven.

[Carolyn Hennessy]

They're pandy age.

[Brian Bishop]

They're really. They can read the novels. Oh, yeah, good.

[Carolyn Hennessy]

Maybe we'll get you some books.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, I love the written word. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. My, my kids love, they're, they're a little. I have to explain them all the time that some of the shit they're reading is really just done by hacks. Not you. No, but I mean, some of the stuff they're delighted by, they won't be delighted by in three years.

[Carolyn Hennessy]

They will be delighted by Pandora. It's a total retelling of the classical Greek myth. Lots of fun action. You know, it's Harry Potter meets Edith Hamilton.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, most people are, but. All right, give me those books. I will have my kids. I'll have them.

[Carolyn Hennessy]

We'll do.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. All right. So until next time, Zam Carolla For Carolyn and Allison, Bold Brian Sand. Mahala. What a boss.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, that was part two of Adam Kurill Show 1199. Coming up next, we have Adam Krill Show 1318. Robin Anton, Allison Rosen, Brian Bishop.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, oh, oh. Riley Auto Parts. O'Reilly Auto Parts is in the business of keeping your car on the road. They offer friendly, helpful service and parts and knowledge that you're going to need to maintain and do the repairs yourself. I've always used O'Reilly. I've used to hit the one up on Foothill when I was in La Crescento renting a house, keeping that Isuzu Trooper on the road. And they got thousands of parts and accessories and stock either in their store or online. So you have. Well, you don't have to worry. If you're in a jam, you can go online and get your stuff. You can go into a store and get your stuff. The team at O'Reilly Auto Parts can test your battery for free in or out of your car, which is nice because sometimes it's tough to get those babies out the car. You need your windshield wipers replaced, brake light fixed or a quick service? Well, they'll help you find the right part or point you to the nearest local repair shop as well and get help there. Whether you're a car aficionado or an auto novice, you're going to find the employees at O'Reilly Auto Parts are knowledgeable, helpful, and best of all, they're friendly. The professional parts people at O'Reilly O'Reilly Auto Parts, one stop shop for everything, especially if you're do it yourself or for your car in store online. You can stop by O'Reilly Auto Parts and do it today or Visit us online. O'Reilly auto.com Adam that's O'Reilly auto.com Adam Good day. Alison Rosen.

[Def Frat Guy]

Hello, Adam, Carolla and Ball.

[Brian Bishop]

Brian, My book. Yes. Kicks ass.

[Adam Carolla]

Twitter's not working. So I just picked out yesterday.

[Brian Bishop]

Brian's got himself a baldiwood that we said we're going to get to yesterday, but we shall get to today. People have been tweeting me quite a bit about a medical topic. Now what do I say?

[Def Frat Guy]

Everything you say comes true.

[Brian Bishop]

Yes. And the reason I know everything because you know nothing. Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

You do say that.

[Brian Bishop]

Yes. And people go, how does that make sense? How do you know everything if you know nothing? Knowing nothing helps a lot in your decision making because all you do is sit around with no prior experience and go, this didn't exist. Why does it exist now? And people have been tweeting me this story and it's in my book as well. So I went through this with my son who, if you saw, you know, my boy, and I'm sure he'll turn into a monster at some point physically, but he's one of the more attractive 7 year olds you're going to see. He's just a good looking, well proportioned.

[Def Frat Guy]

Little symmetrical little child.

[Brian Bishop]

Yes. Thus when they told me that his skull was misshapen and literally that his sunglasses might not sit right on his head, sort of picturing the horror. Yes. You know, once in a while they take the schnauzer and turn him around and put the sunglasses on the cut off tail and have his asshole be his mouth.

[Adam Carolla]

It's a good time.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, that's what they're saying. And I just said, that's ridiculous. And then I Talked to Joel McHale and a few other people and they're like, oh yeah, my kid had the helmet too. And I was like, why do all these kids have these helmets? And they're like, well, they all need helmets because their skulls are misshapen. And I said, how come no one I knew ever had a helmet and I've never seen this? And by the way, it didn't exist 15 years ago. Do you think we've evolved or devolved as human beings physiologically that much in 10 or 12 years? Well, now everyone requires a helmet. Or is this just more bullshit first world problem, nanny fucking state shit where we scare the shit out of every moment. By the way, I wonder if they're pitching these helmets to the folks that make under 30 grand a year, who come in here who sell the apples by the side of the freeway. You think they're pitching the fucking helmet or they just.

[Def Frat Guy]

I doubt it, because how could they afford the helmet, right?

[Brian Bishop]

I think they're just looking at Whitey driving the Audi, going, hey, your kid, you want him to be perfect, right? You want him to have every advantage. So I was like, I know this is fucking bullshit. And they said, well look, we'll go to the specialist and of course you.

[Adam Carolla]

Can roll the dice, Mr. Carolla.

[Brian Bishop]

And then of course they know, first of, they figured out two things. The fucking moneymakers have figured out two things. A very volatile combination between the person that is got their panties in a bunch over it and is emotional about it is not the person who's paying for it. That's a great separation to make because normally you have this decision of like, geez, I don't want this to happen, but I'm paying for it. So. But now we've separated the two. We have hysterical mom who's not paying for it, who wants the best, and then you have the expert who floats in and starts saying things like, well, there's a window. And you know, once that window closes, we're not going to be able to fix whatever potentially is wrong with your son's skull. So is this something that you want to. A chance you want to take on your young child, blah, blah, blah. And I'm just sitting around going, I fucking know. And they're going, this guy's a doctor who studies this, specializes in this, and this is their field of expertise. And you know more than they do. You, who was put on academic probation at a fucking junior college. You, who cleaned carpets for a living and picked up garbage on a construction site. You know more than this person.

[Def Frat Guy]

And do you really want to chance it with your precious baby?

[Brian Bishop]

Right, I do know more than that person because I don't have anything invested. Well, a study has come out. What do you know?

[Adam Carolla]

A study probably backed up the doctor's findings.

[Brian Bishop]

I'm guessing that's why I'm ranting about it.

[Def Frat Guy]

Helmets do little to help moderate infant skull flattening. Study finds roughly one baby in five under the age of six months develops a skull deformation caused by lying in a supine position. So lying on their back. Now, a study has found that a common remedy for the problem, an expensive custom made helmet worn by infants in most cases produces no more improvement in skull shape than doing nothing at all.

[Brian Bishop]

What?

[Def Frat Guy]

The new report published Thursday in the journal bmj is the first randomized trial of the helmet. The authors found, quote, virtually no treatment effective.

[Brian Bishop]

Bmj, by the way, excuse me, BMJ just sounds like some abbreviation for what you're into sexually. That is as wrong as wrong could ever be.

[Def Frat Guy]

It really does.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

SWM searching for bmj.

[Brian Bishop]

That's right.

[Adam Carolla]

On the DL.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Def Frat Guy]

So they took. They had a control group and then they had a bunch of kids, they put helmets on and two years later, experts couldn't tell which kids had worn the helmets and which hadn't.

[Brian Bishop]

All right, so Gary, why don't you get the best reader in the group to handing it off to Dawson. What's the best voice? My book from five years ago that chronicles what happened with my son in that and he will read a couple of the highlights.

[Allison Rosen]

Now, I don't know anything about human anatomy, but I know everything about human nature. No termite guy is going to come to your house for A free inspection and come up with nothing. That fleet of vans with the giant fabric fiberglass termites on the roof didn't pay for themselves. And when was the last time you took your car to the corner garage for the free brake inspection? And the guy said they look brand new. Come back after you circle around the. Circle around the globe a few times. If this guy doesn't find anything wrong with my son's head, he's not going to be able to afford the new tits he promised his wife. Obviously he's going to find something wrong. That fleet of vans with the giant fiberglass kids skulls on the tops didn't pay for themselves.

[Brian Bishop]

All right, Pete, Adam Corolla. Now what do I call the guy, by the way? I think there may be more there. And again, it's like stupid or liar. What, you're an expert? You see, my son, my son is fucking handsome. He is a handsome little kid. There's nothing you would say that is wrong with him whatsoever. And yet these guys said as physicians, they need this now. What if they said they needed his gallbladder removed? I mean, at what point do you get to fucking circle back and go, I want my fucking money back for the $4,600 hockey helmet you forced me to buy.

[Def Frat Guy]

Well, so now the makers of the helmet are of course they're pushing back against the study and they're saying, oh, the value of this research is fully reliant upon the quality of the fit.

[Allison Rosen]

Here's what you said, dear fuck wad. Obviously you don't know shit about your field. You said if my son didn't wear the helmet that his sunglasses wouldn't sit right on his head. Well, your four thousand dollar helmet became a four thousand dollar doorstop. And three years later my son's head is perfect. Which either means A, you're horrible at what you do, or or B, a liar preying on the guilt of moms who drive expensive SUVs. Perhaps it's a combination of incompetence and greed. Either way, you should focus full time on your true calling. Gay porn. Thank you.

[Brian Bishop]

Thank you. So there it is, everybody. The helmet doesn't do shit. Everyone's. By the way, as I said to my wife a thousand times, the kid's going to have a ton of hair. Because my wife has a ton of hair and I have a ton of hair. And we'll just shape the hair into the correct shape. Yeah, it doesn't matter what's cut a.

[Adam Carolla]

Little more off that one side.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, no, what I'm Saying is, I will make the Afro.

[Adam Carolla]

I will like a topiary.

[Brian Bishop]

I will make that. Yes. I will make the Afro harmonious and with symmetry. And it doesn't matter what's underneath the Afro. That shape. The outer shape will be that shape. There you go.

[Def Frat Guy]

People might not know, though. You actually did go ahead and get the helmet, right? And then he just. He wouldn't wear it.

[Brian Bishop]

Couldn't fucking. You cannot fight the specialist and the hysterical mom when the specialist is saying, yeah, first you have the doctor, and the doctor is just basically a shill for the specialist. And so the doctor goes, we may have an issue. And then hysterical mom goes, huh, What? And then he goes, well, now, this isn't my field of expertise, but there may be some asymmetry in your son's skull. So I would recommend that you speak to a specialist. Now, am I supposed to intervene at that point and yell, no, specialist. Because that makes you a fucking monster? So all I do is I go, I know this is bullshit. And then they go, meaning your wife says, well, let's just hear what the specialist has to say.

[Adam Carolla]

What's the harm?

[Brian Bishop]

Right now you're down the road, and we don't realize about 9/10 of life is once you're down the road, you don't hear that fucking gate locking behind you, but it's being locked. And you think, well, we can get to the specialists and if we don't agree or something, we'll just turn around and walk back the road. No, no, gate's locked, fucking welded shut. So you get to the specialist. Now you have the specialist going, ooh, ooh, what do we have here now? What's that? Drive back from the specialist with the old lady. Like, I don't care what the cranial specialist said.

[Def Frat Guy]

I know more.

[Brian Bishop]

I with zero education, putting my foot down. No fucking way. So yes, he got the helmet. And by the way, the helmet needs to be worn 23 hours a fucking day for I don't know how many months. It could be years. The point is, how about just the collective misery?

[Def Frat Guy]

Well, yeah. Cause it's like braces for your head. I mean, the whole point is that it reshapes your head. How uncomfortable that must be.

[Brian Bishop]

Put Sonny in this fucking helmet. He just started bawling his eyes out. And I remember it was during the summer. And I remember just like dog days of summer. And I saw like just a single bead of sweat just start pouring, coming down his forehead and get into his eye while he's lying on his back, he's Just squealing. And I was like, 23 hours a day of putting your fucking kid's head in a goddamn bench vise. And I just looked at Lynette. I went like, fuck this. And she's like, you know what? Fuck it, too. Like, I'm not gonna. Who the. Like, I had to get up and go to work, but she didn't want to stay home with this stuck pig. And she was like, fuck it. I was like, fuck it. And that was it. 20, you know, $4,000 doorstop.

[Adam Carolla]

But the good news is the resale value in the market for those custom made helmets. Custom made infant helmets.

[Brian Bishop]

It's the very lucrative redemption value is that of three 2 liter Sprite bottles. $4,000.

[Def Frat Guy]

You can invert it and make a planter.

[Brian Bishop]

No, no, you can't, because it's open. Oh, it's not even good for that. Not even good for that. You know what I should do? I should get hold of my friends over at Legal Zoom. You should shut these people down. That's right. Modern technology like the smartphones and the iPads make life easy. Make life easy, but they make life busy as well. Legal Zoom, they want to make life easy again. They want to help you, man. You want to start a business. You want to form an LLC, get a trademark will living trust. LegalZoom gets a job done right. You get personal attention, help you take care of all the details. They've been helping families and small businesses for 14 years. Plus and a plus from the Better Business Bureau. Dawson.

[Allison Rosen]

Go to LegalZoom.com today or call them at 800-773-0888. And don't forget to enter Adam in the referral box at checkout for a special discount. LegalZoom provides legal help through independent attorneys and self help services, but it's not a law firm.

[Brian Bishop]

How about a little Baldiwood? Should we do that? Bald Brian?

[Adam Carolla]

Yes, we should.

[Brian Bishop]

Hooray for Baldiwood. He will tell you if a movie's good. Brian will review the flicks that he's seen upon the big screen or in his Netflix queue. Before you spin bucks, remember his taste sucks. He loved that train wrecked piece of shit Transformers too. Hooray for Bounty war. Yeah, what do you got, Baldy?

[Adam Carolla]

Last few weeks, I did streaming video pics because people seem to really like them. I did Enough Said two weeks ago. Got a good response to that. People who watched it and liked it. Then I did how to Be a man, the Gavin McInnes movie. People like that one too. So one more Time. I'll do a video pic. Because people like them don't justify your.

[Def Frat Guy]

Laziness and refusal to go to a movie.

[Adam Carolla]

I know. I was in New York.

[Brian Bishop]

I'm sorry.

[Adam Carolla]

I'll do a video pic. I know you guys like good documentaries. I got one for you. This is called Let the Fire Burn. Let the Fire Burn came out last year. It got no Oscar love, no attention at all. And this is a really, really good documentary. Here's what it is. Directed by Jason Osdor. It's about a group in Philadelphia called Move. This group was called Move. And they were sort of hippies, but also sort of militants. They're a black group, and they sort of disconnected from society a little bit. Sort of Waco ish. David Koresh ish. But they were in Philadelphia, you know, suburban Philadelphia, Urban Philadelphia, Right. And one day they all adopted the last name Africa. They, like, wanted to separate from society a little bit. They were very, very much of their own means, but they were also very militant. Weapons and shit. And one day in 1985, the local cops had pretty much had enough and they basically burned their apartment complex down. This compound, they just burned it down. And that's where the title comes from. Because they were under orders to Let the fire burn. Basically just burned these people out of their home right now, killing pretty much everyone inside. Now, here's why this documentary is cool. It's a story I knew nothing about. I don't know if you remember this.

[Brian Bishop]

I do remember hearing some things. I don't know if it was about the documentary or just about the story, but I do remember.

[Adam Carolla]

Do you remember from the 80s when this happened? I never heard of this.

[Brian Bishop]

It's kind of hard to recall nowadays what I remember hearing about at some later point, seeing some late night, whatever, seeing some documentary or story on. Because a lot of this stuff gets covered on 60 Minutes. Ten years later, they tell you the story. And I do believe 60 Minutes did something on this at some point or some news organization. So then you can't remember if you saw it in real time or you saw it 10 years later.

[Adam Carolla]

But either way, here's why this one's cool. It's all entirely sourced footage. Everything is either news reports from that day or city council meetings that were taped from, like, a month later. When they're going over the stuff, they're interviewing the cops, they're on the stand and everything. And a few, like. I wouldn't say a caseworker who was assigned to the case. Like, original footage of that, of his sessions but it's all. There's no modern footage. There's no like interviews there. It's all from the time. And it's just such a well made documentary. I've never seen anything like this. I saw, it's like found footage documentary.

[Brian Bishop]

I saw, I believe, one of the 30 for 30s on OJ in the OJ day.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah, that was one of the original 30 for 30s.

[Brian Bishop]

And that was simply footage. No, sit down with anybody, just footage. And you'd think, well, how do they cobble this together? It works quite nicely. It's very compelling. Just to see all the news footage of the day and so on. But this, that was OJ was 93 or 94, whatever it was. But this is going back to 85.

[Adam Carolla]

So you can imagine how little footage problem exists compared to what we have today.

[Brian Bishop]

Right.

[Adam Carolla]

Here's the other reason why this is very cool. It's extremely even handed. I mean, by having no narrator, by having no modern interviews.

[Def Frat Guy]

It has no. I didn't realize I had no narrator.

[Adam Carolla]

No. A few title cards here and there, like, oh, Today's May Something. 1985. No narrator.

[Brian Bishop]

Originally Larry the Cable Guy.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, they tested that out and it didn't. Yeah, so it's so even handed because on the one hand, here I am starting and I'm like, this is gonna be about the evil cops and the cops that, you know, killed all these people and burned their house down and blah, blah. But. But while it is a little bit about that, it's not sympathetic to the group at all. It's like the group had many chances to avoid this situation and they were militant. They brought some of it on themselves.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, you know, I like that because I don't like when a documentary just sets out and goes, here's why. Somebody gets an idea and I don't know, or maybe it should be called something else. I know it's sort of like when movies say based on a true story and it's not, or they've changed the ending or whatever it is. We're just having a laugh. Somebody, Kevin Hinch and I, the guy working on Road Hard with, were just talking about this new movie with Jon Hamm where they get these cricket players from India or whatever and they do. And it's like based on a true story. None of those guys did anything in the major leagues, so I don't even know what they did in the minor leagues. It turns out they threw low to mid-90s ball, which is good enough for Triple A. It's not good enough for the show. So when they do the based on a true story, but then you watch the movie, and at the end, the guy's taking the mound for the Yankees. If that never happened, then what is this?

[Def Frat Guy]

It's like, what's the threshold for saying based on a true story?

[Brian Bishop]

Well, it's kind of bullshit, because they'll go, the beginning part is based on a true story, and now the guy's pitching in the World Series. And then that's bullshit.

[Adam Carolla]

You can't say, oh, wouldn't it be better if this true story did this?

[Brian Bishop]

Of course, because that makes it a much more interesting story. But if the guy just gets to Triple A and then flames out, then it's not really that great a story. I don't know how they portrayed this, but it bugs me. And I don't like it when people go, I'm going to make a documentary about fracking or a documentary about the migration of the Whatever. Or whatever it is. But I'll do it from my own angle, because that's really easy to do. And then you sit there and you're watching a bunch of facts, but the reality is through the lens of the person that is painting it this way or that way.

[Def Frat Guy]

You know, I worked as a journalist for years, and that used to happen all the time. I would start interviewing someone and they would say, what? You know, what's your angle? And I would explain the story I'm doing, and I would say, I don't know yet. I have to finish interviewing everyone to figure out what the angle is. I don't have one.

[Brian Bishop]

The angle should be let people decide for themselves. And if it's an interesting enough topic for a documentary, then it'll sustain itself. And it's okay to watch a movie and go, well, the cops were wrong. So were the militant black people. So were this, that group, that group, and this. You know, there can be times when there's. By the way, that's called life where it's not black and white.

[Adam Carolla]

It's nice not to have your. Or black and black. It's not. It's not to have your emotions steered in one way. You're like, I can see there's angles to this story, right? So, anyway, I think you guys will like it because it is a very unique documentary in that sense. I liked it a lot. I thought it was fantastic. Wish I got more Oscar love. You can stream it on Netflix and Amazon. I give it an A. I loved it.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, hooray for Baldiwar. Here's an interesting, controversial Question for bald Brian. If it had been steered, may it have got some more Oscar love or attention? Because it was even handed. There was no, you know, it was not. The Philadelphia PD went there and firebombed a bunch of innocent people. And if you really pushed that angle, maybe it's a really good point. It would have gotten some more consideration. The fact that for sure, it would.

[Adam Carolla]

Have tugged the heartstrings more.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, nobody wants, as I've learned from making one, not a documentary, but just making a tweener. They don't want in between. In between is life. It's truth. It's kind of the way it is. They want, oh, it's a nonstop farcical, over the top comedy or it's a feel good. Whatever, whatever. But they don't want that.

[Def Frat Guy]

They want something they've already had before.

[Brian Bishop]

Right. They don't want that thing down the middle, which is. Well, these guys could have done this differently, but those guys could have done that differently as well.

[Adam Carolla]

It's just so cool. It was refreshing to see clearly if I told you the story, like in a sentence, you'd be like, oh, yeah, these guys are set up to be the victims. These guys are set up to be the bad guys. It's just so nice to see them not play into that. Like they're pushing against it. It's a cool movie.

[Brian Bishop]

All right. Ah, stamps.com. you need yourself some stamps.com youm go to stamps.com 24 7, by the way, access to the post office right from your desk. No lines, no hassles. You get official US Postage. Any letter, any package, print it right off your computer. Print it, even print it right onto the envelope. Wow, I love that. Hand it off to cut up the middleman, Hand it off to the mail carrier. Do it yourself. We got a special offer. Use my name. They got no risk trial. $110 bonus. Offer includes a digital scale and up to 55 bucks free postage. Go to stamps.com before you do anything else, click the microphone, top of the homepage. Type in Adam. That is stamps.com promo code. Adam. All right, Robin, Anton is there. I'm a big fan of hers, of course. Also fan of her brother Jonathan. Love that show where he's cutting the hair and you love it. Just did you. Oh, shit.

[Adam Carolla]

I never saw Blowout. It was a show, right?

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, lots of proclamations of him going, hands on his hips, but with fists, clench, saying things like, I do hair, man. That's what I do. There's a lot of that. That Was awesome. Lovable, but colossal blowhard. So, well, Robin, Pussycat dolls and all that good stuff. Was dating McG, I think the director, many years ago when we.

[Def Frat Guy]

I think she's a member of Sugar Ray.

[Adam Carolla]

I think she did the choreography for the video. The video he directed for the Offspring.

[Brian Bishop]

We will take ourselves a quick break. Robin Anton in next.

[Sasha Gray]

Hey, everybody, it's Lynette Carolla. Check out my new show, 10th Avenue Podcast. You know my love for Bruce Springsteen. This month's episode is with Jim Rotolo. He is the host of Wild and the Innocent on E Street Radio. Fun Guy gave us some peek behind the scenes with Bruce. Sat at Bruce's house, ate a ham sandwich. And check out past episodes with Bill Rosenthal, Gary Delabade. And be sure to keep listening for great guests like Artie Lang, Bill Simmons, Joe McHale and more. So go to tenthavenuepodcast.com or subscribe on itunes.

[Allison Rosen]

Hey, Ace fans, how would you like to own the very first copy of President Me Personally signed by Adam Corolla and help us defeat the patent trolls at the same time? You can.

[Brian Bishop]

All right, bend over and give me some money.

[Allison Rosen]

Search President Me on ebay or click the [e-mail].

[Brian Bishop]

Thank you. Robin Anden here. Always good to see you, my dear.

[Sasha Gray]

You too, Adam. I've missed you.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, Robin's got a podcast. Robin and podcast, by the way, Kim Kardashian, David Spade, guys like that on the show every Tuesday on itunes and podcast at one. So let's see, last week we spoke, you came in, you're dating McGee, you're doing the Pussycat Dolls. I think that the show was on.

[Sasha Gray]

Yes, yes.

[Brian Bishop]

But let's focus on your brother. Okay. Yeah.

[Sasha Gray]

That was awesome. I love the fists and the.

[Brian Bishop]

I do hair. Well, he is a blowhard, right?

[Sasha Gray]

Yes, he is. He's still. Nothing's changed.

[Brian Bishop]

But there's something good about that, right?

[Sasha Gray]

Yes, absolutely.

[Brian Bishop]

And these two missed out on Blowout.

[Sasha Gray]

Which I can't believe. I mean, you got it now you got to go and you got to see the whole thing, right?

[Brian Bishop]

I mean, I love that show.

[Sasha Gray]

And he's still the same exact guy now. He's got a new salon now he's a dad. You know, he's got kids and they're in a wife. And I introduced him to the wife on the show and then got her pregnant, then married her.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, yeah. And they're still together?

[Sasha Gray]

Well, yes, they actually. I think. I think everybody knows this. They actually kind of broke up and maybe actually got Divorced for like a day and did the paperwork and then got back together.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh really?

[Sasha Gray]

I think something like that. But they followed in my parents footsteps because my parents got divorced for six years and then got back together.

[Brian Bishop]

You guys, Liz and Burton over there. Yeah, you guys. I love the Antins motor. I love the fact that you guys are just self starters or at least appear to be. Now I sort of remember talking about your past and you know, not everyone has a lot of formal training or education but everyone's got a super drive and a super motor to them which is better than anything else. And where did you guys grow up and how did you grow up?

[Sasha Gray]

I grew up in the Valley. My brother Neil actually was born in. He's the older one and he was born in London. My mother's British parents met in England and then went to New York. Had my brother Steve moved to the. To la. We lived in the valley, had me and Jonathan. And so you know, it's true, we are all just hard workers. We didn't come from anything really. You know. And my parents are really creative and my dad's an art. An artist. I mean really. That's how you know he started his thing and he's now an architect. My parents have an amazing interior design business.

[Brian Bishop]

What do the other brothers do?

[Sasha Gray]

So Steve is a director. He's a writer director. So people know him really from. Well, he was an actor and he was in Goonies. Oh yeah, he was. He played Troy who was the like rich kid that was, you know, a total brat. And then he was also in a movie called I can't remember what it's called. I'll IMDb anyway. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he wrote and directed Burlesque with Christina Aguilera.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Sasha Gray]

Which is a great film, honestly. And it's very. And he, you know, he was inspired by the Pussycat Dolls.

[Brian Bishop]

So. Yeah, I mean every. Well, not. Well, everyone. I mean even you take Jonathan does the hair. I don't know what the other brother does.

[Sasha Gray]

So Neil is a very creative guy. Neil actually runs my parents shop and he's great. He has that eye and he's great. You know he helps them and they're older so they need the help and he's so everybody. Okay, here we go.

[Brian Bishop]

I'm trying to figure out the movie that he.

[Sasha Gray]

Okay. It's so. Well, okay. Last American Virgin. Oh yeah, right, sure.

[Def Frat Guy]

Silver spoons.

[Sasha Gray]

Yeah. But let me tell you, Last American Virgin was so good.

[Brian Bishop]

So everybody in your family is not only sort of artistic but they're Artists, like, they're into fashion and choreography and I mean it's like a, like it's almost real, like old school show.

[Sasha Gray]

It really is. It really is. We have that family, you know, we all. Steve directed a commercial recently for Dasani Water and hired me as the choreographer. Jonathan Hare. Neil came in and shot it because he's a really great photographer. And it was just, it was fun. It was. We actually had fun. I mean, we thought that, we thought we were all going to argue, to tell you the truth. Like that Steve was going to come in and go, jonathan, the hair is wrong. And Jonathan was going to be like, fuck you. Like, I'm out of here. And then I was going to be like, you know, don't tell me how to choreograph. Which is how we are. But I think that we have come to a good place with each other. Not to say that my family doesn't argue. And you know, we have been asked to do the whole like reality thing.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh yeah, of course.

[Sasha Gray]

But we tried and we actually got in there and we did some like test reels and it was crazy. There were some fights that we realized maybe this isn't a good idea. And you know, you would think it would be good for camera. But I think it was to the point where it was like, we can't even get past one day of shooting. Well, don't we love each other?

[Brian Bishop]

Don't let me put money in your purse. But you're not hurting for cash, right? With all the Pussycat doll business and everything. I mean, you don't need to do a reality show.

[Sasha Gray]

No, I mean it's, you know, doing those shows is really, it's great for your brand and you know, I mean, everybody knows that. But it is, it does add a lot of, I think a lot of angst to your life. You know what I mean? Like, I don't know. I mean, I've done a lot of those shows and I like it. I mean, personally, I like being on camera and I enjoy that. Steve hates it. He's like, don't even put the camera in my face. And really, truly does not like it.

[Brian Bishop]

Jonathan loves it and the camera loves.

[Sasha Gray]

Jonathan and the camera loves him. Let me tell you.

[Brian Bishop]

I mean, it's a two way street.

[Sasha Gray]

I know. Exactly.

[Brian Bishop]

Between him and the camera. Exactly.

[Adam Carolla]

Apparently the cameras and the only one who loves him.

[Brian Bishop]

That's right.

[Sasha Gray]

I know, right?

[Brian Bishop]

Fucking love that blowout, man.

[Sasha Gray]

Oh yeah. I mean, guys come up to me all the time. They're like, oh my God. I think they're gonna tell me that they love me. And then it's like, robin, I love your brother.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, when he. When he gets the young recruits in there and gives them what's. What about the hair drying and all that stuff, that's when the.

[Def Frat Guy]

See, I was in my time on a show called Sheer Cut.

[Sasha Gray]

Oh, God.

[Def Frat Guy]

Yeah. Why did I do that? That was the wrong hair cut.

[Brian Bishop]

Wasted my time. You put your stock in Beta and.

[Sasha Gray]

He'S the first shows. I mean, the first hair show. And, you know, he took it to another level because he just told everybody, like, I mean, throwing bottles and, you know, cried on camera and therapists and. I mean, it's really good. Yeah, yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

Let's get it back. God damn it.

[Sasha Gray]

I know, right? But. Yeah, but I. So Pussycat Dolls is definitely. I'm still working on a lot of. You know, that I own it. And so, of course, I'm pushing doing anything.

[Brian Bishop]

How many Pussycat Dolls are there? Because there's kind of. Is it kind of blue, man? Y. Yeah.

[Sasha Gray]

Well, I went to Vegas and I did. I have a Pussycat Dolls casino where I have all. All the tables are all branded Pussycat Dolls, all the, like, logos, and it's leopard and it's pink. And all the dealers are Pussycat Dolls. And then there's girls that dance inside the pit, you know, in Go Go Cages. And then there's a whole merchandise, like, bar where, you know, I mean, it does really well.

[Brian Bishop]

That's your brand.

[Sasha Gray]

That's me.

[Brian Bishop]

Reminds me of the episode of when Jonathan was trying to get his own brand of conditioner off the ground. Oh, man. Did he get into it with the guy who designed that shit?

[Sasha Gray]

I mean, no, but the game.

[Brian Bishop]

No quarter. No, no quarter.

[Sasha Gray]

It's. You know, I say every day, like, when. No, but when I'm working on these things, I'm always like, where are the cameras? Because it's just crazy. Like, we. I was opening up the Pussycat Dolls Club at the time. You know that these clubs, they only last for so long. So I've done a few of them. Pussycat Dolls Saloon, Pussycat Dolls Lounge, and I'm opening up one here right now in Hollywood Boulevard.

[Brian Bishop]

But you have the eye and you understand what you want, what you want it to look like, what you want it to feel like.

[Sasha Gray]

Yes.

[Brian Bishop]

And you try to download that to people, and then they show up with something different, let me tell you. And the artists in you can't stop themselves, right?

[Sasha Gray]

It's so hard because it's like, you know, you. I have it's exactly what you said. You know, it's in. I see it. My vision is so clear. And then you try to explain it, and it's all on paper, and there's, you know, diagrams, there's everything. And then they come in and they just, like, fuck it up, like, so bad. To the point where we had this. You know, we had, like, a champagne glass that came out of the ground, right? And it took. Okay, this is. This was my whole thing. We're in Vegas. Like, aren't you supposed to be able to do anything in Vegas? They have O there and all those Cirque du Soleil shows, and it's just magic everywhere. And then we have this champagne glass that literally, like, every time the floor opens and it comes out of the ground, it's like. Like just the worst mechanical, you know, meltdown every single time. And then, like, the girl who was Chuck Liddell's girlfriend at the time will afford the Iceman. Iceman. So she was our guest. She opened the show and she was.

[Brian Bishop]

You have guests, dancers, burlesque dancers come in.

[Sasha Gray]

Yeah, we've had guests, sure.

[Brian Bishop]

Celebrities. Big time show. All of them.

[Sasha Gray]

Exactly. All the above. And she was the one in Vegas and came out in the champagne glass. And she's coming up and the whole thing is, like, closing in on her. Like, literally, like, getting ready to just smash her. And she's screaming. And all of a sudden, there's Chuck Liddell running through the audience, like, slow motion, like, pushing everybody out, you know, run. Jumps over everyone, opens up the floor like, you know, Superman.

[Brian Bishop]

It was MMA fighter, by the way, Allison.

[Sasha Gray]

Exactly.

[Def Frat Guy]

I actually did know that.

[Brian Bishop]

Okay, all right, well, I'm just saying. You want to talk about range? Seen every episode of Blowout. Very familiar with Chuck Liddell as well. That's a lot of sexual range.

[Sasha Gray]

I'm really into Ultimate Fighting, so the part.

[Brian Bishop]

And I know what happens, and I'm in the middle of making a movie. So this crops up every day where you write the script. And you write something very specific in the script. And then you go ahead and you get into that scene and you're in a bathroom, and it says, takes up the bathroom floor mat, rolls it up so that the rubber side is out and stuffs it under the bathroom door. And then you're standing in the bathroom and you go, where's the floor mat? And they point at the towel that hangs by the tub in the hotel. And you go, that's the floor mat. And you go, well, that's a towel. And they go, no, That's a floor mat. And you go, no, that's a towel. And they go, well, it's a towel that you put on the floor when you take a shower. So it becomes a floor mat. And you go, okay, but in the script, what's it say exactly? And it says, he rolls up the floor mat and puts it under the door. That's a floor mat. And I go, no, that's a towel. And by the way, it says rubber side out. Where is the rubber? And then they start. Then there's a point where you start. Now they think you're an asshole.

[Sasha Gray]

Exactly.

[Brian Bishop]

But you're like, read it. Just read it. Read it. Just read it. And it'll say what it is. And then it'll say what it is. I know. You go, guys work in the floor buffer. And the floor buffer turns into a vacuum cleaner because nobody did the thing. And you're like, just read it. And then just go get it.

[Sasha Gray]

Yeah. They make it so complicated. And it just never has to be, you know, I'm straight to the point with everything.

[Brian Bishop]

But then people walk away from the conversation and they go, what a bitch.

[Sasha Gray]

I know.

[Brian Bishop]

Always. And you're like, yes, maybe. But on the other hand, if you simply read what it says and then simply go, execute that.

[Sasha Gray]

Oh, it happens all the time. I just. I have a new girl group called grl. And we did it. We just did a song with Pitbull. Do you like Pitbull?

[Brian Bishop]

I don't know. But evidently he's the biggest person on the planet because every commercial, everything, it's all Pitbull and brought to you by Pitbull and Budweiser brings you Pitbull.

[Sasha Gray]

I know the guy is insane. And, you know, I mean, my mother. Everybody loves the guy, but, you know, when you see him, you get to know him and you see his whole thing. Do you like him? No.

[Def Frat Guy]

Sure. I feel like I know him in the same way. The same way that I know Adam. I mean, not the same way. I know who he is. I'm not familiar with his work.

[Brian Bishop]

He's just this ubiquitous.

[Sasha Gray]

He's just this Miami suave. Like, there's something about him.

[Adam Carolla]

He does crossover appeal.

[Sasha Gray]

He does. Exactly.

[Adam Carolla]

He appeals to Hispanics.

[Sasha Gray]

So he chose my new girl group that are hot. Grl. You gotta see the whole thing. And it's called Wild, Wild Love, and it's all over the radio. And it's crazy because for me, it's crazy that it's actually happening again. I have another group, a song that's blowing up yeah, yeah, yeah, but, but I, but this just happened the other day with the styling thing. And I, you know, I just, I told, I put in an email, I told them exactly what was happening. They ignored it. And then, I mean, no, that's the.

[Brian Bishop]

I've always said the last movie I.

[Sasha Gray]

Made, that's not a good picture, but.

[Brian Bishop]

We'Ll get a better GRL picture.

[Def Frat Guy]

There's a bald girl in there.

[Sasha Gray]

Yes, there is a shaved head girl.

[Brian Bishop]

The last movie I made, there's a scene where I go and talk to a guy who's selling freeway oranges by the side of the freeway. And I give him this kind of coaching life, kind of cathartic thing. And I go, do you understand, Carlos? You understand where I'm coming from? And then when we're done, he holds up and in the script it says a pillowcase size sack of peanuts. That's what it says in the script. So he has to hold up a huge sack of peanuts. And then you get to taping it that day or filming it that day, and you go, okay, where's Carlos? Peanuts? And they hand you a small brown bag and you go, what's in this bag? And they go, peanuts. And you go, well, you can't see them, but this seems like he's putting peanuts in a small lunch bag and then selling them individually. And you go, the script said he was selling peanuts. And you go, hold on a second. It says in the script a pillowcase sized sack of peanuts. And then the guy looks at me and he goes, peanuts don't come in a pillowcase. I said, I know, it's a huge sack of peanuts. And then they start negotiating like doesn't matter that much. I mean, he's just holding up peanuts. And you go, first off, let's not have the discussion about whether it matters or not. Let's have the discussion about you going, holy shit, I'm sorry. And I'm running out to find peanuts.

[Sasha Gray]

Right? Just get it right from the beginning. And then not negotiate about whether it's, you know, the.

[Brian Bishop]

We're looking at a better picture of a grl, by the way. But it's. It. When you are involved with these endeavors, it is a never ending waterfall of disappointment because not. Because things don't get done right. I'm working with great people. It's just you don't notice the shit that's done right. You only notice the fuck ups because that's how you're wired. And you want to say to everybody, unfortunately, I'm not going to stop and tell everyone when they've done something, right. Because I won't notice that I will notice the fuck ups. And thus it's going to sound like all you're going to hear is me complaining.

[Sasha Gray]

Exactly. It's like, because when it's great, you just go great. You know, and everyone's like congratulations or you know, good job. And then when it's not, it's just like list just emails that go on forever and you know, exclamation marks everywhere. And you know what I mean, it's just, it's just non stop. And I mean, I try to be very clear about what I want and how I want it and, and yes, you know, they can say I'm a bitch and I'm controlling and all that, but I wouldn't be here if I wasn't.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Sasha Gray]

You know, and I have had to learn to, you know, I know.

[Brian Bishop]

And they do this thing, you rip.

[Sasha Gray]

The reins a little.

[Brian Bishop]

They do all the time. They just say all the time, they go, well, when a woman does that, she's a bitch. But when a guy does it, oh, he's a dick. Believe me, everyone thinks I'm a dickhead. So everyone just gets. But that's the problem when you're doing whatever it is you want it the way you have it in your head. And if that's not executed and I.

[Sasha Gray]

Like taking chances, you know, I like a little risk in there and a little, you know, I don't like to be so formula and like, let's just do it this way. And you know, just when it comes down to like the image and all of that, I like them to be.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, also I would say, but don't let me put words in your mouth and we'll get ready and do a little news. And Robin, you hang in and crack wise. That's why you are who you are. You're detail oriented. You have a picture in your head of how it's going to be. It's not that you're close minded, it's that you're really focused creatively and that's what you want executed.

[Sasha Gray]

Exactly.

[Brian Bishop]

Whatever it is, if it's an aesthetic or if it's a sound or if it's a champagne glass coming out of Chuck Liddell's ass.

[Def Frat Guy]

Can I ask Robin a quick question? You said that you have learned to loosen the reins a bit.

[Sasha Gray]

Loosen up my buttons?

[Def Frat Guy]

How has that affected the product?

[Sasha Gray]

I think that it. No, I mean, yes, at times when I might loosen up at the wrong time, where I go, you Know what? I shouldn't have turned my back on that one. Or I should been closer to that one and maybe loosened up at another time. So, yes, I mean, it can, you know, but I think overall, I just, you know, it's about collaborating and definitely, you know, standing being able to work with my partners and not work against them. You know what I mean?

[Brian Bishop]

But can I say, it's also the people who tell you, by the way, who aren't doing anything, just relax, lighten up, leave it alone. You know what I mean? It's like, well, trust, have faith. Yeah, that gets you. A Mexican holding up a miniature brown bag with peanuts in it. That's what that gets you when they go, just relax and go home. Like, no, I want to, but it's not going to come out the way I want it to come out.

[Sasha Gray]

And exactly those words. And then adding, you know, take the drama down. I'm like, are you really gonna talk? You're gonna talk to me like that? Like, you cannot say you wanna cross someone's eyes. No, I know. It's just crazy. It's like, I'm telling you exactly. I'm telling you something very specific. And then that's how you're gonna.

[Def Frat Guy]

You're like. You're not being dramatic.

[Sasha Gray]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

Take a chill pill, man. I know. Yeah.

[Def Frat Guy]

Oh, my God.

[Sasha Gray]

Who says that? First of all, you know, people that.

[Brian Bishop]

Are not successful, I find, are very detail oriented and want you to take a chill pill and let's.

[Def Frat Guy]

I've heard, keep your pants on.

[Sasha Gray]

Oh, my God.

[Brian Bishop]

It was a hot day.

[Sasha Gray]

No, you know what's the. You know what's really rude is when there's like, one person and then somebody says, or maybe even two, everybody calmed down, and you're like, everybody. And it's just so awful, condescending.

[Brian Bishop]

So the moral of the story is there is a way to do this without being bitchy. On the other hand, and there's a reason why you are who you are and why your things come out the way you want them to come out. And that's because you're detail oriented.

[Sasha Gray]

Exactly.

[Brian Bishop]

All right. Sherry's Berries. Love these guys. You want to get a gift for mom? Giant freshly dipped strawberries delivered from Sherry's Berries. Starting at just $19.99. That's a savings of over 40%. Or you can double your berries for just 10 bucks more. Click on the microphone, upper right hand corner. Use the code Ace. Big, beautiful berries dipped in white chocolate, milk chocolate, dark chocolate, topped with chocolate chips and decorative swizzles. And nuts. I mean, it's all there. It's Berries B E R r I e s.com berries.com. click on the microphone, top right hand corner, type in ACE. And by the way, the deal expires Friday at midnight. So let's order now. And this just in my new book, President Me. We're going to auction one off, I think. And what we're going to do is we'll sign a copy like we did with Ball Brian's book.

[Adam Carolla]

What a great idea.

[Brian Bishop]

It's a great idea.

[Adam Carolla]

Fantastic idea.

[Brian Bishop]

And the money will go to fund anything. So we can save podcasting and you can listen to Rob podcast and we'll keep it all free. And we're going to fight the patent trolls and you can go to ebay and search President Me and you can bid on an advance copy. It's actually, there's two on the planet thus far. I have one in my hand, so I shall sign it and we'll put it up on ebay. And the money will all go to the legal defense fund. So thank you in advance and please have it kicked the shit out of Paul Brian's book. Otherwise, it's not my ego, it's. He's going to be fucking intolerable if.

[Def Frat Guy]

Insufferable.

[Brian Bishop]

Insufferable.

[Adam Carolla]

I mean, worse than I am now.

[Brian Bishop]

Much worse.

[Adam Carolla]

Much worse.

[Brian Bishop]

Much possible. All right, let's do some news with Allison Rosen.

[Allison Rosen]

Yes, the news with Allison Rosen.

[Brian Bishop]

She'll read some news from her I've had. Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad.

[Sasha Gray]

It's Allison.

[Brian Bishop]

Allison. And when it's time to wrap it up, she'll sign it off with Zipit Cunt. It's all a son, Allison.

[Def Frat Guy]

All right, so Barbara Walters interviewed V. Stiviano, the woman that we've been hearing so much about in the Donald Sterling scandal. The V. The V. Now, Adam, you've been so busy doing your movie and just being busy, I don't know how much you've. Have you been following all of this? Did you see the footage of her with the visor and the roller skates and all that?

[Brian Bishop]

No, I keep hearing about that. I got into a spirited argument with David Allen Greer about it on set. It was very. You can only imagine what side everyone took. I said, I think it's. I think he could fight having his team taken from him or sold from him because he was illegally tape recorded having a conversation, and then he's got to sell it. And Dagg was like, that's bullshit. And I sort Of, I agree. What he said was bullshit. I don't know that legally, if he chose to fight it, if he couldn't.

[Def Frat Guy]

I was asking Garagos what the legality of this is, and I can't remember what he said. I mean, I think he said that he's gonna make out like a bandit financially. Well, yeah, I feel like he. Of course he's gonna. Of course he's gonna sue.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, he has. I mean, here's the thing. He has a couple things. Like, they go, well, there's a code of conduct. But if you go over. That was a kind of a cool thing where I said to Dag, Dag, look, if you read the rules in terms of how they can take a team away from you, they can take a team away from you if you're not showing up at a game or you're doing something like that. But this isn't really in the rule book in terms of taking a team away from you. Like, you recorded were recording saying horrible things, but you're secretly recorded. Yeah, it's not in there.

[Adam Carolla]

Specific rule to draft.

[Sasha Gray]

If he knew that, then he wouldn't have had that conversation. I don't know.

[Brian Bishop]

It's kind of. It's kind of like, you know all those Disney movies where the mule kicks field goals and the guy's like, there's nothing in the regulation where it says a donkey can't kick a field goal. That's like, I guess no one thought of that. But I would think that he could probably mount with the money. He has a fairly spirited legal defense that says, this chick recorded me, did something that's illegal, recorded me without, especially in the state of California, talking to a guy who did crank anchors for a number of seasons. I know it's illegal to record people. We had to go to Nevada. That's why whenever I want to have damning conversations with people, I always tell them, they meet me at Circus Circus.

[Adam Carolla]

Meet me at Prem. I want to have a conversation.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, we're going to. Yeah, we're going. Yeah. You know, we don't have to go all the way.

[Adam Carolla]

No, no, no, silly.

[Brian Bishop]

We'll just. Yeah, we'll stop it like Whiskey Pete, and we'll have a super conversation where you talk into my sleeve. Either way, I said, if the guy wanted to mount a defense and say, you can't take this team away from me over a secretly recorded conversation, and they'll do this thing where they'll go. The lawyer will start off with, it doesn't matter what he says. It doesn't matter whether you agree or you disagree or how offensive it was. You can't do this. I bet he could.

[Def Frat Guy]

I don't.

[Brian Bishop]

But I don't know if he's gonna.

[Def Frat Guy]

I don't. I have heard that he knew he was being recorded, and Gary's saying that. Is that for sure, though?

[Brian Bishop]

He admitted that he knew that he was being recorded when he said all that stuff. He admitted that to the NBA, but he did not intend for it to come out publicly. That certainly that part was illegal.

[Def Frat Guy]

Whoever she said that she was hired as an archivist to record things because he was forgetting.

[Brian Bishop]

He is. He has been recording, like, hundreds of hours of himself because he's getting older.

[Adam Carolla]

And he's forgetting things.

[Brian Bishop]

So he's getting it played back to him. Either way. Recorded with his knowledge, but not dispensed or dispersed or put out. Shared with tmz.

[Sasha Gray]

Yeah, either way.

[Brian Bishop]

Look, I think, again, I'm just approaching this like an alien. I think if from. From Planet Legal Zoom. I bet if he wanted to fight for it, he probably could win his team back. I don't think it would do him any good. He'd be a pariah. Coaches wouldn't want to coach for him. Again, this is my utopia.

[Def Frat Guy]

That's my saying. I mean, even though I agree with what's happened, there's part of me that feels like, doesn't he have the right to say, how can you take this away from me just because you don't like what I said?

[Brian Bishop]

Well, yeah, I think he does. And in my utopia, it's this. He keeps his team, and then he picks the number one player out of college, and he's probably a man of color, and that guy refuses to play for the team. And then you get your justice. And he's unable to have a competitive team because no African American or. And. Or white guy wants to play for this guy with his despicable opinions.

[Def Frat Guy]

Although, isn't this kind of the market responding because no legal action has been taken? It's not like a court said he had to lose the team. It's that the. It's that, you know, it's all private. That decided to.

[Brian Bishop]

What we have is. What we have now is somebody says something everybody universally says, well, that's despicable. And now actions must be taken. And because everyone needs to take actions now, what happens is if you're the president of the NBA or the commissioner of the NBA or whatever, you own a radio station and one of your AM guys says something despicable, you're like, the reality is I don't think anyone really truly gives a shit about anything. But if somebody says something horrible and now everyone's looking at you, you go, oh, I gotta get rid of this person. Because then I will be the despicable one if I don't move. And. Or I will be a hero if I do act on it. And now that's kind of where we're at now, whether it's legal, who cares? I gotta make a move. All eyes are upon me. We're in the middle of the playoffs. I have to make a statement, and my statement can't be nothing or look the other way and keep going. That's what I'm gonna do. And that's what they did.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes, but if Donald Sterling was a beloved figure, people really liked him. They would have figured out a way to keep him or to punish him or to admonish him as opposed to saying, you're out. I mean, he was reputedly a disliked person, so I think they needed an excuse.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, but even, and it's happened before, I think even if you were somebody who may have had a decent reputation and may have been around for a while, if you said something that was hate speak and the society and the media jumped on you and then we all looked at your bosses and said, Paula Deen, Paula Deen didn't, at least in the media have a rich history of discrimination. Everyone loved. I don't know, she looked at like everyone's sort of chubby aunt who did all the baking. And then this came out and then everyone just went like, we gotta get rid of her.

[Sasha Gray]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

And you know, my feeling is this. These people that say despicable things, something should be done. On the other hand, let's not let the mobile sort of guys literally with torches running out going, something needs to be done today on this person's team or their career or whatever it is, because they need satisfaction immediately. I just don't think we need to snap to judgment.

[Def Frat Guy]

If it hadn't happened, the team that the. Brian, you're going to have to step in because I'm trying to talk about sports. The team that the Clippers was supposed to play in the playoffs wasn't going to play. Right. Did you hear that?

[Adam Carolla]

I did not hear that. They beat the warriors in a seven game series in the seventh game.

[Brian Bishop]

There was a rumor about that, that Golden State was going to refuse to play. Right. And the Clippers were too, and they were just going to both forfeit. Right. And. But I don't know. I Mean, because at some point someone said, think about the fans. What about Billy Crystal? He's not. He's not getting any younger.

[Adam Carolla]

What about Frankie Mooney? What's going to happen?

[Brian Bishop]

Billy's hair is getting younger, but he's not getting any younger. So somebody's got to step up and play this game.

[Def Frat Guy]

So anyway, Barbara. Barbra Streisand has nothing to do with this. Barbara Walters sat down with Vistiviano. A lot of stuff was discussed.

[Brian Bishop]

Great.

[Def Frat Guy]

Here's just a couple clips where she's discussing her relationship. I don't know, Adam. I don't know if you know that. Her lawyer said that she's not having a romantic relationship with Donald Sterling.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. Then he added, I'm fucking gonna. I don't know.

[Adam Carolla]

But there's no romance.

[Brian Bishop]

Do these people ever disappoint when they give their answers?

[Def Frat Guy]

Oh, they don't.

[Brian Bishop]

No, they never do.

[Def Frat Guy]

She certainly did not disappoint with the roller skates and the ridiculous visor.

[Sasha Gray]

I mean, the visor was gigantic.

[Def Frat Guy]

Yeah. Covered her whole foot. There, there. Oh, here's some photos of her, which you can [e-mail] the visor. She's trying to make the visor a thing.

[Brian Bishop]

So she said.

[Def Frat Guy]

So anyway. Yeah. So here she is discussing their relationship.

[Sasha Gray]

Are you in love with Donald Sterling? I love him. I'm not sure. That's what I asked. Are you in love? No, I'm not in love. You love him, what, like a friend? I love him like a romance. I love him like a father figure. Like a father. I love him like. Just like a father figure. Donald Sterling is in his 80s. You are in your. Yes, I'm 31. And you're a beautiful young woman.

[Brian Bishop]

I'm older than your combined age, so.

[Sasha Gray]

I'm not sure that I understand the relationship. Well, I'm Mr. Sterling's personal assistant. Like I said, I'm his right hand. I'm his wingman. What is in there to understand?

[Def Frat Guy]

Well, and then I think we have another clip where she. Right. Yeah. Here. Just talking a little more.

[Sasha Gray]

Sterling should apologize. Absolutely. Did you discuss this with him? Yes. Will he apologize? Only God knows.

[Brian Bishop]

That's the answer I always like.

[Sasha Gray]

Can you tell me what your relationship with Donald sterling is? I'm Mr. Sterling's right. Right hand. Arm man.

[Brian Bishop]

That's where the nervous story comes from.

[Sasha Gray]

Everything. I'm his confidant, his best friend, his silly rabbit. His what? His silly rabbit. His silly rabbit, yes. Is that what he calls you? No, I call myself. I joke around and I make him Laugh.

[Def Frat Guy]

Enjoy that.

[Adam Carolla]

That was the perfect follow up question. His what? Yeah, that's a great follow up question.

[Def Frat Guy]

And he doesn't call her that. She calls herself that.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, makes him laugh.

[Def Frat Guy]

She's his right hand arm woman.

[Brian Bishop]

It's awesome. All right, so no one ever disappoints. And by the way, the reason I'm really invested in this story is I was supposed to be on 2020 last week and I forgot about it. But I did one of those. They did it with John Taffer about bar rescue and they did like, here's the tricks for the bar guy and here's how they stiff you at the bar and here's the moves they do. And Stu. And they did one with me a few weeks ago. It was going to be for 2020, but I just been so busy, I forgot about. But then people started tweeting me, oh, tonight about contract.

[Def Frat Guy]

Catch. Contract.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Sasha Gray]

Did you just not show up?

[Brian Bishop]

No, I didn't. I taped it. I don't know when Gary will figure out. Yeah, they came here and we taped it. And then somebody told me, oh, it's on tonight.

[Sasha Gray]

Oh, gotcha.

[Brian Bishop]

And I was like, oh, cool. And then they said, this is kind of funny. Then they were like, like V. Stiviano and Barbara Walters are sitting down for an exclusive on 2020 tonight. I went, oh, well, that'll be great ratings for me. Then I found out it meant no ratings because I got bumped.

[Def Frat Guy]

But it will still air, right?

[Brian Bishop]

I'm assuming. Unless somebody else's right arm hand man.

[Def Frat Guy]

Someone else's silly rabbit is back in the news.

[Brian Bishop]

Sells out another NBA owner. Yeah, it'll probably, I don't know, next week or the week after that.

[Sasha Gray]

Getting bumped for that.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, there's only so many teams.

[Brian Bishop]

The great news about me and how I'm wired. I don't care about anything. It's really weird. Like, I didn't care that I was gonna be on and then when I found out I got bumped, I didn't care about that either.

[Sasha Gray]

But that's a better story, right? Getting bumped is a good story.

[Brian Bishop]

Mine's what you call. And the home improvement stuff, those are what you call evergreens. But floozies talking about being the right arm hand man. And silly rabbits, they're like snowflakes. That stuff goes away pretty quickly. Yeah, that's fruit fly.

[Sasha Gray]

Yeah.

[Def Frat Guy]

Also, she said that she was taping. So there's. Yes, there's this claim that she was hired as his archivist to tape him because he's becoming forgetful and they wanted to keep this stuff, so that's why she was recording him. But then she also said that she was recording him because she wanted to play it for her friends, because she's been wanting to leave him, even though they're not going out. And her friends or people say to her, why would you want to do that? So she wanted to show them what she's dealing with. That's another claim for why she recorded him. But she says that she is not the one who released the recording to tmz, but she has an idea of who it might be. What do you think?

[Brian Bishop]

I think you get what you want, and if. If there's a recording of you in that mix calling Magic Johnson the N word, then it never gets out. And if there's a recording of your boss and the guy you want to get back at or whatever, then it does get out. So I don't know if she released it herself or she released it to one of her floozy friends and said, you go ahead and do it. So technically, I didn't do it. All I know is, in life, if you have something at stake and you don't want something to get out, things magically don't get out. When you don't have that skin in the game, then things magically do.

[Sasha Gray]

But it's also so easy on iPhones and iPads and everything. You know what I mean? Like, you record it, and it's just like, in two seconds, it could end up on Instagram. I mean, it's just like. It's easier than. I mean, it is, you know? Like, it can be.

[Brian Bishop]

There's plenty of times when people take the selfie and then it gets out. You know, titties in the mirror. Yeah, whatever. Whatever it is that I understand. Like, this sort of. I had a couple of cocktails. I tried to send this to my boyfriend, and instead I sent it to all my followers or whatever that is. The Anthony Wiener story that I get. It's Weiner that I get. But this one feels like.

[Sasha Gray]

But it could be like she may have just texted, emailed one person, or, you know, I mean, yeah, who knows? But, you know, it's.

[Brian Bishop]

Anyway, she did not disappoint at all, did she?

[Def Frat Guy]

No.

[Brian Bishop]

Good. All right, let's bring it home, baby.

[Def Frat Guy]

That's the news. I'm Allison Rosen. Zip it.

[Allison Rosen]

That was the news with Allison Rosen.

[Brian Bishop]

Ah, pro flowers, man. You got to take care of your mama. You got to get her proflowers. One dozen roses, rainbow roses, free glass vase, 19.99. Or you can get double the roses and you still get the free glass vase. Just 9.99 more. So under 30 bucks. Two dozen. What's that, like 20 roses? No, no, no, no. More than that.

[Sasha Gray]

No, two dozen, 24.

[Brian Bishop]

24 roses. Under 30 bucks. Use my code ACE. Get the special price on your Mother's Day order while supplies last, guaranteed to last a full week or your money back. So with those kind of prices and lasting over a week, well, you can do the math on that. Even if I can't. Go to proflowers.com. click on the blue microphone, top right hand corner, type in ace. Deal expires Friday midnight. So let's order now. Pro flowers, baby. Robin, her podcast. Robin Anton podcast.

[Sasha Gray]

I'm learning so much from you, by the way. You are right now. Just the whole thing, you know, like the everything.

[Brian Bishop]

Normally we have to rap, but keep going.

[Sasha Gray]

Okay. No, I am. I mean, I love doing the show, and I. You know, I came around into my world because I like to talk and I like to just.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, you have pretty good relationships.

[Sasha Gray]

Yeah, exactly.

[Brian Bishop]

You know, a lot of a listers.

[Sasha Gray]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

And you can get them. I mean, half them have shake. Shake their ass on your stage. Right.

[Sasha Gray]

I just have this way, like, the other night, I guess I met Selena Gomez, and the first thing I said was, like, she said, I love your outfit. It was at the I Heart Awards. And I said, thank you. You should be a guest. Pussycat doll.

[Brian Bishop]

Right.

[Sasha Gray]

And it opens it up and she goes, oh. And then I go, I say, you know, it would be so fun. And she goes, if I could just do. If I could do buttons. And I say, you're in. You're done. Good. We're doing it. So, like, things like that, I'm just good at doing that. But it's not like I do to every single person, you know?

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. I've met you twice. You've never asked me to dance.

[Sasha Gray]

Well, I was just gonna ask you.

[Brian Bishop]

Mm.

[Sasha Gray]

You could be, you know, have these, like, sailor guys. Yeah, that's, you know, it's that real. Yeah. Like, you wear, like, the cigarettes up and rolled up in your sleeve.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Sasha Gray]

And you're, like, drinking beer, kind of, you know, like, you know, that guy smoking cigarettes. Not dirty. Right.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Sasha Gray]

So that could be you. And then, like, say someone like, you know, Carmen Electra. Yeah, Right.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Sasha Gray]

Is doing her thing.

[Brian Bishop]

Now we're talking.

[Sasha Gray]

I mean, there's all kinds of babes that are going to be doing the next installment.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, the podcast can be found on itunes and Also at the podcast one new episodes every Tuesday. Website robinanton.com US Phoenix and Pasadena and Irvine doing live shows all over the place. And check that out and me in New York for the book coming out. So pre order that if you will, we'll get to number one on the New York Times bestseller list. So until next time, Dan Kroll for Robin Anton. Yeah, Allison Rosen and Ball Brian. Say it. Mahalo. I do hair, man. That's what I do.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, there's adam Kroll Show 1318. Hope you enjoyed that chunk with Rob and Anthony coming for our final click today with Adam Kroll show 1332 featuring Sasha Gray, David J def frackey 2014.

[Brian Bishop]

Hope you guys enjoy. Hey, it's Adam Karl from the Adam Karol show. Bet Online is the world's most trusted betting platform and your number one source for online betting from the earliest odds to in game live betting. BetOnline provides you with all the action and the ability to watch and bet on games as they happen with the largest selection of odds on everything from football, NBA and college basketball as well. BetOnline has NHL, MMA and championship boxing. All your betting needs in one place. Head to betonline today to get in on the action with America's most trusted site for online wagering. So have some fun. Make these games and these events and these combat sports a little more interesting with Betonline Bet Online. The game starts here. Good to see Allison Rosen.

[Def Frat Guy]

Hello, Adam Crowell. Did you really forget for a second how you start the show?

[Brian Bishop]

Why did I not do it?

[Def Frat Guy]

No, you did it right. But you sounded confused.

[Brian Bishop]

No, just tired. Okay, Matt Fondelier is here.

[David J]

What a boss.

[Brian Bishop]

Bald Brian is doing something that we couldn't afford, which is what he does. But he'll be with us tomorrow and defrat guy is coming in just a few minutes. We'll do some JVR all balls. I brought Matt in because Matt and I spent the last week on the road. You guys should know and I should thank you guys for bearing with us and with me. So I did the movie that was 20 days of straight on through and then the book tour and so on and so forth and then the audiobook and blah blah, blah. So we were doing slightly abridged shows and then we had guest hosts and we were trying to get on the schedule. We were trying to figure out a way to shoot a movie and be on the road and do all this st and also keep the podcast going. So we had to tweak things a little bit. But now we are back to our old and usual schedule. So thank you guys so much and thanks so much to the folks that came out and came to the signings, the book signings and the Mangria and all the shows and everything. And so many sons turning their dads onto the shows and daughters turning their moms onto the shows and all that. All coming out and all being very gracious and warm and friendly. So thank you for the support and thank you for coming out. Matt is on the blower there because he was with me every step of the way. So I thought he's gonna, he's gonna help me, help remind me.

[David J]

It was a great time.

[Brian Bishop]

Cue me for some of this stuff. Sure. I think started off at my house about 5:55 last week on a Tuesday or something. Correct.

[David J]

Yep. Felt good. Had to get you the copy of Road Hard for you to watch on the flight.

[Brian Bishop]

Yes.

[David J]

Awesome.

[Brian Bishop]

Matt. Had to. There's nothing worse than having to be somewhere in the 5ams and but on the way there you have to stop off and do a little business. It was fine.

[David J]

I thankfully lived very close to the studio so it was no big deal.

[Def Frat Guy]

And the studio was open for you? I guess they would be open at that time.

[David J]

Allison, I got keys.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. Really? Really.

[Def Frat Guy]

Oh, this studio.

[Brian Bishop]

I don't have keys but Matt does and it's the truth. And so Matt got the string out of Road Hard so I could have the 2 hour and 15 minute version of it to watch on the airplane digest a little bit.

[Def Frat Guy]

So if anyone walking by notices, they see you watching your own movie.

[Brian Bishop]

I thought of that for a while because obviously your seat partner always just kind of takes a glance over. I find myself watching like if it's the Bourne Identity or something, I will watch the other person's entire movie while listening to Graham Parker in my earbuds. It's a weird way to go, but I'm like, oh, here's the part where he kicks his ass. Oh, here's part where he jumps the car off the bridge. You know, like I'll watch it. I don't, I don't. It's intrusive a little bit, but it's not like they're home movies or something. It's just a Matt Damon movie on his.

[Def Frat Guy]

He's so close on a plane, it's right in front of you anyway.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. But yes, somebody had to watch me watch me the entire movie, the entire flight. So Matt hung out. We landed in dc, ran into Eric Stromer like getting off the plane, like just ran into him. In Washington D.C. totally surreal. Just bumped. Just banged into our good friend Eric Stromer walking off the plane. We then went on a bunch of book signings and so on and so forth. Matt and I made some time to get some German food and some Polish food.

[David J]

So good. You always talk about needing to have that kind of food when you're on that coast because you just can't get it here. And I'm from here too, so it was really a treat.

[Brian Bishop]

Matt had never had cabbage before.

[David J]

It was like a burrito filled with stuffed cabbage.

[Brian Bishop]

Called stuffed cabbage. Whatever.

[David J]

It was good.

[Brian Bishop]

So then we went down to Washington D.C. and I was going to talk to a bunch of junior congressional whoevers about this patent trolling business. We had this lovely. We had this moment on the way in. We had the driver who used to conduct tours. Once a tour guide, always a tour guide, I would say, you know, especially when you're driving and there are people in the car who aren't from the area, you can't flick that switch off, you know. And we stopped. We're right in there in the. I don't know, the main mall where all the big buildings are.

[David J]

Yeah, it was right near like the Supreme Court and Capitol building.

[Brian Bishop]

Certain point we stopped at a red light and it was that thing where it's like his bumper and front tire was in the intersection, but he didn't make it to the halfway point of the intersection. If the intersection. The crosswalk, I should say. If the crosswalk was 8ft wide, he was 3 foot into it and against the right curb. And which I realize, I do all the time. I rarely stop behind the first line. I'm sort of past the first line and into the second line, but very angry. Young galaxy. White woman, 30, would you say?

[David J]

Yeah, sounds about right.

[Brian Bishop]

Was on her like mountain bike and was like coming the other direction. She was wearing a helmet, looked like she'd ridden a bike before and stuff. And she stopped and she looked at all of us and she was like, whoa, what's up? And we're like, I don't know what is. What's up? You know? And she's like, what, what? What? And she's like pointing at our car.

[David J]

And the driver's not moving the car because he's just as kind of petrified as we all are.

[Brian Bishop]

But we're not doing. He stopped at a light and she's supposed to be crossing, but she's not. She refuses to cross. She instead wants to know why the car's one tire into her crosswalk. Which is otherwise empty. And she says, whoa, like, what am I supposed to do? Like, you know, those people are just fucking pre insulted. And how does the rest of her life work? How does everything go? Because this is three strangers in a Denali. One of them is wearing a suit. That's the guy's driving the car. And we're literally stopped at a red light. And you have a huge beef with us and massive beef. And we have no, there's no other relationship we have with you in your life. It's not like, well, we just teamed her and finished with a bukkake and then we all high fived and left her apartment. We've never seen you before and you're screaming at us.

[David J]

And it wasn't a crazy inconvenience either because it's not like just a regular curb. Like it's sloped down. I think there actually is a picture of the height of the curb that we were blocking.

[Def Frat Guy]

Only there was a way to turn the wheel on a bike.

[Brian Bishop]

Her whole thing was like, what's up? And the driver was like, just go. Just go ahead, just ride. It wasn't even really, even a go round move. It just kind of go in front of us and cross. And she was like, the curb, meaning they first off, they put those things in there for handicapped people. The little dip, the little run up the driveway that goes onto the curb. Remember when curbs used to just be curbs? And then they put the handicap thing, but this curb was five and a half inches high. It was this high. So it was the height of a double burgered in and out. Literally. She's on a mountain bike. She literally could have just either rode off it or pushed off it or just went on. I don't know where the issue was, but she was screaming, screaming at us. There's a picture. I told Matt, you can go to AdamKroll.com and take a picture.

[David J]

We have a couple different angles of this very difficult terrain.

[Brian Bishop]

Gary's always going to show you the least satisfying one at the beginning, but that's the crosswalk. There's a curb, and then 4 inches worth of nothing.

[Def Frat Guy]

Yeah, I mean, it almost looks like less than 4 inches.

[Brian Bishop]

I don't even know what. No, she's. There's. There's a good shot. There's a nice definitive shot. She's screaming, screaming at us, Screaming. Also, what happens when something real happens in this person's life? Like what happens when somebody wants a divorce or somebody got caught cheating or somebody got shorted on their taxes or Like, I mean, it wouldn't be funny.

[Def Frat Guy]

If it's the exact same response. That's her only response.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, you don't get much bigger than what we.

[David J]

Plus, what are you doing screaming at a black car with tinted windows? You don't know who's in the passenger seat.

[Brian Bishop]

That's the whole thing. It's like, what if we're just some fucking rappers trying to get some street cred and I just come out with a Glock? Like, what? There's three dudes averaging average weight, 204 pounds, like, sitting in this car with the smoke windows like you're screaming at them. You're just one chick on a fucking mountain bike. Anyway, that felt super good. Then I went in and spoke to the junior congressional people about the patent rolling and what a scourge it was. And they promised me how they had bipartisan support for this bill that was going through. And then we got in our car to go to Richmond, Virginia, and an hour later the phone rang. It shot down. It's gone. Like that scene from Goodfellas. What happened? Leahy got rid of it. Why? It's done. It's gone. Moving on. The great thing is when Leahy shot it down, he's like the congressman from Vermont. He was like, we all agree there needs to be patent trolling reform and patent reform. We all agree this is a very important issue, just not this time around.

[David J]

I think it said, we'll readdress this next year.

[Brian Bishop]

Right? Right. I'm going to let the Trial Lawyers association and Big Pharma and by the way, big colleges all fucking run amok. And the guys that are paying for my reelection and paying for my last election, well, I'll let them get another year and then we can come back and read. They're also fucking bought and paid for. It's absolutely insane. It's fucking insane. Everyone just goes. Even they go, oh, well, we got a problem here. We just. There's nothing we can't do anything about it. People have sent me a few articles on it, but it's pretty simple. They have people that contribute a lot of money to their campaigns that don't want this patent form or this patent trolling reform. They don't want it because they make a bunch of money.

[Def Frat Guy]

You feel like it was a done deal before you even went there.

[Brian Bishop]

Our government is becoming brazen now. I feel like they used to do things a little more quietly and it was a little more of a back room kind of move. Now it's just like now. I don't know it's supposed to be important, but yet now, but again. And this notion that you can have special interest groups just go up there with sacks of money and get their way, even though it hurts most Americans, doesn't feel quite right to me, but. So it felt nice to spend, get yelled at by the cunt and then spend three hours over there on Capitol Hill doing nothing and then just fucking drive to Richmond and find out like he just shot it down.

[Def Frat Guy]

How does that work when you're speaking on Capitol Hill? I mean, has someone asked you questions or are you.

[Brian Bishop]

This is barely that. This is just me in a room talking to junior, junior, junior junior assistants of junior junior senators. I didn't even know what it was, Matt.

[David J]

Well, you were telling your story. Supposedly they were all supposed to vote on this bill. So they have the language that the bill's written in. But Adam has his own business and he could really speak from his own experience to show how these patent trolls actually affect the business. But ultimately, as Adam said, they were like, well, this bill kind of encapsulates a little too much. We need to think about it a little bit more. So it just kind of was for nothing. But you can go to funanything.com patentroll get us here on the pirate ship.

[Brian Bishop]

We'll fight the battle ourselves. So again, if you think Congress is going to help, fucking keep holding your breath, everybody. They are fucking bought and sold by the Trial Lawyers Association. All right? When we're walking through Minneapolis after eating Polish food, ran into a homeless guy who said, I look just like Adam Carolla. I want to know if I ever got that before.

[David J]

If only he knew.

[Brian Bishop]

That was kind of funny, you know, you've arrived when the homeless recognize you.

[Def Frat Guy]

I wonder what he knew you from.

[Brian Bishop]

I don't know. We're just walking across a bridge is where you expect to encounter homeless people. And he said, anyone ever tell you you look just like Adam Carolla?

[Def Frat Guy]

What'd you say?

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, it happens all the time. And then we talked for a while and we wanted to know where he'd get some water, stuff like that.

[David J]

There's some restaurants down there.

[Brian Bishop]

And we talked about how to pronounce the restaurant, all that kind of shit, and then he went on his way. But he never even did a double take or anything. He just kind of, just kind of stuck with it. Had a nice cute moment with Matt. Matt, go behind you and flip the switch on for the air, would you, please? Getting a little warm in here, Matt. Got to experience a first hand. My insane Schedule and he was starting to come undone. By the time we got to the Mall of America and Minneapolis, he was getting tired. And then we watched Godzilla together.

[David J]

It was awesome.

[Brian Bishop]

And then he was really getting tired. But we didn't have. It was the first time we didn't have crack a fuck flight the next day. So when we got back to our hotel, which was our first nice hotel or was certainly one of the nicer ones we'd been at, I'd been at in a while, and it was attached to the Mall of America, I said, there's a nice bar on the way out. So I said, why don't we stop, have a little night cap and just enjoy ourselves for a change instead of running all over the place. Date night with Matt. And we sat down and Matt got a diet Coke and Jack. Hell yeah. I got a glass of wine. And then almost out of my movie. Because there's a scene in movie, there were a table of six cougars over at the end getting drunk. Girls night. Girls night out. Getting drunk. Had to come over there, take a picture, blah, blah, blah. And it was nice. It was a little bit. At a certain point I just got. They didn't know how tired I was, but I just sort of said, like, I gotta go back to my table now. And when we got back to the table, they bought us around, which was nice. But I could see Matt. Matt was starting to fall asleep while he was talking. I could feel his head. Til he was starting to tip over. He was nodding.

[David J]

I made the mistake also of doing the whiskey, which I know is my nightcap drink. And obviously not expecting a second round. So when that second one came down, I wasn't even done with the first. That was.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, he was a little bit rough. He was coming. He was coming undone. He probably hit a saturation level with me and my stories and pontifications because we've been sitting in the back of town cars in the back of driving from D.C. to Richmond and sitting in airport bars and just, you know, he probably. Probably had about enough of me at the time, but literally falling asleep while I was talking to him.

[David J]

Well, we just finished watching Godzilla, which was about 30 minutes too long in my opinion. Very complex story for us to discuss. So, yeah, I was getting. It was getting a little late at that point.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, I was doing round number four on Bryan Cranston's hair and what the fuck? I'll get to that. Gary, I can't believe you didn't say anything about Cranston's hair in that movie. It's insane. I felt really disappointed that I had.

[Adam Carolla]

Ruined the whole Cranston thing for you in the first.

[Brian Bishop]

Okay. So I didn't want to go any further, but it was insane. I agree. Okay. All right, then, let's see what else? Oh, we had this one. We had a. When we were doing our signing outside of Chicago somewhere in Illinois, we had a cop there, and he was a young, ambitious, eager guy. He was a huge fan. And he said, I'm going to give you a police escort to the signing with Richard Roper. To the book. To the book. We're having a little confab with Richard Roper and a few people in the audience. And I don't know, what was it, 30 miles away, 25 miles away? Yeah, we.

[David J]

We were running a little bit late to the signing, so we could use the extra time.

[Brian Bishop]

All right. But I said, now, I don't know how many people are wired this way. But I said, we don't need a police escort. And he said, no, no, no, it's cool. And I said, are you going to be stopping people like, hey, you can't get on this road because I got to go. And Adam's got to go because I don't want that. Listen, I drive through red turn arrows all fucking day long, but it doesn't hold anyone else up. If it held somebody up, if me, red arrows meant somebody had to wait for the signal to cycle, I wouldn't do it. I don't like taking cuts, so to speak. So this guy's like, no, I'll just put on the rollers and I go out in front of you, and the driver just follows me. And we're like, okay, all right, let's do it. Let's get a police. And he fired up his siren and got his rollers going and hopped out in front of us. And we're. We got about 250 yards down the road. And Matt said his jurisdiction is only about half a mile, so he's got to pull over. And he pulled over, and then we're just on our own for the other 25.7 miles. Like, he escorted us out of the parking lot, essentially. He didn't tell us that his shit ended. It was funny because it was one long straightaway with no signal. So it was like, we really.

[Def Frat Guy]

They should tell you that we didn't.

[Brian Bishop]

Get anything out of it because it was just like us getting on a straightaway and going anyway. Except we did have to wait a couple extra seconds for him to get out in front of Us. There's a little confusion.

[David J]

There was that moment though, I looked at you and I was like, this is it. This is the best it's ever gonna be. Like following behind the police escort.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, that's great. Driving. Driving to. Or driving to Plainville or whatever the fuck it. Wherever the fuck it was. All right, Matt, any thoughts? I'll tell you what, think about your thoughts. I'm gonna tell you guys. One night only. Comedy has never seen a night like this. Spike TV's one night only. It's an all star comedy tribute to the great Don Rickles. That is Tomorrow, that is May 28th. That is the biggest names in entertainment all together at the Apollo Theater. And they're going to pay tribute to the original insult comic, Don Rickles. Jerry Seinfeld, David Letterman, Jon Stewart, Tina Fey. Holy shit. Amy Poehler, Tracy Morgan. And it just keeps going and going and going. Our own Jimmy Kimmel is going to be there. Johnny Depp, look out. Robert De Niro, Martin Scorsese. All there. All for one night only. Don Rickles. Wednesday, May 28, 9pm Only on Spike. All right, any parting words?

[David J]

Well, I'll just say first of all, you have an unbelievable fan base because even when we drive out to towns that seem so far away way, it's really incredible to see how many people show up regardless of what the event is. Book signing, Mangria. It's really incredible. Also just my own first hand experience. Adam's the hardest working person in the world and part of the way he's able to get through that is he's always thinking 10 steps ahead. And I think that to me was something that I learned in the planning of the trip. You know, working with the publicist, like you have to really be ready for any number of things down the line. Case in point, having an in town photographer helps speed the line along. Just little things like that help. If you plan for it well enough, it can actually go pretty smoothly. Because I thought the trip actually went really smoothly.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, it did. We had no real issues. Matt was a delight. Oh, thanks. And this man can spoon. All right.

[Def Frat Guy]

Who was the inside spoon?

[Brian Bishop]

Matt's always outside. He's the spoon holder. He's the tray that goes in the drawer. No, he's the insert that goes inside of the drawer that keeps them separated. All right, dfg, Defrack guy coming in. Matt walking out. And def frac guy is in here. Good to see you. Dfg. Oh, he's got a natty lion. What's up, man?

[Dawson]

Dude, how you doing good? It's been a long time no see.

[Def Frat Guy]

Hello, hello.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, good to see you.

[Dawson]

Hell, yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

You got some JV all balls. I know you've been traveling around. You're sort of the Mangree ambassador now.

[Dawson]

Dude, I was up in Washington doing the Mangria event last weekend. Memorial Day weekend, dude. Place is chill, dude. They love. They're big fans of the show. And I knew it was like, first thing I get off the plane, some dude's like, hey, did anybody ever tell you you sound exactly like that Frank guy?

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, yeah. Same thing happened to you. No, I'm saying it happened to me when I was in Minneapolis.

[Dawson]

Hell, yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Dawson]

That's the way they roll up there. They're nice, you know, like, dude, I get off, I see these dudes freaking two jeeps, 25 miles per hour. Two bros in there. They look like chill dudes. Pass each other through the fist bump, dude.

[Brian Bishop]

Wow. Fist bump. Cheap to Jeep. And they didn't even know each other.

[Dawson]

I think they may have.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, they may have known each other. Yeah. But still, that's chill.

[Dawson]

That's the way they are up there.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Dawson]

But that people did love the product. I learned a lot about Stan sales. Yeah. Like, first thing I would call in, like. Like, when a new customer comes in, I'm like, oh, here come the new victim.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Dawson]

And the dudes, like, call them potential customers.

[Brian Bishop]

Right?

[Dawson]

You know, client. But I learned not. Don't say, you know.

[Brian Bishop]

Right. Don't say victim. Yeah.

[Dawson]

And then the other thing was, like, I was trying to maybe, like, impress ladies. Something like, the bros had floral notes, melon titled. And it had just a hint of act stock temptation. And they're like, maybe don't say that. Like, describe. It's a body spray, bro.

[Brian Bishop]

Ax.

[Dawson]

Yeah, But I'm like, it's got a good smell.

[Brian Bishop]

Right. But don't call the stuff axe. They're gonna be drinking it. Yeah.

[Dawson]

Like, it tastes like a chestnut or some shit.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, right, right. No, you started good with the citrus and the notes of plum and the floral, but then the axe part probably screwed people up.

[Dawson]

And then I was like, you know, they're like, where does it come from? I'm like, it's like varietals made from grapes and shit. And they're like, hell, yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. All right. So you got everyone sort of caught up on Mangria?

[Dawson]

Pretty much, yeah. Well, wait.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Dawson]

Oh, I just wanted to give a shout out to Wine Styles in South Riding, Virginia. They're carrying the product now.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, good. They Got the mangrove.

[Dawson]

Hell yeah. Vienna Vintner in Vienna. You ever gonna find yourself in Vienna, Virginia?

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, I've seen it all the time.

[Dawson]

Yeah, go to Vienna Vintner. Buy Mangria, because now they stock it. And then parallel bistro in Ashburn, Virginia.

[Brian Bishop]

They have it too.

[Dawson]

Parallel bistro, right.

[Brian Bishop]

Do you have some JV or All Balls for us?

[Dawson]

Hell yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

I don't know. We used to have music for that, didn't we? Oh, yeah. Brian would play it.

[Def Frat Guy]

Yeah, it's with Brian. In that fancy place.

[Dawson]

Yeah, There's a lot of shrinkage going on. One of them with my theme song.

[Brian Bishop]

Dude, try.

[Dawson]

Okay. Dude. Okay, here we go. This will be easy because all two of us, three of us. Okay. Wearing sage while taking a dump.

[Def Frat Guy]

Wearing sage shade shades.

[Dawson]

Oh, so wearing sunglasses while taking a dump.

[Brian Bishop]

Uh huh. Well, let's say at home at the beach, you know, at the airport. You know what I mean? Because if you're at home, it's kind of weird, right? But if you're on the road, maybe trying to keep a little anonymity.

[Def Frat Guy]

I say, who's in there? Seeing you though.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. I say JV seems very, very bizarre to me.

[Def Frat Guy]

I'm going jv because you need your eyesight.

[Dawson]

All balls.

[Brian Bishop]

It's all balls. Why?

[Dawson]

Hell yeah. Because it shows. It's like that, you know, like that little dog with a safari hat and the shades. It's like, dude, it's just bad. It shows like, I don't give a F. Right.

[Brian Bishop]

Okay, 0 for 1.

[Dawson]

Okay. Taking a leak while jogging backwards.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, yeah. Running backwards and taking a leak. Yeah. You don't know how. That's what the dude did.

[Dawson]

That meatball up the middle, bro.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Def Frat Guy]

But still, I think that's all balls. Because you wouldn't get any on you. Because you're going back.

[Brian Bishop]

You think you wouldn't get any on you. It's possible to get some on you, but I still think it's all balls.

[Dawson]

Hell yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Dawson]

This is kind of a hard one. Riding your tent speed with your hands locked behind your head like you're about to be serviced by a lady.

[Brian Bishop]

Every once in a while. You do see that guy, like going down the strand, you know, with his hands, his fingers. Which is weird because if you keep your fingers intertwined too long and your hands get a little dry, sometimes it's hard to bust them apart for a beat. And then, you know, if you see something coming at you like a dog that got off a leash or something, you're screwed. It's a power move. It's a show offy power move. I do like it as it pertains to oral sex. I'm going to say all balls.

[Def Frat Guy]

This one is challenging. I can really see the balls and the JV side of it. I'm going jv. It's just a little too much. Unless there actually is someone servicing you while you're riding. That'd be all balls.

[Dawson]

You just take this question is mind.

[Brian Bishop]

Wow.

[Def Frat Guy]

This is the first.

[Dawson]

It's like, dude, you're riding the bike, dude. Okay, look. By no hand. It's not like, look, ma, I'm getting some road hand while on the bike, right? Hell yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

All right.

[Dawson]

Okay, what. What about. Okay, what about taking a shovel to the head?

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, you mean like like that video where that poor girl got a shovel thrown at her?

[Dawson]

Yeah. Or just in general.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, just in general. So maybe not connected to that. Okay, now we talking about flathead, spade, snow shovel.

[Def Frat Guy]

Same question.

[Dawson]

Not snow shovel. Anything that's used to dig dirt. It can be galvanized, but it's got.

[Brian Bishop]

To be a thicker gauge shovel.

[Dawson]

Wood handle.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. So getting hit by a shovel in.

[Dawson]

The hand, taking it to the head.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, I say that's. That's jv, right?

[Def Frat Guy]

I totally jv.

[Dawson]

It's all bald. Dude.

[Brian Bishop]

What?

[Def Frat Guy]

Huh?

[Dawson]

This means that you. You have to have scars. It's like, you can't be always the ass kicker.

[Brian Bishop]

Like a gang initiation. Like if farmers had a gang.

[Dawson]

No, just like, dude, people like. Like, they're like, dude, I got stabbed. Here. Here's where I got shot.

[Brian Bishop]

But then.

[Dawson]

And you're like, dude, here's where I took a shovel to the head.

[Brian Bishop]

Right.

[Dawson]

I think it's all bald.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, you may be right.

[Def Frat Guy]

Let me put it that way.

[Brian Bishop]

If you survived and once you get your speech back and stuff like that, you're going to be glad you got that scar.

[Dawson]

Hell yeah. And then I got two more. Then we. This comes from a dude I met up there. Chill, bro. Rich from Mucotello Watten. He just wants to know if it's JV or all Baldu. Have your stomach pumped.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, stomach pumped. Yeah, there used to be a lot of that Rod Stewart. Rod Stewart had to get his stomach pumped. Yeah. Because he drank what, couple gallons of semen?

[Dawson]

Yeah. Beer, Whatever. It was whiskey. I don't know.

[Brian Bishop]

No, no, he drank.

[Def Frat Guy]

It was jizz.

[Brian Bishop]

It was jizz.

[Dawson]

Oh, fact.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, it's a fact. You didn't know that? It was like a. It was like a Okie cookie game, but with just a barrel of cookie juice. Yeah. Just no cookies and a barrel of.

[Dawson]

Ookie Okie dokie for that. No. Whatever, dude. It's his life. It's your own life, dude. That's what I learned.

[Brian Bishop]

Right?

[Dawson]

You have to have an open mind.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. No. All right, so, stomach pumped and then this.

[Dawson]

Yesterday, as we know, was Memorial Day. But what about dudes that like when they go out, they're like, I gotta buy those troops around the Dr. Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

No, I like that guy.

[Dawson]

Okay. All balls.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh no, no, but wait a minute. We gotta get the stomach pump over there.

[Def Frat Guy]

I think that's. I'm gonna go all balls. This shows that you are living life.

[Brian Bishop]

I'm going all balls. Just like you want to show the person the scar where you got hit with the shovel. And that was the same night you got your stomach pumped.

[Def Frat Guy]

Exactly.

[Brian Bishop]

That's what caused the guy to come after you with the shovel.

[Dawson]

Why did you get your stomach pumped? Oh, I was out buying some round of drinks for two and then I took a shovel to the head and I blacked out. Then got my stomach pumped.

[Def Frat Guy]

I want to know that guy.

[Dawson]

Oh, and then I got some road hand by a lady on my bike.

[Brian Bishop]

That's right. It's a fucking full. It's a three day weekend.

[Dawson]

Sounds like a good weekend to me. And I just wanted to give one more shout out. Dude, it's a bro named Fn. C word.

[Brian Bishop]

F and C word.

[Dawson]

He's a fan. I don't know what the Twitter, you know, Whatever dude.

[Brian Bishop]

Right.

[Dawson]

This dude's been hitting the natty ice hard lately.

[Brian Bishop]

Uh huh.

[Dawson]

He just found out that his chick has been sucking more trout than a school of lamprey eels. So dude, get better, you know, Just get on with your life. Hell yeah. He can buy. He can go on the website. Buy a new all balls T shirt.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh yeah. It's hair. Handsome. It's very handsome.

[Def Frat Guy]

It's distinguished.

[Brian Bishop]

All balls. Death.

[Dawson]

The full gamma that says if you're not planted today is.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. You go to Adam Carolla.com you can see the.

[Def Frat Guy]

See the picture of the balls with sunglasses and a hat and I think a cigarette.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Dawson]

Sometimes I'll put little like whiskers on it to make it like disguise. He didn't wax it.

[Brian Bishop]

Right.

[Dawson]

Not permanent.

[Brian Bishop]

Right. And then you have one more dfg.

[Dawson]

Oh hell yeah. I just wanted to also thank the dudes up in Washington because we started three new Delta food chapters up there.

[Brian Bishop]

Wow.

[Dawson]

Bellingham, you know that? Oh, Central Washington State University. You have one now. We got one. Fountain Hill University, Arizona. What's up, K Dog?

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Dawson]

But then. Oh, wait, here. The last one is descript. Neck tattoo that says family.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, the neck tattoo in, like, old English script.

[Dawson]

Family.

[Brian Bishop]

Right, Family. And we assume it's their family, you know, not a rant. Not that. Was there a sitcom?

[Def Frat Guy]

There was called Family with the world's.

[Brian Bishop]

Most depressing mom and Dick Van.

[Def Frat Guy]

Was it Dick Van Patten?

[Brian Bishop]

No, that was Eight Is Enough.

[Def Frat Guy]

Oh, Duo blend.

[Brian Bishop]

This was. This was.

[Dawson]

Family Guy.

[Brian Bishop]

No, that was Family Affair. Shit.

[Def Frat Guy]

We gotta figure, was there someone named Vicki?

[Brian Bishop]

No, Vicki was the robot from Small Wonder. Yes.

[Def Frat Guy]

And it stood for something.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. Meanwhile, I'm like. I was up on Capitol Mountain up there with the Congressional thingy, talking to the, you know, law folks about that place. Making the bill thing from the change for the. What you do when you try to get the law to be different, you know? Yeah.

[Def Frat Guy]

All right. It ran from 1976 to 1980. And Kate Lawrence. Was that the mother?

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. And you'll recognize that the daughter, because.

[Def Frat Guy]

That was Christy McNichol.

[Brian Bishop]

Christie McNichol. Come on now.

[Def Frat Guy]

And Meredith Baxter was on it as.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, before she was a Bernie.

[Def Frat Guy]

That's right.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. Super depressing. And mom was super depressed. All right? And it was a horrible sitcom because it wasn't even really a sitcom.

[Dawson]

But, dude, you know, like on Three's Company, those old sitcoms, Dumb of the stars, man. Those dudes would get more bearded clam than a marine biologist who specializes in pituitary disorders.

[Brian Bishop]

All right, anyway, I'm going to say Family on the neck. I'll tell you what. If you're black or Hispanic, I'll give you a pass. If you're white or Eastern Indian, no.

[Dawson]

What about South Asian? You know, Indian from India?

[Brian Bishop]

No, no, I only make a black or Hispanic. I gotta have black or Hispanic. I'll give you a pass. And by the way, I'm not gonna ask anything about the tattoo or the questions with what's going on with the family or how's the mom and the kids doing? Like, none of that.

[Def Frat Guy]

It's not the icebreaker that the person intends it to be.

[Brian Bishop]

Probably not.

[Def Frat Guy]

I mean, I'm going JV all around.

[Dawson]

I have to go jv.

[Brian Bishop]

I have to. Oh, okay. All right. You tell that to the very proud black man.

[Dawson]

Look, dude, if you love your family, go, like, take them out to Chuck E. Cheese. Don't go get a tattoo. Spend 500 bucks to get a tattoo that shows that you're not there taking after Dick. Chuck E. Cheese.

[Brian Bishop]

All right, we have an outro by the way for the def frat guy.

[Dawson]

Well, bro, bro, bro.

[Brian Bishop]

What? What? What? Wait.

[Dawson]

I'm not going to be in here with Tata.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, Sasha Gray.

[Dawson]

Okay. I meet her.

[Brian Bishop]

I guess you could go over and stand where Brian stands if you'd like to meet Sasha Gray.

[Dawson]

I just want to you.

[Brian Bishop]

I. Big fan.

[Dawson]

Explore her sexuality. A film.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, I know. You've watched. You've watched her.

[Dawson]

I want to be able to explore my sexuality on film with her or just in general? Well, I don't know, dude.

[Brian Bishop]

All right. Yeah. Do you want to.

[Dawson]

Yeah.

[Def Frat Guy]

Maybe you could vacate the absence in the world of adult film that she left. I mean, maybe you could take it over.

[Dawson]

I thought her in a porn this morning, bro.

[Brian Bishop]

No, no, I know, but she stopped doing movies.

[Dawson]

Oh, hell yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. You saw her in something. She did, you know.

[Dawson]

Yeah, I'm like the porn ethamo or one of them things for free.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, okay. Yeah, well, she's. That's how she gets rich. All right. Dfg.

[Dawson]

Hell yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

You can hang out then. Okay. Thank you, bro.

[Dawson]

I appreciate it.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, no, I worked like a dog.

[Dawson]

For you this weekend, bro.

[Brian Bishop]

No, I appreciate you having been the official ambassador for Mangria. You're my Spuds Mackenzie. Yeah.

[Dawson]

Dude, I like this new job of being the executive president.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, I don't know if that's what regional fails. Okay. Whatever you want to put on the cards, fine with me. Okay. Barkbox baby. Oh man. I got Molly girl. Oh, did I miss my Molly girl. I was gone for a week There was Molly girl just waiting for me when I got home. Took her out last night to the park with me. She loves her bark box Monthly boxes. Four to six full size products. Innovative toys and gadgets and all natural ingredients treats more. You get 20% off your first subscription by visiting barkbox.com Adam Support the small businesses like Barkbox. Love these guys. Made in the USA Every item they use. Made in the usa. High quality, safe, tested. They test them by their own dogs? Of course. They all have dogs. They're dog lovers. I'll give them to Molly. She loves her daddy. Last year BarkBox donated over $150,000 to shelters and animal welfare organization. This year they're going for 1 million 10% of all their proceeds. Help them out go to those very worthy organizations. So visit barkbox.com adam to save 20% off your first subscription. That is barkbox.comm. yes, Ace.

[Dawson]

These are dudes that bring their dogs to work.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. Mark Box. All right. Outro Music. No thank You.

[Allison Rosen]

That was JV for all Balls with Def Frat Guy, brought to you by Mangria.

[Brian Bishop]

All right, us at the Irvine Improv doing a live podcast. That'll be May 29th at 8pm Pasadena. Ice House. Coming up in June, Phoenix. Stand Up Live. Those always sell out. 20th and 21st, two live shows each night. That'll be in June, so you want to check that out. And I said may, Gary, so don't do that. All right, where else? Sasha's out there. Let's take a phone call or two and then we'll get to it. Joseph, 31, Scotland. Yes, hello. How are you, Joseph? Fine, fine. Thanks for taking my call. Thanks for calling in. What's. What's up? I just have a little problem with my sister. She's not the smallest girl. She's got a bit of a weight problem, and she kind of secludes herself away in her house and doesn't really express herself very much. And I always worry about her a little bit. And I'd always try and talk and see if there's any way to get her to open up, but she's very much shot off to it. And I was just. I don't know, I'm kind of. I'm kind of witzent trying to sort of figure out a way to try and talk to her and maybe help her and see if there's anything that may be wrong with her. You know what I gotta say? I gotta say this about women when they go and sort of turn in on themselves. They sit around and eat and cut on themselves and watch shitty TV shows, but they don't go on shooting. I gotta hand that to the ladies.

[Def Frat Guy]

Well, thanks, we'll take it.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, you turn in, meaning whatever that rage is gets turned in on yourself occasionally. You know when you're driving through the mall and your car pulls into the crosswalk? You get screamed at by one of them on a bicycle.

[Def Frat Guy]

But mainly not the mass strafing.

[Brian Bishop]

It's not the mass stuff. Right. So how old is your sister? She's 29. And why are you calling from Scotland? What are you doing over there? I've been living here for about 18 years now. Wow. So more than half of your adult life? Yes. So Madonna goes to England for 15 minutes and sounds like a Monty Python sketch. And then you've lived there since you were 14. And I can't hear anything in your voice. No, it depends on who you talk to. But, yeah, a lot of people over here think I sound Irish. Okay, all right. Does your sister have any other problems beside being introverted? Well, like I say, there's the weight thing, there's the introversion. She's had friends and things in the past, but she kind of shuns them all a little. When you say weight thing, how much of a weight thing? She's pretty big. I don't know. I don't have the exact weight, but she's pretty big.

[Def Frat Guy]

What's the first number?

[Dawson]

How many stones does she weigh?

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, that's a Scotland thing. Yeah. I don't know. I would say, I don't know. Me Personally, I'm about 15, so I think maybe round about where I am, maybe a bit more. I don't know. I never ask. They step up the boulders.

[Dawson]

15 stone, 8, 900 pounds, roughly.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. All right. So I don't know why this sounds incredibly easy and maybe too easy, but everything, to me, everything that's good that's ever happened in anyone's life whenever they've had to deal with something, has always began with a. When people just go, I just started walking, I started walking. I don't know why. Every weight loss, every coping with the death of everything starts off with a walk. Just going for walks, like, it's great. There's something great about walking. It's great for talking. Because when you go out to lunch, you think you're going to go out to talk, but you eat a lot. And then you can always tell the person that's talked the most because you look down at your plate and that guy's plate is full of cold food because he's. He's been fucking complaining about his wife the entire time. And then.

[Def Frat Guy]

And then you have to get your Polish food and to go box.

[Brian Bishop]

Right. So I would say, especially living in Scotland, you know, let's go for a walk. Let's just. Let's do a Monday morning or Sunday morning walk thing. We'll just go out and start walking and then as we walk, we'll talk and we'll open things up and she'll get her joints moving and all that kind of stuff. Plus, you can't eat when you're walking. Really. It all starts with kind of the.

[Def Frat Guy]

Antithesis of being psychologically stuff.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. And it just. It literally just gets things moving. It gets juices flowing and joints working and you talk and you reconnect and it doesn't get all preachy. And it's not like, I want you to come to this therapist and sit down with me or I need you to do this spinning class or something. Like, let's Just go for a walk. And there's really no one who can say, I can't do that. I won't do it. I can't go for a walk.

[Def Frat Guy]

And there's something really easy about talking to someone else when both of you are facing the same direction. It's less intense than when you're.

[Brian Bishop]

I can occur. Because it's like you have to go. Eye contact, Then you look down, then you look back up again. I mean, that's why DFG wears the sunglasses in the sailor's cap.

[Dawson]

And why on the first date, you start with doggy style.

[Brian Bishop]

All right. Because it's uncomfortable. Yeah. Emotionally. To be looking right at them.

[Dawson]

You're looking the same way.

[Brian Bishop]

So first date is doggy. Right. And then after that, you work your way into a missionary.

[Dawson]

Missionary sometimes.

[Brian Bishop]

Right. But usually because the sexual encounter becomes too intimate for you. You worked on. Yeah.

[Dawson]

You got to get to know her before you do start getting crazy.

[Brian Bishop]

Right.

[Dawson]

Looking at each other, you know, like you don't want to see what she's looking at.

[Brian Bishop]

Right.

[Dawson]

Maybe she's looking at you.

[Brian Bishop]

Right, right. Understood. Hey, Pierce. 26, Phoenix. Yeah, thank you for taking my call.

[Dawson]

Is your radio on?

[Brian Bishop]

No, it's not. He can't. He doesn't have a radio. We're not on the radio. Dfg.

[Dawson]

Turn it down.

[Brian Bishop]

We're not on the radio.

[Dawson]

Turn down your radio, bro.

[Brian Bishop]

He's not. We're not on the radio.

[Dawson]

Hell yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

Okay. Yeah, Pierce, we got four shows coming up in Phoenix. You come say hi? Yep. All right. What's the question? I was recently watching Last Comic Standing, and it gave me an idea of why isn't Adam Carolla a judge on one of these TV talent shows like X Factor, America's Got Talent, Last Comic Standing. I don't know. I would be fucking excellent at that job. Nobody asked me to do anything. At least that's my low self esteem version of how everything feels. I never get asked to do just about anything. I think people assume I'm busy. Which one would you choose? If you got an offer for all three of them, which one would you go on? The America's Got Talent. Which one is Howie and Howard? Is that America's Got Talent? There's America's Got Talent, The X Factor. That's Howie. That's Howie and Howard. Right. And you're such a huge fan Standing. Howard Stern is on X Factor. Howie Mandel, I believe is on Merck. That's Got Talent. And you got Russell Peters. No, no, no, no. They're on the same. They're on the same show, right? They're both on America's Got Talent, right?

[Def Frat Guy]

Yes.

[Brian Bishop]

Okay. Both those guys are super cool guys, and it'd be easy to sit in between those two guys. So I would go with the one that had Howie and Howard in it. All right, Pierce, you got your answer. Yep. Thank you. Easiest fucking gig in the world because all you do is judge. My. My wife was watching Project Runway, and I was like, am I making this shit up about Heidi Klum? She walks in there, she does nothing, and then she says, like, that vest felt pushy to me. And then they move on, and she gets nominated for a fucking Emmy. And I was screaming at Lynette. She was watching it with Natalia. I said, listen, not being funny or entertaining or witty, just talking about shit you know about in a matter of fact and sort of serious manner. It's the easiest fucking thing on the planet.

[Def Frat Guy]

That's what you think Drew does, right?

[Brian Bishop]

Yes, but, I mean, at least he has to fucking show up. I mean, if I was just like, well, you know the 3 liter, 6 cylinder Nissan motor with the single turbos, it made a lot of power, but the power came on and off like a toggle switch. But when they went with the two smaller turbochargers, then it was more progressive, so it was more like a dimmer. So it was a more drivable car.

[Def Frat Guy]

Gail, what do you think? Gail Simmons would also be on this car show.

[Brian Bishop]

Just fucking sit there and just talk about shit you know about. But never worry about being entertaining or provocative or funny or witty or fast or anything. The fuck? What's up with Heidi Klum? Like, why am I so insanely annoyed by her?

[Def Frat Guy]

Is it the way she says goodbye?

[Brian Bishop]

I don't know. I just. I don't feel. She gets nominated for an Emmy every year, and yet I feel like she does nothing.

[Def Frat Guy]

Yeah, I'm with you. She says very little, but she acts like she owns the place.

[Brian Bishop]

That's right. All right.

[Dawson]

She's stuck up.

[Brian Bishop]

She's stuck up. That's right. All right, we'll take ourselves real quick, and then we'll bring our guests in. Jamie 41, Lake Tahoe. Ace, man. What a pleasure. What's going on, man? And, Allison.

[Def Frat Guy]

Hello.

[Brian Bishop]

I just. I just realized I forgot to mention to the call screener that I'm a contractor and I'm still a fan. All right, good. But my quest, my question, has nothing to do with construction. I was wondering what you think is worse between disco and today's pop music oh, disco. So much better. Because. Because especially, I mean, everyone made fun of disco. But when you listen to the Bee Gees or Donna Summer, some of that stuff, or even just OJ's or whatever it was in the disco era, there were real instruments in there and those people could sing. I mean, say what you want about disco, but Donna Summers could fucking sing her ass off. And when you hear those songs now, they sound pretty darn good. At least. At least a fuck of a lot better than the oomph robot shit that just is never ending and penetrates your brain and just. It's like someone took a badger, shoved it in your skull, and it just started eating its way out. That's what it feels like to me. So as much as people like to make fun of disco, I would reckon that when people are driving around and a disco song pops on the radio, they don't change it too quickly. And you listen to the soundtrack for Saturday Night Fever or something, it holds up pretty nicely.

[Dawson]

I don't know the music, bro.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, yeah, right, right.

[Dawson]

But look, what is better? Those boogieing and doing blow all night at a hot club or like now listen to what today's music they listen to, they use it to take selfie for, right?

[Brian Bishop]

They're taking selfies.

[Dawson]

They don't go out. Those dudes party hard in this debenies and they're having a good time doing it.

[Brian Bishop]

That's right. Sasha Gray, David J. Are both coming in dfg. You can hang out since Brian's gone and take his place.

[Dawson]

Those sound effects I don't want, but.

[Brian Bishop]

Just do them with your mouth. Oh, hell yeah, we will, Sasha. Seven AVN Awards, by the way. Dfg, that's a.

[Dawson]

That's a hall of fame career.

[Brian Bishop]

Yep, I know it really out by, I don't know, 22, 23 years of age and still up for the hall of fame. She'll be wearing that white jacket. No time. What did the math on that?

[Dawson]

Hell yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

All right, well, take yourselves a quick break. Be right back. Sasha Gray is here. She's back. David J. Is here as well. Sasha's got a podcast, by the way, Deep Tissues, which is on Thursdays on itunes. You can find that new episodes and also, how long you been doing that, by the way, Sasha?

[I]

I just started it with my friend David Guylevi, like two weeks ago.

[Brian Bishop]

But different David than David J. Is here as well. That is correct. David's got a. Well, I was going to say alma. It's got CD out. It's got. Got a MP3 out.

[J]

I see albums.

[Brian Bishop]

Yes. David, you may know from Love and Rockets, right. And I probably had you guys on Love Line a million years ago, right?

[J]

We went on about three times.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, yeah. So there you go. Yes, I know. I was always tired. Love and Rockets was out of where?

[J]

Northampton, England.

[Brian Bishop]

And is Love and Rockets still getting back together and still playing?

[J]

No, no, no. The last time we played was at Lollapalooza in 2008.

[Brian Bishop]

And that's it. Now David's going a separate. Meaning you're going a separate way from Love and Rockets.

[J]

Yeah, we've all gone in, you know, we all parted at the crossroads there.

[Brian Bishop]

The new album is an eclipse of ships and Sasha is in a video. Am I screwing this up or am I getting it right?

[J]

You're right so far. But yeah, the, the video is on. It's for a track. It's a cover version of Britney Spears Toxic and it's a sort of tangential to the album. It's not actually on the album. It's a track that. It was a. An extra track, a free download. One of those.

[Brian Bishop]

How did you guys get hooked up?

[J]

Well, quite a few years ago. I think it's about four years ago now.

[I]

Yeah, four or five years.

[J]

One of the other things I do is write screenplays and I wrote this screenplay with my partner Don C. Tyler about Aleister Crowley and I had Sasha in mind for one of the parts, Hannah Jaeger, who was his 19 year old nymphomaniac lover, German. And we met to talk about the prospect of Sasha playing this role and stayed in touch.

[Brian Bishop]

Did you know? I was just thinking about. Actually I had this thought about a porn related thought which is I just got done shooting a movie and you know during those scenes when you have to make out with your co star or during those scenes where you have to ask the person that wasn't sure they're going to have to take their top off now it was time to take their top off. It's uncomfortable. And then I thought to myself, what the hell do they do on porn sets? And then I thought, you always make fun of porn actresses, like they can't act. But if you really think about it, that's getting thrown in the deep end of the acting pool, you know what I mean? Like everything's probably fair, like doing an episode Entourage had to feel pretty good after, you know, doing an anal scene.

[I]

Somebody. Well, somebody on this that actually asked me what's more difficult, getting naked or acting? I said it's two completely different things. You're vulnerable either way. But one, it's. You have to mentally prepare for both. But they're very different types of preparation, both men, mentally and physically. So, yeah, it's, for me, something I thought about for a long time before I even started it. So going into it, I was already quite confident and comfortable.

[Brian Bishop]

We're talking about the porn industry.

[I]

Yeah. But of course, nervous.

[Brian Bishop]

How long could you have thought of it, though? You got started at 18, right?

[I]

Well, like six, seven months.

[Def Frat Guy]

But I graduated high school a lot of times.

[Brian Bishop]

Like, years of thinking, that's 5% of her life, really. Your mic's not. Mike's not. You got to get your mic on if you're gonna.

[Dawson]

These guys are killing me, bro. Yeah, I just got my first job with you.

[Brian Bishop]

You know, your mic's.

[Dawson]

Never mind.

[Brian Bishop]

He's pointing at something. Gotta push something or touch something or something like that.

[Def Frat Guy]

But Adam, is your question, which is. Here we go. Which is more difficult to make convincing?

[Brian Bishop]

No, no, no. My question is more of a statement. All my questions are really statements.

[Def Frat Guy]

It's a question about him.

[Brian Bishop]

You know, like when I say, what's up with your hair?

[Def Frat Guy]

Could you just.

[Brian Bishop]

It's not really a question. No, what I'm saying is I am fascinated. Like, it's like when you see a standup comedian and then we're just talking about Don Rickles and then you see him in a Scorsese film and you go, man, he was really good. I didn't know he had that in him. And it's like, well, if you can go out in front of 3,000 people with nothing but a microphone and do 90 minute set, I bet you could go out and do an acting role. Like where you yell cut. Or if you screw up a line. Like most. Like most standups are actually pretty good actors because. And then everyone's surprised. But I'm saying the one is harder than the other. Like, but if you could do porn, you can do just about anything. I'm not correct. I'm just limiting it to acting. I'm just talking about fucking wrestling a grizzly bear.

[J]

What about a stand up porn performer?

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. Oh, interesting.

[I]

There's.

[J]

I don't think it's ever been done.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[J]

I'm just saying there's probably a reason why it's never been done.

[Brian Bishop]

But if you could do porn and. Or stand up, I would probably say.

[Def Frat Guy]

You can do anything.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. You couldn't run for Senate unless you're in Italy.

[Dawson]

Yes, I finally got the technical.

[Brian Bishop]

Your mic's not working that well.

[Dawson]

Here's the deal, bro.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, I can hear the hardest role.

[Dawson]

In porn is the guy who had to play the cuckold.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, it's not every porn, though. That's just cuckolding porn.

[Dawson]

That's the only I watch.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, I know, but that's not all porn. That's some porn. That's probably less than 10% of the porn. All right, Dawson's trying to figure out the DFG's microphone. Yeah. Now we don't have a ton of room in the studio. All right. So, I'm sorry, where do we go if we would like to find. See this video and find the album and all that good stuff?

[J]

Sasha, David, you can go to my website, which is davidjonline.com and that's kind of the hub, so you can go from there.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. And, Sasha, people, the porn industry, do they beckon? Do they try to try to coax you back into work out of retirement?

[I]

No, I keep in touch with some people, some friends.

[Brian Bishop]

You don't have folks going, hey, I got a project. I got some real money.

[I]

No. In the first probably year and a half that I decided to quit, people would still call me and say, are you sure you don't want to do this? Are you sure? And at that point, I had already made the transition from working for several different companies to just working for myself, so. So it was kind of a slow progression out. So. No, not anymore. Not at this point.

[Brian Bishop]

Any stuff coming up aside? Any. I don't know why, but I figure you know the most about Entourage in this room, considering you're the only one in this room that's been on it. Any news when that thing's coming out? Because I'm pumped about that movie. Not quite as excited as Sex and the City, but almost. Almost.

[I]

I have no idea. I'm in the dark.

[Brian Bishop]

They were going to film in Mike August's rental property.

[Def Frat Guy]

They were.

[Brian Bishop]

He has a small apartment that's, like, outside of a studio. That was going to be their first apartment. It's a shitty apartment, but that's the whole point. It was going to be theirs. And that's about all I know. Dfg, Mike still not working?

[Dawson]

I don't know.

[Brian Bishop]

All right, now Dawson says no. All right, you guys want to do some news? We'll hang out, and you guys crack wise, and we'll have a little fun with Allison Rosen. Ooh, nice. She'll read some news from her iPad. Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad.

[Sasha Gray]

It's Allison.

[Brian Bishop]

Allison. And when it's time to wrap it up. She'll sign it off with zip.

[Sasha Gray]

It's Allison.

[Brian Bishop]

Allison. I want to thank you guys, by the way, for getting my book present me onto the New York New York Times bestseller. So we're three for three. Thank you very much for the support. All right, now you all right, so.

[Def Frat Guy]

Let'S talk about the horribleness that happened up in Isla Vista by Santa Barbara. I'm sure everyone's, you know, up on the shooting.

[Brian Bishop]

It's only good part about traveling your ass off is you miss all the shitty news stories and all the shitty things people are saying about you on Twitter and all that stuff. You're just fucking traveling so much that you just missed mostly shitty things.

[Def Frat Guy]

Do you try to catch up at all?

[Brian Bishop]

No, people catch me up, but yes.

[Def Frat Guy]

So anyway, on Friday night, this disturbed 22 year old put into action this part of this plan that he had been working on for a really long time. He wanted to get revenge on all the peoplewellspecifically, the beautiful girls that never paid attention to him, but also all the popular people who were leading lives and having sex with each other. And he felt rejected. And so he stabbed three of his roommates, killed them. And then his plan was to find the hottest sorority house and go in there and shoot it up. The one he has this super long manifesto which you can find online. He mentions a specific sorority in that one, but that'si don't think that is the one that he went into. He actually never made it into the sorority house. He knocked on the door, but then he turned and the people in the sorority house like were able to see him shoot two young women and kill them. And then he shot. He went to a deli and shot someone there. And then he was driving around in his BMW shooting at passersby and eventually he shot himself.

[Brian Bishop]

I'm gonna have to have this fucking horrible conversation with my 7 year old twins one of these days. It's gonna be like, listen, sweetie, don't blow off guys that are weird because they're gonna come back to the school and then they're gonna start looking like, be cordial, but don't give them hand jobs or anything, but like, be cool to them so you don't make their weird fucking list that pops up on the Internet.

[Def Frat Guy]

People are making a lot about, you know, what he says about how his whole life he's been rejected and ignored and all this. Yes. However, I feel like that's taking. Trying to parse his insanity through our rational minds. It's like in my opinion, it's the same as if someone shoots up a building and is like, I'm hearing voices, I'm Jesus Christ. And it's like, let's talk about what that means. Like, this is the rant. This is insane. He also. He never even really approached women. It wasn't like he got rejected. He just felt that they should have been throwing themselves at him because he was superior.

[Brian Bishop]

No, I mean, obviously he's fucking nut bag. I'm just saying this weird thing where I'm going to have to tell my son, like, be popular, but not too popular. Play sports, but don't excel at them. Just be kind of middle of the pack. If you see a guy in a duster with some listening to the Cure, don't piss him off, but don't hang, you know, don't do drugs with him, but don't piss him off. Like, compliment him on his leather duster and his eyeliner and then move on. Like, just be a fucking friend to everybody. So when the guy does show up with the hunting rifle that everyone's cool or you're cool. Like, it's so bizarre.

[I]

A lot of people keep circling back to bullying. I think the other thing is this generation doesn't seem to teach their kids even how to handle bullying. And not saying that bullying is right, but it's going to happen. So you're not. People aren't giving their kids a backbone to kind of stand up and say like that old saying, which is ridiculous but true. Like, sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me. I feel like that hasn't been taught to this generation.

[Def Frat Guy]

Well, he clearly.

[I]

And that's just a small part.

[Def Frat Guy]

He had no internal reserves. I mean, he. In his super long manifesto, he talks about. I think. I don't. It was somehe breaks it up into hisindi his years on the earth. Like from zero to five at some birthday party, someone cut the cake and gave the piece to a friend of his first and he cried because he felt he should have gotten it. And I mean, he had no ability to deal with just the basic shit that happens in life. But in this, when something like this happens, the question is always, well, what happened to the parents? Where were the parents parents in this situation? They were trying to do something. He uploaded a series. So first of all, he's been in therapy since he was 8. He had teams of therapists at one point, seeing therapists almost every single day. He was uploading a series of videos where he was talking just about what he was going through. Ultimately, he uploaded a video right before he went out and did the killing. And it was a call retribution. But anyway, his mother saw these videos sometime in April and was alarmed that he was going to hurt himself or other people. So she called the cops. The cops visited him and talked to him and then thought that he was polite and fine and then left.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, look, until somebody invents some sort of krazometer where you can take a drop of someone's blood and just see if the needle gets pegged or not, there's just no way. Because first off, we all know, we all know people act crazy and never hurt anybody. And then we all know people that are very subdued and quiet and then they snap. And then every time you hear about one of those serial killers, oh, he was a clown and he ran the boy scout troop and he was a pillar of the community. And we started finding the homeless kids bodies underneath his underpinnings of his house. Like, we don't know anything about this topic. We never did. We can never figure anything out. It really would be nice if we could, but we can't. So this thing where it's like, well, the parents knew something was up, but how many do you know? How many people you know? It's scary, but when you get older, you start having friends who have teenage kids and they start telling you about all the problems their teenage kids are having, having, or you hear them secondhand through your wife or whatever it is. And they're all fucking horrible sounding stories. Like they're weird about how they had to send him off to some sort of camp somewhere for five months up in the mountains to get his shit together. And he's passive aggressive and he threatened his mom. It's like, because it's your friend's kid, you go like, oh man, that's a pain in the ass. But then when this shit pops up on the news, then you go, oh my God, someone should have done something. I'm not doing something about my friend's kid. I'm just hearing that everyone I know is a teen who screwed up.

[Def Frat Guy]

The alarming thing it points to is that maybe we can't prevent these kind of things because we really don't know. It's so easy. Like when I was watching the videos or actually when I was reading the manifesto, he mentions at a certain point that his he was upset because his parents brought home a puppy for his sister. And my thought was, oh, I wonder if he's going to hurt the dog. Because I know that serial Killers tend to. And then I thought, wait a minute. All this stuff that I think that I know, is that based on movies or is that based on fact? Like here, this is a killer that we're looking at. And I keep comparing, I keep thinking how it doesn't match up to the profiles that I've read of what these people are supposed to be like.

[Brian Bishop]

Dfg? Yes. Listen, you got a microphone that works well, how come this microphone doesn't work, though?

[Allison Rosen]

It was working five minutes before we started.

[Brian Bishop]

I don't know what he does.

[Def Frat Guy]

You just tell us and we'll repeat it.

[Dawson]

Douchebag.

[Def Frat Guy]

Okay, this guy was a douchebag.

[Brian Bishop]

You're saying he was. Okay, I agree.

[Def Frat Guy]

But then the other thing is, you know, there was a time in this country where a husband could have his wife institutionalized and lobotomized because, you know, because she had postpartum depression or because, for whatever reason, people, you know, people didn't have. Or people who had mental illness or who were accused of mental illness really didn't have rights. And so now we're. The pendulum has swung the other way where it's really hard to get someone committed. I don't know what the answer is, but we obviously don't want to go back to people with mental illness not having rights.

[Brian Bishop]

Here's what I think is going on. I really do believe that we as a species are meant to be sort of running scared a little bit, in a constant mode of running scared. And what I mean is we need to go gather wood. We need to go get some. Like, where's the food? Where's the wood? We got to start a fire. Uh, oh, it's going to rain tonight. Where's the shelter? Like, we're at constant. We need to be moving and up. And, you know, every. Just about every point in history, up until about 10 minutes ago, it was a constant. I gotta go to work at the factory, I gotta go to work at the coal mine. You gotta go milk the cows, you gotta go make the. Whatever you gotta do.

[Def Frat Guy]

Why do I always have to milk the cows?

[Brian Bishop]

Because I'm working a fucking coal mine. Be dead, a black lung, and you'll be fucking my best friend in the next two years. But there was a constant like, hey, man, the sun's up and you gotta get out of bed and you gotta get going. And now you don't really have to do that. We're at a point where people are sort of. A lot of people, they don't have to get up and go anywhere. Most of these kids, if you really sort of take a look at the one through line, I think for a lot of these kids, kids, it's too much fucking time. Like, oh, he played seven hours of video games every day in his basement. Like, well, you just didn't have time for that shit. Even though it didn't exist 50 years ago, but you just couldn't. Like there was wood that needed to be chopped and fences that needed to be mended. And it was like you're just going. And then at some point you come home and you're just so fucking tired. All you want to do is eat your stew, study by candlelight and go to bed. Giving people, especially young people, especially young males, vast amounts of downtime is horrible for young males. When you're 15, whether you're from the inner city or with no direction, with no direction, you're joining a fucking gang. When you're of privilege, then you're just fucking doing drugs and making manifestos. Like taking 16 and 17 year old boys and going, you gotta, you got about 20 hours out of the day free to do with what you like. It's all Internet porn and manifestos. Like, it's just, you're in video games.

[J]

It'S videos and that's what desensitizes.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[J]

And that becomes a reality. And there's a thin line between the real.

[Brian Bishop]

I agree.

[J]

And that stuff.

[Brian Bishop]

I agree. I'm not, I'm not one. I'm not the one who's like, oh, we got outlaw. You know, I'm no Tipper Gore or whoever's into that. But what I'm saying is playing a game for seven hours a day where you're holding a pistol in your hand and shooting people and getting extra bonus points for pregnant women or whatever it is, is not helping.

[Def Frat Guy]

Well, they count as two.

[Brian Bishop]

They count as two. You're not helping the cause. So women for some reason don't have this. Like I said, literally, you give them too much time and they'll cuddle up with a tub of Haagen Dazs and just cry into it. But they're not going on fucking killing spree. Young men, it's true.

[Def Frat Guy]

So true.

[Brian Bishop]

Young men with lots of time on their hand, it never hands. Once in a while you get a fucking Steve Jobs out of the mix, but not very often. And that's why we formally had the military and organized sports and all kinds of shit. And the more time that a 15 or 14 to 19 year old male has on his hand, the bigger piece of shit he's got.

[Def Frat Guy]

But let's just talk about the case of this particular kid who has been in therapy since he was 8. Was there any saving him? I mean, do you think with tasks all day that would have changed anything?

[Brian Bishop]

I do, I think. I mean, like, honestly, I don't know. But if when you're 17, instead of going off to UC Santa Barbara or wherever, I don't know if you're in school there. All right, worse going to, which is a beautiful college. And okay, couple things. I know a lot of guys who went that route because I'm from here. They're like, I don't have good enough grades to get into UC Santa Barbara, but I still want to go party with a bunch of people from Santa Barbara. So I'll go to the city college, which is beautiful and on the water, and then I'll party every weekend in Isla Vista with the people and I'll say, I'm going to college out in Santa Barbara and no one will ask me for my credentials. What if this kid at 17 had become a Merchant marine? I mean, or a Marine Marine? I mean, I just feel like you're just. When the sun comes up, you gotta get to work and when the sun goes down, you're so fucking tired from what you did all day, you just crack out on your bunk.

[Def Frat Guy]

I mean, if we are taking him at his word, which I don't think we should, but if we are, then being in this beautiful place with beautiful people partying all the time was making it that much more poignant how alone he was.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, I'm just, I just feel like When World War II broke out, a whole bunch of 17, 18 and 19 year old males just went into basic training and got shipped overseas and that's just what they did. And if you would have left those same guys stateside to play video games and do whatever, whatever prescription drugs or non prescription drugs and watch as much, you know, Walking Dead as you want to watch or something. I just feel like it rots your brain. I know as a guy, when I was 17, I needed to be busy.

[Def Frat Guy]

So here's what he wrote about what happened when the cops came to check on him. And they didn't do anything or they didn't catch because he already had this. He was already putting this plan into action. The police interrogated me outside for a few minutes, asking me if I had suicidal thoughts. I tactfully told them that it was all a misunderstanding and they finally left. If they had demanded to search my room, they would have. That would have Ended everything. For a horrible few seconds I thought it was all over. When they left, the biggest wave of relief swept over me. It was so scary because he had all these guns and the ammo stash.

[I]

Not a wellness check, is that.

[Def Frat Guy]

That's what I'm wondering. But I'm also wondering are cops the people who should be doing these checks.

[Brian Bishop]

Also the final victims? The cops he just threw under the bus like everyone knows the two guys who rolled out on under that call. Sam and Frank's got to be like, oh, Sam and Fred had done something more, my kids would still be alive today. Now they have to fucking live with that shit because his manifesto is all over the Internet. Think about that guy.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah, here's the thing too. The, the police officers in Isla Vista, California are not there for great detective work. They are cops who have fucked up in the California highway patrol system. They get shipped out from wherever they were to Isla Vista as punishment for being a bad cop elsewhere.

[Brian Bishop]

This is really helping their case. So say, I'm afraid you hold your head.

[Allison Rosen]

What I'm saying is you can't blame it on these. These are horrible cops in the first place.

[Brian Bishop]

You should be an attorney.

[Allison Rosen]

I'm just telling you, your honor, my.

[Brian Bishop]

Client was too drunk to rape and he was tired of raping so he couldn't have raped her that night.

[Def Frat Guy]

But also I heard that Santa Barbara has something like 16 beds for people who are being put on involuntary holds as opposed to the 70 that is average or that they're supposed to have or something like they just, they don't have the manpower or the room or the funds or the resources or the desire to really throw anything at.

[Brian Bishop]

But it's like one of those movies too. It's like, yeah, this is a party school. It's a bunch of fucking frat guys getting drunk and pissing in the front lawn and getting indecent exposure or whatever. And they, they're used. That's what they're kind of trained for. Not.

[Def Frat Guy]

I know, it's just if a mother calls and says that she's worried that her kid is going to hurt himself or other people. I wish that somehow held more weight.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, Mal.

[J]

But also it's strange that if his parents were so aware they, they didn't realize that he got an armory in his bedroom.

[Def Frat Guy]

Yeah, I mean there's none of it bought legally.

[Brian Bishop]

There's a certain point where dad's just gotta fuckin put on his daddy pants and go over there and go, I'm going over that guy's pad I wanna look around.

[Def Frat Guy]

His dad, who was a. Was he second ad. He was. He worked on Hunger Games in the industry. But the parents, who were divorced, were both on their way to Santa Barbara as it was happening because they saw the final video that he uploaded. He was careful.

[Brian Bishop]

They were alerted by the psychologist. Right.

[Def Frat Guy]

Or somebody said the man, he sent the manifesto to a bunch of people, his parents and one of his therapists. His therapist called his mother and then she looked at the videos and then they called 911 and then they were like, on their way to Santa Barbara when they heard about a shooting and wondered if it was him.

[Brian Bishop]

Sad. Sad but true.

[Def Frat Guy]

So we have a couple videos. So the father of the boy who was shot at the deli has been speaking to the media. He's outraged. He's upset about gun. Lack of gun control. Whether or not you think this is part of the discussion or not, his interviews have been very moving and we have a couple of them.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, let's just watch one. I'm getting depressed. Why did Chris die? Chris died because of craven, irresponsible politicians and the nra. They talk about gun rights. What about Chris's right to live? When will this insanity stop? When will enough people say, stop this madness? We don't have to live like this. Too many have died. We should say to ourselves, not one more. Thank you. That's it. Sad.

[Dawson]

Who's he blaming?

[Brian Bishop]

Gun. He doesn't like the nra.

[Def Frat Guy]

Lack of nra. And then in the other one, which politician.

[Brian Bishop]

I think the kid was a factor. You know, the kid who shot his kid, but not the overwhelming one is Smith and Wesson.

[Def Frat Guy]

All right, well, the other one, which we don't have to watch, but what he says is, why didn't anything change after Sandy Hook? You know, I had my son. At least I had my son for 20 years. These parents only had their kids for six years. And who's even talking about them anymore? What's happened, you know, what's happened to them?

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, it's a fucking mess. I don't. Listen, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know where to begin other than. And look, you're not. Here's the deal. X amount of this is going to go on. It's not going to be eliminated. There's just enough human beings, enough guns, enough nutty people, enough whatever psychotic thoughts. It's just going to be X amount of it. Now what we can do is sort of deputize people. You know, wake up everyone around everyone in the Community, sort of like they do with terrorists. You know, you see somebody set a duffel bag down in a trash can and then look to the right and look to the left and then run away, call the cops and tell them something might be in that duffel bag. Like, once everybody in the community, teachers, friends, neighbors, family members, once everyone gets sort of deputized to look for this stuff. I mean, honestly, I don't know how big a loner the guy was. I mean, medium or large, but either way. Did he have a friend?

[Def Frat Guy]

I don't think so.

[Brian Bishop]

They're like, literally not a human being, a roommate.

[Def Frat Guy]

He had a shitload of therapists, but.

[Brian Bishop]

Just somebody to go, hey, I'm coming over and I want to look under your bed. I'm worried about you.

[J]

That kind of awareness that you're talking about does happen, but it only happens, like, for a week or two weeks after the event. And then human beings get.

[Brian Bishop]

Or maybe it's prevented a whole bunch of shit that we don't even. We're not even aware of because it never comes over with. You know what I mean?

[J]

In those two weeks after.

[Brian Bishop]

No, I just mean. I mean, in general, who knows? It's like, how many terrorist attacks were thwarted because somebody said it never made the news? In other words, you know what I mean? Like, how many of these things are thwarted? It's a weird word. How many of them are prevented because somebody does something like this and gets the person somehow help or get some on the right meds or whatever? I don't know.

[I]

But how many continue to happen where it's, you know, one person dying or two people dying, like you said, in an inner city or south side Chicago, like, these things happen.

[Brian Bishop]

Yes, of course.

[I]

All the time.

[Brian Bishop]

So it's. And I don't know, you know, it feels. It feels like a new thing, but it also could have been going on 50 years ago, and we never. It never. It didn't feel like what it feels like now with the 247 news site. I don't know what the body count is. I don't know how it goes, but certainly sad. And it's weird. And I was just talking to a mom who was talking about a kid killing themselves at the local high school by just jumping off the roof during school hours, like while his girlfriend was practicing softball. It's also fucked up and weird now. All right, Anyway, it's a good thing I had twins. Legal zoom, baby. America was built by innovation, innovators, dreamers like Thomas Edison, Henry Ford. Those guys are entrepreneurs. They're all around us. They're like you, man. And they use Legal Zoom. They celebrate, by the way, innovation by helping you launch your dreams. You can apply for a patent, you can secure your invention, you register your trademark, protect your products and services, incorporate form an LLC, launch your business. Just visit legalzoom. That's legalzoom.com you can get personal attention. They'll help you take care of all the details. They've helped over a million businesses get started, right? They got a A plus from the Better Business Bureau. Legal Zoom.

[Allison Rosen]

Dawson, celebrate innovation with Legal Zoom today and get a special price on trademark copyrighted provisional patent applications by using the referral code. Adam at checkout. LegalZoom provides legal help through independent attorneys and self help, but they're not a law firm.

[Brian Bishop]

All right, let's do another Kanye and Kim got married.

[Def Frat Guy]

And New York Post covered it in a funny way. It said, alert, parentheses, yawn. Kim. Yay. Weds two jackasses got married in Italy. Saturday. Sex tape star Kim Kardashian wed egotist Kanye west in a wedding opulent enough for Florence's Medicai dynasty and tacky enough for reality TV. They were betrothed at Florence's 16th century Fort de Belvedere castle. Olympic athlete Bruce Jenner walked Kim down the aisle. The republic still stands.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, I can't figure out whether we're supposed to hate them or not. The Kardashians are starting to piss me off. Kanye's one of these guys. I don't know enough about his work and I'm too square. So I don't want to just go, what's he ever done? And then just be like the whitest, oldest, squarest guy on the planet. When people know hip hop music, explain to me all the shit he's done and what a genius he is.

[Def Frat Guy]

I mean, he interrupted Taylor Swift, that I remember.

[Brian Bishop]

So he's got that going for him.

[Def Frat Guy]

Oh, is that.

[J]

Is that a good record?

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, there you go. She made good records.

[J]

Quite innovative there.

[Brian Bishop]

See, there you go. So I don't want to be one of those douchebags. He loves himself some him. But then we kind of like that about him, right?

[J]

Well, he's, you know, he's a hip hop guy. They're all like that.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, but how much of, like, how? I can't figure out, like, how much is calculated. Like, I think she's making made like $15 million. Or at least that video that she made with Ray J made like 15 million over the last, I don't know, seven years or something like that. How much did she want that to come out? Was she thinking about it when she shot the video? How does that go?

[I]

Absolutely.

[Brian Bishop]

You say yes. What do you know about that business? The voice of authority. You're a video actor. Yeah. She knew what she was doing. That can't come out if she doesn't want it to come out.

[I]

In this generation? No. Maybe in the 80s and early 90s when there were sex tapes that were leaked. Those were real accidents. And then people saw a formula that they could kind of copy and use for publicity.

[J]

Maybe she oversaw the editing.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. What did she do? I mean, what. Do you know anything about this or how?

[I]

I just know that for a company, especially a company like Vivid, which is one of the largest adult film companies, you have to have a 2257, which is a model release for an actor to get naked or have sex on camera. That has to be signed or it's illegal.

[Brian Bishop]

Right. Would her argument be. Well, once it got out there, it's going to be out there, so we may as well make money off of it.

[I]

But she got paid.

[Brian Bishop]

But she was paid. Aren't these people's arguments. I believe you, but aren't these people. Argument isn't. Their argument is, oh, it was all over the Internet.

[Def Frat Guy]

I may as well talk from it, too.

[I]

People would live up to it. I wish they would say, yep, I did it.

[Brian Bishop]

So let me.

[I]

I think it would make the world so much easier and I would have much more respect for it.

[Brian Bishop]

Let me play whores advocate for a second. She would say, well, it was already out on video. It was already on the Internet, So now it's already out there. Well, then I should get paid for it. So that's why I signed my 227. Remember that sitcom, 207? Yeah, yeah. But that was funny because I had the really sassy black woman on it.

[Def Frat Guy]

Jacket.

[Brian Bishop]

Jacket.

[Def Frat Guy]

And the lady from Sesame Street.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, really? All right, so you're saying. But see, you're saying she signed that agreement, so you have to. I mean, but she could have signed it after the fact because it was already going to be out there.

[I]

That's true, but I don't know the specific details, but it could have been stopped.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, I knocked over your tablet. Sorry. She wanted it stopped so they could.

[Def Frat Guy]

Have sued, and then it would have been what put back in the.

[I]

Yeah. I mean, basically, what part of what the 2257 form does is to verify that people are 18 and over of legal age to perform.

[Brian Bishop]

Mm. All right, so you Figure she was in on it.

[I]

Yes.

[Brian Bishop]

Okay, I like that. Although it kind of ruins it for me.

[Def Frat Guy]

You think it was her, or was it her mom? Well, doesn't that what everyone thinks? That her mom is the one who's pulling all the strings now?

[Brian Bishop]

Is her mom that skinny dude with the ponytail I see walking through the airport on tmz, or is that somebody else?

[Def Frat Guy]

Where'd it go?

[I]

All over my jeans.

[Def Frat Guy]

Okay. Yes, yes, yes.

[I]

I don't know. Yes. I don't know.

[Brian Bishop]

All right.

[Def Frat Guy]

All right.

[I]

I just wish people.

[Brian Bishop]

So they're getting married.

[Def Frat Guy]

They are married.

[Brian Bishop]

All right. I'm sure it'll go on forever. And then. Is that all part of the. Is that all part of it, too? I am so insanely naive when it comes to this sort of thing. Like, if Kanye married a civilian, that wouldn't have been good for business, right? I mean, wouldn't have been. I mean, if Kanye's sort of in the business of being Kanye at this point, and she's in the business of being Kim, right?

[Def Frat Guy]

Yes.

[Brian Bishop]

So. Which is weird, because it used to, in order to be a celebrity, you had to have a business. And that business would be making movies or making albums or whatever it was. But now you can just sort of be in the business of you overall as a product. And so this is part. This is a bigger part of the bigger plan, which is combining the brands. Right, Right. And we're making the traveling wheelbarrow of regular super. The Honey Dippers or Drippers or whatever.

[J]

They were more like a business merger.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, whatever. What I'm saying, it's a business plan, Right?

[Def Frat Guy]

Well, it does seem that way.

[I]

Does that mean it's not love?

[Brian Bishop]

That's true. But still, neither one of them. Would either one of them ever be with a civilian? I mean, like, would he meet his dental hygienist?

[J]

How can we all.

[Brian Bishop]

And fall in love?

[Def Frat Guy]

I doubt it.

[Brian Bishop]

The answer would be no. Right?

[Def Frat Guy]

Seems unlikely.

[Brian Bishop]

Right. And then he also couldn't hook up with the straight version of Jodie Foster. Meaning he couldn't.

[Def Frat Guy]

I want to figure out who that is.

[J]

But then there can be different kinds of calculated, you know, marriages. I mean, Michael Jackson, you know, I'm saying Jennifer.

[Brian Bishop]

Jennifer Aniston, let's say.

[Def Frat Guy]

Who went like, no, I was thinking maybe Vera Farmiga.

[Brian Bishop]

That's who I'm thinking of. What I'm saying is, like, let's say you hook up with someone who's famous, but they're like, no, I'm not gonna walk down every single red carpet with you. And I'm not going to Fashion Week in New York. I'm not going out to be seen all the time. I'm famous.

[Def Frat Guy]

He needs a fellow fame whore.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. I have a craft. I'm doing a movie in Canada for three months, and that's what I do. But I don't go walking down everything and go to every opening. Do you know what I'm saying? Right.

[Def Frat Guy]

Yeah. It wouldn't work if he were to have chosen a thespian like Jennifer Aniston.

[Brian Bishop]

That's right. One of our finest. Mm. All right, next story.

[Def Frat Guy]

Oregon State Police have charged a 19 year old for reckless driving after he caused a three car collision. Apparently, he fainted because he was trying to hold his breath as he drove through a tunnel.

[Brian Bishop]

Wow. Maybe wasn't getting his way because I've done that.

[Def Frat Guy]

Four people, including the driver, were injured in the crash. But here's the thing. I've never done this where I've decided I'm gonna hold my breath as I go through a tunnel. But I think this is a thing that people do. Do you know people who do this?

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, yeah.

[Def Frat Guy]

Why?

[Brian Bishop]

It's good luck. Is that what.

[I]

Obviously not.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, there are certain weird little ocd. There's weird little things that you do. You. You honk your horn sometimes. Sometimes you put your hands on the.

[Def Frat Guy]

As you go through a tunnel or just if you go through a yellow.

[Brian Bishop]

No, no tunnels. A horn honk and that. And I think you should be saying.

[J]

But I do not. You.

[Brian Bishop]

One does one. When one does. One goes. No, there's the. There's a few things you do as a kid going through the tunnel, but holding the breath is right up there.

[I]

Never heard of that one.

[Brian Bishop]

Never heard of it.

[Def Frat Guy]

No, I've heard of it. I've just never done it.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, I've done it.

[Def Frat Guy]

I also know plenty of people who, if they're watching a movie and a character is underwater, they'll hold their breath for the duration of the character being underwater to see if they can do it.

[J]

I've done that.

[Def Frat Guy]

Oh, yeah, There you go.

[Brian Bishop]

There you go. Mm. So he did it. And then once you go down this path, then you don't want bad luck, so you got to stay with it.

[Def Frat Guy]

And he stayed with it and then he fainted. See, it'd be better if he. Go ahead.

[Brian Bishop]

I know we're making fun of this guy and we make fun of people like text and get in accidents and do stupid like put on makeup, you know, get an accident or shave and get an accident, but how about how is it that we give people who fall asleep behind the wheel a free pass? Like, I've talked to a lot of people, and it's like, what happened? Well, I was driving home, home from Vegas, and it was really. And I was tired anyway. I fell asleep behind the wheel. I went in an oncoming lane. I ended up waking up in the hospital. And everyone's like, oh, my God, are you okay with it? No one goes, what? What kind of colossal fucking douchebag falls asleep while operating a motor vehicle? And then I realized it's insane that I'd say fully one quarter of this country is capable of falling asleep while driving a vehicle at 75 miles an hour. Hour.

[Def Frat Guy]

I only did it once.

[Brian Bishop]

I'm saying, like, falling asleep in front of the TV or falling asleep, like, during a lecture or on a train or something, but while you're the one who's actually piloting the vehicle. And then they go. Then they try to make it better. They go, well, the other person I was riding with was sleeping, too. Oh, well, that's. Well, now, sure. Why don't you just climb.

[J]

I went for a route, canal down in Tijuana. My friend was a dentist down there. He's actually a member of Nortech Collective, which is an interesting electronica group based in Tijuana. And Ramon is. Ramon is also a dentist.

[Brian Bishop]

You're getting a ton of, like, music street cred right now.

[J]

Yeah, well, yeah, he's my dentist and he doesn't charge me, and he's a very nice man. And anyway, so I had this root canal. He gave me some. Some medication, and I had to drive up from Tijuana to El afterwards. And I said, ramon, is this okay? Because I'm driving. Oh, yes, David, it's fine.

[Brian Bishop]

It's Tijuana, okay? It's not la. Okay.

[J]

So, yeah, halfway up there, sure enough, out right across three lanes, and then just sort of snapped to and said, what?

[Brian Bishop]

And what happened?

[I]

Nobody got hit?

[J]

No, I was really lucky. I just pulled over and just did slap myself around the face.

[Brian Bishop]

Did.

[Dawson]

Did.

[Brian Bishop]

Which. Always bad after rook and. But did.

[J]

Yeah, not advising, but that's you passing out.

[Brian Bishop]

That's you drugging yourself in Mexico, passing out. But I was drugged. Yeah, you were drugged, essentially. But this is not just you falling asleep, but I swear to God, I think one out of five Americans, if you talk to them, will go, I fell asleep while driving a car, which is sort of insane.

[I]

I've gotten close to it, but never the full sleep.

[Brian Bishop]

I had a boss. I used to work Construction with that, just fell asleep, you know? And their story's always the same, like, dude, I was really tired. It's like, no shit. I know you weren't taking a nap. Well, it was around noon. I had a big lunch. You know, I'm sure you wouldn't.

[J]

You wouldn't have fall asleep driving one of those cars you've got parked outside this building here.

[Brian Bishop]

No, they're too expensive and they're too loud. Wait, Allison, you fell asleep driving?

[Def Frat Guy]

I have done it once. I was in college. I was driving back from Santa Barbara to Claremont after seeing Blind Mellon and Lenny Kravitz. It was very late. I was. And I don't know if you guys have this where sometimes you see weird visuals before you fall asleep, almost like your brain starts dreaming. So I'm driving, guy next to me totally asleep, and I see confetti outside the window. And I think, that's. That's weird. And then I see the Michelin man. And then I heard, oh, my God, did you fall asleep? And it was my tires hitting the raised rumble strips. Yes. So that was it. And then.

[Brian Bishop]

But let me say this in a world of nothing but PSAs, where it's nothing but secondhand smoke, and click at her ticket and put that seatbelt on and all that kind of stuff. Falling asleep. Like, we were just talking about gun control a minute ago, but when you have teenagers, the chances that their school is going to get shot up is much less than the fact that something's going to happen on the road. Negative. In terms of their well being. Statistically, it's tenfold, probably. And when somebody falls asleep when they're driving £5,000 worth of steel and they're going 65 miles an hour in one direction, and your kids are in the minivan going the other direction at 65 miles an hour, that's fatal. It's something that we don't really talk about that much. But no PSAs. I mean, there's occasional hey, truckers, pull over kind of thing, but we get beat over the fucking head with the, you know, clicking or, ticket, put your seatbelt on or whatever. Smokey the Bear. Like, I don't know, what the fuck? How much Smokey the Bear. How much campfire shit do you actually implement in your actual daily. None. I know I've grown up with nothing but campfire safety shit, yet I've been camping twice my fucking life.

[Def Frat Guy]

Which project. They could have just ended. Here's the thing, though, because I was in this position a lot when I was in college, Because I was always driving late at night, alone, tired. That was the only time I ever actually got that close to fall or actually fell asleep for a second. But they always say, if you're tired, pull over and take a nap for a little while. And it always struck me that it was more dangerous for me alone to pull over in a car and sit there than to be driving tired. I don't know what the answer is.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, first off, the next person that's falling asleep is just going to plow into you while you're pulled over. Number one number, too. I've seen a thousand movies and a thousand TV shows. When somebody pulls over to take a nap by the side of the road, it never works out. Ever. Ever. It's never a guy swings by and goes, hey, man, you left your wallet at the diner a few miles back. Anyway, there you go. Cappuccino, go back to bed. Yeah, never happens. Something horrible. I mean, this is what happened to Michael Jordan's dad, right? I don't know if it was Michael Jordan's dad. We'll find the story.

[Def Frat Guy]

And Bill Cosby's son.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, Bill Cosby's son got a flat tire, I think. But either way, once the streetlights have been on for a few hours, pulling off by the side of the road, nothing good. So this notion of, like, hey, I'm just gonna pull over the shoulder and catch some winks. When's that ever work out? And then if a cop does come around, you're gonna get arrested. All right. Yeah, Cosby. The weird thing. Not like that. Weird, but I was. Ennis Cosby was just killed by some fucking Russian hoodlum. But I was working Loveline, which is in Culver City, and it was the very beginning. And I used to drive home when I used to live in Toluca Lake, and I used to drive home from Loveline up down the 405, over the hill and go into Toluca lake onto the 101. And when that story came out, he got killed at like 1220, 1218 or something like that on a. Whatever night, Tuesday night, right off of Skirball center, right off of Mulholland or whatever it was off the 405 right there. And I just realized I left Loveline every night at like 12:03. And I just realized I was driving past this poor guy being executed as that was going down. I mean, within a few minutes, maybe seconds, one way or another, Jordan's dad went to a rest stop to take a nap and was basically executed. So again, you guys got to get your rest stops and nap places together before you expect America to fucking pull over and catch some Z's. Yes.

[Def Frat Guy]

So what do you do? What do you do if you are driving and you're tired? I mean, I guess you just don't get in a position where you're gonna be tired when you're driving.

[Brian Bishop]

I mean, first thing you need to do is, like, really realize what's going on. Like, open all the windows of your car. Put on some Rihanna. Pump it. Pump the jam. You know what I mean?

[J]

Put on some Kanye.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, put on some Kanye.

[Def Frat Guy]

That's nice to do. I'd pump the air and then the heat and then the air, and then I'd just constantly be making myself uncomfortable.

[Brian Bishop]

No, you're falling asleep.

[I]

Keep driving tired.

[Def Frat Guy]

Well, but you can't pull over.

[Brian Bishop]

You get killed like Jordan's dad. All right, let's bring it home, baby.

[Def Frat Guy]

That's the news. I'm Allison Rosen. Zip it, cunt.

[Allison Rosen]

That was the news with Allison Rosen.

[Brian Bishop]

Wow. That's a deaf frat guy working the beatbox 5000 or whatever the hell that is.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, this is adam Cole Show, 1332. That does it for today's cult classics. Make sure to tune in tomorrow to the acrylic classics feed as well as the Adam Krilla show feed for one more episode this weekend. Until then, hollow and get it.