Carrot Top on 30+ Years in Comedy and Why He's Still Standing

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Adam Carolla Show featuring Carrot Top Episode Title: Carrot Top on 30+ Years in Comedy and Why He's Still Standing
Release Date: August 11, 2025
Host: Adam Carolla
Guest: Carrot Top
Duration: Approximately 1 hour 50 minutes
Knowledge Cutoff: October 2023

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1. Introduction to Carrot Top

[00:00 – 01:05]
Adam Carolla welcomes Carrot Top to the show, highlighting his extensive experience in comedy. Carrot Top humorously addresses his unorthodox introduction, joking about his own recognition.

Notable Quote:
Carrot Top: "We're in the studio. Carrot Top."

2. Longevity in Comedy and Public Perception

[01:06 – 05:02]
Adam and Carrot Top discuss the challenges of maintaining relevance in the comedy world. Adam draws parallels between Carrot Top's career trajectory and that of iconic bands like the Beach Boys, emphasizing how public perception can fluctuate over time.

Notable Quote:
Adam Carolla: "Carrot Top is like, he's the butt of a joke. You're going to end up doing hackneyed junk like Carrot Top."

3. Shifting Respect Among Peers

[05:03 – 07:37]
Carrot Top reflects on how fellow comedians and peers have come to admire him over time, despite earlier skepticism. They discuss societal tendencies to undervalue individuals until they have proven their longevity and impact.

Notable Quote:
Carrot Top: "But I was never the guy in the comedy club that was working the comics and back of the room."

4. Personal Anecdotes and Interactions

[07:38 – 14:25]
The conversation shifts to personal stories, including Carrot Top's interactions with fans and the public's misconceptions about him. They also touch on the disconnection between celebrities and the general public's awareness of their ongoing work.

Notable Quote:
Adam Carolla: "The worst is when you go somewhere, especially somewhere like a smallish market... someone will say, oh my God, Adam Crowley, you're my favorite."

5. The Gallagher Story: A Friendship and Rivalry

[14:26 – 22:10]
A significant portion of the episode delves into Carrot Top's relationship with fellow comedian Gallagher. Carrot Top shares heartfelt memories of Gallagher visiting his shows and their collaborative moments, including a memorable incident where Gallagher physically pushed him off stage during a performance.

Notable Quotes:
Carrot Top: "He was so mad. The crowd was in horror, but they went nuts because it was Gallagher."
Adam Carolla: "He'd hit that watermelon. I'm like, what?"

6. Craftsmanship and Family Influence

[22:11 – 47:12]
Carrot Top elaborates on the profound influence of his father, an engineer at NASA, on his creative process. He shares stories of building props with his father's assistance, highlighting the blend of engineering and comedy in his performances. This section underscores the importance of craftsmanship and familial support in Carrot Top's success.

Notable Quotes:
Carrot Top: "I build my props myself... but my dad would make a couple."
Adam Carolla: "He built the house you guys grew up in."

7. Personal Life and Relationships

[47:13 – 57:24]
The discussion turns to Carrot Top's personal life, including his decision to remain single and the challenges of maintaining relationships while being constantly on tour. They explore how his demanding career leaves little room for traditional relationships, and the societal expectations surrounding marriage and family.

Notable Quotes:
Carrot Top: "I like being single, going where I like to go and be where I gotta be."
Adam Carolla: "Imagine being like the president, though... I'm just a stupid comedian."

8. Comedy Industry Insights and Experiences

[57:25 – 77:02]
Carrot Top shares his experiences with various television shows, including multiple appearances on "The Tonight Show." He narrates behind-the-scenes anecdotes involving strict show standards, prop challenges, and memorable interactions with other celebrities like Jay Leno and Mel Gibson.

Notable Quotes:
Carrot Top: "He always was nice to me and never was."
Adam Carolla: "Your dad built this. He like overnighted it to you."

9. The Evolution of Carrot Top's Act

[77:03 – 96:44]
The conversation delves into the evolution of Carrot Top's comedy act, focusing on his use of props and physical humor. He discusses the challenges of integrating new ideas into his performances and the technical aspects of prop creation, often aided by his father or prop specialists.

Notable Quotes:
Carrot Top: "Every tool was outlined where it went... If you had a screwdriver, it would be outlined where it went."
Adam Carolla: "Once you get good at solving problems, it becomes kinda universal."

10. Reflections on Society and Media

[96:45 – 101:28]
Adam and Carrot Top engage in a philosophical discussion about societal changes, the impact of technology on poverty, and the evolving nature of media consumption. They critique the superficial nature of modern advertising and the public's tendency to seek new controversies.

Notable Quotes:
Adam Carolla: "We live in a society that doesn't really have problems... Now people start fixating on stuff."
Carrot Top: "It's the same stupid ads up here. Something out of it."

11. Legacy and Future Endeavors

[101:29 – End]
In the closing segments, Carrot Top reflects on his legacy in comedy and teases future projects, including potential movie scripts and continued prop innovations. The episode concludes with light-hearted banter and a final showcase of Carrot Top's prop-driven humor.

Notable Quotes:
Carrot Top: "Kill Gallagher. That's a good movie."
Adam Carolla: "You're crafty. I'd be your prison. I'd be eight and a half."

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Key Takeaways and Insights

• Persistence in Comedy: Carrot Top's career exemplifies the importance of persistence and adaptability in the entertainment industry. Despite fluctuating public perceptions, his dedication to his craft has sustained his longevity.

• Influence of Family: The role of Carrot Top's father was pivotal, blending engineering precision with creative comedy, thereby shaping his unique prop-based humor style.

• Interpersonal Relationships: Balancing personal relationships with a demanding career remains a challenge, highlighting the sacrifices often made by those in the spotlight.

• Evolution of Media: The discussion underscores the changing landscape of media and societal interests, where once-celebrated figures may be sidelined until their lasting impact is reacknowledged.

• Craftsmanship in Comedy: The meticulous creation and engineering of props are central to Carrot Top's performances, emphasizing the intersection of creativity and technical skill.

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Selected Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• On Longevity and Perception:

  • Adam Carolla [01:37]: "I've seen it with Carrot Top. Carrot Top is like, he's the butt of a joke."

• On Family Influence:

  • Carrot Top [28:27]: "I was really not the class clown. I was a very quiet kid."

• On Relationships:

  • Adam Carolla [40:35]: "Imagine being like the president... I'm just a stupid comedian."

• On Craftsmanship:

  • Carrot Top [46:21]: "And I did... I was making a did a doll and I screwed arms and legs on the hammer."

• On Media Evolution:

  • Adam Carolla [90:09]: "We have to have something new to tell. They have to have a new topic."

• On Legacy:

  • Carrot Top [101:21]: "Kill Gallagher. That's a good movie."

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Conclusion

This episode of The Adam Carolla Show offers an in-depth look into Carrot Top's enduring career in comedy, highlighting the personal and professional challenges he has navigated over three decades. Through engaging anecdotes and heartfelt reflections, both Adam Carolla and Carrot Top provide listeners with valuable insights into the world of stand-up comedy, the significance of family influence, and the ever-changing dynamics of public perception and media.

For those who haven’t listened, this summary captures the essence of a candid and humorous conversation that celebrates resilience, creativity, and the unyielding spirit of a seasoned comedian.

Transcript

[Adam Carolla]

Well, in this episode, Carrot Top comes in for very revealing, interesting conversation. We'll do all that right after this. This episode of the Adam Corolla show is brought to you by SimpliSafe from Corolla One Studios in Glendale, California. This is the Adam Carolla Show. Adam's guest today, Carrot Top and Rack on tour. Who spends every weekend on tour? Adam? Adam Carolla. Yeah. Any way you say Dawson, Scott Thompson in studio. Carrot Topp.

[Carrot Top]

You think you lost people right away. Then they said, today's guest, Carrot Top. And they went in and they just started, they just already moved.

[Adam Carolla]

She's going to be celebrating 20 years at the Luxor starting this November. 20 years or 40 years in comedy?

[Carrot Top]

They're nuts.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah.

[Carrot Top]

Well, how long you been doing?

[Adam Carolla]

I've been getting paid for like, you know, because a long, you know, go back to, you know, Mrs. Parker sixth grade class. But I wasn't getting paid, I was getting yelled at. But I got probably 31 years of actually getting paid to do comedy and another 10 years sort of training into that. But I have an observation about you, Carita.

[Carrot Top]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

No, it's an intro, but you tell me what you feel. This.

[Carrot Top]

I'm an attractive man, aren't I?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Here's what I'm saying. There's a thing that we do as a society. I was just watching the Beach Boys documentary, right? And the Beach Boys got out of the gate. Tons of hits, California sound, everyone loved them. That's the early 60s. Then they get to the later 60s and it's Woodstock and Jimi Hendrix and Janis Chaplin and, you know, and Crosby, Stills and Nash. And it goes from like in like a four year period, they go from the coolest, most popular band in the world to. Come on, man. That's my grandpa's music. Screw you. We're listening to Neil Young, you know, and whatever. And then at some point in 1974, then so like, so like literally six years after, they're super famous, everyone hates them and looks at him as grandpa's band. Then six years after that, 1974, they rereleased the whole Endless Summer thing and, and they're selling out stadiums and back again. And I've seen it with Carrot Top. Carrot Top is like, he's the butt of a joke. You're going to end up, you're going to end up being doing Hackney junk like Carrot Top. And now I hear people talking about you comedians on podcasts. Great reverence. Great reverence. It's weird, right? Do you experience that?

[Carrot Top]

Absolutely. I don't know where it came from. I've always just done what I've done from day one. And people would come and go. You always want to. So you always want to, of course, attract your. Your peers. You know, people would say, I just talked about this the night backstage. You would say, hey, you know, if a band sells out, let's say like, you know, the Stones sold out. They did a, you know, they have their song in a Pepsi commercial or something. Isn't that the purpose of doing this? Isn't it? Yeah. So, you know, I would. I got lucky and I got, you know, on some TV stuff and I do, you know, some arenas or not arena. Well, some arena, but not necessarily a full packed arena. And people were just, you know, up in arms. Like, what the. How. But.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Carrot Top]

But I was never the guy in the comedy club that was working the comics and back of the room.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Carrot Top]

I loved that. If I could get the comics to do up. Nah. In the back, that was a huge payoff. But to get the audience was what I was working on. I wanted the crowd to be have. I could care less about what the comics thought about me into that to a certain degree. Because you wanted them to like you. There was something on a. It blew my mind. It was a kill. Tony was on a john car. What's his. No, what's his name? The 2. The David Spade and David Spade.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Fly on the wall.

[Carrot Top]

And they did a lovely thing about me. I mean, they were like, he's just the funniest guy. And then, oh, he's living on his boat making millions of dollars. But all of a sudden they were like, I'm great. All of a sudden Dana Carvey's like, I'm great. And I was. Everyone sent it to me, like, did he ever. I said, I don't know if Dana Carvey ever thought it was funny, but it's a nice gesture.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, I don't see some of it. Is compens. Fairly piling on early?

[Carrot Top]

Sure. Well, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, there's no reason why people had to be douchey early on. And then, you know what? You know, you'll find it. It's. It should be called the Ringo syndrome.

[Carrot Top]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Because Ringo. They made fun of Ringo Starr. Like, he's the guy with no talent in the bill. It's got all this genius around and it's like. And they'd say, like, you're the Ringo of our friend group. We don't even need you here. You know what I mean? Like, literally talking about a worthless Person in a group, or there's the Ringo of the office or whatever. And then you. Like eight years ago, you talk to people and go, he's a really good drummer. Like, Ringo's like, a top five all the time. It's like, wait a minute. You talk shit about him for 40 years now. He's a great drummer.

[Carrot Top]

Thing in the Beatles. Ever could write? Yeah, I don't know. I think it's a long. It is true. But really piling on also maybe just longevity, because people will say to me, you know, he's in the business 40 years, so now, like, I'm invited to the picnic, you know, it's like, how do you not bring him? Now He's. He's done. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Andrew Dice Clay got a little of that. Got, you know, really hot, then kind of thrown out, then brought back in, you know, I think it's part of the human existence. We like the process of, like, piling on somebody and then building that person up and then piling on again.

[Carrot Top]

But I still get. I was just on the plane coming here now from Vegas. I still have people like, hey, you still working? And I'm like, I just got off stage. Like, yeah, I'm still working, yeah. Oh, you are? I'm like, yeah, every night. Every night. Wow. Like, they did, you know. Seriously, I get the whole thing. Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. Or if you're off on a vacation, like, for. I could. I could fly to Florida. Well, tomorrow I'll be at home in Orlando. Not even an hour. I'll go somewhere to have lunch, and someone will say, oh, you're not working anymore? No, I'm on fucking vacation. I have to take a week off. I'm still working. I just worked last night. I know.

[Adam Carolla]

The saddest conversation I ever had with anybody is I was. It must have been like. I was about 15 years ago, maybe. It was about 15 years ago, I think I was visiting my dad in the hospital, and I was in Pasadena, and I was walking out of the place, and there was a black guy who was, like, working the floor buffer or whatever, and he's like, hey, man, show. And I go, hey, man. He goes, what you been up to since then? I go, well, I'm writing a book and doing. He goes, just chilling. That's cool. I'm like, no, I'm not just chilling, but all right. I walked back the car more depressed than I ever been. What have you been doing lately, by the way?

[Carrot Top]

Whatever happened to you?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. If somebody yells, what have you been up to? Let them answer. Don't yell. Just chilling. I'm just chilling. Just watch my dad in the hospital, you know what I mean? Yeah. So I realized that people can't keep track of everybody and there's too many celebrities now and no one knows anything anymore.

[Carrot Top]

It's true, true, true. What's weird is I could be the one. I could be in Las Vegas. I mean, my billboard could be behind them and they'll say, oh, you still have a show? Yeah, it's behind you. Like there's my. I mean, literally. Yeah, yeah, I, I've been. This is true. And I've been in. In the elevator at the Luxor where I. Where I work force work. I get in the elevator and they'll say, oh, where's your show at? I'm like, you work here, right? Yeah, I'm like, it's here.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. The worst is when you go somewhere, especially somewhere like a smallish market, you know, to do a show, and you're sitting there in Oklahoma City and you did the show the Saturday night and now it's Sunday and you're sitting there at a diner and you're having breakfast and somebody comes over and goes, oh my God, Adam Crowley, you're my favorite. You're my all time favorite. What are you doing? What are you doing here? I just played the theater next door across the. I didn't know. What, what. When you coming back? Well, not for a long time. What do you care for? I didn't know. It's like, you're the biggest fan. You're my biggest fan. You had no idea coming to this.

[Carrot Top]

Part of Wisconsin, that literally happened. It's just now, whatever month ago, and we were.

[Adam Carolla]

It happens all day.

[Carrot Top]

Same thing, though. We're in a diner right next to the theater and the waitress is like, yeah, there's some, you know, Carrot Top is playing or no. Yeah. And she said, oh, I love Carrot Top. And my, my crew said, well, it's Carrots up. And she looked and she was like, oh, like, yeah. Clueless. Clueless.

[Adam Carolla]

I know.

[Carrot Top]

Stand right there. I'm fucked in a lineup. They don't even recognize me in a lineup. No.

[Adam Carolla]

So I don't know, in a weird. So in a weird way your career's been. I get no respect. In a weird way. But now it's come full circle that the people, the comedians, your fellow, your peers are now heaping praise on. And I was like, look, there's no reason to hate Carrot Top and we don't need to love on him that much. It's just somewhere in the middle. I swear to God, I think they feel guilty.

[Carrot Top]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

I never.

[Carrot Top]

I never thought we should like it, but not.

[Adam Carolla]

Let's just go over with it.

[Carrot Top]

Crazy with it. I mean, okay, you're all right.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Then somebody brought up. Somebody here brought up this clip of Norm MacDonald.

[Carrot Top]

Oh, yes.

[Adam Carolla]

For chairman of the board. And it's like, he had to have seen that. But that, of course, that's what it used to be.

[Carrot Top]

Norman. I were friends. I would say good friends, but we're friends.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't. I don't think anyone is good friends. Was right. I was friends with Norm MacDonald, but I was not.

[Scott Thompson]

He didn't.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know if he had good friends.

[Carrot Top]

Right.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Carrot Top]

And the funny thing about that clip, because people just. They lose their mind. They say, have you seen this? And I said, not only have I seen it, but on the set of the movie, that was already our joke. So to us, it was kind of like we called it chairman of the board on set.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Carrot Top]

Like, that was our joke. Remember the board?

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Carrot Top]

It was a pretty given, easy joke. And when he did it, it was like, you know, Conan. I said, okay, and it's fun. But I felt really worse for the poor girl that was in the.

[Adam Carolla]

Courtney Thorne Smith.

[Carrot Top]

She was defending me to the end. I mean, just. No, he's really nice and he's funny, and they're like, Norm's like, no, why would you leave? Why are you doing a movie with Carrie? She's like, it's great. It was a good movie.

[Adam Carolla]

I watched it and seen it a long time. But her body language reminded me on a lot of dates I've been on, like, she was literally it. There's one thing when you're confined to a chair.

[Carrot Top]

Oh, you have the clip.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. You can't get up and leave. You just want to be as far away as that. As humanly possible from that person without ever getting out of your chair. She's 45 degrees. She's not sitting up. All right, we'll play the young Conan clip just for fun.

[Scott Thompson]

You are making a movie with Carrot Top, right?

[Carrot Top]

I made a movie with Carrot Top.

[Scott Thompson]

Okay, you've made a movie with Carrot Top. It's not out yet.

[Carrot Top]

No, it's not yet.

[Scott Thompson]

Can you put the picture up of Carrot Top again just so we can all see him? Oh, there it is again.

[Carrot Top]

Yeah.

[Scott Thompson]

All right.

[Carrot Top]

Nothing wrong with that. Okay. Good looking.

[Adam Carolla]

She left Melrose Place to do a.

[Carrot Top]

Movie with Carrot Top. No, she's still with him, though.

[Scott Thompson]

That's where I'm going, my friend. This begs the question now, why a movie with Carrot Top?

[Carrot Top]

Why a movie with Carrot Top?

[Scott Thompson]

I mean, no, I don't know much about Carrot Top. You know, I don't know much about him. I'm a little jealous cause he's a red haired comedian and I felt like maybe you'd do a movie with me first, then move on to Carrot Top, then to Ralph Mal from Happy Days, Johnny Mouse, you know, sort of the three. There's an order in which you do movies with the redheads. What's he like?

[Carrot Top]

First of all, he's extraordinarily sweet.

[Scott Thompson]

Nice guy.

[Carrot Top]

He really is. And he worked very hard and he was adorable.

[Scott Thompson]

And he worked with a lot of props and stuff too, right?

[Carrot Top]

Not in the movie.

[Scott Thompson]

Oh, in the movie they took his props away.

[Carrot Top]

They took his props away.

[Scott Thompson]

That's a bad time to suddenly take away everything you know about comedy. You know, you've been using props now all your life for copy.

[Carrot Top]

See, that's how talented I am, Conan. I didn't even use props.

[Scott Thompson]

Now we're gonna take them away. When you make your first movie. Was he okay though with it?

[Carrot Top]

He was cool. He was great. He did a wonderful job.

[Scott Thompson]

Do you have a scene where you and. You and him embrace?

[Carrot Top]

Yeah. Lots of making out.

[Scott Thompson]

Oh, for God's sake.

[Carrot Top]

We did nothing but making out. It's like nine and a half weeks but Carrot talk.

[Adam Carolla]

That's funny.

[Carrot Top]

We were naked from first day. Never met her.

[Scott Thompson]

Wow, check out that movie.

[Adam Carolla]

Is it called nine and a half Seconds? Nine seconds, Norm. Like he's premature. Ejaculator.

[Carrot Top]

We got it. You know, you know what happened? This is what happened.

[Scott Thompson]

You know what happened?

[Carrot Top]

He said nine and a half seconds.

[Scott Thompson]

And I'm looking at him. Cause I know there's more. And I wait and wait and I see the glimmer in the eye and then bang. I thought you were going to. But no. But what's the movie gonna be called?

[Carrot Top]

Really?

[Adam Carolla]

I know what it's gonna be called.

[Scott Thompson]

Yeah, what's that?

[Adam Carolla]

If it's got Carrot Top in it, you know what a good name for it would be?

[Scott Thompson]

What's that, Norm?

[Adam Carolla]

Box Office Poison.

[Carrot Top]

Aww. Well, he's dead. What about my crew?

[Scott Thompson]

Courtney, Thorne, Smith. The girls sitting to your left is in the movie.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm gonna go see it for fun.

[Carrot Top]

How do you scare everybody else away?

[Adam Carolla]

No, I love this girl. I would see any movie with this girl in. She's a beautiful lady and a talented. Nice talk show guest.

[Carrot Top]

Okay.

[Scott Thompson]

As evidenced by her appearance on our rival show. All right, well, there's this two hour season finale of Melrose Place. There's this movie coming out.

[Carrot Top]

Yes.

[Scott Thompson]

Title undetermined at this point.

[Carrot Top]

Chairman of the board.

[Scott Thompson]

Oh, all right. Do something with that, you freak.

[Adam Carolla]

I bet the board is spelled B O R E D.

[Carrot Top]

All right.

[Adam Carolla]

Funny, Norm. Yeah. I don't know anyone.

[Carrot Top]

I was always thinking that bothered me. That didn't bother me.

[Adam Carolla]

No.

[Carrot Top]

Jesus.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, that's what comedians do. I get it. But I mean, again, it's kind of a. As a society. It's like when I was younger, we had like the go to fat person, right?

[Carrot Top]

Sure.

[Adam Carolla]

And it was Orson Welles and it was Shelley Winter. No, Shelly Berman. No, no, Shelly Berman's a dude. I'm talking about the Shelly Berman is a dude. Shelly Winters. And then it turned into Sally Struthers later on. But it's like we'd have to just go, you know, like this. I'm fat, but I'm not Orson Wells fat or something. All right. So we had this thing and we had to have like some sort of poster child for everybody. And somehow when we're making fun of comedians, it was like it had to be a Carrot Top jab in there. And now we don't. I don't think we really do that anymore, do we?

[Carrot Top]

I don't think so. I mean, one of my openers one time said it's kind of hacked to do that now because it's been done. They beat the hell out of it kind of thing.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Carrot Top]

And you're still working and you're still doing, you know, like, I write jokes every day. Like, I wrote one last night and actually, I actually posted your guy back there's pretty good. Maybe you can find that one you.

[Adam Carolla]

Put on my Instagram.

[Carrot Top]

I did it just today, but it's a brand new joke that shows the new light is Vegas. But it's. It happened just last night. I was driving home last night well before the show, and there's a billboard and I just said, there's a joke there. And we did it and it killed. But it was. It's also. It was a gimme. He knew it was going to work, right? We can. We can. You guys can find it. Carrots up. Carrots up. Live.

[Adam Carolla]

Carrot Top Live. Instagram.

[Carrot Top]

Instagram. The last post, I think I just. Now you can just see the. The relative of doing a new joke that just like, you know, you're proud of. Like a new.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah.

[Carrot Top]

I go back to before you Told that I like going back to the Kona when he was just absolutely freaked out that I, I didn't do props. I find that funny. Like people would say before, way back when radio shows, when you do the punchline or the whatever, they'd say, oh, we, you know, we have. You do radio, but Carrot Top, we're not, you know, we're not going to do radio. And I'm like, I'm not doing props on the radio. I'll come in and talk and tell conversations and I have jokes. I have stand up jokes. Well, and they were shocked. They were like, Carrot Top. I went on Howard Stern. He was like, you didn't bring your box? I'm like, I mean, I could have, I could have brought my box of props on Howard Stern. But it was like, I tell stories. And he was like, you're great with props.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, you know, Gallagher, back in the day, everyone remembers Gallagher at the sledge o matic and the roller skates and everything. But Gallagher did a lot of all his societal humor, like our stand up.

[Carrot Top]

And then, and then he'd hit the, the melons and all that. But it was an hour special hour of yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

And it was like Mort Solly, George Carlin, political stuff, interesting. And then he'd bring out a giant bed and jump up and down on it. People go, that's a guy jumps on the bed.

[Carrot Top]

Right?

[Adam Carolla]

Well, what about the 57min?

[Carrot Top]

Right? No, that's all I remembered. Right.

[Adam Carolla]

Commentary, social commentary. Before that, you know.

[Carrot Top]

Exactly.

[Adam Carolla]

So in a weird way, Carrot Tops got a little bit of the Gallagher.

[Carrot Top]

Well, people still walk up to me and say that. They'll say, we saw you in Hermosa beach in 72. And I'm like, no, wasn't me. And then you got us wet. You hit that watermelon. I'm like, I mean, a lot of times. So we've come up with a bit now we're doing it much anymore, but we used to do a thing where I would say to the crowd, I hit the watermelon at the end to the front row. Because they were always, you know, like they were waiting for the wrong guy. And then one night, Gallagher came. Now this one you could find late. This is great. So he came to my show five nights in a row.

[Adam Carolla]

Five nights in a row. How long ago is this?

[Carrot Top]

About eight years ago. Before he passed, he came to the show and he came every day, Every day. And my manager called me and said, you're best buddy, your buddy's here now. He was one of my Heroes. Literally, when I was 12, 13, I would. I knew him, and I used to write him jokes.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, really?

[Carrot Top]

Well, I would try to. And he would say, why'd you get that? And I'd say, why? You know, I. I wrote. I wrote it, you know, so he. He would do it on stage, and he'd say, ah, Scott. And this guy. I wasn't Carrot Top then. I just. So he came my show five times in a row, and. And he sat there on the side and just. Just. Just. Just frown. Just watching. No, no, no, no. Nothing. I got done, and it was a great show. I got done, and I just thought, I just get the best show. I couldn't possibly in front of Gallagher. And I walked off stage, and he said he had. He said, I. I have a whole, whole bunch of stuff to change. So I said, okay. What? He said, everything. I mean, everything, from the beginning, you step on stage to the end, it's all wrong. You got to move your trunks this way. You got to do this. You don't do this. Don't do the. Don't show a video. Don't do. Why are you doing. And I was like, five nights in a row, and they were great shows. And he's like, take my advice or not. And then I said, can I. Can I? I said, we should do something. So the next night, they said, gallagher's here again. I said, fuck. So we went to the grocery store, and we got a watermelon, and I went to my warehouse, and I had an old prop that I used to do. It looked. It was like a big hammer. I used to make jokes that I would hit the watermelon. So he's there, and I said, you want to do something fun? And he said, no, no. I said, at the end, I'm going to build this thing up that. At the end, I had the watermelon. And then when I go off for my encore, you're going to come out. I'm gonna put the watermelon down on the stool, and you're gonna come out and you do whatever. I didn't tell him what he needed to do. Whatever you think's funny. So it's the best video ever. So he comes out, put the watermelon down, and I go to hit it with the. With the hammer, and he comes running out, grabs the watermelon, and shoves me so hard that I fall to the ground. Like, he was so mad. The crowd was, like, in horror, but they went nuts because it was Gallagher. Literally. You know, Crosby steals a Nash White Hair Gallagher. I mean, it wasn't. You know, and then afterwards he was all mad and he's like, what are you gonna do with that? I said, nothing. We're just gonna. Just for us, you know, Post it on Twitter. No, we don't have to, but I think the crowds would like it. It's an honor. It's homage to you.

[Adam Carolla]

He went kind of nuts at some point in his life, and then his brother took his act, and then he sued his brother.

[Carrot Top]

I only had a brother didn't make Carrot Top two. Could you imagine? The comedy world would go greedy.

[Adam Carolla]

It's all so weird. And. Yeah, and it's. And it's.

[Carrot Top]

I know them both really well. You know, both that.

[Adam Carolla]

Both.

[Carrot Top]

Both the Gallaghers. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, what was the story?

[Carrot Top]

Because I was doing comedy clubs and he wanted to put another guy in there. To. To. To. To. To. He wanted to always have another gallery. It was kind of like having the Blue Man Group. I mean, he thought, he's a brand. He was a brand Gallagher. And he thought, hey, let's have another Gallagher out on the road. Like Blue Man Group, in a sense. So. Oh, my God, Gallagher's everywhere.

[Adam Carolla]

So Gallagher was the biggest comedian in the world for a period of time.

[Carrot Top]

Absolutely right.

[Adam Carolla]

And so he thought of it like franchising. Like, hey, why do we have one In N Out Burger?

[Carrot Top]

We have two.

[Adam Carolla]

We have two.

[Carrot Top]

I mean, and he looked. He was twin. He was an absolute twin of him.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, he was a twin.

[Carrot Top]

Twin. Twin. Twin, twin. They look. They would do years ago. They'd come out, he'd come out first, and everyone's like, oh, Gallagher. Like a magician, where they, you know, they make you look over here. And he'd come, the real Gallagher, come out and spray everybody and hit them with and water guns. And they're like, oh, my God, there's two. It was amazing, right?

[Adam Carolla]

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[Adam Carolla]

So what happened with his brother then?

[Carrot Top]

Well, what, you want to know the story?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I do. I'm interested in it.

[Carrot Top]

So the Gallagher wanted to do a show on New Year's Eve in Detroit. So he called up and said, I want to play the Meadowbrook, whatever it's called New Year's Eve. And they said, we already have Gallagher booked. And they said, no, no, no, no, I'm Gallagher. And they said, no, we have Gallagher booked at whatever. The other. The other. This is weird. At the other venue. So Gallagher said, well, I'm gonna get rid of the other Gallagher. I'm playing. So he called his brother and said, you gotta cancel your show. I'm playing Detroit. And his brother said, no. And that's how it all started.

[Adam Carolla]

How many years was he doing Gallagher?

[Carrot Top]

That I don't know exactly the number of years, but he was doing it for a while. And the only thing that was not. I think, I hope I don't get in trouble for this, as me being a Gallagher fanatic was. We went into a club one night in the middle of nowhere. We were on the road and we went to this little Holiday Inn, and it said Gallagher. We walked in and sure enough, it was his brother. And so Gallagher had, you know, charisma and charm, and he was, you know, a. You know, he had. The other guy looked like him, but he didn't have the delivery. He didn't have the charm. He didn't have the style. He didn't have the, you know, the mojo. And so the crowd was just. He would just go and Harrison ours and shit and duck and, you know, whatever joke he did. But the crowd was like, savvy Enough to say that it's not. It's not, like, funny.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Carrot Top]

Where Gallagher was brilliantly.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Carrot Top]

So that part of it also failed because I think he wasn't. He didn't have the. The edge in the. He looked like him.

[Adam Carolla]

But, you know, such a bizarre story.

[Carrot Top]

We need a Carrot Top, too. Wouldn't that be great?

[Adam Carolla]

I. Listen, I. I wouldn't mind a doppelganger go out and do all the work. So. Speaking of that, I don't know. You got brothers and sisters?

[Carrot Top]

I have a brother, yeah. Flies. He was in Air Force pilot. Air Force 16.

[Adam Carolla]

F16.

[Carrot Top]

His name is Garrett, and I call him Garrett Top. And. But, yeah, he flies now. He flies for Southwest. In fact, flies into Burbank all the time here.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow. So your brother flies F16s or flew F16s for Navy or Air Force, and then your Carrot Top, which is. I don't know how much space you can sort of get between two brothers. You know, a sort of. One goes into the priesthood and the other becomes a porno director or something like that. I'm sure. But flying the F16 and Carrot Top, A pretty big castle.

[Carrot Top]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Pretty different.

[Carrot Top]

I mean, I do. It might do a whole thing. My show about it. I mean, it was. I say, my whole adopted life, I wanted to do that. I mean, my dad worked at NASA and was an engineer for everything from Gemini to Skylab to Apollo and shuttle. My brother went to the Air Force Academy, and I'm, you know, gluing dildos on walkers. You know, give me a rubber chicken and a tennis racket. I got a show to do.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, what was. So. For you. It just hit early. I mean, class clown kind of stuff sitting in.

[Carrot Top]

I was really not the class clown. I was a very quiet kid. I never really said anything. And my dad was being. Was so strict, you know, working at NASA. My dad was funny in that sense. He would always have the jokes, you know, come home and say, you know, an old joke, joke, dad joke. It was great. And, you know, around the neighborhood, so I would take those jokes and I go to school, and then I would, you know, I would say, hey, on the bus. Here's one. And, you know, then I'd get in trouble. Like, you can't do this joke in front of the kids. I'm like, well, my dad did it in the driveway. It was funny. But I was really quiet. And then all of a sudden, I just. I was like 16 or something, and I started writing, like, things down in my head, things that would just be observationally Funny. Like there was a crime. It was my first. There's a crime watch sign. And I, I took it and someone said, I said, how good is their crime watch if. Then I'm watching their signs. And so I came. It's kind of like, oh, it's clever. It's kind of right, you know, it's a visual, it's a prop. But it had. It had a cleverness to it.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Carrot Top]

And that's why I started writing those kind of things. And, you know, there'd be a sign, slow children at play, and they'd have no feet. And I said, well, no wonder they're slow. They don't need feet.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Carrot Top]

And so that became my first routine on stage with.

[Adam Carolla]

Did people recognize, like your dad or your brother or your mom or a teacher? Was there any. Yeah, I know.

[Carrot Top]

No, my dad, I told my dad was doing comedy. He says, you're not funny, swear to God. And I said, no, but. But you gotta come check it out. So my dad came down and saw me and he was like, what the. Like, where did you come from? Like, I just was so quiet and sheltered. I never, I never, I never was an out, you know, spoken guy. So when he came to the show, he was like, wow, what a different. You know, I'm on stage jumping around like crazy.

[Adam Carolla]

And he was, how early on is this probably right?

[Carrot Top]

It's like late 20s. In college, that's when I started doing. I would do open mics and you'd win a Walkman. That's how old I am. So seriously, you would win. I. I won so many times. I won like 40 walkmans, you know, and I'm like, can I just get paid? And I said, you know, the Walkman. So I would, I would have piles and piles of Walkmans and I would just giving away to people, like, where are you getting these? Are you stealing? I said, no, I'm winning them at these comedy clubs.

[Adam Carolla]

And they would. I'm glad they gave something away.

[Carrot Top]

Then I'd say, can you run with a Walkman? See, I'd come up with some bit with it.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. I mean, your mind works that way. And you and I are old enough to know that. It wasn't generally supported back then because people weren't really into figuring out potential for young people. It was a weird thing. I sit around and. Plus I have conversations with people like your son. What's he good at? What's he. Well, he wants to do. I know one figured out what I wanted to do. And by the way, they didn't come from that world, you got a job. Where I come from, no one said the word career. They just go, you got to get a job. And the job would be. I said to somebody yesterday, I. I got a pamphlet for driving an ambulance. I could be an ambulance driver in seven weeks or something if I went to this thing. And I was also attempting to be a merchant marine. And the answer is, what do those two have to do with each other? The answer is a job. I wanted a job. That's all.

[Carrot Top]

I wanted a career.

[Adam Carolla]

Decided a job, yeah, career was a weird kind of luxury item.

[Carrot Top]

And you probably didn't think, as I did, that would be a career. That's why I think our parents were like, what are you doing? And I'm, you know, I'm in college. I'm getting a degree in marketing, but I'm gonna do comedy. Like, no, you're gonna get a job.

[Adam Carolla]

I didn't think it'd be a career.

[Carrot Top]

I mean, and nor did I. I was just having fun, making enough money to buy, you know, buy beer and drive my car around.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, when did it hit for you then? What was the big kind of. I mean, when did you get into the zeitgeist, as they say?

[Carrot Top]

Well, I. I started doing. I don't know, I started doing. Well, what originally happened was I was doing pretty good, and then I couldn't get gigs lined up, and I was. I was so stressed out, I just quit and I moved back. I lived born in the area of Overland. I moved back there. You know, the typical. Sounds like a joke. And four roommates. And I was shucking oysters. And I was at the barber night shucking oysters. And these two couples came in and, I'm shucking oysters. And I'm.

[Adam Carolla]

You're working at the bar?

[Carrot Top]

Yeah, and I'm. And there's a jukebox, and I'll be dancing, you know, doing. That's where I had my. You know, these people looked at me and they said, my God, you have a brother? And I said, yeah. He's like, but looks like you? And I said, no, my brother's blonde pilot. Oh, no. This guy we saw, he's a comic. We saw him in Tampa, like Carrot Top or something. And I said, oh, really? I said, he was so good. Oh, my God, you just remind me of him so much. And I just went after my break that night, I went home and I called the guy that used to book clubs, and I said, you know, what are you doing? I said, I'm shucking oysters. And he said, what, your Carrot Top? I said, yeah. He said, you gotta get back. So I got back in and did a show, and that led to something. And then there was, like, mtv, something. I got on, like, Comic Strip Live. And that was. You know, I was. So. I didn't have. I. You know, everyone had. I would always say, you know, you do 10, you do 10, you do a trunk. And I would, you know, I had just enough to do three minutes on a TV show. So I have all my ace stuff, you know, the crime watch sign, all the stuff I started with, and I got that show. And then it was like, I think I'm. I mean, I'm on tv. I still wasn't like, you know, but I thought, maybe I'm not a career yet, but, you know, I'm doing something. And then I got Sunday Comics and then the Tonight Show. And so when I remember getting the Tonight Show, I thought, all right, this is legit NBC. I'm standing. That's Lenox. Yeah. It was like three weeks after Carson had left. I was standing on that show.

[Adam Carolla]

I was gonna say, yes, close, right?

[Carrot Top]

Literally two or three weeks. And I was standing on that star. I was still the old studio. And you're standing on that gold star behind the.

[Adam Carolla]

Behind the curtain.

[Carrot Top]

No, when you. Yo. You walk out and I do my first, you know, rehearsal, and I'm standing there looking down, and I'm like, you know, there's 40, 75 people in this. In the studio. All of, you know, the guy was still there that did Ed Decordova. All the people are still there, producers, everybody. And I'm just standing on the Carson gold star, thinking, all right, this is weird.

[Adam Carolla]

Like, right?

[Carrot Top]

I might have done something okay. And this. It set went great. I got done. It was just. I think that was the moment I thought. I mean. I mean, I'm on NBC. I think I could do all right. And then it just kind of, you know, things went on, and we did Chairman of the Bored. And then. So, yeah, it was a long. It was a whole bunch of stuff. Speaking of age, I think this is funny. I was just, this is not a joke. I didn't plan this. I was on a plane just now, and this guy next to me, his old guy leans over and says, damn, carrot top. I said, yeah. He says, you and I have something in common. I said, oh. I'm thinking, my dad worked at NASA or, you know, I lived in California. I said, oh, what do we have in common? He says, both 65. And I said, what he goes, 65, you and I. I said, I'm not 65. He goes, oh, I thought you were born in 65. I said, born in is different than being 60. Jesus. Yeah, both 65. No, I'm born in 65. It's a little different.

[Adam Carolla]

You know, people have a weird relationship. I realized with just reality in general. I've just kind of realized that they're sort of walked through life in some sort of half cocked haze or something. And like, funny. Norm MacDonald. So the two guys I used to get, Gilbert Godfrey and Norm MacDonald. And Gilbert died and Norm died. And a year later I was crossing PCH and a guy stopped at the thing, he was in his car and he's like, hey, Norm. And I was like, he's dead, he's dead. When is this ever gonna end? Like, what do you gotta do tonight? And I realized everyone's just sort of walking around in some sort of weird malaise of information that they're sort of half sure. Like there's like half Christian, half into Santeria or something. Like weird. Like I don't even know what they're thinking. But you know what always amazes me is how functional they are, right? Like you talk to them, they don't know anything they can't figure out. I literally, I'm in front of my house and I got a pressure washer out and I'm pressure washing. And by the way, the pressure washer, it's addicting. It's really. You get, once you get into it.

[Carrot Top]

You want to start doing your neighbor's driveway?

[Adam Carolla]

No, it's not only that. It's like, oh, I swear to God, you'll be in the house and be like, oh, somebody spilled a Coke and that's in the ashtray. I'll get the pressure washer. It's like, well, just put it in the sink. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Here's how you know you're out of control of the pressure washer with the shit you're pressure washing is being blown down the street. Like I tried to pressure wash a small trash can, it was just roll. I was chasing him at the pressure wash. Cause it doesn't even. But I'm out front and a woman must have been 55, 60, she comes by and she goes, where did you get your water feature? And I said, you were talking to the pressure washer. She goes, yeah, I live in Arizona and I don't have a hose long enough to get to the end of the driveway. I go, you want a bigger hose? What is That I was like, oh, it's a pressure one. I live in Arizona. And it's like, wait a minute. What's going on? You're calling it a water feature. So what's in front of the Bellagio?

[Carrot Top]

It's a fucking fountain.

[Adam Carolla]

It's a pressure washer. If you've not seen people on sidewalks, you know, in the wee hours.

[Carrot Top]

Beautiful.

[Adam Carolla]

And she was like, I need one for Arizona. My driveway. And I'm like, I mean, that's. Are we talking about a hose? And then, by the way, how are you navigating life, right?

[Carrot Top]

How did you get this far?

[Adam Carolla]

How'd you. When you go to a Chipotle, how do you order? What? Then you get in your car, and then you start your car. Then you know where you live. Like, how does all this work? You can't figure.

[Carrot Top]

No, you see old people and you're like, God, they've done something good. I mean, you get that old to get that far because you see people just dumb as bricks. That's how we. But that's how we survive. That's how we survive. Right? The stupid pity in this world. Why we have jobs.

[Adam Carolla]

Mesmerized by a water. Okay, we have the clip, by the way.

[Carrot Top]

We didn't set it up that good. It's not that good. It's just. It was just someone saying, when you write new jokes, I always say, no, I'm still doing Nixon jokes. Come to the show. No, it's just. It's. It was. It. It's one of those. I thought of it, and we put it in the same night, so it was kind of fun.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, well.

[Carrot Top]

I love this billboard for the Sahara. Hey, meet me at the pool. Yeah. Then you get there like, yeah, it's all sausage ratchet. But I mean, it's a true. The reality that, though, is true. They have these ads, you know, the same at the buffet. You get there, and there's no goddamn buffet. But that's a great big billboard. Meet me at the pool. And this hot girl. And then you get there, and it's like, 75 gay guys.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it's every. Every single. I mean, I think it's. It's. It's. Well, it kind of starts with prostitution. Like, there's female prostitutes or with males, and then there's male prostitutes who are with males.

[Carrot Top]

Right.

[Adam Carolla]

You know, and then there's, you know, swingers, whatever. Like. Like, it's always an issue. There's not enough hot chicks to go around, but why should they be in such abundance? You know? What I mean, they know they're in demand. I mean, and being a beautiful woman is kind of ultimate celebrity stuff, if you think about it.

[Carrot Top]

Sure.

[Adam Carolla]

So you're. You come from a traditional family?

[Carrot Top]

Yes, I would say, I think very traditional.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I would say very. Considering your brother and your dad and.

[Carrot Top]

Your mom, she was a stripper in Vegas. But there is, other than that, pretty straightforward.

[Adam Carolla]

So. And you've never had. You don't have children, right? And. And never. Have you never been married? Why. Why do you think that?

[Carrot Top]

Not to quote Bill Maher, but I, I. Whenever I. Whenever someone talks with Bill Maher about that, they, you know, you're at your age, you haven't been married, never had children. What's wrong with you? And he always says, what's wrong with. Wrong with me? What's wrong with you? I've just been that way. I've always been just. My parents got divorced when I was young. Not that that really was the deciding factor, but every parent, everyone in my neighborhood that I grew up with my entire life ended up divorced.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Carrot Top]

And I just observed from a distance, and I was like, I. And also being on the road as a comic, I was just always working. It was no time for girlfriends. There's no time for relationships. And if there was, you know, right before you go on stage, see call. Where are getting ready to go on stage? Like, what do you mean, where am I? I hate. That's my biggest pet peeve of being in a relationship is they call you and you know what you're doing. Like, I'm at work.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Carrot Top]

Why are you not home now while I'm at my meet and greet? Like, you know where I'm at.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I totally. I totally agree. I feel the same way with women.

[Carrot Top]

Imagine being like the president, though. Imagine that, where he's just. Every second of the day, he's got to be something. And the wife would go, where are. I'm in a staff meeting. I'm at the. I'm in the. I'm on the Air Force One. I'm going to. Well, you were supposed to be in Berlin this morning. How come you're not in Berlin? We got delayed with the thing. We got Secret Service. I'm just a stupid comedian. I can't handle it.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, women do a weird. Like I condescendingly have said to many women I've been with, I'm working. I'm working. You know, they go, what's going on? It's Saturday. What's outcome? You're not. I go, I'm working.

[Carrot Top]

Yeah, I'm working. Yeah, same thing.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I get.

[Carrot Top]

Because if they know where you are, like, you know, I'm at. I'm at the Luxor, in my dressing room at 8 o', clock, going on stage. Where are you?

[Adam Carolla]

Of all the comedians. 20 years. I mean, you got to know your schedule, but so how's it work? You date, you have a girlfriend who understands things or how's that work?

[Carrot Top]

I just kind of. Yeah, just free. Free. Just free. Just whatever. I don't really have any relationships or. No, I date my props, you know, So I like being. I like being single, going where I like to go and be where I gotta be when I gotta be.

[Adam Carolla]

No, I get it. I think. I listen.

[Carrot Top]

My whole crew's married. I said, oh, you guys have fun with your wives tonight. And they all leave. And I said, what are you gonna do? I'm gonna sit back here in the backstage.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Carrot Top]

Have a drink and unwind and Sports center.

[Adam Carolla]

I get it, I get it. Because I'm. I'm very much wired that way.

[Carrot Top]

You're miserable.

[Adam Carolla]

No, I. Listen, I'm. I am very happy. I have kids, but they don't always make it easy, that's for damn sure. And you do. I literally got the. I was running, running around this morning and I got the call from my daughter going, hey, what about that bed we talked about? Can you. And I just went, I'm real busy right now. But if you call me between four and five, I can, you know, I can divide. I can put some attention toward it. But for me, it's really weird because I think it's more difficult for me than it is for regular folk who grew up in a normal family, because my parents never did anything for me or anybody else. So when, you know, if your daughter goes, well, I want a Mercedes, but I want it to be a convertible, then I go, all right, I'll get you a Mercedes, but it's not gonna be a convertible. They go. I'm like, are you kidding me? Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me? I couldn't get.

[Carrot Top]

I didn't. We grew up the same. I didn't get anything like that ever. Ever.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, we people didn't.

[Carrot Top]

But we didn't have money. We didn't have. We weren't broke. We lived in a very modest neighborhood. But, you know, getting new shoes, I got my brother's old shoes.

[Adam Carolla]

People didn't feel compelled, adults didn't feel compelled to make children sort of like their number one customer, you know, like, in a weird way, you know that scene in Pretty Woman where Larry Miller comes out and he finds out that now Julia Roberts is hanging out with this billionaire? And he comes up and he just starts sucking up to her. You know what I mean? Every parent is that way with a kid now. And when I was a kid, like, parents like, you get out. I'm not giving now. And by the way, they would just say, no. You know what I mean? I could go like, hey, could we go to the Sizzler on now?

[Carrot Top]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

They're gonna explain anything. Could I get a mini button? No.

[Carrot Top]

No.

[Adam Carolla]

How about a go kart now? How about we go tonight? We get some pie?

[Carrot Top]

No, same.

[Adam Carolla]

It was like, all right.

[Carrot Top]

No, no. We knew, literally, that's the answer to everything was the same. And my dad, if he wanted something, he'd build it. Oh. So I'm like, oh.

[Adam Carolla]

Because he was an engineer.

[Scott Thompson]

Yeah.

[Carrot Top]

But he built everything. He built his home house. So he said, like, you know, get a tv. I'm gonna build it. And I'd have to help him. I helped him build the house. I built him. I mean, I was. I watch these things on sports and all these. With these guys, and they show that. And people like, oh, that's. I said, no, that's not bullshit. That was me, too. I was that kid. My dad made me work in the yard every morning, every day. I'd have to do something. Would he wash the car, do the thing?

[Adam Carolla]

So if you said, your dad, I wanted to build the go cart, he'd sound, no, my dad.

[Carrot Top]

My dad made it.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

[Carrot Top]

But it was a. It wasn't just like, okay. He was like, all right, well. Well, I'm gonna see if I can make it. And he. He'd spent a long time making it, and it wasn't as good as if you wouldn't just bought one. Right. But it was cool. My dad, you know, made me one. I have pictures that, too. So it's made of wood. And he made it and put decals in it. He was proud of it. But we never got anything new. And I remember my friends would be over at the house, like, that's an interesting, like, credenza. I said, my dad built it. Like, what? Everything we had to build.

[Adam Carolla]

Your dad was like a fabricator.

[Carrot Top]

Yeah, he really was.

[Adam Carolla]

And that's kind of interesting. And he had a garage full of tools.

[Carrot Top]

Oh, every tool. And it marked, circled around with numbers on it, literally. So if you had a screwdriver, it would be outlined where it went. If it was gone. Seriously?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Carrot Top]

And you get your ass whooped if it was gone. That was my, my very first prop. It's so dumb, but it was, it was the very first that I. That I made. My dad, we lived in this, like the orange grove at the time, and there was a lot of. They were building homes and we take all the lumber and we. I built a fort, but I mean like a two story fort. I kind of got that from my dad. I was kind of crafty. So I did. Oh, yeah, came home one day and he said, where's my hammer? And I said, I don't know. And it was, you know, you see, it wasn't in the.

[Adam Carolla]

See the outline?

[Carrot Top]

And I said, I don't know. And he went looking, he went to my fort, came back, he says, huh, it's in your fort. I said, oh. And he goes, now I'm like nine. He says, how did it get in there? I said, I don't know. He said, he just walked in there by itself. So he went to work that day or that next day, and I went and I got. I found a doll and I screwed arms and legs on the hammer. And he came home from work and I said, it did walk in there, but now that's. Now I'm eight or nine. That's the first thing I actually made. And my dad looked at me like, the fuck is it? I said, I did walk in there. My dad just looked at me like. Like, where did you get. I said, I made it. Like, he was just dumbfounded that I made this hammer with legs and arms on it. But that's where it all. Yeah, that's what started the process of building stupid shit.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Carrot Top]

And now, 40 years later, hey, you're still building.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Carrot Top]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, I mean, for you, I made.

[Carrot Top]

One for Cialis in Viagra. The day, you know, this commercial said, get your Cialis Viagra from Friday plans. They deliver to your house on unmarked white envelopes. And I said, every time I watch this commercial, I want just the opposite. I want my neighbors to know that I've got Viagra. I want them the FedEx box coming in, sirens and whistles. So I built this FedEx box that's got sirens and wee wee. And I walk out my deck, you know, I got my Viagra. And it gets such elaborate. It's a silliness. But people seen the commercial and then they see the prop. And then you, you know, you end by saying it wasn't easy to make the kids in the sweatshop make it. I Just build it, you know?

[Adam Carolla]

How much your stuff do you make?

[Carrot Top]

Almost all of it. Unless it's. My dad would make a couple.

[Adam Carolla]

Your dad?

[Carrot Top]

When he was alive. Yeah. Well, because I would call him and if it was something that needed engineering to it, and it was be. It was like. Speaking of nascar, I know you both. I'm a big, huge race fan. I saw your cars in here. I'm a big fan of nascar. I don't know what the race was in Vegas or something. I said, I need a NASCAR joke. So I had this Tony Stewart, like, helmet, and I got these little nascars. And I had it in my head what I wanted, but I couldn't make it. So I called my dad and I said, dad, I need you to. Can you make this? And I'm trying to explain it to him. I faxed a picture of what I'm talking to him. He got it, and he goes, all right. So he went and got a motor and built it in, and then the car. And you hit a button and the cars would go around like this. So I said, this is what you wear if you can't go to the race, but you feel like you're actually there, right? And it's like the sound effect guy would hit the wrong.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Carrot Top]

And it's still on the. I haven't done it in the show in a while, but that's still. It's a classic. But, you know, my dad made it. And it. I was like, you know, how did you make. I said, my dad made it. He just said, I can make this.

[Adam Carolla]

That's. That's sweet. And I mean it.

[Carrot Top]

And, you know, I. I didn't pay him anything.

[Adam Carolla]

I built my kids lots of stuff. Cause I was a builder, and I liked it. Like, I liked the process. I liked what it was. You know what I mean? Like, I think it was sort of like the mom making you your favorite meal, you know, and taking all day to do it kind of thing, you know, Like, I thought that was cool. I've always done that. I've built my daughter. She wanted the raised bed with the drawers under it and all that kind of stuff. And I built her that. And then, son, I built, like, a loft bed and stuff. And I always liked. That was cool. Yeah, it's kind of an interesting thing in that. And I don't want to sound corny, but it's kind of love language, which is. I like doing stuff for people, like, tangible stuff. The guys that just do all the wordsmithing. It's great. But I like the physical, fixing stuff, like doing stuff that to me. And I like the roles. I like the mom making the favorite cake for their birthday and the dad in the garage making the gift. I'm fine with that. And I like it. And I think there should be more of it. And I do think there's a sanity in it. Like when you're in your workshop and you're trying to put something together and there's some, like, trial and error, and you're trying to figure it out and trying to kind of wrap your mind around it and design it. Like there's a real sanity in that. Like, you're not out of this. You're not worried about what Hamas is up to or what Sydney Sweeney's doing. It's just here. Workshop tools, Project tangible.

[Carrot Top]

Yeah, and my dad enjoyed that. He would love if I had something I could give him to fix and. And if it was a coaster, I would give it. And my impression of my dad would be the same. He. He would. I'd say, you know, this. There's something wrong with this thing. And he would. He would. He would have a cigarette and he'd go. And the smoke's going in his. In his eyes. And he. He'd go, all right. And he. He'd. He'd fix it. He'd come back 10 minutes later and go there, right? How did you do that? He's like, yeah, I got it.

[Adam Carolla]

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[Dawson]

This summer, Pluto TV is exploding with thousands of free movies. Summer of cinema is here. Feel the explosive action all summer long with movies like Gladiator, Mission Impossible, Beverly Hills Cop, Good Burger, and Transformers. Dark of the Moon. Bring the action with you and stream for free from all your favorite devices. Pluto tv. Stream now pay Never.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, once you get good.

[Carrot Top]

This is broken, by the way, my coaster.

[Adam Carolla]

Once you get good at solving problems, it becomes kind of universal, sort of mechanically. I've realized when you're just good at sort of sussing out problems and fixing problems and whatever that is, and they all contribute, all the different projects of life sort of contribute, then you kind of become an expert at almost everything. Your dad. Dad wasn't kind of an expert at everything because he'd done such a variety.

[Carrot Top]

Right.

[Adam Carolla]

Things. Right. So he built the house you guys grew up in.

[Carrot Top]

Yeah, and I did. We put on every damn tile. Everything. Everything. One thing my dad was infamous, I thought was kind of cool. Because, you know, my dad. I was at the age where I did. I. I thought, of course, the Space center was pretty cool. But, you know, I'm. I was the age. I didn't want to go to a launch. I didn't want to go, you know, I wanted to watch tv. I wanted to play my friends on my bikes. And he said, no, we're going to a launch. We're going to watch. And I was. I don't know how old. I. We had gone to the. I was probably 13. And I'm like, just miserable. We're going to watch the launch and.

[Adam Carolla]

Is that Cape Canaveral?

[Carrot Top]

Cape Canaveral. My dad, of course, is with all the astronauts. And I'm. We're just sitting there and he says, all right, what do you want? What do you want? There's, like, tents. They had a beer tent, and they had, like a soda, popcorn, candy, hot dogs, Coke, tent. I said, I'll just take, you know, hot dog, Coke. And my dad looked at the line, at the beer line. There was two people in the beer line, and it was like 50 people waiting for the hot dog. So my dad says, you're gonna have a beer. How old were you? 13? Yeah, 13. And I remember thinking it was just funny because I'm like, my dad's gonna give me a beer. My dad was not anywhere near cool enough to say, you're gonna have a beer. But he didn't want to wait in that line to get a Coke. So he just hands me this beer and I'm just like, like, okay. And he's like, well, try it. And I took, you know, I took a sip. He's like, no. I said, and don't tell your mom this, you know, of course. But I. I drank. I don't know how much of it I. I drank enough where I. I think I saw three launches. But, you know, first you come home. First thing you know, your mom says, oh, how was the launches? I got a. I had a beer, right?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Carrot Top]

I just told you not to.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. The rat now.

[Carrot Top]

But he built that. He built the what? You. I digress a little bit. But one night we're dinner table or something, and my dad was just stressed out. He just kept. I don't know, he just angered everybody and kept storming out. And my mom's like, he's working on something at work. So I went out to the. Where he worked, his workshop. I said, what are you working on? And he just looked at me like, do you want to know? And I said, yeah. So he takes this. This is crazy. He takes this little thing out. He shows me the space shuttle and the 747. And I said, okay, I've been watching that on TV. I saw him doing that. So he said, I have to invent. Not just him, a whole bunch of engineers and his team have to invent a clamp to hold the shuttle onto the 747.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Carrot Top]

Which they did outside.

[Adam Carolla]

It's miraculous.

[Carrot Top]

And then it has to release. They don't crash. It has to one hold right now. My dad's like, he's got to hold the strength of the heaviness of the shuttle, which is a billion pounds on top of 747, which is X amount of pounds. It's all numbers and graphs and charts and you need numbers. And he said, now it's got to release and then go up and this goes. And the shuttle comes and then has to land. And I'm like, that's what you're stressed about? He's like, yeah. I'm like, I don't think it's that hard, dad. He's like, it's a little hard, but that's the kind of shit my dad was like, working on. And they actually made that clamp and they landed out here at the California.

[Adam Carolla]

Edwards.

[Carrot Top]

Edwards. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

They're all watching.

[Carrot Top]

I remember my dad, like, he's at home and came home, he's like, he looked over me, he said, it worked. I said, I remember you in the workshop with your ruler and your numbers and your calculator.

[Adam Carolla]

That's crazy. Yeah. First off, I just went and looked at the shuttle that was at the Intrepid Museum in New York recently. I brought my son and I was like, it's incredible. The space shuttle is insane because a. It's big and it's heavy, and it rides on top of a 747, which sounds insane. And it weighs so much. That's when you really realize what a 747 can do. But the wings on the space shuttle offer lift as well. So it's not just the 747 lifting the entire weight of the shuttle. Shuttle. The shuttle's lifting itself because of its wings. But the thing that's crazy about the shuttle is when it comes back into Earth's orbit, it'll be like, over Spain or something. And then it'll go. It gotta land in the Mojave Desert and it has no power. It just glides.

[Carrot Top]

No, it just glides.

[Adam Carolla]

So you better get your calculations right, because you're over Ecuador or something, and you're gonna land in the Mojave Desert and you can't go around again. You don't have power.

[Carrot Top]

No, you get one. You get one shot.

[Adam Carolla]

You get one.

[Carrot Top]

One landing on the moon, that was one shot at that. They got one shot.

[Adam Carolla]

And at the very end.

[Carrot Top]

Well, they're not gonna come down.

[Adam Carolla]

This thing that weighs as much as 40 Cadillac SUVs, or 140 or 1,000, it just comes in at the very end. They just flare.

[Carrot Top]

And it just touches on his magical. Ever so softly. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

So your dad was on the team that designed that clamp, which is crazy because you gotta clamp it and you gotta release it.

[Carrot Top]

Right. And that's embedded over my headboard, by the way.

[Adam Carolla]

You gotta clamp and release. And you cannot damage the fuselage of.

[Carrot Top]

Yeah, no, it's a delicate piece of. The whole thing is just unbelievable. That's what it means. It's magic. It's like. And then people say, oh, I didn't really land on the moon. Oh, you know, I find that funny, too, because I'm one of guys that, like. If there were. If there's. If there was a billion people that worked at the Space center Since the 60s, there hasn't been one person that actually worked there that came out like a whistleblower that said, we didn't.

[Adam Carolla]

I feel like someone would come forward.

[Carrot Top]

I think someone would have come forward, but I think we landed on them as I think. Was it Buzz Aldrin? They just clocked that guy when he came out of the hotel. Yeah. He really didn't land on the moon. He did.

[Adam Carolla]

I think I did my first Toyota. A Long beach celebrity Grand Prix with Buzz Aldrin.

[Carrot Top]

Awesome.

[Adam Carolla]

He was a feisty old dude.

[Carrot Top]

Yeah. He punched this guy, right. And just knocked him right out.

[Adam Carolla]

He was what I would call serious. Yeah, he was a serious guy. Back when men used to be serious, you know.

[Carrot Top]

Yeah. They actually had hair in the chest.

[Adam Carolla]

Now they're all just wearing fan slip ons and have all the rope bracelets and shit, and they're drinking their energy drinks and they're not serious anymore. But he comes from a place where he was serious.

[Carrot Top]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

And he was like. I remember once I saw him and, you know, you'd see him and then you'd see him again. I go, buzz, where are you doing? I was at an F80 convention. Best airplane ever made. Like, I was okay, all right. Sorry. He almost punched me. He can't. Can Buzz Aldrin still be alive?

[Carrot Top]

Well, I don't know. I mean, the last time I saw. When he punched that guy out was not that long ago. He might still be alive. I think he's still alive.

[Adam Carolla]

He's falling under the heading of. Of he's too old to still be alive. But on the other hand, if he was dead, we'd know.

[Carrot Top]

Yeah, well, that's one of those.

[Adam Carolla]

But he could have died during COVID and anyone who died during COVID I have. No, he's still alive.

[Carrot Top]

He's still alive.

[Adam Carolla]

Is he like, 93 or something? He blew up, like, three Toyota engines, by the way. Yeah, he just. 95 years young, still punching ass.

[Carrot Top]

That's something we always say. We have that. We all do that backstage. But just someone the other day just died. I said, he's already dead. They said, no, no, he's not dead. Yeah, I thought, like, check mine. Joni was dead, like, 30 years ago.

[Adam Carolla]

And they go, lonnie Anderson was dead. Yeah, yeah. It's.

[Carrot Top]

We always do it like, oh, they're not.

[Adam Carolla]

No. But you know when you start realizing, you know, you got Norm and all these. All these people, you go, like, all right, well, who's the next class of dead people? And I think. I think you're talking to them. You know what I mean? Well, that's going to be the next wave. I mean, we do the math, right?

[Carrot Top]

We're not. You and me, we're still young pups, but.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, yeah, yeah, but you guys are listening buzz competed in 03. I think that was the first year I did it. I don't think he was that good, but he was very earnest.

[Carrot Top]

Yeah, I would think he would be.

[Adam Carolla]

But your dad was. Your dad was a serious guy.

[Carrot Top]

Oh, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

But he made you props for your show.

[Carrot Top]

Well, once in a while, you know, a few.

[Adam Carolla]

A few.

[Carrot Top]

I had. I had to make one that was really intense. I don't know how he did this, but there's a briefcase. I had the joke in my head. So this, the senator that was at the airport that tapped his toe to.

[Adam Carolla]

Get in the bathroom stall.

[Carrot Top]

Bathroom stall. Which already is. Like, I didn't even understand that story. Like, what is going on? Who goes to airport bathrooms and has this code where you tap your toe and get it? How long and why are you a senator and how are you. Why is this happening? And how is this happening?

[Adam Carolla]

How long would you have to sit on a toilet and a mini Minneapolis airport before a like minded gay jack pulled up in the stall next to you? Oh, no.

[Carrot Top]

So the joke was in my. And I did on the Tonight Show. It was great because they zoomed in. It was great. I. So I had it in my head. Oh, it's a brief. Yeah. But this, I'm. I'm shooting way far. Like, I'm not gonna get this prop made. Right. It would be amazing. There's a briefcase for a senator. That's what I'm thinking. And this leg comes down and a pant leg, a dress leg, and a dress shot.

[Adam Carolla]

Right?

[Carrot Top]

And it taps, right? And it comes back up into the briefcase.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. That's a tall order.

[Carrot Top]

Right? And I. So I. I call a couple prop builders and they're like, what? And my dad says, again, same thing. I fax a picture to him, drawing, and here's the arrow of it coming up, down. There's a. You make a button that taps and then the other button pulls back up.

[Adam Carolla]

Right?

[Carrot Top]

And he made it. And then I do it on the Tonight show and it's so topical because it just happened. So I said, dad, there's a time limit on this thing. Like, I need it, like in an hour.

[Adam Carolla]

You know, you're already booked for the Tonight show at this point.

[Carrot Top]

Yeah, I was booked. And I. And I.

[Adam Carolla]

What year was this?

[Carrot Top]

Well, whatever year, whatever the story was, it was that week. And my dad, of course, is in Cape Canaveral. I said, you know, just make it, you know, ship it to me. But I'm doing the Tonight show on, you know, Monday. And I just needed that because it was. It was the current joke.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Carrot Top]

And he. It just showed up and I did it, and it was. The camera guy rehearsed it, and the guy got it killed. And of course, the camera guy zoomed in, and you see him go, boo, Boo. Boo. Boom. It was great. And then it. You appreciate it. How do you come out of you doing this? I don't. Anything coming down.

[Adam Carolla]

I want to say, do they sell those?

[Carrot Top]

I'm like, no, they don't.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, well, Jay's a rancher. He should appreciate it.

[Carrot Top]

Oh, no, he always. He. He's a great friend of mine. Jay has been sweeter than any other. Always. Always has been grateful to me, just gracious to me.

[Adam Carolla]

Jay's great.

[Carrot Top]

Always. Anytime I need to do the show, I would do it. And he. You know, a couple times I would. I'd be back after the show, you know, He. He says. He says, yeah. I said, you know, thanks for always. You know, you give me, like, I was on, like, every four weeks or something, I would have a new set. And he goes, well, you know, you always bring the good. And I used to. I said. He said, you know how many times I get. I get comedians, and you come up to me in the airport and like, why Caretown? I said, oh, I'm sorry. He goes, no, no. I tell him. You know what I tell him? I said, because he always brings the goods. He always writes the jokes, you know, you know, I call you, you show up in the thing. That's a horrible JLo. That's right. But then. Then he falls down. You know, Jay, you know, he falls off a mountain going to a Sizzler or something. Winston, whatever the hell it was. He goes on stage with a. With. With. With blood all over himself. He just goes on stage and he's like, well, you know, the show must go on. You know, you go home and you go to the hospital. You take a day off. No, no.

[Adam Carolla]

You know, when he burned himself up, he didn't go. He went home.

[Carrot Top]

He went home.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah.

[Carrot Top]

I just saw him. I just saw him in Vegas a couple. A month ago, and I came back, and he still has a little bit of falling down. I said, by the way, how are you? How are you? I said, no, when you fell. He goes, hi. I said, well, but I watched all the clips. I said, you had, like, this huge. He said, yeah, yeah. I said, but you went on stage. He goes, yeah. I said, why did. Why did you. I wouldn't go. I broke my finger. I. Tony, I wouldn't go.

[Adam Carolla]

On stage.

[Carrot Top]

I said, I gotta cancel. I gotta fix my nail. He's like, no, you do it. I said, but you have blood on you. Did the crowd not, like, react? He goes, no. He just goes up there, like, yeah, forget the blood. I just fell down a mountain.

[Adam Carolla]

He's very stoked.

[Carrot Top]

It's unbelievable. Yeah, it's unbelievable.

[Adam Carolla]

He called me two weeks ago or something, and he just called, like, I think it was a Thursday or Friday. And he just goes, are you going to be at the Pabst Theater in Milwaukee Sunday night? I go, yeah. He goes, I got some friends who. They sold me Dodge Dart. Anyway. Anyway, here's the name. Make sure they're on there. I want to make sure they get that. I want to make sure they. They want to. They're big fans. They want to meet you backstage. They sold me a Dodge Dart.

[Carrot Top]

They got me a Dodge. They made a Dodge Dart.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. And he made sure that these people got to go hang out.

[Carrot Top]

That's great.

[Adam Carolla]

Backstage. That's just who he is.

[Carrot Top]

That's great, Jason. Just great.

[Adam Carolla]

I agree.

[Carrot Top]

I get to fly in his jet back to. We did the show when I night. And I. I made a joke.

[Adam Carolla]

You did a show on the Tonight Show.

[Carrot Top]

And I was going back to Vegas that night to do a show. I had come in, so I went back, you know, the makeup rooms right across from my thing. So I, I. Everyone was leaving, and he. And I said to the makeup. She goes, you going back now? And I said, yeah, I got. I have a show tonight. And she goes, I. I have a show tonight. And I said, where's your. You just did a show. He goes, no, in Vegas. You sure? I. Vegas? And I said, yeah. He says, you want to just go on the jet? And I'm like, not sure. And he's like, we're going right now. So me and my assistant, I said, all right. I gave him, like, my drink ticket from Southwest. He said, no, no, and 20 bucks for the gas. He's like. So we get on the jet, and we're just flying. And he's, you know, Jay. He's just. His head is so goddamn big. It's great. It's just Jay Leno. He's just. He's just. He's just. He's just one of those people. Just. I just. I've known him for years, but I'm just looking at him, and he's sitting there, and. And it had my notebook. It said Carrot Top. Like, I don't know what it is. So I just thought it's so surreal. There's Carrot Top and there's Jay. And he, we hit the worst turbulence ever going into Vegas. And he's sleeping and I'm, I'm like holding the thing and we're just jumping back and I look at my system back and I'm like, I'm, I'm, dear God, this is, oh my God. And J. Jay just wanted to bounce. He goes, looks over and I was making a joke. I was going to put it because he was sleeping. I was going to put a peanut like in his mouth. He was taking a picture of his penis mouth. I wasn't really going to do it, but I was like, let's take a pity of it. He wakes up, he says, it's a bumpy. I said, yeah, it's a little bumpy. You think? All right. I said, no, actually, I really am not. And he goes, well, I mean, it's probably an old line, but it worked on me. He goes, you know what would happen? He said, we'd crash. The newspaper's going to say Jay Leno died with two unknowns. And I said, well I, I said, you know, I, I, I, I could have done Letterman. I would have been known. You know, I did, I did pick you over. That kind of gives one of those, you know, Jay never just gives you a laugh. He just kind of goes, yeah, kind of a knowledge of like, okay, good one.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Carrot Top]

I said, I was on your show, I'm known. I said, just think if I did Letterman, oh my God, I'd be real, I'd be household known.

[Adam Carolla]

He just like, you ever do Letterman?

[Carrot Top]

Yeah, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

How many times you do Letterman?

[Carrot Top]

I did probably. Well, I did a lot of skits with him. A lot, a lot of skits where we were like, it was great. And he always was nice to me. Always. Same thing. He was estranged. I mean, right? Everyone knows David Letterman but homes.com.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, some might say homes.com is the best shopping site for homes. Maybe because they're super comprehensive, transparent agent directory. Or Maybe it's that homes.com is the only site that always directly connects you with the listing agent who knows the home the best. Perhaps apps. It's because homes.com has the most in depth neighborhood content of any home shopping site that's extensively researched to highlight the personality of each neighborhood. Or maybe it's all the above. That's what I think it is. Homes.com goes above and beyond to bring home shoppers the in depth info they need to find the right home. Homes.com that's homes.com. we've done your homework.

[Dawson]

This summer, Pluto TV is exploding with thousands of free movies. Summer of cinema is here. Feel the explosive action all summer long with movies like Gladiator, Mission Impossible, Beverly Hills Cop, Good Burger and Transformers. Dark of the Moon. Bring the action with you and stream for free. Free from all your favorite devices. Pluto TV stream now pay. Never.

[Adam Carolla]

See. You know, I got a lot, I learned a lot from Letterman in that I, I, you can kind of, I told everyone, you can kind of tell who Ellen was because her staff would be was scared. And so when people are scared who work for you, it says something about you. And I worked with a guy named Daniel who worked on the man show and he was kind of one of Letterman's favorite guys during that time. And he came up with all these funny ideas and they hung out and he always used to tell me, me, you know, Letterman was a great guy and I think he was in many respects. But at some point I ended up doing Letterman and Daniel, who was working on the man show with me, came with me as a kind of a homecoming return to Letterman. So he'd been with Letterman for 10 years and then he left and he did Rosie O' Donnell show.

[Carrot Top]

Who?

[Adam Carolla]

She said she's the absolute, she's the worst. Maybe Alan could give her a run. But anyway, that was a cutie patootie chub club era. That's when people thought Rosie was nice because she was overcompensating. But anyway, then he went to, he did Vibe and then he did the Man Show. And so we came back and I went out, I was doing panel, but I crushed it. I put together a whole thing and Dave loved it. And it was a whole, I was doing stand up, but sitting down, but I worked out a whole bit and the audience loved it and everything was great. And we got back to my dressing room and everyone was like, oh, great set. It was great. It was great. And then Daniel, who the most upfront, kind of forward guy I've ever met, like, he's the only guy when we were doing the man show, we'd go to strip clubs, run up a bill for like 2000 bucks, just drinking and hanging out, and then we'd give the bill to the producers and go. We were doing a recon for juggies. We're scouting talent. And they'd go. It looked to me like you guys were just drinking, drinking. It's like, well, we're working, so you pay, right? Daniel's the most ballsy guy in the world because when we gave this receipt to Stone Stanley for two grand for us hanging out at a strip club doing nothing, they were like. They said to us, they go, we will pay this time, but we're not going to underwrite you guys. Hanging out at strip clubs, drinking. This is not what work. And when they told us that, me and Jimmy were like, okay, good. We get our. You know, get the money. But Daniel, like, stood up, and he went that. We're going to her office and we're gonna. This is. And I was like, are you. No. I'm not gonna go in there and start yelling at them for not paying for booze at a strip club when all we're doing is hanging around drinking at a strip club. You know, I'm not getting up. I'm not that. You know what I mean? He was outraged. He was like, we're going in there right now. So that's the kind of guy he was. When he finished with Letterman, we were in my dressing room, and some guy, segment producer, something came back, and the segment producer was like, oh, it was a killer set, and what great night. Blah, blah, blah. And Daniel got sheepish, and he went to the guy. He's like, is Dave up in his office? And the guy's like, yeah, he's up there. You think it'd be cool if I went up and said, hi? And the guy said, I don't know.

[Carrot Top]

Oh, Letterman.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, Letterman. And at a certain point, I could see him wrestling with it, like, I don't know what kind of moods he gonna be in or whatever. And at some point, he just went, I don't think I'm gonna go, I'm not going up there. Let's just go to dinner. And we did. But I would say to him all the time, stop saying he's a cool guy. Because if that's Leno or Jimmy Kimmel or anybody, and you were a favorite, you went and you produced that hit TV show. And now you come back, you just.

[Carrot Top]

Walk right up, right up and say, hi.

[Adam Carolla]

Say hi. Anyone I know would do that, but not Letterman.

[Carrot Top]

Well, I would say that's the only thing that I knew about doing the show is that very, very scared crew. Eggshells, right?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Carrot Top]

So I had done it one time, and I was there. There's that little green room, and then they come. He comes down from the elevator, and they clear that room out so we can go on stage, right? So I'm like. They're like, oh, we have to. We have to get everybody out. Dave's coming down So I said, okay. And, like, look paranoid, right? So they all. We move out of this room. He goes. He. He. He goes by. I'm standing kind of like, out of the way. He goes by, and he said, thanks for doing this. And I remember he had a ball cap on, very tan. It's weird to. You remember. So tan, tall, a ball cap, a pencil, and his. Whatever. His cigar. And he just said, you know, in his way, like, thanks for doing this. And I said. I said, are you kidding me? And I said. I said something like, you know, the best thing in my life or something. And he goes out the door to the stage. We all go back in the room. He comes back in. He says. He looks right. He says, the best day of your life. All right? And the girl, they freaked out. I've never seen a staff go, he never does that.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Carrot Top]

I go, what? He never speaks to anybody. He must really like you. Like, he would never. Not only say anything to you, but he wouldn't come back in a second time and address you. So he always was nice to me and never was.

[Adam Carolla]

He was nice.

[Carrot Top]

He's probably like me, you know, he'd probably, you know, mean. I'm just saying that they were scared of him.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, they were scared of him, not scared of Jay.

[Carrot Top]

Hey, Jay. They could cur right in front of Jay. It's not your show. I said, what's his Tonight Show? Jay Leno. It's not his show. You can't do the joke. And I'm like.

[Adam Carolla]

But I. Yeah, no, they didn't. No fear of Jay.

[Carrot Top]

One clip. I got to tell you about them. Tonight's my favorite clip of.

[Adam Carolla]

Wait. I wanted to see the clip of the shoe and the suitcase.

[Carrot Top]

One of that would be. I know. If it's not on the Tonight Show. For sure. I know there was one on. Come. God. What was the show? Show. I think I did a guest spot as a celebrity guest on last comic. Me and Louie Anderson came out and did like a Louie. We did like a. Yeah, I can't. So we did this guest thing where we came out and did like a. You know, we were the pros. And then they had even. They had great comic Kathleen Madigans, these great comics and that. I remember doing it. I remember the camera zoomed in on it really nicely in that one, too. So that one and the Tonight show one. This is. This is my favorite Tonight Show.

[Adam Carolla]

What would you Google in to find this pro God.

[Carrot Top]

Hilarious. Carrots Hop. Last comic standing. Because I was only on it.

[Adam Carolla]

Briefcase.

[Carrot Top]

Briefcase. Senator. Briefcase. Foot prop. It might come up.

[Adam Carolla]

Was Mel Gibson the other guest on the Tonight Show? Yeah, yeah, yeah, he was.

[Carrot Top]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, then it must.

[Carrot Top]

It might be on that one.

[Adam Carolla]

Probably found that episode. Yeah, yeah, that was. I still never got to the bottom of the guys in a Minneapolis airport.

[Carrot Top]

No. No one ever got to the bottom. I mean, the guy got to the bottom of something, but. Yeah. I just thought, this is. This is a prop. I gotta do it. Yeah. Mel Gibson was. Because he had a. He had a kiln, a kiln. And I came out with a kiln. You found it. All right, let's see if we can find it.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, let's see if we can see how the camera works on the. On the light. What year would you estimate this to be?

[Carrot Top]

Oh, man, I don't. 2005. 2005.

[Adam Carolla]

2005.

[Carrot Top]

Is that late?

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know. 95.

[Carrot Top]

95, 95. Yeah. I'm old. I'm old as dirt. Shit, could be night. I was on the jack parr.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, let's see if we can.

[Carrot Top]

Find this, the other one, while we look for it. I'll tell you.

[Adam Carolla]

And your dad built this.

[Carrot Top]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

That is so cool. And he like overnighted it to you, strapped it to a 747 and slided it right into the studio. Jesus Christ. Listen, let me say something about parents and dads and stuff. I want to say. I get a lot of people going. I didn't get anything. My dad's always at work or something. It was tough on me or whatever, something. And then they start telling stories and it doesn't sound that bad.

[Carrot Top]

Sounds pretty good, right? It wasn't. I mean, my dad was a hard ass, but it worked out. I mean, I heard my brother. We both worked out we'd do okay. I think the discipline is actually very important. That's why I think we did.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. All right.

[Carrot Top]

I mean, if I did home from school and I didn't, you know, was home by street lights out, I was getting my ass whooped.

[Adam Carolla]

No, no, I. It. It's. There's a reason for it. It's good. All right. Sorry.

[Carrot Top]

The clip here, see if they got it.

[Adam Carolla]

My next guest an event of comedian.

[Carrot Top]

Who'S taking America by storm.

[Scott Thompson]

He can be seen at the Cincinnati.

[Carrot Top]

Ohio on June 2nd.

[Scott Thompson]

Please give a warm welcome to Carrot.

[Carrot Top]

Oh, God, I'm probably 12 in this. Hi, everybody. Oh, I had a kill. See, he had a kilt on. I came out and killed. But then I made it a prop. Look. Wait, I make it a prop.

[Adam Carolla]

See, how did you do the kilt that fast?

[Carrot Top]

Well, watch. I. I had a watch. I made it backstage. I said, like. Then I made him into pants. As you can see, not all men look good in dresses, as you can see, because he had. He had this big hairy legs. Wow. I come from North Carolina, though. If I was caught wearing a dress, I'd be killed. So I made this as an invention. You just pull these things down like that. Like, voice. I'm talking like, dang, I made it right for the show. Yeah.

[Scott Thompson]

All right.

[Carrot Top]

I got tons of stuff. I hope they. I hope they have the braces. The dogs won't sniff your. Well, anyway, I didn't think you're at the point there. I don't even know what that is. Get down. All right, one time.

[Adam Carolla]

Spaghetti colander on a belt.

[Carrot Top]

Yeah. But I don't know what the hell the joke was.

[Adam Carolla]

Dog's not sniffing your junk.

[Carrot Top]

Oh, and that's one for me. Okay. Okay. I hope the briefcase won't. One comes, because here's a baseball bat for replacement players. They'll get a hit. Come on now. Hit the ball. Oh, I had a better one, though, because it used to have a clacker on it.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, replacement.

[Carrot Top]

This one. This is for really bad baseball players. This way, they sound like they get a hit at least. And see, the. The drummer shouldn't have hit the cymbal when I did it.

[Adam Carolla]

You are 100, right?

[Carrot Top]

You never strike out. You always get a foul tip. I hit it. I hit part of it. I hit bar. I hit farm. And of course, baseball is back, but attendance is way down at the park. This way, there's more people in. In the audience.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, you can fast forward, see.

[Carrot Top]

If we can find.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't mind watching this, but I, I do.

[Carrot Top]

Your audience is popping it.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah. It's.

[Carrot Top]

It's a briefcase is. Hopefully it's.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, you guys have to look for the. You look for the briefcase and you.

[Carrot Top]

And while you. I tell you that my favorite Tonight showing. So I, I, I have this.

[Adam Carolla]

How many times you do the tonight show?

[Carrot Top]

Like 30 something.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow.

[Carrot Top]

Standards and practices, lady. She loved me and hated me. Same woman who've been there for a thousand years. I show up and I, I would do my thing, rehearsal, and she's like, oh, you can't, you know. No. So I have this Bill Clinton podium. It's like my closing bit, right? It's a podium. It's got a. It's got a, A buzzer on the. It's got true, false, and I'D have buttons. You go, eh. I did not. I did. Bing, ding. Right, Right. So it's funny enough, it's good. But then I thought, I need the big punchline. So. But up from behind comes Monica Lewinsky. Head behind the. Right behind the thing. So that big ending is. Right. I did not have. And then his head, it's a barrette, the whole braid. And. And the vision. I said, you know, not now.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Carrot Top]

The end. And it destroys, right? Rehearsal. They're going nuts. And Jay's like. He's sitting over there. How do you. Then she comes over and I said, she's like, everything. I said, everything's good. I've never had him say, everything's good. All good. She said, only one thing. I just think, are you going to podium? She's. Yep. You just can't force her head down. I said, what do you mean? She's like, you can't put your hand on top to push it down.

[Adam Carolla]

It can come up.

[Carrot Top]

It can come up, but you can't push it down. Down, Right? So I say to the prop guys, can you rig something? I had a foot pedal. Can you rig it where it. It goes up and then it goes down. And they. They're, you know, it's an hour for the show. They're like, no. And I'm up there, it's live, and I'm. I do it. It's the last joke. And the fucking head comes up and I. I use my elbow because they said I can't use my hand. I got so much trouble. I mean, trouble in a sense. I mean, kill. But then they said we had to bleep it out of. On the East West Coast. I'm like, what? Because you can't. On the East Coast. Saw me force her head and force it down. You know, it's like, not now. You know, not now.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Carrot Top]

But she said, you can't use your hand. So I'm thinking, all right, I use my elbow.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Weird technical stuff.

[Carrot Top]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Always nuts with the censorship. So funny. I Now I turn on Fox or cnn, watch the news, and people are just cussing away.

[Carrot Top]

Oh, yeah. No, they.

[Adam Carolla]

They were always insane about that innuendo, even.

[Carrot Top]

Yeah. And you watch the time, you're like, the whole bit was a BJ joke. And then I can't say, you know, I mean, it was like the whole bit would be.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Carrot Top]

And mine was just silly. They're like, the whole monologue was about a blowjob. How come I can't say.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. It's almost like they needed to intervene at some point, right? You know?

[Carrot Top]

Well.

[Adam Carolla]

When Jimmy and I did Crank Yankers, the puppet show, it was called prank puppets. And at some point we got on the phone with the standards and the legal team at Comedy Central, and they're like, we can't use prank puppet. And I was like, what are you talking about? And they're like, well, it implies some malice. Like we could get sued or something, Something. And I was like, first off, when you do a show, you give it a name. So you know what it is, right? And we just been calling it prank. We gotta do so and so's gonna work on prank puppets. And we get this guy riding on it, whatever. We call it prank puppets for a long time. And then at the end, we're getting ready to launch, and they're like, can't call it prank puppets. And I was like, I don't get what is. What do you mean prank puppets? Why can't you. You can't do it. And they're like, legal team shit. And I was. Me and Jimmy were on the phone with these guys and we were in New York and I think I was in his hotel room and I was going nuts. I was going insane. I was like, what are you talking about? And they're like, well, if we ever get sued and they bring up the name, it's going to look a lot of liability for us. I was like, you better hope they bring up prank and puppet. And that says no damages. It's got the word prank and puppet in it. And it was weird, but I realized sometimes I think they just feel like they gotta flex a little bit. Like, I can't sit here and do nothing show after show. At some point I have to, like, intervene or object or something because otherwise what am I doing here? But yeah, it's funny. The nuance of it all. None of it makes sense. None of it.

[Carrot Top]

Listen.

[Adam Carolla]

Lives anywhere. We used to get in arguments with Comedy Central on underwear versus underpants and stuff like that. Like, I don't even know what they were. We said to them once, how much ass crack can we show? And they're like, what do you mean? I was like, well, you watch SNL in the 70s and Dan Aykroyd's playing the Norgeman repairman or whatever. They're showing Ask crack. So they're showing like an inch and a half of ass crack, but at some point becomes 8 inches ass crack. And that's a bare ass, right? And they go, we'll get back to you. And they go, three quarter Ass crack. You can show three quarter ass crack. So immediately, Daniel, the guy didn't want to talk to Lenman, so he goes, we need three quarter ass crack shorts for all the chunkies. O'Reilly Auto Parts. Yeah. Want to keep your car on the road? Well, that's their business. O'Reilly Auto Parts. O'Reilly Auto Parts offers friendly, helpful service parts and the knowledge you need to maintain and do repairs. In the last, like two weeks, I got a battery jumper box from O'Reilly. I got the sawdust you throw down to sop up all the hydraulic fluid. Had a hose bust on a hoist. Now I got the water wetter getting ready for the race car. Got to put it in the radiator. So whether you're a car aficionado or an auto novice, you'll find the employees at O'Reilly Auto Parts are knowledgeable, helpful, and best of all, they are friendly. So stop by O'Reilly Auto Parts, do it today. Or you can visit us online@o'reillyauto.com Adam that's o'reillyauto.com Adam. Adam.

[Dawson]

This summer, Pluto TV is exploding with thousands of free movies. Summer of cinema is here. Feel the explosive action all summer long with movies like Gladiator, Mission Impossible, Beverly Hills Cop, Good Burger and Transformers. Dark of the Moon. Bring the action with you and stream for free from all your favorite devices. Pluto TV stream now, pay never.

[Carrot Top]

No, you're right. They have to come in somehow. We did AT&T commercials forever. And one of the number one rated ones that I had was, I would say, call down the center with 1-800-whatever C A L A T. It's free for you and cheap for them, which is, you know, and I took the phone, I was free for you and cheap for them. And I hit the pay phone with it. I said, free for you and cheap. It's that easy. And instead of hanging the phone up, I just banged the thing. And I guess kids just thought that was great. And AT&T lost their minds. They said, you can't. We had to pull the thing and not run it because you were defacing the property or product.

[Adam Carolla]

Right, right.

[Carrot Top]

I'm like. But the kids laugh. It's like the gene one. I mean, what's up with the jeans and the chicken? The jeans. What is the problem here? I don't understand the whole problem.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Carrot Top]

I don't understand the.

[Adam Carolla]

Eventually, eventually it all goes away.

[Carrot Top]

Of course it does.

[Adam Carolla]

And then nobody cares.

[Carrot Top]

But then again, it's like, is it just because people just have nothing else to tell. They have to have something now. They need a new topic. So, oh, my God. Now we're gonna go up in arms and we're start defacing gene ads. Burning down the gene ads, throwing at the gene ad in New York. It's like. It's a. It's a goddamn gene ad. Like, nothing's different than what we've always had. And it's a dumb ads up here. Something out of it.

[Adam Carolla]

Everything is symbolic. We're still looking for this shoe case.

[Carrot Top]

Oh, yeah, it's got. Dang it.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, maybe last comic. No. Was it last comic?

[Carrot Top]

It was last comic standing. If it's not on that Jay Leno one.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, so here's the thing. We live in a society that doesn't really have problems in the sense that. That poor people have cell phones and big screen TVs and can eat sushi. You know what I mean? Poor people used to traditionally not be able to participate in lots of things. But if you have a cell phone, you're pretty much richer than anybody who was around 50 years ago. I mean, in terms of your life, it's a device. That's insane. And the chasm. I mean, it's kind of an interesting thing. When we were young, there was rich people and there were poor people. And we were like, poor people. So we didn't have air conditioning, but rich people had air conditioning. And we didn't have cars that ran well, but they had cars that ran well and they had lots of stuff. Now you're poor. I mean, poor. You know, you work. You know what I mean? But you still go out and eat. You still have a TV with all the streaming services, and you got your smartphone and you got your. You driving. You know, Leonardo DiCaprio drives a Toyota Prius. You know, like, why not? Who cares? Air conditioning, satellite radio. But we had, like, problems back then. Now we don't really have problems. And when you. When you take away the problems, people start fixating on stuff. Like, you know, if your problem is like, malaria and clean water and shelter, then you don't care what Sweeney's up to. And you don't really care about gene ads. Cause you got kind of bigger fish to fry, you know, but we've eliminated a lot of that stuff. And also there's a lot of people that are just sort of weirdly activated. Like they're just walking around with their head on a swivel looking for something to bitch about. And I'm like, why are you reading everything into nothing? Why? All right, it's a gene ad. Buy the genes or don't buy the.

[Carrot Top]

Genes because it comes like. Right. Exactly. It also becomes a big social media sensation, and then everyone jumps on it. Because most people, if you ask them, like, what happened on Gene? What are you talking about?

[Adam Carolla]

Well, also, you don't need to have a real strong opinion on every. Everything.

[Carrot Top]

See, I have skinny jeans for fat guys. That's a great prop. It's a big pair of jeans and it's got little skinny jeans that are sewn in the middle so it looks. When you, when you wear them, it looks like that's a great problem.

[Adam Carolla]

So you sit around, you think of these things, and you go to your workshop.

[Carrot Top]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

And now that your dad's passed.

[Carrot Top]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

You got to farm some of it out. Some of the mechanical stuff.

[Carrot Top]

I have a prop guy in town that does pretty amazing stuff. Vegas. I can go to him and he'll, He'll. I'll get it. I'll get it to you.

[Adam Carolla]

Does he bid it or she just go, this is time and materials.

[Carrot Top]

I know for that.

[Adam Carolla]

How do you bid, you know, something like a foot coming out of it?

[Carrot Top]

I paid for, for some things, prop things in the past, like, a lot. For a big, intense prop, this guy would just, he'll just, you know, for a beer, he'll do it. He'll say, ah, you know, he works on my crew. He's like, give me an hour, I'll make it. And he comes up with it. He goes and finds the motors and finds. Like I said, it's always engineering ones. Otherwise I can build it myself. I just, I usually make them all myself.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Carrot Top]

But if I can't get it, you know, if it's really like that, you'll see that we ever find the shoe. And it's intense.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, NBC, the last comic standing is scrubbed.

[Carrot Top]

Oh, it's not there.

[Adam Carolla]

It's not on the Internet. Some, Some companies don't put their stuff on the Internet.

[Carrot Top]

You know, at one time I, I did. I did the, The. I did a. We. If anything, I'm trying to find. I was on Regis and Kathleen with Trump. And it's just a great clip because I, I come out what year approximately again. That's going back. Well, here's the real. Here's the weird thing. You can find the. It'll say Carrot Top, Donald Trump, Angel Featherstone, or Silverstone, the actress, but there's no clip.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh.

[Carrot Top]

So they have the thing. So I called ABC and I said, you know, I've been, I've been doing that Show Kelly, whatever region to Regis and whatever. Now it's called thousands of shows.

[Adam Carolla]

Alicia Silverstone.

[Carrot Top]

And I. So it says, Alicia Silverstone, Carrot Top, Donald Trump. I mean, it's like, in the right. So I said, can I just get the clip? And they said, what do you want? I said, I just want to show it in my show because it's kind of cool. I walk out and Donald Trump says to me, shakes my hand. And he said. I said, it's great. I said to him, I said, it's great to be in a show. I don't have the dumbest hair. And he just thought that was the crazy. And he went, what? And everyone laughed. And he made me, like, touch his hair. Like, he kept. I said, no, I'm good. No, touch it. And he took my hand and he made me like this. And I said, now tell everybody. And I said, said, tell him what? He said, tell him it's real. I said, I didn't say it was not real. I said it was dumb hair.

[Adam Carolla]

Right?

[Carrot Top]

And it would just be such a great clip of the. ABC won't give it. And they said, we can't give it to you because, like, you just said, if you. If you ever air it, you know, we're putting you in prison. You know, that kind of thing. I'm like, oh, for God's sakes. I. I just want it for my. My. My archives, right? And they said, okay, but you can't ever air it. Then I'm like, I can show it my show. No.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Carrot Top]

Well, so, you know, at one point, I'm like, all right, I'm just not going to show it. And then I'm going to get it. I'm going to show it. Take me to jail. I'm not good in jail, probably, by the way.

[Adam Carolla]

It's just rules, but they don't really.

[Carrot Top]

I'm not cute to you, but in prison, I might be. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, I'd be your prison. I'd be eight and a half.

[Carrot Top]

I'd be Carrot Bottom. Thank you.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, I'll tell you, you'd make a good prisoner because you're crafty.

[Carrot Top]

And I'd be like, I built something to get us out of here, you guys. I got this. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

I'd be like, hook up some pruno in the toilet, would you? I want to catch a buzz. And. Yeah, let's break out of this place. All right, let's see. Legacy media is dying. Yeah, someone wrote that on there. But, yeah, this is why it drives me nuts, because I've tried to look for stuff and it gets scrubbed and they act like something's gonna happen if you air it in your show. But nothing will ever happen. Well, what'll happen is people will laugh and enjoy it.

[Carrot Top]

Well, you guys can find, if you want just something they can't find. The link leg one. The. The Gallagher probably will come up carrots up Gallagher, where he comes on stage and pushes me. Yeah, it's pretty intense.

[Adam Carolla]

I. I've. We kind. I somehow we got hold of Gallagher late in his life and he was building some sort of trapeze on his property where he like bungee jumped. Bungee himself, like back and forth and. And he just kind of lost it. Yeah, I guess. And I don't at the end and he seemed like he got angry. And it's also weird and sad, you know what I mean? That you have to be. I was just watching the speech boys doc I was telling you about. Somehow Brian Wilson's dad sold all the publishing rights to all the songs and never informed anyone and made sold it for 700 grand, probably worth $100 million. And this guy wasn't talking to that guy. And then that guy sued this guy. And it's always like why? Why does it have to end this way? Why is it always this? Can't you just be the Beach Boys?

[Carrot Top]

I want to sell my catalog, you know, all my props. That'd be a great bit. That'd be a great bit. You know, Carol tops. It'd be something silly like it's like all literally 1995. Just. Just that for all of it.

[Adam Carolla]

I mean the suitcase with the foot in it, just for the parts alone, it's worth several thousand dollars I parted out.

[Carrot Top]

But yeah, that was like Louie Anderson's bit when he says about the going to the yard sale with his mom. One of my favorite bits he would do. And I'm going to mess it up, he said, with a yard sale. And my mom says, how much for the toast? And they said it's $5. And he says $5, you should get it. And his mom's like, that's too much. And he goes, the cord alone is worth $5.

[Adam Carolla]

We have Gallagher on stage. Here we go now. When was this?

[Carrot Top]

Oh God, I wish I knew. I'm horrible at years, as you know. I think it's 20, 25 now, right?

[Adam Carolla]

Yep.

[Carrot Top]

So this would be probably 10 years ago. Go.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, maybe.

[Carrot Top]

So I come out, I just done my finale. I don't know why I have my shirt is off. Cuz I did something and here Comes Gallagher, and he's pushing, shows me on the ground, all the way down the thing. He comes out, grabs a watermelon, and. And then he comes. And then he yells at me and says, it was horrible. This is the stupidest thing that I've ever done. And the crowd. You can hear the crowd. They're going crazy. It's Gallagher. And then he yells at me afterwards, threw me to the ground. And the. For me, as a. As being one of my favorite comedians in the world, he came to the show, like I told you, five days in a row.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Carrot Top]

And he wore that same shirt.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Carrot Top]

And he had. I mean, he had not only holes in it, it was like food on it. It was. It was. He was a wreck.

[Adam Carolla]

He was in decline.

[Carrot Top]

And I said, hey, as it. As. And I could never say this, and, I mean, I'd say, hey, if I got you a. I don't want to say, you've been the same shirt five days. I said, if I got you a Carrot Top. No, I said, nice shirt. And he goes, well, if I had a Carrot Top shirt, I said, if you had one, you'd wear one. He goes, yeah. So I. That guy's got a carrot. And I. That was my favorite part of the whole Watching that clip was, you know, Gallagher, when I was 11, 12 years old, was trying to admire and write jokes. When was he wearing my. My logo? I'm like, this is. This is cool. You know, him wearing my shirt. It was just. I can't believe.

[Adam Carolla]

What year did Gallagher die?

[Carrot Top]

And, boy, not that. Three. Three years ago.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. See, that's the thing. You say three years, but it's probably nine years ago or something like that.

[Carrot Top]

No, it's probably.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, you would know.

[Carrot Top]

I think you're bigger because I do a big. I do a tribute. I did a tribute to him.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, you did a tribute to him. So you would. You would know.

[Carrot Top]

I have it in my show. I do a whole story about meeting him and going to the show, and it's a crazy bit, and I. I. And I made this prop that shoot. It's a watermelon explosion thing, and it took. It took a year to make. Make it a year. Yeah, you're right.

[Adam Carolla]

Three years ago. You're right.

[Carrot Top]

Yeah. And the day that I. The night that I. I did it, he died.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, really?

[Carrot Top]

Well, I did it that night, and it. It just killed. It was like this huge finale thing. You know, I came out, and the Strobes are going crazy, and there's watermelon, but it's It's a. It's a machine. It's like, it weighs like 8,000 pounds. And the hammer itself is. It weighs about 90 pounds. Pounds. Because you have to hit this thing for it to go off and explode. It just shoots all this shit out of the crowd. I do it and I'm like, I've waited a year. Almost three years, actually. I thought I wrote it during COVID so five years ago. So I finally do it. Boom. It's this amazing ending. And I. We're all backstage going, holy moly, this is a great ending to the show. Now, I woke up the next morning and my phone blowing up. Gallagher died. Gallagher died. Gallagher died. And I remember thinking, you got to be kidding me. Because I was just going to invite him out to see, really. And I make jokes that night. I said, he's either going to love it or he's going to sue me.

[Adam Carolla]

Right?

[Carrot Top]

Because that was him. He'd go, I don't get it. I'd say, it's an homage to you. He would say, I don't get the stupid. Why are you hitting a water? Because I tell the whole story about you. And then the thing. And then he just wouldn't have gotten it. He probably would have been really angry with me.

[Adam Carolla]

Jimmy Kimmel and I wrote a full length feature screenplay called Kill Gallagher.

[Carrot Top]

Oh, how great. Yeah, I love it already. Kill Gallagher.

[Adam Carolla]

It was a crazy story. I've said it a few times. I won't bore everybody, but it was basically some impoverished tribe that was in some sun blasted part of Africa. And it started with all the dead crops and everything. It hadn't rained in a year, and everyone's impoverished and everyone's emaciated and whatever. And it actually began because there was a band called Dishwalla.

[Carrot Top]

Yeah, I remember that.

[Adam Carolla]

And they came in to Loveline once and Drew said, where'd you get the name Dishwalla? And they said, well, that's what they call the guys who set up the satellite dish in these faraway, impoverished places. One guy's a satellite, and all of a sudden they're in this no man's land. All of a sudden they're watching Dynasty and Falcon Crest and stuff, and it's just gotta be weird. Weird. And Drew said, imagine watching a Gallagher concert and it's all these people emaciated and he's holding up. And so the thing was like, he'd hold a giant watermelon up and the whole village would be staring at the tv.

[Carrot Top]

Oh, yes.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, yes. And he'd put it down and like, what? And then he'd mash it. And at some point they're all outraged.

[Carrot Top]

Right, right.

[Adam Carolla]

And they were like, this is insane. And they really thought he was like a pro produce, smashing God. And he was the reason they had. They had drought, no rain and whatever. Like, if they could get rid of.

[Carrot Top]

You, could still make that.

[Adam Carolla]

And they took the up. The one up brave the screw the screwed up guy. And they're like, give him all our belongings, go find him in Las Vegas and go kill Gallagher.

[Carrot Top]

Go kill Gallagher. I like it. That's a good movie.

[Adam Carolla]

Simultaneously, have you. There was another kid in Michigan who was like a teenage virgin. It was like a 17, 18 year old virgin. He had his jack off buddy with him. And they were watching the Gallagher concert at the same time. And the guy kept saying, the older cool guy, it's like, we gotta get you laid. And he's like, I'm in this little town in Michigan, everyone knows me. It's not gonna work. No one likes me. And they're like, if you could get to Vegas, they got call girls there, they have bunny ranches, like, will you get us to Vegas? And they're like, we don't have any money. We don't have anything. And it's like, like, then a Make a Wish foundation commercial comes on and I go, what if we said you were sick and you wanted to see Gallagher, like it's your dying request. So now the Make a Wish guy's showing up to see Gallagher at the Gallagher concert, along with the warrior guy who's gonna try to kill him at the same time. And, you know, hilarity ensues. But it was called Kill Gallagher.

[Carrot Top]

Kill Yard's a good movie.

[Adam Carolla]

I would watch that movie.

[Carrot Top]

Yeah. Did you ever see Dave Chappelle, Black Gallagher? No. You can find that. That you'll lose your mind. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Black Gallagher.

[Carrot Top]

Gallagher. Dave Chappelle. It's just. He's just, he's. He's just. He's Black Gallagher. He's got the mountain. But it's Dave Chappelle and he's just like, you know, he just. It's brilliant. Yeah, Black Gallagher. Yeah, Dave.

[Adam Carolla]

Black Gallagher.

[Carrot Top]

Dave Chappelle. Black Gallagher.

[Adam Carolla]

That exists somewhere.

[Carrot Top]

No. It does.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, well, let me make sure you got your plugs going over.

[Carrot Top]

He's. That he's getting.

[Adam Carolla]

All right. He'll find that. You can go on Instagram and YouTube, by the way, at Carrot Top Live. Oh, black. I've never seen black.

[Carrot Top]

You're going to like this.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, here it is.

[Carrot Top]

Where are mass destruction? That's what I'm talking about. Osama bin Laden. Why don't they call them Osama? Been hiding, man. Come on. Look, he's getting my outfit. The queer guys came by and had.

[Adam Carolla]

An eye for me.

[Carrot Top]

Pink hearts, yellow moons, green clovers, orange stars. That leprechaun's on acid has teeth in his middle. And that's how Gallagher would do his walk. He's crazy.

[Adam Carolla]

God, that's so funny.

[Carrot Top]

Easy like me. Are you ready to smash some fruit? Ready to smash some fruit? Can't hear you. Yeah, you want to smash some fruit?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Carrot Top]

The black cow doesn't go out like no punk bitch with a mallet. He go, jesus.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow. He's shooting it. All right. That's funny.

[Carrot Top]

Black Gallagher doesn't shit.

[Adam Carolla]

He shot. Black Gallagher's, like, the funniest. All right, this is why we love Chappelle. That's totally insane. Also, it's like, it's the kind of thing you'd pitch. And the executives at Comedy Central go, I have no idea what the fuck they're talking about. And then two guys would be in the room, like, laughing their nutsack off, celebrating 20 years at the Luxor this November. 40 years in show business, and now the world has come around, and they're in love. They came around and they're in love with Carrot Top. But don't stick around too long, because they'll turn. It's coming again.

[Carrot Top]

There's another wave. Yeah, the little happy wave. We love you. And then. No, no. When are you going to. When are you going away?

[Adam Carolla]

No, I'll never do it. The Great Scott, Scott Thompson, everybody. You can go down crawl.com for all my live shows everywhere, and I'll come see you next time in Vegas, hopefully. Yeah, I'd love to do that.

[Carrot Top]

I've seen you in Vegas, too.

[Adam Carolla]

So till next time, Adam, for Scott saying mahalo. You can leave us a voicemail at 888-634-1744 and get tickets to see Adam Corolla at AdamCola.com.

[Carrot Top]

Foreign.

[Dawson]

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