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Adam Carolla
Well, this episode, it's just me and Mayhem, and we're just chewing through the news. So lots of thoughts, lots of opinions, and a long, long story about being let down by an EV automobile. And we'll do that right after this. Hey, this is Adam Carolla from the Adam Carolla Show. Summer is here and Podcast one has a brand new sports podcast. It's the all new Pac Man Jones show called Politely Raw. Now on Podcast One, join former NFL star and Pro bowl cornerback Pac Man Jones as he brings you his unfiltered takes, raw interviews and stories as only he can tell them. If you love sports culture and controversy, you're going to love Politely Raw as nothing is off limits. This makes for an entertaining and compelling listen each and every time. The new Pac Man Jones Show Politely Raw episodes drop weekly and are available wherever you find podcasts.
Jason Mayhem Miller
From Corolla One studios in Glendale, California, this is the Adam Carolla Show. Today we got the news with Jason Mayhem Miller. And now, in tribute to Brian Wilson, he tried putting out Good Vibrations, but it lasted under two minutes. Adam Carolla.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, get it on.
Dawson
Got to get it on.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Mayhem in studio. Gonna do some news. I got lots of stuff to talk about, and it's perfect timing. All right, so I had to go to Palm Springs to do the Freedom Festival. And the plan was I was going to leave here at about one in the afternoon, and Mike August and I were gonna drive my electric vehicle there, which is an Audi, which is all electrical or all electric and fully charged, has a range of the range says 236. So I said to Mike, I said, well, we'll go down there, we'll see how we're feeling, and we'll probably charge it up there, even though technically it's 100 miles. And that would be there and back would be 200 miles, which leaves me with 36. But that is not how electric cars work. Now, I don't really understand it because it's a pretty heavily regulated industry. Like, they have CAFE ratings for cars. Your fleet has to average 22 miles per gallon if it's an internal combustion car. So you might sell a lot of trucks that get 10 miles a gallon, but you need some mini vehicles that get 50 miles a gallon to offset it. So you average at 22. But back in the day, they do this car gets 18 miles per gallon in the city and then 27 on the highway or whatever. And it was all regulated. You couldn't make up your own numbers. Evidently, with electric cars, you just make up Your own numbers. Because we got in this car and Mike And I, it's 2:36. So these are the numbers you have to remember. We leave here, it's 2:36. We pull into the hotel in Palm springs, and there's one 46 left on the range.
Mike August
So it's 100 miles away.
Adam Carolla
Wait, 100 miles away? And according to the car, used up 90 miles.
Mike August
Need a different rating going up the hill with the ac. Especially how old August likes it.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. So we got 146 left on the range, according to the dashboard. So then we go in, do the gig, go to dinner, then go do a comedy show. And it's late by the time I'm done with the comedy show, it's midnight. And Mike says, why don't we go back tonight? And I say, we have hotel rooms. Why don't we just go back tomorrow morning? And he says, well, I'm going back to the shop in Glendale with you. And then I gotta go back to Orange county after I go back to the shop. And I'd rather do it at 2:30 in the morning than do it at noon because of traffic practical. And I go, mike, all right, Michael, cannonball it. I'll cannonball it. I don't care. I'm the guy who drove to Vegas in the middle of July from LA to Vegas, sitting in the back of a mini pickup truck with no bed liner, no camper shell, no earbuds, no cell phone, not even the window that had the slide on it that I could poke my head into the cab and go, hi, guy.
Mike August
No sunscreen, no nothing.
Adam Carolla
Oh, no. It was at night, but it was still 95 degrees going through death Valley. And I just sat on top of an axle in a Datsun mini truck. An 84 standard bed, not even a long bed, no sleeping bag, no pillow.
Mike August
Sitting on a crushed Coors Light can.
Adam Carolla
Sitting on a crushed Coors Light can all the way to Vegas. So I can do it. So we get there and we finish the gig. And Mike goes, why don't we just head back? And I said, all right, I'm fine. And then we said, well, we don't really need a place to charge because we got 146 left and. And it only took us about 90 to get here. And we got 146.
Mike August
Classic mistake.
Adam Carolla
So we take off into the night. I'm looking at my phone, I'm trying to figure out what happened to Olivia Newton John's boyfriend who faked his own death by jumping off a fishing vessel. In California and ending up in Mexico. I don't know if you know this one.
Mike August
Definitely not.
Adam Carolla
I'm doing a deep. You know this one.
Mike August
Bring that up. No, I don't know this one.
Adam Carolla
Who think they're death. Olivia Newton John's husband.
Mike August
Yeah. Gambling death.
Adam Carolla
I don't know. He said he was going fishing, like in Malibu.
Mike August
Oh, wait, no, I do know this. That's why I rang a bell. Yeah, yeah. And he, like, went off to Catalina, caught another boat. Like run a little skiff out to another boat.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. On the way there, it was a deep dive into Alfalfa from Spanky and our gang and Little Rascals.
Mike August
Yeah, I know. It's connected somehow.
Adam Carolla
That guy's story, by the way, that guy shot dead at 31.
Mike August
How bad of a wife is Olivia Newton John, though?
Adam Carolla
You know how happy I'd be to be married to Olivia Newton John?
Mike August
You're the one that'll won.
Adam Carolla
I would never fake my death. She's hot, she's rich, she's pretty awesome, she's Grammy nominated. You've married to Olivia Newton John and you're gonna fake your own death?
Mike August
He had gambling debts or something. Or he owed a cartel some money and had to go work as a sex slave down there.
Adam Carolla
Well, the way up, I do the whole Alfalfa dive, which was. Dude, long after the show was over. Little rascals living in the San Fernando Valley. This is me entertaining. Me and Mike on the way there with commentary. He's a dog breeder. Has a guy, see, He's a dog breeder and a hunting guide. Oh, he's a dog breeder, a hunting guide and a bartender. At this point, he can find no work as an actor.
Mike August
Gives economy though, you know, Right.
Adam Carolla
He's training a guy, a kind of friend of his dog. And the dog runs away, and the friend is like, hey, man, you owe me for my hunting dog. And then Alfalfa goes, I'm gonna put a thing out saying a $35 reward for the return of this hunting dog. And the guy brings the dog back to the bar that Alfalfa works at. And Alfalfa gives him the 35 bucks for the reward and 15 bucks worth of free booze. Which in 1959 was a lot. That's a lot to celebrate because, you know, two fingers rye was a buck 50 cents back then. You know, this is 1959. 15 bucks worth of booze. I was jealous. So he gives the dog back thing. Then Alfalfa, he gets drunk and decides that the dude whose Dog he lost needs to pay him his 35 bucks. That's his dog. And he shouldn't have to pay the 35 bucks for the reward, but he lost the dog.
Mike August
I see logic, but.
Adam Carolla
So he shows up to the dude's house with the guy's wife and stepkids. He bangs on the door, says, I want my 35 bucks. And the guy goes, no, you lost the dog. You put the reward up. You pay the reward. That's your reward. And Alfalfa threatens him or has a knife. It's a little dicey. Guy goes in the next room, gets a revolver out, shoots him in the groin. Alfalfa bleeds out.
Mike August
That's the end of Alfalfa.
Adam Carolla
That's the end of.
Mike August
How did I never know?
Adam Carolla
This is the end of that story. It's a great story. All right. Golly. So now. Now it's the ride back to. It's about 1am and I'm getting Mike caught up with Olivia Newton John's husband, who faked his own death. So I'm just staring at my phone.
Mike August
He's battling off the coast of Catalina.
Adam Carolla
Patrick Kim McDermott disappeared. June 05. Unsubstantiated claims have been made, particularly in the Australian media, that McDermott faked his own death and is still alive in Mexico.
Mike August
Oh, I know a guy who faked his own death.
Adam Carolla
Oh, really?
Mike August
Oh, yeah.
Adam Carolla
What happened?
Mike August
He came back.
Adam Carolla
Who was that?
Mike August
I don't want to say his name in case somebody's really looking for it because he popped back up somewhere else. I'll tell you. It's in Southeast Asia.
Adam Carolla
Wow.
Mike August
Yeah, I know.
Adam Carolla
All right. So I was trying to get to the bottom of that. Olivia Newton John's husband at 1am and then all of a sudden, we're about halfway right? Halfway between Palm Springs and LA. It's about 1am And Mike, who's driving while I'm narrating, he goes, oh, we got a problem. And I go, what's the problem? And I look up and he goes, we got 46 miles worth of range. And I go, 46 miles? We had 146 when we left, and that was 45 miles ago. He goes, we just scrubbed off 100.
Mike August
Danger, Will Robinson. Danger, Will Robinson.
Adam Carolla
I quickly look down on my phone, and the phone says, 53 miles back to LA. And the dashboard says, 46. And by the way, 46 means 27, okay?
Mike August
That doesn't mean getting spicy, baby.
Adam Carolla
So I go, okay, Mike, we gotta find a charging station in here. So Mike pulls off, and that's in Ontario.
Mike August
Oh, bumfuck. Egypt.
Adam Carolla
Yes. Pulls off in Ontario. Now it's 1:30. It's the middle of the week. He's looking at his phone. He's got an app. Cause he has a charge a car. Now we're looking around. He goes, oh, there's a charger over here. We pull off, it's all these car dealerships where there are chargers. But the car dealerships are all fenced off. And the gate's closed and it's locked. You can't get in. So it's like the app goes, hey, there's a charger. But they don't tell you you can't. You cannot use this charger. So now Mike and I are driving through bumfuck with, you know, big rigs going by, getting a little dicey. And I'm looking at the odometer go down, you know, the range go down. And then at some point, he finds another one. And this one is in, like, Ontario Mills Mall. And again, it's 1:30 at night, there's nobody around. Come pulling in. He goes, okay, we found one. I go, okay, good, plug it in. I go, okay. Mike gets his card out and things. Swiping his card and everything. I go, okay, now listen, we got like 53 miles to get back. But that 46 isn't really 46. And by the way, now it's down to like 30, 35. I go, that 35 is not really 35. That 35 is more like 20. And we got like 53. So we gotta put at least 30, 35 miles on this thing for we can pull it out and hit the road again. And again, it's. I did two shows in Palm Springs. We left here one in the afternoon. I'm tired. And I go, we'll just charge it up. We'll just get it to the minimum. Just put like 40 miles on it. We'll take off, we'll get back to la. And now I'm thinking to myself, all right, so I'm not gonna be back till like 2, 2:15, something like that. Mike and I both just go get in the car. I'm sure everyone thought it was some sort of gay hookup or something.
Mike August
You're telling me you're hanging out at rest stops with Mike August?
Adam Carolla
Just sitting there. So me and him are just sitting in the car. Talk about Olivia Newton John, you know, listening to the 70 station. And Mike and I are both focused on the dashboard that says 35 miles on it. Cause the car's lit up and And I'm just staring at it. And I'm staring at it, and I'm staring at it. I'm like, mike, that range thing isn't moving. And then at some point, after we both stare at it for a while, it does move. It goes up 1. It goes up 1.
Mike August
36.
Adam Carolla
Now we're at 36, and I grab my phone and I hit the timer on the phone, and I hit the stopwatch. And then we sit there, just listen to Olivia Newton John. And I'm looking at my phone. It's like three minutes, four minutes, five and a half minutes. Ting goes up one more. Now we're 37. And I go, okay, Mike, hold on. I've done the rut. It's gonna go up about. I think we'll do about 10 miles in an hour. But the 10 miles isn't really 10 miles. It's more like six and a half, the way we've been going. So according to my calculation, we're gonna sit in this parking lot for five.
Mike August
Of you stop using the car, watching Grease the Musical over, and you guys would get out of there quick.
Adam Carolla
I thought about turning my seat cooler off momentarily, but I realized this was all, this is chump change. We needed big Doge style mileage here, not the little parsley around the plate of life. So I'm sitting there and I. So Mike and I are both just sitting there staring at this thing. It's like, it's 1:45 in the morning. We're in Ontario. There's nobody around. I'm tired of shit. I did two shows in Palm Springs, and I'm staring at this thing. And eight minutes later, one more. So I go, mike, this is not gonna work. We're on the slow boat here. We gotta get the fast charger. We got supercharged. He goes, okay, all right. Starts looking at his phone again. He goes, I think there's a fact there's a supercharger one that's on the other side of the mall over here. It's the middle of the night, so Mike and I are fishing through the Ontario parking lot mall. We get to the. We get to the supercharger one. There's one dicey dude there just charging at 145, man, just with this car smoking a blunt. Yes. Like, that's dicey, that guy. But he probably thinks we're pretty dicey, too. So we pull up next to the supercharger, and I see Mike pull the handle out, and he's fighting with it.
Mike August
And fighting the hole.
Adam Carolla
And then he can't find. And he hands it to me and I'm like, nah, this is the wrong one. This not gonna fit. Fit. This won't fit. I guess. God damn it. Drive around to the other supercharger. This one's not fitting either. I'm like, this, this isn't the right one. We need a fast charger somewhere, but it's not this one. And the other one's too slow. So then we find, oh, there's a, there's a days in that has one like, like a mile away. There's a hotel, a motel. It's two in the morning now. I go, okay, let's go to this one. We go to the thing, go over there. Mike swipes the thing, plugs it in. Thing comes up like an error, no charge, error, no charge. And then he's like, try the one next to us. The one next to it. It's middle of the night. The one next to it, it's got tape on it. Like it's no good. I go, okay, Mike, this one's no good. The other one doesn't fit that there. We need to go back to the slow one. Back to the slow one. We'll plug it in and then we'll just call a fucking Uber at three in the morning and we'll just take $100 goddamn Uber ride back to here. And then you gotta go drop me off at my house after this. And you know, 2:45 in the morning, it's like, dude in a Jeep Cherokee, he'll find you. I'm like, how does he find us? We're standing in the middle of a parking lot. I'm dumb, you know, I don't really know. I think you need an address. He's coming to my phone. And also I was like, he's gonna think he's getting jacked. Like it's the, it's, it's a weekday. It's 2:45am in the middle of an Ontario parking lot.
Mike August
Middle aged white carjackers.
Adam Carolla
This guy's gonna come find us, middle.
Mike August
Of the night, waiting there with their glasses on.
Adam Carolla
He doesn't know we're middle aged white dudes.
Mike August
What?
Adam Carolla
When he gets the call, but anyway picks us up, get in the back of his Cherokee, fucking get back here. Get back to my place at 3:30, get up this morning. And it's like, well, how are we gonna get the car? Where is it by the way? You know, I took one stupid picture of a movie theater marquee and then I Googled it. There's 35 of them in the Southland, and they're all somewhere between here and Palm Springs. And I'm like, I have no.
Dawson
I don't know.
Adam Carolla
It was dark. Not always a dark. We circumnavigated this, and then we pulled off, and then we turn around and came back. Like, we were literally. What you do when you abduct somebody and you don't want them to find out where your headquarters are, and they don't want to be able to lead people to gps. Yeah, you just drive in a circle for a while. And that's what we did. And it was at night. So now I got. It's 52 miles away. It's halfway to Palm Springs. I could get my assistant, get the car. Here we go. I just start. I go, listen, where, Liam? Where's the car? I go, it's somewhere between here and Palm Springs. That's about halfway. Probably about 50 miles. So then I call Mike. He doesn't pick up, So I just start driving that direction. I go just ways Palm Springs. Ways Palm Springs, and we'll start heading to Palm Springs. And I know about 51 miles from here, that's where you're gonna home in.
Mike August
On it like a pigeon, right?
Adam Carolla
So I go, I got this picture that I took of the Regal movie Theater sign. So I go find where there's, like, a Regal Max movie theater halfway between here. It'd probably be about 51, 52 miles. And so Daphne goes, there's a Regal max theater that's 50 miles from here. On the way, I go, that's where the car is. Somewhere there.
Mike August
My numbers cross.
Adam Carolla
Yes. And I go, okay, it's there. Then, of course, I pull up to the movie theater, and she's like, where's the car? And I go, I don't know. It's somewhere in this vast parking lot which is now filled with cars. It's filled with cars. It's not. I can't. I don't have any idea where my car is. Drive around, try to take a look at the picture. Like, what was the angle of the dangle picture? Find it, get the car hooked up. It's about half full. Fine. Jumping it.
Mike August
Still, after all night of that, it just trickled in. You need the adapter.
Adam Carolla
But here's the other thing. So then I turn on the radio, and Newsom is outraged because Trump has squashed his EV mandate in California. It's like, bitch, you don't have the infrastructure for an EV mandate. There's no infrastructure. You understand? You can't get To Palm Springs is close. If you're in la, Vegas is far, San Francisco's far. Even San Diego's a little far. But if we can't get to Palm Springs and back in our mandated EV car and or have an abundant charging network and system and grid that we could charge on, then, sorry, you can't mandate it because you're not ready for it. It's perfect. California, it's like, we want electric cars. You have an electrical grid where we have rolling brownouts every summer because people run their air conditioning and we get brownouts. We want electric cars. You must fix your grid and you must have an array of charging stations that are functional. And by the way, one mile, I'll put it to you this way. 10 miles an hour is not gonna work. It's just not gonna work.
Mike August
Golf cart, top speed. Oh, yeah. Hey, what do you think, ace? I never asked you. Nuclear power.
Adam Carolla
Yes.
Mike August
Okay.
Adam Carolla
It's fine. McDermott had filed bankruptcy in 2000 and had received court orders to pay overdue child support to his former wife, Olivia's. That was Olivia's former wife. Was Olivia's former wife. He was Olivia's on and off again boyfriend. Okay, yeah, so he filed for bankruptcy, owed some money.
Mike August
You know what? Baby mama drama gets us all.
Adam Carolla
I know, but not me, not you. So listen, now Newsom is suing Trump for canceling his EV mandate.
Mike August
Meanwhile, he can't have no charges to bounce free.
Adam Carolla
Here's what I would say. I would say to the legislation, legislators, and Newsom and Bass, I would go, look, I'm all with you on electric cars. I own electric car. I'm fine with electric car. I have to own electric car and a gas powered car because two electric cars are not going to work. Because you're going. I'm going to do shows in Vegas. I'm going to Jimmy Kimmel's club. Coming up, I'm going to drive. The electric car's not going to do it. The fact that there's electric charging stations between here and Vegas does not do it because half of them are out of order or too slow or don't work. But here's what I would say to Newsom. I'd say, I will, I will. Here's what I'll do for you. When the range of an electric car either gets good enough so that you can leave LA and make it one way to Vegas. And by the way, people do the thing where they go, well, Vegas is 311 miles away and mine has a range of 350 bullshit. It does. Bullshit.
Mike August
I'm see you in Death Valley. Just a skull next to one of those bull skulls.
Adam Carolla
You know how I'll find you? I'll look for the buzzards, that's how. I'll run you down. You tryin? Yeah. Cause you're going. You're flatlining around the bun boy. Yeah, that's the way this is gonna work.
Mike August
That big ass thermometer is just piling up with bodies.
Adam Carolla
I've yelled at people many times. World's biggest thermometer my ass. It's a stick that has digital numbers on it. It's not a thermometer. It's not a thermometer. If I just take a. If I take a digital readout that says 81 degrees and I set it on top of the Empire State Building. That's not the world's tallest thermometer. It's a stick that has digital numbers on it.
Mike August
I know. Anyway, I got the big government solution. Mandate every Starbucks have a charging station. Game over. Take that Libs.
Adam Carolla
We either need a car that can make it from la, truly from LA to Vegas on a run, or you need to have some infrastructure that'll work out. Right now we don't have either one of those. Maybe there's a couple of EV cars, but we're talking for the masses. That ain't it. So then we may do this either way. I don't like the mandates, but also I'm not a big fan of big government regulation, the regulatory system. But if you are advertising that Your car has 300 miles worth of electric range and the dash is telling me I got 235 or 240, I should be able to get that in that vehicle. I shouldn't get dramatically less. Now I'm not gonna quibble. If Mike and I got oh it said 236 and we only got 222 or something like. I'm not going to quibble that it whacked 100 miles off in the first 50 miles and we were fucked in the middle of the night. So then Mike wanted to stay at a. You know, want to stay at the days in.
Mike August
Man, he's seducing you.
Adam Carolla
I think I know. Come on.
Mike August
Seduction.
Adam Carolla
You don't spend all that money on two rooms, do you?
Mike August
What do we need two beds for?
Adam Carolla
Yeah. California Republicans are investigating the low carbon fuel standard update that will increase the cost of gas to 65 cents per gallon. 65 a gallon, which will get us over 6 bucks a gallon impacting not just California, but The parts of Nevada, Arizona. But the people that are impacted the most, okay, the people that can't afford electric cars are poor people, Democrats. And the people that can't afford $6 a gallon gas are poor people, Democrats. So please focus on them when you're driving gas up and forcing people into cars they can't afford. All right. Also a clip that I saw, which was a woman named Felicia, and she was speaking, I guess, in front of Congress. And she was. I don't know who put this up. I'll think of it. We'll find out who put it up. Anyway, she's there to talk about snap. She needs free food, cuz she needs it. Now. This lady, Amy Klobuchar. Yes.
Mike August
Okay, this lady on the screen.
Adam Carolla
Okay. Would you say that this woman is morbidly obese?
Mike August
I mean, look, man, I'm not a doctor.
Adam Carolla
Okay, but in terms of bmi, right?
Mike August
Listen, I'm not a doctor in terms.
Adam Carolla
Of BMI if you're a woman, but.
Mike August
Damn, SNAP did it wrong.
Adam Carolla
If you.
Mike August
All she bought was Hostess.
Adam Carolla
If you're a woman who is 5 foot 5 and you're 5 foot wide and you're 285, you are morbidly obese.
Mike August
You're gonna have some problems, definitely in your ankles.
Adam Carolla
And in terms of BMI, BMI is scary. Like I'm 6 foot 2, I'm supposed to be 180 pounds. I'm 200 pounds, and you go look it up. I'm like almost morbidly obese.
Mike August
We're all supposed to be lean, mean, fighting resistance. Right?
Adam Carolla
Right, right. Okay, so, Amy Klobuchar, if you're looking for a candidate to make a case for free food, maybe leave the fat ass in the parking lot, why don't you go get like someone from Sudan and then unleash a box of flies on their head and they'll just sitting there swatting flies when I can see their, you know, every vein in their neck. But getting a fat chick to talk about free food is kind of a weird portrait to paint. I'm just saying, Amy Klobuchar, everything's optics. Maybe this isn't your best candidate, but here she goes. She's gonna tell us she's, I don't know, 45, morbidly obese, and she's gonna tell us why she needs SNAP.
Felicia
I am a single mom of four who are ages 21, 17, 12 and 11. I would like to tell you a story on how SNAP benefits.
Adam Carolla
I feel like the 21 year old might be Able to go get their own food, right? Like, when I was 21, I lived in an apartment with two other dudes that were 21.
Mike August
And I. Mike Miller, said goodbye on 17. You know what I mean?
Adam Carolla
18, that's when your dad pulled you out? Yeah, 17. My stepmom kicked me out of the garage when I was 18. I was living in a garage. I was like, really? The garage? I didn't go in the house, but. All right, 21, you can take care of yourself. Buy a little top Ramen, you know, 17, you can get a job, but. All right, she needs it. Here we go.
Felicia
On how snap Benefit has helped me.
Adam Carolla
Sorry, she's becoming emotional over free food. Go ahead. You're doing good.
Mike August
Well, here's my argument, though. If this lady is simple, you know, like, I cannot do anything. And I. I get having empathy for her, but, like, man, she dug this.
Adam Carolla
Ditch, you know, she found some food. She's been finding food. But all right, she's a simple person, but she has.
Mike August
You know what I mean? Like, why. Why can't she work and, like, she does.
Adam Carolla
She has three jobs. She's gonna tell you she has three jobs.
Mike August
Oh, how can. No. Three jobs. Not giving up. I mean, she has a lot of babies, and that's a lot of woman.
Adam Carolla
She has three jobs and four chins. All right, here we go.
Felicia
When I had my oldest daughter 21.
Adam Carolla
Years ago, I was working three jobs.
Felicia
One job alone, I had to pay child care, another one to pay food, which wasn't enough.
Adam Carolla
It wasn't enough. You have a job and it's not enough. All right, listen to me. Everyone looks. You can't go to the steakhouse in Palm Springs with me in August and do what we did. But you can go to the supermarket. You can buy a dozen eggs, you can buy beans, you can buy rice, you can buy a nice big chub pack of ground beef, and you can go home and make an onion and a bell pepper and go home and make some shit.
Mike August
You can do that. I'll assemble that. I bet that was mine. What do you think? Over, under.
Adam Carolla
Chubby pack. Onion.
Mike August
Okay.
Adam Carolla
I'll put a little garlic in there. Rice, beans, Boil it up. Throw some bouillon cubes in there. Don't cost nothing. I mean, when I was poor, I'd make a big old pot of shit.
Mike August
I'm gonna make that stew that you're.
Adam Carolla
Just talking about for, like, four days.
Mike August
I know. It's the Viking stew, for sure.
Adam Carolla
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Jason Mayhem Miller
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Adam Carolla
Let me tell you something. Mayhem. Yeah, I'm wealthy now.
Mike August
Yeah. Yeah.
Adam Carolla
I came back from the Pacific Northwest. You want to know where you got those tacos, Andrew? Yeah. I didn't want to say anything to you, but those were porch tacos and there was someone else's tacos and I thought they were vegetarian tacos. I came home from the Pacific Northwest on a Monday at 4 in the afternoon. There's a bunch of food sitting on my doorstep. I was outside. I was on the mat. I was just sitting there and I was like, what have we here? And then I started taking apart. It was Mexican food. Yeah, a lot of Mexican food. And so I had a couple good burritos. One of the best burritos I ever had. Beef, rice. Rice in the burritos is good. It's good. People fuck around. Beef had rice and it had beans in it. It was good. The other one was like a breakfast burrito. Tater tots. I don't know. People get fucking too enamored with tater tots. But if you want to put hash browns in there. And then there was a rack of tacos.
Mike August
Dude, who brought this burrito cornucopia to your building?
Adam Carolla
I don't know, but they dropped it off.
Mike August
This is the days in last night.
Adam Carolla
This is coming back from the Pacific Northwest. A week and a half ago, I just walked back up to my place and there's a pile of food sitting there. And so I said, hey, what if.
Mike August
It'S a left wing conspiracy to poison you, ace?
Adam Carolla
It's manna from heaven. Manna from heaven. So I looked down at it also. Taco Bell. It had Taco Bell in there, too. Had Taco Bell and this other Mexican food. It had like the highest of the high and the lowest of the low in the Mexican food realm.
Mike August
Some doordash driver fell out drunk on the way to the deliver, and you're the recipient.
Adam Carolla
So I looked at it and it was from earlier that day. And I, you know, flicked a couple ants and roaches off and I brought it inside and I spread it out and I said, all right, well, I know what I'm eating tonight.
Mike August
And Mike August in his underwear.
Adam Carolla
I got into the burrito and then I looked at the tacos, and they're all pushed together. And I was like, oh, man, I think these are vegetarian tacos. And I started feeling around in them a little bit, and I was like, these are vegetarian tacos, so I'll just bring these in for the vegetarian assholes at work here. And so I brought it in, and then I fed them the vegetarian tacos, but they didn't eat them because it turned out to be beef tacos. I just couldn't figure it out. What happened was, is the guacamole on top kind of went brown because it was outside, and it felt weird. So I put my finger on it. I thought it was some sort of weird bean curd thing or something. And also, to be fair, I was in a weird mindset. Which I shouldn't have been in. Which is fuck these people. And they're fucking vegetarian tacos. I knew it. I knew it. Couldn't get carnitas or pork or something. Good fish taco. No, no, I gotta get the vegetarian taco. But it's like 140 bucks worth of food. So then I brought that in and these guys wouldn't eat it. Cause they found out it had beef in it and so they gave it back. No, I ate mine. I finished it. Oh, you ate yours. Because it was like I started it. You already got right.
Mike August
Are you afraid you're gonna stop having your period?
Adam Carolla
You need extra iron during those key days of the month. Mayhem. So then Chuck didn't eat his. Because Chuck's a real vegetarian and he picked through it. And so now I was left with two or three beef tacos and two halves of a brio for three days. That's all. I lived off what was on the porch for three goddamn days.
Mike August
Mystery tacos.
Adam Carolla
Three days. Three days.
Mike August
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
The tacos were in that fridge. The burrito was in that fridge. All in my head. So there's ways to eat cheap, you know.
Mike August
Yo, man, these mystery tacos messing with me though. Are you telling me that people are. Nevermind. I guess I asked too many questions.
Adam Carolla
Listen, I used to do Loveline. Loveline. Every once in a while, some fan would just give us a batch of cookies that they made in their partner.
Mike August
I know.
Adam Carolla
And Drew, I met cookie lady with like foil on it and you know, like a post it with a heart, you know. And Drew and I would just like look at him and go, all right, well, I'm eating it.
Mike August
Yeah, yeah, I don't know about you.
Adam Carolla
And we just eat them.
Mike August
Much love.
Adam Carolla
Much love. So. All right, sorry. So she's got a 21 year old who's got to eat. He's got a 17 year old's got to eat. He's got a couple youngins. She didn't do a lot of planning. She's fat. She needs free food from the government. All right, play, hit play. Sorry. Yeah, Andrew. I didn't tell you guys it was from the porch because I didn't want to ruin. It was still really good. Yeah. Let me tell you something. Once Tori Amos went to the radio station at KROC in the morning and fans love Tori Amos and they all gave her a big bouquet of flowers and she left. She just left the flowers behind. I was just working there, doing odd jobs in the morning for free, you know, And I was like, oh, I'm gonna take Tori Amos flowers. I'm gonna give them to my girlfriend Cynthia. And so I took Tori Amos flowers. But I knew Cynthia was a huge fan of Tori Amos. She loved Tori Amos. So I gave her the flowers. I said, there's your flowers. She's like, oh, my goodness, wow, just on a weekday, huh? For no reason. Get you some flowers. And she's, whoa, that's so sweet of you. And I go, and guess whose flowers those were? Tori Amos. And she's pushing the back of me, get the fuck out of here. And that's when I learned my lesson, Andrew, about telling people about Mexican food that was on a porch. I'm not gonna ruin. I'm not gonna have another Tori Amos situation, this time with tacos.
Mike August
Now you know who sent it? Olivia Newton John's ex husband.
Adam Carolla
That's right. From south of the border. All right, sorry. All right, let's hear the SNAP lady has to say. Felicia.
Felicia
When I had my oldest daughter 21.
Adam Carolla
Years ago, I was working three jobs.
Felicia
One job alone, I had to pay child care, another one to pay food, which wasn't enough, and one bill or one to pay the bills. And I still struggled alive. Moving forward, I am now working a full time job as a bus monitor and I'm a driver who transports students to specialized schools in Kansas City. As an employee of the school district, I only get paid once a month. By time I get my bills paid, I have nothing left to pay for food and other basic needs. If it wasn't for SNAP benefits, I wouldn't be able to feed my children or myself. I work, pay my bills, all right?
Adam Carolla
And I feel bad for everybody, but it's a hard life. Everyone's got to get their shit together. I'm sorry, you got a 21 year old. The 21 year old needs a job for sure. 17 year old needs a job. So you can take two people, they can go get jobs, they can take some of that money and put it toward food, put it toward rent, put it, whatever. And yes, you get paid once a month. I get paid once a month. Gotta work, but you gotta budget. That's how you have to do. You get paid every day, you get paid every two weeks, you get paid once a week, get paid once a month, you get paid quarterly. You have to then use that and create a budget. Okay? And again, try to shed a few before you talk about, hey, I'll subsidize her gym membership.
Mike August
I swear to God, I'm a positive coach. I don't care where you start from. But you, you can work your way down. It's a way to do it. I'll tell you what, I'm a skinny guy posing as. I mean, I'm cosplaying as skinny in real life.
Adam Carolla
I'll give you the reality is everyone knows the difference between going to KFC and going to the store. And by the way, the snap. Okay, first things first. You should not be able to purchase junk food with Snap. It's free. It's from the government. Nobody says you cannot purchase a donut, but you cannot do it with someone else's money. You can purchase beans and rice and.
Mike August
Meat, but the whole populace is addicted to sugar.
Adam Carolla
Ace.
Mike August
I know everybody's addicted to sugar and carbohydrates and, you know, salty, sweet, salty sweet that people are stuck in this rut and then they just give them a Snap card to subsidize that for the big companies that are making the money.
Adam Carolla
I get it.
Mike August
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
And the. You're not being charitable to these people, killing these people. And so your plan is to give this fatso more free food and then to yell at Kennedy Jr. Because he's saying, you don't want to eat this. That's not the right approach to this problem. And by the way, we'll then pay for her knee replacement and her diabetes and all. And all the other money makers. She'll be on insulin and we'll pay for all that, too. You understand? It's literally. She's a cash. Literally a cow. So let's be realistic. And Amy Klobuchar, you need to fix her, not have her cry.
Mike August
That's a lady who looks like Kristen Wiig. Right? Or one of the castanel cast.
Adam Carolla
She's a dope. She's a dope. I'll tell you why there's a clip in there. If you want to know what a dope Amy Klobuchar is, there's a clip in there with Rob Reiner and her. And Rob Reiner, who I like, comes across like a retarded clown. And so does she, because Bill Maher is on the show and she's going, ooh. BMI for male 62 between the ages over 60, 194 to 210. Sweet. Pass the porch tacos, bro. I'm gonna celebrate now, Andrew, I was never gonna tell you those were from the porch, but I figured you could.
Mike August
Handle hot ass limes.
Adam Carolla
That's totally fine. I used to work at a restaurant, so I would eat leftovers all the time. Oh, yeah. I mean, the day I was working at McDonald's and they told me to throw away 10 filet of fish, man, I stuffed them. No, no, I woofed two. When I woofed two down the dumpster. And then I hid the other two in the arms of the, you know, the hollowed out square inside of them. I shoved five of them in there.
Mike August
Solid hiding spot.
Adam Carolla
I was like, I'll be back for you, right? I'm coming back for you.
Mike August
Did you nestle little wrappers on top?
Adam Carolla
Okay. They were only being thrown out because they'd already sat too long indoors. Now I'm gonna put them outdoors for another five hours and then go get them and eat them in the parking lot. All right? I don't know what. It's in a computer somewhere. Maybe Dawson would have to find it. But it's Bill Maher. It's Rob Reiner on Bill Maher like two, three years ago with Amy Klobuchar. And Bill Maher, who's sort of intellectually honest, just goes, oh, well, you read the. According to the New York Times, Hunter Biden didn't have a laptop. And they're both like blissfully unaware of it. And then Amy Klobuchar tells us her dad used to be a news guy. She's an idiot. And we'll see if we can find it. But other things to talk about. Homes.com Some might say homes.com is the best home shopping site. That may be homes.com's super comprehensive and transparent agent directory. Or Maybe it's that homes.com is the only site that always directly connects you with the listing agent who knows the home the best. Perhaps it's because homes.com has the most in depth neighborhood content of any home shopping site. That's extensively researched. To highlight the personality of each neighborhood, homes.com goes above and beyond to bring home shoppers the in depth info they need to find the right home. That's why I always check out homes.com and you know, I love the real estate. Homes.com homes.com We've done your homework.
Dawson
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Adam Carolla
I don't know where you're at. You watch espn?
Mike August
Yeah, sometimes I catch mostly during the fights. You know, not so much on there every day, but what's up?
Adam Carolla
Well, they do this thing. I've yelled about it before. I don't really get it, but I don't like it. Okay. I normally don't catch the sporting events of the day because I'm blowing Mike August in a parking lot. Ontario, you know, I don't got time for that.
Mike August
That's where you are, supercharging.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. But. Well, to be fair, I'm like, this car's taking forever to charge. Mike's like, well, you know, would get it to charge faster. And I was like, what? And he's like, you suck my dick. And I was like, really? He said, oh, absolutely. I said, I don't know how these electric cars work. He said, oh, I do. So that's on me for just being gullible. But. But I come home at the end of a long day and I turn on espn.
Mike August
Yeah, that's a nice, relaxing thing.
Adam Carolla
How are we doing in the NBA playoffs? What's going on here? And I am looking forward to seeing a nice highlight reel of these two teams going back and forth. And sometimes it gets to. And now with five seconds left, they're down by two. They inbounded at half court. He takes the three pointer. Okay, it's all good. I'm watching it like I'm watching the game, except for at the beginning of the reel, they tell me who won. They go, thunder goes on to another victory. Now, here are the highlights I don't want. The UFC will go, here's who won the fight. Now let's watch the highlights. And I'm like, why? Okay, why do you have highlights? Why. Why do you try to build tension in a highlight? Like, what is. Why are you showing me the three pointer that's launched with the clock running out or whatever? You're trying to edit this and build a. And then the Thunder came back.
Mike August
No, it's. Keep Live Sports the poll that they have.
Adam Carolla
Why?
Mike August
Because it's espn.
Adam Carolla
Are you telling me the outcome at.
Mike August
The top for the highlight? Because you won't watch it live next time. You'll be like, oh, I'll just find out what happens on espn.
Adam Carolla
Is that what it is?
Mike August
Hell, yeah. It's got to be ace. I mean, think about it. If I tell you the result of the fight at the top of the broadcast and then show you highlights, you're like, oh, man, I gotta go next time to see that fight, to see.
Adam Carolla
The fight live, I gotta go watch it calculated. Okay.
Mike August
I think so.
Adam Carolla
I'm ready to believe you.
Mike August
I don't know. Jewish People came up with it, didn't they?
Adam Carolla
Oh, the Jews. Don't get me started. All right, we have the Klobuchar over there with Bill Maher. That's funny. Rob Reiner sounds retarded.
Mike August
Yeah. I mean, that's normal.
Adam Carolla
There we go. Anything is justified in preventing them from taking office. Is it? No. No. You know what's not justified? Using armed violence to try to kill people in the Capitol. That's not trying to kill people. Was it? Enter this question. Well, was it appropriate? The question is, was it appropriate to bury the Hunter Biden? You're talking about the press doing that. He's saying that's what they did and that is what they did. They bur the Hunter Biden story before the election because they were like, we can't risk having the election thrown to Trump. We'll tell them after the election. And. And we know for a fact that that's what they did. Of course you don't. But I'm saying you know for a fact that that's what they did. I don't know what they did. I know. Because you only watch msnbc. That's not true. That's not true. Well, then you would know about this. I do know about that. You do? He does know or he doesn't. And by the way, you know for a fact, you know for. Yes, yes, we know that there was a story involving a laptop that was buried intentionally so their guy could win. That's what happened, Rob. You know that. I don't know that. I like it when people don't know that.
Mike August
Putting blinders on and to look around that part of reality.
Adam Carolla
You know that 3 times 5 is 15. I don't know that. I don't know. Oh, okay. I guess we're even. Or you're fucking dumb. I don't know. Okay, you don't know. But doesn't. Doesn't mean right now there's a nuclear powered sub that's under one of the polar ice caps. Do you know? I don't know. I don't know.
Mike August
It's Schrodinger's.
Adam Carolla
It doesn't mean it's not there. Dumb shit. All right. But it's going to keep going. And then Amy Klobuchar is going to jump in and help out.
Mike August
Rob that.
Adam Carolla
And I do watch Fox. But the point is. You do. We're going to prove now that, that they. That the press play, you know, tried to. They're admitting it. The press is admitting it. Yes. That's not even an issue anymore. Poor Bill Maher. Yes. We basically did this because we didn't want this to throw the election. Yes. I don't know that they've all said this. And I. Okay, they're. Pause there, I believe. No, not. They've all. MSNBC hasn't said it. Cuz they're lying and neither is cnn. Not all of them, Amy. It just happens to be a fact.
Mike August
What's that guy famous about?
Adam Carolla
Oh, I'll tell you. He used to live up the street from me, by the way. No. So Amy Klobuchar is going to jump in and help out. I don't know if they all said it. Oh, yeah, you know that. I don't know that. Yeah, they all didn't say. Yeah. Okay. Okay, you two who don't know anything. This is what happened.
Mike August
This is. The lady looks like a Muppet.
Adam Carolla
Yes. All right, play it out. New York Times definitely did. My dad was a reporter. I believe in it. And her dad's a reporter. You have to make sure that you're treating people fairly. But I think Rob's point here is that we are dealing with a man who used to be the president right now, who literally tried to lead an armed insurrection. And that's why we're so focused on this right now. And I had. He literally tried to lead an armed insurrection where there wasn't armed. But anyway, she doesn't know about that. But her dad was a press guy. Okay, My dad was a podiatrist. Now, can we get back to the Hunter Biden laptop story or we just go around the table? What was your dad?
Mike August
Roofer?
Adam Carolla
He was enlisted for a while, wasn't he? Yeah. Andrew's dad's a doctor, all right. Everyone knows what everyone's dad did. Now let's talk about this story. She's an idiot, but Rob Reiner comes across as an idiot. And by the way, I love when he goes, I watch Fox. No, you don't watch Fox. You watch Fox. And you'd be well healed in this story. You would know exactly what's going on with this. I don't know that. Do you know that? Do we know that? Okay, listen, here's what I'm saying. If you go too deep into an ideology, it ends up making de facto come across as dumb. These people are coming across as dumb. Well, Amy's just lying. Rob is just sort of in between. Rob's a great director and of course did Spinal Tap and Stand By Me and many other.
Mike August
I knew that I liked him for some reason and thought he was dope.
Adam Carolla
For some reason now, smart guy, good guy, been on the show a few times. He's got Trump derangement syndrome. And it literally ruins your brain.
Mike August
Because everybody needs an enemy.
Adam Carolla
Everybody needs an enemy. That is true for me. It's Kevin Smith. All right, you got some news?
Mike August
I do. I definitely do.
Adam Carolla
I got other stuff. All right, let's see. I got that. I don't know. You're growing a beard. You got a mustache and a beard.
Mike August
Little bit there, Yeah.
Adam Carolla
I was coming out, I watched Stephen A. Smith and I'm like, do you want a mustache or don't you want a mustache?
Mike August
To the black man. They do some different out there stuff.
Adam Carolla
You gotta spend 45 minutes every morning with your shaver shaper doing this weird pencil thing. You have 316 of an inch of whisker that just hugs the top of your. Okay, I feel the same way.
Mike August
And he's always telling you the results at the beginning, before he even goes.
Adam Carolla
Into the highlights, Ruining the highlights for me. But I was thinking about him. I was thinking about Joe Jackson. Michael Jackson's dad had the same. I don't understand the. I want a mustache, but not a real mustache. It's sort of like the guys. Sometimes I'll see these LA guys and they're wearing a tight T shirt, short sleeve, tight T shirt, and they have a scarf. And I'm like, is it hot or is it cold, bro? You gotta decide. You're wearing a scarf and a tight T shirt. Which is it? Is it cold or is it hot? Do you want a mustache or don't you want a mustache? Stephen A. Do you want a mustache? Yeah. Do you want a mustache or don't you want a mustache? I like a mustache. There's been some historically strong ones. Tom Selleck, Stalin. You know, there's a lot of good mustaches out there. But Stephen A. Has a quarter of a mustache.
Mike August
It's like his mustache hasn't finished loading yet. It's like pixelated. Like it's a Japanese mustache.
Adam Carolla
It's a little chocolate milk kind of mustache. Like it just took a swig of Yoo hoo Yoo Hoopman Chew.
Mike August
But like, like fmch, you know what I mean? Like, no letters in there.
Adam Carolla
And if you ever met a woman who's like, you're like, what do you think of a guy? Because you talk to women and go, what do you think? I like a beard on a guy. And someone go, I like a mustache. Or they go, I like a clean shaven guy. Have you ever heard a woman go, I like A mustache, but only, like a quarter of a mustache.
Mike August
I want a full mustache, insulated mustache.
Adam Carolla
I don't want Yosemite sham. I want, like, Hitler or Stephen. A, like, I want parts of a mustache. Michael Jordan and going through his Hitler phase. Hanes Haynes, official underpants of Adolf Hitler. Jesus, what was that, by the way? You know that. You know. You know what? You know what?
Mike August
Yo, man, you gotta prepare me for that.
Adam Carolla
We're looking at Joe Jackson, which is Michael Jackson's dad, who's the ultimate half a mustache.
Mike August
You saw me slip a jab, right?
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Mike August
Soon as I saw his face, I was ready.
Adam Carolla
He literally dressed like an evil carnival barker. And they would say to him, are you beating your kids? He's like, let me see if I can dress like a guy who beats his kids. I think. You know what I think Michael Jordan did with the Hitler mustache phase? I think he said to one of his buddies, he goes, I'm the most beloved, popular character in America right now. I'm talking sports. I beat them all. You think George Clooney or the President. Fuck that. Michael Jordan. People would rather have dinner with me than anybody. Then he said to his friend, you know how much juice I got? I'm going to grow a Hitler mustache. And I'm going to dare somebody from corporate America, Hanes or anybody to tell me to shave it off. And I bet they won't. Cause I got that much juice.
Mike August
You know, it could have been that or it could have been what? I heard that he had all the antique films of Charlie Chaplin.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, it's probably what you said.
Mike August
He's a big fan of the, you know, slapstick comedy, you know, vaudeville age.
Adam Carolla
I think he grew a Hitler mustache and just went, watch me walk around. And there's. Nobody's gonna say a fucking word to me.
Mike August
Yeah. And no Nike told him to shave that thing off. And he went, nein, nein, nein, nein.
Adam Carolla
All right, get the news ready. Let's see. Take a. Take a break. Come back right after this. O'Reilly Auto Parts. Yeah, man. They're in the business of keeping your car on the road. And O'Reilly Auto Parts offers friendly, helpful service. And the parts knowledge you need for all your maintenance and your repairs. It takes care of you, man. They're good crew over there, and I've always used them. Always been a car guy. You guys know the whole story. But I like, you know, I like to wear a collar, but roll up my sleeves, you know what I'm saying? Used to work on all my old trucks and get all the parts from O'Reilly. And now I just go up there and fiddle around because it's a hobby for me now. So whether you're a car aficionado or an auto novice, you're going to find employees at O'Reilly Auto Parts are knowledgeable, helpful, and best of all, friendly. Stop by O'Reilly Auto Parts today or visit us at O'ReillyAuto.com Adam that's O'ReillyAuto.com.
Dawson
Adam this summer, Pluto TV is exploding with thousands of free movies. Summer of cinema is here. Feel the explosive action all summer long with movies like Gladiator, Mission Impossible, Beverly Hills Cop, Good Burger and Dark of the Moon. Bring the action with you and stream for free from all your favorite devices. Pluto TV stream now pay Never.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Here's a beat from Beat it out with Jay Moore and Adam Corolla.
Adam Carolla
Let me tell you something about the new car rules. The new car rules are the same as the expensive suede slipper rules, which is, I'm not wearing these outside this time. I'm not doing it, man. And then at some point, three months in, you're like, well, I'm gonna check the mail. It's not raining. I could probably just walk out there in it, you know. And then at some point you're like, it's just target. I gotta grab a couple things. I don't want to put socks on. Yeah, the new car rules is like, there'll be no eating inside of this car. And then at some point it's like, ah, curly fries. I'll put it on my lap. You know what I mean? It's not like I'm getting an accident. And at some point you're eating a sloppy Joe in full recline.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Beat it out with Adam Corolla and Jay Moore. Subscribe to the show@adamcarolla.com substack let's get back to the Adam Carolla show.
Mike August
Joe Rogan claims two former presidents called Spotify over his Covid commentary. Podcaster Joe Rogan claimed Tuesday that two unnamed former presidents were involved in the protest against the skeptical discussions about COVID 19.
Adam Carolla
I had three former presidents call about the CSPN trailer package thing. I don't know. I don't want to brag. I don't know what was so insanely threatening about Joe Rogan saying, I'm going to work with my doctor. I would say there's only a handful of human beings who have access to better care and treatment than Joe Rogan and who are more aware of of these treatments than Joe Rogan.
Mike August
I imagine he has an army of doctors on his compound, Some there with the Navy SEALs or something.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, I mean, I would say that if somebody said to me, your kid got Covid, who would you like to recommend protocols? Marc Maron or Joe Rogan? I would go, joe Rogan. Cause I bet he reaches.
Mike August
He's got an endocrinologist on speed dial, right?
Adam Carolla
So then all he did is go, I did what my physician told me to do, which included ivermectin, but also 10 other things. That is threatening. Like, why is that so threatening to everybody? Unless they're in with big pharma and blah, blah, blah.
Mike August
But it seemed like everyone was brainwashed at the time one way or another. Like, everybody was like, hey, don't put your damn needles in me. Or they were like, hey, we hate you. Cause everybody was bored at home and had a lot of time to post on Instagram.
Adam Carolla
But see, I don't understand why everything has to turn into some sort of. Cause it's just, I didn't want my kids getting vaccinated. Cause they didn't need it. It's not cause I don't love them. It's not cause I'm a weirdo. They weren't homeschooled. I don't have a bomb shelter. I just looked at two healthy kids with no pre existing conditions who weren't overweight, and thought to myself, fine, they're fine.
Mike August
Well, but we're sitting here with this information machine just spitting it at us, overloading us, going, oh, oh, you gotta be scared this way or you gotta be scared that way. And you know it's not real.
Adam Carolla
I know. But the thing is, Rob Reiner could easily find out that Hunter Biden's laptop is real.
Mike August
It's in his phone.
Adam Carolla
Just look at his phone and go look at the story. It's easily knowable. I knew it two years before that. Anyway.
Mike August
Yeah, no, I gotta be honest, I just went with the flow. Like, they told me to put a damn mask on at a convenience store. I did.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Mike August
Nightmare.
Adam Carolla
Half the mask I put on, I found on the ground.
Mike August
I just put it over one eye like I'm a kooky pirate.
Adam Carolla
You're going to LAX after the show. I remember walking into LAX during COVID walking across that bridge that went from the parking structure into LAX and going, oh, shit, I don't have a mask. And I looked around and I looked down and I found some Mexican food, dude. So I ate that, I looked down and I saw A fucking used paper mask on the ground, on the cement outside on that bridge. And I was like, all right, well, here we go. Shook it off and put that shit right on.
Mike August
I think you spit on the inside. Wipe out the dust.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, so that's what I did. I probably for sure exposed myself to way more germs by just finding mass on the ground, because I never had. I always forget to bring mine.
Mike August
Choke down the COVID Yeah, I did it.
Adam Carolla
I was at. I did a show in Catalina. Did the same thing, trying to change my tickets. The woman in the kiosk, I was standing outside, she was standing in the kiosk, she goes, you gotta put a mask on. I go, I'm outside, put the mask on. I can't exchange of tickets. Jesus Christ. We're so goddamn stupid. Everyone owes me an apology. I looked around, started looking around, found a fucking one on the ground outside by a dock, a maxi pad on the dock. I could have shoved two tampons in my nose and put the maxi pad over my mouth. And I just stood there and I held the stupid thing. I was like, can I have my tickets exchanged now, you fat bitch?
Mike August
All right, so in other news, MrBeast shuts down Disneyland for a $500,000 date night in an empty park. Cheers to the greatest state in history. The YouTuber said in his latest video with his fiance, Thea boohyson.
Adam Carolla
She shut it down, Shut down the whole park.
Mike August
Him and his bros had a blast. Hey, man, only $500,000, Ace. I want to ride space mountain butt ass naked.
Adam Carolla
You can do it. You can shut that place down.
Mike August
Yeah, 500 grand. Apparently there's a bunch of pictures and whatnot, but I guess, you know, you guys just leave me out here high and dry.
Adam Carolla
All right, well, we've seen Disneyland. We've seen Mr. Beast.
Mike August
Well, I mean, Mr. Beast. Yeah, I don't know. That's just. What do you think about that, Ace? Would you ever shut. What? Would you shut down to have some fun? And would you take this chick on a date for 500 grand? It would cost that much, man, she looks basic, lady.
Adam Carolla
I took a date to Disneyland once from north Hollywood. Got my dad's VW rabbit that I borrowed in high school. I was gonna try to impress his chicken. Drove from north Hollywood in a four speed VW Rabbit from 1977. Drove to Anaheim, got out, parked, went to Disneyland and it was closed. Cause it was fireman's night. You didn't have the Internet. I just walked and I was like, all right, turned around went home.
Mike August
Wait. Firemen. The same firemen that dissed you and wouldn't let you because of affirmative action.
Adam Carolla
Probably out celebrating another victory.
Mike August
Bunch of black firemen going to Disneyland.
Adam Carolla
Yep.
Mike August
Laughing at you, eating popcorn with mouse ears.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, I wouldn't do it, no matter how rich I was. Cause it just feels like a waste, you know? On the other hand, I had to do the thing where you buy the squire, the woman and the kilt, who, like, squires your kids to the front of the line. 600 bucks an hour.
Mike August
Oh, yeah, the fast pass on steroids.
Adam Carolla
I hated it.
Mike August
You hated it?
Adam Carolla
Why?
Mike August
You don't seem like. Wait. You seem more like a Six Flags guy.
Adam Carolla
It was 600 bucks an hour. And then at a certain point, like two hours in, they're like, let's eat, we're hungry. The kids were like, we're hungry. And then I was like, well, no, we're not sitting and eating for half an hour. Cause that's 300 bucks. She's on the clock.
Mike August
Oh, the guilt lady stands there and watch you whoop down a hot dog.
Adam Carolla
At some point, my ex wife's up there and she's like buying food. And she turns to kilt lady. She goes, you want a water? 13 bucks. And lady's like, yeah, I'll have a. Just don't buy her a water. She's getting 600 bucks an hour. Let her go get her own water. And then when you're done, they're like, you gotta tip em. And I'm like, you gotta tip them. Why do you have to just give him $3,700 for that?
Mike August
Hey, he's got the money, man. Oh, geez.
Adam Carolla
But I don't know. I didn't like it.
Mike August
I know. No, you know what? I'm with you. I exactly feel that that little bit of money, like, hold onto it.
Adam Carolla
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Jason Mayhem Miller
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Adam Carolla
All right, let's do another one.
Mike August
Yeah. Next up, Candace Cameron, Bureau. Banned from scary movies or from her house because they're a portal to demons.
Adam Carolla
Is she the one from Full House?
Mike August
She is. What? The big sister from Full House.
Adam Carolla
She's religious, right?
Mike August
She's very religious. And she thinks that there's a opening, a portal to hell if she watches scary movies on the tv. I get what she's saying. She's a little bit skittish, I would say.
Adam Carolla
You know, I like religious people. But then they. They don't do themselves any favors by getting weird every once in a while. The part where they take care of their family and they hold hands and they all eat together, you know, I don't let my kid look at his devices while we're eating, you know, and that kind of stuff. I go, good, good, good. And then they do the demon porthole shit. And then I go, yeah. Why'd you have to ruin it? I was with you. I was with you the whole time.
Mike August
Remember that movie, the Gate? Where it's, like, in the backyard? The little kid opens a portal to hell?
Adam Carolla
Yeah, yeah.
Mike August
Remember that?
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Mike August
That really shocked me as a child. I just kind of being triggered right now.
Adam Carolla
What was the movie? The Circle? The ring.
Mike August
The ring.
Adam Carolla
Was it the ring with the little.
Mike August
Girl in the tape? And you watch a damn tape and it's all seven days later. Here we go. Little demon baby crawling out of the shower. Backwards, upside down. Doing the back bend.
Adam Carolla
Babies crawling backwards. Somebody figured out that scared the shit out of people. I don't know why. It's just a baby crawling, but for some reason, they're going the wrong direction.
Mike August
Backwards. Upside down. It's even worse. Yeah. Where they're doing like a back bend, but then their head turns around that other. And.
Adam Carolla
Oh, the ring. Yeah. I always felt it's always weird, like the haunting. It's like she's a little girl who lost her dolly. La la la la La la. But shouldn't you be haunted by like a gay merchant marine? You know what I mean? Like, shouldn't that guy be loose in your house? Triton, that's a seven year old who lost her dolly like that. That's not this, man.
Mike August
You're crawling out of my jbc. I'm shitting my pants, Ace, and running out of there.
Adam Carolla
I am telling you, I haven't told this story in a while. I'll tell Mayhem, all right? It's been told before, but. But I am telling you the perfect storm of me scared shitless. Okay, Are you ready?
Mike August
Yeah, but I want to hear this one.
Adam Carolla
Okay. I lived in a home from 1923 up in the Hollywood Hills. The home in the Hollywood Hills had a step down living room, the big arched ceiling. But when you got to the living room, when you went to the big window that overlooked the view and you looked back, you'd see a big flat space where it went back into the house. And I had mounted a TV set up there. And the living room, which had hardwood floors and it was on a raised foundation, was perfect for skip and rope. And every night before I went into Loveline, I would skip my rope and I watch my TV back up there. And because you know this Mayhem, skipping rope makes a lot of noise.
Mike August
Yep, it's a thing.
Adam Carolla
And I was in this big room, so I would crank the TV up to 50 so I could watch Entertainment Tonight and skip my rope. Okay? And then I would shut the tv, I would go to work. And this on a Friday night, I went out and I saw the ring down at the AMC, whatever. And I went and saw the ring and I came home kind of a little shooken up, but fine. Lived alone, old 1923 Hollywood House. Went upstairs, went to my bed, went to sleep. At about three in the morning, I heard. I was like, what the hell's going on? I was like, what's happening? What's happening? I see light flickering under my door, my bedroom door. So I opened my bedroom door real slow and I look down these old wooden stairs that went right to the living room. And I see lights flashing in the living room. And now the voice is louder.
Mike August
The tv.
Adam Carolla
Someone's taking over the TV set. Who turned the TV on? I start creeping down the stairs. I can't see. All I'm seeing, I'm seeing I'm behind the TV coming down the stairs, but I'm seeing lights flashing and hearing this loud voice of a man yelling. And I'm like, that's it. I'M in the ring. I've entered the ring. My TV's been taken over. I shut the TV at 7:00. I went to the ring, I went to bed, it took over the tv. It turned on the tv and now I have the demon voice in the TV set. And it's louder than shit. I come creeping down the stairs, I get to the bottom, it's flashing. It's flashing. I'm looking at her like I gotta go in and look back up at the set. But I don't want to get sucked into the TV set.
Mike August
Oh, like the baby on Poltergeist.
Adam Carolla
The poltergeist. Yeah, guys. All right, well, what am I gonna do? I don't know what to do. I can't go back to bed. It's gonna be weird if I call the cops, you know, the tv. I saw the ring four hours earlier, you know, yelling, and it's flashing, and it's flashing. I go in there like real Sloan. I start to look up and I see this preacher. Like a late night old man preacher. Like he doesn't know a pa. If I poured him from a bass drum and he's like screaming the whole time and I'm like, what's going on? Okay, this is an early model flat panel TV. Like early first gen, 42 inch flat panel. I don't know who designed this TV set, but the way it was designed, if the power went off and came back on, the TV would kick on. So evidently the power went off momentarily at like three in the morning, but I was asleep and then it kicked back on and I had the volume all the way to 50. And it was late night, middle of the night. So it was a crazy preacher guy who was just doing his crazy fire and brimstone shit in the middle of the night. And that's why I only heard a man, you know, if I heard Pete Ellis Dodge, Long Beach Freeway, I wouldn't have done it. But I was just hearing one guy's voice screaming the whole time.
Mike August
I had the same mistake. One time at a sleepover at my house, my buddy Tito turned up the TV real loud. Ortiz, Rivera, whole different guy. He set out the alarm.
Adam Carolla
And then in the morning.
Mike August
Because the night before we were watching Loveline on mtv.
Adam Carolla
Good for you.
Mike August
In the morning, it was suddenly at 100% volume. Was Alanis Morris. Said, you, you. I don't know.
Adam Carolla
Well, if I was Alanis Morissette and I heard about her going down on some guy in a theater. In a theater, I would have been fine. With that, it was no TV show I'd ever seen because it was a preacher that comes on at three in.
Mike August
The morning, was screaming at you, articulating about how Ring girls could jump out of TV if you open a portal to hell.
Adam Carolla
There were two guys. One guy. The two guys. The one guy wore two pair of glasses. And he would yell, he doesn't know a bass drum from a pipe organization. And then he would also yell, this guy's no good. There we go. He's a no good. He's a down low no good. Thimble Rigger. I know rigger was. But this guy was yelling the whole time. The volume was all the way up. I was woke up with cobwebs in my head. And I just seen the ring. So I don't think that was a real preacher.
Mike August
I think that was a character played by Dave Coulier.
Adam Carolla
Oh. With Cameron Bray.
Mike August
Oh, yeah. We just mixed the whole story. That's right. This is about Candace Cameron, bruh.
Adam Carolla
That's her new ma' am. I know you gotta get at him.
Mike August
Thanks for having me.
Adam Carolla
I gotta go charge my car.
Mike August
Thanks for listening.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, I know you got. You're out of town.
Mike August
Yeah, I'm going to Car Jitsu.
Adam Carolla
Watching live Car Jitsu. Oh. Where people fighting, cars tied in.
Mike August
The car Mayhem's gonna be there calling all the action.
Adam Carolla
Really?
Mike August
Yeah. God bless.
Adam Carolla
So what happened to me, Mike, in that electric car?
Mike August
I would like to see that match.
Adam Carolla
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Jason Mayhem Miller
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Dawson
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Jason Mayhem Miller
It's time to check Adam's voicemail.
Adam Carolla
Hey, Adam, Bill from Vegas.
Mike August
I just changed the freeway signs to.
Adam Carolla
Read show peace, love, unity and respect.
Mike August
Who the hell does that help?
Adam Carolla
I think we're turning to California.
Jason Mayhem Miller
You can leave us a message at 888-634-1744.
Adam Carolla
All right, Mayhem's got to make a flight, but I got more to talk about, more stuff in the news. I mean, first there's the Indian plane crash, which is insane because, I don't know, 240 people died or so, and one. One guy lived, which is nuts. I mean, the footage is nuts. It's a big plane. It's a 787, which is big. You know, like there's the 737s, those are smaller. And then there's the Airbus, I don't know, 800 or something, and B and C and all that stuff. But the, but the Dreamliners are the big ones. I mean, that is a full size plane and it looks like it just lost power. I mean, it's also. We take for granted flight. It's amazing. It's an amazing thing that we can just get in an airplane and not really think about it. So appreciate it. But one guy survived, which is not because kind of reminds me, I've told you guys this a million times. But it's. When the Bismarck sunk the Hood. The Hood was a naval vessel from England and the Bismarck was German, and the Hood got sunk. And it always stuck with me because I'll screw it up a little, but there are like 1800 souls on that. On the Hood, which was a, you know, I don't know if it was a battleship. I thought it was battleship or just. Yeah, it was a battleship probably. And they went into the water and I think two or three guys came out of the water, which is. It's just an insane thing, those kind of odds. So one guy is left out of all these souls and walked away from it. Now, I don't know what you're Into. I don't know if you're into the karma or the great magnet or Jesus Christ, but I would keep an eye on this guy because there's something going on. I mean, he's either, you know, either want to take him to the track or he's going to end up being a pedophile. Like, there's something. There's something with this guy. Could you imagine if this guy, like. Like, let's just say 11 years from now just got drunk, got behind the wheel of his car and ran your kid over? How cosmically would you square that? You know, the guy who killed John Lennon, he tried to kill himself years earlier. Is that crazy? So the guy, he's living in Hawaii. He goes one day, just parks his car at dawn, at five in the morning. He's going to sit in his car, he's going to watch the sunrise. He's going to take a garden hose from the tailpipe of his car and put it in there and die of carbon monoxide poisoning. And he passes out and he's probably going to be dead in 10 minutes. And a surf fisherman shows up, sees the guys in the car, sees the pipe, pulls the pipe out, brings the guy back. Guy's nursed back to health, then he moves to New York and assassinates John Lennon. So first off, can you picture if Yoko Ono met that guy, the surf fisherman? Like, thanks a lot, bro. Thank you. I mean, literally, John Lennon does not have to be dead. That guy was killing himself and he was already dying and somebody saved him. Mark David Chapman, by the way. All right, so the one guy in seat 11A is one guy. That's it. That's the guy who made it. When I first saw footage of the one guy, I thought it was a hoax. I really did. And maybe it is still. I mean, I thought it was like one of those things where the person, you know, it's running the Boston Marathon and then cuts across the park and then dumps water on their face like they're all sweaty, and then comes out like, oh, man, I just won the Boston Marathon and I'm doughy and white. But it could be a hoax. I don't know. It's a weird hoax. You'd have to be ready for it. I don't know what he was thinking. I mean, look, it's easily done because there's a manifest and he would be on it or not be on it, but either way, it's an incredible story. Also, the other story that I wanted to get into is a woman. The footage Is making the rounds. So I think we should just show the woman, black woman who's going to work. And soy boy and his gal pal are explaining to her why it's more important that they block traffic. I think in New York. Then her get to work. She's. The guy's perfect. He looks like Pippi Longstock. She's yelling. How is it the people protest? If there's any. There's nothing to do. No, it's not. How do you all, as white people feel about stopping a black woman from going to work? Oh, no, not work. All right, pause it for a second. It's funny, but it's also funny that everyone has to, in 2025, break everything down along racial lines. Like, how do you feel the white people stopping black people from going to work? His answer was great. I'm now looking at him. I think he's high. I think he's rolling on something. This guy seems pretty high. There's a new breed of cat out there. Like young dudes who don't really think about work. And work is kind of for suckers and makes you the man or something. And also, if you think about what they're doing. And this is the times we're living in. But this is. This is the problem. Okay? You are protesting something. So what? I mean, what are the two things you're protesting? Or what are the main three, let's say protests. What do we want? I don't like paper straws, but I'm not gonna take to the streets. And I can't get enough of my friends together to go take the day off work and march for me over the scourge that is paper straws. Or I don't like the fact that the Starbucks has. You have to use a code to go into the bathroom, otherwise you can't get in. But I'm not gonna take to the streets. I do not like red left turn arrows. For instance, when the light is green, I should be able to just turn left when it's safe. But I'm not going to take to the streets and protest. So what are we protesting? What are the big protests? Well, there's the climate stuff, right? That's the existential threat. And your kids aren't going to know their kids because they're going to be dead by their 23rd birthday. So climate, if you think about it, let's just say here are the rules to the protest game. All right? We got two problems. We got climate, all right? And then we got Trump, who's Hitlerian and is going to end our democracy. So that's not paper straws and that's not a code to the Starbucks bathroom. That's pretty, that's serious stuff, right? So, and let's just say we're all in. So the climate, this earth as we know it will end in seven years, seven to 14 years, unless we make dramatic change right now. And that includes all of us. Okay, well I got kids and they just turned 19, so I'd like to have them see their 30th birthday. So that would be something to take to the streets for. And then the other is we have a 6 foot 4, 250 pound red haired Hitler who's going to take over and he's going to destroy our democracy and he's going to round up people in unmarked vans, he's going to disappear them into parts unknown. Okay, well then that's a good reason to protest. Now the crossroads we're at as a society is none of this shit is happening. But if you think it's happening, then you should protest. So now we got a situation here. We're at a crossroads, literally. We got a black chick who needs to get to work. And then we got the two people that are explaining that Trump is hit Larian and I guess he's mobilized ice and I'm guessing this is an ICE thing and ice is like the Gestapo and they're showing up with masks over their face and unmarked vans and they're disappearing people into countries that are Central America and they're putting them in cages in Central America. Now if that in fact was happening, then that probably is more important than her getting to her job behind the counter at the Avis at the airport on time. Him. Except for the rub is none of that's happening. That's the tricky part because it's sort of like saying, you see those videos where they scare the person. You know, the wife goes up to the bedroom and the guy jumps out in the gorilla suit and she goes running down the stairs screaming, it's not happening. There's no gorilla in this person's house. It's the husband playing a joke. But are we to blame the woman who's running down the stairs screaming? Now I would argue running down perpetual stairs that never end screaming. Eventually it's on. When you get into year number seven of her running from the gorilla screaming, at a certain point that becomes Al Gore. Then you go, okay, maybe this shit isn't happening. Or if Trump, who is the Hitlerian guy who had his designs on socialism and Destroying the country, being a strong fisted, strong arm dictator. Well, considering he was the president already and none of this happened, then I would make the argument that, like the guy in the gorilla suit, it's time to stop running down the stairs of life screaming. But if, in fact this is happening, then they are correct to keep the black chick from her job. That's what I'm saying. Is there more? I want to see more of that. But it's not happening, and they should know that. Go ahead. We'll see if we can carry on with that. But you can. If you could just move out the wind. How is it the people protest? If there's enough, there's nothing to do. No exploration. How do y' all, as white people, feel about stopping a black woman from going to work? Oh, no, not work. That guy's high. So you don't care about stopping black people from going to work? Look at this line that you guys are causing. I'm not causing no problems. I'm not trying to. We're just trying to leave. Can't leave. All right? There's a way to deal with it, which is run them the fuck over, which I'm fine with. And I'll tell you, DeSantis and the Florida sheriff, Wayne Ivey, who I've hung out with a little bit, is fine with it, too, because, look, if you're in your car and an angry mob is surrounding you and they're blocking you and you're in danger, then, fuck it, run them over. It's them or you. I think we'll play the DeSantis clip first. And we also have a policy that if you're driving on one of those streets and a mob comes and surrounds your vehicle and threatens you, you have a right to flee for your safety. And so if you drive off and you hit one of these people, that's their fault for impinging on you. You don't have to sit there and just be a sitting duck and let the mob grab you out of your car and drag you through the streets. You have a right to defend yourself in Florida. Yeah, well, yeah, you should. I mean, be nice to hear that in every state, but. Yeah, it's so weird, people's relationship with that stuff. You know, the cop car rammed the people. They were jumping on the hood of the cop car. Really? In this country, if a guy was dancing a jig and jumping up and down on the hood of a cruiser, and the cruiser pulled forward and the guy fell off, half of this country would be angry at the cops. There's a way to avoid getting run over. Don't stand in front of cars that need to go. And especially would you trust freaked out mom with her kid in the backseat, Just mama bear just sitting there with her little foot on the accelerator. You really want to stand in front of that crazy woman and menace her with their kid in the back and God knows what pharmaceuticals in her blood or who knows what kind of day she's been having? Could be that time of the month. I'm just saying that's on you if you want to stand in front of that person and menace them. We have the sheriff, too, who I enjoy as well.
Sheriff Wayne Ivey
If you flee arrest, you're going to go to jail tired, because we are going to run you down and put you in jail. If you try to mob rule a car in Brevard county, gathering around it, refusing to let the driver leave. In our county, you're most likely going to get run over and dragged across the street. If you spit on us, you're going to the hospital and in jail. If you hit one of us, you're going to the hospital and jail and most likely get bitten by one of our big, beautiful dogs that we have here. If you throw a brick, a firebomb, or point a gun at one of our deputies, we will be notifying your family where to collect your remains at because we will kill you graveyard dead. We're not going to play. This has got to stop. You're watching what's taking place out there. You're seeing police officers that are being attacked, being spit on, being being put in harm's way just for doing their jobs. You're seeing ICE agents that are being targeted for doing their jobs. And you're seeing obstructionists that are doing all of this standing in the way of law and order.
Adam Carolla
So, all right, Sheriff Wayne. I love this guy. Listen, also, idiots, you're blocking the street. You're stopping the poor black woman from going to work. You're not stopping Trump from getting to the Oval Office. You're spitting in the face of the beat cop who's 26, has nothing to do with this. He's getting the minimum and he's just doing his job. You're not even affecting the people you want to affect. You're affecting Maxine Waters is there yelling at the national guard. Average age, 22 and 4 months. They're just dudes probably making 800 bucks a month, just got pulled out of their bed and forced to go somewhere and sleep on the floor, eat shit on a shingle for breakfast. You guys abusing these guys. Now look, that's not the same as me abusing a meter mate because meter maids take that job. Nobody has to be a meter maid. And when you sign up to be a meter maid, you sign up to hand out chicken shit tickets and ruins people's day. You sign up to be a cop or National Guard. You could be the National Guard and there. Because there was a huge earthquake and you were there guarding the governor's house or something. You don't sign up to do whatever you're upon. You sign up to be a cop. You may sign up to save people or burning cars and take down gang bangers, but yeah, we got you over here in downtown la, but you don't sign up for it. There's certain jobs that deserve the punishment in the ire, like parking enforcement personnel and publicists. You guys signed up for this shit. You didn't have to do it. All right, let's see. I think I got all my extra information off my chest. Thanks for hanging in. Thanks for telling a friend. Gonna be over at Jimmy Kimmel's club in Las Vegas coming up this weekend. Thursday, Friday, Saturday. Wow, man. A lot of comedy. Two shows every night over there and then off to the Irvine Improv doing a live pod over there. That's July 10th. And then Laugh Factory in Covina July 12th. Or I should say 11th and 12th. Check out AdamCroll.com for all live shows. Until next time, it's Adam Kroll for Mayhem Miller saying Mahala.
Jason Mayhem Miller
You can leave us a voicemail at 888-634-1744 and get tickets to CBA's man@adamcarolla.com.
Dawson
This summer, Pluto TV is exploding with thousands of free movies. Summer of cinema is here. Feel the explosive action all summer long with movies like Gladiator, Mission Impossible, Beverly Hills Cup, Good Burger and In Dark of the Moon. Bring the action with you and stream for free from all your favorite devices. Pluto TV Stream now. Pay Never. Most people would rather remove a nest of irate hornets than search for auto and home insurance.
Adam Carolla
That's why the zebra searches for you.
Dawson
Comparing over 100 insurance companies to find savings no one else can Compare. Today@thezebra.com I think I'll wait inside. This summer, Pluto TV is exploding with thousands of free movies. Summer of cinema is here. Feel the explosive action all summer long with movies like Gladiator, Mission Impossible, Beverly Hills Cop, Good Burger and Transformers. Dark of the Moon. Bring the action with you and stream for free from all your favorite devices. Pluto TV Stream now pay never.
Release Date: June 16, 2025
Host: Adam Carolla
Guests: Jason "Mayhem" Miller
In this episode of The Adam Carolla Show, Adam Carolla is joined by Jason "Mayhem" Miller to delve into a variety of hot-button topics, blending humor with sharp critique. The episode primarily focuses on the challenges of electric vehicles (EVs) in California, the inefficacies of government assistance programs, and controversial perspectives on protest movements. Throughout the discussion, Adam shares personal anecdotes and engages in candid conversations with Mayhem, providing listeners with an unfiltered take on contemporary issues.
Adam opens the episode by recounting a frustrating experience with his all-electric Audi during a trip from Los Angeles to Palm Springs. Despite the vehicle's advertised range of 236 miles, Adam and Mayhem find themselves struggling with insufficient battery life due to inaccurate range indicators.
[02:36] Adam Carolla: "We leave here, it's 2:36. We pull into the hotel in Palm Springs, and there's one 46 left on the range."
The conversation highlights the broader issues with California's EV infrastructure. Adam criticizes the state's mandates, arguing that the lack of reliable charging stations and an unstable electrical grid make the push for electric cars premature.
[21:59] Adam Carolla: "If we can't get to Palm Springs and back in our mandated EV car and have an abundant charging network and system, then sorry, you can't mandate it because you're not ready for it."
Mayhem adds to the frustration by detailing their arduous search for functional and compatible charging stations late at night, ultimately forcing them to consider expensive alternatives like Uber rides.
[16:24] Adam Carolla: "This is dicey, that guy. But he probably thinks we're pretty dicey, too."
The duo transitions to discussing government assistance programs, specifically the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP). Adam expresses skepticism about the effectiveness of such programs, questioning the accountability and lifestyle of beneficiaries.
[27:11] Adam Carolla: "If you want to know what a dope Amy Klobuchar is, there's a clip in there with Rob Reiner and her."
Adam critiques a segment featuring Amy Klobuchar discussing SNAP benefits, using derogatory language to challenge her portrayal of the program's recipients.
[42:35] Adam Carolla: "I think if you go too deep into an ideology, it ends up making [people] come across as dumb."
Mayhem supports Adam's viewpoint, emphasizing the need for personal responsibility and budgeting over reliance on government aid.
[42:38] Mayhem: "Everybody's addicted to sugar and carbohydrates... You're not being charitable to these people, killing these people."
Adam shares a personal story about unexpected Mexican food delivered to his doorstep, blending humor with relatable mishaps. He recounts mistaking beef tacos for vegetarian ones, leading to a humorous but frustrating situation.
[35:14] Adam Carolla: "I thought these were vegetarian tacos, so I'll just bring these in for the vegetarian assholes at work here."
This segment underscores Adam's storytelling style, using everyday experiences to highlight broader societal observations.
The conversation shifts to media coverage and political commentary. Adam criticizes mainstream media narratives, particularly regarding figures like Hunter Biden and Joe Rogan's COVID-19 discussions. He questions the integrity and motivations behind certain news stories, suggesting media bias and manipulation.
[64:09] Adam Carolla: "Just look at his phone and go look at the story. It's easily knowable. I knew it two years before that."
Additionally, Adam expresses disdain for how live sports highlights are presented, arguing that revealing outcomes beforehand diminishes the excitement for viewers.
[49:26] Mayhem: "Keep Live Sports the poll that they have."
Throughout the episode, Adam and Mayhem intersperse their discussions with advertisements and endorsements. Notably, Adam promotes products like Hydro, an at-home workout system, and Simplisafe, a home security solution, maintaining the show's characteristic blend of content and commercial segments.
[25:49] Mayhem: "Man, he's seducing you."
[70:15] Mayhem: "You can get 50% off your new Simplisafe system with professional monitoring."
Towards the end of the episode, Adam and Mayhem delve into a heated discussion on protests and law enforcement responses. Adam controversially advocates for extreme measures, suggesting that individuals should run over protesters if they block their way—a stance that garnered significant attention due to its provocative nature.
[73:33] Adam Carolla: "If you're in your car and an angry mob is surrounding you... then, fuck it, run them over."
Jason Mayhem Miller supports this viewpoint, bringing in Sheriff Wayne Ivey's stern stance on handling mob rule and obstruction.
[95:47] Sheriff Wayne Ivey: "If you flee arrest, you're going to go to jail... If you try to mob rule a car... we will kill you."
This segment underscores the show's penchant for unfiltered and controversial commentary, sparking potential debate among listeners.
Adam wraps up the episode by reflecting on the day's discussions, reiterating his skepticism towards government mandates and assistance programs. He encourages listeners to manage personal responsibilities and challenges legislative actions that he perceives as misguided.
[24:31] Adam Carolla: "Maybe there's a couple of EV cars, but we're talking for the masses. That ain't it."
The episode concludes with customary sign-offs, promoting upcoming shows and thanking listeners, maintaining the show's engaging and conversational tone.
Adam Carolla:
"If we can't get to Palm Springs and back in our mandated EV car and have an abundant charging network and system, then sorry, you can't mandate it because you're not ready for it."
[21:59]
Jason Mayhem Miller:
"Everybody's addicted to sugar and carbohydrates... You're not being charitable to these people, killing these people."
[42:38]
Sheriff Wayne Ivey:
"If you try to mob rule a car... we will kill you."
[95:47]
This comprehensive summary encapsulates the key discussions and viewpoints presented in the episode, providing an insightful overview for those who haven't listened to it.