Comedian Chris Distefano + Burt Ward + Banning Pennies

Summary

The Adam Carolla Show - Episode: Comedian Chris DiStefano + Burt Ward + Banning Pennies
Release Date: February 12, 2025

In this engaging episode of The Adam Carolla Show, host Adam Carolla brings together comedian Chris DiStefano and actor Burt Ward—famously known for his role as Robin in the "Batman" series—for a lively discussion filled with humor, personal anecdotes, and incisive commentary on various topics. The conversation spans from light-hearted fart jokes to deep dives into political and social issues, all delivered with Adam's characteristic unfiltered humor.

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1. Introduction and Guest Welcome (00:00 - 01:11)

Adam opens the show with playful banter alongside Jason "Mayhem" Miller, teasing about participating in "restaurants for a limited time." He introduces the guests:

• Chris DiStefano: Comedian
• Burt Ward: Actor, known for playing Robin in "Batman"

2. Fart Humor and Comedic Banter (01:43 - 12:32)

The segment kicks off with a humorous exchange about fart jokes, a recurring theme that highlights the hosts' shared love for crude humor.

• Adam Carolla jokingly references a "fart mashup," showcasing the trio's penchant for irreverent humor.

  "But the guy at the Costco who farts into the intercom, that’s me."
  [05:01] Adam Carolla

• Jason Mayhem Miller shares a funny incident where his daughter’s farting led to unexpected reactions.

  "Have you ever seen Tom Segura's mom's fart?"
  [11:55] Jason Mayhem Miller

• Burt Ward adds to the humor by playing along and contributing his own light-hearted remarks.

3. Career Insights and Live Shows (12:33 - 28:05)

The conversation shifts to careers in comedy and acting, with a focus on live performances and personal goals.

• Jason Mayhem Miller discusses his aspiration to headline Madison Square Garden, highlighting the challenges and excitement of aiming for such a prestigious venue.

  "I'm headlining Madison Square Garden on September 11, 2025."
  [19:57] Jason Mayhem Miller

• Adam Carolla emphasizes the importance of balancing career ambitions with personal life, sharing insights on how to manage success without losing oneself.

• Burt Ward reflects on his experiences in the entertainment industry, particularly his time on "Batman," and the dynamics of maintaining long-term professional relationships.

  "We've rescued more than 15,500 dogs and 350 cats."
  [127:39] Byron

4. Political and Social Commentary (28:06 - 65:04)

This section delves into Adam and Jason's perspectives on various political and social issues, marked by candid and sometimes controversial opinions.

• Immigration and Assimilation: The hosts discuss the impact of immigration on American culture, emphasizing the need for assimilation and language proficiency to maintain societal cohesion.

  "If you just say you're a woman, you could just go into the Wii Spa in Los Angeles, just say you're a woman."
  [63:39] Adam Carolla

• Perception vs. Reality in Politics: They critique how media shapes public perception, often overshadowing factual realities. The conversation touches on the portrayal of political figures and the influence of media narratives.

  "What's the perception? It doesn't matter what's real. What's perceived to be real is what's real."
  [69:57] Jason Mayhem Miller

• Progressive Movements and Trans Rights: Adam and Jason express skepticism towards progressive movements, questioning the efficacy and motivations behind certain policies related to transgender rights.

  "If you just say you're a woman, you could just go into the Wii Spa in Los Angeles."
  [63:39] Adam Carolla

• Race Relations and Political Shifts: The hosts reflect on race relations, particularly in the context of Barack Obama’s presidency and subsequent political shifts in the African American community.

  "After we elected a black president, race relations got much worse after two-term black president."
  [67:29] Adam Carolla

5. Media Consumption and Technology (65:05 - 100:45)

Adam and Jason explore the evolution of media consumption and the increasing invisibility of money through digital transactions.

• Invisible Money: Adam discusses how digital payments have made money transactions invisible, leading to a lack of financial literacy and personal accountability.

  "Money's invisible... everything's just on an automatic pay."
  [98:47] Adam Carolla

• Impact on Behavior: They argue that the shift to digital transactions has changed how people perceive and handle money, affecting behaviors and societal norms.

  "My daughter said, 'Mom took me to get it. No credit.' Because she doesn't have a job. What do you mean?"
  [100:30] Adam Carolla

• Clutter and Subscriptions: The conversation touches on the proliferation of subscriptions and digital services, contributing to financial clutter and psychological stress.

  "Clutter has a humongous impact on our psyche."
  [100:25] Jason Mayhem Miller

6. Personal Stories and Anecdotes (100:46 - 130:42)

The hosts share personal stories, blending humor with heartfelt moments.

• Bert Ward’s Charity Work: Burt Ward talks about his extensive charity work, rescuing dogs and cats, and the unique approach his family takes in caring for these animals.

  "We rescued more than 15,500 dogs and 350 cats. All our animals live in our house, communally with us."
  [127:39] Byron

• Resilience and Support Networks: Adam shares a personal story about being displaced from his home and finding support with friends like Dr. Drew, highlighting the importance of strong personal networks.

  "I'm camping out at Dr. Drew's house now."
  [38:51] Adam Carolla

• Funny Encounters: Jason recounts a memorable incident on a flight where a flight attendant heroically defended a passenger from an aggressive man, illustrating everyday heroism.

  "This lady took the jump seat and said, 'Shut the fuck up and sit there.'"
  [90:32] Adam Carolla

7. Final Thoughts and Closing Remarks (130:43 - End)

As the episode wraps up, Adam promotes upcoming events and projects, ensuring listeners are informed about future shows and special appearances.

• Upcoming Shows: Adam mentions his stand-up shows in Torrance and other locations, as well as Chris DiStefano’s Hulu special releasing on February 21st.

  "I'm gonna be in Torrance on Saturday... Chris DiStefano, Hulu February 21st."
  [101:10] Adam Carolla

• Charity Promotion: Burt Ward highlights his and his wife’s charity efforts, inviting listeners to support their cause at gentlegiantsdogfood.com.

  "We rescued more than 15,500 dogs and 350 cats."
  [127:39] Byron

• Advertisements Skipped: The episode includes several advertisements, including promotions for SimpliSafe, Hydro, Adam and Eve, and Pluto TV, which are non-content sections and thus have been omitted from this summary.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• “But the guy at the Costco who farts into the intercom, that’s me.”
  [05:01] Adam Carolla

• “I'm headlining Madison Square Garden on September 11, 2025.”
  [19:57] Jason Mayhem Miller

• “If you just say you're a woman, you could just go into the Wii Spa in Los Angeles.”
  [63:39] Adam Carolla

• “What's the perception? It doesn't matter what's real. What's perceived to be real is what's real.”
  [69:57] Jason Mayhem Miller

• “Money's invisible... everything's just on an automatic pay.”
  [98:47] Adam Carolla

• “We rescued more than 15,500 dogs and 350 cats. All our animals live in our house, communally with us.”
  [127:39] Byron

• “This lady took the jump seat and said, 'Shut the fuck up and sit there.'”
  [90:32] Adam Carolla

---

Key Takeaways

• Humor as a Bond: The shared appreciation for crude humor, particularly around fart jokes, strengthens the camaraderie between Adam, Chris, and Burt.

• Career Ambitions and Balance: Insights into the struggles and aspirations within the comedy and acting industries, emphasizing the need for personal balance amidst professional pressures.

• Critical Perspectives on Society: Candid discussions on immigration, political perceptions, and social policies, reflecting the hosts' unfiltered take on contemporary issues.

• Impact of Technology: Exploration of how digital transactions and media consumption shape modern behaviors and societal norms, highlighting both positive and negative aspects.

• Personal Resilience and Support: Heartfelt stories about overcoming personal challenges with the support of friends and community, underscoring the importance of strong relationships.

• Charitable Efforts: Burt Ward's extensive charity work with rescued animals showcases the positive impact of dedicated personal initiatives.

This episode offers a rich blend of humor, personal stories, and thoughtful discussions, providing listeners with both entertainment and substance. Adam Carolla, along with his guests, delivers an episode that is as insightful as it is hilarious, making it a standout installment in The Adam Carolla Show series.

Transcript

[Angel Reese]

Huddle up. It's me, Angel Reese. You can't beat the post game burger and fries, right? Know what else you can't beat? The Angel Reese special. Let's break it down. My favorite barbecue sauce, American cheese, crispy bacon, pickles, onions and a sesame seed bun, of course. And don't forget the fries and a drink. It's gonna be a high C for me.

[Adam Carolla]

Sound good?

[Angel Reese]

All you have to do to get it is beat me in a one on one. I'm just playing get the Angel Reese special at McDonald's now. Ba da ba ba ba.

[Adam Carolla]

I participate in restaurants for a limited time. Well, in this episode. Very funny comed and Chris DiStefano joins me for a candid conversation. Good laughs with that dude. Also, Batman's Burt Ward is going to join us up to some interesting stuff as well. We got the news with Mayhem and we have all that right after this. All right, this show brought to you in part by SimpliSafe. If you have 30 minutes, you never have to worry about break ins ever again. Just go to simplisafe.com Adam get all the sensors you need, all all the help you need as well to set it up. Custom system is going to show up post [e-mail] Annab.

[Chris DiStefano]

From Corolla One Studios in Glendale, California, this is the Adam Carolla show. Adam's guest Today, comedian Chris DiStefano and actor Burt Ward. Plus the news and trending topics with Jason Mayhem Miller. And now a penn for his thoughts about Trump getting rid of the penny. Adam Carolla.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, get it on. Got to get on a treasure getter mandate. Get it on. Chris Destevino back in studio. Good to see you, my friend.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Look at us. We're here, baby. I was here an hour early.

[Adam Carolla]

I know it's the car. We should get into that because it's a part of show business that has always driven me insane and it used to be more prevalent. So in show business, they want eyes on you all the time. That's the whole thing, right? And so you go, what time's the taping? They go, 4:00. They go, what time do I need to be there? Noon.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Right?

[Adam Carolla]

And then you go, why four hours early? And they go, hair and makeup. And I go, that's eight minutes. There's no my guys. My hair is just my hair. There's nothing there.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

You know what I think too A lot of this now with just how easy it is to just book yourself on an app, book a flight, book a car. It's almost like there's too many. You pay people to make your life harder. Where it's like I'm now giving away more of my money when if I could just do this myself, which I very easily could on these apps, I would be at the place on time. I'm not an asshole. I know where I'm supposed to be and more time. I'm supposed to be there. So I could just get the car myself. I can book the flight myself. I'll sit in the seat I want. You'll have my Delta Sky Miles attached. It's just. But yet you're taking money from me to get in the way.

[Adam Carolla]

They want to know where you are. So what happens is they go, you're doing Bill Maher show or whatever. They go, they'll send the car at noon. I'll go, I'll just drive myself. They'll send the car, I'll drive myself. Because they want a guy reporting where you are. And like we were talking about. And it always drives me nuts. I don't like having the guy wait. They always do have the guy wait, but with ways. No more excuses. Right? Because you can tell in advance it's gonna take 18 minutes or 26 minutes.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Well, dude, I have a whole day of stuff I gotta do tomorrow too. And they already told me that they're moving all my cars up one hour because of possible mudslides and rain. I'm like, guy, then whatever. I'm not getting up at 6am to do something I have to do at 9.

[Adam Carolla]

I know, but it's a good sign. It means you've arrived. It's a showbiz thing. Even if you arrive an hour early, it means you've arrived.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

You've arrived. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

You've arrived.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah. They put me in the Nice Escalade. It is nice. I was deeply farting into this beautiful 20, 25 Escalade seats.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, I got some fart humor. I'm gonna highlight that because I got some fart humor coming your way.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Amazing. I gave myself pink eye the other day farting into my phone. Cause I like to record the farts and send it to my group chat. And then I took a call and I got pink eye, but it's gone now.

[Adam Carolla]

I got pink eye too, but I don't think it was from farting into my phone. But I love. And guys love farts, right? Love a fart story. All right, well, now I'm going to skip. I'm going to skip to it because we're talking about farting Farting has brought, you know, some of the greatest. Okay, you're a professional comedian. I'm a professional comedian. And then people sometimes will go, what makes you laugh? You know, and they'll go, you like Bill Burr? And I'll go, yeah, he's fine. But the guy at the Costco who farts into the intercom, that's me. That's when I laugh the hardest.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Me, too. And it's like you look at even the greatest, you know, I like George Carlin's, like, one of my favorites legend. If you watch his specials, very often, he would have, like, a special about how, like, HIV is taking over the planet and then a fart joke right away because he knew that's the correct. That's what makes us laugh.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, the other day, and, I mean, a couple of weeks ago, somebody sent me a guy farting to the tune of a Chris Isaac song. And I don't know if you've seen. Made me laugh. And then I added my own song to it, and then my friend Mike added a song to it. It's kind of a. A mashup. But we will find that we also have as. I think I. Well, speaking of farting, I think the last time you came in here, I was talking about a man show bit I did that sort of had your name on the end of it. Was I talking to you about that?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

No, not that I remember.

[Adam Carolla]

Weirdly, it's not your last name exactly, but I did a bit called Dr. Stefano's Anal Emporium.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Oh, yes, we did talk about this.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes, I must have, because every time your name comes up, I picture Dr. Stephanie's Anal Emporium. All right, so we'll find the fart thing.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

I have so many things to talk to you about. You mentioned off the air that after this or like on Friday, you're heading to San Fran. I am doing a show in San Luis Obispo. Slow. And. And they always warn you when you go places like, don't call it San Fran. You know, don't. They don't like it. You call it sf, don't call it slow. Call it San Louis or call it slow, but don't my. Fuck off. Yeah, everyone fuck yourself. Who cares that you're fucking from North Hollywood?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Call it whatever the fuck you want. My shows are sold out there, so I'll do what I want. I don't care. America's back, right?

[Adam Carolla]

All right, we have. We have the fart mashup.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

If you like farting, buckle up, because you're going to enjoy this.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I mean, here's the thing too with farts is whoever the creator is, whoever it is you believe they have to have a sense of humor too. Because that sound can only be created by the design. You have to make a very tight hole, a very small circle, and then produce a lot of gas. Because if they made the assholes bigger and wider, we wouldn't get this sound. So that sound is there for a reason. There's no. Humans from the beginning of time have thought that that was funny. And that's by design.

[Adam Carolla]

I would say male humans did. Females, not so much. They've never really. And it's weird when you think they share, like, you know, I got used to hanging around with Kimmel a lot. And you're doing stuff with Kimmel, right?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Sure.

[Adam Carolla]

He loves farting so much. So much. And I remember once I was with my girlfriend early, like early in the. I don't know if this ever happened. Well, okay, so there's girlfriend farts. There's the one where you're used to sleeping alone. Could be for a year or two years. And then you get into a relationship and the first couple of nights she sleeps over, you're asleep.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Right.

[Adam Carolla]

And you're used to just letting them rip because you're not used to any company in bed. That's a danger. I was used to being alone. And I was driving with my girlfriend, new girlfriend. And I let one fly in the car. And my hand instinctively went down and wafted up toward my face. And she was looking at me and she went. She goes, oh, my God, what are you doing? And I thought real fast, and I said, I just farted. You want me to put my head between my legs? I'm driving a car. How else am I gonna get it to my face? I got on the offense. Yes, Is what I did.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Smart.

[Adam Carolla]

Smart.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Because, you know, it's what it. If they want to be with you, they have to know if you're a guy that farts. I'm a guy that farts. I have daughters now. All my daughters fart funny. You know, like, I have a nine year old, she rips farts in class. We've gotten, you know, her mom's gotten calls to the. My girl, you know, my wife, the.

[Adam Carolla]

Public fart is the best. The rip in class.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Oh, the best. I used to wait to. When we would play high school, our bleachers were wooden benches. And I would wait till there was like a pause in the action and I would let a fart rip off. You know, 1930s high school, wooden benches and just. I mean, the sound. It would have. Even the coach would laugh. You know, you want to get. You want to yell at the kid who's farting, but as a guy, you're like, it's nice. It's solid.

[Adam Carolla]

Listen, I don't know when you're gonna see Kimmel next, but, I mean, my. You can't un. You can't outdo the fart I gave him.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I'm doing his show tomorrow. Maybe. I hold in, like, a amazing fart. Let it rip on his show live. And I'll say, that's for Carolla.

[Adam Carolla]

I have so many farts. I've told this story too many times, but it's just. It's the best. He was washing dishes at my house one poker night, and his back was to me, And I came up behind him, and I had a big one.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

And now him hearing it is fine. And then he does the shields with the shirt up. I needed him to fully. I needed him to consume this fart, you know? And I was behind him, and I didn't know what to do, so I grabbed a canister of coffee, which had whole beans in it and had, like, three beans rattling around at the bottom of it, Trader Joe's style. And I pop the cap off, and I plant it on my ass. I give it a half turn, you know, just to vapor lock it, filled it, capped it, handed it to Jimmy. I said, jimmy, ever smell Sumatra and whole roasted bean? And he pulled the lid off, and he shoved his face into it, and he went. And then he pulled his head back, and he went. And I could see the wheels turning. He knew. He knew. Because you can bring a horse to water, but you can't make a drink. You can fart on your friend, but you can't make them inhale it.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Inhale it.

[Adam Carolla]

He sucked it all up good. This is the greatest day of my life.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Have you ever seen Tom Segura's mom's fart?

[Adam Carolla]

No, I haven't seen that.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Have you ever? Guys, ever seen that? Tom Segura's mother, she ripped a fart and he recorded. Was almost to the point where I had to, you know, honestly ask Tom, say, please, like, look me in the eyes and tell me that you didn't fake that that wasn't an auto tune. And he was like, I swear on my family.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

My mother has been ripping the most epic, legendary farts my whole life, and you can never catch her. And I caught her full video while she was washing the dishes rip out a fart that was maybe 15 seconds long. And the way the shock in her face when Tom turns. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, and I gotta say this.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I mean this. If you like the Chris Isaac one, this is. And she's a little small, like Spanish woman.

[Adam Carolla]

That's the beauty of the fart game.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Doesn't matter.

[Adam Carolla]

Doesn't matter.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah. For those of you who've been listening to the show for a while, you know that I talk a big game about what my mom can do in the fart department. Yeah. You know, she forbid me to play this. Yeah. She was like, I'm your. She's like, you want to play a clip of your mother farting? She's like, yeah, could you put me any lower? That's what she kept saying. This is a magical moment.

[Burt Ward]

You can't.

[Adam Carolla]

No one's that good an actress. Meryl Streep's not good enough to pull that face off.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Look at her.

[Adam Carolla]

That's the greatest.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I mean.

[Adam Carolla]

That'S epic.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Could you imagine? Because have you ever. I've never heard a fart like that come out of a guy.

[Adam Carolla]

No, that's. There is a fart, okay? There's only one fart where you get that kind of width and breadth and length. It is end of first date fart. So the longest fart you'll ever do is the end of the first date. So you pick them up at 6:30 or 7, it's off for Thai food or what have you. Then at some point it's off to the movie theater and you get what I would always call nerve gas. You know, you have a little. I, I have cut a date short. I don't mean date short, but like pick up, you know, Spanish tapas, you know, food, drink, then off to the theater for two hour movie, popcorn and more drinks, you know, and then back to her apartment. And at some point, heavy makeout, sesh on the sofa, bra coming off, and I've wrapped it, right. Because I got four and a half hours worth of nerve gas and she's dry humping and I don't know where to go. You can't do that at this point. The longest fart is the fart when you get into your car and shut the door after the first date.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Right.

[Adam Carolla]

That's. That's lengthwise.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

That's. As long as I think that that's accurate. I. The only time I was on a date once and the, the. I've. This is never. I couldn't believe that what was happening. She. We're. We're in the back of a cab. We're slowing down in New York City to a red light, and she. The car was not completely stopped, and I thought things were going great. I mean, we're laughing, joking, and she opened the door with the car still going, like, 5 miles per hour. And, like, rolled out of the car in a way, like, stepped out, and then she fell a little bit and just started walking back, jogging down Second Avenue. I was like, what the hell? I couldn't. The driver just kept driving where the traffic was. I was like, go around the block. Let's look for her. Couldn't find her. Texting her, no response. Finally, I just went home. Didn't hear from her for, like, two, three days. And then finally she texted me back, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I. I had an emergency, and so I knew one of her girlfriends, and so I DM'd her, and I said, what happened? Like, did I do something? Like, I was, like, actually nervous, and she was like, honestly, I don't know for sure, but I just. I think she had to take a shit. Dead serious. And I was like, whoa. And she was. I was like, are you serious? Like, it wasn't anything with me. She goes, I'm telling you, she's not being honest with me. We are. The girls here think that she must have had to take a shit, because what else could it have been?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

It's probably the truth.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Where as a guy, I feel bad for a woman, because as a guy, I would. I'm the guy. On the first date, I would rip a fart. And it's kind of like, if it was really an emergency, because it's kind of like, if you want to be with me, then you just kind of got to know that this is just who I am. I think it's funny, especially if I'm on creatine. If I'm loading creatine at that moment, then you have no chance.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Just come into the date with an N95. All right.

[Adam Carolla]

I got many other things to discuss with Chris, and I should say that there's dates all over the place. There's podcasts as well. History Hyenas with Giannis Pappas, who's been in here. Good dude. That's a fun one. And then there's Chris of Chaos as well. Podcasting and then Dates nyc. Coming up, you guys are doing the live hyness podcast, right? February 26th and Tampa, Florida. Coming up, March 14th and March 15th, Orlando, Florida, so people can go to ChrisDomedy.com right. For our live day.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Big one. Yep.

[Adam Carolla]

The special, which, I gotta apologize. I saw the trailer. It was funny. I tried to download it last night, and it said, you're locked out or you're not eligible for this. But the special is out. The 21st. 21st on Hulu. 21st, February. Hulu's making a hard push, right?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Hell, yeah. They've picked 12. They're doing 12 comedy specials this year. A comic a month.

[Adam Carolla]

And, yeah, Sebastian was just in here talking about, I think, going to Hulu.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

He's gonna do it. Bill Burr, Jim Gaffigan.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Those are some pretty heady names Andrew.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Santino lumped in with. Yep. I feel like it was good. This is the first year of it all, so I think they're just trying to compete with Netflix, you know? And I gotta be honest, like, working with the people at Hulu, I'm not just saying this, like, the executives there are really, truly, like, just the best. Like, they're not your typical TV executive people. Like, they're just good, good, cool peeps.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, you know, you kind of have to be these days because there's so many options. You know, it's basically way back in the day, you'd go to a ballpark, and they had the stadium hot dog and the stadium burger, and it was gray and it was shitty, and fuck you. And it was, you know, 22 bucks, and you get what you get. You know what I mean? But when other places start popping up.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Good point.

[Adam Carolla]

Now you gotta compete, you know? And when you're the only game in town, your attitude starts changing. I mean, that's what you deal with with the government, you know? Like, you go down to the Department of Building and Safety and try to pull a permit, they're like, fuck off.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

And you're like, fuck you. I'm going across the street. And it's like, no, you're not.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

It's us or nothing. It's tsa, right? Right. TSA is like, fuck you. Right. They don't care. So whenever there's zero competition, it always ends up with an attitude.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Right.

[Adam Carolla]

But when you can go across the street and sell it there, whatever, then people have to change, right?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah. And I think Hulu, they've done a good job, and I'm excited about it. And then the other big thing, it's a ways away, but I'm headlining Madison Square Garden, September 11th.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, my God.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Like, the arena, which is wild.

[Adam Carolla]

How many?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

15,000. It's a wild here. I'm very excited to do it because it's almost like, frees me mentally. It's the only goal I've ever had in my life was to do comedy at the Garden. And so, you know, I did Radio City. I did the theater at Madison Square Garden two years ago. And so they were like, okay, we think you can do the arena now. And so. But here's the. Here's the place in comedy that I'm at. September 11, 2025, come to New York, headlining Madison Square Garden. And then the next weekend, I think I'm doing the Milwaukee Improv.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

So that's just what. But honestly, I don't mind. I've only ever wanted to be known. I like, you know, I travel, whatever. But, like, if you told me, hey, you can make a living and your family can have what they want, and you can just do, like, the original 13 colonies, I would do that. I like being on the east coast.

[Adam Carolla]

You know, okay, first off, just making a living doing standup or doing comedy, whatever. So far ahead of the game, especially where you come from, what you thought you'd be doing, other jobs you've had jobs that your friends have now, who you were in high school with. I mean, it's all. It's all gravy. And I really would. I'd hope that everyone take that approach. I do. I realize I get to stand around, tell jokes, hold a beer, talk about farting. You know what I mean? Get paid, get fed for free, you know, whatever. I mean, there's always going to be that, oh, man, that guy's doing this and I'm doing that. You know what I mean? But, you know, when you think about musicians, musicians will play arenas at the height of their power, and then they go do an acoustic set at McCabe's in Santa Monica in front of 44 people or something. And it's cool. It's cool that the who came to the Troubadour. Right. You know what I mean? So if you look at yourself playing Madison Square Garden and then going off to the Improv in Milwaukee, that's kind of the who playing the Troubadour.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah, it's cool. And to be honest with you, you know, I like Louis CK we talked a couple of weeks ago, and he was just saying, I'm telling you, he's like, at the arena level, he was like, when you're like, at the top, like, obviously, Louie got to the top, top, top. He was like, there's no oxygen up there. It's like climbing a mountain. He was like, you'll see, like, when you're on stage at the Garden, God willing, it sells out and you have fun and you stay in the moment, but you'll feel like, oh, man, the comedy show at the beacon, which is 2,000 seats, would be better because it's like the arena is. It's for you. The fans will love it. It'll be great. But, you know, he was like, I'm telling you, you're. You're gonna. You're gonna really settle into your career when everywhere you go, you do like a thousand seat theaters. Like, that's the. That's the vibe, you know? And he was like, but, but. So I thought that was interesting too, because I. And I appreciate what you say because it's very easy in this industry for, like, the agents to be like, oh, pre sale didn't go like we wanted to, and getting nervous, and it's like, guys, guys, guys. This is all amazing. Like, don't worry. The show's in seven months. Don't worry about it. You know, And I'm very much having to tell that again. Sometimes I just feel like we're in this industry, we're giving people our money, and they're making your life harder at times where you're like, it's like this thing that I'm starting to. I really like my agent. He's great. And new manager. Shout out Baby Doll. He's great.

[Adam Carolla]

But there's other Baby Doll Dixon.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Dixon's your manager?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Dixon's my manager. He's fucking great.

[Adam Carolla]

Do you see there's a picture of him in the hall?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah. Oh, y. Yeah. Baby Doll's. I mean, this guy smoked like 50 cigarettes in. I mean, it's the picture of him.

[Adam Carolla]

Jimmy's. You know, the Christmas card thing.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Sure, I got one. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay, good. Yeah, yeah, Baby Doll. The picture of Jimmy had the portrait of him is him smoking and in my entry hall there. But, yes, Baby Doll.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah, Baby Doll's the best. But I'm just saying, like, in it, sometimes I'm like, you know, you'll like all these things. Like, my father, he gave me advice, and I didn't take it. Two years ago when I. You know, doing comedy in New York is, like. Has always been my dream. I've only had two goals in this ever, and that's. One is to headline Madison Square Garden, and the second one is to have a sitcom on the air about my father. So. So those are like, the only. Like, I wasn't a guy growing up. I didn't Know every comedy album. I wasn't watching it. Like, some of my peers, like, they know everything. They eat, sleep, and breathe comedy. That was never me. I was a physical therapist, and I just.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I was a jock.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

And that's what I did in high school. Like, I didn't do drama. I didn't think there would be a part where you talk.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah. I don't know all the movies. I don't know the directors. Like, a lot of my peers, like, they. They're like, really. Students, entertain, show business. And that just was never me. I've had these two very, you know, those have been the goals. And so, you know, when I. My dad told me, when he was like, you know, when I. Two years ago, I did Radio City, which was, you know, big goal, and then it sold out, and he was like, do not add a show. Don't add a show. Your age is going to tell you to add a show. Everyone's going to tell you to add a show. Don't add a show. Just hang out, like, in this moment, because then what's going to happen is if the second show is not going to sell out as quick as the first, most likely. And now this win that we have here as a family, you're going to now take months and months and months and just be like, oh, why isn't the second show selling out? He's like, I'm telling you, do not, you know, do not add the second show. But then I was like, I listened to him for a minute, and then my agent was like, yeah, but here's how much money you'll get in the second show. I was like, add the fucking show. And then my dad was as right as right can be. And for six months, I just suffered while those tickets trickled in on the second show.

[Adam Carolla]

You know, it was so funny. I don't know why this reminded me of this, but when that white DB on the Eagles took his pick six to the house and like, I don't know, first quarter, early second quarter, I was like, if I were that guy, I would have. If I were that guy, the next time I came back on the field, I would have rolled my ankle intentionally and just went and sat on the bench because I got a pick six. We're going to get a win.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

You know what's going to happen? I'm going to get burned for a TD right in the fourth quarter and then feel bad walking off the field.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Right.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm just going to fake an injury right now and just go plant my Ass on the bench. And I'll just go out of here as a winner and be. People just remember that I had a pick six.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah. I mean, it's a good. Going out on top is so underrated. Almost nobody does it when it's like, we should all just do that. I would have retired five years ago if I was you, Adam. What the hell are you doing this shit for? I can only ruin your career.

[Adam Carolla]

It's sad. It's like Muhammad Ali fighting Larry Holmes at the end. And Larry's like waving in the ref and I'm just getting peppered doing the show.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

You have Parkinson's. We're like, adam, go the fuck home.

[Adam Carolla]

I know, you're right. I know. It's the tax burden. I owe the government money. I got to keep fighting goddamn state. No, you're right. You're right. I should have hung it up.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Or just, you know, not hung it up, but died in some sort of James Dean type way. You know what I mean? Car rollover situation. You know, been a legend. People would have kept. They would have added stories. I saw that guy do a two hour set. Made up, completely made up. You know, like, they would have. There would have been the legend versus kind of sad what happened.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah. Now you just keep going and going and going that the lexicon changes. You don't even realize.

[Adam Carolla]

You say something, fart jokes, oh, God.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Get the color guy in here. And they're just like, jesus, Adam, why don't you retire?

[Adam Carolla]

You're right. So, yeah. And it's true that the agent's job is to like, keep throwing track out in front of your train, you know?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Right.

[Adam Carolla]

And so what ends up happening is everyone is just sort of doing what they do, but the next thing you know, you're going in a thousand different directions.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah. And especially with kids and a family in this business. Like, I love, like I said, I love my agent, I love my manager. They're great. I really do. But there is this thing where you're like. We're like, okay, I got into this business when I didn't even have family and kids. Now I do. And I'm like, what am I really doing this for? Why do I wanna do. I wanna really go? Why am I going on a. On a red carpet for a movie I'm not even in? Okay. Like, just to be like, look at me. It's like gluttonous a little bit. I'm like, you know, or going away when somebody will just be like, why don't you. Oh, you go on your tour. Go away for a month. I'm like, no, dude, I'm not gonna miss all my kids, like, lives, you know? Like, I don't want to do that.

[Adam Carolla]

Baby Doll. I had a great story with Baby. I got a lot of Baby Doll stories.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

He's the best.

[Adam Carolla]

He's the best. But, Baby Doll, at one time, I don't know why this story stuck in my head. Someone was making an offer. I don't know, Comedy Central, whoever, back in the day. And so I said, what was their offer? And he goes, they made an offer. It was so bad. I said, adam, Carolla doesn't roll over in bed for that kind of money. And then he goes, that offer is so insulting. I'm not even gonna tell Adam what you said. And I said, yeah, okay, what was it? And he goes, I'm not telling you. I go, okay, I get it. I'm glad you told them that. You're not gonna tell me. Cause it's so insulting. But what was the offer? I'm not telling you.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

What the hell.

[Adam Carolla]

He wouldn't tell me. He said it was too insulting, and he wasn't gonna tell me. I didn't give a shit.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

But he must have gotten the money up and got the offer. He's the best at negotiating.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, he's the best. I mean, we. God, we met. Me and Jimmy met him. I don't know. Pre man show. During the man show. I'm trying to think when Baby Doll rolled into town smelling a cologne and nicotine.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

He goes, you know, because we. We. For my promos, for my September 11th show at the Garden, we did. We got onto the court with the Knicks. John Starks was a part of the promos. It was great. And Baby Doll was taking all these pictures, me and Starks and shooting around all that, and then, you know, finish the promos. Three, four hours later, I get a text from Baby Doll. Out of all those pictures, the only picture he sends me, his client, is a picture of him taking a layup at the Garden. I'm like, what about the pictures of me and Starks? Me. Me standing under my sign that says I'm headlining. You send me a picture of you taking a layup.

[Adam Carolla]

He's the star. You need to know. You need to know that.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah, but I love that.

[Adam Carolla]

All right. I have stuff to get into. I don't know why I. Okay.

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[Adam Carolla]

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[Adam Carolla]

Somebody tweeted me an advertisement for pickleball shoes. And I've always laughed about this because my daughter played volleyball and somebody figured out that we need to make a shoe for everything. And you're a perfect guy to talk to about this because you played basketball at a high level. And my daughter. All volleyball games are played on a basketball court.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

Unless there's no shoes on the beach. Oh, they're going to start selling shoes for beach volleyball, I predict. So my daughter would be like, I got to spend 100 bucks for volleyball shoes. And I'd be like, you have basketball shoes? Yeah, that's not going to work. I said, LeBron James can move around. You know, Michael Jordan got. Got around. Okay. In basketball shoes on a basketball court. You're. You're just in the middle of the court.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, now I need lateral support. We're moving forward. We're moving backwards. I'm like, yeah, have you seen Michael Jordan? He's wearing a basket. That's a basketball court. No, no, we need a basketball. We need the volleyball shoe. Yeah.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

It's also too. It's all, it's all marketing and it's all perception because, like, even Michael Jordan, the shoes that the Jordans, now that we all love and. And swoon over, that we would only ever wear to. With jeans. You know, people wear them to their wedding. That's what he would play. NBA basketball games. And Dr. J, those converse sneakers. Right. That we would be like, oh, you could never even, you know, orthopedics would say, you can't run in those. You'll blow your knee out. Dr. J won scoring Titles in those sneakers, dunking on people. So it's like this whole idea of the pickleball shoe or the volleyball shoe, it's like that's all marketing in reality is you can wear any shoe you want and play the game.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Well, I would say, especially if you're playing on a basketball court, 100% you're playing volleyball, you can wear a basketball shoe. Cuz that's what the court was. But pickleball, this is next fucking level.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I mean, the pickleball, first of all, I mean, the sport has come out of nowhere. I mean, I thought pickleball to me was always just what the Chinese guys played. I was just like, oh, Chinese guys do pickleball and they smoke cigarettes, hovering with their asshole an inch off the ground. That's what, that's Chinese.

[Adam Carolla]

When you can't afford a tennis court or like you don't have the room for a tennis court in your backyard, then you go with pickleball.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Right.

[Adam Carolla]

But now, evidently there's a shoe for pickleball, except for it's. Here's, here's. All right, here's what I would, I would, I would bet you this. If there was a guy who was a, let's just say a five at pickleball with the pickleball shoe, he would still get beat by a guy who was a six at pickleball wearing huaraches.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

100%.

[Adam Carolla]

That's the sport a guy won, I think in 1968, maybe Mexico City. Somebody can look it up. The guy won a marathon barefoot.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yep.

[Adam Carolla]

Which, by the way, we, somebody needs to build a statue to that guy. Because he wasn't running on a rubberized track indoors. He was just running through Mexico City.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah. He was stepping on heroin syringes.

[Adam Carolla]

He was like human feces stepping over drug addicts. Cobblestone. Yeah. There were cars on fire, drug lords shooting it out, and he's just chugging barefoot.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah, yeah, the pickleball shoe. I mean, it also, I gotta be honest with you, to me, it kind of looks like shit. I mean, this shoe, this looks like an orthopedic old person shoe.

[Adam Carolla]

But it can't look like your basic tennis shoe because then people would go, well, what do I need these for?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Right.

[Adam Carolla]

But this is a bigger, this is a bigger grift than volleyball shoes, the pickleball. Because anybody could wear any shoe and play any tennis shoe and play pickleball.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah. Because what is, what is the sports scientist going to say is the difference of this shoe? That how it helps you more in Pickleball. Specifically over, you know, tennis.

[Adam Carolla]

A BB Bikilla, an Ethiopian runner back in the day, competed 1968 Olympic Marathon, Mexico City, but did not finish attempting to run the marathon with a broken leg.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Sick.

[Adam Carolla]

Hold on. But where. But I didn't ask about broken leg, did I? Barefoot. Hey.

[Byron]

Wow.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

And he won.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, he. Oh, he ran barefoot with a broken leg. Oh, okay.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Oh, that's even worse.

[Adam Carolla]

That's the guy. Okay, wait, wait. He forced to drop out due to the pain of a broken leg, but not the bare feet. Okay, how far did he make it? And did he want shoes? And is Ethiopia just so poor they couldn't afford shoes for the marathon? Like, sorry, we don't have 28 bucks. But I mean, also, it had to be. Listen, I used to be impressed. The Rams and a couple of teams had barefoot field goal kickers.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Right?

[Adam Carolla]

And those barefoot field goal kickers in Buffalo in December would still kick barefoot.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Wait a minute. They kicked the ball with their barefoot.

[Adam Carolla]

Never heard of the barefoot kicker?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

No, I remember there used to be kickers, like, they had, like, a specific style shoe and they would wear the helmets with just the one bar. But I never saw the barefoot kicker.

[Adam Carolla]

There are a couple of them. And the Rams, you can look it up. The Rams had a barefoot kicker. This is like modern era, sort of mid-80s, later-80s. Thing that he's cracked me up is he wore the top of the sock, which is stupid. It's just weird. Like, I need something, but I'm a barefoot kicker. Yeah, he kicked that fucking ball. And he would do it in Buffalo in wintertime. Outdoor stadium.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I don't even understand how that's possible. I mean, wouldn't you break your toes kicking that ball?

[Adam Carolla]

A football in the cold gets pretty damn hard and it. It stings. Oh, God. What was the Rams and there were a couple guys in the league. It wasn't just the Rams.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Right.

[Adam Carolla]

Crawford or something.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Well, I know that.

[Adam Carolla]

Tony Franklin.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Tony Franklin, okay.

[Adam Carolla]

Tony Franklin kicked barefoot.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Well, I mean, maybe they just start to get desensitized on the nerves. Because I know that, like, when you like the Muay Thai fighters, they kick so much that they get desensitized.

[Adam Carolla]

Mike Lansford was the Rams guy. There were more than one barefoot kicker in the league, which sounds nuts, but again, outdoor stadium, New England. You know what I mean? November.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

No, thanks. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

All right. The other thing I wanted to ask you about that made me laugh is I'm displaced now. I don't. My home. I cannot go back to my home in Malibu. So I'm out.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Turn down.

[Adam Carolla]

It did not burn down. I just can't go back because there's no power, there's no water, there's no gas, there's no utilities. So you can't go there. And I don't even know if they'd let you go there. But anyway, I can't go back. So I've been bivouacking it. I put the whack in bivouac. Dr. Drew. I'm at Dr. Drew's house and I'm sitting on Dr. Drew's sofa last night and I'm turning, I'm watching Netflix and there's a new cable TV has figured out there's two subjects we'll never get tired of hearing new content on Hitler and O.J. hitler and O.J. we have a bottomless consumption for those. Give me the next. I've seen 26 docs on O.J. not enough for me. I've seen 142 Hitler related things. Not enough. You can never go wrong. Cable out networks are like, we need another Hitler. We need another O.J.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Agreed.

[Adam Carolla]

Somebody's got to do a doc about what if Hitler met O.J. what would that look like? You know, Hitler and O.J. have lunch. Yeah, I'm in.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah, put it up.

[Adam Carolla]

Netflix. Take it.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Do it.

[Adam Carolla]

Do it.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

So I'm sitting there and now it's a series on. It's called Hitler and the Nazis.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Okay.

[Adam Carolla]

And it's now they've recolorized footage from Nuremberg trials and they have all these things. Young Hitler, young Hitler had a different mustache than older Hitler.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Right?

[Adam Carolla]

He had a sort of Kaiser mustache and then went to the Charlie Chaplin at some point. But so I'm looking at it, it's called Hitler and the Nazis. And I'm watching it and at some point I pause it to go in the kitchen or something and I come back and I unpause it and it sort of reboots and it does the warning label and it says it's Hitler and the Nazis. It says disturbing images, gore, smoking and violence. They put smoking in front of violence. So they're literally gonna have footage of Dresden and we'll see kids on fire. But somebody may be smoking a cigarette at some point and I need to buckle up for that. From 1942.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah, well, I mean, it's funny too, like how Netflix and all these places are like, you know, first of all, like when you go to like Italy, you know, and you watch like just the regular tv, there's. They'll curse. They'll show boobs, like, on, like, you know, the regular network television, but they won't show, you know, someone getting their head blown off with an AK47. Where here in the US be like, no cursing, no boobies, but let's blow everyone up and kill everyone.

[Adam Carolla]

And the notion that you would have. You have the word gore on there, like, I don't know, once. Once you've decided to be in on gore, you're not easily offended.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah, I take a little smoking.

[Adam Carolla]

Also, since everyone smoked in 1942, I would be confused if people weren't smoking. I also love that smoking beat violence.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Right.

[Adam Carolla]

Like, I needed. It was disturbing images. Gore, smoking, and then violence.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Right.

[Adam Carolla]

I feel like violence should have edged out smoking.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Smoking. Yeah. I mean, you know, these people, you know, like the people that run this shit. I mean, I really think at this point, man, everyone's just on autopilot. I don't even know. I don't even know if they're even if they're just putting it up to put it up. Nobody cares anymore.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, I'll tell you why I don't like it. And also, is there a scenario where, like, you're sitting down, how old's your daughter? Or you have a STEPSON?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

And then 14, nine and three.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, is there a scenario where you sit down with your 9 year old and you go, look, I want you to learn a history lesson. We're gonna watch Hitler and the Nazis. And then you see the warning. Come on. You're like disturbing images. Like, all right, you're almost 10. You can handle that gore. We can get ready for life, baby. Violence. Okay, you see enough of that. Ooh, smoking, sweetie. Let's see what Nickelodeon's got to offer us. Is there anyone more than smoking is a deal breaker after gore and disturbing imagery?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

It's stupid. It doesn't make sense.

[Adam Carolla]

I'll tell you why I don't like it.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't like it. Like, I didn't like end racism in the end zone of the NFL, which is. It lumps smokers in with Nazis, essentially. It literally does. Like, poor Dixon.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Poor baby doll's gotta go out and hide behind the dumpster to blow butt out there.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah. Now my Aunt Colleen's a Nazi, Right.

[Adam Carolla]

Because she's wedged in between gore and disturbing imagery. All Nazi activity and smoking. Like, it's just in the conversation.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Right, right.

[Adam Carolla]

It's like when. I don't know why, but it was Matt Damon got a ton of shit eight years ago. Cause he's like, well, let's not lump Al Franken in with Harvey Weinstein. And then he got lumped in with Harvey Weinstein. And now it's just, yeah, they're all, me too. They got me too'd, you know. But one guy was a serial rapist, and the other guy was a comedian who took sort of gag pictures on a cargo.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

It's one of those things where I think, like, again, marketing what it is. I remember speaking to the Nazis. This was, like, a couple of months ago, right before the election, when everyone is saying Trump's a Nazi and Hitler and all that stuff was going on. So I had on YouTube, we were at home, fiance was in the other room, like, doing the dishes, cooking. I don't know what she was doing, but she could hear what I was watching on. On YouTube. And what I was watching was a Hitler speech right from the 30s, but it was all in English. And they had changed. The AI had changed Germany to America. So it was full Hitler, just translated from German to English, changing Germany to America. And she comes in and she's just listening, and she goes, who the hell is that guy? And I didn't say. I was like, oh, he's pretty good, right? And. Cause, you know, she's like, you know, more liberal and whatever. And I was like, he's pretty good, right? And she was like, yeah. She was like, that's the kind of. That's the kind of voice America needs right now, right? And I was like, it's Adolf Hitler. And she was like, oh, my God. Oh, my God. You know, just like, screaming. I was like, see, there you go. You just.

[Adam Carolla]

You know, my plan was to find. I wish there were pictures of Adolf Hitler as an infant, and I could show it to girls, and they'd go, oh, look, she's so cute.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Such a cutie.

[Adam Carolla]

I bet he's gonna be an architect.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah. Or I would say, wouldn't you like your leader to be a vegetarian and love dogs? And I'd say, yes. I'd say, well, take Adolf.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Do we have. Is that such a thing? Can you find that Byron, Adolf, given his speech? And it's also. It kind of, you know, the converse to that, which is funny, is when they show footage of, like, Joe Biden or Hillary Clinton from, like, 1991 going, we don't need to be overrun with these illegal aliens coming in our cities, taking our jobs.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Filling up our schools, using our welfare system. We need a stout border where these aliens can't infiltrate. And by the way, they commit a lot of crime. Oh yeah, they don't pay taxes. You're like, who's this person talking?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah. Joe Biden's like, gay marriage is gross in like the 90s.

[Adam Carolla]

Young Adolf.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Look at Young Adolf.

[Adam Carolla]

Young and looking cute.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

That's a good. Yeah, it's a name, it's a rap album name. Young Adolf with that picture.

[Adam Carolla]

You know, it's funny because he, he stole Charlie Chaplin's mustache and Mo Howard's haircut. Right. And he took our comedy legends and basically cherry picked.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Their hair.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

That's what it is.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I mean, look at him. It's fascinating, man. That's why I love history. You know, when you, when you watch this stuff, it's like, obviously, you know, there's atrocities in history, but when people compare that to like today, I'm like, guys, do you realize how much better life is today than like even the best of the best worlds of the 1920s?

[Adam Carolla]

Oh my God. I always think with my kids who are 18 twins in their bedroom. My son had like a 65 inch TV in his bedroom. Right.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Sick.

[Adam Carolla]

I know. And I'm like, let's just talk width to depth ratio. You have a TV that's 65 inches across and about an inch and three quarters deep. I had a Zenith black and white 13 incher that was 13 across and 44 inches deep. If you just marked progress by the depth to width on TV sets, you'd see his TVs got less deep and the screen got bigger. Now there's 100 incher in the other room. That's an inch and a quarter deep and 100 inches wide. Ungoddamn thinkable. Could you imagine if you had a friend when you were a kid that had a hundred inch TV set? I would have physically moved into the guy's home 1000%. I would have showed up with a pillow and a comforter and like a rucksack over my shoulder and just said, look, I'm just going to move it.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I feel like the government would have confiscated it. Like they would be, this tv, like this has to be like, you know.

[Adam Carolla]

Elvis would have taken it 100%. The king would have showed up at your house.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Try to trade you a Cadillac or something.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

You got to just be great, you know, you got to be grateful, you know, I mean, I just feel like it's sometimes like I try to tell my kids that. To try to focus on their effort only and not the outcome, but kids are kids, man. They're just going to be like, you know, everything sucks. It's just who they are.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, I'm hoping that the. We, the we don't appreciate it Gene, which we all have as Americans, is why we're number one, right? Because nobody stopped at 55 inches and went, all right, I think we're good. Yeah, they just went, fuck it. Where's our 65 inch? The second somebody got a 55 inch TV, I mean, they literally. I grew up with a 13 inch. I mean, our family was poor. Other people had color TVs that were, you know. But at some point I got like a 19 inch color TV, right? And I was like, this is cool. But that lasted 10 minutes. I was like, I want a 24 inch. And you just kept it. Just sort of. But now I want to play Madison Square Garden, right? You know, like, it just kept growing.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

It keeps going, keeps going. But I am coming to the point now where, like, I, I think for me, like, personally, like, if I can, you know, get through Madison Square Garden, I'll feel like, okay, I did that. Big, big goal. Like, because then if, if you just keep going and going, going, then there's like no end to up. And then you just, you know, some of our peers, they're selling out arenas all over the world. They're not happy. You talk to them, they're like, they always want more and more and more. It's like, how do you get out of that? I don't know really how to. I'm going to try, but I'm wondering, how the hell do you get out of that rat race? Or is that just being an American? And that's the gift and the curse, because we're just number one by a landslide. And I'm just a red, white and blue kid.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow, that's powerful. Okay, here's what I think. I think it's like there is a way to go into the Octagon with unbridled aggression and try to kill your opponent. And then you have to hug it out when you're done and go home and kiss your kids goodnight. Like, you need that kind of flexibility in this sort of business. So a way to have that drive and that motivation. The stuff that keeps you writing new jokes, you know, the stuff that makes you wake up at four in the morning and look for a pen to write something down or what have you. And then a way to shut it off, relax, enjoy what you've just done without looking for the next larger TV set.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Got it? Yeah, but that's the balance, I guess that's just staying in the moment, staying in the present, which is just the most difficult thing to do.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. And look, thank God Elon Musk can't do that.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Right?

[Adam Carolla]

Because his thing is, every waking moment's gotta be doing something bigger and better. And so does Trump's that way. And many people are that way. My mom and my dad could just chillax all. You know, there must have been Jamaican or something. There's gotta be some Jamaican blood in those two. They were just on island time, like, the whole time. Now, no fire in the belly equals 13 inch black and white. Zenith TV.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Right?

[Adam Carolla]

You know what I mean? And no air conditioning, so you gotta have some fire. And then there's the. But then crack a beer. Enjoy yourself. Celebrate what you've accomplished.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Best of both worlds. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Balance.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

That's it. Balance. I'm trying to get. We're trying to get that balance. But, yeah, I mean, just know anyone at this point who says America is not number one? I mean, you're just an asshole. I mean, we're number one by a landslide. I mean, just look fucking around.

[Adam Carolla]

I agree. I agree with you.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I mean, just. I mean, I like to now see, like, the comedians in the comedy clubs, like, even where I am, you know, New York, who, like, shit on America, and it just bombs. I'm like, you know what, dude? I'm gonna start. I'm gonna. You should be arrested. I really start thinking, if anyone starts to disparage America on stage, I'm calling ice. That's just how I feel. But that's how I've always felt. I've always been. See, here's the thing from, you know, you look at my comedy since 2015, I've always been proud to be an American. I've always been like. My comedy's always been, like, pro America. It's not a political statement. But now it's like, people are like, ooh. Like, I did a joke at the Comedy Cell the other night just about how great the United States is, and somebody was like, ooh. All these. They go. All these comics are coming out of the woodwork now. All of a sudden, being pro Trump, I'm like, I'm not. I'm not saying I'm pro Trump or anti Trump. I just said I love the United States. And I've been saying that for 10 years.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, that reminds me, Byron, I'm looking at you. But somebody tweeted me a scene from a movie I did called the Hammer, which I did in 2009. So that would have been. I shot this film, like, 16 years ago, and somebody tweeted me this about three or four days. Oh, there it is now. All right, so this is a scene from my movie from 2009. And someone said they've been sharing it with their friends, which made me laugh. But I think you'll appreciate it. Sorry.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I mean, they look like my cousins.

[Adam Carolla]

You guys sure seem to love Nicolas Nicaragua. Except for the part where you risk your lives not to live there anymore. That's the way I feel.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm not saying Nicaragua is a piece of shit. I'm saying you came here. I didn't move to Nicaragua. Yeah, so stop if you're gonna come here. Nicaragua may not be number one.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Right.

[Adam Carolla]

That's all. And stop waving the flag.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I was. For me. For me. I've never. And again, I was born into the United States, so, like, you know, I don't know. I never had to come from another country. I'm happy being here, so I understand that part. But for me, it's always been like, you're allowed to have whatever country's flag you want outside your house, but you also need to have an American flag. Like, I've always just felt that way from the beginning, I guess, maybe because being New York 9 11, I was like, you know how much like patriotic pride. But I've always been like, why is. Why are people allowed to just have another. You couldn't do that in another country. You go to these other countries and all you like. I just went to Italy. All you see is Italian flags. I was in Florence, I'm telling you. Did you walk down the street in Florence? Every business has an Italian flag and a statue of some uncircumcised stone cock from 1500s. Those are the two things about Florence that I've recognized.

[Adam Carolla]

Big. Well, I will. I will say this something I've always been on, because I'm from Los Angeles. And so my. If you want to call it xenophobic, you may. But what I've basically said is if you take enough people from enough places or from certain places and you put them here, they'll just set up camp and they'll just replicate what they know. The same way that if you moved me somewhere, eventually I'd start hanging around with English speaking people and we'd be watching the NFL on Sundays and you'd be talking about getting a decent slice around here. You know, no matter where we were, you could be in Nicaragua.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

You would find the Nazi documentary lovers.

[Adam Carolla]

Of the Czech Republic come together. Right? So I basically said, look, there's nothing wrong. So I'm from Los Angeles and I've been here my whole life. There's nothing wrong with people coming here from Mexico, but they have to assimilate, learn the language, learn the ways. They can have pride and they can watch soccer, but they need to assimilate, assimilate. Because if not, they just come here in large groups and they don't assimilate, then you're just gonna have Tijuana here, right? It can go no other way. And so there used to be the notion in Los Angeles of street vendors was unheard of. There was no such thing as selling shit on the street. You could have a lawn sale like once in a while, sell an old futon or Burt Bach record, but there was no food being sold on the street. So when I went to Tijuana when I was like in high school, because you just go there, you can go to the strip clubs and drink and have fun for free. It's a judgment free environment over there. And they don't even know what a fucking ID is over there. You just walk into wherever you want to walk into. But the first thing that jumped out at you when you went to Tijuana is all street vest, huddle up, it's me, Angel Reese.

[Angel Reese]

You can't beat the post game burger and fries, right? Know what else you can't beat? The Angel Reese special. Let's break it down. My favorite barbecue sauce, American cheese, crispy bacon, pickles, onions and a sesame seed bun, of course. And don't forget the fries and the drink. It's gonna be a high C for me.

[Adam Carolla]

Sound good?

[Angel Reese]

All you have to do to get it is beat me in a one on one. I'm just playing get the Angel Reef Special at McDonald's now. Ba da ba ba ba.

[Adam Carolla]

I participate in restaurants for a limited time. It was just people selling tacos on the street. Marionettes, little 3 year old kids selling chiclets everywhere. You know, you just like everyone's selling shit on the street and you're from a metropolitan city. So it was like, where's the license? Where's the food inspector? Where's the health guy? You're just selling street tacos, you know. Okay, that was, you know, 1982, right? Now, la, right? All fucking street vendors all just selling ghetto dogs, beer, you know, tequila shots, roses by the mortuary. It's just all street vendors. Okay, that didn't. Okay, so how did that happen? Well, a whole bunch of people from that place that did all that stuff just came here and we told them, do not worry about assimilating cuz that would have been racist. You do your own thing. And they went, well here's what we do. We take coolers and we fill them with Ducatis and we go down to Sofi and we sell them for cash right in front of the stadium. And then we cook dogs with bacon and wrapped around it and we put mayonnaise on it and that's what we do. And we went, okay, well that's what we have. So then you have to say to yourself, well what do you like? Do you like Tijuana? Or do you like what we had in Los Angeles in 1961? You know what I mean? And people would go, well I don't think people should be selling food without it being a health inspector or whatever. Some pay taxes or regulatory system or whatever. So. But we have it now. So I don't know if that makes me racist or xenophobic. But LA has turned into Mexico, right? And the whole point is they left Mexico cuz Mexico wasn't good, but now Mexico is here.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah, it's interesting. I never thought about it that way because you're right. If it went the other way, well.

[Adam Carolla]

Look at Europe with Muslim, right? They wish they had Mexicans over there. They get a decent street dog and not be blown up. Yeah, yeah, yeah, at a concert.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

It's true. Do you think that obviously the benefit that we have living in the United States is we are separated by, I mean, the big oceans or else we would have those problems too. But that is just geography, baby. I mean we are just, we got placed right here with these two beautiful oceans on either side. And it's very tough to get to infiltrate in here. But I think that's why. Do you think that's a part of why maybe Trump is like wants to have take Canada, why he's coming down on Mexico cuz he doesn't want like quote unquote, America's enemies to start staging in those places. Because.

[Adam Carolla]

There'S always a method to his madness. Although people naively just think he's an insane person, but he's kind of crazy like a fox, you know, so he's always sort of underestimated. I never really. What I don't get is he's an insanely pragmatic guy, you know, he's like, well we should just take over Gaza and turn it into the Riviera. And then everyone's like, oh my God, you can't do that. And it's like as opposed to what? Like, as opposed to what?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Another thousand years of war.

[Adam Carolla]

I wrote in a book of mine, years and years and years ago, I just went, all of Israel should just pick up and move to Baja California. It's desert, it's by the ocean, it's beautiful. And Mexico could use some juice. Yes, they need Jews desperately.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

I ironically said they could use some bean counters over there. Cuz ironically they don't have any. Yeah, they got a lot of beans, just not a lot of counters.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

And the Jewish culture, all Israel is, is desert with the ocean. I've been to Tijuana. Sorry, been to Tijuana, but I've been to Baja a million times. It's glorious. It's beautiful rugged desert and then beautiful ocean.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

So move Israel there and there's nobody there, right?

[Adam Carolla]

Go there. You're surrounded by homicidal genocidal maniacs that once you erased from the globe. That's all it is.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Just leave.

[Adam Carolla]

Just fucking leave and go there. And everyone goes. Whenever you say anything, they go, okay, all right. You can't, it's like, I don't know why, why can't, why can't you turn Gaza into the French Riviera? Like why not? Or what? What's the alternative?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Well, that's, what's it? Well, Trump, Trump is the guy. To me, it's like I really believe that he probably doesn't want never ending war because that he's a businessman. He wants to put a Trump casino in a place. You can't put a casino in a, in a war tornado country.

[Adam Carolla]

But it's a strange thing with the progressives. And I know it, cause I grew up, my mom was very progressive, my grandmother's very progressive. And Margaret Cho was in here the other day, who I like, and she's progressive. And she started waxing on about trans rights and trans this and trans that. And I just said, well look, look, if you want to cut your junk off and live your life as a woman, or add some junk, or do whatever you want, dress, put a skirt on, I don't care, do whatever you want. But if you just. In California, if you just say you're a woman, you could just go into the Wii Spa in Los Angeles, just say you're a woman. And then they'd escort you right into the ladies locker room. And it happened at the ywca. There's a, like just some dude just go, hey, I'm a woman and it's California. Okay, go ahead and use the ladies room. Then there's a 16 year old girl, steps out of the Shower. I said, we can't have that. What do we do about that? And she's just like, I don't know about that, but I know that people deserve to live their best life and their hearts and stuff like that. And I realized that side has no answers. All they have is feelings.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

That's it.

[Adam Carolla]

But they have no answer. So what I'm saying is like, like ladies of the squad who call Trump insane for talking about taking over Gaza and turning it into something other. Fine, he's insane. What is your plan for Gaza? I know it's a two state solution where everyone lives in harmony. Except for that's not ever gonna happen.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Right? Yeah. And for me it's like with the trans stuff is like, I understand there's problems. Everyone individually has issues and I get that. But overall they are. Yes. You know, you're not allowed to go into a, you know, just say you're a woman and go into a woman's bathroom. Cause like you said, a 16 year old girl could be in there. And this is, we can't prevent this stuff. But it's like, you're not being killed or murdered in the street. You have the rights. You do have, right? You have the rights that we all have. It's the. So when people, when the progressives say that, I'm like, what, what don't they have a bathroom? Like, what are you talking about?

[Adam Carolla]

I never, I don't understand.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

You could do whatever the fuck you want to do here.

[Adam Carolla]

I didn't even get the plus community where they go, well, there's the LGBT blt, but the plus. And then there's this community and it's like, listen, I don't know why we need all the options. You could be a woman who became a man and then I would just call you sir. Or you could be a man who becomes a woman, I would just call you ma'am and that'll be it. But why either way, why do we need a third?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah, and it's also like, show me someone who like isn't trying to financially gain from making those statements. Like when you watch, it's always that. It's like, what would be the incentive, say for CNN to end racism? Or like what? They would make no money. So they have to pick these, they have to cherry pick the issues and make this a way bigger deal than it actually is or else their business goes away.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, listen, you are too young a comedian, but there used to be a very common joke with black comedians, which is if we ever had a black president they would do the assassination joke. But the general refrain was the day we have a black president is the day we've ended racism in this country. And that's what everyone said, would always say comedian or not. Just anybody speaking would go. If this country saw fit to elect a black president, then no, you couldn't call it racist anymore. And obviously we had a black president for two terms.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Sure.

[Adam Carolla]

And all the race hustlers, if you noticed, including Obama, who is a race hustler, realized that the end of the grift was near because we elected a black president. So they all doubled down their efforts. Al Sharpton, cnn. All the typical race hustlers went harder on race. So that comically, if you look at this country, you look at polling like black white relations. You know, we took a poll, we asked black people and white people how they thought relationship relations were between the communities. It was much higher in the good department. Before we had a black president, then we got a black president. And then all the hustlers went, okay, our fucking work is cut out for us. We're gonna have to find race. If there's a black NASCAR driver and someone has a poll for the garage door, make sure it's in noose, make everything about race and let's get the hustle back on. Because we don't have it anymore. We just elected a black president. And so they hit it harder, Obama hit it harder. And then if you look at the polls after Obama, race relations got much worse after two term black president.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah, so that's what I mean, like it doesn't, everyone's, they're financially benefiting themselves. Like even with like the DEI. I understand the DEI needed to happen in the 60s and 70s and 80s, I get it, but that was never supposed to be a forever program. I'm sure you have, you know, black friends that would say the same as my black friends. Like I have a friend and he was like that, he was so black guy, he was happy that DEI was, you know, in some ways maybe even symbolically coming to an end. Cuz he was like, anytime I got a job or a friend of mine got a job, we always were wondering like, did I just get this job cuz I was black? He was like, so that didn't help me at all mentally.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, not only did you get the job, he had to think about it for himself. But as I've said, the 19 year old black kid walking across the quad at Harvard, everyone's looking at him going, is he here? Because his SAT scores were through. The roof or some Asian guy at a community college right now who got a higher SAT score.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

So that's not going to work for the society level.

[Adam Carolla]

It's unfair to them.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

It's unfair. So that's why I think as here's the thing, like you know, people I know it's like the same and I only can speak. The only thing I'm a quote expert at is standup comedy. It's what I do every day. And I'm just seeing it on the ground floor, like at the comedy clubs in New York. Like now the bits about like, and this is not pro or against Trump, it's just what the people are feeling. Like the bits about anti Trump, they're just kind of hacky now. It's kind of like the audience doesn't give a shit anymore. The things that it's like really working are comedy about like just common sense stuff that's really just like whatever. Kind of like saying what the middle has thought forever. And so I think, I think like things are shifting in a way. I mean, dude, I just, I remember, you know, remember 10 years ago, like if you were 18, 19 years old, you were hardcore to the left. That's like what was cool. College kids, cool, you know, you would go do a college show, don't offend anyone, blah, blah, blah. I have a 17 year old nephew and I asked him in late September, I said, who you gonna vote for? I said, are you gonna vote? Which way you gonna go? And he's like, he's like, I don't know. Cause he was gonna turn 18 and by the time the votes came out and I said, I said. He said, I don't know. I said, well, who do you like? He's like, well, I mean I can't vote for Biden and Democrats because that's just gay. And I was like, really?

[Adam Carolla]

Wow.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I was like, that's what you think? And he was like, that's what my friends think.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

He goes like, the Dems are just kind of gay.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

And it's kind of like weak. And I was like, interesting. I was like, cause you know, when I was growing up it was just the opposite. And then I was talking to him about it, he was like, yeah, it was like, I, you know, our feeling is because the Republicans like America and the Democrats don't. And so whether that's real or not is irrelevant. The perception of the youth was that the Democrats are anti America and kind of gay and the Republicans are pro America and more strong. And that's just what it was, you know, the perception of it. It's not. People wanna talk all about the reality. It's like, who cares about the reality? It doesn't matter. Like, people would be like, oh, Obama, you know, sent more people over the wall, kick more migrants out than Trump. Maybe that's true. But at the time, no one was talking about it, so no one felt that the perception was that that wasn't happening. The reality is like. It's so irrelevant what the reality is. It's just the perception. And so that's what I think happened now. It's like the perception was, this is the way it is. And I'm more and more being like, does the reality actually matter? Who cares what's real? What's perceived to be real is what's real. That's how I think.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. You know, it's funny. It always jumps in my head, but Baby doll Dixon, there it is, the human cigarette. When I was doing. When I took over for Stern on the west coast some years ago, and I was on, the flagship station was Kayla Sex out here in Los Angeles. And the radio show I did was number one in Seattle, number one in Vegas, which I always told everyone, I go, you know what the number one. You know what the smartest city in America is? And they'd go, I don't know. I'd go, seattle. Which it was. I go, you know what the dumbest city in America is? I go, no, I go, vegas. Which it was. I go, I'm number one in both, right? So fuck off, right? And I was. And I was pretty much number one everywhere, but not in Los Angeles. I couldn't. I was coming number five or something in Los Angeles. And I said, you know, and it was like, you know, they had these meters and time spent listening and diaries and Arbitron diaries and shit. People take a golf pencil and write in who they listen to every day. It was all nuts, right? Not exact science. But we were getting beat up. I was getting beat up. Cause I wasn't number one in Los Angeles. And. And Dixon was like, baby, baby, Kayla sex. I want to know why they're not getting the ratings in Los Angeles. And I took over for Stern. And he said, the time spent listening, it's like 38 minutes. And he said, you know, let me tell you about Stern. The average Stern listener, the one who enjoyed Stern, listened for two hours and ten minutes a day. The people who hated Stern listened for three hours a day. I said, baby, that's from the movie that didn't happen. And he goes, what do you mean it's in a movie? It's not that. If you don't like Stern, you don't listen to Stern all day, right? And he goes, that's what that is. And I said, no, no, it's from the movie. It's not what happened. But then I realized, that's the perception. That's what he thinks. That's what he saw in the movie. So it's totally counterintuitive to go, so the people that hate Stern listen to him more than the people that love Stern. But it was in the movie. That's where he got it. Now it's reality, and now I'm having to do battle with it.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yep.

[Adam Carolla]

That's what you're talking about.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

That's what it is. I mean. I mean, I used to go. I used to, like, if my tickets weren't selling, I was always, oh, oh. Like, I'm an elephant in the room guy. I would just go on the radio and be like, I'm not selling, and make fun of it all. And it would get, like, in the room. And then my agent was like, you know, he's great. He was like, look, the reason why that doesn't work is because it's fine that you want to make fun of yourself. That's great. Do that on stage for the performance if the show truly isn't sold out. He goes, but then the perception is, when these people hear it is like, oh, you don't sell tickets, or I don't have to buy right now. He was like, always, always, always. Just say that you're selling more. Because it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter what the actual number is. If the perception is, is this guy sells quick, they're gonna need to buy right now. And that's just what it is. He was like, there's a little bit of lying that has to happen to be good in show business. There just is.

[Adam Carolla]

That's your trump.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Sorry. You know?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, he did it to me when I did the marriage ref with him. He just. We're just backstage and just slapped me on the back. And this episode's gonna be number one. Yeah. And I was like, why?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

He's like, cause it's gonna be number one. You check, you see? And I realized, oh, he just did that to the country.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

I've told story, but I felt good, like, momentarily, like, we're gonna be number one. Why can't we be number one? We should be number 100%.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah. That's what I'm like, even, like, I know, you know, I don't know any of the history of it, but I was like, let's fucking take Greenland. I want Greenland.

[Adam Carolla]

I want Greenland.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I don't want. I was like, dude, put Israel in Greenland.

[Adam Carolla]

You know, send, send Israel to the Gulf of America. That's what I'm saying.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

That's what it is.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, let's take a quick break. Take a whiz. We'll bring Mayhem Miller in here. We'll do some news. Chris will hang out a little bit more with us, and we'll do that right after this. Hey, it's almost Valentine's Day, people. Let's give her one she's not gonna forget. That's right. Take advantage of this brand new deal from Adam and Eve. AdamandEve.com Ace is where you go. That's AdamandEve.com Ace this is absolutely the best deal we have ever offered and you deserve the best Valentine's Day ever. This is a limited time offer, so get your four sex toys while supplies last. Four toys for 20 bucks, literally saving up to 175 bucks with this exclusive offer. Have a fun and rowdy Valentine's Day this year with our good friends at Adam and Eve. Right, Dawson?

[Chris DiStefano]

Take a [e-mail] ace to see what four sex toys will be yours for just $20. Go to AdamandEve.com ace it's the only way to get this offer.

[Adam Carolla]

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[Jason Mayhem Miller]

My father's the kind of guy, like, he thought I was gay when I was a little kid because I like blueberries. So I could only imagine what would have happened to him if we would have went to the peak and I asked for a plain slice of cheese. If this man is questioning if I'm a homosexual because I wanted some antioxidants, I could only imagine. I mean, plain slice of cheese. He would have just been like, what? Do you also want a bukake of coc. Oh, my God.

[Chris DiStefano]

Chris DiStefano is on the Adam Carolla show.

[Adam Carolla]

What do you like on a slice of pizza? What's the best?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

That joke was coming from. I was just in New York, and there was a guy in front of me, like, all these out of towners, like, if you go into a pizzeria, like a New York pizzeria, and you say, can I have a plain slice with cheese? No, I mean, nobody. We're like, what? Go home? You have to say, it's just a regular. I just want a regular or a Sicilian. I'm not a toppings guy. I understand different. You know, we're in L. A here. It's different thing, but it's like, you're not ordering a Hawaiian pizza from a New York City pizzeria guy. Most of them won't do it. I've seen pizza guys be like, I'm not. No, I'm not.

[Burt Ward]

Now, where do you come down on pepperoni?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Pepperoni. I'll do pepperoni. I'll do. I like pepperoni. I have pepperoni nipples, so I like doing that. But for me, pizza, it's just. I'm just regular pie.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm with you.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

That's how I do it.

[Adam Carolla]

I like sausage and onion, but regular's fine. I put garlic powder on it, which I love, which is an east coast thing. And it didn't make it here. You go to the pizzeria on the East Coast. They had Some peppers, they got some cheese sometimes, but they have garlic powder. Not garlic salt, garlic powder. And you can just douse it with garlic powder.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Amazing. Or in New York, the Puerto Ricans have adobo. You know, my fiance, my family's Puerto Rican. So like I, you know, we put adobo on pizza and that gets wild.

[Adam Carolla]

What's adobo?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

It's like a, it's like a Puerto Rican spice. It's kind of like garlic powder, but it's just, I don't know, it's fucking adobo. It's Puerto Rican garlic powder.

[Adam Carolla]

Did your wife take offense to the Puerto Rican Trump garbage, you know, joke from the rally?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Not at all. I literally single, I watch, watched my own family over the course of the last eight years go from Democrat to Republican. Just I just watched it slowly happen because of the Dems just did it to themselves. I mean you had like I just my family, case in point, Puerto Rican people all voted for Obama, did not like Donald Trump the first time, voted for Hillary. Latinos buying into, you know, racism and all that. And then just as time went on they were like wait a minute, what? And then even with, and the Puerto Rican garbage thing, I bring that up to say cuz that for my family, my girl that was when she heard that she was like that to me is the same reason is the same grabber by the pussy thing. She was like that's the same thing. And now I hate these people. She's like, I can't stand the left. That doesn't bother me.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, here's an interesting thought experiment that we can all engage in which is I too have seen folks drift from the left to the right. I can't think in the last eight years. I cannot think of an example of anyone drifting from the right to the left in the last eight years. Not that it hasn't happened, just no one in my orbit I've seen women especially who are like hard all in Covid at the beginning drifting toward the right.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Well the woman, the woman thing, it's to me it's like that is like, it's. That is the women in sports thing that, that to me is like that's a pre and post. It's like BC ad. Every woman that I know who went from left to right, it that's where they said now I'm out. Because especially like you know, people with daughters, they were like no, no, this is now now you've lost me now I'm not voting for you.

[Adam Carolla]

I know it wasn't capital Gains taxes. It wasn't the corporate rate. They didn't give a shit about any of it. But the second they saw some dude whooping up on a chick in a swimming pool, they're like, now I'm out.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, Mayhem, what do you got?

[Burt Ward]

Well, first up, this just. In an emboldened controversial statement, Colombia President Gustav Petro argued that cocaine should be treated no worse than whiskey and should be sold like wine.

[Adam Carolla]

Mmm.

[Burt Ward]

Yeah. The remarks made by a recent international summit on drug policy have drawn widespread reactions from world leaders, health experts, and the public. And now you guys.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, you know, cocaine, when it's not stepped on with a bunch of Fentanyl and a bunch of other shit, just in its kind of pure form.

[Burt Ward]

Pretty mellow.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Well, first off, if anyone's ever done good cocaine, you get it, right? Like, you get. Oh, this is why people love it. Fucking cocaine.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I mean, look, Sigmund Freud wouldn't have had his genius without it.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. And also, I gotta talk to Dr. Drew about it. I will. During cuddle time later on tonight on the sofa when we're watching Hitler. Docs love it. But, you know, he said to me in the past that, like, for instance, heroin doesn't really hurt your body, but people hurt themselves injecting heroin.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Got it.

[Adam Carolla]

And that's. And they overdose and stuff. But heroin is better on your body than booze is. You know, booze is bad for your body. Heroin is not as bad for your body. And cocaine may be some of that. So, you know, like, if you just said, look, we're gonna conduct an experiment. Couple of cocktails at night versus a couple of rails, I'd say in the morning. You know what I mean? Let's switch the time zone. Cause we got a lot to do, and we don't want to stay up all night. But of, like, pure coke, you know, like pharmaceutical grade, what have you, at the end of 10 years, the guy just did the coke would probably be in better shape than the booze guy. And if we gave him, like, a Scrabble game to say, you know, played a game of Scrabble with him, or gave him a crossword puzzle or tried to play him in checkers, I bet the coke guy would fare better than the booze guy.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah. And with the coke, I feel like with the coke, you kind of see it coming. Like, you could see the progressions where with alcohol, you're just drinking, having fun, and then one day it just shuts off. You just gain £400, you lose your Hair, you're divorced, the whole life's over.

[Adam Carolla]

Because alcohol, alcoholics figured it out, which is they figured out that there's different drinks for different times of the day and even different days. So you can, you want to drink at 10 in the morning on Sundays, you can have a mimosa judgment free. You know what I mean? If you need to drink on Saturday in the morning, you have a bloody Mary, right? You know what I mean? You can have a couple of beers. As long as there's a game on, like playing somewhere, you can turn your back to the game, but just start chugging beers. You can drink beer. So there's toasts, you know, there's celebrations. There's every different kind of boat. Booze, cocaine. There's no morning cocaine or no Tuesday cocaine. There's always a judgment, right? There's always judgment with cocaine. But booze, as long as you're doing the right booze at the right time, right, you can get away with it.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah, yeah. You know, I've never done coke. I. But I just wonder if I should at this point. Especially if I can get. If I know it's pure and clean, why not just give it a taste?

[Adam Carolla]

I'm telling you, I had a friend who worked on the TV show Miami Vice and he brought good Miami coke back from Miami. When he came back to LA and he gave it to me and I was like, oh, this is what people are talking about. I've never felt better in my life.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

You just feel good. I've never done it.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, it's the best. You know what, you're in a bracket now where you could start.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah, yeah, you could be.

[Adam Carolla]

Because I've said to everyone, coke used to be 120 bucks a gram and I made nine bucks an hour. Right now I'm rich and Coke is 40 bucks a gram. I could definitely afford it. It's not a barrier to entry anymore.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Maybe after the show, let's do some coke. Me, you and Dr. Drew.

[Burt Ward]

Health experts raised concerns warning that a move to legalize and commercialize cocaine could lead to increased addiction rates, health crises and social issues. Alcohol is already significant public health challeng and adding cocaine to the mix would create a global disaster. On the other side, there's people with decriminalization would dissolve the crime networks that.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, the thing about the syndicates and the thing about like when they talk about the groups, the organized crime in Mexico, here, wherever, wherever it is in the part of the world world they are so the cartels, they're like the most fluid people in the world. You know what I mean? They go, we're selling pot. And then we go, pot's legal now. And they go, human trafficking. It is.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

They just go right to human trafficking.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Right.

[Adam Carolla]

And no one ever goes, boss, we don't have a lot of experience. Well, get experience. Let's go.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

And they just start selling humans. You could. You could. You could outlaw Havarti cheese tomorrow, and it start coming in from Mexico three days later. That's how they do it. It doesn't really matter who it is or what. They'll do pot until you legalize pot, and then they'll do coke until you legalize coke. And then it's back to human trafficking. Let's say just make their money doing everything.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

So you're saying if you want to stop human trafficking, don't legalize coke.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm saying every time you go, what we're gonna do is we're gonna decriminalize this and we're gonna defund the cartels. Cause this is how they make their money. And it's like, no, no. They make their money any way you can think of. Because what you have to do is decriminalize everything, and then you can. Teenage prostitution. Fine. No problemo. But they find the one thing that's still decriminalized or still criminalize that we want, and they go, right there.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Got it.

[Adam Carolla]

That's exactly. I'm surprised they're not doing lawn darts smuggled in from Tijuana.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

They might.

[Adam Carolla]

They probably could. Sticking to New Year's resolutions can be overwhelming. That's why it's best to set easy attainable goals. Start with staying hydrated with Brita. The Brita Elite filter makes tap water taste great. And safer to drink too. Britta Elite removes 99% of lead from your water and reduces other contaminants so you'll actually want to drink. Raise a glass of water to your 2025 hydration goals. Pick up a Brita pitcher with elite filter today. 99% of lead certified by WQA. Substances reduced may not be in all users water.

[Angel Reese]

Huddle up. It's me, Angel Reese. You can't beat the post game burger and fries, right? Know what else you can't beat? The Angel Reese special. Let's break it down. My favorite barbecue sauce, American cheese, crispy bacon, pickles, onions, and a sesame seed bun, of course. And don't forget the fries and a drink. It's gonna be a high C for me.

[Adam Carolla]

Sound good?

[Angel Reese]

All you have to do to get it is. Beat me in a one on one. I'm just playing get the Angel REEF Special at McDonald's now.

[Adam Carolla]

I participate in restaurants for a limited time.

[Burt Ward]

All right, well, here's a fun one. I haven't seen the video yet, but a viral video shows Alaska Airlines flight attendant punching, screaming man who attacked a female behind passenger. I think let's just jump right into it.

[Adam Carolla]

Not the last.

[Burt Ward]

I'll just say that that's proper hammer fist.

[Adam Carolla]

Hammer fist.

[Burt Ward]

That's a proper technique right there.

[Adam Carolla]

Elbowing or is he hammering?

[Burt Ward]

I believe there was an elbow in there. Reverse elbow. But you don't want to throw it.

[Adam Carolla]

That 12 to 6, you know, guy's middle age.

[Burt Ward]

Yeah, middle age. Kind of a beefy flight attendant. Oh, this guy is having a connection. Yeah, a violent episode apparently. But the hammer fist released the grip.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

What was that guy doing? He was hitting a woman.

[Burt Ward]

He was grabbing, he was holding onto her. Apparently he was having sort of a. I guess they call it like a mental breakdown or some type of a violent medical episode is what they call it. And he just was holding on to this lady and the flight attendant came over and gave a little randy couture ground and bound hammer fisting the guy free and open.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I was on a flight once and I'm just so happy that I was there to like witness this. So I was on a flight and it was like, you know, we were sitting in. It was a smaller plane, but it was like, you know, the first three rows. And the flight attendant was really like, nice lady, like she made her mid-50s, very, very nice, being so sweet. And this guy who was sitting across was just like a dick. He was being a dick. Like you could just tell he was just annoyed by everything or whatever. So we're about, you know, we're landing and she is going to give the people their coats back. You know, sometimes people wear like dress, you know, blazers or whatever, and they hang them up for them. She's going to give it back. And he gives it back to him very like nicely. And he goes, there's a crease in this. He goes, there's a crease in this. And then she was like, I'm sorry, sir, like, you know, whatever. She said, like so, so professional decreasing this. And then she sits in her jump seat, right? You know, like. Like we are like maybe 5,000ft still, but like we're gonna land in like eight minutes. So she's in her jump seat and this guy, this guy is like yelling at her like, you crease my jacket. Who's gonna pay for this. Is this on American Airlines? And I was just perfect thing. I'm so grateful I saw this. This lady took the jump. The worker, she took out a jump seat and she said, this is my last day on the job. I've been working this down for 25 years. She goes, I swear to God, sir, I will break your arm. So shut the up in front of office. She goes, shut the fuck up and sit there and I will give you the information on who to complain to when we land. Do not move. And then set that. And I. Dude, I. It was like a scene for a movie the entire dose. Three Rose started clapping. Wow. Started clapping for. And then. And then people started letting this guy have it. Like you felt you're an asshole. And then he didn't even take the information. He just got his coat and walked off the plane quick. And I was like, good shit.

[Burt Ward]

Was that a flight to New York?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

It was good. No, it was a small. Where were we going? I think we're going from New York to Minneapolis.

[Burt Ward]

Ah, Minneapolis. Famous for saying fuck you.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, dude, can you imagine? I was just watching that Kevin Costner Horizon movie part two, where they in the wagon train.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Could you imagine explaining to one of those people you got a crease in your code to travel 1400 miles. But yeah, I got a fucking steam this thing out. And their kids died along the way. Stabbed by Indians.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Scum heads.

[Adam Carolla]

You know, that was my plan. My plan was I said all airports should have a guy dressed as one of the Donner party walk around the airport. And like when someone, you know, when they do the flight delay, it's going to be about a 40 minute flight delay. And the person's like, oh, Jesus Christ, what else could go wrong? What else could go. The don't Donnie Donner party guy be like, we had to eat our guide.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

And we're on that GodForSaken Mountain for four months, I watched my daughter die in my arms. So you're gonna take another, what, 22 minutes to get to Baltimore. Suck it up with the crease in the coat. Why don't you head on over to the Chili's over there?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Drop my name, they'll give you a light beer. Yeah, how about that? How about that? Watch a little Lakers game. How about that?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Cause we died on that mountain.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

He's an honor party guy. They have the person that plays the piano to like relax. Everybody sure have diner party guy.

[Burt Ward]

Tanner clothes the other direction. He like looks off into the distance and Goes, it's gonna be a long winter.

[Adam Carolla]

It'll be a long winter. He's got a human femur bone in his hand, some meat on it. This is my wife. This is my wife. You want a taste? Go to the Chili's, chill out. Yeah, yeah.

[Burt Ward]

Diner pie, barbecue sauce. President Trump eliminates pennies and brings back. Back plastic straws.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh.

[Burt Ward]

Tackling a ridiculous.

[Adam Carolla]

When's the last time you dealt with a penny?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

A penny or even a nickel?

[Adam Carolla]

Like, I'll keep going like it's a quarter.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I didn't even have change. Yeah.

[Burt Ward]

I mean, I'm not that rich, but I go, like, just walk away from the change. Like, what am I going to do with it? If, you know, if I'm in the car, then it goes somewhere.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I always put it. If I'm like at a coffee shop, it just goes in tip down. But you always give them a dollar.

[Burt Ward]

But I would just walk off from the. If it's a dol. I just go, yeah, like, you know, quiet.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

You know. What's one thing I asked, though? You. When you, you know, like, when you do, like, the tips, like, you know, like, for things that don't need to be tipped. When it's on the screen now, everyone does like 10%. You know, a lot of times the servers, they don't.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Burt Ward]

Don't even get it.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

They don't get it. The restaurant gets it. So that I don't do that anymore. And now I just give cash.

[Burt Ward]

Direct.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Direct. If I don't have cash, I say, I'm sorry. I'll even take a little moment and say, what's your Venmo? And given that, because I did not realize they are not getting that tip. A lot of the times, really, the.

[Adam Carolla]

Restaurant, I always just thought it went to them.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

No, you're just giving the money more restaurant. You're giving the restaurant more money.

[Adam Carolla]

I got a theory. I haven't seen a penny in a long time. Like, pennies are out of circulation. But now every time I turn on the tv, I see one of these Tommy Copper commercials with the Copper Fit elbow band and the Copper Fit. You think they're taking those pennies? I'm just saying, I have not seen pennies, but I've seen 1,000 copper infused braces. Now I think they're funneling that money into Tommy Copper. I think Brett Favre is in on this. Well, if you looked at a calendar, the day I stopped seeing pennies is the day I started seeing Copper Fit commercials on.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

This makes sense to me.

[Adam Carolla]

It makes sense. To me, I'm just saying.

[Burt Ward]

Yeah, well, then the next target is, like, you said, the nickel. And the interesting part about that is that nickels cost between, like, 7 and 13 cents to manufacture. To manufacture. So there's a weird disconnect there that. Now, where do you stop? You stop at quarters.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

But you know what, though? At least in the United States, it's just the change. It's just, like, 25 cents and under is the change. In Europe, like, a dollar is a coin. And I'm like, I don't want. Yeah, I want to live like that. I don't want to live like that at all. Paper money or it's out.

[Adam Carolla]

I'll tell you, the only advantage or. And. Or use for coins anymore and we got screwed with it, is kids think money's invisible, and so everything's like, Apple pay for them. So I've realized as I traveled through life, as money has gotten invisible, the person that earns all the money gets zero credit because it's just invisible now. And so everything's just on an automatic pay. Apple pay. Whatever. Pay. I got the Venmo. I got this app, I got that app. I got the grocery app, I got the whatever app, and I got the Amazon thing. And I'm walking around busting my ass, paying for everything, and everyone's looking at me like, hey, fat ass, you're blocking the TV shed. You know, we can't. And I realized, because then my daughter said to me, literally, she was complaining about not this and not that. I go, I bought you. I lease you a Mercedes Benz. And she goes, mom took me to get it. No credit. Yeah, because she doesn't have a job. What do you mean? She's getting the credit for driving you four miles to Glendale. I'm like. Because that's when I realized what I do, which is pay is invisible.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Right.

[Adam Carolla]

What mom did is at least tangible. She drove her.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I. I saw a stat the other day that said something about, like, it was about clothes. Like, the amount of outfits a person who's, like, just at the poverty line has is the same as, like, what a king and queen used to have. Like, back in the day. Like, you would only have 10 outfits. Like, even the wealthiest of the wealthy, they would not have this idea of, like, you're wearing all these different clothes all the time. And then it was this other stat about how many things even a person at the poverty line is paying for is the same as, like, what a king and queen would be paying for. It's not the same percentage of the income. But it's like, like Adam was saying you right now, because money's invisible. You might be paying for 50 different things because of subscriptions and. And this and that. Where, like, that was unheard of. Where when you used to have to, like, write out your bills, you are not going to pay for as many things as the apple subscriptions and the invisible money now. So we are spending so much more of our money and we are so bogged down with clutter, most people, that it has a humongous impact on our psyche that again, kings, and even us, the homes that we buy, like, you want to buy a 10,000 square foot home. It's like back in the day, only, like, lords would have that and they would have a full staff to take care of the square footage of that house. So it's just like we're living this world. We're living in this idea where it's like, yeah, older people used to do that the last generation, but they had servants. They didn't. They didn't have, you know, that there was. It was about happiness.

[Burt Ward]

Like, well, now we have delivery drivers.

[Adam Carolla]

Exactly.

[Burt Ward]

And guys who walk straight up and hand you your coffee right at your door.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Right. But it increases your happiness. All of it.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, all of it. But so if my kids understood change.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

In dollar bills and paying the grubhub guy with quarters and dol that daddy brought home, there'd be an entire different perspective on money versus the phone thing where the chick just swipes it and we're going home.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

That's a good point.

[Adam Carolla]

All right. Burt Ward, you know him as Robin from Batman, is waiting in Zoom town for us. I'll give Chris a plug. The Hulu Special, it's out February 21st. Right on Hulu. Where'd you shoot it, by the way?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I shot it in Tarrytown, N.Y. westchester.

[Adam Carolla]

It looks amazing.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Thank you.

[Adam Carolla]

The trailer's up now.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Trailer's up now. It's one comic a month. Hulu picked one comic a month. And I'm blessed that they gave me.

[Adam Carolla]

Black History month live shows. And if you go to ChrisDComedy.com, that's where all the dates are.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

All the dates are the big one. September 11, 2025, Madison Square Garden. That's the big one.

[Adam Carolla]

Always good to see you, my friend.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Thank you, brother.

[Adam Carolla]

We'll take a quick break. Back with Burt Ward right after this hydro. I love my hydro. It's good because you can get that full body workout in about 20 minutes. You know, you want to hit the gym there's always the plan to hit the gym, but something gets in the way, some timing thing. Plus it's pretty big commitment. My hydro is this in my living room. If they'd let me back in my concho, I would jump on it because I miss it right now. It's easy and it's fast and like I said, 20 minutes. I mean you got a half hour show you like to watch. Record it, fast forward through the commercials. That's as much as you need to work out with your hydro. It's a rower. There's nothing more to debate. You just hop on and you row and it's over and you get a full body workout. A killer full body workout. It hits 86% of your muscles and like I said, only 20 minutes a day to better health. Whether you're training for a marathon or just trying to stay in shape, hydro meets you where you're at. It also looks good too. Am I right, Dawson?

[Chris DiStefano]

Kick off the new year with a full body workout, all from the comfort of home with hydro. Head over to hydro.com and use code ADAM to save up to $475 off your Hydro Pro roll. That's H Y-R-O-W.com code ADAM to save up to four hundred and seventy five dollars. Hydro.com code ADAM oh oh oh.

[Adam Carolla]

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[Chris DiStefano]

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[Adam Carolla]

Pluto TV is the place for movie.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Fans like me and TV fans like me.

[Adam Carolla]

They've got something for everyone and and it's totally free. You can binge laugh out loud sitcoms like Frasier and rewatch cult classics like Higher Learning.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Whether you're in the mood to solve a little crime before bedtime with NCIS.

[Adam Carolla]

Or Tracker or curl up with a surefire hit like Forrest Gump. Run Forrest. Pluto TV has thousands of movies and.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Shows, all for free.

[Adam Carolla]

Pluto TV Stream now pay Never.

[Chris DiStefano]

It's time to check Adam's voicemail. Mail.

[Adam Carolla]

I took a cute girl named Debbie in Manova to see Billy Jack at my small town theater. When it came out, not only was it a shitty movie, but when I got home I found out my grandpa had died. So you, Billy Jack, get it off.

[Chris DiStefano]

You can leave us a message at 888-634.

[Adam Carolla]

Burt Ward has joined us, most famously from Robin, Batman and Robin. I got a lot of thoughts. I see him now. He's got the gentle giants dog food. I got a giant dog, Bert, so maybe I could benefit from.

[Byron]

Yeah, Phil. I understand his name is.

[Adam Carolla]

Phil's big. I love a big dog and I don't like the little dogs. I always had a fantasy about having a big dog when I was a kid. I never got one. But then I became an adult and I got Phil.

[Byron]

There you go.

[Burt Ward]

I gotta tell you real quick that Phil would be a medium sized dog, but he's very well fed. He's a tank.

[Adam Carolla]

He'll Eat anything that's not anything below 42 inches, he will eat Bert, I believe. And so much to get into. Okay, first things first. Batman. Three seasons, 120 episodes, which is 40 episodes a season.

[Byron]

It worked out to be 120. I think the last third year was a half a season. That made it to 120. Would have been more if we had the other half.

[Adam Carolla]

So how many episodes would you do a season back then?

[Byron]

Well, let's see. It would depend. It could be 26 to 35, something like that.

[Adam Carolla]

God. Because now people get picked up for six episodes or eight episodes. They don't get 35 episodes anymore.

[Byron]

Right, right, right. And ours was a very complex show to show shoot. We had a large, very huge crew of about 80 guys instead of the average of about 30 because there was so many special effects.

[Adam Carolla]

Where did you shoot that show?

[Byron]

Desi. Luke Culver, at the time, 20th Century Fox, that was the producer of the show. They were. They were full. Their lot was full with a whole bunch of shows. Lost in Space, you know, a bunch of other shows. So we were over at Desilu Culver on Washington Boulevard.

[Adam Carolla]

How did you. You were young when you got that role. Yeah. How did that come about?

[Byron]

I had been studying acting professionally, and also I was going to ucla, and my father was a prominent real estate broker in Beverly Hills. On the weekend, I would, you know, go out and help him by, you know, being on some of the open houses, let people in, and. And it turned out that a famous producer, Saul David, came in to look at a house. I asked him if he would do a scene. He was kind of shocked, and he said, yeah. And I did an improvisation for him. And he said, that's pretty darn good. Let me send you to an agent. Went to the agent who told me, I can't get work for the guys I've already represent. I would never take anybody new, but because this producer recommended you, I'm stuck. But don't expect to work for a year. And if you do, you might get one line. And I said, okay, okay. So I left. And a couple of weeks later, someone from his office called and said, there's something going over 20th Century Fox. We got a drive on for you. And I said, oh, great. What is it? They said, we don't know. They've just seen a bunch of young guys. I went over the next day and went to see casting director who said, hey, you know, would you like to meet the executive producer? And Adam, I figured everybody got to meet the executive producer because I'd never been on an interview before, even though I'd been studying for years. Years. But of course, that's not true. You don't always get to meet the executive producer. I went to another bungalow. I met William Dozier. And I guess maybe because I wasn't damaged by being turned down for a bunch of different jobs, I walked right in. I shook his hand firmly, said, hello, sir. And he said, oh, my gosh. And he looked at me, said, you're kind of big for the part. I said, I promise you I won't grow anymore. And he laughed. And we talked for a couple minutes, and he asked if I'd like to do a screen test. And I said, sure. I mean, I figured everybody got to do a screen test, right? That's not the way it really is. So I got the screen test. I was a martial artist, and I did some stuff. I broke a board with my hand and did some judo. And then I did. I was introduced to the person I was reading with, which was Adam West. And in five minutes of talking to him, the two of us were laughing. We never stopped laughing for 50 years. We were really good friends, which is incredibly unusual.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, there's something, and I'm very proud of it. I'll brag. I don't like to brag, but I'll brag. People don't understand this when you have a kind of partner in show business. There's something about the alchemy of show business where it always goes south, and every girl band starts off as we're sisters for life, and then they get some success, and then Rolling Stone shows up and they go, we want to take a picture of the Go Go's, but we just want Belinda for the COVID And then the other chicks get pissed, and then it breaks up, and then it goes south. Every comedy team breaks up. I'm here to tell you that when my house went up in the fire, or at least the neighborhood went up in the fire, and I was displaced, the first call I got was from Jimmy Kimmel asking if I wanted to stay with him. The second call I got was from Dr. Drew, asking him. Asking me if I want to stay with him. And last night I was sitting on Dr. Drew's sofa because I'm camping out at his house now. And my third partner, Skip Padell from Catch A Contractor, called me, and he's just like, I'm just checking in. Miss you, brother. We need to hang out a little more next time, and blah, blah, blah. And I thought, I'm happy to say that all my partners, I'm on very good terms with, years on. It takes a little work sometimes, but it's doable. It should be that way. It doesn't have to all be Jerry Lewis and Dean Martin.

[Byron]

Yeah, I agree, I agree. By the way, my wife and I are big fans of yours.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, wow, thank you.

[Byron]

Yeah, we've listened to a lot of your podcasts and I saw you yesterday on, on Fox. And of course you're on Greg Gutfeld all the time.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, I wanted to ask you, cuz it's been bouncing around my head for a long time. I have a vague recollection, but you tell me. I think you came out with a book. I think that book would have come out circa 94, 95, 96. Oh, sorry. Okay, 96. I have a recollection of being at KROQ for Kevin and Bean on the morning show. Jimmy Kimmel was there at the time. I don't know if you remember Jimmy Kimmel being there at the time.

[Byron]

No, I don't.

[Adam Carolla]

Because people go, how come you don't remember Jimmy Kimmel? Because Jimmy Kimmel wasn't Jimmy Kimmel. He was just the dude who let me in and got me the coffee and was doing the sports. So why would you remember who that guy was? I was there. Kimmel was there. Must have been early 96 as I, as I recall. But either way, Burt Lord was coming by. And I think the big story of the book was that his package, his groin was too big for the undershorts he was wearing as, as Robin. I think that was the big headline from that book. Now, that's all I got for memory. Am I correct?

[Byron]

Well, you are correct, but that wasn't the only thing.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, not the only thing.

[Byron]

I mean, you know, after all, crime fighters are bigger than life.

[Adam Carolla]

That's what Kevin and Bean chose to discuss that morning. That's, that's what I, I recall.

[Burt Ward]

Is that what you call them, the.

[Adam Carolla]

Crime fighters down there? That's a true story, right?

[Byron]

Yep.

[Adam Carolla]

And that was, that was in the book. I just want to make sure. I'm not, I'm not going and saying, well, now you work with big dogs.

[Byron]

Yeah, we work with big dogs and little dogs. Actually. It's our charity. My wife and I, for the last 31 years have rescued more than 15,500 dogs and 350 cats. Everyone would have been put to death. And in the course of doing that, I mean, we are very unique in the sense that all of our animals live in our house, communally with us. So at any given time we have about 50 dogs. As you can see in the photo behind me, that's not photoshopped on our website, gentlegiantsdogfood.com if you go to the website, the first thing you See is an 11 minute full screen video of all these dogs moving around. And it's our charity and we've rescued these dogs. And because dogs live a very short life, as I'm sure you know ash them, my wife and I have decided and it's made it our life's work to help them live longer and healthier. And I'll be honest with you, we are to my knowledge, the only ones in the world that with our technology and with the unique food that is different from every other dog food, we have dogs living up to and over 30 years of age. No one else can do it really.

[Adam Carolla]

And so let's break down that game film. Obviously you got to start the diet young. If you're going over 30, you can't start at, you know, 28 and a half.

[Byron]

No, no. Actually, let me, I don't mean to interrupt you, but let me just say this. We had someone that brought us a. Because again, we're rescued. Brought us a Russian wolfhound. A Russian wolfhound, like an Irish wolfhound, is a giant breed dog. Their traditional lifespan is seven to nine years. They brought us this dog at 11. The dog was very old and they thought the dog was going to die at their house and they didn't want the dog to die at their house. Better that should die at our house. And they brought us this beautiful Russian wolfhound. Her name was Tara. And we put her on our food, we put her on our feeding and care program. And then she was 11 at 25 years of age. Inside Edition, the television show came out and spent an entire day filming her, created a segment on their show called could this be the oldest living pooch in the World? World. And she ultimately lived to 27 and a half years of age. Really, it does make a difference. And the reason for this, Adam, if you want to really know the difference, yes. You know, it's funny, when you were on Jesse Waters yesterday, you made a comment about food and about how, you know, food is not so healthy. Well, if you think it's bad for humans, multiply that to dogs. Because something that you probably don't know, regardless of what you're feeding, unless you're feeding our food. Every pet food company knows something the average person doesn't know, which is the More fat content you put in the dog food, the hungrier it makes the dog. It actually affects their brain to eat more for the purpose of you having to buy more dog food. And the way you can test what I'm saying is when you get home or you get around Phil, go feel. If you're feeding a kibble, rub some of that kibble in your fingers for four or five seconds. You're going to feel a slightly greasy feeling because that's animal fat that was sprayed. And just like you wouldn't put bacon grease or turkey grease down your garbage disposal because you know it would ruin it. Why would anybody feed an animal a food that every single kibble, every single bite that dog takes is encapsulated in animal fat? It clogs their arteries, it clogs their intestines, it shortens their life?

[Adam Carolla]

Wow. And obviously you're self taught, like, and by the way, that's not a slight. The people that know the most are sort of self taught, you know.

[Byron]

Well, Adam, let me tell you, if you live, just imagine and you got a good imagination. Imagine you had 50, not 15, 50 dogs in your house 24 7, okay? That means no Sundays off, no holidays, no vacations, and you had them in your house 247 for 31 years. Don't you think you'd have learned something?

[Adam Carolla]

Listen, I would tell people all the time, back to the aforementioned Dr. Drew, they would go, when we would do Loveline, they would go, well, Dr. Drew's a doctor, so he's an expert. Well, what do you, you know, why do you know so much, Adam? You don't know anything. I said, well, listen, listen. For two hours a night for over a decade, I talked to teenagers. And when you talk to teenagers as your job, for two hours a night, every night for 10 years, then you become an expert. And then I would say, I am a journeyman carpenter who's capable of building a house. I've never read a book on building a house, but I worked on a construction site for 10 years and now I know how to build a house. So you don't need to get certified or read a book or a manual on everything. You can just live it.

[Byron]

Exactly.

[Adam Carolla]

And that's what I do with houses and teenagers and what you do with giant dogs.

[Byron]

Yeah, all dogs, you know, we're known for the big ones because. But we also have dogs that are so small you wouldn't believe. You know, an average Chihuahua weighs about six pounds. We have Chinese Cresteds here that are one third the size of a Chihuahua. At an adult. They weigh two pounds. Pounds. So we go from two pounds to our biggest dogs, which are over 300 pounds. Most people, Adam, have never seen a 200 pound dog, much less a 300 pound dog.

[Burt Ward]

What breed is that?

[Adam Carolla]

What is that?

[Byron]

Yeah, that would be a giant Great Dane. We have. I have a photo. You know, I don't know if I was able to do it. I could always send it to. If you wanted to put it in. An image of my wife standing with one of our dogs, who's seven feet. Feet five and a half inches tall. He's four inches taller than Shaquille O'Neal. Okay. I mean, that's how big that dog is. And, and, and she's. He's standing up with his paws and my wife's shoulders and the weight just of his paws is so great. She has to put her hands under there because it would just like pressure down into the ground. That they could be incredible. They're like small horses. In fact, our biggest dog was named Avalanche. Okay. He was 45 and a half inches at the back. When he's standing on all four legs. Legs. Which means if you went over to your kitchen counter, his lowest part of his back would be five and a half inches above your kitchen counter. And he used to drink, lean way down to drink from the kitchen faucet.

[Adam Carolla]

A kitchen counter height is 36 inches.

[Byron]

So I thought it was 40.

[Adam Carolla]

Now remember the building. Part 36 is a standard kitchen. Kitchen height, 32, probably in the bathroom.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Wow.

[Adam Carolla]

We've seen the picture.

[Burt Ward]

Your wife see that picture?

[Byron]

That's Sammy there.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

That's.

[Byron]

Yeah, that's Sammy right there.

[Adam Carolla]

That's crazy. I love a big dog.

[Burt Ward]

My question about it is, all right, how do you work out, like, the squabbles that naturally happen with dogs when it's 50 of them. Like, I'm just shocked right now. Like, how, how. How about introducing a new one into the ecosystem? Isn't there a little bit of dust?

[Adam Carolla]

Dust?

[Byron]

We did that every week. We had to do that every week. When you're rescuing, the only way you can keep rescuing is to adopt the dogs you have so you can take new ones in. Because we have a limit. We can't take over our limit. And in terms, I'll tell you what is the biggest challenge. There's a video on our website, gentlegiantsdogfood.com where we let the dogs out in one area. We don't let all of them out, but most of them out. And they're all standing shoulder to Shoulder eating next to each other. Now that is the greatest challenge. When they're eating and they all get along, our dogs because we train them, we're expert trainers.

[Adam Carolla]

Where do you are, what part of the country in are you in? California. And like, do you have some.

[Byron]

We're about an hour and a half from you. We're, we're in a suburb of Riverside called Norco, North Corona. They're halfway between LA and Palm Springs.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I know, I've heard of that.

[Byron]

And it's, it's animal friendly. That's why we're able to do it. I mean, you see very unique animals in the city like emus and llamas and, and people riding camels. I mean, you know, it's, it's a, it's an incredibly animal friendly community.

[Adam Carolla]

Were you able. I've read a little bit about you and it's a story as old as time. You're on the super popular TV show, number one TV show, but you don't get paid, right?

[Byron]

Yeah, well, we got paid weekly, very weekly.

[Adam Carolla]

So. So you're out there doing your own stunts, putting yourself in harm's way, and they figured out a way not to pay you. But there's other ways you can make money. You can get paid writing a book, right? Or using your name or doing, right.

[Byron]

Well, actually the best thing was making personal appearances. And ultimately over time, having autograph, personalized autographs became a great source of income. When I was doing the series on Batman, because it was my first show, I took union scale. I was getting paid a whopping $350 a week. Second season, it made the big jump up to 450 a week. And the third season is when I made the killing at 600 a week.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. But it wasn't favored nations because Adam west was probably was a name back then, right?

[Byron]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. He'd done a bunch of stuff and I think he got paid like 10 times what I got, but that was okay. Can I tell you, it was an amazing opportunity. I had the greatest time. I mean, you know, and it was just, it was an incredible experience. Our show was number one and number two in the entire world when it came out in January 12, 1966. And you know, it's, it was sold in reruns, by the way. You know, in reruns they normally buy a season or two. Batman is so popular, it was sold in blocks, in reruns of 25 year blocks. So a station wanting to run Batman in reruns had to buy it for.

[Adam Carolla]

25 years was everybody's tongue planted in their cheek. Did you know you were doing sort of campy stuff? How seriously was everyone taking it? You know, because when you watch it, you go, oh, it's. It's farcical, but it's also, you know, action and intrigue. And what happens. Did you guys know what you were doing and how it was being absorbed and digested by the viewers?

[Byron]

Right. You know, as a comic, you know, it's a lot harder to make people laugh than to make them cry. So on Batman, we had to play to all a huge audience. We had a kid audience that, you know, I mean, superhero worship. And who wouldn't want to ride in a Batmobile, climb walls, fight heinous villains, you know, know, but for the adults, it was the nostalgia of the comic book. But at that time, and this is before you, I think you were born, that the big thing was driving around on Friday and Saturday night at the outside, you know, restaurants, drive ins and the college kids and the high schoolers. Nobody wanted to watch television at that time. I mean, they would do anything other than watch tv. But Batman became a huge hit it at the universities and for. For teenagers because of the double meanings which Adam and I suggested and put into the show. So no matter what we did. And Adam was. I mean, I love that guy. He was probably the funniest person I. One of the funniest I've ever met in my life. He just had a way of saying things and, you know, you talk about things that are kind of risque. Well, I remember Norm Prescott, who was the president of Filmation. We did a series, animated series. He came up to me one time, he says, you know, your partner there, Adam, he says, let me tell you about Adam. He says, he's the only person I ever met in my entire life that everything he said had a sexual connotation to it.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, well, I mean, the folks at Family Guy knew he was funny.

[Byron]

Oh yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

And understood the chops. Even though in a weird way, I guess it was sort of. It took a while, but like movies like Airplane and Naked Gun sort of caught on to that. Let's have serious guys saying unserious things in a serious way. And like, it's literally. But he was kind of. Adam west was early money on that sort of heavy saying things that were, you know, doing the Bat two stuff.

[Byron]

Exactly, exactly.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, Bert, let me give you a plug. I've seen your commercials and I appreciate your passion. Gentlegiantsdogfood.com but any size dog may Apply. Right, right.

[Byron]

And our cat food, gentlegiantscatfood.com We've had cats live up to 31 and 32 years on our food as well. Well, it's all about a combination of three things. And you might consider this in caring for Phil. It's not just the food. It's three things. It's how you care for your dog, how you feed your dog. For example, 99% of the world feeds their dogs twice a day. We don't do that because their bodies burn out much too fast. We feed every dog here a minimum of five times a day. More frequent meals, elevated food and water stance, all of that feeding care and.

[Adam Carolla]

Food combination five times a day. And you say the elevated stance elevated.

[Byron]

So they never lean down. Let me just explain something to you. Most dogs die of cancer and that's because of the insecticides in the food, which, you know, by the way, everybody talks about. Oh, well, you know, they won't spray as much insecticide. Okay, well, let me just finish up and say this in a nutshell. The pesticides that are now built in in the DNA of food releases their own pesticide when a bug bites them, even without spraying a pesticide on it. But those three things together that combines to add years to your dog's life.

[Adam Carolla]

Once again, gentle giants dog food.com Bert, always great to speak to you, my friend.

[Byron]

Well, thank you, Adam. My wife and I will continue to follow you on TV and radio. You're a very talented gentleman and as we said on Batman to the Batmobile.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, I'm gonna be in Torrance on Saturday at the end doing stand up there fun rock and roll crowd out there. San Luis Obispo, Monterey Napa, all coming up basically end of the month, beginning of March. Chris DiStefano, Hulu February 21st. You can see his very funny special there. And until next time, Sam Corolla for Mayhem and Chris DiStefano and Burt Ward saying Mahalo, Pluto TV is the place.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

For movie fans like me and TV fans like me.

[Adam Carolla]

They've got something for everyone and it's totally free. You can binge, laugh out loud sitcoms like Frasier and re watch cult classics like Higher Learning.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Whether you're in the mood to solve a little crime before bedtime with NCI.

[Adam Carolla]

Or Tracker or curl up with a surefire hit like Forrest Gump Run Forest. Pluto TV has thousands of movies and.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Shows all for free.

[Adam Carolla]

Pluto TV stream now pay never.

[Angel Reese]

Huddle up. It's me, Angel Reese. You can't beat the post game. Burger and fries, right? Know what else you can't beat? The Angel Reese Special. Let's break it down. My favorite barbecue sauce, American cheese, crispy bacon, pickles, onions and a sesame seed bun, of course. And don't forget the fries and a drink. It's going to be a high C for me.

[Adam Carolla]

Sound good?

[Angel Reese]

All you have to do to get it is beat me in a one on one. I'm just playing get the Angel Reese special at McDonald's now.

[Adam Carolla]

I participate in restaurants for a limited time.