Comedian Dana Gould Returns + Entrepreneur & Influencer Grant Cardone

Summary

The Adam Carolla Show
Episode: Comedian Dana Gould Returns + Entrepreneur & Influencer Grant Cardone
Release Date: December 19, 2024

---

Introduction and Guest Introductions

In this episode of The Adam Carolla Show, Adam welcomes back comedian Dana Gould and introduces entrepreneur and influencer Grant Cardone as special guests. The show promises a blend of humor, personal anecdotes, and in-depth discussions on pressing societal and political issues.

---

Conversation with Dana Gould

Exploring Personal Histories and Family Dynamics

Dana Gould and Adam Carolla delve into their childhood experiences, sharing poignant and humorous stories that shed light on their upbringing and family relationships.

• Dana on Sold-Out Venues:
  “I finally found a way to sell out a venue and that's to stop being myself.”
  (03:16)

• Adam on Relationships:
  “I dress up as a partner who cares, and I find that makes the relationship much better.”
  (03:52)

Discussion on Personal Struggles and Resilience

The conversation shifts to personal challenges, including Dana’s work managing Dr. Z’s performances and Adam’s experiences explaining complex topics to his son.

• Dana on Managing Shows:
  “It's more of a psychological reaction to my warped childhood and a need to be.”
  (07:15)

• Adam on Educational Insights:
  “Most things, there's no more rules in entertainment. It’s a good time to be alive.”
  (05:20)

Reflections on Media and Pop Culture

Dana and Adam critique how mainstream media and entertainment incorporate unexpected themes, such as homoeroticism in movies like Earthquake and Gremlins, disrupting the primary narrative.

• Dana on Earthquake’s Themes:
  “In most things, by the way, they exist sort of double entendre gay talk isn’t appropriate there.”
  (16:40)

• Adam on Gremlins' Unrelated Scenes:
  “It's crazy how they inserted unrelated themes into the middle of a movie.”
  (18:44)

Parenting Philosophies and Personal Growth

Both hosts share their philosophies on parenting, emphasizing the importance of responding to their children's needs without overindulgence, contrasting with their own upbringing.

• Adam on Facilitating Children’s Wishes:
  “If my kids say, I want to do this, my impulse is, how could I facilitate that? Let’s make this happen.”
  (59:12)

• Dana on Helping Without Spoiling:
  “I derive tremendous gratification from helping out my kids or their friends.”
  (57:57)

Dealing with Loss and Family Stories

They open up about personal losses and unconventional approaches to handling grief, highlighting the absence of traditional funerals and memorials in their families.

• Dana on Family Burial Plans:
  “We’re gonna wait for dad to die, and then we can bury them both at the veterans cemetery. Because it’s free.”
  (46:20)

• Adam on Non-Traditional Memorials:
  “I told my kids I want my corpse used for stunt work because I want to keep earning.”
  (54:57)

---

Interview with Grant Cardone

Critique of California’s Political and Economic Climate

Grant Cardone joins the show to discuss his perspectives on California’s stringent regulations, high taxes, and the exodus of businesses and affluent individuals to states like Texas and Florida. He criticizes the state's policies for being unfriendly to business owners and entrepreneurs.

• Grant on California’s Tax Hikes:
  “I moved from Texas where I paid 0%, had businesses there, moved to California because I love the state... now they want to go to 14.4%. It’s not just about raising taxes, it’s the wasting of the money.”
  (114:07)

• Adam on Regulatory Overreach:
  “We have over 300,000 regulations. It’s completely ridiculous.”
  (120:15)

Business Migration and Economic Impact

Cardone explains the financial ramifications of businesses leaving California, highlighting significant losses in tax revenue and the broader economic impact.

• Grant on Revenue Loss:
  “If you have a company that sells real estate and lets people invest alongside his money... they’re gonna move because they can’t sustain the high taxes and regulations.”
  (151:00)

• Adam on Hollywood’s Response:
  “Hollywood gladly gets up and leaves. They understood it. They have to incentivize people to come back through just numbers that they were gonna continue to leave.”
  (138:11)

Potential Political Aspirations and Solutions

Grant discusses his thoughts on California’s governance and hints at his own political ambitions, proposing that effective leadership could reverse the state’s declining economic health by reducing regulations and incentivizing business retention.

• Grant on Political Change:
  “The state has to get to the place where it wants change. And I think people are going to vote their pocketbooks.”
  (115:30)

• Adam on Trump's Potential:
  “If Trump does whatever Trump is gonna do, and I think it’s gonna work, he has to understand the deep state, and he’s not burdened by a popularity contest.”
  (131:49)

Innovative Investment Strategies

Cardone introduces his groundbreaking approach to combining real estate investments with Bitcoin, aiming to revolutionize real estate investing by leveraging cryptocurrency for higher returns.

• Grant on Bitcoin Real Estate Fund:
  “We buy Bitcoin from the cash flow of real estate, and at the three-year mark, it looks almost like we got our Bitcoin for free.”
  (151:20)

• Adam on Investment Opportunities:
  “You can go to Mark Geragos' site and check out what we’re doing.”
  (152:43)

---

Key Insights and Conclusions

Parenting and Personal Responsibility

Both hosts emphasize the importance of fostering independence in their children without overindulgence, contrasting it with their own strict upbringings.

Critique of California’s Governance

The episode offers a scathing critique of California’s regulatory environment, highlighting how excessive regulations and high taxes are driving businesses and affluent residents to relocate, thereby draining the state’s economic resources.

Innovative Business Solutions

Grant Cardone presents innovative solutions to economic challenges, such as integrating Bitcoin with real estate investments, suggesting that entrepreneurial approaches can address systemic issues better than bureaucratic regulations.

Political Commentary

The discussion touches on the potential for political change in California, with Grant advocating for leaders who understand business dynamics and can implement policies conducive to economic growth and stability.

---

Notable Quotes

• Dana Gould on Selling Out Venues:
  “I finally found a way to sell out a venue and that's to stop being myself.”
  (03:16)

• Adam Carolla on Relationships:
  “I dress up as a partner who cares, and I find that makes the relationship much better.”
  (03:52)

• Grant Cardone on California’s Tax Hikes:
  “They yanked to 1313. Now they want to go to 14.4%... it’s not just about raising taxes.”
  (114:07)

• Adam Carolla on Regulatory Overreach:
  “We have over 300,000 regulations. It’s completely ridiculous.”
  (120:15)

• Grant Cardone on Real Estate and Bitcoin Fund:
  “At the three-year mark, it looks almost like we got our Bitcoin for free.”
  (151:20)

---

Conclusion

This episode of The Adam Carolla Show provides a blend of personal storytelling and critical analysis of California’s socio-political landscape. Dana Gould shares intimate anecdotes about family and personal growth, while Grant Cardone offers sharp critiques of regulatory policies and presents innovative investment strategies aimed at revitalizing the state’s economy. The conversations underscore the importance of personal responsibility, effective leadership, and entrepreneurial thinking in addressing both personal and societal challenges.

Transcript

[Adam Carolla]

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[Dana Gould]

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[Adam Carolla]

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[Dana Gould]

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[Adam Carolla]

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[Dana Gould]

Did you know you can watch all.

[Adam Carolla]

Your favorite crime shows for free on Pluto tv?

[Dana Gould]

Totally free.

[Adam Carolla]

Totally free. They've got csi, New York, ncis, Criminal Minds, Blue Bloods Tracker, FBI, swat. All for free.

[Dana Gould]

There's something suspicious going on here.

[Adam Carolla]

Nothing suspicious, just hundreds of free crime shows on Pluto tv. Crime never pays. And neither do I. Pluto TV stream now Pay never. Hey fans of freedom and open discussion. I'm heading over to Substack and there's an ad free audio and video version of the Adam Carolla show that's gonna be waiting there in the near future. You'll even be able to watch ACS live unedited as we record it. Participate in the show via live chat that'll be coming up very soon. You also get an ad free version of the Adam Kroll and Dr. Drew show. You'll also get an exclusive to my new podcast, Beat it out where I share unpolished ideas with my comedian buddies. The first series of episodes is gonna be Jay Moore. You'll get all this and more for the low, low price of nine bucks a month. A pittance for all we're going to bring you. Subscribe [e-mail] substack and I'll see all of you in our new speakeasy called Substitute.

[Dana Gould]

From Corolla One Studios in Glendale, California.

[Adam Carolla]

This is the Adam Carolla Show.

[Grant Cardone]

Adam's guest today, Dana Gould and private.

[Adam Carolla]

Equity fund manager and influencer Grant Cardone.

[Grant Cardone]

Plus the news and trending topics with Jason Mayhem Miller.

[Adam Carolla]

And now with Fake holiday Huell Howser to celebrate some silver and California's gold, Adam Carolla. Yeah, get it on. Got to get on the judgment of the mandate to get it on. Thanks for tuning in. Thanks for telling a friend. We love that about you. Mayhem's in studio. Like and subscribe. And then there is Dana Gould who Always brings the comedy and always good to see. Good to see you, Dana.

[Dana Gould]

Good to see you, Adam. So much to talk about.

[Adam Carolla]

So much. Dana's got dates coming up. It's going to be in Madison, Wisconsin. He's going to be in Madison, Wisconsin.

[Dana Gould]

Again, These are all Dr. Z dates. Oh, they are the road manager for the magical, mysterious Dr. Z. I finally found a way to sell out a venue and that's to stop being myself.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I find that works for me in relationships.

[Dana Gould]

Once I'm off.

[Adam Carolla]

Once I'm off, not myself, we flourish.

[Dana Gould]

Yeah, exactly. Once I'm off the bill, it's just ka ching, ka ching, ka ching.

[Adam Carolla]

I dress up as a partner who cares, And I find that makes the relationship much better. Yeah.

[Dana Gould]

I'm only gonna make one demand in this relationship, and that is you have to let me listen. That's all I want.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, you know, a week and a half ago, I was with Adam Ray as Dr. Phil in Arizona in front of 3,000 people in the round, having a raucous night.

[Dana Gould]

Oh, wow.

[Adam Carolla]

And he's going out and doing Dr. Phil. So, you know, there's preced. And maybe there are no more rules in comedy we figured out. Or show business. There's no more rules in entertainment. Right.

[Dana Gould]

I would say in most things.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. No, there's no more rules. There's nothing. There's nobody who can say that's a bad idea. That will never work or what have you anymore.

[Dana Gould]

Yes. By the way, all to the good.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. And maybe we have ushered in an era where we're doing shows. I mean, we have the live Kill Tonys and things like that. I was doing live podcasts. I mean, we're on our, probably our 15th year anniversary right now. It was at the end of 2009 where we couldn't make any money doing podcasting. And Mike August said, well, Irvine Meadows will take you. Not Irvine Meadows, Irvine image.

[Dana Gould]

I was at that show.

[Adam Carolla]

Probably I was at that show.

[Dana Gould]

Definitely was.

[Adam Carolla]

You do a live podcast from the Irvine Improv and get paid. And nobody knew what a live podcast was because they thought it was stand up with Adam Carolla or whatever have you. And since then, 15 years ago, no more rules. And it's a good, you know, it's a good time to be alive. I mean, listen, you know, Jake Paul is going to fight who? You know, Anderson Cooper, which I definitely would pay to watch. But I'm just saying, I don't know. Is it boxing?

[Dana Gould]

Right? Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

What is it? It's just showbiz. It's now it's.

[Dana Gould]

Now it's kind of like in. Like in Marvel Comics, it's kind of like when Muhammad Ali fought tooth decay.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. Yes. No, but I mean, we're going back to the Harlem Globetrotters playing the robots on Gilligan's Island.

[Dana Gould]

I was just reading a really great book called the Fixers, which is about this guy Eddie Mannix and this other guy, Howard Strickland. And they were in the 40s and 50s. They were employed by Warner Brothers, and they covered up all the dirt, and there's so much dirt.

[Adam Carolla]

40S and 50s.

[Dana Gould]

Yeah. Much worse than anything today. Like, the only difference between, like, now and then is, like, Diddy. Errol Flynn did nothing Diddy didn't do. But Errol Flynn was the biggest movie star in the country for a couple.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Dana Gould]

So the. But the point being is all these people, all these major companies, they're just doing whatever they have to do to thrive in that moment. And the reason, like, well, Hollywood used to make 100 movies a month. Yeah. Because there was no television.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Dana Gould]

And people would go to the movies all day because there were less things to do. So they. People just do whatever works in the moment.

[Adam Carolla]

So Dr. Z is an adaptation to the new market.

[Dana Gould]

It's more of a psychological reaction to my warped childhood and a need to be.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, you know, this is.

[Dana Gould]

Only in this. Only in this market could I do it. It was an idea that I had. What if, you know, Mick, take Dr. Zayas from Planet of the Apes and mix him with Sammy Davis Jr. And that's the show, and I really love doing it. I have a lot of fun. You can see our. We just did a Christmas special that you can live stream and Christmas with a Z. Christmas with a Z. Bill Hader, Patton Oswald, Rob Zabrecki, Janet Varney. And we had a great time, and you can livestream it.

[Adam Carolla]

Wait, no middleman?

[Dana Gould]

No middleman.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, wow.

[Dana Gould]

You know, as you. As you learned.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Dana Gould]

Like, I don't have to go to Joe Schmo and say, you know, can I have money to do this? We just did it.

[Adam Carolla]

It says from Dynasty [e-mail] DoctorZ here's.

[Dana Gould]

The best way to get it. Yeah, the best way to get it is to go to my Instagram and click in the bio.

[Adam Carolla]

So squad up. No more rules. I mean, there are women who make a living from farting into a mason jar and sending it to folks online. That's where we're at.

[Dana Gould]

Hang on.

[Adam Carolla]

Write that down.

[Dana Gould]

Is there time to get one of those jars by the 25th.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm just saying. The Founding fathers. The Founding fathers. No. John Wayne would never stop throwing up if he knew where we're at right now. Yeah, but we're there.

[Dana Gould]

Yeah, but it's also the. The 40. The people that pre came before John Wayne would have never stopped throwing up. They knew what it was like in the 40s.

[Adam Carolla]

I. I think they would have thrown up in their mouth, but not projectiles on.

[Dana Gould]

Yeah, I have. Everyone throws up in their mouth.

[Adam Carolla]

That's true.

[Dana Gould]

Sometimes most of it gets out, so.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Or in.

[Dana Gould]

But throwing up in my mouth is like saying assless chaps. No, no, chaps don't have.

[Adam Carolla]

No. There is projectile vomiting, and then there's that weird belch after you eat something weird at the Golden Corral. All right, now, I was thinking you, because I'm glad you brought up Dr. Z, because I was trying to explain. So I went to the Intrepid Museum on the aircraft carrier in New York.

[Dana Gould]

Oh, wow. Wow.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it's great. I bet it's great. I've been there a few times, but it's great. And I took my son, and we just walked up and down the decks, and I sort of explained to him what life was like when this thing saw battle in the 40s. And kamikazes. And that's a Corsair, and that's a prop plane, and that's a jet. That's an F18 over there. That's a jet plane. And there's the SR71.

[Dana Gould]

Corsairs had those crazy wings.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes, yes, yes, they did. And they were two dudes talking about World War II, WW2, baby. And the SR71 is at the end of the battleship. And the SR71 flies fastest airplane in the world. Made in the 60s, still the fastest airplane in the world. But that's because we don't care. We have satellites now. They had surveillance planes. We basically just built the fastest airplane in the world, put a camera in it, and flew it over Russia at 70,000ft at 3,000 miles an hour. And they couldn't shoot us down. But now we have to.

[Dana Gould]

At a certain point, you're just. It's fast enough, and you don't need to do anymore.

[Adam Carolla]

It's faster than a bullet, which is kind of insane if you think about a bullet being fired and a guy being in a cockpit going faster than a bullet. But I was explaining to my son, who loves movies, I said, in the movie, remember in I Am Legend, and Will Smith was on the back of this plane. On the wing. And he was hitting golf balls out into what is now sort of the tundra of Manhattan because it's all grown over and I love all that, that stuff.

[Dana Gould]

Yeah, me too.

[Adam Carolla]

And then I said to my son, it's really was a knockoff or a reboot or whatever of Omega Man.

[Dana Gould]

Well, it, it's a remake. Omega man was.

[Adam Carolla]

The book was Legend, right?

[Dana Gould]

Yeah, they just.

[Adam Carolla]

Right, they.

[Dana Gould]

For some reason that was a better title.

[Adam Carolla]

And then he said, what's Omega Man? And then I backhanded him. But here's the deal. He kept his head turned the direction I backhanded him, which meant he'd done wrong. He knew it. Like if you backhand a woman, accuse her of cheating and her head snaps back immediately, she didn't cheat.

[Dana Gould]

Sure.

[Adam Carolla]

If she keeps it that direction, she cheated.

[Dana Gould]

She knows.

[Adam Carolla]

So he knew he'd done wrong.

[Dana Gould]

Yeah, he knew he done wrong.

[Adam Carolla]

I backhanded him and then I started talking to him about the majesty of Chuck Heston.

[Dana Gould]

I was talking. Yes. Talking to him the other day for.

[Adam Carolla]

A long time with somebody and then I stumbled into.

[Dana Gould]

He's shirtless a lot in that movie. And he, he is a sinewy man. No, he's in great shape for a middle aged guy in 1970. Today it's a. You know, today you have to look like the Michelin Tire man. But like you just look like my dad without a shirt. It's like when Sean Connery comes out shirtless and Diamonds are forever. He's like, are you finishing those potatoes?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. He looked like every guy who, who smoked back then who took his shirt off. Yeah. Not fat essentially.

[Dana Gould]

Well, that's Heston and Planet of the Apes. He put on about 10 between that and the Omega Man.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. So Mega man was amazing and I just loved that movie when I was a kid. Also, you realize pre CGI they stole shots from the top of a building in Mid Wilshire and just filmed an empty Los Angeles, which they probably just did. On a Sunday.

[Dana Gould]

It was a Sunday morning at like 5:30. I know way too much about that movie.

[Adam Carolla]

But things were closed. People were in church. Like things were close. You could shoot an empty LA at 5 in the morning on a Sunday, which is unthinkable now.

[Dana Gould]

You'd have to move 70,000 tents.

[Adam Carolla]

And could you imagine even shooting that without hearing neat, neat, neat, neat. It's like the sound guy would be going nuts.

[Dana Gould]

There is one shot at the beginning of that movie because I. Where he is alone, but there is a car on the like on the 110 just going all by itself.

[Adam Carolla]

Just one zombie with a leap forward.

[Dana Gould]

One car going.

[Adam Carolla]

So then I came in. I was talking about the movie Earthquake. On this show, people have no idea about the matching of earthquake. And what got me started is the. The subway vigilante, for lack of a better term, Daniel Penny was acquitted. And I said, he looks like Margo Gortner. Marjo Gortner, who also was a military guy, vigilante from Earth, also child evangelist. Yeah. Crazy story.

[Dana Gould]

Crazy story. And was in, I believe, food of the gods.

[Adam Carolla]

They had the same hair. And then the guy put the wig on.

[Dana Gould]

Art Garfunkel thing.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes, yes. A very Art Garfunkel Y thing, minus the male pattern.

[Dana Gould]

You know, just, you know, Daniel Penny is. Somebody said to God, what if Art Garfunkel could kill.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Oh, he looked like the old. The original Menendez brothers attorney, Susan whatever her name is. That mistake. They went to the same. Fantastic. Sam's right.

[Dana Gould]

She was always smoking, going to the car. It's never a good luck.

[Adam Carolla]

And she had some. Well, and also the blonde Marcia Clark as well.

[Dana Gould]

Yes. That perm.

[Adam Carolla]

It's not perm.

[Dana Gould]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

I do want to say. I want to say William Catt, the.

[Dana Gould]

Greatest American hero, also had that.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. I don't. It's not good. The black version of that is the Jheri curl. It's not a good look.

[Dana Gould]

It's just.

[Adam Carolla]

It's not a good look on a human, regardless of your background or your culture. And it's bad on a woman. It's really bad on a guy.

[Dana Gould]

It's not that Rick James slept with 75,000 women. It's that he slept with 75,000 women with Jheri curl.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. Which also.

[Dana Gould]

I think he just did that to make it a challenge.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Also probably because he wanted to be on the bottom. Because you don't want to have a guy with a big Jerry curl mount. You're hair relaxers dripping, burning your eyes.

[Dana Gould]

It's like you're covered in wax.

[Adam Carolla]

Chemical bur. So there's this great scene that we showed a couple of weeks ago where they dropped the F bomb like five times. And not the F bomb. You're thinking of Leslie Abramson. That's the guy I'm thinking. And Marjo. Same here. But we have that scene. It's great in Earthquake. Yeah. And I'll tell you why. I'll tell you why. Because I think you and I are on the same page. Any movie that has a bizarre scene in the middle of a Movie that has a theme. Earthquake was Irwin Allen. Big budget disaster film. Real meat and potato stuff.

[Dana Gould]

Yeah. And then I believe it was filmed in sense around.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. And then right in the middle of it comes some D story about homoeroticism and bullying and gay slurs. And it's like, what is this doing? And I'm nine. When I'm watching this film, I want to see the Hollywood sign come tumbling down. Not all the double entendre gay talk.

[Dana Gould]

Feel it in the theater.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. I felt nobody.

[Dana Gould]

Also known as a woofer.

[Adam Carolla]

There's two other scenes. There's two other movies that do this. There is Porky's, which is supposed to be a nudie romper. Coming of age, you know, high school, whatever. And in the middle of that movie, there's this anti Semitic C story where it's like, listen, Kike, get out of here. And it's like, I thought it was titties in the shower. What? What happened to the dick pull titty scene? And there's weird, like a whole C story of anti Semitism. Shoehorn.

[Dana Gould]

Shoehorn.

[Adam Carolla]

Very serious Anti Semitism.

[Dana Gould]

Shooting tone deaf. Out of place.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, this isn't the move. I've seen the commercial. This isn't what we signed up for. I didn't sign up for Marjo Gordon's homoeroticism in the middle of this. That same thing we talked about a couple weeks ago, I think, where they were putting normal ads on porn. Oh, yeah. Where you get you in the door with excitement and then preach to you in the sea store. I mean, you know, we need to find. You know what would be interesting? If you find the trailer for Earthquake. There will be no hint of this weird homoerotic turn we're taking. And one more film. Sorry.

[Dana Gould]

Oh, and then I have one. Then I have one that I'm wondering if it's the next one that you have.

[Adam Carolla]

Gremlins.

[Dana Gould]

No, not Gremlins.

[Adam Carolla]

Gremlins. Phoebe Cates in the middle of Gremlins. Which is Gremlins.

[Dana Gould]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

In the middle of it, she explains why she doesn't like Christmas.

[Dana Gould]

Right.

[Adam Carolla]

And it's because her. Well, okay, they needed to know why she hated Christmas so much. And she could have went, we're Jews, we just don't celebrate. But no, she said her. She had a long soliloquy about her dad going through the chimney. Yes, on Christmas Eve. To surprise everyone. Now, how do you surprise everyone if they're asleep and you go through the chimney? And by the way, chimneys have fireboxes and flues and Stuff. It's not just one big brick.

[Dana Gould]

Gremlins is a very water slide.

[Adam Carolla]

There's a flu in there you can't fit. It's nine inches by nine. Anyway, don't get me started on building chimneys. But the point is, he then gets stuck. They can't find him. Weeks go by, they don't know where he is. Her and her mom start smelling something. His decomposing corpse. The firemen break it open. They think there's gonna be a d squirrel in there. Turns out Dad's decomposing right in the middle of Gremlins.

[Dana Gould]

But that. That was a vestige of that movie, which was much darker originally.

[Adam Carolla]

It was left over.

[Dana Gould]

Yeah. It was the vestige from the original version of the script which was a lot darker and a lot more violent because there's still that weird scene where the grandmother's killed by the tree.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Dana Gould]

Which is a weird thing. The other one is in the Killing. Stanley Kubrick's the Killing with Sterling Hayden. He has, like, the old guy that advises the heist and he doesn't go on the heist, but they were. They were cellmates in jail. And there's one scene where he goes. Like they're talking to him, like, the day before the heist. And he goes, hey, Mickey, you ever think, you know, you and me, one more time, like. Like back in the old days? And he goes, no, I don't think so, Mickey. Wow.

[Adam Carolla]

Like, it's gay sex.

[Dana Gould]

Yeah, it's really weird. You and me, you know, like back in the old days. One more time. I don't think so.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, let me play the earthquake trailer and you tell me any hints of homoeroticism in it. And it's fun for me because I lived in Los Angeles, so I could.

[Dana Gould]

And I live for homoeroticism, so this works out great.

[Adam Carolla]

They should just Dutch the camera.

[Dana Gould]

Yeah, I know. The camera.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, under the blazer.

[Dana Gould]

That was a great. I remember seeing that shot.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. The great models of people falling out.

[Dana Gould]

Missile has given Earthquake its maximum effort.

[Adam Carolla]

Starting with a story and screenplay written by George Fox and Mario Puzo, author of the Godfather, Mario Puzzle. Fascinating drama of interwoven lives with a superb cast. Charlton Heston, Ava Gardner, George Kennedy, Lauren Green, Genevieve Bujold.

[Dana Gould]

Whoa.

[Adam Carolla]

Richard Roundtree, Marjo Gortner, Barry Sullivan. Plus, city of Los Angeles and its millions of people. Living, loving, planning, fighting until nature's most violent event. Hold on a second. When we need living, loving, planning, fighting, why fighting? Why are we adding that negative spin to this? Just Living and loving.

[Dana Gould]

That announcer is the director, Paul Thomas Anderson's father, Ernie Anderson, who was also famous for being Goulardi the horror host.

[Adam Carolla]

In Cleveland and the voice of abc.

[Dana Gould]

That's right.

[Adam Carolla]

Remember they did Tonight on Vegas. Tonight on Vegas, somebody's killing showgirls. And Dan wants to know why.

[Dana Gould]

And after that, Tan is in love. But what's the mob got to do with it?

[Adam Carolla]

That's great. He'd go right. He'd go right from someone's killing showgirls to Charlie's Angels. There's a great heart to heart.

[Dana Gould]

You can find it on YouTube of his. Just outtakes. Just have him like. I don't know. I don't know where we are swearing at this stage now in the show.

[Adam Carolla]

Swear all you want. Yeah.

[Dana Gould]

Cause there's a. Tonight of the little. This piece of. I can't fucking do it. Get somebody else in here, God damn it. Tonight on Funniest Home Videos. Shoot me in the face. What the hell is that?

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, I've heard that.

[Dana Gould]

Yeah. It's so great.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it was a thrill for me.

[Dana Gould]

Because celebrities at their worst was the CD that everybody had.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. When I worked at the Flask liquor store on Ventura Boulevard. Yeah.

[Dana Gould]

My wife used to sell the flask when she was a whiskey.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, really? Yeah. So Flask, sort of high end liquor store. And Marty and Chuck owned the place and I was the delivery boy there when I was like 16, maybe 17. And Ernie Anderson lived up the street.

[Dana Gould]

Oh, wow.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Cause they were in like Toluca Village or something, like right off the wash and the Ventura highway and stuff. And he used to come in and he'd bring in his little toe headed kids with him too, which is Paul Thomas. And he has a few kids. And it was like, oh, the voice of the guy with the Love Boat. Like, it was so funny.

[Dana Gould]

Hey, I need some booze. I can't go through this weekend sober.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it was a real. The distinct memory I had is that he was a big follower of high school sports and football and whatever. And at some point I had made the all Valley football team. He read it in the small print in the back of the green sheet or whatever it is, and he came in, he's like, hey, Adam, saw you in the newspaper, you know, 17. I was like, jordan Anderson. Yeah. Saw the guy who did Charlie's Angels.

[Dana Gould]

That guy.

[Adam Carolla]

I love that guy. All right, so let's get back to Charlton Heston and his Charlton Heston. Sorry. Charlton Heston is an architect act, by the way.

[Dana Gould]

Sure is.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. He didn't want to cut corners.

[Dana Gould]

This was the scarf years where he had that little scarf tied around his neck and everything.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Ascot. Ascot. As a little different. Oh, you're right.

[Dana Gould]

It's as a specific way of tying an ascot. Ascot's you're getting into. The more Charles Nelson Riley Paul in Territory. The secret square. And we all know the secret.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, no, the. The. Like the old days. The Mount Rushmore of Ascot. Confirmed bachelor could not be mentioned without Cassidy. Jack Cassidy. Jack Cassidy was number one in the ascot. I know that guy Department.

[Dana Gould]

The father of Sean Cassidy, who was a teen heartthrob and went on to become a phenomenal writer.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, really?

[Dana Gould]

Yeah. Terrific writer.

[Adam Carolla]

Did not know that.

[Dana Gould]

Yep.

[Adam Carolla]

Of. Of serious.

[Dana Gould]

Yeah, yeah. Serious TV stuff. If you look up his IMDb, he's done a lot of really dark creepy stuff. Really? Yeah, he did like Eerie, Indiana, one of those shows. Yeah, he's great. He's great.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, all right. Little more. Little more trailing.

[Dana Gould]

You should probably have him on.

[Adam Carolla]

I have had him on, but that's predated. Nice guy.

[Dana Gould]

Yeah. Until nature's most violent upheaval forces them.

[Adam Carolla]

To battle and claw for life itself. Jim Stuart Graff see us dying again. Just upset. Pill popping. We'll get faster action if you call me.

[Dana Gould]

I'm wearing too much corduroy.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, pause it. So Ava Gardner is a drunk and a pill popper. And Chuck Heston is a successful architect who works for big firm that her dad owns. And so. So she's on the bed going, you know, he's going, it's Monday morning. I'm going for a jog. And she's have fun. Give me the scotch, you know. And he's like, you gotta get up and get some exercise, woman. Like they're dealing with addiction and stuff. He's finding her pills. She's overdosed.

[Dana Gould]

I have a weird, weird story about this.

[Adam Carolla]

That one scene, he takes a mistress on the side.

[Dana Gould]

Yeah. She's in bed and he's sitting on the bed. And there's a director, a friend of mine named Peyton Reed, who directs the Ant man movies. And he's a as into all the stuff as we are. And we have talked obsessively about Earthquake. And Peyton goes like, there's a scene where he's sitting on the bed and she goes. What do they call a male nymphomaniac? And he goes, satyr, I think. And then gets up and does this weird move getting off the bed that looks like his hip goes out.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Dana Gould]

He goes and Then like, he called me out of the blue one day, I'm just driving in the car. And he goes, I was watching Earthquake again. I figured it out. He's stepping over the dolly track.

[Adam Carolla]

Why he made that move.

[Dana Gould]

But I know exactly what he was talking about. We hadn't spoken in like three weeks.

[Adam Carolla]

It was also. It's an interesting conceit because Chuck Heston is the hero star of this. He is the protagonist of this film. Five minutes into act one, he's banging his goomah. Sure. And we were, okay. Like, the whole mentality of this country in 1974 was, you got a wife. She's getting up there, she's taking the pills, she's washing it down with the vodka. Yeah, you got a young hot chick on the side. Why wouldn't you? We're not judging him. Like, they wouldn't do that now.

[Dana Gould]

An airport. No, an airport. Dean Martin is dropped off at the airport by his wife, who is played by the woman that plays Della street on Perry Macy, beloved actress.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Dana Gould]

And she. He's like, what do you want me to bring you from Rome, honey? All right, I'll tell you. He walks into the airport and the stewardess goes, I'm pregnant. He goes, we'll get you to a real doctor, not some butcher behind the drugstore.

[Adam Carolla]

I know he's lining up as Kumar.

[Dana Gould]

With an abortion 30 seconds after kissing his wife. And I thought it would have been funny. Is of every woman in the movie walked up to him and went, I'm pregnant. We'll get you a good doctor. He's like 30 abortions into the movie. By the time the plane gets in trouble.

[Adam Carolla]

I will play a little more and then I'll play the homoerotics.

[Dana Gould]

Play this all day. I have to go to Oregon this.

[Adam Carolla]

Summer, all summer on a hydroelectric project. Come up there.

[Dana Gould]

They indicate another pre shock, probably before noon today.

[Adam Carolla]

And if it happens, then the big one follows.

[Dana Gould]

In 48 hours, if this damn bust. There won't be nothing between here and.

[Adam Carolla]

Wilshire Boulevard left to burn.

[Dana Gould]

Well, if the dam busts, it'll be wet.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right. That's a good point. I'll put it out. All right, so you get it. But watching this, you wouldn't know of the homoeroticism that was woven into that. I'll play that scene with Marjo, which is just fantastic.

[Dana Gould]

Now, his hair is different.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, cuz he puts the wig on.

[Dana Gould]

It's a wig. Okay. But the wig looks like his real hair. The fake hair is. Yeah, I.

[Adam Carolla]

That's One of the few guys who puts the wig on. It looks more realistic.

[Dana Gould]

Bodybuilding magazines.

[Adam Carolla]

Long shot holding on that guy's abs.

[Dana Gould]

Was it true that blondes have more fun?

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, no.

[Dana Gould]

Look at that. I told you he was a fag. Say, Jody, you a fag?

[Adam Carolla]

If I known you as a fag.

[Dana Gould]

Jody, I've been up here before. Could have used the money. Paul Ann.

[Adam Carolla]

Hey.

[Dana Gould]

Right. Left. Right. Let's decorate the warrior.

[Adam Carolla]

People back in the day used to throw away a lot of lead. Because every time they dump something on somebody, it was always lettuce.

[Dana Gould]

What is happening in this scene?

[Adam Carolla]

Nobody knows. It's an earthquake movie. That's the whole point.

[Dana Gould]

That's insane.

[Adam Carolla]

That's insane, right? I guess. Now, later on, guess what? He, as a National Guardsman, catches them looting. And guess what you get to do with looters?

[Dana Gould]

You guys either hands up or massage me.

[Adam Carolla]

You can just shoot them.

[Dana Gould]

Please tell me.

[Adam Carolla]

Look at this move.

[Dana Gould]

I mean, one, one, the guy in the middle, that's.

[Adam Carolla]

He's the best.

[Dana Gould]

That's a week. The other guy's dressed like Hooper.

[Adam Carolla]

Dress up in women's jewels.

[Dana Gould]

You find any dresses in the car?

[Grant Cardone]

No, Jody.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, I guess we'll have to shoot him.

[Dana Gould]

Hey, wait a minute, Jody. I was telling these guys just yesterday to lay off. I swear to God I was.

[Adam Carolla]

Ask him. Yeah, ask him if you're those naked guys. Link from the Mod Squad.

[Dana Gould]

We knew that you lifted weights and all that crap.

[Adam Carolla]

Scon Black. You think you can get away with anything?

[Dana Gould]

Push people around when you want to.

[Adam Carolla]

Steal, when you want to make fun.

[Dana Gould]

Of men who have to work for a living, huh? Not today. Hey, come back, you guys.

[Adam Carolla]

I was only kidding.

[Dana Gould]

Hey, hey, don't do that, man.

[Adam Carolla]

He's got his own little melee massacre right in the middle of Mid Wilshire.

[Dana Gould]

Not like back in the store, is it, Miss Amici?

[Adam Carolla]

No scrawny bitches coming in asking for double green stamps two days after the special's over, huh?

[Dana Gould]

None of that stuff.

[Grant Cardone]

Move it.

[Adam Carolla]

I want this whole patrol area quarantined.

[Dana Gould]

No civilians are to be allowed through without being questioned. Can't tell. They might be looters. What about the people trying to get through to Wilson Plaza aid station?

[Adam Carolla]

I met everybody.

[Dana Gould]

There's no other clear streets around here.

[Adam Carolla]

Who out, by the way? This guy rules with an iron fist. Yeah, I was gonna say Buttigieg is mad with power. Yeah, I'm just saying. Funny, it's true. He just cut down with anything I've seen. He just gunned down three Civilians. And his platoon is over it almost immediately.

[Dana Gould]

Hey, wait a minute.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, well, I'm moving people into.

[Dana Gould]

A cul de sac.

[Adam Carolla]

Should we get a medic over here? Maybe just to see if there's some life left in one of these.

[Dana Gould]

Yeah. Marjorie Gordon was a. That is a very strange. There was another movie that I just saw where they. It was a super F bomb moment. I was like, what the. What the. And it was.

[Adam Carolla]

We have the Gremlin scene ready. If you've. Not if you need it. Phoebe Cates, Worst Christmas ever Again. Hold on a second. Dana, you're a celebrated writer. Yeah. Well, you will be one day.

[Dana Gould]

One day.

[Adam Carolla]

One day.

[Dana Gould]

Fingers crossed.

[Adam Carolla]

You'll be celebrated. One day.

[Dana Gould]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Now I'm a celebrated ride.

[Dana Gould]

If I continue to not die.

[Adam Carolla]

You will one day be celebrated. I will one day be celebrated. I understand the necessity of explaining a character arc, like, why do you hate Christmas so much? And it must be addressed. And it could be simply taken care of with. My dad walked out on the family Christmas night. He left us. Or whatever. Whatever you need to bridge this story gap. But she takes it further. Here it is. And also, keep an eye on Gizmo, because Gizmo, when he's getting bad news, he's kind of like a dog in a 90s film where they go, you want to break up with me? And you show the dog going. It's like. I'm not sure that the dog would completely understand the nuance of this exchange, but. Okay, here we go. This Christmas Eve, I was nine years old. Me and mom were decorating the tree.

[Dana Gould]

Just a beautiful woman waiting for dad.

[Grant Cardone]

To come home from work.

[Dana Gould]

Zach Gallagher.

[Adam Carolla]

Great guy. Dad wasn't home. His mom called the office. No answer. Christmas Day came and went, and still nothing.

[Dana Gould]

Police began to search.

[Adam Carolla]

Four or five days went by. Gizmo knows what's going on. He knows where this is going.

[Dana Gould]

It was snowing outside. The house was freezing, so I went to try to light up the fire.

[Adam Carolla]

And that's when I noticed the smell. Firemen came and broke through the chimney top. And me and mom were expecting them to pull out the dead cat or a bird. And instead, they pulled out my father. She barbecued him. Oh, Gizmo's not happy about that. He was dressed in a Santa Claus suit. He'd been climbing down the chimney on Christmas Eve, his arms loaded with presents. Loaded with presents. Where's the flu?

[Dana Gould]

What about the door?

[Adam Carolla]

He slipped and broke his neck. Died instantly. How do we know this? That's how I found out there was no Santa Claus. Imagine her sitting. She had to sit in the trailer with her assistant and run lines on this like 40 minutes before it was time to head to set.

[Dana Gould]

Working with a coach.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, he's sitting there. Some bald guy with a ponytail. Gary, sitting there. She's running line. She's going, why do I hate Christmas? My line, Gary, when I was nine.

[Dana Gould]

Years old, just like, also know the movie you're in. Don't get too. You don't have to get too real on this. You're this. You're talking with a Muppet.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Dana Gould]

You're going to be okay.

[Adam Carolla]

That's an insane scene to have in the middle of this film. Is it? I can see.

[Dana Gould]

Well, I can see how they wanted it to be. I think it was intended to be funny. Oh, yeah, Yeah. I think they were going for like the dark joke and.

[Adam Carolla]

But they put the wrong soundtrack behind it.

[Dana Gould]

That and is a little too. A little too actor studio. Just pick it up. Pick it up.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, pick it up. We have Leslie Abrams, the Coen Brother.

[Dana Gould]

That's like a Coen Brothers joke is like in the way, like a lot of stuff in no country for Old Men. I find it hilarious.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, that's one of my favorite movies of all time. Yeah. Yeah.

[Dana Gould]

Like when you said, would you just hold this against your forehead? Yeah, it's hilarious.

[Adam Carolla]

What is this? Yeah, it's it. I mean, there's always a lot of great dark humor.

[Dana Gould]

I think that's what they're going for there. But you needed to it. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay.

[Dana Gould]

I like Joe Dante so much. Need a last minute gift.

[Adam Carolla]

Ulta Beauty is here to save the day with fast, free and easy delivery.

[Dana Gould]

Whether you're picking up in store or.

[Adam Carolla]

Getting it delivered straight to your door, Ulta Beauty's got you covered.

[Dana Gould]

Find the perfect gifts in a snap.

[Adam Carolla]

From the latest beauty must haves like.

[Dana Gould]

Tarte and Sol de Janeiro to fragrance faves from Carolina Herrera and Valentino.

[Adam Carolla]

Head to your local store or shop [e-mail]. get all the best gifts. All at Ulta Beauty.

[Dana Gould]

Oh, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, why, guys? Oh, my God. We're looking at Leslie Abramson and Marjo.

[Dana Gould]

Gordon now, by the way, not to take us into a. What's going on with the Menendez brothers? Are they getting out? What's happening?

[Adam Carolla]

I just flew back from New York with Mark Gergos, their attorney, on his airplane.

[Dana Gould]

Okay, so I did ask the right person.

[Adam Carolla]

The right person. Attorney privilege. I mean, well, they got rid of the last DA and they got the.

[Dana Gould]

New da the new DA is tougher on. Tougher on crime guy.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. I mean, nobody wants to say we let the infamous killer fill in the blank. I'm the guy who sprung that guy.

[Dana Gould]

I get it. I just. Go ahead. I asked you a question and then I interrupted you.

[Adam Carolla]

No, he took the case because of me, because I told him to do it.

[Dana Gould]

I think. Well, this is what I think. I think you can be. I mean, like, the last day was kind of a disaster. I think everybody felt. And this new year is great. Yeah. I think when people break the law, they should go to jail. I didn't know that was a radical thought. But I also think that given light of, like, what these guys, it's obvious what they've been through. The situation was. I don't think anybody's gonna think you're soft on crime if you're a stimulating circumstance. Thank you. Thank you.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I agree. You might be able to find Joe somewhere. Mark Geragos, in one of the many shows he's done, sort of saying why he decided to get involved with this case and then citing me. But I believe that it's argument. Not necessarily. They're getting out. They're gonna get out. They had a preliminary setting which was set for the 11th, because I know this because several weeks ago, Mark said, I'll take you to New York and back. Cause I had business in New York. I'm going to New York anyway. But we have this hearing on the 11th and then we can leave after that in the early evening on 11 December. But then that thing got scrubbed after the DA removal and election, and now it's kicked back to mid something January.

[Dana Gould]

It would be hilarious if they did get out and immediately went on a massive killing spree.

[Adam Carolla]

That would be awesome. That would be. That would be poetic.

[Dana Gould]

And their only defense. PO Buddy's nerficed.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right. Dyslexic. All right, we got some. So we'll see if we can find that because he. I won't step on it, but there's. Mark has said on many a TV show that I've been the inspiration for him to defend the boys.

[Dana Gould]

You saw the doc, I'm assuming.

[Adam Carolla]

I have not seen the doc.

[Dana Gould]

Here's the weird thing. I was watching the documentary with my wife, and they talk about, like, what a huge pop cultural thing they were. And they cut to Kathy Griffin doing a bit about the Menendez brothers, because she was very into the Menendez brothers. And the bit that she is doing is from a pilot that she and I did. That never aired.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, really?

[Dana Gould]

I was like, oh, yeah, I forgot about that thing.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow, how the hell did they get that? Yeah, no, Troy Miller directed it. The dramatic show covered it really well too. Like looked at it from every angle. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Listen, I really just have society broken off into two groups which is can possibly harm me or anybody in my family or anybody in society and not going to harm anybody in society. So I, I live in a world where I have Martha Stewart in there with the Menendez brothers, in there with the low level drug dealer. I just go, I don't want any of them, I don't wanna pay for any of them to be somewhere in custody. And as a matter of fact, I think they're good. Martha Stewart's an earner and I want her paying taxes.

[Dana Gould]

Right?

[Adam Carolla]

You don't wanna get her off the books for 11 months. We just left $41 million in tax revenue on the table, people.

[Dana Gould]

You know who it was? That, that would was a dog with a dog with a bone with Martha Stewart. James Comey.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, that's right, because I did see her thing and he is a douche. And it's like, he's such a douche. He's such a douche. But it's like, look, we didn't get her for the, we didn't get her for the insider trading, but she did lie about it after.

[Dana Gould]

It's like, that's what they do. Yeah, well, you weren't actually, you weren't speeding, but you rolled on your window too slow. So I'm incite you for that.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Yes, I know. So I hate it. Whether it's Comey or Mike Naifung and Duke lacrosse or whoever. Or the guy who's going after the girl who's going after Alec Baldwin for the fourth time. You're not allowed to just collect pelts in that position. You know what I mean? Like this guy is a homeless guy. I don't give a shit whether he gets convicted or not. But it would look really cool if I could get Martha Stewart and these.

[Dana Gould]

Guys and even if they know the person is innocent, they go, but it'll be, I wanna run for governor. The old the Fatty Arbuckle story. The DA in San Francisco knew Fatty Arbuckle was innocent, right? He tried to throw him in jail three times because it was a great, it would have been a great scalp for him to have. Was Nifong the same guy in the staircase killing?

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know. I know he's the Duke lacrosse guy. Oh, we have Garagos mentioning me on Megyn Kelly. Okay, so there he is.

[Dana Gould]

Our mutual.

[Adam Carolla]

Friend Adam Carolly, who is, at one.

[Dana Gould]

Point, was my podcast partner. Adam is the one who I thought.

[Adam Carolla]

Crystallizes the best Adam's got. Teenagers, Natalia and Sonny, twins. And Adam would say to me for years before I.

[Dana Gould]

Before I represented the Menendez. He says, if not. If Natalia goes into Sonny's room on.

[Adam Carolla]

A Friday and says, sonny, let's go.

[Dana Gould]

Blow my mom and dad's face off on Sunday. And Sonny says, this Sunday or next Sunday, Adam, I think I have failed as a parent. Right.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Yes, I know. All right, thank you. And it is. It would definitely be Natalia going into Sonny's room. I don't think he would initiate it, but he might go along with it. Yeah, that's. That's.

[Dana Gould]

The response is. I'm listening.

[Adam Carolla]

That's essentially.

[Dana Gould]

It's so weird. My. My brother Kevin. My dad. All right, give me.

[Adam Carolla]

Is your dad still alive?

[Dana Gould]

Yeah. 94.

[Grant Cardone]

Wow.

[Dana Gould]

So here's the deal. My mother passed away in April. She had dementia. And here was the. They all. These are all people that live within 15 minutes of each other in Massachusetts.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Dana Gould]

Guess what the big plan was. And mom had been in the facility for five years. She was down to, like, 40 pounds. Nobody responded to the news that she had passed away. With what? Right. You know what the plan was for Mom's imminent demise? Nothing.

[Adam Carolla]

No.

[Dana Gould]

Leave her in the yard and wait for crows. The one guy that lives on the other side of the GD continent has to get on the phone.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Dana Gould]

Here was the plan. Indulge me to tell this brief story.

[Adam Carolla]

Listen, I will. And then I will one up your family story. We'll see.

[Dana Gould]

See, here was the big plan. We're gonna wait for dad to die, and then we can bury them both at the veterans cemetery. Because it's free. Because my dad's a veteran.

[Adam Carolla]

And the wives get grandfathered into the.

[Dana Gould]

Apparently grandmother did.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Dana Gould]

The veterans cemetery, a convenient two hours from the house.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow.

[Dana Gould]

You might want to know where the house is located, Adam.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Dana Gould]

Cemetery Street.

[Adam Carolla]

What?

[Dana Gould]

9 Cemetery Street.

[Adam Carolla]

I thought the Munsters lived there.

[Dana Gould]

Look it up. This is the house I grew up in. 9 Cemetery Street, Hopedale, Massachusetts. Ends at the gates to the town cemetery. Never entered anyone's mind to call the end of the street and ask for the price of a hole in the dirt, which, for the record, cremation plot 350.

[Adam Carolla]

350 a what? It's just street.

[Dana Gould]

Hole in the dirt.

[Adam Carolla]

350. Oh, there's a cremation plot.

[Dana Gould]

Yeah. 350 bucks. 350 bucks.

[Adam Carolla]

So we're looking at your house.

[Dana Gould]

I grew up in.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow. Modest. That is crazy. I got a lot of questions.

[Dana Gould]

Let me just finish this real briefly. So this is what they end up with.

[Adam Carolla]

Wait, what are they going to do with your mom waiting for your dad to go put her in the fridge?

[Dana Gould]

I'm telling you now. That's so great. And the leads, they end up with this thing called a duplex urn.

[Adam Carolla]

Adam, no.

[Dana Gould]

Adam, imagine, if you will, a child's lunchbox. My mother is where the sandwich goes. My father will go where the thermos goes, but for now, it's on the mantelpiece, and my dad just sits there and goes from looking at that to whatever old Western he is watching on television. 94 years old and then back. It's like having your casket in the house. Damn. We put coats in there now, but when I die, I'll just jump in. But wow. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Also, if the. If the lunchbox has the Scooby Doo thermos in it, that'll work for the ashes.

[Dana Gould]

It's the Dukes of Hazzard.

[Adam Carolla]

Boss Hog, Thermist.

[Dana Gould]

No, my dad's 94, and he's gone down, so my brother moved. My one brother moved in with him because my dad's 94 and he's in great shape, but, you know, my brother's moved in with him, and so my dad's in Florida with my other brother for the winter. And I said, so, what's it like living in the house without dad? I'm heading home from work to roll around on the lawn. He's so happy.

[Adam Carolla]

But.

[Dana Gould]

Yeah, no, he's 94, still cranking.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't want to be a one upper.

[Dana Gould]

Well, if you could top the duplex urn, I'm ready to go.

[Adam Carolla]

The duplex urn was something that the most creative writers couldn't have conjured. You know what I mean? That had to exist somewhere.

[Dana Gould]

Yeah, I like that Monty Python bit. We used to dream of living in a corridor, right?

[Adam Carolla]

Well, in the family, lethargy meets reverence for the dead department. I think I can give you a run.

[Dana Gould]

Okay, I'm here.

[Adam Carolla]

All right. My family consists and consisted of my step grandfather, Laszlo, and then my mother, my grandmother Helen, who was my biological grandmother, my mom's mother, and then my mom and my dad, and then they both remarried. So it was a stepmom and a stepdad. My grandfather was beloved. Died, and everyone in my family. Well, not everyone, but My grandparents were part of the. Oh, shit, what was it? Foundation. I'll think of it. I'll think of it in a second. But, Shoah, I will. Neptune Society.

[Dana Gould]

Oh, I know the Neptune Society.

[Grant Cardone]

Right.

[Adam Carolla]

All poor people know Neptune. So the Neptune Society, you buy in when you're 31, and you give him $26 when you're 31, and then at some point when you die, they come get you. Yep. Now, if you look, they have a.

[Dana Gould]

Building on, like, Van Nuys and Ventura.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. They. They. A couple of things, none of which I thought were really legal in California.

[Dana Gould]

They might not be, by the way.

[Adam Carolla]

You can. You can skip the burial at sea part. See, that's. That's an extra. So what they do is, I think they get you for this base price, and then they go, but of course, you're going to want to get in the ash taxi and go out into the bay. And then you'll buy some flowers and we'll scatter them over, and then we'll take your loved one.

[Dana Gould]

Is it called an Ashtag?

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know. I came up with that name.

[Dana Gould]

That's beautiful.

[Adam Carolla]

But I. My family didn't. They didn't take the bait. Pardon the pun. So they just said, no, no, here's your 30 bucks. Just take them. So when my grandfather died, it was four in the morning, a dude just showed up in the station wagon and he just took it, and that's it. Now, there was no urn because the urn was an upsell. Forget about a duplex urn. The urn would have been another 26 bucks or something. And then putting it was all upsell. I think what they do is they. You know, it's kind of like them going, yeah, we can sell you a new car for $16,000. And you go, oh, that sounds nice. You gonna want a steering wheel with that? You go, yeah, okay. That's gonna be another 2,800. And they could just build you up to 30 grand. My family didn't take. They just bought. So they just took my grandfather. He was gone and he never returned. There was no shoebox with ashes in it. There's no anything. My grandmother died. Same thing, by the way. No wake, no funeral, no headstone, no gathering. Gone.

[Dana Gould]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay. Then I thought, this is insane. Then my mom died about two years ago, and she was just. I said, it's great. It's a joke. I do sometimes, but it makes the audience too sad.

[Dana Gould]

I understand. I understand the sad joke.

[Adam Carolla]

We should work out some of our.

[Dana Gould]

Sad jokes here been opening with this.

[Adam Carolla]

Story, and it makes him too sad. I said. After about three weeks, I said to my stepdad, I go, where's Mom? No way.

[Dana Gould]

No, I know.

[Adam Carolla]

And he goes, she donated her body to UCLA Medical. And I said, oh, what were they studying? Moms who never loved their son. And the audience goes, yeah, but it makes me laugh.

[Dana Gould]

Yeah, I get it.

[Grant Cardone]

I'm with you.

[Dana Gould]

I used to say, like, my dad. My dad's. My dad's middle name. My dad. Or like, my dad's name is kind of. No, whatever. I can't remember what it was, but they couldn't fit. Drunken, unloving bastard on a driver's license. Yeah, no, if I. If I thought it wasn't funny, I wouldn't have said it here at Guffaws, you know?

[Adam Carolla]

So now my mom's gone. The only family I got, the only living family, stepmom, stepdad, the biological family.

[Dana Gould]

Oh, that's interesting.

[Adam Carolla]

Is mom, dad. Now Dad's gone. Now dad. Okay, so we're over four on wakes, funerals, or even luncheons. Just an event. Just. We're gonna gather up, we're gonna get three or four of his friends back from the thing, or a couple of guys from the church or whatever. Gonna get together on a Saturday, and I'll bring sandwiches. Zero for four. There is none. There is. We're over four.

[Dana Gould]

We are peas in a pod.

[Adam Carolla]

I know. We are. I think we're one for four or in the urn department, because I do believe my stepmother has the remains, the ashes. I do not know if it's an actual urn. I think of it as more of a, like the kind of sack Clay comes in, but. Oh, my God. But that's it. Everyone's gone. There's no plaque, there's no headstone, there's no urn, there's no party. There's no evangelical.

[Dana Gould]

I.

[Adam Carolla]

That's.

[Dana Gould]

It's bizarre. Bizarre, bizarre. And I. But I am also well played, by the way.

[Adam Carolla]

Don't want to be a one off.

[Dana Gould]

No, no, no. But the fact that. Because I wrote. I literally wrote a Christmas card to my brother last night. Mailed it on my way here.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, yeah.

[Dana Gould]

Who's in the house?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Dana Gould]

And I said, happy, Have a great holiday. Say hi to Mom.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Dana Gould]

I don't want to be in the house with your ashes.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes, yes.

[Dana Gould]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

A very unconventional.

[Dana Gould]

As I've told my children, when I die, I want my remains scattered on Mulholland at the lookout. I do not want to be cremated.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, wow. Sky burial.

[Dana Gould]

I want to be a source of excitement.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. Yeah, yeah. I told my kids I want my corpse used for stunt work because I want to keep earning. You know what I mean? Like, you know when you see that dummy fall off the building, the elbows, face going the wrong way. Throw an actual corpse off that thing.

[Dana Gould]

I'm a guy. Guys going off the bridge in Raiders of Temple of Doom.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, that'll be me. But only a human body makes a certain sound when it hits the pavement.

[Dana Gould]

The funniest thing I've ever heard. There was a comedian and she's. We were talking about after our course, April Richardson is her name. And she said, I want my. I want my corpse marionetted around my coffin to the tune of yakety sax. And if you just imagine what it looked like, but just like you're at a funeral and then the court and those jerky marionette motions. That is a beautiful, beautiful nightmare vision that I.

[Adam Carolla]

Would you say that your family represented or reflected while you're. During your childhood and while living, the sort of manifestation of what is after they've passed, which is there's no big departure. My family, meaning when people died in my family, the other family members were like, they did what dealers do when the shoes died. We're out. Right. But when I was 12, that's how they were. That's how I was raised. Like, we're out. We're not. It was wildly consistent with how they lived, is what I'm saying.

[Dana Gould]

Mine is a tad more scabrous. I think it is a staunch refusal to deal with any form of adult responsibility.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. Yes. I had a lot that. My family had a lot of that, too. Yes. With that. And also bizarre.

[Dana Gould]

I needed brace enough. Six of us. I needed braces.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Dana Gould]

I needed glasses. Zilch.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So being a parent really boils down to how much stuff are you willing to do that you don't really want to do or wouldn't have done on your own or sort of wouldn't have done for somebody else's kid who you did not know at all? You know what I mean? So all the. It really boils down to that. So let's see if we can break this down.

[Dana Gould]

Yeah, but don't you. I mean.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Dana Gould]

I think I'm normal in the sense that I derive tremendous. It's probably because we grew up the way we grew up. I derive tremendous gratification from helping out my kids or.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Dana Gould]

Or their friends or. You know, it's like that. It's like, no, you don't. You can. I like doing that job. I love that job. When my daughter came into our lives, my first thought was, it's no longer about me. Which I found a tremendous relief.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, I think you and I share this, which nobody in my family shared this thought, which is, I feel like I would like to realize whatever the request is. So I'd had many a night where I'd just be sitting in my office in my bathrobe at 10 at night, and then my daughter was, like, 16, and she'd just walk into my office, and she'd go, I want to practice driving. Can we go out for a drive? And I'd go, oh, yeah. I would stand up. I wouldn't go, give me a half an hour. Or I wouldn't say anything. I'd just go, yeah, okay. And I would just stand up and I'd start putting sweatpants on and walking toward the car because she wanted to go for a drive. I wasn't like. I felt like, oh, the princess must be made happy, and I must wait on every. Every whim and every decision. I was just like, oh, she wants to do this.

[Dana Gould]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay.

[Dana Gould]

And also, what. That's what that says. And it's the same thing with my kids. You know, it's like, also, I'm so happy that my kids aren't afraid of me.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Yeah. They're just coming in and saying, we.

[Dana Gould]

Would not think to go into the room our dad was in and ask him to do something while he was.

[Adam Carolla]

In the bathrobe at 10 at night. Like, no way.

[Dana Gould]

I broke my collarbone in 1972, and my father took me to the hospital the minute the game ended.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right, the game he was watching.

[Dana Gould]

Boston Bruins, St. Louis Blues.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. Not the game you played into breaking.

[Dana Gould]

He was watching. Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

On tv, right? Yes. In black and white.

[Dana Gould]

Yep. And my mother didn't have a driver's license. I sat in the kitchen with a broken collarbone waiting for the hockey game to end.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. And I. That was my childhood.

[Dana Gould]

I still remember it.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. And now I don't. So now the thing is, I don't feel like I need to spoil my kids. I just remember little things. Like, my daughter showed me this cool picture of a bed that was on a riser and the drawers pulled out from underneath. It was kind of a fort bed thing, and I'm a carpenter. And she showed it to me. She goes, could you build me one of those? And I was like, yeah, I could build that. And the following Monday, I was Just building it. And I wasn't really questioning it, and I wasn't trying to delay it. It was just what you want to do. Let's do it. And I don't know where we got that, but my parents. Everything was a battle. And, no, we can't afford it. We're not gonna do it. But let's just. Just see if we can distill it down to this. I would like to keep 100% of my money, but I'm willing to give the government a percentage of it. And then there's braces and glasses and things, trips to the emergency room and space camp or what have you.

[Dana Gould]

Trust me.

[Adam Carolla]

My son's been to Japan two times. I will dive before I go to Japan because I can't afford it. It's the way I look at it.

[Dana Gould]

I have three kids, and they've all seen Hamilton on Broadway.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. Yes. I was literally.

[Dana Gould]

And I have not.

[Adam Carolla]

I was flying home on Mark Garrigus jet. You had a picture of my son. Did I send that picture of you over there? I'm flying home on Mark's jet with my son. And I was like, where we been? He's like, well, I've been out to Nashville with you to go see you. And then we went over to Florida to go do Tucker Carlson's thing. And then we went. Every year we go to Laguna Seca up north to do the car race. And then I've seen you perform in Denver and Salt Lake City, and we start going through, and we're like 11 or 12 places. And I hadn't left Valley Village by the time I was his age, much less had a discussion. But. But, I mean, look, you can call it spoiler.

[Dana Gould]

Is it his plane or is it, like, a private service?

[Adam Carolla]

It's Mark's plane, so you can call it whatever you want. I just have an impulse to try. When my kids say, I would like to do this, my impulse is, how could I facilitate that? How can we make this happen?

[Dana Gould]

Because you and I have a work ethic, and that is our job.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. My mom imparted two great pieces of wisdom to me. That's Sonny sitting before we take off. I look like Trump over there on Garrigus.

[Dana Gould]

He looks a little like Robert Smith.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Dana Gould]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

I had to use him, by the way, in my performance that I perform on Mark's jet. Every time we get on a jet, directly behind Sonny's seat is Mark's seat. Mark's is the same as all the seats on the jet, except for it has a Sheepskin insert, which sort of connotes or denotes this is Mark's seat. Now, usually when I fly, Mike August is on that flight. And usually Garagos is the last person to get on the plane because he's out there doing whatever with whomever. And so then usually I have Mike August sit in Mark's chair. And then I wait for Mark to come onto the plane. And then when I notice he stepped onto the plane, I start screaming at Mike, get the fuck out of Mark's chair. God damn it. He's flying us for free. And you got the balls to come in here. But Mike wasn't there. Nice. So I told Sonny, sorry, go into Mark's chair and pretend like you're asleep. And then when Mark turns the corner and gets onto the plane, I'll violently shake you and turn my back to Mark and scream, get the fuck out of chair. This is insane. This man is so generous. And I can't believe you're sitting there. Which worked nicely, I must say.

[Dana Gould]

I just. I just realized something interesting. This is the kind of thing that you could expound upon. Elvis named his plane the Lisa Marie after his daughter. If that plane had crashed and killed Elvis, that would have.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Dana Gould]

Destroyed his daughter.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I agree.

[Dana Gould]

And as she grew up so north.

[Adam Carolla]

This is why you don't go with the juniors, you know, because the guy.

[Dana Gould]

Gets the name Frank Sinatra Jr. Is child abuse.

[Adam Carolla]

It is.

[Dana Gould]

It's child abuse.

[Adam Carolla]

And at some point, or they go off and become a serial killer, and then you have the same license as them.

[Dana Gould]

If John Lennon said to his kid, you can have a band, but it has to be called the Beatles Junior.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. Right. So all I want to do is sort of do whatever my kids want to do, you know, sort of within reason. And our parents, I think, wanted to do the least amount humanly possible, but that included everybody. And being related to them didn't sway them. Right. So my mom was consistent. She didn't want to do anything. My mom gave me. There's two things burned in my head. First off, I said to her, you know, once you get off, why don't you get a job? If you get a job, then we could have a car and nice stuff. If you just get a job. Because when you're nine, you just think about a job. You don't know what job. Just get a job. So we could get a piece of furniture or something. And she goes, if I get my job, I'll lose my welfare. And I remember thought, oh, that's an amazing message to send to your 9 year old. But the other message which is good is at some point I figured out cause for her, I go, it was always, you know, expensive gas is like, could I get a ride to Teddy Lewis's house in Van Nuys? You know how much gas is? Do you know, could you imagine talking to your kid about the price of fuel? But all right, do you know how much gas is? So I had done the math. She's driving a VW Squareback.

[Dana Gould]

Oh yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Gets like 30 miles to the gallon. Four banger air. Cool. I go, Teddy's house is probably four miles from here. Your car gets 30 miles to the gallon. So that's like eight miles round trip. So that's not even a third of a gallon. And gas is like 71 cents a gallon. So I think it costs like 20 cents to give me a ride. And she goes, she goes, every time you start the car, it costs money. Belts, oil, wear and tear. Every time it costs money. It's not just. And I'm thinking, I look back, I was like, you're a 46 year old woman. This is a conversation you're having.

[Dana Gould]

Now. My mom was pretty, was very caring person. She was, she was. She didn't like to say no to issues. So I. She wasn't that. But then there were things that, you know, it was an insanity. Early 70s, mid-70s. And I was walking on the street one day, I'll never forget this. I was in New York and it hit me out of the blue, wasn't thinking about it, that our mother used to hit us with a board.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow.

[Dana Gould]

She had a piece of like a 2x4, but it was whittled down. It looked like a hobbit sword. It had a little handle and it was about two feet. And she would use it to stuff clothes down into the washing machine and hit us on the back of the legs.

[Adam Carolla]

Chase you around the Shire.

[Dana Gould]

Yeah, yeah. And hit us on the back of the leg. I mean, the poor woman was alone with five boys. I mean.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. And I got the spoon treatment. Backhand with a spoon. Okay. Wooden spoon. Yeah, yeah, wooden spoon.

[Dana Gould]

No, not a unpleasant feeling. So I call my brother. Like literally, I'm walking down the street in New York, I hit. And I call my brother. Same brother that I just said to him, I call my brother Kevin and I go from a payphone.

[Adam Carolla]

A payphone, yeah.

[Dana Gould]

This is how old the story was. I go, remember the board?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Dana Gould]

Because that was the. I'll go, I'll get the board. Do you want me to get the Board, right? And. And he goes, yeah, of course I remember the board. And I totally forgot about it. I just remember. And he says, did I ever tell you what happened to the board? I went, no. He goes, oh, yeah. I was about 15, 16. Mom came at me with it, and I just took it out of her hand and said, did you want this? That was the end of the board.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow. Stood up to the chairman. All right, well, we could regale you all with horrible stories.

[Dana Gould]

Horrible stories of our abused childhood paid for itself.

[Adam Carolla]

I was saying to this. And maybe you guys. I mean, Dana and I are the same age. So I remember this. I was talking to Dr. Drew. And once a year, I talk to Dr. Drew, and I marvel not only at our own parents, but their friends and just other adults, you know what I mean, who were sort of around in a peripheral way. And I could remember, like, going over to Chris Bohm's house because there was no food in my house. I was always like a raccoon in a dumpster. I'd go. I'd open the pantry, and I'd see instant pudding. I'd be like, let's make some pudding. Let's make some pudding. Because my house was dry and I had no money. But I remember one night, sort of waking up at, like, 10, and I would get up at night, and I would sneak into their kitchen and open the pantry door and get a bunch of Triscuits or something and some peanut butter. Good kind of peanut butter, Skippy smooth. And I remember once having my head in the pantry. And Chris's mom, Barbara. Barbara Bohm, her stupid friend Louise, who just single mom, live in an apartment, like, down the street with a teenage son, like, turned the corner and went, like, excuse you. And I was like, huh, son, Is that your pantry? And I was like, no, no. Are those your Triscuits? Like, no. Well, then you march yourself back. And I. I thought at the time it was all just fear and. Oh, my God, I'm so fucking Louise. God damn it. Shame and fear. And I. Yes. I didn't pay for the triskets. I said, could you imagine as an adult, like, walking into someone's house and seeing their kid's friend, like, and you're eating something and you turn the Corner, here comes Mr. Gould. He's got a head of steam. What are you doing? Those Funyuns, son. Like, where did the energy come from? I was a kid. I was clearly emaciated, eating Triscuits. I was eating 10 cents worth of Triskets. Why the animation? What's in it for you. Thank you for terrorizing me. And yes, I feel a lot of shame. Where did these adults. I don't know where these adults come from.

[Dana Gould]

It's funny. That was the opposite of. I will say that was the opposite of my mother, the boy. Because we lived by the cemetery. But there was like a. There's a baby boom and There was like 15 kids within a 5 year age range. And we just moved in a herd.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Dana Gould]

And it was a block. And we would all just walk into each other's houses.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Dana Gould]

We didn't knock.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Dana Gould]

We just walked in.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Dana Gould]

It was like a big.

[Adam Carolla]

Could you go get something out of the pantry?

[Dana Gould]

Yes. But my mother, you. My mother would stick a sandwich. She would hear the door open and make a sandwich and give it to you before you asked. Sat. My friends used to say, when my mom died and I talked to my friends so that your mom would go from zero to sandwich in half a second.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, a saint.

[Dana Gould]

Yeah, she was. To that end. Yeah, she was.

[Adam Carolla]

Joe, you can find a picture of my mom's kitchen, which is awesome. But to me, a pantry was an exotic locale.

[Dana Gould]

Sure.

[Adam Carolla]

I never knew what a pan. I didn't know what a pantry was. We had cupboards. We had up ones and low ones, but there was no pantry. We didn't need a pantry because that's where the fun stuff was. But I just marvel at the. Then you have kids. And I would come home and my kids friends were sitting around eating, and I just. How you doing? And I'd walk, walk past them.

[Dana Gould]

Do you know what almond moms are? Yeah. This is the thing we missed. But my wife. My wife's mom was an almond mom. Still. Probably still. Still is. There you go. Look at that wallpaper.

[Adam Carolla]

I can show you pictures of my mom's kitchen. Paint coming off of everything. No, no. Counter space, the sink, the TV on, the dishwasher.

[Dana Gould]

Love it.

[Adam Carolla]

The upper. The upper cabinets hung out as far as the sink. So you were staring. You had your face in a cabinet if you were watching dish. And I used to drink from the sink and then hit my head on the upper cabinet.

[Dana Gould]

It really does look like the camera's gonna move in and we're gonna see a head in the sink. This does look like Ed Gein's cabin.

[Adam Carolla]

I'll get a nice shot of the caulking on the back of the sink and the paint coming off the cabin and the linoleum floor, the vinyl floor.

[Dana Gould]

We had that linoleum. We had that blue. The brown Square linoleum.

[Adam Carolla]

We wore the fake wood grain off of it, and now there's just a tan spot where mom did and did the dishes.

[Dana Gould]

Gaf. What was it? Gaf.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. They make life better or whatever it is. Yeah.

[Dana Gould]

But Henry Fonda did the commercial.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, my God.

[Dana Gould]

Wow, that's rough. But, yeah, Almond moms. Allman Moms are the sort of just a generation behind our parents who very health food conscious. No soda, no snack, no soda, no cookies, no chips. And my wife's mother and her sister, both are very close. And so they were like, you know, I'm either at aunt's or my mom's, and there was no fun food.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, yeah, that's my.

[Dana Gould]

My wife was telling me this story that her aunt would say to make breakfast, she to have, like frosted Mini Wheats. And she was like, how many do you want?

[Adam Carolla]

How many units?

[Dana Gould]

Yeah, like four Mini Wheats. And that my wife one day, like, is a legend in the family because she stood up as a little girl and poured a proper bowl of cereal. And I want this many.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow.

[Dana Gould]

This is the normal amount of mini Wheat.

[Adam Carolla]

And now she can't orgasm unless she's being chucked.

[Dana Gould]

Well, things work out.

[Adam Carolla]

I believe it was.

[Dana Gould]

I believe it was the movie Jurassic. Nature finds a way.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, man. Oh. Substack question. My parents ever gave me money that asked to bring back change? No. Because they didn't have paper money. They had change. So any money would have been the exact change.

[Dana Gould]

Were you ever sent to get cigarettes?

[Adam Carolla]

I was.

[Dana Gould]

Yeah, me too.

[Adam Carolla]

My dad's like, give me some cigarettes. I'm like, dad, I'm 2012.

[Dana Gould]

Yeah. Walk over this. Walk to the store with a note. Please sell my son a pack of Vantage.

[Adam Carolla]

Vantage. Somebody smoked Newport's? Yeah. My family didn't drink or smoke, which is bizarre because they're. They're all the manifestations of drinking and smoking. Without the motivation of the drinking, the.

[Dana Gould]

Smoking, I cannot make that claim, my friend.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. All right, let's take a break. We'll come back. We'll do some news right after this.

[Dana Gould]

Adam Carolla Comes Clean, now [e-mail] I.

[Adam Carolla]

Think the problem with Olympic fencing is the outfits. They dress like X ray technicians with a spaghetti colander on their head. They be forced to wear the outfits of their country swordsmen from back in the day. Right. France would have a musketeer. Japan would have a samurai. United States, a homeless guy with a machete. He's got a load in his sweatpants. Subscribe to Angel.com Adam to get exclusive access to the full dry bar. Comedy special Adam Carolla comes clean. Aura Digital Picture Frames what most people really want for the holidays is to see their favorite people more often. So this year, the best gift you can give is an Aura Digital Picture Frame. It's really, really insane technology. All the great photos coming up magically in your Aura Digital Picture frame. Name the number one digital photo frame by Wirecutter so you know it's good. Incredibly smart and easy to use. Upload unlimited photos and videos direct from your phone right to your frame. Or you can order the frame online and preload it with photos and videos using the Aura app. App. So it's ready right out of the box. What a gift again. You know, people get ties and they get fruitcake and bad sweaters, but this one keeps giving, especially around the holidays. It's Aura Digital Picture Frame. Right? Dawson. Save on the perfect gift by visiting auraframes.com to get $35 off Aura's best selling carver mat frames by using promo code Corolla at checkout. That's a U R A frames dot Promo code Corolla.

[Dana Gould]

The deal is exclusive to our listeners, so get yours now in time for the holidays.

[Adam Carolla]

Terms and conditions apply. Him's Hair Men when we leave the house, we check for the phone, we check the wallet, you check for your keys. But what about the hair? How's the hair look? Are you experiencing a little hair loss? Hmm. Well, may hurt the confidence a little bit. And you want to get that confidence back. And that's where HIMS comes in. They provide a range of doctors, trusted hair loss treatments, chewable oral spray and serum as well. All from the comfort of your own couch. You can just do it all online. Simple 100% online process. Just answer a few questions and a medical provider will determine if treatment is right for you and which treatment should be prescribed to you. Treatment is sent straight to your door directly. It's just going to be between you and your dog. No one else going to know about this. No insurance needed. One low price covers everything from treatments to ongoing care. It's hims hair, right Dawson?

[Dana Gould]

Start your free online Visit [e-mail] Adam that's H I M S.com Adam for your personalized hair loss treatment options. Hiss.com Adam results vary based on studies of topical and oral Medox prescription products.

[Adam Carolla]

Require an online consultation with a healthcare.

[Dana Gould]

Provider who will determine if a prescription is appropriate. Restrictions apply. See website for full details and important safety information.

[Adam Carolla]

Hey, it's Adam Kroll from The Adam Kroll the Show Betonline is the world's most trusted betting platform and your number one source for online betting. From the earliest odds to in game live betting, Betonline provides you with all the action and the ability to watch and bet on games as they happen. With the largest selection of odds on everything from football, NBA, college basketball as well. BetOnline has NHL, MMA and championship boxing. All your betting needs in one place. Head to Betonline today to get in on the action with America's most trusted site for online wagering. So have some fun. Make these games and these events and these combat sports a little more interesting with bet online. Bet online. The game starts here. Here's a memorable moment from the Adam Carolla Show's ACE Awards archives. Hu, I saw the dailies and you did. I gotta look at me. You got 40 minutes outside of the bun boy. We got to tighten this up. We've got to pick up the pace.

[Dana Gould]

I understand, but when it comes to something called a bun boy, I am my expert.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, no, don't miss the 2024 ACE Awards this December. Now back to the Adam Carolla Show. Dana Gould in studio. Yeah, we were just ruminating off the airbag the confusion of the parents, you know what I mean? But listen, I feel that way about parents who molest their kids. It's like it doesn't compute. No, that's what I mean. I don't get why you would do any of this.

[Dana Gould]

I don't know if it's, it could be a class thing, like you know, we were lower working class and that the parents were just bitter and angry because they were bitter and angry. I can't see how like a generation of all too like the next generation will love their kids. Like isn't that a biological imperative?

[Adam Carolla]

You know you can find a picture.

[Dana Gould]

Giraffe love their kids.

[Adam Carolla]

You can find a picture, Joe, famously of my family in my grandparents backyard sitting around a picnic table by my grandfather. Grandfather was sort of normal, would do barbecue some chicken drumsticks every once in a while. Never steak or any red meat but it was too expensive. But you can see my family. You can see what's on their faces. You know, downtrodden, depressed, angry.

[Dana Gould]

No, I don't have a photo of my dad. I have photos of my dad all over my phone and there's no smile.

[Adam Carolla]

It's an interesting, it's an interesting concept because the photo sort of captures everyone. You'll see me painting on a smile, sort of attempting to be the clown and try to make everyone happy. My mom hated her mom who was taking the picture. So my mom looked the other way right before, you know, because she went, 1, 2, 3. You know, back when you had to count down a picture and my mom just looked the other direction the second it was time. She wasn't gonna give her the satisfaction of taking a picture. My dad. My dad had a. My dad had a kind of like.

[Dana Gould]

Look at your mother looking the other way.

[Adam Carolla]

5,000 yard stare, like a Vietnam vet. It seemed way too much. Now understand. My grandmother stood up and got a Nikon camera out and said, we are going to take a photograph. Now, it is clear that we're taking a photograph because my sister has her head craned around, but she's so broken at this point, she can't paint on a smile either. My grandfather, old school Hungarian Jew, is craning his head around because she's announced, I'm taking a picture. I am trying to find the lens and putting on a smile, which is what I would try to do.

[Dana Gould]

You've honed in on your key light.

[Adam Carolla]

And my dad just went, I'm dead inside. I can't believe I'm married to the shrew. What am I doing here? And my mom literally turned her head the opposite direction away from the camera, even though my mother was oriented toward the camera. So my grandmother, her mother, mom, who she always called Helen and never mom, picked a position that was 12 o'clock and straight ahead with my mom so she wouldn't have to turn her head around. Right.

[Dana Gould]

If you just cropped out your sister and re. Cropped that photo of just your mom and dad and called it Marriage man by Diane Arbus. I believe Diane Arbus took that photograph.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes, my mother.

[Dana Gould]

It's all there and it's not much.

[Adam Carolla]

And she put her hand on her chin and looked the other direction.

[Dana Gould]

She's scowling.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. She is a conscientious objector to this photo. And my dad recognized a photo of mine. Recognized the photo. The photo's being taken. But could not even fake a smile at this stage.

[Dana Gould]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Of the game with the two kids.

[Dana Gould]

Yeah, that's my dad. I will find a photo of my dad and whatever photo comes up, he ain't smiling.

[Adam Carolla]

Now. My grandfather's trying, I'm trying, and my sister's.

[Dana Gould]

But there's my mom. She's making food, she's happy.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, she's an attractive woman, by the way.

[Dana Gould]

She's a beautiful woman. She was a beautiful woman. My dad not smiling.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, sorry. We'll Find it. We'll get the news.

[Dana Gould]

There he is. There he is. There he is. That's the grin you're gonna get shirt off. Oh, yeah. He would rather put a gun in his mouth than put on a shirt. I'm not lying.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, in the news today, we have a San Francisco health department hires a fat positivity expert to consult on weight stigma and neutrality. Yeah, I saw this somewhere online. Yeah, yeah. Virgie Tofar, the author of you have the right to remain fat and other published works on f positivity and body acceptance. Is that a gal who's fat or a fella who now a gal. I'm very confused these days.

[Dana Gould]

That looks like a plus size.

[Adam Carolla]

Latina author, lecturer and leading expert on weight based discrimination and body positivity. Started as a woman, but okay.

[Dana Gould]

Also looks like Mo Howard. If Mo Howard played his own wife in one of the shorts.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right. Now, I know you have to be black if you're gonna have head up the, you know, studies, whatever, the black studies at the college or whatever, that's a given. But do you have to be fat to head up the fat council?

[Dana Gould]

I went to. We're of a certain age and you, you in pretty good shape. You're healthy, you go. I'm assuming you do your annual physical.

[Adam Carolla]

Sure.

[Dana Gould]

And the doctors. Oh, boy.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Dana Gould]

Yeah. Why bother?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Dana Gould]

You know.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Dana Gould]

What do you have in the morning? All I have for breakfast is coffee. What, you put milk in it? Yeah, I put a little bit. 2%. Forget it.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Dana Gould]

Just eat a cake. Yeah, just eat a whole cake.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Dana Gould]

But I was reading this book on longevity and not that I want to live longer, but you want to be healthy. And also, as my doctor says, medicine, the way medicine is. Now imagine the Titanic heading towards the iceberg. We've got all the plans on what to do once you hit the iceberg, but we don't put any effort into avoiding the iceberg. Let's avoid the iceberg. Iceberg.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Dana Gould]

In the 70s, the average weight of the American man, 173 pounds. Now it's 200 pounds.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. The simplest equation I've ever heard was Vinnie Tortorich, nutritionist. A friend came in here and he said, look at pictures of Woodstock.

[Dana Gould]

Yeah, everybody's skinny.

[Adam Carolla]

That's what people look like.

[Dana Gould]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Those weren't fitness models. They were just fucking people wanting to go see the Grateful Dead. And a lot of it is they're all skinny.

[Dana Gould]

And, you know, a lot of it is the way, you know, our lifestyle and the Way food is made now.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Dana Gould]

And the way it's served.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Dana Gould]

Is working against. You know, we're not evolving as species at a rate to adjust all this crazy fructose.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, but I. Look, you show if you're fat and.

[Dana Gould]

You don't want to be made fun of. That's great.

[Adam Carolla]

Well.

[Dana Gould]

But you're not at your healthiest.

[Adam Carolla]

No. In San Francisco, they're taking it all the way the other direction.

[Dana Gould]

We want everybody to be healthy, and it's expensive to eat well, and that's not great.

[Adam Carolla]

This lady's argument is that that's not what anyone's getting at. What they're doing is pressuring people to be anorexic. Yeah. They have a plan to talk less, not about how you or others eat at work. Work. She does talk less. The rules are talk less or not at all about others. Bodies at work. Talk less or not at all about exercise at work. She basically. But she's employed by the city of San Francisco.

[Dana Gould]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

I believe it's sort of kind of dei.

[Dana Gould]

Famously conservative. San Francisco.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. It just doesn't sound like the San Francisco either. The Health Department. That's right. Yeah. The health department expert. All right. We don't listen.

[Dana Gould]

It's all about, are you healthy?

[Adam Carolla]

It's are you healthy? And you're not healthy when you're fat? And so let's just focus on it from that standpoint.

[Dana Gould]

They have. This is the last thing I'll say about this. I'm starting to sound like rfk. There's a vec.

[Adam Carolla]

Mm.

[Dana Gould]

They for billing codes. You know, billing codes on your health insurance. They have a billing code for your doctor prescribing insulin. They don't have a billing code for your doctor telling you what to eat to not become diabetic.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Dana Gould]

You know, there's a focus. There's not a focus on prevention.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. For me, it is, let's just say, more global in our approach, which is. Is we are shaming these kids by giving them failing grades in their math tests. So we need to lower the bar for. And it's like, okay, we can reverse engineer everything. We can invent a scale that says you weigh 161 when you weigh 261. And we can take somebody who says 2 and 2 is 5 and give them a pass and grade. We can do anything of that. I mean, if you really want to break it down, it's like, well, it took you so long to get from LA to New York. Well, no, it didn't. Give me your watch. I'll just change it back four hours. Okay. That is no approach to anything, any of the time. And it's a little bit of the new world order. Like, just tell the fat kid they're thin or you're proud of them. Tell the failing student they don't have to get the good grade grades. Lower this, adjust that. I mean, it's kind of a. It's where you go when you go, look, we want more female firefighters. And then you go, we don't have, you know what, what do we got now? We're at like 3%. Well, what's the problem? Well, the hose pack weighs 70 pounds and they gotta make it over that eight foot fence with the hose pack on. And women can't do that. Okay. We're gonna have to figure out a way to invent a lighter hose or to coach the women. But the rule isn't lower the wall and make the hose pack 30 pounds, which will get more women into the fire department. But they're not really going to be the women you want in the fire department. So we've been doing this for a long time. Like, we're literally adjusting things so that we can get the kind of numbers you want. Schools are doing it now where it's like, we don't have enough graduating people reading at grade level. Then lower the threshold. I think that's so stop. Reverse. You can't go that direction. Figure out a way to get people to read better, do better math, clear the bar.

[Dana Gould]

And all it is. Is there a way to tell people something they don't want to hear without shaming them? Because that's. It's just like avoiding feeling bad. And I get that we have kids we don't want to, you know, we wouldn't shame our kids that they. But can you challenge people to do better without. I'm not saying you're an idiot if I fail you. I'm saying that you need to work harder to do better.

[Adam Carolla]

I would also reckon or posit that I was a shit student. And I was a shit student. And I knew why I was a shit student. I did not do homework. I didn't work over the weekends. I didn't study. I didn't do any of the things that would have made me a good, good student. I knew it. I mean, you could shame. You couldn't shame me because I knew why I was getting shit grades is because I wasn't working hard and I wasn't applying myself. And I would see all the other guys bringing home the notebooks and the books. And I'd say, you want to go out Friday night? I got homework. I got a book report. You know, I go, not me. Except for I did. I just didn't do it. And everybody knows the difference between a donut and an apple and a piece of cake and a hard boiled egg. They know it, they just don't want to do it. I get it. I want the donuts and no homework. I like that life. I don't think you're really shaming them. I think you're telling them something they already know.

[Dana Gould]

No, but it's the. Yes, I agree with you, but I think a lot of that comes from we don't want anyone to feel bad. Well, they're not feeling, you know, teaching somebody something is, no, I don't feel bad. Or they don't know something.

[Adam Carolla]

I completely agree. And some of the better, more, you know, moments in my life were somebody telling me, hey, what are you doing? You know, you're better than this. You're failing. You know, I don't know why you're wasting your time doing this. You know, I'd have people tell me that.

[Dana Gould]

Yeah, I remember Kevin, the great Kevin Rooney, the late great Kevin Rooney. Middle him at the improv in Dallas. And I was an angry young man and I given your background. Yeah, I know, it's weird. I walked off stage, it was the first time I've never worked with him. I was kind of nervous and he said, you know, the audience wants to like you, but they're waiting to see if you like them. And I would was by order of magnitude a better comedian the next show because I smiled even though I didn't feel it. And he gave me, I mean, he gave me great advice my whole career.

[Adam Carolla]

I talked to my friend of mine from high school I hadn't spoken to in a while. I got some land up in Oregon and it's next to his land.

[Dana Gould]

That's where your cult is based.

[Adam Carolla]

Selling it. Yeah, from them. Putting down stakes.

[Dana Gould]

The Karolis cult.

[Adam Carolla]

We're doing hi C. But that's fine.

[Dana Gould]

But they all get the sneakers.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. I'm gonna skim the cream off of every good cult thing and make a super cult. Yeah. So I was talking to my friend Carl on the way in and I was talking about he's got a little land. He's a schoolteacher now, lives up there and got some land next to him and selling it off and whatever. But I rem remember being in Alex Arado's kitchen with him and Alex when I was like 19, ganging up on me, going, they're both off to college. And I was hanging around, trying to get my job back at the Flask Liquor and sleeping in my parents garage and taking a unit at Valley College. And they both just confronted me in the kitchen. They were like, what's wrong with you? I don't know. I'm just kind of trying to find my way and, and they're like, you're a loser. Like, what are you doing with your life? One friend's off at Berkeley, the other one's off at Santa Barbara. I'm like, I don't know. And they're like, well, you're smart and you're funny, but you're a loser. What are you doing? You're wasting your life, man. And I was like, I don't know where to go, I don't know what to do. And they dug into me hard. And I remember going, God damn it, they're right, I'm losing. And 12 years later, I met Jimmy Kimmel and it all turned around. But I was like, wow, this is really painful because it's true. Everything they're saying is true. And they were going at it pretty hard, but I was like, they're definitely making a point and I should definitely try to get my shit together. And I don't even know what that means, but this hurts. And I'm disappointing these guys, guys, and I should get my shit together. Yeah, that's, and it came from a place of love. Kind of like they're your bros. Yeah, they, they wanted to know why their friend who they thought was kind of a smart, interesting guy, was just sort of living in a garage and working odd jobs like around, you know, and, and, and they were digging in too. Like, I mean, they were, you know, jabbing a lot. You know, there wasn't all altruistic, you know, they were, they were having their fun with me. I, I, I couldn't deny it, you know, it wasn't all from the heart, you know, it was partly, but the message was heard loud and clear. Yes, you're, you're a loser. You're not doing anything with your life. You should figure something out.

[Dana Gould]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

The big holiday beauty sale at Ulta.

[Dana Gould]

Beauty is happening now.

[Adam Carolla]

Get the best last minute gifts up to 50% off. Off shop. Can't miss deals on urban decay palettes, luxurious YSL and Armani fragrances, and the fabulous Shark dryer and styler.

[Dana Gould]

But that's not all.

[Adam Carolla]

New deals drop every week. Head to your local store or shop.

[Dana Gould]

Today@ Ulta.com get all the best gifts.

[Adam Carolla]

All at Ulta Beauty. All right, sorry.

[Dana Gould]

Hey, no.

[Adam Carolla]

Got some celebrity news. Jim Carrey took a break from Hollywood to get out of people's feet faces. Yeah, he says. Yeah, he took a break there for a while, but we're talking about it off the air. The big quote from this for me was I came back to this universe talking about sonic the Hedgehog 3 because first of all, I get to play a genius, which is a bit of a stretch. I bought a lot of stuff and I need the money, frankly. Yeah, it's a money rap, Ryan.

[Dana Gould]

Yeah, I've.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't.

[Dana Gould]

I can't imagine how he needs money.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah, you think about that, you know, because they play the Grinch. Yeah, they play the Grinch every year, you know, and so I'm sure he gets residuals from that.

[Dana Gould]

He was making 20 million a movie.

[Adam Carolla]

But maybe he stretched out far. I don't know. You buy a lot of stuff when you have.

[Dana Gould]

Didn't Nicholas Cage have like seven castles?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, Nick Cage got into like some IRS trouble. Had some castle issues. I don't know. He would buy wasn't the bones of the Elephant man, but he liked T. Rex heads and stuff like that. He liked that kind of stuff. And so he may have overextended himself a little bit. It's always funny. You were saying something funny about Jim Carrey off the air about taking the break and then coming back with Hedgehog kind of thing. And I felt that way when Jane Fonda. Jane Fonda took like 30 years off of acting. And it was always like, I just haven't found a role that's worth my time anymore. The material that spoke to me after 30 years comes back with monster in law with JLo, like the most formulaic bad early 2000s Rom com ever created. And that's what drew you back into this craft of acting. Yes. Moving on. Liberal Supreme Court justice makes a cringe cameo performance on Broadway. I think you guys should just pretty much bring this up. It speaks for itself. The written by contemporary playwright Just Katanji Brown on a Broadway and a sort of God, I don't know what call it trans or bi or whatever play non binary play called. And Juliet reimagines Juliet if she did not commit suicide and go on to be like an independent young woman. All right, we'll watch it and then I'll hit. I'll hit Dana with a quiz question.

[Dana Gould]

Oh, boy, oh, boy.

[Adam Carolla]

We got it somewhere. Give us a second.

[Dana Gould]

You know how crazy I Am About Broadway musicals.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. I love Broadway.

[Dana Gould]

Do you ever. Are you on Instagram? Do you see Broadway, Barbara?

[Adam Carolla]

No.

[Dana Gould]

Oh, I'll show it to you. It's hilarious. It's hilarious.

[Adam Carolla]

I like Miss Saigon and Wicked and all that. I'll watch all that stuff. I love all that stuff.

[Dana Gould]

The thing's crazy about Broadway musicals. Crazy about Broadway musicals. Goldthwaite.

[Adam Carolla]

Bobcat.

[Dana Gould]

Bobcat is like the cabaret poster in his house.

[Adam Carolla]

Really?

[Dana Gould]

Yeah. I will say great as an animal. Oh, man.

[Adam Carolla]

I wouldn't guess that. Yeah, that's interesting.

[Dana Gould]

No, it's crazy.

[Adam Carolla]

I will say. I will say one of the things I like about Broadway. Well, we'll. We'll play the clip.

[Dana Gould]

Just looking at this clip, this is bad.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Dana Gould]

Female empowerment.

[Adam Carolla]

Sick. I like it too. I think what I like about it.

[Dana Gould]

Is that I am having a very strongly negative reaction to it.

[Adam Carolla]

Like, I hate it, which makes me think it must be brilliant.

[Dana Gould]

What is happening? Got this feeling in my body.

[Adam Carolla]

It got super woke. But. So, okay, I'm gonna give you this quiz question. I watched this clip earlier this morning when I was a guest on Megyn Kelly's show. Do you think that a part of.

[Dana Gould]

The segment Megan Spank Bank?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, they're all. Do you think she applauded this? Now hear me out. Or took umbrage with it? The great Megan Kelly?

[Dana Gould]

No, I don't. I don't know if there's anything to take umbrage to, but.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow, you don't know Megan Kelly?

[Dana Gould]

No, I don't. But it's an I. We probably voted for different people. Yeah, but it's an eye roller. Like, I'm not, like, I'm pretty. I'm pretty in the middle of stuff.

[Adam Carolla]

Listen, I don't want to sound old fashioned, but I do like the Broadway of yore. You know, a sort of traditional Broadway. You can have newer themes and twists and things like that, but once you just go full woke, if you go wake, if you go woke and sort of trans and gay and whatever for the sake of that, then I don't want to do it. If it's part of your story, then that's fine. But I also, I like Broadway because I think it's sort of humans at their best. And I'm not talking about woke shit. I'm just talking about a traditional Broadway play. You have all these different people and an orchestra. I mean, if you really take it and you just go, why is this country great? And also, I don't think there's any equivalent of this in the Middle East. And I think they suffer for it. What I'm saying is, first somebody builds the theater, physically builds a beautiful palace for this. Then somebody writes it and writes the music and there's the promoters and there's everything. Then there's all the actors who study. Then there's the orchestra. People been playing the oboe since they were six years old. All different ages, all different backgrounds, all different genders, all different races. And they all come together and they create this beautiful machinery, the Swiss timepiece of timing and music and laughter and pathos. And I go, that's, this is human. Like if I'm talking to an alien race, yeah. And they go, I want to see us that are worse. I'll go, all right, let me take you down and I'll take you to a Walmart. I'll take you. No, take you to a tunnel in Hamas. You can see this is us. This is what we're capable of. And that four year old was abducted. You know what I mean? That's it. You want to see us at our best? Here we go, right?

[Dana Gould]

No, I remember seeing the Book of Mormon, right? And that first giant number where they're all stepping up and stepping down. I was like, I can't. Not only can I not do that, I can't imagine how someone can do that, right? Like if you ever see like Cirque du Soleil, like one of those huge crazy, like, oh, like those crazy Cirque du Soleil shows, like, I am at a loss, right? But yeah, I don't, here's an example. And I said, this is somebody like, you know, my, I don't watch Megyn Kelly, but there was an article in the paper about an actress from Oppenheimer and her name is like Eve Bennett or something. But she in her private life wants to be known as Noah and she identifies as trans, masculine, non binary. And my whole reaction is, so, yeah, why do I have to know?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I, I, no, I, I like corn chips, right?

[Dana Gould]

That's me.

[Adam Carolla]

That's me.

[Dana Gould]

Does that have to be in the paper?

[Adam Carolla]

No, it's not on my license plate frame. It's nothing. Yes. There's way I feel that way about most of life, which is why do I need to know?

[Dana Gould]

Yes. Oh, great. Good for her. Great. I don't care. And I say, and by the way, I think most people to think this way. I don't say I don't care. Like f you.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dana Gould]

I mean, like, literally, I don't. Good.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't care. Well, I don't care about Your sexuality, regardless of what it is. If you're hetero.

[Dana Gould]

Yeah, I don't care.

[Adam Carolla]

Or whatever you are. That's sort of none of my business. And I'm not, I'm not that interested.

[Dana Gould]

And isn't that what you want?

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Dana Gould]

Don't you, don't you want to just be a person?

[Adam Carolla]

But I also think they want to project it and be able to be in that space. Like kind of step into your mind.

[Dana Gould]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

And make you change your mind.

[Dana Gould]

Recognize my specialness. And I can see that if you're, if you are somebody that is, you know, that society victimizes, that's a whole different.

[Adam Carolla]

No, I think that's the whole premise. I think that's the whole premise is that they feel non binary so they have to announce.

[Dana Gould]

But people don't. By and large, human beings do not like radical change. And it always has to be done in a way that you don't see it.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Dana Gould]

Feel it. Otherwise there's a knee jerk reaction to oppose change.

[Adam Carolla]

Agree.

[Dana Gould]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

All right.

[Dana Gould]

Grant Cardone fight in the street.

[Adam Carolla]

It's going to come on. He's an entrepreneur, he's an author. He's a very interesting guy. I'm gonna talk about financial literacy. Dana. Now I got the podcast the Dana Gouldauer and we got the live dates here. But this is Dr. Z presents Christmas with a Z that I'm such a fan of. Bill Hader, by the way. So funny, so quietly funny. And I'm gonna say a lot of characters.

[Dana Gould]

We had a Barry and then we had a Barry reunion because Steven Root was in the audience and he came up and joined us for a while.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, he's great too.

[Dana Gould]

He's a crazy genius.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. Yes.

[Dana Gould]

Him and O brother, where art thou?

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Dana Gould]

Oh my God.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. So live dates and tickets and we can stream it. How do we do that?

[Dana Gould]

Go to Dana Gould on Instagram or anywhere and you'll see. Link in the bio. That's probably the easiest way to get it.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, we're gonna have Grant Cardone zoom in and we'll do that right after this. All Family Pharmacy. Write that name down. All Family Pharmacy. All about medical freedom and making healthcare simple, accessible and stress free. Looking for some ivermectin? How about some hydroxychloroquine? How about some mebendazole or other essential medications. Stock up on Ivermectin starting at just three bucks a capsule. So when the next poop goes down, you're ready. Customize your order and get it shipped in two to four days. They even offer bulk ordering to stock up for a full year. The best part is you do not need to see a doctor. Trusted by families since 2019, offering over 200 medications online. Don't wait for the next emergency. Stay safe, stay prepared. Visit AllFamilyPharma.com Adam do it today. Once again, that's AllFamilyPharma.com Adam Pluto TV is a place for movie fans like.

[Dana Gould]

Me and TV fans like me.

[Adam Carolla]

They've got something for everyone and it's free.

[Dana Gould]

I love movie and I love Jersey Shore. For me, it's the Godfather, SpongeBob SquarePants. I am Patrick. Patrick is me. Oh, Forrest Gump, come on, Criminal minds. Solving crime after bedtime, whatever you love to watch.

[Adam Carolla]

Pluto TV makes it easy with thousands of free movies and shows.

[Dana Gould]

Pluto TV stream now, pay never.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, oh. O'Reilly Auto Parts. O'Reilly Auto Parts is in the business of keeping your car in the road. They offer friendly, helpful service and parts and knowledge that you're going to need to maintain and do the repairs yourself. I've always used O'Reilly. I've used to hit the one up on Foothill when I was in La Crescento renting a house, keeping that Isuzu Trooper on the road. And they got thousands of parts and accessories in stock either in their store or online. So you, well, you don't have to worry. If you're in a jam, you can go online and get your stuff. You can go into a store and get your stuff. The team at O'Reilly Auto Parts can test your battery for free in or out of your car, which is nice because sometimes it's tough to get those babies out of the car. Need your windshield wipers replaced, brake light fixed or a quick service? Well, they'll help you find the right part or point you to the nearest local repair shop and as well and get help there. Whether you're a car aficionado or an auto novice, you're going to find the employees at O'Reilly Auto Parts are knowledgeable, helpful and best of all, they're friendly. The professional parts people at O'Reilly O'Reilly Auto Parts one stop shop for everything, especially if you're a do it yourselfer for your car in store online, you can stop by O'Reilly Auto Parts and do it today or visit us online. Online. O'reillyauto.com Adam that's o'reillyauto.com Adam Gum on sidewalks, bums on sidewalks, illegal selling ice.

[Dana Gould]

Cream, freeway signs with barbed wire and.

[Adam Carolla]

Graffiti.

[Dana Gould]

Traffic crawling clunkers stalling backed up mile after mile. So on every podcast, you will hear.

[Adam Carolla]

Adam Yale, Adam Yale.

[Dana Gould]

L, A, C. Such a piece of shit city.

[Adam Carolla]

Adam Yell.

[Dana Gould]

Adam Yell, Adam Yell. One day you just move.

[Adam Carolla]

Away. Well, Grant Cardone is our guest. Zooming in. He's an entrepreneur, he's a teacher, he's a mentor. He's got a lot of interesting things going on. Considering running for governor of California. That'd be nice. And we can talk about other ventures as well. Good to see you, Grant.

[Grant Cardone]

Good to see you, Adam.

[Dana Gould]

I love.

[Grant Cardone]

I love the song. Did you write those lyrics yourself?

[Adam Carolla]

No, I simply inspire people.

[Grant Cardone]

Well, I tell you, I moved away 12 years ago. I was forced out of the state. State. Because they're so unfriendly to business owners and entrepreneurs and people that are paying taxes.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes, I know it. I. I know it. They're. They're easy on crime, but they're tough on taxpayers. And.

[Grant Cardone]

Yeah, they are.

[Adam Carolla]

And they really are. And I. I talk about this all the time. I would say, you know, the city, you know Forest Lawn Drive. Drive goes along Forest Lawn, right between the studio and Forest Law Lawn. On one side of the street, there's a bunch of illegals selling flowers under the table, undercutting the brick and mortar places that are selling flowers. Totally legal. Black market boom. On the other side of the street is a cop and a motorcycle cop with a radar gun trying to bust taxpayers that are going four miles an hour faster than the posted speed limit. That's it. If you want to know in a nutshell, Shell, what encapsulates Los Angeles and California, that's it. The law is trying to give a ticket to the taxpayer and totally turning a blind eye to the folks on the other side of the street.

[Grant Cardone]

You got a shortage of housing, and then they let millions of people come in that don't have a house.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. So, I mean, here's the question, and I don't want to go over my schemes, but people are, like, genuinely excited about the potential of Trump and. The potential of Trump. Meaning. And I've been screaming about it ever since they put a microphone in front of my face 30 years ago. I just want to run it like a business. Just get some guy in there who can cut deals and make businesses. It's such a waste. What are we doing? You know what I mean? Why are we leaving so much money on the table? Let's get it together. Whatever works. And. And for the first time ever, and maybe because we hit our saturation point with Biden and Harrison, Gavin Newsom and all the other fuck ups. At some point, even my normal sort of democratic left leaning friends are kind of going, yeah, maybe we should cut some of this stuff and be more efficient. Like, maybe there's a renaissance here. Maybe there's a time for someone like you, Grant.

[Grant Cardone]

Maybe, you know, I mean, the state's got to get to the place where it wants change. And I think a lot of people, I lived there 25 years. I moved from Texas where I paid 0%, had businesses there, moved to California because I love the state. I mean, it's beautiful, unbelievable resources, probably the greatest resource this country has. And there I started paying 10%, lived there 25 years. I had no problem with 10%. And then they yanked to 1313. Now they want to go to 14.4. And it's not just the raising of the taxes, this wasting of the money. It's not like they're doing anything better with the roads or the schools. It's deteriorated.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Grant Cardone]

And so I. Never mind. I never complained. Adam, one time in 25 years of the taxes I paid, I thought it was a fair trade. And then they spiked again. We moved everything. We sold the house, we sold our cars, the businesses moved to Florida. That has cost the state one taxpayer. And I'm just one of many millions of people that have left the state that cost the state a billion dollars in tax revenue. One person, you, that didn't count Elon leaving or Toyota that left 15 years ago. And this is just going to continue to go on. I mean, look, look, Arizona has been the biggest recipient, benefitter, benefactor of the California, California craziness, the insanity. And so the way to fix it is with simple math. You know, you basically start incentivizing people to take care or handle the affordable housing thing. There's no affordable housing there. You cannot build it with government regulations. I was doing a, a debate with Bill, what's his name from New York, the loser from New York, Bill de Blasio. Yeah, like his, his solution to the housing thing is more Section 8, bro. Nobody wants to live in Section 8 housing. Yeah, housing has to come, become affordable again for the middle class. You can't even figure that out, by the way.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, Grant, when you say the loser from New York, you're going to have to narrow it down a little bit.

[Dana Gould]

You're right, you're right, you're right.

[Grant Cardone]

You see, same problem over there. These guys, Illinois, New York, California, they all adopt these crazy, crazy regulations.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. Well, they don't, okay? They're not in touch with Reality. I mean, when I was. You can't do basic math 100%. But if we can find Dawson, the clip of Jane Fonda, who was on Bill Maher show a week and a half ago on his podcast. She encapsulated those people perfectly. Which is. Is. I've interviewed Gavin Newsom and I've heard Gavin Newsom on shows. I really don't think he knows what's going on. And I know that sounds insane that he doesn't know what's going on, but I don't think he really does understand what's going on. Or maybe he's in some sort of denial about it. But when you can watch this clip of Jane Fonda and Jane Fonda just sort of represents everyone in California who's making decisions. I'm not gonna say the average Californian. I'm gonna say the people in charge of California. Listen to Bill Maher and listen to her answers. You really don't believe that the state.

[Dana Gould]

We live in California is lacking regulation.

[Adam Carolla]

There's over 300,000 thousand regulations. I mean I once.

[Dana Gould]

Well, maybe they're needed.

[Adam Carolla]

They're not. When I tried to put in a.

[Dana Gould]

Garage door, I had to have three inspections. There should have been none.

[Adam Carolla]

I should be allowed to change my garage door.

[Dana Gould]

Are you kidding? Really? It was about a garage door?

[Adam Carolla]

Absolutely. I'm sorry. Yeah.

[Dana Gould]

That is.

[Adam Carolla]

No. You know this about California? No, I don't.

[Dana Gould]

Well, I'm sorry, I don't.

[Adam Carolla]

You don't? You've never heard that California is over taxed and over regulated.

[Dana Gould]

Regulated.

[Adam Carolla]

That we are. We are a one party state where there's sort of no checks on that sort of extreme leftism and that. Why do you think I don't for.

[Dana Gould]

A minute consider California a state that is extreme leftist?

[Adam Carolla]

Not at all.

[Dana Gould]

Not any way.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, that shows where your politics are. That's not where. All right, so he says there's 300,000 regulations and she just goes, they're not needed. I think she represents like the Los Angeles City Council and Sacramento and Gavin Newsom and Karen Bass and their ilk and they think they can fix it with more regulations.

[Grant Cardone]

When's the last time she had a job? Let's see, when's the last time that she hired anyone?

[Adam Carolla]

Barbarella2 in 1970.

[Grant Cardone]

And Mara needs to get. He needs to get his jacket sleeves cut a little longer because there's like that much cuff or just not worth it at all.

[Adam Carolla]

He's already shopping in the junior department. So there's nothing he can do.

[Grant Cardone]

Yeah, look the fact that, the fact that she doesn't know there's 300,000 regulations means she should not be speaking on politics. I mean, she has the right to do whatever she wants. But this is, this is the math part.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, it's not that she doesn't understand there's 300,000 regulations. She understands it and says, good, maybe there'll be more. That's really who these people are. Now here's the hopeful news. If Trump does whatever Trump is gonna do, and I think it's gonna work if he does that. The other satellites, like California, Oregon, Washington, these places, places, maybe Illinois, you know, these places are going to have to go. Maybe these guys know something like, maybe we should adopt some of this and try to save our state.

[Grant Cardone]

But, but you wonder, I mean, they're watching California's watching Texas grow, they're watching Florida grow. Miami's going to become a freaking Mecca. New York City's watching Miami grow, grow at rates we've never seen. We've had more immigrant or migrant influence flux from California. In Florida, we never had that. I mean, we're hitting record levels of Californians moving all the way into this humidity, right, that was prohibited in the past. Like, nobody would leave your beautiful, no humidity state to come to Florida. Now they are, they're going to Texas where it's flat, no mountains, no beauty, no aesthetics. They're moving into hurricane seasons because. Because the state of California is running people off. They're unfriendly to business and they're friendly to illegals.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, no, I get it. And so sadly, you have to hit your sort of bottom and a saturation level. So it would be nice if people would have figured out which way the wind was blowing 15 or 20 years ago and say, let's stop this before hit our bottom. But apparently we have to hit our bottom. And as we near our bottom, it is in tandem with an example of what could work. You know, Joe Biden and his ilk and his cabinet and Kamala Harris, we see what they're doing and then you see what California's doing and you go, there's really not any real difference between his fuck ups and our fuck ups. But if you saw an example of somebody who was out there getting it and crushing it, and we're starting to see that. We see it in Texas, we see it in Florida. If we saw it on a national level, then maybe that would inspire some change.

[Grant Cardone]

Well, I think they're angry. I think California, all my friends that are still there, they're angry and they're starting to see it hit their pocketbooks. I think you guys are going to 14.4%. That'll piss some more people off. Your gas tax is going to go to $2 a gallon and 30, I think it is. So for every gallon you buy, there'll be an extra two dollar tax. That'll be fun for everybody there. And then the people will stand up and they'll start. They'll do what the country just yet, which is they're going to vote their pocketbooks.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Grant Cardone]

Unfortunately, wealthy. The wealthy have already been walking out of California. We're hacking the system. I'll admit I'm a hacker. I left and I still visit. I still have a home. Home there. I don't pay any tax, but I come use your resources like it's a. It's a prostitute.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, thank you. We have a.

[Grant Cardone]

No tipping either.

[Adam Carolla]

Zero tipping. No. I didn't even get a towel.

[Grant Cardone]

Abuse your roads, your, your grocery stores, your, your Malibu. All the beauty and I just walk out. I live there 180 days and I leave.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, no, listen, I don't blame you though. The roads, I don't know, they're so. I don't know. The joke may be on you, but there is a great clip speaking to this that we play once a year of Gavin Newsom talking to Kara Swisher. I think it's the radio show. We have it somewhere. It's about three years old, maybe four years old. But he doesn't understand what's going on and he's busy giving speeches, talking about protecting California from Trump. Trump, when everyone wants Trump. That's what we voted for, which is kind of insane. I know you're thinking about running for governor. That would be nice. It'd be nice if we had someone who knew how to run a business, running the business of California. But I'll play this clip and the reason it's. I find, find it fascinating and sort of dumbfounding is this is four years ago, maybe five, and Kara Swisher is saying people are leaving. What's the plan? And you can listen to his response.

[Dana Gould]

Former Governor Brown said it best.

[Grant Cardone]

Where the hell are you going to go?

[Dana Gould]

And I love Texas, don't get me wrong.

[Adam Carolla]

Is that the new California motto? Where the hell are you going to go?

[Dana Gould]

I don't know, but he said it.

[Adam Carolla]

But it was an interesting point because.

[Dana Gould]

Where are you going to get so many of the other things in the balance?

[Adam Carolla]

She are aware that I've lived there for two decades, essentially, and this is the first time I've had people really.

[Dana Gould]

Talking about not being there and not.

[Adam Carolla]

That they could figure it out somewhere else. I don't think that's true.

[Dana Gould]

I think they can figure out where.

[Adam Carolla]

They'Re going to go and then that meets. But it's not a zero sum game. Right. Okay. I have a friend who just went to Utah. Beautiful. Maybe the right thing for. For him.

[Dana Gould]

They've made a ton of money. They have the ability to take their.

[Adam Carolla]

Kids out of public school into private.

[Dana Gould]

School, and they're doing that. And, you know, they. I imagine they're not going to turn their back forever on California.

[Adam Carolla]

Did you get what that answer was?

[Grant Cardone]

No place to go. Like he's never traveled.

[Adam Carolla]

People are leaving California.

[Grant Cardone]

690,000 people left last year.

[Adam Carolla]

Right, Right.

[Grant Cardone]

But if they earn $120,000 a year, it's $82 billion of revenue. If it's just income, not spending, not groceries, not cars, nothing.

[Adam Carolla]

I know. I was there.

[Grant Cardone]

I was. I have a home in Malibu and I was at the. I've never been interested in Tesla. And we happen to be in that little grove right there in Malibu, and they have a Tesla shop there.

[Adam Carolla]

And this was. I live in Malibu, so I know. Well, how'd you do with the fire, by the way?

[Grant Cardone]

Oh, I wasn't there for the fire, so I know.

[Adam Carolla]

Sorry. How did your dwelling do with the fire? Okay. Yeah.

[Grant Cardone]

So I'm wandering in the little market there, and this is Elon starting to get a lot of heat for supporting Trump. I walked into the Tesla store, I said, hey, tell me about your cars. They tell me about the cars. I said, are you getting some flap from the left? He's like, yeah. Every day we have somebody walk in here and say, here's my keys. I can't support Elon Musk anymore. I said, I'll buy two cars right now.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Grant Cardone]

That's what's going to happen. People are going to support. They're going to vote. And this is what happened with Trump. Trump pulled this thing off. It's going to be good for everybody. You got some super wealthy guys. I mean, these guys are super wealthy, very successful. They're going to go into D.C. and they're going to shake this thing up. And if they pull it off, I think the first 90 days, Adam is going to be phenomenal. I think it's going to shock the world. I've talked to Bake about it and some of the other guys over there, and the plans are to shake this thing up big time.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Yeah. So My question is, and I agree, and I anticipate that as well, I don't think Trump could do it in his first. Yeah. Season. Season.

[Grant Cardone]

The country wasn't ready the first time.

[Adam Carolla]

The country wasn't ready. He wasn't ready. He didn't know what he was up against. He didn't know how deep the state was and how many embedded people were in there and the FBI and the CIA. He did not know how putrid and deep the state ran. And he, I think, naively assumed that everybody around him was cheering for him and wanted what was best for him and the country, and they certainly did not. And that covered a lot. And he learned his lesson also. He was running for a second term. So you would have to handle Covid and other things, other events in a way that was more palatable, suitable to the mainstream than what guys like you and I probably would have liked, because we do not represent the majority of the voters in this country. Now, his eyes are wide open. He understands the deep state, and he's not burdened by a popularity contest known as the second term.

[Grant Cardone]

Agree. But I don't agree with the majority. I think you and I do represent the majority.

[Adam Carolla]

Now. I'm saying now, I can tell you I did not represent the majority of people who spoke about COVID in California when I was giving my opinions and being shouted down constantly. So I felt like he had to steer it toward the middle of the road. He also came in with the mistaken premise that he would be liked if he did a good job and the New York Times would write glowing reviews about his presidency and so forth. That pipe dream is long gone. There's no more New York Times and CNN and wanting to be the toast of the New York elite or anything. That's an illusion. That's gone. When you give up the gilded cage of wanting to be liked, it frees you up. It frees you you up in terms of policy. It frees you up to speak about COVID It frees you up to do comedy. It frees you up to run a business like it is freeing when you stop caring how many people like you.

[Grant Cardone]

Yeah, 100%. If they admire you and react to it, if they hate you, you react to it. And I think he had that deficit that first time. I don't think he has that. I agree with you completely. He doesn't have that this time. I think he's driven by ego, though, that he wants to write history now.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Grant Cardone]

He wants to go down as one of these historical characters in American history. That changed. This MAGA thing is bigger than Trump now. It did not have the legs, the energy or the fuel 10 years ago that it has today. It's a movement all by itself. I don't think you kill it. I think it grows, it gets stronger. Maybe MAGA in California becomes Make California California.

[Adam Carolla]

I agree. I've been here my entire life and I remember when it wasn't this way. And also, you know, when you say driven by ego. Look, I'm a rams fan. Sean McVay's the coach. He has a bit of an ego on him. And if his ego is directly correlated to how many games he can win in a season and how many Super Bowls he can win win, then as a Rams fan, I'm fine with him expressing his ego. Yeah. As long as his ego means what's best for the Rams, then go ahead, get off on your ego. Sean McVeigh.

[Grant Cardone]

Yeah, exactly. If that's the fuel he needs to be historical now.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Grant Cardone]

He's only got one term, so he doesn't have anybody to please now.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I don't. You know, maybe I'm being Pollyanna ish, but I think Trump's gonna kick ass. I certainly know has to compared to Biden, who was anemic and all his appointees were insane. And it's going to be real easy to outdo the last administration and then I assume JD Vance will pick it up because our country's going to want more of the same after that. And I see J.D. vance for eight years and Trump for four years, but then where's that leave our beloved Gavin Newsom? Some. And he's going to term out here in 26. And how so. And then how do you fit into that equation?

[Grant Cardone]

Well, I don't know how I fit in exactly right now.

[Adam Carolla]

Let me.

[Grant Cardone]

Let me tell you one thing I am concerned about. I'm concerned about Rick Caruso because he's more of the same. He'll try to run, but he's more the same, I think. Didn't he run as a Democrat for mayor?

[Adam Carolla]

He did run for mayor. I do not know Rick Caruso, but anybody would be better than Karen Beckman. I would say the current mayor.

[Grant Cardone]

Yeah, yeah, I agree with that, too.

[Adam Carolla]

And he ran as a Democrat because.

[Grant Cardone]

And he's not a Democrat. No, and that's what. That's what my point was, Adam. The people could see the bullshit now.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Grant Cardone]

Seeing through the bullshit.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, far be for me to defend Rick Caruso, who I do not know. But California and la, I should say Especially initially, if you don't put a D in front of your name, you don't stand a chance. So I don't know if you can call that a sellout because you've eliminated your chances of being elected if you ran as a Republican.

[Grant Cardone]

I know, but I just think he was in the in between place at that time. It was the timing. In politics, it's timing like the people have to be ready. No matter what the policies are, the ideas are. If the people aren't ready to eat the sand sandwich, there's no reason to bring it to the table. So the people are ready. Now. California will have to get frustrated. If not, these other red states will continue to be the victors of the spoils and mistakes of the politicians of California.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, you know what I always I find interesting is when they do understand the concept, concept of making it more hospitable to businesses and attracting the business community and the revenues they bring. And I'll give you an example. Hollywood, they got very greedy and production fled. And all Hollywood was, was sort of a microcosm of the populace of California, which is, we'll pay a little extra to have all the beautiful topography. But you want to start gouging us and we'll go to Atlanta and film, or we'll go to New Mexico and film, we'll go to Prague, New Orleans, we'll go everywhere and film and Los Angeles. And so Hollywood, the most progressive group in the country, Hollywood gladly gets up and leaves. I mean, I was doing. Doing a show in Canada many years ago in Winnipeg. And up the hall. Up the hall, yeah. In the middle of winter. And up the hall was Samuel L. Jackson. And he was at that hotel for four months. And what were they doing? They were shooting a movie that was supposed to take place in Chicago, but they were trading out Winnipeg for Chicago. And Samuel L. Jackson is the most progressive guy in the world. The guy that would yell at everyone, pay your fair share. Los Angeles this and Hollywood that. That guy gets on an airplane and splits in two minutes and goes off to Winnipeg to give Canada the money so somebody could shave a couple of points off the production. Fine. They understood it. They found out fleeing productions and then they had press conferences saying, sorry, we understand we're going to make things a little more enticing now and we're gonna give you motivation to not flee. We want you to do your productions here in Los Angeles, here in California, because they saw all the revenue was leaving and they saw that unless they entice people to come back through just numbers that they were gonna continue to leave and they didn't like that. So they get it. I mean, it's not that difficult a concept. But they've already implemented this concept concept in the most blue bastion of California, Hollywood. So why don't they just take that model and sort of spread it out over the state?

[Grant Cardone]

With the exception brain, the agenda has to be to return California to its greatness.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Grant Cardone]

Which would be a very fast state. The government has to move, move fast. The regulations have to be lowered. The idea that, that you have three permits or three inspections for a garage, that's a real deal. That's happening. It's completely ridiculous.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Grant Cardone]

You have plenty of housing in America in California. Plenty of housing in California to solve all the housing problems. If they put business people in place, by the way, without spending a penny in taxpayer dollars or getting anything like regulated or approved or inspected or even built, you could solve about 1.4 million unlivable situations in California today simply by being creative, taking the unoccupied housing that exists and giving people incentives to fill that housing up.

[Adam Carolla]

I completely agree. But it's not going to be by a career bureaucrat who's just trying to sort of make friends and push paper around. You're gonna need somebody who takes care of business, who lives in that world. And I don't know why it's not abundantly obvious. You have a group of people that have never had a job in the private sector. I mean, when I was sort of taking account of they can't get a.

[Grant Cardone]

Job in the private sector.

[Adam Carolla]

No, no. But what are they gonna do?

[Grant Cardone]

Right?

[Adam Carolla]

I was thinking, thinking about, I said several months ago on this podcast, Joe Biden, Kamala Harris, tim waltz together. 200 years of employment, none in the private sector. They've literally not a day. Yeah, there was a fourth person in there, but they literally are. Was basically 150 years and not one of them had a job in the private sector. Why should they be running anything? That was the pitch. Their pitch was Kamala Harris, who's never had a job, maybe at McDonald's, I don't know. We can't seem to verify that Tim Walls has never had a job. These guys outside in the private sector.

[Grant Cardone]

I think he was a teacher. A teacher coach. So we'll give him, we'll give him for having some coach of job.

[Adam Carolla]

But no, I'm not saying never been employed. I'm saying teacher job is not exactly the private sector. It's what you do when you don't Want to compete in the private sector. It's a little slice of socialism here in the United States. Don't get me started. My point is this. Why should these people be making decisions?

[Grant Cardone]

And the issue is, on the flip side of that, Adam, is a guy like me that's in business making money in business, being rewarded by being in business, having the freedom of doing whatever I want, when I. I want. Why would I go into the government situation? Because I can't get anything done right. So the timing has to be right. And Trump's timing is phenomenal. Okay, the timing was right for him the first time he ran. He missed it the second time because of the. The chaos of COVID I'm concerned about that. I'm concerned about what's going on in New Jersey right now. This some black swan event that's being organized to disrupt and derail his plan. Plans for the first three months of his term and put him into complete chaos.

[Adam Carolla]

I mean, we would be naive if we didn't think something was being planned. I've never. The one thing I do know is they do not go quietly into the night and take their loss. So it feels really tranquil now, like, oh, they lost and it was a fair election and they accept it. And many voices in the Democratic side have not been defiant. They've been, look, we made mistakes. We got out of touch. We used to be the party of the working class. Now we're not anymore. And we need to reel it in with the trans talk and all the crazy talk. And I go, yeah, good. Yeah, good. But they've never quietly gone anywhere. They're not laying down right now something, yes, being be prepared for some event that completely brings us back to Russiagate. Steele dossier, like, whatever. They're not going to circle back to Russia because they've been to that trough too many times. But something that should catch us all. Yes, that's right, 100%.

[Grant Cardone]

I mean, give him a problem bigger than what he can so that it throws off his execution plans. This is what happens in business anyway. I want to throw my competitor off. I want to give him more, more problems over here than he can, than he can handle. So he can't compete with me at another level. Gives me a gap in the marketplace. And I think that that's. That could be what's happened in New Jersey. We know what the drones we. They have to know what those drones are. Those are our drones. That's our machinery, our equipment. It's flying at night using infrared. It's gone in the daytime, because the infrared doesn't work in the daytime. So there's something they're not telling us. There's nothing you need to know. Adam.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, everything.

[Dana Gould]

Everything fine.

[Grant Cardone]

Sounds like Covid, right?

[Adam Carolla]

Biden's response recently when asked about it was a combination of it's nothing and gibberish. Like, really, if you read a transcript of the last nine words that came out of his mouth, it wouldn't even be anything. I think we might be able to find it. Dog and I saw it on Megyn Kelly's show today, but it was at night and he was outside and it was one of those, well, what's going on with the drones? And he sort of gave the there's no problem with the drones. Which I don't know why anyone would believe anything Biden said at this stage. And not only this stage, but with his track record of I've never talked to my son about business ever, and all this kind of stuff. But it does make you kind of wonder what's the plan? Because the deep state is pretty invested in status quo. And breaking up the status quo is going to upset a lot of people and it's going to cost a lot of people a lot of money and they will not go out without a fight.

[Grant Cardone]

$24 trillion.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Grant Cardone]

Four years. 24 trillion if we just count the money that circulated in the United States of America. There's so much graft, so much corruption. When you look at Nancy Pelosi, who's been in politics for what, 40 years, making $179,000 a year, she walks away with $250 million. If you do the math on that, she would have had to been born before the great pyramids were built.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, no, she's got her two side by side sub zero giant walk in stainless steel refrigerators were worth more than the first three houses I lived in. I think this is the clip of him saying nothing to see here mixed with a little gibberish at the end. Nothing nefarious apparently, but they're checking it all out. I think it's just one.

[Dana Gould]

There's a lot of drones authorized up there.

[Adam Carolla]

I think one started and they all got.

[Grant Cardone]

Everybody wanted to get in the deal.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know what he said.

[Grant Cardone]

A lot of drones authorized.

[Adam Carolla]

I think a lot of drones authorized. And one drone got there. And everyone, everyone wants rest to get in the deal. Joe, don't start a podcast when you retire. Joe, I tell everyone start a podcast. There's one guy, there's one famous guy. I'm Gonna say, do not start a podcast. And that'll be talking gibberish with Joe. Cuz I don't even know what the end was. But that was him just saying, they.

[Grant Cardone]

Know what it is, they know what it is. The American public deserve to know. And again, they're gonna keep doing this stuff and the people are gonna become more and more hostile. The people are going to become more and more demanding of transparency, authenticity, truth. Hey, validate accountability. I want to see how your plan works. When Kamala was saying she was going to build 3 million houses, they didn't tell people it will cost 10 trillion.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Grant Cardone]

And they didn't tell people that it's never been done in history.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Grant Cardone]

And they didn't tell people it'd take 10 or 12 years to do it if you could pull it off. So the people are going to start demanding, I believe Adam, hopefully the state of California is going to start demanding. Show me some receipts, seats, how you're gonna do it because you've done it before.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, it's starting. You know, I see memes about Gavin Newsom's on year 20 of his 10 year plan to get rid of homelessness. And they spent $24 billion in the past several years with no accountability and more homelessness now. Like at some point dumb people will hit their saturation level. Smart people, people figure things out before dumb people and they don't want to tolerate it early. Guys like yourself, you moved out. Dumber people have to really wait until they are a victim of violent crime before they can actually want more police and a non source related DA and things like that. A lot of people literally need to physically be pistol whipped before they go what's going on around here? And we're sort of at that point in California where people are just being pistol whipped. But sadly we have to get to that. Like that's the sad part. And I don't know why we have to bottom out, but evidently we have to.

[Grant Cardone]

The drug addicts got to bottom out. The alcoholics got to bottom out. The gambling addicts got to bottom out. The marriage, marriage has to bottom out. Unfortunately, you guys have. California has so many unbelievable resources, it's actually, you know, it's hard to bottom out because God damn weather so beautiful all the time.

[Adam Carolla]

I agree. No, I agree. We, I sort of look at us as, you know, I think people that came before us used to just think you could dump on unyielding or endless amount of sewage into the river and then into the sea. You could just keep dumping raw Sewage in it. It would never go bad. Like it was so vast and the sea was so great that it would just absorb endless amounts of, just from factories, from cities, just literally. And that's sort of true, but at some point fish start floating up to the top and that's kind of where we're at. California feels like it can absorb an endless amount of homeless and an endless amount of illegals and an endless amount of white flight or rich people heading to Texas and Florida. We can just, whatever you can throw at us, we can absorb it because of how grand we are and how vast we are and how beautiful we are. But at a certain point the fish start floating. Yeah.

[Grant Cardone]

And that's what's happening now, right?

[Adam Carolla]

That's the way I see it.

[Grant Cardone]

I, I, I was in San Diego and I lived there 15 years. I couldn't believe what they did to that city. Just in the last six years.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, that's what I, this beautiful city.

[Grant Cardone]

We have in this country and, and, and downtown's destroyed. They spent hundreds of billions of dollars down there building their infrastructure and the new buildings and housing. And then they approved homeless shipping shelter across the street from the stadium.

[Adam Carolla]

Right? Yeah. I know it's sad. The sad part is it's self inflicted wound.

[Grant Cardone]

Somebody signed off on it. Exactly. Somebody said, yeah, this is a good idea.

[Adam Carolla]

I know it's one thing a tsunami, typhoon, hurricane, sort of force majeure kind of stuff. Earthquake. All we've done is all self inflicted, inflicted. That's the crazy part. Before I let you go, this is interesting to me. The first ever bitcoin real estate fund which I find interesting. Tell us about that grant.

[Grant Cardone]

Yeah, so I own a company that democratizes institutional quality real estate. I do this with regular people. I consider you a regular person, by the way. Thank you, famous regular person. But I have about $5 billion worth of real estate in apartment complexes. None in California anymore because we sold it all.

[Adam Carolla]

Sure.

[Grant Cardone]

But we allow regular investors to invest alongside my money and my deals. We don't go to big banks. Bank of America, Goldman Sachs, JP Morgan, Wall street, they're all out of the deals. But I buy their assets. High quality, institutional. We just started a fund where I added bitcoin to the purple purchase. And we'll take a very safe investment like these real estate investments that return 5 or 6% a year and turn that into something that does 30 or 40% a year. By combining, we're basically buying bitcoin from the cash flow of the real estate. And at the three year mark, it Looks almost like that we got our bitcoin for free.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow.

[Grant Cardone]

If we hit our assumptions. So I've been studying Bitcoin for seven. I'm 66 years old. I'm a little older than you, so. So I'm slow to move on new ideas. I've been studying bitcoin for about seven years, but investing in real estate for 40. And I'm going to put the two together and it's going to be, I believe, a revolution in investing for real estate investors. Taking the best of an old world asset, real estate, and combining it with the new world asset called bitcoin.

[Adam Carolla]

That's a really provocative and interesting idea. I should tell people. You can go to now. Cardonecapital.com news Bitcoin.

[Grant Cardone]

Yeah, they want to check out what we're doing there.

[Adam Carolla]

I think that's really interesting. Grant, next time you're in Malibu, hit me up because I'm up the street. And we'll just go to Lucky.

[Grant Cardone]

You can't tell me the address, but just tell me. I'm on Carbon Beach.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm across or near Duke. Okay, good.

[Grant Cardone]

I pass by.

[Dana Gould]

Of course.

[Grant Cardone]

I pass there all the time.

[Adam Carolla]

Take an electric bike ride away and we'll go to Lucky's and get a martini and talk about the state of the union.

[Grant Cardone]

I love that.

[Adam Carolla]

It's great to see you, my friend.

[Grant Cardone]

Thank you. Thanks, Adam. Good seeing you, Grant.

[Adam Carolla]

Cardone, everybody. All right. And then there's Dana Gould. And you can listen to the Dana Gould Hour and the Podcast of El, available on Apple, Podcasts, Spotify. And he's got dates coming up. Shoot him. Go to his website, danacould.com. how about that? I'm going to be in Vegas. I'm going to be in Solana Beach. I'm going to be in Covina. I'm going to be Boca Raton. I'm going to be in Naples. Just go to amcrole.com for all the live shows. And until next time, Sam Kroll for Dana Gould, Grant Cardone and Mayhem Miller saying Mahala.

[Grant Cardone]

Leave us a voicemail at 888-634-1744 and.

[Adam Carolla]

Get tickets to see Adam Carolla at AdamCorola.com Pluto TV is a place for.

[Dana Gould]

Movie fans like me and TV fans like me.

[Adam Carolla]

They've got something for everyone.

[Dana Gould]

And it's free. I love free. And I love jerseys. For me, it's the Godfather, SpongeBob SquarePants. I am Patrick.

[Adam Carolla]

Patrick is me.

[Dana Gould]

Oh, Forrest Gump. Come on. Criminal minds, solving crime after bedtime.

[Adam Carolla]

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[Dana Gould]

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[Adam Carolla]

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[Dana Gould]

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[Adam Carolla]

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[Dana Gould]

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[Adam Carolla]

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