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Adam Carolla
Well, in this show it is stacked. Keith Jardine, the dean of mean MMA fighter, heavyweight. You remember him, he's going to be on. Comedian Phil Hanley is going to be on as well. And Tate Fletcher, MMA fighter, is going to be movie maker fighter. Interesting conversation with these guys. Mayhem's going to be doing some news. We'll do all that right after this.
Mike Dawson
The road goes on forever and the party never ends. Especially if your name is Adam Carolla and you love Portland, Oregon. Thursday, August 7th, catch the Ace man at Helium Comedy Club in Portland. Then August 31st at Mom Said yes in Torrance, California. Two shows at 7pm and 9pm and those Torrance shows at Mom Said yes, featuring yours truly, Mike Dawson. Then on September 12th and 13th, the Ace man heads to El Paso, Texas for four shows at the Comic Strip, Portland, August 7th, Torrance, August 31st and El Paso, September 12th and 13th. Get tickets now@adamcorola.com.
Phil Hanley
This summer, Pluto TV is exploding with thousands of free movies. Summer of cinema is here. Feel the explosive action all summer long with movies like Gladiator, Mission Impossible, Beverly Hills Cop, Good Burger and Transformers. Dark of the Moon. Bring the action with you and stream for free from all your favorite devices. Pluto TV stream now pay never.
Mike Dawson
From Corolla 1 Studios in Glendale, California, this is the Adam Corolla show. Adam's guest today, comedian Phil Hanley. Plus from the new movie Kill Me Again, Keith Jardine and Tate Fletcher. And we'll do the new and trending topics with Jason Mayhem Miller. And now the man, the myth, the misspeller, Adam Carolla.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, get it on. Got to get it on. The treasure getter mandate. You get it on. Thanks for tuning in. Thanks for telling a friend. Phil Hanley on the show. Comedian, author.
Keith Jardine
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
On tour.
Keith Jardine
Yeah. On tour, yeah.
Adam Carolla
Canadian, right?
Keith Jardine
Yes. Yeah.
Adam Carolla
Where do you live?
Keith Jardine
I live in New York City.
Adam Carolla
Oh, really?
Keith Jardine
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
How is that these days?
Keith Jardine
It's good. It's great. It's got. It got a little intense during the pandemic, but it seems to be back to normal.
Adam Carolla
Mm hmm.
Keith Jardine
I stayed. Everyone left in the pandemic. I stayed by myself in this like closet sized apartment in the East Village.
Adam Carolla
What did you do? Our live show?
Keith Jardine
No, this is our first. No, it's my first time.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, I know. I don't know. I see here I have a problem. I have a problem in life.
Keith Jardine
Okay, me too. I got lots, man.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. My problem is I see things. It's really my biggest problem. And I get distracted and then I start thinking about it. But it's not add. It's not like a normal thing. But I'm reading down the facts here.
Keith Jardine
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
And it said, appeared as a guest at live taping of the adam Carolla show, May 24, 2025, stand up comedy Club in Bellflower. And I go, wow. So specific.
Keith Jardine
Yeah, very. And that's about me.
Adam Carolla
It's on your sheet. And then under it, it says, July 10, 2025 at the Irvine Improv. But then I'm like, now, Andrew, how did this get.
Keith Jardine
That's not me either.
Adam Carolla
That date chat is hallucinating. So what happens? So here's how I work.
Keith Jardine
We gotta get to the bottom of this.
Adam Carolla
Sadly, here's how I work. Yeah, I must know, because I'm sitting here going, do I have a brain tumor? Two months ago. Two months ago, I did a show and you were with me on stage.
Keith Jardine
No, that sounds like a lovely evening. But it didn't. That sounds like a good night. Sounds really nice.
Adam Carolla
So I can't continue now. A better, more focused interviewer could just move on and we could just have this interview.
Keith Jardine
We gotta get to the bottom of this.
Adam Carolla
I'm like, we were on stage together in Bellflower two months ago, and I don't have any recollection of it. So now I'm curious. How did that. How does that get on there? And also, I'm a little dyslexic, too.
Keith Jardine
Oh, I'm so dyslexic. But I connect with people that are dyslexic.
Adam Carolla
I'm worse than dyslexic, though. Sorry.
Keith Jardine
Oh, what's that?
Adam Carolla
I never learned to read.
Keith Jardine
Oh, okay.
Adam Carolla
But I'm white and generally smart. So I realized as I got older and I went through life and I was like, I don't really read. Yeah, they go dyslexic, you're dyslexic. But if you're black, they go, fell through the cracks. System let you down.
Keith Jardine
I'd say anyone who's an adult who is dyslexic fell through the cracks of any color.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, but we blame the system. If a black guy can't read, we don't say he's dyslexic. White guy, you go dyslexic. Black, I go system man. But system man.
Keith Jardine
But if you're like, to be dyslexic, you have to be bright. That's like, I can do 100%. If I meet someone and they're like, yeah, you know, my kids struggling in school, they're really slow to read. They're very. I'm like, are they personable? Like, oh, so personable. They're very funny and charming and get the real people. People. I'm like, 100% dyslexic. Because we excel in all these different things. Socially, we excel. I feel like I'm a perfect example at the moment.
Adam Carolla
And then you're excelling. But then, of course, we got that long history. And that'. July.
Keith Jardine
We'll always have July.
Adam Carolla
End of May, but yeah. Oh, then into July, we're on the road. You guys get a residency together. Three weeks. Less than three weeks later, we're back together again in Irvine. But I don't know, Andrew. Where's this? I'm not angry. I'm just. I'm more curious, like. And sometimes it means something that I don't even know about. But I'm still curious how that. Yeah, I guess I'm just moving fast.
Tate Fletcher
And breaking things right now.
Adam Carolla
Who appeared with me on stage?
Jason Mayhem Miller
I think it was Dom DeLuise.
Adam Carolla
It was Dom.
Keith Jardine
Did I love Dom?
Adam Carolla
Did I do. Stand up at the Bellflower May 24th. Okay. I don't know who writes his bios, but that is a. That is a ton of super specific information about me performing it with you.
Keith Jardine
Very incorrect.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, well, I guess, Andrew, you probably have to proofread it maybe. But I'm still curious where that came from. Anyway, is this okay. You know, is dyslexic the ver. You know how every celebrity slept in their car now? Yeah. And you're like, were you really that poor? That. How come everybody. For the first 20 years, only Jewel was the only person that ever slept in a car. And now every fucking celebrity is like, well, man, the times were tight. I moved out and slept in my car.
Keith Jardine
It was a nap.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. I think they. Yeah, they're waiting for their in and out in the parking lot. So. But is dyslexia because I feel like dyslexic and slept in my car are the two things that get you some street cred around here?
Keith Jardine
Well, I feel like dyslexia is more recognized now, and it's more recognized as not a curse. I think people are slowly learning that. When I was a kid, it was like kindergarten. Killed it. First grade, day one, Boom. There's something wrong with him. He's lazy. He's dumb. They were so. It's crazy how, you know, just how mean and dismissive they were. And I was in special ed and all that stuff, but now I think they recognize cuz dislike we accomplished. I mean, Einstein was dyslexic. Like we accomplished a ton of stuff. It's just not in the school.
Adam Carolla
I don't know. I don't want to jump in on dyslexic because once in a while I was signing autographs the other day, some guy came up and he's like, lefty. I'm a lefty too. And I'm like, you're a long haul trucker who's waiting, who smells like booze, who's waiting for me to sign this book so I can hand it to you. So I don't know. I don't know. There's got to be some evil dyslexic people. Well, I mean, Hitler could have been left handed for all I know.
Keith Jardine
Yeah, we could look into that.
Adam Carolla
But I want to know. I'm tired of hearing about the Tom Cruise's of the world. I want to hear some losers who are dyslexic.
Keith Jardine
Well, I mean, there's people. Just because you're discouraged in school, people do. There's like the people in prison and stuff like that is like a high learning disability rate.
Adam Carolla
Well, do you find that you are more verbal because you didn't read and get pushed into that world 100%.
Keith Jardine
But also it's like the reason that I'm so pro. When you meet someone that's dyslexic is because you're nine and you have grit. You've been through the equivalent to like three divorces and you're nine because you've been called dumb and you've struggled in school and all that stuff.
Adam Carolla
Well, that is a problem. And by the way, I was just being facetious when I act about. I asked about your verbal skills because I sat there May 24 on stage at Belflow and I just stood back and I said, this is all, you.
Keith Jardine
Know my verbal skills?
Adam Carolla
Yeah, I just, I just bowed. I set the mic down and I just bowed. Remember that? And then a scant 17 days later in Irvine, repeat performance, same thing. So, yeah. Now here's the problem with kids. And I'm older than you, so I got this. They don't. From age 5 or 6 to age 18, all you do is go to school. And when you're older, later on when I got out of school, then I became a carpenter or I became a boxing coach. And then so I would have clients who are like lawyers and doctors and stuff. And so they'd be like, I'd be like, wow, that guy's a lawyer. He's a doctor's real Successful, but I'm teaching him how to box, or I'm fixing his house. And then he would go, adam, you have this skill I wish I had. I'm just a lawyer, you know, and in school, there's no trades. You're just a shitty student.
Keith Jardine
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
Everyone's a lawyer, and you're a bad lawyer, and you just get called dumb because that's the only measuring stick they have because they don't go, well, I bet you have this skill, and I bet you have that. It's just all one big reading, writing, math competition, and you suck at it. And so you're dumb. And they don't know how to put it in any other terms. Like, kids. Kids will go like, yeah. They'll go, well, don't sit behind that guy. He's the dumb one. Sit behind her. She's smart. Yeah. They just go, dumb and smart. Yeah. Mm.
Keith Jardine
But, you know, you meet a kid and you can tell if they're dumb or, you know, just because you can't spell Wednesday doesn't mean you're dumb. I mean, we all know that's bullshit. You've memorized the sequence of letters.
Adam Carolla
But did you get pulled out? Was there some hero who tapped you on the shoulder when you were young.
Keith Jardine
And went, my mom. My mom. My mom would advocate. I mean, they would try to fail me.
Adam Carolla
Every.
Keith Jardine
Every single year they tried to fail me and my mom. My dad's approach was, those sons of bitches. I pay their taxes. You're smarter than them. Which is a weird. You know, I can't spell, but I'm like, you know, think that's good? Yeah, I had the perfect. I was so lucky because I had a perfect combination of my dad. And then my mom's very mellow and went in and just reasoned with them, and they would pass me every year and then ultimately put me in special ed.
Adam Carolla
We found special ed just for that.
Keith Jardine
It was one wild. Yeah.
Adam Carolla
Affliction.
Keith Jardine
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
We found an evil person who's dyslexia, according to the computer, has dyslexia.
Tate Fletcher
They usually.
Mike Dawson
They keep the list to all the good ones, but I know I was shocked when I saw Alyssa Milano.
Adam Carolla
Oh, I knew it.
Mike Dawson
Guess who else? Whole pot cherry to make it even worse. Last one, the coup de grace, Chaz Bono.
Adam Carolla
Chaz Bono used to be dyslexic, then got cut off.
Mike Dawson
So speaking of Caitlyn Jenner, also dyslexic.
Adam Carolla
Caitlyn Jenner, but not Bruce, according to this, I got tested when I was, like, 28. I had my theater director, somebody just said to me, look, you're way too smart not to be able to read something's wrong. And it was horrible in theater and in comedy because guys would write scripts and they just hand it. Adam, you're going to play that kind of hand. And then they go, all right, let's do it, and get up there and everyone be holding their script. And I couldn't find my play.
Keith Jardine
Of course. Yeah, same.
Adam Carolla
I was. I was a. I was a mess.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Wait, let me ask you guys this. What is it? The letters are jumbled to you or.
Keith Jardine
It varies. It varies.
Jason Mayhem Miller
The common, you know, way they show it on TV is the bat.
Adam Carolla
Letters are back and forth. I'm not dyslexic. I'm not dyslexic. I don't know how to read.
Keith Jardine
It's. It's. It varies for different people, but it is. Is. It's. For me. I can't identify a symbol with a sound. So if it's a street, like, I don't know what street we're on here. But if, like, I couldn't read. I can read a name or something that I've memorized or a compound word of two words that I've memorized. But if you showed me, like, a street name, then I have no idea if I've never seen it before. So I can't identify a letter with the sound, which it sounds like. That's what Adam has.
Adam Carolla
I. My biggest problem was I could read a line clumsily, but if I read it a few times, I could read it. Yeah. But then if I looked up and looked back down again, I'd have, no, I could never find.
Keith Jardine
It's like looking into the ocean. You're like, I can't. Yeah, that's. You're what? But also to be a carpenter and a boxing coach, those are two things that a dyslexic would be really good at.
Adam Carolla
Oh, yeah, for sure.
Keith Jardine
Absolutely.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. So then. But, okay, so now it's tough because we're talking like, I am dyslexic.
Keith Jardine
You're dyslexic.
Adam Carolla
But what happened was, is I got tested when I was like, 28 or something, and that came up negative. They said, not dyslexic.
Keith Jardine
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
And then I'd say, well, I just don't know how to read. But why should I know how to read? Because I never learned how to read. So why would anyone know anything if they never learned how to do it? So then I was sort of like, well, I'm not Gonna have to deal with this too much as a boxing coach and a carpenter, so why sit around and learn how to read?
Keith Jardine
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
And then next thing you know, I got into radio and they were handing me live copy and stuff like that.
Keith Jardine
Oh, yeah.
Adam Carolla
And then they were doing stuff so funny, because we do stuff and they. And some award show or something like that. And I go, what are we gonna say? And they go, oh, don't worry. It's all in the prompter. It's all in the prompter. And I'd be like, it's cold sweats in the back, looking around. Absol. And everyone else would be like, it's in the prompter. It's on the prompter. Okay, good. And they just walk away. And I. And I would say stuff like, can you print out what's on the prompter? And I'll sit in my room and look at it.
Keith Jardine
Yeah, that's what I mean. A teleprompter that emulates vertigo to me. It's spinning. It's fucking hell. I can't even look when I go out for dinner. And they're like, oh, just scan the code. I'm like, give me a piece of paper with this.
Adam Carolla
Give me a piece of paper.
Keith Jardine
I can't. On my phone. It's just. But it affects all. It affects everything.
Adam Carolla
The only. Now what happened is I started so reading something would just fuck me up. I would just. I'd either have to memorize it or I'd have to literally read the same sentence 25 times. And then I could go read it.
Keith Jardine
Yeah, that's. I just did my audiobook.
Adam Carolla
And.
Keith Jardine
No, it was. It was the most insane. Cause it's whatever, 70,000 words. And I had to memorize. Cause an audiobook, you have to sound like. It's gotta sound like this. You gotta sound like you're talking. Yeah, I would work. I don't. We print out. There's a font that is good for dyslexics that I'm sure you'd appreciate. And I would memorize. I'd work for three hours, and then I record for three hours. Audiobooks take people two, maybe two and a half days. It took me six weeks, three days a week, and I was on the road in between. It was so. It's crazy.
Adam Carolla
It's a weird little secret sometimes. I didn't have dyslexia. I just couldn't read. And I was embarrassed, you know?
Keith Jardine
But if you're bright and you can't read, you are dyslexic. From what I Understand.
Adam Carolla
Well, I now learn to read. Now. I can do it.
Keith Jardine
Yeah, it takes. I can read now, too. But it took. You know, most people have learned that skill by seven.
Adam Carolla
But.
Keith Jardine
And it took me into my, you know, 30s.
Mike Dawson
Let's back off on that. Learn to read.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, you're all right. You're all right. I learned how to do.
Mike Dawson
Yeah, I know.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. I've. I've.
Mike Dawson
I have sat in the studio with you for hours recording your audio books.
Adam Carolla
I've learned to read a lot better.
Mike Dawson
Reading.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Yeah. Oh, no, I read. I do live. I do so many commercial copies now that I now read. Awesome. I believe that my. My book, I still couldn't read well enough when we're doing the live. Okay. The audiobook. That's fair. But you don't know what I was like when I was 19. That. That would have been an undoable task. You've done audio book.
Keith Jardine
Done what I've done. You've memorized more words. And the more. If you practice, you'd get better and better and better. But it comes naturally to a lot of people besides the person that wrote well.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. So what happened is, in the past, you couldn't hand me a piece of paper and say, spellbound. My life as a dyslexic wordsmith. Available now Spellbound tour and dates. Appeared as a guest at a live taping of the adam Carolla Show 5-24-25. Stand Up Comedy Club, Bellflower. You couldn't. I'll go down the bottom. Starred in the 2017 indie comedy film Sundowners alongside Tim Heidecker.
Keith Jardine
Yep.
Adam Carolla
Okay. I could have never, never done that. That's great. I couldn't have done that 10 years ago.
Mike Dawson
I take it back.
Adam Carolla
Thank you.
Keith Jardine
Are your kids dyslexic?
Adam Carolla
No. Let me tell you what made my plight a lot worse. A lot worse in life. It's this way. If you're a guy who's like, gets sweaty on camera. Yeah, I was also sweaty on camera guy. The only thing that'll make that worse is if the guy you're with is dry as a bone the whole time. Because if he's sweaty on camera, too, you can get some. Hey, can we. Come on, man. It's hot out here in the lights. And then he's doing it. Can we get that little fan? You know? But if he doesn't sweat, then you're fucked. So my partners were Dr. Drew, who does not sweat, by the way, and who reads because he's a doctor. Yeah. And my other partner was Jimmy Kimmel. Who's so insane that you could load up a prompter with. You could put Lord of the Rings on a prompter, and he would mow through the fucking Lord of the Rings without one slip up, bookworm. And the only thing that makes me worse is I'm standing next to the guy who does not miss a syllable. Yeah, he is so insane with his reading that when we did. Could you imagine. Imagine this. When we did the man show, he had cue cards and I had cue cards. And in order not to mix them up, my cue cards were in black and his cue cards were in blue, so we didn't cross pollinate each other's thing. And we would sit there, we'd write the. The script and then the monologue and the manologue. And then we'd go over it with Courtney, our cue car girl, and we'd go sit in Jimmy's dressing room, and she'd just peel them off and put white tape over the part and change. You'd change words and fix that and fix that. And you go. And Jimmy just mow through them. And I'd be kind of struggling, but I was embarrassed. So I'd read it a bunch of times before then. But one time we came back from hiatus or something, and him and I used to just stand behind a door, behind the fake stage wall that looked like a bar or living room or something. We'd just enter and we'd just stand back there. You'd hear the beginning of the show and stuff. And, I don't know, we talk about anything. And the show's firing up and the music's firing up, and they're about to announce us, and Jimmy goes, which color are my cue cards again? Which meant he was so fucking comfortable reading cue cards. He didn't. He would have read. I could have told him my color, and he would have just mowed through that. Yeah, yeah. And I'm like, God damn.
Keith Jardine
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
I'm sitting in my dressing room, like, dragging my finger across the thing.
Keith Jardine
But you. That's my. What you're describing. That's exactly what I would do, like, for an addition or something like that, if it's improvised so well. But if it's. If it's lines. Yeah. It means I have to work for nine hours to memorize a page or something like that because I need to memorize every. Everything. That's what it was like doing the audiobook. It was so intense.
Adam Carolla
Yes. But you get other skills developed out of that.
Keith Jardine
Well, yeah. You get a lot out of that. Yeah. I Mean, everything in my life that I'm grateful for is because I'm dyslexic. I wouldn't live in the States. I wouldn't be a comedian. I would have just gone to college and done what my friends have done, you know, which is fine. But I love my life. I live in New York. I'm here talking to you. We had that time on the Mayflower in July.
Tate Fletcher
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
Night into my memory. I'll never forget that night, so. But it's good that you had parents who would not let you feel like a dope.
Keith Jardine
Well, that's what breaks my heart is some people don't have that. Like there would be. My mom would go in for the interview for special ed and there'd be a mom who was in denial that their kid should be in there. And so I don't know what that was like at home. But yeah, my parents just accepted it. And it was the perfect combination of my mom's patience and my dad being adamant that I was smarter than the teacher.
Adam Carolla
Homes.com Some might say homes.com is the best home shopping site. Some would be me. I agree with that statement. But maybe that homes.com's super comprehensive and transparent agent directory. That's what a lot of people like about it. Or Maybe it's that homes.com is the only site that always directly connects you with the listing agent who knows the home the best. Or perhaps, just Perhaps, it's because homes.com has the most in depth neighborhood content of any home shopping site that's extensively researched. To highlight the personality of each neighborhood, homes.com goes above and beyond to bring home shoppers the in depth info they need to find the right home. Homes.com We've done your homework.
Phil Hanley
This summer, Pluto TV is exploding with thousands of free movies. Summer of cinema is here. Feel the explosive action all summer long with movies like Gladiator, Mission Impossible, Beverly Hills Cop, Good Burger and Transformers. Dark of the Moon. Bring the action with you and stream for free from all your favorite devices. Pluto tv Stream now pay never.
Adam Carolla
Did you excel at sports?
Keith Jardine
That was the problem. And that's why I became funny. Because. No, it did. Because dyslexia can affect eye hand coordination and I was. No, I was never.
Adam Carolla
That's a hand eye coordination.
Keith Jardine
Yeah, exactly. Maybe you are dyslexic, but yeah. No. I mean, no. So I was never. I'll use an athletic frame.
Adam Carolla
I have. But never in hand eye coordination. Yeah. I can't be dyslexic.
Keith Jardine
No. It can affect that or it cannot.
Adam Carolla
Well, if I was dyslexic, I worked my way through it and I now am not dyslexic. That's why I don't think I was dyslexic.
Keith Jardine
No, you're still dyslexic. But you developed these skills. You worked your ass off and you.
Adam Carolla
Developed these skills, but you're maintaining that I was dyslexic, but I never learned to read, so why would I know how to read?
Keith Jardine
Well, because you would have learned to read like everyone else around you if you weren't dyslexic.
Adam Carolla
You remind me some of my theater buddies trying to convince me I'm gay.
Keith Jardine
Oh, well, yeah. Well, I don't. I'm not. I'm not sure about your theater buddies.
Adam Carolla
But just wanted something from me. So I don't think I was dyslexic because I got tested for it and because I never learned to read, and I'm not that way now.
Jason Mayhem Miller
That's the same reason I think I'm not gay.
Adam Carolla
Yes, you were tested and you're not that way now. I was self imposed dyslexic.
Keith Jardine
I was family dyslexic, as far as I know. If you're bright and you can't, why couldn't. Why didn't you learn how to read?
Adam Carolla
Well, I never learned because they never taught it to us when I was younger because I went to a hippie school, so I never tried to read. And then by the time I got into a regular school, everyone could read.
Keith Jardine
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
So they weren't teaching you how to read, they were just reading. And I wasn't.
Keith Jardine
Didn't everyone else in the hippie school read?
Adam Carolla
This is a fine question, and the answer is no, not really.
Keith Jardine
What?
Adam Carolla
No, we were more about working with clay. Oh. Important fundamentals.
Keith Jardine
Okay?
Adam Carolla
Things you use as an adult, like pinch pots and coil pots and slab pots. You know, stuff you use every. Well, I can see you still got some under your cuticles right now. Yeah, Yeah, I threw an ashtray. This we call throwing on a potter's wheel, but you get what I'm saying.
Keith Jardine
I know the jive.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. You know, so. No, we didn't. I don't think anyone learned. Oh, really?
Keith Jardine
Yeah, I would think. I'm pretty sure you're dyslexic, but that's just.
Adam Carolla
You remind me of my gay friend. No, I don't think I am. I didn't like it. Learn how to read. And no one tried to teach me.
Keith Jardine
How to read, but you still. So you've learned how to read now, but you still. It's still not easy when you describe getting lost in a page. That is a symptom of dyslexia.
Adam Carolla
Well, I used to be. I'm thinking about it now. When I was, you know, 28 and somebody in the Acme Theater handed me a sketch and said, you know, you're playing the plumber. I would have to, like, go back. I have to get a highlighter out first off. Cause it wouldn't be like, you're Jake. Here you go. Like, no way am I finding Jake in a sea of other characters.
Keith Jardine
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
Highlighter, highlighter, highlighter. And then I just. You go sit in the back and read. Just my Parting the Life of a Dyslexic. I am. But you're also describing the life of a person who doesn't know how to read.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Yeah.
Keith Jardine
I think you would have picked it up if you.
Adam Carolla
I did pick it up. I can read now.
Keith Jardine
I know, but you could still. Well, yeah, I mean, you still. You still have the symptoms of a dyslexic. You still struggle with it.
Adam Carolla
No, I don't. I don't struggle near. I really don't struggle with it now.
Mike Dawson
I recorded audiobooks with Adam, and he does not struggle at all.
Adam Carolla
Oh, really?
Keith Jardine
You changed your tune. You accused him of struggling 10 minutes ago.
Adam Carolla
I struggled mightily. I struggled mightily. And now I always kind of walk with a limp because I just didn't get it when I was from 0 to 30. But you can go find a page of anything and hand it to me, and I'll go through it.
Keith Jardine
Okay?
Adam Carolla
So I can now, which is not my first audiobooks. I still hadn't really. I was still sort of halfway between. I couldn't have done an audiobook when I was 25. And then to the point where I'd done so many man show episodes and so many cue cards and so many teleprompters and stuff like that that I could. I could do it. You know what I mean? But I would never be like, Jimmy.
Keith Jardine
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
Because Jimmy got it early and could just do it. Like, he'd just do it. Yeah.
Keith Jardine
Because he's not dyslexic.
Adam Carolla
Do it every. You do it every. I'm not dyslexic, okay?
Keith Jardine
No, you don't seem that way at the hippie school.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Wait, we're still.
Adam Carolla
I didn't learn how. We're gonna keep going in circles. I never learned how to read. Okay, that. And then I taught myself how to read when I was like 30.
Keith Jardine
That's great.
Adam Carolla
Basically. And now I can read. That's great.
Jason Mayhem Miller
So you overcame dyslexia.
Adam Carolla
All right, let's talk about important things. I don't know if you guys know, but there was a tsunami alert yesterday. Okay. We need to work out what's coming and what's not coming. Because it ruined my night, this tsunami. What dead spell tsunami?
Keith Jardine
Oh, there's. No. Honestly, that's one of those words that should just be up to your own discretion, I think.
Adam Carolla
Whatever. Whatever version of it.
Keith Jardine
Yeah, yeah.
Adam Carolla
Like what black people do with first names. Just do it your own way. You know what I mean?
Keith Jardine
Certain words. I grew up in Canada, and you'd have to write like, Saskatchewan. And I'm like, just. You know what I mean?
Adam Carolla
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So the alert. Well, so here's what happens. Here's how the system works. My girlfriend. I live in Malibu. Girlfriend's phone starts blowing up at 6 o'. Clock. Are you okay? Are you okay? Women have a scare network where they just. What they do is they spread out all over the country. You get one in Austin, you get one in New York, you get one in Detroit. And then they all hear about something that's taking place in California. Like if there was a shooting at Knott's Berry Farm, she'd get eight tests. Were you at Knott's Berry Farm? Are you okay? Yeah.
Keith Jardine
That's not. That doesn't happen in New York.
Adam Carolla
Right. That you're lucky.
Keith Jardine
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
So they go, are you okay? And then it's a lot. What's going on? Tsunami heading your way. Then I get the. We gotta start packing our bags.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Oh, no.
Adam Carolla
And I go, tsunami. Because I've lived here my whole life, I'd never. They. They talk about it, but I never. There's never a tsunami. And she's like, yeah. Remember I was telling you to pack your bags for the fire? And you told me it was no big deal?
Keith Jardine
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
That was six months ago. And we've been living in a hotel. I go, yeah. She goes, all right, pack your bags. And I'm like, listen, I know I may have been wrong about your fire. I know I said it was gonna be no big deal. And now everything in front of us is down to the ground and our neighbor's house is gone. I understand the optics of this, but I'm still telling you that this tsunami thing is not. They claim it, but they ain't doing it. They always say it, but it never gets here. Yes, it's an earthquake in Chesapeake Bay, but it Never gets here. But they love to sound the alarm. Yeah, phone blowing up. Are you okay, by the way? Are you okay? I'm clinging to a piece of driftwood. Thank you for talking. Yeah, nothing but my phone.
Keith Jardine
My phone's in a bag of rice.
Adam Carolla
And this door from the Titanic, that's all I got. Okay, so they just keep going and then they up the temperature. Are you okay? You gotta flee. The tsunami's coming. So I'm like, look, we're up on the hill at least a couple hundred feet, I think. Even if the tsunami comes, see, people think tsunami's like a tidal wave, but it's really just the tide coming in, you know? I go, we'll be okay. Then, of course, what the news does is they circulate a bunch of footage from Japan in 2011 with houses and trucks and kids floating down. Gilbert Godfrey's making jokes, you know, and then they're looking at that and they're going, holy shit, we gotta get outta here. I go, listen, what's the timeline? Well, we'll know by 1o, 4 in the, in the evening, in the a.m. well, that's when it's gonna hit 1am And I'm like, are we gonna have to wring our hands and pace from 6:30 is our whole night shot because of this tsunami? That's never gonna come. Well, again, I was a guy, I was the fire denier 10 minutes ago, and everything burned. So I don't really get a vote on this one. So I go, listen, you see guys got lights on down in front of us. They're right on the ocean. Nobody's going anywhere. They know the thing. Let's go for a walk. We'll walk down pch, we'll see what the temperature is. And we go walking down pch and I look up, it's getting dark at the fire station and there's four guys, firemen, standing on the roof. And I go, what the. She goes, look at them, they're up on the roof, they're going for high ground. I go, what the fuck are they standing on the roof for? They're smoking because they're firemen, but they smoke and they smoke on the roof because it doesn't look good to the captain to hang out and smoke in the kitchen. Those guys are smoking. I go, listen, I don't want to pack a bag, I don't want to get out of here. I already fled twice with the fire. This tsunami thing, they tell you all the time, they scare the shit out of you. It's the News. They take the news anchor and they put him out in Santa Monica and then he's out there, the news reporter, like, well, nothing yet, Tim, but we're keeping it. We're monitoring the situation. They recommend moving to higher ground. It's a, it's a. Right now, it's a warning, but it's not a four alarm tsunami. And it's like they just beat you over there. Totally all fear porn, right? Yeah. So we're walking down PCH and we turn around, we start walking back. And now the nightmare. This is the person you don't want to run into in these situations. Because what you need to do is run into another me.
Keith Jardine
Yes.
Adam Carolla
Like a guy just drinking a beer going, yeah, they do these things all the time. I don't worry about. I'm going back in the house, run into a guy, he's got a truck and he's moving. He's moving. Oh my God, he's moving stuff out. He's on pch. He's on the water.
Jason Mayhem Miller
He's wearing, he's packing it up.
Adam Carolla
And we go walking past him and he just turns around, like sweaty. He's like, yeah, I got more guys coming. My girlfriend's like, what? Oh, I'm moving out. She's looking at me, he's moving out. I go, what's the deal? Well, I lived in the Palisades. That shit's down to the ground. Tried, didn't move fast enough. That place is gone. Then I moved into rent here. Now I'm not taking any chances. I'm getting out tonight. Tonight. Packs up the bag. He's packing a truck and my girlfriend's looking at me. You see?
Phil Hanley
Do you see?
Adam Carolla
Do you see the people are fleeing? Well, he got his house burned in the Palisades. He suffered trauma. He's traumatized now. And by the way, he's on the ocean. His bedroom is three foot above the ocean. We're on the hill. We got 110ft here to deal with. I gotta get out. I go, okay, listen. Okay, it's supposed to hit Hawaii. When's it hit Hawaii? There's another discussion. Hits Hawaii, 1030 Eastern. Okay, wait a minute. They're two hours behind us. Wait a minute. What time? Shit. Okay, that's 7:30 here. And why is what never have to go under us. You just do the math. You know what I mean? If you never go down, I'm at the bottom. Yeah, but now Hawaii. I'm like, what time? Okay, so anyway, it's like 7:15 is supposed to Hit Hawaii, Then it gets to Oregon. It hits Oregon at 11:15 and then it gets to San Francisco at like 12:30. And then it gets to my front door at like 1:05. In the, in the air.
Keith Jardine
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
So I go, okay, listen, we gotta monitor Hawaii. If it doesn't hit Hawaii, if it's no big deal in Hawaii, then of course the news is rows and rows of people trying to flee stuck in traffic in Hawaii. Oprah hasn't opened her private road. Evidently Oprah has a road that she owns and she's not going to open it up to the fleers. So now they're all stuck in traffic. I don't know how much it is. Is this Internet bullshit.
Keith Jardine
Did it, what, did it pass?
Jason Mayhem Miller
So is your house gone?
Adam Carolla
It passes Hawaii with not kind of big whoop. Okay, not much. So I go, all right, all right, let's turn down the heat a little bit here. And if it gets to Oregon in two and a half hours and it's a nothing burger then and it's bedtime. Yeah, yeah. And so that's what happened. It got to Oregon, it just kind of, kind of crapped out. And nothing. Nothing. Zero. By the way, I woke up this morning, looked out the window, I could see the shore. Zero burger. It's not like there was some wet line that was pushed up 8ft or something. Fucking zero. They got to figure out their tsunami warnings just a little better because in general, all they do is scare the shit out of everybody and it never happens, but never lands.
Keith Jardine
Even if they figured it out, I'm sure they would report it the same. I mean, they're trying to sell Pepsi.
Adam Carolla
No, I bought a couple of cases.
Keith Jardine
Oh no.
Adam Carolla
Well, they go, I'm just saying my evening was ruined by all the bullshit reporting. By the way. Forget about my evening. I had four years of COVID time reporting ruin my fucking world as well. It's should be a class action lawsuit.
Keith Jardine
In those moments where you're like, okay, this is the guy who's a 5050 chance. He's going to be like mellow about it or he's obviously completely traumatiz and you're just like, bad luck to meet that dude.
Adam Carolla
It was like that guy I'm now convinced was an actor who was paid by my girlfriend and staged. He didn't even live at that house. They just said, rent the van, put it in front, spray yourself with some sweat, act concerned, a little out of breath, and here's some empty boxes.
Keith Jardine
Sounds like he nailed it.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, here's some Empty. Just put them in the van. Be talking about the fire. Make sure we bring the fire up, because then we can settle. We can. We can revisit me not wanting to flee for the fire. So that's good. Start the fire. Be a little out of breath. Explain to. Got some other guys showing up. Then, by the way, we'll be down the road. They don't have to show up. We're not going to wait. And I wait for the guys and then explain, this time you've learned your lesson and you're never going to mess around with this again and throw in a couple better safe than sorry, whatever, and then just take off. Yeah, yeah.
Tate Fletcher
The better.
Keith Jardine
The safest. Because it's hard to argue with that.
Adam Carolla
Hard to argue with that. And my only argument is, is I would like to watch TV and snack in a bathrobe. Like, that's really. I'm not saying I don't need to be there for any other reason other than your lethargy. It's just like me going, I like it when my balls are actually making contact with the sofa and my bathrobe's a little bit over.
Keith Jardine
You're not on dialysis.
Adam Carolla
I got a beer. Yeah. Like, I don't have anything other than being super lazy. Yeah. And not wanting to leave, you know? And then I started floating a plan. Pardon the pun with the floating. But I said, look, if the shit really goes down, we're on a hill. The hill goes way up. Like, up the mountain. Like, it'll go up to a thousand feet. The tsunami. Snap. We'll just go. Just hop in the car. We'll just drive up the hill. We'll just sit up the hill. And she goes, then we'll be trapped on the hill. I go, well, yeah, I really worked out the end of that. Let's grab some food and go up the hill. And some bottled water. But, yeah, we would be trapped on the hill. But nothing happened. And not only. I mean nothing. Like, not anything.
Keith Jardine
And then. So it's done. It's not even a thing.
Adam Carolla
Today it's done. We're done. But we'll be on to the next one. Oh, yeah. And I don't know what could be a measles outbreak. Could be a monkey flu, monkeypox. We'll be on to something.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Tell me what to be scared about today.
Adam Carolla
Everything starts somewhere. Russia, China. And then comes to us. So we have time. We don't start. We don't innovate here. We don't make our own diseases, our own tsunamis. But see, but that's the way we like it because once they. They start somewhere else, and then we get put on the clock. Okay, man, what are you going to do? Because it's coming. It's coming. The tsunami has Covid and it's coming to our shores, and they're like, we got to panic and do some shit. That's not really going to do anything, but it's going to. It's going to scare the shit out of everyone.
Keith Jardine
I'm glad you got to have your snacks.
Adam Carolla
I got my snacks. I remained in my bathrobe. It was awesome. There should be a bro code for the dude, the panicky dude. There should be a size this guy. First off, let's size me up.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
I've been warned that there's a tsunami that's going to hit the shore. And I snapped into action by walking along that shore at night. So you kind of get where I'm coming from, bro.
Keith Jardine
Right?
Adam Carolla
You get where I'm coming from. You can see where she's coming from. So maybe you should weave in a little.
Keith Jardine
Like, where do you guys.
Adam Carolla
Where are you guys at? Oh, we're up there. Oh, hell. Up the hill. Shit. No, where I'm going. Yeah, I'm moving up. I'm going to your roof, bro. Yeah, I could have. That would have been good. But no, I had to get the sweaty panic and moving. I'm getting out of here, man. Take what's valuable. Yeah, yeah. Should be bro code there, right?
Keith Jardine
Yeah. He let you down, man.
Adam Carolla
He did. Although he was probably a paid actor, like I said, in which case he.
Keith Jardine
Truly sounds like it.
Adam Carolla
He nailed it. Yeah. I should have been suspicious. Cause I was like, well, why don't we just walk our usual route? She's like, no, no, no, go this way. Go this way. Why? And actually just stage a couple firemen on the roof.
Keith Jardine
Yeah, the firemen on the roof. That's ominous. Like, that's the beginning of a movie.
Adam Carolla
First off. It's something you don't see every day.
Keith Jardine
No, I've never in my life.
Adam Carolla
And I was like, oh, shit. Because the fireman. You can't abandon your station if you're the fireman. Yeah, but you can go to the roof if you think shit's gonna go down. So that was a little weird, but at some point I was like, I think I see a cigar.
Keith Jardine
And he's.
Adam Carolla
Not putting it out. All right, let's see. We got some news.
Jason Mayhem Miller
We got some news.
Adam Carolla
All right, let's take a quick break. We'll do some news right after this. Shopify. Love that Shopify. Sounds like Superfly. Yeah, starting a business, it can be intimidating. Shopify is the commerce platform behind millions of businesses around the world and 10% of all e commerce in the US from household names like Mattel and Gymshark to brands that are just getting started. Get started with your own design studio. With hundreds of ready to use templates, Shopify helps you build a beautiful online store to match your brand's style. Get the word out like you got a marketing team behind you. Easily create social media campaigns wherever your customers are scrolling or strolling. And best yet, Shopify is your commerce expert with world class expertise in everything from managing inventory to international shipping to processing returns and beyond. It's Shopify. Right?
Mike Dawson
Dawson, Turn your big business idea into Shopify on your side. Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at shopify.com Corolla go to shopify shopify.com Corolla shopify.com.
Adam Carolla
Corolla O'Reilly Auto Parts O'Reilly, yeah, man, I was, hell, I was just talking to someone about going to O'Reilly today. I'm getting a race car prepped to go to Monterey for the historics. And I said I want one of those special batteries for the race cars. And the guy said, yeah, O'Reilly has those. So they got everything. They know your car and they have parts and they have friendly service and they have helpful service people and they have everything you need to maintain and repair your automobile and keep you going. So whether you're a car aficionado or an auto novice, you will find the employees at O'Reilly Auto Parts are knowledgeable, helpful and, and best of all, friendly. Stop by O'Reilly Auto Parts today or visit us at O'ReillyAuto.com Adam that's O'ReillyAuto.com Adam.
Keith Jardine
Does anyone here teach special ed?
Adam Carolla
No.
Keith Jardine
No.
Adam Carolla
Okay.
Keith Jardine
Just the one dude that's in it.
Adam Carolla
All right. Okay.
Keith Jardine
Glad I recognized you. Is there anyone here that's a regular teacher? Oh, over there. What do you have against kids with disabilities?
Mike Dawson
Phil Hanley is on the Adam Carolla.
Adam Carolla
Show Spellbound, the name of the book and the tour as well. All right, Mayhem's got some news.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Yeah. First up, Donald Trump considering a pardon for Diddy after a judge rules on the bail.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, I think this is fake news. I don't think he's gonna.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Well, yeah, that's this from tmz. It says Donald Trump is more to open, more than open to pardoning. Diddy but he wants to see what Judge Arum Suburbanium does with Diddy's latest bail petition. We're told that it was. If Diddy is granted bail, Trump will not make a decision on a pardon until Diddy is sentenced.
Adam Carolla
I'm changing my view on this, cuz I now realize Trump is just trolling the outside world. And I think it works every time. It works every time. And I think he sits around. Cuz I'm convinced. Just like I'm convinced that guy was a paid actor. Yeah, I'm convinced that Gavin Newsom, our governor, wakes up every day and goes, what would piss Adam Carolla off the most? And then he goes, let's do that. This is gonna be awesome. And I think the antithesis of that is Trump going, what would piss off Gavin Newsom the most? Let's do that. And I think in the world of trolling, I kind of believe it. Like now I'm thinking maybe he would just. Because everyone would go insane.
Keith Jardine
I think it's like this tsunami, the news story. It's. Yeah, everyone will talk. I'm sure everyone's talking about this.
Adam Carolla
I don't think it's real. I don't think he's gonna do it. I don't think it's ever gonna happen, but you never know.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Well, other sources say that Diddy's case resonated with Trump because the President believes Diddy, like him, was unfairly targeted by the Feds. They note Trump's Department of Justice recently fired Maureen Comey, the lead prosecutor in the Diddy case, and daughter, former FBI head Trump nemesis James Comey.
Adam Carolla
So he got like, a lot of.
Jason Mayhem Miller
You know, personal effect in this case. That's why they're saying this.
Adam Carolla
I was talking to Mark Garagos about this the other day because his daughter was P. Diddy's lawyer. Oh, wow. So funny, because Gargas was, like, usually like one of the most hated guys around because he would defend all these guys. Michael Jackson and, oh, God, what's his name?
Mike Dawson
Scott Peterson.
Adam Carolla
Scott Peterson. And all these guys. You know, he just literally just go. You know, he was like. He was like a Nazi Nuremberg war trial attorney who, like, you know, he has to defend your honor. My client would never exterminate. Achoo. You know, like, he's a family man. So everyone hates Garagos. But now his daughter has taken over. Wow.
Keith Jardine
I had no idea.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Mantle Tenny. I. Yeah. Went to her wedding. She's a delight, by the way. She's one of the nicest.
Keith Jardine
Be so strong. Because not many people could relate to what that is as a gig to defend these people and to see how it comes across in the public eye.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, I agree. And it's an interesting wiring because most people are so worried. They treat life like a popularity contest. They're so worried about what people think of them. And when you take one of these cases, it's just. You turn into a fucking pariah.
Keith Jardine
Till death.
Adam Carolla
Till death. Yeah. Yeah. I felt bad because I was at her wedding. It was in March. Backyard. He has a big. That's a rich man, poor man thing. Backyard wedding. Like, my sister got married, my grandma's backyard, but that's because we're poor.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
And Tenny got married Mark's backyard. Because they're rich. Yeah. Yeah.
Keith Jardine
That's funny.
Adam Carolla
It's not a meat. It's not a. It's not a middle of the road kind of problem. It's a poor thing and a fucking rich thing. The rich version is better, you know? And they were. Remember, I literally. Mark was like, you got to get to the wedding. And I go, well, I'm out of town. I was in Alaska. Well, I said, like, what time you land? Oh, I land at, like, 2. Oh, the wedding doesn't start till 4. You know, you can make it. And I got back from Alaska, and I went straight to the wedding, and I saw Mark's wife, who's a delight, and I said, what do we. What's for dinner? Like, what are we doing for food? She goes, we're doing salmon. And I went, oh, great. I just ate seven pounds of salmon in Alaska. I was kind of making a joke. Yeah. Bummed her out. Oh, no, she cares because she's nice. Yeah. Yeah. I found out later.
Keith Jardine
Oh, that's too bad.
Adam Carolla
Ruined the wedding. That.
Keith Jardine
Yeah, well, they got a divorce. Yeah, that's a bummer. When you take a swing like that and you move on with your life and then you find out, oh, I ruined that lady's special day.
Adam Carolla
People have no idea how much shit I'm kind of kidding about that. They take super seriously.
Keith Jardine
Yes.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Keith Jardine
Why? If I see a joke, I'm going for the joke.
Adam Carolla
I have to explain to people all the time, going for the joke, man. I go, well, kind of hurt her feelings, you know? And I go, what the. I'm doing. I. Delivering the straight kind of deadpany thing. Yeah, so do I. And it causes damage.
Keith Jardine
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Keith Jardine
It's a bummer.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Keith Jardine
So making things a little entertaining.
Adam Carolla
I've had to tell people, like, I'm a Comedian. What do you think I'm gonna do? I'm going for this thing.
Keith Jardine
You know what I. Yeah, yeah. Because you just get in the habit of your writing, or you're doing tons of shows or also, it's also just good to test your gauge on humor in real life. I do that all the time. And you see, sometimes you get a huge pop at, like, a fucking wherever you are.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. You know what happens to me, actually? And it's part of the trouble, if you want to know the process, but you should say how your process works. I realize I talk and I'll say X and I'll say Y, and I'll say Z. And then all of a sudden, I'm just talking, but the punchline pops into my head. And I wasn't even doing a setup, but a punch. I was doing someone's radio show the other day, and they were talking about trades, building trades. And I said, well, we're talking about different groups who did different things in the trades. And I said, well, it's not just one group. Like, Mexicans do all the stucco. They do all the masonry. They do the concrete stuff. They do that stuff. And then white guys, they'll do finish work. Cabinetry, baseboard casing, like, hang doors. The Middle Eastern guys will do the stonework and the tile and stuff like that. And I was just sort of explaining it. And then at some point I go. And then the black guys, well, they come in and they steal everything. And the guy was like, what? I was like, like, yeah, I just make it a joke, but I couldn't help myself.
Keith Jardine
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
But I wasn't planning on saying it. I was just going down a line. And then it's something sort of, you know, what would be called. You know, something popped in my head. Well, there's a lot of even if it'll torpedo even, it'll get me in trouble. I don't care. I'm spitting it out.
Keith Jardine
Well, and there's also that thing in your head when you think of the punchline. It's like. It's. The window is like, you gotta get.
Adam Carolla
It out or the window's painted shut.
Keith Jardine
Yeah, you got it.
Adam Carolla
The max in may have painted the window shut because they do some painting.
Keith Jardine
You got to get it out.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. All right. What else you got there, man?
Jason Mayhem Miller
Next up, we got ucla to pay $6 million to settle discrimination complaints, including campus Jew exclusion zone.
Adam Carolla
That's right.
Jason Mayhem Miller
The University of California, Los Angeles, pay more.6 million to settle the discrimination complaints brought by Jewish faculty and students against the school in 2024, which included letting antisemitic protesters build a Jew exclusion zone and block them from campus. Yeah, that was. Apparently.
Adam Carolla
It's called the NBA. They already have one of those, don't they? Yeah, it's a weird. It's such a lunatics taking over the asylum thing. Like, people are like, we're gonna do this. And then the faculty's like, yeah, we don't want to agitate these. It's like, sorry, zookeeper, you gotta agitate people. I mean, this been going on for a while. Let's see.
Keith Jardine
I can't believe that's real.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Yeah, I know. It was like a strange thing that happened during the protest that. Yeah, they just put up this. They kind of made a fortress, sort of.
Adam Carolla
I'm looking at Dawson. Who was it at Evergreen? Was it Brett Weinstein? I interviewed Brett Weinstein. You look it up, Dawson. I mean, it's gotta be 10 years old. This guy was a professor at Evergreen, like a real progressive college.
Keith Jardine
Was that in Olympia?
Adam Carolla
Yeah, I think it may be in Washington. Yeah. Somewhere in that area. And it's a real progressive. He's Jewish and progressive and blah, blah, blah. And they did a day because it was a progressive college. They would do a day without a black student or something like that, where the black student wouldn't show up. There's probably one of them there, but it was like, no black student. And that's how it was. And every year, they do day without a black student. And then the black students would show up. And again, I don't know what the fuck they have to do that for, but they have to do it. And then at some point, this is what all these people do once you go, yeah, yeah, fine. Gay marriage. Yeah. Get married. They're like, we don't care. They go, hmm. Well, we're not pissing these people off. We need to up the ante. So they said, it's no longer just a day without a black student. It's a day without everyone. No faculty, no nothing. Everyone stays home. And Bret Weinstein goes, well, I teach here. So I'm coming in and I'm teaching. And they're like, no, you're not. And they said, the students? And he's like, I'm gonna show up and I'm gonna teach my class for the kids that want to be in the class who paid to come to this college. And he showed up, and next thing you know, angry mob. And next thing, you know, faculty, like, we're not calling the cops because we don't Want to agitate the mob. And the next thing you know, he's fucking running for his life. And they're like, the faculty's like, like, yeah. Saying to him, they're going, you gotta protect yourself. Cause I don't think we can't protect you kind of thing. And it was like, let's get him. And it's like, hey, douchebags, you guys run a fucking college now. Get your shit together, would you? And I don't know why you're scared of the 19 year old Pro Hamas lesbian, but get the fuck over it and do your fucking job. And I'm glad everyone's getting sued because they're now forced to do their fucking job.
Keith Jardine
That's wild.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, it is. That we let the lunatics take over. I mean, what was that? Is that 10 years ago?
Mike Dawson
That was 2017.
Adam Carolla
All right, eight years ago.
Mike Dawson
And yeah, they wanted the white people to stay off campus. And he said no. He wrote a letter to the board on the campus that said there's a huge difference between a group or coalition deciding to voluntarily absent themselves from a shared, shared space to highlight their vital and underappreciated roles, and a group encouraging another group to go away.
Adam Carolla
The.
Mike Dawson
The first is a forceful call to consciousness, which is of course crippling to the logic of oppression. The second is a show of force and an act of oppression in and of itself. He ended up suing the school, good. For $3.8 million in damages and received a quarter of a million. 250.
Jason Mayhem Miller
This is similar.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, it prevents. I don't like the lawfare. I don't like the lawsuits. I'm not litigious. But if it prevents people from doing shitty things or institutions from doing shitty things, then by all means sue them so they stop doing it. So I'm saying, like, if you go, I'm going to fire this guy because he didn't get vaccinated, or I'm gonna fire this guy because I read a tweet that he wrote over the weekend that I didn't like then. I do want you sued for wrongful termination so you don't fire the next guy is basically what I'm saying. All right, so that's good. Yeah.
Jason Mayhem Miller
6.1. Yeah. 3 million. Mostly the plaintiffs.
Adam Carolla
It's a weird thing to constantly say we have nothing against the Jews and then constantly be out chanting from the river to the sea and having no Jew zones and stuff like that. It's kind of a weird thing. Like if you just replace them with Irish, you'd go. We got nothing against the Irish. We just want their land taken out and we don't want any of the filthy Irishmen on this campus. Then I'd go, well, maybe there is an issue that you possibly have with our Irish brethren, but. Okay. All right. From the river to the sea. Hand me the Lucky Charms. All right.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Tom Brady appears to rib Giselle with the parenting comment.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Ribbed her. Yeah.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Great. Gave his thoughts on Tuesday.
Adam Carolla
I thought you said rimmed. Originally, I'm really into this story, but now I'm only so interested. Those fucking two. Yeah.
Jason Mayhem Miller
This is another TMZ special.
Adam Carolla
You know, those two are so beautiful. They're so handsome.
Keith Jardine
Beautiful couple.
Adam Carolla
They're beautiful, right? They're no longer a couple, but they're so. Both physically striking. Right. It's gotta be rough to be their kid. Cause it's a little disappointing. You know what I mean? It's a little. We took chocolate and we took peanut butter and we put it together, but we didn't get a Reese's Peanut Butter cup out of it.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
You know what I mean? We got a Mike and I got.
Keith Jardine
I don't know, I haven't seen the kids, but they're okay.
Adam Carolla
But they're not. What?
Jason Mayhem Miller
It's just a peanut shell.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You got. You got dark chocolate and some shell in there.
Keith Jardine
I haven't seen them, but I know my. When my girlfriend has a theory that, like, two really good looking people often don't have good looking kids. And she's saying that to my face and it hurts. I think it really hurts me because.
Adam Carolla
Well, we got to see your parents, number one. Because we can go way back the. Well, first off, you basically have a 10 with a 10, and so there's nowhere to go but down, you know, 20. And then sometimes you get like. Sometimes you get a real conundrum. You get like Christie Brinkley and Billy Joel, you know what I mean? And the kids got a lot of Christie Brinkley, but you'll see the Billy Joel part too.
Keith Jardine
Oh, yeah, Yeah. I don't know the kids, but that's because sometimes you see an unattractive couple and they just put together this miracle. I have seen that.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. My parents are both unattractive or were both unattractive. And my sister and myself, when we were in a high height of our powers, were probably attractive people. So my parents were able to cobble together something. I don't know. But if you got Tom and Giselle, every time that kid comes in and goes, hey, my dad's Tom Brady. My mom's Gisele Bunchy. And you're gonna get a.
Keith Jardine
Okay, so what's the ultimate mix then? Like, two sevens? Is that what we're. Is it the math? Two fives, you get a 10.
Adam Carolla
I think there's some pixie dust that can't really be, you know, explained and put on paper. I know. It's not just the two best looking people in the world are gonna have the best looking kid. There's a little something. It's part of what makes us human. Right. It's part of the interesting part. Something. Some gene from five generations ago. There's something. There's something there. And look, his kids are fine looking. I mean, there's nothing wrong with them at all. And I'm sure they'll do okay. But there's a little.
Keith Jardine
Well, because they're. Those two are almost like perfect specimens.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Standing in the shadows of those goddess points and.
Adam Carolla
God.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Yeah.
Mike Dawson
Well, it's like we were talking about Don Swayze and Patrick Swayze. Don Swayze is like Dr. Frankenstein's first attempt at Patrick Swayze looks like a perverton, you know.
Adam Carolla
You're from Canada. You know Don Swayze.
Keith Jardine
Yeah, I know. I'm not familiar with Dom Swayze. I knew Dom DeLuise, though, earlier, when you referenced him.
Adam Carolla
Well, there's a Don. That's a Don and a Dom.
Keith Jardine
I'm also Canadian and dyslexic, so.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Delaware.
Keith Jardine
No, no, I didn't know the difference between the Dom and the Dom.
Adam Carolla
Oh, the Dom and The Don spelled DeLuise. Yeah, yeah. Write this sentence down. Dom DeLuise was swept away in a tsunami with a swift ocean current. Yeah.
Keith Jardine
I would bebop and scat my way through those words. 100%.
Adam Carolla
I'm the guy. I'm the guy who. Look at these two. I'm the guy who was laughed out of the sixth grade because at some point the teacher said to me, adam, go up to the chalkboard and put the boys and girls PE schedule up. I was like, you want me to do it? Yeah, take the chalk and go up there.
Keith Jardine
Oh, man.
Adam Carolla
I was like, whoa, what are we doing? First off, I'm left handed. So when I draw on a chalkboard, my hand just erases. Oh, yeah. What I just wrote. It smears it out. I wish I'd done a better smear job this time. I spelt gurls G U R L S. And everyone started laughing at me.
Keith Jardine
Oh, man.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Keith Jardine
Yeah.
Jason Mayhem Miller
You're ahead of your time.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Mm. And I fucking. I Said, you know what? One day you're not gonna be laughing so hard when I'm digging ditches on a construction site.
Keith Jardine
Those experiences. Don't you think that's what made you a comedian?
Adam Carolla
Not exactly. In that I was always funny. So I was like, oh, I'm funny.
Keith Jardine
But don't you think you were funny? Like, for me, I was so not able to participate in school. Not able to read. I would fake read and then nod my head like, you know, oh, God, this author. Really?
Adam Carolla
I would fake read too. Yeah.
Keith Jardine
And then fake know the answers. So then at recess, I would just be on.
Adam Carolla
Oh, yeah. I mean, definitely. Definitely an element. Definitely an element of that. There's definitely an element of that. But more practically, I could have maybe been a lawyer, but I couldn't have been a lawyer because I couldn't read anything. So a lot of good jobs were eliminated for me.
Keith Jardine
Oh, if you can't write an application.
Adam Carolla
Right. I couldn't fill an application. So all that was left was construction and comedy. So basically, the two things you don't need to know how to write.
Keith Jardine
I mean, I started comedy with a lot of people that don't do comedy anymore. And for me, there was no. There was no backup plan. Like, which is also.
Adam Carolla
I didn't have a backup plan. Well, my backup plan was working construction my whole life.
Keith Jardine
But, yeah, I don't like lifting and stuff.
Adam Carolla
But listen, I didn't like it either. That's what people don't understand. I. I was forced to do it. Like, my kids can choose not to do something they don't want to do. I could not choose to do something I didn't want to do. I just handed a shovel, you know?
Keith Jardine
Do you still do stuff? Would you renovate? Like, if you had to build something in your house, would you do that?
Adam Carolla
Oh, shit, yeah.
Keith Jardine
Oh, nice.
Adam Carolla
I do it all the time.
Keith Jardine
That's great, Sam.
Adam Carolla
All right, let's see. We got Tate Fletcher and Keith Jardine out there. Oh, MMA movie. Awesome. You must know Keith, right?
Jason Mayhem Miller
Oh, yeah.
Adam Carolla
You know Tate.
Jason Mayhem Miller
I think I'm dyslexic, but yes.
Adam Carolla
All right, so we will make some room for them. I will give you, Phil, a plug at the end of the show. Okay. Good seeing you again off stage for a change.
Keith Jardine
Yeah. So great to meet dyslexic brother.
Adam Carolla
I don't know. I gotta find the paperwork. All right, we'll be back right after this. Oh, yeah, American Giant. I'm wearing their shirt right now. Quite lovely. That's a navy dark blue. Anyway, did you know, 60% of clothes we buy end up in a landfill within a year of being made. Historically, our clothes were something we held onto for a long time. But big apparel companies constantly find ways to make clothes faster and cheaper. Turning clothes disposable American Giant. American Giant is about durable non disposable products. They make their clothes built to last. Remember we used to have shirts and pants. You'd keep them for a long time. So buying from American Giant is an investment not just in the clothes, but a community trying to do things the right way. And again, I love my American Giant stuff. I'm wearing it right now. Through American Giant ingenuity and innovation, they went against the current to do better. They believe in a new kind of conscious buying because small changes can add up to something really big. It's American Giant. They make really quality, high quality stuff. I love it. Am I right, Dawson?
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Mike Dawson
It's time to check Adam's voicemail.
Adam Carolla
Hey Adam, Richard from Virginia calling. Got a theory for you to think about. I suspect that the greatest thing that ever happened to Yoko Ono is that John Lennon was killed when he was killed. Because otherwise he'd be balls deep in some 20 year old right now. Food for thought. Get it on.
Mike Dawson
You can leave us a message at 888-634-1744.
Adam Carolla
You know Sirius XM has a Beatles channel and they do breakfast with the Beatles where folks call in and he prays on the Beatles and request songs. I think you should save that thought for that Sunday morning call in and add a new perspective to those folks.
Dawson
Get a scope to that perspective.
Adam Carolla
They're busy talking about Apple Studios and stuff like that, but they've probably never heard this angle.
Dawson
It's important to flesh it all out.
Adam Carolla
You know the craziest thing about that story? The guy who killed John Lennon tried to kill himself in Hawaii on a beach and was saved by a surf fisherman at five in the morning and then went on to kill John Lennon. Wow, isn't that a weird one? Like imagine Cosmically. A dude drives his car in Hawaii to see the sunrise. It's five in the morning. He's gonna watch the sunrise for the last time. Takes a garden hose, puts it from the tailpipe into the car. It's going to kill himself with carbon monoxide, which works, by the way. I've almost done it. And he starts falling asleep, and all he's got to do is drift off for another five minutes, and John Lennon is still alive.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Hey, you know what the fisherman's name?
Adam Carolla
Yoko Ono Ono. He sees a guy. Guy surf fishing. And, you know, sunrise sees the guy, rushes over, pulls him out of the car.
Dawson
And if he'd have died at that time, people would have mourned him.
Tate Fletcher
And now that fisherman's gotta live with that.
Adam Carolla
That's right. I never thought about the fisherman. You gotta look that story up. We gotta book that guy. Oh, man. What's that like? Cause I don't know. Like, now there's a weird moral thing, because on one hand, you did a very. You did a good moral act. You saved a guy, but then that guy goes on and kills an icon.
Jason Mayhem Miller
It's like slapping the plan B out of Hitler's mom's mouth.
Adam Carolla
Yep, that's what I was gonna say. Tate Fletcher's here, and so is Keith Jardine, who has a great MMA nickname. The King of Mean.
Phil Hanley
The Dean of Mean.
Adam Carolla
The Dean of Mean.
Jason Mayhem Miller
The Dean of Mean.
Adam Carolla
The Dean of Mean. That is. That's good. That's good. You know what I don't like? I don't like when people put iron in front of Mike. Like, fuck that. That was Ditka, and then it was Tyson. You can't just put iron in front of your name. If your name is Mike, that's no good. That's a no fly. And if your name is Brad and you put bad in front of it, fucking. Would you come up with something a little more interesting than Bad Brad? It's always Bad Brad. Okay, Done. Tired, boring. But the Dean of means, you know.
Tate Fletcher
The thought process was just what you're talking about. I was like, Mean Jardine. Mean Jardine. Well, yeah. Mean Joe Green.
Keith Jardine
Whatever.
Tate Fletcher
That's been done. It's been done.
Adam Carolla
Okay.
Tate Fletcher
We'll be better. We'll do the Dean of Mean. That's how that came out.
Adam Carolla
The Dean of Mean.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Like, he's at the college of hard knocks. That's awesome.
Adam Carolla
What was your best fight? Was it Rampage?
Tate Fletcher
Rampage is my favorite fight. Maybe it's my best fight. I didn't win that one, but it's My favorite one.
Adam Carolla
Your favorite is when you lost?
Tate Fletcher
Yeah, yeah, it was a good fight.
Adam Carolla
That means you like fighting.
Tate Fletcher
Exactly.
Jason Mayhem Miller
I don't know if you watched the sport during his era, man, this guy gave us some of the best fights.
Adam Carolla
I know, I know. All right.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Just making sure.
Adam Carolla
I fucked up with the King and the Dean, but, you know, I did it, too.
Jason Mayhem Miller
I've done it before.
Dawson
Yeah, he's transitioning to the dean of screen.
Adam Carolla
The Dean of Screen. That's good. Kill Me Again is the name of the movie. Yeah. You wrote and directed, right?
Tate Fletcher
Yeah, I did everything. Wrote, directed, produced, begged for money. I did all that.
Adam Carolla
It's a process, bro.
Jason Mayhem Miller
It looks good. I saw the trailer. Looks amazing. I can't believe the production value.
Tate Fletcher
Yeah, man, it's cool. It's Groundhog Day, basically. But it's from the perspective of a serial killer. Like Bill Murray's a serial killer.
Adam Carolla
It's basically that it looks real good. I don't know how, but I could also see, as a guy who's made a few films, I was like, oh, I see. The idea is to make it look good by not having tons of locations and tons of stuff that you have to pay for. And so you figured this one out.
Tate Fletcher
You know, that's why I got some other scripts that people are interested in, all that. And, like. But I'm not going to direct these scripts, right? Because I don't have any background. I did a short that did really well, but who cares? So that's why. Okay, well, what can I do? This is the end of the actors strike, right? So nobody's working. So what can I do real quick? And I can raise money. I can do this thing and keep it mostly in one. Just a few locations. And that's how the time loop thing came to me. And I wanted to make it interesting and fun. Something's never done. And I got this idea, like, I can't believe this has never been done before. Like, this is. This is amazing. And just. Just float out.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Yeah, yeah.
Adam Carolla
So it just came to you?
Tate Fletcher
Yeah, yeah.
Adam Carolla
This serial killer sort of groundhog thing.
Tate Fletcher
I just put myself in a position of somebody and walk in his shoes, and he kind of tells me where it goes.
Adam Carolla
Figure out the name of the guy who saved the guy who killed Mark. David Chavin. And the money is. I don't know what the budget was. It looked good, but it's also today with digital and editing and stuff, you can do things cheaper that are. Well, I mean, in a weird way, it's almost like taking pictures with Your iPhone, you go, jeez, that's a beautiful picture. Yeah, I took it with my phone. You know what I mean? You can do it now.
Tate Fletcher
But I did this the old fashioned way. I got world class crew doing this. People used to doing 50, $100 million movies in New Mexico. But like I said, it was the end of the actors strike. Nobody's working, and I'm trying to get the SAG waiver and all that stuff. And we once SAG stopped the strike, we shot the week after that. And so everybody was happy for a job and to work for whatever rate.
Jason Mayhem Miller
So you had corralled that crew before the actor strike was over. And then as soon as it came free, boom.
Tate Fletcher
God damn.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Started working.
Tate Fletcher
Talk about stress too, man. I don't even have the waiver yet. I don't even have the money. I got people hired. I'm doing this thing and it's just the world that's going to come together, man.
Jason Mayhem Miller
So you like did that. If you build it, they will come sort of deal, huh?
Tate Fletcher
1,000%.
Adam Carolla
Really?
Tate Fletcher
Yeah.
Dawson
And also that's the way the script came up too. It's like, he's like, I gotta have a script that's in one location. How can I do this in a way that'll be compelling for everybody?
Jason Mayhem Miller
Like seat of the pants. Wait, so the financiers came in late. Then you had like all everybody lined up.
Tate Fletcher
You know, people say they got money and people say they're gonna do it and all that. And like when you start like, okay, where's the money? Like, well, you know.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Adam Carolla
Well, you know, there is a thing about making an independent movie, and it's a lesson in life. I think it'll apply to almost everything. You just have to start doing it. Just start doing it. And I made an independent boxing movie and I made it my first year. I took over for Howard Stern on the west coast and syndicated radio. And I remember sitting in my car and my agent, who they don't want you to. Nobody wants you to make these movies because they don't make any money off them. You don't really make any money. So don't do that, you know, don't do that, right? And he goes, he goes, you really think it's a good idea to be making a. Shooting a film? You just took over for Howard Stern and blah, blah, blah, you think this is a good time to make an independent film? And I just said, there's never a good time to make an independent film. So if that's never Then the answer is anytime. Because the answer is never. Because there's never. It never makes sense. There's never enough money. There's never enough time. You just have to push.
Tate Fletcher
And you see all the. We know so many people in this business that have a script in their back pocket. They've been trying to make this movie for two, five years, whatever, and this is their thing that's. We're gonna make them. And it's like, like, what are you waiting for? Right? Like, you just gotta go, you gotta make something you can do. Like, and I got like five scripts out that are different levels, but make it cheaper. How to make it cheaper, how to make it. How do I make it cheaper? And how to make something I can do. And that. That's where this came up. And. But it doesn't look cheap, though.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Yeah, no, it doesn't. That's what I was saying. Yeah, you could call it cheap, but, man, you know, the. Every money deals, every dollar is spent too cheap.
Tate Fletcher
In the movie world is different though, people.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, it's not like used cars. Cheap is. I mean, I don't know. I don't know what it is anymore. But look, if you call a million bucks cheap, then I guess that's, that's where we're at.
Tate Fletcher
And I got, I got super lucky with Brendan Ferret. Amazing, amazing actor. Like, there's not too many people that could pull off what he did, man. It's super dark and twisted and. And we beat him to death through this, through this thing, man. And he really came through and pulled it off, man.
Jason Mayhem Miller
How long did it take to shoot the whole movie?
Tate Fletcher
We shot it in 12 nights.
Dawson
The whole crew got on board about nights. They, Everybody got stoked the whole way through. There's like so much goodwill that Keith has built over the years in New Mexico and La Cruz, and we've been around these people all the. It's just like the MMA world in that way. You're going to pull up and you're like, all your friends are like, let's pull up to the. And we'll go. And you don't know how it goes, but you get good at. You either trust like you're a problem solver or you're gonna let that stop you. And so it's just like, well, throw your hat over the fence and let's go get it.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, it ends up working out. I've found, like, if there was ever everyone I know who's successful at something, they just kind of went, we're doing it, you know, What? I mean, like, I remember. I don't know why I always think about this, but. But me and Jimmy Kimmel, a million years ago, we'd go to New York once in a while for, I don't know what, the upfronts or whatever. I don't know if they still have those now. And then he'd always go, we gotta go to Little Italy. And we go to Little Italy. And then he go, you know, they have a feast of San Gennaro here. And I go, yeah, all right. And he goes, we need a feast of San Gennaro in la. And I'd go, well, all right. Good luck. I don't know. I don't. I can't. How do you start a feast, you know? And he goes. And we got back to our offices, and he's like, we gotta start the feast of San Gennaro. And I was like, okay. Six months later, we had the feast of San Gennaro, and five years later, they're closing off streets and bringing in, you know, Ferris wheels, and Shaq Shoe was getting auctioned off by Tommy Lasorda, and people were vibing to serve in slices and shut down the whole half of Hollywood. And I'm like, I guess you can do stuff if you. If you want. Yeah. I mean, the moral of the story is whether you're starting a coffee brand or making an independent film, whatever. Feast the engineer, just go get some. Just go. Just go get going. And by the way, don't ask people if it's a good idea. It's never a good idea.
Tate Fletcher
So many people told me, like, really good directors, like, man, I'd be nervous to do this. This script and all that, like. And almost, like, trying to talk me down. I'm like, what? Yeah, yeah. For me, like, and, like, the problems we had with, like, the schedule and the line producer saying, I've never seen buddy do this many pages in a day, but here you go. Good luck.
Jason Mayhem Miller
So what were the problems on the.
Adam Carolla
You know what I'm saying?
Jason Mayhem Miller
Like, what. What came up that you didn't expect?
Dawson
AD left on the second day or third day in. I mean, we had stuff fill holes right away. I mean, getting the SAG signatory before two days before or something like that, so that we could go. Even we had. We were obligated already with all the money when we didn't really have all the money yet. Like, there's all the things.
Tate Fletcher
There's the things, too, is like, where, you know, when you got to get this scene and you're putting you got to find out the scene and it connects. It's a really important scene. How are we going to get the scene? And you realize you don't have time to get this scene. So how are we going to make this thing up and create a scene to make this. This movie work?
Jason Mayhem Miller
Oh, really? Like riding on the fly.
Tate Fletcher
On the fly with your actor and he's got to pull this off and like, hey, Brandon, we'll have to add. They've just saying. And walk here, here. You're going to say this and just. And just go. And it ends up being your favorite scene in the movie. You know, like that. That's great.
Jason Mayhem Miller
What about effects? And I. I know that I thought I saw some practical effects in there.
Tate Fletcher
We got some practical effects which. Which is something that we got a lot, lot. A lot of. Vince Rose, the. The post effects were amazing on this, man. You like bad blood splatter or whatever like it is. The movie's ruined all.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Is it gory or like, what?
Tate Fletcher
It's fun.
Adam Carolla
There's a fair bit of stabbing going on as far as I could tell. It's the slasher, then. All right.
Tate Fletcher
The slasher is fun, man. It's super fun, man. It's everything. It's dark, twisted, psychological thriller, slasher fun. You laugh. People laugh throughout the whole thing, is there.
Adam Carolla
I mean, you got, you know, here's what I've found in the business a lot. There's a lot of. If you did this, you can't do that, you know, like. And you get put in some weird place, a box, you know, and so you'll feel it. When I started making documentaries, like, you're not. You don't make documents. Come on. You're fucking idiot. From the Valley. We make documentaries, you know. Oh, you are?
Tate Fletcher
Yeah. Congo Park.
Adam Carolla
Oh, shit. A hunter.
Tate Fletcher
Yeah, that's right. That's right.
Adam Carolla
And so MMA is, you know, I'm the douche from the man show, but at least I'm in business. Show business, mma. You want to do what? Douche from the Valley. You're from Canoga Park.
Tate Fletcher
Canoga Park.
Adam Carolla
Hi.
Tate Fletcher
Than La. Pierce.
Adam Carolla
Oh, Pierce. You must play football, right?
Tate Fletcher
That's right.
Adam Carolla
You're a big guy. We played. Oh, we played high school. Well, wait a minute. Let's see. How old are you? Was Canoga any good when you were playing there?
Tate Fletcher
Yeah, yeah, we had a couple good years, and then it kind of fell off.
Adam Carolla
I think after that, Canoga won.
Tate Fletcher
Wrestling was big.
Adam Carolla
The championship in football, like, when I was in high school. I'm older Than you. It was Van Nuys. Canoga and Canoga would kick the shit out of us.
Tate Fletcher
I've heard those stories. Van Nuys kicked the shit out of us, though.
Adam Carolla
Oh, Van Nuys kicked the shit out of you guys? Yeah, yeah. It was like Canoga, Van Nuys, and, I don't know, 10 other teams and then us and then.
Tate Fletcher
Yeah, I was listening to you on KROC back in those days. Oh, really early 90s. Yeah.
Adam Carolla
I worked at a cabinet shop in Canoga park on Owensmouth, or Owen's mouth is. Oh, yeah. Of course, Canoga was a little out in the sticks back then.
Tate Fletcher
Yeah. I was right. On Topanga and Sherman Way. That's where I lived.
Adam Carolla
Oh, you had to fight your way out of that place.
Tate Fletcher
I had to cross that bridge in the school. I don't know you know about that, but I was just a dummy from. From Oregon.
Adam Carolla
Right.
Tate Fletcher
Moved to live with my dad. And there's this famous bridge that crosses the wash in the back of the school. And, like, the handball courts are there. And, like, all the. The local Canoga, I think they call it cpa or some of the local gangsters would be there and they'd. Who's this dumb white kid just walking, walking right by us like he doesn't care? And I walk home, too. Walk down the street sometimes, walking with all my football gear. Hey, guys. You know how they hang out on the porch and all that? Hey, guys, how you doing? Like, who's this dumb, crazy white kid?
Adam Carolla
There's. But you were. You were big and strong back then, though, right? I mean, you are now, but, I mean, you.
Tate Fletcher
Yeah, I was a big Oz in the right. Wrestling was my security back then.
Adam Carolla
Oh.
Tate Fletcher
Cause I come from Oregon, where wrestling was big.
Adam Carolla
There's a funny. I don't know if you've ever seen this video, but. Yeah. So my first Foreman or one of the guys I worked for, Tom Johnson, lived in Canoga Park. His dad had an industrial shop there, and I used to go there and build cabinets. And, like, I'd go to Canoga park all the time. I grew up in North Hollywood. I just. I hated the Valley. It was just so hot. It was hot. No one had air. No one in my family had had air in their car or air in their house. So it was just sweating. Playing football and just sweating.
Tate Fletcher
We'd go stand in the banks because of the air conditioner.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. I had a guy. You want to talk about? I played a year at LA Valley College. Yeah, we played Valley, I'm sure, because canoga was. I mean, Pierce, that's a weird thing.
Tate Fletcher
Like every JC has like their own little gang where Valley would represent something, you go to Compton, they'd represent somebody and whatever. And there'd be like gang signs across the, across the line of scrimmage. And it was a weird experience. And I played against some killers like Keyshawn Johnson at West LA and people like that.
Adam Carolla
Oh, the junior. Junior college was better than a lot of four year programs.
Tate Fletcher
Yes.
Adam Carolla
I found there was a story. I can figure this out. It's a pop my head. But like, like there was at Santa Monica at one time they had Ochocinko at Santa Monica Junior College and another all pro wideout before they got to the pros. And they were just playing at Santa Monica Junior College.
Tate Fletcher
Because of grades?
Adam Carolla
Yeah, because of grades. And I was like, I got recruited to play football at little schools and I was like, I'm too dumb, but I'll go to Valley College for a year or something, then I'll just transfer, but I'll just mop up with these junior college boys over here. And I went over there, got my ass kicked, got the shit kicked out of me. I was like, what the fuck? I thought this was junior college. It's like, oh, no it ain't. We got a bunch of dumb guys that are good. Yeah, the smart guys left. Yeah. So that, yeah, they competed at a high level. And I was like. Like I was not up to that, but I had. It was so hot that at practice there was a guy. We had a big guy. Well, a couple big guys. We had a big guy on the team and there was no shade anywhere. So I took a knee behind him. Like I got in tight and I got down and I got in the dude's shadow. And then of course, the dude stepped back and tripped over me. Wonder what the fuck I was doing. Which was kind of funny.
Tate Fletcher
So nobody messed with me really. They just kind of left me alone because they knew I was wrestling, I was a, whatever, LA champion and all that. And they heard that. And then one of the first weeks, they set up a little wrestling match with me in one of the second year defensive linemen.
Adam Carolla
Oh, really?
Tate Fletcher
Oh, yeah, yeah. And I made a fool of them in the middle of the locker room. And so it was good after that.
Adam Carolla
I don't remember North Hollywood High having wrestling.
Tate Fletcher
No? No.
Adam Carolla
Who did you guys see? Cause it would work this way where you'd go well in football. You'd play Canoga park and you'd play El Camino and you'd play Van Nuys, but in baseball you'd play Sun Valley and Sylmar or something. You'd play different teams and different sports, you know. So who would you wrestle?
Tate Fletcher
Burbank, El Camino? Oh, San Pedro. There's a lot of schools that did it. Yeah, but. Yeah, it wasn't every school.
Adam Carolla
Sorry. Chad Johnson, Oshoschenko and Steve Smith both playing at the same time at a junior college. Wow. I know. And I always feel like there was some guy, some third wide out. His dad was pissed. Like you were gonna go here and then transfer to ucla. You can't even make. Make the starting team at the fucking Santa Monica Junior College, bro. It's like, well, I got two NFL hall of Famers in front of me, but we don't know it.
Tate Fletcher
I got a good story. So we played west la. And you know how they send their game tapes?
Adam Carolla
What position, sir, were you playing?
Tate Fletcher
I was a linebacker.
Adam Carolla
Inside or outside?
Tate Fletcher
Inside. Yeah.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. That seems like a good place for you to be.
Tate Fletcher
So they would send the game tapes and the game tape. The beginning of every game tape would just be like a Keyshawn Johnson highlight film where he's like running back. Like he'd run back a kickoff return for a touchdown and go past the end zone and get himself a drink at the snack shack.
Dawson
Really?
Tate Fletcher
And all that. Like. Yeah, it just like he would block a field goal and run and just jump over the pile and jump up and knock the ball down. Like it was just like he'd dunk it. Yeah, that was like a highlight.
Adam Carolla
Oh, block.
Tate Fletcher
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Adam Carolla
Keyshawn. Yeah. So all these dudes were from out. I mean, my baseball team in high school played Daryl Strawberry's baseball team. I mean, so you're sitting around going, what the fuck is going on? How come I'm not better? And it's like, well, cuz that's Daryl Strawberry. But no one knows it's Daryl Strawberry. I don't know. Somebody said, I saw a thing. It said, what's a piece of trivia information you have in your head that no one else knows? And I thought, I know the first stadium. Darryl Strawberry, the first major league stadium. Daryl Strawberry hit a home run and people go, well, he went to the Mets and then they played. He was in the national whatever league. And he would have played. I'm like, no, no, Dodger Stadium. Because I was there. Because his team played the runner up game to our team in the championship. And that fucker hit a home run in high school at Dodger Stadium. That guy went to Dodger Stadium. He went to a major league park one time and hit a fucking dinger in high school. That had to be good for recruiting, right? Like one fucking game. You got a home run confidence through the roof. Yeah.
Tate Fletcher
So you played baseball, Football?
Adam Carolla
Yeah. We didn't have wrestling. I probably would have liked to do it, but I don't think we had it. Yeah, I don't remember that.
Tate Fletcher
Yeah, yeah. That was a big deal for me. I wanted to wrestle, so that's why I chose Canoga, and then we moved to live in the area.
Adam Carolla
You chose Canoga? Why? Because Canoga had a good program.
Tate Fletcher
Just they had wrestling. I was coming from Oregon. I needed.
Adam Carolla
Oh, yeah, yeah. Like, you could have went to North Holland with no wrestling. Well, you could wrestle with your sexuality. I did a lot of that. You know, that's a sport, you know, sanctioned and whatnot. So then you go to Pierce Junior College and you play football?
Tate Fletcher
Yep.
Adam Carolla
For the Monarch. Is it a Monarch? No, that was. That was La Valley Brahma Bulls. Yeah. Yeah. And then you wrestle at Pierce as well?
Tate Fletcher
No, I didn't. I chose football over wrestling. I almost went to. What is that? Over wrestling is. Moore Park Junior College. I almost went there for wrestling, but I chose football instead.
Adam Carolla
Okay.
Tate Fletcher
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
And you're playing inside backer.
Tate Fletcher
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
And you're thinking about transferring somewhere?
Tate Fletcher
No, no, I got a scholarship to go to New Mexico, a small Division 2 college in New Mexico, and that's how I ended up in New Mexico. Mexico.
Adam Carolla
Oh, and do you wrestle there?
Tate Fletcher
No, no, I just. I was a big dummy. Like, I was done playing football and I just. I was coaching football. I was actually a defensive coordinator at the college, and I needed to compete still. And I had that drive in me. I started getting into bar fights, which isn't like me, you know, So I needed to do something. So I was just showing up to like, Like, Olympic training center in Colorado. I'm just showing up to, like, world class wrestling tournaments, like Olympic trials and things like that, and just getting smashed. The other coach. What are you doing? This is stupid. And I don't know. I just had to do it. I'd go to the Vegas Olympic trials, all that stuff.
Jason Mayhem Miller
I went to those that got smashed, too.
Tate Fletcher
You did, too?
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah.
Jason Mayhem Miller
The same Olympic trials?
Tate Fletcher
Yeah. We're probably the same one.
Jason Mayhem Miller
The same one, definitely.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Yeah.
Tate Fletcher
But then the people that helped me get ready for that, I found a little club at the rec center that was doing jiu jitsu. And so I asked them if they'd help me get ready for the wrestling tournaments. And that was Greg Jackson. One of his students was teaching that and that's how I found mma.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Yeah, he happened onto that, that and then had a great UFC career.
Adam Carolla
Was. How many fights did you have before the ufc?
Tate Fletcher
Oh, about, I don't know, my. Eight maybe. Eight maybe.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Tate Fletcher
I was starting to. Do you get to a point where like my last fight for the UFC was in Russia. Like this crazy, crazy fight M1 in Russia where I armaged a guy that was like their champion. And they get mad when you do that. When they bring you into Japan or, or, or, or Russia, whatever they're bringing you into lose.
Adam Carolla
Right, right.
Tate Fletcher
And they'll do whatever to make you lose. Like oh, weigh ins are on the same day as a fight, all of a sudden. That kind of stuff. Yeah.
Adam Carolla
Really?
Jason Mayhem Miller
Yeah, they'll pull some sneaky tactics.
Adam Carolla
I'm pissed at them because of this whole tsunami bullshit. Still fuck me up. Forget the arm bar. I got arm bar by the Marooskis last night. I live on the beach so I was, you know, had to deal.
Tate Fletcher
Did you have to clear out or.
Jason Mayhem Miller
He had to listen to his girlfriend.
Adam Carolla
Let me give you. I was just give you a true story so you can understand my mentality toward the process of clearing out in general. Homes.com Some might say homes.com is the best home shopping site. Some would be me. I agree with that statement. But maybe that homes.com's super comprehensive and transparent agent directory. That's what a lot of people like about it. Or Maybe it's that homes.com is the only site that always directly connects you with the listing agent who knows the home the best. Or perhaps just Perhaps it's because homes.com has the most in depth neighborhood content of any home shopping site that's extensively researched to highlight the personality of of each neighborhood. Homes.com goes above and beyond to bring home shoppers the in depth info they need to find the right home. Homes.com We've done your homework.
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Adam Carolla
I was playing a college with Dr. Drew many many years ago. We were in a hotel in town. I had noticed when we came back from the gig at night there's a lot of prom Guys wandering around in like tuxedos, drinking and stuff. I took note. I went to my room on the second or third floor, and at four in the morning, I heard the fire alarm go off. And I sat my underpants in that hotel room and I looked out my window and I saw everybody filing out in their bathrobes and their underwear, sweatpants, onto the lawn, freezing in the middle of the night, 4am and I just looked at them and I went. I don't know if there's a fire or not, but I don't really want to get dressed and go at four in the morning and stand on that lawn. We're in Nebraska or something. It's freezing. And I thought, but there could be a fire. But then I thought, we also saw a lot of drunken jack offs wandering around this fucking hotel drunk. It could be one of those ass wives. I would have done that, you know, when I was 17. So then I looked over and I saw a chair next to a table. And I picked it up and it had some heft to it. And I thought, if this shit really goes down, I can throw this chair through that window. I could jump out of this window. I could land on that shrub, and I might be a little bit fucked up, but I would not burn in this hotel. And I thought, that's enough. I went back. I didn't fall asleep immediately, but I went back. I went back to bed. And then later on, I made fun of Drew when I saw him the next day. Because I was like, I saw your ass out there, sucker. Sucker. If I was on the ninth floor, I wouldn't have done it. But I was on. I had about 22ft, I figured. And I saw shrub. I was like, I could do this.
Tate Fletcher
You know that?
Adam Carolla
So that's. That's my mentality. He's a gambler, man. Tsunamis. I'm not saying never, but I'm saying sure. I'm not. I'm not leaving Chess.
Dawson
You're gonna be measured about it.
Adam Carolla
Gonna be measured? Yeah. Measured.
Tate Fletcher
That reminds me, keeping the things in the valley. That reminds me of the Northridge earthquakes.
Adam Carolla
Oh, yeah.
Tate Fletcher
At 4:31 in the morning. Whatever. The big earthquake that.
Adam Carolla
That hit you. Yeah, yeah.
Jason Mayhem Miller
What happened to you guys?
Adam Carolla
Well, it was in. It was in Canoga. I mean, it was right in there.
Tate Fletcher
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Wow.
Adam Carolla
You were epicenter manner.
Tate Fletcher
Yeah, yeah, right.
Adam Carolla
What happened, man?
Tate Fletcher
Just. Just, man, like you, we all felt earthquakes before. And like, you just see her in the bed and it starts, oh, it's an earthquake. And then like, oh, it's a real earthquake. And, like, you. You never know when it's going to end, right? And it just keeps picking up intensity. Intensity. And, like, if it's this big here, too, like, we're thinking. I'm thinking, like, is LA like rubbish right now? Like, what's going on?
Adam Carolla
And you're from Oregon, so you don't really know from earthquakes. Were you in high school at that point?
Tate Fletcher
Yeah, yeah, I've had a few of them. Yeah. Yeah, But. But, I mean, I was in my underwear, too, and it was like that kind of thing, running out of the house in your underwear and all that.
Adam Carolla
Did you. So it was right in Northridge, Canoga Parky, you know, that's right where the sort of epicenter. And then I was in La Canada renting a house with three dudes at the time. So it hit pretty good where I was from. But I used to do earthquake rehab for a living as a construction worker. And so I kind of tore apart a lot of houses and did a lot of rehab work on commercial buildings, like old brick buildings and stuff. So I was real familiar with earthquakes. So I was kind of like a guy who's a shark expert and someone goes, there's a shark. And I go, no, don't worry about it. They're not interested in you, you know, but there's still some thoughts. But you're kind of cool with it. So I was that way with earthquakes. And I had my girlfriend with me, and not my tsunami girlfriend, but my earthquake girlfriend. I got a flood and a fire girl, too, and she slept over, and she was from Minnesota, and she's like, holy shit. Holy. And I was like, don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. We get this shit. Everything's gonna be fine. There's no problems. Went back to her apartment. It was condemned. Her work was condemned, too, because she was right on. On Ventura Boulevard. She was right on the river. It followed the LA river, basically, is what happened. And she was right there, her work and her apartment. So that was bad. That was a bad time for me.
Tate Fletcher
Yeah, I remember they had, like, buses on every street for, like, street lights for the next two days because there's no electricity. And they would just turn on their lights and it'd be the street lights.
Adam Carolla
Oh, really? Were you guys just living in a single family, like, ranch house?
Tate Fletcher
Yeah, it was me and my dad in a little apartment. Apartment building. But by the high school, we moved right next to the high school and. Yeah, yeah. And just, like, what you said, though, like, everybody was sleeping at the high school and like sleeping in like tents and sleeping outside and all that. And we thought about it before.
Dawson
It was cool.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Tate Fletcher
We thought about it for a second and then.
Adam Carolla
Nah, nah.
Tate Fletcher
We're just gonna go sleep inside.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Well, here's what I found with my vast valley and earthquake experience. The people that I would see. Cause right in this neighborhood, you see people pitching a tent on the lawn of their apartment. Their apartment is fine. But they're not going back in because they're freaked out. Those people are usually from places that get devastated by earthquakes. So South America, Central America, everything Hispanic. They build everything out of masonry. There is no wood framing there. Everything's cinder block, everything is cement. You see those places? Earthquake hits, that boom. Devastation. So they're devastated. They're from a place where you get crushed during an earthquake. So they're not going back in the apartment. Now, the apartment building was built here and it's two by fours and shear wall and plywood and stucco and k lath and drywall and it's not fucking going anywhere. But they don't care because they're so freaked out. Because they come from a place of devastation.
Tate Fletcher
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
So they go along and then, you know, I make fun of them.
Tate Fletcher
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
And that's how it goes. But that's you and your stoic dad. You went back into your dad's back. What's your dad do for a living?
Tate Fletcher
He was a miner and I did a little bit of that with him. He Montana all over. He was a minor and he moved. He followed his girlfriend to LA and became a plumber in la. So we have a little synergy there too. Like, I spent my summers digging up front yards and doing all that.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, yeah, looking. Looking for that. Looking for the main line.
Tate Fletcher
Yeah, yeah. And dad would always be like, because you're working with, with the hired. Hired help, you know, and all that. And like, he'd be like, hey, you going to let that guy out work you?
Adam Carolla
Yeah, I should. The answer is yes. I, I. All the. I had a guy named Art Fuss when I should do carpet cleaning.
Tate Fletcher
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
And he'd get the wand out and he'd be like, you can really work on your deltoids and your traps if you really work it hard. I was like, give me that wand. And I was like, he was just fooling me into fucking working. Yeah, I know. Now I'm at the age where everyone can outwork me. I don't care. But digging, looking for that mainline. That's right.
Tate Fletcher
That's right.
Adam Carolla
I tell people all the time, I go, you've dug and planted like a dwarf lemon tree in your backyard, but you don't know what it's like to dig four, nine out hours, right? That's dig and then come back the next day and keep digging. Like literally ditch digger. Like when people threaten you like you're gonna have a shitty job, they say ditch digger. They don't really physically mean ditch digger, but there's a job and it sucks.
Tate Fletcher
There's a bit of an art to it too.
Adam Carolla
Oh yeah? Yeah.
Tate Fletcher
Like you just can't just dig straight down. You got to dig. Like you can't be the guy digging a crummy, crummy trench, right?
Adam Carolla
I, I did so much fucking dude digging sites. I hated it, man. It drove me nuts. And by the way, this is pre earbuds, pre whatever can of rock star energy drink just raw down with a hose. The hose is over there.
Tate Fletcher
100 and some degrees in the valley. Jumping somebody's pool.
Adam Carolla
And he didn't have all this where like these guys now they got ha. They have hats with fans built into them. And you had nothing. You had your shirt over your head. Like there was no shade. I see guys working now in the valley and they're digging and they're doing a thing with the plumbing and they put a little pop up shade thing on there. And I'm like, of course, of course. You just work in the shade. Yes, be in the shade. We didn't have fucking gloves. Like, they didn't have anything. You just like, here's your shovel.
Tate Fletcher
No way. That's fine.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Your hands will adapt.
Adam Carolla
I would shower with the hose before I went home. I just go, let's take a hose shower.
Tate Fletcher
Oh, 100%. Would you get the little hose and do the whole thing? Yeah, absolutely. But then you see, you talk about plumber. And then I want to do this, like, say it's just me and dad working on a job. And you tell them, please don't flush the toilet. Please don't flush the toilet. You see that water coming down the trench?
Adam Carolla
Oh, I floated one, I floated one to. There's a guy named Bob Joya. Look up Bob Joya. He was a plumber and he was out of Canoga Park. He was a friend of Tom Johnson. The guy was in Canoga Park. These are dudes, you know what I mean? Jet Ski dudes.
Phil Hanley
We're going to the lake.
Adam Carolla
A lot of lake going, you know, got a new pipe for the jet Ski. Everybody's driveway had a trailer and a Jet Ski and El Camino and it's just, dude, this is like white dude shit, you know. And Bob Joya was a plumber. And I was building a kitchen on my grandma's house, but I wasn't a plumber. And we needed to tie into the mainline clay back then.
Dawson
Oh, yeah, Bob's still around.
Adam Carolla
Is that Bob? Does it say plumber? Yep.
Dawson
President at Joya Plumbing.
Tate Fletcher
Oh, wow.
Adam Carolla
Well, he's still plumbing. Oh, he moved.
Dawson
Had to.
Adam Carolla
Bob's a good dude and he was nice. And I said, bob, I can't tie the main line. I'm putting a new line in my grandma's kitchen. We go under the main line. It's old clay pipe. You gotta y into it, you know. He said, all right, dug the ditch. My grandmother later fell in the ditch, by the way. It was about six foot deep, you know. And Bob went down in this ditch and he was trying to saw the clay pipe. It was falling apart, you know, said to do it real easy to put a Y in there. And he went in there and he just literally took the top off. It was like a trough. And I forgot he was in the hole because I couldn't even see him in there. And I went in, took a shit, and it floated down. And it stopped right there because he had all the crumbs. And all the busted up pipe was right there. And they don't realize you don't put that pipe at a steep angle. It's a slight angle just to carry the water, you know what I mean? You do it too steep, the water won't stay right. So it's a little angle. And there was enough busted up clay pipe to just have my shit rest to a stop. And Bob was in the hole. And Bob just started screaming in the.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Hole, your ass started vibrating through the toilet.
Adam Carolla
I heard, I heard his words through my anus. I'm sure if someone got hold of Bob Joy, he will tell you this story of coming to Adam Carolla's grandma's house in the valley.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Log of 72.
Tate Fletcher
Yeah, that was. Most of our job is replacing clay pipes.
Adam Carolla
Oh, really? Yeah.
Tate Fletcher
But then I just remember my dad's too. When it's full of water and all that, like, well, and just get right in there and get to work. Like, nah, nah. That's one thing.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. I mean, the thing about working on a shit filled clay pipe would suck if it was on a bench. But there's a hole. You're in the hole with the shit you're with. You are one with the Dookie and the clay and the, and everything that's in that hole, that's where the hose comes in. Handy. People don't, they don't dig a spacious hole. They dig a hole as big as they need to get the job done.
Tate Fletcher
That's what I was talking about, the art.
Adam Carolla
Right?
Tate Fletcher
You don't to want dig too much.
Adam Carolla
You don't.
Tate Fletcher
Too little.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. How'd you find them back then? Cuz, you know, now they have sonar and radar and you find cameras and they put down there. Back then you had to feel it out, right?
Tate Fletcher
Find out where it ties into the house and then go out in the yard and kind of. Nope, no. Let's try two feet over here.
Adam Carolla
You could do a lot of digging in the wrong spot.
Tate Fletcher
Exactly. Yeah.
Adam Carolla
Which is just digging.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Now.
Tate Fletcher
You do want vertical too, though.
Adam Carolla
And you don't know. I mean, I swear to God, my Grandma's just like five feet deep in there. It wasn't 19 inches from the top.
Tate Fletcher
It doesn't freeze here. Like, what's up with that? Right? Too.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. What's up? No frost line.
Tate Fletcher
Yeah, yeah.
Adam Carolla
So you had to dig. All right. But now you know that, that was a real job. And when people go, you know, with me, people go, you sure you want to add a third show at Naples? You know, that's a pretty long day. I go, that ain't shit. That ain'. Nothing. That's nothing. That's not even war.
Dawson
That perspective is crazy.
Adam Carolla
How many you got to have?
Dawson
It don't have that.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Oh.
Adam Carolla
They go, how soft are you? I'm standing on the stage with a beer in my hand and a microphone, getting paid, doing what you love. Doing what I love.
Dawson
What you wished you could have done when you.
Adam Carolla
I was in a hold, moving along so Bob Joy could finish his job. You know what I mean?
Dawson
I called my friend Bob over, and then I, I down his pipe.
Adam Carolla
You gotta sounds, you know, relatively gay, but I, I get the context. You gotta. But that's why everyone's gotta work at some point in their life. Because kids today, sorry, but they do not work. And they don't know what work is. And they, they think this is work. I was like, oh, you gotta work. And then you'll appreciate this. I, I, they're missing out on it.
Tate Fletcher
Yeah. And Jason gonna test this. I think it's an MMA now too. Because when we, when we were training, we just, we, we worked our ass off for the art, for the level. I want to find something about myself. I want to fight now people think I'm gonna make a lot of money. I'm gonna be Jon Jones.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Tate Fletcher
They don't. They don't have two jobs while they're. While they're training.
Dawson
Right after McGregor has. Look at the swarm of guys from that previous era that came back, go, no, I'm going to do this a little more. And it's never not a good idea, not for one of them. But when the money came up.
Tate Fletcher
Yeah, yeah.
Adam Carolla
Well, so now you gotta think, well, now MMA has become a sport versus a sort of. What it evolved into.
Dawson
I would say it was always a sport and now people recognize it as such.
Adam Carolla
Right? Yeah. No, but I mean, is. No more. Guys used to play tight end in college, and now he decided to pick this up. You're picking it up at a young age, and of course it's going to move fast. And it's sort of like women's MMA was kind of clumsy and weird and stilted and she doesn't. She's got. She can't punch, though. A good punch. Now they're. They're fighting. You know what I mean?
Tate Fletcher
I think that's why people liked it at the beginning. That's why women were so hot right now, because they were really. At the beginning, because they were so raw and rough and they were just.
Adam Carolla
Fighting, you know, and they're meaner than even the Dean.
Jason Mayhem Miller
The enthusiasm level would far outpace the. The skill level.
Tate Fletcher
Exactly. Yeah.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Dawson
But now that they're. They're able to fight under consequence on TV against other people that are highly skilled, the skill level's gone through the roof, too. I mean, you look at the efficacy of any athlete and they're. They're athletes. It's not differentiated.
Adam Carolla
But the, The. The men's MMA skill has gone up in 25 years dramatically.
Dawson
Wrestler came in, and then he'd put together some other things. Oh, I can punch now. Or whatever. Or a puncher would come in. I learned how to.
Adam Carolla
To.
Dawson
And you could be like that. And now kids from 8 years old are hitting M. Slick.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. You just. Yeah. You're not just a kid.
Dawson
South Kakalaki that comes out and has a dream to go to la.
Tate Fletcher
And they're from Russia.
Adam Carolla
They're from Russia. Yeah. And they're missing a mustache.
Dawson
On their T shirt.
Adam Carolla
You know what? I'm gonna tell my son, you know, he's a puss. I mean, let's. You know, let's. Well, look, he's 19. He's. I don't mean he's a puss, but I mean, he doesn't have.
Dawson
We understand the vernacular.
Adam Carolla
I'll show you some. I'll show you some hands, guys. We got me boxing over there. I'll show you. I'll show you a little bit of. I'll show you a little bit of the ace man in the prime. Let's see. No way. It's not working right. Might have to start it over again right inside. Terry Clavon.
Phil Hanley
It's so easy to tell what a.
Tate Fletcher
Good boxer looks like because, like, your arms aren't moving that much. Like everything. Everything you see there is your body moving like you're hitting him with your shoulders, you know, like. Like.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Technique.
Tate Fletcher
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Terry was funny. Terry'd go. Terry Clavon. He'd go. The boxing, sports, it's about putting faces in seats that give mean asses and seats. But. All right, I. I know where you're going with this. Now. My son doesn't have the hand skills his dad had. But how about the balance? I know. No, it doesn't have that either. But you know what I think?
Jason Mayhem Miller
What about the powers of recall?
Adam Carolla
I got a. A better plan. I got a better plan for him. I'm just gonna tell him, look, this. You gotta. You gotta grow mennonite beard, shave the mustache and put on this tap out shirt, okay? And just walk around. No one's gonna with you. Just grow beard, shave the mustache, put the tap out shirt on. And I also have. Put a little hat on, a little fake cauliflower ear. I can stick. Stick on there. The worst.
Dawson
I'm sure they sell those.
Adam Carolla
And you pick up a whatever Stan accent and you just walk around. Just keep to yourself. No one will fuck with you. You understand?
Dawson
At some time he's gonna come to a place in his life where he's like, I wanna find out more about who I am.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, and his whole shit'll change. I'll see. You're from crack, Pakistan. Put this fur hat on. Put the fur hat on and just walk around. Everyone will leave you alone. Cause that's where these guys are all coming from now, right? Jesus Christ.
Dawson
Bears when they're kids and all that?
Adam Carolla
No, let me give a plug. And by the way, the coffee's coming back, right? Caveman Coffee.
Dawson
Yes, sir.
Adam Carolla
I'm drinking it right now. Where do you go to find the Caveman coffee?
Dawson
Caveman coffee.com.
Adam Carolla
Drinking the cold brew right now. It's really fucking good.
Dawson
Yeah, Full line of beans and cold brew. And we got some protein drinks coming out shortly.
Adam Carolla
Oh, good. The movie. Kill Me Again, great title. Well, very, very good. Very well done, Keith. Great job. We look forward to having you back with other projects.
Tate Fletcher
Thanks, brother.
Adam Carolla
Good to talk to a Valley. Valley dude, man. And by the way, there's the Valley. Like, there's Encino, Studio City, and then there's Canoga Park. Canoga park is the Valley. Wait a minute. Find. Hold on, I'm not done. Find the Canoga Park. Remember, Dawson, the travel video? The guy would do Canoga Park. There was this guy. I can't remember his name. I think I've talked to him before where he would do videos. Like, it was a fun 80s travel video, but he would do it on Canoga park or whatever. Have you ever seen one of those? It'll make. It'll make you laugh because you. You. For those who are around the country, want to get a little idea of Canoga park, we can. I feel like that would be a.
Dawson
Good space for you.
Tate Fletcher
Mayhem.
Adam Carolla
Oh, yeah, that's good. Yeah. Check out Canoga Park. Yeah, you'd fit right in.
Tate Fletcher
There we go.
Adam Carolla
Come on down and stay for a while. Community neighbors always land more strip clubs.
Tate Fletcher
Than schools or churches.
Adam Carolla
Main export, pornography. When your car gets jacked, you might find it here or here. Or in the stolen used car lot. Come see the mayor's house. There he is. Right across from the LA River. It's filled with shopping cards. There it is.
Tate Fletcher
I live right there.
Adam Carolla
The high school.
Tate Fletcher
That's right where I live. There's a high school.
Adam Carolla
Yep. I lived right there.
Tate Fletcher
You know what. You know what they're missing, though? They're missing the. I don't know if it's still there.
Adam Carolla
The.
Tate Fletcher
The Pussycat video on Sherman Way.
Adam Carolla
Oh, yeah. I don't know.
Tate Fletcher
That blew me away as a kid. Like, is it like a movie? A big, proper movie theater? That was.
Adam Carolla
You know, Pussycat was a big chain.
Tate Fletcher
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. My. My friend from high school got a job at one in North Hollywood. He was a mop guy, mostly sweeping mop. Sweeping mop, we called it.
Tate Fletcher
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. He took tickets the front, but there was only one.
Jason Mayhem Miller
What did he take in the back?
Adam Carolla
Oh, man. One of the guys I worked construction with, Russ, had a. Had one of those shirts. The best part about the construction guys, they'd have these great offensive T shirts. He had the. Like, McLean's Casino. And he'd. And it said liquor in the front, poker in the rear.
Dawson
Our titty bar in Santa Fe was Cheeks, and that was their. They had that and neon on the wall.
Adam Carolla
Love it. All right. All right. Good. Oh, I'm gonna be in Portland at the Helium. Not really working August 7th. Doing a couple shows there. I think I'm all over the place. Just go to amcrol.com for all the live shows. Thanks guys. It was fun getting caught up with you guys. And until next time, Zam Kroll is saying Mahala, pick up your phone and.
Mike Dawson
Leave us a voicemail message at 888-634-1744 and then get tickets to see Adam Corolla at AdamCorola.com.
Phil Hanley
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Adam Carolla Show: Comedian Phil Hanley’s Painful Battle with Dyslexia + Former UFC Fighter Keith Jardine Previews His New Movie
Release Date: July 31, 2025
In this captivating episode of The Adam Carolla Show, host Adam Carolla engages with two remarkable guests: Comedian and Author Phil Hanley and Former UFC Fighter Keith Jardine, who is now venturing into movie-making. The conversation delves deep into personal struggles with dyslexia, the journey to overcoming challenges, and insights into the worlds of comedy and mixed martial arts (MMA).
Phil Hanley: A seasoned comedian and author, Phil brings his unique perspective on fighting dyslexia and how it has shaped his career in comedy and writing.
Keith Jardine: Known as the "Dean of Mean" in the MMA arena, Keith transitions from his fighting career to discuss his new indie film project, "Kill Me Again", and the parallels between fighting and filmmaking.
Adam Carolla initiates the conversation by highlighting the guests' recent tours and upcoming projects. The focus soon shifts to dyslexia, a topic close to both Phil and Keith.
Adam Carolla ([03:06]): "I have a problem in life. My problem is I see things. It's really my biggest problem."
Keith Jardine ([05:14]): "I'd say anyone who's an adult who is dyslexic fell through the cracks of any color."
The dialogue explores the societal perceptions of dyslexia, especially the differing narratives based on race.
Keith emphasizes that dyslexia affects individuals across all backgrounds, challenging the notion that it's solely a personal deficit.
Both Adam and Keith share their personal battles with dyslexia, shedding light on the challenges and coping mechanisms they developed.
Adam Carolla ([14:52]): "But I'm white and generally smart. So I realized as I got older and I went through life and I was like, I don't really read."
Keith Jardine ([11:20]): "My mom would advocate. Every single year they tried to fail me and my mom. My dad's approach was, those sons of bitches. I pay their taxes. You're smarter than them."
Keith recounts his parents' unwavering support, ensuring he received the necessary education despite the school's initial resistance.
The conversation transitions to how both guests navigated their careers despite their reading challenges.
Keith Jardine ([16:39]): "Yeah, I do read now, too. But it took."
Adam Carolla ([17:10]): "Yeah, I learned how to do it."
Both acknowledge the progress they've made, with Adam highlighting his journey into radio and comedy without initially mastering reading.
Dyslexia's impact on their comedic styles becomes a focal point, illustrating how personal challenges can fuel creativity.
Adam Carolla ([15:41]): "But it affects all. It affects everything."
Keith Jardine ([16:02]): "No, it was. It was the most insane."
Adam shares anecdotes about struggling with scripts, leading to improvisational humor, while Keith discusses the meticulous effort required in activities like audiobook narration despite dyslexia.
Keith Jardine introduces his latest project, "Kill Me Again", an indie film that blends elements of a time loop with a serial killer narrative.
Keith Jardine ([73:43]): "Yeah, I did everything. Wrote, directed, produced, begged for money."
Adam Carolla ([74:19]): "So what happened is, in the past, you couldn't hand me a piece of paper..."
Keith elaborates on the challenges of independent filmmaking, including tight budgets, limited resources, and the creative process of developing a compelling script without extensive locations.
Keith delves into his MMA career, discussing the evolution of the sport and his personal experiences within it.
Tate Fletcher ([73:43]): "The Dean of Mean."
Adam Carolla ([73:18]): "So knowing your mustache, but how about the balance?"
Keith reflects on the technical skills required in MMA and the significant increase in skill levels over the years.
Adam and Keith share their philosophies on hard work, resilience, and the importance of pursuing one's passion despite obstacles.
Adam Carolla ([78:06]): "They wanted the white people to stay off campus. And he said no."
Keith Jardine ([66:39]): "Cause I'm fighting, I was. I knew I had to do it."
Adam emphasizes the importance of not waiting for the "perfect time" to pursue dreams, advocating for action despite uncertainties.
As the episode winds down, Adam thanks Phil Hanley and Keith Jardine for their candid discussions. The guests leave listeners with inspiring messages about overcoming personal challenges, the importance of persistence, and the joy of pursuing one's passions, whether in comedy, MMA, or filmmaking.
Notable Takeaways:
Resilience in the Face of Challenges: Both guests exemplify how personal struggles, like dyslexia, can be transformed into strengths through perseverance and creative adaptation.
The Intersection of Comedy and Adversity: Dyslexia has shaped their comedic styles, allowing them to connect with audiences on a deeper level through shared human experiences.
Independent Creativity: Keith's journey into filmmaking underscores the importance of taking risks and embracing the DIY spirit to bring unique stories to life.
The Evolution of MMA: The discussion highlights how MMA has matured as a sport, with increasing skill levels and professionalization enhancing its global appeal.
This episode is a testament to the power of candid conversations, offering listeners both laughs and profound insights into navigating life's hurdles with humor and determination.
Note: Timestamps correspond to moments within the provided transcript to attribute quotes accurately.