COVID Learning Losses + Drake Bell + Michael Malice

Summary

Adam Carolla Show – Episode Summary: COVID Learning Losses + Drake Bell + Michael Malice Release Date: February 17, 2025

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1. Introduction and Guest Overview

In this episode of The Adam Carolla Show, host Adam Carolla welcomes actor and musician Drake Bell and Michael Malice, the host of "You're Welcome" with Michael Malice. Additionally, Jason "Mayhem" Miller joins for news and trending topics segments.

Adam Carolla [02:35]:
"Today, Drake Bell has joined me in studio. Drake and Josh, of course, is where we know you from. Lots of acting roles, lots of Nickelodeon stuff. Probably a blessing and a curse. Nickelodeon."

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2. Music Industry Insights

Drake Bell and Michael Malice delve into Drake's musical career, particularly highlighting his unexpected popularity in Mexico. Michael shares his experiences touring there and discusses the differences in fan reception compared to the United States.

Michael Malice [04:06]:
"Back in 2006, I released my second album, and when we toured Mexico City, it was like the Beatles showing up to New York. People were literally chasing our cars and screaming our names."

Drake Bell [06:00]:
"It's hard to figure out how it works. Although, for some reason, Rio de Janeiro seems to be the place that goes the most nuts over the most artists."

The conversation transitions into discussions about various music genres, including rockabilly, punk rockabilly, and collaborations with notable musicians like Brian Setzer. They reminisce about iconic bands and the evolution of music styles over the decades.

Michael Malice [07:33]:
"All of my influences are on my sleeve. It's all lush Brian Wilson Beach Boys harmonies and Brian May Queen guitar solos. You can tell you’re influenced by 10 different artists."

They also touch upon the challenges of maintaining creativity in the music industry and the shift from persona-driven performances to more authentic interactions.

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3. Michael Malice’s Experience with Abuse in Nickelodeon

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to Michael Malice sharing his harrowing experience with molestation on the set of a Nickelodeon show. He recounts the abuse by a dialogue coach during his time as a child actor and the subsequent lack of accountability within the industry.

Michael Malice [50:37]:
"I broke my jaw in three places, knocked out all my teeth, and had my face wired shut for five months. It was brutal, but thankfully I received great medical help."

He further discusses the investigation process, including the discovery of numerous letters from prominent celebrities defending the abuser, highlighting a systemic issue of protecting perpetrators over victims.

Michael Malice [56:09]:
"They wrote 41 letters in support of him, from people like James Marsden and Alan Thicke, saying they never felt uncomfortable around him. It's wild."

The discussion underscores the challenges victims face in seeking justice and the pervasive culture of silence that often surrounds such abuses.

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4. Political Commentary on COVID and Media

Drake Bell and Jason Mayhem Miller engage in a robust critique of the government's handling of the COVID-19 pandemic, particularly focusing on school closures and their impact on children from marginalized communities.

Drake Bell [75:01]:
"You closed the beaches, threw kids out of school for long periods, and wondered why kids are trailing by half a grade level. It’s all economic, not about public good."

They express frustration with political figures like Gavin Newsom and Dr. Anthony Fauci, accusing them of incompetence and deliberate harm.

Jason Mayhem Miller [76:29]:
"Dr. Fauci has been irresponsible for decades, from AIDS to COVID. There's no accountability in this system."

The conversation extends to media criticism, where they condemn mainstream outlets for perpetuating misinformation and protecting the status quo.

Michael Malice [63:48]:
"The corporate press continues to sweep child abuse under the rug, leaving no room for accountability or justice."

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5. Employer and Workplace Trends

The hosts discuss evolving workplace dynamics, contrasting past structures with contemporary trends that emphasize flexibility, sometimes at the expense of accountability.

Drake Bell [118:30]:
"Time cards used to keep everyone in line. Now, with no accountability, people just float in and out, making excuses for absences."

They lament the decline of structured work environments, advocating for systems that ensure productivity and responsibility, such as reinstating time clocks or stricter attendance policies.

Jason Mayhem Miller [121:08]:
"When Trump eliminated remote work benefits, it forced employees to be present, eliminating the excuses that lead to decreased productivity."

Furthermore, they critique modern workplace perks that may inadvertently foster irresponsibility, drawing parallels to their earlier discussions on education and government.

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6. Conclusion and Final Thoughts

The episode wraps up with continued political discussions, emphasizing skepticism towards institutional power and advocating for personal accountability and freedom. Drake Bell expresses hope for more pragmatic leadership that prioritizes effective governance over bureaucratic stagnation.

Drake Bell [133:01]:
"I want to see leaders who focus on getting things done, not just maintaining the bloated status quo. It's time for real change."

Michael Malice praises the resilience of individuals fighting against systemic issues, while Jason Mayhem Miller underscores the importance of dismantling corrupt institutions to foster a healthier society.

The hosts conclude by inviting listeners to explore more content from their respective podcasts and expressing gratitude for the engaging discussions.

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Notable Quotes

• Michael Malice [04:06]:
  "Back in 2006, I released my second album, and when we toured Mexico City, it was like the Beatles showing up to New York. People were literally chasing our cars and screaming our names."

• Michael Malice [56:09]:
  "They wrote 41 letters in support of him, from people like James Marsden and Alan Thicke, saying they never felt uncomfortable around him. It's wild."

• Drake Bell [75:01]:
  "You closed the beaches, threw kids out of school for long periods, and wondered why kids are trailing by half a grade level. It’s all economic, not about public good."

• Jason Mayhem Miller [76:29]:
  "Dr. Fauci has been irresponsible for decades, from AIDS to COVID. There's no accountability in this system."

• Drake Bell [133:01]:
  "I want to see leaders who focus on getting things done, not just maintaining the bloated status quo. It's time for real change."

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Conclusion

This episode of The Adam Carolla Show offers a deep dive into personal trauma, the complexities of the music industry, and a scathing critique of governmental and media institutions. Through candid conversations and personal anecdotes, Adam Carolla, Drake Bell, and Michael Malice explore the intersections of fame, abuse, and societal challenges, providing listeners with a mix of humor, insight, and thought-provoking commentary.

Transcript

[Adam Carolla]

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[Drake Bell]

All right, in this episode, Drake Bell comes in here. Drake and Josh. Yeah, that guy tells a crazy story. A lot of music talk, but crazy story about molestation on the set and oh man, just harrowing. Anyway, interesting. Michael Malice will join us. Got some hot takes. Mayhem's doing the news and we'll do all that right after this. From Corolla One studios in Glendale, California, this is the Adam Carolla Show. Adam's guest today, actor and musician Drake Bell. And the host of you're welcome with Michael Malice. Michael Malice. Plus the news and trending topics with Jason Mayhem Miller. And now reminding you on President's Day that he called for most of these changes in his book president me 10 years ago, Adam Carolla. Yeah, get it on. Got to get on. There it is. Yeah. Dawson's not here today and Byron's not here today. So we're a little, and we got a light go out. So it's a little catches catch can around here. Today, Drake Bell has joined me in studio. Drake, I did not know how popular you were with the music, but we'll get into that. Drake and Josh, of course, is where we know you from. Lots of acting roles, lots of Nickelodeon stuff. Probably blessing and a curse. Nickelodeon.

[Michael Malice]

It's a good way of putting it. Yeah, yeah. I mean, definitely. I mean it's been amazing for my career and showcasing my music. You know, I got to write all the music for the show back in the day. And so it, it's really nice to be able to go out and tour and playing music that people are familiar with from the show and getting to not, you know, not having people hand me songs and tell me what to play on the show. And so it was a, it was it was a cool creative outlet and, you know, and obviously with a lot of the stuff that's kind of been uncovered in the past year or so. Yeah, I guess that would be kind of the curse side of things.

[Drake Bell]

Well, we'll get into the DOC at some point, but we'll stick to the happy notes. Yeah, for now, at least. We'll get out of the gate that way.

[Michael Malice]

What are you drinking?

[Drake Bell]

Oh, sorry. I'm drinking something with some green stuff and some stuff. I don't know.

[Michael Malice]

Is that good for you?

[Drake Bell]

It better be. Cause it tastes like shit. If it tastes like shit, it should be good for you. Definitely. Yeah. We may have to adjust the clock up there, which I'm looking at now. All right, so you. I was talking to someone here about just how popular your music was in Mexico and. And also trying to kind of figure out how things worked, because certain bands and certain artists are big here. Some are big everywhere, Some are big here and not as big there.

[Michael Malice]

Yeah, it's a wild thing. You know, I was watching an interview with Tina Turner years ago on Larry King, and Larry was blown away that she didn't live in the United States and that she was living in Europe and touring in Europe. And she's like, well, that's where my fans are. You know, I'm in bigger than the Rolling Stones in some places. You know, I'm bigger than Madonna in Europe, but not here in the States. And he's like, but you're a legend. And it's. It's interesting. I have friends of mine who. You have no idea who they are, but then they go to Japan and pack a stadium the size of, like, the Crypt, you know, and some things just hit. And back in 2006, I released an album. I released my second album, and we were touring here in the States and doing well. And then they booked me some shows in Mexico City, Guadalajara, Monterrey, like a. Like a Mexico run. And didn't really tell me anything about it. Just kind of booked the shows and we went out expecting kind of what we've been doing in the States, you know, thousand, five thousand. And we got out there, and the airport was like the Beatles showing up to New York. I mean, it was like, wow. We had no idea. People were chasing the cars. All of the interviews we were doing, people were all outside. I mean, it was like the Beatles. I mean, it was crazy, and I had no idea. And then we got to the venue, and I see the venue that we're playing, and I'm like, who are we opening for? I mean, this big venue, I mean, it's their Madison Square garden. It's like 10,000, 15,000 seats. And we sold out two shows that first day, and then all of the shows were selling out. We were playing huge arena. And the album, I was doing an interview, and they had me do some radio liners, and they said, can you thank the fans for keeping your song at number one and keeping your album at number one? And I'm looking at my. I'm like, wait, what? My al. They're like, yeah, you have the number one song in the country. I'm like, this is crazy. And so I just.

[Drake Bell]

In English.

[Michael Malice]

Yeah, yeah, in English, Yeah. Which is cool, because now that I've spent so much time down there and, like, really built this amazing fan base, and so now I do a bunch of songs in Spanish and release Latin music and do collabs with other Latin artists. And so, yeah, it's opened up this whole world that it's like, you know, you come back here and they ask you for your name at Starbucks, and then you go there and you can't walk around. It's wild.

[Drake Bell]

Yeah. It's hard to figure out how it works. Although, for some reason, Rio de Janeiro seems to be the place that goes the most nuts over the most artists.

[Michael Malice]

Yeah. I mean, they love rock and roll down there, you know, and that's the thing, too, is there's still a huge affinity for Beatles and Queen. And, you know, that stuff plays everywhere when you're down there. So they. It's not just. And what's really cool about audiences outside of the United States is when they're. Your fan, they'll go along. If you put out a polka album, you know, they're like, okay, oh, interesting. Let's see what he's doing with this. But here, it's kind of. Well, what's the next cool thing? You know? Oh, you know, they're always have. You know, it's. Is there the next album that comes out? It wasn't as good as their last album. It didn't have the. You know, everyone's wanted to, like. I don't know, there's like a. Everyone's too cool here, but outside the United States, they. It's. You know, I put out so many different types of music, and I put out a rockabilly album one year. I worked with Brian Setzer from the Stray Cats, and just.

[Drake Bell]

I like that guy.

[Michael Malice]

He's my favorite guitar player of all time. And I got to work with him and make. I just wanted to make A rockabilly record, just for fun. And I was playing shows out there, and people, you know, the fans were showing up, like pinup girls and greasers and leather jackets and, like, going with the whole vibe. And I'm like, this is. They just go along with it. It's really cool.

[Drake Bell]

So rockabilly, which was something. And then it went away and then came back with these stray cats and like, a couple of maybe fabulous Thunderbirds or something. Yeah.

[Michael Malice]

And then we had, like, the Blasters.

[Drake Bell]

The Blasters.

[Michael Malice]

They had that whole neo rockabilly 80s thing. And then it kind of resurfaced back in the early 90s, like, when the big band resurgence came along.

[Drake Bell]

You know who was a little bit rockabilly but not rockabilly, but a little bit punk rockabilly was the band I love X. I love Once Over Twice. You like that song?

[Michael Malice]

I love that band. I got to see them when I was younger at the. It used to be called the Galaxy in Orange county. And it was like Billy Zoom and Xene, and it was just.

[Drake Bell]

Yeah, yeah, it's true.

[Michael Malice]

And then they had the Knitters. Did you ever listen to the Knitters?

[Drake Bell]

Yes. The knitters are what Exene and, I don't know, John Doe. John Doe went on to do.

[Michael Malice]

But they had that song Wrecking Ball, which is really great.

[Drake Bell]

The thing. See, I had a chance to interview all these people back in the K Roc days, and I would always be sad when I'd be, like, a big fan of X, and then X scene would come in and be a bitch the whole time. And then I. Oh, I like the Cowboy Junkies. And then the Cowboy Junkies would come in and they'd be assholes. And I'd be like, aw, I always liked those guys. But then there were always the fun bands, the Boss Tones and Sugar Ray. Like the good dudes. Like the good hang dudes, the Offspring and stuff like that, where everyone had a sense of humor and everyone was fun.

[Michael Malice]

What a great band, man. That was. I was. I was watching. There was some TikTok I came across, and it was like, we grew up in the best era, and it just went through, like, people flipping through their CD cases and just stuff that we don't have anymore that the youth doesn't get to grow up with. And they were going through a bunch of those old bands like the Boss Tones and Offspring and all this. And I was like, man, we just. We had a great run of music in that time.

[Drake Bell]

Yeah, I don't want to sound all old, but, you know, When I see Kendrick Lamar at the halftime show, I'm like, I'm not really sure what this is exactly. It's something. It's art. It's choreographed. Somebody rehearsed this. It seems interesting, but I'm not exactly sure what it is. But when I see the who playing, I go, okay, I know what that is. And when I hear him do Quadropheni.

[Michael Malice]

Or something like that, I saw the who play at. Well, they called it Old Cella, but the proper name was Desert Trip. And that was when they did the stones and Paul McCartney and the who and Bob Dylan and Neil Young and Roger Waters. It was like that crazy lineup. And obviously, Paul's my guy, and so of course his show is the best. But the who made the Rolling Stones sound like a garage band. I mean, like, they came out at that show and it was. They were the loudest, they were the most. They were the tightest. They had the best visuals. Like, the who's the best. And then the Stones came out, and it was. It was almost Rock and Roll Circus all over again. Like, I don't know if you're familiar with the Rock and Roll Circus, but the who came out and crushed it. And then the Rolling Stones didn't go on till like, three, four in the morning. And they were all exhausted, and the performance wasn't that great. So they kind of scrapped a lot of the footage and never released it till recently. And I was like, oh, shit, this is Rock and Roll Circus all over again. Like, the who just crapped all over you again 50 years later.

[Drake Bell]

And there's a lot of, like, you know, who's better, the who or the Rolling Stones? Rolling Stones have a lot of bad songs that got sucked up in the sort of disco era. And they got, like, emotional rescue and stuff like that. And the who is a more interesting band than the Rolling Stones are.

[Michael Malice]

I mean, Baba O'Reilly, things like that, you know, Won't Get Fooled Again. I mean, these are just epic opus.

[Drake Bell]

And just like Tommy, the opening theme from Tommy and Quadrophenia and all that kind of stuff.

[Michael Malice]

Yes, it's epic.

[Drake Bell]

Shit.

[Michael Malice]

I didn't. So I started playing guitar when I was around 11 or 12. I started kind of late, and I had to do an audition for a movie where I played a guitar student. And I was supposed to be some, like, virtuoso guitar player, you know, like Crossroads kind of thing. Ralph Macchia. I'd never picked up a guitar, and so I borrow my friend's guitar and I. They. I'm Like, I'm just going to go in with a boombox and just mime it, you know? So I picked Pinball wizard because Roger Daltrey was in the movie. And so I was like, oh, I'll pick a who song. And so I went in and just faked it. And I was in the waiting room with all these other kids. You know, I was probably. Yeah, I was about 11 or 12, and they're just like, all just noodling in the. In the waiting room. And I'm like, oh, my God, I don't even know what I'm doing. But I was a huge fan of music, been to ton of live shows. I could pretend to rock on stage. And so I went in, did the audition, ended up booking the job, and got to work with Roger Daltrey. And Carmen APIs from Vanilla Fudge and Denny Lane from Wings were all in this movie. And it was my first, really, my first experience, like, in a recording studio, recording music. So we had to do songs for the movie. And I got to, like, I'm sitting there, like, sharing the mic with Roger Daltrey, and it was. It was amazing. And one of the coolest things was there was a pinball machine in the waiting room of the studio. So I got to play pinball with Roger Daltrey.

[Drake Bell]

That. I mean, Tommy was awesome and interesting. Like I said, for me, whether it's a comedian or music, good is good. I like it to be good, but I like it to be a little interesting, like a little different.

[Michael Malice]

Well, I'm a Brian. I'm a Brian Wilson. Wilson guy. Beatles. Like it all. Like, I'm, you know, into the record. Smile and smiley smile. Like, it's gotta. I'm into all the Van Dyke Park's weird, interesting kind of.

[Drake Bell]

Yeah. Where you kind of go, why'd they do that? Or who thought of that? I wouldn't have thought of that. With some little overdubs and things and changes.

[Michael Malice]

That's what I do with, like, with my music. It's. I wear all of my influences on my sleeve. I mean, it's all lush Brian Wilson Beach Boys harmonies and Brian May Queen guitar solos. And it's like, you can tell, you're like, okay, Yeah. I wonder what music this kid grew up on.

[Drake Bell]

Well, look, if you take one influence, then you're ripping them off, but if you take 10 influences, then it just sounds good because you essentially are influenced by 10.

[Michael Malice]

Yeah, well, that's what I did. This. This new record, all the albums that I put out, they're always I kind of always record what I want to listen to. Like, what I'm always what. Whatever I'm into. I just, like, that's what I want to record in the studio. And so I put out all different types of records. I even put out, like, this, like, weird, like, trap hip hop record. I was hanging out with these, like, these rapper guys, and I was like, I could do that. And they put this funny thing out. So there's like, rockabilly, record pop, all this different stuff. And for this album, I kind of took all of those genres and put them in. It's like 36 tracks on the album, and it's a whole concept.

[Drake Bell]

Oh, yeah. I guess you used to run out of room on an album, right? Yeah, but now you don't run out of bar or.

[Michael Malice]

It used to be double. Like, I want to make vinyls, but it's gonna have to be, like, a double or triple vinyl because the album's so long. We. I got this crazy idea. I love Pan Am and that kind of golden era of commercial flight when, you know, like, every seat was first class. You dress up to get on an airplane, and now everyone's in there.

[Drake Bell]

I see those pict and the chicks are wearing go go boots and miniskirts.

[Michael Malice]

And they've got the giant turkey as.

[Drake Bell]

They'Re, like, serving cart in front of you.

[Michael Malice]

Yeah, the chateaubriand.

[Drake Bell]

I know. Now I'm sitting there in first class. Like, could I have lemon? We don't have lemon.

[Michael Malice]

First class is coach. I mean, I know.

[Drake Bell]

I mean, I got handed a pack of powdered lime, reconstituted powdered lime for my drink in first class last time. It's like, it's so sad.

[Michael Malice]

Plastic utensils all the time. I mean, literally, I am at the airport three days a week, and I look back and I'm going, what? Why am I in this little tube with this thing? And this person's, like, in her pajamas and with the pillow and the hoodie. And back in the day, I was watching this old movie, and it made no sense to me, the joke. Until I started looking back at the way people used to fly. And this guy was dressed up in a suit, and this person's like, what are you getting on an airplane?

[Drake Bell]

Right, right.

[Michael Malice]

I was like, what? Why would he be getting on an airplane if he's wearing a suit? That makes no sense. And then you look back and you're like, oh, it was an event to go on a flight.

[Drake Bell]

You go to LAX now, and I see a lot of women wearing slippers. Like, literally pajamas, like people look like. I always say it looks like you're in a Hilton hotel and somebody pulled the fire alarm at 4 in the morning. And you stagger down to the lobby and people are a little disoriented and they're wearing like a sweat sweatpants with no shirt and one flip flop. And the guy's like, what's going on? It's like, that's lax. Now that is.

[Michael Malice]

What a great analogy. That is literally lax. Plus, it's never finished. I don't know what they're building there. I don't know what's going on, but it's never going to be finished.

[Drake Bell]

All right, you think the train from Bakersfield to Merced will be finished first? Or whatever's going on in the Delta terminal? Because it's always, pardon our mess. And it's always like, we're making a better lax.

[Michael Malice]

Pardon our dust.

[Drake Bell]

Yeah, you're making a better LAX for my great grandkids. Not for me, because this is. All I see is construction.

[Michael Malice]

And then they did the thing where they don't let you pick up the Uber at the side. Now. Now you gotta. To the lax, you gotta walk all the way. All right, first world problems.

[Drake Bell]

But no, I get it. It is, it is weird.

[Michael Malice]

I look back and I go, what in the world they have. I don't know if they still do it, but it's really cool. They have this Pan Am experience. I think it's like up in Reseda or somewhere. So it's like an hour from here, but this guy who's obsessed with aviation has just collected the stuff over the years, has this massive collection of vintage airplane. Every seat from every aircraft, every, basically anything that's ever been on an airplane in the past, like 40 years. He, he has all of the clothing, all of the everything. And he built a replica Pan Am airplane. And you can go in and have a three hour dinner and this Pan Am experience as if you're on an international flight.

[Drake Bell]

This exists in more than one place because we can look for it. But when I did Adam Ray's Dr. Phil show in Arizona several weeks ago, when we were done with the show, the after party was basically that it's shaped like an interior of an airplane stewardess, cocktails, the whole nine yards. And it's kind of sad that we have to simulate these things, but I guess it is kind of what a treadmill is to hiking. You know, it's like, we need to break a sweat. We're human, we need exercise. And it's Kind of sad, like a robotic dog. But yeah, it was Adam Ray's show and it was the one in Arizona and it was fun. And then we ended up at this place that's cool. And I don't know, I mean, it is an interesting experience. It's sad that it needs to be simulated.

[Michael Malice]

That's what's depressing about it is I love things like that. Like, I love Disney. Anything themed, anything that takes you out of the real world. And then you look at the cars and you look at the houses from that era, the mid century modern architecture and all of the Frank Lloyd Wright and all this. And then you walk outside and you're like, you see these like half used bars, bars of soap and electric razors, like parked in the parking lot and with no style, no creativity. No. Now the colors, like even the colors of the cars, now it's like you have gray, you have this new type of gray. Oh, we've tried it. This is jet gray. Oh, this is aerial gray. It's like they're all gray and black and white. Like there's nothing.

[Drake Bell]

I think they're. The problem is everything trickles down to economics. Everything, sadly. And we thought like in the 50s and the 60s that we were going to build supersonic aircraft that got you. We had the Concorde and then we were like, you would get so depressed. You want to get depressed? Like open a popular science magazine from like 1969 and have something that says LA, the future. And it's gonna be monorails everywhere. And you'll be able to get from New York to Los Angeles in under an hour with your supersonic pulse jet and everything. And instead it's just Frontier Airline and a bunch of depressed people, fat people in pajamas packed into something, getting yelled at by what we used to call a stewardess and now we have to call a flight attendant because it's all dollars and cents. Yes. They could make a plane that made it from LA to here in under three hours. They have the technology. Every ticket would be $11,000. And so no one's gonna pay that. So you brought up the Beatles, you brought up Pan Am. It's the exact amount of time it took the Beatles to get from New York to LA in 1964 as it is today. Yeah. Which is depressing, but all economic and not as glamorous. Oh, no. Every penny needs to be shaved. I was always like, just think about this. The snacks you receive in flight you would never purchase on the ground or even see on the ground. There is no Fiesta Mix on the ground. You have Triscuits and Wheat Thins and Nilla Wafers and stuff like that.

[Michael Malice]

Something that. That weirds me out when I get onto the airplane is when I sit down and I look to my right and there's an ashtray.

[Drake Bell]

Yeah, how.

[Michael Malice]

Like, not a new. Nothing new. Like, how long is this plane? Like, where. How. There's ashtrays in. Now, I did have a flight attendant.

[Drake Bell]

That'S more Mexico than it is la. No, they got it.

[Michael Malice]

They got. And in the. In the bathrooms, they've got the little thing and what. But the flight attendant told me, said, how old is this? They said, no, we have those on the flight, on the plane. In case somebody does light up a cigarette, we have a safe way to dispose of it.

[Drake Bell]

And I was like, in the bathroom?

[Michael Malice]

Okay, yeah, in the bathroom. There's that little white thing. It looks like a little hanger.

[Drake Bell]

And then the guy goes and spins the prop and a big plume of smoke comes out and it fires up and you go off into the storm. Yeah, listen, the problem with the past is it was rarely interesting and sexy and then fun. And then it also came with, like, misogyny and racism and stuff like that. And so we have trouble untangling it. Like, look at those outfits the stewardess is wearing, right? The guys were drinking martinis and slapping them on the ass. And the pilots were telling them, you gotta sleep with me or you're gonna lose your job. And so it always came with some other things. And my plan is untangle it. Just give us the aesthetic.

[Michael Malice]

This video, I just saw it recently, it's probably early 60s, maybe like 1964. And it's a hidden camera show. And there's people walking up to purchase tickets at a. For a flight, and a woman dressed as a captain walks up and it's like, hi, what I'm. Where's gate? So, you know, asking for directions for the gate, as if she's the captain for the people who were getting on, right? Men, women, didn't matter. Everyone was like, I'm not getting on that plane. Like, they couldn't believe that there was a woman flying the plane. It's just such a. It takes you to. And kind of my age, like, never really growing up in that era. Like, it's. You see that and you're like, how is that. How did that ever exist? Like, wild.

[Drake Bell]

Yeah. No, I completely see the notion that it was a premise. It was pitched as a premise. Like, hey, Allen Fudd was Allen Fudd. Who did.

[Michael Malice]

I think that was the camera?

[Drake Bell]

Yeah, okay, whatever. Somebody had to conceive it and pitch it. And they go, you know, it's gonna crush. We are gonna. We're gonna take a woman and we're gonna put her in a pilot's outfit, and then we're gonna make everyone think she's flying the plane and they're gonna freak out. And everyone went, oh, yeah. And no one went, what does that mean? Why is that funny? I don't get it. Who cares? All commercials. I talk about commercials. I grew up watching commercials from the 70s where the mother in law would come to stay at the house and the wife was worried sick that she wasn't keeping a clean enough house for that woman's boy who she was now married to. And the mother would walk in and go, it looks pretty clean, but is it? And she'd pull a white glove out of her purse and put it on one hand and drag it along the molding, the trim above the door, and hold her finger out and go, it didn't pass. And the woman, the housewife, would just hang her head in shame and then endust would come in and it was like, could you. Now somebody pitched that commercial and they went, oh, yeah, that's gonna work. That the housewife is very upset because she's not keeping the place nice enough for son her little boy. And there's dust that settled in a random spot on top of a door jamb. Like if you went to a hospital surgical ward and dragged your white glove on top of casing on top of the door, you would find dust. But then she goes into a shame spiral and it's like, yeah, we're doing that commercial.

[Michael Malice]

You see that a lot in old coffee commercials, like when the wife is preparing the coffee for the husband and the voiceovers of what they're describing. And it's almost like she's like, if I don't make this coffee perfect right now.

[Drake Bell]

It was all shame based.

[Michael Malice]

Everything is going to.

[Drake Bell]

No, the coffee commercial you're thinking of that was all shame based is they're at a little dinner party or a little. They invited a couple over for dinner. And the husband and the wife are standing at the other person's house. And the wife says to the husband, the couple that came over, she goes, bob, would you like a second cup of coffee? And the wife, his wife jumps in and goes, bob never has a second cup of coffee. And he goes, yeah, I think I'd like a second. She goes, oh, my God, yeah, he never has a second cup.

[Michael Malice]

He never has A second cup at home.

[Drake Bell]

Oh my God. First off, where is this woman? Where is this woman? I've never dated anyone even close to this. I get the. Do your own laundry.

[Michael Malice]

He never gets in a second cup at home. I get what's wrong with my coffee.

[Drake Bell]

Shame. Such great shame. You brought to Bob.

[Michael Malice]

It was filmed, it was released and it sold coffee.

[Drake Bell]

Yes. And also I liked that she was gonna intervene on behalf of Bob. Like he doesn't do like. Nope. And Bob's oblivious. He's like, y'all have a shame. Oh yeah, we'll watch it. It's you band. It's great. I love all the shame based stuff. The only. Hold on, pause it for a second. We never have the sound ready. But let me tell you, there is a downside to these commercials. I had some sort of illusion as a young man that this would approximate marriage, that I'd get married and I'd pay for everything and then some point I'd get some shame and a second cup of coffee. It turned out, turned out to be a lot different. Turned out to be a lot more. You're not the boss of me. And a little less. And dust. But all right, we have it. Here we go.

[Adam Carolla]

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[Michael Malice]

Oh, sure you can't stay for more coffee. It's late and Jim never has a second.

[Drake Bell]

You know, I'd love another cup.

[Michael Malice]

Jim never had seconds of my coffee and I make pretty good coffee.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

But that night we both discovered Uban.

[Drake Bell]

Uban special coffee because it's made with special beans.

[Michael Malice]

I think there's also an older one that's in black and white where she is literally like, what I never like, like, it's so. She's so, so ashamed. This girl's Kind of like, ah, well, we discovered this new cop, but there's another one that's older. That is. Oh, there it is. First female pilot.

[Drake Bell]

Yeah, we got it.

[Michael Malice]

Yeah, this is.

[Drake Bell]

Yeah. See my world.

[Michael Malice]

Watch the reactions.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Even the.

[Michael Malice]

Even the flight attendants are like, wait, what? I'm not getting on. I don't want to get on that plane.

[Drake Bell]

Let's see it. 3:20.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I may be wrong.

[Drake Bell]

Do you have the time, sir?

[Michael Malice]

Yeah.

[Drake Bell]

Three. About 3:20.

[Michael Malice]

Thank you, sir.

[Drake Bell]

Okay, everything's in order. And congratulations, by the way. That was your pilot? Yeah. Mortified girl was.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I'm sorry.

[Drake Bell]

My pilot. That girl. Yes, sir. It's a new service. God, what year is this? The fifties.

[Michael Malice]

This has got. Yeah, it's got. It looks. I think it's 6062. But what. Go to the goat. Go forward to when they're interviewing the. The flight attendant. Keep going, keep going. Right here. This. This one even. She can't believe it. By a woman. Piloted by a woman. She's gonna fly it. Yeah, she's the pilot.

[Drake Bell]

Never heard such a thing. A great.

[Michael Malice]

Such a thing. Nice to meet Sally.

[Drake Bell]

Oh, pardon. Ms. Sally. Ms. Sally.

[Michael Malice]

I think we'll be getting in about 3:30.

[Drake Bell]

Beautiful.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Okay.

[Drake Bell]

I'm willing to go if you are.

[Michael Malice]

Like, they crazy. Conceptualize this. That she could fly the plane.

[Drake Bell]

Yeah. I mean, look. Pause it. I mean, look, it was basically black quarterbacks. They didn't have any. So what are they comparing it to? So everyone went, well, you can't have a black quarterback. Like, everything in life is kind of like a lot of stuff. If you hang around long enough, there'll be a lot of people going, you can't do that. You go, why not? And they go, because no one did it.

[Michael Malice]

No one has.

[Drake Bell]

Right? And you go, okay. But I mean, the rules, they had weird rules. We had radio rules and stuff. I mean, like, when I started, at some point, when I was doing Kevin and Bean, or Kevin and Bean were on KROQ radio, at some point, Bean was like, I'm moving to Seattle. And they're like, well, no more morning show for you two then. And he's like, no, I'll be there and Kevin will be here, and we'll just do it that way. And they're like, you can't do that. And they're like, why not? Because you need to both be here. And he's like, well, I'll just be on the phone or on the line or on whatever Zoom was back then in Seattle. And they were like, that's never Gonna work. And then they just did it. And then it just worked.

[Michael Malice]

That's like. That's the same thing we were talking about with the music, too. It's like, that's what makes rock and roll, you know? It's like doing. Wait, you can't turn it up that loud. Oh, you can't play it like that. Oh, you can't do. Because why? Because no one's done it. Well, now, watch this. This is dope.

[Drake Bell]

What do you think? All right, let me hear Once Over Twice by. By X. Since you're such an aficionado, Drake. Most. Most guys your age, they don't know anything about music.

[Michael Malice]

Oh, I gotta admit, they used to have a thing called Hootenanny out in Long Beach. It was a rockabilly festival, and I said it wasn't X, but the Knitters played there. So I got C. John Doan.

[Drake Bell]

It's a great. It's a good riff. And it's got rockabilly. It's kind of.

[Michael Malice]

They definitely have this, like, punkabilly. Pre Psychobilly. Yeah, more punkabilly. Like, before psychobilly.

[Drake Bell]

All right, we'll hear it.

[Michael Malice]

It's like cowboy punk rock.

[Drake Bell]

Yeah, this is the rockabilly part.

[Michael Malice]

Totally their style, too. Like, the guitars they played, the way they dressed, the way they looked. Had that rockabilly.

[Drake Bell]

I know. It's too bad. She was so mean to me. Can you play.

[Michael Malice]

Can you play Wrecking Ball by the Knitters?

[Drake Bell]

Yeah. People used to see, when I used to do radio back in the day, bands from England thought they had to be mean, and punk bands thought they had to be mean. They had a Persona. And, you know, now you. You know, now it's like the world now is. Gene Simmons comes in here and he's making dad jokes, you know, and he's being corny and schmaltzy and stuff. They had.

[Michael Malice]

The only one who never let you down with that, though, is Johnny Rotten. He lived every interview, everything, like he was that guy forever. Like, you know, there's.

[Drake Bell]

Yeah, if you were. But like, back in the day, if you were Lou Reed, you would do your interview wearing sunglasses and be super cool, too cool for school, and give one word answers and stuff, because that's who you were.

[Michael Malice]

Tom Waits.

[Drake Bell]

Yeah. You just had to be that guy. And interviewing those guys is brutal. And the British version of them, like Blur and those kind of bands, it's like, oh, God, the worst. Chumbawamba. Ugh. Ugh. I used to have so many brutal, painful interviews with those kinds of bands. The English. The English were. Even had more attitude and were like, thought they had to be edgier or even punkier or whatever. Chumbawoma.

[Michael Malice]

Chumbawamba were like the Oasis effect.

[Drake Bell]

Yes. Chumbawomba were anarchists, and it was so brutal. And now people kind of come in and they're sort of themselves, which is. You can make good music and just be nice and conversational. I don't have to check your attitude out all the time, you know? And then you kind of realize. I think it was all a Persona with most of those people. Like, they weren't that way with their kids. Like, Lou Reed wasn't wearing cop sunglasses at home. He just brought. They bring the caricature.

[Michael Malice]

Yeah, yeah.

[Drake Bell]

Oh, we got Wrecking Ball by the Knitters.

[Michael Malice]

So this is where they really go full rockabilly.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

This was.

[Michael Malice]

I loved this. This is my vibe.

[Drake Bell]

Well played.

[Michael Malice]

That is rockabilly, that slap bass. Yeah.

[Drake Bell]

Well, I woke up this morning looking for kicks. I went out to John Doe sing. He acted, too.

[Michael Malice]

Oh, did he?

[Drake Bell]

John Doe did a fair. Has done and does a fair bit of acting. He's been. Yeah. This is. This is full.

[Michael Malice]

This is my. This is my. This is what I grew up on. Jerry Lee Lewis, like.

[Drake Bell]

Yeah.

[Michael Malice]

Rockabilly was my thing.

[Drake Bell]

John Doe from X. If you look up his IMDb or Wiki or whatever, you're gonna see a lot of movies.

[Michael Malice]

He was in a lot of movies.

[Drake Bell]

Yeah. I'll throw a few out as soon as my guys find it. Yeah. And then you kind of go, well, is the old stuff better than the new stuff? And you kind of go, I don't know, was Pan Am better than Southwest, or was an old Cadillac cooler than a new.

[Michael Malice]

Well, that's the other thing, too, is, you know, my first car was a 66 Mustang. Unfortunately, I got in a crazy car accident. I was out on the PCH and sitting at a red light, and a guy fell asleep at the wheel, and.

[Drake Bell]

Wow, that is. That is total.

[Michael Malice]

And. And hit me head on.

[Drake Bell]

What happened to you?

[Michael Malice]

I broke my. Well, because I only had the lap belt right. But I. So I went into the steering wheel, and, you know those old steering wheels, it's just metal and wood that fit. Like, Mustang steering wheel.

[Drake Bell]

Sure.

[Michael Malice]

So went right into that. Broke my jaw in three places. Knocked out all my.

[Drake Bell]

How old were you?

[Michael Malice]

19.

[Drake Bell]

Wow.

[Michael Malice]

I was right in the middle of the third season of our show.

[Drake Bell]

Wow.

[Michael Malice]

And. Which was really amazing. I mean, we. We. We went on hiatus while I had my jaw wired shut for five months. And wow. All liquid diet. And wow. Had to have. It was, it was wild.

[Drake Bell]

PCH has some of the most horrific accidents.

[Michael Malice]

It was unreal.

[Drake Bell]

People get killed there all the time.

[Michael Malice]

Unbelievable.

[Drake Bell]

And they. I think it's probably the number one drunk driving highway in America. Like a lot of people would go to Moon Shadows, have a few pops and then make it back.

[Michael Malice]

No boo.

[Drake Bell]

Yeah, no boo. And then try to make it back. There's no divider. Just once you pass out, you just go right across.

[Michael Malice]

There was some construction going on. And you know, on pch, sometimes when they have construction, they put up those ugly fences with the green tarps so you can't see it. But sometimes when there's nothing there, you. It's just a cliff.

[Drake Bell]

Right.

[Michael Malice]

So luckily when I got hit, I started spinning and I slammed into a fence that was there for. To block the view of construction. Otherwise we would have continued like, wow, roll down.

[Drake Bell]

But man, broken jaw, smashed teeth. I mean, yeah, the lap belt. And if you're within a modern car with an airbag, which we like to beat up on the past.

[Michael Malice]

Well, well, the doctor told me that at the speed that the guy hit me that if I had been in a new car that it would have just crushed and I most likely would have been dead. But because of the, because the front end is so long and it's just pure metal, you know that it basically saved. That the car saved my life.

[Drake Bell]

Oh really?

[Michael Malice]

Yeah. They were like, if you.

[Drake Bell]

What year was this?

[Michael Malice]

Oh, what year was the accident? Sorry, yeah, 2007. 8.

[Drake Bell]

Yeah, probably that wouldn't be true today in a modern car because they have crumple zones and stuff like that, but back then, yeah, a little more happening.

[Michael Malice]

Yeah, he said that a lot of that. And yeah, it was wild. And the guy just, he had, was on his way home. He took an ambient at work.

[Drake Bell]

At work?

[Michael Malice]

Yeah. And was like, hey, you know, I got 15 minutes to drive home. It'll hit me when I get to the house and I'll go to bed. But it hit him on the way.

[Drake Bell]

Is he have to get to bed?

[Michael Malice]

After he gets home, he's got to go straight to bed.

[Drake Bell]

What time was this?

[Michael Malice]

The sun just went down. Being around 5:30, that's such a weird call. Yeah, yeah. And he just, he was completely asleep when he hit me. So I got out of the car and my jaw, I was, I had a laceration all the way through. I could put like my tongue through my chin and you know, the face wounds, I mean it's just like a Hose up to my face. I'm spitting teeth out there, like shat. I hear them like, like porcelain on the ground. Like just like shattering. And my jaws are in my mouth, you know, I can like feel it moving around. It's all broken, but I. The adrenaline and everything. So I don't feel anything. And I run over to his car and I'm like, what? You know, I'm a 19 year old kid. I'm assuming I must have done something wrong. Like this has to be my fault.

[Drake Bell]

Good. Low self esteem. I like it.

[Michael Malice]

Yeah, but. But no, I was just sitting in a left hand turn lane waiting to make a left and he.

[Drake Bell]

Were you like Temescal or Sunset or something like that?

[Michael Malice]

It was, it was, it was right by. We were coming back from Zuma. It was orange. I think it was orange or something like that. That was the name of the street. But yeah. And he woke up and looked at me and goes, what happened? Why would they put a left hand turn lane there?

[Drake Bell]

Wow. What was he driving?

[Michael Malice]

A big. I think it was a 2000, a 99 or 2000 Mercedes, whatever the L.

[Drake Bell]

Like an SUV type thing?

[Michael Malice]

No, no.

[Drake Bell]

Or a sedan.

[Michael Malice]

Big sedan. It was like the, I don't know Mercedes very well, but it's basically the episode. The 750 li version of Mercedes.

[Drake Bell]

Right, right. That's the BMW, but the big flagship.

[Michael Malice]

Right? Yeah.

[Drake Bell]

So he was fully insured and everything?

[Michael Malice]

Yeah.

[Drake Bell]

Oh, that's good. Jesus Christ.

[Michael Malice]

Yeah. So luckily I was able to get really great medical help. And I was wired shut for five months, four or five months. And had the doctors, you know, they tell you, oh, just blend up some spaghetti, blend up a cheeseburger and put it through a straw and. And I know it sounds gross, but you won't tell the difference. So I was like, there's never. No, that's disgusting. I'm not gonna do that. So I lived on these little yople like yogurt drinks and I just got emaciated and my face, I looked like Quagmire from Family Guy because my jaw was literally swollen out to here. But my body was like emaciated because I had no nutrition, nothing in there. And then I had to take this liquid lore tab pain medication. But because I didn't have anything on my stomach, I'm getting gross now. Then I would have to throw up, like, but my jaw would be worn. So I'd be pulling up through the wire and it was just like. I mean it was. Yeah, it was brutal. But luckily I, I had great work Done.

[Drake Bell]

When you got unwired.

[Michael Malice]

Yeah.

[Drake Bell]

Where'd you go to eat? Like, I don't necessarily mean that day, but I just mean, like, in a way, it's like, it took me a while. The day you got out of prison, where'd you go?

[Michael Malice]

It took me a while to be able to actually go and eat something that I enjoyed. Because opening your mouth after it's been wired shut for that long, you can barely open it. So you're not getting your jaw unwired. And, like, you're not getting the going out of Jim Brady. Cut. Yeah. You're not going to move, right.

[Drake Bell]

You're not going to Laurie's and getting a prime.

[Michael Malice]

Yeah, no, because I open.

[Drake Bell]

I get that. But, like, that's what I mean. Not that day or not. Whatever. But what were you fantasizing? Did you want an In N Out burger?

[Michael Malice]

In n Out? In N Out was a big one. Steak was a big one. I love steak. And so that was a big one. There was a restaurant that I loved. It used to be called Barzac. It's not there anymore, but they actually used to shoot there for Kruber Enthusiasm over in North Hollywood. And their food. I was. But they were really sweet. They found out I got in the accident, and I started getting deliveries to my house from that restaurant of, like, their puree soups and, like, things that I could eat. I was like, how. I, like, went into the restaurant, I was like, that's so nice that you guys did that. That was so sweet. But. But, yeah, like, prime rib, steak. Any. Really Anything, dude. Because you couldn't. Everything was liquid. Everything. You had nothing.

[Drake Bell]

How many months solid?

[Michael Malice]

Four or five months. Oh, yeah.

[Drake Bell]

So how much time are you spending in Mexico now?

[Michael Malice]

A lot. Well, I. I'm on tour right now, and so we just did a huge run of all the cities in Mexico. And then I did a lot of recording of my last record, and then I shoot a lot of my music videos there. So I'm in Mexico quite a bit.

[Drake Bell]

Nonstop Flight is the album, and it's on Spotify and Apple Music. I didn't know you were such a historian of music.

[Michael Malice]

I love music.

[Drake Bell]

No, I. I agree. And it's. It's always sad to me when people do it and have no idea who you're talking about. And talking about fans, they just. But. But I will tell you this. I have interviewed a million, like, race car drivers, and they, you know, they win the Indy 500. And then I go, what. What's the power plant like? What. What's the engine in that car. And they go, I think it's a 1.5. And I go, it's not a 1.5. Maybe it's a 2.5 or 3 liter, but it's not. And then they go, I don't know. And I just go, oh, you have no interest in this. I want to geek out on it. You have no doubt about it.

[Michael Malice]

I'm like that with. When it comes to gear, like musical gear, like everyone just went to namm, like the NAMM show, and I'm like, I don't have any. Just give me a guitar, give me an amp, plug it in, I'll find. Give me a distortion pedal, like. But I've got friends who are just all geared out. They're like, oh, I just got this new thing and it does this and you do this. And I'm like, I, I cannot, I have no interest in like for. I don't know if it's not an interest, but like, I just, I just want to play the instrument. Like I don't have that, you know. Oh, I gotta get into. I gotta know what's under the engine, I gotta know what's in the amp, I gotta know what's in the, you know, I gotta know all the little things.

[Drake Bell]

Like, I just, I don't know, I kind of assume that those people are less players than the ones who just want to play.

[Michael Malice]

Well, I see maybe a less creativity in it, sort of, I guess. But there's also super creative people that I know that are like that too. But yeah, I don't know, it's just I've always been like, I have my guitar, a pedal and my amp and then I like guitar players will show up to play with me and they got their whole pedal board and their. This thing and the wireless this and the new this thing. And I'm like, it's too much stuff. It's too much stuff. Like, I have a friend, my mom's a two time world champion pool player.

[Drake Bell]

Your mom?

[Michael Malice]

Yeah, and she's in the hall of fame. And there's this crazy. There's this.

[Drake Bell]

Could she beat the black widow, bruh?

[Michael Malice]

No problem, bro. Actually, I grew up with Jeanette. She's really, really wonderful lady. Unfortunately, she's gone through some. She's had some issues health wise and stuff. Yeah, it's pretty sad. But she's awesome. But yeah, my mom is like.

[Drake Bell]

She was a different level, really.

[Michael Malice]

Jeanette's a great player, but my mom is like Nolan Ryan compared to that.

[Drake Bell]

So crazy.

[Michael Malice]

But what was my point? Oh, there's this. I don't know if you've ever heard of this pool player named Earl Strickland.

[Drake Bell]

Yeah, I've heard that name.

[Michael Malice]

Earl the Pearl. But he's just the weird. He's like this guy from North Carolina, Joe Rogan does an amazing impression of him, but he always shows up and he's got the new thing that has to go on the hand and the new finger extender and the new. And I'm always like, how do you just shoot the ball? You're one of the greatest players of all time, but you're always showing up with this new thing on his shoulder. This new thing, a new beekeeper outfit. Like, this whole thing. I'm like, just. I don't know. But that's how I feel. Like, when. Guitar player. I've just never been the same player.

[Drake Bell]

Well, my take on those guys is the version of this I have is I do automotive racing, and guys will show up in $500 racing shoes and stuff like that. It's kind of unnecessary, but if you win or you're fast, then it's sort of like, all right, well, you earn those shoes or whatever. It's the guys who show up in the. It's like when you see the guys on the bikes and they got the full Cinzano gear, and it looks like they're sponsored by some Italian company and they're fat.

[Michael Malice]

I was just snowboarding, and I felt the same way. I'm like, these people are coming down the mountain, and I'm like, this looks like an ad for. And it's not like they're great skiers. They literally. It's like they went for that weekend, but they had to have the.

[Drake Bell]

Yeah, that spot. It looks like they're sponsored professional, but you can tell by their.

[Michael Malice]

It's like that scene in Dumb and Dumber when. When. Or in the Jerk, right when he comes out of the car and he's got the big feather in the hair. He's got all the accoutrement. Everything's like, you know, everything is the designer thing. And I'm like, dude, you've been skiing twice.

[Drake Bell]

Yeah, I know.

[Michael Malice]

You just spent three grand on an outfit you're gonna wear today.

[Drake Bell]

I know. I always think about. I did a race with a guy, and he had the $500 shoes, and then he was the slowest guy. And then I made fun of him on the podcast, and then he wrote me a thing like, why are you making fun of me? Or whatever. And I had a Moment where I could have tweeted back at him, and I just went, sorry, you're right. I get it. I was making a joke, but I get it. I sound like an asshole. So sorry. And then he wrote back, okay, no problem. And then he died, like, six months later. And he was, like, young. And I was like, oh, God, I'm so glad I apologized to him instead of clapped back at him.

[Michael Malice]

What a turn.

[Drake Bell]

Yeah, it was. Guy's name was Carter Lay of the lay's potato chip fortune.

[Michael Malice]

Oh, wow.

[Drake Bell]

Like, his family was lay's potato chip. So I guess he had some money for driving shoes, but he died at, like, 45 or something. So quiet on the set. That was the doc, and it highlighted all the abuse and all this stuff over at Nickelodeon, which I remember when it came out was a big deal, but I didn't watch it because I tend to get depressed with those types of situations. But is Nickelodeon sort of like, I don't know, the Catholic Church? Who would be attracted to work with those people? I don't mean the Catholic Church. What I'm saying is, because I don't want to get involved with scouting, for instance. But maybe I was a Catholic big brother. There was a big deal like, are you a pedophile? We need to know why are you here? What has attracted you to be a random Catholic big brother? I don't have any notion about working with kids. It probably annoys me.

[Michael Malice]

The thing that. About the doc that was kind of a bummer was that it specifically focused on Nickelodeon.

[Drake Bell]

Mm.

[Michael Malice]

But it's really just kids TV or kids in anything. You know what I mean? In soccer, in baseball, in racing, you know, whatever. It's just like you said, you know, you always have to have those things of, like, okay, dude, like, why. Why do you want to do this job? You know, like. And. Which is weird because it's like, you don't want to have to do that, but it's. Yeah, it was. My experience. Was not a good one.

[Drake Bell]

You were a survivor of molestation? I guess we'd say.

[Michael Malice]

Yeah.

[Drake Bell]

Was that acting coach?

[Michael Malice]

Yeah, there was a dialogue coach that worked on the show. And so a dialogue coach for those who don't know. There's like a. There's, like, people who run lines with you. So they're not the director, they're not the producer. They're not. But they're. They're around whenever you're rehearsing and say, for example, it's like, oh, I've got this scene coming up with Adam. I gotta I wanna run my lines, but Adam's, you know, not available. So I go up to the dialogue coach. I say, hey, can I run my lines with you? Blah, blah, blah, blah.

[Drake Bell]

Yeah.

[Michael Malice]

And so. And if someone's not available, they follow.

[Drake Bell]

You around with the script. Yeah.

[Michael Malice]

And they'll do some fun stuff, but they're always around, so they're, like, ever present on set. And that was the person that I was involved.

[Drake Bell]

Is that person behind bars now?

[Michael Malice]

No.

[Drake Bell]

Is there any repercussions? Oh, they were.

[Michael Malice]

Well, he did well, because he must.

[Drake Bell]

Have done this quite a few times.

[Michael Malice]

Well, I mean, my case with him is the only one that's ever come to light, but I really. There's no.

[Drake Bell]

There's no way that it's not a one and done type.

[Michael Malice]

No. Especially the way that it was done and how it calculated. And one of the wild things was that after. So you didn't want. You really don't know anything about this, huh? Do you want me to blow your mind?

[Drake Bell]

Yeah, I heard bits and pieces. Like I said, I got kids, I got depressed. It makes me depressed.

[Michael Malice]

All right, I'll just give you a couple of. Not. Highlights is a horrible way to put it, but just some things about the things that kind of. I mean, obviously the abuse and all of that was the hardest to endure, but the things. The aftermath of it, which was really eye opening and shocking. For example, and this is pre. Tmz, pre Twitter, pre. You know, when we had the trial. Well, it wasn't a trial. It was a sentencing because he pledged. And so nobody was worried about showing up to a courtroom and a courthouse to support this guy and have TMZ outside making a list of all the celebrities and executive producers and directors that are in support on the left side of the courtroom, you know, so no one was concerned. So I show up to the sentencing, and this is after the whole, you know, the investigation. The. It's like a year and a half, two years of just the. You know, my hair fall. It was the most. Not. It's just unbelievable, you know, talking to detectives, telling them what happened, having to catch him on the phone, you know, doing a sting operation with a phone in a recorder in a room, like a movie, you know, like I'm watching Forensic Files or something. And then when we showed up to court, on my side of the courtroom was me, my brother. My memory is fuzzy, but I think that this is who was there. It was me, my brother, my friend Michael, my stepdad, and my mom. And on the left side of the courtroom, There was not an empty seat.

[Drake Bell]

Actors, directors, insupport, pedophile abusers.

[Michael Malice]

They wrote 41 letters.

[Drake Bell]

Wow.

[Michael Malice]

In support. Do you want. Yeah, I don't think this is. I don't know if this is good. I don't know if this is good for air, but, you know, I'm gonna have you read this off air because you can go Google them. Just 41 letters from. And I'm telling you, it's so wild.

[Drake Bell]

Essentially calling you a liar.

[Michael Malice]

Calling me a liar? Calling me no. Say, no, no, no, no. They couldn't call me a liar because he admitted to everything on the phone. I got him recorded admitting everything, so they couldn't call me a liar. But it was my fault. I instigated it. He was immensely under. He was under immense pressure from me that I was pursuing him, that I was sleuth, like, in my.

[Drake Bell]

You are how old at this?

[Michael Malice]

13.

[Drake Bell]

Yeah. Okay, keep going. Sorry. I know. Nuts. But.

[Michael Malice]

Right? And I'm just this, like, kid. I'm like, cool. I got this show, and I, like, get to do what I love to do, and I get to act and. Wow. Everyone's really nice, and everyone's creative like me. You know, it's like, when you join theater class, you're like, whoa, I found my people. Like, you like to be goofy and make weird voices, and you don't take stuff seriously and, oh, cool. You know, and that's the kind of the environment that I was, like, living in. And. And unfortunately, it's like, there's this blurred boundary of you.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

The.

[Michael Malice]

The young kids want to be hip and cool and want to hang out with the older people and fit in and want to, you know, be respected by the director. And, you know, we are. This is my job, and this is my craft, and I want to be. You know, even though I'm just a kid, like, you want to move. Navigate through this, like, adult world and be looked at.

[Drake Bell]

Yeah, I get it. I totally get it.

[Michael Malice]

You know, and so you get. And then all of a sudden, people just start to, like.

[Drake Bell]

But it was really the 41 people showing up in support of this.

[Michael Malice]

Well, that's 41 letters that were written.

[Drake Bell]

Letters.

[Michael Malice]

There were way more people that showed up. And the letters. I mean, I'm not gonna put it on there. You got. They're so. Cause I didn't. Okay. I didn't know about the 41 letters.

[Drake Bell]

When you just knew who was in the courtroom.

[Michael Malice]

I just knew who was in the courtroom. When they did the investigation for this documentary, the letters were sealed. So all of these people thought that these letters would never see the light of day.

[Drake Bell]

Uh huh. And they turn out to be some prominent people.

[Michael Malice]

Dude, they're all celebrities. They're all famous.

[Drake Bell]

Really?

[Michael Malice]

Yeah.

[Drake Bell]

Most famous person who James Marsden. Really?

[Michael Malice]

Yeah. Works like crazy on. I mean the guy never stops working. Go look at his Instagram, go look at his Instagram messages, comments. I'm surprised that he just went. I'm surprised he's working and Justin Baldoni's not. That's crazy, right? It's wild.

[Drake Bell]

So he worked with him when he was younger.

[Michael Malice]

Letter about how. And what was so amazing, which I thought was just blew my mind was in all of these letters. They were like I never felt uncomfortable around him. He never made me feel uncomfortable. I've shared hotel rooms. I'm like, you're all adults, right?

[Drake Bell]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Michael Malice]

Like that's like me saying like I'm. I like I like grown women and I get accused of something. But then my friends like, well I shared a hotel room with him and he never made me feel uncomfortable.

[Drake Bell]

Yeah.

[Michael Malice]

It's like, well I know you're not, you're not really in his.

[Drake Bell]

Yeah.

[Michael Malice]

Like, but they're all like he never. I mean grown women, like I always felt comfortable around him. Cuz you're not a 13 year old little boy.

[Drake Bell]

Right?

[Michael Malice]

Like, it's just wild.

[Drake Bell]

Really disappointing.

[Michael Malice]

Yeah. I mean Alan thicke, Alan Thicke, TV's TV's dad praising Brian, saying that he songs saying that he would write that he would work with him tomorrow, that he would be happy to have him work around kids. Everything. All of this is all in the letters. And he admitted to it. He admitted to it. This is no like hey, I'm just taking a bullet here or you don't really understand what happened? Like no, it's literally like the count. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. Like, like oral population. I mean I don't want to go into the whole thing but.

[Drake Bell]

And they wrote the letters after knowing.

[Michael Malice]

That there's like people that I grew up with that. I mean one of my favorite directors that I worked with that I. He felt like he was one of my best friends and loved it and all this. And then all of a sudden so they were sealed. So years later when they did this documentary is when they petitioned the court to unseal the letters. So I got a stack of letters like this that I never knew existed by people I thought were my friends. Celebrities. Taran Killam from snl, James Marsden, Alan Thicke, Joanna Kearns, Wilfred Ryder Strong. I mean the list goes on. Prominent there were letterheads from big producers that literally their company is like such and such family entertainment. And then just a scathing. I mean, excuse me, not scathing. Just a glorifying letter of how amazing this person is.

[Drake Bell]

Well, I mean, you wonder why this stuff was able to go on. I mean, you think about Harvey Weinstein and guys like that, but you wonder why these things were able to sort of perpetuate themselves.

[Michael Malice]

What was so wild is like, see, now my tinfoil hat goes on, you know, and I start going through. My life is going. That's a huge story.

[Drake Bell]

Right?

[Michael Malice]

Right. Like, that's a massive story. In within three months of each other, two major cases are picked up at the same show, on the same show on the same network at the same thing, three months apart. Major cases of abuse by mine. And then another one by a guy named Jason Handy. And you never. That's a headline, right? Children's television. Three months apart. And then there was another one, but it was at the animation studio. I mean, if I was an investigative reporter, I'm looking at this like, oh, this is my. This is my. I'm gonna break this story. And it's 2004, 2005, and this is going down at this big, prominent children's network. And, you know, and then everything that goes on inside of it of, like, you know, just the make. The mechanism of having to keep these kids, you know, oh, you have to be a good role model, and you have to look like this. And then, you know, just the. Like, Jeanette McCurdy's book, you know, she's like, all of a sudden, I'm 13, walking down the street, I get a picture taken of me. It gets put in the magazine and tells me I'm fat. I'm like, dude, I'm just a kid eating a donut. Why do I have to. Now look at somebody calling me fat in a magazine. Hope she has more eating donuts and Starbucks, dude, I'm just a kid. And so all of that put together, I'm like, dude, this is a huge story. And it was radio silence. Dude, you couldn't. So I'm like, is there somebody. But if I trip outside of a bar that I wasn't even in, Drake Bell's drunk outside of a bar, all over the news. And I'm like, is there somebody up there? Because you can't find anything on Brian. You can't find anything about my case. You can't find anything about until now, after the documentary. But it was literally like, you Couldn't find anything on the Internet about it except for, like, on the official, you know, police website or Megan's Law. Like, nothing. Nothing.

[Drake Bell]

I mean, listen, 10 minutes ago, I thought everything was I didn't believe in any conspiracy theories. And then Covid came around and a few other situations came around, and I'm kind of mostly well, that's what the letters did to me with a lot of this.

[Michael Malice]

Yeah, the letters. Because going through my whole life, right, I go, okay, there's bad actors in Hollywood. Well, obviously, right, Bad actors. But there's there's bad players in Hollywood, right? There's bad players and everything. You're gonna have somebody at your job that you're like, oh, he youe know, he said something inappropriate or he's he's being a little weird. You like. Or, hey, this coaches, you know, we see in sports. We see it everywhere, right? So, wow. I just lost my train of thought.

[Drake Bell]

You didn't.

[Michael Malice]

I don't know why. I just I just had a total break.

[Drake Bell]

Well, look, it's all right. Cause it's kind of this emotional subject, and it gets probably the adrenaline pumping.

[Michael Malice]

I had a point for that. Well, I'll get back to it.

[Drake Bell]

All right. I think what you were saying was, is. Oh, that's why I said I think it's really isolated. And you see the letters.

[Michael Malice]

There we are. So you think that there's okay, but there's bad players and everything. Like, you gotta keep your guard up. You gotta watch out. But when I got the letters, I was like, wait a second. So there really is a cabal. There really is an onion of there's the perpetrator, then there's the people who protect them. Then there's the people who and how many people didn't write letters that just met with him at dinner and said, hey, man, I'm not writing a letter. Because that might get out one day. No, they're sealed. Nothing sealed. You know, I'm not putting my name on it, but hey, hey, come to dinner at my house. Hey, I'm in your corner. I'll support you. You need a job. You need work. You need this. I got you. He went to work on Nickelodeon right after I mean, Disney Channel right after he got out of jail.

[Drake Bell]

Really?

[Michael Malice]

Yeah.

[Drake Bell]

How long did he spend in jail?

[Michael Malice]

16 months.

[Drake Bell]

Wow.

[Michael Malice]

That's 16 months. And he went to as soon as he got out, he went and worked on Suite Life of Zack and Cody.

[Drake Bell]

Well, all I can say Registered.

[Michael Malice]

Registered. Just out of jail. I'm gonna write a book called I.

[Drake Bell]

Had no idea adults would be this disappointing. Yeah, Drake, let me give you a plug. I'm sorry. It's a very interesting story and it's fascinating and I appreciate your candor. Nonstop flight is available now on Spotify and Apple Music. And Drake, I will just have to have you back not to talk about this subject, but we'll keep going on music.

[Michael Malice]

Well, no, I love talking with you. I'm a big fan. I've listened to you for years. And back in obviously like the Loveline days when I wasn't supposed to be listening to it. My parents didn't know. Learned a lot from that show as a young kid. But yeah. So anyway, this has been really cool and I'd love to come back.

[Drake Bell]

Thanks, Drake. We'll do some news. We'll have. Michael Mouse will join us and we'll do all that right after this.

[Michael Malice]

Cool.

[Drake Bell]

Hey, this is Adam Carolla from the Adam Carolla Show. Betonline is the world's most trusted betting platform and your number one source for online betting in 2025. Whether you're a seasoned fan or a first time better, Betonline is your ultimate game day companion with the largest selection of odds on everything from NBA, college basketball, exclusive in game, live betting. Betonline is your ultimate game day companion. And if you like the NHL, you like a little hockey or the UFC, if that's your thing. Betonline is your number one sports betting source. From every three pointer to every hat trick, Betonline has you covered with the odds, stats and more for every single game, every play and every win. It is Betonline. The game starts here. Hiss hair. There you go, men. When you leave the house, you check your phone, you check your wallet, you check your key. How about your hair? How about your look? If you're experiencing a little hair loss, well, you may not feel as confident as you could. And that's where hims comes in. Get your confidence back. Hims provides a range of doctor trusted laws. Hair loss, I should say treatments. It's a loss. It's emotional loss as well, but it's hair as well that leads to bigger problems. And let's not let that happen. Chewable oral spray, serum. It's all there. Do it all from the comfort of your own home. Simple 100% online process. Just answer a few questions and a medical provider will determine if treatment is right for you. If prescribed, treatment is sent direct to your door. No insurance needed. One low price covers everything from treatments to ongoing care. It's HIMS, right? Dawson Start your free online visit today at himss.com Adam that's H I M S.com Adam for your personalized hair loss treatment options. Himss.com Adam Results vary based on studies. Studies of topical and oral minoxidil prescription products require an online consultation with a healthcare provider who will determine if a prescription is appropriate. Restrictions apply. See website for full details and important safety information. Homes.com knows that when it comes to home shopping, it's never just about the house or condo. It's about the home. And what makes a home is more than just a house or property. It's the location, it's the neighborhood. If you have kids, there's also schools nearby, parks, transportation options, all the above. That's why homes.com goes above and beyond to bring home shoppers the in depth information they need to find the right home. And when I say in depth, I'm talking about deep. That's right. Each listing features comprehensive information about the neighborhood, complete with a video guide. They also have details about local schools with test scores, state rankings and student to teacher ratio. They even have an agent directory with the sales history of each agent. So when it comes to finding a home, not just a house, this is everything you need to know, all in one place. Homes.com homes.com we've done your homework. It's time to check Adam's voicemail. Eastman Cole here in Illinois. My 11 year old son was walking around the house with his shirt off the other day. I couldn't help but notice the bruises on his chest. Asked him what was going on with those. He said him and his buddies have been giving each other titty twists and smiles. That's good for you guys. Keep it up, get it on. You can leave us a message at 888-634-1744. Michael Malice has joined us. The podcast. You're welcome with Michael Malice, author, provocateur, thinker. Good to see you, Michael.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Good to be here, Adam. I've been waiting to do this show for years, so I'm very excited to be here.

[Drake Bell]

It's an interesting time to be alive, right?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

You know, interesting is usually euphemism for bad. So this is like the opposite of interesting. It's like excite. We've never seen anything like this in our lifetimes, don't you think?

[Drake Bell]

Yeah, and I mean interesting, you know, in a. Like, I would mean queer, not meaning gay. I mean interesting. Yeah, with a. Oh man, this is cool. With a dusting of. I can't believe what these fucking idiots are Saying all the time, like, like the sort of profound disappointment in adults, like going, wow, this is what you believe, or this is what you're saying? I'm all over the road, but mostly I'm amused.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah, I think it's the kind of thing. It's like, well, what happens next? Right? It's like any of the. I've been keeping a Twitter thread of headlines every day, like an official thread of winning. And at a certain point you're like, we're gonna be crossing Rubicons. We didn't know were there. I mean, I'm just excited. I'm sure you guys are as well, to some extent. That RFK got sworn in. Tulsi. Sworn in cash, I'm sure is gonna be a given. Those are quick question marks, and only one snake McConnell voted against them. That says a lot about Trump's control over the Republican Party.

[Drake Bell]

Well, I think we all have a feeling of potential. Like, what could be. If we just. I've been fantasizing about what if we just ran this place like a business and we just got lean and mean and we got really pragmatic about everything. We just did the stuff that made sense and we stopped throwing money away and we stopped listening to these bad ideas, but it was always a fantasy experiment that was never gonna happen because of the bureaucracy and how bloated everything was. And. And now we get to sit back and kind of go, what could we really do if they took the governor off?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

You know, I don't care about lean and mean. I just want mean.

[Drake Bell]

Right?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I want retribution. I want vengeance. Every one of those governors that put people in old folks homes during COVID got reelected. I mean, there's so many people who have not been accountable for things that anyone listening to this would never imagine doing in a million years. The levels of depravity. If it was just like this, Hunter Biden, you know, I'm getting a cut from Ukraine, Daddy's coming in on a deal, we'd be fine. Who cares? That kind of stuff happens all the time. There's levels of malevolence that I think any of us wouldn't have ever thought imaginable. And if that gets uncovered, that's what I'm really excited about.

[Drake Bell]

Yeah, I'm with you too. Like, I've had more than one person, usually females, saying, why do you keep trolling these people about COVID Nobody knew at the time. And I go, fuck you. I'm never gonna be done yelling at everyone about COVID And they go, let it go. And I go, nope. Never gonna stop trying to punish people who tried to punish me about COVID There's an article that Mayhem has that we'll get into later in the news about learning and school closures and how kids were hurt, especially the poor kids and the brown kids and the black kids. And I'm like, I gotta up all the texts I had with the LA Unified School District where they were attacking me when I was telling them to open the schools. And then I was calling them cowards and pussies, and everyone was yelling at me the whole time. Fuck y'all, is what I have to say. And you did real damage. You did real damage. Like Roberta. Oh, God, I always screw her name up. Roberta Weintraub, or whatever her name is, of the. A teacher's union. You hurt kids. You hurt tons of kids.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Randy Weingarten.

[Drake Bell]

Randy Weingarten, that's right. I always screw that one up. Randy Weingarten. You hurt people, possibly killed people, with Andy Fauci and Gavin Newsom and all of this. I'm not done. One of my friends from high school had a restaurant called Tinhorn Flat that's two miles from here. It's gone because they kept outdoor dining open, and they defied the city of Burbank, and they put an iron fence around it and destroyed these people's lives. So, no, I'm not.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Every time I bring this up on Twitter, a bunch of fans replied, my dad died alone, right? We couldn't have a funeral. My grandma died, spent her last month alone. Even if this is true, we've all seen these, like, 13 Monkeys movies, put on Hazmat suits and have a funeral, right? Let's just take them at face value. Let's have a Hazmat funeral. At least we could hold hands and say no. And there's been no apologies. In fact, I'm sure you saw that piece. I think it was the Atlantic, where they're like, we should apologize for Covid. Meaning they want to forgive us that we're the ones who did something wrong. Explain to me why children need to be given shots, which children love to get shots, right? Every six months in perpetuity for disease they can't even get. And the thing is, Adam, the reason why we have to keep yelling about it is, if I do something bad and I get away with it, why wouldn't I do it again?

[Drake Bell]

Right?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

It worked.

[Drake Bell]

Yes. And then the question that I sort of get back to with folks like Gavin Newsom, like, are you guys evil or are you Incompetent, like what is going on? You knew there was never any data to shut down outdoor dining, so why did you shut down outdoor dining? There wasn't data to keep the schools closed, so why did you keep the schools closed? Why did you do this? Why did you shut down the beaches? Why did you do this?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Adam, we know he's evil and not incompetent because when was the Olympics or whatever came to la, he cleaned it up overnight or whatever that UN meeting, whatever it was, right?

[Drake Bell]

Chinese.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

The point is I was just recently in Japan in April. I didn't want to fall in love with it because I hate that manga weeaboo culture and I couldn't help it. I fell in love with Japan and I'm from Brooklyn originally, right? And when you're in a city at night and everyone's drunk and everyone having a good time and everyone's safe, you realize this is on purpose that New York and LA and Chicago, this is by design. You know exactly what needs to be done to keep the city safe at night for everyone, even if everyone's drunk. And you're choosing the crime, you're choosing the depravity, you're choosing everything else that goes with it. It's not like they don't have the money, they certainly do.

[Drake Bell]

So what's the end game then?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Power, don't you think?

[Drake Bell]

Well, yeah, but what's in it for them to run a city poorly and inefficiently or a state poorly like Gavin Newsom has some sort of retarded fantasy about being President, but. But LA just burned to the ground and California's a shit show and we're used as an example for the rest of the nation of like, you don't wanna end up like California, do you? And his designs on being the president. I know he's delusional, but he can't think that America wants California sort of exported to the rest of the nation. So what's in it it for him?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Well, hold on. I don't think that when someone like a Gavin Newsom runs for president, he cares what America wants. He cares what he could put over. And he put it over very successfully in California. His reelection numbers were through the roof. And I think people listening this underestimate the power, although it's falling, of the corporate press and how blue pilled Americans still are. You know, Trump got 50% of the vote. Officer Harris, who as I said in Rogan is a literal retard, she got like 46% of the 45% vote. That's not a huge margin. And he's clearly smarter and more coherent than her. So if she can get that, there's no reason why, if there's. Let's focus some kind of economic catastrophe, he doesn't have a good shot. And at the very least, he's got a great shot at raising his platform. If I run for president and nothing happens, I'm on CNN in perpetuity. I got book deals in perpetuity. I got speaking fees in perpetuity. I get to be a lobbyist. It's all upside for him.

[Drake Bell]

And what about the media? Because. Because while I have a certain amount of ire for the powers that be, especially on the subject of something like Covid, I have more ire for the media because all Garcetti was doing as the mayor of Los Angeles is being a whipping boy for the school unions and the teachers unions and all. Gavin Newsom was satisfying his union overlords and being just general weak and soft and towing a line, even if it's hurting people. Standard issue stuff. Like you said, Hunter Biden goes to Ukraine, fucking put on a couple of boards, hammer some checks. Does it on dads. He's the bag man for his dad. Standard stuff been done a million times. That's why most people get into politics. What the fuck is CNN doing during COVID Like, what is Sanjay gooped out doing? Like, he's. He's saying this stuff is horse paste. Then he goes on Rogan and has to kind of eat shit. And then he comes back the next day to CNN and has that idiot, Don Lemon go, well, it is used on horses. And he goes, well, that's right, Don. Like, what is Sanjay Gupta doing? What is this physician? What is this board certified physician doing selling a soul? I would never listen to a word that guy said ever again. I would never listen to words that Wolf Blitzer ever said or Anderson Cooper or Don Lemon. What the fuck are these people doing? What is the mainstream media doing? What is Newsweek doing when they're writing hit pieces on me?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Because I wouldn't say. I would never call them mainstream because calling them mainstream absolves them of their malfeasance and depravity. But it is their job to. We are taught since we're kids that everyone who's informed has to have an opinion on every issue. And a lot of people have families, jobs. They've got things to worry about. So it's really easy because then all I gotta do is turn on CNN or read the New York Times and In one article, not only will I know what the issue is, but I'll be told what my position on it is. And they're much worse than the politicians, and the university is even worse than them. And I can demonstrate it quite easily in two ways. Ask yourselves this. Who would you rather have on the Supreme Court? Nine random Democratic senators or nine members of the New York Times editorial board? And here's another example. Let's suppose I'm a Democratic congressman right during the first Trump term, and I think Trump's terrible and he's an idiot and racist, all these things. He shouldn't be in the White House, blah, blah, blah. The whole shebang and impeachment comes along and I'm like, you know what? I think the guy sucks. But impeachment's a huge barrier. I'm not gonna vote for him. My constituents have heard for four years, trump Russia. Trump Russia. Trump Russia. Trump Russia. I, as a Democratic congressman who hates Trump, am not in a position to pass on impeachment or else I'm gonna get voted out. So it's very clear who's the dog and who's the tail.

[Drake Bell]

Yeah, sad. And also a certain amount, and I would say a large amount for me, of my ire goes to the public at large. And I'm not Talking about the 19 year olds in college who've been brain poisoned by this bullshit. I'm talking about the average 53 year old Los Angeleno who went in for this shit hook, line and sinker. And I told them over and over again, like, what are you doing? There's nothing. And they dove into it headfirst. I mean, ultimately it's the people's fault because when they closed the beaches, we should all just went to the beach that day. That's what I have to say.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I think should is like a blue pill term. You can never expect the vast majority of people who are ballast in any culture to have independent thought or ideas. As Menken said 100 years ago, the average man does not want to be free. He simply wants to be safe. And there's a huge cost if I'm just some powerless random person or limited power, if I got a family for me to stick my neck out. We saw this very vividly during COVID Jimmy Kimmel. You know, your old buddy was cracking jokes about how if you haven't been vaccinated and you die in the hospital, too bad there coffee. I mean, they're literally laughing at the idea of people dying. So if I'm like schoolteacher, mechanic, something like that, and I start opening my mouth. It's just like the modern Muslims. I'm the first one who's gonna be targeted and have my life destroyed. So it's very hard to swim against the environment that you're in.

[Drake Bell]

No, I concur. And maybe I'm expecting a little too much out of humanity and expecting men mostly to have a little more. To be a little more chivalrous and have a little more dignity. I think it's a bygone era. Maybe it went out with religion. I don't know. Maybe a lot of those tenets were so.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I mean, the country was founded on the idea that the average man's opinion wasn't going to be taken into account. And I think that model is not necessarily a bad one because, like, there's lots of issues that all three of us shouldn't be running our mouths on. You know, we don't understand, like radioactivity or, you know, high class calculus or whatever the issue might be. So the idea that everyone has to have an opinion on everything makes absolutely no sense, especially people who are working hard to put money, you know, food on the table and working, like, two jobs, something like that. That's crazy.

[Drake Bell]

No, I concur. I guess for me, I have kids and my kids have lots of friends, and Covid didn't harm any of them ever. And I saw it, and so I went. I'm not going to go along with these bizarre protocols because these kids are fine, and I don't see any detriment to them at all. And there's no statistics that kids are being hurt. And I would. I guess I just. And I knew a few adults that were that way, but they were kind of few and far between. And I was just hoping that people would say, well, there's a doctor, and he's been deplatformed. How come? Well, he had some ideas that were non pharmaceuticals to combat Covid or what have you. Or he was talking about vitamin D and sunlight and exercise or something, and they pulled him off of Twitter. And I just. I wish more adults would have gone. I want to hear what that person has to say, because I'm suspicious that you keep canceling people saying they're dangerous. I'd like to know. And the guy's a physician. Like, how reckless and dangerous is he? I would like to investigate that a little bit on my own.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

This is how Dr. Drew got red pilled. So when Covid was rolling out, he was asking very basic medical questions, and randos were yelling at him. Shut the F up. You know what you're talking about. And to remind everyone he's a real doctor, not a Jill Biden doctor. And he's like, I'm literally just asking basic medical questions. I'm not even taking a position. And someone who has no medical training at all feels empowered and entitled to tell me to sit down and shut up. Something is not adding up here. Especially understandably if you have a new disease rolling out and people don't have answers. That's the time for brainstorming sessions. That's the time for, like, all right, let's throw out every idea. 99% of them are going to be stupid. But if we get one good idea that works, let's go with that one, because we don't know what's going on. That's how you're supposed to handle an emergency. We've all seen. Was that Armageddon? All these stupid movies as a meteor hitting the earth and the janitor is the one. Like, hey, why don't we, you know, put Ben Affleck on the ship and put a bomb on it? Go. Hey, great work, man. That's how it happens. If there's a catastrophe, all hands on deck instead of. Let's minimize the voices having input and defer to one guy who bungled things with AIDS not once, but twice.

[Drake Bell]

Yeah. What's your Fauci take? I mean, and I'm with you, I think, in that whether it's Fauci or it's Biden or it's of many other actors, it's not enough that they just sort of sail off into retirement. I think they did real damage. I think they lied. I think they hurt people. I think there's criminal behavior involved with their activities. And I would like something to be done about it. And I love the idea that this is retribution somehow. Like, no, it's not. Not. He lied about the origins of COVID the entire time. So I'd like to know a little more about that, but I don't know what. Your head is on it.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I just read this superb book called and the Band Played on, which was the history of how aids. It was year by year, how AIDS swept across first New York, San Francisco, other cities. And Fauci pops up there, and it's a shocking. This book was published in the 90s, and it's a shocking moment where he's. I think it was the 90s where he's like, yeah, we don't know if it's spread by, like, sneezing. And they did know, at the time, and all these men and drug addicts and young gay men and so on and so forth, it spread through like hemophiliacs were already being isolated and treated like complete pariahs. And now they're even more isolated and left to die alone because he was so irresponsible. So this man has a. I came into it thinking he's an innocent actor, but when I read this book, I'm like, this guy's been at it for decades and has never been held accountable. And this is really sick and excusable because as you say, it's not like, okay, someone's arguing for higher taxes and wealthy people pay more and blah, blah, blah. Or there's waste Hunter Biden gets his cut of the deal. People suffered in ways that I personally am glad I never had to. But again, all these. No funerals. I moved from Brooklyn to Austin in 2021. Every single place that I used to love to go to New York City, couldn't survive. Covid Target's fine, Victoria's Secret's fine. But that little shingle that, that started in 1910 because someone came over from Sicily and started a butcher shop. They're gone. We bailed out Wall street in 2008, but all these magical, special places went under and no one cared and no one was accountable for it. And it was by choice. I will never forgive these people.

[Drake Bell]

What do you think their ire toward Trump is? Is it him as a disruptor? I mean, what is the real, you know, they don't think he's Hitlerian and they don't. They're not worried about our democracy, but they cannot have him because he's going to disrupt their status quo or expose them in some way.

[Adam Carolla]

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[Jason Mayhem Miller]

The fever has been broken? If we were talking in 2023 and I said mark Zuckerberg is going to go on TV and say even something slightly nice about Trump, like, oh, he's tall. Facebook would be a rap, right? But it happened and there was no blowback. And there's been no blowback for anyone who's supported him, like Mark Andreessen, some of these Silicon Valley types. I don't know where that switch flipped, whether they just got exhausted, but it sure did. And what's even interesting, more interesting, Adam, is, is he's actually doing damage. Things that they value, like that repealing that LBJ executive order, going after Di. So when he's eating too much ice cream, they're all having complete meltdowns, no pun intended. But now he's actually taking a hammer. Their stuff, they're relatively much more subdued. And I can't understand it because now's the time you should get freaked out if you're a leftist, because he's actually doing the things that you were worried about.

[Drake Bell]

Well, the people who are in business are sort of of in the business of figuring out who's in power and how to get them to like them and help them and take care of them. And if they bet on Joe Biden or the Democrats, then they'll do that with them. And now Trump's in the. He's in the pilot seat and they're on the airplane, so they better go kiss up to Trump. I get that. I'm talking more sort of permanent Washington. Like, are they worried that he's going to expose things like Epstein's flight list log or declassify things or generally just interrupt their money laundering basic enterprise? The billions of dollars that come in and go out that no one asks any questions about or says anything about. They have a pretty. Pretty stout and lucrative status quo to protect. And maybe they don't like him as a disruptor.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Well, it's very cozy. I've said this for years. This is not gonna be anything anyone disagrees with. Hillary Clinton is always gonna be closer to Mitch McConnell than she's gonna be to some union janitor who voted Democrat their entire life. People understand this. Like George Carlin said, it's a big club and you ain't in it. But I think one of the things that Trump really screwed up for them is they're not good at improv. Like, he throws out these grenades. And maybe you or I, or people who do podcasts who have to speak off the cup. We know how to react, you know, divert it, change it to a joke, you know, speak impromptu. The enemy class is not composed of impressive people. I'm sure you saw some of those hearings when they were trying to yell at Pam Bondi or Chelsea Gabbard and it was whatever. That guy's the center from California now, that lightweight. And he's yelling, but he's reading from a script. It's like, if you're upset, you know how to yell. Like if anyone any of us has been in a fight, the words just come out because you're so angry, but you're reading this scripted angry speech poorly and it's embarrassing. So I think he's really kind of exposed that these high status people. And before, back in the day, when there's four news networks, you only see them a 30 second clip. So you can think that they're smart and they got their shit together. Now you watch them and you're like, this is who's in charge. I'd rather be led by the cast of Big Brother.

[Drake Bell]

Yeah. I mean, when you see people like Maisie Hirono.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah, right.

[Drake Bell]

Those types, you're like, wow, these are amongst the dumbest people I think I know I've ever heard speaking to a microphone. They don't have any kind of self awareness either, which is funny. They just start yelling and sounding semi incoherent. And then you realize once you become an adult and you can sort of gauge people's IQ where you're like, oh, this person's an idiot. They're really a buffoon.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Can you imagine having her as a guest on your show? I've had guests. You're like 30 seconds in and you're like, oh, shit, what am I going to do? This person is genuinely dumb. I don't want to out them as dumb because I'm not trying to, you know, be mean. But this is not an impressive personality. And then you're stuck for like an hour. So, yeah, and it's. She's not unique. One after the next, you're like, holy crap. Like, who are these people persuading?

[Drake Bell]

I, I think they think that if they. And it's kind of a feminine thing, but they think if they say stuff with enough passion that people will go along with it. Which is, and you have to say it with a certain amount of gravitas too. I was talking to a friend of mine yesterday and it was something with my stepdad and I said to him, I said, you know, my stepdad, he's an okay guy. He always treated me like I was his stepson. And he went, yeah, okay, good, good. And I went, I'm making a joke. And he goes, huh? And I go, I'm making. He didn't treat me like a son. He treated me like a stepson. And he went, oh, yeah, you're right. Okay, I get the joke now. And then I would always joke with people. I did a crank Yankers bit where I called a funeral home and I just said, I'm the son and my mom died. And then I said, no child should ever have to bury a parent. And she went, oh, you're so right. You're so right.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

But Adam.

[Drake Bell]

And you say stuff with gravitas. People go like, yeah, no, you're right.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

But Adam, you forget the boomers were raised with laugh tracks because they can't perceive humor.

[Drake Bell]

Oh, that's right.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Unless there's a laugh track. Boomers. That's why we need a sarcasm font on Twitter. It's like, no, no, no. You need a sarcasm font because you can't perceive things other than at face value. And to your point, there are a lot of people who are politically ambivalent and. And that's fine for them. If you see someone on TV all passionate, it's kind of like wwe. Okay, this person's fighting for me. Look how worked up they are. They care. They go by secondary characteristics, like emotional outbursts and things like that.

[Drake Bell]

Yeah, they're almost more like pets. Like when you get really upset, your dog will come up to you and like, push its nose at you. Like, they're more Labrador than they are human being. They're just getting some. Wow. Maisie Heron seems very upset about JFK Jr. So what's your prediction? I mean, my hope is that Trump kicks a ton of ass, good things happen. We get kind of used to it and go, no more word salad. Politicians. We want to get shit done. And that would be nice to move forward from this day on as Americans. But I don't know.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I don't think that's ever gonna happen. I think people want word salad. It's gonna be a thing. I am excited about the opportunities for international relations. I think him pulling back our presence everywhere on earth is gonna be very healthy. I think him encouraging more countries, like with this USAID stuff to be more self reliant is more healthy as well. And I think one of the things that he's done, and I'm sure you agree, is to inculcate this huge sense of skepticism toward the corporate press. For decades, the Republicans will be ranting and raving about the Democrats, the Democrats, Democrats. The Democrats come and go. The New York Times is still here. It's been here for quite some time. That's your enemy. It's not Nancy Pelosi. She's just a crook. She doesn't have these kind of depraved ideologies. And then behind the New York Times you have the universities. So if he takes the fight to the universities, as he seems to have signaled during his campaign, I'm going to be absolutely giddy. And the thing is, they are not staffed with heavyweights. These people are heavyweights in terms of their field. They can tell you inside out everything about British literature. But if you look at their social media output, these are not impressive mindset strategy and tactics. So that is something I'm really excited about. And also the Department of Education and Increasing homeschooling and Decreasing government schooling, which are literal prisons for children. If once you have, like 20% of the country of the kids who are, like, know how to think for themselves, the jig is up.

[Drake Bell]

Yeah, no, I agree. The school choice and vouchers and the whole lot of it is something I'm excited about and getting rid of the Board of Education. And I love. I love to hear people squeal about, you know, kids being left behind and who's gonna. Same people that shut the fucking schools for two years, by the way, are the ones who are so worried about. About the kids, you know, and it just cracks. It cracks me up. I love to see them get their panties in a bunch. And. Yeah, what happened was, is the colleges, I coined this phrase called crate training, which is, you gotta get them young, you know?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah. Lennon said this.

[Drake Bell]

You can't crate train a dog when it's, you know, nine years old. You gotta get him as a puppy and then they'll learn. And they figured out, like, well, college is good for training, but they're kids like my son, who's 18, who thinks like I think, who's not gonna be affected by college. But maybe if you could get hold of him when he was 7 and start poisoning his brain with your indoctrination bullshit, then he would, by the time he was 18, think, like we want him to think. So it started as college, but it's now trickled all the way down to grade school because they figured out, let's just get them in the crate early.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

And that's why they're so desperate to put measures to encourage children to tell things to teachers and not have the teachers tell the parents.

[Drake Bell]

Right.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I'm from the Soviet Union. It's a very Soviet technique. It's a very effective technique. Create the trust relationship between the government agent and the child and create a division between the child and his family. And once you have that kid, you have that kid for life. And you can make them hate dad. And that's why you vote for Officer Harris, because dad likes Trump and Trump reminds you of dad. And I'm gonna show you dad. I'm gonna vote for this mongoloid.

[Drake Bell]

Well, you know, it's interesting. I think we got a clip that I've been sitting on for a little while. It was Chris Hayes and he was talking. Yeah, I know. He's such an idiot. You know what's funny about these guys? They all carry themselves like such intellectuals when they're really just 10 cent heads.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah, but Adam, it's a great feint.

[Drake Bell]

Yeah, it is. And he's talking to Bill Maher about trans kids. And Bill Maher was starting to sound semi normal. And we have it somewhere in our computer. But we're a little bit shorthanded today, so might take a second to find. But if you listen to him and how he sort of answers Bill Maher and the angles he works, it's interesting. It has a lot of sort of propaganda techniques in it. It kind of reminds me of like when people say, listen, I just think women should be allowed to make their own decisions about healthcare. You know what I mean? It's like, yeah, you and everyone else nobody's talking about.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Are you familiar with the expression Mott and Bailey?

[Drake Bell]

No. Tell me.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

The Mott and Bailey is a rhetorical technique. It's very disingenuous where the Mott is like the field, the Bailey is the castle. Right. So they'll say something that everyone agrees with, then create a controversial, then say something controversial. Then we retreat to the, the first thing, for example, do you. Don't you agree, Adam, that women should have control of their bodies? Sure. Right. So abortion should be legal to nine months? I didn't say that. Well, you just said so. It's the same thing with. Don't you think kids who have mental issues should be treated and, and treated with respect? Absolutely. Right. So you agree. Blah, blah, blah, blah. So it's complete bs. And here's another thing that's really kind of insane. We've all heard these stories of like kids who are like locked in cages as a kid or raised by wolves. You know, they tell you with a straight face. Well, that was straight Faith, they're lying. Oh, puberty blockers are reversible, Right? We know about gymnasts who, like their growth is stunted because, you know, little girls or they get their menses much later. Oh, you could just pause it. So, like, I'm short and I'm gonna start growing again. All of a sudden, my growth plates are gonna open up. It makes no sense. They know it makes no sense. And that's why, at a certain point, I think people realized these people are not negotiating good faith. So there's no point even talking to them. Cause they don't believe what they say even as they say it.

[Drake Bell]

Well, here's Chris Hayes now. I don't know who's in charge of this clip, but I need to see you because I'm gonna. I'm gonna start and stop you on this so you can listen to his interesting little techniques. And also Bill Maher and his stupid. I'll tell you what Bill Maher suffers from. He has a guy in the audience that gets the clap going real fast. And somebody says something sort of asinine, but it sounds good. Like, listen, government, stay out of my bedroom. This guy just jumps on it all the time, and people clap. He's way too happy with the clappy is what I'm gonna say. All right, here's idiot Chris Hayes talking to Bill Maher about the transgender situation.

[E]

I don't think there's anyone who hasn't had a moment across the political spectrum of some form of progressive communication that's either left them bewildered or a little like, eh, I don't know about that. But I also think at the same time, there is a message of what I would call, like, common sense, patriotic pluralism. That is a majority message, which is like, if some father and mother have health care for their kid lined up, who's trans, just stay the fuck out of their business.

[Michael Malice]

Wow.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Like the clapping.

[Drake Bell]

All right, pause, pause, pause. I told you I was coming with the pause. It's health care for their child who is trans. So it's like saying, all right, the kid needs an epidectomy. Oh, no, he's trans. No, that's not what we're saying. We're saying, don't cut his dick off at 12 years old. But he says healthcare. Don't you. It's basically what you said. Don't you think trans kids should have access to healthcare? It's like, yeah, of course. Everyone thinks everyone should have access. But you're saying trans kids. We're talking about transing a kid using the Health care. Yeah, he's talking. So you can run it back 10 seconds, but listen to his bullshit claims. And then also the clappy guy thing, like stay out of their business.

[E]

Their kid lined up who's trans. Just stay the fuck out of their business. Let them make that decision. That's their decision to make. And you don't have to make that for your family. I'm not going to tell you what to do.

[Drake Bell]

I mean, but the argument is whether the child should make the decision.

[E]

But the child is never making the decision. The parents are always making the decision. Parents consent to medical care.

[Drake Bell]

Well, here in California, you're allowed to hide it from the parents. If the kid. It's yes, thank you. One person. But I mean, somebody knows that is.

[E]

The case, I think in the vast majority. And we. We've been hearing from parents right now whose kids. Medical care has been interrupted. Interrupted. I think there's a way to talk about.

[Drake Bell]

Well, of course they would say it's not medical care. They would say that is what they're saying. Disfiguring a child.

[E]

I think they should mind their own business. I really do. I think they should mind their own business. Okay, can I say about a lot of things? I think.

[Drake Bell]

Well, let him finish one second. All right, pause it. Yes, go ahead. Yeah.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Here's what I think. First of all, I think Chris Hayes probably is a trans kid because he looks like every gender simultaneously.

[Drake Bell]

He does.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Other than that, I really believe this. People who are arguing that kids can make informed decisions about their gender are one step away from saying kids can make informed decisions about their sex.

[Drake Bell]

Yeah.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I think this is a very slippery slope because everyone listening this knows that a lot of child abuse happens within families and no one would argue, well, the dad's doing this to the kids, so stay out of it and mind your own business. No one would say that, but Chris is using. Invoking that. It's very disingenuous and it's very dangerous. And this, combined with how much child abuse is swept on the rug by the corporate press leaves me extremely uneasy.

[Drake Bell]

He does look like every gender put together.

[F]

I thought that was fat, Ellen.

[Drake Bell]

Yeah, he's like an everything bagel. All right, so I don't know if he's Jewish or not. Don't get me wrong.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

He's not Chris. His name's Chris.

[Drake Bell]

He continues. He continues. We continue with Chris Hayes, which is a very interesting. Another tactic, which is we're talking about something that is really controversial, which is transing an underage kid. And then at some Point. He steers it back to something sort of inane and sort of benign. And they want listen else what we want control of. And it's interesting. So it's that technique you kind of talk about where this is very damaging and very controversial. And then he picks something that nobody cares about and goes, why do they care so much? Nobody cares about that. All right, we'll play the rest of the Chris Hayes clip. If we can find that, you can roll it back 10 seconds and we'll roll into. Listen to what his last point is. And then also realize these guys are professional sort of point makers, except for their points never hold water. And also, you're losing the argument if you just say something like, hey, just mind your own business. Yeah, right.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

They're not losing the argument. They're shutting down the argument. It's an effective technique.

[Drake Bell]

Tim Walz was telling everyone to mind their own business all the way on the campaign while he set up a snitch line for Covid people in Minnesota. So I don't know, shall we mind our own business or shall we snitch on our neighbor's campaign? All right, we'll play it. You have the clip, right? We don't have the clip. We had the clip is what I would say, but it went somewhere.

[E]

Oh, we have to pull it back up.

[Drake Bell]

Okay, well, probably don't get rid of it. If we're just going to say we're stopping and going to continue on. We'll find it. Yeah, we're on a little bit of a rainy day. Rainy day. No one came in. I know we got people that don't normally do this doing it, but why get rid of the clip? I guess is what I'm saying. We're just stop and there we go. We'll play. We don't need to see it. You can just play it if you want.

[E]

I don't think there's anyone who hasn't had a moment across the political spectrum of some form of progressive communication that's either left them bewildered or a little like, eh, I don't know about that. But I also think at the same time there is a message of what I would call like common sense. Patriotic pluralism. Yeah, that is a majority message, which is like, if some father and mother have health care for their kid lined up, who's trans, just stay the fuck out of their business. Business, like, and let them make that decision. That's their decision to make. And you don't have to make that for your family. I'm not going to tell you what.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

To do with your family.

[Drake Bell]

I mean, but the argument is whether the child should make the decision.

[E]

But the child is never making the decision. The parents are always making the decision. Parents consent to medical care.

[Drake Bell]

Well, here in California, you're allowed to hide it from the parents. If the kid, it's yes, thank you. One person. But I mean, somebody knows that is the case.

[E]

I think in the vast majority we've been hearing from parents right now whose kids medical care has been interrupted. I think there's a way to talk about.

[Drake Bell]

Well, of course they would say it's not medical care. They would say that is what they're saying. Disfiguring a child.

[E]

I think they should mind their own business.

[Michael Malice]

I really do.

[E]

I think they should mind their own business. And I think that's true about a lot of things. I think there is this sense in which there was this sort of backlash politics, some of which I understood, some of which people I know felt that way. I don't think what people wanted was for the women CIA agents at the CIA to be told that they can't get together once a month to like, celebrate former women spies.

[Drake Bell]

All right, pause. No one gives a fuck about that. Nobody ever said anything about it. No one's thought about it. No one knew about it. You took trans and then you basically married it to something benign. Women CIA agents getting together for a reunion to talk about their experiences.

[F]

I think that's called a straw woman.

[Drake Bell]

Yeah, nobody cares. There's not a human being I know on either side of the aisle that would have any thoughts about that.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I think the other thing is when Chris says, stay out of their business, all he's saying is he doesn't care. And when he says the kids are making these decisions for awfuls, affluent white female liberals, having a trans kid's like, win the lottery. They got huge status. Trans mom. I get to wear the shirt. It's like when the dad back in the day would have a football player captain the football team son. It's the greatest thing that's ever happened to them. And so many women are being encouraged through society and everything out there. If they have a young gay boy to try to transition him, oh, look, he played with a doll. Let's get him on some estrogen.

[Drake Bell]

Yeah, I know. It becomes a narcissistic endeavor. I. Yes, I know a person. I don't like them, but I know a person who has a trans kid, and this bitch brings it up every time you talk to her, even if you're just passing her in. The hall. It's not like her kid's with her, for Christ's sake. I got kids. I never bring them up in front of her. And Cynthia Nixon the other day is up there screaming about, I have trans. Everyone I know is trans. My kid's friends are trans. And everyone's just clapping their ass off like she's some kind of hero for having fucked up kids or nieces or nephews or whatever it is. So it's all kind of all roads lead to narcissism is how I describe it.

[F]

Munchausen.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Munchausen's by proxy.

[Drake Bell]

Yeah, yeah, we're there. All right, let's take a quick break. Michael, hang with us. We'll do a little news right after this. Oh, oh, oh. O'Reilly Auto Parts. Bam. You know the song, right? Mm. They're in the business of keeping your car on the road. O'Reilly Auto Parts offers friendly, helpful service and all the parts and knowledge you need to maintain and repair your automobile. Always been an O'Reilly guy. Used to go the one out in North Hollywood when I was over there. Then I moved to La Crescenta and went to the one up on Foothill. Still swing by there every once in a while because I'm a hands on guy. So whether you're a car aficionado or an auto novice, you'll find the employees at O'Reilly Auto Parts are knowledgeable, helpful, and best off, they're friendly because some of those auto parts guys can be a little tough around the edges. Stop by O'Reilly Auto Parts today or you can visit us at O'ReillyAuto.com Adam, that's O'ReillyAuto.com select quote there's so many things in life we just never get around to taking up that hobby, cleaning out the garage, you know. You know you need to do that. You know, little things that don't really make huge differences in our lives yet there is one thing that most of us have probably been neglecting that can have a huge impact on our family's future. It's life insurance. And with select quote, getting covered with the right policy for you is easier and more affordable than you may think. If you have high blood pressure, no problem. If you have diabetes, that's fine, too. Even if you have heart disease, Selectquote partners with carriers that can cover those conditions and others. Head to selectquote.com and a licensed insurance agent will call you right away with the right policy for your life and your budget. It is select quote right, Dawson? Select quote they shop you Save get the right life insurance quote for you for [e-mail] Corolla Go to SelectQuote.com Corolla today to get started that SelectQuote.com Corolla.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Pluto TV is the place for movie fans like me and TV fans like me.

[Drake Bell]

They've got something for everyone and it's totally free. You can binge laugh out loud sitcoms.

[Michael Malice]

Like Frasier and rewatch cult classics like Higher Learning. Whether you're in the mood to solve a little crime before bedtime with NCIS or Tracker or curl up with a.

[Drake Bell]

Surefire hit like Forrest Gump Run Forest. Pluto TV has thousands of movies and shows, all for free. Pluto TV stream now pay never. And now Alcoa presents Definitely Not a Jew on the Adam Carolla show. Dateline, Phoenix, Virginia. A 58 year old man was killed in a hunting accident when the animal shot by one of his hunting partners fell on him from a tree. The animal was a bear. Definitely not a Jew. All right, let's do some news with mayhem Miller.

[F]

Let's get after it. We did cover this earlier in the show, but here it is in black and white. In the Aftermath of the COVID 19 pandemic, American students are grappling with with significant learning deficits in both the reading and mathematics.

[Drake Bell]

Yeah, because it hurt kids, because you throw them out of school for long periods of time. So I don't know what they thought, I don't know what they thought was going to happen to the kids once they either school's important or it's not. If it's not, fuck it. Good, we won't go.

[F]

I'll let you know this. The average student is trailing by approximately half a grade level compared to pre pandemic benchmarks. There is some resilience shown in some schools. In Compton, California, targeted interventions such as in class, tutoring and data chats have yielded substantial academic gains. However, the trend is downward. Half a grade.

[Drake Bell]

Well, the thing that's weird about our government is we talk about removing something like Department of Education that is flawed and broken, and then they get outraged and go, what are you talking about? You're gonna throw away education? And it's sort of like, yes, it doesn't work. If it's not effective, then it can't be both, it can't be ineffective. And you're outraged that I wanna remodel it. You know what I mean? I'm basically walking into a house where the toilet is always leaking on the bathroom floor and then I go, I think we need to work on this to. And you're outraged.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I think their answer is always, more money, more money, more money. And if you say, okay, how much money? It's always going to be more. Well, I can't write the word more in a check. Like, literally, what is the number where you come up with it? I don't know. We'll find it. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

[Drake Bell]

Yeah, I agree. I like competition. Wherever you remove the competition, the product always suffers, and the public school system removes that. And then also, they get to sort of do things by fiat. Like, they just announced there's no more school and there's nothing you can do about it. If you live in Southern California, and my kids had to stay home for over a year, it screwed them up.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

But in what other circumstances, other than literal prison, are you locked in a building with your violent tormentors with no recourse? And I know some conservatives say, say that's a good lesson to learn. It's not. Because if I'm in an office and my coworker starts slamming me into the wall, the answer isn't, well, you're both at fault. The answer is a lawsuit, and I'm going to get rich, and he's going to fire. It's a very deranged lesson to teach, and it teaches kids to be fearful and obedient, which is not what you want to teach the citizens of a free country. You want them to be angry and you want them to be defiant.

[F]

What's your take on dismantling the Department of Education, and what should it be replaced with?

[Drake Bell]

With.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I'm in favor of dismantling Department of Education employees.

[Drake Bell]

Yeah, well, also, I mean, look, I don't know. Here's a metaphor, but. All right, I opened the fridge. I had food left over from a party, and I wanted to feed my employees. And I hate it when people leave stuff open in the fridge and it gets dried out and goes bad. And I hate throwing away food and I hate waste. So. So I took a bunch of time and I undid the. It was in a metal aluminum thing, and I had to pull, like, all the flaps all. And I set it on top, and I pushed them all back and I crimped it all down, and it was all nice and sealed. And then I walked in this morning, and I looked at it, and the top was just sitting on it, sort of haphazard, but I could see a lot of daylight, and nobody had taken the time to put it back and seal it. And I thought to myself, I bet they'd do a better job if they were at home and that was their lasagna that was going south.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Adam, this isn't the Grapes of Wrath. Like, lasagna's plentiful. Like, I'll be happy to send you a lasagna if you need a lasagna.

[F]

I don't know where he's from.

[Drake Bell]

It's a metaphor for the difference between your stuff and other people's stuff. And people do a pretty good job with their stuff. Like, Thomas Sowell will explain this to you. But when it comes to my stuff, and you already got your slice of lasagna, you're not gonna take the time to put this lid back on correctly, which does take a couple of minutes. And then I realized, oh, that's essentially what we're talking about with government. Your money, the way you spend your money. You're pretty thoughtful about it when it's just coming in. Then why wouldn't the bureaucracy just keep growing? And who cares if you got another tutor who taught this and didn't care about that? And just the way the system works is there used to be two office people for every 30 students, and now there's 40 office people for every 20 students. You know, and it just keeps adding on, because it's not their money, is what I'm saying.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I don't care if it's wasteful, if the kids actually learn skills and were developed into healthy adults. What I care about is how malevolent and depraved what they're being taught is and how screwed up the environment is. That's the big issue. It's not that we're spending the money. We can afford the money, and other countries, you know, spending similar amounts or even less than us. But the point is, we have it. What these kids are being turned into is the real issue here. I don't think there's any price that's too high if you're gonna have a quality education system. Cause we're gonna be the best country on earth. And you want a population that's informed and educated. The way they're doing it now, it's not the waste that's the issue. It's what they're doing effectively that's the problem, in my opinion.

[Drake Bell]

Well, no, you're right. And two things can be right at once, which is because not only are they fucking the kids up, but they want more money to do more of what they're doing. So I'm with you. I want a better outcome. But I also in general, just don't like wasting taxpayer dollars. You know, that's not infinite. It could go to a park or a road.

[F]

I'm glad you mentioned the waste because in a significant development, the Department of Homeland Security announced the termination of four Federal Emergency Management Agency, or FEMA employees for unauthorized payments totaling $59 million to New York City for migrant housing. Oh, that individuals dismissed include FEMA's chief financial officer, two program analyst and a grant specialist.

[Drake Bell]

Well, but I mean, really, how else would it go if you just had sort of unlimited money pouring in and allocated it however the fuck you wanted wanted it couldn't really go any other way. And it's always funny when they go, Elon Musk and you hear Liz Warren, you got some billionaire. It's like, I want the guy to be a billionaire. What I don't want is Hunter Biden and Joe Biden and Jim Biden and the rest of the Bidens trying to get by in 186k a year and needing to get supplemented from Ukraine. I want someone who's independently wealthy, me making these decisions. Also, it is funny that billionaire in the last 10 minutes became a pejorative. You know, it used to be bum. Now billionaires are pejorative. Like, they literally just go, this billionaire and his billionaire buddies. Like I'm like, when I was a kid, that was a good thing. That meant that guy was super smart.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Unless it's George Soros or Jeff Bezos, in which case we don't talk about that, right? The other thing that's crazy about what I was just saying earlier, clear 59 million is a drop in the bucket compared to the federal budget. If they had just pocketed that money, I'd prefer that they did that. Then shove all these migrants into New York with the consequences that we saw not that long ago.

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[Drake Bell]

Agreed. All right, what else you got, man?

[F]

Let's lighten it up a bit with company sanctioned sex days proposed to boost productivity and employee well being. I'll be putting in a notice for that later. Adam. In a groundbreaking move to enhance workplace productivity and employee satisfaction, some companies are considering offering sex days paid time off dedicated to intimacy and sexual wellness. A recent study by Zip Health, an online pharmacy, surveyed 800 employees and 200 managers across various industries and age groups. The findings revealed that 50% of employees who took time off for sexual activity reported a noticeable increase in their work output upon returning. I mean, I read all that and I definitely banged this morning.

[Drake Bell]

Oh, you did?

[F]

Oh, yeah.

[Drake Bell]

Oh, nice feeling.

[F]

Very relaxed, smooth.

[Drake Bell]

I don't. To me, it's a sort of. Look, you caught me on a bad day. Cause I got a bunch of fucking people missing today. And it drives me nuts how casual everybody is with work. They're just sort of float in or they float out, or they go, I gotta cut out early or. Or it's raining so I gotta leave early or I gotta. Different generations, they schedule everything for workdays. They go, I got a dentist appointment or I gotta pick my in laws up from the airport. It's like, don't do it in the middle of the day when you're supposed to be working. I had people work for me, like, I'm gonna be out a couple days. And I go, what are you doing? They go, I gotta help my wife with her work. I was like, tell your wife you have a job as well. Then there's Adam. Yes.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Don't you think maybe that was their euphemism for saying they're gonna go on a bender with their wife?

[Drake Bell]

Maybe it was a sex day. I'm just saying we have, like, if your cat dies, you can take a few grief days off now and all that. It's a slippery slope. There's like, way too many guys are taking off days for the birth. You know, they're taking off the paternity days as well or the maternity days. Like, yeah, but Adam, you're the boss.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

You're letting them.

[F]

Well, experts argue that also, I don't.

[Drake Bell]

Know what to do. I just show up and someone. I go, where's Byron? I go, he's not here. I go, where is he? He's at the dentist.

[F]

The experts argue that embracing sexual wellness could redefine workplace wellness program, leading to improved Mental health and reduced stigma. As companies explore innovative ways to support their employees, sex days may become part of the evolving landscape of workplace benefits.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

This is going to lead to increased self harm because everyone who shows up to work, you know, they're incels. So they're going to be looking around and knowing who's getting laid and who's not. And it's going to be very, very dark.

[Drake Bell]

Yeah. And it's going to take a new sort of twist. Yeah. Because like, Bert hasn't missed a day in four years. Like, yeah, sad. Super sa to hold them up as beacons of virtue. Now they're just guys who can't get laid. Did it use any of his sex days? Yeah. And also we start accusing them of spending a little too much time in the men's room. Like, what are we doing in there, Bert? Why do you have to lock the door? I don't get it. I just want to use the urinal next to the commode. We had to lock the door behind you. That's interesting. You got a little sweat on your brow there, Bert. You okay? Haven't missed a day. Geez, I've been here for four years. I don't think you've ever missed a day.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Or it could be Jane yourself. Keeps going off. I keep even humming it on your desk. Why don't you just turn it on to mute?

[Drake Bell]

Yeah, I don't know. I just come from. I come from construction. You showed up, you got paid, or you didn't show up and you didn't get paid. And it kept everyone. I've talked to Dr. Drew about this. You know what kept everyone in line? Time cards. You'd come in, you'd punch the thing and then you'd have to punch out for lunch. And by the way, you could take an hour and a half lunch, but you're not. You gotta punch in, you gotta come in, and then you could leave early, but you gotta punch out. Time cards sort of were the great. Sort of created the guardrails and the barriers. Like the great sort of leveler of life. Like the time card just kept everyone in check. Cause you couldn't really work around it. Every once in a while someone would try to convince somebody to punch in for them, you know, when they got. But see, I wish I had time cards. I'm telling you. Look, we're complaining. I'm complaining as much as I want to complain about schools and school closures and unions and stuff like that. If we told every one of these fucking teachers, you can stay home as much as you want, you're not getting paid. You got to go to work to get paid. If you want to stay home and tele educate or whatever, that's fine, but you do it on your dime. We're not paying you. Then it would have solved the problem if the LA Unified School Teachers had a time clock and a punch card, and no one would go, oh, we're gonna take a year and a half off, and we'd go home and get paid and I'll work out of my bathrobe and hello Kitty slippers. It makes people do the wrong thing. It's sad, but it's no different than what we're just talking about with Doge and everything else. It's just tons of money, no accountability, and it goes south almost immediately.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

That was one of the things Trump did on day one, I think, where he eliminated a lot of these jobs who were remote working. He's like, you're going to the office. I don't wanna hear it.

[Drake Bell]

Right? Yeah. I mean, because people were. I don't know, they were averaging like two days a month or something, like the federal people. Look, I never miss a day of work because I don't get paid if I don't go to work. So I don't need a time clock because gravity keeps me in line. There's no such thing as canceling a show, because I can cancel a show. I just don't get paid. So I'm fine. And by the way, magically, mysteriously never miss it any work, because I'm kept in line by this sort of gravity that I have to live with on a daily basis. But if you take everyone and you just tell school teachers you want to come in or you don't want to come in, you want to get paid, but you can get paid if you go home, then magically they'll vote to go home, right?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah, of course. I mean, you think lasagna's cheap.

[Drake Bell]

Yeah, that's right. And I get to try the lasagna even though I paid for the lasagna. All right, let's give Michael a plug. The podcast. You're welcome. With Michael Malice can be found anywhere you find finer podcasts. Yeah. Which is a vestige of my past. But I'm gonna say that. Where else. What else can I do, Mike? Where else can we send people for you?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Anyway? Twitter.com, michaelMalis. I have a pretty big audience there. This has just been a great. I've been a big admirer of yours for a long time, so A lot of people have been yelling at you for a long time to have me on the show, so I'm glad it finally happened.

[Drake Bell]

Well, you can come back anytime, and I'd be happy to come onto your podcast.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Oh, I would love that. I'll follow up with Daphne.

[Drake Bell]

Please follow up with Daphne because I'd love to be a guest on your show as well.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Oh, hell yeah.

[Drake Bell]

Awesome. Thanks.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Take care, guys. I really enjoyed it.

[Drake Bell]

Appreciate it. All right, I am not gonna be at the first thing that's on my Vince thing, because the guy who does that is not here today. So we didn't have that thing worked out. But I'm going to San Luis Obispo and I'm going to Monterey and I'm going to Napa. If I can read that from here. Coming up at the end of the month, you can go to AdamKroll.com for all the live shows. Until next time, it's Adam Kroll for Drake Bell and Michael Malice and Mayhem say it's mahalo.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Pluto TV is the place for movie.

[Drake Bell]

Fans like me and TV fans like me. They've got something for everyone, and it's totally free. You can binge laugh out loud sitcoms.

[Michael Malice]

Like Frasier and rewatch cult classics like Higher Learning. Whether you're in the mood to solve a little crime before bedtime with NCIS or Tracker, or curl up with a.

[Drake Bell]

Surefire hit like Forrest Gump. Run Forrest. Pluto TV has thousands of movies and shows, all for free. Pluto TV stream now pay never.