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A
In this show, Rudy Pavic hangs in and cracks wise and then he does the news and we'll do that right after this. Thanks for tuning in to the Adam Carolla Show. You can watch the full show on YouTube. Just search Adam Carolla show and hit subscribe so you never miss an episode. You can also get the podcast wherever you like to listen. And for extra content, ad free episodes and more, you can head over to our substack and sign up today. Hey, this is Adam Carolla from the Adam Carolla Show. Prediction markets talk outcomes. BetOnline puts odds behind them. For decades, bettors have trusted BetOnline for accurate lines, deep prop markets and real money action across every major sport. Get the latest odds, live props in game betting and expert pricing throughout the season and beyond. And when you're ready for a different kind of thrill, Betonline Casino delivers nonstop action and premium rewards. Don't guess with the crowd, bet with the book. That's been doing it right for years. Bet online. The game starts here.
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TV we're celebrating Black History Month with our free curated collection of black entertainment.
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A
No ifs, ands or buts abouts.
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Catch award winning films like Dreamgirls, Monster's Ball and Selma.
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A
We must make a massive demonstration.
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B
Iconic hits like School Days and Set it all. Plus full seasons of shows like Tyler Perry's Sisters and Power.
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A
I got you it.
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Star studded brilliant black entertainment. And it's all free. It's getting good this month and always on Pluto TV stream. Now pay never.
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This episode is brought to you by Simplisafe. From Corolla One studios in Glendale, California. This is the Adam Carolla Show. Today we got the news with Rudy Pavich. And now Adam Carolla. Yeah, get it on. Got to get it on. No choice but I mandate you get it on. And Rudy's in studio. Got a lot of stuff to talk about.
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C
What's happening?
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A
Oh, I was just thinking we were talking about off the air. I talk to Dr. Drew about this all the time. There's no hierarchy anymore. So there is no boss.
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C
Yes.
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A
So the boss can say something and the janitors can say something, but they're equal because there is no boss. We got rid of Higher.
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C
Yeah. Remember when the ladder used to go up and now it's one of those ladders at the fair on a rope that just goes level like this and then you have to try to get across. There's no going up the ladder anymore.
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A
No climbing that ladder or that gym rope.
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C
Yeah.
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A
All right, so lots of stuff to get into Today, the great Robert Duvall passed, so I'm told. Interesting guy. Probably last of the old school who did it their own way. Hollywood. Hollywood. It's funny because Hollywood was dude on dude. It was like Charlton Heston and John Wayne and famously all these, like, hard drinking, womanizing, you know, doing his own, you know. You know. You know when he found out, when Cuffy Eubanks found out his girlfriend was pregnant, he punched her in the belly, cussed her out and left her.
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C
How dare she?
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A
How dare she. Like, weird stuff like that, you know. And he drove his Stutz Bearcat off a cliff and he was seven times the legal. You know, and whatever, a better time. Yeah. And now it's all fucking pussies. It's all like Mark Ruffalo and it's like a competition to see who the biggest pussy is. And back then it was a competition to see who the manliest man was.
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C
Yeah, a lot of it wasn't acting. Like when John Wayne would say stuff like, load your hands, you sons of bitches. He was talking to the PA behind the camera. He wasn't talking. He was like getting after people.
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A
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's a whole new world order. But it's interesting that, I don't know, maybe we passed through the middle in like the year 2000 or 2005 or something when actors were just sort of actors versus womanizing alcoholics versus weeping pussies now, you know what I mean? There must have been some mid level, something from 1957 to 2026. We must have passed through some sort of neutral zone in 1997 where dudes were just dudes and they weren't misogynist. But also they weren't all pussy whipped either.
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C
Don Johnson.
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A
Don Johnson, he's like right in the.
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C
Middle, you know, like old school kind of guy, but not a dude you'd think that would be out like, you know, punching his pregnant girlfriend in the stomach.
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A
Been married for 30 years. Yeah, that guy.
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C
That guy, yeah.
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A
All right, so anyway, Gene Hackman. Sorry, not Gene Hackman, Robert Duvall. Robert Duvall. Old school dude. But if you listen to this podcast for the last 10 years, you will understand that I did have a problem with the man. Not personally, but in one of his greatest roles, which is gone in 60 seconds, the remake, and he's playing the mentor dude who's a dude like he's got, by the way. I don't know why, but I'll tell you what you're not looking for in an auto body shop. Dimly lit, but Every body shop in a movie is dimly lit. And the other thing you'd like in an auto body shop is nice circulation because your dealing with resins and epoxies and lacquer thinner. And it's always dimly lit with a fan that's up on the wall. It's one of those wall mounted fans. It's huge, like four feet. And it's turning about one revolution every 80 seconds, which is not exactly an exhaust fan pulling all the fumes out of the lacquer you're spraying in there.
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C
They make it seem like a chop shop. And there's always sparks flying sparks. I don't need sparks in my auto body grinding.
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A
Everyone is grind. And they did figure out like one thing hot chicks could do in movies and commercials was grind shit. Because a grinder is just a right angle 6 inch thing and you just turn it on and all you have to do is lean it against a piece of steel and sparks will shoot out. And then at some point she can stop grinding and take her welder's hood back to reveal a super hot chick. And then she'd be like McMannix, I didn't think I'd see your face around here again. Right now get back to grinding this never ending grinding that's going on. But anyway, Robert Duvall keeps cassettes of cars he likes. And I'll tell you, he's talking about a Daytona 4 Cam Ferrari, which is a really cool vintage race car. Like a 71, 72 one just sold six months ago at Pebble beach for like 9 million bucks. It was like the most expensive one. But here's how he'll describe it. He's playing it for Memphis rains. Sorry. Memphis Reigns is Nic Cage's character now. We restore, we revive.
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C
Come here. Remember we used to do this, you know, Come here.
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A
Okay.
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C
The Ferrari 365 GTB for Daytona Le Mans 1971 Vodkam.
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B
That's a V12.
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C
V12, right, right, right, right. Here it peaks 5500 RPM.
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A
What do you know about Raymond Calitri? It peaks at 9,500 rpm. 5,500 is. You're not making horsepower at 5,500.
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C
You're losing that race.
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A
You got to redline it. You, by the way, when you look at dyno charts and you see some of these what some of my engines are making at medium or low rpm, it's nothing. It's Toyota Corolla Camry numbers. It's when it gets up into the super redline realm, is when they really start making horsepower. So anyway, it's 9,500 rpm, not 5,500 rpm. Now, to be fair to Duvall, somebody just told him that it was written in the script that way. Here's what I want to know about script writers. How do you know? And the answer is, obviously you don't. So don't you want to look it up? Like, if I was like, this guy, you know, the average bull mastiff male dog, weighs 60 pounds, I'd be like, well, I don't really know that I would have to go look up to see what an average. If I had my character saying something, I would go look it up. Especially if I was a fucking nerd and I didn't know anything about this subject.
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C
Yeah. Cause usually they'll drop it on you, and then you go, is that right? And then they go, I don't know. And then they just walk away and never have to correct themselves.
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A
5,500. The streetcar doesn't. The Red Line's not 5,500. Redline is low. It's like American V8 low. Pushrod low. Single cam.
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C
Sure.
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A
Low.
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C
Yeah, yeah, of course.
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A
And I. And even those are higher. But anyway. Anyway. So he'll be missed.
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C
Yeah.
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A
But that's not by the car community. That's all. Not by the four cam Ferrari guys. Yeah.
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C
Two underrated movies that he never gets credit for. And everybody talks about the Godfather, but Colors with Sean Penn. Absolutely amazing movie. So good in it. And then the Paper with Michael Keaton. It's such a good movie. When he comes out, he's screaming at everybody 9:05. And he's yelling at everybody because the meeting's five minutes late. He was great in that movie. And nobody ever talks about those two roles.
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A
Agreed. All right. He was in that movie with Michael Douglas where Michael Douglas kind of loses his mind. Falling down, falling down. And he says, and you leave the.
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C
Skin on the chicken.
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A
Great line. Yeah. And you do. But you don't shift at 5,500 at Le Mans with that four cam, or as he called it, quad cam V12.
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C
Also he said Le Mans. You notice that M A N S. He drops an S in there, too.
- [10:45]
A
Probably said it in the script. Probably said Le Mans. But anyway, you say Le Mans, and I don't know, people think it's hoity toity, but that's just what it's called. Absolutely, that's what they call it. All right, so more car talk. You can hate Trump all you want, but when he got Rid of the start stop button in cars. I will remember him for those kinds of moves. It's an interesting thing to have a politician talk about little stuff that's sort of real. The thing I always hated about Kamala and Joe Biden, it was like a lot of euphemistic seats at the table and everyone's welcome and we have to create a society and blah, blah, blah. But I never really heard anything specific. I love no tax on tips. Okay, that's a thought. That's the thing, that start stop button drives me insane in an automobile. And that's when you pull up to the light, the engine stops and then it fires up again and it drives everyone nuts. And he's like, no more of that. It's just an EPA bullshit, Obama era thing that he went, fuck it, get rid of it.
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C
Yeah.
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A
And by the way, it adds to the cost of the car, everybody.
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C
Sure. Yeah. Because I was always wondering what it is. Do you really save that much gas? Is it really that much sort of CO2 that goes into the air because of it? And it seems like every time they try to do this nonsense, there's always some sort of repercussions that they never thought about. They never thought about. Maybe it would just drive everybody who is, no pun intended, insane while they're sitting at a stoplight waiting for their car. Well, especially at night when you're at. It's 2am and you hit that red light, it's unnerving. Yeah, absolutely.
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A
Yeah. I think you're going to get carjacked. All right, so we got rid of that. That's good. I had like two car trailer situations in like a three day span, which is interesting, but also it reminded me that knowing how to do stuff is good and like problem solving is good. And I didn't really realize if you have a kind of problem solving brain, you don't realize how much it's applied. But then also you don't realize how so many people don't have that. And then you get flummoxed, perplexed and angered when you hear their stupid ideas all the time because you're passing it through your problem solving brain. So first, comically, I had a car here. One of my first. My first vintage race car, Datsun 610Bob Sharp, later to form Newman Sharp. But this was Bob Sharp before Newman Danbury, Connecticut passed recently. Good dude. And it's original paint lacquer from back in the day, blah, blah, blah. And it's the first car I bought, I bought on ebay. And went vintage racing in it. And it's the kind of car. It's not really worth that much. I don't really. It's my first sort of vintage car. It's original Bob Sharp scheme, paint scheme which doesn't exist anywhere. Guys restore the cars and they repaint them, and they even hit me up on occasion to look at my car to get the color right or whatever, because I have one of the few. Maybe the only original Bob Sharp, I think maybe the only original paint. The other ones got painted and wrecked and whatever. But a couple of things I always tell everyone. All the major Japanese teams was Bob Sharp and the East Coast Electromotive out here, and. And. And Pete Brock and Bre. Oh, I just dropped a vlog on. On the Bre. 510. All, you know, coincidentally, all red, white, and blue color schemes. I tell people all the time. There's all four major. Three major teams spread out racing Datsuns and all with the red, white, and blue color scheme. And then someone said once, why. What kind of coincidences did they all pick? Because it could be gold and black. Could be anything you want. Why is it all red, white and blue? Yeah, I was like, if you just got done bombing Pearl harbor and you wanted to sell some of your product in the country that you bombed, you might want to paint your shit red, white and blue.
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C
Absolutely.
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A
Yeah, that might help. If you do the giant sun on the roof with the white car, you might not move as many units. So this is not that long after they bombed Pearl harbor, and you're trying to break into this market in the early 70s, late 60s.
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C
Is that why your color scheme on your cars is really red, white and blue? Cause you're like, you know what? Those Japanese podcasts, we're gonna kick the shit out of those podcasts. We're coming for you.
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A
Yeah, well, all the. Oh, yeah, Electromotive. I'm sorry. The car I loaded in, which is a 300zx, is a. Is a Clayton Cunningham car. These were Z cars that ran in the 90s. One actually won its class at Le Mans. Le Mans. Good name and all that kind of stuff. And there's like eight of them on the planet, and they're really cool pieces. But those were red, white, and blue as well. Yeah, all my cars are red, white, and blue because Newman cars were red, white and blue because he was with Bob Sharp. That was red, white, and blue. The other cars I have are Pete Brock, BRE cars. Those are red, white, and blue. And they're all Japanese. So they all went red, white and blue. So I have Japanese cars. That's why I'm all red, white and blue. My German cars are not red, white and blue. Oh, they're white and like white and blue and then red.
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C
Okay.
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A
I mean, but separately. Sure, yeah, I know I said red, white. Yeah, yeah, but they're all. Oh one's white and pink.
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C
Yeah.
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A
So the Germans were like, a, we didn't bomb Pearl harbor and B, we're Porsche. Fuck you, you don't want one of our cars. You want one of our cars, you fucking blue eyed devil. Go fucking wait in line.
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C
That's right.
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A
Germans are like, you know, we don't need to come in here and suck anyone's dick. You'll be waiting in line to get your fucking hands on one of our cars. Yeah, so that's how they roll.
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C
Yeah, that Russian car, all red with just a little bit of gold accent to it. Man looks great out there.
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A
Sickle going across the roof.
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C
When you talk about Japanese cars. I made a comment to my girlfriend the other day. I was walking through Kansas City and I saw a kid. We've definitely gone from guys like wrenching on their vehicles, these sort of, you know, maybe multimillion dollar cars. These guys just have cars that they sound like tin boxes that they're in their driveway wrenching on and they get the real high end, wee, wee, wee. And my girlfriend said, what is that? And I said, it's a rice burner. And she goes, what the hell is a rice burner? I was like, ooh, that's probably a canceled term that got thrown out a while ago. I don't think you can say that. But was that. That wasn't like what those guys were running back in the day. When you talk about the Japanese cars, they're sort of smaller, compact with the spoilers on them. You're talking more about the style vintage car that you drive. Right.
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A
Well, anyone who went, well, I'm not sure what the question is exactly.
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C
Well, no, I'm saying like, did they have those sort of Japanese cars back then or is that sort of a new thing? The new version of these cars that are like the Japanese style cars that like the Tokyo Drift style car.
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A
Well, that's what they turned into in the 80s and 90s, I guess, and early 2000s. The JDM or whatever they, whatever it's called. There's a thing called, I think it's called jdm. Andrew can look it up. But anyway, Japanese something. Well, mine is like first gen. So these were like didn't have all the ground effects and all the shit that the new ones have. And those are privateers. Those are guys just doing their own thing. That's not race team stuff. So they're not red, white and blue.
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C
Could you almost tell the, can you tell the difference between the two from back in the day or were they just like, this is the best style of a car? You know, when you see a NASCAR today, it's a Chevy, it's a Ford, it's a Dodge, whatever it is. But they all sort of look the same. Was that back in the day when they had the Japanese cars, did those sort of look American? You couldn't tell the difference.
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A
No, they looked different.
- [19:09]
C
Oh, they did okay.
- [19:10]
A
Oh cool. Well, they were much smaller and compact size. Americans made big cars and Japanese made small fuel efficient cars. And nobody really, they looked down on the Japanese cars. Rice burner, derogatory, but rice rocket, that's a big thumbs up. I still like the rice rocket for the Kawasaki four stroke, you know, or two stroke. So America made big bulky cars and Japanese made nimble little cars. And people looked at the little Japanese cars kind of a joke because they were like little and they didn't have a V8. They had small displacement engines, very small. And so we sort of made fun of them. And then the fuel crisis hit, the OPEC fuel crisis hit. And then all of a sudden everyone wanted good fuel mileage. And all of a sudden mileage was a big ass deal because fuel was expensive and there was a shortage. So all of a sudden the Japanese got a foothold in the American market because they were kind of laughed at and then they needed them. And then everyone started getting Japanese cars because they needed the mileage.
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C
Sure. Yeah.
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A
And they were. And they were more durable, probably didn't break down. America was getting kind of soft and fat and lazy and the cars were kind of junky and they're big, fat, bloated unions and big three auto, you know, kind of no competition, not lean, not mean, you know, not. Didn't have to prove it to anybody. And they were just getting kind of bloated and junky and the build quality was bad and the cars were just goofy, shitty, you know, early 70s cars. And they couldn't deal with smog was starting to come in and they didn't know what to do with smog. They didn't know how to pass smog emissions without just detuning their engines and stuff. And the Japanese just came out, showed up and started to eat their lunch basically and Then they got a foothold and then they basically, by the time you got to the mid-90s, you'd be stupid to buy an American car. You'd want the reliability and the fuel efficiency. I only drove Japanese mini trucks the whole time I was a carpenter because it's like they're bulletproof, they get great mileage, they're cheap and they work. JDM, Japanese domestic market. Well they're there. That's what JDM stands for. Anyway, so I moved my 610 out of here, which was comical I would say. If you're looking to sum up how life works for me, I'd say it'd be this one exchange, right? So I'm told. If you're a member of AAA and don't show any pictures Andrew, because this is not what I'm talking about. You should know the difference between a Z car and a 610 by now. I am told that AAA will move your car on a flatbed like twice a year or something for no charge really. Or whatever you can call them now. It's supposed to be you breaking down somewhere. And this car didn't break down somewhere. It's got no transmission in it, it's parked here. But technically it's a 72 dotson six ten, you know, whatever. And you'll, they'll come pick it up, right? That's the comedy. That's the comedy. I mean that's the fun part. So you're going to get your car flatbedded for free?
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C
Yeah.
- [22:52]
A
And then when the guy shows up, it's explained to me that the first seven miles are free, but the next 34 miles to Malibu are at a premium. So what was my free car move is now 350 bucks, but all right, okay, gotta pay, gotta get the car moved. So the guy's Russian and I've said it many times, but somebody has to tell Russians they're white cuz they are the last crazy white people on the planet. All white people been sort of systematically sort of ringed out of our society. You know, we used to have Vikings and Huns and we had lots of crazy Germanic tribes and shit and lots of crazy ass white people. I mean even all the way to Hitler kind of stuff. But eventually white people just kind of sobered up and got a little sane and now it's all the Muslims that are nuts. But you can't really like find me other than Russia, find me like a white country that's really fucked up and a troublemaker and find me the white Haiti or the white Mexico or whatever it is, and you can't really find it.
- [24:10]
C
No. I think maybe America might be the closest thing to it.
- [24:13]
A
Yeah, but we're not even white anymore.
- [24:15]
C
You're right. Yeah. You're right.
- [24:16]
A
And what's going on over here is like, well, we got the Somalis running daycare stuff, and we got the drug kingpins over there from the Mexican cartels that are in. We're not even. I mean, the white guys are trying to hold down the fort a little bit here, but we've been taken over by a lot of fucking crazy who are basically just doing what they do. They're just doing it here.
- [24:39]
C
Yeah.
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A
All right. Fertile soil. So far as I can tell, Russia's the last of the crazy white people. There is no more crazy white people.
- [24:48]
C
You want to find a good Rabbit hole on YouTube, just Google Russian taxi drivers and watch those guys pull out machetes and just run after people. They are the most insane group of people.
- [24:57]
A
I really mean that. Someone needs to go over there. We need an envoy to explain to them you're white. Knock it the fuck off. It's 2026.
- [25:04]
C
Yeah.
- [25:05]
A
You're done.
- [25:05]
C
Yeah.
- [25:06]
A
And listen, you know, there were times when the Swedes and the Germans and the French, they all had a run at something at some point, but it's over, and it's been over for a long time. Nobody was more fucked up than the Vikings, but that was 800 years ago. They're done. You guys are still going with this shit. All right, so this guy, he's the Russian tow truck driver.
- [25:31]
C
Sure.
- [25:32]
A
And they also don't really mince words, those people, you know? And he shows up and he's, like, short and stocky, and he's already got a chip on his shoulder.
- [25:41]
C
Tracksuit.
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A
And he comes in now, he had to wear the shirt, but as soon as he got home, right into that.
- [25:48]
C
Crushed velvet tracksuit, got that golf hat with the cigar.
- [25:51]
A
For sure. Medallion, no undershirt. So he comes in and he does my least favorite thing. And I don't know why, it drives me nuts, but he, like, comes in the door and he goes, what is the car? It has no transmission. There's no. No, the transmission's dropped. I pulled it out. I put it in a five tap. So there's just a hole. And he goes, is no emergency. No. No emergency brake. It's a race car. It doesn't have. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's a gutted shell of a car. With a roll cage in it and no speedometer. And one big sideways Tack peaks at 5,500 rpm, according to Duvall. And a wheel, a steering wheel that pops off and no signals. No lights. And one seat. Nothing else in the car. Just one seat with a harness. And this is where does emergency brake. I go, there is no emergency break. No break. No, no, no break. I'm like, I can't. This part drives me nuts. I was like, no break, no break, no break. I don't know how many. I frequently stop talking when people do this, and then they get angry. But in your world, this is never gonna end.
- [27:09]
C
Yeah.
- [27:10]
A
We'll just keep going in perpetuity. You'll keep asking me the same fucking question over and over again. No transmission. No. No transmission. No. I can't put it in gear because. Yes. No, there is no. I don't know. We have words. I give answers. That's how it works.
- [27:29]
C
Yeah.
- [27:30]
A
So that took a while. But also. Hey, douche, just fucking load it up. Use your stupid tie downs. You're gonna use anyway and tow it.
- [27:38]
C
Yeah.
- [27:39]
A
So I don't know anybody.
- [27:40]
C
I don't understand why people care so much about their jobs.
- [27:43]
A
Sometimes I just.
- [27:44]
C
Look, I remember getting scolded once by a who ran like one of those bottle. Like, she sold a water. At a water bottle store in the Mall of America in Minneapolis. She yelled. I was like, why do you care? You manage this place, you make $17 an hour. Who gives a shit? Stop.
- [27:59]
A
Nobody.
- [27:59]
C
Why do you care?
- [28:00]
A
People say all the time, like, it's the only power they have or something. I guess. I don't know. I tell people this all the time. I used to teach comedy traffic school. If somebody showed up more than 15 minutes later, I was supposed to send them home. I've never sent anyone home. And I have people show up hours late.
- [28:16]
C
Yeah.
- [28:16]
A
And they'd come in the door, oh, I'm sorry. I thought it was the other one at the Woodland Hill. I guess that's a sit down. Sit down. Yeah, I don't. I don't care. Why do I care? I don't care at all. And making you go home and ruining your day doesn't make me feel powerful. Makes you feel like an asshole.
- [28:33]
C
Yeah. I want people like, you know, engaged and in their jobs. But unless it helps me out, then I need you to be as like. There's a dude who just sits on his phone. He hangs at the parking garage outside of my apartment. And technically he's not supposed to let me back in without a badge, right? And every time after I do Jimmy Kimmel's comedy club in Vegas, I walk back home and I walk up to that parking ramp. That dude is staring at his phone through his peripheral. He sees that there's somebody is coming. He reaches over, he grabs the door, he opens it. He never takes his eyes off his phone. And I walk right past him and I go, thank you so much.
- [29:04]
A
I love this apathy.
- [29:06]
C
Yes.
- [29:07]
A
So this guy gets the car on the flatbed and he leaves for Malibu. Now, I already know that there's going to be a possible issue getting the car in the garage because there's a steepish driveway and the street is a little bit steep. And I'm kind of doing the math on is he going to be able to back this flatbed up with this angle of the street and then the angle of the driveway and back it up and just lower the car into the garage? Because if he drops it in the street, I can't get it into the garage. It's too steep. It would take. It's a hard car. Race cars don't like rolling that well on their own. I would say it would take four to five guys to push that thing up that driveway. It's steep, and the car's a couple thousand pounds, and it's five or six guys who aren't there. Not going to happen. So the guy pulls up in front of the house. I go down there. He's got the flatbed parked in front, and I go, can you back it up? Go up the street, like, back it down and turn it and put it so I can put it in the garage. And this is not going to work. It's too steep. I go, well, can we try it? It's not. It's not. It's too steep. It cannot, cannot lower. The thing has like some skis on. The bump stops on something on the bed.
- [30:43]
C
Oh, sure.
- [30:44]
A
And I'm like, can you just go up the hill and, like, try to back it down? And I'm standing there doing the thing. I got the. But it's four feet from my head. I'm fucking having a seizure. And I'm trying to, like, wave. Crank it, crank it around. It's not going to work, you know. I go, okay, but if you leave it in the street, it's gonna stay in the street. Oh, by the way, it doesn't have a brake or any. If it stays in the street, I'll have to chalk the tires. If something happens to those chalks, that thing's Rolling down to pch. And I really don't know how I'm getting this thing into the garage because I don't have five guys and I don't have a winch. And I'm already, I'm already starting to think, I'm starting to think about a come along. Come alongs work pretty good. You ever use a come along?
- [31:33]
C
I haven't no come along.
- [31:37]
A
I used one to put my house when my walls, house from 1923 were all spanned out. I'll tell you what you could do with a come along. If you had a four wheeler atv, get off the road and get stuck in some mud and die on you. And it was 15ft away, you could go get a come along cable and wrap it around a tree and put the other hook on the bumper of the thing and start cranking it. And it would pull that thing up I don't know how many pounds. But I get a hook on the front tow hook of that car or the rear, I take a come along and I wrap it around something in that garage, which that would be a second problem to deal with. And I could literally hand crank that winch. I could drag that thing up the driveway to the point where maybe I could get over the Mason Dixon line and push it in or something. But I don't have it come along. And that thing's in the street, right? So yeah. So the guy goes, it's not going to work. And I make him try. And it's true. Those skids are like hitting and it's like, I can't. So I go, shit, let's see. How am I going to get this thing into this garage? And he goes, I can pull it. I'll pull it up the street, up the hill and I'll drop you off up the hill. And I go, okay. I could get a coasting run out.
- [33:12]
C
Oh shit. This is America's Funniest Home Videos written all over it.
- [33:17]
A
He goes, you, when I drop it off, you have to get in the car and you have to put the brake on because there's no brakes. There's no way to stop it from rolling down. And it's a steep hill.
- [33:26]
C
Oh man.
- [33:27]
A
So I go, go up there. Okay, I go, I go. So bring it up the street. Bring it up the street and get as far to the left as you can once the thing gets lowered down. But before you undo the winch cable, I'll get in the car, which I gotta crawl in through the window of the car. And I'm getting all Bent up. It's the only time it was any pity he showed to me. He's like, you need help? I'm like, I can get in. I mash myself into the car.
- [33:56]
C
Yeah.
- [33:57]
A
And he goes, you gotta put your foot on the brake. Because when I detach the thing, the car's going.
- [34:02]
C
She's going, right?
- [34:03]
A
And I'm like, I've never even. I haven't bled these brakes or driven this car in a long time. Like, I don't even know if the brakes fucking work in this car. But I get in the car and I hit the brake pedal, and it's pretty stiff. So I go, okay. I think. I think the brakes will grab. And I'm up the hill about 100ft, and I go, I can coast it. I can get a run. But I got to get a pretty good run. Because if I don't make it all the way up and over the hump of the steep driveway, if I make it even to the top of the driveway, there's nothing like I'm getting out of the car. It's just going to roll back down the driveway. There's nothing. I could chalk it there, but I still can't push it up myself. So I got to get a run to get in this garage. And I'm like. He's looking at me like I'm fucking nuts. Yeah, right.
- [34:48]
C
Listen to the story. I feel like you're nuts, right?
- [34:51]
A
But what I don't. I can't say in Russian is, I race cars, bitch. I can handle this fucking car. I can handle the car. But we're only getting one shot, you know? So then I go look on the driveway, and I'm trying to figure out the angle. Cause the street curves down and the driveway curves up. And let me tell you something. I have a lot of experience trying to get race cars down driveways and up driveways. And you have to put wood ramps on, because they just scrape. You would not believe how hard it is to get a race car just from a parking lot in a warehouse onto a city street. Because you don't realize the streets turn down. That's why everything goes into the gutter. And you don't realize how low that fiberglass sweep is in front of that race car. And they just drag.
- [35:36]
C
Sure.
- [35:37]
A
So I'm, like, looking at it, and the driveway's cracked, and it's raised up like an inch and a half. And I'm looking at the front air dam of the car, says Datsun dealerships on it. And I'm like, Fuck. When I hit this thing, that air dam's just gonna snap right off. And sometimes you can do a quick release on them or something, but there's no. It's bolted up all the way across. And I'm like, if I get a run at this thing, I'm definitely going to snap the air dam. It's all right. You can find one, you can paint it and put it back on. Put the Datsun dealer decals with kind of a bitch. But it also could bottom out. Just hit hard because the street's coming down and the driveway's going up. And this a low ass car. Now if I hit it with some gusto, I'll probably make in the garage. But I will bust up the front of this car on that driveway. So the guy releases the. No, here's the comedy. The guy goes, I'm going to take pictures of you. I do not want to be sued when you tell me, you know, shit went wrong.
- [36:51]
C
Sure.
- [36:52]
A
So he literally gets his iPad, which is always weird when people take pictures with the iPad. I don't know why. And he gets his iPad. And I'm in the car, like, I'm in the thumbs up, I'm in the picture. And he gets down on one knee, he takes a picture, he goes around the other side of the car. And he's taking pictures because he wants evidence in case I try to sue the company. When I destroy my car right, that he's gonna go, I dropped it off, I took a picture, I left. Whatever happened after that's up to him. So I go, shit, okay, what do I gotta do here? All right, the Cannonball Run plan is out. Is out because of the air dam in the front of the car. And it's gonna scrape. And I don't have any wood ramps to aim for or anything. So he unhooks the winch cable. I'm now just sitting on the hill with the brake on. And I move down the hill and I go out wide and I turn to get it as straight as I possibly can into the driveway. And the front wheels go up into the driveway, and the rear wheels are just sitting in the street. But it's kind of buoyant. It's just sort of in the middle. It's not rolling forward or backward, it's just there. Yeah. And it stops. And then I go, okay. And this guy's just looking at me like he gets back and he's got to go up the hill, turn around and come back down. But he's got a big flatbed so it's going to take him a minute.
- [38:18]
C
Okay.
- [38:19]
A
And I'm just looking at it and I'm like, I don't have a come along. I don't have a winch. I can't drag this thing. And then I was like, I could push it. I got an electric car. Electric cars, while not made for pushing shit, are good for pushing shit because they don't have the internal combustion drag or lag or any of that. It's just instant torque. And you could progressively get. So I go, okay, got the Audi. It's electric. Then I go in the garage and I find one of those gardening knee pads, one of those pieces of foam rubber that's an inch and a half thick for gardening. And I just tape it to the back of the race car and I hang it over the bumper in the back. Like, I can't hit it straight on with the Audi because it's too narrow, the street's too narrow. I'm going to be a little bit of an angle, but I think I can do this. I just pull the Audi up, hit the pad and start ghost riding it up the drive. The wheels are straight. I know the car's just going to track straight. It's got enough room in the garage. And I start pushing it up and it gets about halfway up and there's like a little separation and the pad falls to the ground and the thing coasts back and pushes on my car and I go back out and I chalk the tire. So now I know it's good and I backed my car up and I put the pad back in again and I just drove it into the garage.
- [39:44]
C
Damn.
- [39:45]
A
It didn't have a fucking scratch on it. Wow. The Audi didn't get a scratch on. And the best fucking part is when the evil Russian guy took him so long to get up to the top of the street and turn around. By the time he came down the street, the car was in the garage. Oh, wow. And he was just looking at me as he went down that hill, man.
- [40:02]
C
Did he give you a tip of the cap or anything? No, he did nothing.
- [40:05]
A
No horn honk, no nothing.
- [40:07]
C
He couldn't push it with his vehicle. Like, is that where he kept his axe and 12 gauge? Like, where was. Why couldn't he just use his vehicle to be able to push the vehicle up?
- [40:16]
A
His vehicle was too long to position behind my vehicle.
- [40:21]
C
Oh, I suppose. Yeah, because he'd have the. Yeah, you just have the width of the street right there.
- [40:25]
A
Right.
- [40:25]
C
It's a pretty small street.
- [40:26]
A
Yeah, you don't have the whole street. My car was in a quarter of the street. So he couldn't get his car straight. His is a diesel. Not as good for pushing. Sitting in the bumper, sat up high. Now I had the right car for pushing, except for the damage potential part. Also, no fucking way was he getting near the liability of taking his thing and using it like a ramrod. He'd get fired in a second. If I Everyone is so fucking litigious. They'd go, you dented the bumper. My race car. And then I'd write a letter to AAA and then they'd go, you did what? And then he'd be fired.
- [41:03]
C
Yeah. Well, they should be putting this. I don't know what kind of vehicle you have, whether it be Audi or if it's a Tesla, but they should be putting this in like the sales program. Like, put this in the brochure, like. Yeah, I know everybody wants to be able to get 250 miles on one charge, but did you know that you can push a vintage race car into a garage with one of these things?
- [41:20]
A
Pushed it right in, rolled right in, not a scratch on either car. And then a couple days later, I realized I was taking another race car, was getting picked up in a trailer.
- [41:34]
C
Another Russian.
- [41:35]
A
And now this was less my car guy, but he pulled this trailer in from Vista, California, and he's got a skinny ass trailer and I got a wide ass car. And he backed this thing up and we all pushed it in yesterday. But it was less than a quarter inch of clearance on each side of the rail and inside the thing. And if you do not believe me, I will show you a picture. Hold on. This is the right side of the car and this is the amount of room there is on the right side. And we'll put these pictures up@adamcroll.com or. Well, I think I sent. I axed a few of them out there. This is the right side. I will show you the left side. Lest you think I'm exaggerating because I took a picture of each side. That's the left side.
- [42:35]
C
Yeah.
- [42:35]
A
The car is 1/4 of an inch.
- [42:38]
C
Yeah.
- [42:39]
A
There's no we had to spare on each side.
- [42:43]
C
That's crazy.
- [42:45]
A
It's insane how little room there was to get this car in a stretch. So it's literally like the back of the trailer is 75 inches wide and the car is 74 and three quarter. And so when you hit it, you have to be dead nuts on.
- [43:02]
C
Yeah, perfect.
- [43:03]
A
Dead nuts on. And he backed the trailer in and we had the car backed out, but the rear end was over a little bit, and we weren't gonna get a perfectly straight run at it.
- [43:14]
C
Sure.
- [43:14]
A
Right. Yep. And so now we had a conundrum where we're gonna back the car out and keep maneuvering it until we got a completely straight shot at the opening of the trailer. And how long would that take? And that'd be a lot of pushing of a car trying to get it straight. So where everyone was sitting there, my guys here and Les trying to figure out we got to move the back of the car over, like, three inches. But that's going to take a lot of pushing. So I said, les, give me your floor jack mechanics, Kind of pump with your hand mechanics. Floor.
- [43:55]
C
Yeah.
- [43:56]
A
Okay. I said, this car has a internal jack system. So real race cars, modern race cars, Semi modern race cars, they didn't jack the car up. They hit it with an air hose, and the car popped up.
- [44:13]
C
Oh, really?
- [44:14]
A
Yeah.
- [44:14]
C
Oh, wow. Okay.
- [44:15]
A
It's got air jacks.
- [44:17]
C
Okay.
- [44:17]
A
And most le mans cars have air jacks, and even Pete Brock may have pioneered that technology on a Daytona. So the cars come into pit. There's a little nipple on the side of the car, and you take your compressor air hose, and you pop it, and the car pops up, and you change the tires, and you do whatever. Because the cars are so low that they couldn't get an old floor jack under it. And it was just so much faster just to pop them up using the air jacks. And there's one in the back and two in the front, because you don't need four. You need just get it off the ground. And the front's where the engine is. So they'll put the two in front, they'll put the one in the back. And so I said, give me that floor jack. And I said, I'll slide it under the car and put it where the air jack is, because I know that's solid. And I jacked the back of the car up. And I said, just tell me when I could only see one side. When both tires have daylight under them. All right, got it an inch off the ground. I said, I took the jack with the wheels on. I turned it the right direction. I said, everyone, start pushing. We just pushed the car over 3 inches and lined it up. And then I just lowered it down, slid it back out, and we just slid it right back in the car, right back into the trailer. But what I'm saying is, if you don't problem solve, you don't have that.
- [45:43]
C
Mind, I'm going to send those pictures to my mom who fucked up my daughter's car this morning by backing into it while she was pulling out of the driveway. And they sent me photos and they're like, I know the car's seven and a half weeks old, but this is what happened to it today. And I was like, you've got to be kidding me.
- [45:56]
A
Really?
- [45:57]
C
Yes. Driving me. So when I see those pictures, especially on a day like today, it is chapping my ass.
- [46:02]
A
There's literally the, the gate, which acts as a ramp on the trailer has two high aluminum ribs on each side. And it's like this car has to fit between those ribs and each side has less than a quarter inch. But we completely threaded it up.
- [46:20]
C
Yeah. You could not get a gardener's knee pad in between the wall of that trailer and that vehicle. You were right, man. Yeah, that is close. Wow.
- [46:31]
A
Oh, the other thing that was funny, I was out with Andrew and we were taping, doing one of our Malibu fire vlogs. And I love walking around. I walk around construction sites where it's like half built. And I love seeing all the fuck ups because I grew up. That's how I, I was on those job sites all the time where, you know, the problem is built in everything has to be put into the slab before they pour the slab. And then at some point they pour it and you like, you'll just walk in. I can walk in and I'll see where the vent for the kitchen island that was coming up through the wall is right up against the four by that the hold down was supposed to be. And you can see where they had to sawzall the four by, move it over, like, whatever. It's just shit happens, right? And not a lot of English is spoken. So anyway, I walked into this guy's who's building this house into his house, and he's got a big slab and it's up on top of the mountain. It's one of the few houses being built. And I looked up and you can see, oh, this is where they want the view. It's the views out the back. And I could see there's a big header, a big parallel. And I looked down, I saw the J bolts that they put in the slab to hold the walls down. Went all the way through where the view was. I mean, there's gonna be a big French door there. Somebody put the J bolts in the wrong. That's. That's what I'm saying. So I'll play, I'll play it for you. Sorry. Somebody put J bolts here where they shouldn't have. See, this is. This is every construction site ever. Somebody put J bolts all around the perimeter, looking at a plan. Except for this is gonna be big French doors. I call freedom doors. That's right, because I'm a patriot. So at some point, someone's going to have to get a carbon blade and a wheel and a right angle grinder and nip these right off. Now, listen, I brought my own Sawzall, too, okay? Because I knew UF Ops wouldn't have a charged bag. You can pause it for a second. I'm just going to nip. You cannot build a house without this. Now, you have to pay for the J bolts, and then you have to pay for someone to set them. And then you have to pay for someone to come clip off the 4 inches of threaded J bolt that's sticking out in the slab, because that's where the sill of the big French doors is going to go. I am telling you, you cannot build a house without some of this. But if you can keep it to 3 or 4%. Yeah, you'll make it?
- [49:13]
C
Sure.
- [49:14]
A
Louisiana's at, like, 85%. This right? Like, every idea fucks up, it's a bad idea. We're gonna give out clean needles to the homeless. It's gonna work out perfectly. We're gonna put heroin in vending machines. You know what I mean? Like, every one of our ideas turns to shit. If you run a Keebler factory, X amount of cookies are gonna come down the conveyor belt broken. And that's part of it. But when it gets to 90% broken, you're fucked. And these jobs, it always exists, but These jobs are 4% sure. Louisiana's at, like, 85%.
- [49:47]
C
Yeah.
- [49:47]
A
All right. Sorry. I'll play you this clip. Anyway. This wouldn't have a charged battery, so I'm just gonna nip this right in the bud. I punctuate it by smacking it, knocking it off. Because I want to improve my point. You're doing the next two. Notice I went down as far as I could go. Got even a little into the concrete there. I think, you know, we could hit this with a stone. But I. I think. I think the sill will lay down. Yeah. There. There were multiple openings. Multiple openings where they had J bolts sticking out from the ground. And J bolts, you just sink them into the wet concrete and they stick out, like, four inches. And you bolt the bottom plate. If there's a wall there.
- [50:41]
C
Sure.
- [50:42]
A
But there was no wall God, I.
- [50:44]
C
Pray to God that somebody shows up here one day and just goes, who's the son of a bitch who took the J bolts out of the goddamn concrete? They were there for a reason.
- [50:51]
A
By the way, I never consulted the guy. That guy's the architect. I just walked in, I looked up, I saw the header, I looked at the view, I looked at him and I said, I'll take him out. He didn't go, no, no, no. We're building a pony wall. You don't get it. We're doing a Dutch door there. He didn't say anything. He just looked at me and went, all right, sure. Yeah. All right, we'll take a quick break. Rudy's got the news. And we'll do that right after this. Simply safe. Well, if you're like me, you like staying prepared for anything. And that's what I hate about most security systems. They wait for someone to break in to do something. Well, it's too late by then. Simplisafe's active guard outdoor protection AI and live monitoring agents catch people lurking around your property. And it's super affordable. With monitoring plans starting at only a dollar a day, we know that the government isn't going to protect us, so I suggest you start doing it yourself. And that's where Simplisafe comes in. I use Simplisafe and everyone here does as well, and we always have. They've been a great sponsor over the years. Please support our great sponsors with Simplisafe and start protecting yourself. Am I right, Dawson? You can get 50% off your new Simplisafe system with professional monitoring and your first month free@simplisafe.com Adam Again, that's 50% off your new Simplisafe system with professional monitoring and your first month free@simplisafe.com Adam. There's no safe like Simplisafe. Oh, Riley Auto Parts. They're in the business of keeping your car on the road. They offer friendly, helpful service and all the knowledge you need. If I can't figure out what's wrong with my car, I always hit up my good friends at O'Reilly first. I mean, I'm not working on my electric car, but I do work on my race cars a lot. They have thousands of parts in stock and can test your battery for free. Need wipers, a brake light or quick fix? They have you covered. They'll find that part. Everyone who works there is knowledgeable and friendly. The professional parts people, O'Reilly, are your one stop shop for DIY auto stuff in store or online. It's O'Reilly, right? Dawson, stop by O'Reilly Auto Parts a day or visit us@o'reillyauto.com Adam that's o'reillyauto.com Adam. It's time to check Adam's voicemail. Ace. We need the National Immigrations and Customs Enforcement. Who wants to abolish. Nice. Also WD40 deodorant. I'm in. Get it on. You can leave us a message at 888-634-1744. Well, Rudy's got some news. I will say I went in the other room and I found a little digital clock that we used to take with us on the road. But then all the clubs got clocks. But I forgot to talk to Rudy about our second club so far that had no clock, which is a weird thing because for the second time I said, okay, the thing about a clock on stage is if you can basically time out and measure your one hour set or your 20 minute set, then you can kind of keep track of your own time, essentially.
- [54:48]
C
Sure.
- [54:49]
A
But if you're doing a podcast format where you're talking and interviewing the guest and playing some games and doing some stuff like that, as we did with Michael Yeoh, I really don't know what the time is at that point. You know what I'm saying? So I really did need a clock. But the answer is the clock broke.
- [55:10]
C
Broke, of course.
- [55:11]
A
Which also do you notice when things I was talking to you about it are like a little bit off with a club or a person?
- [55:22]
C
Sure.
- [55:22]
A
There's just a little, there's things that are just like a little. A little off. Yeah. And so they had a clock once upon a time. There was a clock.
- [55:35]
C
Yes.
- [55:35]
A
And now it's broken land far away and there's nothing else we can do about it.
- [55:39]
C
They made one and that was it.
- [55:41]
A
And it's the weirdest human thing. Maybe it's not weird, but it drives me nuts. It's like the second the clock broke, somebody should have been on Amazon ordering a clock for next day delivery not several months ago with the clock. But I'll tell you what it does for me. For me, it's like it's what I complain about all the time, which is like it behooves you and you want you own a club. All the talk you do with a club is the opener's going to do eight minutes and then you do 15 but don't do 17 and then can the headliner keep it under an hour? Because we want to Turn the room about. It's literally nonstop clock. That's all it is, is clock talk. It's clock talk.
- [56:34]
C
Yeah.
- [56:34]
A
It's not. Look, when you go out to lunch, you don't need the clock. You just sit with a friend and you enjoy lunch and you're done when you're done. It's not like somebody said at the restaurant, the first person's gonna come in here and have a sandwich that's gonna be eight minutes. And then we're gonna rotate you out of the booth and then we're gonna bring another guy in, he's gonna do 16 minute sandwich. And then you're gonna come in with your dip, your French dip. That can't be more. And have no clock. And that'd be an insane proclamation. But that's what the clubs do, that don't have the clock.
- [57:07]
C
Yeah.
- [57:08]
A
And I found myself sitting up there between you and Michael Yeoh, who both had wristwatches on. And I was trying to catch glimpses of what it said on your watch because I didn't want to keep stopping and going, what time is it? And I probably should have talked to you and Michael, but I should have said, just hold the fucking thing up every once in a while so I can get a look at it. Cause I was trying to read it upside down. But yeah, the clock broke.
- [57:32]
C
Yeah. So I was talking about this situation with somebody and their response to me was, well, hey, most comics get a light, they don't use a clock. And I said, okay, but I don't use sugar in my coffee. But I keep some at my house just in case the people who do use sugar in their coffee show up. So why can't we treat the clock like the sugar in the coffee, which is just keep one at the club. And you know, when Rob Schneider shows up, you don't need to use it. But when Adam Carolla rolls in, hey man, get that thing up there.
- [58:04]
A
Well, if you are doing. First off, I need it because I mix my act up so much that I don't really know exactly how long I've been wherever I've been. I can guess when I get to about an hour, but I'm kind of guessing. Cause there's just a lot of mix and matching going on. But also, if you're going to have live podcasts and you are going to have live podcasts, then no, nobody, you know, it's kind of a thing now for clubs to do live podcasts or different formats of whatever.
- [58:33]
C
Yeah.
- [58:34]
A
Improv shows or crowd work shows or something. Then no, nobody. Then, no, nobody knows what time it is.
- [58:40]
C
Yeah.
- [58:41]
A
So go ahead and invest the $12.
- [58:42]
C
Yeah. Even the. The Planet Fitness has figured out that you do red. Red light, green light. Like the old boxing gyms. Hey, man, you get 60 seconds with the green light. We give you 30 with the red. Anything that could possibly help somebody keep. But there's so many clubs that don't. And then in the exact opposite direction, you got clubs, like, off the hook where it's all clock.
- [59:01]
A
Yeah, that clock is.
- [59:03]
C
That is in your face. It's right there. You know exactly how much time you get. Big countdown.
- [59:07]
A
Big countdown. Except for they forget to start it. To start it when I go out on stage. So I keep looking up at the stupid blank clock that they haven't started yet. Yeah, I was. I had a weird deep cut flashback driving home yesterday. I was listening to. There's a great SiriusXM channel, I think it's called Escape. It's like 149 or something. It's the kind of weird Muzak version of all the songs in history. And it's just something. It's kind of out of moon. Well, that's it. You know, you can. You can play a few seconds of it. I don't know why I jumped in so fast, but we can. We'll play it. This is Georgie Girl. Georgie Girl. Great pop song, by the way. You guys know this one? Dawson Acid. That is too young.
- [60:06]
C
No, I don't think I know it. No, I'm sure if I heard the actual version of it, I'd go, I know it. Yeah. Yeah. Because we play this game in the car a lot.
- [60:15]
A
Yeah, there's another Georgie deep inside. It's probably one of these. What was that? That's what they say, I think. Sure. It's just kind of an early liberation song. Yeah, it's like about. Hey, young girl, there's more to you than just being a. Being a living in the kitchen. You got dreams and goals. Like it was a. That girl kind of moment it. But you listen to it. So this is. This is the Baja Marinda band. Oh, wow.
- [60:46]
C
Look at these guys.
- [60:47]
A
They're probably all Jews.
- [60:48]
C
Yeah.
- [60:48]
A
But they. They told them, here's a cigar and put a. Put a sombrero on the new Georgie Girl. Now this. All right, you can pause for a second. This is one of those bands that got screwed because this band is called the Seekers, the actual band from Georgie Girl. But I bet you everyone thinks it's a Mamas and the Papas song or something. It Gets tagged onto another band and the Seekers for all. I think the Seekers were one hit wonder. I think all they had was Georgie Girl and people think it was Mama Cass. And I don't know, you can find some of the actual Georgie Girl. But I had this weird flashback which was the Baja Marinda band was formed by a friend of Herb Alpert who was having so much success with the Tijuana Brass. Because Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass had tons of chart topping hits in like the mid-60s and I think 1966. I think that Herb is friends with this guy named Julius Wector who played the vibes or the marimbas. He played the xylophone or whatever. If it's metal, it's xylophone. If it's wood, it's like the vibes or whatever. I don't know what it is, but he played that. So I think what he did is he just got a bunch of dudes from like the Wrecking Crew and he said, let's, you know, we're having so much success with the Tijuana Brass, why don't we just start a Baja Marimba ban, which is like, again, a bunch of session Jews. But we'll make them up like they're banditos. And you guys will fucking tour and sell records too, I'm guessing. Do we have the original? And were the Seekers. I don't think they. I think this is it for them. 1966. And like I said, I think they got lumped in. I think a lot of people just thought, oh, it's the Mamas and Papa song or something.
- [63:10]
C
Somebody brought this up the other day about a lot of those bands during that time. They just sort of had all this. They all sounded the same. I was like, if you listen to the nonsense that is going on nowadays, it is so bad.
- [63:22]
A
Yes.
- [63:22]
C
Oh, it's terrible.
- [63:24]
A
So here it is and.
- [63:31]
C
Sounds like a mushroom trip.
- [63:43]
A
Inside you. Nominated for an Oscar. What for Best original song.
- [63:55]
C
What movie was it in? Another movie called Georgia Boys, Window Shopping.
- [63:59]
A
And Never Stopping for best original song. And what movie, Andrew.
- [64:11]
C
They should do a side by side of this lovely lady next to Cardi B from Las Vegas this weekend and how they dress on stage nowadays singing about her.
- [64:32]
A
By the way, it's not a live version of this song.
- [64:35]
C
No, you're right, totally. Yeah.
- [64:37]
A
But they took footage of like Monterey Pop or something and they put. They put it over this. Yeah, the name of the movie, Georgie Girl.
- [64:45]
C
Yeah, look at that. That's right.
- [64:47]
A
There was a movie I love the guy playing the stand up bass. Oh, yeah. This is what music used to be. Now we got Bad Bunny dancing with Street Horse.
- [65:01]
C
Yeah. This could have been a Super bowl halftime show at Super Bowl 4, but.
- [65:04]
A
Instead start pushing now for the. The Seekers.
- [65:08]
C
Yes.
- [65:09]
A
If any of them are still alive.
- [65:10]
C
You know what? We'll even take an AFC NFC Championship game halftime. It doesn't have to, but just something. Anything other than what we had this past year.
- [65:19]
A
So I realized that I had this crazy flashback when I started thinking about the Baja Marimba Band and Jules Wector and a Julius actor. And at some point. So I didn't have. I didn't. Do we. You may. We may know this from listening to the show, but we didn't have a lot of high water marks in my house. You know what I mean? So it's like if something cool came along, it seared into my memory. Yeah. My kids, you know, they're either at the fucking Daytona 500 or at the super bowl or in Maui. I don't think there's enough room on their hard drive to mark all the things. But believe me, I remember that time we went to the Sizzler in Sherman Oaks because that was a big deal. You know what I mean?
- [66:16]
C
Core memory.
- [66:17]
A
Yeah, a lot of core memories of stuff that my kids would not. What they would look at as discarded memories looked at me as like a big deal. And one day I was with my dad and my sister and it must have been about eight or nine or something. And I said. My dad said, well, it was like a Saturday. And he said, we're going to Julius Wector's. The guy had an estate, you know, we grew up in literally one bedroom, one bath. I've never lived in a house with two bathrooms. And no one in my family had. My grandparents, one bathroom. My mom, my dad. Everything's one bathroom.
- [67:01]
C
A can of popcorn bucket. That's a half a bathroom. Right.
- [67:03]
A
That was in the garage. That house did have two bathrooms, actually, just. But we were going up to this guy's like, estate and he was up in like Encino or something. And we came pulling into that place and it's like gates in a driveway and a big, you know, Spanish type house from the 20s, you know, real Los Angeles stuff. And had a music room with the vibes on it, in it and everything, and people by the pool and it was just stuff. Like as much free soda as you wanted. You know what I mean? Like, you could have three root beers. Like, I was like Forrest Gump. Yeah, you Know, like, oh, my God, free soda. Yeah, free soda. You know, like, how rich do you have to be to just have a tub filled with soda? And also at my family or anyone I knew, like, yeah, there might be a. So a Shasta somewhere. But if you think you're going for your second Shasta, you're gonna get yelled at. Like, if you start getting near that cooler and someone already saw you, took one out an hour and a half earlier, and you think you're. You think you're fucking circling back to that, you're gonna get. Excuse you. Excuse you. Like, you're gonna get yelled at by somebody for two sodas. You know, he's like, have all the fucking soda you want. I don't care. And he's real Hollywood 70s kind of thing. And my dad played the trumpet. So my dad was pitching this. Like, this guy's got the Baja Marimba Band, and he needs some trumpeters. He needs the whole brass section. And these guys tour the world and. And make money and play live. And what I didn't really know is my dad was a shitty trumpet player. I just thought he was a trumpet player. And this Julius guy, who's rich, he needs a trumpet player. So maybe my dad could hook on with this band, and it'd be win, win, because it would be money and he'd be on the road all the time. So this would be awesome. And we could get some stuff. And so I was just sitting there, sitting in traffic yesterday, listening to the Baja Marimba band play Georgie Girl. And I was just having this weird flashback of being in this guy's backyard and going like, everything was a marvel. Like, look at the house with the second story. It's just another house on top of the house with another house. And the sodas.
- [69:35]
C
They got more freestyles.
- [69:36]
A
There's more Showtis. And it was like, oh. And we went to the music room and stuff. And so I was sort of like, oh, man. Man, you play the trumpet? And he needs a trumpet guy. This is gonna be awesome. Because you're a kid, you can never really do math. But I wasn't doing this. My dad wasn't a good trumpet player. And this guy's best friend was Herb Alpert. Herb Albert was his best fucking friend.
- [70:05]
C
Yeah.
- [70:06]
A
So that's like, if Michael Jordan's your best friend and this guy's trying out for your basketball team and he's a short, squatty Jew with no vertical. Like, I think you of all people, Julius Wechter, probably knew bad trumpet playing from good trumpet Playing as good as anybody on the fucking planet. Right? And so when my dad hit a few scales and he's used to sit next to her and the fucking wall of sound with Phil Spector and the Wrecking Crew, I bet he probably sussed Pop scroll out pretty fast. But at the time, I just thought. I just went home, was like, stood by the phone.
- [70:45]
C
Yeah.
- [70:46]
A
Waiting for that phone to ring.
- [70:47]
C
He heard that first note from your dad, and he looked over at you and was like, you know what? Take as many free sodas as you want. You need them. You're gonna need them.
- [70:53]
A
Yeah. This is gonna have to last you well into college.
- [70:57]
C
So did I miss the part of the story where. How did this meeting get set up?
- [71:01]
A
You know, my dad played the trumpet. He probably had a few friends who played who were like, you know, doctors and stuff, but played on the side.
- [71:17]
C
Oh, sure.
- [71:17]
A
And they would jam a little bit. And he probably knew Dr. Gold who played the standup bass or something. It's not that big a community. And somebody probably said, you know, Julius is reforming and looking for guys. He's looking for some trumpet players who. Why don't you. I could call him and maybe just swing by, you know, and then, I don't know. Julius Wechner probably said, I'm having some people over on Saturday. Just tell them to come by or something like that. I mean, it was probably people just kind of being nice. I can't tell you all the people I've had meetings with about some book or something that they're never gonna write or whatever. They weren't any good at whatever. But come by. We'll have a chat. And I don't. I never really got the full lowdown. I don't know if my dad auditioned for him. I don't think he could have sent him a tape, because that would have mean he'd have a tape report. I don't know what he would have done. I can't remember if he brought his trumpet or he just picked one up in the music room or something.
- [72:25]
C
Dad's outside, like Cusack with a box.
- [72:28]
A
Yeah. Holding the boom box. Well, Julius, I made the right decision, I would say. But that was as close as we ever got to starting Julius Wechter. I think I looked him up. He died young. He. He was friends and even partners, I think, with Herb Alpert. It's funny, because the whole Tijuana Brass and Baja Mirinda Band were made up of dudes who weren't Mexican or Spanish or anything. They were just kind of the Chipotle of bands, you know what I mean? But they all. I don't know what wector. It doesn't feel very Spanish to me. But I don't know what kind of. What kind of name that is. He died in 99. He was a musician. He was a composer. He played marimba and vibraphone. He played percussion instruments. He composed the song Spanish Flea, which was a hit for Herb Alpert, later of the Baja Marimba band. And he was born in Chicago. Yeah. He's not. Not Mexican at all.
- [73:46]
C
Yeah.
- [73:47]
A
And neither is anyone in his band.
- [73:49]
C
Yeah.
- [73:50]
A
And yeah, he, I guess, was reforming the band or something in the early 70s. And that's where dad got his trumpet chance.
- [74:00]
C
Much like they took, like, you know, the Italian dudes and made them play Native Americans. This guy was like, whatever, you know, man, here, throw a, you know, throw a handkerchief around your neck and grow your mustache out. Yeah. Get the bandolier belt of bullets. We'll throw you up there.
- [74:15]
A
And I think they would call that cultural appropriation. Now a little bit. Play the Baja marimba version of Georgie Girl, though. It was actually. I was listening to it and I was like, oh, these guys are good. Like, it was good. Like, these guys are good session musicians. So they can just go have fun with this stuff. And everyone makes fun of this music. But it's really pretty good.
- [74:38]
C
Absolutely. That one guy on the right there has got the Karen Bass hat with the. We know who he's voting for.
- [74:59]
A
This time when guys could drink and slap waitresses in the ass. And they go out and have a good time.
- [75:05]
C
Absolutely. Yeah. I missed the. The Fu Manchu. Look at that. There's two of those dudes in there with a good. Oh, actually there's a third. You see the guy up in the top? He's kind of got a. Like a altered Fu Manchu. We should bring more of those back.
- [75:22]
A
The only guy who's clean shaven looks like my dad looked when he was clean shaven. So maybe they're like, listen, good news and bad news. Jim, we're not gonna hire you. You're gonna rot in North Hollywood. But there's a dude who looks like you, except for he's really good on the trumpet.
- [75:40]
C
Yes.
- [75:40]
A
So if it's any consolation, if you squint.
- [75:43]
C
Yes. So the next time you're at the bar and somebody goes, hey, don't you please, man, that's me. It's totally me. Yeah. Me and the guys, you know, the Fu Man Chews and the mustaches. A lot of Jews, but Hey, we're making it happen.
- [75:53]
A
All right. Here's the horns. Oh, yeah. No, nah, nah. They needed guys with chops.
- [76:08]
C
Your dad could pack up the trumpets for these guys, but not. He could go on the road as the roadie.
- [76:15]
A
There's the vibes.
- [76:17]
C
Yeah, man.
- [76:17]
A
Ow.
- [76:19]
C
To Buy guy. Now everybody's just got a goddamn laptop in front of him.
- [76:22]
A
Everyone could play an instrument back there.
- [76:24]
C
Absolutely. Yeah.
- [76:28]
A
Oh, crescendo. Oh, yeah. Pops would be a BET flugel. He'd probably be blowing his spit valve out about now. What was that? Stop the recording. Oh, big ending. Yeah.
- [76:52]
C
Oh, this is on the drive back to Vegas tomorrow.
- [76:55]
A
This is good, right?
- [76:56]
C
This is good stuff. I like that.
- [77:00]
A
Very layered.
- [77:01]
C
Yeah.
- [77:02]
A
So did. Did they have to the. What was the Baja Marimba band's biggest hit? I guess would be the question. It was. I don't think it was Georgie girl, but anyway. Homes.com. there you go. Something might say homes.com is the best home shopping site. It may be homes.com's super comprehensive and transparent agent directory. It may be that homes.com is the only site that always directly connects you with the listing agent who knows the home the best. Perhaps it's because homes.com has the most in depth neighborhood content of any home shopping site that's extensively researched to highlight the personality of each neighborhood. Homes.com goes above and beyond to bring home shoppers the in depth info they need to find the right home. Homes.com. that's homes.com. we've done your homework.
- [78:06]
B
We're celebrating Black History Month with our free curated collection of black entertainment.
- [78:11]
A
No ifs, ands or buts abouts.
- [78:13]
B
Catch award winning films like Dreamgirls, Monster's Ball and Selma.
- [78:17]
A
We must make a massive demonstration.
- [78:19]
B
Iconic hits like School Days and Set it Off. Plus full seasons of shows like Tyler Perry's Sistas and Power.
- [78:27]
A
I got you it.
- [78:28]
B
Star studded, brilliant black entertainment. And it's all free. It's getting good this month and always on Pluto tv Stream now pay never.
- [78:37]
A
All right. You can hear the news and yeah.
- [78:39]
C
Those boys are looking it up. All right, so you may have seen this already, but boy, can you hear the gears grind. AOC spits out word salad when she's asked about China. Refuses to say if the US should defend Taiwan. This was part of the panel at the Munich Security Conference on Friday. And boy. Boy, oh boy. If you have not seen this video yet, it is.
- [78:59]
A
Yeah, I like to watch it side by side with her calling Elon Musk dumb. Yeah, it's Great.
- [79:06]
C
The US Actually commit US troops to defend Taiwan if China were to move. You know, I think that this is such a, you know, I think that this is a. This is, of course, a very long.
- [79:28]
A
Standing policy of the United States.
- [79:33]
C
And I think what we are hoping for is that we want to make sure that we never get to that point. And we want to make sure that we are moving in all of our.
- [79:43]
A
Economic research and our global positions to.
- [79:47]
C
Avoid any such confrontation and for that question to even arise.
- [79:54]
A
Now, here's our big problem right now. Whoever's asking the question goes, I don't know what that was, but anyway, I asked you if we should commit to moving troops to defend Taiwan. So can we get an answer to that question? They go, oh, okay. And then they move on and they let these fucking imbeciles off the hook.
- [80:14]
C
Yeah, no follow ups.
- [80:16]
A
Yeah, yeah, listen, She's a dope, everybody. But she has a lot of what I like to call personal momentum. And dumb people respond to other people with personal momentum. It's essentially DJ Khaled. DJ Khaled is a talentless lump of shit who can't play an instrument or do anything. But I talked to a lot of people, like, I like that dude. You like that dude because he's a talentless sack of shit who has momentum. And you respond to the momentum. And people respond to momentum, but only dumb people, smart people, see it. And I see DJ Khaled debox Bob Marley's guitar and bang on it like a chimp trying to fuck a football. And I go, this guy's talentless piece of shit. And then I see Julius and the Baja Marimba band, and I go, oh, these fucking guys know how to play instruments. And there's a difference. To me, she doesn't know what the fuck she's talking about because she's a dope, but she has personal momentum. Listen, everybody, three years ago I said on Sean Hannity's show, if she was 60 and fat and from Minnesota, no one would listen to a fucking word she ever had to say again. And everyone looked at me and went, what's that supposed to mean? You wanna listen to the tape? You tell me what it means. It means exactly what I said I would. Then it caused a kerfuffle and I got interviewed after it. And people go, what you mean by that? Okay, let's break it down. She was fat and middle aged and from Minnesota. No one would listen to a word because she's a dope.
- [81:54]
C
Yeah.
- [81:54]
A
And everyone's like, like, so what do you mean? Yeah, I'm like, I don't know. Is there any more. Is there any more evidence that we shouldn't listen to this person because she's a fucking dope, but it's not her fault. It's the people who listen to her fault.
- [82:08]
C
Yeah, yeah. When you're talking about other people that nobody would listen to her. No, you're right. The other fat 60 year old chicks from Minnesota definitely would listen to her. Right, right. Yeah. The DJ Khaled thing. That dude definitely been on a couple of super bowl halftime shows. Aforementioned, but definitely not the Baja Marinda band. It's gonna take me a second to get it right.
- [82:27]
A
I think it's marimba, but you want to say Marinda.
- [82:31]
C
Yeah, right.
- [82:32]
A
Like you're a retarded guy trying to say Melinda. Marinda is a city in the Bay Area, by the way. Okay. Coming in the Back Door was the Baja marimba biggest hit. Wow. Coming in the back door. Oh, that fucking did another shot at tequila when that guy came up with that idea. And that's what they tell the chicks on the road. You know what I'm famous for? Do we have that in that song?
- [82:57]
C
Somebody make sure that that's on the playlist next time my girlfriend's in town. Coming in the playlist, that's subliminal messaging right there.
- [83:06]
A
And the beauty of them is there's no lyrics. So you could have called this flowers just because you called it Coming in the the back Door. It's not like you could play this for. If you played this for 10,000 people and went name this, they wouldn't go Coming in the back door. Oh, oh. Or how about hitting her in the hiney? Is that a. This is. This sounds like a. This is my new favorite band. Yeah, they're great.
- [83:45]
C
Yeah, Listen, listen. I haven't had a lot of anal, but this would be the music that I. This is the soundtrack to it, for sure. Yep.
- [83:52]
A
Oh, they have. They have singers.
- [83:55]
C
Well, it's more of an ethereal sound. It's an ambiance. It's not a. It's not like somebody actually spitting bars over the top of this.
- [84:14]
A
This is where they needed Jim Carola to step up.
- [84:17]
C
Oh, man. This is us walking through the French Quarter and in New Orleans pounding them back. A lot of rage, man. I mean, listen to this. This has like a jazzy sort of New Orleans vibe to it. Then we get to the. You're right. This could have been flower fields or whatever you called it.
- [84:36]
A
Flowers just because.
- [84:36]
C
Flowers just because. Coming on flowers jizzing on your roses, something, anything.
- [84:45]
A
I could see a scenario where, like they said to my dad, you know, the guy looks just like you in the band. He had a heart attack and he's in the hospital. And we got a gig. We got a big gig at Madison Square Garden coming up this Saturday. Now we're gonna need you out there. My dad was like, okay. And right before he walked on stage, Julius walked up to him and goes, I'm gonna need the mouthpiece of that trumpet. He went, what? Yeah, I can't play without a mouth. Yeah, give me the mouth. Give me that. Just get up there.
- [85:12]
C
This is like Paul McCartney going to the sound guys and going, whatever you do, don't put Linda in the main mix, okay?
- [85:17]
A
That's right.
- [85:17]
C
Don't put Jim in the main mix, all right, we gotta. There's gonna be 18,000 out there.
- [85:22]
A
That's right. Pot him down. All right. That's their hit. Did they. Man, did they have another. Anything else that made the charts? Look, you could do a lot worse than the Baja Marimba band.
- [85:39]
C
Yeah, you could. Yeah. And I heard it the other day.
- [85:41]
A
They did a cover of Ghost Riders in the Sky. Oh, wow. Which was their second biggest hit. Wow, wow, wow. Somebody doing the whip. There's a whip in that song. Isn't there a whip in that song?
- [85:54]
C
I think it was your dad actually played the whip. Played the whip.
- [85:58]
A
Funny. All right, give me another story and then we'll do Ghost Riders.
- [86:01]
C
Okay, here we go. Outrage after Florida Teachers Union says children protesting ICE is now required. The latest efforts to push a far left agenda are unfolding in anti ICE rhetoric and demonstrations taking place at schools across the country spurred by teachers and administrators.
- [86:16]
A
Yeah, so anyway, first, fuck everyone who got on me for calling teachers cowards and pussies and liars and cheats and all that shit. All during COVID teachers turn out to be the fucking worst. Look, it's a group, it attracts a group, it attracts a type of. You know. Okay, let me say. If you said, look, Adam, there's one of these guys who. And I go, I want you to talk politics with him or just kind of talk life or how to raise a boy or whatever that is. He's a tuna boat captain. I'd go, okay. That mean that guy speak the same language? I'll tell you what, I'll tell you that guy. Fuck. I know how that guy thinks. Cuz he is out in the bering straits with 30 foot swells. I know how that guy thinks. It attracts a Certain kind of guy and I like that guy. This attracts a different kind of person and I don't like that person. And they can't stop. And I've said it a lot, but I just mean there is no such thing as a chick just going, I'm vegan. But you eat whatever you want. At a certain point she's got to start getting involved with your diet. There's no. And this is a whole bunch of fucking vegans. And their job is just teach you about the Civil war and don't bring up your vegan shit. But they can't because they're a bunch of chicks and dudes across their legs tightly. So they're going to let their worldview bleed into your shit. And then the problem is you got a bunch of 12 year olds who believe them and are getting infected by this shit. And then of course, when somebody goes, how about school choice and vouchers? They go, no, we don't want you getting away from our fucking crate training that we're providing and poising your fucking head over here. We don't want you going across the street to the other school that is not run by us by like minded people. And by the way, charter schools and all those schools have a much different mindset than these fucking unionized dickheads. And also why should they even be able to unionize and then control the government? Government? Our teachers unions controlled Gavin Newsom, who controlled Covid, who kept the schools closed. Is that what you want? You want Rochelle Walensky, who runs the cdc, saying we should open schools and then have a representative from the union? Tell her to shut her mouth and walk it back. And then she goes to walk it back because she needs the fucking unions on her side to donate money to the campaign so that they can then do the fucking bidding of the unions. Why is that even fair? That's called bribery. So fuck these people and let's get the fucking charter schools together. And by the way, real simple question for somebody, you can ask them two simple questions. Should people be able to find their own ID to vote? And should there be school choice? And if they say no to both those, you can go, fuck you. You're not intellectually honest. You're bought and paid for.
- [89:18]
B
Absolutely.
- [89:19]
A
There's no fucking reason in the world why kids shouldn't have school choice. And only thing is is these guys, they're big fucking bloated union bullshit, fucking heroes my ass. They're almost as bad as nurses, school teachers and nurses. The worst people on the planet. All right? Sorry. Let's listen to this dickhead.
- [89:40]
C
So when Florida students are confronted with videos of ICE raids, of families being torn apart and of Americans being murdered.
- [89:47]
A
For using their constitutional rights, they don't have to be confronted with videos. They can just watch Dora the Explorer or something. Or porn.
- [89:54]
C
Yeah, yeah. How about a video on, I don't know, DNA strands? Anything else? Because you're at school learning, not talking about ice.
- [90:00]
A
They're confronted with these videos, so now they gotta respond.
- [90:06]
C
Rates of families being torn apart and of Americans being murdered for using their constitutional rights, they respond.
- [90:12]
A
Right. Are running people over. They organize, they speak out.
- [90:15]
C
And they do what American students have always done in moments of injustice. They stand together and demand safety for their peers, their families and themselves. And that response, while framed by some.
- [90:27]
A
Politicians as radical, is rather reasonable. It's rational. And in a moment like this, it is required. It's required to any students being told three Rs speak out or walk out on their campus. I like the 3Ks myself. Clear.
- [90:42]
C
This is the United States of America. You do not shed your First Amendment rights when you step foot through the schoolhouse gate.
- [90:49]
A
Set foot. So when not. Steph. Florida students are confronted with videos of ICE raids. All right, all right. So listen, first off, where was all this when I went to school?
- [90:59]
C
Yeah.
- [90:59]
A
We didn't get a fucking snow day. We didn't get anything. We didn't get Martin Luther King's birthday off. We didn't have Covid. We didn't have fucking jack shit.
- [91:08]
C
Yeah.
- [91:08]
A
Kids now literally don't have to go to school anymore.
- [91:11]
C
Oh, yeah, no. You know, was it. Yesterday was President's Day. Tuesday day off, man. Tuesday. Also not going back to school till Wednesday.
- [91:19]
A
I. This is the thing that vexed me the most in all of stuff. And it made me realize, listen, teachers, everybody's greatest goal is to not go to work and still get paid. That's every human being's goal. It's not probably Elon Musk's goal, but every other person I've ever known. Their plan in life is to figure out a way to not go to work and get paid. Teachers are no different. All they're looking for is fucking reasons to not go to work and get paid. That's all fucking Covid was. And my kids all the time this happened. And it drove me nuts as a guy who worked in construction, which is, you never got paid. You didn't get paid for a day, you didn't get paid for an hour. If you had to leave one hour early on a Thursday to go to the dentist. They just, all right, you work 39 hours this week, they'd fucking clip that hour right off. And then, all right, now I'm rich. But I still got the same thing. I got to show up to the club, I got to show up off the hook. We got to do three shows Saturday night. I'll meet you in the lobby at 4:45 in the morning. I. There's no escaping. I either show up or I don't get paid. Either write a book or I don't get paid. Don't feel sorry for me. But that's always been my thing. I have to show up or I don't get paid. I would love to come up with a way that I didn't get on a plane and go to Florida, but I still got paid. But there is not that option. Teachers fucking love it. They love it because they love staying home day drinking during COVID and they don't give a fuck about the kids and know they're not heroes. And I know it because every single three day weekend was a four day weekend for my kids. And I asked all the time, I'd go, you got Friday off? Yeah. All right, well Monday right back to no, we got Monday off. I go, wait a minute, we got three days. We had a three day weekend here. Yeah, we got three days and then Mondays. But not Mondays. Monday, when they come back from three months of summer vacation, they don't come back on Monday, they come back on Tuesday. Why? What job? Dawson? Any job that you're aware of, where you're off for a week or three days or three months and you got a date to come back. But that's not Monday. It's not Monday. There's nothing happening on Monday. But it's not Monday, It's Tuesday. Yeah, why is it Tuesday? Why do you have fucking Monday off when you had a three day weekend? You wanna know what the answer is? We don't want to go to work.
- [93:56]
C
Yeah.
- [93:57]
A
Oh, but here's the good news in life, I don't wanna go to work, but I'd like to get paid. Okay. But now I gotta deal with the person who's paying me, who wants me to come to work. Cuz they want me to finish framing his house or cutting his J bolts off with a sawzall or whatever he does. See, now there's a problem. The guy who's framing the house in Malibu, he wants the guys to come in and frame on Monday. They would like to stay home and get paid. He doesn't Want to pay him to stay home? He wants his fucking. But now the guy who's cutting the checks doesn't want to come in either. And the fucking clients, the kids don't want to come in.
- [94:38]
C
Sure.
- [94:39]
A
So where's the pressure? Is there any pressure at all? And then we're going to put it to a vote. Hey Teachers Union. Hey teachers. Hey janitors. Hey administration. Hey kids. You want to have Monday off and get paid? Yes, we do. Okay, well the ayes have it and that's how they fucking roll. That would not work in any fucking private sector. Bullshit. And these fucking coward pussies are too scared to work in the private sector. They fucking tapped out of life. Yes. We're supposed to call them heroes. Like we're supposed to call kids people who write children's books or heroes. No, they're not. They're fucking hack writers who can't cut it with adults. They can't create entertainment for adults, so they do it for kids, cuz they're not good enough. There's nobody who's good enough. There's nobody in the fucking Wiggles who could be in Pearl Jam. They don't do it. You're in a fucking kids band because you're not good enough for adults. And you write children's books and you make Dor the Explorer because you can't make Curb youb Enthusiasm. You'd love to make Curb youb Enthusiasm, but you're not good. Or you're fucking lazy and you've tapped out of life. And that's why you've chosen your little slice of communism, which is a school can't be fired, always get paid, never gonna get rich, never be out of a job. No one's gonna hassle you. Three months off and you'll never fucking work a weekend in your life. Life. Good pussies. You tapped out. And now you're trying to convert a bunch of little kids over to your fucking communist bullshit. Yeah, so fuck you.
- [96:13]
C
Yeah, the yes man that is. That's going in for rant of the year for sure. It was the 30 for 30s Stuart Scott that just came out recently after you guys have seen it at all. But there's a great lesson in there where his daughters. He woke up on Christmas morning and said, hey, I gotta go to Cleveland this morning. Cause there's a basketball game. And his daughters were like, like what are you talking about? It's Christmas. And he goes, hey, the athletes, they're working. The production crew, they're working. Santa was working last night. Everyone's got to work just because everybody's supposed to have the day off. That's how you get ahead. It might not be show up early, stay out, stay late. Yes, that is a way to do it. But the days when everybody else has taken off, you put in a little bit of time and that's how you're going to get further in life. It's a great lesson for everybody. We're teaching kids that they shouldn't, that it's okay to take time off.
- [96:59]
A
Off.
- [97:00]
C
You shouldn't be. No wonder why China's going to kick our asses.
- [97:02]
A
Covid. Hey, all, get under the desk and hide. For two years I worked in radio for most of my life and I've never gotten a three day weekend.
- [97:12]
C
No.
- [97:13]
A
No. Did you ever get him on Loveline? No. Yeah, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm saying no and I'm, I'm thinking at the same time, no, we never, we didn't. No, I don't, I don't think we ever got a day off. You know, Arbor Day or Martin Luther King Day or President. In fact, now when I did radio in San Diego, I was in complete shock when they told me, you're, you're working Christmas Day, right? Like, oh, really?
- [97:42]
C
Yeah.
- [97:42]
A
Okay. Yeah, we, we. When I was in construction, we did a half day, the day before Christmas, and the party was, we're on the tailgate of a guy's truck and the boss bought a 12 pack of Budweiser. It was a big deal. We sat there and drank at noon. So here was our time off for Christmas on construction. Half day, day before Christmas, Christmas day off, no pay, and then back the following day so we could get paid for that day. And that was it. So, so the Baja Marimba bands follow up. Poker in the, poker in the front. No. Liquor in the front, poker in the rear. Is that, Was that the. Come in the back door?
- [98:28]
C
Yeah.
- [98:29]
A
All right. But they did, they did riders on this. Riders in the sky. Ghost riders.
- [98:35]
C
Ghost riders. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Mandela is coming to town with that song.
- [98:44]
A
My dad should have played the mandolin. Less competition. Oh, yeah. Oh, you're, you got your new station on the way home.
- [98:58]
C
Yeah. You know what? Forget the darkness. I believe in A Thing Called Love. This is my new intro song. Getting on stage now. Wow.
- [99:08]
A
Yeah, I'm sure my dad was listening to this, going, oh, yeah, this is going to be perfect. Perfect.
- [99:23]
C
That was Jim in the background there, wasn't it?
- [99:26]
A
That was me when they took my soda. That's it.
- [99:37]
C
Oh, Those docile tones.
- [99:39]
A
Ah, there he is.
- [99:47]
C
See, this was back when dudes could play because there was nothing else going on. They weren't sitting at the goddamn phones all day.
- [99:53]
A
Right.
- [99:53]
C
You had to do something with your time and energy. And this is where you put it into kick ass songs like this.
- [100:02]
A
This is the actual audition at Julius's home. I'm actually starting to think that your dad was the greatest trumpet player of all time. He could play with anything. They called him the Yoko Ono of the brass. We didn't. There were those who didn't understand. These guys are diamond ducks.
- [100:52]
C
Oh yeah. Anybody can do this.
- [101:08]
A
Well, look, a lot of people don't like me making fun of my dad, but he tortured me with that fucking trumpet my entire life.
- [101:14]
C
Yeah.
- [101:15]
A
And listen, I told people I could ride the unicycle if I carried the unicycle everywhere and brought it over to Christmas parties and had my kids sit around and watch me ride it. At some point they get old and they could complain about me and my stupid unicycle everywhere. Right. It'd be fair. It'd be a fair thing, right?
- [101:32]
C
Yeah. Yeah. Not enough shame on guys like that. Guys are just like, hey man, it's like nobody sat down and told them, hey, dude, you're not really good at this. Give us all the break. You enjoy it in your, the sanctity of your home where we all don't have to sit and listen to it. And then eventually if you happen to go out and do some open micro and you get a couple of nods your way about, hey, you're getting pretty goddamn good at that, then feel free to pull it out at the Christmas party.
- [101:56]
A
Yeah, People are too encouraging.
- [101:58]
C
Yeah.
- [101:58]
A
And not enough people get, are told you're not good at this. And it's a, it's annoying people. And no, you're not going to catch on with this band.
- [102:06]
C
My graduation party, it was supposed my grad party. My cousin who was two years younger than me, got up in front of everybody at my graduation party and sang acapella to prove how great of a singer she was. And as she walked away, one of my uncles was like, basically went over to her mom and said, you gotta tell her to knock it off. You gotta tell she ain't going anywhere with that voice. And now we just spent two and a half minutes listening to that Celine Dion song that we're never getting back and nobody ever told her. And now she's a complete train wreck in northern Minnesota.
- [102:36]
A
Well, here's the thing. Everyone either some from the family tells you right away or life tells you slowly over time. All right, I'm gonna be in Texas. I don't know if you're gonna be there February 27th, 28th, two shows. Ru's gonna be doing stand up. Someone can tell him he shouldn't be doing stand up after the show.
- [102:53]
C
Well, you're slowly telling me now. That's how that's working.
- [102:55]
A
No, no, I'm not gonna do it. Okay. No. Very funny. Stand up. And that'll be hyenas. Couple shows there each night. Go to amcroll.com for all that. Rudy, where do we go? For you?
- [103:05]
C
Yeah. So this week, Thursday, February 19th and Sunday, February 22nd, I'll be headlining House of Comedy in Minneapolis. And I am 200 people away from hitting 10,000 on Instagram, which is kind of like that number that bookers want to see. So please give me a follow at Rudy Underscore Povich. Appreciate it.
- [103:22]
A
So till next time, I'm Crawford Rudy Pavich saying mahalo. Leave us a voicemail at 888-634-1744 and get tickets to see the Ace man end of this month in Dallas, Texas@adamcarolla.com.
- [103:41]
B
Tv. We're celebrating Black History Month with our free curated collection of black entertainment.
- [103:46]
A
No ifs, ands or buts about it.
- [103:48]
B
Catch award winning films like Dreamgirls, Monster's Ball and Selma.
- [103:52]
A
We must make a massive demonstration.
- [103:54]
B
Iconic hits like School Days and Set it all. Plus full seasons of shows like Tyler Perry's Sisters and Power.
- [104:02]
A
I got you it.
- [104:03]
B
Star studded brilliant black entertainment. And it's all free. It's getting good this month and always on Pluto TV stream now. Hey Never. We're celebrating Black History Month with our free curated collection of black entertainment. No ifs, ands or buts about catch award winning films like Dreamgirls, Monsters Ball and Selma.
- [104:22]
A
We must make a massive demonstration.
- [104:24]
B
Iconic hits like School Days and Set it Off. Plus full seasons of shows like Tyler Perry's Sisters and Power.
- [104:32]
A
I got you.
- [104:32]
B
It stars studded, brilliant black entertainment. And it's all free. It's getting good this month and always on Pluto TV stream Now pay never.