Adam Carolla (26:54)
Kim Coates from. He's an actor. You know him for the Patriots. Kim Coates, yeah. You know, really good guy. Remember the episode of Entourage? The guy who killed himself? It was like the AA guy who was the producer who killed himself. Like he wanted to make that movie. And then it's like I'm mixing up Sopranos. This is the last season. Oh, very last season. Good season, Sons of Anarchy. Anyway, good guy, guy. He's on the pole. I'm next to him. And because things have been screwed up, Jerry's behind me, and there's a few other. There's a few other guys that are up there. And pole position is Westland strip club name, by the way. And we. So we're all up there and I have really. He gets the thing. I don't know what the hell to do. And. Well, then the race begins and there's a lot of. Of, as usual, a lot of chaos. And here's the thing. I realize, you know, I tell people all the time, kind of weird. I said to. It was funny because there was a little controversy, as there is every year. I said to everybody before the race, because there's a certain point you have to time the start. If you don't do the start right, they make you go around again. You have to. They do a rolling start. Now, the way you do the start on a rolling start is the guy who's on the pole position. He sets the pace. Everyone else is stacked up two by two behind him. So he's to the left because the first turn is a left turn. So that's pole position. He has the inside for the first turn. I'm next to him, and we're right next to each other. And there's a pace car that's on the track in front of us. When the pace car pulls off, it's now up to us to set a reasonable pace. If he starts taking off, whoever's throwing the green flag is not throwing the green flag. They'll let you go around. They'll tell you, go around again. He has to keep it at a slow and steady pace. I have to look at him and not get in front of him and keep him. Everybody has to get queued up and rolling. It's like. It's like somebody says, look, I will start this race when all of you guys are lined up neatly. There's 18 cars, or however many 12 cars in the first group. You need to be two next to each other all the way back going the same speed. Once you guys do that, I'll throw the green. If I see anyone jump or anyone start picking up the pace and have someone behind getting left behind or something, no green, you'll go around again. So it's sort of an honor system. Everyone play nice. Nobody jump anything. Play clean. You'll get a green flag, you'll get a start, and once the green drops, it's on. So that's how they started. Says to me, look, I'll keep it. And I said to him, second gear, 3,500 rpm, 4,000 rpm. It'll give you somewhere to go. Because there's nothing worse than having to shift. It's so loud at the beginning, you don't realize you should be shifting. Blah, blah, blah, adrenaline, all that kind of stuff. So we sort of worked it out and we'll set the pace. And I told him I'd stay on him. And then the instructors leave and they just go. All the drivers, you all just stand in the road. And I just said, look, everybody, for the love of Christ. If you see an opening and it's the first or second lap, if you see that opening, it's going to be there in the third, fourth, and fifth lap. Like, if you see. You'll see. When you race, there'll be a guy. It's like boxing. You'll see the guy's dragging his right or he's not quite. You'll see that opening, and you'll see it on the racetrack. You'll go, this corner, that corner, and that corner that guy takes really well. But this one corner, he takes it a Little wide, and I think I can catch him on that corner. So I said to everybody, take a lap, because you all have to queue up and go single file through the first turn. You're going from 100 miles an hour, 110 miles an hour, down to, like 50 on the first turn. And everyone's got to line it up. And if someone goes balls out, you're going to take out five people on the first turn. And as the great racers always say, never. There's racing adages that are always. They're totally fucked out, but they're also good. Like, you know, Dan Gurney said, never, never won a race on the first turn, but I've lost a lot of races on the first turn. So it's like, just get. Let's get through. Let's get. Let's get a lap. Let's get queued up, and then we'll start racing. And I said, look, everyone, when you see that opening good, it'll be there next lap. Use it next lap, but don't dive in on the first or second lap and fuck somebody up. Eddie Cibrian dove in on me at the end of the first trail. We didn't get a quarter lap, the motherfucker thing. And I was funny because I was talking to Lynette about this, and she said, well, why didn't he listen to you? And I said, why doesn't anyone listen to me? I have no fucking idea. All I do is talk. And then I realized you can't stop some people from doing those things. You just can't stop them. And I said, this is the dude equivalent to. It's like these. The Eddie Cibrian, nicest guy in the world. Adrian Brody, nicest guy in the world. But when they get on the track, look out. And I said, it's kind of the dude equivalent to the chick who told my sister I called my nephews Nazis. Like, there's nothing in it for them. It's just. They can't fucking help themselves. It's almost a flaw. It's like, they're not bad people, but they just can't. They can't help it once that red mist comes over their eyes and the adrenaline's going. So, anyway, I'll show you the front of the race. I'll show you the green flag dropping, and you can see Eddie Cibrian dive in. Later on, he dove in. This is all right, so go back. Sorry, go back to the front. But if you look. If you look to the upper right, you'll see where we're looking for the green flag. The green flag. 65,000 people at this place was awesome and a beautiful day. So that's Coats to my left. He's a little bit ahead of me. He's setting the pace. And we're looking. You can run it. We're looking for the green flag. There it is. There it is. Right, so now there's the green flag. And that's Shoreline Drive going down the back straight, by the way, PF Changs off the left. Passed it. Right. Did you stop now? I was thinking about stopping, but they don't have a drive through.
