Daniel Pyne + Michael Anthony (Carolla Classics)

Summary

Adam Carolla Show: Daniel Pyne + Michael Anthony (Carolla Classics)

Release Date: April 12, 2026
Podcast Network: PodcastOne / Carolla Digital
Guests: Daniel Pyne (screenwriter), Michael Anthony (musician, Van Halen/Chickenfoot)

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Episode Overview

This Carolla Classics episode features highlights from two fan-favorite Adam Carolla Show episodes:

1. 2012 Interview with Screenwriter Daniel Pyne—Dives into writing thrillers, working in Hollywood, true-crime inspiration, and working with the likes of JJ Abrams and Jon Voight.
2. Interview with Michael Anthony (Van Halen/Chickenfoot)—Traces his band beginnings, Van Halen’s evolution, dramatic behind-the-scenes stories, and the formation of Chickenfoot.

Adam, Allison Rosen, Dr. Drew Pinsky, and Bald Brian bring their trademark blend of sharp humor, storytelling, pop culture insight, and laid-back banter, delivering both comedy and fascinating behind-the-scenes tales.

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Key Segments & Insights

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1. Adam’s Long Beach Grand Prix & Life Reflections

[00:39–23:00]

• Adam discusses his weekend racing at the Long Beach Grand Prix, providing a hilarious, highly detailed play-by-play.
• Opens up about a recent MRI and muscle tear (“side butt problem”), aging, and physical decline.
• Shares the awkwardness of speaking at the USC business school shortly after two students were murdered nearby, reflecting on tragedy, cultural attitudes, and how life often returns to normal too quickly.
• Observing campus reactions:
  “It’s this weird thing where sort of one of your own was just essentially executed...And now all of a sudden, I'm supposed to be kind of telling stories and cracking wise...it's literally not been 24 hours since these two were just senselessly murdered.” —Adam Carolla [04:41]
• Philosophizes on the value of life, cognitive dissonance, and how people process (or ignore) uncomfortable realities.

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2. Narcissism in Hollywood & Dr. Drew’s Questionnaire

[07:45–13:34]

• Adam rants about Dr. Drew’s “narcissism questionnaire” for Loveline guests, more interested in research than show flow.
• Hilarious reenactments of musicians distractedly filling out questionnaires mid-interview.
• “Every life is precious. Nah, there’s old hobos whose life isn’t really that precious. And then there's young people that are bright and that are engineering students…Their life is a little more precious than a lot of other people's.” —Adam Carolla [06:57]
• Adam and Drew humorously debate the “pencils down” moment for these interviews.

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3. Celebrity Hospital Visits: Sick Kids, Parents, and Soccer Balls

[16:07–22:26]

• Adam recollects visiting a children’s hospital with other celebrity drivers.
• Comically describes meeting kids who are about to be discharged instead of the “really sick” ones he expected:
  "I'm trying to wrestle the stuffed animal back from her, like, hey, that f*cking stuffed elephant's for sick people—not people who are going home." —Adam Carolla [17:04]
• Heartfelt realization that hospital visits are as important for the parents, who carry the emotional burden, as for the kids.

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4. The Celebrity Grand Prix: Track Drama and Racing Lessons

[22:26–39:26]

• Adam gives a vivid, blow-by-blow account of the celebrity race: qualifying drama, on-track etiquette, racing strategy, and mishaps.
• Explains the mindset for winning ("never win a race on the first turn, but I've lost a lot of races on the first turn"), and coping with hot-headed competitors: "If you see an opening and it's the first or second lap...you'll see it on the racetrack—you'll go, this corner, that corner, and that corner, that guy takes really well. But this one corner, he takes it a little wide, and I think I can catch him on that corner." [26:41]
• Details the adrenaline rush of leading, dealing with yellow flags, and maintaining position amidst chaos from aggressive drivers.

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5. Victory, Pageantry, and Carolla’s Take on Achievement

[47:14–54:14]

• Adam’s description of winning and the ceremony:
  "The fcking victory lap is the greatest five minutes of my life. Forget everything, it was the greatest...Just going around, honking, fcking waving." —Adam Carolla [44:38]
• Reflects on why earning a win is so satisfying: "If everyone gets to get in the tundra and do the victory lap, then it means nothing...The only reason this feels good is because there were 18 other people that wanted it just as bad. And that's the reason it's good." —Adam Carolla [54:12]
• Blasts the idea of “everyone’s special” participation:
  "No, everybody bust your ass. And even if you bust your ass, you'll be lucky. It takes a certain amount of retards. It takes a certain amount of luck..."

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6. Interview with Daniel Pyne — Screenwriting Psychology

[56:43–66:43]

• Daniel Pyne (screenwriter: Fracture, Any Given Sunday, Alcatraz) dishes on the business and craft of thrillers, and personal inspiration:
  • On writing "Fracture": "The whole idea was to do a psychological law thriller. Kill the wife, get away with it." —Daniel Pyne [58:39]
  • Explores courtroom psychology, defending yourself in court, and why the justice system makes for great drama.
• Pyne relates how he researches legal topics: “I’ve always been interested in wife killing—in the law...from a Kafka point of view, like The Trial.” —Daniel Pyne [58:54]
• Funny digressions into courtroom stereotypes and failures (“I like when they put themselves on the stand and then talk to themselves. Yeah. Yeah, that's awesome.” — Adam [60:47])

Notable Moment

• Adam pitches a “JJ Abrams-esque” story idea: using a psychic to gaslight a spouse into suicide: "How do you get them to kill themselves?...You get in with a gypsy woman...then you do that thing where you’re driving home and you go, the palm reader, let's have some kicks...the palm reader who's already front-loaded with all this information, reads your wife...and then at the end says, unfortunately, I see a very painful and tragic death, soon." [66:26]

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7. The News with Allison Rosen (2012 Flashback)

[70:26–87:55]

• Covers Trayvon Martin/George Zimmerman case, Secret Service scandal in Colombia, and political appearances (Mitt Romney on SNL).
• Adam offers social commentary and rants:
  • On Secret Service/Colombia: “It's happening on a very large scale, which is guys used to have jobs and that job was cool...you only get 60 grand a year, but you get to do whatever the f*ck you want all the time.” [73:39]
  • On rock reunions (Axl Rose/Guns N’ Roses), with caustic humor about bands missing opportunities, the Hall of Fame, and “bands I never need to hear again” (U2, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Beastie Boys).

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8. Screenwriting & Hollywood Talk with Daniel Pyne (Continued)

[87:55–103:46]

• Discusses working with Meryl Streep, Liev Schreiber, and Jon Voight.
• Adam laments “witch” and volcano movies and rails against hacky entertainment tropes.
• Conversation on Jon Voight’s eccentricities, Liev Schreiber’s voiceover career, and the insider experience of dealing with big actors.

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9. Michael Anthony (Van Halen, Chickenfoot) Interview

[110:04–179:01]

Band Beginnings, Early Scene, and Van Halen Dynamics

• Anthony recounts the band’s origin, being recruited from rival local bands, and rehearsing in David Lee Roth’s father’s "Rothwood" mansion in Pasadena.
• Reveals that Roth was asked to join largely for his PA system: “He said, why do we have to just keep borrowing and renting this PA system? Let’s just get the guy to sing with us, and then we got the PA too.” —Michael Anthony [120:56]
• Shares stories on Van Halen’s creative process, differences between the Roth and Hagar eras, and the band's “four-headed monster” approach.

On Showmanship & Band Drama

• Illuminates Roth as a showman, and how his ego and personality both defined and eventually destabilized Van Halen.
• Adam, on Roth’s antics: "He was just born to be a front man...had pretty good pipes but...was just great timing in terms of if it was the 40s, it probably wouldn't have worked out." [128:14]
• Michael candid about the band's explosive infighting, especially with David Lee Roth and, later, Eddie Van Halen taking more control: "Eddie, you know, took more of a control part of the band...when Sammy joined, we became more musically proficient as a band...” —Michael Anthony [139:02]
• On brothers fighting: "Him and his brother...they’d be going chingaso. Rolling around on the ground...But they’re brothers." [141:49]

Finances & Longevity

• Michael credits his accountant with keeping him comfortable: “If this is going to be over tomorrow, I want to make sure at least I got a few dollars in my pocket.” [144:13]
• Discusses how fans are split between the Roth and Hagar eras and why Van Halen’s only No. 1 single with Roth was "Jump."

Opening Acts and Tour Insanity

• Mentions giving early stage time to bands like Alice in Chains and Collective Soul.
• On opening for UFO: “That’s when we actually played our first all original set.” [161:47]
• Deep dive on big-stage economics (“for every 18-wheeler filled with sh*t, you got to take a little off the top”), keeping costs down, and the boons/burdens of rock superstardom.

Chickenfoot & Later Projects

• Shares how Chickenfoot was born of friendship, not commerce:
  “We get along great...we have no plans of just letting this thing go” —Michael Anthony [147:55]
• Explains the shift to smaller venues and keeping the music pure, and why the band avoided “cash grab” nostalgia tours.

Q&A, Vanity, and Partying

• Calls from fans prompt reflections on Guitar Hero, high-register singing (“I guess I was just born with [that voice]”), and favorite international audiences.
• On Valerie Bertinelli: “She’d drink all my Jack Daniels.” —Michael Anthony [160:08]
• Witty aside on classic rock shows: “The only thing worse than being a chick who’s packing on the weight is being married to Skeletor who can’t put on an ounce.” —Adam Carolla [158:51]

Advice for New Musicians

• Michael reinforces the value of financial planning and loving the craft over chasing paydays.
• Teases future car-themed appearances ("CarCast") with Adam, plugging his Bond Speed wheels business.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Every life is precious. Nah, there's old hobos whose life isn’t really that precious...” —Adam Carolla [06:57]
• “I tell people all the time: kind of weird...why doesn’t anyone listen to me? I have no f*cking idea.” —Adam Carolla [29:07]
• “He was such a showman...the cosmic showman man. He was.” —Michael Anthony on David Lee Roth [129:10]
• “If you see an opening...it’s going to be there in the third, fourth and fifth lap. Use it next lap, but don’t dive in on first or second and f*ck somebody up.” —Adam Carolla [26:41]
• “If everyone gets to do the victory lap, it means nothing...it’s the exact opposite of that ‘everyone’s special’ thing.” —Adam Carolla [54:12]
• “Our fans are kind of equally divided as far as which era of Van Halen they like better...but we...did more with Hagar.” —Michael Anthony [123:14]
• [On Chickenfoot] “We didn’t need to go and do a big cash grab. We want to do it the right way and earn our fans.” —Michael Anthony [149:37]

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Timestamps: Segment Guide

• 00:39–23:00 — Adam’s Grand Prix, MRI story, speaking at USC after a tragedy.
• 07:45–13:34 — Rants on narcissism, Dr. Drew questionnaire.
• 16:07–22:26 — Hospital visit, celebrity and parent perspectives.
• 22:26–39:26 — Race strategy, driving drama, racing wisdom.
• 47:14–54:14 — Victory, competition, philosophy on achievement.
• 56:43–66:43 — Daniel Pyne interview, writing, court psychology.
• 70:26–87:55 — News with Allison Rosen: Trayvon Martin, Secret Service, Rock Hall, music rants.
• 110:04–179:01 — Michael Anthony interview: Van Halen origins, dynamics, Chickenfoot, Q&A, touring stories.

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Tone and Style

Expect classic Adam Carolla wit: blunt, irreverent, playful and quick on the draw. The show is equal parts comedy, pop culture, rock history, and unsparing real talk—a mix for fans of “candid wisdom” filtered through hilarious cynicism.

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For First-Time Listeners

This episode is a treasure trove for fans of classic rock, Hollywood insidery anecdotes, and Adam’s signature blend of sharp, skeptical humor. With its highly detailed stories, lively banter, and deep-dive interviews, it's as entertaining for music/film buffs as for podcast newcomers.

Transcript

[Michael Anthony]

Foreign.

[Adam Carolla]

Classics. I'm your host, superfan Giovanni. This is the podcast we play the best moments, highlights and fans select the clips from all 17 years of the Adam Corolla show. If you'd like to hear any of the full episodes or clips presented in these episodes, make sure to check out

[Allison Rosen]

Adam Carollo's substack adamcarollo.substack.com There you'll find ad free archives of the Adam Carolla

[Adam Carolla]

show, The Adam and Dr. Drew show, as well as the podcast Beat It Out. And if you'd like to request a clip, please email us classicsamcarollo.com all right, let's get to the clips coming up.

[Allison Rosen]

First we have Adam Carollo Show 801 featuring Daniel Pine, Allison Rosen and Brian Bishop from 2012.

[Adam Carolla]

Good day, Allison Rosen.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Hello, Adam Carolla.

[Adam Carolla]

Good day, Bald Brian. Number one. Speaking of numbers, Legal Zoom Top five reasons. Start your business at Legal Number one. You want to succeed, right?

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

That's the cost. How much you think a lawyer Costs an hour?

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Average 500. 212.

[Adam Carolla]

295. 295.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Oh my God, that's. Who can afford that?

[Adam Carolla]

Nobody. That's only they can afford themselves.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Exactly. That's why lawyers always go to lawyers.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right. They're the only ones who can afford themselves. Imagine if roofers were that way.

[Allison Rosen]

What a racket.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

We'd all be really wet when it rained.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right. Yeah, we would. LegalZoom. Many of the fastest growing companies in America all started through LegalZoom. You get the peace of mind through LegalZoom, a $50,000 guarantee and business legal plans. And also you get the free accounting software, free domain name and more. Support them. They support us, right, Dawson, Be sure to enter Adam in the referral box at checkout for more savings for LLCs and corporations, DB trademarks and more trust. LegalZoom.com LegalZoom is not a law firm. And self help services are provided at your specific direction. All right, so tell you all about the big race over there in Long beach over the weekend. First, I'll sort of work in order. I had an MRI a couple of days ago because I had my hip problem, which wasn't really a hip problem, it was a buttocks problem, but it was a side butt problem. I don't know what the hell the

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

sexiest part of the butt.

[Adam Carolla]

That part where your hip bone is and you just go down about 6 inches and right in there somewhere was in excruciating pain. And I'm not normally in excruciating pain the other day or the other week and finally went in and there was swelling and blah, blah, blah. And went in and got my MRI and Dr. Bruce called and said you had a tear. So some muscle tear down there, but feels good now.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Good. Do you have any idea how you did it? How you tore your butt?

[Adam Carolla]

Your side butt?

[Michael Anthony]

I've had anal sex and I've passed out a couple times.

[Adam Carolla]

I Is Bruce coming in today and is he underwater? I figured out that I changed my surface. I skipped rope in my bedroom instead of in the room. I always skip rope and somehow screwed my feet up with the extra carpet and padding or something. I mean it's, you know, freakish getting old being, you know, just stupid, weak, whatever. But got my.

[Michael Anthony]

You're all worthless and weak.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, that's me. So I had. And then I went into USC to speak to the business school which I've been known to do a time or two. And it was horrible because it was like 20 hours after those poor. I think there were Chinese. I don't know if they were exchange or whatever.

[Allison Rosen]

They're foreign students.

[Adam Carolla]

They're foreign students. A couple of 22, 23 year olds just got shot dead in their car. And it was one of those like, you know when it's like that drug deal gone bad. So you sort of go, well, I guess they shouldn't have been involved with whatever this was. Couple of engineering students in their, you know, 23 year old engineering students just sitting in their car parked somewhere near USC and oh, they think it maybe was a, maybe a botched carjacking. It's like really? No shit botched, like because they found him dead in their car. But anyway, moving on.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Tragedy is they never got to hear you speak.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes, well, one of the tragedies, they were engineering students. I was speaking at the business school but either way I was bummed out because I was going to USC the day after. Yeah.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

What was the mood on campus like?

[Adam Carolla]

Sadly not sad. There were news vans and things there and I'm going to speak to the student and half of the Marshall Business School are Asian half plus Asian students. So it's this weird thing where sort of one of your own with just essentially executed outside of this, you know, I don't know, two blocks from where we're standing right now. Just last evening or in the wee hours. Yeah, it's a picture, I think of the two sad people that were killed for. And again for no reason. They had a new BMW. They thought maybe the guys wanted their Car. I don't know what the story was. And now all of a sudden, I'm supposed to be kind of telling stories and cracking wise and being amusing and entertaining. And it's like it's literally not been 24 hours since these two were just senselessly murdered just in a nice new BMW just two blocks from where we are. I don't know what it was, but again, just the notion. There's not that much outrage about it. It's like, that was probably a carjacking. But anyway, I guess it went wrong.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Yeah. The idea that life just goes on, though, and everyone. Because I remember when I was in college, this student committed suicide. And I went to a small school, and so everyone was very aware of it, but the next day, everyone just went class anyway. And I remember feeling very weird about that, like something should stop. People should recognize the tragedy somehow.

[Adam Carolla]

And as bad as that is, it's weirder when obviously it's two people and they weren't committing suicide. They wanted to live. Somebody just shot them while they were sitting. They made the mistake of pulling over in the wrong place or I don't know what the story was, but it'd be nice if they could catch the chaps that just decided it'd be a good idea to murder a couple of people who they for no cause. To me, that is the. This is the most dangerous element our society has to offer, which is, you know, you watch those 48 hours in those 2000s, and it's like she had a lover she took an insurance policy out on. Okay. She'd been married nine times, and her husband's. And to me, that's like, listen, you want to marry a nut job who's putting rat poison into your steel? Cut oatmeal every morning. That's your know an awful lot about

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

how to do that.

[Adam Carolla]

That's your G.D. this is someone you've never met, never seen, have nothing to do with just sort of basically executing you. And also, and we always get Every life is precious. Nah, there's old hobos whose life isn't really that precious. And then there's young people that are bright and that are engineering students and that came from a million miles away to live their dreams. Their life is a little more precious than a lot of other people's. And it's sad.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Imagine for the parents, like, I wonder when the last time they saw their kids was. Then they send them off to college, and then this happens.

[Adam Carolla]

So that felt weird going and speaking at the Marshall Business School, But I Had nice talk with the kiddies, and we recorded the whole thing. And I think we're just going. It's Q and A with some. Here's my keys to success.

[Allison Rosen]

What was the class? Do you have any idea, like, what was the course? It was a general business. Was it marketing? Was it new media? Was it.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it's like entertainment and blah, blah, blah, media and all that good stuff. Mark, who's the teacher, who's a friend of Dr. Drew's, a CO wrote. Well, you know Mark Young.

[Allison Rosen]

You did a study with him.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, Mark Young, who did the study with Dr. Drew. And I don't know if that was the Mirror Effect or that was another book, but either way, the one on narcissism, that fucking drove me nuts because I had to sit all these motherfucking celebrities. Here's the book I'm going to write. The power. The power of wanting things a certain way and wanting them your way. You know, how you can overcome, like. You know, so stories like when somebody takes. Once in a while, the bank fucks up and it puts $100,000 into your account by mistake. And then you spend 35,000. And then when they go, oh, yeah, that was a mistake. We went the 35 back. You're like, well, fuck that, right? That is bullshit. That's bullshit.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

It's a bank error in my favor.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm getting fucked. And it's like, would you be talking this way if it wasn't you or if that wasn't your money or if you were out the 30?

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

No.

[Adam Carolla]

What your brain is able to do, right?

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Cognitive dissonance.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. The why didn't somebody leave a note on my car when they scratched it? Versus how many times you bumped into somebody else's car? Not left a note. You know, just what you expect out of others and what you want, right? Like what you want to be. Versus just always have.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Like, if I had done. If that were me, I would have. Blah, blah, blah. It's like, you wouldn't have done any of that.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Versus what is. And I was conducting my own little experiment with Dr. Drew because as I've said famously many times, his thing was he had to get every goddamn celebrity on Loveline to fill out his, like, three page. Are you a narcissist? You know, questionnaire. And he's such a clinician, that guy, and he's such a fucking pussy student that don't be a player hater. He would have him fill it out, you know, and then. So what would happen is the show would Start. And then the person would be like. Like you'd be interviewing me.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

So tell me about your band.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, hold on, let me see. Who am I. Who am I gonna be? See?

[Allison Rosen]

Stephen Jenkins, Third Eye Blind.

[Adam Carolla]

I'll be Stephen Jenkins from Third Eye Blind.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Thanks for coming to the show today, Stephen. Yeah, what's been going on with your band?

[Adam Carolla]

No problem.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Uh huh. So you guys just got off of a big European tour, right? You play? What festivals did you play?

[Adam Carolla]

It's. Hold on a second. So if I think I'm the smartest person that's ever born versus the smartest person in the room, is that one of them? Okay, sorry, what were you saying?

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

I was asking which festivals you played in Europe.

[Adam Carolla]

Hold on.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

You know, we could do a different question. So tell me about the new album.

[Michael Anthony]

I heard a little bit of.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

It's great.

[Adam Carolla]

Last album was good and we got a new album. Yeah, it was good coming out. Hold on a second here. If I don't. So if I don't have a middle name where it says middle initial, just don't write anything, or if I put a zero, people think it's Oscar, is

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

your middle name on the album?

[Adam Carolla]

Hmm.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Middle name for the album.

[Adam Carolla]

This is. This is. This was a year. This was a year of this. It was a year of him. Him getting fucking people filling the paperwork out. So I said, hey, Drew, knock it off. And by the way, why do we sound all weird and shitty now? Did something happen to our mics? No. Okay. So I said, drew, knock it the fuck off. I can't interview these people. They're filling out your fucking paperwork.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Can't they do it after.

[Adam Carolla]

I said, look, here's the rule. They can do it before the show, they can do it after the show, or they can do it during the commercial. But when the show starts or we come back from the commercial, like the teachers would say, pencils down. You know, flip it over. Pencils down. Did you understand that, Drew? He'd say, yeah, okay, I gotcha. And then the person who would be sitting, Stephen Jenkins, would be sitting there and Drew would be sitting where you are. We'd come back from the commercial and he'd be busily sawing away on his paperwork. And I'd just be staring at him and looking at Drew. And I'd say to Drew, what's up, Drew? And he'd go, what? And I'd say, well, what's going on here? What? I'd say, he's fucking filling the thing out. And the show started. We'd start Every show with an argument about this. And he'd go, I didn't see it. And I'd say, you didn't see it, Drew? You didn't see it? And he'd go, no, I did not see it. I'd say, you're three feet away from the guy who's fucking filling out the paper. What do you mean you didn't see it? I didn't see it. And Drew would get weird and sensitive and hurt sometimes. Or he went like, adam, I'm sorry, I didn't see it, okay? I don't pay attention to these things. And I'd say, he didn't see it, or he didn't want to see it. Sorry.

[Allison Rosen]

Sometimes the Steven Jenkinses of the world would pick up on the weirdness and go, like, what's going on? What's going on? Drew would be like, adam has this thing.

[Adam Carolla]

He started dumping on me. And then at a certain point, I got fucking livid because it would just keep.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

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[Adam Carolla]

And I realized he wanted them to fill out the fucking paperwork so badly that he was able to sit there and not see it, even though the room was perfectly lit and he was two feet away from the person, oftentimes just sitting, looking at him like you're looking at br. Of course you fucking saw it. So we'd get in this argument where I'd say, he didn't see it, Drew. And he'd go, I did not see it. I'd go, you didn't see it? And he'd go, I did not see it. Then I'd go, give me your fucking car keys. And he'd go, what for? And I'd go, cause you can't drive. I cannot allow you to drive. You shall not be allowed to drive. You cannot drive. It's fucking dangerous. You'll hurt yourself. You'll kill somebody. If you physically did not see. Of course you saw the person. You saw them very clearly. You did not process it because you did not want to process it because you wanted so badly for that paperwork to get filled out. That's what's going On. He'd be like, that's not what's going on. I just didn't see. I'd be like, please, you're gonna just fucking admit I'm right? Admit you don't know what's going on with your own eyeballs. And it's not sending the right messages to your brain because your brain wants something to be so much. And this, by the way, this is why they found out that eyewitnesses to crimes and stuff, it's just. It's a disaster half the time, like, you just. Everyone's just playing. Everyone has their own retarded puppet show in their head, and that's about it. And you're just getting in the way. And so this was the argument. This should have been the book. How people can just fucking block shit out of their brain. Even the great Dr. Drew. So where the hell was I? Oh, yeah, USC. Then, over the weekend, went to a children's hospital and all the drivers, just about all the drivers from the celebrity and the pros and everybody, Long Beach Grand Prix thing, went to the children's hospital in Long beach and had this great moment. So you're downstairs, and they're doing the thank you. And the hospital staff and the nurses are always so, thank you, thank you, thank you. And it's always like, oh, what are we doing? And they give you a bunch of toys to give away. These wagons. You pull these Radio Flyer wagons with all the stuffed animals filled with Galaxy soccer balls. I was like. I said to Brody Jenner, I said to Brody Jenner, I said, God guarantee you, 20 years ago, when your pops, Bruce was walking through this fucking hospital, he had a Rams football, not a goddamn soccer ball. This is a very bad sign of the times, getting these sick kids going on soccer. But anyway, we go. So we go into the. There's a Leon Rimes in there, too. So we go.

[Allison Rosen]

A little foresight there, either.

[Adam Carolla]

We go into the. We go into. So it's like, a lot of these kids are sick, a lot of these kids, you know, blah, blah, blah. And a lot of these kids don't know what it's like to sleep in their own bed and just really cheer them up to have you celebrities come. And so it's like we go into the first room and there's. You forget about the etiquette, you know. You know, say stuff like, how's it going? How you feeling? You know, what's going on?

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

When are you walking out of here?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. So, like, I literally said to the first girl, fucked up. Like, She's a seven year old. I said, when do you think you might be able to go home? She's like, oh, this afternoon. I was like, this afternoon? Yeah, yeah. It was like an hour or something. And I was like, mom, really? She's like, oh, yeah. Later on today, I was like, oh, where do you live? Just local. Just half hour away. Yeah, yeah. I'm fucking thinking, hey, bitch, I drove an hour and a half to get out of here. You're going home later.

[Allison Rosen]

Someone sicker.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I'm trying to wrestle the stuffed animal back from her, you know, like, hey, that fucking. That fucking stuffed elephants for sick people. Not people are going home.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Soccer ball, right?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. So then we go into the next room and I'm like, hey, sweetie, when are you going home? Today? Just a little bit, Mom. Yeah, yeah, we're local. We're heading home. I'm like, what the fuck? Where's everyone going? Where's my fucking sick kids?

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Right? So did they not trust you around them?

[Adam Carolla]

Eventually we got some sick kids and we got into that thing.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

A few.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, few. And we had to, you know, put the gowns on, put the mask on, everything. And, you know, I was saying at the press conference and all that kind of stuff yesterday, when they talk about, you know, it's for the kids, it's for the kids. For the kids. I just wanted to remind people about the parents because the kids, you know, know 5, 6, 7 years old, first off, they don't give a fuck who we are. So I'm like, hey, man, show. You know, hey, Mr. Burcham used to dig your shit on Kroc and you

[Allison Rosen]

were awesome before I was born.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

They don't know and saw you at Winnie Roast.

[Adam Carolla]

Honestly, it's not. They don't know Bill Fichtner either. Like, they don't know, you know, hey, entourage, you know, they don't know any of their six. You know, I mean, unless Wawa wuzy walks into a place, they don't give a shit.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

That song.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, we're gonna play. The point is this. It's the parents. The parents are a. They need the help more than the kids. The kids sadly along for the ride. They're just. They don't know what's going on. The parents know what's going on. And it's got to be heart wrenching and heartbreaking for the parents. Those are the people that need the cheering up. Honestly, the kid's in bed, the kid's watching cartoons, the kid's going through hell, but the kid doesn't know what the kid is going through. The parents are the ones that are all too aware of what the reality and the gravity of the situation.

[Allison Rosen]

You're 100% right. Alice and I were just talking about this before the show where Christy had a harder time with my sickness than I did because I was kinda like, well, I'm in the thick of it, I know I'm kinda out of it, whatever. And she's fully aware, fully going through all of it, but just watching, you know, but whatever. And that's how it is with the parents.

[Adam Carolla]

And not only that, I mean, obviously have all your faculties. You're adult, you can understand statistics, percentages and what everything means these kids. Honestly, when you're six, who the hell knows you're still believing in Santa. I mean, you just don't know what's going on other than you don't feel right or you want to know why we're getting all these tests or doing these things. But the poor parents are sleeping on folding chairs and they're there on a brave face and they're having to pretend and the parents are a mess soon as the kid leaves and stuff. So to me it was like, let's go cheer up some fucking parents because the kid doesn't give a shit. The kid has Disney TV anyway. Let's go make some 40 year old people smile and some grandparents. Yeah. No, Jerry Westland. Yeah. Now Jerry, the guy who owns the strip club. A couple things. Wait, who's that? I didn't. There's a guy named Jerry Westland. And Jerry, I'll show you a picture, something. I was having a laugh with this guy. He's one of the. There's two guys each year who buy their way in through an auction. And this guy owns a string of strip clubs through the, you know, the Dade county beyond. And he is just.

[Allison Rosen]

The strip belt.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, he is just fucking perfect. It's just he has the glasses with the $600 gold frames on him. He has the pinky ring, he has the bracelet. And you'll see he's in the middle there. I'm not doing him. He buys in every year. Not doing him justice. You got to see the pictures. He's filthy. He slaps every chick on the. He destroys cars. And during practice. Practice, not qualifying. Practice, not qualifying, just practice. There he is. He's perfect. And he's big and loud and fucking in charge and owns strip clubs and every joke's a double entendre. And he's got a big gold Rolex and It's the whole nine yards. And he comes in every time, and he takes out five people on the track every time. And so during practice, I got out of the car and I said to everyone, get by clean. And they said, one person ruined a car. And I said, jerry Westland. And they're like, yep, that's him. That is him. Did I get his name? Right now I'm thinking Jerry West. Anyway, crazy guy, funny guy. And I said to the guys at Toyota, I said, look, do the math, because on big years, when the economy's right, it costs about 1001-050001-10000, doll, to get in on this race. But when the economy's sagging, it's like 65k. So some years, like this year, it's like 65k. See, he ruins four of those scions, and you guys end up running at a deficit. He literally. He totals the cars. He totals the cars during practice. Because the barriers at Long beach are. You hit the apex of your corner, and you run it all the way out to the widest part. And when you run it all. There he is. When you run it out to the widest part, that's him. That's his watch. He's wearing a gold chain under there. It's just awesome.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

And there's cement barriers, and you hit the barriers, and that's what happens. So let's see what happened. Oh, man, talk about this. For a long time, I was. Oddsmakers had me number one. I saw they dropped you and then they dropped me. It's weird, by the way. You know, you never felt more self conscious. Oh, by the way, he's driving the T. He's driving the Trans Am. He's driving the smoking, the Bandit Trans Am. You go to AdamKroll.com you see his pictures. I mean, the guy's a cartoon of a strip club owner, but he fucking lives it, eats it and breathes it, and loves it. This fucking loves it. So now we do. So we do. Pretty sure.

[Allison Rosen]

That Trans Am in a White Snake video, I'm.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm number one. So Vegas has me at number one. I don't know why, but they have me at number one. Because what they do is they go out and they watch you at the track, and then they talk to the instructors. I think they like. I think they do what sports guys do. Like, they talk to the coach. Any injuries? What's going on? How's your kicker feeling?

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

How's the side butt?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Check the weather. How's the side butt doing? Yeah, so there's Jerry's car. Anyway, so I'm number one. And everyone comes up to me during our practice day and says, oh, guess who's number one? And I said, oh, I'm number one. I didn't know that. I didn't have any idea I was number one. I'm flattered. I'm number one. Then we do lead and follow. Now, this is just first time on the track. This is last week. This is just lead and follow. Just follow the instructor round. And when you're done, four cars, next guy slides up, you slide to the back. Instructor will keep the pace. You stay behind him. No passing anyone. No passing the instructor.

[Allison Rosen]

What's the purpose of this? Just to get the. Lay it alive.

[Adam Carolla]

Just to get you acclimated to the track, to Long Beach. Cause you've been running up at Willow Springs, and now we're getting you to the track at Long Beach. And it's lead, follow, no pass, no anything. I somehow, after that session, go from number one to number three. And I'm like, what's this base on? I'm following the instructor in the pace car. Like, who said I stunk at this? And I literally just followed my instructor. And then it would slide back and follow the guy behind me.

[Allison Rosen]

But a lot of times, not to interrupt that can. Just because of where the betting is. Like, betting a lot on who jumped you. Brody Jenner and someone else. Could have been a lot of action on them.

[Adam Carolla]

Brody Jenner. Brody Jenner and Adrien Brody both jumped me. And you're right, could have been a lot of action. And also, as I was thinking about it, the pro. Things been going on for like 30 years, 35 years. It was an incredible amount of time. And I started thinking, I don't know if a comedian. There's been, you know, comedic actors, stuff like that. I don't know that a comedian has ever won this thing. Because comedians are notorious, as I say all the time, notoriously bad at everything except for comedy. Look, you know, the stuff's usually, you know who wins these things? Serious actors. Because they're the most intense. They prep and they're fucking like. Who wins these things? Tom Cruise. Because Tom Cruise takes it. Really? Jeff Ross does not win this thing.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Yeah, Tom Cruise bring the same psychotic intensity.

[Adam Carolla]

It's almost like the guy who looks best in his fire suit is the guy who's gonna win.

[Allison Rosen]

Well, how many comedian car guys out there are there? There's you and Tim Allen, Titus.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, but they usually throw in some chick who's a Comedian or some dudes, I don't know. But if you look at all three times, fool, if you look at all the winners of the last, like 30 years, I don't know that you will see a comedian in the group, but either way. So now we do practice. On the weekend. We have practice early, like 11 in the morning, and then at 3 or 4 o' clock, we're gonna have qualifying. And this is where you get the $15,000 check presented by People magazine to your charity for the poll position, fastest lap time and blah, blah, blah. But after the practice session, it's raining buckets and they just. The tracks flooded, so they cancel. They cancel the qualifying. So how do you get the pole position if you can't? Well, they timed our practice laps even though no one was going at that position, you know, whatever, they just did it. And I was second. So that puts me up to the front of the grid. Who is number one?

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Kim Coates, I think.

[Adam Carolla]

Kim Coates from. He's an actor. You know him for the Patriots. Kim Coates, yeah. You know, really good guy. Remember the episode of Entourage? The guy who killed himself? It was like the AA guy who was the producer who killed himself. Like he wanted to make that movie. And then it's like I'm mixing up Sopranos. This is the last season. Oh, very last season. Good season, Sons of Anarchy. Anyway, good guy, guy. He's on the pole. I'm next to him. And because things have been screwed up, Jerry's behind me, and there's a few other. There's a few other guys that are up there. And pole position is Westland strip club name, by the way. And we. So we're all up there and I have really. He gets the thing. I don't know what the hell to do. And. Well, then the race begins and there's a lot of. Of, as usual, a lot of chaos. And here's the thing. I realize, you know, I tell people all the time, kind of weird. I said to. It was funny because there was a little controversy, as there is every year. I said to everybody before the race, because there's a certain point you have to time the start. If you don't do the start right, they make you go around again. You have to. They do a rolling start. Now, the way you do the start on a rolling start is the guy who's on the pole position. He sets the pace. Everyone else is stacked up two by two behind him. So he's to the left because the first turn is a left turn. So that's pole position. He has the inside for the first turn. I'm next to him, and we're right next to each other. And there's a pace car that's on the track in front of us. When the pace car pulls off, it's now up to us to set a reasonable pace. If he starts taking off, whoever's throwing the green flag is not throwing the green flag. They'll let you go around. They'll tell you, go around again. He has to keep it at a slow and steady pace. I have to look at him and not get in front of him and keep him. Everybody has to get queued up and rolling. It's like. It's like somebody says, look, I will start this race when all of you guys are lined up neatly. There's 18 cars, or however many 12 cars in the first group. You need to be two next to each other all the way back going the same speed. Once you guys do that, I'll throw the green. If I see anyone jump or anyone start picking up the pace and have someone behind getting left behind or something, no green, you'll go around again. So it's sort of an honor system. Everyone play nice. Nobody jump anything. Play clean. You'll get a green flag, you'll get a start, and once the green drops, it's on. So that's how they started. Says to me, look, I'll keep it. And I said to him, second gear, 3,500 rpm, 4,000 rpm. It'll give you somewhere to go. Because there's nothing worse than having to shift. It's so loud at the beginning, you don't realize you should be shifting. Blah, blah, blah, adrenaline, all that kind of stuff. So we sort of worked it out and we'll set the pace. And I told him I'd stay on him. And then the instructors leave and they just go. All the drivers, you all just stand in the road. And I just said, look, everybody, for the love of Christ. If you see an opening and it's the first or second lap, if you see that opening, it's going to be there in the third, fourth, and fifth lap. Like, if you see. You'll see. When you race, there'll be a guy. It's like boxing. You'll see the guy's dragging his right or he's not quite. You'll see that opening, and you'll see it on the racetrack. You'll go, this corner, that corner, and that corner that guy takes really well. But this one corner, he takes it a Little wide, and I think I can catch him on that corner. So I said to everybody, take a lap, because you all have to queue up and go single file through the first turn. You're going from 100 miles an hour, 110 miles an hour, down to, like 50 on the first turn. And everyone's got to line it up. And if someone goes balls out, you're going to take out five people on the first turn. And as the great racers always say, never. There's racing adages that are always. They're totally fucked out, but they're also good. Like, you know, Dan Gurney said, never, never won a race on the first turn, but I've lost a lot of races on the first turn. So it's like, just get. Let's get through. Let's get. Let's get a lap. Let's get queued up, and then we'll start racing. And I said, look, everyone, when you see that opening good, it'll be there next lap. Use it next lap, but don't dive in on the first or second lap and fuck somebody up. Eddie Cibrian dove in on me at the end of the first trail. We didn't get a quarter lap, the motherfucker thing. And I was funny because I was talking to Lynette about this, and she said, well, why didn't he listen to you? And I said, why doesn't anyone listen to me? I have no fucking idea. All I do is talk. And then I realized you can't stop some people from doing those things. You just can't stop them. And I said, this is the dude equivalent to. It's like these. The Eddie Cibrian, nicest guy in the world. Adrian Brody, nicest guy in the world. But when they get on the track, look out. And I said, it's kind of the dude equivalent to the chick who told my sister I called my nephews Nazis. Like, there's nothing in it for them. It's just. They can't fucking help themselves. It's almost a flaw. It's like, they're not bad people, but they just can't. They can't help it once that red mist comes over their eyes and the adrenaline's going. So, anyway, I'll show you the front of the race. I'll show you the green flag dropping, and you can see Eddie Cibrian dive in. Later on, he dove in. This is all right, so go back. Sorry, go back to the front. But if you look. If you look to the upper right, you'll see where we're looking for the green flag. The green flag. 65,000 people at this place was awesome and a beautiful day. So that's Coats to my left. He's a little bit ahead of me. He's setting the pace. And we're looking. You can run it. We're looking for the green flag. There it is. There it is. Right, so now there's the green flag. And that's Shoreline Drive going down the back straight, by the way, PF Changs off the left. Passed it. Right. Did you stop now? I was thinking about stopping, but they don't have a drive through.

[Allison Rosen]

Good dumplings.

[Adam Carolla]

So fifth gear. There's Coats. Now he has the inside, and I. There goes Cibria. That was the first turn, the very first turn of the race. Now I could have turned in on him and then we would have crashed. This is basically the fountain. And you'll see the way they run the track is you have to cut it off. You go over that, those humps. These are rumble strips. Turn to the right here. Turn it up a little. So now at this point, your adrenaline is just fucking pumping out of your chest because it's really. Because of the 65,000 people that are at the place. They're screaming and there's a Jumbotron and there's an announcer yelling your name. And see if I.

[Allison Rosen]

You know what messes me up right now, just visually, is the paint on the road is still there from the streets. And it doesn't always go where you're supposed to go.

[Adam Carolla]

No. And the. Like I said, there's so cement everywhere right when you. Right when you get off the track, just overtook. Yeah. Now you're supposed to bring it all the way out to the edge, but the edge is cement. So. Yeah, and I got Eddie. I got Eddie Cibrian back for what he did to me. And then Coates fucks up this. He fucks up this hairpin, and now it's back to. Back to Shoreline Drive and back through the streets again. So I ran in. I was in third for a little bit, and then I was running in second for a while. And at this point, At this point, probably doing about 110. And then it's fifth and then it's fourth, and then it's into the left hand turn and over the. You feel yourself like. And that's all cement. All. All those walls are cement. That's why everyone ruins their fucking cars, because they always get in. And so nice topiaries right there.

[Allison Rosen]

Anyone go through that?

[Adam Carolla]

Nice? Oh, yeah. Last. The last year I Did it. Somebody, one of the pros just drove right through the topiary. And again, you want to. You want to clip this now you see coats. I'm up his ass now. And once you start driving in your mirrors, it fucks you up because you start looking in the mirrors and you stop looking at your breaking points and you start missing your apexes on your corners. And you're not. Once you get up in your mirrors, it fucks you up. We'll watch this until I take over first place.

[Allison Rosen]

Are you pleased with how things are going right now?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Cause right now I'm like, I'm in second place. We're two and a half or two laps in. We got a 10 lap race. I'm gonna hang out here and I'll let him make a mistake. Cause he will make a mistake. He's gonna miss a shot shift. He's going to be over driving it. He's going to be up in the mirrors. And I'm literally three or four feet away from him at this point. And I'll drive up his ass until he. He will up. And I think you'll see him this corner up a little. See he up a gear there. And then he missed that corner. And a lot of people. There's 65,000 people there. It's insane. And I'm just gonna. I'm just gonna stay in his rear view until he. Up, up. That's the best way, by the way. Whether it's just during your commute or you're out doing a celebrity race or a vintage race. Just stay up someone's ass until they fuck up. They will fuck up. You don't have to. This is me taking over.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

There we go.

[Adam Carolla]

Right? All right. So now I'm in the lead. And so now it's like. So now we have this. I have this problem. Not a big problem, but I'm in the lead. And there's about six and a half laps there left. And I got my kids there and Lynette's there And everyone's there. Dr. Bruce. Everyone's there. Okay, so now I'm thinking, okay, just drive your race. Just drive your race and start putting a little space between you and second place. And sure enough, I do start driving my race. And I have enough experience where I'm like hitting my apexes and my turn. I'm not driving. The more noise you're making, the worse you're driving. And I'm calm. And you can see [e-mail] if you like. And I'm Sort of driving my race. And at a certain point I look up in my rear view and no one's within striking distance. And when I say striking distance, what I mean is when you get to that hairpin at the very end of shoreline, if someone is tapping 10, 15, 25ft behind you, they'll just dive inside and take your ass out, as I've said many times. But if they're 80, 90ft behind you, they can't do it. If you can keep this buffer of 75, 90ft, if you can keep five, eight car lengths, they can't jump you. They can't dive in, they can't do it. So we get about four laps in. Five laps in, I'm in first place. I'm driving well, I'm driving smooth.

[Allison Rosen]

How many laps total?

[Adam Carolla]

10. And I'm looking in my rear view and I think, think, okay, well, I got a good five, eight car lengths. I'm in first place, I'm driving well, it's a beautiful day and there's no water or anything on the track. And now I'm just going to keep this buffer and I'm going to take this fucking one home. But there's something I didn't count on, and the thing I didn't count on is Eddie Cibrian dove in badly on Brody, wrecked Brody's car badly, and now I got a waving yellow flag. And waving yellow flag means slow down, slow it down, coming up on a wreck. So of course, when I slow it down, whoever I've built up my hundred

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

foot lead on, yeah, it slows down

[Adam Carolla]

less, they get right up onto you again. So you can go back here for a second.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

And that was Hill harbor, right?

[Adam Carolla]

No, that came later. This is the yellow flag. And I think Kim Coates may even go past me here. So now this is what I'm seeing. I'm seeing a waving yellow flag. That's Kim Coates going past me. That's the yellow flag. And that's them pointing at him going, go back. You don't pass him. But I had a nice. That's to the right, that's to the right. That's Brody Jenner smashed against the wall. Oh, by the way, it's always a bad wreck. If you see him on the right, he started off on the left. You see the left. If you look at the left front of his car, that's totally fucked up. He didn't start on the right. He hit the left wall so hard that he actually slid all the way across it to the right wall. And that's where he rested. So now I've got my lead built up, except for my lead has been erased because I'm getting the yellow flag. And then also, I don't know what to do with the yellow flag because I'm not sure when it's on and when it's off and on again. Like, okay, waving. Waving yellow flag means slow down. When do we start racing again? We have a full. Do we have a full course? Well, of course the guy behind me figures out it's on before I figure out it's on.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

How, though? What is. Is there a signal?

[Adam Carolla]

The signal is a. When you're the guy in the lead, you're sort of. You're the guy who has to make the call. When you're the guy who's in second, you're like, fuck it. I'm going, yeah. And number one. Number two, if you pass a couple of flag stations and they're not waving anything, then it's all on, except you

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

don't have a different flag. If I were in charge, I'd make there to be a race back on flag.

[Adam Carolla]

You don't know where those flag stations are because you don't see them unless they're waving something. So I passed by Brody Jenner's wrecked car, and then I was like, I don't know. What's. Are we on? Are we off? Are we on or off? And next thing I know, Kim Coates is pulling next to me on the straightaway, and he's on. And that's when I went back on again. At a certain point, he got funked up by, I think he dove in on Hill Harper. And it was the funniest thing with Hill Harper. Hill Harper. Oh, here it is. You can show it again. Sorry, Funny thing. And I'll tell you, Hill, you can watch what happens. Coach jumps in. Here's the hairpin. He jumps in on Hill Harp. And then Adrien Brody, like, whacks into him. And then now you got coats. If you see his car at the very end of the hairpin, just literally nose against the wall and sticking out, which is good for me because now no one can dive in around that corner. I got to go around every time. But there's a car parked in the middle of the track, and then there's two cars, and there's Brody's cars on one side, and his car's down on the other side. The thing that's funny about Hill Harbor Harper, he's from CSI or something. Nice guy. And he's, like, mid Pack, dude, you know, and the reality is, good time on this track is about a minute 47, minute 48, minute 49. If you're fast, you're doing this track in a minute 48 to a minute 49. If you're a minute 50, minute 51, you're way off. You're way off the pace, and you're nowhere close. So if you and I, if we're going to race at Long beach, and I go, allison, would you do. Would you do your. Would you do your timed lap at. Or would you do your qualifying lap at eight minutes? And you're like, I did mine in 148.5 or 149. I'd be like, oh, okay, because this is going to be close. And then if I turn to Brian and he said, I did mine in 151, I'd be like, all right, I'll see you at the party. Because that two seconds a lap, huge. The two seconds lap is going to be. I'm going to put 150 yards between me and you on each and every lap, and I don't have to worry about you. Hill Harper was in that group, in 52 group. And as a matter of fact, son of a bitch. He says to me at the kids hospital, he says to me, what do I gotta do to get a couple seconds off my lap? And I'm looking at him and I realize, oh, you don't. I remember thinking, oh, you're mid pack guy. You're not up front. You're not with the Brodies and me and the rest. Kim Coates. You're not with any of these guys. The Brodies? Yeah. You're not one of the Brodies. You're not one of the Brodies. And so I remember just looking at him and I said, you want to know how to get a couple seconds off this? Because I just talked to my buddy Tanner Faust, who kicked ass here a couple years ago with me. I said, at the end of Shoreline and at the end of the other straightaway, break late. They got a lot of rubber laid down on the track from where the drifters go through. And people break too early, and you make up a ton of time, so the only place you're really going to make up time is at the end of each straightaway.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

And he said, that's so nice that you gave him tips. Or maybe is that how everyone is?

[Adam Carolla]

No, I had this thing, and I have a lot of these moments in my life where I think, should I. Should. Should you be helping this Is part of the strategy. I'm literally telling this guy, Hill Harper, don't worry, worry about break late, break late out, brake. The other guys, when you see them hit their brake lights, you stay on the gas for another three Mississippi, then you brake. You'll make it around the corner, you'll make up a ton of ground. Now I didn't know that 48 hours later this guy would be up my ass going down because he was mid pack but everyone, he was going good. And everyone kept crashing and smashing into each other. And we'll take a look at, you'll take a look at him actually hitting me and like lap seven, that's him up my ass, that's me in first or me hitting him. Now I'm swinging out to my. Put a little dent in his car there and eventually I will, I will block him when he goes to, goes inside on some of the things. But the guy I was at the hospital with giving the fucking tips to is now up my ass. So then he was up my ass for like the last, I don't know, four, four laps or something. The fucking victory lap is the greatest five minutes of my life. Forget everything, it was the greatest. Just going around, honking, fucking waving. I should also, oh my God, it's exciting. I swear to God, it's the fucking greatest thing ever. I should also tell you that the very beginning. And I think we have the tape of the chick. All right. I don't know where these people come from, but it's literally, it's like this. They take you in the back of this big tundra, they take you to, they take you to the streets, the Shoreline Drive. You get out, there's a chick with a fucking Takati bathing suit Holding a sign with your name on it. The grandstands are packed, it's cloudless sky. Leann Rimes is about to sing the Star spangled Banner and there's like a big stealth fighter that's flying overhead and you're just fucking crawling into this thing and the marine band is playing and it's like, holy shit. And at the last second and at this point you fucking adrenaline's going pretty good. Especially when you're up on the front because you're setting the pace and it's all it's going to be on. And like I said, Jumbotron 65,000 people, the adrenaline is going. And this blonde chick is always the same chick. It's the 50 year old blond chick sticks her head. Now the guy you see in the picture, he's My wrangler. Every car comes with a dude. That dude is going to help you buckle in. He's going to pull the pin on the fire bottle. He's going to. Once you get all buckled in and the door shut, he's going to ask you how you want your mirrors because you can't reach anything from ins inside the car. He'll adjust the mirrors, he'll get all the harnesses and get you all set and go. You're all ready to go. And he'll shut you in your car. So that's David. That's my wrangler. Big, big fan of the podcast. And then random chick. And by the way, when you're getting in your car, it's like everyone's like leaning in, hey, Adam, can we get a picture? Can we get. And it's like you're fucking up in your head. This chick. Let's see if we have the clip. Let's see if we have. Go get him, Adam. Appreciate it. Who are the people. Let me ask you this. It's usually cute, but who are the people who come around you moments before you do something and go, are you freaked out? Are you scared? I'd be scared. Are you scared? I'm scared.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Are you scared?

[Adam Carolla]

I'm nervous. You'd be nervous. Am I nervous?

[Michael Anthony]

If I were you, I'd be freaking out.

[Adam Carolla]

What is that? Is there no decorum whatsoever? Yeah, my uncle died in a race. Celebrity race, actually. Adam, you're very funny and good. Thank you. It's just, she's just like, literally like, are you scared? Yeah. I don't want to be here right now. Shut the fuck up, bitch. Who are. I know people wear their shit on their sleeve like they do the. That's my mom's greatest compliment is I saw you on Letterman. You didn't seem nervous because she would be nervous if she was on Letterman. So the highest compliment you can get from my mom was not nervous. Sure. It's the greatest fucking. The greatest gift a mother can give a son.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

One wrangler who adjusts your mirrors and one wrangler who keeps people like her away from you right before the race.

[Adam Carolla]

Don't know who the 50 year old chick with the fucking camera phone. It just, she's standing around. It's not like, you know, she's got a Pirelli windbreaker on or anything. She just fucking sits standing around the track. I'm trying to get fucking buckled in and she's got a lean and want to know if I'm scared. You got to see the very top of that one more time, because you need to leave. We need a little more head on that thing, Jeff. See? Go get him, Adam. Appreciate it. Who are the people? Okay. You know what I'm saying? Like, everyone just fucking hanging their head in your car, taking pictures and shit. When you're trying to get your. There's nothing.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

I'm surprised they allow that. Maybe they can't control it.

[Adam Carolla]

It's so weird. But when you have that thing where it's like, all right, I'm trying to get my head right. Like, I don't want to go into that first turn and miss a shift and bury this car. I don't let anyone talk to me

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

three days before a live show.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right. Me neither. Are you scared? Are you scared? Oh, that's right. I have my checklist. Shit. Sunglasses. Fuck. Driving gloves.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Spf.

[Adam Carolla]

Spf. Scared shitless to drive. Yes. I forgot about that cunt. I forgot. I. I mean, look, there's a couple scenarios here. Either. I mean, it's A or B, either. Yes, I am scared. Thank you.

[Michael Anthony]

Oh, you know what?

[Adam Carolla]

I forgot about my paralyzing fear for just one moment. I'm so glad you reintroduced that into my skull. Or I'm not scared, but now I'm thinking about it, then all I get is angry. No, I'm not scared. I'm fucking pissed. I wonder how the fuck you got your fat ass out on this racetrack and why are you sticking your head in my car. Ask me if I'm scared before the show. And listen, I know I sound like a dick, but. And people go, look, people are nervous. They don't. Then just fuck your lean. Lean your head in and go, hey, go get them. This is her, though.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Okay? You be you with the. What is the. Okay, Are you scared?

[Adam Carolla]

What is people? Why are these people? That's right.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

I don't think she realized you were talking about her.

[Adam Carolla]

I talk about dumb people in front of them, and it's really. They're like pets. You say what you will, you know, me and Lynette have a nice conversation about Molly's cancerous ear right in front of fucking Molly. It's awesome. We don't have to go in the other room and speak Hungarian like my grandparents. It's awesome. Macaroni and cheese. Are you scared? Thanks, sweetie. That's just what I needed for macaroni and cheese. Fucking buckle up, all right? Maybe we'll get the victory lamp in here somewhere at some point.

[Allison Rosen]

Did you realize you'd. This may be a stupid Question. Did you realize you had won as soon as you crossed the finish line? Or was there something like.

[Adam Carolla]

I did. I did because they. Because they'll give you the lap countdown from 10 down to zero. And then I saw the checker. I got the checker. And then. Oh, the fucking big bottle of champagne in the back of the truck, and everyone's honking their horn.

[Allison Rosen]

You do milk, or is that like a NASCAR thing?

[Adam Carolla]

Only NASCAR only. I'll tell you what you shouldn't be scared of, man grate. 100% cast iron. 100% made in America. That's right. Steakhouse quality grilling right in your own backyard. You know what? Forget about your backyard. Go out front, show off a little.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

That's right. This is for front yard grilling.

[Adam Carolla]

This is front yard grill. No, no, Dog run. No, this is front yard. And, you know, at front deck, I'll accept as well. But you go out, let the neighbors, let them know you've arrived with your

[Allison Rosen]

man grate grill where they can see you.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

So it's driveway grilling.

[Adam Carolla]

Yep. No, no, no. Believe me, there'll be no hot dog in it out there. Pardon the pun, because they don't have flare ups. It does not allow for flare ups so the meat doesn't get dried out and charred. No more dry meat. 20 bucks, by the way, gets you the man grate. Click through the mangrate banner at adamcarolla. Plus you get these special Adam Carolla show branded. It's branded into the grilling brush. 20 bucks, man. Great, everybody.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

You couldn't even take it off the grill brush if you wanted to. Which you never would want to.

[Adam Carolla]

No, no. So anyway, I got to tell you, winning that motherfucking thing was the greatest. Greatest fucking thing ever. And was having a.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Did you get a big trophy?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Get a big crystal. We'll find a picture of it. But get it in here. I couldn't take it with me. It was like it was too big. And we had to get in a Tundra truck and. What?

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Oh, yeah, there's a large, clear thing you're holding.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Big, heavy, substantial, whatever. And that's me and Les Unger and Frederick, who's the drifter from the pro side of the thing. And that's all of us having fun up there. But see [e-mail], if you're like, best goddamn thing ever. And it was funny because I was just talking to Lynette before, and I said, God damn, it feels fucking good to win that race. And there's another fun picture, and she was complaining about wuzzy and you're the coolest and just be the coolest and all that kind of stuff. And I just said, that's the thing. If everyone gets to get in the tundra and do the victory lap, then it means nothing. If everyone gets to go up on the thing, it means nothing. It's the. It's. The world is the exact opposite of that fucking everybody special. Everybody sit back. No, everybody bust your ass. And even if you bust your ass, you'll be lucky. It takes a certain amount of retards. It takes a certain amount of luck. Even if you bust your ass but sit around and you'll be the coolest. No, the only reason this feels good is because there were 18 other people that wanted it just as bad. And that's the reason it's good.

[Allison Rosen]

You have to wear special pants and

[Adam Carolla]

you get to wear a special outfit. Yeah, yeah.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Now, who are you most happy that you beat of all those people?

[Adam Carolla]

Well, you know, the controversy was that Brody Jenner was pretty pissed at Eddie Cibrian, who took him out. And Eddie did not show up at the of the day end dinner, the pretty much mandatory dinner that everyone goes to that night. And that's very rare that someone does not go to that dinner. And that probably means that there's a reason why he didn't show up. You know, it was my second race with Adrian Brody. He's really fast. And that was a guy I probably enjoyed beating the most out of it because he got past me on the first one on the yellow. Adrian's a real cool guy. Talked to him and hung out with him and his mom and his dad, by the way, only child. Surprise, surprise.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

His mom works or worked for the Village Voice.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, She's a photographer. Yeah. So she. She came out and I liked everyone I hung out with. It's not really like you want to beat this guy, you want to beat that guy. It's sort of. There's going to be five or six guys, you know, they're going to be fast and it's going to be sort of luck of the draw who gets it in that end out of that. Five or six dudes, but fun and. And it's cool because I get to come back next year as a pro. Yeah, it's mandatory. Have to.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Nice.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, that's pretty.

[Allison Rosen]

It's out of my hands.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it's out of my hands. All right. Daniel Pine, who wrote a lot of cool movies, by the way. Any given Sunday Mammy Vice. But Fracture, one of the movies he wrote that I really enjoyed the hell of. I love a thriller. It was about 2 years old. Let's figure that out. Anyway, new show, Alcatraz writer, executive producer, along with J.J. abrams. Bring Daniel in next.

[Michael Anthony]

Pluto TV has thousands of free movies and TV shows.

[Adam Carolla]

We're coming at you with everything we got. This is the mindset. Free. This is the mantra. With movies like Pineapple Express, the entire Star Trek film franchise and Gladiator, and TV shows like Survivor, SpongeBob SquarePants, the

[Michael Anthony]

Fairly Odd Parents and Ghosts.

[Adam Carolla]

Pluto TV is always free. Pluto TV stream now pay never. Yeah, Back with Daniel Pine. Well, that calls himself Dan. Can we call you Dan?

[Daniel Pyne]

You can call me Dan.

[Adam Carolla]

Alcatraz, name of his TV show book. A hole in the ground owned by a liar. Out as we speak.

[Daniel Pyne]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

Good. All right. I just want to make sure it was out. I don't follow these.

[Daniel Pyne]

Okay, that's. Yeah, that's good.

[Adam Carolla]

Closely. You can get it on. Get it out Amazon if you like,

[Daniel Pyne]

or your independent bookstore.

[Adam Carolla]

Or your independent bookstore. But if you go to Amy, do the Amazon, click through our website. Show us a little love. That's all I'm saying.

[Daniel Pyne]

There you go.

[Adam Carolla]

And Fracture. What year was fracture?

[Daniel Pyne]

Oh, 2007.

[Adam Carolla]

See how long it's been?

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Definitely just a couple years.

[Daniel Pyne]

Just the other day.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, Brian, minus the brain tumor is pretty good with these things.

[Allison Rosen]

I thought it was like a year and a half old to see Summers ago.

[Daniel Pyne]

Yeah, it's timeless.

[Adam Carolla]

Sir Anthony Hopkins. That is. That's a well written movie.

[Daniel Pyne]

Thank you.

[Adam Carolla]

I really enjoyed that movie. I don't feel like it. I don't. It was well reviewed, too. I went and saw it at the theater, but I don't. I feel like it sort of slipped away or didn't get played enough on cable or something.

[Daniel Pyne]

It kind of slid through. I. Nobody knows why. I mean, it depends on when they come out. I think it came out around this time of year in April. And sometimes. Sometimes thrillers get lost.

[Adam Carolla]

That's Ryan Gosling, right?

[Daniel Pyne]

Ryan Gosling, Anthony Hopkins.

[Adam Carolla]

It's really good. Really? It was just a. And it was just one of those. It was one of those movies that had a bunch of twists and turns to it, and Hopkins probably could or should have been nominated for his role. He was very good. Really.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

I'm gonna go watch it tonight. Is it gonna give me nightmares?

[Daniel Pyne]

No.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Okay.

[Daniel Pyne]

No, it does. It's done really well. The dvd.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it's just done. I don't know if you're Married Dan. But did your wife.

[Daniel Pyne]

I am.

[Adam Carolla]

What'd she think of this storyline? Because it is about a guy who shoots his wife and basically tells Ryan Gosling to go prove it and just gets up in his head. I mean it's just really smart. Just really well done.

[Daniel Pyne]

Yeah. The whole idea was to do a psychological law thriller. Kill the wife, killed, get away with it.

[Adam Carolla]

How much research do you have to do for something like that? Or what is your background that would attract you to it?

[Daniel Pyne]

I have always been interested in wife killing. Wife killing in the law. But sort of from a Kafka point of view, like the trial. Is that the dessert? And I've done.

[Adam Carolla]

I've done TV shows kind of thing. More of a Kafka.

[Daniel Pyne]

More of a. More of a Kafka as opposed to. I had done a lot of TV shows that were law shows and I knew a prosecutor here in Los Angeles who has since become a judge. And she and I were talking about the perfect crime. The chick judge.

[Adam Carolla]

A chick judge.

[Allison Rosen]

That's your next screenplay, buddy.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Daniel Pyne]

You don't want to get judge.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh no, wait a minute. Eddie Murphy dresses up like a sassy black, heavyset woman to judge. Uh huh.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

They're an idea factory.

[Adam Carolla]

Mama judge. All right. Sorry. Yeah, it's good. Write that down.

[Daniel Pyne]

She's beautiful. She's blonde. You'd like her.

[Adam Carolla]

Really?

[Daniel Pyne]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow.

[Daniel Pyne]

And what happened?

[Adam Carolla]

Fat in high school?

[Daniel Pyne]

Always. And yeah. Dating basketball players.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Not even a bunch of acne years.

[Daniel Pyne]

No, I don't think so. Not this girl.

[Adam Carolla]

Molested. So sad.

[Daniel Pyne]

So she was. She and I were talking about foreigners.

[Adam Carolla]

Is she out of the country? No, just hot and blonde and.

[Daniel Pyne]

Yeah, there you go.

[Adam Carolla]

Sexual abuse.

[Daniel Pyne]

Do not go in front of her though. Do not commit.

[Adam Carolla]

No, no, no, I get it. I got you.

[Daniel Pyne]

So we were talking about how to commit a perfect crime, how to get away with a crime. And she was talking about how in the prosecutor's office, the thing that people like the least is to prosecute someone who defends themselves because so many things can go wrong. So it just seemed like a natural way to start a story.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I mean, look at that. Look at that guy. Shot up the subway, he. Oh, no, wait a minute. That didn't work out that way.

[Daniel Pyne]

Well, and they just do crazy things. They just.

[Adam Carolla]

I like when they put themselves on the stand and then talk to themselves. Yeah. Yeah, that's awesome. The hell was that? Long island shit?

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah, I've never heard of defending yourself going well. So I'm really surprised to hear that. I've Never ever heard of it going,

[Daniel Pyne]

well, it never goes.

[Adam Carolla]

It's a pain in the ass.

[Daniel Pyne]

Yeah, it's a pain for the prosecutor because a hundred things can go wrong and the judge doesn't. Tends to err on the side of the defendant more because they don't know anything about the law. And they want to make sure they don't get reversed. And it's just a pain.

[Adam Carolla]

What about. And it always bothered me when they do the thing where the wife drowns in the bathtub. Cause she's narcoleptic and she falls asleep everywhere. And she just fell asleep and she drowned in the tub. And the guy swears he was downstairs watching the Packer game. And he just went upstairs after the game and found her lifeless corpse in the tub. And they go, all right, so that's his story. His story is, I was downstairs watching a game and I went upstairs and she was in the tub. All right, so that's what happened, according to him. And then they do that thing where the lawyer chooses not to put him on the stand. And to me it's always like, what's he gonna do if that's really his story? Like, as a juror, you choosing not to put him on the stand means he's guilty to me. And, like, they'll go, well, he's not good on the stand, but I don't care if he's good or bad. He was either fucking downstairs watching the game or he wasn't. There's no part where he's gonna scream out, I killed her.

[Michael Anthony]

Right?

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Oh, they'll never put him on the stand. He'll never be on the stand. And everyone just nods and they all understand that. What is that?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, what is that? If your guy.

[Daniel Pyne]

I wish I could explain.

[Adam Carolla]

If you guys didn't do anything, wouldn't you just go. Go on the fucking stand and say whatever the fuck you want. You didn't do anything.

[Daniel Pyne]

It has to do with the vagaries of the legal system. I mean, it has to do with the fact that you go, now I'm getting hungry. It's about stories. It's no coincidence that so many movies and television are about the law. Because it's about making up stories. So you make up the story of what happened, and the prosecution makes up a different story of what happened. And the jury decides which is true. So even though you're on the stand and you're telling the truth, as far as the jury knows, you're telling a story.

[Adam Carolla]

And the jury fucks up all the time. And why shouldn't they? People are dumb in general and especially jury people. Guys named Terrence what the fuck Was the Long Island.

[Daniel Pyne]

The guy who shot people up on the subway.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, the Long Island Expressway where Bernard Getz. No, no, not Bernard Getz.

[Allison Rosen]

Not Bernie Getz.

[Adam Carolla]

No, that was a vigilante guy. The black guy who defended himself. Oh, come on. This is.

[Allison Rosen]

Sounds hilarious, though.

[Daniel Pyne]

Yeah, there was probably a movie about it.

[Allison Rosen]

Martin Lawrence vehicle.

[Adam Carolla]

You guys don't know. He shot everyone up on the Long island Expressway like, 12, 15 years ago. And then he defended himself in court, and it was all, sniper.

[Daniel Pyne]

No, no, no, I know what you're talking about.

[Adam Carolla]

No, you know, it was the only good thing that came from that whole sniper thing. I was doing Howard Stern during that period. And at a certain point, Robin said, what do people tell their children? What do you tell your kid? Because these people are just being shot randomly. When you punch in. Long Island Expressway. Sh. Shooter. Do you not just get one guy who comes up, or is there a whole bunch of them? Colin Ferguson. There we go. Sorry. There you go. He defended himself. So they said, now, what do you tell your kids when people are just being randomly shot on the street, on overpasses and freeways and stuff, like, for no reason? There's nothing. It's not any gang affiliation. What do you tell your kids? And I said, robin, you tell them the only kids that get shot are the kids that don't clean their rooms.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

I said, let's make lemonade.

[Adam Carolla]

Let's make lemonade out of this. Number one. Look, statistically, your kid's not gonna get shot, but you can empower him to think he's not gonna get shot by making his bed. So you get a clean room. As a parent, he. And his head gets a little something called peace of mind instead of a bullet. It's fucking great parenting.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Yeah, it's awesome parenting, you know?

[Adam Carolla]

Think about it.

[Daniel Pyne]

I like it.

[Adam Carolla]

Clean that room. Those are the little kids he doesn't shoot. He doesn't like people with a messy room. There you go. All right, let's see. We got some news. We got about a million and ten things to fucking get to here. Dan Alcatraz, by the way. Executive producer. You can watch full episodes on fox.com Alcatraz how's JJ Abrams treating you?

[Daniel Pyne]

He's great. He's great. He's so creative.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I could see. I'll buy that.

[Daniel Pyne]

He's a guy who calls you up at midnight and says, I have a great idea and blows everything up. And usually for the Better.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Now, when you get this call at midnight, are you thinking, oh, good. Are you thinking, oh, damn it, I should have left.

[Daniel Pyne]

Normally you, yeah, normally you would think, oh, when it happens, when the network does that, it's like. But when JJ does it, it's always kind of exciting because you never know what that he's going to push you toward.

[Adam Carolla]

Dan, I'm going to give you a J.J. abrams esque idea, all right? Simple, effective. And I think I only think about writing comedies, but the only thriller, not the only thriller, but the only sort of Twilight Zone esque idea involving murder and husbands and wives and fracture and all that kind of stuff that I've ever had. I had a long, long time ago where I had this idea of how do you kill your spouse and get away it? And just like in Father, everyone has this idea. Seems like I was 23, but I knew one day I'd be married and these thoughts would be coursing through my mind.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

You were romantic.

[Adam Carolla]

I fast forwarded to the present. So I said, how do you kill your spouse? And then I realized, killing your spouse, if they killed themselves, that'd be a good way for you to have them killed. Without you killing them, you'd never be on it. So I thought, well, how do you get them to kill themselves? And I said, here's what you do. You get in with a gypsy woman like the eagles sing about, and you get them in on it and you download them with all the information, the dog's name, their middle name, all this kind of stuff. You give them all the shit that nobody could know, but you give them to them in advance. And then you do that thing where you're driving home after dinner and you go, the palm reader, let's have some kicks. And you go in there and the palm reader who's already preloaded, she's front loaded with all this information, reads your wife or husband, work either way, but let's say just reads the husband's thing and he doesn't believe in any of it, but all of a sudden she starts laying down all this stuff and the guy's like, oh my God. And then at the end says, unfortunately, I see a very painful and tragic death. Soon, soon. And now the guy's completely freaked out and he thinks every time he crosses the street he's scared to go to an atm, he's going to get like. He completely becomes a obsessed with this. And then she starts telling them things are going to happen, clues are going to happen, and that spouse starts setting those things up. And now the person is going out of their mind and they literally go, I'm going to kill myself. Because I have to do it on my own terms. I can't take it. I don't know if I'm going to be hit by commuter train or every time I get in the car and start driving down the street, I'm freaked out that I'm going to get in a horrible car accident. So I'm going to kill myself. But then the person says, I love you too much, baby, and I'm going you to kill. Kill you first and then kill myself. That's my Twilight Zone esque ending on that. Tell J.J. about that one. You know what? Either I think you should just call him Jay. Like you know how Robert De Niro becomes Bobby De Niro? Marty Scorsese instead of Martin? You just go, Jay, you should remove one or add three.

[Daniel Pyne]

Jjj I think the JJ is a copy copyrighted thing.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, you gotta. You gotta do it. You gotta do it. Yeah, yeah. I think there's.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Say one quieter then I think there's

[Adam Carolla]

a way to get someone to kill themselves. If they were believed enough in the soothsaying shit and you made enough of that shit appear.

[Michael Anthony]

Yeah.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Because you could gaslight them.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

And read their bad fortune. But I think then you should get like a double crossing psychic. The other spouse should then be. Yeah, should be onto it somehow.

[Michael Anthony]

That's what I would do.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I like it. All right, cue up some news, baby girl, while I talk to people about big commerce. Big commerce. You got to start a business online. Or maybe you have a business, but you got to work it online, baby. You need some E commerce. What the hell year is it? 2000. When did fracture come?

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Big commerce year.

[Adam Carolla]

It's been five years since fracture came out. You want to get online, make some money. Do the math, man. Yeah, no technical skills required, by the way. And 247 customer service and support. You can start today for limited time offer 30 day free trial. They will build you a fully functional store. That's right. Go to bigcommerce.com they'll get you started. They'll get you started on whatever it is you're selling. They'll start the website, they'll get it all up and rolling for you. You just sit by the mailbox just waiting for those big fat. I don't like the checks. I go for cash. Big pillowcases of cash to come rolling in. E commerce, baby. Let's get with it.

[Allison Rosen]

You have an E business, but you only take Cash.

[Adam Carolla]

That's only take cash. That's right. And it's only delivered via carrier pigeon. BigCommerce. Go to bigcommerce.com, click on the radio icon on the homepage and enter my name, Adam. Bigcommerce.com. all right, Dan, we're doing news, baby. You jump in the news with Allison Rosen. She'll read some news from her.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

All right, Pat.

[Michael Anthony]

Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad.

[Adam Carolla]

It's Allison. Allison. And when it's time to wrap it

[Michael Anthony]

up, she'll sign it up with Zip it, cunt.

[Adam Carolla]

It's Allison. Allison.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

There's been an update to the Trayvon Martin story. George Zimmerman was charged last week with second degree murder. He's in protective custody in Florida. He has a new lawyer. A trial will follow.

[Adam Carolla]

Mm. Yeah. Yeah. You never want to be one of those. Make an example of your cases. That. That's. That's always the worst place you can be. Like, whatever. Whether you're student athlete and some student athlete just OD'd on cocaine and then you got caught with a bindle of cocaine or something, you never want to be that. All eyes are on you. Where they'll be. They'll be riding in the streets and mattresses burning and cotton. Cops turn. Cars turn. Not only cop cars turn. Cop horses turned over. They will turn over cop horses if this guy does not do some serious time.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Horses on fire on the side of the road.

[Adam Carolla]

Burning horses looting. Horses turning cop horses over. I'm just saying that is. And believe me, I hope this guy gets whatever he deserves. But as a lawyer, you can never want your guy to be or girl to be the. Oh, we're gonna make an example of pers. And all eyes on the nation are watching. And by the way, it's like if you're the jury, it's like you either give this guy the maximum, whatever, or people are gonna fucking take to the streets and do $10 billion worth of damage, and 10 other people are gonna die.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Well, there's not a jury in this case.

[Adam Carolla]

It's a judge. Well, then the judge.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Hope it's that hot blonde.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

A group of Secret Service agents and officers sent to Colombia ahead of President Barack Obama were placed on administrative leave amid allegations of misconduct that involved bringing pro back to the hotel where they were staying. It's true. Common horrors. The alleged misconduct overshadowed the start of the sixth Summit of the Americas, where the President was to focus on trade, energy, and regional security.

[Adam Carolla]

Don't you feel like almost everyone in Colombia is A prostitute.

[Daniel Pyne]

What are they thinking, though?

[Adam Carolla]

You know? I mean, the Price is Right. I feel like if I was living in Colombia, I'd be ready to party with just about anybody. But what.

[Daniel Pyne]

But what are they thinking? They're Secret Service agents.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

I think they're thinking, hey, when in Colombia.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, dude. Yeah.

[Michael Anthony]

But, no, I know.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

No, there's. Well, also, you have to realize these dudes have a lot of testosterone. And they're used to kind of operating a little bit above the law. Like, I think they can. They're used to. I mean, there's. Here's what's happening. It's happening on a very large scale, which is guys used to have jobs, and that job was cool. Like, if you were a cop or Secret Service or senator, you get your dick sucked. You get a little bribe money. It was like. It was all part of the perks. And then Caster. And then the dashboard cam came in, and now you can't fuck any. You can't fuck with anyone anymore. Like, but you got out, but you're not in that mindset. Like. Like the dashboard cameras there in life now. There's the computer, the Internet, the dashboard camera. But these guys still got the mindset from, like, 1985 where it's like, I'm gonna go up to that chick's window and I'll tell her, look, I could write you a ticket or you could give me a blowjob. That's why you got into being a policeman. That's what attracted you to the job. But now the dashboard camera's fucking you up, right?

[Daniel Pyne]

Apparently, one of these guys. Apparently, it started because one of these guys didn't want to pay, right?

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

And guess how much. 40. It was a dispute over $47.

[Adam Carolla]

It's a little something called principle, sweetheart. Not money.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

All right, all right. None of the agents or officers being investigated was part of the President's personal protective detail. Representative Peter King, chairman of the House Homeland Security Committee, said the issue isn't about any criminal allegations, but a dereliction of duty. It violates the Secret Service code of conduct. The Secret Service has a zero tolerance policy on personal misconduct. And five members of the US Military assigned to support the Secret Service may have also been involved.

[Adam Carolla]

I'd be great if I was the guy who got called in for getting the hookers. And actually, you be my CO My commanding officer and explain to me that

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

we have a zero, zero tolerance policy on personal misconduct.

[Allison Rosen]

As you know, Agent, we have a zero tolerance policy on personal misconduct.

[Adam Carolla]

All right. Well, if you have no Policy. We're in great shape. Cause we went out fucking whoring and drinking last night.

[Allison Rosen]

No, no, no. That's not what I'm saying at all.

[Adam Carolla]

You said you have no policy.

[Allison Rosen]

No, no, no, no. Don't put words in my mouth. I heard, first of all.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, look, five, 10 seconds ago you said you had zero policies on any conduct.

[Allison Rosen]

You would have heard it that way, right? Zero tolerance policy. Zero.

[Adam Carolla]

That's what I'm saying. None. So we went out whoring. We got fucking drunk on some mezcal tequila. Everyone's still fucking alive. And I don't know what we're doing. Wasting our time.

[Allison Rosen]

I feel like they're selectively hearing the words that I'm saying.

[Adam Carolla]

Look, if you had a policy and it was about whoring, then we would be having this conversation. But evidently you have zero policy.

[Allison Rosen]

All you're hearing is that we have zero policy.

[Adam Carolla]

I just said it. I didn't mean to say that. That's what I heard. You know what? This is over. You're wasting my time with your zero policies. I suggest you get some policies. And when you get policies and then I get busted for whoring, then you can call me in and we'll talk. This meeting is over. That's how I would handle it.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Solid defense.

[Adam Carolla]

I think it would work, don't you think? Worked on Brian. He didn't have any comeback.

[Allison Rosen]

Got me again.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

I know he out function. Thank you. I want to quickly say now I'm doubting earlier when I said that there wasn't going to be a jury in the Zimmerman case. Now I'm doubting that either way. I'm not sure about that, but anyway. Lorne Michaels has asked Mitt Romney if he wants to host Saturday Night Live, and Romney is said to be considering the offer. Since the 2000 election, nearly all presidential candidates have appeared on SNL, either live or on tape. But it hasn't been since Steve Forbes in 1996 that a candidate actually hosted, said longtime SNL writer Jim Downey. Romney was funny on Letterman giving the top 10 list, and we actually have that so we can judge his comedy chops.

[Adam Carolla]

Hold on a second.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Okay?

[Adam Carolla]

Those Secret Service guys, they're just killing time in Columbia, right? They're bored. Yeah, they're bored. Let him get some whores.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

I know that's what dudes. I doubt it really took them away from anything, but it's that it's a bad, bad press.

[Daniel Pyne]

You're right about the dashboard cam, though, because that is the difference is everything is instantaneously judged and available.

[Adam Carolla]

And are you telling me that Kennedy's fucking dudes.

[Michael Anthony]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

What would have happened when they go in front of him or before him to Cuba or something? That they weren't just. Or Kennedy or Kennedy himself, but these fucking guys were just fucking. They were just lousy with whores just knee deep and pussy and. And booze and God knows what the fuck else they were doing. Right. Because. Because they could. It's like membership had its privileges. See, it's not even worth getting the gig anymore because the gig used to be. Look, you get shot at and occasionally blown up, and you only get 60 grand a year, but you get to do whatever the fuck you want all the time.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

It's a secret service who's looking at them. They're the ones who are supposed to be spying on everyone. But if it were a movie and it began with them all packing their bags, I feel like you'd see them put a bunch of suntan lotion and condoms in their bag.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. So they tried to stiff one of the prostitutes.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Yeah, there was an argument. One of the prostitutes refused to leave until she was paid. And evidently it was about $47.

[Adam Carolla]

All right. All right. So Mitt's gonna do the top 10.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Yeah. This is from February 2011. It's a little outdated.

[Adam Carolla]

Mitt is short for MIT. You.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

There are things you don't know about Mitt Romney. Top ten.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, I miss you too.

[Michael Anthony]

Number nine.

[Adam Carolla]

I can't begin my day until I've read the Washington Post and Kim Kardashian's tweets. Yes. Number eight, I'm the guy in the photo that comes with your picture frame. That's right.

[Michael Anthony]

That's right. I.

[Adam Carolla]

Number seven. I spent six months in a Mexican prison for selling black market pillow pets. What? What? Number six. Do I smell as good as I look? No. Number five. In high school I was voted midiist. Me too.

[Michael Anthony]

Number four.

[Adam Carolla]

I got into politics for the piles and piles of paperwork. That's right. Number three, look for my best selling biography. They call me Baba Romney. Sure. Someone had explained that joke. Number two, I have absolutely no idea where my birth certificate is. That's right. And the number one thing you don't know about Mitt Romney. Oprah is my half sister. Yeah, there you go. It's just a waste of my time. That's my boy. I think that bought us a quick read. Musicians friend.com musiciansfriend.com tons of new and used guitars, drums, keyboards, mics, mixing boards. All half the stuff we got here for our New studio we got from musician friends and as I said, Chris Maxapata over there, he, He just went online, got the best deal he could, and this is where he found it. They weren't even sponsors. Good, good people save you money. They got starter guitars from 50 bucks, they go all the way up to one of a kind of guitars. 20 grand. Yeah, get the kids started. First he can do the El cabong with the $50 job and then go right up to the 20 grand one when he makes it. Big special deal for my listeners. An extra 10% off of, oh, I should say off on items over 149 bucks. So spend 150 bucks, you get an extra 10% off. Those are my listeners. You can give a call. 866-926-192 29. Podcast is the code. That's what's going to save you money, baby. Musicians friend.com. best prices on everything. Music guaranteed. Musicians friend.com and put in the code. Podcast. Thank you. All right, sorry. Where were we?

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Axl Rose kept his promise to boycott Saturday's Rock and Roll hall of Fame induction ceremony in Cleveland, a promise he made public in an open letter. But his former bandmates performed at the induction without him. Miles Kenned, Slash's side project, sang vocals. The lineup included bassist Duff McKagan, drummers Stephen Adler and Matt Sorum, and guitarist Gilby Clark.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, first off, we'll ask David Wilde about this, but who has left more money on the table than that band? I mean, it's gotta be the most frustrating thing in the world for the rest of the bandmates, cuz they're just going, Axel, just fucking get on your meds and let's go out and tour and make $70 million. And by the way, we've left $50 million on every year since 1994. Like, what the fuck are we doing? Come on, let's go. And what is he? I don't get what's the rift? Like, what is what was done? Like, I know all those guys, except for Axel, because he seems insane to me. But Slash and Duff and all those guys, Sorum the drummer and all those guys, they're just the coolest dudes in the world. Like, I don't know what, did they kill his pet? Like, what happened?

[Allison Rosen]

David probably verified this, but what I heard, I think is the story is he refused to go on stage with them for a big, big show unless they signed over all or a portion of the publishing rights, like a disproportionate amount to him. And so he controls A lot of that. Even though they get paid for the royalties. And I was thinking about the money left on the table thing. He said, you know what you never hear? You never hear Guns N Roses song in a commercial or a movie. Like, it's just never. You hear other bands stuff all the time.

[Adam Carolla]

Sure.

[Allison Rosen]

They must have left a lot of money on the table. People who would have paid big money for a movie or.

[Adam Carolla]

And I know they're all dying just to fucking get back.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

And yet he's still performing with the name Guns N Roses.

[Michael Anthony]

That's not them.

[Adam Carolla]

That was it.

[Allison Rosen]

He held out if they didn't sign over the name. I think that was it.

[Daniel Pyne]

What, he's performing with other people?

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. Can't they just go getting ducked into the Rock and Roll hall of Fame and just be with their fucking band? Like, I just don't get it. What is it? Why are you.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Rose's name drew choruses of boos and catcalls from the audience of about 7,400. But Green Day singer Billie Joe Armstrong, who delivered the Guns N Roses introduction speech, said, shut up. He was the greatest frontman to ever step in front of a microphone. He paused, then added, but he is crazy, and I can vouch for that. They performed. They performed Mr. Brownstone, Sweet Child of Mine and. Or, Sorry, Sweet Child o Mine, and Paradise City from Appetite for Destruction, which Armstrong called the greatest debut album in rock and roll history. And Chris Rock said something funny about Axl during his introductory speech for the Red Hot Chili Peppers, which was at about 1. He said, A lot of people are disappointed that Axl Rose isn't here, but let's face it, even if he was going to be here, he still wouldn't be here yet.

[Adam Carolla]

I mean, he's out of it.

[Allison Rosen]

No. Notoriously late.

[Adam Carolla]

I wouldn't be here yet. If he was going to be here, he wouldn't be here yet. At the end of the day. Okay, I got you.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

The hall of Fame also welcomed the Beastie Boys. Donovan, the small faces and Faces, Laura Nyro, ZZ Top, John Mellencamp, among others.

[Adam Carolla]

It's like some kind of horrible shit. All star lineup for me. I'd be miserable. Miserable.

[Daniel Pyne]

Maybe that's why he didn't want to come.

[Adam Carolla]

Let's go with that lineup one more time. Beastie Boys. Ugh.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Really?

[Adam Carolla]

Everybody loves the fucking Beastie Boys, but they kind of suck.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

I don't love the Red Hot Chili Peppers.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, they suck too.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Now. The early stuff sucks. That sounds cliche. But no more under the Bridge.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't There's. There's a band, there's.

[Allison Rosen]

There's a.

[Adam Carolla]

There's. There's three bands that everyone is universally loves that I never need to hear again. I don't need any U2 songs. I don't need any bucka bucka bucka buck bucka bucka bucka bucka bucka bugga bugga bugga bugga bugaba songs. I don't need that. Actually, it starts sounding like the theme from Super Chicken, which is actually a good song. I don't need Red Hot Chili Peppers and I sure as fuck don't need the Beastie Boys. I always say the Beastie Boys are what I would do if someone forced me to start a band. I just go, well, I can't play. I can't play an instrument. I can't sing. I can definitely. I can definitely pull some shit off some old jazz albums and we can. We can make up rhymes. I know it's more than that. Everyone loves the Beast Boys. I don't like any of their songs. I hate them. I hate the Beast Boys.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

I thought you would fit in the Beastie Boys.

[Adam Carolla]

I would, yeah. It'd be perfect because I don't sing and I don't play any instruments and I can't write songs. So I'd be welcome into the band. I might be the leader of the fucking Beastie Boys. Oh, we got the Super Chicken theme song. Now listen to the guitar work in this. It's the same of an name of love. When you find yourself in danger when you're threatened by a stranger when it looks like you will take a licking There is someone waiting who will hurry. I think the Edge must have seen this. He will drink his super sauce until the bag has for a loss and he will bring them in alive and kick him. I would love just to sit in on those recording studios and have the Edge. I come into the studio and Edge guy, hey, man, I got an awesome idea for a killer lick for our new song. And I go, let me guess. Buga bucka bucka bucka bucka bucka bucka bucka Buga bucka bucka buga bucka. And he'd go, well, yeah. How'd you know? Were the speakers on in the other room? And I go, yeah. That's until I knew it's all the fucking same song. What other shitty bands were in there that I hate?

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Donovan, the Small Faces.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, Donovan is like. Donovan is like, you know, hurdy Gurdy, you know, man, stuff. It's like Jennifer Juniper and stuff like oh, oh, he sung Season of the Witch. That's one of those horrible. Everyone in the late 60s, early 70s had to come out with a witch song.

[Daniel Pyne]

Season of the Witch and Mellow Yellow.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, and every. Like the Eagles had to do their witchy woman. And he had to do. By the way, when the band starts pitching a witch song, does it ever work out? Does everyone. That's what I would yell at the band. Oh, that's right. Because every time someone writes a song about a fucking witch, it's awesome. That's what I'm saying. If someone comes to you and says, I want to make a movie about a volcano, you just go, no, it never works. It never. There's been two. They've not worked thus far. You got a dragon movie. Unless it's anime or volcano, I don't want to fucking hear it. I don't fucking hear it. I don't want to hear another witch.

[Allison Rosen]

Next order of business. Adam, your negativity is really dragging the band down.

[Adam Carolla]

No more fucking witch songs.

[Allison Rosen]

We just want to write witch songs.

[Adam Carolla]

And Season of the Witch. Oh, please find me Season. I. He. Here's the thing. He should be thrown out for the song. So you got Donovan's. All right. Who else? Sorry.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Laura Nairo.

[Adam Carolla]

Don't know her.

[Daniel Pyne]

Laura Nero.

[Adam Carolla]

Nero. Oh, that's different.

[Daniel Pyne]

Old singer, songwriter.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

I've been wrong for a long time.

[Adam Carolla]

Wrote the theme to Tom Slick.

[Daniel Pyne]

That stopped everybody.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

ZZ Top. Some ZZ Top is okay.

[Adam Carolla]

ZZ Tops, like.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

But Some is not.

[Adam Carolla]

Heard it on the X or whatever their. Whatever song is. That's her best song, I think.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

But anyway, Sleeping Bag or Legs is their worst.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. All the. All songs have to do with legs. Hot Rod Stewart, Shaking of Faces and Hot Legs and all that's all bad.

[Michael Anthony]

They do a good song that deals

[Adam Carolla]

with legs called A Fool for Yourself. Stockings. Nice little bluesy slow number.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

John Mellencamp.

[Adam Carolla]

I grew up in a small town. I wish he'd fucking stayed that small town. I really do have to hear about his stupid fucking songs. Like Dates Models about tractors and big guys coming over and taking the deed to the farm. John Cougar, he's such. It's just. It's just dumb. It's dumb white guy music. It's for dumb people to feel good about themselves. Just listen to John Hight. Would you fucking people forget about John Mellencamp? He's all right. There's nothing wrong with him. But you don't ever need to hear another one of his songs. You just don't.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

He's been the soundtrack to my life. Okay. The world's newest Mensa member is a 4 year old girl from England. Heidi Hankins taught herself to read at 2 years old and has an IQ of 159.

[Adam Carolla]

That's what I keep telling my wife. If they're smart, it'll happen.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

That's the takeaway from this 159. Just one point below Albert Einstein or Stephen Hawking. Don't be a one upper. Like I said before, three years ago, a two and a half year old boy living just 35 miles away became the youngest MENSA member ever with an IQ of 160. According to Mensa, the signs of a gifted child include an unusual memory reading at an early age, intolerance of other children. Adam, you might have had that and

[Adam Carolla]

an awareness of world events.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

A gifted child will also ask questions all of the time, as will an ungifted child.

[Adam Carolla]

You know what that question is? Guess what my fucking IQ is, bitch. That's the question they asked mainly.

[Allison Rosen]

Do you know what my IQ is?

[Adam Carolla]

You know what it is? I know what yours is because mine's so goddamn high.

[Allison Rosen]

I know what yours isn't equal to.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right. That's right. Take yours, triple it, and then we'll see if we get to half of mine. Yeah.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are finally, finally engaged.

[Adam Carolla]

Awesome.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Jolie was photographed Wednesday wearing a large engagement ring designed by Robert Procope in collaboration with Brad Pitt. It's been a year.

[Adam Carolla]

And listen, you guys that get together with a jeweler and help design, design shit, fuck off. Because they're ruining us all look like assholes.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Here's the thing.

[Adam Carolla]

I was like, you know, I said to my wife, look, here's. Here's three grand. Go on the Internet, Knock yourself out. You know what I mean? And go through the Amazon banner.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

What did you really do? Did you choose the ring?

[Adam Carolla]

Well, what happened is. Here's what happened. My Lynette, like, we went out, she wanted like an antique ring or something, like an old whatever ring. And so it's like, all right, so she got like her antique, antique ring. And then at a certain point. So she got the ring. And then at a certain point, I don't know, a couple years later, she got her diamond replaced. I was like, what happened to the old diamond? It was worn out like cutting glass. What happened to it? She's like, it was old. It's getting yellow. It was so antique, I had to replace it. I'm like, fucking. First off, I've seen those De Beers commercials. Diamond that's forever, baby. Number one. Number two, you should have replaced a diamond. Like, yeah, so somehow I managed to pay for like a ring and a half or two rings. But that part where the guy starts getting those relationships never last. When they do the ones where we both have the ring and then we design a thing and then we put them together and we're like wonder twins and we activate. Shit, we're the size of an elephant. It doesn't work out, never works, and it just makes other guys look bad when you get involved.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Well, Brad had a specific vision for this ring which he realized over a year long collaboration. Brad was always heavily involved, overseeing every aspect of the creative design evolution.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, that's bullshit.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

The side diamonds are specially cut to encircle her finger. Each diamond is of the highest gem quality.

[Adam Carolla]

Aren't these guys.

[Daniel Pyne]

When does he have time to do that?

[Adam Carolla]

Well, you know, by the way, it's like, oh, he's an architect. He's telling guys, you know, I want to put a wing on this side of the house that go sick. And some gay guy comes in and does all the thinking. Number one. Number two, don't you guys make. Half your family was in a pit in Africa going after these diamonds like six months ago.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

What are you doing a statement with. Not with non blood diamonds or something?

[Adam Carolla]

No shit. This diamond industry is the worst. I mean, and I'm sure they've done. Somebody must have thought of this. But you shouldn't be. Here's the thing. It's like saying, hey man, I don't make cigarettes. I make those candy cigarettes with the powdered sugar in them. So it seems like kids can smoke, but I don't make cigarettes. I'm not a fucking animal. It's like, well, no, but you propagate this stuff. All right, so that's not a blood diamond, but it's still a diamond. And it then makes people want the blood diamonds. Like they look at your diamond and they go, oh, this one is not a blood diamond. But I can get one for cheaper. That is a blood diamond. So I'm going to go, go get that one. Like you are perpetuating whatever this is, whether yours is a blood diamond or not. Do you see what I'm saying?

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

I do, yeah. The couple have been dating for nearly seven years after meeting on the set of 2005's Mr. And Ms. I feel like they're rushing into it. After meeting on the set of 2005's Mr. And Mrs. Smith. They have six children together. Maddox, Pax, Sahara, Shiloh. And three year old twins, Knox and Vivian.

[Adam Carolla]

Hmm. Yeah, and lots of cool names.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

And according to Pitt's manager, this is a promise for the future and their kids are very happy. There's no date set at this time.

[Adam Carolla]

I need. Oh, boy.

[Daniel Pyne]

There's no date.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

No date. Yeah. By the way.

[Daniel Pyne]

Yeah. They've been together seven years. Yeah, they announced they're getting married, but there's no date.

[Adam Carolla]

Is she gonna make out with her brother at the wedding?

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

I should hope so.

[Adam Carolla]

Is her brother the creepiest dude alive?

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes, he is. He is creepy. He freaks me out, that guy.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

I feel like he looks just like her.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. No, it's weird though. And the kiss is weird.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Families are very close. It's not ours to judge.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't. I don't approve. I do not approve of what?

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Her brother.

[Adam Carolla]

Her brother. And. And if Brad were smart, he'd hire Drifter, put him in the ground. Because that guy's gonna, you know, he's moving in. You know, it's gonna be one of those things where Gerald wants to move into the wing. He says, you know what? And I think it's a good idea because it'd be a great idea to have somebody living under the tennis court keeping an eye on.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Shiloh really loves him.

[Adam Carolla]

Shiloh looks up to him and he's going, oh, fuck, I have this fruitcake moving in the fucking house. And he can't make any arguments about square footage. It's just so cramped. We don't have our privacy and all that kind of stuff. And there's some sort of temporary thing and he's got some. I don't know what the brother's name is, but he's got some sort of art installation he's working on. Christopher, as soon as he's done. Soon as he's done putting the pink Visqueen over the island of Guam, soon as he's done with that boy, he'll be able to move out of the house again. And it's like some sort of date that's never gonna. He's got a couple docs in the work. He's got a couple indie films, got some docs going on.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

He's bringing in his whole rock band.

[Adam Carolla]

He's gonna move in? Yeah. Oh, no, no. It's world music. Don't call it rock in front of him. He'll freak on you. Yeah, you gotta get rid of that guy. What are you gonna do with him? You think he talks to his dad?

[Allison Rosen]

Well, there is your plan of how to get rid of a spouse. What about a spouse?

[Adam Carolla]

The gypsy. Wait a minute. Witchy woman. Season of the witchy gypsy woman comes in. Yeah, find me Season of the witch. I gotta hear that song. I would like doing Duck Donovan and go, sorry, we have to take you out of the hall of fame now. We're gonna kick you out. We're going Pete Rose on your ass like Bill Parcells.

[Allison Rosen]

Oh, you came back. Now you gotta go back to the line.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right now.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

I think her brother's name might be James. I'm full of shit today.

[Adam Carolla]

This is such a fucking 60s. Looked out my window. I think Donovan was almost a career generation of the man.

[Daniel Pyne]

Was he an early Justin Bieber?

[Adam Carolla]

Well, one of those guys put it this way. If he was fat and his teeth were fucked up, if he looked like Christopher Cross. He's a great lyricist, though. You got to pick up every stitch because it's the season of the witch. You're gonna end up in a ditch.

[Michael Anthony]

Oh, no.

[Adam Carolla]

Must be the season. It's such a shitty song. It's such a bad 60s. I know. Those guys had crew cuts like, two years earlier. And I was like, yeah, put on this afghan and grow your sideburns out and learn to play this sitar. We're cashing in, baby. It is groovy. And by the way, we're all gonna get laid. It's gonna be awesome. Awesome. Drop some acid. Sing about the season of the witch. Ugh. God. Sucks. Where were we?

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Looking at this frightening photo of James Haven Voight.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

That's the brother.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. He's pretty, James. Yeah. I'll bet she's moving in.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

You know, he's not already there.

[Adam Carolla]

Let me just say, it's like. It's like you can be. You can be. You can be Ang. You'll be Angela, Lena, Angelina.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Okay.

[Adam Carolla]

You be on the phone with James, right? I'll be. I'll be Brad's inner. I'll be Brad staying next to you. And you'll be talking about how he's coming over this weekend.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Coming over this. Hey, so what time are you gonna come over?

[Adam Carolla]

Six?

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Yeah, I think that'll work.

[Adam Carolla]

Shit.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Yeah. Oh, you wanna stay for. Yeah, that's. Yeah. No, no, I mean, we definitely have space. Hey, honey, is that cool if James stays for a couple nights? Oh, it needs to be a couple. More than a couple. Oh, maybe like a week.

[Adam Carolla]

Ah, fuck. Why don't we. Shit. I'm going to Canada.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

No, that's fine.

[Adam Carolla]

Shooting.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

You might not be here for some of that time. But you can definitely. Yeah. If you want to have a few friends over, that's fine. I mean, the kids are really excited to see you. They're so excited.

[Adam Carolla]

Let me get my driver.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Shiloh wanted to know if you guys are gonna play tennis like you did last time.

[Adam Carolla]

Hey, Maddox, Gonna try a race board.

[Michael Anthony]

Oh good.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Yeah. Oh yeah, no, we have closet space. That's totally fine. We have like, we have the. We have a whole walk in closet that just has Brad's movie memorabilia in it right now.

[Adam Carolla]

So you can fucking ebay e fuckin bed.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

That's fine.

[Adam Carolla]

God damn it.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Oh, you want. You're specific about the kind of sheets.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Yeah, no, you will send someone out and we'll get those. That's fine. Oh, you're gluten free now.

[Michael Anthony]

No.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Yeah, I am too.

[Adam Carolla]

We're not.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

We've been thinking about going gluten free in the entire house.

[Adam Carolla]

No, a gluten free house. So fucking weird.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

And I just put on a lot of chapstick, so you know what?

[Adam Carolla]

That you can roll it up. Would ya? God damn it.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

I gotta go.

[Adam Carolla]

Brad cannot be fucking happy, right?

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

I doubt it.

[Adam Carolla]

I can't imagine he's gotta be fucking miserable. Right? The guy's getting miserable over the idea

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

of her brother moving in.

[Adam Carolla]

Just gotta be miserable about that guy.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Look, it'd be weird to be jealous of someone's brother.

[Adam Carolla]

Find out what he does. I'll guarantee there's something that involves art or documentary.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Yeah, my. My boyfriend went to film school with him.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh really? Oh, hold on. The room's spinning.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Might surprise you.

[Adam Carolla]

I thought he fucking was a mason.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

He's a big game hunter.

[Adam Carolla]

What? I thought he was either I had tit knocker or sheetrocker. You're saying he went to film school? I guarantee that guy's made a fucking penny in the last 80 years.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Yeah, I'm not familiar with any opuses.

[Daniel Pyne]

Do you know I worked with her dad, Voight.

[Adam Carolla]

Jeff. Well, what'd you work on?

[Daniel Pyne]

Manchurian Candidate.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh yeah.

[Daniel Pyne]

He used to come to soccer practices when I was coaching my daughter to give me notes on his part in the movie.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh really? Yeah, he'd show up over in La Cienega park that involved.

[Daniel Pyne]

It was cool.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, he's crazy.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

What kind of notes though? Like, I think you need to write it differently.

[Daniel Pyne]

Yeah, well, he was very much into. It was a political film, so he's very much into the politics of the film and the politics of the character.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Daniel Pyne]

He was constantly coming up with new ideas for the guy.

[Adam Carolla]

If, by the way, if he's a douchebag, you know, if John Voigt. Douchebag.

[Daniel Pyne]

He's not.

[Adam Carolla]

He's just crazy. No, right. You don't want to say he's a douchebag. Well, if he was, I might. Well, I'll tell you what you can do.

[Daniel Pyne]

If he was, I might.

[Adam Carolla]

But who are the other cast members on Manchurian Candidate?

[Daniel Pyne]

Denzel. Denzel and Meryl Streep and Liev Schreiber.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, now who's very tall? All you have to do is when I ask you about Liev or Denzel or Meryl Streep or you just give me your answer. But the one that's a douchebag, you just go, you know, John's John. When you say the guy's names twice that. We'll do the math. What was it like working with Denzel Washington?

[Daniel Pyne]

He's great.

[Adam Carolla]

Great.

[Daniel Pyne]

Obsessed.

[Adam Carolla]

Obsessed. He's obsessed. Liev Shriver.

[Daniel Pyne]

He's tall, very good actor.

[Adam Carolla]

Meryl Streep.

[Daniel Pyne]

She's the most amazing person.

[Adam Carolla]

And then Jon Voight.

[Daniel Pyne]

John.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, John Shun. He's crazy. That's what they do in the interviews. I go, you know, Jon. Jon is Liev, liev, liev, liev.

[Daniel Pyne]

Like, is he just like, is he a douche? No. Oh, no.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Okay. He's just tall.

[Adam Carolla]

But John, he's tall.

[Daniel Pyne]

He's very serious. He's pretty smart.

[Adam Carolla]

He's serious from narrating all those war documentaries. I think he's bummed out all the time. Like they do. Like 330 souls were left on the beach that afternoon. Let's take that again. Liev, it's not three. Oh, I'm sorry. It's 33,000. Sorry, 33. This guy, all he does is narrate all those. He has great voice.

[Daniel Pyne]

He has that voice.

[Adam Carolla]

I know, but he just talks about how many 19 year olds were cleaned out from John. German pillboxes, storming beaches. It's got to be kind of bummed out about it. You know what I mean?

[Daniel Pyne]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Like if he was doing the voice of the friendly tiger on some Pixar film, he'd be in a better mood.

[Daniel Pyne]

Don't they just read it though? I don't think it. I think it goes in and out.

[Adam Carolla]

It just.

[Daniel Pyne]

No, it's flowing through.

[Adam Carolla]

Not Liev.

[Allison Rosen]

It sticks with you.

[Adam Carolla]

Too tall for that.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Yeah, maybe that's for like 5, 11 and under only, I think.

[Allison Rosen]

Leo starts to dread calls from his agent now. I got you another voiceover gig.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Let me guess. Baton death march. What do we got here? Yeah. All right, let me hear a little Season of the Witch while I. Oh, right. Let's wrap the news.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

That's the news. I'm Alison Rosenzipit. Cunt.

[Adam Carolla]

That was the news with Allison Rosen. Mmm. Now a little Season of the Witch. Oh, forget it. E Voice. Oh, E Voice.

[Allison Rosen]

Liev Schreiber needs this first one his agent calls for another voiceover gift. Let it go to voicemail.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right. It's like you have an entire team to help you run your business. It is E Voice. It's a virtual phone number. Answers and routes your business or personal calls to your home, your office, or your cell. You never miss another call. You maintain the professional image. It's all part of the. You don't need an office anymore.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

That's right.

[Adam Carolla]

You need, like a tablet. You need a couple of our other sponsors, an E Voice, and you're done. You're a big shot. Voicemails are transcribed into easy to read emails or. Or text. That's the one I like. No more listening to the long winded nasally drones of the people on the other side. And I'm bad at that. I do a lot of hemming and hawing.

[Allison Rosen]

Dude, I've had Evoice for almost a year now. I got a new phone. Haven't even set up the voicemail. They all get emailed to me. It's.

[Michael Anthony]

I like it.

[Allison Rosen]

It's awesome.

[Adam Carolla]

Yep. Evoice, baby. Click on the evoice banner on AdamCarolla.com, go to evoice.com Adam sign up today for six months. That's almost half a year free. A free trial. Six months. You ain't going back? Hell no, Brian ain't going back. Evoice a radically better phone number. And also GoDaddy, baby, you want to start a little domain name? How about a little fan domain, huh? How about that? GoDaddy.com Easy, affordable name you can trust with hot chicks you can trust. Actually, I don't trust hot chicks. But the name. Name you can trust. Everyone needs a website. Your family business, your crazy hobbies, obsessions. You can tweet us at your new GoDaddy domain name at AdamCarolla show and hashtag AceGoDaddy. And maybe we'll give the new site a shout out. How about that? That'd be awesome. Get your dot com domain only. Only $7, 749. Just enter the code ACE. No one's gonna beat that price. GoDaddy. Support the show. Use the code [e-mail]. that is GoDaddy.com. daniel.

[Michael Anthony]

Yeah.

[Daniel Pyne]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

It's been a little slice.

[Daniel Pyne]

Thank you.

[Adam Carolla]

Hey, when you do your next movie, you know, maybe you get me a part.

[Daniel Pyne]

I wish I had control of it.

[Adam Carolla]

It'd be nice, wouldn't it?

[Daniel Pyne]

As a writer? Yeah. You just don't get it. I do in television, but. So maybe you could be an inmate.

[Adam Carolla]

Podcasts are for yelling. Daniel Pine. Alcatraz, everybody. You can watch full episodes on fox.com Alcatraz the book, a hole in the ground owned by Liar. I love that. Also, our own Allison Rosen.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Baby, that's me.

[Adam Carolla]

She's your new best friend. Friend. Available now on our app and at itunes. And who's your guest?

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Matt Nathanson, musician. You were chatting with him in the studio.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, yes, I was talking to Matt. Yes. Good dude.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Musician and funny guy.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Especially for a musician.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

But now who's. Well, I don't want to get into it, but he seemed. Seems funny. He's very funny, and I like him. I'm gonna be in St. Louis at the Pageant Theater. That is this Friday, April 20th. Still some tickets available, and we're doing a podcast at the Lovett's Theatre. That is next Saturday on the 28th of April. And still some tickets for me and Dennis Prager over at Spreckles. Saturday, May 5th. What did I forget? Ah, again, you get the book. You. You get it on Amazon, you get Daniel's book, and you click through the website. God bless you. So until next time, this is Adam Carolla for Daniel Pine, Allison Rosen, and Paul Brian Saiyan. Mahalo. I could write you a ticket or you could give me a blowjob.

[Michael Anthony]

Pluto TV has thousands of free movies and TV shows.

[Adam Carolla]

We're coming at you with everything we do.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

This is the mindset. Free.

[Adam Carolla]

This is the mantra. Free.

[Michael Anthony]

This is the mindset.

[Adam Carolla]

With movies like Pineapple Express, the entire Star Trek film franchise, and Gladiator, and TV shows like Survivor, SpongeBob SquarePants, the Fairly Odd Parents, and Ghosts, Pluto TV is always free. Huzzah. Pluto TV stream. Now pay. Never. All right, that was Adam Crillo Show 801. Coming up next, we have Adam Carlos Show. What?

[Allison Rosen]

199, featuring Michael Anthony. Adam and Michael Anthony just have a long conversation. Hope you guys enjoy.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, Riley Auto Parts. Yeah, Love that jingle. Oh, oh, oh. So they're in the business of keeping your car on the road. We know that. They're also. You know, I don't have Too many car issues. Usually I can figure them out, but if I can't, I go to O'Reilly and they got the all the stuff there, mostly stuff for me because the new stuff's like a computer. But my vintage cars, man, I can get a lot of parts from O'Reilly. They got thousands of parts in stock either in store or online. So you never have to worry if you get in a jam. Also, they'll test your battery for free, and if it needs to be replaced, they'll help you find the right one. So whether you're a car aficionado or an auto novice, you'll see the employees at O'Reilly Auto Parts are helpful and friendly. O'Reilly is your one stop shop for all things auto. Do it yourself. It's O'Reilly Auto Parts, right? Dawson, stop by O'Reilly Auto Parts today or visit us@O'ReillyAuto.com Adam that's O'ReillyAuto.com Adam. Welcome. Finally, someone who rocks on the show. Michael Anthony. I've been knowing known to rock to the podcast. Michael's a gearhead and a car guy. And last time I saw him was at the winter nationals in Pomona probably about four years ago.

[Michael Anthony]

Is it that long now?

[Adam Carolla]

And we'll talk about cars. But I usually, here's how this podcast works. I introduce the guest and then I say, tell me about yourself. And then I talk for 55 minutes and then I say, well, that's, that's all we have time for.

[Michael Anthony]

All right, that works.

[Adam Carolla]

No, this one's not going to work this this way because I want to go through the chronology of Michael Anthony and Van Halen and oh, my God, all the way up, all the dirt, everything.

[Michael Anthony]

I don't air the laundry out today.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't need it all. But I'll tell you one thing.

[Michael Anthony]

I'll give you a couple of juicy tidbits.

[Adam Carolla]

Dr. Drew says you guys, like, played his prom. He was in, he, he grew up in Pa. Pasadena. No. You guys are sort of from that area.

[Michael Anthony]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

So, so tell us when you guys formed, how you guys formed, where.

[Michael Anthony]

Actually, the Van Halen, Van Halen brothers and David Lee Roth, they're all Pasadena guys. And I'm, I was an Arcadia guy. So we knew, kind of knew each other. I played in bands in Arcadia.

[Adam Carolla]

Arcadia is the next town over.

[Michael Anthony]

The next town. Yeah, east from Pasadena and, you know, rival towns, I guess you could say. I don't know. But, you know, everybody knew everybody else playing in the bands. And so I saw Those guys play a couple of times.

[Adam Carolla]

Were they Van Halen?

[Michael Anthony]

I actually saw them once. They were called Mammoth. And this.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Michael Anthony]

This is before Roth was even in the band. Eddie Van Halen was doing all the lead vocals. But I was. I was always impressed with his guitar playing because, you know, obviously even back then he was doing stuff that local guitar weren't doing right. So it just turns out that one, one night we got a gig at Pasadena High School, and the band I was in, we were called Snake. Pretty original name there. And we opened up for Van Halen. And that was right after Roth was in the band and just got and got to know him that way. I saw Eddie and Alex. So we were all going to Pasadena City College. And so pcc, The City Search Circus.

[Adam Carolla]

Sure.

[Michael Anthony]

And we'd see each other kind of. You know, I'd be going to a jazz improv class that I was taking. I'd see Alex coming from his. Didn't know him, but, you know, we'd kind of just look at each other like, yeah, that's that guy in that band, you know.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Michael Anthony]

But after we played together, we just kind of like. I remember striking up a conversation with Eddie and make a long story short, they were getting rid of their bass player. And a mutual friend of ours suggested me and Eddie Nowledge asked if I'd come with over and jam with him one day, and did.

[Adam Carolla]

And how good? You know, I never asked this question, but, you know, how good were you on the bass back then at the tender age of 19?

[Michael Anthony]

I thought I was great.

[Adam Carolla]

I mean, had you been playing for five years?

[Michael Anthony]

I started playing bass when I was about 14 to 15, right in there. And, you know, I was getting pretty good, I guess. You know, a lot of the people that I play with that when we first started playing, they did it because, you know, it was like the cool thing to do because, you know, it was like Robert Plant, Jimmy Page. Everybody wanted to be them. Nobody wanted to play bass. You know, they go, okay, you can play bass, Mike. You'd be like Bill Wyman. You stand in the back and just hold your bass up and don't do anything. And I said, no, I. You know, I'm a little more into it than that. I want to jump around. And friends. Friends of mine, all of a sudden they'd be on to other things.

[Adam Carolla]

Like, you know, yeah, Bill Wyman's face never changed. And John Entwhistle never really moved either. I don't recall. Seemed like they would just stand back there and go, about their business?

[Michael Anthony]

Yeah, well, you know, in the fact of John Entwistle. I mean, he had. Between Keith Moon and Pete Townsend. He didn't have to do anything except stand there.

[Adam Carolla]

Plus, if you step forward, you could get killed with, like, a windmill or a flying guitar, something like that, but. And who did you listen to back?

[Michael Anthony]

Actually, Actually, I. I listen to people like that. I listen to the Stones. I grew up listening to blues stuff. There was a band. My sister is a couple years older than me. She'd bring home records from bands. Everything from this band, Electric Flag.

[Adam Carolla]

Sure. There was a.

[Michael Anthony]

Their bass player, Harvey Brooks, is a first blues type thing I listened to. And then she brought home a record from this band, Blue Cheer. Do you remember bands back then?

[Adam Carolla]

No, I'm trying a Blue Cheer and Electric Flag. But especially Blue Cheer had a hit.

[Michael Anthony]

Summertime Blues was, you know, their.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Michael Anthony]

Big, big remake thing.

[Adam Carolla]

Remake of Ain't no Cure for the Summer. But who. The Electric Flag.

[Michael Anthony]

What was the Electric Flag? They had a big hit on their first album called Grooving Is Easy. And it's a. Grooving Is Easy, Baby.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Michael Anthony]

If you know how. You know, it was like Buddy Miles played drums. It was, you know, it's a pretty eclectic band.

[Adam Carolla]

Dr. Drew told me that Snotty Scotty and the Hankies.

[Michael Anthony]

I remember those guys.

[Adam Carolla]

He said, Snotty Scotty and the Hankies played one of their, like, dances or one of their things. And Van Halen played one, too. That maybe it was for his school, maybe it was one that he went to. Maybe it was someone else's prom. But his promise was Snotty Scotty in the Hankies.

[Michael Anthony]

Okay. We actually did a couple of shows with them in the Pasadena area. That's funny that you bring that up.

[Adam Carolla]

And Dr. Drew is, you know, 50 years old, so. Right. Probably be right in everyone's age group, essentially. And. Yeah, and then he also said that Blues Image, I think, played at another Promise or something. They sung Ride Captain, Ride upon you.

[Michael Anthony]

Oh, my gosh.

[Adam Carolla]

I think it was called Blues Image. Yeah.

[Michael Anthony]

Was it Blues Image?

[Adam Carolla]

It's close.

[Michael Anthony]

Yeah. I think you got the blues part right.

[Adam Carolla]

I got the blues. I got the blues. Something. Yep. Figure out who sings that. I don't know if it's called Ride Captain, Ride, Ride, Captain, ride upon your Used to be if you formed a band, you had to write one song about shipping. Like riding on an old vessel.

[Michael Anthony]

Yeah. The Sailor Said Brandy and.

[Adam Carolla]

And Beach Boys had to Sloop, John B. And stuff like, you have to sing one Mariner Song. And you need one song about going on the road, I guess.

[Michael Anthony]

I guess all those seamen, big fan base there, I guess. You know, if you got them, you got the.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, the Edmund Fitzgerald, I think, kicked it all off. And then you needed one song where you liken yourself to a cowboy out on the. You know, use the. Use the metaphor of the, you know, old gunslinger.

[Daniel Pyne]

Right.

[Adam Carolla]

In the Old West. But actually, Van Halen never really did that.

[Michael Anthony]

No. You know, some of the. Some of the get ups Roth had, he kind of looked kind of like some kind of a. He had these chaps that was.

[Adam Carolla]

I guess I remember the white chaps, the.

[Michael Anthony]

The assless chaps that he wore for a while.

[Adam Carolla]

People say assless chaps like they say engaged to be married. I'll do the ass math on the chaps. When someone sews an ass into chaps, then we can start saying assless chaps. Because as far as I know, chaps are all assless. And they're meant to be worn outside of the jeans. Not alone. That's the problem. There was never a problem with chaps until guys started wearing them with no jeans underneath.

[Michael Anthony]

I think Roth was one of the pioneers of that.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, well, he was in good shape and he wasn't. He wasn't scared to show it off.

[Michael Anthony]

Well, but he had three guys that had to stand behind him and play on stage.

[Adam Carolla]

Man, I was gonna say, you have. You have 50,000 people in front of him, not staring at his ass. But then you have. You standing behind him. You must have stared at a ton of David Lee Roth ass in your day.

[Michael Anthony]

Yeah, you know, not unintentionally, believe me.

[Adam Carolla]

So Van Halen essentially hits. You guys get together in what year?

[Michael Anthony]

Actually, I joined. I joined the band in 74. Our first album actually came out in 78.

[Adam Carolla]

78. And that had.

[Michael Anthony]

You really got me. It was actually the first big hit, Running with the Devil.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Michael Anthony]

Talking about.

[Daniel Pyne]

About love.

[Adam Carolla]

You know, I think Talking About Love is my favorite Van Halen song, or at least one of my favorites participation song.

[Michael Anthony]

You know, at the end, everyone's going, hey, hey, hey.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, that's what you want. Like, boom, boom.

[Michael Anthony]

When we wrote that, it was kind of like, we need to do something, you know, where the crowd can chant with us, you know, and so that's how we ain't talking about love.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, like, when you say, when we wrote it, how did the process work?

[Michael Anthony]

You know what, hold on a second.

[Adam Carolla]

I asked for the name of the band who sung Ride Captain Ride. Instead, I gotta stare at this Homo with his chaps on the whole.

[Michael Anthony]

Oh, my God, that's not Roth, is it?

[Adam Carolla]

No, it could very well be Daily Roth Blues.

[Michael Anthony]

Don't pull up any early Roth on the. Don't pull up any early Roth. So I'll have nightmares. I'll have to sleep at the nightlight. On again.

[Adam Carolla]

So how. So how would the process. How would the creative collaboration. Collaboration go?

[Michael Anthony]

You know, Eddie was. He was just an encyclopedia full of music, that guy, you know, So, I mean, he'd be writing stuff and he was pretty much the master cylinder behind, you know, a lot of the ideas for the music. And then we'd all jam it. We had a little. We used to actually practice in David Lee Roth's dad's little mansion that they had out here in Pasadena. We had a little room in. Downstairs in their basement where we just kind of hash it all out.

[Adam Carolla]

What did Ross dad do?

[Michael Anthony]

He was an ophthalmologist.

[Adam Carolla]

Really?

[Michael Anthony]

Oddly enough, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

And so he made a good living.

[Michael Anthony]

He made. He made a pretty. Pretty decent living. He. Oh, my God, there's an old picture. Yeah, they had this place right on. Right off Orange Grove in Pasadena, and they called it Rothwood.

[Adam Carolla]

Really.

[Michael Anthony]

And his father. By the time I met him, his father was divorced, but he was like. He was kind of a swinging playboy type. You know, he'd always be on his way to Aspen or coming back from here or whatever.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree, evidently. So Roth sort of came from. I mean, every. Almost every rock and roll story seems to be some Axl Rose type thing where they come here from Indiana or wherever they come from, and then they live on the streets with strippers and all that kind of stuff. But that wasn't Roth's art.

[Michael Anthony]

No. You know, it actually is a very funny story. I wasn't in the band yet, but it was a funny story about how Roth joined Van Halen. Roth had his own band called Red Ball Jet. And they were all pretty much. I don't know, I don't think that they were very accomplished musicians, but they all had the look, the then look. And. And Van Halen used to play some shows with them when they were mammoth. And they would borrow this PA system that Roth had. And so I. From what Alex would tell me, he said that finally he had an idea one day. He said, why do we have to just keep borrowing and renting this PA system? Let's just get the guy to sing with us. And then we got the PA too. And that's how they asked him to join the band.

[Adam Carolla]

It's sort of like. It's like the guy who has the van.

[Michael Anthony]

Exactly.

[Adam Carolla]

Asked to join the band, which is Van Halen. But no, but I'm saying we could buy u Haul or schlep all our crap around at a Volkswagen or we could just get this guy with a

[Michael Anthony]

van to join the band to save all that money.

[Adam Carolla]

Save all our money. But Roth turned out to be a pretty great frontman, as it. As it turns out. But then actually, I'm trying to think if there's any other bands that have had. As I was driving, diving in, I was doing that thing. I was doing my. I was kind of doing my Foo Fighter, Nirvana math, which is to say that at a certain point, the Foo Fighters are going to have more hits than Nirvana. And maybe we've reached that point. Like, they'll never be quite as legendary as Nirvana because obviously when Kurt Cobain passes away, what are you going to do if you become James Dean at a certain point?

[Michael Anthony]

But I'm just saying, tops, it's going

[Adam Carolla]

to be 100 years from now. People might look back and go, I like the Foo Fighters better or they had more hits or they had. They. They amassed, you know, I mean, I'll bet the Foo Fighters probably come out with more records than Nirvana came out with, for obvious reasons. But did Sammy Hagar era Van Halen have more hits than David Lee Roth era and sell more records or come out out with more records?

[Michael Anthony]

Actually, David Lee Roth era Jump was Van Halen's only number one single that we, that we ever had. And the reason behind that was that we never considered ourselves a singles band. We always wrote album rock material.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Michael Anthony]

It wasn't like, let's write a hit today. So we always let the record company pick it and would jump. Obviously that hit.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Right.

[Michael Anthony]

But with Sammy, when Sammy first joined the band, that was the first number one album that Van Halen ever had, was the 5150 record, Sammy's first record.

[Adam Carolla]

And how many, if you can recall, how many albums with Roth and then how many albums with Hagar?

[Michael Anthony]

Okay, roth, it was 2, 3, 4, 5. Like I think five albums with Roth. And we actually put out more with Hagar, though.

[Adam Carolla]

So it is one of these, like, Foo Fighter things in a weird way. Actually, more work out and more hits out and more. More number one, whatever's out with Hagar than there was with.

[Michael Anthony]

Yeah. But it's kind of funny because the fans are kind of equally divided as far as which era of Van Halen they like better, you know, because there are still a large contingent of people that they love the early Van Halen stuff with Roth and you know, obviously that's something that we did back then that was pretty cutting edge with his guitar work and Ross Wow. You know, and all that. But.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, it was a, it was a nice mix mixture because at the time there was this sort of hard rock. You know, you had sort of your Deep Purples and bands like that and then you had, you sort of had, you had your old rock. But this almost felt like it had a little new wave in it. Like it had a little. The pace was picked up or a little better. It was newer sounding.

[Michael Anthony]

Yeah. When we were playing, I remember because we. When I joined the band and shortly before we were signed we were doing a place called Gazari which is now the Key Club out in Hollywood in the West.

[Adam Carolla]

Godfather. Rock and roll.

[Michael Anthony]

Yeah. If they're not playing damn good rock and roll, they're not playing on my.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, that's on Sunset.

[Michael Anthony]

But. And it was the whole glam period, cuz Bowie was big then and whatever. And that was Roth's whole big thing. He's like, you know, Ed Allen. I were kind of like the jeans and T shirts guy doing the music. And Roth was going, no, you got to wear spandex. We got to do this. And thank God. I don't, I don't think there are any photos floating around of me playing this gold lame outfit that I wore in Van Halen because believe me, I have to go crawl in a hole somewhere. But I think because we were kind of on the tail edge of that whole Deep Purple, humble pie, all those old rock and roll kind of guys. And where new wave was coming on, punk was really big. I remember our first tour in 78 in. In England. We couldn't even. We were afraid to walk the streets because it was all skinheads and punks and.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Michael Anthony]

And you know, exactly. Which, which weren't just the posers like over here. They were living the life over there. So it was scary.

[Adam Carolla]

I'll tell you what they got over there. Like we have essentially non threatening white people over here. Like maybe the guy's got a mohawk and he's on a Vespa, but his dad, dad's a dentist and he's out of Beverly Hills. You don't have to worry about them in England they have actual hooligans. Like they have the guys get loaded at soccer games and go out and bash people over the head. Yeah.

[Michael Anthony]

And their fathers are steel Workers. And you know, they did.

[Adam Carolla]

They're working crappy. Yeah, the dads are like whatever Ozzy Osbourne came from, that's what they have those guys there, they were criminals.

[Michael Anthony]

They were living the life, you know. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Posers over there that just up picked, picked up the crap from over there and put the anarchy thing on their bomber jacket. But it's not the same as.

[Michael Anthony]

Right. We hang a few safety pins from our code. Yeah,

[Adam Carolla]

yeah, I went to high school. A bunch of those assholes.

[Michael Anthony]

But I think, I think because of all that going on, you know, and it didn't really influence, I think, a lot of the way we wrote the music because we all grew up listening to, you know, Zep and the who and Cream and bands like that.

[Adam Carolla]

And so the now did a guy like, like we all know, like, I, I know Sammy Hagar's a really nice guy, especially when he's talking about his tequila. It's crazy. I've never heard a guy tequila.

[Michael Anthony]

How he would put it is tequila been very, very good to me.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. But I swear to God, that guy would be like, well, I cook breakfast with tequila. I'll put it in my squeeze bottle when I'm out mountain bike riding. Like, all right, listen, Sam, you're putting it in your hair like, Sam, we get it. Yeah. You have a tequila brand. Relax, all right? I'm not put in my kid's bottle. Sorry. But he seems like Sammy Hagar to me. Seems like a 50 year old teenager. Like, he just seems like a nice dude, I guess. Is he from the up north or something?

[Michael Anthony]

He's actually originally from Fontana.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, really? But I guess he relocated.

[Michael Anthony]

Yeah, he migrated himself up to San Francisco area.

[Adam Carolla]

Just seemed easy. Roth seems sort of nuts. And I don't mean nuts in a horrible, needs to be institutionalized kind of way, but I mean in a kind of like less controllable, less reasonable than Sammy. Sammy Hagar sounds like, Seems like kind of guy you might be able to reason with. Roth. Seems like there'd be no talking to Roth once he got going in a certain direction.

[Michael Anthony]

Roth. Roth did have a certain side to him that was actually, I don't know if you'd call it the softer side of Roth, but you'd almost never see that because he was on stage 25 hours a day is what it basically was with Dave. And he actually was a little bit nutty, like, you know, I mean, the guy wasn't that coordinated. I remember one time we were in the, in rehearsals rehearsing a song and we gave Him a tambourine. And we let him play that for about 10 seconds. Then we took it from him and said, no, really, maybe that's, maybe that's not your instrument. They're used to. In Pasadena, they used to have this go kart track call. I forget what it was. It was a go kart thing. We all went go karting and they kicked him off the track. They thought he was screwing around, running over stuff and whatever. And he was actually really trying to. He was trying.

[Adam Carolla]

He just didn't have the hand eye coordination to be. Not really.

[Michael Anthony]

Not really. And I guess that, you know, but

[Adam Carolla]

I mean, he's, he's. He was like, he, he was just born to be a front man. Like he couldn't play an instrument. He had pretty good pipes, but I wouldn't call him a virtuoso singer, but he was just great timing in terms of, you know, if it was in the 40s, it probably wouldn't have worked out. And I don't know if it would have worked out today. But the time was right for David Lee Roth to be a frontman. And he was a showman. It was like he was an entertainer. Like, that's, that's part of the business. I guess that's half the business.

[Michael Anthony]

And I mean, that was really a big part, you know, or a large part of what made Van Halen. Van Halen back in the day too.

[Adam Carolla]

You know, maybe the fact that Eddie Van Halen, who was such a virtuoso, was standing behind him probably helped because if you had a weak guitarist, I don't know if Roth could have got away with what. He got away.

[Michael Anthony]

No, no, no. Because the music was, you know, and especially Eddie's cutting edge guitar playing was, was pretty much a big focal point of the band. But then you had Roth, like you said, who is a showman, the cosmic showman man. He was.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, when did, when did you start to sense that the train was coming off the. The rails? I mean, Roth always seems like a guy was. He just strikes me like Terrell Owens, for you, follow football at all. Like, he's a superstar. He's going to have to have a coach that can kind of talk to him and contain him a little bit. But you're never really going to get him to shut up or get him just to play team ball out there. But he's such a gifted athlete that you can't cut him. Although at some point, even though the guy's a great receiver, the team still says fuck it. It's just he's too disruptive in the locker room, man. Is that kind of what happened with the David lebron?

[Michael Anthony]

That's. You almost hit it right on the head with that. You know, it's like us three, we're so busy doing the music and whatever that we didn't even. We let Dave do. I mean, at one point, he wanted to do all the press, all the, you know, all that stuff. We said, hey, fine, you know, we're us three. We'll play the music. And. And you go ahead and do that. And at one point, though, all of a sudden. And I. I don't know if I should. It's a peaceful 40. When Eddie married Valerie Bertinelli, sure. You know, I think she kind of planted in his ear. Not that she was like the Yoko Onoish type of wife, but it's kind of like, hey, you know, Roth, you shouldn't let him get away with this kind of thing or whatever. And I think by the time our 1984 tour rolled around, things were starting to get a little bit strained, you know, And Roth's antics were such that. I mean. I mean, he. All the chicks loved him, but all their boyfriends wanted to kill him. They wanted to jump on stage and just kill him. And he would say stuff to them like, hey, that's your girlfriend. I blipped her last night. Toss that guy up here. I'll kick his ass. You know? And we're going, wow, I don't know if you should really be doing stuff like that. And plus, Dave, he was kind of like. He wanted to get into acting, right? And so he was kind of starting to pull himself off in a little bit different direction than where the band wanted to continue going, you know?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, well, he's like. I said, he seems, like, clinically insane to me, and at least from the guys I know, because also, when Howard Stern went off the air, I took over for Stern on the west coast, and he took over for Stern on the east coast, and I didn't catch many of his shows any. There weren't many of his shows, but my bosses who were his bosses used to call me and just be like,

[Michael Anthony]

well, basically, if you heard one of his shows, you heard all of his shows also.

[Adam Carolla]

They just didn't want to deal with the guy. Like, they were just like. It was actually kind of nice because I was like a. I. I would like. I was like a C student who had a brother who was in juvie. You know what I mean? And my parents would come up and go, oh, you're Such a great boy, really. I wasn't that good either, but. But compared to the. My brother Kurt, who was in juvie, I was looking pretty good about that, about that time. So. It's always good to, by the way, have a brother in juvie where you can get away with being a semi crappy student and getting in and out of trouble, but just as long as you're not that guy.

[Daniel Pyne]

Right.

[Adam Carolla]

But he seemed like he'd gone off the rails. But were there. Was it drugs that were motivating this change or just good old fashioned?

[Michael Anthony]

I think it was just good old fashioned nuttiness and a big ego, you know, of course drugs were there. I mean, you know, back then, you know, because there weren't such a thing as AIDS or any of that stuff back then. It was all sex and drugs and rock and roll and Roth, you know, everyone. Everyone indulged into their thing. But I think Roth, it was. It was. It was an ego thing, right? And he just thought that he was bigger than the whole band. And so I think at one point he said, hey, I want to go off and I want to do this. He wanted to do. He was working on some movie, Crazy from the Heat or something.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Michael Anthony]

He was going to try to call it. And he wanted us to do the soundtrack and this and that. And the band wanted to. We wanted to write and record another album and go out on tour because, I mean, we were pretty huge at that point.

[Adam Carolla]

Sure.

[Michael Anthony]

And, you know, all of a sudden we finished the 19. 1984 tour. We fired our manager because we couldn't, you know, deal with this guy anymore. And we kind of liquidated all, you know, got rid of all our. We owned our own merchandising and ran our own factory. And we didn't want to be, you know, bothered with all that because, like, when you're supposed to be going on stage and playing, we're having meetings as to what kind of T shirts we're making or whatever. And so Roth was saying, well, you know, I can't deal with all this. I can't be creative in the studio right now because all this is going on. But then he's going off and he's doing his California girls.

[Adam Carolla]

Sure.

[Michael Anthony]

Stuff or whatever. So, you know, he was kind of going off in his own right, solo direction. Oh, there's a scary picture right there.

[Adam Carolla]

Is that before and After David Lever off.

[Michael Anthony]

Before and after, by the way, I

[Adam Carolla]

asked about Blues Image or blues whatever. 20 minutes a goddamn go. You can't. Guys can't figure that Out. I guess a of lot look at guys in their. In banana hammocks for 20 minutes staring at guys asses, and no one can tell me who wrote Ride. Captain Ride. All right. Hey, Donnie, do we have a phone call? Yeah.

[Michael Anthony]

Yes, we do.

[Adam Carolla]

Blues image. It was blues, was it?

[Michael Anthony]

Blues image.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Michael Anthony]

Good call there, Adam.

[Adam Carolla]

Thanks, buddy. All right, Speaking of calls, who's on the line there? Joey? Or is it. Yeah, Joey. And leave that up there, would you please, Donnie? Oh, put your headphones on, Mike.

[Michael Anthony]

Yeah, I'm gonna put my headphones on. I'm put my glasses on too, Adam.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Sad we're all getting old, isn't it? Joey's got a question. Joey. Hey, what's up, guys? What's happening?

[Michael Anthony]

What's going on, Joey?

[Adam Carolla]

Hey, I'm huge fans of both of you guys.

[Michael Anthony]

I don't. I don't even need to put my headphones on to hear this guy.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

I'm sorry.

[Adam Carolla]

I'll turn it down a little bit.

[Michael Anthony]

Hey, I have a question for Michael Anthony that. What is your whole view on the whole, like, Guitar Hero phenomenon?

[Adam Carolla]

And why aren't you a character in your own video game? I mean, that's nonsense to me.

[Michael Anthony]

Yeah, well, you'd probably have to call Eddie Van Halen and ask him that question. But I mean, the whole Guitar Hero phenomenon, it's great. I mean, I try to play it. I've got two young daughters and their boyfriends, they come over and play that thing. And I don't know if there's something about it that's just not exactly like playing the instrument. I try to pick it up and play it like the instrument, and these guys kick my ass, really. Every time I think that there's going

[Adam Carolla]

to be like, some amazing music in like, 16 years where, like, my daughter

[Michael Anthony]

is so, like, like exposed to like, Van Halen, the Pearl Jams, like bands

[Adam Carolla]

of that caliber and which without guitar arrow, I mean, they have limited exposure to it.

[Michael Anthony]

Yeah, no, definitely, definitely. Bands like Van Van Halen and. And, you know, and the who and. God, all kinds of these old rock and roll bands are. It's kind of like rejuvenating everything, you know, with all the young people listening to that. I mean, God, it was like a couple years ago, my nephew comes up to me and goes, hey, check out this band, man. They're so. They're so great. And yeah, it was. It was Led Zeppelin. I go, oh, shit. Here, you want to. Here, check it out. I got all their. I got all their albums. No, but it's. It's Great. It's great. It's great exposure, and it's pretty cool. They're pretty cool games, too. But as far as.

[Adam Carolla]

It's not the same. I mean, from. Obviously, none of us know what it feels like to shred a bass guitar, but you're saying it doesn't feel the same or it's not the.

[Michael Anthony]

Actually, the way it plays. Doesn't track exactly the same. You know, it's. I don't know, between placing your fingers and, you know, pushing the buttons down, whatever, you know, I don't know. I guess. I guess maybe I just, you know.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Thank you, guys. But.

[Michael Anthony]

But as far as the. It's the new Van Halen Guitar Hero coming out. I'll tell you. You know, it's not my image on there, but the singing and playing is mine. Oh, nice. You'll just. You'll just see it coming through Eddie's kid's mouth. Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

He. He put.

[Michael Anthony]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Put Wolfgang on there.

[Michael Anthony]

Yeah, I. I guess, you know. Know, he's.

[Adam Carolla]

I mean, look, no. No offense to Eddie Van Halen or Wolfgang, but how'd that kid get so big? Eddie. Eddie's a dwarf. I mean, Eddie. Eddie's the skinniest guy I've ever seen in my life.

[Michael Anthony]

I think he picks up from his mother's side jeans. Because Valerie's brothers are all. I mean, they're not. They're not fat, but they're.

[Adam Carolla]

They're big guys.

[Michael Anthony]

Oh, they're big guys. I. You know, really, the two of them, David and Patrick, these guys. Way back when Roth was in the band, I wouldn't mess with these guys. They kick my ass. And they're years younger than me.

[Adam Carolla]

I mean, wow. All right. I had. I had no idea. Now, how now. So you're dealing with. You can take those headphones.

[Michael Anthony]

Yeah. Okay.

[Adam Carolla]

Or just flip them around. Put the cord. Put the cord on the. On the left. On your left side. That'll help with the mic.

[Michael Anthony]

Yeah. Okay. There we go.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, you're. So. You're dealing with two personalities here. Like you're dealing with. You're dealing with David Lee Roth, who I would imagine you stopped me from wrong, but I would imagine while Roth was in the band, everyone was just focused on Roth because he was the biggest pain in the ass in the room. At a certain point when Roth leaves the band, someone steps up to fill that void, and it's Eddie Van Halen. Like, did Eddie Van Halen turn into that? Like, what? I could never. I could never really get his vibe. I couldn't he's not David Lee Roth, but yet he's not the sweetest guy in the world either. So I couldn't figure out his deal

[Michael Anthony]

well without getting into too much of the dirt or whatever. But you know, he. As time. There we go. There's Eddie and his son.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Michael Anthony]

As time, as time went on, Eddie, you know, took more of a control part of the band. And I think that even started happening as far back as when Roth was in the band during our 1984 tour and when things were starting to fall apart there. But then, you know, when Sammy joined the band, we could, we became, I guess you could say more musically proficient as a band because with Roth it was a lot of show, a lot of that whole thing. And Sammy, being a guitar player himself is sure as well as a great singer.

[Adam Carolla]

He's the Red Rocker.

[Michael Anthony]

That's right. He the Red Rocker who drinks tequila.

[Adam Carolla]

Sure.

[Michael Anthony]

You know, we were able to musically take it another. Take it to another level.

[Adam Carolla]

You brought another musician into the band. Essentially you just swapped out a showman and brought in a musician. I'm guessing Sammy Hagar is a pretty good guitar player.

[Michael Anthony]

Yeah, he doesn't do too bad. You know, he's. He's a pretty decent guitar player in his own right. But you know, at that point it was almost like, okay, now we're not going to wear the spandex. You don't have to wear the gold lame anymore. If you want to wear jeans and a T shirt, you do that because we're going to focus more on the personalities and the music, you know, so that's when Van Halen was really making kind of shifting and going not a different direction because, you know, we still wrote the music the same, but you know, we were, I think, able to become more just ourselves than then.

[Adam Carolla]

But did, did Eddie at that point step up and become essentially the leader of the band? Like he said, this is my band.

[Michael Anthony]

No, I don't think at that point that was really happening yet because we, we considered ourselves, we used to call ourselves the four headed monster back then when Sammy first joined the band. So it was everybody, you know, all for one and one for all.

[Adam Carolla]

So then when.

[Michael Anthony]

Now it seems he's digging Adam these, these edges.

[Adam Carolla]

But I mean, everything now seems pretty copacetic. Sammy.

[Michael Anthony]

Well, yeah, because Sammy, Eddie's got the band that he wants now. His brother and his kid.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Michael Anthony]

So.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, but I just mean then, now. So when does Eddie. Eddie wants to start. And by the way, what about Alex Van Halen? Alex.

[Michael Anthony]

Alex Van Halen Yeah, he's kind of like the silent partner.

[Adam Carolla]

I've never heard the man talk.

[Michael Anthony]

He's the silent big brother, you know, that would he talk off stage. He would become vocal if there was something that, that he needed to voice his opinion or something that Eddie was maybe going off the handle or, or whatever. And he could always talk to his brother and, and kind of like calm him down or whatever. And I mean, he was always the coolest quiet guy in front of the camera, but behind the camera there are quite a few holes in our 5150 studio walls.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, really?

[Michael Anthony]

Yeah, him and his brother.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow.

[Michael Anthony]

I mean, that they'd be going chingaso. Rolling around on the ground.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow.

[Michael Anthony]

Full on fist fighting. But they're brothers, you know.

[Adam Carolla]

Sure.

[Michael Anthony]

I mean, they did, they did that stuff even back when I first met him. They'd be fighting one minute and then the next minute they'd be hugging and kissing and crying.

[Adam Carolla]

What is their background? They're from the Pasadena area. What?

[Michael Anthony]

Yeah, I mean, they're really young when they come over from Holland, you know, their father was a very accomplished musician over in Europe. Oh, he was, but yeah, playing saxophone and clarinet like that. But when they came over here to the States, you know, it was, it was tough. Their father couldn't find the gig over here. So, you know, he wasn't working the, you know, doing what he loved to do. He had his little like Oompa band on the side, you know, his little band that did play on the weekends. But the brothers, you know, they grew up in Pasadena and not a lot of work.

[Adam Carolla]

Clarinet players in the 60s.

[Michael Anthony]

Not too much back then. Not in old town Pasadena, you know.

[Adam Carolla]

And like how good a drummer? Because I don't really know anything about music. I know a lot of songs, but I don't know, like, I'm always interested from the musicians. Who were the good drummers, good music. Like Alex Van Halen, you know, Eddie was a great guitar player. I can figure.

[Michael Anthony]

Him and Eddie were both great musicians.

[Adam Carolla]

They're both great musicians.

[Michael Anthony]

When I first, when I first, when we did this show with Van Halen, my band way back when, I remember standing on the side of the stage and watching these guys play and I'm looking at Eddie playing, I go, man, that guy, he's damn good. And his brother Alex was great. And then Roth struts over on the side of the stage. I remember he was wearing this little black vest and he had his hair dyed black with a white like, like a skunk. Right. Because he Was obviously, even back then, he was into the show thing. And he comes up to me, swaggers up on the side of stage. He goes, hey, how do you like my boys? And I'm like, get the hell away from me, you homo. This is the band that I would eventually join.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Michael Anthony]

I'm like, yeah, I don't know about this guy. But, you know, but as far as musicians, Eddie and Alex, they were always, you know, all the musicians in the passing Arcadia, around the whole area, you know, they were like, yeah, these two guys, they're, you know, they're. They're great, great players. Even back then when, you know, we were all. All really young, in our teens, so they had.

[Adam Carolla]

Whatever. Their dad sort of passed.

[Michael Anthony]

They have the gene.

[Adam Carolla]

They definitely.

[Michael Anthony]

They definitely have the gene to play music.

[Adam Carolla]

And so as far as the royalties go and the writing credits and all that, are you all in? Is it all for one? Are you good? Are you set for life?

[Michael Anthony]

Me? Yeah. Yeah, thankfully, because I found a great accountant that would eventually become my business manager who helped me out. In the early days, I was always like, you know, people would tell you, oh, you know, if you're on top for four or five years, that's a great career for a rock band. Unless you're like the Stones or the Beatles or someone really huge like that. And so from early on, I mean, I would. Our manager would be going, oh, the guys can't be bothered with this investment, or whatever. And I would always be going, hey, you know, if this is going to be over tomorrow, I want to make sure. Sure. At least I got a few dollars in my pocket, you know, right today. And so I started early on, you know, just with that kind of mindset that it could all end anytime, which, you know, it always can, you know, the way this industry is, you know.

[Adam Carolla]

Sure. And so, I mean, the lead singer can OD at any time, or the lead guitar player.

[Michael Anthony]

Van Halen found out. I mean, because we've been through a few lead singers.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Michael Anthony]

You know, but, you know, so. So thank you. Thankfully for that, you know, I'm okay. And now, you know, we have a new resurgence with this new little band that I'm in now, too.

[Adam Carolla]

Ah, that's right. Chicken Foot, which, by the way, has Sammy Hagar in there, and Joe Satriani, who's a pretty good guitar player in his own right.

[Michael Anthony]

He does all right.

[Adam Carolla]

And then Chad Smith, those Red Hot Chili Peppers. And Chad Smith's been a bunch of bands, hasn't he? I'm trying to think.

[Michael Anthony]

Well, he's jammed with a lot of people. He's one of these guys that can't sit still for him for a minute. You know, he's always got about five or six different projects going.

[Adam Carolla]

He's a big cool guy.

[Michael Anthony]

He is.

[Adam Carolla]

And I like the guy a lot. And I think at some point he got sober and started riding a mountain bike. I can't remember, but I, I just, I, I used to ham on Loveline all the time and I just thought he was a real good driver. Oh, really good loveliness.

[Michael Anthony]

That's be a good show for him because he's, he's got a few kids from a few different relationships.

[Adam Carolla]

Tim from. It's refreshing to see white guys doing that. Tim from Illinois has a question for Michael.

[Michael Anthony]

Tim, what the heck?

[Adam Carolla]

Hey Mike, how's it going man?

[Michael Anthony]

What's going on dude?

[Adam Carolla]

Hey, first of all, thank you for the, the 1984, I would say album or CD, but it was a cassette back in those days that was my gateway drug to some good music cassette.

[Michael Anthony]

Oh heck yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

About the Chicken Foot. Nasty rumor that that's just like a project type deal, like a one and

[Michael Anthony]

done, you know what. So everybody, everybody, everybody says, yeah, here's Chicken Foot, the super group. And you know, like most super groups, they say let's pull this guy from this band, that guy from that band and we'll do one album in tour and get the most publicity and you know, make a bunch of cash or whatever. And we're not about that because, you know, like Adam, we were just talking about Chad. I met Chad about five, six years ago down in Cabo San Lucas where actually that's where Sammy met him. And Chad's got a house down there. And we were actually jamming as Chicken Foot, calling ourselves Sammy, Chad and I calling ourselves Chicken Foot for about three, four years before this thing even came about as just a screwy name to call ourselves back there because you know, the three guys of Three Towns and it was then we pulled Joe in the mix and it was, you know, this was born more out of friendship than a put together band. And I think that's why, I mean we get along great and the stuff, I love playing with these guys. They're all great musicians and we have no plans of just letting this thing go because we had a, we put out what we felt was a great CD and we had, we just came off a great tour this year and we've got plenty of ideas for more stuff and, and you know, obviously Chad's, he's got to go back to the Chili Peppers, to do his thing there. But, you know, we work around all that stuff because we all enjoy doing what we're doing and making this music together. So I definitely.

[Adam Carolla]

That's awesome, because when I heard that,

[Michael Anthony]

I was hoping that wasn't just a

[Adam Carolla]

nasty rumor, because I'm like, that's like

[Allison Rosen]

the owner of your favorite football team

[Adam Carolla]

saying, you know what? We got Peyton Manning, Adrian Peterson and Terrell Owens, but just for one possession. Michael doesn't know any of those names, by the way. He's.

[Michael Anthony]

Yes, I do. No, but we're. I mean, this, this. This is a. This is a band now. And we're actually. We're, you know, we're putting ideas down already for new stuff, but we're not done yet. We got another. We have a live dvd, performance DVD that we're putting together that's going to come out, I think, probably early next year, which is really cool that we record. We recorded a whole bunch of stuff during this tour. But no, it's. It's going to continue.

[Adam Carolla]

Awesome. Good stuff, man.

[Allison Rosen]

Can't wait to hear the next one.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, thanks for the call. You know, the other. The thing that's probably nice for you is everybody who's in the band is sort of not producing as much testosterone as they were back in the 80s. Mellowed out a little bit and, you know, is financially doing okay. So you're doing it for the love of doing it, not. Not for the payday, which I always like to sort of point out, whether it's an actor doing a project or a musician doing a project or whoever doing a project. When somebody's looking for a payday, well, then the product could be anything. They don't care. They're looking for a payday. But you guys don't need a payday. There's no one in this band who needs a payday. Everyone's doing okay.

[Michael Anthony]

Everyone's pretty good on our past stuff and.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. So. So hence you at least know they're there for the right reasons. And oftentimes the product is that much better because, again, they're there for the right reasons.

[Michael Anthony]

Exactly. We went out on tour, we didn't play. We could have gone out, you know, four big egos and said, hey, let's hit the stadiums and the big arenas. And we didn't do that at all on this. On this first tour that we did, we played. We played theaters. You know, I think the largest place theater we played here in the States was like, you know, four or five thousand. We did a couple outdoor shows, but we wanted to build the following and build it up and earn it. So we didn't, you know, we didn't need the money like you said. We didn't need to go and, you know, do a big cash grab. And so, you know, we want to do it the right way and earn our fans and earn their respect. And, you know, and that's why we didn't play any Chili Peppers music or Van Halen music or Hagar music on this tour. We kept it all Chicken foot. And then maybe a song here or there, like a Deep Purple song or whatever, which, you know, maybe in the, in the future we'll do something from our past. But, you know, I would hope that

[Adam Carolla]

the Deep Purple song that you covered was Burn, Burn. That's my favorite Deep song because it's like 20 minutes long and everybody got a solo.

[Michael Anthony]

It just keeps. Just when you think it's over, all of a sudden I get it.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, that, that song, like that's how they used to do it. Like, I don't know if the guys in the band would get pissed if they didn't get their solo, but like the guy played the keyboards would get his solo. The bass player get a solo guitar, get a song, be a guy playing a hollowed out fish. He'd get 10 minutes to play that thing. And I go, I guess, I guess back then, you know, now you couldn't go to a radio station with a 6 minute 47 second song and go, hey man, let's get some spins. You know, it'd be like going to a cineplex with a nine hour movie and going, come on, what's up?

[Michael Anthony]

Let's go. And that's why when we first, when we first went on, started this tour, we went out and we played the whole album. I mean, we were barely over an hour long, you know, but then as, as you got comfortable and like you said, then all of a sudden everybody in, in chicken foot, we call it. Everybody getting theirs, you know, I want some. Joe's got to get his. Everyone's got to get his. By the end of the tour, the show, doing basically the same material or the same songs, maybe one or two extra things. We were in excess of two hours, so we were extending it. You know, all of a sudden the bass solo comes in, the extended guitar solos come in, the drum solo.

[Adam Carolla]

So the one hour set goes to a two hour set. When everyone's getting theirs.

[Michael Anthony]

Exactly. Because then everyone's finally getting ours. We just did. We didn't there's the Burnout man. You know, it's actually one of my favorite Deep Purple records because remember Glenn Hughes. And now why my brain farting on the instrument.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, Dio.

[Michael Anthony]

No, White Snake. White Snake singer. Oh, but boy, you know, make me really look like an idiot here now.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Michael Anthony]

David Coverdale.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, Coverdale.

[Michael Anthony]

When they first, when they first joined that band. And I'm good friends with Glenn Hughes. In fact, he's been a couple chicken foot shows. And I mean he's, he's a, he's a great guy. I mean that was a great resurgence for Deep Purple because after Ian Gillen left and that whole thing and Richie Blackmore was gone through a bunch of stuff, you thought that band was dead. They were one of my favorite bands growing up.

[Adam Carolla]

Listening to like loved Burn and love some Highway Star.

[Michael Anthony]

Highway Star, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Enjoyed that song too. And they're both like, just super.

[Michael Anthony]

Yeah, we did. Highway Star was one that we covered during our live show. Yeah. And believe me, that is a lot.

[Adam Carolla]

Doing a good job with that one.

[Michael Anthony]

And believe me, playing that for an encore after we've been doing for two hours what we're doing. I look back and Chad, he's panting like a. Like a dog, man.

[Adam Carolla]

Like, oh, yeah.

[Michael Anthony]

Oh my God. You know.

[Adam Carolla]

No, the thing, if you. Listen, if any of you youngins want to hear some drumming, go ahead and find Burn by Deep Purple and find Highway, Starbucks. And picture playing the drums for those five or six minute songs. Like, I mean, it's serious. Crazy, crazy. And Highway Star covers everything because it talks about their guy's car, talks about his long hair, talks about his old lady. It's all covered in one big rock umbrella, I think Susie from Arcadia.

[Michael Anthony]

Arcadia. Oh my gosh, my hometown there.

[Adam Carolla]

I know.

[Michael Anthony]

How are you? Good. How you doing?

[Adam Carolla]

Doing good. I just actually I just drove through Arcadia about two weeks ago and did a weirdo thing. I. I had some business in like a neighboring town and the guy said like, come back in 20 minutes. And I drove over to my old girlfriend's parents house in Arcadia and just parked my car like a weirdo. Just stared at it for a while. I don't know if you guys ever do that. Does anyone else have that impulse?

[Michael Anthony]

You know what, I do that stuff

[Adam Carolla]

once in a while.

[Michael Anthony]

If you were a person growing up in Arcadia, there is one place that's almost. It's actually a staple in Arcadia. It's a little Mexican restaurant there close to the high school called Tacolita.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Yep.

[Michael Anthony]

Now anybody who's. Anybody who's from Arcadia, knows this. And this place is exactly the way it was when I went to school there in the early 70s. The place looks the same. The people, I think they're relatives of the people who used to. There's this big Mexican woman with way too much eye makeup and whatever. But, I mean, that was the place. And all they've done is give it a new coat of paint. And it looks the same. The food tastes the same. I still go there about three or four times a month and pick up food or eat. There it is.

[Adam Carolla]

Really?

[Michael Anthony]

Yes, I do.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow. There's always a line.

[Michael Anthony]

There's always a line.

[Adam Carolla]

There is.

[Michael Anthony]

And if you're from Arcadia and you don't know Tacolita, you're not from Arcadia.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, you know, it's a very sad testimonial to our moms because our comfort food is fast food. From down the block, we're. Whereas everyone else's comfort food is mom's shepherd pie or Mom's meatloaf. Mine's Henry's Tacos. Thanks, mom. That's my comfort food. Got to go down to Henry's Tacos and get a soft taco.

[Michael Anthony]

So what's happening, Susie?

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

All right, well, my question to you is. You know how they well used to

[Adam Carolla]

say that Van Halen isn't Van Halen without David Lee Roth? Well, they say the same thing about you now. Because without the harmonies, you know, how does that make you feel?

[Michael Anthony]

Well, I mean, I obviously, I appreciate that, you know, and I love everything that I did with Van Halen. I thought our harmonies were pretty distinct sounding, you know, harmonies for a band. And, you know, unfortunately, like, I don't know, I guess, you know, I could use the comparison to a marriage, you know. You know, every things don't always stay lovey dovey forever, and they decided to go their own way. And so, you know, I decided to continue on.

[Adam Carolla]

Seriously, how do you get your voice that high? How do I hold on with my headphones off? Go ahead.

[Michael Anthony]

No, no, I'm not gonna do any kind of scream at him. We're okay there. You know what? It was something, I guess I was just born with. I don't know. When I was growing up in Arcadia,

[Adam Carolla]

asking a guy why his dick is so big he can't tell you.

[Michael Anthony]

Well, you can ask me why my dad.

[Adam Carolla]

No, not that. You know what I'm saying.

[Michael Anthony]

I hang around with Chad Smith and the Chili Peppers. He told me that. He told me their secret.

[Adam Carolla]

So.

[Michael Anthony]

Yes. How do you get those socks to stay on there but you know what? I grew up in a family, older sister and three younger brothers. And we were always yelling and screaming at each other growing up. So maybe that had something to do with it. I don't know.

[Adam Carolla]

I would assume that there's certain things in life that are sort of God given. Almost like some people can mimic other people, some people can do accents really well. Some, that is. And hitting that high. Hitting that high register. I'm going to go ahead and chalk that one up to God given not taking anything away from you. You work for me. That works for me as well.

[Michael Anthony]

But I mean, there's things that obviously you do to, to preserve that. You know, I don't smoke and, you know, I keep the drinking down to, you know, kind of the minimal, you know, and kind of.

[Daniel Pyne]

Right.

[Adam Carolla]

Sammy's probably not excited about you not polishing off a fifth of his cobble tequila every morning. Yeah.

[Michael Anthony]

Oh, that's scary.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, that was a little picture Eddie Van Halen. Now, Eddie probably didn't take it easy with the drinking himself over the years and, you know, things catch up to

[Michael Anthony]

you as you go. You know what, when you're, when you're 20 years old, you're Superman.

[Adam Carolla]

You know, I, I will say this. Physically, Michael Anthony, I don't know what everyone's ages are, but you definitely look the youngest out of all the Van Halen's of yore. Who's the youngest?

[Michael Anthony]

Actually, I'm. I was the second oldest of the Van Halen's, Alex.

[Adam Carolla]

Really?

[Michael Anthony]

Alex is about a. So not quite a year older than, than me and I'm six, seven months older than Eddie.

[Adam Carolla]

And smoking and drinking will catch up to you at a certain. And not eating evidently set up. Does the man eat? Does Eddie Van Halen eat? He just has too fast a metabolism.

[Michael Anthony]

You know, I really. You know what? The dude did have a fast metabolism when we were in the band. I mean, that guy. That guy could eat. I mean, we go stuff, stop at a McDonald's and it'd get like, you know, a couple Big Macs, couple of filet of fish and a sundae and this and that, right? And never put on. And never put on an ounce, you know?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it's gotta suck for Valerie Bertinelli. It's probably why she packed on the weight. It's gotta. There's nothing. The only thing worse than being a chick who's packing on the weight is being married to Skeletor who can't put an ounce on eating twice as much as what you. More. More.

[Michael Anthony]

Give me More?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, there's just no possible way the guy can and put an ounce on and you're just ballooning up right before his very eyes. And the.

[Michael Anthony]

Valerie's looking pretty good now, though.

[Adam Carolla]

I know. Well, you know, she's turned. Everyone has turned this whole packing on the weight.

[Michael Anthony]

That's kind of funny because it was Kiri. You got her going and now Kirsty Alley, I heard is she packed it back. Back on and then some.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, I know, but you can't do the whole. The whole way the payday and the cycle works is you have to balloon up, then you have to shrink down, then you go on Oprah, then you get paid. Now you want another payday. What are you going to do?

[Michael Anthony]

You got it. Yeah. You got to recycle.

[Adam Carolla]

You got to balloon up again and go back down again. It's. It's insane. Look, you know, nothing against unhealthy.

[Michael Anthony]

Well, I guess that's how Oprah. I mean, because Oprah, she kind of goes up and down, up and down, right?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I know. But she has a product in between going up and down. All. All they have is up and down. Like, my wife loves Valerie Bertinelli, and I'm like, why do you love Valerie Bertinelli so much? I don't have a beef with Valerie Bertinelli. I just don't feel like she brings a whole lot to the table.

[Michael Anthony]

When I first met Valerie, she come to our shows, she pissed me off because she'd drink all my Jack Daniels.

[Adam Carolla]

Really?

[Michael Anthony]

Yeah, she, you know.

[Adam Carolla]

Really?

[Michael Anthony]

Yeah, she's able to. She's able to get her buzz on a little bit.

[Adam Carolla]

What? Did not know that about that.

[Michael Anthony]

Well, of course, back then we were all kind of, you know.

[Adam Carolla]

Sure, sure. Living the life.

[Michael Anthony]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

What is. What was the. As far as the cities go or even the countries and the cities in the countries. For someone who's traveled the world a bunch of times with a rock band who's. And don't say Japan. Where are the fans that we don't know about that are absolutely nuts for, like, American rock and roll?

[Michael Anthony]

Yeah. It's funny you say, you know, don't say Japan, because they are actually probably the number one place. But you know what? Chicken foot? We went. We spent a good month over in Europe and we played all over. And you know what? It's kind of pretty universal over there now as far as for American rock bands, you know, obviously you got your more hardcore rock rock fans between the UK and Germany. I mean, they love their rock. I mean, they love It. They love it. I mean, you know. Bend over, baby. Here it comes, right. And so it's always great to play there. And you do get there. The first reaction. If they don't like you, man, they're the first ones to say, hey, this band sucks.

[Adam Carolla]

In Germany.

[Michael Anthony]

In Germany and in the uk and we did very well.

[Adam Carolla]

Don't judge. But they're. They make an exception for the rock bands. So. So who other than the Scorpions. Trying to think. I don't know where UFO was from.

[Michael Anthony]

German rock bands?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Michael Anthony]

Ufo, they were English, you know.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm the only guy who likes ufo by the way, really.

[Michael Anthony]

You know what? Van Halen. We played our first all original set with ufo. Really when we decided we were going to starve and try to make it playing all original music. We played in the city out here, Norwalk. There used to be a place there called the Imperial Ballroom in Van Halen. We'd play there every now and then. It was like. It held like 1500 people. It was like the biggest crowds we were playing to. And we actually were asked to open up for UFO there once. And that's when we actually played our first all original set was opening up for them.

[Adam Carolla]

Ufo. And that's got to be tough because you know when you're good musicians and you're tight band and you're doing cover, you're doing covers and covering hits, you're never gonna go wrong as far as the audience goes. Like you just. They're gonna start cheering every time you start into anything and. But stepping out and playing your own thing. Especially before Van Halen is Van Halen. That's got to be a little bit hair raising ufo. UFO did that thing that I don't know that bands do today, but they had a bunch of hits and they're sort of weird because they got lost in the mix. People, a lot of people don't remember them and I always thought they were a good band, but they did. They. Their big hit was Lights out in London. And they had a big live version of Lights out in London. But every once in a while, somewhere around the fifth time they said Lights out in London, they would change it to the name of the city they were in Lights Out Chicago.

[Michael Anthony]

That was off. There was. I forget their big, their live album they put out, it was from Chicago and he says Lights Out Chicago.

[Adam Carolla]

And there was a big. It's, it's, it's. It's a pretty easy move, but it's a good move.

[Michael Anthony]

Everybody uses that move, you know, hang our chicken you know, every. If. If. You got to deny doing that. Come on.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, you got.

[Michael Anthony]

You got to incorporate the city where you're at in the. Some part of the song, you know. But getting back to the German bands now, I don't know if they were actually. Well, they're actually considered a Nazi band. Ramstein, sure. You know.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I know.

[Michael Anthony]

We. We played over in Europe back in. Oh, my gosh, 95.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, we actually played from Encino. But they're considered a Nazi band. They were pretty crazy.

[Michael Anthony]

Their singer had.

[Allison Rosen]

Was.

[Michael Anthony]

Would light himself. He had all. He had more gas jets coming out of his outfit, man. He'd light himself.

[Adam Carolla]

But as. Let me. Let me ask you this. As an accomplished musician, I. As a comedian, when I see the guy drag the trunk up on stage and start pulling out of the trunk, or the ventriloquist dummy or whatever he's dragging up on stage with him as a command.

[Michael Anthony]

Carrot Top or something.

[Adam Carolla]

There have been other comedians in the past that have used props and things like that. Okay, I just. All right, stop putting pictures up on the goddamn screen. As a comedian, when I see a guy going up there with a steamer trunk, I think, maybe not so funny.

[Michael Anthony]

Right.

[Adam Carolla]

Maybe not a gifted, natural comedian, because I never saw Bill Cosby or Mortgage or Richard Pryor go up there with a trunk full of shit, put a

[Michael Anthony]

chair on stage and sit with a glass of water. Exactly.

[Adam Carolla]

And give me an hour and a half in a microphone. As a musician, when you see the guy out up there wearing the crazy David Byrne suit or working up the pyrotechnics or getting it going to light himself on fire or coming out there like GWAR or something. Do you think maybe not the greatest bass player in the land?

[Michael Anthony]

Well, you. You know, they're definitely depending on something other than the talent, the musical talent, you know, they kind of maybe divert away from the lack of musical talent to fill in the gap there, you know?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Like when the bass is shaped like a sickle and everyone's wearing like a, you know, everyone dressed like a druid or something, you start to think to yourself, maybe these guys aren't virtuoso musicians. Right?

[Michael Anthony]

Yeah. Well, you know, when you play live, you actually, you know, you have to pull some kind of. You know, unlike a comedian as yourself, where you can purely rely on just your mental faculties. Faculties to pull it off. You know, when you see a band, you know, you want to see some visual. Because otherwise you might as well just sit home and put the album on and put your headphones on and do that. But there is a point to where you either go over the top, you know, you can enhance it, enhance the performance or go over the top and

[Adam Carolla]

it, well, how would it work? I mean, financially, you know, you hear about these big tours and there's 1018 wheelers full of equipment and techniques and you've done all that, right? And I'm just saying mathematically you think, and maybe the promoters or your managers work on this, but you tell me what you think. So math. Mathematically you go from stadium to stadium to big venue to big venue, you just crisscross the globe, right? And you guys get a percentage of whatever, how many tickets you sell and how, how, how, how much money the tour generates, right? But for every 18 wheeler filled with shit, you got to take a little off the top. That, that's one more dollar.

[Michael Anthony]

You're your hundred plus employees that are out with you. You know, everybody to make the show

[Adam Carolla]

with the per diem's and once in a while you gotta bail them out of the joint and all that kind of shit, right? So for every big stage show again, for every 18 wheeler and every guy who's working a pyro grid or whatever, a little bit's coming out of your pocket.

[Michael Anthony]

Exactly.

[Adam Carolla]

Where do you stop? Like, are you raising your hand? Band going, let's strip this one down a little and do a little, you know, play it a little.

[Michael Anthony]

Well, that's like, that's like, that's like where bands like Kiss or, you know, a band that heavily relies on a lot of that big stage show and spend, I mean, millions of dollars putting something like that together. Unfortunately, a lot of these bands, they pass, they pass all that expense right on to the, the fan, you know, because that's why all of a sudden fans are paying, paying outrageous prices to go see the shows, you know, because then all of a sudden, you know, the promoter's got to make his now and this guy's got to make his because the band wants, you know, they need, you know, let's face it, you know, you want to, you need to get paid to put all that on and pay all those people. And Van Halen, even though I don't think we ever went over the top with any of that kind of stuff we did at one point before, like, you know, lighting systems and sound systems, they can make them more compact and still sound just as big, right? We take a big light show out on tour and we have, you know, 100, 150 people out on tour with us and you Know, that's, that's, that's a lot of money.

[Adam Carolla]

Plus you got to get everyone a silk jacket at the end of the tour.

[Michael Anthony]

Yeah, everyone's got to have their, everyone's got to have their tour jacket, you know, or their ring or whatever.

[Adam Carolla]

Who opened for Van Halen? You guys, you were telling me about going out and doing, opening for UFO over the years. I mean, with the Hagar years and the Roth years, you guys must have had a lot of bands open for you that weren't necessarily household names at the time or as big as they are now or became. Were there some that jumped to mind?

[Michael Anthony]

Yeah, yeah. What Van Halen we always tried to do because we were never, you know, whenever we were opening up for like an Aerosmith or Ted Nugent or someone like that, we'd see these bands. They'd always look at it like a big competition. Oh, we got Van Halen. We're going to blow them off the stage every night. You know, we got them on the bill because they'll sell tickets and whatever. And we never looked at it like that. We always looked at it like it's a show. We want to party and be friends with the bands and whatever. So we did take bands out that were like first time bands, maybe a first record out or not relatively unknown, and expose them to, you know, to our crowd or whatever. Probably one of the more popular, popular bands or would become more popular that came out and toured with us on their first tour was Alice in Chains.

[Adam Carolla]

Really?

[Michael Anthony]

They, they just put their first album out and they were relatively unknown. But like Collective Soul was another band who did their first tour. They, they barely even had their first hit out. But we are.

[Adam Carolla]

How do you find them? Like, who tells you? Does somebody, hey, check this out, or does their manager call you?

[Michael Anthony]

We would have people say, hey, I've heard of this one band. And you know, either would put the feelers out or if just friends, we know, you know, obviously it's not like today where you just go onto YouTube and.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Michael Anthony]

You know, you can plug in anything you want, but.

[Adam Carolla]

So you got hooked up with Ramstein?

[Michael Anthony]

Well, kind of, yeah. Ramstein and Bon Jovi and Jovi in Europe. That was a real treat, that tour.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow.

[Michael Anthony]

But and then also a lot of times back then, because we were on the Warner Brothers label, like they might have a new base band. Hey, we're just signing this band. And so obviously that would, you know, pair one of their up and coming bands or a band they just signed with.

[Adam Carolla]

You sure? Yeah, it makes Sense. We got another question, by the way.

[Michael Anthony]

Question. Oh, my God.

[Adam Carolla]

Tim from San Francisco's got a question from San Francisco.

[Michael Anthony]

Oh, Tim, it's not.

[Adam Carolla]

How you doing? How you doing, Mike?

[Michael Anthony]

What's going on, dude?

[Adam Carolla]

Sitting home sick. Just me and my bong and listen to some Corolla podcast. Thank you.

[Michael Anthony]

Sick with your bong, boy. Okay, well. Well, I guess it could be worse.

[Adam Carolla]

It can. Can always be worse than that swine

[Michael Anthony]

flu or something or. You okay?

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, I'm getting better. Good enough to be around. I'll go down and hit the heavy bag a little bit later today. So, you know, let me tell you, this is why you gotta. You gotta wipe that bong with a nice sanitary wipe before you pass it to friends. God knows how much disease is being passed around just via the joint.

[Michael Anthony]

Have your little pack.

[Adam Carolla]

The smoke will kill all the germs.

[Michael Anthony]

Have your little pack of Purell there

[Adam Carolla]

with you or something. You know, wipe it on the rim. Yeah. Wait a minute. I just came with a new idea. You know those ass gaskets they have at the airport and stuff that they put on the toilet seat? How about something for bongs? You know what I mean? Just a liner that you put on there. Your guy takes a. There you go.

[Michael Anthony]

Or you sell a bong with, you know, you see those little pure, little. Little dispensers. Hand sanitizer you have when it's on the side of the bung.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Michael Anthony]

So, you know, before you pass it, you got to pump a little hand sanitizer on.

[Adam Carolla]

Eventually you get so baked you think it was a good idea to drink the Purell, and then you'd have a lawsuit on your hands. What about a joint condom?

[Michael Anthony]

Yeah, for, you know, like a little

[Adam Carolla]

kind of dunce cap thing that you put on the tip. I've handed. I've had guys hand me joints that seemed like they were, like, soaking wet. Dipped in something.

[Michael Anthony]

Like in something. Oh, I know, but I just mean.

[Adam Carolla]

What I mean is, like, it's weird because I've taken drags off guys, cigarettes that were just bone dry. They just say, let me have a barge off that cigarette. They hand your cigarette drag off. It's bone dry. But I've had joints that seem like someone just dipped it into, like, paraffin or something. Yeah. Or like cod liver oil or something. Like, how did this get so wet?

[Michael Anthony]

It's like you think you're gonna drink

[Adam Carolla]

iced tea, and all of a sudden

[Michael Anthony]

you do it and it's Diet Coke.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Or milk.

[Michael Anthony]

Exactly. That's when you really start Looking at who your fellow bong, your fellow partners are here. Hopefully they don't have any scabs or any unsightly looking, you know.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Michael Anthony]

Oh, wait, Tim, what's happening?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, sorry. Hello? Hello? Sorry.

[Michael Anthony]

Go ahead.

[Adam Carolla]

Sorry. Can you hear me? We can hear you. Can you hear me? Great. I'm back. All right, so my original question, ace. I was calling to talk about Manny Pacquiao. All right. I've been watching the 24 7s recently and seems like he's getting a little soft and he's not really in tune with Freddie Roach. And I'm wondering what, what you're feeling about all that. We're talking boxing right now. The big Cotto Pacquiao fight coming up in Vegas and 20247 from HBO's the documentary that shows these guys. If you like documentaries, by the way, or you like boxing, you'll be into it. You have to understand that whenever somebody is doing a program, they can, they have hundreds of hours of footage and they can edit it in such a way that it can be compelling. They do that all the time with these so called reality shows where they show the chick A and it's between Brad and Steve. And then they show her going, I don't like Brad so much. And you're thinking, wow, Brad's so good looking. Brad's like the number one guy. And then they come back and she goes, I'll take Brad. And you go, wait a minute, how about the edit? They're trying to throw you off a little bit. So they're trying to create drama. So as far as Freddie Roach goes and Manny Pacquiao, I don't know which one of them is easier or harder to understand at this, at this stage. They are creating something in an edit bay. Here's the reality. This is a pay per view. I've never thought about this, but I'm going to go ahead and play my conspiracy theory here. Are you ready? I'm ready. It's an HBO pay per view, right? Yeah. They're getting money from this pay per view. Manny Pacquiao is the pound for pound champion right now. Considered unbeatable and in his prime. Many people might not be interested in a Pacquiao fight as far as paying 60 bucks for a pay per view because it just looks like he's going to knock out everyone in the second round. If you're HBO and you're putting together a documentary leading into this fight, you should make the guy who's a 10 to 1 favorite look like it's even Money. And the way you do that is when you edit it, you make Cotto look like he's having a great camp. And you have Pacquiao look like he's not having a great camp. And now you go, you know what? I wasn't going to get that pay per view because I knew Pacquiao was going to walk right through him. Now maybe I'll shell out the 6495 because this could be interesting. Him and Roach are having a little problem. He went to Manila and it got rained out. Now he had to come back and interrupt his training. And he's doing too much time monkeying around like David Lee Roth on his stupid movie projects instead of focusing on what's important to music. Man. That's good to hear. So good to hear it. Just editing it that way. All right, that's good. Because I'm. I'm a fan of the people's champ, you know, and I was getting a little disappointed in seeing them portrayed so soft. He's. He's a warrior. He'll be ready when he gets in the ring. And hbo and HBO will make their money. HBO make their money. And it behooves its entertainment. And what you really don't want to do is create a documentary that makes you think the favorite's going to walk right over the guy who's a five to one dog. Thanks. Well, they're going to get my money either way. I wish they'd keep it more to the truth, but that's, that's real good to hear. And listen, whatever you're doing, please have your accountant call my accountant. Because you're sitting home smoking weed all day. You're going to hit the heavy bag later on. It's the middle of the week. It's the middle of the day and you got 65 bucks to throw away on the Pacquiao fight. What's going right for you? Did you invent something, Chris?

[Michael Anthony]

Oh, he's not talking. He's not talking. He ain't gonna. He ain't gonna let you in on that.

[Adam Carolla]

Fine. All right. Well, anyway, that's the, that's the path he's taking.

[Michael Anthony]

That new bong idea he's gonna run with.

[Adam Carolla]

He's running with my bong liner idea. Geez, I thought we were really ahead of the curve when Donnie had a six shooter on his bong. Load up six bowls and slide one over. No, you didn't have the turn. Six shooter, sliding, ratcheting one.

[Michael Anthony]

I got both.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I'll bring them in. You bring. I Got the round one and the slider. Six shooter, slide one and the turn one. But either way, if you, if you were too lazy to load up a separate bowl for everyone, it was really the wor. It was a novelty pot smoking idea. Yeah. Because it would get all resin gummed up and then it wouldn't turn or slide. Yeah. They should have just, they should have just called it like a three shooter. The problem with the six shooters, a seed would catch on fire, burst into flames and pop into one of the other bowls and then set that one on fire too.

[Michael Anthony]

All of a sudden everyone's scrambling. Yeah, come on. It's going up, it's going up.

[Adam Carolla]

A lot of seeds popping back in the day. All right, Michael Anthony, that's all we have time for. Chicken foot. Name of the band, name of the tour. Name of. Is it name of the cd by the way?

[Michael Anthony]

It's the name of the CD also. And we actually were working on. We are finishing up a live DVD that we, we filmed during the course of this tour that's going to be coming out. We have a new D DVD special edition deluxe edition package that we just put out through Best Buy right now.

[Adam Carolla]

Where can people go if they just want to find out the tour dates or find out about the dvd?

[Michael Anthony]

You go to Chickenfoot Us, that's our official website. Or if you have an iPhone, if you're an iPhone user, there is actually a chicken foot application. You can get download free for your iPhone and get all the information, tours, videos, songs, everything.

[Adam Carolla]

Michael's also a car nut and we will bring him back for the car cast sooner than later.

[Michael Anthony]

Yes, we will. I am partners. My partner Brad and I, we own a company called Bond Speed. Forged billet aluminum wheels and anything that's all car related.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Michael Anthony]

We are into. So we're going to come back and bring a couple of our sweet rides

[Adam Carolla]

by and see, there's the high pitched voice you were longing for. Well, we are. We will be waiting with bated breath. Until next time, this is Adam Carolla from Michael Anthony saying mahalo. Ow. That was Adam Corolla Show 199 with Michael Anthony from Van Halen. That does it for this weekend's Scroll Classics.

[Allison Rosen]

Make sure to tune next weekend for

[Adam Carolla]

three all new installments. Until then, mahalo and get it off.

[Michael Anthony]

Pluto TV has thousands of free movies and TV shows.

[Adam Carolla]

We're coming at you with everything we got. This is the minus mindset.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Free.

[Adam Carolla]

This is the mantra. Free.

[Michael Anthony]

This is the mindset mindset.

[Adam Carolla]

With movies like Pineapple Express, the entire Star Trek film franchise and Gladiator. And TV shows like Survivor, SpongeBob SquarePants, the Fairly Odd Parents and Ghosts, Pluto TV is always free. Huzzah. Pluto TV. Stream now pay. Never.

[Michael Anthony]

Pluto TV has thousands of free movies and TV shows.

[Adam Carolla]

We're coming at you with everything we got. This is the mindset. Free. This is the mantra. Free.

[Michael Anthony]

This is the mindset.

[Adam Carolla]

With movies like Pineapple Express, the entire Star Trek film franchise and Gladiator, and TV shows like Survivor, SpongeBob SquarePants, the Fairly Odd Parents and Ghosts, Pluto TV is always free. Huzzah. Pluto TV. Stream now pay. Never.