Dildos vs ICE Agents?! John Crist on Protests, Karens & Comedy

Summary

Adam Carolla Show Summary

Episode: Dildos vs ICE Agents?! John Crist on Protests, Karens & Comedy

Date: April 14, 2026
Guests: John Crist (comedian), Rudy Pavich (news), with studio banter and news/hot topics.

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Main Theme

This episode opens with Adam Carolla and guests riffing on viral coverage of ICE (Immigration and Customs Enforcement) protests where demonstrators hand out and wield dildos. The show explores protest culture, shifting social norms, the fall of traditional “Karens,” gender identity, identity politics, and the comedic lens through which Adam interprets America’s current social absurdities. Additional highlights include cultural observations about motorcycles, consumerism, women ordering coffee, political narcissism (with Jennifer Newsom as a prime example), and the emptiness of political word-salad rhetoric.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

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[03:37-14:53] Dildos as Protest Tools & the Absurdity of Modern Activism

• Adam Carolla rails on the viral phenomenon of protesters using bags of dildos to confront ICE agents, riffing on the uselessness and spectacle of such activism.
• Mechanical Humor: Adam compares the choice of a dildo as a protest weapon to absurd tool choices in construction:

  “I've done a lot of demo and I've never reached for a dildo... Is that a finishing dildo?...No, that's a framing dildo. You can tell, they have a waffle head on them.” (05:56)

• Comedic Spin: Panel jokes about "Big Dildo" being the new "Big Pharma," profiting off mass protests and demand surges.

  “Most people maybe one dildo in their life, and a dildo will last you 15 to 30 years... But if you’re making multiple dildos and they're just throwing them at ICE agents—this is good for you, Big Dildo!” (11:30)

• Protester Psychology: Adam asserts that most activists don’t want solutions:

  “They're so dildo-oriented that they can't get out of their own dildo box...Nobody threatening someone with a dildo is looking for a solution.” (07:22)

• Wasted Energy:

  “Spending a Saturday standing in front of an iron gate and beating it with a dildo... seems like a road for frustration for me.” (09:37)

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[14:53-18:52] Social Decay, Karens, and Enforcers of Dignity

• Loss of Dignity: Adam reminisces about times when women, especially so-called "Karens," were the moral and behavioral enforcers, shaming public misbehavior.

  “The keepers of dignity were women and they're fucking gone.” (15:11)

• Why Social Order Deteriorates:

  “We told [Karens] all to shut up...And now they shut up. We're running wild and we're running dildos.” (16:10)

• Rise of Pseudo-Authorities: Broadway (Nashville) example—Adam complains about “cops that aren’t cops,” i.e., private security acting as semi-authorities, reflecting a loss of community self-regulation.

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[18:52-27:30] Motorcycle (and Minibike) Culture, Ethnicity, and Gender

• Racial/Ethnic Stereotypes and Vehicle Choices:
  • Black riders prefer slingshots (two wheels in front, one back) and “rice rockets” (Japanese sportbikes with extended swing arms).
  • Whites have a broader range (Harleys, Ducatis, choppers).
  • Mexicans love minibikes, forming whole gangs around them.
• Weight, Aging, Gender:
  • Adam weaves a comedic analogy between bike choice and the “size” of women on the back:

    “When you go from the two wheeler Harley to the three wheel trike... that means the old lady's put some weight on.” (19:03)

• Sartorial Analogies:
  • Sweatpants, like Gold Wings or three-wheelers, are “gateways to a fat ass.”

    “A sweatsuit will never tell you when you're fat...That’s a gateway dress.” (26:25)

• Comedic Whiteboard: Adam provides tongue-in-cheek “rules” for which bike suits which partner, with Ducati for “waif models,” choppers for slim partners, Gold Wings for the “spread out” phase, and three-wheelers as the final signal of morbid obesity.

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[33:34-35:28] Vehicle Customization and Cultural Identity

• Lowrider Culture:

  “Mexicans have whole minibike gangs out here...They're so committed to their horrible forms of transportation that they make lowrider bicycles.” (34:28)

• Economic Priorities: Whites think of resale value, while other groups may invest disproportionate amounts into non-remunerative customization, tying economic behaviors to group identity.

  “White person does a Renault to their house...How’s this going to affect resale?” (38:26)

• Sound as Annoyance: Both black and white car/motorcycle customizers discussed in terms of intent to draw attention/annoy, not necessarily for utility.

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[54:28-60:16] Women, Coffee Orders, and Narcissism

• The Ritual of Starbucks:
  • Adam explores how women treat coffee ordering as performative, relishing complex orders and small disappointments.

    “They like ordering around other women and they like mild disappointment.” (54:56)

• Societal Change:
  • “You didn't touch [coffee] if you're under like 20...Now I need it. I need coffee ubiquitous.” (57:28)
• Masculine/Feminine Divide:
  • Adam views the “tailor made, specific stuff” as making people feel special; in his view, the endless pursuit of unique orders is emblematic of a culture obsessed with being individually catered to.

  “Anyone can just order a medium coffee. But there's gotta be... They're telling you: they love ordering the bitches around and the mild disappointment when they don't [get their way].” (59:19)

• Efficiency vs. Performance: Adam, by contrast, values speed, no-nonsense choices, and says, “I'm going to do something. I don't want to be here.” (60:00)

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[60:33-71:26] Modern Political Narcissism and Jennifer Newsom Skewered

• Adam targets Gavin Newsom’s wife, Jennifer as emblematic of “progressive, narcissistic, self-promoting activism.”

  “She filmed herself...talking about herself. When I witness something unjust, I cannot stay silent...None of these people ever go, 'Sometimes when I clean my ear out real good, I like to sniff my finger.'” (62:45)

• Hero Complex & Emptiness:

  "My entire life's work is surrounded by the notion we need more human decency in this world." (64:13) “She lives in an $8M mansion and does nothing.” (63:00)

• Absence of Solutions:
  • Adam and Rudy note that such figures (both Newsom and dildo protesters) never really specify what concrete changes they seek, but are absorbed in “standing up,” endless process, and vague calls to action.

  “We're going to stand up and we're going to push back. You know what? I'm gonna arm myself with a dildo, and I'm gonna stand up and I'm gonna push back with my dildo.” (63:45)

• Victimhood of the Privileged:

  “How much better does she really deserve? ...She doesn’t fucking do anything all day.” (70:03)

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[81:01-86:07] Political News: Sexual Assault, Competence vs. Character, Kamala Harris

• Eric Swalwell withdraws from governor’s race amid allegations:
  • Adam controversially argues the trade-off between moral character and effective governance.

  “I would take a rapist who was super competent at running California vs. a non-rapist who's running California into the ground.” (81:26)

• Kamala Harris “Word Salad” Rhetoric:
  • Adam and Rudy laugh at Harris's non-answer to a basic question about inflation, critical of politicians’ inability to answer or propose solutions.

  “She’s killing time...If you're gonna be the vice president or you'd like to be the president, have some thoughts about inflation.” (89:28)

  • “That's about having to stress and stretch limited resources...So it is something that we take very seriously.” – Kamala Harris (87:52)
• Estrogenic Emptiness:
  • Carolla:

    “This is the problem with women. Women like this shit. Women like we're talking about nothing forever and nothing ever changes...You know who loves nothing talk the most? Black women. That's why they vote 92% Democrat. They're the fucking word salad talkers.” (96:41)

• Panel notes: Empty platitudes pervade both political parties. Adam craves tangible answers:

  “I didn't ask for a description of what inflation was. I asked about how you are going to eradicate it...” (97:01)

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[97:14-103:29] Tribute: Sid & Marty Krofft

• Sid Krofft dies at 96. Adam is blunt but respectful, recognizing Krofft’s impact as a creative force (HR Puffnstuff, Land of the Lost), but still labels their shows as “some of the worst TV...ever created.”

  “Basically, a big bowl of Styrofoam packing peanuts that came in a brightly colored box with a shitty prize in it...Hard at work doing what? Warming over steaming piles of cat shit...” – reading from his book (101:04)

• Despite harsh words, Adam admits Sid was a “gentle, kind guy” and a genuine creative, illustrating his ability to separate art from artist.

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[103:29-105:16] Sabrina Carpenter, Coachella, and Cultural Sensitivity

• Viral Moment: Sabrina Carpenter chides a yodeler at her Coachella performance; audience member claims “that’s my culture,” sparking an online debate about respect and “Islamophobia.”
• Adam's take:

  “No one gives a fuck about your culture. Shut up...Go back to your shithole country and be offended there, where you'll be beheaded.” (105:15)

• Adam expresses fatigue with constant demands for cultural deference and with all forms of identity politics.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

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On Protest Spectacle & Futility

• “Nobody threatening someone with a dildo is looking for a solution. I will say that right now. When you brandish a dildo, you're not solution oriented.”
  — Adam Carolla (07:22)

On Social Norms & Karens

• “The keepers of dignity were women and they're fucking gone.”
  — Adam Carolla (15:11)

On Cultural Stereotypes and Vehicles

• “Black guys are all over the slingshot. None of them next to that hog trike thing. That's all white dudes.”
  — Adam Carolla (19:02)

On Consumerism & Resale Value

• “Every time a white person does a Renault to their house, they go, how's this going to affect resale?”
  — Rudy Pavich (38:26)

On Women & Coffee Rituals

• “They like ordering around other women and they like mild disappointment.”
  — Adam Carolla (54:56)

On Jennifer Newsom’s Narcissism

• “None of these people ever go, sometimes when I clean my ear out real good, I like to sniff my finger.”
  — Adam Carolla (62:45)

On Platitudes in Politics

• “This is the problem with women. Women like this shit. Women like we're talking about nothing forever and nothing ever changes...”
  — Adam Carolla (96:41)
• Kamala Harris: “That's about having to stress and stretch limited resources. That's about a source of stress for families.” (87:52)

On Cultural Fatigue

• “No one gives a fuck about your culture. Shut up...Go back to your shithole country and be offended there, where you'll be beheaded.”
  — Adam Carolla (105:15)

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Important Segment Timestamps

• 03:37 — Show kicks off; “ICE Dildo Protest” segment begins
• 07:22 — Protester motivation riff: “nobody threatening someone with a dildo is looking for a solution.”
• 14:53 — Dignity, “Karens,” and social order
• 18:52 — Motorcycle culture and gender/ethnic stereotypes
• 33:34 — Customization, culture, loud vehicles, lowriders
• 54:28 — Coffee orders and performance
• 60:33 — Jennifer Newsom’s self-promotional video dissection
• 81:01 — Eric Swalwell controversy, competence vs. character
• 87:52 — Kamala Harris "inflation word salad"
• 97:14 — Sid Krofft obituary and critique
• 103:29 — Sabrina Carpenter, Coachella, and “my culture” yodeling moment

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Overall Tone & Style

• Irreverent, raw, and highly comedic
• Signature Adam Carolla: Blunt, occasionally profane, hyperbolic, and sarcastic
• Willingness to offend, critique, and poke fun at all sides—political or cultural

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Useful For:

• Fans of uncensored observational comedy
• Listeners who enjoy keen, if controversial, takes on social trends and political rhetoric
• People interested in contemporary American protest culture, media personalities, and “identity politics”—with laughs

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For More

Visit AdamCarolla.com or search “Adam Carolla Show” on YouTube for full video episodes and extra content.

Transcript

[Adam Carolla]

In this episode, comedian John Crist is back. Also, Rudy's back. He's doing the news and we'll do all that right after this. Thanks for tuning in to the Adam Carolla Show. You can watch the full show on YouTube. Just search Adam Carolla show and hit subscribe so you never miss an episode. You can also get the podcast wherever you like to listen. And for extra content, ad free episodes and more, you can head over to our substack and sign up today. This is Adam Carolla from the Adam Carolla Show. If you care about sports, you care about moments. And right now, they're everywhere. March madness is tightening and the road to the 2026 World cup soccer is heating up. From the Sweet 16 to international test matches, Betonline is built for fans who don't just watch. They track, study and stay ahead. College hoops is down to the best of the best. Tighter games, sharper lines and props that actually matter. At the same time, international football is building toward the biggest tournament in the world. Betonline delivers it all. Live betting, instant updates and in game odds that move with every possession on the court and every attack on the pitch. The $50,000 Sweet 16 bracket contest is live. A fresh chance to get in, build it right, and take your shot. While the road to 2026 continues to unfold, big moments don't wait. Bet online. The game starts here. Fast Growing Trees. Did you know Fast Growing Trees is America's largest and most trusted online n. They have thousands of trees and plants and over 2 million happy customers. They have all the plants your yard needs, grown with care and guaranteed to arrive healthy. I've moved around a lot and Fast Growing Trees helps me make my dream yard. Every time I'm moving again and I'm using Fast Growing trees again, all you have to do is just click, order and grow. I recently just ordered some more and my family, well, they couldn't be happier. It's a great look. It's Fast Growing trees, right Dawson?

[Dawson]

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[Jennifer Newsom]

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[Adam Carolla]

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[Dawson]

Corolla 1 Studios in Glendale, California. This is the Adam Corolla Show. Adam's guest today, comedian John Crist. And the news with Rudy Pavich. And now, Adam Carolla.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, get it on. Got to get it on. A choice, but again on mandate. You get it on. Thanks for tuning in. Thanks for telling a friend. Comedian JOHN Chris is very back in the studio. He's got dates all over the place. Very funny standup. He's got dates coming up in El Paso, Tucson, and John Crist Comedy. It's C-R-I-S-T Comedy.com is where you go for all live dates. Good to see you again, Jeff.

[Rudy Pavich]

Hey, get it on, brother. Honored to be back, bro.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. I got stuff to talk about.

[Rudy Pavich]

That's what I was just asking you.

[Adam Carolla]

With you? Yeah. No, I sit around and think and then write stuff down. All different kinds of pieces of paper. And then I gather all the papers together like Howard Hughes.

[Rudy Pavich]

Cause you're off on the weekend. So you go, what am I gonna. Oh, I gotta talk about this. And then somebody says something. You go, I gotta. And then it just jumbles around in

[Adam Carolla]

your head for 40 hours. Well, it kind of depends. Cause now if I'm doing stand up on the weekend, then I'll go up and talk about stuff I was thinking about. Like, I was just got back from Utah, and before I went on stage, I saw all these clips of these ICE protesters handing out dildos. Cause they're now protesting with dildos.

[Rudy Pavich]

That'll do it.

[Adam Carolla]

And there was like bags of dildos and they're handing them out. And then there's all this footage of them smacking with these dildos. Again. They're carrying around bags of dildos and that'll do it. They're handing out all the dildos and then they're gonna beat the ICE guys with the dongs, I guess.

[Rudy Pavich]

I mean, it's not AI.

[Adam Carolla]

That's not AI. I wish it was AI. And then they're. And then they're going up against iron gates and they're banging the iron gates outside of the. Outside of the ICE detention centers with dildos. Which I look. Okay, first off, I've been in construction for a long time and I've done a lot of demo and I've never reached for a dildo. You know what I mean? Now, let me wait.

[Dawson]

Is that a finishing dildo?

[Adam Carolla]

No, that's a framing dildo. Okay. Okay. You can tell the framing dildos have a waffle head on them. All right. The finished ones are smooth head, more of an uncut, like a European type dildo. Now when I go turn it down. What. What I do is I go with like a 22oz Vaughn hatchet handle dildo. That's what I'll do. That's kind of my weapon of choice.

[Guest/Contributor]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Like, if I was trying to get this iron fence down, I would either use a sawzall or right angle wheel, you know, with a cutting, like a carborundum blade on it. But pounding on it with a dildo,

[Rudy Pavich]

you're in the ICE office, you come, you. There's a lot of protests going on and you go out, you go, oh, no, we're good. We're good. Yeah, I wouldn't worry. Yeah, we're just fine.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, someone is going to get killed because they brandish a dildo and somebody thinks it's a gun or a knife or something. We're living. We are about four months away from like expert testimony in a courthouse where a guy's like, Ron Jeremy's up there going, a dildo can cause harm. It can cause harm.

[Rudy Pavich]

It depends on the length.

[Adam Carolla]

It depends on the length. Obviously, this guy looked like he got a run and start.

[Rudy Pavich]

Yeah. Well done. It seem to you like they don't want a solution. That person doesn't want. You go, what do you want? I ask him what you want.

[Adam Carolla]

They wouldn't know. There's a couple things. A. I would, I would, I would agree with you. They're not looking for solutions because they're so dildo oriented that they can't get out of their own dildo box or dildo way. So nobody threatening someone with a dildo is looking for a solution. I will say that right now, when you brandish a dildo, you're not solution oriented. You're not what I would call pragmatic.

[Dawson]

Yeah. Also, these people have never been in couples therapy because the first thing they'll teach you is never use sex as a weapon.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right.

[Dawson]

And they're breaking that rule.

[Adam Carolla]

Pat Benatar said it very well in one of her songs. So they don't seem solution oriented. Also, they seem like they Must be unhappy, because to me, what would make me the least happy is to sort of repetitively do something that brought no results, right? So when all those white women, like, go out front and they dress up like the ladies from the HBO show, and they stand there and they make some sort of song up, that's like, We Will Overcome. But they put Trump's name and they put tyranny in there, and they just stand there holding a candle through a paper plate. And there goes Saturday. There goes Saturday. Meanwhile, Trump's on the back nine at Augusta. He has no fucking idea what you idiots do it.

[Rudy Pavich]

They're on the. On the four or five. On the way down here, there's an overpass that said bunch of white people, right? Saying, trump doesn't care about you, Right? I go, we know, yeah. Or, okay, yeah, he doesn't know.

[Adam Carolla]

It's not affecting him. So who thought you.

[Rudy Pavich]

Fine.

[Adam Carolla]

Like, I'll tell you what would be super frustrating for me if somebody said, adam, I got you a can of chili, but you have to open it with a dildo. And I just sat there and just pounded the dildo. After about two hours of that, I'd go, I am so fucking frustrated. This is the worst Friday of my life. Like, I. I'm upset now. I so.

[Rudy Pavich]

Waste of a day standing still.

[Adam Carolla]

Waste of a day. Spending a Saturday standing in front of an iron gate and beating it with a dildo. Seems like a road for frustration for me.

[Rudy Pavich]

I would feel scared if I, as a man. You have the whole bag out there.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Rudy Pavich]

Which one do you want?

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, right.

[Rudy Pavich]

I don't wanna.

[Adam Carolla]

Can't have thoughts.

[Rudy Pavich]

Oh, you don't want to chew? No, I don't like that one. I like this.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. My date. Yeah. You issue. Yeah. You can't go. I already got this one. Hold on, let me pull one out. There you go. Yeah, I packed this baby.

[Rudy Pavich]

Do they give you one or do you choose from the bag?

[Adam Carolla]

You know, my thing is.

[Rudy Pavich]

Is that's hilarious.

[Adam Carolla]

I think I can kind of size up a guy in a sort of dildo preference just by looking at him. You know what I mean? It's like a gift. Like, I got you. Like, listen, sometimes let me figure out what you want. I see some. Some young protester in there, and he'll be like, I want the mega double ended dong. And I'm like, son, that's too much dildo for you.

[Rudy Pavich]

He bit off more than he could chew.

[Adam Carolla]

Maybe next week, maybe next month. Like, why don't we start you out with, like, a Six incher and a little limp.

[Rudy Pavich]

Let's start.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, let's start something. I don't want to see you get hurt. You could hurt yourself. Don't run with this dildo, son.

[Rudy Pavich]

You think you're going to get hurt? Do you think everybody. I'm guessing a parade or a protest. You've never been to either?

[Adam Carolla]

No.

[Rudy Pavich]

Okay. What's institute? You get one. Because when you're going to multiple. On the first it was Covid, then it was ice, then it was the Mask, then it was the blm.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. Right.

[Rudy Pavich]

Oh, you're. If you get one, you're like, they really care about this.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Rudy Pavich]

But it's the same.

[Adam Carolla]

It's the same group of dildo wielding.

[Rudy Pavich]

They've been in another protest.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. George Soros told you to pick up that dildo. He paid for the dildos.

[Rudy Pavich]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

By the way, if you're in the dildo manufacturing business.

[Rudy Pavich]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

This is good news.

[Rudy Pavich]

Big for you.

[Adam Carolla]

This is big because most people maybe one dildo in their life, and a dildo will last you 15 to 30 years. Like, I don't have enough time on this planet left to go through multiple dildos.

[Rudy Pavich]

I've never seen one in real life.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm going to die with the dildo. I have. But if you're. If you're making multiple dildos and they're just throwing them at ice agents than

[Rudy Pavich]

if you've ever seen in one time.

[Adam Carolla]

Dildo.

[Rudy Pavich]

Yeah. In a multiple. They. They. They cleaned out the Amazon.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, so the WNBA is good now because they're no longer chucking them at the ladies on the wnb.

[Rudy Pavich]

Those are the same. The people were though Those. That's the opposite side. Those are different.

[Adam Carolla]

Dild crowd. Yeah.

[Rudy Pavich]

Who's.

[Adam Carolla]

Like, who?

[Rudy Pavich]

Big dildos. Like, who's. Who's claiming us?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Rudy Pavich]

Wasn't it?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Well, Big Dildo is in the business of selling dildos.

[Rudy Pavich]

Oh, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

They don't care.

[Rudy Pavich]

They don't care. Good point.

[Adam Carolla]

I told this to Dr. Drew a million years ago when he was. I was talking about Big Pharma and oxycontin and all the pain pills. I'm like, look, people are taking 100 pills a day. They love it. And he's like, they don't like it. I go, why? If you're in the business of selling painkillers, I love it. And you get a bunch of junkies that are doing 50 a day versus me, who takes three every seven years when I get a root canal. Well, then you're doing business.

[Rudy Pavich]

You're making yeah. You're hiring.

[Adam Carolla]

Big Pharma and Big Dildo are not so different.

[Rudy Pavich]

No.

[Adam Carolla]

At all.

[Dawson]

They might have been in working with the wnba. It might have produced that whole thing. Because I'll tell you what, nothing would make me watch the NBA more.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Dawson]

Than knowing that at one point during the game, possibly a dildo is going

[Adam Carolla]

to hit the floor.

[Rudy Pavich]

Yeah. Remember that.

[Dawson]

Remember when Redding markets.

[Adam Carolla]

I've gotten their newsletter. They say it's about supply and demand. That's what they do. And I'm like, nice, nice.

[Rudy Pavich]

Remember at the begin when Red Bull came out, Red Bull came out. They would just like. I heard their market. They would just, like, put empty cans around.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Rudy Pavich]

They were like, must. People must be.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Rudy Pavich]

There's more dildo discussion now in the past year than has the. Like. There's a lot of.

[Adam Carolla]

So maybe they are handing out these things. That's what Red Bull did.

[Dawson]

That's what Red Bull did. I. Everybody had a friend in college who was a Red Bull guy and just would give it away. That's how.

[Rudy Pavich]

That's how it got. Maybe there was a. There was a meeting. And they go, we have a lightsaber. We got a sword. We got a. And they all presented. What would be the. What would be the. When we're going out to protest, what's

[Adam Carolla]

the weapon of choice?

[Rudy Pavich]

And he just had a good. He had a good presentation.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, we're now at the phase of our society. And listen, there was something called dignity. And we used to have it and we used to kind of enforce it, and we didn't leave it up to cops and counselors, to police, everything. It was more like quiet dignity. And if that's out the window, then we're on the road to destruction, because that's gone now. There's no more dignity. First thing, first of all, you know who used to be the keeper of dignity? We're in dildo struction.

[Rudy Pavich]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Dill struction.

[Rudy Pavich]

Deconstruction.

[Adam Carolla]

I'll tell you who kept the torch for dignity and manners and everything. It was women. Women were like, you don't dress that way, you don't talk that way, and you don't act that way. And now women are at the tip of the dildo spear.

[Rudy Pavich]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

They switch beating on people in airplanes and airports, fighting with ice, like there. Now women are doing the keepers of the young man. You're not going to leave the house dressed like that. You watch your tone. That's your grandmother. You don't speak to her. The keepers of dignity were women and they're fucking gone.

[Rudy Pavich]

Maybe we shamed. Maybe we shamed. Ten years ago, the Karens. Too much. We may have overlooked them. They were the ones that like, hey, clean up after your dog. Or not having that muffler in the neighborhood. And then they go, fine, right?

[Adam Carolla]

So we. Right. We took the women. We took the women who would run out after the dog, took the Duke on the neighbor's lawn. And Yellow. Excuse you. Excuse you. Do you live here? March yourself back to your home. How would you like it if somebody defecated on. All right? And we told them all. We gave him a title.

[Rudy Pavich]

Shamed them all.

[Adam Carolla]

Karen.

[Rudy Pavich]

We shamed them all.

[Adam Carolla]

We told them all to shut up.

[Rudy Pavich]

Yep.

[Adam Carolla]

And now they shut up. And we're running wild and we're running dildos. It would be nice.

[Rudy Pavich]

And we have to hire cops that aren't cops, that look like cops everywhere to kind of enforce it.

[Adam Carolla]

Right?

[Rudy Pavich]

They're like, not real cops.

[Adam Carolla]

Not real cops.

[Rudy Pavich]

It's everywhere. I live in Nashville, on Broadway. They're not cops.

[Adam Carolla]

And what I don't like is they're all driving cars that sort of look like a cop car, but not really. But it's just enough to fuck you up if you've had a couple of beers and they pull up behind you like, holy shit, I just ate this joint. And now this guy's making 19 bucks an hour and has no license.

[Rudy Pavich]

He'll tackle you. Do you ever. I have this conversation with my fiance all the time. Do you ever in your day get involved in anything? Never.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't. I don't even honk when people cut me off anymore. I don't. I have so little interest in other people's stuff. And it's weird, you know, because people could say, all these assholes out there settling everyone's hash and telling them what to do. They're all narcissists. And I'm like, no, I think I'm the narcissist. You don't exist to me.

[Rudy Pavich]

You don't register to me.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't want to waste one second of my time with you.

[Rudy Pavich]

That might be the way to do that.

[Adam Carolla]

Energy I'm not spending on me.

[Rudy Pavich]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

So I'm the narcissist. Yeah.

[Rudy Pavich]

A guy sitting next to us at the coffee shop this morning was watching a YouTube video out loud.

[Adam Carolla]

Right, Right.

[Rudy Pavich]

Yeah. And you.

[Adam Carolla]

I just go, yeah, yeah.

[Rudy Pavich]

Are we gonna. You sit with the other guy and go, this.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Rudy Pavich]

And I didn't do anything either. Maybe I should. Is that what we're saying here?

[Adam Carolla]

No, I. I never do. I have never told a neighbor to turn down a stereo. I've never.

[Rudy Pavich]

I. Mufflers. Too loud. Nothing.

[Adam Carolla]

Nothing. I. I hate the guys.

[Rudy Pavich]

I'll hate them on the inside.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, the guys who buy the motorcycles and take the baffles out and have the open exhaust and then fire it up, you know, their hog and the three wheeled one.

[Rudy Pavich]

We have the three wheeled ones. Slingshot.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, slingshot.

[Rudy Pavich]

Yeah, they got decorated with lights. Now what is.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, so black guys love the slingshot. It's weird. You know what else is weird?

[Rudy Pavich]

Guys love the slingshot. They do, they, do they? Whites never. We didn't adopt the slingshot.

[Adam Carolla]

You know the thing about black guys?

[Rudy Pavich]

What's that?

[Adam Carolla]

They go hog wild for the three wheeler if the two wheels are in front. But if there's the three wheeler where the two are in back, you'll never find a black guy. So it's like, hey brothers, you like three wheels or not? And the answer is it depends where

[Rudy Pavich]

they are, where the third wheel is.

[Adam Carolla]

Where is the third wheel? Black guys are all over the slingshot. None of them. Next to that hog trike thing. That's all white dudes. All white dudes with. By the way, when you go to the, when you go from the hog to the three wheeler, you go from the two wheeler Harley to the hog to the, to the three wheel trike. That means the old lady's put some weight on. Yeah, that's really, that's really just for her.

[Rudy Pavich]

She's got it.

[Adam Carolla]

You can't handle her fat ass on that two wheeler 20 years ago. Like when you guys were dating. That was awesome.

[Rudy Pavich]

Stoplight now.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, the three wheeler to the wife. When the guy says, I'm buying the three wheeler, it's sort of what the bustier is to the aging porn star when they sort of pull it down. But it covers the C section scars and got, you know, a retirement.

[Rudy Pavich]

They go, we're still going to do it.

[Adam Carolla]

We're still going to just put the thing around your belly. We don't want see your belly slop it over. Make a little adjustment in the porn star.

[Rudy Pavich]

That's the three wheel.

[Adam Carolla]

The three wheel. When I met you, I had two wheels and we dated on two wheels. And then you had a couple of kids. Yeah, and we got a little bit older.

[Rudy Pavich]

There's no guy in his 30s in on a three wheeler.

[Adam Carolla]

Now they open that Golden Corral up the street and honey, I'm stepping up to a three wheeler. By the way, ladies, when your man Says he's getting off the hog, you know, the two wheeler. Because a three wheel motorcycle at this point you might as well just get a Miata. Yeah, just get a convertible. You'll get better mileage with a Miata. So when your guy says, I'd like to get a three wheeler, what he's saying is, I'd like you to lose £40.

[Rudy Pavich]

It's one of the.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, that's really what he's saying. Like, I'd like to get a new young girlfriend who I could put on the back of my Harley back old school, but I can't do that with you.

[Rudy Pavich]

The guy on the three wheeler wants the two wheeler.

[Adam Carolla]

He wants the two wheeler situation.

[Rudy Pavich]

That cannot.

[Adam Carolla]

His wife's fat ass is so unwieldy now that he can't safely handle the two wheeler.

[Rudy Pavich]

And he gets. If that same guy gets divorced, he gets a Ducati.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, now, now we got the safety seat. That's the one with the notch in it.

[Rudy Pavich]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Cafe. He's leaning forward.

[Rudy Pavich]

It's kind of a backpack on you at that point.

[Adam Carolla]

At that point. But only waif models will work on a Ducati.

[Rudy Pavich]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

So what you gotta do is. So here's the size the women sizes, the Ducati, the sort of. Or the rice rocket, you know, the Ninja or whatever. But it's called a safety seat. It's like, it's a notched seat. It's not one big flat banana seat. All right, it's got the notch. Then you put the woman back up there. She's just on a little flat padded pad hanging on for deer. 9 inches by 7 inches wide.

[Rudy Pavich]

Has to hold on to.

[Adam Carolla]

To hang on.

[Rudy Pavich]

There's no this, there's no.

[Adam Carolla]

No, you gotta hang on.

[Rudy Pavich]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Which always reminds me, like when a dude gets on the back of the rice rocket, you want to hang on, but it's getting a little gay.

[Rudy Pavich]

They're going to the ice rally or they're going to hold on to the

[Adam Carolla]

shoulders because that's the straight version of being on the back of the rice rocket.

[Rudy Pavich]

Yeah. If you go, I'd rather fall off than someone think I was gay. I go, I'll risk it.

[Adam Carolla]

My buddy Ray fell off the back of a motorcycle because he was trying to light a cigarette and the guy gassed it and he just fell off the back. And he was barefoot, by the way. He was barefoot.

[Rudy Pavich]

Of course he was barefoot.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, so let's go woman size here.

[Rudy Pavich]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay.

[Rudy Pavich]

Well, the black guys like the bigger women.

[Adam Carolla]

They like the bigger women.

[Rudy Pavich]

Do the ducatis no, no.

[Adam Carolla]

They have their own bike. Let me explain everyone's bike. Okay. Okay. First things first. Black guys don't do the Ducatis. They do, like, the Yamaha, Kawasaki rice rocket. But they do the extended swing arm. They do the long swing arm, like a drag bike. Black guys do the drag bike.

[Rudy Pavich]

They do do that. They do do that.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't. Now, look, you guys can go, fuck you, Carolla. You're racist. I go, look, there's low riders, there's Porsches, there's different groups. There's the rice, you know, there's the dachshund guy.

[Rudy Pavich]

I know a guy that's black that has. Yeah, not everybody.

[Adam Carolla]

You don't know. You don't know a black guy that's got a Ducati? You know a black guy that's got the extended swing arm?

[Rudy Pavich]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, all right, hold on. All right, but. So here's my point.

[Rudy Pavich]

See it?

[Adam Carolla]

Black guys got their own bikes. That is a. That is the Japanese. They especially like one. I don't know, I think it's a Kawasaki or. Or maybe a Yamaha. But it's got a full big fairing. It's all big fairing down. And then the long swing arm. That's a drag bike. Then the white guys got the Harleys and the Ducatis, they got a little range. The Euro guys got the Ducati stuff. Mexicans have mini bikes. They like buzzing by. No, literally, mini bikes. Like their whole. In la, there's whole Mexican mini bike.

[Rudy Pavich]

A dirt bike.

[Adam Carolla]

Minibike. A dirt bike. Okay. I can't believe I have to tell you this.

[Rudy Pavich]

No, I know what a mini bike is. I know what a mini bike is.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, you said dirt bike three times.

[Rudy Pavich]

Like a dirt bike, but. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

No, not like a dirt bike. Dirt bike is a Honda XR75, a Trail 50, a Yamaha YZ80. Those are mini dirt bikes. A mini bike is a Briggs and Stratton lawnmower engine. That. That's a minibike.

[Rudy Pavich]

Yeah. Looks like a motorcycle.

[Adam Carolla]

These. We're not looking at pictures of mini bikes, if that's what you're trying to put forward here. But Mexicans have whole mini bike gangs out here.

[Rudy Pavich]

Those are the scariest ones.

[Adam Carolla]

Mexicans got the mini bikes. Black's got the rice rockets with the extended swing arms. Whites were more rangy. Like I said, we got the Hawks, we got the Ducatis. We don't have the slingshot, the Polaris stuff or the Can Am stuff. That's all brothers.

[Rudy Pavich]

Yeah, we don't do that.

[Adam Carolla]

But we do do the two.

[Rudy Pavich]

Who does the. The arms up?

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, ape hangers.

[Rudy Pavich]

Who do that?

[Adam Carolla]

That's white guy. That's white guy. There's a Mexican version of the ape hanger. Now the full. The full Easy Rider chopper. That's. You need a waif model behind you on that. Like, your lady can't be fat on that. Your lady cannot be fat on a Ducati.

[Rudy Pavich]

Can't be.

[Adam Carolla]

And she can't be fat on a serious chopper. Like old school. Old school 60s chopper. Okay.

[Rudy Pavich]

Yep.

[Adam Carolla]

Then once you step up to like the Gold Wing or something like that, like the bigger cruiser one, now, she's got a whole saddle back there and a backrest. And a backrest. And a backrest.

[Rudy Pavich]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Here's what happened. Let me tell you what that is. That's what you call a gateway bike. That's a gateway to a fat ass. You see what I'm saying?

[Rudy Pavich]

Yeah. She was in the gym. Now she's kind of. Well, you got the backrest now.

[Adam Carolla]

I'll tell you what, that bike is really big. Black dudes who used to play in the NFL who became bouncers. At some point, they started wearing sweatsuits.

[Rudy Pavich]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

And a sweatsuit will never tell you when you're fat. You just keep going.

[Rudy Pavich]

Once you get a last stick on the waist, right. That.

[Adam Carolla]

That's a gateway dress. Slacks. You feel the pinch the next morning, belt loop down.

[Rudy Pavich]

Yeah, I'm getting fat.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Rudy Pavich]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

So sweatpants never let you know. And next you know, that guy's 475 pounds.

[Rudy Pavich]

It'll never let you know.

[Adam Carolla]

That's what that gold Wayne Harley seed to the ladies. You know what I mean? She should have never climbed off that Ducati.

[Rudy Pavich]

No.

[Adam Carolla]

Because when you got a fat ass in a Ducati, everyone knows it. And same with the chopper accountability. Right. And then so what happens is, is they get off of the Ducati or the chopper and they get onto the Harley and their ass starts to spread out a little, and then that gets too big and they get onto the Gold Wing, which has, by the way, training wheels that electronically come down.

[Rudy Pavich]

It does.

[Adam Carolla]

Right? Because her ass is too big. That's not for the guy.

[Rudy Pavich]

Now, are we. Are. Are.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, hold on. We still got to keep going. Then at some point after the third kid, the guy comes in, head down, says, I. I think I'm going to trade in the Gold Wing for a three wheeler. And that's the beginning of morbid obesity.

[Rudy Pavich]

Yeah, the three wheeler, that's.

[Adam Carolla]

That's it.

[Rudy Pavich]

Now is the.

[Adam Carolla]

But ironically, not for the front slingshot with the black guy. Yeah, that's a different ass.

[Rudy Pavich]

Is you had a slick. Because we have a slingshot outside of my fiance's apartment complex. There's a slingshot meet up gas station, which should tell you what the neighborhood.

[Adam Carolla]

That's not a good apartment complex. All those Jews pulling up at once is.

[Rudy Pavich]

Should the. Who's policing it? Should the. Should the women be looking themselves in the mirror? Be like, I can't get on this anymore. Or did the guys have to tell.

[Adam Carolla]

I think they're. Well, first off, whoever's behind you will let you know too. You know what I mean? Like, there's a guy, you know, a guy, truck nuts, hanging off his Dodge Ram fat ass. You'll know. All you have to do. If you cut off one guy in a Ram pickup truck, he will fucking yell. Whatever you are. You're gonna. You'll know. Yeah, you'll know.

[Rudy Pavich]

The elastic won't tell you, but he'll tell you.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, like, have him split lanes with that thing while everyone else is, you know, in traffic and you have that big fat ass on display. Somebody's going to let you know.

[Rudy Pavich]

But the girl, I don't think the women do. They want to be on the bike. I was the guy like, hey, babe,

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know because who makes that three wheeler? And I know. Do not show me a slingshot. I do not. The two wheels need to be in the back.

[Rudy Pavich]

Show me a slingshot, dude. It's. What's it called?

[Adam Carolla]

I'll tell you the couple. I'll tell you the worst.

[Rudy Pavich]

Gosh, that is so funny.

[Adam Carolla]

I used to do a joke about this, but once the chick gets on the back, once you get the Gold Wing.

[Dawson]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

They put the helmet on. The helmet's got the intercom.

[Rudy Pavich]

Oh, with the. With the.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, now you guys are talking all the way to Oregon. Could you imagine putting a trash can on your head and just hearing the sound of your wife for like seven hours? He goes, hey, could you imagine that kind of torture?

[Rudy Pavich]

Like, you ever heard about those guys that are like, he's faking being deaf so he can't hear his wife.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, yeah.

[Rudy Pavich]

He's like. He's playing this game the whole time. I can't. There's got to be a guy that.

[Adam Carolla]

The wife is the one goes, I want the intercom helmets. And that's a little rich for our blood. We're doing. I hear you. I hear you.

[Rudy Pavich]

You can stop at a stop sign,

[Adam Carolla]

you can say, tell me. Speak your piece. And then we'll hit the open road again. I can do some thinking. How about that?

[Rudy Pavich]

Oh, hey, I gotta go to the bathroom. Just. All right. Yeah, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Just two taps on the shoulder means number one.

[Rudy Pavich]

That's what it was. One tap and two taps, right? That was the only communication.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, show me a three wheel motorcycle. There. There it is.

[Rudy Pavich]

There it is.

[Adam Carolla]

And that's, that's Harley. Harley makes that right.

[Rudy Pavich]

We'd have to redact all this. If that was a black guy, we'd have to pick all of this stuff.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, I would say that shit was photoshopped. If there's a black guy, I don't believe AI is not advanced enough to put a black shot.

[Rudy Pavich]

Bring up a.

[Adam Carolla]

Bring up a random slingshot. Let's see if we can find a. Now we're going to find a black.

[Rudy Pavich]

So scared. Bring up a slingshot. Guy on a slingshot.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know. I will tell you. If you say a guy pulled up on a three wheel motorcycle, guess his race, I just go, are the wheels in front? Are the wheels in back? And if they go wheels are in back, I would go 1000%.

[Rudy Pavich]

This is a thousand percent.

[Adam Carolla]

It's a white dude.

[Rudy Pavich]

You see, you scroll social media see a lot of the same things. A lot of everybody has that thing. This, this topic has never been discussed on earth.

[Adam Carolla]

You don't think historically one of our forefathers had this discussion by candlelight or something?

[Rudy Pavich]

Where are the wheels in the front?

[Dawson]

I don't know.

[Adam Carolla]

It's possible.

[Rudy Pavich]

They got the meetups in my neighborhood. I'm gonna go down there and ask them. What do they.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, the other thing too. Well, here's the whole thing about black people.

[Rudy Pavich]

Okay, let's see.

[Adam Carolla]

Black people are like, we're gonna drive, right? We need to get from point A to point B. Yeah, but how can we maximize annoying everyone else with our shit music? Yeah, they go, well, you could roll the windows down on the Denali. Yeah, that's okay. But what if we had no roof? What if we were just in an open air thing with all speakers like a ski boat and we just fucking cranked it up. Imagine how many white people we could annoy that way.

[Rudy Pavich]

All at once.

[Adam Carolla]

All at once.

[Rudy Pavich]

It's productivity.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, again, you're getting more efficient. What is your goal? I like to annoy white people when I drive lather. Yeah, right. I was going down PCH the other day. Black dude, window down, by the way, you guys could. You had plausible deniability. Black people with your window down. In the past and your shit music to annoy white people. But what with air conditioning and climate control, there's no fudgeing. You're not right. How come you got your windows down and no one else got your windows down and you're cranking your young jizzy over there? I got to fucking hear all your bullshit music. Don't tell me this isn't part of the plan. Well, the slingshot is just the ultimate window down.

[Rudy Pavich]

Yeah, there is no window up.

[Adam Carolla]

They go out.

[Rudy Pavich]

You have to listen to it.

[Adam Carolla]

You can annoy white people from like a metric mile. Like you can. You can annoy white people who. From blocks away with the slingshot.

[Rudy Pavich]

And they got the. You ever seen like the TVs? They're in the back for the people behind you.

[Adam Carolla]

Let me see a slingshot. Let's see. Found one or two white people sitting in it. They fucking rented that thing. Don't give me that bullshit. That's a. I want to see a decked out slingshot. They're hanging street. They're hanging Christmas lights and stuff.

[Dawson]

Right?

[Rudy Pavich]

There we go. Oh, yeah. We need to see them with people in them.

[Adam Carolla]

Let me tell you this. Let me tell you where you're never going to see a black guy. You ready?

[Rudy Pavich]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

All right. All right, so here's what we figured out. No wheels in the back, but wheels in the front. Okay? We got that. You're not gonna see him on one of those gold wings with the training wheels and the old lady. No, I'll tell you, as long as we're talking about wheels and transportation, you're never gonna see a black guy on a recumbent bike. That is the move of the white man. The white man does the recumbent bike. Black guy. No, recumbent bikes. Also, you know what's funny about Mexicans? They're so committed to. To their horrible forms of transportation that they make low rider bicycles. Yeah, they've. They've like.

[Rudy Pavich]

Somebody's got it like on the beach. They go on.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, and there's like a 45 year old Mexican guy on a lowrider bike. You're like, dude, at some point. And by the way, it's weird because it's the culture. It's the culture. So what do Germans do? They do Porsche.

[Rudy Pavich]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

And then what do they do when they modify Porsche? They're like, well, let's do a water to air intercooler so we can get more boost out of those turbos. And what do the Mexicans do? They take it in pollen. They make it slower.

[Rudy Pavich]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Like, they're like, how do we slow a car down with a hood ornament? Right. Let's see what we can do to make this car slower.

[Rudy Pavich]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

And then you go, okay, which culture has a space program? Which culture makes rockets? Which culture makes jet airplanes? And you go, not the one that wants to go slower. Everything there's about like, they're all sort of like, I know we don't ride donkeys anymore, but we want a car slow as a donkey. So let's get to work.

[Rudy Pavich]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. Oh, oh, oh. O'Reilly Auto Parts. Yeah, love me some O'Reilly. What do they do? They keep your car on the road and they keep it running. And most car stuff I can figure out. But if I'm ever stumped, I always go to O'Reilly. That's my first call. They've got thousands of parts in stock, either in store or online, so you never have to worry if you're in a jam. They'll also test your battery for free. And if it needs to be replaced, they'll help you find the right one. Whether you're a car aficionado or an auto novice, they'll see. And you'll see. The employees at O'Reilly Auto Parts are helpful and they are friendly. They held the door for me last time I was at the one in Glendale. O'Reilly is your one stop shop for all things auto, especially if you're a do it yourselfer. It's O'Reilly, right? Dawson?

[Dawson]

Stop by O'Reilly Auto Parts today or visit us@O'ReillyAuto.com Adam that's O'ReillyAuto.com Adam Pluto

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[Adam Carolla]

And then the economics of it is like, I'm gonna put 150 grand into my Impala and make it worth nine grand. Like that's the other thing too.

[Rudy Pavich]

Every time a white person does a Renault to their house, they go, how's this going to affect resale?

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Rudy Pavich]

If we're not, we're not doing the thing in the backyard because that's going to limit who this is going to resell.

[Adam Carolla]

You have these conversations. They go like this. They go, you know, the new doors and windows, the Anderson guides, $41,000. But the actual value of the house gonna go up almost 100 once you install these new double glazed doors and windows.

[Rudy Pavich]

Done.

[Adam Carolla]

Mexicans would be like, I'm gonna put 150 into this kitchen and entry hall bathroom and make this house worth 200 grand less. That's essentially their plan. That's their economic plan.

[Rudy Pavich]

Math wise. It gets tricky.

[Adam Carolla]

They want that blacks want to annoy you on the road with the sound. So there's a meetup of the slingshots.

[Rudy Pavich]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

By your grandfather.

[Rudy Pavich]

My fiance's apartment. It's at a gas station.

[Adam Carolla]

And what time do they meet up?

[Rudy Pavich]

It's after. It's Nashville. You know Nashville down with the Broadway and all this stuff. It's like six blocks from Broadway. So it's all the tourists down there, they just go, meet up. Hey, you got the. Oh, you do the lights on the wheels. Oh, yeah. And they look at each other's and then they go, at some point, somebody there must be a leader.

[Adam Carolla]

Uh huh. They go, boys, let's go.

[Rudy Pavich]

And they go down and up, up and down Broadway.

[Adam Carolla]

Up and down Broadway.

[Rudy Pavich]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Are they loud? Are they doing pipe work? So they're putting pipes on there?

[Rudy Pavich]

Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the music.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh,

[Rudy Pavich]

the music's loud and it's very, you know, it's like with somebody with the full sleeve of tattoos, they want you to be like, well, what would it go over?

[Adam Carolla]

Like, what if I just got my slingshot, went into a black neighborhood and started cranking Garth Brooks and just drove back and forth for a while? How long would it take before I was pulled off of that slingshot and beaten to death?

[Rudy Pavich]

Yeah, yeah. They come. Yeah, if you go into the neighborhood playing the music because I got in trouble. But I said, hey, brother, this is I somebody with a loud exhaust. This was a white guy, a loud exhaust. And I go, we're sitting out at an outdoor patio. Everybody's down downtown, heavily trafficked area. And he backs in because he has to back into the spot.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Rudy Pavich]

And I go where I'm walking past, I just go, hey, brother, nobody likes this.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Rudy Pavich]

And I'm not going to escalate it into the point of anything.

[Adam Carolla]

Is he Harley guy or rice rocket guy? Because there's two pipes. Dawson. We were asking for a picture of a slingshot that's all decked out a while back, but I don't see. I'm not sure if we have it, Dawson. In my first book, I think in 50 years we'll all be chicks. But it could have been my second book. I did a whole thing on the Harley guy with the no baffles in the pipes. It's there and we've done it. We've read it before. It's somewhere.

[Dawson]

I'll try to find it.

[Adam Carolla]

See if you can find it. Could be my first book, maybe. I say, all right, forget slingshot. If you have a picture of the buffed out slingshot or they don't.

[Rudy Pavich]

If you're listening, you Google it. You just Google it yourself. You know what we're talking about.

[Adam Carolla]

But I guess we're not looking for that. All right, so we'll find that.

[Rudy Pavich]

I will.

[Adam Carolla]

Still looking. I thought. Internet's weird to me. Why doesn't the Internet have like 500,000?

[Rudy Pavich]

We know what they want and we're not showing it.

[Adam Carolla]

Not gonna give it. All right? So forget that because I don't really need it. But it's the Polaris or the Can Am or whatever the three wheeler is.

[Rudy Pavich]

That's all I say with all this stuff I used to tell in my show. There we go. Yeah, that's one of them right there, right? Yeah. There's the guy that's tricking out the can. He's.

[Adam Carolla]

I can't imagine a big return on investment on you putting eight grand worth of Christmas lights on your Can Am. And wrapping it in chrome and whatever.

[Rudy Pavich]

The market is shrinking for the ROI on that.

[Adam Carolla]

You know what's weird, too, about the people who do this? They're not super talkative. Away from the bike and away from the trike. And it's like, are you loud or are you not loud? You know what I mean? Like, I get it if you're this person, that guy shows up to work Monday and doesn't say anything to anybody, not a word. Which is weird, right?

[Rudy Pavich]

Yeah, he goes nuts on the weekend.

[Adam Carolla]

I also kind of feel that way about people who stab people. Like, they don't talk, they're quiet, they're like introverts. And then they stab strangers too.

[Rudy Pavich]

You know, that's range my therapist in. When somebody says, I'm thinking about committing suicide.

[Adam Carolla]

Mm.

[Rudy Pavich]

They're never going to.

[Adam Carolla]

Ah.

[Rudy Pavich]

It's. That's not the person who does it.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Rudy Pavich]

It's the ego. I thought he was.

[Adam Carolla]

You know what? When a counselor or therapist is told I'm thinking about committing suicide, they're obliged contractually, by law, to say anything.

[Rudy Pavich]

Good point.

[Adam Carolla]

But I'm gonna make your point.

[Rudy Pavich]

Let's hear it.

[Adam Carolla]

That person never commits suicide. It's the person who doesn't talk about it. So when you go to a therapist and don't talk about suicide, they should go ahead and have you committed or evaluated. Right. That guy is at risk of committing suicide. I'm thinking about it.

[Rudy Pavich]

He's good. You're free to go, sir.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Guest/Contributor]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Because talking about suicide is like when you say someone go, I'm moving this weekend. And I go, I'd like to help. Yeah, but we know how that ends up. You get no help.

[Rudy Pavich]

Yeah, no chatting. A lot of chatting.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, you have the quote from that book already. Yeah.

[Dawson]

He said, we rode motorcycles because you could fill up the tank for a buck 89. We could cut through LA traffic, and on the weekend, we could carve up a canyon. All good reasons to purchase a motorcycle. Being seen and especially being heard were not part of the equation. That's because we weren't insecure. Narcissistic poser douchebags. You fuck sticks that pull the baffles out of your Harley exhaust so that people in surrounding neighborhoods, countries and the unborn can celebrate the arrival of your preening ass. And the Harley Softail. It's perched on rank. Rank just beneath pedophile clowns and Nazi prison guard on the cosmic cocksucker list. How many times.

[Rudy Pavich]

Yeah, keep going.

[Dawson]

How many times you've been awoken from a nap because one of these peacocks had to throw out a couple of revs as they were driving past your apartment. How many times have you had the shit scared out of you while walking back to your car after a satisfying dinner because one of these guys flew past you with the hammer down? It's called noise pollution. And the chicken shit cops that are busily handing out tickets for no front license plates or illegal window tints should for should once should for once focus on something we give a fuck about. My fantasy is to follow one of these guys home some night and hide in the pantry until he's finished beating off to a cardboard cut out of himself and falling asleep. Then I would sneak into his house past the Lucite box housing the cheap vinyl boxing glove that may or may not have been signed by Muhammad Ali, Pass the Harley Davidson and Marlboro man poster, stand at the foot of his bed and fire off one of those air horns they use to start boat regattas? When he popped up, I'd yell, how does it feel, bitch?

[Adam Carolla]

There you go. I burn a lot of calories complaining about shit.

[Rudy Pavich]

That's. I felt that.

[Adam Carolla]

That was 300 pages of that. That was a page. That was half a page. I had to do another 299.

[Rudy Pavich]

Very explicitly that.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah.

[Rudy Pavich]

No one disagrees with that, by the way. That's the thing. No one disagrees with that.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, I'll tell you, it's funny. I was doing my vlog, and I was out at Home Depot, and I've been traveling around, and lots of people been watching the vlog and listen to the podcast and so stuff like that. So it's very nice. You've come up and say, see your stuff at Home Depot or your Palisades fire stuff? I really appreciate everyone checking those out. We just do them for free and throw them up there. But I did a joke about merchandise, and I'll show you what I did, and then I can show you the comments of people who are angered by it.

[Rudy Pavich]

Okay.

[Adam Carolla]

Because I love it when someone doesn't get a joke.

[Rudy Pavich]

Yeah, yeah. Not everybody. But you want a handful?

[Adam Carolla]

You want a handful?

[Rudy Pavich]

Yeah, not everybody.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, so here's what I said. Went to the Home Depot, and there. Here's what happened. I gotta say, this kind of commercialism kind of rubs me the wrong wire. So let me get this straight, Milwaukee. I'm supposed to pay you 20. I'm standing in front of a rack of Milwaukee hats. Milwaukee branded T shirts. Yeah. And they all just say Milwaukee on them. All right? So I go back 10 seconds. There you $29 so I can walk around and advertise your brand. I pay you. So here's how Milwaukee thinks. Milwaukee's like, pay me and then walk around and advertise us for free. Sounds a little backwards to me. By the way, our merch store is now open if people want to get a Corolla shirt or something like that, just to kind of show your pride. And they're under $30. Not much, but I just kind of popped in my head. Yeah, the merch store's back up and running now, so it's online, so check it out. All right, so people were offended by that because of the hypocrisy about me selling. I gotta read. I just don't draft the five best comments. Also that people have time to watch and comment. I can't read it from here, but Dawson. Dawson could probably read it. He just had a bite of a burrito. I guess

[Dawson]

now we're putting it in a place where I can see it.

[Adam Carolla]

There it is. Yeah, I just can't read it from here, so.

[Rudy Pavich]

So I should pay you to advertise for you.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. All right. Sorry. Never. I have no idea what this. All right, you can either make it bigger on my screen or, Dawson, you read it then.

[Rudy Pavich]

Subsidizing a company's marketing budget. No. And some guy says, oh, come on, man. You started to sound a little too, like, you know what? This stuff is still like, some. You work, but I'm still just telling you. Anyway, give me a shirt for free so I can advertise for your show. They sell clothes, hats, and names on it, then write it off as advertising costs to peer profit. Yeah, they're not. They're not understanding what's happening.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I guess I heard there's a bunch of angry ones, but I guess we pulled ones that are more confusing than angry, but. Okay. All right. That didn't work as well as I would have liked, but next time we'll get. We'll get better clips.

[Rudy Pavich]

Dawson's confused.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, so I don't know what Bub rub from Oakland. Oh, I know what that. You do know that one is.

[Rudy Pavich]

Yeah, it's one of the most iconic, the first YouTube videos of all time.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, that one.

[Rudy Pavich]

This one is iconic.

[Adam Carolla]

Let's. Let's play it.

[Rudy Pavich]

It's the first time I saw YouTube. Go ahead.

[Adam Carolla]

Residents have been told this noise is

[Guest/Contributor]

perfectly legal, so tomorrow they hope to

[Adam Carolla]

start the process to change the law. The whistles go, whoa.

[Guest/Contributor]

Anybody that has it in their neighborhood is going to be Totally driven. Crazy.

[Adam Carolla]

It sounds like rusty. Well, you want to. It's that. Whoa, whoa.

[Rudy Pavich]

You know what I'm saying?

[Adam Carolla]

Then you got the flows. They didn't trip out the flow. Masters Decoration, man. Just for decoration. That's it. And that's all, man. We do it for decoration. You have it on your car. Yeah. Some Oakland residents will complain about the noisemakers too. Tuesday night at the city council meeting, some neighbors are saying way too loud. That's only in the morning. You possibly have cooking breakfast or somebody. And so that's like alarm clock that makes the car audible for almost a mile.

[Rudy Pavich]

Some neighbors are a mile.

[Adam Carolla]

God damn.

[Rudy Pavich]

Guy flew through the stop sign. By the way.

[Adam Carolla]

You know they have in automotive racing and the vintage racing. I do. Do they have certain races that are like decibel races where like you gotta put a muffler on because it bugs the shit out of everyone who lives around the track. You know what I mean? Now not a lot of them. A lot of them are open, but they do. It is a thing. All right now next. So you, you went to the. You were at the coffee shop with your lady or getting coffee. Someone at their clip. I started. I'm. I'm really. I've been really drilling down on like Starbucks and coffee and like how, how you know, look, I grew up. No one drank coffee. No one gave a. Adults, you know, truckers drank coffee with sank. You know, it wasn't a. Wasn't an everywhere every day, everything. Nobody. No, it was like energy drinks. There was coffee at your house? They didn't.

[Rudy Pavich]

You wouldn't go out.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, I'll. I'll tell you. I'll tell. Yes, I'll tell you what it was. I'll tell you what it was. Coffee was made at your house.

[Rudy Pavich]

Yep.

[Adam Carolla]

You didn't touch it. If you're under like 20.

[Rudy Pavich]

Yep.

[Adam Carolla]

You had no business drinking coffee when you were 14. Energy. Yeah. They didn't need it. If you come from a house like my house, my family weren't. They didn't drink coffee. It was like it was too much work for them. So there was no coffee anywhere. As a matter of fact, my family was so fucking lazy when it came to coffee that if we ate at my grandparents house, no one had a coffee maker or coffee pot or anything.

[Rudy Pavich]

No.

[Adam Carolla]

But if we had dinner at my grandparents house, at some point my grandmother would go, does anyone want coffee? And then when I was an adult, I'd go like, yeah, I would like some coffee. And then my grandmother would say, well, if it's Just Adam. I'm going to make the instant, which is weird. Sanka, freezer, burn jar in the fucking freezer. She'd have to chip it away with the butt.

[Dawson]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Butt of a spoon, you know, and then boil water. And then. So what I would do is she'd go, I won't make a pot of coffee if just Adam wants it. And then I'd kick my stepdad in the shin. I'd go, order some coffee.

[Rudy Pavich]

She said, order some.

[Adam Carolla]

Get some coffee. Get some fucking coffee. By the way, effort wise, I make. Okay, I make a pot of coffee. Every morning I get up, I make a pot of coffee. I just make it alone. I'm not throwing a dinner party. There's nothing. There's just me. I make coffee. My grandmother had to go to the freezer, get the fucking Sanka out, bust it up like it was all frozen. Rocket busted up. Boil water on a kettle.

[Rudy Pavich]

With a who.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Rudy Pavich]

With a mufflers. The whistle tips.

[Adam Carolla]

Get the fucking paper filter.

[Rudy Pavich]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

No, no, no, no filter. No. But that was.

[Rudy Pavich]

Boil it.

[Adam Carolla]

Boil it. Poured into a mug, and then stir in this Sanka bullshit. Like this instant stuff. It'd be literally. You'd have a grainy mustache after you took a sip of it, there'd be a bunch of shit.

[Rudy Pavich]

There'd be like, that's just the coffee. No cream, no sugar.

[Adam Carolla]

And I'm like, is that less effort than just making a pot of coffee and walking away?

[Dawson]

Not. But your. Your family was notoriously cheap. She was trying to save five scoops.

[Rudy Pavich]

Yeah. Five cents, maybe. Yeah, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

No, I know. But also, we're also insanely downtrodden. Yeah. So we're all need to be punished with everything. Everything's got to be shit all the time.

[Rudy Pavich]

Just to feel it.

[Adam Carolla]

Right? So, yeah. So there was but Starbucks. Wildly popular. And these places are wildly popular. And I'm starting to put some stuff together. I'm thinking about it.

[Rudy Pavich]

It's a correlation.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay? I go in and I had same thing all day, every day. I go, just give me a black coffee, medium sized, and I'll put some cream in it. Okay? I'm in and out, easy. No problem. Women go in there and they go, I need first off, a lot of questions. Now, women love it. Women love it. You know what women like? They like ordering around other women.

[Rudy Pavich]

Yeah. Saying it out loud.

[Adam Carolla]

Think about. Think about this guy gets married, puts a tuxedo on women. Who invented the train on a dress, not a guy. Yeah. That's women with other women walking behind them, holding it for them. You know what I mean? So they go there, and I'll tell you what women love. They like ordering around other women and they like mild disappointment. So they go up and they go, do you have oat milk? And they go, we just have coconut milk. And they go, so no oat milk. That's number one. They love it.

[Rudy Pavich]

They love it already.

[Adam Carolla]

Now they're going to put the bitch to her paces, right? They go, could I get a Coke? No oat milk? No. Oh, and they like also ancillary discussion, too.

[Rudy Pavich]

That's not.

[Adam Carolla]

Starbucks in Riverside does have oat. Yeah, okay. We're not there. Fucking order your shit. Okay? All right. We don't need a dissertation on the potential. So you have coconut milk. Give me a coconut milk latte, not too hot, light foam. So what they're doing is they're just telling another bitch what to do. Yeah, right. My thing is I don't want to tell her what to do. So I just go, medium coffee, whatever you got.

[Rudy Pavich]

I'm good.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm out here, so I'm going to tell you a bunch of shit. They like that. Next thing you got working, it's something they charge $13 for. That's worth 80 cents. Women love that. They love, like a $5,000 handbag that's got $9 worth of leather in it.

[Rudy Pavich]

You get one from Walmart.

[Adam Carolla]

Check that box. Check that box. Vastly overpaying for something because I think it's worth more, but it's not. Okay, so you got ordering people around.

[Rudy Pavich]

Yep.

[Adam Carolla]

Then at the end, you always get more disappointment. They take the sip off the latte and they go, not as good as the coffee bean and tea leaf latte. There's always a little let. There's a little let down. And now you've checked every box and next thing you know, these places are opening up all over the place. And then there's mostly women in there, and that's. And they've gotten women to drink the coffee. The coffee used to be the diner. The long haul trucker would pull in, Mac Max, and he'd get a warm up and he'd go. And they go, you want to. You want to warm up, Max? I got to get back on the road. Back on the road. And that put some in the thermos and they would leave. And that's who drank coffee.

[Rudy Pavich]

That's it.

[Adam Carolla]

Women weren't big in young women. Not into not. Not a thing. Now I need it. I need coffee ubiquitous.

[Rudy Pavich]

Do you think there's a correlation between the more the More uniqueness of your coffee order. The. The lack of productivity going on in the day. Like, you got black coffee. I got to go to. I got two.

[Adam Carolla]

There's two things.

[Rudy Pavich]

I got to agree.

[Adam Carolla]

There's two things. There's two things. One is you got it. Just like the guy took the baffles out of the Harley. You need some fucking situational awareness, you know, there's seven people behind you.

[Rudy Pavich]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

You really want this chick to go to the lab and get out of Bunsen burner so you can get a cup of coffee, you know what I'm saying? It's the guy at the fucking, you know, the guy at the wedding. And they go to the bar and you're behind him and all you want is a Miller Light and your girl wants a glass of white wine. This guy's behind the thing. And the guy comes up, the guy in front of you, and he's like, could I get a slow gin fizz and an appletini? And the guy's like, let me see if I got nutmeg here. Let me go the back.

[Rudy Pavich]

And they're playing the Cupid Shuffle.

[Adam Carolla]

And it's like, get the. Out of the way. Get a beer, get a wine. Let's get the. Go ahead, get some Jack Daniels. Just dump it in a cup and leave. I don't need him getting out his shaker and all this for you.

[Rudy Pavich]

Cuz that's not the. Like, I go to the rental car place when I'm on the road, right? And I'm like, hey, we don't have. I go, yep. My rental car is not the destination.

[Adam Carolla]

Whatever.

[Rudy Pavich]

I'm going. I'm going to the show. So, like, the coffee is not the destination of your day. It is for somebody.

[Adam Carolla]

I think a lot of people, like the tailor made, specific stuff makes them feel special. Yeah, right. Because anyone can just order a medium coffee.

[Rudy Pavich]

We'll do it your way.

[Adam Carolla]

We'll do it your way. But there's gotta be. There's the ordering. I'm telling you. They love ordering the bitches around. And they love the mild disappointment when they don't, because inevitably they're gonna come up short. They're gonna come up short.

[Rudy Pavich]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

You got the oat milk. You got oat milk. And. Oh, and then you have coconut milk. Do you have gerbil milk? No.

[Rudy Pavich]

Yeah. And leave room in it. Leave room.

[Adam Carolla]

Leave room for gerbil milk. Like they just. Then they ordered around and at some point they're always disappointed. Yeah, I'm never disappointed because I just order a Coffee.

[Rudy Pavich]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

And then it tastes like coffee.

[Rudy Pavich]

And I'm going to do another thing.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm going to do something. I don't want to be here.

[Rudy Pavich]

It's like. It's like the. It's like the slingshot shot. You're like, I'm going to the dinner.

[Adam Carolla]

Right?

[Rudy Pavich]

My route and my. What's going on in the car is not. I'm going. This is serving the greater purpose. This isn't it.

[Adam Carolla]

I would like to get there as quickly as I can.

[Rudy Pavich]

Efficiently.

[Adam Carolla]

As efficiently.

[Rudy Pavich]

No, they. Two seaters. The slingshots are two seaters.

[Adam Carolla]

The slingshots are two. There is a Can Am one where you sit upright like a motorcycle Jet ski, kind of. Yeah, right, right.

[Rudy Pavich]

That is right. We keep coming back to the. The slingshots.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, one more thing to talk about. I am obsessed. I got a couple clips. I'm obsessed with Jennifer Newsom, which is Gavin Newsom's wife. Because I am telling everyone. Everyone wants to know what's going on and how come everyone's gone nuts and what the fuck's going on. We're beating ICE officers with dildos, like. And I realized with all these people, I always just say to everyone, all roads lead to narcissism. Think about all these progressive assholes in Hollywood. Every single story they tell you casts themselves as the hero savior in it. And the savior. And listen to Newsom's wife talk about what this is who she is. And by the way, she filmed herself. She said, I am going to film me talking about stuff, and I'll talk about myself and you'll hear the kind of person I am. All right, here we go.

[Jennifer Newsom]

Hi, everyone. I just wanted to take a minute to check in. What we are seeing right now, from the war to extreme wealth and economy.

[Adam Carolla]

Hold on a second. The other thing is, too. You don't need to check in with us, bitch. Just go about your fucking day. I'm good. I know. They always do this thing. They go as if, like, we're all sitting around going, what's Newsom's bitch got to say about what's going on in Ukraine? The Straits of Hormuz. I don't need you to check in on inequality. But. But she's going to check in in 2026. Here we go.

[Jennifer Newsom]

What we are seeing right now, from the war to extreme wealth inequality to immigrant families being torn apart to the extremely hateful and divisive rhetoric online, should have us all worried. And if there's one thing about me, it's that when I witness Something that is unjust or wrong towards women, children and families, I cannot stay silent.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay. None of these people ever go. Sometimes when I clean my ear out real good, I like to sniff my finger. No, they know.

[Rudy Pavich]

And it's never a bad thing.

[Adam Carolla]

It's never that.

[Rudy Pavich]

It's always flossing.

[Adam Carolla]

No, it's never. It's never. Great point. It's never that. Never that. Like, sometimes when I'm flossing, a little piece of gristle come out from, like, three days ago and it smells so bad.

[Rudy Pavich]

Never.

[Adam Carolla]

Gross.

[Rudy Pavich]

I have to speak up.

[Adam Carolla]

I have. When she witnesses inequality or any kind of tyranny, she's the kind of person that has to stand up, by the way. She's the kind of person who has to film herself saying she stands up. She lives in an $8 million mansion up north and does nothing.

[Dawson]

Yes, I have to stand up and just professionally. Studio.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Dawson]

She's got to talk with very clear diction.

[Adam Carolla]

She's going to stamp out inequality. So I was wondering what was going on with inequality. And then, by the way, anything happened, they never give you a list of what it is they're doing. You know what I mean?

[Rudy Pavich]

Like we said earlier. What do you want? What should we do?

[Adam Carolla]

What do you want? We're going to stand up and we're going to push back. You know what? I'm gonna arm myself with a dildo, and I'm gonna stand up and I'm gonna push back with my dildo.

[Rudy Pavich]

All right.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, just go back 10 seconds. Cause it's great. I love. She's gonna explain who she is. I'm the kind of person who stands up. By the way, the richest, whitest, Barbiest, dolliest chick on the planet is gonna fucking lecture us about this. All right, here it is online.

[Jennifer Newsom]

Should have us all worried. And if there's one thing about me, it's that when I witness something that is unjust or wrong towards women, children and families, I cannot stay silent. My entire life's work is surrounded the notion that we need more human decency in this world. And the only way we get there.

[Adam Carolla]

She did take some of that time off to blow Weinstein. She punched out for a second to blow Weinstein. And then she got right back onto her mission.

[Rudy Pavich]

I never heard of her before until

[Adam Carolla]

her entire life's work. You haven't heard of her work?

[Rudy Pavich]

I've not.

[Adam Carolla]

Her body of work.

[Rudy Pavich]

I knew Gavin Newsom.

[Adam Carolla]

She's been.

[Rudy Pavich]

Yeah, this is.

[Adam Carolla]

Her whole life has been helping people and blowing Weinstein. But. All right, but that's now. You know. You didn't know.

[Rudy Pavich]

I didn't know that.

[Adam Carolla]

You know, she stands up. She. She has to say something.

[Rudy Pavich]

Nobody cares. There's no. There's. There's no one on the opposite side of this.

[Adam Carolla]

That's the other one I like. Yeah, I'm up.

[Rudy Pavich]

I went up against racist. Yeah, dude, Good. So is everybody.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, here we go.

[Jennifer Newsom]

Through courage and through speaking truth to power, through standing up for women, for children, for our common humanity. My first documentary unveiled how the patriarchy vis a vis the media was holding women in leadership back.

[Rudy Pavich]

I don't even know what that means.

[Jennifer Newsom]

My second looked at the boy crisis in America and how our leadership is failing our boys.

[Adam Carolla]

And hold on. When hot chicks do documentaries, that just means I don't have a fucking job also. That's all that is.

[Rudy Pavich]

The truth to power is in the living room. You got the powers. Your husband has the power.

[Adam Carolla]

I told. I told everyone during COVID Not us during COVID You guys are like, trump's an oppressor. I was like, your guy shut the beaches. Your guy took bulldozers and pushed sand into space.

[Rudy Pavich]

The paddle boards.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes, your guy. Your husband is the guy who shut the restaurants and put businesses up. Yeah, he's the fucking. He's the power, you idiot. Go speak to.

[Rudy Pavich]

He's in these.

[Adam Carolla]

You're speaking to Trump's 3,000 miles away. It's your guys. Close the schools down for a year and a half, you fucking wit.

[Rudy Pavich]

If you said, who has the power? To an alien, you'd be like, they do.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes, that lady has the power. Yeah, you're saying, go ahead, men.

[Jennifer Newsom]

Media has played a huge role in devaluing the feminine and uplifting the masculine, and not always the better elements of either, because there's power and beauty in both. But technology is the new backlash to gender equity and gender justice, and it's on steroids. Mostly because it's in the hands of those who wish to profit at all costs and return us to a time when women and girls had no power, no voice, and when men and boys were told that they could not express the emotional nor caring parts of themselves. Now, as a society, shouldn't we strive to help people realize the entirety of their humanity, to see the goodness and humanity in others, to value kindness, decency, and respect, to treat others the way we want to be treated? It's on us to build systems that reflect those values. Yet right now, we live in a

[Adam Carolla]

world of building systems. Means, give me some fucking money. I got friends who want to build systems with happy names and the money just fucking goes down the drain.

[Jennifer Newsom]

Reflect those values. Yet right now we live in a world that values profit over people. We live in a world where hate and fear perpetuate division and power being held in the hands of only a few. This feeds a broken system. A system that targets women and other vulnerable communities asking for change. That silences women and those who speak out. Target render women's work invisible. That pushes certain women.

[Adam Carolla]

Hold on. We here. Should we. Here, let me explain how it works. Yeah. The guys with the three wheeler motorcycles. That's Norback. The wheels in the back. If they have the wheels in the back, those are the guys who are targeting women.

[Rudy Pavich]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

And then other guys on three wheelers where the wheels are in front.

[Rudy Pavich]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

So understand. Yeah, yeah. So wheels in the back.

[Rudy Pavich]

Oppression.

[Adam Carolla]

You're oppressing the guys you're targeting.

[Rudy Pavich]

We need to make one of these videos.

[Adam Carolla]

Women and then guys who are on the slingshots. Okay, I think I got.

[Rudy Pavich]

I think I got. Is that what the end of this is? Is it. It's the men on the.

[Adam Carolla]

She's gonna explain that. The guys with the rice rockets and the extended sling arms aren't the problem. I don't care what the FBI crime statistics say. All right, here we go.

[Jennifer Newsom]

Preserve their limited seats at the tables of power.

[Adam Carolla]

I just gotta go back. By the way, as a rich, white, old heterosexual white guy, I wish one tenth of this was true. I really do. I'd have my seat at the table of power instead of fucking sitting in traffic.

[Rudy Pavich]

Yeah, I don't know where the table is, but I'd like to sit at it.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, you're not.

[Jennifer Newsom]

Rich women and other vulnerable communities asking for change. That silences women and those who speak out. That render women's work invisible. That pushes certain women to tear other women down in order to preserve their.

[Adam Carolla]

By the way.

[Rudy Pavich]

Hold on. I don't know what this means.

[Adam Carolla]

Women hate each other. But I do love when women go at each other. It's only because the guy in the Harley with the wheels in the back got her to go do it. He only got.

[Rudy Pavich]

Yeah, she didn't want to do it,

[Adam Carolla]

but I made her do it.

[Dawson]

I made her do it.

[Adam Carolla]

And those guys on the slingshots are shooting each other. That's us too. All right, keep going. It's great.

[Jennifer Newsom]

The tables of power.

[Adam Carolla]

The tables of power.

[Jennifer Newsom]

And it's hard not to feel the weight of all of that right now because the more that hate is perpetuated, the more divided that we Become as a society now, as a mom. I cannot let this be the norm. I cannot have this be the culture.

[Adam Carolla]

Not on her watch. No. Well, hey, do something then. What?

[Jennifer Newsom]

You already deserve better. We all deserve better.

[Adam Carolla]

Everyone deserves better.

[Jennifer Newsom]

We cannot let anyone say, how much

[Adam Carolla]

better does she deserve? Like, she doesn't fucking work. She's rich. Don't say she lives in Napa. You know what I mean? She doesn't fucking do anything all day. She shits out a doc, and it goes right into Sundance because of her politics. So how much better does she really deserve? I think she's set right.

[Rudy Pavich]

Switching, coming, doing that mental gymnastics. To be the. To be the victim is.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, she's a woman and. Yeah.

[Dawson]

And so she's especially worried about her kids.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Dawson]

Who are going to grow up even richer than their parents did.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Rudy Pavich]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Nancy Pelosi's their aunt. All right, just play it out. Sorry. It's great.

[Jennifer Newsom]

Our children deserve better. We all deserve better. We cannot let anyone silence our voices of progress. There is too much at stake. So, please, if you take anything from this, know that you are not alone. If you're feeling such sadness for our online world and culture right now, that using your voice to uplift others and create a healthier culture is a must, that engaging in culture, cruel and demeaning and unkind rhetoric online is extremely harmful, that people who do so should not be empowered. Let's lean on each other to build a healthier culture both online and off, that truly reflects the values that we want to create for the world that we all want to live in. One full of kindness and good, not hatred and division. Sending gratitude and love to all of the kind souls in the world.

[Adam Carolla]

Let's get a message. Let's. Let's get a message to her saying, I saw the video. I really dug it. I didn't have the sound up, but I did beat off to it.

[Rudy Pavich]

I mean, you could sound on or off is still same same, you know. You know, you ever heard of a guy named Luke Cornett?

[Adam Carolla]

No.

[Rudy Pavich]

Luke Cornett plays for the Spurs. He's a Christian. He's a Catholic. So the Atlanta Hawks had one of the. A promotional night associated with the Magic City. The strip club in Atlanta.

[Adam Carolla]

Saw that.

[Rudy Pavich]

Yeah. Luke Cornett, a conservative. He goes, I don't agree with this. The NFL is family friendly. I don't believe they should endorse this.

[Adam Carolla]

NBA or NFL.

[Rudy Pavich]

NBA. Sorry.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Rudy Pavich]

And he was asking for the NFL to remove their endorsement of the night.

[Adam Carolla]

Wait, NBA.

[Rudy Pavich]

The NBA.

[Adam Carolla]

Sorry.

[Rudy Pavich]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He was saying, I don't agree with this. This is what I want. This is what I think. And the online community moved and the NBA got rid of it.

[Adam Carolla]

Right?

[Rudy Pavich]

He's. What I'm saying is he's asking for. So if we're like, hey, we want security in our neighborhood, we want more efficient, like, what do you. What are the dildo people? What.

[Adam Carolla]

I'll tell you what they want. They want to be agitated.

[Rudy Pavich]

That's what they want attention. And they. I don't like what tell us. There was. I knew there was going to be no solution at the end of that.

[Adam Carolla]

No there ever is. No, but you can't solve. Look, if your job is picking up garbage at the park, you don't want to solve the problem of litter at the park. All right, John, I'll give you a plug. We'll take a break. We'll bring Rudy in here. I'll give you all the dates and everything at the end of the show. John Criss. Thanks for coming in, my friend.

[Rudy Pavich]

Good to be back, brother.

[Adam Carolla]

Home Title Lock. Have you heard about this 17 million fraud scheme that targeted elderly homeowners in Los Angeles? A ring of 11 people, including two foreign nationals, used fraudulent identities and public title records to forge documents and take out loans against these LA properties. And the homeowners didn't know anything about it. And now, despite multiple arrests, the homeowners are left to clean up the mess and the legal and financial nightmare it created. And if you're a homeowner without protection in place, this could be you. Sadly, this is the new world order. That's why I partnered with Home Title Lock. So you can find out today if you're already a victim and protect yourself or your loved ones against this growing crime. It's Home Title Lock. Right?

[Dawson]

Dawson, Use Promo code [e-mail] to get a free title history report. Plus a free trial of their million dollar triple lock protection. That's 247 monitoring urgent alerts. And if you're a victim of fraud, they'll spend up to $1 million to fix it. That's home title lock.com promo code Adam.

[Adam Carolla]

Or use the link below Simplisafe. Traditional home security has expensive monthly fees, multi year contracts and confusing hardware. That's why I use Simplisafe instead. Always have. You can customize the system on their website and have it all in your house in days. It's not just cameras. It's an entire ecosystem of sensors that all work together like a beautiful security ballet. No lock ins no hidden cancellation fees. SimpliSafe earns your business by keeping you safe, not trapping you in a contract. Good people, good business. Started years ago, always been a sponsor and growing every day because they deliver. And they were named America's best customer service by Newsweek. It's SimpliSafe. Two eyes. SimpliSafe. Right.

[Dawson]

Dawson, we want you to experience the same peace of mind we do, which is why we've partnered with SimpliSafe to offer an exclusive discount to our listeners. Right now, you can get 50% off your new system by visiting simplisafe.com Adam that's half [e-mail] Adam. There's no safe like SimpliSafe.

[Guest/Contributor]

With the American Express Platinum card, you can access over $3,500 in annual value with benefits and eligible purchases across travel, entertainment and more.

[Adam Carolla]

There's nothing like platinum.

[Guest/Contributor]

Learn more at americanexpress.com/explatin-platin enrollment requirements monthly and other limits. In terms of plywood,

[Dawson]

It's time to check Adam's voicemail.

[Adam Carolla]

Hey, Adam. Tim from Arizona. I was watching Jeopardy. Last night and your picture came up on the screen. It was some category about left handed people. I don't know, but you really made the big time. When you're an answer on Jeopardy. Get it on.

[Dawson]

You can leave us a message at 888-634-1744.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, yeah.

[Guest/Contributor]

Yeah. You and Ned Flanders. That's awesome.

[Adam Carolla]

Ned Flanders. It's awesome until they have no idea who you are.

[Dawson]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Then it gets embarrassing.

[Guest/Contributor]

Yeah. They're like, yeah, they name off four, three other people that definitely aren't you. What was the. Who got the answer? Well, actually, let me rephrase that. What number were you like, so they say, suspected of left handedness. Were you the thousand dollar question? Were you the 1200?

[Adam Carolla]

I don't. I believe.

[Dawson]

I believe it was the $2,000.

[Adam Carolla]

Ooh, that's the problem. You do like. You do like the masked singer. And they go, he hosted the man show. Doug Stanhope. No, I'm out. Ideas. And then you go, oh, now I feel, yeah.

[Dawson]

Here is your Jeopardy. Answer.

[Adam Carolla]

You have the answer.

[Dawson]

This man of many media, including TVs to catch a contractor confesses when he talks about having to use a right handed saw.

[Adam Carolla]

So all they gave you.

[Dawson]

And that was pretty much the response that was. That was what happened in Jeopardy.

[Guest/Contributor]

They didn't know. Bullshit. Really?

[Adam Carolla]

Well, all they said was catch a contractor, Right?

[Guest/Contributor]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

They had no other shows.

[Dawson]

Correct.

[Adam Carolla]

So you would only get all you would get if you were in the clue department. And by the way, my mom wouldn't have gotten this. Yeah. No way.

[Guest/Contributor]

No.

[Adam Carolla]

But if you said she. Okay.

[Dawson]

I'm sorry.

[Adam Carolla]

If you said so read it one more time because I. It's pretty limiting.

[Dawson]

Stand by. But is there. I guess there is a right handed and left handed saw because of the way your grip palms the. So there is definitely.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay.

[Dawson]

But in the movie Step Brothers he says there's a chip in my left drumstick. There's no such thing as a left drumstick.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, right.

[Guest/Contributor]

Well, not to. Not to on the conversation a little bit, but you were the toothpaste thousand dollars question. Which means that they definitely make it a little bit harder. So they probably didn't take. They didn't make a little harder.

[Adam Carolla]

It's tough because you would have to know the show Catch a Contractor because if you didn't, then you wouldn't and could also be Skip Bedell who's in Catch a Contractor as well. So that's a. But if you said man show Loveline, catch contractor then you could get the question.

[Guest/Contributor]

But it is very common knowledge that Skip is right hand it. Everybody knows it's a tale as old as time.

[Adam Carolla]

But they don't show. Oh, but they're not showing a picture of me, are they?

[Dawson]

They are.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, well then you should get it. Yeah. All right, Go ahead, do it. We'll see what happens. Sorry.

[Dawson]

This man of many media, including TVs to catch a contractor confesses when he talks about having to use a right handed saw.

[Guest/Contributor]

Who is Bob Vila.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. So it's all. Who's Norm Abrams? Skip it out. Skip Abrams. I've invented a hybrid of guys who work on houses on tv. Oh, Jesus. All right, so no one got the answer is that we figured out correct. Oh, we need to find that clip somewhere.

[Guest/Contributor]

Damn.

[Adam Carolla]

Come on. It's a tooth out.

[Guest/Contributor]

Jeopardy's a tough one to find online.

[Dawson]

Murphy Griffin would get really mad at us for playing that.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Guest/Contributor]

He's a tough one.

[Kamala Harris]

One.

[Adam Carolla]

And, and they put the picture up there. I wonder who must be some young Indian kid or something. Yeah.

[Dawson]

Apparently there's a. There's a Chinese guy on Jeopardy right now who is just killing. He's got like, I think he's on like 17, 18, 19 times. He's the new guy. Completely crushing it. But he really, he didn't get this one.

[Adam Carolla]

So they. And they must go full screen with that picture.

[Guest/Contributor]

Of course. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Just superimpose it over the board.

[Guest/Contributor]

Well, it usually zooms out from the square like 2000 and it zooms out and covers the screen.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, right back down to earth. Yeah, they didn't get me. The Chinese guy did not get me neither. Damn. All right, what do we got?

[Guest/Contributor]

All right, let's do some news. Congressman Eric Swalwell's run for governor of California has come to a screeching halt amid allegations of sexual assault. Swalwell made the announcement on X, writing, I'm suspending my campaign for governor. To my family, staff, friends and supporters, I am deeply sorry for mistakes and judgment I've made in the past. I will fight the serious false allegations that have been made, but that's my fight, not a campaign's.

[Adam Carolla]

Now, I know this is super unpopular, but I would take a rapist who was super competent at running California versus a non rapist who's running California into the ground. And then people go, oh, Adam, that's such a horrible thought. And it's like, well, first off, most men who've been around and are in positions of power have something in their rearview mirror that might fall under the heading of this. A little strong arming of an assistant or at a cocktail party or Christmas party or something like that. That's number one. But number two, like, if you went, this guy's credibly accused of rape. You go, all right, how many people we talking about here? We're talking about three people. Okay, are they alive? Oh, yeah, yeah. They went out, they drank. She woke up in the bed. She didn't know how she got there. She had sex with him, but she was too drunk to consent. Okay, but if that guy was wildly competent and super impactful, think about crime. Think about homeless deaths. Think about all the death and destruction that happens on a fucking daily basis in this state. I mean, think about if that same guy was super competent with crime, then he would prevent a whole bunch of fucking deaths because of all the gang bangers and all the catch and release and all. I mean, all right, so that guy did that. So Abigail Spanberger in Virginia didn't rape anybody, but she won't hand over murderers to ice, and she won't deport people. She runs a fucking sanctuary city. Or California is a sanctuary state, right? So you got some fucking gang banger and you don't hand him over to ice, and then you let him out, and then he stabs your daughter on a train. Well, what would you rather for your daughter getting drunk and getting raped by Swalwell or getting the life taken out of her on a fucking train? Because these fucking incompetent governors run These cities this way, so fuck you. I'll. I'll take a guy. Now Swalwell is not only doing whatever he's doing with his lady stuff that you guys make a big deal. How about the fact that he's an incompetent dope who lies on TV every fucking day and would take the state further down the fucking road to ruin. He would do what Gavin Newsom is doing and finish the job, meaning finish the state. And no one has any problem with that. I got a problem with that. This part. He can fucking figure that out with his God and his wife and whoever. He's going to get sued and then he's going to have to compensate these people. Meanwhile, seven homeless people just fucking died in the street.

[Dawson]

This just in. You just recorded a new campaign ad for the relaunch of Eric Swalwell's 20.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's a rapist with an agenda and that.

[Guest/Contributor]

He's like.

[Adam Carolla]

He's like a car in every garage, a chicken in every pot and my dick in every intern and a pass

[Guest/Contributor]

down chick in every bed.

[Dawson]

They, they see Caesar Chavezed him faster than Cesar Chavez. But they had to know everything about this guy forever. And all the people are coming out saying, we've known this for years and years and years. It makes me think of House of Cards Kevin Spacey, where he would gather flawed politicians, prop them up, and then take them down at the right time, that it's good for them. And this is what. Yeah, Nancy Pelosi had this guy they

[Adam Carolla]

needed to get rid of. They need to get rid of him because they're. They want to maintain power.

[Dawson]

And he represented the place where I grew up. So I especially despise the man.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Guest/Contributor]

To go back to what you were saying, once you realize that you can either get along with people and go halfway up the mountain or you can hate everybody that you work with and get to the top. You'll go, you know what? I can deal with these people to get to the top of the mountain.

[Adam Carolla]

Mountain.

[Guest/Contributor]

That is what I want to get. I want to be the most productive and get the best outcome I can. Even if I can't stand these people, I would still rather work with them.

[Adam Carolla]

So now Kamala Harris is possibly tossing her dunce cap into the ring.

[Dawson]

Please.

[Adam Carolla]

Because she's. Now there's some sort of online campaign or something to get her to run.

[Guest/Contributor]

If former Vice President Kamala Harris were to launch a writing campaign for California governor, what are the chances you would write In Harris for governor.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, I'm gonna show a clip of her. Cuz I don't. You know, first people are sort of like, well, she was vice president, so this is a. She was a DEI hire. She's a fucking dope. Who, Biden? Because he's a bigger. Well, Biden's just a coward who just said, I'm gonna have a black female vice president. And by the way, she's not even black. I mean, she doesn't even present as black. She looked. She presents as Indian much more than she presents as black. But fucking fine. So she's a dope who got sucked into the White House, who did nothing as the borders are. And now she's thinking about gracing us with an appearance in California and running can continue to fuck up the state with her dumb ass. This is. Listen to me. I'm so tired of everyone with their fucking feelings. She's asking in this clip about the economy and this is her answer. Now look, you can say any. You make all excuses you want. She wasn't prepared for this or she didn't know what the question was. I don't give a fuck. She's a politician. She wants to make policy and she has no fucking thoughts in her head. And this is a very basic question. What's going on with the economy? And here's her answer.

[Jennifer Newsom]

What else are you going to do to fix this problem with inflation?

[Kamala Harris]

Thank you. Well, let's start with this. Prices have gone up and families and individuals are dealing with the realities of that bread costs more, that gas costs more. And we have to understand what that means. That's about the cost of living going up. That's about having to stress and stretch. Limited resources. That's about a source of stress.

[Adam Carolla]

Hold on, you gotta pause it for a second. First off, it's. The hands are all over the place. Just like Gavin Newsom, just like his flunky wife. The hands. There's hands everywhere. You can also see her. She keeps glancing down because she's looking for a note. She has a card that says economy on it. Or she has one that says border and one says taxes and one says,

[Dawson]

do you think she's killing time right here?

[Adam Carolla]

She's doing. When you're doing a TV show and the guy behind the camera, the producer's going, stretch, stretch. Because the guest is running away.

[Dawson]

It's an interesting question because question are very interesting.

[Guest/Contributor]

You can always tell when somebody's eyes go up and they're not really looking at anything. That's the gears in their head grinding.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Run it from the beginning. We'll watch her. She's killing time. She's using her hands and she's looking for her notes. But by the way, if you're gonna be the vice president or you'd like to be the president, have some thoughts about inflation.

[Guest/Contributor]

Yeah. You're supposed to know about this stuff.

[Jennifer Newsom]

What else are you going to do to fix this problem with inflation?

[Adam Carolla]

Looking down. Looking down.

[Kamala Harris]

Well, let's start with this.

[Guest/Contributor]

Eyes up, still up.

[Kamala Harris]

Prices have gone up.

[Adam Carolla]

Prices are up. Okay.

[Kamala Harris]

And families and individuals are dealing with the realities of looking down. Looking for the bread costs more, the gas costs more. And we have to understand what that means. That's about the cost of living going up. That's about having to stress and stretch limited resources. That's about a source of stress for families that is not only economic but is on a daily level something that is a heavy weight to carry. So it is something that we take very seriously. Very seriously. And we know from the history of this issue in the United States that when you see these prices go up, it has a direct impact on the quality of life for all people in our country. So it's a big issue and we take it seriously and it is a priority there.

[Rudy Pavich]

Hold on.

[Adam Carolla]

It's not such a big issue that I have an answer. Remember when Gavin Newsom came in here and his big issue was black and brown. People don't have access to checking accounts. That's his big issue. I pressed him for 20 minutes on an answer to his big issue. No answer. It does. Yeah. Found. Running a business, it is hard to keep track of how much money is coming in and where it's going. And that's why I use Found. Found gives you one platform that handles banking, bookkeeping, invoices and taxes. They handle the tasks that create the most hassle for small businesses. And they do it directly from your business checking account. They've automated things like tracking expenses, finding write offs and budgeting for tax time. I love comedy. I like podcasting, I like working on my cars. So the less time I have to worry about the nonsense, the better. Found has let me focus on what I love and I know it's going to help your business too. It's Found.

[Dawson]

Right, Dawson, Take back control of your business today. Open a Found account for [e-mail] that's f o u n d dot com. Found is a financial technology company, not a bank. Banking services are provided by lead bank member fdic. Join the hundreds of thousands who've Already streamlined their finances with Found.

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[Adam Carolla]

We're coming at you with everything we got. This is. This is the mindset. Breathe. This is the mantra. Breathe.

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[Adam Carolla]

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[Adam Carolla]

Ready?

[Rudy Pavich]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

I got a big issue. Okay, Ask me about my big issue, which is left turn red arrows.

[Guest/Contributor]

Adam, you know, I know you're very concerned and you have a lot of thoughts about left turn arrows. What is. What is your plan to go forward into the future and maybe to get these.

[Adam Carolla]

I just got back from fucking Utah. They do not ever turn red. They blink yellow. So they're either green or they blink yellow. Meaning you never have to stop. You can go when it's green and then when it blinks, you just stop and look for traffic. And if there's no traffic, you just go. You don't bottle up, you don't pile up, you don't queue up with it. Red. There's no reason it should ever be red. It should only be green and then either off or blinking yellow. And I would argue if fucking Salt Lake City can figure that out, we can bring it to God damn Los Angeles.

[Guest/Contributor]

Okay?

[Adam Carolla]

There's your fucking answer. Not arrows. Robin Hood had an arrow.

[Guest/Contributor]

Some are red, some are green, some are yellow.

[Adam Carolla]

William Tell had an arrow.

[Guest/Contributor]

There was a guy named Arrow.

[Adam Carolla]

Flynn Dodge made a compact car in the late 70s and early 80s called a Plymouth Arrow. There was an animated series in the early 70s called me and my era.

[Guest/Contributor]

Some people spell it A R, R, O, W. I tend to like A E, R, O.

[Adam Carolla]

But listen, take it very seriously. That's a priority for them. Not again. Not so much a priority that you'll venture an answer.

[Dawson]

Did you notice at the beginning she was very impressed with when she said stress and stretch?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Well, that's.

[Dawson]

She liked that alliteration. And I really think that if she does launch a write in candidacy for governor, which there could be nothing better. There could be nothing better that will fuck everything up on the other side.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I'm sorry. I put a tweet out.

[Dawson]

She'll have stress and stretch in a commercial.

[Adam Carolla]

It's not happening. No, because she was looking for stretch, but she said stress and then the alliteration. Watch it again. Watch. She's looking to say the word stress, but she says Stretch the human mind does that. Watch, we'll play anyway. I wrote a tweet, I said, look, you guys all hate Trump. Fine. What about this dope? This is what you're fighting for, this dope. So let's forget about Trump and all his foibles and all his tweets and forget everything Trump does. You wanted this. And so fuck right off, because I can't listen to you. I. She's looking to say stress. Okay, okay, watch.

[Jennifer Newsom]

What else are you going to do to fix this problem with inflation?

[Kamala Harris]

Thank you. Well, let's start with this. Prices have gone up and families and individuals are dealing with the realities of that bread costs more, that gas costs more. And we have to understand what that means. That's about the cost of living going up. That's about having to stress and stretch limited resources. That's about a source of stress for families. That is not.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, that's the point. She doesn't say anything. Now here's the real question. Why is this attractive? It is so attractive. I'm telling you. This is the problem with women. Women like this shit. Women like we're talking about nothing forever and nothing ever changes what we're talking about. This is a estrogen influx. There's no other way to describe this because this fucking never worked in the past and for some reason, the chicks love it. And I'll tell you know who loves this, by the way? You know who loves nothing talk the most? Black women. Black women love nothing talk. And that's why they vote 92% Democrat, because they're the fucking word salad talkers.

[Dawson]

Okay, but honestly, how would you fight the argument though, that Kamala slays?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah, she's brat, right? Is she brat or is she slang?

[Guest/Contributor]

If that was the David Beckham, Victoria Beckham scene, he would just peek his head in and go, be honest. And then it would just boil down to her just going, I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about.

[Adam Carolla]

The person asking the question has to go. I didn't ask for a description of what inflation was. I asked about how you are going to eradicate it or fight it or bring it down. All right, whatever you got next.

[Guest/Contributor]

All right, so sad day around Corolla one Digital. But television producer and puppeteer Sid Croft, the co creator of Land of the Lost and HR Pufnstuff, has passed away. He was 96 years old. I know he was a good friend of yours.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it was a very sweet soul. Interesting guy. It started because I used to make fun of Sid, Marty Kroff, constantly. Because they created some of the worst art ever. Ever created.

[Guest/Contributor]

Yeah, we were.

[Adam Carolla]

Wait, Dawson, there is a. There's a Sid and Marty Croft section in. In 50 years wall be Chicks, I think, where all I do is attack Sid. Sid, who's a very gentle soul who started off as a puppeteer back when that was a job and was the toast of Paris and that, like open for Judy Garland and stuff like, I mean, look, he's 96, so he's working in the 50s, you know, and even before that. And so he's been there, done that, everyone. And he's just an interesting, eclectic guy. His brother, who he doesn't like was kind of the businessman douche who was taking all the money. These guys at some point were like producing every third show on tv. My argument was Land of the Lost and HR Puffin, it was really Sigmund and the Sea Monster was probably the worst tv, some of this stuff, some of the worst art ever created. So then I would attack them and then at some point Sid got wind of it. And Sid came in to talk about it and we had nice conversation. He's a very gentle soul. It didn't change my opinion on my childhood watching their creations, but it shed a little light on the fact that he was this really creative talent. He was a creator, like he created all those puppets and all that world. He was more of an artist than he was a comedian or comedic writer. I didn't think he was a skilled writer, but he was a great artist, a creative type.

[Guest/Contributor]

Yeah. It's weird how the scales of justice will go both ways because you have guys who are very nice and very gentle who make garbage. And you can still look at them as being nice people. And then you have people that are absolute assholes who put out amazing music, movies, comedy, and you can still be able to separate the two. So this is a stat I wanted you to know. I don't know if you knew this or not. HR Puff and Stuff was the first live action life size puppet program. It defined Saturday morning television for a Generation. It debuted September 6, 1969. It ran for 17 episodes, with NBC scheduling it for reruns until 1971 due to its success, which is a weird way to put that. Reruns then ran on ABC off and on from 1971 to 1974. They syndicated this thing from 74 to 78, which means for nine years they reran 17 episodes and that's all they made of an HR puffinson.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, basically TV back then was like somebody giving you a magazine in prison. It was like, whatever magazine they hand, they hand Woman's Journal. And you'd read it nine times and beat off to it twice like you had no choice. I know. You want Sports Illustrated. We don't got that. We got Women's. We got Good Housekeeping. And you just. Fuck it. You couldn't go anywhere. You were trapped.

[Dawson]

Yeah, those were nice words, but here's your f. Eulogy.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh.

[Dawson]

I was on the CBS lot last year, and we were walking to the stage where I was shooting my sitcom. Somebody said, there's Sid and Marty Croft's office. Then, with a certain amount of pride, one guy said, marty's there. Would you like me to introduce you to him? I said, no. He said, why not? The guy's a legend. I said, a legendary hack. The guy stopped walking. He was shocked. He said, do you know how many shows Sid and Marty Croft got on the air? I said, I know. I watched them all when I was a kid. Far Out. Space Nuts. Land of the Lost, Sigmund and the Sea. Marsters. Artistically vacant. Derivative, hackneyed garbage. Basically, a big bowl of Styrofoam packing peanuts that came in a brightly colored box with a shitty prize in it. He said, how can you say that? The guy's a pioneer. He's 85 and still at work every day. I said, hard at work doing what? Warming over steaming piles of cat shit like Land of the Lost so that a new generation's IQ can be collectively lowered while this imbecile hammers another check? Then he said, why are you so angry at Sid and Marty Croft? I said, because idiots like you are trying to turn these guys into deities. They're rich. Isn't that enough? They came around during a time when there was no competition and monopolized Saturday mornings with shows like Sigmund and the Sea Monsters. One of the worst shows, nay, one of the worst creative endeavors ever undertaken. And now they want respect. I'll give you two scenarios. One is they actually thought they were artists and that the shit they were crapping out on every Saturday morning was good, which makes them delusional hacks. Or two, as I suspect they knew they were providing shit. They knew the checks would clear. They didn't give a fuck, which would make them evil hacks.

[Adam Carolla]

We'll miss you, sis. I stand by many of those words. Their work was horrific. But he was a gentle, kind guy who had, like, a wonderful imagination. I went to his house.

[Guest/Contributor]

Yeah. Cooked you dinner, right?

[Adam Carolla]

Cooked me dinner. It Was awesome. He had a whole big tree house. He lived in the hills. He loved it. So, Sid, you're a gentle soul. You lived a life, man. I mean, guys worked for 75 years, and he'll be missed. All right, what else we got?

[Guest/Contributor]

Let's do this one real quick. Cause it's a fun video to watch, and I want to get your thoughts on it. Sabrina Carpenter was put on blast by some fans for giving her honest reaction to a Coachella fan that she heard about yodeling over her performance at Coachella this weekend. Here's the video.

[Jennifer Newsom]

I think I heard someone yodel. Is that what you're doing? I don't like it.

[Rudy Pavich]

That's my culture.

[Adam Carolla]

That's my culture.

[Jennifer Newsom]

That's your culture is yodeling?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. I don't give a. About your culture.

[Guest/Contributor]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

You buy a ticket and shut up and let the player keyboard.

[Guest/Contributor]

Yeah.

[Dawson]

Did you notice the stage and all this stuff that's on it, like microphones and instruments?

[Guest/Contributor]

Yeah.

[Dawson]

Well, she's being called Shut up.

[Guest/Contributor]

Islamophobic. Because this is called zaruta. It is a form of celebration where she yells, my culture. The problem is if there was, like, some, you know, Christian dude in the back with, like, a set of leader hosing on and then that dude was out there, they'd go, hey, shut the fuck up and get to the back of the crowd. Stop interrupting. Don't you know she's at it. It's not like the crowd, that there's a whole band. It's her at a piano having a nice somber moment. You just shut your mouth and not be an asshole.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. And also, no one gives a fuck about your culture. Shut up. Yeah, listen, I am. So this. This between Islam and the LGBT or the trans. I've got an impacted asshole. All you. I don't. Shut the fuck up. I don't need to think about you every 10 minutes. And if you wanna be offended, go back to your shithole country and be offended there, where you'll be beheaded.

[Guest/Contributor]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Thank you very much. Carolla out. All right, this weekend, Desert Ridge Improv. Rudy's gonna be there.

[Rudy Pavich]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. Early show Friday, Sold out. We probably should have checked, but we don't. That's the way we roll. But there's tickets to all the other ones. I should talk to someone about checking that online thing, shouldn't I? Yeah.

[Guest/Contributor]

Hey, I'm gonna put this one on you for not having that conversation with people.

[Adam Carolla]

Adam, I'm gonna. Remind me to bring that up. You can go to AdamCroll.com for all the live shows. John Crist you can go John Chris comedy Rudy, what's your website? Yeah Rudy povichcomedy.com so till next time, Adam Krola for Rudy Pavitz and John Crist saying Mahala, pick up your phone

[Dawson]

and leave us a voicemail at 888-634-1744 and get to see Adam Corolla Desert Ridge Improv in Phoenix this weekend. Or Scottsdale, whatever it's this weekend. Get [e-mail].

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