Dr. Drew + Elliot Gould (Carolla Classics)

Summary

Adam Carolla Show (Carolla Classics) – Dr. Drew + Elliot Gould

December 12, 2025

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Episode Overview

This Carolla Classics episode revisits some of the most memorable moments from The Adam Carolla Show’s archives, featuring highlight clips from episodes with Dr. Drew Pinsky, Joe Koy, Gina Grad, Brian Bishop, and special guest Elliot Gould. The episode delivers the show’s signature irreverent humor, candid takes on relationships and pop culture, lively panel banter, and behind-the-scenes stories. Segments include comedic rants about wedding costs, household annoyances, car chases, parenting mishaps, and celebrity encounters, alongside recurring fan-favorite bits.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

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The Real Cost of Weddings & The Dress Debate

[02:00 – 09:20]

• Fan Question: Holly Carso asks how much weight she can gain per year after buying a $146 wedding dress.
• Adam’s Formula: He jokes that for every $100 over a $1,000 wedding dress budget, a bride should fit into the same dress for an additional year.
  • “For each hundred dollars you go above it, you must fit your fat ass in it for one year... Even if you're pregnant with triplets.” – Adam Carolla [03:32]
• Rant on Wedding Costs: Criticizes overspending, especially when it comes to dresses and flowers, and pokes fun at justifying costs by referencing supposed future uses.
• Cultural Commentary: “It's their one day to really not make sense.” – Adam Carolla [05:36]
• Panel banter about family traditions, who pays for weddings, and the irrational economics of “the big day.”

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Shower Temperatures & Dishwasher War

[10:17 – 18:20]

• Hot Water Showers: Listener asks Adam about his preference for hot water showers and how hot is too hot.
  • "It's like cracking a safe... dialing it in feels magical." – Brian Bishop [11:24]
• Dishwasher Rant: Adam rails against household dishwashers, complaining about inefficiency and how hand-washing is often repeated before loading the machine.
  • “It feels like that thing runs for two hours and could power the continent of Africa for the fucking two hours…”
• Childhood Memories: Adam reminisces about growing up with a tiny, poorly laid out kitchen and a mobile dishwasher on wheels, complete with quirky toolboxes and odd family routines.

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Parenting, Lost Money, and Suspect Interrogation

[67:06 – 94:57]

• The Case of the Missing Envelope: Adam discovers several hundred dollars have gone missing from his shop, suspects a guest with mental health issues, but considers that his young son Sonny (and even the housekeeper’s son Olga) could be culprits.
  • “I'm raising a thief. Or Olga is. Oh, yeah, Olga. Oh, I'm gonna have some crossovers.” – Adam Carolla [89:03]
• Live Kid Interrogation: In a hilarious and awkward call, Adam accuses Sonny live on air; Sonny denies it, then tries to negotiate a "reward" for returning the money.
  • “How much is the reward?” – Sonny Carolla [89:50]
• Parenting Philosophy: Adam and the crew debate how to punish or approach a young child caught (or suspected) of theft, and reflect on parenting mishaps with humor.

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News & Pop Culture Rants with Dr. Drew

[21:05 – 54:15]

• Train Derailment Story: Panel discusses a car stuck on train tracks and mocks the logic behind such dangerous mistakes.
  • “The time it takes to abandon something, isn't that the time it takes to turn left?” – Brian Bishop [22:52]
• Car Chases in LA: Panel lampoons endless police chases and police procedures, including the legal constraints that prevent ‘action movie’ endings.
  • Joe Koy joins with jokes about Asian drivers and culture around speed limits and traffic stops, spinning a spoof dialogue about confusion over “55 mph.”
• Legalized Marijuana: Commentary on Alaska legalizing weed, the impact on local culture, and comparisons to alcohol-related dangers.
  • “If you agree to raise a family in Alaska, you should get a hay bale of weed.” – Adam Carolla [46:56]
• Dr. Drew’s Insights: Discusses studies about peanut allergies and the relative risks of weed vs. alcohol, concluding, “Marijuana is roughly 114 times less deadly than alcohol.” [50:57]
• Booze vs. Weed: Debate on the social consequences and humor around alcohol and weed, with Adam joking that most “epic fail” moments in life come from drinking, not smoking weed.

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Celebrity Guest: Elliot Gould and Oscar Memories

[55:00 – 66:44]

• Oscars Behind-the-Scenes: Gould shares stories of presenting at the Oscars, attending rehearsals, and working alongside stars like John Wayne.
  • “They sat me next to John Wayne... I announced the score [of the NCAA game] when they opened the envelope.” – Elliot Gould [62:13]
• Panel Banter: The group jokes about rehearsal attendance, publicists, and the difficulty of reading teleprompters live onstage.
• Old Hollywood & Impressions: Nostalgic riffing about Hollywood legends, classic impressions (John Wayne, Jimmy Stewart), and the number of ceremonies Gould attended.

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Household Frustrations: The Smoke Detector Saga

[96:17 – 110:17]

• Cheap Smoke Detectors: Adam details his infuriating experience with disposable smoke detectors that chirp endlessly and cannot be silenced or repaired.
  • “I literally put it in the sink and drowned it... Finally, I just open the front door and chuck them out onto the driveway.” – Adam Carolla [102:16]
• Climactic Showdown: In frustration, Adam destroys the devices in his sink, finding visceral satisfaction in their demise.
  • “Nothing more viscerally satisfying. Like I was yelling 'fuck you' as I threw it and smashed it in the sink.” [106:31]
• Panel Laughter: Drew and Gina marvel at Adam’s absurd war with technology and offer practical but secondary solutions.

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Fan-Favorite Bit: Megan's Law Awards

[110:35 – 123:11]

• A comedic ranking of which cast and crew live near the most sex offenders, according to public registry data.
• Tongue-in-Cheek Insight: Adam and crew lampoon the nuances and flaws of public registry labels, differentiation of offenses, and the urban density of LA crime stats.
  • "This is the problem when everything is rape... That's what I like about arson—it's still arson." – Adam Carolla [113:46]
• Notable moment: Allison Rosen recounts a harrowing neighborhood disturbance leading to vandalism, sparking further banter about urban living hazards.

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Musical Guest: Nick Lowe Performs

[123:58 – 128:13]

• Legendary singer-songwriter Nick Lowe joins live in studio, performing "Christmas at the Airport," with the panel bantering warmly before and after the set.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On wedding dresses:
  “Nobody wants to wear the jizz encrusted, out of style... wedding dress that smells of mothballs and failure that your now-divorced mom wore in the 60s.” — Adam Carolla [03:39]

• On lost money:
  “I'm raising a thief. Or Olga is... I pay you to raise my son—some of that money goes to teaching him right from wrong. You witch.” — Adam Carolla [89:06]

• On parent/child negotiation:
  “How much is the reward?” — Sonny Carolla [89:50]

• On smoke detectors:
  "I literally just take both of them, open the front door and just chuck them out under the driveway. I just throw them out in the front steps. And it's raining outside. I'm like, let them just sit out there and just chirp." — Adam Carolla [102:16]

• On car chases and police work:
  "Cops, when someone enters a gated community... feel free to park the cruiser there. But no such luck." — Brian Bishop [35:17]

• On legal weed in Alaska:
  "If you agree to raise a family in Alaska... you should get a hay bale of weed." — Adam Carolla [46:56]

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• [02:00] — Wedding cost and dress discussion
• [10:17] — Shower temperature and dishwasher rant
• [21:05] — News: train derailment, car chases, Joe Koy joins
• [46:27] — Legal weed in Alaska
• [55:00] — Elliot Gould on Oscars, Old Hollywood
• [67:06] — Case of the missing envelope (Sonny interrogation)
• [96:17] — Smoke detector saga
• [110:35] — Megan’s Law Awards
• [123:58] — Nick Lowe live music

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Listener Takeaways

• Adam Carolla’s signature style shines through in comically exasperated rants about everyday frustrations, modern life, and family dynamics.
• The show is both acerbically honest and self-deprecating, with laughter and relatable moments in every segment.
• Celebrities are both revered and ribbed, and hard topics (finance, parenting, safety, relationships) are tackled with unfiltered candor.
• Recurring cast antics and inside jokes offer long-time fans extra payoff, but new listeners still have plenty to enjoy.

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The episode captures The Adam Carolla Show’s lively, no-holds-barred group dynamic—bringing listeners the humor, chaos, and camaraderie that keeps millions tuning in.

Transcript

[Adam Carolla]

Welcome to Corolla Classics. I'm your host, superfan Giovanni. This is the podcast we play the best moments and highlights from all 16 years. The Adam Corolla show. We have a companion podcast titled Corolla Classics available exclusively through podcast one. Sign up and get the ad free archives. And if you'd like to get the ad free archives of the Adam Carolla show, the Adam and Dr. Drew Show. Or you just want exclusive access to the brand new podcast to beat it out, make sure to check out Adam Corolla's substack adamkorolla.substack.com and if you'd like to request a clip, please email us classicsdamcorl.com now on to the clips. Coming up, first day we have Adam Krola show 1519 featuring Dr. Drew, Joe Coy, Gina Grad and Brian Bishop. This one's from February of 2015.

[Brian Bishop]

Hope you enjoy. You can tell things are boring by the silence. I noticed. You don't have to say it's boring. You're on stage holding a microphone and we're not hearing anything. I get cry that thus will draw the conclusion. Aboard. All right. All right, let's do one more.

[Gina Grad]

Okay. Holly Carso has a question from West Cove.

[Brian Bishop]

Holly Carso, possible hot name.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Oh, there you go.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, there you are. All the ones. Yeah. Listen, is it different than a.

[Gina Grad]

If you can't do Stacy Oakley, I'll take a Holly car. So.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, yeah. Well, like I said, Gertrude Bort. We need to see a picture Stacy Oakley. No picture Holly Carso, Harley Castle. I'll take your word for it. It's a. There's a. There's a couple of follow up, you know, but if you follow up questions.

[Gina Grad]

For her, if you vouch.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, there's. There's like two follow ups. Something, you know, there's a cup size and should we know anybody who knows her. But we're still in. We're still what?

[Gina Grad]

Celebrities you look like.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. All right.

[Gina Grad]

She wants to know she got married in August. You paid $146 for her dress.

[Brian Bishop]

Sweet. Nice hero.

[Gina Grad]

How much weight can she gain per year?

[Brian Bishop]

Sky's the limit. Well, Drew, I've said I forget your formula, but go ahead. The formula is. Well, first thing I'm trying to avoid is the $3,600 on the dress that will never be worn again. Right. So that's the first thing I'm attempting to avoid. Yes. By the way, you know what the number one argument to the $3,600 dress never going to be worn again. One day our daughter's going to walk. Oh good, it gets worn twice. Yeah, over the span of 41 years. Wow, what a bargain. I'm quitting my job, baby. We're on easy street. We're moving to Maui. What's that lake in Italy? That Como? Like Como? Clooney's got him behind the lake, kicking his ass off. Man, this is going to be awesome. Number so. So a couple things. First off, here's how I know this isn't going to happen. Because you are not wearing your mom's dress. Your mom fed the same line of bullshit to your dad in 1968. So that's much we know. Number two, nobody wants to wear the jizz encrusted out of style. Well, let's face it, no one wants to wear the jizz laden, way out of date wedding dress that smells of fucking mothballs and failure that your divorced now divorced mom wore back in the 60s, right? Yeah, absolutely. All right, so the rule, because I'm feeling Generous is $1,000 is what you can spend on a wedding dress. If you would like to exceed the thousand dollar limit, you may. But for each hundred dollars you go above it, you must fit your fat ass in it for one year. For each hundred dollars, one year, want to go 1500, five years, you got to fit into that dress. I don't care if you're pregnant with triplets getting you in there. I say it's the only time a woman would bulk up for the wedding. She'd really be packing on the carbs. You'd wake up like two nights before the wedding, she'd be making a peanut butter and banana smoothie in the kitchen at like 3:00am you're like, Sweetie, what are you doing? Gotta fit into my dress. Try to stretch it out. I got expensive dress here. Yeah, so what? 186 on the 147. 146, sorry. 146 on the dress. Nice. She can make up nice. Do you think? Can I ask this, let's be goddamn honest. Is there could you tell the difference between the $146 dress and the $4600 dress when you're standing?

[Gina Grad]

Well, 146 implies like what? Thrift shop, secondhand vintage kind of thing.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Dead new, not jewel encrusted. Something simple and tasteful.

[Brian Bishop]

Right, but simple and tasteful, what's wrong with that? I mean the other thing is, is if you are not an owner, if you're a renter, if you live in an Apartment. I got, like, 7,500 bucks is the cap on the wedding. You can't be spending $31,000 on a fucking wedding. Makes no sense. Well, women don't make any sense, Drew. And it's their. It's their one day to really not make sense. You know what I mean? Like, most days, people are going, are you crazy? I'm driving. No, you sit over there. You don't make sense. But for that one day in their life, they get to not make sense and get away with it. You know what I mean? Yeah. I want all the bridesmaids to wear a dress picked in a color that makes them look fat. It's my day not to make sense. I'm gonna spend a whole shitload of money on flowers that we're gonna throw away 20 minutes after this fucking thing ends. It's my day not to make sense. Then they get together with their other friends that don't make sense, and they explain to you why you're getting a deal. Like, I'm like, The florist is $3,300. Hey, we're getting a deal. Really? What universe are we getting a deal for flowers? For 3200? I bought three pickup trucks. My first three pickup trucks didn't add up to $3200. Hey, it's my day not to make sense. And my friend Jody's wedding, they spent. They always see, they find some crazy friend with some eccentric, rich hedge fund dad who decided to literally cut down a hedge and fund it and spent, thank you, $8,500 on fucking dead plant life. And somehow I'm getting a deal now because you have a crazy, rich, eccentric friend.

[Gary Smith]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

By the way, this whole. This whole fucking scam where. Well, the fuck. Father of the bride. Yeah, he lives in a trailer, and he's out around Valencia. And he didn't contribute, and neither did anyone in my family. I paid for the whole goddamn thing.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Do you plan on paying for your daughter's wedding?

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, he'll have to.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, that.

[Brian Bishop]

See, I'm going to be. I'm going to be screwed now. I should. If in the. Dad didn't pay for my wedding. So Lynette's dad did not pay for our wedding. I. I should get grandfathered in on a clause, right? Sorry, sweetie. It's a family tradition now. But, Daddy, you sold Mangria for $200 million. Yeah, life's a bitch. Yeah. I should now write. I should get the kickback, right?

[Gina Grad]

Put in writing now.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Gina Grad]

Holly, was the rest of your wedding so economical. No, I was gonna say your day. Not to make sense, but didn't. Did that make sense?

[Brian Bishop]

You did.

[Gina Grad]

What, on the food?

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

No, the place.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, the place.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, the place. I thought you said place also. Yeah. Maybe there's a palate issue, the venue. And maybe it's not just a cuisine.

[Gina Grad]

What kind of venue was it?

[Brian Bishop]

Beautiful. Now, what'd you do? Did you rent a place out or did you know somebody or. I ran a place. So you spent the money where you should spend it, right? The dress. And by the way, the dress is the present that never stops giving in that it needs to be put in storage. And now you have to pay for the storage. Specially sealed. Has to be sealed and put somewhere with some sort of monthly payment so that no one can ever wear it again. By the way, the video. I used to say the video is an insane waste of time because you never dig out that video and watch that video. The only time you watch that video is after the divorce when you're sitting there with the bottle of Jack Daniel between your legs and your underpants and you're seeing if you get your big toe onto the. Under the hunting rifle trigger where you are. That's the only time you watch that video. I've seen enough movies to know that wedding video never comes out until the cops make Divorced Solitary Teardrops. Right? Music playing Or. Or whatever. She bought it. Hang gliding accident. It's always. It's never good. No, it's never good.

[Gina Grad]

It's bittersweet at best.

[Brian Bishop]

It's bittersweet. All right, let's do. Let's do one more. Dr. Drew's gotta hit the road really pretty soon. Try to get rid of it. Oh, yeah, I do.

[Gina Grad]

Where's Fernando Saldana of Azusa, California?

[Brian Bishop]

Azusa? Yeah. Okay, Fernando.

[Gina Grad]

So, Adam.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, hold on, Fernando. I will throw myself off this stage like Ann Margaret, if you do not know the Abbas and Margaret fell off a stage in Vegas. 72. Could have been 77.

[Gina Grad]

You don't know more timely references.

[Brian Bishop]

Find the story, Gary. Prove me right. I will. You know the song Fernando by abba, right? Okay, thank Christ. Because when people have a song with their name in it and they've never heard of it, it drives me insane. All right, all right.

[Gina Grad]

His question. So, Adam, you shower with only hot water, and I have started taking your advice.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, Jesus. Genius, humanity.

[Gina Grad]

But how hot does the shower need to be? Are we talking being able to soak your cock and balls for 30 seconds at a time? Because when I turn up the heat, I Got to turn it down real quick. Please help. Three exclamation points.

[Brian Bishop]

Wow. Can I say this? Uh.

[Elliot Gould]

Oh.

[Brian Bishop]

Why does the hot water at either your house or. And we're going to get back this dishwashing thing. Oh, Jesus. The hot water at restaurants. You ever go to wash your hands at a restaurant and your skin comes off because. Or. Or it's cold. One of the others. Either settings. Yeah. No, when you turn the hot. If there's two. When you go for the hot, it is way too hot. And I have the same thing at my house, which is way hotter than I need it to be. I don't know why. There's something about dialing it in that makes you feel magical. Like cracking a safe.

[Nick Lowe]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

You know what I mean? Oh, yeah.

[Gina Grad]

Stethoscope up to the safe.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. Yeah. He's one of the best showermen in the business. He's one of the best second story shower guys in the business. He's not a wheelman, he's a showerman. Yeah. Yeah. His back sack is so sensitive that he can back sack. Yeah. I. Again, just the hot water, just the. Just the hands through the hair, just the 30 second rinse is all I. All I got. But I will say that a little of that Dr. Fuglies peppermint soap on the Dr. Bronner's. Yeah. You actually want soap. How about that? Well, people bring soap into my home. I see. I don't purchase soap, but once in a while when I'm napping or out of town, it makes it in, deliver it, magically smuggle it into the shower. But you can do 10 minutes on dishwashers because your dishwasher bought the farm. My dishwasher is dead. And it's awesome because I hate fucking dishwashers. Like what? It's awesome because every night I sit there and. And I watch my nanny, or my wife, mostly my nanny, stand over the sink with a sponge on a plate with hot water coming out of the spigot. Soap. Yes. And often soap doing the thing, rinsing it off. And then instead of the move where she puts it on the rack to the left, she bends over and fills the machine and then fires the thing up. And it feels like that thing runs for two hours and basically could power the continent of Africa for the fucking two hours. Chugging and pumping and po. And. And then at a certain point she opens it and the plume of steam comes out and her hair up. And then there's always a little controversy too. Are they these clean? I can't Tell if this been better be safe. Put it in for another cycle again. Here's why I can't tell if they're dirty or clean. They're fucking clean because you wash them in the sink, then they put them in and then they have to bend over and unload the machine two hours later. And I'm like, there was a point in this dance of the tards where you were standing over a sink with hot water running upon the plate and a sponge, where if you'd Given an extra 1.7 seconds, you could have just put it over here. That shall not do. That shall not do. No. No. Why don't you just take the kids, throw a fucking. Throw cannonball in their underpants and toss them into the pool. Because that's what you're saying. And I'm like, I don't know why we're doing this. Why are we doing this? Well, here's some good news. The washing machine broke. Yes. And as we've safely established, the only time anything around the house ever gets fixed is when moi fucking does it. And guess which fucking moi doesn't want this piece of shit box that steals my energy and my water and my soul. Guess who doesn't want that thing fixed? Adam Wa. Adam Wa. That's right. Me. Wah. So I ain't doing shit about it. And that means it will never get done because as we've established, I have to do everything. It's gonna be awesome. What if a new dishwasher turns up? I'm tickled pink. It won't. What? Just what if, though? I don't want to say this because it's part of my plan and I don't want Lynette to hear it, but I will. I will. If there's any talk about. Hey, when is that dishwasher? I'll do the. I'm looking at a couple on Amazon. I'll get back to you. I just bought myself six months. I just bought six months. You understand?

[Gina Grad]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. Now I'm already a week in and they're just putting them on the rack like a told them to do my whole life. So now I have a little muscle memory going and it's a history. And I quick choose a meal deal with McValue. The five dollar McChicken meal deal, the six dollar McDouble meal deal, or the new seven dollar Daily Double meal deal, each with its own small Fries drink and Four Piece McNuggets. There's actually no rush. I'm just excited for McDonald's for a limited time. Only prices and participation may vary. Not badly for McDelry. I think we can just ride this one out. Did the Corolla household have a dishwasher? If we just did a freestanding one, you'd push around the kitchen. One of those things. My mom had the one on the four casters. My kitchen was as big as my fist growing up. Growing up. My house. I just told you.

[Gina Grad]

Hold on.

[Brian Bishop]

You had a tough childhood. I didn't know it. I don't talk about it. No, you don't talk about it. I don't like to complain. I don't like to complain. I don't like. Complain. I've never heard. I don't like to verbalize it. My childhood. But my house that I grew up in in North Hollywood has now been sold and sold to a person who is going to bulldoze it so that they can build a real house in its place. That's how bad that house you got to get pictures of before it goes down. I got pictures of it. All right. Okay. There ain't much to take a picture of. It's 900 square feet of. I want to see your. Your. Your stepdad's cool tool chat chained to the wall. I want to see those pictures like that. When I moved out, my room was turned into a storage closet, which it was to begin with. And when my sister moved out, her room was turned into a storage closet. They both were turned into offices, not guest rooms.

[Gina Grad]

Storage for what?

[Brian Bishop]

Junk that will never see the light of day.

[Gina Grad]

I can't imagine your parents accumulating a lot of things.

[Brian Bishop]

My stepdad has a couple of toolboxes. And, you know, when they go to Costco, they buy a few cake pieces of, you know, whatever, sparkling cider or something and throw it in there. That's what my room is being. Toolbox, monkey wrench, couple screwdrivers, and it's a pantry. Maybe. Maybe a ratchet set or something. And he chains it. He chains it. Chains it to the. All right. Okay. God damn it, Drew. I'm gonna cry. I can't see a crying aquarium.

[Nick Lowe]

Okay.

[Brian Bishop]

He's a tuna. There's a 4x4 post that is in my sister's former room because my grandfather built her a loft bed because there's not enough room. The footprint of the room is not large enough to put a small bed in. Right. So he put it above ground so my sister could have a dresser in there. And my stepdad takes his toolbox with his $40 worth of shitty tools in it and chains it to the post. Now, he always says it's so somebody breaks in and reach $40 worth of shitty tools. But I always assumed it was to keep me away from. From the tools. But anyway, they're quirky. They're quirky.

[Gina Grad]

Group delightful.

[Brian Bishop]

They sleep in a separate rom com. Yeah. Yeah. My mom's kitchen was much smaller than the stage and not well laid out at all. But in it was the mobile dishwasher on the four casters that had to be pushed to the sink and then hooked up to the sink via the retractable hose that was in the back of it. And it was just. It'd be like if you took the. Like. So like if you took a. A kitchen that was in a small boat and somebody just put a coffin in it, like, that's how much sense it made to wash the dishes. Except for she never fucking cooked. Other than that, it was a great idea. Did she wash her bongs in there or anything or. She didn't use. How dare you. I cherish that woman. How dare you attack her. Wow.

[Allison Rosen]

Wow.

[Brian Bishop]

My mom smoked a doobie and put it in what's called a stone.

[Gina Grad]

I don't know what a stone is.

[Brian Bishop]

A stone is like somebody was making a Swedish meatball of clay and squishing it and squished it with their two fingers right at the end. But first they poked a hole in it so they could put a doobie in one end of it. It's. It's.

[Gina Grad]

Smoke it through the stuff.

[Brian Bishop]

Yes, It's. It's a. That's one of the dish. Yeah. That's what it looked like. Yeah. There could be no more intrusive device in these very small kitchen. Is this the kitchen? No, my kitchen was smaller than this kitchen. And we did not do still photography. Right, right. Yes. It's in. In lieu of using a roach clip, you use a stone.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Okay.

[Brian Bishop]

I've heard of it. Yes.

[Allison Rosen]

Oh, yes.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Coolest equipment in the 70s. Yes. All right, we have the news. We have Joe coy. We have Dr. Drew. When. True. What time is it? Geez, you. You gotta go. All right. Hey, I'm gonna be a plug. Dr. Drew, everybody. The podcast, The Adam and Dr. Drew Show. New episodes Thursday and Sunday on iTunes. And the TV show Dr. Drew on Call everybody. He's dreamy. And that's Monday through Thursday, 9pm Eastern on HLN website DrDrew.com all right, Joe Coy is going to join us at some point, but until he does, I think we can jump off with the news, shall we do that.

[Matt Fondelier]

Gina Grass, the Adam Corolla show, your source for the news that matters or random stories that piss Adam off.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Well, I'm gonna start on a little bit of a down note because it was a big occurrence today. The driver of a truck accused of causing a train derailment Tuesday morning that injured nearly 30 people, four critically, was arrested on a felony hit and run charge. The train hit a vehicle. It was a truck and a trailer on the tracks and caused many of the cars, I think all of them actually, to topple over. And one was in the streets.

[Brian Bishop]

Do you think there's. In 2015 or just in general, there's an inordinate amount of. Well, my car was just on these train tracks. I don't feel you should have figured it out ever. In a situation where it's like, well, the arm wasn't functioning. Yeah, but your right foot worked, didn't it? Like.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

Don't you feel like you're four feet away from averting any catastrophe whatsoever? Like, why is there so much. Well, the car was stuck or we were trying to beat the. Why is there so much of that?

[Gina Grad]

Train tracks are not posed that big of a problem at this point, and.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

This one was actually worse. Instead of going over it, I think he thought it was a road and went parallel, took a left on the train track.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, so we literally. Oh, man. And it was. It was dark. Too dark.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

It was 555.

[Brian Bishop]

And trains just have that single light.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

So he's like, oh, there's some on moped. Wants to play chicken. We'll see. All right, buddy. I hope you got more than 80cc's in that Vespa because I'm about to run over your ass. This is a Ford F250 king cab.

[Gary Smith]

All right.

[Brian Bishop]

Not a 150. I'm coming right at you, boy.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, this. This scooter has a cow catcher.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, it sure is a shitty stretch of road.

[Allison Rosen]

And they.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

They actually found the guy wandering two miles from the crash. Just kind of. What the. Just happened?

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, the guy who abandoned.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Yes.

[Brian Bishop]

Why abandon the time it takes to abandon something? Isn't that the time it takes to turn left? Is there ever a situation where you just, like, you're at an intersection or you're anywhere, or you see a guy, like, you're on the freeway? It happened to me. I was driving to work today. I was on the freeway, and another guy in the 1354 started to merge into my car. I didn't abandon the car. I didn't like roll down the passenger window and just do a shoulder roll. I steered a little bit the other direction and thus avoided the guy who didn't see me. But I never just jump out of the sunroof.

[Gina Grad]

So you're questioning the logic of the guy who turned left and drove down a train track?

[Brian Bishop]

I am, yeah. He may have been a little bit out of it, but. But I am saying, you know, this is like, you know, it's not true lies and you're not Jamie Lee Curtis and we're not on a bridge in Florida. Take that slightly more time. Slightly more time.

[Gina Grad]

We're getting into this century.

[Brian Bishop]

Yes. All right, all right. Sad. Did you guys see there was a car chase yesterday out here? Did you guys see that story on the, on the news? What drives me nuts is these things, they go, it started 90 minutes ago in Northridge and now they're in, I don't know, fucking Redlands or something.

[Gina Grad]

Why is the protocol just to follow slowly? Why is it.

[Brian Bishop]

I don't know. Because at a certain point it's like they got the helicopter on the guy and it's like, oh, he's running some traffic. Oh, he's, he's, he's driven over the lane, he's driving in oncoming traffic. And you're like, how pissed would you be if 90 minutes ago some junkie got into his pickup truck in Northridge and then it's an hour and a half later and you're in Redlands with your kid and oh, head on collision, like, do something, would you? Cops, Cops fault. It's a. Attorney's fault. Because if the guy shot out the tires, the guy got, the guy would sue for damages and the state would have to award him or the city or whatever it is. The cops can't do anything but follow the guy, which is not helping the person he's going to run over. I had a. I was at home when I lived up Beechwood Canyon. Beechwood Canyon goes up to the Hollywood sign and Beechwood Canyon and Hollywood land area, as it's called, is there's one way in and there's one way out. And I was in my house and I think Ray or one of my jackoff buddies called and was like, hey, turn on the news. There's a, there's a high speed chase coming right up your street. And I watched the helicopter, I was watching the news. Guy walks, the guy drives right up Beechwood Canyon, turns onto my street. I go outside, I see him drive by my house and I think to myself, well, there's only one way out of this. It's coming back down. West Shire Drive. West Shire Drive is a loop.

[Gina Grad]

The way he got in.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, the way you got in. Oh, no. There's an exit that goes back to Beechwood, but it just makes a big loop. It's fucking nothing. Jo Koy. Love you, buddy. Psycho. What the. Joe Coy. The cops aren't stupid. We're talking about car chase protocol. There was a big one yesterday, and what they're going to do, Joy Coyote, they're going to block off the bottom of Beechwood Canyon and then this thing's going to be over. Oh, no. Looped around, went down Beechwood, got on the 101, drove off to the one what stayed on the 101. Drove to Northridge, got off on like Devonshire or something. Two hours later, the guy was out of his truck and running through like a senior living home. And I'm thinking, what is the plan? This guy dies of fucking old age.

[Gina Grad]

Or just has to like, he's gonna wait it out.

[Brian Bishop]

He's gotta stop eventually. He's gonna need to hydrate, he's gonna need to rehydrate, and he's gonna get peckish. And that's when we make our move. Thanks. Cops. Let me tell you. Who else can follow a guy?

[Gary Smith]

Me.

[Brian Bishop]

I don't have a gun. I don't have a squad car, I don't have a baton. I can follow the guy. What do we fuck we need you for? We're just following the way he runs out of gas. Jesus Christ. So, Gary, whatever happened, I hate to. I hate to say this. Jocoy Asian drivers. Oh, no. Because that chase would have been over like 10 seconds. Why am I even trying to outrun anybody? Yeah, no, they don't try to. The Asians in general don't try to elude. Catch me if you can. Cops. Yeah. Oh, shit. I've been caught. They don't. They do not. They do not attempt to elude the. The cops. You know what I'm saying? You know, like. Like when the cops pull the Asians over, it's like you realize how fast you're going. I can't even see. Yeah, you. You were. I pulled you over because you were doing 18 and a 55. Well then I'll slow down, officer. No, no, no, no. You're so sorry. No, no, you're missing. I just made this call. Car. All right, you. You're maybe missing my point. Uhhuh. 55 is the. Is the speed that we. Wow. What are you driving a rocket. 50. 55. You know, a Prius can easily do 55 when I never hit that speed before. Unless I'm going to. I've not seen that Michael J. Fox movie you speak of. Very good. Are you a fan of the DeLorean? I love DeLorean. DeLorean. DeLorean. DeLorean. It's a DeLorean. Yes. Very good car, the DeLorean. Fast and furious. Yeah, yeah, for sure. Yeah, yeah, It's. It's made of stainless steel. Ah, Stainless stereo. Yeah, it's a DeLorean stainless steel car. Absolutely. Okay, absolutely. Maybe we probably digressed a little bit anyway. Yeah, we digressed. Can you say digress? Digress. Okay, all right, let's not digress. All right, the point is this. The speed limit posted speed limit. Yes. 55. Oh, my God. Yeah. Wow. No, no.

[Gary Smith]

Wow.

[Brian Bishop]

No, that's. Wow. No, you're probably too fast for me. No, you're missing. Too fast for you. Yeah, no, I think. I think you're missing everybody. You may be missing my point here. Maybe. Maybe my inflection is wrong. Can you say inflection? Yeah. Okay. Maybe I'm putting the wrong emphasis on the wrong syllable. Yes. Okay. You know the red rocker, Sammy Hagar? Oh, yes, Sammy Hager. Sammy Hay. Yeah. Okay. Van Heron. Right? Van Heron. Heron. Van Heron. Oh, Halen. Right. Yeah. Before that he was on his own. Okay. Solo.

[Elliot Gould]

Ah.

[Brian Bishop]

He had a song called I can't drive 55. Neither can I. Yeah, no, that's. Neither cannot. He knows something we all know. No, no, no, no, no, no. Was. He's telling everyone to slow down. No, he was slow down. No, that was driving a red rocker. So much safer. The. The gist of.

[Adam Carolla]

Of.

[Brian Bishop]

Of. Of Sammy's song was that 55 was too slow for him. Oh, yeah. See, 50. 55 saves lives. Makes no sense. Yeah, so anyway, he can't drive 55. Yeah, he can't because he. 18. No, no, he. Okay, you know what? I shouldn't have used the song as a look at all the car behind me. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. They're angry. Look at all of them. I know. Not one accident. No, because you give me ticket. What an asshole. I was the guy. Drive for two and a half hour. 5,000 mile hour. I. I will. Hold on a sec. Get out car, start running first. Off I go. 18. Look at this. Like a parade behind me. Everyone get to work safely. You don't even have to wear a seashell. An hour? How. How long would it have you Driven to San Diego? Yes, I have. How long did that take you? 14 days. 14 days. One of the best. Drives 101 to see everything. Right. But for most people it's a two or three hour drive. H. Beautiful. Just dry one time. Have you ever driven to the 14 day you from the Bay Area? 18. Just a parade of car. Have you? Yeah, that's what they say. I'm number one. They drive by Y number one. You don't understand. Culturally, I don't believe what. What, how we do things in America. The middle finger is not. Not number one. It's the longest finger and it says it's number one. They point at me and they say, yo, number one. I say, thank you. Your number one, too. And I get it right back at him. It could be a sign of respect where you. Where you're from, but here, no. Are you Asian? Have you have any relatives in the bay area? Oh, lots. Lots of relative in the bay area. Ever driven to the bay area? Ah, yes, I have. Yes. I had. How many days? How many days to the bay? Yeah. One month maybe. Yeah. To see it could be done on the grapevine in just six, seven hours. Through Baker Field. No, no, that's all. That's all the way to San Francisco. Bakersfield, through Baker field to Bakersfield, through Baker field. Two bakers. Feels about two and a half hours. Grapevine to Bakersfield. Yeah, it's about two hours. Okay. Do you drive? What I'm saying is you're driving too slow. I pick up the pace. I don't understand. 55. I do. No problem. Nobody get. Nobody get injured. I don't do anything. What do you drive? Going slow and slave. What do you drive in a school zone when school's in session? 45 miles per hour.

[Elliot Gould]

What?

[Brian Bishop]

I hate kids. And scene. Thank you. Thank you very much. The great Bangladesh Joy. Man, you.

[Gina Grad]

Man, I was. I was starting to wonder if we were ever going to write him that ticket.

[Brian Bishop]

Pretty chatty.

[Gina Grad]

Pretty chatty cop.

[Brian Bishop]

I also knew quite a bit about Back to the Future from someone who.

[Gina Grad]

Never said Michael J. Fox is in it.

[Brian Bishop]

All right, shut up, loud mouth. All right, easy, brown sugar. Now listen. Trying to do a show. Now there. How did the car chase end? Because I am so.

[Gina Grad]

It's still going.

[Brian Bishop]

I am so sad to report to you that the only way I knew there was a car chase yesterday in Southern California is because I'm a huge intellectual. I TiVo TMZ. And you want to know the most frustrating thing in the world? TMZ is a half Hour and the news is before it. But when they have a car chase they run it through. But I fast forwarded all the way through to where it ended. But the guy was still in the car and smoke was coming out of the car. What we were done.

[Gina Grad]

Cliffhanger.

[Brian Bishop]

Cliffhanger. So how did it end after 135 mile an hour chase and stand up pick up drivers and chip. Oh, in custody.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

The don't they usually go to the docks like in San Pedro or Long beach and they just run out of road.

[Brian Bishop]

This guy drove through Pedro a. A gated community.

[Gina Grad]

Brazen.

[Brian Bishop]

And dropped somebody off. No, he did it. I swear to God. So he was in a chase scene and then typed in a code to get in. No, he burst.

[Allison Rosen]

He.

[Brian Bishop]

He punched through the cage pound.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

I'm free.

[Brian Bishop]

No, you gotta remember it was your birthday.

[Gina Grad]

Was it Kevin Hart?

[Brian Bishop]

Well the thing 0621. Right. The thing that was funny is the newscasters were like he may have just dropped someone off at the house, you know. And I'm like, I highly doubt this chap lives in a gated community. Someone was late for work. It's not the work of a guy who lives in a gated community but he found a gated community, dropped somebody off at the gated community and then popped through the other side. By the way, once again, cops, when someone enters gated community there's really. I mean other than tunneling out, there's one gate and there's another gate. Feel free to park the cruiser there. But no such luck. He had to keep going. He had to run and he eventually bashed into another car. And then everyone just sat there, you know what I mean? Like the cops all got out of their cars, all drew the guns, all did the stuff but everyone in all the other cars was just like, yeah, we're just going to see what happens here. And it's like, Adam, why do you hit it? Why do they draw the guns? I never understood why you draw the fucking gun. What do you want to do? Well, I just don't understand. You draw it and then they take off and then they put it back in. Yeah. Why the fuck did you take it out? It's no good. By the way. Don't even have a gun. People shoot. Yes. When shoot the.

[Gary Smith]

Wow.

[Brian Bishop]

When, when somebody drew a gun, it used to mean something. Mean a little. A little fear would be in the heart of whoever was on the other end of the barrel. Now it's like, go ahead and shoot me, I'll sue your ass. Yeah. All Right. So anyway, eventually got out of the car, but all the cars around him at the intersection just sat there and watched like nobody just turned off and. And got out of there. Yes.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

They don't put down that strip anymore to pop the tires.

[Brian Bishop]

No. I miss that strip.

[Gary Smith]

Me too.

[Brian Bishop]

Me too. By the way, that takes timing and precision. If they're not going to use that strip, I'll use it. I mean, I'll buy it off. I'll just throw it in the trunk just in case, you know, I'll use that bad boy.

[Gina Grad]

How would you use it?

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

I.

[Brian Bishop]

You know, in a multitude of ways, Brian. Thank you for asking.

[Gina Grad]

Well, please, name one or two.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, let's just say the wife was going off to buy something that was a little expensive.

[Gina Grad]

A new dishwasher.

[Brian Bishop]

A new dishwasher. She's going. She just googled Bosch and she's now going off to buy a dishwasher. And I gotta throw the fucking strip out.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah. Behind her car.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Gina Grad]

She can't escape the premises.

[Brian Bishop]

Or let's say it's one of those things where it's like it's parent teacher conference night and everyone's mandatory show up and we gotta. Down. Sit. Sit down with Sonny's teacher. I'll just roll it out in the driveway, you know? Well, four flat tires. We can hardly go to this. You know what I'm saying?

[Gina Grad]

Four flat tires.

[Brian Bishop]

Use it to my use of my advantage. Yeah, I can. I only have one donut. Yeah, one donut. That's right. Still can't make it. Yeah. How you. How you liking the Tesla, by the way? I love it. You love that car? Yeah, it's the best car in the world. Yeah, I love it. So fast. Yeah. No, so fast. And then I pop the. The hood. Groceries. Yeah, that's. That's my favorite car. Comes with groceries. Like a Porsche. Pull up and show me an engine and I just pop my hood and I'm like, groceries. But that's bread and that's a cinnamon roll. It comes with a cinnamon roll. It comes with a cinnamon roll. Wow. Yeah. I thought there were groceries you bought and they stored it in front. Wow. They store it in there. It's display food items. I really want that car now. Yeah. All right. Which one did you get? Top of the line. Ah, that's what I love about Joe Coy. Only the best kids about his lack of speed, but he's got the need for it. All right, what else we got, Gina, Graham.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Well, the BBC reports that eating peanut products as a baby dramatically cuts the risks of allergies, of course.

[Brian Bishop]

Pussies.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Trials. Trials on 628 babies prone to developing the allergy found that the risk was cut by 80%.

[Brian Bishop]

By the way, who's offering up their infant child? You know what I mean? Hey, we're gonna conduct some experiments. He's a German guy. I don't know his full name. But anyway, he's a pretty good doctor. I haven't checked him out, but he's over at the university. It's a junior college, but take your infants and drop them on by. Yeah.

[Gina Grad]

Long story short, there's 120 bucks in it for you.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, like, who is offering their kids up for these things?

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

People that didn't want their kid to have a peanut allergy. Or kill them.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, yeah. Oh, look. You know, look, there's the happy news is he could eat as much Peter Pan and Jiff as humanly possible. There's another part. He could come home in a bag. Either way, go into anaphylaxis, we're gonna find out. By the way, why is Peter Pan peanut butter called Peter Pan Peanut butter? Peter Pan do anything with peanut butter? Peanut butter in the movie.

[Gina Grad]

I don't think there's any peanut related.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

The Lost Boys nary ate one peanut butter sandwich.

[Brian Bishop]

That's how. Yeah, he never said the Lost Boys. Who wants peanut butter and jelly? I'm doing this. Why? Why? Why him or her or it?

[Gina Grad]

Why license Peter Pan?

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, why?

[Gina Grad]

If you're the peanut butter company.

[Brian Bishop]

You know what? I'll sell this peanut butter.

[Gina Grad]

You should have licensed the elephant peanuts when the one to license.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

That's not an alliteration.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, but Dumbo would be the opposite of, like, smart.

[Gina Grad]

Water Dumbo Peanut butter.

[Brian Bishop]

People don't like to eat stuff that starts with dumb Dip.

[Gina Grad]

Peanut butter.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. I used to be able to solve this Rubik's Cube. Now tip. No, but it's like, I used to be able to solve this Rubik's Cube and do my own taxes. Now I'm lost.

[Gina Grad]

Give me some more peanut butter.

[Brian Bishop]

And I'm eating it with my hand now. I used to use a knife. Yeah. Yeah. Dumbo.

[Gina Grad]

Probably not at first glance, the message.

[Brian Bishop]

You want to send, but gay guy in tight's probably not the message you want to send either. You know what I mean? Who never grows up? I don't know. All right. Just me. On the other hand, Jiff is a pretty shitty name for peanut butter, too. And while we're at it, Jiffy Skippy. Yeah, what is this? Laura Scudders Come on. Hey, any guys you name peanut butter out there? You guys are fucking up royally. And you better hope I don't get involved with peanut butter, because I'll do one. You know who doesn't? Excellent excellence. You know who doesn't? Adam the planner's peanut guy. Why doesn't he have peanut butter? He's the one that deserves peanut butter. He's a. Well, you're right. He does. Well, that's a peanut. You know, I mean, he's like hawking cashews on and listen, this isn't even me. And you know what? Where's my butter? I make it. No, no. I'm a peanut and I can make butter. But Peter over here is selling his jif. He's selling his. Skip that idiot. He's selling his. What about me? Well, listen, I'm a peanut.

[Adam Carolla]

I want.

[Brian Bishop]

I want some of my butter. Brown sugar. Look at my brown sugar. Whoa. Look at my ass off. Okay, I'm making peanut butter right now. Okay, I'll just do it. I don't know how it happened. I don't even know how I do it brown. There's no processing. It just happens. Brown sugar, put in a goddamn jar. Put my face on it, give me some royalties. Joe. Joe, the is wrong with you, Jeff? Brown sugar. Hold on a second. I don't want you to spin out here, but it is black. By the way, I made you some peanut butter for Christmas. Hold on. It's Black History Month. Yeah, I know. I have a pretty large, predominantly black crowd here tonight from Aza, so I don't want you to turn on me.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Security.

[Gina Grad]

Lots of black people suffering from vitiligo. I see.

[Brian Bishop]

But George Washington Carver spent his life in a lab working with peanuts. Never invented peanut butter. Holy. Again, probably not the time to bring it up, Brown sugar. Yeah, but I. You know, he's a hero to you. Yeah, he is a hero. He spent his life in a lab crushing peanuts. Yes, he did. Never spread it on a piece of bread. Not saying it in any way diminishes his worker's legacy. That's because the white man had his hands open. Now, I don't know what the that means. I don't. I don't know. I don't now speak the Ebonics. But what I'm saying is, how are you gonna spread. How do you spread peanut butter without a knife in your hand? When your hands are spread wide, the open.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Brian Bishop]

Exactly. Okay. Exactly. Yeah. Black History Month. Now, listen. Talk to my hand. Came with like 157 uses for peanuts. None of them was the number one use. Peanut butter. So he didn't make butter. And I'm just saying, goddamn record with it. Yeah, it was a hole in his game. Like Shaq from the free throw line. You know what I mean? He had a lot of. He's a gamer. Yeah. I mean, he's, you know, obviously should be remembered fondly, but not as fondly. He didn't invent peanut butter. He did everything else with peanuts.

[Gina Grad]

Just.

[Brian Bishop]

He missed the butter part, that's all. And I had to be weird every time, you know, lunch came around when he went upstairs for a sandwich. You know what I mean? Pimento loaf again. Okay. All right.

[Adam Carolla]

More ham.

[Brian Bishop]

All right, I got to hurry up. I get down there and mash more peanuts. At some point, he's probably making a sandwich in the lab, and, like, a piece of bread fell into the. In the mortar pestle with the peanuts. I gotta throw this out.

[Gina Grad]

This batch of mortar is ruined.

[Brian Bishop]

What is insane. They didn't come up with peanut butter. He was mashing peanuts. He forgot butter. Okay, I'm sorry. Listen, I. It's Black History Month. I don't know how you celebrate. He made oil, God damn it. Oh, yeah, I know. He made, like, axle grease and shit, so that's good enough. Black people don't have butter. Okay, we got. We got margarine. You do margarine. You're Mazola people. We made Peter margarine. That's just as good. All right, listen, listen, brown sugar, I didn't mean to attack your people. Yeah, well, God damn it, you always attack. No, I'm just saying it's. You know, it's probably not the right one to bring this up, so.

[Gina Grad]

Closest thing we have to a black guy in the audience, this white guy with the Randy Moss jersey. The best we can do, people.

[Brian Bishop]

He's gonna run over a policewoman on the way home.

[Gina Grad]

Too soon.

[Brian Bishop]

Okay. All right, Gina, what do we got?

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Well, marijuana is now legal for adults in Alaska. Yeah, Alaska is now the third US State to end prohibition of marijuana.

[Brian Bishop]

Is it? Well, first off, how do you grow? I guess it's all hydroponic or whatever. Nothing's gonna grow in Alaska on a glacier. Sarah Palin's probably standing on her porch and disapproving right now, shaking her head is, yeah, I'm looking at Russia. I'm looking at weed grown in Alaska. This sucks, by the way, if you live in Alaska, you. As you. If you agree to raise a family in Alaska, as you enter the state. You should get a hay bale of weed.

[Gina Grad]

Right?

[Brian Bishop]

Like, they should go, come on down. Here's your weed and your honorary bong shaped like Alaska. Like, thank you for coming here and paying taxes. This is one of the places, like, where you should be able to. First off, you must really love weed. They got much bigger fish to fry in Alaska than. There's an 80% chance you're going to die on a crab boat. Let the guy smoke some weed. No, statistically, it's true. It's. You know my. You know my fantasy, my Alaskan fantasy is I put on a yellow ATF windbreaker and a big fake mustache and I walk into any bar in Alaska and go, I'm a federal agent and I'm looking for. And just watch everyone dive through the window. Like, jukebox goes zoop. You know what I mean? Every. Everyone just does a shoulder roll out the window. Bar, the guy behind the bar. Gossip. I just drink for free. All you need is a fucking yellow windbreaker with some electrician's tape that says ATF on it. You'll rule Alaska. You could walk into a Costco and go, federal agent.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

And every employee and everybody just, oh, scatter like cockroaches.

[Brian Bishop]

Yep, you just go full Omega man. You drive a brand new Mustang right out of the dealership. You just. Federal agent. Oh, everyone's diving out of the front door. He's just getting a new 2015 Mustang. Just drive right into a snowbank.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

So you think the only reason people live in Alaska is to live off the grid? No Social Security number, the whole vibe.

[Brian Bishop]

They aren't running from their past, they're sprinting from it. It's a shoulder roll and a full fucking I'm on fire sprint from my past there. You don't just move to Alaska. You flee there. Nevada and Alaska are the two fleeing states. You go there trying to get a fresh start. You know what I mean? Fresh start doesn't mean I ran a super successful Fortune 500 company in my previous state. Now I'm trying to get a fresh start. It's, you know, vehicular manslaughter is kind of a tricky thing. Yeah, it doesn't. I wouldn't. I wouldn't call myself a murderer. Obviously, there's a couple of corpses, but it's not. Not. Don't look at myself as a murderer. My third wife would probably beg to differ. Anyway, a couple of teenage sons, one of them the younger one speaking to me. Anyway, where's the fishing boat? I'm really good with My hands. Girls really good with her hands. Yeah. I can fix equipment, right. Something's broken, right? I can fix that shit. Yeah. Yeah. I fix heavy equipment in Alaska. Yeah, that's. You go. You go there. So he repaints some old lady's barn red. Yeah. I did this for you, so I'm just gonna sleep in here for a while. Such a good kid. Yeah, there's still. There's a lot of stuff. He. Animals. There's a lot of bartering. I would reckon that. That Alaska is like the number one barter state. Barter economy. Yeah, there's a. Yeah. I'll paint your barn if you let me. Your daughter, like, whatever. Oh, go ahead. Whatever. Yeah, whatever it is. Use quality paint. Fix the tractor right. Fuck your daughter. She's a virgin, for God's sakes. We're gonna find out.

[Gina Grad]

I'll tend to your field if I can take Stacy Oakley to the prom.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, for example. Yes. Yes. That's exactly it. So good. Let them smoke their pot. Let everybody smoke their pot. And let's get on to real fucking problems. Could we already. The gays get married, the Heschers smoke your weed. And then let's focus on, I don't know, families falling apart and bridges and roads falling apart. Can we. Can we do that? Like, can we just fucking focus on something that makes a difference? Somebody in Anchorage wants to fucking cop a buzz off of some weed. I don't give a fuck. I want to. I want to know why Los Angeles doesn't have schools that are usable. That's me. I'm old. I'm old fashioned that way. I'm wildly.

[Gina Grad]

Okay, pops.

[Brian Bishop]

I'm wildly impulsive that way. You want to potholes every 10ft in Beverly Hills. Yes. Yes. All right, let's do one more.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Well, I'm glad you feel that way about weed, because a study just came out saying that marijuana is roughly 114 times less deadly than alcohol, according to the Journal of Scientific Reports. And by the way, of the seven drugs included in this study. And alcohol was by far the deadliest at an individual level, followed by heroin, cocaine, tobacco, ecstasy, meth, and weed.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, but, you know, weed never got anyone laid. That's true.

[Gina Grad]

I'll bet some weed dealers would disagree.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, yeah, Talk about barter, you know?

[Gina Grad]

You mean the consumers.

[Brian Bishop]

Some dude from Pineapple Express blowing you is not exactly what I had in mind. I mean, what I'm saying about booze is. Let's give the devil his due here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's gotten a lot of Us late, you know what I mean? I mean it's a two way street. Stacy over here I'm sure has done a few things she's not too proud of. Not because of weed. You must thank Mr. Bartles and Mr. James for that evening. That's all I'm saying. You know, I mean, mean, there's been a lot of stuff that's done. You know the thing about the thing again that you. The reason you have to praise booze is it gets people to do shit they wouldn't normally or don't want to do or don't condone doing. And you know, there's a downside to that.

[Gina Grad]

Oh really?

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, I mean, I guess if I use my imagination you can see how.

[Gina Grad]

Those powers have been used for evil.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

Driving a school bus with special needs kids when you're blowing a 0.07 or something like that.

[Gina Grad]

But in those rare circumstances.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Aside from those. Right, right, right. But I mean when you watch. Joe, I was just watching you on the epic fails show on Fox with Terry Crews hosting. Yeah. Great job by the way. Thank you. There would not be any epic fail videos if there was not booze. No, there's nobody fucking rips a bong load and then goes. I'm going to get that on that mechanic's creeper and put a bottle rocket up my ass. You guys hold the camera. I'm going to see if I can beat the train over the tracks. That on weed is a non starter booze. It's a fucking great idea. Brilliant.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

On weed they would talk about it, pontificate about it and then sit back down.

[Brian Bishop]

Right. But there's no way I think I can stand up on my kids yz80 in my flip flops in this backyard that's super confined with the above ground pool. All the humor that comes from the above ground pool. I'm doing the. I'm jumping off the roof. This is all booze fuel.

[Gina Grad]

So we should be thanking alcohol.

[Brian Bishop]

I think we should put our hands together for booze. You guys would not think Joe Coy was funny or Gina was attractive without. Well, no, I'm making a point. I'm make. No, you know what the spirit of this is? I don't mean to hurt, but the reason you're you wouldn't have been born because of a little something called bo. So thank you very much. All right, let's bring it home.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

You got it. I'm Gina Grad and that's the news.

[Matt Fondelier]

That was the news on the Adam.

[Brian Bishop]

Corolla show you're cool, right? Like, don't go home and throw up or anything.

[Gary Smith]

I'll.

[Brian Bishop]

I'll be okay.

[Gina Grad]

Unless it's from. Unless it's from too much alcohol.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. Have a couple Jaeger shots then. Then hit.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Yeah, my first shot. I'll do that tonight.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. All right.

[Adam Carolla]

There was adam Ka Show 1519. Coming up next, we have Adam Ka Show 1024, featuring Elliot Gould, Allison Rosen, and Brian Bishop. This is a live show from all the way back in 2013. Hope you guys enjoy.

[Brian Bishop]

You know, women, you guys never bring up that part. You know, it's a lot of complaints about. Well, we get 70 cents to your dollar, and we're held back, and we got hormonal issues and, you know. But what about the part where we die almost a decade before you? Do anyone ever want to bring that up? That. That's a perk. That's a perk to have an ovaries, is it not? The extra 10 years you get to spend on the fucking planet spending our money. Not bad, right?

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah, pretty good. All the breaks.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. I'm just saying it rarely comes up. You get a break on your insurance and you live an extra seven, seven, eight years or something. It's not bad. I have a theory about that, which is that's a little insulting, but that's.

[Allison Rosen]

Never stopped you before.

[Gina Grad]

Well, just a little.

[Brian Bishop]

I'm up on stage burning calories, and my wife right now is at home.

[Allison Rosen]

Like, in suspended animation.

[Brian Bishop]

I'll be in Denver over the weekend burning some calories. My wife's kind of hanging with the kids.

[Allison Rosen]

Like, you have a certain amount of life force and you're just whipping through yours faster.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, yeah. Stress, you know what I mean? Too much travel, too many. Too many early mornings, too many early call times for the great Elliot Gould. This is excellent for the people that are just listening in their cars right now. They don't even believe me. I could have just said we had Willie Nelson up here, and they'd be like, yeah, that's cool. Yeah. So I think you burn yourself out. I think guys. I think. I think they burn themselves out. I don't know. I don't know. There's a biological thing, I think, guys. And then you end up doing things like smoking and drinking and stuff like that.

[Allison Rosen]

We just need to find some really lazy, sedentary guys and find out how long they live.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, we got him. My dad.

[Allison Rosen]

How's he doing?

[Brian Bishop]

He's. He's 81 and he's still going strong. Yeah, No, I Explained to my dad in his kind of terms, as I. As I could the other day, that he was like a, you know, a kind of a crappy car, but with almost no mileage on it. You know what I mean? Like, if you took a Chevy Chevette and just put it up on blocks in your garage in 1973, it's still a piece of shit, but it's brand new.

[Allison Rosen]

It's pristine.

[Brian Bishop]

He still has that new human smell. Yeah, he's not a good model, you know, he's not a. He's not a Ferrari or a Corvette. He's a shitty model that's almost brand new because he's never been driven, like, in the. In the snow.

[Gina Grad]

How do you take that news?

[Brian Bishop]

You know, I told him he was. I sort of told me it was just low mileage, like, lot. Not a lot of days on the roof, working out in the sun. Not a lot of super stressful business meetings. Not a lot of burning the midnight oil, you know? He's kind of.

[Allison Rosen]

He's like veal.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what he's like? He's like slippers. You put them on, but you don't go jogging in them. You don't wear them outside. You don't run in them. They never see the rain. They're still shoes. You can get some mileage on them. Just not tough miles, you know, you're not. Not running on. You're not. No trail mileage on slippers. That's all carpeted miles, right? My dad's been on nothing but carpeting his whole life. Oh, wait, we got pictures. Oh, there's my dad. There he is. Yeah. Plays his trumpet, walks around in slippers. Elliot, what do you think of this? How do you feel? How's your health? Talking to the mic?

[Elliot Gould]

My health is fine, thank you.

[Brian Bishop]

You good?

[Elliot Gould]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

You good?

[Elliot Gould]

The water was not open, so nothing spilled.

[Brian Bishop]

Yes, I know. Would you like some water?

[Elliot Gould]

No, thank you.

[Brian Bishop]

Would you like some Mangria?

[Elliot Gould]

I'll try it.

[Brian Bishop]

You'll try Mangria? That's scary. We got to get him out of a shell. By the way, do you think I'm in a shell? Yeah.

[Elliot Gould]

You're wrong.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, really?

[Elliot Gould]

I'm out of the shell.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, you're out. Oh, this is you out. It's me. Yeah. Wow. I've seen you be so dynamic.

[Elliot Gould]

I'm an actor.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, that's it. That's. But what. What now? That's a good point. Here, Mr. Gould. There. Use your hand there and taste some of my signature Mangria. This, this is going to get you into a shell.

[Elliot Gould]

No, no, there's no shells for this.

[Brian Bishop]

Let's talk about this acting for a moment.

[Elliot Gould]

You want to talk some more?

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. Even a little more than this? Yeah. Did you watch the Oscars?

[Elliot Gould]

Yes.

[Brian Bishop]

And I noticed that a lot of the actors just didn't seem to want to go to rehearsal.

[Elliot Gould]

I don't know about rehearsal. Oh, you mean when they were dancing?

[Brian Bishop]

No, when Not. Well, when they were dancing a little bit. But when they do the Oscars they go, hey, could you come out on Thursday and do like a rehearsal where you read the teleprompter and do that and all the answer. All the actors just go.

[Gina Grad]

The presenters.

[Elliot Gould]

Yeah, I don't know that that's true. I've done the awards several times.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, let's talk about that.

[Elliot Gould]

We just did.

[Brian Bishop]

Okay, that's over.

[Allison Rosen]

Let's talk about it again. When you talk about it again.

[Brian Bishop]

When you were asked to present at the Academy Awards, did they ask you to come for a run through?

[Elliot Gould]

Of course.

[Brian Bishop]

Okay. Did you show up?

[Elliot Gould]

Yes, I did.

[Brian Bishop]

That's you. That's what I'm saying.

[Elliot Gould]

I would say most, if not everyone shows up. Do you know something that I don't know?

[Brian Bishop]

I don't think the guys from the X Men showed up.

[Allison Rosen]

Avengers?

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. And I think they people. Some of the people show up and they read that teleprompter and they stumble through it. And clearly there was not a rehearsal process with them. And I think when you say to Jennifer Lopez, we need you here on Wednesday to rehearse, she goes, her publicist says, I can't be there until Sunday afternoon. I'm in New York. Sorry. It's either this way or no way. What do you think of that? You showed up and rehearsed.

[Elliot Gould]

You. You, you went from the four guys from the Avengers, right. To Jennifer Lopez. I don't think it was fair to Jennifer Lopez. And as far as the four guys from the Avengers, who gives a shit?

[Brian Bishop]

I don't.

[Allison Rosen]

The main is working.

[Brian Bishop]

I. The viewers do. I'm a viewer and I give a shit because I don't want to see them fumble and stumble through their presentation.

[Elliot Gould]

You do.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, you're probably right. It's more fun. But the point is it's okay. So what was the schedule? Unless there's anyone else in this room that's presented at the Oscars. Just three. Okay, so. But I got Elliot on stage, so I'm going to talk to him. What is the schedule then for presenting at the Oscars how did it work the last time you did it?

[Elliot Gould]

Well, that was some time ago, but, you know, we have to come in before the day of the show.

[Brian Bishop]

Right.

[Elliot Gould]

Work with the director, work with the cameras, work with. With the stage managers so as we would have an idea of what was going on.

[Brian Bishop]

And do you remember who you were out there with or what you presented last time you did it?

[Elliot Gould]

Well, yeah, I was with Isabella, Johnny, and we presented the best editing to Verna Fields, who did Jaws.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, he did Jaws.

[Elliot Gould]

She did Jaws. And when at that point, the NCAA a. A championship game was on at the same time as the Academy Awards, and I heard the score and it was Indiana 86 in Michigan 68. And so when they said, the winner is, I announce the score. And they haven't had me back since.

[Brian Bishop]

So that was not in the rehearsal, obviously.

[Elliot Gould]

I think that's fine now.

[Brian Bishop]

Do you wear. Would you. How many Oscars have you attended in general? Perhaps four. Four?

[Elliot Gould]

Perhaps four? Yes.

[Brian Bishop]

Could be as many as five and as little as three. Four seems. Four is good.

[Elliot Gould]

Four seems right.

[Brian Bishop]

And biggest star who's not with us anymore that you met or hung out.

[Elliot Gould]

With sat me next to John Wayne.

[Brian Bishop]

I don't know that name. And my last name is Wayne. Okay. How's it feel? Douche. How was the. How was the Duke? What was he like?

[Elliot Gould]

Very nice.

[Brian Bishop]

Really? And this was how. How long then after that, did he. Did he pass away?

[Elliot Gould]

I don't know. I don't count.

[Brian Bishop]

Stupid question. You wouldn't know that. No one would have that just at their fingertips.

[Allison Rosen]

I met him when I was three.

[Brian Bishop]

Really?

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah. Because he lived in Newport beach or had spent time.

[Brian Bishop]

Howdy, little Jew.

[Allison Rosen]

The story I heard was something like that, but it was. Little girl. Maybe it was cleaned up. Yeah. So I was in this men's store at ease, and my parents were there too, but like, I was over here and they were over here. And then he came up and was like, oh, you're a cute little girl in the John Wayne voice, you know, and was talking to me. And then my dad was like, oh, my God, you know, totally starstruck, and came over and like, you know, I'm the father of that cute little girl. I think John Wayne cared not at all about my dad.

[Brian Bishop]

He was one of the first guys that everyone figured out they could do an impression. Impression of.

[Allison Rosen]

Yes.

[Brian Bishop]

And thus everyone did John Wayne, even people who couldn't do impressions, walk in before.

[Allison Rosen]

Walking.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. And then there was. I. I'm going to work out the order. One of These days of. Jimmy Cagney was probably number one of the guys that people did impressions of, or maybe they did of Caesar, but there's no recorded evidence of that. You know what I'm saying?

[Elliot Gould]

Oh, no. When you said Caesar, I thought were talking about Edward G. Robinson.

[Brian Bishop]

Did he play Caesar?

[Elliot Gould]

Little Caesar?

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, yeah. In. Yeah. All right. Was he in white? Yeah. So Edward G. Robinson, Jimmy Cagney. Then there was. Well, maybe WC Fields. I'm gonna work this out. Might take a decade or so. Who's the number?

[Gina Grad]

Jimmy Stewart.

[Brian Bishop]

Jimmy Stewart. Who's the number one female that you know? And then Ron Reagan and guys like that. But who? Who do you think? The number one female. Mae West. That's a good one. This guy's. Please tell me you know who Mae west is. Do you know Mae west is. I've heard it. All right. Just know. I don't know Randy West. You know Randy west at all? Okay, sorry. Yeah. All right. Mae West. Yeah. Ellie. Cool.

[Elliot Gould]

Bette Davis.

[Brian Bishop]

Bette Davis, yeah. Who? Katharine Hepper. All right, this is boring now. I brought it up and I'm bored with it. All right. Should we do one more question? Maybe get some news and things like that? And by the way, the movie. Just tell us a little about this movie. I'm jumping around a lot.

[Elliot Gould]

But don't you know anything about it?

[Brian Bishop]

It's in theaters. I know and direct TV cinema. March 22.

[Elliot Gould]

That's all I have.

[Brian Bishop]

My gut is that it's about a young woman uprooted from the San Fernando Valley into the whirlwind of downtown la. I mean, but that's just my gut.

[Elliot Gould]

I think you'll love it.

[Brian Bishop]

I have a feeling about Sarah.

[Elliot Gould]

Sarah Rue is. Is the girl. She plays my daughter, and she's quite wonderful.

[Brian Bishop]

She's a talented. Is she thin now?

[Elliot Gould]

She just had a baby, so I don't know what she looks like.

[Brian Bishop]

Huh. I feel like the chicks that have the baby and then snap back in the shape is no big deal anymore because everyone seems to be doing it. You know what I'm saying?

[Allison Rosen]

How do they do it?

[Brian Bishop]

I don't know, but they just do it, and it's no big whoop anymore. And Sarah Rue was from a TV.

[Elliot Gould]

Show that was called Dancing with the Stars.

[Brian Bishop]

Dancing with the Stars. No.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, that was Adam K Show 1024. Come up next, we have Adam K Show 1042, featuring Dave Damaschek, Jay Moore, Sonny Carolla, Lynette Carolla, Allison Rosen and Brian Bishop. This one's from March of 2013. Hope you guys enjoy.

[Brian Bishop]

Tell me what you guys would do. I'm. I come over here on Friday. I have some cash on me, and I'm sitting on this front table, and I'm sorting it out. I'm sort of putting. Getting little piles of $20 bills and $5 bills.

[Allison Rosen]

Like Scrooge McDuck.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, like Scrooge McDuck, just like that. And I'm laying it all out on the table, and I have an envelope, one of those banker's envelopes, about the size of a bill, just a little bit bigger, slides in. There's probably between 400 and 800 single $100 bills in this slip. And I'm sitting there, and I'm counting that stuff, and I'm putting it aside, and I'm going to give some money to somebody, and I'm working it out, and I get up and I sort of go out, and I come back. I don't go away. I just go to the back of the shop. I'm walking back and forth in front of the shop, and I've done this many times where there's been cash just sort of sitting out on the table. All of a sudden, I go and I sit down, and I come back into my entryway, and there's a crazy human being that is sitting where I'm sitting at my table. And I've since gathered up the money, some of the money, and put it in my pocket. But there's this crazy guy, and he's got books, and when I say crazy, I mean he's got schizophrenia something. He's Drew's next guest. And I can just tell by his hair and what's going on with him that he's not quite right. He's wearing a shirt that says bipolar on it, you know? Yeah. So he's wearing a bipolar shirt. And he looks a little. Looks a little nutty. So he then comes in and does the show, and he's doing the show, and he's in the middle of doing the show with Drew. And I'm packing my stuff off and pay Gary. And I'm getting my stuff together. Not full tart, Gary, half tart. And I'm doing my thing, and I look around, I go, where's that envelope? And I'm very good with putting things sort of out in front of me. I put my sunglasses, my keys, my cell phone. Like I'm not the guy who carries the envelope. Goes to the back, climbs up the ladder to get my race gear down, sets it down up top, and then Comes back down and goes, where the hell is that thing? I keep stuff sort of in front of me, and I'm not a big dropper of things, so I'm like, where's my envelope with the 300, 400, $800 worth of single $100 bills in it? And I'm looking around, and I'm asking Matt and I'm asking Jeff Fox in the editing bay, and I'm asking everybody. No one's seen it. No one. I'm checking my pockets. Not in my pockets. I go check the car. It's not in the car. I didn't go anywhere. I went to the other warehouse and came back, and it's not around. And I'm looking in the back. I'm looking everywhere. And I realized there was a guy who, you know, bipolar, little bit. Little bit nutty. And he was sitting where I was sitting with the money the whole time. So they're doing a show now. I don't know. I don't want to leave. I'm assuming, I'm trying to be polite, that he gathered up his books and his papers and what he had laid out. Maybe just gathered up my little envelope with it. So I come into the studio while they're in the middle of the show. And not only in the middle of the show, they're in the middle of a call. And not only in the middle of a call, Some woman is. Seems to have some problem with depression and addiction or something. And I do the, like, I gotta put, hand up thing. And they're, like, both looking at me like we're talking to somebody on the air. And I kind of do it off. And. Drew, give it a second. Hold on. Let's pause. He takes the headphones off. And I said, look, I'm not saying you stole my money, but there was some money that was out on that table, and I can't find it. And you were sitting there, and maybe when you gathered your stuff up, it just got kind of caught up in your book or the stuff you had. And he said, here's my book. Here's my thing. I got nothing. It's not here. Look, look, look. This is all I have. And I said, okay. It's just I don't have it out there anymore. And I didn't really go anywhere. And I just thought maybe by mistake, somehow it got up in your stuff or something.

[Gary Smith]

Did you ask the other half of you? Did you ask him that?

[Brian Bishop]

The other part of the body? Right? So I said. So he said, no, I didn't I didn't see anything. I didn't see anything.

[Allison Rosen]

Was he acting normal?

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, well, he never acts normal, but he was like, I don't have. I don't have anything.

[Gina Grad]

Eyes darting back and forth, you know, Normal, yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

He said, I don't have anything. I'm sorry, I don't have anything. And I said, well, maybe it's in your books or something. He sort of spread it out and said, nah, this is it. That's all I got. You can check my jacket or something. And I said, nah, I don't know, maybe it fell out my car or something. And then the show ended and Dr. Drew did. One of my favorite, favorite things, which makes me want to fucking punch him, is I'm sitting on the sofa. You remember? I said, drew has no emotional IQ whatsoever.

[Allison Rosen]

Thick was the word you used.

[Brian Bishop]

Thick. I'm sitting on the sofa in the same place now, checking the seat cushions, looking at her. It's a. It's maybe $800 of cash that's gone now. And not only is it gone, I didn't lose it at a casino. It didn't fall out of my pocket. I didn't get chased down the street. Somebody it was. I'm in my place where I own this building, and now it's gone. I want to know where this fucking cash is. So Drew comes walking in and he does this. I guess it was right after this or right before, but he comes in with a strapping, good looking guy and he says. Points at him while I'm sitting on the sofa. And he goes, you remember this guy, Sean Green, ex LA Dodger. And I said.

[Allison Rosen]

You'Re laughing because you don't remember. Your thing is not remembering.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, something. And he's standing there above me, smiling. And I said, and he said, you remember this guy says it again real loud. And I go. And then I start yelling at Drew. No, I'm sorry, whoever you are. Sorry. No, I don't remember him. Why are you being a dick? Why are you fucking coming? Sorry. You person. Hold on. This isn't for you. This is for you. Drew, what the fuck are you doing? No, I don't remember him. Now, this is uncomfortable. Are you happy? Are you happy? Because I don't remember. I don't know who this individual is. I have no contact. I saw him last when we did this celebrity softball game in 2001. And he was a Dodger. He was wearing.

[Gary Smith]

First off, he was in a ball.

[Brian Bishop]

Cap and a white uniform. He never seen him out of a Dodger uniform. He played for the Dodgers from like, you know, 98 to 03 or something. I don't know what he looks like in street clothes. It's a guy wearing a clothes.

[Gary Smith]

It's the entire premise of why Clark Kent can live among us. Because he puts on a pair of glasses, he's not in the red and the blue uniform.

[Gina Grad]

Same thing in Drew's mind, is that why you should know him? Because he once played celebrity softball with.

[Brian Bishop]

Him for an afternoon. I don't. He's so. She's so fucked up. I have no fucking idea what years did he play. He remembered me coming out. All. All was immediately rectified and Drew and your name was dropped as well. Shaq. Because he came in and he said 2000 to 2004. So I met him in 2001. It's been a scant 12 years and he was wearing a uniform, and now he's just standing in front of me. I have no fucking idea who this tan, good looking, athletically built guy is. Anyway. You remember this guy, like we hung, like we went deep sea fishing last weekend or something. He's such a fucking asshole.

[Allison Rosen]

At the very least, the assumption I would have would be that he was a guest or something. On Loveliness, I just was looking at.

[Brian Bishop]

Him going, I mean, you can see a picture of the guy. When you see him, it's just like he looks sort of familiar, but he's good looking. He looks like he could be an actor. He's an actor or something. He's an athlete. Would anyone know? I mean, I met him 12 years ago on Paul could pass as Jim.

[Gary Smith]

Caviezel Star played Jesus.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, all was set straight immediately though, he goes, I remember you from you and Kimmel coming out to Vero beach trying out with the Dodgers. And I was like, oh, yeah, yeah, I remember that. And he goes, tommy thought you could have been, could have made it to the show.

[Gary Smith]

Bring this up again.

[Brian Bishop]

I said, Sheck goes nuts every time I say that. I said, listen, I know I have a sports guy at the time. Sheck would go insane every time he heard this. Because God forbid a compliment be tossed my way.

[Gary Smith]

I'm happy for you to be complimented. But the delusion being indulged by this daft old man that you would actually. That you actually ran with and thought, like, yeah, maybe I should be playing big league ball is a little bit loco.

[Brian Bishop]

No, he said, if I got hold of you when you were 18 and threw you 100 curveballs a day, I could have got you to the show. That's all he's time to disorder. Maybe he knows something about baseball. I don't know. Just ask Tommy. So immediately brought that up. So all was right with the world. So then he did the guest, and then the bipolar guy did the guest and then everyone left. And then I said, drew, I think your bipolar guy may have taken some money from me and Drew. Because the world's dumbest doctor said, well, I don't. Maybe Shawn Green grabbed it somehow. And I said, no, no. Well, first off, I don't know why you're throwing Shawn Green under the bus.

[Gary Smith]

He's. Because he's an anti Semite.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, that's right. I was sitting. I was sitting the whole time talking to Sean Green. Sean was towering over me while I was trying to fucking figure out who he was and yelling at Drew in front of Shawn Green, which I don't care about. He deserves to be humiliated. Not that he can. It's possible for him to be humiliated, but he stood.

[Gina Grad]

He's a multi millionaire. He took your 400 bucks.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, he is. No, he's literally, how do you think.

[Allison Rosen]

He has so much money?

[Gina Grad]

Oh, good point.

[Brian Bishop]

He's driving the Tesla S. Anyone who's driving Tesla s has put 80 grand down, got on a waiting list two years ago and received. They're doing just fine for themselves, and he's the nicest guy in the world. And I stood up and walked him out. He never sat down. He never spread his stuff out. So I do that thing with Drew where I go, no, not Shawn Green. His thing is not Shawn Green stole anything, but maybe Shawn Green set his stuff out and gathered it up by mistake. I said, no. Sean stood the whole time I sat and then I walked him out and said bye to him. And he said, did that thing where he paused and he goes, maybe got with some of his stuff. You know when they go back to the retarded theory, like, I gotta do one more lap around Retard park before my legs are tired. I said, I got a little more juice left in my quads to go one more lap around Retard Park. And I said, no, Drew, I was sitting here the whole time. So since then, is that an off leash park? Yes. Yes. So since then I said, it's been driving me nuts because I don't really think. I don't think of people as thieves. I really don't. On the other hand, the guy was sitting where I was sitting. There was an envelope with several hundred dollars sitting in it.

[Gary Smith]

And he had a T shirt on that said Bipolar I think that maybe suggests he's unstable.

[Brian Bishop]

Later on, when I was telling, you know, Matt, I had do the. Look through the trash can, see if I got thrown away. Look, look outside, see if somehow. Somehow got swept up and thrown out. Or maybe I took the bills out and threw away. The carcass of the envelope would be laying around if I just. Maybe I used all the bills and I somehow spaced out on it, but there would still be the envelope laying around. Couldn't find the envelope anywhere. So later on I spoke to Gary or tonight when I was walking in and Gary said that this gentleman had been convicted for what? High end art forgery.

[Gary Smith]

No, definitely Sean Green. Let's not take Shawn Green out of the equation gesture.

[Gina Grad]

He's a person of interest.

[Brian Bishop]

He's still a person. Yeah. He's still up on the corkboard with a pin through him with a question mark. All right, so he's no stranger to thievery. At least on a higher end.

[Gina Grad]

This Sean Green stole many home runs from.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. From opposing pitchers. So what, what do we. What are we working out of it? So what do we now? What am I to conclude? There's really nothing to do except for yell more. Drew.

[Allison Rosen]

Drew just did. Did he address whether he thought it was possible this guy could have done it or was he just focused on Sean Green?

[Brian Bishop]

Drew immediately went into sort of. Well, he didn't. He didn't, you know, kind of protection. Well, what he would do. He wanted to avoid whatever was going on. I say Drew owes me $500. He brought a. He brought a fox into my hen house and I'm light some eggs. It's more. See, for me, it's never. It's really the few hundred bucks. Maybe it was 700, 800 bucks. I don't like having that removed from me. I. I don't like the part where I think I'm nuts. Like, what happened? What did I do sitting here.

[Gina Grad]

The money still has not been found.

[Brian Bishop]

No, absolutely not. The envelope with.

[Elliot Gould]

Aha.

[Brian Bishop]

The envelope and the money are gone. They remain gone. And that was days ago.

[Allison Rosen]

Now could be any one of us. Although it couldn't really because we weren't here Friday.

[Brian Bishop]

Fly through my mind. Oh, there were. Yeah. But some of the lower level guys were here post.

[Allison Rosen]

I've never. I've never trusted.

[Gary Smith]

They went into a spectacular feast at the seder table at John Green's home. So you'll be pleased to know that brisket as far as the eye could see and, you know, bitter herbs and unleavened bread.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, yeah. Roasted. Roasted. All right. Manna from heaven, everybody. Now gone. You want to help me make a little that money back? Audible.com, baby. You support our fine sponsors like Audible.com. they support the show. I can make some of that envelope back. They have over 100,000 books to choose from, including not Taco bell material. And 50 years will all be chicks. Hey, those are my books. And they're offering you a free book. You can try them out for free. What do you do? You go to audible.comace. that's audible.comace. you get all the details and, yeah, give me some of that money back. That's audible.com Ace Halftar. Gary, is there any other explanation for where this money went? It's not just the money. It was an envelope. The envelope is gone. There's no empty envelope. There's no envelope in the trash can. The only other person in the building was Sonny. I don't see Santino taking 800 bucks. No, Sonny wasn't here. Sonny wasn't here that day. But he does. Yeah, he was. He's light with the fingers.

[Gary Smith]

He was here.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, Was he here? 100%. And he noticed the money and made a comment about it.

[Gary Smith]

But the other guy. Seriously?

[Brian Bishop]

I didn't really want to bring this up until we were on air, but. Whoa.

[Allison Rosen]

The plot thickens. This makes natalia stick. Stealing 40. Nothing.

[Brian Bishop]

That little raccoon was running around here.

[Sonny Carolla]

It's just a waste of my time.

[Brian Bishop]

Untethered. Oh, he made a comment about the money on the table.

[Gary Smith]

Get him on the phone.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah, I was just thinking that.

[Brian Bishop]

I checked that backpack. This is awesome. He did steal the 40. He stole the 40.

[Allison Rosen]

Oh, so he has a history of.

[Brian Bishop]

Crime as well and did a little counterfeit art stuff in the 80s. Yeah, not a lot. Mostly monetary.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, right. All right, let's see if we can get Sonny on the. What happens then?

[Gary Smith]

What happens if he is. What if he is the culprit?

[Brian Bishop]

I owe two people an apology. I'm one person. It was two people. An apology. Number one, not Shawn Green and the bipolar guy, but just both. The bipolar guy. Yeah. Call Lynette. I gotta talk to it.

[Gary Smith]

It is a great scheme, though. For the record, I might get myself one of them bipolar T shirts just to walk around. And it's always an excuse. Dr. Drew, professionals are never gonna charge you. Crime was that we saw that played out in the Ed Norton picture, right? With Richard Gere.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Gina Grad]

Trial fair.

[Gary Smith]

Is that. Is that what it was called?

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. Better yet, to be a light fingered Six year old and bring in the stooge with the. With the bipolar shirt to sit down where Daddy was counting the do re mi.

[Allison Rosen]

Is this.

[Brian Bishop]

Anyway he slides into the studio and you.

[Gary Smith]

This is interesting.

[Brian Bishop]

We're gonna have to work this out. Oh, Gary.

[Gary Smith]

So what do you have in your brain? Is it too soon to start conjuring what the repercussions will be for young Sonny?

[Brian Bishop]

I'm such a horrible punisher. Plus, if you leave a whole stack of money on the table in front of people who. He's done the toy, you know, he's done the Transformer robot versus the green paper stuff that Daddy brings home math very, very quickly.

[Elliot Gould]

So there's.

[Gary Smith]

But if he can cut out the middleman, he figures. Yeah, namely you.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Gary Smith]

And the Transformers will run free.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, boy. I feel like someone would have found it in the wash by now or something. All right, well, we'll see if we can.

[Allison Rosen]

What were the circumstances of him stealing the 40?

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, it's a 40 ouncer. I'm sorry. That wasn't money. Well, I mean, it cost Daddy $7. Yeah, and I shouldn't have left it on the roof the of the car, but lesson learned. It just. You know, what happens is daddy comes home, empties Daddy's pockets out onto the stand, nightstand, whatever. And there's some change and some bills and some keys and some stuff like that. And every once in a while, it just shows. We found 40 in his backpack. Oh, yeah. So he didn't. He should have laundered it with some Ninjago toys, which is normally his plan. Now we're gonna try to find this out. All right, can we get him on the phone? Gary? No. No answer.

[Allison Rosen]

Dang.

[Gina Grad]

Cut the wires.

[Brian Bishop]

Getaway. Do what I do when I'm on the road, which is call 10,000 times in a row. That's what I'm doing. And then have that conversation where you go, Look, I call in between shows at about 8 o' clock your time to say bye to kids. And I always like this answer. The phone was in the room with us, like, all right, well then now we need a CAT scan because I called 21 times between 8 and 814 your time when I was doing my shows from the east coast and nobody picked up the phone.

[Gary Smith]

He's in a white Bronco making for the Mexican border. Natalia's driving the car. He's sitting in the backseat. He's got a disguise. That does not mean he's guilty.

[Gina Grad]

But you know who this is.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, yeah. NC's driving.

[Gary Smith]

Hey, by the way, real quick, Sean Green, do you still play? Remember what was that seven years ago now? Same name game. You still play? Same name game. How. What were the rules of that? Sean Green, the baseball player. Sean Green spelled completely differently. The New York jets running back. How about that? Same name game.

[Brian Bishop]

Both professional athletes though. But they're two pretty different characters. Look, it's a four.

[Gina Grad]

Let's take it.

[Brian Bishop]

You got a stand up single.

[Gary Smith]

I'm doing better than usual. In that case.

[Brian Bishop]

All right Now, Sonny, in 90 seconds, what's our strategy? I don't think we ask, I think we tell them. You know what I mean?

[Gary Smith]

I feel uncomfortable infringing on your parenting.

[Brian Bishop]

This is a one parent I pay somebody to parent. A small armor of people I employ to parent.

[Gary Smith]

Well, I already have my hands full. Let's let.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah, well, I'm wondering what is the best way to get the answer out.

[Brian Bishop]

Of a. I don't think you asked.

[Gina Grad]

I think you say, we found something. I think you may have taken it.

[Brian Bishop]

Right. I don't know.

[Allison Rosen]

Oh, that's good. Thank you.

[Brian Bishop]

Okay. Freaking hear it. Sonny. Hi, dad.

[Sonny Carolla]

Hi, dad.

[Brian Bishop]

Hi, Sonny. Hey, Sonny. Remember the other day when you came to the shop with Daddy?

[Sonny Carolla]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

And daddy was counting his money on the table?

[Sonny Carolla]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

Daddy's missing some of his money and I know that you took some of that money and daddy needs it back.

[Sonny Carolla]

Okay, I take it.

[Brian Bishop]

Don't lie to Daddy, Sonny.

[Sonny Carolla]

Dad, I'm not.

[Brian Bishop]

Daddy's missing money from the table and Daddy needs it back.

[Sonny Carolla]

Wait, I have a question for you.

[Brian Bishop]

Yes?

[Sonny Carolla]

Know when you put the money in the white thing?

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Sonny Carolla]

Did you look in there.

[Gina Grad]

Spoiled again?

[Brian Bishop]

Did I look into the white envelope?

[Sonny Carolla]

Yes.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. Yeah, I'm missing that, Sonny.

[Sonny Carolla]

Well, did you look on the other page, on the other place where you. The other place where you took all the other money?

[Brian Bishop]

I looked all over and I think maybe by mistake you may have taken it with you. So I need you to find it for me.

[Sonny Carolla]

Okay, I'll try to find him. I don't think I took it.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, wait a minute now you don't think you took it? What the hell was that? Holy shit. Look, it could be worse. It could be in a fire. This has gone horribly wrong. I'm raising a thief. Or Olga is. Oh, yeah, Olga. Oh, I'm gonna have some crossovers.

[Gary Smith]

She's the mastermind. She's the one that needs to be taken to task.

[Brian Bishop]

Listen, when I pay you to raise my son, part of that money goes to teach him between right and wrong. Do you understand? Me? You witch.

[Sonny Carolla]

You're wasting my time now.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, wait, wait. Oh, that was Brian. Oh, sure, if everyone does. Sonny, you there? All right, Sonny, I need you to find that envelope with the money, okay? Now, the good news is there's a reward.

[Sonny Carolla]

About what?

[Brian Bishop]

Shiny, shiny metal money. Shiny, round metal money is what you're gonna get when you give me my little envelope back with the boring, worthless, dirty green paper money. Okay?

[Sonny Carolla]

How much is it?

[Brian Bishop]

How much is the reward?

[Sonny Carolla]

Yeah.

[Gina Grad]

The negotiations have begun.

[Brian Bishop]

I should have put one of those explosive dye packs in there.

[Sonny Carolla]

If I make it a hundred dollars.

[Brian Bishop]

All right, now listen to me. Daddy's angry. I want that money back. Do you understand me?

[Sonny Carolla]

Yes.

[Brian Bishop]

All right, now you go find it. Where is it? Go find it right now.

[Sonny Carolla]

Okay, I'll try to find it.

[Brian Bishop]

Where did you hide it?

[Sonny Carolla]

I didn't hide it, dad.

[Brian Bishop]

Go find it. Go find it. Give it to Mommy. Go find it. Go find that envelope and give it to Mommy. Okay, give it to Mommy. Count it first. Count it, then give it to Mommy.

[Sonny Carolla]

You guys are tearing up.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, listen, Mommy, I think. Tell him to find. Well, tell.

[Sonny Carolla]

What happened?

[Brian Bishop]

Well, there was money. All right? I don't know. In podcast history, I don't know what happened. There was money on the table. I was counting the money on the table.

[Sonny Carolla]

At home?

[Brian Bishop]

No, here at the shop. Sonny had commented on the money on the table. Then Drew brought in an insane person he met on Twitter. That person was sitting where I. After I got up and walked to the back of the shop, I found the insane person sitting where I was sitting. Then the money was missing. I assumed the insane adult had taken it, but I didn't know that your son.

[Sonny Carolla]

That's Olga's son. How dare you.

[Brian Bishop]

Sorry. You and Olga's son could have engaged in such behavior that I did not know. Now, he commented on the money, and he also commented on the envelope.

[Sonny Carolla]

Mm.

[Brian Bishop]

That envelope may be somewhere.

[Gary Smith]

It's a red flag.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Gary Smith]

A white envelope, red flag. Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

Mm.

[Sonny Carolla]

I don't think he took it.

[Allison Rosen]

Well, could he have been a witness? Did he see the insane.

[Brian Bishop]

Don't. Don't ask.

[Sonny Carolla]

He said no, he didn't take it.

[Brian Bishop]

What's he gonna say when he. When we found the 40 on him? He said he was keeping it safe.

[Sonny Carolla]

Yeah, but he tells me the truth.

[Brian Bishop]

No, don't.

[Gary Smith]

He's a criminal mastermind. This lie is nothing to him.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, these Kaiser. So say. Look, tell him to walk you upstairs and to take you to the envelope.

[Sonny Carolla]

All right? Do you want to be on the phone for that?

[Brian Bishop]

Yes. If he takes you to the envelope, he won't be. Hey, stop telling him he didn't take it, though.

[Sonny Carolla]

I'm not saying anything. He's. He's telling. He's telling me what he did. You left it there and what? Unless there. And opened the black transformer. And opened the black transformer toy. You did not take the money. I didn't take the money. He said he didn't take it.

[Brian Bishop]

Adam, go upstairs. Go to where he hides. All right? I'll tell you What. Pump about 1000ccs of sodium pentothal in him. I keep it in my underwear drawer.

[Sonny Carolla]

I'll text Gary back with the answer, but I'll tell.

[Brian Bishop]

All right, Tell him. Tell him to take you to where he put the money.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Okay.

[Brian Bishop]

But don't keep saying you didn't take it, did you? No, no. I won't pretend like he took it. Would you, please? All right. Thank you. Thank you. I wish you weren't a liar.

[Gary Smith]

That was emotionally traumatizing for you. My heart goes out to you, Adam, but I think you handled that beautifully.

[Elliot Gould]

Really?

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. Well, thank you. All right. Mothers. That's what they do.

[Gary Smith]

As a rule. This is weekend. Little Jean Claude Van Damask just started baseball. Four years old. Too young, probably. But he got there and he started crying.

[Brian Bishop]

I want to go home. I want to go home.

[Gary Smith]

I said, that's not an option. You can't go home.

[Brian Bishop]

Right. I want to go home. Mama says I get.

[Gina Grad]

You know that.

[Gary Smith]

You leave the door open. It's not an option to leave. It's not up to you whether you stay or go. Now, same thing.

[Brian Bishop]

Same with the getting on the roller coaster. The Matterhorn. When we went to Disneyland, Sonny broke down and started to do the. I went and Lynette looked into his teary eyes and said, you don't. And I. You have to go. And then it's Mama, Daddy, square down, and the not so okay Corral going on to the Matterhorn. Because I'm like, let's. Let's do it. And they're giving the. Yeah.

[Gina Grad]

In the Meh Corral.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, wait a minute. I gotta get that. Let me try it again. Try it again.

[Gina Grad]

In the Meh Corral with the nuts. Okay.

[Brian Bishop]

My.

[Gary Smith]

I like not so okay.

[Brian Bishop]

I'd get my vote.

[Gina Grad]

Okay.

[Gary Smith]

I'm sorry, buddy, but the okay Corral is a thing. What's the Mac Corral?

[Gina Grad]

That would be a synonym for the not so.

[Brian Bishop]

Who would pick that up?

[Gary Smith]

Nobody would know what you're talking about. You have to hear, like Wait, what did you say? Did you say mad? The not so okay Corral. Now that.

[Gina Grad]

Sorry, I thought meh was a thing.

[Brian Bishop]

Meh. Well, yeah, but it's not connected to. Oh, it's not so okay Corral. Okay.

[Gary Smith]

It's three steps too far for anyone to follow that.

[Brian Bishop]

It really is. Wow. All right. Allison, did you get that check?

[Allison Rosen]

I didn't get it. I'm sorry.

[Brian Bishop]

All right. Oh, for three. And then the 350,000 people.

[Gary Smith]

Shawn Green and Sean Green was better than the Matt Corral.

[Brian Bishop]

We got a 4 and a minus 4. Look out world taking over the comedy world.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, that's adam Crull show 1042, the infamous letter with Sonny so long ago. Come next, we have Adam Kirlish Show 1704, featuring Donnie Deutch, J.L. calvin, Gina Grad, and Brian Bishop. This one's from November of 2015.

[Brian Bishop]

I always say this. I just want to put my idea into your head. That's it. I happen to like this the best because I think it's the most effective way for me to penetrate your ear hymen.

[Gina Grad]

It's more efficient than the grassroots version where you just tap people on the shoulder and tell individually your ideas.

[Brian Bishop]

TV books and things like that. Yes. Flyers on windshields, things like that. Just don't have as high a batting average. It's just the straight, pure lined audio. Good day, Gina Grad. Good day to you, Nan Balbryan.

[Allison Rosen]

You can't.

[Brian Bishop]

Wow. True. Easy now.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Salty language.

[Brian Bishop]

All right. Oh, boy, did I have a fucking odyssey with the smoke detector. First off, as a device that's put in place to save your life, why is there a range from super advanced to just. This was $4, and it's a piece of weird plastic that you just stick on your ceiling for $4. Like, there is a crazy fucking smoke detector range.

[Gina Grad]

There is, but they all do the job ostensibly right. They all beep when there's smoke.

[Brian Bishop]

Here's the problem.

[Gina Grad]

Like, you're not spending the money to save your life more.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. But I'll give you a real good example. So I moved into a house, and sort of, by law, it's like one of those things, you have to yank the toilets and put the low volume ones in, and then you must have a smoke detector in three rooms, something of that nature. So, of course, when you tell the person who's selling the house, hey, here's what you got to do. You get the cheapest fucking toilet and you get the cheapest smoke detector you can. Find a box and slap it up so you can check the box. So I had one going off in what I would call Lynette's room. Lynette has a sort of office Y room thing off of my. Yeah, off of my. I don't call it lady cave because there's some confusion.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, exactly.

[Brian Bishop]

I was hanging out in my gals. Lady cave. Yeah, you were. It was a little musty in there. No shit. You got a crack. Crack a window every once in a while, Trim the hedges. So I was in there, and I was hearing the beep, beep. The low battery beep. So I did the move where it's always unclear how you pop them off their perch, pushing up and twisting. It seems to be there was just out of reach of what you can get.

[Gina Grad]

Are you always terrified you're gonna set it off even more?

[Brian Bishop]

I'm always.

[Gina Grad]

Every time I fiddle with a thing, whether I place a battery or I'll take the top off, I'm always afraid, well, this is gonna set it off for good.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, this one requires no battery. It shall not accept the battery. It's not hardwired. It just has an internal battery that when it's done, it's done. And it's such a marvelous device that it lasted all of nine weeks before it was time to go. So you pull it off. You twist it and pull it off. And underneath it is just a big paper sticker with writing that is so miniature that the guys who do calligraphy on grains of rice would throw their hands up in disgust and go, no, I can't do it.

[Gina Grad]

Not this.

[Brian Bishop]

Like, I literally. I was like, I got my glasses out. There's never been more verbiage onto something the size of a glass coaster you've ever seen in your life. I mean, it's a circle that's literally five inches around. And there's an Encyclopedia Britannica on there. And I'm looking at it.

[Gina Grad]

It's like all it boiled down to was, you're fucked.

[Brian Bishop]

You're fucked.

[Gina Grad]

Buy a new one.

[Brian Bishop]

Where is the battery? And there's a little miniature super unsatisfying switch. It's plastic that does more flexing than it does moving. So you're not sure if you've moved it into the A position or B position. But I moved it. Okay. I think I shut it off. No, no, it's still going. Finally, I just go, does it take a battery? Where's the battery? Well, turns out there's just a sticker on the back of it. And then turn around the front. You always do this one. There's that thing that you push, and then it scares the shit out of you because it tests. It beeps in front of you. So I just go. Eventually, I go, oh, fuck it. And I just go put it in this booze closet off of my room and shut the door. And it's like, it's going to go off. And I take some booze. I'm like, if it's going to go off, it's going to go off. I'll be over here getting drunk. I'll turn the TV on. Three or four nights later, the other one goes off. The other piece of shit in the hallway goes off. I pull it off, and this time I hand it to Lynette and I go, read this thing. I can't. Does this thing take a battery? And it's like, no, it does not take a battery. Okay. Is there any way to stop it from doing the low battery chirp? Well, no, because there's no battery to replace, and there's no switch that switches it off on the back of it. So I then again take it and go put it in the closet next to the other one.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Join your friend.

[Brian Bishop]

I think there is a weird switch. I'm not sure what it does. Didn't seem to do much, but I put it in the closet and drown it out. Bring it in here. Well, so we can take a look at it. That's. I might, but I'm gonna. It's gonna have to be. There's gonna be more than one trip because it's a wheelbarrow fold. Now, I then started hearing it go from the closet, and I just thought, I want this thing to shut. But it doesn't have a place where I can drop in a Phillips head screwdriver and undo it or pull the battery out. It's contained. It's completely contained and sealed. It's a $7 thing that has a battery in it that's supposed to last five years, but this thing has been sitting in a fucking warehouse in Bangkok for fucking four years in 11 months. And then it got delivered to my house.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

And there's no.

[Brian Bishop]

That's what happened. There's no exposed wires, no anything. There's nothing cut. So it's just. It's a shitty. It's. I don't know. Gary will find. I don't know. If you just tweet, if you. If you. If you just Google in the cheapest, you know, cheap, you know, battery.

[Gina Grad]

Gary, Google's. At Google Adam's fire detector.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, it's. It's a smoke detector where the battery can't be changed, but it's not hardwired. That's the one you're going to need to. So I literally put it in the sink and drown it. I'm like, I'm just going to bury it in water. I'll treat it like a bomb or something. I'm going to short circuit it and it just starts.

[Gina Grad]

Have you started Fatal Attraction? That thing's coming back to you.

[Brian Bishop]

It starts chirping again and now it's doing this low volume chirp. But it's still enough to bother me. And at a certain point, because I just get pissed off, I literally just take both of them, open the front door and just chuck them out under the driveway. I just throw them out in the front steps. And it's raining outside. I'm like, let them just sit out there and just chirp. Make their very. They're not doing the low battery chirp at this point. They're doing a disgruntled employee chirp. Like, I don't know about this guy. It's a deep battle. Hey, boss. God damn it. Over here. You'll know it when you turn it around, Gary. It'll. This one's 15.99 and has a self contained lithium ion battery that can't be replaced. Does it have a big hu. Huge paperback on it with a thousand words?

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Yes, it does.

[Brian Bishop]

Yes. Yeah, it's close enough.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

It's like Sanskrit.

[Brian Bishop]

There's nothing mine had. Mine is cheaper than this one, Gary. Lower profile and has more words on it that circumnavigate the entire back of this thing. So you can check that out. But it's going to be more in the $8 range either way. I just go next week.

[Gina Grad]

Lord the jungle.

[Brian Bishop]

Fuck it. It's going outside and I just throw them outside and it's raining.

[Gina Grad]

Could that bother the neighbors?

[Brian Bishop]

It's not doing the full chirp. It's doing. I'm worried. I'm thinking about the neighbors. It's down to this weird sort of. But it's doing this thing that's enough to bother me. But it's not the full blast, low battery, high decibel chirp. So I throw it out and I just throw it outside. I'm like, look, I'm just gonna. I'm just gonna throw it out. I'll throw it out tomorrow morning. It's raining outside. Lynette, Natalia are off at some play. Sonny and I are watching the Seahawks game. And there it is. It'll be sitting by the front. Front door. And of course, at 5:00am this morning, I'm awoken by what is now the full chirp. Oh, it's back now. It's back now. The full chirp. And it was just like. And it's outside, but I can hear it pretty fucking clearly. And so can Lynette.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

I'm no mechanic or electrician, but that sounds haunted. Have you looked into that? Maybe an exorcist?

[Brian Bishop]

I gave it a fucking exorcism. Okay. I said okay. All right. And poor Lynette had no idea what was going on. Like, why are they out on the front porch? I thought you put them in the closet.

[Gina Grad]

5Am is no time to have that discussion.

[Brian Bishop]

No.

[Gina Grad]

Why they're out there.

[Brian Bishop]

No. And it's fucking freezing. And it's 5am and it wakes Lynette up first and then it wakes me up. And then we both get up and we go out and now we're outside and we get the fucking thing and it's now chirping loudly and I'm holding it and I don't know what the fuck to do with this thing anymore. But I have a sink. And that sink is one of the cast iron variety with the ceramic coating on it. Like old school 60s, old timey. Not. Not new Fangly farmer sink. And not stainless steel sink, but the fucking ones that would weigh 200 pounds.

[Gina Grad]

Farmhouse sink.

[Brian Bishop]

I just take one of these things. Yeah, but not the new cool ones.

[Gina Grad]

Okay?

[Brian Bishop]

Iron ones. And I just fucking take it and I fucking stand back and I chuck it as hard as I can inside the sink and it breaks into a million pieces and then does this novelty cartoon and I just fucking pick it up and I fucking chuck it again. Like there was nothing more viscerally satisfying. Like I was yelling fuck you as I threw it and they smashed it and say, I'm sure the house is on fire right now. But I just threw it in there and like it still went. Like the end of old chirp. The end of old chirper. Everything busted open. And I could still see the battery and the little light, like flickering like. Like in a movie when the robot is killed. It's always so fake because it's laying there and it's like, I love you. It's like that's not how it would work. It would just stop working, you know? But this is how this thing was groaning for its life. And then I took the other one and I threw it at it and I just fucking. It didn't do anything the first time. And I picked it up and chucked it again.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

You killed it with its friend.

[Brian Bishop]

Fucking killed both of them. Fucking A detect.

[Gina Grad]

Wrong detector crime.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Well, if you want to go even cheaper than that, why don't you just hang a jiffy pop up and you'll.

[Brian Bishop]

Know when you smell popcorn.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

The house might be on fire.

[Brian Bishop]

I'm just saying, first off, these ones where you can't replace the battery, that's crazy. But they give a chirp that has a low battery, which means throw me away. But I'm not sure how we're supposed to get rid of you when you won't stop your chirping.

[Gina Grad]

Do you replace the face?

[Brian Bishop]

Yes, it is. You replace the entire unit.

[Gina Grad]

That's what I mean. Like the whole thing.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. And probably the mount. Unless you get another one that you're stupid enough to get the exact same model. But I mean, it's basically saying, I'm $7.59, throw me away.

[Gina Grad]

That's so silly, because in the same time it'll take for the battery to die. You could have bought. Got a.

[Brian Bishop]

You could have gotten one that needed a 9 volt.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, 90 cent battery is what I'm saying.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

But then we wouldn't have had this story.

[Gina Grad]

No, I'm not saying. Adam, saying this would be foolish for some people. Yeah, you're right. This ultimately robbed us of this story also.

[Brian Bishop]

It's.

[Gina Grad]

Thank you, cheap homeowner.

[Brian Bishop]

It's sort of. They should kind of be illegal because the hardwired ones are fine and the battery ones are fine. This is going to require either me or Lynette to get off our collective asses and go replace it. See, when it's sitting on the kitchen counter and the backs popped off and somebody says, I got to get a 9 volt next time I go to the supermarket, that's on your radar. This is gone, daddy, gone. And somebody's going to have to think, I got to go buy one. Not I need a battery, but I got to go buy one.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Go to a hardware store.

[Brian Bishop]

Is this.

[Gina Grad]

Is this likely? Okay, you said they had to put it in to sell the house. As a regulation, they have to have this in the low flow toilets. I think this was pulled off of some other property, like. Like one that already existed because a new item should not be doing this nine months in or nine weeks in or whatever it is they both want.

[Brian Bishop]

Both One south. Here's why I'm going to say. No, there's literally, it cannot be more than $7 for this item, number one. So the. The time of removal and replacement is not even worth it, number one. Number two, I suspect this shit sits on a shelf that's also true for a long period of time, and then it comes in anyway. All right, I gotta tell you, baby, if you're running the heat at night and you got some kids. Carbon monoxide. I've had the poisoning before. It's the easiest way to go. It's why everyone used to take themselves out in the garage that way with the garden hose.

[Gina Grad]

How does it happen with the heat?

[Brian Bishop]

Well, ask Venus Garyolitis.

[Gina Grad]

I understand that it happens. I mean, what happens that causes the poison?

[Brian Bishop]

What happens is something goes wrong in the system. I mean, you have a system where there's a fire burning in a sheet metal box that is up against the side of your house or up in your attic or whatever it is. Something goes wrong with the venting somehow, something gets clogged or whatever, whatever, mechanically goes wrong, goes wrong, and this thing starts venting back into the system or in your house because you turn the heat on and because you're asleep, you just go more sleep. You just kind of go Michael Jackson. It's like. It's this sort of thing where it's like if you're walking around at noon and you went like, wow, man, I feel nauseous or lightheaded or what's going on. Like, you'd open a door, like, I get some fresh air, but you're asleep. You just go further to sleep. It's like if somebody had an IV where you didn't even feel the prick of the needle go into you, and they did it in the middle of the night. That's that. That's what happens with carbon monoxide.

[Gina Grad]

So prevent all that.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, 1704. Coming up next, we have Adam Carolla Show 787, featuring Jason Mayhem Miller, Allison Rosen, and Brian Bishop. From all the way back in 2012.

[Brian Bishop]

You want to do our. What do you want to do?

[Allison Rosen]

Megan's Law.

[Brian Bishop]

Megan's Law.

[Gina Grad]

What's that?

[Allison Rosen]

Let's do dying to know how bad my neighborhood is.

[Matt Fondelier]

From Corolla One studios in Glendale, it's the semiannual Megan's Law Awards. Before we begin, it should be noted that this student studio has 11 sex offenders within one mile whose offenses include sexual battery on a medically institutionalized person. Starting off at number seven, Gary can explain with the least sex offenders within one mile with charges including employ or coerce minor for production of obscene matter.

[Brian Bishop]

Wow.

[Matt Fondelier]

Going from a previous predator count of 19 down to 1, the porcelain punisher Matt Fondelier.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah.

[Matt Fondelier]

Congratulations.

[Brian Bishop]

Good job, Matt. That's my old neighborhood. All right, man.

[Matt Fondelier]

Coming in at number six with 11 offenders.

[Brian Bishop]

Matt told me today had some red, white, and blue shoes. You know, listeners have been sending him shoes or since his dad nurse shoe debacle. And he's like, they're Adidas, but I'm not wearing them because they look like clown shoes. And I said clown shoes. A nice step toward the light, away from nursing shoes.

[Allison Rosen]

That's true.

[Brian Bishop]

I think you guys would agree with me on that.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah, it's more fun footwear.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Gina Grad]

Next up, bowling shoes.

[Brian Bishop]

Fondelier, did you. Did you bring the shoes in? No, second time today. I've left them by the. By the door. They're coming in tomorrow, though. I'll wear them, please. All right, sorry. Go ahead.

[Matt Fondelier]

Coming in at number six with 11 offenders within one mile whose charges include kidnapping with intent to commit a specified sex offense.

[Allison Rosen]

I need to know which one.

[Brian Bishop]

Wow.

[Matt Fondelier]

Should have checked the stats before you bought that house, Brian. Oh, bald Brian Bishop.

[Brian Bishop]

Wow.

[Matt Fondelier]

Kidnapping suspicious number five.

[Brian Bishop]

Now, can you guys help me out with this for one second? This is sort of the problem with the society we built, where everything is a 10. Like, you know, there's that thing where you go out your front lawn to take a piss because you've had a few beers and.

[Gina Grad]

Or Bacalon.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you get. You could get, you know, public exposure or whatever. And if you're within two miles of a school, even if it was a Sunday or during the summer break, you could still get labeled as something, something, something. So you would be labeled this, that, and the other, even though we all technically know you don't really pose a danger or harm to anybody around you, right? So I wonder. And this is, this is the problem when everything is rape and everything is an assault, and everything is. Everyone's an offender. Like, I don't know, did this person physically kidnap something? Like, was that his own kid? You know, was that his own kid that he didn't return after child custody thing, and then he cracked open a Playboy in the car and was looking at it while the kid, or did he physically snatch up a stranger's kid?

[Allison Rosen]

And I would like to know, Brian.

[Gary Smith]

Canvas your neighborhood and find there's no degrees anymore.

[Brian Bishop]

That's. That's the thing. This is. This is the problem when everything is rape. That's what I like about arson. Actually, it's still arson. You know what I mean? Like, no one goes arson or arson. Arson. You know, was that barn asking for it was the barn drunk.

[Gina Grad]

You should have seen what the barn was wearing.

[Brian Bishop]

Huh? Huh? All right. Anyway. Sorry.

[Matt Fondelier]

Ranked number five, climbing from nine predators in 2011 to 12 today, with charges including indecent exposure and sodomy with a minor under 18 years of age. It's me, Mike Dawson, everybody.

[Allison Rosen]

Congratulations.

[Matt Fondelier]

We have a tie for number four. First, with 15 predators, including rape by force. He just had a kid and doesn't think this bit is quite as funny as past years. Mike Lynch.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, Lynch. You gotta get out of that neighborhood, into the neighborhood where the guy just molested the chick in the wheelchair. Really, step up. Also, social needs.

[Matt Fondelier]

Also with 15 Predators, including charges of commitment as a mentally disordered sex offender and oral copulation in concert. Associate producer, Broadway Gary Smith.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah, he's got special predators.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, he really does.

[Gina Grad]

There's one right next door, too.

[Brian Bishop]

That's horrible. Oh, is that blue dots?

[Gina Grad]

Where the stars. Where he lived. The blue dots are.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, wow. That's his building.

[Matt Fondelier]

Coming in at number three.

[Allison Rosen]

I'm getting nervous.

[Matt Fondelier]

With six Megan's Law registrants whose charges include sexual penetration with foreign object by force. Producer of Carcast. And this week with Larry Miller, Jeff Fox.

[Brian Bishop]

Wow. Awesome, buddy.

[Allison Rosen]

I declared that I think I might live in the worst area, and I'm closing in on that.

[Brian Bishop]

This is big. And again, when you think it's a good idea to rape a kid with.

[Allison Rosen]

A traffic cone, why do it with one from China?

[Brian Bishop]

Are you ever. Yeah, why not buy American a domestic cone?

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. Are you ever. Right? Like, do you ever understand?

[Allison Rosen]

Hey, have you ever walked in that man or woman's shoes?

[Brian Bishop]

Right? Right.

[Gina Grad]

So, wait, there's two left, is it. It's Allison and Moxa. Loxa.

[Brian Bishop]

Wow. All right. It's gonna be good.

[Matt Fondelier]

At this time, we should mention Ace Broadcasting Cheek, Chief Technical Officer Mike Chaffee, who is unable to join us tonight, is therefore disqualified, which is unfortunate because he would have been the runaway winner. With 69 of offenders covering just about every charge, including sodomy with A minor under 16 years of age and oral copulation by force or fear.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, he's. He lives in Los Angeles. I mean, let's be honest, the city is so fucking horrible. The only thing worse than this is the school that's closest to him. Like, the scariest part about this whole thing is whatever school he'd eventually want to send his kid to LA is a pile of shit. I'd really love to see if we just randomly moved somewhere in Oregon what this would do.

[Allison Rosen]

I know.

[Brian Bishop]

Fucking impossible. Sorry.

[Gina Grad]

To get you off topic, but I just discovered that actually there's a good elementary school near us, like in our school district, one of like the five good schools in la.

[Brian Bishop]

You're not off topic. You're just shitting on my point. I know.

[Gina Grad]

I'm saying there's so few is amazing amazing.

[Brian Bishop]

No, it's few and far between. All right, sorry. Wait, wait, wait, wait.

[Matt Fondelier]

We're down to the final two, both of whom were not eligible when we last checked the statistics. Allison Rosen and Chris Maxalaxa.

[Brian Bishop]

Right.

[Matt Fondelier]

The runner up has 17 sexual offenders living within one mile. And charges include rape by threat of retaliation. The winner's 1 mile map contains predators whose charges are include, annoy or molest a child under 18 years of age and harmful matter depicting minor sent to minor on the Internet.

[Brian Bishop]

Annoy or moles. First off, I'll take annoying.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

And secondly, feel like it's like the tampering with, disabling or destroying. Once you're destroying, you're tampering. Once you're molesting, you're annoying.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah. Really? Right. You molest of me. But in such a congenial way.

[Brian Bishop]

And it's was almost entertaining.

[Allison Rosen]

I can't decide if I want to be the runner up or the winner here. It's nice to win something.

[Matt Fondelier]

With a total of 27, your 2012 Megan's Law winner. And by winner, I mean loser is Chris Max Alexa.

[Brian Bishop]

That's right.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Well, how many did I get?

[Allison Rosen]

At least? Sorry, Chris, I don't mean to steal your thunder here.

[Brian Bishop]

I'll let him enjoy it for just a second.

[Gina Grad]

You had 17?

[Allison Rosen]

Oh, I had 17. Okay.

[Gina Grad]

But Allison fell the farthest because, like, there were none in your neighborhood last time, right?

[Brian Bishop]

Orange County?

[Allison Rosen]

I don't. I doubt it.

[Brian Bishop]

Enjoy walking that dog tonight, Chris. It's gonna be awesome. Yeah, don't trust me.

[Allison Rosen]

I'll tell you a little bit about the I live in, which I liked up until took a drastic turn recently. So in the middle of the night, I heard all this yelling outside my window. And it was like this, like, I'm.

[Brian Bishop]

Gonna you up, man.

[Allison Rosen]

Do it, man. Do it, bro. Now I'm gonna you up, bro. Do it, bro. Do it. It was like frat boys who are gonna each other up. And then there were some girls standing there, and I was like, I don't know what to do. I think they're about to kill each other. And then I was like, should I yell shut up out my window or call the cops or something? And then my boyfriend said, you do Nothing. So I just sat there sleeplessly staring at them.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. Did they ever scrap?

[Allison Rosen]

I don't. I. Some. At some point, I fell back asleep. Although I did hear some kind of bang. And then in the morning, though, it turned out that my neighbor's car, which was parked where they were. I don't know if it was them or not. All four tires slashed. And someone keyed fuck into her hood. Now, I have no idea if that was them or not, except I feel like maybe I should have done something. Maybe I should have called the cops. Maybe it wasn't. Maybe I could have prevented it. But ever since then, I've. Even though no one was physically hurt. Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

Your car, like when you live in an apartment, I've always said this. It's like a piece of you that you leave out on the street. Yeah, but it can't scream out for help.

[Allison Rosen]

No, it can't.

[Brian Bishop]

And I just said.

[Allison Rosen]

I just sat there and watched. Well, I didn't.

[Brian Bishop]

But sort of. I don't know, I've people going and with somebody's car, all four tires, it's just such. It's bad karma. Ooh. And Van man truck as well.

[Allison Rosen]

Really is.

[Brian Bishop]

I. I'm telling you, the guy, our neighbor Ben, who when we lived in our apart, had a brand new Firebird and he had a gay stalker. And that guy come and just break the antenna off and slash all four tires. And the thing about slashing tires, it's such a fucking dirty pool because the tire could be brand new and you just slash the sidewall and you got to throw it away. And he had like the flatbed truck over there every other weekend. It's like, God damn it. Like, what the fuck is wrong with these people? And should we be able to kill them? Like, you just. Here's what you did. You want this guy saw Jaws 3 or Jaws 2, picked out this guy who was in it randomly, decided to stalk him, and just fucking fucked his life up for five years or more.

[Allison Rosen]

Oh, he's like a true stalker at all.

[Brian Bishop]

No, he was a true stalker.

[Allison Rosen]

Wow.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. Not that you guys, you stalk people you do know or dated or in any way, shape or form. I mean, you should be careful, Allison.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

Really.

[Allison Rosen]

I know it's not minimized the kind.

[Brian Bishop]

Of stalking that a lot of our people have. Ex wives, girlfriends, things like that, co workers, things like that. But these are true stalkers.

[Allison Rosen]

Not one of those joke quote unquote stalkers.

[Brian Bishop]

Johnny Stock, lately.

[Matt Fondelier]

Sorry to interrupt, but we do have a little side note on the Megan's Law Awards.

[Brian Bishop]

Yes.

[Matt Fondelier]

We just found one sexual predator who used to live in Gary's neighborhood. I'm going to show you who that is.

[Brian Bishop]

Wow. The principal from Ferris Bueller Times. Yeah.

[Gina Grad]

That's more sad than anything.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. Jeffrey Jones.

[Gina Grad]

Jeffrey Jones.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. Nine times. So are you ever fully cured? If that's your plan. And I love hearing guys who don't want to get in a fight talk about it. Fucking bring it. Fucking, bro.

[Allison Rosen]

I wanted him to bring it.

[Brian Bishop]

Do it. Step up, bro. Yeah, all right. And step up further. Fucking, bro. The fucking. Take you the out, dude. Yeah, with the wrong face. Dick. Just bring it. Step. You step it up. Guys want to fight. They. They fight.

[Allison Rosen]

No, this was just like, I don't know, wearing tank tops and yelling at each other.

[Brian Bishop]

There's no version of this that works in the department. Like, there's no guy going off that. Dude. It's. They'll have sex. I've got a hard time. We'll fucking. Don't make me get my dick out. I'll get my dick out. I'll Fuck me, bro. I'm this close.

[Allison Rosen]

Fuck me, bro.

[Brian Bishop]

I'm this close. I'm this close to fucking. That my pussy, bro.

[Allison Rosen]

Do it, bro me, bro.

[Brian Bishop]

Thank you, Brian. Did you get that? Yeah. Thank you. All right, boy.

[Gary Smith]

Is just.

[Brian Bishop]

When you want to. You. Yeah. When you want to fight, you fight. They usually want to fuck. They don't want to fight. But a guy who doesn't mind scrapping every once in a while. Jason Mayhem Miller. Love this guy. Guy.

[Allison Rosen]

Dude. Bro.

[Brian Bishop]

He's a good guy. All right.

[Adam Carolla]

This is Adam Cole Show 787 with Jason Mayhem Miller, current news girl. My favorite guy on news. Come up next. For a final clip today, we have Adam Cole Show, 12 19. Nick Lowe, Allison Rosen, and Brian Bishop. This is Nick performing live in the studio from back in December of 2013. Hope you guys enjoy.

[Brian Bishop]

What song shall we hear off the new. New album?

[Nick Lowe]

You're gonna play one off the.

[Brian Bishop]

No, I think you. I mean, you brought your guitar, and so I'm asking you. But you can play an old favorite. You can play something off the. Off the album. Whatever you like.

[Nick Lowe]

Well, I like to try and hack my way through one of these tunes. Although, you know, nothing sort of says it's not Christmas more than a bloke.

[Brian Bishop]

With an acoustic guitar. That's true. Especially skinny bloke. Yeah. Right. Which one would you like to hang your way through?

[Nick Lowe]

Well, I'll do one that I wrote.

[Brian Bishop]

Okay. If I'm in tune, I just. I better get it. How does that sound?

[Nick Lowe]

Sound to you?

[Brian Bishop]

Sounds good to me. I'm sleep deprived.

[Nick Lowe]

I'll do this one. It's called Christmas at the Airport. Outside the taxi window on the way to catch my fly I noticed snowflakes.

[Brian Bishop]

Playing.

[Nick Lowe]

In the ever failing light when he dropped me at departures.

[Brian Bishop]

It was.

[Nick Lowe]

Really coming down deep and crisp and even it settled on the ground it looks like Christmas, Christmas and at the airport all the planes are grounded.

[Elliot Gould]

And.

[Nick Lowe]

The fog is rolling in it looks like Christmas Christmas at the airport this year now the doors are locked and bolted Let the festivities begin again. The terminal was seething without much Christmas cheer so I found an empty closet and I settled down in there When I awoke much later I was quite.

[Allison Rosen]

Alone.

[Nick Lowe]

Check in was deserted everyone had gone it looks like Christmas Christmas at.

[Brian Bishop]

The airport.

[Nick Lowe]

I took a set of X rays and they came out pretty.

[Brian Bishop]

Well.

[Nick Lowe]

It looks like Christmas Christmas at the airport this year now I'm doing Santa's sleigh ride on the baggage carousel.

[Brian Bishop]

Do.

[Nick Lowe]

Christmas at the airport I should be at the table with all my kith and kin Bill Looks like Christmas Christmas at the airport this year don't save me any turkey I found a burger in a bin.

[Brian Bishop]

Nick Lowe, everybody. Quality Street's the name of the cd. A seasonal selection for all of the family.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, that's it for his Corolla Classics. Make sure to tune in tomorrow for an all new installment. Until then, mahalo. And get it on.

[Allison Rosen]

Vrbo's Last minute deals make chasing fresh mountain powder incredibly easy.

[Brian Bishop]

With thousands of homes close to the.

[Allison Rosen]

Slopes, you can get epic pow Freshies, first tracks and more. Find last minute deals with the Last.

[Brian Bishop]

Minute filter on the app.

[Allison Rosen]

Book a private vacation rental [e-mail].