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Adam Carolla
Well, this episode, comedian Earthquake is in studio. Also news with Alicia Krause. And we'll do all that right after this. Hey, this is Adam Carolla from the Adam Carolla Show. Prediction markets talk outcomes. Betonline puts odds behind them. For decades, betters have trusted betonline for accurate lines, deep prop markets and real money action across every major sport. Get the latest odds, live props in game betting and expert pricing throughout the season and beyond. And when you're ready for a different kind of thrill, Betonline Casino delivers nonstop action and premium rewards. Don't guess with the crowd, bet with the book. That's been doing it right for years. Bet online. The game starts here. Thanks for tuning into the Adam Carolla Show. You can watch the full show on YouTube just search Adam Carolla show and hit subscribe so you never miss an episode. You can also get the podcast wherever you like to listen. And for extra content, ad free episodes and more, you can head over to our substack and sign up.
Dawson
Today, ABC tonight in comedian Nate Brigetz's new game show.
Adam Carolla
To win, you don't need to know the right answer, just what most Americans think is right.
Dawson
It's not about being the smartest. You just have to be the most average.
Adam Carolla
We asked 100 average Americans, did they keep an empty gas can in their car?
Dawson
No.
Adam Carolla
Have they ever broken a bone? No.
Alicia Krause
I said a lot of no.
Adam Carolla
That's all right. My wife says a lot of no as well.
Dawson
The greatest Average American premieres tonight, 9, 8 Central on ABC and stream next day on Hulu. From Corolla One studios in Glendale, California, this is the Adam Carolla Show. Adam's guest today, comedian Earthquake. Plus the news with Alicia Crouch. And now Adam Carolla.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, get it on. Got to get it on. No choice but to get on a mandate. You get it on. Legendary comedian Earthquake is in studio. Good. Good to see you, my friend.
Earthquake
Good to see you, my brother. My brother. My brother.
Adam Carolla
I was interested when I was reading up on you coming in today that you were in the Air Force for years.
Earthquake
Nine years.
Adam Carolla
Nine years. Yes, nine. Is that an odd number to be in the service?
Earthquake
Well, I mean I wanted to do 20, but the war broke out.
Adam Carolla
So it's mostly you hear four years and then I re up for another four years. But nine's an odd number.
Earthquake
Well, I reed up for another four and then I wanted to get out. Then they had the war broke out and I was since I loaded missiles. They had us on stop loss. That's the very important people certain if A war break out that long contract you got, it's a stop loss that you cannot you essential that you couldn't get out. So they mandatory extended you because your
Adam Carolla
job is loading up munitions.
Earthquake
Yes, I loaded aim 9s, aim 7s on F15, nuclear weapons on B52s.
Adam Carolla
Well, we got to get into that because that's interesting to me.
Earthquake
Yeah, I mean I dropped one time
Adam Carolla
though on the ground. Yeah, I want to hear about that. Well, B52, by the way, B52s have been in use for like 65 years out incredibly old plane that just never. So you were in charge of loading ordinance on those planes?
Earthquake
Yes.
Adam Carolla
Always nuclear or not always conventional.
Earthquake
It all depends on the aircraft.
Adam Carolla
Uh huh.
Earthquake
You know, F15s usually. No, didn't have nuclear. B52s did.
Adam Carolla
Oh sure, yeah. Bombers. Bombers versus fighters. Yeah. You know what's interesting? I think I was working on a production once and we'll circle back to this, but I was looking at one of those rigs that they keep the cameras on with the wheels. And if you picture those in Hollywood, you jack them up with your foot. They come up, you let them out, they come back down again, they maneuver. They're totally precision. Right, right. So I'm a mechanical guy. So I was just sitting on set and I was looking at the camera guy and I said, wow, that's a really intricate rig. That's really interesting. And he goes, guess where they're made. And I just went, germany, hello. Like it's Germany. It's not Mexico, not Jamaica, it's Germany. That's who makes that shit. And he goes. And then he goes, yeah, it's made in Germany. I go, of course it's made in Germany. Then he said, you know what they're originally for?
Earthquake
What?
Adam Carolla
Loading up bombs. If you picture one of those camera dollies with the jig and the thing that scissors up and lifts the thing from the ground all the way back, you go, oh yeah, that's what Germans used to put bombs in airplanes in World War II.
Earthquake
Yeah, we had, there was jammers for us, you know the rack that goes into the belly of the B52.
Adam Carolla
That is incredible. By the way, they're going to operate the B52 through 2050. And they were started in the 50s.
Earthquake
Yeah, it's effective aircraft.
Adam Carolla
And where were you based?
Earthquake
Boxtel Air Force Base. That's in Shreveport, Louisiana. Bossier City. Eglin Air Force Base Base, when I worked on F15s in Okinawa, Japan.
Adam Carolla
Oh, you went to Okinawa?
Earthquake
Yeah, I was there for Two and a half years.
Adam Carolla
How was Okinawa?
Earthquake
It was hard because it wasn't that many women. So you had to compete.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, yeah.
Earthquake
Like 500 men to every one woman. Competition was fierce.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. That's where the. That's where the sense of humor comes in.
Earthquake
Yeah. You get turned up, you can have an unattractive woman and you. Nobody held it against you.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Because of the sheer numbers.
Earthquake
Yes.
Adam Carolla
It'd be like being in a male prison and getting your hands on a woman. No one would hold that against you.
Earthquake
But we used to do, like, Fantasy Island. We used to catch the unattractive women when they first landed on the island, before they found out they was attractive.
Adam Carolla
Where they was at, you're saying when they came in from the States.
Earthquake
Yes.
Adam Carolla
And they were in the service.
Earthquake
Yeah. We used to be the. Me and my friends used to be the welcome committee.
Adam Carolla
Right.
Earthquake
And we get them before, you know,
Adam Carolla
because back in the States, they were a three or a four.
Earthquake
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
But on Okinawa, there were eight and nines. 15. Well, I don't know if it goes higher than 10, but they go high.
Earthquake
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
And at some point, it would dawn on them that that's where what was going on. And you had to get them before they found out.
Earthquake
Yeah, before they got briefed by the other women to let me know what it was. And there's nothing like being turned down by unattractive woman. Constantly.
Adam Carolla
Oh, yeah.
Earthquake
That's where you learn to drink at.
Adam Carolla
I did have a time, I remember once at a bar or club looking at a woman that I sized up as about a five. And I thought, you know, I just need something, a confidence builder. So I just go over there and grace her with my appearance. And I just showed up and I just said, mind if I sit down? And she looked up and she went, why? And I went, oh, man, this is bad. I thought, this is going to be easy. So now that's on the base at Okinawa, right? What about off the base at Okinawa?
Earthquake
Well, it was back in the day, and Japanese women didn't mess with many black men unless she was Michael Jackson, you know, And a lot of brothers dressed up like Mike.
Adam Carolla
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Earthquake
Do they? First of all, you had to overcome the language barrier.
Adam Carolla
Huh?
Earthquake
And then, you know, the color barrier part of it. But the only black person that they knew from the States was Michael. And so some brothers come there, get off base, get the jury curl, bring a little curl down the middle, put the shoes on with the white on the top pack level, and go down there and dance like Michael, in Okinawa, I mean Najo, I forgot the name.
Adam Carolla
Is it beautiful there?
Earthquake
Yes, it is. Yes, it was very beautiful. Great.
Adam Carolla
Allen does. So you're, you're kind of limited to whatever women were on the base. And the numbers were 10 to 1, 500, 500 to 1.
Earthquake
It was fierce.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. And you're a young Vero man.
Earthquake
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
And two and a half years is a long time to be somewhere without a lady friend.
Earthquake
Well, I did.
Adam Carolla
Well, you did, yeah.
Earthquake
I mean for the, the numbers.
Adam Carolla
Because you're in the greeting department.
Earthquake
Well, I catch why their self esteem was down, you know.
Adam Carolla
So how would it work?
Earthquake
You know, it's like the new recruits come in like Tuesday and Fridays and you know what time the plane's coming in because. And you just sit there and she'll come in there, you're like, hey, how you doing? Welcome to Okanaw. I'm gonna show you around. I'm sergeant Stroman. And, and she's not used to a good looking dude like me talking to her like that. And I know I had about 72 hours before I close the deal. If I don't close the 72 hours, she'll get a scouting report and find out she can hold out for a better deal.
Adam Carolla
And how the, how'd the military feel about that if they found out about it was, would you get into trouble?
Earthquake
No, you were getting in no trouble. I mean, you weren't making them, you wasn't making women do anything they wanted to do. It's just, honey, it was no different. Instead, and catching them at the club, the NCO club, you caught them when they first got here. But such police, we had advantage because we went TDY and we was a temporary assignment. We'll go to the Philippines where it was reversed. So many women there, you know what I mean? So we'll go there every three months and you go over there, man, and you get 15 women for a bag of oranges.
Adam Carolla
Really?
Earthquake
Yeah, about $4.
Adam Carolla
Oranges?
Earthquake
Yeah, man. You had to learn the word in Filipino Hindi that mean no, no, no, no, no.
Adam Carolla
Oh, because they would, they would solicit you.
Earthquake
Yeah. As soon as you get off the base and they come in, they'd be like, man, G.I. you want? You're like, oh, no, it was, it
Adam Carolla
was just wide open for sex that way.
Earthquake
Oh, it was beautiful. I had this one chick was over there, she was half black, half Filipino. One of the most beautiful women other than my wife that I have ever seen. And it was like her, you know, of course her father was a soldier that, you know, impregnated her mother. And then he got orders and left.
Adam Carolla
Right.
Earthquake
And I ran into her. She was beautiful, but I had to leave her right there and then. Couldn't take her back to the States.
Adam Carolla
Why not?
Earthquake
No, that ain't me.
Adam Carolla
I had a. I had a. Like, a cousin that was in the military and brought home, like, the Filipino wife, and she started a prostitution ring, like, behind his back.
Earthquake
Oh, that's what they do.
Adam Carolla
Is that what they do?
Earthquake
No, what happens is they get over here, and it was the funniest thing in the world. You know, my wife, friends be like. I said, wait, you just met him, Tom. She does everything my mother does, plus give me some pussy. I was like, okay, well, that's a good way. He only known her for a while, so he'll make her a citizen, he'll marry her, and then he'll bring her back to the States, which we call the world, because United States is called the world world in the military. And soon as she get her citizenship and bring her family over there, she in the NCO club getting the man she really want to be with.
Adam Carolla
Uhhuh. They bring their moms over, right?
Earthquake
Yeah, they bring their family and everything.
Adam Carolla
That's what. That's what this one did.
Earthquake
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
And before you know it.
Earthquake
And then they put them out. Yeah. You have a base housing, and in the military, if you have any problem with your wife, any domestic part of it, what they do is they remove you from the home and allow y' all to go through counseling. And she has the home right then
Adam Carolla
and there, so they know what they're doing.
Earthquake
Yes, it was a racket.
Adam Carolla
So how do you go from this and tell me about the time you dropped the nuke.
Earthquake
Oh, I was. That was in Boxdale, Louisiana. I was trying to go see 2 Live Crew, and they had me doing the rotation of ordnance, and I told him I wasn't working today because Luke was coming in. That's when Luke just came out. Live Crew with all them bad women. And my mind wasn't focused, and I was trying to see Luke, and I thought I put the missiles up the right way, and it didn't. And it pulled a rack away, like you said previously, broken down. And it just popped and hit the ground, and everybody started running. I said, you cannot run a new.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, you might as well run toward it, make it easier.
Earthquake
I mean, might as well sit down and just. And pray to God.
Adam Carolla
How big was the nuke?
Earthquake
Oh, it was a big time. That was a D.62 by the 2 ton bomb.
Adam Carolla
About 2 tons.
Earthquake
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
But they need to arm them. Right.
Earthquake
Nukes are one of the most safest ordinance because they have to drop at a certain height all the mechanisms to go off and everything. Yeah, you just. It just can't fall. Convention bombs.
Adam Carolla
But it like fell and hit the ground.
Earthquake
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
And bounced around.
Earthquake
Bounced one time, 2000.
Adam Carolla
Is it 6 foot long and 2ft of wide or something?
Earthquake
No, it's long. It's. My measurement is not that good, but it's huge. It takes the whole bomb bay. Excuse me. Of the B52. Yeah.
Adam Carolla
It's incredible how much those planes can lift weight wise, is it not?
Earthquake
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
You know, the craziest visual is, is when they take one of those M1 Abrams tanks, or four of them, and they start loading them up into the back of those C130s. And I'm like, you're going to take off with a tank, Multiple tanks in the belly of your airplane, and they just take off?
Earthquake
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
It's kind of nuts.
Earthquake
It's very nuts. And it's nuts. That needed ride, what we call a hop. And you sitting right beside it. What are you.
Adam Carolla
Have you sat behind on the side
Earthquake
when you wanted to go like leave Okinawa and go to the Philippines? You jump on one of the planes that's going over there, taking the tanks and you sign up for it and you hitch a ride.
Adam Carolla
I know it's all physics and I know it works, but sometimes I'm on a southwest flight and there's a fat guy sitting next to me and I'm like, oh, we're in trouble. We're not going to make this. And that guy's 280 pounds. I couldn't imagine standing. Look. Hey, Andrew, look up an M1 Abrams tank. It has to weigh. It's gotta be 15 tons. It's gotta be 20 tons. What do you think?
Earthquake
I don't know. To be honest. I'm still in my mind. That fat dude sitting beside you and you being sleeping.
Adam Carolla
Well, it's visually, I understand logically, but psychologically see, but 55, approximately 55 to 70 kilograms. I don't know what that is. Between 60. Yeah. 16, 70 tons. It's between. Okay. A full size SUV weighs about 6, 6,000 pounds.
Earthquake
Right.
Adam Carolla
And this is tons. So it is like flying with 25 SUV's plus in your whatever. And it just lifts right off the ground.
Earthquake
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
And you sat next to it.
Earthquake
Yeah. Striped down and everything.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Earthquake
But you just thinking about them women you about to see in the Philippines. You know, you stuck on the place there and you ain't got no women and you're on your way to the Philippines, you'll fly on the back of a bird.
Adam Carolla
So you are going. You're in a place with very slim pickings.
Earthquake
Slim.
Adam Carolla
And you're going to a place that's like a golden corral of pussy.
Earthquake
I mean, everywhere, buffet.
Adam Carolla
How long? It's a full flight, by the way.
Earthquake
I forgot. But it wasn't that long.
Adam Carolla
Not that long?
Earthquake
No, it wasn't that long.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Time flies when you got.
Earthquake
Oh, when you're thinking about it.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. And it was affordable because the plane's going anyway.
Earthquake
Right.
Adam Carolla
And you're just deadheading it on there.
Earthquake
Yeah. You just sign up and spank. I forgot the priority based on your rank or whatever. And you, once you like standby, they call your name and you get on there.
Adam Carolla
So how do you get from doing that to doing comedy?
Earthquake
The war broke out, so I, you know, I said, I ain't want to stay in.
Adam Carolla
Sorry. Which war?
Earthquake
The Gulf war? The first one. First golf war?
Adam Carolla
That one.
Earthquake
And I said, I can't stand here. I don't mind practicing for war. But they about to fight for real. And what they was fighting for, I wasn't. I didn't think it was worth it. I wasn't fighting over no oil. I didn't even have a car. So I just said it was time for me to get out. And I just got out and went to Atlanta and opened up my own comedy club.
Adam Carolla
Oh, you opened up your own comedy club?
Earthquake
Yes.
Adam Carolla
Most people just start doing open mics and work their way up into featuring or emceeing or something. They don't just open a comedy club.
Earthquake
Well, you do that when the comedy club that was based in there wouldn't give you opportunity.
Adam Carolla
So what happened? What was the story?
Earthquake
Well, I kept auditioning and was told that this time I actually was going to be going up and opening up for the late Paul Mooney. And so you bet you.
Adam Carolla
You don't have any experience before still in open mics and that kind of stuff?
Earthquake
No, I was. I was still doing comedy around Eglin Air Force Base.
Adam Carolla
Okay, so you were doing some.
Earthquake
Him spotting Tim Wilson and them type of dudes, just doing those type of thing and doing a little hosting on Tops and Blues in the military. And when it time to get out, I said, let me try this out and see what's up. And kept trying to do the comedy clubs there. And the only black club was there was the Comedy act theater. And I was doing coconuts and that type of stuff and telling, you know, women, I'm a comedian. They said, well, you. When you gonna perform at the comedy act? Because if you work at the comedy act in that city, you wasn't.
Adam Carolla
Comedy act.
Earthquake
Comedy act Theater had Robin Harris and everything was legendary. He was the top black comedy club. And the owner told me, okay, you be able to work this weekend and open for Paul Mooning. So I told all the women I was trying to sleep with, you can come see me this weekend. And when I came up there dressed ready to get on the stage, and I said, what time I go on? He said, you're not on this show. You told me it was. No, you're not. I don't let people open for Paul. And. And one of my good friends named Sherman golden said, yeah, you did tell him that. So I called my mother and I was like, this motherfucker ain't even let me open up at the club. And she said, just get your own. Get your own club. Like I told you. People don't let you ride their bikes. You gotta get your own bike. I said, you can't just open your own comedy club, mama. And she said the good question. Why not? I said, well, why not? So I went and found some investors and opened up my club and closed this club down.
Adam Carolla
It closed this club down?
Earthquake
Yes.
Adam Carolla
Wow. And, like, what was your club before you got it? Was it a restaurant club? You built it out?
Earthquake
We built it out from scratch.
Adam Carolla
Just an open space.
Earthquake
Open space, yes. Called it Uptown Comedy Corner.
Adam Carolla
And how many Cedar?
Earthquake
270.
Adam Carolla
That's a decent sized club.
Earthquake
Yeah. Chris Capeta helped me.
Adam Carolla
That's a good size club.
Earthquake
We opened it because he had the punchline in Silver Springs, and he helped us do it with Gary Abdul.
Adam Carolla
So you build the place out?
Earthquake
Yes.
Adam Carolla
You obviously now you can perform there?
Earthquake
Yes.
Adam Carolla
It's kind of funny because I was trying to get into the Groundlings, and they threw me out of the Groundlings after being there for, like five years. And I went and started my own improv troupe and then actually built the theater, the Acme Theater. And I did the same thing. I'm like, I gotta be able to perform at my theater, so they can't throw me out of this. It's basically, it's my ball, so I get to play. Right, right. So you built this place out. I did the same thing with Acme. It's just a square building with a roof and four walls, and we just built it out inside. You just built out the inside, right?
Earthquake
We built it all out.
Adam Carolla
And you were able to get a liquor license and everything?
Earthquake
Yes. Milk, liquor, food, the whole dime.
Adam Carolla
And then started playing there yourself?
Earthquake
Yes.
Adam Carolla
And getting acts to come in.
Earthquake
Well, it was hard getting black Axe, because my partner was white. So they, you know, being in Atlanta during that time, and Atlanta is a real black city, culturally, very. In the black comedy club put out. That ain't his comedy club. He's fronting for the white dude. And and then did the old thing that, you know, as a comedian, if you perform at his club, you ain't going to be able to perform at my club. And they had three. They had two clubs. They had the one in here in la and they had. And all the great comics were coming through there. So I had to perform myself with other open micrs until Steve Harvey came and said, I'll perform in your club. And once he came and performed in my club and drew all the people, they came to see him and they discovered me, and the rest of it was history.
Adam Carolla
So Steve was the name that got them to come to the club, but then they discovered you at the club. And why did Steve Harvey do that?
Earthquake
First of all, Chris depetta was his manager at that time.
Adam Carolla
Was that your partner?
Earthquake
Chris depetta was.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Earthquake
Yes.
Adam Carolla
Right. Yes.
Earthquake
And he was managing Steve at the time. And I had new Steve. When I thought about going into comedy before I got out the military, I. I was like, I went and saw him in Mobile and knocked on his door and asked him about this profession.
Adam Carolla
You saw him perform at Mobile in Alabama?
Earthquake
Yes.
Adam Carolla
And you knocked on his dressing room door?
Earthquake
No, his hotel room.
Adam Carolla
Oh, so you figured out where Steve Harvey was staying?
Earthquake
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
So you went and saw Steve Harvey. Harvey perform.
Earthquake
Right.
Adam Carolla
At a club. Well, why don't you tell us the story?
Earthquake
Well, I went to see him perform, and then the next day I found out where he was standing and knocked on his door. He. And he was standing up place, you know, where you open up the door, you already outside in the parking lot. Right. And I knocked on the door. He came to the door with a knife in his hand.
Adam Carolla
Really?
Earthquake
Yeah. Nobody trying to rob you. I just want to ask you a couple questions. And he let me in and we started talking. He told me all the nuances about being a comedian, and I said, okay, I'm gonna try it.
Adam Carolla
Where was Steve in his career at this point?
Earthquake
I think he was just about. Just starting doing Showtime at the Apollo. He was a headliner. Him and Jay Anthony Brown he was doing white clubs, the punchlines and stuff like that. Yeah, he was.
Adam Carolla
So he was generous with his time.
Earthquake
Yes.
Adam Carolla
Sat down.
Earthquake
Yes.
Adam Carolla
And remembered you later on. Yes, interesting.
Earthquake
Yeah, he remembered me.
Adam Carolla
And so now you got people coming in and they come for Steve, but they see you.
Earthquake
Yes.
Adam Carolla
And that word gets around. Yes. And then now you're getting an audience.
Earthquake
Yes.
Adam Carolla
And then what?
Earthquake
We get audience started bringing in bigger acts. Dave Chappelle, Chris Rock, everything on there. And it just exploded. And then the competition closed their doors and then from that on we was the. We was the thing in the city. Then I opened up another one on the other side of town and then opened up another one in Dallas. Yes.
Adam Carolla
And are they still going today?
Earthquake
No, uptown just closed. My, my partner at the time, he's still in the business. I think he got ATL forgot the name of his club, but he got two in Atlanta now. My ex partner.
Adam Carolla
Is it just a ton of work doing something like that?
Earthquake
Yes, it is. I mean because unless you establish comedy at a certain level and you'll people know that no matter who you put on that stage is going to be entertaining. It's hard because they only going to come unless you have a name person.
Adam Carolla
Right.
Earthquake
And certain comedians have unrealistic expectations what their worth is.
Adam Carolla
Well, who I remember, I'll try to get this right. I remember and I think I got the names right. But I may as many years ago. I remember playing the improv in like Sacramento like this was 15 years ago. And we were just talking with the owner backstage and I said, who's the biggest pain in the ass comedian that's ever come through here? Who are the pain in the asses? Cause what's the rider? My rider was like bottle of red wine and a jar of mixed nuts. And that was about it. But he said, well, I think it was Eddie Griffin who needed a new pair of tennis shoes for each show.
Earthquake
Air Force ones.
Adam Carolla
Tennis shoes, right? Yeah, Air Force ones. So Eddie Griffin, by the way, I would never think of a new pair of tennis shoes for every show. And I don't know if it was. Maybe it was Roseanne. It was a female comedian. It was a big pain in the ass too. And Eddie needed a brand new pair of Air Force ones for each show and a carton of cigarettes.
Earthquake
I think I just knew about the Air Force ones.
Adam Carolla
You just knew about the Air Force ones. But who had the biggest pain in the ass rider for you? And you know about Eddie Griffin by then?
Earthquake
Oh yeah. Because he's my friend and people Says that all the time. But I think he got down to he'll need him every new show.
Adam Carolla
Well, he must have gotten hundreds of pairs of. Yes. Tennis shoes.
Earthquake
I think he donated them after.
Adam Carolla
Oh, okay.
Earthquake
Yeah, I think he donated. I really didn't have my partner dealt with that aspect of it.
Adam Carolla
I was.
Earthquake
He was the business part of that administrative part of the partnership. I deal with the. Come with the comedy. So we really didn't have too much problem with it because the respect the comedians had for me. Honest with you. Okay, that's what I think.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Earthquake
You know, being they're your peers, they're like, we ain't gonna do that to Quake.
Adam Carolla
So you saw them and you saw all these guys on the way up.
Earthquake
Yes, every one of them.
Adam Carolla
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Adam Carolla
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Adam Carolla
was there anyone you were wrong about or anyone you were right about? Like, were you looking at young Chappelle or Chris Rock or guys like that?
Earthquake
I knew Chappelle when I. I personally picked Chappelle up from the airport, which, that usually wasn't my forte of picking up comedians, taking them to press. But when I found out how much money we Was paying them. I was like, I got to see who this mother is. And picked him up and we hung out. And he's from D.C. as well as I. And I'm from D.C. so we clicked on that. And then when he performed, I could me to say, okay, I see why this the. The intelligence of his jokes.
Adam Carolla
So you can go door deals or you can go flat rates with people. You can go, here's the guarantee and then here's the door deal. And a real good deal would be 85, 90% of the door.
Earthquake
True.
Adam Carolla
That's a very good deal. And so he'd have one of those kind of deals.
Earthquake
Yeah, he would have those. Or a high guarantee. And if you pick the wrong person with the high guarantee, it could close your club.
Adam Carolla
Has anybody ever negotiated with you like I did go to one time in my entire career? I didn't make the guarantee just one time. And it was a club in Houston that was in a giant parking lot that looked like the rainforest. The club did. And it was next to the biggest bar in the world. And it was dicey and people were scared to go down there. I think is what it was.
Earthquake
Right.
Adam Carolla
And there's tons of drunk people in the parking lot because it's next to the biggest bar in the world. Anyway, they didn't make the guarantee. And I don't know, the guarantee was 20k and we made 10k, whatever. And the club owner. And I knew it. Cause nobody showed up. And the club owner came out after the shows and he just went, I know we had a deal for 20, but all I made was 10 and I said, let's call it 15. And then that was that. But does that ever happen with your club? Yeah. I mean, what would the policy be?
Earthquake
Policy? You got to get your money.
Adam Carolla
Most people just got to get the money. Give me the guarantee.
Earthquake
But see you. The only time that that'll happen is if you schedule around a sporting events like this. When the Braves.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Earthquake
You know what I mean?
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Earthquake
You know what I mean?
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Earthquake
If you. If they. They around and make it to the playoff in game seven.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Earthquake
Finds on with the usually or a big act coming in. See, that's a good thing about one of your owners, such as me is a comedian. So we have a big like kings of comedy comes then I headline that weekend.
Adam Carolla
If they come to another venue, they
Earthquake
come into another venue within the city, the Omni. And it holds 14,000. And it's your constituents that's going right. There's no reason for you bring up another Headliner that you giving a $20,000 guarantee to.
Adam Carolla
Right. So there's certain things like you make these. You get these dates on the book six months in advance or more. Right. And then at some point, what you don't realize is you're booked in Denver and the Broncos are playing a playoff game that Sunday. Right. You know, and you're like, you couldn't have seen it six months ago.
Earthquake
Right.
Adam Carolla
But now everyone in Denver's going to the game.
Earthquake
True.
Adam Carolla
Or watching it on tv. What they're not doing is going to the club at all. Right. And then there are other times when somebody could be the kings of comedy, could be Tim Allen. It just depends on who your crowd is. Blows into town.
Earthquake
Yes.
Adam Carolla
He's playing the arena, and all your fans are going there.
Earthquake
True.
Adam Carolla
Right. So you have to chart that stuff.
Earthquake
Yeah. You have to chart. And it could cost you your club. If you don't schedule properly because you're
Adam Carolla
on that thin a margin.
Earthquake
That thin a margin. And you don't want to get a reputation, a reputation that you don't pay, then you won't get other acts to come. Right.
Adam Carolla
I was reading that you were doing a sitcom coming up with Bill Burr.
Earthquake
Yes.
Adam Carolla
And your Netflix special's out, by the way. People want to check that out. But the Bill Burr project for Netflix.
Earthquake
Oh, wait, Fox.
Adam Carolla
Fox. Sorry, I looked at the wrong spot. What is that? Tell us about that.
Earthquake
It's a sitcom we developing. We getting script and everything together for Fox and hopefully Pradly. We'll make the schedule this next season coming up. So we. We.
Adam Carolla
Did you shoot the pilot yet?
Earthquake
No, Fox goes straight to series when they do with.
Adam Carolla
Oh, they don't do pilots anymore.
Earthquake
No, they go straight to series.
Adam Carolla
So they basically go, let's look at the script. Let's look at some episode ideas.
Earthquake
Yes.
Adam Carolla
We don't need full scripts, but we need the one where your car gets stolen or whatever that is. And let's look at something like a little sizzle thing or anything.
Earthquake
I don't know the process. I just know the process is that they don't do pilots. They go straight from script to ordering off of it.
Adam Carolla
Well, a pilot costs several million bucks, so it kind of makes sense that they don't.
Earthquake
I try to keep mine lower than, you know, the budget.
Adam Carolla
Well, I mean, if you go, look, we got Earthquake, we got Bill Burr. We like the script.
Earthquake
Yes.
Adam Carolla
We all have an imagination. We can see. Everyone can perform.
Earthquake
Yes.
Adam Carolla
So why do we need to spend a few million bucks creating some version of this?
Earthquake
Right.
Adam Carolla
That we may or may not use or that gets thrown away. Might as well just give them the money and get started.
Earthquake
And plus they making the transition back to when they doing their conception. They're going back to the old Fox.
Adam Carolla
Oh, Foxes.
Earthquake
Yeah. Married With Children, Martin and Living Color. So.
Adam Carolla
So they're going comedy and urban or
Earthquake
just comedy, comedy, comedy.
Adam Carolla
So Fox is getting back into that sitcom game.
Earthquake
Yes.
Adam Carolla
That's good.
Earthquake
Yeah. In a Fox, I mean, you know, with a mandate. It's Fox. We're not cbs, we're not NBC.
Adam Carolla
So there's a little more latitude for a little more age material.
Earthquake
Yes.
Adam Carolla
Fox, what is the, the general concept with you?
Earthquake
Leave LA? Going back to my home in Washington D.C. got tired of being out here, never thought they gonna call me to actually give me an opportunity in LA. So when my house burned down in, in, in LA fictitiously and go back home to D.C. and you know, be back around to my neighbors and people that I grew up with.
Adam Carolla
So it's like a little slice of life. I mean subject, you know.
Earthquake
Yes. You know, I mean went to Hollywood, it didn't work out and just went back home.
Adam Carolla
And how does it work? Is it Bill Burr comes to you or you go to Bill or how's that work out?
Earthquake
Well, me and Bill, I've been a fan of Bill's and great to know that he's a fan of mine. We both had pending deals at Fox and he had a first look deal and I had a development deal. So we just got together and put it and put both our projects together.
Adam Carolla
Development deals are great. Or they used to be.
Earthquake
Yeah, they used to be Ain't no money now.
Adam Carolla
They used to. It was literally the dream of every poor blue collar person who grew up, which is you get paid to stay home. And it was so awesome.
Earthquake
Used to be them fat checks and
Adam Carolla
they would pay a lot of money.
Earthquake
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
And they basically just go, look, we're just going to pay you a bunch of money. Don't go anywhere else. And if you think of anything funny, come to us.
Earthquake
Right.
Adam Carolla
And that was as easy as work got. And those were the old days. Because now it ain't what it was. Nah, they first come deals, things are much leaner, much meaner. But it makes sense. It's all the competition, all the YouTube, all the stuff catching up to everybody. So I get it. And there was some real. And you know, I think there might be. There's definitely a chance for the renaissance of the sitcom. It sort of was the hottest thing around then. It kind of went dormant for a while, but I could see the Fox come back, I think.
Earthquake
So I think we're gonna be the flagship for it to give those, you know, all in the Family. Jefferson's that type, married with children type of comedy and a multi camera.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, all the Family was great. Jeffersons were great. Good times were great. I just, I used to live off those things.
Earthquake
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
You know, I never really. You know, it's funny, as I think back on it, I would watch all in the Family and it was weirdly more foreign to me than Sanford and Son because now, see, we do too much about color. But Sanford and Son took place in la and it was like a junkyard. And I kind of knew that world a little bit and that kind of made sense. Like just being poor and living in LA and buying shit secondhand. I've been to garage sales, thrift stores. Everything for us was secondhand junk. And I identified with Lamont and Redd Fox and all that. And then Archie Bunker was in Queens and I didn't know where that was. And even though it was a white family, I didn't identify. He was like. He lived in Queens, he worked at the docks or something. I didn't know what that was. We didn't have. I was from North Hollywood, so we didn't have docs or anything. And so I tended to just identify more with the black sitcom than I did with the white sitcom. But it was. Whoever was funny kind of won. I mean, everyone I knew would watch. They'd watch Cheers all white. And then they'd watch Good Times all black. They'd watch them both, they liked them, they're funny. I think there's too much talk about demographics. I feel like if it's good, it's good. And everyone. People will watch. You don't have to look like them.
Earthquake
Like my mantra is, I don't have a black show. I got a hit show.
Adam Carolla
So that's.
Earthquake
That's our mentality, you know?
Adam Carolla
Yeah. My thing is I don't have a white show. I have a failure. It's a little different, but it's the same sentiment.
Earthquake
Okay.
Adam Carolla
At least that's how it's expressed to me.
Earthquake
That's fun. Yeah.
Adam Carolla
Well, write it down. And also doing Sirius XM as well, Quake House with. And that's on. Let's see, whose network is that?
Earthquake
That's so serious. We just wrapped up our seven seasons, so.
Adam Carolla
Seven seasons?
Earthquake
Yeah, we looked.
Adam Carolla
Kevin. Is that on Kevin Hart's network?
Earthquake
Yes, but we, we just ended it and we about to Move into a new neighborhood, same house. So we're gonna find another place.
Adam Carolla
What does that mean?
Earthquake
Well, I mean, we just. Our contract working with Serious and Kevin Hart has ended after seven years. And I'm about to find another place for the. For my show to go.
Adam Carolla
Kevin Harv seems like the hardest working man at show business.
Earthquake
Yes.
Adam Carolla
Is that correct?
Earthquake
To me, Is.
Adam Carolla
Is it just go all the time?
Earthquake
I don't know. But he act like he could take it with him.
Adam Carolla
He does, right? Yeah. Well, at a certain point. Point, it's not about money. It's just sort of about potential and living up to it or something. I don't know. Most of the guys I know who are real successful, they have enough money. They never feel like they do, but they do. They got enough. It's more about. Being relevant, being in the game, being part of lots of stuff, being in the mix all the time.
Earthquake
I would not. That's one thing I don't. I don't evaluate other people's motives or reasoning, but me personally, only reason. You see, I'm working. I don't have no money yet.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Like, okay, you take a guy like Siri xm. You take a guy like Howard Stern, yes, he has enough money. Now, it's not up to me to tell people who has enough money, Right? And there's plenty of people who work at Home Depot who think I have enough money. But you would know I don't if you lived in my shoes. So far be it from me to say someone's got enough, but he has enough money. But I think he likes to be involved. He wants to be part of the conversation.
Earthquake
Oh, you talk about how you're. Yeah, yeah.
Adam Carolla
He wants to be in the mix, which I don't blame him for, but you know what I mean? He wants to make news. He wants to be in the game. You know what I'm saying? And when you get out, you're out. You know what I mean? And so I think it feels like a lot of successful people I know, they want to be in the game. They don't. It's. They got enough money or their two jobs will give them enough money. But why they need seven, you know what I mean?
Earthquake
I think Kevin has the aspiration to be a mogul, and that's what he is. And God bless him.
Adam Carolla
No, that's what I'm saying.
Earthquake
Yeah, the mobile. I mean, he's a mogul. He energizes him. It motivates him. And God bless Him and me, I just myself just enough for me to be able to financially take care of the people that I love. And then I'm out.
Adam Carolla
Any earners in the family? In your family?
Earthquake
What you mean by earners? They self sufficient. But.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, but I mean, would it be nice to have a vacation house or something, somewhere? Something. Somebody dies and leaves you something.
Earthquake
No. Well, no, we don't have that. I tell all the time. I tell my wife, I say I make enough money for me, for me it's you I don't make enough money for.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Earthquake
Not that she asks is what I want her to have so that she's the reason why I work. But I make enough money for me.
Adam Carolla
I get it, but wouldn't it be nice to just have somebody in the family who made enough money for them and you and a. In a cottage, in a condo in Hawaii?
Earthquake
I wouldn't even know how to act.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, it'd be confusing, right?
Earthquake
It'd be very confusing. That'd be foreign territory for me and my family. We don't. We independent contractors. On its own, you live, you eat what you kill.
Adam Carolla
I know. I don't have anything either. None of my family does. But I'm. I do hear about stories where somebody died and they had the vacation home in Palm Springs and that him and his sister got it.
Earthquake
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
Or something. Yeah, just something.
Earthquake
No.
Adam Carolla
Do you know what I mean?
Earthquake
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
An old vintage expensive car that your dad had for 50 years and now it's yours.
Earthquake
Nah, you ain't getting something.
Adam Carolla
A warehouse somewhere. Something you could rent out.
Earthquake
Might get some tennis shoes. Some shoes or some pictures, but you ain't getting nothing that you can take to the thrift store. Some memento, you know, that's about it.
Adam Carolla
Does your wife's family have anything?
Earthquake
If they do, she never told me. So.
Adam Carolla
So are you are. Did your parents pass away?
Earthquake
Yes, my parents are gone. Oh, God.
Adam Carolla
Why'd they leave you?
Earthquake
Memories.
Adam Carolla
That's the greatest line from Papa Was a Rolling Stone.
Earthquake
Memories.
Adam Carolla
When he died, all he left us was alone.
Earthquake
By ourselves, but alone.
Adam Carolla
That's the greatest.
Earthquake
I used to always put the song say, he left us alone, like alone.
Adam Carolla
Right.
Earthquake
But then as I got older. It was a loan, right? Yeah. Was alone. Well, he left you something.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Earthquake
You know what I mean?
Adam Carolla
Yeah. He thought it was like a mortgage or something. Yeah.
Earthquake
He left you alone? He loaned you some money. I didn't know it was. Was alone. He left. Oh, damn. Now this song is very sad.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. I got a Tony Bennett CD from my dad. That used to be mine that I gave him. So I just got it back because it was autographed to me. And I couldn't figure out why it was autographed to me, but it's because I gave it to him. And I got a book.
Earthquake
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
From a Dennis Prager friend of mine who wrote the book. So I probably could have got the book.
Earthquake
Right.
Adam Carolla
I got a newspaper clipping.
Earthquake
No.
Adam Carolla
Of yourself now was a. Some. Something that he wrote for the LA Times, like 35 years ago. And he gave me a clipping of that.
Earthquake
And it's gonna make me cry.
Adam Carolla
I got a. I got a bag. I got a Trader Joe's bag. It came in.
Earthquake
You need a hug?
Adam Carolla
Oh, my God. Now my mom did less.
Earthquake
So what'd your mom leave?
Adam Carolla
My mom did not leave her kids anything. But she did leave us a note explaining she was a good mom. But the thing that was crazy about it is it was made out to me and my sister. So it was just one note.
Earthquake
So you ain't getting no individual note?
Adam Carolla
No, it was a form. Form letter.
Earthquake
She gave you a group text.
Adam Carolla
It was like. It was like a letter you get from a politician. You know, you get an email from Kamala Harris, and you're like, oh, come on. And then at the bottom, she wants money. That's basically what I got. We got left, at least.
Earthquake
Was the signature authentic? Was it bad?
Adam Carolla
It was stamped auto pen. Auto pen. I was thinking about the other day. I was walking on pch. I was like, she left. She made a letter. But it was for me and my sister, which is weird, cause we're totally different. And also, I got boy, girl, kids. I couldn't imagine writing them just one form letter about being a good dad. But by the way, the thing about the form letter about I was a good parent, Even though you don't know. Doesn't work on the people you parented. It will work on the neighbors or the neighbor's kids. It don't work for the people who are there.
Earthquake
Right.
Adam Carolla
They're on to you because they were there. But, yeah, I got the note.
Earthquake
Did you speak at the funeral?
Adam Carolla
Oh, my God. I think this is where we're going to part cultural ways. Mom and my dad both died. No funeral. What? See? Tell that to a brother. Nothing. I mean, nothing. No. No. Anything.
Earthquake
No, hold up. They die and that's it.
Adam Carolla
They die and that's it, man. There's no urn, there's no ashes, there's no headstone. There's no ceremony. There's no Wake. There's no church, no preacher, nothing. When white people are atheists, they can just die and that'll be that.
Earthquake
You are atheist.
Adam Carolla
Well, that's. My family's. That way I'm a little less. But. But the point is, is real atheists, white people, they just die and they take it to the grave and don't nobody say bye. No having the ghetto, no food.
Earthquake
No food.
Adam Carolla
Here's what I'm saying. Nothing. I'm talking. When I say zero, I don't mean 3%, I mean no anything. There's no nothing. Which is incredible because I think black folk do it up a little better. Yeah. That's why atheists, we do nothing.
Earthquake
Ain't nothing like picking up a woman at a weight.
Adam Carolla
Oh, you can do that? Yeah, because they're vulnerable.
Earthquake
They're very vulnerable. Especially ones didn't have no life insurance. Oh, that's when you catch them. Right there.
Adam Carolla
Oh, yeah.
Earthquake
Oh, that's good hunting.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Earthquake
Because see, you could tell she's. She's contemplating how's she gonna maintain that stand of living now. The provider is in the ground.
Adam Carolla
Gotcha. That's no Okanawa military base. That's fertile soil.
Earthquake
That's fertile soil. You can get it 10 cent on the dollar right there.
Adam Carolla
Smart.
Earthquake
Yeah. Cuz she know right then and there. Yeah. Go to a weight, you pick them up and you sit there coming in with a dish like some potato salad, Set it on the. On the, on the table.
Adam Carolla
Like bait.
Earthquake
Yeah. Look her in the face and she'd be like. You could tell she been crying, eyes puffy and everything. Just look in the face, said, what's wrong? And she just look you back and say, I'm in a bind, Nate. I'm in a bind.
Adam Carolla
I got you, Smart.
Earthquake
See the key is uncle gonna be over here from now on.
Adam Carolla
My parents never had. Your parents must have done something when they died, right? You had a whole funeral everywhere.
Earthquake
Well, we had a funeral. I took care of it. You took care of it for both of them? My mother and my father.
Adam Carolla
You paid for both of them?
Earthquake
Yes, I did. I buried both of them on it and headstone.
Adam Carolla
Everything.
Earthquake
Everything.
Adam Carolla
Thousands of dollars.
Earthquake
Yes.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, yeah.
Earthquake
Thousands of dollars. They. They're laying beside each other.
Adam Carolla
Oh, yeah.
Earthquake
Yes.
Adam Carolla
They stayed married all these years.
Earthquake
Yeah. Because when my. When, when my. When my. My mother passed first and when I went and bought the lot, I said, well, give me. I want to. They said too. Yeah. Because I looked at my father, I said, he next.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Earthquake
You know what I'm saying? So Might as well.
Adam Carolla
So your parents stayed married for how long?
Earthquake
60 years.
Adam Carolla
60 years.
Earthquake
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
That's unique.
Pluto TV Announcer
Yeah.
Earthquake
Yeah, it was. And they argued? 59 of them.
Adam Carolla
Really?
Earthquake
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
Wow.
Earthquake
Oh, my. They used to go at it.
Adam Carolla
Wow.
Earthquake
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
So they never got divorced?
Earthquake
No, no, no.
Adam Carolla
How many brothers and sisters you have?
Earthquake
I got three brothers and one sister.
Adam Carolla
And I'm guessing since nobody could pay for the funeral, they weren't wildly successful people.
Earthquake
No, they could have paid, but it's like in show business, whoever got the most money, pick up the tab.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Earthquake
And I'm the one.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. But both. And I feel like you do one and then they all chip in with the other.
Earthquake
I got it.
Adam Carolla
I bought my father in law's casket was $11,000.
Earthquake
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
And I paid for it.
Earthquake
Did you?
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Yeah. That was uncomfortable.
Earthquake
Did. Did he try to upgrade?
Adam Carolla
He was gone. But
Earthquake
now, I mean, the funeral director, did he try to upgrade?
Adam Carolla
I did. I did not talk to the funeral director. That's. If I had talked to the funeral director, I wouldn't have paid $11,000 for a casket.
Earthquake
I talked to him.
Adam Carolla
Oh, you did?
Earthquake
Oh, yeah.
Adam Carolla
He tried to upsell you?
Earthquake
Yeah, he did.
Adam Carolla
What'd he do?
Earthquake
He would try to give me the golden or the platinum package.
Adam Carolla
That's the whole thing. Yeah.
Earthquake
I said, nah, we good. My mother and father didn't believe in fancy stuff. Yeah, well, is that what I told him?
Adam Carolla
That's what you told him.
Earthquake
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
Well, look, I saved a lot of money with my mom and my dad because that was free.
Earthquake
Okay.
Adam Carolla
My. My mom donated her body to UCLA Medical.
Earthquake
Oh, that's beautiful.
Adam Carolla
And my dad. Unclear where he is. I don't know where he is, but he's somewhere. But, you know, it's the beauty of being an atheist. You just move right along. Nothing. I don't know many people who have no idea where their parents went after they died, but it's nuts.
Earthquake
I just don't know. The transit, the transition man, they're gone and then they just. Gone. They just. You just get the notice that they pass and that's it. Ain't no so fuck closure. That's the closure. Notification is the closer.
Adam Carolla
Them dying is the closure. That's the closure. They died and they closed and now it's done. Earthquake. Let me give you some plugs before we bid you adieu. Special Joe Kellan business out on Netflix. Very funny. It's been there for a couple months. You can check that out. Live dates or anywhere you want to find them. Go to thereealearthquake.com.
Earthquake
Yes.
Adam Carolla
Twitter, Instagram as well. We'll look forward to that Fox sitcom coming up. Thank you and take a quick break. Come back with Alicia Krauss in the news right after this. American Giant. A lot of people want to have a new wardrobe for the new year, but a lot of stuff, well, that looks good, doesn't feel good or last. The American Giant classic full zip hoodie is made to last a lifetime. So you can count on it and it'll bring you comfort and warmth year after year. Now, I'm wearing my American Giant shirt right now. It's substantial, it's thick. You can't see how thick it is, but it's warm and it's beautiful. And I do a lot throughout the day. An American Giant. Well, it looks good, it feels good, and it can handle any activity. It's just great, high quality stuff. I don't know. What do you want to do? Just be an ugly American and fill all the land fills up with your old junk or get the good stuff. American Giant. We should support that. Grab something built with the kind of quality you'll feel for years, not months. It's American Giant, right, Dawson?
Dawson
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Adam Carolla
Shopify. Well, I was on Rogan recently and I mentioned that the reason I did Dancing with the Stars is because it scared me. That's my whole career. Feel the fear and then go after it. So unless it involves a bear or a crocodile, then maybe stay, stay away. A lot of you probably scared to start your own business, but if you have an idea gnawing at you, well, it's time to take the leap. That's where Shopify comes in. They're here to help. They're the platform behind millions of businesses around the world and 10% of all e commerce in the US they'll help you design a studio, accelerate your efficiency and get the word out. It's Shopify. Right, Dawson?
Dawson
It's time to turn those what ifs into sign up for your $1 per month trial today at shopify.com corolla go to shopify.com corolla that's shopify.com corolla. It's time to check Adam's voicemail.
Alicia Krause
Hi, Adam, this is Stacy from St. George, Utah. If those pronoun People want to be known as they them, then charge them for group rate. Problem solved. Get it all.
Dawson
You can leave us a message at 888-634-1744.
Adam Carolla
Alicia Krause, birthday girl, is in studio for some news.
Alicia Krause
I have some news. Hey, I appreciate the lady on the voicemail.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, I do too.
Alicia Krause
I have more chicks on the voicemail.
Adam Carolla
I agree.
Alicia Krause
Come on, ladies.
Adam Carolla
Come on, ladies. Step up on the voicemail.
Alicia Krause
I know you're out there. I see you in the comments.
Adam Carolla
Mm.
Alicia Krause
Hopefully none of your lady fans are down in Mexico right now. There is some insane news out of there. The United States Department of State issued a shelter in place warning for the US Citizens in popular tourist destinations in Mexico and including Puerto Vallarta. I'm going to butcher this. Chapala and Guadalajara. The alert also listed multiple states like Nuevo Leon as places where Americans needed to shelter in place. The warnings came after an outbreak of cartel and military violence in the region. The U.S. state Department said that they would want Americans specifically and even like some Canadians, it sounds as if the cartel is going after just like white people because they're pissed off that due to ongoing security operations, one of their leaders was killed. And now this is their retaliation is to just go through the streets burning cars and killing people.
Adam Carolla
Well, it's something that's pretty foreign to us, but not to them, which is they essentially have armies, militias, cartels, well armed, trained guys with assault rifles and grenade launchers and stuff who just sort of whack up the country into regions and run a narco terrorist thing. Which, by the way, I want to just explain to everyone everything for just a second because the chickens are coming home to roost. Here in the United States to some extent and in Europe certainly, there are groups and nations and lands and everyone wants to celebrate diversity. Well, they're different. They do different things, they eat different things, they celebrate different ways. They watch soccer instead of football.
Alicia Krause
They don't have sandwich moms.
Adam Carolla
They don't have sandwich moms. They don't even have sandwiches. Some of these nations and they do things differently. And some of the stuff we like, some of the stuff is sort of like when you go down, I'll give you an example. Everyone who goes to Japan tells you how clean it is.
Alicia Krause
True.
Adam Carolla
Cause they're a tidy culture. Now. You can go good, bad, I don't know. They clean shit. They like clean stuff and that's kind of good and very minimal. I like it that way too. I like clean stuff, so that's good. And then there are other cultures that perform female circumcisions. And I don't like that. Now you go, is that a bad culture? Is it a good. It's a different culture. Some stuff you like, some stuff you don't like. Now we have a country and we have a border with two nations and one is Mexico and the other is Canada. And Canada operates one way and Mexico operates in a very different way. Now if you let a whole bunch of people from Canada over into the United States, there's gonna be some marginal changes like putting mayonnaise on fries or something. And watching a little more hockey boot. Yeah, and a little more hockey and a little less baseball or something. But it's gonna be pretty marginal stuff. But if you take large groups of people think it'd be a good idea to live in a narco state with a bunch of warring factions who are heavily armed and cut. Who have a saying, take this to the politicians, take the silver, take the lead, either take the money or get killed. If there's a lot of those people and they come here, we'll expect results that are consistent with what they're doing in their state and their country, which is consistent with every country everywhere. So my argument is it's not necessarily that people coming into your country is a bad thing, it's what country did they leave? And the ones they're forced to leave are usually the worst ones because of things like this. But whatever it is they engage in over there, a percentage will engage in it over here because that's part of their culture, just like the music or the food and Mexico's piece of shit. And it's a failed state. And I don't know why that's a hate crime, but it has so much.
Alicia Krause
Like if the president, I don't know. I was seeing some footage recently of their president who hates Trump and told Trump to tell her how to govern and all this stuff. And prior to the chaos that occurred over the last couple of days, she was saying something about, well, I can't really go after the cartels because that would be a violation of their civil rights.
Adam Carolla
They can't go after the cartels because the cartels are more powerful than they are. Yeah, okay. I have spoken about this solution
Earthquake
for
Adam Carolla
more than 30 years until microphone. The solution for Mexico. What will fix Mexico permanently? Mexico is not fixable cuz it's 100% Mexico and that's not good. It needs an influx of something else. Also, Israel will never be fixed because it's surrounded by terrorists who are anti Semitic and want all the Jews to die. Now, it's not because they want Gaza back or they want two separate homelands or. No, they hate Jews and they want them dead. Now, if there was something in Israel where it's like, oh, the Palestinians are reasonable people, they just want a little land on the coast back or something, that's fine. That's a negotiation. But if they want all Jews dead, well, then it's really a tough negotiation. What I'm saying. And I always said to Israel, you live in a giant ashtray filled with homicidal people that want you dead because you're successful and because they have horrible religion. Mexico needs Jews like no other state. There's no country that needs Jews like Mexico. Mexico is so short on Jews and lousy with Mexicans. And that's the problem.
Alicia Krause
Interesting.
Adam Carolla
The Baja peninsula, which I have driven.
Alicia Krause
Yes.
Adam Carolla
Is some of the most breathtaking. It's where the ocean meets the desert.
Alicia Krause
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
And it is breathtaking. And it not so different than Israel. I've looked it up. Average temperature, climate, everything. It's all about the same.
Alicia Krause
So we need some Jews to, like, reverse aliyah.
Adam Carolla
We need all the Jews. Listen, give Israel. Just give it to all your homicidal neighbors. They'll turn into a shithole in 10 seconds. And you guys move to Baja and take over Baja. Baja will now have the greatest resorts. And in general, whether it's governance or whatever it is, you guys need Jews in Mexico. And I've always said. I said for a place that lives off of beans, they don't have a lot of bean counters, they don't have a lot of money people. They don't have a lot of.
Alicia Krause
I feel like we need to get you on the phone with Jared Kushner and Steve Witkoff about this.
Adam Carolla
If you did a pilgrimage of Jews to Baja California and let them take over and start setting up businesses and start getting into infrastructure and government and all that, then Mexico would be a utopia in about 20 years.
Alicia Krause
So I did not have that idea. But we are kind of simpatico on the comparison to Israel, because I thought that much, like, it was so hard for the IDF to tamp out the regime, Hamas regime, like in Gaza. Because what do they do? They put themselves in tunnels and in schools and in hospitals and amongst the innocent population.
Adam Carolla
Yes.
Alicia Krause
That's what the cartel has done in Mexico.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Alicia Krause
That you can't just go bomb a village where they might be. Because that village has innocent women and children in it.
Adam Carolla
Yes.
Alicia Krause
That are just trying to live their daily life.
Adam Carolla
Yes.
Alicia Krause
And probably dreaming about coming to America one day. And it's very difficult to just like, wipe them out.
Adam Carolla
No, that's why we need to just classify them as terrorist organizations.
Alicia Krause
Well, the Trump administration has labeled them narco terrorist organizations, which was one of the things that AOC and Ilhan Omar were really upset about when he.
Adam Carolla
By the way, if they're upset, you're on the right track. Those dumb bitches. If they're upset about something, it means you got something, right, Dawson? Average temp in Jerusalem.
Alicia Krause
It gets chilly there.
Adam Carolla
Okay. It can get cold on Baja.
Alicia Krause
Yeah. Just at night and then the average
Adam Carolla
temp and I don't know, let's say Rosarita, California. Rosarita, Baja, Mexico. Let's say that's a nice little surfing fishing village somewhere a little further down than Ensenada.
Alicia Krause
I don't know. Have you seen these videos, though?
Adam Carolla
No.
Alicia Krause
Let's watch some of them because I don't know, if you. If they see these videos, they might be like, hmm, never mind.
Adam Carolla
We're not gonna show the Jews the video. You're not gonna do it. You hear me?
Alicia Krause
Okay.
Adam Carolla
I'm trying to entice them.
Alicia Krause
Just be like, there's no Hamas, but you might have to tamp out these cartels.
Adam Carolla
Well, when you're living with homicidal maniacs that are inventing they're putting explosive vests on nine year olds, these narco terrorists are walking the park. I mean, you gotta deal with Hamas, right? But like I said, these guys are garden variety narco terrorists, not suicidal jihadists.
Alicia Krause
That's true. These guys just don't like authority and they're pissed that their cartel leader died and that maybe some of the cops aren't taking their money.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, but there's no. They don't blow themselves up in pizza parlors.
Alicia Krause
But I mean, this is kind of insane that we're seeing this from the cartel. The. They were going like, they're just blowing up cars in Puerto Vallarta. They were going into the airport, like, shooting at people. That is terrorism style attacks that we haven't seen by them before. And we know, like, especially here in Southern California. California. There's like enough of the gang activity here that a part of me yesterday went, huh, I wonder if they're going to, like, call up their buddies in the States and want to do something here too.
Adam Carolla
This just in. First off, Tijuana and Tel Aviv, I mean, it almost sounds the same.
Alicia Krause
Travel from Tel Aviv to Tijuana on one direct flight.
Adam Carolla
That's like three beers from being the same place, Tijuana, Tel Aviv, you know, both on the Same latitude line. 32 degrees north. So they're on the same latitude, they're the same temperature, they're the same climate. The rain falls about the same. Average temps about the same. I guarantee everything's the same.
Alicia Krause
Wow.
Adam Carolla
And you have a beautiful Pacific Ocean just coming up against this red clay desert. Spectacular.
Alicia Krause
Okay.
Adam Carolla
And totally undeveloped.
Alicia Krause
Yeah. Honestly, I'm kind of surprised Trump hasn't said that. He wants to take it over and build a big resort.
Adam Carolla
I'm telling you, man. Gather up those Jews. Turn that place around.
Alicia Krause
No, no, no.
Adam Carolla
Let's gather the juice. Oh, okay. I guess a little history. Entice the Jews.
Alicia Krause
Yeah. Just put together a nice brochure.
Adam Carolla
Nice brochure. And then we gather and we take them. Take them to Baja.
Alicia Krause
Okay.
Adam Carolla
And it'd be a settlement type thing. We'd have incentives. You know what I mean? We could have. Land would be cheap.
Alicia Krause
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
You know what I mean?
Alicia Krause
Tax free, maybe. Yeah, you would say. They have lots of builders.
Adam Carolla
Oh, it'd be like six acres and a pinata. We'd put a kind of a thing together and they could all go there. They don't have any building codes or anything over there. You do what you want. Freedom, baby.
Alicia Krause
Interesting.
Adam Carolla
And I don't know if you've been down Baja, but it is beautiful.
Alicia Krause
I've only been to once. A long time ago. We did a morning answer cruise.
Adam Carolla
Oh, you did a cruise?
Alicia Krause
Did you ever do that, like a listener cruise?
Adam Carolla
Yeah, I went on a cruise to Ensenada with Jimmy a million years ago.
Alicia Krause
Yeah. So it was me, Ben and Brian, and we did, like, Puerto Vallarta, Mazatlan, and Cabo.
Adam Carolla
Beautiful. Yeah. That's further down. We just did the Ensenada one, and
Alicia Krause
I'm supposed to be in La Paz next couple of months. In a couple of months, But I don't know. Maybe not anymore.
Adam Carolla
Well, the cartel leader was killed by Mexican special forces, but apparently.
Alicia Krause
Was it. There was some rumblings about it. It being a joint operation with the US State Department, but who knows?
Adam Carolla
Okay. All right. Well, I don't know if there's film of it, but I'm telling my. My. I stand by my Tijuana plan.
Alicia Krause
The film of it is insane. Like, is this. This is the airport.
Adam Carolla
Oh, they're setting stuff up.
Alicia Krause
I think that's
Adam Carolla
people running through the airport.
Alicia Krause
Yeah. Just like.
Adam Carolla
I haven't even seen all this. Fires everywhere, burning cars, airport people hiding behind stuff.
Alicia Krause
It's horrifying.
Adam Carolla
Burning buses. Wow. It is chaos, man.
Alicia Krause
It's scary. And all obviously, like, all US Airlines are like, peace. We're not flying in there anymore. Specifically to these regions. And I guess we'll see what happens.
Adam Carolla
You know what I found really weird?
Alicia Krause
That's Puerto Vallarta, by the way.
Adam Carolla
That's Puerto Vallarta.
Alicia Krause
Yep.
Adam Carolla
I've been to Puerto Vallarta a few times. Party. Vallarta. Wow.
Alicia Krause
Yep.
Adam Carolla
You know what's weird? I was flying into, like, Puerto Vallarta or somewhere, Mexico, and we were taking off from lax, and as the plane was like an aeromexico plane, and as it was taken off the cabin, the door to the cockpit flew open, was just flapping back and forth. And I remember going, that's an unreinforced door. And it's just flapping back and forth. How come it's not reinforced and locked? And the stewardess was like, it's registered in Mexico or whatever. And I'm like, yeah, but it's flying over Encino. Like, if a terrorist takes over this plane, he's going to hit Sherman Oaks. He's not going to hit Mexico. We're here. They're like, no. And I'm like, really? So you're so lawless that your cabin doors are literally just slapping in the wind upon takeoff? Great culture over there. Wonderful. And the people. It's not. Let's see, it's not the. No, wait. It's not the people. The people are the best. It's the government who are Mexican. But.
Alicia Krause
And honestly, there's probably, like a hundred thousand Mexicans born in Mexico that I would rather have in the United States than Gavin Newsom types. Oh, you know, like the born here people that are just. America is the worst. It's like, let's ship them down there.
Adam Carolla
He grew up on the wrong side of the tracks. Hard Scrabble.
Alicia Krause
His dyslexia is now his new talking point. Have you seen this?
Adam Carolla
Oh, yeah, yeah. He's got dyslexia. We'll play it, and then I'll.
Alicia Krause
He got all pissy about Ted Cruz talking about his dyslexia. And now Gavin Newsom is getting some, I think, rightful pushback for telling a black mayor, quote, I'm like you before quoting his low SAT score.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, here we go. I'm not, you know, I'm not trying to impress you. I'm just trying to impress upon you. I'm like you. I'm no better than you. You know, I'm a 960sat guy. And, you know, and I'm not trying to offend anyone. You know, trying to act all there. If you got 940, literally a 960 SAT guy, I cannot. You've never seen me read a speech because I cannot read a speech. Maybe the wrong business to be in. Yeah, Got dyslexia.
Alicia Krause
So, like, why is this a thing now?
Adam Carolla
I mean, the guy dyslexia, or now
Alicia Krause
him talking about his dyslexia so much now your whole career.
Adam Carolla
I will explain it to you. Okay, it's got the Ted Cruz answer or whatever. That's the one. It's a text. A tweet. Ted Cruz.
Alicia Krause
There's some updates in the tweet department too.
Adam Carolla
Oh, Ted tweet back. Okay, first off, when we were bitching about the Burbank City Council shutting down Tinhorn Flats, my friend's family business for over 50 years and how tyrannical they were one of the lead guys in the Burbank City Council's explanation is he has a mental disability or something. Anyways, like half tarred and I'm like, so your argument is I'm retarded, so let me run your. Your city like I can't read. Let me lead the nation. Like I'm a dumb shit, so vote for me. Which is a weird pitch, cuz it used to be who's the wisest man in the land? You know what I mean? Who's the most scholarly? But now I'm a dumb shit. You're a dumb shit. Dumb shits love dumb shits.
Alicia Krause
Maybe part of the reason why our California budget is so screwed, right? And the fire departments didn't get enough funding is he got the numbers messed up. Quite literally.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. So what it is. All right, couple things with his dyslexia. He is a male, heterosexual, attractive, full head of hair, tall. Tall and white. And white. So he has and he runs. He wants to be the head of the grievance party. Who does? As a black woman, as a gay man, as a whatever marginalized individual and his group. If you're not marginalized, you can't rise to the top. You need to be the first woman of color and the first openly gay whatever. The first trans whatever. You need to be the first tranny, whatever, to run the Department of Labor.
Alicia Krause
He's gonna be the dyslexic dude.
Adam Carolla
As a dude, you can't hang a lot of stuff. Especially look, you're talking to a tall, gray looking white dude who's heterosexual all day long. Okay, so I can.
Alicia Krause
Also in California.
Adam Carolla
Also in California.
Alicia Krause
Also kind of Rich.
Adam Carolla
Also kind of rich. So what do we do? Well, you can go dyslexic or you can go Crohn's disease, but nobody wants to picture you gassing out on a commode. So we go dyslexic, right? So now you can gather. Now you're never gonna be the first black lesbian, whatever, but you can get some points in a party that gives out points for disabilities. You can be that and you have to go grew up poor. You have to do the grew up poor because that's your party.
Alicia Krause
Or single mom too. Like heaven forbid you have two married parents.
Adam Carolla
Oh no, no problems with modern society. There's two parents. So you have to go single mom, hardscrabble, wrong side of the tracks and dyslexic. And then what you can do there is you can counter some of the tall, good looking, rich white mantle.
Alicia Krause
He thinks, well, it's with a deep leg cross.
Adam Carolla
It's an attempt, but that's why he's hitting it hard. Now. The dyslexia Taco's. Every time I watch an old John Wayne movie, I know I need a new pair of boots. Something badass and American about them. And that's why I got me some to Kovas. So whether you're a generational rancher or first time boot buyer, they've got something for you. They care about their products. That's why each pair is handcrafted in over 200 steps. And when I put them on, well, there was no stiff break in period. Just immediate out of the box comfort. They've got apparel too, so you can get that fully authentic look of the American west. Trust me, you're going to feel like a badass when you put these on. It's to Covas, right Dawson?
Dawson
Right now we'll get 10% off@tocovas.com Adam when you sign up for email and texts, that's 10 off at t e c o v a s.com Adam to covas.com Adam See site for details To Covas. Point your toes West Pluto TV has
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Alicia Krause
This is the.
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Alicia Krause
So you wanted to talk about this Ted Cruz thing. This was from a while ago. But now there's an even greater battle that I'm excited to talk about. After you. After you look at these tweets from Ted Cruz that you like.
Adam Carolla
Well, you can read. Well, there's one came before this. I think we're.
Alicia Krause
So Ted Cruz talked about how Gavin News is historically illiterate, and then Gavin Newsom was like, he's calling a dyslexic person. And to my knowledge, like, two weeks ago, this was the first time Gavin Newsom was, like, assuming that Ted Cruz should know that he's dyslexic and therefore can't go after him.
Adam Carolla
It's. By the way, it's like Joe Biden had a stutter. Like, you made up some shit we've never heard. By the way, Dawson, I don't know why I'm looking at you. There's countless footage of Biden at age 47, just in front of Congress, waxing on for 20 minutes at a time about illegal aliens and not raising taxes and all the stuff you agree with. I don't hear him hiccup or stutter. I don't hear anything.
Alicia Krause
Nope.
Adam Carolla
So what do you mean he has a stutter? Where is this mystery stutter that I can't find tape of?
Alicia Krause
There's also. There has to be footage of all the times Gavin Newsom has read a teleprompter.
Adam Carolla
Yes.
Alicia Krause
Like, how does he. Anyway, so this is the greatest reader's note ever, because X now adds context. And it's like, Senator Ted Cruz did not refer to Governor Newsom's ability to read, but rather his knowledge of his history. Historically, illiterate refers to the knowledge of history. Newsom left the word historically out of the original tweet, which says historically illiterate. He wasn't calling him illiterate. So now after this video of him trying to say, I'm just like a black man, which is such an insult. It's like I'm. He's assuming that the black man got a low SAT score.
Adam Carolla
Right?
Alicia Krause
Sean Hannity ripped him a new one. My former boss and your buddy Sean. And it is so good.
Adam Carolla
We will love it.
Alicia Krause
This whole thread here is, like, amazing.
Adam Carolla
By the way, before Alicia goes in on that, look up the definition exactly of illiterate. Because he's going, you're saying I'm illiterate, And I'm saying, I can't read because I have a disease. But if you can't read, then you may be illiterate, even if it's a disease causing your inability to read. You know what I'm saying.
Alicia Krause
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
All right, go ahead.
Alicia Krause
And there's lots of ways we can learn about history. So this whole thread, if you could just click on that for me, Andrew, that'd be amazing. So Sean Hannity says about this clip, he thinks that a 960sat makes him like a black American. Let that sink in for you. Gavin Newsom then responds, you didn't give a shit about the President of the United States of America posting an ape video, President Obama, or calling African nations shitholes, but you're going to call me racist for talking about my lifelong struggle with dyslexia? Spare me fake effing outrage, Sean. Which is kind of crazy because, like, he and Sean, like, they've done some buddy, buddy interviews before. So then Sean responded again, like, literally right before he went to, to do the show today. Gavin Newsom, you didn't give a shit being Joe Biden's public spokesperson, knowing that Joe Biden partnered with the former Klansman Robert Byrd and they tried to prevent the integration of public schools. So spare me your effing fan phony feigned outrage. And how about you get homeowners building permits in the Pacific Palisades? The only thing that Sean could have done better. In this tweet, Sean says, get homeowners those permits in the Pacific Palisades instead of making an ass out of yourself daily. Just a thought. 100%. With the addendum, he could have also added an Altadena, a historically black neighborhood that you seem to not care about or talk about anymore.
Adam Carolla
See, I was right on this. He's saying, you're saying I'm illiterate, but I'm dyslexic. And the answer is yes.
Alicia Krause
Then you are.
Adam Carolla
You are illiterate. Here's it. Here's from the Oxford Dictionary. Unable to read or write. So if you have a disability that makes you unable to read or write, then you are illiterate. You just have an excuse, but you're still illiterate, retard.
Alicia Krause
Yeah, Tis true.
Adam Carolla
And you're too fucking dumb to even know the definition.
Alicia Krause
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
So yes, you're illiterate because you have a disease that you, by the way, it's made up. But you have a made up disease. For you.
Alicia Krause
I don't think dyslexia is made up.
Adam Carolla
No, made up for you. That's why I paused and said, for you, that says you cannot read. So if you have a disease. Look, look, you can go. If you're in a wheelchair, you can't dunk a basketball or you can't dunk a basketball and you have use of your legs, but you're saying you're in a wheelchair. How dare you accuse me of not being able to dunk. And I'm saying you're saying you can't read or write because you're dyslexic, so you're now illiterate.
Alicia Krause
Was also just adding he's historically illiterate, which is fact check. True as well.
Adam Carolla
That's true as well. All right, so it's got disease now. Let me explain something. He's just talking down to black people because that's what they do. That's their constituency. They're the black folk. And they talk down to them because they think they're dumb and they want to get the votes of dumb people and black people. And that's why they speak. When they speak to them, they speak in their vernacular. And that's why they have hot sauce in their purse. And that's why they go to the black churches and go, I ain't tired no more. That's like Hillary Clinton.
Alicia Krause
Oh my gosh. The.
Adam Carolla
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Alicia Krause
I ain't been no ways tired was actually what she said.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, yeah, that's.
Alicia Krause
Hannity used to play that clip all the time. Seared in my brain.
Adam Carolla
It's awesome.
Alicia Krause
For a thousand years.
Adam Carolla
But I'll tell you the interesting and the real racist part of being illiterate and being dyslexic, because I know it, I have lived it myself. I is a striking 6 foot 2, debonair man of non color, heterosexual, kind of rich. Well, but this is pre rich.
Alicia Krause
Oh, okay.
Adam Carolla
Wasn't always.
Alicia Krause
But you were kind of funny. The ladies like that.
Adam Carolla
The ladies like the sense of humor. I could not read or write myself my whole life because I never learned to read or write. And it was literally not learning to read or write.
Alicia Krause
And a public school just being like,
Adam Carolla
send them to the next warehousing. That's right. We got the school to prison pipeline for the black kids. We got the warehouse for the white kids. So I got into the warehouse. That's my privilege. So I got pushed along and I never learned to read or write. And then when I was older, people understood that I didn't read very well at all. I didn't write very well. And people think, oh, you just automatically know how to read? No, you don't. Think about all the early settlers that came into the western towns or something like, well, have the one guy read the newspaper because the rest of the guys on the farm didn't read because no one went to school and they never learned how to read. Okay? So I was told that I was probably dyslexic.
Alicia Krause
Okay?
Adam Carolla
People come up to me and go, come on, you're dyslexic. I go, I don't think I'm dyslexic. I don't know how to read. I haven't learned how to read. And by the way, there's nothing inherently. There's nothing inherently that makes sense about the three different ways to spell there. You either learn it or you don't. You know what I mean? Or. Or, you know, antique or unique, you know, you wouldn't know how to spell any of that. I would just spell everything phonetically. That's what it sounded like.
Alicia Krause
Which is a teaching style now, by the way.
Adam Carolla
Oh, boy.
Alicia Krause
You should have been homeschooled.
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Adam Carolla
I don't know what parents would do that. What kind of irresponsible, half drunk parents would force that upon their daughter? One day, if I ever meet your parents, I am gonna set them straight. Your dad's gonna extend his hand. I'm gonna kick him right in the nuts.
Alicia Krause
Just be like, why would you do that?
Adam Carolla
If I ever had the guts to show up at this place, I would give him a piece of my mind. Now, that's never gonna happen, but if it does. Yep. Be prepared.
Alicia Krause
I'll warn him.
Adam Carolla
You tell your dad and your mom that I'm disgusted. Disgusted in what they did to you,
Alicia Krause
that they chose to.
Adam Carolla
Robbing you of a childhood in a warehouse. In a warehouse. Now they're here.
Alicia Krause
They are here.
Adam Carolla
That's what I said.
Alicia Krause
They wanted to meet Adam on my birthday,
Adam Carolla
all right? So everyone said, well, Adam, you're smart and you're funny, and so you must be dyslexic. And I said, I don't think I'm dyslexic. And they said, well, you should get tested. And I went and got tested. Yeah, I know, exactly. It was on Ventura Boulevard and, like, ence. And then an office building.
Alicia Krause
Centers. Was it a leering center?
Adam Carolla
Yeah, leering center. I had a nice Somali lady. So I got tested for dyslexia. And when I was done, they just said, you're not dyslexic. You just don't know how to read. And I said, that's what I suspected, but I had to shut up. All the people who are well meaning, they're like, come on, Adam. You're a smart guy. Come on, don't tell me you must have a disease, but here's the part that I found interesting. If you're white and you can't read, you're dyslexic. If you're black and you can't read, the system let you down and you fell through the cracks. And you had teachers that didn't care.
Alicia Krause
Oh, but that's what I said.
Adam Carolla
We never go, you must be dyslexic. We go, oh, inner city guys, school. Never so busy running from gang bangers to school. Why can't black people be equally as dyslexic as white people?
Alicia Krause
Why would white people also be let down by a shitty public school system?
Adam Carolla
I was a white guy who fell through the cracks. And it's not like sickle cell. I mean, I would assume. Well, I don't know now. We gotta look it up. Dawson, it's dyslexia. It's only white people who are dyslexic. Tom Cruise is dyslexic. All the big stars, they always claim they're dyslexic. I never heard a black guy say, I'm dyslexic.
Alicia Krause
That's true. You hear, and I think it is a real thing. I actually think my husband is dyslexic and probably my own father. But you hear Tom Cruise, Dax Shepard talk about being dyslexic. You don't hear Kevin Hart and Denzel Washington ever talk about it.
Adam Carolla
Famous black people with dyslexia include actors Will Smith, Octavius Spencer, boxing legend Muhammad Ali, now musician Harry Belafonte.
Alicia Krause
Wow.
Adam Carolla
And activist Malcolm X. Those are some great. But does it affect white people more? Well, first things first off, anyone who can't read as an adult should say they're dyslexic. Cause otherwise it doesn't matter what color, it looks bad on you.
Dawson
It says that black people are much more likely to go undiagnosed.
Adam Carolla
Aha.
Alicia Krause
Yeah. Also, do you know that women and girls tend to be undiagnosed or diagnosed later for a lot of things than guys are?
Adam Carolla
Dyslexia always just seems to be the realm of the white dude. I don't hear women talking about it. I don't hear Hispanics talking about.
Alicia Krause
Maybe these women are smarter.
Adam Carolla
I don't think they allowed Japanese to be dyslexic. I think they will take you out and drown you. They will not have ever heard of Japanese guy's dyslexic. I don't think they can say it. I think that's part of the problem.
Alicia Krause
It's just something. It's an Unspoken rule.
Adam Carolla
No, it's not pronounceable for them. Oh, I'm saying they physically can't say. That's what I'm saying. Okay. Famous black people actress Will Smith.
Alicia Krause
Okay, so, yeah, it could be that the system does fail them, but the system is failing white kids too. And also I feel like sometimes middle class white parents are like hyper aware of these things or as people become more successful in adulthood, they can self diagnose or figure out issues well and all that stuff. And like, like I think that sometimes real Americans, no matter what color they are, like, they just gotta go to work and stay married and maybe have a vacation once a year down to Puerto Vallarta. The terrorists aren't blowing it up.
Adam Carolla
They open everything up to the spectrum. And then once it's the spectrum, then everyone has a little dusting of Asperger's and dyslexia and everyone's got everything now. That's the thing. So Gavin Newsom, he thinks black people are dumb and he's gonna go talk down to them, but he needs them to vote for him. But I never really get the thing. And by the way, black people, this is on you. You vote for Democrats, they talk down to you and think you're dumb, and you just keep voting for them. You should be insulted by the way they talk to you.
Alicia Krause
Well, this is what concerns me a little bit with agree with what ICE is doing. But the public perception of what ICE is doing isn't going great right now. And the general public says, polling wise, yes, we want closed borders, yes, we want safer streets. They just don't like to see the masked guys, you know, and all the media coverage of it. Right, Because Hispanics and I think you've seen an increase for President Trump and the GOP under him specifically back in 2024, Hispanics are coming to the right and slower, black Americans are coming to the right. And so therefore it's like, like, let's just continue to spread the message that we're all equal and let's not blow things up, politically speaking, and then go the opposite way. Like, Democrats do need to be careful of just constantly relying on these constituents that they tend to just treat like dummies. Quite.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, well, they'll import some new ones. The old ones won't vote for them. All right, you got another story?
Alicia Krause
Oh, we do. Have you seen those kind of like RV encampments all over Los Angeles?
Adam Carolla
Have I seen them?
Alicia Krause
You know that they have, like, they're like literal slumlords. Like, guys will have these broken down RVs and they cart them around the city and they make these poor homeless people pay them. Sometimes with horrific acts, sometimes with cash, sometimes with drugs. Well now LA wanted to dismantle these homeless RVs and a judge shut that down.
Adam Carolla
I first off, these judges, I have no idea what's going on. These RVs, I used to. Well, thankfully the only good thing that came out of the Palisades and Malibu fire is the RVs got destroyed. The RVs drugged up.
Alicia Krause
Homeless people were living.
Adam Carolla
Well, the RVs were lined up all down PCH and okay, first things first. And Dawson on the computer somewhere. I used to film it it all the time and give it to you guys and we'd show it on this show. So it lives in the computer somewhere. God knows if it's labeled correctly. I'm guessing not. But I took many videos. So PCH would have lined all the way up, up and down PCH and it would go from the most beautiful view in the world, which is the Pacific Ocean, to rusted out busted up piles of junk RVs. There's nothing more depressing.
Alicia Krause
It's not even like a cute old Airstream that somebody's fixing up. They were like gross. Tan, rustic.
Adam Carolla
You know the thing that's kind of funny stuff in life, like the sad stuff in life, like destruction and famine and blight and garbage and stuff is bad. But there's something that gets sadder. Like when you see an old concentration camp, you go, oh, that's sad. But it was always sad. It was never Disneyland. And then they turned it into a concentration camp. RVs and kids toys are the saddest when they go south. Oh yeah, because RV used to mean family recreation. See the nation. Like when that, that thing sold new in 1981, there was some nice family going, we're going to the Sequoias. This is gonna be awesome.
Alicia Krause
Yellowstone, here we go.
Adam Carolla
Yellowstone, here we come. It's a Chevy Chase movie. And now it's the saddest thing ever. And that's the same way with kids toys. Like sometimes I'll be driving down the five and you see the weird homeless encampment and you see the weird kids plastic castle on the side and you're like, ugh, Barbie's dream castles on the side of the 5 Freeway.
Alicia Krause
Or like the little trike that was meant for a toddler and the streamer. But no, it gets sadder.
Adam Carolla
Creepy, right? So the RV that once was the best day ever for that family is now guys cooking meth. And he's Living for Free by pch. And I used to film these things up and down PCH because there were, I will say at some point I counted like maybe 28 of them just going all the way down. Now the lots of after the fire down PCH are selling for $6 million apiece or for free you can park an RV and get same view. And I was like, what is going on? You guys are handing out speeding tickets left and right. But these things who by the way, empty their septic tank into the ocean.
Alicia Krause
So gross.
Adam Carolla
It's not like they hire some professional honey dipper to come out there and take care of it. I think that's what we called those guys on the job site. The whole point is, of course it's illegal. Everything's illegal. And as I was yelling at Steve Hilton, here's the society, here's what Malibu is. If you want to park your junker RV in a no parking zone just on the side of PCH and stare at the ocean and cook meth all day, you can do that for free. If you try rebuilding your house in the Palisades with no permit, you're gonna get arrested. Yep, that's the law. And that's how we enforce the law. Yep. And then at a certain point you have to ask yourself, well, what do we want more of and what do we want less of? Like, would you rather have more people just paying for their own rebuild and doing it professionally in the Palisades? Cuz they have to live in the house. They're not gonna make it dangerous or a bunch of junkies flopping out and busted up RVs. So somebody made this law?
Alicia Krause
Yep. AB 630 apparently says that you can't just have these RVs sitting on the side of the road. And Gavin Newsom signed it into law and it increased the financial threshold for LA and Alameda counties, allowing them to dismantle vehicles worth up to $4,000 and clear the streets of these RVs.
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Adam Carolla
That are parked everywhere.
Alicia Krause
That are parked everywhere. Well, so now there's a new state law pushing a new bill or a legislator pushing a new bill to let every city in LA county dispose of all of the RVs. But a judge in a Superior Court ruling, it was only two pages, so it's just a pretty easy read when it comes to judge writings. Judge Curtis A. Kinn said that Los Angeles officials lack the legal authority to carry out the state law that permits the dismantling of this. And he says, quote, AB630 provides no such authority. To the city of Los Angeles to continue forward.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, we're looking at Forest Lawn, which has a ton. Had a ton of them as well, but there's none on P. There's no footage of PCH that we can find. So, Dawson, how you figure it out? Just give it to the old guys. And they don't label it, I guess, is how we do it. We don't label anything.
Alicia Krause
Is that like that stretch where the studios are and then, like, the Toluca Tennis Club and stuff like that?
Dawson
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
You want to buy a house there, it's 5 million bucks. But you wanna park an RV there and do whatever you want. You can do whatever you want.
Alicia Krause
They did, finally. So there was, like, the RV ban lift briefly during COVID which was bullshit. And then they started to enforce it a little bit. I was passing schools.
Adam Carolla
Oh, unless you.
Alicia Krause
And I'm like, how the hell are we letting these guys just, like, camp out in front of schools?
Adam Carolla
Could you imagine? I know guys who, like, bought a house in Venice beach, built a $3 million house there. They're small lots. The front yards are not deep. Maybe 8 to 12, 18ft or whatever. And an RV just parks in front of them. And some crazed man just either has sex with prostitutes or sells crack. Literally just in front of your house all day.
Alicia Krause
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
And the city can't do anything about it.
Alicia Krause
It's not good.
Adam Carolla
Which is insane because the city can tow anything and do anything. I have a big dually ford f350. I was hauling a race car up to Laguna Seca, Northern California, a couple of years ago. Tabs were expired. Cop pulled us over. It's like, all right, just fix it. Ticket? No, we're towing it. They towed it to the law. They towed it. It was a tabs. Expired, dually registered. But the registration expired. They impounded it.
Alicia Krause
Cause you're the guy.
Adam Carolla
Cause I have money.
Alicia Krause
Yeah, you're the guy.
Adam Carolla
They can do whatever. He didn't know I had Crohn's or dyslexia.
Alicia Krause
You're a dyslexic dude.
Adam Carolla
All right, let's see. You can go to AdamKroll.com cause Friday, Saturday, gonna be in Dallas, Texas, at Hyenas. Doing stand up there. Earthquake. You can find his special on Netflix. Joe telling business. Leisha Krause, birthday girl, op ed for the Washington Examiners. Where you can find her.
Alicia Krause
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
With all the good ideas. With the folks listening in the back. Sharp cookie, nature, nurture. They did something right.
Alicia Krause
Alicia Crawford made me sandwiches and homeschooled
Adam Carolla
me oh, that's good. All I got was a knuckle sandwich. So till next time, Sam Crowford, Alicia Craig, an earthquake saying mahalo.
Dawson
Pick up your phone and leave us a voicemail at 888-634-1744 and get some tickets to check out Adam Carolla in Dallas this weekend@adamcorola.com.
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Earthquake
You swear if I'm lying, I'm dying.
Adam Carolla
This is the mindset free. This is the mantra free.
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Adam Carolla
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Earthquake
I swear, if I'm lying, I'm dying.
Adam Carolla
This is the mindset free. This is the man free.
Alicia Krause
This is
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Episode: Earthquake’s Wild Military Stories, How Steve Harvey Made Him + His New Bill Burr Sitcom
Date: February 25, 2026
Host: Adam Carolla
Guests: Earthquake (comedian), Alicia Krause (news)
Adam Carolla welcomes legendary comedian Earthquake for a lively, wide-ranging conversation. Earthquake shares uproarious and revealing stories from his military service, his unconventional start in stand-up comedy, and the crucial support he received from Steve Harvey. The episode also covers Earthquake’s new sitcom development with Bill Burr for Fox. Later, the show dives into the news with Alicia Krause, touching on cartel violence in Mexico, political banter, and LA’s homelessness crisis, all filtered through Adam’s trademark candid and comedic lens.
[02:26–16:53]
"I loaded aim 9s, aim 7s on F15, nuclear weapons on B52s." – Earthquake [03:16]
"Nobody held it against you." – Earthquake on dating in Okinawa [06:07]
"You get 15 women for a bag of oranges...$4." – Earthquake [10:21]
"It just popped and hit the ground, and everybody started running. I said, you cannot outrun a nuke." – Earthquake [13:09]
[16:53–22:09]
"You can’t just open your own comedy club, mama... Well, why not?" – Earthquake recounting his mom’s advice [18:51]
"Once he came and performed in my club and drew all the people, they came to see him and they discovered me, and the rest of it was history." – Earthquake [22:09]
[22:09–32:25]
[33:25–38:09]
"Fox goes straight to series when they do with. They don't do pilots anymore." – Earthquake [34:06]
"My mantra is, I don't have a black show. I got a hit show." – Earthquake [40:05]
[40:42–43:20]
"He's a mogul...it motivates him. And God bless him. Me, I just myself just enough..." – Earthquake [43:21]
[43:42–53:30]
"I make enough money for me. For me it's you I don't make enough money for." – Earthquake [44:05]
"When white people are atheists, they can just die and that'll be that." – Adam Carolla [48:56] "Ain't nothing like picking up a woman at a wake." – Earthquake on wake relationships [49:56]
[57:36–101:43]
[58:17–71:48]
"Mexico needs Jews like no other state...lousy with Mexicans. And that's the problem." – Adam Carolla [64:28]
[73:28–87:32]
"If you're not marginalized, you can't rise to the top. You need to be the first woman of color... first tranny, whatever..." – Adam Carolla [76:38]
[93:28–100:10]
"If you want to park your junker RV in a no parking zone just on the side of PCH and stare at the ocean and cook meth all day, you can do that for free." – Adam Carolla [97:01]
"I said, you cannot outrun a nuke. You might as well run toward it, make it easier." – Earthquake [13:09]
"We used to catch the unattractive women when they first landed on the island, before they found out they was attractive." – Earthquake [06:21]
“Just get your own...People don't let you ride their bikes, you gotta get your own bike.” – Earthquake’s mom, retold [18:51]
"I don't have a black show. I got a hit show." – Earthquake [40:05]
"Them dying is the closure. That's the closure. They died and they closed and now it's done." – Adam Carolla [54:18]
"The only good thing that came out of the Palisades and Malibu fire is the RVs got destroyed." – Adam Carolla [94:13]
The episode is energetic, irreverent, and unflinchingly honest, laced with signature Carolla humor and sharp asides. Earthquake matches the host’s wit, candidly sharing both hardship and hilarity. The transition to news keeps the tempo brisk, with Alicia bringing in headline topics that Adam skewers and contextualizes with both skepticism and glee.
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